#how is this thing still in some condition | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

clairedaring · 1 day

Text

why is ming such an interesting character - a thoughtful essay originally posted in the my stand-in mdl comments section

By MDL user Liltsu (reposting with permission from OP, just added some gifs to illustrate OP's points) - original comment link

Probably an incoming unpopular opinion ahead (read with caution lol, disclaimer that I am not attempting to justifying Ming's wrongdoings to Joe, more so trying to understand for myself and anyone else why I find his character so interesting):

Am I the only one who doesn’t hate Ming, and wouldn’t consider it to be a sad ending if Ming and Joe ended up together? At least as of now, especially from what I’ve seen currently and how I can imagine the direction the rest of the series might take. Let me expand.

For context, I went into this drama not expecting very much, and felt extremely sceptical of the trope of the ‘stand-in’ it uses, because one of my pet peeves in romance dramas is the ‘transfer’ phenomenon. If you haven’t heard that term before, it’s basically a psychological term about how a person (let’s call them A) will ‘imprint’ on someone else (person B). So to have a ‘transfer’ regarding someone else, for example, would mean that person A might have liked a person in the past (person C), and then meet someone new (person B) who resembles that person (C) in some way, and purely because of that, person A starts to also like or believe that they genuinely like person B. The problem with transfers is that they typically are rooted in a person’s (A) unwillingness to let go of the past person, and don’t truly love/hate (whatever emotion it is) the new person (B). This drama, reverses that trope.

This will link to why I find Ming’s bond with Joe to be more genuine than I’ve seen be believed on here (just based on a few comments tbf). My theory is that, ironically, it was Tong all along that was Joe’s metaphorical stand-in from the start. Why? We see a short flashback of Ming going to the cinemas and seeing the ad/clip of ‘Tong’s’ back, doing a martial arts scene, but we only see his back. That very shot/scene is what made Ming feel entranced by Tong and motivated him to seek Tong out with his sister for an autograph. He even mentions it himself to Tong. However, I believe that the ‘back’ that Ming saw, was Joe’s and not Tong’s. Ming « fell in love » with Joe’s acting/aura/presence on the screen first, but mistook him for Tong who is the ‘known’ actor of the film he saw. So all along, his feelings for Tong are somewhat illusory, and obsessive. Tong, who in my opinion gets off of happily at the notion of someone being infatuated with him, simply strings Ming along (and uses him), as we’ve seen.

In my opinion, Tong represents the side of Ming that was raised in a classist, materialistic family that rather obsesses about ‘spectacle’, in a way that harms Ming in the long-term. That kind of lifestyle or way of life makes him petty, distrustful, overtly and unreasonably jealous, and aggressive. Behaviours that manifest very evidently when Ming sees Joe with Sol, but particularly in correlation to scenes in which his affinity for Tong has been strengthened (Tong only sharpens the conditioning Ming has been raised through, that of being sceptical and always needing things to go his way, and fuels this, either by being in his direct company or feeding him seeds of doubt indirectly). Tong represents attachment and obsession but not love. Particularly the scene in which Ming renders Joe unconscious and keeps him captive is the most blatant example of Tong’s influence, which brings out all of the qualities of Ming that reflect the wealthy and entitled background he is born from and still lives off from.

Ming’s interest in Joe is different in my opinion, and the series carefully points to this in a nuanced way. If my theory is correct about Ming having been drawn to Joe first, rather than Tong, and the feelings that were initially meant for Joe came to be directed toward Tong (and became twisted due to that fact), we can assume that Ming’s feelings for Joe are more…instinctual. They awaken something in Ming. And to me this is perfectly shown in their first interactions: Ming hugs Joe from behind, believing he is Tong, but if my guess turns out to be true, he subconsciously went toward Joe and embraced him with the original feelings that he felt at the cinema (when he truly ‘first’ saw him), rather than the other way around, which the series makes us believe at first glance. Then, in their interactions after, Ming is consciously reluctant to open up to Joe (showcasing the walls he has up, even toward Tong), but is still intuitively interested in Joe, wants to be around him, and cares about what he is up to. In my opinion, he sets unfair and unequal conditions in their relationship at first because of the self-défense mechanism he has kept up (someone with his background would find it difficult to trust and be vulnerable with someone else easily). This is why the most crucial interactions between Joe and Ming, in my view, are the scenes at Joe’s home. We see that Joe had said that Ming had fulfilled HIS dream to come back to a lit home and with someone welcoming you back warmly. I believe this is something Ming has long craved as well for himself, and Joe expressing this, and being the way he is, makes Ming feel safe and allows him to become more open, more intimate, more honest, more ‘himself’.

I feel that Ming struggles to fully understand these sides of him, and has even more difficulty communicating it to others (especially Joe), but that his gentler moments show indeed the equal, and dare i say, even ‘healthy’ potential of this couple. We see this from the last scene of this episode. Instead of Ming indulging in luxuries for someone of his status, or succumbing to some kind of greed, he has pertained to what he has truly desired all along in his heart: a warm home, where he can lead an honest and loving life with the person who sees him past his social persona of the rich, pampered, entitled and obsessive kid. This is symbolised by the fact that he has continued to live in Joe’s home, waiting for him for the last two years, which reflects his commitment and earnestness which he had gradually developed for Joe, even before.

I think what people get (understandably) confused or feel betrayed by, is the scene in which Joe realises he has been a ‘stand-in’ for Tong by Ming, especially during sex (because this is somewhat what Ming consciously believes for himself too). For me, I saw it more so as, on one level, the revelation of what I just mentioned about Ming’s prior conscious intention (which evidently is form of betrayal to Joe), and on another level, it is a defining moment of transition, where Ming is still somewhat clinging on to Tong (because of the feelings he first felt for him at the cinema, which could really be Joe again), but also clinging still to what he knows and about his way of going about things (through manipulation and violence).

So a transition from that, into the growing feelings, appreciation, and warmth Ming did start to exhibit at Joe’s house (the symbol of vulnerable space). We see this through Ming buying the couple mugs with THEIR names (Ming and Joe), or the meaningful moments of genuine happiness that Ming feels in the simple, non judgemental moments between the two of them. This is something his sister comments about, that seeing Ming with Joe is surprisingly pleasant because it is the fist time in a very long time since she has seen Ming happy and so smiley (this is one of the biggest external piece of evidence to the idea that Ming’s « feelings » for Tong have a very different nature to his feelings for Joe). And we see this very clearly in the scene in which Joe bought a watch to Ming (and which I believe we see him promote now two years later on the poster he is). That scene is extremely significant because it shows the shift and differences of Ming alone with Joe compared to with Tong or how he is used to being. The watch is a gift from Joe, who believes it to be the « top » watch in terms of ‘quality’ and price, something we see Ming ALREADY HAS (and doesn’t have particular personal feelings toward). The top watch he has reflects his status, his wealthy background and the expectations on him by others and himself (to be considered societally the ‘best’, but in a rather vain way). However, Joe’s watch isn’t the top watch in a societal, classist sense, but it holds more value to Ming because it represents Joe’s sincerity and that matters more to him. The watch, which is typically a common symbol of time, also reflects, in my opinion, the difference in how Ming spends his time. By taking Joe’s watch and wearing it, his way of using time is also more personal and sincere, wanting to lead a life of authentic connection with someone on the same wavelength as you. In his act of taking of his old watch, which was the ‘top watch’, Ming leaves behind his old lifestyle, or at least takes on more step toward exiting it (the life of vanity and falsehoods). So all these signs of Ming’s genuine interest, endearment and feelings of care for Joe are sprinkled there from the beginning, and the series deliberately is setting a constraint between his potential for warmth and healthy sincerely with the baggage he still has from his past through Tong and his family (something he both feels and is to some extent very much controlled by).

The series has really made me invested, and that has really been invigorating for me (as I binged the episodes today) because I haven’t really felt that as much with a lot of BL series lately - not that there aren’t don’t get me wrong, just that it feels like fewer have my engagement than usual. And to me, the series’ strength at this point (excluding the very good acting etc) is the writing, so I am very hopeful that for the parts of Ming that would require a form of redemption, or improvement, that the series would allow him to have that arc by the time that Joe and him supposedly get back together (if they do). In the case where my interpretation is close to the series’ intention, then i believe that although it doesn’t make the previous scenes justified, that it would be very much possible for Joe and Ming’s relationship to take on a healthier, more mature turn, where their relationship would become more patient, communicative and understanding, just like the interactions they shared in their own shared home.

I’ll probably end my train of thought here, but would really like to hear if anyone disagrees or agrees with my opinions, would be happy to hear from anyone hihi. Thank you to those who read this whole e s s a y, i’m appreciative of that :).

#msi thoughts #NOT MINE #my stand in #my stand in the series #my stand-in

84 notes · View notes

drdemonprince · 23 hours

Text

I have to admit I was a little fucked up by egg memes and trans discourse that implied that unaddressed dysphoria was the primary source of misery in a person's life and that transitioning would suddenly make a person feel at ease, confident, happy in their body, and untraumatized.

I wouldn't say it's the most common narrative at all but there are certainly some trans people who explicitly propagate such myths especially if they conceive of themselves as a benevolent yet highly involved "egg cracker," too. There's a whiff of projection about the whole thing that's quite gross. People regret the time they spent in the closet and try to spare others the pain by pressuring them to come out before they are ready or making the experience of transitioning seem more straightforwardly positive than it ever could be. like, transitioning comes with a great degree of exposure to stigma and prejudice and if you already feel uncomfortable with yourself that's not exactly going to make your social anxiety any better.

it's really nobody's fault that i wanted such a tidy solution to these things, i've always been the type to love a false epiphany and to want to tear my skin off and burst forth, feeling free of myself and that is impossible. i made my decisions and it was good to learn from them -- i had to overcome a significant amount of my repression and escapist fantasizing *by* pursuing the kind of life that I dreamed about and realizing it was also gonna be flawed. i've done that with things that aren't transness, like my fantasy of living a 24/7 D/s hypno dynamic. i had to actually try to live that fantasy in reality a couple of times before i could be disillusioned enough with it and get over it and stop running away from reality anymore. getting disillusioned with what you think will make you happy and accepting ordinary unhappiness is a common project of life.

but still, you know, i wish fewer trans people felt the need to cover their revelations with treacly simplistic messages about how everything is better now and if you question your gender at all that means youre trans for sure and not transitioning is the one thing preventing you from leading a fulfilling life and all that. it makes sense as a reaction to mounting systemic transphobia but i always find myself wishing, in all things, that people could be more detailed and openly ambivalent about things instead of feeling they had to make straightforward simplistic love-is-love type emotional appeals. gay people are allowed to have bad marriages and divorces. trans people are allowed to still be unhappy complicated people after we transition. thats like the human condition

88 notes · View notes

botanicalsword · 1 day

Text

Grand Trine ✧ their strength & weakness

A grand trine is an astrological structure that occurs when three planets or points form a triangle in the same element, forming an equilateral triangle at a harmonious 120-degree angle to each other.

✧

they have advantageous natural conditions that can make life easier, but it doesn't mean one can completely relax and rely on those advantages

be cautious about their weaknesses and limitations, and maintain a humble and proactive mindset

things might seem smooth sailing from the start, we cannot ignore the natural cycle of change. We must always be prepared to face adversity

recognize our own strengths and weaknesses, maintain humility and a sense of crisis

•

>> Venus sign • check how you pursue love & beauty>> Mars ▸ and their cup of tea ☼

✧ Fire Grand Trine (Aries, Leo and Sagittarius)

It brings a harmonious and fortunate influence - with passion, creativity, and enthusiasm. Fire grand trine is present in a birth chart, it indicates a person who is dynamic, confident, and can easily harness their inner passion to achieve their goals. They may have a natural talent for leadership, entrepreneurship, or any endeavor that requires a bold and adventurous spirit. The balanced energies of the fire grand trine can also foster a sense of optimism, spontaneity, and a zest for life. Individuals with this configuration may find it easy to maintain a positive outlook and inspire those around them. Fire grand trine is not a guarantee of success or an entirely problem-free life. It must be considered in the context of the entire birth chart and the individual's personal circumstances.

✧ Earth Grand Trine (Taurus, Virgo and Capricorn)

People with an Earth grand trine tend to have a very grounded, practical, and realistic personality. They prefer order, routine, and stability, and place a high value on feeling secure and comfortable. Earth signs are very sensory-oriented, and find joy and solace in the physical, material world around them. They are often hesitant to leave their comfort zones, preferring to act only when they feel completely ready. While the Earth grand trine indicates strong creative potential and the ability to manifest their ideals, actually taking action can be a challenge for them. Some may even feel they don't need to work hard, relying on government assistance or a wealthy partner to provide for them, as they don't overly prioritize financial matters. This nonchalance towards money management can also lead to financial troubles, as they sometimes are overly optimistic and assume good times will continue. Earth grand trine shows a lack of initiative and adventurous spirit, with a tendency to cling to comfort and ease. Overcoming these limitations will help them to realize their capabilities.

✧ Air Grand Trine (Gemini, Libra and Aquarius)

Air signs excel at mental abilities and social interaction - they are naturally inclined towards networking and communication. Those with an Air grand trine are skilled at making connections, conceptualizing ideas, and expanding their knowledge. They have active, agile minds and enjoy theoretical discussions, maintaining an objective, detached perspective. While Air signs seem to relish socializing, they often lack deep emotional experiences, preferring to skim across the surface. They are considered among the most detached of the signs. Air signs tend to think before acting, but their short attention spans can lead them to become all talk and no action. Some may become so enthusiastic about their learning that they neglect practical application, forever remaining in a state of learning without fully implementing their knowledge. Translating complex ideas into concrete reality is still a challenge, as they struggle to break free from the constraints of thought alone.

