#i dont care and i wont be mad and if i didnt want anyone to touch my work i would say so

[calamarispiderart]

assume everything i post can be interacted with in whatever way strikes you. if i didnt want my work to be seen, it wouldnt be shared

#calamarispeaks #AKA #even if it seems grim or sad or mentally ill or whatever #you can respond and reblog and do whatever you please #i dont care and i wont be mad and if i didnt want anyone to touch my work i would say so

[caruliaa]

someone else when theyre in a thinking of someone as their best friend when they dont think of them that way contest and their opponent is me

#im such a champion in this catagoryy i thought i cldnt top myself but with the person i saw as one of my closest friends #and my best friend telling me im not their best friend and they dont want to be close anymore #im rly setting the world record in being stupid and niave enough to be so attached to #people while being needy and stupid enough for them to not be as attached to me 😻😻😻😻 #ykw im not doing it anymore! ill stil try to have close friends and ill make it something clear about me #so i dont do to anyone what was just done to me people know ill never think of them as their best friend before theyd ever consider it #but im not fucking. im not putting myself through being so attached to others just to get let down #and idc ik its soo sad poor sweet optomistic person we all love to have as a friend #so we can benefit from their kindness but wed never think of as closely as they think of us is gone #ik its soo sad for all of u tht im not just some stupid kindness spout that wont turn of anymore #but im just done with its not worth it. im always the one getting hurt and im done getting close enough to let it happen again #AND WHO GIVES A SHIT. NO ONE CARES. WHATS THE POINT #THE PERSON WHO I WANTED BY MY SIDE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE #DIDNT EVEN WANNA STAY BY MY SIDE FOR THE WEEKS LEADING TO MY STUPID BIRTHDAY #WHAT EVEN MATTERS ANYMORE. DEFINATLY NOT ME WHATS THE POINT #TELL SOMEONE YOUR MOST. THE TYPE OF THING THATS SO SCARY TO ADMIT TO ANYONE #AND THEY JUST GET RID OF YOU WHEN LIFE GETS DIFFICULT AFTER YOU OFFER TO MAKE IT EASIER #WHO CARES. who cares. whatever im so mad and scared and empty and upset and just #idl how im ever gonna get through this. its just too much to even feel or deal with #flappy rambles #vent

[interlacrimas]

hm, i guess its time for headcanons!! (Since its been a while since ive been here or on tiktok, i thought maybe it would be fun!

Hajime is allergic to peanuts, he never tell anyone because he just assume that it was unnecessary info, till when he ate something kazuichi made to him and he fell on the ground, almost dying

Fuyuhiko HATES yakult, as lactose intorelant, he had to drink it very often, mostly as a child and he absolute hates it

Hajime hates physical touch, but he pretend to like it, Fuyuhiko loves physical touch, but he pretend to hate it

Fuyuhiko can tell if izuru is the one talking easily, sometimes people go and say things like "hajime is acting so different today", he stares and just say "probably because it isnt fucking hajime"

hajime smells just like those baby soaps, he rarely uses perfurme, fuyuhiko like those expensive perfumes, he really likes those, specially the strong ones, but he rarely uses them either, because he is embarassed to

Both have shitty families on different ways (btw, this isnt fully headcanon, most of this topic is in fact canon) fuyuhiko's family is violent, they often fight, to the point of death threats between his parents, he had to grow up in an extremely hostile enviroment. Hajime on the other hand had parents who were neglectful, they probably just didnt care about him, his urge for feeling special probably came from this, hajime's parents wanted a trophy, not a child, and they probably let hajime do a LOBOTOMY because, 1 - he would finally be useful, and 2 - his presence wont be missed

Hajime and fuyuhiko both have a hard time sleeping, they spend the night awake talking to each other, sometimes they fall asleep in the middle of the chat, other times they just spend the whole night awake

hajime loves talking about his interests, but never got the chance to do that, once fuyuhiko found out about this he made hajime talk to him about it for hours, fuyuhiko actually make good commentary about it and seem to actually care and get his excitement, which makes hajime happy

Hajime and fuyuhiko are both overworkers, and always call out for each other, even thought they do the same mistake

Fuyuhiko is totally Japanese, hajime isnt, as thought as he is Japanese descendant, he is also latin American, specifically brazillian, he was on brazil between the age of 0 to 10, he then moved to japan, even if it was pretty early on his life, hajime likes the dishes from his homeland and make fuyuhiko try them, fuyuhiko fell in love with the brigadeiro, which was sweet just like he likes, hajime makes them often for him, sometimes when fuyuhiko is alone at his Office he eats them

Just like fuyuhiko like sweet things, hajime doesnt mind food, but he like bitter and spicy food, like REALLY MUCH, fuyuhiko thinks he is insane to drink Juice without sugar or to eat so many spicy things without a cup of water, i guess hajime's favorite bitter thing is...fuyuhiko! I love this analogy, like hajime is a sweetheart and fuyuhiko like sweets, its only far for the opposite to happen!

hajime when he gets mad he often stop talking and just ignore the person he is mad about, fuyuhiko not only mock him and his angry mood, but he often treat the person equally bad, he didnt even care about the motive, he just did, fuyuhiko didnt ask why he was mad thought, he knew it was frustrating hearing this type of question, but still he says things like "just say how much of a bastard this piece of shit fucking is! I have no idea what this mother fucker done but if youre mad it must been pretty mess up"

They like to watch EVERYTHING togueter, hajime is the type to say "no...please dont do it *character* dont do it youre gonna to die dont do it" for the TV, fuyuhiko is the type to "STOP GOING THERE ASSHOLE YOURE GOING TO DIE, COME BACK. COME BACK." In the end the character die and they both stop talking, but probably thinking the Same thing, that it was the most obvious thing ever

Fuyuhiko relationship with izuru is...weird, they often dont talk, they spend their time in silence, which is often more comforting then scary, fuyuhiko sometimes Braid izuru hair, fuyuhiko is aware izuru is just a repressed version of hajime, even if people try to make them different persons

And for the final headcanon, izuru wakes up early at 9:00 to watch mikudayo show, for some reason he likes it, he watched it in the past, and had a few memories that he didnt remember, so he started to watch those episodes everyday, the first time fuyuhiko saw him doing it was like "huh, hajime what are you doing awake right now" to realize it was izuru, he then see the mikudayo program and gets confused, how could izuru like it, he just silent watched too, fuyuhiko now likes the mikudayo program, he just dont admit to anyone

I HOPE YOU ALL LIKED!

