#how touch starved is she? how much does she wish to be vulnerable. to have a family that she can let her guard down around. how much she-

[thehappiestgolucky]

Hornet my beloved,,,

#hollow knight #doodles #hk hornet #hk ghost #hk herrah #god i’ve been having her thoughts lately #do you ever think about how much she must regret? how long she must’ve been internally thinking - about how she had to fix this? #that she didn’t spend nearly as much as she wished she could’ve with herrah. not knowing she would’ve lost her so quickly. how could she- #-as a child could’ve known? now she can’t #how much does she resent her father? for her circumstances? for the flawed plan that left her with a dead kingdom that a sense of duty and- #-loyalty compels her to protect. do you ever think that she wishes she could go back in time? to change things? #how touch starved is she? how much does she wish to be vulnerable. to have a family that she can let her guard down around. how much she- #-repels it. because vulnerability gets you hurt #getting hurt gets in the way of your duties. how many times was she alone. injured. with only her thoughts as company #i care her so much #the fandom does her dirty. you know what i’m talking about. she’s so much more interesting than just being ‘the main female character’ #she deserves that absolute world. and yet all she got was pain and trauma….

[happysparklingshadows]

𝚂𝚑𝚊𝚞𝚗𝚊 𝚂𝚑𝚒𝚙𝚖𝚎𝚗 + 𝚈𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝙰𝚕𝚙𝚑𝚊𝚋𝚎𝚝 (’96)

Warnings: Gore, Smut, homoerotic teenage friendship, and mature themes. 

Notes: She is so babygirl it makes me hurt   🥺 @zhivaxo​

                            *.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

Shauna is someone who is entirely an act of service person. She will do anything for someone she loves, do your homework, drive you anywhere, and always be there to do things you don’t want to do. Shauna likes to work hard for you, so you never have to lift another finger in your life again. Shauna isn’t good with her words, but how she touches you screams all her thoughts to you. She is very intense sexually by holding/grabbing you with a firm grip or kissing you like she is devouring you whole. 

Blood: How messy are they willing to get regarding their darling?

Very. Blood isn’t much of a question for Shauna or you. Shauna is very skilled at masking her darkness and hiding the darker desires she wishes to tell you. You see the grimaces when she draws a knife to the neck of one of the girls during a hunting accident. Shauna, slowly losing her mind from starvation and cabin fever, will start whispering to you what she wants to do sometimes. 

“Shauna? Are you still up?” You whisper to her softly, her arms still wrapped around your waist protectively. 

“Yes. What?”

“Baby, I-I,” you whisper as you stare into the darkness of the attic. You felt a shiver go down your spine from the wind and the way Shauna’s fingers grip your flesh. Forming small sore spots in your soft skin. “I am still messed up that we ate-“ 

“Bunny, please stop talking.” Shauna sighs softly, her nose nudges the back of your ear, and her breath hits your hair. “It was us three, you know. It was always me, you, and Jackie. But Jackie died. And Jackie feeds us. We might survive. You are fed, and that is all I can think about right now, okay.” 

“Okay, sorry. Hold me.” You say and cuddle into her, deciding not to think about it like her. 

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

Shauna would not kidnap her partner, and it would be more of an installed Stockholm Syndrome from the years out in the wilderness. Shauna is the butcher. Shauna is why you were FED and would have died without her. You could not leave her from the guilt of her being your protector when you came back to civilization. I think the only way Shauna Shipmen would realistically kidnap someone would be if she married them and kept them in the house with her. But honestly, I think this would just be a toxic situation that y’all go to couples therapy. It would solve over time because Shauna does have a heart and knows deep down knows that she is fucked up in a lot of ways, so she is somewhat chill even though she still would like it if you were in the house. Shauna would honestly treat you like she treats Jeff, but with less secrecy about the woods, it looks more like you two don’t talk about it instead of trying to hide what happened. Shauna does love you and doesn’t like to upset you, but because y’all are not new to each other, she is like, “You’ll get over it.”. 

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

I fully believe that Shauna would force-feed you meat. You were heartbroken to eat your friend and couldn’t do it; you would rather starve. Shauna would not take that, and neither does the Yellowjackets. Shauna would push the food in your mouth and then put her strong veiny hand over your mouth. She would stare you down as you chew the food she served; she wouldn’t let go of your face until you were fed enough. Shauna lost Jackie, and she will not lose her other best friend (that being you <3). 

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

I would say Shauna is guarded and the more quiet partner. She likes being a support for a more outgoing personality, and she likes to protect that person with everything she has. Shauna will side with opinions she disagrees with, fight anyone you ask, and just be the best support in your life. However, Vulnerability is something Shauna doesn’t like, and she doesn’t like exposing those parts of herself. She is the type to cry in private because she doesn’t want to be seen crying. So Shauna doesn’t expose her inner thoughts and feelings, it feels unnatural for Shauna in some ways, and she gets cagey when pushed too far. 

However, there are points where she is forced to be vulnerable because of the crash and Jackie’s death, affecting both for how close you both were to Jackie. Shauna doesn’t cry; when she does, it is like an explosion, just like her rage and fear; it just boils out of her. She is very passionate and emotional when she is exposed in that way. You always make sure to be extra gentle to her by holding and crying. 

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

Shauna would fight harder. Shauna is a fighter through and through, and if she thinks you are leaving her, that is her only line of defense. She started little fights, maybe even big ones, and then she would pull you in with her big brown eyes again. She doesn’t like how it feels when you pull away or disagree; you two were bff girlfriend soulmates that are supposed to agree on everything 🙄

“STOP FIGHTING ME!” Shauna yells at you as she grips your wrists. She holds the butcher's knife in her other hand, trying to teach you how to cut up a body correctly. 

“Shauna, stop it-” 

“No, you need to learn this! You need to do a job here that isn’t picking berries; people will start to notice.” 

“Shauna, It’s Annie. I can’t do this-” 

“You have to be fed. We all need to be fed. Shut up, and do this.” Shauna hisses at you and pulls you in, forcing you to follow her hands as she slices into the flesh of your friend. 

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

Shauna doesn’t play a game with you, but she does toy with you a lot. She likes to see how your eyes widen when the tip of her knife is on your throat; she likes to bite your flesh harder than needed so that you bruise a deep purple and green, and she likes to remind you who is in power in your relationship. In some moments in the wilderness, Shauna does become aggressive, and sometimes she comes to become that way from someone coming too close to her, making her jealous. 

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

The worst experience with Shauna would be her not communicating her feelings of monogamy and blurring the lines between jealous play and boarding on cheating. Shauna kind of likes the feeling of other people lusting after you, she knows it makes you feel sexy, and it makes her want to claim you over and over and over again. But I feel like this type of playing in a relationship will end up with a few situations of actual jealousy and redefining the lines in the sand for you two to be fun. I feel like Shauna might go too far and kiss someone else infront of you as you two are partying, you might be dancing with someone dirtily, and she would play off of it and kiss a girl close to her. It would be a toxic moment, a Toxic cycle of overwhelming feelings. 

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

Shauna sees you two living in Rhode Island while she goes to Brown and you two living out the late ‘90s lesbian dream in a city (mainly because y’all are from a small town and thinking moving to the city will fix the homophobia). Shauna wants to get roots with you and see what happens with your future. She sees a future with you and doesn't think she won't be with you in the upcoming years, but she doesn't necessarily plan on anything specific, like proposing or starting a family. She is mainly focused on you and her future and setting that up. She's just trying to get through the wilderness, though.

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

Shauna wants you to have your own life and doesn’t mind you talking or being friends with other people. She even encourages times when you have girl nights with your friends without her (Not her friends) and lets you do your thing most of the time. She gets jealous when people flirt with you, with or without you knowing, but most importantly, if the spotlight in your life moves away from her. Shauna will end it if it’s another girl, friends, school, work, family. She doesn’t give a fuck. 

So when Shauna Shipmen is jealous, it's a beast. She doesn’t cope. Shauna's motherfucking Shipmen lashes out by punching whoever threatens her relationship, she will start fights, and she will fucking pull hair and earrings out if it came down to it. Shauna will make it your problem, and she will punish you in many different ways for this.  Shauna will say cruel words to whoever is taking your attention, and sometimes you are collateral damage that pushes you further away.

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

BFF girlfriend soulmates. Shauna and Jackie, there was a power imbalance, with Jackie being the more dominant one of the two, but with you, Shauna is dominant. She subtly controls you in the gaze of being a friend and correcting you to make others like you more. But she just wants to have that power over you. However, Shauna doesn’t rub it into your face because it just strokes her ego, and you seem to enjoy it when she tells you how to do things like skinning deer or dancing. 

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

You, Jackie, and Shauna have been friends since pre-k. You and Shauna follow Jackie around and hype her up every chance, forming a closeness that you and Shauna never had with Jackie. As you enter middle school, you and Shauna devise a perfect idea because Jackie started dating Jeff and talking about how good it feels to kiss someone. You two decided that you should practice kissing before you started dating boys, and you two did it every time you had a sleepover. Over time, things started no longer about “Practicing”; instead, it was just excitement from lusting after each other. Kisses became makes outs, make-outs became heavy petting under the covers, and then they became something more. 

Shauna’s plush lips gently peck at the side of your cheek as you rest on Jackie’s bedroom floor. Jackie always sent you two on the floor at her sleepovers. It used to be annoying, but now that you and Shauna have used your space away from Jackie. 

Shauna’s hand runs down your side, her finger pressing onto the soft edges of your waist, adoring your body's curves. She pulls her face away from your cheek to look down into your eyes. Her soft, puppy brown eyes look down at you with heat and passion. 

She whispers as another hand delicately touches your throat to keep you looking into her eyes. “I don’t want ‘this’ to be practiced anymore.” 

Her other hand slides under your pajama bottoms and underwear, grazing your clit with her long finger. Your breath hitches in your throat as you panic to stay quiet, as jackies soft snores can be heard from across the room. 

“I don’t either.” You whimper. 

Shauna smirks as she drives in to kiss you in a devouring kiss, her fingers easing into you with two of her wide and long fingers. Your legs open and wrap around her waist. You struggle not to moan into her lips as she keeps kissing you with force.

“You’re mine. I would never let you date some guy.” Shauna hotly whispers to you as she comes to kiss your neck. Leaving little love bites on your jaw, you muffle an ecstasy groan in your palm. 

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from how they act around everyone else?

No, because she is brutally honest about herself and her feelings in her guarded way. IF Shauna doesn’t want to do something, she will, you know, and not do it. She doesn’t fake anything for anyone. She just acts herself because she was blessed with the confidence to be Shauna simply. And Shauna doesn’t mask her ways or how she acts because she is not changing that. 

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

When Shauna is unhappy with you or punishing you for something in the relationship, you will know because she will make it your problem. She is an immature 18-year-old and will give you the silent treatment, but it would be more like she would ice you out and ignore your whole presence. Shauna would move her sleeping bag away a few feet, just enough for you to notice she moved away from you but not enough for you to say anything without sounding crazy. Shauna is not above spanking or tying you up somewhere to make a point if you have been naughty, even before the crash and in the wilderness. 

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

Not at all oppressive. Shauna wants you to be your person, and she likes that about you; she doesn’t want to be a dictator over your life. Shauna likes to have her own space, and a very healthy part of your relationship is that there is space to be your person, unlike the relationship with Jackie. 

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

Shauna is 50/50 and is okay one day and not the other. Shauna’s patience runs thin most of the time, but she tries her hardest not to be a bitch about it. She gives space as much as she can but is very proactive, so she has a tough time with it. 

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

No. Shauna would make you Jackie 2.0 and eat you to make you a part of her. You can’t ever die if you are inside her, where you're supposed to be. 

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

Shauna would never feel guilty for keeping you with her through manipulation  and pressure. She simply does not give a fuck because she is getting what she wants, and she doesn’t do anything to you that she thinks is wrong. She treats you like the only person that fucking matters, but that doesn’t mean she is perfect and wouldn’t use that info against you in a fight. 

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

Jackie’s death. 

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

Shauna won’t stand it and would do anything to stop it. She would break fucking door if she had to. She would force-feed you if she had to. She would fucking kill anyone she had to. She would do anything for you because you are the only reason she is going. However, Comforting isn’t Shauna’s forte; she doesn’t always succeed when she tries to comfort you when you cry. She just holds you, gets quiet, and hopes that whatever power there is is enough. That she is enough. 

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic Yandere?

Shauna is very much POLY and/or OPEN! I think she doesn’t might other people having you in some way, but she doesn’t want that spotlight taken away. She wants to be your world but wants you to have your own. She is still only a teenager, so she just goes with the traditional monogamy thing but sometimes talks about how ridiculous some people are about relationship rules. 

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

Sex and companionship. However, you better never come back because trust is broken, and Shauna would not be good to you at all and would become a fucking monster, yandere. Like kill everyone and lock them in the attic if you try to do shit again and exploit the vulnerable. 

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

No, intentionally at all. Shauna gets a little rough with her words, hands, and rope. She doesn’t mean it, but she leaves marks on you. 

