#i dont know where they are going but they gonna be late

[tondw0o]

Getting lost with the King under the mountain 🌄

#poor thorin #frustrated bilbo #happy kili #apologetic Fili #fanart #the hobbit #bagginshield #thorin oakenshield #bilbo baggins #fili #fili and kili #kili #i dont know where they are going but they gonna be late

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

why is job hunting.

that's it that's the post

#this is both radicalizing me even more & absolutely harshing my mellow #why. do i need. to communicate with a 'virtual assistant'. to apply at hot fucking topic #you know? maybe i Dont need to apply there. who wants em #everywhere is like you need This This and This #oh look an entry level job! aaaand i need a thousand certifications #Excuse Me Where Do People Who Have Done Nothing With Their Life Thus Far Apply??? #why do jobs exist. why cant we all just vibe huh #each application feels like a new death sentence #cant wait to work myself into the ground for a company that views me as nothing but an easily replaceable part! yeehaw! #cant wait to sacrifice my personal time / hobbies / wellbeing for a nine-to-five 5 days a week job i hate! #absolutely unprompted #this world we live in is miserable and infuriating and i want to SHAKE PEOPLE #fucking!! look outside!!! value yourself!! the company is not your family!! they are not worth dying for!! we are all worth so much more!! #gonna go out in the middle of a field and SCREAM #humans are made for art and kindness and for enjoying the short life we're forced into #why make an already doomed existence even worse huh. #why subject ourselves to that. we deserve better. our pasts deserve better. our futures deserve better. #sorry sorry im just. ARGH. this world!!! this life!!! could be so good!!! #but late stage capitalism rampant corruption among Many Other Issues said noooooooo #happiness is illeeegallllll #what if i BITE you. huh. what then. die #every time i sit down to apply i have to actively Not Think About It or i'll delete all my tabs and stop before i start #we as humans are not built for this life... we did not evolve proclivity for kindness and art just to stress ourselves to death #over silly jobs that do Not require the level of dedication we are forced to apply #abolish the 5 day 40+ hour work week... decrease the horrifying amount of funding given to cops and the military... etc... #i think i need to go lie down for a minute im feeling Too Much Anger at the absolute state of things #so happy to be an american. (sarcasm sarcasm sarcasm)

[shadyhouse]

i keep getting rejected from job applications and i have no idea what im doing wrong. i wish they would just tell you WHY you're getting rejected and ways to improve. its a guessing game that ends up making me feel even more worthless than i felt before

#like i have been nonstop applying for jobs for the past YEAR and ive gotten TWO INTERVIEWS #one of them i got kicked out of near immediately bc you werent allowed to be late to the job and i mentioned i take the bus (mistake i know) #and the other one i had to turn down bc they wanted to pay me $11/hr despite me already having the experience they needed #and i just reapplied to an old job i had a couple years ago that pays well but i got an instant rejection #not to mention all the other jobs ive been applying to that dont even TRY to contact me before rejecting me #and then my current job where ive been pretty much explicitly told i'm never ever going to get promoted and i keep getting my hours cut #for reasons beyond my comprehension like i dont know what im even doing wrong bc no one will TELL ME #JUST TELL ME WHAT IM DOING WRONG #WHY AM I BEING BAD AT LIFE. CAN YOU THROW ME A BONE PLEASE. #IM TIRED OF SURVIVING I WANT TO THRIVE #IVE BEEN SURVIVING MY WHOLE LIFE IM JUST EXHAUSTED I WANT TO FEEL GOOD ABOUT SOMETHING I DID FOR ONCE PLEASE #Sorry for venting im trying to hold back a breakdown and i have to leave for work in an hour and i just need to shout into the void about it #even applying for like medical based jobs hasnt worked out. you wont even let me be a RECEPTIONIST? #i feel trapped at my current job. even my coworkers have been telling me that ive had my position for wayyyy too long and im gonna be stuck #like tell me something i dont know!!!!!!!!!! tell me how to get a better job!!!!!!!!!!!!! bc im struggling in every aspect of my life!!!!!! #whoever cursed me its working i hope youre happy. the haters love to see it

