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xseizure-candyx · 9 months

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*tries to be mean- fails*

Dan x reader

(Introductory chapter, thats all)

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the sun was bright, the sky clear and the breeze was cool, all this to say that i was having the worst day of my life atm. my dad was being the biggest dick head in the entire world and because he cant handle any kind of emotion or female at that he kicks me out in the blink of an eye, im sorry but im not a maid. i had to pack in a day, be out and hunting the next, and just yesterday was i approved to move into my new apartment, my own space that i can dominate to do what i want, i should be happy to be on my own at my big age of 21 but for some reason i feel bad for leaving an old man alone, but then again im not dealing with his yelling and commanding for any longer. at this moment i am moving in, i have to carry each, and every, LARGE BOX, up stairs and into my apartment MYSELF. i make my way back down to the moving van and so happen to see someone standing by it with two other people i don't know, i got a little anxious because i wanted to be a bit more on the down low but damn, three people at once. as i got closer i was able to register the people, a tall built blonde, an average sized purple haired woman and a short dark haired man. they seem friendly from afar but as i got closer and into their bubble the small mans energy makes me a little more on guard, i didn't say a word as i got closer because all i heard was the smaller man ranting about how no one was allowed to move in because its only ever an inconvenience to him and how all people are stupid and problems only come from new people. i just stood behind him and listened, by the time the other two noticed me but he was facing away from me, they looked at him and pointed in my direction. He was mid sentence when he glanced my way "OH, AND I SUPPOSE YOUR THE-" he abruptly looked me over and clasped his hands behind him and straightened his back "ooooh, you must be my new neighbor! im dan and this is my best friend Chris........and his wife Elise" he gestured to the other two people who were waving at me "hello, and welcome to the neighborhood i hope you're not moving all of this in yourself" Elise said, i smiled and introduced myself "its nice to meet you, im (y/n)". dans eyes haven't moved from my form at all but i act like i don't notice how weird he is to not hurt his feelings or embarrass him " uuuh, yeah. im kinda on my own but ill be ok" i smiled tiredly. Elise and Chris immediately volunteer to help me carry boxes into my house but i deny it to be nice, though i really do need help "dont worry (y/n) its not a problems at all we wouldn't want you to tire yourself out on your first day in your new apartment" Chris said. i smiled and looked at all of them " thank you so much, you guys are some of the kindest people I've met so far" i purposely didn't make eye contact with dan when saying that, and it caused him to to quip in " i can help, im nice too!" feeling bad i looked at him and smiled " of course id appreciate it, and maybe i can make us all dinner when we are finished" the blonde man with a box already in his arms snapped his head in my direction "yes please" and i giggled at that, hes funny and his wife is really sweet, i might want to consider a friendship, but dan is.... i don't know right now but we'll see.

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After placing a few things that need to be put in place, i sat chris elise and dan in the living room and allow them to pick what to watch and even play games, but dan was consistent on getting in the kitchen to stare up at me and ask questions every 5 minutes like a toddler. I give up and sigh "look dan if your going to ask so many questions then you might as well put on that apron and help" it was silent, but seconds later dan has a stepping stool pulled up next to me and is wearing a frilly pink apron, i giggled at how willing he is to help me all of a sudden, hes been quieter ever since hes first saw me, almost like hes thinking constantly but about what, its not like hes not enjoying my company, i show him what to cut and how to cut it and he listens, him helping is making the process quicker. We both go to grab the last tomato and our hands touch, his on top of mine, even though i did jump a little he didn't move away at first, as if he liked the contact, when he did pull his hand away he was furrowing his brows and blushing "I-I FORGOT I HAVE TO GO FEED MR MUMBLES" and ran through the door and im assuming to his apartment. 'hm....whats all this about now' I shrug it off and scramble to finish the pasta i was making and go to sit with chris and elise with our plates "hey wheres dan" i shrugged my shoulders and sat his food in front of him and elise and sit with my own "something about feeding mr mumbles, i suppose its a cat or dog but ill head over and give him his food later im hungry right now" and with that we all ate, and after we ate we talked and even played games, and when it was time for them to leave it was late, i walked them to their car and hugged them both "thank you guys for all the help, i couldnt have asked for a better first experience and i hope we can become good friends" i say and smile "well with that meal you just cooked us consider us buddies!!!" Chris said out of his window "yea well be sure to keep in touch and maybe we can help you seek out stuff for your apartment too!" Elise had quipped, and after all of our goodbyes they drove off. After i watch them drive off i make my way up stairs and back to my apartment, as im passing each window i stopped by dans because i heard what sounded like ranting but it wasnt like earlier, where he was angry and sporadic but more low and gentle, sounded like he was kinda disappointed or sad. An idea pops into my head, maybe hes just alone and doesnt like when he feels left out, so i headed to my apartment and got two slices of cake and his dinner and went to dans, i will share this cake with him and hopefully become best neighbors and even friends, maybe then he wont be so awkward, i knocked on his door and smiled for hospitality, but for some reason it took a short while for dan to answer. i go to knock again when the door is swung open and dan is standing there looking a little down, not sad but not too enthused either "hey dan....i noticed you missed dinner so....i thought id bring it over for you, also i was hoping we could share dessert and you know...talk, get to know each other?" For a split second fear was shown on his face and while his eyes darted around his apartment he wasn't looking too sure"i-i would be honored to enjoy dessert with you, its just- my apartment is a mess" and he held his door wide open in shame. i peer in with no visible reaction but holy hell was it cluttered, usually people with depression or deteriorating mental state cant clean or notice when its too dirty, they just dont process it the same. I frown dont at dan with sympathy "dan im not one to judge but have you ever consider asking for help, i mean im sure no one wants to see you like this" his eyebrows furrow and he clenches his fist "NO BECAUSE IM NOT WEAK I CAN HANDLE THINGS ON MY OWN" aah there it is "what if i offer to come over and help ill even make us lunch" i say sweetly, purposefully sounding cute, he groans and blushes, then fidgets with his hands "ok but......dont mock me or use this against me, ill ruin your life" he said the last part as a threat, i smiled

#dan vs x reader #dan vs fanart #dan vs #dan mandel #dan vs fanfiction

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roboyomo · 4 months

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MY MIND IS JUST INFESTED BY THESE TWO GUYS ATM RIGHT BEFORE BED AND IM SAD THAT I DONT HAVE ANY NEWER ART OF THEM I ONLY HAVE THE OLD STUFF I NEED TO DRAW THEM MORE AGAIN

okay this will turn into a quick rant about them so uh the first guy is Amor (real name Bao), who has an absurd hair length (perfectly laying on the floor) and he wields a human sized axe and he was originally the lead scientist and the founder of the laboratory of the clan in the lore (this will make zero sense but ill explain it all later at some point i swear) in attempt to change his negative attitude towards meeting new people, and help them with the discoveries, the research and the inventions at the lab only to trust one wrong person (its kenix his uncle) and literally have everything he built be crumbled into small pieces and now he is so shaken from the incident about how people dont trust him at all now that he almost changes as a person from this 21 yr old guy who loves science and tries to be more open to people to a guy who will be a killing machine once he will be blinded by his hysterical moments of anger, hating his body so much, thinking it is no longer his but a "monster's" to the point of upon seeing his own reflection in the mirror, he breaks it with his bare hands (he still tries to keep a facade of a great leader to try and regain the trust from society of the afterlife but the rumors about how 'dangerous' he is have already done great damage). amor can be immature with his jokes and stuff but he can be a totally caring and loyal person when treated right but no one except few people know what a real person he is, just an enthusiastic curious scientist at heart who wants to lead others into the bright future with him and the bright smile on his face but the anger and the grudges, and the hidden emotions and feelings keep holding him back from being able to finally heal