#fuyuhiko kuzuryu #hajime x fuyuhiko #kuzuhina #super danganronpa 2 #interlacrimas #hajime hinata

[our-aplatonic-experience]

does this fit the apl experience? i dont really have a desire to be friends with specific people. once i do happen to make a friend i like hanging out with them on occasion and care about them generally but the idea of getting close to someone really freaks me out. if people talk to me too often i usually have to take a step back because that level of friendship just makes me so uncomfortable. i think this is partly due to some trauma stuff that i wont get into.

still, I do enjoy hanging out sometimes and if I havent spoken to people in a few months or whatever i try to check in on them. because i dont want anyone to think im like mad or dont care about them or anything. but i also dont have a desire to be friends or really get to know anyone specific, and if one of my friends decided they just didnt feel like being friends any more i really wouldnt mind and would even be a little bit relieved- provided it wasnt because i had done something wrong or hurt them or whatever.

does this sound like something on the apl spec?

yeah, i see a few possibilities

it could be caedogreyplatonic, the caedo prefix indicates that you used to be something else but now you are rhe suffix: greyolatonic, and greyplatonic is essentially an umbrella term for anyone on the apl spec

or just greyplatonic if you thing it's not caused by trauma

but use whatever label you eant

#aplatonic #aspec #apples

[soulofamy]

spoilers for tekken 8's story and character endings under the tag! read at your own disgression. these are just my thoughts on it. for transparancy, i likely wont actually be able to purchase and play the game for the foreseeable future so i just watched a playthrough of it instead

so ill start with what i liked. i really liked that, unlike tekken 7, everyone on the roster to some degree was in the main story. i like that a good healthy handful of them even tried their best to aid the efforts against kazuya. it was really nice for me especially to see shaheen get to be cool and heroic. i dont want to hear ANYONE say hes boring ever again, you hear me?

i like the character endings as well, theyre so fun and lighthearted. i liked zafinas and shaheens the most. i surprisingly likes kazuyas and juns too, it makes me think he actually DOES love his wife to an extent. not enough for me to like him as a character unfortunately though lol.

i LOVED angel jin at the end. his design imo was phenominal. i love that they crossed an ethereal, otherwordly monster with a knight and gave him golden angel wings too. it was so visually captivating, i will be looking out for a character sheet to see what distinct features i can point out. i just love that they made an angel design so unique, there was nothing predictable or boring about it.

now things i didnt like

first off, i am SO mad that they killed off zafina AND claudio so early on. they were the two i was most interested to see!! i wanted to see their dynamic together!! but at least zafinas death made a little more sense than claudios. his death did absolutely nothing for the story! i thought maybe that hyper-charged up bolt he shot was going to slowly deteriorate kazuya overtime and weaken him enough that jin could take him one on one or something but NOPE! even zafina i felt didnt need to die. was it ever explained that her life force was connected to azazel? wouldnt it make more sense if she was free to be of MORE use now that azazel isnt holding her back? i never thought i would write tekken fanfiction but they have forced my hand. justice for my faves please </3

they did nothing with leo finding his mother and that makes me sad. its cool we got his dad though, he seems like a cool guy. i wouldnt mind his dad being a new fighter.

steve just kind of dropping the whole thing with nina also upsets me because like if you were going to make the ending to that whole thing so lackluster, why introduce it at all? nina clearly doesnt care and steve just kinda carries on, what was the point? why put nina through such a traumatizing experience of having a child against her will for such little payout?

lastly, i just really could not give two rats toenails about reina im sorry 😭 like visually shes boring. her personality is boring AND annoying. and then they try and make us want more by showing us this heihachi child is ALSO a devil. like i am so tired of the mishima saga that i dont care enough to wonder who her mother is. there are SO many loose ends that havent been tied up yet, i dont want a potential tekken 9 to focus on the mishimas anymore i am on my hands and knees begging

#tekken 8

[drpeppertummy]

it's not just a want but a NEED. a lusty, dusty desire I have for Dark Sunny Lore

You Sicko . The Dark Sunny Lore [warning for illness death suicide self harm child abuse/neglect etc]

his dad never wanted him bc he only wanted 3 kids & sunny was an accidental #4. was always very open about not wanting him bc hes a shitty old bitch

additionally sunny was sick all the time & frequently in the hospital (asthma + other respiratory ailments) & dad was resentful bc he never wanted this sick kid taking up all his time & money

his mom was super loving & wonderful but she died when he was like 12. she died from some kind of respiratory situation & the question of Was It His Fault And Will It Kill Him Too is always in the back of his mind

not long after mom died his dad tried to passively let him die too by refusing to take him to the hospital when he was really sick. his sister giuliana finally took him after coming home from school one day & seeing how awful he looked

was good about being in the hospital as a kid & was always like the nurses little darling bc he was such a sweetie but now has a medical phobia bc in his brain its associated with all that misery & pain & fear

outside of his home life pretty much everyone always liked him & he always had a lot of friends & was popular etc but nothing ever made up for the damage his dad did to him mentally

he knows people like him on a superficial level bc he knows hes cute & charismatic on a superficial level but hes scared that if people get close to him theyll realize hes just annoying & hate him

secretly terrified that his friends hate him & are just tolerating him

prone to bouts of depression, often spirals into a terrible mental state if he stays up late. Night Brain hits hard esp when its mixed with rsd

when he was in college he tried to kill himself by taking a bunch of random medications with a bunch of vodka & it made him sick & knocked him out for a while but miraculously didnt kill him

he woke up in the same spot he left himself in & realized nobody found him or noticed & therefore nobody could care. wanted to tell someone so bad bc he Needed somebody to care & hug him & say they were glad he was alive but he was scared to bc he thought theyd get mad at him or think he was too much or not care since he was "fine" so he just peeled himself off the floor took a shower & went to class like nothing happened. his professor scolded him for coming in hungover

(he eventually told gray about it years later & gray held him & gave him that years-awaited love & care & it was like a soul-healing moment for him)

(gray knows more about him than anybody & he worries about him a lot & sunny feels bad for worrying him but he also appreciates that grays always there for him)

as a kid he would bite himself a lot if he was upset/frustrated/overstimulated & he still does sometimes but only when hes alone. its almost like a reflex & if anyone saw hed be mortified

once in a while tho he like actually cuts himself. if someone asks what happened he gives some absurd excuse like "i got mauled by a bear" & refuses to elaborate bc hes scared & ashamed

hes trying to get better but he almost certainly will attempt suicide again someday. he wont succeed but he Will be so so terrified that his friends are gonna be mad at him for it when he comes to (spoiler: they wont be mad at him)

apart from gray his friends dont know the extent of his mental health problems bc he tries to keep it to himself bc he doesnt wanna worry them & bc hes ashamed & afraid they wont want him anymore. the most they really see of it is him being moody sometimes

once in a while somebody will see him break down over something & they know his dad sucks & they know he misses his mom & they can piece together that hes gotta be hurting but hes usually so bouncy & bubbly & cheery that they dont realize how bad it is

#message #xsunnyx

[buckybraneslover111]

Trust No One p.8 - B.B.

warnings: dark!bucky, 18+, smut, daddy kink, squirting, gun violence, angst.

word: 4,873

series masterlist | taglist |

warning: smut

The next day, you woke up later than usual. It was about 3:30 in the afternoon. You turned over in bed and saw Bucky sleeping with his back to you. You moved closer to him, wrapping your arms around him, kissing his back tattoo. He turned over and wrapped his arms around your neck pulling you close to him. You smiled and kissed his chest looking up at him. He had his eyes closed and his curls were covering his face. You reached up and pushed his curls out of his face and he smiled a little. You caressed his cheek smiling, admiring his beauty. He cuddled you more pulling you in closer putting his head in your neck. You giggled as his hands went down you back. You smiled kissing his head, "Are you busy tonight baby?" you said. He shook his head cuddling you more. "Okay because tonight is Larray's birthday party at Desire. Me, him and Nailea are off tonight to celebrate and a bunch of people are coming and I wanted you to come and enjoy life a little." you smiled as he groaned.

