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kalmeria · 28 days

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heard it was autism acceptance and stuff so i wanted to talk abt something ive been thinking about.

tldr up front is that i just want to give some of the reasons why i support self diagnosis.

i am autistic and i am officially diagnosed with autism. but wasnt always! basically i never bothered anyone enough to slap that sticker on me and my family thought it was a baaad sticker so they just avoided it. when we watched rain man or extremely loud and incredibly close they would be like oh that person is like you and id be like no i do not have a tambourine. i did not know what “autism” meant and they were content with that. i was described as kind of autistic-like, but not the real thing dont worry.

and then i very very slowly learned about it. and thought about it a bunch. and then i was what they call self diagnosed. and then i decided that i wanted it to be official. i wanted to be able to talk about it without worrying that people wont believe me. (surely they will believe you if you have an official paper about it right? right.?) i wanted to confidently call myself #actuallyautistic

so after a lot of gentle convincing my mother (i needed her help for this) and a lot of waiting and a lot of paperwork i was really truly on a waiting list. and my mother, she refused to call me autistic at that point because it was not yet official. because i did not have my assessment. but heres the thing (and i kept telling her this): it’s not like having a blood test or something. it isn’t about finding out if you are truly for real actually autistic. people don’t go through all that just for fun. they are either sent there, or they choose to go there to get their piece of paper. it is about being assessed to see exactly what your issues are and what your needs are. and then getting some pieces of paper that will grant you the ability to access certain types of accommodations.

getting an official diagnosis does not suddenly magically turn you into an autistic person. it isn’t like oh i wasn’t autistic yesterday but i am today! no. it actually says right there on one of my pieces of paper: it is a condition that i had since birth and i will have for the rest of my life. it is a really cool and useful piece of paper, for me. but that is all it is. i existed before it existed. i was autistic before it said so.

i was very lucky to be able to decide for myself that getting officially diagnosed was a thing i wanted to do, and then to actually do it. because there are people who do not have that choice to be put in this category or not. because yes, it is a category and it very much has its downsides. and there are people who are not able to actually go and get that diagnosis even if they want it. because it is difficult to obtain, or even impossible, depending on your circumstances.

so basically my message is: just don’t mythologize the autism diagnosis. support people who are self diagnosed.

#not reading this back it is too long #hope it makes some sort of sense #actually autistic #self diagnosis #self dx #autism acceptance

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cametotheshowinsd · 1 year

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THE ROARING TWENTIES (1929) | Written + Directed by Taylor Swift *ALL-TALKING PICTURE* Flapper Clara falls in love. With a Princeton sophomore. Every night they spend together feels like a dream. All the social occasions, the scent of wine she tasted on his lips, dance floor reflecting broken mirrorball lights, tossing pennies in the pool, sneaking in campus, night walks around the Nassau Hall, joking about school dorms, long dinner that seems never end and sophisticated conversations. His innocence and passion. Her wide-eyed gazes. Breathes that felt too close in the dark. Finally, one day, the kid went down on his knees and pulled that damned rock out of his pocket. Will Clara say "yes"?

#taylor swift #tswiftedit #tswiftgif #lyrics #this is inspired by #FSF's #this side of paradise #but from a female perspective #i hope it makes sense #it's basically the 1 + champagne problems #and I feel bad for using an Amsterdam scene lmao #you can see that one is LQ bc I dont have the movie saved anywhere I dl'd that clip from Youtube lol #but that's also my fav gif in this set #that Clara (the protagonist) saw the window reflecting her own mind that she got married with the boy and she didnt like the sight of it #also that it could be her seeing her own ghost #what her life could've been #Amory seeing ghost is my favorite part in TSoP so I thought I should pay a sort of homage to that :p #the 'slave of your imagination' quote Taylor herself had quoted in 1989 era so it's essential in this gifset :)#(this has nothing to do w the recent news regarding to Taylor's personal life tho I got this idea half thru my reading of TSoP)#and it was so fun to use some old pictures scenes #they are:#mr. deeds goes to town #a farewell to arms 1932 #(which is a fountain & pool scene but it was too dark and covered by the layer of Tay & Sean kissing XD)#footlight parade #children of divorce #(Clara Bow was in the scene I used...she partly inspired my female lead)#the roaring twenties #userelena #userleah

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thebramblewood · 2 months

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Apologies for ruining your weekend.

Previous / Next

It's not necessary, but if you want to learn more about the events Grace is describing (particularly the spellcaster who sacrificed herself), it originated in another story you can read here (chrono link for desktop only). I'm sure there are some inconsistencies because I had no idea I'd be doing more with it and my storytelling was more casual and gameplay-oriented then, but it might help fill in some gaps.

[rapid knocking at the door]

Caleb: …Morgyn?

Grace: Caleb-

Caleb: Why are you in your nightgown? Are you crying?

Grace: Caleb, I-

Caleb: Where’s Morgyn? Council meetings never go this late.

Grace: [sniffling] Oh, Caleb… The Sages, they’re… they’re…

Caleb: What happened?

Grace: [strangely detached] I’d already gone home. Almost everyone had. There was an… attack. No one saw it coming. Dark magic… ancient spells… malicious… forbidden. How did he even find them?

Caleb: [impatiently] Grace, you’re not making any sense.