second guy is apollo who is a more opposite to amor. he is a calm and kind person (so kind that his kindness gets taken advantage off by the people he thinks he can trust but theyre pretty much using him for their own gain, except for amor and the other clan members, not lab coworkers)

even tho hes different compared to amors more high energy personality, he is amors best friend since childhood (since they were 10!!) and are pretty much canonically married (both are 21 yrs old physically). apollo and amor both founded the lab together promising that they would help others. After Amor's incident which is just the entirety of "Inspiration"s Peak Insanity story chapter, Apollo was pretty much the only one actually working at the lab but then he also got fucked over by the narrative (got cursed and while cursed and not even being in charge of his own body, killed the souls of his already previously dead parents and little sister, listen this is complicated but theyre all these afterlife human(?) beings that if killed, are gone into absolute nothing) and he was already sad enough about them, this only made matters worse as he started to think that he deserves to be dead just like them and how "he should be punished eternally for this sin". he makes a new routine for himself to distract him from his despair only to start overworking himself until he does not know about the concept of "free time". he also has this feeling that he has neglected this whole time but it is his wish to be loved and valued for who he is and not the sweet facade he is putting on but deep down he knows that this facade is who he truly is, he is just so lost in himself that apollo is not able to recognize who he actually is

despite their problems amor and apollo both have their own perspective "you saved me and you helped me so much i wouldnt be the same without you" view on each other since childhood and everytime they are able make me sad

#yomoposting #ocs #my ocs #oc art #i hope you people will understand how much these two mean to me and to each other in the future when #when i post about my oc lore more #these fuckers suddenly appeared in my brain in summer 2021 and they have always been there ever since #most of this doesnt make sense now but it will with more oc lore and mechanics posts #artists on tumblr #oc stuff

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wherestarsarestillasleep · 2 years

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returning the favor!!! do YOU have any particular thoughts on vlr u feel like sharing atm?

TIME FOR MY KYLEPOST

i dont think about VLR in a vacuum nearly as much as i do 999 but i most certainly have thoughts

every aspect of the person kyle is was calculated decades before his birth. bred like a pedigree dog every aspect of his environment constructed around him like a lab rat, literally hand-designed and grown in a lab for this purpose. his entire life is a step by step list, painstakingly behaviourally conditioned to end up full of a fester of resentment and anger and loneliness and despair in such a way to ensure he is willing to kill and die on what he believes to be (and what still is) his own emotion and conviction and turmoil, but it is a spur of the moment breakdown response the people he is lashing back against in rebellion set up for him. they made him like this very, very deliberately, they had to raise or rather fail to raise him in a way to make sure he'd become this person Sigma already met. They make sure he is someone who will hate this.

Sigma does this by not raising him at all but Akane, with this purpose in mind decades before he would ever exist, does this by showing up most of the way into Kyle's life giving him the first meaning he ever felt in his life and then taking it away again.

She lived with him for years. she had to be what she was for him, was there truth in it? does akane love him? does she care for him at all? is he nothing more than a tool to her? does the answer to that matter at all? not really. kyle believes she did. snake voice whether the devil actually exists holds no relevance. and kyle loves HER. as much as he can try not to, he does.

When he finds out what the ab project is actually for, what he's been working towards the last four years of his life he tries to blow up the entire facility and all of them in it. this is just a major step in what they have designed him to do. all his acts of rebellion and defiance are, unknown to him, just more preset points to check off on their list.

His own route he remembers who his father is who his mother is and his immediate responses are to commit murder and then pull a suicide bomber gambit test, again

well what would he have done if his unknowing father (cause like. sigma doesnt fucking remember bro) really did save him at the expense of his own and Phi's lives? what if he was met with proof he was loved, that his life did matter to sigma, and then was as a direct result left entirely alone having killed three of the 9 people himself? was kyle so certain this would never happen, he really just wanted vindication in his belief he is unloved to define the moment of his death? was that the real point?

And this is the moment he ultimately deliberately and most directly helps their plan. he does it anyway, he tells Sigma the code, delivers the message. he's disgusted by sigma and akanes plan enough he tried to blow up the fucking facility that encompassed the only world he ever knew and everyone in it but in the end at the point where he has to carry out his critical instructions, what he could have made a final defiance after Sigma saved Phi over him (and where Luna in parallel quite possibly couldn't ever refuse to do by nature), a chance he didn't know could have been an actual defiance they really didn't want him to do, he goes through with their instruction anyway. Im not sure what that says about him.

And what was it they told him about this moment? to lead him to organically destructively act it out and then recognise it as the point he was meant to deliver that message?

he Only exists and would only ever have existed for a plan he doesn't fucking care about. even if he may or may not agree with the noble greater good moral justification framing why would he care. he has no way to conceptualise it. it does nothing for him. he cares about what he has, but what he has is two people that lament his reality ever existed and he rejects the only chance for real solidarity he might have in Luna.

for someone who knew only one other human for most of his life, and barely saw that human, Kyle places an awful lot of emphasis on "humanity", it’s a word he uses several times over as synonymous with morality and compassion and rightness.

for all he shuns and for lack of a better word dehumanises Luna how different are they really? They're both designed and sculpted. They both had their thought patterns determined and programmed to behave in a certain consistent way. All for the same sole purpose. Creating just a chance at a superior, perfect, far more valuable world where they could never exist to be a part of. Where there was no need for them. They don't even have their own faces.

The way he talks about junpei and what akane told him about junpei the hatred of a stranger he's never met that she values far more than himself

i NEED him to talk to tenmyouji knowing who he is with full context for them both, there's so much ground there the futile grasps for their own agency the anger the cannot stop loving akane kurashiki no matter how much they Try to the you are a faceless representation of everything she cared about more than she cared for me. while she was the most important person in my world i realised there was someone more important than me in hers. the making meaning in a world and a life others have discarded as hopeless and not worth saving and just a stepping stone to a hypothetical you'll never comprehend and then finally then will she be satisfied? will it be worth it then? why can't it be worth it now, here. (why can't they matter enough to her for that.)

i fucking wish he was in ztd dude shifting him into a context he was never meant to exist in and seeing what he does with that and him getting to interact with the sigma that is Actually his father and an akane that has never met him and whose top priority is avoiding letting this world become one where he is ever born

#junpei you hearing this shit!?#kyle klim #🌕it was what i had now that i wanted.🌔#<- starting a kyle tag

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antique-forvalaka · 2 years

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Ok so, in light of recent events i think this meta i wrote after ep3 is relevant:

Imo at the very least Korn, who is always portrayed as incredibly cunning, should know that Porsche is very very unlikley to be the mole. I think Kinn should realsiticly know this as well of course, but he is blinded by emotion atm. Still, there are some very good reasons that point to Porsche being the worst candidate for a spy:

On a surface level Porsche is ill suited; he is too chaotic and thus always on some level critically observed and/or punished for his fuck-ups. Of course on this point one could argue that his seemingly unsuitability for laying low could be a red herring but

It makes no sense to painstakenly smuggle in a mole only to burn them pretty much immediately. It should be obvious to everyone smarter than my succulents that it can be a lot of work to place a good mole (or bribe someone who's already trusted) and you benefit more the longer they stay undiscovered. Doing risky moves that could lead to discovery pretty much immediately after you managed to get your mole an in? Idiotic at best

For the same reason it should also be obvious that trying to deflect blame, if you suspect a mole is likely to be discovered, is a good move. So framing someone else, maybe even someone who's potentially in your way, is best. And framing the new guy that fucks up the most basic stuff? Easy

But even if you dont think the framing of someone else is likely to work (due to a smart opponent who would also know points 2 and 3), you can at least use the opportunity of a weak link/new arrival to use the info you gained in ways you couldn't before for fear of exposing your real mole. So if it helps your goals, you can have the double feature of sowing chaos in your enemies' ranks as well as finally setting the more obvious steps of your plans in motion, with suspicion on someone else as a smokescreen

And all in all, both Kinn and Korn are smart enough to know this, especially since the show keeps clobbering us over the head with Boss Korn and chess metaphors. That's why (or at least partly why) Kinn needs Porsche as a bodyguard. He's pretty much free of suspicion in this aspect, not to mention his loyalty is to the safety of his brother first; not to money. Though this in itself could be a risk as well. I suspect its easy to find out about his attachement to his brother and try to use it some way. On the other hand he is incredibly head strong, so i wonder how he would react to perceived threats like that.... likely with extreme prejudice....

