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nualaofthefaerie · 8 months

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Who am I, and why I'll always show where Nuala is mentioned?

So hello guys.

I came to the realization that a lot of people on Tumblr do not know me, and I came kind of suddenly to you guys. So, allow me to tell you who I am and why I hope to become a big part of your "Sandman" experience. I will attach some pictures for references 🩷🪷

My name is Li. My main platform is Twitter. Most of my friends are there too. I hope I can make a lot of mutuals here, too. I came across "The Sandman" one year ago. Now, the Sandman is a wonderful piece of media for people to explore a plethora of dynamics they enjoy. For me, it was a bit of an adjustment.

Before reading the comic, I tried to stan Dreamling. However, for me personally, I very rarely enjoy dynamics with no women in them. That is, of course, me personally. I am not the one who should tell people what they should enjoy. Bi/Pan WLM and WLW, those are dynamics I truly enjoy. However, at the time, I was trying to fit in with what was popular. Truly, it didn't make me very happy because I just don't see it the way Dreamling shippers see it.

So I tried changing my angle. I tried to get into Calliope and Morpheus (I apologise, I do not know if they have their own little ship name). This one fitter me a bit better. However, I have personal issues with the concept of divorce, and I could never quite brush aside the fact that at the end... they were divorced. I even made a Calliope cosplay at the time and met Tom (loveliest person on Earth).

(I envisioned this ballerina Calliope cosplay, and for the most part, I made it work. This was my VERY first attempt at anything.)

He kind of convinced me to just read through the comics. And I did. And it all really fell into place. And Nuala of the Faerie became my spark. I want to make it clear that I love Nuala so much more and so BEYOND Sandflower. She is just so exceptional, so complex. I became SO excited to explore what the Internet could offer on her only to get...nothing. Absolutely nothing. Whatever little official art there was (three-five drawings and it was usually not even Nuala centered, she was just there) and two three pen drawings on DivienArt made in 2010.

Now, one thing about me is that I am persistent as all hell. And it is completely out of line that Thessaly is a "main character," but Nuala isn't. So, in January, I had a very "If no one is going to do it, I will" moment. I began talking about her every day. Analysing, sharing panels, commissioning artists (uni student making commissions, I was kinda of crazy for that one. I made one commission once and then had 20 bucks left for the week to buy food) and every minute since January until today, I do it all for her. Because she deserves to be recognized. Nuala is no less than Lucien/ne or the Corinthian. I have an ask sitting in my inbox that I simply don't know how to answer:

"Why do you think "x" is more popular than Nuala?"

I do not know, to be honest. Frankly, I also try not to care. Because my love for Nuala is not based on bringing other characters of the Sandman down. I do this to uplift her to a status where one day, I won't be the only person on the Nuala tag (I was SO happy the other day when like five new people had made art, SO happy) and not the only one on the Sandflower tag (that is ONLY me for now). And until then, I will be the only one. It's okay. And when I no longer have to be, I will sit back and enjoy the fruits of my hard work.

This may appear very self-centered to those who do not know me, but those who do will tell you I work day and night for her. I have a 70k Sandflower fic, 50k of which is only its first arc, just sitting in my google Docs. I have sketches upon sketches. I talk with artists about more commissions and how to make it so she gets a new outreach. I have conversations and try to introduce her to as many people as possible until they notice her and care for her at least a fraction of how much I do. She inspired me to try sewing and really get to cosplay a SOLID version of her (still working on that).

(I sewed most of the outfit and and it was my second attempt to do anything from scratch. I'll get better at it 🪷🌿🩷)

I like to think she would love it. She only ever longed to be loved. And I love my girl.

So much. We help each other every day. We exist together. And when her actress joins our little triangle, we will make the perfect fairy. The perfect personification of womanhood the way I see it.

My Nuala (Lala, Lali, Lalita, flower, the pearl, sun, if I missed any of my moots nicknames for her, hit me up).

So that's it, dear Tumblr. I am afraid you won't be able to mention Nuala of the Faerie without me because somewhere in May, we started co-existing.

And we are not going anywhere.

Love,

Li and Nuala 🪷🌿🩷

#A little intro meta from me #the sandman #nuala #nuala of the faerie #nuala the sandman #the sandman netflix #the sandman comics #tom sturridge #morpheus #dream of the endless #cosplay #sandman meta #introductory post #admin intro

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pbandjesse · 10 months

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I'm exhausted. Like bone deep exhausted. And it does not help that I'm still in a lot of pain. But now there is new pain too. Because I did to much showing off. When will I learn.

When I got home last night I was just really happy to eat my leftover chipotle with James and then take a hot bath. I kept a rag with the hot water around my shoulders and it helped lessen the pains in My neck. And then I had a little bit of luck with some of the stretches that Mom sent me. They didn't help as much as I was hoping but a lot of the reason is because I can't get my shoulders to drop down and they're like up around my ears. I'm trying very hard but it is not exactly working.

I woke up this morning and I wasn't actually hurting too much. I got dressed and I felt pretty good. My hair feel very dry today but that's okay. I might go and try to get some kind of dry oil at the store tomorrow I don't know if that concerned about it. It was going to be a nice day.

I stopped from McDonald's for breakfast but then they gave me regular cook instead of diet and I was pretty disappointed. And I didn't want to go back so I would end up giving it to PJ because I didn't want it to be wasted.

I got the camp at 8:00 and things were okay. I did not really walk around as much as I have been because I was so sore. So after I made sure everything was set up I got in my hammock and I just chilled until around 9:00.

That's when Candela told me that the tipis were heading to the council right and that she would love my help. So I got to spend a little less than an hour helping out with them and it was so fun.

They had to mix the sand with powder pigment and they needed some more so I remembered that I had some from years ago from day camp so CJ ran up to get the gator bring that down because it was very heavy. And Candela went to go get some rakes so that the kids could get council ring all ready for The image and then they would color it in.

It took a while to get everything ready but once it was ready I had so much fun trying to draw these horses. I did a rough sketch first in the sand as they were raking just to figure out the scale then I had candela look at it and see if it was the right size and what she was looking for. I'm not really very good at drawing horses so this was a little nerve-wracking but it ended up being great. And I was very fast at it so while Candela was supposed to do one and then I was doing one and then we were going to have two other people would on the others I did three of them in the time she did one. So we completely finished the actual drawing and the kids were able to jump right into coloring them in with the sand.

And I just felt so proud. Both of myself for drawing a horse consistently three times even though they were very chunky. And for the kids for doing such a good job tracing it out and coloring it and making it look so beautiful. I hope everyone appreciated it because it looked amazing.

I had told woodlands that I was in the council line because they're always late arts and crafts so I wasn't going to be rushing back up there and even though I didn't get up there to almost 10 I still beat them there. But once I got there they were very sweet and honestly everyone did really good for that. I didn't have really any issues except for a hot glue gun burn later in the day. Everyone else did an excellent job.

Good morning went really well though and I got to work on my blanket which is almost completed. They're still going to be a lot of finishing work and sewing down woven edges and stuff but the actual attaching of the blanket is almost done. I only have The one panel left and then it will be completely put together. And I am so happy. Louisa would come and she was very silly today she did some embroidery then she got bored and she want to try other stuff.

So I showed her how my Ariel silk worked for yoga and she ended up being really good at inverting and so I showed her how to do like a pike and invert and do harness and a backpack not and then we played around with a couple shapes. She's really good at it because I wanted to show off things I know how to do I absolutely bruised my lower back. Feels nice though because I miss doing it I'm just not very strong anymore in my upper body so I was for sure trying to do too much but I was having so much fun and now I want to buy a whole apparatus and get back into it because I love it so much I just hate the classes because I hate waiting. So we'll see what happens but it was really nice to do that and I'm glad that she enjoys it but I'm also very worried about her breaking her head open. Because she was doing it a couple of the other kids wanted to try it including a counselor so I had a couple people walking through how to go upside down and some of the news and I was just watching a lot of heads making sure no one was going to fall. It was just a blast.

At lunch I walk down to the council ringless Louisa to see the finished course painting and it looked so good. Took some pictures and then went to the dining hall to get french fries. The vegetarian option was not done yet and I did not want to wait any longer. And I wasn't that hungry anyway because I had brought my McDonald's sandwich. Now I spent some time just laying in my hammock. I read for a little while. And it was really nice. I was still really sore and my neck was hurting but when I had inverted on the hammock I was able to just kind of let my shoulders go for the first time and it hurt but it didn't feel as tight and so I think I need to work on that a little bit more. Something to think about.

