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#i cant even literally say the truth
satansappendix · 1 year
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Honestly I'm sick
#im sick and tired already of the condolences#my dad died snd its a lot#im sick of people coming over im sick of people saying sorry for your lose#im sick of it#it just makes me mad#we havent even had his funeral yet but people wont stop coming over and shit#no i havent worked through my complex emotions about this all#i dont get a chance to#i feel like i cant point out how he was a bad person how i dont remember happy memories with him#how he never apologized and only ever got worse as he was sick#but i cant say that because everyones so focused on the loss and i know its hard for them but its just so frustrating#i cant even literally say the truth#i cant say it's too quiet for my dad to be here like his spirit or whatever#because it is its always been so loud and choatic with him abd i cant say that its inappropriate#i cant saw he snapped his fucking phone in half like a goddamn child because he was mad abd wanted a new one#my brother gave me shit about that saying really#like yesh its the truth and fucking mad about it#and this is from my brother that fucking hated him but sure whatever#im just so angry#no i font want to look at picture of him or the 'happy times' because there werent any for me#I don't want to see that shit#so i have to sit quietly and pretend its all good because the other option upset everyone else because they are dealing eith the loss#and indont even get to be away from it all cause bryan lost my fucking keys in the mitts of this#so im stuck in this stupid fucking house with all the reminders of everything#I have to listen to all the people saying im so sorry for your loss when im just so angry at him#im still mad#he hurt me he hurt my brother and my mom#but i have to pretend it was all okay for the sake of everyone else#and i have tk grapple with the fact my stupid fucking aunts are going to try and do a bunch of bullshit#they are going to try to move my nonni out of the house despite us taking plent care of her and them being bitches to hrr
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hecksupremechips · 1 year
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God every day I think about Akane’s breakdown in door 3 because there really is no correct way to interpret that and every possibility makes me crazy. Like she sees this fucked up corpse whom Junpei (and the player, depending on how they play) believes is their friend Snake, but she knows that it’s Guy X. It’s a man she very intentionally put in the game for this very purpose, so that he could die horrifically and be displayed for everyone to see. And she has a full mental breakdown over being trapped in this room with the corpse, being trapped by Junpei, to the point where she rips out her hair and starts bleeding from how much she bangs on the door screaming to get out. And fuck, there’s so many possibilities like
Akane could be feeling genuine terror over the sight of the body, and with that remorse. She made this happen, she wanted this to happen, and now she’s forced to quite literally watch the damage she’s caused unfold. She can detach herself from his murder easily in other timelines where she doesn’t have to look at it, and she can sleep easy knowing that her hands are technically clean because she didn’t do the literal killing. But she can’t do that here, and she has to face the fact that not only did she happily cause this death, she failed her mission. She isn’t going to survive, and now this man is dead for nothing and everything is her fault
On the other hand, her entire breakdown could be completely fabricated in order to keep playing the role of the damsel in distress who is so innocent that the very sight of blood drives her to insanity. The interesting part about this is that if she could fake such a horrific breakdown, just how much of her personality a facade? We know she wants revenge, for everyone from Cradle to feel even an ounce of the pain she and so many others went through, but we don’t get to see the extent of how much she feels this way. We never hear directly from Akane about her feelings on any of the original organizers, just her note about her desire to punish them. She hates them, but does she see their deaths as a necessary evil, or does she feel joy and satisfaction at watching them go? It’s absolutely horrifying not knowing, not being able to see her true feelings, not knowing just how real or fake she is, the extent of her madness. Perhaps she doesn’t even know that herself
IN OTHER WORDS, it’s fucked
#zero escape#akane kurashiki#the truth lies somewhere in the middle im sure#but god both possibilities are so tasty#personally i think her reaction is fake to an extent like i think she does feel at least some joy over the murders#shes doing a good deed and ridding the world of evil#but i think that this is a rare moment where she actually thinks for a minute about what shes done and how its fucked#like shes never truly present in the moment she can never fully grasp the severity of the trauma#and i kinda want to believe that this route is a bit unexpected for her#like she had to have known it was a possibility but its entire existence relies on junpei betraying the others#and i think that she was ready to write it off as a rare possibility so she didnt worry about it too much#because the only thing holding junpei back from choosing door 3 is aoi saying that picking it would require leaving people to die#and akane has nothing but her trust that junpei is good and wouldnt do something so horrible to rely on#but then it happens and she cant handle the uncertainty she wasnt ready for ANY of this to happen#not only did junpei betray the others he betrayed HER in so many ways he doesnt realize#he did what he thought was good for june but its exactly the opposite hes not only damned her#but he trapped her in a room with the disgusting corpse that she put there and everything throws her off#and she has to confront that even junpei is unpredictable and is capable of evil and that she herself has fucked up so much#she cant escape this without literally STEPPING INTO the entrails of someone she killed#and its all just too much and she completely loses it#so yeah for me its less a mental breakdown cuz she feels bad for murder#but more a breakdown because shes been betrayed and caught off guard and has a brief realization of how terrifying her actions are#those may sound the same but they arent please guys please :(#as you can see im very normal about this and good god 999 is so fucking good
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snekdood · 11 months
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amazing. the right has successfully divided trans mascs and fems.
we’re all gonna die, lmao.
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strwbrymlkshake · 2 months
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I am trying so hard but it still isn't ENOUGH FOR YOU? DON'T YOU SEE HOW HARD I'VE BEEN TRYING?
#mine#normally i've been good about not being too upset over things#but oh fucking boy. okay. im glad people are scared of me#i hope they know that im the only right one in the whole world and they are wrong and are justified for fearing me and im glad my existence#will turn them off from sharing their wrong opinions. but oh FUCKING BOY? ive been sitting here the whole time like oh they hate me#oh they hate me so much they want me to die wahhh and im trying to do all the things they like because im for some reason fucking bothered#by their other opinions. even though the people themselves are useless trash#and oh. like i was suspecting it but its finally confirmed huh??? you all cant fucking stand the sight of me because im right?#you dont understand the truth?? they hated him because he told them the truth? thats me as fuck rn dude#i am literally gracing your eyes with the content i make and basically hand feeding you the correct opinions to have#and yet you still reject them! people just love being stupid unfortunately. i want to kill them all.#i would be so much nicer if you all just agreed with me on the objective truth but unfortunate you have to be stupid#i have graced you with so many GIFTS and protected you from my wrath so many times but you do not even give a fuck#WHY AM I CRYING. YOU ARE ALL SO USELESS WHY AM I CRYING!!! MAYBE ITS BECAUSE YOU DONT AGREE?#i guess im crying because they are all so stupid#so what im saying is its very unfortunate that everyone does not worship me and all my opinions and the world is very hard. yes.#friendship ended with self hatred now delusions of grandeur are my new best friend#even trhing to explain myself makes me sound like a shithead but i swear to fuck if you all just listened to me like youre supposed to#then absolutely nothing would ever go wrong! but you all had to be stupid on purpose! do you like being wrong? whats your problem#explaining all the reasons im RIGHT and yet i still feel bad for having the gall to do so. i shouldnt feel bad. im doing great. youre just#uncomfortable in the fact that YOURE wrong and making me have to accomodate you for your wrongness? tf is that about#okay lunatic rant over i have finished crying ☝️
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soldier-poet-king · 1 year
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I am not obligated to argue with people on the internet. The internet is not a good place for debate or genuine discourse.
I am not obligated to argue with people on the internet. The internet is not a good place for debate or genuine discourse.
I am not obligated to argue with people on the internet. The internet is not a good place for debate or genuine discourse.
#affirmations for myself on this god abandonded afternoon#girl help. the trads found my niceness post.#its like. the garfield meme. huh. wonder who that's about#bestie it was ABOUT terfs and people being disgusting assholes#like you can hold whatever opinion and whether i agree or not is irrelevant#to if youre gonna treat someone like a human being#and not preach truth in love or whatever bullshit you wanna call ur assholery#would you say this shit to Christ's face???? no??? then stfu#also I DIDNT say niceness was a a virtue#i said mercy and compassion were#but even if i WASNT acting out of compassion and love#i would still choose niceness over whatever bullshit y'all got going on in the name of truth or whatver#literally. always alwayd always always forever and ever i will err on the side of mercy and charity#and not of what yall are calling truth and justice#bc. truly. i dont think thats it. i dont think thats divine justice.#the mercy-justice continuum is more complex. who am i to make that decision#what pride must i have to act as if i understand or speak for the divine#i know what i am and what i am capable of. and it is small kindness above all else#i cant be snarky and sharp tongued and self righteous. i cant stand it i cant abide it#i hate it perhaps more than anything but because i WAS that awful person#im not even sorry for being a little harsh. thats untrue. i am sorry. but im not sorry for believing this callous cruelty to be a injustice#an injustice perpetuated in the name of so called justice and truth
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fairyreblogs · 5 months
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man i dont know why (i have theories but hold on) but the fandoms Ive been in on the internet have been a little meaner these last few years. like i dont get nice comments on my fics anymore. i get ones with no reading comprehension or i get angry ones or i get ones that are enthusiastic and delighted but instead of any decorum they are like. aggressive in their delight. usually just a demand for more content. something has definitely changed in how people in fandoms interact with one another. my theories are just like. younger generations more comfortable with the internet not being as polite as older people on the internet are combined with quarantine kinda ruining a lot of peoples ability to interact socially (mine was ruined too to be fair). but like lately ive been in search of a fandom thats not the markiplier fandom that is nice to me and not aggressively-enthusiastic-weird (but i might take this too) and its kinda hard to find one. i dont know if i just dont have interests that align with happy communities, or what.
