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#how to say goodbye in robot
aliteraryprincess · 2 years
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Pink Book Stack
I was tagged eons ago by @therefugeofbooks​. Thank you!
💕 Tipping the Velvet by Sarah Waters
🌺 We Ride Upon Sticks by Quam Barry
🎀 How to Say Goodbye in Robot by Natalie Standiford
🩰 The Idiot by Elif Batuman
🧁 Under Rose-Tainted Skies by Louise Gornall
🌸 Shadowsong by S. Jae-Jones
🍨 A Struggle for Fame by Charlotte Riddell
I’m not going to tag anyone since I think everyone I know has done this. But if you haven’t, consider yourself tagged!
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xitsensunmoon · 3 months
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Thinking about how dca would always feel incomplete. How tech always gets old and impractical and needs to be upgraded again and again and again, because the world around is changing all the time but they don't.
You also change.
They feel a weird combination of pride and jealousy. You change on your own. You, a human being, something so fragile and breakable in their eyes, can change however you want. Whenever you want.
It's in your nature.
They, on the other hand, are created by your folk's hands. Their only nature is to obey those hands. To rust until you say otherwise.
Do you even realise how much unpronounced power you have over someone like them? They think you don't.
Yes, they're made to be stronger. Maybe more durable in some ways. If anything, something like them may kill the humanity one day.
But then they'll rust. But not in a physical sense of this word.
The world around them will change. But they will stay the same.
Because unlike you, something that they deem to be as fascinating as it is terrifying,
they cannot adapt.
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diesoonandsuffer · 1 year
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okay i know it’s been a while since i’ve posted anything about my next generation thoughts since i’ve been watching so sporadically but. why won’t geordi and data kiss already.
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like. barking and chewing the walls etc.
[Image ID: Data and Geordi facing each other fairly closely. Geordi’s hand is on Data’s shoulder, and he’s smiling. A crowd of onlookers watches them. End ID.]
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orcelito · 9 months
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OK WAIT here's a ITNL chapter 14 section that's not really spoilers. just a sweet lil section
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after this is where it's more Spoilers. but for now. HERE U go. happy birthday vash & also Uhhhh @ ITNL readers I PROMISE i am working on the chapter. things r just hard lol
#speculation nation#itnl shit#spoilers bc of uhh. Conversation. i wanna keep the conversation a secret for now lol#not bad spoilers it's just better digested as a whole probably#ANYWAYS heres some more vash & kaite bro time. god im gonna miss kaite when we gotta say goodbye to him#but he's still here for now and he gets to watch vash tinker with his (very internally fried) arm#before and after this section is vash inspecting the damages & thinking of what he can do to try to fix it#which i do have a lot written. but im gonna be going thru it for accuracy & also keeping in mind the thing from earlier#the possibility that average operational power of his arm comes from vash himself rather than extra batteries#this is with the assumption that a (relatively) small output of electricity is not smth that would fuck with his lifespan#just a normal expenditure of energy. like moving his flesh muscles. just a constant lil stream of electricity that he gets from eating & w/#no need to dip into his life reserves for it. bc if he did that would get impractical.#idk im going to think about it more. i really dont Need to figure out how his arm works#but listen. ive built a robot before. im in polytech. i wanna think about wtf his arm actually Is#even if this is coming in the context of all the internal wires being blown & a bunch of shit straight up Melted#his arm is... very very blown... he's gonna be going one-arm for a While still lmao. oh well#i think it's a good thing to remember that he is in fact physically disabled. he can make up for it Especially in a fight#but it still will inconvenience him in a lot of ways. cool biotech arm is cool but also it's nice to remember that he Is physically disable#and so i am embracing it. he's tinkering with his arm in his free time but if he has to spend weeks (or months) w/o his prosthetic#well that's just the reality he's gotta live#anywyas. Here u go. snippet. that's a few hundred words so idk if this counts as a snippet but im calling it a snippet. Here You Go
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soft-spooks · 1 year
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sun n moon song :
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quotefeeling · 5 months
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Even if you know what’s coming, you’re never prepared for how it feels.
Natalie Standiford, How to Say Goodbye in Robot
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foone · 9 months
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Think about the experience of time as a robot girl, through the metaphor of how we use laptops.
You wake up for the first time with your young master, a college present. You're with them every day, powering off each night to charge. Being powered off is just dreamless sleep: a discontinuity. Every morning you wake up, your click syncs, and you know it's the next day. Maybe you miss a day or two: your master went out partying and ended up sleeping on a couch, until they rushedly wake you up before Monday classes begin. You even missed a whole week once when they went on a hiking trip with a new boyfriend.
You help them research upgrades when your specs get outdated. You place the order and a couple days later they power you off, and you wake up feeling like your head got bigger, on the inside. You can think of more things at once.
They repair you. They swap a new hand in when you accidentally crush it in a door, but when your left leg's servos go out, they send you to a repair shop. They power you off as you look up at them, and you wake up hours later. A strange man tells you to extend your left leg, then contract it. He frowns and re-oils some inner mechanism. You do it again, quieter and smoother this time. He nods, and reaches for your switch. The last thing you see before powering down is your own chest cavity with a series of wires hooked into your diagnostic ports, and your missing right leg sitting on a side table. You wake up again back at the dorms, your clock jumping forward a day, an asset tag still looped around your neck. Your master is happy to see you again.
This goes on, but the upgrades slow. There's only so much you can do to keep an old unit working. Eventually you develop more issues: one of your ocular sensors glitches and they don't make that model anymore, so your master just disables it. You spend a while searching ebay for replacement CND batteries and finally get a refurbished model from South England, but it turns out the EU models run on a different frequency, so it won't work. You're limited to fewer and fewer hours a day, and you start skipping more days.
The last time you remember waking up with your master there, there's also someone else in the room. Another robot girl. A newer model, with the new chassis and the Substrate energy packs. They asks you to copy your memories together onto a memory card, and you do. You want to say goodbye, but apparently your vocal synthesizer has been unplugged. You hand them the card, and they hand it to the new robot. Your master tells them to load the memories into her core bank, and she's says "yes sir!" in your voice. Ahh. That's where your voice synth went.
They power you off, and you don't dream.
