#i dont like how they shape me .. youre not allowed to remind me of the shape of my lower half ty

[todayisafridaynight]

Actually, I agree. You're gonna be in your little midlife crisis and you're gonna be: "I wish I dressed like this when I was a kid but now that I'm an adult I can do!" and you'll totally dress up like the way you dress up Daigo... an emo/goth adjacent gay looking person.

Like, let me ask you... how many red and black clothing articles do you own, Snap?

most of my closet is black but thats not even my fault black just goes with everything but we literallyyy DONT have to mention my black-and-red striped long sleeves those are hand me downs. and ones i bought--

#snap chats #a lot of my clothes are hand-me-downs from my ex-emo sister so i was already set up to fumble #I DONT EVEN OWN THAT MUCH RED if i do it's in the form of dress shirts .. or like. accents on graphic shirts 💀 #my school's colors are red too like im literally stuck with a black and red plaid blanket. and pj bottoms. but i owned those beforehand-- #anyway the real thing here is that id never wear skinny jeans. theyre my enemy they make my legs hurt and hug me too tight #i dont like how they shape me .. youre not allowed to remind me of the shape of my lower half ty

[weebsinstash]

Do you ever wonder how complicated or nuanced it might be setting personal boundaries with a poly yandere Asmodeus and Fizz. Like do you ever workshop Lust Ring worldbuilding culture and realize "oh wait shit wouldn't it paradoxically be really easy AND ALSO borderline impossible to be open with and enforce your personal boundaries in a place perpetually encouraging the most openly brazen of carnal displays"?

Like. Obviously I like one of them more than the other but silly little guys are growing on me and, just. Imagine being a Sinner and being down in the Lust Ring and realizing they have a completely different culture around just, showing your body and being open with yourself and your desires and, you're suddenly not sure what things are sexual harassment or considered their normal culture and you're not sure what you're even allowed to verbally express discomfort against because. Is it actually something normal and YOU'RE being weird and mean to THEM? Or, are you unintentionally letting people do REALLY creepy things to you?

You move out of Pride and your new coworkers in Ozzie's building are constantly eating dick and pussy shaped foods? Your coworker is throating a dick shaped ice pop at their desk? Your coworkers are varying levels of half naked? That's not perverted, it's normal and healthy and they're confident in their healthy sexuality :) oh, but you think that's weird? You don't want to look directly at someone's tits when they ask your opinion on their new nipple piercings? Aw, aren't you cute, being too shy to be open with yourself! maybe we all need to show you a few things to welcome you to Lust--

Like, I know Ozzie is dead set on consent but I often brainstorm different variations of those opinions or otherwise in a yandere setting. Ozzie is accepting and open and body positive! Therefore he might be completely in the nude while he sits in a recliner and you're asked to bring him something and he ISN'T EMBARRASSED AT ALL. Aw, he doesn't care if you see his dick, he's not ashamed of his body :) and you don't want to tell him to cover up because he's so nice to you, right? Like..... the perfect fucking gentleman BESIDES these um. Conflicting opinions on modesty and boundaries. Like genuinely he is such a good man fr i want him biblicly 😩❤️

These two out here with their fucking "what are you talking about, this blatantly sexual thing we're doing isn't sexual at all, you're being weird and seeing things thst aren't there and also dont kinkshame us wow thats rude?" bullshit. Oh so you got too drunk at an office party so they made sure you got home safely so no one took advantage of you? Yeah that's cool! Or it would be if they didn't take you to THEIR home though! Oh, it was weird for you to wake up literally sandwiched between them in a pair of pajamas meaning they undressed you? Yeah? Well you had to get your sleep and there's only one bed and they wont make you sleep on the couch and Ozzie's chest is nice and broad and warm and Fizz can rest his face on your tummy and-- why are you scowling and looking grossed out, they were just making sure you were warm and cozy, but if that made you uncomfortable, they're sorry you felt that way from them just trying to so something nice for you--

I recognize it's canonically antithetical to his actual beliefs but yandere Ozzie who is like "oh you're not comfortable sharing details about your sexuality or your body or your sex life with me? I mean. Oh gee it would be like so awkward if we were having drinks as friends and I charismatically loosened your lips over time by repeatedly pressing the issues until you give in! It's not a real 'no' if it eventually becomes a 'yes' right?"

Fizz is like. A fucking jester. He's a clown. He's THE silly little guy. So you almost regard him as this nonsexual cartoonish entity until he occasionally has shit slip out of his mouth that reminds you No Honey That's A Grown Ass Man, he's saying shit like "oh wow seeing that crop over there reminded me of the other week where Ozzie and I were doing horseplay and you should've SEEN when I took one to that huge butt of his, he was SCREAMING into the bridle gag and-"

I FEEL LIKE YOU'D CATCH THEM LIKE, ULTRA WEAPONIZING T H E I R RULES. Yeah, consent is important! That's why you're not allowed to flirt with that dilfy incubus, because, what is that in your hand? Gasp, is that a single shot? You've been drinking therefore you can't consent and you're being CARRIED away if that gets you to stop talking to this guy

Like imagine you're this shy bullied little thing and Admodeus is treating you like this precious egg that he can't wait to hatch and then it's like, you're dressing up sexy and coming on to someone ELSE talking about how you wanna suck THEIR dick and suddenly he's all "uh um uh hm you know what?you're moving too fast, people are gonna take advantage of you, you're not ready, let me take you home--"

"BLOWJ0BS FOR ME BUT NOT FOR THEE" for reeeeeeeal!!!!! You're sitting in like, the living room, basically forced to be celibate (unless ya bone them) and in the next room over IN THE ONLY BEDROOM you're hearing like *spanking* *bicycle horn* *that one oh yeah sound effect* *shaking tin sfx* *water splashing* *rubber ducky squeaky noise* *slide whistle* *whoopie cushion* and then the both of them limp out of there visibly disheveled and asking if you want to order a pizza because WOW THEY'RE JUST WAY TOO HUNGRY TO COOK DINNER TONIGHT FOR SOME REASON--

#yandere hellaverse #yandere helluva boss #hh #yandere x reader #yandere stuff #hb #sinprompts

[raainberry]

Chill(y)

« silly series - 4 »

Sana x gn!reader

Fluff

synopsis - just a case of those insanely cold winter mornings except you have a cute gf to warm up with

wordcount - 801

T/W - one singular soft cuss word, also suggestive

A/N - IDK ABOUT YALL BUT ITS COLD AS BALLS OUTSIDE MY GOSH. every winter i’m appalled at the temperature drops in the morning, the only good thing this year is that i got inspired. i actually dont use Sana’s name btw so if you wanna imagine someone else, you’re free to do so it’s none of my business, ENJOY

Getting woken up by the mattress bouncing a couple times underneath you wasn’t something you expected the night before.

Confusion levels were high, and the sheets ruffling together behind you weren’t any help. You had to open your eyes and look over your shoulder to find answers.

You still didn’t really know what to expect, but seeing your girlfriend shivering as she adjusted the blanket around her own body nearly got it off yours.

“What are you doing?” You mumbled still half asleep.

“It’s so cold.” She complained as she continued to wrap her body in whatever way she could. “Like, actually freezing it’s insane.”

You chuckled, rubbing your eyes before turning on your back. “Did you turn the heater on?”

“No, do you want me to die?”

You rolled your eyes at her drama and began to sit up in order to do it yourself. Sure, there was a possibility she wasn’t exaggerating, but that’s one more reason to do it. The love of your life will not freeze to death on your watch.

“Where are you going?” She asked with her head peeking out of the covers.

“Going to turn the heater on.” You answered, throwing the covers off yourself before leaving a kiss on her forehead.

“Okay, well hurry. I don’t want to go retrieve your frozen body in the hallway… I’m not in the mood.”

You only laughed, promising her that it would only take a couple minutes—and it did take a couple minutes, but that was two minutes too long.

She was not exaggerating at all, even the wooden floors beneath your feet felt cold to the touch. You ended up having to sprint back to your bed the way she had done a moment ago.

The sight seemed to amuse her according to the giggles that left her lips and bounced off your bedroom walls. You couldn’t ignore them, nor how they warmed you up on their own on this cold morning.

The way she opened her arms up to invite you into her blanket cocoon made you sway. You gladly jumped into it with the biggest smile, letting her coddle you as you focused on actually warming yourself up.

“Don’t laugh, that was you five minutes ago.” You said, snuggling into her side.

“So what? You should have laughed then too.” She shrugged.

You ignored her words as an idea popped in your mind. It was a little mean, and you felt a little bad about it, but the eventual reward of hearing her laugh was enough to make you proceed.

So instead of answering her, you snuck your cold hand beneath her shirt. Your fingers only grazed her skin, but it was enough to make her shriek at the temperature shock.

“Y/n!” She whined, slapping your hand away as the annoyance in her voice turned into the melodious giggles you loved so much.

“What? You can do the same.”

“It’s not fair, my hands are warm now.”

“And I need to warm up. Sounds ideal to me.” You shrugged innocently. “Although, I would like it either way…”

“This behavior will only get you on the naughty list.” She warned, reminding you of how close the year-end festivities were.

“I wouldn’t mind not getting presents.” You shrugged again before adding, “That means you’re all I need by the way.”

“Am I weak or was that good?” She wondered, making you laugh.