My afternoon groups were great. There was a burn injury which was upsetting. She wasn't even using hot glue gun she was next to someone using hot glue gun and there was a pile of pot glue and she accidentally got her finger on it and my first aid stuff kicked in and I was very calm and I kept reassuring her and I got the hot glue off of her I put her hand under cold water for a few months but she was scream crying and I felt so bad. And I know it hurt because it was big and pink and circular. I called the nurse and while we waited for the nurse I got an ice pack for her and we sat and I just made sure she was okay and I was very calm. I don't ever want to seem dismissive but me freaking out at the same time as her freaking out is not going to help anything. And then once the nurse came up she gave her burn cream and everything was all right nobody was freaked out she was just more upset that she thought she wasn't going to be able to the project just the nurse told her to not use her finger too much. So I would have attach everything but she would direct how to do it and she ended up with a very cute puppy. Everything would be okay.

And tipis would come and I had a great time just chatting with them about siblings and telling stories and listening to their stuff. I taught Aubrey how to make a bracelet on the circle loom. And I kept working on my sewing and it was a good day I was having a lot of fun.

At the end of tipis's program Louisa wanted to show them all how she could do a split in the silk so I let her go up in that and then we were showing off a couple different moves and then it turns out one of the kids also knew how to do it from taking circus classes so we let her go on it and it was just a very silly and a lot of fun. I'm just glad nobody got hurt. I let alexie know that we have been playing around with it and she said that she trusts me and that she's not worried that I would let someone get hurt on profess. Even if we are doing something dangerous I'm making sure we're doing it safely even if we don't have a crash mat.

I wasn't sure if they were going to meet me to stay to help with pick up at the end of the day road really hoping they want because I very much wanted to go home. My neck was hurting still on my back was bruised and my thighs hurt from running the horse last night. Nothing was too bad and wouldn't be until I got home but I really wanted to leave.

I went down to the office to double check that they didn't need me. Annabelle head volunteered to do the bears so I did not have to. And then I waited for Celia to bring a few things up that she had borrowed and I myself together and then I was off.

I drove to home Depot to get the tile adhesive I needed for next week's project. Right before I left I made sure that everything was set up and I know I'm not going to have enough objects but I think it will be okay at least for a couple days. So I worked on that and got everything together and then went to the store. When I got to the store immediately I found a very nice man to show my picture to of what I was looking for but they did not have the one I wanted. So he found me an alternative that was only slightly more expensive and I asked my questions like the cure time and texture and he said it was like a white peanut butter and I said oh the kids call it forbidden green cheese and he literally belly laughed out loud and it was so cute. And I just thought that was the sweetest thing.

After I paid I headed out to my car and there were two girls, young like teenagers or 20 somethings, parked behind me and they were laughing at my stickers and they came out and they told me that I was very cool and that they knew that the person they parked behind was just a really neat person and that made me feel very good and I said I just want people to think that I'm just a little weird. It was a very cute interaction and it everyone drive home.

And the drive home was fine. No traffic or anything but turning my head to look for cars hurts a lot still. I'm doing it but I am for sure turning my whole shoulders.

Once I got home honestly I started falling apart more. Everything started to ache and I think my body up and holding itself together because I couldn't do anything about it and so when I got here I was just like falling apart. James was making us food and they tried really hard but the mac and cheese didn't come out right. It was very salty and very oily. But I really appreciated them trying and we both had hot dogs. I have a vegetarian one for my Kia. It was very good. And then James went and got me acetaminophen from Walgreens because apparently that won't bother my liver as much. Because I just could not function with my neck hurting this much. Like I couldn't turn and look at the coffee table.

Sweet pea late with me and we had some ice cream and it was kind of a rough evening but I was happy to be home and be with the two things I love the most. My husband and my cat.

Eventually I went and took a shower and washed my hair real good. And I felt a little bit more like a person. I got in bed and watch TikToks for a while. Eventually though I was very sore and I just wanted to close my eyes. James came and laid with me and I close my eyes for like a half an hour. But I wanted to get my post done so that I can go to sleep for real because I still have to work at the farmers market tomorrow. And Anna is not going to be there so I have to be in charge the entire time. Which is fine. I'm just sleepy already so I'm not 100% looking forward to it. And then James is going to New York so I'm going to have some time nice but I will also miss them very much.

I hope it's a good day. I hope you all sleep great. And feel better tomorrow. Goodnight everyone.

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arlenianchronicles · 3 years

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Throwback Thursday with an art comparison! (2019 vs. 2020)

Aegnor and Andreth. Funny enough, the second and third paintings are both from Tolkien Secret Santa events XDD

Fingolfin and Hador; the third painting is Turgon and Húrin, but I thought it fitting to include them given that it’s still the same Houses interacting with each other. Also, the first painting is from 2018, and one of my earliest Silm fanart pieces. The 2019 version is a redraw of it.

Eärendil and Elrond. The first painting is part of a three-panel painting. Interestingly enough, while I was scrolling through my old Silm content, I found that the composition and theme of these paintings were pretty much the same. I just like to subconsciously redraw old art, I suppose lololl

Beren and Lúthien. The first painting is from a project where I illustrated nine pieces to go with the Song of Beren and Lúthien.

For anybody wondering, I’m working on some new paintings, but it’s going rather slowly because I’ve been busy with schoolwork ^^;;; It’s reading break this week, but it’s not really a break loll

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ot3 · 3 years

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hey i just read through ur ace attorney au comic and i just wanted to make a list of things i love about it:

-the color choice omg!!! the way u use bold colors to create stark contrasts and silhouettes is so inspired and unique

-i would sell my soul to be able to do composition as creatively as you do

-the expressions! im in love

-gregory....h

-the way you're not afraid to make edgeworth unabashedly an ass. i hate seeing him being an ass but it hits HARD. it really drives the emotions of the whole thing home

-the. the panels wi. with the three. the elevators. and then edgeworth on the stairs. i dont know what fucking emotion it makes me feel but it deals psychic damage while also adding 10 years to my lifespan

-ur style reminds me of the opening of the Great Pretender anime. which is one of my fave anime artstyles so

-(not the absolute fave im sorry but mob psycho 100 will always fuck the hardest)

-d. dahlia....the ncklace.....h

-BABY MIA

-literally everything about part 9. i cant. i cant even words about it

-OK I CAN DO ONE WORDS ABOUT IT AND THAT'S. EDGEWORTH'S FACE WHEN HE WAKES UP I CACKLED

-WHY IS THE BLUE BADGER IN THE FUCKING REALM OF THE DEAD???????????

-the 3d glasses that mia and edgeworth wear

-mia isn't dead she's braindead....is this....a surprise tool that will help us later?

-phoenix choosing all the dumb fuckin investigation options that we didn't choose in our playthrough because neither of us can handle secondhand embarassment

-all the little stylistic flourishes! from the dialogue boxes to the silhouettes to the little rays around miles' alarm clock

in conclusion: outstanding work op

THANK YOU SO MUCH i have put by this point literally hundreds of hours into drawing this comic so getting feedback like this means a ton to me... im glad edgeworth being a complete bastard is hitting because tbh i feel like there's a tendency to underplay exactly how awful edgeworth was when he was at his Awfulest but i think the extremely good redemption arc he gets in canon is a lot more meaningful when you remember that he was genuinely a pretty terrible person who ruined a lot of (very likely innocent) lives without it ever really registering as an issue for him.

i have not actually seen great pretender but i've heard of it and so i just went and watched the opening on youtube and this is a very flattering comparison so thank you! this is exactly the kind of art i like. and mob psycho too, definitely one of my favorites of all time - i was literally just watching it in stream with a friend for the millionth time directly before seeing this ask, and we were as always gushing about how much we like both the directing of the anime and the paneling in the manga. definitely some of my biggest artistic inspiration. i originally wanted to go into the animation industry and never really intended to draw comics so pretty much everything my comics do is to try and attempt to capture the really fun transitions and motions of animation within the confines of a static image, so i'm glad it's having some of that impact.

the proto-badger is in the realm of the dead because i think it would be funny for him to be there. that's the whole truth of it.

mia being braindead rather than dead is very much a surprise tool that will help us later - now that i've done all of the Setup things are going to begin diverting more heavily from the original sequence of events in the game. otherwise, pretty much everything would be essentially identical to the way it plays out in canon and there's not really any fun in drawing something like that. so yeah. lots more to do ! hope y'all like the rest of what i've got planned !

