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makeste · 3 years

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BnHA Chapter 316: We've Had One, Yes, But What About Second Explosion

Previously on BnHA: Deku was all “[powers up like whoa because it’s time to end the fight]”, and he saved Overhaul from getting not-shot, and then smashed up Nagant’s arm with the power of his new rechargeable super knees. Nagant was all “yoooo this kid is crazy strong whaaaat, it’s like he’s some kind of protagonist or something.” Deku was all “I AM A PROTAGONIST, ACTUALLY, DO YOU WANT TO JOIN FORCES AND FIGHT BAD GUYS WITH ME?” Nagant was all “ah shit why the hell no -- ” and then AFO was all “SURPRISE” and everyone was all “?!?!?!” and AFO was all “TIME TO EXPLODE NOW” and made Nagant explode because he’s an absolute fucking dick. And then Hawks showed up, because Horikoshi just wanted to stuff as many plot points as humanly possible into a single chapter I guess.

Today on BnHA: Hawks is all “good job giving motivational shounen redemption speeches Deku but I’ll take it from here” and screams very earnestly right in Nagant’s face until she finally wakes up. Nagant is all “oh hey it’s my successor, you seem surprisingly unfucked-up from your own HPSC tenure, how did you manage that?” Hawks is all “fandom is going to love hearing this one, but basically it’s because I’m very upbeat and also I had the world’s best role model Endeavor to look up to,” and I swear this man stirs the pot on purpose, but damn it I still love him so damn much. Overhaul is all “HELLO AGAIN, JUST A REMINDER THAT, THE BOSS!!” and Deku is all “MAYBE TAKE TWO SECONDS TO REFLECT ON HOW YOU TORTURED A LITTLE GIRL,” which, thank you, lol. Nagant is all “btw AFO’s hiding in a house in the woods”, and so Deku and the gang go to the house in the woods. Video recording!AFO is all “hi I’m AFO welcome to Jackass” and blows up the house. Sometimes I wonder if this manga is just a weird dream.

I am once again reading the Bean version because I think it was actually the best out of all three translations last week. and that is surprisingly including Viz’s. “faux” is not nearly as entertaining as “knockoff”, and also I have literally no idea why Caleb thought Deku was saying the Third’s lines lol

oh hey, Endeavor’s here too! not that you’d ever be able to tell from this first panel lmao

glad you received All Might’s call, mysterious unidentified glowing smudge

oh snap he says he’s weaker in the rain. is that why AFO told Nagant to attack then?? except that as we discussed the other day, I believe that AFO fully intended for Nagant to lose the fight, so him giving her info that would give her an advantage doesn’t really fit in with that. maybe he wanted Deku to be separated from Endeavor and the rest for maximum angst, though

btw Deku’s eyes are unsurprisingly back to the new normal here

alas, the angst continues. I say, pretending like I’m not totally eating it up each and every week and writing essay after essay about it lol

anyway so apparently Hawks can’t actually fly lmao. he was just yeeting himself with style

for some reason this is the funniest fucking thing I’ve ever seen omfg. wave to Hawks, kids! say “bye, Hawks!”

j/k of course Deku is catching them. -- except???

wow so he was just running on fumes there at the end. well, good to know there is actually a limit to his shenanigans, particularly regarding this new “knockoff” 100% OFA. it will definitely not alleviate any of the discourse, but it’s good for my own peace of mind because it’s solid confirmation that he still needs his pals in order to win this thing

anyway, but on to the rest of this conversation, which is basically Deku deducing what we all deduced last week -- AFO implanted some sort of trap into Nagant when he gave her Air Walk. though I’d still like to get the actual details from AFO and/or Horikoshi, because this was particularly wild even by quirk standards lol

omgggggg

she still has a face after all!! so it’s confirmed, Horikoshi has no idea what “blowing up” actually means. we might have guessed, based on what happened to Toga in the MVA arc, and also based on everything Katsuki does ever, but shhh

so now Hawks is all “NAGANT PLEASE WAKE UP, IF I SHOUT MY NAME AT YOU WILL THAT DO THE TRICK”

this is actually kind of touching though because even though we all know (or most of us acknowledge at any rate) that Hawks is a pretty caring person, it’s rare to see him actually panic over someone’s welfare like this

oh shit Horikoshi is really doubling down on it

I wonder how much Hawks knew about what really happened between Nagant and the HPSC. regardless, he probably sees her as a kindred spirit of sorts, and I’m more than happy for Deku to pass the redemption torch onto him now that he’s on the scene. like no offense Deku but they actually know each other and stuff lol

DAMMIT NAGANT CAN’T YOU SEE HOW LOUD HE IS YELLING

apparently being freed from his HPSC shackles has finally given Hawks the space to embrace his own inner shounen protagonist. is there anything more shounen than trying to motivationally scream someone awake when they’re lying in your arms inches from death?? 100% guaranteed to work

!!! IS THIS NAGANT’S POV OMG

SO SHE IS ALIVE. THANK GOD. Horikoshi doesn’t want to meet with my emotional distress lawyer today after all

love how she’s all “just gonna stir up the weekly Hawks Discourse pot here by implying that he probably committed a lot of Atrocities just like I did, so now people can get all hopped up about that, even though there’s no evidence he’s ever killed anyone aside from that one horrible ‘damned-if-you-do...’ situation with Twice.” no one asked for your provocative speculation young lady!! trust me Nagant, our rabbles don’t need the rousing lol

but nice save there with the “so how are your eyes so untainted” well you see it’s because even when he was following the HPSC’s orders he always went to great lengths never to go against his own moral compass. which just to be clear was incredibly difficult, and led to a ton of pain and suffering on his part, because the life of a spy is basically just one impossible situation after another. but in spite of that he never stopped trying to do his best to help people. I don’t really know where this tangent came from or is leading to, lol, but anyway p.s.a. I love Hawks a lot and he’s a good kid dammit

oh shit??!?

how is the League always able to swing all these fancy forest mansions. where do they find them. how many do they have

so Deku’s dropping them -- very roughly, not sure if he was reacting to finally getting AFO’s location, or if his energy really is giving out -- and now Nagant’s saying that AFO hired other villains as well. well of course he did. gotta keep chipping away at OFA’s ninth successor little by little

now Nagant is asking Hawks how he’s able to keep making “that” face. I assume she’s again talking about the fact that he somehow didn’t let the HPSC wear down his spirit

oh my god???

thanks for stuffing this chapter to the brim with good nutritional Hawks Feels, Horikoshi. what a good. he just keeps on trudging forward undeterred no matter what bullshit comes his way. what a steadfast little guy. I WILL PROTECT YOU FROM DISCOURSE MY SWEET SUNSHINE

lmaoooo

“SPOTTED THIS DUDE JUST CHILLING OUT THERE ON THE ROOF WITH NO ARMS, SEEMED PRETTY SUS” good job Endeavor

anyway so you don’t really need me to tell you that Overhaul is immediately starting in with the “BUT THE BOSS WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO TAKE ME TO THE BOSS YOU PROMISED YOU WOULD TAKE ME TO THE BOSS” stuff again. but I will go ahead and tell you anyway. so yeah. he’s doing that

OMG YOU GUYS LOOK AT DEKU’S “of all the fucking assholes to just randomly drop in on my life once again why did it have to be you” FACE THOUGH, OMG

fun fact, if you go back to chapters 124 through 160, there was an entire story arc where Overhaul imprisoned and tortured a little girl. yeah, I know!! suuuuuuuuper evil. anyways just an interesting little anecdote for you all that’s somewhat relevant to the current situation

OMG, YES. FUCK YES, DEKU

THEN WHAT ABOUT SPARING ONE FOR HER!!! YES!!! EXACTLY!!! JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, SOMEONE GETS IT

HERE’S THE PANEL OF DEKU SAYING THE EXACT SAME THING I’M SAYING LOL

(ETA: so apparently there’s some discourse about this because some people are interpreting this as Deku saying “you should apologize to Eri”, which would obviously be a terrible idea even if Overhaul actually wanted to do that, because Eri shouldn’t ever have to see him again. however I just want to point out that there is a HUGE difference between saying “it would be nice if you could direct that feeling of regret/being sorry towards Eri as well”, vs saying “you should also apologize to her.” all Deku is doing is rightfully pointing out that Overhaul has hurt way more people than just his boss, and if he really is remorseful, then he should extend those feelings of remorse to Eri and the rest as well. it’s not a directive to take any specific action, and I’m 1000% sure no one at U.A. would let Overhaul within 100 miles of Eri ever again.

tl;dr “try feeling remorse sometime” =/= “do you want me to fly you over to U.A. right now to surprise the little girl you traumatized”, lol.)

[slings an arm around Deku’s shoulders] you’re a good kid. I like you. I don’t know if I tell you that enough, but it’s true

meanwhile here is Overhaul’s “spare... a thought... for Eri...???????” face sigh

the struggle is real y’all

(ETA: and that’s... the last we ever saw of Overhaul, I guess? well all right then. I assume Deku will make good on his promise, so we know he’ll get that little bit of closure before going back to jail or whatever, and I confess I’m more than fine with leaving the rest of it open-ended, especially given his character’s history. I think this was pretty generous all things considered.)

lmao holy shit

All Might what did you do to those tiki torch guys?? did you thrash them. did you give ‘em those hands. did you deliver their own asses to them complete with a sticker reminding them Amazon Prime Day is on June 21. we missed out goddammit

so Endeavor, who wasn’t the one he was asking, is telling him that they captured (well let’s be real, Deku captured, give the credit where it’s due) Nagant and Overhaul. and so I guess they’re going to take Nagant to the ER now

fire is no one’s weakness

-- oh my GOD I scrolled down and audibly gasped

[is politely but firmly approached and asked to remove my arm from Deku’s shoulder by the physical manifestation of all this Dekuangst] “we’re sorry, he’s not allowed to have visitors right now” oh shit, my bad. [goes to stand behind a police barricade]

lmao what. did you run out of room on the previous page

what an exaggerated fade to black lmao

-- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I actually can’t see what he’s reacting to so maybe I’m just seriously jumping the gun here lol, but THE HELL WITH IT. the next panel appears to be a cut to Haibori Forest, so I’m just gonna go ahead and declare that Deku ran off on his own all wounded to go have more Dekuangst, just like I manifested. now go call Katsuki goddammit

[scrolls three more inches down] oh

yeah so like I said, Deku is walking very slowly a few feet in front of Endeavor, who’s telling him to wait up. yep. we’ve all gotta be so careful to not just jump to conclusions. I know we’re excited but still

anyway, so! welcome back to Mt. Lady and Kamui Woods (ARE YOU GUYS DATING) and Edgeshot! have fun walking into this obvious trap lol

dammit Deku why are you so determined to tempt fate

[monkey puppet meme faces]

OH MY GOD THIS IS PURE GRADE-A CHEESY COMIC BOOK VILLAIN 101 SHIT AND I’M HERE FOR IT

that’s such a weird way of clapping who claps like that

unlike certain other people who shan’t be named, AFO doesn’t feel the need to inexplicably take his shirt off when recording sinister villain monologues. I think we’re all pretty grateful for that

high fives to everyone who called it!! yep yep

anyway so this whole scene has major booby-trap vibes, which I’m enjoying immensely even though I don’t think anything is really going to come of it lol. probably just another long-winded AFO Speech. but wouldn’t it be funny if like the ceiling started lowering down to try and squish Deku afterwards lol

(ETA: well the explosion was still pretty funny too ngl.)

ffff

[“Dekuangst is the trap” intensifies]

anyway so yeah. he’s just hitting up all of his usual villain talking points. we get it, you’re so smart and you see right through the thin veneers of society and people who don’t conform are left to fend for themselves and labeled as villains and history is written by the victors, and blah blah blah dude are you just jumping randomly from one soundbyte to another lol. literally what are you talking about. what does this have to do with you blowing up Nagant

-- holy shit??

[”Dekuangst is the trap” intensifies MORE?????]

LOL WHAT

BRO. WHAT IS WITH YOU. DON’T YOU KNOW HOW TO LAY ANY OTHER KIND OF FUCKING TRAP GOOD LORD

“YOU’RE NEXT” THE CALLBACK?? THE PARALLELS?? THOUGH WHEN ALL MIGHT POINTED HE MADE IT LOOK WAY COOLER. AFO’S POINTING JUST LOOKS LIKE SMOKEY THE BEAR

HAS ANYONE CHECKED IN ON KAMUI WOODS I HEAR HE IS WEAK TO FIRE?? THE ONLY ONE WHO IS, APPARENTLY

r.i.p. to this particular forest mansion. don’t worry they have a ton of backups

remember last week when I said maybe AFO thinks explosions are gauche. well never mind. he fucking loves explosions

anyway so that’s the end of BnHA, everyone. hope you enjoyed. it was a good ride while it lasted. see you all, good luck in your travels

#bnha 316 #hawks #takami keigo #lady nagant #midoriya izuku #all for one #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha #manifesting 317 opening with a slightly modified version of my previous fantasy scenario lmao #'WHADDYA MEAN THEY BLEW UP THE NERD'#that's *his* job #sorry lol I kid I kid

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effei-s · 3 years

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your fave is a rapist, deal with it (part 1).

I wanted to talk about the way mafi handles sensitive topics (sexual assault and violence against women in general) for a very long time. But I had some doubts about it. Do I really need to do this? Is this even be useful or would I just waste my time shouting into the void? Because I tried to start this conversation on twitter about a year ago and… it didn’t go well. So I decided to focus on something more positive, like shitposting and writing fanfiction and creating headcanons and blah-blah-blah. But today all hell broke lose and I saw 20 threads on twitter explaining how sexual assault was actually juliette’s fault. Treads and tweets that were getting 500+ likes each and god knows how many comments under them agreeing with this line of thinking.

And as a cherry on top: the girl who tweeted the original tweet (when she apparently said that it was a sexual assault) got bullied by the fandom so bad, she needed to go private.

So let’s reread THAT scene in shatter me, and parts of destroy me and unravel me that touch this topic, to see who’s right. Maybe this girl was actually wrong and maybe she just misjudged the whole situation and she deserved to be bullied for spreading this awful misinformation about our king AARON aka the man who invented feminism itself WARNER (minor spoilers: she wasn’t and she didn’t).

We need a little bit of context here. The books are old. They were written in 2011. It was the golden time of Gossip girl and Vampire diaries. Chuck Bass and Damon Salvatore were walking around assaulting women left and right and everyone loved them (off the topic, but i’m 99% sure that Chuck was a blueprint for Warner, there’s way too many similarities between them). In 2011 it was NORMAL and even considered sexy (trust me, I was one of those people, those were dark times). So it’s not surprising that there is a sexual assault scene in book, it’s surprising that in 2021, when everyone is a feminist, after the metoo movement, when there’s so much info about all kinds of abuse and red flags and there are stories of survivors, we still blame women for bad thing that happened to them.

There’s gonna be quotes (a shittone of quotes) because that’s who I am, and because you can’t really argue with the source material???? Everything is there, on the surface. All you have to do is READ.

To give you a type of discourse around this:

(it’s a google translate but it’ll do, and i’m not gonna show any un, because that’s what stupid bitches, who bully other people because of the book character, do)

The main point, the main argument, is that Warner has a super power and he feels EVERYTHING JULIETTE FEELS! So he would never hurt her.

Let’s see what she feels:

(btw, it’s chapter 39, shatter me)

Warner drops his hand. His glassy green eyes are so delighted I’m petrified.

Warner backs me into a corner and I realize I’ve never been so defenseless in my life. Never so vulnerable.

“We can really be together,” he says to me, undeterred by my silence. He pulls me close, too close. I’m frozen in five hundred layers of fear. Stunned in grief, in disbelief.

My brain is on fire, ready to explode from the impossibility of this moment. I feel like I’m watching it happen, detached from my own body, incapable of intervening.

Yes, she definitely want to have sex with him! She’s incredibly aroused by him.

“I want you to choose me,” he says. “I want you to choose to be with me. I want you to want this—”

Oh, look, he KNOWS she doesn’t want him. And he doesn’t give a flying fuck about it.

“You’re only afraid of what you’re capable of. Admit it. We’re perfect for each other. You want the power. You love the feel of a weapon in your hand. You’re . . . attracted to me.”

Do I even need to comment this shit?

JULIETTE TELLS HIM NO. WARNER STILL DOESN’T GIVE A FUCK.

So she tries to communicate non-verbal:

I try to swing my fist but he catches my arms. Pins them to my sides. Presses me up against the wall.

Because that what you do when someone want to have sex with you. You force them to stay.

“Don’t lie to yourself, Juliette. You’re going to come back with me whether you like it or not.”

HE DOESN’T GIVE A FLYING FUCK ABOUT HER CONSENT, exhibit number 3.

“But you can choose to want it. You can choose to enjoy it—”

I really don’t know what can scream RAPIST louder than this. You can choose…

Like… he knows. He. Knows.

“I will never,” I breathe, broken. “You’re sick—you’re a sick, twisted monster—”

“That’s not the right answer,” he says, and seems genuinely disappointed.

(I have to confess, I haven’t read this book in a long time, I forget how awful this scene really was. how the fuck someone can see consent HERE???? you need to check your eyes, people. And maybe buy yourself a new brain with working “critical thinking” function)

His nose brushes the nape of my neck and I stifle a horrified shiver that he misunderstands. His lips touch my skin and I actually whimper.

I feel a thrill of hope. A thrill of horror. Brace myself for what I need to do.

SHE DEFINITELY WANTS TO HAVE SEX! CAN’T YOU SEE IT?

I swallow the vomit threatening to give me away.

“I’ll be good to you,” he whispers. “I’ll be so good to you, Juliette. I promise.”

Ew, gross.He’s fucking creppy.

I’m so stunned, so horrified, so cocooned in insanity I forget myself. I stand there frozen, disgusted. My hands slip from his chest. I nearly shove him off of me. But Warner will not be discouraged.

Warner. Feels. Everything. She. Feels.

So there’s three options:

he’s a rapist who doesn’t give a fuck about her consent:

he’s a stupid rapist who thinks that wanting to vomit and being ashamed and terrified is part of a foreplay;

he’s never being with the woman before, so he can’t recognize VERY OBVIOUS signs that she doesn’t want to have sex due to his inexperience, and it still makes him a rapist.

No matter how you put it, the result is always the same: this scene is an attempted rape, and if you say that Juliette is at fault because she had to pretend to like it, you’re a rapist apologist.

(I covered destroy me and unravel me in part two and three because it’s getting way too long)

#tw:sexual assault #shatter me series #eff rants #anti aaron warner #juliette ferrars #deserved better than this #bullying people is not ok #fandom shenanigans #shatter me

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cherrytdatt · 4 years

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Sadness Ritual pt. 3

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Word count: ~3.6k

Summary: Will Harrison's engagement party solve things between Y/N and Tom?

Warnings: N-O-T-H-I-N-G!

A/N: PART 3 IS HERE!!! after struggling a lot I finally did it. Part of this was inspired by the engagement scene in 'set it up' also know as my favorite rom-com ever so think about that vibe! I hope you guys like it. I really liked.

Playlist: No playlist...I heard so many things...It was a rollercoaster!