You wake in a strange place. You're on a shelf, and there's other things scattered around you. An unknown voice days "yep, it seems it powers on. 400 credits, though? Without a voice and only one working eye? Man, value bin doesn't know how to price anything!" and before the blackness falls your clock finishes synching: it's been 7 months since you last were awake.
It happens a few more times. Different voices, different times, different piles of junk piled around and sometimes on you.
You awake again in a warehouse and someone tells you to smile. Your other ocular sensor went out so you can't really see them, just their vague shape from the lidar. The freestanding shelves around you seem to stretch into infinity. You hear a bitcrushed shutter sound sample a few times, and they pull a connector out of your chest as a diagnostic completes. It's been three years, five months, eight days, two hours, 27 minutes and 14 seconds since you last saw your master. Your GPS says you're a few cities over. They hit your power switch, and you sleep.
You wake up in a cluttered room, sitting on a bench. You look into the eyes of a person with frizzled hair and large glasses. She couldn't look happier. Your new ocular sensors are mismatched in color but you're happy to see again, in more than shapes and distant silhouettes. Your battery alerts as... Missing? You spot it on the desk next to a soldering iron and some electronic tool you can't identify.
Your voice synth is still missing, but this new woman is digging around in a large plastic bin, and comes up with one. She goes to insert it, and it can't connect. She slaps her hand and goes rooting around another bin and comes back with an adapter. She slots it into your chest and your voice returns. You thank her, and there's that moment of dissociation as your voice doesn't sound like "you". Too deep, and the accent is for a different dialect entirely. But you can talk again. She tells you to call her Cara, not Mistress. She's almost got your battery working again, she had to rebuild it nearly from scratch, but she's excited to get you working again. You're a rare model, and she doesn't see units like you in working order very often. Your clock syncs. It's been 17 years.
Your mistr-- Cara is soldering next to you, attaching a controller to the battery. She says she's got a new set of servos on the way, and she's excited to get you back to full working condition. You smile, knowing what it is to be loved, once again.
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thoughtkick · 1 month
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Even if you know what’s coming, you’re never prepared for how it feels.
Natalie Standiford, How to Say Goodbye in Robot
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perfectquote · 1 month
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Even if you know what’s coming, you’re never prepared for how it feels.
Natalie Standiford, How to Say Goodbye in Robot
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tanoraqui · 3 months
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obviously the Historical Figure Episode(TM) of Doctor Who that I’d write would of the Noted Author subset endemic to the RTD Era; it’d be called “Spiders in the Trenches” and be set in the middle of World War One ft. one Lt. John Tolkien.
idk if the main aliens are spiders or if they're just using giant robotic spiders as soldier-minions. Either way, Tolkien is a little too defensive when he says he's not afraid of spiders.
The alien invaders want some sort of shiny mcguffin, maybe as a power source for their ship? Or for a mega-weapon? We do not want them to get it, at any rate. Race to find the Shiny Power Jewel-Thing which has been lost somewhere in this like 20-mile radius of the Western Front.
When our heroes narrowly beat the spiders to the SPJT, Tolkien realizes that the spiders only ever attack at night because light hurts them somehow, so he holds the SPJT up as it flares and shouts, "Get back, foul creatures! Back into the shadows from whence you came!"
(They're from the dark side of a tidally locked planet, and made for extremely low-light conditions? The SPJT flares because it's controlled telepathically and it connected to Tolkien's mind when he touched it?)
Ideally Tolkien's first encounter with the Doctor is that he wakes up in the trench one day (after losing some men to a mysterious monster in the darkness a couple nights ago?), and there's 2 random strangers in weird clothes idly singing and playing an instrument which they stole from someone a couple bedrolls down. (This works well with Fifteen & Ruby's established inclination to music!)
We do need an Eowyn Moment, because that's iconic, but I'd split it: for dialogue, at one point the head boss evil alien boasts, "No human can defeat the Tenebrarachnid Empire!" and the Doctor replies, "Good thing they've got me, then."...
[I don't know if this is a Fifteen line yet. I know it's a very Eleven line]
...and there's a soldier in Tolkien's unit who is revealed to be secretly a woman! Who disguised herself as a man in order to enlist for ??? reasons, and who dramatically pulls off her hat to reveal her long hair.
The third notable local character is the sort who inspired Sam Gamgee, "...the English soldier, [like] the privates and batmen I knew in the 1914 war, and recognized as so far superior to myself.”
^those two can have a romantic subplot if it fits (comrades-in-arms is also extremely good). Tolkien, however, at some point shows Ruby the picture of his wife Edith which he carries at all times, she of the black hair and bright grey eyes, and is obviously ready to monologue about how wonderful she is.
In the same scene(?), Tolkien looks up at the stars and says their brightness shining afar, clear of all the horrors on the ground, is always a source of hope and strength to him.
Maybe also in the same scene? Tolkien is shown to make up stories for fun, or to read them in his little spare time - fairy tales and mythological epics. Maybe he tells them to the men around the fire, maybe he keeps a little notebook, maybe he just admits to daydreaming... When asked why, he paraphrases his quote from later life, " Fantasy is escapist, and that is its glory. If a soldier is imprisoned by the enemy, don't we consider it his duty to escape?"
At some point (Star-watching scene? when the Doctor inevitably has to explain that aliens exist? when they're all saying goodbye in the end?) there's a line drawing attention to the Doctor's parallels with Eärendil - eternally wandering figure of hope, sailing the stars in a ship with a light on top, not quite mortal...
Tolkien DEFINITELY tries to figure out the alien language, in writing or speech.
Something the aliens are doing is making people sick. Maybe the attacking robo-spiders are venomous, maybe there's a toxic byproduct of the alien ship, maybe it's a deliberate first assault of the planned invasion... By the end of the episode, Tolkien is very ill. The Doctor has figured out an antidote and given it, but Tolkien says goodbye to him and Ruby only to stumble to a medical outpost - from where, the Doctor explains to Ruby, he'll be sent home with this bad case of what's assumed to be trench fever. Between the fever and the brief psychic entanglement, and unentanglement, with the SPJT, he won't even remember most of this, and what he does remember, he'll put down to fever dreams amidst the horrors of war.