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

Do anything for them. Shauna would revere you and would make you her whole world. You stain everything for her, and she wants the same. Like a red marker on a notebook bleeding through every page, it is marked by you. 

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

Shauna would never snap if you two were friends that turned into lovers. She would be silent and wouldn’t think about her actions if there were a moment she would snap. And in all honesty, there is no telling what she is capable of doing. 

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

Yes, over the years, with the SS and homoerotic friendship turned intense first relationship. But Shauna wouldn’t break your brain because she loves how you are wholeheartedly. She just kind of trains you with Pavlov's dog trick and love. She wants you to be you still; she just wants to own you. 

Yandere Level

3/10 (She is intense and overbearing, but she isn’t scary or threatening with expressing the more intense things.)

Freedom Level

10/10 (Girl, you are free, and you are your own person, YAY!)

Lottie ✿   Taissa ✿

#Yellowjackets #yellowjackets x reader #shauna shipmen #Shauna shipmen x reader #dark!shauna shipmen #dark!shauna shipmen x reader #yandere! yellowjackets #Dark! Yellowjackets #lesbian #shauna shipmen smut #Shauna shipmen angst

[madara-fate]

i don't understand how u stay sane after all the ask you get everyday. people are always talking how bad ss is when in fact it was really well written in part one. sakura stopping sasuke from the curse, sasuke giving her advice and motivation to become better, how he made her realize that the world was not how she first thought. both of them shared a lot of moments when they were alone with orochimaru and sakura started to fall in love for real. they are very subtle, and even if there were difficult times, she didnt want to cut him off not because she was "obsessed", but because he was his friend too and family. people makes fun of her for not killing sasuke when is one of the mains reasons why i like sasusaku, she knows that he may have his reasons and that his heart is still pure. even if sasuke didnt ask her for that, in the end thats what he always wanted. he said he was a kid starving for love. besides, the two confessions are actually really beautiful, this is not sakura being pathetic, is her being vulnerable and brave, telling him she just wants him to be happy even if she don't understand his pain or has the power to stop him. people loves to pull the "she is manipulative" card when she never forced him to accept her feelings or touched him with weird intentions. people who try to use minato & kushina dynamic to make fun of ss needs to understand that minato is not sasuke. he is not going to show his love the way minato does. they are two different people. now, kishimoto sidelined sakura a lot and i wish he would have explored them more, but they are not forced. if sasuke fell in love with her is because he saw how great she was and thats it. i don't like gaiden or boruto that much if i'm being honest, i really dislike kishimoto decision with sasuke conclusion, but this is for the last war arc mainly. what i mean is, everything that NS/SK/SNS blame SS to be is pure bullshit. they are in fact the couple that makes the most sense and they are never going to make me hate unconditional love. kishimoto makes sasusaku feels real, and people who thinks the genjutsu is sasuke being disgusted with her just like he was when karin touched him needs to stop being biased because it was a pretty obvious paralel that kishimoto made on porpouse. both of them were holding that "thank you" even when they were falling apart. sasuke even remembered his family . no other couple has the same tension and moments like ss, and for a shonen, i love how sakura showers sasuke with love because he fucking deserves it. i mean she told him "if i could have take all of your pain onto myself to comfort you, i would have!" How thats not beautiful?! She adores him. anyways, i hope you never fall out of love of ss, they are really full of love and forgiveness. 😊

That was very well said 👏

And don't worry, I'll always be a SS fan ^_^

#Sasuke Uchiha #Sakura Haruno #sasusaku

[romana-after-dark]

The Wrong Way (Dark Ending): Going Under, Part 2

Raider!Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

Raider!Tommy Miller x Fem!Reader

Spotify Playlist

Summery: After you give birth to Ellie in the cabin, Joel fins you and Tommy, besting Tommy in a fight. What happens to you? What happens to Ellie, Tommy, Lorenzo and the rest of the family Little One has acquired? How does Little One learn to cope with her new reality? Does she fall into the darkness that surrounds Joel and all he touches? Can Joel really change for you and your daughter?

WARNINGS FOR FULL FIC, NOT CHAPTER BY CHAPTER UNLESS SOMETHING NEW IS ADDED AFTER MASTER WARNING LIST: DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT!!!! Fic contains graphic depictions of sexual assault, rape, molestation, dubcon/non con. MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH WARNING, graphic violence, murder, manipulation, the horrors, Joel being Joel, Tommy being kinda pathetic, Joel's weird sexual fantasies, breeding kink, abuse of power. Just.... all the bad.

Extra on the executions. Suicidal ideation. Sorry, I should've put tjat in the warnings first chapter but I just came up, so this is your warning now. Im tryingto think of all the hardest stuff that happens now so I can warn ahead of time but sometimes it just happens while writing you know? Things come up. Dont say i didnt want you with major character death

a/n who watched Avatar TLA growing up? There a reference to it at the very end.... that episode traumatized me

*******************

It had been four days before Joel came and got you. The room was cold from the cool outside air; it was far from freezing, only a crisp Wyoming early fall so far. This had proven a benefit, despite the way you shivered under tattered blankets, as it aired out the bucket of piss and shit that was your toilet.

Ellie had to be dead by now. Infants need to be fed regularly, every 2-3 hours according to Maura… your breasts hurt, they hurt so fucking bad sometimes you cried from just that… but it wasn’t a hard leap from your depressed mindset. The pain was aching and you had to squeeze the milk out of your engorged breasts just to have a little relief. Your vagina hurt, too. Luckily you had stopped bleeding, although you wished you’d just bleed out already. Everything was pain and your dreams in the few moments you were sleeping were filled with nightmares.

You weren’t sure what you were living for. You laid on the mattress hour after hour, staring at the broken glass from your fit, thinking you could easily kill yourself… The only thing that stopped you was the effort it would require. Dazed, almost… that was the best way to describe it, all the hours blurring together

Honestly, you hadn't expected Joel to return at all. You figured he killed Ellie or just let her starve, killed Tommy and would just let you waste away in this god forsaken room, the room where so much happened.

Tommy taking your virginity after you begged him, playing go fish for hours.

Joel raping you, loving you, cuddling you.

Nick.

When he walked into the room, you didn’t even look up. You didn’t have the energy anymore. When his strong arms scooped you up, leading you out of the piss-smelling room, you instinctively wrapped your arms and legs around him like before… it had been habit at this point, after a year of doing this and you were no stranger to your body betraying you.

Joel, in turn, held you close. “Just look what you’ve done, hermosa… but it’s okay, we can fix it.”

“No” you whine, head in the crook of his neck. Why was his smell comforting after all that had happened? “We can’t fix this.” Your baby is gone, after all you did to try and save her.

“Yes, yes we can, you just gotta be good.” Of course Joel thought this was fixable. Ellie was only ever his replacement for Sarah, so she was replaceable herself. Joel would put a baby in you again and if it was a boy? Another one. And another, and another until you died, then he’d move onto the next vulnerable young girl.

Joel took you outside. When you saw the raiders all surrounding the yard, a yard that had previously been your comfort, a place you imagined your baby playing, you figured this is where he killed you. You were ready.

“Watch her” And he went into the house. The sunshine and fresh air felt nice, you had to admit. When he returned, he carried a little bundle; the baby blanket Mrs. Munoz knitted, with Ellie’s little face barely peeking out.

“ELLIE!” Joy and sunshine filled your heart again, and suddenly nothing else matter than the fact your daughter lived. Ecstatic, you dash towards her as all the pain of earlier seeming long gone in your desperate need for her, but Joel wouldn’t let you have it just yet. He moved her out from his firm grasp, still holding her but seemingly threatening to drop her. “JOEL NO!”

“She’s safe, little one, don’t you worry… as long as you behave.” He went back to rocking her, a soft expression as he looked at his daughter.

“H-how is she alive? She didn’t feed, I thought- I thought she was dead!”

“You really think I’d let my daughter starve?” His voice was condescending, a slight scoff at the end. “C’mon now, you can’t be that stupid. I know there's not a lot going on in that bimbo housewife brain of yours but I thought you had a little more faith in you than this.” He was… he was laughing at you. All the things he did to you, all the things he’s said… why did this hurt so bad? Joel never called you stupid before… and didn’t he… he threatened to hurt her just a moment ago, didn’t he? Or did he? Maybe you were reading into it too much…

“I’m not… I’m not stupid.” Defensively, you spoke but your eyes remained on your daughter.

“Oh, of course not, sweet girl, of course not.” Was he making fun of you? Why were the other men chuckling? “But I had a plan incase you couldn’t produce milk. I’ve got a freezer full of breast milk from other women, and even some formula. It’s expired but, it’ll do in a pinch.”

As relieved as you were about Ellie living, guilt punched at you. “You… Joel, you took milk away from hungry babies?”

Joel rolled his eyes. “No, of course not. Mrs. Little Feather was producing an abundance so I paid her well for a stash, just in case. I’ll always protect my family” He turned to one of the men and nodded.

Tommy was pushed out the house, hands bound behind him and he was shoved to the ground.

“TOMMY!” But you didn’t dare move, not when Joel had Ellie.

“Honey, fuck, I’m sorry, I-” He was cut off by Joel kicking him in the stomach. Tommy’s left hand was bandaged up from the stabbing. 

But Tommy’s reveal wasn’t even the worst. Out of the house came  Zach and Lorenzo, bound and gagged, quickly followed by the biggest shock yet. June. It had been a whole year since you’d seen her, never even saying goodbye when you were ripped away from your family. The four of them knelt on the ground, hands tied behind their backs, Lorenzo and Zach at one end of the yard, Tommy and June behind them. Joel shoved you towards Zach and Lorenzo, the guards taking off their mouth gags.

Zach yelled your name. “Run!” But Lorenzo knew better. Lorenzo knew there was no running from Joel, and there was no leaving Ellie behind. You stumble towards them, taking them in your arms. Joel was going to kill them.

“I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry…” You sob, knowing this was because of you.

“Sweetheart.” Lorenzo’s voice called to you, oddly calm given the circumstances. “Sweetheart, look at me.” He waited until you looked him, Lorenzo’s large, brown, droopy eyes calming you the way they always did. “It’s okay. Zach and I… we’ve already made peace with this. It’s gonna be okay.”

“No it’s not!” You protest. “He’s gonna kill you both we will have NOTHING!”

Zach. “You’ll have Dolli.” You look to your big brother. “And I know it’s hard, and I know it’s shit right now, honey it’s shit, but you can’t leave her with Joel, okay? So you gotta do this. Think of mom, think of all she did so we could survive.”

A fresh bout of tears. You sniffle, smelling the grass and the dirt and the filth surrounding you. “But I can’t.” You sob violently. You can’t do this without help, you never could. 

“You can-”

“I’m not strong!”

Lorenzo. “You’ve already been strong, always. You survived a lifetime of hell and you put up a hell of a fight, again and again. You’re gonna raise Dolly to be strong like you, okay?”

Ellie. Ellie needed you. Nothing else mattered but her. “Her name… her name Ellie. Joel chose Dolly, I chose Ellie June.”

Zach smiled. “Ellie June. I love it.”

“Your goddaughter, Zach.”

He nodded. “I’ll keep an eye on her, I promise. We both will.”

Joel steps up, still holding Ellie close to his chest with his left hand. “Alright, ‘nuff talk’n”

“No, Joel, please!” You desperately cling to your brothers, a feeble attempt to save their lives when you feel yourself being picked up by familiar arms; Tommy wrapped a strong arm around your middle pulling you away. “TOMMY LET ME GO!”

Kicking, screaming, fighting, you try to pull off him but your legs dangle, treading air.

“Joel.” Tommy called to his brother. “Dolly’s ears.” He referenced the baby in his arms as Joel pulled out the gun.

“There’s a silencer.”

Horror and anguish as you cry for your family, Lorenzo and Zach both mouthing that they loved you although you couldn’t hear a sound anymore, except the sharp eeeeee and muffled voices. The panic had set it.

Lorenzo and Zach come closer together, their bound up finger intertwining together. Joel strides up the the couple, covers Ellie’s ears with his hand and chest and-

BANG! BANG!

Zach and Lorenzo’s bodies felt limp to the ground, and you didn’t have it in you to scream any more. You went into shock, freezing up and zoning out, only barely aware of Joel comforting Ellie as she cried; no doubt startled from the shooting and commotion. 

Joel spoke to his men, but you weren’t sure what he said… the only thing in your sights was your dead family and he thought that June and Tommy were probably next…wait, when was Tommy untied?

Joel hand grabbed your face and you heard a faint ‘Joel, stop’ but he didn’t. It was the middle of the sentence before you started to understand again. “-are both dead now. Jack is dead, Maura is dead. But her,” He pointed his gun at June, stepping towards her. “She’s alive. Zach tried to take her, thinking it’d save her. Look what good that did huh?”

You couldn’t speak, but Tommy did. “C’mon, man, she’s got nothing to do with this, don’t kill her.”

