#honestly our last good conversation was probably when i was laying on the couch in the porch room listening to while my guitar gently weeps | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

taestefully-in-luv · 3 years

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Always You | JJK (Drabble#3)

Summary: You have yet to tell Jungkook your big news and he might not take it so well.

Pairing: Always You!Jungkook x female reader

Genre: Angst!!! Smut!!! And fluff too hehe

Word count: 7.3k (I am SO sorry)

Warnings: sad Jungkook, jealous oc, panic attack, oral (male and female receiving), fingering, unprotected sex, multiple orgasms, multiple positions, cum eating, scratching, marking, overstimulation, mentions of anal (sorry if I forgot any)

Notes: sorry this is long for a drabble! I actually managed to get it down to 7k wooo. Also pls don’t be that mad at oc:) hehe. Make sure to send an ask if you want to chat:) ily guys

Taglist: @seagulljk

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The record shop is busier than usual this evening…Yoongi has tried his best to stop by yours and Taehyung’s table to chat but another customer keeps walking in one after the other. You chuckle, waving him off, telling him to work.

“And Jungkook doesn’t know?” Taehyung frowns at you, “Like, this is huge y/n. And you haven’t told him?”

“Not yet, at least.” You admit, bringing your coffee mug to your lips. “I’m going to have to eventually though right…”

“Who else doesn’t know?”

“Everyone knows actually.”

“Oh girl, that’s not good.”

“What do you mean?” you bring the coffee mug back to the table, your fingers strumming the side of the mug.

“You’re telling me he is the last to know? That’s just…not going to sit right with him and you know that.”

Fuck, he’s right. Jungkook is your best friend, your boyfriend, the man you live with, the man you love…and he has no idea you’re about to move to another country. You got accepted to work in Japan for a year and you could not be more excited. But there’s this huge weight on your entire body, the weight equal to one man.

“I know, shit, but I just can’t. He’s going to act so supportive but I know how disappointed he will be. I mean, we just started living together recently you know? Our relationship is going so nicely and I don’t want to ruin that.” You rant, a frown pulling down your lips.

“I finally finished with my last customer.” You hear Yoongi walk up to your little corner of the record shop. “What are we talking about?” he pulls up his chair and sits down.

“y/n still hasn’t told Jungkook about Japan.”

“Still?” Yoongi looks disappointed to say the least. “y/n…”

“Guys, I know!” you throw your hands up, “I’m fucking up.”

“Wait, do the others know that Jungkook doesn’t know?”

“I didn’t necessarily announce that it’s a secret…” you bite your bottom lip, worry filling your body, “And he’s with Jin, Namjoon and Hobi tonight.”

“You should text them and tell them.”

“But it’s not the first time he’s hanging around them since I told them…so maybe I just don’t come up in conversation?” you respond hopefully.

“Yeah, not likely. Jungkook always finds a way to talk about you.” Tae grumbles. “Trust us, we would know.”

“Yeah, he’s right.” Yoongi agrees, “Listen, you need to tell him before he finds out from someone else.”

“I’ll tell him…” you pick up your mug and take a sip, “Tonight.”

~~~~~~

Your apartment is dark and there’s no sign of life—Jungkook must still be out with the guys. You sigh in relief because although you said you would tell him tonight you are already chickening out. You know, you know. A cowards move. But honestly, it’s hard!

Right as you think you’re in the clear, you hear the front door opening from behind you. Jungkook is whistling some tune as he walks in and he lights up when he sees you.

“Baby.” He sings out, walking closer to you. “Hi.” He says before leaning down and pecking your lips.

“Hi, how was your night?” you ask as you slip off your shoes and head towards the bedroom.

“It was nice.” Jungkook continues to whistle, “How was yours? How are Tae and Yoongi? Anything new?”

“No, just the usual.” You shimmy out of your pants and slip off your shirt, leaving you in some panties and a bralette. You walk out of your room and into the bathroom to turn on the shower. The water is cold but is quickly heating up as you turn the knob, you enjoy how hot it’s getting.

“Should I join you?” You hear Jungkook say from behind you. He snakes his arms around your waist and kisses your neck.

“If you want babe.”

“I want you to want me to.” He pouts, “So, I’ll ask again…should I join you?”

You can’t help but giggle, turning around in his grasp and pulling at his shirt.

“Yes, please.” You say as he lifts his arms up for you to lift his shirt off. You eye your boyfriend over, his muscles look so strong and honestly? Did they get bigger? He has been hitting the gym more. His tattoos cover one of his arms and it’s such a sexy sight. You trace your fingers over his body art and he smiles down at you.

“Like what you see?”

“You know I do.” You breathe out and he reaches behind you and unclasps your bra.

“I like what I see too.” He says as your breasts are freed. “God, I love your tits.”

“The water is probably ready.” You smirk, sliding your panties down. Jungkook’s eyes follow your movement, he watches as the panties get dragged down leg by leg.

“Then let’s get in.” He’s taking off his own pants and boxers in one go, leaving him completely naked for you.

The two of you step in the shower, letting the hot water wash over your entire bodies. He lets you go under first as he squirts some shampoo in his palm.

“C’mere.” He commands. You step out from under the water and he massages the shampoo into your scalp, creating a bubbly mess. Then you go back under to rinse, this continues for the conditioner as well and then he’s soon washing your body with body wash, making sure he gets every corner and crevice of your body. Then you do the same for him, he loves when you wash his hair, your nails scratching at his scalp has him groaning.

“Missed you tonight.” He says quietly, “You missed me?”

“When am I not missing you?” you lean up to kiss him. He doesn’t let you lean away though as he leans in further to kiss you deeper. The water dribbles down your faces as you two have your lips moving quickly against one another. He nips at your bottom lip before his tongue tangles with yours, you moan into his mouth and he swallows it.

“Gonna fuck you?” he asks impatiently. His hard cock slipping between your folds as he grinds into you.

“Yes.” You respond breathlessly. “Yes.”

~~~~~~~

You slip on one of Jungkook’s t shirts and a fresh pair of panties and slide into bed. You find yourself in your boyfriends strong, warm arms. You lay your head down on his chest and listen to his heart beat. It’s racing. Why?

“Jungkook—”

“So anything new?” Jungkook cuts you off, his heart doing a million things.

You’re quiet for a few moments before you speak up again.

“Nope.”

You hear Jungkook sigh out heavily…then he’s moving from beneath you and getting up to turn on the lamp.

“You sure?”

“I’m sure?” You sit up on your elbows, confusion drawn on your face.

“y/n…” you hear him softly warn, “I’m giving you a chance to tell me.”

“Tell you what? I have nothing to tell you?”

That’s the moment you think you can physically see Jungkook’s heart break in his chest. His face falls dramatically as a frown takes over.

“Nothing at all?” he asks quietly and that’s when you know. He knows.

“What are you talking about, Jungkook?” you decide to say instead of the truth and his face twists into a look of disappointment.

“Were you ever going to tell me?” he looks down at his hands, “That you are apparently fucking moving? To japan?”

You feel yourself go pale.

“I—”

“I have known for a few weeks.” Jungkook admits, “I’ve been giving you time to tell me but it came up again tonight…and I just couldn’t wait anymore. But it seems like you were never going to tell me.” He grits out. “Were you?” His voice is pleading now. “y/n, were you just going to leave without saying anything?”

“What? No! Of course not!” you rush to say, “I just—”

“And you told literally everyone else except for me. Why am I the last to know? Shouldn’t I have been the first person you told? Didn’t you want to like, discuss it with me first? Or did you just make the decision immediately that you’re moving there without even considering me?” he sounds so pained, like speaking isn’t something he excels at.

“Jungkook, what do you mean discuss it with you? It’s my decision,”

He looks at you incredulously, his eyes wetting with tears.

“Of course its your decision at the end of the day but we should still have discussed it! We live together, we are planning a future together!” he cries out. “Or were you going to break up with me?”

“What?! Jungkook no—”

“Maybe that would be for the best, you can’t even tell me something like this—”

“Jungkook stop.” You feel your eyes gloss over, and a few tears slide down your face. “Don’t even talk about breaking up.”

“Why not?” He spits out, “You don’t even tell me shit or consider me in the big things in your life.”

“That’s not true…” you cry. “I was just scared. I thought you would be more supportive…”

“The problem isn’t Japan, y/n.” Jungkook states. “It’s the fact that you couldn’t even tell me about it or discuss it with me. We can make this work but you didn’t even give me a chance to try.” Tears prick his eyes as he speaks and you feel yourself go numb. You fucked up, you should have told him…but you don’t think either way would have been easy.

“I’m sleeping on the couch tonight.”

“Wait! No…” you grab for his hand and he exhales deeply.

“Let go of me, y/n.”

“No.” you say, your stubbornness taking over. “No.”

“Why not?” he asks, using his other hand to wipe at his face.

“I love you Jungkook, and I’m sorry.”