#kinnporsche #kp meta #Kinnporsche the series #kinnporsche meta #i have feelings

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dojae-huh · 8 months

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hi huh. this could be my last lastart ask 🥹 im sorry to be whiny here but i'm heartbroken minjae didn't debut in nct tokyo. i dreaded it cos he's not one of the clearly strong candidates from how the judges ranked him and his stage performance but it still hurt. this is my first time watching a survival show too. its not a traditional survival and it all was decided before but this is still how it feels to root for someone's debut..

i know so little about minjae comparing to urichil especially jaedo but i love his voice. his personality doesnt stand out but humble and gentle is one of my types 🥺 i like him enough from the show to want to know more about him as a person, even with the little screentime he got. i planned on stanning nct tokyo if he debuted there cos i already love nct lore, concepts and ofc the music but since he's not in the unit.. i might not be able to stan. i'm too emotional. i do like riku and yushi but it's just not enough for me to stay invested. i'll just support their music as a listener.

minjae is a 02 line trainee and he's training for 2 years already. riize just debuted. nct tokyo will debut soon. sm claimed theyll debut artists more but i just can't see it in at least 2 or 3 more years. even so trainees will go and new trainees will come. combinations and concepts will keep changing as we have seen and not the best vocalists (or dancers, rappers, visuals) get chosen. we never know for real why hansol and yongju left, could be how sm had no clear plans for them too but i also feel like yongju wasn't a dancer and hansol not really a singer or rapper at the time. like minjae now. sm wants performers or if not, someone with extreme skills on one end must have no other worthy rivals at the time. adding korea military service and the industry trends to debut younger trainees, minjae has limited time in sm. 02 is considered kinda old now no matter how ridiculous it sounds.

at the end of lastart minjae looked like he still had hope and would still try to be an idol but i wonder like you if he'll still be in sm. he's still there atm but the younger trainees have more time. i'll root for minjae in whatever path he chooses but i think he fits sm best with the talent and music style, even if his stage presence is still lacking. i also dont really dig other companies' bg sounds tbh 😢 idk i just can only see him fit in sm group or just go solo as a ballad or pop singer.

enough about minjae rant. i know anderson stood out without blending in but i'm still SHOOK he's not become a neo. he seems neo for me, just not fit with most lineup members. i agree nct tokyo looks like they are going the youthful route first. i got this feeling from the members' visuals and heights too. sion is the only tall one now and maybe daeyoung. minjae and anderson might change the group vibes. (haruta and heitetsu are tall too but they had lower chance to debut.) ryo is unexpected for me tbh even with his 90's love but i know jp fans are gonna love him like sakuya and sm probably thought he was a young one with potential. he's also the most popular jp trainee after yushi, riku and sakuya.

minjae and anderson are popular among kr, jp and international fans too but sm chose daeyoung over minjae and sakuya over anderson ig.

anderson said he would take a break. he had only been training for 6 months in sm but i feel he felt he was close to debut with his previous performance ranking. i'm honestly most shocked about him not chosen even tho i know he has different vibes from others.

I was saying that it not always only about skill, a trainee needs to fit the concept and the rest of the trainees.

This idol show was just at least. It's worse when those who debuted are obviously less skilled than the ones you rooted for due to fans' bias. All chosen future neos make sense one way or another.

SM wanted a main vocal. Daeyoung also offered rap and better stage precence than Minjae (despite a few months of training, i.e. he progresses faster). And visually he blends better with the rest. His face is kind of roundish, on a bland side, but make up will improve it. Minjae's face is elegant and cold. He is very contrasting to others. Still, I think his downfall was his lack of progress in stage presence.

I don't know Minjae, obviously, but I wonder if becoming a soloist is better for him. He likes singing and he wants to touch people's hearts. Idolship hardly offers this. We know Doyoung struggles. He had a period of "I will do my best, sing what I have to sing", when he wasn't into NCT songs and his parts. 4 seasons didn't work. Taeil is still waiting for his solo despite his golden voice, for which he was chosen over Doyoung for 127 (although Do studying Chinese played a role in it too, heh). Minjae doesn't have Doyoung's assertiveness and will. Being an idol might become a burden, too much for him to handle. Trainees don't really know what is ahead of them. There was that case of Winner's main vocal leaving soon after debut. He won the competition, got the ultimate prize, and found out it wasn't what he desired in the end. If Minjae hones his voice, he can become an OST singer, sing before live public.

Anderson would have been chosen if not for SaRyo, who are Japanese. He isn't an obvious rapper like Riku, and Sakuya is also entertaining. Hansol was a better dancer than Johnny, but he was timid (had less fans, I suppose), and he had no other advantages like English for extra points. Anderson is still, like, 18? He is very self-managing and optimistic, he will make it. Maybe he will be the reason to pay attention to the next SM group, heh. He is kind of repeating Shotaro's path. If he won't change his mind about being an idol in Korea, we will see him again. He either cameback home to graduate school or spend time with his parents.

Despite Kassho not being ready, I really wanted him as a neo, he fits the concept so well. So I get you.

As one of the judges said, the contestants who didn't win got exposure and gained fans. It's already an advantage. There are popular groups consisting of Produce 101 trainees who were eliminated in the beginning or in the middle (Oneus, Everglow). Not winning a show is not the end. It all depends on the will to succeed, who has it in them. And I think SM will keep the promise of debuting a new group every 2-3 years. They can do it by diversifying genres.

#ask me away #the even unit

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hella1975 · 1 year

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I know plenty of people have already talked about that particular line in the last scene of chapter 40 but can I just say thank you for letting kanut be the one to have that moment with Zuko. That genuine moment between these two queer people means so much to me.

As an asexual sapphic I struggle a ton letting these identities coexist. It often feels like I gotta pick and choose between them. So many people have this mentality that people like me are the queer asexuals unlike cis aroace/arohet/acehet folks. Like I'm queer despite my asexuality rather than it being an equal part of my queerness. Reading that conversation I instinctly expected Zuko to realise kanut isn't like him and dismiss that experience and advice as relevant to his situation. But instead you let them relate to each other and I haven't stopped thinking about that.

I went to pride a little over a week ago and found this acearo stand. The guy there told me they had a few WhatsApp groups for aspec people so I gave him my number. I live in a very small country in the Mediterranean basin so there really isn't really an asexual culture here at all. So I thought I'd at least try but I couldn't master up the courage to use the WhatsApp link he sent me. Anyways all that is to say I finally did it today because of this chapter and kanut. Congrats on getting a win over my anxiety.

Completely unrelated the whole thing with Zuko and the flower in his hair hit me so hard as a plus sized person. I've felt so many times in my life I needed to be more masculine and aggressive and to not put any emphasis on my body or my appearance. I know that definitely was not your intention and I'm not even sure if it makes any sense but my ed has been really bad recently and that part made me want to put flowers in my hair and cry in the summer sun.

