#i also have a lot of feelings about neurodivergence | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

aroaceleovaldez · 18 hours

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in your most recent tyson post, you said something about leo being distinctly autistic-coded and I was wondering if you could elaborate on that? it sounds really interesting (sorry if you've already posted something on this, I couldn't find anything though)

Of course! I do have a specific tag for talking about Leo's autistic-coding/traits - [here], and [one for Nico as well].

The main aspects with Leo being autistic-coded actually have a lot to do with Nico being autistic-coded, because it's the comparisons between the two that most clearly indicate Leo is autistic-coded rather than it just being his ADHD or etc.

So with Nico being autistic-coded, it's very clear in the Titan's Curse that he's intended to be autistic. First, the first series has a repeating pattern of secondary characters being very distinctly neurodivergent-coded in different ways (Annabeth's adhd/dyslexia, Tyson's down syndrome-coding, Nico's autism-coding). With Nico's introduction, he's pretty stereotypically autistic and we're given a lot of descriptors about him that are notably not attributed to him being ADHD, like it would be for other demigod characters. He doesn't register social cues such as people getting annoyed at him, he's asking/making inappropriate or impolite questions/comments, he gets particularly upset about change (such as Bianca joining the Hunt) and generally gets emotional, and one of his most notable traits he's introduced with is the fact that he has a special interest (MythoMagic) - and we're shown that this special interest particularly colors how Nico navigates the world. While ADHD has hyperfixations, we don't really get much acknowledgement of hyperfixations with demigods usually - Annabeth gets a little, but most others don't and it's not nearly as focused-in on as Nico's is.

Then as the series continues we see these traits stick with him and him start to show or voice more traits that similarly indicate he's autistic: He regularly mentions how he doesn't understand living people and prefers the company of the dead (social issues). He has more notable stims than other demigods (twisting his ring, fiddling with bones, etc). He's indicated to have strong sensory preferences (usually wearing mostly black/aversion to bright colors, usually wearing layers/his coat, multiple times he's described as wearing loose/baggy clothing or clothes too big for him). He has specific comfort items (his ring, likely his jacket(s) as well). We later get even more information about his special interests (Mythomagic/mythology/history and an older interest in pirates - the latter he specifically notes likely heavily influenced his feelings towards Percy). He struggles with emotions and facial expressions and tone. He struggles particularly with ostracism and feeling like he doesn't fit in and has something distinctly different about him from the people around him (who notably, all have ADHD, which indicates it isn't the ADHD that's making him feel that way), and other characters regularly describe him as being off-putting because of his strange behaviors - again, different from specific ADHD traits they recognize. And that last point is kind of notable because we have Hazel and Bianca for comparison - we know people are off-put by both Nico and Hazel because of being children of Hades/Pluto and their powers/aura, but other characters get past that general feeling of discomfort way faster with Hazel. And even after characters get past the death stuff with Nico, there's a second thing that they aren't moving past that isn't a factor with Hazel (Nico's autism).

So that brings us to Leo - Leo is paralleled to Nico a lot. And there's some very specific traits about him that we know are autistic-coding because of how they're used with Nico: He similarly struggles with social cues/etc, and in a very similar parallel to Nico describes how he prefers the company of machines to people because machines make more sense to him. He has similar types of clothing/sensory preferences (again some stuff with layers but also - pockets! He likes having pockets and things to put stuff in! He's even introduced as having a jacket with lots of pockets), and he has a distinct special interest (machinery) that we specifically know heavily influences how he views and navigates the world (constantly comparing things to machinery, describing things with machinery metaphors/terminology, etc etc). He even describes his entire general worldview to Hazel and it's a machine metaphor. He also similarly struggles with ostracization like Nico does, the only difference being that Leo specifically puts on a persona to compensate for areas he knows he's lacking in and very explicitly describes it as a means to make people like him, because without it he normally struggles to fit in (He's masking!). We also see notes of characters describing that similar discomfort with Leo's behaviors that they do with Nico, except without the aura of death this time. And when we're in Leo's POVs we see a very stark difference between his masking and his actual personality/behaviors such as his internal dialogues or how he behaves when he's alone. Also, like Nico, he stims more than other demigods, though for Leo it's more attributed to his ADHD. Leo also, more often than most, similarly struggles with tone and reading the room, such as making misplaced jokes/comments or etc.

But yeah! It's really interesting. Also it's just a fun thing that ADHD/dyslexia and autism have comorbidity, so it makes sense that we see demigods who are also autistic. It's also really fun to look at how other characters are coded in the series, what coding looks like in the riordanverse specifically (usually it's tied into the mythological stuff - like Chiron being in a wheelchair but he's actually a centaur, Grover being introduced as having a muscular disease but he's actually a satyr, demigods having adhd/dyslexia, Tyson being coded as having down syndrome but he's a cyclops, etc etc - it's a lot of specific metaphor stuff that I've talked about a bit before), and to look at how characters are compared to one another.