#markiplier fandom nice to me forever and ever.#sometimes they get me on edge when they demand i update and dont even say like 'nice fic i liked this' they just say 'update'#but thats literally like the meanest fan ive met so 👍#fnaf fandom is interesting. you definitely gotta treat them the way you want to be treated or theyre not gonna be nice#unfortunately this means you cant joke too much with them.#uh. moment of truth. percy jackson fandom kinda mean. ok they are mean. no kinda. also no reading comprehension#definitely a fandom that bonds by choosing something to nitpick and hate together. which sucks if you liked that thing they chosen that wee#my little corner of the xmen fandom has actually gotten nicer as time goes on. but also more obsessed with details and accuracy#but my corner of the xmen fandom was still nice enough that i adore them even if i havent been in it in ages#marvel is very so-so depending on where you are in the fandom but its such a large fanbase it is what it is. normal#witcher fandom from my experience has been pretty chill but i havent done much as a content creator for them to really know#d:be human is. decent. unfortunately a lot of outside hate there that it kinda outweighs how polite the fans are#star wars.... well. if you find your niche good for you! nice people. but if you get too generalized with your niche. rip#sw fandom when you study mando'a or dai bendu: hai X3 !!#sw fandom when you get too generalized and talk 'prequel vs sequel': die#vent#this is funny because i was really nice about this sw comment. but its generalized. which means someone will tell me to die.#why do i know this? because ive made this comment about the sw fandom before. =_=
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hartmannyoukaigirl · 9 months
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people who are batshit insane bipolar narcissists who happen to take an unfortunate interest in religion: yeah like I get told off by my entire family because I won't stfu about how they're all going to hell. I can't believe them. or when I tell my friend the same thing and they insult me or call me too religious like I am literally stating facts?? not my fault it's god's 🙄 can't believe they're following religion wrongly and not like My Holy Interpretation and way of practice
#no bc. i am muslim and 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀 its a struggle if not for my absolute convinction in god#man. honestly#i'll like a story and then come online or talk to someone else about it and they'll have the most absurd and obviously wrong interpretation#so of course something like this happens with something so important as religion. the vast majority of people are stupid no matter what#unfortunately#idk im not denying the quran either. i Really Really hate being delusional and denying whats Infront of me or whats otherwise#literally the truth of. everything#but yknow we are human... the truth is that we aren't angels who do no wrong and are perfect and we shouldnt treat others like that#like i cant fathom seeing someone do something even factually wrong and instead of trying to figure out the Core reason theyre doing that#or their feelings or their mentality#which are the cause and root of everything btw#you just insult them and call them names and say theyre better not practicing at all or FORCING THEM to do whats right#like idfc if the thing youre forcing them to do IS factually right I do not care youre ruining and tainting islam by your actions.#that mentality is so disgusting. to be the judge of someone and order them around#at the end of everything Everyone has their own opinion and choice#if you truly are convinced islam is right then you won't force your child to practice. your child will eventually practice by themselves#when they grow up! and realize how the world works#and if they dont then oh well. everyone is going to be judged alone and that's their problem yknow#it may be incredibly frusterating but ultimately cope#theres nothing right that will be right with yelling and fighting and screaming and force.
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butimjustaliar · 4 months
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i still dont know whether guilt tripping people into donating to those in need is completely the wrong course of action or the only right one
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ouroboobos · 1 year
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said "ew as if!" the other day and everyone looked at me weird and a couple people laughed HAVE WE ALL FORGOTTEN OUR FUCKING ROOTS??
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maplesyrupsainz · 25 days
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hi hi! I really like your imagines <3
Could I request a Charles imagine? Where the reader is the daughter of Toto Wolff and she and Charles have been secretly dating. After Charles wins the WDC, the reader hardlaunches their relationship and everyone is freaking out about it.
Thank you sm!!
pairing: charles leclerc x wolff!reader y/n (she/her)
genre: imagine/smau
warnings: just fluff, kind of short too
prompt: custom you and [driver] are finally ready to hard launch your relationship
a/n: this request inspired something in me LOL hope u like it?! wasnt sure if the req wanted smau or written but u got both instead LOL
my masterlist | my 1k celebration
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instagram ->
ynwolff
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liked by georgerussell63, charles_leclerc, and 396,184 others
ynwolff merc girl lifeeeee
view all 6,273 comments
user1 helloooo?? the flowers
user2 i bet she gets 100 bouquets a day
user3 i wish i had her life
user4 world's best nepo baby
charles_leclerc would look better in ferrari merch
ynwolff you would say that
mercedesamgf1 back off
charles_leclerc 👀
messages ->
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˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
at first, the idea of sharing your relationship with the world terrified you. the things people might say, what they'd think. but, you realised, as time progressed, that the idea of not sharing and people not knowing about your relationship seemed even scarier; you were becoming somewhat desperate to let the world know that charles leclerc was your boyfriend.
the only issue was gaining your father's approval. you had convinced yourself it would be easy to obtain, but the harder you thought about it the less you agreed with that sentiment. but, you couldn't hide forever.
˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
the formula one season had flown by you in a rush of lights; you blinked and it was almost over. it had been a thrilling title fight between max verstappen and charles, and this race was the decider.
you're pretty sure that you didn't take a breath for the whole race, closing your eyes on multiple occasions. no one knew what had you so invested in this race in particular; being the mercedes team principal's daughter, you had come to many a race and tended not to be that interested in the sport. in truth, you did enjoy it but it had been your whole life, you assumed it was normal to become somewhat burnt out.
twitter ->
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˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
you had never ran quite like it; from the mercedes garage to ferrari. all you knew was that you had to be there for him when he got out of the car. in that moment, you didn't care who saw or what they thought or if they found out the truth about your relationship with charles. all that mattered was him.
and when you saw him, you knew he felt the same as you did. you broke out into a grin as his eyes caught yours and, before you knew it, his lips were on yours and your face in his hands. shutter sounds and flashings of cameras surrounded you, your head spinning, your heart swelling with pride; your boyfriend had won his first drivers' championship.
instagram ->
f1wagupdates
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liked by charles_leclerc, susie_wolff, and 183,274 others
f1wagupdates after an olympic-esque dash from the mercedes garage to ferrari, y/n wolff joined charles leclerc in the celebration of winning his first ever wdc! is this the hard launch of a secret relationship? what does toto think? 👀 thoughts?
tagged: charles_leclerc, ynwolff
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user5 CHARLES IS THE ONE WHO GOT HER THE FLOWERS
user6 omg i never would've guessed this
user7 charles AND susie in the likes omg😭😭😭
user8 OMG OBSESSED WITH THESE TWO
user9 the way she ran
user10 literally soo iconic
user11 me when
ynwolff
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liked by charles_leclerc, susie_wolff, and 679,926 others
ynwolff sorry dad
tagged: charles_leclerc
view all 14,273 comments
user12 the tshirt HAHAHA
user13 omg she's so real
user14 i still cant believe this
user15 THey R SO CUTE WTF
user16 how did they keep this a secret omg
susie_wolff i love my new son in law!
charles_leclerc 🥰🥰
ynwolff love you 🙆‍♀️
user17 ofc susie loves them tgthr
user18 wonder what toto thinks 💀
user19 the caption
user20 him bringing her breakfast in bed omg
user21 this is all i'll ever talk abt ever again
user22 f1 twt found dead
user23 we lost a real one gang (y/n wolff)
charles_leclerc love my girl
yourusername 🥺 love you crazy amounts
user24 STOP ITTTT
lewishamilton y/n toto said answer the phone
ynwolff my phone is dead rn sorry
user25 💀
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astrxealis · 2 years
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#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#sowry vent-kinda on main#it just SUCKS ... i feel terrible but i don't even know why !!!!!#i think one reason is bcs pms LMFAO but also i just hate it rn i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it#idk what to do or think i just want to tear off my head and punch my brain#n then i want to disappear and burn down the world#n then i just don't want to do anything#and i know at least that i'm not okay even if idk what at all what i'm even feeling#and i want to depend on others but ultimately there never is anyone even with what others say#or maybe i've just become too good at fooling others and hiding it all that i even confuse mysrlf#on another note i love raha sm hes my comfort character i wna cry to him#<- not really rn tbh. i just wanted to say smth that seemed brughter#i hate lies but saying untruthful statements comes so easily to me. wow!#i despise lies for a couple of reasons but one is bcs i had a friend snd she wld say a lot fo stuff#like she knew celebrities and she yeah and whayever and i dont think it was all false#maybe most of it was even true! but i believed literally everything and ay the end it kinda ruined stuff for a while bcs i didnt know which#truth and lie anymore so i just accused her of lying the whole time idk i cant rmbr the specifics#this is p interesting to me bcs i forgot what i was about to say jesus christ#ajyways right ya as a kid i really believed stuff like that easilyjtehjewidis :')#anyways#uh idk#i think i should listen to music and maybe list down my thoughts#or cry sometime later so that i can let it out! :]
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celaenaeiln · 2 months
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who do you think each bats' favourite sibling is canonically? i haven't seen much about this outside of super fanon stuff so i'm curious
Let's start with the easiest one!
Tim - Dick
Tim's favorite sibling but also favorite person ever is unquestionably, undoubtedly Dick. This boy adores his big brother. He's full-on obsessed with him.
His thoughts on Dick are just a compilation of praises about him and his inner dialogue simply consists of a series of hero worship.
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Robin (1993) Issue #32
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Red Robin Issue #23
Sometimes I ponder about Dick and Tim's relationship because I feel like what Tim wants from Dick isn't just a brother, I feel like he wants him to be a parent which is part of the reason why Tim and Damian don't get along.
Because the truth is, before Damian came along, Tim was Dick's robin first. And Tim loved it.
(This post was on hold for months because I needed that exact panel where Tim says to Dick "It's obvious he wants us to be the new batman and Robin." BuT i CaNt FiNd It. I literally give up, if anyone know what panel I'm referring to people reblog it with the panel and I'll upload it with the post)
Dick was Tim's Robin and everything he did he wanted to live up to him
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Batman/Catwoman: The Gotham War: Scorched Earth
Look at what he says about Dick:
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Batman: A Lonely Place of Dying
Even before Dick and Tim met again, Tim started working out just so he could be like his idol. Tim literally says to Dick "My grades are okay but I studied because I wanted to just like you."
You know what they say about idols and pedestals and never meeting your heroes? The opposite is true for Tim about Dick. After meeting Dick for the second time, his idol worship grew so much it shattered every ceiling in existence.
Tim loves him so so much. People sometimes misunderstand and think that Tim hated Dick when he fired him from Robin but it wasn't hate that Tim felt. It was jealousy. Jealousy over Dick choosing Damian over him.
Tim even solely used the Red Robin persona for the mere reason that he didn't want to dirty Dick's Robin by stigmatizing it with his less ethical actions.
Damian - Dick
Obviously. The only reason I said Tim was the easiest is because Tim's inner and outer thoughts about Dick can be complied to create volumes of fanbooks of flowing poetry about him. Damian on the other hand is more of a tsundere, but there's still only one person who he loves aside from his father and even more than.
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Robin War Issue #1
If there were any doubts, I don't think this panel could be any clearer about who Damian's favorite is.
Stephanie - Cass
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Batgirl (2000) Issue #38
Cass - Stephanie
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Batgirls (2016) Issue #14
Damn.
Steph and Cass are each other's favorites
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Detective Comics (1937) Issue #945
Duke - noone? everyone?
Like actually I can't pick out one person Duke likes the best. You're either on his wavelength or he's snarking you off it. He's the type of guy where everyone likes him and he's chilling by himself, doing whatever he wants.