Sorry if I'm being way too personal with this but that chapter has got me in emotional shambles. So I just wanted to let you know how impactful your writing is. I am never not floored by your insane talent.

asks like this mean the absolute world to me i genuinely treasure them and hold each one so close. im so glad you found something comforting in my writing. it was a personal chapter for me too and it was really important to me that zuko and kanut have that connection where they relate, not see each other as different. idk if it's tiktok or just the internet generation as a whole but there's a really disheartening trend atm of queer identities pitting against each other, competing over who has it worse and sometimes we all just need to step back and remember what unites us. each person has different experiences with their own queerness even if they share a label with someone else. it doesn't need to be a battle and that's what i was trying to show with kanut and zuko and thankfully i think i got that across pretty well based on the overwhelming response ive had from that chapter. it's truly touched my heart so please dont fret about this seeming too personal. you deserve to be recognised and the fact you messaged that group despite your anxiety? knowing i had even a minor part to play in that is going to make me smile for DAYS. i hope they offer you more of a community than what you've received so far. you deserve flowers in your hair xx

#i think it's interesting what you said about letting two identities coexist and the struggle youve had with that #bc!!!! struggling with duality is sort of taob's whole thing!!! and if you couldnt tell my overall message is VERY MUCH #that we should find balance instead of one side trying to dominate the other and being prioritised and deemed more important/better #and i KNOW it's easier said than done i mean it's taken us 300k+ words just to get this far and we're not even there yet #but we will get there one day and it will be worth it and beautiful and one day i know you'll be there too <3 #ask #taob asks

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saraptor · 11 months

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i think i have a fever and whole body aches like ive been dropped from a tower so that means its time to get emotional over spiderman!!!!!

into the spiderverse and across the spiderverse firmly lodged spiderman as my favorite superhero. that mean the only one i'm willing to watch atm bc im so burnt out over the mcu that the thought of watching another mcu movie makes me want to tear my hair out. but i make an exception for spiderman which i probably should have seen coming bc i remember watching that first spiderman (2002 toby maguire) and literally trying to climb and bounce off walls. literally. i threw myself up walls as much as i could. anyway

i finally watched no way home! it was... ok???? i think part of my issue is i want MORE. it feels like they had a bloated cast and they didnt know what to do with them all. i adored Doc Ock tho. andrew garfield's spiderman's intetaction with the electricity guy was sweet. tbh this movie really shined for me when aunt may and the other spidermen were there. i cant help but feel as though they could have cut SOMETHING to give the other cast members more time to shine. i mean the lizard guy is turned back human and we just see his split-second reaction. osborn's "what did i do?" was gut wrenching to watch but we dont see any follow up.

and then peter is erased from irminsul from everyone's memory and ends up ENTIRELY alone.

ig my thing isnt even that its not a good movie, just that they had great concepts and it feels like there wasnt enough time given to expound upon them.

that said AG!Spiderman catching MJ really stuck with me bc he was so emotional. and i loved that. he didnt get to save gwen, but he got to save MJ. and then TH!Peter reassuring aunt may that everything was going to be fine. it reminds me of itsv's og!spiderman who reassured miles that everything was fine, despite the coughing being a "bad sign." and peter b parker doing the same thing when he tries to stay behind. and spider-woman's peter assuring her that everything would be okay. ik other ppl have said this wayyy more eloquently but caring is so intrinsic to spiderman.

and finally we have miles morales trying to save lives even when their deaths are "canon events" and th!peter trying to save doc ock and co. even tho their "fate is already written."

its like "ofc theyre good ppl theyre superheroes" and yes but also i have a fever and andrew garfield spiderman made me cry so. yeah

#also aunt may's death scene? spectacular #she was walking but it was so clear she was in shock and i was just waiting for her to collapse #i also bawled there too #saraptor rambles #spoilers #atsv spoilers

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unadulterated-syd · 1 year

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is this one still up? looks really fun!

Send in a couple things about you, personality + gender + gender preference,, and I'll give you a character I'd pair you with platonically (add your fandom!!)

so, im an intp, i love horror movies and mystery books (my favs at the moment are those from stalking jack the ripper series yk), im a rock/metal music lover, i draw some stuff and write abt romance&horror (usually they walk together), i play rpg and atm im trying the dungeon master thing. i dont talk to alot of people, that takes tooo much energy, few people think im rude cause tbh i dont have much patience and i dont let people step on me yk, still i care too much abt others (i just dont like them to know it), so i help anyone that asks for it on my own way, but i hate being helped cause talking abt my problems makes me feel weak. also i go for she/her and i dont have any gender preferences.

my fandoms are stranger things, twd, supernatural, wednesday, hp and alice in borderland (yep you dont write abt some of these but i like to talk abt them:])

yes all my events are still up!

like you said, i don't write for all your fandoms, however i can give you a matchup for; stranger things, the walking dead, wednesday and harry potter!

we actually have a LOT in common,, you just seem cooler than me tbh

(id love to talk to u about horror btw)

anyway!

stranger things -> this one id like to put you with eleven hopper!

the way id mostly support this is you seem a lot like max, and those two have one of the best bonds (though i ship elmax this friendship would be platonic)

youd help her with bullying problems and would NOT let her ever feel bad about herself

and tbh i think you guys could be a badass duo (not side kick way cause youd both bring equal amounts to the table)

plus i think will would warm up to you and im sure you could help him with his sexuality issues (we all know he thinks badly of himself)

but el would just really adore you, and you her i think itd be a good friendship all around

(i genuinely think shed be scared of horror movies and then she sees a slasher and then is a fanatic tbh)

the walking dead -> i think i want to put you with glenn

hear me out, him being a poser before the apocalypse and you GENUINELY teaching him about punk/rock, and horror culture

like when hes passionate about something he stands his ground,, and you stand his ground with him (you two always win bc youd always be right)

the two of you BOTH going on the ride in his red car

being friends with him since day 1 of the apocalypse and bonding

helping him in your secretive ways and him noticing it >>

he would hes very good at detecting things like that,, and would be v thankful but wouldnt tell you cause obviously you dont want to talk about it

plus hed silently understand your feelings so u dont need to express them

wednesday -> i give you ajax!!

see hypothetically, i think xaviers the type to also be super into horror and punk/rock

so ajax is already heavily exposed to your interests + i think hed be into some horror

and hes the type to enjoy a light amount of rock/punk

i think hed be big on apocalypse shows for some reason

i feel like neither of tou are comfortable sharing emotions you just kind of know everything about eachother and act accordingly

you guys could geek out over new horror movies and such!!!

plus you and enid would get along really well so you three would be best pals

i think youd bud heads with xavier so the two of you would probably argue a lot and Ajax would bully the two of you about it

Harry Potter -> I want to pair you with Fred and George

i cant even explain this one

you guys just are best friends

and youre the only one that ever gets serious (when you need to ofc)

plus they def dont discuss feelings to one another lets be honest

I hope these work for you!!! :)))

#harry potter #wednesday 2022 #the walking dead #stranger things

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cornflowercanine · 2 years

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OH I THINK THE THING I FORGOT TO PUT IN MY 'THIS YEAR IS THE ANNIVERSARY OF-' POST IS THAT ITS 833N 3 YEARS SINCE IVE 833N FUNCTIONALLY CLEAN FROM SELF-HARM LOL I FUCKING . FORGOT. congrats me X3 talking a8t it more under the cut cw for. talking a8t self harm lol+some of the thought process 8ehind it

8y "functionally" clean i mean ill relapse once every Several Months 8ut 8c thats so fucking infrequent at least compared to how i used to 8e that like... resetting the counter every time does not f33l helpful lol XD if it was a w33kly or even daily 8asis for me then YES it would f33l good to 8e a8le to go "ahhh im 3 days clean :'3" 8ut atm it's a few times a year so!!!!! lol