#pjo #riordanverse #leo valdez #nico di angelo #autistic nico #autistic leo #autism #analysis #Anonymous #ask #long post //#woof sorry that got long #im very passionate about this topic #re: characters being paralleled #Ms. ''Constantly Neutral - No Emotions'' Reyna looking at Nico stimming in the exact same way she does (twisting ring)#and internally going ''We have a lot in common. I don't know how I feel about that.'' is one of my favorites.#like. reyna. ma'am. you might be autistic. good luck with that.#with the pattern of coding in the first series i do suspect Rachel has some coding as well but i haven't been able to pinpoint what it is #I think it may be the whole seer thing and the fact that she could see the future #even before becoming the oracle/despite being a mortal rather than a demigod (who just get rare prophetic dreams normally)#and in BoTL her entire thing is that she's able to see things that no one else can and that's how they navigate the maze #particularly also with how the labyrinth is treated/how it affects people within it (see: Chris)#and how the only other seer in the first series - May - is characterized and her coding compared to Rachel's #also something something the seer traits become more prominent once Rachel meets Percy #something something metaphor about only being able to recognize neurodivergency traits once you're familiar with them #so Rachel meets Percy = introduction to the community > Rachel recognizes her own traits/symptoms > gets a support system (oracle)

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letters-to-lgbt-kids · 21 hours

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My dear lgbt+ kids,

I have always admired people who have their one thing. People who care deeply about one highly specific cause, people who have deep knowledge about their one niche interest, people who are really into one particular movie…

I just think it’s neat! It’s really interesting to hear people talk about their one thing. There’s also so much comfort in the fact that people can find so much happiness and meaning and purpose in something seemingly random!

Last but not least, it’s also often the people with their one thing who (pardon my language) get shit done. Someone who puts their whole heart into doing their one small thing passionately likely does much more good for the world than someone who tries to constantly give their attention to every single problem everywhere all the time simultaneously. The first one can keep their energy and love for the cause high, the latter probably just ends up burning themselves out.

… and yet, with all this genuine admiration for people like that: I often judge myself for being a person like that.

If you wonder what my one thing is, well, you’re looking at it! It’s writing about mental health and wellbeing in the lgbt+ community. I write this blog. I write books with main characters who are lgbt+ and mentally ill or neurodivergent. I do a lot of research on that topic to base my writing on ,and also just for fun. Even with the music or movies or books I enjoy, I seek out that topic or at least I’ll analyze it with that lens… So, according to my very own thoughts I stated above, I should feel like the coolest guy ever!

But I don’t. I feel embarrassed when people ask about my interests or hobbies. I feel guilty for it not being something you can „turn into a career“. I feel like I’m boring for writing 3 books about the same topic. I feel like I’m stupid for not having multiple passions. I feel like I need to prove my masculinity by having more „male interests“... long story short, I’m being a big old bully to myself about it.

You may be a „my one thing“ person as well or maybe you’re someone with many different interests, or maybe you are someone who has one thing but the thing changes every few weeks. No matter where you stand, we probably have this in common: we can be really mean towards ourselves over things we wouldn’t judge others for. This may be so common because it’s pretty easy to have a distorted perception of ourselves (after all, we notice every single little thing we think or do or say, while in others we see the bigger picture) or because so many grow up internalizing negative messages about ourselves(but not about others).

We set impossibly high standards for ourselves that we would never impose on our loved ones - but we should also be our own loved one. After all, you’ll be the person you spend the most time with during your life. Much better for your closest companion to be a friend than a foe.

So, in this spirit, I’ll try to lead by example: I have my one thing, and that’s super cool of me!! What’s cool about you?

With all my love,

Your Tumblr Dad

#lgbt #lgbt+

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deadnametrading · 13 hours

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I've been reading people's interpretations of this scene, and while I agree with the substance of the take that "Laios is quite isolated and his party often don't understand him", it's not the reading I get from this scene in either the manga or the anime.

So let's review the board, spoilers for episode 18 of the anime, obviously

Senshi's Laios: very cute, a reflection of his standards of masculinity. Possibly influenced by him being older, by Dwarven ageing, and the fact Laios is clean shaven. He projects similar notions on Chilchuck, and other biases onto Marcille. I feel this can mostly be chalked up to how brief his time with the party currently has been (1-2 weeks).

Chilchuck's Laios: Dangerous, unreasonable, unhinged, and coloured by his long time experience of Laios.

At this point in the story Chil's perception of Laios has changed rapidly due to both the reveal of his monster obsession (back in episode 1, previously suppressed) and the confrontation with Shuro, among other things. As seen in episode 13, he think's Laios is going to suicidally chase Falin to his death. He also thinks his monster obsession is a sign of a disturbed mind (not a suprise given his own experiences of the dungeon).

Marcille's Laios: Quite the opposite of Senshi, Laios' masculinity is exaggerated, which does reflect her Elf beauty standards (male and female Elves are often similarly feminine ).

Specifically for Marcille, she was told Laios looked a lot like Falin, and before meeting him, her opinion of him was really low (see the Falin makeup extras and her retelling the story of being alone after Laios left home, to Marcille).

Now, I've hated people in my lifetime, there's an inclination to be more critical of them than you would other people. Marcille didn't like the comparisons between the two siblings, and so fixated on their differences.

For review, here is there first meeting:

Marcille came for a fight, clearly her letters didn't tell Falin the whole story. She HATED Laios in this scene. Everything in the three years after was clawing back from this mess.

Look at Laios, not a button a stubble, and neither person got any short or taller in the intervening years. When she gets irate over people saying Falin and Laios look similar, it's because of that mental image broadcasted by the Shapeshifter. That's how she sees him in her mind, the man who took Falin away from her, who made Falin unhappy, and who others have the gall to compare to her dearest friend Falin.

