#hopefully sexually

[finelinens]

just talk to me, eddie.

#a drawing from a couple years ago that still comforts me #hopefully tumblr is okay with this level of non-sexual nudity #reddie #IT fanart #IT chapter 2 fanart #reddie fanart #richie tozier fanart #eddie kaspbrak fanart #art tag #fanart tag #mature art tag

[prince-liest]

I’m a sex-repulsed ace, and reading the latest chapter of 666 (as well as your analysis here on Tumblr) made me realize that I have been subconsciously thinking about MY OWN sexuality from an allo perspective? And that it has kinda been messing me up?? Like, ever since I learned that sexual attraction was actually a Thing and that it’s Important To People, I had been carrying around a fear of being deficient in some way and not being able to love to the same extent as allos. (1)

Even though I know logically that’s complete garbage and totally untrue, I felt left out of the loop because people seemed to care strongly about this thing I couldn’t even imagine. Whenever it looked like a relationship might happen I panicked for a reason that I couldn’t understand. But now I’m starting to realize that it’s because I was subconsciously terrified of an ‘ulterior motive’ behind the other person’s reasons for wanting to be with me. (2) That part of the reason they even cared was because of something I don’t experience. So thank you, because this realization just clicked into place while reading your work. The thing is, this way of thinking was just internalized in such a way that I didn’t even realize it was there until literally this week. And I think you’re right; one of the main reasons behind that is because I’ve always consumed media written from an allo perspective. (3) If ace/aros are shown at all, they’re depicted as “lacking” and their character development usually revolves around being “fixed” by the story. When I was ~10 years old my mom sometimes let me watch the Big Bang Theory with her (looking back, maybe not the best decision). Anyways, there was one episode deep into the series where Sheldon (who for the past nineish seasons was probably the closest thing to mainstream ace rep) has sex with his girlfriend for the first time. (4) Afterwards, he says something along the lines of “that was better than I thought it would be”, and it’s presented as a Very Good Thing and a big step in their relationship. I think a lifetime of stuff like that makes it very easy to internalize aphobia and feel like the lesser part of the relationship. Or to feel like the other partner is making a huge sacrifice to be with you. That got wayy too long, sorry. All that was just a lot of words to say that I appreciate you. Take care of yourself!(5)

The portrayal of asexuality that you see in media being almost exclusively as you described is very tedious to me because it presumes that something is inherently lacking in aro/aceness rather than that feeling of "lacking" being something that is induced by societal norms. Actually, one of the things that I find additionally alienating is that fandom spaces specifically have been getting better and better about ace characters - but got damn does fandom not jive with aromanticism. Like, a character doesn't want to fuck? That's becoming a liiiittle more fine, it's 2024, we stan consent. But not shipping someone romantically?? Not so easy, now.

I'm glad that my work has been something that resonated with you in this respect! Alastor cares a lot about his reputation as a demon but is pretty blatantly a person who could not possibly give less of a shit about being "wrong" for not being experiencing romantic or sexual attraction. The explanation Viv gave at one point for his own understanding of himself (that he thinks he's just "waiting for the right woman") actually stuck out to me a lot because it's a very "well, nothing is wrong with me for not feeling anything, it's the world that's failed to produce a suitable person" perspective.

But having that kind of confident perspective of your own rightness in the world is really not often portrayed in media, or even in fandom, which even ten years ago was still in the throes of standardizing "Oh, no! Me, gay? These feelings are so wrong!" style m/m content and is honestly not that far off from essentially that for aro/ace characters.

Anyway, all of that is to say that there's not yet much out there that doesn't frame allo/amatonormative values as the default that "even aro/ace people can (and should want to) achieve," and that it's really fun to write a fic that is unequivocally from the perspective of a character who is aroace and doesn't see it as even remotely a fault in himself. Does he have moments where he's a little confused and trying to process how things fit for him? Absolutely. But he just doesn't strike me as the kind of guy who thinks he owes romance to Vox of all people, hahaha. I've written him trying to conform to allo/amatonormativity more with Mimzy, because I think the social standards of their time could push him into it, but Vox? Absolutely not, he does not respect Vox enough for it to even enter his mind.