“I love you too, y/n. But I’m mad.” He says, tugging his hand away from you. “I need some space.”

~~~~~

“Space?” Jimin asks with a frown, “Don’t you leave in like a month? Isn’t space the last thing you guys should have?”

“You’d think so. But it’s been 5 days Jimin.” You take a swig of your beer and wince at the bitter flavor. “He’s pissed.”

“And he has every right to be, babe.” Jimin points out, “Full offense but you fucked up.”

“I know…” you tug on your hair, “Last time I gave him space he didn’t talk to me for three months…” you say, worry laced in your voice. “How do I know he won’t disappear on me again?” you choke out, “That would fucking crush me. I need to talk to him.”

“I know where he’s at tonight.” Jimin admits softly, “Should we go?”

You nod your head as Jimin stands up and grabs his keys, he walks towards the front door and glances over at you.

“Coming?”

“Yes.”

You and Jimin pull up to some bar downtown, it’s in a shadier part of town and you wonder how Jungkook ended up in a place like this. You guys get inside and see Jungkook and Taehyung sitting at the bar with 3 girls surrounding them. You can’t help the way your chest tightens at the sight. Jimin looks over at you and offers you a soft smile.

“They come here to talk to girls?” you bitterly question.

“Does it look like Jungkook is even sparing one of them a glance? He just came with Tae.” Jimin defends and you roll your eyes, you still can’t help but feel irritated.

Jungkook sits here at the bar with a whiskey, taking sip after sip. He looks tired to say the least, he looks plain tired. He doesn’t even notice you coming up to them, he just takes another sip of his drink.

“Why doesn’t your friend talk?” One of the girls slurs out, “I want to talk to him.”

“Oh him?” Taehyung points at Jungkook, “He has a….y/n.” his eyes widen when he spots you.

“A y/n?” the girl asks, clearly confused.

“Yes, a me.” You say harshly, “His girlfriend.”

Jungkook hears your voice and sighs out, setting his drink down. He slowly turns in his bar stool to face you, his tired face becoming even more tired.

“What are you doing here?” he slurs out. “I said I needed space.”

“So you two are broken up then?” the girl asks, “Don’t call yourself his girlfriend—”

“She is my girlfriend.” Jungkook rolls his eyes, “I just needed some time to think.”

“Oh? With all these girls around?” you spit out. “This what you do when you need space?” You place your hands on your hips. “Talk to other girls?”

Jungkook looks at you like you’ve lost your mind, he shakes his head with a frown,

“Does it look like I’m talking to them?” he asks you, incredulously.

“It’s been 5 days Jungkook, how much space do you need? Need another three months?” he hears your voice crack as you speak and he feels himself deflate.

“Baby, I wouldn’t—”

“You wouldn’t do that?” You ask, tears pricking the corners of your eyes, “You’ve done it before.”

Jungkook stands from his bar stool and walks towards you, grabs your hand and leads you outside.

“Let’s go home.” He says softly, “We can talk.”

Jungkook pulls out his phone and orders an uber. The ride gets here within 5 minutes…you two stay silent the whole ride over to your apartment.

Once the uber pulls up to your apartment, Jungkook takes your hand and interlocks your fingers as you two exit the vehicle.

The walk up to the apartment is only a couple minutes, those are silent as well. He keeps his tight grip on your hand though, never letting go.

“We’re home.” Jungkook whispers when you two get inside. “We should drink some water.”

You nod your head in agreeance, heading towards the kitchen. Jungkook follows behind you, he watches your figure as you stumble forward. He exhales a deep, deep breath and rolls his eyes. You’re a little more tipsy than he first thought and he thought he was sort of drunk.

“y/n…maybe we should just get some sleep…”

“No, you said we were going to talk!” You yell out over your shoulder as you reach for two glasses for water. You grab the pitcher from the fridge and pour you and Jungkook a glass. He comes up behind you, and takes a glass and begins drinking it back slowly.

“I still think we should sleep on it tonight—”

“Oh? You on the couch? And me alone in the room?” you spit out, “That’s how we’re going to ‘sleep’ on it?”

“Alright, you obviously want to talk—”

“Yeah, no fucking shit.”

“Hey…” Jungkook winces, “You don’t have to cuss at me.” He says softly, “Let’s just talk.”

“How long were you going to go without talking to me, hm?”

“Maybe as long as you didn’t tell me about Japan?” Jungkook snaps. He doesn’t mean to snap, of course. But he’s starting to become frustrated. You look at him with shocked eyes, feeling guilty all of the sudden. Maybe you deserved that.

“Jungkook I said I’m sorry—”

“Maybe sorry isn’t good enough.” He grits out, “You kept something so important from me, and didn’t even think it was something we should discuss together. As a couple…as a team.”

You breathe out, trying to calm yourself, the guilt beginning to eat you alive. As a team?

“I was serious…” he begins, his chest starting to heave. “We can make it work if you’re wanting to go abroad. But y/n you have to actually tell me so we can seriously discuss it.” His pained expression feels like a stab to the gut. “Because I won’t lie to you…this isn’t going to be easy for me. I’m so…” he chokes up, “I’m so attached to you.” He finishes with a hard gulp. His eyes stinging with tears, “I’m so in love with you that I don’t know how I can physically be without you.”

“Jungkook…” you stand here with your own tears threatening to fall. “You can be without—”

“No!” he cries out, “I don’t think so.”

“You’re stronger than you think, baby.” You walk closer to him and he falls forward into your arms, you catch him and try your best to hold him up as he starting sobbing into your neck.

“N-No.” he chokes on his sobs, “P-Please don’t-please don’t…don’t leave me.” He manages to cry out between harsh breaths. “I need you.”

Your heart cracks and breaks into maybe tens of millions of pieces, then those pieces manage to get even more crushed. So, this wasn’t just about you not telling him…this goes deeper than that.

“Baby, I’m not leaving you. I would never leave you. I’m yours forever.” You remind him softly, caressing his back as he continues to weep. “We would make plans to see each other every few months, remember?”

“You—you want to l-leave me.” He cries harder into your shoulder making you screw your eyes shut so your own tears don’t spill over.

“Baby that’s not—”

“Why am I never good enough to make the people I love stay?” he whispers, his quiet sobs taking a toll on his tired body. Your eyes go wide at his comment…this is much, much deeper than you thought.

“Jungkook…” you whisper his name over and over, trying to calm him. Your hand massages his scalp and he continues to cry.

You don’t know what to say at this point…you don’t think any words you can say will work…will comfort him. Only ‘okay I won’t go’ but you can’t…you can’t say that. Because it would be a lie. You’ve already made your decision and that’s that you are going. You’ve already accepted and made the arrangements to fly out, you’ve already been placed in an apartment, everything is already done. And yes, you feel bad. Awful actually but this is something you really want to do, for you. You want this, you need this. And you hope Jungkook will become more understanding. You know he will…he’s just drunk and emotional right now. But you can tell these are his real feelings.

“Do you still love me?” Jungkook chokes out and your face twists into a frown. This is it, you finally cry. His unsureness breaks you.

“What are you talking about?” you let a few tears stream down your face, “I love you more than anything, anyone.” You hug him tighter, your arms becoming sore from how hard you’re holding on to him.

“Then don’t leave.” He begs into your neck and you fall to your knees, bringing him down with you. You feel so fucking conflicted.

“Baby.” You cry out, “Please understand.”

Jungkook shakes as he cries, like he’s beginning to hyperventilate. He tries to speak but only harsh, quick breaths leave his open mouth. He brings his head back and he looks at you panicked, like he can’t breathe.

“Okay, calm down, calm down.” You whisper, rubbing his back. “Breathe, my love. Breathe.”

Jungkook shuts his eyes and shakes his head, he is struggling to find that breath. He continues to breathe out quickly, panic rising.

“In and out, in and out.” You continue to rub his back, “I’m here my love, I’m here.”

Jungkook tries his hardest to take a deep breath but it’s so hard, so fucking hard. He opens his eyes and they scream for you, they are wide and pleading and you feel so fucking heartbroken.

“Come on, in and out…that’s it Jungkook. In and out.” He follows your instructions, trying his best to breathe in and out as steadily as possible. He finally manages to calm down only for him to break down even more…he closes his eyes and starts crying harder this time.

“Jungkook.” Your voice cracks, “Please calm down.” You feel yourself becoming more and more anxious as well.

“I love you, I love you, I love you.” You whisper out over and over until he’s quieting down. You don’t stop though, you continue to repeat the words until his breathing sounds stable again. You don’t stop caressing his back either, you just continue to do what you can to comfort him.

“I know you do.” Jungkook finally whimpers out. “I know you do. I’m sorry.” He sniffles into your neck. “I’m sorry.” His voice breaks and you squeeze your eyes shut.

“Don’t be sorry baby, you have nothing to be sorry for.”

“No, I do.” He says a little more calmly. “I shouldn’t try to make you stay. If you want to go…then that’s what you want and I want to be nothing be supportive of what you want.”

“It’s not because I don’t want to be with you Jungkook. I wish you could just quit your job and come with me, to be honest. But I know I can’t ask you to do that.” You rub his back some more. Jungkook lifts himself off your shoulder and looks into your eyes.

“I know.” He sighs out, “I know. It’s just…it’s just for a year, right?” his big doe eyes bore into yours.

“Just a year babe.” You promise, “And I will see you every few months, and we will talk every day.”

Jungkook nods his head and tries to smile for you but it’s tense and strained and you frown again.

“It’ll be fun when you come to visit me…” you try to lighten the mood. “Imagine all the food we will try and all the sights we will see.”

“Yeah.” Jungkook tries smiling again, this time it’s a little more relaxed.

“And all the sex we will have in a different country?” you playfully wiggle your brows and Jungkook laughs while sniffling.

“I will kiss you in every famous spot in Japan.” Jungkook offers, “And we’re going to take a million pictures. And you will video chat with me every single day, right?”

“Every single day.” You repeat, “And you won’t be alone,” you remind him, “You have the guys, our friends. They’re just as much as family…”

“Yeah, I know.” He sniffles again, “I know.”

“I really am sorry for not telling you first…I was just so scared…I knew you would be disappointed…”

“Baby, I’m not like, entirely disappointed. I am also really happy for you. I’m just a bit sad for selfish reasons.” He admits. “I got so emotional…”

“You don’t think I would ever leave you, right? That you are 100% good enough. You are the love of my life, Jungkook.”

“I’m happy to hear you say that.” He sighs out. “I’m sorry for what I said…I was just…” he begins to get choked up again and you immediately caress his cheek.

“I know. You don’t have to explain…” you whisper. “We’re going to be okay.”

“More than okay.” He smiles at you with his brows pulled together. “Right?”

“Right.” You lean in and your lips meet his. You kiss him over a few times, and he lazily kisses you back.

“Let’s go to bed?” you begin to stand up, taking Jungkook’s heavy body with you.

“Okie.” He nods his head and follows you into the bedroom. “Take my clothes off for me.” He raises his arms above his head and waits patiently.

You chuckle at the sight but agree nonetheless. You walk to him and lift his shirt up, throwing it to the side. Then you are unbuckling his belt and unbuttoning his pants, dragging them down his legs. He lifts one leg at a time as you slip them off…you’re dropped to your knees as you take them off his body.

“While I’m down here…maybe I could…” you play with the elastic of his briefs and he can’t help but chuckle.

“We can just go to sleep…” he offers shyly but you can see the outline of his length begin to twitch.

“I just want you to feel good…” you begin pulling the briefs down slowly, his half hard cock making an appearance.

“You always make me feel good.” He admits between a rough breath.

“Good.”

You grab onto his thick thighs and he stumbles backward until he’s gripping the desk in your room, he braces himself, staring down at you with soft eyes.

“Wanna make my baby feel so good.” You say, inching your face closer to his growing member. You haven’t even touched him yet and his cock is twitching uncontrollably. You watch as it gets harder and harder.

“Then make me feel good.” He breathes out, the desperation in his voice doesn’t go unnoticed by you.

You finally walk your fingers up his thigh until you’re softly stroking his dick. Your fingers lightly gliding up his growing length. He softly moans out, but he isn’t really, truly whining until you grip his cock and squeeze his head lightly.

“Fuck.” He sighs out, his hands going to your hair. “Love your touch, baby.”

“How about my mouth? Do you love that too?” you ask, as your face gets closer and closer until he is feeling your warm breaths fan over his cock.

“Please.” He begs cutely, “Need you.”

You bring his cock to your lips, you circle his cock over your mouth, your chin, your nose, all over your face. He groans at the view you are giving him, his tip beginning to leak precum. You dart your tongue out to lick him clean and he throws his head back.

“Please.” He begs again and you chuckle darkly.

“So needy.” You say , “Baby so needy.” You finally take his cock in your mouth, you wrap your pretty lips over the head and lightly suck making his eyes roll to the back of his head. He grips your hair tighter as you take him further into your mouth. He’s losing it. Your mouth feels like heaven, the way you lightly suck, the way your tongue drags up and down his length and swirls around the head of his dick, the way you take him further, so deep that he’s hitting the back of your throat.

You begin to bob your head up and down as you start to allow him to access all his pleasure. He groans loudly as you pick up your pace, his hands falling back down to his sides as he finds the desk again and he holds on tightly.

You take him deeper, causing you to choke on his cock and he smirks down at you.

“Having trouble there?” he asks as you continue to gag on his throbbing length, you just moan in response, the vibrations causing him to screw his eyes shut and cry out in pleasure.

You continue to suck on him for who knows how long, your jaw starting to become sore but his whines are enough for you to keep going. Your eyes wet with tears and he is in awe of the sight you allow him.

“I want to come…” he pants out, “But inside you.” He admits between harsh breaths, “But I want to enjoy this for a few more minutes…please.” He begs and you nod your head, you take your mouth off his cock and use your hand to stroke him over and over. You look up at him with your big eyes and he melts. He wants to come so bad, just not like this.

You open your mouth wide and stick your tongue out, then you take his cock and slap it over the flat of your tongue and he basically fucking loses it. You then swallow him whole again, sucking on his dick so deliciously.

“Okay, okay…” Jungkook pants out, “Let me fuck you.” He’s lifting you up by the arms and spinning your body to be up against the desk. He shoves everything to the side and on to the floor as he goes in between your legs.

“Up.” He says, helping you sit on the edge of the desk. His hands scramble to your shorts, he’s quick to unbutton them and drag the zipper down, taking them off you. Leaving you in your shirt and panties. Then he’s ripping off your shirt and bra.

“Let’s see how wet you are first.” He snickers to himself with dark eyes. His fingers rub the outside of your panties and finds them to be very damp.

“Good girl.” He pushes your panties to the side and pushes two fingers inside you immediately causing you to gasp out.

“Let me stretch you a little first.” He moves his fingers inside you as you nod your head frantically in approval. “Good girl.” He repeats and you roll your eyes to the back of your head as he begins to scissor his fingers. You wish he would keep his fingers inside you but much to your dismay he’s pulling them out and licking them clean.

“Mm.” he sucks on his fingers and winks at you. “Love this taste. My favorite flavor.” He whispers to you and you blush.

“Gonna fuck you right here, okay?”

“Please Jungkook. Need your cock so bad.”

Jungkook smirks at you before his smile turns soft and he looks at you with eyes full of adoration.

“Need me?”

“Always need you.”

Jungkook nods his head slowly as he grabs a hold of his length, he gets closer to you, his cock brushing against your clit and you close your eyes in pleasure. He rubs his cock over your clit over and over until you’re a moaning mess. He smiles at you again before lining his cock up to your entrance and slowly, very slowly pushes in. Good lord, his cock is entering you so fucking beautifully, the way he brushes against every special spot inside your tight pussy has you arching your back in pleasure.

Jungkook releases a long, harsh breath as he bottoms out, he stays still for a few moments before he’s sliding in and out of you. His thrusts are intentional, every single one has a purpose. They’re hard, fast and rough. You claw at his back, leaving long lines of pink and red down his back which only encourages him to fuck you harder. One of your hands trail up his body until you’re in his hair, you pull on the strands as your wrap your legs around his tiny waist, your heels digging into his lower back.

Jungkook lifts you from the desk and lightly slams your bodies into the wall next to the door as he continues to fuck into you. You toss your head to the side, giving Jungkook access to your neck, which he gladly accepts the invitation. He kisses you throat, and sucks into your skin. You whine at how good everything feels. Your bodies roll over the wall until you’re at the entrance of the door and Jungkook carries you over to the hallway, fucking you up against that wall as well as you scream out his name.

“Gonna fuck you on every surface of this apartment.” Jungkook promises you. “So you have a memory of a new spot every time you think of this apartment you will be reminded of how I fucked you.” Your legs begin to sliding down over his ass, and he uses his strong arms to bump you up higher, his cock never leaving your pussy.

He walks you over to the couch and lays you down on it, you’re flat against the sofa as he stays standing, fucking into you faster and harder. His cock is throbbing and aching for release but he endures it, his moans filling the room.

You try your hardest to keep your orgasm at bay, but it’s becoming so difficult as his dick is reaching that spot deep within you that has your body going tense. You try so hard you really do but before you can even warn him you feel your body electrifying with intensity as your orgasm washes over you like a huge wave of warm water. You scream, you cry, you moan out in pleasure. But Jungkook doesn’t stop, he slows down though, giving you a moment to relax.

“This isn’t over.” He warns. “I still have to fuck you from behind, still need your fucking gorgeous ass.” He’s lifting your weak body up and momentarily taking his cock out of you to walk you to the kitchen, his hands make their way into your hair and he guides you to bend over the counter. It’s cold against your breasts and you shiver.

“Spread your cheeks for me baby, give me that view.”

You are still out of breath from your orgasm but you listen to him, you reach behind you and spread your ass apart to show him your used pussy.

“Fucking beautiful. So wet.” He groans. “One of these days you’re going to let me fuck this ass aren’t you?”

Your eyes widen but you nod your head frantically, already loving the idea.

“Words baby.”

“Yes.” You moan out as you feel his cock being shoved back inside you, you choke on air as you feel him start thrusting again. You really fucking gasp when you feel his hand come down on your ass hard.

“Love this ass. So fucking much.” He says, panting. “Can’t wait to stick my cock in it and fuck you.” His words go straight to your pussy. God, you don’t want to come again this quickly but his cock feels so god damn good.

“Tell me you want me to fuck this ass.” He grunts.

“I want you to fuck me in the ass.”

“Next time, baby.” He promises, his thrusts still fucking you with so much purpose. He pulls you by the hair causing you to arch your back even more and he falls in love with this view. He loves your boobs, but he’s definitely an ass man. He will argue he loves both but the way your ass is pushed into his crotch right now…he could honestly lose his mind.

He lifts you up again, by the hair—mostly gently. And he now has your body pushed up against the fridge, your face being smooshed into the cold silver box. Your fingers dragging leaving prints down the fridge as he lifts one of your legs to fuck you at a better angle. You cry out, he’s hitting that spot again and you feel yourself losing all composure.

“I’m gonna come again Jungkook.” You warn him this time between your rough breaths.

“I’ll come with you. But we aren’t done.” He starts thrusting faster, the sound of his skin slapping your skin is honestly pushing you further into your orgasm. You feel the warmth travel through your whole body and you feel the band fucking snap. God, you are coming so hard, creaming around his cock as he slows down his thrusts to come into you, his breathing is so heavy as he starts to come. When he stills his hips he’s releasing a loud, low, guttural moan and you could come again just from the sound.

Jungkook starts whining uncontrollably as he starts to move his hips again, slowly grinding into yours and you wince at the pain, the overstimulation. He cries out, it’s too much for him as well but he doesn’t stop.

“Wanna keep fucking you.” He screws his eyes shut, thrusting into you slowly and carefully. He brings your body closer to his, your back flush against his chest and he walks you over to the breakfast table. He leaves your body, quickly takes his cock out of you and sits down on the chair and orders you to sit in his lap. He gestures towards his cock and smirks.

“Sit.”

“Jungkook…” your eyes slightly wet, “I can’t”

“You can and you will.”

You crawl into his lap and hover over his aching cock, he looks up at you and whimpers.

“hurry.”

You slowly sink down onto his length, the feeling so fucking euphoric. He slams his eyes shut and nods his head.

“Ride me.” He softly commands. You lift yourself up and lower back down again, this angle has you seeing fucking stars. You start to ride his cock a little faster now, slamming down on his hips and he grips your hips helping you rise and sink down on his cock.

“Fuck I am gonna come again.” He says, meeting your thrusts half way. He lifts his hips and fucks you from beneath you. He’s going feral now, losing all control. His cock is so hard, so needy, aching so badly for you, for release. You lean down and start kissing him, nibbling on his lips, nibbling on his jaw, nibbling on his neck. He cries out and thrusts into you so harshly now, you feel your high building and building. You’re going to come soon, but then you’re completely overwhelmed when you feel Jungkook’s fingers on your sensitive bundle of nerves. You scream in pleasure, yelling out his name as he fucks you. The chair threatens to screech backwards as you two fuck so roughly on it.

“I’m gonna come, I’m gonna come.” He yells out, his hot seed shooting inside you as he halts his movements. His fingers still rub your clit quickly and you are pushed over the fucking edge—again. You cry as you come. You grit your teeth as this powerful orgasm hits you. You’re so overwhelmed as your whole body shakes.

“Oh fuuuuuuuck.” You yell out and Jungkook grins at the ceiling as he tries to catch his breath.

“Holy fuck.” You pant out, “Mother of god.”

“Good?” he breathes out heavily, stroking the skin on your cheek. “felt good?”

“It was so fucking good Jungkook.” You whine, your body going week as you collapse on top of him. He’s just as tired as you are but finds the strength to lift you up and carry you to the bedroom.

He gently lays you on the edge of the bed and spreads your legs apart. He watches with focused eyes as his cum and your cum spills out of your used hole. He licks his lips and buries his head between your legs, you immediately release a high pitched moan when you feel his tongue cleaning you up.

“Jungkook I can’t.”

He only grunts as he swallows down both of your cum, you roll your eyes so far back into your head that all that is seen is the whites of your eyes.

“So good.” He whispers, lifting himself up and crawling over your body, his lips finding yours in a slow, tender kiss. You open your mouth as you moan, and he takes advantage and slips his tongue in. You can taste yourself on his tongue and you moan in satisfaction.

“We really need to shower. We’re so sweaty.” You laugh, kissing his shoulder.

“Then let’s go.” He says in your ear and you groan, not able to move.

“I can’t. I’m so fucking tired. You exhausted me.”

Jungkook looks down at you with a cocky grin. He lifts the duvet up and helps you slide underneath, then he is joining you.

“We can shower in the morning, let’s sleep.” He offers you and you smile in approval.

“Even though we’re so gross?” you ask, yawning.

“I’ll love you no matter how gross you are.”

~~~~~~

Waking up to Jungkook’s head buried between your legs has got to be one of your very favorite things. He starts with kissing up your legs, he starts at your ankles, works his way up your calves then finally he’s at your inner thighs. Kissing, nibbling on the soft skin and you mewl at the contact.

“Jungkook…I’m so sore.” You admit shyly, and he looks up at you with big, doe eyes.

“Just my tongue then.” He assures you, as his lips grow closer and closer to your pussy. You throw your head back on the pillow and wait in agony for his tongue to finally find your clit. He takes his time though…he continues to kiss your inner thighs, and caress your skin lovingly.

“I love you.” He whispers.

“I love you t—”

His tongue licks a hard, long strip over your pussy…and when he finds your clit he’s lightly sucking on it causing you to moan out. He licks it over and over, his face getting so wet with your juices and his spit. He eats you out messily, his nose bumping your clit as he licks you, then he travels up until he’s flicking his tongue over your clit quickly. It doesn’t take much for you, you hate to admit, but you feel the rise of your high. The tension growing and growing until its fucking snapping. You come all over his tongue and he smiles into your pussy, letting you ride out your high. He squeezes your thighs with his hands and leans back and watches as you have your eyes closed, and your lips apart. You quietly cry out, your face twisted in pleasure.

“That was fast.” He teases you. “Might be the fastest you’ve ever came.”

“I think I’m still sensitive from last night…” you open your eyes and stare up at him, “You were so amazing.” You tell him breathlessly.

“Me? Baby you’re the one who did amazing. Such a good girl.” He cleans his face with the back of his hand and makes his way next to you on the bed.

“I’m sorry for last night.” He sighs out, “I was…”

“It’s okay baby.”

“It’s not okay. I’m not selfish, I promise. I want you to follow your dreams, and I want to be as supportive as I can be.”

