#i am narcissus and that fic is my reflection

[im-still-watching-anime]

i apparently do in fact have favorite fic actually and now every time i write i am acutely aware of this and have to mourn not being able to live up to my own standards

#smh making myself insecure #i dont even think its like my best writing or anything #and there’s absolutely a bunch of problems i should have edited better #but also— #i am in love with it #got published ages ago at this point and i still think about it SO much #i wanna go back in time so i can write it again #i loved writing it so much #i wanna publish it again and again and again #but alas i cannot #and like i LOVE writing all my fics it’s honestly so fun for me #even when i complain lol #but now i am always comparing everything to that one smh #which doesn’t work because they’re all different and their own things #i am narcissus and that fic is my reflection #but instead of me aging and dying all my other fics just get brutally bullied when i edit them instead rip #or abandoned when i can’t fix them up to meet my expectations🙃 #this is why god didn’t give me good self confidence #a bitch can’t get anything done when im slightly proud of one (1) thing smh

[woklaza]

Fyodor Analysis (Flowers)

Analysing THIS scene.

This scene from the season 4 intro featuring Fyodor is, blankly, flowers. But after obsessing over flower symbolism lately ( as an amateur, spare me), I figured that it would be fun to look into the meaning of flowers. This very unoriginal idea was probably done before but whatever.

Blue roses:

Blue roses symbolise secrecy and mystery, which, undoubtedly, suits Fyodor. So, moving on (help I suck at analyses it's a miracle I got an attainment badge for English).

Lily of the Valley:

Lily of the Valley symbolises purity, joy, love, sincerity, happiness and luck (Yes, I copied it from Google) But one interesting thing is that it even has connections with the Bible.

Song of Solomon 2  I am a rose of Sharon, a lily of the valleys.

Jesus was also described as 'Lily of the Valley' for that He alone is sinless, holy, and separate from sinners. This, well... this seems to expand on Fyodor's motive of wanting the Book to eliminate and purify humanity's "sins".

Red roses:

On the surface, red roses symbolise love and romance which, Fyodor does not seem to express. But after some more research, I found that the deeper the colour of the red rose, the more ready you are for commitment. But this is just on the side of romance (Fic writers, take the notes). There are other meanings to red roses such as desire, longing, respect, admiration, courage, sacrifice, beauty and perfection.

Tithonia Rotundifolia:

Before I go into the meaning, I just want to say this one was very hard to do. There was a bit of a mind debate on whether these are Tithonia Rotundifolia or orange daisies. But in terms of the shape, I figured it would be the Tithonia Rotundifolia.

Tithonia rotundifolia is a hardy and drought-tolerant plant, often thriving in challenging conditions. As such, it can symbolize endurance, resilience, and the ability to thrive despite adversity. Also, giving or receiving Tithonia rotundifolia can be a gesture of admiration and appreciation, acknowledging the recipient's positive qualities or expressing gratitude. While I personally do not think Fyodor is a person who shows admiration and appreciation, he certainly was admired and appreciated by lots, such as Sigma, Nikolai, Ivan et cetra.

Magenta Roses:

Magenta roses symbolize deep, passionate love, echoing the fervent emotions often associated with red roses. They convey a profound sense of affection and desire. But considering Fyodor's personality, we'll move on. Magenta roses also represent gratitude, appreciation, and admiration. That links perfectly to my previous analysis of the Tithonia rotundifolia.

With a bit more research I found that the rich and vibrant colour of magenta roses evokes feelings of enchantment and mystery. They can also signify the magic and allure of love, adding a touch of mystique to romantic gestures. But again, considering Fyodor, let's not stick to the romance side of things.

Olive branches:

This one is more of an optional analysis since I'm not sure if they really are olive branches in the first place. Anyway, we are pretty familiar with the international peace symbol (the well-known one, anyway) being a dove carrying an olive branch with its beak. This symbolises peace and harmony, which at least, in my opinion, is what Fyodor is aiming for to create a "sinless" world without abilities.

Narcissus:

The Greek myth of Narcissus falling in love with his reflection and turning into a flower symbolises self-love and egotism. While this may not entirely suit Fyodor, I do believe he has self-confidence in himself, perhaps even too much that he didn't consider trusting his allies. In fact, that was how he reached his downfall. The Narcissuses in the scene, at the end, bloomed over the other flowers and caused them to grey and wilt. In my opinion, this may symbolise two things:

This shows some of the good qualities that were symbolised in the flowers that didn't suit Fyodor were ruined by his self-confidence and lack of trust. For example, Fyodor didn't have the love symbolised in the roses because his goal buried those emotions down.

This shows how all of his good qualities were soon consumed by his lack of trust and confidence in himself. In fact, the Narcissuses taking over were like how his confidence and arrogance in not needing another plan just in case (we're talking about breaking out from Meursault here) taking over him and resulting in his ultimate (hopefully temporary) downfall and death.

Anyway, these are just my silly rambles. Use this as a reference or whatever, don't take it too seriously I really don't know much about flowers lol. I'm trying to make more analyses cos they're so fun to read (/>^<\) Have fun with the new pieces of information, I spent 1 hour on this and opened 23 computer tabs (Yes, I am not very efficient)! Uhh... bub-bye?

#bsd #bsd analysis #bsd fyodor #seriously the romance and love for the flowers are screaming Kolya #Yeah should i tag this a fyolai? #Nah #what did fyodor do lol #I tortured Fedya-kun with my ass analysis #character analysis #scene analysis #bungou stray dogs s4 intro #HIS ANEMIA IS SHOWING THROUGH HIS FACE BIKHUJ #No offense to ppl with anemia :>

[strawberryya]

whichever blooms first

Joshua x reader

synopsis: A dandelion is resilient, it can weather any storm, and at the end of its life it will even grant wishes to whoever sees its worth as something more than a simple garden weed. Your relationship with Joshua is the same, you hope, but maybe it wouldn’t hurt to make a wish that your love will last a lifetime anyways.

word count: 2.0k

genre/contains: fluff, hints of angst, flowers, lots of flowers, established relationship.

rating: sfw, all ages

a/n: here's my secret garden collab fic for the warm summer days ahead. it's short but sweet, I can pinky promise that much!

check out the other fics in this wonderful collab with the amazing authors from svthub here!!

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The spring sun was warming the surface of your skin. A calm breeze swept by, ruffling the high grass in the field you were laying in with your boyfriend. 

Your head was in Joshua’s lap and his shadow worked as a way to avoid getting the sun in your eyes. For the past hour or so your mind had been completely immersed in the fantastical story you had been dying to read for a while, only just finding the time to pick up as the hectic spring period was coming to an end and summer was on the horizon. 

Joshua had been the perfect headrest and parasol the entire time, and you hadn’t paid much attention to what he had been doing. When you looked up it gave you quite the fright to find that he was staring down at you, a small smile gracing his lips and a spark in his eyes. A spark that both intrigued and terrified you since you had seen it before and what would happen next was always a game of guessing the impossible. 

“Why are you looking at me like you’re gonna do something…? 

He smirked, making you even more nervous. “Stop it!” You warned, but he didn’t stop. Instead, he gave you an even bigger smile and a nod, conveying the feeling of having made a decision in his own mind. “I think you need a new nickname,” he said. 

This was not the kind of mischief you had been expecting. Usually he would tease you, tickle you, or attack you with kisses. You stared up at him, trying to tell if he was joking with you or if his serious tone mirrored his feelings correctly. “Why?”

“Don’t know, just thought you looked like a spring flower and that you needed a name that properly reflected that.” he deadpanned. 

You couldn’t help but burst out in laughter at his cheesy line. “Oh really, am I that pretty today?” You said and pretended to fawn over yourself, hands underneath your chin and fingers wiggling as if you were a flower, making Joshua crack up as well. 

“You’re always pretty and you know it,” he chuckled, “but the flowers around here just seemed to match your gorgeousness so perfectly.” 

“I’m pretty like a spring flower!” you giggled and kicked your legs up into the air with a little shout of “Yay” before you relaxed and just smiled up at Joshua’s pretty silhouette that was being lit up from the setting sun behind him. “Are you serious about this, Shua?” you questioned with a small smile. 

“Which flowers bloom first after winter? Daffodils?" he said and quirked an eyebrow in question as to how you liked it as your new name. He was definitely serious, you realized. Daffodils are pretty, but their other name is narcissus… You looked at him with an offended look, “Are you calling me narcissistic?” you said as you gasped jokingly. 

Joshua gave you a dashing smile in return, making you instantly forgive him. “Okay, not that one…What about tulip?” You thought about it for a while, not bad, but it just didn’t feel right. Maybe they were simply too common, you thought. 

“Better, but there must be an even better one.” you decided. 

“Oh, I know! What do you think about dandelions? They’re pretty, but everyone doesn’t see just how pretty they are. Me, however, I see it and it is blinding.” Joshua said, looking down at you with an excessively smug face. You were going to protest. A common weed that grew stubbornly by the side of the road? Was that how he saw you? But before you could find the words your mind looped back to the book that lay heavily on your chest where you had stopped before. 

