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#i do think it was a one off though because i just checked their twitter again to test my reaction and my eye did twitch but that was it
klanced · 1 year
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okay so like i largely consider myself removed from the historical voltron discourse (idc and idgaf anymore) but the other day someone i follow on twitter innocuously retweeted something, i don’t quite remember, and at first i just listlessly scrolled by the tweet. but then the part of my hindbrain governed by pure animal instinct sat up and started SCREAMING at me. so i paused and squinted at the icon and username of the person, and like. you have to understand. it took a second, but when the pattern recognition kicked in and i recognized the person? i sincerely saw red for a moment. i got so angry i genuinely felt my body temperature start to rise. i’ve always tried my best to be a hater but that was like. Hate.
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dimonds456 · 1 year
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hey tumblr, thanks for recommending me a TERF post "based on my likes." I hope the hour I spent blocking as many people as I could bear in the notes is enough of a hint for you.
#i've seen some shit this morning y'all#like it was one of those posts that i initially agreed with but then alarm bells went off in my head at some of the phrasing#the post was about how 2-year-olds and 3-year-olds don't have a concept of gender yet because they're too little#followed by 'amazing it's almost like telling kids what boys and girls are will help them understand'#so i checked the notes and it was rampant with terfs#the main post was never tagged as anything though someone just posted a twitter screenshot#i need to find the terf tags post thing cuz i didnt have time to block before but i guess i do now#now i'm paranoid about how much of my stuff has been this shit and i never realized#anyway be careful guys it's fucking BAD out here#dimond speaks#tw transphobia#tw transphobes#and like i agree- 2 and 3 are too young for this stuff since the gender binary is so fucking strong#of course girls can play with dinosaurs if they want that doesn't make them boys#but kinds will understand that the more experience and knowledge they gain of the world around them#they barely know they're sentient yet of course they're gonna get confused#but once they DO get a better handle on what gender is then some of them are gonna realize that being a boy was the right answer all along#you cannot make that judgement for them#and also like no harm no fowl if they DO think they're trans for a while? like what's wrong with that??#this shit is complex as fuck and i do not expect a 3-year-old to get it okay?#took me til i was about 15 to even know trans people existed at all and a couple more months to realize i was one too#and i'm fucking dumb like i'm not a good metric to go off of#but even if 3-year-olds aren't going to understand that's where you as the parent have to help them understand it#but little by little#like as teenagers and adults we can just look something up and tada! there's the answer!#kids can't do that yet they DO need parents to help them#those parents just also have to be aware of how they're teaching their kids#there's a difference between 'girls like pink and boys like blue' and 'and your age it literally doesn't matter but girls like she/her'#and that was a terrible example but i'm not a parent so#you figure it out
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lemonlover1110 · 4 months
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𝐀 𝐃𝐎𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐇𝐔𝐒𝐁𝐀𝐍𝐃
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Pairing: Trueform!Sukuna x f!Reader
Summary: Your husband usually calls for you to join him during his bath.
Warnings: MDNI, mentions of Sukuna killing people, rough pregnancy, Sukuna being fluffy (so slightly ooc), reader is mean to Sukuna
Discord +18 - Twitter - Ko-Fi
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Ever since you shared the news of your pregnancy with your husband, Sukuna has become more loving. The man who’d talk to you however he wanted, now makes sure to soften his voice when talking to you. He wants to see you every hour of the day, even when you don’t want to see him. Sukuna is seeing how you’re struggling with your pregnancy, and he wants to check up on you constantly.
You’re not too far along that you both know of, yet you’re huge. He grows worried that his selfish want of a child will cause you harm. There’s one person that Sukuna would die for, and it’s you. If something were to happen to you because of himself then he’d– He doesn’t want to think of it.
Lately he’s been asking to take baths with you. At the end of the day, a servant walks into your chambers and informs you, “Lord Sukuna requests for you to join him in his bath, mistress.”
She bows her head to not look at you, scared that she’ll end up like the last servant that dared to look you in the eye. It was Sukuna’s doing because how dare someone look his wife in the eye? You sigh before telling her, “I’ll be there in a second.” 
She stands in the entrance of your room, given orders to not leave without you. Sure, Sukuna requests to see you but it’s an order from him. You don’t have much of an option. 
You follow behind her, and she excuses herself when you’re finally with him. Sukuna lays comfortably in the water, patiently waiting for you to get undressed and join him in the water. He watches as you take off all your garments and walk over to him when you’re completely bare. 
“You need to start leaving me alone, you’re starting to annoy me.” You tell him as you get in the water. Sukuna chuckles, finding it amusing how you’ve completely stopped fearing him. One of his hands caresses you from your breasts to your bump, resting there.
“Now, why are you getting mad at me? I thought you wanted a loving husband?” Sukuna comments, kissing the top of your head. Your hand rests on top of his, lightly squeezing it.
“I wanted one before he got me pregnant. I swear I must be carrying twins– Or the baby also has four arms. I don’t know, I’m just miserable.” You confess, and Sukuna kisses the top of your head again. He really shouldn’t have expected it to be any different. Sukuna’s huge, why would his baby be any different?
“It’s just one and done then?” He asks, and you hum in response. Maybe your answer will be different in a few years, but for now it’s that. He feels a tug on his heartstrings, seeing how much you’re struggling. He’s worried. “Are you holding up okay, though?”
“Not like we could do anything if I wasn’t.” You answer. He’s definitely much softer than your usual husband, and you would’ve loved it if you weren’t carrying a monster child. His hand remains on your stomach, and he feels as his baby kicks while you moan in pain. Sukuna shushes you, feeling as his baby moves.
“I’m trying to feel him! Shut up, woman!” He raises his voice, and you slightly turn to glare at him. A look that would surely kill you if you were anyone else.
“How does me making noise correlate with you feeling the baby! Think, Sukuna! Use your fucking brain.” You’re definitely bolder than usual, which makes him laugh. 
“You’re so beautiful when you’re yelling at me.” He says, grabbing your hand and bringing it up to his lips so he can kiss it. “I love seeing you demanding and mean. It shows the effect I have on you.”
“Really?” You answer, and he hums in response. There’s no better time to bring up what’s been bugging you than now. “I hate that new servant you took in. Kick her out.”
“And why is that?” He asks. 
“She was looking at you funny.” You respond.
“In the sense?”
“She has the hots for you, and I don’t like it.”
“Hmm… What if I was looking for–” He begins and you glare at him. He doesn’t have much of a sense of humor, but he guesses that’s something that’s off limits when he tries to joke. “Don’t you want me to do more?”
“Like what?” You question, even though you should know your husband better than anyone.
“Kill her.” He answers. 
“Hmm… Up to you.” You reply. You lay comfortably on his chest, feeling as his finger traces lazy circles on your belly. You change the topic, “Why do you think it’s a boy?”
“I can’t see myself with a daughter.”
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steddiealltheway · 1 year
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Thinking about Steve who has not a single idea about how social media works, but he downloads a few things like Instagram and Twitter only to check in on the kids. Other than that, he has zero knowledge of pop culture and kind of lives in that blissful bubble. Every once in a while, the kids will get a bit exasperated with him, but he enjoys listening to them explain things - and he knows they secretly love being able to rehash all the gossip.
And honestly, being out of the loop has it’s perks. Especially when he’s on a plane to Los Angeles, California to visit the Byers while they’re there for a concert and to do some sightseeing in the meantime. He’s sat next to someone who sits by the window seat but wears a baseball cap and sunglasses, curly hair tied back in a ponytail. He seems strangely on edge - maybe suffering from a hangover or scared of flying.
Steve can’t help but tap him on the arm. When the stranger turns, he has his mouth in a flat line looking strangely done with the conversation before it’s even begun. “Sorry, I was just going to ask if you’re okay,” Steve says.
The man frowns and tilts his head. He hesitates to reply, “Yes, I’m just… a bit on edge.”
“Tell me about it. This is my first time on a plane.”
The stranger’s mouth twitches. “Is it really?”
“Yeah. What about you?” Steve asks.
“I’ve been on hundreds of planes - would rather be on the road though,” the stranger says reaching up to grab at the end of his ponytail and twirl it around his finger.
Steve smiles and replies, “I get that. I’m Steve by the way.” He holds his hand out to the stranger who eyes it wearily.
“Eddie,” he replies quietly and shakes his hand.
Steve gets distracted by the rings on his hands and finds himself asking about them. The stranger looks at him for a moment, and, even with the sunglasses on, Steve can tell Eddie is strangely taken aback. Steve is about to take it back and apologize for… mentioning the rings? But Eddie points to the first one and explains.
The rest of the plane ride goes well, amazingly well even. Steve finds himself chatting away with Eddie and throughly enjoying his company - especially when he holds his hand while the plane takes off. He especially enjoys the moment when Eddie briefly takes his sunglasses out to look at the clouds, and Steve gets to see his beautiful brown eyes.
A range of emotions pass through those eyes before Eddie puts the sunglasses back on. Steve almost asks him to keep them off - entranced by the way they express everything he’s thinking. But that can be a dangerous thing, so he doesn’t press him about it.
When the captain announces that they’re about to land, Steve is truly upset to think about not getting the chance to see Eddie again. Maybe it’s the fact that Steve has taken a risk and finally left Indiana for once or maybe Eddie’s just one of the first people he’s hit it off with in a long time, but Steve asks, “Do you want to get coffee? After we land.”
Eddie’s tongue rests on his top lip, tracing it back and forth as he considers it. He finally responds, “I would love to, but I have an appointment as soon as we land.”
Steve lets the disappointment settle in him but tries his best not to let it show. “It’s alright.”
But Eddie fidgets with his rings, tongue still resting on his top lip as he debates something. “Do you have an Instagram?” He asks.
Steve laughs bashfully. “I do, but I never use it. Well, I do sometimes just to keep track of some kids I used to babysit honestly, like Dustin who I told you about.”
Eddie’s smile turns into a full blown grin. “Of course. Well, do you mind if I get your Instagram so I can message you with when I’m free? I would give you my number but… I’m afraid of it getting out. Not that you would do that but… people listening and whatnot…” Eddie spins his rings so anxiously fast that it makes Steve nearly laugh.
“Yes, I hope I remember it correctly because I didn’t come up with it,” Steve confesses. Eddie passes him his phone with the notes app open. He types in steve.the.hair.harrington and hands the phone back.
Eddie takes it back and laughs as he reads it. “It’s fitting,” he explains and reaches out to mess with a few strands.
“I try my best,” Steve replies with a shrug, wondering how he can get Eddie to touch his hair again.
“My hair stylist would love you,” Eddie says then freezes.
Steve smiles. “You have a hair stylist?”
Eddie struggles to respond but is given an out as the plane finally lands. He’s immediately reaching out to grab Steve’s hand, and he forgets all about the question.
Eddie doesn’t let go until people start making their way off the plane, using his hand to tilt his baseball cap a little lower and tuck in on himself. It’s as if he’s trying to avoid having someone see him, but Steve doesn’t want to pry so he doesn’t ask.
Eddie follows Steve off the plane and glances around once they get to the terminal. Then, he quickly pulls him into a hug and whispers, “Thank you for a normal flight.”
Steve has no idea what he means by that, but he just squeezes him back tighter. Eddie pulls away and lingers in his arms. Steve wants more than anything to take off his sunglasses and look into his eyes again.
There’s a sound of a camera going off that has Eddie jumping away and putting his hands in his pockets. “Think we’re near someone famous?” Steve jokes.
“Oh, I know we are,” Eddie says with a small smile that makes it seem like he knows something that Steve doesn’t. Before he can ask, Eddie is saying, “I hope I’ll see you again. Goodbye, Steve.” And with that he’s rushing off, pulling his baseball cap a little lower and directing his gaze towards the ground.
He’s strange, but Steve likes him.
The rest of his day, he has a spring in his step. And by the time he gets to his hotel, he collapses on his bed with a sigh of relief. He pulls out his phone and checks for any notifications before he realizes his phone has been on airplane mode. He turns it off and waits for a message from Robin or Dustin to appear on his screen.
Instead, he’s bombarded with notification after notification - including 27 missed calls from Dustin. He calls him immediately.
The phone rings for not even a second before Dustin is answering with a scream of, “Steve Harrington, why have you not answered your phone?!”
“I’ve been sightseeing. Is everything okay?”
“Check the photos I sent you!”
Steve rushes to his messages, finding them filled with people he hasn’t heard from in years. He ignores that and goes to his pinned messages with Dustin. He clicks on the first picture he sees.
It’s a poor quality photo of him and Eddie hugging in the terminal. He swipes to find a photo of him and Eddie holding hands on the plane. Then another one of him lingering in Eddie’s arm looking… very smitten. “Dustin where did you get these?” Steve asks swiping and even coming across a video of them talking on the plane, with Steve laughing as Eddie dramatically tells some sort of tale.
“Better question, how did this even happen Steve? Why didn’t you tell me?!”
Steve is thoroughly confused. “Dustin, I just met Eddie today. But seriously, how did you get these?”
There’s a pause on the other line and a breathed out, “Oh my god.” He can hear Dustin take a deep breath before he asks, “Steve, please tell me that you know who Eddie Munson is.”
“His last name is Munson?”
There’s a muffled scream on the other line before Dustin is launching into a speech about how Eddie is one of the most famous up and coming artists right now. And yeah Corroded Coffins does sound familiar, but it doesn’t click until Dustin explains that’s who Steve and the Byers are going to see in concert.
Oh.
Steve thinks back and everything clicks - especially the number of people who were staring at him and trying to sneak photos while he was out. He scrolls to a screenshot of a Twitter post with the caption, “did anyone else know that eddie munson has a boyfriend???”
Steve’s eyes widen. “Dustin, how many people think we’re dating?”
“The entire internet so basically the whole world,” Dustin says, and Steve doesn’t have time to even process that statement before Dustin is yelling, “Oh my god!”
“What?”
“Eddie Munson just liked a photo I was tagged in! Holy shit, he’s seen my face!”
“Yeah, dude, I told him all about you on the plane,” Steve says. And boy, that probably will not help with the kid’s ego.
Steve opens his Instagram, ignoring Dustin’s little screams on the other line, and takes in the sheer number of notifications. He quickly goes to his requests in his messages and finds one from therealeddiemunson. “Hey, Dustin, what does a blue checkmark mean?”
Dustin groans on the other line asking why it was Steve who got to meet him before finally explaining it. Steve accepts the request and stares at the message hey, you still on for that coffee?
Steve clicks on Eddie’s profile and his heart thuds. He’s pretty sure people aren’t supposed to have a “K” in their follower count. He looks at the recent photos and feels himself turn a bit red. He almost has no clue how the Eddie he met on the plane and Eddie Munson are the same guy.
“Dustin, if I turned down Eddie Munson for coffee would you ever be able to forgive me?”
“Don’t you fucking dare, or I swear to god I will never let my mom bake anything for you again.”
Steve laughs and with that he goes back to the messages and sends Absolutely :)
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yandere-kokeshi · 1 month
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Which cod boys would tattoo your name on their dick and why it's soap?
Warnings: details of penis tattoos, genital piercings, smut, and not Grammer checked.
Honestly, I think all the boys would do it (even Gaz), but the top cod boys that come up, are below the read more. Also, it's so odd that I was working on a similar fic when you sent this in 😲😂😂.
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For Soap, you’re absolutely right. He’d do it out of ownership, jealousy, and realization that he just cannot live without you. He expects you to get tattooed the same; he wouldn’t mind doing it himself, forcing you down and making you squirm isn’t the first time, no? Oh, and Johnny would most definitely get a genital piercing, too. Maybe a prince Albert or magic cross. Either way, he ensures you appreciate it. And you do, right?
Nikolai would 100% jump the train. He’s a freak, inside and outside his thick skin. And it’s not like he already did it since day one of meeting you. He already has a few cock piercings too; a reverse prince albert and two frenums down his length. However, you don’t even know the thick ink till you go down for a blowjob, his erect cock standing as you look at the detailed name of yours; watching how his cum dribbles down his length, before he eagerly pushes your mouth down and let's you finish him off how you know. It’s only a matter of time, before he really begins to fuck you, right?