"Sure baby I'll go, someone has to make sure you get home safe." he smirked into your neck.

"I wont drink so much tonight." you smiled massaging his head.

"Its fine baby, you can drink as much you want. Its your friends birthday. Have fun." he smiled.

...

You were getting ready for Larray's party. He told you to dress up 'like a whore', because at the time you were all single and wanted to pick up guys but unfortunately now that you were with Bucky, you couldnt dress up like that. He would kill you and any guy that looked at you, but you decided to anyways to make Larray happy. You knew Bucky was going to be mad about it but you didnt care, you wanted to look good tonight for your friends birthday. You sat down on the toilet and put your heels on then stood up fixing your dress. You finished putting your makeup on and doing your hair. You walked out of the bathroom and saw Bucky laying down on the bed. He was wearing a white button up with the buttons open to his mid stomach, exposing his spider tattoo and chest. He had one hand behind his head and the other on his crotch with his eyes closed. You walked over to your vanity and grabbed your rings and put them on. Your back was to him and he opened his eyes and cleared his throat sitting up on his elbows, "Excuse me, what are you wearing?"

You turned your head and looked at him smiling, "What? Whats wrong with my dress?" you turned completely around and put on your bracelets.

His eyes widen as he saw your boobs almost popping out of your dress, "y/n, you are not wearing that dress.".

You frowned, "Why not? Larray wanted us to dress up like sluts tonight, since at the time i wasnt dating anyone and im trying to make his birthday a good one to remember and im also trying to blackout tonight."

He got off the bed and walked over to you, "Fine, you can wear that, but no sex tonight."

You gasped as if it offended you but you didnt care, putting your hand to you chest, "When..." he looked at you confused, "...did i ask?" you chuckled and shook you head patting his shoulder.

He grabbed your wrist squeezing it, "Dont test me little girl, you will regret it."

"And does it look like i care? You dont have to fuck me tonight, ill get plenty of other.." he grabbed your jaw making you look at him.

"Finish that sentence, i fucking dare you." he frowned at you getting close to your face.

You smirked, trying to see how far you could push him, "i can get plenty of other guys to fuck me tonight."

He frowned and let go of your jaw, "Lets go before i punish you and you dont get to go to the party, y9ou fucking brat." he pushed your towards the door lightly as you grabbed your purse walking out of the bedroom shaking your head.

...

A few hours into the party, you were pretty drunk, not too drunk, but just enough to be a little dazed. You were on the dance floor dancing with Larray and Nai. you looked over and saw Bucky sitting at the table looking right at you, watching your every move. You walked back over to him and smirked. He sat up and fixed his pants looking up at you as he leaned on his knees. You pushed him back and straddled his lap, grabbing his cheeks and leaning down kissing him roughly. He kissed you back trying to keep up with your movements. He put his hands on your ass as you pulled away from him biting his bottom lip sucking on it in your mouth then letting it go. He squeezes your ass then looks you in the eyes, "What are you doing kitten?"

You rubbed his exposed chest, "Nothing daddy. I just think you look so fucking hot and i miss you." you pouted at him.

"I've been here the whole time baby. are you having fun?" he rubs your lower back.

"Yes i am!" you giggle as your favorite song comes on. you gasp and get off his lap, "I have to go dance to this." you walk back to where Larray and Nai were dancing as they hand you another shot and you drank it dancing to the music along with them. You started swaying your hips to the music dancing with them. You felt hands grab your waist and you started to grind your ass on them. You didnt turn around because you figured it with Bucky behind you. Larray and Nai both looked at you and tried pulling you away from the person and you frowned at them, "Hey what the fuck?" you turned around and saw some randon guy standing behind you and you giggled, "Oh shit my bad." you turned away and walked away with them.

"Bucky is coming over. Bucky is coming over." Nai said as they let go of your arms. You turn around and was met with his chest as he grabbed your arms looking at you.

"Say goodbye to your friends, we are going home." he whispered in your ear. You shook your head pulling away from him.

"No i wanna stay, i'm having fun Buck." you pouted and looked up at him. He looked down at you frowning, his face a light pink.

"No, say goodbye and lets go, im not playing around y/n." he whispered in your ear.

"Hey buddy she said she wants to stay, just let her stay." the guy said to him as Bucky let go of you and turned around. You grabbed Bucky’s arm and stood in front of him pushing on his chest.

"Okay okay lets go Bucky." you looked up at him as he was still staring at the guy. "James lets go." you pushed him again and he shook his head grabbing your wrist pulling you towards the table and he grabs his jacket and walks out of the club pulling you with him squeezing your wrist. You sighed, "Bucky, you are hurting me. Bucky stop. Bucky stop!!" you stopped in front of his car and he let go your wrist turning around looking at you. You slapped him in his face and shoved him against his car, "Why do you have to be such an asshole?! Im having fun with my friends and you have to ruin it!" he shook his head and turned back towards you smirking. "Wipe that fucking smirk off your face Bucky! Its not funny! You ruined my fucking buzz!" you shoved him again and he grabbed your wrist again squeezing them as he flips you around pushing your back against the car as he gets close to your face.

"Fucking push me again princess, watch what happens. I didnt ruin anything. You did it by grinding against another guy. If you want to act like a slut, i can treat you like a fucking slut. Is that what you want?! Hmm? You want me to treat you like one?" you blushed as he let go of your wrists and slaps your cheek lightly grabbing your jaw facing you towards him. "Huh? You wanna get fucked like a slut?" he pushed his hard on against your stomach, "See what you do to me princess? Shaking your ass to the music, teasing me the whole night." he turned you around so your chest was against the car as he presses his crotch against your ass. He pulled your hair back as you moaned. He slapped your cheek and spit on your face smearing his spit all over your face ruining your makeup. "I wanna fuck you right here in front of everyone, but you would enjoy that to much." he smirked and opened the door to the passenger seat and pushed you in as you go in. he shut the door and walked to the other side getting in the driver seat. He turned on the car and drove away. You squeezed your legs towards as the tension between your legs was getting to much for you. You felt your wetness soak your panties and drip down your legs. You looked over at Bucky as he was clenching and unclenching his jaw forcing on the road.

"Buck...?" you said softly.

"Hmm?" he looked over at you then back at the road, "Whats wrong kitten?"

"C-Can i give you head?" you said quietly pouting.