“I know.” You say softly. “You did have me worried there for a moment though…” you admit, your eyes sliding to the side. “I don’t want you to feel like I’m abandoning you, Jungkook.”

“I know…Fuck, I’m so sorry. I don’t want you to feel responsible for me.” He curses under his breath, “I think this year will be good for both of us.” He tries admitting. “I clearly have abandonment issues.” He tries laughing and you frown. “I think…I have to learn to be my myself too.”

“But Jungkook you won’t be alone, you have our friends.”

“I just mean…be without you.”

“Oh.”

“But you’ll still talk to me every day.” You try to smile but tears fill up your eyes. “We’re going to be a successful long distance relationship story.”

“Yeah,” he smiles for you and you believe in it, “We will be.”

~~~~~~

“So fucking does solve all problems.” Jimin comments playfully, taking a sip of his wine. You hit his shoulder with your fist and smile slyly.

“Something like that.”

“I’m glad you guys worked it out though…” Jimin looks at you more seriously, “I hope you learned your lesson not to keep things from him again.”

“Yes dad.” You roll your eyes. “I learned, I learned.” You throw your hands up in defeat.

“Ew, save the daddy talk for Jungkook.”

You quirk a brow at him, “I don’t call Jungkook daddy.” You laugh. “But I might if he asked me to.”

Jimin’s face twists into a look of amusement. He doesn’t even look disgusted, just proud. Classic Jimin.

“So, are you all packed?”

“Getting there.”

“You guys will be fine, you know?” Jimin looks at you with a soft, assuring smile.

“Trust me, I know.”

#bts #bts fanfic #bts smut #bts angst #bts fluff #jeon jungkook #jungkook x reader #jungkook fic #jungkook smut #jungkook angst #jungkook fluff #jungkook drabble #always you drabbles

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tyongxnct · 3 years

Text

𝑙𝑜𝑠𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑡𝑜 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑚𝑒 - 𝐽𝑢𝑛𝑔 𝐽𝑎𝑒𝘩𝑦𝑢𝑛

pairing: Jaehyun x reader

summary: You were blinded by your love for Jaehyun. You loved him and believed him every time he promised you that he loved you and that he would marry you soon. A couple years later, whenever you talked about marriage, he would change the topic or simply yell at you for forcing him to marry you even though he wasn’t ready. Everyone around you noticed the change in your relationship but you were still madly in love with Jaehyun but one day you realized that you loved Jaehyun more than you loved yourself and it was breaking you apart.

song: lose you to love me - Selena Gomez

genre: breakup!au, angst

warnings: mentions of cheating, swearing, not a happy ending

word count: 4,2k

A/N: HAPPY BIRTHDAY JUNG JAEHYUN!! i love him so much :( and I hope you enjoy reading this! And this is the first part of a two part story! The second part is feel me and is coming on february 17! And happy valentine’s day!!

You promised the world and I fell for it I put you first and you adored it

“I’m going to marry you and we’re going to have at least three kids. I know I’m a city boy, but I want to live in a little town in a little house with a huge garden with you and our kids. I know that you love to cook and I’m going to build the kitchen you always wanted. I want to give you everything and so much more.”

“Promise?”

“I promise, baby.” Jaehyun said and kissed every part of your face. “I can’t wait to have babies with you.”

“You know, I don’t need a house with a big kitchen. As long as I’m with you, I don’t care about anything else.” You cupped his cheeks and pressed a kiss on his lips. “You are my everything.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too Jaehyun.”

You snuggled up into his chest and you were sure that your future with Jaehyun was going to be a beautiful journey. You’ve been together for almost five years now, you were high school sweethearts. He was your first boyfriend, just your first everything and you knew the second you talked to him that he was going to be your forever. Well you thought that he was going to be your forever, but If you only knew.

I saw the signs and I ignored it Rose-colored glasses all distorted

Jaehyun was acting differently but you didn’t really notice the change in his behavior. Your friends were the first one to notice, but you just shrugged your shoulders.

“I swear he’s acting so different or is it just me?” Minji asked your other friend Yuna. “I don’t know. Did you guys fight?” she asked you.

“What are you guys talking about? Everything is fine between us. He’s probably just exhausted from work. You guys are exaggerating.”

The truth was that Jaehyun was indeed distant and cold. You were blinded by your love to notice that. The way he stopped telling you that he loved you or kissed you, all the times he stayed with his friends instead of coming home to you. Every time he snapped at you no matter what you did, and the thing was, you never did anything wrong. Every move you made, every word that left you lips triggered something and he just started yelling and then ignoring you.

You never thought that he was wrong, that he did something, and you were right. You just accepted the fact that you did something wrong and you spend your nights thinking about your mistakes.

You were tired of your friends telling you that there was something wrong. It was late and you wanted to go home and be alone with Jaehyun and when you walked up to him and his friends to ask him If you could go home, he just told you to go alone.

“I don’t want to go yet, I’m having fun. Is it so hard for you to let me have some fun with my friends? What is wrong with you?” he whispered harshly, he didn’t want your friends to hear him snap at you once again.

“You’re right I’m sorry. Have fun, I’ll just go home and sleep.” You smiled bitterly ignoring the fact that he, once again, hurt you.

You were trying to sleep but your thoughts kept you awake.

It’s been almost two years since Jaehyun promised you, for the nth time, to marry you and you were ready to marry him but whenever you mentioned a wedding, or anything related to marriage he got so mad that he even stopped talking to you for a whole week.

All of your friends got married after a couple years of dating and you and Jaehyun stopped talking about that topic even after seven years together.

But you shouldn’t complain, right? He was still there after all. He still loved you and one day he’d marry you. Right?

Set fire to my purpose And I let it burn You got off on the hurtin' When it wasn't yours, yeah

Jaehyun was always on his phone. He ignored your presence, and his attention was completely on his phone. You knew that he kept secrets from you, but you didn’t mind because he was still there. He was still sitting next to you on the couch and sleeping next to you in bed. You ignored the fact that the first thing he looked at in the morning was his phone and the last thing he looked at before falling asleep was again, his phone.

Your nights got colder, and your days got longer.

Jaehyun was spending less and less time with you and he was barely home.

Having a simple conversation with him was rare. But you didn’t mind. At least he talked to you, even just a couple words were enough for you.

But for him, it was torture talking to you or being in the same room as you. You annoyed the shit out of him no matter what you did. He told you to shut up, he told you to fuck off, he told you to leave him alone and all you did was smile and apologize for annoying him.

“I had a fucking long day and I can’t even fucking rest because of you.” He growled. Jaehyun unbuttoned his shirt as you trailed after him. “I’m sorry, I know you had a long day I want to help you feel better-“

“If you want me to feel better shut up and leave me alone for god’s sake! Don’t you have any friends to go and annoy?” before you could enter the bedroom he slammed the door shut and locked it.

Jaehyun breathed heavily, he was so mad and needed to be alone. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and called the only person he wanted to talk to.

He was laying on your shared bed and smiling brightly as he talked to the person on the phone. Jaehyun felt good without you being next to him. Jaehyun felt like he could breathe again.

You on the other side forced a smile on your face. You told yourself that Jaehyun was just exhausted and that he didn’t mean anything he just said and did. But when you heard him talking happily on the phone, your smile dropped, and you tried hard not to cry.

You left the apartment that night, leaving Jaehyun alone just like he wanted. You wanted to give him some time to be the old Jaehyun again, maybe you were annoying and maybe you were suffocating him.

You spend the night at Yuna’s without telling her what exactly happened, but she knew. She knew that he hurt your feelings once again and she knew that you were heartbroken.

Jaehyun noticed hours later that you were gone. His stomach growled and reminded him that he still didn’t eat dinner. It was almost midnight and he left the bedroom and entered the kitchen to see it empty- like the rest of the apartment.

He cooked himself instant ramen, the only thing he was able to cook, and silently ate in the living room while watching a reality show.

An hour later, you were still not back and he decided to call you, he started to get worried, what if something happened to you?

“Jaehyun?”

“Where are you?” he asked you.

“I’m with Yuna, I thought it would be the best to leave you alone for the night. You should rest and I know I can be annoying. I won’t hold you back. I hope you have a good rest and please take care of yourself. I’m sorry I left before I could cook dinner for you, I hope you managed to cook something for yourself. If I remember clearly we still have ramen.” You rambled but he didn’t mind.

You were still worried for him and he almost felt bad for acting like an asshole. But he was happy that you weren’t home.

“Can you stay with Yuna for a couple more days?” he just asked.

“What, uhm. Oh, yeah sure.”

“Good.”

“Take care and I lov-“

He hung up before you could finish your sentence.

When you asked Yuna if you could stay with her she almost called Jaehyun to yell at him for being an asshole, but you stopped her.

“Yuna, please, don’t. He didn’t do anything wrong, we just need a couple days for ourselves.” You assured her but she was ready to fight Jaehyun.

“Stop lying to yourself! Y/n don’t you see how he treats you? He kicked you out of your own apartment-“

“He didn’t kick me out. I left.” You still tried to defend him.

“And why did you do that? Because he told you to leave!”

“Yuna- it’s not how you think-“

“Y/n I saw with my own two eyes how he treats you. And I don’t even know how he acts when we’re not there.” She said honestly.

“He loves me.” You lied to yourself, “And I love him.”

“Y/n-“

“No Yuna. Please. I don’t want to talk about this anymore. Please?”

And your friend hugged you tightly and put the conversation to the side. Yuna didn’t want to hurt you, god no, she wanted to help you realize that you deserved better. You were the only one suffering and being hurt in this relationship and she couldn’t let you let him hurt you anymore.

A couple days later Yuna convinced you to go back home and face him. You were paying half of the bills and the rent, you had the right to be there. Yuna helped you a little to understand her point of view and how toxic your relationship was. But you still loved him and you were sure that this was just a phase and that your relationship is going to get better.

When you entered the apartment, Jaehyun looked up from the couch. The apartment was a mess. Empty pizza boxes and empty bottles all over the kitchen and the living room. You didn’t even want to know how the bedroom looked.

“What are you doing here?” he asked you as he sat up on the couch. “I live here.” You said back as you opened the window to let fresh air in.

Jaehyun was a little embarrassed that you saw how he lived the last couple of days without you being here. It was chaos and of course you were the one to fix everything. While you started cleaning the apartment, Jaehyun played with his phone and sometimes he looked up and glanced at you for a second before you could catch him watching you.

For the first time, you were annoyed.

“This place is a fucking mess.” You said loud enough for him to hear but he choose to stay silent.

After cleaning up, you decided to take a long hot bath in your own home.

“I’m going to take a long bath.”

“C-Can I join you?” he asked out of nowhere.

“What?” you asked a little shocked.

He stood up and was standing so close to you now. “I want to join you- I m-missed you…” he whispered the last part and looked down to the floor. He couldn’t even look you in the eyes and tell you that he missed you.

“No. I want to rest.”

He looked up and saw the coldness in your eyes. You were mad that he showed a little affection after you were gone for a couple days. You can be all cold and distant too, you realized.

You turned around and locked the bathroom door, leaving him all alone.

After your shower you changed to comfortable clothes and then you entered the kitchen to start making dinner. You didn’t know where Jaehyun was or what he was doing but then you felt two strong arms wrapped around you and his face in the crook of your neck, you realized that the last time he did something like that was months ago.

“I’m cooking.”

“Let me help you.” He really wanted to help you.

“Are you sure?” you asked him, and he hummed.

“Okay, you can make the salat. Here.” You handed him the ingredients for a salat, and he happily started cutting them into small pieces.

Until his phone started vibrating.

He ignored it at first but after a couple minutes he started texting back, whoever he was texting.

“Jaehyun?” you called him for the third time now.

“Huh?”

“The salat. Dinner’s almost ready-“

“Yeah about that, I really want to eat with you but the boys- they’re spamming me and asking me to go eat with them. I really can’t say no baby.” He said, eyes still locked with his phone.

“Fine. Go.” You breathed out.

Without saying anything else to you, he changed his clothes and left the apartment.

Once again, Jaehyun left you hanging and you were all alone again. You were angry. Not only at Jaehyun but also at yourself for being so weak. You let him play with you and you did nothing to defend yourself. You were the only one hurting and suffering in this relationship.

I gave my all and they all know it You turned me down and now it's showing In two months, you replaced us Like it was easy Made me think I deserved it In the thick of healing

The realization that you never did anything wrong in your relationship with Jaehyun hit you hard. After scrolling through your last exchanged texts with Jaehyun, you saw the coldness and distance in his words. You remembered every fight you had, and it was always Jaehyun starting them and blaming you for everything. You were always wrong in Jaehyun’s eyes and you always tried and tried to be perfect and enough for him, but he never tried to value you and you tried everything in your power to be just like Jaehyun wanted you to be.

Family and friends were always worried about you. You were like a puppet and the strings were in Jaehyun’s hands and he played with you until you finally broke. Everyone around you knew that you always tried to be enough for him, that you tried to be his ideal girl and everyone started hating him for hurting you like that. He was the perfect boyfriend but when you saw everything crystal clear, you started hating him too.

You were the one who did the first step. You asked Jaehyun the one-million-dollar question and his answer decided about your future.

“What is it?” he asked, eyes on his phone.

“Do you want to marry me?”

Jaehyun stopped scrolling and breathed in and out. He closed his eyes for a second to stay calm, but he couldn’t.

“How many times do we have to talk about that?! I told you I’m not fucking ready for marriage, you can’t make me wanna marry you!”

“So you don’t want to marry me?” you asked, still calm.

“No I don’t and stop bringing that up or-“

“Or what? Are you going to break up with me then?” you interrupted him, the look in your eyes could kill right now.

Jaehyun looked at you, not sure what to say.

“You know what? You don’t have to bother waiting for me to ask you again. I won’t. I’m breaking up with you.” You simply said, no emotion in your voice.

Jaehyun’s eyes were wide and his mouth fell open. It took him a couple seconds to realize what you just said.

You ignored the fact that he didn’t say anything, and you just stood up and entered your bedroom to get your bags and luggage. Yeah, you already packed all of your things because you knew this wasn’t going to end like fairytales.

Jaehyun finally came to his senses and sprinted to the front door, you were about to open the door with your bags in your hands. You left your key on the counter and you didn’t take a single memory with you.

“W-What do you mean breaking up? Where are you going? You are joking right? You can’t leave me and throw away our relationship just because I’m not ready to get married-“

“No Jaehyun! This isn’t only about a stupid marriage! I’ve had enough! I can’t do this anymore this- this relationship is destroying me, and I can’t be with you anymore because all you do is hate me! I don’t know why you didn’t break up with me before, but I’m done being your punching bag! I’m done getting hurt and hurt and I’m done with you! I can’t do this anymore.” You whispered the last part after yelling at him. For the first time in your life you yelled at him because it was too much for you and the way he blamed you for throwing away this relationship didn’t sit right with you.

Before Jaehyun could say another word, you left the apartment. You silently drove away until you could finally breathe again.

A couple months later you found out that he got married two months after the breakup. Whenever he was on his phone or out, he was with her. Jaehyun was always talking to her after you two fought and he secretly met her. You should’ve known. You saw the way he acted around you when he was on his phone or the smell of perfume on his clothes. You should’ve known but you were blind. He was cheating on you for almost a year and after your breakup he asked her to marry him and it took them two months to get married. Even after dating you for years he pushed the thought of marriage away and he marries her after a year? Why didn’t he just break up with you? Why didn’t he tell you to go? Why did he hurt you for so long instead of just breaking up after he met her?

Your gaze was on the moon, no stars were to be seen. The moon was all alone, just like you.

It was another lonely night in your bed and once again you asked yourself If you deserved being treated like that. Maybe you never deserved to be with Jaehyun in the first place. You didn’t deserve to marry him, you didn’t deserve to have the title as his wife. He fell in love with someone else because you weren’t enough.

It all made sense now. The distance, the hate and your relationship falling slowly apart. He stopped loving you, or maybe he never loved you but the promises he made you believe that he did love you, and he decided to love someone else behind your back. You were curious. Was she better than you? She was probably so much prettier and funnier and just perfect.

We'd always go into it blindly I needed to lose you to find me This dancing was killing me softly I needed to hate you to love me, yeah

Breaking up with Jaehyun was probably the best decision you’ve ever made.

The first couple months were tough. You thought you were going to die. The pain in your heart was unbearable, your thoughts were eating you alive and you reached the point to doubt everything about yourself.