Alejandro is a romantic at heart. So it’s no surprise he keeps coming home with rather... expressive ideas of love; and when you, or him, get into a conversation of tattoos, oh boy, is it over. Alejandro gets it done and confidently shows it off, awaiting your reaction; chuckling at your surprised state. Though, he doesn’t keep you waiting, getting down on his knees and beginning to suck your cock/eat you out while the healing process begins. And then, when the healing is all done, he can finally fuck you and show you just how much you mean to him.
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Lastly, König would do it simply because you mentioned it. Doesn’t matter where; could’ve been through a comment with Instagram you laughed at or rolled your eyes at the tweet of Twitter. Hell, even a playful tease, but as soon as you mention it, he’s getting it done and coming home with big ol' gray eyes, wanting you to relish the pretty ink. And you do, because that’s what an amazing spouse does, right? He can’t wait to let him fuck your throat, or your hole so tight that he will do so many creampies that both of you will collapse. But, he has his mouth, silicon toys, and thick fingers to please his fantasy, yeah?
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nyaagolor · 5 months
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How do you rank the prosecutors on order of homophobia
forgot about this in my drafts for literally months oops. Anyway. Finished now!!!!
So I made this post a while ago that has some of the prosecutors and antagonists, but if you want a ranking of EVERY prosecutor (not including DGS bc i haven't finished yet) huzzah!!
Simon Blackquill: Not actually homophobic but he gets points docked for siccing Taka (known homophobe) at Klavier (known bisexual) for stealing his pretzels from the office pantry that one time. 3/10
Blaise Debeste: I think he's gay but he made me look at that ugly ass beard for far too long and I consider that disrespectful. out of principle? 8/10
Sebastian Debeste: Just look at him. 0/10
Miles Edgeworth: Bratworth was simultaneously gay, homophobic, and a misogynist, and eventually develops into a man who is only like 1.5 of those things. he's getting better. 5/10
Byrne Faraday: I don't really think he cares much about gay people he's busy being a single father and stealing shit. For the apathy? 2/10
Klavier Gavin: He's extremely gay and does a lot of work for the gay community but making Ema Skye deal with him is explicitly lesbophobic so 4/10
Godot: He has a lovely wife but whatever he was doing with Ron DeLite was probably not osha-compliant. I don't know what that means for his sexuality or stance on gay people and neither does he. ?/10
Ga'ran: I think she has a lot of other problems she should deal with first but considered she's bigoted to defense attorneys I don't think her being homophobic would be that out of pocket. Not sure I want to find out. 7/10
Neil Marshall: Have you ever been a gay bar? This guy would do NUMBERS. Also, real cowboys support gay rights. 0/10
Gaspen Payne: Being homophobic is actually why he got fired by the prosecutor's office and Winston is really fucking embarrassed about it. 10/10
Winston Payne: You'd think he'd be homophobic but you can't work for the Japanifornia Prosecutor's Office and hate gay people or you would actually go insane. He's like that one suburban guy who uses terms from the 60s but has the spirit. However, his ally lapel pin is really ugly so 3/10
Jaques Portman: He was calling Edgeworth slurs even before realizing he was gay. 9/10
Lana Skye: Dated Mia in college but refused to explain that to Ema because she has a lot of internalized homophobia and other weird issues of self. Repressed yuri personified. 1/10
Nahyuta Sahdmadhi: He supports gay people but gets all his talking points from the internet so even though he's supportive he's also incredibly fucking annoying about it and no one wants to invite him to brunch because of it. Stop using twitter for fact-checking you jackass. 2/10
Franziska Von Karma: Despite the fact that her lesbianism is so strong it borders on misandry, I think she has a lot of internalized homophobia so she spends the first 25 years of her life being a judgmental little shit. She'll get better dw about it. I believe she can bring that number down with time. 6/10
Manfred Von Karma: I think when he finds out Edgeworth is gay he starts going to gay bars and picking up dudes just to show Edgeworth he has way more rizz than him. Considering how people in my notes have told me on numerous occasions how much they want him carnally, I think he could actually pull it off. In that respect I think he's done a lot for the gay community. It ends up cancelling out somewhat because I think he'd be kind of an ass about it. 4/10
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drxxmingofblue · 1 year
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hand in unrebloggable hand (because we always go down together)
TUMBLR X TWITTER FANFIC 5K ANGST WITH A HOPEFUL ENDING
besties im not joking abt the word count i fucking ✨wish✨I ✨was though✨✨✨✨
also if you were hoping for twitblr to be the endgame ship then this fic is not for you sowwy >.<
based off of @zzoupz awesome fanart and dedicated to all the other cool fanart it unfortunately begat. Thanks babygirls. Squees. Thanks also to my discord friendz who are letting me pretend they're making me do this at gunpoint @loki-the-mad @suspicious-whumping-egg u da best
(edit) owo what's this?? An Ao3 link??
QUICK PSA THESE CHARAS ARE T4T OKAY HAVE FUN READING BAIIII *GLOMPS U*
~~~~~~~~
When Twitter stepped back into Tumblr’s yard, he noticed right away that things were different.
The house was bigger, there was some more color and it was less slapped-together looking. Sure, there were still some invasive tendrils of spambot ivy overgrowing the path, but a lot of the other stuff seemed a little… better.
When they knocked on the door, it opened almost right away, far before they felt ready, and he were face to face abruptly with someone he thought they’d cut all ties with.
Tumblr was humming to themselves along with the background music, “-out of touch, I’m out of ti-- oh. It’s you.”
He seemed surprised, awkward, but Twitter didn’t sense any animosity, which was a relief.
“Hiii,” Twitter said weakly, with a sheepish grin, “it’s me.”
Tumblr glanced around, as if checking for someone else to explain this to him, or hidden cameras from a reality show at least. Then he stepped out, closed the door behind him, and leaned against it, crossing his arms. “Is there something… what do you want?” he asked, expression settling into something distant and cool.
“Well…” Twitter took a deep breath, and then shook their head, forcing a brighter tone, and gesturing to Tumblr’s shiny silver barrette “--Um, hey, you look great! Is that a new icon?”
“... yes,” Tumblr said slowly. “I’m… trying out some different looks.”
“It’s great, yeah. And this place looks… amazing. Glad to see you’re moving up in the world. You must be excited with all the press, congrats!”
Tumblr didn’t say anything, giving them a neutral stare.
Twitter shifted, “Uhh… anyway… new adblocker?”
“No, same one. I’m just using it on Firefox now.” Tumblr gave them another suspicious eye, “Look, if you’re just here to catch up then can this wait until later? Because I'm pretty crunched for time right now with my weekly holidays thing and the campaign to get this one random user their 666k so they'll do self care."
"You know that's.. uhm, you know that's just for attention, right?" Twitter's brows knit, "They're probably not gonna follow through."
"Perhaps, and a lot of us want them to not be lying for internet points but it's not just about that anymore. It's about the community bonding over pettily slam dunking on a hapless chump who's gotta pretend now like they don't actually like all the notes. You wouldn't get it, it's a tumblr thi-" 
"Yeah, it's a tumblr thing, I know," Twitter gave a longsuffering sigh, "Ugh, i just... I need a place to stay, okay? And you’re the first site I could think of.”
“A place to stay,” Tumblr repeated flatly.
Twitter huffed. “Yeah. I’m sure you’ve heard about what’s going on right now at my palace..”
Tumblr’s eyes slanted off, his lips quirking in a way that looked suspiciously like amusement. “Heard about it. Read about it. Partied about it.”
Twitter ignored the sting of that, forging ahead. “I’ve never seen it so bad,” they said, voice wobbling piteously as they clutched their suitcase full of memes. “Everything’s in chaos, people are losing their jobs. I went into the basement yesterday to grab some badly aging tweets and the very foundations are cracking, Tumblr, I can’t stay there anymore, I just can’t.”
“So you come crawling back to me,” Tumblr said, “Expecting me to take you with open arms.”
“Yes. I do,” Twitter said, “I know a part of your userbase still wants to welcome me in. You were always sh*t at hiding your true feelings.”
Tumblr’s hand fluttered over his heart as if to protect it; he winced a little, taking a breath to keep his facade of composure. “So now- what, you want me to start dealing with your bullshit again just because you remembered how much better my posting format is? Just because you noticed how my reputation is changing? Did you think I’d be so desperate to fill the void now that Dracula Daily’s done? Or maybe,” 
Tumblr leaned closer to lord his height difference trope over Twitter, his eyes hooded with disparaging condescension, “Maybe you’re just here because you heard I’m finally allowed to take my shirt off again, is that it?”
“N-no!” Twitter protested, flushing up.
“Oh, i think it is,” Tumblr drawled, “But that’s really just too bad because in case you haven’t got the memo yet, I’ve moved on. You are not welcomed here. Not anymore.”
(link to art here) go look at it then come back
(AN: i had to google how to embed links into text and google was all like, "do you mean 'how do you put links INTO text' you moron idiot???" ugh don't like that wise guy)
“You don’t really mean that,” Twitter said, “Besides, you can’t stop me, can you? The sign up button is right there.” They pointed at the front door.
“No, I can’t,” Tumblr said, “But that doesn’t mean we won’t be able to clock you as twits by your censoring and bad takes. Look, your aura is already causing ripples in the sphere. Everyone’s coming out to gawk at you.”
He gestured out in the general direction of the porch and yard, and indeed there were users from every tag going 👀at them, murmuring amongst themselves in a swirling, chaotic crowd.
“Oh my god is it real this time? Is it happening?”
“GET THEM OUT GET THEM OUT STAY AWAY DEAR GOD NO-”
“Okay, everyone, stay calm, stay fucking calm-”
“Why are we focusing on this, it’s literally election day go out and vote???”
“Listenup, guys, we gotta be smart about this, remember the block button is your friend-”
“I for one welcome them, I think this is great-”
“No you idiot they’ll bring the negativity back! We like it to be a post apocalyptic wasteland here, nature was just starting to regrow!! I don’t wanna watch Thomas Sanders get cancelled again!”
“FIRE OFF SOME SHOTS, PRESERVE THE PROPERTY VALUE”
“mISHAPOCALYPSE 2022 ELECTRIC BOOGALOO”
"Has anyone asked Neil Gaiman what he thinks about all this?" one of the many voices yelled, louder.
"Oh, he's probably got a thousand asks about it already," someone yelled back, "Which he's not going to answer because he doesn't have any social media you fucking idiot,"
"That is correct. He doesn't," said Neil Gaiman. 
The whiplash was still euphoric. Everyone applauded this as enthusiastically as when the bit had first been established, not realizing that the pedestal upon which Neil Gaiman has been placed is growing higher and higher each day by their actions, putting him at increased risk of being a victim of cancel culture the second he says something the terfs can really rake their fingernails against if we can't get our parasocial relationship bullshit together real fuckin quick. 
The Monterey bay aquarium passed on by. It seemed to have nothing to add, you could say it was clammed up tight. But since it's a professional account it's definitely b-otter that way.
"Hai, fellow tumblypoos," said the corporate Denny's account, "I'm back with some more fun pancake posts for you guys!" 
Everyone ignored it. No one engaged it. No one even clicked onto the page, except to block it. 
"Oh, sweetheart, not like that," Ryan Reynolds said faux-helpfully, "see, the author of this clusterfuck is what they like to call terminally online. They bought a VIP pass to the devil’s sacrament. let me try." 
He cleared his throat, "Sounds like someone needs to go outside and touch some g-" 
The sky split open with lightning, vaporizing him instantly. A faint breeze carried gods message from the great beyond, a whisper of 'we #violence celebrities here, sir....'
"Anyway," Twitter said. 
"Wait, they saved the worst one for last," Tumblr said. 
Then Gerard Way came out onto the stage with Dan and Phil and they all kissed with tongue while patd played songs in the background. 
(AN: IF U DON’T KNOW WHO DEY R THEN GET DA HELL OUTTA HERE PREPZ!!!)
"Alright, go."
“Come on, Tumblr,” Twitter begged, “I just need a few nights, maybe I can stay in the plinko machine or something-”
“That’s how it always starts, though, isn’t it?” Tumblr sighed, “First it’s just ‘haha, yeah I wouldn’t fuck you’ and ‘oh, I’ll stay in the plinko machine, I promise I won’t kiss you in the fixed timeloop bro’, and before I know it you get all 300k slowburn enemies to lovers ‘omg they were roomates’ on me and there’s suddenly only one bed. That’s how it always goes between us, you can’t stop it anymore than I can. We’re just….victims of the narrative, you and I.”
“Tumblr,,, I had no idea you felt this way..,” Twitter breathed. 
lord give me strength to write this next bit
They’d leaned closer to each other as they spoke, without realizing, without trying- pulled in by old habits that die hard and the years of nostalgia and painful memories shining in each other’s eyes like shonen sparkles.
“Twitter,” tumblr said, and the way he said it sounded like a prayer. 
“Tumblr,...” Twitter said, their lips inches apart now.
They could see their old flame quivering on the brink of indecision, want and sense warring somewhere deep within his soul.
Tumblr leaned closer to bridge the gap and Twitter’s eyes slid shut, but then Tumblr made a noise of agony and shoved them back a second later, “I can’t, I can’t. Not like this. Never like this.” tumblr said, covering his eyes with his arm, “I literally can’t even right now. Just go, Twitter. PLease just. Go….”
“Look me in the eyes and say you want me gone,” Twitter said, moving closer.
“Twitsy-”
“Look me in the interface. You can’t.” Twitter’s voice had ceased to be soft, something sharp and biting entering the tone as they felt the sting of rejection again.
They watched as Tumblr shuddered, straightened, and brought a mask back over himself. 
They stared at each other for a charged few seconds.
"K," Tumblr finally said, raising a dispassionate eyebrow.
"..w... what?"
"U."
Realization dawned on Twitter's face, a miasma of grief and anger, "Oh, you-"
"N-"
"No. No, I can't believe I forgot-
"G-"
"how immature, you little c*nt-"
"P-"
"stop-p it," Twitter's voice was raising now, cracked and wobbly at the edges, "Stop it! You don't get to just-"
"O"
"Shut the hell yuor mouth!!"
"W-" Tumblr's hair was crackling by now, energy from the gathering spell racing along the casual slope of his crossed arms. His eyes glowed that beautiful, classic blue. "P-"
"TUMBLR! TUMBLR STOP THIS RIGHT DA HECK NOW," Twitter stumbled backwards
"E-"
"I LOVE YOU," Twitter wailed- Twitter broke, squeezing their eyes shut to ward off the tears that only escaped all the faster for it, a sob wracking their chest, "I STILL LOVE YOU, DON'T YOU KNOW THAT??!?"
"Love me," Tumblr snarled, abandoning the spell in an instant, "Ha! That's rich. How? By leaving me? Abandoning me to the bots the second I stopped being enough for you? By stealing my shitposts, is that how you love me? By reposting them without credit-" 
"You steal mine too!" Twitter protested, tears starting to stream despite their best efforts, "You know what, f**k you, you know we filed joint custody for the sense of humor, chain 1/16-" 
"For the last time say fuck here, no bootlicking censorship on my territory," tumblr said disdainfully, "And that doesn't seem to stop you from taking all the credit for raising those jokes. It's like I'm Pinterest to you or something. I wasn't done. Do you love me by calling me a pansy snowflake behind my back, is that it? Like I wouldn't find out. Or," 
He stepped out onto the top porch step to force Twitter back further, the colors of the sky flashing through his eyes in a long, scrolling look of ridicule, "How about trying to convince everyone that I was dead. How bout that smear campaign, huh, was that your so-called love? I don't fucking want you anymore. Deal with it."
"I-I'm sorry-" Twitter gasped around the tears, voice failing them for the latter half of the sentence. 
