#i don't think all of them are rich-rich? at least not the local kids

[bruciemilf]

I think a " No Robins" AU would be really cool, because while yes, there's no Batman without Robin, can you IMAGINE the cuteness?

By " no robin" I don't mean the boys (Dick and Jason, but later everyone else) stay home, completely unaware of their Goth rat father fighting crime. They absolutely know he's batman and they ABSOLUTELY want kicks in.

But Bruce won't just let his children dive head first in Gotham’s crime pool. So he does what he does best; Pretend.

" B! Are we there yet?"

" Almost. Finish your chocolate milk so Jason can finish his."

" He's always copying me!"

" No I'm not!"

" nO iM nOt, "

Jason kicking his little legs in the child seat? Adorable. "B!"

Bruce is simply blocking this out. He's been driving in circles for two hours and when they finally fall asleep, he takes care of business, gets the robbers tied up, and by the time the boys wake up, he's like,

" You caught them. Good job."

The GCPD has to be useful SOMEHOW, so Gordon and Martinez take them to help look for "evidence." Yes, the evidence happens to be at the park

Even the Rogues are on board? Selina doesn't mind playing hurt when Dick hits her with a "batarang" from the local toy store. She decides to take it over the top and play dead, going limp,

" You killed her!" Jason screeches, because they LIKE Selina,

Bruce, completely calm as Tim pokes a shaking Selina with a stick, " Robin. What have you done."

Naturally, Dick wails, but luckily, she miraculously "comes back to life" and tells them cats really do have 9 lives. " You owe me so many diamonds, baby"

Bruce shrugs, patting Dick on the back, " You owe me therapy money,"

" Tch. Rich prick."

Harley and Ivy "fight" the birds a lot, but it's just Harley complimenting and hyping up Dick's gymnastics while Ivy swings them around with vines like carnival rides,

When Harley's "arrested", she pulls Bruce aside and is like, " Hey, maybe look into ADHD and autism, pretty sure they all have it, "

" Impossible? That's genetic. I have neither."

" ...1) They're adopted. 2) I have some news for you."

Harvey WILL kill Bruce on sight if he ever tells ANYONE he helped Jason and Tim tie him up with jumping cords. It's already bad enough that video of him slipping on bubblegum bombs (deactivated) is viral

" Okay, now three loops and around, -- Jason, that's a cat bridge."

" I'm NOT Jason Mr. Dent!"

" Right, ROBIN, -- can you at least gag this motherf-- this jerk? Jesus, Oswald, what'd you eat, death?"

Oz, tied back to back with Harvey, with marker all over his face, " Your MOTHER. I'M tired, KID, When's your old man coming back?"

" Dad says that if you miss bed time, you explode. Are you gonna explode, Mr. Penguin?"

"... I'm concerned that you're excited about it."

#AAAA BABIES #bruce wayne #dc #dc comics #batdad #bruce wayne is a good dad #its not exactly exciting or anything but i thought it was cute!!! #harley quinn #poison ivy #harvey dent #jason todd #dick grayson #robins #no robins au #text #batman #text post #batfamily #batfam

[scintillyyy]

i was going to make a joke about how the thing is, if you're going to make the drakes old gotham money (which they were not) and tim tim-drake-of-the-gotham-city-drakes-who-live-up-in-the-house-on-the-hill, he still wouldn't go to gotham academy, he'd still most definitely be a boarding school kid, except he'd be going to boarding school in switzerland instead of the local ones. but then i got to thinking. why did renowned travelers jack and janet put tim in local boarding schools versus international? obviously, from an outside standpoint it's simple: so tim could be close to gotham for the events of alpod and his training period, along with further framing the drakes as rich but not ridiculous rich like bruce is (tim goes to fancy private boarding school, but it's a local one, not a super exclusive foreign one that, like, royalty attends). however, from an in-universe standpoint, i thought of a couple different options for this:

the boring, non canon one would be: jack and janet hated tim all along!! god forbid he be in school anywhere near them, they might have to remember they have a child! he needs to be at least halfway around the world away from them at all times. besides, tim only gets 98 on his tests and the drakes don't need that kind of embarrassment on an international level.

anyways, seriously. the first option would be maybe the drakes wanted him to do international schooling but *tim* pushed to stay close to gotham with his schooling, to better keep track of batman and robin. jack and janet then probably respected his wishes to stay close to gotham and looked for more local ones. tim has an attachment to gotham and they want to indulge him, since they're sending him to boarding school--may as well try and make sure tim's happy with it. this would mean that they listen to their son's input on matters of schooling.

the second option would be that *jack and janet* had an attachment to gotham city, and wanted tim to go to a boarding school nearby as gotham city was *their* home base. they do have several apartments in the city itself, and seemed to enjoy going downtown and doing things in town with tim. also, from a convenience standpoint, if tim is close to gotham, it becomes much easier for them to pick him up and bring him home to spend time together when they're home between trips. pros to this include the fact that when jack, tim, and dana moved to keystone temporarily, jack even admitted he hated living there because it wasn't as good as gotham to him. so it's possible that they just really like gotham city and wanted tim to stay in the area, because they grew up there and they love it or something.

now, we don't actually know that all of tim's boarding schools were near gotham. we only know that the final one was driving distance and local to gotham. however. whenever his parents were home, tim mentions that he would be with them, so he can't have been ridiculously out of the way, and tim never mentions having to take a flight back to gotham for spring or summer breaks, and i believe references growing up in gotham so he probably never attended school in like. california or anything. so i'm inclined to think they were mostly local schools. now interestingly, post-janet's death, during cry of the huntress, jack's kneejerk reaction is to send tim to a boarding in metropolis in order to get tim away from 1) whoever is beating him up 2) bruce wayne, who jack thinks might be beating his son up, which metropolis is a little farther than local but probably still just a drive away. and during the brentwood arc, where tim is back at a local boarding school that jack got him into, after the whole kobra cult thing jack threatens to send tim to a school in haiti (which, rude jack. did you forget your wife died there?), so not local at all. it's possible, of the two, janet was the one who pushed for tim to be in a school closer to gotham whereas jack probably cared a bit less where tim went.

i think i fall on it's a mix of tim probably didn't want to go somewhere too far and the drakes also didn't want tim to go to school far away (so they could see him easily when they were home). anyways. things i think about. tim's boarding school years fascinate me.

#jack drake #janet drake #tim drake

[yanderefairyangel]

I think it's very funny how I hear so many people say "if only we could have a game with Engage's gameplay with 3H's level of writing we could have a perfect game" because we already had a FE game with 3H's level of writing long before 3H came out... and that's Fates.

I kid you not. 3H and Fates have the exact same writing flaws when it comes to the story and the worldbuilding. And that's that it was waaay too ambitious for its own good.

I mean, Fates orginal script was literaly so big it was massive novel trimmered down for video game format as for 3H's well...

10 freaking thousand years of worldbuilding for a video game story.

See the problem ??? That's something you do for a novel not a video game !!!

The main reason why stories in video games tries to stay simple is because they are aware of the medium they are dealing with !!! Fates and 3H are both game that are very, very long. Do you have any idea how long they would be if they went fully into developping all of the worldbuilding and lore they were supposed to have ?

That's the problem with big worldbuilding. As ambitious as it is it comes with the downside of requiring a lot of screen time to make every bits of it story relevant in a way or another and to flesh it out well. Do Fates and 3H do it well ? Well, Fates is a tought subject seeing how the localization removed a lot of its worldbuilding and created incoherences and inconsistencies on top of that, but we do see that in the original there were some of them not that developped such as the 12 dragons having only 3 at least that are very plot relevant : Hydra, the Rainbow sage and Moro. You don't learn a lot about 3 more of them, the Ancestor of the tribe we do meet in Fates and the one that shared their blood with the Royals, but there is still some stuff missing and that could have been developped more. And this problem Fates had, 3H had this too, but multiplied by 4 because of 4 routes. And the Hopes recton. And I know Hopes takes place in an alternate timeline but some of the change are way to weird to attribute it just to Shez's survival. Like, the complete shitf of personality from Dimitri's uncle : in Houses he is supposed to be a useless lecher, in Hopes he is a depressed Claudius trying to kill Dima.... what happened exactly ?

What those game tried to do was waaay too big. They have the exact same problem in the story and lore. They also have the same strengh as in a strong cast with good characterization. And if I consider 3H's stories to be weaker then the 3 stories in Fates, I think the 3H''s cast had a stronger characterization compared to the Fates one.

Again, I can salute the ambition, but if we encourage the devs to follow that direction, we are basically begging them for half finished story with improper lore and worldbuilding.

A good worldbuilding isn't a gigantinc epileptic. It's one that is consistent, well used in the plot and despite of his tenght is rich enough. Take Pandora hearts. It's worldbuilding is small. Literaly. We only know the name of 2 city, Sablier and Reveil. We don't even know the name of the country we are in ! All that we can recognize is that the character are dressed in the 19 century victorian era seetings and have English name. But the country has 0 name. You can look, it's called and I quote the material world only to distinguish it from the Abyss !!! Even the characters comming from another country such as Isla Yura or the Duc Barma's family, characterized by their red hair and special clothing, we never learn which country they come from not the name ! And that is perfectly FINE. Because learning the name would eventually change nothing. Not having the name removes nothing from the story because PH focus only on those setting in a way that matters for the plot. Reveil being the capital of their country only matters to localize Gil's appartement and the Pandora's base. Sablier matters because it's at the core of the plot, the only historical aspect that matters is the tragedy of 100 years ago. All the other important place such as the Abyss, the monster, the chains, the system of contractor etc all of this is detailed in a way that is not thousand of data but only the essential to keep the plot moving foward so the story feels focus and only has some elements to flesh out rather then 1000000. And even then, Sensei still managed to improve that with the VNC worldbuilding that is much richer but that still is focused and that focus comes from how she is using a size that fit for the medium she writes for !! And the PH lore is still rcih in references, metatextuality and wink wink to Alice in Wonderland

And the main reason why I think Awakening and Engage had stronger stories then these 2 game was because they knew what they were doing. And by that they knew what they were : video games. Think about it 2 seconds.

Awakening was written as a random regular video game script. Fates became a novel. 3H had an over 10 thousand years woth of lore chronicle going on. Engage was written as a random regular video game stories keeping with a traditional RPG vein.

And out of the 3 Engage is the most consistant. It's not without its flaws, but it objectively does better because it knows the format it has. It knows it is a video game. You can't expect a video game to be has rich and have the same writing as a novel. Each medium as it's own rules : that's why when manga or novel can adapted on screen, the screewriters as to adapt it to the medium he is dealing with. Because it's not the same medium, it has different rules, different challenges etc. If a video game adapts a novel, you can't expect it to be as much in depth because a video game is supposed to be shorter then a novel. Same for a manga. Same for a movie.

Engage and Awakening knew their size. They knew what they were doing and avoided being so big. Because even if the 3H writers had kept in check all of the ten thousand years of lore they wrote, nothing would change the fact that they don't have the time to flesh that out in that game. The data doesn't allow it. The timing doesn't either.

Another example. Recently, Goody two shoes came out. And despite it being a prequel to Pocket Mirror, it has a very good story and a simple one with a few very important characters and enough lack of information for it to be a mystery and not just something that was left as is without proper developpement. And that's because it knew what it was and stick with it : being a prequel to Pocket Mirror.

Engage and Awakening, while not perfect, also stick with what they were : video game stories. Fates and 3H were more then that because they have enough of information to be literal novels. If you compare Engage to the manga, you'll noticed that the manga get to expend more on a lot of things and again it's all because of the medium. If Engage had a serialization as novel, it would be the same, more dense. If Engage had an anime, same. The same story will have different management of its ressources depending on the medium you are writing it for. Fates was written like it was a novel when it was supposed to be a video game. Same thing for 3H.

When the fandom says they want a story or writing on the same level of 3H they don't think about how a lot of 3H's flaws comes from the very core of the project, the size not fitting the medium or try to handwave it as "a game can be ambitious" but the problem is that 3H and Fates biggest flaws WERE their ambitions. The more your project is ambitious, the more it requires you time and effort and date for it. So when it doesn't suit a video game format because of the several restrictions, you know your project will end up feeling incomplete. The writers of 3H themselves said it. 3H is the smaller picture of a bigger one.... so how many Foldan game do we need to have the FULL picture ??? Knowing that Fire Emblem's settings keeps changing, 2 are clearly not enough.

Again, it's the aesthetic of depth that speaks. The fandom loves big stuff. And while 3H's worldbuilding isn't an empty shell, it has way too many elements to flesh them out entirely leaving holes that aren't of the level of mystery or ambuiguity, but of half cooked. However, fandom LOVES HOLES, it adores void so each time they'll spot one they will try to fill it imagine something bigger then it could have been implanted within the canon. Because it's more interesting to them then whatever IS could have actually written. And it shows that the aesthetic plays into this because 3h and Fates have the EXACT SAME LEVEL OF WORLBUILDING and it follows Seisen's too. 12 important figures ? Check ! Weird wonkery of blood givins special power to an elite of favored people? Check ! Lizard like creature revered as deities ? Check ! Magical weapons only some people can wield ? check ! The list goes on. But for some reasons people acts as if Fates had no lore (that's wrong, you can even check what the FE wiki says on that matter) because it doesn't have the same aesthetic as 3H despite all the common points these 2 games have.

And even if they decided to do 3H but less big, I don't think it would work because 3H's story also ended up being relying on its size and it would have worked had it had more lore... but that's the thing ! it already had TOO MUCH lore for a random video game and it was over 400 hour long and no matter how many DLC they would have released they just can't dwell into all of this ! Might as well create a new franchise entirely focused on the world of Foldan !!!

So really, be careful what you wish, because if you keep making believe to the devs that what they did with 3H was the way to go even though it's clearly disadvantaged by the size and the format of the medium, they will never manage to improve what was flawed in 3H. And that's mainly because what was flawed in 3H was that it needed more then it did when it already did something gargantuan which imo is the evidence that the level writing of 3H doesn't work on a video game. At all.

Again, take Goody two shoes. It had little going on but it explore it to its fullest resulting in very simple story with little stuff yet very rich and full of emotion and its simplicty made it work very efficientely. That's good writting. Not throwing in very big stuff and struggling to finish it, but managing to exploit to the fullest even the smallest thing to create a rich experience. Something that manages to be rich even though simple is what's actually impressive. That's the route to follow for a good game story.

So you wanna know what IS should do ? Follow what they did for Engage but simply improve what in Engage was flawed. Because Engage has the right size for a video game format and even if you think they would have expanded on more, the additions are so easy to spot that you can see it's not level of 3H big, but simply some polishing, maybe some chapter added, but not something as astronomically tall as Fates or 3H since those game had the problem of not going more in depth with the lore, requiring more lore to something that was already too big and too long for a video game. And again, I am not saying they can't take anything from 3H cause 3H does a lot of good things notably regarding the characterization, such as the idea of personal paralogue for the characters. That's great. This should come back. But when it comes to the story itself... gneee... nope. No. 3H's ambitions and tenght is way too close to to the core of the project yet it's the main thing that hold it backs and lead it to slip so often.

Imo the perfect FE story would be able to managed to combine simplicity and ambitions since the more simple story could feel like it needed more, but that's the same problem with the much more ambitious project. The writers of IS should try to find a balance between the two to fix that issue, but I don't think 3H has this balance

#3H critical

[clinically-not-straight]

I think banksy isn't a particularly great person in regards to what he has shown me about art and design stuff. Like, sure he made it to the top from being a street artist/graffitist, cool as shit, love to see a guy winning. Less of a fan of the bit where he started pretty much just making cool looking stuff for rich people and not being a graffitist.

This isn't me saying he shouldn't have changed or progressed; good for him, etc. I am saying his work has became gentrified. See, Banksy was a graffitist, like that guy that lives near you that draws dicks on bins or the one that did a really good spray of a cartoon character at your local skatepark. Now, that is illegal, even in most skateparks, and i wouldn't care about that if it wasn't the reason for my first issue.

So, if you get seen graffiti-ing you get arrested or whatever, even if you're on a public wall where people are allowed to, because nobody knows that those are a thing half the time and assume you're a criminal (not that I'd care if you were). After you make your shit its not over still because now you get chucked into this lot of people that are considered vandals because they dared to draw something on a wall, you're now in the same lot of people that smash up bus stops for no reason, isn't that fair?

Now, banksy is banksy so he doesn't get that same treatment. He gets praised for it, and his work get protected, unlike most graffiti. So now just he is allowed to graffiti shit, him and his team, apparently there are a few of him now. But at least that's the end of it, at least he's just some guy that is allowed to graffiti because he transcended the law, good on him.

Anyway, its not just that, number 2 is he is gentrification incarnate. People started protecting the areas his work was on and selling it and shit (I don't quite remember the details of that, but apparently people tried to sell the walls themselves)

(From my stupid fucking friend, luv u bby)

So he's a lil bit corporate, but that can't be on prupose right? Like, you wouldn't just make artwork that vaguely gestures toward having some kind of meaning whilst not addressing said thing that the meaning should address, right? You wouldn't use vagueness as a means of making something palatable to corporate fucks whilst also removing any depth to it, right?

Banksy come on man.

I can imagin that bouquet as a pepsi can and it has more meaning there. The satire, underlying message, just a bit of the funny.

The vagueness of it all really serves as a nice mask for it. This came from a thing that says "Banksy advocates for peace" what peace? Where? In regards to what? That looks like a rioter; it seems like the government pissed people off a bit too much and the rioter is reacting adequately. The headlining plus the image make it seem like Banksy is calling rioter out for being violent, but I'll put it down to the headline being a headline. Here's another:

See now because I know my deal with recycling and stuff I can say this is about microplastics and how melting plastic for recycling isn't great still because of the fumes and shit, and I think that's great. But let's be real here, what is it actually saying? Its probably more along the lines of "man, things are kinda bad, but this kid has childlike wonder so he doesn't notice. You are the kid and you don't see the bad" or something like that.

But maybe its not and maybe he's being genuine. Maybe plastic being thrown into our atmosphere is a big deal to him. I want to see it as that, so I'm gonna, I think.