Grace: [distantly] The Realm is secured. Someone stopped him before he could tamper with the portals. A teacher, I think, from the children’s school. She sacrificed herself to drain his power.

Caleb: I don’t care about the goddamn Realm! What about Morgyn?

Grace: [sobbing] I’m sorry, Caleb. I’m so sorry. They were ambushed. They had no chance to defend themselves. Faba, Simeon, Morgyn… The entire Council is… dead. Oh my god. Caleb, are you okay?

Caleb: Stay back!

Grace: But-Caleb: I mean it! You’re not safe around me like this. Go home, Grace! Now.

#ts4 #sims 4 #ts4 story #sims 4 story #simblr #story: hzid #caleb vatore #grace anansi #for some reason caleb's jaw/chin area is slightly more pronounced in his human form... not sure how that happened #i hope it makes sense why his dark form takes over at the end!#it's sort of like the vampire equivalent of going into fight or flight mode #it's like their bodies' defense system so it can kick in automatically if they feel overly threatened or overwhelmed #and as a result they become more easily driven by base instincts and less in control #which is why he tells grace he's dangerous!#since he's so disciplined he would probably be able to restrain himself from hurting her but he'd rather not leave even a small opening #(and besides it's a convenient way to tell her he'd prefer to be left alone)#death tw #gif tw

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the-kipsabian · 4 months

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wrestling fic writers!!

i have decided to be the change i wanna see, so lets do a nice little thing for each other, as a community full of incredible and talented writers. yes this is writer specific only, but thats cause thats where the main problem of people not interacting with creative works lies in this fandom as far as i can tell and have seen people talking about it especially in the last couple of months

if you read this, please add links to your written works. it can be just a single fic youre really proud of, your writing blog, your writing tag, your ao3 account, anything where your works can be found

and if you leave your link here, PLEASE check out someone else that has left their works, and interact with them. leave them a comment, even just a kudos, REBLOG their fic, etc. interacting is the keyword i want to emphasize here, along with building a sort of a masterpost of where to find people writing in this fandom

and if you are not a writer, youre still highly encouraged to interact with this post and share it and show love to the writers in this fandom, obviously!! i think that should go without saying, but adding it in anyways

a bit more about my vision and resources and such under the read more, but thats the gist of it. happy linking and please be kind and supportive to each other!! 💜

nobody is too big or too small to add their things on this list. if you write and post anything in this fandom whatsoever, be it fics or drabbles or headcanons, any companies or any kind of ships or reader inserts or any content whatsoever no matter how 'dead dove dont eat' or hell even if its just meta, we welcome all here and nobody can say that one thing is less valid than another. just please tag your content accordingly, especially if theres content warnings, and feel free to mention what you write, who you write, any info you wish to leave that would help people before they click on your links. but even so, that should not and hopefully will not deter people from interacting, no matter what it is. someones trash is another ones treasure, i promise you

and unless the amount gets really overwhelming, im personally going to be checking out everyone that leaves something here. unless it squeaks me out, but even then, i'll spread the word. and i just wish as many people as possible will do the same, and not just use this as a potential board to only get eyes on their stuff. ofc thats also the point, but you should give as much, if not more, than you get. we need to be kind and supportive of one another (besides, from personal experience, if you show love to someone else, they are more likely to do it back than without you taking the first step, so... pay it forward)

as for resources, heres a few links that should be helpful in leaving comments and feedback. of course everyone does their own thing and no comment is too big or too small to leave, but for those who need them. if you have anything you'd like added to this list, dont hesitate to get in touch or drop it in the post yourself!!

101 comment starters

ao3 floating comment box

kudos html

dont know how to comment? easy solutions

a quick hot guide to commenting (by yours truly)

an overall guide to appreciating fanfic writers

and just in general.. leave people comments. leave them asks about their projects. just go over and gush about their work. i know it sounds embarrassing but writers love nothing more than to hear that someone likes what they are doing. if you find a fic that hasnt been updated in forever, comment on it. it might just be the spark the author needs to continue. while kudos and likes are nice, and just as valuable to some, its definitely in the words the people leave for them that matter the most. im not saying this to put pressure on anyone, its just how it is, and i feel like unless people are writers themselves, and even then sometimes, thats just hard to grasp, especially if the writer is a smaller and less popular one who doesnt get a lot of traffic in the first place

i think thats all. just be nice and considered to everyone, reblog peoples works, this post with others add ons and so forth. and if i find anyone talking shit here or at other writers for something they share, you'll be blocked and im probably taking your kneecaps. be fucking nice. we are all struggling here and we need to stick together

happy sharing and commenting 💜💜

#wrestling fanfiction #wrestling fic #aew fanfic #aew fanfiction #wwe fanfiction #wwe fanfic #i hope this make some sort of coherent sense #despite being a writer im really bad at words lmao #i also dont know what to tag this with without clogging main tags so im going to trust moots to get this going first #just. this is a topic im passionate about. i love writing i love writers and having seen the wrestling fandom as of late really struggling #with this. we need to do something. even a little bit helps. actually get people leaving feedback and commenting again #supporting each other. we can do this together #dont let dreams be dreams lets fucking do this #just be nice and help each other out #im gonna stop now before i get overly emotional. if theres any questions let me know tho i think i got the main parts pretty clear here #again moots. im trusting you to get this started. im not gonna add my own shit here immediately this isnt about me #this is about the community as a whole #i also hope nobody is afraid of adding themselves here. you are all valid and worth the attention no matter what #just remember to also give if you leave something here. look at the previous links. look in the notes to find more people #okay thats it i need to make dinner now #lets just be kind and support one another. promise me that 💜#night is an absolute mess on main