✧ Water Grand Trine (Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces)

Water grand trine is deeply connected to the realms of emotion and spirituality. Water grand trine are particularly sensitive and skilled at attuning to their own and others' inner lives. Their feelings run deep, often tapping into the subconscious and transcendent. They typically trust their intuition and inner senses, relying more on gut feelings than logic in their decision-making. They are highly focused on the spiritual and psychological dimensions of life. It shows how they express their emotions - they experience life's events with profound emotional intensity. This depth of feeling can sometimes make them overly sensitive and prone to emotional ups and downs. Yet the same quality allows them to be highly empathetic and caring when others need support. Conversely, they may at times even have emotional crises, seeking healing and transformation. They can swing between being perpetually immersed in their feelings, or completely unable to find someone who fulfills their emotional needs. They have exceptional artistic gifts, though some may keep this creativity within themselves rather than fully sharing it. They often enjoy solitude, as it provides the self-nourishment and contentment they crave.

•

Quick access >>

>> Back to Masterlist ✧ Explicit Content

Exclusive access : Patreon

/ instagram : @le.sinex / @botanicalsword

Moon signs ♡ Being in love vs Falling out of love

Mercury - interpreted as they are

Mars Sign's Approaches to Relationships

❥ Synastry / Composite Chart Observations

92 notes · View notes

raven-at-the-writing-desk · 2 days

Note

The anon who sent the malleus ask. While there are some characters in twst cast that I tolerate there is just the Octavinelle trio that I dislike significantly. There actions during book 3 just made my blood boil. Vil was also on that list but he managed to redeem himself somewhat in book 6. At least he apologised. Can't say the same for merfolk trio. I'm curious though. Despite what they were doing to everyone (especially yuu) they are still very popular within the fandom. Your thoughts?

… Which Malleus ask?? I have several in my inbox and queue 💦

I think it's important to first establish that people do not always base whether they like/dislike a character based on the morality of the actions that character made in-universe. TWST is a game with a wide variety of characters, and a game which centers on both the good and the evil that they are capable of. Some characters apologize for their actions (Riddle with his apology tart, Vil at the start of book 6, Idia mumbles a sorry at the end of book 6), others don't or may have apologized off-screen (Jamil, Leona, Azul). We shouldn't expect them all to react to their issues in the same way, and nor does lack of a formal apology mean they do not feel remorse or aren't addressing their issues on their own way. For example, while we may not see Azul utter a "sorry" to anyone, we do see him and the twins changing up the business model at the Mostro Lounge after his OB, both in terms of food/drink sales and in terms of how to get one of his well-sought-after consultations. Many of the students, the OB boys in particular, do dubious things and that was a huge part of the advertising and marketing for TWST (and still is to this day); the franchise largely pulls fans who are interested in these types of narratives.

This brings me to Octavinelle. Was what they did scummy? Yeah. Do people have a right to judge them and dislike because of what they did? Also yes. But they remain popular anyway because the wrongs they committed are not the only things defining them. You have Azul's backstory, the complex friendship-business partnership deal between the trio, the very cohesive mermaid mafia theme--and, despite all the bad they've done, you can't also help but respect and admire them for the intelligence and planning it takes to carry out the operations that they do (+ using that asset when they return to help in book 4). Running a restaurant on their own AND Azul's... other business... while also being students and participating in clubs is nothing to sneeze at. They have redeeming qualities that fans love outside of being upset at them or holding them accountable for book 3.

I think what also helps to offset the evil of their actions in book 3 is the fact that it can be argued the 225 students they suckered "opted in" (and Yuu "opted in" too, it’s not like Azul forced them to sign). They came to Azul of their own free will seeking help, and Azul provided that help. He laid out the conditions and made them VERY clear, and it was the students who agreed to his terms and signed on the dotted line. Technically Azul did nothing "legally wrong" and played by the rules (respecting client confidentiality, taking advantage of loopholes), which is why Crowley cannot intervene. And, as Leona states later in book 3, anyone who falls for Azul's schemes is dumb and only has themselves to blame for thinking there is such an easy way out to their woes. Yes, it was dirty for Azul and the twins to interfere and/or set up the conditions in their favor, but there's also a degree of responsibility on the signers to read the terms and consider where the contracts may be deficient.

My point is, people will like what they like and it doesn’t solely come down to the righteousness (or lack thereof) of the characters’ behavior. I’d also say that behaviors themselves don’t always fall into “good” or “bad” categories. Azul’s contracts themselves are technically neutral. Other times, it depends on perspective. For examples, Malleus deems his actions in book 7 "good" but to everyone else it's "bad"--and the players, looking on, have to grapple with the dual nature of it. That's a discussion for another time though, I don't want to go too out of the scope of this ask.

#twst #twisted wonderland #Azul Ashengrotto #Tweels #Octavinelle #Floyd Leech #Jade Leech #disney twisted wonderland #disney twst #book 3 spoilers #Dire Crowley #Idia Shroud #Leona Kingscholar #Riddle Rosehearts #Jamil Viper #Vil Schoenheit #Malleus Draconia

74 notes · View notes

honeytonedhottie · 11 hours

Text

lets talk manifestation⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🍭

this post is intended to inform you about the law of assumption, kind of like a master post if its something that you'd like to get into. i've talked about the loa countless times and i'll continue to do so to encourage u all to apply the law and live the life of ur dreams ✨

if u already know about the law, this post will serve as a reminder that manifesting is EASY and that you know how to do it. its easy peasy! if u wanna know more about manifesting, join my google class 💕

WHAT IS MANIFESTATION ;

manifestations is the law of the UNIVERSE. its our nature and we've been doing it infinitely. we are always manifesting. ur inner world translates to ur outer world. manifestation is controlling (disciplining urself) ur thoughts so that u can control your reality, and you DO control your reality subconsciously. but its just what u think -> what u experience. MANIFESTATION = CURATING UR WORLD.

WHERE DOES DISCIPLINE COME IN ;

if u dont take the time to curate ur thoughts then ur world is just gonna be running on autopilot based on what you've been conditioned to believe. you're always selecting experiences based on what u focus on.

for example if ur constantly complaining, ur reality will just give u more things to complain about because thats what ur focusing on. whats in ur mind translates to ur reality.

HOW TO MAKE IT WORK FOR YOU ;

shifting ur thoughts and thinking only what u want to experience. u select new experiences through ur mind. from my experience what i KNOW works is affirming and thats universal. so if u love affirming then good for you, but its all about finding what u can do better. for me its affirming, for some people its visualization just do you.

a helpful analogy to make things a little clearer is to imagine ur mind as a printer and whatever u feed the printer is whats going to be expressed into ur reality. YOU are the one feeding the printer meaning that you are in control.

what u need to do to start applying the law of assumption is decide. decide that ur not going to be a victim in ur own reality and stand on ur decision. for the first couple of days/or weeks you'll still be experiencing ur old beliefs because they were so ingrained in you.

but instead of falling back into old patterns you'll respond differently to ur 3D circumstances. by not reacting to unfavorable circumstances your not re-selecting that experience.

52 notes · View notes

shadowxamyweek · 11 hours

Text

What The Fuck Do You Mean They Gave Amy Rose an Eating Disorder

Alright. I said I’d talk about why I think Amy has an eating disorder, and so here I am, ready to throw down.

Disclaimer!

Let me explicitly say- there’s nothing wrong with exercise and there’s nothing wrong with going on a diet. Not intrinsically, anyway. If you’re being smart and healthy about it, you’ve got good people supporting you or you’ve got your own good mental supports to make sure you’re not hurting yourself, that’s awesome. I am not saying these things are evil. What I am saying is there exists a very dark and obsessive undercurrent to *any* sort of health choice due to cultural expectations that, if a person is not careful about, they can get sucked into.

Trigger warnings!

This is very 'Dead Dove, Do Not Eat.' We're gonna be talking about eating disorders and self harm. It's right here on the tin. If you don't think you're gonna be okay reading this, then don't. I want you to be safe. I believe I've tagged this appropriately, but if I've missed something, please let me know.

What even is an eating disorder?

Broadly speaking, it is any behavioral condition characterized by abnormal eating habits. Some eating disorders stem from physical difficulty with eating that becomes psychological, while others originate due to psychological issues themselves. There are eating disorders that occur because people just wish to be in control of something, those that originate due to side effects of medication, those that occur due to side effects of other psychological conditions like anxiety or depression.

This is to say- not all eating disorders are due to an obsession with body image.

However, it cannot be understated just how many people develop an eating disorder because they are obsessed with body image.

I am of the opinion Amy falls into the latter category, that she is obsessed with body image and, due to that, has an eating disorder.

So what’s going on with Amy?

Let’s look at Sonic Battle (2003). It’s a PVP fighting game for the Game Boy Advance, picking up the plot directly after Sonic Heros and introducing us to Ermel (who would die and come back as Germel). Much like the previous games, you would have a singular plot that was divided into sections. We will be focusing on Amy and Cream’s chapters within the story.

Amy Rose (X)

Cream (X)

Battle is what introduces us to Amy’s boxercising. Originally, she started it to get stronger, Cream citing Amy’s desire to keep Ermel safe after briefly getting kidnapped. However, once she realizes she can lose weight via this method, she becomes obsessed. Cream talks about it, seeming visibly uncomfortable with Amy’s fixation on losing weight, but we don’t really get much in the way of details until we actually fight Amy and see this weightloss obsession in action.

In the Amy chapter of the story, she takes Ermel back to her apartment to train. They set a goal of 5 KOs, then 10. Amy feels faint, citing lightheadedness. Ermel leaves her alone in her apartment.

The next time you see her, only a few moments later, Cream is there. Turns out Amy was so lightheaded she had to go for a liedown. Cream says she’s worried about Amy. Specifically, she says she’s ‘burnt out,’ from overworking herself. Amy promptly comes back from her short break, stumbling into the room, to which Cream exclaims they can’t keep going because Amy can’t walk straight. Amy tells Cream she’s fine, and proceeds to start another goal of 10 KOs.

After that, Amy wants to keep working out, but she’s reaching her limit. She’s unable to speak more than a word or two without gasping for air. Insisting she can keep exercising, she tries to excuse herself to ‘change tactics’. When Cream follows her, it’s revealed that Amy’s been wearing excessively heavy weights on her arms and legs during this entire training spree.

Amy says to go for another goal of 10 KOs. Cream, visibly upset, says that Amy has lost her focus on training. Still, you fight her anyway.

After this, Amy collapses.

She is able to pull herself together after a second, rushing off with Ermel to keep fighting in search of the Chaos Emeralds. Cream seems relieved that Amy’s alright, saying, ‘she’s the strongest woman I know.’

The relief does not last long. After you finish Amy’s chapter, you switch to Cream’s. It opens up post boxcercise with Amy congratulating Ermel on getting strong. Cream noticeably stays very quiet during the exchange.

Then, Amy asks, ‘how much did I lose today?’

Ermel tells her that she’s burned 1000 calories during their workout session. If she wants, she can lose a kilo/2 pounds-ish per three days if she is able to keep this up, but she will have to eat only 700 calories a day max and drink 4 liters/ 1 gallon-ish of water a day. Amy gets very excited. She also says she’s going to purchase some ‘super diet-machine.’ to further her progress. She thanks Ermel for helping her get closer to her goal.

After a bit of a back and forth, Cream says to Ermel that Amy is really getting into this dieting. When Ermel asks, ‘Is getting thin good?’ Cream explains that Amy wants to be thinner so that Sonic might like her back. Ermel, understandably, doesn’t get it. Cream replies that, sometimes, a person will do anything for someone they love. Ermel stays silent, and Cream says that one day, they may eventually understand.

(I swear there’s an additional dialog option if you go back to Amy’s place to talk to her where Ermel suggests she eat nothing but lettuce leaves, but I have misplaced my own copy of the game and cannot verify this. As such, I am not going to use it as evidence, but I do ask that if anyone DOES have the game, fact-check me on this place. I’d like to know if my memory is correct or if this is just a fabrication due to… everything mentioned above.)

So okay, that’s the beats of the story. Now let’s talk about dangerous exercise and diet culture:

Exercise and Eating Disorders

Boxercise feels like a direct parallel to stuff like Jazzercise (60s-80s) or Zumba (00s-10s), which is just normal exercise with a twist of some sort that make it palatable for mass engagement/marketing. These different fun and exciting methods (and they can be- they can be fun- I’m not even gonna lie.) of workout were often sold as methods of both gaining strength and losing weight, but the losing weight often becomes their focus. This game even calls out the ‘this will make me stronger’ to ‘this will make me thin and desirable’ mental pipeline that can happen in the culture surrounding these sorts of exercise methods, unfortunately fostered despite whatever intentions their creators or individualized mentors had. There is nothing wrong with any of these styles of exercise. However, overexercise can be a hallmark of an eating disorder, and a culture of obsession that can surround fad exercises promoting extreme weightloss is dangerous. (X) (X)

It’s not new. The culture around these fad exercise methods might create a special sort of vortex, but look closely, and you'll likely pick up a few people with the same mindset at any old gym. ‘If I just keep pushing, if I just keep going, if I ignore the pain, I’ll be who I want to be.’ That’s how people get permanent injury, from Jannet going way too hard at pilates to Keith pushing far too much weight.

Speaking of weights- We are lead to believe that Amy has been wearing weights this entire time. I don’t just mean for the fight mentioned above. Think about it- she takes them off during that massive workout/fight, but when did she put them on? We don’t see it. We’ve been with her nearly the entire time. This reads to me that she has had them on the entire day, not just for her exercising.