He smirked and reached down taking his cock out of his pants, "Go ahead. Its not getting you out of your punishment but go right ahead." you leaned over and kitten licked his tip tasting his precum, "Oh no princess come on, you can take it." he grabs your hair and pushes your head down his cock moaning. His tip hitting the back of your throat, "Holy shit." he started moving your head up and down his cock as you gagged on the tip. Your eyes started to tear up and run down your face ruining your mascara. You moaned around his cock sending vibrations through it as he moved your head faster on his cock. He moaned trying to focus on the road as he pulled you off. You coughed a little as salvia was running down your chin and connected from your bottom lip to his tip. You took him back into your mouth bobbing your head fast stroking the rest that couldnt fit in your mouth. He pulled into the driveway of his house and parked the car, grabbing your head with both hands holding you still as he started thrusting his hips up into your mouth. He moaned as you gagged on his tip, "Fuck yes! Fuck! Swallow my fucking cum bitch!" he threw his head back as he stopped his movements cumming in your mouth. You grabbed onto his seat as you swallowed his cum. You pulled off and gasped for air sitting back in your seat. He grabbed your hair and pulled you into a kiss tasting himself on your tongue. "Mmm i fucking love you baby." he put his cock away as he got hard again and got out of the car. You got out and ran to the door opening it up and taking off your heels running up the stairs to his room. "You better be naked on that bed when i get up there." you blushed and ran into his room and threw your shoes to the side and took off your dress, pulling off your panties and you got on the bed getting on your knees sticking your ass in the air as you buried your head in the pillows waiting for him. You heard the door open and him chuckle, "Wow look at you princess." you swayed your hips from side to side whining. You heard his belt come off and you turned around looking at him, "Hey did i say you could look? Get back down." you whined loudly and put your head back down on the pillows, biting your lip waiting for him. You felt the bed dip on the side of you as you felt a hard smack on your ass cheek. You moaned loudly as another came down harder than the first. You gripped the sheets as your legs were soaked in your juices. You gasped loudly then moaned loudly as Bucky leaned in and started licking your clit fast. He spread your legs wider as his nose poked at your entrance. He sucked on your clit swirling his tongue around your clit.

"B-Buck! Ohmygod! Can i cum?!" you moaned loudly as he pulled away from you spitting on your soaked core then licking it up, "Please! Please can i cum?!" he teased your entrance with his tongue shaking his head. You whined loudly pushing your hips back against him as his tongue slid into you. You moaned loudly as he wiggled his tongue in you. He pulled out and went down sucking on your clit again, "Please Bucky!! Im begging you! I wanna cum!" you started to cry out loud tears running down your face. Your legs started to shake as you felt your orgasm coming with full force, "I'm cumming! Bucky! Wait no!" you cried out loudly as he pulled away from you, ruining your orgasm for you. You pushed your hips back towards his face and he smirked sitting up on his knees. He wiped his chin as your juices were dripping from it. Your thighs and core were completely soaked from your wetness. You were breathing heavily from your crying.

"Why are you crying? You deserve every second of this punishment. So take it like a good girl and i will give you your reward okay?" he smirked smacking your ass as you nodded, "I need words kitten."

"Y-Yes da-daddy, ill be good." you nodded.

"Good, now let daddy eat you again, and dont cum until i tell you okay?" he went back down and you felt his breath against your core.

"Okay daddy." you moaned loudly as he started licking your clit again. You gripped the sheets harder as your orgasm started to come at you again but a lot quicker. He slid two fingers into you as you started to pull away from him, getting to overstimulated, your legs shaking, "No! No! I will cum if you do that daddy!" he lips deattach from you and he growls smacking your cheek.

"Hey! Stop fucking pulling away! I dont care!" he pulls you back towards him and sucks on your clit thrusting his fingers against your gspot fast. You screamed loudly in pleasure and pulled away from him again and he pulled away from you completely. He flipped you over so you were laying on your back and he got up right in your face wrapping his hand around your neck, "What the fuck did i say about pulling away from me while im eating you out?! Hmm? Stop fucking doing that! I'm giving you what you want you fucking want you slut and you pull away from me! Stop doing that! You know what?! Since you wanna be a fucking brat! You dont get to cum at all! Is that what you want?!"

You shook your head fast as tears ran down your cheeks, "N-No daddy, please. Ill be good im sorry! Ill be good!" you started to cry, "I just want to cum! Please!" he started to feel bad for you. You were begging him to cum and he wasnt letting you, but on the other hand, you deserved this punishment. You were grinding on another guy at the club and you shouldnt have.

He let go of your throat, "Hey hey do you need me to stop? Just say the word and we can stop baby." he wiped your tears and you shook your head.

"N-No, i want to take my punishment like a good girl." you blushed looking up at him. He smirked, he loved how submissive you were to him.

"Okay baby, you can use that word whenever you want and I will stop okay?" he rubbed your cheek and you nodded, "Okay, im gonna go back and let you finish okay? Just tell me when you are close." you nodded again as he got between your legs spreading them wide. He leaned in and sucked on your clit as you arched your back off the bed moaning loudly.

"Please! Buck! Ohmygod!" you grabbed his hair pulling him in closer moaning louder. He licked your clit faster, your orgasm just around the corner, "I'm gonna cum! Please! Please!" he sucked on your clit hard as you arched your back off the bed more, throwing your head back between the pillows, the grip on his hair tighten as you pulled him closer, your legs tightening around his head as you came all over his tongue, moaning loudly as your legs shook around his head. "Oh my god! Thank you daddy! Thank you!" he pulled away from you and wiped his chin smirking.

"You taste so good baby." he flipped you over again, and pulled your hips up so you were sitting on your knees. He rubbed his tip against your soaked core as your cum and his precum mixed together. You moaned gripping the sheets under you as he slammed his cock into you, grabbing your hips thrusting his hips hard. "Mmmm you are so tight baby fuckkk." he threw his head back thrusting into you harder. You threw your head back moaning loudly pushing your hips back against his. "Mmm thats it baby fuck yourself on my cock!" he reached down and grabbed your hair pulling you back onto his cock making your ass bounce on him. "Mmmm so fucking good baby! So. fucking. Good." he slammed into you harder as his tip hits your gspot. You screamed out loud pushing your hips back more, more tears running down your face.

"Yes! Yes! Fuck yes! Im gonna cum on your cock! Please!" you slammed your hips back against him. The sound of skin slapping and your moans echoing throughout the room. You didnt hear the door open to the room as your eyes were closed as Bucky slammed into you harder. Bucky turned his head looking at the person at the door and smirked. He grabbed your hips tightly holding you still as he thrusted into you as hard as he could, pushing you further into the bed pillows, "Bucky! Buck! Slow down!! Please! Im cumming! Im cumming!" you screamed loudly in pleasure as you squirted all over him and the bed. He pushed into you as deep as he could fit and came in you hard groaning. He pulled out and washed your cum mix with his. He smirked and looked up at the person as the door.

"Did you enjoy the show?"

Bucky smirked as you turned over laying on your back then sitting up, looking at him confused, "What?" you looked at the person at the door and blushed hard covering yourself with the sheets, "Were you watching the whole time?"

"No, but i'm not sure why Bucky invited me...?" Liam looked between the both you.

"Oh right i need that gun back that i gave you, i have a better one for you." Bucky puts on his boxers and gets out of bed. you blushed and covered yourself with the sheets. Bucky put his hair in a small ponytail and walked over to his gun safe. Liam followed him and placed the gun on the table. Liam looked over at you and shook his head. you frowned at him, and then smirked. you wanted to get liam mad and you wanted him to know who fucked you better. you made you cum every night.