“That was easily my worst work, I’m sorry baby, but you’re weak.”

“Your worst work, huh?” She repeated, and you nodded. “Well your fingers have been doing a great job…”

She finally acknowledged the random shapes you gently caressed all over her side, and your heart started racing as the near future she let on allowed various ideas to bloom in your mind.

“Maybe I’ll give you a chance to redeem yourself.” She whispered, making the moment that much more intimate.

You only smiled at her suggestion. As much as the ideas were enough for your blood to rise in temperature, it was just too damn cold.

“I’m sorry, I just can’t right now. There’s no way I’m getting out of this blanket.”

“You tease. Who said you’d have to get out of it?” She pointed out, leaving soft kisses along your jawline only for you to try and get away from them.

“Come on, Y/n, can you think of a better way to warm up?”

“Yes, by cuddling you like this and going back to sleep so I can ignore it” You argued, nuzzling your face further into her neck, where she couldn’t access any of your weaknesses.

You felt her breathe in before letting it out in a heavy sigh. “You’re lucky I like you.”

“I know, that’s what I tell myself everyday.”

#twice x reader #kpop x reader #sana x reader #sana imagines #twice imagines #sana fluff #minatozaki sana #twice sana

[not-goldy]

Hello I'm not quoting blog name here but what do you think about this ? Your real opinion about Jimin and Jungkook.

the thing is i dont think jikook are actually together. i think they have feelings for each other and on some level they both know it and i think they play it up in front of the camera because it feels safer in some twisted way-- they can write it off as fanservice. theyre obviously the closest in the group but besides a few drunken... not kisses but charged moments (the hickey hello), i dont think theyve done anything. i think they are acutely aware of the eyes on them and the line they cannot cross, and i think they toe it more often than they probably should. i think they date other people. i think as their outside relationships ebb and flow so does the bond between them, i think there is jealousy, i think there is confusion about what will happen between them. i think theyre both very aware of their status as celebrities and that they will simultaneously be wholeheartedly accepted and carelessly shunned, i think nothing will happen until after their military service, i think, realistically, nothing will happen until after DISBANDMENT, when they try to stay away from each other, bitter, and realize they can't

I think it's beautifully written.

It's the most serene form of adultification of Jikook I've seen so far. Don't get me wrong. Jikook are adults, yes. But they've not always been adults.

But I mean, I would come to the same conclusion too if I was looking at jikook in media res. It's very easy to look at them as they are now and think - for lack of a better word- highly of them because they look like two professionals and two self respecting adults who have control over their charged "chemistry" on screen.

But I'm afraid that's not jikook.

I met jikook as teens and have had the privilege of watching them literally grow to become the jikook we see on screen today.

"They are very aware of their status as celebrities"

Uhmmm celebrities where?? Here? I think da fuck not

I don't even think it's clocked for some of them that they are celebrities and some of them are still getting used to the fact they are.

You know there was a time they would stroll into airports and nobody cared? Shocking I know. They took to the streets to sell their own tickets and would keep asking strangers, "do you know BTS"

Back in their own home country not many people even knew who they were.

And you have to understand this fact about them on order to appreciate the gravity of their success. They are a spectacle and such a global phenomenon partly because of their poor to riches story. Let's not belittle that for literary symmetry.

Bts hasn't always been this big huge stars of world dominating proportions. Believe it or not.

That gaze we think shapes their every conduct now hasn't always been there. No one was checking for them like that and like they themselves said some of them even nearly quit because they didn't know they would become this huge.

In the Fandom we talk about Namjoon constantly keeping them in check and reminding them people are watching- mind you these are media trained idols we talking about and yet how many times have we had to clear searches for their blunder? How many times have they had to issue an apology for the song lyrics or comments they've made.

They are constantly reminding eachother of the gaze

BTS came from somewhere. Whatever platform they are on they built it from the ground up. As good intentioned as we are in our analysis of them, we shouldn't take that away from them.

They've been in the mud and they've got some dirt on them and they've done things when they thought no one was watching. But that's part of their journey. You don't need to bend over backwards and clean them up to make them look presentable. Which is what I feel OP is doing here. A cleaned up version of jikook.

Op talks about a few drunken moments- was this before or after Jungkook was legally allowed to drink alcohol? Or is she just superimposing adult jikook on all stages of Jikook's journey? See what I mean?

BTS have talked about struggling with teenage hormones, about struggling with lust and love, watching porn, popping off, girls, boys, dating, attraction, gender expression, struggling with their identity- those are very valid lived experiences we cannot take away from them.

We cannot for instance take away from the fact they shared a bed while naked, the fact they sneaked into each other's hotel rooms and was caught on camera, nor take away from them the feeling of attraction or the fact they love each other.

And while Anon likes to think so highly of them as to believe they could be in such close proximity, as human as they were, as young as they were, as hormonal as they were, willing to experiment and take risks, that they could restrain themselves because of a career they had no idea they would have or because of a large audience that didn't exist at the time, I have no such compunction. Jikook fucked eachother. They were young, and wild and horny and they fucked eachother. It's very simple.

One plus one is two for me. I don't have to rack my brians or sugarcoat it.

"Nothing will happen until after disbandment."

Why do people make sex out to be such a big deal😭

IT'S JUST SEX.

Okay scratch that, it's not just sex for them because it's also about having their needs met, it's about the companionship, self discovery and exploration. People think being an idol is easy. It gets lonely and often times depressing and these people develop all kinds of coping mechanisms and to me jikook found each other to cope too.

We cannot have a conversation around Tae Tae's struggles and depression, Jimin's complaints of loneliness, Namjoon and Suga's you know what, Jin's depresion and abyss while also not considering what they'd done or what they would have needed to do to cope. Especially when we read that other idols were and are advised to date, do therapy, smoke, do drugs, fuck around- albeit discreetly as a cooping mechanism for these struggles.

They can give each other hickies and rat each other out in public for said hickies, touch their dicks and spank each other's ass, they can play kiss kiss with each other as part of games, and tell each other they like to be tied up, but God forbid they actually kiss.

And gaze or not, there men have lived their lives and gathered experiences. Not all facet of their lives are controlled by our gaze. They out there living their lives I promise you that. They all fucking those they want to fuck, taking substances they wanna take, drinking whatever the fuck they want to drink.

Our opinion of them isn't stopping them from living their lives. That's my opinion and my belief. Just because I say they not screwing no body don't change a thing for them.

And if jikook ain't fucking, really their loss 💀

I wouldn't mind fucking jimin for Kook. Imma blow his back the fuck out. Every block boy need a little love💕

Put it down and imma pick it up purr

These mofos are out here thirst trapping eachother thrusting their hips in sexual aggression and belting in high key notes over sex and here we are thinking they are too decent to the blowing it up each other's ass.

And to think they both been acting dickmatized all these years because they aren't screwing??? Huh???

Yall do too much I swear

Look, this is a bell

This is Jimin ringing said bell

This is Jungkook when he heard Jimins bell

And this is Jikook ring ranging the bell together

Jikook are fucking eachother. They can't unring that bell and no one can convince me otherwise. I just don't trust that with all the sexual tensions and all the alone time they spend together that all they do when they are alone is read scriptures.

Nope. Nah uh

But hey, to each their own.

[audie430]

BSD guys comfort you when you feel down

ft. dazai, chuuya, ranpo, atsushi

Hello beautiful! I hope you're doing well :) in honor of bungou stray dogs season 4, here are some new headcanons. I'm writing some hurt-comfort/fluff once more bc I'm a sucker for it and I'm ready for the year to be over already (only 10 days in haha💀).

Chuuya Nakahara

lmao fiesty boi

more spicy than takis

anyways

this shawty is a busy man, he has lots of work to always do so it would take him a few days to realize you're in a funk

I think he would figure out when he comes home for dinner and you arent as expressive as you usually are

he fell in love w you for how pure and adorable you areeee😭😭💕

he would ask what youre preparing for dinner and you'd answer w smth like "sigh, whatever you want. Or take out."

This boy loves your food, even if you suck at cooking

He sees you on the couch scrolling through your phone, seeing your unhappy expression

"Hey y/n.. whats wrong?"

"Hm? oh nothing, Im fine"

GIRLIE CUT THE CRAP-

hehe jkjk unless..

he would obviously not break you bc youre like invinsible and like the biggest stone walls protect your heart from being vulnerable :/

He'll tell you he's getting chinese or smth and grab his keys to leave

but in reality he goes out to the store and buys all your fav things and the things that remind him of you

this guy is rich, he will buy you everything

Imagine him coming home w ingredients for your fav meal and an extra bag w a new teddy bear and maybe even a face mask, perfume, and a new nail polish color, or maybe matching hoodiessss

"uh chuuya, what are you doing? what's that?"

"I dont know whats burdening your sweet lil head, but darling whatever it is, just acknowledge those bad feelings and set them aside. You're so strong, but I want you to rest now. I bought you something and Im gonna be cooking your favorite tonight. Go open your gift, I'll tell you when food is done."

cue your tears

"darling?"

"..thank you bub"

he'll wrap you in his arms, rubbing your head, and drawing shapes on your back

"shhh sh sh, I'm here now"

he'll grab a chair so you can hang out w him in the kitchen while he cooks

he'll softly smile everytime your face lights up while you are opening your gifts

then you'll get to the bottom of your present

a rock?