Conclusion: Laios and Falin, their emotional and social alienation, and how they each influence others like Marcille and Kabru; these things are central to the story, and to Laios as a protagonist. The last thing I want it people thinking I'm dismissing that.

But at this point in the story, focusing on that narrative, it's proverbially putting the cart in front of the horse. Structurally, this encounter is a review of party stability moving forward. The previous battle with Chimera Falin put everyone on edge, made them uncertain of their future, and distrustful of Laios.

Laios came out of his fight with Shuro (Toshiro) appearing unobservant to people's appearances and feelings. Marcille and Chilchuck recognise Kabru and Laios didn't. They're suspicious of his abilities. Laios, in turn, knows he has the chance to win them back, knows he fucked up with Shuro (Toshiro) and ruined their friendship.

This encounter is about Laios' shortcomings, reflective of his neurodivergence, the doubts of his party, and how Laios uses his strengths to compensate, and even solve problems his party members can't. Ultimately, this chapter is saying, Laios is different, but he is not lesser, and in a battle against monsters he excels.

The others can point out differences in clothing and speech easily, but those were the tools the shape shifter easily used against them. Laios succeeds precisely because he's focusing on the things others don't pick up on.

#dungeon meshi #dungeon meshi spoilers #dungeon meshi ep 18 #laios touden #long post

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specialagentartemis · 1 day

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Would you be open to elaborating more on your statement “#Admittedly I fundamentally don’t believe that many forms of ADHD and many of the tumblr-acceptable forms of autism are materially distinct”? I haven’t heard someone else voice this sentiment, but I think I have similar feelings to you around this topic and I am curious how others have come to this conclusion as well.

Sure.

When I was eight years old, I was diagnosed with ADD—Attention Deficit Disorder. This is considered a related but separate and distinct thing from ADHD.

When I was a teenager, a new DSM came out. ADD was no longer considered a distinct thing. My diagnosis changed to ADHD-I: Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, Inattentive Type.

My brain didn’t change, but the professional perception of what was up with it did.

Is ADD materially different from ADHD? Can you have ADHD without hyperactivity? That used to be no, now it’s yes; answer the first question, that used to be yes, now it’s no.

I see very similar things between ADHD and autism. Lots of people do. Traits like the ability to fixate on an interest to the physical inability to pay attention to anything else; infodumping past the point other people lose interest; penchant for physical clumsiness and poor coordination; emotional dysregulation; proclivity to sensory overload; anxiety over not emoting correctly… they’re ADHD things and autism things. Is bouncing my leg an autism stim or an expression of ADHD hyperactivity? Or is it just fidgeting like people do sometimes? I dunno. Are they in fact materially different things?

Similar to ADD, Asperger’s Syndrome is no longer a thing. It’s subsumed under Autism Spectrum Disorder now. Is “high functioning” autism the same material thing as “low functioning” autism? Is “high functioning” autism the same thing as “ADD”? Idk. In some people I think it is.

Especially in mental disorders and neurodivergences, diagnoses aren't physical, material things. They're names given to commonly occurring collections of traits or symptoms. There's no virus that causes ADHD, no bacteria that can be isolated that causes autism. COVID is caused by the virus SARS-CoV-2; strep throat is caused by Streptococcus bacteria. They have symptoms, but they are primarily defined by their root cause. ADHD, autism, and plenty of other Brain Things do have neurochemical correlates - that is, there is an aspect of physical reality to them, you brain is wired a certain way - but it's not like ADHD is caused by the ADHD Virus and Autism is caused by the Autism Germ. They're names given to observable sets of traits, in order to figure out ways of treating and managing them. And I think drawing a sharp distinction between them - THIS is ADHD, and THIS is autism, and they're NOT THE SAME! - is pointless.

I like to use the xkcd color survey as an analogy for... well, a lot of things about the human experience and the way we classify it.

If you weren't around in 2010, xkcd's Randall Munroe asked the internet to help crowdsource the true names and boundaries of colors. You could sit down at the screen, colors would appear before you by random hexcode, and you typed in the name you'd call it. You could do this as many times with as many colors as you wanted. This was the resultant chart he made:

This shows the entirety of fully saturated RGB color space. Each pixel is a different hex code. Each pixel represents a different individual's brain.

I usually use this chart to talk about sexual orientation/queer identities. But it's also a great analogy for the categorizations being diagnoses.

If "Blue" is, say, ADHD, and "Purple" is Autism, you can image how one person's "purple" experience may be wildly different from another "purple" experience but very similar to a "blue" experience. But they're labelled differently, for various reasons. Maybe the doctor had recently seen a lot of blues, and this one seems more purple in comparison. Maybe the doctor has a really specific idea of what blue is, so this can't be blue, it must be purple. Which is not to say some blues aren't wildly different from some purples, that some purples match the platonic ideal image in your mind of what "purple" is more than others. There's still clearly a lot of overlap in blue and purple experiences.

That's kind of how I think about ADHD and autism.

And who knows, maybe I think this just because I am actually autistic. I've asked myself that, wondered that before. Am I? Or are these just ADHD symptoms that overlap? And honestly at this point the answer isn't super important to me. I know how my brain works and how to deal with it when it gets bad, and there's very little that pursuing a diagnosis would do for me at the point I'm at in my life.