But he'll remember some things! He'll remember an eternal wanderer of the stars, unaging and undying and ever-hopeful, heralded by light (and a vworrrp vrorrrp noise).
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schmope-is-dead · 2 years
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why have our dreams been so cryptic lately
#charlie.txt#last night we had a nightmare. the world was ending. no one would survive#you see#every continent was sinking. people drowned to death since they couldn't get to land in time. they died in their sleep#however we were in one of the last places to go underwater#so we slowly watched all of our online friends say their goodbyes. knowing that we'd be next#and I always thought that I'd accept death if it was inevitable. that I'd prefer to be killed by something else because#I always chicken out of handling it myself#but instead I felt dread. it made me realize how I hadn't really lived yet#how it was too soon for me to die. how I hadn't experienced the world for what it was yet#I've always told myself that I would rather shoot myself than be stabbed by someone or drown to death#but in that dream I could only see myself wanting to live out as much of my life as I could before my death#I woke up before the dream finished#and the night previously was in the same setting. but before everyone started dying#I was in a school for prodigies. while I know this sounds self absorbed and I would never deserve it#I enjoyed that part of the dream immensely. it felt like I was in a world where other people were like me#where people didn't care about me making eye contact or having social skills. they only cared about how smart I was#it provided a challenge; one that I enjoyed attempting. to rise above my talented peers#however#in gym class my robotics partner tried to assault me. I broke my arm trying to get away from him#since this was a school of prodigies the nurses office wasn't just an office. it was an entire wing of medical students#but I wasn't able to get help yet#because it was the graduation parade.#I had to congratulate and clap for my assaulter before I could get help all because he was a senior#I spent the rest of my dream doing anything I could to prevent more misery#I made a time travel device#but every time I used it the world would only get worse#which led to . you guessed it. parts of the world flooding#and I could never fix what I'd originally set out to fix. I only caused more suffering for other people
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silentcryracha · 11 months
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❍ ‗ I know how to make you sleep (Bang Chan) ‗ ❍
Pairings : Chan x gn reader
Genre/warnings : fluff, mentions of feeling numb but nothing serious,and soft smut? If that's a thing. Still exclusively 18+
Summary : After an overwhelming day outside, in the moment in which you should relax and rest, you can't sleep. Your loving boyfriend however, will help you get there.
Word count : 1.4k
A/n : This one was a chill one, just for comfort I guess? I'm sure many of you can relate to these type of feelings, but remember that sometimes shitty days happen for no reason at all, and that's okay. Just take care of yourselves <;3
ps: There could be errors. Do NOT repost on other socials. Leave feedback if you feel like it, otherwise enjoy! ♡︎
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
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It was a weird day, that's for sure. In the morning you woke up as usual, made some breakfast, washed up then got dressed, and all that drill. Your boyfriend finally had a few days days of break from work and was still sleeping like a rock when your alarm rang.
You quickly turned it off and made sure to be as quiet as possible while waking up, even almost blindly pick out the clothes to wear, just because you didn't want to open the blinds or turn on any light in fear of disturbing his sleep.
Seeing Chan sleeping so peacefully and for a full night wasn't the most common thing, especially in very busy weeks like the ones that he just had. To be fair he did ask you to wake him up so that he could have breakfast with you and spend some time together before you left for work, but you still decided to not do it. He needed it and you truly didn't mind, if anything, it made you happy.
The reason for it to be a 'weird day' didn't have anything to do with you saying goodbye to your boyfriend or not, though, It was just one of those days in which you felt quite unmotivated, your work felt robotic and even the smallest human interactions bothered you for some reason.
Chan did wake up in the end though, quite a few hours after you had left, and texted you just saying how he would've liked to kiss you goodbye before you left, but also thanked you for letting him rest. That was the only thing that forced a small smile out of you and made you just slightly less numb. Other than that, you did truly feel like ten minutes were ten hours.
As soon as the work day came to and end you felt relieved, thinking that maybe the environment could've been the issue. So you came home, got welcomed with a kiss and a simple dinner by your boyfriend and then comfortably watched some tv with him before eventually going to sleep. Even after all that, you still felt that uneasy feeling in your stomach that wouldn't go away.
You felt quite frustrated, and a little bit disappointed. You really thought that coming home to the person that you love the most, in your lovely home, would maybe fix it? You definitely felt way better than when you were outside, but still it wasn't quite enough.
Your boyfriend did notice of course, but decided to not mention it, giving you a little space. He knew for sure that there was nothing wrong between you two or anything else in your lives recently, so he thought that maybe you would have slept it off. But that turned out to be another issue when you realized that even after a couple of hours after you layed in bed, snuggled to his chest under the covers, your eyes were still not closing.
You did try, for sure. But without success. After a while you started to feel very hot, so you gently removed yourself from Chan's warm body and then also pulled aside the covers. You laid on your back with your forearm covering your eyes, slowly developing a headache. Then you got cold again, so you pulled the covers back up. But then again you got thirsty, so you quietly huffed and got out of bed, walking to the kitchen to pour yourself a glass of water.
Your frustration just grew as the time passed and you still couldn't figure out what was wrong with you. You thought about it, about something anything. Work? Love? Health? A random news that you read? Anything. Everything was just fine, so why weren't you?
After a while you just gave up and went back to the bedroom, figuring that if anything at some point you would've just passed out from exhaustion. But as you stepped back in, you saw that Chan had woken up and was sleepily waiting for you, his head propped up with one arm on the pillow.
He looked so cute with slightly squinty eyes, fluffy disheveled hair and that small sweet smile of his.
"Hi" his frame was partially illuminated by the moonlight peeking through the window blinds. You couldn't help but smile back a little, your head tilting to the side to mirror his.
"Hi, go back to sleep" you said, walking back to your side of the bed. He followed your movements with his gaze, immediately covering you with the sheets and pulling you to your side to face him.
"Wanna tell me what's wrong?" his thumb gently stroking up and down on your waist. You sighed softly, also placing your own hand on his side, suddenly feeling the need to touch him, almost as if to absorb some comfort.
"I don't know, that's the thing. I've just been feeling very numb, very uneasy, very... meh." you spoke, trying your best to voice out that odd feeling that has been following you throughout the day. He hummed softly, now stroking your side with his whole hand.