"rocks always remind me of you, silly girl"

he was your penguin, giving you the smoothest part of earth he could find

after dinner, he'll get a bath running and join you

just innocent touches on your body to help you relax and sweet nothings to help your tired mind.

you practically become jelly in his hold

he'll carry you to bed, rub your back some more

all the head kisses in the world from chuuya ofc

"sleep well, little lamb"

Osamu Dazai

im simping all over again, pls let me drown w him

i wanna cuddle and watch disney movies pls😩

depression who

this man knows the dark side, he has always had to protect himself from others

until he met you anyways

Lets say yall have been together for about 8-9 ish months. You both have opened up about your lives, but ofc not everything

Your past rises to the surface, whatever it is: its a bad memory and you break down

Im gonna say you found smth triggering while you scrolled through your cell phone

You were taking a sip of water when it happened and it caused your hand to slip

glass broken everywhere; the sound was loud and made your mind fuzzy

You couldnt move

"Dearest, i'm homeeeee🕺🏻🕺🏻🕺🏻"

literally not rn dazai-

anyway, his eyes widen. there you are on the brink of collapse

your knees are physically trembling, eyes watering and foggy

you couldnt even process dazai being there, did you even know he was there?

"y/n.. dont. move. I'll pick up the glass"

he needs to make your surroundings are safe before he can assess what the hell actually happened here

you answer him with a whimper, still trembling

he quickly sweeps the glass closest to you so he can grab your hand. you flinch but allow the touch otherwise so he can set you down

youre sitting on the floor while he picks up the rest of the glass

once he tosses the glass out into the bin, you couldnt hold it in as you started bawling

dazai quickly comes to you, he kneels in front of you trying to get your attention

thankfully you look at him and reach for him

he gently manuvers you onto his lap and allows you to curl into him

"o-osamu, I cant anymore, it.. it hurts"

the detecrive wont say anything more than a few short comforting whisperings and shushing you while he plays with your hair and gives your head a few kisses

he'll wait to move from the floor when you can breathe, and if you need a little guidance, he will see to it

"y/n, look at the palm of my hand. When we breathe in, you're gonna slowly trace all my fingers starting with my thumb, okay? You're gonna do the same thing when we breathe out. Go from the middle of my palm to the thumb, alllll the way to my pinky, can my lovely do that? here, lets do it together."

And slowly you inhale, you tickle his fingers when you trace the base of each of them up to his fingertips, then go back down to meet the following finger. You make your way back to his thumb and you exhale as you repeat the action all over again.

he'll pick your body up against his and he'll cuddle you in bed until you fall asleep

"my sweet girl, you did so well. I love you, have sweet dreams. I'll join you soon."

And when you wake up, you'll be met with your fav take out and a new spft blanket that was just in the dryer

Ranpo Edogawa

how did this man realize his feelings for you? or do you just taste like chocolate?

you knew coming into this relationship would be difficult

he's a literal child at 26

You or someone else will have to tell ranpo that you arent doing so great

in this scenario, we're gonna say someone else

kunikida: "hey ranpo, whats going on with y/n lately?"

"its probably their time of the month"

👊🏻💥

he's clueless until he puts on those glasses istg

he'll give you a glance and realize you're basically sulking

your shoulders look stiff, you have bags under your eyes, you look shaky, but not sick?

he put on his glasses and it all literally clicked

"ohh so thats what it is"

"uh ranpo who are you talking to?"

"not right now astushi, youll understand when youre older"

if yall are still at work when he gets the time to start a conversation with you, he will give you a snack of your choosing

and yes he will pout

"huh you want that one?! ahh, okay.."

and then youll quickly excuse yourself to do more work to rid yourself of your negative thoughts

youll drive ranpo and yourself home. you slump on the couch, your eyes watering. You are so tired

Ranpo will sit next to you and harshly pull you into his side to kiss your head before laying your head on his lap

"I dont like it when your sad, and I'm not good with nice words, but I can listen so spit it out so I can make you feel better."

he'll hold you all night, however you'd like

and if you rant thats up to you

just know that he is right there and you're in this together♥︎

Atsushi Nakajima

rawr

he's a sweet lil angel and will do ANYTHING to make you smile

"uhm y/n, i'll turn into a tiger for you"

"hey y/n just wanted to let you know that I did the dishes!"

"hey sweetie! do you wanna cuddle, maybe?"

^his love language is def shown through actions so he will either hold you or help you through most of your chores

it all started at the beginningnof the week, you were not feeling it

it was rainy and you were exhausted: it was only monday

you both had off work and it was pouring out, so you were stuck at home

atsushi said he would start w the chores but you didnt think he meant yours too

the whole apartment was tidy and he was even making you your fav sandwhich

he even turned on your fav show before giving you lunch

he sat next to you and pulled your feet into his lap

when he was done your sandwich, he massaged your feet and ankles and even kissed your toes to make you laugh

dw, you were wearing socks

affer eating and your episode finished, atsushi decided to pull out your record player and play your fav songs

*imagine enchanted by ts playing while he spun you in the living room🥺

"ahh, atsu! hahah"

it was.. enchanting to meet you

"oh princess, you make me wonder what I did just to have you in my life"

"I love you so much, let me take care of you today, and everyday after that."

"I want to watch you walk down the aisle in a pretty white dress"

he rlly simps for you, hard

astushi will spoil you the rest of the day with lingering soft touches, give you an early present that he was saving for your birthday, make dinner too

he would run you a bath and let you borrow his favorite hoodie and blush when you smell him on it

youre so tiny in his hoodies😭😭 he absolutely adores it

and he hopes that he can forever make you smile

"I never want to be the reason to make you cry, rest now. I'll protect you tonight. Every night, I promise" *kiss

oml look yall I did it, i wrote fanfiction. I hope yall have a great new year! dont forget to give me some ideas for work in the future, I will love yout input! have a lovely day, gorgeous :)

#bungo stray dogs x reader #bungou stray dogs #osamu dazai #atsushi nakajima #ranpo edogawa #bungou stray dogs ranpo #edogawa ranpo imagines #osamu dazai icons #chuuyabsd #chuuya supremacy #chuuya fluff #bungou stray dogs chuuya

[tomboyyyaoi]

Vashwood thematically feels like two starts orbiting each other very closely, while Vashmeryl is like a planet naturally orbiting a start or large force of mass. Like they both are about two people revolving around each

i see u and if u dont mind me pulling off this to make it much more essay-ish than it needs to be,

for me it feels like vash has 2 sides to his character and both wolfwood n meryl are there to understand each of those sides

wolfwood relates to and resonates w his more "monstrous" side, theyve both seen hell and come out with completely different views but despite that they still are probably the only two who really Get eachother for that, just feeling too big for your skin and that theyr only deserving of loneliness, but they find eachother and they click because they fit more in with the monstrous, evil, barely human people of nomans land who want to see it burn and theyr always pulling themselves from comfort and happiness because they feel they dont deserve it and they need to atone for the people who Made them, but they find it in eachother whether they mean to or not until the very end. they even became so enamoured with eachother that when wolfwood died, in a sense, he joins rem in vash's head as someone to fight for and someone who shapes his reasoning, he only kills legato to save livio because wolfwood died for livio, just like how rem died to save everyone so then anyone dying would be a waste of her death

for meryl she sees herself in the more human side of vash, despite all hes been through he still smiles like its nothing and she knows damn well thats not normal and hes hiding his pain because hes still a person. when vash kills legato he breaks down completely she holds his head in her lap and thinks about how she did the same when she first killed someone because its such a human reaction, something the people of nomans land seem to have forgotten. theyr horribly terrified to get close to eachother because she knows hes not human, she knows what hes capable of and shes absolutely got issues herself with being emotionally closed off and for vash we know he punishes himself by not allowing himself simple comforts as well as the fact he knows hes a danger to those around him but theres still a person in there and meryl sees it and vash knows she does and is so relieved that Someone does but theyr both too traumatised to get close but by the end of the manga we start to see them perhaps warming up to the idea of being closer

you can even expand further on this with wolfwood's status as a victim of the narritive by watching how all the gungho guns are picked off one by one (besides livio) including knives and wolfwood because thats vash's whole reason for not just giving up and living a quiet human life as eriks, wolfwood (and knives, and the rest of the gungho huns) dying can be read as vash losing his need to be a monster, and while it pains him to see his partner and brother die its like that inhuman part of him - or the need to use it - dying too, which can also be seen in his hair turning black, and whos still there by the end when his hairs fully black and theres no threat forcing him to be a monstrous angelic saviour to the world? meryl - his humanity. we dont really see much of him living as human (such as allowing himself to grieve, recover, love, eat, sleep, form bonds, laugh, smile, be happy) before the series ends but i love that it lets us fill in the blanks

anyway uhh TL;DR wolfwood brings understanding and comfort in vash's inhumanity and meryl reminds him of and encourages his humanity

#whoops sorry i just woke up #trigun #vashmeryl #vashwood

[loversj0y]

am i the only one who has a boiling hatred for fanon ghostbur?

Like--- I'm neutral about canon ghostbur.

But i really really hate how so many people went as far as saying that Ghostbur was all the good parts of Wilbur.