"Hey baby when you get a second i have to ask you a question." you looked at Bucky’s back.

he nodded and opened the safe. he took out a gold medal Beretta M9 and handed it to Liam, "It's not load, you can ask my buddy down at the gun shop on route 3 that Bucky sent you and you need bullets for that. he will hook you up." he took back the other gun and put it in the safe locking it.

liam nodded and put the gun in his back pocket, "thanks man, i'll see you tomorrow." he walked towards the door as Bucky looked over at you.

"What's up baby?" he smiled at you walking back towards the bed.

"Can we go another round? i'm still feeling horny daddy." you smirked at him.

"Oh yeah?" he got on the bed getting between you legs, "you gonna be a good girl and let daddy fuck you right?" he smirked pulling the covers off of you. you looked over at liam who was standing at the door about to close it, he looked up at you frowning. you looked back at Bucky smirking.

"Fuck me daddy." you giggled as Bucky attacked your neck with kisses as liam shut the door walking away.

...

You woke up the next morning and turned around meeting with Bucky’s chest. You cuddled him close kissing his chest, he was still sleeping. You smiled and pulled away from him slowly, his arms falling off your body as you got off the bed grabbing his white button down shirt putting it on and buttoning it up. You walked downstairs to the kitchen and looked in the fridge for food. You heard someone walking into the kitchen. You shut the door to the fridge and looked at Steve and smiled, "Good morning Steve. you want anything to eat? Im making eggs and pan-..." you were cut off by Liam walking in behind him. You gulped as Steve walked pasted you and nodded.

"Yeah i'll take some pancakes y/n." he grabbed a bottle of water and handed it to Liam. You turned back to the fridge and took out the food and put it on the counter. You tried to ignore Liam but as Steve walked out, Liam stayed in the kitchen with you. You felt his eyes burning in your back as you started to cook food.

"Does he fuck you like i do?" liam smirked.

You flipped him off and continued to cook.

"Oh come on Lilly, you know no one can make you cum like i can. You know that shirt is see through right? You still have a phat ass." he smirked and came up behind you pushing you against the counter as you felt his hard on against your ass. You pushed him away and slapped him in the face.

"Dont fucking touch me! Get out!" you started to tear up, "Get! The! Fuck! Out!"

"Hey! Hey! What the fuck is going on in here?!" Steve walked in and looked at both of you then notices your tears on your cheeks, "Y/N whats going on? Are you okay?"

You looked at Steve and shook your head, "Please can you tell him to leave? I'm trying to cook." you quickly wiped your cheeks turning back around to cook the pancakes.

"Liam, come on man, Bucky has work for you to do." Steve said as Liam walked out of the kitchen scoffing. Steve walks up to you and taps your shoulder, you jumped a little and turned around sighing, "You okay y/n? You literally look scared."

"Yeah, i'm fine. Just..." you sighed, "I wanna tell you, but you cant tell Bucky. You have to promise me Steve?"

"Of course y/n. Whats going on?" he looked at you concerned. You shut off the stove and sat down on the island chair and looked at him.

"Promise me you wont tell Bucky?" you looked at him

"I wont, i promise."

You nodded, "My name really isnt y/f/n Blanco, its Lilly Blanco. I used to live in Las Vegas, but moved out here because of Liam. He is my ex boyfriend, but he is a psycho. Like he is crazy. He used to stalk in high school and i didnt know and thought he was this cute guy. Then when we started to date, he was acting so weird. Then i found on his laptop pictures of me like in my shower and in my room. He was completely obsessed with me. When i turned 18, me and my dad moved here to L.A., i changed my name, my hair, everything, just to get away from him. And its been almost 2 years since ive seen him. First time i saw him, was at my work and Bucky invited him to the table. I didnt want to tell him because i didnt want to cause a scene. And now that Liam is Bucky’s right hand man, i cant do anything. I cant tell Bucky, he will lose it Steve." you looked at him as he was staring at you.

"Wow, just wow. I mean what are you to do. Youre right, you cant tell Bucky. Not yet at least. Listen, i wont tell him but you need to tell him soon, before something happens."

You nodded as Steve walked out of the kitchen. You sighed and rubbed your head. How are you going to tell Bucky that the guy he just hired, is your psycho ex boyfriend, who threatened to kill both of you. You got up from the chair and turned around and saw Liam standing by the door pointing the gun at you. You gulped and backed up against counter, "L-Liam please." you could see his hand shaking and he was sweating.

"Why did you lie to him?! Hm?! Why did you fucking lie to him Lilly!?" he had tears coming down his face.

"I-I didnt lie to him Liam! I told him the truth! You are fucking crazy!" you started to shake getting scared.

"Liam, what are you doing?!" Steve walks up behind him and Liam turns around and pointed the gun at Steve and he put his hands up, "Woah woah, Liam put the gun down."

"No! She fucking lied to you! None of that is true! We were in love! She loved me before she loved that fucking asshole Bucky!" Liam turned back around looking at you still pointing the gun at Steve, "Tell him Lilly! Tell him you loved me!" you shook your head tears running down your face.

"You wanna know something crazy? That i let you inside of my fucking house, and i give you my fucking guns and you are here pointing a gun at my girlfriend and my best friend! Put down the gun and no one gets hurt, simple." Bucky was standing next to Steve as they were both pointing guns at him, Liam turned and looked at both, he gulped, "So, now you have two choices. One, you can get the fuck out of my house and leave me and Y/N alone, or you can get the fuck out of my house in a body bag. Its up to you, Liam." Liam slowly walked backwards towards you and he grabbed you by the waist and held you in front of him, blocking himself with your body and pointed the gun to your head. He put his arm around your neck to keep you from moving. You gasped and held onto his arm as it was slightly choking you.

"If im leaving, shes coming with me." liam was shaking.

"You see, i cant let you do that. So you either let her go or i kill you." Bucky frowned still pointing the gun at him with Steve.

"No! Fuck you! She loves me! Tell him Lilly, tell him you love me!" he had tears running down his face as you shook your head.

"Yeah, Lilly come on tell him you love him. Go ahead! Tell him!" Bucky said. You started to cry shaking your head.

"N-No! I dont love him!" you cried.

"No, come on Lilly tell him! Tell him you love him." Bucky smirked at you, "You know Lilly told me last night that she was still in love with you! Crazy right?!" you shook you head crying.

"No i dont!" you started shaking crying. Liam looked at you then at Bucky.

"Really? She said that." Liam said shaking.

"Yeah, told me all about you and her. She really loves you Liam. Come on Lilly tell him." he shook his head smirking.

"Fine! Fine! I love you Liam!" you cried.