It should be noted that wearing weights in this manner for an extended period of time can lead to damage (X) . As an aside, I have found no studies on the matter, but at least half of the people I know who have also had an eating disorder at one point or another intentionally weighed themselves down in some manner thinking they could burn more calories by doing whatever it was they were doing. This includes wearing training weights all the time, overfilling backpacks and carrying them around, and other things.

It’s not the exercise that is bad, it’s not the method that is bad, it’s not most of the community that is bad, but there is (and has always been, and will always be, unfortunately) a portion of it with this dangerous mindset that a person can get sucked into if they are not careful.

Due to the evidence above, it seems clear to me that Amy has gotten sucked into this mindset.

That’s just a part of it though. The restricted eating is where it gets really solidified for me.

Diet Culture and Eating Disorders

Now, obviously I’m going to be going off of human numbers, so if you wish to counterargue that ‘oh well they’re smaller/different species of course they’d need less calories’ that’s fine- feel free to do so- but just understand I personally don’t think the text was written with that sort of calculation in mind.

The average human body, even if it is a body largely at rest, needs about 2,000 calories a day to help maintain good health (X) (PLEASE ignore BMI it's a bullshit method of measurement). Various fad diets or crazes have come and gone across the centuries, with focuses on trying to achieve whatever body type was popular in that moment.

‘This will make you sexy. This will make you wanted. This will finally make someone love you. Before, you were unlovable. After, maybe you’ll have a real chance.’

Noticeably, in the fad diets of the 90s into today, the focus for a lot of people attempting to lose weight has been ‘restrict your caloric intake.’ That’s not a problem until you start cutting out foods with nutrients the body needs to survive and/or getting to under a 1,000 calories a day (X).

Despite what a lot of popular caloric or generalized eating restriction diets will tell you, if you keep your body from energy, it will go into protection mode. Protection mode is where your body acts like it is starving, because it is, thus slowing down its stash of burnable energy. Your average caloric burn then DROPS. This causes it to become harder and harder to lose weight the longer you starve yourself, which creates a vicious cycle.

Furthermore, if you are both working out and dieting, you need good caloric intake when working out in order to help facilitate building muscle. If you don’t eat properly while working out, you don’t build the muscle you should and, in fact, you can lose muscle or cause permanent damage since your muscles won’t have the tools/energy to repair themselves after workouts.

Crash diets/workouts like this are also not sustainable. There have been dozens of studies on how losing weight too quickly can be bad for the body, but beyond that, the mental tax of trying to maintain a non-maintainable lifestyle of limited eating/ overworkout often ends in a massive rebound (a rubber-banding if you wanna call it that) due to lethargy or mental fatigue (not helped by the lack of food.). That plus a brutalized metabolism will cause people to gain the weight they lost back, make it more difficult to lose, and might ultimately result in the person gaining more weight than they had previously. Again- vicious cycle.

But the dieting industry, the diet culture doesn’t really care about that. It largely doesn’t care if its product or concept or whatever hurts you. Its job is to make money.

Because here’s the thing- Most people have a part of themselves, however small, that would love to change. Most people would like to be liked, to be needed, to be desired in some capacity. Due to this, a person's self worth is often tied up in some part of themself, often something that is visual, often something that, if given the opportunity, they’d change.

What I Personally Have Seen in Regards to Eating Disorders in Media while Growing Up.

Thank goodness so much has changed. I remember eating disorders taking up whole episodes in television series, whole issues in comics, whole books in novel series, and it has largely evaporated. The problem is still around, because of course it is, but it is far less of a joke now than it use to be.

When I was growing up, there were a lot- and I mean a lot- of stories that said, ‘Oh, if you were just a little better, someone would love you. Someone will notice you. If you were prettier, cooler, thinner, buffer, whatever- people would notice you. Someone would love you. Maybe even that specific person you wish could love you back.’

‘If you just tried a little harder, maybe it’ll happen.’

And you saw this in the real world, in the marketing, in the fashion, everywhere. Advertisements pushed that if you didn’t fit this very specific, narrow, palatable concept of beauty, then you weren’t worth anyone’s time.

When this was portrayed in media, it often manifested directly into characters doing insane things to change themselves. Sometimes it was their style of dress, or their personality. Oftentimes, it would manifest in them trying to get buff or be thin.

With a lot of stories, the character often came to the conclusion of, ‘Hey, just be you. You’re good as you- don’t do things to impress other people. Don’t be who you’re not because you feel you have to.’

But it was a coinflip as to whether or not the story would prove that to be wrong or true.

Worse still, even if the lesson was still ‘just be you,’ the whole ordeal was often portrayed as a joke.

Specifically, women- girls- working out to exhaustion, starving themselves, was portrayed as a joke.

If the goal of the story was for comedy, and the end had the character revert back to who they were previously, it can usually be put into one of two categories:

‘How could you be so stupid? How could you believe you ever needed to change? How dumb are you to fall for social pressure like that?’

or-

‘How could you be so stupid? How could you believe you could change? You’re not strong enough to change. You’re too you to ever be liked.’

How does continued hunger relate to mood?

The concept of being ‘hangry’ is pretty well known. (X). Be hungry long enough, you get physically unwell, and you can unlock a special sort of anger that only comes with being hungry.

Not just that, but being hungry for extended periods of time can also cause issues with mental clarity (X).

It goes just beyond hangry though. Food and nutrition have long been understood to affect mood and mental well being, though not to the scientific degree able to be achieved today (X) . To summarize as simply as possible- your gut biome, which is dictated largely by your diet, directly impacts mental and physical wellbing. If your gut biome is maintained as it should be, then you overall will have a healthier mental state and overall feel better. If your gut biome is poor, due to undereating or lack of intake of needed nutrients, your biome will start to wither. This will directly impact your mental and physical wellbeing.

I’m not going to dwell on this for terribly long, but I want to bring it up in correlation with the previous two sections because who amongst the Sonic crew is often labeled as being emotionally unstable and prone to moodswings?

Amy Rose.

Who is often fingered as having outbursts of volatile anger rivaling that of even Knuckles?

Amy Rose.

And who do we see starving themselves in game and working themselves past the point of exhaustion?

Amy Rose.

Listen, I confess this one is a bit of a stretch. It’s more of a continuation from the two other points that I sort of wanted to point out. If you can understand the previous arguments for her overworking and underfeeding herself, then this one feels like a natural third component in that and, as such, I felt it should be at least mentioned.

On that note, let’s back up and return to Amy.

I’m the sort of person that’s got a narrow focus when it comes to Sonic properties. Specifically, if it’s not game canon, it’s not canon to me.

However, in understanding that other canons exist, other properties within the Sonic universe exist, I won’t ignore them. Even if I don’t think they’re canon, if there is a throughline within, I cannot help but to notice.

So it’s with this in mind that I ask you: Do you know of Sonic Spin and Dash?

It’s a manga. Put out in the early 00’s, it was a little series of comics that focused on Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, Amy, Shadow, and Eggman having arbitrary interactions. They’re largely cute and lighthearted. I couldn’t tell you officially what the official age demographic would be for them, but I’d have to guess something fairly young.

Volume 6 is titled, ‘A Maiden's High-Tech Diet.’ In it, Amy freaks out about having gained 3 kilos/ about 7 pounds. Despite the fact that she’s a growing girl, this deeply upsets her. She asks Tails and Sonic not to eat (in front of her? At all? Unsure.) while she’s trying to diet. Eggman shows up and offers her a solution- a diet machine that will help her achieve the weight and look she wants so deeply. 3 days later, Amy approaches Sonic again.

She’s emaciated. Wobbling in from off-stage, unable to even speak a sentence without pausing, she asks Sonic if she’s looking thinner.

Let me rephrase- she’s asking if she looks ‘thin enough’.

Eggman, via his dieting ‘robot’ which really is just a mech he’s hiding inside, asks Amy and co. to perform more insane tasks to weaken them and cause them to be too exhausted to fight him. However, even during this, Amy has other ‘slimming’ products that she’s bought which she uses to defeat Eggman.

In the end, everyone exhausts Eggman, causing him to give up his scheme and leave. By the end of all of it, he himself is looking thin, having worked off much of his weight in this charade.

It’s just played off as a joke.

Alright, but that was early 00’s. How’s Sega been about Amy now?

Well, this hasn’t really come up in games again, thank goodness. I reiterate- times have changed, and I’m very glad about that. That doesn’t mean this sort of thing is entirely gone, however. This image is from Sonic Channel in 2022 (X).

The image is accompanied by this caption:

---

“Otome Straight!” Emmy is passionate about boxercise , saying it's perfect for dieting

Indoor training on rainy days is perfect! Bouncing the punching bag and working up a good sweat with Emel's support

"Mom, do your best. Ato Sukoshi."

Let's keep a healthy body with training for the rainy season !

---

Once again, we have this focus on dieting and food reduction. Again, not a bad thing- perfectly normal- but the reason I take pause is because of the crossed out icecream picture.

@mysuperlaserpiss - I hope you don’t mind, but I wanted to bring up your comment on that initial post I put out.

…Yeah. Yeah, I 100% agree.

So when conversations around eating disorders comes up, one of the first things to discuss is, ‘what is your relationship to food?’ Essentially, it boils down to: do you see food as fuel and that it is a normal thing to have, or do you see it is something you have to earn/avoid? (X)

Amy beating the shit out of a punching bag sporting a crossed out picture of icecream, talking about dieting, smacks of, ‘you see food as something you have to earn/avoid,’ to me. It’s as simple as that. This appears as though she’s beating the desire for certain foods out of herself. Simply put, that’s not healthy.

Okay, so what?

Man, I don’t know.

I don’t know, alright? I don’t know.

I’m biased. I was inundated with the idea of ‘you need to be better’ from a young age from all angles. I am strong, but not appealingly buff. I am not what I'd call heavy, but I'm most certainly not appealingly slim and doctors have always bitched about my BMI (which again- terrible system to work off of). Not that long ago, I was hiding weights under my pant legs even in the dead of summer thinking the extra weight on me when I moved about my day would help me burn calories. Not that long ago, I was walking around 30km/18 miles a week on top of doing several hours of intense exercise a week, all while only taking in around only 500 cal a day. I am constantly combating the idea that i need to deserve to eat, but if I eat, I won’t be loveable. Yeah, I’m doing better- significantly so- but I am a biased, untrustworthy source to write about this and I recognize that. I am biased because I’ve been through it. I am biased because I have lived this very specific, isolating nightmare, and no matter how much better I am now, there are still days where all I can manage is a couple hard boiled eggs and maybe canned low-sodium fish.

I don’t know what to tell you. All I know is what I’ve been through, and when I look at Amy, when I look at her storylines through the games, I see a portion of me that I never would ever want to see in anyone else.

I see someone desperate to be wanted. I see someone disoriented and angry from lack of food. I see someone hurting themselves thinking it's normal to do so. I see someone trying and trying and trying so hard to fit this idea of ‘perfect’ and falling short.

There’s a lot of conversation right now around Amy’s character. How she was presented in early games vs now is significantly different, so of course it would be a subject of conversation. Sega seems to be trying to bring the characters into a new age, both in terms of the 2020’s and in terms of the characters' age themselves. There are those that say that Amy’s new presentation is due to her becoming older and more mature, while others argue that she’s become a shadow of her former self.

I can see both sides of the argument. Of course I can- I’ve been with this characters since almost the beginning. Still, when I look at the changes in Amy Rose, when I look at how happy she is, how energetic and content, my knee-jerk reaction isn’t to start wagging fingers.

It’s just, ‘Ah. Good. She’s eating.’

#amy rose #eating disorders #tw // ed #tw // eating disorder #tw // self harm #headcanon #*drags hands down face* I'm glad I finally got to write this- I've been wanting to write this for a long time- but wow I feel sick

36 notes · View notes

maleyanderecafe · 1 day

Text

Pretty Boy Panic (Visual Novel)

Created by: Bingzi

Genre: Horror/Otome

This game, as many, is still in it's demo state and it's actually created by the same person who made Pocket Lover. Currently, there is only one route available, which is Li, one of the MC's neighbors, thought there is a bit of another boy Tao, who is currently still in the development that's in the game. There are three ending so far and a guide. It's not too long of a game, but it does bring up yandere elements.

The story starts out with the Tan Xin waking up and being annoyed because of their neighbors who are being loud. They haven't slept well in a while because of them and the sounds range from lewd to suspiciously like murder. Tan Xin works in marketing with their friend/neighbor Kelly. Their boss (who just got a promotion) has been very tough on Tan Xin, making them pick up his extra work, much to their dismay. While going home, Tan Xin is extremely tired and has the option to kick one of the neighbor's doors in frustration and out comes Li, a surprisingly handsome neighbor. Tan Xin vents about how loud the neighbors are, and though most of it seems to be a different neighbor's fault, Li promises not only to talk about keeping the noise down but also buying the Tan Xin's food. After going to sleep, Tan Xin notes that it feels as if someone is watching them sleep. Tan Xin wakes up the next day to hang out with Li and while talking sees a beat up neighbor come out. It turns out he had quite a stern "talking" to by Li. Li and Tan Xin go to someplace sweet to buy food and the two talk about themselves- like Li's job and hobbies. After a while Tan Xin develops a crush on Li and sees him bringing boxes into his room. If you offer to help carry them, he snaps at Tan Xin before apologizing- as it seems there are some important computers in there. Tan Xin gets sleepier and sleepier as the days go by and even starts to lose things. One particular day, Kelly has to wake Tan Xin up before they oversleep and they head to work. Kelly asks Tan Xin to write James up for workplace harassment and the two go back. Li sees both of them coming back and asks the MC if they could start dating since they like each other. He says yes on the condition that Tan Xin stop talking to Kelly. The next day Kelly seems to have moved or gone on vacation (sure, that's what happened lol) and Li invites them into his house. There, Tan Xin notes a weird smell and while looking around, finds the dead body of Kelly. After finding out, Tan Xin finds out just how yandere Li is (stealing the MC's teeth and getting jealous). There's an option to tackle him, but either way the MC gets tased and taken into Li's home. There are a couple of other endings, one where Li breaks up (?) with Tan Xin because they don't have much in common and one where Tan Xin doesn't even confess and gets tased anyways.