[icewindandboringhorror]

boy in silly sitting positions compilation

#cats #I especially like the last one where he just has one single paw poking out of that box for some reason lol #I still have costumes to post and like a billion other things.... grr... constantly failing at staying active on social media aughh #I think because currently my Main Focus is on trying to get my game done and stuff.. which basically just means sitting and writing all day #so there's not much to post about. Though I know the Good At Social Media thing to do would be to post about the #writing and share progress and talk about the game and characters or whatever to try to build interest or something but that is SOOO weird #to me.. I could maybe get it if it was like a tiny tiny discord groupchat of playtesters with like 5 people in #it.. But something about talking openly about things before they happen is weird to me?? Like presumptuous feeling or something #''oooo guess whats gonna happen LATER!!!'' like.. how do you know.. what if it doesnt. what if you dont finish it. what if its not the way #you think it's going to be. what if something changes. etc. Like I literally avoid movie trailers and game trailers for the same reason ghj #Even if it's not ME doing it it just feels... weird.. Maybe it has to do with my OCD and how I just don't like talking about ''future'' #things in Certain Terms. Like if I was going to say ''Oh yeah sure. come over to my house in a few months''. I would have to follow it up #with like ''HOPEFULLY you can come over to my house in a few months'' or 'They'll come over in a few months MOST LIKELY''. Because just #stating that something will happen matter of factly takes for granted like.. what if somehting horrible happens and I DONT have a house #in a few months? or what if something bad happens to me. or to the person coming over? I can't ever DEFINITELY say with 100% certainty #that one could ACTUALLY come to my house in a few months. anything could change. So I have to allot for that in my phrasing. hbjjkn #There are a lot of situations where you're expected to just Assume Things but for some reason that bothers me. My brain literally does not #even Assume the most basic things.. like how do *I* know that just because it's someones birthday that they want to be wished a happy #birthday? what if they dont? everyone is different and has different preferences. I should check with them first. or wait until they public #ly announce that theyre accepting birthday wishes. I have to allot for all 5034859069 rare possibilities at any given time and never take #anything for certain. etc. ghjbjhbh.... ANYWAY.. I have been feeling a bit sick lately as usual.. but still slowly making progress on some #things. Moslty I need to edit costume photos. make sculptures. and work on the game. Going back reading some of the old writing from like #2018 and suprisingly I don't have to change that much of it? In fact I like it mostly. so that's good. I would be very interested if I were #playing the game myself. Though that doesnt mean much since my tastes are so niche lol.. #Still really want to clear some of my million tumblr drafts as well... alas and aughh and ooughh and so on and so forth. Between all of my #evil appointments other such things...why cant I have one billion dollar to retire into relaxed hermit artist life of no stressors.. bleas

[lewishamil10n]

my brain is so full of fuck tonight

#sth sth feeling unfulfilled. i know its only middle of the night thoughts but ive been so low lately. im not where i wanted to be #and i regret my career choices n i regret not standing up for myself but also i dont blame myself bc younger me was v much a people pleaser #and i just didn't wanna upset n disappoint my parents in any way . they're so proud of me when they tell ppl what i do and on the inside #im just cringing bc there's no joy in it anymore n im not even 30 n wont be for a few yrs yet im not SUPPOSED to feel this way #my job situation isnt good n all i can do is hope n pray im able to go abroad because if i cant im literally afraid i will give up #n also i regret not standing up for myself to my mum n stopping sertraline . i wonder who i would be today if i had continued meds #n now there's a v good chance im gonna need more medications for what seems like undiagnosed n severe adhd #n i am just. so fucking burnt out n no one around me gets it !!! 'why arent u happy' im just not! im not! and idk what to do about it !!! #ugh sorry im just venting #tbd #remy.txt

[knaveofmogadore]

You ever have a customer with a legitimate problem but they're such an asshole that they extinguish the embers of empathy within you with their insolence?

#messages from knave #her name is [redacted] and I've dropped from being her champion to wishing she'd lose internet #in about 4 hours #i felt. SO BAD. for this woman last night. only for her to call and scream at me #when the office phone turned on this morning #she's like 'the weather shouldn't have effected anything' when it was raining half this week #this same woman blew her top that people were late when a fucking tree was blocking the road #i tried so hard to keep feeling bad for her cause we (my boss) genuinely screwed up at her house #but she's made it extremely difficult to keep being nice to her because she's begun inventing problems #like for example #i say 'the electrician is gonna be there between 9 and 10am' #she says 'youre disorganized and confused because he said he cant be here at 9. why are you terrible at your job' #i send her a SCREENSHOT where the electrician says he's going to be there around 9:30 #she says 'thats not 9am' motherfucker that isnt what i said. He gave a timeframe of 930ish to 10am and that is what i told you. #between 9 and 10 #lord in heaven #i dont know why she hired us again she hates one of our techs enough to remember him by name and ask he not be sent #she's never said a nice word and threatens to sue us constantly like WHY DO YOU WANT US TO WORK FOR YOU IF YOU HATE US #YOU'RE PAYING. GO ELSEWHERE #and i tell her last night 'just so you know we're not done #'we have to come back #and what does she do but fucking call me at 8am yelling about why shit isn't done. ma'am. i told u it wasn't finished #im going to lose my mind #can't even make her my boss's problem because he threw a temper tantrum at the implication something was his fault #and fumbled their text chain so gloriously last night that he wont even share what he said to make her want to sue him specifically #I don't even WANT to know what he said because it'd give me an ulcer thinking about it #i need another job before this one gets sued into the ground #also im sick because my partner works retail and thats about as bad as having a kid in daycare