Part 1 | Part 2

Three months ago, at 3 am, Tom stood in your kitchen and said the words you wished for months to hear from him. And yet, you felt your entire chest hurt, and you couldn't look at him. You sent him home, and since then, you didn't see him again. But now, the inevitable was coming. Anna and Harrison's engagement party is in one day. You're the maid of honor, and Tom is the best man. Anna asked you if you would be okay seeing him again and, to be honest, you don't know, but it’s her engagement party. You won't deny the presence of her fianceé's best friend and best man.

"Ready for the party?" Anna asked while you two looked at some dresses in some store.

The party would be something small, just family and friends, in Tom's backyard. You wanted to help, but going to Tom's house, knowing he would be there, wasn't in your plans.

"Yeah! I'm so happy for you. And Harrison. Since your first date, I knew you two would get married," you said with a smile. "I remember I said I would be a shitty maid of honor," you said with a laugh. "And Tom said he would be a great best man," your smile faded a little when you thought about Tom.

"Did you talk to him?" Anna asked, already knowing the answer.

"No," you said simply.

"Harrison said he's feeling better, but still misses you," Anna said with a weak voice.

You cleared your throat. "I miss him too," you said almost in a whisper.

"Why don't you talk to him?" she asked.

"I don't know. Things got pretty bad between us. I'm still sad with him, and I'm sure he is sad with me too," you said, and the sadness in your voice was almost palpable.

"I'm sure he forgave you. And I think you already forgave him. You're just afraid," she said.

"Maybe. Let's see how mad I'll be when I see him tomorrow," you chuckled, but your voice was still sad. "D-do you...hum...do know what happened...to the girl?

"Oh, please! He ended things with her the morning after your fight, and never saw her again," Anna said.

"What you think of these?" you asked, putting a black floral dress in front of you, and changing the subject to hide how happy that information made you.

"Loved," she said animatedly.

"I'll try it," you said, going into the dressing room.

You didn't wanna think about Tom and all the situation now, but the talk with Anna got stuck into your head. 'He still misses you'. Her voice was louder and clearer than when you talked. You decided to buy the black dress for Anna's party. Thank God she chose a very casual party, so you could go with comfortable clothes.

"I see you tomorrow," Anna said goodbye, leaving you in front of your building.

You got into your apartment, still thinking about your talk with her. You missed Tom, more than anything in your life, but every time you thought about those pictures, and the fact that he did all that even though he liked you, you felt a strange and bitter feeling in your stomach. All you wanted was to talk to him and solve things, but you felt so afraid of what he would do and what he was willing to do to make things better.

You used the rest of your night writing some essays you had to finish this week and watching some comedy on TV.

'Hey. How are you? I just wanna say that I can't wait to see you tomorrow. And I want you to know that I'm cool if you decide not to talk with me. I just want you to be okay 🙂' Tom's message took your attention away from the TV. You stared at the text, not knowing what to say. Of course, you wanted to see him, but talk to him would be the best thing? You really didn't know.

'Hi. I'm great. And you? I'm okay talking to you tomorrow,' you typed, throwing the phone on the other side of the couch like it was a bomb ready to explode. "Fuck!" you said, noticing the smile that appeared in your face.

'I'm good. That's good. I miss talking to you. How crazy it is that our friends are getting married?!@#$' The bleep from your phone made you smile again, and you reached for it, reading his text.

'Crazy as shit! We're not old enough for this,' you ignored the first half of the text on purpose. You missed him, but you weren't ready to let him know that yet.

'I keep saying this to Harrison, but he doesn't listen to me lol. But they love each other very much. Harrison showed me his speech, and I cried like a baby,' he said, and you laughed, remembering how easy it was for him to cry. He had a playlist just for that.

'Well, It's not that hard to make you cry lol. I chose not to hear Anna's speech. I wanted to be a surprise,' you confessed. She told you it would be very emotional, so you decided to enjoy with everyone else at the party.

'I don't cry that easily. I didn't even cry in my last movie,' he said, and you remembered you didn't watch the movie with him because the release happened when you were not talking.

'Congratulations on the movie, btw. I heard it's very good,' you said, confessing you didn't watch it. The real reason for you not to watch you weren't confessing. You didn't wanna hear see him or hear his voice. It was too painful.

'You didn't watch it yet? 😱' he asked, and you could see the shocked and offended look on his face.

'I'm sorry. I didn't have time,' you lied.

'We need to change this! This is unacceptable!' he said, and you wanted to invite him over to solve things once and for all. You wanted to sit in front of the TV, with Tom by your side, like you always did, and watch as many movies as possible.

'I'm going to bed now. See you tomorrow at the party,' you cut him off before he could ask anything else, and Tom noticed that. Because in one minute he was smiling at his cellphone, just about to ask you to watch a movie with him, and now he was staring at your last text, questioning everything he could've said or done to make things different.

"Hey, mate. Are you okay?" Harry asked, entering the TV room, and seeing his brother with a weird face, ignoring the TV.

"Yeah. Just...talked to Y/N," he said, pointing at his phone.

"Really? How did it go?" Harry asked, genuinely interested. He saw his brother whining and moping around the house for the last three months. After the pictures got released, Tom freaked out. He had to go to therapy, you stopped coming to their house, and he wasn't that cheerful guy anymore. Now, he was in a good place. Not like before, but he was getting there. And talk to you was the last step to make everything go back to normal.

"It was going back to normal, but then she shut me down. Not aggressively. She just didn't give me the opportunity to make things as normal as before," he said.

"Oh! I'm sorry, man. But that is better than nothing, right?" Harry shrugged. "And you are seeing her tomorrow. Who knows what can happen?" he smiled, and his brother did the same.

To say that this night was hard was an understatement. Tom couldn't sleep. He scrolled through his entire timeline on Instagram, watched a movie, then another one, ate, played video game, and when there was nothing else to do, he decided that 5am was a good time to go to the gym. But not even that helped him relax. He could feel every fiber in his body suffering from anxiety. Tea with his mom after lunch was the only thing that kept his mind calm for a few hours. After that, he went home to get ready for the party.

There was no set of clothes in his closet that worked. Nothing was good enough. "Hey..." Anna called him from the door. "Want some help?" she offered.

"No. I know you have other things to do. I don't wanna bother you," he said with a smile.

"Not a chance. Everything is settled and I'm ready. Harrison is the one taking forever," she rolled her eyes. "I can help you," she said, getting into his room, and sitting in his bed. "What are your choices?" she asked.

"I don't have any," he scratched his neck, a little embarrassed.

"I think I know what to do," she said, getting up and going through his closet. "It will be simple..." she said, picking up a black pair of jeans and throwing at him. "But very cute..." she picked a black shirt.

"How can a black shirt with a black pair of jeans be cute?" he asked, looking at the clothes she gave him.

"Please..." she rolled her eyes. "You'll look cute," she picked a black cardigan, that he rarely used, and gave it to him. "And will match with the maid of honor, cause she's wearing black too," she finally gave him a white sneaker and a pair of glasses that he liked to use as a fashion statement.

"I'll match the maid of honor?" he asked, biting his bottom lip, trying not to smile.

"Perfectly!" Anna said with a happy smile.

Tom looked at the ground. "I talked to her yesterday," he said, putting the clothes on the bed before Anna could leave.

"And?" Anna said expectantly.

"I was just telling her she didn't need to talk to me today if she didn't want to. But, she said she was okay talking to me," his shrug was trying to sound like he didn't care, but his smile was showing the truth.

"I think you two will work things out," Anna said with a smile, leaning in the doorway.

"I hope so. I miss her so much, it's physically painful sometimes," he confessed with a sad voice.

"I know. I'm rooting for you," Anna said, going to him, and giving him a hug.

"Thanks," he said, and she smiled, leaving him alone.

Soon, the house was getting crowded. The backyard was decorated with fairy lights and wooden furniture. The waiters and waitresses walked around the house, serving beer and pizza.

Tom tried to distract himself, talking to as many people as he could. His mom, dad, and brothers were there since they were practically Harrison's family. His mom was feeling his son's anxiety.

"Are you okay?" she whispered to him.

"Great," he said, but his voice sounded anxious. He kept moving his weight from one foot to another. "She'll be here soon," he said.

"I know. And you'll let her be. Otherwise, you'll scare her," she said.

"Yeah...sure," he agreed. He glanced at the door as he did at least fifty times in the last hour, and for his surprise, this time you were there, taking off your jacket, revealing the black floral dress Anna said you would wear. And you two were matching. Tom's smile grew wilder unconsciously. You talked to some guests that were inside the house and then went outside, joining Anna and Harrison. You looked like an angel. Tom couldn't believe he survived all this time away from you. You looked at him for a second, and he saw Anna whispering something to you. You smiled, widely, and Tom felt like he had won the night.

You walked toward him, going to talk to his family. You didn't see Nikki for so long. You missed drinking tea with her, talking about your life, asking for advice.

"Hey, Ms. Holland," you greeted her.

"Hi, sweetie. Long time, no see,' she said, hugging you.

"Yeah. I was...busy," you said, looking at Tom for a split second and then to her again.

"I imagined. How is everything going? College. Work. Life?" she asked.

"Pretty much the same. I meant to call you a few times in the last months, but I didn't wanna bother you," you said sincerely. You really thought about calling and talking to her.

"Don't be silly. I would've loved talking to you," she said with a kind smile. "Let's have lunch this week. What do you think?"

"I would like that very much," you said, relieved that she didn't hate you after all the drama.

"Dom, look who is here," she said, calling her husband's attention. He said goodbye to the person he was talking to, engaging in conversation with you two. Sometimes your eyes met Tom's, and he noticed a sparkle in them every time you did. He didn't say anything while you were talking to his parents. He didn't want to upset you. "If you excuse us, darling, we're gonna talk to some friends," Nikki said, caressing your arm.

"Sure, go ahead," you said with a smile. They left, and it was just you and Tom.

"Hi," he said softly, trying to contain his excitement.

"Hey," you said, scratching the label of the bottle you were holding, anxiously.

"You look really good," he said, drinking a sip of his beer after.

"Thanks. You too," you were avoiding his eyes.

"Anna helped me choose this," he pointed to his clothes.

"It looks good," you smiled, finally looking in his eyes.

Tom couldn't hold it anymore. His mind wanted to keep it cool, but his mouth was faster. "I miss you. Everyday," he said. You looked at him, and all your worries were dead. All you could think was how much you missed him and how much you wanted him back in your life.

"I..." you started.

"Okay, everyone...it's toast time," Anna said clinking her glass with a fork. You and Tom looked at each other. Tom was afraid he had ruined his only chance. You were sad cause you couldn't tell him you missed him too.

"I'll go first," Harrison said, and some people cheered. "So...Anna. What can I talk about Anna?" he joked. "I'm kidding. I'll just say that the first time Y/N brought you around," he looked at you, raising his bottle, and you smiled. "That day, I knew I would marry you. I didn't say anything cause we were all friends, and I didn't want to scare you. But then, we were watching England's game at the 2018 World Cup, and when we lost, you cried. At that moment, I knew I had do something to make you mine, cause we were made for each other. Two months later I asked you out, and we started dating. Now I'm happy to say that we're gonna cry over the English team together, forever," he said the last part, looking at her. Everyone around cheered and applauded them and Anna gave him a quick kiss.

"Okay, now it's my turn," Anna said, taking a step forward. She was a showoff. "Are you ready to cry?" she asked, looking at him, and he smiled, nodding. I thought I would never find someone that I loved enough to ignore their flaws and accept spending my life with them. Unlike from you, when we first met, I thought great eyes, great body," she laughed, looking at him. "We could be friends. I mean, Tom and Y/N were always together. It wasn't like we could ignore each other," she said, and you and Tom looked at each other. A bit of sadness in your eyes, thinking about how that part wasn't true anymore. "But then, I got to meet you better, I started to see your flaws, and yet, dislike you wasn't an option even if I tried. My grandma always said 'we like because...we love despite...' I like you because you're nice to me, you are my best friend and you always search for me in a room when someone tells something funny, just to see my reaction. And I love you despite you being the last one to get ready, your gym schedule, and all the times you yell 'Wonderwall' in my ear, even though you know I hate this song," she finished. Her eyes were glistening with tears, just like everybody else. It took a few seconds for people to start cheering and clapping them. Harrison hugged her, with a wide and bright smile.

"Great speech," you said, going to her and Harrison, and hugging them. Tom following right behind you.

"I almost cried again," Tom said, hugging Harrison.

"Almost?" Anna asked, her thumbs brushing the corner of his eyes, cleaning a tear that threatened to fall.

"It was a really good speech," he defended himself.

"Thanks," she smiled. "We're gonna talk to...some people. We see you guys later?" she said holding your hand, and you and Tom nodded.

"We're gonna eat something," he said, resting his hand on your lower back, and they left. "Can we talk?" he asked, once Harrison and Anna left.

"Yeah, sure!" you said, and he noticed the anxiety in your voice. At least he wasn't the only one that was afraid.

He walked to his room, opening the door so you could go in first. You walked to the window, looking at the party that was happening downstairs.

"It looks really good from here," you said. "They are so happy," you smiled, watching Harrison and Anna dance together.

"I'm happy to see you," he said, cutting you off. "I've missed you. Everyone did," his hands were in his pockets, and he was trying to stay calm even though his heart was loud in his ear.

"I missed everyone too. It was good to see your mom," you said, fidgeting with the fabric of your dress. The room went silent. Tom didn't wanna push you, but he wanted to be with you and talk like before. Maybe he didn't think this through. The only noise was the music from the party. "I'm sorry," you said, taking a step forward, and Tom looked at you, waiting. You were nervous. "I'm sorry for pushing you away the way I did," your voice was heavy. "We were both sad and broken-hearted, and I was selfish. I only thought about the pain I was feeling. I'm sorry for ignoring your feelings," you said, and Tom felt his heart beating faster. He never thought about that night this way. He always thought about how much pain he caused you and how guilty he was feeling.

"I should've talked to you. I was so focused on the reasons why we couldn't be together," Tom said, taking a step in your direction. "I never thought about the reasons why we could," he confessed. These last three months he thought a lot about what he did wrong, and not talking to you sooner, giving you the chance to decide if you two could work, was his biggest mistake. "I was a coward. With you, with me, with that girl," his voice was trembling. "And I regret every day for what I did," he finished. You were looking at him, and your expression was unreadable. Even for him, that knew you for half of his life.

"I love you, and I," you started, but then you stopped. Your eyes blinking heavily. "I love you," you repeated after a few seconds, touching your lips with your fingers, looking away from him. It was like you could touch every word. "I...I love you!" you said like you just realized that. You had told him that before, but you were so hurt that you never let yourself feel that completely. Now, standing here, with nothing in your way, that was all you could feel. "I love you..." you smiled, looking at Tom that still had a lost look in his face. "I love you!" you said one last time like you were declaring your feelings for him.

Without giving you a chance to say it again, Tom walked the two steps that were keeping you apart, holding your face in his hands, and kissing you. It was urgent and frantic at first, but then you felt your heart slowing down and it was like the entire world was in slow motion. Your hand went to his waist, holding his sweater, while his fingers tangled in your hair, one of his hands holding your neck, deepening, even more, the kiss.

"I love you too," he whispered against your lips, breaking the kiss. He smiled, looking into your eyes. "And I really think we should go on a date."

1 year and 7 months later...

"Lunch is ready," Sam called from the kitchen, and soon footsteps and a door closing were heard upstairs.

"Y/N! You're cheating!" Tom yelled.

"Stop whining. I just closed the door!" you yelled back, running down the stair.

"Racing again?" Sam asked, seeing you enter the kitchen breathless.

"He said he would clean the room if I won," you shrugged. You yelped, feeling Tom lifting you up by the waist. "NO! PUT ME DOWN!" you yelled.

"You cheated!" he said, carrying you to the backyard and locking you out. He pointed and laughed at you through the glass door.

"I can't believe you are doing this. Let me in. I'm hungry!" you said, crossing your arms on your chest.

"If you wanna get in you'll have to do three things first," he said.

"They are being idiots again?" Harry asked entering the kitchen and seeing you two.

"What's going on?" Harrison asked, and Harry pointed to the glass door.

"Idiots," Anna said sitting on a chair around the dinner table.

"What three things?" you asked.

"First, you'll apologize for cheating," he said and you rolled your eyes. "Second, you'll help me clean the room. And third," he put his hand on his pocket, taking out a black velvet box. He opened the box, revealing a ring, and your eyes grew wider, noticing what was happening. "Marry me?" he said, and you covered your mouth in shock, just like everyone else behind him.

"Yes!" you said, feeling your eyes burning. "Yesyesyes!" you repeated, nodding frantically, while he opened the door, pulling you into a hug.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

#tom holland x reader #tom holland #i’m not good at this and yet i’m doing it #tom holland fluff #fluff #tom holland blurb #tom holland imagine #tom holland fic #tom holland scenario #tomhollandxreader #blurbs #tom holland angst #tom holland x fem!reader #tom holland x you #tom holland x female reader #tom x y/n #tom holland x y/n #tom hollandxreader

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slytherinbangchan · 5 years

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F*ckboy!Jisung!Au

Warnings: Smut, alcohol and he’s one of my biases so this is gonna be cutE too. So be ready ok?

Blog’s masterlist // F*ckboy Hyunjin // F*ckboy Minho // F*ckboy Bangchan //

Word count: A little more than 2.4k (Normally I do 3 word pages. This one has SIX (6).

-Jisung is one of your little brother's friends.

-You used to see him almost everyday for three years cause of your brother.

-There's no way to tell when you two started flirting.

-Cause it's something that happened naturally.

-At first you thought he was just joking around.

-He has this flirty personality.

-But then one day your brother was on the shower and you were just messing around with Jisung.

-Playing some game or something.

-And he just kissed you.

-You never talked about it.

-But everytime your brother wasn't looking he would just grab your hand and steal a kiss.

-And boy, the butterflies in your stomach.

-That kid seriously.

-Things changed when you started college.

-And since this year your brother moved out to study abroad now you only see Jisung from time to time on the street.

-He goes out with other friends now.

-They have a kind of F4 guys ⁽ᴮᵒʸˢ ᵒᵛᵉʳ ᶠˡᵒʷᵉʳˢ⁾ situation going on.

-You assumed Jisung lost his interest on you as soon as he became popular.

-He seems to have a nice amount of girls surrounding him on a daily basis.

-You don't blame them, you'd love to be around him too.

-Sometimes you just watch him from afar as he chats with his friends.

-Minding the little details that makes him who he is.

-Like the way he laughs after saying something serious.

-How he puts on his jacket.

-Or how he combs back his hair with his hands.

-How you can tell he's telling one of his awkward jokes even if you can't actually hear him.

-Or how he gets annoyed when the guys look at him in silence and only Hyunjin laughs.

-Yeah, you know the name of some of the others too.

-They’re so popular even among the girls on your classes.

-You let out a sigh and start walking again.

-It would be incredibly awkward if they see you staring.

-But you can't stop looking every time you happen to spot them on the streets.

-It's funny cause there was a time he was just your lil brother's friend.

-But that lasted like 2 seconds.

-'Ouch' you bumped into someone while thinking about how sad you feel.