But when I say that I suspect the two aren't as materially distinct as they're sometimes made out to be, this is what I mean.

#asks #anonymous #I'm no neurologist or psychologist this is just my observation from living my whole life with a Neurodivergent Brain of my particular type

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piratecaptainscaptainpirates · 7 hours

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I forgot about the 1k prompts. I will love you forever (not that I do not already) if you would write something sweet about neurodivergent Ed and Stede caring for each other in that special sweet disabled4disabled way <3 also as usual I love your writing so so so much whether it’s actual fics or just the thoughts you have to share on here :)

yes!!! whohooo! love this prompt with all my heart!

“Alright, love, you’ve got your bag?”

“Right here!” Ed took a moment to stretch as they stepped out of the car, swinging his travel backpack up onto his shoulder.

They were across the country on business, and they’d been looking forward to the vacation days they’d get on this trip for months. They’d been to all the aquariums within a few hours’ drive of home - hell, they had annual passes to three of them - so the chance to get to visit a new one was a rare thrill.

“Alright, you’ve got your knee brace…” Stede tilted his head to make sure he could spot the brace poking out under Ed’s shorts, and Ed lifted his leg to make sure he could see it was on and fastened appropriately.

“You’ve got your headphones.” Ed reached out to straighten Stede’s shirt collar, but he just wasn’t able to resist how cute Stede looked, slightly sunburned and with his sunglasses resting adorably on top of his head, and he hauled him in by the shirt for a kiss. “And I’ve got a pack of disposable earplugs if you need ‘em.”

“I shouldn’t, I did call to make sure they’re sensory -friendly,” Stede said brightly, automatically reaching up to make sure he could still feel the noise- canceling headphones around his neck anyway. “Did you put everything in the bag?”

Ed knew Stede wasn’t nagging, he was just making sure - he’d had so many travel nightmares with Mary and the kids thanks to things getting left behind accidentally. He pulled his bag off his shoulder, resting it on the hood of their car so he could reassure both of them they had everything they needed.

“Got water and snacks…” They always carried a few snacks when they went anywhere like this. Ed could get grumpy and irritable when he was hungry, and even calling ahead didn’t always mean they could be sure there would be reliable Kosher options for him. Stede, too, was prone to not noticing he was getting hungry until he already felt like shit, so the trail mix was a lifesaver. “My foldable cane, your earplugs. We’re set!”

“Perfect,” Stede said, taking Ed’s hand and pressing a kiss to his cheek before they headed across the parking lot.

When reading up on this aquarium, they’d read that it wasn’t usually crowded on weekdays (perfect for Stede), but it was big and had a lot of walking, so Stede had bought their tickets online so they could skip standing in line. Ed wasn’t always the best at realizing when his knee pain was getting bad enough he should use the cane, so he knew to expect Stede’s check- ins.

The aquarium was a bit smaller than some of their favorites back home, but being able to see so many animals they’d never seen before made up for it. Stede grabbed a map for them at the information desk, circling the areas the employee had pointed out to them where there were places for Ed to sit or quiet corners if either of them felt overstimulated.

It felt, sometimes, like Ed would never stop falling in love. As they went through the aquarium, reading the informational signs next to the exhibits out to each other and trading cool facts back and forth, he felt like Stede’s joy and enthusiasm was lighting up the whole world.

Ed’s favorite aquarium animals were the sharks. Stede adored the stingray touch pools, but he never got mad when Ed didn’t actually want to put his hands in the water. They got lots of pictures, Ed made Stede laugh by imitating a little penguin waddle in front of the penguin exhibit, and Ed was nearly bouncing with excitement as they got closer to one of the last exhibits at the aquarium: the sea lions.

Things went a bit south near the end of the aquarium, though.

They’d specifically visited on a weekday morning to skip the crowds, just because crowded aquariums could feel so claustrophobic and that really freaked Stede out. But they caught up with a huge crowd of kids there on a field trip, and Stede ordinarily liked kids, but it was a very slow-moving, loud group, and Ed could practically feel Stede getting more anxious and stressed by the second.

“I’ll be alright in just a moment,” Stede promised him, taking the water bottle Ed passed him after Ed guided him back towards one of the quiet spots marked on their map.

Ed looked back over his shoulder. Not the kids’ fault they were excited, but he could hear the crowd from here. “Wanna call it a day?”

Stede frowned down at his water bottle. “But the sea lions! Want to go without me?”

Truthfully, Ed was a teeny bit disappointed about missing the sea lions. But he could see videos of sea lions any time. He only had one of his Stede, and he wouldn’t be able to enjoy it worrying about Stede feeling anxious and upset back here without him.

“Nah,” he said, taking Stede’s elbow, starting them towards the exit. “You know, I saw a few food trucks outside.”

“That sounds perfect for lunch!” Stede hooked his elbow through Ed’s. “I’m really sorry, love.”

Ed leaned over for a quick kiss. “Don’t you dare apologize to me, babe. I’ll steal your desert.”

Stede snorted. “You will anyway.”