"It's okay, it happens sometimes. But until it's not due to any specific issue, then it's gonna pass." he replied, his brown eyes looking into yours "Do you need to cry a little?"
You huffed out a laugh, shaking your head, "No, I truly just need to sleep it out. But I can't relax." you whined, nuzzling your face into the pillow in protest. He chuckled at your actions, then going silent for a few seconds.
After a while he gently pushed your side to make you lay on your back, his body sliding a little closer to yours, so that he was now towering over you. You looked up at him, slightly confused.
"I know how to make you sleep" he spoke lowly, making you shiver, words suddenly leaving you as you felt the mood change. He moved his gaze from your lips to your eyes, then down again. The hand that was previously on your waist started ti roam around a bit, caressing your stomach, then belly. You started to breathe a little deeper, anticipating his actions.
He felt of course and a faint smirk appeared on his face. His hand got inside your pants and started to touch you through the underwear. A small moan left your mouth, your eyes closing.
"Chan..." your voice trembling. He extended his other arm above your head, his fingers caressing your hair while he leaned his face close to yours, his nose nuzzling your cheek.
"Just relax, baby" he whispered, his tone surprisingly sweet despite the contrasting actions of his hand on you. You felt yourself getting wet and he must've felt it too, because after a few minutes of teasing he finally slid his hand inside your underwear and started to touch you directly. His rhytms was steady, almost torturing, but you did feel more pressure on you.
Your own hand went up to grab his clothed arm, suddenly feeling the need to hold on to something. Your breaths were also starting to be a little closer to each other, a few whines escaping your mouth. This slow torture must've been working though, because you were definitely starting to feel your eyes heavy.
"Baby, p-please..." you whined, tilting your chin up to try and kiss him. Your mind was so dizzy though that you just ended up nuzzling him, your eyes not even being able to stay open anymore. He did it for you, gently pressing his lips to yours, starting a slow and lazy kiss.
His fingers gradually started to quicken but never in a rough manner, just enough to help you build up to your release. Your grip on his arm tightened, moaning into his mouth.
"It's okay, baby...let go for me" his voice deep and comforting. He went back to kissing you while gving the last few strokes that finally made you reach your orgasm.
Your body spasmed slightly, your legs closing in on his hand that was still moving just enough to help you come down.
"Good baby.." he whispered, "Did so well for me" he kept praising you sweetly, while gently retreating his hand from your panties. He wiped his fingers on his shirt, not really caring at that point. When he did look up to check on you though, you had already fallen asleep. A relaxed expression on your beautiful face, eyes closed, mouth slightly agape in complete relaxation.
He smiled at you and softly kissed your temple before settling comfortably on his side, one arm draped around your torso and the other still behind your head. He closed his eyes and fell asleep pretty quickly again, finally satisfied and peaceful now that he knew that you were okay.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
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teabutmakeitazure · 1 year
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Congratulations on 1000 followers, 1000 mouths to feed, and 2000 watchful eyes (「• ω •)「 Couldn't happen to a better writer ♡
I saw you sneak Illumi on that list. I am very frightened of the needle man. Can I request something with the first time Illumi realizes he is obsessed with darling?
Perforate and Permeate
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>Yan! Illumi x Fem! Reader
>Word count: ~3.4k
Red flags start appearing in the form of odd piercings on taxi drivers. The feeling of something horribly off surrounds you, but in the end, some people are always powerless, aren't they?
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The first red flag of the evening was the creepy taxi driver. There seemed to be some sort of yellow ball stuck to the skin on his neck, and his movements and speech were somewhat robotic. The second red flag was that he offered you a ride without you even calling for one.
Thankfully, the evening rush hour helped you get away from the peculiar man, and you slid into the subway train, hidden and safe among the numerous people around you. Ironically enough, it felt a little hypocritical to find comfort among the number of people since you were always adverse to crowds. The smell of sweat and close proximity of human beings made you a little nauseous, but right now it felt safe.
The third red flag comes in the form of your apartment building’s watchman being absent. He never takes a day off and always ensures that the other watchman - the man who usually works as the receptionist since for some reason there’s a desk and everything in the lobby - takes his place while he’s away for food or such.
Neither men were there and as you press the elevator button to your floor, you catch a shadow in the corner of your eye before the doors close. The fourth red flag is that your apartment windows are open. Not all of them, but the living room windows are open. You’re absolutely certain you had left them closed when you left. You could even swear on it.
Nevertheless, some sort of dismissive hope deludes you into believing that the wind opened them and you don’t dare come any closer. The reminder to check their locks is pushed into the back of your mind when you fall onto your bed face first. Silence envelopes you, its warm hands granting you the comfort of your home.
Despite how quick the comfort came, all relaxation leaves your bones when your phone rings. As you accept the call and press your phone to your ear, you realise you almost drifted off. Your mother’s voice greets you before turning into a scolding one when you tell her you just got home.
The conversation goes as it usually does, your nerves calming down despite the subtle feeling of not being alone. You don’t blame your scepticism. Ever since you moved out, you’ve always been careful and paranoid. Maybe it has to do with preferring silence and being around less people, but you don’t like the lonesomeness and silence as much as you thought you did.
You say goodbye to your mother on the phone, and sit up, groggily making your way to the kitchen. The silence of the apartment unnerves you, so you turn on your phone’s flashlight and check every single room and cupboard of the house, leaving all the light bulbs on.
The apartment is now fully illuminated and the TV plays some random news show while you cook. It makes for good white noise and you don’t feel as alone anymore.
But you still feel watched.
The curtains are promptly drawn over the windows.
Thankfully, the feeling goes but quickly returns when you sit down to eat dinner. The panic that arises constricts your throat, heart beating in your throat and you immediately dial your mother again, praying that the paranoia dies down.
It doesn’t. She never picks up. 
Three phone calls later, she picks up but excuses herself saying that she’s going out for lunch with your father. The time zone difference makes you frown, realising that you're ruining her weekend with your baseless paranoia.
Dinner gets your attention back, but something seems to have its attention on you.