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fleckcmscott · 4 years

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To Have and To Hold

Summary: Y/N makes an oversight at work. The resulting extra hours with Arthur delight them both.

Warnings: Swearing, Smut

Words: 4,272

A/N: This story had been kicking around in my head for about two months, but I hadn’t been sure if I was going to write it. Then I read @sweet-nothings04‘s amazing Hand-in-Hand (which you all need to check out, if you haven’t), and knew I had to put it on paper. Thanks to her for the inspiration to finally develop this, and for the title, too!

If you have any thoughts or questions, please comment, feel free to message me, or send me an ask. Requests for Arthur and WWH are open!

Perhaps it was the sunshine that stirred her. Or the horns of traffic on congested streets. The hammering of a distant construction site. The chatter and occasional yelling of passersby. The hum of Gotham awakening.

Y/N blinked in confusion - how could it be so bright this early? - and squinted at the clock at Arthur's side of the bed. No numbers greeted her, just its blank, plastic display. Stretching, she reached to her left for her watch, in its spot by the beige rotary phone on the nightstand.

"Shit!"

Nearly knocking over her glass of water, she clambered off the mattress. Arthur had warned her the lights could go off in his apartment. Not often and not for long. But enough to annoy. Naturally, his building's shoddy electricity had to mess with the alarm today. When she'd stayed up too late. When he'd had to leave ahead of her to commute to the other end of the city for a rare winter gig. When her body had chosen to oversleep in the coziness of his blankets.

Her nylons had never been yanked on with such haste. Arthur had made coffee but she skipped it in favor of brushing her teeth. Pausing on her way out, she took a calcium supplement and grabbed a note from the counter. She read it while riding the wood-paneled, graffiti covered elevator: "Your presentashin will be great. You snored a lot. Good thing your cute. - Arthur." He always signed his name. As though she wouldn't recognize his scrawl. As if anyone else wrote her sweet, sassy missives. She grinned until she hopped on the for-once punctual subway.

The presentation he'd referred to was set for that afternoon. She was expected to discuss the evidence and court file for this week's contested hearing. Last night, she'd sat at Arthur's breakfast bar to compile the case's final details and finish prep sheets. Gently, she'd rebuffed his subtle advances. His attempts to draw her attention from work to him.

Excitement had been palpable as he'd hovered near her. She was fairly certain she knew the cause because it enthused her as well. In three and a half short weeks, he'd be moving in with her. They'd officially begin traversing whatever the future held for them together. Hesitation had been clear in his posture, his drawn shoulders when (after plenty of convincing on her part that yes, she really, really, wanted him) he'd finally accepted the key to her place. But since he'd added it to his own keyring, he'd brightened. Strode a little taller. Walked a little prouder. Touched a little bolder. As though the weight he carried had lessened, at least by a couple cinder blocks' worth.

At his slight pout, she'd decided to find a way to involve him. He'd perched on the stool next to her, rested his cigarette in the pink ashtray to the left, and taken the proffered exhibit stickers with a quirked brow. Y/N had handed him papers, which he'd added labels to for her to write on. Then she'd stacked them in four different piles according to type. It had taken longer than usual - she was faster alone. But the intimacy of sharing the professional elements of her life with Arthur (besides the office wear he liked, claiming it showed how "smart" and "pretty" she was) had tightened her chest. And the curved-up corner of his thin lips had reflected how pleased he was, too.

They hadn't been able to collaborate on everything, however. It was past midnight by the time she'd joined Arthur, who had retreated to the bedroom an hour or so earlier. He'd been sitting against the headboard, half under the cover. The harsh blue light emanating from the old black and white TV at the foot of the bed had sharpened his features. Deepened the set of his eyes. He'd stubbed out his smoke as she closed the door. "I taped The Honeymoon Game. We can watch it when you're here again." A beat. "If you're not busy."

"This is supposed to be my last big project for a month or so." Sighing, she'd gotten her nightgown from her overnight bag. "I didn't mean for it to take all evening." She climbed in next to him and threw her arm across his lap. "I'm sorry."

He'd been stiff. Unyielding. The telltale signs he was miffed or upset. But he'd twined her hair around his finger, let his touch fall to her brow bone. "It's okay," he'd said lowly, adjusting to lie alongside her. "I don't want to be... I'm not being fair."

"You don't have to pretend with me, Arthur. It's all right to be annoyed." Tiredness had pulled at her as she'd fought to watch the rest of Gotham Tomorrow Tonight. The contact of his socked toes to her bare ones had made her smile, though, and she'd nuzzled his bicep. "I missed you," she'd mumbled, then promptly passed out.

The squeal of wheels on metal tracks prompted her to sling her canvas tote onto her shoulder. Shaw & Associates was a short sprint from the nearest station. She was certain she looked ridiculous, running down the street in her high heels. But she managed to slip into the office with two minutes to spare. Once she poured herself a cup of joe and straightened her blazer, she settled in her cushioned chair to get started.

It was only when Matt told her he wanted to meet before lunch that she'd rummaged in her bag. And realized she'd neglected to bring the file. Recalled it was sitting on Arthur's kitchen counter.

Fuck.

Her nails tapped the wood surface of her desk. Excusing herself to the bathroom so she could go retrieve it wouldn't fly. Matt would send a search party. She could try to discuss everything from memory, tell him documents were still being gathered. But he wasn't that oblivious. She settled on owning her error. "It's at home." Her delivery was nonchalant.

He waited until she'd loaded her typewriter with paper, then responded wryly. "You're not supposed to take files home anymore. Remember what happened last time?"

She leaned back as he stepped in front of her. "There was the slew of family cases that came in. With Patricia on leave, I'm handling all our calls and mail. Not to mention paperwork on her filings. It wouldn't have gotten finished if I hadn't taken it." Snorting, she shook her head at herself. Heat bloomed in her neck. "Not that it matters when I don't have it."

Expression softening, Matt stuck his hands in his pockets and jutted his chin at her. "How long did you work on it?"

It was hard to discern if he actually cared about the hours she put in. Or if he merely wanted to gauge the possibility of her doing investigations off the books again, something he'd explicitly prohibited. "I don't know." She waved dismissively. "Three or four hours?"

He let out a huff. "You put in enough time already. Go home at noon. We'll get to it first thing tomorrow."

"I have a lot to do." Her eyes widened at the myriad piles of folders laying around. "And I can't imagine you playing operator."

"I've managed when you've both been in court or at appointments. Besides," he continued as he headed back to his office. "You never take days off."

Straightening, she wheeled her chair to watch him plop down on his leather seat. "I'm taking three days next month," she countered.

His glare contained an unequal mix of mirth and consternation. "Y/N?"

The phone started ringing. She succeeded in making one ear ignore it. "Yes?"