“Well Thomas, I’m glad you care so much, that’ll make the next part easier.”

“What are you-”

Joel ignored him. “Set her down.” Tommy did. You wobbled a bit but got to your feet, trying to concentrate on behaving… Zach was right, you needed to do this for Ellie. He walked back to you. “See how easily he listens to me? Like a guard dog. Tommy always was good at following orders.” He looked too Tommy again. “Take three steps back.” Tommy did. “Spin around” Tommy rolled his eyes, but did. “Shake you butt”

“Joel-”

“Do it Tommy”

Tommy did, looking humiliated in the process he wiggled his hips.

“Oh come ooooon” Joel laughs. “Put on a show”

“This is humiliating”

“THAT’S THE POINT!” 

You wince at the outburst, wanting to hold Ellie so painfully bad… her little nose was getting runny from the cold, even with a little hat on.

Joel raised the gun to Ellie, and Tommy immidietly complied, shouting at him to knock it off. Jaw set tight, Tommy bent over and stuck out his butt, shaking it to the chuckles of the other men. Tommy fucking Miller, Joel’s previous right hand man. Feared leader, reduced to this indignity… You looked over to June, still bound and gagged and on her knees, looking utterly confused.

“Good job, Tommy” Joel turned back to you. “See how easy it was for Tommy to listen to me? Always been like that, following me around like a lost puppy, desperate for my approval… you know why I untied his hands, little one?” He didn’t wait for your answer. “Because I need you to know he watched. He watched me kill your brother and Lorenzo, he held you back while he watch. He watched me take you, he watched me fuck you on the table, he watched me brand you, and if he had been here last week he would’ve watched as I hung you.”

The whimper from your mouth at the memory is pathetic, but you keep your mouth shut as your eyes cry. 

Joel perked up. It was like a shift, that dramatic change in his personalities that was so hard to keep up with. “So here’s my vision! It’s gonna take a while until we can all trust each other but I want us to all be a family.” He nudged his gun, and one of the men moved to June. Joel must have planned this all out, orchestrated it… He gave the gun to his man, and yanked down June’s gag. It was clear she had been crying heavily, but would not give Joel the dignity of begging for her life. June was strong like that. Sweet, kindhearted; a soft person who was undeniably stubborn. “Beautiful thing, aren’t you. Gonna make such a pretty wife.”

June was too proud to beg, but you’d been long suffering indigities. You had no pride left. “No, no, no, no, no JOEL! Don’t do this, I’ll be good, I promise!”

“Relax, bebita.” He laughed at you. “She’s not for me. You’re the only one for me, you know that right? You gave me my daughter back, you’ll always be my wife, no matter what.”

You were more confused than ever; a cooling breeze rustled your skirt, making you realize just how damn sweaty you’d gotten during all this. “Then what-”

Joel took the collar of June’s shirt, dragging her towards Tommy and throwing her at him as she squeaked in shock. Although he caught her, diving towards her falling body and preventing it from hitting the ground Tommy looked as confused as you did.

“I don’t want-”

“She’s your wife now”

“JOEL!” He held her and June clung to him. “This is insane, I don’t want a wife!”

Uninterested, Joel shrugged him off. “Fuck her, don’t, I don’t really care.” Joel strode towards you again but stopped to look over his shoulder at Tommy. “But knowing you, you probably will. Just a matter of whether you hold her down or not.”

Tommy, for all his weaknesses and flaws… you knew he was not that type of man.

“You and June will live in your old room. She can’t leave the room unsupervised until I say so” He turned to you. “Same with you, little one. But Tommy’s gonna watch you both. Know why?”

Finally, fucking finally, Joel handed you your daughter and you scooped her up, sobbing. “Hey baby, hi. Mommy’s here, yeah, mommy’s here now, it’s okay”

The sun was beginning to set, the shadows of the trees casting long over your dead family. “Because I’m choosing to spare his life, He owes me. And if we can all get along, no more run’n, no more fighting, no more ‘Joel stop!’” he mocked. “Then the 5 of us and whatever other children we’re blessed with can all live together as one big happy family.”

*

Joel sat you between his legs like you always used to after a bath, Ellie in both your arms as he nursed. “Knew you’d fuck up that room, little one. My brave girl. Always so strong, so resilient. You wanted to get to Dolly, didn’t you?”

“Yes” it was the truth, at least. You couldn’t help but feel comfort in Joel’s arms even now… what was wrong with you? Why were you like this? How had he broken you down this badly? “Just… just wanted to be with her…”

“I understand. She’s perfect, isn’t she?”

“Absolutely perfect” and she was, Ellie was everything.

A knock on the door; Joel beckoned them in.

“Watch your fucking eyes.” He snapped at his man bringing you food and water, despite this very man having been there when you were raped in the kitchen… a little breastfeeding wouldn’t had much to the fantasies. 

When Ellie was done, fallen quickly asleep, Joel took her and laid her in her crib before doing what you knew was only inevitable. 

He laid down beside you, handings trailing you body, muttering about much he missed you, how much he missed your body. “My perfect girl…” In gentle whispers, he spoke praises into your mouth between kisses, hand trailing between your legs. You hated your body for responding to him, you hated the way he made you feel so good and you hated how you would kiss him hours after murdering your brother and friend… But Ellie. Ellie is what mattered. Ellie needed to be safe, she needed her mom, and she needed no more of her family dead. So, you kissed Joel. You kissed Joel the way you had kissed Tommy only earlier this week as he swore to you he’d be the father of the child in that crib. Your life with Tommy crumbled down before you, as did any chance of happiness.

“Joel, I haven't bathed in days…” 

“Don’t care, need you”

“Joel it huuurts” You begin to cry, despite knowing that only ever has turned him on more. “Please?” 4 days was not a lot of time to heal, the tearing still evident in you.

Pulling away, Joel looks at you, cupping your face with large, calloused hands. “We need to work together on this, little one. Give a little, get a little. For Dolly.”

Damn him. Damn him and the way he made your stomach burn, damn him and the way his touch felt so good and how you wanted to just be a happy family with him even now… And damn him for knowing how to use Ellie to manipulate you.

“Can we… can we do anal?”

The surprise was evident on his face, bed creaking as he sat up. “You’d prefer to take it in your ass instead of your pussy?”

As you gaze up at him, the concern on his face was clear… oh how he confused you. “I think it would hurt less.”

His features softened as you spoke, laying back down beside you to kiss your neck. “Just focus on my hand right now, sweet girl.” And you did. You did because you were a mess, you were disgusting, you were heartbroken and sad and lonely and you wanted Tommy but you had Joel and he had treated you well didn’t he? Maybe this was survivable… maybe. But you had to please him, and Joel always made you cum. Your pleasure turned him on… so you allowed yourself to sink into the swirling touch of Joel Miller’s fingers.

His touch was gentle but pressing and urgent; patience yet needy, as if making you cum would rebuild the bubble that he had built all those months… and it just might. Your cunt feel empty when it pulses around nothing but you are thankful you are able to get this wet, to orgasm still… The natural lubrication will help with taking his dick up your ass. When the climax was over, you took the chance to relax… it would hurt less if you relaxed.

“Roll over” He ordered, and you did as you were told before Joels straddled your thighs, hands rubbing up and down your mostly-clothes body. “Such a pretty girl… such a perfect girl, and all mine… I don’t care that Tommy fucked this sweet little pussy” Joel reached down to rub your swollen lips. “I don’t care. Once you’re healed up, I’m gonna cum inside you every goddamn day until you give me another baby, gonna fuck a baseball team into you.”

Of course he is. Of course. You wouldn’t expect nothing else from him; he wanted to keep you trapped with him forever… All the love you felt for Ellie was going to multiply tenfold, and you could never, ever leave with that many.

As Joel lined his cock up, swiping it up and down your asscrack and the crease of your thighs, you burry your face in the pillow. Joel wasn’t going to prep you at all, was he? He was going to just fuck you, rip you open and punish you-

“Oh little one… you’ve had a long day, haven't you? Yeah… You’ve been good, I’ll meet you halfway” Joel slid his cock between your plump thighs.

You lift your head off the pillow. “What? What are you doing?”

He began to pump, fucking your thighs and making the bed creak enough you made a mental note to ask Jack to oil it- fuck, Jack was dead, dead because he saw you trying to escape and took you back to Lorenzo. Dead because he went to get Zach to save his life… All of them ended up dead anyway. Jack, Maura, Lorenzo, and my dear brother who had only ever tried to help you. Now June was essentially Tommy’s wife just as you were Joel’s and although you trusted Tommy not to hurt her, she was in a house full of raiders… and Joel.

“Let it out, baby, let it out.” Joel cooed as he thrusted between your legss; one or twice he spit down between them to keep the lubrication going but it wasn’t long before he pulled out, jerking himself as he painted a picture of his cum on your ass and thighs. “Beautiful girl… beautiful.” The cum was like lotion as he rubbed it along you, rubbing your aching muscles… Did he love you? Truly?

When Joel leaves to boil water for the bath, you go to pick up Ellie. You needed her, needed her painfully. You wanted to make up for lost time in those four days she was gone, and away from you; she needed skin to skin, she needed love, she needed her mama’s voice… she needed you.

Joel could hear you from outside the door, peaking through the crack to watch you cuddle his daughter… you were a good mom. You loved Sarah like he did, you cared for her, you wanted the best for her. You just needed to learn, that’s all. Learn that Joel was the only man that mattered, learn that giving Sarah a family with siblings and two loving parents was more important than your own personal feelings. You simple needed to learn that Joel knew what’s best. He’d take care of you, take care of you like he always did; protecting you. He wouldn’t make the mistakes he made with Nick, Tommy, Lorenzo, Jack… Tommy would watch you while he was gone, but he knew Tommy, and Tommy was a simple man. Place a pretty girl in his bed, and it wouldn’t take long before they were fucking, and once Tommy fucked a girl, well… he latched on fast. Probably his mommy issues.

You were so sweet with Dolly, so careful, so attentive… even now, you sang to her and Joel thought this was the only sight he needed to see for the rest of his life: You, freshly fucked and beautiful with Dolly asleep in your arms as you sang.

What Joel didn’t know was your thoughts were consumed by your brother, dead outside with a gunshot in his head. Maybe you could ask him and Lorenzo to be buried together… it was the least you could do for your first protector… your soldier, your guardian who died in vain fighting for your safety after a lifetime of taking your beatings. 

“Leaves from the vine

Falling so slow

Like fragile tiny shells

Drifting in the foam

Little soldier boy

Come marching home

Brave soldier boy

Comes marching home”

The bath after sex felt exactly like it always had.

*******************

YEEEEEEEEEEEESH goodbye Zach and Lorenzo!!! my babies! my favorite couple! (im so sorry fen. I murdered your boy!) Also sorry angela buuuuuuuuuutttt you knew this was happening.

Honestly my heart aches for Zach. I have an older brother who was largly my protector in my childhood, my best friend for so long and I love him lots. Thats who zach is based off of for me but i dont wanna give a faceclaim bc I tryyyyyyy to make little one race inclusive (i know i didn't do perfect with the details of her bruisings but it can be hard) If any of my mutuals wanna see a pic Ill show you XD

Remember when I said taylor russle was June's faceclaim? I lied. I saw a picture of Alisha Boe and was like!!!!!! wait no thats her!!!! so now shes on this header.

JUNE AND TOMMY PLOT TWIST what do we think will happen there??? (June is canon bisexual, so dont let her marrying Maura in ghost of you series throw you off. She's the one who told little one all she really knew about sex.)

PLEASE LEMME KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS AND THEORIES!!!! RBS ARE SO IMPORTANT TO SPREAD WORK but I like you know what you guys are thinkig!!! what part was the hardest to read? what are your thoughts on how this goes? One june and tommy? the deaths of jack and maura as well as tommy and lorenzo? Joel suddenly being very condesending to little one and almost like a schoolyard bully to tommy? all this happening while holding ellie?

He kinda reminds me of Joe Goldberg in You lol carrying Henry around with him on his lil stalking trips

@pimosworld @rubyfruitjungle @moriartyyouwhore @k-ra @the-fox-den @jenna-ortega @alwaysmicado @lunar-ghoulie @ladynightingale @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @maura-honey @fandxmslxt69 @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog

#Joel Miller #Joel Miller smut #tw rape #dub con #non con #dark joel miller #romana after dark #dark!Joel #the last of us hbo #joel miller fic #joel miller reader #joel miller reade smut #dark joel miller reader #tommy miller fem reader #tommy miller smut #tommy miller fem!reader #the wrong way fic #the wrong way series #tommy miller

[paradisepoisoned]

Okay I need to ask... what the hell is 💊💒💊The Ecstasy of our Virgin Mother Saint Mandy 💊💒💊 ???

*Rafiki voice* : It is time.

*CUE VIOLENT KAZOO MUSIC*

The Ecstasy of Our Virgin Mother Saint Mandy is my Eldritch baby, a grotesque abomination, and my first attempt at writing anything seriously. I will not say much as I’m hoping to post it by the end of November, but I will say It's a Mello/Near fanfic analyzing their relationship from wammy's till Kira's death. I will also say that if you plan to read it, prepare to be abandoned and forsaken by God just as these orphans have.