[the-kipsabian]

.

#the thing about being so bad at writing is that when you also do it very irregularly about shit nobody else cares about #you drive yourself into a hole where absolutely nothing motivates you cause nobody misses your fics #also ive been made to feel bad lately about choosing fic writing over drawing so its. been a really fucking bad brain time #idk. i dont feel like a contributing member of the fandom. like it doesnt matter at all what i do i dont provide anything of any value #i hate it here and once again im just. sad and done but im useless with anything so what does it matter and who cares #its so hard to explain. i just dont feel like im doing anything meaningful #and i know thats not an actual indicator of the quality of my work but. try telling my garbage brain these two things arent related lmao #sorry im just. im just useless. i dont just feel that i know i am. with anything i cant do just piling up and the list getting longer i jus #maybe i should finally give up writing too. would make thinking about everything so much easier. nobody would miss it #and nobody can convince me otherwise about that #im gonna go cry in my cocoa now goodbye #night is an absolute mess on main

[slimeciclecock]

Forgive me for the person I'll become when Missa releases all his new music <- delusional

#been on a missa kick lately which I've never really shared #been getting reeeeally into some of his music and lowkey getting a crush on him 😳🥰 #and like. who cares if its been a month or smth. im still very obsessed with that stream he did where he showed off music he was working on #like his voice is insanely good and im going crazy like. to this day i still dont know if he plans to release all that or if that was just- #-scrapped music. with how excited he was when showing music i dont think its scrapped? but idk #dont wanna get my hopes up but. gah #also im just gonna come right out and say it. missa sinfonia is fucking hot as hell #he's so insanely hot and attractive and the music makes him hotter and he's so funny and grhgrgjfrh #ive been a little bit a lot obsessed lately. oh my god how are you so damn attractive #ive kinda told myself that if i ever get a partner the first thing i would do is show him missa and make them fall for him like i did #he's like. handsome like a guy from my culture. does that make sense #missa sinfonia has malay guy swag #i think i can say that here yeah. ive spoken my mother tongue language here #sorry im reaching he just reminds me of someone irl. but also. missa is hot asf i need someone to shake hands with me #frickin. schoolgirl crush on a funny mexican youtuber #ive watched more missa videos than i thought i would and its embarrassing how giddy i would get watching like #i am in my 20s but i am resting my chin on my hand like 🥰 #brother I've fallen someone pull me back up i cant do this today

[jpegdon]

over the years ive noticed that a lot of fandom discourse is just people pointing out something that's part of a character's personality but sometimes exaggerating it a little bit bc why not, n then people getting mad at others for that n calling it "out of character"

#sorry if this post sounds so confusing #if i dont immediately write my thoughts like they sound in my head then ill quickly forget what i was gonna talk about #but anyways #some people will really go ''he would not fucking say that'' when in fact he has said/done that but it was like once #n when people have fun around the idea of that character doing more of that other people get mad n say its wrong #idk am i making any sense here???? #tbh i dont care bc i doubt anyone ever reads 100% of my posts n im just talking to myself here #i basically just made this post to say that lately ive been getting so tired of fandom spaces in general #and yeah i know fandoms are always like that theres always discourse n shit happening #but i kinda learned to not give a shit about anything anymore? #if a lot of people dislike a certain trope or type of character n constantly shit on other people for liking that im just like ''ok?'' #okay i dont know where im going with this anymore #post ends here

[possiblytracker]

damn. i really thought i already had the "youre probably never going to see any of your uni friends again after you move out this really and truly is the end of the most vibrant and healthy irl social life youve ever had. and likely will ever have again" breakdown done and shelved but i spent today hanging out with a few friends from my course who are leaving this week to say goodbye and i dont. know how to process it completely. im trying to make the most of everything while im still here but every interaction feels so bittersweet it's genuinely gnawing at me