“Dandelion! That reminds me of a really cute quote I read just a couple of chapters ago!! They were racing with their horses and she was looking at the queen being all happy and carefree,” you rambled on, excited to get an excuse to talk about the book on your chest. “Wait,” you said as you picked up the book and began searching for the words you had been reminded of.

“Okay, so here’s the quote: “Ead felt her own cares lifted from her shoulders. Like seeds from a dandelion clock.” Isn’t that so pretty?” 

Joshua’s eyes were big now and his smile was one you had come to recognize as him thinking you were adorable. “What? Is it silly?” you asked, a little shyer than before. He had this eerie ability to make you feel so heard, so seen, and usually, it made you happy. Now you felt slightly embarrassed about having digressed from the conversation so suddenly. 

“No. I like it, it’s a great quote,” he reassured you fondly. “Dandelion it is then! Your new nickname I mean.” 

His smile shone brightly as he declared his final decision. “It’s bright just like you.” 

That smile, like every other perfect smile Joshua had given you over the years, quickly imprinted itself on your eyelids. The sight of his smile was as common as daffodils, but beautiful nonetheless. During those times when he had been unable to smile at you like this had been the hardest months of your life. 

You never wanted to go a single day without seeing that very shining expression on his face ever again. 

Joshua had turned his gaze toward the field of flowers, expecting you to go back to your book. When you instead began talking his head snapped back down to you, his pretty doe-eyes made your heart flutter just like they had done so many times before. “I wanna come back here later and make a wish on a dandelion clock. I wanna feel all my worries lift from my shoulders just like the seeds the girl in my book talked about. Could we come back once all of these have finished blooming?”

“Mm, of course. Could I ask you something though?”

You nodded. “What are you planning on wishing away?” he asked, even though something in his tone was telling you that he was a bit afraid of the answer. 

“Well, you know, it’s a bit silly to say it out loud like this… but I wanna make a wish that we can stay like this forever.” When recognition lit up in Joshua’s eyes you averted your gaze, instead opting to reach a hand out to play with strands of grass beside the baby blue blanket covering the ground below. 

“Do you still have doubts that we’re gonna last?” 

You heard the genuine concern lacing his voice as he found the courage to ask. You nodded slightly. “I mean, I know that you do love me. You’ve told me so many times. Some days it’s just harder to believe in what I know. I thought you loved me back then too, and still, we couldn’t do anything but fight.”

Joshua stayed silent for a moment. The buzz of the field and the birds in the distance filled up the silence. It wasn’t as awkward to talk about it anymore, you felt it in the way neither of you was getting angry. There wasn’t any frustration or tension surrounding that period of fighting and the weeks when you had broken up anymore. The relief was immense. You felt it in your bones. Maybe you were strong enough to weather any storm that may lay ahead if you had managed to heal and grow even past that horrible time in your relationship. At least you hoped so.

“Yeah,” he sighed, leaning back onto his hands in the grass. “I get what you mean.”

“I’m really happy now though, I hope you know that. I really wouldn’t change anything in the past if it meant I would lose what we have now.” 

Joshua’s face lit up into half a smile yet again. “Me neither.” With a soft kiss on your forehead, he lifted your head off of his lap, making you pout in confusion when he got up from your little blanket. “Wait here, I’m just gonna go get something, I’ll be right back!” 

“Okay, but where…” you began but changed your mind as you saw him begin to wander across the entire field, apparently searching for something among the high grass and wildflowers. You chuckled and went back to finishing the chapter you had left off at as you waited for Joshua to come back. 

It didn’t take long for Joshua to come running back to your blanket with his hands full of small yellow flowers with petals that sprawled out like a tiny explosion from their stems. You looked up at him as he dropped the flowers in a neat pile on the edge of the square of fabric splayed out on the ground before he sat down next to you, slightly turned away from you so as to not have his project within full view of your watching gaze. 

That didn’t stop you from curiously peeking over his shoulder to sneak a peek at his crafting. You weren’t sure what he was doing, even as you recalled childhood memories of doing the exact same thing as he was currently doing with the flowers he had picked. 

His fingers were surprisingly nimble for their size as he wrapped the stalks of each flower around the next one, forming a long string of flowers tied together. It was pretty, but your imagination ran wild trying to figure out what he was intending to make. A necklace? A rope? Why would he need a rope of flowers? 

As you wondered, Joshua looked back to see your confounded face as he began turning around, his hands very obviously hiding something behind his back. You were pulled back to reality when you heard him chuckle at your zoned-out expression. 

“Oh, you’re done?” you asked excitedly, putting down the book to pay all your attention to whatever Joshua had ended up creating. 

That mischievous look was back, his eyes shining in the light of the setting sun that was sinking down below the treetops. “Ready?” 

“Show me!” you exclaimed with curiosity. You gasped when he brought his hands out from behind him, showing you what he had ended up making. In his hands was a round wreath, dotted with the bright yellow dandelions you had seen him bring with him. 

“That’s so pretty Shua.” 

“You like it?” he asked, seemingly a bit nervous to hear if you truly liked his gift. You nodded and he softly placed the flower wreath atop your head. 

“Thank you, I love it,” you laughed, adjusting the flowers so they wouldn’t fall from your head. “What’s it for though?” 

“Well… it just means ‘I love you’, nothing more, nothing less, really.”

You pouted, he made you a wreath to assure you that he loves you? It was a strange way to tell you, but it definitely worked. 

“I just want you to know that you don’t have to wait until you can make a wish on the dandelion clocks to know that I will love you forever.”

“You’re gonna make me cry if you talk like that,” you said, fanning your eyes in an effort to stop the tears. 

“I have one more thing, so don’t cry just yet!” he hurried to say, making you laugh and pushing the tears away momentarily. 

From behind him, he brought out something small, it fit in the palm of his hand with ease. A single dandelion was wrapped around itself and created a ring of its stalk. Your hand flew up toward your face to cover the scream that tried to escape at the thought of what this ring-shaped flower might mean. 

“I know it’s not perfect, but… my dandelion, will you be mine forever?” Joshua was smiling again, encouraged by the way you were almost jumping up at the sight of his creation. 

Tears were pricking your eyes again, and you nodded. “Yes, of course, I will!” you exclaimed, your voice barely holding up as you shrieked and threw yourself into Joshua’s arms. His body wrapped around yours as he held you close, accepting all the kisses you gave him as the tears of joy flowed from your eyes.

Reblogging and commenting is highly appreciated!! Hearing what you thought is what makes writing and being here overall so much fun! Ty and ily 💕

[navigation post!]

#svthub #svthub.collab #kvanity #k-labels #kwritersworldnet #Joshua fluff #seventeen fluff #Joshua seventeen #hong jisoo #hong joshua #svt #joshua x reader #seventeen Joshua #seventeen joshua x reader #seventeen joshua hong #joshua #joshua hong

[lovinggreeniehours]

hi i'm anya/arion/arin (i use he/it/other)! this is my selfship blog!

pspspspsps i could be your period drama obsessed mutual,,,,i could be your toxic yaoi mutual,,,,,,,,, or your eldritch horror mutual,,,, you wanna follow me sooo bad,,, no but for real though, never hesitate to interact with me!! i like talking to people!!

f/o list!

commission info!

current hyperfixations: obey me!, dungeon meshi, ouran high school host club, genshin impact

tags and extra information under the cut!

byf

i interact from @ari-shipping-stuff, and i moved here from @arisarchived

(the only ones i am sure im uncomfortable sharing are the ones in my favoritism standard)

there is occasional horny talk here, which i will either tag with #suggestive or #nsfw depending on the gravity of it

i am not very great with sharing most of my f/os, but it would be best if you asked me about sharing information directly because it probably varies a lot between them. if i follow you first, i'm most likely okay with it

dni if you come to bring discourse at my door <3

random information

i'm a heartless aro, and i think it reflects a lot in how i selfship

in addition to the above, none of my selfships are romantic. technically speaking, my relationships would qualify more as a qpr, but i prefer to keep labels out of it

not a minor

non-fandom forever interests: greek mythology, cephalopods, aus and au-making, music, period dramas

fandom-related forever interests: obey me!, percy jackson, the folk of the air, rwby, ouran high school host club, dungeon meshi, ninjago

tags

#ari.stuffs - rambles

#ari.art - art/drawings

#ari.writing - fics

#ari.asks - rambles

#ari.mp3 - exactly what it sounds like

#narcissus posting - venting/crash/npd-related (feel free to block this because i tend to get more than a little unhinged here)

#other ships + #other s/is + #(name).tag - for friends

#mine #selfship #yumeship

[thethermocline]

Dare I ask about my oc pairings 🫢 M/C, Moryo /Tinda, and/or Signy/Gloin (yes, I’m just like if narcissus was a girl)

For you I'll talk about any pairing you want...though you know, Narcissus, your reflection may be prettier than I but she cannot give you kisses. 😘

Now let's see if our relationship can survive my brutally! Honest! Opinions!! After all this is spicy hour, I am here for one thing and one thing only, and that is CONTROVERSY

Mel/Curufin: 10/10, impeccable vibes, hand in unlovable hand baybee!! I'm so excited for your failmarriage fic, omg. I don't even like most heterosexual pairings, but between you and tolkien I'm so invested. She's not only the first oc I've seen for Celebrimbor's mother that I found memorable and compelling, but she's just a really good character even as a standalone. In her, I understand perfectly why someone would choose to follow Feanor, as well as rooting for her redemption arc. You already know she's gonna be in my fic, and I'm genuinely so excited to write for her and explore my vision of post canon Mel.