Enjoy the opening under the cut and don't be shy lemme know what you think even if you hate it I guess lolll💒

As so the old proverb goes…

“For want of a nail the shoe was lost.

For want of the shoe the horse was lost.

For want of a horse the rider was lost.

For want of a rider the message was lost.

For want of a message the battle was lost.

For want of a battle the kingdom was lost.

And all for the want of a nail.”

_________________________________________

Proverbially enough, all his life, Near has wanted for nothing. It's not that he’s never been hungry or in need but rather he is simply content without. Near can do without. Hunger is a need, it's biological; but want— want is a desire, a want is a wish and wishes to Near are nothing but storybook nonsense and consequently a waste of time.

Wanting is a choice, a choice that unavoidably leads to demise. Want breeds attachment, attachment breeds love and with love comes blindness,weakness, and vulnerability. All things Near would happily rather choose to live without. 

If wanting is a choice and if Near ever had a choice in anything at all, Near would—

Well, …quite frankly, Near would rather choose to starve and die.

But Near never had a choice; —in any of this. Which is fine because Near knows how to do without.

Near can do without choices. He can do without hobbies and interests. He can do without having dreams or true aspirations. Near can do without having friends or family. He can do without comforting conversations and the warmth of someone’s company. He can do without knowing what his mother’s embrace would feel like, without knowing what they might have had in common, —without knowing if she ever loved him. 

Near can do without love. Near doesnt want love. He doesn't want any of these things because none of these things make a good detective and Near is a rational person and there is no rationality in wanting what you can’t have. 

It’s sound enough logic Near thinks, it's just unfortunate that sound logic does nothing to combat the irony of the number one person on top of the ‘Things Near Can Never Have’ list, was blessed with the God given hands of a virtuoso that liked to thrum and pluck the delicate, nylon, thin, threaded cords holding together all the seraphim-disguised boy’s principles of logic and sanity.

 Mello never needed the permission of logic. Mello has never had a problem doing whatever he wants and while it's always elusive what the blonde boy really wants, the sadistic musician nonetheless plays him like a theremin. Without even touching him he seizes control of the humming neurons inside the young orphan’s brain, commanding full attention just being in the room and sends Near’s brain humming. conducting and coercing out Philharmonic Orchestra grade symphonies that drown out all sound of rational thought. 

But what’s far worse however is when those sunlight kissed hands do touch his moonlight cursed body, they play him as steady, knowing, fingers on harp strings do. He plays him patiently and determined, until the poisoning devotion in every bite and bruise and kiss has Near gasping and writhing, singing out of key like a small wounded animal in the woods, bleeding to death in the middle of the night. 

He plays him until his heartbeat is a loud ticking metronome, until he forgets he’s breathing on his own. He plays with him until all forty seven harp strings of Near’s self restraint snap from the tension. He plays with him until he breaks. 

If he was truly a rational person he would push Mello away. He would stop. He should stop. He needs to stop…

He feebly clutches at the rosary around the older boy’s neck out of instinct and pulls him down closer for another desperate kiss instead. Near quietly reminds himself he wants for nothing.

#i have the grammatical capabilites of a drunk 2nd grader #please dont yell at me about semicolons i dont know what they do i just think they look neat #death note #death note fanfiction #near #near death note #nate river #mihael keehl #mello #mello x near #meronia #death note headcanons #wammys boys #wammys house #matt #matt death note #mail jeevas #L #L lawliet #my writing

[joowee-feftynn]

If you have any, what are your Volleyball and/or Pink hcs?

OOUUUGH 14 year old me would've combusted with an ask like this lmaooo

But either way, I may not remember a lot of them nor really like some anymore but I'll try listing some so here it goes

For Pink:

-In my head she would most likely be capable of having fire powers, both because it sort of makes sense and is slightly hinted to be possible as well as I found it really cool

-She would probably really enjoy food and maybe grow an interest for cooking

-She's scaringly good at climbing

-She's pretty damn athletic, being able to perform impressive stunts and maneuvers like it's nothing, as well as being extremely flexible

-LOVES physical touch. She hugs everything and everyone and loves to be hugged as well. She rarely ever realizes when she's being overly affectionate

-Actually possess behaviors and mannerisms similar to a cat's (this sounds ridiculous but I thought it was super cute and somehow fitting. yes she purrs)

-She developed an aversion to the dark due to her time spent locked in the tower. This could go into the theory that the diamonds essentially starved her since gems are powered by light but I won't get into that here

-She got the Wombo Combo (autism + adhd and developed a special interest in earth things in general)

-She likes having her face touched and caressed :]

-She used to hide things in her hair, and since it was so dense and thick it worked really well

-Really Really REALLY hates being held, because it makes her feel small and vulnerable and that's a no-no for her

-She would looooove naps. she's an eeper and goes snork mimimimimi

-She likes to dance and do silly things for volley to watch. Seeing her laugh made her really happy, and sometimes she even participated in her performances along with the pebbles :D

For Volley:

-When she was first introduced to pink, she used to be a pretty quiet but compliant pearl, always following orders and all that. However, since Pink is a huge enabler (and has no actual idea of how much authority she has over any other gem), she slowly started to develop and show her true personality. She still comes off as nice and quiet, but is actually pretty sassy and quite the jokester too!

-She has a tendency to be passive-aggressive, but she either means it completely or doesn't even realize it. She would stab a bitch if necessary imo

-After joining Little Homeworld, she develops a liking for botany, as well as photography!

-If she ever got the chance, she would have defended pink from the diamonds and even argue with them about how terrible they treat her *stares at this concept art by rebecca sugar*

-Volley isn't as favorable of physical touch like Pink is, but she lets her lay her head on her lap. She likes to rest her head on pink's hair also

-She likes to squeeze pink's cheeks because they're squishy and it makes her giggle (pink does not know how to feel about it)

-She likes being held and carried around by pink. it makes her feel closer to her (emotionally), and she likes being high up there and gets all sassy about it sometimes lol

-She really likes coffee :]

-Sometimes she likes to quietly sit and lean on pink, and of course pink doesn't know how to react to that, so she just lets her be. It's probably some of the most peaceful moments they have together before The Incident

-She is Such a showoff lmao

-She doesn't cry very often, unlike pink, the latter being much more of a crybaby

-And of course she's autistic too

-She used to take pride in being so close to her diamond, which the other pearls found utterly disgusting, but she didn't care because to her, being pink diamond's best friend meant way more than just being her pearl

Aaand we're done I think. didn't expect this to be this long LMAO

Either way, thanks a lot for the ask! I love these two a lot and really wish we got more of them

#joowee's pile of mail

[cursedfortune]

violentemperor the fact that she is touch starved is really the strangest thing about her.

I'm going to actually address this as more of a headcanon post for a few reasons. It's an old but very active still headcanon, and still valid to this day. I don't expect anyone to remember every detail about my muse, fuck knows I forget a lot myself xD But also since I have new moots/followers, I thought it may be helpful. I'm quoting friendo above for the sake of having a clear basis to answer, btw, not out of negativity.

You know how you behave with strangers vs people close to you differs, yeah? Maybe for some people not a lot, maybe for others it is. It's like that. It's still you, just a different flavor of you depending on who it is.

Witches in my lore communicate less verbally and more through touch and energy. They can share a look and it will contain a conversation, because they share energy with one another that carries with it the impression of how they are feeling/what they are thinking to whatever extent they wish to share.

Mortem's natural tongue is touch and speaking without words. She had to adapt to the other races and learn the value of speaking with her tongue since they value it so. Yes, in her canon, fae and elves - as well as specific mage-types can communicate with her in her natural "tongue" but very early on in her canon she is sentenced to exile for being convicted of treason.

By default with people, since I keep all interactions separate unless plotted otherwise, Mortem interacting with anyone will have her in that solitude of exile. Does she go out into cities and other places? Yes. Why? Because her work as a witch requires her to. She was exiled from a neighboring country she called home. Her homeland hasn't exiled her, but she is shunned from being involved in their affairs. You can't really stop a witch unless you put them down, and Mortem is temporarily immortal and can't be. So her homeland tolerates her so long as she just stays away from the politics and keeps to her forest mostly. Which she does. She only leaves her forest when she has to for her work as a witch (aka fulfilling her purpose that is directly related to mortals).

So when it comes to touch and all that, Mortem is deprived of her natural form of communication. She is essentially mute because no one speaks to her and she is shunned, outside of those who don't realize they are speaking to traitor usually. Other witches exist, but because Mortem has witch hunters solely dedicated to killing her she doesn't usually venture near her own people because she doesn't want to risk troubling them with her burdens either.

To circle back to the initial point:

You know how you behave with strangers vs people close to you differs, yeah? Maybe for some people not a lot, maybe for others it is. It's like that. It's still you, just a different flavor of you depending on who it is.

When it comes to her engagement with mortals - yes. Sometimes she has a fling. She doesn't get close to others emotionally, however. In the RPC, it's a little different because it's not strictly me being 100% in her canon. She has three ships at this time that are all long term and mostly slow build ones. She doesn't get close to people because people don't live much more than what feels like a blink of the eye to her. By close I mean, she will value someone and enjoy them but she won't let them know her and make herself vulnerable, by the way. Her relationships, when they randomly pop up (or at the start of rp interactions) will always be friendly and one-sided because Mortem will fully enjoy someone and accept them sharing themselves with her - but she is very... sleight of hand when it comes to how much she shares in return.

How she engages with people casually and by default is very honest, but she omits a large portion of herself because 1) witches just be like that and 2) because of her longevity and isolation.

Being touched by someone who cares about you is different from being touched by someone who is casually friendly with you. And for a witch, those differences are loud and clear. She is a war veteran that was promptly exiled and isolated, she has been hunted by witch hunters the majority of her life and all her tolerance for torture and pain comes from them. Her life is mainly made up of physical hurt and emotional distance. Which is why I've said when her smiles falls, it's her true expression showing. Because Mortem is relatively neutral down to the emotional base. She doesn't lie about how she feels, she'll tell you she's pissed off or upset with a smile on her face because she doesn't feel close to someone. But when she relies on someone, like one of her ships for instance, she'll let that smile that wards off others fall and touch/want to be touched in the ways that she needs it. The way her people communicate to some degree. Those are the individuals that get to see how things really make her feel without the vaguely threatening smile she usually always wears.

Touch may never be what it was once back when she was younger and among her people, but it can be close when she has bonded with someone closely.

You can say she has a pretty face and sex appeal and therefore wants for nothing, that she has a personality that can easily make friends. And you'd be right. Because that's the point. She made herself that way because it was necessary, and what she didn't is just natural to her/her kind. But just because she has it doesn't mean it's utilized and it certainly doesn't mean she lets others touch her often or gets close to others to have their touch matter (<The big point here). Physical touch is important to Mortem and her people. Her isolation has made it so that she is both hesitant to engage in it (because mortal customs differ) and wanting it very much (because it's natural to her kind). She is touch-starved but she keeps it to herself unless someone she feels like she can be vulnerable with comes along. Aka, like the three ships I currently have with her.

Mortem is old, war torn and has been isolation for a very long time by default when it comes to any of her interactions. That's how I write her. In every ship she has, I don't hesitate to write about it either. This blog has documented it well. I'm not expecting everyone to keep up with that, that would be insane. I just hope this helps clarify her usual persona vs when she allows herself to be vulnerable for anyone new or anyone wanting a reminder or something. ^^

If you made it this far I can only give you raw onions and finger guns. But at least the onions are peeled.

#headcanons #got me thinking between work here lmfao thank you xD

[aloev3rathings]

huntlow headcanons and ideas for my fic, Aloe Vera, GO!

1. willow and hunter endlessly hype each other up. like, “hey this is my girlfriend she is awesome have you seen her play flyer derby??? she is so strong and smart and amazing with plant magic my girlfriend is fucking top tier” and “have you seen my boyfriend??? he is so determined in everything he does and is a prodigy and have I mentioned he’s an excellent fighter?? also he’s so fucking sweet and genuine he gives me cavities” they are THAT couple, like they give Luz and Amity a run for their money with how much they talk up their partners.

2. obvs, they work out together. willow is more with strength training and weight lifting, while hunter is more focused on agility and speed. granted they’re both pretty strong, like those people who do push ups with the other sitting on their back and stuff. like I wish I could do that, but I can’t. but these two definitely do that. they are jock couple and no one can change my mind.

3. hunter isn’t a super big fan of PDA bc he flushes so easily. hand holding is very common between them, and is a major source of comfort and stability for them, but when they’re alone or in a place where he’s comfortable and familiar with the people there, he is. so clingy, but not in a bad way. Boy is super touch starved and likes to lean on willow or curl around her while they’re sitting. hunter is like a cat, he just loves being in Willow’s general vicinity. he likes sitting on her lap when they’re cuddling, hunter feels super safe there. likewise, willow absolutely loves it when he picks her up bridal style, and im projecting a little here, but she never thought anyone would want to, and sometimes she likes feeling a little vulnerable and protected but never got it before in like, a romantic context. sure she had amity looking out for her when they were kids, but that was different. so when they’re finally dating and Hunter picks her up and holds her close like she’s the most precious person in the entire isles, she’s got stars in her eyes.