8ut like. would you 8elieve me if i told you it was Not a goal of mine to start recovering that fucking quickly going into 2019 (which is when i started to stop, early 2019!). it's a8solutely not like i was like WOOHOO SELF HARM YEAH LOVE IT 8ut my thinking was that it was smth i'd n33d like a therapist to help me with and give me good coping mechanisms to replace with and hold my hand through the process and shit 8ut the reason i stopped was i ... kept forgetting xD; or i kept getting distracted! i'd 8e upset and 8e like GRRR GRR I SHOULD SELF-HARM 8ut then i'd have to replay the song i was listening to that just ended, or someone sent me a message and i wanted to reply, or i was like. understimul8ed and impulsively opened tum8lr to check it for the 6th time that hour. and 8y the time i was done with whatever little thing i either was like GRRR IM GONNA SELF HARM -gets distracted again- or was like oh yeah. .......8UT THAT'S SAD I DONT WANNA HURT ME RIGHT NOW THAT'S SOMEONE'S FRIEND :( so id end up just not self harming XD i also think my whole...... emotional deal of 2019 honestly genuinely mightve contri8uted to me stopping, getting distracted for a second to stall me self-harming Once and then it happening over and over and over again was already a huge deal, 8ut i wonder a lot (when i AM thinking a8t self-harm which i dont often lol) if me 8eing so fucking mentally+emotionally occupied with a specific sad thing that i didnt f33l like punishing myself over or like was my fault or whatever it was a very external thing, is what helped stave self-harm off like, mentally. i spent the entire year 8eing sad and upset and hurt 8ut this time it wasn't a8out me and that was new XD

and then i think around early 2020? i was like god this just isn't something i not only dont f33l the drive or n33d to do anymore 8ut that i don't even WANT to do, i don't even get any 8ackwards enjoyment out of going "GRRR I SHOULD SELF HARM I SUCK SO 8AD", when thoughts like that DO pop up they f33l str8 up out of place and uncomforta8le and uncalled for now instead of like. something i'm Deli8er8ly thinking Myself that I'm starting. whenever i was really upset i was just like GOD THIS SUCKS really hard and thatd 8e it and when i WOULD relapse out of like. confused upset frenzy not knowing what else to do it wouldn't even f33l good in the aforementioned 8ackwards enjoyment way it just hurt and i was like. 8ro this just hurts whats the fucking point. have u ever 833n upset and planning to self harm 8ut then you like, stu8 your toe or get a papercut or hit your el8ow on ur desk rlly hard and youre like 8RO WHAT THE FUCK OW and ur 8rain's like isnt that what you wanted and ur like YEAH 8UT NOT LIKE THIS, that's how ALL self harm f33ls to me now 8ut without the. wanting to self harm part it's just a hollow reflex that i remem8er exists sometimes. i'm just like damn there was this massive part of my life that i ran off of and evil8rain tells me will help me get along sometimes so i decide to indulge it and for fucking what? for this? for f33ling guilty and having my arm hurt for the rest of the day??? it just str8 up wasnt and isnt worth it anymore so aside from the Thr33 Times A Year Freakout i am clean and man is existing and having a 8ody way less stressful now that i don't do that anymore XD thank you me i love you me

#clove rambles #self harm tw #personal #not much more to say just :3 thank you me i love you me!!!!!

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nowujustlooklikeanyone · 2 years

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a very off topic Song of Achilles review/literally a rant that not a soul asked for and is literally one big fat fucking spoiler

from my notes app

i’m not even finished yet but i know what happens because it’s based on the greek myth but omfg i keep crying because the happy moments are sad and the sad moments make me hate real life ugh gods sake i can’t deal with it

also my context with reading pjo since third year means im so familiar with the mythology so i even know the side characters and it’s making me even sadder and sadder its like ah i just want to go back to reading magnus chase for a forth time and chill and laugh but then i get sad like oh shit those guys have had so much loss too, my poor babies, i’m miserable, i’m going to go cry, but THEN i read a solangelo fic and i’m like THANK FUCK and there’s a new book coming and rick probably hopefully can’t kill them off (ask me for an explaination why i think this if you are interested) bc i would kill HIM. literally so excited for the book i love Mark Oshiro(the person the solangelo book is in collaboration with) ahhh okay i think i’m fine now WAIT NO BECAUSE NICO DI ANGELO HAD THE SADDEST BACKSTORY OF THEM ALL I LOVE HIM SO MUCH IM SO SAD I MISS BIANCA at least he got some good things in the end thank fuck for will solace they are my otp solangelo is the best ship AND best ship name besides fierrochase. like ever. i don’t think i will ever love any other characters more than them they’re the best characters in all of literature. okay i think i’m fine now BUT NO BECAUSE THEN JASON GRACE DIES LIKE WHAT? FUCK MY LIFE POOR NICO OH AND PIPER DONT GET ME STARTED HER RELATIONSHIP WAS BASED ON A LIE PLACED IN HER HEAD BY A GODDESS AND HE DIDNT HAVE THE MEMORIES BUT SHE DID FOR THE REST OF HER LIFE IT FELT REAL FOR HER SHE CANT JUST GET RID OF THEM SO THEY BREAK UP BECAUSE ITS TOO HARD WHICH IS A GOOD DECISION BUT OH AND THEN JASON DIES? THAT IS THE MOST AWFUL DISGUSTING THING I AM SOBBING AND BARFING ALL OVER THE PLACE ugh and leo is the most precious thing i kin him and i did before i even knew what kinning was when i first read about him in year 5 (i think it was year 5) or maybe i’m just in love with him it’s one of the two, when i was younger he was my favourite character but now it’s like all of them. calypso is perfect for him kinda? like i don’t know when you read it it makes so much sense and you can practically feel his happiness radiating of the page and it made sense like story wise it fit in very very well so i love that… however when i think about caleo vs solangelo and fierrochase… eh. it’s just #lame i can’t explain! even frazel is cuter than caleo because omg they are just COMPLETELY PERFECT i never realised but i have a crush on hazel AND frank… not that that means that much because i have a crush on every single character but i think i love them most? theyre sort of the most memorable because i loved them as soon as i got to know them in the second heroes of olympus book idk i feel a different way about them hm🤨 okay i’m done. i think i’m done. this wasn’t even about song of achilles really HOLY FUCK NO NOW IM THINKING ABOUT PATROCLUS AGAIN NOPE IM SAD I CANT DO THIS. i was actually crying before more than i have in weeks like it was a build up of things in my life,!but mainly when achilles said “i have traded love for glory, and it cost his life. to any god who is listening, end my suffering.”

god. this is fucking embarrassing and unreadable

NEWSFLASH i’m still too scared to finish it and i am finishing every happy book i can find before this jesus christ this book it going to wreck me and today as already been emotional😫

ok a few weeks later and am i insane? girl? i wrote so much anyway i’m still reading other things and i don’t in any way want to finish song of achilles atm so we’ll see i guess!

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t4tozier · 3 years

Text

so i should be doing hw rn but i don’t want to do that so take some trans reddie hcs instead

it’s gonna get long so i’m putting it under a cut

richie comes out first

he comes out to the losers before anyone else, even his parents

his parents are a bit confused at first but they support him and are really great with his transition

it takes eddie longer because of his internalized transphobia and repression

he eventually realizes that people usually don’t search up “am i transgender” quizzes if they’re secure in their identity

and cis girls apparently are fine with being called ma’am and young lady?? and they enjoy dressing up in skirts??

like he’s just clueless for a long time because he doesn’t have really any girl friends and sonia is sonia so nobody talks to him about this stuff

richie coming out actually helps him a lot cause then he’s able to ask him questions and richie can explain his perspective

and it doesn’t sound exactly like how eddie feels but it’s enough where he’s like okay there’s definitely something happening here

tbh i don’t really want to focus on the trans angst part atm so let’s skip to college