And then, on the other hand, writing it from an aroace perspective centers the way that romantic and sexual interest can feel like a betrayal of a good thing. With a character like Alastor, it frames romantic and sexual attraction the same alien way that we usually see aromanticism and asexuality framed as.

In the end, this is just one of a plethora of different experiences that aro/ace people can have, but it's one that I really wanted to see represented more, so I'm very happy to write it. I'm glad that you're enjoying it!

#ask #personal #Anonymous #long post #t #aroace #ace #he cares about Vox at this point! #but that's. not really the same as respecting him. #anyway this next chapter is important to me because it's very #how do I put this #“this was okay at the moment but that doesn't mean he's okay with it overall and forever” #“and it does not mean that they've 'progressed' their relationship to the point where Alastor being aroace is a 'nonissue'” #“(feat. ofc the heavy implication that it was an issue in the first place)” #ANYWAY. SOMETIMES I HAVE A HARD TIME EXPRESSING THIS IN NON-FIC WORDS #SO HOPEFULLY THE FIC AS IT CONTINUES SPEAKS FOR ME. I AM GLAD THAT IT HAS SPOKEN TO YOU SO FAR <3 THANK YOU!! #sexuality #my writing #hazbin hotel #this is a hot button topic atm and it took me a minute to write a reply #that didn't seem like it invited discourse lmfao #actually I still feel weird posting my opinion this strongly oops OH WELL

[aspecpolls]

I'm actually confused about if it's normal that other aromantics or asexuals have other preferences

I'm sorry these are all I can put, there are too many sexualities to add them all.

Aromantic and bisexual

Aromantic and lesbian

Aromantic and gay

Aromantic and straight

Aromantic and another sexuality

Asexual and biromantic

Asexual and lesbian

Asexual and gay

Asexual and straight

Asexual and another sexuality

Aromantic asexual

#aro #aromantic #ace #asexual #aroace #arospec #acespec #aroacespec #aspec #confused-spood #polls #it's totally normal! :D #the aro and ace spectrums are huge #so pretty much any combo you can think of #there are people out there that will be that #also hope it's ok that i changed your wording around a bit! #just to hopefully avoid what i suspected could cause confusion #as well as adding 'aromantic and asexual' further up on the list #because people might hit 'aromantic and another sexuality' before they saw the aroace option at the bottom

[woennix]

I wanna share some positive things the about the QSMP I personally see.

Of course this is just how I see it, but I feel like there's too much negativity and I need some positive stuff so if I don't see it I'll just make it.

The thing I'll highlight here is my favorite aspects of the LGBT relationships in the server in general (Mainly ships).

Firstly of ace character with qCellbit, I'll just say the moment qRoier accepted qCellbit as ace so fucking quickly it made me so happy, and in general I love their relationship and how they supported eachtother during their hardest times (Bobby's loss and qCellbit's whole arc where he pretended to betray everyone). Related to this I love how this doesn't diminish qRoier's friendship with qJaiden and they have such a strong relationship even after he marries qCellbit, she even is seen as part of their family (AS SHE SHOULD!!!!).

I also love qBagi and qTina, where they have a relationship and we can see qTina's insecurities and qBagi's patience for her. I love how qBagi opened up to her and they bonded on feeling alone and now they have eachother :(( (AND A DAUGHTER!!!! THEY WANTED A DAUGHTER AND THEY GOT IT!! W) I don't follow their story as much but their recent developments with qTina's lore is so cool and I'm so excited to see where that's going.

Obviously I love qFit and qPac (I say obviously bc it's all I talk about in my page), but the slow burn story was so good, for both characters where they have a lot to work through but support eachother though everything. My favorite part I guess is seeing them be the ''I am not marrying'' couple. They do not need a marriage to show their relationship and don't care that much about labels. I will say I know they might eventually marry and that's ok, but I for now, I really love how they don't want or care about marriage and that's ok, they're going on their own pace and that's ok too (they haven't had their first kiss yet). Idk I just love them.