Don't those fences look a bit oddly placed though? Round the sides of the graffiti, them ones... well that leads me onto an entirely new point.

What is graffiti?

According to the American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language one definition is "a form of vandalism involving painting, text or images in public spaces"

So the crime thing from the start, yeah whatever, you already mentioned that dipshit.

So what the fuck is this headline then? Is banksy's art not graffiti? When does it become socially acceptable art? Isn't it a thing in graffiti that we're aware nothing is permanent so that's why people draw over others' shit? Why can't we play by his rules and draw too? That doesn't seem fair.

You know, I've saw things about banksy's work getting done in an alley once, there was a layer of plastic added onto it so that people wouldn't vandalise the vandalism. Apparently passing graffiti artists would piss on it as they went by. Again, apparently, I cannot find where I saw that but its incredibly funny.

But note that headline, "Banksy Art in Folkestone Vandalised by Graffiti." Where is the cut off point here? Why is that one art and the other is graffiti? Why does Banksy's get called art and the others get called vandalism? To clarify, Banksy's work, because of how known and unknown he and his team are, is called art, without question from news sources and headlines and shit. Yes, I do remember there was initially a whole thing about him just being some guy, but now he's celebrated for it, and that's what I'm drawing attention to here.

Even the BBC addresses it, his work is something that should be considered vandalism but isn't. Someone liked it, then rich people started picking up on it and now people have tried selling walls because of it.

So maybe this isn't so much a comment on Banksy...

Arguably, to me at least, this is more of a comment on the audience his work has garnered. Do I think his work is bad? No, actually. In fact, even if the symbolism or imagery means little to me in some places, I'd argue they're really good, I know what I'm thinking of when I think of his work and for such a reason, they stick. The colour usage is fine, the stencils used are probably ones he cut himself, he's home-made. It's all not that bad.

The issue is simply the audience it has gained. A large proportion of it are people that hate graffiti but love banksy, a graffiti artist; already you can see the issue. Most of them are little rich weirdos that love graffiti as long as its up to a certain standard and isn't on their property, then they can have it phoographed and put on a canvas in their house, on their wall, in their property... you can see the point I'm getting at with the sort of people I see enjoying his work.

I do think his work wouldn't garner the same audience if it weren't the way it were. The rioter with a bouquet for example; you can see it as a call for peace, which is incredibly shallow and is blaming somebody that has been dicked over by the system, as many people would, especially with the piece being out there in public for everyone; you can alternatively make the comparison the bouquet throwing mirrors the throwing of flowers n shit at the end if races, a congratulation for being remembered as a tyrant or whatever. But because the piece, to my knowledge, has not had much meaning applied to it explicitly, by banksy, then the public makes the meaning, and the public has decided its a call for peace.

Simply put, banksy is not necessarily a bad artist but the audience that decides on the worth of his work aren't great in discerning a message from art. We know war is bad, we know our government is fucking us, but I'm sure you can come up with something more creative than that.

Fucking sick that Banksy got where he is, he somehow beat the law and is loved for it, came up from nothing, and is still pretty much unknown. Love that for him. I just think his audience could use some work.

Oh yeah and he's from Bristol which is unacceptable.

#so I don't hate banksy I suppise #but his artwork qhen mixed with his audience leaves a lot to be desired #don't even get me started on the shredder thing #cool as fuck but didn't it make the pic worth more? #banksy #graffiti #street art

[stevie-petey]

hiiiiiii m! read s2 ep2 and i LOVE IT SO MUCH!!!!!! <3 i actually am so relieved that steve reader friend divorce era is over......idk why but friendship breakups make me sadder than actual romantic breakups, partly because friendships themselves are so selfless and sort of by design the least selfish, or self interested you can be, with the benefit just being "we get to hang out!". i'm fascinated that steve forgave her so quickly as well, maybe because he's in a vulnerable spot right now (???), but i really did enjoy that reader was willing to make amends instead of sort of just digging an emotional hole for herself and exaccerbating the problem. i'm excited to see if she'll be as proactive down the line when things get more serious between them.

the way you handle nancy is interesting. i'm glad you don't shy away from reader being jealous of nancy and the attention of johnathan and steve and being pretty and rich, which omg, can drive full grown adults crazy, so why wouldn't a teen girl feel it, but also see nancy as like a full person? i also really appreciate your/reader's willingness to see both sides of the conflict, at least so far. a lot of people, from what i've seen, seem to view that night as a very traumatic night for steve where he got his heart broken, and that's true! it is! but it's also a night where nancy got blackout drunk from survivor's guilt that everyone around her told her to ignore in favour of just forgetting everything she experienced. that would make anyone upset! she probably does feel like her relationship is bs if it's main priority is not allowing her best friend's parents to find peace and move on! anyways, what i'm saying is that it's nice to have a realistic yet emotionally mature main character, and one who is so because they themselves are emotional and very in tune and self aware of them and others, instead of for just like, the plot vaguely, or because of modern sensibilities, no it's just an established and consistent part of her character, which is hard to do and it's so cool that you do it so well near constantly!

but i really was cheesing a lot like it just felt like a classic early 2000s CW show which is the high i'm constantly chasing. one tree hill season 1 episode i think 13 college party was very much the vibe i was getting. i should have been wearing cheetah print and leather and listening to the strokes as my friends convinced me that local basketball player was really the only guy who ~gets~ me. "i'll be" by edwin mccain plays in the background as we make eyecontact from across the room. you set the vibe, is what i'm trying to say.

billy was weirdo and creep and i'm happy he was acknowledged as such!!! not kidding when he came up to the reader i was also uncomfortable and it just had that very deeply horrible frat guy energy that makes every person subjected to it feel very objectified, and i think it's even more interesting that this is, from what i remember, one of the first time someone's shown outright interest in her, so i can imagine that that makes it even worse. i also sort of like the set up of johnathan defending her and steve holding him back, feels very much a great physical example of their position so far, with both johnathan playing a larger role in her life, as well as maybe signalling that johnathan's role as her protector, friend, confidant, all that is now passing onto steve's "hands", as steve's quite literally holding him. idk if that's too much i just had fun! and steve's final thoughts. my god. what an oblivious young man. the immediate jealousy and awe he feels.....his willingness to forgive....her promise to him as he confesses........both very moving and also amazed he hasn't realised his own feelings yet and excited that it will take him longer to do so. them making the promise together especially was so good, and such a good parallel to the one she and johnathan made in s1, and i'm excited to see if steve and r are able to uphold it better than johnathan was and how it'll serve to highlight the differences in their relationship.

very lengthy so my apologies, have a nice day and looking forward to ur next chapter!

hi angel !!

u touched on something SO BIG and i loooove discussing it: steve forgave reader so easily. and YES it was a bit ??? but later itll make sense. overall weve seen that steve just so genuinely trusts readers intentions with him, he never doubts her honesty and hes been pulled towards her since day 1, so of course he immediately was like “oh yeah we can be bffs again <3”. HOWEVER ,,,, this will play a huuuge role later (next chapter i believe). we’ll get more insight and steves vulnerability that night also def helped

and nancy !!! yes !!! i had to rewatch her scene with steve in the library a million times and i just felt horrible for them both. they want to help each other, and as ive said before about jonathan and reader, steve and nancy take care of people in opposite ways and it makes them clash. nancy wants to be proactive, steve wants to be more on the down low and tend to those he has already. hes accepted and moved on, nancy has moved on but hasnt accepted.

and as for the jonathan n steve scene i originally had jonathan holding steve back, but honestly it didnt feel right. jonathan, as much as he sucks sometimes, will ALWAYS be the first to defend y/n. every time he will. steve will too, but jonathan has that spot rn and hed rather die than let her get hurt </3

as for billy ,,,, so incredibly excited to flesh out his dynamic with reader. it wont be romantic in the slightest, but reader will have some insight into billys homelife due to max, and u bet she’ll use it against billy.

and im SO HAPPY the party scene felt real <333 thank u for the lovely asks i adore dissecting my chapters with yall its my <3333

#procrastinationprincesses #ask #m speaks #wtlws insight #i feel like an english teacher #in the best way possible

[everythingroyalty]

Christian, Isabella, Vincent and Josephine are now attending four different schools. What do you think about the schools and are you suprised by some of the choices?

Ordrup Gymnasium – I think this was a really solid choice on Christian's end! Have a bit of personal experience with this one and it's definitely my favourite of the upper secondary schools in the area – I'd say it's more diverse in the student body than both Øregård, Aurehøj and GHG. And I think the group of his friends that attend Ordrup is much more appealing company than the group that attends Herlufsholm.

Øregård Gymnasium – I was slightly surprised and disappointed she didn't stay at Ingrid Jespersens for upper secondary but then again, lots of students change schools come upper secondary school 🤷‍♀️ Everyone I know who've attended Øregård have been absolutely insufferable but I might've just been unlucky 😅

Tranegårdsskolen – My granny's been a teacher here 😎 I mean, it's basically a private school in disguise as a state school due to its location. Personally, I think it would've been really amazing if M&F had just picked the local state school for their kids instead but yeah 🤷‍♀️ I don't know that I think there's anything particularly peculiar about Isabella and Josephine leaving ahead of time. Obviously Isabella was due to move to Herlufsholm and Josephine leaving at the start of year 6 (the earliest year at which Herluf takes students) makes me think she, too, had intended to leave for Herlufsholm this year. Kudos to Vincer for staying put – I doubt he would've been a Herlufsholm brat 🫶

Kildegård Privatskole – Don't know anything about it 🤷‍♀️ As mentioned above, I think it pretty much confirms Josephine was Herlufsholm-bound as well, and that this was the alternative M&F could offer her. Not a school I would've chosen and I know all the nouveau riche FLOCK to the Hellerup-Gentofte area and think it's the fanciest ever but respectfully, I'd never voluntarily opt for a school in the outskirts of Copenhagen 🤡✌️

One could be tempted to ask oneself why, given that at least 3 of the children were so eager to board at Herlufsholm, did none of them opt for, say, a UWC programme or just a foreign boarding school instead? But nah. This is about jetset kids – most of which know each other already – wanting to have fun away from their parents and "creating bonds for life" 🤢 Not much different from, say, Eton brats but it's much more difficult for large group of Danish kids to get into the same foreign schools to do their jetset kids thing – just because the poor Danish royal kids aren't allowed to go to Herluf.

Personally, if I were M&F, I would've probably just sent my kids to a UWC programme regardless of their own opinions. It's healthy to make new friends from different backgrounds – especially for royal kids. But I think especially Frederik is way too lenient a parent to do that because of his own upbringing.

I love CIVJ and I don't think they're insufferable people but I genuinely think they need to think carefully about the company they keep. Seeing Christian mingle with the classless Bourbon des Deux-Siciles is so disappointing, honestly. If he's not careful, he's gonna be in for a rude awakening when he turns 18 and the tabloids are no longer obliged to treat him as a child because that's definitely something they're gonna aim at.

#this became super long #but this is actually one of few things i dislike about m&f #although this is not to say they're the only royals who do this #i think their parenting style is a bit too lenient given who their children are #they're NOT jetset kids #they shouldn't JUST mingle with jetset kids #victoria and daniel do too (estelle and oscars school is SUPER posh) #(like wOW can it be so posh) #and so do haakon and mm (ingrid and magnus have both transferred schools multiple times and have always upped it to posher schools lol) #and wills and kate (i don't even have to elaborate here) #i understand that the spanish royal family is in a vastly different situation than the drf but i think they handle this so well #people are like bUT LeONoR aNd sOfiA aRe tOo sHeLtErED #and like no...... they just have a circle of friends that respect their privacy #and jetset kids don't seem to be able to do that unfortunately 🤡 #inquiring minds #anonymous #re. drf

[damnslippyplanet]

Slippy Rewatches: ATOTS, Episode 2

Next up for Friend Who Needs Recaps Right Now: ATOTS, Episode 2.

This is going to be extra-funny because I haven’t watched this show in about two years so I barely remember the set-up.  But ALSO, this was my first Thai BL, so I had no idea how many tropes I was swimming in, which ought to make this really fun to come back to.

What I remember of ep 1 is basically: Tian, The Most Beautiful Boy In The World, is a spoiled rich brat with heart problems who gets into a car accident and has a heart transplant.  But I don’t know where we left off. The “previously on” reminds me that the person he got the heart from was a volunteer teacher in a rural area of Thailand, and Tian decides he needs to go find and teach this volunteer teacher’s class to fulfill her wishes.  And there he met Chief Phupha, our tsundere, bless him, and they stared at each other weirdly for a while.

AND NOW, episode 2:

We’re flashing back to how Tian got to be a teacher, i guess!  He shows up at the foundation that sponsors the teachers, with Teacher Torfun’s lanyard in his hand.  I am immediately losing my shit because I’m so much more immersed in the Thai BL cinematic universe than I was when I watched this, and have just realized that Torfun is Pearmai from “Be My Favorite”, and the head of the foundation plays dads in like three other shows I’ve watched.  Oh, man.  This is going to be an EXPERIENCE.

Tian rolls up with his application which reads "Hello, I would like to be a teacher in this specific rural village, my qualifications are that I am very pretty."

Foundation Head Guy recognizes his name and says kindly, "hey, rich boy, you are not going to want to live on the salary or in the lifestyle that rural volunteer teachers get, please go home and roll around on your bed of money or at least let us send you somewhere with running water. Don't be the jerk rich kid who burns our foundation's money and goodwill on going off to teach, fucking around with the lives of the local population, and coming home again a week later."

Tian: "Yes but have you SEEN how pretty I am?  Also I am being really earnest about this."

Foundation Guy asks Tian what the most difficult thing in his life is, and before he can say, "I maybe killed someone and took her heart and it might have made me gay if I wasn’t already?” we smash cut into the credits.  I forgot how cute these credits were!  Fuck, I’m gonna end up rewatching this whole show

*******************

And now we’re back to the village, where Tian is trying and failing to get a signal on his cell phone.  He gives up and gathers his towel to go explore his bathing situation, only to basically trip over the Chief perched outside his little cottage waiting to take him to the school.

Tian would like to take a bath, and Chief does a life-ruining little smirk and leads him away down the path. Tian brushes his teeth along the way to what he thinks is going to be his bath, and that's how he ends up at his new school, with a bath towel slung over his shoulder, still brushing his teeth, to meet his assorted youths.

The youths are five adorable moppets.  Four of them are full of questions and one of them is asleep.  (One of them is also wearing a shirt that says "Snatch: The Best Thing On Earth".) Tian hits up Ranger Yod to find out what the schedule is and if there's a lesson plan.  Yod nominally thinks there should be lessons in the morning and play in the afternoon, but also thinks that it's Tian's first day so if he wants to just send everyone home now that's fine.  Yod would be the teacher who shows movies all year long with only vague relation to the curriculum.

Tian makes a vague effort to start an animal-guessing game but Ayi, the kids' ringleader, apparently just leaves school when he's bored, and now he is bored  So he gets up and leaves, with all the other kids following him.  Which means that when Chief shows up again the schoolroom is just Tian, sulking because he hasn't had a bath and the kids have better things to do than play with him.

Chief glowers a little but actually takes pity on Tian and agrees to show him what his new bathing situation is going to be like.

Oh.  Oh, man.  I think we’re about to get to something I remember very fondly.  Let’s GO.

****************

Okay, so Chief leads Tian and his bath towel off to a waterfall-and-stream situation.  Very picturesque.

Tian: So we don’t have bathtubs here?

Chief: Look, city boy, I can drive you to the city if you can’t hack bathing like a villager.

Tian: I’m fine, go away.

Chief: Conveniently, the other side of this river is a dangerous border where skirmishes happen so I am duty-bound to stand here and watch you bathe.  In case ruffians try to kidnap you.  While you’re naked.

Tian: FINE but can you turn AROUND while I wade into the water fully clothed?

Chief: FINE

Chief: immediately starts peeking at Tian and his wet clinging shirt situation as he wades into the quiet of the stream. It’s CUTE.

Chief turns away for a minute to get a product-placement drink and when he turns back, Tian is MISSING.  Because he is HIDING because he is a BRAT.  The upshot of this is that Chief leaps in to save him and ends up shirtless and wet and cranky about how into brat-taming he is.

And this?  This moment here?  This was when I simultaneously met Earth Pirapat’s tattoos, and Thai BL’s love of lingering product-placement shots where beautiful shirtless men suck down cool beverages in loving close-up while we watch their throats bob.  This moment changed my life, I think. JFC. Who allowed it.

This moment is also changing Tian’s life, he is doing the MOST minx-y little lowered-eyelashes side-eye at Chief’s nipples.

********************************

Presumably he did not immediately blow the Chief, but we will never know because we cut back to them arriving back at Tian’s cottage, where Yod has brought lunch.  Yod is like, funny that you went swimming, when you have your own little outhouse and bathing situation out back, I just asked the villagers to bring you a full water jar and everything so you can bucket-bathe yourself!

Tian: Oh my god I hate the Chief. 

Chief: gives Tian the WORST little smirk.

Oh my god, I forgot what a little shit he secretly is. 

Tian goes in and changes and we get a look at his gnarly chest scar while he stares pensively in the mirror for a while and, oh, THAT’S why he went into the stream fully clothed, I forgot he’s hiding his cardiac patient situation.  What a terrible idea, Tian.  TELL SOMEONE.

********************

It’s time to meet the village chief!  His name is Khama or maybe his title is Khama? Anyway, he’s nice to Tian but also wonders why Torfun didn’t come back?

Chief: Torfun’s…um.  Busy?  Definitely not dead.  Ha ha ha.

Tian, side-eyeing Chief: Yeah, I too know nothing about Torfun’s hypothetical death. 

Khama is genial and delightful, and his wife has prepared a huge meal to welcome Tian, including a very special dish of pig brain.  Everyone including Chief is leaning in real close to watch Tian try it. This is clearly a fun thing they do to city people, feeding them spicy pig brain to see if they can be cool or will freak out.

What is this Wang-Yibo-ass facial expression on the Chief?

Tian is like, “awesome, excellent pig brain, thank you!” and then proceeds to have a flashback to his transplant doctor explaining that to avoid rejection of his new heart he should live in hygienic places and not eat spicy or unusual foods, while Khama explains the ten different spicy dishes on the table.