4. who kissed who first? hunter did, surprisingly. i know, right? but no he actually did. they had been dating for about a month, going at a glacial pace bc both of them were too nervous to even start dating in the first place, but one night they’re stargazing at the owl house on the tower, and willow is talking about the stars and various stories she’s heard of them, and hunter is listening to her talk and she’s so pretty when she’s talking about stuff she likes, and he’s been thinking about kissing her all night, but he’s just hyping himself up in his head to do it. but he’s kind of chickening out, but then she turns to him and smiles at him and he just kind of. blanks out. and kisses her. a quick peck. and their faces are on fire and they’re just staring at each other and hunter is about to apologize. willow immediately says, “caleb, that mouth better not do anything except kiss me again.” and well, who is he to argue with her.

5. they both like to cook together. hunter likes to follow instructions for a relatively predictable result, and willow likes to get creative with herbs and spices, so sometimes they end up bickering a bit over recipes and willow becomes very very smug when hunter tastes it and begrudgingly admits that her additions worked in their favor. she likes it when he pouts, she thinks it’s very cute. and he likes it when she looks triumphant at his response.

6. they like to fly over the isles together and camp together. it gives hunter a chance to show off his survival training from when he was in the EC (one of the few positive things he’ll let himself feel pride over), and willow gets a chance to be one with nature and show off some of her own plant and foraging knowledge.

7. when hunter is feeling low and overwhelmed from his emotions, they spend the whole day cuddling. they build a blanket nest, or a fort, and just spend the day cuddling and watching his favorite cartoons on C.B. and snacking. when willow is feeling frustrated and overwhelmed, they spar so she can get that extra jittery energy out. hunter is one of the few she trusts to fight that can hold his own against her so she doesn’t have to worry about him getting roughed up too badly. after, they just sit together in silence while willow decompresses.

8. they send each other memes on their scrolls all the time, even when in the same room. it drives Luz nuts bc hunter refuses to show her the memes, but willow and hunter will gladly show Gus if he asks.

9. in my fic, and likely any I write from this point forward, hunter is trans. so I figure when he finally gets magical top surgery, and bc I find it hilarious, hunter is loopy after surgery and they have that whole moment of “my girlfriend won’t like that you’re touching me like that” “I am your girlfriend” “…” “…” “…ohmytitan, you’re my girlfriend?? i am THE LUCKIEST GUY IN THE WHOLE BOILING ISLES”

#the owl house #huntlow #aloe’s talking to the void #aloe’s writing fanfics again #headcanons

[pietadean]

i've been on a rewatch kick lately so i decided to put on s7 ep7 "the mentalists" as background noise while i was trying the latest tiktok coffee trend. which uses a LOT of sugar. so here's my new take on the ep now that i'm out & proud as well as hopped up on coffee and sugar :

the star victim of the ep, not-psychic melanie, is in love with her "friend" camille who dean & sam don't manage to save. the body language. also she calls her "hon". i meAN

2. the ep is filled with dean mirrors : the guy in the museum stresses how gay some dead psychics were

.... and three seconds later speaks about an over-protective sibling...

...before relaying a message from ellen's spirit urging dean to talk to sam about his grief (it's been a couple of weeks at best since cas's death/betrayal)

3. dean is being extra-empathetic about melanie's loss and you can really see he cares about that particular case. and i guess they filmed it trying to show that dean's interested in her or something equally ew, but he doesn't act like womanizer s1 dean at all, he's more friendly/protective --- except that dean doesn't usually let himself connect with victims. you know what kind of ppl connect instantly even when there's no romantic/sexual agenda???? queer ppl.

^^^^^^that's not a charmer/"dw baby im gonna make it all better" smile. it's a "im so sorry for your loss, i wish i could make it better but i cant and i know what you're going through" smol awkward babygay smile

4. the ep closes with dean having his sam-orchestrated one-on-one with melanie, but it's nothing creepy or sexual. it really reads as two grieving queer ppl trying to support each other

^^^^ look at this awkward chuckle. he knows he's safe here so he's out of his depth. classic dean-being-weird-with-the-gays scene.

and then melanie reads his palm and. he does not react smooth and hot lady's reading my palm at all. he reacts like THIS

hello touch-starved vulnerable babygirl. nice to see ya again pal.

5. the last scene is dean & sam talking about dean's grief and trust issues about cas for the first time since cas's death

^^^^^^um ok i wonder why

HELLO????

anyway that is all. i got down from my coffee-flavored sugar high so im realizing this is a bit much but idgaf. 7x07 is entering my widower dean/destiel hall of fame.

BONUS : i guess at this point when they aired the ratings were starting to get really low, and that must be when sera & co started planning to get cas back on the show, so this feels very much like unintentional foreshadowing :

#in my mind the switch from one night stands drifter dean to pining for his best friend dean happened a bit later on screen but??? #you see it pretty clearly here #in s1 or s2 he would've banged her #when here she's a fully fleshed out character and even if the writers try hard to make her a dean love interest #it just doesnt work #and she becomes a mirror/friendly figure for him #so yeah s7 is definitely one of my faves #spn on my prime video keep watching queue again #spn 7x07 #7x07 the mentalists

[gorgojijijijito]

I've made it my entire personality at this point but with what I'm doing I can't really help it, being an aromantic trying to rewrite a romance is HARD oh my gosh. yes im a self shipper so im no stranger to creating 'romantic' scenarios, but those portrayals of it are only born from my complicated relationship towards platonic and romantic attraction and activity. i literally only do it because im touch starved and have trust issues and confuse that with a need for a romantic relationship. i still do it because it's fun and self-indulgent, but i know that it's going to become a big obstacle when writing scenes that are meant to appeal to alloromantic audiences in Bride of Discord. that being said, im begging you guys to hold me accountable if my input in my ramblings about it are skewed or innacurate. right now im just going off of my background knowledge for general healthy relationships.

With that out of the way, commence the rambling ig.

I think the biggest difference in the acts of love in Bride of Discord as opposed to one of the works it was inspired from, Disney's Beauty and the Beast, is that BOD's are all either transactional, or hammer in the subconscious knowledge that Fluttershy is trapped. I'll go through them one by one explaining my grievances in separate posts bc ive got a LOT to say.

First of all, our first exchange that parallels Beauty and the Beast; the circumstance of how Fluttershy/Belle came to be in the love interest's domain. This one is honestly the least offensive of them that I can think of as of now, but it still has uncomfortable elements. It largely mirrors the circumstance in Beauty and the Beast, however a forced marriage was in mind from the beginning. Fine, whatever, arranged marriage is a popular trope so I don't mind it as much.

I actually like how Fluttershy's view towards it is portrayed; she doesn't see happiness for herself in any path she takes in life, and that hopelessness she feels leads her to face her worst fear in the most head-on way possible. It feels in character for her, considering it's an act of kindness and sacrifice for Equestria, and for the mental state she's portrayed with for the prior episodes, giving up her freedom is, unfortunately, a common last resort people with depression may take in order to feel something at all. I wish the audiodrama leaned more into her mental health issues, it would have fit really well for the tone of the story and provide an interesting turn of character that we don't really look into much with a show as lighthearted and FIM. Maybe it's just me, but i love learning about and exploring stories that illustrate the ways environmental factors, be it your surroundings or peers, can influence the way you perceive yourself, others, and your purpose in life.

But nope. cant do anything interesting like that cuz discord's gotta be creepy and touch her and dote on her all the time. i get it, it can be cute for a shy character to get embarrassed for being praised, but that isn't what's happening in these scenes, as much as the drama wants to convince you it is. Discord is simply taking advantage of her vulnerability to attempt to woo her with no concern for her protests or consent, and it's extremely uncomfortable to watch. He never apologizes for it and never backs off, all it does is literally tire her out. there is no change in how he values her consent from when he returns and when she asks him to keep stroking her mane, she just feels more comfortable with it because she told him about the one time she got stood up. he doesn't respect her as a person with boundaries, he only hesitates because he's flustered that he's lost the intimidation he'd used in order to overpower her in the previous month.

I feel like it would be better if Discord uses the touching and complimenting to make her uncomfortable in the beginning bc, you know, hes a piece of shit before he gets to know her, but then, as he grows to see her as a person with her own right to agency and desires, he stops himself whenever he catches himself. When Fluttershy talks to him about the reason it made her uncomfortable, he directly apologizes for his overbearingness and actually SEES the error of his ways. THEEENnn we can gradually have fluttershy actually ASK to be touched and comforted when their relationship feels mutually transparent, as they feel no more need to feep up a front about their feelings for one-another.

#id be very very surprised if anyone is still reading these tbh #no i didnt proofread cuz these are ramblings so im probably going to have to play grammar police later hdskjfhds #bride of discord #bride of discord rewrite #mlp fim

[dragynfirearc]

@alexis-vaughn , continued .

there is only one way this ends.. in death. that much is certain. the manner of the death and by whose hand is what is left as a mystery. if she could chose a fate to behold, would it be one in his arms? her father swore allegiance to the enemy and aemond, of all people, knew how strong blood is. it is an ever-flowing river that one can drown in. he speaks of destruction, of destroying her, because all she has known is changed. a happily ever after like the ones in fairytales, is not how this tale of theirs would conclude. he is a prince of darkness and violence, not one fit to love. " hmm.. " devotion shines in her words and he wonders how devout she truly is. " if i asked you to cut out your heart and serve it to me, would you do so as well? "

touch at his cheek is leaned into, though a beast lurks beneath, he cannot help but be human at times. he loathed to admit it aloud, but he is starving for gentle touch. his mother always held him in his youth but since becoming a man, she does not share affection in the same way nor as frequently. she says that she is not afraid and he is inclined to believe her. his hands come to rest at her waist, pulling her closer. " my hands are stained with blood, dripping with it, but i promise you that they will never be used against you. i do not wish for you to be afraid, i only wish to cause fear in those who intend to do you harm. your loyalty has held steadfast and i know will continue to do so. " he doesn't even want to ponder what would occur if she did betray him. " your advice has saved my life. how could i ignore it? "

it is a mighty risk to be so intimate with someone, she could tear him apart if she wanted to, and he would be forever changed. " i am not afraid. " as he says this, he doesn't know who he is trying to convince, himself or her. " you are right, i suppose. having you here with me has strengthened my resolve and pushed me to fight harder and faster. " of course, he would have fought this war for his family regardless, but what she says is true. having something of his own to fight for was simply more meaningful. " what about it intrigues you so much? does it not make you feel bare? vulnerable? "

he listens to her promise, finding himself speechless for a moment. no one has ever given so much to him. intense violet gaze travels over her from head to toe as she steps back, looking for any sign of deceit, but there appears to be none. the gods smile down upon him. he steps towards her and places his hands on either side of her face, bringing her lips against his own. the kiss is filled with a passion that would kill ten thousand men if left unchecked. form pulls back from her slightly, eyes lidded with desire. " if you feel no fear, then i shall follow in your footsteps. i will bury my doubts. you inspire me to do better, to be better. "

#alexis-vaughn #interactions: aemond targaryen. #— ♔ * 「 offline . 」 p: queued .

[inthelovingmemory]

Lord Ram,

I understand the feeling of wanting to eat someone because you love them so much... it's intoxicating, instinct really takes the wheel on that leaving us helpless to the consequences.

Thank you for telling me how you've been, I similarly worry about you and hearing about how you've been eases me.

I'm sorry for intruding on such matters with my mundane advice and perhaps unwanted words, you can ignore this if you want, have you discussed boundaries? Does he respect them? Also if you wish to not speak about it, I understand... it almost makes me want to hurt him on your behalf.

Today's offerings are 🎂 and 🍾

I have finally ran out of peaches.

My cat has also tried to eat them.

Praise your name, the earth you walk on, the breathe you take, the words you utter, the objects you touch, and your form that people gaze upon.

I wish you only the best.

-🐈

I typed out a answer to this but tumblr did not post it. That’s sad.

I am happy you understand and I am happy we both care for each other. I pray that you will find happiness.

I appreciate you listening to me. I hear your prayers and enjoy your offerings, and they invigorate me

Your cat sounds alot like our cat, she will eat anything in site.

I appreciate your advice, however I saw your ask too late, the hosts boyfriend came over to give us our laptop back and I was overwhelmed and kissed them. We ended up taking things a bit further. I do not understand what is wrong with me. I feel as though I’ve lost control of myself. Whenever I see them I lose my composure, a lot like how I do with her.

I do not understand what this feeling is however. I do not want to eat them, so I can’t love them, but I still find myself losing control and my composure. My heart speeds up, my body feels warm, they make me feel alive.