-'Sorry' He says.

-Sssshit is Minho. 'Ahh.. no... My fault'. You say.

-'Do I know you?' he asks.

-'What?' You're blushing already.

-Did he noticed you staring at them some other time?

-'Hm, I think I've seen your face somewhere before'.

-'Ah.. I don't think so...'

-He laughs. 'Anyway, are you doing something right now? You look cute'.

-'W-what?'

-'I'm having coffee with some friends. Why don't you tag along?'

-He didn't just said that.

-'Ah... I don't know...'

-'You're busy then?'

-'Ah...'

-So, somehow you ended up going with him.

-Now you're walking behind Minho trying to hide from Jisung.

-But he's gonna see you.

-You're freakin walking towards him and his other friends.

-Your body temperature raising and your hands shaking.

-Why are you making such a big deal of this?

-Maybe cause he's been with at least 15 different girls since you last met him.

-Cause rumour has it, he's a player now.

-Like all of his new friends.

-They say Minho is the worst btw.

-And there you are being dragged by him.

-Minho says hi to them before you actually arrive where they are.

-Jisung's smiling expression almost gone for a second when he first notices you.

-You don't know if he is confused about you being there or annoyed.

-But he gets his smile back as the girl he was talking to ask him something for a second time.

-'Guys I met someone just now. She almost killed me.' Minho jokes.

-'Omg. I feel like I know you from somewhere' Bangchan says.

-'Yeah, me too' Changbin adds.

-'What's your name?

-That's Jisung asking.

-Is he really pretending he doesn't know you??

-IS HE?

-Ok, relax.

-You chuckle. 'It's y/n. And I don't know why you guys think you know me.' you say. 'I don't think I've ever seen any of you before'.

-Jisung smiles. He finds amusing you’re playing that game too for some reason.

-You spend the evening with them and you all end up in a pub drinking.

-Minho has you sitting on his lap.

-And I meaan, he's cute.

-And hot.

-And Jisung is an idiot.

-So you're not complaining about the lap thing at all.

-His hands on your hips.

-He makes you turn around a little to look at him.

-Are you having fun? -He asks.

-You nod. 'I think I'm kinda drunk'.

-He smiles.

-His face getting closer to yours.

-Do you wanna kiss Minho right now?

-I think you do.

-Now more than ever cause Jisung is looking.

-After the kiss you just sit there playing with Minho's hair.

-Jisung bringing more and more drinks to Minho.

-He ends up pretty drunk.

-'Oh. Looks like Minho is really drunk. Guys you take him home. I'll drive y/n'. Jisung says.

-'Really? You can drive?' You ask him and he frowns.

-The guys don't think much of the whole situation. They're all kinda drunk too.

-You follow Jisung to his car.

-There's not a single word as you do so.

-Not either on the ride home.

-He knows where you live anyways.

-'Ok, thanks'. You say, once you're in front of your house'.

-He sighs. 'Wait'.

-You go back to your seat to hear what he has to say.

-'I'm sorry I pretended I didn't know you'. He's not looking at you. 'I didn't expect to see you there and the guys are a bunch of idiots so I panicked'.

-'Are you ashamed of me or something?'

-'Of course not'. He looks at you as he says so. 'but I don't think I can explain to you what's happening just yet'.

-You scoff. 'Whatever'.

-'Are you mad at me? I'm really sorry'.

-'I'm...Dissapointed I guess. But ok. If you want to pretend we don't know eachother...'

-'I understand you feeling that way. I'm not proud of myself' either'.

-You sigh deeply. 'Goodbye Jisung'.

--------------------------------------------------------------

-It's been a couple weeks now.

-And you've been going out with the guys almost every day.

-You're kinda one of Minho's girls now.

-Like he loves having you on his lap as you all talk with the guys.

-Your arm resting over his shoulders.

-Stealing a kiss from his lips from time to time.

-And it's ok.

-It feels fine.

-If Jisung has already forgotten about you.

-Why would you keep thinking about the past?

-He's been walking around with the same girl these last weeks.

-So they must have something going on.

-Anyways.

-You've been drinking again.

-Chan is throwing a party at his place.

-You're on Minho's lap as always.

-Jisung is sitting by your side.

-'You should come to my house later y/n' Minho says. 'I'll introduce you to my cats'.

-Jisung scoffs and you both look at him. 'I'm going for another drink' you say looking back to Minho.

-He nods and you go away.

-You feel how someone pulls from your wrist.

-It's Jisung. He's dragging you to Chan's room.

-'What are you doing?' You ask him.

-'Me?? what are you doing?' He looks annoyed.

-I was... Going for a drink?

-He scoffs. 'And then back to Minho's lap?'

-You chuckle. 'I guess. Why?'

-He looks around nervously and then sighs. 'Are you really going home with him?'

-'I...'

-'But he's so kinky y/n'.

-'Oooh, he is huh? Interesting'. You make an interested thinking face.

-'GROSS. I didn't know you liked that kind of stuff'.

-'Of course you didn't we never fucked'.

-He blushes and that makes you blush too.

-'Anyway, what do you want? Are you drunk?'

-'Of course I am. It's a party'.

-'Ok, well' you chuckle. 'Maybe you sh..'

-He's grabbing your hand. Lacing his fingers with yours.

-You look at your hands and then look at him in the eyes.

-He's coming closer.

-Bringing back so many memories.

-His lips just cms away from yours.

-'GUYS, HERE YOU ARE'. Bangchan opening the door so suddenly.

-Jisung lets your hand go.

-'LET'S GO, WE'RE PLAYING SOME GAMES'.

-You follow Bangchan to the living room.

-'What are we playing?' You ask.

-'Minho suggested never have I ever'. Changbin says.

-'I WANNA START'

-'Ok, Bangchan, stop screaming'. Jisung says.

- 'I'M TOO EXCITED'.

-Hyunjin rolls his eyes at him. 'Who's starting?' He looks around. 'Changbin?'

-'Oh, ok. Hmmm. I don't know what to say tho...' He makes a thinking face. 'Ah ok. Never have I ever fallen in love with someone in this room'.

-You have to drink. You know that. But should you?

-There's a few people drinking so you think no one would notice if you do too.

-Minho is looking at you as you gulp down that drink.

-Omg does he thinks you did it for him?

-'GUYS, JISUNG TOOK A SIP FROM HIS DRINK. JISUNG IS IN LOVE'.

-'No way'. Changbin says. 'He just wants to drink'.

-''WHY AR EYOU SO SURE'

-'Can someone please take away Bangchan's drink already?' Minho asks.

-'I'll take care of that' There's a guy called Seungmin taking away Bangchan's cup.

-'Should we keep playing now? Jisung asks. 'People is getting bored'

-'Ok then. I proclaim myself king of the drinking games'. Minho says. 'next one is seven minutes in heaven. And I'll handpick the ones going in.'

-'Ok, whatever, let's go' Hyunjin sounds impatient.

-He picks some random people first.

-You're kinda nervous cause you don't know what's going to happen.

-Probb Minho won't sent you in with another guy anyway.

-But then he does.

-'Jisung and y/n, go'.

-Everyone is SO confused.

-Seriously.

-You go in the closet followed by Jisung.

-It's a very tiny space.

-You can't stand without touching.

-'Should we just kiss for the old times?'

-He asks straight away and you chuckle. 'What about your girlfriend?

-'I don't have a girlfriend. I never had one'. He lacing his fingers with yours again.

-And he just finally kisses you.

-And it feels so familiar but at the same time he got so much better at it.

-He had all those girls to practice.

-Even the butterflies in your stomach are stronger.

-He bitting your lip and your jaw.

-'Are you bitting my jaw?' You giggle.

-He chuckles. 'Shut up, it's cute'. -His husky pouty voice.

-His hands pressing your body against his.

-And you just can't stop kissing him everywhere on his face and his neck.

-Your chest is about to explode.

-All those feelings coming back.

-Like if they actually left sometime.

-You're practically moaning at his kisses when the guys open the door.

-Your clothes and hair so messy.

-Everyone is laughin.

-You blush lightly as you fix your clothes once you're outside.

-Minho motioning you to sit on his lap again.

-You look at Jisung and he chuckles. 'Go with him. Find me later'.

-'Why did you send me in with Jisung?' You ask Minho.

-'No reason'. He says.

-And that's it. That's the party.

-Most of the people go back home.

-Only Changbin, Hyunjin, Seungmin and Jisung stay at Bangchan's with you.

-You're all sleeping on the same room. Mostly on the floor. But there's a couple beds.

-You don't know what Jisung meant with find me later, but you can't sleep thinking about it so you just tiptoe to his bed.

-He scooch over so you can lie besides him. 'Hi'. You say.

-'Hi. I almost fell asleep waiting for you' He says in his sleepy voice.

-'Sorry'.

-You can hardly see him but he's smiling.

-Giving you some skimo kisses.

-Till you just kiss him for real.

-And it gets so heated after a while.

-He topping you. Making some room between your legs.

-You can feel his boner against your body.

-His impaired breath over your neck as he dry humps you.

-You look for his lips.

-'Jisung...' you whine quietly. 'fuck me please'. Then you kiss him.

-He stops for a moment to look at you. 'Are you sure?' He whispers.

-You nod. 'I'll be quiet, I promise'.

-He kisses you and takes out your underwear.

-His thumb rubbing your clit.

-'It's ok baby' you say. 'Just go in'.

-He chuckles. 'so impatient'

-He sinks into you, slowly at first.

-Then he speeds up the pace.

-The bed's springs creaking as he pounds into you.

-He slows down when it becomes too loud at first.

-Shushing you every time a little moan scapes your mouth.

-But after a while he just doesn't care.

-His hands grasping at the bed sheets as he cums.

-Yours scratching his back lightly.

-And the neverending kisses after that.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

-Next day at breakfast everyone is so silent.

-Then Changbin's laugh resonates through the whole house.

-'What?' Hyunjin asks.

-'Remember how we all thought y/n face was familiar? I told Minho about her and Jisung fucking last night and...'

-The only reason he stopped is cause you're choking and they can't hear him propperly.

-Jisung pats your back and you can breathe again.

-'That's right y/n, just in case you thought otherwise. You two weren't quiet at all'. Changbin says.

-Jisung laughs at it but you're blushing hard.

-'ANYWAYS, as I was saying. Minho was the one watching the phones as people went into the closet in 7 minutes in heaven. He saw your lockscreen'. He's looking at Jisung.

-'Oh...' He says.

-'Guys, remember long ago that time Jisung was so drunk and he ended up crying talking about his first love and he showed us a bunch of pics?? It was y/n. -He laughs.

-Everyone is looking at you except Jisung now. 'Ohhh, yeaah'. They say.

-'OMG, THAT'S WHY JISUNG HAD THAT SHOT LAST NIGHT WHEN YOU ASKED THE LOVE THINGY'.

-'Bangchan. Are you still drunk? Be honest'. Seungmin says.

-'y/n'. Jisung is whispering at you. 'Can we talk somewhere else?'

-You nod and follow him to another room.

-'That's it'. He says.

-'What??'

-'That's the reason'. Your expression must be a very confused one cause he starts over. 'I told you I was sorry for pretending I didn't know you back when you appeared out of the blue with Minho'. You nod and he keeps talking. 'Ok, so. I didn't want them to tell you about me drunk crying over you. So I pretended I didn't know you. Cause I knew they were drunk too when I did that and they probb wouldn't remember about it'.

- You don't say a word for a while.

-'Ok. I don't know how I should feel right now but... I just can't help thinking is kinda cute you drunk cried over me.

-He blushes. 'Shut up'.

-You mess with him a little and then grab his hand as he pouts.

-'You know... I didn't know you felt like that about me back then. But I did feel that way. And I'm still in love with you even now so'.

He smiles widely. 'You are??' you nod and he hugs you. 'I love you too. Now let’s get out of here then. I wanna kiss you in front of Minho'.

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strwbrrychclt · 3 years

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I finished my video assignment on time, so I thought what better way to reward myself other than what usually makes me happy? Watching k dramas. So that's what ai exactly did.

Then I watched it. I was on ep 12 btw. anyways, I wasn't hoping for anything really. I just wanna watch it and get it done with so I could check another finished drama on my to watch list.

However, I have no idea I was gonna cry like this. I've been crying for three hours now. Their acting is good, really. But to be honest, I was expecting it to happen. Jungyeong facing what she's most afraid of. I. WAS. EXPECTING. IT.

But I cried, still. The entire time the climax was happening, all I could ever think about was how superficial this world is. How looks fuckin matter TOO MUCH. SO MUCH. I'm so fuckin done.

She was literally facing her trauma. If you remove the sfx, everything? Experience it first hand? Every second will feel excruciatingly long. Your hands will tremble. Your soul will suddenly leave you. You hands will feel extremely sweaty against your coat. Your beating heart, will beat so fast. It feels as if it'll explode at any moment now. You'll have trouble breathing. You'll no longer find your voice to speak, to ask them to stop. Because your body just gave up on you. All you ever want is to end it all.

Because of what? Your looks?! Why do people care so much? Why do we set these standards for ourselves, then shame those who won't fit those unattainable standards?

Everyone are doing their best to fit in a puzzle they're not supposed to be in. Then the society will get shocked cuz they suddenly feel betrayed cuz peole are making an effort to wear make- up, so they could look appealing to you? Wow.

"This is too little to consider a trauma" How dare you say that? You're an even piece of trash for thinking like that. A potato will obviously soften when put in a hot water, but the same water hardens the egg. Humans are humans because they're quite different from each other you see. How dare you judge someone just because you don't like how they look? How dare you laugh at someone's pain?

As someone who have been surrounded by people who seem like their goal in life is to bring me down, shove it on my face how "ugly" I am, those moments brings me back. I wasn't the same eight year old girl who used to look in the mirror and see a normal girl. But I'm working on that. It's hard to build the confidence, when everyday, you yourself or someone else it knocking it down. But I wanna get through it.

You see, I don't want another girl to do experience the same thing and ruin her for not fitting the standards. Fuck those standards. It's useless when only a small portion of people fit on it.

So remember the golden rule. IF YOU DON'T WANNA SAY SOMETHING NICE THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH A BAD BEHAVIOUR, THEN SHUT THE FUCK UP. It's a fucking insult, not a criticism. Know the difference siz. May it be online or in person. If you have all this time to insult them, why not use that time to maybe correct that fuck up mindset?

As Suho said, you're only ruining yourself for ruining others. It'll make them tough but how about you? It'll only leave you with guilt.

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vaguely-concerned · 4 years

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The Untamed Liveblog

Yes hello I watched the whole thing and wrote down some of my thoughts and feelings along the way so I wouldn’t fuckign EXPLODE! Only look under the cut if you’re prepared for a truly outrageous amount of rambling (...no really)

- I am elated to find that so far every adaptation I’ve seen has faithfully preserved the absolutely bizarre structure of the original book, I am appreciating the dedication haha

- the actor lends this version of lan wangji such an edge of youth and vulnerability right from the beginning, it breaks my heart. I don’t care how good he is with a sword, you can’t expose this pure sweet boy to the horrors of war!!!

- I am so glad I already know who all these characters are and wtf is going on, I can’t imagine watching this first time without that knowledge lol

- I love how they’ve made nie huaisang look so small and soft next to all the other cultivator, he looks like a floofy and eternally confused baby birb ;______;

- nhs citing the goldfinch as the reason he doesn’t want to die (presumably because no one will know to take care of it) TOT ur meant to be comic relief in this part of the story buddy you can’t make me cry like this yet!!!

(also the actor for wwx effortlessly sliding into being protective and reassuring and Good in a crisis. wonderful!)

- the actor for xue yang has chosen to go with the sexy baby school of evil acting normally associated with female villains and for that I can only applaud him

also setting up characters who are going to be important later on is something this show is doing better than the original haha, both the extra wen quing & ning and song lan & xiao xingcheng content is appreciated. (especially the latter suffered from ‘oh yeah those two -- actually wait who the fuck are these two again’ syndrome for me when I read the book. additional note: I am very sorry but clearly they are gay there’s no other explanation here)

- poor jiang cheng, they really haven’t given him much help in this huh. I would sort of have preferred it if they let him be ever so slightly less abrasive in the beginning, like in the book and the animated version; I’m not feeling quite as devastated over this relationship as I did in either of those.

- lan xichen’s soft knowing smile is a blessing every time. just a nice man. did not deserve this. protect.

- kudos to the actor for jin guangyao for the instinctive creeping unease I feel whenever he talks, even at this stage. he’s a wrong ‘un sir he’s a wrong ‘un

- y’know both the fact that nhs spent three days catching a bird and kept it with him undetected and that he’s the friend you go to for the good porn and managed to not only smuggle it into the cloud recesses but did so without getting caught... some wonderful subtle foreshadowing here (to make up for the very blatant visual foreshadowing that’s already been given out I assume lol)

- anyway lan ancestor lady and baoshan-sanren? gay. sad and gay. (I love how thoroughly wwx is getting to meet the in-laws btw lol how often do you have to meet your future spouse’s family from like three generations ago and take care of her rabbits for her after she’s gone, all before you even get to second base)

- fkadshfkasjdlhfsdjkfh the sheer consistency of nhs wistfully commenting on all the beautiful men surrounding him fsadfkjsdhfksd I think they might oh so subtly be hinting at some stuff here. HILARIOUS that this version, which has to maintain at least the veneer of some plausible homoerotic deniability, is a lot more overt about it than the book, which is free to be balls to the wall as gay as you please

- oh no nie mingjue just showed up my entire heart is on fire. BIG BROTHER!! so stern yet fair, so righteous, so worried y______y also can we talk about how his ‘hmmm I think imma stab it?’ approach to evil in general and xue yang in particular would have saved everyone a lot of grief later on? and he tells wwx the whole necromancy thing is probably not a good idea? (I really like how he does it too, he has so much Older Brother Energy it spills over when he talks to other kids around huaisang’s age lol. it’s good that they show his temper isn’t indiscriminate at all, he’s not angry at wwx even though his idea is provably incredibly dangerous) sole ornery voice of reason nie mingjue, also did not deserve what’s about to happen, I cry and my tears are blood

- ‘yeah okay I get that you’re mad but have you maybe considered... I didn’t do it?’ is an unusually weak opening move from jgy considering nmj literally did just see him absolutely 100% do it

- there should be a WARNING at the beginning of episodes where nmj cries so one could be PREPARED for the emotional devastation!!!!! tollest & stronkest man of the cast also stupidly pretty and heartbreaking while crying, it’s not fair

- I love how every cultivation sect’s home (except for the wens b/c they’re cartoon villains) is refined and beautiful and luxurious, even when it’s in a restrained way like the lans’... and then there’s the nie place which is like ‘please understand that this is a fuckn fortress’

- aww this doomed jiang cheng/wen quing thing is cute! too bad about... everything that’s about to happen happening huh

- oh wen ning. very hilarious that he’s known as the ~*ghost general*~ forevermore when actually... he is baby... cinnamon roll baby... too good for this world, too pure...

- how is this cgi turtle somehow less egregious than the one in the animated version lol. I quite like this bad little friend! long neck.