If Tan Xin decides to not kick on the door, they will wake up the next day to find Tao as he gets slapped by another woman. As Tao cries, Tan Xin tries to comfort him and they start talking. Upon going to bed, Tan Xin ends up getting a call from James about the fact that they need some work done, promising to get them a good word so that they can get a promotion. The passing week is a big pain for Tan Xin, either having to work extra because of the project that James gives them, or are being forced to do extra work for refusing James. To take a break, Kelly brings Tan Xin to a bar, and ends up having to talk to one of her friends there, leaving Tan Xin alone. There, she interacts with the lady that slaps Tao, which can result in her letting it pass or flipping her off. Either way, Tan Xin ends up drinking a lot, leading to them talking to Kelly and Tao as he seems to be at the bar as well. There is a decision on whether or not Tao should bring Tan Xin home or if Kelly should, with the two compromising and both bringing them home. Tao ends up giving Tan Xin a piggy back ride and they end up sleeping at Tao's place, which slowly builds Tao and their relationship together. Later on though, Tan Xin learns that both Games and Kelly have died, with someone leaving their body parts all over the place. While going home, Tan Xin walks in on Tao and the lady from before hugging. Tan Xin runs off, devastated, but Tao runs after them, reassuring them and talking to them about how much they mean to him.

In the good ending, Tao and Tan Xin end up living together as a couple, but Tao ends up suggesting that the two of them move after learning about Kelly and Jame's death as he wants them to be safe from the serial killer.

In the normal (?) ending, Tan Xin notices a strange smell in Tao's place and looks around, only to find the lady amputated and dying. They try to help her, but Tao ends up knocking them out, only to wake up to having lost limbs just like the other lady.

In the bad ending, Tao ends up knocking Tan Xin out after the talk at the end and wakes up to Tao cutting off their arm. He mentions that now that they've lost an arm, they can be with him, unlike another girl that he seemed to be projecting onto them.

If Tan Xin goes back to their room and wakes up much later, they will end up meeting Hu, a college student that is working at tech, though he wishes to do something else. Hu apologizes for making noise and talks about his hobbies about pictures, and later offers to buy them lunch in response to them making noise. They end up going to eat at the same place that Li goes in his route and the two of them get a parfait. We find out that Li and Hu are actually brothers, catching the two talking to each other in the hallway. While at work, Tan Xin has to make James a coffee, which ends up with James eating glass and bleeding to death. Hu ends up following Tan Xin around, taking pictures of them while they sleep.

The two endings that are a bit similar are Hu and Tan Xin meeting under the cherry blossoms (after hiking for a bit, I believe), though in one ending if their affection is lower, Tan Xin will tell him that he doesn't want to have a relationship with him, while the other they simply just hike together.

In the bad ending, Tan Xin and Li talk for a bit, but Hu ends up catching them and kidnapping him. He ends up chaining them when they go out for classes, feeding them sweets to sustain them.

This game has a bit of spelling errors, but other than that it's a pretty good start. While I do think that I currently like Pocket Boyfriend a bit more since it has more elements of horror, I do think that Li himself has some good potential as a yandere. I think it's pretty neat seeing Li slowly cause Tan Xin to drift deeper and deeper into sleep as well as steal Tab Xin's molar (which is... a weird thing to steal and shrug off to be honest). We also see that he's pretty jealous, not only killing Kelly but also beating up our other neighbor for being too loud. It's very likely a lot of his "computer" hobbies are more of a cover up, considering how he reacts when Tan Xin asks to help carry boxes for him. It makes me wonder if he will get rid of James as well if Tan Xin asks him too considering that he is the source of a lot of the Tan Xin's problems. It's weird to me that there's a "bad ending" where Li doesn't see Tan Xin as someone datable and yet still tasers them in the end. It's actually comedic in a strange way, and it makes me wonder when Li started falling for Tan Xin in the first place.

Tao I feel like I have mixed feelings of as well, considering that he is a playboy but he also cries a lot. I generally am not as big of a fan of playboy characters in games, but I do really like crying. This is such a pain. In any case, Tao seems to be a projecting yandere, where he is trying to replace Tan Xin with another girl (as I remember), though we don't actually get to see who she is or what she even looks like. He also murders both James and Kelly, presumably for getting too close to the MC as well as the lady he was seeing at first. Still I don't really understand or know why he ended up meeting her again near the end since it's not really explained what they were doing together, which kind of put me off with his character. Still having a playboy type yandere is a pretty bold move regardless, so I think that it does deserve some props. Really wish we knew about his previous obsession though since I think it would really shine more into his backstory.

Hu despite being the youngest and most harmless of the yanderes actually probably has the worst ending out of all of them considering he basically kidnaps and keeps them in his studio. I do like the description on how Tan Xin struggles when they are captured by Hu though since you can really feel the hopelessness of it. I think it's also cool that Hu mimics a lot of things from Li's route since they both go to the same sweets shop and both stalk Tan Xin for a bit, though in different ways. It makes a lot more sense when you know that the two of them are brothers and that Li is actually helping Hu with getting along with Tan Xin. I think it adds a bit more of a layer to it considering that we kind of understand where Hu is getting a lot of his advice from. I think for that reason, I quite like Hu's route.

I played this first when it originally was just Li's route, so some of the opinions here might be a bit dated. I think that it's impressive they were able to finish a game with three different yandere love interests, since that's not a common thing nowadays, with all the demos. Still I think while it is great that it's a finished game with multiple routes, there could be some polishing done as well. I feel like since Li's was the first route made, he's actually one of the more weaker writing characters, where I feel like Hu is probably one of the better ones because he's more recent, so if the creator ever goes back to rewrite the other routes, I think that Li's route could probably be more expanded on. I also think that Tan Xin's name is kind of funny because it basically means like greedy in Chinese (assuming I'm using the right characters), which kind of is how you can view them considering they have like three yanderes after them. Kelly is the best character though, she stays by our side through thick and thin.

Overall, not bad for a full game, especially since it had a bit of development time. It's often rare to see a full game for yanderes now a days since currently most of them are currently in a demo state. I am curious to see if this creator will make anymore yandere games in the future that I'd like to cover.

#Pretty Boy Panic #male yandere #yandere #yandere boy #recommendations #visual novel #completed

35 notes · View notes

writingattemptsxx · 2 days

Text

A Small Gift

To get the brothers to let you go to the human world to do some exchange program work, you promised them gifts.

—

This took way too long to write. I'm just glad it's done. I thought some fluff would be nice.

—

A month-long visit to the human world took you away from the brothers. At first, they didn’t like the idea. Some used the excuse of not wanting you to be somewhere without supervision. Some were honest that they didn’t want to be away from you. Luckily with assurance that you would be fine, as well as a bribe of gifts on your return, they relented. You went out and gathered a gift for each brother, hoping they’d love it. You even bought a few gift bags. You did hope they liked it, but you more hoped they’d be less trouble on future trips.

Lucifer - A snow globe - Lucifer’s gift was the first one you found. You went into a gift shop, saw it, and it screamed ‘Lucifer’. Why? Who knows!

Mammon - A key chain - Mammon is usually one of, if not the first to complain about not being with you. Now he can have this with him at all times. Also, it's shiny.

Leviathan - A pack of pencils - You went into a stationary store realizing you were missing something, and they just happened to have a pack of pencils themed around an anime he likes, so you grabbed those too.

Satan - A bookmark - In the stationary store where you found Levi’s gift, there was another thing that caught your eye. There was a small bookmark with cat faces all over it and a fold-out bit to save your specific line.

Asmo - A makeup brush set - Another gift you were actively searching for, and it was pure pink, his favorite color. What’s not to love? It may not be those expensive ones he always buys, but it definitely wasn't cheap.

Beelzebub - A water bottle - Your first thought for him was food, obviously, but you didn't want something the Avatar of Gluttony would scarf down in two seconds. Plus with a water bottle, he can bring it to the gym and his practices.

Belphegor - A blanket - A perfect gift for Belphie. Knowing him, he'd keep it in good condition for centuries. It may only be a blanket, and on the cheaper side at that, but it was comfy.

While you were on your trip you hoped to relax at home, but you forgot something. Something you remembered the second the door opened. There was no relaxing in the House of Lamentation. Ever.

It was very obvious that they were all ecstatic to see you again, but you could tell at least a part of each of them wanted to know their gifts. What did you get them? Where were they? When do they get them? They were way too easy to read.

You told everyone to buzz off while you at least got unpacked. You needed to relax, not be mobbed. You'd give them their gift later, once you settled back in. As you watched each go on and do their own thing, you couldn't help but hope they liked their gift.

—

Lucifer was doing his typical work. Sitting at his desk behind mountains of paper wasn't new, but it still was not the best experience. He saw the door slowly open and started to wonder which brother wanted to get in the way of his work, but instead, you came through the door. You tried your best to be as quiet as possible when coming in and closing the door, which Lucifer greatly appreciated.

Once the door clicked you turned to him beaming. “Luci, I got this for you!” You held up a decently sized blue gift bag, careful to not shake.

“Your gift for me? I was wondering when I'd finally receive it. I hope it’s something I like, you should know me well enough by now.” A smirk appeared as his words poked at you.

Your face changed into a pout and you stuck your tongue out at Lucifer. A bold move, no matter how close you became. You dramatically sighed and put the back of your hand to your forehead, something you no doubt learned from Asmodeus. “I got you this out of the kindness of my heart. You can't be picky about this.” You walked forward and gently placed the bag on his desk.

“We both know it was a bribe so my brothers would let you out of the house.” He, himself, argued against you leaving but now didn't seem like the time to bring that up. “Also teasing you is too fun to stop.”

Lucifer pulled the bag closer and carefully removed some crumpled paper you stuffed in the bag. He reached in and pulled out… “A snow globe?” It seemed like an odd choice gift for him. Granted, it was very pretty. It was a single, yet very detailed tree sitting in the middle of a white plain with the snow of the snow globe also inside. The base was a vibrant admiral blue.

He looked up to you for answers, but you only shrugged in response. “It’s just something I saw that reminded me of you. Don't ask me why.”

Lucifer was silent for a moment only to change into quiet giggles. “Thank you. I love it.”

—

Mammon was pacing his room. You just came home after so long and he had to leave you alone for even longer. He is happy you get to relax, even in this house, but he just wants to hug you before leaving you be again.

Suddenly he heard the door open and whipped his head around to see you. Not only that, you were holding a very small yellow gift bag. Both his eyes and voice lit up seeing you. “Human!” He cleared his throat. “What took you so long?”

“I had to get your gift ready. That is, unless you don't want it.” You held up the bag and gave it a small shake all the while showing a teasing smirk.

The next thing you knew the bag was missing from your hands and found in Mammon’s. “Nah, Nah. The Great Mammon always deserves gifts.” He dug through the crumpled paper and pulled out a small keychain. It was very small, just a shiny gold keychain with a dangling star. He couldn't tell why, but he felt so light seeing it. He just stared at it for what felt like forever.

Suddenly your voice cut through his thoughts. “So… you like it?”

“This gift is definitely worthy of The Great Mammon.”

—

Levi was shockingly out of his room. He was going to go on an anime binge in a bit, so now he was stocking up on snacks. Chips, snack bars, bag popcorn, and anything he could get his hands on that wouldn’t spoil.

“There you are! I thought you’d be in your room as always.” Your voice was quiet but came very suddenly, and it took everything in him to not jump.

He turned around to see you holding up a pretty small orange gift bag as you looked around. You dropped the bag in his hands. Levi stared at it for a few seconds before looking back up at you. “A gift? Also, what's with the house inspections?” He pointed in the directions you were looking between.

“Yes, I said I'd get you all gifts, didn't I? And because I’m not willing to hear the wining of any brother upset they didn't get theirs first.”

Levi shrugged. He wouldn't put it past any of his brothers to take not getting a gift first as something to get upset over. He wouldn't even put it past himself to do that. “Yeah, they totally would. But the gift was a very obvious bribe. I didn't expect you to mean it. I thought you'd at least forget or something, or at least not give me something.”

“Of course, I'd get you something. Now come on, open it.” You were all but bouncing on your toes while staring at him and the bag. He dug through the crumpled paper in the bag to pull out a pack of pencils. Seemed like an odd choice for him, maybe something closer to something for Satan or Lucifer. It was only until he noticed the pencils were patterned with characters from an anime he loved.

His eyes lit up and just barely held in an excited squee. Any merch is welcome merch. Levi shot up and pulled you into a hug. “Thank you!”

—

Satan was reading in the living room. He was reading a book he’d read many times before. He intended to read the book he bought a few days ago, but after starting it he realized his mind kept drifting to you. He was curious how you were, and he wanted to check up on you, but he knew you needed some time to relax before interacting with him or his brothers again.

He started to hear steps that got louder and louder. Eventually, you appeared as the source looking around corners before you turned them. Satan also noticed an extremely small green gift bag in your hand. You held it to your chest as you quickly walked towards him.

“What with the secrecy?” Satan put down his book to give you an amused stare.

You dropped the gift bag on his lap. “Your brothers. That's what. If any of them, even one, learned that I gave one a present before another, I'd never heard the end of it.”

That was completely true for almost everyone in this house. He just let out a sigh and decided to move on. Carefully rifling through the crumpled paper he pulled out a long bookmark. The bookmark was a dark fern-green and littered with cat faces of all colors. There was also a long plastic connection, and on the packaging, it explained that it was meant to save your specific line.