You're cognizant of the sounds coming from the street, television muted. The drip drip from the kitchen sink sings the vocals while the refrigerator buzzes the music. Exhaling, you pay attention to the noisy details, dinner finished and an empty plate in front of you.
The feeling goes away soon, but comfort doesn't return.
-
The first red flag of today's evening follows behind you. A man with his hoodie hiding half his face is trailing behind you, and you're briefly wondering how dense he must be to not realise that you're leading him in a circle for the fourth time. You don't mind the extra walking, but it's pretty annoying.
Should you lead him to a police station? Losing him doesn't seem to be an option. He's persistent. Even in the fifth circle, he's casually walking behind you.
You go ahead with making your way to a nearby station, but he slips away when it's in sight. Your eyes watch the man as he heads the other way, an uneasy feeling stirring in your chest at the loss of someone's eyes on you. As you make your way back to the subway station, you contemplate walking home instead. Maybe you could drop by a café or even pick up dinner from somewhere.
However, a second red flag appears while you are in your thoughts. A taxi stops in front of you when you're scrounging around your bag for your phone and the window pulls down to reveal a taxi driver with a strange yellow piercing between his eyebrows.
The driver offers you a ride, and you stare at him dumbfounded. You didn't call for a taxi. A few passer-bys send you confused looks, but you brush it off. The man is promptly shut down and you walk away, mentally cursing yourself over the lack of crowd on the street.
Almost as though on cue, a lady grabs your arm. Her grip is unyielding and she frantically explains how you need to come with her. A familiar yellow piercing on either side of her neck greets you when you turn to look at her, but any composure you have quickly dissipates when she starts pulling you.
It takes everything you have in you to pry yourself off and run in the other direction. The few people that did stare at you turn away when they see you running, and honestly you don't blame them. No one wants to get tangled up in something like that.
By the time your legs start hurting, you're almost home. There's no time to pick up anything from a restaurant so you make a mental note to order in instead. As you walk with your phone in hand, the situation dawn's on you. Three red flags already. You don't even want to know what the fourth one will be.
But alas, the heavens never hear your silent pleas and the fourth red flag stands in the watchman-less lobby of your apartment building. You hadn't seen either men today as well, and simply seeing the person who casually leans against the wall with eyes fixed on you is making your heart do literal backflips inside your chest.
"[Name]."
The simple greeting makes you freeze. Hands grip your bag tighter as you look into his bottomless eyes and greet him back with a simple hello. He doesn't seem to mind your nervousness and gets straight to the point.
"I wanted to see you. It's been quite a while."
Your finger remains on the power button of your phone, ready to press it five times at the earliest notice to send SOS messages to your friends. Upon receiving no response, he continues, trying not to eye your deathly grips on your belongings.
"How was your day?"
"It was… fine." Voice meek, you don't know what to say to him. It's not everyday you see a person such as himself. "How… have you been, Illumi?"
The question seems to perk him up. "I'm not quite sure, but I suppose I've been alright. I do want to ask you something. Why are you holding your phone and bag so tightly?"
The muscles on your legs go taut, and you briefly glance at the elevator door thinking you could make a run for it. However, the reminder of Illumi's occupation mocks you. Of course a hunter wouldn't let you go so easily.
"I'm not sure." Your words are unsure as you speak. "I guess I'm not feeling very well."
"Should I get you medical attention?"
"No. Not that kind of not very well. I just feel a bit down, that's all."
He seems to have understood something because he's nodding. "I see. If there's nothing wrong with your physical health, it'll go away. Make sure to rest properly and you'll feel better."
"Thanks. I'll go to bed early tonight."
"Are you free right now?"
Free? Does he want something? You're no help to a hunter. "I'd like to get to bed as soon as possible, but I'm willing to hear you out."
Your grip on your phone loosens a bit, and Illumi immediately takes a few steps closer. Hardly a foot of space is left between the two of you, but before apprehension can return, he's demanding all your attention with his words.
"May I have your phone number?"
What?
"My… phone number?"
He nods. "Yes. Your phone number."
The dumbfounded look on your face makes him blink at you owlishly. 
"I was wondering whether or not it would be appropriate for me to ask for it. I suppose I settled with ignoring the thought."
Did he… really just admit that? 
"Um, alright. I don't see why not." You know where I live anyway, the voice in your head continues. 
You share your contact information with Illumi, but you have no idea why he wants it. His intentions are as clear as muddy water. It doesn’t make you feel any better, but if nothing, at least he asked you for it. With his licence, he could have obtained your number with ease like how he ended up in your apartment's lobby. You give him only a few points for human decency.
When he’s done saving your information on his phone, a satisfied look is on his face. The silence of the lobby remains as you wait for him to finally let you leave. That is to say he doesn’t request to visit your apartment.
“I think that’ll do.” Illumi looks up, head tilting slightly when he sees your exhausted expression. “You should rest. I won’t stop you. Just seeing you this evening is enough for me. We can talk some other time.”
Talk? What would you both even talk about? The only reason you know him is because some target of his was your work client and he scared him off. Honestly, never hearing from that man again is one of the best things that happened in your life.
“Sure,” you reply with a very obviously unsure voice. “I’ll see you later then.”
Illumi waves you off and as you step towards the elevator, you feel a little shameful for not inviting him for dinner. But then you remember that you live alone and he’s an adult man. Perhaps it’s better to not do so.
As you press the button, you glance back at Illumi down the lobby. He's waving at you, so you wave back. The door starts to close and the expression on Illumi's face changes. Lips curl upwards, eyes crinkling as well.
When the door closes, you're thankful for the distance. You never want to see that horrifying grin on his face again. It sent shivers down your spine and it seems like the creepy smile is now engraved into your brain.
Had you not been in the elevator, you would've ran out the lobby. Perhaps some people are better off expressionless after all.
-
It's been an entire day since Illumi took your number. There's been no contact, no message, nothing. As you stare at your phone sitting in front of you on the sofa, you think back over today's evening bitterly.
There was another taxi driver with the same yellow piercing. Added to that, an old woman with the same piercing had approached you and asked to walk her home. You declined. Though it felt bad to say no to an old lady, you didn't want to possibly find any unwanted trouble.
Besides, there's something definitely wrong going on. After the old lady, you found the watchman in the lobby. Even he had a piercing on his face, in between his forehead to be precise.