Jason - Dick
Out of the batkids who did deal with Jason during his worst phase, Dick is unilaterally his favorite. Sometimes when I think about Jason's relationship with Bruce, I'm reminded of how much Jason and Bruce are alike sometimes because Jason's view on Dick is almost identical to Bruce's view on Dick and they even have similar reactions. We all know that Bruce hero-worships Dick. Time and time again, Bruce emphasizes, stresses, and talks about how amazing Dick is and how he's so much better than him, and constantly places Dick on a pedestal. The issue comes when Dick doesn't want to do what Bruce wants him to do because he believes that Dick is an extension of himself, his better half, and he's furious when Dick doesn't follow or accept what he's doing because Dick should know what Bruce is trying to do because he's supposed to be better than him, how dare he stop him, etc.
Jason acts in similar ways to Dick. There's a whole issue where Jason gets fear gassed and one of his biggest fears is Dick. More specifically, it's about how amazing Dick is and never living up to him because in Jason's eyes, Dick is absolutely perfect. There is no one better than him because he is the peak of everything. He places Dick on the highest pedestal there is and he kind of safeguards Dick there in his heart. He used to get really angry because he believes Dick is the best but also refuses to let Dick be anything other than the best. The best way I have to explain them is Jason holding Dick prisoner as a result of his hero worship.
Once Jason is slightly calmer, his relationship dynamics with everyone became really clear, as well as what he thinks of them and it's shown how the way he treats Dick is just different.
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Task Force Z Issue #8
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Grayson Issue #12
"You don't do that to your--you don't do that to another Robin!"
He was going to say brother 🥺🥺
In this scene, it's pretty obvious that Jason loves Dick a lot but he's obviously not going to be all fuzzy feelings about it because he likes to be edgy. Jason's a little confusing in general for people to understand because they expect him to be nice and open but Jason's not nice, he's just nicer to the people he likes. Once we start understanding that, he becomes clearer.
And to Dick -
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Nightwing (2016) Issue #15
-He's exceptionally nicer.
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DC's Ghouls Just Wanna Have Fun Issue #1
Another example of why Jason loves Dick the most is because in the comics, Jason doesn't work with anyone in the family unless he has to unless it's Dick because he chooses to work with Dick by choice.
Dick - Tim or Damian
Dick adores Tim so freaking much. He loves him so, so much.
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Nightwing (1996) Issue #139
Catch me crying behind my sunglasses at Dick kissing Tim's head lovingly 😭
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Robin (1993) Issue #12
I just love these soft touch moments Dick has with Tim. It's so incredibly sweet.
He was Tim's mentor
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The New Titans (1988) Issue #65
and a really good one too.
He loves him-
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Detective Comics (1937) Issue #696
-so much.
(I'd add more panels but I ran out of image space :'0)
I genuinely cannot say who he loves more at all. I can't even pick. I really do think he loves them evenly because when I think about leaning one side, more evidence comes to mind for the other side like a pair of counter weights.
Damian...I don't really need to say any words because the pictures speak for themselves
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Batman (2016) Issue #34
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Grayson Issue #12
aldskjdhkdjfhldfah;dh. Look at what he gave his son! A souvenir from the first time his dad met his mom because Dick knows how much Damian loves his parents <333!! There's nothing I can even say more.
Here's my previous post on Dick and Damian's relationship.
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diggykit-kat · 3 months
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𝑫𝒐𝒈𝑫𝒂𝒚 x Reader Pt.3
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Although it was out of character for him to do such a thing, you wrote it off...he's still a good person...right? There was nothing wrong with it, you just forgot about it. You needed it in order to survive, right?
It was late and you've been doing well. DogDay made sure to feed you a large amount of the strange meat. Its taste grew on you, despite it coming from a possibly dead fucking body.
You lay in the den, your back up against DogDay's leg. He plays with your hair and makes sure to keep you safe from the entities outside of this ‘safe zone’
"Little Angel...I have a question. Do you have family that's looking for you right now?" he asks while brushing his hand through your hair. It felt nice. He continued to stroke your hair, letting you rest in his grip.
You looked up at him and said “No, I just came out of thin air, and pop I’m here! Matter of fact I am not even excited” You snickered
DogDay gave you a quick smirk. "Smart-aleck, hm? You know well that's a lie. You never talk about your past. Your past that involves family...friends...I don't know, it's like you just want to pretend it never happened."
“Oh, I don’t want to hear you talk after the whole ass MEAT incident. I don't hear you going around and saying, ‘Well I just gave a human another human!”
Your words stung DogDay. The dog growled "Don't you even dare say that. I'm only doing this for your safety. Do you know what would've happened if I let you starve out there? You'd have died like the rest. You would've been torn to literal SHREDS by the Mini Smiling Critters...you'd have died horribly. I'm trying to keep YOU alive, doll, and that's the truth."
…you open your mouth to say something before dropping it and shrug “damn- well I can’t say anything to that. Fuck.”
DogDay nodded and kept petting your hair. “I know what i do looks horrible, but I'm the only one that wants to keep you safe. Everyone else just wants you dead. I’m doing all of this because I care. I’ve never really cared or liked anything else in my life, but with you…it's different. I…I care about you. So much, and I can't let you go.”
Your jaw drops “YOU CANT SAY THAT TO A FUCKING CHILD! You know how wrong that is. Never tell I child that, Jesus Christ!”
"I don't care." DogDay spoke softly again, his tone was full of remorse. "I don't care what anyone else thinks. Because at the end of the day, I'm the only person that you're stuck with. I don't care if it's wrong. Don't you see that I care for you more than anyone else? I'm all you've got...that's a fact."
“Damn you can’t gaslight anyone these days” you muttered “I had a whole thing going” You sighed and crossed your arms
He laughs and keeps stroking your hair. "I know, aren't I cruel? So awful, right?" he chuckled, seemingly enjoying that you were getting annoyed. He sighed. "But...you have to realize, you are stuck here. I've kept you from danger and kept you from dying. And I mean...you do like my cooking...right?"
“I mean I tasted better in the school cafeteria” you whisper
DogDay's head snapped towards you suddenly like a predator. "You...what did you say?"
Before you could even open your mouth there was an ungodly sound, like bones rubbing together…CatNap.
DogDay froze, his ears and tail dropping. You could see him shaking like a leaf. CatNap was here. "...stay as quiet as you can..." he whispered
You nodded and followed along with DogDay
You hid in the closet...hiding behind the coats in it. In just a few seconds, the door flew off its hinges. CatNap appeared in the opening of the doorway. His body was covered in blood...some fresh, others dried, and some...rotting. "There you are, DogDay...I see you're hiding." CatNap's voice was warped and twisted into an evil mockery of a normal person's voice...like a psychopath.
CatNap raised his hands and laughed evilly. "I heard you two talking...don't you dare think I wouldn't stop by. You're such a predictable creature DogDay...and you...little child"
You scoffed “Hey I'm pretty tall for my age you Pussy!”
"Pussy? Oh...oh how sweet. That's cute. Do you really believe that I'll take offense to that? You have a lot of balls, little child."
You gasp and cover your mouth “Ooo he cussed”
DogDay yells “NOW IS NOT THE TIME ANGEL”
CatNap sniggered and looked down at DogDay. "Oh, you're actually protecting her? Now that's a first for you. I wonder how she'd taste...just a taste would probably do..."
DogDay snarled “Don't you go near her you baste-”
CatNap's arm shot out, wrapping around DogDay's throat. He tightened his grip. "You're protecting a human...after I told you to take her out into that warzone and let her fend for herself...you've always been weak. Always following orders blindly, like a puppet, never thinking for yourself."
“DOGDAY!!!” You screamed
CatNap laugh as DogDay gasped for air. "Ah, yes...you're quite loud..too bad your screams won't reach anyone. But oh. I forgot"
You grabbed a broken pipe nearby, swatting his head forcefully as you could with it, cutting your hands in the proces, DogDay gets dropped to the ground as catnap roars, scrambling away “NOW THAT'S A PUSSY!” You yelled
as CatNap ran off you ran over to DogDay who was coughing like he just smoked ten pounds of weed
“DogDay…are you okay? Are you hurt”
DogDay took several deep breaths as he looked up at you. "I should be asking that to you, doll. Are you okay?" then he gave you a small smirk. "You know...I didn't know how you were capable of swinging that thing with such ease...you remind me of someone. You're a fierce little warrior, aren't you?"
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binniebakery · 4 months
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lights off
College AU Bestfriend!Beomgyu x Gn!Reader .. not exactly fluff! kinda suggestive? ♡ Warnings: thunder? rain? ig being in the dark? my first time writing kissing .. my first time actually writing ANYTHING so it might be bad im so sorry guys ♡ A/N: this is my first little fic (if you could call it that)! i literally hate it but i think i got the point across LOLL regardless i hope someone will enjoy please lmk what you think <3 lowercase intended + not proofread ~
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7:32 pm. sighing softly, you placed your phone that was softly playing your favorite tunes back down on the small table over your lap. you tapped your pencil on the table in frustration as you once again for the fifth time readjusted your legs on the bed of your best friend's bedroom. time was going by excruciatingly slow and it didnt help that this math problem was taking you a million years to solve. the sun had already set outside and heading back to your dorm seemed less favorable by the minute. hearing a soft shuffle from the other side of the room you looked up at your best friend. rain began to patter outside. looks like you'll be staying for longer than you intended. beomgyu, who had his deep-colored headphones on was moving his head to the music as he wrote down notes from his study guide. his hair softly wrapped around his features most attractively. you began to mentally trace the lines of his nose, his eyes… his lips.. the dim lighting of the room adding more charm to his aura. "y/n..? are you okay? i could feel you burning holes into my head." beomgyu said as he shook off his headphones to fully put his attention was on you. snapped out of your daze, you mentally kicked yourself as you felt embarrassment creep onto your cheeks. how long had you been staring at him for..? "sorry gyu. if i was staring i didnt mean to" you softly laughed, trying to seem nonchalant and cool about the situation. beomgyu, seeing your embarrassment, chuckled at your reaction. "youre okay, i know you look at me because im cute" he grinned and you rolled your eyes. "oh shut up! you know i was daydreaming. i cant focus on this assignment anyways, its too hard. i think im gonna just finish it tomorrow." you smiled as you threw a pillow at him. he was always cheeky when he had the opportunity. anything to see you react. "daydreaming? so you do think im cute?" he grinned wider after recovering from your pillow attack. you huffed and placed the table that was on your lap onto the ground. "you know youre so-.. ugh and what if i do think you're cute?! what would you even do about it, huh?" you retaliated as you sat on the edge of his bed, now fully facing him. you faked a pout as you were feeling a bit bolder than usual today. your homework giving you enough pent-up rage to have the energy to give in to his bickering.