The other ships don't catch that much my attention but!! I wanna say I also love the irl representation, with Mike being such an icon and defending the community (and being part of it with his partner Mine <3), Felps always defending it too, and many other. Tubbo, Bagi, Cellbit, also being queer people to look up to, and I am sure I am missing people. But in general I love the server for being so LGBT-friendly always.

I'll also always remember how quickily Slime and Mariana supported Juanaflippa her being trans. All the support she got in-story and outside of it was so nice. (And her as a character in general but that's another topic lmao).

And lastly I'll just say, as an aro-person, I love seeing how not everything is romance, most of my favorite dynamics are not ships, and there are so many found-family aspects on the server, it makes my heart full. Not everything is perfect in it but yeah!! This is an aspect I really love of the server.

#qsmp #some positivity #i am starting to come to terms with myself being bi and aro and generally being confused on a lot of sexuality and romance stuff #so this server is a nice place to be in that regard #anyways that's all from me guys hopefully I make sense I am not corny af #woe's ranting

[femmeidiot]

I'm glad to know I'm still inspiring some t4t lust and it's fun that some of you also want to kidnap me

#hopefully ur sexualizing that at least a little

[thedanceronthestreets]

Ok, had an outright delusional conversation with my mum about ted lasso and this is what she said: what's the point of colin coming out in the grander scheme of things? Why is trent's presence at richmond relevant to the plot? Trent ultimately being there to help colin through his coming out is sweet and inspiring but, on its own, it doesn't drive the big plot, only creates a new sideplot. So, what is it's relevance to the main plot/character? How is colin coming out and trent helping him relevant to richmond, relevant to ted? She said it implies ted goes on some sort of self discovery journey that mirrors colin's and with all the gay stuff happening it's not a huge mental leap to assume ted starts to question his sexuality too once he hears about the experience of being closeted from someone going through a coming out. And she specifically said this is seeded in ted's relationship with sassy: even though sassy seems to show genuine interest in him (whether that's romantic or purely sexual) ted always seems to go along with it mindlessly, without questioning if it's what he really wants/needs in that moment. He uses their relationship as a distraction from his depressive episodes but never genuinely seems interested in sassy as a romantic/sexual partner. So what would happen if he started to question his encounters with her? What would happen if he started to question where the selective disinterest is coming from? Would he find it's only because he just can't let go of michelle? Or is it because he can't let go of the expectation surrounding these encounters? He's never had to answer such questions because he's been with michelle from such a young age. What if he started to explore encounters he DOES find genuine interest in and what if he finds the encounters are unexpected and scary, similarly to colin pre coming out? What if trent helps colin, but ultimately, inadvertently, importantly, helps TED in his journey to self-acceptance and colin is just the spark to light the fire? It's so big brained cause it ties most of ted's struggles together so neatly: his struggle with his marriage, with who he is outside of the marriage, with why he's always felt he needed to justify his presence with 'being curious, not judgemental', his relationship with sassy and trent and most importantly his father, ESPECIALLY as we might learn about trent's relationship with his father

#i want this to relate to ted's sexuality so bad but to be honest it works for any sort of personal development in ted #the important thing is that trent feels important because he WILL be important #he'll guide colin but that'll ultimately lead to guiding ted too #and i'd like to think we hopefully get some clarity on why ted's been this guiding force for trent too #and i think it might go a bit....deeper.... #tedtrent #ted lasso #trent crimm #colin hughes #ted lasso spoilers #anyway my mum's insane lol

[lesbians535]

It’s weird. They have no evidence about Paige’s sexuality and just go ahead and post shit to start a narrative. Multiple people were saying she was dating a man who has a whole wife. Paige hasn’t said shit about her sexuality so people on tiktok need to stop posting on places she can see. Discourse here is fine but on there is just weird.