- oh NO lan wangji finally letting himself show that he’s in pain when they’re in private... i’m uwu

this beautiful boy is so long and lanky tho, I must admit he triggers my parental instinct more than the hot boy alert at this stage (but that’s fine I’m not the one who’s going to smooch him that’s wwx’s job lol)

the look of absolute disbelief and despair lwj gives when wwx thinks he’s in love with mianmian... this show is a cinematic masterpiece and I will hear no other opinion

- lwj looking at the love of his life completely missing the point: are you a joke to you (the answer is yeah)

- okay we’ve officially hit the point where everything’s about to go to hell for real, pray for me I’m not sure I can handle this again

- jiang fengmian acknowledge your other son who desperately wants your attention and affection challenge (unfinished)

- watching this scene knowing exactly what this promise means to jiang cheng and that wwx is going to break it... this is fINE

why the fuck did I do this to myself I know what’s about to happen when will I learn to quit while I’m ahead lol

- the change in subtext from the novel that EVERYONE sees wangxian coming from day one is so painful from jiang cheng’s side. this poor boy really has abandonment issues pelting him from every direction huh. tfw your idiot genius brother doesn’t even fucking realize he’s basically announcing he’s leaving your clan and your side to get married one day ;______;

- man mxtx is just so GOOD at peppering in the small private tragedies that somehow sting even worse than huge atrocities going on. the fact that madam yu and papa jiang never manage to reconcile and communicate except possibly in death... oof my friends. oooof.

- WAIT WHAT NO DON’T SHOW ME THE CHILDREN WHO’RE ABOUT TO DIE WHAT THE FUCK YOU MONSTERS

- like we’re right at the worst part now and she is an asshole... but damn madam yu’s last stand is epic tho. like a champ to the end

- wen zhuliu’s actor being able to uphold a look of tremendous boredom at all times regardless of what’s going on around him is Poetic Cinema Bitches

- jiang cheng and wei ying are holding hands on the boat... stab me in the heart... end my suffering

- you know what in this version we get to see that madam yu knew her husband came back for her and they died holding hands and not everything’s on fire yet, so far this isn’t quite as harrowing as the animated version. the dead children are fucking me up but the tone of the animated version is like a nightmare, this is less disturbing to me

also can we talk about how madam yu fought them off the whole day and night and her husband gets his ass owned within five minutes 😔 oh papa jiang

- oh okay turns out jiang cheng’s ‘I want my mom and dad’ gets to me in every adaptation good to know

they’re so young they’re bbs I don’t want to be here anymore haha

- wen ning. a sweet angel. just the goodest of boys. his sister raised him so well ;______:

- wen quing is so ethereally beautiful and also looks like she could stop a train with the force of one glance. like she’s my height but her presence is immense

- oh I see we’ve arrived at the tiny adorable flashback bbs part of this journey, let me just... just lie down somewhere huh

- outside of the central romance this is a tale about people who love their brothers very very much and it’s real sad for everyone involved

- me watching nie mingjue kicking down the doors to reclaim his own dang fortress: YEEEEAAAAH GO OFF DAGE!!! i um love him and his very handsome face

- jiang cheng dreaming about his family is EMOTIONAL WARFARE!!! how fucking dare!!!

- y’know what this isn’t a bad way of adapting the burial grounds thing! also pretty cost effective I imagine, gotta think about the budget when so much of it goes into fabulous wigs and robes

- credit where it’s due, the actor for wen chao makes his face do some shit I didn’t know human faces could do and he’s enjoyable to watch in the capacity as your friendly neighbourhood hate sink

- lwj consistently using wwx’s personal name even when talking to total strangers now... mhm this is also fine

- I can’t beliEVE this show is somehow less subtle about the gay stuff than the book, jin zixuan basically just asked lwj if he and wwx were... y’know... I guess cultivation partners would be the way to go here lol. between that and nhs more or less asking them if they were off fucking after the whole cold cave debacle... what a time to be alive even if they’re not going to kiss on-screen

- huaisang I hate to have to be the one to tell you this but your brother is an entire snacc. and yet I respect him way too much to ever proposition him, I know he is busy winning a war and being Righteous and slowly being driven mad by the ghost in his sword on top of raising his little brother, I’m not here to complicate things for him any further

I love this version of nmj so much though. this sense that he also sees the stuff that is genuinely good in jgy and has a real moment of grief that the dude just can’t seem to get away from his basic insecurity that causes him to do horrific things, even when handed other opportunities... the fact that he seems regretful and worried when asking jin zixuan how jgy is doing with the jin....... everything to do with his little brother...................... oh no he’s Soft in his private life this is awful

- poor lwj’s ‘I have a bad feeling about this’ face in this scene haha, he’s staring at this talisman like ‘I only know one person smart and dumb enough to pull this off’

- can’t wen quing just get one nice thing. one nice thing just for her. hasn’t she been through enough. give her her brother back and a nice quiet place to practice medicine and maybe some soft romance with jiang cheng eventually this show is kind of selling me on this.

- unexpectedly my favourite part of the revenge scene is just the camera switching back to lwj and jc watching in horrified silence like ‘...O___o dude this is fucked up tho right?? it’s not just me that’s messed up??’

- one is forced to wonder about wen zhuliu tho. this version reads as pretty explicitly depressed/suicidal to me, he’s kind of an interesting villain since his main traits are unquestioning loyalty mixed with unending indifference and also seemingly not too pressing a will to live

- oh nhs desperately trying to keep it together and pretend nothing’s different ;_____; this version is really driving it home that wwx is a lot of people’s only friend -- jiang cheng is mentioned to not have anyone but his sister to play with before he arrived, lwj was raised primarily on books and rules and his brother is ELATED that he has one (1) friend now, from the sheer depth of the attachment I’m willing to bet nhs hasn’t had many real friends in his life either. wwx gives and gives of himself and doesn’t know how to take help in return.

- foreknowledge is a beautiful thing; if you look at nhs when it’s revealed wwx didn’t bring his sword you can visibly see his brain kicking into overdrive haha. smart boy.

- big sister ;_______; I am an older sibling so I haven’t really had the feeling of having an older sister to look to, I see why it might be comforting now

- oh this is some real uruk-hai shit!! honestly the special effects in this aren’t half as bad as I’d been lead to fear, some of you guys just weren’t forged in the crucible of shitty sci-fi channel cgi at an early age and it shows

(honestly the weird fight stuff threw me much worse in nirvana in fire, because that series has such intricate, credible and realistic political world building and then people are flying all over the place through wire fu and it is so disorienting haha)

- oh nhs looking up at his brother like a puppy during the war council T______T baby bird boy

(between this point in the main story and fatal journey it’s very interesting how clearly nhs needs the emotional stability and safety of his brother -- who also seems to be his parental figure -- to function properly, even in his late teens. it looks like he needed more time to grow up than the rest of them even before they were all thrown into this awful bullshit. well he does have a lot of murderkitten brain to grow I guess that’s fair enough lol. wwx has some of the same thing with his sister too)

- whenever lxc and nmj look at each other it feels like the only two adults in the room meeting each other’s eyes like ‘...oh dear’

- aww lwj getting some advice from his brother. this poor kid really hasn’t been raised to handle the moral complexity of the real world huh, good thing lxc is here to lend some nuance to lan qiren’s unforgiving dogma

- oh lan zhan

- nmj’s plan to just idk somehow go in alone and fight the wen overlord mano a mano to avoid any more casualties... a spine made of steel, a heart made of gold, a head made of wood :’) truly a perfect man, good thing his brother got the brains in that family and he has some more sensible people around him

- in the face of inevitability I plead... jiang yanli... please don’t marry this asshole your son is going to be predictably insufferable

wwx has suffered through so much the last four months or so and yet his real breaking point is seeing his sister cry and can I just say -- relatable content

- NO! NO STOP HURTING HIM HE’S JUST GOOD AND HANDSOME AND DOESN’T DESERVE THIS

(could be applied to like 98% of these characters but in this case it’s nmj b/c I love him)

I do find it very funny and oddly comforting that nmj is literally so fuckn mad that it takes three times as many attacks for the evil sorcery stuff to take him down than we’ve seen used on anyone else fsdkfhasdkj too angry to die

wHY has my brain chosen for me to attach so deeply to perhaps The single most inevitably doomed person in this entire cast, at this point I’m just being cruel to myself lol

- I can’t describe how much I love the fanficiness of this story, in the best ways. the emotional fallout from the destruction of the lotus pier gets more screentime and attention than the entire sunshot campaign, and that’s exactly how I want it to be.

- they’ve been doing some great work to establish that the jin are also jeeeeeerks for such a long time, how’s that for foreshadowing

- equal opportunity traitor jgy gets his stab in lol one must respect the grift, though, he’s set himself up pretty darn good

*lxc stops nmj from killing jgy, hello darkness my old friend starts playing in the background*

fatal journey builds nicely on this fundamental thing that the nie boys take their responsibility to their people extremely seriously, it seems to be the fact that jgy so blithely talks about them as necessary casualties that really sets him off

- adlfsdfhsdkjh lxc and nmj meekly being like ‘...we could maybe... not commit war crimes? if that’s at all possible? no?’

*slaps ‘I don’t think you even tried at all’ stars on both of them* (I mean I actually do kind of see where they’re coming from a bit, they just came out of a pretty costly war and I wouldn’t feel too comfortable getting right back into it with arguably the wealthiest faction, who’s also been keeping back a bit and thus kept a lot more reserves. well played jin bastards well played)

- I could stop here. if I stopped here everything would basically be as okay as they could be and the world full of hope still. I suppose the question here is... do I love myself enough to quit while the going is good. and the answer is no I already started the next episode

- I think one incredibly endearing aspect of this version of nmj is that he has a look of faint but permanent worry about him. he walked onto the screen with a vibe of ‘...oh boy I don’t like where this is going’ and he’s just kept going ever since

in the book he’s kind of a flat character (whose one trait is Mad), I love that they’ve given him some depth and nuance here! probably partly down to the actor doing a great job, but this version has a real sort of warmth to him and also seems downright uncertain at times -- he thrives when there’s a clear goal and black and white sides, and is probably not t h r i l l e d with the weird tentative political situation after they take down the wens lol. thank god he has his little brother to make ‘bitch please’ faces over his shoulder when the jin get weird about things

anyway I’m always on the ‘nhs you are SO valid’ train, but in this version nhs is quadruple valid, in fact only mianmian is more valid in this entire world

- one of my favourite parts of this show is when wwx enters a situation and the camera takes some time to zoom in on the faces of his family and friends to convey their sense of ‘oh god what the fuck is he about to say now’ dread

- jiang yanli asking her little brother if he doesn’t want to stay with them anymore while crying is emotional kryptonite, help

this poor woman, she had to put all her points into emotional intelligence b/c god knows no one else in this family did

- hell YEAH lan zhan go break some rules!! treat yourself my guy

- hey sis if, theoretically, one hypothetically found oneself in -- for the sake of argument -- love with, as the case may or may not be, someone... how would one tell?? asking for a friend

- the whole summary of this fucking show is just ‘weaponized sibling feels’ everything hurts with foreknowledge why did I keep going

- aw no blindfolded kiss scene but here’s a scene with real earnest emotional intimacy stuff going on instead... I will joyfully take it your honor

- I do value and respect the translators giving us these subtitles so much... but they did also force me to read the words ‘bosom friend’ with my own two eyes right there and that was not very cool of them

- why oh WHY must jiang yanli, best person in the world, have been cursed with the horrible fate of being in love with the dumbest man on the planet

*jiang yanli juggling all the idiot men in her life* oh god my little brother is causing an international diplomatic incident again time to bUCKLE UP

oh ho ho you know shit is getting real when big sister gets mad I LOVE HER. suddenly you see she definitely her mother’s daughter after all lol

wwx crying because his sister just fiercely defended him in public... im uwu

- I hate jgy with all my heart but I do feel bad for him too. his barely faltering :) look while all his asshole relatives gang up on him sdfhskahf

- again the jin are dicks but when it comes to aesthetics they do go off, that’s such a beautiful shade of blue

- dsflhsdakjlfhsdakjfl sd this shot of lwj and nmj right before lxc drinks is the funniest framing imaginable b/c lwj is wearing a look of complete stonefaced

-___________-

and meanwhile nmj, who presumably has seen lxc drunk before since they’re longstanding bros, looks worried as fUCK

- awwwww I do love nhs capitalizing all of jc’s attention so the others won’t start shit with him/so he won’t get to say something publicly he’ll regret later because he’s (understandably honestly) mad at his brother for making his life even more difficult than it has to be (I have every sympathy with wwx but buddy... buddy must you make everything more complicated for your bro every darn time this is a real delicate political situation and he’s not suited for that even without your antics)

it’s a very nhs move because he comes across as slightly boorish and rude and thus leaves jc blameless and thus protected, you can get so far if you have no self respect lol

- showing us exactly how wen ning died is honestly a little too mean this is not fun

- good god this poor grandma has been through the wringer hasn’t she

- oh. oh wen ning, who never meant hurt anyone in his entire life :(

- listen okay the end is in sight just a couple more horrific tragedies to get through and then it’s the weird romantic comedy buddy cop antics of the current day timeline to ride to the end

- it cannot be overemphasized how much this lan zhan is Baby, I so desperately want to help and protect him

- I’m going to stop shouting out individual actors on this show they’re all goddamn brilliant haha (but am I tho)

- most valid person in the cultivation world mianmian

also enjoying the exemplification of nmj’s character that is ‘not sure how I feel about this dumb kid with the big mouth digging his own grave ever deeper but that girl’s got guts and I respect that’

- wen quing is getting a taste of the dangers and pitfalls of having wwx as a little brother dfhskdalfhsdaklj she and jyl should compare notes (he’s so good tho T-----T)

- how does wwx’s actor have such natural dad energy at such a young age, too powerful

- people give so little thought to how fucked up jc’s situation really is here, like he’s just being an asshole for the sake of it. spend three fucking seconds looking at it with some realpolitik in mind and realize that the clans around him have just shown that they can and will wipe out an enemy clan together if need be, and that his own sect hasn’t even gotten back on its feet after the war that almost wiped it out. like wwx is unquestionably morally right but has gone about it in such a way that it’s real fucking hard to support him without going down with him and how do you calculate that risk when you’re responsible for so many more lives than your own

also so sad about jc being so afraid this entire time that wwx would leave him like everyone else... and now he has :( jc doesn’t handle it well but then who would at this stage

- there is something so pure about a quietly horrified lan zhan getting Dad Advice from these guys (well he’s going to be needing it soon enough so)

oh the utter softness of his face looking at wwx and ah yuan ;_______; thank god, some fluff to bolster my heart before we set off into the last harrowing ordeal here

LAN ZHAN’S ENTIRE FACE LIGHTING UP AT WEI YING ASKING HIM OUT thank fuck there’s still some joy left in the universe

this poor love struck man, someone help him

lan zhan conscientiously grabbing ah yuan’s toys is fskhdfksjdlfhskjdhf

- lan zhan looking around the demon subduing cave: babe I love you more than life itself but this is tacky as hell

- crying because wen niiiiiing

- crying because sibliiiiiings

okay this is the last time the three of them will be together and nominally happy, need to appreciate it through my tears

- actually I take it back please just let the bad thing happen now so I don’t have to live in suspense anymore lol (...this probably says a lot more about me as a person than I’m strictly comfortable with)

- the fact that none of wwx’s little adopted wen family are AT ALL intimidated by him anymore is just... it’s too much to bear

again tho this book/show is so willing to let you dwell in the emotional stages of things in a very fanfic sort of way, I think it’s what makes the sad parts so much worse (and makes you feel so incredibly attached to these characters)

- I gUESS it’s a testament to jin zixuan’s character that he has any decency at all, considering who his dad is and where he was raised

I’m cracking up at their dad being the one who still doesn’t trust jgy tho lol snake recognizes snake

- jgy’s faint look of ‘are you fucking kIdDiNg me rn’ whenever all these jin douchebags talk is very entertaining. if he didn’t go on to do all that murder and incest and (probably) infanticide I’d sort of cheer for him no matter what kind of sociopath he is

- not to be a downer or anything but isn’t one month a little premature to be celebrating the survival of a baby in fantasy old timey china tho

sometimes I feel like looking back at history is just seeing a whole lot of dead children (and this is why I think that even if god did exist it would be morally inconceivable to worship him! sorry just a quick detour into my personal grudge against the inherent cruelty of the world there, let’s move on)

- it’s uncomfortable to watch even the outlines of the jin sect’s slow insidious stranglehold on power. even these random shopgoing nobodies know that nmj is Not Happy about these watchtowers and that it’s probably going to happen anyway. the jin are snakes but at least they’re clever about it and I do kind of respect that

- oh everything’s about to go so wrong I hate it

NOOOOO don’t make the zombie baby fight, nothing good will come of this

- man this is hitting me worse than lotus pier actually I’m just... crying haha

it’s almost cathartic tho... there’s something about wen quing’s dignity and certainty that really helps? I just really wish they hadn’t brought the whole little group, god I want them to be okay so badly and ah yuan will be all that’s left and. and just throw me into the ocean and let me sink tbh

- I know this is all so much black cgi smoke (pls let us see the red version again at some point btw that was cool as shit) but the emotional metaphor of wwx that you can’t take on more and more of other people’s suffering and trauma and not care for yourself because you will lose control of that at some point is just. very nicely done. (he’s a bit of an odd serial codependent for a lot of the story, isn’t he. thank god lan zhan is not a quitter)

- jin zixuan’s mom is breaking my heart a little here. this lady has been married to THAT GUY all this time and now this as well. sorry lady, I guess jgy probably Took Care Of You at some stage after this

- a) this is just real good acting for wwx. this is the perfect level of unhinged for this, even though I’m always like ‘just. just shut your mouth for one time in your life and stop digging this grave any deeper six feet should be enough for anyone huh’ at this stage of the story and b) I am cackling inappropriately at the shot-reverse-shots between wwx, jiang cheng and jgy. jiang cheng looks like everything he ever loved is falling apart around him and jgy is like ‘oh wow I didn’t even have to provide him any rope he’s doing an excellent job at hanging himself without me’

I love wwx so much but it did take him an unconscionable length of time to realize that when you set big enough things into motion you will not be able to control who it crushes along the way or who might steer it in the wrong direction. other people exist and have agency and a lot of those people are bad honey :(

- ah yes lwj being stopped by a barrier made of the physical manifestation of wwx’s trauma when he tries to reach him :’) this is okay and cool and fine

- it’s admirably obtuse of everyone to look at wwx at this stage and still think he’s in control of uh anything lol

- oh okay that went better than expected I don’t know if I’m just inured to sadness at this point

jiang cheng looking like a little boy clutching his big sister’s body is tugging at my heartstrings a bit tho

- ooooh this battle hardened intense lwj!!! I guess I can sort of see it now

- oh lan zhan 2, electric boogaloo

- finally! time for some comfort up in this hurt

- my man nmj still so fucking angry in the afterlife that anything even remotely connected to him is shaking with rage in sympathy in the real world. a mood

- fdsahfsjdklfhsdajk wwx being like ‘I can take everyone saying I was evil but how DARE you not mention I was also a snacc’

- when do you think nie huaisang really realized that his brother wouldn’t have children and that he was up for the sect leader seat next? nie mingjue seems to have known pretty far in advance himself and tried to prepare his brother accordingly, but that kid really didn’t want the job so I imagine he’d try to live in denial as long as possible

vaguely related: no other family is ever mentioned by either brother or anyone else, and nie huaisang straight out says that he is the only main disciple (I seem to remember and with the caveat that I might have misunderstood the translation) when there’s the talk of them being sent to the wen as hostages -- I suppose you sort of have to be very selective when your ancestral cultivation method is sketchy enough that you should keep that shit on the down low and you know people die young from it. so I think it’s possible if not probable that huaisang is the last of his family. isn’t that a fun little thing to think about? haha. ha. help me

- this random street vendor is an unexpected strong comedy performance, every face he makes is pure gold

- fkshafkjsdhfasd best introduction of adult nhs

- the quiet luminous love on lwj’s face whenever he looks at wwx in the present... give this man all the awards. it’s nice that wwx gets to be scared and childish and vulnerable with someone who loves him no matter what too, he’s been through some shit

- oh okay I see so the reason they chose to make fatal journey the way they did was because they already had the set built

- *nhs dropping one set of robes like that one gif from anastasia to reveal another even more luxuriously dandy-ish set under it* oh wow what a surprise to see you two down here, coincidences amirite (anyway here’s the testament to all the sins of my ancestors & a trail of breadcrumbs to lead you to the murderer of my brother)

no wait that’s slightly later isn’t it. well the point still stands

- dead!nmj is truly a mood -- “I don’t know where I am, who I am or what the fuck just happened but I do know that I am PISSED OFF”

(actually in the book I found that almost comforting -- at least the dude got to spend his afterlife doing what he loved (i.e. being angry), but this more nuanced and sympathetic version being trapped like that just. makes me very very sad)

nice of him to stick around to play a few rounds of hot or cold with his little bro’s friends tho lol. I mean from what I understand of this take on canon it’s actually the spirit of his sword and not him in person? but close enough, let me keep him as long as I can okay

- jin ling getting his dumb ass cask of amontillado’d within ten minutes of entering the tomb smh

look at your ROBES young man what is your (other) uncle going to say??