"I know you haven't forgiven me for that whole Renew Corp. thing." She flinched at the casual mention of the company she loathed. Of her failure. But she forced herself to listen. Matt picked up a pen and started writing. “Rather than being stubborn, try saying, 'You're right.'"

~~~~~

Y/N stood in front of the narrow, white stove, stirring the soup she'd thrown together using bouillon, carrots, onions, and pasta. Ingredients she'd found in Arthur's kitchen. Music poured, at a respectable volume, from the radio on the windowsill. Swaying out-of-time, she added a sprinkling of black pepper, one of the only three spices he had (along with powdered garlic and salt). Wearing a content smirk, she sampled the steaming broth.

When she'd left the office, she'd been frustrated at herself. Yes, she was human. Everyone made mistakes. But she wasn't the forgetful type. Particularly if someone was depending on her. However, as she'd stopped in Burnley for another change of clothes, hopped on the train to Otisburg, and pictured Arthur's reaction to finding her in his home instead of having to call to wish her sweet dreams, her disposition had improved. Not only would he have her for an extra night. He'd get a late lunch, too.

The click of the deadbolt and clank of his keys on the entrance table came the second she turned off the stove. She listened to his heavy exhale as his bag dropped to the floor and shut the door. In her peripheral vision he froze, then approached tentatively. She reveled in his delicate hold on the dip of her waist, the peck he planted on her cheek. The smell of greasepaint wafted to her nose. "I hoped I hadn't made this up," he sighed with what sounded like relief. "But your meeting."

She angled herself towards him, gaze roving over his red and blue plaid blazer. The painted-on smile. His irresistible brown curls, mostly flattened by the wig he'd worn. Fidgeting with the petals of the squirting flower on his lapel, she scrunched up her face. "This morning went to shit." She explained the power outage, the clock, her own stupidity at leaving the file in his apartment. "I've packed it. Don't worry."

His posture grew pensive. "Sorry. Maybe- Maybe we should have stayed at your place. Your building's better."

Him thinking her error was somehow his fault had to be nipped in the bud. "No," she said. "You asked to make more memories here before we move in together. I'm happy to do that."

He paused, long enough she could have sworn she'd heard the gears in his head grinding. "Are you in trouble?"

Not unexpectedly, he had put together her mistake and her early dismissal from work and assumed the worst. "If I wasn't fired for trying to stop the Waynes, it's going to take more than an oversight to get me thrown out on my ass." Her brow furrowed. She sneaked a hand under his jacket and placed her palm on his chest. "I just hate that I wasted last night for nothing."

Soft lips, slightly sticky with red paint, grazed her temple. "It's okay," he said. "You're here now. And I got to help you."

The balm of his kindness loosened her rigid stance. His zeal to assist her, to ask questions, to learn about every aspect of her branded her heart completely. She leaned into him, kissed the squishy fold of skin under his chin, and nudged his ribs. "Food's ready. Go change. I want to hear all about your day."

Arthur emerged from the bathroom within minutes, clad in his worn, blue house pants and toweling his hair. Dimples were on constant display while they ate. The glint in his eyes was the one he usually had if his act or a job had gone particularly well, if he was pleased with himself. Was the one starting to be an almost weekly occurrence. Was the one that made his green eyes sparkle and caused her stomach to flip. He inched closer to her with every sentence.

The kids at the new children’s medical center had liked Carnival, he said. They hadn’t minded that he’d "filled in" for Gary. The magic tricks had all gone without a hitch, and the clinic had provided the balloons, which was a savings. The nurses and doctors had been nice; they’d even asked for his card. He’d had to provide a slip of paper with his address and telephone number instead. But he was sure he’d be invited to perform again. And he asked Y/N for help writing Gary a thank you note for the referral, claiming, “You’re better at that than me.”

“You’re the one who journals every day.” Her bowl and spoon clattered in the sink. “And your letter to me was beautiful. Just let me proofread it.”

Soon they were reclined on the sofa, sharing the flat pillow he’d used when he’d had no choice but to sleep there. The tape he’d recorded yesterday was playing. The Honeymoon Game had been a casual watch before, he’d explained. Not a nightly ritual like Murray. Given that he had a girlfriend and was a boyfriend himself, it had become fun to view.

She was only half-focused on the TV’s talking heads. Her mind was drifting to moving day, which filled her with gladness. She examined the plaid walls, the white cream color ceiling, the knick-knacks strewn about in the glow of the setting sun. The lantern with an owl hanging in the corner; the green, plastic drawers by the television; the curio cabinet... They were all a part of 8J, but assuredly not a part of him. How much would he be bringing with him, she wondered. And what would he be leaving behind?

“With one sugar and a shot of milk.” Arthur’s lively voice broke through her contemplation. Ah. He was reacting to the questions posed to the contestants, and making the answers about her, as he was wont to do.

She nestled back into the pleasant warmth of his firm frame. “Three sugars,” she replied, confirming she knew how he took his coffee. They continued to play along, with him showing off everything he’d memorized about her, and her replying with what she’d gathered about him.

Eventually, he shifted behind her. Raised himself on his elbow. “How did you know you loved me?”

Her hum was soft. Short. Possible responses were multitude. She’d suspected she could fall for him early on. When he’d wanted to repay her for doing what anyone should have done on the subway. And the first time he’d had the courage to call her after they’d split a slice of pie, his slight stammer revealing his nervousness. Maybe she’d say it was how slowly he’d drunken his wine during dinner, initially squinting as he sipped, his inexperience with alcohol obvious.

But she chose to go with what she believed was truest. What she assumed he’d hear most keenly. “Before we slept together, I hadn’t been with anyone for four years. And even then, it was different.” His hand splayed on her abdomen, thumb dragging along the waistband of her green leggings. A delightful ache flared in her center. “When I woke up, I felt perfect.”

“You felt like you were perfect?”

“No, silly,” she laughed, batting his forearm. “I knew I hadn't made a mistake. I reached out to your side, first thing - I’d thought of it that way, even then.” At the sensation of his hardening shaft against her rear, she giggled. “You’d made me so happy. You always do. I wanted to you to bed me again.”

The round tip of his nose skimmed her cheek, and she shivered at the dip of his fingers into her panties. “I want to again,” he rasped, paraphrasing her. The grind of his length was making her light-headed, and she twisted her torso to look at him. “I’ve been thinking about it.” Cheekbones glowing, he averted his eyes. “Ever since I woke up.”

“My monthly started,” she said regretfully. His descent halted, and a groan of frustration left him as he lowered his forehead to her shoulder. She mused. While he was becoming more apt to say what he desired, it happened rarely. But she loved it and didn’t want to discourage him from letting himself be assertive. Would he be offended by her suggestion? “I freshened up before we laid down. I have a tampon in. There are other things we can do.” She pressed her lips together, hoping she didn’t sound presumptuous. “If you’re comforta-“

“I’m comfortable.” His mouth quickly claimed hers, opening on a sigh. The tip of his tongue laved at the seam of her lips, and his messy enthusiasm made her whimper. Leaving a scorching trail in its wake, his hand traversed to her upper leg, gliding over the crease where her thigh and vulva met.

Shallow breaths caressed the nape of her neck, stoking the heat threatening to consume her. But the studio audience blaring from the television’s mono-speaker kept wresting her out of her haze. She snatched the VCR remote from the coffee table and hit the pause button.

The tease of his fingertips at her dark curls caused the peaks of her breasts to stiffen. She gasped as the rough fabric of her sweater dragged along them. His fore- and ring fingers spread her outer lips and she shuddered. The leisureliness of his fondling didn’t detract from its intoxicating effect.

Though it was a tad rough. “You’re kinda dry. Hold on.” Swiftly, he brought his hand to his mouth and wet his fingertips. Y/N blinked at him. It was clear he thought nothing of it, which shouldn’t have been a surprise, considering he’d confided he liked going down on her. Still. Seeing this normally reserved man improvise so he could pleasure her made her center throb with need.

Y/N was doing her damnedest to get her leggings and underwear down. Arthur snorted at her spirited, failed attempt at kicking them away. “It’s okay,” he chuckled, pushing them off her ankles with his foot. Then his touch fluttered at her swollen folds. She arched into him, already feeling as though she would burst. Bent at the knee, her leg lifted until her foot was flat on the couch cushion, allowing him easier access. He took advantage, sweeping forward and back along the rigid line of her engorged clitoral hood. She rolled towards him subtly, her moans getting louder with each tap to her sensitive nub.

Still holding himself up, he cradled her head. "Your sounds make me crazy," he said lowly. Once his hips started following hers, faintly rutting against the flesh of her backside, she closed her eyes. Hurriedly, she reached behind her to yank at his pajamas. "What?" he asked.

"I want to feel you," she whispered. There was a huff and some fumbling. And moments later his cock was settled at the cleft of her bottom. She bit her lip, savoring the weight of him. God, he felt wonderful.

His fingertips whispered over her clit, daring to follow the edge of her inner labia. She heard him gulp. "How does it feel when we're together? When- When I'm in you?"

"Warm. Full. Like you belong there," she replied with a smile. That last part of her response must have been unexpected, given that his grazes ceased and he trembled. "Don't stop," she whined, placing her hand on his. "Please, Arthur. You know just how to touch me."

Groaning, he started anew, deftly swiping quicker and quicker. The undulations of her pelvis hastened unevenly, begging both for release and for their coupling to last forever. She ran her palm up her torso, kneading her breast and plucking at her nipple. He nuzzled at her ear, grunting low in the back of his throat. Winding her fingers into his loose waves, she tugged lightly. Her belly twitched. Her whole frame tingled.

His skillful touch. The love they had for one another. The noises he was making in the crook of her shoulder. They all combined to throw her over the edge, and a wave of pleasure crashed through her. She cried his name brokenly, feeling empty without him inside her. But he kept holding her, guiding her through the crests of her climax. She was gasping, struggling to suck in air. Surely, she thought, he could detect the thundering of her heart against her ribs.

Gradually, the quivering grip she had on his locks eased. The kisses he planted on her neck were open-mouthed, desperate. And he hadn't halted the ardent movements of his hips. Y/N turned onto her other side. Gazing at him, she raked his curls out of his face, caressed his cheekbone with her knuckles. His look was hungry, darkened with need. The creases between his brows deepened as her hand trailed through the sparse dusting of hair on his chest.

There was a youthful charm to this situation, she considered. To them craving each other but not completely joining. It reminded her of being a teenager. When she'd been curious and horny, but nervous and not quite ready to go "all the way" with her ex. Being with Arthur allowed her to do all that again. To relive those experiences, to explore and make discoveries with him. To fall further in love with him daily.

She tenderly pecked the freckles at the top of his sternum, nestled against the notch above his clavicle. "I'm lucky to have you."

He didn't miss a beat, even as she trailed past the ticklish spots on his flank. "I'm luckier."

"I disagree." She outlined the slender muscles of his stomach, the v-lines leading to his cock. Played with the springy, brown curls at the base of him. "Without you, I'd only have my work. Which was enough before. But not now." After a moment, she concluded she was being sappy. She had to change it up. "And I wouldn't be having the best sex of my life."

Clearly flustered, he muffled his laugh. "Really?" His blush was prominent, his grin ecstatic.

"Really." Groans short and sudden, he rocked into her touch when she encircled his ample girth. Her fingers danced along his shaft, marveling at the contrast of his velvety skin with how hard he was. Pumping up and down, she tugged at him, trying to match the speed of his thrusts. He nudged his nose to hers, gazing at her before his hooded eyes flitted to watch what she was doing. Then she looked, too.

The sight of him fucking into her hand made her dizzy with want, even though he'd just gotten her off. The crimson, swollen head glistened, slick beading generously at the tip. Y/N licked her lips and spread it around him with the pad of her thumb. Moaning sharply, he bucked harder. Her motions quickened, flicking repeatedly at the notch on the underside.

Demand was implicit in the grasp he had on her upper arm. And it strengthened as his hips' stuttered, becoming unpredictable. Ragged pants hit her face. "I'm- I'm gonna make a mess.”

"It's all right," she soothed. Keeping ahold of him, she lay on her back. He followed and settled on top of her. Whimpering her name, he rubbed himself against her labia. But she gently pushed him onto his knees and continued palming him, her fingers teasing the ridge on his erection. It wouldn't take long to make him come. She could see it in the clench of his jaw, the tightening cords in his neck, his abrupt, needy cries...

Plunging forward, he held himself in place, grunting, clutching her urgently. His release hit her abdomen, warm and wet, and she gasped, her body curving up towards him. The feel of him spilling onto her couldn't completely distract her, though. Not from the beauty of his parted lips. Not from the relief that gradually spread across his features. Not from the slackening of his muscles as tension ebbed.

Sweat had gathered on his forehead. A droplet ran from the end of a dark brow to his jawline. Then he kissed her, his mouth groping at hers. "I love you," he said. He gave her one last peck and sat up on his knees. Holding onto the arm of the sofa, he retrieved her underwear from the floor and wiped her belly off. "That was fun." He tucked his chin bashfully.

"I concur." She entwined their hands and sat, then stretched as she pushed herself to stand and walk to the bathroom. The washcloth he'd designated as hers hung on the hook by the towels. She cleaned herself, listening as Arthur started the show again.

A new round of questions was just beginning. "When you and your spouse first met," the host started, "what was your first impression?"

Arthur's answer was instant. "Nice."

Y/N said the first thing that came to mind. "Handsome."

She popped her head out of the room to find him leaning on the entrance of the short corridor, beaming at her with hitched giggles. He was probably waiting for his turn to clean up. Like he normally did. But she couldn't stop herself from staring at him. Loving eyes met hers and his brows lifted expectantly. "Yes?"

Smiling, she wrung out the washcloth and put it back in its place. She stepped to him with a smile and smoothed his hair back. The rush of happiness in her soul, one she wasn't even sure she had, enamored her. Not only at what they'd shared on his old, scratchy sofa. But at Arthur being Arthur. At knowing soon she'd get to sleep next to him every night. Build a life with him, one she hadn't dreamed of even six months ago. Nothing she could say seemed adequate. So she went with a kind gesture, one she knew he'd appreciate. "I'll make us some decaf. And I love you, too."