"Tell him, you hate him. Tell him how much you love me Lilly." liam said pushing the gun at your head."I hate you Bucky! I hate you! I love you Liam! Please!" you started crying hard. Liam let go of you as you moved away from him then heard a shot and your eyes went wide looking down at your white shirt turning red…

.........................................

taglist: @raevyng @winterslove1917 @oops-aquarius @milea @missvelvetsstuff @beth-jayne @fangirlfree @heartsthatache @hi-im-fan-trash @yourmomsdelimeatshop @prettywhenicry4 @cjand10 @brownlee-22

#steve rogers x bucky barnes #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes x reader #bucky fluff #bucky x female reader #sebastian stan #bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky fanfic #sebastian x reader #sebastian x y/n #bucky x reader #daddy!bucky barnes #bucky barnes smut #bucky imagine #bucky smut #bucky x you #winter soldier #james buchanan barnes #dark!bucky smut #dark bucky x reader #dark!bucky x you #dark!bucky barnes #dark!fic #trust no one #mafia trilogy #bucky mafia series #mafia

[pezpenser205]

i dont think manipulating people is bad when youre doing it to help them. that sounds insane so let me elaborate. my youngest sibling is wary about everything he asks for to a fault because growing up autistic is hell so he feels like he cant ask questions things without being bad, including stuff related to his basic needs like food and clothing. he thinks hes inherently a bother by asking for anything. he says he has no clothes, he hasnt asked our parents for any. hes capable of asking, and knows how to, he just hasnt established in his mind that communicating his needs actually makes it easier for everyone else. if i just say "you need clothes, you should ask dad im sure he'll get you some" he'll suffer through it and ignore me because He doesnt care about Himself. but if i phrase it as "you should really ask him for some clothes. i promise he wont be mad. if anything he'll be more mad if he finds out you were out of clothes and didnt ask, because it makes him feel insecure about his parenting. you dont want that do you?" and suddenly him not taking the steps to communicate his needs is causing Others problems instead of it being an exclusively self deprecating thing. its obviously not a permanent solution to anyones issues but honestly if youre dealing with someone who cant do the bare minimum it takes to stay alive like i am its for sure a good starting point. say what you will about guilt tripping people over their behavior but it works.

#op

[minjiarchive]

EXCUSES : jiu x (fem!reader)

a/n: this story makes me wanna AHGHFHDHF

-

"ill be in a room with gahyeon!" dami announced, leaving minji and you to be in a hotel room together. the girls knew minji had a crush on you so they tried every way possible to leave you two alone together.

her face flustered, shes never been your roommate but she is now. they purposely didnt choose you or minji to be their roommate and even worst, when you both walked into the room, there was only one single bed. no two separate beds or anything like that, just one for you and minji to sleep in.

-

it was coming close to midnight and minji was still awake. her thoughts have been keeping her all night, she isnt exactly mad at the members for putting you together because this is her chance to pull a move without being teased by anyone.

"y/n? are you awake?"

"yes! im awake, whats up?"

she took a moment and hoped that you wont find what shes gonna ask you weird but it was now and never.

"i cant sleep and i always hug a pillow whenever i sleep, it helps me fall asleep. i dont anything to hold so, can i hold you?" she bit her lip, her mind blanked and anticipated for an answer. minji wasnt shy but when it comes to her crush, she'll get nervous more than anything.

"you know i want to take care of you, minji. nothing you do will bother me, and actually i find you cute to ask me. you can hold me or cuddle me whatever you perfer, im fine with it always."

her heart almost exploded, your comforting words is always something she wants to hear. her arms wrapped around your waist and your back rested on her stomach. she was being gentle at first not wanting anything to make you uncomfortable.

"you dont have to be so shy with me sweetheart, you know that right?"

#dreamcatcher imagines #dreamcatcher scenarios #dreamcatcher #dreamcatcher x reader #dreamcatcher jiu #jiu scenarios

[emperornero]

animal / pet death talk and suicidal themes.

my dog passed away an hour ago. hes been feeling worse and worse over the last month and i knew he will be gone soon but it still hurts. i dont know what was wrong. he was very old and just stopped eating and had problems walking it was normal for a dog this age thats going to die soon. i was with him when he was dying. i remember when we bought him and i held him and hugged him when we were taking him home by car. he was a lovely dog and a friend to me despite me not really being able to walk him on my own. bernese mountain dogs are very strong and i wasnt able to do that. especially when i was a kid. my father didnt want to pay for training him so i tought him only basic commands . he didnt want to pay for vet visits. didnt pay for dog food. now he doesnt even want to pay for the burial. if anyone notices that he burried the dog on his own we will be fined and have to call a professional anyways. that will cost almost 2000 zł. i cant call a vet myself. he will be angry and make me pay for everything and i dont want to lose the money i need now. i dont know what to do. if this causes problems my father will be mad and more abusive than usual. i dont want to suffer more. i dont want my family to ever be in a situation like tjis again. i dont even have therapy for next 2 weeks because my therapist is sick and my father wont let me see one that iwould have to pay to visit. my sessions are free but if they dont happen i just miss them and cant get any other help. its been like 3 weeks since ive seen my therapist im not on my meds ive been suicidal so often lately i dont know why does he hate me so much why wont be help me at least with this he has money for it he just doesnt want to spend it on me and my mom and broyher and others he could pay for it but he doesnt care its all worse because of him im in therapy because of him

[aikapwq]

please dont leave.

modern!xiao x gn reader (no specified pronouns)

warnings ; a lil bit of swearing, angsty

today, your boyfriend, xiao, was out playing with his friends. you didnt really have a good mood. it isnt because of your boyfriend or anything — it was because of one of your so called "friend". you've posted on your whatsapp status that you dont want anyone disturbing you because of your bad mood today — and that "friend" kept bugging you trying to figure out what happened and what caused your bad mood.

" y/n, tell me what happened! tell me! or you dont wanna tell me because.. maybe i am the problem? " they asked.

" can you not? im rly trying to calm down rn and youre literally making it worse. " you replied with slight anger

" cmon, just tell me. it wont hurt! " they replied in confusion.

" i literally js told you i dont wanna share anything. do you not fucking understand? just shut the fuck up already. please stop talking to me. " you replied in complete anger. what the fuck is her problem???

after that they finally stopped disturbing you. you felt relieved, but — you have an active channel in telegram where you update everything in your life, the channel's only for your internet friends that are on tele. you were literally so mad you typed angrily,

" why the fuck are they so annoying?? ive already told them to stop talking to me because im already in a bad mood and they wont fucking leave me alone. fucks sake why cant they understand someone isnt comfortable to share their problems out of force. "

you typed a few more paragraphs then finally stopped and turned off your phone. you wanted to get some rest until—

beep! you have received a notification from: "lover 🤍"

"oh, a text from him! lemme see what he said." you thought. you opened your phone to see a long paragraph from him. you wondered - why the sudden long paragraph? and read it, it said,

" hey— um, y/n. i saw your message in the channel, is that directed to me? im sorry if i annoy you too much. i didnt know you were in a bad mood, i shouldnt have talked to you. ill give you some space. but um, yeah. take care of yourself, im coming back late at night. dont stay up too late. goodnight. "

you were shocked. wait— those messages arent even directed to him! why did he think of that in the first place?! there, you were shaking and crying, trying to text him with a blurry vision because of the tears,

" wait— xiao wait— xiao please dont leave me. xiao, xiao please answer. xiao- xiao please dont leave. please, please dont leave. pick up. please just respond i need you! "

you were quite surprised no typos were made despite your blurry vision, but that wasnt the point — today was tbe day your mood wasnt good, and you ruined your own boyfriend's mood because of your vent texts. god you fucked up so bad because today was the day you needed him so bad and yet, you ruined his day too.

xiaos pov;

65 unread texts, 2 missed calls. god, who was spamming me this bad? ill check later.

around 20 minutes later he finally opened his phone to 78 missed texts, 4 missed calls from " 我的爱 🦋" jeez. what do they even want from me?

as i read her texts, i realised she was kinda getting on my nerves.