It was just adorable and all the cats making different smiles made his heart melt. Satan held it to his heart and gave you a big smile. “Thank you. I appreciate it.”

—

Asmo was looking his face over in the mirror. He wanted to go out today. But for that, he needed the perfect look that would be perfect in completing his looks. But for that, he needed inspiration. Truth be told, he could go out with no makeup at all, he was already gorgeous, but putting it on was fun.

While he was mulling over his choices, he heard his door slam closed. He turned around, immediately turning into his demon form, ready for a fight.

Instead of seeing an intruder or even one of his brothers, he saw you muttering to yourself about how you didn't mean to be that loud, and that you even scared yourself. He clutched his chest, transformed back, and slumped back down onto his vanity chair.

“Darling, you gave me a heart attack. I thought you were an intruder or similar. My skin will not like this stress.”

You bolted around at his words, as if shocked to see him in his own room. “Sorry! Sorry. I just wanted to close it fast, not slam it. On another note, I got you this.” You held up a small pink gift bag, giving Asmo a big smile.

The gift! He didn't forget about it, how could he forget about a gift for him, but he did push it to the back of his mind to focus on other things. He rushed right up to you, enveloping you in a tight hug. He let go and took you over to his vanity. He gently took the present from your hands. He removed the crumpled paper, dropping it into the trashcan.

At the bottom of the bag was a small set of a few pastel pink makeup brushes and a blender. It was small, but it seemed of good quality. The thought put into the gift melted his heart. Gently setting the brush set down, Asmo pulled you into another tight hug. “Thank you! Also, you just gave me the perfect inspiration for a new makeup look!”

—

Beelzebub was working out in his room. All he had were a few handheld weights. He wanted to go to the gym, but he couldn't find any will to actually go. He wanted more to make sure you settled back in as well as possible.

He was mid-routine when you quickly opened his door, stepped through, and closed it, careful not to slam.

“Hey Beel, got you something.” You quickly walked over to him and placed a pretty big red gift bag in his hands. Inside it was stuffed full of crumpled paper. He dug around for only a second before his hand touched hard plastic and he pulled it up. It was a giant red gallon water bottle. The plastic was translucent, there were measurements on the side, and the side was even carved out to make a handle.

“I thought you could bring it to the gym or practi-” Before you could finish, Beel pulled you into a massive bear hug that lifted you off the ground.

“Thank you! I love it!” He gave you one of the biggest smiles he could.

—

Belphie was sleeping as usual. He was in the observatory. All the stars were calming and the room was usually silent and dark. It was his perfect nap spot. Well, it was until about a minute ago when someone started shaking him awake. “Belphie. Belphie. Wake up I got something for you.”

He let out a groan and grabbed the hand you decided to disturb him with. “Can’t it wait? Just put it down next to me or something. I'll pick it up when I get up.” Belphie rolled onto his back and fell back asleep within seconds, but he only slept just as quickly as a big gift bag was roughly placed on his stomach.

“Rude.” He opened his eyes to see a really big purple gift bag and pulled it down so the top faced him instead of getting up. He slowly dug out all of the crumpled paper, dropping it on the floor to deal with later.

After a few seconds, he pulled out a folded blanket. It was a cow pattern, similar to his favorite pillow, and it was super fluffy and soft. Just touching it made him sleepy.

“Like it?” Belphie just looked at you for a few seconds, contemplating if he should pull you into his nap. Eventually, he decided and tugged you down next to him, covering you both with his new blanket, and drifted back to sleep in another few seconds.

—

Lucifer’s snow globe was kept either on his desk or on a shelf. He found comfort in even just staring at it, but every now and then he shook it to see the snowfall.

Mammon’s keychain was a permanent fixture on his phone. He took it everywhere and showed it off at any chance he could.

Levi kept his pencils in package with his other merch, not wanting to ruin them, but they were always near the front of any display he made.

Satan used his bookmark for any book he could. He adored it and kept it as pristine as possible.

Asmo started using his new brushes almost instantly. Even if they were not the fancy brands he typically uses, they worked just as well. The fact it was from you also helped inspire some looks.

Beel took his water bottle practically wherever he went. When anyone pointed it out or asked questions, he'd happily gush about his new gift.

Belphie’s new blanket became his favorite one. Even just touching the fuzziness made him cozy and tired. He did everything in his power to keep as soft as the day he got it.

#writing blog #writing #obey me #finished #fluff #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me belphegor #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub

30 notes · View notes

kuubiubiyang · 3 days

Text

YAAAY, my pawssss finally got around to finishing it~

i did it a long time ago, but i only finished it today^^

im sorry in advance for any mistakes, if any :')

«____________•NOVAKREIS•____________»

Novakreis is Nemesis mechanic. Alt form: modified(?) fighter plane. Previously served as a seeker under Starscream's command, Novakreis was seriously wounded by shrapnel from a homing projectile in his first battle, rendering him unable to fight effectively.

«__________•appearance??•__________»

«______________•lmao•______________»

«______•a couple more things•______»

Thanks to his predisposition to engineering and good technical memory, he was able to remain on Nemesis as a mechanic of the ship’s internal systems. Novakreis himself outwardly takes his situation calmly, sometimes complaining about the unnecessarily slow and painful transformation. But in fact, the con regrets that at the time of the battle he did not react quickly enough and came under fire from his faction.

Novakreis has no built-in weapons - the original connectors for blasters were damaged and are now inactive, and he was denied a personal weapon due to the lack of need for them aboard the Nemesis (no, he just didn't learn how to use it properly, lol... he hurts himself more easily than anyone else).

Novakreis is capable of performing delicate repair work - for a better result, he files his claws, reducing the area of contact with the parts being repaired for the sake of jewelry work on them. Filing the claws is an unpleasant, slightly painful procedure, after which it is necessary to treat the claws with anti-corrosion oil to prevent rust.

By nature, Novakreis is choleric, purposeful and uncontrollable, expressive. He easily finds a common language with the colleagues, developing an individual approach to each cons. Sometimes he is too harsh with his superiors, causing problems for himself, but almost always gets away with it thanks to his positive reputation. The only Decepticon Novakreis avoids is Megatron.

Despite his talent for mechanics, he sometimes gets the job done wrong if something more interesting is on the horizon. Due to such conditions, Nemesis spare parts supplies are slightly lost.

While working in the repair bay, Novakreis had plenty of time to rethink his position in life. He is not a radical Decepticon, but still treats transformers of other factions with prejudice and suspicion. In an unfamiliar environment, Novakreis... is somewhat paranoid, so don't worry if you find a wiretapped bug on you - this is purely for self-defense ;>.

«________•INTERESTING FACTS•________»

•Novakreis is slightly taller than Starscream, but shorter than Megatron.

•Sometimes, while offline, Novakreis has nightmares about his execution on Cybertron.

•Novakreis hates being addressed as "Nova". "Novakreis" is better, or "Kreis" as a last resort. For the nicknames "Novi"or "Kri" or "Novakri" Novakreis is quite capable of hitting something heavy...

•Novakreis was never on Cybertron, his protoform was activated at the height of the last war between the Autobots and Decepticons - on Nemesis, in outer space. During the time when the Decepticons were expelled from Cybertron, several protoforms fell into their servos.

•Novakreis often neglects his health (and the integrity of his hull) if he gets too carried away with his work.

•Novakreis is not afraid to directly criticize the actions and decisions of superior Decepticons - but only in his thoughts and, preferably, not in their presence.

•Due to injury, some of Novakreis's mechanisms require constant calibration - in particular, his optics. Due to the small and painstaking work, the focusing of his vision quickly becomes upset, but, due to altruism (or stupidity), the con will not engage in calibration until it is absolutely necessary.

•The sound receivers, by the way, were not damaged; Novakreis hears better than many in his circle.

«______________•that's all•_______________»

if you've read this, then i give you all my gratitude and a kiss on the forehead, if you don't mind~~~

#art #oc #oc art #アート #絵画 #original character #tfa #transformers animated #tfa oc #transformers #tf animated #desepcion #tfa ocs

50 notes · View notes

lost-technology · 21 hours

Text

Slowly re-reading / savoring the manga. My thoughts around the end of Trigun Maximum 2... So, Vashwood shippers, we need to talk. Well, every fanficcer really, but especially you... Why do I see so few fanfics covering Wolfwood's FEAR of Vash? All of the early volumes of manga, Wolfwood is seeing WEIRD PLANT THINGS. He was witness to the Fifth Moon incident. He sees Vash's healing capabilities in Trigun Maximum 1 and through 1 and 2, sees Vash's general endurance (the one time he got exhausted and sick and wrecked the bike notwithstanding). He saw Vash STILL IN THAT CONDITION sticking his neck out for others, just reckless with his own life and it scares him. He gets hints at Vash's general immortality and wonders if he is unkillable. He wonders at how much he is like his brother. Underneath the guidance and dare we say... growing friendship, there is this underlying terror. At least, that's what I feel from reading the manga. And it makes me feel like... mangaverse Vashwood shippers... unless you're ignoring canon and just writing something self-indulgent or you're writing a post-series AU, or at least a late-series thing, I feel like "No way they're bumping and grinding right away." And if they are? Any note on Wolfwood's wondering just what he's gotten himself into and just what he is romancing? Same with Vashmeryl in the manga... the sharing of PTSD stuff, the terror she has. She's gotta overcome her fear of Vash after that, which happens in the manga... I just feel "this is not a romance manga" and anything shippy is really self-indulgent on the fans. Which is OKAY, but... I don't know, I just don't see it when people insist on any of it being canon and it sort of baffles me at the amount of shipping this fandom has (okay, so it really doesn't because all fandoms have shipping... but, it's like, when a friend and I do shipping roleplays for Fire Emblem: Awakening, that makes a lot of actual sense because half that game is a shipping sim. It's Character Horny-Chess)! Not an anti-post, just me casually wondering, after going to the fanfiction section of Ao3 at how quickly and readily some of the shipping stuff is, even in non-ship centric fics when I go and read the manga and read "Wow, even Vash's friends are scared of him, at least a little bit, if not a lot." Poor guy.

#trigun #shipping #trigun maximum #shadsie's useless opinions #I mostly read short fanfics #so maybe that's my problem #I'd really like to see more shipping fics in this fandom that address the Fear of the Other #art too #lots of monster-loving in this fandom #less instinctual monster-fearing and overcoming the fear #which I would find a more interesting angle in fanworks personally

26 notes · View notes

snow-lavender · 16 hours

Text

now that we're a week out from the finale, i'm feeling settled enough to make my sappy post. TL;DR is: fable has been incredibly important to me, and i think it's a story that's important to have out there. to the community and cast, you've made something beautiful and helped me more than you could know.

so here we go-

i started watching fable in the summer of 2022, to kill time in between summer courses (and thank fuck for that, cause my brain desperately needed to have some fun after 5 hours a day of doing psych stats by hand.) i was originally pulled in by vo'lete, as dissecting a conlang is really fun to me. it became basically the only media i consumed, as 2022/2023 was the fourth year of my BA and i was crazy busy. and then the characters pulled me in further with their earnestness and their devotion to redemption and compassion.

i think one of the theses of fable is "people always deserve happiness. doing awful things doesn't erase your ability to change." and i think the simplicity and love of that take hit really close to home. in the era of modern fandom where bad actors try to make everything black and white, it's an important point to make.

i started making shitposts on tumblr, started enaging with stories from an analysis standpoint again, and found a lot of joy in the community here. i don't have the words for what that means to me, so i'll just default to you guys are great <3

then mid-august happened

those of you who frequent rin's streams might have caught bits and pieces of this, but basically, i had a fall and my knee became royally fucked beyond belief. it can only be fixed with a surgery that's not very common. the pain was (and still is) debilitating to the point that i had to drop out of my second degree, and couldn't walk more than like, a block every few days. my life, my dreams, my future all got put on hold. i was in a new city with no supports, no friends, and no way to leave my apartment. fable went from the only media i consumed to the only thing i did, period.

the fandom became the only people i talked to regularly, other than my family, as online relationships were the only ones possible to maintain. in fableblr and in rin's chat i've found people who i really click with, people whose company i enjoy and who enjoy mine. when i was lying in bed, feeling so alone and less than human, having people on the internet go "i know who you are and you are making an impact," quite frankly, kept me sane. i know i don't talk to people super often, but know that seeing you in my notifs brings me so much joy, and i'd love to talk to you more.

to assuage any worries- i'm doing a bit better now. i've moved back in with my parents so i have human contact and people who can make up for the things i can't do. i have a new doctor who is taking the severity of my condition very seriously and is fighting to get me treated asap. i'll be okay.

so yeah. fable has been super important to me, and will remain so! for me it's a story with so much joy and deep feelings and rediscovery of passions and just. fun. it's been so much fun. and i'm not letting go of that fun any time soon. i'm gonna keep making and watching and enjoying.

to sage, corn, and cob- you guys are great, i cherish every time we get to talk. i hope that it's okay that i count you among my friends

to my other mutuals and people who are here frequently- recognizing you in my notes is such a joy and i hope to get to know you better. y'all are cool and i'm glad you think i'm funny

to rin- thank you for nurturing your little community and creating a space where i have so much fun. also thank you for putting up with my constant setting off of automod

to beck- thank you for making a story that explores sisterhood in all its ugliness and beauty, that shows how even families full of love can fuck up, that holds space for loneliness and loss and joy and fear and new beginnings

to the rest of the cast- thank you for making a story with so many varied and yet connected points, characters and world. with so much love in it. you've truly done something special here and its impact will not be forgotten

to all of you- thank you for knowing my name. thank you for breathing life and joy into these stories. i can't wait to see what else we make. <3

#fable smp #just a heads up this does get into slightly venty territory so. yeah.