"okay well i dont know how much truth there is to that but if you really meant that id probably kiss you." your eyes widened at his response. you see beomgyu's face turn into an unreadable expression. he hadnt realized you were only half joking and fully meant the compliment, but it was too late and by the time he caught wind that you were actually flustered he felt his stomach flip. even he was shocked by his own words. he slipped. had he said too much? after a few seconds of silence that felt like minutes. the rain outside seemed to get louder. his eyes finally met yours and you looked away. you felt your heart pounding at the thought of you saying too much. both of you overthinking the situation and awkwardness that you both never have had before taking place. you and beomgyu have never had an awkward moment like this. normally you both laugh things off but this time felt different. "you trust me right?" his voice sounded sincere. this tone was rare for you to hear from him but you knew immediately he was being genuine with his question. "h- huh? yeah of course.. why?" you responded. "okay well.." you noticed beomgyu was now fiddling with his headphones, it seemed like he was turning all the gears in his head to get out what he wanted to say. "y/n.. theres a chance you may have not been telling the truth but if you were- look regardless if you meant it, i meant what i said." you could feel your stomach turning. he hardly flirted with you but when he did it always felt different from his usual teasing. you never said anything though, in fear of ruining your friendship. yet you always thought about what it would be like if he also returned the feelings you felt.
the room's atmosphere seemed to change. suddenly you were both hyper-aware of his neon led light being the only source of light aside from his computer. your playlist had stopped and the silence felt unbearable. in one swift move, he stood up, and turned off the led light on his wall.
the room was a lot darker now, his computer screen's light being the only way of telling you what he was going to do next. you watched as he plopped down next to you. he was so close that you could see the slight tinge of pink on his ears. your senses began to be filled with the light scent of his cologne. "i.. look- the only way i can say or do this is if the lights are off- im not trying to be weird its just you make me so nervous.. i cant look at you." he mumbled as he looked at your hands resting on your lap. it was so dark and both your hearts were racing. "gyu.. " was all you could muster with his hands now softly on yours.
"can i…" beomgyu began as he leaned in closer, only centimeters away from your face. his eyes staring intently into yours. he had this look of pure admiration, nervousness and love. it was all too surreal. realizing what he was asking, you silently nodded as you stared at his lips. he pressed his forehead on yours, the thick tension in the air causing your body to tingle in anticipation. as you felt his hair softly tickle your features from him leaning in, your lips connected. he kissed you oh so softly as he held your cheek gently. your hands, as if moving on their own, were softly placed on his arms. his lips softly moving along your own. he was patient. it felt as if he was waiting for you to respond, unsure if what he was doing was okay with you. you moved your head to the side slightly to deepen the kiss, causing him to sigh. it was all he needed to know you felt the same. his hands moved to your waist as you settled your fingers into his long hair. softly pushing him towards you to intensify the kiss. all that could be heard was the rain outside aside from the soft exchange of sighs and hands roaming. "ive liked you for so long.. you have no idea.." he began between kisses. it was all passionate, slow, and tender as if he was handling you like glass. his hands pulled your waist impossibly closer to his. he separated first, leaving you craving for more. "trust me, i liked you so much i was so scared you didnt feel the same way despite you teasing me the way you did." you chuckled as you pecked his cheek. "you drive me insane.." he softly spoke. "y/n, every time i tried to say something.. my brain just went to mush.. its so bad i swear. i could only be this confident with the lights off.." beomgyu laughed as his eyes began to trail your facial features. he was admiring every curve and feature, and at that point, both your faces were impossibly red. "gyu.. can you just.. kiss me again..?" your voice came out hardly a whisper. "i like you so much i feel like im going insane from the way you just confessed." he smiled fondly at your words and nodded, leaning in once again. as soon as your lips touched you could both practically feel the electricity pouring through your bodies. as if on cue, thunder struck the moment you connected again. your arms wrapped impossibly tight around him, slightly tugging and playing with his hair. his arms remained at your waist, slightly circling over the shirt you wore. you could feel the warmth of his fingers through the fabric.
his tongue slightly swiped along your lips for permission, and you parted your lips in response. having his tongue explore your mouth had your brain going numb. time felt like it had stopped, with just the rain as your only witness to the quiet whispers and confessions that only you two could hear. when you both finally were running out of breath, you separated with beomgyu looking into your eyes. you stared back, lips equally as glossy as his. "are you.. going back to your dorm yet?" thunder struck once again, as if responding to his question. you smiled. "its raining a little too hard dont you think?" beomgyu chuckled, realizing how silly his question was. "yeah. youre right, i think you should stay." you bit your lip as you pulled off each other, both of you immediately missing the warmth. beomgyu shook his head fixing his now fluffed hair thanks to you as he ran his fingers through. he then stood up to turn the led light he had turned off previously back on. "so.. how about we watch a movie?" he spoke as the light clicked. you could almost burst into laughter from the question given the events that just happened a minute prior. give it to choi beomgyu, your best friend, to turn a situation less awkward by simply being his charismatic self. the personality you fell for since day one of knowing him.
"sure gyu, but.." you trailed off, shy about what you were about to say next. honestly, could this get any more awkward? "yeah?" he turned to you and tilted his head in that attractive way he does. "leave the lights off." you looked at him with a shy smile. he flushed at your words. and for the last time again, lightning struck. "yeah.. lights off" he replied, led light clicking once again.
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taintedcigs · 5 months
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GETAWAY CAR — rockstar!e.m. x f!reader
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CHAPTER SEVEN: SHE'S THUNDERSTORMS
← prev chapter // next chapter →
✦ summary: in which corroded coffin performs at the hideout (wc: 9.3k+)
✦ warnings — angst, ANGST, arguments, FINALLY SOME DESERVED FLUFF, jealousy, jealous!menace!eddie, the kiddos make an appearance!!!, uhmm kissing,,, eddie and p are an old married couple, drinking, smoking/weed, uhm thats it i think.
✦ pairings — rockstar!eddie munson x fem!reader, past billy hargrove x fem!reader
✦ authors note — not proof-read i tried but i cant do it. pls ignore all mistakes. SO VERY SORRY FOR THE WAIT. hopefully this makes up for it. as usual the song is by arctic monkeys, and the other song mentioned is lover you should've come over by jeff buckley. but we'll pretend like its all by corroded coffin so shshsh.
anyway ily all pls interact + like + reblog to support me! i'd also LOVE LOVE to chat about anything abt this series it literally is my baby!! pls dont hesitate to send me an ask about anything mwah thank you for reading💗
series masterlist | series playlist
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“Dude, I’m telling you it was not my fault.” Gareth exasperated desperately, hands up in the air in defeat.
But Eddie was quick to shake his head, “You drove her here, how is it not your fucking fault, Gareth?” He spat, bitter and angry. 
“She insisted! She wants to apologize to Pinky!”
“What?” Confusion etched across Eddie’s face. 
With an annoyed sigh, “Yeah, the whole fuckin’ world has to revolve around her,” Gareth muttered under his breath, knowing that saying anything about you would drive Eddie crazy. 
“Watch it,” Eddie warned, mouth downturned in disgust almost immediately. 
“What? It’s the truth.”
“Gareth, I’m not gonna tell you this a second fuckin’ time, okay? Don’t do that shit around me and never say one fucking word about her again, you got that?” He gritted through his teeth, his hand unintentionally clenching into a fist. 
“Jesus Christ.” 
“I mean it,” Eddie spat.
“Fine, fine!” Gareth threw his hands up in defeat, both of them downing their drink before scurrying away. 
Shit.
You knew you shouldn’t have been eavesdropping, but it wasn’t your fault. You were just trying to get a drink for the group, surfing through the sea of people—which was unusual for The Hideout. Still, you guessed the only celebrity from Hawkins was enough to have people swarming in, and Gareth and Eddie happened to be chatting right behind you. 
Even though it stung to hear Gareth talk of you like you were the fucking anti-christ, hearing Eddie defend you like that had that familiar warmth spread through your entire body. And you hated it, you hated the soft spot you’d always have for him, how it would take you back to five years ago when he would be there for you, every single time. 
Fucking great, you had so many people to avoid tonight; Chrissy, Gareth, and Eddie. 
With a sigh, you quickly disappeared into the crowd, carrying a tray of drinks for everyone. Plopping it on the booth with a slight sloosh. 
Everyone reached for it and you were quick to slap away Max, Lucas, and Dustin’s curious hands. “Oh, come on!” Max protested with a groan. 
“Not legal,” you hummed with a narrowed gaze. “Yeah, I’m sure you were legal when you were shotgunning beers and smoking joints like it was your lifeline during senior year,” Lucas mumbled under his breath, quick to get settled into his seat with a huff. 
You gasped dramatically, “Lucas Sinclair!” Exclaiming as he gave you a simple shrug. 
“So what’s new with you and Mr. Rockstar, now?” He teased, and you narrowed your gaze at Max who snickered underneath her hand. 
“Nothing,” You mumbled, shying away from everyone’s gaze on you. 
“Good thing, we can always ask the other party, too,” Dustin chimed in with a smirk, head pointing toward behind you. 
There was a slow tap on your shoulder and you were quick to jerk your body around. 
Of course.
Eddie. 
His soft gaze was dumbly addicting, that boyish grin curled deliciously on his lips while amber eyes took you in wholly. 
His gaze wandered to your figure, the midnight blue dress embracing your figure, accentuating your curves, its hem grazed against your mid-thigh, allowing him to get a glimpse of your sun-kissed legs, simple but exuding how breathtakingly pretty you were. 
He couldn’t place why your brows were so tightly pinched together, or why your arms were crossed against your chest, plump lips downturned with a pout. Still, you looked so pretty, so alluring that he could barely form any sentence. 
Mind captured entirely by you, almost feeling paralyzed while he took you in. 
“H—hey!” He stammered, awkwardly putting his hands in the back pocket of his chained black jeans. He was just him, and oh, god, you were you. 
Plush lips that curled into the prettiest smile, the most captivating eyes, even when you seemingly looked upset, brows pinched together, those glossy lips downturned, you were perfect. 
You ignored Eddie’s greeting, your piercing glare was still not that noticeable to him, all he could think about was how beautiful you looked, and how he was glad that he saw you before his set. He wanted nothing more than to see you watching him perform the songs he wrote all about you. 
“Wow… Uhh—you look… amazing,” He mumbled, breath getting hitched on his throat when he saw your unreadable expression. 
And all you could do was give him a tight-lipped smile. Almost immediately wiping that glow off of his face, face going momentarily blank. 
But he should’ve expected this, he knew you wouldn’t jump into his arms at any opportunity, he deserved this. He needed to do more, he needed to win you back. 
He opened his mouth to speak, desperate, needing your approval, but you interrupted. “I—I’m going to get a drink,” you mumbled, face flushed with heat, you didn’t know how to act either. 
Eddie glanced over at the tray of drinks on the booth, with his head tilted, “there’s a bunch of drinks over there,” he mumbled, he didn’t want you to leave. 
“I can see that, but I still want my own,” you sassed with a narrowed gaze, not letting him talk back once you left to go to the bar. 