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howlonomy · 1 year

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Ms. 15.5%

#yttd #your turn to die #shin tsumiki #sou hiyori #sara chidouin #joe tazuna #keiji shinogi #my art #goes on a tangent about how sou felt like sara was probably just waiting to ambush the group and attack and how he had 0% and she had 15% an #super normal ab them btw. narrative foils #I HOPE THIS PIECE MAKES SOME SORT OF SENSE. im having a really hard time explaining it/myself but like. yeah.#this is shins pov so. hopefully that puts it more in perspective #saras covering ip my favorite detail on the first one but: sara image the stripes are in the shape of 15.5. sou image the tail stripes are 0 #anyways i spend 800 yrs on this and i still feel like its not very good. peace and love

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sciderman · 1 month

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I swear I have read your big post regarding Peter Parker's neurodivergence and why it is best to avoid labelling him, but he definitely has a weird brain

Can't find it and feel kinda sad about it cuz I deeply related to it

i know exactly which post you're talking about and i can't find it either! i've raked through my archive, and it's just - nowhere to be seen. i think tumblr eated it (it happens.)

really, tumblr's search functionality is so so useless, i don't know what to tell you. there are plenty of keywords i can search to find it that post, but the search functionality actually just does not work!

undiagnosed audhd-addled peter parker, my darling, my light, my life, my everything.

i think peter parker's such an interesting creature to write, because a lot of people will point to a certain behaviour about him and say "this is an autistic thing, right?" but a lot of those behaviours are actually, in my head, tied to certain traumas in peter's life too.

people say "oh, the food thing, peter's a picky eater because he's autistic" and yes, absolutely. but also it's tied to his trauma with his parents.

peter gets overstimulated, and yes, it's an autism thing, but also he was bitten by a radioactive spider and his senses are dialled to 11.

it's a similar case i've found for myself, too – where a lot of friends i have kind of diagnose me because i have autistic traits, but actually - i'm hesitant to claim the label or pursue diagnosis because, actually, i know where these certain behaviours come from, and they come from certain traumas. there are events i can pinpoint in my life and say "yep. that's where this behaviour comes from."

so - i think there's a lot of overlap between trauma and autistic traits. the brain is very complex! i think the reason for that overlap is maybe as simple as the fact that people with autism and people with trauma are both doing the same thing - developing behaviours to protect themselves or soothe themselves. so - i think it's nice to be able to see a character like peter parker, who may or may not be autistic, but recognise behaviours in him and see yourself in him.

people who go undiagnosed for whatever reason - people who are really good at masking - so good, in fact, that they have no idea they might be on the spectrum - everyone and anyone at all can look at peter parker and recognise themselves. because i think we discredit the thought that every single brain does the same thing! develops certain behaviours in order to survive. every brain has that same software - we've just all been faced with different hardships that we need to overcome, and that's were all the differences come in.

autism is a spectrum, i guess - everyone falls into it to some degree. and i think events in your life probably push you along on it. but i don't know, i didn't study brain science. probably what i'm saying is very stupid and uninformed. of course there's brain chemistry involved. but i know people in my life living with autism and certain events in their life have exacerbated certain behaviours or made coping with it a lot more difficult. so maybe trauma is a catalyst.

#a lot of my traits have been exacerbated lately and i remember it was much easier for me before #and some of my friends have said “oh it's because you've been masking too long and now you're facing autistic burnout.”#and that made sense to me i think.#but then i found out about the stress thing. me overproducing stress hormone. and that's a very physical thing.#and that explains why i've been overstimulated more than usual lately. and why everything feels like too much.#and i wonder how many of these traits of mine are going to subside once i have lamar removed #and it makes me wonder a lot of things. and it's so weird how much your brain is tied to your biology.#i wonder how much i'll change. i wonder how i'll feel. i wonder if i'll still feel like me. i wonder how much me is me right now.#and how much of me is being altered by weird freaky hormones. who am i?? who will i be??#i'm almost looking at this as like. a superhero origin story of some sort. like this is my spider-bite moment. maybe.#will i be different? will i cope with things differently?? now that my body isn't fighting something anymore??#maybe i'll be normal. i don't know. i don't know.#i don't know what it'll mean for me.#but all of these things mean i relate to peter parker in a certain kind of way #i don't think you have to be diagnosed with autism to recognise and empathise with those traits i think #i think everyone can see themselves in peter. and i think that's the benefit of having characters that aren't diagnosed.#because there's so much overlap in the human experience. and certain feelings aren't exclusive to just one group of people.#peter has such a rich identity actually. it's an autistic thing. it's a queer thing. it's a jewish thing. it's a trauma thing.#there are so many overlapping parts of peter's identity that inform who he is and how he behaves and it's never just one thing.#it's a product of all of his things.#just like me! just like everyone.#so me? i guess i can be a million things. you can explain what i am in a million different ways.#a hundred different psychologists can all come up with different ways to explain why i be the way i be.#i don't think it's something that can be simplified.#sorry wow. i'm really going off here in the tags.#i hope people don't think i'm stupid. i don't know brain science. i'm just philosophising as usual.#sci speaks

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camels-pen · 4 months

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the difference between zosopp and sanuso (romantic OR platonic) is that Usopp is Zoro's specialest little guy and Zoro is someone Usopp hangs out with and looks up to and hides behind when things get scary, but Sanji and Usopp are best friends. They horse around, they beat each other up, they confide their worst fears trying to one up each other. Usopp hides behind Sanji sometimes, sure, but idk, Sanji's weaknesses are more obvious (bugs, fighting women, etc) so there are times when Usopp has to stand in front of Sanji too, yknow?