- hAH what did I say. pedagogic mastermind jiang cheng at it again

enjoying the fact that they chose the floofiest most benign-looking of dogs to play this ~*terrifying hound*~ so much

I have a lot of sympathy for jiang cheng, and the actor is doing a good job at aging him up here (not as good as lwj’s but then you can’t beat perfection). the way he’s calcified into bitterness and anger b/c he can’t express his emotions in a healthy nuanced way feels very... real I guess, people get like that sometimes

- I am somehow really endeared to this version of jin ling. a dumb baby, but a baby

- poor lan zhan lol “I LEFT YOU ON YOUR OWN FOR TWO HOURS AND YOU ALREADY MANAGED TO TAKE ON SOMEONE ELSE’S CURSE??? BABE!!!!!!!”

he consistently uses jiang cheng’s personal name too huh. well it is his brother in law I guess ETA: actually I’m an idiot ignore/forgive me, that’s jiang cheng’s courtesy name isn’t it. lan wangji is being salty/maybe-deliberately-maybe-not-(but-definitely-tho) distant/polite with him I think

- y’know... as I watch lwj carry the love of his life around on his back with all the tenderness in the world and I see people in the comments yell about why do you always need everything to be gay they’re just good friends you’re all crazy... I realize all over again that there really is no level of queerness they’ll ever find legitimate or acceptable. which like. feels bad, but there’s also the freedom in remembering they are always going to be assholes no matter what I do, there’s literally no need to listen to them at any time.

- I am CRACKING UP; watching this episode right after seeing fatal journey sure is a treat hahaha. nhs really must enjoy the acting on a deep level because he is hamming it up and I am living for it

“It’s nothing at all like unorthodox demonic cultivation methods!” he protests with his big innocent doe eyes, having yelled the exact same accusation at his brother within ten seconds of finding out about it dsfdskjha

- awww that’s such a sweet way of telling nhs who he is while both of them still get plausible deniability :’)

this show is making it a LOT easier to figure out nhs’ deal earlier just through visual storytelling and his reactions when lwj and wwx aren’t looking, but I guess you sort of have to do that without the benefits of selective POVs that you can do in written stories

- lan zhan’s little smirks are such a blessing

- can we talk about how INCREDIBLY rude lwj and wwx are being barging into other people’s ancestral tombs like they own the place. I know I said break some rules lan zhan but there’s such a thing as common decency too at least wipe your feet at the entrance or something

stop being big bullies!!! (nhs actually sounds a little salty at how debonair they are being lol he’s like yeah you’re doing what I want you to but you don’t have to be such dicks about it)

- nooooooo nmj don’t die ur so sexy ahaha (I jest so I do not cry godddddd my heart big brother come baaaaaaack)

I’m honestly finding it very hard to live with knowing that the last thing nmj saw in life was jgy having his little brother in his clutches D:D:D: looking at it like that... of course he came back mad as fuck, I’d probably do the same thing

- boys boys I love and support you but could you maybe not stand around talking about how this was totally a horrific murder like the murderee’s little brother isn’t standing right there?? i mean it’s useful for him but it’s kind of mean of you, I know neither of you were raised in a barn

okay there’s wwx irrepressible protective instinct that’s better. I just... nhs standing there looking small and sad and soft and lonely isn’t the whole truth but it is part of the whole truth, it’s nice to see wwx being like this even after all those years. (the physical closeness in their friendship in their youth in this version is so gooood. outside of wwx the only two people we see nhs consistently allow close or seek out closeness from is his brother and MENG YAO, who can frankly burn in hell even more than usual for the flute thing in fatal journey.)

- lan zhan contemplating the inherent impermanence of everything good in the world and then immediately getting blackout drunk -- MOOD. also I have never seen a scene where someone so obviously was about to press a soft kiss to someone’s forehead or cheek, don’t worry wwx I see you through the censorship lol

(it’s incredible how well they’ve adapted the love story considering the fact that they technically uh can’t)

- wen ning: shambles, zombie-like and disheveled with horror movie monster eyes, into frame

all of us: omg a BABY ToT

- live action drunk lan zhan is living up to the hype I am d y i n g

this poor repressed man

fjskdfsdkjhf he could do sword fighting in his damn sleep probably

I will say that leaving ‘wei wuxian was also here’ is going to scare the crap out of these poor people whose only crime was keeping well fed chickens

- they r so in love someone hold me

- this nmj!kid I am LOSING IT, this is so cute I want to lie face down on the floor and cry

- the yi city arc is my least favourite part of this story, so I’m fortifying myself to get through a couple of hours of sexy baby xue yang here

- Dad/troll teacher!wwx is in fact everything

- oooh wwx has the same weird crooked fingers as me when they’re extended! just some small Facts About Your Friendly Neighbourhood Blogger there

- this is not at all a bad take on ah quing! she qte

- ‘what’s your husband look like?’ song lan, crying: beautiful

- xxc you didn’t think it was a little weird the dude wouldn’t tell you his name -- even a name -- all this time. honestly

I know you’re in a bad place and this is sort of a rebound thing from your actual true love but stop letting him gaslight you like this buddy :(

- time for some MASSIVELY FORESHADOWING PARALLELS my friends

- I don’t know if I’m just a heartless monster but I honestly don’t care that much about anyone but ah quing in this little sideplot lol (probably my complete disinterest in xue yang tainting everything else)

- xue yang and jgy: the ‘sad backstory dude still inexplicably extra mass murder’ club

- godddd I’m so bored I’ve listened to this guy cackle ~*madly and evilly*~ for three episodes now when will it fucking end

- lan jingjy you are VALID

- fhsdkfhsdkj can’t get over baxia being like ‘OI you two stop gazing soulfully into each other’s eyes for five seconds and get on with avenging me’

must be annoying spending your afterlife in a pouch third wheeling the two most obnoxiously in love people in the world, I think this spirit sword is being admirably restrained and patient all things considered

- big brother I am so sorry you had to hang out under there all this time while this boring bullshit plot happened above you ;________________________;

I’m actually not clear on what the nie sect does with the bodies of the dead -- the saber tomb seems to be exclusively for the weapons/we see that some of the cultivators will go down there while they’re still alive to sacrifice themselves... maybe they go in the walls? I guess nhs is breaking tradition in a lot of ways tho so who knows!

- ‘from what I’ve seen he’s not so bad’ wei ying he smilingly asked you to use POWs for target practice I’ll allow lxc to be this dumb but you really have no excuse

- this duckling in red is a gentleman and a bro, one to watch

- wwx seductively arranging himself in the open window to cover his panic fsdkjfhsda

- lot’s wife WISHES she had the level of salt jiang cheng does

- ‘if they ask me any weird questions I don’t know the answers to I’ll have to pretend to be a total psycho’

lan zhan, dragging his husband with one deadpan face: I’m sure that is going to be a huge feat of acting for you babe

- NIE HUAISANG FALLING INTO FRAME AND LAUNCHING HIMSELF FROM ONE PERSON TO ANOTHER LIKE A GORMLESS WET RAG, I STAN ONE (1) BOY

‘but new problems appeared’ how is he such a mood

again tho you can give your unknowing accomplices so much space to investigate if you just don’t bother with self respect or dignity at any stage of the journey lol

- fjshdfkjlsahd that beat of lan zhan clearly taking a moment to contemplate the idea of wei ying confessing his love naked in public there

- uncle and nephew bonding time T________________T

- fsakfhsadkjlfhsad I can’t deal with this mission impossible ass music in the background as a little paper gingerbread man scoots around the palace

whoever animated this was clearly having a lot of fun, I love the little details like his dangling legs and him rubbing his lil paper bum after landing

- poor qin su, one of the most screwed over people in this whole show. at least in the book he didn’t mean to

- ah su, you’re being very unreasonable about this, what is a little incest between friends

- straight culture is this being chill to keep in the adaptation but god forbid anyone got a loving queer kiss at any point (not blaming the showrunners at all, they’re clearly stretching the limits as far as they will go and maybe a bit more at a few points)

- YES SISTER CALL HIM THE FUCK OUT I always felt like she’s known something was a little off for a long time but never could put her finger on what exactly

- ‘can you still not let me go’ hey jgy you piece of shit who’s keeping whose head in a weird serial killer cabinet here

- THANK YOU FOR BRINGING HIS HANDSOME ALIVE FACE BACK TO MY SCREEN IF ONLY TO MAKE ME SAD

- he’s so beautiful and righteous and strong 😭😭😭😭 dage come back to us

(makes even more sense that he’s so pissed off about what jgy did if he’s already shown clearly that he’ll shut down the people fucking with him if it’s brought to his attention. he gave you every opportunity you little oh-it’s-never-really-my-fault worm of a man)

- another nmj about to cry warning needed here help me

dON’T FUCKING TOUCH HIM YOU SLIMY FSKJLDHFKSJDHFSKDJLHF

the nie traits are undying loyalty, rage, and the intergenerational trauma of watching your parental figures succumb to death and madness through the same cultivation path you practice

- my cause of death: nmj’s eyes shining with unshed tears

this version has that edge of vulnerability to him, you suddenly do realize he was once just a kid watching his dad die a horrifying death and then having to take on all that responsibility and raising his brother

nie boys unfailingly devoted to the people under their protection I’m gonna go bury myself under a tree or something

- I’ve had to turn the volume down so I can barely hear anything b/c my emotions are too big to for my dumb body to contain already I can’t listen to this

- extremely sad but also a little funny that part of the reason nmj died was that he had no interest whatsoever in the arts. ‘music is music right?’ says local jock

- I’ve just been whimpering the last twenty minutes this is awful

- huaisang’s voice breaking on ‘big brother, it’s me’... sdlakhgsdjklfhsadjkghsdkjlfhdskljhgsdalkhgsdklgjhsdjklhgkdjslhgjskd I’m going to the bottom of the mariana trench and I’m staying there goodbye

- I can’t wait to watch nie huaisang end this putrid trash man’s whole career in the most devastating way possible tbh

- I’m just so SAD T______________________________T I hate jgy so much my heart burns with it I’m so glad he’s about to get some dramatic irony shoved up his -- but I digress

- haha poor jin ling standing there watching all this messed up shit like ‘O.O thanks i’m nine’

- I wish I was as good at passing the fuck out on command as nhs, I feel like it would solve a lot of my problems

- just some low key soulmate shit no biggie

- wwx is basically fantasy old timey naked again here the SCANDAL except no scandal they’re clearly married

- wwx is being so much more patient with lxc than I would have found it in my heart to be at this stage. he’s like ‘lxc you are my brother in law and I truly appreciate you and everything you’ve done for me but it’s sadly up to me to gently confront you with all the ways you’ve been a dumb ho just b/c you think jgy has pretty dimples 😔’

- “You’re not qualified to talk to me” oh lwj I love you so much. I thought committing murder was forbidden by the lan sect rules but there you go

- it honestly baffles me that some people think nmj would be the strictest parental figure in this universe when a) everything about huaisang suggests otherwise and b) lan qiren is right there

madam yu has that ‘super unforgiving to her son’s face but will also tear anyone criticizing him a new one’ mixed energy too

- lqr: I raised a perfect obedient righteous cultivator

me & wei ying: you’ve ruined a perfectly good boy is what you did look at him he’s too repressed to breathe

- well their dad clearly paid enough attention to worldly matters that two kids resulted from it, I’m not quite sure where we’re going with this lxc

one’s an accident two’s a pattern etc.

- wow I was so confused about ‘confidante’ being used here b/c it makes absolutely no sense in context, and the comments helpfully informed me that it’s more accurately translated to ‘soulmate’ or something like that; that does make a whole lot more sense yeah

- bb!lan zhan kneeling in the snow is more than anyone’s supposed to have to live with tbh

- lxc being like ‘so yeah my brother will keep loving people long after they’re gone and unable to give him love back! just a fun fact there, something to think about anyway here’s wonderwall’

- soft, ever-so-slightly messy haired at home lan zhan deserves the world

- oh wwx’s shift away from thinking the truth doesn’t matter at all to realizing the truth of you being held fully and with love by one person in your life is enough as lwj plays their song ;______________________________; this is almost more romantic than a kiss scene would be honestly jesus christ

- little apple is the best of us tbh

- apologies but they have 100% started to fuck off-screen at this stage, the looks wei ying is giving him dsafasdfhsjkd

- I take it back mianmian and little apple are the best of us

- imagine just finding the light bearing lord, second peerless jade of lan in his immaculate white clothes, peeking out from between your hay bales one day

- the exponential increase in lan zhan’s blessed little smiles lately: my oh-they-fawking thesis is validated yet again

- wei ying lying through his teeth: of course I remembered your face at once who do you take me for

(lan zhan: smirks in quiet satisfaction)

- walejhgskdjhgsjdaklfhsadjkflafhsjakdsf wen ning is so cute I don’t know what to do with myself

- wei ying this is where you first asked him out of course he remembers

- lan zhan is like ‘oh shit I forgot to tell him about our son and at this point I’m kind of embarrassed to bring it up’

- I am NOT thinking about the lotus pond they made for him here, you can’t make me

- ‘the worst time in their lives’ yeah, but there was such love there too. it h u r t s

- the actor for wen ning is so good at making his expressions look deeply earnest but also a little uncanny, like moving his face doesn’t come naturally to him anymore but his Good Boyness shines through

- DRAGGED in public by his own son. rip wwx he had a good run of it before his untimely murder

- wow thank goodness sect leader yao survived all this time, his death would as we all know have been a huge loss to society as a whole

- “I’m just here to round up the numbers” I love him more than I can convey to you in words

I’m a simple person, I hear nhs’ chronically befuddled voice and a burst of pure joy is released in my heart

sdfhjksadhfsad his soft little 😕 face peeking out from behind people’s shoulders fkjsdhfsdjal

- will I ever get enough of nhs masterfully manipulating a situation through his own apparent cowardliness and uselessness? no is the answer to that it’s always entrancing to watch

nhs as a teacher, nodding sagely as his disciples exchange glances: it’s never too late to go home instead of going big. saying ‘fuck this i’m outta here’ is always an option

- also nhs seemingly doesn’t use a saber at all anymore, where he at least used to have one back in fatal journey times. I’m very happy he’s trying some new things, time to break that very sad traumatic chain of dying young and furious

also him getting someone else to do the work of fixing the ward or whatever fskdfhaskdlf

teacher nhs, waving his pupils away b/c he’s busy painting or something: class dismissed. and remember, if at all possible, get someone else to do your homework for you. as long as you don’t get caught that’s an automatic A

- wwx is literally the cat surrounded by knives meme here lol

- lol lol lol wwx just removed his outer tunic thing to reveal lan zhan’s undershirt still under there and you can see lan qiren silently seethe with ‘that little hussy has seduced my nephew away from the righteous path’

(do I personally believe in slut shaming of any kind? nah it’s dumb as fuck. do I think lqr does? yeah)

- hahaha I can’t tell if nhs’ slightly glazed look here is b/c wwx did something he didn’t plan for him to do or if it’s because he’s for all intents and purposes half naked in front of them. (tbh I think there’s a case to be made in this version that he has a sort of wistful would-never-act-on-it-for-a-million-different-reasons-lan-zhan’s-furious-jealous-stare-being-foremost-of-them crush on both wwx and lwj from back when they were teens)

- WOW all these dicks inviting themselves to lotus pier!!! r u d e

- lan zhan flexing on lan qiren by raising a happy well adjusted child even while he’s mourning the love of his life: what like it’s hard

- wen ning kept that toy for sixteen goddamn years don’t touch me

- I’m crying about jin ling give me a moment. he is baby okay he’s even younger than ah yuan by at least four years

the image of him hugging the only thing he’s got left of his dad... fsdalkfhasdjlkfhsjdakhfsjdk

- lan sizhui has a crowd of good uncles/dads and poor jin ling has a crowd of utter disaster uncles and it’s very unfortunate (yes wwx is on both of those lists)

it is very sweet that it’s jiang cheng who consistently actually looks out for him, even in his feelings-wtf-are-feelings sort of way. the least disaster uncle, but only by comparison lol

- I think this ouyang kid might be duckling in red from before? LOVING the interspersed nhs reaction shots to him, anyway fsakdfh (I’m going to make it sad: how many conversations like this do you think he had with his brother as a kid? that’s fine we can both cry now I don’t want to be alone in this)

- ‘mr ning’ im Y___________________________________Y

- extremely Here for yet another full costume change from nhs hahaha (he’s changed at the boat already, god knows how he pulled that off but I’d expect no less from him)

- nhs must have been a sect leader for at least a decade at this point, and he still manages to exude such a powerful ‘kid at the adult’s table’ aura. incredible. mindblowing, inspirational

- ...oh they went with the same version of the previous jin leader’s death huh (but GOD FORBID that anyone should be openly gay amirite lol) O___O again though WHY is jin ling here, jiang cheng??????? he’s like sixteen, he’s never going to dare to even kiss anyone after this

- nhs has the look of a man who’s had to sit on this disgusting knowledge alone for years and finally gets to share that icky burden around, merry christmas everyone if I have to know about this so do you

- I don’t know if this is just me imagining things or reading more into it than what’s there, but I think nhs is actually sitting in the same pose his brother used to a lot in this part of the scene (the upright posture with palms resting at the top of the thighs/hips, fingers turned inwards/towards each other; it looks sort of... solid and self-contained, I guess)

- I would call jgy knowingly committing the incest character assassination if he’d had enough character to assassinate even in the book, I would never have put it past him

- y’know... god knows nmj had flaws (I think my immense depth of love for him in this version comes precisely from how hard he tries even while being deeply flawed. him dumb but him always trying :’) well actually he’s not dumb at all, he’s shown to be pretty darn politically savvy, I’m just having a hard time finding the right word here. ‘inflexible’ is maybe closer ), but the big defining difference between him and jin guangyao (and consequently xue yang) is that both of the latter are completely open about the fact that they see themselves as more important than anyone else -- xue yang considers one of his fingers worth more than fifty people’s lives, jgy kills twenty sex workers as a mere afterthought to his own revenge on his father. meanwhile nmj gets Messed Up by people dying under his protection to the degree that he came up with one of the dumbest plans I’ve ever heard just so he’d be the only one at risk, just so no one else would get hurt anymore. hmnghsjhfs.