33 notes · View notes

quitealotofsodapop · 21 hours

Note

So in Post Jttw... what if it was Macaque who got possessed by LBD? The consequences of Macaque's actions, so to speak, being that when the Samhadi Fire goes wrong (as it's bound to with the Mayor), Macaque tries one last desperate ploy to protect bis family by doing the exact same thing Wukong had done in canon. I also imagine Wukong might not have known about Mei's Ring of Samhadi because, well, presumably, the entirety of heaven knew of his condition when the ritual took place... so instead of Wukong being there, Macaque had taken his place because no way in hell was Nez Ha letting his pregnant brother (altho he wouldn't have admitted it at such a time) near such a dangerous ritual. Macaque was the one who slipped up, he was distracted by the distant sound of Wukong collapsing from the strain of his egg, the Egg was reacting to the primordial energy even far enough away to be out of range!

And Wukong still ends up having to fight Macaque, because if Macaque is Wukong's equal on battle than no way could Nez Ha fight against him and win and Wikong would be the only one capable of fighting Macaque. He only pauses long enough to return to FFM for his armor, not wanting to risk the baby. Luckily, he isn't heavily pregnant, but it's still noticeable enough and late enough that some caution is necessary. Nobody likes this at all, but MK gets his stubbornness from somewhere, and it certainly isn't his dad.

Ohohohoho!

Flip the script!

Macaque feeling like he's failed Wukong and his cubs so much that he ends up being the one to try and confront LBD directly when Mei's Ring of Samadhi is activated.

Macaque could not protect Ao Lie all those centuries ago because he was distracted by his mate's pained cries - the Egg sensing a terrible power, still tried to absorb it despite being some distance away. Part of this "screw-up" is why Macaque feels that he needs to disappear and find a way to destroy LBD for good; he feels that Wukong is safer when Macaque isn't there to "ruin" things.

And of course Macaque refuses to harm the little girl LBD has hostage as her host.

The Lady Bone Demon takes her champion.

Nezha and the Eclipse Twins end up being the ones to capture and interrogate the Mayor. The Mayor gets a solid punch to the face from MK himself, too frustrated and angry to hold himself back. The thrall laughs manically as the heroes call up the Underworld to collect him.

Wukong and Macaque are forced to fight each other head-on for the first time in centuries. A terrifying reminder of how they fought before Macaque realised that his mate was carrying an Egg.

Wukong manages to break Macaque's possession with one simple action - placing his mate's hand on his stomach. The six ears of the shadow monkey twitching as it focuses on heartbeats within. Almost how it happened back during the Journey.

The blue glow in Macaque's eyes quickly fade, his face blooming into a smile that falls into a guilt frown - how could he have hurt his mate this way?! After all he did to protect him and their cubs! The married monkeys hug and smooch as they make up entirely.

The Lady Bone Demon is left confused and de-powered enough for the rest of the family/troupe to get the drop on her.

#post jttw stone egged au #jttw stone egged au #six eared macaque #liu er mihou #sun wukong #shadowpeach #pregnancy mention tw #lmk lady bone demon #lmk lbd #lmk aus #lego monkie kid #lmk

20 notes · View notes

kaida-beifong · 3 days

Text

What's the point of you?

Lucius is use to forward questions, he really is. It's hell after all but there is one question that tends to bother him more then others. ------ Alastor: Well if it isn't our favorite little Prince, finally finished cleaning up your mess? Lucius: One, I am taller then you and two.. Piss off. Alastor: My oh my someone's in a wonderful mood today. What's the matter, did your little beau dump you, maybe find out about her little bastard. Lucius: Go do something productive with your time instead of bugging me Coatrack. Alastor: Actually I have a question, that's why I came to you. Lucius: I'm tempted to tell you to trot off elsewhere. Alastor: I suppose I could just go bother Charlie with my question if you're too grumpy, I'm sure she'd still be willing to make time for her favorite manager, even with her condition bein- Lucius: *growls* Okay, what the fuck do you want?! Alastor: Tsk tsk, so hostile. If you're going to be so moody maybe I should go ask Charlie- Lucius: Just ask your question Alastor. Alastor: What's your purpose? Lucius: ..Excuse me? Alastor: Your purpose, what's the point of you. I mean most don't openly choose to have twins right, and if Charlie married another royal, what would become of you. It kinda makes some sense that she has another woman partner, so I assumed that hey, at least the prince will be useful should she ever need an heir. Seeing as magic was an option all along, I'm now wondering.. What is your purpose. Why do you exist. Lucius: Twins aren't usually planned for one, but why don't you figure it out yourself, not that it's your business anyway. Alastor: It's okay that you don't know, not everyone can know everything. Just makes you kinda useless really. I mean why did they even pick Charlie to take over. Why not you, it just feels like you we're more of donor. If not to create a future heir then maybe some kinda limb or organ donor. Seriously what is the point of you. Lucius: Are you trying to anger me. Alastor: Depends, is it working? Lucius: Fuck off. Alastor: Aww, did I hurt your feelings or do you genuinely not know. Lucius: It's not your business there's your answer. Alastor: So you don't know.. How long has that question plagued your thoughts. Hmm, makes me wonder if you have a place at all- Lucus: You ever think I might be an advisor, a guard or anything along those lines. Alastor: ..No. Cause Vaggie is practically Charlie's little guard on top of helping this place and well let's be fair. Charlie doesn't follow anyone's advice but her own.. And maybe Vaggie's if the idea falls into her own. So no, it doesn't sound like you have much of a purpose in that regard either. Lucius: Fine whatever, think what you want. Alastor: So you don't know either, how interesting. Lucius: I just want you to leave me alone. Is that a lot to ask of the oh so mighty powerful radio demon. To just leave me be. Fuck off somewhere. Alastor: Fine. Seems like you don't know anything more then I do. Must really suck to know you don't stand anywh- Lucius: *Growls* I SAID FUCK OFF! Alastor: Very well.. Lucius: ..Annoying fucking coatrack. I need to go somewhere, blow off steam. ------ Charlie: *Sighs* Vaggie: What's wrong babe? Charlie: Lucius is going to Bee's. Vaggie: Gluttony District, why? Charlie: Didn't say but he only goes there when he's not in a good headspace. Vaggie: I'm sure he'll be fine. Don't over think it, he's probably just stressed with this whole baby thing and still trying to figure out how to talk to Clara. He'll perk up eventually. Charlie: I hope so..

#hotel hazbin #hazbin hotel #hazbinhotel #hazbin #hazbin alastor #alastor #hazbin hotel alastor #charlie morningstar #charlie x vaggie #vaggie x charlie #charlie hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel charlie #Hazbin Hotel Charlie Morningstar #hazbin hotel vaggie #vaggie hazbin hotel #hazbin vaggie #vaggie #fan character #Fan Oc

20 notes · View notes

beefromanoff · 3 days

Text

Project Mockingbird Ch. 20

summary: the mission, the safe house, the extracurriculars that follow.

pairing: Bucky Barnes x OC

author's note: HAHAHAHA GUYS I fully did not intend for the story to go there today, but here we are. enjoy ;) LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!

tag list: @bangtanxberm @scott-loki-barnes @kayhi808 @charmedbysarge @cjand10 @capswife

(let me know if you want to be added <3)

chapter list

I padded out of the bathroom in my trusty pajamas, the soft cotton ones that I had packed specifically for "casual, inconspicuous, asexual lounging," as Natasha had put it. I ignored the barely-there lace set she’d somehow snuck into my suitcase when I wasn’t looking. Bucky was tossing a thin blanket onto the couch, trying to make it look suitable to sleep on. It looked about as comfortable as a slab of concrete, one of those pieces of furniture that’s clearly for fashion rather than function. Especially considering his size, there was no world in which he’d get a good nights’ sleep on that thing.

"Do you have something against comfort, Barnes?" I quipped as I leaned against the doorframe, watching him attempt to make the blanket fit across the length of the couch.

He glanced up, eyes flicking down over my pajamas, making me keenly aware of my lack of bra. "Just figured I’d be a gentleman, that’s all."

I crossed my arms, my eyebrow arching in amusement. "Come on, there’s a perfectly good bed here. And it's big enough for, like, three of me. Or two of you."

Bucky stood up, hesitating for a fraction of a second. "You sure? I’ve slept in worse ––"

"I’m sure. Besides," I continued, walking over to the king-sized bed and patting the mattress, "if one of us has a nightmare, the other can play the hero. You know, wake the other up before it gets too bad?"

"That’s... actually not a bad idea," Bucky conceded, though he still looked as if he were mentally measuring the distance between the couch and the bed.

The silence stretched for a moment before he finally picked up his pillow and made his way to the other side of the bed. "If you start stealing the blankets, though, I’m building a fort."

"I solemnly swear to keep my blanket thievery to a minimum," I said, my tone mockingly serious as I climbed into bed next to him.

We both settled under the covers, maintaining a respectful, almost comical distance between us. I lay on my side, facing away from Bucky, my eyes staring at the wall as if it might suddenly become interesting. All I could think about was the weight of his body on the mattress, pulling me towards him. The warmth of him. The way I could just roll over, touch him…

The room was silent, save for the soft hum of the air conditioning and our synchronized breathing. Every once in a while, I could hear Bucky shifting, as if he were also wrestling with the awkwardness of the situation. We’d agreed on a cool 66 degrees for the room, both of us embracing the likelihood that we’d wake up from a nightmare, panicked and sweaty. A cool room was a small comfort, an easy thing to agree on. At this moment, it served to keep us both from getting too warm in our full pajamas. My full length set had felt nice after a shower, but now, under the covers, it felt cumbersome. Like I was wearing too much clothing. I wondered if Bucky felt the same in his sweatpants and t-shirt. My normal sleep attire was a tank top and underwear, far less than I was currently wearing. What did he sleep in? A faded shirt and boxers? Boxers alone? I propped myself up on my elbows, reaching for the glass of water on my nightstand, clearing the thought from my head as my cheeks flushed.

"Hey, Char?" His voice was soft in the darkness.

"Yeah?"

"If this were an actual date, I'd have said some smooth line about how you like your eggs in the morning.”

I chuckled, the sound muffled by my pillow. "Lucky for you, we’re just two spies in a bed. No lines necessary."

The tension seemed to ease a bit, and slowly, the space between us felt less like a wall we couldn’t cross. As sleep eventually claimed us, it was in a quiet understanding that for the first time in weeks, we weren't going to be alone with our nightmares.

And miraculously, neither of us had one.

When morning light spilled into the room, gently pulling me from the depths of an unprecedented peaceful sleep, I realized something had shifted—not just in the bed (which they had, by the way. I’d never seen such a violent sleeper, covers kicked off of his legs and one pillow on the ground), but perhaps in the silent agreement that we were in this mess together. I rolled over to face Bucky, whose eyes were already open, a trace of a smile on his lips.

"Morning," he said, the word simple, but not without warmth.

"Morning," I replied, feeling a surprising flicker of something like anticipation for the day ahead.

“Coffee?” his voice was gruff, tired. Sexy?

“Coffee.”

“I’ll call room service.”

“Suddenly I’m remembering why I married you.”

______

Under the blazing sun, Charlotte lounged in the cabana, her gaze fixed on the two men seated at a table by the poolside bar. The earpiece nestled in her ear crackled to life as Bucky's voice filled her senses. Today was the day that the sale was supposed to take place. Sure enough, their buyer and seller were exactly where they’d predicted. Bucky, not exactly able to lounge at the pool without exposing his metal arm and therefore, his identity, was watching from the roof of a nearby villa. High enough that no one would be able to see him, but close enough that he had a perfect view of Charlotte.

Charlotte in that thin, stringy black bikini. Charlotte, laying back against the chair, propped up in a way that had the muscles in her stomach taut. Charlotte, the one who’s heartbeat he’d fallen asleep listening to last night. He shook his head, pressing a hand to his earpiece.

"Alright, Char, what's the plan?" His tone was serious, willing himself to switch to mission mode.

Charlotte smirked, adjusting her sunglasses as she replied, "Just sit tight, Tin Man. I've got this under control."

Bucky huffed a laugh, the sound tinged with a hint of exasperation. "Just don't get…distracted," he narrowed his eyes as a particularly confident set of men in Speedos walked in front of her.

Rolling her eyes, Charlotte scanned the scene before her, noting the men's movements. "Something tells me I’m not their type," she flipped a page on the magazine she was pretending to read, eyes still locked on their targets.

As one of the men pulled out a thumb drive, Bucky's voice grew more urgent. "They've got the goods. What's the play, Char?"

Charlotte's eyes narrowed, her mind racing as she formulated a plan. "Let me work my magic," she replied, a mischievous glint in her eye. “You got the camera ready?”

“Yes…” His skepticism was evident, but he tugged the small drone from his backpack. Flipping it on, he felt it rise from his hand with a near-silent whir, soaring down to a vantage point above the pool. It was one of Stark’s newer inventions, equipped with the same stealth mode features as the Quinjets. Even in direct sunlight like today, it was completely invisible to the naked eye, making it perfect to transmit the video footage in real time.

Bucky watched the scene below unfold. Both men leaned in over the table, clearly deep in conversation. One of them slid a small device, the zip drive, across the table. The other picked it up, examining it, before reaching into his jacket pocket and pulling out a thick envelope. Rounding the edge of the pool, Charlotte padded barefoot across the patio. She’d tied a sheer scarf around her hips, doing little to hide the skimpy swimsuit beneath. A sorry excuse for a cover-up, but one he couldn’t bring himself to look away from. She approached the men with calculated confidence, her smile coy. Holding eye contact with the buyer for just a fraction longer than normal politeness, she strode right by them and up to the bar. Leaning her elbows on the surface, she stuck her hips out ever so slightly. Both men clocked it, heads turned towards her backside.

