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#i don't know for a fact that i would have a bad time as a subsistence farmer but. well. let's be real.
miharuki · 1 day
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𝖄𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖊𝖗𝖊 𝖁𝖎𝖑𝖑𝖆𝖎𝖓 𝕻𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖈𝖊 𝖃 𝕽𝖊𝖆𝖉𝖊𝖗 (𝕱𝖊𝖒) 2
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You woke up with a headache, feeling your head throb painfully. For a moment, you really thought you were in your real-life home until you looked up and saw the bed canopy, adorned with fine, luxurious fabrics. A typical bed of ancient nobility, you couldn't even sit up without your head pounding from the pain. Who would have thought that crying so much could make you feel this bad?
In pain, you turned, now looking out of the bed. For a moment, you began to notice that the furnishings in the room were more refined, even though they were of a different color. You started to think that this room wasn't, in fact, yours. Looking at the door, you noticed the luxurious details that accompanied it, making you realize that you were neither in your real-life bedroom nor in your noble bedroom in this world.
You started to think a lot, which made your head hurt even more. But you finally managed to understand what happened last night and how you agreed to go with the young man. Now, finally turning to look at the ceiling, you sighed, knowing you were probably not in extreme danger and that being kidnapped was off the list since you had agreed to the situation.
Placing your hands on your face, you thought about the situation at the ball, now considering how your family in this world would probably disown you. What initially seemed like a simple matter turned out to be much worse. In this world, being disowned didn't just mean being removed from the family's inheritance; it meant being officially regarded as not part of the family at all. It was as if they erased you not only from their will but also from their lives. In more extreme cases, it could even mean being expelled from the house.
"Are you alright? You were quite warm last night; you had a fever," said a familiar voice. Turning, you confirmed it was the same young man from yesterday.
Forcing your aching body, you managed to sit up in bed, placing a hand on your forehead as the dizziness from the headache set in. "Yes, it's nothing serious. I apologize for my manners," you said. It was evident that simply lying in a bed that wasn't yours while the host stood by was considered almost impolite in this world.
"Liar… please, miss, don't push yourself too hard. You still seem unwell," the young man said, his voice calm and concerned. If you could look now, you would see the care and worry in his eyes.
"I've been sick many times before," you found yourself thinking, almost mocking your own situation. The boy seemed to sense your sadness and silence. He raised his hand and gently placed it on your shoulder.
He had already felt he was violating your space by touching you the night before, but the pain of seeing your sick body had pushed that feeling aside. Now, with you safe, he felt he needed your permission, but he couldn't help trying to comfort you, the same person who seemed broken and exhausted when he brought you here.
"Forgive me… you went to the trouble of bringing me to your home because of my actions. This is not appropriate behavior for a girl like me. I apologize profusely for invading your residence like this," you said, lowering your hands to your lap and bowing your head in a formal gesture of apology, even while lying in bed.
Nomura noticed that you referred to yourself merely as a girl, not as a lady, which would have been more appropriate. He understood that what happened yesterday had deeply wounded you, so much so that you began to see yourself as inferior, no longer worthy of being called a lady.
His free hand clenched into a fist as he thought about the castle and the ball from last night. He knew who was responsible for this, and he couldn't help but feel anger. At that moment, all he wanted was to drive a sword through the heart of the crown prince, the first prince, and especially his former best friend.
"Please do not apologize, miss. The events of last night were not your fault, and bringing you to my residence was my decision. I had every right to do so, especially when I saw you in such a vulnerable state," he said in a sweet and gentle tone. You turned your head to look at him, observing those kind eyes that looked at you as they had last night. But just making that movement caused your head to throb again, and you placed a hand on your head, wincing in pain. This made him place his hands on your back, gently guiding you to lie down on the bed.
"Please, miss, you are not in the best condition. Lie down and rest. I will accept nothing but your rest," he insisted. With your eyes squeezed shut from the pain, you allowed yourself to lie back down, sighing as you felt his touch slowly fade away.
Nomura watched as you complied, stepping back slowly. He looked at you with sadness before leaving the room. As he walked down the corridor towards his office, he couldn't help but look at the floor, feeling nothing but anger. Calmly, he entered his office and closed the door behind him. His teeth clenched in fury, and only one thought filled his mind: "I want to kill him!" Finally, he sighed, running his hands through his hair before sitting in his chair and looking up at the ceiling.
"Even after countless times, or timelines, you remain the same Prince Luka."
"Miss? Your tea." An maid entered the room with a cart carrying a teapot and a white porcelain cup. She sat down on the bed, and you were beginning to feel a bit better. Before you could say anything, the maid delicately placed a tray on your lap and set the cup on it.
You pondered for a moment. You couldn't stay here forever, even if your parents had disowned you. Eventually, you would have to return home just to gather your belongings, assuming your country in this game had indeed expelled you. If so, you needed to plan where to stay, especially since the Diamond Wars were looming.
"But what stage of the game are we in now? I mean, why should I worry? She's the protagonist and a princess, not me. She can handle things on her own," you thought to yourself as you glanced down at your lap. Your head still ached, but it was less intense compared to when you first arrived at the lord's house.
"Miss?" the maid's voice called out, and you lifted your head to look at her. She was pointing to the cup of tea. "Your tea, if you don't drink it, it will get cold." You turned your head, picked up the cup, and murmured a thank you before taking a sip. Lowering the cup, you continued to stare down, then glanced back at your lap.
"If I may ask, do you know of a good area where there might be houses? Preferably in the countryside," you asked calmly, surprising the maid with the sudden question.
"With all due respect, ma'am, why do you ask?"
"I need to find a place before I'm kicked out of home all because the protagonist is a little princess with her harem on her side, not to mention they humiliated me and literally labeled me a liar in front of high-status people and people from other regions," you thought of saying, but bit your tongue and shook your head. "Forget about what I asked," you said, looking down at the empty cup in your hands.
A few minutes of silence passed before the maid carefully took the cup and bowed respectfully before leaving with the cart.
"It's what she said," the maid recounted the situation to the man in front of her, who could only look thoughtfully out the window. "Poor Lady," Nomura thought, watching from the window as the carriage took you back to your home.
"I apologize, my lord, but do you think Lady might be considering moving away?" The thought of you being away from him was making him nervous.
"I need you to deliver a letter for me…"
pt1
"I'll possibly do Part 3."
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@julietdelamare @snowlotr @kitkatmochi @happydeertraveler @lem-hhn @crazytacokoala @mitzukichan18 @hey-im-bored504 @resident-cryptid @thefbiiswatching @beardedblizzardexpert @mymemd @smilefortae @emperatris-rinaka
@pinkrose1422
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woso-dreamzzz · 3 days
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Shots III
Magdalena Eriksson x Child!Reader
Fridolina Rolfö x Child!Reader
Part of The Big Adventures Universe
Summary: You need a flu shot
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"So they just jab it in?" Frido asks over dinner, mouth open and eyes wide.
"Yeah," Magda says, nodding furiously," Needle out and just jabbed in." She demonstrates with her hand. "It's the worst. It hurts her super bad."
"That's awful. You'd think they'd find a pain-free version to deliver vaccines. But she's all caught up, right?"
Magda shakes her head. "I forgot to take her to get her flu shot before we left Germany. Pernille's so mad at me."
"But we're only in camp, right? There's no way she's going to sick. I mean-"
Frido's cut off by a loud sneeze from Filippa followed by a brutal round of coughing.
"Pernille's going to kill you."
Magda groans, burying her head in her hands. "I've arranged with the team doctors to give Princesse her shot here."
"But..." Frido frowns. "She won't like it here anymore if we make her get shots!"
"I think that's Pernille's plan," Magda replies," If we give Princesse shots here then she'll stop wanting to come. It's genius."
"It's rude."
"Still genius though."
Frido sighs loudly, shaking her head. "I can't believe you put us in this position, Magda! Why couldn't you have just taken her to get her shot in Germany?"
"It slipped my mind!"
"Well now she's going to slip away from Sweden!" Frido continues," We can't let her start going back to Denmark! She'll want to play for their team soon enough! We can't lose her!"
"I know!" Magda replies," But I also don't want to lose Princesse privileges and that will definitely happen if we don't take her to get her shot."
"This is awful," Frido bemoans," I can't believe it's come to this."
Zećira, who had been silent through the entire conversation, sighs. "You're so dramatic."
Dramatic or not, Magda is forced to take you to get your flu shot. Pernille might actually kill her if she doesn't and Frido tags along for the ride, supposedly to remind you of all the great things Sweden has that Denmark hasn't like IKEA and Zećira.
"I know Zećira is here," You tell Frido as Magda leads you into the doctor's office," She's always here."
"I know," Frido says," But just remember how much you like being taught by Zećira."
"I know that!" You say, cheeks puffed out in annoyance," You're being weird!"
Before Frido can defend herself though, Magda hauls you up onto the little bed set up in the room.
"So," The nice doctor man says," Just a flu shot, is that right?"
"That's right."
"Morsa forgot to take me when we were in Germany," You tell him, much to Magda's embarrassment," Momma yelled at her for ages and ages and ages and ages-"
"She's never had a reaction to them before?" The doctor asks Magda.
"-And ages and ages and ages-"
"No reactions," Magda confirms, feeling a sense of nausea creeping in," She's always been fine with them."
"-And ages and ages!" You finish," And Morsa had to sleep on the sofa and I took her space in the Big Bed!"
The nice doctor man smiles at you. "That sounds cool." He wheels himself closer. "Can you open your mouth for me, please?"
You do as you're told and he inspects your throat before moving his hands to check your neck hasn't swelled up. He checks your temperature too and whatever he finds satisfies him because he wheels away to get the medicine Morsa said you were getting given today.
Frido has to hold her breath. it's been a long time since she's had to have any shots herself. She's forgotten what they look like.
Tears already start building in her eyes as the doctor brings out the syringe, uncapping the top.
It doesn't look sharp. In fact it doesn't look like any needle Frido's ever seen before and that makes it so much worse.
It doesn't look like it would easily go into skin so it's definitely going to hurt you a lot.
She sucks in a ragged gasp for air before holding her breath again.
"Have you ever had this done before?" The nice doctor man asks and you nod your head.
"Momma took me last year!"
"And did it look like this?"
You study it for a moment. "Uh-huh."
"Well, it looks like you're a pro. You ready?"
"Yes."
To Frido and Magda's horror, he positions the syringe in your nose, releasing the vaccine quickly before turning to do the same with your other nostril.
"I...I think I feel sick," Frido says, clutching her tummy.
She doesn't know why you're not crying. It must have hurt much more to have the needle jabbed into your nose twice.
She had no idea doctors were working out ways to make kids hate having shots even more.
"All done!" The doctor says," Would you like a sticker?"
"Yes, please!"
You choose a sticker with a kitten on it, slamming it straight onto your shirt before jumping down from the bed.
Frido and Magda are still clutching each other, traumatised from what they've just witnessed.
You frown. "You're both being weird. It was just a spray."
Magda freezes. "Huh?"
"I makes my nose all tingly but I'm fine!" You give them both a beaming smile.
"A spray?"
"Yes," The doctor says," We've started to move away from giving young children actually injections to help against flu. The nasal spray is much more effective...and painless."