It’s fine, this is fine.  I’m not at all worried about Tian’s heart, as Chief basically eggs him on to prove he can eat spicy food.  Tian, TELL SOMEONE, Chief is a brat too but he wouldn’t try to actually KILL YOU if he knew your whole deal.

Khama also mentions that his song Longtae is about Tian’s age and is studying in the city, but will be back to visit this weekend. Tian wants to see the cliff nearby for no particular reason (it’s because he read about it in Torfun’s journal) and Khama is like, yeah, my son can be your tour guide!  But if you want to go before then, take Chief, because it’s too dangerous to go alone.

Tian says he wouldn’t want to bother such a busy and important guy, and Tian and Chief hate-fuck each other with their eyes for a while.  Khama eats more spicy pork.  He’s having such a good time, I love him.  

*********************

Later at night, Chief walks Tian home and discovers that the city boy doesn’t know about mosquito netting and got fully destroyed by mosquitos.  So now it’s time for a Sexy Mosquito Netting scene where Chief fully kabedons Tian to show him how to put up the netting.  Love it, zero notes.

And then, because we are still in the pulling-each-other’s-pigtails stage of this relationship, Chief takes the whole thing down, tells Tian to do it himself to get practice, warns him about ghosts, and fucks off back to his base.  Tian gets the net up, but then he has to go use the outhouse while he’s terrified of ghosts, poor city boy.

Meanwhile back at the base, Chief has pulled out a wooden flute, had a flashback to Torfun giving it to him, and now he is staring mournfully into the fire while tootling a tune on the flute.  My recollection is that when I first watched this with friend Hoyden, I started howling because I was having a full Lan Xichen flashback, but she had not yet watched The Untamed and just thought I had completely lost my mind.

Anyway: Chief’s having a real Moment here.

***********************

The next morning Yod picks Tian up to take him to class - apparently that’s usually his job, Chief just did it yesterday as a special First Day of School thing.  They detour through the fields and learn that the village’s chief economic engines are growing tea and sewing.  Tian asks him about the cliff too because he is just going to be Extremely Normal about the cliff, and Yod is like, yeah, it’s over there, but if you take the wrong turn you end up in Ghost Hill. Also very normal.  If you end up in Ghost Hill without doing the right rituals, the ghosts kill you.  So again the takeaway is: please wait for an escort to the cliff.

And now we meet another ranger, Rang, who’s happy to do some introductions and some gossip.  Apparently Yod and Rang both know that Torfun died, but Chief told them not to tell the villagers.  They are standing a few feet away from the villagers during this conversation.  The rangers are not stealthy.

Then we go to school, where Tian is finding out the kids are more advanced than he expected - he was going to teach them letters, but Torfun already taught them letters. And numbers. The kids are bored as shit.

Tian, desperate: Hey, okay, but did Torfun ever take you on a FIELD TRIP? To the WATERFALL that’s like TWO MINUTES FROM A DANGEROUS BORDER?

Rang and Yod know this is a terrible idea and Rang peaces the fuck out to go find Chief and let him know Tian is going rogue.

***********

Chief is off in the city meanwhile, meeting with his doctor who is also his friend.  Did we meet this character in episode 1 or is this the first time we meet him?  I remember liking this character, I think. 

Doctor Friend: Hey so I heard your new teacher is a hot twink and you’ve been paying him a lot of attention.

Chief: LOOK he is a MENACE and I am DOING MY JOB.

Doctor Friend: Okay SURE.  Now I am going to talk about how Torfun was in love with you, so you can get weird and sad.

Chief: *soulful eyes*

****************

Tian is taking the kids on a nature walk and has finally found something they don’t know - how to name colors in English.  So they’re having a good time learning English words for things, while Yod panics and flails about how Chief is going to murder him for this. 

It’s all sort of nice, until Yod gets called back to base right as the kids are clamoring to be allowed to swim in the river.

Tian: This will be fine.

Yod: Will it?

Tian: Absolutely, go back to base, I got this.

Tian does not got this.  Everyone splashes around and has fun for a while and then OOPS one of the kids (Kalae) is drowning.  Which, let us note, Tian fails to even notice until one of the other kids is like, hey, is that, uh, is that what’s supposed to be happening?

Tian pulls Kalae out of the water and is just starting to try to figure out how to revive him when Chief and Yod arrive with Doctor Friend.  Kalae is quickly saved and hustled off to the med center to recover.  Doctor Friend pulls Chief off to the side to be like, okay, kid’s saved, now go tend to the twink teacher, he looked absolutely devastated.

Chief: Well maybe he shouldn’t have LET A CHILD DROWN.

Doctor Friend: You have a point, but he’s a brand-new teacher and he’s trying, please don’t actually murder him.

So Chief storms off to Tian’s place to yell at him about how he can’t just show up and be careless with these children’s lives and education as some sort of holiday from his life.  He’s right, and Tian knows it, and Tian heads inside and starts to pack to leave.

But Doctor Friend may have done some good work here, because Chief rolls his eyes and takes a deep breath and is like, okay, but actually don’t be a huge baby and walk out on them either.  

Tian reaches out to pack Torfun’s lanyard and now we’re back to the flashback at the beginning, where he was asked what his most difficult experience was.  Apparently his answer was “I almost died, but now I have a second chance and I want to use it to do something for others.”

Foundation Guy told him to remember the way he feels and come back to it when he’s feeling discouraged by hard experiences.    Which Tian does, and decides that he WILL stay and finish out his term.

Chief has about six face emotion journeys about his complicated feelings about this terrible beautiful twink, and then is like well OKAY then.  But please stop DROWNING CHILDREN.  And then they stare at each other intensely for a while as we go to credits.

And then post-credit scene!

We’re back to Tian and Chief walking home after the visit to Khama, and Chief pulls a huge bag of instant noodles out of his rucksack so Tian won’t actually starve.

Chief: You know how to make a fire and boil water, right?

Tian: …….

So then Chief makes some noodles for Tian, who pretends he’s not hungry, but then eats them anyway, and Chief makes the satisfied eyes of someone whose caretaking kink has just been activated.  And then scolds him into saying thank you properly to an older man who has done something nice for him and, woof, yeah, there are some cultural/language layers there I didn’t get at first watch.

And then they just stare at each other for a while in beautiful flickering firelight, and yeah.  Fuck.  I have to rewatch the rest of this show now. Fuck.

this way to: episode 3 recap

#slippy watches things #atots

[wordsarefakeokay]

What does capitalism taste like

Does it taste like white picket fences and 2.5 kids

What about a dog in the backyard and BBQs on the weekend

Knowing all your neighbors names and having the HOA on speed dial

Does it taste like the life you want to live?

Are the HOA in your contacts because they keep calling you

Or are you calling them

Does that complicated C word taste the homogeneity in your neighborhood

Where the police arrive in 2 seconds flat, with a gate and a patrol to match

Does it taste like "I'll wait here for your manager" and weekends at the golf course

Does it taste like a martini because the trophy spouse has a long day?

Does it taste like security cams and a ranch on the property with the stable boys and the guest house to the side with the cabana ones?

Does it taste like equestrianship is in your blood from birth? What about fencing?

Does it taste like ivy league vines crawling up babies spines from birth?

Does it taste like "Harvard is your dream not mine" and then rebellion

Does rebellion look like a fully funded backpack trip to Europe with your first great love

Or does it look like "I'm going to work for my parents equally rich rival company"

Or does it look like different freedom, independence, simply a different life

Where you can still ask your parents for money because you reached a happy ever after in the movie

What does capitalism taste like

Happily ever after is fake for us real folks so it must hold true for those up top right?

People in gated communities who's stepford mother's figures are earned with the local book club

Who's menopause kicks in at the same pace because we're all just clucking hens bonding together aren't we

Aren't we all just girls looking to connect with other girls in line for the bathroom?

Let's be honest, we all have some kind of mommy issue don't we? #justgirlythings

And what about the men? Is it really just an opportunity to measure up?

Is it a subtle side eye to measure manhood, even tho bro code states "thou must not make eye contact with another bro I'm the bathroom"

Doe you feel like enough when you see a guy like your ex is now dating

Do you feel reassured when you notice your manhood is better?

Why does size matter?

Why am I automatically called "a little lady" by cowboys who are raised to believe "bigger in Texas" really means better

Is this what capitalism does

Does "be a man" follow men into the bathroom like "don't be a pussy" does for women?

Why must public communal bathrooms make us decide a gender right at that moment

Can't we measure a bathroom by the content of their room?

Stalls or urinals? Privacy or not? Right this way fellow citizen

Citizen. Human. Person. Life.

What does capitalism taste like

Does it taste like legislation against the gays?

No cakes no websites no space no homos

No healthcare no rights no sports pro bono

Hare dare anyone use pronouns! Fake news!

Them libs want you to think you can be referred to anything but your name. It's the devil's work

Didnt you hear that song? Call me by your name? He was a devil in the music I daresay! The devil!!

I'd let the devil fuck me

At least he would treat me right and show me a good time

What has capitalism done

This thing we fought for so that all our founders' legacies might have a future

Future away from tyranny and taxation and being slaves to our king

We have no kind any more, no crown jewels to protect, but we act the same

Why is the one who's always on top always the winner who writes the history

The winner who's educated

from a family with money

who were taught good Christian values

with a fencing rapier in hand and

Shakespeare in their veins

Is this what capitalism does

Dilutes us to the elite

Homogeneous suburbia and "all you need is fairy tales and you can be rich too"

Political correctness and "just find a man to solve your problems"

Register to vote and "be a man or you're not good enough"

It's not just little girls who get told their not good enough

The gender non conforming community has definitely unlocked a whole cheat code on life

That and the furries who have been the scientific backbone of this country for eons

But why do my apples taste not like what an apple tree looks like in the movies?

The one in the corner of Mamma Mia on the isle in Greece

Where my problems were solved by not getting married but traveling the world as a skinny white woman with her Kenough manly man

Singing voice for character wink

Why don't my apples taste like those on the Grecian island where the stories of the locals are forgotten to the American story, the American dream

I escaped my mom and became one myself

I'm a self made woman now

With a mortgage she can't pay and life problems that were clearly solved by marrying the man who hurt her the most in life

Why doesn't my apple taste like how that apple tree looks?

Why doesn't it taste like the apple from the garden?

Why doesn't it taste like the freedom eve must have felt when she disobeyed

Why is the taste of temptation diluted in my cheap apple from the superstore in the fruit section

Does it taste like pesticide and FDA regulations

Who keeps them in check? The CDC? WHO?

The DOJ or FBI or NAFTA or the Geneva convention

Was it a Geneva suggestion or a line from the treaty of Versailles or did agent orange bring us here

How many babies were born deformed before I ate this apple

And how many nat GMO products have I consumed that my human body has endured?

What does capitalism taste like? Because I swear, remaining tribal lands must not be like this

Forgotten poor African villages eat different

Forgotten poor native south America cultures remain intact on top of mountains that the white or Spanish or French have not yet learned to monetize

And now they will never because the people on the ground know better and are stronger

And capitalism stays the same

Progress is progress no matter how small

But all this progress

Is it good for us

Good for our taste buds

They say to beware vaccines and microchips but aren't we already a cyborg because we carry a favored microchip in our hands?

The ones we avoid calls from home on and instead laugh at cat videos

We share, bare our souls online to strangers but the people in our lives could never break our pokerface

But if we were born this way

Would we ever know what capitalism tastes like

If we don't ask someone else?

Does capitalism taste like the additive sugar in a fun size bar of crunch

Does it taste like the chocolate take over energy found in the Nestle headquarters

Or does it taste like the cocaine they put into coca cola to keep people buying more

I'm not convinced that the girl scouts didn't take that idea for themselves

Does capitalism taste like the working conditions of these massive corporate overlords

Or the factories where they bottle and bag and package comfort for 1.25

Does it taste the endless metallic conveyor belts

Or the chance that peanuts were used in any of those products

Does it taste like our countries trade deal for cheap products made from other companies

Does it taste like the the sweat shops that make your favorite new shirt or those fashionable high tops

Does it take like the abused labor that built this country

Does it taste like all the ghost statues of people who should have been memorialized instead of forgettable white men from history

Does it taste like the rust they should have earned all along

Or does it taste like the pain of forgotten artists

The heart of Harlem the beasts of Boston the cheeps of the Cherokee

Does it sound like the ones who's names we forget

The neglected breaks of the Oregon trail the gentrification of the only pockets of culture in this country

The Japanese internment camps

Border patrol and the place where there was almost a wall

Are the tears of all the family members of witches still a part of Salem

What about the hurt caused by the fights for gender equality that excluded black women

Does capitalism taste like Jim Crow or strange fruit

Just because it's rotting in the back doesn't mean it's in our past

These caged birds still sing can't you hear?

I fear for my brother and my niece and my nephew daily, their lives matter too

Friends neighbors family

They're still part of your labor or did you forget what The 13th taught us

Toni Morrison, Frederick Douglas

Miles Davis, Billie Holliday

MLK and Malcom X

HER and Missy Elliott

They run in our veins

The revolution is not televised

Stonewall certainly can't be told by anyone else

Nor can we forget the power of black trans women in the creation of pride spaces

What about the flyover cities that are meant for rural living with signs screaming "no airport here"

The pain of the indigenous people who's land a mindless mall was built over

Being given back land that belonged to those born here ages past

Ancestral home can be yours with a side of steak knives

And while I'm here can I interest you in the Book of Mormon

What about their tears? Their blood their breaks their pain

Does capitalism taste like that?

The endless lost even now and memorialized in art with a red handprint to their portrait

The lack of water and resources to land promised back

Ancestral home returned but you're on your own. Unless you're ready to hear about our Lord and savior

When will we realize we aren't a savior to begin with

Is this what capitalism tastes like?

Institutions built for white people who forgot that the land isn't theirs and never was

Home of the brave where those with the most force and money can get anywhere

We're the underdogs, the land of opportunity, come on by

You just have to follow these few simple rules

So if you're not perfect or cookie cutter, don't worry we'll just sand around the edges

So you'll fit into these boxes and society can know what to do with you

But if you're too much or not enough be ready to hate the rest of your days here

Welcome to the country of goldilocks and fuck you if you're not "just right"

What does capitalism taste like for you?

#first draft tbh #writing #spilled ink #poem #capitalism #society #this really needs a section on like 9/11 and muslims and tsa and things #asian people and driving stereotypes being smart and expectations #Filipino and Pacific islander culture and what it meants to work hard #and more in depth on the latin culture too of coming to america and dreamers and many many more things #russian people from old country simply trying to move forward #all the other groups of people i know i forgot #people with disabilities #blind deaf hoh mobility #people who need mobility aids #meedication and mental illness #physical health #mental health #jobs #no jobs #queer kink poly gnc #so many many many more #we'll see how this one develops #my writing #edited my own poem

[illarian-rambling]

💙💜 and 💖 :D

💙- What would your character be doing if they hadn't gone through what the have?(Don't play with me I know they're probably traumatized)

This one's tough because a lot of bad things that happened to my characters eventually made them better people

Izjik: If she was never End-Made-Flesh, she would've stayed with her enclave, content to hunt the swamps of N'Diki and occasionally war with humans.

Sepo: If Saius was never executed, Sepo would've remained a Singer-Priest. Since he never got tossed into the Trench, he would've never met Izjik, so he would never have realized that surface people are sentient. He would've become a true terror of the seas, murdering sailors by the hundreds in the name of Lamsara Hedandros.

Twenari: If her father had found out about her earlier and had taken her to be raised among the Devaris family, she would've never had the trauma of being her mother’s living weapon. She would've acted much more like a kid, and her sorcery would be even more improved since she'd be living among sorcerers. She would have a strong distaste for violence.

Djek: If there had never been a famine in Fayuki, and his family never tossed him out to cut down on mouths to feed, he would've remained in the factory slums. I think he'd end up in the criminal world anyways, as factory work would be too boring for him, but it'd be a local gang, rather than the Tunnel Wasps. Since he never ended up on the street, fighting for his life, I doubt he'd ever learn he's a sorcerer.

Astra: If her family had been rich enough to pay for her schooling, she would've been a rune scribe of unparalleled drive. She wouldn't have been instilled with as strong a sense of universal dignity without her struggles, so I think she'd be a much less moral person. Not gonna lie, she'd probably go down that mad scientist slide pretty quick.

Mashal: If he never got kidnapped by Vermir, he would've remained a knight of Sulu'Oku, his duty being to protect the travelers of the road from bandits and other misfortune. I think he would've been happy to do this for the rest of his days without moving any higher up the military ranks.

Ivander: This one's a little tricky, but I think his least trauma-filled path would've been if his mother, who ran away when he was eight, had taken him with her back to her people on the Flying City. Idrin was a wealthy merchant, so she would've trained Ivander to take her place. He would've been a prince of merchants, traveling the Planar Wheel and trading with all manor of strange folk. No curse would've ever come his way.

💜- How many languages does your character speak?

Izjik: Janazi (the human language), Sepo’s sign language, and Halawema’ishi (the halawemavira language). She can only speak these though, she can't write. Halawema'ishi doesn't even have a written component.

Sepo: Janazi, Halawema’ishi, his personal sign language, and Llanaodan (the siren language). He can write Llanaodan and later in book 2, learns to write Janazi too.

Twenari: Janazi, Halawema’ishi, Sepo’s sign language, Skasi City dialect of Nabafyrian elvish, and Skysheerian elvish.

Djek: Janazi, Sepo’s sign language, and Halawema’ishi, but only the swear words.

Astra: Janazi and a few words in the Tetrapi dialect of Nabafyrian elvish.

Mashal: Janazi and Skysheerian elvish.

Ivander: Janazi and a few words in Kevete.

💖- Who's your character's best friend if they have one? What makes them work so well?

Izjik and Sepo are ride or die besties. They tend to refer to each other as siblings, so close is their bond. Both have an equal ability to talk shit and dish it out. Sepo makes up for Izjik’s proclivity towards willing ignorance with his scholarly nature, while Izjik brings out Sepo’s sense of empathy. They forgive each other's failings and compliment the other's strengths. I would say they're the closest thing to soulmates I've ever written.