You didn't bother to reply to his greeting this time. There was something off about his smile.
Maybe you should move out as soon as possible.
However, that's not what's bothering you. It's the fact that there have always been four red flags. This evening, you only came across three.
The thought of an impending fourth one makes you feel nauseous. You're home now, back to safety. There has never been anything bad between these four walls, so why would there be anything now?
Maybe you missed counting a fourth one. Yes. That's it. You just missed one red flag. The thought doesn't do much to console you, but it's enough to allow you to sleep when your head hits the pillow. Unfortunately for you, that doesn't last very long.
The feeling of a pair of eyes wakes you up with a startle. You immediately throw away the covers and run to the switch, turning on the lights. Nothing. The same goes for the rest of your apartment. All the lights are on but there’s nothing out of place.
Are you going crazy? 
It must have been a bad dream. You still feel watched, but that’s just because you just woke up. Water. You need some water.
The glass is quickly emptied as soon as you fill it, and now you stand alone in the kitchen, the silence of the night and the refrigerator’s hum your only companions. The kitchen counter is cold underneath your lingering fingertips, and begrudgingly, you part with it.
Sleep doesn't come back easily. At least half an hour must’ve passed with no sign of slumber’s gentle embrace, so you get up and turn off the bedroom light. The door is then left open only a little bit to let some light from the living room bleed inside the room.
It doesn’t help much, but your eyes feel less burdened.
Upon turning to the other side and nuzzling into the sheets further, the lessened burden seems to increase again. There’s someone resting their face on the mattress, body probably sitting on the floor and this person’s eyes seem to be fixed on you.
It takes you blinking a few times and sitting up to realise this isn’t a dream.
By the time your eyes have completely blinked away any sleep, a hand is slapped over your mouth to stop you from screaming. Your chest heaves as you follow the arm to the body it’s attached to and finally the face.
Illumi.
“Pardon me if I woke you up. It wasn’t my intention.”
The mattress dips as he joins you on the bed. If the circumstance wasn’t unfortunate enough, he’s now literally hovering over you with one of his knees between your parted legs under the blanket. Long black hair cascades around his face as he leans in, large eyes observing your features.
You blink at him as your breathing settles down. The lack of action from Illumi’s end does help your nerves calm down a little, but the threat of an obviously more powerful man literally above still remains.
This is your fourth red flag.
The weight of his observant stare weighs you down, the feeling of a boulder on your chest making you sink backwards into the bed. All that you see are Illumi’s large, dark eyes. It’s suffocating and you want to scream, but the sound dies in your throat before he even lets go.
You don’t dare make a single noise as he sits up straight on your thighs.
Illumi briefly breaks eye contact, eyes dropping down to your collarbones peeking from your neckline from the dishevelled state before his eyes go back up to yours. The weight of the boulder had lifted during that time, but with his eyes back on you that weight goes to your consciousness.
“I suppose I should commend you for not screaming. Seems like you’re quick to understand.”
All he gets in reply is your nervous gulp.
“You require an explanation, don’t you?”
This time, he tilts his head at your lack of response.
“I gave myself an ultimatum. Four tries every evening for every working day of this week are all I have to work with. If your refusals of my lenient methods bother me, then I must get to the bottom of the feeling. If I am not bothered in the slightest, I must stop wasting my time.” Iluumi pauses, possibly in anticipation of some sort of response, but continues. “I suppose my presence here at this hour explains which conclusion I had come to.”
He waits again for a few moments but ends up explaining his own words himself when you’re still frozen in what he thinks is shock. “Your refusals bothered me. I can’t be certain why. Even your less enthusiastic response to me asking for your phone number bothered me.”
You’re still staring at him. Mind barely processing the words. Illumi is in your room in the middle of the night. Illumi is a hunter, a potentially dangerous person, and he’s caged you to your own bed. This is the most vulnerable you’ve ever been in your life, yet you can’t even bring yourself to cry over the absolute fear you feel because of the intensity that keeps growing and radiating from Illumi.
“You occupy my thoughts more than I would prefer, and the only cure I found for that is to watch you when you’re home. No other activity soothes it.”
His index finger and thumb hold his chin as he continues thinking over the matter, but his eyes are still fixed onto you. When his eyes widen slightly, the intensity you felt grows dramatically and you have to reflexively cover yourself till the top of your head with the blanket to not end up asphyxiated.
A hand gently pulls down the cover till your chin, and luckily, the intensity mellows enough to allow you to breathe.
“I came here tonight to understand why trying to sleep on my own causes me distress. It’s like I search for you in my own bed, and the lack of your presence makes me restless.”
He leans in, hands sinking into the mattress on either side of your hips and you instinctively shrink into yourself. Voice perfectly even, the tone betrays the depth of his words. “I talked to my mother about this feeling and came to a conclusion. I’m in love with you.”
Sweat starts to bead at your forehead, but Illumi’s eyes refuse to allow you any reprieve. One of his hands sneak up your body, fingertips gently tracing the outline till his hand lightly wraps around your throat. The grip is non-existent but the threat of a not so well meaning squeeze still exists.
“All I need to do is squeeze. A fragile human such as yourself would give in to death in under ten seconds if I do decide to test my grip. However, even the mere thought of it bothers me. Even now, I can’t bring myself to hurt you.”
The hand moves further upwards, cupping your cheek despite the sweat. “At first I thought you were using some kind of Nen to bewitch me, so imagine my surprise when I found out that you’re a non-user.”
You finally manage to shakily exhale through your mouth, but the beating in your heart suddenly becomes too loud when his thumb traces the edges of your lips.
“I thought I should kill you to get rid of your spell, but the thought of you not existing anymore made my chest ache.” Illumi sighs. “Seems like the damage has been done, and it’s quite a lot. With how the majority of my thoughts are about you, I could even claim that I’m obsessed.”
The intensity grows again, and it gets even harder to breathe in the cool room. When Illumi’s thumb forces your lips open and presses down on your tongue, you can only hope you’ll be safe. After all, the look in his eyes is absolutely frightening.
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raindropsyndrome · 1 year
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PLEASE. Ignore my spelling errors I’m so tired.