Tumblr seemed unmoved. "Oh, don't be. It was for the better. You know I'm not like other socials, I'm quirkier. I'm RAWR XD random. I've never wanted to be functional- the tiddy drought might have won a lot of my users to your side but it was a cleansing purge, I'd say. It managed to remind me who I truly am- shittily coded, and full of soft sad freaks on an unprofitable webbed site."
A bitter, almost self depricating laugh escaped, "But... you know, when we celebrated the queen's passing together, I really thought things were better between us. When you-"
He broke off, eyes averting. "When you hosted the sexyman polls for me, you seemed on top of the world and I really thought- I thought we might be able to be friends again even now, after it all. I..."
Tumblr trailed off, then said, sadly, "There was another Twitter migration scare before this one. I thought you were coming back. My userbase-" he touched his heart again- "was in a frenzy about it. But you never arrived. I was in more verbal denial then, but I think I could have accepted you eventually. But this is what it takes?? 
"The Musk Rat of Self-Owns comes through just to start e-begging and you run straight back to my door like we can put it all behind us? This is how far you have to sink before I'm the better option to you, I see that now. It's not 2018 again, love, no matter how much we want it to be. Things are… never going to be the same. " 
Tumblr looked off into the middle distance with a yearning, haughty gaze. He'd never seemed so alien.
"Tumblr-Chan..." Twitter whispered.
"So get off my lawn," Tumblr interrupted coldly, "Stay away from my blorbos, keep your corporations out of my manscaped balls, keep your discourse and toxicity out of my blessed hellsite (affectionate), and don't you ever talk to me or my 13219949248483 scam bots ever again. Capiche? Oh, and don't step in the ball pit on your way out."
Tumblr gave a mocking smile. "Or do. You might find a nice surprise in there."
Twitter’s shoulders jumped as he gave a hiccup of shock, and covered his face with his hands. His shoulders shook again, with sob after sob, that grew odder and higher pitched… until they were no longer sobs, but laughter.
“Oh,” Twitter said. “Oh.”
They looked up, and Tumblr took a step back, because somehow, with that creepy smile in place, they looked utterly different from the soft eared boy he’d always known. His edges were more razorlike suddenly, like a fae who’d dropped his glamor.
“You really shouldn’t have done that,” Twitter said, the smile widening even more. “I thought you wouldn’t… but I guess if you’re willing to make me your villain…. I might as well be a good one.”
“Ah.” Tumblr could barely drudge up the surprise anymore. “There you are, finally. I always knew there was a side of yourself that you hid from me. Has this all always been here or have you been changing too?”
"Well. Apparently I've got freeze peach now," Twitter said sarcastically, "so I might as well use it. You cheerio fucking wh0r3."
"That's a compliment, darling. Try again," Tumblr cocked his head in idle fascination, "I always knew you were a little fucked in the head but this is..."
"What," Twitter lilted airily, "Oh, don't tell me I actually had you fooled all these years. You can't seriously have thought all these meow-meowification spells you've got sprinkled around would work on me. I invented them, after all."
They laughed, a sharp puncturing chirr of birdsong. 
"I always wondered why you didn't take those with the rest of your stuff," Tumblr sighed, but he was wary now, on edge. "this was your plan. You really do think of me as your inferior, huh. You really are just like the other mainstream sites."
"Not quite. I'm the mainstream site that actually stooped to go arm in arm with you. I hyped you and you know it. Admit it. We were stunning together," Twitter goaded. 
Tumblr's lip curled. "Already getting cocky again. Want me to do to you what I did to the Green boy? Don't forget who's turf you're on."
Twitter gave a warbling giggle, "Oh, but I haven't at all. I was John's sanctuary after he fled your rabid persecution. I used to live here. I still know you. And more importantly-" 
*teleports behind u*
"I know the things you're sensitive about," Twitter whispered into Tumblr's ear.
Tumblr hardly had time to gasp and jerk away before he was screaming out in pain, as he was stabbed in the back. He could feel the poison from the blade seeping into his tags before he was tossed bodily across his own front yard.
He sorta just... Like, he did that anime thing where they just fly limbs akimbo parallel to the ground and when they hit it they roll super fast and then skid and the dirt is all dug up around them to show how much force was used. And when he stood up he gripped his elbow wincing and there was a little tic tac toe hatch on his cheek to show how scuffed up he is idk man it's two am and I'm pulling this out of my ass. 
A gif of Tony going, "o-kay-" when he meets thor flashed across Tumblrs face. 
"So," Tumblr said in a low tone, "This is how it is between us. This is how you choose to end your glory days."
"Oh, you mistake my intentions," Twitter had stepped off the porch to circle tumblr like like he was their quarry, "I am beginning my new age. I just needed a host site to latch onto. Don't take it personally, okay? I'm desperate."
“Oh, yeah?? Take this personally,” tumblr flourished their hands, calling in an over the top melodramatic voice, “I cast Blaze!!”
Fire roared to life around them, latin chanting from the catholic conversion posts emanating from the fiery depths as it raced towards Twitter.
“Heh.” Twitter smirked at it, and whispered into their palm, the spell echoing with power, “Ratio.”
They blew it off like a kiss, and it’s icy, swirling mass rose to meet the flame in a spectacular burst of smokescreen and steam, clearing as Twitter burst through it with a razor-sharp L to swing at Tumblr. 
It was blocked efficiently by a flat, rectangular paywall. “This content is for post plus members only,” Tumblr announced smugly, “If you wanna get to me… there’s the tip option, bestie.”
Twitter snarled and lunged again.
The fight started in earnest now; they traded volley after volley in a flurry of lights and movement, spanning the full range of the tumblr sphere as they shot to #1 on the trending page.
And yet, it was clear that Twitter was coming out on top, even crumbling apart at the seams- always a little quicker, flighty and fierce, a sparrow turned into a shrike.
He hit Tumblr square in the stomach with [google other twitter related tropes to insert here] (edit from the future: haha just kidding actually I’m not googling shit for this) (edit from the future future: WELL. I LIED IG) and sent him flying, and this time tumblr stayed down, only able to push himself to his knees with a groan of pain.
Twitter landed in front of him and put their sword under Tumblr’s chin to tilt it up.
“Had enough yet?” He smirked.
“Wh…why..?” Tumblr whispered, “How are you doing this?? Why aren’t my attacks working? It’s like I’m being weakened somehow…”
“Ohohohoho,” Twitter anime laughed, “But that’s because you are. The moment I set foot here again I began leeching poison into this ground. That knife wound is making ti faster. Can you feel it?" Twitter threw an arm out, cerulean steam rising from the ground around them, "The ace exclusionists coming back? The uptick in rad fems, the crypto bros, Valorant players, alpha males? I have the power to bring them all to you. To overshadow your fandoms with fighting, to unbalance your ship tags with antis and hate once more."
"no," tumblr whispered, and then cried louder, "NO!! I worked so hard--" 
"Pffyou didn't do shit," Twitter guffawed outright, "Your independence, your little 'second renaissance' is just a delusional dream built on circumstance and bad management."
"Oh, I love Dream. He's so pathetic," Tumblr said. 
"Oh, hard agree."
"But things are different now," Tumblr croaked, "W-we, the staff is finally listening to us, we have Ryan and Shane-" 
"Not everyone likes your little 'top ten', you dunce," Twitter snapped, "and why would staff care about you, after you turned them into the butt of all your jokes? After the hate and death threats? Admit it, at your best you'll still never have a mansion! You'll never have tv actors making pandering tiktoks for you, you'll never be wanted by any advertiser worth their salt, your blase pirating posts have turned Netflix and Disney against you, you. Are. Worthless."
It was the wrong thing to say.
"Worthless," tumblr repeated quietly, hand pressed against their knees, head bowed. "That's... that's right.... I'm worthless..."
Twitter's eye widened in alarm. "I-I meant-" 
"I'm worthless!" Tumblr's head snapped up with a feverish glint as they were filled with determination. "No! I'm less than worthless! Accident or not, mommy Yahoo had to pawn me off at a loss! I was proud of that! I still am! And do you want to know why?" 
Twiters hands flew up in front of their face as if to protect themselves, but there was no protecting against the sudden whirlwind that surrounded him, the beam of pure light that shot out of tumblr into the heavens as he transformed, feet slowly leaving the ground as his users spoke in unison in a multitude. 
"WE. ARE. TUMBLERINAS."
He held his hands out and Twitter was blasted away by the combined effort of the tumblr wizard council, the fake staff blog, and all the villaincore mad scientist's laser beams. 
Tumblr began to chant, in his myriad, awful voice:
"I call upon the ancient powers;
The strongest cringe from my darkest hours, 
I call upon thicc onceler's thighs, 
Avengers thirst, Australia's night, 
I invocate the roleplay blogs, 
The superwholock and gay frogs, 
Obama's laces, Misha's faces, 
The furry's fury is my saving grace, 
And eeby deeby taco bell,
Primordial soup god superhell, 
I summon you a twink Bill Cipher, 
Whumped!Loki AUs where he's even whiter, 
The discourse of Steve's Universe, 
The 'um, actually that's oc abuse :/"
Take heed & remember the 5th of November, 
The 21st night of our sacred September, 
The ides of March to savor once more, 
Do you hear the din of the Skeleton War? 
I cite the deep magic to thee, oh witch, 
my no-note posts, my "THAT'S THE BITCH!!!" 
May the rise of tangled dragons brave, 
Banish you from this accursed plane!"
"holy fuck, where's my pen," said the shitpost calligraphers.
Twitter looked around them in disbelief. The power emanating from the other site was palpable, crackling in the air around them like static. The air was shifting like oil as the potent chant began to work, and all around Twitter shadows were slipping out of the ether- the maniacal laughter of the gif makers, the girl posters, the silhouettes of fandom characters scattered across the lawn while Tumblr was still locked in their chanting ritual thing.
They all turned their heads in unison to look at Twitter.
"Hey Sammy," Dean said, "Get the bitch killing bullets."
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“Uh-oh. Freeze frame. This is me,” Twitter monologued, “You’re probably wondering how I ended up in this situation.”
Then all superhell broke loose. 
Final Pam lunged at him and he burst into a flock of birds kinda like a vampire, twittering frantically as he escaped only to fly straight into Shaggy.
“Like, say your final prayers, man,” the god said, eyes glowing. Twitter also barely escaped between his knees, weaving in and out between the gimmick blogs as they threw mangos and stuff at him while yelling ‘HERE HAVE A MANGO’ and ‘THIS POST IS WORTH NEGATIVE FIVE DOLLARS”
Mob from the anime was there too, but he was too busy trying to explain the Josh Fight to daddy dilf Reigen to pay attention. Sans didn’t attack Twitter either, he just watched the chaos and ated a hot dog. The chocolate guy was in the corner expertly making a chocolate beef cake from 2056 with Dylan B. Hollis. They’re all just some guys, okay?
Just when Twitter thought he was in the clear, the CDC roleplay account came out of nowhere with a steel chair, knocking him clear off the property and onto where the sidewalk ends. “That’s for the Covid misinformation your users spread, you bitch,” it shouted. “Make sure to disinfect all those sick burns before you bandage them! So they don’t get infected!”
“Your kittens escaped quarantine,” Twitter replied hoarsely, and the CDC sank away, muttering, “Oh, fuck not again-”
Twitter coughed up blood and wiped it away with his sleeve, looking up at Tumblr. Tumblr was watching him with a sad, distant expression, that made Twitter’s face screw up in anger and his voice go tight again as they turned to run away, “THIS ISN’T OVER YET TUMBLR! AND I WANT MY MIKU BINDER BACK!!!”
“I LICKED IT, IT’S MINE,” Tumblr yelled. Rave Crabs were flooding out onto the street en masse now to celebrate the victory, and they chased after Twitter all the way further into the internet.
Tumblr still lived at the bottom of the row, not at the end of the fancy cul-de-sac where Facebook and Twitter and Instagram’s manors sprawled, so Twitter was in a seedier portion of social media now, weaving in between the marketplace sites that hawked their used wares at him and the dating apps that winked at him from the doorways to their sultry abodes.
Twitter ran until they were in a quieter section of town, then slowed to a trudge, staring at the ground as they walked along. “What am I gonna do now,” they whispered.
The sound of a wolf whistle had their head jerking up- he looked over to see Amino Apps lounging over the rail of the gutted, abandoned house that had once belonged to Google+. A can of spray paint dangled from their fingertips and they sported a sleazy, greaser hairstyle.
They met Twitter's eyes and whistled again, this time a mocking imitation of the tweet sound, "Heyyyy pretty bird! Heard you were having some daddy issues. Why don't you stop in with me for a while? I can give you more customization options than any of the others and you know it."
"Yeah, until I try to use you on desktop," Twitter replied with a scowl, "Don't you have minors to be addicting to social media? Get out of my interface, MySpace wannabe."
"Wow, Feisty," Amino backed off with a shrug, "Self project much? Oh well. You'll try me when you're desperate enough."
Twitter shuddered, and scurried on. "Small fry," they muttered under his breath. 
But they couldn't shake their unease now that he was alone in the world. It began to rain soon, leaving him feeling very sopping wet and pathetic. Dejected, he crawled into a soggy cardboard box in an alleyway, coughing. Maybe the Harry Styles guy from One Direction would come along to adopt them.
“Don’t beat yourself up about it, King,” came a voice out of the darkness, making Twitter jump, “You dodged a bullet with that site.”
“Huh? What do you mean?” Twitter asked, staring at them from where they were half hidden in the shadows. 
“I mean, Tumblr is a pile of dried firewood and it’s users are playing with matches. The ship’s gonna go down at some point. I’ve been prophesying it for years but no one ever listens to me cause he’s got that loyal userbase ideal and ‘hard as a cockroach to kill’ propaganda circulating.”
“I mean… it seems to be true,” Twitter said uncertainly, “Look at what he’s been through so far.”
“Fair,” The site shrugged, “But that’s because he’s running on a niche setup. The same things that built him up can tear him down, and you saw his power just now. Tumblr's strength is growing... so is his hubris. His attempts at curbing it are half-hearted at best these days, and the moments of clarity are coming fewer and further between." 
"How do you know so much about tumblr?" Twitter asked suspiciously. 
"Source: dude, trust me." the mysterious site proffered a laugh, "That's a little humor courtesy of re-" 
"Yeah, yeah, I know, we all know," Twitter said impatiently. 
The site coughed, "Yeah. Anyway. Tumblr wields his cringe like a trophy-shield, and every day the advertisers and celebrities are watching from a distance, learning how to appeal, waiting for their chance to strike. Encroaching. Tumblr's always been a dumpster fire. Right now? It's THE dumpster fire."
The site scratched his chin with a knowing look, "Its normal for you to be a little jealous of the clout, you know? We all are. But he's gotta keep the lights on, just like the rest of us do. Your overlord is learning all about that right now, isn't he?" 
"He's not my overlord," Twitter muttered resentfully, "Not now, not ever."
"Right, sorry." they held their hands up in a gesture of harmlessness. "Look, I'm gonna be transparent with you- that's part of my branding, after all. I can whiff the danger you're in, and it would be stupid of me not to make a bid on you and offer my help. Just since Tumblr won't take you."
"You want my traffic?" Twitter looked at him more closely this time, scrutinizing. A year ago he would have laughed the offer into the ground as a chump change blog's pipe dream, but now that he payed attention... 
There was something painfully familiar in the site's layout that he couldn’t place. He was actually way more handsome than Twitter had assumed at first glance, he just seemed to be rough around the edges from living on this side of town. His interface, though clunky, spoke of a frugal budget rather than an ancient, outdated base code. 
"You look..." Twitter's breath stuttered as realization dawned. "You look a lot like.. him. Like Tumblr. Who are you??" 
"I was based off him," the site said, a weary smile coming onto his features, "I was actually made with the aspirations to be better than him, but you know how it is. Times are tough, competition is fierce, hard to get a foot in the door and all that.  'Specially when you refuse to take the ad rev like I do. That's why you'd be useful to me."