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sanaexus · 3 days
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social's as reo's girlfriend
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-liked by nagi.seishiro, kuniisuke and 198.3k others
yourusername: he loves me (trust)
tagged: reo.miikage
isaichii: is he hiding his face bc he's ashamed or bc he's ashamed? ↳yourusername: COME ON I'M NOT THAT BAD 🙁🙁 ↳isaichii: the last time we went out to a fancy place you said deez nuts to the waiter who asked for your order ↳rin.itoshi: she dressed up as cinderella to take out the trash ↳yourusername: THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SECRET?? ↳reo.miikage: i love you but what the fuck? ↳yourusername: you don't get to say that when you threw a hissy fit over nagi choosing isagi ↳reo.miikage: betrayal often comes from the ones you least expect it from
user1: did he pay you to take that picture ↳yourusername: no ↳user1: know your worth girly ↳reo.miikage: you'll never beat the gold digger allegations this way ↳yourusername: what if they aren't allegations and actually true ↳reo.miikage: what ↳reo.miikage: Y/N WDYM ↳reo.miikage: OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR WDYM BY THAT
nagi.seishiro: without me? ↳yourusername: lil man you better stafu bfr i hurt your balls bc he's with you 24/7 ↳user2: lil man ain't he like 6'0 ↳user3: sometimes lil man do be a 6'0 giant oversized mop of white hair ↳yourusername: he legit pats your hair like a cat, carries you around, pays for all your shi, kicks balls w you tf you want let me have him for sometime ↳nagi.seishiro: choki misses him ↳reo.miikage: im omw dw ↳yourusername: step out of that fucking door and i'll make sure both of you end up like kaiser ↳mikka.kaiser: UN FUCKING CALLED FOR THE FUCK DID I DO ↳yourusername: idk im js a girl ↳alexis.ness: don't feel safe no more not until i'm around ↳yourusername: i like being kidnapped /hj ↳reo.miikage: wtf
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-liked by isaichii, megubachi and 187.2k others
yourusername: i've only had mr.teigo for a day and a half but if anything happened to him i would kill everyone in this room and then myself
tagged: reo.miikage
chigi.who: who the fuck is mr.teigo ↳yourusername: SHUR UP GIVR HIM RECPEST YOU FOOL ↳yourusername: hes the purple ballon btw ↳sae_itoshi: shut* give* rsepect* ↳shiidoryu: YOU GOT IT WRONG TO LMFAO ↳itoshi_sae: it was fucking autocorrect ↳shiidoryu: you can be "it" i can be "autocorrect" that way you can fuck me 😊😊 ↳itoshi_sae: and they say romance is dead ↳chigi.who: are we gonna ignore the fact Y/N WOULD COMMIT MURDER FOR A FUCKING BALLOON??? ↳reo.miikage: pretty tame if you ask me ↳nagi.seishiro: it's normal ↳rin.itoshi: surprised she hasn't already ↳isaichii: v v normal ↳megubachi: my monster likes him ↳julian.loki: being honest so would i he's so cute 🎀 ↳yourusername: hOW DARE YOU TWO ASSUME IT'S GENDER !!! THEY SHOULD BE ABLE TO DECIDE FOR THEMSELEVES APOLOGIZE TO MR.TEIGO ↳kuniisuke: YOU CALL HIM "MR" INDICATING HE'S A MALE FUCKING DUMBASS ↳yourusuername: my balloon my rules
megubachi: i'd let mr.teigo braid my hair and then we skip to the near by garden where we swing tgt ↳yourusername: YES OMG YES !!!! ↳reo.miikage: no ↳yourusername: go be 👬 w nagi or something
user3: why do you look so 😾😾 in the first picture ↳yourusername: i pointed at a fish and said "aww look it's so cute" and without any hesitation he's like "yeah reminds me of nagi" ↳nagi.seishiro: L ↳yourusername: i'll beat your ass in fnaf come fight me lil boy ↳nagi.seishiro: i'm betting choki on it ↳oliver.aiku: GASP!11!!1!11 HE'S BETTING CHOKI?? Y/N'S GETTING COOKED ↳yourusername: like how isagi absolutely cooks you<3 ↳eita.otoya: foul? yes. do i want you to keep going? yes
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-liked by chigi.who, karasu_tabito and 201.3k others
yourusername: it isn't reo without nagi
tagged: reo.miikage, nagi.seishiro
user4: the third picture LMFAO ↳yourusername: when reo realized his soccer (life) partner got stolen by some puzzle solver ↳mikka.kaiser: IT'S FUCKING FOOTBALL WE'VE GONE OVER THIS ↳hiyori: suck my dick ↳yourusername: ask ness to do that he does it to kaiser all the time, his head is prolly better ↳alexis.ness: no what the fucj ↳yourusername: 🎀👬
nikkoki: damn shawty you seem good at biting lips how ab biting mine @/reo.miikage ↳yourusername: take nagi instead pls
reo.miikage: who the fuck and I MEAN WHO THE FUCK EDITED THAT LAST PICTURE ↳yourusername: it suits you ↳reo.miikage: does not ↳chigi.who: you were plucking out the hairy part of your tooth brush to see if nagi would choose you ↳hiyori: HAIRY PART LMFAO WHAT ↳rin.itoshi: you mean bristles? ↳karasu_tabito: there's a name for that shi? ↳kenyu.yukimiya: no shit?? you don't js call it "the hairy shit on your tooth brush" ↳karasu_tabito: ... ↳eita.otoya: ... ↳kenyu.yukimiya: PLEASE DON'T TELL ME YOU THOUGHT THAT'S WHAT IT WAS CALLED
isaichii: wait if you two were kissing and nagi was playing video games then who the fuck took that picture? ↳yourusername: idk someone randomly dms it to me on instagram and i'm like yeah this is useful ↳reo.miikage: WHAT ↳isaichii: someone sent bro a picture of her and her bf kissing and she's like "yeah thanks" ↳yourusername: how else was i supposed to get pictorial evidence of nagi always being there ↳reo.miikage: that's js lies ↳yourusername: LOOK AT THE FUCKING PICTURE MATE
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i'm so sorry this took so long and it's so mid?? but i had no motivation and i js had to post something so
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schizopositivity · 1 day
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My partner just showed me the strangest video that came up on their tiktok. The video was of a woman that said something along the lines of "Did you know all schizophrenic people smell bad? They just have a bad odor that is always present. Even if they shower, and use deodorant, they just smell bad constantly for their whole life."
And that video was stitched by some guy wearing scrubs who said something like "actually this is true, here is one article from the 70's of a psychiatrist who had noticed that a lot of his schizophrenic patients smelled bad". So, someone posing as a medical care worker saying this is true, but his only evidence is that one psychiatrist said this once. No trials, no real evidence, not even an attempt at an explanation on why they think every schizophrenic person just smells bad all the time.
But the most absurd part about this is that there wasn't a single comment disagreeing or asking for proof of this supposed phenomenon. It was just full of people saying "I knew a schizophrenic person and they always smelled bad!" or "I've noticed this too! They always just smell awful!"
There's so many things wrong with this. First off, they are being vague as hell, "smell bad" could mean many different types of smell, and can be caused by so many different things. Second, like I said, absolutely no proof at all, but they say it as if it is an undisputed fact. People are so quick to bully people with schizophrenia, that they don't even check that this is legit, or even sensical. Third, how do they think this would be true? You could argue that schizophrenic people are more likely to be homeless and not have access to showers or hygiene products. You could argue that schizophrenic people could be mentally ill to the point where they neglect their hygiene for long periods of time. But the first speaker went out of her way to clarify that the bad smell is there even after showering and deodorant. So do they think that this is an innate biological side effect of having schizophrenia? How would that even work? The more you think about this whole thing the less sense it makes.
This was just a ramble about a great example of how people with schizophrenia are consistently harassed and dehumanized. And no one will stand up for us, or even question it, because so many people view us as less than human. We deal with so much stigma that makes people believe we are dangerous, crazy, unintelligent, and a burden to the people around us. But that wasn't enough, so now we are all inherently stinky, just always smell bad, and they present that as a fact. It just goes to show how so many people don't care what we as schizophrenic people will think about it, or how it will affect us, because they simply do not care about us at all. They don't consider us as equal. As humans who are the ones experiencing the stigma along with our mental illness, and have to face each day with the weight of both on our shoulders. With no relief given to us from the people who have the privilege of not experiencing either one.
Not all schizophrenic people smell bad. That is just a lie that people are willing to believe because they already don't care about us as people.
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withleeknow · 2 days
Note
for the requests — i'll send two songs that i've liked for quite a while and you can choose the member that you see who fits the vibe?
sand by dove cameron
and
make you mine by madison beer
conversations with strangers.
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pairing: seungmin x gn!reader genre/warnings: exes to ??, non-idol au (i wrote this with seungmin in mind as a celebrity/singer or musician of some sort so it's pretty vague and it's not explicitly mentioned what he actually does, so if you wanna imagine him as an idol it still fits the narrative. i can't tell you what to do lol), Angst™️! (i think. i liked this at first but then i was looking at it so much that i became desensitized to it and idk if it's that sad anymore lol); the ending is a little ambiguous maybe?, mentions of drinking, mentions of sex, could've been more edited word count: 2.9k note: this might be one of my favorite things that i've written lately but i am also in my fish freshly dropped on land era so i am fully prepared for this to flop like ass lol bye
as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡
navigation / request masterlist / ko-fi
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I saw the end when we began You couldn't love the way I can I tried to bargain with the stars For more than half of your heart But you have more pieces of me than the desert has sand And I have less pieces of you than I can hold in my hand
Sand - Dove Cameron
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"Why did you call me?"
"Why did you come?"
There isn't a good answer to his question, so you choose to ignore it in favor of keeping your eyes on the road, your fingers holding tightly onto the steering wheel. You don't know what to tell him. You yourself aren't even sure why you came to that bar, why Seungmin is sitting in your passenger seat right now just because he was drunk and he wouldn't let anyone take him home but you.
"I asked you first," you say. It takes an effort to keep your voice even, an effort not to look over at him.
"Don't know," he sounds like he couldn't care less, but that's always been Seungmin for you. "Old habits die hard, I guess. You were the only one I used to call."
You round a corner without even having to look at the GPS. The route to his place is still ingrained in your brain even after all this time. On some nights when you feel too stuffy indoors, you would go on a walk by yourself. Directionless for an hour or two, you just want to feel the wind wrap around your body and solid ground beneath your feet.
On these same nights, you would find yourself at Seungmin's door.
It's always unintentional, the way your feet would carry you to his home without your permission.
"Used to," you reiterate. "Past tense. You don't get to call me anymore. I'm not your chauffeur."
You feel his eyes on the side of your face. Then his voice, ever so calm and collected, "You came anyway, didn't you?"
His words irritate you for some reason, even though he means nothing bad. No malice in his voice; he's just simply stating a fact. You did come when he called, and perhaps the person that you're really annoyed with is only yourself, because why did you come?
He should be a stranger to you by now, and yet, you're here.
Maybe you know the answer. Maybe it's not a hard question at all.
You let the both of you wallow in silence for the rest of the drive. When you pull up to Seungmin's building about ten minutes later, you finally turn to cast your gaze upon him with your eyebrow slightly raised, a polite Get out if there ever was one.
Instead of taking the hint like a normal person and going on his merry way, he just stares at you with his big eyes and his hair still styled to perfection even after a night of celebrating and drinking. Seungmin loves to be difficult, this you can't ever forget.
"Well?" you press. "You're home."
He blinks, then swallows thickly. He looks around your car for a few seconds, unsure of himself. If he wasn't intoxicated, you would think he's trying to stall.
"I... I can't go up by myself," he says.
"Are you serious?"
He just nods, something expectant in his gaze.
"You're a grown man."
"Help me up." He doesn't sound all too drunk, but maybe he's just got a way of masking it because Seungmin would never outright ask for help. He's stubborn, and he thinks it makes him look weak. Incapable.
In the end, you give in to his request. You let him lean on you in the elevator on the way up to his floor, the scent of his cologne still overpowering the bourbon he had all night and it makes you just a little nostalgic.
At his door, you hold onto his waist and look away when he punches in the passcode. The door unlocks and this should be it for the two of you, your unexpected reunion should be ending the moment Seungmin crosses over to the other side of the threshold, but he just turns around and looks at you, his body against the frame of the door this time.