Yeah. Ed absolutely would. He knew that just as surely as he knew Stede would need to go back to the hotel to decompress after lunch, and he’d be able to get Stede to give him a foot massage, and they’d need to take an hour to just hang out and let their brains take a break, Stede playing on his phone and Ed reading his book. Just as surely as he knew they’d be taking care of each other for the rest of their lives, just as he knew either of them would ever have to worry about hiding hurt or discomfort ever again.

#ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd fic #my fics

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amysgiantbees · 2 days

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Dead Boy Spoilers

Things I'd like to see in Dead Boy Detectives Season 2

Tragic Mick and Monty form an Animals with Complicated Feelings About Being Human at Some Point support group. Maybe the Cat King is there too.

Monty takes on Tragic Mick's "curse" and get's to be human again and Mick get's to be a walrus or at least get's to not be human anymore and is a crow. Monty could even take over his store!

Monty and the Cat King dealing with loneliness together. The Cat King has all the loneliness of being an immortal that Edwin's making him unpack (in particular he hangs out with cats all day like fuck they have even shorter life spans than people god he must have lost a lot of loved ones) and Monty deals with loosing his owner/master/mother/weird aunt figure who's probably been his whole world for better and worse up until he got turned human.

Whoever Monty is hanging out with I want to see him far too earnestly doing their star charts.

Boys and Crystal solving just fun random MOTW cases

The Night Nurse and Jenny tearing their hair out trying to keep the teens in check.

Night Nurse in particular having an aneurism every time the boys refuse to fill out a form, brake a rule, or run off without her.

Although alternatively Edwin getting VERY into the forms and learning how Hell and the afterlife works, and instead pestering her about it.

Jenny focusing more on Crystal - and Niko when she comes back.

Jenny learning she can care a bit more. The Night Nurse learning to relax and care a little less.

Jenny getting a good date. Loving her ship with Death but also I like the idea of them meeting a Cat Queen and her little comment about everyone in town being spinsters with cats comes round to instead be this ancient being who is a cat.

Crystal researching her ancestors and finding out more about them.

Crystal dealing with the demon in her brain hopefully before he does something irreparable to her tree.

Maybe they end up interrogating David about the "something worse" Edwin was sold to.

Crystal learning about her powers!

Crystal trying to repair some of her old friendships. Make amends to a couple of people.

Niko reforming the dandelion sprites and learning to lead/work with them. Helping them all find a way to feed without murdering people.

Nico dealing with needing attention to eat and live despite her coping mechanism when she's sad or scared specifically being avoiding people and hiding from others.

Niko figuring out her dandelion god powers. Doing god like things like blessing people who love, care for, and harvest dandelions. Granting wishes when dandelions are blown!

Niko marriage counseling Kingham & Litty (the dandelion sprites).

Either Crystal and Charles giving being together another shot now that David has been "dealt" with for the time being or Charles figuring out that maybe he's attracted to Edwin too. Or both!

I love that since Edwin is "living" through the modern day he can explore his sexuality finally. In a similar vein a lot of people also see him as autistic, and autism awareness has certainly come a long way from the Edwardian period and now could be a good time for his character to explore this too. Charles in turn could help him by talking about their shared neurodivergent experience as I firmly believe he has ADHD.

Charles opening up more about his parents.

Learning Edwin's family backstory

Cat King having Desire as a sort of absentee parental figure so literally the whole gang can have parental issues. Night Nurse I assume does not have parents so get's to be the mentally stable one in this regard and (try to) help everyone through it.

Niko checking in on her mum. Seeing how she's coping.

Edwin and Crystal bonding over doing magic and getting closer as friends. He maybe even initiates a hug!

Edwin getting to initiate a kiss with someone

Scooby Do episode! (I vote Charles is Daphney, Edwin is Velma, Niko is Shaggy and Cyrstal is Fred, maybe the Cat King or Monty is Scoob).

Despair shows up again.

Maybe now that the boys don't need to run from death they reverse it and actively try to seek her out and talk to her.

Crystal seeing her little ghost friend Emma from the first episode again.

Edwin reading Niko's yaoi. It could even be really funny and bittersweet where when they still think she's dead he's reading it and getting emotional and saying to himself "she really did love love" or "I wish I could read this with her" or something emotional like that and then he flicks to the next page and it's something explicit and he suddenly shuts the book and is like "Enough of that for now" XD

Either Edwin and the Cat King get together. Or become friends. Or Thomas makes friends or something with some other kind of immortal so he's not so lonely. I'm leaning towards them being friends because he would have no issues being the friend that explains what hand jobs and molly is to Edwin. Also since he presents himself in a very ambiguously gendered way I feel like he could get him to talk about why he likes disguising himself as a woman so much. Whether than be introducing him to concepts like gender queerness or drag. It's just honestly both Charles and Edwin are pretty repressed and I think now that the Cat King has started to grow he could continue to really push them in a less intense, healthier way.

Monty and Edwin staying friends. Monty and Charles actually getting to properly vibe.

Jenny figuring out now that the shop is dead if butchering is truly what she wants. Since she did it because she inherited the shop she can really explore her wants without any feeling of obligation to her dad. I love that she's a butcher but I just think it'd be interesting to explore her passion for it without so much baggage.