Most of the time you were all alone, curled up under the blanket and watching a romance movie or a k-drama and every time you saw the couple being happy, you took a shot of vodka. Yes, you were drinking most of the time and neglecting everything around you.

You friends were worried, your family was worried, even your neighbors thought you were dead because you never left your apartment. You were vulnerable and your four walls kept you safe. The loud sad love songs coming from your speakers didn’t help you get better, you were always crying, and you really thought your life was going to end like this. All alone and depressed. Lonely and heartbroken.

One day, you looked at yourself in the mirror. You didn’t recognize yourself anymore. The dark bags under your red and puffy eyes almost covered the look in your eyes. The cry for help deep, deep inside your eyes. You hated being like this and you needed a hard push to get back on your feet.

A tear drop rolled down your face. “Why are you doing this to yourself?” you said as you looked yourself in the eyes. “Do you really want to end up like this? You look miserable. You always ask yourself what you did wrong, but did you ever think that maybe, you did nothing wrong?”

You tried to smile, a forced smile. You looked weird. “You can’t force yourself to be happy again. You should go with the flow.”

Maybe it is finally time to change. To be happy again. To move on.

That night, you slept better than ever. After so many sleepless nights, you fell asleep and you woke up with a smile on your face.

You knew that moving on and changing your lifestyle would be a big challenge, you had to do it in little steps. It’s okay to break down. It’s okay to feel hurt. It’s okay to let go. It’s okay to put yourself first.

And that is how you reminded yourself everyday that it wouldn’t be easy but worth it.

A month later you found yourself getting happier and even your friends noticed the change. They supported every decision you made and were always there to cheer you up, because it was also okay to have a shitty day.

Two months later, you were ready to go out and have fun again. It’s been so long since you had a girl’s night or a gathering without him being there. You had so much fun that night and you realized how much you had missed. You were smiling and laughing non-stop, and simply enjoying yourself.

You found new interests such as cooking and learning to play the guitar. You even signed up to a couple yoga sessions with your friends to help your body rest and recover after months of doing nothing. You gained new strength and so much confidence like you never had before.

“Hey, Jieun?” you were hanging out with your friend Jieun.

“Yes?” she asked you.

“Can you show me a picture of Jaehyun and his wife?” you asked out of nowhere.

Her eyes widened, “What?”

“I just want to see a picture of them. Don’t worry, I moved on, thank god I did because I realized how horrible our relationship was. I just want to see.” And that was okay. Just because you’re curious, that doesn’t mean you still love him or feel the need to be with him.

“Uhm, okay. If you really want to.”

After she opened Jaehyun’s Instagram account, you saw a couple pictures of them together but the one of their wedding caught your eye.

“I absolutely feel nothing,” you say as you zoomed in, “Like, I’m so happy that it isn’t me next to him. All my love for him changed to hate, but now I… I just feel nothing but relief. I’m finally living my life. I finally think about myself for once, I always wanted to please Jaehyun. Jaehyun’s happiness, Jaehyun’s pleasure- everything was just Jaehyun. But I feel so much better now. I realized that I should love myself before I love someone else. I can’t remember the last time I thought about my feelings and my happiness and it feels so good to do that. I feel so happy and I guess I just needed my heart to get broken to realize that.”

At first you thought that hating Jaehyun was the best way to move on, but after focusing more on yourself and your feelings, there was no hate and no love more for Jaehyun. You moved on and you found yourself while doing so. You closed the chapter of your past with Jaehyun with a smile on your face, the memories didn’t hurt you anymore and you were strong, you were so strong and confident and that’s something you never had. Strength, self-love, and confidence helped you getting back on your feet and face your fears and you were thankful for the lessons life taught you. You were never going to let anyone tear you down and make you feel less of yourself because you learned that your feelings mattered and you learned to love yourself.

And now the chapter is closed and done To love, love, yeah To love, love, yeah To love, yeah And now it's goodbye, it's goodbye for us

Jaehyun on the other side was going through hell. He was missing something. No. He was missing someone. There was a big hole in his heart and he didn’t know how to fill it until he saw you smiling happily with your friends. Oh how much he missed that beautiful smile of yours and he can’t remember the last time he saw you smiling like this. His heart skipped a beat and something inside of him clicked.

To be continued in feel me, coming February 17...

read feel me HERE

#jaehyun angst #jung jaehyun #nct jaehyun #jaehyun #jaehyun x you #jaehyun x reader #jung jaehyun angst #nct angst #kpop angst #nct 127 #nct songfic #nct 127 angst #nct scenarios #jaehyun scenarios

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cutethingstolove · 3 years

Text

New Experiences

Photos from @little-stephanies-diary and @babiechristy, Part 14

Stephanie and Courtney were having an amazing time hanging out in just their wet Goodnites and t-shirts. Both girls had a feeling of liberation as they now knew each other’s secrets, and they could now hang out without the fear of being caught wearing diapers. As the afternoon went along, their comfort level only increased to the point that Stephanie decided it would be funny to stick her foot out and poke Courtney’s wet diaper with her toe making a ‘boop’ noise. Courtney giggled a little at this before launching herself across the couch and pinning Steph’s hands down exclaiming it was a ‘tickle attack!’ Stephanie erupted into laughter, causing her to pee a little, and unable to stop laughing she simply went along with it for the moment. As soon as her hands were freed, Stephanie bear-hugged her best friend and the two girls settled into cuddling on the couch watching TV.

As the girls were holding each other, they started to doze off a little bit. It wasn’t until they heard the garage door start to open, indicating that Steph’s dad was home, that they shot upright and realized they still needed to change before he came through the door. Stephanie ran upstairs, leaving her pants in the living room, and went straight to the bathroom to change out of her wet pullup before her dad caught her. Courtney’s reaction was a little slower, but she stood up quickly pulling her blue sweatpants back on so Steph’s dad wouldn’t catch her without pants on. While she did manage to pull her pants over her legs, her Goodnite wasn’t fully covered as Steph’s dad entered the house.

“Hi Courtney,” Steph’s dad said with a hint of curiosity, “You aren’t still wearing that wet pullup from this morning are you?”

“No sir,” Courtney said a little embarrassed, “Steph asked if I would wear one today like she has to so she would feel more comfortable.”

“Oh!,” Steph’s dad replied, “Well that was very nice of you to do. You really are a good friend. Where is Stephanie by the way?”

“She had to go to the bathroom,” Courtney said covering for her friend, “She mentioned she would get I trouble if she had another accident, so she has been making sure she was staying dry all day.”

It was just then that Stephanie came bouncing back down the stairs in a dry Goodnite, giving her dad a hug when she reached the bottom of the stairs. Steph’s dad asked if the girls were hungry, which they very much were, and offered to make dinner quickly if the girls would set the table. They quickly agreed, even though Courtney was still wearing a wet diaper while Stephanie’s was dry, but at least Courtney had her pants on – mostly. Courtney did think it was a little odd that Stephanie was still only wearing her Goodnite and t-shirt around her dad, but realized pretty quickly that it probably wasn’t uncommon as they lived alone with each other. Almost as fast as the girls had finished setting the table and took their seats, Steph’s dad was bringing food to the table. As they began to eat, the conversation turned to how their day had been.

“So what did you girl get up to today?,” Steph’s dad asked.

“Nothing really,” Stephanie fibbed a little, “We just hung out on the couch watching TV.”

“It was super fun!,’ Courtney said excitedly, “And as you already know sir, we both wore our Goodnites today!”

“I can see that,” he said slyly, “But I bet you’ll need to change before you head home Courtney.”

“Actually daddy,” Steph piped up, “I was going to ask if Courtney could spend the night again! We’re about the same size, so she could borrow one of my school uniforms for tomorrow. What do you think Court?”

“Oh my god!,” Courtney yelped, “That sounds super fun! Can we please?!”

“That does sound fun,” Steph’s dad replied, “I’ll call your parents and let them know, and I’ll make sure they know we have extra Goodnites here for you to use.”

The girls looked at each other with giddy expressions on their faces. The idea of spending a second night together without any fear of being caught wearing diapers made them both excited beyond belief. The only concern Stephanie had was that she was going to have to wear a big diaper for bed, and her dad wouldn’t be able to change her like he had been, but she was willing to sacrifice that for more time with her best friend. As soon as they were done eating, the girls cleared the table as Steph’s dad called Courtney’s parents to fill them in on the plans. As soon as he was off the phone, he told the girls that they were good to go on the sleepover, and the girls grabbed each other’s hands jumping up and down a little while they squealed with excitement.

“Let’s go upstairs and get ready for bed!,” Stephanie said excitedly.

“Sounds great!,” Courtney agreed, “It is getting a little late, and we do have school in the morning.”

As Courtney started heading upstairs, Steph’s dad pulled his daughter aside for a moment whispering, “You know you need to wear a big diaper for bed right?”

“I know daddy,” Steph responded timidly, “But I’ll put it on myself tonight since Courtney is over. Where are the big ones?”

“Well princess,” her dad responded, “I noticed we used the last one from the pack last night, so I stopped by the store and bought more today. They are a different design, and I left them in the trunk if you want to go grab them.”

Stephanie understood and headed to the garage to grab the new diapers from her dad’s car. The side of the bag read ‘Lil’ Monsters’ on the side, and she could see the cute cartoon monsters they ad printed on them. Thinking that at least these were a little less babyish than the teddy bear ones she had been wearing, she gleefully grabbed the bag and headed up to her room where Courtney was waiting. Steph was a little embarrassed carrying a bag of big diapers in front of her friend, but Courtney didn’t seem to care. A quick thought raced through Steph’s head as she thought that, because she had agreed to wear a Goodnite all day, maybe Courtney would wear one of the big diapers to bed too!

“Hey Court,” Stephanie hesitantly said, “You remember how I have to wear different diapers at night?”

Looking up from her phone, Courtney replied with a simple, ‘Yeah, what about it?”

“Well,” Stephanie asked while biting her lip, “It was really nice that you wore Goodnites all day with me, so I was hoping maybe we could both wear the big ones to bed too?”

“Sure!,” Courtney piped up, “I’ve always been a little curious about wearing something other than pullups to bed anyway!”

“Can I ask one more question?,” Stephanie quietly said, “Last Monday when the nurse made me wear a diaper, she put it on me, and honestly it fit better than any of the times I’ve done it myself. What do you think about changing each other before bed?”

Courtney was a little shocked by this, but after thinking for a minute she agreed. She was still wearing her wet Goodnite, so she told Steph to grab everything while Courtney went to the bathroom to change. Stephanie was elated because, even though it wasn’t going to be her daddy changing her, at least someone was going to. She was even a little excited to have a chance to change someone other than herself too. Steph prepared everything they would need, and decided to change into a black t-shirt since her purple one was starting to stink a little. Courtney returned to the bedroom a few minutes later wearing just her white t-shirt and blue sweats having left her wet Goodnite in the bathroom trash. She noticed that Steph had laid out two of the big diapers on the bed right next to a bottle of baby powder.

“So,” Courtney said curiously, “How do you want to do this?”

“Well,” Steph responded, “I thought since I have a little more experience putting these on, I could do you first so you can learn, and you can change me right after.”

“That sounds like a good plan actually,” Courtney said in an assuring tone, “What do you need me to do?”

“Well,” Steph said apprehensively, “I’ll need you to take off your sweats and lay down on the bed. I can pretty much take it from there.”

Courtney did as she was asked and pulled off her sweatpants, but realizing she was kind of cold wearing just a t-shirt, she went to her bag and grabbed a pair of yellow and white striped fuzzy knee-high socks to put on before she laid down on the bed. Stephanie grabbed on of the diapers and slid it under Courtney before reaching for the baby powder and sprinkling it over her friend’s naked body. Just as her dad had done with her, Stephanie gently spread the baby powder around with her hand before securing the tapes around the front of the diaper. Courtney was surprised at how intimate everything was, and really impressed by just how comfy the big diaper felt between her legs. Sitting up in the bed, Courtney smiled at her friend before saying, “Ok, your turn Steph!”

Stephanie was pretty used to this, so she laid down on the bed as she slid her dry Goodnite to the floor. Laying there exposed, she guided Courtney on what to do. Stephanie lifted her butt off the bed while Courtney slid the diaper under her before grabbing the baby powder and sprinkling it over Stephanie’s naked body. Courtney took note of how Steph had done this part, and slowly spread the baby powder with her hand lingering just a little longer as she ran her fingers over Steph’s smooth vagina. Stephanie’s face went a little red as this was happening as she was feeling the same sensation she had felt with her dad earlier in the week – she was starting to become turned on. As soon as Courtney was done fastening the tapes of the diaper, Stephanie lifted her feet into the air for just a moment to try and hide her expression.

“That was…really nice,” Steph blurted out.

“I was hoping you’d like that, “Courtney said with a smirk, “Come here and give me a hug.”

Stephanie sat up and hugged her best friend with a giant smile on her face, and never wanted this hug to end. She was a little sad as Courtney started to move her arms away from Stephanie’s body, but sadness turned to excitement as Courtney placed her hands around the back of Stephanie’s head running her fingers through her friends hair. In a moment that shocked Stephanie, Courtney pulled their faces together as their lips locked. This was an unexpected turn of events for Steph, but Courtney had sort of wanted to do this for a while. Courtney slowly let her tongue leave her mouth and used it to spread Steph’s lips apart, gently thrusting it into her friend’s mouth. The girls continued to make out for what seemed like an eternity, but was really only about five minutes in real time.

As soon as their lips separated, Steph squeezed her friend even tighter before pulling them both down onto the bed to cuddle like they had done on the couch earlier that day. Stephanie was going to have a wet diaper again tonight, but hopefully not from an accident. Courtney was ecstatic at everything that had transpired while they were in the bedroom, and felt warm and safe with Stephanie’s arm wrapped around her. She wished that her and Stephanie had gone a little bit further than just kissing, but she didn’t want to push her luck. Both girls were tired though, and pulled the covers over themselves as they drifted off to sleep in each other’s arms.

To Be Continued…

#ab/dl #ab/dl girl #ab/dl girls #diapered #diapered girl #diapered friends #ab/dl caption #ab/dl story

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homosexuality-at-its-finest · 3 years

Text

To love a hero

A/n: So I'm really sad right now and I'm gonna project that onto my writings, sorry in advance

Plot: Loving a hero is a difficult and heart wrenching task

Pairing: Peter parker x male reader

Y/n: Your name

L/n: Last name

N/n: Nickname

H/c: Hair color

Warnings: lotta angst, happy ending because I’m not a monster, cussing, major character injury

Word count: 1774

Y/n L/n and Peter Parker went way back, even farther than Peter and Ned. The two had been friends since Pre-K, and only grew closer as the years went by. The two were almost interpretable, if one of the boys was seen, the other was close by.

No one really understood their friendship, but no one questioned it either. In high school the two boys became impossibly closer, Y/n was the first to know about Peter’s abilities, the brunette couldn’t keep something so big from his best friend. Y/n was there and helped make his first suit, the boy was there to soothe his aching bones and to nurse his blossoming bruises.

The pair shared an unbreakable bond, they were what love stories depicted. The love between them was seen by everyone but the two. Of course, Peter knew he was in love with Y/n and vice versa, but for two genius’ they were both dumbasses. Hell, even Tony stark noticed the young love blossoming, the billionaire could see how much the pair adored each other.

On multiple occasions he’d tried to coerce the young superhero into admitting his feelings but was always given the same response.

“Y/n doesn’t like me like that Mr. Stark, I’m not ruining our friendship over my feelings.” Simple and to the point, but it drove Tony insane that the young genius was so fucking blind. He opted against bringing it up again after seeing such clear pain in Peter’s eyes every time they talked about it, being a bystander as time passed by.

Maybe Peter couldn’t see how enamored Y/n was with him, but Tony could. Especially as he clutched the said boy against his chest as he let out guttural and heart wrenching sobs.

It had all started off as a normal Saturday, Peter was over at Y/n’s the two sitting on the couch and watching some unknown movie, it was purely background noise. The two boys were to focused on each other and their conversation to care about the movie. The domestic peace was ruined by Peter’s phone chiming, a familiar sound that always caused dread to run down Y/n’s spine.

It was the sound of Peter’s police scanner, hearing the radio chatter begin. “Unknown entity in central park, currently creating a perimeter and pushing back civilians, backup requested.” The look of determination crossed over Peter’s features, and if Y/n knew Peter would listen, he’d beg for him to let the avengers take care of it.