" xiao?? xiao, xiao please just answer me— " were the only texts i read. too lazy to read the rest. i respond,

" what? "

your pov:

" oh hes online, finally. " you said quietly.

" what? " was the only text you received. did— did he not care anymore?..

" xiao, please just scroll above. i explained everything. i just— nvm just, please look at those messages.. i understand if you need some space and dont wanna talk to me rn. when you come home, sleep on the bed, dont carry me on the bed or smth, im sleeping outside lol. have fun wit your friends. night, im going to sleep. "

you knew damn well you werent. youre overly attached, so when every single minute passes by, you check your phone to see if youve gotten any texts from him. unfortunately there wasnt anything from him. well, youve promised to give space to him anyway. its practically pointless now knowing he wont respond. you should probably just cry to sleep. maybe things will get better tomorrow.

:: a/n — hiii i felt abit angsty today so i um kinda tried writing angst wirh my creativity ig. some of these things are based on true events lolol. oh, thanks for the attention on my Xiao hcs btw ^^ love yall ❤️ please consider reblogging/ liking this post if you like it! follow me too btw :") okiess bye !!

#xiao x reader #xiao angst #genshin impact #fanfics #gaming #Spotify

[cummingforkylo]

*on vacation with just my mom and dad*

me: -hungry, overstimulated, and very autistic trying to figure out lunch for myself because my food needs are different from my parents and also been traumatized around needing food and too scared to ask for it- h-hey could we stop up at the smashburger? I’ll order ahead of time and just run in and grab it

mom: what? uhh I mean...do you need that?  I mean yeah i guess. dad can you stop at the smashburger cause carlyn wants to order some food

dad: what? no. even though its on the way home i’m going to irrationally say no before even thinking.

me: oh yeah its okay, you’re right. 

mom: well she’s just trying to get herself lunch

dad: theres food at home

mom: true.

me: -people pleasing autistic silence- um yeh its okay, no. its fine.

me: -more and more pissed because they would have stopped for anyone else in our family, just not me- 

*at the condo* 

me: -very grumpy goes into room with all my stuff and shuts door to make sure i dont snap at anyone and can just be alone-

me: *a while later* -comes out to get food cause i’m literally shaking with hunger then goes back into room-

*a long time later*

mom: YOU ARE SO MEAN AND RUDE FOR GOING INTO YOUR ROOM ALL DAY AND NOT EXPLAINING WHY YOU WERE SO PISSED OFF

Me: I was just trying to take care of myself and its no big deal, i’m not even mad any more.

mom: WELL I AM! YOU COULD HAVE SAID SOMETHING! 

me: well when i complain that i didnt get the food i wanted, i have gotten mocked for it in the past. so. 

mom: YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD US YOU WERE GOING TO YOUR ROOM ALL DAY! NOW I WONT MAKE SUPPER AND I WILL BE PISSED AT YOU ALL NIGHT LONG. -leaves-

dad: well you owe us an explanation of why you were so pissed off

me: I wasn’t even mad at her

dad: well she thinks you were

me: thats not my fault, is it?

dad: well you need to fix it

me: HOW IS THAT MY RESPONSIBILITY!!?

Now again there will be no food i want to eat, everyone will continue to be pissy at me and I wanna die. I know this isnt kylo and ugh

i’m going to retreat eventually and play mario kart and write smut maybe. Stupid fucking vacation. my brother and sister in law cant get here fast enough.

#not kylo #she speaks

[minccinoocappuccino]

Out of all twst characters why leona? (genuine)

ahhhh well tbh when i started playing it was Kalim n Ruggie that were my number one but after hearing Leona's backstory i was like yes this is the man for me (i actually started twst on chap 2 i skipped chap 1 cus i wanted to see Ruggie sjsjsjssj) so Leona means a lot to me cus his struggles i understand v v well n its crazy how close it is to mine sjsjsjsjsj uhhh gonna talk about sort of mental stuff so just a heads up to anyone reading My sister is 15 years older than me which is around the same age difference at Leona n his older brother My sister was the straight a golden child my mom clearly had a fav n it fucked me n my other sister up bad n self esteem n it still affects our lives today nothing i did was good enough cus my oldest sister already did it n better so mom never cared when i was 13 (near or same age as leona when cheka was born) my sister had a baby n oh boy it was terrible mom acted like me n my other sister didnt exist this baby was her pride n joy n they keep trying to push the baby onto me n make me love her a watch her n stuff which just made me distance more from them (which is y leonas sister n law mad wrong for always gettting on leona for family thing with cheka) like i would have came around way faster f they let me go at my own pace n while im def better with it now when i see leona i see myself i know how he feels i know how depressing n unwanted it makes u feel n i get the inferiority complex it gives u n how u just wanna give up cus like u know what u do isnt gonna b good enough u tried n didnt get anything from it so u just stop n dont want to do anything

n while i do find leona hot like i said at first he wasnt my fav i get his struggle n i love how smart he is n how he hides how he feel cus i do that do my friends all say im a mix between ruggie n leona so i def feel a lot for him cus i understand y he does some of the things he does not saying hes n the right but i can understand his though process i think the chap 2 did do bad writing some things out n ppl def dont give him as much lead way as they do other characters that did the same VIl but u can def see his personality n events n cards he acts like he doesnt care but leona cares alot n that eats at him he wants to act indifferent but even ruggie calls him out for not being honest n i love that ;-; I think savanclaw is a good thing for him cus while he wont admit it he is happy he has a place where he feels he belongs n feels wanted there his coalition n i love that for him ahh ;-; sorry i hope this isnt to long or winded i really have lots to say about leonas character n stuff also idk y ppl keep stepping on his tail u would think going to a school with beastmen would make u watch where ur walking more often

#ask

[night-rhea]

I need to vent a bit, i really do. Its about my beloved Simping Server.

U may not want to hear about it, which is i respect. İf thats the case, have a nice day✨

İ love that server. Let me make that clear. I put a lot of affort for it and i had amazing time in there.

As a mod, i apologize if i let you down in some ways. İm trully sorry if i did. İm saying 'if i did' because honestly i have no idea if i did or not. İn my opinion i failed in some ways but no one reached out to me about it, so i cant be sure.

Server is really quiet for a long time. Many friends left.

Firstly i wanna say im glad they did. Because they choose to leave to focus on theirselves. Group chats are often overwhelming, and takes so much time effort etc etc. İm glad they choose to do what was good for them. İ really am. İ still love them and still support them.

İ am also not mad about server being quiet. Personally, the hphm game itself continue to ruin my motivation for creating a concept for my own oc's for it. Sometimes its really overwhelming that i want to leave it all. How can i be mad about people leaving when i myself started to moving on? Obv, i cant.

İts okay, i tell myself, they choose to move on and its okay.

That doesnt erase the good times we had together there, does it?

Ofc, i know only reason people left is not because of hphm itself, but the problems we faced.

İ am not here to bring it up everything again, but i really need to tell how i feel, i need to let it out.