~~~~~

Tag list (Let me know if you want to be added!): @harmonioussolve @howdylilflower @sweet-nothings04 @stephieraptorr @rommies @fallenstarsabyss @gruffle1 @octopus-plasma @tsukiakarinobara @arthur-flecks-lovely-smile @another-day-in-chuckletown @hhandley80 @jokerownsmysoul @mrscarnival

#arthur fleck #arthur fleck fanfic #arthur fleck x reader #arthur fleck x female reader #arthur fleck smut #arthur fleck x ofc #joker 2019 #watchwhathappens

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just-like-playing-tag · 4 years

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A totally self indulgent compilation of my favorite works on this blog of the year June 13, 2019 - June 13, 2020

I wanted to do this for the blog's first anniversary but then completely forgot about it lol.

The following lists are all in chronological order according to the date each post was first published.

Top 10 panel edits:

#1: Don and Gilda - Chapter 138: Demon serch (1)

Date: Jun 14th, 2019

Time: ~ 1:30 h

My very first redraw from my very first edit posted here, so it deserves an honorable mention. Back then I was young and inexperienced, I didn't even apply a gray filter (lmao I was so unskilled I even unintentionally scratched the picture, I hadn't realized until today). I'm actually very happy my first redraw was of Don, boy deserves all the love.

#2: Emma and Ray - Chapter 140: I’m Here!

Date: Jun 28th, 2019

Time: ~ 1 h

Back then this looked like so much work to me!!! And to this day, I think it turned out pretty well. I'm particularly proud of how the bow turned out. This is one I was really proud of right after having finished it; it gave me the confidence to try redrawing bigger areas. Also, the edit were I first applied the opacity of layer / opacity of brush for the gray filter that would have stuck with me.

#3: Krone's birthday edit

Date: Jul 15th, 2019

Time: 15 mins

I don't know I just really like how Krone's hair vanish to a more sketch-like style here– and consequently, how I managed to replicate such effect. I think Krone's beautiful.

#4: Emma, Norman and Ray - Chapter 153: Coward

Date: Oct 4th, 2019

Time: 4:07 h (and 67 layers lmao)

Probably the single panel redraw I'm the most proud of. That Norman panel was beautiful and very poignant at the end of a chapter I adored, so I believe it deserved all the time I've spent working on it. It's far from being perfect - the back of his head is too plain, and the difference between my brushes and the original brushes is pretty visible - but I still like it very much and am extremely attached to it. The horn looks kinda big but I honestly believe it to be more of an issue with the original than with what I had redrawn lol. Funny enough, the whole picture didn't make it to the final edit and had to be trimmed.

#5: Full Score Trio - Chapter 154: A Breakthrough

Date: Oct 11th, 2019

Time: 29 mins

I don't have a particular reason for this I just think Emma's hair turned out amazing. It took just half an hour and I didn't even use references like. Wow. @Redrawing skills where did you go please come back

#6: Mujika and Queen Legravalima - Chapter 158: The Reason I Was Born

Date: Nov 17th, 2019

Time: 2:09 h

Sis I love this so freaking much. The shift from redrawing almost exclusively people and clothes to redrawing this mess was so fun and refreshing. Even though it's a mess I think it turned out very clean and overall it looks beautiful? I remember after finishing this I felt so powerful, like now that I had redrawn this thing I would have been able to redraw anything I set my mind on lol.