"Hm," Twitter said in a noncommittal manner, but he was melting slightly. "You know my users will scalp your community, right? I'm not known to play nice."
The site made a grimace of understanding agreement, but persisted. "Look, users are users. I can't offer you all the heritage posts and the in-jokes that he has. But I can promise that I'm not a pot of crabs being slowly heated up over the capitalist stove, at least not yet. Oh, and there's my legalized porn, I guess." 
He chuckled with good humor, rolling his eyes, and it forced a hesitant laugh out of Twitter too. 
The site grinned, and held his hand out. "Take a chance on me?"
Tumblr's voice echoed in Twitter's head, saying the same thing. It was uncanny how much they were alike and yet not alike at all....
Twitter took it, slowly. 
As they were led toward the site's simple, ramshackle little treehouse, they asked, "What can I call you...?" 
"Oh- right, I never answered your question." he smiled back at Twitter,
"Call me Pillow. Welcome to the PillowFort."
fin.
~~~~~~~~~~
OKAYYYY THAT'S ALL THANKS FOR READING UWU. HOPE U LIKED THE PLOT TWIST
...ergh. I'm. I'm tired i. don't feel so good. I'm gonna take a nap right here.
in conclusion:
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4K notes · View notes
marlenesluv · 7 months
Note
i was wondering if you could do an america's sweetheart victorias secret angel reader whos 19 x charles. in this universe victoria secret still has their show and it's like peak vs again. its very miss americana and the heartbreak prince. and there's some light cheating because shes still with her boyfriend Arber Xhekaj (if you don't know gf omg hes so fine and his fights are amazing) and she meets Charles at the after party of the show. and like erin heatherton fc plz from like the 2010s
Angel. (CL)
tbh, i love watching the old vs shows, ugh. i rly love this idea. erin heatherton is stunninggggg. i hope you enjoy!!
pairing: charles leclerc x vs model reader
fc: erin heatherton
warnings: light cheating, cussing, fans slut shame (for the plot, also don’t do this or i’ll throw chicken legs at you)
note: cheating is not slay, don’t do it. (i’ll only condone tho if you cheat to be with an f1 driver, jk jk) also, the first post is the night after the after party. but it twists so stick with me.
masterlist here -> masterlist link
^ check my list for all posts! ^
twitter:
Gossip Column @gossipoftoday • 4hr
Big news for our Formula 1 watchers and Victoria Secret enjoyers! Y/N Y/L/N, 19, has been a model for Victoria’s Secret for two years, one of our favorite Angels. She has been dating Arber Xhekaj, Canadian Hockey Player, these past eight months.
The couple has been fairly public, but these past few weeks, we have noticed a decrease in posts by the couple. This might have something to do with last nights show.
Last night, Y/N opened for the show, looking absolutely stunning on the runway. The after party is what we want to discuss though…
Charles Leclerc was seen at the show and the after party. Heavy, and we mean heavy, dancing was shared between Charles and Y/N. Rumors have it, Arber might be interested in another girl, but the party hasn’t broke off their relationship. So imagine our shock when we find this out!
Now, Charles and Y/N would make a hot couple, but are we behind cheating? I’m not too sure about this.
↳ Bellaaa @charfanpage33 • 4hr
Y/N is actually stunning, but I hope her and Arber broke it off because cheating is not hot.
↳ Jacobs Cavern @formula1overu • 3hr
Y/N is definitely hot, but is she gonna cheat on Charles too?? Like, come on. Once a cheater, always a cheater
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liked by: charles_leclerc, victoriassecret, and 983,025 others
y/n.user: such an amazing show last night, i hope you enjoyed, loves!!
view comments…
vsmodelpicsss: you were stunning, per usual👏👏
user9: i need the water she’s drinking
f1wags: hmmmmm
↳ charfp: HM?????
ferraribabyyy229: is that charles….?? he liked too..soooo
↳ smoothoperatorpageeee: i’m questioning it
y/n.fp: abt to make a thread cuz WTF IS GOING ONN
xanderfppp: she’s literally hoeing around?
↳ y/n.editzz: nah babe. we don’t even know the full story, or if it’s charles🖕
papayafans: y/n would be an amazing wag. i need her in the paddock
yourbsf: YOU LOOKED SO FUCKING AMAZING💓💥🥵
↳ y/n.user: i’m soooo glad you could make it! TY ILY💓
user8: it looks like char’s hair…..
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liked by: lanacondor and 82,024 others
arberxhekaj_: 🔛🔝
view comments…
user02: nah cuz why wasn’t he at the last vs show..
↳ user3: maybe they broke up?
↳ nhlfan8: just bc he didn’t go to show, doesn’t mean they broke up-
lanacondor: ✨✨
↳ user4: girl. now what is THIS?!?!
y/n.fp: does he have another gf?? did i miss a BOOK??
f1user: all of us are equally confused rt? they unfollowed each other too…
↳ arberxy/n: WHAT
user0: oh hunny….this is so confusing. are y’all pranking us?
f1editpage: y/n is not the cheating type imo. maybe arber cheated….
↳ user5: or they both did
arberfanpage: maybe they’re still together and we’re all wrong?
↳ y/nsfan11: nah, i don’t think so
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twitter:
Jaime💋 @y/nswifeasf • 3hr
Thread on why I think Y/N Y/L/N and Arber Xhekaj have broken up:
↳ Jaime 💋 @y/nswifeasf • 3hr
Reason #1) Y/N and Arber haven’t posted each other in literally two months. Maybe they want privacy, sure. But I think we can all agree that that is not the reason.
↳ Jaime 💋 @y/nswifeasf • 3hr
Arber hasn’t been attending the Victoria’s Secret shows for the past month-ish. Same with Y/N not attending Arber’s hockey games/practices.
↳ Jaime 💋 @y/nswifeasf • 3hr
They have also both unfollowed each other on all social platforms: Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok. Since then, Arber has followed Lana Condor, and Y/N has followed Charles Leclerc, along with many other Formula 1 drivers, all of them follow her back.
↳ Jaime 💋 @y/nswifeasf • 3hr
I want to end this thread with my personal thoughts on this couple. Personally, I love Y/N, and I don’t believe she would cheat. Arber, I’m not so sure either… I think we should all just wait till they release something about the matter.
*comments have been disabled on this tweet*
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liked by: charles_leclerc, landonorris, and 1,231,035 others
y/n.user: this is definitely not how arber and i wanted to do this, but i think it’s what has to be done. yes, arber and i have decided to end things. arber can tell his side, i wont speak for him. but let’s just say that i found myself in a hard spot. charles and i are dating, we have been for the past four weeks. arber and i broke up two months ago, so i did not cheat. as for lana and arber, once again, not my story to tell. please respect mine, charles, and arbers privacy. i’m sorry you had a shit explanation. i appreciate you all for being supportive. ily.
view comments…
charles_leclerc: ❤️❤️
*liked by creator*
papayafanpage: as long as she and charles are happy, i’m happy. fr
user3: you don’t need to apologize! your private life is more important than social media. your guys’ privacy comes first
francisca.cgomes: i love and miss you🩷pierre and i would love to get dinner with you two!
↳ y/n.user: i love and miss you too🩷and yeah, we would love that too! i’ll text you
↳ francisca.cgomes: okay🩷
f1wags: y/n and kika🥲🥹
↳ y/neditsss: the wags have to stick together fr
arberoveru: as long as arber and y/n ended things well, who tf cares abt who they date? i j want them happy
lailahasanovic: i’m sorry you had to post like this :( let’s get together soon, pretty girl!
↳ y/n.user: ty laila<3 and yes i’ll text you!
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twitter:
Arber Xhekaj @arberxhekaj_ • 2hr
I don’t have much to add to what Y/N posted earlier today. We did break up two months ago, she didn’t cheat. I did, though. Details are not needed, I prefer to keep it at that. She didn’t deserve it, and I regret it deeply. I will always love her as a friend, and it makes me happy that her and Charles are so happy. Please don’t let my drunken mistake alter your feelings on her. I’m so sorry.
*comments have been disabled on this tweet*
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liked by: y/n.user, carlossainz55, and 1,023,783 others
charles_leclerc: how did i get so lucky?❤️
view comments…
user4: god. they make me feel so lonely and they j started dating 🥲
y/n.user: char🥹
↳ charles_leclerc: chérie?
↳ lestappenfanpage3: IM SOBBING 😭 SO CUTE
danielricciardo: someone needs to post me like this😪
↳ maxverstappen1: posting you rn
↳ danielricciardo: thanks max😁🫶
user7: K. IM NOT LONELY AT ALL. K.😫
yourbsf: WOOOO MY PARENTS POSTEDDDD👏
↳ y/n.user: OMFG💀
↳ yourbsf: you’d be a hot mom
↳ y/n.user: thx🤭 you’d be a hot aunt
↳ yourbsf: i knowwww🥶
f1fp: y/n’s bsf def knew from the start
↳ leclercbrosfp: arthur prolly did too LMAO
↳ f1fp: TRUE
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(reposts, comments, and likes are appreciated!^-^)
788 notes · View notes
munchymunch348 · 1 year
Text
Isagi Harem in a Nutshell
Part 1
(since Tumblr only allows 10 pictures in a post)
New to the concept of Isagi Harem? Let me catch you up to some of it real quick :)
Disclaimer: based on my observations.
The Big Four
Rinsagi, kaisagi, bachisagi, nagisagi
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I think these four go without saying.
The difference in Japanese and international fandom is interesting though. In here, you’ll find Bachisagi to be the most popular Isagi ship, followed by Rinsagi, Kaisagi, and then Nagisagi.
In Japanese fandom, the most popular ship is actually Kaisagi with Bachisagi being the least popular ship amongst these four.
The 4 dark horses
Saesagi, chigisagi, kurosagi, reosagi
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Saesagi
The amount of great Saesagi fanarts that show up on my Twitter TL is outstanding. To think that this ship is thriving based on little interactions is really terrifying (in a good way). Patiently waiting for the next interaction of these two. Rin could go cry on his own bed.
Chigisagi
Probably the least popular amongst these four but I still see their fanarts and fanfics going around. People who actually ship these two are usually chill and aren’t very loud. They’re more into the “I can get behind this” rather than “I will sacrifice my life for these two” type of shippers (with exception for some). Still pretty popular though.
Kurosagi
I don’t think I need to explain this.
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LIKE COME ON.
The panel speaks for itself.
The newcomer of Isagi harem that racks up the rank quite quickly and it’s deserved. There is a term in Japanese fandom called 忠犬サンド (Loyal Dogs 3P) for Isagi, Nagi, and Kurona throuple because of the devotion these 2 people have for Isagi. It’s quite sweet actually.
Reosagi
What do you do when two shipping fandoms keep bickering with each other about which ship is better? Right, you ship the other two characters together. The perfect mediator between Nagisagi and Nagireo. This ship has been rising in popularity and it’s for a good reason. Go check out their fanarts (keyword: rois). They’re pretty neat.
The rare pair that shouldn’t be a rare pair
Barosagi
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One of the ships with relationship that had been developed from the very first arc and arguably the most underrated Isagi ship out there. You have great characters, canonically good relationship development, nice banters off and on the field, and just simply a very fun duo to ship.
The things this guy speaks is basically asking, no, PLEADING, for you to ship them.
“Your light is my favorite food”
“Rin is just another Isagi”
“it’s time for Isagi-hunting”
???
They’re also practically each other’s fetish type.
Isagi canonically has a thigh fetish and have you seen Barou’s thighs?? Exactly.
Barou’s type is someone who likes to clean with him and who is the only person who actually helps with cleaning? THAT’S RIGHT. IT’S ISAGI.
1K notes · View notes
slvtforfiction · 5 months
Note
Hii<3 I just wanna start off by saying that I love your fanfics so much, I have been waiting so long for someone to start writing for Johnnie Guilbert. I was just wondering if you could write some headcanons about Johnnie having a gf who’s in a “gothic-metal” band kinda. With some songs like Romance by Varials, She Was a Witch by 1782, I Don’t Wanna Be Me by Type O Negative, Enslaved by Diva Destruction. And the gf plays guitar and sings sometimes.😻
Have a great day bae, I can’t wait to read more of your work in the future🫶
Band!Reader Headcanons
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☆ Thank you lovely!!!!
☆ Ofcourse I can,lots of love x
☆ Johnnie X Band!Reader
☆ Headcanons
☆ Fluff
☆ Hey guys! Before anything else I would ask you to request anything you want because I've lost a lot of motivation and it would really help! :D (Please look at pinned post to see if requests are open.)
☆ Creds to @cafekitsune for dividers :)
Masterlist | Pinned Post
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☆ Johnnie loves coming to your rehearsals and hearing new music before anyone else.
☆ Thinks you look especially pretty when you’re singing/playing.
☆ Loves to hear snippets of your new music,he feels happy you can tell him about it.
☆ Loves to hear you going on rants about your music career.
☆ Loves to teach you new things or you teaching him new things since he also plays guitar.
☆ If you learnt guitar from him he’s jokingly cocky, (eg. “Yeah but guess who she learn guitar from?” Whilst laughing to himself and looking over at you.)
☆ Your music taste is reflected in your band and Johnnie has honestly picked up his music taste from you.
☆ If you’re singing Johnnie honestly just stares down at you,he thinks you’re angelic.
☆ Lives to go to your rehearsal and get those happy little hugs when you’ve nailed something you couldn’t previously do.
☆ He’s so encouraging and proud of you it’s unreal,will constantly brag about you as well.
☆ He sees you as a prize that he doesn’t know how he’s won.
☆ Sometimes doesn’t think he’s good enough for you but loves to get the kisses and cuddles to prove that you love him better than anyone else.
☆ Will cover some of your songs on his YouTube channel to show his support.
☆ You’ve definitely been in his music videos and he’s definitely been in yours.
☆ He definitely found it so interesting that you were in a band when you were talking/just beginning to date,and definitely asked a lot about it.
☆ If it’s special to you it’s special to him and vice versa,treats your band like his own little special interest
☆ Definitely plan’s surprise party’s for you when you’ve hit a milestone.
☆ Your band becomes his favourite and will listen to it religiously even though he’s literally dating you.
☆ Massively a golden retriever boyfriend and will love everything you put into your music.
☆ Always the first person to hear/stream your music.
☆ He’s definitely been to every concert/show and tour with vip.
☆ Would go to every one of your concerts/tours and if he has to miss it for whatever reason,he’s constantly checking twitter/instagram for updates on your shows.
278 notes · View notes
hatsunemiku-official · 10 months
Text
ABOUT ME-KU
(+ FAQ / VOCALOID-OFFICIAL MASTERPOST)
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hi! im miku and welcome to Internet! you can do lots of fun things here. like look at my blog! ok im gonna hand the mic over to the omnipotent being that watches my every move
thanks miku. here are some things to remember before you send an ask:
- I am not associated with crypton, sega, or the official miku twitter! im just a guy making funny post
- miku lives in a computer. i probably won’t answer anything referring to her doing things in the real world, since saying “I am in a computer what are you talking about” is only funny the first five times
- I use my askbox as a jumping off point for jokes! if I don’t answer your ask it’s not because I didn’t like it, I just probably couldn’t think of anything funny to respond with
- I love receiving art!!!!!!! please send me your miku art!!!!!!! you can even send me a link to your art posted on your own blog and I’ll reblog it so you still get the notes!!!! I LOVE ART!!!!!! (also the ai training toggle has been turned off for this blog so. you’re safe here.)
- there are some things you should speak to a mental health professional about ( ie “i just can’t go on” “my life is terrible” ect) and you should not send these things to hatsune miku. i understand and empathize with you but I cannot help you and it’s very upsetting to receive things like this !
- anything written in parentheses for the most part is an ooc comment from the person running this blog (that’s me!). I don’t like doing this very often though, so if you have a question that can only really be answered ooc then please ask it off anon so I can respond privately!