Like, how do I say this, all the crewmates are equal- Usopp and Zoro are equals- but with Sanji it feels like more... comradery? Zoro's a rock in a terrible storm- even rocks tend to get weathered and chipped and worn down, but they overall stay strong and steady. He has trouble being vulnerable and there are times when the burden he's placed on himself to keep the crew safe is crushing his chest. Usopp would help with that and be very understanding, but the point I'm trying to get with that is that those moments are few and far between. So I feel like Usopp, especially after Water 7, would take Zoro's lead on something like that, and keep most of his worries to himself or only talk about them sparingly unless they're really bad and/or he can't hide them.

Sanji is like a tree in a storm; he can be strong, yes, but it feels like he bends and sways with the storm, and has more obvious breaking points. He can relate more to Usopp's struggles rather than resorting to blunt honesty that might border on callous like Zoro. And while, with Zosopp, I tend to think of scenarios with Zoro being blunt like that as a good thing- because sometimes when you're spiraling, it's nice to have someone say exactly what's great about you and shoot down all your worries with straight facts that you can't argue with- I can also see this as being a bad thing. Anxiety can really twist up your brain sometimes, you know? And despite the words, the tone could still mess someone up if they're already feeling like a burden on others in some way.

With Sanuso it's a lot more understanding and thoughtful words. It's distractions and comfort food and patience- the kind reserved for Usopp- until Usopp talks about whatever's troubling him. Compared to Zosopp, it doesn't take as long for Usopp to open up, since he's done the same thing to Sanji at times and it's more familiar to him to talk and commiserate with Sanji about his worries and doubts and such. However, there are times stuff like this has absolutely no effect and Sanji will end up at a loss, no idea what to do or how to help over the course of several days with Usopp being quiet and keeping his distance, and he'll end up working himself up about it which will only serve to make Usopp feel worse and. yeah. bit of a vicious cycle with them.

So it's like. Usopp can be weak with both of them, but since I see Sanji as the type of guy who'd be more open with his worries (at least compared to Zoro), there's less of a need to 'perform' and be his best self around him. He's comfortable around Zoro, yes, but he is constantly wanting to show that he won't be a problem to him. On the other hand, while he's more open with Sanji, and Sanji with him, they tend to relate a bit too much with each other and they both have issues with causing trouble for others and being 'deserving of love' so failed attempts at consoling one hurts the other and creates an unpleasant cycle of misery and avoidance before some other crewmate (Zoro) tells them to quit being stupid and just fucking talk to each other.

#one piece #sanuso #zosopp #long post #nemotime #does this make sense or is this the ramblings of a person who's only got 3 hrs sleep #bc thats me. 3 hrs sleep. ugh #listen okay its like. zosopp has their own growing pains to get through yknow? zoro will eventually get the whole #'oh usopp isnt as open with me bc he wants to seem tough and is also kind of doing the same thing i do. thats bad for him'#and it'll be a whole thing about making a promise between the two of them to try and be more honest with their fears and seeking help #when they need it #the sanuso thing is like. i hope i didnt mean to make it seem like sanuso is 'better' or w/e bc its just a different thing #sanuso got their own problems to sort out. 1. Sanji's everything 2. boundaries on special treatment-#i'm not gonna go seriously into this but both relationships start out not the best and get better over time yknow #also i know usopp's afraid and freaking out a lot but for this post i meant his deeper fears and insecurities #not 'i've got can't-go-on-this-island disease' lmao #the tl;dr of this post is: Usopp is more closed off with Zosopp. Usopp and Sanji have similar issues that cause problems with Sanuso.#also the way i see these ships will probably change at some point. who knows #there was a post i saw recently that was like 'hey sanuso bc romance trio were already chill with each other so sanuso became chill with #each other in an 'alone together' type of way and also they have the same issues' and i thought 'wow so true bestie' and here we are #also. man. usopp taking on / copying the behaviours of his loved ones regardless of his age is just. my jam. in a positive or negative way #maybe i'll make a post about that explaining it more. maybe

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cuubism · 1 year

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"Nice place you have here," says Desire, sliding into the booth opposite Hob.

Hob, unfortunately, recognizes them by voice alone. Desire speaks with the melody of an arpeggio, smoothed into oblivion by the sustained press of a piano pedal. Drag without release, in comparison to Dream's resounding deep notes.

"Never seen you here before," Hob says, instead of get out of my pub. He doesn't actually need to start a fight.

"I've decided to respect my brother's play set for now," Desire says archly, as if this is a huge consideration on their part. "He's been through so much recently, after all."

"And you've been so much help with that," Hob says.

Something dangerous flashes briefly in Desire's eyes, and Hob remembers how fickle they can be. Like fire, Dream had said.