Eddie watched your figure leave with a deep sigh, turning to the booth to take one of the drinks. “I really fucked up, didn’t I?”
“Yup,” Steve muttered with a nod, and Eddie was quick to give him a death glare. 
“So, will you finally enlighten us on what happened with you and Mrs. Grumpy over there?” Dustin huffed impatiently, grabbing three drinks from the tray now that you were gone, handing the other two to Max and Lucas with a grin.  
“She didn’t tell you guys?” 
“No! Which is a shame because she usually can’t say no to my adorable face.” Dustin blinked quickly, batting his eyelashes while Eddie shook his head at him with a chuckle. 
“Oh c’mon, Eddie, just tell us!” Max let out an impatient huff, her captivating icy blue gaze was pleading in a way that he could never say no to.
These doofuses would always be his weakness. 
“Yeah, Eddie, pretty please?” Lucas added exaggeratedly, mocking Max as she hit him in the chest playfully. 
“Fine, fine!” He sighed, running his hand over his forehead in frustration.  
“But nothing really happened and I don’t think it’s—” When he felt everyone’s gaze piercing through him, he was quick to shut up.  “Okay, okay!” He huffed.  
“She came to my trailer guns ablaze and then just slammed the note against my chest, calling me a coward, and then I told her off—”
“Wait what?” Max was quick to interrupt him, brows pinching together. 
“Yeah, I told her I wasn’t the one who left.”
“Uh, I’m sorry, didn’t you kiss Chrissy in front of her?” Max taunted.
“Yeah, and did you not bring her to Steve’s?” Dustin added. 
With a huff, he turned back to Steve. “Jesus, Harrington, did you gang up all of them against me?” He just gave Eddie a shrug. 
“That’s not even the point! Everything has just become too convoluted with us,” He spat, anger returning quicker than you intended to, while the rest of the gang sipped their drinks with an ‘oof’.
“It’s not convoluted, just tell her how you feel!” Max inquired, gently, almost like she was trying not to tip him off. 
“I—” He took a deep breath. I will. He wished to say, but saying it out loud felt too real. And you were right, he was a coward.
“I’m gonna properly apologize and make things right by her,” he muttered, taking a big sip from his drink. 
“You better hurry up, rockstar,” Steve taunted smugly, the weird face he pulled was making crinkles appear on Eddie’s forehead.
Eddie’s head cocked toward Steve, aggressively. “You better tell her how sorry you fucking are.”
With an all-knowing snort, Steve’s finger accusingly pointed towards something behind him. “Or someone else might swoop in.” 
“Fuck off, Harrington,” Eddie mumbled, rolling his eyes before he turned around with a huff. 
Oh, shit. 
Everyone’s gaze turned toward Steve’s accusatory finger, a slight ‘shit’ escaping from Robin’s lips which Nancy elbowed gently to shut her up. 
Eddie could barely move, his entire face feeling hot and jaw clenching involuntarily, jealousy shooting through him faster than the alcohol swimming in his system. 
Because there you stood, in front of the bar, with your head tilted sideways, a pretty grin sitting on your lips, mellow gaze looking up at the guy in front of you—dirty blonde, hair cut shorter than Eddie’s but almost as long as Steve’s, wearing the most expensive and tidy outfit Eddie had ever seen—making him feel stupid for choosing to wear those black chained jeans. 
His scowl was anything but pretty, brows furrowing in a way that made him look like a complex puzzle, eyeing the way this stranger was touching you. 
“Oh, isn’t that—” Robin spoke up, and the entire table shushed her because they also realized exactly who that was. 
James.
Your ex, not Billy, of course, the other douchebag before Billy. 
He really wasn’t much of a douchebag, a genuine, nice guy, and to make matters worse he was a total gentleman; attributes Eddie would never call a typical high school Jock. 
The relationship only ended because he went to college one too many states away, the distance getting between the two of you, but Eddie always referred to him as ‘the douchebag’ The jealous feeling sunk into his chest even then. 
Rich kid, a jock in high school, older than both of you, someone who had his life together. Everything that Eddie never was. Everything Eddie always wished to be.
But now, seeing you with him made something almost click in Eddie’s head, like he was meant for you as he suited you much better than Eddie ever would. 
He could treat you much better than Eddie would, sure Eddie had his name now, the riches he never had back in high school. But he was still just Eddie.
And he was certain James never kissed Chrissy, he’d never fuck up like Eddie did.
He watched the way your eyes lit up when he was animatedly talking, his gentle touch on your arm, the smile that curled on your lips. 
What if he asked for your number? What if he wanted to reconnect? What if you said yes? Just because Eddie had been a total fucking idiot and couldn’t see what was right in front of him? 
He tried so hard to push the idea of the two of you together back into his mind. To make sure it never left, to make sure it never manifested. 
But the way his jaw clenched and the deadly glare burning through both of you showed that he couldn’t. 
He was jealous, a type of jealousy that quickly translated into anger, one he could almost feel on his skin, hot and prickling rage stabbing into his body, agonizingly slow, making it harder for him to stay glued there and not do anything the more he eyed the hold James had on you. He was standing too close for Eddie’s liking. 
Usually, he’d let this feeling sink back into his mind, take a breather, smoke a couple of cigarettes, and then act like nothing was wrong for the rest of the night while he spent it sulking. Keep that rage caged in his chest, so he could keep his feelings contained. 
But he couldn’t do that this time, no. He wasn’t going to be stupid enough to let you slip through his fingers, not again. He was going to fight for you, he was going to show you that you belonged with him. 
No matter what Mr. Fancy Pants could offer to you, he needed to tell you how he really felt, he needed to make sure you knew. Because even if he could feel the insecurities jabbing into his brain, he always knew, deep down that there was something there between the two of you. Something always left undiscovered because both of you were cowards.
He couldn’t let that happen again, he wasn’t going to go down without a fight. 
“Oh, I get the appeal now,” Max murmured, breaking the silence between everyone, and earning a hard glare from Eddie. 
“What? He seems nice, has pretty hair, much better than Steve’s, and that outfit probably cost more than your wedding,” Max spoke bluntly, now earning more than just the hard glare of Eddie, mouth hung open Steve looked offended, Nancy and Jonathan narrowed their gaze, but Robin snickered behind her hand, almost giving Max her approval. 
“Max!” Lucas reacted before them and Max furrowed her brows, a smirk earning her way to her lips. “You’re still my number one Lucas, don’t worry,” She hummed, pinching Lucas’ cheek and ignoring Dustin’s groan.
“Dude, why would you do that?” Dustin whispered, eyeing Eddie worriedly while nudging Steve by his jacket. 
With a dramatic huff, Steve pulled his collar back, “Relax, I know what I’m doing.” 
Eddie’s fingertips absentmindedly traced the rim of the glass in front of him, his eyes never leaving the two of you when he downed the drink, slamming it back on the booth, making everyone flinch. 
“I’ll be right back,” Eddie muttered, a forced chuckle escaping his lips. 
“What are you even going to do?” Robin inquired, almost mocking.
A smirk landed on Eddie’s face. “I’m not going down without a fight, Buckley.” 
“Not this fucking time,” he hissed, almost all the brows of the gang raising at his determination.
“I’m gonna tell her how I feel, and I’m not letting another douchebag ruin this,” Eddie mumbled, and a dumb smirk was placed on everyone’s face almost too quickly.
He was going for it, and the soap opera was continuing, the gang watched in excitement.
“Was he ever really a doucheba—” Dustin’s worries were quick to die down when he threw him a deadly glare.
Without another word, he stormed off to the side of the bar. Quick, too fucking quickly that it almost gave him a whiplash. He didn’t know what had taken over him, eyes burning the back of their figures as everyone else at the table watched him with a proud look. 
But the child-like jealousy he felt within his body was uncontainable, it felt like his face was almost too hot to touch, he was desperate, quite literally. 
The tap on James’ shoulder was anything but gentle, making him turn to Eddie with his pair of brows furrowed, and Eddie’s muscles were quick to tense. 
His dark gaze only softened when he looked back at you, muscles relaxing, and creased brows returning to their normal form. 
The jealousy eased inside of him, not dissipating quite enough, but slowing with one gaze from you.
Back in the booth, with another sip from his drink, Lucas huffed, “Five bucks says they’ll confess by tonight.” 
Robin was quick to snort at him, “You’re trusting them too much, kid, Steve’s ‘little push’ might help them,” She mumbled with a roll of her eyes. “But Jesus fucking Christ, just look at her face, she’s going to go off at him. The most they’ll probably do is have another fight, get just a little bit close to talking about their feelings, and then do it all over again.”
Steve, ignoring Robin’s theories, exclaimed with a smirk. “Ten bucks that Pinky will sleep with Eddie tonight!”
“I second that,” Max said with a grin.
“Steve!” Nancy warned with a disapproving tut. 
“What?” He huffed. 
“They’re kids!”
“We’re nineteen!” Max groaned. 
“I turn twenty next month!” Dustin chimed in. 
“Still!”
“Fine, fine!” Steve sighed with a glare at Nancy, “Then ten bucks that they’ll kiss tonight!” 
“No fucking way.” Robin shook her head. 
“Nah, they’ll at least kiss tonight,” Jonathan said with crossed arms. 
“Are you guys seriously betting on our friends?” Nancy said with a furrowed brow. 
They all nodded vigorously, “Fine,” Nancy muttered. 
“Then I second Steve, ten bucks for them sle-kissing.” Nancy corrected herself, earning a wicked grin from Steve. 
“Come on!” Robin groaned, dissatisfied by Nancy’s answer. 
“I agree with Robin,” said Dustin with a shrug.
“Finally!” Robin exclaimed, hands rubbing together in victory. “Someone with common sense. There’s no way those idiots are going to do anything but fight, just watch her come back here, all fuming about how much she hates Eddie.”
They all shrugged, going back to continue watching the soap opera unravel in front of them. 
“James!” Eddie greeted with faux excitement, a grin playing on his lips, amber gaze remaining on you. With your brows creased, ‘What the fuck are you doing?’ you mouthed behind their awkward hug.
He shrugged, and his hands clutched James’ shoulder harshly, making him chuckle awkwardly. “Munson, the man of the hour!” He greeted him with a beaming smile.
He really was too nice for his own good, wasn’t he?
“I’d ask what you were up to, but it seems you’ve been doing just fine, rockstar,” James exclaimed, returning a friendly slap to Eddie on his shoulder—in a much nicer way than Eddie intended with his.
You smiled uncomfortably, your gaze still throwing daggers at Eddie, who was actively avoiding it. “I have to say that last album? Fucking Christ, had it playing over and over again for days.” He beamed again, much to both of your dismay.
That all-knowing smirk on Eddie’s face disappeared, the unexpected compliment seemed to make him uncomfortable, conflicting with the defensive walls he had put up.