#dead boy detectives spoilers #dead boy detective agency #dead boy detectives #dbd #the sandman universe #myanalysis

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kizunarae · 1 month

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a mismatched mess: a fitz and molly essay

In my re-read of ROTE, I am struck again by the profound mismatch between Fitz and Molly. Neither complements the other, and their relationship is fraught with tension and incompatibility. However, what really compels me to write this is what seems to be the prevailing sentiment within the fandom that places the blame squarely on Fitz’s shoulders. I believe that this perspective is an oversimplification and rather unfair to Fitz. The demise of their relationship was not unilaterally caused by Fitz; rather, it was a shared unraveling.

I will be focusing solely on events up to the end of Royal Assassin, avoiding spoilers for subsequent books. I will put it under a read more as it will be long...

I want to disclaimer that while I may appear fairly critical of Molly's behavior, I do not think she did anything particularly wrong and do believe her emotions and reactions are largely justified. It is just precisely because of who she is (and who Fitz is) that I believe they are a bad match. Additionally, I think Fitz's wrongs have been hashed out extensively so I will only briefly touch on points I disagree with and not elaborate overmuch on his failures in their relationship.

I will begin with their first reunion in Royal Assassin. Fitz has just returned to the Keep after being on his deathbed for several months. Each person he encounters barely recognizes him through his wasted and sickly appearance. Fitz, embarrassed by his weakness, pulls a foolish move: he claims to be drunk when a passing serving girl—none other than Molly—crosses his path. His attempt to save face and avoid interaction turns futile. And yet, despite the evidence that Fitz is clearly sickly in appearance, Molly's first reaction is not concern. It is not to hear his side of the story nor to find out how he has been, nor consider anything that he may have gone through. Instead, she is focused only on her own experiences, and her own feelings and thus responds only with pure outrage and begins firing off accusations with misplaced anger.

Without basis, she accuses him of courting her and then abandoning her. I think many take this claim at face value, because "Fitz should have known what he was doing" (as Patience also intoned). However, let's consider the books have established a three-year age gap between Fitz and Molly. Thus, in Assassin's Apprentice, Fitz would have been begun "courting" Molly at around the age of 13-15 while Molly was 16-18. Even without viewing this through a modern lens, this claim feels like a stretch to me. Imagine expecting a young boy, barely schooled in social norms, to understand that strolling through town with a childhood friend equals courtship. No words or actions passed between them that indicated anything more than friendship. I believe Patience's scolding and instructions were fitting and commendable. However, Molly’s internalization of this narrative against Fitz seems misplaced and unfair, given her knowledge of their shared history and relationship.

Then, after he shares his concern for her about what he saw in his dream. She accuses him of purposely scheming and attempting to deceive her; that he must have heard her whole story in the tavern and is just making fun of her. This is again a very unfair characterization for her to place on Fitz; nothing she knows about him should indicate that he would do something like this at her expense.

She has a right to be upset that Fitz kept his true identity from her. But he also had a right to do so. She gave him no grace and despite his apparent weakened state, she did not allow him to give any explanations. Worse, because of how Fitz is, he immediately accepts her view of the situation and berates himself for not realizing the courtship, despite having had no tools of his own to recognize that. This pattern continues throughout their relationship.

And this, in essence, is what makes Fitz and Molly such a toxic pair. She accuses him of things he does not intend or cannot change, and he, like a sponge, absorbs them as truth, eroding his own perspective and identity. And on the other side, I believe Molly deserves someone who will challenge her. Someone to stretch her boundaries, broaden her horizons. A companion who could wholeheartedly dedicate their life to a family and business together in partnership. Because, while not necessarily a flaw, she has blinders on and focuses largely on her personal happiness and fulfillment. She does not want to bother with thinking of the realm, the raiders or the help other families may need. This is a chasm between her and Fitz, whose heart bleeds for his people's misfortune and feels a duty to his station and Kings. Instead of embracing and appreciating Fitz's compassionate heart and will to make the Six Duchies a better place, she frequently berates him and minimizes his feelings by accusing him of only being a mere king's pawn unable to think and choose for himself.

Especially as readers, we know this isn't the whole truth. We’ve witnessed Fitz’s tears for a dead child cradled in his arms, felt the fire of vengeance burning within him against the raiders. Molly has not, and yet, it does not seem she cares to know. To each of Fitz's explanations, she complains and argues. While we only get the taste of a few of these encounters, Fitz comments that it is a frequent topic of contention between them.

Molly wants Fitz to fit into her mold and she wants what makes her happy to be what makes him happy. She longs for the days when Fitz was only Newboy. She says she just doesn't understand the things he tells her, and yet I feel this is the same "not understanding" that Fitz employs with the Fool; in fact, it is very much understood, it is just not what they want to acknowledge as truth. Because Fitz is not Newboy, and because she subconsciously blames Fitz for not being Newboy, she thus does not put in effort to know and accept Fitz for who he is. I do not consider her calling Fitz as Newboy throughout Royal Assassin a simple nickname; to me it speaks of Molly desperately trying to reverse time and put Fitz back in the box she liked him best in.

I think exactly how little Molly knows Fitz is further illustrated by the Nighteyes-as-Fitz scene. It is a weird and, in some ways, humorous scene, but what struck me is how Molly appears to know Fitz so poorly that she did not sense anything amiss about an intimate encounter with a literal wolf in Fitz-clothing.