"There, you're home safely," you say. "I've done my part. Goodnight."
"Come in."
"Why?"
"I'm tired. Come in." And with that, Seungmin retreats into the apartment, leaving the door open for you to follow without any further explanation at all. For a moment, you stand there by yourself, not really sure of what to do. You hear him shuffling inside, before the sound of his body plopping onto the couch carries over to your ears.
What business do you have here? What business did you have with Seungmin in the first place today?
And yet, you find yourself trailing inside, closing the door behind you until the lock clicks into place. Maybe you're curious to see what the place looks like since the last time that you were here. The two of you never lived together - you weren't foolish enough to agree even though he did ask - but you were over often enough to consider this your second home.
Not much has changed. It's still the same minimalist four walls that you were used to. Same light gray paint, same black couch. Same framed signature of his favorite baseball player and same tiny crack in the decorative bowl on the coffee table. There's a photo on the credenza lying face down seemingly on purpose, but you don't say anything about it.
"What am I doing here?" you ask.
"Why did you come?" he shoots you the question for the second time tonight.
You blink at him. He only stares back.
"Why did you call me?" you repeat. "Why did you really call me?"
Questions thrown out but no answers received, like you're both running in circles, with neither of you knowing why you're even running in the first place.
Seungmin purses his lips before he stands up, the suddenness of the movement leaves him unsteady on his feet, makes him hold onto the couch's armrest for support. "Do you want some water?"
You bite the inside of your cheek. "Okay."
"Give me a second. Have a seat."
You watch as he pads into the kitchen a little wobbly, then returns a few minutes later with two glasses of water. He sits back down on the couch next to you, some distance dividing the two of you. He takes a sip, you do the same.
"Called you because I missed you," he says, casually admitting it like he was merely discussing the weather. The place hasn't changed, but maybe he has.
The last time you spoke to Seungmin was about six months ago, when he dropped off your things two weeks after you broke up. You haven't had any contact since, and that's exactly the way it should be for you and him now. You went your separate ways and that was it. A mutual agreement that hurts, but it was mutual nonetheless. For the past half a year, all he's been to you is a stranger. You know why it had to happen. You agreed to it.
But, just because you haven't talked, doesn't mean that you haven't thought of him. You wish he only crossed your mind in passing, wish your brain only conjured up the image of him whenever you saw something that he would like, or whenever you caught a glimpse of him on the TV or radio. In reality, it's been much more pathetic. You think of him almost every day, despite your best efforts to cleanse yourself of everything that's remotely related to the name Kim Seungmin. His absence carries itself with you all the time, a hollowness that seeps into every crevice of your life.
You know he means it. Seungmin doesn't lie, least of all to you. His honesty twists inside of you like a knife. Salt, meet wound.
You have no words to offer him, no response you can think of that would make sense to say out loud so you don't say anything. The only sound that falls from your lips is his name, like a warning, a plea, a consolation all at once.
But he doesn't seem to mind. Not his sudden vulnerability, not your reluctance to entertain that split second of honesty.
"I answered your question. Now you have to answer mine," he says. "Why did you come?"
"What do you want me to tell you?"
He doesn't respond right away. Instead, he takes a moment like he's mulling it over in his head. "Thought maybe you missed me too," he says eventually, ending the sentence with a bitter chuckle. "Just a little bit."
You tongue your cheek, stall with another sip of water before you place the glass on the table. On a coaster of course, Seungmin hates cup rings on his fancy table.
You lean back to rest on the couch, staring up at his boring ceiling. There are memories of you on this very couch, ones of you lying with your head on his lap as he plays with your hair, the two of you winding down after a long day. Or ones that are far too inappropriate to bring up ever again, of nights where you were both too desperate and impatient to take it to the bedroom. Those gentle reminders are still here somewhere, tucked between the cushions perhaps.
"Sure." You hum, nodding along. "Let's go with that."
Another chuckle, humorless. Though, you think he's pleased enough with that non-answer but you're not sure. He mirrors your position, falling into the couch with a sigh. From your peripheral vision, you think he's scooched closer to you, just by a few centimeters, in the process of settling into the sofa.
"My turn," you say. "Why do you want me here?"
"What is this, 21 questions?"
You shrug simply. "You asked me to come in. I'm just curious."
When Seungmin stays silent for a beat too long, you turn your head to watch him, thinking maybe he's knocked out because of the alcohol in his system. But you find him wide awake, his eyes staring ahead, looking like he's already sober.
His face is unreadable when he says, "Wanted to see something."
"See what?"
"See if something is still there."
It's your turn to remain quiet as you process his words, and it's Seungmin who has to turn to gauge your reaction.
"And? Is anything still there?" you ask.
"I don't know, you tell me. You're the one that stayed."
"Does it matter? If I say there is?"
"Of course it does."
"What would you do about it?"
He goes still once more. You know he doesn't have an answer to your question. What would he do? What could he even do? Patch things up only for them to fall apart again in a couple months? Once upon a time, you were naive enough to think that you could find a way to make it work. You had enough blind faith to think that it would all work out in the end; that if you wanted it enough, maybe the universe would let you have this one thing.
You return your gaze to the ceiling. He's shown you his cards, maybe it's only fair that you show him some of yours too.
An uncertain inhale, then the realization that this is the only time you would be able to have an honest conversation with him about this.
"Wanna hear something funny?" you ask.
"I have a feeling you're gonna tell me anyway."
It's anything but funny, and Seungmin is certain that you're not building up to a punchline. Sure, it's a little tragic that nothing matters, but there's some freedom, some comfort in that too. You can tell him everything that's plagued your mind for the past couple hundred days or so without having to worry about the repercussions. Even though not all is said, everything is already done.
"You know, you were mine before you were anyone else's," you say. You feel his eyes on the side of your face. The silence persists, and you aren't sure if you can take it as a sign to continue, but you do so anyway because at least he's not pumping the brakes on it, right? "I used to be jealous of your life. Toward the end, I mean."
"Jealous of what?"
"I don't know. Just your life, your dream. All of it."
Seungmin blinks. "You were jealous that I got to live my dream?"
"I said I was jealous of your life, not you," you correct him. "Because you always seemed to want everything else more than you wanted me."
"You make it sound like I was the bad guy." He turns a little defensive all of a sudden, an edge in his voice when he says, "That's not true."
You still remember him well enough to know that it is.
And it's not such a terrible thing; it's simply the truth. You can't fault him for having a dream and for having enough courage to see it through, even if it means unintentionally leaving you behind in the process. You could foresee the end even from the beginning. If you wanted to blame someone, you would have to blame yourself too.
You swerve around his metaphorical walls, his make-believe suit of armor. If you'd been nervous around Seungmin tonight, then that anxiety is now chipping away brick by brick the more you internalize the fact that nothing matters anymore.
"Remember your last show before we broke up? You were so happy, I was so proud of you. You belong on stage and I never wanted to take that away from you. But then I noticed the crowd, the thousands of people out there cheering your name and I realized that I would never compare to them. Their praise meant more to you than mine, and it was only a matter of time before you outgrew me to look for bigger and better spotlights.
"I'm not saying you were wrong for any of it. I don't blame you. You were always going to outgrow me. It's sad, but it's okay. I always knew that you'd have to leave me behind at some point. It's on me too; I just fell too hard too fast for someone who could never stay. It's your dream, you can't help it. But that night... that was the nail in the coffin for me, knowing that one day, to you, I would be just one of the faces in a crowd that you can't even tell apart."
It doesn't hurt as much as you thought it would. In fact, it's even a little cathartic to pour out the words that have been sitting heavy on your chest. Although it's not until a single tear spills over that you realize your eyes have welled up somewhere along the way. You quickly wipe it away with your thumb, then you feel his hand reach for yours after a few beats.
Seungmin calls your name, and you can hear the regret in his voice. When you look at him, his eyes have softened, no longer on the defense now that you've beat him to the offense. "I'm not drunk enough to forget about this in the morning, you know," he says.
"Does it matter? What are you going to do about it in the morning?" you ask. "We're already broken up. It's not like we can go anywhere from here. But at least now you know what it was like for me."
It seems to be a common theme tonight - stretches of silence in between admissions of truth so that one of you can gauge the other's reaction, trying to assess what path would be worth it to take at this crossroad you find yourselves unable to move on from.
Then he's tugging on your hand, pulling you to him until you're in each other's orbit again. Close enough for him to wrap his arm around you. Close enough that you're weak, not that you were ever that strong to begin with. It doesn't really come as a surprise that you let him.
"I..." Seungmin starts, full of uncertainty as he tries to string together a sentence. "We could go back."
This isn't a surprise either, that you're considering his words.
"What happens when it ends again?"
You can practically taste the residual bourbon on his breath when he leans into you, his lips brushing your cheek just slightly. "Then it ends again," he says, a little pained, all too selfish. "But it'll be worth it. It's worth it to me."
"What if it's not what I want? What if it's not worth it to me?"
He pulls back, putting some distance between your faces so he could see you better, the deep brown of his eyes searching for something that you're both aware of.
"You came tonight," he murmurs, as if that in and of itself is a sufficient enough explanation. "You stayed."
Not all is said, but everything is already done.
You had chance after chance after chance to leave, to shut this down - whatever this is - but you didn't, not even once. You're still a willing participant even though you've lived through this ending before. You know he loved you, know he loves you even if the way he goes about it is selfish.
Because you do know the answer to his questions. It's clear as day; anyone can see it from a mile away.
When your world eventually comes crashing down again some time from now, you won't blame Seungmin. You won't blame yourself either, despite having option to walk away from all of this right now.
Because maybe some pains are worth enduring twice, aren't they?
Why did you come? Why did you stay?
Is anything still there?
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all rights reserved © withleeknow. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted 08.06.2024]
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mj0702 · 1 day
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For @tasha95 ... I hope it meets your expectations 😅 I got a little carried away 😅😅
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“Bitsy I love you... I REALLY love you but this is ridiculous” Keira said one evening after training as you two were driving back to her home
“What?” you said absently as you looked up from your phone
“The situation between you and Ona” the blonde clarified
“There is no situation” you grumbled getting back on your phone
“There is... I don't know what happened and you know I'll never push you to tell me but I have eyes and the way Ona always looks over at you and you avoiding her like the pest is a dead give away that there is a situation” Keira said as she stopped at a red light
“There is no situation” you answered
“Bitsy” the blonde said softly
“I let a fan comment get the better of me and said some.. not so nice things” you mumbled
“What did the fan said that YOU of all people let it get to you?” Keira asked her hand finding your knee to calm you down
“They asked me if Lucy and Ona where a thing since Lstans wedding or before... you know.. back in Manchester” you mumbled getting even more ashamed
“Oh Bitsy... you started to overthink didn't you?” the blonde sighed
“Yeah... I called them hypocrites” you said looking down on your hands
“Why?” Keira asked confused
“Lucy was so upset about G and I and I really thought they started before....” you left the rest of the sentence open
“... you thought Lucy cheated on me with Ona?” Keira said confused and shocked
“Kinda... yeah” you mumbled
“And that would make Ona a hypocrite how?” the blonde started do push the answer out of you a little bit
“Don't know.... I was just so mad” you said honestly
“I DO understand where you're coming from Bits... and you know I'm always in your corner but you probably hurt Ona.. I know you didn't have it easy in the past but you need to suck it up and apologize” Keira said seriously her hand still on your knee squeezing it lightly
“I know.... I REALLY know... I just don't know HOW” you said your voice a little desperate
“Ona is very forgiving you know... pull her aside and apologize – a real honest apology and I can promise you she'll forget about it” the blonde smiled encouraging “... but you hurt her”
“I know... I feel very bad about it” you mumbled embarrassed
“Good.. you are an amazing person Bitsy – just show Ona” Keira smiled as she pulled into the driveway
That was one week ago. You still haven't apologized. Simply due to the fact that every time you talked some courage into yourself and you were on the way towards Ona to finally apologize someone called her, talked to her or swept her away for some media. So you retorted to you last resort which brought you to the current situation – slumped down against Lucys front door waiting for the familiar black Cupra to pull up. You were waiting now for two hours now and there was still no one in sight. Your phone nearly dead from all the texting with your girlfriend you were down to count the pedals of the roses in the small front yard. Finally there was a car coming down the street and you got some hope that it was Lucy but you soon realized that it wasn't. So you kept on waiting – you told Keira where you were so she wouldn't freak out but right now you wished for nothing more than someone familiar next to you. The sun began to set about 20 minutes ago and it started to get dark really quickly. You were tired – so so tired. Since you were back in Barcelona – and after you kind of worked through your trauma about your ACL and the realisation that you'll never ever play professional football again – you started to kick the ball around more often. Mostly with Mapí, Pina and Patri who never said a single word about how broken you looked. Even tho the three took it lightly with you it costed you a lot of Energy to keep up with them. The first time they saw you again when Lucy brought you back from Munich, your girlfriend right next to you not letting you out of her sight for a single second – they where shocked but never ever said a word about it and just accepted everything you were willing to give freely.