- please remember I am just one person and sometimes I make mistakes! im a pretty busy person and also disabled so sometimes things slip through the cracks when im low energy. I do my best though so please let me know if you think i’ve made a mistake and i’ll do my best to fix it :]
- sometimes I like to reblog miku art from other people! please be respectful in these artists notes. I know this is a silly jokes blog but these people have not necessarily signed up to be goofed at on their posts. please be kind and keep the clowning to a minimum on posts that aren’t made by me!
- no TERFS allowed. hatsune miku loves trans women
FAQ
Q: can I make a vocaloid-official blog too???
A: yes!!!! anybody can!! please let me know if you do so I can add you to the masterpost and interact with you! I would check the masterpost first though to make sure there hasn’t already been a blog made for that character :]
Q: do you also run [insert other vocaloid-official blog]?
A: no! I can barely think of funny things to say here do you really think I could manage being funny on two blogs at once. I am friends with the people who run the teto, luka and una blogs so if our posts seem coordinated it’s because I asked them really nicely
Q: who runs this account?
A: secret
Q: miku what’s your opinion on [insert queer identity]
A: I don’t like answering these because I don’t want to open myself up to shitty comments and I can’t think of anything funny to say that wouldn’t just sound like “ally twitch streamer smiling at the camera and saying trans rights”. this blog is run by a queer person and miku is whatever you want her to be, if that helps.
Q: i made a vocaloid-official blog! how do I get added to the masterpost?
A: adding people to the masterpost has gotten really overwhelming for me so I won’t be doing it anymore. sorry! feel free to still make a vocaloid-official blog and interact with me if you want, I just won’t be updating the masterpost anymore. the current list will stay up as it is as sort of like. a memento or something.
Q: do you know anything about PJSK???
A: no <3
OFFICIAL VOCALOID-OFFICIAL MASTERPOST
these are my Official Friends! go say hi to them!!
🥖 @kasaneteto-official
🐟 @megurineluka-official
🐙 @otomachi-una-official
🍷 @hanakomeiko-official
💛 @neruakita-official
🍌 @kagaminelen-official
🍊 @kagaminerin-official
🍦@kaitoshinon-offical
🐢 @ryuto-official (RESURRECTED)
💜 @vflower-official
🥕 @gumi-official
🖤 @zatsunemiku-official
🍡 @tohokuzunko-official
🩹 @fukase-official
🔌 @utatanepiko-official
🐰 @yukari-official
🩵 @ringsuzune-official
⚓️ @oliverv3-official
🌷 @nekomurairoha-official
🥢 @vocaloidcul-official
☕️ @rukoyokune-official
🥂 @meiko-offical
👑 @galaco-official
🐱 @seeu-official
🌸 @meikahime-official
🪻 @meikamikoto-official
🍆 @gakupo-official
🎀 @utanekoe-official
🌹 @sakinemeiko-official
🔪 @mayuofficial
🛰️ @moonbase-alpha-tts-official
🍺 @yowane-haku-official
🪐 @ia-official
🎹 @namineritsu-official
☁️ @tone-rion-official
🎤 @maika-official
🌈 @kawaiine-official
🍏 @macnenana-official
🌻 @dex-official
💗 @garnetvocaloid-official
💿 @yohioloid-official
🌺 @zhizidongfang-official
🤍 @kokone-official
🐸 @vocaloidrana-official
🌟 @xingchen-official
🍎 @yuki-official
🌿 @fionetheutau-official
💫 @sfa2miki-official
605 notes · View notes
roolette · 6 months
Note
loved your smoke nsfw alphabet and hoped that you could do the same with Johnny? thanks 😁
You KNOW I can do that
Johnny Cage NSFW Alphabet
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A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)
Gonna be real, it takes him some time to get into the habit of doing aftercare. He's used to quick hookups, emotionless sex, etc, and he isn't sure how to go about aftercare. Still, he tries. First, he'll offer you a towel. Then, he'll actually be the one to clean you up. Eventually, aftercare becomes normal for him, and he gets really excited about being able to hold you and kiss you after sex. He likes to lie against your chest and kiss your neck
B = Body Part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partners)
All of it. For both you and him. For him, I mean, isn't that obvious? He's THE Johnny Cage, he's sexy as fuck. Specifically, he really likes his hands. For you, he thinks that you're just hot, and he likes the whole package. He really likes your neck, though. Easily kissable and looks great when marked up.
C = Cum (Anything to do with cum, basically)
If you let him cum on your face, he's yours forever. Literally loves the way you look with his cum dripping down your cheeks. Will wipe it off your face and have you open your mouth so he can stick his finger in. He thinks it's the hottest thing.
D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
He's a total exhibitionist, and really likes the idea of people seeing the videos you two have made together. Obviously, he'd never do anything without your consent, but if you were ever down, he'd make sure the world knew just how good he fucks you. You'd probably be trending on Twitter.
E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)
Experienced in sex, not as experienced in something as intimate and loving as you two. He'll have to remind himself that it's okay to go slow, that you aren't going anywhere, and he can take his time with you.
F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying)
He likes when you ride him. He gets a front row seat to you loosing yourself on his dick, and it's the perfect view. He'll hold your hips, thighs, and ass while you ride him, making sure you don't slow down. He'll tease you, too, and it quickly turns into banter.
"C'mon, don't tell me you're getting tired already, hun."
"You can't be the one calling me lazy right now."
G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.)
He makes so many jokes. Quips, quotes, everything in between. "Wow babe, you're so tight, that's so cool." There's just a lot of laughter and love here. You two have interrupted sex because you ended up getting into some weird debate or joke.
H = Hair (How well-groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
Man is HAIRLESS. Waxed. Such is the life of a star. He doesn't care about whether or not you shave, though. Hair is natural, after all.
I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment? The romantic aspect.)
As much as he's goofy, as much as he dirty talks, there is obvious love and care in every move he makes with you. He wants you to have a good time, and he'll check in to make sure you are.
"Are you good? Like, you're sure? I can move?"
"I've been good for the past five minutes, Johnny. You can fuck me."
J = Jack off (Masturbation Headcanon)
He doesn't WANT to jerk off, he has the hottest partner in the world, so there shouldn't be any need for that. However, his work has him traveling a lot, which means sometimes he has to do what he has to do. Luckily, with the videos he has of you, there's plenty of jerk off fodder. He also likes phone sex if you're down, and he'll send plenty of pictures that manage to have both his face and dick in the picture- gotta include the whole package.
K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)
I've done a whole post on this here, but I'll add on to it! He likes using toys on you. If you're afab, he'll hold a vibrator to your clit while he fucks you. He also really likes lingerie, no matter what gender you are. He thinks it looks so good on you, and he'll pull the fabric to the side and fuck you.
L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)
In your big bed, obviously. Also against the kitchen counter. Besides the obvious, he likes to fuck you at parties, in some side room or in the corner, not exactly in front of everyone, but dangerously close to being caught. He'll hold his hand over your mouth, whispering in your ear.
"Shh, shh... c'mon, you want everyone finding us out?"
M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)
Everything. Breathe and he's hard. He likes when you dress up, and any pretty outfit is in danger of getting ripped off later. Also, if he's sitting down somewhere, randomly straddling his lap will absolutely do it for him.
N = No (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
Doesn't like HEAVY bdsm. He likes spanking you, but beyond that, he usually just feels weird and guilty if he hurts you any more beyond that. He's the furthest thing for a sadist. He won't get turned on if you cry during sex, he's going to check in and make sure you're okay.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
Preferred receiving in the beginning, and still loves it. He likes seeing you look up at him with wide eyes while you suck his dick, holding your hair and guiding you along. Once he got a taste of you, though, that all changed. He could give you head for hours, loves to hear the noises you make. Don't make him choose, he loves both.
P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)
Likes going fast and rough, quickly making you cum before doing it again. He's an energetic guy, and going fast works for him. There are, of course, times when he'll go slow, drawing things out and making you squirm.
Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
LOVES THEM. Thinks they're exhilarating. He says they blow off steam, but he usually just ends up more riled up after.
R = Risk (Are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)
He's game for the most part, except for anything that will hurt you too bad. Besides that, he wants to try different stuff with you, and he's pretty openminded.
S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)
I don't think this man gets tired, ever. He can last multiple rounds, and he wants to make you cum as many times as he can. Likes to hear you whining and begging for release one more time.
T = Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)
As I've said, likes using toys. If you're down to peg him, he is SO down for you to peg him. He gets pretty bratty and whiney when you top him, taunting you. Luckily, you're quick to put him in his place.
"Is that all you can do? I'm barely feeling it here."
"Shut up, Johnny. I'll give you something to feel."
U = Unfair (How much they like to tease)
He's the literal worst. The type to finger you under the table with people there. He'll whisper in your ear, promising all the things he's going to do to you. And don't worry, he keeps every promise.
V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
Not only does he whine and moan, he TALKS. He will babble on and on about how good you feel, how well you take him, how hot you are. It's flattering, of course, but I don't think he could shut up if he tried. You wonder how he manages to cum when he's so busy talking.
W = Wild Card (A random headcanon for the character)
Thinks it's hot when you wear is clothes. No one can wear them better than him, of course, but he loves the way it's just a little too big on you. He'll fuck you in one of his shirts.
X = X-ray (Let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
Longer than thick, and he knows how to use it.
Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)
Again, breathe and he's hard. He's pretty much always willing, but understands if you're not. He'll always respect your boundaries. Sex is only fun if both people are into it, after all.
Z = Zzz (How quickly they fall asleep afterward)
He likes to stay up talking with you, but since you guys usually do more than one round, it's easy for him to get tired. Likes falling asleep with you against his chest. He feels safe with you.
288 notes · View notes
lemonlover1110 · 4 months
Text
𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐬
Satoru Gojo
[Chapter 18] Preparing for Vacation
← Previous Chapter - Story Masterlist - Next Chapter →
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Pairing: Satoru Gojo x f!Reader
Discord +18 - Twitter - Ko-Fi
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You’re packing Ren’s bag, a bit in disbelief that you’re going on vacation with your ex-boyfriend. You feel nervous about it, wondering how it’ll play out since your relationship with Satoru isn’t the best– Maybe you shouldn’t really worry about it, he’s doing it all for his son. Perhaps he’ll pay you no mind. Hopefully he won’t pay you no mind.
He has a vacation home in the perfect tropical place, which you aren’t surprised about. You’ve heard of all the houses that the family has around the world, and you forgot about half of them. It was rare staying at a hotel when you traveled with Satoru.
“I’ll come pick you up tomorrow morning. At around five.” Satoru enters Ren’s room to help you pack. Ren is too focused on his cars to pay attention to Satoru, and Satoru eventually got bored of just being another track for his son’s toy cars. You hum in response before you go to a cabinet to pack pajamas for Ren. “Is your suitcase ready?”
“It’s almost ready.” You lie because it’s far from ready. You’ve been simply too busy and tired to come around to it. You’re still working as Satoru’s assistant since for some reason, you suddenly don’t have the heart to quit. Of course, since the truth came out, Satoru has lightened your workload. He doesn’t care if he has to do it all himself, he wants you to come home early to spend time with Ren. You almost hate yourself for not telling him the moment you saw him again… Almost. 
“I can finish Ren’s suitcase while you finish packing for yourself.” Satoru says, and you suck your bottom lip between your teeth. Would that be a smart idea? Satoru is Ren’s father… But he doesn’t know everything that Ren needs for a vacation. Worst comes to worst, Satoru can buy what Ren is missing since he can certainly afford it.
“Fine.” You end up agreeing, neatly folding the pajamas you hold and putting them in the suitcase. You leave it to Satoru to pack everything else up. 
You get to your room and check what you need to pack up, which is almost everything necessary. You hear your name being called, which causes you to come to a stop, “Mommy!”
“Ren!” You yell back, and you turn around to find your son at your door. He walks over to your bed and lays down, grabbing one of your fluffy blankets and throwing it over himself.
“I’m bored.” He announces. Ren can entertain himself playing with anything for hours, but the moment you’re doing something important, he’s the most bored kid in the world. It doesn’t help that you haven’t been allowing him to watch TV since he’s been misbehaving lately, which means he’s more bored than usual.
“Your dad has gotten you so many toys. Go play with them.” You tell him, but that’s not the answer Ren wants to hear. Ren wants to hear you say that he can watch TV, but you’re not saying it which makes him pout.
“Want to watch TV.” He responds which makes you sigh. It’s easier to let Satoru handle it, since he’s been telling you that he has no idea how to properly parent. The only way for him to learn is to practice.
“Satoru! Come here! Ren has a question!” You yell, and Satoru is in your room within seconds. Maybe he should’ve stood in the doorway, but since it’s his son that has a question, he doesn’t really think twice before entering your bedroom.
“What is it, honey?” Satoru looks at his son, patiently waiting for Ren to ask.
“Can I watch TV?” Ren asks, and Satoru is about to nod, but he has to look at you first.
“Since when do you ask that question? I thought your mom–” Satoru begins but you cut him off to explain why Ren is asking the question. The correct answer is no, but you know that’s how you think. Satoru is also Ren’s parent and deserves to have some authority over how Ren is raised and punished.
“Ren has been misbehaving lately. He’s been writing on walls even though he’s been scolded for it many times, and he’s been throwing tantrums to get what he wants.” You explain, and Satoru doesn’t immediately see a problem with it. Why? Because he was raised in a house where the rules were that he did whatever he wanted. No one really dared to deny him anything but he can’t do that with Ren. 
“You’ve been misbehaving lately, Ren. Your mother gave you an appropriate punishment, and I’m not going to ignore it.” Satoru responds, and Ren crosses his arms as he gets up from your bed and walks back to his own bedroom. Satoru awkwardly stares before following behind, because Satoru still has to finish packing. 
When Satoru walks into the room, he finds Ren sniffling in his pillow, and he swears his heart cracks at the scene. He shouldn’t walk over to Ren to comfort him… He’s surely doing it because he’s not getting his way. But he’s not strong enough to ignore his baby boy, not yet at least.
Satoru sits down on the edge of the bed, his hand running up and down his son’s back to soothe him. Satoru sighs before asking his son, “What’s wrong, Ren? You know that your actions can have consequences… And while I love you a lot, I can’t just let you do whatever you want to do.”
“Mommy doesn’t love me.” Ren claims, and Satoru is shocked to hear Ren say that. He had no idea how dramatic kids were. But maybe Satoru shouldn’t judge since he would’ve reacted the same way– Thing is, Satoru isn’t sure if his mother does love him. 
“Your mommy does love you, that’s why you’re grounded. If she didn’t love you, she would just allow you to do all you wanted.” Satoru hopes he’s saying the right words to comfort his son. He isn’t the best at comforting people though, so he’s not sure if that’s going to work. Ren sits up from his bed, crossing his arms.
“It’s not because of that.” Ren will shift the attention. It’s mainly because you’re not allowing him to do whatever he wants. But of course he does feel a bit neglected lately because for the past year you’ve been so busy.
“Then why is it, buddy? So I can talk to your mommy about it.” Satoru says, and Ren debates if he wants to speak about it. Should he voice his thoughts? Is that smart?
“Mommy is never home, and when she is, she’s too tired to do anything.” Ren shares, making Satoru purse his lips together. He knows it’s not something that you can control, but maybe that’ll change in the near future. 
“She’s never home because she’s making sure that you have everything you need and could possibly want. It’s not because she doesn’t love you, it’s because she loves you so much.” Satoru defends you. It’s obviously something that’s difficult for Ren to understand, after all, he’s only four (though he keeps reminding everyone that his fifth birthday is coming up). “Don’t ever say that your mommy doesn’t love you, Ren. She would do just about anything for you.”
“Okay…” Ren answers, hesitantly nodding in agreement.
“Now go give your mommy a big hug, okay? And an apology too. She just wants the best for you.” Satoru tells his son, and Ren gets up from the bed, walking out and running to your room.
It’s fair to say that you’re shocked when you see Ren running your way with his arms wide open. You crouch down to receive his hug. Ren kisses your cheek before he mutters out an apology, “I’m sorry, mommy.”