Returning to Fitz's identity and 'lies' throughout their relationship, I personally do not believe that Fitz owed her the truth of his identity from the beginning. It was a deeply personal matter and I believe it was not wrong for him to keep it private. As a young boy, he felt his status as a bastard was deeply shameful, and it is no wonder he would not share it. In my opinion, he would have a duty to disclose if he had truly begun to court her, however he was never given this chance.

So, did he continue to lie after his identity was revealed to her? I do not believe so. He shares much with her about what he does, and about Verity and King Shrewd. It is not a question to me that he would not be able to disclose every detail of what he knows; his knowledge of his kingdom's affairs and his identity as an assassin are not entirely his secrets to share. There are surely modern equivalents of this as well. It is hardly unusual to be unable to share some portions of one's work with one's partner. However, Molly deems this as unacceptable and unforgiveable, despite her lack of interest in what he does— a further inherent incompatibility in their relationship. Instead of offering understanding and support for the isolation that Fitz must feel for being in such a position with his Kings, she resents him for things he has no real power to change. Keep in mind if he had left the Kings' protection at the time, his life would surely have been threatened as Chivalry's was lost. Molly should be able to understand this, and yet she cannot see past her current unhappiness.

In her time at the Keep, Molly also puts a large amount of pressure on Fitz. She is out of her element, she has had a traumatic experience, she knows no one at court. And so, she often complains to Fitz that he doesn't spend more time with her. In a very unhealthy way, she attempts to force him to be everything for her at the Keep— her only social outlet, her support, her protector. Due to this, her resentment for Fitz and his choices grows with every moment he is not with her, and she spends much of their time together asking him to turn away from who and what he is to start a life together.

In the end, both hold the other up as idealized versions one could never hope to fulfil; Molly wants Fitz without his royalty or passion for his people. Fitz yearns for Molly, stripped of independence, her self-driven, entrepreneurial nature tucked away. In their relationship, they offer only moments of fleeting comfort punctuated by feelings of sadness and blame. They cannot fulfill each other's expectations. Molly is unable to bolster Fitz's confidence in himself and the peace and acceptance he desperately craves remain elusive. And likewise, Fitz cannot offer Molly purpose or allow her the sense of security she desires under which to prosper her business and family.

And so, these two are ill-matched and ill-fated, clinging through each other to the last vestiges of a childhood they wish they did not have to leave behind.

#i do like her as a character #im just am confounded people see it as a true romance #she never really does anything for fitz?#and he only is with her for what she represents to him imo #i also have a lot of feelings about neurodivergence #and everyone just expecting fitz to Know Things #maybe i will write about that another time #i think generally people really cut molly too much slack throughout royal assassin #she was lonely and traumatized and wanted fitz to be her everything #she didn't want to be a servant #she wanted him to go help her start her livelihood again #all very understandable #but not healthy or romantic imo...#kizuna rereads #rote #realm of the elderlings #assassin's apprentice #royal assassin #fitzchivalry farseer #i won't tag this as molly #since it is critical #also be nice to me #i haven't written something like this in a long time #i also have quotes to support my conclusions but i didn't include bc it was unwieldly and unpleasant to read

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discountsoysauce · 4 days

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Yall might have to bare with me on this one I'm not great at articulating my thoughts and although I'm neurodivergent I really don't have the proper terms to explain myself here

But like

Okay so it's very obvious that Eli is not neurotypical. I don't want to really get into specific diagnoses because I very much do not want to fall into the serial killer = mental disorder trope. It's a shitty trope and very harmful when handled poorly, especially with Cluster B personalities. Under no circumstances am I saying that Eli's mental condition is the cause of him being a serial killer. I am in fact trying to say the opposite.

TW for discussion of abuse and ableism

Basically, the crux of my argument lies with Eli's flashbacks in Vengeful, specifically when it comes to his father.

Eli mentions that the abuse started when he was around 9 years old because his father saw "the devil" in his eyes.

Eli's age at the time is very important. 9 years old. A literal child. Eli has done nothing wrong at this point aside from exist, and yet his father sees something wrong with him. It's possible that it was intended for Eli to have truly had some "evil" inside of him from the beginning, but it is far far more likely that Eli's father saw some kind of behavior out of the norm (we see that Eli was not a very expressive child. He had to learn all of those behaviors later on) and concluded that it hinted at some "hidden evil". We see those ideas reflected in our own society all the time, with apathy or lack of expression in face or vocal tone can be misconstrued or depicted as evil or heartless.

Eli was never evil or a bad kid. He was 9 years old. There was no devil in his eyes, he simply expressed himself in a way that was considered abnormal.

There's more I could say on this but I've run out of brain power. If anyone has any insight or ways they relate to Eli that they're comfortable talking about or even criticisms, I'm very open to discussion.