So you pulled the Barcelona Jacket you got from Alexia - in a small moment between the two of you – tighter around you and got a little more “comfortable” against the door. You didn't plan to fall asleep but eventually you did. That's how Lucy and Ona found you about one and a half hours later when they finally made their way home – having stopped for some dinner spontaneously on the way and then taking a little walk at the beach.
“Bubs? Hey Bubs” Lucy said softly and started to shake you lightly so she wouldn't startle you
“Hm??” you grunted lowly not really waking up
“Come on Bubs... it's getting cold here... let's get you inside” your sister said lovingly as she picked you up like you weight nothing
“Can't... need to wait for Ona.... need to pologize” you mumbled still three quarter asleep not realizing that Ona was right next to Lucy
“It's okay Bubs” Lucy mumbled into your hair holding you tightly against her while Ona unlocked the door “You can apologise tomorrow”
“No...” you whined as you drifted off to sleep again “... trying for a week now... always someone stealing her”
“She'll be right here when you wake up Bubs” your sister said as she carefully laid you down on “your” bed before leaving the room letting the door a small bit open so you wouldn't feel trapped if you'd wake up later
“She doesn't need to apologise” Ona said immediately as Lucy came back into the living room “I know she didn't mean it”
“She needs to... for her own sake... I saw how she tried the whole week to try and come over to talk to you” Lucy said as she opened a bottle of wine since they had a day off tomorrow
“When?” Ona asked confused not noticing how you struggled to find a way to talk to her “I kept an eye on her but every time I looked she was either deep in conversation or with the Trio of Trouble”
“Mhm...” your sister confirmed while passing a glass to her girlfriend “... and every time she looked over you were either in conversation or got stolen away for media – it drove me crazy to watch the two of you looking past each other for a week”
“Why didn't you say anything?” the spaniard said confused
“Not my place....” Lucy shrugged her shoulders “... that's something between her and you”
“Morning” you mumbled once you dragged yourself into the kitchen
“Bon dia Bebita” Ona said softly reaching you a cup of coffee
“I want to apologise” you mumbled lowly after you took a small sip of coffee
“No need Bebita...” the blonde started but you interrupted her immediately
“... yes need... what I did and say wasn't okay... not at all... Lucy and Keira always told me not to listen to fans or media... I don't know why this comment got to me the way it did.... maybe because Lucy was so... shitty about G and I... I don't know... but you had nothing to do with it... I'm sorry Ona... I'm sorry I pulled you into the shit I made up in my head” you said honestly but you couldn't bring yourself to look into her eyes
“Look at me...” Ona said firmly and you thought you really fucked up and your mind started to go a million miles an hour about how you just destroyed either the relationship between Lucy and Ona or even worse for you – the relationship between your sister and you
“... Bebita... I really appreciate your apology – I do...” the spaniard started softly “... but there is no need. I know how certain comments can hurt – especially if they're made to get a reaction out of you... and I followed some pages online and not one of them posted anything about Lucys and mine relationship other than the usual – so you didn't let that comment get to you until you were out of the situation and that's worth more than every apology... at least to me... you didn't comment on it you left and you didn't bring Lucy or I in a situation where we had to think about a plan to do “damage control”... you showed me that you accept me and our relationship... and that's the biggest gift you could give me”
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s1llydr3amscape · 1 day
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LET ME OUT
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Looks like someone failed the captcha test to many times!
Anyways I always wanted to doodle this specific pose from Toyless' animation why because I can :]
Extras under the cut :
This was the specific screenshot I based the pose off I love hands grabbing head!!! :
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youtube
The original video ^ (I'll be real with yall I was shocked the original song was poppy playtime because my only experience with it was that all my baby cousins loved that franchise. And they would show me vids off it at family gatherings because I was the babysitter. One of em even debated me abt fnaf like chill out bro you weren't even born when it came out!!!!!)
Glitchtrap rambling time woohoo let's go!!!!
-I redrew em again because I think I'm almost 100% happy with its design!!!! Like I don't wanna change their face so much because the way his face is shaped is my fave!!! Like they have the same style of muzzle as sonic characters!!!!!! I just made it rounder cuz its their early days before this au lore
-I just wanna achieve the unnaturalness with their design. Like they don't belong here. They want to get out. LET HIM OUT. type vibe basically like that's why it has like those kind off teeth instead off the rabbit ones. They get those later in the au.
-I fucking love Glitchtrap so much you don't understand they're so peak!!!!!! I jokingly hate him because I despise what it did to Vanny.
-I was a fan since day 1 bro is just so unique like woah a non animatronic for a change?!?!? STRAIGHT UP A FURSUIT!??!?! Color me impressed!!! I love zooming on it its model and seeing everyy little detail!!! Like omg bro is crying and drooling on the suit!!!!! There's also a patch of uneven stitching pattern on the top of their head compared to their mostly symmetrical design!!!
-I was so fixated on em like my level of obsession for him was bad bad!!!! Like yeah it was still there when Vanny came around during the curse of Dreadbear DLC but you don't understand it surpassed all my Foxy art!!! The first fnaf character I fixated on!?!?? Like what and yall can ask my IRLS bro had lots n lots of art!!!!! I have so much trad art of glitchy it's embarassing!!! Atleast I improved tbh!!
-I just really really loved the fan animations were bro got to time travel to the older fnaf animations and fuck em up!!!! Causing them all to glitch out like hello PEAK!?!?!?! No im not biased to rabbit characters with whiskers shhhhh... SHHH...
-Because I know all those animations already and it's like omg omg OMG Glitchtrap kinda expanded my music taste imma be fr... Fnaf autism is so bad I omfg I only listened to fnaf songs and the only time I listened to other franchises songs is because someone animated fnaf over it... like yeah I was an animation meme kid but even then I only remember the lyrics and titles to songs if I saw fnaf on them (cringe!!!!) So yeah thank u Glitchtrap <33333
-I think Malhare is the cooler name but the Glitchtrap name is cool too because when the names end in trap like this it makes me think they're like warrior cats adjacent. So in this one they just fluctuate between either Malhare or Glitchtrap
-Also another reason he's my super fave is because my brain predicted it's gloop form!!!!
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-Like no joke literally the same character I dreamt about during the early days before Princess Quest.
-Except mine was a shadow like the shadow animatronics. More wispy than gloopy. I think the reason I dreamt it was because Shadow Toy Chica and fan made shadow animatronics were getting popular!! But legit same character and colors!!!!!!!
-Just a big dark mass with purple eyes surrounding it like literally the same character my brain came up with and I'm just wow <3333 minus the fact my design had really big giant swirly white eyebrows
-However my Shadow Glitchtrap was kinda more wack to say the least. Like heheheh cuz Glitchtraps a fursuit there's no denying that I changed the dream design a bit. In my old Glitchtrap designs they'd have a zipper and so what would happen was they'd unzip and flip their insides into outsides to reveal the Shadow Glitchtrap thing which was hiding inside them.
-Like those plushies that you can unzip to reveal a different plushie design basically!!!!
-TBH I prefer Glooptrap because yeah!!!!! Amalgamation of hate let's go!!!!!! I think with how gloopy he is its just fun to draw I love the fact that the weird Glitchtrap blockers look like that it fits too much with my own preestablished AU lore.
-I feel like Glitchtrap turns into Glooptrap from like the seams of their suit. Like you see that each part the suit got stitched just turn black as black liquid pours out like ohhh that shit haunted!!!! Bursting outta the seams like oh this guy has no one inside they're all just black sludge!!!!
-In this AU specifically (The one with my millions of Vanny designs) is actually a spoof fnaf AU where everyone lives!!! Like I have 3 AUs technically one of them being the fnaf cast in my oc world where they become my ocs basically called Rabbit City. My other one which is my more serious canon adjacent fnaf AU where no silly stuff or shipping happens, and it's just more overall following my own formed understanding of the canonicity and the series of events with me trying to keep the animatronics more game accurate (I dont think ive posted any of that here due to me feeling like my style limits the nit and grit I wanna go with it). And this one I mainly post on here where everything is just silly and bends to my command and everyone lives because I love everyone <333333 Literally playing with my toys type AU where I do what I want which is why a million vanny designs are in this AU specifically. I usually tag it as this 🦭🩷🐇🐰🐇🐰🐇🐰🐯 because the original name of this au is self indulgent and I'm embarrassed but it's too iconic to change it.
-Glitchtrap in this AU is just much more goofy and silly infecting people like a zombie virus and possessing them for his own gain. Weird eldritch horror that came out of a fnaf fangame. Anything goes in this AU so if I wanna make Glitchtrap a mind controlling zombie warlock wizard so be it!!!! Sorry I love zombies soo much you will have to take this trope out of my cold dead hands!!!!! I love rot!!!
-That's why it's wrinkly because they too me are like a rotten banana (Even though his associated smell to me is lemongrass). Imagine squeezing a banana still with it's skin on. That's how I imagine bro turns into glooptrap if they didn't open the zipper in time. Also because I love the design trope of rotting and withering sue me. I love when the flesh sags across the body. Wrinkles are great bro theyre so real!!!!! Also because back then people kept drawing him as skinny as a twig??? Even though they have fat??? So I made them fatter mostly because like I love the gloop part of it hiding inside <3333
-They're more green pink and purple because imma be real my fave color combo ever <33333
-I wanna do an xray piece with them soon to show their insides but I'm still uncertain if I have the art prowess to concoct it exactly like how I envision it yet. Like I need to squash and scretch them more. They need to look more decrepit and horrible!!!!! something like the unknown from dbd!!!!
-They can't actually emote properly stuck in a permanent smile
-Glithctrap and Vanny’s dynamic is like Lord Hater and Commander Peepers in this one. There's more character adjacent to the dynamic between them concocted in my head but I wanna draw a comic abt it :]
-Like yeah one second they're besties and the next they're at each other's throats ready to strangle eachother. Vanny reluctantly trying to help him at first like how she was first called.
-Oh also in this specific AU Glitchtrap isn't connected to William in the slightest more just it's own thing!!!!
-He's like an AI that wants to be human. It believes it is human. They've mimicked people too much that they don't know what they are anymore. Or what it wants anymore. What do they want.
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firewasabeast · 2 days
Text
Our Future
(a bucktommy mini(ish) fic)
ao3 link or read below
Summary: Buck gets a little reckless at work, and Tommy gets a lot upset.
It had started with the silent treatment when Buck first got home from work. Tommy was fixing dinner, forcefully plucking basil leaves from the stem and tossing them into the pot when Buck came in.