That is just so wrong---- ghostbur has the good memories, but not all the good parts. it just drives me nuts.

ghostbur wasn't good for c!tommy or anyone coping with wilbur's death

it wasn't his fault, but people need to stop depicting him as they do

ohohoho i specifically waited to get to this until i had my laptop because i love me some character analysis! so. lets talk ghostbur!

disclaimer: these are opinions, i didnt write the character, this is just how id analyze ghostbur and audience portrayal of him

so something i think people dont note about ghostbur a lot is the fact that he is not wilbur in a much more real sense than people realize. something that revivebur kind of touches on but people dont really note (in my opinion) is the way the memories and your actions during memories actually shape you as a person. ghostbur could never be all the good parts of wilbur because without the negative memories, he could never have knowledge of how he can be good in negative scenarios, like being good towards tommy in darker times. this is one of the biggest things that makes ghostbur not healthy for the characters around him, and why wilbur being revived is so important to wilbur's overall character arc

ghostbur is the image of wilbur if he never dealt with significant problems, never caused problems or engaged in them, because he only has good memories, he's never seen himself in a negative situation (think to how ghostbur reacts to philza telling him fundy wants to be "adopted" by someone else (i cant remember who at the moment))

when people tell him of his own negative consequences, he literally cannot react in a way of genuine remorse. he feels guilt because he learns that the living version of himself did those things, but he cant actually give any apology that would be beneficial to anyone involved. ghostbur cant apologize for something he cant remember doing because he doesn't know why he acted in those ways.

we can contrast this with when revivebur tries to later apologize (im thinking particularly to fundy) and how when fundy asks why he did those things, he tells him about how he wasn't well mentally. even though fundy doesn't accept the apology (in a very. drastic way), revivebur can actually acknowledge his own motivations, which allows him to actually have a chance as being forgiven.

ghostbur doesnt know any of those motivations, which is why his character is unhealthy. he is literally a ghost of the man he once was, so even though people want genuine answers, before knowing he was going to be revived, they had to realize that ghostbur is basically a punching bag for them to push their issues with c!wilbur onto because ghostbur cant actually respond in any meaningful way in terms of remorse and forgiveness.

also, as for the audience portrayal, i think people got very caught up on the "sweet ghost boy" image rather than what he actually is and how he actually affects the characters. he literally haunts them and reminds them of all the trauma c!wilbur gave them, while knowing that he can't actually answer for any of it because he doesn't remember hurting them

its a very famous philosophical argument (i believe by kant) about the concept of "if someone has no memory of committing a crime, can they actually serve time for it?" because if you have no memory of doing something, can you actually learn from and grow from your experiences?

because ghostbur cant. and thats what hurts the people around him so much. people like c!tommy and c!philza who geniunely care about c!wilbur and want him to be okay know that ghostbur is not that answer because he can't grow from memories he doesnt remember playing a part in, so it hurts to see someone you love be constantly stuck in place of never being able to grow and never being able to answer for all the things you want to ask.

ghostbur is so important to c!wilburs arc because he reminds people not to seek justice on those who can't answer for it. some people actually recognize this, some don't, and some just avoid him like a plague because it hurts.

#mar answers #ghostbur #character analysis #dsmp analysis #ghostbur analysis #anon :3 #i love character analysis so much #i have so much more i could say on ghostbur #but my thoughts are so jumbled that i'd need to create a whole character essay on the philosphical concepts behind his character #dsmp #c!wilbur #warden shes out again and shes cwilbur posting

[bigassmoth]

Dazai Osamu does not have a breeding kink with a longterm s/o. Hes got other ones though

R18 below

He doesnt have a breeding kink. Osamu doesnt have any interest in having kids, reminding him of it during sex would probably a turn off. Kids are annoying and fragile and he would fuck them up too quick.

To Osamu theres nothing sexy about the image of you pregnant, that just means you are now creating new life (barf) and your body is expending energy and resources to do so.

While Osamu is very possessive, he doesnt view pregnancy and children as a way to have access to you. Theres no "youre mine" aspect in it for osamu just because you carried his progeny- he would actually think that the relationship was even more precarious because of course the child will come first.

He practicess his obsession with you in other ways. Bites and hickies on your neck and chest, vibrators held under the hood of your clit or to the slit of your dick, coaxing orgasm after orgasm from you until you are lax against his body.

"You are so sweet like this. I could keep you here forever- I should keep you here forever." His words are honey and sin. This is typical roleplay- him having you cuffed and displayed for his use over hours. But when he says things like that he means it. "If someone else tried to do this to you I would kill them", "if you can make yourself cum by riding on my thigh then i will let you outside again", "im going to borrow your lipgloss, youre not allowed to wipe it off no matter how ticklish you feel. I want you to feel tingly and sticky all day, knowing that i will lick it off when you get home."

He purposefully teases and annoys you so you scorn him in public-anything to get his name on your tongue. When you do sometimes snap at him with an even-toned "Osamu..." as a warning to stfu, he is smug and puffed like a pigeon. For you he can play the part of an obedient guard dog

You arent the only one accessorized with leather, dazai loves a leash and collar on himself. Maybe even more than when its on you. Pull his leash, run your finger between the leather collar and his skin, fidget with the gaurish bright pink [Y/N]'s heart shaped id tag. He always melts under your praise and attention but this creates a specific kind of fire in his gut. If he is your beloved pet then its his job to protect you, right? No one else gets to see you vulnerable, no one else gets you obey your commands. Not that he always obeys you anyway- you scold him and put a hand on his shoulder to push him off your body. You flex the leash away from you, not hurting him but making clear your demands. He doesnt budge, continues to pull apart your outfit and plant slobbery kisses on your skin. "Please, pleeeaassee~? I have been lonely all day without you. Havent I been a good boy? Dont i deserve a reward?" "A reward for what? You havent done anything." "Hrm, boo. I watched you all night you know."

He jokes about being praised for his dedication. Dazai doesnt actually expect any favors from you just because he brought you pastries for breakfast. He will complain and dramatize as per usual but knowing he was the one who filled your belly or made you smile is enough reward. You shower him with affection anyway, he soaks it up like a sponge.

Maybe you decide to indulge him, he will have plenty of ideas. "I have always wanted to see if I could get you to cum just by playing with your nipples. Ah- it will take a while though, lets see how hard I can get them." "Suck me, just the tip. I want you to be between my legs licking my cock for as long as your jaw can stand it." "No clothes today, I dont want any obstructions when I touch you."

#dazai osamu x reader #dazai osamu smut #dazai bsd #bsd smut

[factorialsotherfandoms]

a couple prompts

bagi and empanada, baking

archivists, late night

bonus: arthur and joui, cooking

Bagi and Empanada, two characters I dont think I've written much before, being cute! And thank you I'll save the other two for later in the evening, or perhaps tomorrow <3 this is the fluff option!

"Here you go, Empanada, could you gently shake this for me?"

Bagi hands her daughter the bowl, sieve full of flour carefully balanced atop it. She has already added the sugar, weighing the whole lot at once, but the other ingredients still rest on the side.

Empanada takes it gleefully, sieving a little too hard but not enough to spill. Leaving her to it, Bagi squints harder at Niki's recipe book; she knows how to make cookies well enough, but Empanada had been very specific about wanting to make Niki's.

And, oops, the flour was supposed to go in after the sugar and butter were already mixed together. Its... probably fine, the sorts of cookies Bagi used to make with her own parents were made by throwing all of the ingredients in at once, so she doubts it will be too disastrous.

It might not make the right cookies, but it will still make cookies.

With a steadier hand than her uncertainty should allow for, Bagi cuts the butter into small chunks, measuring it up as she goes. By the time she has done Empanada has triumphantly set the bowl down, the flour and sugar sieved thoroughly. There is a little flour on her cheek and a lot on her apron; Bagi drops the butter into the flour and turns to grab a cloth.

When she turns back, Empanada is eyeing the bowl with a frown.

"What's wrong, Empanada?" She asks.

Empanada wipes her hands on an already dirty apron before plucking her notepad from her pocket. Bagi gives her daughter a moment, and is greeted by a page reading "Mama Niki mixed the butter with the sugar not the flour".

"These cookies are special Mae Bagi cookies," she quickly explains. "They'll be like Mama Niki's cookies, just with out own little twist."

Empanada grins, hurriedly flipping the page and writing out her excitement.

Crisis adverted.

"Do you want to rub the butter into the flour, or shall I do it?" She asks.

Empanada hesitates, before rolling up her sleeves. Just before they hit the four, Bagi manages to grab and wipe down both hands. Then, she beats an egg as her daughter does her best to mix it all together.

Both of them can tell that the texture is not what it is supposed to be; Bagi hurriedly adds the egg, sprinkles, and chocolate before she can be judged.

Thankfully, Empanada is more than happy to take the spoon and mix everything together.

"Be careful of your wrists," Bagi reminds, grabbing a tray and covering it in baking paper.

Once Empanada is happy with the mixture, Bagi lets her pick out some cookie cutter shapes while she quickly finishes off the mixing. It is not especially good mixture for shaping, but Enpanada wanted flower cookies and so Bagi will do her best; she rolls it out and Empanada cuts the shapes, and then everything goes in the oven.

Standing back up, Bagi is handed the notebook again. In it, Empanada asks to be allowed to go prepare baskets for everyone. Bagi helps her down from the counter, watching her run off to find things even as Bagi starts on the washing up.