“That’s my cue, I’ll see you later N/n!” Peter did a mock salute to his best friend, easily escaping the home via window. For some unknown reason Y/n felt on edge, his gut tightening painfully. He immediately flicked on the news, only having to wait a few moments before the familiar figure of spiderman flung into frame.

The fight was nerve wrecking, watching as the Villain and superhero alike exchanged punches and kicks, and Y/n knew Peter was probably making stupid quips to keep his anxiety under control. The H/c haired boy gnawed on his bottom lip as he watched the fight escalate, getting more violent by the second.

The villain had hit Peter with all their might, and Y/n could only watch as the boy he loved more than anything was flung against a building before he crumpled to the ground. It was as the world stood still, stealing all the breath from Y/n’s lungs as the figure of spiderman didn’t budge, he didn’t get up. Peter promised he’d always get back up.

He felt like his heart had been ripped out of his chest and stomped on, air was to thick to breathe and he could feel the moisture running down his face and the devastated cry that left his lips went unheard. The boy couldn’t really remember when Happy arrived at his house, a grim expression on his face as he looked at the disheveled teenager.

Y/n couldn’t remember the drive to the compound, it was as if his brain had just shut down, leaving him devoid of any life. Maybe that’s what Peter was like right now, devoid of life. His constant chatter silenced, his jittery movements stilled, his beautiful face pulled into the blank look of death.

The teenage boy could remember that Happy had to pull over so Y/n could vomit on the side of the road, silent sobs clenching his lungs in their vice. Never in all of his short life had he felt so much pain, never had he begged for the sweet release of darkness as he did now.

The H/c haired boy begged any god that would listen for this to be a nightmare, that he’d wake up and he and Peter would still be on the couch. The brunette would tease him for falling asleep, but he’d take anything to make this pain go away.

When he finally got to the compound and saw Tony waiting, the same grim look on his face as happy, it felt like every last shred of his strength and control was gone. Y/n collapsed into Tony’s arms, breaking into pieces. He only processed a few words “surgery” “critical” and “I’m so sorry.” Everything blended together as the billionaire led him to the medical wing, holding onto the breaking teenager, as if his touch would mend him.

Hours felt like eternity, it was hellish. The sobs that once left the teenager were turned into deafening silence, the occasional sniffle leaving the boy, comforting Tony that the child was in fact still alive.

May had shown up at some point, Y/n couldn’t honestly remember when, or honestly care. Not when he felt like part of himself was missing, leaving a gaping hole where Peter once was.

Good news came in the form of a doctor informing them, at hour 4 of waiting, that Peter had survived the surgery and was now stable. If it wasn’t for his healing factor, the teenager would’ve been dead. He was under sedatives currently, so his body could work solely on healing.

It felt like a weight off of everyone’s chest, he was okay, alive and breathing. The 3 walked in silence to Peter’s room, May and Y/n taking their respective sides on Peter, as Tony sat at the foot of the bed.

Hours were spent in silence, May haven fallen asleep not to long after receiving the news that Peter was okay. Tony and Y/n stayed awake, both lost in their own thoughts. The teenager held Peter’s hand, thumb brushing over his knuckles silently. His eyes rarely left the still form, scared that if he looked away the boy would disappear from his grasp.

“Yknow what sucks about loving a hero?” Y/n’s broken voice cut through the silence, starling Tony from his thoughts. He didn’t reply, his gaze falling on the teenager. Y/n looked over at Tony and fuck that look should never be on a child. He looked so broken, so tired.

“I know he’s going to die long before me, and I’ll be stuck in this fucked up world without him.” A humorless laugh broke through the boys’ lips, it sounded watery and oh so broken. “I’m not ready to live without him Tony.” A quiet sob left his lips, his free hand going to stifle it.

“I love him so much, and it scares me so fucking bad.” Y/n’s eyes moved back over to Peter, shakily bringing the sleeping boy’s hand up to kiss his knuckles. Tony felt his chest tighten painfully; this was really a reminder that they were just kids who grew up way to fast.

“He’s not going to die Y/n, not if I have anything to say about it.” Tony replied in a surprisingly gentle but determined tone. He’d be damned if he let this pair get separated, Peter and Y/n deserved to be together. To grow up together and create a life.

The room fell into silence after that, neither of them wanting to broach the topic again. In the early hours of the morning Peter’s doe like eyes opened once more. Every inch of his body ached with an indescribable pain, and he had to hold back a grimace. He was surprised to see the 3 most important people in his life strewn about the room, two fast asleep. Y/n was still awake though, clasping Peter’s hand like a lifeline has his tired eyes burned into the sheets.

Peter gave his best friends hand a gentle squeeze, but it was enough for the boy’s head to shoot up so fast Peter was scared he’d get whiplash. “Peter! Oh, thank God.” The H/c haired boy breathed out, and even through his eyes were red and puffy from tears and purple bags so dark they looked like bruises bloomed under his eyes, he was still the most gorgeous creature Peter had ever seen.

Peter gave a weak smile, squeezing his hand once more. “How long have I been out?” He questioned; head tipped to the side like a curious puppy. “About 12 hours.” Y/n replied, voice cracking slightly.

The gentle aura Y/n held around him quickly disappeared into one of anger. “If you ever do that to me again Peter I swear to God, I’ll kill you myself.” Y/n spit out angrily, but the anger was gone as fast as it had appeared.

“I thought you died, and that was the most painful thing I have ever experienced. I love you, and I’d rather you be with the land of the living.” The confession was made by a boy to tired to process he had said it.

Peter felt a wave of guilt crash over him at the boy’s confession. He knew now wasn’t the time to talk on the subject. “I’m okay N/n and trust me I won’t be doing that again any time soon. Why don’t we sleep and talk again in the morning?”

Peter was exhausted, and he knew his best friend was too, they could talk about this at a later date. As Y/n made a sound of agreement, laying his head against the mattress, Peter knew that everything would be okay. It didn’t matter what horrors he faced, or what pain he went through. He had made a promise to Y/n. He’d get up every time, and he’d be damned if he ever made the Boy he loved go through that pain again.

#marvel #avengers #Peter parker #marvel x reader #marvel x male reader #marvel x you #avengers x reader #avengers x you #avengers x male reader #peter parker x reader #peter parker x you #peter parker x male reader #LISTEN IM DEPRESSED

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junko-and-riri-domain · 3 years

Text

count us in | pjs

↬ ꜱᴇʀɪᴇꜱ: tatts & cupcakes | chapter 7

↬ ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: park jongseong / jay x reader ft. all members + eventual appearance of i-land k

↬ ɴᴀᴠɪ: beginning | previous chapter | chapter extra | next | series masterlist

↬ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs: none

↬ ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 1.4k

↬ ᴀ/ɴ:

i think that it was @bbangwu who said something along the lines of jay & k talking outside the bakery after k left so:

{\ /} ( • - •) /> 🧁 here’s a cupcake from the bakery for you :)

Jay couldn’t sleep for two reasons. The first was clearly obvious with how you were laying on top of him, your head resting in the crook of his neck. The feeling of your breathing so close to him sent shivers down his spine and butterflies to his stomach. Your presence gave him the same feeling Jungwon’s daily teasing and Sunoo’s smile did. Your presence made him forget about all the pent-up resentment, anger, and shame he’s had within him his whole life. So he kept his arms wrapped around you as he stared up at the ceiling. He told himself that if he let go, you’d fall off the couch. But deep down, he didn’t want to let go. He knew that for the next few hours, you had granted him the privilege of your trust by falling asleep on him. He wanted to hold you every night like this if he could, mind racked with daydreams and imagines. Maybe he’d come home from work one late night after the boys’ bedtime. He’d go to check up on Sunoo, Jungwon, and Ni-ki to see them in their bed already asleep. Maybe you’d still be awake, spending some time in the kitchen baking new recipes for the bakery. Music would be playing on a low volume to not wake up the boys and you’d dance together while the scent of freshly baked cupcakes filled the air. Or maybe you’d be asleep. He’d settle into bed and you’d turn around to cuddle with him the same way you were right now. He was brought out of his thoughts as he felt you move slightly,

“Jay?” he heard you whisper.

“Mhm, love?” It slipped out faster than he could realize what he had just said. Your eyes were still close meaning that you were probably in dreamland right now.

“That makes me feel fuzzy inside,” you muttered.

“Bad fuzzy?” you shook your head,

“Good fuzzy.”

The conversation ended there, he closed his eyes and tried the best he could to control his breathing. You were driving him crazy. But the second reason why he couldn’t sleep? K. And that drove him even crazier. He needed to talk to you about two things when you woke up, the kid’s conversation and his conversation with K. Whatever little respect he previously had for K vanished hours ago.

«««

After Sunghoon came, he rushed to the car and made his way to the ras bakery. Once there, the sight the greeted his eyes broke his heart. You were sitting at a table, clearly crying and upon seeing who was leaving he instantly knew the cause.

“Hey,” he said as he glared at K. K stopped in his tracks, looking at Jay with disbelief written all over his face.

“What, did she ask you to come get her or something? Why the hell are you here?”

“Why is she crying?”

“You’re not her boyfriend, what does it matter to you?” K’s words stung more than Jay wanted to admit but despite that, he stayed silent. Arms across his chest as the two ended up in a staring match to which K was the one to lose,

“I said I was sorry, ok! I don’t know why the hell she’s crying right now but I can’t stand the way that every time I see her all I feel is guilt for the crap I did. But what am I supposed to do now? If she doesn’t forgive me, there’s nothing I can do.” After hearing K’s words, Jay’s anger only increased. You had done everything on your own from raising Ni-ki to opening your bakery. Jay knew that you were open to having K as a part of Ni-ki’s life but deep down, he felt as if you were being too lenient towards the guy. Both you and K deserved more than anything K had to offer.

“Let’s get one thing clear, hyung,” the last word with a mocking tone to it, “when you apologize you are requesting for forgiveness but never are you entitled to it.” Jay walked past K with more pressing matters that he needed to take care of.

«««

He managed to get up without waking you and carried you to his room where he settled you in bed. He felt you take his hand,

“Stay, you’re warm,” you muttered. He knew he should have said no. He knew he should have tucked you into the blanket and left the room. He knew he should have slept on the couch. He should have left while he still could. But he didn’t. So instead, he settled under the blanket while you situated yourself next to him. He put one arm under your head and wrapped the other around you. He allowed you to intertwine your legs with his, settling in a world of warmth and closeness that he knew no one else in the entire universe would be able to give him for the rest of his years. And as he closed his eyes, the scent of your shampoo filling his nose he knew that the scent would stay on his pillowcase for weeks from now, in his memory for longer. Tomorrow, you’d talk. But for now, he’d allow himself to get lost in you.

As you woke there was a weight on top of you. As if sensing your awakening, a pair of arms drew you closer to a rock-solid chest. Opening your eyes to be met with Jay,

“Don’t get up yet, we have company.” You looked at the bed to see Jungwon next to you while the other two boys were cuddling together. As you smoothened out Jungwon’s hair,

“When did the boys get here?”

“I don’t know.” You felt Jay play with the ends of your hair, running it through his fingers as silence befell the room.

“Last night you said we needed to talk,” you found yourself saying.

“The boys had a conversation before I left.”

“About?”

“Ni-ki said that he doesn’t have a dad while Jungwon and Sunoo have me. Jungwon said that they don’t have a mom while Ni-ki has you. Then, Sunoo said and I quote, ‘Ni-ki, why can’t our dad be your dad and y/n noona be our mom?’ After that, they went to sleep.”

“Ni-ki’s never really said anything about not having a dad before,” you said as you looked out at the boys. Jay sighed,

“Neither have Won and Sunoo.” You had no clue what to say or even how to address the issue. While you did sort of have feelings for Jay, things were too messy for the two of you to be in a relationship right now.

“What do we do?”

“I don’t know, we should think on it for a few days. I, uh, have something else to tell you.”

“There’s more?” Jay moved your hair away from your face,

“K and I talked before I went into the bakery. I felt like it was only right to let you know.”

“Oh.”

“Do you wanna know what we talked about?” Shaking your head,

“I trust you.”

“It’s a lot to take in for one morning, isn’t it?”

“Honestly, I’m just hungry.” Jay chuckled,

“Guess that’s my cue to make breakfast?”

“I can do it if you’re tired, I’ve always wanted to explore your kitchen.”

“We can cook together then,” Jay offered. While the boys were asleep in Jay’s room the two of you were in the kitchen. There was a different side to Jay while he looked, he was less guarded and more carefree. When the boys woke up and the five of you were eating breakfast,

“Your birthday’s coming up in a few days.”

“You know my birthday?”

“Of course I do, what kind of 02zer would I be if I didn’t?”

“I’m just surprised is all.”

“What are you gonna do to celebrate?”

“I’m working on the day of my actual birthday. Sunoo and Jungwon wanted to go camping so we’re just gonna do that over the weekend with Sunghoon and Jake.”

“Ooo, sounds nice.”

“Can Ni-ki and noona come?” Jungwon asked Jay.

“That’s up to them,” Jay turned to you somewhat hesitant in his next statement, “I was gonna invite the two of you before all this happened. You can even bring Heeseung hyung if you want.” You knew you should have said no. You knew you should have told him that it was fine. You knew you should have lied and said that you were busy over the weekend. But you didn’t want to. Instead, you allowed yourself to feel the comfort of Jay’s presence. You allowed yourself to trust in the safety he brought. You knew that his touch would linger on you in the weeks to come, staying as a dream perhaps for months. Later on, you’d deal with things. You should have thought with your head rather than your heart while you still could. But you replied,

“Count us in.”

❦ written by riri (@enhykkul) | chapter extra | next | series masterlist

taglist status: open (comment or send an ask to be in it) | main blog masterlist

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kittydcoxx · 3 years

Text

Stay with Me.

KAEYA X READER.

Warnings: light angst/heartbreak but nothing bad (happy ending)

The tavern was as crowded as usual, and by that meaning almost completely baren for a rainy Wednesday afternoon. As you order a apple cider from Charles, the tavern door bell rings and you instinctively turn to check.

"Ah~ it is pouring out, I need a drink to combat the dissapointment of getting my fur cape wet."

Kaeya. Of course he wasnt the last person you'd expect to see open the tavern doors, he just wasnt much of a "afternoon delight" type drinker. Still, you stare as he tries to cooly swipe off the wet rain from his uniform as he walks towards the counter and takes a seat next to you.

"Well, well! Good afternoon y/n! What a suprise to see a beauty such as yourself here at this hour."

He raises an eyebrow and smirks as he turns to look straight ahead and run his fingers through his hair, not allowing time for you to respond before he has a drink in his hand.

"Afternoon Captain,"

You face him and smirk with the same intensity of flirty-ness as he just had.

"Of course you would be surprised to see me at this hour, you usually drink yourself to sleep before i order a evening drink."

You chuckle and look straight ahead and take a swig of your beverage, the confidence of your little witty come back replays as the cider burns your throat.

"Oh ho, well thats quite the attitude! I must ask, whats the purpose of this?"

"Hmm?"

"The occasion? I've never seen you drink three days in a row, I've been sober enough to pay attention to that."

The truth is, the last few days you've been at a bit of a crossroads. You know you and the Cavalry Captain share feelings, but you have a job offer in Natlan. This job is a dream to you, ever since you were a child. You could never dream of passing this opportunity, but you question if this possible romance could be the first significant one. You've been meaning to bring it up to him, but recently you just havent seen enough of him to bring up the subject. As a result, you turned to the more than occassional drink at the tavern to brighten your mood from the decision that faces you.

"Well then if you're interested, it actually... might concern you."

Your face is flushed red due to nerves, of course it doesnt directly concern him since nothing astronomical has occured in order to absolutely weigh your decision based on a man, but you didnt want to leave without warning.

"I see, well, we haven't..." His cheeks grow the slightest bit red as his eyes skip to look around then back at you.

"we haven't progressed to that yet, have we? I mean, you're not pregnant are you?"

"What?!" You're taken aback by the direct-ness of his statement, about the fact that he thought it could even have been a possibility. Was it confirming your suspicions of him returning feelings? "No, i- its not that! That is out of the question completely!" You yelp as you shake your hands as a frantic meaning of saying "Absolutely no way".

"Of course! of course.. i just figured i'd ask in case, but i guess drinking for a few days regularly isnt particularly healthy for a baby."

You roll your eyes and take another swig. Oh boy.

"It's actually more of an advice thing, i suppose."

"Ah~ well! lets discuss then, hm!" He happily takes a sip of his wine, his face surprisingly relieved.

"So? What do you need the great Master Kaeya's guidance on?" He smiles and giggles slightly.

"Actually, I'd like to take this outside."

"But its raining cats and-"

"Outside. please."

Your tone picks up more aggresively and he gets the memo. He takes one more sip of his beverage and you do the same with yours. You pay Charles and meet Kaeya right at the door.

"Get ready for the rain, sweetheart"

Your heart jumps as he grabs your wrist and swings open the door, pulling you with him down the street, stopping at a small archway behind a building, big enough to comfortably converse without being cramped or drenched.

"Now, where were we?"