(if anyone wants stuff about eddie and sonia/high school reddie i’ll make a separate post)

so they all go to the same college bc i said so

eddie and stan room together and so do bill and richie bc as much as they want to be around the other they mutually agree that their rooming styles are too different and they’d probably end up getting on each other’s nerves a lot

they’re over at each other’s rooms all the time anyway so it works out

eddie’s developed his own style at this point

he started out trying to look really masculine and then realized that wasn’t really him

he tried wearing one of bev’s skirts and it made him super dysphoric so he doesn’t wear anything like that but he’s comfortable now with a softer, light academia style

meanwhile richie’s more of a gender fuckery type

at the end of high school and into college he really starts experimenting with style

he’s still sort of a fashion mess but he’ll wear skirts and dresses and loud patterns and for the most part doesn’t care how he’s perceived

he still gets dysphoria though !! he presents across the gender spectrum depending on how he feels that day but he’s not a fan of his chest and he doesn’t like being referred to as a woman

so he gets top surgery first

eddie spends practically all his time at richie’s dorm taking care of him

bill’s obviously supportive but he doesn’t necessarily want to be taking care of him 24/7 cause like. he still wants to be social and stuff so he’s happy to let eddie take care of him

richie’s pretty drugged up on painkillers the first day or two and he’s constantly talking about how handsome eddie is and how he’s such a good doctor

and maybe an i love you slips out but richie pretends he doesn’t remember and eddie pretends he didn’t hear it

they’re still not together at this point but it’s obvious they’ll get together because they’ve been flirting since they were pre-pubescent

it’s not until richie starts healing up and can wear the things he used to wear but without dysphoria that he starts to question again

and ends up coming out as nonbinary <3

he’s still happy with he/him pronouns but the losers (at his request) start using they/them for him as well and those are really good too so he ends up using he/they

because richie is sort of the blueprint for eddie’s transition eddie starts to question himself as well

but ends up staying with the trans man label because, especially after talking more to richie about it, he realizes that he doesn’t feel the same about gender as richie does

eddie doesn’t start physically transitioning until college

he binds but bc of sonia can’t start T until he turns 18, which happens his first semester

some stuff he only feels comfortable talking to richie about but he’s blushing the whole time anyway

like how richie’s big dick jokes weren’t entirely untrue

and he doesnt show richie but he’s like. is this normal

and richie wants to laugh but they dont want to make eddie more self conscious than he clearly already is so they’re like yeah dw and it calms eddie down significantly

they end up meeting a bunch of other trans ppl on campus and they’re both so fucking happy bc they love the losers (and most of them aren’t straight) but they never got any trans exposure besides each other in derry

so it’s really nice to see other trans people in varying states of transition and like. see that they’re not alone

also everyone thinks they’re a couple because they literally show up holding hands but they just blush and stammer out a weak excuse and everyone exchanges glances and then leaves it alone

eddie kinda freaks out when it’s his turn for top surgery

he’s terrified of surgery and anesthesia and richie has to pull him away from the computer a lot because he’s psyching himself out learning about all the things that could possibly go wrong

but they’re there for him every step of the way

so are the losers of course but none of them have been through it

and richie keeps reassuring him like “look at me, i made it through just fine and you’re way healthier than me”

cause lets be real richie smokes weed and probably vapes and doesn’t have a real exercise routine

meanwhile eddie goes to the gym four times a week and goes on runs and takes vitamin supplements

so surgery happens and richie’s right there holding eddie’s hand when he wakes up

and now it’s eddie’s turn to be kinda loopy and he just stage whispers, “i know you’re in love with me”

and richie’s just laughing nervously and looking around and he still hasn’t let go of eddie’s hand

like they have no clue what to do so they’re just like haha okay time to go back to sleep and eddie just shrugs and passes out again until the nurse wakes him up and it doesn’t get brought up again

everyone pitches in to help out with eddie’s recovery

seeing his flat chest for the first time is a super emotional experience

he only lets richie be there with him, which the others pretty much expected

he completely breaks down and richie holds him on the bathroom floor and neither of them talk for a long time

but then richie helps eddie put his shirt back on so he doesn’t pull the stitches and then they both just sit there on the floor and talk for a long time

and that’s when eddie finally confesses

they’re both completely lucid this time, so there’s no mistaking it for anything but the truth when eddie tells richie he’s been in love with him since middle school

and of course richie reciprocates and that’s their first kiss

and when they pull apart richie just murmurs, “does that mean you want to be the first to see richie tozier’s big dick?”

and eddie laughs and pushes them away and the spell is broken

but he doesn’t say no

#this is kinda all over the place but if anyone wants more elaboration on anything #or just another post like this #more than happy to oblige #also i hope this goes without saying but like. all trans hcs are valid #even if they differ from my personal hcs!#im also like. heavily projecting so you'll never see trans hcs about bottom surgery on here bc a. its not smth i want and b. not smth i know #all that much about #so i dont want to write about it #and i also don't think richie would want it #maybe eddie would but again thats not really my area of expertise so !!#also #have ur own hcs but pls dont shit on others' especially when theyre drawn from my personal experience #i dont think anyone will but i want to put that out there just in case #trans reddie #trans richie tozier #trans eddie kaspbrak #college au #drugs cw #weed cw #surgery cw #nsft #ish

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surviving---not---living · 3 years

Text

What the fuck do I do?...

**tw emotional/physical abuse mentions**

posted this on reddit with different ages and such so he wont find it but he doesnt use tumblr so I wanted to post here to see if yall had some suggestions as well any help would be greatly appreciated or to just know someone read would also be enough... with that said I'll paste the post.

to start I'm 23f and the fiance is 38m

I have an idea of what i should do i just sincerely dont want to i dont want to leave him homeless and without money or a job...

but the last few months have me scared and confused...

(during arguments he let's me write down what's happening when I hear something that stands out to me in Hope's itll help me fix my behaviour i got from my parents so ive been able to write down exact wording on some things said) theres just so much going on...

to preface this hes never been physically abusive to me and thankfully it's not there yet. in his defense though i was raised very incorrectly due to shit parents and I have a lot of mental issues that cause self sabotage, delusional thinking- meaning If I personally believe something it usually takes a small war to get my mind to recognize im actually wrong, as well as terrible memory so if I do acknowledge I've done something wrong more often than not my head forgets what happened or what i even did wrong if anything and the next time it inevitably happens again I have no information to pull from to tell me what I did was wrong or why. so basically I'm kind of a fuck up, I'm doing my best to fix my shit but yeah my fiance has been dealing with all of that for 4 years now.

(*some minorly important issues

•he's been interrupting me not letting me finish what I'm saying and just outright changing the topic since we first got together, although wrong of me I started doing that as well because i saw no other way to be able to speak to him except even when I'm doing the exact same shit hes doing it seems like hes the only allowed to be upset.

•we were in an open relationship except he didnt follow the rules we agreed to one time and that broke my trust I had for him. we said no coworkers, we said only people we were both interested in we said no one that's taken and yet all of those got broken over an ugly bitch. and I still get shit for bringing it up to this day.

•he said that until I start prefacing all of my conversations with him he wont count any attempt I've made at talking to him about my problems. so basically everything I've tried talking to him about doesnt fucking matter and it doesnt fucking count. not even when I tried telling him 3 separate times I'm feeling suicidal to top it off everytime i mentioned it, it ended in an argument.

•he told me he got suicidal thoughts for the first time in 10 years due to me and honestly I didnt know how to fucking respond to that. it made me sad yeah but where was the care I needed when I brought up the same thing? where was his give a fuck hes supposed to show if he actually cares about me??

•he says he interrupts me because what I have to say is either false, not grounded in reality, or they're excuses. except he has little to no way of knowing any of that is true unless he hears me all the way out I could be agreeing with him and he still interrupts and gets pissed.

•I believe hes a hypocrite but he says nah hes only doing this because I'm doing bad.