- wen ning, proudly: my sister was the best doctor in the world

me, openly crying: she sure was buddy

- wwx: hey lan zhan are there any sweet patient lan ladies with an open mind around

lwj: ...why

wwx: I just think our zombie son should start thinking about getting friends, maybe even a real home

lwj, subtly relieved: oh

- JIN LING BABY BOY NOOOO D:D:D:

- nhs I need you to come in and end this man I cannot look at his awful face anymore

- ugh this garrotte sound effect is really unpleasant actually well done

- THERE HE IS!!! conveniently swooning his way into the scene again, my guy ;_______; smol and soft-looking and about to utterly obliterate a man on every conceivable level

I love every moment of the camera dwelling meaningfully on his innocent vulnerable face, this is going to be so great

it’s too bad he’s a behind the curtain sort of dude, I would kill for a poirot-style ‘I’m sure you’re all wondering why I’ve gathered you here in the library’ moment here lol

- tbh jiang cheng’s got a point about that whole ‘making huge sweeping decisions about someone else’s life and never telling them about it’ thing

wwx has sort of structured himself as a person so that you’ll never be allowed to really reciprocate his dedication and sacrifices (unless you’re lz lol), and while that is a very sympathetic trauma reaction essentially it is sort of a dick move interpersonally.

- the weight and wisdom that comes along with the scars of older wwx... you love to see it

- nhs, with effortless grace, rousing from his disney princess slumber just as the real drama’s about to begin... your honor he is simply the best

- T__________________________________________________________T big brother

- the tinge of coldness in nhs’ eyes while he watches jgy through this whole scene even as he keeps up the ‘im baby don’t worry about me’ act.............. fashdfjlksdahfslkadj, not to say askfksjhafkjsldhfkjsalhfksjaldhfkls

- to say that jgy has perhaps ‘gone overboard with this’ might be the biggest understatement of any century lxc

- watching him kneel by his brother’s coffin here I’d like to propose that Nie Huaisang has exactly the same capacity for all-consuming rage as the rest of his family, except he can’t just vent it by hitting something real hard with a haunted murder saber so he has to get creative and that was real unfortunate for Jin Guangyao

- one thing that’s always tickled me is that nhs did give jgy the choice. the people around him -- the people he claims to love -- could have been left out of it, no dishonor being brought to either his name or any of theirs... if he’d been willing to sacrifice himself. (probably a gambit where he knew that was never going to happen, but still!)

- nhs standing there in the background like ‘yeah yeah we all have horrifying family legacies buddy, we just don’t knowingly marry our sisters or arrange for mass murders over it’

- arguably killing the previous jin leader could actually count as a good deed if not for the horrifying way he did it lol. jgy all over, he could have done something helpful, *john mulaney voice* and then he didn’t he just killed nineteen innocent women while he was on a roll instead

- while it’s sort of bullshit that some responsibility is taken away from wwx in jin zixuan’s death here it’s also making a bit more sense to me like this -- seems like an uncharacteristic gamble from jgy to just idk hope wwx would lose control at exactly the right/wrong moment. wwx is still at fault for how casually he treated wen ning as a weapon when he didn’t know what the consequences could be, I’m okay with this

- jin ling and the terrible horrible no good very bad week :( protect him

wow lan xicheng let’s stand around some more letting this awful excuse for a person tell this sixteen year old boy that his parents deserved to be murdered basically, I’m sure there’s a lot more fruitful discussion still left to be had here

- talk shit about nie mingjue’s brother get hit su she hell YEAHHHHHH

big brother still looking out for him I’m fsdklfhajsdlhf 😭😭😭

- I’M SO FULL OF FEELINGS ;________________________________; at least in this version the implication feels more like he’s finally at peace? (hilariously wwx managed to purge/cleanse the saber spirit, which is the entire conflict of fatal journey haha, nhs really did get his best friend to do his homework for him yet again, INSPIRATIONAL)

- HELL YEAH FINALLY GET REKT YOU PIECE OF SHIT! PRESS F TO PAY RESPECT EXCEPT JOKE’S ON YOU I’VE GOT NO RESPECT TO PAY

They did do away with any and all ambiguity around nhs here and I’m totally cool with it, that was awesome

- I’m playing the world’s tiniest little violin right now, wow much sad fuck you and your dumb hat

- may I just say that the fact that jgy uses his last moments on earth to make lxc, a person he proclaims to love, feel as bad as possible about his now inevitable death even though it clearly wasn’t really his fault... is just proof that he has never actually loved anyone at all except possibly himself

contrast with wwx, who tells jc that he’s sorry, dries his tears in the here and now and says to let the past go because there’s nothing either of them can do about it now and there’s no point in hurting themselves over it again and again anymore. jgy has the opportunity to give a similar kindness here and instead twists and twists the knife, so lxc will be in as much pain as possible when he’s gone. he’d rather be kept alive in lxc’s suffering than let him, someone he ‘loves’, ever heal and be happy. anyway I hope hell is real shitty for you jgy

- jgy you absolute piece of shit you couldn’t let my man have TEN FUCKING MINUTES to nap in peace? after sixteen years of your fuckery? urgh bye

- nhs looking at lxc sadly when lxc can’t see him... one last ‘I don’t know’ finally closing out his arc... I love all of this so much, there’s such a nuance of... he is genuinely a bit sad about causing lxc pain but he also doesn’t regret what he did At All. (I guess most of what he’s done must be pretty easy to rationalize/justify to himself, since the vast majority of his work went into finding the horrible shit jgy has done and showing them the way home to roost, rather than creating fresh suffering from scratch. and then there’s also the whole mo family but uh well eggs omelettes amirite lol)

- lan qiren telling people not to run or talk loudly b/c they’re at a temple, even under these circumstances fhakjsldfhkjsdafhkjsaldhf

- god the casting people for this show have a perfect track record of finding heartwrenchingly cute kids my GOD

- jfdsafhaskdjfh I love how they’ve done the moment with the hat -- the way the flashback sort of indicates that nhs does recognize on a deep level that the dude he just killed was someone’s son, was after all once an innocent child, like anyone... and again, it doesn’t make him regret it. he looks tired and sort of empty, but not like he’d take any of it back. he’s seen jgy for all that he was, good and bad, and made his decision. his reaction to seeing his hands ever so slightly stained with blood is mostly ‘...eh sure’ (and he knows none of this will ever bring his brother back and I am HURTING) . just. I love him so much what an interesting character

- lan zhan raised a child who can talk about his feelings, unprecedented & wondrous

who’s chopping onions in here

- never getting over ah yuan being the best person in the world at roasting his dad

- okay okay okay I’m going to have some incoherent feelings here -- the expression on nhs’ face right after wwx asks him if he intends to be chief cultivator is just... hm. how do I describe this. it looks almost like he’s thinking ‘oh yeah I forgot you don’t actually know me anymore (yeah okay that’s my bad)’? the previous scene is about lwj and wwx, The symbolic representation of true love in this world, naming each other/knowing each other for exactly who and what they are. that’s the thematic victory in this story; to be truly known, accepted and loved for the entirety of who you are, if only by one person in your whole life. (notably all sorts of love, parental, familial, platonic etc., not just romantic/sexual) and to get his victory, nhs has had to completely forsake that because his whole plan hinged on it; he hasn’t been emotionally honest with anyone for well over a decade at this point. no one really knows or understands him, and if someone ever did he’s long dead now and never coming back. and in this one moment both wwx and nhs seem to come to the quiet understanding that neither of them are who they used to be as kids and it’ll never be like it used to be again, and reach a sort of live-and-let-live truce about it. d u d e this goddamn story

(after all part of the reason jgy is so incredibly terrified of nmj is that he’s the first person to see straight through his bullshit to who he is behind it, and that it’s u g l y back there. jgy + nmj = being known without being accepted or loved (b/c honestly he doesn’t deserve to be loved or accepted yeah there we go I said it), jgy + lxc = being accepted and loved without being known, which turns into disaster all around.)

- man this was actually a really solid adaptation, it was excellently done! they did rush a bit towards the end there (it was never explained why jgy didn’t kill sissi along with all the other sex workers in this version, for example, leaving a rather substantial plot hole, and they never reveal why exactly lan zhan had to take over as sect leader which breaks off lxc’s arc at the end), but all in all that was wonderful and even added some stuff I liked better than in the book! now please god never let mtxt write a sequel, just let them be in this happily ever after, all of them have been through enough ;________;

- also the music was truly epic! I don’t even begrudge them using some parts more often and blatantly than what’s probably necessary, I want to wallow in this love theme as much as the next person lol

- what am I going to do with hours upon hours of my life now? I don’t know either, I suppose I will just have to find some way to hobble on

#the untamed #mo dao zu shi #wangxian #nie brothers #(b/c predictably that's what most of my feelings boil down to lol)#meta #I think I might have outdone myself with this; this is a new height of aimless unproductive nonsense even for me lol #I did this instead of working on the edit of the fic I've got nearly finished because... I don't know either guys I just don't know

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heyyyharry · 5 years

Text

Chapter 4: False Alarm

(from the Flatmate Trilogy: Two Hearts, One Home)

…in which their cat’s gone missing and Y/N doesn’t know what to do.

Word count: 3.7k

Chapter 3: Handcuffs - Niall can only think of one way to solve his best friends’ conflict.

Wattpad link

A/N: For those who did not know, I went through a terrible week and couldn't write, so I had to postpone this update until Sunday. This chapter is shorter than the previous ones, but the next will be as long as usual. Thank you for reading! Love, Allie. (Btw, who loves Breakfast At Tiffany’s and Audrey Hepburn?)

“No, no, no, this is not happening to me!”

When Layla heard Y/N’s scream, she was in the living room watching Breakfast At Tiffany’s. Normally she would just shrug it off because it could be another cockroach in the tub. But as Y/N shouted out her name specifically, she had no choice but to click pause and go see what it was.

Her best friend was sitting on the bedroom floor, back pressed against the closet. Once she spotted Layla, she rose immediately to show her the phone. “I missed my period,” she cried out, looking utterly distraught. “I haven’t checked the app in so long and just now realized I’m two weeks late. I can’t even remember the last time I was late!”

“Okay, calm down.” Layla raised her hands, taking a deep breath. “As far as I know, stress can cause irregular and missed periods, and you’ve been working your ass off lately. No wonder.”

“But I threw up yesterday and this morning too.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying that...” Y/N paused, shutting her eyes as if she was afraid if she said it, it would come true. But she couldn’t avoid the thought forever, she had to tell somebody. “I think I’m pregnant.”

“Don’t joke like that.” Layla snorted, but Y/N was quick to seize her arm.

“Harry and I had sex without a condom on our honeymoon once and I forgot that I wasn’t on the pills!” The girl said in one single breath, but Layla could hear every word loud and clear. Her eyes bulged out as her jaw dropped. She took a few seconds to figure out how to react to this news.

“How could you fucking forget, dumbass?!” She raised her voice, smacking her best friend on the arm. Y/N jumped away, rubbing the sore spot as she pouted. “We were on the beach and...and there were stars and...it was very romantic and—”

Layla cut her off by putting up one hand. “Spare me the details, please. I’ve seen enough in the last five years, I’m surprised I’m not traumatized yet.”

Y/N huffed and ignored that joke as she went on, “but the point is, I already took the emergency pill in the morning!”

“Those pills don’t always work you know.”

“I know, I just...don’t know what to do now?” The distressed girl collapsed onto her bed, her face was pallid, and her heart was pounding so hard that her chest might explode. “I can’t...I can’t get pregnant now. My husband is drowning under a pile of work, and I just got promoted.”

Standing with her back against the closet, Layla glanced up at the ceiling. She thought for two seconds and looked back to Y/N. “Have you taken a test?”

Y/N propped herself up on her elbows, frowning as she mumbled, “n-no.”

With no hesitation, Layla jumped right at her and dragged her straight towards the bathroom door. “Do you have one of those pregnancy sticks?” Y/N nodded, her mouth turned into a frown. “Good. Now get your ass in there and pee on it, then we’ll figure out what to do next.”

“But what if I’m really pregnant?”

“Just fucking get in there!” Layla grumbled as she pushed her best friend into the room and shut the door. The problem was temporarily solved. Now it was time to go back to her favorite movie.

Every one of Layla's friends knew how obsessed she was with Breakfast At Tiffany’s. She couldn’t recall how many times she’d watched that film and fallen in love with Audrey Hepburn all over again. So when Y/N asked her to come over for a movie marathon Sunday, she had been so excited, knowing her best friend had never seen this one before. But here she was, watching it alone because Y/N was taking forever in the bathroom with that pregnancy stick.

“You’re gonna miss the iconic scene! Holly is putting on her lipstick!” Layla shouted with a mouth full of popcorn and muttered along the famous line “a girl doesn’t read this sort of things without her lipstick,” while grinning from ear to ear.

“Layla...”

The soft voice pulled her attention away from the TV screen. She meant to scold at Y/N for interrupting her, but as soon as she saw her best friend’s pouting face, she knew something had gone wrong.

“H-How was it?” She immediately stood up and walked up to Y/N, who gave her a slight shrug. Y/N didn’t say a word, still, Layla already had her answer. What else could it be when Y/N seemed this agitated? A positive. Definitely a positive.

Frowning, she wrapped both arms around Y/N to pull her in and lay a kiss on her forehead. “Don’t worry..." she said. "You’re gonna be a great mum."

“But I—” Y/N could barely begin when Layla shushed her with a wave and turned back to the screen. Audrey’s character Holly was now crying in the rain because she’d lost her yellow cat. This was Layla's favorite scene, there was no way she could miss it.

“Cat! Cat!” She mumbled along with Holly, placing both hands on her chest. No matter how many times she had watched this one, she always got emotional as if it was her first. However, her mood was ruined by another scream so loud, that her ears went deaf for a few seconds. She widened her eyes at Y/N, who was now looking from left to right like she was going insane.

“Where’s Treasure?!” She shouted.

It was then that Layla remembered she hadn’t seen the white cat that entire morning. She scanned her eyes around the room, looking slightly concerned. “You told me you were gonna give the cat a bath. But then you screamed, and I came in to see you on your bedroom floor.”

“Right...I was...I was about to give her a bath...” Y/N tried to steady her breath while pacing back and forth. Immediately, she stopped dead in her tracks, her jaw fell slack as she pointed a finger to the front door which was wide opened. “Who opened that door?!”

“You did!” Layla scoffed. “You told me you burnt something in the kitchen, so you let the door opened for the smoke to fly out.”

“Shit...no, no, no!” Y/N wailed, her face contorted. Nam had been cat-sitting Treasure for so long and never had there been a problem. But as soon as he took a day off and let Y/N do the job, Treasure ended up missing. How could she be so careless? If something happened to her cat, she would hate herself forever. Harry would hate her too. She couldn’t let that happen. And so she freaked out and told her best friend, “We need to go find Treasure!”

“Calm down, she’ll come ba—” Layla didn’t get to finish her sentence. Y/N pushed her aside and ran out of the flat in a heartbeat.

“Meow!”

The sound caused Layla’s head to spin. For a second there she had hoped it was Treasure. But unfortunately, it was from the movie. Holly Golightly had found her yellow cat in the alley, and while in tears, she hugged her pet as soft music began to play. Layla exhaled, rolling her eyes. She knew she’d be damned if Treasure never came back again, and so she paused the film to follow Y/N out of the flat.

As the girls got to the lobby, they bumped into Ben, who was on his way to visit them. The smile on his face slipped just as Layla screamed “Treasure is missing!” and Y/N pushed him aside to rush towards the door. Confused, he snatched her arm and pulled her right back.

“Let’s all calm down now. Treasure’s a smart cat. She won’t go far,” he tried to reassure the nervous girl, but those words seemed completely useless as she hissed and brushed him off.

“She’s my cat okay? You don’t have a cat, you don’t get it!”

Y/N’s aggressive reaction left Ben confused. Eyes widened, he turned to Layla, shooting her a look of concern as he assumed she would know what was going on. But her mouth snapped shut instead of giving him an answer. Something about their behaviors made Ben think Y/N’s lost cat wasn’t the biggest problem here. He stepped forward, gently rubbing her arm and leaning down so their eyes met.

“Hey, just take a deep breath and—” Y/N barely let him finish. She grabbed his shoulders then shook him violently. “I spent five minutes with my cat and now she’s missing! How am I gonna look after a human baby?!”

“Okay, dude, stop. You’re scaring him.” Layla literally had to drag her away before she ripped off Ben’s shirt. It took the man around five seconds to figure out what she meant, and once realization dawned on his face, he gasped, covering his mouth.

“Are you pregnant?”

“No, I am not!” Y/N answered, but Layla quickly clarified. “She’s still in the denial phase.”

Ben’s reaction to the pregnancy news was entirely different from the girls had expected. He clasped his hands together, bouncing up and down before reaching out to caress Y/N’s belly. His eyes literally lit up when he smiled at her. “Is it a little Y/N or little Harry?”

“Oh my god, does anyone with a dick know how pregnancy works?” Layla cried out as she smacked his hand away, and he instantly shot her a glare.

“Someone with a dick who’s not into dicks might.”

“Enough with the pregnancy talk!” Y/N raised her voice, sounding exhausted and frustrated at the same time. She knew if she let these two argue it would never end, thus the best solution at the moment was to stay calm as Ben had said. There was plenty of time later to worry about being pregnant. “Now.” She sighed. “Let’s split and find Treasure before something happens to her.”

The search had gone on for almost three hours. They had been to every place in their neighborhood where they assumed the cat might be, but it was hopeless. How could they find such a tiny creature in a city as big as London? A child might be easy to spot, but Treasure was a cat. God knew where she might be. She could've been kidnapped and nobody would've cared or noticed. That, however, was the last thing Y/N wanted to think of right now.

Heartbroken and disappointed, Y/N returned to her building, trying to catch her breath while sweat was dripping down from her forehead and soaking her entire back. There she met Layla, who was also in the same nervous state.

“Y/N, I’ve looked everywhere, can’t find her.” Layla breathed, both hands on her hip as she looked around, squinting her eyes. “Let’s just hope Ben returns with good news.”