Moryo/Tinda: I am conflicted!! My image of him is not quite right to get married. I love Tinda, I'm very interested in her as a character, but I'm not quite sure about her and Caranthir together.

Signy/Gloin: there's something about them that's so grounded. I love them, love them together, want nice things for them. They both have lovely development and character; Gloin might be named and have lines in the books, but he's still a speculative figure more than anything. You've made him so much more alive to me, just by building his relationship and history with Signy. Signy is like Eowyn to me; very precious and always in my heart. She's also going to be in my fic. I've thought about it, and I'm not sure exactly what it'll be, but I'm gonna do a nice thing for her (besides the obvious seeing Gimli again). She deserves it.

Me, watching you build create amazing, nuanced characters for me to fall in love with:

#ask game #personal

[kjmsupremacist]

Felix sweet boy baby angel but Christopher Bang is literally Satan? Idk if you saw but Hyunjin ratted him out on live and said the lyrics for Red Light were toned down. I don’t want to know. I don’t. He was already talking about edging and I don’t want to know. He can keep his Scorpio Venus and his Sag Mars away from me and everyone I love. I would give anything to know his rising if sign. It’s giving Earth but there’s so much air in his chart it’s hard to be sure. 🤖

i am so happy you sent me this ask because i have been looking for an excuse to talk about red lights. I sent leon and margot a seven minute long voice message when i was doing my research for my red lights-inspired fic like that's where i'm at.

First, yes, I saw Hyunjin's comments! that's what chris gets for trying to say hyunjin wrote all the lyrics in the first place. nice try, chris. also, his scorpio venus is SEXY. i won't be taking criticism on this opinion.

Now. Please see under the cut if you want to watch me dissect Red Lights -- both the lyrics and the MV.

so, credit where credit's due--I skimmed this and this reddit posts while I was doing my research.

now. we all know that on the surface, this song is about sex (and specifically bondage and edging—that much is clear). but, ah, how's the saying go? "everything is about sex except for sex, which is about power"? sure.

yeah, it's meant to be sexy. they did that for us and im still not sure if I want to kill them for it or thank them with my life. BUT, as they mentioned in the howl in harmony video, it's primarily a song about obsession.

The first reddit post does a great (albeit kind of aggressive) breakdown of the lyrics, where it becomes really clear that they're talking about the relationship they have with their work and the relationship they have with fans. In essence, the song is about how they want to give their lives and all their time to making more content for fans so that they will continue to receive love from us. The red lights are actually the recording light on a camera (hence the line “set the mic up”).

And so a relationship like the one depicted here is dark and intense, and yes—passionate and driven by love—but ultimately, it consumes itself in the vortex of its own desire, and then peters out into a sort of blank monotony—learned through repetition, a habitual reflex instead of a true reaction.

Then, the second reddit post goes on a deep dive of some of the symbolism seen in the MV—specifically, the use of kink. This is where it gets really fun.

We mostly see Hyunjin in shibari-style bondage. OP posits (and I agree) that he is meant to represent passion without discipline. The shibari ropes are tied messily (and so therefore dangerously) which is perfect for representing how often kink (and other obsessions) can devolve—you plunge in headfirst, but you are directionless except for the insistent tug in your gut that cries for more, more.

Chan, on the other hand, is seen primarily (esp in solo scenes) bound by heavy chains. He represents discipline with no passion. In the Howl in Harmony video, I believe he mentions that after a long day of practice, he'll still find himself in the recording studio, even though he's tired. He does what he has to on autopilot, because he knows he must, because it’s the only thing he feels he can do.

If Hyunjin is mania, then Chan is depression. The chains are GREAT symbolism because this dutiful march towards burnout and beyond is, as the lyrics suggest, stemming from a desire to keep receiving love (from fans)—that if you just work hard enough then no one will ever leave you. You wish to bind the person (or people) you love to you, but in the end the bonds only weigh you down.

So then the part where they’re tied together, back to back, at the end, shows when passion and discipline come into balance. And that’s creation for the love of creation while still maintaining a respect for yourself, the art, and your audience. (or idk. maybe they just thought we'd like to see them tied to one another. and they were right).

It's also fun because while we see Hyunjin and Chan both assume positions of domination and submission, it's clear Chan is meant to be the “dominant force” here (hence discipline). The reason we do see instances of Hyunjin in power (choking Chan, standing over him on the table) is because any somewhat healthy d/s relationship involves first the surrender of power. The dom is only perceived to be in power because the sub first relinquishes it them. So. You know.

I will say I'm not sure what to say about the edging theme (BNKSJDF) besides the obvious—almost giving you what you want, but not quite.

And finally, this is not part of either of those two reddit posts, but I was ENTHRALLED by the use of mirror and mirror-esque imagery throughout the MV and in the choreo. I love mirrors as a symbol so we're going to talk about that, too.

First and most obviously, it may be a bit on the nose. In art, mirrors and reflections are often used to show that there is a deeper meaning than what is clear on the surface. So this might have just been hyunchan going "hey! it's not just about sex!"

but I think there's more to it than that. Mirrors are often used as a vessel of truth—in some Chinese myths, for example, mirrors can repel demons, as they will show a demon’s true form. Or see the Little Mermaid—though Ursula managed to change her outward appearance, she was caught in her lie when another character (sebastian, i think?) saw her reflection in the mirror.

Additionally, one’s reflection used to be thought to contain one’s soul—which is why mirrors were covered in the home of person who had just passed, so they would not be trapped as a ghost in the world of the living.

For this reason, mirrors are often also considered dangerous. Think of Narcissus, for a start, who fell in love with his own reflection and sat at the water's edge, pining, until he fucking died. Or consider the following quote (which I love) from Fernando Pessoa:

“Man shouldn’t be able to see his own face – there’s nothing more sinister. Nature gave him the gift of not being able to see it, and of not being able to stare into his own eyes. Only in the water of rivers and ponds could he look at his face. And the very posture he had to assume was symbolic. He had to bend over, stoop down, to commit the ignominy of beholding himself. The inventor of the mirror poisoned the human heart.”

We use mirrors to watch ourselves watching ourselves (and the Margaret Atwood who lives in our heads cries “male fantasies, male fantasies! You are you own voyeur!”). We perform for the mirror—often what we see in the mirror is not actually how we are seen by others! We think we may find truth there, when in reality it is a distortion. Ties itself up really nicely, I think.

In any case, this really goes well with the theme of obsession in the song—staring in the mirror asking, what do others see? What is wrong about me? What can I do better? The idea of looking in the mirror to seek what others see, both positive and negative, is common throughout. And I think their use of mirrored choreo (esp when it seems like one of them is the reflection!!), as well as mirror placement on the set of the mv, and ESPECIALLY the lovely bit at the end where they both stand staring carefully at their own reflections, all work to drive that theme home.

and i don't even know how to touch on all the color symbolism (when it changes between color and b&w?? the palette being overwhelmingly yellow and red and black???), or the lens filters (warping, blurring, etc), or the way they superimposed pieces of the video on top of other pieces, or the use of that one stark white background—without writing a fucking dissertation (and this is already a ridiculously long post) so i'll just stop here.

This is all to say, maybe what they meant was that the lyrics were a lot more aggressive about these themes and they were asked to tone them down to keep it neutral.

or maybe they're just sexy, sexy motherfuckers and their managers bonked them on the head and sent them to horny jail.

#obviously that mirror quote is a little stupid but at the same time i do think it's so real. like so real. #anyway this is very long but I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS. #this is what i was doing a few afternoons ago.... just compiling this. #just... meta hours with xiami #stray kids #bang chan #hyunjin #red lights #mail #🤖 anon

[ariasune]

The Soul of Queerbaiting

I don't think a straight person writes the content used for queerbaiting. I think queer creators write it and other people sell it. I think that's why I keep buying it.

Personal piece, creative non-fic on the queer coding, subtext and why I’m a fish on a hook.

I think sometimes this is the soul of queerbaiting. That below, beneath and through every eerie example I’ve known, there is someone like me. The liminal space of the closet; edited and altered; the performance and the price. 

The flesh of queerbaiting is the product, is the polish, and the shine. The place where I see iridescent glimpses of myself. The body of it is narcissus; the mirage-reflection I reach for, dip my fingers through glassy water, drown down within it. The promise of my image, and the surface tension that the promise is only light painting incidental pictures. Only the fool I’ve made of myself. Slipping into the stream.