#7: Emma - Chapter 161: Never Be Alone

Date: Dec 13th, 2019

Time: 57 mins

Again no particular reason except this is a very cute Emma and I think the redraw turned out pretty well. There's this big lock on the left that doesn't make a lot of sense but overall I really like it. Cute Emma is cute, and I love her determination.

#8: Emma - Chapter 166: Going Back Home

Date: Mar 9th, 2020

Time: 3:45 h

I'M SO FREAKING PROUD OF THAT RIFFLE I have not the slightlest idea why this took so damn long BUT I'M SO PROUD OF IT

#9: Norman's birthday edit

Date: Mar 21st, 2020

Time: 1:04 h

This is cool! I didn't know I could manage to draw this, but I did it! The feathers were particularly hard to clean but I think they turned out fine.

#10: Full Score Trio - Chapter 174: A New World (part 1)

Date: Apr 6th, 2020

Time: 2:11 h

I just think they're very pretty? I can't understand if I like Ray's face a lot, or not at all, but I think overall there was a lot to redraw and it turned out pretty cute! Sorry Gillian.

(Also insert pretty much every panel from the chapter 177 Isabella edit– I've spent so many hours on basically every panel there's no way I could choose only one).

Top 5 edits as whole:

#1: Emma and Ray - Chapter 140: I’m Here!

Date: Jun 29th, 2019

Complessive time: 2:57+ h

The very first edit I'm actually proud of; I'm really attached to it. It's the first edit I had put all of my effort into, and I remember feeling anxious people would have left it without notes. It kinda feels weird to think about it now, because I really don't care about notes anymore; yet, it somehow makes me happy to think that past-me wasn't let down. Thank you @neverlandstrio for your support, you may not remember but it really meant a lot to me back then! And it still makes me smile. You're the best!!!!!!

#2: Mujika and Queen Legravalima - Chapter 158: The Reason I Was Born

Date: Nov 20th, 2019

Complessive time: 7:12+ hours

This whole edit was an hella wild ride. It's midnight before a school day, when I think: "Mh, it's been a while since I last made an edit, why not make one about Musica and the queen from the last chapter?" And seven hours after this was born. I'm particularly proud of the queen's redraws on the 3rd, 7th and 9th picture (ofc), the areas which have been redrawn are pretty huge yet I think the difference with the original is almost impossible to notice?? @Redrawing skills where did you go please come back (part 2)

#3: Emma - Chapter 174: A New World (part 1)

Date: Apr 12th, 2020

Complessive time: 6:53+ h

I think the panels that were selected work very well together, especially considering the close-up / full body alternation. I love Emma, and I've always been kinda sad noticing that edits that focus one her take the less notes... She deserves all the love. Also, fun fact: for the last but one panel, I had redrawn Emma's whole left ear before remembering she doesn't have one, so I had to redraw the panel from the start. Besides from the error with the ear, the reason why this (and all the others after) took so long is because official panel take way longer to clean.

#4: Isabella and her children - Chapter 177: Mother

Date: May 22nd, 2020

Complessive time: 13:41+ h (ahah.)

Lmao tbh I can't understand how this has so few notes it's like. Technically speaking, probably the best edit I've ever done. I don't even like Isabella that much, I haven't got the slightlest idea why I decided to spend so many hours on this. Anyway, I find the composition (full body on the left / headshots on the right) really good looking in this as well! And I think the redraws turned out fine, especially Isabella's.

#5: The Promised Neverland manga ending countdown→ 1/7 chapters: chapter 1 - Grace Field House

Date: Jun 9th, 2020

Complessive time: 1:59+ h

I don't know how I came up with that idea for the composition but I find it really beautiful??? I think it does a pretty good job conveying the sudden, terrific shift of atmosphere from the first chapter, and I think that sharp bridge is very nice. I'm very, very proud of this.

Honorable mention #1: Full Score Trio - Chapter 154: A Breakthrough

Date: Oct 13th, 2019

Complessive time: 3:44+ h (+ 1:13 h of working on a panel that ultimately didn't make it to the final edit)

A very good chapter, and the edit turned out surprisingly amazing??? All the redraws look great and make it almost impossible to distinguish them from the original; honestly I feel like I'll never be able to redraw so neatly again lol.

Honorable mention #2: Don and Gilda (+ Norman) - Chapter 160: Shackles

Date: Dec 11th, 2019

Complessive time: 3:14+ h

That one is really one of my favorite scenes; I'm telling you peoples, Gilda and Don are a blessing to the earth. I think I've never mentioned it, but Gilda's hair is a nightmare to redraw??? More specifically, it takes me h o u r s to fill the texture without making it look too weird, it's the worst.

Honorable mention #3: Norman and Ray - Chapter 179: Compensation

Date: Jun 6th, 2020

Complessive time: 4:16+ h

I was so glad to finally be able to make a Norman / Ray edit, and it turned out it was just in time before the series' finale. I like how it turned out and I'm pretty satisfied with the redraws (even though my sister helped me with the lineart of some panels - it was exams time and I really couldn't afford to spend more time on it), too bad we didn't have more chapters that focused on the boys. Ray sweetie one day I'll fix your ear it's just today's not that day.

Btw, I justed realized I have never done an Emma / Norman centered edit? I'll have to make one eventually. I remember considering focusing on them alone for the chapter 154 one, but then I thought "even if the manga is gonna ignore Ray, I will chose to do not" lol.

Top 5 long posts:

#1: Reconstruction of how the Grace Field children were settled in the three bedrooms

Date: Aug 28th, 2019

I just had really a lot of fun doing it. I love putting all the little things to their own place, it's so calming to do and that's why I love making this kind of things. Also, loved how @temporoom contributed to the post! It was so nice of them to add what they had noticed to come up with more exact conclusions, that's one of the things I love the most about the internet.

#2: A study of how many times the characters of The Promised Neverland call each other through the first season of the anime

Date: Sep 10th, 2019

I REALLY LOVE IT! I mean it *was* kinda stressing to note everything, but it was very also very satisfying to see everything methodically divided and organized! And it's not just that– it's also the fact that it looks good. That's one post I have fun rereading because it's actually pretty! Also, even though it can be very stressing to learn to use new programs and sites, it's always very satisfying to look at the final result. Again, I really adore compiling these tiny little details! I would love to make more posts of that kind if i had the time.

#3: The Promised Neverland musicals headcanons

Date: Oct 27th, 2019

I mean it's literally. Putting my two favorite fandoms together how could I not love it. This is another one I really enjoy rereading, I find all the musical / character associations so fitting! I really want to make a second part, I hope to find some time to do it.

#4: Considerations on the reward / eventual series' finales (and Emma's sacrifice)

Date: May 7th, 2020

It's always nice to put down all your thoughts regarding a particular matter. It can take a lot of time (at least for me it does because... I need time to think about things), but it's so satisfying to see all of them there once you're done. Bonus points when, like in this case, it was something asked by someone else because “Wow! Somebody wants to hear my opinion on this subject! I'm flattered (◍•ᴗ•◍)”

#5: Some other considerations on the series' finale and Emma sacrificing herself

Date: Jun 13th, 2020

Pretty much the same as above. It's like some kind of clarity when the post is done and signed. Another fun fact, I had to censore the post a lot; the first version was extremely sharp and harsh, but I believe it's right to express your opinions calmly and politely.

Bonus: A thread of what the tpn characters would wear at the Oscars

Date: Feb 9th, 2020

Imagining all the children in those pretty dresses makes me so incredibly happy (╥﹏╥) I go back to look at that post a lot. I really love red carpets, I love looking at pretty dresses!!!!!

Lmao it's so funny how the post of mine I like the most are also the ones with the less notes

Anyway this was just a personal report! You don't have to read it all (or any of it actually). But it was indeed fun making it! Here's to many more months in the fandom!!!

#This was supposed to be posted on July 13th as one year and one month since I made the blog #but Tumblr decided to be a jerk and deleted all of it 😊#So here we are #tpn #tpn manga spoilers #long post #Again this is just a personal report don't stress over reading all of it #But it was fun to make!#To the people I tagged: sorry for tagging you in this long post but also it would have felt weird not to do so? I hope you don't mind #It felt like... Giving credits foe something you've done y'know

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geeky-writes · 5 years

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Pieces of Echoes Chapter 27 Preview

Behind? Catch up on AO3/ FFN 😊

********

Steve gulped as he leaned over the equipment, searching for anything he might use to send out a signal. Assuming that the team would be using the standard emergency Avengers’ frequencies, Steve only had to find a way of sending an S.O.S. and they should be able to triangulate it to the exact location of the bunker.