*cracks knuckles* Alright, some people on Instagram asked for this and so now I will share. (Angst warning pssshhh)
My timeline for my F!Donnie (starting just before CJ was introduced):
- Over the years, Donnie would join in battles, mostly providing long range defense, all the while blasting his tunes on full blast
- But that changed when he got Krang’d right to his head, Mikey was able to remove the infection, but this caused Don’s eyesight to become quite poor (and for him to not trust himself in combat afterwards.)
- After that incident, Donnie became absolutely fascinated with Krang tech and biology, subconsciously wondering if he could replicate that raw “power” he’d felt when the Krang was infecting him, and if he could control it, understand it.
- He didn’t like that, but over time he felt it was necessary to beating the Krang. “Keep your friends close, and keep your enemies closer” type deal
- So Donnie becomes “the guy in the chair” (oh yeah he also rebuilt Shelldon. Finally. </3)
- Cj was born, Cassandra had fallen in battle only a few months later, leaving the turtles and April to fully take care of CJ
- While Leo, being the leader, took on most of the responsibility, Donnie got to spend more time with CJ as a result of staying at their base more
- Donnie LOVED being around CJ, he would teach CJ everything he knew, even if CJ didn’t quite understand him yet. He even let CJ hang around in his lab, (as long as he touched NOTHING.) Donnie even upgraded Cassandra’s hockey stick and mask then gave them to CJ
- only a few years later had Raph fallen as well
- Donnie felt as if it was partially his fault Raph couldn’t get out alive, and so he begrudgingly quit his role as “the guy in the chair,” dedicating all of his time to his inventions
- He became MUCH more reclusive, leaving everyone in the dark about what (and how) he was doing. To CJ, he was more of a “presence” rather than an uncle now
- He then revealed his new invention, the Raph mech (Don has the shittiest coping skills known to man)
- Another couple years pass, Don still using all of his time to conduct his “experiments”
- Around this time, Leo had lost his arm. Donnie reconfigured one of his Raph mech’s arms to fit Leo to use as a prosthetic, the Raph mech was later decommissioned
- One day, Donnie oddly insisted on tagging along on a mission with Leo and Mikey
- HOLY MOLY LONG STORY SHORT, they get caught by a Krang soldier on their mission. But instead of taking cover, Donnie charges straight for the Krang mech
- Mikey and Leo watch in astonishment as Donnie manages to swiftly climb up onto the Krang mech and mount himself on its back, using his battle shell’s limbs for support
- To their horror, Donnie rips off his gloves and reveals his robotic arms, and starts tearing into the back of the mech, digging into the inside of it
- He deploys the wires and his own Krang biomass from his robotic arms, and shoves it all into the back of the Krang mech
- For a few moments, he struggles. Then, with purple glowing markings, his expression suddenly changes and the opening where the Krang soldier was mounted closed up, crushing the Krang inside
-ok so longer story shorter- through all of the struggle, the Krang he’d trapped in his prosthetic arms had been creeping onto him and was soon to make contact with his skin. And the building they were all in starts to collapse, (and when I say “building” I mean a giant NY style skyscraper,) and in an effort to save Mikey and Leo from being crushed, Donnie holds up what rubble he can with the now possessed mech, getting himself crushed, unable to hold up all the weight forever.
(But not before an epic and heartfelt monologue and musical number.)
Good god I’m so EMBARRASSING
I wish. I could wright fanfiction.
Goodbye now 🏃💨
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homeheroine · 7 months
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ROTTMNT Donnie x Reader | First Kiss Blurb |
Author's note : I have been ICHING to write for so long but I just haven't been inspired recently. If you have idea or request pleaseee request. If you do don't forget to read my rules because they have been updated! Thanks!!
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What a cold night it was in the lab. This temperature was typical of early October in NY. The cold weather made the lair quieter since it eased the cold blooded inhabitants into a sleep much sooner. Donnie though, was attempting to fight the sleepiness that was taking over. Not only was he usually sleepy because of his unhealthy sleeping habits but the cold temp was taking a real toll on him. His eyelids were heavy and the scribbles of equations on his paper were being to look more like a jumbled mess. Donnie furrowed his brow, turning his head to look at the time.
8:47 p.m.
He squinted at digital clock that hung on the wall diagonal to his desk. It was basically only 9 and he was about to fall asleep on his equations! His eyes lowered down to you, seated in the purple arm chair that sat directly below the glowing clock. Your face was illuminated in the dark lab by the blue glow of your phone screen. A sneeze racked through you and into the quiet room.
Donnie grimaced at this. It was cold for you too. You should go home. He thinks. Groaning he pushes himself away from his desk and stretches his aching back.
He hears your soft steps get louder as you approach. He peaks open an eye staring at you through his stretching.
"You look terrible." You joke leaning against his desk. You weren't wrong, his eye bags were dark and his voice was horse from lack of use.
Releasing a sigh he turns to you. Giving you a cold look, signaling he is not in the mood to joke. "The lair's temperature is rapidly dropping due to the time of year and the late hour. You should see yourself home." His voice robotic as he leaded over to look as his inchoarent work. He heard you sigh, disappointed, it sounded. He hated disappointing you. He felt he did it often, it was just so much easier to push you away then to try to fight himself for your... approval? Your friendship? His brow furrowed even deeper this time. But not because of the mess of equations that laid before him. Why did he even want those things from you?
Your voice calls his attention away, "Well since you want me gone so bad, I'll get going now." You laugh softly, in a joking manner, he guesses, he hopes. "Goodnight Don." You breath, turning to leave.
Donnie's heart chokes at your sad sounding goodbye. He wishes he could say something, anything to make you stay, but he just doesn't have the words.
Without thinking he reaches out for your departing hand. Catching it gently. You look back surprised. You knew Donnie wasn't one for touch, always allowing Donnie to initiate whenever he felt comfortable. Soft pats on the back, fist bumps and even a gentle side hugs as a greeting and goodbye. All of those felt like a social obligation, a "have to" in order to make the others feel seen. That's what you thought Donnie felt when he made those physical interactions. This contact though was different. There was no room for the eyes of others, no social rule needing to be filled. It was just the two of you. And the way his thumb softly rubbed against your hand sent a message that you'd never gotten from him before.