Then it subsides. "Careful, Robert," they say easily, leaning on their hand, "one might think you've chosen a side."

No thinking about it, Hob thinks. "Families shouldn't have sides."

"Oh, ours isn't supposed to," Desire agrees. "And yet."

And yet. "Is there something in particular that has you breaking your self-imposed generosity today?"

It's one day before his and Dream's usual meeting, after all. That can't be a coincidence. Technically, they meet all the time now, but they always keep June 7th for nostalgia's sake.

"I simply enjoy the atmosphere," says Desire, leaning back in their chair. They thrust out a hand, and a rainbow flag flutters off the wall into their grasp, drawn by their whims. Desire drapes it over their shoulders.

"I guess that makes sense," Hob says.

Desire raises an eyebrow.

Hob gestures at them. "Desire. Isn't that your thing?"

They give him a crafty smile, a little teeth, that suggests Hob's going to learn something he may not entirely like. "Well, it is certainly of interest to me."

"Of interest," Hob echoes. Might as well say fire was "of interest" to a pyromaniac. "Isn't that what you do? Dream makes dreams, and..." he trails off.

"I am Desire," they say. "So, in a way, I feel all desires at all times. Yes, even yours, Robert." They pat him on the cheek, and wink. "I know what you feel."

Hob's cheeks heat, but Desire doesn't linger on it, thankfully.

"But, my own desire? Hm, no, not in the way you would think."

"But you--" Hob doesn't know how to phrase the confusion in his mind.

Desire runs their tongue along their lower lip. "Are you calling me a slut, Robert?"

"Would take one to know one, I suppose," Hob says before he can even think about it, and Desire laughs, bright and loud.

"You are so cute. You would be delicious if you weren't obsessed with Dream. But, no. I can feel desired," Desire says, emphasizing the past tense. The objective nature of it. "But that, while certainly tasty, is not quite the same as feeling it oneself, now is it?"

What might it be like, Hob thinks, feeling a pang of sympathy for them despite how they've treated Dream, how he'd automatically marked them as an enemy in his mind, to be surrounded by wanting and not be able to feel it?

"I... guess not," he says. "So you don't want anything?"

Desire shrugs. "I enjoy things. But if I can't have them, it simply passes like--" they pull off the flag and let it flutter to the floor "-- a gust of wind. And I move on to something else. Otherwise, I chase others' desires. Your inn is full of them. Desires for peace, for belonging, for change and magic and-- yes, lust, too, but more of an undertone. It is..." they run their tongue over their teeth, thinking. "Aromatic."

"What does desire 'taste' like?" Hob asks.

"Why don't you tell me," Desire says.

"I'm not going to lick you," Hob says, and Desire cackles.

"Open offer," they say. "Be all metaphorical like Dream, then."

"Alright, fine." Hob decides to indulge them, because he has actually learned something interesting today. "It's like... the smell of a good meal. You don't quite... taste it, exactly? But you can imagine tasting it."

"Good answer," says Desire, and steals his drink for a sip. "I knew I could count on you to listen, Hob."

Hob's not sure if it's the tone, like something long undecided has now been settled, or if it's the use of his old nickname, but suddenly the afternoon tilts, and Hob realizes with a swoop in his stomach that they're here for a purpose, and not just poking at Dream.

The Endless almost never communicate directly, Hob knows this. Goddammit.

"I've spent a lot of time in these sorts of places, you know," Desire says, gesturing around. "They are right--" they interlace their fingers in example "--in the center of my realm."

"Depending on the year, I would have thought you and Despair together," Hob says, wary now that he's realized this is coming to some sort of point.

"A common assumption," Desire says, nodding like a teacher whose student is getting on the right track. "See, people often think my twin and I are opposites. Desire, Despair." They hold out both hands separately again, then clasp them. "But they don't have it right. Hope is the opposite of Despair. Do you know what the opposite of Desire is?" They reach across the table to tap their sharp nails against his sternum. "Shame."

"And that's... part of your domain, as well?" Hob guesses.

"Indeed. Who could know shame as well as one who desires? They both--" they lay their hand flat to his heart "--live here."

Hob supposes he himself has had plenty of desires over the years, and plenty of shame too -- though not necessarily over the same matters.

"Hence," they spread their hands wide, "my presence. The duality of Desire."

"So what do you do?" Hob asks. "When you're here because of shame, I guess."

"I am always both," says Desire. "But." They smile sweetly, and it actually does look sweet, for once. "I am merely here to hold your hand."

Hob must look at them with an expression of vague disgust, for they snort and roll their eyes.

"Not you, Robert. You!" They gesture broadly at the entire inn. "Death is always going on and on about serving humanity. I know how to do my job too, you know."

They frown at him, at the idea he might think otherwise, and it's-- it's actually kind of sweet, how much they care about this. It really is.

"That's sweet," he says, and Desire grumbles. Hob can't help but smile.

"I take the charge of those who live in the heart of Desire very seriously," they sniff. Their gaze slants over Hob's shoulder, watching something across the room. "Relatedly, if that man at the bar follows through on his desire to say something homophobic to those children on their date, I am going to shoot him."

"Ooookaaayyy," Hob says, snapping his fingers in front of their eyes until their attention turns back to him. Hob's bartender will handle any issues; he would really rather not have an Endless making a scene.