•hes said multiple times that i wont see any improvement in him until he sees I've got my shit together. even though hes the one that caused the first problems in this relationship I'm supposed to be the first one to fix my shit? instead of both of us working on our shit together??? and when I ask those questions he responds with yes you are supposed to be the first one to fix your shit because I'm at the end of my rope and I wont take this anymore.)

but on to why I've been scared. this person told me he used to be abusive with an equally abusive ex for many reasons and after splitting up he vowed to never do that again and never end up like they did.

fast forward to our relationship and well a few months ago he told me he wanted to hit me and made it a point to say he wasnt going to but he really wanted to.

he said that because we were both in my car and he wanted to leave with the car except I wasnt going to get out of MY car so he started yelling, i got scared and left later on he told me that was the first time hes ever wanted to hit me and I should think about what it is I did to get him to that point. after that I left it alone for a month because things got a bit better and then came the next time he said he wanted to hit me. now I dont remember the reason for him saying it the second time but I wasnt going to let that slip as easily as the first so I spoke up about it and what he had to say about me telling him it made me scared of him to know he wanted to hit me was " well if you Weren't a coward, normally when someone says they want to hit you it's a signal that you're doing something so wrong that they want to hit you." and me knowing him i knew this was one of those times he just wasnt going to budge.

so on to the next argument.

he told me I'm the one who thrust those thoughts into him, that I'm the reason they ever came to be, I'm why the exist in the first place. and he doesnt seem to understand when I say that no I'm not the reason your head wants to hurt me they exist there because of your last relationship letting that be an option. he also said he keeps the option of abuse in his head with a line in front of it to remind him to never pass that line and he doesn't understand that keeping that idea in his head at all is not a good thing because now the option is available whether you want to take it or not and

he. just. kept. arguing. and defending.

now on to the last argument.

he says he wants me to stop putting him in a position to do all the thinking and decision making for me, when I've asked him multiple times to stop doing that because I want to do shit for myself and all he keeps saying is show me that you can actually think for yourself and I'll stop needing to do that. like motherfucker at least give me the time to make decisions or thoughts.

I know it's not his fault that I take longer to process things but he knows this fact and keeps expecting me to already have a response half a second later to something I'm barely registering 5 seconds after it happened and again yes I know its something I have to work on and I am but atm it's still an existing issue.

hes trying to call thinking for me and making decisions for me "a gift" (the exact context for him saying this wasnt written down as I was too upset at the audacity of that claim.)

he wants me to show overwhelming efforts to fix my fucked behavioral issues but the efforts I'm putting in atm dont matter to him and that hes hanging on a single thread hes no longer willing to take anything but Absolute compliance(yes he used the actual words absolute compliance) if he doesnt see me losing sleep to figure out and fix my shit he wont be convinced I'm trying. he ended that segment with him saying hes not using these words to control or manipulate me. he says this is a requirement a yes or no and he wont make his decision on whether he wants to break up with me until I say yes or no to his absolute compliance. he said his decision is solely based on my answer and If i say yes i dont get to back off or get out of it.

I also wrote down a quote he said that was just so arrogant i couldnt leave it out.

"You sit before an artisan of problem solving." -my fiance

soo haha yeahh the last argument happened right before going to bed and I started typing this as soon as I got up and finished my hygiene stuff.

I'm pretty sure if he had never told me he'd wanted to hit me this wouldn't be such a difficult thing to answer... I love him and I have no idea if I should pick him and risk any form of my safety or just let him leave me.. he has no job, no money, and no family to go to.. I know he doesnt care about being homeless but I do care..I fucking love him and I dont want that for him not even for a day... as shitty as he and I can both be I still dont believe that's what he deserves... if he ever finds this hell be even more pissed that I'm even concerned about what he'll do if he leaves.. he always told me to not care and that if I ever do want to leave him to not worry about that and just get it over with sooner.. thing is I dont want to leave I just want my baby back... the one that didnt yell or didnt want to hit me at all... I want our old relationship back.. I guess I want to know if that's even possible at this point. any words from anyone would be really nice right now.. if only to just feel like someone's talking to me.. my fiance is literally the only person I talk to and the closest thing to a friend I have. and i dont tell my parents any of what's happening because they're stressed enough so I've been basically alone for 4 years with no one but my fiance to talk to..

granted it's my fault I havent made other friends but I've been so stressed recently that I havent done much about it for many reasons..

update: he just finished telling me that hes only had half a burger in the last 3 days, (due to stress) he just wanted to let me know that apparently.

#abusive relationship #tw abuse #mine #relationship #please help me #help #relationship advice #fiancé #couple problems #manipulative #maybe #physical abuse #lost #scared #lonely #what do i do

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animalinvestigator · 3 years

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OK so a big thing that i want to say like in response to ur post is that I do agree that as they are right now petscop is WAY stronger than twf but i think a big reason for that is that petscop is like, a finished story, where twf is still In progress like only about 1/4th of it has been released rn, Especially in the wake of a thing the creator of twf has said about how the best analysis of it are ones that take all 3 currently released episodes into account rather than analyzing each episode on its own i think its a little disingenuous to make big comparisons about the stories when we dont know too much except the objective facts of it all rigth now

like of course petscop is going to stand way stronger (and i love petscop to DEATH like ive loved petscop for years it is one of my favorite series ever) because its like finished and it's loose ends are tied where as atm twf's loose ends just feel like poor writing since we dont know where its Going with them yet

i think the stories are trying to send completely different impressions (and i think u understood this in smth you said about how petscop is about childhood trauma+identity vs twf being about familial loss) and thats a big reason why the characters seem to have much more or less weight depending on which story ur looking at. Because in petscop its much more personal, youre seeing it thru paul and the game itself is cover to cover loaded with personal emotional shit left in by rainer and others, but in twf it's supposed to feel like ur getting a weird disjointed outside perspective on this family because even in universe thats what it is, it felt to me like it was trying toportray that feeling of family you lost a long time ago that you at this point dont have anything but the weird disjointed outside family photos and shit like that. Even the series name being like "walten files" gave me the impression that it was trying to be a series of 'disconnected-but-not-really' left behind documentations on these peoples lives rather than the people themselves, and, of course in that case the character weight in petscop would stand WAY stronger, because petscop is about the character weight where twf is about the tragedies themselves

NOT THAT I DONT RESPECT YOU FOR PREFERRING THAT, I mean typically i prefer that as well and i honestly wouldnt be surprised if as twf releases (because again i still hold my feeling that its unfair to twf to try and compare it to a story legend like petscop at the point it's at rn where only a fraction has been released) i continue to prefer petscop way over twf but i love petscop For the story its already told whereas i love twf for it's potential

Tho i do TOTALLY acknowledge most of these comparisons come from the fact that (and i agree w this) bunnyfarm is very obviously heavily petscop inspired with its formatting (and i do think there are some things that could have been done way better in that way) of course bunnyfarm falls flat when compared to petscop because petscop is a series thats putting its all into the "video game+dissoc amnesia" angle where as twf is supposed to feel likea bunch of odd disjointed things that When put together tell a story. So of course bunnyfarm falls flat because bunnyfarm isnt meant to be considered alone

There ARE a lot of things in twf that i feel could be done way better but i also have to concede that the story isnt done yet and even in the story itself one of the characters has urged us(the audience) to not try and piece anything together. And i at this point like petscop way more than twf but i appreciate twf heavily for what it is and i think comparing them both is unfair to twf for many reaosns

thats it im sorry this is like a whole essay but i care a LOT about internet horror and i thought your thoughts were really really good there were just a few things that i wanted to discuss really badly. thankyou for your time

LONG POST INCOMING EVERYONE BRACE FOR IMPACT

OMG I MEANT TO LIKE ACKNOWLEDGE THE FACT THAT TWF IS very muxh not finished in that original ask 😭 that is so true and super important to consider and i meant to write a paragraph about that in the ask i answered but i got too excited talking about petscop and i totally forgot. that is super important to remember about it and its also important to recognize that the person making twf is pretty young with what i assume is a small team and probably not anywhere near the amount of storytelling experience as pressedyes (hes been publishing internet stories since 2009) and for that like, no matter how many grievances i have with the pieces of the puzzle that we have, i have to cede that twf is really genuinely impressive and i do really admire all the work thats been done. and also like, i make a lot of jokes about it but i did have a fun time watching it and i have a fun time thinking about it and its Pretty damn good in a lot of ways.

