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possiblytracker · 5 months
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courtesy of the enablers in my notes, here is my Flamingo Wisdom gained from the catch today
first of all, a flamingo separated from its flock (as it has to be when you are moving that beast around) is kind of like a horse, in that it will freak the fuck out if a leaf so much as moves in the corner of its eye, and it really really really wants to break its stupid twig legs by any means necessary. and you really cannot let them do this, because they will probably die, but they are stronger than they look and despite their insane 70+yrs captive lifespan they appear pretty fucking determined to spectacularly remove themselves from this mortal coil. if they cannot kill themselves, they will simply attempt to kill something else; if you do not personally clamp their beaks shut using your entire hand they will reach around with their long stupid tube necks and start swinging without hesitation. they bite, and will rip out hair and earrings and whatever else in reach they can get their fucked up beaks on. several of the flamingos were covered in visible blood stains of unknown origin before even picking them up, and half the day was spent wondering if one had been attacked and was doing all this bleeding, but as far as i know nobody ended up finding any which left way more questions than answers
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to transport a flamingo is a two-person effort, because they are so long and so desperate to fuck up themselves or whoever is around them that you need at least two sets of hands to pull it off safely. one person holds the flamingo facing backwards tucked under one arm kind of like a set of bagpipes. with the other arm you have to hold both legs apart, because if they are allowed to lash out you get fun accidents like "vet tech pummeled in the balls with full force of both flamingo feet at once, advised to leave premises". you have to hold the legs facing downwards, otherwise the circulation gets cut off, as they are physically incapable of pumping their own blood down there without the effects of gravity. the resulting effect looks kind of like you are holding a guitar wrong, or slow-dancing in a really fucked up way. it is also objectively impossible to place your hands on the bird in a way that you will not get pissed on.
the second person has to stand just behind the first and supervises the head, holding its beak shut as shown and supporting the neck in a comfortable position. some flamingos do not Have a comfortable position and will just spend the entire time wriggling and trying to bite you, which you just kind of have to deal with. you also get direct eye contact with the beast at all times, which is. interesting and unnerving
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the only people handling them solo were the vet in charge of weighing the animals, the guy sticking them into the back of a van, and my boss, who stood in the corral chasing groups of them into a smaller pen for catching. every time a pair came to collect their next bird he would open the door to the pen, head in alone, you'd briefly hear the most fucked up cartoon fistfight-esque noises from inside, and about thirty seconds later he would reappear with an entire flamingo tucked casually under one arm like a football and just hand it to you. most baffling part of the entire experience, i think
despite the turbulence however they did make it safely to their new home :)
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possiblytracker · 5 months
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got trained to handle flamingos at work today helping move a flock to a new enclosure and i really really Really need to talk about them so badly. most fucked up bird on planet earth
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possiblytracker · 5 months
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on break again. Everyone feast your eyes on the swan goose
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anyone want to see the most fucked up goose I've ever seen
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possiblytracker · 5 months
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anyone want to see the most fucked up goose I've ever seen
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possiblytracker · 5 months
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<3
tbh i thought id have more to post abt when i got back but i am struggling to come up with anything more eventful than the goose i made friends with at my new volunteer job he was supposed to be an animal ambassador for a critically endangered species but he kept biting little kids so now he lives behind the scenes biting volunteers instead.and following me round the yard screaming
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^ savage beast who will not be placated by such meagre offerings as day old lettuce
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possiblytracker · 5 months
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tbh i thought id have more to post abt when i got back but i am struggling to come up with anything more eventful than the goose i made friends with at my new volunteer job he was supposed to be an animal ambassador for a critically endangered species but he kept biting little kids so now he lives behind the scenes biting volunteers instead.and following me round the yard screaming
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^ savage beast who will not be placated by such meagre offerings as day old lettuce
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possiblytracker · 5 months
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HMM i think... i am going to go ahead with plans to remake my blog