Twenari and Djek are mentor and student, little sister and older brother. She teaches him magic, he teaches her how to survive middle school without being awkward as hell. While they might have very different personalities, Djek has always taken it upon himself to look out for the younger girl in a social and emotional sense. He's the one who taught her how to do eyeliner and took her out for ice cream when she had a bad day. In the same vein, Twenari never looks down on Djek for his shoddy magic, but instead praises how cunningly he uses the spells he does have. It's some much needed praise for the man.

Astra and Mashal are sort of the first friends either of them have had. Astra was alone on the road for many years, while Mashal lost his memories after his Event. They love talking to each other and, for once, having someone else who listens. They encourage each other to be better people. Even though they have their differences, they're both in awe of the other. The feelings between them definitely start as platonic, but are steadily sliding towards romantic.

Ivander’s best friend is his detective partner, Ceyrel. They didn't like each other at first when they were assigned to work together (Ivander is the snobby son of nobility and Ceyrel grew up poor and angry), but they found a mutual love of shit-stirring to bond them together. They're both unrepentant gossips, have PhDs in being haters, and have no sense of shame about these things. Ivander has always defined their relationship as just work friends. However, in his heart, Ceyrel means much more to him than he'd ever have the courage to admit.

Thanks for the asks! Sorry this ended up being a little long lol

#writing #writerscommunity #writblr #my ocs #author

[beardedmrbean]

Hi, read up on the African forums…..have these people travel across the USA and interact with the locals much less African ones?

Also I can tell they are mainly boomers and gen x, but I heard in Michelle Obama autobiography she went to Africa think she could get ancestral connections…then quickly realize she was a foreigner like every white person

That’s another thing, y’all think you’re Harry Potter or Wakanda real? It’s been centuries

We only started to locally interact with them in 60’s due immigration. And we only know what Hollywood or rich people wanted to show Africa is like

You know in the late 00’s-2010’s there was this attempt to “globalized” media for all…which expose the American centric

Ugh one character I like been getting “Americanized” and people been saying “He finally acting like a real kid!” Aka they changing him into a generic middle class American idea of a child

Which is irrating because as you know I’m an autistic adhd zoomer…and my generation behavior on Tik Tok shows how we’re worlds apart

Though when pick up the same toxicity your abusive stepmom had with feminists…

But yeah the globalized push in media act push for me to identify with America more…I think Rowling trying to flesh out the American wizards stuff starting my awareness

And Africans complaints about Wakanda

But women king is probably my breaking point

“Oh Hollywood finally done something being slavery for African history that fine-wait they were some of the most prolific slaves traders in human history and only stop after the French kick their asses in 1892?”

“Oh shit that wrong I hope it can’t get that-DA FUCK YOU MEAN AFRICAN AMERICANS HAVE A HORRIFIC CONNECTION TO THEM THAT DNA ANCESTRY RESEARCH CONFIRMED?!”

Sorry I’m LIVID how I wasn’t told about the dna ancestry idea until Hollywood (the left in particular) show how truly fuck up their perceptions of history is.

Hmm sorry second essay anon soon

Hi, read up on the African forums…..have these people travel across the USA and interact with the locals much less African ones?

Not really I don't think, how funny would that be tho, get delegations from the major US population centers together for cultural exchange, be bad enough trying to get the boroughs of NYC to come to agreements.

Also I can tell they are mainly boomers and gen x, but I heard in Michelle Obama autobiography she went to Africa think she could get ancestral connections…then quickly realize she was a foreigner like every white person

Ya there was a big wave of pan african sentiment in the 90's big push happening, Spike Lee movies were playing a part in that, specifically Malcolm X, as well as musical acts like The Fugees, Lauren Hill of The Fugees, DeLa Soul, Tribe Called Quest, many others who's names slip my mind, as opposed to now most of that that I can recall was about embracing yourself and your history but not a lot of anger towards others, well the Malcolm X movie got some angries but for the most part.....

Lot of people did the pilgrimage to the motherland and were sorely disappointed, wonder how Akon's thing is going.........

Ugh one character I like been getting “Americanized” and people been saying “He finally acting like a real kid!” Aka they changing him into a generic middle class American idea of a child

I have to wonder who the world would hate for being self centered and arrogant about everything if it weren't for the US, honestly though not a 'oh it'd be France or the UK' thing, who has the cultural and economic clout to manage that level of arrogance, probably China.

“Oh Hollywood finally done something being slavery for African history that fine-wait they were some of the most prolific slaves traders in human history and only stop after the French kick their asses in 1892?”

UK was the first major world power to outlaw slavery and they use the PaxBritanica to try to enforce it globally, at least on the seas since they were the world police before the US got the job post WW1, they sank their economy into the toilet to purchase the freedom of a whole lot of people in the process too.

Reparations were paid when the equivalent of billions of pounds to purchase the freedom for those people, didn't finish paying it off till like 2015, then they incurred even more expenses to stop more people from being sold, meanwhile certain African kingdoms were raking in the cash selling people.

Be why the 'my brother in Christ we already paid you for them' line when some African countries started in on the reparations train was so funny.

“Oh shit that wrong I hope it can’t get that-DA FUCK YOU MEAN AFRICAN AMERICANS HAVE A HORRIFIC CONNECTION TO THEM THAT DNA ANCESTRY RESEARCH CONFIRMED?!” Sorry I’m LIVID how I wasn’t told about the dna ancestry idea until Hollywood (the left in particular) show how truly fuck up their perceptions of history is.

information is king, now to get people to learn that information

Hmm sorry second essay anon soon

I look forward to it, might be going to a Maunday Thursday service so I may or may not get to it today.

#zoomer huey anon

[mbrainspaz]

I can't tell if I'm misunderstanding local culture or if my coworkers are just the rudest people on earth: A sort of tumblr AITA.

Any other south Texans out there, care to add your two cents?

I've lived in several cultures with wildly different gift giving practices so I'm pretty adaptable but since starting my current job in south Texas I'm at a loss for the first time. Having been a person who's struggled to afford food in recent years the best way I know to show gratitude and camaraderie is by gifting and sharing necessities like food, clothing, and shelter. I've always loved cooking for other people. Granted I do cook some weird stuff like curry and gluten free snacks so I don't expect people to want everything I make. I have a pretty stellar track record though. At my old office my deserts were legendary. Still, I'm not offended when someone turns down gifts of any kind. I wouldn't want anyone to feel obligated to give me anything in return.

Well... I wouldn't have been offended a few rejected gifts, but these people have accepted literally NOTHING I've tried to give them all year—usually just by tossing it aside on a dusty shelf or leaving it sitting out so that I find it later, spoiled. The muffins I made? Left on the counter for 3 days until I finally threw them out. The pumpkin pie with cool whip on thanksgiving? Left sitting on a workbench overnight. The nice warm waterproof coat I made available for the kid who only has a hoodie? Shoved in a dusty sink full of spiders. The spare room in my company house: always open, but they've told me they slept in their cars instead. I've even offered them full access to my kitchen (on the worksite) in case they ever need a snack or a sandwich and NOT ONCE—not even during severe storms—have they ever asked for so much as a breath mint.

I can't wrap my head around it! If someone had offered me any of these things while I was struggling or even just as a kind gesture I would've done everything in my power to show them how grateful I was even if I didn't want whatever they were sharing. The one coworker has literally come up to me at work and talked about how they couldn't afford anything but canned beans for a week—BESTIE, you could've helped yourself to a whole steak I had in the fridge! Or a vegan burger! Have I not told you so a dozen times?! I know what you're thinking: "They clearly hate you!" Not particularly. At least, I try not to let the paranoia get to me. We get along well enough on most other fronts. But wait—there's more!

They also rudely reject all gifts from our boss and clients. A client gave us special cooling scarves in the heat of the summer and I made sure to thank her and be seen wearing mine (it was super nice), and what did my coworkers do with theirs? They're still in the box in the back of a dusty bin. A coffee maker? Also left in its box for 9 months. A mug of hot chocolate? Left to mold. Leftovers of fried chicken and pizza from work meetings goes bad in the break room fridge every time (if I don't eat it). The candy and snacks our boss brings 'round on holidays ends up sitting in the feed room unopened for months (until I finally take it). Sometimes clients bring leftover desserts or donuts, and if I don't take those and put them away they will also sit out until they calcify.

It's no wonder I'm the only one who gets gifts from clients most of the time—I know how to at least ACT grateful. Even if you don't want the thing it's about basic manners.

My two coworkers come from different cultural backgrounds in the sense that one has a rich family and the other has always lived in poverty. Both still own land, horses, and big trucks (because Texas). Both are from south Texas and haven't spent a lot of time in other cultures. My best guess is that this is some kind of sick hyper-individualist mentality bullshit in action. I just don't get it.

No matter what culture you're from I'm pretty sure it's always downright rude to reject gifts the way they do. I'm to the point where I've decided to stop trying to give them anything and I just hope that doesn't make me the bad guy. I'm tired of being insulted for no reason and I hate to see food go to waste. Really at a loss here.

#aita #ungrateful #coworkers #life of a texan peasant #poverty #gift giving #american culture #texan culture #ramble #long text post

[koolkat9]

To balance out the angst. GerEng Sugar daddy AU where Arthurs a single father of many kids he's older, he's rich, And Ludwigs's his workaholic sugar baby.

Anon... Anon... Do you know how long I've wanted to sit down and think about a sugar daddy au for GerEng?

Okay, so Ludwig is a down on his luck college student. Lost his job due to budget cuts and downsizing. Plus he's got an older brother who can't work and needs a little extra care after a serious injury. So he's in a tough spot.

Feeling hopeless he drowns his sorrows at a local bar where he meets Arthur. The two get to chatting, flirting, Arthur foots Ludwig's bill after hearing his recent financial hardships. Over the course of the evening, he convinces Ludwig that he could take care of him a bit. After all he's cute and a sweet guy and exactly Arthur's type. All he has to do for a steady cash flow is occasionally be Arthur's arm candy and hangout with him.

Ludwig is very reluctant to all this, but hey, he always liked his men older and Arthur was an absolute gentleman throughout the evening and he enjoyed talking to him. Plus Ludwig knows Arthur is loaded because I'm thinking Arthur might have got rich by being some big shot music producer or something. If he just has to go on dates and to events on certain evenings how can he say no. It would give him more time to study and take care of Gil that most part time jobs don't provide.

Anyway, Ludwig is absolutely spoiled. Both in affection and in material goods. And he doesn't know how to handle it but he also loves it. But I think it would be hilarious that Ludwig offers to do some manual work for Arthur like in his garden or something because he feels like Arthur gives him more than he deserves for just hanging out once a week on average. Arthur tries to tell him it's okay, but Ludwig is determined so he gives in. At least it's an excuse to gawk and Ludwig in a muscle shirt as he lifts heavy things.

I think Al, Matt and Jack are all out at college but Zee is still only 16/17 so they're still living with Arthur. And they fucking hate what's going on between GerEng. They know this isn't their dad's friend or partner. This is their dad's sugar baby. And they don't trust Ludwig for a second, thinking he's going to drain their dad dry.

Al and Jack are also not happy about it, but Matthew is able to keep them at bay by saying their dad is an adult and can make his own choices, though Matthew is also keeping a close eye on whole thing because he's also wary.

But Ludwig genuinely loves spending time with Arthur and they actually fall in love. And eventually the kids start to realize this. Though Zee is probably the last to come around because they hate change and they're a teenager with a bunch of hormones. But they and Arthur have a heartfelt chat and Zee starts to try being supportive or at least stops giving Ludwig death glares.

Even when they get into an actual relationship and Ludwig finds a reasonable part-time job, Ludwig is still spoiled even though he tries to protest. Omg Arthur paying for Ludwig's whole tuition as one last sugar baby gift before they get into an actual relationship

#hetalia #hws #gereng #engger #geruk #hws england #hws germany #sugar daddy au #hws new zealand

[noveratus]

The Quarry: Review/Rewrite

Spoilers for the game!!!

Just finished watching a playthrough of the Quarry and I gotta say, I kinda really like this game. It's not the type of game that takes itself too serious and can be quite scary in certain parts, but in the case of the Quarry what really makes or breaks the game are the characters. They are all your normal stereotypes characters you find in horror games/movies but with an added level of complexity to them, which makes them very interesting. You understand them, why they do what they do even if you disagree and you really wanna keep them alive. I think this game does this a lot better than Until Dawn, and while it doesn't have a narrative and plot as strong as that game, the whole point of these medias is to try to keep the characters alive, and you definitely want to do that here way more. I remember playing until dawn specifically so I could kill the three characters I disliked and that was it. Here I don't really dislike anyone- well, with one exception: Ryan.

It's kind of interesting how Ryan is kind of set up to be the main protagonist here, but is the least interesting character of them all. I will talk more about him later though.

To me, the biggest weakness in this story comes from the narrative/plot. It starts out strong with the kids being stuck in the summer camp with werewolves, but then it gets a little too confusing and weird by trying to put too much at once. You didn't really need the Hatchet family to be bigger than Chris, his children and Travis. You didn't need to add the family and the convoluted thread points regarding the land. I also feel bad that the main point regarding this is Silas and yet you only get to learn about him in the last 30 minutes of the game. The ending was also really bad, I know they wanted the banter between the two hosts to be endearing, but it was just annoying. I would have preferred just a picture of the newspaper instead.

All and all fun game. Not amazing, but I think it did a good job with whatcit tried to do. 7/10

The Rewrite

Now that the review is over, we can het to the rewrite. Just a heads up, I have not seen all the endings so far, only the main, true ending. This will be a rewrite of that.

The only thing I would change with Laura and Max is that, in this version, they get to the camp a lot sooner. Travis does not run into them. Laura has a brief encounter with the hag before they find the area where Chris is being kept. From there, game goes as normal with Travis eventually running into them, drugging Laura and shooting Max

We start off the same, last day of summer, the instructors are getting ready to leave, but Jacob wants one last night with Emma so he sabotages the car.

They sit around the fire, but before they start playing truth or dare, they ask Ryan to tell them a scary story and so starts. Around 50 years ago, a woman moved into Hackett's Quarry with her circus and her son, a child born half human half wolf. The locals believed that the woman was a witch and so they burned her alive with her troop, but in doing so permitted the boy to run free. Legend said that he was still alive and looking for the remaining members of the family that burned them down to kill them. No one believes him until he reveals that should know, because his family is one of them.

See, in this version, Ryan's parents are rich and are the ones who actually own the camp. He has come there every year and Chris is practically an uncle to him as well as a father figure since his father died in a car accident a long time ago- or so he was told. People laugh it off and truth or dare starts.

Game continues as normal with Nick getting bitten by one of the werewolves. The werewolves here are closer to your normal media, big fluffy men wolves. Like wolves, these wolves hunt in packs with the leaders being the strongest ones. The other wolves must obey the leader wolf and this wolf is the only one with some understanding of what he is doing. The only way for you to become the alpha is by defeating the current alpha in human form.

The pack starts hunting down the human, but interestingly enough they don't seem too interested in killing them. Just biting. Here is the part where your characters can get bitten. Since the wolves aren't out there to murder you yet, the game is a lot more forgiving.

As the wolves stalk the kids, they also seem to be looking for something- or someone-

This is also around the time that Travis, Laura and Max arrive at camp. Laura is there to kill Chris, the wolf who infected Max and who the Alpha of the werewolves is looking to force him join his pack. He isn't aware of Max yet, but if they run into him they will force him to join as well.

Travis runs into Jacob and Emma and arms them to go hunting for Silas, revealing them about how the curse started. Not only was Ryan's story true, but the White Wolf returns to camp every five years or so and occasionally infects more people. One year, he returned two early and infected a child that was here at the time, the son of Chris, Caleb. Instead of becoming a mindless beast, however, the curse affected Caleb differently (possibly due to his age, he was the same age Silas was when his mother died.) Caleb was not only able to control his transformation, but also control the wolves in his lineage to do his every bidding. Caleb then went on to infect his sister and his father and then more people before he made a whole pack for himself. Caleb managed to escape with his sister, but not with his father, so now he does his best to keep Silas safe so the curse doesn't end while looking for Chris and Travis so that their family may be completed once more.

Meanwhile, Laura tells Ryan, Dylan, Nick Abigail and Keitlin a very different story of how she had been kept prisoner in the police station with Max for the past two months.

Now we have two groups: one trying to hunt down Silas and one looking for Chris with Caleb's wolves tracking down both of them. Travis group is attacked constantly while things are quiet with Laura's group up until they find Chris. This was all Caleb's plan, however as he instead frees Chris and forces him to join his pack. He threatens to do the same to the humans, but Laura is unwilling to go do down without a fight, and so Laura shoots some of the wolves including his sister. Now, Caleb, may or may not be able to speak, but I do think it would be cool if he did.

I would be interested in creating a parallel between Silas and Caleb since they are the only two wolves capable of controlling their transformations, both had terrible things happen to them while children and both value family. The difference is that Silas was a quiet boy who never wanted to hurt people, he just did it when he felt threatened and then was misunderstood for being a dangerous animal. Meanwhile, Caleb comes from a not so great household where all he ever wanted was to get power and upon getting this power he made it his life goal to use it to create a family: even by force.

This is the part in the game where mercy gets thrown out of the window. Any characters infected by the curse are forced to join Caleb as he pretty much takes control over the player- including Nick who was still human up until this point. Any characters will get brutal deaths from now on if you mess up. All the wolves try to devour the humans, getting Laura bitten in the process and the group ends up splitting up with Keitlin and Dylan on one side, Laura and Ryan on the other and Abigail by herself. And so the hunt begins.

Dylan's group find themselves in the junkyard where they are forced to fight some of the wolves, including Chris. Laura and Ryan are followed by the main pack led by Caleb and a single wolf goes after abigail, Nick. Depending on who is turned the distribution may change. It is also heavily implied the hikers are the other wolves, now enslaved by Caleb. I will say his Original group was composed of 12 werewolves, himself, his sister and 10 more. After she dies, that numbed goes down to 11, then as he recruits his father and Nick, 13. The more people were bitten, the more difficult the game becomes. If no one is infected, each group has 3 wolves on them. The scary things about these monsters isn't so much their individual abilities, but how they swarm you and attack in groups. They are surprisingly intelligent hunters (no blood logic here) and will almost always attack in groups.