But the soul. The soul of it is mine.  I’m sure of it, that it’s earnest, that it is mine. That it is people like me, with fears and joys like mine.

That it is Sturgeon writing Spock quivering with need and anger, all emotion held in leashed check to a rigid culture. Passion’s mastery. The greek-gold of his captain’s bared chest, cut open under lirpa, a vision that is meant for the unseen gaze of a woman, and not for him. But still he burns, still he hungers, still he wrestles with love as though he wrestles with his own skin.

And all of it perishing with a man's death. All the fire out, the forge cold and spent and Jim’s body, t’hy’la’s body slack below him.

It is the one thing I want and know I can never have; an angel’s parting glass to a father’s pride and shame. Beren’s Castiel’s confession to a Righteous Man. His love and its fall from grace; its surrender to the abyss. The final drink, the last round of whiskey drained empty. The warmth of want against the cold of farewell and the quiet it left in his place.

Of all the faith that e’er I had, and all the harm that e’er I done, alas it falls unto my lot, that I must go and you must not.

And it is the buried love. It is Hayes interring devotion and longing in the earth, and it is Sugar and Daphne sharing a train berth in breathless delight. The dancing line of gender and passion and self, the tangled fingertips. It is a moral statement that rings guiltless across my great combined soul, the one understood, the one I know is not my fault!

My love, my love taken six foot below! 

And I know that I am blameless. That tragedy is beauty. I know my longing is a requiem, and my yearning an eulogy. I know this is my song, sung for the likes of me, by those who have heard its same summons.

The soul of queerbaiting was written for the likes of me, and it possesses an unwilling flesh, a mind that loves so thin and fine, but the heart of it is mine. This, I think, is why I touch the water’s surface again, again and again. This, I think, is why I slip, not in Icarus sun-singed and golden, but a delicate, dying bloom bowed between the riverbed and the light.

I know you are me. I heard. And I reached out to hold you close.

#writing #personal piece #aria

[praycambrian]

hey! i have had a GREAT time discovering your fic this year and, since i haven't left half as many comments as i would've wanted, i thought i'd try and make up for it with some end of year writing asks (if you're still doing them). so 13 and 24 because i love a rec, 14 because it sounds fun, and 21 to give you an excuse to reflect on the (deservedly) nice things people have said about your writing. take care and thanks for sharing such banging stories!

STOP I’M BLUSHING. that’s so sweet, friend, thank you <3

(the meme in question, which i am absolutely still doing because i am definitely not above preening like narcissus at the water’s edge)

13. favorite writing song/artist/album of this year: a somewhat tough question because i don’t usually listen to music when i’m actively writing because it makes my brain do the equivalent of the trolley problem except with way more flashing lights and klaxons. HOWEVER when i do listen to music while writing, it’s probably Daniel Bachman (my beloved) whose guitar and drone work just....settles me and energizes me at the same time, and also has such a phenomenal sense of place. (it took a lot of strength of will not to include like six of his songs on my ridiculous justified playlist.)

14. a fic you didn’t expect to write: lol a magic the gathering fic that came out of me in like twenty frenzied minutes and which is and will likely remain my least popular work. (it’s about making friends <3)

21. most memorable comment/review: also a very tough question. i have gotten no end of lovely comments from my dear justies that have made me clutch my face in delight. but i have to go with this one comment on On this ground that was just so sweet and effusive and thoughtful and attentive, but which also arrived on a really tough day for me personally. i ended up crying on the bathroom floor for an hour for like, unrelated reasons but i was trying to cheer myself up and i read this comment for like the fifth time and then showed it to my partner and then THEY cried because it was so sweet and special. i felt like the person got what i didn’t even fully realize i was trying to say with that story and it came at exactly the right time. anyway faintlystrange if you’re reading this i love you

24. favorite fic you read this year: wow roxane you really picked all the hardest questions on this list huh! i will cheat and give multiple answers, one new fic and one old fic: a kind of dwell and welcome, obviously, because it consumed me for literal weeks (@leupagus i would apologize for continuing to fill your mentions about this story but it’s only what you deserve). but i also reread some old favorites, including The Bushwick Avenue Stomp, which is a perfect subtle joyous nervewracking little novel that i frequently forget is actually a fic about suits, i show i briefly and casually watched like ten years ago. 

#memery #my fic #long post

[tessiete]

Author Interview Game

Thank you for the tag @kckenobi - Really enjoying these!

Name: tessiete

Fandoms: Right now, we doing Star Wars. And Star Wars is the fandom I’ve been the most prolific in. In the past, though, I’ve written for Star Trek: AOS, X-Files (1 abandoned fic - don’t go there!), Teen Wolf, Kingsman, ER, The Good Wife, and The Haunting of Hill House.

Where you post: Everything is HERE on AO3, our shared home.

Most popular oneshot: A Better Grace

Okay, this surprised even me. Is The Good Wife a really popular fandom? Or am I a really unpopular writer? (It’s the latter). It’s also funny, because like so many of my fics, this is Crack on Malicious Compliance. A prompt - actually possibly @pebblysand? - made a joke about Will Gardner falling in love with himself. So I wrote him as Narcissus…

I thought it was funny XD

Most popular multichap: One Human Thought

This is a Saved From Slavery baby Obi-Wan AU. Like A Better Grace, this was ALSO Crack on Malicious Compliance. @lieutenantmittens wanted a story about Obi-Wan Kenobi as a bed slave of Qui-Gon Jinn, and like...this is what happened. Technically, that is the impression Obi-Wan’s previous captor was convinced Qui-Gon was taking him for. But Qui-Gon would never. And so instead, we have this Jedi Temple as Hogwarts, Obi-Wan “Not a Jedi” Kin’Obi, Father/Son Growing Together fic.

It got away from me...yeah.

Favorite story you’ve written: The Eternal Spring

My baby. My child. The only story for SW that I’ve ever written that I’ve taken seriously. It’s a Padme Lives AU which sees her travelling to Tatooine with a severely traumatised Obi-Wan Kenobi, and her twins. She and Obi-Wan are reeling, and unable to reconcile to the point that after they fight one night, he runs away in a misguided effort to kill the Emperor and end things, leaving her on her own. She gets her shit together, puts a bounty out on Obi-Wan to be brought in warm, hires Boil to fill it, who gets help from Rex and Bo-Katan, who assign him a guide/pilot in Korkie (MY BOY!), and together they drag Obi-Wan’s dramatic ass back to life.

It’s a reimagining of the myth of Psyche and Eros. It’s the first fic I wrote poetry for, the first fic I made con-langs for, and yeah...I just……….it’s probably the closest to how I imagine my Star Wars.

Fic you were nervous to post: A Summer Swift. It’s mine. It’s still under anonymous. But it was the first time I wrote smut (all, like, two paragraphs), and I just...rampant sex IRL is Not My Thing, and it’s not what I go looking for in fic, but I - AGAIN the malicious compliance - promised to write a “realistic coffee shop AU” and was determined to show how depressing this romanticised venue really is.

Definitely get the MOST outrage for that, but not for the reason I thought. Apparently, perpetual mediocrity and eternity in a menial service job depresses people. Who knew. The fact that it’s probably the closest reflection of my actual darkest fears maybe is what makes it...effective?

Of the fic publicly posted under my own name - Everything Grows. It’s an a/b/o QuiObi fic I did for a challenge with @lieutenantmittens because I wanted to see if I could do it. It was...a strange journey. We did a lot of research, asking people what tropes they liked, and reading as many SW a/b/o fics as possible, and by the end, honestly, we were more exhausted than Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon. 10/10 Learning experience. Don’t think I personally nailed it - I would not have gotten anywhere without @lieutenantmittens who did so much of the heavy lifting - and it didn’t really sell me on the trope, but I’m glad I proved I could do it, you know?

How you choose your titles: What’s the theme? → Google “quotes about fatherhood/light/royalty/inheritance/love/hope” → Insert TITLE of ⅔ of the words from that quote.

Ex. Everything Grows (rounder and weirder) = “Everything grows rounder and wider and weirder, and I sit here in the middle of it all and wonder who in the world you will turn out to be.” - Carrie Fisher

One Human Thought = “How DARE you and the rest of your barbarians set fire to my library? Play conqueror all you want, Mighty Caesar! Rape, murder, pillage thousands, even millions of human beings! But neither you nor any other barbarian has the right to destroy one human thought!” - Cleopatra (1963)

The Eternal Spring = “Hope springs eternal in the human breast.” - Alexander Pope

Also poetry. Like…...99% of what I write revolves around poetry. Which is ironic bc I don’t love poetry. I’m not educated in it. But…???

Do you outline? No, not really. I usually wait to come up with the opening line in my head, and then once I have that, I just go. HOWEVER, especially with One Human Thought - since it had no concept when I first conceived it - I’ve found it SO helpful, even necessary, to talk through basic ideas in DMs with my loves. It really speeds up my writing.