That didn't calm Y/N's nerves at all. She slowly released a shaky breath and flopped down on the step behind them. Hugging both knees, she muttered, “this is all my fault. How am I supposed to tell Harry?”

Layla could only sigh as she took a seat next to her friend. With both arms around Y/N’s shoulders, she spoke, “this isn’t your fault. It’s just the pregnancy hormones that make you feel this way.”

But Y/N shook her head. Layla didn't understand that response, yet she had a feeling there was something else she did not know. Without waiting for her to wonder, Y/N blurted out, “I...I didn't take the test.”

“What?" Layla’s green eyes shot open. “What the fuck does that mean?!”

“I-I was about to but I got scared...”

“Fuck, dude…” was all Layla could whisper before letting the silence sink in, and they sat like that, both were thinking on their own. It did sound like a bad thing at first. Y/N let Layla and also Ben believe the test was positive, thus they had been worrying all for nothing. But as Layla thought again, she realized this could be better. She tapped her best friend on the shoulder to get her attention. “But hey, it means you might not be pregnant. We still have hope.”

“Actually…” Y/N’s voice was so tiny Layla could barely hear that word. "That’s what I’m afraid of.”

“Huh?”

Y/N sighed, chewing on her bottom lip as she pondered before speaking up. “I know this may sound insane but...we had a pregnancy scare before and...and it was a false alarm. So if it happens again, I think...” She paused right there. Just like before, she was afraid to say something and have it become a reality. But she trusted Layla, and she knew if she was going to confide in anyone other than Harry, it should be Layla.

“What if I can’t have babies?” Y/N spoke at last. Her voice shuddered, and the anxiety was clear in her tone. “I know I said I didn’t want to have kids now...but what if when I’m ready, I still can’t?”

Layla’s expression softened at once. She put a hand on Y/N’s shoulder as a tiny smile formed on her lips. “Hey, don’t be so pessimistic, everything will be fi—”

“You don’t get it." Y/N shook her head fast, her chapped lips pressed together as her eyes swam with tears. “That’s all Harry’s talked about since our wedding. How am I supposed to come back tonight and tell him I’ve lost our cat and I cannot have babies?”

“He’s not gonna leave you because you can’t get pregnant. Harry’s not like that.”

“But he’ll be disappointed…” She shook her head, her eyes were filled with tears. “I don’t want Harry to be sad and disappointed. I want him to be happy.”

“Hey.” Layla exhaled as she cupped her best friend’s face. “I’ve known Harry for five years, and I‘ve never seen him happier than when he’s with you. That idiot loves you. He’s gonna love you if you go bald and lose all your teeth. You think he gives a fuck if you cannot have babies?”

“No…”

“Say it with confidence, bitch.”

“No,” Y/N spoke louder, trying not to laugh as she wiped away her tears.

Layla giggled, rolling her eyes. “And let’s not make assumptions so soon. We don’t know for sure if you’re pregnant, or if Treasure is really missing. Want me to call H?”

“No, don't.” Y/N shook her head slowly, now more relaxed than before. “He’s having lunch with his suppliers...I don’t wanna bother him.”

Layla said nothing else as she nodded. They sat there for a little while, watching people passing by and waiting for Ben to come back, hopefully with some good news. But the thing about living in London was that, one second it was sunny, and in a blink of an eye, it was raining cats and dogs. That Sunday was no exception. It began with a raindrop on Layla’s arm which instantly caught her attention as she lifted her face up. She opened her mouth to warn Y/N about what was coming for them, but as soon as the first sound escaped her lips, the rain came down like a giant waterfall.

“Shit!” She cursed, standing up quickly, yet Y/N was still sitting there, unbothered by the unexpected shower.

“Hey, dumbass, stand up!”

“No, Treasure can’t be out there in this rain!” Y/N shrugged her best friend’s arm away, keeping her hands above her eyes so she could with water was splashing down on them. Layla kept repeating that Treasure would be fine, but neither of them knew if that was true anymore. They didn't want to think of the worst scenarios because it would break their hearts to even imagine. However, the rain turned out to be their stroke of luck. A familiar purr made their heads turned to the other side of the road. This time, Layla was sure it wasn’t from any movie scene.

“Treasure!”

“Meow!”

The white fur ball hopped off the brick wall and ran across the street to jump right into Y/N’s arms. Y/N forgot about the cold as she pulled the wet creature to her chest, giving her soft kisses all over. “I will never let you out of sight again,” she promised, squeezing Treasure tightly.

Standing on the sidelines, Layla ignored the rain pouring down on them three. "My favorite scene," she mumbled, her lips curved into a peaceful smile. The moment was beautiful and warm. But then a yellow cat jumped right out from the bush behind them, causing Layla to scream and almost fall down into the puddle at her feet.

“Tiger?” Y/N raised both eyebrows as the creature approached her and rubbed its face against her leg.

“Jesus Christ, how many cats do you secretly own?!” Layla shouted, making her best friend giggle.

“This one isn’t mine, it's Mason’s.”

“Harry's hot cousin?”

“You mean ‘annoying’?” Y/N snorted. “Yeah.”

That was when Ben came back, holding a black umbrella and looking startled to see the girls standing in the rain. All out of breath, he announced with an enormous grin, “that lady over there said that she saw Treasure with a yellow cat, they were heading to the park and—Hold up!” The man halted when he saw those little troublemakers staring back at him. The look on his face made both Y/N and Layla burst out laughing.

“Okay, Romeo and Juliet,” Y/N sighed as she picked Tiger up with her other hand. “Let’s get you both dry and cleaned.”.

As soon as Harry got home, he dashed into the bedroom. His hair was wet from the rain, but fortunately, his clothes were mostly dry. With a sigh of relief, he leaned against the door, smiling as he saw his wife and their cat snuggling up together while watching a movie. As soon as Y/N spotted him, she cheered, “daddy’s home!” And Treasure meowed in joy when he came in to kiss both of their heads.

He stroked his wife’s cheek in concern. “I ran into Ben earlier. Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, it was a false alarm.” Y/N nodded, pressing her moist lips into a gentle smile. “She was only going on a date with Tiger.”

“Mason’s cat?”

She nodded again, and both of them turned to look at the guilty one.

“Guess I don't have to wait until we have a daughter to worry about her and the boy next door.” Harry chuckled while shaking his head. He expected Y/N to laugh along like she normally would, but instead, she kept a straight face. It wasn’t her not finding his joke funny, it was something else, he could tell.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” Harry asked, eyebrows furrowed in concern as he met her eyes again. Instead of telling him the reason, she responded with a question which left him surprised.

“Did Ben tell you about the other thing?”

He stuck out his bottom lip, shaking his head slightly. “What other thing?”

“That I thought I was pregnant, but I wasn’t?”

Harry felt his entire body go numb as he heard that. He didn’t know how to respond because he couldn’t read her expression, so all he could do was stutter and end up shaking his head. “He um…no, he didn’t mention…Are you okay, love?”

“Layla took me to the hospital. All those pregnancy symptoms were caused by stress,” she whispered and blinked her sweet eyes at him. Harry had no idea why she seemed so sad. She had been rambling on about how they couldn’t afford a child at this point. He thought she should be happy instead.

“Oh, that’s a relief, right? You don’t want to have kids now,” he said while rubbing her back as she scooted closer to rest her head on his shoulder. She was quiet for a while to think before she spoke. It was always bad news when Y/N was quiet. He knew her well to realize when something was bothering her.

“Yeah, well...I...” She hesitated. “Maybe...I won’t ever...have kids.” As she pulled away to see how he reacted, he tried to remain calm, yet ended up gawking at her. She gulped, reaching out to squeeze the hand he put on her lap. Her voice shuddered as she went on. “I have high FSH levels, which means low chances of getting pregnant.”

“Oh” was his instant reply. That was a terrible comment to your wife saying she might never have children, but he wasn’t in his clear mind to come up with something better. He was shocked, yes, but he wasn’t upset about the news, not even the slightest.

“I’m sorry,” she spoke quietly, giving his hand another squeeze.

That was how he knew, she forgot. She forgot how much he loved her, and they were married, and nothing in this world could change the fact that, they were together in this forever.

“No, don’t be sorry, love.” He pressed his forehead against her, watching her eyelids flutter as she held his gaze. “This doesn’t matter to me, you do. Besides, having low chances doesn’t mean impossible.”

"But it’s still unlikely...I’m so sorry," she apologized once more, despite knowing he hated it when she blamed herself for something that wasn’t her fault. Still, she couldn’t help but feel like it was. "We’ve talked about having kids since forever, and now I’m telling you that it might not happen, I—"

“Hey.” He grabbed her face with both hands, forcing her to pay attention to his words instead of her own. “This isn’t your fault. This doesn’t change how much I love you. Told you at our wedding, didn’t I? I’ll love you forever, and that means with or without babies. We can always adopt ours, like Brad and Angelina, yeah? We’ll be a family of ten if that's what you want.” With tears in her eyes, she nodded fast, exhaling a warm laugh that got him chuckling as well. “Let’s not lose hope,” he reassured her. “I’m sure we’ll get kids of our own one day.”

“You believe that?”

“Yeah.” He pressed a kiss to the corner of her lips. “But I’m happy with the way things are now. We’re already a happy family. You, me, and—” Sighing, he turned to Treasure, who was patiently waiting for her name to get mentioned. “And this little lady who left home with the boy her parents had warned her about.”

Y/N giggled, hugging the cat close to her chest and pulling her husband closer to kiss him passionately. The film on her laptop was still playing, and she knew Layla would be so mad that she didn’t watch until the rolling credits. However, everyone knew how it would end, with Holly Golightly kissing her lover Paul while holding her cat.

#harry styles fluff #flatmate!harry #husband!harry #ceo!harry #harry styles writing #harry styles series #harry styles angst #harry styles imagine #harry styles imagines #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfics #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfictions

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italkaboutbooks · 4 years

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An in depth review of Aurora Rising by Jay Kristoff and Amie Kaufman//Part 1

So...I usually don’t do this kind of thing. Normally on this blog I just give simple, non-spoiler reviews. And then I give that certain book a stared rating out of five. And then I move on with my life.

But I’m starting to realize, that I may not be able to do that. At least, not for the YA sci-fi novel Aurora Rising, written by Jay Kristoff and Amie Kaufman.

I have a lot of thoughts on this book. I have read many reviews by other people about this book. The reviews I read were very mixed. Some people loved it and gave it 4-5 stars, and others hated it giving it 1 star. But for me, I cannot sum up my thoughts on this book with a rating out of 5, or any number for that matter. No, I have to get into the nitty gritty of this book, and explain every thought I ever had about this book.

So this is very obvious, but this will be an extremely spoilery post. I am not holding back on the spoilers, you have been warned.

Intentions

I feel like when analyzing everything Aurora Rising did, you have to understand what the authors intended it to be. Because I personally believe that Aurora Rising is just meant to be a fun time. It’s not meant to be profound, or deep, or revolutionary. I think Kristoff and Kaufman just wanted to write a light-hearted sci-fic novel about teenagers in a space academy. When I read the synopsis of this book, I could easily tell just by the tone that this wasn’t a book to take seriously, and it was just supposed to be a fun time.

And I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. If you like reading stories that are just fun, good for you. I understood that when I read this book, and I think that’s why I gave it 4-stars on goodreads. Because I enjoyed it. But a part of me has to ask, does writing stories solely for fun, take away something from the story? It’s a debate that has no end, and I understand that, but here’s what I think.

Stories intended for fun? Totally cool. Sometimes we just want something fun without any messages that challenge us, even though those are extremely important. But sometimes I can’t help but wonder, especially in reading this book, what if you changed this or improved on this? Because that would make the story have more meaning.

One could argue that the most profound stories are the ones that are also fun and light-hearted. Take Disney and Pixar for example. Ignoring the questionable stuff that they as a corporation are, they have movies that are fun and light-hearted, and yet are still meaningful and can withstand time. Basically, stories can do both. Be fun and meaningful at the same time. And this might be the main problem with Aurora Rising.

Personally, I think Aurora Rising is a fun story, with little sprinkles, tiny sprinkles of meaningfulness. However some reviews said that the authors didn’t really care about making the readers care, and a part of me agrees with them. Because Aurora Rising is intended to be fun, and while that is enough for most people, and myself. I can’t help but wonder, how much better it could’ve been.

Plot

The plot of Aurora Rising is pretty basic in my opinion. However, I saw a reviewer say that it completely ripped off Firefly so...that’s disappointing to hear. Especially since these authors are apparently big names. Tyler Jones goes to a space academy, and misses the draft, a.k.a the event where graduates choose their coworkers for the job they’ve been working for years to get. Tyler misses the draft, because he received a distress call from a ship that’s about to explode, but there’s a sleeping girl there.

So Tyler gets grouped with the “worst of the worst” reputation wise and there’s also a poor girl who is trying to cope with the fact that literally everyone she knows is dead, and that she’s been sleeping for centuries.

So this girl does some creepy things and it turns out she has a bigger role to play in the fate of the world and Tyler and this gang of misfits get themselves wrapped up in it.

Pretty simple, really. There’s not much I can say on the plot. It’s not bad, it’s pretty basic. I don’t really care for basic plots. As long as the characters are great, whether they’re likeable or intriguing, I’m fine. However, I have one huge problem with the plot. And that is the ending of part 2.

The novel is separated into three parts.

Specifically, chapters 18-24. Let me try to explain to you what happens, because it had left me so confused.

So, Aurora (the girl who was asleep) keeps having strange visions. It had led the group to a black market planet essentially. The person who runs this “planet” is a criminal, I believe, who has the strongest security in the universe. The main gang is trying to break into the “criminal’s” place to steal a statue from him. There’s also a murder hungry beast that guards the place. Basically, it’s a suicide mission.

Cat, one of the characters, does not agree on following through with the plan, and for good reason to. They get into a fight about it, and Cat storms off to a bar to drink her feelings away.

While she’s at this bar, getting drunk (not a good state to be making decisions btw) the GIA comes to her. All you need to know about the GIA, is that they are looking for Aurora, and they are not going to be nice to her when they get her. They are here, because they want Aurora, and they tell Cat that. They also tell her that if she just gives them Auri, then her other crewmates, will be fine. Off the hook.

So, this girl is leading the people you care about into a dangerous situation, and people come up to you and say that if you tell them where that girl is, everything will be okay. Oh, and you’re currently drunk, and not thinking straight. What would you probably do? In this situation, I would say that you would sell Auri out.

When I read this scene, it seemed pretty simple to me. Cat was going to reveal Auri’s location, and the GIA would take her, and everyone would be pissed at Cat. But that’s not what happened.

We don’t get a scene of Cat actually selling Auri out.

The chapter ends, and in the next chapter, Cat is back with the others, going through with the plan. So I was thinking, “okay, she sold them out, but she obviously hasn’t said that, but then the GIA is going to come, and the plan would fail.”

But here’s what happens.

Cat, Tyler and Auri get super close to their goal. And the the person who ran the place caught up to them. He isn’t happy because they were breaking and entering. Then, the GIA comes, and I’m thinking that it’s game over. Cat betrayed them. They’re like, “we just need Auri but it’s okay you can beat the others up.”

Cat goes, “That wasn’t the deal.” And Tyler goes, “what deal?”

Cat basically confessed that she sold the squad out, and Tyler is rightfully upset about that. They get into an argument which turns into a fight. The GIA takes Auri away, and now I’m thinking, “Cats mistake caused Auri to fall into the wrong hands. The third part is going to be them saving her. Maybe Cat will have an arc surrounding this.”

You wanna know what happens next? The GIA agents take out the “bad guys,” and take off their masks to reveal that they were actually members of the squad all along.

What? What??

How did this happen? Does this make any sense to you? If you have read the entire book, did you understand what happened? Because I don’t have a clue how any of that made any logical sense.

Listen, I know what an unreliable narrator is, and I’m not saying it’s bad. However, if your story is so confusing that I don’t even believe that an event could’ve happened, you did something wrong.

I literally skimmed through the book again to remember what happened and I’m still confused and upset.

I think what happens is that Cat does sell Auri out, but she tells the squad what she did. And they’re apparently cool with it, and don’t get mad at her. None of these scenes are shown, so two of the members go to get GIA disguises, and it turns out that everything went according to plan all along, even though the readers are lead to believe the opposite.

I hate it. I hate it so much. I hate it because it just leaves you asking what was genuine characterization and what was just “acting” to go along with the plan. Like, did Cat actually get upset at the plan originally? Was that fight when Tyler finds out Cat sold them out a genuine fight of betrayal and anger? I don’t know. A part of it may be because I’m dumb, but I think this part in general was also way too confusing for its own good.

Not to mention that it throws out an opportunity for a character arc in Cat, that was thrown out of the window and replaced with something much cheaper in my opinion.

Personally, I wished that Cat did betray the squad and Auri does get taken by the GIA. But during the heist, Auri saves Cat (that’s an actual event btw,) from a monster. This could make Cat regret selling Auri out. Then, Cat could go and personally save Auri, as a way to amend her actions and give her an arc. I think that would’ve been much better.

But we didn’t get that. And it’s what I hate the most about the plot. I have more complaints about chapters 18-24, but we’ll get to those later.

So I’m now looking over what I just wrote, and I’m realizing that I need to split this up into more than one part. So this is part one of my deep dive thoughts on Aurora Rising. If you want to see part two, I recommend following me. Hopefully, I don’t make you regret that choice.

Part 2// Part 3

#bookblr #book reader #book review #ya book review #books on tumblr #books #bookblogger #aurora rising

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centorameninbrodo · 5 years

Text

CLIP TRANSLATION

A friend of mine did that so here we go

Silvia: “are they asparagus?”

Eleonora: “please hold this glasses that we’re taking in the other room”

Silvia “you have done only this?”

Eleonora “what’s that face Silvia? You’ve always eaten my risotto with asparagus”

Silvia “I like it but you know silvia cmon”

Ele “what?”

Silvia “they make it stink!”

Ele “omg silvia doesn’t want to eat my risotto”

Fede “why?”

Silvia “because it make it smell bad down there. Asparagus are the worst”

Fede “so?”

Silvia “so, if Edoardo tonight wants to bang another time and go down there... I can’t eat them

Do you think I’m dumb?”

Sana “honestly?”

Silvia “cmon!”

Eva “silvia btw you need to know that with the guys you need to ask them to go downthere, so you need to not ask him and you can eat all the risotto you can”

Silvia “but if I want to ask him?”

Fede “you won’t miss anything”

Eva “eh? What are you saying Fede?”

-two missing calls from Edoardo-

Fede “there was this guy from Calabria at this village that, girls, he really wanted to do that to me, he asked and asked and asked and at the last night I said “ok””

Eva “what? Only ok?”

Fede “yes I swear he was so pushy! But girls..”

Ele “the risotto is ready!”

Fede “so at the end, when he went down there... I felt nothing, I was tired and I felt asleep”

Eva “what are you saying cmon you can’t be sleepy when he’s doing that”

Sana “thank u. What’s this cmon”

Ele “give me the plate”

Silvia “but we’re wasting it like that”

Fede “pls at least try it”

Sana “haveyou cooked this risotto for 8 hours?”