#there's also the argument to be made that Eli's quieter less expressive demeanor was a result of his trauma #and him having to learn how to mask by watching the kids around him could be less from neurodivergency and more from being isolated #and thats a completely valid and reasonable discussion #i feel like theres a lot of discussions that could be had about Eli #regarding ableism and religion and abuse and trauma and the dangers of predjudice and cycles of abuse #im definitely not the most qualified to talk on this #so if i get anything wrong feel free to correct me #but i am of the firm belief that there was nothing “wrong” with Eli before the abuse started #whether the reason was that Eli acted “abnormally” or that his father was just just doing what he did because he's a pos #vicious ve schwab #vengeful ve schwab #villains series #eli ever #eli cardale #vicious #vengeful

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pwurrz · 10 months

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damn. kaveh and alhaitham really are adhd vs autism huh

#you could make the argument that they both have autism actually #as an adhd haver with autism i diagnose kaveh as having both #but they’re like. starkly opposing opposites #alhaitham is the logical emotionally distant and unempathetic autistic #and kaveh is the emotionally driven big feelings too much empathy autistic #and you’d think being as opposite as they are there’s no way they could possibly work #and it definitely looks like that on the surface!!#but.. they actually work tremendously well together #alhaitham cares for kaveh in a way that sorta goes against his usual style of disconnected apathy #he also reminds kaveh to look out for himself and worry about his own needs since kaveh is so motivated by guilt that he often neglects his #own needs #they’re puzzle pieces that would normally be on the opposite ends of the puzzle and yet somehow fit together perfectly in a way that makes #a lot of sense #anyways i have a lot of thoughts about these silly little neurodivergent gay people #genshin impact #kaveh #alhaitham #kavetham

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darling-valentine · 28 days

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every now and then I remember that time my transfem friend and I were talking about her trauma and her transition and suddenly she said "but yeah you didn't go through any of that because trans men don't get harassed or bullied and have it overall easier" and I just felt so deeply upset at how she just assumed all the pain I went through couldn't exist because I somehow had it easier. I didn't even say anything because I didn't want her to think I was angry at her, because if I do then suddenly I'm an Angry Man that's exaggerating

#not to mention im latino and she's white #how can you say 'yeah you didn't suffer bullying' to a latino neurodivergent trans man that you've known is mentally unwell for years #maybe its because she idolizes me a lot but please i just want people to see me like a person and not like some concept they can define #also it's really sad seeing people say 'trans men have it easier' like I didn't get beat up and socially and psychologically bullied #ever since i came to Spain because of racism and homophobia and transphobia and ableism and every form of bigotry you can think #and even to this day i still have to deal with all that #even when i think im safe I'm never really safe for one reason or another #and being a man doesn't make me any less vulnerable #valentine.txt #valentime #sorry for the rant gamers I'm still upset and i haven't talked about it to her because I don't want her to feel bad

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alchemiclee · 8 months

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every time someone dislikes a character I consider autistic because they seem highly autistic coded, especially if it's "for no reason/just a feeling" I get so incredibly sad and offended because I just know it's because they have autistic traits. I know these people would do the same to me and other irl autistic people. and that's always such a shitty reason to dislike/hate someone.

I just know they would hate us autistic for "no reason" and it would be because people for some reason dislike autistic people based on some obscure random feeling and they can't even tell you why. they often see us as "broken neurotypicals" or we give them that "uncanny valley robot" feeling (especially for high masking autistic people) or whatever it is. they often think we appear "normal" in every way, except something is "off" to them, they they dislike and bully us for it. it's not our fault we were born with these traits/disability so it's not fair to hate us for it!

at least that's how it always seems to go for me and everyone autistic person i've personally know. especially ones better at masking. (I personally was never good at masking and was seen as a "weird freak" who deserves bullying no matter what I did, especially since i was unable to talk 95% of the time as a kid) the mask still never truly hides that "off feeling" people get. i'm sure other autistic people experience this too, but people always dislike me or even hate me and usually can't ever seem to give me a reason. friends will suddenly turn on me and not give me a reason. (especially if we always had text based communication online and then we meet irl the first time. they suddenly turn on or abandon me after that). if I can get a reason out of someone, it's always because *insert random autistic trait here* so I assume it's the same with every case

if this happens irl, it has to be the same for fictional characters, right? it's the only explanation I can think of. I see stuff like this all the time. the autistic coded characters are always getting hate for seemingly no reason like this:

meanwhile, the autistic coded characters always become my favorites because I understand them better and relate

#autism #autistic #actually autistic #neurodivergent #people probably do this with other neurodivergencies too tbh #hsr #dan heng #ill tag that too in case other autistic dan heng enjoyers are out there and feel the same 😔🤝😔#i have seen almost the same exact post about albedo before too. hes also very autistic coded #probably wouldn't be hard to find one about lynette since shes very autistic. and others too. sighs. its so sad. let us live #i don't care if someone dislikes me or a character. its when that reason is from being autistic #whether they conciously know or not that makes me upset. disliking someone for a trait/disability they cant help just sucks #even if its just me projecting onto a foctional character who i can relate to a lot because they feel so similar to me #when irl people are all so different and weird to me and treat ME like the weird alien they dislike “for no reason” sighsssss #again i dont care if someone dislikes a character (or me) i just hate when its for autistic characteristics even if they k ow why #they dont know why*#that may not even be it for the screenshoted people. but its SO GODDAMN COMMON for people to dislike autistic people #“FOR NO REASON” or some obscure feeling they cant explain. so that is the logical explanation #i hardly ever see people dislike a character (or me / other irl autistic people) for any other legitimate reason that's not autistic traits #its always things like “theyre annoying/too awkward and quit/too weird/do and say weird stuff/give me a weird feeling/lack personality/#quiet* not quit #/too obsessed with *special interest*/bad at communicating/etc“ and not legitimate reasons like they're not a good person or something #where was i going with this ramble....got distracted and forgot #lee rambles #lee is confused and upset about these things!!!!

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