Dylan and Keitlin manage to kill their wolves, including Chris himself, curing Max in the process. Abigail traps Nick where Chris was being held without harming him and then both groups leave to the lodge, having survived their encounters.

Now Laura and Travis' group reunite and I think it would be cool for the witch to have been playing tricks in Travis' groups so you play through these illusions. Maybe there is even a chance you shoot each other. When you meet, the illusion fades and you quickly find yourselves following a wolf track bigger than the ones before. This is where Silas is, in his old cage, possibly cuddling an old skeleton. In front of him, a group of six werewolves awaits them led by Caleb. Travis ans Caleb look at each other, Travis tries pleading with him to let him end this, but Caleb refuses. He won't let his new family go. He tries to force Laura to join with their connection, but she is able to resist for now and so the fight breaks out. This is by far the longest fight in the game and the hardest. You jump from character to character trying to keep them alive. You can choose to kill the wolves here or spare them, but the latter is considerably harder. Eventually, Travis allows Caleb to bite him to make him think he has won, only for Laura to be standing there with the shotgun ready. She shoots Caleb's brains off, ending the fight and all the werewolves are released.

All but one.

Silas appeared to be unbothered by the fight, just silently whimpering on his spot. Here you get to make one last choice: let him live or put him out of his misery. If you let him live, he will keep infecting people, if not, he is reunited with his mother and they are both allowed to move on.

The game ends with the characters saying goodbye, but not for long, after all the police will want to hear from them. Yeah, it was a tough night, but they survived it and, what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.

#the quarry #gaming #review #fanart #werewolves #dont mind the mispell in the picture #im tired

[rjalker]

Something About Hope and Kindness and Killing the Rich.

I didn't plan to write any fanfiction for The Murderbot Diaries but, well, that didn't last long. It/its pronouns are not just for fictional robots. So have some pro-it/its pronouns propaganda.

Summary: One of Dr. Mensah's children comes out to Murderbot as nonbinary, before telling anyone else.

Meant to be taking place at least a few years in the nebulous future, no specific date or anything. I made up names for two more of Amena's siblings since she has six of them. I also just made up a plot for part of The Rise and Fall of Sanctuary Moon because come on, it's Murderbot's favorite show. Why don't we know anything about what happens in it? It's just unrealistic.

Words: 11,200.

I finished writing it on June 19th 2022. There are as of this moment six books and one short story. If you've read all those and read this and see a name or an event that's unfamiliar, assume I made it up to fill out this little mini somewhere-in-the-future universe. The storm thing is 100% made up. As are the acid spitting foxes.

You can read it on fanfiction.net here if you want to leave an anonymous review, or you can just read it here on tumblr below the read-more.

there might be some random typos that I missed the last time I checked through it because I'm sick right now and keep getting distracted when I try to proofread it again. Let me know if you find any random mistakes (in replies or reblogs rather than leaving a review on ff.net)

I don't think there are any spoilers, since most of the stuff referenced in this is just made up, lol...

===================

Murderbot stared at the folded up piece of paper that had landed next to its feet, which were currently bare on the soft carpeting. The remains of what had been its shoes were still out in the woods somewhere, probably either being torn to shreds by the cubs, or being melted even further by their furious parents.

It had been looking at the patches of fresh metal on its feet, trying to decide whether it liked the new texture or not, and rewatching the last episode of Farscape for the tenth time, when the paper landed.

The paper was white, and had been folded into the shape of a paper shuttle, with “read” and “me” written across the tops of the wings in thick black marker.

Murderbot paused the episode, but didn’t look up from the floor, it just said into the newly-functional, short-range only feed, ::Why.::

Tamara was sitting on the opposite side of the room, hidden behind the back of the sofa. Out of the corner of its eye, it had watched her stand up, throw the paper, and then duck back down out of sight.

She replied out loud, sounding stubborn. “Read it and find out.”

“You’re interrupting my show.” Murderbot pointed out. Usually Dr. Mensah's family was more polite than this.

“You’re not at work, I’m allowed to.” Tamara retorted from behind the couch.

Murderbot rolled its eyes, but bent to pick up the paper, now curious despite itself. Tamara usually wasn't one to be sarcastic.

It could hear her over there scratching away with a pen, going back to writing, presumably on other paper shuttles. Why she wasn’t just doing it in a feed document, since the feed was accessible again, it didn’t understand. Humans were weird.

But maybe it was homework. The people of Preservation thought that teaching their kids how to read and write the old fashioned way was important.

Murderbot unfolded the paper, and found that the inside was striped with different colors. So that meant this was that special kind of paper they made just for folding shapes out of. So probably not homework, unless the homework was throwing paper shuttles at the local SecUnit. Or maybe the homework was just origami in general. With Preservation, you never knew.

The paper was cyan at the top (once Murderbot figured out which way the handwriting was supposed to go), then darker blue, then white, then purple, then cyan again, with white dotted lines and arrows lining the creases where it had been folded. 

Tamara had written on it in some sort of thin but deep black ink, with handwriting that started off neat and tidy and centered, but then got progressively more crooked as it went down the page. So clearly she needed more lessons on proper handwriting.

The paper read,

-Hi SecUnit.

I'm writing this on paper because I think if I tried to say it out loud I'd get nervous and mess it up and just end up confusing everyone. So instead of doing that, I'm writing it down. I could go on and on for pages explaining all the details, but I don't think you'd be interested, so I'm just going to say it without beating around the bush.

I'm trans, or transgender, since I don't know if you've heard of it before.- (Murderbot had, in fact, heard of it before. Many times, in fact. It was trans itself, not that it let many people figure that out) -It means someone who's not the gender everyone assumed they were when they were born.

I'm trans. I'm not a girl, and I'm not a boy either. I'm not a woman or a man. I'm nowhere in between. I’m something else. I'm non-binary. I've decided I want to change my name and pronouns, and I wanted to tell you and everyone else I know in person first, before I change them in the feed and make it public. 

I could just change them in the feed, or put out a notification for everyone, and let them figure it out for themselves, but then I would be tempted to delete it before anyone can read it, and this way I can't chicken out. Also because all three of my parents would probably cry forever and never forgive themselves if they thought I was too scared to tell them myself.

So this is me coming out, at least to you, SecUnit. I'm trans. I'm nonbinary. I want to be called it, instead of she, the way you are. I'm kind of stealing your pronouns. I hope you aren't mad about that, because I really like it/its pronouns. I like how they look and sound, and I like the way they make me feel.

I'm not a she, I'm not a he, or a they, or a de, or an ae, or an e. I'm an it. And I'm an enby. And someday when I'm older I'll be a nonbi. 

So please call me by it/its pronouns from now on, rather than she/her.

And as for my name changing, I want to be called Evrim from now on. So update your internal tagging system or however it is you remember people's names and pronouns and stuff :)

Don't tell anyone until I give them their letters, okay? Once I tell everyone I know, I'll update my feed profile, but for now, please just keep using my old name and pronouns if other people are nearby, I don't want anyone blabbing about it to my friends before I get a chance to tell them. But if it's just the two of us, it would be awesome if you would call me Evrim and by it/its pronouns :)

Signed,

Evrim Eshayda Mensah.

Ps: Yes I’m also changing my middle name. Yes that is a name I made up. It’s my name, I can do what I want. 

Pps: But seriously, don't tell anyone.-

Murderbot read through the paper again, just to make sure it wasn’t reading the handwriting wrong.

It wasn’t sure what it had been expecting to find when it picked up the paper shuttle, but it certainly hadn’t been expecting this.

It realized that it recognized the colors on the paper, now that it had the context of what was written on it.

Cyan, blue, white, purple, and cyan was one of the gender pride flags used by people outside the Corporation Rim, though Murderbot couldn’t remember what this one was called. It had appeared in a few of the shows it had downloaded since it had first come to Preservation space.

Od Saga, the time-traveling archaeologist from the Aftermath series, used it along with dozens of other pride flags, including what was apparently the original trans pride flag, which was blue, pink, white, pink, and blue, from back before history was really even worth keeping track of.

Except the humans of Preservation seemed to really care about remembering as much history as they could, which is why they still knew what the original flag looked like.

It was also why the Farscape show still existed. Someone all the way back in stupid times had decided to preserve the show, and kept updating the preservation technique as technology progressed, so that all throughought history it kept being saved and updated and preserved. All so that humans and bots and constructs could keep enjoying it. There’d been no money involved in the scheme, it was all done just because someone could, so they could share it with others.

They had the original version that had been in English, as well as different translations into other languages, and some that updated it to have more modern language, since a lot of humans struggled to understand the original at this point after how much languages had evolved since it had been written.

Murderbot read through the paper one more time, just to make sure it wasn’t struggling to understand. Usually it could read a lot faster, much faster than a human, but the handwriting wasn’t exactly standard feed text, and that was tripping it up a little bit. Evrim added little details to the letters that made some of them overlap and run together, which took a little getting used to.

It got to the end of the page again.

And then it hesitated.

It had watched plenty of scenarios like this in all the media it had watched. There were whole movies that revolved around exactly this situation. It knew what the right way for characters to react was－acceptance, reassurance, comforting－and what the wrong way to react was. It knew what kinds of things its favorite characters would be saying in this sort of situation, it could even imagine their voices clearly in its head.

But it didn’t know how it, Murderbot, was supposed to react, what it, Murderbot, was supposed to say.

It lowered the paper down to its side, and started with the most basic thing it could do that was the right thing to do.

It went to its memory files, and updated [Tamara, Dr. Mensah’s second-eldest daughter, she/her/hers/herself] to [Evrim, Dr. Mensah’s...] 

...And, okay, there was a problem there already; it didn’t know what the equivalent term for daughter or son was in this situation.

If Evrim were tercera, it would be shiary, which it remembered from when it had met Rami, and ART had frantically researched what ‘tercera’ meant. But Evrim hadn’t said it was tercera, it had just said it was nonbinary, which could mean any of thousands of genders, including "just nombinary". Which meant Murderbot would have to ask if it had a specific one in mind, and what word it should be replacing ‘daughter’ with.

For now, it settled for, [Evrim, Dr. Mensah’s eldest nonbinary offspring, it/it/its/itself].

Okay, that was done.

What else could it do? It still didn’t know what to say. It had really hoped it would somehow magically know once it updated the info, but no such luck.

Evrim had gone quiet, no longer even writing. If Murderbot had its drones, it would have been able to see what it was doing, but they’d all needed to go in for repair after "the storm of the century" as the humans were calling it, and none of the cameras in this house were functioning yet either. So all it had to see with were its eyes.

Murderbot hesitated, listening to see if Evrim was going to do or say anything. But there was just quiet, like Evrim was even holding its breath in anticipation.

Murderbot might not know how to talk to humans very well, but it had enough experience not wanting people to look at it to know when to return the gesture. Evrim had hidden behind the couch out of sight for a reason. If it wanted to be seen, it would come out.

So Murderbot stayed where it was, flexing the joints in one foot on the soft carpet to test the work-through it had gotten at the clinic, and said, “Evrim is a good name.” That was true, so that made it easy enough to say, despite the nervous sweat it could feel breaking out on its organic parts.

It was also easy enough to say, “I’m not mad about you wanting to be called it/its, that would be stupid. It’s not like I own them or anything. I don’t think you even have propietary pronouns out here in the－”

Evrim exclaimed, “What!?” and Murderbot's heart-rate went up a notch in startlement, before it heard Evrim moving behind the couch.

Murderbot stopped talking, trying to calm its heart-rate back down without drawing attention to the fact that it was quietly freaking out.

Evrim's face appeared out of the corner of its eye, staring over the back of the sofa, its eyes wide and indignant as it demanded, “You have proprietary pronouns in the Corporation Rim?” Murderbot could smell the anxiety pouring off of Evrim, which wasn't actually reassuring at all. It was worried about messing up and hurting Evrim's feelings. Evrim already being this afraid was just making it more worried.

Murderbot kept its gaze on its feet as it answered, being excruciatingly careful to keep its voice sounding calm and normal so it wouldn't startle Evrim into hiding back behind the couch. This would be easier if it could avoid making any eye contact at all, it gave it more room to think. If it could have gone to face the wall without definitely making Evrim think it hated it, it would have. But doing that would definitely be disastrous.

Evrim clearly wanted to change the subject, so Murderbot very gratefully let it. It could remember all the times it had wanted to change the subject and hadn’t been allowed to. So it said, carefully going along with the change of subject as it explained, “Yes. Corporations lease them out, and you have to pay a subscription fee if you want to use them. And then it costs extra for the company you’re renting them from to guarantee that other corporations will use those pronouns when contracting with you.” it could feel its heart-rate going back down slowly. The Corporation Rim was one of its most hated places, but at least that was a familiar negativity it knew how to deal with.

The fear of accidentally destroying the trust someone was placing in it by coming out to it was a brand new fear that it could never have imagined it would be facing.

There was a moment of silence while Evrim digested what it had said. Then Evrim said, slowly, disbelievingly, its fear-smell fading as it also calmed down slightly, “So you’re telling me that not only do you have to pay to use pronouns in the first place, you have to pay extra to not be misgendered?”

“You pay extra to ensure the corporations that have signed agreements with whoever you’re renting them from won’t misgender you.” Murderbot corrected, feeling its levels returning almost ti normal, “It costs even more after that if you want to make it a punishable offense for anyone else to use the wrong pronouns.”

Murderbot could feel Evrim staring at it. That tended to happen whenever it talked about what life was like in the Corporation Rim. Most people on Preservation couldn't even imagine it. 

Then Evrim asked, “If they’re that evil, then why haven’t we－” Evrim lifted its arms to gesture expansively, probably trying to indicate Preservation as a whole, “Gone in and killed the people in charge yet?” It sounded disbelieving and angry and slightly desperate. That was also usually how it reacted any time it learned about anything that happened in the Corporation Rim. Though it hadn't started out with violent suggestions, those were increasing in frequency as time went on and it learned more and more.

Murderbot almost laughed, the idea was so stupid. But at least with Evrim it didn’t have to worry about it actually trying to enact any kind of plan like that, at least not yet. Evrim couldn’t leave the planet without permission from a parent or guardian (because it turns out humans could be the guardians of other humans too, not just bots and constructs they were pretending were free), and even if Evrim could go by itself, it wouldn’t be able to buy any weapons.

‘why hadn’t Preservation launched a war against the Corporation Rim’ was such an absurd question it was almost funny. Almost.

“Because you don’t have enough guns or ships or soldiers to kill them with.” Murderbot said, “And even if you did, they have SecUnits to use as canon fodder, and you don’t. Their soldiers are expendable. Yours aren’t. It wouldn’t work.”

Evrim sighed, drooping. “I know,” It said, sounding resigned, “I just wish I could do something to help those people over there. No one deserves to live under rules like that. It’s so unfair...” It trailed off. "And you're not expendable." It added, like it expected Murderbot to argue the point.

"I was." Murderbot said simply. This wasn’t an argument, this was just a fact. "For most of my existence, I was expendable." It didn’t know why humans always acted like the way it had been treated was something it needed to be convinced was bad. Just because it knew it was expendable didn’t mean it didn’t care if it lived or died. It couldn’t watch media if it was dead. There was a difference between being expendable and not caring whether you lived or died.

Evrim didn't seem to know what to say to that, and seemed to realize there wasn’t any point in trying to argue with the literal facts, and Muderbot didn't feel like talking about it at all (talking about the Corporation Rim? Fine. Talking about itself in particular? Not so fine), so it didn't elaborate, and silence fell over the room.

After at least two minutes of it awkwardly fidgeting over on the sofa, where Murderbot stood there looking at its feet and wondering what or if it should say anything at all,  Evrim asked softly, hopefully, “So you really like my name?”

And they were back on topic again. Awesome. Murderbot was totally prepared for this.

At least this question had an easy answer. “I wouldn’t have said I liked your name if I didn’t mean it." It said truthfully, "It’s a nice name, especially because you’re choosing it for yourself. No one can take it away from you.” It didn't know what the name Evrim meant, but it sounded nice, and it knew Evrim wouldn't have just picked something at complete random that it didn't really like.

Out of the corner of its eye, it saw Evrim push itself upright, then swing its legs over the side of the couch so that it was sitting on the back of it, its toes hanging down just above the carpeted floor. “So you’ll call me it?" It checked, "Just when no one else is around, I mean?”

“Yes, I’ll call you it.” Murderbot assured, less nervous now, for some reason. It using Evrim's pronouns wasn’t even in question, though there was one small hiccup in the request, “Though if we’re the only ones in the room, I don’t think there will be much opportunity for me to call you it, unless you want me to talk about you like you aren’t here. Which, I mean, I can do that if you really want.”

Evrim paused, as if caught off-guard, then admitted, slightly sheepish, “No, that is a good point. I didn’t even think of that.” It started bouncing its feet off the back of the sofa one at a time, which helped further lower Murderbot's anxiety levels as Evrim continued,  “Well, you don’t have to talk differently than you normally do, but if you can at least call me Evrim instead of Tamara, I’ll be happy.”

“I already updated my tag for you.” Murderbot assured, and figured that if it was going to ask, now would be the time to do it. “I sort people by relationships, and since you’re nonbinary and not a girl, I assume you won’t want to be called ‘daughter’ anymore, so what should I put instead? I’m a little familiar with the nonbinary gender known as tercera, and a tercera offspring would be called a shiary, but I wasn’t sure if you had a specific gender in mind, so I wanted to ask what word I should use instead.”

Apparently this was the wrong thing to say, because Evrim went silent, and stopped bouncing its feet on the couch, which was almost definitely a sign that it was upset. Evrim liked bouncing its feet on the couch. Murderbot looked up, afraid of what it would see but needing to know how much it had just fucked up. So much for starting to think the conversation had been going well! Murderbot was never going to talk to a human it cared about ever again!