Complete: 20/22 of my fics are complete. (Fffff to my X-Files fic)

In progress: One Human Thought. Only, like….three more chapters, I think? Coming down to the wire. Does the structure worry me? Yes. Why is the darkest night of the soul SO close to the climax and resolution???? I don’t know.

Padme’s Chapbook - a zine I’m doing that’s a collection of poems Padme has curated and collected from amongst her friends, with three sort of meta-narratives as well.

Coming soon/not yet started: Silent and So Near. It’s my WWI/Clone Wars fusion fic where Qui-Gon lives, Anakin is not prematurely knighted, and Obi-Wan goes to the frontlines alone. It doesn’t go well. (But it ends...happily?). 

And then an Obitine Double Date fic, with Obi-Wan and Anakin obliviously flirting their way through a Senatorial gala while Satine and Padme run interference and drink.

Prompts: I love prompts but I don’t always do them. The prompts I love are the ones I can twist - the bed slave, obi-wan dressed as padme, falling in love with yourself, sad coffee shop, etc. 

Upcoming Work You’re Most Excited About: Silent and So Near. I love WWI and I’m excited to see if there’s a way of drawing thematic parallels between the idea of the death of a Belle Epoch, of the end of gentlemanly warfare, of war by attrition, of the Industrial Age and the mechanisation of war….all that. 

No pressure tags: @tree-scapes @pebblysand @lieutenantmittens @pomiar @acatbyanothername93 talk to me! ....if you want!

#text post #writing

[sparklepines]

Howdy hey! I'm rereading your stories for the billionth time because that are so amazing and I was curious which one or ones are your personal favorites? Can you tell us one fav thing about each one maybe?

Oh gosh!! Asakdjkj that’s such a cool question!! I do have a special place in my heart for the whole Narcissus Gaze series, tho! Gosh this might get a little bit long but let’s see an order of personal favourites… 

WARNING: SPOILERS IF YOU HAVEN’T READ!

Narcissus Gaze series - I love their raw passion, their obsession for one another. It was the first long story I ever wrote and remains one of my favourite concepts. The idea of having a shadow, your reflection, falling in love with you is maddening. It’s intense and their love there is the most powerful of all of the stories. It’s violent and possessive, they will tear anything apart to be together. I loved writing their time in a mere bedroom but also Italy! The tv show Hannibal inspired me back in the third season, in Florence. It was so fascinating to me, writing someone depending on the other, writing this loss of privacy and yet succumbing to it. Seán changed for Anti, because of Anti. It’s what really started it all and the end of the year reminds me of them now, NG really has a piece of my heart.

Unique - I love this universe and I am so happy with the title! It was really hard to come up with the whole thing, though! I had headaches, trying to create a language and names for creatures, planets… The tv show The Expanse was a good inspiration for me and I loved creating the environments. Space itself is cativating and mysterious, so I wanted to capture that in a story. The music from Interstellar was awesome for that and I adore how their love is sweet. Protective. My favourite scene is when they just admire their bodies with pure innocence, trying to understand a new feeling. I loved their connection there and those special words. Another favourite moment of mine is when they are in Canthala, after visiting that small village, and it’s raining. I can perfectly see Seán looking up at Anti, raindrops streaming down his helmet. I loved writing that fear of losing something you love and not knowing what to do.

Choking on Flames - Officially the longest one I wrote all together and I just loved writing my own version of Beauty and the Beast. I loved writing their misunderstanding and building their trust. It was my first time having a baby in a story too so that was pretty fun hahah. I searched so much and read so many articles about babies, what to do in each month and etc. I was trying my best to be as Slow Burn as possible, it got frustrating in a good way hah! The whole story feels… like an afternoon with some baked bread and tea. Idk, I wanted it to feel homey and I think I got that.

the stars in your eyes, they sing for me - I’m a sucker for mythology, so I wanted to write my own! I wanted to make this feel as dreamy as possible, like the real myths out there. I know it has a bittersweet ending and it crushed a lot of emotions, but I love that. I love the fact that The Nothing has to go on with his eternal life. The prophecies in myths/greek stories/etc end with a tragedy. The person tries to change the prophecy, sending their son away, things like that… But it happens anyways. I wanted to express that in my way, giving my myth my own tragedy. I love how ethereal it is! I have a sweet spot whenever it comes to writing metaphors/ethereal stuff.

Tearing Down Doors of Time - Although it’s a vent one-shot, I loved writing Anti’s point of view to a more real world. I liked writing his nightmares and self-loathing. Writing angst/panic is really fun to me, I really enjoy that! Having that uncertainty in the air, the What-Ifs and In-Betweens, that sense of losing something and never daring to try… It really hits close to home. I liked ripping a piece of Anti’s life, of having him lose his ground. So many years passed and he was forgotten. It crushed him and is Seán’s fault. The person he loved the most. I love how that story hurts.

Drown Me In Your Arms - Concept is nice and I had tons of fun writing that. Seán is a leader there and it was lovely to write Anti courting the captain. Nothing really special or new to see in an AU like that, though? Definitely more light than what I write now hah. Still, loved writing his transformation and their mating ritual.

Of Burning Stars on Emerald Rain - I feel like I didn’t give my all in this one and it was really stressful. I don’t know why but I think the timing was off with me, so I feel bad for ending it sooner. The game Red Dead Redemption 2 was the biggest inspiration and I love western, so it was fun to try that out! Started as a self-indulgent fic, that’s why so much porn, but then I got really confused as to where I was going. My favourite thing in that one is their backwards relationship. I wanted to give a bigger meaning to a kiss.

Between Copper and Scarlet Snow - I love the title I came up with! I really try to give meanings to every single one of them and I love the visual of this AU. Another one that is nothing really new, except the plot twist near the end. The scenarios were one of my favourites, a cabin in the woods…. Snow, something that always connect them in stories. A lake and long ginger hair. It was fun and I wanted to surprise everyone in the end, running away from the obvious.

This is a big o’l ramble but!!! I got so excited asdkjaskdaj

#janti #my writing #this was so cool to answer to!!! thank u!!! #anonymous

[pitch-pearl-void]

Why are you so much into pitch pearl

If you mean how can I ship it as much as I do (especially after so many years) it’s because I’m writing/posting a multi-chapter fic that’s currently at 90k+ words. Idk if you’re a writer, but it takes a lot of passion and dedication, especially when you’re a slow writer like me, and if I couldn’t find a way to fall in love with my own story and ship repeatedly whenever my interest started to wain, the story would never get completed.

If you mean why am I so into a ship where Danny dates himself, the short answer is I don’t.

If I shipped Danny with himself, he’d be Narcissus trying to kiss his own reflection. He’d be duplicating himself for threesome sex with Sam. He’d be putting his own desires and safety above everything and everyone else because he’s the most important person in his life the way an actual narcissist would.

He doesn’t do any of that in Pitch Pearl art and fanfic because that’s not what the ship is about. So it’s hilarious when people try to make me cringe for liking it because they’re not even hitting the mark.

I’m here for FentonxPhantom the same way I’m anywhere for a HumanxMonster ship. I come for the HeroxLoser story and stay for the internal conflict and psychological crisis of one person becoming two. I like that they would understand each other better than any friend or sibling but are given characters that are completely different from each other. I like to lean on the literal term and myth behind soulmate. I like playing with the ideas of yin and yang.

People are confused/alarmed with the ship because they know Danny is supposed to be Phantom because that’s the whole premise of the show, but in a Pitch Pearl fic or art piece? He’s not. Sometimes he never was. Fenton and Phantom are treated like completely different characters in Pitch Pearl, and that’s honestly what I’m here for.

Screw your canon (:

#danny phantom #pitch pearl #as much as i love the show and danny's struggle with being a half ghost superhero #i like to push the boundaries of what's possible in fiction #including but not limited to what makes a person who they are #the only criticism i'll agree with is that there are just toooo many ways to ship it #but that can also be it's strength so it's not a very strong criticism #(i'm also fully capable and willing to just ramble about my favorite parts of the ship #but i'm reallly very sick right now #ughghghg)

[pokii-jonas]

Purrfectly Virgil : A New Story Emerges :D

OVERALL FIC SUMMARY -- Virgil has always been different from Logan, Roman, and Patton which they have all grown used to and accept.

However, Virgil may be a bit more different than they originally thought.

If only they knew...

(aka, the cat virgil fic no one asked for :p)

Chapter Summary: Something new and unusual is taking place in Thomas's mind. What's happening?

Chapter’s Characters: Virgil, Patton, Roman, Logan, Thomas, Deceit

AO3

Chapter 1          Previous          Next

CHAPTER WARNINGS

sympathetic deceit

PLEASE TELL ME IF I FORGOT SOMETHING!!!

It was three in the morning when Deceit was finally ready.

She stepped back with a sigh from the mirror and smiled at her reflection, happy with what she saw.

The dress and shoes fit perfectly, which didn’t shock her in the slightest. Virgil had always been good at that sort of thing.