I hate it, but I also enjoy it.

Adjusting to this human body has been difficult, I wonder if this is one of the side effects, you humans emotions are so strong, it’s enjoyable but hard to control.

I have been crying all afternoon. I do not understand. I do not understand anything. They said I am lonely and touch starved and it made me cry. They asked the host if they could go out with a guy and do some…things, I am wildly jealous. I don’t understand why. I hate this guy but they’re making me feel all these things I do not understand and that are very conflicting.

I feel very vulnerable. I feel weak. Hopefully tomorrow I will return to my composure.

I appreciate your offerings and your servitude. Everyday you send an ask and an offering it makes my day. Thank you for listening to my ramblings.

#🐈 anon #the whispering

[your-local-writer]

Hoiii!!! I was wondering if you could do the league with a short reader who just joined the league but shigaraki decided to take her in even though she was really shy and would literally cry every time they killed someone and she's like the baby of the league pastel clothes and everything. And is very touch starved so wants to cuddle 24/7 and whines when they aren't cuddling, please and thank you! (Sorry this was long-)

{Platonic} LoV x F!Reader {Warnings}- Female reader, slight spoilers for Season 4 and the Vigilantes Manga(Maybe? Don't think so, but just in case), just fluff I suppose, nothing crazy <3

A/N: This was so cute!!🥺🥺 And trust me, you don’t need to apologize, I loved it!! And I’m back to being active! I won’t leave for almost 2 years again, promise!! -also random note I didn’t know what to do with Spinner, but I tried-

Dabi{Touya Todoroki}:

He was just confused. You look so..out of place? Are you like Toga and a psycho? Or maybe you’re an undercover cop? No, that can’t be right... He mainly ponders on why you would join; surely no one as dumb as you could exist? Surely there’s something wrong with you, but there wasn’t. You were normal? But you wanted to join one of the most dangerous organizations in Japan? Dabi was so confident you were going to leave within days, hell probably even hours

But when you surprisingly stuck around, Dabi kept telling you, “You’re not fit to be in a league like this.” Or “Don’t you think it’s too risky for someone as fragile and vulnerable as you to stay?” He kept nagging you, then it was pumped up a notch once he found out why you randomly cling on to him and sobbed like there was no tomorrow

“You’ve got to be kidding me..” was one of the comments he’d groan out once you clung onto him

He doesn’t show it but empathizes with you a bit. When you cry, there’s always a moment of a soothing aura he’ll give off. Dabi can pull the tough guy act pretty well and has; he isn’t going to baby you. However, he does have a tiny soft spot for you as he does to everyone else he grows close to

He might cuddle if he’s forced to, specifically if you two are alone. But since Dabi doesn’t like to, he thought buying you a stuffed animal would make you stop whining. It didn’t work as much as he wished

Also pesters you to get new clothes; thinks it’s going to get him caught anytime he goes on a mission with you but likes to use you as bait, so 10/10 for that

Overall, he eventually grew a soft spot. It’s not a big one, but enough for him to care. He dealt with you and the other members for a while, so he grew close and came around a bit in the end. He still gets annoyed by your crying, though </3

Toga Himiko:

Himiko loves you. She loves your innocence and thinks you’re the sweetest thing in the world! She’s also more possessive to you than pretty much anyone she has ever met, and she always makes sure you’re safe.

First time you met she may have been overwhelming for you; as she ranted on and on about how well you guys will get along, how you guys are best friends, and so on as she played with your hair, smiling wider than usual.

However, she was disappointed when she learned that you didn’t like the idea of murder- she was stunned when she heard you sobbing out of nowhere. She thought you got hurt and then turned around to see a confused and aggravated Dabi trying to push a sobbing you off and she was honestly pretty jealous...

Himiko loves spending time with you, cuddles, and hugs 100%; she loves nipping at your neck, mostly since you give her a cute pouty and flustered face and make adorable noises! Does try to steal your blood, yet fails and giggles when you make a face at her. So she’s mainly the big spoon <3

There are rare moments when you whine about not getting affection- she’s almost always with you, and you’re almost always with her. Though, when you’re not with her, Toga will give you a call, a text, anything that she can do to check up on you- mainly since she doesn’t want anyone to outshine her when it comes to giving you affection

She also enjoys teasing you a bit with your clothes, would always say you two could wear matching outfits, maybe even switch clothes for a day. She loves dressing you up and picking clothes for you. Loves to surprise you with gifts as well

Overall, she adores you and sees you as her future wife <3

Spinner{Shuichi Iguchi}:

He gets really flustered by you; you were so shy!! Your small wave to him when you had met everyone, you’re so quiet, and your clothes! You made his heart ache so much!

He was honestly jealous of Toga and the others for spending so much time with you; he wasn’t the boldest person in the league, so he didn’t know what to do and would ask people like Magne for advice. She would giggle and encourage his little crush on you

Shuichi always had literally anyone else but him take care of you when you were crying. Thought he’d make things worse, felt really awkward and tried to tell you it was okay while behind whoever was comforting you. It was a weird situation since you cried when someone died..? Even though you’re in a league that kidnapped a teenage boy for their first mission and caused lots of destruction? Still confuses him to be honest

You two never interacted too much since you were always with the others. However, Shuichi tries to enjoy each moment you two have, small and short, most of the time. Though he still likes you.

He had tried to at least spend time with you, like a theater, but ended with Toga coming along. Tried again and then got freaked out by Toga. At least he tried </3

Twice{Jin Bubaigawara}:

Jin had mixed feelings like most of the others. He likes you just as much as Toga does. However, crying did get on his nerves frequently, as well as you not being able to kill someone when the league has to do that specifically, or at least seriously injure someone if needed or was instructed by Shigraki to do so

You two are crying buddies - if he sees you cry, he’ll probably try to tell you to stop kindly, then scream about how you’re being a baby, later crawling over to you and hugging you while you cry together as he argues with himself

Jin usually comforted you when you were whining for attention. He didn’t mind giving you affection. He bought you a plushie just in case you ever missed him, his personal favorite being a tabby cat plush

Of course, he gave you hugs, making sure you were happy, and loved going out with you to get some clothing, very supportive with any outfit. Even if you ever felt self-conscious, he would always undo it by acting like your personal cheerleader

Honestly loves you just as much as Toga, and sees you as an amazing person. Appreciated that he was lucky to have you and the others in his life

Magne{Kenji Hikiishi}:

Magne acted like a parental figure towards you. She was one of the first people you got along with; she always tried to get you to be a bit more social so you could get along with everyone.

If you cried, she’d try her best to comfort you. Anytime you were having trouble, she’d give you the best advice she could give to you. If you cry because you saw someone’s death, she will try to use her quirk to get you away from the situation. If you need help, she will help; it was just how your mother-daughter relationship was.

Not to mention she loved giving you hugs after coming back from a mission. If she were even a bit injured, you’d look a bit worried while you pretty much lectured her for getting in such a dangerous situation. She loved giving you head pats and would get gifts with Toga and Twice before coming back to a hideout you were at

Definitely enjoyed getting new clothes for you, and thought your fashion sense is a nice contrast to the others and appreciated how it matched you so well!

You always think about the good times and appreciate them. You do miss her, even still

Mr.Compress{Atsuhiro Sako}:

He likes you, thinks you’re fun. He doesn’t talk to you often since he is busy but sees you as good use to the league. Like Dabi, thinks you are a perfect distraction for the police, but is a lot more careful to make sure you don't get arrested yourself. And was one of first who accepted you as Magne had done

He would mainly chuckle when you would want cuddles but knew someone like Toga would want to hug and snuggle up with you. So he didn’t cuddle much with you often, still doesn’t too much

Would always try to do a trick to make you feel better when you cried, even covering your eyes and even trying to distract you when you would be near someone getting killed

You always laughed and enjoyed his small performances here and there. Talk about your life before the league, joke around, and help everywhere. You two weren’t the closest but liked each other. But since times have changed, you guys are closer than ever. Enjoys your company overall and cares about you deeply just as he does everyone

Kurogiri:

He doesn’t mind you. You’re not entirely within Shigaraki or One for All’s goal. But he protects you like the rest of the league, just with some more care. He appreciates when you offer help with almost anything. He finds you kind and caring and likes to talk to you. You always crack a smile that causes him to be happy, doesn’t entirely show it, but it does

He doesn’t usually talk to you much but knows you quite well thanks to his observant and your [almost always] predictable personality. He’s able to deal with you since you and Shigaraki get along quite well

There’s always a warm, slight feeling in his chest when you check up on him to see how he’s doing and just treat him as human. No one asks, and everyone is always busy. He appreciates the small things you’d do, trying to get him to ease up from all the hard work he always did

However, he always advised Shigaraki not to send you on missions - just so no complaining from Dabi and fighting each other. It can get a bit tiring

Though you’re pretty nice but didn’t pay too much attention to you since he had to focus on Shigaraki the most

Shigaraki Tomura{Tenko Shimura}:

He enjoys your company; you’re not a psycho, burnt corpse, and... I’m pretty sure you get the point. He doesn’t have issues, minus your whining and clinginess. It’s relatively rare for you to make him lash out or threaten you

And if someone asks why he let you join or doesn’t do anything because of your whole crying or toddler personality. He will either get relatively defensive and ask why you shouldn’t be in the league or stay completely quiet and probably walk away from the situation without an answer. Trust me. This happened more than once; Dabi can confirm

Sometimes, he’ll tell Kurogiri to tolerate you when you cry, or Shigaraki will warn you to shut up. Much like Dabi, he’s the type to show you tough love. Complains to Kurogiri about how nice you are and how the cute pastel clothing fits your dumb and whiney personality,

He enjoys your company. You somehow help him think outside the box. He also likes it when you “babysit” much like Kurogiri; you’ll try and make him food, sometimes you even make his room look decent even if it only lasts for a short amount of time. He honestly feels a strange nervous feeling when you are around and when you show him affection in your way

You point out that he shouldn’t scratch his neck constantly to the point it starts to bleed, you make him food when he’s upset and try to comfort him if Dabi comments about Shigaraki’s looks, i.e., the marks on his face you’d pout at Dabi and usually force him to apologize

He can go on to how many times you would randomly hug him or pat his head and tell him that everything will be okay when he is about to throw a tantrum or just pissed in general. You’ll be stupidly kind and, if possible, make him ramen and give your all to keep him company

He thinks you’re helpful but doesn’t protect you since he thinks Toga and Twice already do a pretty good job giving you the affection and the protection that you need.

Honestly has a love-hate relationship with you, He likes that you babysit him and follow his orders but gets aggravated when you cry and whine over someone being killed, one of his pet peeves of you, but he still likes you

#dabi x y/n #dabi headcanons #dabi x reader #dabi x female reader #touya x reader #touya todoroki x reader #toga himiko x reader #toga x reader #himiko x reader #toga himiko headcanons #toga x y/n #spinner x reader #shuichi iguchi x reader #twice x reader #jin bubaigawara x reader #magne x reader #mr compress x reader #sako atsuhiro x reader #atsuhiro sako x reader #kurogiri x reader #shimura x reader #tenko x reader #tenko shimura x reader #shigaraki x reader #tomura x reader #tomura shigaraki x reader #lov x reader #league of villians x reader #bnha x reader #mha x reader

[paimon-rambles]

Hi! Can I request hcs of Albedo Aether Childe and Kaeya reacting to reader loving hugs and/or cuddles but being too shy to ask for it? Gender neutral. Thank you!

Shy hugs

Characters; Albedo, Aether, Childe, Kaeya

I'm a sucker for cuddles.

-

Albedo

Albedo doesn't notice it at first. He first assumed that you weren't a very physical person when it comes to affection and he was okay with that. His own need for physical affection wasn't that high either

but it doesn't take long to notice that you had some shy tendencies and he saw the shift in your behavior almost immediately whenever you were looking for a hug but you were too shy to ask for one

The way you hesitate in your words or how you seem like you want to ask him something but your shyness was holding you back

He flat out asks you if something was bothering you, he even presented all the evidence, so nope you can't run from this. You must tell him of the cuddles you wish to have. You sheepishly admit that you really like hugs and cuddling but your shyness prevented you from being able to voice it

" I see, an interesting concept you've rbought to me. Please feel free to explain more"

Albedo is curious by your answer and would probably even take notes on your shyness. It's for research he claims but he's really just intrigued with every aspect of his partner, including their shyness. His uses these little notes to pinpoint whenever his partner wants something but there too shy to voice it

But he lets you know that you don't have to be nervous asking him. Even if he wasn't too high in physical affection, he would still gladly give you a hug

Going forward, he starts to look out for the little signs that you're craving a hug. And once he notices those tiny signals, he gets up from his desk putting aside his research documents, and pulls you into a hug. It's an unspoken thing but something that means a lot to you and Albedo won't lie, he may start to crave your hugs as well

Aether

He's a little shy too, poor baby gets flustered at the easiest of things

Aether really likes cuddles as well, and at some points, he initiates it himself because he's a little touch-starved and craves your touch

But he's also a little worried because he thought you didn't like cuddles that much. Now imagine his surprise when he learns that you actually love cuddles

Though he's probably oblivious to your shyness, he just thinks that you're not that much of a touchy person. And he respects your boundaries. He doesn't bring it up either, Aether doesn't want to come off as rude. 