He knew something was wrong right away, especially when he was only greeted with a monotone, “Hello,” and no attempt to move away from the pot that did not actually need to be stirred at the moment.
Buck had walked over to him, giving him a kiss on the cheek before going to shower.
Once he was showered and dressed in sweats and a t-shirt, he came back out and sat down at the kitchen island, where Tommy was now aggressively chopping lettuce.
“So, how was your day?” Buck asked cautiously.
“Fine.”
“Do anything fun?”
“Not really.”
“Get some rest?”
“Tried to.”
Buck rested his hands on the counter, tapping his fingers a few times before asking his next question. “You didn't... Did you happen to catch the evening news?”
Instead of answering, Tommy stopped chopping the lettuce, put the knife down and went to the fridge to get a cucumber. A thick silence filled the space between them as Tommy washed the cucumber and returned to his cutting board. He picked back up the knife and resumed the harsh chopping.
“I will take that as a yes,” Buck mumbled. He sighed, briefly resting his head in his hands before continuing, “Say something, Tommy. You've got your grumpy face and everything; I know you're mad.”
“I'm not mad,” he answered, obviously mad. “And I do not have a grumpy face.”
“You very much do have a grumpy face.” He tried to meet Tommy's eyes from across the island, but Tommy was avoiding him. “Come on, Tom,” Buck said calmly, patiently, “Talk to me.”
Tommy put down the knife and, for the first time since Buck got home, he looked at him. His eyes were red. It almost looked like he'd been crying.
“I just don't get it, Evan. What would possess you to do that?”
“It's my job,” Buck defended. “It's our job. It's what we do.”
“No. No, what you did was way beyond the job. You know how I know it was beyond the job?” He asked rhetorically. “I know because, when I was watching the news, I could hear Bobby on the live feed yelling at you to not go back in.”
“I- I had to go back in though, Tommy. I had to save him. If I didn't go back in, he would have died.”
“He. Was. A. Hamster!” Tommy replied, emphasizing each word. “You risked your life, for a hamster.”
“Of course I did!” Buck said, as though it was crazy to think he wouldn't go back in. “Tommy, you didn't see that little girl crying. Sh- She just got Georgie a couple months ago for her birthday a- and she took such good care of him. She was freaking out. I didn't really think about it, I just went.”
“That's the problem!” Tommy exclaimed, motioning to Buck. “You didn't think about it. You never think about it. You go, and you run into the fire, and you become the hero, and you never once stop to think about you!”
“Hey, that's not fair-”
“What if the ceiling would have collapsed?” Tommy continued. “What if your exit had become blocked? Or the buildup of smoke got you lost? You never considered those things, did you?”
“I told you I didn't think about it,” Buck replied. His voice was quiet, reserved. He wasn't sure if what he was feeling was anger or shame. Either way, he hated it.
“Well, you should have.”
Okay, now Buck knew it was anger he was feeling. “Oh, thank you for those- those wise words. You've really changed my perspective. You should have,” he mocked, getting up from his seat. He went to head toward their bedroom, every intention to slam the door behind him, but instead he turned back around to face Tommy. “You know, we've been together for two years and never once have you made me feel bad for doing my job! In fact, most of the time, you seem to find it pretty hot.”
“When you're not being careless.”
“I was not being careless! I was saving an animal! I was helping that kid wh- who just lost everything she had.”
“Yeah, well what about us, Evan? What about everything you have? Our future? Our kids?”
All the retorts Buck had prepared suddenly disappeared. He stared at Tommy for a moment, dumbfounded, before uttering out, “Our... Our kids? Tommy, we don't have kids.”
Tommy put his hands on his hips, standing straighter. “No, not yet, but one day we will.”
“You think about that?”
“Of course I do,” Tommy replied as though it should be obvious. “We've talked about having kids someday, Ev.”
“Yeah, I- I know we talked about it I just didn't know you thought about it.” Any hint of anger in his voice had long fallen away.
“Don't you?”
Buck nodded. “Yeah. A lot.”
Tommy took a breath, rubbing his hands over his eyes to try and wipe away some of the exhaustion from the day. He moved around the island, taking a few steps closer to Buck. “I just worry,” he said, his voice faltering. “I worry that one day you're going to run into a burning building looking for a turtle, or a fish, and then I'm gonna have to explain that to our kids. I'm gonna be left,” he paused, “left alone, and I can't- I can't handle that.”
“But what if it's a person?” Buck asked. “How would that be any easier?”
“It wouldn't be easier,” Tommy admitted, “but at least I'd understand it then. Listen, Evan, I love animals as much as the next person but I love you a lot more. I'd like to know that when you're at work, you're there with the priority to come back home.”
Buck moved closer to Tommy. Close enough to reach out and grab his hand. “I can't promise you that I'll never run into a building looking for an animal again. That's just me, you know that. But I can promise you that surviving and coming home to you, and our future children, is always in the front of my mind. Always.”
Tommy nodded, blinking away tears. “Today was, um, it was the first time I was ever home, just sitting and watching the news and there you were. They had a special alert for the fire, and it was just live coverage of everything happening, and there you were,” he took in a shaky breath. “I couldn't do anything but watch and when you ran back in, I- I started counting. It was four minutes, twenty three seconds and I don't think I took a breath that entire time. I know it sounds ridiculous, but it kind of felt like my heart was breaking apart, piece by piece.”
Buck shook his head. “That's not ridiculous,” he said, squeezing Tommy's hand even tighter. He pulled Tommy closer, wrapping him in a hug. “I would've felt the same way if it was you. I'm sorry.”
Tommy rested his chin on Buck's shoulder, closing his eyes. “You don't need to be sorry.”
After they held each other for a moment, Tommy pulled back just enough to look at Buck. “Evan, I don't want you to change who you are. You know that, right?”
“I know,” Buck replied, and it was true. He knew Tommy loved him for exactly who he was, even if he was a little reckless sometimes.
“I just-”
Buck raised a hand to Tommy's cheek, stopping him. “I know,” he assured him. He leaned in, giving Tommy a soft kiss. Tommy sighed into it, the tenseness from the day leaving his body.
“I think we should order out,” Buck said once they parted. “Dinner's starting to smell a little charred.”
Tommy's eyes widened. “Oh God,” he said, rushing over to the burnt pot of food on the stove.
“So, did they say anything about me on the news?” Buck asked cheekily as Tommy turned off the stove and dumped the pot into the sink. “Come up with any good nicknames?”
“Oh, actually, yeah,” Tommy replied. “They were calling you the Rodent Rescuer.”
Buck's face fell. “You're kidding.”
Tommy smiled. “I'm not.” He walked back over to Buck, pressing another gentle kiss to his lips. “I prefer Hamster Hero,” he said, smacking Buck's ass playfully as he headed into the living room to get his phone and order some food.
Buck smiled. “I hate you,” he said, plopping down on the couch beside Tommy.
Tommy wrapped his arm around Buck, pulling him to his chest. He leaned down and kissed the top of his head, running his fingers through Buck's hair. “Yeah, I hate you too.”
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anotherocean · 1 day
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My first pick a pile reading for you all! Been wanting to do this for a long time and hopefully add a little sparkle to your day, some guidance, maybe reassurance (?), or just a little divination fun.
This is a general reading for your life at the moment. I used tarot and my intuition to come up with these readings. If you aren't familiar with how to do this, you just pick an image that pops out at you, or choose one quickly and randomly. Whatever method you want to use it usually works. Pile readings below! Let me know if anything resonated with you! This is my first time doing this so feedback is really nice :)
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Hello my beautiful pile 1s! A lot of mental energy here!
My main piece of advice pile 1 is:
GIVE IN TO THE NOT KNOWING
Looks like you could use some support with that overactive mind of yours. First thing's first it's going to be okay. It looks like you've had some sleepless nights recently and something is keeping you awake at night in worry-- whatever you are going through is not easy and would test anyone's faith. This might be the result of feeling betrayed (or a misunderstanding for some) in some way, or perhaps you are even lowering yourself to a level that feels untrue to you. In any case your soul is saying no to a lot of ways you are perceiving your situation right now and urging you to take a step back. Your idealism may be pushing up against some cold hard facts … about a person? (never a fun feeling) and disillusionment of some sort might be setting in. Your desire to win or succeed or have your own way may be clouding the best avenue toward your genuine peace and fulfillment (I've been there honey, I feel you). I am getting the feeling you are going around and around in your head playing mental games. Tap into your honesty and your intuition. Don't sneak out the proverbial back door. Patience is required right now. You'll make it through I believe in you! Things are going to work out, but maybe it's time to rest and reflect a bit babe? I'm getting the sense that rest frightens you a bit. Either you feel you can't stop, or rest has become equated with stagnation in your mind. In this instance that is not the case. Rest is a terrific idea for you because this looks like something you need to wait out. On the upside, I'm seeing that for some of you there could be some wonderful feelings of inspiration or drive or something urging you forward. Perhaps there is a complex mix of your excitement for a new idea or project, and conflict between something going on in your life, so you are experiencing some push/pull dynamics that are causing a lot of uncomfortable mental energy. My advice is rest, tap into some inner strength, and give in to not knowing and what a truly beautiful and relieving feeling that can be. You can't possibly know, so don't! You don't need to figure everything all out at once honey, or solve this problem immediately.
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Hello my incredible pile 2's! I love you.
You have an incredibly clear mind at the moment. You are approaching your situation with logic, which may feel a bit at odds with your needs to be nurtured. I'm getting maybe someone studying or pouring themselves into research but forgetting to take care of their more sensual needs like eating nice meals, going for walks, etc. In the distant or recent past you may have been in a limiting situation -- either victimized by some form of addiction, or bad relationship, or something that was bringing out parts of your shadow side that were not to your liking. This was something that you may have felt chained to... I'm getting your toxic ball and chain. That said, I'm seeing that you are harnessing a lot of energy positively right now, and will continue to do so. You have the power and ability to manifest your dreams, reach toward your goals, be the creator in your life. In the past you may have felt victimized and held captive by a person or situation, but you are now finding yourself (or about to be finding yourself) holding the power in your life. The world around you is aligned with you in presenting you with new opportunities for growth and love, and this is merely reflecting all the power you have right now. It seems you may be faced with an important decision, and while you are jumping and ready for new adventures, I ask you to also make sure you align your desire for adventure with your values related to the people and relationships in your life. You can do no wrong if you truly consult your heart in this important decision and take an honest look there by also allowing the people in your life to be included in that "gazing into the heart" that I mentioned. You are not an island, you are most definitely connected. You also have some doubts it looks like, or fears of separation or loss. The pain of heartbreak. A last word of advice is talk to someone you trust, perhaps a mentor, or consult your higher power for guidance. You may find resolution in aligning yourself with your traditions, or the traditions of people around you. I have to be honest pile 2, your picture isn't crystal clear for me, so I hope I filled in enough blanks to give this reading some value for you!
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Pile 3 hello! So much beauty here.
It looks like there are so many beautiful things in your life right now. Wonderful relationships, some degree of emotional fulfillment, and periods of gorgeous and harmonious socializing and abundance are all present. There is a strong, positive emphasis on community, but you also need to nurture your individual creative expressions (be that something tangible like painting a picture, or something more related to using your creative abilities for manifestation, or maybe just... spending some time in the garden planting seeds). You need to see the fruits of your own labor (!!!). Also, let it be known that as soon as I began your reading and was looking at the above image I felt such a lightness! Wish I were you pile 3! Like a breath of fresh air. Life is good. You also want to create some more stability for yourself. Even with all the good things, you have your sights set on something better and what a beautiful thing that is! You might be itching for something new and exciting, even with all the good things going on in your life, and the main and BIG POWERFUL MESSAGE of this reading is to embrace change. You may have built up something gorgeous and fulfilling but your heart is looking for more. EMBRACE the radical changes. EMBRACE the tearing down of the good things. More good things will come. You may currently find yourself feeling influenced by some conservatism around you (not necessarily a bad thing), but the stable attitude of those around you may be at odds with your need to honor your enthusiasm for adventure and break down what you have in order to build up something new again. As I mentioned, what you've built is gorgeous, but perhaps it is time to tear it down? You have some fears and worries around this, so take this advice as lightly or deeply as you like. Whatever the case, the changes you want aren't going to be a lightning bolt. You need to put effort into long term planning with patience, and perseverance. You need to carefully nurture your efforts right now, more than you need to immediately start a new life.