She was also happy to note that the dress did indeed pair very nicely with her hat and cape, in both the shape and the color, and her elbow length yellow opera gloves.

Her hat had been placed to the side of her head so as not to fully cover her hair that she had spent many painful hours putting into soft curls that danced delicately around her face.

Her make-up, however, was what brought the entire look together she thought.

Gold and green eye shadow paired with a highlighter bright enough to kill and cheekbones that could cut a hoe, all held together with a dark red glossy lip.

She smiled at herself as she felt her dysphoria melt away.

Giving a small turn, she laughed as her dress lifted up with the air and flowed softly and delicately around her.

Stopping for a second to let her head stop spinning, she gracefully walked over to her stereo to put on some music.

She couldn’t remember the last time she felt this good.

She would definitely consider herself as more laid back when it came to fashion, usually opting for no makeup and sweats, but when she did dress up she always did it with a bang and went all out!

In the middle of the night when her host was most likely asleep so she wouldn’t get summoned, accidentally or on purpose.

There was no way she wanted the others or Thomas to see her like this. That was too personal. Why give them another reason to outcast her?

Though, of course she could care less about what they thought of her. Really, that was something Virgil would be more afraid of. Deceit didn’t care though.

She was fine. Really. The fact that she was a ‘she’ was just personal, that’s it.

So as she was putting in a One Direction CD(another thing no one needed to know about), she couldn’t help the scream that left her as she found herself suddenly standing in Thomas’s living room with everyone else.

“God damn it.” she whispered to herself, closing her eyes.

Taking a deep breath to get herself together, she opened her eyes again to face the others with her usual front of cold composure.

Deciding to ignore the four surprised gazes on her, she addressed the second matter on her mind.

“Thomas, it isn’t past three in the morning, why aren’t you up?” Deceit asked smoothly, crossing her arms over her chest while letting a small smile play on her lips.

Opening his mouth to speak, all he was able to let out in his surprised state was, “I, uh, what?”

Deceit tsked and was about to say something else when Roman finally seemed to find his tongue.

“Is it okay to be attracted to someone who is technically the same person as you?” he asked, incredibly matter-of-factly, while looking Deceit up and down.

Deceit felt a dark blush tinge her cheeks, but she refused to look away from Roman.

“No, not at all, Narcissus,” she said. “Especially since you’ve seemed to enjoy my company so much every other time I’ve popped up.”

Roman huffed, but before he could say anything, Thomas finally spoke up.

“Why are you dressed like that anyway?” he said, also taking a moment to look Deceit up and down.

Deceit’s blush deepened.

“Yes, let’s talk about what I do with my free time rather than what you are doing up at three a.m.” she said sarcastically, rolling her eyes.

“It’s my fault.” Virgil suddenly said, looking down at his feet and pulling the sleeves of his hoodie over his hands.

“Oh? That’s shocking.” Deceit said, giving Virgil a small smirk when he glared at her.

“So, what doesn’t have to so tweaked, Virge?” Deceit said casually, walking over to the couch and sitting down gracefully, crossing her legs.

Virgil followed and sat down opposite to her on the couch, curling his legs up to his chest.

“I don’t know,” he mumbled. “ Something just doesn’t feel right.”

Deceit frowned at this.

“What does?” she asked, momentarily forgetting they weren’t alone.

Virgil sighed.

“I don’t know, but something feels off and I don’t know what.”

Deceit’s frown deepened. Virgil had his paranoid moments, obviously, but usually they were based around something.

What was happening?

“But you are anxiety. The feeling of anxiety doesn’t always have a purpose.” Logan said, finally speaking up for the first time since Deceit appeared.

“Even so, it’s unusual.” Deceit replied, still deep in thought as she brought a hand up to rub her temple.

“What? Even for speaking in opposites, what you just said makes no sense.” Logan said, causing Deceit to look up at him.

“What?” she asked as she watched him study her curiously.

“Well, if you speak in opposites, like you’ve led us to believe, then what you just said was, ‘Even so, it’s usual,’ which sounds rather odd.” he quietly mumbled, however after the words left his mouth, his eyes widened slightly.

“Which means you can speak the truth. You asking ‘what?’ so genuinely proves it. If you could really only speak opposites, you would have said something along the lines of, ‘I know what you just said.’”

Deceit froze as she watched Logan.

“Shit,” she mumbled.

“Yeah, fine. You got me. Thanks for taking away my thing.” she snapped, crossing her arms.

Tossing her her head to the side to look at Virgil.

“When did this feeling come about?” she asked gently, not bothering to speak in opposites anymore.

Virgil hummed in thought for a second before saying, “A few weeks ago. Right after Christmas. I don’t know what’s happening, but the feeling is getting stronger.

“Oh!” Patton exclaimed from the steps, causing everyone to turn and look at him.

“What’s up padre?” Roman asked, yawning slightly.

“I… This was sitting next to be for some reason.” Patton said, confused, as he held up what looked to be an origami Pegasus.

“What?” Thomas asked, voicing what everyone else was thinking as well.

“I wonder how that-” Logan started to say when Virgil suddenly gave a jarring scream, causing everyone to jump away from him.

“Virgil, what’s wrong?” Deceit asked concerned, turning to look at Virgil who had managed to jump onto the back of the couch and was hissing at a spot on the floor.

Turning her gaze to look where Virgil was looking, she couldn’t help but let out a laugh.

There on the floor, for no apparent reason, was a cucumber.

“Virge, honey. It’s just a cucumber.” she said, incredibly amused, as she stood and picked up the offending object.

Virgil only hissed in response, but Deceit was already distracted as she felt the object in her hand.

It wasn’t even a cucumber, it was-

“AWWWWWWWWWW, HE’S LIKE A CAT!!!” Patton exclaimed happily, jumping off the steps and bouncing up and down excitedly.

Virgil’s face immediately flushed a bright crimson and he jumped back down to his spot on the couch, still wearily eying the cucumber in Deceit’s hands.

“There is no reason to be afraid of cucumbers, Virgil, wha-” Logan started, only to be cut off by Deceit saying, “It’s not a cucumber.”

The room went silent as everyone stared at Deceit with incredulous looks.

“Are you speaking weirdly again or…” Romas asked, looking between her and the rest of the room.

“It’s not a cucumber.” she repeated, grabbing both ends and ripping it in half.

“It’s paper.”

The silence continued on, deafeningly so as everyone watched what was once a cucumber disintegrate before their very eyes until there was nothing left.

“I… I’m sorry, what?” Roman said quietly, his eyes wide and unstaring at where the ‘cucumber’ used to be.

“Am I just sleep deprived? I didn’t just see that, right?” Thomas asked, rubbing his eyes and looking to Logan.

“Possibly, but you aren’t that sleep deprived. You shouldn’t be at the point of hallucinations.”

There was silence once more as everyone tried to figure out what was even happening.

Virgil was the first to break the quiet.

“We should go to sleep. Staying up later won’t help Thomas function tom-today.” he said, standing up and stretching.

Logan was next.

“Virgil is correct. If Thomas sleeps, then we can make more rational decisions tomorrow.”

“Fine, I’ll be the first to leave then. Ta-ta for now, peasants!” Roman declared, promptly sinking out as he tried to hold back a yawn.

“Yeah, I’m pretty tuckered as well.” Patton said next, placing the origami pegasus on Thomas’s coffee table.

“Night, kiddos!” he exclaimed, waving happily as he too sunk out.

“In that case, I believe I’ll go next.” Logan said, turning to address Deceit quickly.

“I presume you’ll want to join our discussion tomorrow, yes?”

She gave a curt nod and Logan returned it.

“We will call on you when it’s time then.” he said, sinking out without another word.

“Okayyyy, I’m going upstairs. You two do what you want.” Thomas said, running a hand through his hair and walking towards the steps.

Once he was out of sight, Deceit turned to Virgil.

“You wanna sleep in my room tonight?” she asked, knowing full well Virgil was probably quite shaken by everything that was happening.

Plus, she liked sleeping with Virgil. He was so warm, she didn’t even need her electric blanket.

She would probably still use it though.

To her delight, Virgil gave her a small smile and nodded.

Sinking down together to her room, Deceit gave a quick snap of her fingers and her makeup was off and her sweats were on.

Virgil followed suit and the both climbed into the bed, Deceit curling herself up to Virgil as he turned off the light.

While they both happily drifted off to bed, the strange events of that night were still fresh on their minds.

What in the world was happening in Thomas’s mind?

Next

-*-*-*-*-*-

SOOOOOOOOO :D

i had an idea for a plot and um... yeah, i'm getting there ;p

chapters will mainly focus on Virgil's pov, but Deceit just really fit in here i thought so i went with it :p

i hope you guys enjoy the direction this fic is taking!!!