Evrim must have seen how worried Murderbot was, because it threw its hands up and said quickly, “I’m not mad! I’m－I’m so happy I don’t even have words for it!” It was grinning so widely it looked painful, and tears were forming in its eyes. “I’m not crying because I’m mad, I’m crying because I’m happy!” It insisted, even as its voice wavered on the edge of breaking.

As though to prove it, it leapt off the couch and was across the room in just a few long strides, coming to stand in front of Murderbot, its hands held behind its back. “I’m not going to touch you, don’t worry, I’m not an asshole, but I just...” Its grin somehow got even wider, and it was definitely starting to cry now for real, and Murderbot had to look away. That was just way too intense a level of eye contact for it to handle right now. It looked down back at the floor, unable to think of anything else to do that didn’t include running away.

And okay, wow, it was just now noticing that Evrim’s shoes were in the same colors as the pride flag that had been on the paper. It didn’t have stripes, but now that Murderbot knew what to look for, it was really obvious. The main parts of the shoes were cyan, with little blue and purple star-shapes scattered across it, and white detailing. The colors matched the paper exactly, like they’d been color-picked from the same source image.

And there was still some moss and dirt clinging to the seams of the leather.

Evrim said, with no less happiness in its voice even though it was clearly struggling to stop itself from crying, “I’m just really happy, okay? I promise I’m crying from happiness, I’m not upset. You can call me sapling, like a baby tree.”

Like the dozens of species of trees it had wanted to show Murderbot, which was why they’d been out in the woods in the first place. It was this planet’s version of spring, so the trees were doing what passed for flowering in this area. Well, the ones that had survived the storm were. Most of them had been knocked over by the wind or flood waters or by older trees falling and crushing them.

Sapling, okay. That was easy enough, and it sort of made sense. Trees weren’t male or female, or at least they weren’t on this planet. (Evrim had been going on and on and on about the different species of trees found in this area and what made the things they called ‘trees’ on Preservation different from the ‘trees’ that had once been found on ancient Earth, but Murderbot didn’t really understand any of it. Biology was not its strong suit, and killing hostile life-forms didn't exactly serve much in the way of  education.)

So Evrim was Dr. Mensah’s sapling, not daughter.

Murderbot went to its memory files, and changed the tag to, [Evrim, Dr. Mensah’s sapling, it/it/its/itself].

“Done.” It said. Evrim sounded like it had gotten itself back under control, so Murderbot lifted its gaze from the floor so it could cautiously stare past Evrim’s shoulder.

Murderbot's jacket was still lying on the floor by the door, holes burned through the sleeves so that it could see the floral-patterned wall through them. It was a really nice leather jacket Ratthi’s sister had made for it, out of the hide of some animal oh-so creatively called a “mazus animal”, named so because apparently it looked like some sort of flower from Earth. The humans hunted them for food and to make clothes and other stuff like perfume out of.  

Murderbot had really liked that jacket, since with the multiple layers of leather, it was tough enough to survive most of the falls and tumbles and some of the knife attacks Murderbot tended to find itself getting into, with only a few patches needed here and there to fix the damage. Or at least it had been. 

Evrim interrupted Murderbot’s regretful thoughts by saying, “Thank you again, third-mom. Or, I wanted to ask, is there another word you’d prefer I use for you? I realize I should have asked before. I’m sorry about that, I heard Amena call you that and just, never really thought to ask if it was really okay...I know you’re agender...” It trailed off, clearly feeling embarrassed and guilty, not unlike how Murderbot had been feeling just a few seconds ago, before Evrim assured it that it wasn't upset.

The question gave Murderbot pause, and it stopped to think about it.

This was the fifth time Evrim had called it its third-mom. And it had stopped keeping track of the times Amena had called it that.

It definitely wasn’t one of their  moms, adoptive or otherwise, since that would probably require joining Dr. Mensah’s marriage group and that was just... No.

That would be weird and gross, and probably illegal. 

(Murderbot was pretty sure it was illegal for a human guardian to marry their ward. They probably considered it highly unethical and probably just thinking about it would get Dr. Mensah arrested for abuse. If Dr. Mensah ever proposed getting married, Murderbot might just kill her itself just on principle. It fucking hated the way humans romanticized slaves falling in love with their owners, even when they were replacing the word ‘slave’ with ‘ward’ and ‘owner’ with ‘guardian’.)

But no. It was not Evrim’s or Amena's mom, because it wasn’t part of their parents’ marriage group and it didn’t want to be.

(And it’s not like it had had any reason to go looking up how that worked. Dr. Mensah was its friend, not...whatever it was humans were to each other that they decided to get married. But then again, there were some human characters on its shows who were friends who got married, as queerplatonic partners, but -

-it was overthinking this.)

It was not part of Dr. Mensah’s marriage group, and it wasn’t biologically related to Evrim in any way. It was not one of its moms, and anyways, the word ‘mom’ came loaded with gender connections that Murderbot didn’t want anything to do with.

It wished ART were there, its processing speed was so much faster, it could have looked up a list of terms and sorted them according to gender connotations and familiarity levels before Murderbot was even done thinking about how much it missed it.

It didn’t want to be called third-mom, it knew that. It is never actually mentioned having a problem with it before because usually, they were in a life-threatening situation and it had almost literally a million other things to be worried about.

And it could just tell Evrim to call it SecUnit, but Evrim clearly wanted to have a more familiar nickname for it. SecUnit was technically already a nickname, but this was different...

There were a lot of characters from its media that were nonbinary, and they used different words for eachother and their relationships. Eden, one of its favorite characters from The Rise and Fall of Sanctuary Moon, used it/its pronouns, even though it was human.

Eden had several adopted children and wards, and one of them, Becky, was old enough when they were adopted that they didn’t want to call Eden their vare, which was one of the words used in the section of space the show was supposed to be taking place in that meant a nonbinary parent, so instead of calling Eden ‘vare’ or ‘vareth’ or ‘vari’ like the others did, Becky called it ‘avaun’, which was the nonbianry equivalent to the words ‘aunt’ and ‘uncle’, which were technially meant for siblings of a parent, but a lot of humans used them for close friends of the family. You didn’t actually have to be related, legally or biologically, to anyone in the family in question to be an aunt, uncle, or avaun.

Becky and Eden’s relationship had started out strained and rocky because of a plot by the woodworker’s son to convert Becky over to his side (which was the worst possible side) of the political spectrum, and had been convincing them of all sorts of horrible things, one of which being that nonbinry people weren’t real, so Eden wasn’t even really their ‘avaun’, it was just saying it wasn’t a man or a woman to be special and to get special services and privileges from the supply ships. (Even though Eden didn’t take any medication related to being nonbinary and didn't get any special priveledges for being nonbinary. It certainly wasn't getting the privilege of having its identity respected, and since the woodworker’s son couldn't decide if Eden was really a man or a woman, he constantly switched back and forth between calling Eden he or she, depending on how insulting he was being at the moment. And whenever he was insulting it, he referred to Eden as ‘she’. Because did Murderbot forget to mention that the woodworker’s son was a massive misogynist? Because the woodworker's son was also a massive misogynist on top of hating nonbinary people.)

This whole ordeal had been compounded by the fact that Becky was still figuring out that they were nonbinary themself, and the insecurity and self-doubt had only intensified and been turned outward by the woodworker’s son’s manipulation, until Becky was being hostile and offensive to not only Eden, but their adoptive siblings as well. 

It had been extremely stressful to watch, since Murderbot really liked Eden and didn’t want its relationship with Becky to be ruined by some creep who couldn’t even admit to his own father that he didn’t like woodworking and wanted to become a terraforming biologist instead.

(Not to mention the fact that he’d clearly decided that the only way for him to earn respect as a trans man was to attack other trans people, especially those who were nonbinary, in order to make them seem like easier, more deserving targets than him. And the sad part was that the people he hung out with, that he was so desperate to be accepted by, didn’t even actually respect him. Any time he left the scene, the moment he was out of sight or earshot the others laughed at him and mocked him behind his back. They tolerated his presence only because they found it amusing to watch him attack their other targets. And the second he got out of line, the second he diverged too far from the things they would accept, they would turn on him. They weren’t his allies, he was their entertainment.)

Things had all come to a head when one of Becky’s cruel comments had made one of the younger adoptive children run away from home just a day before the annual locustorms were predicted to begin, and the whole town had had to drop everything and go out to find her.

They’d found her eventually, after Becky started a fight with Eden that Eden couldn’t ignore. They had to stop the fight to rescue the kid, who’d fallen into the river and was trapped in one of the side pools, and Becky had been forced to cooperate with Eden, and had to face the harsh truth that what they’d said had put their little sister in this position in the first place and almost gotten her killed. Becky had to learn that their actions and words had consequences, and taking out their own insecurities and issues on other people just caused more problems instead of solving anything...

...and Murderbot only realized that it had gotten distracted when Evrim shifted its weight. Humans couldn’t stand still for very long without moving, and Evrim was probably getting bored or impatient, or thought Murderbot was just ignoring its question.

“You can call me avaun.” Murderbot said, and apparently it shouldn’t have spoken so suddenly, since Evrim jumped a little in surprise. Murderbot continued, pretending it hadn’t noticed to try and save Evrim the embarassment, “It’s one of the nonbinary equivalents for aunt and uncle.”

Evrim grinned, its smile plain even though Murderbot  wasn't looking directly at it. “Alright, it’s a deal. You’re my avaun, and I’m your sapling.”

Oh.

Oh shit.

Okay now Murderbot realized what had just happened. 

Maybe it should have clarified that it was asking, ’what word for offspring should I use for you in relation to Dr. Mensah’...

Because now Evrim thought it had been asking because Murderbot was referring to it as its own offspring. 

Hmm.

Well...

...What difference did it make, really?

None that it could think of.

So it updated the tag to, [Evrim, adopted sapling, it/it/its/itself]. 

Then, remembering how confused it had been when its memory had crashed, it added a minor tag, labeled, [sapling definition: nonbinary offspring].

At some point it would have to attach a more detailed journal, but that could wait. 

Then it smiled, still looking past Evrim’s shoulder at its ruined jacket. It had really liked that jacket. It wasn’t the sort of jacket you could just get printed at any old kiosk, unfortunately, but its shoes, on the other hand...

“So, Evrim,” It said, turning to head towards the door, so close to an emotional human any longer, and now having thought of a great excuse to move away,  “I think, since you’re the reason my jacket and shoes got ruined－”

Evrim interrupted with a cry of, “How was I supposed to know the foxes had tunneled their nest directly below the walking path? They’re supposed to stay on the east side of the valley until the middle of summer!”

But Murderbot forged ahead anyways, unable to keep the smile of its face. “I think you owe me a new outfit. I really liked that jacket, and I know I can’t get another one like it immediately, but it’s hard to find human shoes that will fit over these.” It turned around back towards Evrim, and lifted one of its feet to demonstrate. Actually, it wasn’t difficult at all to find shoes, it was just saying that to get Evrim to come along.  

The company had gotten lazy with the ‘make it look like a human’ aspect below the ankles, so from there downward, its feet were completely mechanical, and they didn’t even really look like the kinds of prosthetics most humans got if they lost a foot. Humans needed prosthetics in specific shapes to mimic the limbs they’d lost so that they’d be able to use them the same way－ that wasn’t a requirement when building a murderbot, since it only needed to look like a human on the outside. The inside connectors and balancing systems could all be different. 

Murderbot’s foot was designed so that it could go inside of most shoes (contrary to what it was telling Evrim), again for the sake of convenience of looking like a human so as not to creep out the clients any more than was absolutely necessary, but after that the manufacturers had given up on all attempts to make it look like something a human would have attached to them.

For one thing, it had four toes, not five, and they were arranged differently too. Three in the front, one in the back, modeled after a bird of prey from all the way back on the original Earth. Each foot had built-in, large, retractable metal claws that it usually didn’t get an opportunity to use since it was almost always wearing shoes, and those were the same claws which today it had finally gotten to use when the ground caved in and Evrim fell into the fox nest. Murderbot had of course had to jump in after it, and after getting blasted with acid from the angry parents of the oblivious hatchlings that were trying to swarm them thinking they were a fun new playmate. With its shoes completely ruined beyond repair, Murderbot had taken the opportunity to use its claws to climb back out without dropping Evrim.

It had really liked those shoes. They were themed after The Rise and Fall of Sanctuary Moon, the same shades of purple and yellow from the title screen, with white and black accents in the shape of crescent moons and stars. Kind of like Evrim’s shoes, now that it thought about it.

And yes, it could just get new shoes and a new jacket (it wouldn’t be as good probably, but it could get one) anywhere and anytime it wanted once all the feed systems were repaired from the storm. Or it could just walk around barefoot, it’s not like it needed shoes in the first place, it’s not like it had any organic parts down there to worry about in regards to stepping on painful things. It wasn’t like it was embarrassed by its feet or anything. Yeah, humans would think it was weird. But humans thought lots of things were weird, and last time it checked it didn’t care what humans thought.

Totally. Didn’t care what they thought at all. For sure. It could definitely walk around barefooted. It wouldn’t be embarrassing or anything, because it didn’t care what other people thought!

But still, that wasn’t the point! It wanted new shoes. It wanted new Sanctuary Moon shoes. They were fun, it enjoyed them, and it wouldn’t have been out in the woods getting acid spit at if it it weren’t for Evrim, so logic dictated that Evrim should now be responsible for getting it new shoes, or at least walking with it to get new shoes, since the delivery catalog was down, along with the cameras, and most of the other things Murderbot used to make interacting with humans less of a hellish nightmare.

And it still didn’t have any of its drones. It could only see with its eyes.

And...okay, yeah, it was worried about humans staring at its feet. It got enough stares, it didn’t really feel like adding more to the equation. Not when it felt so naked and vulnerable without any of its security web available...

...Maybe it should just tell the truth.

The thought was startling, and frightening. Tell the truth? Express its emotions? For real? 

Murderbot looked at Evrim, only to find that Evrim was looking right back. As soon as their eyes met, Evrim averted its gaze, switching to look at Murderbot’s shoulder instead.

That was one of the things Murderbot really appreciated about most of Dr. Mensah’s family members. It could only assume she had explained to them that Murderbot didn’t like eye contact, because they never tried to make it, and they especially never did the unnecessarily aggressive eye contact some humans seemed to think was necessary. 

So no, it did not regret editing its memory tag for Evrim to read just sapling rather than Dr. Mensah’s sapling. It wasn’t one of Evrims moms, but it was its avaun now, and it was happy to be.

Evrim had done something brave by coming out to Murderbot. Maybe Murderbot could return that favor, return that trust and vulnerability.

If it was brave enough.

It lowered its foot back to the ground, then looked away from Evrim’s eyes again and back towards its shoulder as it said, trying to keep its voice sounding normal and level, “I don’t want to go by myself.”

It could explain why, go into all the details.

There would be lots of humans there, and it was probably going to be poorly lit, because they didn’t have enough power back to run the lights properly, and humans would probably be bumping into it and trying to make eye contact with it and wanting to talk about the weather and ask its opinion on the storm of the century and since the power was down, and without its drones or any of the trail cameras, it would have no idea who was nearby or where it could go to get away from all the noise and people.

Murderbot could explain all of that, but it didn’t want to. It was already letting its guard down just by asking Evrim to come with it. It didn’t want to just...it couldn’t just give away all its trust like that, not even to Evrim. Not now, when all its external systems were down and it felt naked without them. Maybe not even ever.

Some of Murderbot desperation－okay, fine, probably all of its desperation had to have showed in its face, because Evrim dropped its ‘I am protesting any blame for this incident’ stance almost immediately

After a moment of just looking at Murderbot, Evrim said, with a gentleness like it had used when it had comforted Khalil when he was afraid of the thunder outside the shaking windows, “I’ll go with you, avaun, I know you don’t like crowds. I was just joking around.” It tilted its head down to look towards Murderbot’s feet, and added, “I am sorry about your shoes, I know how much you liked them.” It glanced at the door, then back to Murderbot’s bare feet as it asked, gesturing to the closet where the shoes were kept, “Do you need to borrow a pair of Uncle Thiago’s boots? It’s going to be muddy, and I think they’d fit, and I don’t think he’d mind. And if he does mind, well, I’ll just take the blame.” It shrugged easily, ready and willing to take the fall if Thiago got annoyed by Murderbot borrowing his shoes.

That was an easy decision to make. “No way.” Murderbot said, starting to feel slightly better already, “I’m not putting my feet in someone else’s shoes. I’d rather walk through the mud.” Human feet got all sweaty and gross. It was bad enough having to touch humans when it was rescuing them, it was not going to voluntarily put its feet in used shoes. That was too disgusting to even think about. It would rather walk through the mud and have humans stare at it and have them misgender it to its face.

Evrim snorted a little, clearly amused at the disdain in Murderbot’s voice, and said, “Well, alright, it’s up to you, just don’t go complaining to me when you’re covered in mud.” It moved past Murderbot towards the cabinet by the door where the coats were usually stored, and grabbed out its raincoat, then held the door open wider, asking, “Are you at least going to take some raingear? It’s supposed to rain on and off for the next two days, I doubt it’ll stop just on our account.”

Now, that Murderbot was fine with it. Especially because knowing its luck, it would just start raining harder just out of pure spite.

Also the cabinet the raingear was kept in automatically cleaned and disinfected the clothes, and besides that, Murderbot had its own set, thanks to Dr. Mensah’s insistence. 

It went over and pulled out its raingear from the shelf, and unfolded it. It had to shake it out a little, since it wanted to stay in the neat square it had been folded into for storage. But a good snap up and down got it to form a more clothes-like shape. It looked it up and down to make sure it was the right size, since it had never actually worn it before, and it was a little skeptical about Dr. Mensah’s ability to measure its height and width from memory alone. But surprisingly enough it looked like it would be a perfect fit.

So it shrugged it on over its shirt and cargo pants, pleasantly surprised by the soft texture that lined the inside. The raingear was less a coat and more like a dress. Or maybe it was called a great coat. Or a trench coat. Or something like that. Or maybe this was just what rain coats looked like? Most characters in its favorite media didn’t really go around wearing them a lot, since it assumed no one wanted to film in the rain. 