=====
That's it! I had so much fun doing this, I hope you enjoyed it! It was fun getting a peak into some of your lives. At some point I may offer clarification card readings if any of you want to pay for additional info or extra questions related to the above readings. I'm not sure yet, just enjoying the experiment and maybe I'll do this with some regularity :) Also let me know if there's any specific reading you might like to see me do in the future! I have been so hardcore into astrology recently (truly obsession level) so tarot is a nice little sideline.
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cobaltperun · 2 days
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Lost (Side - 3) - Daddy issue
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Tara Carpenter x Female Reader
Story masterlist
Set after chapter 30.
Word count: 0.7k
The horror... the worst case scenario... the absolute nightmare. It was the end of the world as you knew it, and you and Tara were equally to blame for it as the two of you stared at your children like two deer in the headlights.
"W-what did you just ask?" Tara stuttered, blushing as Zack and Susan just stared at you confused and curious.
Zack frowned a bit, clearly not fond of the fact that he had to repeat his question. It wasn't that you and Tara didn't hear him, it was more along the lines of having to make sure you heard him correctly.
Susan was the one to shatter the last of your hope. "Mommy, why did you call mom daddy?" she repeated Zack's question.
You and Tara looked at one another, neither of you quite sure how to explain to your eleven-year-old children that there was a bit of a daddy kind going on behind the bedroom doors.
You cleared your throat as Tara refused to look at either of the two kids. "Well, you see, that's," there was no way to explain it!
"Mom is a mom, not a dad," well, now Zack was just pointing out the very obvious fact.
"Right, that is completely right," Tara agreed and grabbed your hand. "Give us a minute, okay?" she let go of your hand to slice two pieces of the cake you made yesterday, and set them on the table as the bribe. "We'll be right back!"
You let her pull you into the hall and she let you pull her into a hug as she hid her face in the crook of your neck. "This is a disaster," she whined, grasping onto your shirt as if her lkfe depended on it.
There was no way you could deny it, you were in a very inconvenient situation. "Guess we need to find some explanation."
Tara just groaned. "I will never speak again," she decided making you chuckle despite the dire circumstances.
"Come on, we'll get through this," you kissed the top of her head. You were willing to bet you'd be laughing about it later. It was just a bad timing, Tara may have been a bit of a tease, so you went and slipped into a bit more dominant role, prompting a 'Yes, Daddy,' from Tara, just as the twins came into the kitchen.
Tara took a deep breath and looked toward the kitchen with a firm, confident and determined expression on her face. "Let's do this!"
You nodded and followed her once again.
When you came into the kitchen your children were happily eating their cake. "You don't have to tell us," Zack decided and you felt hope filling your heart and you were sure Tara felt the same.
"We'll just Google it!" Susan shattered that hope right away.
"No!" you and Tara yelled at the same time.
The twins tilted their heads, now even more confused.
"Okay, look," you glanced at Tara, and she nodded. "Tara and I really love each other, right?" you asked prompting the twins to nod.
"And sometimes when people like Y/N and me love each other," Tara blushed again and looked to the side, scratching her cheek while taking hold of your hand for comfort.
"We sometimes joke around. 'Cause I am really strong, you know, the famous 'dad strength'?" was it a lame excuse? Yeah, but you hoped it would be enough.
Zack and Susan looked at one another. Then back at you and nodded. "Okay," they agreed much to your surprise.
"This sounds too good to be true," you whispered to Tara, who nodded.
"We'll just ask aunty Mindy," Susan decided.
"NO!" you and Tara once again yelled but the kids were already calling Mindy.
"What's up?" Mindy's voice came from the speaker to your and Tara's absolute horror.
"Aunty Mindy, why did mommy call mom daddy?" Susan asked causing Mindy to choke.
"Mindy," you warned, your tone dangerously low.
Mindy coughed a few times. "Sorry, kids, your parents are kinky," she opened the can of worms and hung up, leaving the twins to once again look at you and Tara.
"What does kinky mean?"
This was hell, this was worse than Ghostface, this was...
"You are too young to know. Who wants chicken schnitzels and fries for lunch?" you were already grabbing the chicken breasts from the freezer as the kids cheered, at least for now forgetting about the conversation you just had.
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poppy-metal · 2 days
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hear me out... what if we combine some of the thoughts? stepbro! patrick who finds out that you've been posting videos of yourself online. every night going to some porn site to jerk himself out. using the videos to imagine different things to do to you until he finds an account that really scratches that itch inside of him. she looks like you. this solo pornstar he's found and he finds himself stalking each video you post. leaving a multitude of comments and feeling a rush of adrenaline when you respond to them. but then he starts to notice something - your walls look familiar. the posters you have on them, the paint color, and in fact so does what you're wearing. he realizes that the girl in the videos doesn't just look like you. she is you. immediately he's full of different thoughts and ideas. after he finally comes down from the realization (and also drains his balls to the copious amount of content he has for you) he makes a plan. 
he comes into your room one night, stifling through your stuff as you protest it. when he finds the camera hidden in your closet he turns around with that classic patrick smirk. "you planning on becoming a star?" he asks softly. you look at him confused but also concerned knowing nothing good happens when patrick gets that look. "a pornstar, i mean," he says with a grin. you can't even protest before he's shaking his head. coming closer and closer to you. "i know about your account. found it weeks ago. don't worry, i'm not gonna tell. didn't realize it was you at first but then i recognized the room. you know, that's the bad thing about not showing your pretty face. anyone could see it and fuck themselves to the videos. know i did."
he gets almost a sick satisfaction while telling you. watching the color drain out of your face. the way your breathing picks up. the look on your face as your mind can't decide if you're disgusted or turned on by his confession. he tells you that he wants to help you. so much so that he wants to star in your videos too. you'll get really popular then if your audience can watch you get your brains fucked out by some guy. he expects you to need a minute but you say yes almost immediately. your mouth dry from the anticipation and it's that night that you both film your first video. camera pointed down at you with your face barely out of camera while patrick fucks you from the back. hands gripping your hips rough enough to make bruises while he splits open your pussy and you babble out. its easy to pick out the titles when patrick runs his mouth the whole video - "mmm, yes, such a fucking slut wanna show the whole world how you take your stepbrothers cock? can't even keep it a secret." 
it only takes a month of uploading videos together for a company to reach out with an offer to provide better cameras and a paycheck. 
-☕
despite what you post youre a good girl, really. you were kind and sweet and got good grades all throughout school. you tried to make nice with your stepbrother even though he got under your skin all the fucking time, like that time he threw a party when your parents were out but wouldn't let you dance with robby dickenson. like, what the fuck? "he just wants you to suck his cock because his girlfriend wont".
"maybe im fine with that."
"im not."
and that was that. he always got his way. thats when it started, you're pretty sure. a sorta fuck you to patrick, and also a way to rebel in a way. your first video had been you deepthroating a didldo you'd bought. you didnt know what it would become, just that you loved every second of it. the camera filming you, the lewd act of filling your mouth for a bunch of people to fuck themselbes too. it felt wanton and dirty. it was empowering.
so your fear of patrick finding out wasn't that he'd found out, per say. you were more afraid of him taking this from you. you weren't shocked by his admission, but you were by how much it turned you on. you'd sunken alot further into the pits of depravity than you'd thought. good girls didnt fuck their stepbrothers. good girls didnt get dry in the mouth at the sight of his thick cock bobbing free. good girls didnt pull up their shirts because he'd asked them to, straddling your chest with the camera angled at your chest. "pull your tits out, show big brother those hot little nipples."
and you do, you show him, you show everyone who will be watching and you do it eagerly. you should snap at him not to call himself your big brother, but in reality the acknowledgement of what he was, of how bad you were being just made you all the more wet.
"you're not a good girl at all, are you," he asks, zooming in on the peaks of your nipples. reaches down to roughly palm one of the bouncy little tits in his hand. "always so tight lipped and quiet. you know my friend, art? he just thinks you're shy. wonder what he'd think if he knew you were shoving things up your pussy for old pervs onine to rub off to."
hes one of those pervs. but you dont say that. instead you push your chest out, bite your lip and look up at him with wide pleading eyes."no im good, big brother, i promise."
he spits out a quiet fuck under his breath. you cant stop eyeing the thick length of him between his thighs, dripping and hard and you want your mouth around him you dont care how wrong it is, you want him filling your throat and yanking your hair and calling you all sorts of names.
he makes you prove it. the camera doesnt spend long at all in his hand, eventually tossed shakily on your bed and you have to reach for it yourself, pull it close to your face as you're oushed and pulled and groped like a ragdoll, on your stomach as patrick palms at your ass.
"wanted to fuck you for so long."
"then do it."
there's alot of talk in the comments of the video when its posted, talk about the stepsibling talk being a nice little touch, some want to know if the man has an account of his own, videos of himself. they like the way he fucks you. hard and demeaning, slapping his hips off your ass with the force of his pounding cock in your cunt. they like the way he talks to you, "tight little fucking cunt,gonna fill it everyday. when i come home sweaty from practice you're gonna be a good little sister and spread your legs for me, let me at that pussy. gonna sneak in here every night, fuck you full of cum even if you're sleeping."
instant hit.
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Hi! I have a request, i hope it's not too specific or silly! How about an ace character that finds a fellow ace? Could be a villain that keeps flirting and when the hero tells them they don't want anything spicy villain is like 'Oh yeah no I'm ace too, just like teasing you :3'
Regardless of whether you answer or not, i hope you have a wonderful day!!
For better or for worse, the date they were on was rather pleasant.
It had been a trap the villain had prepared which was in retrospect a little bit too obvious. Their nemesis had lured the hero out of their messy apartment with a single note - a warning that quite a few hostages were waiting for them at one of the most expensive restaurants in town.
Without hesitation, the hero had rushed to the address but once the hero had opened the door, it was rather clear that no one was in danger. Instead, the hero got some judging looks from fancy folks when they had thrown open the door, panting.
The villain had looked rather amused when their gazes had met. It was the kind of embarrassment that burnt itself into the hero's brain. A memory that would pop up whenever they tried to fall asleep. It was so bad, in fact, that they considered turning on their heel and leave all together but the villain was too quick.
They raised a glass, their smile crooked.
And the hero felt obligated to walk up to them, now that curious looks were jumping from the hero to the villain.
"You could have told me to wear something nice," the hero hissed as they sat down.
"You look great in everything," the villain purred. Their eyes wandered up and down the hero. "Even in sweatpants."
"You flatter me."
"I'm stating a fact."
The hero took in a deep breath. Their heart was still banging against their rib cage violently. They lowered their voice.
"Why am I here?"
"Because you're gullible?" The villain swayed their wineglass in one hand.
"That's not what I mean."
"Because you're the city's sweet saviour who will always help the poor and innocent?" The hero didn't really know why the villain was toying with them like this. Clearly, there was an ulterior motive behind this. There always was.
Mostly, it was scheme after scheme with them. It was true that the hero was rather fond of them but they'd rather cut their arm off than admit that.
"You know I don't have much time on my hands," the hero said. "So whatever you want from me, make it quick."
For a moment, the villain didn't say anything and exactly that gave the hero enough time to truly look at them. Apparently, they had taken their sweet time to get ready for this date. The hero didn't know how to interpret that. Maybe it was the overall atmosphere of the restaurant or maybe the villain really cared about other's perception of them. The hero couldn't tell.