thought about it for a while and I just think it'd be nice to start posting from a clean slate with less baggage attached! over the many years ive had this blog i feel like i've almost sort of become beholden to my own ideas of what i "should" or "shouldnt" post on it, even though thats very much just in my own head. and I feel like a very different person to when I started it at 15, so it might just be a good time to do it. might just help me shed a little more lingering anxiety
BUT like I said before, this one isn't going to be deleted at all i am much too sentimental... I will probably transfer the url as well (unless i think of a REALLY good one) im possiblytracker til i die. keeping my sideblogs as well since I can move those. but thats all i got for now.. i will keep using this one until i have a replacement set up of course
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possiblytracker · 5 months
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finally released from the clutches of migraine what did i miss. oh god theres mesages
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possiblytracker · 5 months
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possiblytracker · 5 months
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coughs loudly. scheduling this post for slightly later today so i have time to get lunch and not chicken out before it goes up
firstly i gotta apologise for dropping off the face of the earth. in hindsight it was creeping up on me for a long time I just didn't think anything of it/had enough stuff going on to ignore it for a while, but ive been wrestling with pretty abysmal mental health that just kinda hit me like a truck back in august. i wont get too much into it but things just ground to a halt and in the span of a week or so it legitimately felt like i stopped being a Person- i just stagnated, felt like i lost the ability and will to do anything or enjoy things or create like i used to, all my energy went into keeping it together in front of my family, and it made me way too anxious and ashamed and guilty to want to show my face. like who would want to put up with my stupid bullshit, right (wrong! that idea just made me unbelievably worse and i regret it extremely, but my anxiety was going extremely unchecked at this time). i don't think i've ever been that depressed before and i didn't at all know how to handle it or begin to claw my way out
fortunately, a combination of getting exercise + touching grass regularly and new enrichment/hyperfixations to latch onto like an orphaned duckling are very recently kicking some life back into me so to speak. who wouldve thought. and now where i used to still feel stomach-turning dread and paranoia thinking about getting back on tumblr and discord a week or two ago, it finally feels like i can handle dipping my toes back in. i'm making this post first bc i know most of my friends will see it, and that feels less taxing than explaining myself a bunch of different times over and over and dragging it out, but ofc i will try and get back into conversation when and as i can (askbox and discord is still best to reach me if you wanted). i'm just really sorry, and I hope you can forgive me, for making you worry or otherwise
i'm not sure what to do from here (i'm considering maybe moving main blogs to a clean slate eventually? this one will still be here i couldnt bear to get rid of it, i've just had it since i was 16 there's Baggage attached) but i'll be trying to ease my way back into relative normalcy before doing anything big ofc. in the meantime i will be vaguely floating around here again. see you around and thank you for your time..
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possiblytracker · 8 months
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sorry ik posting conspicuous things abt how things are going instead of dming people back after a while of silence is sometimes considered a dick move i just. dissolves into wet pile
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possiblytracker · 8 months
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gods wettest saddest most pathetic creature wandering despairingly through long cold airport corridor to find exit after dropping off beloved friend and grappling with the realisation that this feeling is going to recur throughout the rest of their life forever and ever but maybe the incredible lifechanging love and companionship they have and will get to experience along with it makes it all worth it now and for the future. even if right now in this corridor it still hurts like a motherfucker
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possiblytracker · 8 months
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wgat the hell…. Birthday beast
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possiblytracker · 8 months
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on a lighter note look at this idiot
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possiblytracker · 8 months
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feeling normal (birthday in like 3 days that im not ready for) feeling normal (too artblocked and preoccupied to even think about finishing artfight and wrestling with guilt about it) feeling normal (-£600 in bank account) feeling normal (realised breaking my foot last year led to Lasting Consequences but cant see a physio abt my fucked up legs til january) feeling normal (has to learn to drive stick and the instructor is scary) feeling normal (stlil has no idea how to un-fuck social life after the great mental breakdown of april 2023) feeling normal (gross sobbing)
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possiblytracker · 8 months
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been dead for a few days what the fuck happened with artfight
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possiblytracker · 8 months
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call me possiblytracker BSc
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