yes exactly! talking on here is chill and i’m actually so glad people who really love and admire paige can come here and collectively freak out over her dykey tiktoks and cute pazzi moments. but then randoms who can’t name any other players besides paige, caitlin, and juju will get on tiktok and be like “oh my god i can’t believe she’s straight” and the evidence is literally nothing

the blue search bar on almost every video of hers is “paige bueckers boyfriend” or “paige bueckers straight” like leave my wife alone and let her be good at basketball and okay at dancing in peace 😭

also this is not referencing the editing community at all… i appreciate y’all very much 🫶🏽 and according to recent statements by paige, she does as well!

let’s not forget she favorited a tiktok edit where the second clip was from that live at Ted’s and the caption was “it’s munch szn”

that is y’all’s straight queen?? take caitlin and hailey and go in peace!

#paige bueckers #uconn wbb #also hopefully this is clear but this is not a subpost at anyone on here #this is really at the people who don’t know that much about uconn/wbb and are debating abt paige’s sexuality on other platforms

[sampilled]

I love characters that have a vaguely freakish nature *slaps Sam Winchester like he is the roof of a car* you can project so much on these bad boys

#tag this with what you project onto him!!!!! #no it’s like so universally relatable #no matter what makes you a freak. your class. your gender. your mental health. your sexuality. Sam Winchester will always be there <3 #been thinking about this a lot since the ‘woman coded’ discourse actually #like yes he is not a woman obvs 🙄 but he issssssss a freak who was denied autonomy and called hysterical and has had to deal with so many #double standards #like literally within the show when Sam starts acting like dean that is when people think he’s a monster and #you’re gonna say women can’t make that connection? #idk hopefully you are picking up what I am putting down #sam winchester #supernatural

[pseuddamntired]

Currently wrestling with the fact that every time I hear the last name Hopclap I think of an STD.

I feel so bad about it on behalf of the Hopclaps. They may be ambiguously sinister/evil but damn idk if anyone deserves that comparison.

#i imagine an std called hopclap would cause such distressing symptoms #just like. sexually transmitted compulsive dancing #like that fairy tale about enchanted shoes that force the wearer to dance but it’s contagious. sexually. #hopefully now that i’ve shared this thought it will stop haunting me #my post #dimension 20 #fantasy high junior year

[i-write-sin-not-tragedy]

Hazbincule 4.0

feat. Pride Flags this time!

Honestly theres more, smaller dynamics in here i would love to add but i really don't want this chart to be like,,,,unreadable LOL but honestly if two people don't have a line between them just assume the dynamic is some flavor of platonic and/or friendship.

(This polycule brought to you by an aroace, so please, god, stop yelling at me about Alastor. Aroace is a spectrum, and I will portray him the way that feels right for me, as is my right with my own sexuality. Also aromantic-gay Angel Dust FTW)

#fixed so hopefully people do not assume i am erasing Alastors sexuality bc. no lol #my man is still aroace hes just gonna be the same flavor as me bc thats what i know best #hazbin hotel #hazbincule #i aint taggin em all again sorry LOL #☁️💬

[virtues-end]

Can I romance Shea if I choose ♡ instead of a red heart?

The first heart choice sets the tone for the relationship, at least at the beginning of the game. The choice marked with ♥ indicates a romantic interest, whilst the ♡ choice indicates a sexual one. However, this doesn't mean that you'll be locked into a certain route (at least, for now); both ♥ and ♡ options will still be available to pick in future scenes regardless of your first choice.

So, to answer your question: yes!

#I hope this makes sense :) #just wanted to give people the freedom to choose their approach #the game also has a separate variable that tracks the overall relationship regardless of romantic/sexual interest #the combination of those three (together with shea's trust stat) will decide the course of things... hopefully #sidenote this goes for ALL ROs #asks

[xiaq]

Why do feelings have to be so confusing???

I’ve never been super into labels, but if I had to choose I probably would have gone with aroace. I kind of figured I wouldn’t ever find someone I wanted to be in a relationship with and that was fine.

But now I’m 30 and somehow in a relationship for the very first time with this person that I love so much. And it’s wonderful and amazing in so many ways, but I also feel so crazy with it??