Like all problems, the ones we faced also had many sides. And from bottom of my heart, i am sorry for both sides having to live through that. Misunderstanding, acting before thinking or simply making mistakes. İt was hard for everyone.

Somes decided to stay away from each other. Which is, i dare to say, the bravest choise. İ am proud of people being able to block someone. Now dont think im being dramatic. Fandoms are places to be enjoyed. İf blocking someone makes ur experience here a lot better, do it right away. İ swear im not mad at people who blocked me in past and i wont be mad if somes block me in future.

İ dont hate anyone. İm not angry to anyone. İ accept my mistakes. And i hope the ones that was mad at me can understand me now.

İ know most of us already moved on, so why bring it up again right?

İ have been in fandom for two years now. Not so long, but not so short either. All that time i was proud of myself for being calm and kind to everyone.

Well until today at least. I never know myself talking to someone like that, and that wasnt even so rude or anything!

İ know that person will understand im talking about them, which is good. And please dont make it obv that its you. İts not personaly about you now. İts about me.

Like i said today, i felt really angry. Maybe that person doesnt really understand why.

I was mad because i was failing to protect my friends from some drama again.

İ am not acting like there were no drama in that server. İm not acting like everything was perfect and "my" server was perfect. No it wasnt. İm not perfect, it cant be perfect either.

İ need you guys to at least know that the server stressed me so fucking much. Gave me anxiety attacks, made me leave tumblr for a while.

İm not saying it was your fault. İm saying it to let you know i was effected by it too.

İ came to understanding that i am looking like i didnt care much. That i "choose a side" in problems we had in there. That i am judging people. None of them was the case. None.

İ wish i can explain how guilty i feel about every single bad thing happened here. İt feels like my fault. Because i gathered people here i was the mod here etc etc. Even if i know not everything was my fault, i still feel like it. That has been eating me inside. Thats why i wanted to apologize over and over again.

İm trying to be a nice person, and i guess thats all i can do.

Only thing i feel sad about is how i lost contact with some people who left. But thats on me because im really anxious about dming people. So i cant blame anyone if im the one who doesnt reach out to them and let them know i still appreciate their friendship.

Thank you if you read all of that. İ hope i didnt make you even more uncomfortable, that definitely not what i am trying to do. İ just wanted to let it out, so i can move on.

I hope you guys will have an amazing day/night. And i hope i will see you with my not-vent posts 💜

#naz's shit post #vent post

[star-firework]

if twit is gone, i will have to use a blog like a real blog.

so anyway,

im a warehouse manager now and i got an employee who i feel like im in an abusive relationship with

he out of nowhere said "so some fat, ugly Samoan man won a miss america pagent and he identifies as a woman and you KNOW no one believes that shit!" and that caught my ear and made me stop and ask him why he brought that up cuz there was just no relation to what we were doing

he got defensive and when i asked him to not talk about things like that (cuz we just hired a new guy we dont know his opinions and also its not allowed int he work place!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) the moterhfucker yelled at me and told me that IM "the problem and silencing" his opinions

i asked him to not use combative language and then he said "YOURE using combative language!!!" like a toddler yelling at his mom

i felt like i was on fox news or something, dude listened to so much joe rogan, he just melted in front of my eyes?

i was especially 'triggered' because my recently viral-on-reddit-infamous-homeless-attacking-ex-boss deany boy used to go on long, endless, anti trans rants when i was the only one working with him and i waslike what the fuck!!!!!!!!!! the fuck you care so cuking much about trans people in everything, shut up you old bastard dean

your donuts made my stomach hurt and you keep cream cheese in the fridge so long it turns green and when i went to throw it out, you told me to wipe off the green mold and put it back. you also keep the raw bacon on the top of the fridge of everything definitely not raw. you reuse gravy for days on end to the point i think theres weeks old gravy still being eaten. your wife broke 3 crock pots out of anger for some mundane thing and acted like a high school mean girl when she was in charge and made us remop a floor up to like 4 times because she didnt like how there was a "sheen" on the floor.

anyway

my employee just fucuking blew up at me and then he walked out and didnt return for 3 hours, i was at the point of thinking "well ok, guess he actually just quit?"

He returned and didnt talk to me and left without a word. The next day he called out and only said: "Sick. Out. Indefinitely."

What the hell does indefinitely mean after a blow up?

Poor choice of words or a bad way to vaguely quit?

i told HR and made them call him after he didnt text or show up the next day

i was ready to move on and already got an interview set up to fill in when we are already in crisis mode at work lol

then the bastard texts me at 5 when im about to go home and he is furious that HR was calling him. he said "if you have a problem you say it to my face, im coming in tomorrow sick or not"

i felt threatened and scared because when he gets mad, he gets mad and testosterone fueled rage and i dont know if he would get physical

he also was like "am i supposed to be looking for another job!?"

i was so scared of his reaction i was thankfully able to call hr and have her walk me thru how to text this maniac back

i really dont want to work with him ESPECIALLY now

but somehow the company wont fire anyone so this behavior is still cool and no one has balls, i dont have balls and guess i have to continue workingand managing a manchild who is going to be set off at anything

i also have to somehow figure out how to get a meeting with him, me and HR without it sounding liek an interogation because he is so easily defensive

we were cool and i have even been to his house and met his wife and had beers with him and another manager and then it felt like in one instance it just got all washed away because he wanted to rant about trans people?????????

i am so confused!

i also have thrown up soooooooo much this past year from stress, jfc. im finally losing weight but from a very very bad reason and very very unhealthy way that is painful aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

still dont know whats gonna happen since this dude is planning on coming back tomorrow and i have an interview w someone we meant to replace him after he was MIA

#blogpost #me thinkin cuz no twitter #warehouse life

[vonschweetz]

Reasons I’m killing it at the Cool Aunty Club and better than my parents:

I remember my niece’s name and respect it enough to use it and not “jokingly” get it wrong or make up bullshit nicknames (I know my mom isnt gonna cut that shit out even though I had a talk with her about how mad disrespectful that is and she got mad at ME because she keeps calling me by a stupid as shit nickname that isnt funny or a joke and I told her to cut it out and she has gone to the point of hacking stuff like my netflix profile and changing my name)

I’m the only one beside my sister who is able to spell my niece’s name correctly (because I actually listen to my sister when she talks about it and like… honestly it’s not hard at all. Everyone else in my family is being an asshole)

I was the only one who wasnt trying to cheat or weasel their way into finding out the fender before the reveal and NOT trying to ruin the reveal because my dad was the only one who knew and didnt give a shit about making an effort and multiple times almost either told because he didnt want to put the effort into planning the reveal (literally me and my sis had to go to party city and give the info to the workers blindly and do all the work for him so all he dad to do was pick up the supplies and he still almost fucked that up)

Like seriously I do not understand what is so hard for anyone in my family NOT to be an asshole! Like this is a baby we are talking about! A BABY! They are somehow already actively trying to ruin this kid’s life and my sister’s experience and Im not fucking standing for it. I dont care if my parents think im an asshole at this point im very protective over this kid and im not letting her have the childhood I had. I wont let it happen again on my watch.

#feeling vonversational #like im EARNING my cool aunt card!