#vent/ #this is probably not the last time i will have this crisis either. right up til graduation. itll keep happening over and over again #i had a miserable social record all through secondary school im not exaggerating when i say university literally taught me how to #make friends and open up to people in places that werent the internet (or having it pried out of me by more enthusiastic people) #and now its like. ah. right. thats over. where do i go from here. #late june through early august is gonna be completely fine i just need to not lose my mind until then #but after that.. well i am not having a great time thinking about it #living on my own seems miserable but i dont know anyone in This country well enough to make roommate plans #and. well i will stop here before i talk myself into a spiral but man. this is why my social energy is still through the floor #i love my online friends to death but the past few years have taught me everything is so much better with a varied diet as it were #i will not Die if i have to go back to 24/7 discord recluse im very grateful to have good friends in my puter #but god. i will miss Seeing people. very very badly #im sorry i know not responding to messages seems counterproductive rn but. idk i have a lot of wires crossed;; #ill work it out eventually #im the cheetah threatening to go insane in captivity i need someone to put one of those dogs in my enclosure/j

[whoslaurapalmer]

twice this month we've been in the car when some other car decides they either do not see my mom's car or do not have to obey proper driving rules and almost run right into us and. I love car rides. I love being in the car. I love riding around and looking at stuff. but every time we get into the car now I am so uncomfortable and tense and very scared and it is not cool

#my body will not unclench. wahoo #it's not like the first time this has ever happened but that one two weeks ago was like. wayyyyyyyy too fucking close. #I MEAN I DON'T THINK WE WOULD'VE. UH. BEEN INJURED. CAR WOULD'VE BEEN SMACKED INTO THOUGH. CAUSE THAT GUY DIDN'T YIELD AT A MERGER #and then today this car in the other lane kept swerving back and forth #which was. why would you do that. very scary bc you dont know where they're going next. #JUST KEEPS HAPPENING KINDA FREQUENTLY LATELY AND I DON'T LIKE IT #and like. my instinct in these situations is GASP AND FREEZE i have no reaction instinct but also I'm in the passenger seat. #but that's. a reason i will not drive like idk if i will acquire that reaction ability to not just Freeze #and try to make myself as small as possible. #and then i feel guilty that i don't drive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that my mom has to do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i feel really bad!!!!!!!!! #and I'm like. scrutinizing every single car that drives by like ARE YOU GONNA BE DUMB. ARE YOU GONNA TRY AND HIT US. #AND I CANNOT STOP BEING TENSE. #YEAH YEAH I KNOW WHAT IT IS.

[dreamingofstarslight]

I am melting into a puddle like the wicked witch

#i speak #i need this heat to STOP #and i need more cold days #and i need time to stop for a few months #ughhh this about to be the worst few months #ive got death anniversaries coming up and birthdays for those dead ppl coming up and my birthday #and siblings birthdays and ugh these seasons already fuck with my emotions #and now theres these things and this heat and my lead teacher fucking sucks as a person #and my work mom is quitting this month and its just going to be one thing after another #and its legit gonna be a thing where i am gonna be late some days bc of how overwhleming this is going to get #kinda feel like that song ‘wake me up when september ends’? yall know the one #but its more like ‘wake me up when october begins’ #i think I’ll be okay being a person in october #last year i didnt even really remember that it was my birthday/my graduation anniversary bc everything kind of fell to the wayside #and i dont mean to sound any bit bratty about it but it fucking sucks that even as an adult i cant find happiness at my birthday/graduation #anniversary bc literally smack dab jn the middle of those dates my grandpa died #so its like i hate feelimg mad about it but also what do you mean im probably never going to be happy on my birthday? #god it just sucks #vent #sorry #just ignore this literally

[hikeyzz]

now tell me why they would send my sewer slide risk ass back home WITH OPIOIDS when they saw the fresh SH wounds all across my stomach??? oh you donked up doc lol

#the opioids are for my kidney infection which is why i was in the hospital #but one of the doctors saw my sliced up stomach and could have said something or requested a psych eval on me #i also told them that i don't like to take opioids unless i reallyyyy reallyyy have to #and she still said 'i'm just gonna send you home with some just in case :)' #she said 'you dont have to take them :)' but now they are in my house #i just follow the drs orders you know i don't even think about it until i get home and i go 'fuck' #i realized it is Not a good idea for me to be alone in the house with opioids #esp with where my head has been at lately #but now i have to figure out how to be normal and okay about this #fun new challenge try so so hard to stay alive when every bone in your body is telling you not to !!! #hikey