“Uhh—thanks man,” he chuckled awkwardly, casting a quick, scrutinizing glance at you, catching the small smirk on your lips.
“What have you been up to?” He asked, curiously, desperate to know what the two of you were talking about, nervous to see if the two of you would do anything more than this.
The confidence in the way James held himself, his slicked hair, his fancy outfits up close, Eddie’s insecurities washed him over once again. Now with that part of his brain convincing him that the two of you would somehow end up together again.
“Oh, you know, I was just in town, got a nice job here, thought I’d stop by to see Corroded Coffin play, been seeing the posters everywhere—great marketing by the way,” He hummed, flashing Eddie a smile. 
And Eddie returned a forced one, lips pursed together in annoyance. “and then I thought I’d get a drink, but then I heard this familiar voice next to me, yelling to the guy next to her to fuck off for attempting to steal her drink, and I thought oh that’s Pinky.” Eddie couldn’t help but not keep his gaze on you, studying your features, almost gauging your reaction, trying to nitpick something to fuel his jealousy. 
“Been a long time, but I’d never miss this one’s sassy voice and that pretty face,” He mumbled with a sly smirk, making Eddie’s face scrunch and almost making him scoff out loudly. 
“Oh, stop it!” You mumbled with a smile, all flattered, and Eddie’s gaze narrowed, jealousy overtaking him again. 
“So you two are… reconnecting for the old times' sake, huh?” Eddie asked through gritted teeth and you rolled your eyes at him. 
“Eddie—”
With a smile, James turned to you, “I mean I’d love to grab a drink, are you free tomorrow?”
“Ah! I wish I could, but I need to help Nancy out with some wedding stuff.”
“How about next wee—”
“She’s busy,” Eddie interjected quickly. 
“Eddie!” You warned with your brows raised, heat rising to your cheeks, what the fuck was he doing? 
“Can I just—steal you away for a minute?” Eddie turned to you with his jealous gaze, hand gently having a hold on your arm. 
“Oh, sure, man!” 
“No!” You and James exclaimed in unison. 
James stared at the two of you with his brows furrowed, both of you breathing heavily, an intense gaze connecting the two of you. With a sigh, you followed him out of the crowd, an apologetic smile thrown toward James. 
“What the hell are you doing?” 
You scoffed, “Me? What the hell are you doing, Eddie?” You snapped, naze garrowing. 
“I’m not locking lips with James that’s for sure!”
“Jesus Christ I was not locking lips with—” You halted abruptly, the absurdity of the sentence hitting you like a wave. Taking a moment to breathe, “What are you a child?”
“Well, if pointing out the obvious means I’m a child then so fucking be it!” The words tumbled out of his mouth harshly, almost lost in the din of the bar. 
“The obvious? Do I need to remind you that you were the one who kissed Chrissy?” You accused sharply, your anger returning and cutting through Eddie’s jealousy like a knife. 
“Look, I—I’m genuinely sorry for that, Pinky, I am. I should’ve never done that, it was a mistake—” His voice strained, getting lost amidst the background clamor, their set was about to start and Eddie could careless. 
He took a step closer, but you didn’t budge. “You don’t kiss someone as a mistake, Eddie! You don’t invite them to brunch as a fucking mistake!” You snapped, tone a poignant mix of bitterness, jealousy, and an equal amount of hurt. Teary yet ablaze gaze bored into Eddie's, breaking his heart more and more. 
His shoulders sagged under the weight of your words, the realization of the irreparable damage sinking in. 
He took a step closer, a desperate attempt to bridge the emotional gap.“Will you just listen to me?” Eddie's plea hung in the air, the room seemingly shrinking as you and Eddie’s gaze connected. Your breaths mingled, heavy with unspoken words that pulsed between you. 
Only inches apart, and you couldn’t help it when your gaze drooped down to his lips, then back to his mellow eyes.
“Eddie, this is the fifth fucking time they’ve been calling you.” Gareth’s irritating voice snapped the conversation, loud enough to have you almost jump back, as you threw Gareth a daggering gaze. 
“Just fucking wait for a second,” Eddie spat, trying to dismiss him, but the moment was gone. 
And Gareth wasn’t having it. “No way, dude we go on in like five minutes,” He scoffed, momentarily dragging Eddie by his arm.  
“Fine, fine!” Eddie scowled, shaking off the hold.  
“You should uh— go.” 
“Let me explain,” He almost begged, desperate. 
But with another dismissal, you left. 
Eddie wanted to drop everything and run to you, apologize, tell you what he felt, but somehow, some way he was always managing to fuck up the things between the two of you, now. 
It was like he was fourteen again, his dad letting him know that he always managed to fuck up something good, that he was destined to the Munson name. Like he could never manage to do something right.
Wayne, Jonathan, Corroded Coffin, and Nancy all changed that belief. 
But, you? Oh, god, you made him believe that he was good, you pulled him out of that darkness, you were the first one to believe in him, you were the one who encouraged him. You made him feel like he was on the right path, always. 
And you were the one who mattered, if he didn’t have you believing that now, what else did he have? 
With a hand on his shoulder, Jeff was dragging him back, he stared at your figure leaving, and with a sigh, he headed backstage. 
-
Aurora was the fifth song they sang, and it should’ve gotten to you, the way his gaze didn’t leave yours, how vulnerable he sounded, the way he barely even made eye contact with the guitar he was supposed to be focusing on, that should’ve gotten to you. 
But it didn’t. 
Your glossy gaze and your crossed arms, as everyone else around you cheered for him, did nothing but upset you more and more. 
Everything was so confusing that you couldn’t even make sense of yourself anymore. Yes, you were mad about everything with Chrissy, but you also knew he didn’t know everything that transpired between you and her. 
Chrissy and Billy should’ve been enough for him to not want anything to do with her, yet you still believed him when he told you it was a mistake, that he would’ve never done it if he knew. And the pool… the things he said in the car. Hours ago when you went to his trailer.
Sure, he was sorry, and he said he’d prove himself to you. 
But none of you ever out loud said anything, it had always been a cowardice dance around your feelings, and you were afraid that if this dance ended, then it would be all too real. It would all be over.
A heave of breath exited your lips, attempting to drown away the worries, but they were spiked up the second the song ended and Eddie spoke up again. 
“This next song is for my friends over there, Nancy and Jonathan,” He exclaimed with a grin, finger excitedly pointing towards the two of them, it was the first time his gaze had left yours, involuntarily your head turned to your right. 
“They’re getting married this weekend, and were kind enough to let me and my dipshit friends play,” He said with a sheepish grin, and Nancy and Jonathan shyly smiled at him, waving him off in a dismissive way, 
“So this is for the soon-to-be newlywed couple, and for the special girl next to them, who’s mad at me for a lot of reasons, and she has every right to be, I was a total ass.” He earned chuckles and some cheering from the crowd, who unintentionally all faced you. 
“I’m sorry, sweetheart, but hey, maybe this might help my case, huh?” He said with a grin, his gaze was dangerously addicting, full of promises, and you couldn’t help the way it made stupid butterflies appear in your stomach. 
It was so easy for him to get you like this, you were starting to feel pathetic. 
Speechless, and the heat quick to rise to your cheeks, you were trying to ignore the whispers and stares from the crowd, but it was basically impossible. 
The opening chords were enough to rattle your memory, the dreamy guitar riffs from Eddie sweeping in echoing the space as if it was just the two of you. 
You knew exactly which song he was playing. 
And the vocals, added with Eddie’s smooth, sultry voice were enough to have your heartbeat raising making you almost feel small, haziness overtaking your mind. 
And it only brought back one memory to your mind. 
FIVE YEARS AGO.
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA.
Another job interview, another opportunity you feel like you have missed.
It hadn’t been long since the two of you had arrived in Los Angeles, yet every passing minute felt like you had been wasting away your time, you needed a job, and no one in stupid LA was hiring you. 
A groan escaped your lips when you plopped yourself onto the couch, right next to Eddie who was way too into scribbling something into a notebook. 
Wait… was he using the…? 
“Is that… the notebook?” Your eyes lit up happily. It was such a small, stupid thing. 
But for you, it was important. That notebook was important. And you never actually thought he’d care about it, but it looked like he was carrying it in his back pocket. 
“Is that a crime?” Eddie sassed.
With a scoff, you narrowed your gaze. “No, doofus! I just didn’t think you’d actually use it.” 
Almost taken aback Eddie sat up straight on the couch, knees brushing against yours now. “Are you kidding? Half of this bad boy is filled with lyrics.”
“What is the other half made of?” You asked with a dangerous grin. 
“You’d have to kill me to find out.” Eddie enunciated dramatically, tone drooping lower to mimic mystery. 
“Oh, come on!” You huffed, curiosity getting the best of you. Scooting closer to him, you pouted. “Can’t you at least give me something?” You asked, all doe-eyed, tone sticky sweet, in a way that always got to Eddie. 
“Oh, sweetheart,” He groaned, almost melting into you, “You know I’ll give you anything if you ask that sweetly.”
You grinned happily, clapping your hands together in victory once he ripped up a page and handed it to you. 
“That is the chorus of a song I’m working on,” He mumbled, eyes nervously following you, waiting to read your reaction.
She's thunderstorms
Lying on her front, up against the wall
She's thunderstorms
Your eyes blinked quickly to process everything. It had been not too long since the both of you had come to L.A., Eddie was desperately trying to send the band’s best material to any label who was willing to sign them. 
And you had just gotten out of a horrible relationship, things had not been steady enough for the two of you to ever discuss anything about your feelings, always tip-toeing around it, but too scared to ever actually delve into it. 
Yet, you could tell this was about you, something about being described as thunderstorms stuck to your mind, maybe he somehow meant it as good. But all it reminded you of was destruction. And he wasn’t wrong. 
It was like everywhere you went, something horrible followed, exactly like a dark cloud looming over, waiting to strike anyone daring to be near you. 
Your hand flew to your mouth, teeth grazing through your nails anxiously. “Who’s this thunderstorm girl?” You asked, masking your nervousness with a brittle smile. 
He snatched the notebook back, ignoring your little huff. “Someone I went to school with,” He answered cooly and then leaned further into your face with a grin. “I was drivin’ around one day, then saw this girl’s car on the side of the road, to be nice I helped fix her car but then she became totally obsessed with me.” He recalled the first time he met you, animatedly.
“Oh, is that so?” 
“Yeah, didn’t leave me alone for years.”
With a narrowed gaze, “Asshole,” you bantered.
“That’s so weird,” He hummed with a smirk “That was her favorite nickname for me,” quipped Eddie and you stuck your tongue at him childishly. 
With a slight push on his elbow, he drew closer to you. “So… what did you think?” He coaxed nervously, you could tell it was important to him, yet being this close was making your mind spin. 