Twenty minutes later, they have a batch of lopsided, oddly textured flower cookies. Bagi can only see their flaws, but Empanada is delighted as she sorts the still-warm cookies into the baskets all decorated up for each of the other households.

Of course, they both taste test first, and leave some for themselves. Bagi... thinks they might be a bit sweet, but Empanada giggles happily so perhaps they are a success.

It's when Empanada takes a fourth cookie that Bagi decides to intervene.

"Go get your coat, and we can make some deliveries," Bagi smiles at her.

Almost immediately, Empanada runs off. Bagi checks the oven is off, throws the baking paper in the bin, and leaves the last few bits of washing up for the evening.

Soon enough, Empanada is back. Bagi helps her with the buttons and in carrying the rest of the baskets, and they set of on their latest little quest.

[All I could think of was making easter cookies and Em in a cute little special easter bonnet and dress carrying baskets of cookies around to all the other islanders, Bagi there also slightly dressed nicely but with her big muddy boots. So it doenst have to be easter cookies, but please imagine.]

#qsmp fanfic #qsmp Bagi #qsmp empanada #fluff

[uselessmicrowave]

Hi,can you do a matchup for tfp(and-or)rid (and-or)tfa.(whatever you feel like honestly,even if it's just one of the above)

I am a fem with mid length thick dark brown very wavy hair(borderline curly).I have big brown eyes kinda round and almond shaped at the same time.I love exercise so I am relatively fit.My face is a bit rounded(big cheeks) with some angles.I am very pale but have a lot of moles one or two in my face but most in my arms and torso.I also have this weird birthmark(a tag in my one ear).In terms of fashion i like darker clothing with an occasional dash of pink since it's something that looks good on me.Flared pants,jean and leather jackets,leather bags from when my grandpa was in the army bcs they are functional and stylish(also they still look brand new) custom made bags with rock bands and a bag that looks like a duck(i like ducks).I also like custom made shirts with jokes regarding my personal interests (books,series ect...) and my messed up sleep schedule.

At first glance I am a bit reserved but if I am made comfortable I will open up(i kinda choose the people I will open up to).I love sarcasm and very dark humor.I will joke around a lot and I want to encourage people around me to be happy. I deeply love learning information in every form.I study physics because I love astronomy and I want to become an astronomer but I am also a big history/archeology/mythology nerd.In my free time I love learning new stuff(psychology, law, history ,random facts ect...),reading,working out and listening to music(fav song:soltitude).I like art a lot,drawing,reading about it,going to museums and exhibitions.I also love going out on nature and on all sorts of adventures but I dont have the right person to do that with.I deeply love nature and the sea since I grew up in an island.(I dont know if it helps but I am an intj)

I have clear goals in life,I am very ambitious,patient,curious and diplomatic but still have a bit of a nihilistic approach to life(in a good sense,to fuel questions about the world around me).

As I said before I can be quite reserved and appear as cold but I am a very sensitive person,an extreme overthinker.I feel insecure because when I get too comfortable/excited my voice gets really loud,I get all giddy and I have been told off about it enough times.I dont know how to receive a compliment or acts of friendship/kindness because growing up I had very bad experiences in school.However I like to be there for people and I want them to feel good around me.I like helping a lot by solving problems and being kind but I hate myself for it because I feel like I am showing weakness (but once I realise someone is a friend I am THERE no matter what)I also am the "I told you so" kind of friend but I am not judging(quite the opposite) .I deal with anxiety and I get lonely around people but I dont let it affect my social life,I really push myself out there no matter what and I always push myself to get back on my feet and keep going after bad experiences because we only have one life and we have to make the most of it.

I also am a very calm even during arguements,until someone crosses a line and hell breaks loose.

Sorry if its too long but I usually get carried away with requests,i hope its okay(maybe this it why only once in my life I got a request done by someone😂)

Hello anon! I’m matching you up with TFA Prowl and TFP Knockout + Breakdown!

Prowl

You can’t see it when you first meet, but he has heart-optics when he first sees you.

Prowl will often offer to go see the ducks in a park pond and feed them with you (even if it isn’t technically allowed to feed them).

Loves the way you dress, reminds him of bright flowers in a dark forest.

He’ll try to help you with straightening out your sleep schedule.

Appreciates that you will give him his personal space. He’s also very shy to touch, so instead of both of you being very embarrassed, you’ll sit close to him while meditating.

KO+BD

It’s alright that you feel adverse to touch, but that’s their primary love language and they feel bad for leaving you out if you don’t join in cuddling.

Breakdown also has a pretty dark taste in humor, so you’ll reflect on that and joke about things going on in the war.

They always fuel into your giddiness, never ever shutting you down unless it’s something very serious.

Knockout overthinks a lot of things, playing into more anxiety. If you spend some quality time with him though, the worries will slip away from him. You could be doing anything with him, so long as it’s in an upbeat mood and with you.

They give you so many compliments and when you respond with confusion or adversity they know something’s wrong.

#micro matchups #prowl #tfa #tfa prowl #tfa x reader #transformers animated #tfa prowl x reader #prowl x reader #tfp #tfp breakdown #tfp x reader #breakdown x reader #knockout #tfp knockout #tfp knockout x reader #knockout x reader #kobd x reader #kobd

[ot3]

hey, any tips for staying in love with a series youre making? youve been working on quantum merit for 2 years now i think? any time i get an idea i just have it in the back of my mind that in a couple weeks im going to lose interest, let alone actually go through and start working on it. finishing soemthing is a distant dream. your art is amazing and a huge inspiration for me (is creativity infectious? bc thats how i feel whenever i read qm) so i was hoping maybe you had some insight. thanks <3

over two and a half years at this point actually! crazy! lacking the ability to follow through is a problem i've long had in life. i started drawing QM to try and curtail this. the trick isn't actually to stay in love with a series you're making, the trick is to learn to make things when you don't necessarily love it.

for me, the entire point of doing something operating on this level of self indulgence and experimental technique was to enable myself to churn stuff out even when i think everything i am doing is absolute shit, which is extremely extremely frequently. for long-haul projects you have to be willing and able to work on them even when you think all of your ideas are bad and all of your work is bad and not only is this the worst thing you have ever made, it is the worst thing anyone has ever made. the way i try and get through working on stuff when this is how i feel is that i remind myself i am not special in any way shape or form. everyone else in human history has had to make a lot of bad stuff before they get the privilege of making good stuff. this is allowed to be mine.

another thing that really helps is making sure that the process can be enjoyable even without good results. sometimes even when i hate everything i'm doing in terms of Substance, the act of just getting to draw something feels satisfying enough that i can make myself do it. this goes for all art, i think, not just long projects. if the Process is something you force yourself to sit through waiting for the end reward of a finished product, you're probably never going to be a functional artist. if you don't love Making art and you only love Finishing art you'll quickly find you don't make or finish much of anything.

additionally, i think an important part with long hauls like this is to never, ever look at the finish line. if i keep drawing the amount of stuff i have planned at the rate i have been drawing it, i will be at this for several more years minimum. thats an entirely overwhelming and terrifying thing to think about, and dwelling on it makes me freeze up and want to quit while i'm ahead. so i try not to ever think about actually finishing it. i have no idea if ill finish it i dont even have the slightest fucking clue what my life would even look like in the five years this could take to finish because it already looks nothing like it looked like three years ago. so instead focus on progress. if you think about finishing something you'll never do anything, if you think about just making a little bit of progress you can look back and suddenly you have over 100 full color pages. one foot in front of the other

i would also feel completely insincere if i did not mention how much all of the kind words people have had for my comic have helped me in finding the motivation to continue! seriously, it means so much to me that people like it. external motivation is not the be-all end-all of anything, but i suggest finding at least one friend who is willing to be your hype man and make them talk you out of being insane when you hate everything youre working on. when i reach the point where i literally like can't even tell what the pages im working on look like anymore i send them to my friends and make them all tell me that these are very normal looking drawings.

best of luck with your future endeavors anon i hope any of this is helpful! its an honor to be considered inspiring in any way

#Qm

[richardsphere]

Leverage Log: the Lonely Hearts Job

Well with a name like that, im expecting this to either be about con-artists cheating people on E-harmony, or a legitimately tragic story about love and/or loss...

---

Ok so Rich man arrives with armed goons (heck of a way to make a fist impression) and is crying within 2 minutes of the episode starting... I've said before that i want to see more of the marks' humanised so this promises to be an interesting episode. Nate: "There's no evidence of wrongdoing, She left you" Sophie (to nate): "thats harsh" Wellesley the fourth: "no it isnt".

This is a guy who knows how it looks, understand that it looks that way and acknowledges it openly. Its nice to see us go from last episode's overly naive Hurley to one of the more competent clients we've seen so far. "Whatever you want... its yours. Just find my wife".

I wonder whats going through Nate's mind in this moment. Here's a guy he's been scouting as a mark begging to be taken as a client...

Gut feeling: The second wife (the one who is missing) was actually the type of golddigger it looks like, but accounting for episode name. Its gonna be one of those "the mask grows to fit you" situations where they actually fell for the guy.

---

So Hardisons analysis implies this guy is like, legit as clients go. He's inherited old money not new money, which is the difference between "evil billionaire CEO" and "Born with privilege, gonna use it how I can". Basically: His great granpa would've been a Leverage mark, but he himself is a legit philantropist.