i never really considered the personal vs impersonal presentation of the story and i like that angle of analysis a lot now that you mention it. the jumbled odds and ends thing will probably hopefully feel a lot better once we have a little more to start tying it together - a lot of my grievances are less with tying things together and more like how weak the introductions feel, but like, im hoping ans thinking that i will probably feel better about it with more information. thing is in a lot of ways petscop is disjointed in the same way - for the viewer at least, we're observing everything BUT the recordings from a secondhand, disjointed account from like, shit paul says on phone calls and in videos to outside observers who have a lot more information than either him or us as the viewers, and paul even grows gradually more distant from the audience too, and i feel like it still has stronger character work and first impressions . so i feel like the issue is that twf leans so hard into its "outside observer" perspective that it sacrifices a lot of character work that would help the episodes that are out stand on their own two legs better -- which is important, because the impression that the start of a story leaves is one of the most vital things to get right!! im hopedul that that disconnected perspective will be used in a similarly "invested but lacking information" type of way as petscop does in later episodes. i have hopefor it .

the reason the weaker parts of twf frustrate me so muxh is because i reallt really feel like it has a chance to be something really great, but the way its handling its influences right now and the lack of character work even when we have a lot of time to sit with the characters in question leaves a really sour taste in my mouth. i hope that as it continues to progress it'll be able to solidify its own identity somewhat! and i agree that irs not exactly a fair match when you pit it against pscop lol its just like; petscop is the best of the best to me and they do cover a lot of similar feelings and concepts, so comparing them helps me articulate my feelings more. its not really very helpful or anyone to earnestly be like "this story is better than the other", all you can really do is say what you like and dont like about different stories and compare and contrast :)

thanks for sending such a thought provoking message !! its nice to hear from a different perspective. i feel so strong about web horror also and i hope that someday soon i can regard twf a lot more positively because I Want More Good Art In The World and derive no joy from being negative. ok maybe sometimes but not aboit this!!!!!!! cos i want it to be good.

#long post #ALSO SORRY IF THIS RESPONSE IS AT ALL NONSENICAL OR DISJOINTED im moving into college todayso i have limited time to write posts.#BUT I WANT TO THOUGH #SORRUit took a while this is so fun to talkaboht though

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cadopan · 2 years

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Leah was emotional and frustrated in the first half , exclusively after 0-1, she was losing her mind, but hoe come the ref didnt give her a yellow card, that was DANGEROUS, the poor girl hit her head!

btw i dont really think she should be a captain atm, she is passionate, but her act is not what c captain should do, i hope someone tells her how to calm herself

No idea man... and there's no way the ref didn't see it bc it was very clear that only Leah and the Brighton player were chasing that ball, plus there was nothing else going on in the pitch to take her attention away from it. Just bad, bad refereeing. I actually wish a bigger deal was made of this, if the FA can nitpick over us contesting (who wouldn't?) over that City goal they should very well look into something that's more severe imo and contributes to setting precedent for dangerous plays like this.

You mean captain for England? I didn't watch the whole Brighton game so idk what her temperament was like, but I agree mostly based on the fact that she's still young and fairly inexperienced. People think that because she's already considered one of the top calibre CBs that she's practically the finished product, but that's partly because there aren't even that many world class CBs in women's football to begin with. She actually doesn't have that many caps playing in high-level games for the NT, or even "big" games for Arsenal yet. Sure there are exceptions of young leaders (Odegaard for Norway etc) but the Lionesses have plenty to choose from for now, so I'd prefer if Sarina waited a while more before considering her for the armband again.

#answers #leah williamson #engwnt #lionesses

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villainelle · 3 years

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☕ + mcu fandom post endgame?

update: uhh not me realising u said fandom after writing a whole ass essay: this fandom has been so divisive since civil war tbh. i wish people would hold the writers a little bit more accountable for their writing than hating on fans who’s characters have done something they don’t like. it’s like, a lot of the uh things that happen in the mcu that people have a problem with is just a case of really bad writing. (see below hhuuhwhuwe)

prev answer: ahhhhhhhh. okay i have a couple of thoughts. so obvs, post endgame marvel is largely tv shows atm. i think....it’s a transparent business decision and a good one, mind you, for marvel lmao. i think there’s several reasons. for it. first and foremost, obvs the avengers have disbanded so there isn’t a new group to carry future movies. secondly, splitting into several tv shows not only allows marvel to launch its own exclusive streaming platform, but ensures more viewers have to watch the shows for the future movies to make sense, y’know?

in terms of my opinions about the shows, atm i’m most surprised by wandavision which i didn’t expect to enjoy. i was worried they wouldn’t pull off the humour and sitcoms but they did a great job acc. i think both shows however suffer from pacing issues, particularly in the last episode where they try to tie everything up and it kinda falls apart bc there are too many antagonists — tfatws particularly struggles with it, i mean what the hell was the 180 turn on john walker in the last ep i’m still so ???? about that whole mess. a bit worried for loki but it’s the only tv show that probably doesn’t impact the upcoming movies as in it’s own alternate timeline.

black widow is still such an insult imo. firstly i dont think its the right place to put in the mcu - ideally you’d want the black widow after catws bc that’s when nat leaked all the shield files and her own past, so it makes more sense for her story to be situated into the timeline at that moment. the whole movie feels redundant given the character’s death has already happened, it’s like...it doesn’t really matter what happens bc u know how she dies anyway, and the emotional impact of it is lessened bc of that. the thing is i get why the russos killed natasha — bc mcu!clint has been so destroyed by....everything idek....there would be so little emotional impact with his death. that does not however mean i don’t still hate it lmao. it truly makes me furious that female characters are so outweighed by male characters in the mcu that the russos managed to kill both the only female guardian, and the only female avenger.

endgame!steve’s arc.....i pretend i do not see it. i really do. i lowkey talked about it on my blog a lot when endgame came out, bc it was sooo regressive in my mind and since the russos set up the rules of time travel to mean things could not be changed without creating an alternate timeline (mind u they broke that anyways.), then what that means for steve is that he had to go back in the past and do nothing for the timeline to continue as it did. (meaning, ignoring his own frozen self, ignoring bucky’s capture by hydra and the soviets, etc, etc). a lot of people hate on aou, and rightfully so in many ways, but that doesn’t change the fact that there were some pretty significant arcs in that movie that people wanna ignore - one of which is that steve has made his peace with being in the present. the avengers are his family, bucky is there as well, peggy has married and has told him to move on, and even his flashback is a kind of horror sequence of pretending “it’s over, we can go home” while people die around him.

for me, i think i miss the early movies so much. the og iron man movie, and catfa and catws, as well as the avengers are my top favourites. i really appreciate those storylines the most bc they exist on their own. once we got into phase 4, and the tv shows, it felt like every movie was an advertisement for the next with the way they threw cameos in. the most obvious being civil war with the spiderman reboot. in fact civil war in general was so redundant when you realise infinity war and endgame are literally gonna be like, “yeah all of that that we just talked about? it no longer stands”, and i mean this both re: the accords, and re: bucky, bc at no point somehow in the following movies do we even get a MENTION of bucky from tony. you’d think with endgame you’d at least have one line. it could have been as simple as tony saying: “we’ll get them back cap, all of them. barnes included.”

send me a ☕️ and a topic and i’ll talk about how i feel about it

#listen i have many thoughts....im sorry this is so long IJWEJIWJIE god the mcu makes me annoyed <3 i pretend civil war does not exist.#answered #replies #robert-deniro

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