I feel like a teenager with their first crush but also too old for that and it’s like I don’t know how to trust myself in this because I’ve never felt anything close to this before.

Feeling romantic and sexual attraction for the first time there’s a part of me that’s like how has everyone been living like this the whole time??? It still doesn’t feel like it should be real somehow, even though I’m now experiencing it firsthand.

Anyway I don’t know exactly where I’m going with this, but if you either advice or even just stories to make me feel a little less ridiculous, I’d love to hear them!

I think it's really REALLY important to remember that socially reinforced ideas of normalcy when it comes to exploring sexuality are not, actually, normal. A. Because people are people and what works for one person doesn't work for others. While there's obviously going to be a bell curve on the graph of "when do people typically sort out who they want to kiss (or not kiss) and start doing that" there is going to be a steady, not insignificant, number of folks that are on the upward and downward swing of that bell curve before you even get to the far outliers, and that's to be expected. B. Traditionally accepted timelines for building a sense of sexual identity don't apply anymore. The average age for (first) marriage is creeping back each year. In the US in 1900 it was 26 for men and 22 for women. Now it's 29 and 27 respectively. Women, especially, don't have nearly the pressure placed upon them that they used to to quickly find someone who will take care of them seeing as we can now open bank accounts and own property and work for (mostly) equal pay and all that jazz. So there's that to consider.

But also. Humans, human bodies, are never stagnant. You might have heard the fun factoid that all our cells are replaced every 7 years. That's not entirely accurate, but it's true that the body does regenerate skin and bone and liver and stomach, and so on, cells at a kind of mind-boggling rate. There are things that we're born with that don't change like some of the neurons in our cerebral cortex, I think, but as a species we are generally made to adapt to new experiences and environments so much so that our bodies are in a constant state of change themselves. You're just...doing what you're built to do. Something new has happened and you're adapting to it.

And yes, it can be scary and make you feel very vulnerable when you don't have historical relationship or sex-related context like other people your age might have, but that's when you get to lean on friends and/or talk to your therapist to make sure you're approaching things in a healthy way, there aren't red flags you're missing, etc. Because humans are also pack animals and we thrive in communities in which we can share each others burdens and wisdom.

As someone who also had built what I thought was a pretty clear assessment of my romantic and sexual identity over 29 years, only to have it challenged and rebuilt at 30, I fully empathize with the way you feel. But I leaned into the feelings of confusion (and frankly, giddiness, at times). Who says teenagers are the only ones that get to experience first crushes? Who says 30 is too old for self-discovery? You get to decide how you interact with the world. Who cares what other people are doing if what you're doing makes you happy and hurts no one.

#no guilt in my pleasures #sexuality #hopefully this helps #answered asks #aroace

[semiotomatics]

think i found a fake georgia o'keeffe painting lol

#this has been an original post #personal spewage #like. not a real painting someone is trying to pass off as a georgia o'keeffe #just. an image online that is being credited as by her #but not only do i suspect it's not. i don't even know where it _is_ from #like i think it might've been created just to be attributed to her? or something? #like this might be one of those things where it made the leap from physical sources to digital and lost its citations along the way or w/e #but uhhhh. i don't think so #the earliest reference to it i could find was in 2007 on a random art history site (not affiliated w any actual organization/museum/etc) #after that it's all. freaking. pinterest/instagram/tumblr #anyway i emailed the georgia o'keeffe museum abt it. hopefully they get back to me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ #this matters to me okay! i love her work! #i hate that when everyone sees one of her pieces all they think is “hur dur that looks like a vag” #a) that was not her intention and b) jesus christ can you think with something other than your reproductive organs for five fucking minutes #yes some things in nature are going to look phallic and/or yonic #you can have a good chuckle over it but then _move on_ #not everything is about sex/sexuality/the human body #sometimes ppl just want to paint pretty flowers #-sigh- #anyway #that's been my crusade today

[guidingtheparty]

all those old posts about noah being a dudebro straight man i'm looking at you

#hopefully we'll learn not to assume people's sexuality from this #noah schnapp #byler