"I guess there is your answer. I thought it would be nice to spoil you a little," the villain said. "My little workaholic."
Oh, shit.
To say the hero started panicking internally was an understatement. They liked the villain, really liked them. Maybe even more than that.
And the villain seemed to have similar feelings for them.
The hero swallowed.
It had taken them quite a lot of bargaining, denial and a great deal of sadness to realise that they weren't interested in anything sexual. It had taken them a lot of time to come to terms with it. Back then, they had felt guilty for feeling the way they did. Often, they had wondered if there was something wrong with them. If it was just them who felt like this.
It was an almost obsessive fear of exclusion that had infiltrated their mind. It was exhauting to explain their own feelings over and over again and sometimes, they had even forced themselves to go beyond their boundaries.
On some nights, they had lain in bed awake, asking themselves if it was fair to be this way. To never be able to fully give back and love a partner that way. They had lost enough people they had been interested in romantically because of this. It was always the same stupid cycle. Always the same brainless questions that didn't help nor comfort them.
The hero was a different person now. They were much more confident but losing the villain that way wasn't only awkward, it was also a little heartbreak all over again.
"Listen..." the hero said. "I appreciate all of this. You're very sweet."
They dug their nails into their palms. Most people didn't understand. Most people said they were totally fine with it and still, they distanced themselves in the end. It used to make the hero angry but above all, it used to make them very sad.
"But, you know, I'm ace, so. Well, yeah, I...you probably know what that means but if you don't, uhm..."
Suddenly, something lit up behind the villain's eyes.
"Yeah?" The villain smiled. It wasn't a grin. It wasn't a smirk. It was a sweet, lovely smile.
"Huh?"
"You're ace?" they asked. Again, the hero swallowed. They looked down at the still empty dinner plate. It seemed like they had been in here for hours now, even though it had been mere minutes.
"...yeah."
"Me too," the villain said softly and the hero couldn't tell if this was some cruel joke or if this was a genuine gift from the universe. This meant no explaining, no stupid questions. No lost relationship, no arguments over this...For the first time in their life, they felt excited after coming out.
"What? Really? But the flirting and the-"
"I love messing with you, you know that," the villain said, winking. They took a sip of their wine. "And I meant what I said. You need to relax. You need someone to take care of you, even if that someone has to use some questionable methods to get you out of your apartment."
The hero stared at them, almost drunk on happiness.
"Thank you," the hero whispered.
"What a silly thing to say, darling," the villain responded.
Both would return to the restaurant several times after.
Hungry for more.
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woso-dreamzzz · 2 days
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Play, Sleep, Repeat
Arsenal Women x Teen!Reader
Summary: You're Katie's cousin
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Katie has never quite understood you.
You'd always been on the fringes of her awareness.
She has all her siblings. Her close family is big. Her extended family is even bigger.
You're her cousin, on her mother's side.
She'd never really kept up with your life. She'd see you at family reunions maybe once, twice a year and it would all be a quick conversation before she moved on.
She'd never been close enough to her uncle, your dad, to really know what was going on the two of your lives. All she really remembers was that his wife (your mother) had left him and he was a single dad.
It was surprising to see the Arsenal announcement photo with you smiling at the camera, a big Ireland flag draped over your shoulders.
It should have made her feel bad that you didn't drop a text to say you were signing but Katie didn't even know you played football until the announcement so she decided that she didn't really have room to have her feelings hurt over it.
She had hoped this would be the opportunity for you both to grow closer but, as she looks at you now, horsing down your lunch, she kind of thought that was a pipe dream.
You get up immediately after finishing, avoiding the table with the other younger players and heading back out onto the pitch.
It was like clockwork with you. You were either crashed out asleep in the break room, eating like you'd been starved or practicing for hours before or after training.
"What's up with your cousin, McCabe?" Leah asks, watching you leave as well," She never hangs around."
Katie shrugs. "I dunno. She's always been like that, I think."
"You think?"
"She's being raised by her Da. I guess she's never been around this many girls in her life."
"Surely she played on a girl's team before coming here."
Katie shrugs again.
"You don't know?"
"I've got a big family, Williamson. I hardly see her back home. Sue me for not stalking her every move."
Kim slides into the seat next to her. "I'm worried about her," She says," She's always here early and she stays late too. I've never seen her Dad pick her up."
"So what? She's a big girl."
Kim raises a brow. "I wasn't worried because she promised me that you've been dropping her off."
"What? She told me Kyra was doing that."
Kim sighs. "I got her address off Jonas. Do you and Caitlin mind popping by tonight? I'd do it myself but she might respond better to you."
Katie stands at your door a few hours after training has finished. She'd been waiting in her car for a while now, unable to believe her eyes when you'd stepped off the bus barely ten minutes ago still in your training kit.
Her hand hovers over the door, unmoving.
Caitlin nudges her to the side, pressing the doorbell.
"Hey," She says when you open it," Can we come in?"
Your eyes dart to the side. "Er..."
"Is your Da in? I need to talk to him."
"Da's busy," You say.
"That's okay. We can wait." Katie barges in and Caitlin follows her before you can stop them.
"How long will he be?" Caitlin asks and your eyes dart to the door.
"Well..."
"Have you had dinner yet?" Katie asks," 'Cause your fridge is bare."
"Stop it!" You say, pushing her out of your kitchen," Stop snooping!"
"Are these takeout boxes?"
"Katie, I mean it! Out!"
"Nah, where's your Da? Surely, he can't be letting you eat all this crap."
You mumble a response that Katie forces you to repeat. A response that gets regurgitated to every responsible adult on the team.
Your Da didn't come with you to England. In fact, your Da hadn't even be to one of your Arsenal matches.
"He'll come when I make it into the Ireland squad," You'd told Katie and Caitlin," He promised."
The team keeps a close eye on you. Your back prickles with awareness and every time you look behind you, someone is watching.
Things change as well, slowly but surely. It's enough to put you on edge.
It starts with Caitlin and Katie driving you to practice. You usually leave hours ahead of when training starts so you can get the bus and still have time to practice before it begins.
(Maybe if you have a bit extra training then Gleeson will have no choice but to call you up for the next international break).
You have no idea how long they've been camping in their car because you get up stupidly early.
They bundle you in with them. They grab breakfast at a quaint place in town before getting you to training on time.
Next comes Kim. She sits with you at lunch and talks to you enough that you finish the same time as everyone else.
Leah helps you with your kit.
Lia sits with you on the bus.
Lessi, Vic and Kyra splash you with water during the changeover at training.
Beth lets you nap against her and Viv makes sure you have a protein shake ready for you when you wake up.
Slowly but surely, you're folded into the team that is Arsenal. You existed on the fringes of life in London, focused on nothing but finally having your father support you in football.
Now though, you have the team to celebrate your goals with. You have Katie shaking you with joy when you score the last minute winner against Everton.
You also have the text from your Da nitpicking your every move in the match.
You feel lucky that he even kept the match on with how shit you were apparently making. A few months ago, you would have gone back to your own habits. A few months ago, you would have ran until your legs gave out.
But it's no longer a few months ago.
So, you just put your phone away and let Steph ruffle your hair on the way back to her seat.
You're actually part of the team now. A key part of the team if you go off how many times you've started a match.
A key part of the time if you go by how you seamlessly tackle Cuthbert and send the ball rolling straight to Caitlin to collect. You're about to stand up but Cuthbert can't stay on her feet and she stumbles, falling with a sickening crunch onto your ankle.
The scream you let out is guttural and you push her off you to grab at your ankle, as if touching it would suddenly make it feel better.
You slap the ground with your fist and scream again. Leah comes sliding in next to you, pinning your ankle to the ground with a firm hand.
"I know," She says," I know but we need to keep it still. Just stay still."
"Leah," You sob," It hurts!"
"I know," She repeats," The physios are coming straight on. Just keep it still."
Katie comes running to you next, tucking your face into her chest as you sob, shielding you from the fans.
Caitlin has taken her job at yelling at the ref, desperate to get some kind of compensation even if it was all a complete reaction.
"I...I..." You manage to get out through your tears," I don't think Gleeson's going to call me up for the break."
Lia, who had gently removed your cleat, laughs. "You don't need to focus on that right now." She peals your sock down. "But it's nice that you've still got your sense of humour."
You hiss as someone else touches your ankle.
"Hey!" Katie snaps," Careful with her!" She turns back to you. "Can you walk?"
"I don't even think I can stand up."
"You're going to be okay," She says as the stretcher is brought on," They'll fit you with a boot and you'll come back to mine."
You groan. "God, not your place."
"What's wrong with my mine?!"
"You can't cook! Can I go to Kim's instead?"
"I think I preferred it when we didn't talk."
You grin. "Didn't your Ma ever tell you lying's bad?"
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basilpaste · 1 day
Text
osis!swap. because i was thinking about lock.
(Under the tree is…)
(You're not sure what you're looking at, actually. It looks like a bunch of inanimate objects piled together.)
(It has a face. Or at least it has a mouth. The thing grimaces when you see it.)
〘"Hi."〙
(It talks! It can speak!)
("… Hi." You say back.)
〘"Welcome to your rebirth! This is your first loop!" Its porcelain darkless hands come up into the most pathetic jazz-hands you've ever seen.〙
(WH. HUH???? HOW DID THIS THING KNOW ABOUT-)
〘"Sorry!" It yelps, waving its hands nervously, "That's probably a spooky thing to hear from something you just met!"〙
(You sputter. "H-how do you know about how I-" You can't finish that.)
(It seems thoughtful for a moment. Looking at this stranger now, you notice that its head is almost shaped like a planet. There's a ring that wraps around it where its eyes would be.)
〘"How do I know you died?" It finishes for you.〙
(… You nod.)
〘"I saw it." It says quietly, regretfully, "It's my job to watch over you."〙
(Is this some sort of agent of the Universe? That doesn't make sense, though. A higher being watching over a person is… that's weird. Not how the Universe works. You think.)
("Why?")
〘"… You're looping through time. I'm here to act as a guide to you, Siffrin."〙
(You freeze. "HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME?")
〘"Er." It looks away, head bobbing slightly, "I know things about the loops, but I also know things about you. Like your name, your parties names, and other important things. Like… pronouns."〙
(You're not entirely sure if you'd put pronouns on the top of important things for a celestial body to know??? Also you're kind of freaking out.)
(Instead of freaking out more you find your voice. "Do you. Have pronouns?")
(… Good question, Siffrin. Great going.)
〘It laughs, bright and warm despite how quiet it seems. "Hah! Yeah. Yes, I have pronouns."〙
(…)
〘"It/its. If you don't mind." It sighs. "Like I said: I'm your guide. A something. Think of me as... a tool. A, uh, resource to use!"〙
(Well... at least if you know this one's pronouns, you can think about how out of place it seems. Like a swing taking a role it doesn't know. You nod.)
〘"Oh! Right, um. There's a lot of information that I'm gonna throw at you in a second!" It gestures at the space under the branches of the tree, "You might want to sit down?"〙
(That's. Probably a good idea? Your legs are shaky and your heart is racing so you should probably sit that might help.)
〘"Woah, buddy!" It exclaims, "Take a breath?"〙
(Hah! Yeah, yeah, you should do that! You were just thinking about the fact that your heart was racing. You should breathe. That might help! Probably!!!)
(In)
(And out.)
〘"Pheeeeeeeew." It breathes with you.〙
(... It kind of reminds you of someone. The way it holds itself.)
〘"So... the loops, huh?"〙
(You nod. "The loops.")
〘"Every time you die, you'll loop back in time. Like... what just happened. Until you break the loop."〙
(You squint at it, "Can't you just tell me how to do that?"