Desire smiles placidly at him. "What was I saying? Ah, yes. Desire and shame go hand in hand. Almost like dreams and nightmares, you might say."

Hob goes still again, on instinct. "Right."

"My sister and I are very close, even if we are not, actually, opposites. Dream and I were close, once." They drag their finger around the rim of Hob's glass. "Wanting. Dreaming. So similar, and yet, so different, too. It hurts, to really let yourself want what you've dreamt of. It hurts to desire, don't you think? It's sharp, like a blade."

"Yes," Hob says. "It is."

"Mmm. But shame... shame is like a heavy, warm blanket. It makes you want to just--" they mime pulling fabric over their head-- "disappear. My brother and I have a very complicated relationship. Perhaps, one day, we will be on better terms again, and he can tell me about his desires, and I can tell him about my dreams. I would love to know what it feels like."

Hob isn't sure if he's putting the pieces of this meandering conversation together correctly, but whatever he is picking up on, he doesn't like the sound of.

"Dream is always going on and on and on and on about the importance of dreams and it's so annoying but you know what? I'm starting to think he's right." They give Hob a warning glance. "Do not tell him I said that. But, yes, I'm afraid that desires without dreams hand in hand are just--" they slide their hand across the table and let it stop at the edge. "Impotent. Static. And god knows what good dreams even are without desire but Dream will never admit that."

"So you're what," Hob says, even though he knows this is not what this is about, "trying to mending fences?"

Desire smiles sunnily. "I just want him to call me. I'm bored, and he's spent far too much time in my sister's realm recently."

Then they stand in one fluid motion.

"What are you saying," Hob asks. He feels sort of faint, whiplashed.

"Oh, I've said nothing, I'm doing nothing. I merely don't want to have to fill an empty seat next June, that is all. I'll be far too busy." They wink, and then they're gone.

Hob sits still for a long time, after. He's still not sure he understood... all of that. He understands that the Endless aren't supposed to interfere in each other's affairs and that sometimes riddles result.

What he does understand is that if Desire, of all people, has decided to be helpful, then he definitely has something to be concerned about. Something he needs to do something about.

He shakily drains the rest of his glass, then stands. Hob has never gotten anywhere by being static.

Time to go try to do something about it.

#this might not make a goddamn lick of sense i'm sorry #i'm just thinking constantly about the idea of the endless not experiencing their own realm #the idea of hob as a person almost defined by hunger and desire as basically the personification of hunger? but who can't feel it themself?#compelling to me #and also desire and dream's relationship which is so fascinating to me bc listen there is still love there i know there is I KNOW THERE IS #also. maybe desire as a character as a sort of patron saint of queerness. idk just throwing stuff at the wall #hoping i remembered correctly that hob and dream's meeting is in june otherwise thisll be realll awkward #hob gadling #my writing #desire of the endless #seriously does this make any sense. any?#hm ok what i've determined is this only makes even some sense if you're like. mired in sandman meta XD and know a fair amount of comic #spoilers. ok i can live with that

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magpigment · 8 months

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the thematic parallels of martyn picking his battles and staying out of certain conflicts/having the upper hand because he listens in on conversations compulsively and frequently, versus grian getting INTO conflicts and battles and shenanigans because he can’t help but watch constantly and usually gets caught, and when he doesn’t get caught he ends up meddling anyway and causing even more chaos.

fundamentally, martyn does joke around, he does things for the hell of it, but ultimately he always has some plan, is always wary, and is willing to do whatever it takes to see the games through to the end; his goal is just making it out, no matter the cost. martyn only listens as a means to an end- he’s more than capable of surviving in other ways, as he’s proven by being one of the last four players on the server the past Three Life Games, but he’s compelled to listen, to play it safe, to be underestimated. martyn doesn’t really care about any of his allies, not truly. he’d betray most in a heartbeat, honestly, if we don’t count ren. and even then, if it came down to either martyn or ren, while martyn would pick himself any day, ren is the one ally i think he truly, deeply cared about. it’s a life or death situation, and martyn treats it as such, picking his loyalties but never dying for them.

grian, however, does what is interesting, what is appealing; a lot of what he does is a performance, progressing the plot; he’s both the consumer and the producer of the entertainment. grian loves watching, it’s a part of who he is, but he loves playing the game for what it is, loves influencing the outcome, far more. grian treats the world like the game it is, but his loyalties run deep

martyn the listener trying to survive v grian the watcher in it for the ride.

#dandy talks #trafficblr #traffic smp #this is very half baked and not entirely finished but i wrote this very late at night several months ago and just remembered it #hope this makes some sort of sense tho lol #life smp grian #life smp martyn #martyn itlw #grian #watcher grian #listener martyn #dandy writes

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twinge-of-cosmicangst · 5 months

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#doctor who #rose Tyler #Clara Oswald #I hope this question makes sense I’m just interested to see if there’s some sort of correlation #NineRose #TenRose #whoffle #whoffaldi #the ninth doctor #the tenth doctor #the eleventh doctor #the twelfth doctor

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thelostgirl21 · 8 months

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"...there’s something star-crossed about these two. There is a deep connection there, but the turmoil, war and politics of this world are pretty intent on pulling them away from each other." - Joey Batey (x)

Yeah...