She could feel their gazes like a physical touch, exactly as she'd intended. Keeping her expression casual, she signaled the bartender. “Mojito, please,” she requested, her voice a melodic purr that carried just enough to ensure the men behind her could hear.

The bartender nodded, setting to work. As he did, Charlotte cast a sidelong glance at the pool’s reflection in the mirror behind the bar. The buyer and seller were still staring, their conversation momentarily forgotten. Charlotte allowed herself a small, satisfied smile.

“Put it on my tab.” A deep, mildly accented voice called from behind her. Bullseye.

When the bartender handed her the drink, Charlotte turned, making sure to force a blush into her cheeks “Oh, hi,” she said, her tone dripping with faux innocence. “You didn’t have to do that..”

The buyer—tall, with slicked-back hair and an expensive suit—smiled. “No problem at all,” he replied, eyes raking over her form, taking note of the absence of a ring on her left hand. The faux one she’d been given for the trip was sitting back on her nightstand. “Why don’t you join us? A beautiful woman like you shouldn’t be alone.”

Charlotte’s smile widened. “Well, if you insist.” She slid into the empty seat, crossing her legs slowly. “What brings you gentlemen here?”

In her ear, Bucky’s voice crackled. “Careful Char,” he warned. She ignored him.

The men exchanged a glance. “Business,” the seller replied curtly. He was shorter, stockier, with a sharp look in his eyes that spoke of years spent dealing with shady transactions, things he didn’t speak freely about.

“Oh?” Charlotte arched an eyebrow, taking a sip of her drink. “What kind of business?”

The buyer leaned in, lowering his voice. “The kind that pays well. Really fucking well.”

Charlotte laughed softly, leaning onto her elbows in a way that pushed her chest forward. Neither of the men made an effort to pretend they weren’t looking. “Sounds like my lucky day.”

Bucky watched from his vantage point, his jaw clenched. Charlotte was playing her part perfectly, but he couldn’t shake the unease gnawing at him. He adjusted the drone’s angle from his phone ever so slightly, ensuring he had a clear view of the table. As much as he wanted to see the show she was putting on, the point of the footage was to capture their faces, so he positioned the drone behind her.

Charlotte ran a finger along the rim of her glass, her gaze fixed on the zip drive that remained loosely held in the buyer’s left hand. “That looks vintage,” she remarked, nodding towards the watch on the same wrist. “Are you a collector?”

The buyer’s smile widened. “You could say that.” He set the zip drive down on the table, reaching over to tug up the sleeve on his left arm, holding it up for her to see. “1975 Rolex, custom made. Worth a fortune.”

Charlotte’s eyes widened slightly, feigning interest. “Really? I’ve always been fascinated by watches. Mind if I take a closer look?”

The seller hadn’t taken his eyes off her chest since she’d leaned on the table, and the buyer, clearly taken with her, unfastened and handed it over. “Be careful with it, darling. It’s not something you come across every day.”

“Of course,” she marveled. “I promise I’ll be gentle.” A mischievous look in her eye that showed a bit more than innocence. Her fingers brushed against the buyer’s as she took the watch, the touch lingering just a moment longer than necessary. She continued to ooh and ahh turning the watch over in her hands, asking questions she couldn’t give less of a shit about just to keep the men distracted.

Bucky’s grip on his phone tightened. The look in both men's eyes…he knew exactly what they wanted. Even if Charlotte was a professional, even if she could hand their asses to them with one arm tied behind her back, even if she was only his wife for the sake of the mission…it made his blood run hot. He willed her to work faster, to get out of there before one of them got handsy and made him do something he’d regret.

After twenty minutes that felt like an eternity, the buyer was fastening the watch back on his hand, the seller scrawling a phone number onto a cocktail napkin. Charlotte was cradling her chin in her hands, making doe eyes as she thanked them profusely for her drink. When the napkin was handed to her, she held it to her chest as she stood, blowing them a kiss before turning and striding away. She winked as she turned, her smile teasing. “Don’t miss me too much.”

The men didn’t take their eyes off of her.

Bucky swore, swiftly making his way back to the room.

As soon as she was out of sight, she quickened her pace, switching from the exaggerated swing of her hips to a brisk walk.

“Buck,” She breathed, pressing a finger to her ear.

“I’m here,” His answer was instantaneous. “Are you okay?”

“Meet me at the room,” She tried to keep the grin out of her voice. “Hurry!”

When she slid the keycard into the lock and pressed the door open, Bucky was already there, pacing. He stopped when he saw her, relief flooding his features. “Did you get it?”

“What, is it my first mission or something?” She slid her fingers into the triangle of fabric covering her left breast, tugging out a small black zip drive. Tossing it to him, Charlotte held up a thick envelope with a grin. “And a little something extra,” she said, tossing it onto the table with a thud. “But we’re not in the clear yet. They’ll notice soon enough.”

“Char,” He shook his head as if he wasn’t sure whether to scold or commend her for the envelope of cash she’d somehow snuck out without a single piece of fabric on her body large enough to cover it. Letting out a small chuckle, he tossed the drive back to her. “Then let’s get out of here.”

They gathered their things quickly, filling their small suitcases and –– in Charlotte’s case, changing into something a little less revealing. With a crochet sundress slipped over her bikini, she tucked the zip drive into her purse and held the door open. Bucky, one suitcase in each hand, strode right through.

“Nice work,” Bucky said, his voice low as they walked. “You handled that perfectly.”

Charlotte smirked. “What can I say? I’m good at what I do.”

Bucky chuckled, shaking his head. “Yeah, you are. Now let’s get this back to Stark.”

“Wait,” She paused. “Give me ten minutes. Can you have the Quinjet on the roof of that villa by the pool?”

“Char,” His tone was warning.

“Ten minutes,” She was already walking away.

Bucky looked up, eyebrows knitting together in confusion. “Where the hell are you going? We got what we came for.”

Charlotte held up a key card as she walked backwards. “This little beauty gives us access to Mr. Seller’s room. Who knows what other goodies we might find?”

“Charlotte, we can’t risk it. We need to get out of here now,” Bucky insisted, his voice tight with concern.

“Relax, Buck. I’ve got this. Just get the Quinjet ready and meet me on the roof in ten,” she waved him off, rounding the corner.

“Charlotte!” Bucky called after her, but she was gone, leaving him to swear under his breath. He had no choice but to follow her lead and hope she knew what the hell she was doing.

Charlotte moved through the resort with practiced ease, her heart pounding with adrenaline. She was thankful she put a dress on over the swimsuit, but admittedly could have opted for better shoes than the sandals she’d slid into. She slipped past other guests, too caught up in their own vacation to notice her at all. Sliding the key card into the lock, she felt a surge of triumph as the door clicked open.

Inside, she quickly scanned the room, her eyes landing on a sleek laptop and a burner phone on the desk. She grabbed both, stuffing them into her bag. As she turned to leave, she heard the unmistakable sound of security personnel approaching, an angry male voice giving them a description. Brunette, around 5’7, nice tits, upper twenties. Well, they got almost all of it right. Her pulse quickened, and she ducked out of the room, making a swift exit.

The resort was now teeming with security, their radios crackling with alerts about a thief on the property. Charlotte moved swiftly, weaving through staff hallways and down the staircases, her senses on high alert. Her head was down, eyes concealed behind sunglasses as she tried her best to be stealthy in the world’s least conducive footwear.

“Hey, you!” A voice called out from behind her. She didn’t stop to see who it was. “Excuse me, ma’am, we need to ask you a few questions.”

Charlotte paused just long enough to turn around and give the approaching guard a bewildered look. She spoke in rapid French, her tone laced with confusion and a hint of panic. “Je suis désolée, je ne parle pas anglais! Je cherche ma chambre, où est la réception?”

The guard hesitated, thrown off by the sudden language barrier. He glanced around for backup, clearly unsure how to proceed. “Uh, ma’am, we just need to—”

“Merci, merci!” Charlotte interrupted, nodding vigorously before turning and continuing her hurried pace down the hallway. The guard, still unsure, didn’t pursue immediately, giving her the precious seconds she needed.

As she rounded another corner, she slipped into a staff-only hallway, ducking through a door that led to a service corridor. The walls were lined with cleaning supplies and utility carts, providing some cover as she moved. She could hear footsteps echoing behind her, growing closer.

Charlotte spotted a side exit leading to the outdoor pool area and darted through it, emerging into the bright sunlight. The sudden change in environment disoriented her pursuers momentarily, but she knew she had to keep moving.

“Ma’am, stop right there!” Another guard shouted, now joined by a second one. They were closing in.

Without missing a beat, Charlotte kicked off her sandals and broke into a full sprint, her bare feet slapping against the hot pavement. She zigzagged through the resort, dodging guests and weaving between loungers and pool chairs.

Her heart pounded as she approached the pool, diving over a low hedge and slipping through a narrow gap between two cabanas. She could hear the guards shouting, their frustration evident as they tried to keep up.

“Bucky, I need that Quinjet now!” she hissed into her comms, her voice low but urgent.

“On it,” Bucky replied, the hum of the Quinjet’s engines audible in the background.

Charlotte spotted the rooftop access door ahead, but so did the guards closing in on her. She raced up the final flight of stairs, her muscles burning with the effort.

Bursting through the rooftop door, she saw the Quinjet hovering just above, the hatch open and waiting for her. With a final burst of speed, she launched herself towards it, hands grasping the edge as she hauled herself inside.

Bucky reached out, pulling her up the rest of the way. “What the hell were you thinking?” he snapped, his eyes flashing with anger.

Charlotte grinned, breathless but exhilarated. “I was thinking we could use a little more intel. And look what I found,” she said, pulling the laptop and phone from her bag.

Bucky shook his head, his frustration evident. “You could have been caught. Or worse.”

“But I wasn’t,” Charlotte winked, her tone light. “You worry too much, Buck.”

“That’s because you don’t worry enough,” he shot back, his voice edged with concern. “One of these days, your luck is going to run out.”

“Maybe,” she conceded, breathless and grinning. “But not today.”

Bucky sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Let’s just get out of here.”

As the Quinjet rose higher into the sky, Charlotte settled into her seat, her pulse finally starting to slow. She glanced over at Bucky, who was still fuming, his jaw set in a tight line.

“Hey,” she said softly, nudging his arm. “We did good today. And now we have even more to bring back to Stark.”

Bucky looked at her earnest smile, his expression softening just a fraction. “Yeah. We did.”

Charlotte leaned back, closing her eyes as the adrenaline began to fade. She knew Bucky was right—her risk-taking tendencies could be dangerous. But she also knew that without them, she sure as hell wouldn’t have gotten this far. It was a fine line to walk, but she was willing to walk it for the sake of the mission—and, if she was honest, for the thrill of it all.

The Quinjet sped across the sky to their rendezvous point, the cities below them all blurring together. It was just another day in their complicated, unconventional lives, but for Charlotte, it was a day well spent. And as she felt Bucky’s gaze linger on her, she knew that despite his frustration, he couldn’t deny the spark of excitement that her antics always seemed to ignite.

As they settled in for the rest of the flight, Bucky shot Charlotte a sideways glance, a hint of admiration in his eyes. "You're something else, Char," he remarked, a wry smile betraying his stern tone.

Charlotte grinned back at him, her pulse still racing with the thrill of the chase. "Just trying to keep the spark alive.”

He raised an eyebrow at her.

“In our marriage,” She winked. “Duh.”

Bucky snorted, shaking his head. "If this is your idea of a marriage, I'm not sure I can handle the honeymoon."

Charlotte leaned closer, her eyes twinkling mischievously. "Oh, come on, you know you love it. Admit it, Barnes, you were on the edge of your seat watching me back there."

He rolled his eyes but couldn't hide the small smile tugging at his lips. "Yeah, on the edge of my seat ready to jump in and save your reckless ass."

"Please," she scoffed, waving a hand dismissively. "I had everything under control. You worry too much."

Bucky's smile faded slightly, his expression turning serious. "And you don't worry enough. You can't just keep pulling stunts like that, Char. One day, you might not be so lucky."

Charlotte's playful demeanor softened for a moment. "I know, Bucky. But a very wise tutor of mine once told me to know the plan, but never be afraid to pivot during battle. And besides," she added, her grin returning, "isn't that why you love working with me? Keeps you on your toes."

He shook his head, a reluctant chuckle escaping his lips. "A wise tutor, huh?"

“Don’t let it go to your head.”

“I’ll do my best.” He shot her a sidelong look. “No more stunts like these, okay? I’m too old for this shit.”

She saluted him with a mock-serious expression. "Aye aye, Captain. No more near-death experiences...for today."

Bucky rolled his eyes again but couldn't suppress his grin. "You're impossible."

"And yet, here you are, stuck with me," she teased, leaning back in her seat.

"Yeah, yeah," he muttered, a smile playing at the corners of his mouth. "Just promise me you'll be careful, Char. I don't want to have to explain to Nat why we lost her favorite agent."

Charlotte placed a hand over her heart in a mock pledge. "I solemnly swear to be as careful as my reckless nature allows."

Bucky shook his head, but his eyes were warm. "That's a start."

______

An hour into the flight back to the compound, they’d received an incoming call from Agent Hill. Apparently the notorious Midwestern spring storms were looming in their path, making the normally simple flight a little more treacherous.

Bucky rubbed his jaw as he leaned against the console of the Quinjet, exchanging an exasperated glance with Charlotte. "Maria, what do you mean we can't fly? We're in the sturdiest fucking aircraft there is."