Thankfully, the equipment wasn’t any more complicated than the equipment at the old SHIELD headquarters and Steve was able to send out the signal without too much further delay, broadcasting in Morse Code that Peter was in imminent danger and to hurry the hell up.

As soon as he received the acknowledgement from Natasha, Steve began scanning the equipment again, searching for any clues that might lead him to Tony. The three monitors in the room were all displaying Peter’s cell from three different angles, but as Steve started pressing the various buttons one of the monitors suddenly changed, zooming in on what appeared to be his own cell, now occupied by the soldier he’d knocked out.

“Okay, so…” Steve said under his breath as he pressed the button again, inhaling sharply as the display changed to yet another cell, this one occupied by Tony. Steve’s heart clenched painfully as he zoomed in on his husband who he thought he’d never see again, noting that he appeared to be knocked out and was also hooked up to an IV drip but seemed otherwise okay with no visible injuries. And from what Steve could tell, he was only a few paces down from the surveillance room he was in.

“I’m not gonna just sit here and wait,” Steve muttered, wiping sweat off his brow and lamenting the fact that he didn’t have his shield with him. For all he knew it was still sitting in their bedroom back at Avengers’ Tower, although it was more likely that Stane and the rest of his goons had taken it and locked it up somewhere.

Just then another piercing scream tore through the bunker somewhere above Steve, raising all the hair on the back of his neck.

“Not real, it’s not real! My name is Peter Stark-Rogers!” Peter cried, so terrified that Steve had to clap his hands over his ears in a feeble attempt to block it out. Tears stung Steve’s eyes as he choked, his jaw clenched so tightly he was surprised he still had all of his teeth.

I can’t stay here any longer, he thought as he got to his feet, searching through the dead soldier’s body for more weapons and finding a knife and another gun along with three replacement mags. He stuffed the mags into the back pocket of his pants and stowed one of the guns into his waistband, grabbing the knife and the other gun as he searched the computer panel for a way to unlock Tony’s cell. He could likely break in, but it would be far less noisy and therefore draw less unwanted attention if he were able to just slip inside.

It took a couple of minutes, but Steve was finally able to find the controls to unlock the cell door, racing out of the surveillance room as soon as the little light changed from red to green.

“Tony! Oh God, Tony, wake up!” he whispered as he hurried to his husband’s side, disconnecting the IV drip. He removed the needle from Tony’s arm, tearing a strip of fabric from his t-shirt to use as a bandage.

“Tony, you gotta wake up!” Steve repeated, carefully brushing Tony’s unkempt hair off his forehead and giving his shoulders a light shake. He cupped Tony’s face in one hand as he unlocked his metal restraints with the other, keeping a watchful eye on the exit in case anymore of the soldiers happened to walk by. “Oh God, sweetheart, I can’t believe you’re right here in front of me, I thought I’d lost you!”

Steve jumped when Tony let out a groan, his face screwing into an expression of tormented confusion and anger as his eyes fluttered open, narrowing in suspicion as they attempted to focus on Steve.

“Where the hell am I?” Tony suddenly asked, his arms wobbling as he attempted to push himself up into a sitting position. Steve instinctively reached to help him but Tony jerked away, shaking his head.

“No!” he yelped. “Who the hell are you? Where am I? Where’s my son?”

Tony’s words hit Steve like a gunshot. “Tony, it’s me, Steve!” he said gently. He reached for him, tears welling in his eyes when Tony batted his hand away.

“Don’t you recognise me?”

“No, no, no, no, no,” Tony said, his chest heaving as he gulped in air. “What the hell is this? What the hell’s going on? Where’s Pete?” He pointed a trembling finger at Steve’s chest, his brow furrowing in absolute agony as he gaped at him. “You! You were dead! What the hell are you doing here, you're supposed to be dead!”

“No,” whispered Steve, shaking his head as he reached again for Tony’s hand. Tony flinched when he touched him, but he thankfully didn’t try to pull away. “I promise I’m not dead, mo grá. I’m right here.”

Again Tony shook his head, his beautiful face ashen and terrified. “But—but—I saw you! I saw you—and then you were gone, and—or maybe I just didn’t see you anymore and I just believed it because—but I never could actually remember how you were killed, only that you were, and Pete and I were both miserable, and—” He looked down at his hand, inspecting his wedding ring in the dim light emanating from the hallway. “Is this—is this real? It’s not gold, it’s—it’s—”

“Yes, it’s real,” Steve answered as he carefully gathered him close, inspecting his own hand and finding his titanium wedding ring there, just where Tony had placed it. “And I thought I’d lost you too, and I didn't—I couldn’t take it, sweetheart, I couldn’t!”

“Holy shit,” whispered Tony. He raised his hand to cup Steve’s cheek, tentatively brushing his thumb across the rough whiskers along Steve’s jawline. “Babe, you’re—you’re real? You’re really here with me right this second?”

“I am, sweetheart,” Steve murmured. “I’m real, I promise.”

“Oh my God,” gasped Tony, crumpling against Steve’s chest, his hands fisting in his shirt as Steve held him as tightly as he dared. “You’re alive. You’re actually alive. Holy shit, Steve, I thought I’d lost you! I thought I’d lost you, and if it weren’t for Pete I don’t think I would’ve—”

“Shh, mo grá,” Steve said into Tony’s hair. “I think it’s this drug that was messing with our minds.”

“Well if that's what I see in my dreams then I’m never sleeping again,” Tony said, shuddering hard. “What the hell’s going on here? Where’s Pete?”

“He’s… here, Tony, somewhere in this place,” Steve answered. “Stane, he brought all three of us here. Wherever here is.”

Tony’s head snapped up at Steve’s words, his eyes narrowing in the direction of the barred door of his cell. “You mean Obie’s got Pete?”

But before Steve could answer another scream sounded from above, even longer and more agonising than the last.

“Not real! It’s not real!”

“Oh my God, Steve!” Tony shrieked. “That’s—that’s Pete! What the hell are they doing to him?”

“I know it’s Peter, sweetheart, but—”

“But nothing! Steve, we gotta help him!” Tony barked as he shoved Steve away from him. He attempted to get to his feet, stumbling against Steve when he couldn’t get his legs to work properly.

“What the—?”

“Tony, you’re still weak from that drug,” Steve said, as gently as he was able. Peter’s scream had just about fried the last of his remaining nerves, and his patience was almost nonexistent. “The team is on their way, okay, so we just gotta try and be patient. If you and I—”

“Patient?” Tony cut in, glaring bullets at Steve. “You want me to be patient when those fuckers are up there torturing our son?”

“Tony, if you and I go in there now we won’t last longer than a few seconds, and then there’s no telling what they’d do to Peter,” Steve said, every word piercing his heart like a knife. “I know it’s hard, sweetheart, but we need to wait for the team. I've already contacted them and they’re on their way, so we just need to wait.”

Tony’s eyes were filled with such misery that Steve could hardly stand to look at him. “How in the hell am I supposed to just wait, Steve?” he demanded. “How?”

“The team is coming, sweetheart,” Steve whispered past the lump in his throat. “And I promise as soon as they get here we’ll find Peter and—”

“And then I’m gonna kill Obie,” Tony stated, so ice-cold that a shiver raced down Steve’s spine. “I’m gonna kill that asshole for what he’s done to our boy.”

********

The full chapter will post on Monday, August 5th 😊

And be on the lookout for the first in my baby Peter one-shots, posting in a couple of hours! 😊

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goodguyjean · 7 years

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Oh wow. You are the perfect person to answer this question for me and I don't know why I didn't think to ask you till now. Just how good of friends do you think Jean was with Marco? Because if you look at the manga alone, they seem to be no closer to each other than the rest of the top 10. However if you look at the anime, smart pass content, spin offs, the wings of freedom game, the guidebook, all things isayama apparently had his hand in.. They do. What do you think their canon friendship was?

Hiya anon!