How he found out was all thanks to Paimon. Similar to Albedo, Paimon starts to notice the little things you do when you're craving a hug from Aether. Paimon has also noticed Aether's little shyness when it comes to it as well. Along with his obliviousness- And she points it out to him causally the next day 

Aether kinda just goes "oh" and blinks

He tries to boost your confidence, reminding you that you can hug him whenever you like. He's not going to judge you! He really likes to cuddle too

" I promise I won't judge you, I really like hugs too y/n, dont hesitate to ask-!"

Aether finds your shyness to be adorable! After finding out that you like hugs, he started to give you a lot throughout the day. A morning hug before he leaves for a commission hug. Hey, I just picked some berries, wanna hug?

Cuddles and hugs become one of his favorites quickly

Childe

Pls, he probably won't even notice because he likes to cuddle with you all the time whenever he gets the chance. This also benefits you cause you're still getting cuddles

But somehow he still figures out, and man- he is a tease about it AND he is really sweet. In a very teasing voice, he would reassure you that you don't have to be shy about asking. Little words of encouragement slowly break you away from your shyness. But Childe always finds it really adorable too- He'll gladly indulge you with a hug, after all, he likes cuddling too. It's a win 

" Ojou-chan, don't be shy~!"

But he'll never admit that your love for cuddles is a blessing for him. He could literally embrace you for hours if granted the opportunity. But he also just likes to be held by you. It is rare to see him vulnerable and he would only have complete trust in you to allow you to see in him such a state. In those moments he just wants a hug :(

He also takes note of little signals that hint you want a hug from him. And when he sees those hints he has a sly playful smirk

" Y/n do you want a hug from me~?" Due to your shyness, you get flustered whenever he calls. you out on it but he still gives you that hug in the end so you can't really argue. 

Kaeya

He is a jerk about it

Teasingly like Childe but worse

You ended up telling your boyfriend how much you adore and love cuddling after you failed to muster up the courage to ask for some. 

Comments about your shyness all the time whenever you try to tell him that you want a hug. 

" You must really like my hugs, don't be shy y/n, I don't bite"

Kaeya just likes to see you flustered

But Kaeya also cares deeply about his lover, after some teasing comments and pools of blushes he'll give you the hug you want. He'll never actually make fun of you or make you seem weak/inferior because of your shyness 

He adores it a lot and finds himself smiling whenever you shyly ask for some cuddles. He finds it cute!

Whenever he doesn't see you for long periods of time, except that the first thing he does when his eye lands on you is to pull you into a hug. " Did you miss me y/n?" He asks as he snuggles closer to you

Yes, he can be an ass about it, but in reality, he's sweet and will give you the cuddles you deserve.

#genshin impact #genshin impact imagines #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact headcanons #Albedo x reader #genshin Albedo #genshin albedo x reader #aether x reader #genshin aether #genshin aether x reader #childe x reader #genshin childe #genshin childe x reader #Kaeya x reader #genshin Kaeya #genshin Kaeya x reader

[msmarvelwrites]

Faking It

Summary: “There’s no need for that here. No faking it, sunshine.”

Pairing: Natasha x Virgin!reader

Warnings: Explicit sexual content, explicit language, please 18+ only, f x f, oral (f receiving- they’re gay, dude), oral/rimming (f receiving), anal, reader always fakes it until Natasha.

Word Count: 1.3K

Authors Note: A request for the lovely @sazc94 🖤 And a huge thank you to the wonderful and uber-talented @the-iceni-bitch for her beta ✨

It was a normal weekday morning. You had gotten up early to run labs with Bruce, squeezed in a quick training session with Steve and now you sat exhausted at the kitchen island while your friends dipped in and out for their breakfast.

“I’m not sure what happened. She just snuck out in the morning and I haven’t heard from her since.” Steve was mumbling to Sam about this date gone awry and you couldn’t help but listen in. Mentally giving your own advice where it wasn’t needed.

“Y/n says you probably failed to make her finish.” Wanda pointed out before it was too late to realize she had read your mind.

You gaped, dumbfounded, wishing the world would just open up and swallow you whole. Glaring at Wanda, you silently apologized to Steve, trying your best to make it sound sincere… But, you weren't exactly speaking out of experience here. Not that you and Steve ever - but men like Steve.

“What does that even mean, ‘make her finish.’?” Steve grumbled, pouring his morning coffee and storming off with Sam and Wanda. Though, not before Natasha twirled into the kitchen, catching Steve’s remarks and giggling to herself.

“The sheer fact he doesn't know means she didn't.” Natasha sighed, a crooked smile pulling at the corner of her mouth.

“It’s really too bad, I liked her.” You added, causing Nat to crack up, the sound of her laughter and the fact you had caused it making you blush.

“I guess she was really good at faking it too.” you added, and Nat quieted down- a seriousness taking over her delicate features.

She looked you over, bringing a coffee mug to her lips before she spoke, “When was the last time you truly came? No theatrics.” She asked, the question slapping you across the face and leaving a blush behind in its wake.

“I-I don’t really… Sorry I just-”

“Have you never slept with a woman?”

You worried on your lip, half embarrassed and half stunned at the way Natasha’s eyes were boring into yours. Her tongue gently flicking out to wet her lips, gaze trailing down your body as if she was sizing you up. Checking her opponent for weaknesses. Of course, you had many. The most obvious currently, your inability to respond to her question.

“No.” You finally squeezed out, unaware you had been holding your breath until now.

“Well, there’s your problem, sunshine.” she hummed, suddenly so much closer that you remembered her being. Her breath, hot against your neck.

“You think you can help me?” the words left your lips before you had a chance to stop them. A false confidence coating each syllable. You had no idea what you were doing, terrified of the situation you were about to drag yourself into.

“Oh, sunshine,” She whispered against your ear. “I’ll take such good care of you.” The promise rippled through you, sending a shiver to travel down your spine and pool in your core.

Before you knew it your back was pressed against her bedroom door, having never stopped for a breath as you both ran to the living quarters. Your mind was foggy, thoughts convoluted and nonsensical as she bit down on your lip. Her tongue darting out and sending chills through your entire body. It was so different, softer than you had ever known it to be. There was no rush, no demand. Somehow it made it so much sexier.

Natasha pushed you inside her room, her shirt discarded the moment the door closed. She stood, wrapped in a lace bralette as she pointed to the couch behind you.

“Take your pants off.” It wasn't a question but you still nodded your head, immediately fumbling with your zipper. Finally you flicked them across the floor, terrified and eager as you watched her eyes trail up your exposed legs.

The ethereal redhead glided across the room, resting both her hands on your shoulders as she pushed you down onto the couch. In the same motion, Nat dropped to her knees.

You gasped, heart beating so wildly out of your chest, you wondered if she could hear it. If she did, she made no indication of slowing down as she hooked her hands under your knees, pulling you and your wet core towards her.

Natasha looked up at you from under her lashes, her eyes sparking with more mischief than usual. You tried to steady your breathing, afraid if you kept up the way you were, you might pass out.

“Are you nervous?” You mused, her lips connecting with the soft skin between your thighs.

Yes. Maybe. “No.” You forced out, cursing yourself for lying. She saw right through it. She always could.

“Shhh,” She hummed, her fingers playing with the hem of your shirt as she lifted it over your head. You complied, lost in her touch. “There’s no need for that here. No faking it, sunshine.”

Her words went straight to your core, squirming against the couch in a desperate attempt to feel some sort of relief. Nat noticed, a soft chuckle slipping from her pink lips. “There’s no rush. I have nowhere to be. This meal,” She gestured, index finger pulling the gusset of your panties to the side, exposing your glistening folds “I’m savouring every last drop.”

Your panties were discarded somewhere across the room, leaving you bared for Nat’s hungry eyes. You were paralyzed with fear and excitement. Heart hammering in your chest, nerves shot.

Carefully, and with a curious touch, she spread her fingers through your sloppy folds, gently spreading you open. You convulsed, the simple touch enough to have your touch starved body melting away.

“Oh, sunshine,” She chuckled, repeating the same motion with her fingers, “We haven't even started yet.”

“Fuck.” It was all you could muster, eyes trained on her lips as she disappeared between your thighs.

The moment Natasha's hot tongue connected with your throbbing clit, you knew she had ruined all men for you. All people for that matter.

“Look at you, котенок. Is this all for me?” She hummed between lapping at your cunt. Her index finger travelled through your puffy lips, pushing deep inside of you and forcing a groan to fall from your lips.

“Natasha, please.” You begged, though you weren’t sure what for. It wasn't possible that you were already so close to your-

Her mouth connected with your clit again, fingers withdrawing from your core only for a moment as he folded you in half, body splayed out and vulnerable to her. You gripped inside of your knees, holding on for dear life. Your vision, already going blurry as she hit that sweet spot relentlessly, almost as if she could feel what you did.

“You’re gonna’ love this sunshine. Hold on for me.” She mumbled, tongue dragging away from your core and swirling around your tight ring of muscles. You gasped, body rigid and cunt throbbing as she lapped at your ass, loosening you with her touch. Her fingers playing with your aching bud, edging you closer and closer.

“That’s it, sunshine. Let go, you're almost...” she teased just as her index finger pushed into your ass, the blissful burn tipping you over the edge. “There.” Just like that, you melted away. The coil in your belly exploding, body convulsing as she fucked into your ass, mouth drinking up every drop of your orgasm.

You stayed like that, halfway between alive and too blissed out to make sense of how many times Natasha had pulled an orgasm from your core. Minutes, maybe hours passed until you were both a sweaty mess of come and ecstasy on the kitchen floor.

Natasha was the first to make a sound, a tired chuckled fumbling from her swollen lips, “Damn, sunshine.”

“That was so-”

“Real.” She breathed, your gaze meeting her as she smiled warmly.

“Yeah,” You beamed, eyes tired as you nuzzled against her side, “That was real.”

And just like that, you knew you would never have to go through life faking it ever again.

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff smut #natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff #natasha x you #natasha x y/n #natasha romanoff oneshot #natasha smut

[spencersmagic]

a knife twists at the thought - SR

Prompt: a knife twists at the thought that i should fall short of the mark - Arctic Monkeys

Summary: Spencer is new to this, and the poor boy is terrified

Couple: Fem! Reader x Spencer Reid (i picture season 2/3 Spencer but y’all do you)

Category: angst

Word count: 3086 words

Warnings: general criminal minds stuff, mentions and descriptions of torture, descriptions of loss, HAPPY ENDING!!, my 3am writing, tooth rotting love, uhmm spoilers for Orwell’s 1984 (if anybody hasn’t read it), humiliation, Spencer crying and breaking my heart (lmk if you need anything warned or trigger tagged).

A/N This is very loosely based on 2x15 (VERY LOOSELY). I’m quite proud of this one :)

masterlist // 505 series taglist

*****

They say you never see it coming.

When a tragedy occurs, and someone’s life is turned upside down forever, they never see it coming. It just... hits them. Like an oncoming car ramming into a bystander who was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

No one has time to prepare. In our time-starved lives, there is no place for such a warning.

One day, you just wake up. And they’re not next to you. They’ve disappeared, leaving the stickiest, most unforgettable parts of themselves behind for others to grieve to: the smell of their shampoo in the pillows they used to share, the seconds just as you wake when you still feel like you have them - only to gain full consciousness and realise they left you behind - even the fucking jars, which never seem to be open because he’s just not there to do it.

And you feel your heart breaking all over again as your soul sticks to the parts that couldn’t be erased with the rest of him as he left. Because you needed him, you had him, and now he’s gone. No warning, no letter, no signs which could’ve helped you foresee such a tragedy, because how could he? He didn’t disappear on purpose.

She doesn’t understand why he's so absent. So unequivocally missing. And the person she would turn to to ask these riddled questions isn’t there to answer. Because he’s gone.

But they’re not there yet.

And she feels so close to that feeling - the helplessness, the pain, the empty cups next to her bed because he always carried them to the sink when she was finished with her tea the mornings of those rare days they got to sleep in. Those days when they had time. She can practically touch, with the tip of her fingertips, the waves of pain that would surge over her if he was gone for one more fucking minute.

She has to remind herself, over and over again, like a mantra. He’s not gone yet.

The “yet” at the end of her mantra just breaks her all over again.

She was always the one to tell Spencer “if you worry before something happens, in case it goes wrong, and then it does, you’ve managed to suffer twice through something painful for absolutely no reason”. It usually worked. Needless to say, she felt like a hypocrite right about now.

Because Spencer is gone. And she doesn’t know how to bring him back.