Maria Hill's voice crackled over the comms, her tone firm but sympathetic. "I know, Barnes, but we've got some bad storms rolling directly through your path. It's not safe to be up there right now. You need to find somewhere to land and wait it out until the weather clears."

Charlotte crossed her arms, frustration evident in her voice. "Agent Hill, we have intel we need to get to you. We’re so close to being home, just another two hours ––"

"I understand, Charlotte," Maria interrupted, her tone firm. "But your safety comes first. You won't be any good to us if you end up caught in a storm or worse. We received the drone footage from Sergeant Barnes, any other intel can wait until you get back tomorrow"

Bucky sighed, running a hand through his hair. "She's right, Char. We can't risk it."

Charlotte shot him a defiant look. "Where the hell are we supposed to go? Where even are we?"

Natasha's voice cut in over the comms, her tone calm but authoritative. "You’re over Oklahoma. I’d recommend detouring south to avoid the storm cell, hiding out in our North Texas safe house. I’ll send over the coordinates."

Bucky exchanged a resigned glance with Charlotte before nodding. "Fine. It better not be one of the shitty old ones."

"It’s one of Stark’s old vacation homes," Maria replied. "I think you’ll find it…comfortable. Just be safe, both of you. We'll regroup once the weather clears."

With a heavy sigh, Bucky switched off the comms, the tension in the cockpit palpable. They were so close to being back home, but now they were grounded by forces beyond their control. As Bucky scanned the horizon, the storm clouds loomed ominously in the distance, making Charlotte’s stomach flop. She’d grown up in a cold, frigid climate. Summer storms and tornadoes still made her uneasy, especially combining an unfamiliar environment.

But she wasn’t the captain, and they’d been given a direct order. Sighing, Charlotte leaned back in her seat, knowing there was no amount of insubordination that would get her out of this one.

As the Quinjet touched down in the field next to the large safe house, Bucky and Charlotte stared out the windshield, both sighing deeply. The rain was coming down in sheets, making visibility near zero. They could barely see the house thirty yards in front of them. With a sense of resignation, they grabbed the bags, hurried out of the Quinjet and dashed towards the safety of the house. The rain soaked them through in a matter of seconds as they sprinted across the yard.

They stumbled up the porch steps, clumsy and slipping, as they reached for the door handle, their soaked clothes clinging to their skin. Bucky punched in the security code, and with a click, the door swung open.

They practically tumbled inside, Bucky dropping both of their bags on the ground with a wet thunk. Water pooled at their feet as they stood in the entrance hall, dripping onto the undoubtedly expensive hardwood floor.

Charlotte let out a breathless laugh, running a hand through her sodden hair. "Well, this is…not how I saw today going."

Bucky scowled, raising an eyebrow at her. "Funny, I’ve thought that several times today."

“Don’t be a dick.” She rolled her eyes.

As the rain continued to pour outside, Charlotte stood dripping on the rug, her soaked dress clinging to her curves, her hair plastered to her skin. Grabbing the hem of her dress, she tugged it over her head, revealing that damn black bikini underneath. Pulling it over her head, she paused, the soaked material knotted in her long, dark hair, already curling from the rain. She hesitated, glancing back at Bucky, her expression a mix of frustration and amusement as she attempted to tug the ends of her hair free.

"Good thing I’m wearing a swimsuit," she muttered, her voice laced with sarcasm.

Bucky watched her, momentarily stunned into silence by the sight before him. He couldn't tear his gaze away from her, the way the rain droplets ran down her body, the way her muscles moved beneath her skin as she tangled with her hair. His heart raced in his chest, his blood burning in his veins.

"Let me help you with that," Bucky finally said, his voice low and husky as he stepped forward. Moving closer to Charlotte, he reached out to gently untangle the dress from her hair, his fingers brushing against her shoulder with a feather-light touch.

Charlotte's breath caught in her throat as Bucky's touch sent a shiver down her spine. She met his gaze, her eyes locking with his in a silent exchange. He easily freed the dress, letting it drop to the floor. There was a palpable tension in the air, thick with things they’d repressed, fought against, lied to themselves about. Now, everything that had previously stood in their way was nowhere to be found. There was no mission, no teammates sharing a wall, no Sam to come interrupt them.

In a way, it felt like they’d lost their safety net. Nothing stood between them and certain death.

Nothing stood between them at all.

"Thanks," Charlotte murmured, her voice barely above a whisper as she stepped back, the space between them suddenly feeling charged with electricity.

Bucky swallowed hard, his heart pounding in his chest as he struggled to maintain his composure. He felt his grip on himself loosening, slipping away. His fists clenched at his sides. Closing his eyes, he swallowed hard, trying to remember any reason he shouldn’t do what his body was telling –– begging him to do.

He felt her touch first.

Her hands on his leather jacket. They gripped the lapels, pulling it back, down his arms. It dropped to the floor.

Her hands found the hem of his t-shirt, slid beneath it. His skin burned under her touch, where she brushed his stomach as she lifted the shirt. Raising his arms, their eyes locked as she reached up to pull it over his head. His hair was soaked, a few loose strands plastered to his face. Giving in to her temptation, she ran her hands down his body. Her fingers trailed over his collarbone, over the ridge where his arm met his shoulder, over his chest and the muscles that rippled across his abdomen. She let her eyes roam over him unapologetically, drinking up every muscle, every scar, every glint of his arm in the low light. When she looked back up to meet his gaze, she almost didn’t recognize the man staring down at her.

There was a wild look in his eye that made Charlotte forget who she was, who he was. It burned into her, making her feel naked in ways far beyond just clothing.

Without breaking eye contact, he kicked off his boots. His hands went to his belt, unfastening it, unbuttoning his jeans, lowering the zipper. He paused, seeming to come back to himself for a moment. They stood there, still soaking wet, in the entryway. Rain pounded against the roof, wind howling outside. Charlotte was in a black bikini, Bucky in unbuttoned jeans. Both of them showing more skin to the other than they’d ever dared.

A moment passed between them. Shallow breathing. Hungry eyes. Thunderous heartbeats.

Slowly, tortuously, Charlotte reached up and brushed her wet hair to one side. Her eyes remained locked on Bucky as she tugged on one string of her bikini top. The knot on the back of her neck instantly unraveled, the top falling down to her stomach, revealing her bare chest to him. His breath caught in his throat, his pants feeling tighter. She reached her hands down to the second knot, tugging on it before letting the whole swimsuit top join the rest of their discarded clothing on the floor.

“Fuck,” Bucky breathed, unable to formulate another thought.

Charlotte took a step towards him, closing the gap between them. She looked up at him, cocking her head ever so slightly. “Is that an offer?”

Whatever leash he’d had on his restraint snapped.

Bucky reached out, his hand cupping Charlotte's cheek as he leaned in closer, his lips mere inches from hers. His heart hammered in his chest, every nerve in his body on edge with anticipation.

Charlotte's breath caught in her throat as she felt Bucky's touch, his warmth seeping into her skin and setting her ablaze. She met his gaze, her eyes dark with longing, silently urging him to take the next step.

And then, in a heartbeat, it happened. Bucky closed the final distance between them, his lips crashing into hers. It was hard and ravenous and impatient and greedy. His hand slid from her cheek to the nape of her neck, tangling in her wet hair. His other hand found her waist, gripping her hard with cold metal fingers. Her arms wrapped around his torso, trailing down his back. She dug her nails in ever-so-slightly, eliciting a low moan from him, devoured by their kiss.

The kiss was a mess of wet skin and lust, it was sloppy and desperate. For a fleeting instant, nothing else mattered but the electrifying connection between them, the raw intensity of their desire igniting like a wildfire. It was a kiss of longing and longing, a silent confession of the feelings that had been simmering beneath the surface for far too long.

A big fuck you to every single time they’d repressed their feelings, every single time they’d fought the urge to cross this line in the sand.

Charlotte’s hands slipped into his waistband, tugging his soaked jeans down over his hips. Bucky stepped out of them, leading Charlotte backwards without breaking the kiss. They stepped backwards through the dark entryway, dripping water across the floor. Charlotte’s hands gripped either side of his face as she followed his lead, one of his hands on her lower back, the other outstretched behind her. With a thud, his hand collided with a wall, immediately backing her against it. Their bare chests collided, skin sticky from the rain and warm with desire.

In one movement, both of Charlotte’s hands were pinned above her head in a vibranium grip. Bucky angled his head, reaching up to cup her jaw as he slid his tongue along her lower lip. A whimper, a whine escaped her lips, only serving to ignite him further. Sliding a knee between her thighs, Charlotte nearly gasped at the sensation. She writhed against his thigh, chasing this strange and euphoric feeling as he rubbed against her. His hand dropped from her jaw, trailing down her neck, across her breasts, down her stomach. It reached around behind her and slid into her bikini bottoms, squeezing her ass so tightly she sucked in a breath. She’d never felt this good, felt this needy, this desperate.

She’d never done this before.

Her heart thudded in her chest as Bucky released her hands, bringing both of his down underneath her, lifting her up until her back was against the wall and her legs were wrapped around him. She locked her ankles behind his back, pulling his hips even closer to hers. He was rock hard, pressing against the spot threatening to ignite her whole body. Wiggling her hips, she ground herself into him.

“Oh, God ––” He closed his eyes, throwing his head back as her hips pressed against him.

When he brought his head back down, he pressed his forehead to Charlotte’s, both of their breaths coming in ragged gasps. Hearts pounded, chests heaved. For a moment they stayed, pinned against the wall, holding each other.

“Char,” He groaned.

“Mmm,” The noise she made was somewhere between a reply and a moan as she ran her hands through his hair.

“Do you want this?”

She paused, hands freezing on his neck.

Hell yes, fuck yes, she absolutely wanted this. This sensation, this feeling, everything that was just happening. She wanted it to never, ever end. She wanted to feel him, she wanted to give herself to him, let this aggressive and demanding version of James Buchanan Barnes take as much of her as he needed.

“Buck…” She breathed, closing her eyes.

“Hey,” He slowly lowered her to the ground, ensuring she was steady on her feet before reaching up to cup her cheeks. “Hey, what’s wrong? We don’t have to do this, we don’t ––”

“No,” She met his gaze, eyes determined. “I want this. I want…this.” Rising onto her tiptoes, she gripped the back of his head, bringing his lips to hers in a slow, wet, deep kiss. They slowly separated, Charlotte dropping back down to her normal height. “I want it all…so badly. I just,” She closed her eyes, leaning her head back against the wall. “I don’t know how.”

A moment of silence passed between them.

“You don’t know how…” He spoke the words slowly, as if he was trying to figure out what they mean.

“I mean, I never have.” Her eyes met his, willing, begging him to understand. “I don’t know what to do.”

“Oh,” Bucky's gaze softened as he realized what Charlotte was trying to tell him. He gently brushed a strand of hair from her face, his touch tender and reassuring. "Oh." he repeated, his voice filled with understanding.

"Charlotte, that's nothing to be ashamed of." He paused, searching her eyes for any sign of discomfort. "It's okay. We don't have to rush into anything. We can take our time." His hands slid down the backs of her arms, gently, softly.

Charlotte's eyes flicked up to meet his gaze, and she tangled her fingers in his own as they reached down her arms. "What if I don’t want to take my time," she breathed, her voice trembling slightly.

“Char…”

"Bucky.” She squeezed his hands. “I want this. I want to do this. I want to learn. With you. I trust you."

Bucky's heart swelled, and he leaned in to press a soft kiss to her forehead. "I'll teach you," he whispered, his lips brushing against her skin. "We'll go slow. I'll show you everything, and if you ever want to stop, you just tell me, okay?"

She nodded, her insides throbbing at his gentleness. Bucky lifted her chin, making sure she looked into his eyes. "We'll start with the basics," he said, his voice steady and comforting. "We'll go at your pace."

“Can we skip the basics and go back to where we just were?” She pleaded, bringing his hands up to her breasts. A groan escaped his lips as he squeezed, ever-so-gently. His thumbs grazed her nipples before trailing back down to her hips.

“If you want me to teach you…you have to let me start from the beginning.” A devilish grin.

He leaned in again, his lips capturing hers in a slow, tender kiss. This time, there was no rush, no urgency. It was a kiss filled with promise and patience, a kiss that told her he was in no hurry and that he valued her comfort above all else.

Charlotte melted into the kiss, her hands slowly finding their way to his shoulders. She felt the heat of his body, the steady beat of his heart against her chest. It was a feeling of safety, of being cherished.

Bucky's hands moved gently, exploring the curves of her body with a reverence that made her feel beautiful and desired and fuck, so impatient. He took his time, tantalizing her. As his hands caressed her back, her sides, and finally the soft skin of her belly, Charlotte felt like she was going to boil over.

When he finally broke the kiss, she was breathless but smiling. "How was that?" Bucky asked softly, his forehead resting against hers.

"Perfect," Charlotte whispered, her voice strained. "But can we get to the next part, please."

He smirked, his thumb gently tracing the outline of her jaw. "What’s the rush, Char?"

She groaned, leaning her head back. “You’re killing me, Buck,”

“Am I?” He cocked his head in a way she’d never seen, mouth slightly agape. His hand trailed down her stomach, slid between her legs, making her bite her lip so hard it nearly split. Metal fingers slid the band of black fabric to the side, making a long, leisurely swipe through her. A truly pathetic whimper escaped her lips as he pulled his hand back up, examining his fingers in the dim lighting. His gaze darkened as he looked her dead in the eye, bringing his fingers to his lips and slowly sucking the first two.

“Bucky,” Charlotte whined. “Please.”

Bucky's grin widened, and he took her hand. “For the next part,” He led her towards a long hallway. “I think we’ll need a bed.”

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x oc #bucky fluff #winter soldier #avengers #bucky fanfic #james bucky barnes #winter soldier fluff

19 notes · View notes