Fede “8 days you mean”

Silvia “well, cooked slow..”

Eva “ele, is it normal?”

Fede “btw only Ele can..”

Filippo “helloooo what are you eating asparagus?”

Eva “yes”

Filo “but girls never asparagus before a night out”

Silvia “thank u”

Filo “i need to teach u everything? This dress is gorgeous. Stand up. Let me see you. Omg it’s so sparkling. Turn turn turn. Very beautiful “

Silvia “and up is elegant, down is slutty”

Filo “can I tell you the truth? I feel that it’s all slutty. Up, down..”

Silvia “but it’s ok?”

Filo “of course love of course! The basis with you

Can I drink?”

Ele “water?”

Filo “no the water love only if the plants are on fire”

Silvia “omg Edoardo texted me. So, at what time do you arrive?”

Ele “we didn’t have started eating the risotto”

Silvia “ok so I said half an hour?”

Sana “if we’re leaving now it’s half an hour... tell him an hour”

Edo’s text “the message was obviously for you” Ele “stop”

Filo “but why? What do you need to do?”

Silvia “a party with Edoardo”

Filo “what a bullshit with this Edoardo cmon”

Ele “ You’re right. Eva, do you remember that party.. that we were saying.. with universitary people, cool, with Niccolò... why don’t we all go there?”

Silvia “because Edoardo’s going to be only at one party?”

Filo “but, in all of this, Edoardo is the trunk with shitty hair? Am I wrong?”

Sana “yes. He’s exactly him.”

Ele “cmon let’s go to this party, we’re going to meet new people”

Eva “like... like Elia. For example”

Silvia “elia’s not a new person”

Eva “ok but he’s cute”

Silvia “yes but he’s not more handsome than Edoardo”

Ele “certainly he’s more funny than Edoardo”

Eva “I can confirm. He’s very funny”

Sana “no sorry since when he’s so funny. “

Silvia “Especially when he tried to hang Oslvaldo on the microphone of the radio and set it on fire”

Fede “actually that wasn’t very funny”

Eva “ok ok but at the end he was sorry I remember it”

Silvia “ok but you’re out of mind”

Filo “but can I see this Elia? I don’t remember him”

Silvia “there you are”

Filo “uncle Filippo is going to tell you if he’s worthy. well, he’s not so bad”

Silvia “no Fili cmon”

Filo “no I will bang him immediately”

Silvia “noooo”

Filo “no I swear. Of course I will remove that coatto’s jacket (sorry coatto is untranslatable lol but he’s not a good thing)

Silvia “but I remove all his look”

Eva “guys what fucking beer did you gave to me?”

Filo “well I would say a lot handsome (F R E G N O. HE SAID FREGNO. THAT’S A LOT GIRLS) especially look at those lips”

Ele “ok ok perfect let’s go to this party. Eva call Giò that we’re going with them”

Eva “ok I’m texting Gio that Silvia wants to give it to Elia”

Silvia “no eva absolutely not. You’re drunk, no no. Don’t do it!”

Filo “first of all, I would make a toast for Elia and Silvia”

Fede “ooohh great idea”

Filo “cmon cheeers”

Sana “can you do it with water?”

Fede “nono it’s bad”

Silvia “you’re unlucky”

Eva “can you hear me?”

Filo “what are you saying with water is good too”

Eva “ok ok ok now we’re trying to figure it out. Ok. Girls, they went to Nathan. Apparently Nico’s party was shit”

Filo “cmon let’s stay there and drink a little more.. I mean, not even the glass you gave me and I was here with... 9 beers “

Silvia “ nono guys it’s Edoardo. Hello? Ok. Ele? He wants to speak with you”

Ele “what? Hello?”

Sana “can i show you something? 3,2,1... gurls he doesn’t go down! It’s sticking!”

Edo “I won’t stop using Silvia until you’re starting respect our deal”

Silvia “what is he saying?”

Ele “no I don’t have the number”

Edo “go out with me, and I’ll stop using Silvia. Ok?”

Ele “ok. Bye”

Edo “ok. Pass me Silvia”

Ele “he wants to speak with you”

Silvia “hello? Ok. Ok. Ok, bye

He said that at Nathan’s there were too many people and that they won’t let anybody in”

Filo “ok so now I’ll manage it”

Silvia “sorry what did Edoardo want?”

Filo “what do we care about the (I seriously can’t understand the word sorry)”

-iconic italian song on the background-

Filo “omg what titties she has today”

Eva “they’re exploding”

Filo “I adore them”

Silvia “do you like them?”

Filo “yes, i can be straight twice a week. Or three times. Oooh ok cmon girls”

Edo’s text “friday at 7pm. I’m going to drive you.”

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makeste · 4 years

Text

BnHA Chapter 280: I Am Red Riot

Previously on BnHA: The pro heroes over at Gunga Mountain struggled against Gigantomachia and the League until finally Midnight was all, “fuck it, let’s just put the kids in charge.” Momo immediately got to work organizing a sophisticated counteroffensive involving an exploding swamp, a bunch of sedative cans, and a massive coordinated team attack. I gotta tell you guys, it’s really something to watch a large-scale group attack in which all of the team members are actually competent. I don’t know what Japan put in the water when all these sixteen-year-olds were growing up, but that shit has paid off big time, and basically the only reason Machia hasn’t gone down yet is because he cheated and was all “sneeze” and the kids all got blown away because they are little and because he is really, really big. Anyway so then Dabi set the forest on fire because he loves doing that, and the chapter ended with Mina using her Acid Man attack to make herself FUCKIN’ FIREPROOF so she could charge through the woods ready to save the day and stuff!

Today on BnHA: Mina launches herself straight at Machia like the beautiful corrosive wild child she is, but then everything goes to shit when she recognizes him from that one time she almost got murdered while giving a strange man directions. Just when it’s looking like she might get killed for real this time, KIRISHIMA SHOWS UP TO SAVE THE DAY AND SHOVES HER TO SAFETY AND IS ALL “BOTTOMS UP” AND HEAVES A LITERAL CAN OF WHOOPASS RIGHT IN MACHIA’S MOUTH. At this point the grown-ups are all “oh wow look at that, time for us to take over for you kids now, don’t worry we’ve got it all under control” because Oh Those Wacky Pros and all that, but at least Majestic finally deigns to show his face so that’s a plus! The chapter ends with us cutting back to the Jakku battle, where Tomura is curled up in a little ball all “curse you heroes, how dare you [checks notes] save people all the time”, which is a real take and a half. Anyway so things are looking up, which can only mean everyone is about to die. That’s how it works, right. Shit.

HOLY SHIT LOL

THIS IS MINA. SHE’S REALLY COOL AND SHE CAN MELT PEOPLE. um, the hell kind of tagline is that?? holy fucking shit?? “melt and succumb”?? IS THE SUCCUMB PART REALLY NECESSARY. IS THAT NOT ALREADY IMPLIED. it’s like saying “die and then perish”, which actually sounds really badass and I’m about to make it my new go-to threat actually so you know what never mind. where the fuck were we anyway

“IS EVERYONE SAFE” some absurdly bad-at-gauging-situations kid from class B is yelling while the forest is on fire and all the kids are recovering from having been catapulted fifty miles by King Dodongo’s windy yeet breath. of course they are safe, sweet child. of course everyone is absolutely fine, why the fuck would they possibly not be safe after something like that

KAMINARI NOOO MY POOR SWEET BABY

AT LEAST HE’S STILL CONSCIOUS ENOUGH TO MAKE STUPID JOKES. holy shit this baby got concussed to hell and back and then Machia turned him and the others into precipitation and he wasn’t in any kind of state to even try to land safely, I hope to god someone caught him

Sero is all “is there anyone still in range!” and damn, I like that he’s taking charge and trying to regain their momentum. he is so criminally underrated. I feel like he’s in the top six or seven of class 1-A kids who I would most trust to take charge. which is very high praise because that class has a lot of charge-taking kids

SPEAKING OF

it “probably” can’t get through her acid, she says. my god. sometimes the spirit of Plus Ultra just takes ahold of these kids and it’s like, I want to ruffle their hair proudly and then grab them by the shoulders and shake them vigorously because WHERE EVEN IS YOUR SELF-PRESERVATION WHY DO NONE OF YOU HAVE IT GODDAMMIT AIZAWA REALLY SHOULD HAVE EXPELLED YOU GUYS AFTER ALL

man. and yet I really do love this “be the one who can do it” stuff. what a heroic fucking attitude dfjfklks. I’ll just go put on my humongous sandwich board that reads GIANT FUCKING HYPOCRITE and go stand in the corner

damn it this week’s scan is annoyingly dark, it’s really hard to tell what’s going on but it looks like the pros are attacking Machia and the League at long last. way to go guys it only took you seven years but you finally hopped to it

MINA WHY IS THE ACID COMING OFF OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD. PUT IT BACK!!!

I KNOW SHE’S NOT GONNA DIE DAMMIT BUT AHHHHH AHHHHHH AHHHHHHHH

okay what the hell is up with these weird zen proverbs though

“your fear stricken heart”, “the shortest path”, what the fuck even is this. whose thoughts are these. normally these translations are honestly decent enough but I gotta say this time around I’m totally being thrown for a loop lmao

(ETA: FYI I’m only just now realizing that he was saying the shortest path to Master, as in Tomura, not “master” as in to master something fjkldjskf lol some delayed reading comprehension there. so basically he’s just bitching about how annoying these little “flies” are proving to be.)

JESUS CHRIST

okay is it just me, or is Gigantomachia suddenly showing intelligence in his eyes instead of mindless animal instinct the single most pants-shitting thing you’ve ever seen?!! holy shit. the way he just LOOKS at her out of nowhere all of a sudden?? holy fucking shit DO NOT HURT MT. LADY OH MY GOD I’M FREAKING THE FUCK OUT. AND DON’T YOU DARE HURT MINA EITHER!! JUST FUCKING DIE AND PERISH

but also though, is that recognition in Mina’s eyes?? because even though this dude is 80 feet tall now, her encounter with him a couple years back had to have been one of the more memorable experiences of her young life. damn I was wondering when this would finally come into play

OKAY YES THE NEXT PAGE IS A FLASHBACK OH SHIT

this has nothing to do with anything but Mina just has the prettiest hair, btw, and this “just woke up covered in acid” look is a particularly good one on her. it looks so soft and fluffy, like damn. this is like Shouto-hair-billowing-in-the-wind levels of pretty here

NOOOOO

oh my god holy shit?! putting her back in the school uniform to show the slip in her mentality is a PUNK MOVE, HORIKOSHI, and I respect the shit out of you for it you manipulative bastard. goddammit. bracing myself for the incoming wave of Mina feels... here they come... they’re a lot... let’s see if I can latch on to anything I can actually figure out how to describe in words

okay well here’s one, my respect for Mina’s bravery just went up like a thousand percent in this instant, because now we know this was actually such a traumatizing event for her that hearing Machia’s voice again years later immediately sent her into a full-blown flashback. she was that scared and yet she still stood up to him and didn’t hesitate. and now I’m remembering how her knees just buckled right afterwards, and just...

and this visual, though!! what a brutally effective way to show that in her mind she went right back to being that scared middle schooler again for a moment. god fucking damn. holy shit you guys is Kirishima fireproof because if he comes waltzing out of the woods next I don’t even know what I’m gonna do. lolo kids getting traumatized left and right this arc is fucking merciless

um eXCUSE ME!?!?!

YOU MOTHERFUCKING PIECE OF SHIT LET GO OF HER RIGHT NOW OR I AM GONNA LOSE IT!!

THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT!!

holy shit he could have fucking snapped her neck like that??! I don’t like this at ALL WHAT THE FUCK

OKAY SERIOUSLY

I’M GONNA NEED ANOTHER KID TO STEP IN HERE WITH A LAST MINUTE SAVE LIKE RIGHT THE FUCK NOW, OR I AM GOING TO THROW MY COMPUTER OFF A FUCKING CLIFF AND MOVE TO THE DESERT AND BECOME A HERMIT AND NEVER READ MANGA ON THE INTERNET AGAIN

OH THANK GOD

TODAY WE SPELL “REDEMPTION” K-I-R-I... ETC. THERE’S A LOT OF LETTERS BUT YOU GET THE DRIFT!!!

holy fucking shit y’all. I mean, it’s not like it came out of nowhere, like the setup could not have been more obvious, but let me assure you that none of the predictability lessened the actual impact of this moment in the SLIGHTEST. Horikoshi really wrote a flashback scene one hundred and thirty five chapters ago and planted it, watered it once a day, and patiently waited for THREE LONG YEARS until he could finally harvest the badass fruits of his labor in the midst of his most epic arc to date. I’m so fucking hyped I’ll even forgive him for sacrificing Mina’s big moment and having her get rescued, because it’s such a good reversal. he didn’t freeze up this time. he promised himself he’d never freeze again and he didn’t and he saved her and god fucking damn. anyways so now Machia is going to treat him like a fucking action figure though but he’s a solid little dude he can take it hopefully

NO WHAT IS THIS!!! STOP KILLING MY MOOD!!!

she better not be dead!! SHE BETTER NOT FUCKING BE DEAD I WILL RUN MY PC THROUGH A PAPER SHREDDER AND GO AND LIVE ALONE WITH MY FEELS ON A MOUNTAIN IN TIBET

CHINTETSU!!

well we know he’s fireproof. another callback at the least expected of times lmao

so Tetsu’s all “yeah Kirishima’s not really all that fireproof but he totally ran over here anyway to save you. oh wait that probably wasn’t very comforting of me to say.” maybe that’s why it seems like he might not have actually said it out loud, now that I’m reading this over again. good call Tetsu

ARE YOU STANDING UP AND CASUALLY STRETCHING OUT YOUR BACK

I CAN’T EVEN BELIEVE HOW MUCH I HATE THIS GUY RIGHT NOW. WE’RE REACHING LEVELS OF HATRED RESERVED FOR NAZIS AND PEOPLE WHO WALK TOO SLOWLY IN FRONT OF ME IN A GROUP SHOULDER TO SHOULDER INSTEAD OF SINGLE FILE SO I CAN PASS IN FRONT OF THEM. YOU’RE A FUCKING TOURIST IN NYC YOU PIECE OF SHIT

lmao he’s just dropping this random hero person and letting him fall to his doom wheeeeee

remind me to leave all of the League of Villains’ texts on read for the foreseeable future. goddamn. I still love you guys but also, fuck you so damn hard

OHO A LIL RED SCALY BOI ISN’T DONE YET!!

real talk, just between you and me, I’ll lower my voice so that Kirishima can’t hear. so uh. we all agree that even if Kiri is fireproof and squishproof, that little can of tranquilizer juice technically shouldn’t have been, right? but we’re all going to hush and pretend like it was anyway for the sake of not spoiling his big moment. even though I am crossing my arms and tapping my chin with my finger while doubtfully glancing to the side

anyway here he goes!

YEAH KIRI GO GETTIM [stage whisper] there it is, in his pocket. should’ve burned. we won’t discuss it

OH FOR FUCK’S

TOGA YOU LITTLE WIENER BUT WHAT’S THIS ABOUT “MY HALF” NOW????

DID HE GRAB MINA’S MID-AIR?? IS HE REALLY REACHING INTO HIS BACK POCKET AND FUCKING UNZIPPING IT RIGHT NOW WHILE HOLDING ON TO NOTHING AND PRESUMABLY FALLING THROUGH THE AIR. DID A LITTLE BIT OF OCHAKO’S QUIRK RUB OFF ON YOU OR WHAT

OH SNAP SON HE REALLY DID THE THING HOLY SHIT???

AND TOKAGE FLEW OVER AND SAVED HIM AND NOW TANKS ARE SHOOTING AT MACHIA, LMAO WHAT IS THIS. MOMO HOW MANY GUNS DID YOU MAKE

Shouji standing there trying to be useful any way he can. are eyeballs really that much more effective if you make them the size of tennis balls and hold them up above your head. legit question, I don’t really know how eyes work

okay after 45 seconds of googling this my impression is that no, they are not. well good on you for giving it the old college try anyway though Shouji

oH MY GODLKDLK?!?!

DID SHE SAY WHAT I THOUGHT SHE SAID, DID SHE SAY MAJESTIC, ARE WE GONNA SEE MASJKESLTKCI DSFLKJL

oh my god he really is the Magic Man dude??? TIME TO DUST OFF MY INVENTORY OF ADVENTURE TIME QUOTES

(ETA: AHH FATGUM AND GANG ORCA ARE THERE TOO YESSSS!)

“that’s enough depending on some interns” oh, okay. now that they’ve done all your work for you. I see, I see

so now Gigantomachia is LITERALLY UNHINGING HIS JAW I can’t fucking believe this dude you guys. everything he does is just like, ARE YOU SERIOUS

please go to sleep already. thanks to you I have my keyboard set to capslock as the default for the duration of this chapter

ARE YOU SERIOUS YOU FUCKING WAITED UNTIL MAGIC FUCKING MAN SHOWED UP TO TEACH US MAGICAL LIFE LESSONS AND NOW YOU’RE CUTTING BACK TO THE TOMURA FIGHT?? WHY DO WE KEEP LETTING THIS MAN GET AWAY WITH THIS

oh my god you guys they really fucking did it

I guess that Howitzer slash fire punch combo really was that potent huh

anyway so now Endeavor is standing there making a big speech instead of reaching into Tomura’s pocket and taking the bullets that he doesn’t know about and shooting him with one asap. dammit Endeavor

aaaaand Tomura is firing back with the wisdom of Shimura Fucking Kotaro of all people

well you sure convinced me. damn I don’t know what I was thinking. heroes suck you guys. how dare they help other people all the time

so now he’s all “PERIOD, EXCLAMATION POINT!!”

take that Endeavor. you heard the man. it’s not destruction without conviction, as god as his witness he will have you know it is destruction WITH conviction. something something the great sage Shimura “I hurt my family for absolutely no reason at all, fuck this ‘helping others’ bullshit” Kotaro. I hope you packed your textbooks because you just got SCHOOLED. I hope the person who ordered you signed up for delivery notifications because you just got SENT. I HOPE YOU LIKE CAPITALISM BECAUSE YOU JUST GOT OWNED. I HOPE YOU CHOSE PAPER AND NOT SCISSORS BECAUSE YOU JUST GOT ROCKED

what an absolutely, unreservedly bizarre place to end the chapter lol. we’re really just done with this week, just like that. Majestic showed up and Gigantomachia opened his chin like a garage door and Tomura is all “you may have won the battle but you suck” while he buys time for Aizawa to suddenly sneeze or something so he can make his terrible comeback and continue Horikoshi’s Traumatize Every Kid in Class 1-A 2020 campaign. what an arc this is my friends. what an arc

#bnha 280 #ashido mina #kirishima eijirou #gigantomachia #shigaraki tomura #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha #I didn't even notice the extra page on readheroaca until I was getting ready to click 'post' lol #something about ochako mistaking a real orca for their friendly teacher #resulting in a hilarious case of mistaken identity #I have no idea what this page is about or what it is doing there #but at this point 'because 2020' seems like a reasonable explanation for just about anything tbh

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