“I like it,” you muttered, unable to face his beautiful features when he was so close, and your mind spinning with the fact that Eddie thought of you as destructive, too.
“That’s it? You… just like it?”
“No that’s not it, it’s just—” With a sigh you snatched back the notebook from his hands. “It’s just… isn’t this bad?” 
“What?” His brows creased together in worry, “W-which one did you not like I can change it-” You shook your head, interrupting his anxious ramble.
“No! I love all of them! But describing… uh—this girl,” Tip-toeing around it, causing Eddie to smirk. “As thunderstorms? Isn’t that bad?” 
“No, not at all. It’s a metaphor.” He shook his head, explaining gently.
“She embodies the essence of thunderstorms—unpredictable and explosive. She has the power to create chaos and destruction, and on the surface that might sound bad, yet within that destruction she sparks a new life. You know, making it so much better,” He hummed, licking his lips.  
“And she also feels like a thunderstorm, intense and electrifying, shaking up your life, in the best way possible.”
“Oh. Wow,” You mumbled, gaze turning mellow with how well he explained everything, heart melting with how he saw you, not just from the surface, like he could peel the intricate layers of your existence, appreciating every part of it. 
“Uhh, then I love that actually,” you concluded with a smile, attempting to mask the fluttering in your stomach. Did he really see you in that way? 
Did he really see you as someone worth all of this? You tried to ignore the tears prickling in your eyes, begging to pour out, but you weren’t going to ruin this moment. 
You didn’t deserve him. In the slightest. He didn’t deserve to get caught up in your bullshit. You shouldn’t have dragged him here. You were being selfish, but, god, did it feel good. 
To finally feel safe, to finally have someone take care of you, to finally have someone you could rely on. After everything, didn’t you at least deserve to be a little selfish? 
But that feeling ate away at you, even though you shook it off for the moment, it was eventually going to return. And it did. 
“You do?” His brows raised in surprise, it made you want to fuck all and just grab his cheeks and kiss him, lips plush together until the two of you couldn’t breathe. 
But you couldn’t afford that, you couldn’t afford the feelings, nor could you afford the fallout. You couldn’t lose him. 
“Mhmm,” You answered with a broken smile, hoping he wouldn’t notice. He always did.  
“She sounds special.”
“She is,” Eddie agreed, eyeing you with a worried look. “Very, very special,” He repeated, he could tell something was off. 
But it was okay, because he was here for you now, and he wasn’t going to leave. 
NOW:
Suddenly the room felt suffocating. 
Eddie’s gaze on you felt mocking.
It was stupid, he had just dedicated the song to you, yet all your mind could focus on was everything bad that had happened. Ruining everything good that happened with him. 
How were you even going to be with him if you couldn’t even handle this?  
Fear, trust issues, being afraid of not knowing how things were going to go, if you would fuck this up too, then that was it for you. No one else could compare, and you knew that. 
Maybe if you just knew that the same went for Eddie, if you just could see that the five years you spent apart had been just as hell-ish for him if not more. The constant thoughts in his mind reminded him that he could never be over you, truly. Sure, it hurt less now, but the scar was still there, scabbing the second someone mentioned you. The realization of knowing no one could ever be you etched onto his skin. 
“Hey… you okay?” Steve’s concerned voice snapped you out of your thoughts, Eddie’s voice served as a background noise while his gaze was still stuck on you. 
“Y-yeah, I just—” You faltered, face growing numb and anxiety increasing when you suddenly needed some air. 
Too much, all of it was too much. 
Eddie could almost sense it, he grew worried at your frowny brows and your tear-streaked gaze. 
“I’ll be right back,” you mumbled, body jerking back scurrying out quickly when you ignored everyone calling out for your name. 
Eddie’s vocals almost halted, missing a few notes on the guitar before Gareth was quick to snap him back to it. 
His head cocked toward your direction, desperate, nearly begging to stop the show, but all of them shook their head quickly, and once Eddie turned back to see the look on Jonathan and Nancy’s face, he realized he couldn’t do this to them. 
This was his friends' wedding, and he owed this to them. When the song ended, he was quick to mouth to the others, “After the next song, we’re taking a break.” It wasn’t a request, it was final.
And frankly, the rest of them were too tired out to even argue with a hot-headed Eddie.
“So how is your plan working, dingus?” Robin jeered at Steve.
“Shut up.”
There were a couple more people outside, all leaning against the wall, chuckling while talking over each other loudly, the smoke of their lit cigarettes quick to take over your senses. 
With a cough, you leaned further away from them, mind still unraveling what had just happened. You didn’t even know what was happening anymore. 
You wanted to smoke, hand itched to reach for the pocket of your jacket and light one to take away your stress, but you could barely breathe as it was right now. 
A light tap on your shoulder snapped you away from your thoughts. 
Who was it now? 
You huffed loudly when your head cocked back.
Fucking great. 
Chrissy.
“Oh, Jesus Christ!” You pinched the bridge of your nose in annoyance, this just had to be your luck, your feet picked up quickly, hand quick to reach for the door and go back inside.
“Please, please don’t leave,” She pleaded.
Your hold on the door remained, barely glancing back at her, “Just leave me alone!” You snapped. 
“I just want to apologize, please, then I’ll leave you alone, forever.”
“Please, just five minutes.”
You shouldn’t, you really shouldn’t. 
Your hold on the door faltered, and with a deep sigh, you turned to her. “Fine.”
“Five minutes,” You warned, your patience already wearing thin.  
Her face lit up, blinking a few times to make sure she heard you correctly. “O-oh, okay, good,” She cleared her throat.
“First of all, I’m sorry, for everything, for what I said five years ago, for what I did with Billy, for using what he did to you like a fucking joke. For w-what I said about your parents.” She stammered.
“It’s too late, I know, I fucked up, I shouldn’t have done any of those things, you didn’t deserve it. You deserved a better friend, someone like you.” She almost looked at you like she was waiting for your approval, gauging your reaction, your expressionless face encouraged her to continue. 
“I was bitter, jealous. Which isn’t a fucking excuse, I know, I was just—” she took a deep breath. “You were everything I wanted to be, careless, had all the boys' attention, and you didn’t even have to try, you didn’t have to do anything, and they’d just fall at your feet. And I was stupid, bitter, and insecure enough to envy that.”
“That’s not my problem, Chrissy.” You spat out with your gaze narrowing, you couldn’t handle her pity party right now.
“And really, you wanted to be me? Chrissy I didn’t have parents, my boyfriend was a narcissistic asshole.I was broke.” You scoffed with an ironic chuckle, shaking your head in anger.
“I know, I know. It was stupid, and I was stupid, and you didn’t deserve any of that.” Sincerity. Something you haven’t seen from her in years.
“I just wanted to tell you that none of it was your fault.” Now your gaze narrowed, a chuckle rolling on your lips. 
You opened your mouth to speak, to protest. “No, I know you’re going to say you didn’t think that but I know you do. Even though you hate me, which I don’t blame you, I know you like the back of my hand, you blame yourself, you always did it. And I’m telling you shouldn’t because it was all my fault. A-and I shouldn’t have done whatever I did with Eddie, I practically took advantage of him like he did to me and then got mad at him, oh god, I’m such a fucking bitch, aren’t I?”
Your eyes blinked quickly to process all of it. Her apology didn’t mean anything, her words didn’t mean anything. But deep down, you knew she was right, even if you wouldn’t admit it. Because you spent many nights blaming yourself, for even opening up to them in the first place. 
“First of all, breathe,” you mumbled with annoyance.  
“Second of all, yes you are,” you huffed. 
“And, taking advantage? What do you mean?” 
“Some fucked up part of me wanted him because I knew you wanted him back then, a-and he was right there and he was being nice to me and—” Chrissy took a deep sigh, big blue eyes staring into you knowing that you were not going to like what she was going to say.
“I should’ve known.”
With puckered brows, you crossed your arms against your chest. “Known what?” 
“That he was still hung up on you,” she muttered.
You were quick to roll your eyes, “Chrissy—”
“No, no just listen.” But she wasn’t going to let you spiral.
“Look you were dumb enough then—” You threw her a glare, so daggeringly cold that she stopped.  
“Sorry,” she muttered before continuing, “Look, the two of you wasted a lot of time. And I know it’s funny hearing this from me because I took part in it, but I’m only saying this because he’s a nice guy, even though I don’t particularly like him right now, he’s a nice guy, and you deserve someone like him.” She enunciated, azure hues embodying such sympathy that had you taken aback.
“You loved him back then, too. I could see it, and I could see it in him, too. That’s what I always wanted, and maybe that’s why he intrigued me so much. But I knew he never got over you.” 
You could feel your heart skip a beat, it wasn’t anything new, but hearing this from her, it meant something. 
You needed to take control of your feelings, and hearing Chrissy’s words was doing nothing but fuel them more. “Chrissy stop—”
“No, Pinky! He told me! He told me it was you! It had always been you!” She exclaimed, her face growing a nice pink color as you stood frozen.
Your brain felt mushy, rest of your body felt so warm, but still that anger lingered. Why couldn’t he just tell you this? Why couldn’t he just show you?
“What?” You mumbled, brows pinched together.
“Yes!” She exclaimed, sighing at your reaction.
“Look, I just wanted to tell you this, and tell you to get your head out of your ass. I know I’m the last person you wanted to hear this from, but I had to at least make one thing right for you because I know I fucked up every other thing.”
You wanted to tell her to stay the fuck out of it, you wanted to tell her it was all because of her. That she basically ruined your life. But it wasn’t true. It wasn’t all her, it was Billy, too. It wasn’t all her, Eddie played a part in it, too. 
But you weren’t going to waste your breath, you didn’t need to blow up in her face for her to know she was wrong, she needed to let that feeling sink in. You weren’t going to forgive her, and you didn’t need to make a fuss about it to feel real. 
This was it. A closure. 
“I’m sorry, for everything. And I know that you won’t forgive me, but that’s okay. I’m sorry, but please listen to what I just said. Please don’t get in your head and try to ruin something this perfect, okay?”
A peaceful smile appeared on your lips, and you took a deep breath. “You’re right, I won’t forgive you.” You weren’t going to give her any satisfaction or approval, her words didn’t mean a thing. 
“Goodbye, Chrissy.” You mumbled. 
You could see her stammering, struggling to open her mouth, because she couldn’t say anything else, and this is what she promised, five minutes. It was over. 
You backed yourself against the wall, fingers fishing out the pack of cigarettes sitting in the pocket of your jacket. 
Without having anything else left to say, she left. And you heaved a sigh of breath, the tip of your cigarette smoldering when you lit it. 
You inhaled with eyes squeezed shut, head swirling with much to think about. But at least you were alone. Finally, some space for you to think, and to lay out a little bit of your stress with the most unhealthy outlet.  