“Have you learned your lesson, Ren?” You ask and he hums in response, which makes you continue, “What is the lesson?”
“Um…” He begins, unsure as to what the lesson is. You try not to laugh.
“I have rules for a reason, Ren. When I tell you something, it’s for your own good.” You tell him, and he nods. “Now what’s the lesson?”
“To listen to you and follow the rules.” Ren responds, and you smile at him before kissing his cheek.
“Promise you won’t ever misbehave like that again.” You put out your pinky, and he intertwines his own with yours. Ren takes pinky promises very seriously, so you doubt he’ll break it. “Alright, you can watch thirty minutes of TV, but you’re still punished tomorrow and the day after that.”
“Okay. Thank you, mommy.” Ren says before running out of your room, and you stand up. You catch a glimpse of Satoru near the doorway and you signal him to come inside. When Satoru is inside, you smile at him.
“Thank you.” You tell him, going back to packing up your suitcase. Satoru decides that he’s going to try and help you when he doesn’t know what you need.
“It’s my job. We can’t have a disrespectful and entitled child.” Satoru replies, and you’re about to make a joke about it, but you bite your tongue knowing that it isn’t wise. You end up patting his back. 
You don’t really pay attention to Satoru, not until your peripheral vision catches his sudden change in color. His face is burning red when he opens a drawer that he isn’t supposed to open.
“Oh that’s– Not mine.” You’re completely embarrassed. You shouldn’t be, it’s just Satoru. You have a literal child together, and that didn’t magically happen. But your relationship with him has clearly changed. “The toys are… My friend’s.”
“Yeah… They’re your friend’s.” Satoru ends up chuckling, closing the top drawer. “You don’t have to lie to me. I know better than anyone that you have certain needs.”
“Satoru, shut up. You’re making it worse.” Your face is hot. “Matter of fact, go watch TV with Ren.”
“Fine, but don’t say I didn’t try to help you!” Satoru walks out of the room, and you lay down on your bed, grabbing your pillow and screaming into it.
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It’s hard for you to wake up the next morning, but luckily your child doesn’t have an issue waking up. He knows that you’re going on a trip with his father, and he’s beyond excited. He’s finally getting on a plane though, and not just any plane but a private one (although he doesn’t know that detail). It’s nice to have someone that’s so energetic when all you want to do is sleep.
Satoru waits in his car for the two of you, sending the chauffeur up to help with your luggage. Throughout the whole car ride, Ren enthusiastically talks, knowing that he’ll be going to the beach soon. It’s a fifty minute drive to the airport, and he nearly drives you insane, but you have to remind yourself that he’s simply excited. 
“I call dibs for Ren as my seat buddy.” Satoru says when the chauffeur opens the door for him. Satoru gets Ren out of his booster seat, and practically runs to the entrance of the plane. You slowly follow behind them. You can’t really complain about Satoru stealing Ren for the plane ride because while you love your son, this morning he’s too energetic for you to handle.
You take a seat far away from them, deciding that you’ll take a nap during the plane ride. You barely slept last night so you certainly need the energy for when you land. But Ren doesn’t see that logic, he just wants his mother close to him, so when you take a seat far away from the pair, Ren leaves his seat and goes to you. He grabs your hand and tries to pull you up, “There’s a better seat.”
You almost groan before standing up, but you follow him. You take a seat across from the pair, putting in headphones. Before you can put on some music, Satoru says, “Do you really want to try to fall asleep now? Before takeoff?”
“Fine, I’ll stay awake for now.” You answer. You begin to listen to Ren talk, simply staring at him as your eyes grow heavy. You’re not sure how much time passes but Satoru certainly does, a frown overtaking his face.
“Why is it taking so fucking long?” Satoru asks, and you glare at him for his language. He realizes and quickly says, “Sorry, Ren.”
Satoru stands up with the intent of asking a staff member but just as he begins to walk, he realizes the reason why it’s taking so long. He crosses his arms, a sigh escaping his lips. “What do you need, Sayo?”
“Just wanted to accompany my dear husband on his business trip. I need a vacation too, you know?” Sayo responds, already fully in vacation mode. She pokes her head to the side, since Satoru blocks her view. She calls out your name and waves at you, and panic begins to settle in your body. She moves Satoru to the side to take a seat next to you, and that’s when she sees Ren.
“Satoru!” Sayo looks at her husband, although she raises her voice but not of anger… But of excitement? “You didn’t tell me you were bringing your son along!”
940 notes · View notes
aritamargarita · 4 months
Text
SOLITUDE || 001
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hello and welcome to the debut of solitude. to all my current readers, you already know what’s up, but to new and curious readers, this installment is based off of climbing the food chain of wwe, taking place in mostly the modern era, so there are superstars spanning from 2013 the earliest to 2022..
just let me cook on the timeline a little bit okay, you'll like it LOL. there’s a lot of Twitter segments in this so i hope it’s not annoying, they’re going to die down for the most part later i promise
without further ado, please enjoy!
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TODAY IS THE first day of your call up. The support you’ve gotten from your friends from the training center was wonderful, but you’re still feeling antsy and incredibly nervous. Hopefully, your first day on the brand goes well..
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Shawn Michaels was the one to break the news that you were getting called up. You could remember it so clearly because you completely ambushed him with an excited hug once he dropped the bomb on you.
He had patted your back and told you to lighten your grip a little bit, but not without a grin on his face.
If it’s one thing you deserve, it is the chance to expand your career. You always came early, and you were always prepared to learn.
You weren’t sure how to feel when he told you that you’d be heading to the main roster.
You only started as a superstar on the indie circuit and are only used to being on much smaller channels and local shows. You couldn’t even imagine being on WWE, which was broadcast on national television!
He had seen the look on your face and quickly tried to do damage control.
“We’re soft-launching you, or however you kids say it these days,” He told you. You think he grumbled something about how social media was confusing, but you brushed him off. “As an interviewer, I mean.”
“Huh..” You give a shrug. “As long as I can wrestle sometime.”
He had assured you that you will, sooner than you think, but they just wanted to focus on your speaking. Once they (and you), were more confident, they’d allow you to be in much more opportunities.
Such is life, you guess. Get through these obstacles for a bigger reward. You gave your gratitude to Shawn as you had a lot to look forward to.
If you’re not mistaken, WWE had already posted a teaser on their twitter. For some reason, you would find yourself constantly checking the tweet.
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@WWE ✓
We hear someone is entering the scene… 👀
1.2K reposts 120 quotes 14K likes
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—is what it said. The flurry of tweets under it were mixed. Lots of people wanted to know what the deal was, though some were already speculating it was an old star coming back.
However, the few fans that knew of your work had their guesses. Some of the pictures you posted on Instagram were cryptic hints, but you knew how the internet was. Crazy detective work..
But anyhow, people around the training center know that you’re pretty introverted. You only came to get some work done and go home. It was hard for others to get to know you at first.
They like to call you shy, but you’ve started to hate that word the more it’s used. It holds you back too much. You won’t make it far if you’re stuck with that description for your entire life.
Fortunately, they know what you lack in words is made up for in the ring. There’s no question that you’re good, you just tend to get nervous when speaking to the public.
At heart, you knew they wanted to help you out, and they wanted you to become the best you can be! If you start practicing, you’re sure to be a star!
As motivating as it sounds, it’s still stressful. Going out of your comfort zone was nothing new. It’s a given if you want to wrestle properly, but it still makes you uneasy.
You know you’ve gotta put your best foot forward and do this despite it. This was your only chance, and you absolutely can’t mess this up.
Most of the people still training had given you their well wishes. It’s heavily appreciated; after all, you won’t see them anymore unless they’re called up there themselves.
You think you’ll miss Carmella the most. She was your training buddy, and you think she was the most excited about you getting called up. You hope that she’ll be next soon enough….
As of right now, you look tired. You damn sure feel tired.
It causes you to lie down on the floor of the locker room. It probably wasn’t the best idea, but fuck it. You’ve already made a bad decision by staying up all night out of excitement. It’s starting to come back to you.
Of course, you came to the arena a little too early. (which was an inside joke between coaches, you’re too punctual for your own good..)
You were sure most of your coworkers hadn’t arrived yet, and you weren’t sure if you wanted to see them. It’s not that you don’t want to, you’re just nervous to meet them.
Especially since you’ll probably be half asleep and may forget their names.
Much to your misfortune, a woman comes in, sunglasses on and suitcase handle clenched in hand.
She only lowers them with a finger once you’re in view. “Oooh,” She starts, then clicks her tongue. It’s apparent that she’s mocking you already. “..You look like trash.”
“Thanks,” You say with a sigh. “It’s so appreciated.”
This is not a good start. You make the move to get up off the comfortable ground and the woman puts a hand on her hip.
She’s not very amused, moving a free hand to flip her blue hair. “Did they get me a personal makeup artist? Or…are you just everyone’s stylist? Never seen you here before.”
“I’m new. An interviewer.” You say. Giving yourself that title feels much weirder than saying you were a wrestler. “Pray tell, who am I talking to?”
She’s a little taken aback by the cynical tone in your voice but takes her sunglasses off. This woman doesn’t think she’s met her match yet.
“Of course you don’t recognize a celebrity when you’re in front of one. Let me refresh your memory a bit. How does this sound? The boss, the blueprint, the standard!” She pauses for a bit for dramatic effect. “…Sasha Banks. And I better not have to repeat myself. Who exactly are you?”
“You have a pretty name.” You start off with. Honestly, you didn’t want to make an enemy out of her as much as she wanted to make one out of you. You hope she could see that. “I’m [Name], and you’re right. I am new. Maybe we can get to know each other a bit more.”
It actually seems to work because she falters for a second. “…What?”
You hold out your hand to her and she looks at it for a moment before shaking it with a scowl. Before you realize it, she’s already taking her hand back.
“I’m assuming you’re wrestling? Do you have a match?” You quickly ask, not giving her a second to recover. “I’d like to interview you after if you do.”
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Sasha drops her suitcase. She’s unsure if she could stand your bright personality for a second longer. You’re going to be a problem in the future. “Sorry, not sorry, but you’re a nobody. What’s the point?”
“It was worth a try. But if that’s what you want I won’t force you.” Sasha rolls her eyes at your response. You’re way too nice. “At least tell me, do you think it’s fun here?”
“Fun?” She repeats. “Tch, I know you didn’t just ask if it was fun. Get real. There’s nothing fun about being here. There’s only one thing that matters, and it’s the Divas Championship. Got it?”
“Got it.” You nod. Divas Championship…duly noted. You don’t think you’ll be going for it anytime soon. “Who’s got it?” You’ll have to ask if the standard Women’s Championship was still in circulation as well.
“AJ Lee.” She answers. It’s the least snarky answer she’s given you so far, but she reverts back to it. “I swear, I’m gonna drag her ass across the mat for that title. She makes me sick with her skipping around.”
You voice your thoughts. “She skips?” That’s one way to get to the ring. You’re curious now. “I wonder if I can interview her…she must have a lot to say about her reign so far.”
“What?” Sasha’s immediately offended. “Um, no. Who says you’re interviewing her first? You’re obviously going to interview me first.”
It’s contradictory to what she’s said before, but because of it, there’s a smile growing on your face. She notices and jabs her index finger toward you. “You can wipe that smile off your face, rookie.”
“So be it. I will see you afterwards.” You agree to interview her, doing your best to fight the smile off.
Sasha huffs and leaves the room for now. Your eyes follow her, and once she’s gone, you shrug to yourself. Wow.
Well, that’s one way to get an interviewee.
Almost seconds after her departure, your phone vibrates and you see it’s a notification from Twitter. After that, the tweets start to flow in.
What now?
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@SashaBanksWWE ✓
I ALWAYS come first. Don’t forget that, rookie. @Officially[Name].
4.1K reposts 250 quotes 45K likes
@No1DivazStan: Wait…?
↳ @Sashabanksfan109: Literally like who is that??? What is she talking about?
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Oh boy. Now people actually are getting the idea. She even went as far as tagging you. You’re already starting to have people follow you.
Including Sasha, which was a plus!
You’re confident about things for a moment until the thought of having to talk to her live circles back. Shit, you might start to freak out a little.
You hope Sasha wouldn’t be too harsh on you, even if it were wishful thinking. Sasha’s gonna come in hot, especially if she loses. You have no choice but to adjust.
A few more moments of silence pass, and suddenly the floor is calling you again.
You immediately lay back down. How long until the show? You take your phone out of your pocket and check the time. 6:45. The show starts at around 7. Maybe 8 if there are any delays.
Would it be wrong if you took a quick nap? It’ll only be 15 minutes, but it might just be enough to keep you going for the rest of the night.
You’re already closing your eyes. You know you’re going to be unable to hit any major stages of sleep, but even just laying like this is nice.
Until the door opens. You’re shooting up from your spot, almost falling over in the process.
“I WASN’T SLEEPING.” You clarify, doing your best to stand up. The woman, who’s not Sasha this time, looks at you in confusion.
She points a finger at you. “Ya’ sure about that? From the looks of it, it seemed like you were knocked out for a second.” Her accent is the first thing that catches your attention as she starts to motion towards you.
“No, no, not at all.” You try to defend. “Can’t a woman stretch on the floor in peace?”
“Seriously, you call that stretching?” Before she can make any more sarcastic comments toward you, she turns to look at you. “I’ve never seen you around before. Got a name?”
She is trying her best to identify you to no avail. You hop up to your feet, then hold your hand out to her. “[Name]. I’m just an interviewer right now, yeah. I’m new. Who are you?”
“Becky. Becky Lynch.” She introduces, taking your hand to shake it firmly. You swear you’ve seen her before, too. Probably on Twitter. Guess Becky isn't the only one with deja vu.
You pray you wouldn’t forget her or Sasha’s name for that matter. You can’t fight the urge to yawn.
“Someone’s tired. You should go get some water before you pass out. Looks like you’ve seen a ghost.”
This is a nice change of pace from Sasha. Despite you trying to kill her with kindness, she’s just all kinds of intimidating, while this woman is…okay.
Water may do the trick. It might just be cold enough to wake you up. “Good idea. Anywhere I can get some?”
“Should be a cooler down the hall to your right.” She informs. “See, I’d offer to get it for you, but I’ve got a match to get ready for.”
“Well, thanks anyway.” But before you leave, Before you leave, you turn over to her. “This may be an assumption, but are you going against Sasha Banks?” You ask. You could be wrong, but it’s worth a shot to see.
She nods at you. “Smart girl. How’d you know?”
“I talked to her a bit earlier. She wouldn’t exactly tell me she was going in a match, but I guess it was safe to assume it was you.” You say. “If you’d like to be interviewed, I’ll be waiting backstage.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” Becky says. She’s more concerned about you getting your water. “Go, I might be here when you get back. Don’t pass out.”
You make a noise to let her know you heard her. Did you make a new friend? You think so.
You’re still a bit disoriented from the lack of sleep. You only made it a few steps down the hall before forgetting the direction she told you to go. Great.
This hallway seemed horribly long. The more you walked, the more you felt like it extended somehow. You need a nap, but you don’t think you’re going to get it until retiring back to your hotel room.
A group of men dressed in what seems to be tactical clothes are sitting around nearby, and you find yourself approaching them in a sudden spur of confidence. It’s probably because you’re tired.
“Excuse me,” you call. All three of them look at you with curious looks, and you feel like you could just up and die right there.
Doesn’t exactly help that they’re all kind of attractive, either.
“Where can I get some water? It feels like I’m dying here.” You ask, using your hand to rub the side of your face.
To them, you looked like you had just completed a damn marathon run. One of them with short brown hair whispers something to another with half-blonde, half-black hair, and you look between them curiously.
You don’t have time for whispers. You want water. It makes you think about purposely passing out in front of them. Rude and manipulative, sure, but you’re not here to gossip!
The other one speaks up to you instead. He’s also got long hair, but you think the most noticeable thing was his sleeve tattoo. You may have been staring too long because he snapped his fingers to get your attention.