By my definition of canon for thepurposes of meta-analysis—i.e. something that appears explicitly within themain series of manga—I think that Marco and Jean are actually not particularlyclose; rather, I think there’s a hint at their potential for a good friendship,and part of what Jean mourns at the mass funeral is that potential. Incontrast, the anime sets them up as friends from their trainee days, makingMarco’s loss a more personal experience for Jean, one which can potentiallyinstill a desire for revenge in him. Therefore, I think the Smart Pass AUinterview and the extra content in the guidebook are, depending on Isayama’sactual level of involvement with them, retcons to align the manga’spresentation of Jean and Marco’s relationship more closely with the anime’s.

I got out pictures again, so furtherexplanation is under the cut!

My approach to canon is admittedly differentthan Isayama’s, and so may require some explanation. Isayama seems to operateas if all things set in the Attack onTitan universe are canon, that the anime can “fix” things he didn’t likeabout the manga, and that when something changes in the anime he needs to makethat adjustment in the manga as well (see, for instance, the fate of Armin’sfamily or the change to Ymir’s teeth when she was a mindless titan). As such,even though Jean never discusses Marco after the Female Titan arc in the manga,I believe that (assuming Isayama does really oversee these extras to a certaindegree) he considers the changes the anime makes to Jean and Marco’s relationshipcanon. However, for better or for worse, I tend to read series as “enclosed”:my rationale is that there’s a coherent story in the manga that stands alone,regardless of what the author says outside of the text or what others add ontoit. In this case, the canon of the manga does not present Marco and Jean asespecially close, to my mind.

All that being said, I think it’s totallypossible to look at the exact same scenes in canon and come to a differentconclusion than I have; I just wanted to specify my parameters. For the intentsand purposes of this discussion, even if Isayama changed the nature of Marcoand Jean’s relationship outside of the manga, it doesn’t automatically have abearing on what is actually shown to us in the text.

And what’s in the text makes me thinkthat Marco may tolerate Jean better than most of the other cadets (the majorityof whom really don’t seem to like him) and vice versa, but there doesn’t seemto be much evidence of a friendship that rivals the bond between EMA or Reinerand Bertolt, for instance. In canon, I think the real shock Jean experiences atMarco’s death is, to borrow Jean’s own words, that Marco was a “goody-goody.”

Chapter 3.

InAmerica we might jokingly term him an “Eagle Scout”, someone who always has the“right” answers, who gets the grades, and who is generally considered to be apillar of the community. To Jean’s mind, Marco was this kind of person, and yethe still died. If Marco, whom Jean clearly thought of as a leader-type in spiteof his suspicion of authority, couldn’t stand against the titans, anyone couldbe next. It’s a startling moment for Jean because he’s been claiming that he’sa realist who expects the titans to eventually destroy all humans, that it’s betterto just look after yourself because no one else was going to do it, and yetsome part of him still wants to believe in someone more community-minded likeMarco. His decision to join the Survey Corps is predicated on the idea that noone is safe until the titan threat is eliminated, not even someone like Marco,and therefore Jean needs to work with the Corps if he wants to help hiscomrades.

… comrades he might be more attachedto than he previously realized, before Marco’s death.

I think what fandom projects from theanime into the manga is the idea that Jean joins the Survey Corps out of asense of highly personalized loss, but I can’t quite justify that readingbecause Isayama does very little in the manga to establish Jean and Marco’slink as unique and precious to both of them. Jean and Marco only have twoscenes together over the entire course of the manga (the flashback to Marco’s discussion of leadership and the graduation party), and Jean is neverotherwise seen hanging out with Marco during the training sequences (althoughthere are a few flashback panels scattered throughout the later chapters whereJean and Marco will be standing next to each other in group shots; since theycome later in the manga, this looks like more retconning—hard to say!). Instead, his primary companion pre-Trost appears to be this guy:

Chapter 3.

Chapter 17.

We never get a name for Mr. Long-HairedDude, and he only has one line of dialogue. He never appears outside of thesesequences as far as I can remember, and Jean never goes looking for him afterthe events of Trost. Their “friendship” has no bearing on the story, other thanthat it doesn’t appear to be significantly meaningful for either of them,indicating that Jean isn’t really invested in making real friends initially—he thinkshe can do pretty much everything all by himself. It’s a flimsy relationship, lacking in the kind of meaning that will later be teased with Marco and fulfilled with Armin, Eren, and the others. The function this nameless young man serves is to show that Jean is avoiding real connection with his fellows, preferring something shallow and convenient over something more challenging but ultimately more rewarding like a friendship with Marco or one of the others.

The anime replaces thismystery cadet with Marco, adding a closer friendship between Marco and Jeaninto the story, which it then uses to heighten the emotions around Marco’sdeath. From a practical perspective, I understand this move on the anime’spart. Drawing an extra character who doesn’t really do anything is a hassle, and you want to maximize a character’s impact on a story wherever possible. However, this deviation changes the meaning of Marco’s death from what I laid out above,making it more personal. Whereas in the manga the shock is that someone asuniversally beloved and upstanding as Marco dies while someone as “weak” asJean survives, the anime turns it into the death of a particular friend.

Jean expresses surprise that someone like Marco could die, chapter 18.

This move, in turn, brings Jean’smotivations for joining the Survey Corps closer to Eren’s: the anime suggeststhat Jean is interested in seeking revenge for Marco. Although I can understandthat Long-Haired Dude is essentially deadweight, I was also a little annoyed atJean’s story aligning so closely with Eren’s—in the manga, Jean is not lookingto settle a score, but to prevent further death if at all possible. He issurprised at Marco’s death, and then surprised at being surprised: Jean is notthe cynical pessimist he thought he was. He has this more idealistic andhopeful side to him, and this is part of what prompts him to do something “irrational”and community-minded like joining the Survey Corps. In the anime, he startsdown the same slippery slope as Eren, as we can see in the scene where he attacksAnnie’s crystal.

Episode 25, Jean yelling at Annie’s crystal.

As to their actual relationship incanon, I think Jean respects Marco more than a lot of the other cadets(although we learn later that he greatly respects Reiner, Armin, Mikasa, andeven—although he doesn’t want to admit it—Eren) while Marco can sense Jean’sidealistic side and therefore can tolerate Jean better. Consequently, Marco’suntimely death is particularly sad because there is a potential for friendship there that Jean never really acts upon,sticking instead to the company of a guy who appears a little sycophantic (atleast, he listens to Jean’s bragging with a smile), but who doesn’t formulate areal friendship with Jean based on mutual respect. Marco, unlike the othercadets, saw some of the idealism that was actually the core of Jean’s cynicism(he’s trying not to care because he does actually care), and once he’s goneJean perhaps realizes that he doesn’t want to miss out on such an opportunityfor friendship again.

Jean respects Marco, chapter 18.

Marco being kind to Jean, chapter 18.

Jean realizes he’s connected to his fellow comrades, that doesn’t want to lose anymore potential friends, chapter 18.

So, to conclude, if I was going to takea stab at Jean’s cryptic line about burned bones in chapter twenty-three (whichis really confusing because of all the different and, quite frankly, vaguetranslations), I might suggest putting the emphasis on the idea of “identification.”I think Marco’s death makes Jean realize that he doesn’t want to live his lifewithout human connection, to the point where no one would mourn if he died. Alternatively,he could also be suggesting that he sees value in forming relationships andventuring outside the wall with his comrades at his own personal risk, becausethen at least he won’t, in theory, have to mourn them at a mass grave without knowingwho they were or what exactly happened to them. Although Jean retains hiscynicism and suspicion of authority, his prickly personality and his commitmentto being honest, Marco’s death does change him: he realizes that he doesn’twant to live his life without real friends, that looking out for number onedoesn’t necessarily protect him from the pain of loss—he’ll just mourn missedopportunities and “what ifs”, even if he is spared deep personal pain.

“'Tis better to have loved and lost/ Thannever to have loved at all.”- Canto 27, “In Memoriam,” A.H.H, Alfred Tennyson.

Thanks for the note anon! Sorry if my response a bit garbled, I’m still recovering a bit from my quals (… that’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it xD).

Edit: @julystorms has a good answer to this question (though maybe you are the same anon lol), you can find it here :) We agree that Jean is mourning a potential friendship more than an actual one.

#snk #jean kirstein #marco bott #snk meta #replies #anonymous

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