Meanwhile missing wife may in fact be a black widow. (luckily this client has his own goonsquad to protect him, so we dont need to leave Elliot behind to protect him)

---

Parker extremely annoyed she's not allowed to steal any of the rich folks' jewelry at the auction. The Boys deciding to have an auction-shaped dick-measuring contest.

Hardison wins the bid, we are reminded that one of Sophie's aliases is a duchess.

Ok so its an entire army of Sophie's.

Need to fight the ringleader, "pick a fight with Hardisons date". Well she did what you asked her to!

--- "I promise next time, i'll use the word argument instead of fight." Clear Comunication! If only people IRL would learn this lesson.

And once more the little Parker moments "what's a Hohe Minnie?", she's consistently the only member of the Young Thieves who takes an interest in the other people's jobs in the cons they're running. She's definitly being primed as Nate's eventual replacement (wether permanent or temporary).

---

Nate's pajama's. Sophie is loving the idea of a con where Nate has to "pretend" to wine-and-dine her.

I agree with Elliot, the moment it turned out they were grifters, the bet was off. But also, like that we once again get a nod at his cooking skills. "do you want me to teach you about the wines again?" "thats hurtfull and presumptious... but yes."

--- I love the way that Elliot punching the guy out is framed as a shot, good transition. Elliot bribing the guitarist, photographers commentary is great. "I picked you", such a simple statement, Every other member of the group was recruited by Dunevich, but Nate brought Sophie.

---

They found the wife. Suprisingly she isnt dead. (Meredith seems competent enough to tie off that loose end, and i think she could've exposited on the similarity to Nate falling in love with "The Duchess". But then, without recovering the wife Nate doesnt get to have a Favor for use in the season climax)

Seeing the gifts... Im 100% certain Elliot improv'd the guitar as well, that wasnt actually a Nate plan. Just Elliot.

Final tease with Latimer, he's a bit too much of a nothing-character to be truly intimidating, which means either the showrunners are making a mistake somewhere, or he's about to take a big fall to sell the credibility of the guy who he just called. Wait.... i just got a brainniggle. The story he tried to spin to Nate: "Someone stole a guy's patents", thats the same lie used in episode 1 of season 1. This in the same episode that had a reminder about the difference with Sophie and the other members of the team (on the subject of how they joined the team)

Is Latimer working for the Episode 1 mark? Or is my brain just doing that "i've connected the dots" meme?

Guess i'll see in time.

#leverage season 4 #leverage

[aleesake]

each time i find myself arguing with him, i'm reminded of mom. she's never shy of telling me how stupid she believes guys to be. in unison, he and i lift our feet, and when the sun hits our shins and it's rays penetrate pores, i allow mom’s preaching to be heard through me. “you boys don’t know anything, do you?”

“i guess i dont,” with my mouth forming an 'o' shape and brows that draw together, i shoot him a cynical glance. i don't really mean to. it's just that i didn't like that answer at all. before long he laughs, blaring blatantly the same way someone would when they're tickled at their armpits. my eyes open wide. the sound he makes is tall and heavy. all brain activity falters, because i can't seem to grasp how a boisterous noise like that comes from the sweetest, softest face in the world. a big sunbeam wells in my heart. i can feel my heart squeezing, trying it's hardest not to burst. to top it all off, he’s teasing me, right? what a prick! still, 'don't get angry at him', the sunbeam murmurs. once he's finished laughing for all the birds and bugs who've gathered around us to hear, a hand flies up to rest on his belly. pant, pant, pant, he goes. trying to calm down. "your face," he half-chuckles, a remnant of the amusement from a few seconds ago. apparently, i was so funny that it's taking him a while to recover. i'm puzzled, "what's with my face?" at that, his brown eyes turn into crescent moons again, and i too am infected with his laughing-sickness.

through a fit of giggles he starts up again. "when you're angry," my eyes try to follow when he points a finger right above my lids. "your eyebrows start wriggling like a caterpillar!"

#17

[hikari-ni-naritai]

different anon but em, i know you said a lot about how you don't deal with emotions in a very "human" way, but i just want to say i thought that was very poignant, tasteful, and mature advice about grief and relationships. it's difficult when you have to personally accept that a relationship just wont work. i struggle with it a lot but your words help remind me how important it is to shaping a good life for yourself

im glad you think so anon. its really important to be able to do whats right for you, even if it means hurting yourself or others in the short term. you really only get the one life, and its a waste to let yourself suffer when you have other options. i hope you can keep making a good life for yourself anon

the thing for me is like, people i think tend to believe its human to feel emotion, and allow yourself to feel emotion, and then this translates in the reverse to 'its inhuman to force yourself to stop feeling emotions before they leave you naturally'. and like, maybe thats true. but i dont think i could live any other way. i am really really bad at regulating the emotions i have. i cant let them sit inside me without doing anything about it or ill go insane and lose the ability to focus on things. ill just lie in bed being Melancholic. and like, i LIKE doing that, melancholy is a good emotion, but i cant live like that. so i have to get rid of them. yknow? anyway love u anon <3

[thewaywardbruja]

.: I'm Back! :.

( This post is mostly for my twitter followers but I can be long winded here. :)

Hey Guys!

I just wanted to make a post explaining why I have come back to twitter.

I know I left without the intention of coming back. And that was my plan, but I got away, I went to Reddit, to Mastodon, and I just didnt feel home there, I didnt feel history there. Welcomed, yes of course I felt that, but for some reason something was always driving me to come back to twitter.

So I made accounts on Mastodon trying to find myself, who I was and I just couldnt find a place I felt safe, my support of the police became such a product of contention that I couldnt handle it. Two instance owners told me I wasnt allowed to show my support of the police or talk positively about them. That shocked me, and I immediately left.

You want an open and safe space but dont allow the people who join - to talk about things that theyre passionate about, even if its a controversial subject isnt okay with me. You dont like the police? thats fine, but you arent going to stop my voice, and support.

So, I left - I moved around a few times, but making an account / new account on Mastodon is harder than it sounds, and when you do you lose everything and I got bored of that as well.

I just, I never felt comfortable in any of those places. I have been super active on tiktok, sharing my spells and divination, and my witchy journey, and once the weather gets nicer I have so many more ideas!

So I made the decision to come back to twitter, because thats where I have always been. Thats where I have always been home.

The new witchy me is here, and she is stronger than ever.

I am so proud of how far I've come - and the things I have learned in the last few months.

--

How have I been?:

I've been okay, working crazy hours, hanging out with my husband, and working on my practice, shaping it into something I love.

Been reading books, and studying my college stuff.

Still struggling with grief, and depression that comes with losing someone in your life, and every day I am reminded of my grandma in some way, its so hard some days. I still break down with grief. I miss her so much.

Its definately been extremely hard.

I know shes with me, and thats all that matters.

--

White, my spirit guide and I have gotten extremely close, and thats been wonderful and amazing, and I love taking time to spend with her, doing tarot or divination. I often find myself talking to her now, just out loud, or when I get a thought, and its nice to know shes there, listening. <3

---

So yeah, I'm back. And I'm not going anywhere, do not fear <3

#nature witch #witchy things #divination #tarot #spellwork #forest witch #spirit guide #white wolf #witchraft #return #healing #growth #happy #grief #depression #struggling

[twodimecastle]

fifty bucks & six months.

spencer reid x gender neutral reader new relationship, secret keeping nonsense, 4.5k words, ao3 a/n; turns out i love writing texting fic but tumblr destroys the formatting rip

zero months.

You smile conspiratorially, extending a pinkie towards Spencer and he gives you a skeptical look.

“You know the odds of being found out immediately are-” he starts, but you cut him off.

“Astronomical, I know. I know. But don’t you think it’ll be fun to see how long we can push it?” you wheedle, not caring that your voice sounds more like begging than is strictly dignified because seeing the way Spencer’s nose crinkles in amusement at your heavy handed persuasion is too adorable to pass up. You scoot closer on the couch, tapping the end of his nose with your pinkie finger, letting him catch your hand between his as you continue “I think we’ve got a good shot at hiding it for a little while. It would be like a game.”

Spencer draws your captive hand to his lips, brushing them across your knuckles and watching fondly as you forge ahead in your campaign to persuade him, enjoying the show and the attention too much to tell you he’s already on board. Your eyes are shining with the prospect of the caper, and you’ve made no move to take your hand back from him, and Spencer’s pretty sure he’d be more than happy to sit with you in this moment forever. “I mean-” you go on, gesturing animatedly with your free hand, “you’re like-a really good liar when you want to be. And everyone else always forgets how good you are at it.”

He snorts at that and the sound makes you light up, eyes tracking the arch of his brows, the warmth in his soft brown eyes, memorising the way he looks like this; utterly unbothered, completely at ease. It might be your favourite version of him, but that race has always been a tight one with no clear winner in sight. You have lots of favourite versions of Spencer. Twisting your hand in his, you tangle your fingers together, savouring the way you feel his thumb glide delicately along your skin and the unhidden joy in his face at the simple show of affection.

Time to play your trump card.

“$50 says we can hide it from the whole group for at least six months. If everyone figures it out before then, you win. But if not everyone has worked it out by then, I win.”

The mischievous shine in your eyes is irresistible, and Spencer smiles, disentangling one of his hands from yours to extend his own pinky finger.

“You’re on.”