ALSO I DIDN'T RE READ THIS AFTER WRITING, SO SORRY FOR ERRORS BUT IT'S 3 AM AND I NEEDA SLEEP OMG IT'S A SCHOOL NIGHT, I'M A DISASTER

TAGLIST:

@avocados26  @sherlock-lives-on-bakerstreet

#PurrfectlyVirgilFic #cat virgil #ts virgil #thomas sanders sanders sides #virgil sanders #sanders sides fic #ts fandom #ts fanfic #thomas sanders sides #thomas sanders #ts anxiety #thomas sanders anxiety #thomas sanders virgil #deceit sanders #sympathetic deceit sanders #sympathetic deceit #sympathetic deciet sanders #sympathetic deceit fic #sympathetic deciet #female deceit sanders #female deceit #thomas sanders deceit #logan sanders #patton sanders #fanders #ts logan #ts patton #magenta the printer #percy the printer #is that too much of a spoiler?

[thecagedsong]

“The myth of Narcissus is so dumb. Who would spend so much time staring at their reflection that they literally starve to death?”

 - I say, at 3 AM, having skipped lunch and dinner, thirty pages into writing my latest fic 

Bring the whole “art is an extension of yourself” into a different light....

#greek mythology #narcissus #my life right now #writing #self-care everyone #be good to yourself #it's narcissism #but narcissism that screws myself over and not anyone else

[underoossss]

Freaky Friday - Part One

Part Two

Peter and the reader, friends since they were kids, wake up one Friday morning in the body of the other one, not knowing who did it or how it happened, they have to go through the day as the other until they figure out how to switch each other back. What they don’t know is that the key to switching back to their normal-selves is to admit their true feelings for each other. 

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader 

Warnings: nada 

A/N: this is my first Peter fic and I’ve been nervous to post it but here it is! It wasn’t a request, it just came to me one night and I started writing. This will have two parts and I hope you guys like it!

Sometimes you wake up and immediately know it’s not your day. Well, now imagine that feeling and waking up realizing you’re not you.

I groaned as the alarm next to me went off signaling another day of high school, I rolled over to my left but didn’t find it there. What the hell? My alarm is always to my left. Opening my eyes, I looked to my right and found the clock but that wasn’t my alarm clock. The sound was annoying me so extending my arm I promptly shut it off gasping when I saw my hand. It wasn’t mine! I know this hand, why do I have Peter’s hand!?

Taking a deep breath, I looked down at my body not helping the scream that left my mouth at what I saw. This is Peter Parker’s body, with the nerdy Star Wars PJ’s and all. The door suddenly flew open making me jump as Aunt May stepped inside in panic, “What happened!?” She said out of breath.

“Uh… I-I had a,” I stopped talking and started panicking at Peter’s voice coming out of my mouth. I’m losing my mind.

“A what honey?” Aunt May stepped closer, concern written all over her face as she ran a hand through my hair.

“A nightmare. Y-yeah, a nightmare, that’s why I screamed.” I nodded mostly to myself before looking up at her and giving her what I hoped was a reassuring smile.

“Alright. Now hurry up, you gotta get to class. Do you want some toast?” She asked as she reached the doorway and I nodded again moving to seat by the edge of the bed.

 “Thanks, May.” I said as she closed the door before running to find Peter’s phone. After a quick search I found it on his desk, unlocking it and finding my contact name at once. Y/N and a heart emoji next to it, my heart almost jumped out of my chest. Peter has a heart next to my name? No! Focus right now, have farfetched dreams later. I hit the camera icon and waited as the facetime call connected, gasping again when I saw myself answering the call.

 “Holy fuck you’re me!” I whispered shouted

 “And I’m talking to myself!” He shouted back.

 “Peter what the hell is going on! Why am I you and you are me?!”

 “I I don’t know, I went to sleep last night in my room and woke up in yours!” He ran a hand through his hair wincing when his fingers got stuck in what was probably a knot. Long hair problems.

“The same happened to me! Did we drink something? W-why are we switched.” I started pacing Peter’s room trying to calm down. We can’t solve this over facetime and in pajamas, we also have class. The freaking out will have to wait a while.

“Ok here’s what we’re gonna do. Breakfast and then we meet up downstairs like always before we go to school.” I closed my eyes letting out a sigh before looking back at Peter er… myself. No, let’s just go with Peter, that’s Peter.

“Alright,” Peter said frowning, probably sensing my unease about this whole thing, “Meet me in 10?”

I nodded giving him a smile, “Yeah, see you in ten. And please brush my hair before going out, it’s a bird’s nest.”

 Peter let out a laugh and nodded, “Will do.”

 I went to the bathroom after the call disconnected, immediately losing my breath at my reflection. There in the mirror the beautiful brown eyes of Peter Parker were staring at me making me fall in love with him all over again. I shook my head and took the toothbrush along with the toothpaste. I soaked it in water before closing my eyes and starting to brush my teeth, knowing that if I kept staring at Peter’s face in the mirror I wouldn’t get anything done.

Ten minutes later I was saying bye to aunt May and kissing her cheek before rushing out the door and downstairs to wait for Peter who still wasn’t there. After a couple of minutes, I heard rushing footsteps and turned around to Peter struggling to put my hair up in a ponytail.

“How do you do this?” He asked me with a hair tie between his teeth making me laugh.

“Come here, I’ll help,” I beckoned him over and took my hair in my hands splitting it in three and braiding it loosely. “There,” I said nudging his arm so he can pass me the hair tie, “All set. Let’s go.”

“Thanks.” He gave me a small smile which I returned.

“No problem.”

We started walking to school like we always did, side by side. We stayed silent for a while before Peter cleared his throat.

“Any ideas on how this happened?” He asked looking down at the ground and I shook my head.

“Any ideas on how to switch us back?” I glanced towards him and saw him shake his head no with a sigh. 

“We’ll have to pretend to be each other until we find a way to switch us back, then.” I sighed this time as we stopped waiting for the light to change. How did we get into this mess.

“Hey,” Peter whispered making me focus back on him, “We’ll find a way.” His eyes were soft trying to reassure me and I nodded. Let’s hope so, I feel like Narcissus being in love with the guy in my reflection.

“Can’t tell Ned though, he’ll freak out more than we did this morning.” I nodded again knowing well enough how hyped Ned would be if he found out, which isn’t always a good thing.

Soon enough we were in the hallway walking towards Ned who was waiting for Peter by his locker.

“Hey guys!” He smiled at both of us.

“Hey,” I said trying to act like Peter as much as I could and giving him one of those ‘bro hugs’ they greeted each other with.

“Hey Ned,” Peter said next to me moving to put the combination on his locker pausing slightly when he realized his mistake. “Ha! Told you I knew your combination, Pete.” He smiled at me and I gotta say, smooth save but still unusual.

“And I’m pretty sure I told you that I know yours too,” I chuckled checking the schedule on the door before taking out the Spanish and English Lit books.

“Of course you know it. (Y/N) used to forget her combination all the time remember? We learned it to help her if it happened.”

I blushed remembering my clumsiness. “Yeah but I still remember it,” I nudged Ned’s shoulder trying to look casual but I’m sure I was failing horribly at that.

 Peter smiled pointing over his shoulder to where my locker was, “Prove it.”

 I closed his locker and walked towards mine putting in the combination and opening it easily. “Told you,” I said looking at Ned who was narrowing his eyes at both of us.

 “Ok… you’re acting weird today, more than usual.” He told the both of us. What? I thought we were doing great!

 The bell rang causing us to part ways, Peter and Ned went to History while I walked towards English Lit. My phone buzzed with a text so I took it out pausing my walking for a bit to see the notification on the screen.

 I don’t walk like that – Y/N

 What is that supposed to mean? I looked down at my feet, before walking again not noticing anything weird.

 I sent Peter a shrugging emoji before I sat down and waited for the class to start. English went on normally, since Peter was just as good as me at it. The problem, however, came in Spanish because I sucked at Spanish and Peter well… Peter being good at Spanish was an understatement.

 I was so embarrassed when every time the teacher needed an answer, everyone looked at me expecting me to have it. Or when the teacher made me answer and I tripped over the words. I sure as hell didn’t make speaking Spanish sound sexy like Peter does, I must sound like a dying cat.

The nightmare that was this class ended eventually and the bell for lunch rang. I thanked that Spanish was over almost a thousand times under my breath before gathering my things and starting to walk out of the classroom.

 “Penis Parker!!” Flash said blocking my way on the door, “Nice work in there. You sucked!” He started laughing.

I glared at him. It’s no secret that it has always bothered me how much Flash bullies Peter and I always give him my piece of mind. My blood boiled so much once, that I ended in detention for giving Flash a black eye during freshman year. That said, I wasn’t about let him bother me in this case with even the slightest comment.

“I’m guessing bilingualism isn’t a requisite for the Stark internship. Or maybe it is, and this is proof of why you don’t actually have an internship in the first place.” He starts stepping forward, trying to look tough but I step forward instead of backwards.

“Actually it’s not. But not being an asshole is the main pre-requisite so I’m afraid you wouldn’t even qualify, asshole.” I take another step forward giving him a mock frown before glaring again, “Now move out of my way before I lose my patience, trust me it’s not fun.”  

 He was so taken aback that he wordlessly stepped aside. “Nice choice.” I said smiling before walking out and going to the cafeteria where I met Ned.