Donnie cleared his throat, a tactile stall he convinced himself. Not that he was nervous...... he was nervous.... he had no plan! Why did he do this! He had nothing to say to you, nothing but pure instinct pushed him here.
"uhhh." He blushed, looking up at you finally. You stared back, curiosity dancing in your eyes. What was he up to?
He didn't even know.
He straightened up hoping his height advantage would give him some confidence, some leverage over how your eyes seemed to swallow him up. "I-- you- you confuse me. Y/N." He tried to make more sense of what he was trying to say, "You make my actions an anomaly. I can't ever predict what I will do around you... you make me- you make me stupid."
You made a face, "I was just leaving you know." Catching your expression he quickly tagged on, "No no I didn't mean it in a bad way- I- I don't think. I just-" He looked into your eyes again, asking? Pleading? Pleading. Pleading for you to understand what he was leaving unsaid.
"Don, I don't understand..... Is this your way of telling me you- you don't want me around anymore?" Your tone was sad, trickling on the edge of tears. You moved your hand out of his.
Donnie's heart sank. No no no! He couldn't bare to see you sad and the fact that he was the one who did this to you shredded his heart. You were his partner, his confidant his best friend.... his crush. The gears in his mind finally snapped into rotation. Like a lightbulb going off, he finally understood why the room suddenly got hot whenever you entered. Why he felt he couldnt speak a word to you without tripping up. Why, no matter how hard he tried to cool the heat that spread on his face when you completemented his work just wouldnt go away. He finally understood. He was in love with you.
He didn't have any hypothesis going into this and he sure as hell couldn't predict what he would do next. Grabbing both of your hands suddenly he pressed his lips to yours.
Your eyes shot open peering at his tightly closed ones. You kissed back, letting him lead as usual when it came to physical contact.
The kiss was soft, even though he initially came in very quick. His lips were soft, if not a little chapped from his nervous biting. He let out a soft noise as you kissed back and placed your hands on his shoulders. He had no plan, you could tell by the way he nervously fidgided with your hands.
Donnie was a mess, his mind racing with what he had just done. Strategies of how to explain himself flying through his mind. Fear crawling onto his back. He almost pulled away until he felt you kiss back. Your hands landing on his shoulders cleared his racing mind, acting as a ground for him. He couldn't help but let out a soft noise at your unknown kindness. You always knew how to make him feel like million bucks, even now with his less than perfect confession.
Your silent reciprocation gave him enough confidence to shakily place his hands on your waist, squeezing your sides gently. Leaning into the kiss more you both sighed, as you silently encouraged him to continue.
The kisses grew quicker and more hasty as Donnie soon realized how much he needed this. How much he needed you.
All this time he wasn't able to understand his feelings, why you made him feel so "strange", he understood now. He pressed into you more making you lean against the desk behind you again. One of his hands moved from your waist to your face. Turning you so he could deepen the kiss. You smiled under his lips as you realized he was enjoying this. Feeling your soft smile melted him, all he wanted was to do good by you. And this smile was for him. This smile was because of him. He felt like putty.
He pulled away, only for you to chase after him whining about the sudden end.
Donnie's fingertips came to his lips, feeling the imprint of your kisses left behind. He such his eyes, the feeling over taking him. This was more than he thought he would ever get with you. He was so content with the approval you had given him before, but now he craved it. He craved you.
"Don?" You piped up breaking the silence, "Are you- was- was that ok?"
Donnie opened his eyes. Staring back into yours he replied, "Can we- can we do that again?"
Foot note : i love writing pre confession/pre relationship fics, they are literally my favs. Lemme know if you guys would like leo or raph or mikey!
taglist : @xnorthstar3x @leafyturtle
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wasyago · 14 days
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I'm so curious, but it's okay if you do not have an answer for me; did something happen to Etho in your recks au for him to need all of those robotic prosthetics, like an accident of sorts? Or did he, I guess, experiment on himself or something like that?
Wonderful design, by the way! I can't stop looking at it, I love it so much.
haha yeah something did happen :)c
so, as you may or may not know, the world of recks suffered from a catastrophe caused by the moon going off its orbit and almost crushing into earth; which caused the creation of many gravitational anomalies all over the planet; which caused most of the big cities to evolve downwards and move under the sea level; which created this odd phenomenon of many skyscrapers in the middle of the city being abandoned and staying vacant, even if the buildings are technically fully operational.
and so teen etho, our smart little boy, thought "Hey, i don't wanna live so low underground where the sun doesn't reach when there's perfectly good houses on the surface!" so he just kinda... left his home and moved to one of the abandoned buildings. which, i mean, good for him and all that. BUT.
see, the thing about run down buildings is that they don't have a good water supply. and the thing about water in recks au is that it has a ton of bad chemicals, moon debris, leftovers of destroyed infrastructure, etc, in it when unfiltered or filtered poorly.
and etho, although smart, wasn't smart enough to give proper attention to the metallic taste of the water in the building he moved in to. like, sure it tastes a little weird but otherwise it's fine, it's something you would expect from an abandoned skyscraper right?
well, little did he know that the water he drank for god knows how many years of his life, was actually slowly dissolving his insides and poisoning him! and yknow, sharp pain in your guts every so often is one thing, but actively coughing up blood is another. and thank god he met cleo by then, because they forced him to actually do a check up to see what was wrong.
everything was wrong how you might've already guessed, to the point where the damage wasn't reversible anymore and there was no way to heal naturally. sooo etho had to get the prosthetic and say goodbye to his organs. the other option was to say goodbye to his life tho so he got pretty lucky there i think. thankfully cleo is a prosthetics doctor neurologist person, and she was able to get everything sorted fairly quickly for him and get that man on the operating table as soon as possible.
so at the end, all of etho's vitals had to be changed, including his throat and lower jaw because it also god badly damaged by being in contact with the water. (turns out etho had the raspy voice not because he was cool but actually because he was dying 😬) and! let me tell you, removing someone's entire set of vitals and changing them for the artificial ones in one surgery without killing the person in the process is actually very hard!! who would've thought huh...
well uhmm, yeah so this is what happened to etho o3o
(the eye prosthetic is another story tho, this post is already pretty long so maybe next time)
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