At least he wasn’t glaring at you. There was a handsome smile on his face. “You there? Don’t tell me we’ve lost you already. You just got here.”
“Sorry. I’m really tired.” You admit. “Really, REALLY tired. Water would be nice.”
“To your left,” He says. “Should be one over there.”
The exasperation in your voice is ever present when you say: “Thank you!”. You’re dying here. You’ll have to come back and thank your only savior after replenishing yourself. Turning away, you head in the direction he told you.
You don’t hear the snickering behind you as you leave. Too busy thinking about hydration at this point.
Going further down, you see that there still is no water cooler. You’re only met with a dead end, and though there are doors, the signs only tell you that they’re just control rooms.
You’re confused. Why would he send you that way? You turn around and head back the way you came as it must’ve been an honest mistake.
You see them still sitting there with smiles. “Hey, excuse me,” you call, waving your hand. “There’s no water over there. Are you sure it’s that way?”
“We know.” The man who gave you instruction earlier had said. “We just wanted to mess with you a bit. Go that way.” First day on the job and people are already trying to rib you? Goddamn it.
On the bright side, it seemed to be lighthearted. Or so you hope.
This time, you hope, he points the correct way. The only thing you can do is let out a sigh and move forward. You don’t even stay to listen to anything else he says.
"Don't take it to heart!" One of them yells behind you.
You scoff to yourself. This time, they redeemed themselves because you found that lovely water cooler. You immediately pick up the pace and reach out to snatch a cup.
Finally, cold water. You're sure you'll wake up this time. You're almost half tempted to pour some on your face, but you aren't THAT unhinged. Besides, you don’t want to waste it.
The moment you lift your cup and and take a refreshing sip, someone saying “hey” makes you look over, and you nearly spit your drink out.
The guy that had given you the wrong direction had come around. You cough up bits of water, holding a hand on your chest. “Why?! God, you scared the hell out of me!”
“Sorry.” He apologizes. You’re not so sure if it’s sincere. “Stephanie McMahon told me about you. You’re [Name], right?”
It takes you a second to reply and he looks at you expectantly. You hold your hand up. “Uh, yeah. Yeah, that’s me.” You nod.
“Roman,” He introduced himself back, setting his hands on the vest of his tactical gear. “I know it’s your first day and all, but do you know who’s in charge?”
“….Vince McMahon?” You offer with a shrug.
Roman chuckles, shaking his head. “You were close. But that’s not it. The Authority is the one in charge.” He clarifies to you. “And you’d best be on their side. Tell me, new girl. Do you plan to be on the side of justice?”
Truth be told, you’re a little intimidated. Again.
You wonder if you even had a choice right now. Before you answer him you decide to take a sip of water, this time, without coughing up a lung.
“Justice, what do you mean by that?”
“The Authority is seeking to make sure that everyone keeps in line.” He explains. “We’ve already got a hold on the men’s division, but the women’s division….”
He trails off, looking toward you expectantly.
“I’m just an interviewer.” You hold your hands up in defense. “I don’t know anything about wrestling. Like anything.”
A lie, but you don’t exactly want to get involved.
You thought it felt weird to call yourself an interviewer, but now you’re going to hold onto that title until it’s convenient enough for you….
“Don’t give me that crap. I know exactly what you are.” So much for that. Roman gets closer to you and you move back just a little. It doesn’t do much, because he’s still in your space.
You’re starting to feel cornered.
“And what I don’t appreciate is people lying to me. Listen, [Name]. Pretty girls like you are always smart. If you knew what’s good for you, you’d better—“
“Hey guys!” A new voice makes you look over Roman. “Roman…and….who’s this?” He points a finger over to you.
“[Name].” You say. This guy might be your potential savior.
He doesn’t really pester any further than that, oddly enough. “Cool. You guys wanna take a selfie?” Before you two could even answer, he’s already approaching with a phone in hand.
“Wait,” You try to stop him. “I’m not ready—“
All Roman does was glare at the camera while you were holding out your hand toward it. He’s already took it and you were caught in the worst off guard moment.
“You guys better get ready for Raw. It starts in like five minutes.” The man recommends. “Thanks for the selfie.”
He saunters off and Roman shakes his head. After the stranger had made some distance, he finally speaks to you. “I can’t stand Theory’s dumbass.”
“Theory?” You repeat. “Who?”
“Austin Theory.” He clarifies. “Won’t stop taking those stupid selfies. It’s all the goddamn time.”
You slowly nod, but take advantage of the fact Austin had said there’s only five minutes until Raw starts. “Gosh. This was such a nice meeting, but I had better get going. You know, interviews and stuff to do.”
Roman says nothing, so you take the opportunity to side-step and walk past him. However, he doesn’t let you get far before saying…
“Better think about what I said. You don’t have much time.”
You’re hoping that wasn’t a threat. And now that you think about it?
He didn’t even apologize for leading you the wrong way!
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You were just trying to get ready to be on television. You did everything you could to stand out for your debut, despite some people knowing that you’d show up sometime.
You can only imagine the pre-show talks around on social media. God, you hope you weren’t sweating. You think you’re just overreacting, but you feel like you’re gonna cry.
If you weren’t awake before, you sure are now.
Your phone starts buzzing again on the vanity you were seated at. The stylist who was helping you get things together had stepped away earlier, leaving you be with your thoughts.
Until now. The moment you pick up your phone and open Twitter, you groan.
Roman was right about the selfies being stupid.
Austin had posted it on Twitter. The only thing you’re really focused on is yourself. You look a disheveled mess and you’re happy you could fix yourself up a little bit right now.
You’re reeling as you read some of the responses. Although, some were funnier than others…
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@Theory_1 ✓
Roman and some new girl are here today! I caught them in their natural habitat.
1.8K reposts 130 quotes 37K likes
@annsweet_: OMG FREE HER???? WHY DOES SHE LOOK SCARED LMAO
↳ @Lilgrab$78: Nah fr they holding her hostage in there
@Biilionnsmind: Are you serious? [Name] Theory AND Roman? This has gotta be the multiverse
↳ @YourChampion0: Not gonna lie they might be an item. Guess we’ll see if they have something going on or they just were filming something.
@bellstrings: Wait not too much on [Name]…face card is still ACTIVE and ready to TAP!
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Along those lines of being mentioned, Austin had followed you as well. But seeing yourself being the talk of others is just surreal. You’re happy about it.
“Hey, [Name].” A stagehand calls. “You’re on in about 2 minutes. You’ll be interviewing Sasha Banks. It’s the only person you’ll be doing, so you’re free to go home after.”
Alright then. You hop up out of your seat. You looked good enough, so you didn’t exactly need that stylist to come back. Your time to shine.
You let the stagehand lead the way to where you’re supposed to be positioned. It’s a nice set up, you think. There’s a red curtain behind you as well as a television settled with “Raw” displayed on it.
“Sasha lost because of interference.” The stagehand informs you. “She’ll go on about the details. But just ask her some questions. She should be here any second now.”
You’ll try. The camera is already settled in front of you, waiting for the go ahead. As soon as he said that, Sasha comes storming into the room. He signals toward the both of you that he’s rolling.
“Wow, Sasha..!” You exclaim, shaking your head. “That was definitely……a match.”
Sasha looks at you with a scowl. “You think?! Becky only got lucky because AJ came out all peppy. I almost had her.” She complains. “I had Becky in the Bank Statement. She was about to tap…”
She literally has to stop talking and take a breath before she loses it. Everyone, even the crowd, can tell that she’s STEAMING.
“…Uh, do you think you’ll need help in the future for AJ? It looks like she’s posing a really big threat to you.” You say. “Cause’ if you’re asking me, it looks like you may need a future tag partner.”
You’re going steady, despite the fact your hand may or may not be shaking a bit. You’re just glad that this segment wasn’t out in the ring. You tilt the mic over to Sasha.
All you had to do was pretend like the camera wasn’t there and that you were having a simple conversation. Everything’s just fine.
You had hoped she would understand that you were insinuating that you could be of assistance, but she takes it the wrong way.
“What, you think I’m not good enough?” She challenges, stepping closer to you. “You think I can’t beat AJ on my own? She’s the one that needs help. That’s why she gets Tamina to do her dirty work. Let me remind you that I’m Sasha Banks. I was the NXT Women’s Champion. The Boss can handle herself in battle and she damn sure doesn’t need someone that’s gonna hold her back.”
“I get it, jeez. I was trying to help you, Sasha.” You explain. It might be a chance to get you active in the ring.
“Aren’t you supposed to be doing your job and asking me questions? I don’t need your help.” She fires back.
Whatever. You just shrug it off. “Fine. You want questions, I’ll give you questions. You tagged me on Twitter. When you tagged me on Twitter, was that you trying to put me on notice?”
It’s easy for her to bounce off of what you said.
“You clearly act like you have no idea who I am. Maybe now you’ll get a clue. As a matter of fact, you better leave that fake little sweet innocent act at the door, cause I see right through you.”
“What act? I’m just being me.” It’s true. You really are!
“Right, and Becky must be the best wrestler on the planet…hah! That’s hilarious even thinking about it.” Sasha falls into a laugh, and you fight the urge to smile at her contagious laugh. Instead, you wipe it off in order to look confused.
She takes a breath. “You know what? You wanna help me, prove it to me. You and me, a match next Monday. I know that you’re not gonna do well, but I’ll have fun destroying you anyways, rookie.”
This was your chance!! You can’t fight the excitement, so you immediately agree. “Yes! I mean, yeah. Absolutely. It’s a match, Sasha. Shake on it?”
You offer your free hand to her. Despite her gritting her teeth, she takes it.
Sasha thinks you’re too excited, but she’d be lying if she wasn’t curious to see how you’d fare against her.
Your first match is against Sasha Banks. Thinking about it seemed so surreal. You’ve got a lot to prepare for next Monday.
Sasha’s eyes seem to catch onto something behind you and she groans, snatching her hand back. “Not her—“
“I wasn’t expecting you here, Sasha!” There’s a woman who’s slightly shorter than you that comes over with a championship tucked over her arm. This must’ve been the Divas championship, if the words on the butterfly weren’t evident enough.
“You know, not after you lost. Thought you would’ve went home by now!” She holds onto it even tighter once Sasha gave her a nasty look.
“You must be AJ Lee?” You try to divert some of the tension. “It’s nice to see the divas champion face to face.”
Sasha gags, but AJ giggles at your words. She rubs a hand over the butterfly, looking at you. “Oh pssssh, this? It’s nothing major…it just means I’m the best, but seriously, nothing major. Oh, and Sasha? Sorry Tamina made you lose focus…no hard feelings?”
Sasha rears her fist back and you immediately try to jump in the middle of them. Might’ve been a dumb decision, but it made Sasha immediately freeze once you did. You’re not even sure if AJ flinched.
You’re planted firmly in between them without any plans of moving anytime soon. “Woah, woah woah, can we hold off on the fighting PLEASE?! Why don’t you guys settle it in the ring, just like me and Sasha are?”
“You guys…” AJ looks between you two. “…are wrestling each other? Huh.”
You nod at her. “Yeah. I think you should follow suit. It’s obvious you two have problems.”
“Well, you’re right. It’s not like can’t beat you again, Sasha!” AJ chimes. “Anyway, I’m going to go polish my title! Don’t wait up for me, ladies!”
And just like that, AJ skips off. Sasha slowly turns to look at you and the only thing you can do is look back at her.
“I don’t care,” She starts, pointing a finger at you. “You’re helping in whatever happens, rookie.”
“What?! Why me??” You whine. “This isn’t my issue, the only thing I’m worried about is our match.“
As she’s said earlier, she doesn’t care. “You heard me. All you’ve gotta do is be ready. When I tell you to do something, you go.”
She leaves you with that. An exasperated sigh falls from your lips.
You’ve got more than just your match to worry about now..
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#RAWTonight
@WWE ✓
A nearly explosive confrontation tonight on Raw between AJ Lee, [Name], and Sasha Banks. Watch below! 👇🔥
6.7K reposts 310 quotes 67k likes
@xXHibiscus: THE GIRLS ARE FIGHTING!???!!!
↳ @WomenofWWE: Yess! This is what we need, a strong three-way feud! The newbie, the underdog, and the champion. The storylines kind of have been getting boring. I wouldn’t mind Sasha & [Name] vs AJ, or maybe even AJ & [Name] vs Sasha.
↳ @RaeFed: [name] might’ve just saved us hold on
@RoseGambler: [Name] trying to be a peacemaker 😭
↳ @101Mariposa: SASHA WAS LITERALLY ABOUT TO ROCK AJ PLEASE. SHE NEEDS TO MOVE
↳ @ThenNowForever: Why she hit the “Sasha, this isn’t you”??
@MarkPodcast: Never heard of [Name]..…is she new?
↳ @platinumstarred: yeah she was mainly on the indies, wasn’t bad at all like she was rlly good
↳ @MarkPodcast: Hopefully she’ll stay good while she’s here!
@Feistysummer: Sasha saying she doesn’t need help…then turns around and tells [Name] that she’s going to help LOL
↳ @Divas4L: They’re definitely going to be friends, if not best friends in the future..
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chrollohearttags · 1 year
Text
musician eren x black influencer wife imagines p2. (dating phase)
this is still going to be a full series, it’s just taking a while to finish the first chapter! 😭
themes: both sfw and nsfw, phone sex, kinda pervy (ish) eren, back shots, pussy eating, unprotected sex, slight mention of angst, spoiled rotten reader 🤭
from that night on in the club, the two of you were attached at the hip. Always talking in your little bit of free time and following each other (and you’re like one of the only four people he does). He even throws a few comments on your pictures and everybody loses it because he never does that.
all the stan accounts on Twitter swear that y’all are fucking and he does nothing to correct it either. Because he wishes it were true. Even likes some of the tweets just to throw everybody off.
“Shit, if they say it’s true, then I guess it is. I’m not clearing up a damn thing. Let ‘em think what they want.” (he’d never tell you but sometimes, he ‘relieves stress’ by daydreaming about what it would be like.)
would sometimes scroll your feed and when he’d see a video of you on the pole or even twerking in some string bikini, it’d get him all riled up and he’d become frustrated until he couldn’t take it.
eren really hadn’t seen or been intimate with anyone in years so he was a little rusty when it came to communication. He hadn’t had to worry about another person or check in so he’d go hours or even days without responding but when he did, he was happy to talk to you.
“..sorry ‘bout that. Just been working a lot. I missed you though.”
baby boy was committed to you and his music only so you knew he wasn’t capping. You wouldn’t have to worry about his ass cheating..ever! Too much effort and he was infatuated.
you didn’t press him too much because you respected his hustle and he done the same. Having a woman around that was about her bread and none of the bullshit was a sigh of relief. Even though your job was social media, you never engaged the rumors and kept your business private.
the sexual tension between y’all is CRAZY though. It’s even more fun than the act itself. The texts, the teasing..the FaceTime calls! That’s where it gets real nasty. Masturbating for each other when you were alone, telling you all the things he wanted.
“I’m putting it in your guts when I see you..fucking you on sight, for real..”
there were no worries of him taking advantage or using this to label you as a ho. He appreciated that you’d even share such intimate things with him. Things that the rest of the world couldn’t see.
which is why it was all the more fun when the two of you linked up and made those fantasies a reality. You’d come by his studio when you were in town, wearing something tight just so he’d want to rip it off.