The words barely make it out of his mouth before you’re colliding with him, pressing your lips to his.

two months.

“So, how long has this whole thing been going on?” Derek’s question catches Spencer off guard, and, based on the way he can see you freeze in his peripheral vision, takes you by surprise as well. Sliding into the driver's seat of the SUV, Derek continues “I hope you didn’t think you were gonna be able to keep me in the dark for long, pretty boy. You should know better than that.”

Following mechanically after him, Spencer takes the passenger seat, trying to frame his next statement as carefully as possible as he hears your door close and the car start. “We were-going to tell you guys-” he begins uncomfortably, glancing back to you for support, but you look just as on edge as he feels. “We were just gonna-keep it to ourselves for a while-before telling Hotch and everything-” he tries again, the mounting tension levering his shoulders higher and higher with every passing moment, but then Derek just laughs, shaking his head.

“Hey, I’m happy for you, kid. For both of you.” He spares a look at you in the back seat through the rear view mirror, and you can feel the tension in your jaw relax, the furrows in your brow straightening out at the note of approval in Derek’s voice. “I’m glad you two finally figured it out,” he says, fondly, and you laugh.

“I bet Spence we could keep it from you guys at least six months,” you explain, reaching forwards through the centre console to link your pinky with Spencer’s, and the touch of your hand releases the last of the tension he had been harbouring as he covers your hand with the other one of his own. He knows Derek clocks the motion, filing it away in his mind somewhere, but he doesn’t care about the scrutiny so much right now. Not when your hand is so warm and comfortable in his.

Derek reaches for the dial on the radio and flicks through the channel, thinking about something, and as you watch, a slow mischievous smirk spreads across his face a moment later before he glances first at Spencer and then at you.

“I’ll tell you what,” he says to you, and Spencer can feel a familiar grin tugging at his own lips as he watches a plan take shape in his friend’s eyes. “I’m happy to sit on this information for a while for a cut of the winnings from whichever one of you comes out on top.” He snorts good naturedly as he continues “I have my own bet to win with Prentiss, so if you two help me win that one, I’ll cut you in too.”

“A quid pro quo of sorts,” Spencer says slowly, and he feels your fingers tighten around his, as you snort softly, and he knows instinctually you’re grinning the same way you always do when you’re winning a game. “I think we can do that.”

Derek grins, turning the music up as he nods, eyes on the road. “Then you two love birds have got yourselves a deal.”

two months and two weeks.

PG: youre not as slick as you think you are ;)

YN: ???

PG: ;))))))))) you should invest in some concealer for your work bag sweetness or tell the good doctor to pay more attention to whats visible in your work clothes

YN: oh my fucking god wait how do you even know thats how that happened

PG: im all knowing and all seeing im like the omnipotent goddess of the fbi

YN: derek blabbed

PG: he sang like a canary but also im an omnipotent goddess im also totally clued in on the whole bet situation with em so for the low low price of every single juicy detail about how this adorableness went down you can buy my silence :)

YN: im getting derek decaf coffee on all coffee runs from now on >:( traitors dont get caffeine

PG: darling sweet angel i need deets all of them like immediately

YN: >:( fine ok so. after that case down in georgia a few months ago? the weird one? with the creepy mother son thing?

PG: omg yuck pls dont remind me im here for the CUTENESS not the MURDER

YN: sorryyyyyyy anyway so spence was like being super weird about it all on the plane and whatever but he was doing that super annoying thing where he ignores it and says hes fine so everyone leaves him alone

PG: YEAH why does everyone here do that ALL THE TIME its SO annoyingggg

YN: ikr its insufferable and like super not subtle ANYWAY. spence was being weird and whatever and i just. refused to let him sulk on his own or whatever like i could tell there was something bothering him and so after work i insisted that we were gonna get like shitty diner food or whatever and watch a movie and he knows better than to say no to me

PG: smart boy

YN: so we got fries and milkshakes and then went back to his place to watch a movie and he was still like weird and silent and like brooding yknow? but whatever just figured hed talk about it when he was ready so i put on a movie and offered to make popcorn and then he was just staring at me and he looked so SAD and TIRED and i thought id done something wrong like the poor guy looked like he was gonna cry and i was panicking over fucking popcorn and then he says ‘why are you always so nice to me?’

PG: oh my god hes like if a sad victorian orphan was actually a triplicate phd holder

YN: i was SO thrown off i was like spencer. spencer were best friends. ive been forcing you to hang out with me for years now why do you THINK im being nice to you its bc i care about you asshole and then. like after another million years after letting me sweat it out over whether hes about to cry for like fucking years the asshole grabs my hand and says. i shit you not. ‘you know im in love with you, right?’ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PG: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YN: anyway hes my boyfriend now :’) dont tell anyone tho gotta win the bet

four months.

Lingering by the elevator, you glance around at the uncharacteristically silent office building, waiting for Spencer to leave the bullpen. The sound of his footfalls drawing nearer makes you smile and you mentally applaud yourself for suggesting the two of you remained behind after disembarking from the plane, taking advantage of the manufactured privacy to take the same car home, back to his apartment.

When he sees you waiting for him, he can’t help the soft fond smile that tugs at his face, as he reaches for your hand, sliding his fingers into yours with a gentle squeeze, the quiet of the building allowing him to indulge in the show of affection. You return the squeeze, leaning your head on his shoulder with a yawn and as he presses a fond kiss to your temple he’s rewarded by a sleepy hum of approval from you that sends a rush of quiet joy shooting through him.

“At least we won’t be sleeping in hotel beds again tonight,” you say, voice weary, and Spencer nods as he shuffles you into the elevator. The doors slide shut and the elevator starts to move and in the moment of absolute privacy, you steal a kiss, tilting your chin up to catch his lips with yours, revelling in the soft huff of surprise he lets out, even as he smiles against your mouth. Even after months, the simple act of kissing Spencer still feels new and thrilling somehow, like you can’t quite believe it’s something you’re allowed to do.

His nose brushes yours and he breathes “unless something big comes up, we get a sleep in tomorrow too,” and the way you beam at him sends his heart racing in his chest, unable to look away from the fondness shining in your eyes.

As the two of you exit the elevator and make your way through the Bureau car park, you tuck yourself against his side, wedging yourself under his arm with a happy sigh, eager to get yourself horizontal and asleep as fast as possible. Spencer brushes his lips against your temple again as the two of you close in on his car, almost free and clear of the office when a voice behind the two of you brings you up short.

“Reid?”

Spencer is reacting before his mind catches up, turning on his heel towards the sound of Hotch’s voice echoing through the parking lot, conscious of the incriminating way you’re still tucked against his side, even as his brain is rifling frantically through any possible excuses for the current circumstances.

“Hotch-” you step away from Spencer, cheeks flaming, not wanting to chance a look at him. “I-we-thought everyone else had gone home,” you trail off lamely, trying your hardest not to balk under Hotch’s ominously impassive scrutiny. A second passes, then another, and the short silence feels like months, or years even as the three of you stand locked in a stalemate.

“I take it the two of you would prefer to keep this under wraps?” He asks, finally, and it registers with Spencer, somewhat belatedly, that Hotch’s tone isn’t admonishing. It isn’t enough to dissipate the tension coiling in Spencer’s muscles just yet, but he spares a glance at you as he nods, and a moment later, Hotch gives the two of you a curt nod of his own. “I’ll tell you what,” he says, a shade of irony colouring his voice. “If you two fill out the paperwork for in-team relationships for me, I’ll keep it to myself. I understand privacy is hard to come by in our office.”

The words take a while to fully sink in, and you’re conscious that you’re standing there blinking and gaping at your boss like a bemused fish for a good few seconds before you’ve composed yourself enough to say “absolutely, sir. Of course. Thank you.”

Hotch nods again, heading towards his own car, and as he passes the two of you, a brief smile flashes across his face.

“Congratulations, you two. Get some sleep.”

four months and three weeks.

Spencer isn’t sure how late it is, but he knows you’re not asleep yet, the faint glow of your phone screen casting faint distorted shadows across his room as your free hand rests lightly on his chest. In the dark blue twilight of his room, the space feels undefined and dream like somehow, the line between his mind and his surroundings blurry or indistinct somehow, and as you huff out a near silent laugh at something on the screen in your hand, a thought rises to the surface of his thoughts like flotsam on an unwanted tide.

The more clinical part of his mind notes the autonomic response in his body, the way his heart lurches unpleasantly in his chest, heart rate rising with an influx of cortisol through his nervous system, automatically rifling through ways to control the anxiety response. Age old instinct surges forwards, starting to push his spiralling anxiety down out of sight so as not to bother you with it, but then your hand shifts infinitesimally on his chest, fingers curling in the soft fabric of his pyjama shirt, and for once his body is miles ahead of his brilliant mind, your name is leaving his lips before he’s really aware of it happening.

Your gaze flashes up from your phone at the sound of his voice, soft and hesitant, and you let the screen go dark as you set it down. You can feel Spencer’s heart hammering against his ribs under your palm, and your brows knit together in concern as you shift closer to his side, tracing gentle circles over his shirt with your fingertips, the repetitive motion intended to soothe, though you’re not sure if it’s for his benefit or yours.