"right.. well.." You look down and fidget with your thumbs, only to look back up at him and see him gazing into your eyes, examining your soul and what felt like your heart. Did he already know? It sure felt like it.

"I have a big decision to make, but i want to ask you before i come to a concrete decision."

He nods as a sign to continue talking, acknkowledging his position in helping you decide.

"I might have to move away. To natlan more specifically. I've recieved a dream~ job offer that i simply cant refuse, unless i was faced with new circumstances here in Mondstadt."

"Hm, And how do i play a role in this?" He asks as he folds his arms and leans back against the stone wall.

You explain to him his part, and he lets you talk until you are completely finished. you tell him your feelings, your worries, your doubts, and your hopes. Every single one that included him in the package. He looks at you sternly the whole time, but he looks hurt at the same time and you wonder why.

"Well, i honestly dont know what to say to this y/n. You know i cant leave Mondstadt if we were to persue eachother."

"I know."

"Then why bother telling me? Why not just leave, hm? Before damage could be done? before you told me all this, confirmed my hopes in our relationship but crushed it with the fact that you 'might' leave? You should have just spared me and left!"

He looks emotional and teary eyed, much more that you're used to seeing from a man who held such a cool composure 24/7. Have you hurt him that much? Does he hate you?

"I can always stay if you wan-"

"No. Its your dream job, and you shouldnt pass it off. I just cant promise that i'll wait for you."

He steps closer to you, inches from your face. His breath is warm and it contrasts with the cold rainy air. He slowly takes your hand and hold it in his, then lands a soft passionate kiss onto your lips. A few seconds of the kiss pass and he breaks for air and looks at you, making strong magnetic eye contact with you.

"Y/n, I can't wait for you."

"You dont have to. I can stay."

He runs his hands up your arms and grips firmly onto your shoulders and kisses you again, and when he pulls back he lets out a heavy sigh.

"There's no staying, just be safe. Please."

Your throat swells like a rock is stuck and your eyes burn hot along with your ears. You cant muster any words, you just stand there maintaining a sorrow eye contact for a few seconds.

As you both stare in silence, he slowly lets go of you, and as soon as his hands depart from yours, he turns and walks out and into the road. The further he walks and fades from your vision, the further you slide down the wall until your behind hits the wet floor as you curl up to your knees. Hard, Hot tears stream steadily down your cheeks as you hide your head in your knees, sobbing hard yet silently. Your heart aches and your stomach churns.

You want to run and look for him, grab him by the waist and embrace him in a hug from behind as you cry against his back, but he has already erased you from his plethora of memories as he sulks in his room with a drink. The night is weary and so are you. You walk home, replaying the scene in your mind over and over, and the instant you step into your home, you fall to your knees and sob once more.

You dont even close the door behind you. You cant do anything but cry, you had no idea you felt so strongly for Kaeya, but you had to put it all behind you.

He probably had.

What feels like an hour or two goes by and you barely made it to the couch, where you lay sprawled out, half on the couch and half not as you stare into empty space, thinking of nothing but everything at once. Why did his mood snap so quickly? Why did he cut you off? Was it self defense? What could he gain by pushing you away? You had no clue, but you didn't want to dwell on it and start crying again, so you just lay there trying to fall asleep.

Suddenly, a warm, slender hand grazes your back and rubs up and down softly.

"I'm sorry."

You jolt a little, but you dont get up immediately.

"How long have you been like this? Its almost night again y/n. Have you gotten up at all!? Your door was wide open, I was worried."

No response from you as you try to analyze the voice. It sounds like Kaeya, but you had remind yourself that he wanted nothing to do with you.

The man sighs and walks away. A hallucination for sure, you thought. The male comes back and lifts you by the shoulders. He sits on the couch and then lays your head onto his lap.

You look up and are met with blue eyes, one scarred and one as normal as you're used to seeing on him, though both glossy as if about to cry.

"Kaeya?"

"Mhm. Sit up Darling, you need to drink water."

You obey and sit close beside him, sipping the water he hands you with both hands on the glass like a child. He puts his arm around you and his hand on your head and gives you a soft yet quite long kiss on the head as you finish your water.

"Im sorry. We can work something out. I know that i shouldn't.. I can't push you away."

You dont fight his embrace as it gets firmer, and his body trembles slightly as if he is crying.

"Do you want me to stay?" you ask sheepishly.

"My dear, its up to you what you want. I'll follow you in whatever you decide. Im choosing to persue you, the rest is yours to seal."

"I want to stay." you state calmly.

"As you wish." He eyes your empty glass of water and gets up to pour you some more. When he comes back you sit against him again, and drink the glass empty, then put the glass on the coffee table and lay your head on his lap.

"Sleepy?"

"Mhm.."

He chuckles and holds you as you fall asleep, giving you tender kisses all over your face. When you fall asleep, he carries you bridal style upstairs to your room and tucks you into your bed. For a moment he stands there and ponders leaving you to rest, but the guilt of the words he said yesterday and seeing your state today convinced him to stay at your side. He walks to the other side of the bed and crawls in beside you, wrapping his arms around your waist and gives you one more peck before falling asleep.

You wake up once in the middle of the night to use the restroom, and when you come back to your room you're awake enough to process the fact that Kaeya was indeed in your bed. You crawl up into where you were in the bed before but this time facing him. You run your fingers along his face, feeling every bone and inch of his smooth skin, his tan beauty enhanced by the glow of the moonlight that peeked in through the window across the room from the bed. Your run your fingers down his hair and admire how his hair falls down his body. You've only been this close to him once, but never had you touched him like this. Your face was red and your smile was definitely pronounced, and as you stroke his cheek his eyes slowly open to see your expression.

"Good morning y/n~" he smiles and wraps his arms around you softly.

"How did you sleep?"

"Actually, its midnight."

"Oh, i see. Well, lets fall back asleep shall we? Or are you wide awake?"

You don't respond immediately but instead wrap your arms around him and hide your face in the crook of his neck.

"Back to sleep.."

He chuckles and brings you closer to his body, rubbing your back and stroking your hair until you both are hazy and about to fall asleep.

"I love you..." you whisper, half aware of what you just said and half not.

He pauses for a second, then gently squeezes your body as if to be his response back.

"I love you too.." he whispers back, his words echo in your mind as you drift to sleep, your dreams filled with nothing but happiness and him.

You would stay in Mondstadt, but occasionally take trips to Natlan for a few weeks, and would try to take Kaeya with you if he wasn't too busy. The two of you became inseperable, and quite the item for some time, the story of your romance left most who heard it in tears.

After every time you tell the story, he grips your hand and grabs your face softly making you look into his eye.

"I'm glad you stayed."

He says as he pulls you in for a tender kiss, which is usually embarrassing in public but you dont mind in this case, because it was of genuine emotion and not of his flirtatious teasing.

You really do love him.

NOTES!!!!!!!!!!!

This was my first fanfic LMAO

#genshin impact kaeya #kaeya alberich x reader #kaeya x reader #genshin kaeya #kaeya alberich #kaeya genshin impact #genshin impact #genshin impact imagines #diluc x reader #diluc ragnvindr #genshin zhongli #zhongli x reader #tartagalia x reader #Spotify

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justoneday-namjoonii · 3 years

Text

Quarters. | 9

☼1 • 2 • 3 • 4 • 5 • 6 • 7 • 8 • 9

prompt: “I don’t know why I’m crying, I just-...I really love you, like, just staring at you really fucks me up.” — soul-gazing

pairing: Jungkook x reader

warnings/au: please keep warnings in mind—dysfunctional relationship with a capital D, toxic relationship themes, but they’re attempting to get better, probably inaccurate therapy but i tried, m-ish, humor(i try), mentions of drug usage, cheater cheater pumpkin eater?, fluff, angst, boxer!au, iceskater!au.

authors note: Hello!!💖it’s been a while since the last update but here we are. ✨This chapter is pretty long✨. Unlike some of the other parts, it is following the timeline of the previous part(pt. 8) so just keep that in mind. See m.list for other parts. Enjoy!🥰

“Do it again, you need to stop relying on your right leg so much!”

Your coach yells for the third time in the last hour, she’s being a tyrant today. Your poor ankles are about to break off, your legs are straining and the cold air is starting to feel like vengeful needles. It’s been about two months since the incident with your leg and the doctor at your last check up granted you freedom to skate again. You’re glad it did to because you were about to go crazy. After the scandal came out about you and your ex-coach judge, she asked you if you wanted to get back into pairs. She went on about how Lucas was open to joining pairs again and that maybe you could get back with him—tempting offer. You’ve thought about it, though you still haven’t made a decision. It has been months since your injury, you can no longer use it as an excuse to take things easy.

Determined to get it right, you skate back to your starting point and try it again. You skate forward, bending your knees just slightly to gain more momentum and once you turn, you take off into a triple salchow. Perfect.

”Finally,” You mutter, skating over to the edge of the rink where your coach is just getting off a phone call.

“Okay, Lucas will be here on Thursday to practice with you,” She smiles, tucking her phone in her pocket, “there’s a competition in two months and I think you two should sign up for it.”

“Coach, I haven’t decided if I want to get back into that,” You put on your blade guards and walk over to the lockers, “I just don’t know yet.”

“Think about it,” She leans against the lockers as you untie your skates and put them in your bag, “if you’re seriously pursuing this career, you have to be flexible. You’re not getting any younger. I hate it just as much as you do but you’ll get positive exposure with him and maybe even pick up a sponsor for the season.”

“Fine,” You zip up your duffel bag and slip your hoodie on, deciding to leave the yoga pants on, “but I need a break. I worked a night shift last night so I’m only standing because I took three espresso shots and I’m about to take another one, I’m exhausted.”

“I know you are, try to get some rest this weekend. You’ll be at the ballet studio for half of next week so you won’t be on the ice,” She says that, hoping it’ll give you some relief, “just don’t forget to soak your feet tonight.”

You gather your stuff and walk out of the center, waving at Carrie the desk clerk like a zombie. It’s only 8 o’clock but you’ve been here for two hours, you feel like you’re in a time loop. An eternal warp created to keep you totally spent. When you hop in your car, you crank it up and turn the heat on. Not long after, your eyelids begin to feel heavy so you drive over to the closest coffee shop. When you look down at your phone, you see a missed call from Jeon Jungkook. All prior emojis have been removed from his contact.

His call will stay missed, just like the other five. You’re not in the mood for his sob story. About two weeks ago, you decided that you two needed to take a break but he took it hard. You remember sitting on your couch with crossed arms and staring at him as he twisted and squirmed uncomfortably.

“What kind of break?”

Are there different kinds?

“The kind where we stop seeing each other all the time, I don’t know what kind that is, Jungkook. But I can’t deal with this right now, it’s causing me major stress and anxiety...”

“You can’t deal with me?” He sounds hurt.

“Not with you Jungkook, with your crap. I have a ice skating career to try to work out, a job, school, the last thing I need to worry about is whether you can control yourself,” You frown, “you were just at my house with my niece and next thing I know you’re out getting high and fooling around with other girls.”

“You’re still upset about the photo,” He concludes, “baby, I told you, it didn’t go anywhere with that girl, I pushed her off. I wasn’t completely sober but I know I didn’t let her-”

“That’s exactly my point, you were doing drugs. And for what? You don’t need it. I understand a little bit of smoking every now and then but I can’t handle when you do that other stuff. That night was a disaster. I got stabbed, how does that even happen? But of course, it would happen to me,” You massage the sides of your temples. “I’m just over it, I’m tired.”

“You want to give up on us? Just like that? I’ve apologized a thousand times, I don’t know how to prove to you that I’m sorry,” He twiddles his fingers and bites at his bottom lip, “I don’t know what else to do.”

“I’m not giving up,” You defend, “we need some space to work on our selves.”

“Why can’t we work on ourselves together?”

“We’ve been doing that and it doesn’t work.”

The conversation continued on until you two ended up arguing for a good hour before you lied, saying you had to go to class. He left and you haven’t heard from him since, not a a call, a text, a call, not even a like on any of your recent posts. He’s taking this well.

“Why did you do that!? She’s gonna think I called her,” Jungkook snatches the phone from Jimin, “fuck, are you trying to get me killed?”

“Come on,” Jimin roles his eyes with a grin, putting his boxing gloves back on, “you guys can’t stay away from each other, you expect me to believe you two aren’t talking-”

“I’m serious, we haven’t talked for weeks,” Jungkook locks his phone with a frown, tucking it in his gym bag, “she’s done with me.”

“Oh, aw man,” He is serious, “I’m sorry, I didn’t know you guys broke up.”

He had been by you and Jungkook for the entirety of the relationship, it always seemed like you preferred things to be spontaneous. Admittedly, he knew Jungkook would do something that pushed you over the edge one day but he didn’t think it would be so soon.

“We didn’t break up,” Jungkook mumbles, tying his hair back with a head band, “we’re just taking a break, that’s what she told me at least.”

“Aw, that sucks,” Jimin has to contain his amusement, it’s not funny but the fact that Jungkook is giving you full control over the relationship is unusual to him.

“Every time I think about trying to talk to her, I just remember that face she makes and that tone she uses. That’s when I know she does not give a single fuck, it’s scary.”

“Is there a reason she’s being so hard on you? Don’t get me wrong, you were in the wrong. You shouldn’t have been there but it’s been weeks.”

“Her past relationship was rough on her mentally and emotionally. When she was young she had some things happen to her that causes her to have a hard time trusting others.”

“If you knew that then why did you do what you did?”

“I don’t know, okay? Everyone's been beating me up about it but I just don’t have an answer for you. I said I was sorry,” Jungkook shakes his head, fists making brunt contact with the punching bag, “I just I miss her,”

“It’ll be alright, she’ll come around,” Jimin holds the bag, keeping it still for the lovesick boy, “just give it some time. Hey, I’m taking my niece to the ice-skating rink in town, you should come!”

Jungkook, dramatically collapses to the ground, laying back on the ground with his boxing gloves on his face. “Ice-skating, why would you suggest ice-skating!?” He whines. “That’s literally what she does, it’s just going to remind me of her...”

“Aw Kook, I know,” Jimin can’t help but giggle at Jungkook’s overreaction, “that’s okay, you’ll be fine, and besides,” He pulls him up from the ground and pushes his shaggy hair back, “you can’t stay away from each other forever..”

“What about this one?” You step out of the dressing room, turning from side-to-side to let her see, “I like the color.”

“That’s the one,” Harmony scrolls through her phone, eyes going between you and the screen, “perfect.”

“Harmony, you’re just saying that!” You whine, turning to look into the mirror again with a frown.

“Y/n, this is the 11th dress you’ve tried on, it looks great. I’m serious.”

“Okay, I’ll go with this one then,” You smile, going back in the dressing room to change back into your clothes. Yuna’s having a party for the charity she works with. All of the money donated goes to buying toys and clothes for kids in foster care and orphanages, you attend every year.

“You know, I heard Jungkook might come with Taehyung,”

Ugh, you forgot that your groups of friends are also friends. Jeon Jungkook, you still consider him your boyfriend in some aspects, but you don’t want to face him right now. Maybe you’re dragging this out too far but honestly, you don’t care. You love him but right now, you’re doing too well to let him crawl himself back into your life. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t creeping on his social media every now and then, you do care enough to see how he’s doing on there.

“Hm,”

“That’s all you have to say?” She giggles.

“Yup.”

“Did you officially dump his ass yet?”

You step out of the dressing room, rolling your eyes harder than necessary.

“Look, what happened to you was terrible. You couldn’t skate because of him. You caught him with another girl and you still let him take you home,” She was still bitter about Jungkook taking you away the way he did, she still thinks she should have insisted more.

You clear your throat, “I rather not talk about it.”

It’s been admittedly awkward every time one of your friends bring that night up. On one hand, you understand why they bash him so hard but on the other hand, it’s hard to hear. You two leave the mall and grab lunch to eat in the comfort of your car..

During this break, you’ve decided to try and take things slow, relax. Admittedly, it would be nice to have Jungkook around again, to run errands with, to cuddle with. It’s hard not to miss him, you knew it would be.

“We should go to the pop-up ice-skating rink on campus today, it’s a family thing I think,” Harmony squeezes ketchup onto her fries with a thoughtful him, “it sounds fun.”

“It’s funny you say that, Lucas invited me to go ther. He was going to go with his family, I told him I probably wouldn’t be able to.” You sigh.

“Oh, that’s right! The prince is back in town,” Harmony always had a thing for Lucas, even in high school. When you two were partners years ago, she still had a crush on him, “then we definitely should go. Are you getting back into pairs with him?

“Yeah, we’ll do one season together next year.” You have to admit, you are excited to get back into the practice with one of your best friends.