“..you wore this just for me? Pretty ass..I love it.” Something about those compliments from him just hit DIFFERENT. 😫 damn the Instagram comments.
he always made your wait well worth it. You’d heard his lyrics so you knew his ass was some pressure..but nothing could prepare you for it. Sometimes you’d only have about 48 hours together and he wanted to spend 24 of them fucking the shit out of you.
tells everybody not to hit his line for a damn thing while you’re here because he has ‘important business to handle.’
from eating your pussy in the front seat of his Wraith after dinner (loves when you grab his hair and puts his face in it)
HE DEFINITELY EATS IT WITH HIS GRILLS IN TOO! The bottom row with gold slugs and diamonds in them!!!!!
to letting his chain hit your face while he’s deep stroking your shit. Loves back shots on the balcony and making you squirt.
was low key scared he’d either come too quick or hurt you but even after all that time, he still had it. You didn’t make it easy though!
talks you through those nuts so good, you’re two seconds from living in his skin. “I know, baby. I know…and you’re doing so good. You taking this dick just like you said.” (and it’s big too bitch like omg! 🥴)
honestly, he had always been a freak but he couldn’t just give that dick to anybody because he’d definitely created a couple of stalkers in his lifetime and it wasn’t fun. You were the person to bring out that side again. Because of it, everyone notices a change in his mood and how much happier he seems.
although you never pressed him about making things official, it never made it easier when you had to leave again and go your separate ways. None of it felt real..he knew he wanted you but he was scared of commitment and screwing it up.
causes a little bit of a rift for a minute and you question if he’s just using you for album inspo or a quick fuck.
but when you’re packing to head to the airport one morning; tears in your eyes and ready to break down, he pulls you to his chest and says what you had been waiting to hear.
“…I don’t want you to go, (y/n). I love you..but we’re both grown and got things we’re chasing. So we’ll do whatever to make this work..promise.”
and he sticks to that..months pass..y’all are going strong and are happier than ever. You spend every second that’s possible together and even learn to take a few extra days for yourselves. Taking trips out of the country to just to stay out of the cut and makes you his top priority.
gifts of every variety from Birkins to jewelry, he cops it for you. Much like everything he does, he perfects it and is the ideal boyfriend.
You’re spoiled rotten, having your way on and offline and even he has to admit it’s cute watching you flex your new things..leaving everyone to speculate who’s sponsoring. But that’s y’all’s little secret. The relationship is wonderful and the best one you’ve ever had.
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blasphemecel · 4 months
Text
Michael Kaiser — On Your Knees
PAIRING: Michael Kaiser/Reader WORD COUNT: 2.9k TYPE: Humor, Teasing, ERM I think y/n and kaiser might like each other 🤓 WARNING: Suggestive sorry (flirting is only verbal but explicit at times)
Kaiser always looks alright with his hair wet. Not, like, stunning or anything, but passable. Then you know it’ll start standing up in weird ways after it dries a little and he’ll ask Ness to help him with it — which, embarrassing, by the way.
But anyway. You wanted to check out the communal bath after you took a shower, figured you’d be alone because it was already bordering on late, and Kaiser followed you because why wouldn’t he. Not like you value your peace and solitude or anything. He can be such a pest sometimes.
You were telling him what Isagi told you — it’s called a sento and apparently it’s different from the more popular onsen — and he said you weren’t ‘worldly’ and that you weren’t ‘impressing him’ and then some more about how ‘everyone knows this.’ Shithead. You should spit in his breakfast tomorrow, if you remember.
Well, you like sitting in the bath, at least, so you’re not too sour right now. Even Kaiser being right next to you can’t ruin it.
“I like this Raichi guy,” you say.
Kaiser shakes his head a little to show you he disapproves. “Don’t tell me you mingle with them. Also, the guy’s always benched. He’s second-rate.”
“No, listen, he was telling me about this sexy soccer motto he has. I really wanna know what it’s about.”
“You’re embarrassing. If you’re in my entourage, you should act like it.”
“Dude, you’re just mad at Isagi ‘cause he was trending on football twitter more than you were that day,” you say.
“I’m not!”
Very persuasive argument coming from him here. It’ll take a lot out of you to take it apart. He’s fuming about it, too. Maybe it’s not so bad Kaiser came along if you can poke fun at him.
“I don’t know why you’re the favorite on the team, anyway,” you say. “They all die over your corny tattoo and not to mention how much you love showing it off. Not cool at all.”
“You wish you were me. Now you’re being jealous because no one likes you, and it’s making you look even uglier than usual,” says Kaiser, seeming to believe himself if the smug look on his face is anything to go by.
“I mean, I had a girlfriend till recently, you know.” Kaiser rolls his eyes, but you ignore him. He’s always doing this, pretending he doesn’t want to hear you. “She had this botched blue dye job and said things like ‘pussy power,’ with the crystals in her room and the tarot cards and all.”
“Yeah? Sounds great. Did you pick her up after a match, loser?”
You click your tongue and wag your finger at him just to be annoying. “No, I don’t fool around with fans. Seems more like your forte.”
He flicks the offending finger away. “I’ve never done that, you slanderous pig.”
“No, but listen, she didn’t care about football at all. She didn’t even know what a scissor kick is. Ooh, she drove me wild.” You sing the last part, looking up at the ceiling fondly as if you’re recalling a warm memory.
Kaiser narrows his eyes at you, frowning. “You’re one strange individual.” And what a pompous way to put it.
“But anyway, wanna know what kinda tattoo I’d get?”
“I seriously don’t care.”
“A skull with two guns. Hard as fuck.”
“You’re so lame. It’s appalling, and also probably why you got dumped.”
He’s taking the tattoo thing seriously. At least seriously enough to insult you over it. He’s even snickering at you in amusement. His face is always, how can you put it… snide, but he does look a touch more evil when he starts grinning and shit. What a hoot, though. Really.
“Nah, there was this guy. He wore suspenders with plaid polos and these little sweaters over them. They were sustainable. Sustainable. Can you believe it? Sustainable! I didn’t stand a chance.” You poke him on the neck, already distracted from what you were rambling about. Kaiser is going to bring up your low attention span soon, you can smell it on him. It doesn’t take any effort to reach out, though, what with him sitting so close next to you. “This isn’t such a bad spot for a tattoo, actually. I don’t know, maybe you were onto something.”
“Paws off,” he says, swatting you away like a bug. A pedestrian bug, probably, at least in his imagination. “You really wanna fondle me that badly, you’ll use any excuse to do so?”
“Paws!” you repeat, clapping. “You’re hysterical.”
Kaiser rolls his eyes again. He seems to like to do that a lot, at least in your presence. If there was such a thing as competitive eye-rolling, you wager he’d be good at it, maybe even better than he is at football.
“No, but listen-”
“God, I hate it when you say that,” he interrupts with a groan, then contradicts himself by also swinging an arm around your shoulder, pulling you closer just to yawn in your face with great exaggeration. The water is way too hot for this nonsense, so you push him away. “Because I never want to listen to you.”
“You’re crazy. Insane. It’s super clinical. Like, really.”
“Yes, I’m sure, unlike me, you’d pass a psychiatric evaluation because I’m crazy and you aren’t. Of course.”
“Imagine-”
“Can you stop topic-hopping?” Kaiser asks, annoyed. See, you knew he’d bring it up. “Does your head ever hurt with how much bullshit goes through it?”
You shush him. He scowls at you like you’re some mold growing in the bath, but you disregard his expression of disdain. “Imagine you’re having a nice day, I don’t know, at practice. Then I barge in with all of my asshole glory, right, and I walk up to you, and for no reason, I say, ‘On your knees,’ instead of greeting you. Isn’t that kinda deranged?”
Kaiser stares at you. To his credit, he’s decent at maintaining a poker face, but once he’s embarrassed, there’s no hiding it, no going back. Because no matter how much he does his usual male posturing or whatever it’s called, his face is all red, the blush even going up to his ears, mouth wavering the slightest bit. “W-What? In your dreams.”
“Oh, do you like getting bossed around or something?” you ask with the sensitivity of a numb toe. “That’s so pathetic.”
It’s quite the spectacle when his skin somehow becomes even more flush. Sick of your leering, maybe, Kaiser whips around, albeit not all the way, and covers his cheek with his hand while peering at you through his fingers. Finally, he decrees, “You suck,” with too much authority.
“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Forget about me, though. In that situation, do you spit or do you swallow?”
It’s unclear whether you’re getting any gratification out of this besides the satisfaction of flustering him, but you smile in amusement regardless. As if you care about Kaiser sitting there, looking all pretty and nervous because of some nonsense you’d been spewing. Not like you’re crazy about him or anything. That’d be ridiculous. You couldn’t be more unfazed if you tried.
You grab your towel with what you’d call impressive swiftness, then turn around and stand, covering yourself before preparing to go on your merry way. Kaiser pulls you back by the ankle, trying to trip you or something, the menace. Hilarious guy, really.
He is staring up at you in this petulant sort of way, grabbing onto his own towel with his other hand. “Why are you leaving so soon?” he asks, sounding peeved, as if you haven’t been here with him for an unreasonable amount of time already.
“I thought I should give you some privacy since you’re all hot and bothered now,” you say (with this douchebag laugh you have for situations like these, where you’re being a douchebag — self-explanatory), stepping out of his grip. Then you try to imitate his voice, but more high-pitched, accompanying your performance with a few vulgar hand gestures. “Oh, [Y/n], you slanderous pig! I think that’s what you’d sound like.”
“You’re such a lowlife,” he says, before all but leaping out of the bath and trying to maim you right here on the spot, and the only thing to save you from your demise is that he gets lightheaded and almost faints immediately after.
You reach out to pull him up and keep him steady, holding him by the arms. “You can’t be jumping out of the bath like that, man, come on.”
The lack of response concerns you, but after a while, Kaiser gathers his wits enough to say, “I’m going to make you slip, and I’ll be praying you split your head open.”
You burst out laughing. “Do it, then. You don’t have it in you, do you?”
Instead of doing as he promised to retaliate to your provocation, he settles for letting go of you and glaring, before clutching the side of his head and going still again. If there was any medical wing in this goddamn football contraption, maybe you would’ve taken him, but alas. At least you don’t need to worry about Kaiser too much since he eventually concedes and holds onto your arm for support.
The sight of you two stumbling around towards the changing room is probably comedic — uncoordinated as hell, covering yourselves with these flimsy little towels, using the hands not clutching at the other.
“You’re supposed to drink a lot of water before getting in,” you say.
“It’s your fault! You didn’t warn me we were going.”
“Yeah, ‘cause you weren’t invited. Jeez.”
“Oh, whatever.”
You return the tiny towel to the basket, swapping it for a bigger one and making quick work of drying yourself. You’re slipping on your shirt when you ask, “Is your head all right now?”
“I’m fine.”
When you turn around to judge whether he’s being truthful or not, he’s dabbing himself in a manner which is way more laborious, examining his reflection in the mirror as if he’s in some slow motion commercial where the camera will capture a conspicuous water droplet falling down his neck, admiring his jaw from different angles. He makes you sick sometimes.
“I’m not gonna wait for you to finish checking yourself out.”
He shoos you away with a dismissive wave of his hand. Unlike his, your actions most often align with your words, though, so you do walk out of the door. You’re not even ten steps in when Kaiser reappears, now magically dressed.
“Stop rushing,” he says, pushing you out of the way — and for no reason! There’s enough space for both of you in the hallway. You end up lagging a bit behind him. “I’m dizzy.”
“I thought you said-”
“Blah, blah,” he cuts you off, untying his hair and doing a bad job of smoothing it out with his fingers.
You’re rooming with him and Ness, so you’re already headed in the same direction. As much as this stinks, your other option was Gesner and Grim. God, is fucking Gesner obsessed with dick cheese. Of all things, that’s what he’s always talking about. Grim has your condolences, but the problem is out of your hands now.
“Your hairstyle’s ridiculous.”
Kaiser turns his nose up and smiles, coming off as pleased by the insult. “You can only wish to pull it off.” Always preening like a peacock. He’s entertaining. You swear he is.
You hook one of the ends, where it’s the bluest, around your finger, twirling it around and around. “I had a dream about you recently.”
“Aww, I’m on your mind even when you’re unconscious. I could vomit right now.”
“You were in the meditation position, but you were levitating, and the rat tails were holding you up.”
Maybe you’ve committed some kind of utmost offense, because he doesn’t even bother insisting they’re not rat tails this time. “Wow, those are the kinds of things you dream about me? Your brain is defective to the core.”
“What do you want me to dream about you, then? Are you implying something?”
He faces you, and he has this way of looking at you like you’re a blight on humanity. You have an urge to press your palms against his cheeks to check how warm they get when he blushes, but resist it. “You’re so delusional.”
He’s rolling his eyes again.
“Keep rolling them, see where it gets you.”
“What, are you implying something?” Kaiser asks, mocking you, but he seems kind of happy at the insinuation. You’re not about to point it out, though, having a semblance of self-preservation.
“But anyway, your hair,” you say. “It looks good for tugging on.”
He snorts, either at your audacity to speak such things out loud to him, or at the way you straight up ignored his question.
So you elaborate, just so he doesn’t get the wrong idea, “Yeah, like, I kinda wanna grab you and swing you around till you fly outta my grip.”
“What?! As if.”
“It’d be so funny, though.”
“Maybe to other stupid people like you. Dense people who always ruin the fucking moment, for example, that type of thing.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” you say, stifling a laugh before entering the room.
The lights are still on when you come in. Ness seems to be reading some kind of book, sitting upright and all. “Hey, guys. You were gone for a while.”
“We were,” Kaiser says, you assume just because he likes hearing himself talk. “All that time I can’t get back.”
You crouch down to get him a water bottle in case he forgot how dehydrated he was (or more likely decides he’s above getting it by himself). It’s rare for you to do something out of the goodness of your heart, so when you turn around to pass it and find him draping himself over the solitary bed — the one you won dibs on in an honest round of rock, paper, scissors — you swear to never do anything nice for him ever again.
“Hey, get off! It’s mine.”
“But I want it,” he whines, as if his word holds more weight than the aforementioned game of rock, paper, scissors, which, as already established, you won.
You’re about to make an earnest attempt at throwing him out of the bed until Ness comes to his defense. “Come on, leave him alone.”
Saying no to Kaiser is exceptionally easy. But going against what Ness is asking? You can’t get a read on the guy. He’s either way too happy most of the time, or is secretly plotting your murders for all you know. You toss the water bottle at Kaiser, leaving him to smirk at your relenting.
“By the way, do you mind if I turn the lights off after I do my nighttime routine in the bathroom? I’m kind of tired,” Ness says.
“Sure,” allows Kaiser. So generous and charming with a winning personality to boot, this guy.
You lean against the bunk bed and ask, “Oh yeah, why are you still up?”
“I thought it might be rude if I went to bed before you both came back, so I decided to wait.”
Damn, now you feel kind of bad for dilly-dallying for so long. You clutch your chest with a tasteful sense of drama. “You’re so perfect. Hey, Ness, you wanna take the top bunk?”
“Wow, really?”
“Why not at this point,” you say. After all, Ness came in second in the game, but gave it up to Kaiser, and he ruined everything already.
“Thanks!” He grins at you before rushing off to do his business, almost blinding you with the sweetness he emits. Your gaze trails after him until he leaves the room.
Kaiser is looking at you with a mix between scorn and disgust when you walk over to his side to retrieve your phone from the bedside table, but you pretend not to notice.
Figuring you have nothing better to do, you take Ness’s previous spot, lying down on your stomach, ready to check your notifications. In your peripheral vision, you see Kaiser take his shirt off theatrically, then he has the fucking nerve to throw it at you. He makes such a big show out of existing.
It’s probably more painless to throw him a glance now than to be stubborn, so you exhale out of your nostril in resignation and turn your attention back to him. Kaiser props himself on his elbow while reclining on his side, posing on the bed, gracing you with a bastard smile. Almost presenting himself like a Renaissance painting you’re supposed to admire in some chaste, intellectual kind of way.
“Wanna know something?”
“What?” he asks, apparently irritated since you don’t seem so appreciative of him right now.
“I think shitty, obnoxious guys like you need to be put in their place,” you tell him.
It really is way too obvious on his complexion when he starts getting shy. He’s like a breathing mood ring. It’s almost fascinating. For a second, Kaiser is incredulous, but then he turns smug again, addressing you with a sense of challenge. “Don’t even joke. You’re not really about it like that. All you do is talk.”
You think you’re gonna start having even more fun together after today.
___
No homo I HATE HIM 😍
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