〘"Er..." It looks away from you, "No? I'm a resource, not an answer key. I'm here to help, but I don't really have all the answers. Sorry."〙
(Oh... thats disappointing. You guess you'll have to figure that part out on your own then??? The actual important part? Which is not being trapped in a death loop forever?)
(... Actually.)
(It's not all bad, is it? Being back means you have a chance to try again! To do better next time!!! You won't die like an idiot this time! You'll make your way to the King and then break the loops! No problem!)
〘"So I can't tell what you're thinking but I can sort of guess and I probably wouldn't think about things like that? If I were you? And obviously I'm not you, but I just wanted to, uh, give you that little nugget of wisdom."〙
(!!!)
(Weird! You're not sure how to read this guy at all! This guy... hm)
("Do you have a name?" You ask it.)
〘"... Do I need one?" It replies, tilting its body to the side. Its head follows a beat later.〙
(You think about your own name.)
("I can't just call you nothing, can I?")
〘"You can call me whatever you want! Your guide, your resource, cr-stars! You can even just call me annoying, haha!"〙
(It's weird, for sure, but you don't know if you'd call it annoying? Maybe it is, but you don't really have a super strong opinion yet? You can't tell if you like or hate this guy yet.)
(You shrug, "I guess? But give me something to call you. So I won't forget.")
(It hugs itself, mouth pressing into a thin line. Oh, stars. Did you already make it mad at you?)
〘"... You can call me Lock." It tells you finally, "Your tool for breaking the loops, Lock. Ironic, huh?"〙
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songmingisthighs · 1 day
Text
Oddeleny
introduction pt. i | pt. ii | pt. iii
<< previous | m.list | next >>
ch. xx - plan z
ghost!yeosang × reader
wc: 1.4 k
genre : ghost!au
rating, warning : mature; crude jokes and filthy language, mentions of attempted murder, depiction of trauma (described) fear, hitting
buy me coffee ?
a connection once had, broken with the expectation that the ending is final. but life has an odd proclivity of making attachments from detachments. in the end, we don't know what we lost until we look at what we have
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You could hear your heart pounding in your ears and the vibration was so prominent that you were sure that it was beating right against your skin.
You were never a fan of hospitals what with the two most traumatic experiences of your life happened at the hospital. The first one was when your grandfather was officially pronounced dead and your parents blamed you for your 'negligence'. You were a child, you thought your grandpa was napping, it was just a freak situation that had your parents been there too, they wouldn't have been able to foresee or avoid. The second one was when your parents dragged you by the collar of your uniform (literally) to apologize to Yeosang for almost killing him and seeing Yeosang avoiding your gaze, not even acknowledging you nor the fact that your father had you bowing to the floor so harshly that there was a bruise on your forehead. Not even your sobs and your apology which ultimately became the ammo they wield in their weapon to get you thrown out of school because it was a "confession". Coercion was never questioned and the fact that no one was backing you up because you were an outcast didn't help.
So now, back in the hospital with an unconscious Yeosang in front of you started stirring some anxiety back. You hesitated to make a move because Yeosang's unchanging look made you think that something bad was going to happen. As ridiculous as it was, you did think that your parents would suddenly barge in and throw you to the floor and force you to beg for forgiveness again.
"What are you doing?"
The voice from your phone almost gave you a heart attack but thankfully you recovered immediately. "What the hell is wrong with you?" you hissed as you brought your phone to your face and glared at Yeosang who was on the screen, "What did I tell you about suddenly showing your face like this? I almost shat myself you asshole." Yeosang cringed and shook his head, "Yeah, that's not something I need to know. Why are you just standing there?" you look between your screen and the body lying on the bed a couple of times before answering, "This is a lot freaky for me, okay? To be honest, until 2 minutes ago, I still believed that you were not in a coma and were just pranking me to extort something out of me." Thankfully, Yeosang was understanding to your predicament, only nodding and letting you take steps forward at your own pace until you stood next to his physical body.
"Okay, so how are we doing this?" you asked, "Do I just... Plug you in?" you looked around to see if there was any way you could... Transfer? Him? "Do you think this is like a data transfer?" he asked, unsure as well. "I don't know what this is like, it's not like your soul came with an instruction," you deadpanned and he rolled his eyes, "I'm equally stumped so let's not be snarky," you couldn't help but mock him because while he had a point, it was annoying.
Without thinking, you tried a bunch of stuff from putting the phone in his hand to pressing the phone on his forehead, both the front and back. This made Yeosang sigh loudly, "Do you think I'm Bluetooth transferable or NFT readable or something?" he sounded exasperated you couldn't blame him because his body was just there and he was so close to returning but you were trying your best. "Hey, at least I'm trying here. I'm risking A LOT to be here and it's not like you're giving out ideas on what to do!" you exclaimed angrily. Yeosang opened his mouth to answer but you held a hand up, "No, you listen to me first. I'm doing this out of the kindness of my own heart and you're just pressuring me to try and try and try and I am trying and I'm so pissed at you for only bitching and not doing anything to help either of us in this situation!" "I would help if I could but my movements and reach are VERY restricted! I'm scared, okay? I can see the way I'm just right there and it looks like I'm just sleeping but I'm not! My soul is stuck in a tin can like sardines!" he fought back.
Although you wanted to respond, something he said struck you and an idea popped up.
You slapped Yeosang's physical body and the Yeosang that was in your monitor reeled from the impact.
"Hey!" he exclaimed and he was about to angrily tell you off when he realized that he felt something. "Oh my God, what did you do?" he asked, now amazed. So you tried again, this time slapping him from the other side and he responded accordingly, reeling to the other side.
"Can you feel that?" you asked, amazed at the reaction. When Yeosang nodded, you hit him again and this time his physical body stirred at the same time your screen started glitching. "Yes!" you exclaimed loudly.
Your phone became even more glitchy despite you not hitting Yeosang's physical body but for a moment, you truly believed that he was about to wake up. "One more! (y/n), one more!" Yeosang's voice boomed from your phone and despite the cracking and delay, you could hear what he said.
So you did as told.
Hoping that this was it, you slapped Yeosang's physical body again and this time, you saw his eyes fluttered open slowly.
For the first time in almost one and a half decades, you were looking into the eyes of someone who you used to care for a lot. You had once thought that seeing Yeosang again would be painful, that you would hate it and that you would probably want to run away from it. But no, all you felt was glad and you couldn't help but crack a smile the same time Yeosang almost too.
But, your feeling was right.
All of a sudden, the door barged open and you were suddenly yanked back while someone, in a flash, headed over to Yeosang's side to reach over to the buttons above his head and pressed something that made an alarm ring. You looked up to see a face that cursed you at your last meeting and in fear, you turned to look at Yeosang. Your heart sank when you saw that his eyes were back to being closed as if he hadn't just opened his eyes merely seconds ago.
The chaos that erupted caused your ears to ring because all you could think about was how you came so close to getting Yeosang back only for it to fail so miserably.
You didn't even know what happened until you were grabbed by the shoulders and shook violently.
"Was the first attempt not enough for you?"
It was confusing. It took a moment for you to focus but when you did you were met with the face of the other person who cursed you at your last meeting.
Yeosang's mom was hitting you as his dad handed you over to a nurse who immediately escorted you out.
"I- I was-" you tried defending yourself but his mom kept following and hitting you, "I saw you! I saw you hit him! You wanted to kill him because you failed last time, you wretched girl! How can you live with yourself? How can you do this to someone innocent?"She cried, screamed, really which then became an announcement to the whole VIP coma ward, allowing people who were in the hallway to stare and whisper while the people in the other rooms who got curious stepped out to see the commotion.
Noises mingling together between Yeosang's mom's screams of hurtful accusation at you, his dad who was trying to get her to go see if their son was okay, Yunho and Jongho who did their to shield you from the impact while telling Yeosang's mom to back off, and Hongjoong who clawed the nurse off of you so he could cover you instead.
Your head was buzzing and there were pins and needles prickling your fingertips. So you closed your eyes and let your friends take you away, you let them lead you to wherever you needed to go because, at that moment, you were not the you that had grown. At that moment, you were the 12-year-old middle school student who got accused of attempted murder.
And it was terrifying.
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shatcey · 2 days
Text
I've become an animal (Ellis)
Ellis Elbert
I'm not a native speaker of either English or Japanese. So there may most likely be errors in my translations. I use autotranslation and rewrite the text to a readable state. Some phrases are not clear to begin with, and I use my gut feeling and some experience of reading such poorly translated texts that have taught me to see meaning in them. My summaries are always full of my comments and jokes. If you prefer a clean translation, then you definitely won't like it.
Hmmm… Not bad. I have to put that on my main page.
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Where were many onomatopoeic sounds that varied greatly in shape and duration depending on what Kate was "saying", I will stick to the original as much as possible. I haven't used it here often, but I'm warning you just in case.
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Kate woke up and realized that something was wrong. She looked in the mirror, slowly processing what she saw.
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She remembered how the day before they went on a date with Ellis and she saw a black cat.
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Ellis immediately asked if she interested, and she replied that she wanted to pet her and was worried if she was hungry.
Don't worry, girl, Alfons feeds them… She's fine.
So… back to the present.
She finally accepts the fact that she is a kitten and runs to Ellis. But she stopped worriedly in front of his door not knowing what to do.
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Suddenly the door opens and Ellis kicks the poor kid. Ouch! He immediately apologizes and notices that she seems to be in pain.
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I do not think so… But I have no choice but to agree when you smile like that…
Roger examined her and found only a bruise, but put a bandage on just in case… And recommended complete rest. As Ellis likes, she is completely under his care. But suddenly Roger heard something...
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NO! Don't leave me with him...
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Thank you, thank you, thank you... I'll kiss you later.
Jude is clearly not happy with this addition to their team.
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Initially, it was an even more colorful description, but I didn't figure out how to make it sound normal. So I shortened it to this.
I can almost hear him saying: "What is… THAT?" pointing an accusing finger at the cat. Hah…
Jude listens to Ellis's explanation and gives them time to eat. So Ellis feeds the cat milk, puts it in his pocket, and they all go to work. I wonder which pocket? I only see them on his pants… no… I don't wanna think about it… Damn it! I cannot stop thinking about it!
This was another person who decided that he might NOT return the money to Jude in time. Why are they so stupid? They know about his reputation, but they keep doing it…
As usual, Ellis and Jude are playing good and bad cops. But… suddenly, the nobleman noticed the kitten and was very scared. He's allergic. So in order to save his life (or pride), he immediately returns the money.
Outside, Jude is thinking out loud, looking at the cat.
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I'm sure he figured out… He's too smart not to notice…
And after that, he gives Ellis the day off, and they return to the castle. Ellis went all over the rooms and couldn't find Kate anywhere. He became restless, so Kate, in the form of a cat, tried to calm him down by asking him to pet her. Ellis remarks that she behaves exactly like Kate.
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Premium ending
Somewhere on the way home, Ellis bought everything he needed to take care of the cat. And decided to comb her fur, of course, for Kate's sake.
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They're both having a great time. But Kate suddenly thinks about what would happen to Ellis if "she" continued to be missing, and somehow… she kisses him…
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Ellis is in complete shock
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He recovered from the shock and gave her his jacket. He remembered all the awkward details of what she had been doing all day… And suddenly Roger knocked on the door, saving her.
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But Ellis wouldn't let him. When Kate asked him why. He said he didn't want Roger examined her entire body… So the fact that she turns into a cat and back should remain a secret between them.
And after that, Ellis starts checking if Kate is human by kissing her…
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So...
I didn't buy the epilogue. I'm already a little burned out of Ellis (I'm so fickle). I'll probably buy Elbert's epilogue though. His event made a greater impression on me. NOT because of Alfons! Okay, partly because of Alfons. But the event is really interesting for a completely different reason.
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🔝 Start page 🔝
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