“Yeah, baby?” You ask softly, working hard to keep the rising worry from your voice. After three years of friendship and almost six months of dating, you know him well enough to sense when his propensity for overthinking and catastrophizing is slipping out of his control. You can feel his chest rise as he inhales sharply, whatever he’s about to say cut off by second guessing, doing nothing to pacify your concern. “Spence? Is everything okay?” You ask again.

“This-bet-hiding our relationship-it’s-” he trails off, throat tight as he rolls onto his side, facing away from you, and smushing his face into the pillow, already wishing he hadn’t said anything. You’re the kindest person he’s ever met, but offering up this kind of raw insecurity feels like pulling teeth. Even if it’s you. Especially if it’s you. He doesn’t know if he’s ready to find out if you care about him enough to stay when his racing mind gets the better of him. The pillow muffles his voice as he says “never mind.”

You feel your own heart rate tic up in response to that, matching the wild beat of Spencer’s that you could feel under your palm only a second ago. “Baby, talk to me. What’s on your mind?”

He shakes his head, face still hidden in the pillow. “It’s stupid.”

He can feel the rush of your breath on his back as you sigh, and your voice is almost achingly patient as you say softly “it’s not stupid if it matters to you.” There’s a long pause, and you press yourself against his back, settling close and letting your hand slide over his side to rest on his chest, the heat of his skin sinking into yours even through his thin shirt. In spite of his height, he feels so small as you wrap yourself around him, drawing closer, trying to reassure him without yet knowing what he needs to be reassured of. “Spence?”

“Are you ashamed of-being with me? Is that why you want to hide it?” The words are almost whispered, the sound almost lost against his pillow and your heart sinks, plummeting faster and further than if you’d dropped it off the side of a skyscraper. You should’ve known he might worry about that, should have realised it might have felt that way. Remorse rises hot and bitter in your throat and you swallow it down, trying to steady your voice.

“Spencer. Sweetheart. No. Never. I could never be ashamed. I love you. I’m so sorry.” Your arms wrap more tightly around him and you bury your face against the crook of his neck, the tension you can feel in every inch of his body making you feel more cruel and short-sighted than you already do. “I’m sorry I didn’t realise it might feel like that. I could never be ashamed of being with you, Spence. You’re my favourite person.” He takes the kind of shaky, shallow breath that comes with trying not to cry and your heart breaks a little more as one of his hands slowly moves to cover yours where it rests against his chest, just over his heart.

As his hand rests over yours, his thumb strokes lightly along your knuckles, and he knows you know him well enough to notice the way his hand trembles, just a little, because then your hand is shifting against his, turning to clumsily tangle your fingers with his, holding tighter to him as he tries to collect himself, drawing in a deep, shuddering breath as his eyes squeeze shut. He can hear the contrition in your voice as you say softly “I’ve never really liked having people know everything about what’s going on in my life. And I love our friends but-something like this, that’s so-special? So new? I wanted to be able to keep it to just us for a while.”

“I’m sorry.” His voice comes out a little shaky, scarcely more than a whisper, and it’s more than you can take as you pull back and gently force him to roll over to face you. He’s not crying, but his eyes are glassy and you recognise the fight to keep the tears unshed in the tight set of his jaw and the hard line of his lips. Leaning on your elbow, you lift your free hand to gently smooth out the furrows of his brow, letting your fingers linger along the planes of his face.

“Why are you sorry,” you ask gently. “You don’t need to be sorry, baby. Not for talking to me about things that bother you. We can tell everyone else tomorrow, if you want? We can call off the bet. Derek will live. If he’s got a problem with it I’ll turn all his shirts into crop tops.”

He can tell the joke is a last bid attempt to make him smile, to ease his fear, and it works. In spite of the anxious weight in his chest that feels like it’s pressing him into the mattress, Spencer laughs weakly, meeting your eyes, and he watches as a relieved smile breaks across your face, releasing your lower lip from where you’d trapped it worriedly between your teeth. The unmitigated affection that floods into your eyes renders him momentarily breathless as he takes in the moment. You’re still here, still trying to take care of him. Just as kind and steadfast as ever.

“No,” he says eventually, wrapping his arms around you, pulling you down on top of him like a living weighted blanket, letting your warmth chase the bulk of the tension from his body and luxuriating in the way you curl into him, one hand sliding into his hair. “We shouldn’t call off the bet. We still have to take Emily’s money, remember?”

Your sleepy laugh is the last thing he hears before his eyes close and the feel of your body wound around his lulls him to sleep.

five months.

SR: Can I talk to you about something?

DM: you dying or something? that’s a really fuckin ominous text to recieve out of the blue

SR: I’m not dying, why would that be what you assumed? I just have a question.

DM: just a figure of speech but what’s up?

SR: It’s about your bet with Emily. What’re the terms for it?

DM: wym?

SR: What exactly did you two make the bet about? What needs to happen in order for you to win the bet?

DM: does this count as collusion?

SR: Technically yes, but calling it collusion implies a certain degree of illegality.

DM: whatever anyway the terms i made with em were that you’d make some kind of move before your birthday but she reckoned you were gonna need some kind of near death experience to do anything about your crush why?

SR: I’m just making sure I have all the information.

DM: what’s going on pretty boy? you planning something?

SR: Maybe.

DM: not a helpful answer reid is everything good?

SR: Everything’s fine. We’re just figuring some stuff out. Nothing to worry about.

DM: is there something you’re not telling me?

SR: Don’t worry about it.

five months, three weeks and six days.

In the chaos that was the scramble from the briefing room to the jet, you haven’t yet had the chance to speak to Spencer about the outcome of his most recent thesis defence panel. By the time you’ve got a moment to breathe, the jet is underway, coasting across the country towards Montana, the whole team settled in for the six hour flight. You corner him in the tiny kitchen area of the jet as he’s making a mug of mediocre coffee, fingers tapping out an absent minded rhythm on the countertop as the coffee machine whirs, clearly not paying attention to anything outside of his head.

“Hey, boy genius.” He jumps, whirling around, eyes wide with surprise, and you smile fondly. “So?” You demand, and Spencer raises an eyebrow in confusion. You snort, rolling your eyes as you elaborate. “Your defence panel. Did it go okay?”

You’re shifting your weight and fidgeting restlessly with the belt loops on your pants and as he studies you for a moment, it occurs to Spencer that you’re nervous for him over this outcome. The thought brings an almost giddy smile to his face.

“You know this isn’t my first thesis defence panel, right?” He says mildly, deliberately burying the lede, enjoying the way you scowl in irritation too much to answer your question right away, too enamoured with this display of concern on his behalf.

“Don’t be difficult, Doctor Reid. It’s still a big deal.” He just shrugs noncommittally, and you huff, swatting his arm lightly. “So did it go well?” You ask again, eyes narrowing as you try to dissect his microexpressions, trying to discern the answer he seems determined to keep from you for yourself. A few seconds later, he relents.

“I can now add degree number six to my wall.” He confirms. Getting degrees doesn’t hold the same rush of pride for him now, the accomplishment feeling somewhat less exceptional as he acquires more of them, but the way your face lights up with pride for him reminds him how special the things he’s capable of can be. You’ve always made him feel like more than the sum of his parts somehow, like something infinitely more precious than he always assumed he is.

“I fucking knew it. That’s amazing, Spence,” you say, chest warm and full with pride and love, and his almost shy smile in return is enough to make a decision for you in a split second. Your hand dips into your back pocket, drawing something out, and you carefully hide it from view in your palm as Spencer tracks the motion curiously with his eyes.

Your eyes are shining with affection and something that looks like mischief and the way you’re smiling at him is more than enough to divert his attention as you step closer, just barely noticing as you slip something into his hand. You’re dangerously, distractingly close now, and he’s conscious, if somewhat distantly, that neither of you is concealed from the rest of the team, scant meters away in the seating area of the jet. But you’re smiling and close enough for him to feel your breath on his face and suddenly your lips are on his, and even after nearly seven months of being able to touch you like this, it’s enough to make him forget everything else as he melts into the contact, savouring the warmth of your skin and the faint smell of your shampoo.

You pull back a second later, the kiss over almost as soon as it started, but it’s enough to attract attention, and you can hear a belated ‘oh SHIT’ from Emily in the main cabin of the jet. In your peripheral vision, you can see money changing hands, your friends scrambling to react, but you don’t look at them, choosing to enjoy the bemused, affectionate look on Spencer’s face as his brain catches up to the events unfolding around the two of you.

“I was tired of keeping it a secret,” you say fondly, loud enough only for him to hear. “You win.”

Blinking in confusion, he finally tears his gaze away from yours, fingers uncurling to reveal the fifty dollar bill you had pressed into his palm right before you kissed him. The penny drops and he snorts with laughter, shaking his head in half hearted indignation as his other arm loops around you, pulling you in, letting you rest your head on his shoulder, hiding your face from the rest of the team as he kisses your temple, revelling in the way you wind yourself around him in response.

“I was gonna do this in like two days. I wanted you to win,” he murmurs against your hairline, and he can feel your faint laughter.

“Too bad, baby. I’m used to getting my way,” you say, pulling back to steal another quick kiss before peeling yourself out of his arms with a wink, turning to face the onslaught of ‘care to fucking explain that’ and ‘I fucking told you so’ from the rest of your friends, tugging him with you by your joined hands.

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid/you #spencer reid/reader #reid #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds imagine #dr spencer reid #my writing #spencer reid fluff