Just so you know, if you're a guy with a 3 syllable name that begins with "R", and you so happen to experience a strong case of love at first sight for someone that sort of happens to be named "Juliet" or "Julian", you might find yourself facing a few obstacles getting in the way of your relationship.

Just saying!

#Jaskier #a.k.a.#Julian Alfred Pankratz #Radovid #Radskier #The Witcher #Romeo + Juliet #Radovid + Julian #I sense a pattern...#Thankfully since Joey was quite adamant he didn't want to do the romance if they were planning on going with queer stereotypes #I'm assuming they'll be avoiding to go the “bury your gays” route with these two #Also read an article at some point where he mentioned that it felt important to make sure that the queer romance would feel as significant #and important and have as much influence on what happens in the show as the heterosexual ones (I'm assuming Yenralt).#So that's sort of why I'm cautiously hopeful they'll work things out...#And continue to further develop the romance in future Seasons...#And yeah... For people that are familiar with the books let's simply say that we have a really good reason to wish for Jaskier #to have someone that truly loves him to take care of him and support him through certain rougher times ahead...#Trust me on this it's not a want it's a freaking need #I won't be able to emotionally survive the end of the series if it sticks to the canon book ending if Radovid isn't there #and they don't give these two some sort of a happy ending...#My Posts #My Stuff

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puhpandas · 1 month

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ideal ggy reveal for me right now is some sort of game whatever format theyd use (for example sb vs hw is very different storytelling) about vanny killing dr rabbit and it leads up to the beginning of sb at the end

#like more vanny shows rab in a game therefore making ggy canon for sure explains why gregory was in the pizzaplex #would show one of the stepping stones vanny took to get to glitchtrap to kill him like she killed rab #it just makes sense to me #also works for vanny cassie #since rab will be no threat since hes dead so vanny has the spotlight #and gregory with his connection to cassie feels guilt over letting the same thing that happned to him and his family happen to her #so now he feels responsible to help her #leading to a game with gregory protag and vanessa and freddy co-protag/guides #im just explaining the secret little future fnaf game storyline im hoping for in my head #i just feel like if vanny cassie is real #which it RLLY seems like it is after hw2 #revealing ggy before some sort of action would be taken would mean a lot #for gregory and cassies relationship #he would uave been in her boat and feel guilt for not being fast enough to save her from tbe same fate #i know vanessa would work better because she was vanny but she has no connection or friendship with cassie like gregory does #and it gives ggy some importance too #that is kinda more to serve the cassie plot than to make ggy more important or overshadowing vanny #not that ggy could overshadow vanny if vanny cassie is happening lol #pandas.txt #thoughts #theory #kinda #im just being hopeful #by hw2s dlc things will be so different #its so impossible to guess whatll happen in a fnaf game #and what will change #superstar duo #ggy #this is ALSO heavily based on a theory of mine that vanny killed rab @ the beginning of sb and thats why greg was at the pizzaplex #and how he got freed and why rab is nowhere to be found

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heyclickadee · 10 months

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I kind of love how, throughout Rebels, Ezra will just be minding his own business, and the Force will come along and decide to swing The Portents through his head like a two-by-four to the skull.

#ezra bridger #‘I hope he comes back weird’ I say as though he wasn’t already #this kid gets visions and whatnot all the time #allllll the time #he’s just very keyed in to the part of the force that does that for some reason #which I guess means it makes sense that #he’s end up in the WBW #which isn’t really time travel as much as it’s just #the extreme version of the part of the force that allows visions to happen #because it’s sort of outside time #kinda #outside something anyway

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eevylynn · 2 months

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🔥 for Teen Wolf, please :)

From this

Sorry that it's been a while

I've literally been thinking about this since I got this ask. I haven't been in the fandom long enough to really feel confident on what my unpopular opinions would be.

I guess that I like Sterek AND Stydia AND Stalia. I don't think Derek would have been comfortable if he had been the only one Stiles had been with considering Derek's teenaged years. He'd want Stiles to have some experience before being with him, so I think it's ridiculous to put down Stiles' previous relationships.

Also, Stiles being "mom" or the "pack mom" - why can't he be "pack dad"? You can have two dads... Seriously, enough with saying "Stiles is Eli's mom".

Overall, it's a bit of a pet peeve of mine when people insist on Stiles being "the girl" of the relationship. As many say, he's a "feral bastard boy". He's a mean, if socially awkward, jock with nerdy interests who doesn't respect personal boundaries, like AT ALL. He's extremely parentified and so he will make sure everyone he cares about stays alive, but that doesn't automatically mean he's nurturing. Just look at his canon relationships with Liam and Isaac. He cares for their wellbeing, yes, but he is NOT nice about it.

I think that while Sterek are both versatile once together, Stiles would be the more dominant in bed and Derek would be more submissive. Derek was born a middle child beta wolf in a huge pack, and is thrust into a leadership position and is all alone. He wants/needs to be taken care of. After the Nogitsune, I think Stiles has even more control issues than he previously had and is a lot more aware of his dark side. Not to mention, Stiles is like the definition of Power Bottom.

I think people infantilize Malia. Just because she was a wolf for 8 years, it doesn't mean she's still, mentally, a child. She just doesn't understand human society. Considering the amount of autistic people that are the same way, it really annoys me to see.

I also think that Allison is overrated. <-probably my most unpopular opinion...