And of course, that peace lasted for about a few minutes, just when you had finished your cigarette, squishing the remains on the nearest trashcan, Eddie appeared, lightly squeezing your arm to have your attention.
“What?” You snapped when you saw him, eyeing the way he looked taken aback. 
His hands held up in front of his chest in defeat, clearly not understanding your sudden rage. The laughter around you had died, people who were smoking outside the bar were clearly more entertained by your drama. 
With a huff, you dragged Eddie away from it all, still close to the bar but far away to not have any other distractions. 
He sighed, brows etched with worry. “Why did you leave?”
Your hand flew to your forehead, trying to calm your nerves, trying to clear your mind. “Eddie, are you kidding me?” You scoffed, arms wrapped across your chest defensively. “You can’t just drag me away from James, dedicate songs to me and—”
His forehead puckered. “Why not? They’re all about you anyway,” he said with a sly smirk. 
“Aurora, She’s Thunderstorms, Zero, Forget Her, Resolve, Fool, two fucking albums, all dedicated to you, you know that.”
“These notes? These stupid notes I’ve been carrying?” He huffed loudly, hand quick to fish inside of his back pocket, aggressively flipping through the pages. “Even if every nerve in my body were numb I’d still be able to feel her.” He turned the page toward you before flipping again. 
“I have tried to forget you but I can’t, you invade my dreams, my mind, my whole fucking life. You’re stuck in me and I don’t have the heart to get you out.” He shook his head, reciting it all like it was nothing, but you felt all of it. 
His notes making you dizzy. His words scrambling your mind like never before. 
“She’s the tear that hangs inside my soul forever. That one is uh—in a song, too,” he mumbled, cheeks flushing with how passionate he was getting, and you held your breath, it’s like you were staring into his soul. 
Stark naked. Laying bare, he really was doing this. And you didn’t want him to stop, even though your mouth suggested otherwise. 
“And so much more embarrassing stuff that I don’t want to include to not ruin my chances,” he muttered with a lazy smile, and you hated that you could feel it in your skin, the flutters, stomach flipping in the best possible way. 
“All fucking about you. Because it was you, from the moment we met.”
“S—stop,” your mouth betrayed you, it was the furthest thing from the truth, and you needed to hear more. You needed the reassurance, you needed him to convince you. More than anything in the world. 
But it was all so scary, and he was so close to you that you could feel his passion integrated into your veins. 
“Why, Pinky, why should I stop? Why do we have to tip-toe around each other, huh?” He was desperate, eyes flashing with a newfound of desire for you, he wasn’t going to let it go this time.
And it scared you, him being this determined, getting so close to what you actually felt was making your skin crawl, because the way you could feel your heart thumping against your ribcage wasn’t normal. What he was making you feel wasn’t normal. “Because w—we can’t!”
“We can’t what?” He complained, a deep sigh escaping his lips. 
“W—we can’t do this, you can’t—”
He shook his head with his brows puckered. “Who are you to decide that? I want to, I so badly want to,” He spat, taking a step closer to you, face merely inches away from you. 
His gaze was dangerously inviting, those alluring amber eyes melted into yours, making your pupils dilate, breath hitching as you struggled to keep him away. “Please, Eddie, d—don’t.”
You gulped, hand raising to put a space between the two of you, but it was impossible. He was in your veins now. “Too much has happened, you with Chrissy and—” You didn’t even know what you were blabbering about, just anything to stop your feelings from getting out. 
“Chrissy was a mistake!” He retorted with a hiss. He hated that you saw Chrissy as a problem between the two of you. Yes, he fucked up, but it really was a mistake, he’d take it all back in a heartbeat if he could. 
Your gaze narrowed, that pettiness returned when you scoffed. “Which time, when you kissed her or when you brought her to brunch?”
Eddie let out a bitter chuckle, shaking his head when he looked at you with a dumbfounded look. “Jesus fucking Christ…” He took a breather. “I can’t believe you’re doing that again,” he mumbled, realizing that it wasn’t going to be easy to get you out of this mindset. 
It was going to be hard, to convince you of anything, and he understood that, he had trust issues himself, but he wasn’t going to back down. This was it.
You crossed your arms against your chest, gaze avoiding him momentarily. “Doing what?” You muttered.
“You just— you get scared when things get serious, running away when it gets just even a little bit too real,” He scoffed, angling closer to you, fingers ruffling through his curls in frustration.
“Excuse me?”
“Yeah! You call me a coward and fucking look at you!” He snapped, hands gesturingly pointing to you.
“Scrambling just at the thought of us being together.” He argued, some part of him feeling a bit insecure, that maybe you didn’t want this. But, no, he saw that glint in your eyes, he knew the little angry twitch on your lips. You felt the same. And all you needed was a little push. 
You breathed, mind scrambled and trying so hard to convince yourself to leave. “T—that’s not it, you—uh you just don’t get it!” You complained with a huff. 
Another step closer. One more step and his lips would be on yours, Eddie knew this, you knew this. His gaze momentarily drooped down to your lips, then back to your dilated pupils. 
“Then make me understand, let me help you, don’t fucking run, not this time.” It was a little jab, but something needed to get you to spill, he was playing all the right cards and you were getting overwhelmed.
“J—just stop!”
“Why? Fucking why? Tell me one good fucking reason as to why we shouldn’t try it, we never even gave it a chance!” He ranted, veins in his forehead popping with how much he was trying to keep it all together. And you weren’t even trying. 
“We wouldn’t work, okay?” 
He shook his head. “Not good enough,” He argued. 
“W—we’re on two different paths now, Eddie.” You didn’t have any good excuses, he was right. 
“Not good enough.” Once again, that same arguing tone. 
You huffed. “Too much time passed and—”
“Not fucking good enough!” He cursed, hands landing on your shoulder to keep you in place, and your cheeks flushed immediately, while still trying to deny it. You were pathetic.
“Stop being a fucking coward!” He seethed, eyes fiery and red. 
Why were you insisting on being so fucking stubborn? You were driving him crazy, yet it wasn’t going to stop him. 
Coward is what had you scrambling. Because you knew he was right. “Fuck you,” You spat, body jerking quickly to leave, feet picking up quickly as Eddie groaned loudly.
So. Fucking. Stubborn. 
He was quick on his feet, letting curses slip past his lips before he yanked you to him, earning a small gasp from your lips before you finally faced him. 
Gaze mellow, but just as fiery, your furrowed brows and dilated pupils only encouraging him more and more. Flutters in your stomach had never left, your skin was burning, everywhere, but specifically on the hold he had on you. 
You didn’t manage to utter anything else, you couldn’t because he had you this time. There was no running away from it, your heart was hammering so hard inside of your chest that you were sure he could hear it. 
His hold on your arm was firm but somehow gentle, letting you know that he wasn’t going to let you go.
You opened your mouth, wanting to speak, but he interrupted, his hands now firmly cupping your cheeks, squishing you with force, and you couldn’t help the contended sigh that left your parted lips. “I’m not letting you run away, not this time,” He mumbled, words sounding like silk falling from his lips, all you could do was gaze into him. He stood inches away from you, breath fanning against your face.
He licked his lips desperately, gaze drooping to your candy-glossed, needy lips. Face so close that you could feel the desperation radiating off of him. And you shared it. You managed to take a quick breath before his hand fisted your hair and his mouth crashed down to yours.
He pressed you harder against his chest, breathless, your lips molded together, a perfect fit. And he could taste the Cosmopolitan on your tongue, a tinge of alcohol mixed with your sweetness, making his head spin, a taste he realized he’d never have enough of. 
Those little thumps your heart did were now out of control, possibly pounding a million beats a second. His small stubble scratched against your chin, rough, it should’ve made you uncomfortable yet all it did was make you kiss him harder, shutting up your brain as your mouth replied to him, kissing him back with just as much force, you melted into him, melted into his hold, and you let him engulf you, fully, completely. 
Plushy lips slightly parted apart, his tongue slipped past between your teeth, your hand finding its way to his hair, feeling the curly strands between your fingers, it’s softer than you expected and your lips parted to let out a slight whine as you tugged at them.
All those years of wishing, all those years of wanting, yearning, and needing exploded into this. Kissing like your lives depended on it, chests pressed against each other, Eddie’s hand slipping to your waist, desperately tugging you closer to him as if that was even possible. 
Your heart exploded into your chest, his tongue not wavering the chance to explore yours, sucking on it, greedily, desperately. 
The background noises disappeared, the cackles of the girls, the booming music coming from inside of the bar, and the honks from the busy street. They ceased to exist and it was just you and him. Feeling each other, completely, fully. 
You knew at some point one of you had to pull away, but none of you dared to, it was just pure desire, a hunger that couldn’t be sated. 
All the years spent yearning and pining, acting like two fucking idiots. 
He wanted to breathe you, drink you in, and he wasn’t intent on letting you go. Ever.
You from five minutes ago who wanted to refuse him, refuse this was an absolute fucking idiot. Gone. You tasted like the sweetest honey and he tasted like everything you wanted and more. It’s even needier than the first kiss, more sure, it’s like a promise. 
This is it. Both of you can feel it. This finally changes everything. 
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final authors note — uhhhh so yeah... if yall wanna talk about that my asks r open LMAO.
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mysterycitrus · 5 months
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can i get a dickie...
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now ur speaking MY language
Headcanon A:  realistic
dick loves kids. he loves lian, and cerdian, and irey and jai and wade, and chris and damian. he loves the younger titans and young justice. he tries to never show it, but when they turn to him first, instead of clark or bruce or diana or j'onn, it makes him feel giddy, like he's about to soar up into the stratosphere.
Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious
dick loves lying, we know this. however he favourite activity is lying about his early days of robin, when bruce was struggling to acclimate to parenting and the world was just a little more absurd. tim tries to one up him by talking about that time santa got nuked by a sentient meteor. that's cute, dick replies, but you weren't around when bruce had to synthesise a literal cure for ugly.
is he lying? is he telling the truth? they'll never know - he's already paid off alfred, and bruce just grunts.
Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends
once he told roy that he couldn't make love with someone he didn't love, and that's true. but after - after, he sleeps around for the first time in his life. he knows what he looks like, he knows his own body, so it's easy. he always asks, and they always say yes. it's his choice. he's choosing this. it makes him want to rake his skin off, scream, lie down and never move again, but this is him taking back control. and if he leaves before they wake, if he cant meet his own eyes in the mirror, no one else is any wiser.
Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own.
it makes him feel terrible, selfish, and wicked - but deep down, it feels good that bruce has been trying to replace him as robin since he was fired. it feels even worse after jason dies, when that heavy weight settles on his shoulders and never quite leaves. you see! he wants to shout at bruce, you tried to get rid of me, and you've spent the rest of your life trying to get me back!
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