 “Hey man.” He smiled from his spot in line.

 “Hey.” I greeted back, stepping behind him and grabbing a food tray. “How was history?” I asked, making small talk and wanting to know what I missed today.

 “Pretty interesting, we started world religions today,” He said while we picked our food, “I thought Y/N would be excited but she seemed bored during the whole class.”

 “But she loves history!” I tried to sound surprised but I knew fully well that Peter hated that class. Honestly, I felt a little better knowing that Peter wasn’t enjoying my classes just like I wasn’t enjoying his so far.

 “I know, that’s why I found it so weird.”

 We sat down at our usual table and started eating in comfortable silence. Alright its lunch, what does Peter usually do now? Liz! There’s Liz, he always stares at Liz. I frowned as a mix jealousy and sadness churned in my stomach before shaking it off and focusing. This is who Peter likes and I have to accept that.

 I leaned my head on my hand trying to recreate Peter’s love-struck look and staring at Liz who was chatting with some of her friends. She’s so pretty and smart and so nice to everyone of course Peter likes her and that’s okay, yeah, totally fine because Liz is nice and Peter deserves someone like her, but my name has a heart emoji on his phone. Yeah but it probably doesn’t mean anyth-

 “Uh, why are you staring at Liz?” Ned asked confused, making me turn to face him.

 “I always stare at Liz.” I said simply, I mean it’s pretty obvious.

 “No you don’t, you always-”

 “Hey guys!” Peter said coming to seat with us in a perfect copy of what I always did. Putting my backpack aside, opening the carton of milk, opening a book and eating the fruit first. How is he doing it so well?

 I focused back on my food, not noticing the glances Peter sneaked in my direction unlike Ned who did notice and decided to speak up.

 “Something’s off about you two today, you’re different.” He said looking between both of us.

 “Wha-what do you mean?” We ask at the same time. Could we be more obvious?

 “I don’t know, something’s changed about you that’s all.” He shrugs so I decide to try and cover our asses.

 “Well I-I feel different, a good different,” I mumble loud enough for them to hear me. My gaze goes to Peter’s, “I stood up to Flash today.”

 There was a moment of silent as both of them stared at me dumbfounded and I laughed, “Is that so hard to believe?” I asked offended.

 Probably, I think to myself.

 “Dude,” Ned said appreciatively and I laughed again before the bell rang signaling lunch was over. We started gathering our stuff before walking to Chemistry which the three of us had together.

“So I’ve been thinking,” Peter said as the class started, turning slightly on his stool at our lab table, “And I have some ideas about how we got switched.”

 “Really?” I asked glancing sideways seeing him nod, “Alright, I’m all ears.” I smile.

“My bet is that this is probably a dream, but also it could be that we somehow stepped through a portal or something and that’s what switched us for the other. Or maybe we went to a parallel dimension when we’re actually the other. Or, someone switched our brains while we slept last night.” He whispered moving his stool closer and I laughed silently at his crazy ideas and thanking whoever is up there for this dork I have for a best friend, knowing he was trying to avoid the both of us panicking because of the situation we were in.

 “They’re all pretty convincing,” I said finally when I finished laughing. I stole a glance to the front to check if the teacher had noticed us talking, she hadn’t, “However one of those is too far-fetched.”

 “The brain switching one, right?”

 “Yeah,” I smiled again, “My money is on the parallel dimension though.”

 “I’m going for the portal, that way we can find it and change each other back.” Peter smiled back at me and for a second my worries stopped and I knew that even if it took time, we could figure this out.

 We parted ways after chemistry during the last period since I had biology but soon enough the bell rang through the hallways signaling that the school day was over. I walked to Peter’s locker putting his combination, which I wrote on my hand, and leaving the books he won’t need. After a minute or so Peter jogs to my side with two books under his arm and the braid I fixed this morning almost falling apart.

 “We made it through the day.” I smiled raising my hand for a high five which he returned with a chuckle.

 “We did,” He grins before patting the two books he was holding, “You’ve got history and statistics homework by the way.”

 I groan, “Not statistics, I hate statistics. I swear Mr. Mitchell always chooses the worst time to send homework. Sometimes I’m so bus-” I suddenly stop talking, my eyes widening.

 “Y/N, wh-what’s wrong?” Peter asked stepping closer, a hand on my shoulder.

 "Your internship, -the Stark internship! What are we gonna do? I can’t go, I’m not smart enough for that.”

 Peter gave my shoulder a slight squeeze, “Hey, it’s okay I don’t have the internship today.”

 I’m sure I gave him the most confused look I could muster, “What? Are you sure?”

 He always has the internship, he goes even on Sundays!

 “A hundred percent sure. No internship today.” He nodded but I still narrowed my eyes.

 “But-”

 “Come on let’s head home,” He said cutting me off and starting to walk towards the entrance but pausing when he saw I wasn’t following him, “It’s this way, Y/N.”

 “Actually, it’s this way Pete. We have decathlon meeting, come on.” I smiled rolling my eyes.

 “Oh. Decathlon, right.” He said scratching the back of his neck.

 “I don’t do that,” I laughed when he blushed, “Although, I gotta say, you’ve played a better me that me.”

 “No I haven’t,” He shakes his head looking away and I link my arm with his letting the topic go.

 “Alright, whatever you say Peter.”

We got to the meeting and Flash didn’t even glance our way, making me smile smugly to myself. We took our usual places as Liz started to hand out outlines of different topics and questions we should work on during the weekend before the next meeting. The meeting was nice like always but pretty uneventful and almost two hours later Peter and I walked back to the apartment building after stepping off the train.

 “We should switch backpacks too,” Peter said all of a sudden after being deep in thought, “You know, so you can do the history and statistics homework and I can do whatever my assignments are.”

 I nodded slipping off his backpack from my shoulders, makes sense. “You have biology test and homework, that’s about it.” I said handing him the bag which he quickly took making me furrow my brows for a second.

 “Umm… alright?” I took my backpack as he handed it to me, “You coming over tonight?”

 "Yeah, how about around 7?“ He asked as I started walking backwards to his apartment. He did the same but towards the staircase.

 “Seven’s fine.” I nodded, a smile on my face which he easily returned.

 To say that staying at Peter’s apartment without him there was kinda weird, was an understatement. Once I let myself in, I left my backpack on the couch before going to the kitchen. I smiled as I found that aunt May had left food on the fridge to heat up so I put it on the microwave and sat on the counter waiting for the timer to go off as I looked around the empty apartment.

 It was so quiet, the complete opposite of when Ned, Peter and I hang out here. The beeping from the microwave brought me back to the present and I hopped off the counter to get the food and a fork. I went to sit on the couch and ate silently, wondering how Peter was doing upstairs and what my mom cooked today. As always a smile made its way to my face, thinking about Peter constantly had that effect. I looked down at the navy blue sweater I was wearing and blushed. I may or may not had put it on this morning self-indulgently because I loved seeing Peter wearing this color. How could I not when it made his eyes and his brown curls stand out so much. My mind then started to wonder again, how come Peter didn’t have the internship today? it was so weird to see him so relaxed about it and not bummed out. He loves that internship! He goes every single day without complaints and then all of a sudden he has a day off? Something was off about it but I decided not to dwell on it too much, there were more important things to worry about. Specially the statistics homework on my backpack.

 Sighing I walked to the kitchen again, washed the dish I used and drank some water before picking up my backpack. I took out my statistics book and notebook along with the history book. I looked for my highlighters and pens before walking towards to Peter’s room to start working and being my clumsy self I tripped with his desk chair when I walked through the door.

 I cursed under my breath, rubbing my knee before I started picking up everything I dropped during the fall. I placed the books and pens on the desk before sitting down and noticing one of my highlighters was missing. Standing up again I started to look around the room and found it by Peter’s closet so I bend over to grab it when my eyes catch blue fabric next to it. Furrowing my brows I pick it up and gasp at what I find. A Spiderman suit, why does Peter have a Spiderman suit? I didn’t know he was a fan. Or could he? No, no it can’t be. I’m his best friend of course I’d noticed if he was a superhero, this is just a costume. A very detailed costume that’s probably for cosplaying, right?  

 Yeah a costume, I repeat to myself, so if I press this button right here nothing will happen. Right? I turn around and close my eyes after aiming for the door before pressing the shooter. At the sound of a yelp I open my eyes and gasp once more as I see myself, no, Peter. Oh goddammit. Peter was webbed to the door from the spiderweb this suit just shot. So that means…

 I stare at Peter with wide eyes, my mouth probably hanging open.

 “I can explain!”

tag list: @tomllholland @x-parker-holland-x @spideychelle-romanogers @sir-stilinski 💕

#peter parker x reader #peter parker #spiderman homecoming #peter parker fic #tom holland x reader #peter parker x you #spiderman fic #pauwrites #my writing #spiderman hoco #smhc #smhoco #tom holland #spider man: homecoming #marvel imagine #spiderman imagine #peter parker imagine