“I’ll definitely have to brush up on my ballet lessons and I was always a bit too shaky during lifts. Our instructions used to say if I don’t look comfortable during lifts on the stable ground, I can’t expect to look good while I’m being lifted and Lucas is still skating. I trust Lucas a lot more now so I think it’ll go well,”

“Jungkook will love that.”

You take a bite of your chicken sandwich with a heavy sigh, “He’ll live...”

“Uncle,” Yona sits with her little brother in the back seat while they wait for Jungkook to finish pumping the gas, “why does your friend look so grumpy? Doesn’t he want to go skating with us?”

Jimin glances back at Yona and smiles, thinking of how he should explain Jungkook’s situation. “He’s just upset, he’s fine.”

“What is he upset about?” Jimin hesitates for a moment but Jungkook signals that he’s running inside for something.

“Well,” He turns to face her, “can you keep a secret?” She eagerly nods. “Kookie is a little sad because he misses his girlfriend.”

“Oh, what happened to her?” Yona frowns, fearing what Jimin might say.

“Nothing happened to her, he’s okay, they just haven’t seen each other in a long time,” He rakes his brain, trying not to say too much about Jungkook’s love life, “but it’s okay, he’s alright. Just try to understand, he’s not trying to be a grump, he’s just a big teddy bear who pretends to be tough when he’s sad,” He grins, “but don’t tell him I said that.”

“Oh,” She nods adorably, pitying Jungkook, “I won’t,”

in the nick of time, Jungkook comes back with a receipt and mumbles something about the poor management in the convenience store. Jimin notices how Yona looks at him with sympathetic eyes but Jungkook doesn’t seem to notice. He’s too wrapped up in his phone to see that a 9-year-old is pitying his dysfunctional love-life.

It doesn’t take long before the four of them arrive at the skating rink and Jimin is helping, Juda, Yona’s sleepy 5-year-old brother out of the car. Yona takes the liberty of escorting her self out and walking over to Jungkook.

“Hi,” She looks up at him, not even a little intimidated by his towering stature over herself.

Jungkook looks around, as if she’s talking to someone else. “Hi,” He gives her a small wave, “it’s Yona, right?”

“Yes,” She nods, walking by his side, “uncle said your girlfriend skates, do you skate too?”

Jungkook mentally cringes, bracing himself for whatever Jimin told this little girl about his personal life. “No, I’m a boxer, she’s the skater.”

“Ahh, ice skating is prettier than boxing, you should ice skate too,” She looks back at Jimin and Juda walking side by side, wondering if she should walk with them or stay with Jungkook. Just when she was about to further judge Jungkook’s life choices, Jimin and Juda catch up. Jimin leads the four of them to the skate rental booth where Jungkook avoids eye contact with the girls behind the counter. It’s hard enough to be in your environment, let alone be surrounded by couples and families skating to their hearts content. It’s not the same without you, it doesn’t feel like he should even be trying to enjoy himself after what he did to you.

Jimin and the kids get their skates on, but Jungkook tells them to go ahead without him. The more he sits here, the less he wants to be here.

“We decided to come and skate for a little bit, I’m sorry I wasn’t able to take your invitation, I didn’t think I’d be able to come.” You and Harmony skate out onto the ice.

Lucas stands at the edge of the rink, smiling. “It’s okay, I’m here with my family so don’t sweat it, hey! You wanna practice a routine, for old time sake?”

“There are way too many people to be practicing a routine. Besides, I’m already sore from practice yesterday.”

“Where’s your boyfriend? I thought you told me he skates with you sometimes,” He skates a circle around you, a toothy grin on his face, “I want to meet him.”

“He was busy,” You lie. You don’t know where Jungkook is or what he’s doing, “It’s just us.″

Somehow, he believes you and skates off with his family while you breathe.

“You lie,” Harmony shakes her head as if to say shame on you.

��What was I supposed to say? I’m not gonna burden him with my personal problems.”

You two go back and forth until she surrenders, claiming she’ll leave you a Jungkook’s relationship out of her mouth for the rest of the day. You highly doubt she can but you appreciate the effort.

Nononononono—why is he here? And blonde. Your eyes widen, your palms get sweaty, just seeing him affects you. You’ve missed him. Judging by the way he’s sitting on the bench with his skates beside him, he looks sad. Who is he here with?

”Y/n, Harmony, hey!” Jimin skates over to you with two little kids by his side, they’re so cute. “What’re you two doing here?”

”Jimin? Hi, fancy meeting you here, we decided to come last minute,” You’ve connect the dots now, “who are these two cuties?”

“I’m babysitting my niece and nephew,” He holds both of your hands and the both of them say a shy little greeting, “say hello guys,”

“Hi,” Yona waves at you two and you greet her with a bright smile.

Jimin glances back at Jungkook who has yet to notice you. “Y/n, can I talk to you for a minute?” You nod.

“Harmony can you please watch them for a second?” “Me? Um, I guess but-”

You skate to the edge of the rink and Jimin follows, you already anticipating what this conversation is about.

“Jungkook is here.”

“I know, I saw him,” You deadpan.

“Look, I know what happened between you guys and he probably doesn’t want me to say this, but he’s been the biggest bitch since you two split, I’ve never seen him so at odds with himself.”

“What am I supposed to do about that? That’s not my fault.” You frown.

“I’m not saying that you need to do anything,” Now he understands what Jungkook meant about your infamous tone. “I just wanted to let you know, I figured you haven’t talked.”

“I’m sorry,” You hold your face in your hands, “I’m not trying to be mean, I just have a lot on my mind and I wasn’t expecting to have to deal with him today.”

“Maybe you two can talk, I’m not saying you should get back together but maybe talking face to face will help you find common ground?”

That’s advice that you know you should take but the thought of talking to him makes your stomach uneasy. It’s easier to ignore him, erase him from your life while you figure out what you want. You’re very childish in the aspect of talking things out, he is too.

“Here he comes,” Jimin looks over at Jungkook who is slowly approaching you two, “I’ll give you two some space-”

“Jimin, I swear, if you did this on purpose!-” Your threat is cut short when he skates away and Jungkook skates up to you. As if you don’t even see him, you quickly skate away, uninterested in anything he might have to say.

Jungkook knows he can’t possibly out-skate you. He mumbles a few curses before skating over to Jimin and the kids as frustrated as ever. For a moment, he almost changed course because Harmony, his biggest hater, is with them and she is one of the last people he wants to see.

“Jungkook, hey,” Jimin sighs, dreading the angry frown in Jungkook’s brows, “I’m glad you decided to-”

“Did you know she was here?” Jungkook cuts straight to the punch, not paying any mind to Harmony whose staring at him as if he’s a mass murderer.

“No,” Jimin shrugs, voice low in order not to alarm the kids who are skating near by, “you know I would have told you.”

“I’ll be in the car.” He skates off, anxious to get off the ice but he’s stopped when another skater bumps into his shoulder.

“Sorry!-”

“Don’t worry about it,” Jungkook shrugs, but just when Jungkook was about to leave the guy gives him a weird look.

“Wait, what’s your name? You look so familiar,”

“Jungkook,” He responds with a bit of impatience, “I don’t think I know you from anywhere, sorry-”

“You’re Y/n’s boyfriend! She showed me some of her pictures pictures,” Lucas smiles but Jungkook’s eyes darken, “I’m Lucas, we’re competing in pairs again next season, I’m sure she’s told you.”

“Oh, I didn’t know, probably slipped her mind,” You haven’t mentioned it on purpose. Then again, how could you? You haven’t talked in weeks.

Just when he thought this day couldn’t get any worse, he meets your partner, and he’s not ugly,

“She said you couldn’t come because you were busy, did you come to surprise her?”

“Something like that- I’m sorry, I gotta go.”

“Okay, well...nice to meet you,” Lucas waves him off but Jungkook doesn’t pay him any mind.

He thought this might go differently, why did he think that? As soon as he saw you, that tug in his heart came back, that desire to be around you came back. When you walked away, it made him feel like crap, you didn’t even want to look at him.

While he’s skating off to the side to leave the rink, he sees you taking off your personal skates and putting them in their bag. Of course, your caddie is right next to where his heavy black boots are. He enters the room opens the caddie with the little pass-code they gave him when he rented the skates. You spare him a glance as you tie your sneakers and he sits to get his shoes on.

“Did you have to ignore me like that?” He decides to speak up.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” You frown, “I don’t even know why you’re here.”

“Since when did you start caring where I go?” He bites back. “You’ve been ghosting me for fucking weeks and suddenly I’m not allowed to go out?”

“I didn’t want to see you...I was doing so good, I was forgetting about you.” You lean back, not giving him eye contact.

”Wow, just what I wanted to hear,” He thought you would say something like that but he didn’t expect you to be so blunt.

“You can’t say you’re surprised, can you?”

“No, but the least you can do is talk to me.”

”Fine, that’s fair. What do you have to say?” You stand to your feet, your bag tight in your hand/

”Believe it or not,” He gets up to lean on the wall behind him, “I love you, so I'm letting you drag me along and make all of the rules but I’m just asking that you communicate with me, I need to know what you want,” He tends to ask this question when he’s most desperate for your good side to emerge.

“Why don’t you tell me what you want? I’m not the one going around making decisions that hurt our relationship, not recently anyway.” You throw a jab at him, you couldn’t contain it anymore.

“If you’re trying to make me feel like shit, you’ve succeeded. You’ve been succeeding for weeks now, it’s actually starting to get to me, mentally.” As he says that, an unsuspecting few individuals come in to get there things.

“Can-” You pause and walk over to him to eliminate the awkward distance, “Can we talk about this somewhere else?”

His spirits brighten a little because at least you’re interested in continuing the conversation, you haven’t even attempted to do that until now. So when he stutters out an “okay”, his feet move as soon as yours do. He’s walking right next to you and you find yourself keeping your arms crossed, away from his hands that you would normally be holding. By the time you walk out to the rink, Jimin is still with the kids and Harmony is gone, probably in the restroom. You find a secluded area near the concession area and take a seat, he does the same right across from you.

“Do you want to break up?”

He puts it out there. He’s never been the one to hesitate, especially when his heart is on the line.

“What do you mean?” You swallow, not expecting to be confronted with that question.

He almost scoffs because you’re having a similar reaction to his reaction to you telling him you wanted to take a break.

“Do you not want to be in a relationship anymore? If this isn’t something you’re willing to do anymore, I need you to tell me so I can grieve in peace...I feel really lost right now.”

“Grieve? I’m not going to die if we break up, Jungkook, and I never said I wanted to break up—I never said I didn’t love you either. That’s not what this is about, it’s not about whether we love each anymore, it’s about trust.”

“How can I gain your trust?”

You look around, making sure no one is listening in on you two before mumbling out your answer. “I don’t know...I just don’t trust you, I can’t tell you how to make it up to me because people who screw me over, I normally stay as far away from them as I can.”

All you can think about is the lies from your birth-mother, the betrayal and humiliation that came over you when you found out about your ex. Situations like that always come to mind when the subject of trust is mentioned. You’ve been hurt and Jungkook knows that, he knows when you feel like you can’t trust someone, you shut down. You want nothing to do with that person, your pain blinds you—its your character flaw.

“You’re lucky I’m even talking to you right now,” You mumble, nibbling at your bottom lip.

“Yeah, I know.” He scoffs, a look of disbelief that turns into an understandable shrug of his shoulders.

“I’ve always thought of you as someone I didn’t deserve, you know that,” He glances down at his twiddling fingers, “when we got together, you changed me and I’m so grateful for that...I was such a shitty person before I met you- I mean, I’m sure you think I’m shitty now but I was way worse.” It surprises you when you see tears welling at his eyes that he quickly wipes away, tattooed fingers getting a bit wet.

“Jungkook,” You lay a hand over his with sympathetic eyes, “I still love you.”

“Seriously?” He glances up at you, surprised.

“Yes...You hurt me, you made me feel stupid and I’m not over it...But I never forget those times where I made life difficult for you, you never made me feel irredeemable. No matter how awful I acted, you never made me feel like a burden. That’s more than I can say about a lot of people in my life.”

The more you talk this out with him, the more you realize how harshly you’ve been treating him. It doesn’t change how you feel about your relationship, but it does open your eyes to the standard you’ve been holding him to. You don’t know if you’re ready to start again.

“Well, I have to be honest with you,” He looks at you through his dirty blonde locks, “it still hurts like hell to have you treat me like a stranger. That shit is painful, even for me.”

“I’m sorry,” You murmur out an apology before you can really think about it, “I’m just upset at you is all...” Slowly, you take your hand off of his and your eyes wander back to his dear-like eyes.

“Everyone’s telling me I should let you go but I don’t want to. I just need to know that you’re willing to wait for me, and to work on yourself...”

“I’ll do anything, I’ll do whatever it takes for us,”

Shortly after that day, you found yourself thinking more and more about your future. It made you cringe at one point, what were you planning to do with the rest of your life? Whatever you planned to do, you always imagined Jungkook would be by your side. Now, you’re coming to terms with the fact that things may not go as planned.

“Y/n, are you ready?” Lucas calls your name from outside of the dressing room.

”What are you doing in here? This is the woman’s locker room,” You open the door, now fully dressed in your new leotard.

”We’re the only ones here,” Lucas stands with a matching outfit, far less sparkly as yours.

”Why does she always pick these leotards for me? You always get the toned down looks-” You walk over to the mirror, furrowing your brows, “Oh, actually, this one is kinda nice.”

“She knows you’re the most dramatic out of the two of us, maybe that’s why,” He shrugs his shoulders before quickly running back out into the ballet studio. Your least favorite part of your career is the ballet lessons, it’s the most grueling.

“Come on out, Y/n, we only have the studio for the morning so we need to use our time wisely.”

“Sorry,” You walk out with an urgency, “the costume fits okay, a little snug but it’s doable.”

Coach gives you a knowing look, she’s been floating the idea of a diet around. As committed as you are to your craft, dieting is one thing you don’t think you need to do well. You try to stay fit but sometimes you’re more concerned about your dwindling love life than you dress size. The ballet instructor emerges from around the corner and you cringe, the next few hours are about to be painful.

Yet, as the class progresses, your thoughts drift farther from the positions and you find yourself zoning out completely.

At one point in time, you couldn’t imagine being without Jungkook. Out of all of the people who’ve come and gone out of your life, he stayed. He became your best friend and your first love.

“I don’t want to be here anymore, please, just let me go home,” You sat on the hotel room floor, hair pin in your hands and a painfully cold ice bag on your ankle, “...I can’t go back out there.”

She stands with crossed arms, her unchanging expression not doing anything for your emotional state.”Y/n, you are a professional, and do you know what professionals do?”

”No.”

“They finish the competition, no matter what. You need to stay for the judging, “

“Why? I fell on my biggest jump on live television. Cindy. I look like an amateur...There’s no way in hell they’ll even consider placing me. That means I’m done for, I might as well kiss nationals goodbye.”

”That was the last program, you still have a chance-“

”Not after Charlotte’s routine! You said it yourself, I had to be flawless or Charlotte would take my spot in the qualifying team, there was no room for error. This is the one time it had to be perfect...” You use the bed to help you up and you sit down n the edge of it.

”It won’t be perfect every time. You work harder than any girl I know, and not just in this sport, you work hard at whatever you do and you support yourself, you’re the only girl I know who’s parents aren’t paying for you to be here. You deserve to be here, you made one mistake, one. It’s not the end of the world, sweetheart,” Cindy takes a seat beside you, a comforting hand going to your shoulder, “these things happen.”

You take a deep breath, trying to calm down and think rationally. Cindy is trying her best to talk you off of the ledge but you’re very much still there. She says you work so hard, but what do you have to show for it? You’re doing this alone a majority of the time. Your family only comes to support you sometimes, they don’t have a lot of free time to spend on your hobby. Your iceskating is a glorified hobby to them, they won’t say it but it’s true. After they told you to pick a major and find a good paying 9-5, they stopped paying for your iceskating. They’re paying for school but that’s it, you’re supporting yourself in every other aspect. That gave you all the reason to try to prove to them that you were an exceptional athlete. To prove to them that you did it all on your own, that’s your only goal. Yet, the more you reach for that, the farther you get from it.

”Listen, I need to check on the other girls, alright? I hope you reconsider.” She pecks your forehead, a motherly affection that you’ve come to appreciate from her. She is like a mom in some ways. She cares for the entire team, and she would never say it, but she has a particular soft spot for you. She can see how much you want this, how the ice can take you to a different place.

You were meant to do this, she always tells you that. She saw the fire in you as soon as she accepted you on her team. Your passion attracted her to you, you never stopped, you had so much drive. Some people are meant to fight tooth and nail for what they want, sometimes you have to ask yourself, why do I have be one of those people?

Ignoring your better judgment, you packed your bags and took the 2-hour drive back to your apartment. All while you were fleeing the city to seek refuge at home, you received multiple phone calls from Jungkook but you couldn’t bring yourself to call him back. When you got home, you took off your tracksuit and sank face first into your coach.