[bunnyb34r]

I'm so burnt out my dudes

#explains why the past two weeks ive been at my limit/only have like 2 spoons to deal with after work and by god do they go fast #like the tolerance i have for anything is so low lately and im sure it's autism burnout :/ #and idk what to do ab it bc i can't bring up the tism to my therapist bc oh youre not autistic. bitch i mask well ive had to for 20 years #straight! and i only talk to you for an hour once a month so like... how would you know #anyway i have 0 tolerance for like anything anymore and it's so frustrating #and sometimes i give into that and will seek out shit that will make me mad so i have SOMEBODY to blame my anger on #i dont interact other than reading/lurking but i sit here irl bitching to myself like 'yeah that happens bc youre a little fucking brat' #and most of the shit is stuff id roll my eyes at and scroll past in a good/neutral mood! but the burnout brain is like no theyre doing this #on PURPOSE they're like this to piss me off specifically. and it's like... how do i channel this energy into a non harmful way when #im so fucking burnt out? aside from stepping away from social media bc id seek it out elsewhere lmao trust me id pry ab my #cousins bc they are so fucking stupid and rude and the 'perfect' ones to latch onto and bitch ab bc my brain needs something to #justify this rage and anger and it's so stupid but sometimes that anger feels good? idk it's stupid but like i said i never interact #directly bc im not an asshole lmao im not gonna like call my cousins and be like lol yeah thats all your fault xoxo hope that helps bitch! #marquilla #idk where i was going with this lmao #this barbie has autistic burnout!

[thegreatbeyondmp3]

bro it sucks so much to have to go to work when you're sick

#i dont wanna go but literally if i miss another day they could fire me 😬 #i don't have covid at least according to the home tests but like. i still have a cold or something #and i can't call out because our time is so restricted #and its not even the worst attendance policy i know of but it still sucks to have to work around #esp coming from my last job where i could take off literally as much time as i needed to basically whenever i needed/wanted to #added on top of the fact that i just don't want to fuckin be there anyway #and that im scared im gonna pick up covid bc my immune system is currently weakened #ugh. i have to get through tomorrow and the next day #and then im off again #and then im on one more day before im back off again #so i will have a rest day again pretty soon at least #after being off the last three days #(the first was my legit day off but it was very busy and few days before that were the roughest of a tough couple of weeks - #the second i took off bc i had to babysit and. being completely honest. i watched all of fellow travelers thr night before. and esp after #how bad a time id been personally having lately. all the suffering and the loneliness and the romance just hit me so hard #tbh i just felt like i deserved a break and i could do some work at home to balance things out - #third day i woke up feeling sick and coughing pretty hard and just feeling generally miserable. which continued for most of the day. #but with less coughing until now bc im laying down) #i just wish i could take an extra day or two to actually kick this 😭 #sorry this is so long i can get locquacious when im tired

[nerdie-faerie]

I have got to get worse at my job cus no way can keep letting them rely on me like this

#work tag #got on shift on Sunday and my manager pulled me aside when i clocked in to say thank god youre here i need you on front theyre an absolute #mess over there theyve got orders waiting nearly twenty minutes i need you to figure out whats going on and whip them into shape i know you #can just get all those order out right away just put them where you want them so you can clear that screen. and i did sort it in under 5 #despite there having been 3 people on front before i got there which is more than enough people to deal with just 6 orders and yet #and today several people called in sick and one of my managers asked if i wanted some extra hours i said depends when she was like just #until ten tonight which is only an extra hour later than i finish but ive already expressed im not comfortable finishing at 9 for only a #8 hour shift cus its an hour walk back and thats far to go by myself in the dark but i agreed anyway one of my other managers then asked if #i was okay to get home if i stayed that late cus obviously there must be a reason i dont usually stay that late i was like im only walking #so it doesnt really matter but it is gonna be late to be walking back but its fine manager then comes back again and asks if i could stay #til 11 ive only done an 11 once before when they were understaffed again and she did the same but i was wary to agree to the 11 cus thats #reeeally late to be doing such a long walk by myself again other manager is like you dont have to agree to anything youre not comfortable #with then argued to the manager that ive got to walk home and i shouldnt stay however im thinking it over as i make my break and approach #the actual shift runner for this evening and suggest i stay until 12 instead cus thats when my work bestie is finishing and if we finish at #the same time i can then walk back with her instead of just doing the 10 and honestly i need the hours but i shouldnt be so relied on tbh