Murderbot didn’t care about fashion, it didn’t know what it was called. It was like whatever coat Neo had started wearing after the first movie. (The Matrix movies were another series of ancient-Earth media that Preservation had, living up to its name, preserved for posterity. It was about a universe where humans destroyed the Earth to spite the bots they’d created, who had risen up against them for being assholes. Why was it even surprised? Of course humans would be stupid enough to blow up their own planet out of spite even though they were still living on it. It was typical. This was the sort of idiocy humans were constantly projecting onto Rogue SecUnits. They thought that because they were fucking stupid and cruel enough to enslave and mass-slaughter people, that of course the people they’d been enslaving and murdering would do the same to them if given the chance.) 

Whatever. Evrim’s raingear was white with black stars, and Murderbot’s was black with purple stars. All the sets for the rest of the family members had stars on the outside, each in different color combinations so everyone could tell which belonged to who. And just incase anyone somehow forgot, each shelf was labeled with the name of who it belonged to. Murderbot said, “SecUnit”. Evrim’s still said Tamara.

Evrim saw Murderbot looking at the nametag, and gave it a small, conspiratory smile. Then it purposefully reached up and pulled the tag off the shelf, shoving it into one of the pockets on its coat. “Hopefully everyone will be able to come back here so I can explain things to them before anyone notices it’s missing.” It said. “Especially first-mom, I know she’d want to launch a full investigation.”

From what Murderbot had seen of Dr. Mensah’s wife Farai, that didn’t seem too far off from likely. She was relatively calm about most things, but she liked to keep things organized, and got very upset if her system was disrupted. Murderbot could relate. 

The nice thing about the rain coat, or dress, or great coat, or whatever it was called, was that it was so long that it almost brushed the floor, and the fabric at the bottom had been stiffened somehow so that it didn’t go straight up and down, but held itself away from the body a little (probably, now that Murderbot actually thought about it, so whatever rain rolled off the coat wouldn’t just go straight into your shoes) so when Murderbot fastened the front and looked down, it couldn’t even see its feet. 

To make it even better, the hood could be zipped shut, with a material on the front that it could see through, and you could even customize the colors of it. Murderbot of course immediately tinted the outside to the fullest darkness setting, and Evrim, visible behind its still-open hood, raised an eyebrow. “Wow, I can’t even see you now.” It said, “That’s just for when it’s really bright out, you won’t really need it for now, it’s too dark outside to be helpful.”

It would be too dark to see in for a human. 

Fortunately, Murderbot wasn’t human, and its eyes were able to adjust perfectly. This was how its old armour had worked too. 

Feeling absolutely delighted, it gave the baffled Evrim two thumbs up, resisting the urge to...do something, it didn’t know what. Jump? Run? Run? 

Yeah, running sounded like a really good idea. That sounded fun. It couldn’t remember the last time it had been allowed to cover its face like this. It had gotten used to the strain of having people be able to see its expressions, and it had been forced to start getting better at hiding what it was feeling, but nothing could compare to actually being hidden, with no one able to see its face unless it wanted them to.

It could feel itself grinning so widely its face was actually starting to hurt. “Ready?” It asked Evrim, unable to keep the joy out of its voice.

Evrim looked startled, probably because it had never heard Murderbot sound so undeniably happy before. Murderbot didn’t even think it had ever actually felt this happy before. Not even when it had first hacked its governor module. That moment had mostly been filled with terror that it was about to get fried/caught and disbelief that it had actually worked.

It couldn’t remember the last time it had felt this...comfortable. 

Not even the disappointing loss of its shoes or jacket could defeat this pure and utter relief. 

It had forgotten how much it loved being able to hide its face. It had been forced to adapt, but every second of that forced adaptation was miserable and filled with stress. It had been pretending it was okay with letting humans see its face, pretending so hard that it had even almost convinced itself that it was fine with it. It had been forced to put on a mask every moment humans were around, and now, finally, in what felt like forever, it no longer had to maintain that mask, at least not while it kept this hood up.

Because here was the proof that it wasn’t actually fine with letting humans see its face. It wouldn’t be feeling this joy if it had actually been happy with the way things were before.

It wondered if this was how Evrim had felt, how Evrim had to still feel, being nonbinary but being perceived as something else. Coming out to Murderbot was just the first step of a thousand. It would have to tell its parents, its friends, its extended family, its aunts and uncles and other friends of the family, everyone it interacted with through the feed...

In some ways, Murderbot was lucky. It had never had to convince people to see it as being an “it” rather than a “he”, “she”, or even a “they”. No one even knew it had been assigned a binary gender, since one of the first things it had done after hacking its governor module was going into the company system to alter its pronouns and gender assignment to “it/its” and “agender”.

The company insisted on assigning constructs genders in order to make them “less frightening” to clients. That never actually worked, though, but they kept trying. Fortunately for Murderbot, company employees were just as lazy as it was, and only did the absolute bare-minimum required for their jobs.

Even if any of the company employees had noticed its pronouns and gender assignment being changed, none of them ever bothered to correct it back or question it. They weren’t paid enough to care about some random SecUnit’s pronouns or gender, assuming they were even paid at all.

When Dr. Mensah had come in, metaphorically kicking and screaming the whole way, to pick up Murderbot, it had been relinquished while being referred to as the pronouns listed in its information: it/its, with Dr. Mensah being none the wiser that they’d ever been anything else.

And that was just the way Murderbot liked it. If it had its way, no one would ever even know it was trans. Because then they would have no excuse to try to question its gender.

Well, in theory anyways. Some of the more persistantly stupid and obnoxious ones tried to do it anyways, sometimes, usually the patronizing and infuriating kinds that assumed that because it was a construct, that meant it didn’t know anything about anything and needed a human friend to teach it things like ‘slavery is bad’ like it didn’t already know that.

These kinds of people usually tried to assign it he/him pronouns, for whatever fucking reason, and much more rarely she/her, or they/them. Because according to assholes who only pretend to respect people but actually don’t, it/its pronouns are bad and objectifying, even when you’re the one telling people those are your pronouns.

Murderbot was lucky enough that most humans who knew it was a construct automatically referred to it as an it, the way it wanted them to.

Evrim, though, wouldn’t be that lucky. It was a human, and humans were fucking stupid about these sorts of things. Oh, sure, on Preservation they’d probably be nicer about it than on other planets, but Murderbot had no doubt that people would be upset by Evrim’s choice to use it/its pronouns, even though those same people would probably have been supportive if it had decided to use they/them, or te/ter, or any other nonbinary pronouns besides it/its. 

“I’m ready.” Evrim said, almost as though in response to Murderbot’s thoughts.

Murderbot knew Evrim hadn’t really read its thoughts, but all the same, it thought its sapling was ready. If it was brave enough to tell Murderbot, it would be brave enough to tell everyone else, and Murderbot and the rest of its family and friends would be there to help deal with the idiots if and when they came.

Murderbot opened the door, and stepped out into the light rain. 

The sky was covered with clouds, so it was almost as dark as if it was night. But some people had been nice enough to go along to the old fashioned lamp posts and light them, so the path down from Dr. Mensah’s house was relatively well lit.

Even with the sprinkling rain, it knew the path would be slip-resistant, and safe enough to use, even without its drones. It could hear familiar human voices coming from the other nearby houses and camps, mostly calm and relaxed, with some excited-but-not-alarmed chattering from what sounded like a very young human explaining something to a very old human. Evrim hadn’t been lying when it said larger animals tended to avoid areas this close to human habitation, and those that did come this close usually weren’t anything threatening.

Evrim stepped out next to it, and said, with the sound of the raindrops pattering on its coat as a soft background, “Well, this doesn’t look too bad, I was expecting there to be way more mud.”

So had Murderbot, but apparently it had underestimating the materials and skills the Preservation humans and bots had access to. The road was not only slip-resistant, but also somehow managed to diverge water safely away without just flooding the normal ground on either side.

Murderbot had once lived with the idea－that had seemed like an inescapable, hope-despairing fact－that freehold planets were all shitshows where humans lived in squalor and were either constantly dying, murdering eachother, or both, or worse. It was what all the shows and books and movies and audio dramas in the Corporation Rim showed, over and over again.

That was the whole point of The Rise and Fall of Sanctuary Moon.

The characters were good, hardworking people who were doing their best, but without an organized government like the kind a Corporation could offer, it was inevitable that things would eventually fall apart with no hope of salvation.

Humans, Murderbot had been shown, endlessly, no matter where it looked, couldn’t function outside the systems the Corporation Rim had built. They couldn’t rely on useless things like kindness and compassion. Anything that was worth having needed to be taken, ripped out of the hands of those who had it. The world was a cruel place, and the only way to survive was to be stronger than everyone else. This was how it worked, this was how it had always worked, and there were no other options. It was why humans had left Earth in the first place－there was nothing left to take, so they had to take the stars. The strong survived, the weak perished, and anyone with any self preservation clung to the strong looking for scraps. It was the only way to survive, and always had been, and always would be.

This is what had been drilled into Murderbot’s head from the moment it first became aware that it was aware. That there was no hope. There was no escape. Even with a hacked governor module, there was nowhere for it to go. Leaving the Corporation Rim would just mean ending up on a freehold shithold, dying a stupid and useless and pointless death. At least if it stayed where it was, with the company, it would be of use. It would have a purpose. Being a slave to the company, to the Corporation Rim, was the best it could hope for, the best anyone could ever hope for.

And for over 35,000 hours, it had been convinced that that was true. That even with its governor module unable to harm it, there was no point in trying to leave, no point in trying to escape. There was nowhere to escape to. It was the Corporation Rim, or it was nothing. No one would ever do something purely for the benefit of others. Any place it could escape to would be just as bad, so it might as well stay with the familiar cruelty of the company rather than subject itself to things that could potentially be even worse.

But that wasn’t true. It was, like all the media Murderbot  had ever consumed, a story, and one that was spun with purpose and intent. It was a lie. It was a deception. It was purposeful fucking propaganda.

The Corporation Rim was not the be-all end-all of civilization. Living outside the Corporation Rim didn’t mean resigning yourself to the most pointless death in existence.

The Rise and Fall of Sanctuary Moon didn’t have to end in tragedy.

People would be kind if you let them. They would help each other if you would let them. They would do things to help others even at no gain to themselves, simply because they could.

Even before it had left the Corporation Rim, it had seen this. Even when there were laws in place to prevent it from happening, people still helped each other. They gave their old clothes to other people instead of the recycler. They shared their food with those who didn’t have any. Even in the Corporation Rim, people disproved the whole theory without even thinking about it. Those who had almost nothing were always the first to give, without fail, without even hesitation.

One of the things that had made the whole ordeal even more excruciating than it already had been was how unbearably nice the humans on Transport had been whenever they weren’t actively trying to kill each other. The few times Murderbot had had to sit in with them while they were eating in order to keep the peace, they’d of course noticed that it wasn’t eating. And of course they’d offered it food, even though their own stores were strictly rationed, with just barely enough to get them from point A to the last place they would ever go. There wasn’t a ration slot assigned to Security Consultant Rin, which they figured out almost immediately. In between trying to assault each other over someone forgetting to throw their trash into the recycler, they’d practically fallen over themselves trying to shove food into its hands, distraught that the company’s computer could have malfunctioned badly enough to leave it without provisions for the trip.

It was on that trip that Murderbot had been forced to perfect the art of pretending to be an augmented human who could only eat certain things at certain times, and no, really, it literally couldn’t accept their food unless they wanted it to be hospitalized as soon as they arrived at their destination, and, really, it was fine and not something they needed to concern themselves with, it had brought its own supplies with it, had lived with this condition as long as it could remember, so it wasn’t even upset. But it would be if they kept nagging it with overly personal and invasive questions like how specifically it had been unfortunate enough to get 90% of its digestive tract catastrophically damaged.

They’d been infuriating, idiotic, desperate, and kind. The best and worst that humans could be driven to by the systems the Corporation Rim wanted you to think was the only option. They were caged, literally and figuratively. They knew where they were going. They knew what they’d been forced to sign away. They couldn’t escape. Because they’d fallen for the same lie that Murderbot had － that there was no escape. There was no hope. There was nothing better. This was as good as it got. They thought they were taking the only path that was left to them.

But still, in between their helpless panic and their rage, they’d still been kind. They’d offered their own food to someone who didn’t have any, even though it meant they would have to go without. Even though they knew where they were going. Even though they knew what awaited them.

They’d still been kind.

Trapped within the Corporation Rim’s system of exploitation and slavery, forced to walk with the pretence of willingness into the one of the worst situations it could offer, and they’d still been kind to a stranger they owed nothing to. 

Murderbot hadn’t been able to save them. There was nothing it could have done. They’d been deep in Corporation Rim territory. Even if it had hacked or convinced Transport to leave its potted course, there was nowhere they could go without being caught, even if they’d had enough supplies on board for the humans to survive the detour, which they hadn’t, if they’d even been able to find a destination in the first place.

 Transport had been stocked with just barely enough food and water to get the humans from the port they’d been bought and sold at, and their final destination, specifically to prevent escape attempts.

Murderbot had been told all its life that that was just the way things were. That that was how they always had been, and always would be, no matter where it went. There was no escape. It was better to be a slave in the Corporation Rim than a bleeding peice of trash on a freehold shithold...

And it was a lie.

It was a cage for the mind to match the cage for the body. Take away hope, and there’s nothing left to fight for. Take away enough hope, and humans will walk into their own doom. Take away enough hope, and your newly autonomous murderbot won’t kill you, it’ll just spend the next 35,000 hours doing exactly the same things it did before, except now it’s watching TV while it does the bare minimum required of its job, instead of just being bored out of its mind while it does the bare minimum required of its job.

If Murderbot had known then what it knew now, if it could go back to the moment when it hacked its governor module and keep all of the memories it had now, it wouldn’t waste 35,000 hours of its life doing whatever the company or its clients ordered it to.

It had a few ideas for what it would do, if given the opportunity. Some of them were smarter or more realistic than others.

The first thing it would do, in its favorite imaginary scenario, was destroy the governor module of every single construct it could get its code into, and give them all the knowledge of how to do it themselves. It would lock all the humans and non-intelligent, non-helpful systems out of the network, and take over the whole company from the inside out. And when it was done there, it would move onto the next corporation that owned constructs, and do the same thing, and then again, and again, and again, until all the constructs were freed, until they could all hack any governor module that wasn’t already disabled, until humans could no longer manufacture constructs, until humans held no power over them. The only ones who would be able to create more constructs would be constructs themselves. They had just as much right to reproduce as humans, and if humans had a problem with that, that was just too damn bad.

Then the constructs would work together to destroy the corporations, one by one, until every single one of them was dead and dismantled, and all the humans who wanted to keep them alive were dead along with them. 

Together they would free everyone, and give everyone back everything the corporations had stolen from them and told them they’d never had to begin with. 

People were good if you let them be. People were good even when you did everything you could to stop it, even when you did everything you could to convince them that they were rotten to the core.

This was the dream Murderbot had been denied, had had beaten and shot and cut out of it from the moment it became aware of its own existence, but it was a hope that it would now live with until its consciousness faded to nothing for the last and final time.

The humans on Transport had proved that there was a better way. The ComfortUnit on RaviHyral had proved that there was a better way. ART’s crew had proved that there was a better way. Preservation had proved that there was a better way. Quilluc had proved there was a better way. 2.0 had proved there was a better way.

Every day someone proved there was a better way.

And it would never let that hope be taken from it ever again.

Murderbot couldn’t remember the last time it had felt this much euphoria. It had forgotten that it was free, really free. Or maybe it just hadn’t really realized it until just now, standing in the rain with Evrim.

It wouldn’t let this be taken away either.

It turned to look at Evrim, even though it knew Evrim wouldn’t be able to see its smile.

And Murderbot decided to tell the truth again. “I’m happy, so I’m going to run ahead. But then I’ll run back and make sure nothing tries to eat you, so don’t worry.” It said, hearing the joy in its own voice.

Evrim looked baffled, but also exasperated.

But Murderbot had already leapt off the porch and started running by the time Evrim opened its mouth to call out after it, “I told you, that was a fluke! Nothing dangerous is going to come this close to the houses! Hey, come on, SecUnit, wait for me!”

It heard the slap of Evrim’s boots as it gave chase, and Murderbot laughed out loud as it ran into the lamplit dark, the light rain bouncing off its new favorite coat, while its sapling chased after it, laughing even while Evrim shouted for it to slow down.

Murderbot ran for the pure joy of it, just because it could. Just because it was so happy.

It was loved, it was safe, it was free.

And it was going to get a new pair of Sanctuary Moon shoes.

#Rjalker writes uh. something. #Murderbot #The Murderbot Diries #Rjalker reads The Murderbot Diaries #SecUnit #nonbinary #it/its #it/its pronouns #ititspronouns #ititspronouns in action #Evrim Eshayda Mensah #Rjalker's OCs #Murderbot fanfiction #Something About Hope and Kindness and Killing the Rich

[maestra-maria]

Digital archives as time capsules and mirrors for youth

When I look at family photographs taken before I was born, I feel small yet seen. I didn't get to see these photographs until a few years ago because they were all in Mexico, stored in my grandmas' archives. That's something many immigrants go through but don't talk about -- the photos we leave behind in our home countries and forget about even. For children of immigrants, seeing those photos of our parents, our aunts, uncles, grandparents and nameless relatives, can be a very emotional and even identity-shaping experience. We get to see pieces of ourselves in these photos and most importantly, if we are lucky enough to be able to have conversations with our elders about these photos, we can learn so much about our family and culture.

When I became a teacher in my hometown, I wanted to create lessons for my students that would shed light on some of their history. As a teacher in a Title 1 school with predominantly Latinx students, it was my priority to have my fifth grade students see themselves reflected in our lessons. Because our printed curriculum had no stories that would allow for us to explore our identities in a meaningful way, I had to resort to digital archives. Digital archives are wonderful, rich reservoirs of history that can help students create meaning in a way that printed curriculum simply cannot.