She knows only to watch the monitor, never once blinking, taking in everything that happened in that damned livestream - every word, every sound, every reference. She can only try to hear anything over the whimpers and sobs her love was letting out as he’s tortured by that man. She can only hear the cracks of his knuckles against Spencers soft skin, the same soft skin she had kissed mere hours ago before telling him to “be careful”. Her own way of saying the three little words the couple was too young to hear. She can only see his lips parting, sobs rumbling out of his body as the unsub abuses his frame over and over again - same lips which had kissed her forehead before telling her “i always am”.

Then again, she isn’t sure if its his voice which is filling her head with painful sounds or if her mind is playing tricks on her, memorising the horrifying vibrations coming from his chest for her to ever consider anything else. She hasn’t stopped hearing him since she turned on that damned computer.

She isn’t sure she’ll ever stop hearing it.

**

As a man of great intellect, Spencer always recurred to knowledge to understand difficult occurrences in his life. Burying himself in textbooks, novels, poems, and even music to understand pain, and himself having a life filled with it, he was an incredibly knowledgeable man.

He knew much. But right now, he only knew one thing.

In Orwells’ 1984, as Winston was being tortured (much like Spencer is right now), Orwell described the following:

“Never, for any reason on earth, could you wish for an increase of pain. Of pain you could only wish one thing: that it should stop. Nothing in the world was so bad as physical pain. In the face of pain there are no heroes, no heroes”.

And, as a man who had acquired most of his intellect by immersing himself in trivial content in the face of pain, he found himself doing the same thing as the unsub hurt him over and over again, each blow seemingly more painful than the last. As his skin bruised, a causality of his abusers torment, he analysed the seemingly logical quote.

It must depend on the person, he was sure. In fact, a number of factors must be taken into consideration at this statement. For starters, Winston lives in a society incapable of any human feelings. There is only dominance, and those who attempt, in vain, to challenge it. Surely, if he had felt happiness, like the one you feel when the first day of spring rolls around, or like the one that creeps up on you as you look into the eyes of your loved one, surely, he would understand that some things can outweigh pain.

Love.

If Spencer’s mind could make sense of what he was feeling right now, he would understand, something he would figure of were he to leave this damned place, that he was thankful to the Gods, were there any, for having the unsub kidnap him and not Y/N.

Winston hadn’t understood emotional pain because emotions weren’t dealt with regularly. They were discouraged. That’s why he believed that there are no heroes in the face of pain. Because he doesn’t understand emotional pain.

He knew he was suffering. He also knew that Y/N was at the other side of the blinking camera suffering more than he could ever imagine.

**

They say emotional pain lasts 12 minutes. Anything one feels after this would be the aftermath of the cause of the pain in question. Pure emotional pain, the one you practically feel in your chest, the one that says “i can’t think, feel or be. not until this feeling dissipates”.

She had learned this from Spencer.

And she wished it were true. As she watched that damned monitor, she wished that all the venom the unsub was spewing at Spencer, all the verbal abuse, was long forgotten. She wished he could only feel the physical pain. Because the mind is incredibly stronger than the body - it could keep him awake, alive, for just enough time for the team to rescue him.

The entire team had huddled around the monitor around her. She was painfully aware that other people were seeing this. Which meant it wasn’t her imagination. It wasn’t another one of those damned dreams she would have when she slept a little too far away from Spencer’s touch.

They had only been together for two months, but his touch was all that could get her to fall asleep.

She jolted as the unsub landed another slap on Spencer’s cheek, swiftly grabbing his hair for him to look into the camera. He had a cut above his right cheek, just where she would kiss him in the mornings, and bruises all over his neck, jaw and left eye.

“Say hi to your team!” he mocked Spencer, chuckling darkly as he moved his almost lifeless body around for the team to watch in horror. Spencer let out a heartbreaking sob, feeling so vulnerable.

“Why don’t we make this interesting?” he jumped, as if he had gotten an idea. The unsub reached behind himself to grab a pistol, clicking off the magazine safety to put one bullet in one of the eight slots, leaving the other seven free. He pointed it at Spencer’s temple.

Her entire body shook the thought of seeing Spencer’s lifeless body, held up only by the ropes and that sick man’s grip around his curls. The same curls she grabbed as she kissed his face when she wanted his attention.

“I’m going to ask you some questions...” he said, voice dripping with sickening sweetness as he turned the roulette, “and if i don’t like your answer i’ll pull the trigger! Let God decide what I do with you. Sounds good?”. He wanted to humiliate Spencer.

However, Spencer made the mistake of not answering him. He was quickly reminded as the barrel of the gun pointed right between his eyes, pulling the trigger, a loud bang! sound expanding through the barn.

“I asked you a question!” he suddenly yelled into Spencer’s face.

“Y-yes, Sir” he whimpered, shaking at the ease at which the man pulled the trigger.

“Good, you’re learning”.

**

She experienced it by bits. Hotch’s hoarse voice. “Talk to me Garcia”. “We’ve got coordinates”. Everybody rushing to the SUVs. Tripping over her own feet on the way to the car. Morgan’s voice. The iPad, which still carried Spencer’s whimpers and the man mocking tone.

“I’ve got your diary, Spence” his sing-song voice didn’t match the disgusting man she was looking at. Nothing made sense.

“And I wanna know why...” he drew out the ‘y’ as he looked for something between the worn pages between his hands.

Of course she knew Spencer owned a diary. But she was mature enough to keep her hands to herself and her eyes on her own pages as he wrote on his, eyebrows creasing as he recalled all which he had experienced during the day. His face would twitch slightly at the memories, both good and bad, as he basically described his day word by word.

“...why did you wait until you were 24 to lose your virginity?” he asked in a clear attempt to humiliate and ridicule Spencer in front of his team.

“I-I didn't-” he could barely finish a word before a sob wrecking through his body at the humiliation, chest rumbling and voice wavering. “I didn’t want to lose it before, i w-wasn’t in a hurry” he rushed out. The man brought the pistol to his own chin, tapping it as he thought. “Hmm... I’m satisfied with your answer. Let’s dig deeper, shall we?” he asked as he went back into the pages.

“ooh! This one is new” that sick bastard was having fun with this, completely unaware that the team was less than 5 minutes away from their location.

“Care to read what you wrote three days ago? Right here” he turned the pages so Spencer could read them, though he was painfully aware of that entry he was talking about. His body shook violently. “P-please. D-don’t ma-make me do t-this” he whimpered, body feeling defeated.

“Wrong answer” the unsub said before pointing a gun at him and pulling the trigger.

A shriek was heard from the iPad. The SUV went silent.

“He’s alive” she whispered, unable to speak up. “He-” she swallowed. “He’s alive. We’re not there, yet” her mantra became a reminder that she hadn’t been quick enough to help him. She had the tools to save him. Every second she had the knowledge to save him and didn’t was another second she remained impotent at the risk of losing the love of her life.

Spencer’s voice spoke from the iPad.

“C-can you at-at leas-st turn off t-the ca-amera?” he said between sobs.

And it hit her.

What hurt him the most wasn’t the memories he had to relieve, but the fact that the rest of the team would have to hear his most intimate thoughts. His deepest secrets.

He could bare the pain. The humiliation? That broke him.

“Aww” the unsub chuckled mockingly, “are you embarrassed?” he said, slouching down to look into his eyes. “Well too fucking bad!” he screamed into his face, spitting with every word he spewed at him. Spencer’s sobs got louder.

“O-okay okay!” Spencer caved, accepting the journal that got shoved into his face.

“Read, pretty boy” the unsub sang. That son of a bitch was having fun.

“We’re two minutes away, Y/N” Hotch said. Maybe it was he sobs, which were barely audible to herself, having accepted them as second nature after all the heartbreak she was experiencing, but Hotch needed her to be okay.

His own heart thumped into his chest, feeling as helpless as he’d ever felt. Seeing a member of his team - someone he was supposed to take care of, someone he was supposed to keep safe - was sobbing as he was physically and emotionally tortured. But he was painfully aware of the feelings Y/N was experiencing. The sheer fear that was running down her veins at the idea of them running out of time.

After a few sobs, Spencer started reading, interrupting himself occasionally with his whimpers:

“It’s been three months. Today, three months, seven hours and forty-six minutes ago, she did what I didn’t have the courage to do. She asked me out. “I’ve been wanting to ask you pretty much since the day i met you” she had said. Those words keep ringing in my head like a beautifully written symphony, intrinsically designed to make me face my deepest fears. Opening my scars one by one, dissecting them and reaching the simple conclusion that i was a coward.

She didn’t say it, but what she meant was “i’ve been waiting for you to do it, but you never did, so i had to”. We wasted time - a time so precious and sacred - because i was a coward.

I’ve never felt like this before. I never understood a love so deep as to move something so stubborn as the human spirit. I’ve read textbook after textbook, and novel after novel, and still I’ve never learned more than with her. But I was a coward. And i wasted her time. I fear that I still am.

A knife twists at the thought that i should fall short of the mark. It’s impossible for me to ever be enough for her”.

Her heart broke at this confession. Even worse at the thought that he wouldn’t’ve told her, instead inhaling fear and exhaling rejection at every breath he took next to her.

“We’re here” she heard Hotch, looking at her. She grabbed a bottle of water and dropped the iPad, not hearing the teams objections at the lack of vest and preparation and ran into the barn.

She isn’t sure if she’ll ever stop hearing his whimpers. As she runs closer, she hears them louder and louder, decorated with sobs and cries, and small, meaningless replies to his abusers’ mocking words.

She kicked the door down, the loud bang booming across the room, only helping in raising Spencer’s sobs as he feared the sound had been the result of a certain trigger being pulled. As she looks at him, she realises just how much pain he’s been put through.

She remembers Orwells words, much like how Spencer had remembered them mere hours ago. And disagrees, wishing over and over, praying to the Gods that she would be the victim of such atrocious abuse. She wished she could take his pain. Morgan joined her at her side mere seconds later, yelling. “FBI! Put the gun down!”.

Spencer used the last bit of energy to lunge forward, hitting the unsubs stomach with his head, successfully getting him on the floor for Morgan to apprehend. Y/N rushed to Spencer’s side, untying him, as his now nonexistent sobs grew louder and louder, not only at the prospect of getting out of that horrible place alive, but also at the knowledge that Y/N had heard what he had so dreadfully recited.

Spencer collapsed into her arms, crying into her in the same way she was crying into him, and she wondered just how to take away all his pain. So they cried into each other, desperately grasping each others hair, skin, clothes, anything that would make them feel like they wouldn’t have to spend another damned second without the company of each other.

Spencer was the first to break the silence.

“I need-” he stopped, coughing. She reached for the bottle of water she had brought with her because she knew he would need it. She always knew what he needed.

He chugged it desperately, stray drops falling down his chin at his eagerness. He took a deep breath trying to steady his lungs.

“I need to get out of here” he choked out.

She grabbed him under the shoulders, careful not to hurt him - not being successful, realising that there wasn’t much of him the man hadn’t hurt. Y/N pulled him out, sitting down on the grass with him. Their legs intertwined, pulling each other impossibly closer. They kissed, over and over again. Not as an act of any sexual relevance, but as a reminder that they had each other in any way, shape or form. That they weren’t out of time.

The team was certain they would stay there, never letting each other go for another minute.

After what felt like seconds in their time-starved little world, she broke the silence, which had only been filled with their own cries and occasional sobs.

“Spence” she grabbed his chin to look into his eyes. They were dull, red and hooded. He was exhausted. “Mhmm?” he let out, looking into hers. She was his solace.

“How could you ever think you were anything but completely and unequivocally enough?” she whispered the words he dreaded.

But as Spencer looked into her eyes he knew, better than he had ever known anything, that he was enough. And she was enough. He realised that which she had known for the past three months (possibly longer). They fit like two marvellous puzzle pieces.

Her hands grabbed his cheeks slowly, as to not hurt or startle him, pulling his forehead into hers. “Baby, I can’t imagine anybody else waking up to me every morning. You’re so much more than enough”, she planted a small kiss on his forehead before resuming her position. “I’ll remind you every day of the rest of my life if that’s what it takes for you to believe it”.

And with their eyes closed, foreheads and noses pressed together and legs tangled between each other, pulling each other close, closer - around grass and voices and his abuser pressed into the hood of a police car, they only felt each other. With their shaky breaths, even shakier voices, fearing any words that would leave them in case they triggered a cascade of tears down their oh so vulnerable cheeks, they were more than enough.

***

I hope y’all liked it!! Feel free to let me know by liking, reblogging, or sending me a message :) 

super cool kid taglist: @lady-anon-x​ @spencerreid-mgg​​ @eoupe​ @inlovewithbabygirl​ @galaxydefenderjulia​ @username2002​

#reid fluff #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fluff #criminal minds x reader #sub!spencer reid #sub! reid #spencer reid angst #derek morgan #aaron hotchner #hotch #emily prentiss #emily prentiss was a fucking lesbian #imagines #fic #reid #imagine #mgg #matthew gray gubler #penelope garcia #submit requests please #angst #fluff #505 themed series #505 #matthew #gray #gubler #reid x y/n #spencer x y/n