I can't think of any others right now. I think

#i hope this rambling nonsense makes some sort of sense #idk #stiles stilinski #sterek #asks #eevysasks #teen wolf #stydia #stalia #malia tate #derek hale

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thetarttfuldickhead · 8 months

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do you think how Jamie reacted to Roy and Keeley's teasing at the auction in 1x04 was related to his trauma from his Dad making him loose his virginity to a lady from the red light district? and do you think after the three of them officially get together, that they ever talk about that?

Tricky one, nonny, because as much as I tend towards Watsonian explanations over Doylist ones, in this particular case I can’t quite disregard the fact that I am not at all convinced that Jamie’s Amsterdam backstory was in place when 1x04 was written. It might have been, sure, but… yeah, I doubt it, actually.

And, like, in hindsight, after 3x06, it’s hard not to connect Jamie’s discomfort at the gala with his experiences in Amsterdam. Even if he doesn’t consciously join the dots himself, even if he’s not yet realized that the experience was traumatic to him (and I think 3x06 does suggest that it was, even if it’s possibly to argue otherwise), the notion of having to have sex with someone he doesn’t want to have sex with, especially when they’re that much older (not because having sex with old people is gross, obviously, but because it would mirror the experience he had as a child), would have made him deeply uneasy.

I mean, it would make most of us deeply uneasy, so that’s not the strange part. The strange part, really, is that Jamie believes – if only for a little while – Roy and Keeley’s assertion that he’ll need to put out. Becaue, yes, Jamie’s not always the brightest, but of course the club’s not actually pimping out the players. He knows that, surely. But for a moment he isn’t sure – and maybe that’s because it’s already happened to him, hasn’t it? Not quite like this, no, but money exchanged and him required to fuck someone he had not chosen to fuck. So, yes, things like that can happen and maybe they do happen at Richmond because Jamie didn’t see it coming the first time either, did he, but no, it’s just a fucking joke, Roy and Keeley having a laught and he looks like a right idiot now, doesn’t he, for having believed them, and he can’t even articulate (not even to himself, I think) why he thought, for a moment, that maybe…

Yeah. Makes a horrible sort of sense, doesn’t it?

So, in hindsight I think we can read his reaction being at least partially related to what was done to him in Amsterdam, and normally I’d be perfectly happy with that, actual text over authorial intent, but in this case I can’t stop wondering about what it all was originally intended to mean (if, indeed, the Amsterdam part was not known to the writers at the time of writing 1x04). Maybe it intrigues me because it has the potential to reveal more and interesting things about Jamie? I don’t know, and I don’t have any real theories either, just… something about football players being used to getting sold and traded, something about his sense of self and value directly tied to his body and what he can do with it, time spent creating his brand and the slight disassociation and/or confusion between self and image it can cause (even as I think that Jamie has a very strong sense of self generally). Given all of that, is it so outlandish for him to briefly assume that maybe this too might be required? Especially given his experiences in Amsterdam… Can be a mix of the two, really. Maybe that’s the interpreation I mostly favour.

As for if they ever talk about it... I don’t necessarily think it’s something Jamie would bring up and I doubt Roy immediately connects the dots once he hears Jamie’s tale of his first Amsterdam trip. Keeley, I think, doesn’t know what happened in the Red Light District; to me, Jamie telling Roy reads very much like a ‘first time I ever told anyone’ thing, but that’s obviously open to interpretation.

But say something reminds Roy of that gala dinner, and what was said then. Maybe they’re getting ready to attend it once more and this time they’re dead pleased to be seated at the same table, making little jokes about can you fucking imagine if someone would have told us then that this is where we’d end up and could have saved ourselves so much trouble if we’d just gone home together that night and Keeley playfully reminds Jamie that he doesn’t actually have to sleep with someone if he doesn’t want to and Jamie pouts like that shit wasn’t funny but he’s laughing too because it was long ago and they’re here now and he doesn’t tend to dwell –

– but Roy goes quiet because wait hang on oh no fuck no, and he doesn’t say anything right away, they need to get going and he’s not sure is he, and he keeps on saying nothing throughout the dinner, and behind the still face he is quietly spiralling as he watches Jamie’s every move like a hawk, every twitch of his lips and every roll of his eyes.

Jamie and Keeley both notice, and are both confused. They keep exchanging glances and when Nate’s off to the loo and Jade’s done her disappeaering act and Sam and Dani drag Jamie off to join the rest of the team for a round of shots, Keeley takes the opportunity to lean in and ask what’s going on, Roy, are you okay?

He’ll tell her then, I think, and that’s not great – not his story to share – but it’s eating at him and there’s no one else for him to confide in and Keeley is part of it too, so yes. He tells her; she’s upset but still the voice of reason; no matter what happened that night Jamie’s doing fine right now, he’s having a great time with his friends and we shouldn’t ruin that for him, but come tomorrow we’ll have a proper chat all three of us, okay, sort things out?

And come tomorrow, they do.

#had more thoughts on this than i expected to #hope they make some sort of sense to you nonny - thank you for the ask!#i'd love to hear other people's thoughts on this #because i'm not fully committed to any of these musings #like i have thoughts - apparently - but i'm very prepared to change my mind if presented with compelling arguments as to why i should #1x04 #3x06 #jamie tartt #roy kent #keeley jones #royjamiekeeley #roy x jamie x keeley #asks

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