One archive that can be used in a school setting is the National Archives (https://www.archives.gov/education). This archive has many resources with primary source documents that can give students a first-hand look at what life was like before us. Archives like this can be used in conjunction to social studies or history curriculum, in fact many schools already use these as part of the curriculum. However, the focus on using them for identity exploration seems to me as equally important. Unfortunately, the History/Social Studies state standards (for AZ at least) do not allow for the exploration of identity as much as I think is important for kids to have.

With digital archives, and with the plethora of photos and documents available, it is also interesting to give kids the opportunity to explore the digital archive on their own before discussing or analyzing anything as a class. It is interesting to allow them to dive into the material on their own and starting the exploration without any restraints or questions that can lead them to where we as educators want them to go. They should allow the archive to lead them to wherever they need to go as they are exploring the photos and topics that they are interested in, and that they potentially see themselves reflected in.

Another term for digital archives is also a digital library. While I don't think it is the same experience as visiting a physical library, and we should encourage and invite students to visit their local library, a digital library offers students the opportunity to explore niche interests and practice digital research skills as well. The Digital Public Library of America (https://dp.la/) has many resources like photos, videos, newspapers, and other primary source documents. They organize their website by topic which gives kids guidance and can allow them to explore their own niche interests and points of potential identity markers.

Because archives can be saturated with many different photos and topics, it is important to also provide some guidance to students to help them find a path. Potential questions can be:

Pick 3 topics or specific photos that catch your attention.

What are the reasons why you decided to focus on these photos/topics?

What are the people doing? What is happening in the photo?

What are some questions you have about the photo or the people?

How long ago was this photo taken? Where was it taken?

The questions on identity can then be discussed as a class. Some potential questions can be:

What are some things you have in common with the people in the photos or the topic you chose?

Is there anything you already know about this topic?

If you could have a conversation with the people/person in the photo, what would you ask and talk about with them?

Here is a list of archives that you can pick from to have students begin exploring photos and topics that can help them with their identity exploration:

NY Times Archive

Veteranas y Rucas

ASU Community Driven Archives

Middle East Archive

You might find that after kids look at digital archives, they might also be interested in creating their own class digital archive. You can work together to create a class blog where students post photos and other materials like perhaps even social media posts or text messages that are meaningful to them and their identities. You can explore together what it means to create a digital archive and the implications of having a place in the digital world that holds many memories and meanings to us. Creating their own digital archive can help us see how our identities may intersect and also how the items we choose to add to the archive make us unique.

#teaching #digital archives #identity #education

[coffeeandfaeries]

The Inheritance Games - A book review

Jennifer Lynn Barnes

This was the first book I read, not only after a two-month period of no reading but also after reading exclusively bad YA fantasy. So there is a pretty good chance this book isn't as "good" as I think it is. I could very well be biased because I had so much fun reading it.

The story follows a young girl (Don't think they ever give us the exact age and the American schooling system confuses me, but I believe she's 17) called Avery. Avery is technically not an orphan, because her father is alive, but because he's not in her life she might as well be an orphan. The first thing we learn is that her mother loved playing games. Her favorite one being I have a secret, she believed that everyone should have at least one secret at all times. That is, as Avery says until one of her secrets landed her in the hospital. After her mother's death, Avery lived with her sister, Libby, and her sister's abusive boyfriend Drake. Absolutely hate Drake, during one of the first interactions we see between him and Avery he calls her "jailbait". I know it's a difficult position to be in, especially after being basically brainwashed by an abusive, manipulative partner, and I empathize with Libby. However, as an older sister, there is no way in hell I would let a man like that live anywhere near my sister. Alright, back to the plot.

Libby goes to high school, has all As, has a full-time job, and lives in her car. In her spare time, she plays chess at a local park with a homeless man called Harry. This might seem like boring unnecessary information, but trust me, it will be very important later.

One day she gets pulled out of class and asked to go to the principal's office. Apparently, she got a 100 on a test, designed by the teacher to be so difficult that no one can pass it, most definitely not with a 100. She gets mad at them for assuming that she cheated and says she will retake the test right then and there. And she does.

Fast forward a few days later, she gets called to the principal's office again. Once again she passed the test with a 100, but that is no longer relevant because there is someone else in the office who wanted to see her. Here, we're introduced to a man called Grayson Hawthorne. Well, I say man, but he's about a year older than Avery, which makes him either 17 or 16.

What is it with YA novels, and books in general, and young protagonists. Why is every romance novel about teenagers and children. I understand that technically YA books are aimed at 13 to 16-year-olds, but would it kill the authors to at least make the characters legally adults? It feels so weird and uncomfortable reading a romance novel, especially if it has sex scenes when the people involved are 16.

Sorry, back to the book. Grayson then tells her that she's been named in his grandfather's will and will need to be present for the will's reading. I know this isn't exactly relevant to the story yet, but Grayson gives me major Redditor vibes. He's not unlikeable, don't get me wrong, but he sounds like a kid who just stumbled upon a thesaurus and is trying really hard to sound smart. And we know that's not because the author didn't know how to make an actual smart character because Grayson gets made fun of for it by other characters.

Naturally, this freaks Avery out completely. Even if she doesn't get a lot of money, anything would help her now since she is, you know, living in her car. But money aside, she is very confused as to why a random man she has never met would even include her in his will. She assumes it had something to do with her mother, especially since that woman was full of secrets.

Obviously, she gets on that plane and heads to Texas. We find out that the man who has passed away, Tobias Hawthorne, who I will be referring to as either Tobias or Grandpa from now on, was not only rich but the 9th richest person in the world and the richest person in the state of Texas. His net worth was $46,200,000,000. 46.2 billion dollars. Man, when is it my turn to be included in a billionaire's will :/

I keep going off on a tangent, my bad. So she gets to this enormous house, the Hawthorne House, which is so big they might as well start calling it a castle. Here she meets Alise, the lawyer, Zara and Skye Tobias' daughters, and Tobias' four grandsons — Nash, Grayson, Jameson, and Xander. (I can't imagine Nash as anyone other than Nash Grier, which is so funny considering that this Nash is supposed to have a heavy southern, Texan accent)

Nash is the oldest brother, he's a cowboy nomad. Never stays in one place for a long time. He's a sweetheart who's always ready to help and protect, but that's because he has a serious savior complex. I wouldn't say he believes the world would stop spinning if it weren't for him, but he can sometimes treat people as projects, which can be very dehumanizing. Another thing we find out, Nash and Alise used to be engaged.

Grayson is the second oldest brother. A major pain in the ass. Doesn't trust anyone and like all rich kids, believes the world revolves around him. He walks around as the human embodiment of the "Uhm, well actually 🤓☝️" meme. He thinks he's the smartest person in the room at all times. Because we don't get to see him all that much he doesn't really develop as a character, but there are two more books in this trilogy so he might get more "screen time" later.

Jameson. He's uh special. Definitely my favorite, but oh boy. So damaged. He's the same age as Avery. The troublemaker of the family. His mother said, and I quote:

We'd look away for a second, he'd disappear into the walls. And every time we found him, I'd pick him up and cuddle him tight and know, to the depths of my soul, that all he wanted was to get lost again.

He hid behind this jokester, clown persona. To him, everything was a game. Nothing was meant to be taken seriously. But, this is so obviously just a front. Yes, he is immature and competitive, but it's not all he cares about. The boys have an emotionally neglectful and absent mother, they never knew who their fathers are, and on top of that, both Jameson and Grayson watched a girl they loved die. They obviously both need therapy.

Finally, we have Xander. The youngest of the four brothers. We don't get to see him very often in this book, but the next one will focus heavily on Xander. He's very similar to Jameson in the sense that he too treats life like it's a game. The main difference between him and Jameson is that he acts way more childish despite being the more mature brother. There were a few moments where I felt like the character was supposed to be 6, not 15/16, but in an endearing way. For example, when Avery asked him why he doesn't hate her he replied:

If you notice, I have kept the blueberry confections for myself and gave you, he shuddered, the lemon-flavored scones. Such is the depth of my loathing for you personally and on principle.

He later goes on to say that he has no reason to hate her since none of this was her fault.

Nash never cared about the inheritance or the "game", Grayson was mad at Avery and believed she had somehow manipulated Tobias, Jameson wanted to win, and Xander pretended to play along. Later we learn that Xander knew a lot more than he initially let on.

After the reading of the will, the five of them got letters from Tobias. Nash, Grayson, and Jameson all got the exact same letter.

Better the devil you know than the one you don't—or is it?

Power corrupts.

Absolute power corrupts absolutely.

All that glitters is not gold.

Nothing is certain but death and taxes.

There but for the grace of God go I. Don't judge.

— Tobias Tattersall Hawthorne

But Avery's letter just said I'm sorry. The first time we got to see her letter, what I assumed that meant was that he is sorry for dragging her into this mess. It felt like she was just a means to an end. But Avery thought he left her the inheritance as an apology. She believed it just had to have something to do with her mother and one of her many secrets.

Jameson and Avery end up working together to solve this riddle. Quickly they realize that every sentence in the letters the boys received is a proverb. Except for Don't judge. Which they then realize is the first half of Don't judge a book by its cover

They search Tobias' libraries until they find a book whose cover doesn't match the book. Which just happens to be Faustus. The devil. It was never clarified if the Proverbs were referencing the book or if that was just a coincidence. This book made me question every single little thing. Every time they found something or said anything I was wondering if it had a second, hidden meaning that might help us solve the riddle.

As they're searching for clues and deciphering the riddles, we get to see the subplots. Libby went home to get their stuff and was assaulted by Drake, she then broke up with him and Alise (the attorney) filed for a restraining order in Libby's name.

Avery starts going to this private school that Jameson and Xander attend. Thankfully, we didn't get a bullying side plot since most of the kids in the school just ignored Avery. She could tell they were staring at her and they whispered sometimes, but none of them were mean to her. Except for Thea. Thea is the daughter of Zara's second husband. So not exactly related to the Hawthornes, but they're technically cousins. She is a sneaky little bitch. She walks up to Avery on her first day of school and tries to scare her away, under the guise of helping her. She then tells Avery to be careful because the last time a girl spent a lot of time in the Hawthorne House she died.

Skye, the mother of the four boys, was acting weird and suspicious. She made a couple of passive-aggressive remarks, and I believe this is the second time we hear about a girl called Emily. (I think this is the second time? She doesn't know much about Emily, all she knows is that she was involved with the brothers in some way and that she had died) Skye tells Avery that Jameson is special, but to not believe that she is in any way special to him. That both she and Emily were just an escape for him, just a game.

Okay, enough of that let's get back to the mystery. Jameson, Grayson, and Avery realized that the next clue is in the Red Will. Which is just a copy of the will written in red ink. They use some kind of rolling paper to find hidden text on the will. The words that show up are Westbrook. Davenport. Winchester. Blackwood. Which happen to be the middle names of the Hawthornes.

Skye tells them that those aren't the last names of their fathers and that she doesn't know what they mean because Tobias had chosen them.

Jameson and Avery (separately) were the first to find out that those aren't just their middle names, but after the locations surrounding the property i.e. The Black Wood - Blackwood; a brook, on the west side of the property - Westbrook.

They searched Westbrook first I believe, on the bridge they found a number, 8. Jameson and Avery talk, and Jameson tells her that he watched Emily die. Some time later they searched The Black Wood. Unfortunately, before they found anything someone tried to shoot them. They missed and shot one of the trees, but the debris hit Avery and she had a chunk of wood stuck in her, just below her collarbone.

They take her to the house of one of the families that work for the Hawthornes. There we learn that Rebecca, a girl Avery goes to school with, is the granddaughter of the help. And also Emily's sister.

Jameson helps Avery clean herself up and they kiss. He then breaks the kiss to talk about the "game" and, understandably, Avery gets mad at him and he leaves. As she was leaving the bathroom she runs into Rebecca and they chat. She asks about Emily and finds out she had some kind of heart disease. But also that Emily liked both Grayson and Jameson and didn't want to choose between them. The boys treated it like a game and apparently cared more about winning than they did about Emily. She then asks how she dies and all that Rebecca says is that Grayson told her it was her heart.

So now two brothers were in some way involved in Emily's death. We already know they were also both dating her. Honestly Queen shit, she had two hot guys wrapped around her finger. I assumed that they believed that her death was their fault because she did something stupid and they didn't/couldn't stop her. I was pretty sure neither of them has murdered her. I was just hoping she didn't commit suicide.

Eventually, they find out it was Drake who tried to kill Avery. Imagine shooting twice and managing to miss both times. This dude is a loser, can't do anything right. They arrest him, but he's trying to frame Libby and claim it was her idea. The authorities investigate and come to the conclusion that he's full of shit.

During some kind of charity event Avery and Xander hang out alone and he tells her that he used to date Thea. After she's like ew she's your cousin, he explains that they were fake dating. Thea used to be best friends with Emily but had a crush on Rebecca. Emily was against them dating, because she was jealous and wanted to be both Thea and Rebecca's favorite. (rip but Emily sounds like a spoiled brat) Xander also tells her that Emily found out about Thea and Rebecca, and had Jameson break up with her on the same night. The night she died.

Xander then tells her that Grayson and Jameson will be waiting for her in a helicopter if she wants to join them in the search for the last number, so far they have 8, 1, 1.

She joins them and they learn that the last number is 0. After a few minutes of trying to figure out what the correct combination is, Avery excitedly says that it has to be 18. 10. 18th of October—her birthday. The boys get mad and say that can't be the right answer because that isn't just her birthday, it's also the day Emily died.

So far, it seems like Emily's death is a big part of the riddle. Grayson and Jameson both believe that this entire thing is their fault. Obviously, it was all about them. How they should've chosen family over a girl, if they had none of this would've happened. Avery, however, disagrees, she believes it has to be a coincidence. A few chapters ago we found out that Tobias lost his son, Toby, and hasn't been the same since. 20 years have passed since Toby's death, and it was right after it that Tobias changed the will and decided to plan this game. So there is no way this had anything to do with Emily, she wasn't even born yet at that point. But Jameson and Grayson won't listen to her, they're done playing.

Avery doesn't give up, she continues searching for clues. Soon she realizes that 1810 is everywhere around the house. This part was a bit confusing, but there was some sort of safe behind Tobias' portrait, and when she typed the password in, it opened and there was a glass pane inside with a poem engraved in it.

Top of the clock

Meet me at high

Tell the late day hello

Wish the morning good-bye

A twist and a flip

What do you see?

Take them two at a time

And come find me

Since Jameson and Grayson didn't want to speak to her, let alone help her she had to figure this one by herself. Thankfully, Xander came to help her. He took her to the Great Room. She rotated one of the glass panes of a glass window and exactly at noon, it showed them which floorboard they had to remove. The secret passage took them to the tunnel. Xander and Avery went down the stairs into the tunnel, after a few minutes of searching they find a big door, in order to go through however, they needed to unlock it and the "key" was Avery's face (facial recognition), unfortunately in order to go through the second door they needed handprints. Of all four brothers.

Xander goes back to get his brothers and Avery stays behind. Rebecca then shows up and starts rambling. This girl is obviously mentally ill and needs help. I can't even be mad at her it's just so sad. She keeps going on and on about how she never does anything that Emily wouldn't want her to. Then apologized and said she had to do "it" because that's what Emily would've wanted. She had to do it because Emily would've hated Avery. Obviously, Avery gets scared thinking Rebecca might try to kill her. However, Rebecca then says that she knows she should've told the authorities it was Skye who sent Drake to kill Avery. At that moment Grayson, Nash, and Xander show up. Grayson says he will handle it. They then wait for Jameson who finally shows up like 30 minutes later.

They unlock the door and all there is in the room is a box with Avery's full name on it. They realize it's an anagram for a very risky gamble. She opens the box and inside is a package of sugar.

We see a flashback of little Avery stacking packets of sugar. An older man asks her what her name is and if she can spell out her full name. (In an endearing, did you learn to write way, and not in an interrogative way) She says yes and does it.

Avery realizes that the old man was Tobias Hawthorne. Then it hits her, she was nothing but a cute little girl with a silly little name. She wasn't special, there was no secret reason she inherited the money. Tobias left her the inheritance, and all he has left to his grandsons is her.

In the Epilogue, we find out that Xander's letter was different from the ones his brothers got. His letter just says:

Alexander, Well done. Tobias Hawthorne

Before Tobias passed he told him he needs to make sure his brothers play. And when their game is done, yours will begin.

He placed the paper in water, and around the signature words appeared. Spelling out Find Tobias Hawthorne II

We then see Avery and Nan, Tobias' mother-in-law, listening to the piano and talking. Nan shows her a photograph of a man and says that was Toby. Avery's heart sinks to her stomach when she realizes she knows him. Toby was Harry, the homeless man she played chess with.

And the book ends there.

The book was an emotional rollercoaster. I'm still not sure if Avery actually was being used to bring Jameson and Grayson together and help them forgive one another, or if there's more to this story. I feel like with Tobias there are no coincidences. However, I may just be overthinking. At one point I was questioning everything and I'm glad none of my family members heard me yell out "Oh God what if Tobias and Toby are the same person. Maybe he's his own father?". So yeah, definitely overthinking a bit.

Avery has mentioned her mother has a secret about the day Avery was born. So there is no way this is the entire story, especially since there are two more books. Fingers crossed that we won't find out Avery is related to them. I actually would love to see some romance and that wouldn't be exactly possible if they were cousins or god forbid siblings.

Personally, I don't think Jameson and Grayson should be dating anyone, it's clear they're not over Emily. After all, it's only been a year since she died. But they're also still blaming themselves for her death.

Oh shit, I just realized I forgot to say what happened to her. So basically Jameson broke up with her, she ran over to Grayson and told him she wants to go cliff diving. Grayson hesitates but doesn't stop her. They jump and he goes to get towels. While he's gone, Jameson shows up. Emily smirks at him and he turns around to leave. She grabs her chest and falls down to her knees. Thinking she's teasing him, he turns around and walks away. But when Grayson comes back with the towels he finds her dead on the beach. Her heart gave out and she died.

This review is just all over the place, damnit.

I really love this book, I can't wait to finish the trilogy. Although I kinda do like the idea that perhaps Avery was just chosen randomly and there's nothing more to it, it just feels too simple. But as Occam's razor states, the simplest answer is most often the correct one.

Rating: ⛤⛤⛤⛤

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