As much as you wanted Jungkook to come to the competition, you insisted that he stay and take that job. He hasn’t been boxing as much so any extra art job he can take, you encourage him to take it. He told you he’d streamed the competition while working on the mural at a nearby bar. His heart sank when you took that fall. You put hours of practice into that routine and perfected it, he had seen you do it flawlessly several times.

All he wanted to do was hug you and tell you that you did well but all he could do was hope that you weren’t beating yourself up. He could only imagine how devastated you were and to not be able to be there for you, he couldn’t stand it. He finished up the mural and you had finally texted him saying, ‘I came home early.’ He went straight to your apartment with the big pink bunny he bought for you, you need it even more now.

”Hey, it’s me,” He opened the front door and announced himself softly and walks further inside.

The television barely illuminates the living room but he sees you laying on the couch. He sits the bunny down behind the couch so you can’t see them before walking around to greet you in your depressing state.

“I wasn’t expecting you until tomorrow, baby,” He rests a hand on thigh and kisses your cheek, “you must’ve known how much I was missing you,” His attempt to make you smile goes painfully unnoticed.

He bites at his bottom lip in thought. “Did something happen?...”

You swallow the lump in your throat and finally look him in the eyes, “Did you watch my second program?”

“I did, you looked beautiful-”

“I’m quitting.”

He turns his whole body to you, brows deeply furrowed like a cartoon character. “What?”

You cover your face with a pillow, successfully hiding your tears, “I’m calling Cindy to tell her I don’t want to do it anymore, I quit.”

“Woah, wait, why?” He takes the pillow from you to see your face, “Y/n, calm down, what’s going on? Tell me what happened.”

“I- I didn’t make the national team, that was my only chance until next year. All my hard work went down the drain and everyone saw me screw up..” You wipe your tears with your sleeve.

“Hey, it’s okay, you cry if you need to,” He pulls you into a hug, cradling your head to his chest, “I know this is tough for you but it’s not the end of the world, it’ll get better.”

You pull away from him as if he were suddenly hot to the touch and bury your face into the arm of the couch. “You wouldn’t understand, the pique of my career was riding on this, and I blew it. It feels like the end of my world, okay?”

You know your words are muffled by the couch, that’s probably for the better anyway. “T- that’s just how I feel...”

He doesn’t pry any further after that. He knows there’s not much he can say to change your mind right now. Instead, he scoots closer to your side and places a comforting hand on your back, rubbing soothing circles as he waits for you to continue.

“I have nothing if I lose this, there’s all this pressure on my shoulders and its tearing me apart...” You turn to wipe your face and sit up. “I love skating, it’s all I’ve ever wanted to do...if I stop, I wouldn’t know what to do with myself.”

You’ll never forget that night.

He lifted you into his lap and kept his arms tight around you. “You’re so much more than just your skating. You’re so good at but it’s not all that you are.” Jungkook has a way of talking you off of the edge but that night, you were especially down on yourself.

“Yes it is...”

“No it’s not,” He sighs, “look, I know what it feels like to find your identity in something and then all of a sudden, that something is gone...When my portfolio got rejected, I felt like a failure. My family never got behind the boxing thing, so I’ve always tried to find another way to support myself just in case for whatever reason it doesn’t work out...I didn’t start realizing that until recently. I’m constantly torn between giving up one dream for the other but I want to do both, you actually inspire me to do both.” You furrow your brows, briefly abandoning your own issues to listen to him.

“You work so hard and you’re showing your family that you can do this, you just have to believe in yourself, and you know what? You’re doing amazing. Tonight was just a bad night, it happens.” He squeezes you tight and you do the same, arms fastened around his neck as if it would kill you to let go.

You didn’t need to say anything after that. You settled your mind and you were no longer at the edge, you were still close, but not there. With your head resting over his shoulder, you try to peek over the couch to see what he dropped back there when he walked in.

“Hey, what’d you think you’re doing?” Jungkook leans forward and your grip around him is loosened so you can no longer look back there. “You think I got something for you?”

You look down a bit embarrassed that he caught you, “Well, yeah...you did, didn’t you?” You smile for the first time tonight and he breathes a sigh of relief. Finally.

He was going to tease you for wanting your gifts even though you just had a meltdown. But how could he? He wants to keep this smile on your face for as long as possible.

“Sit,” He lifts you off his lip and back to your previous seat on the couch, “no peeking.”

You hold your hands over your eyes, excited even thought have no idea what it might be.

“Okay, open.”

When you move your hands to see you squeal in excitement. “Oh, Jungkook! It’s so cute!” You stand up to take the pink bunny that’s almost more than half your size. “Thank you,” You lean into him with the bunny between you two, “it’s so big and soft, like you.”

“Yeah I know,” He sways from side-to-side with you in his arms, “you feeling better?”

You muffle your sigh into the stuffed animal, “I still wanna quit.”

“Oh stop,” He pulls the from your grip and tosses it onto the couch, “you’re just being bratty now,”

“No I’m not,” You whine, the issue still very fresh, “I’m still sad...I just really like my gift and I’m happy to see you...But I am still upset.”

“Aw, I’m sorry,” He lays on the couch and beckons you into his arms to lay on his chest, “let’s cuddle you until you feel better then, will that help?”

“Maybe...”

You’d be lying if you said you could live without that side of him.

A few days later, you’re surprised you hadn’t heard from him. But when you get back from the gym with a missed call from him and a solemn text to ‘call back when you can’, you actually call him back.

“Is something wrong?”

“No, nothings wrong. Thank you for calling me back.”

His voice sounds relaxed but a bit anxious.

“Did you need something?” You sigh, pouring your boiling water in your mug.

“Are you free to go with me somewhere at 11? And then maybe, we could grab dinner? Just-...Don’t be mad, please.”

Anxiety bubbles in your chest.

“What’re you talking about?”

“I signed us up for couples therapy.”

“You did what?” Somewhere in your mind, you had wanted him to bring this up—you never imagined that he actually would.

”You said we don’t know how to work on ourselves together, I read that therapy helps with that. Will you go with me? If you don’t like it, you never have to do it again I swear.”

“Jungkook...I appreciate the effort, I really do, but how did you find this therapist? Do you trust them?”

”Of course. He has great reviews online and my-...Well, my mom found him actually.”

You pause, a bit taken aback. He talked to his mom about your relationship and he took her advice about seeing a therapist? He must have really taken your words to heart about getting help.

“Can you pick me up?”

“Sure, I’ll be there in 20.”

When he picked you up, you were reminded just how well he could clean up. Sure, he always dresses so well and smells amazing, but he’s different today—you can tell he put in a lot of effort. You’re glad you decided to do your makeup and where a nice sundress, you would have felt terribly under-dressed.

“Hi, how can I help you?

“Hi, we have an appointment for Jeon at 5, with Seojoon.”

You stand next to Jungkook at the front desk, your hands tightly clutching your purse. It’s hard to not think the woman is judging you and Jungkook for being here. She’s probably seen hundreds of people come into this office but something in you can’t shake the feeling. She directs you two to the waiting room and says he’ll come get you two in a few minutes.

“So,” You begin, glancing at Jungkook, “I’m nervous...”

“Me too.” This is new for the both of you. In only a few seconds, who you assume to be Seojoon emerges from the hallway and you look at him a bit wide-eyed.

“Hi, Jungkook, Y/n, are you two ready?”

“Oh, um, yes.” You stand up in sync with Jungkook, already wanting to run out of here but you resist.

You have to admit that the office is really nice, not stiff and sterile looking, the energy is very calming. Seojoon opens the door to a cozy-looking room with tons of natural sun light. There’s warm-rose colored couch that you assume is for ‘the couple.’

“Alright, you can take a seat right there, make yourselves comfortable.” He smiles, taking a seat and you two do the same.

“So let’s get right into it. What brought you two here today? If you could both tell me your separate answers, that would be great.” Despite Seojoon looking at you directly to presumably go first, you divert your eyes and look at Jungkook to say something first.

“Well, we’re- I think we’re going through a lot right now and I just want to save our relationship.” Jungkook sits back, resting against the arm of the couch as he gazes at you to give your answer.

“What about you, Y/n?”

You glance down at your lap, feeling very out of your comfort zone and not confident enough to verbalize what you would like to say. Alas, you try.

“I feel the same way, we’re not in a good place and I’m confused about what to do-...I just want what we used to have.” You confess a bit of your true feelings but ignore the longing look Jungkook gives you.

“When did you start feeling like the relationship was changing?”

“Fairly recently. We were fine, at least I thought we were until I saw him with another girl back in an old lifestyle that I thought he gave up...”

Seojoon diverts his attention away from you and to Jungkook. “Jungkook, do you want to share a little bit about that?”

“Not really,” He answers honestly at least.

“Why not?”

“To be honest, I don’t know why she keeps throwing the same jab at me. I’ve told her the truth but she doesn’t want to hear it. I went out that night,” He almost glares at you, “I didn’t plan to. I ran into an old friend and I just-...I thought it was harmless and I got caught up...”

Seojoon scribbles something down. “Okay, so can you fill me in a little bit. Are we talking about unfaithfulness? Addiction?”

“Unfaithfulness,” You interject. “he said he didn’t cheat on me but...” You mumble, your confidence faltering for some reason. “It’s hard to believe that.”

“But you think he did so you have some distrust. Were you unfaithful, Jungkook?”

“It doesn’t matter if I say I did or I didn’t, she thinks I did.” He shrugs.

”Y/n,” Seojoon puts an end to the death stare you had on Jungkook, “can you tell Jungkook what cheating looks like to you?”

”Not sleeping with her doesn’t mean you didn’t cheat on me. Letting her put her hands on you- And I don’t care if it was just a kiss! You shouldn’t have been in that situation, and for me to have to see it on social media? I could have killed you I was so mad. You should ask Jungkook what cheating is to him. We obviously have different standards for defining it...”

”What does cheating look like to you, Jungkook?” He heeds your suggestion without any push-back.

”To me,” He hesitates, feeling a bit scrutinized, “it’s when a person violates the intimacy of the relationship by giving it to someone else.”

“What kind of intimacy?”

“Emotional, physical, every kind,” He turns to you, “I wouldn’t do thingst that I do with Y/n with anyone else, not by choice-”

“Yes you would! You did...Are you trying to tell me that you were assaulted? That she forced her way on you?”

“I was blitzed! I don’t fucking know. All I do know is that she got on top of me and I pushed her off. That’s it. I swear, if anything else happened, I don’t remember it.”

“I don’t care. You know what I’ve been through, to even allow another girl to even get close to touching you like that...It was a slap in the face.”

Seojoon’s ears perk up at the mention of your past. “Did you have to go through a similar situation in a previous relationship?”

“Yes and he knows this. I was being cheated on before and the guy had a literal baby on the way throughout our entire relationship...It was traumatizing.” It stings his ears to hear you say that. But it’s true, he knows your past and he didn’t let it stop him.

“What happened must have triggered you,” You nod to yourself, “but you’re here to try to work through forgiveness and build trust. If you two are comfortable with it, I’d like you do do two exercises; one here and one when you’re alone. The first one that you’ll do here, I need you to face each other, preferably close, and I have some questions for you two to ask each other.”

“Like this?” Jungkook answers instantly and turns to you, getting closer to you than he has in weeks. You face him slowly, eyes wavering a bit. His face has always been a soft-spot for you, staring at him makes you feel weak.

“Actually,” Seojoon stands up, gesturing for you to do the same, “two chairs might be more comfortable, yeah? Let’s go to my other room.”

You follow Seojoon to a small room with three chairs a small table in front of them. Jungkooks pulls seat out so they’re facing each other. When you look up to acknowledge him with deliberate eye-contact, for a moment he thinks you might be softening.

“I want you all to start with ‘I’ statements, tell your partner how you feel or how you felt in this case. Try to maintain eye-contact and truly listen to each other.”

“I’ll go first,” You volunteer because you want to get this over with.

“I feel alone and helpless when you go back to your old habits, I feel like you’re hiding things from me...” You find a way to keep your eyes-locked to his.

“I’m not asking you to be perfect but I just want you to make me feel special to you...Like you wouldn’t dream of being with someone else. Because I don’t think of loving anyone else, and trust me I’ve tried to imagine it but I can’t,” You bite your cheek to keep from crying, “you make it so hard to trust you. You don’t listen and you don’t change until it’s too late.”

Being emotionally inept is something you are both too good at. It’s difficult for you to share your true feelings with a clear mind, but when you do, you can never guess what will happen next.

“I feel trapped by you. I know I fucked everything up, okay? You don’t have to keep reminding me.” His tone is harsher than you anticipated.

“I’m trying to put in the fucking effort to help us, and I’m giving you time. But when you tell me you still want me but you won’t even let me come around, it’s confusing. You’re confusing, that’s just how I feel.” His brows furrow and you notice Seojoon watches the exchange intently.

“But I miss you and I want you back, I don’t want to take a break,” He leans forward with his hands firmly gripping your knees over your dress, “I know you think I’m an asshole but I try to change, I’m trying, you know I wouldn't bring you to this if I could think of any other way to prove that to you.” The strain in his voice only stirs more emotions inside of you.

“Jungkook,” Seojoon calls his name softly and Jungkook looks over as if he forgot he was there, “try not to engage in any physical, okay? It can be overwhelming.”

“Sorry,” He takes his hands from you and sits back, “that’s all I want to say.”

“Alright, well, um,” Seojoon clears his throat, eager to break the tension up a little bit, “unfortunately our session is up but I want to give you two a list of exercises and talking points. I know this was a consultation appointment but I want to give you some things to work on at home. I’ll have Kelly type up your homework, alright?”

“Okay, thank you,” you both thank the therapist but you get up with an urgency and leave the room before Jungkook can follow you. When you make it out to the waiting room, you spot the bathroom and you bolt to it. Before you have to spend a car ride with him, you need to get your emotions together.

“Mr. Jeon,” The receptionist calls him from the hall, “this is for you, you can bring it back to the next appointment for a discount.” Jungkook halfheartedly thanks her before going to the car. He doesn’t even know if there will be another session. He needs to smoke before you come out and you’ll freak if he smokes while you’re in the car.

“Why did I come here...” You look at the mirror and frown, you look so rough. It was nice to get everything out in the open but you knew he’d get intense eventually. Only when the toilet flushed did you remember that there were multiple stalls in here. When you look away from the mirror to fumble through your purse, just trying to avoid talking to her.

”Hi, how are you?”

“I’m okay, how are you?”

“Oh god, nervous, I’m nervous. Me and my husband, we’re newly weds, our appointment is in five minutes and I really don’t know what to expect. Did you have an appointment with your partner?”

“I did,” You sigh, “it was-...It was fine, don’t be nervous.” In your attempt to comfort her, you find your self in a highly hypocritical position. “Me and my boyfriend, we’re different so ours was a little- A little chaotic but I think it helped a little,” You hesitate, “I don’t know.”

“That makes me feel a little better, hopefully my husband behaves himself,” She tosses her wavy brown hair over her shoulder and smiles, “well, it was nice meeting you.”

It takes you a moment but you gather the strength to wave goodbye and go face your boyfriend.

”Excuse me, Miss, I think your husband forgot to grab this.” The receptionist waves you over and hands you a little folder.

”Oh,” You try to hide the blush forming on your cheeks. he’s not my- We’re not married.”

”Oh, I’m sorry! He only put his last name on the appointment so I thought it was your name as well. Sorry about that, have a great rest of your day.” She bids you farewell with a flustered smile.

When you walk outside, you see Jungkook leaning against the car. You thought he might’ve been smoking but you can’t detect any small. That’s a relief.

”You feeling okay?” He questions gently.

You nod, hopping in the car with the desire to be home already. He gets in the car and glances at you from the corner of his eye, he worries that this might have been too much for you.

“Where do you want to eat?”

“There’s a ramen place down the street, that’s fine with me.” You suggest, eyes trained on your phone.

The air in the car isn’t tense or stiff, its just quiet. There’s a lot to unpack from the session and you figured Jungkook was thinking through it too. That’s why when you two arrived at the ramen shop, took your seats, and placed your orders, the silence was getting to be a bit too awkward for you.

“I like the new hair, you’ve never gone this blonde before,” You glance up at him, trying to start a conversation, “it looks good.”

“Thanks, it was an impulsive thing. I heard you decided to get back into pairs,” He brings the coke to his lips, “I was surprised to hear that.”

“Oh, yeah,” You figured he would find out soon, “I’m back with Lucas for the season.”

“Good for you,” That’s not a reaction you were expecting from anti-pairs-skating Jungkook. Then again, you know him well enough to know that he’s probably keeping his true opinion to himself.

“The receptionist gave this to me,” You pull the paper out of your purse and show it to him, “I think it has additional information.”

“Let me see,” You hand it to him, “hm, soul-gazing? What the hell is that...” He reads over the description and it makes him giggle. “Nonverbal communication between lovers, allows couples to explore intimate places in the relationship. We do this already, but it’s a little more than eye contact,” He recalls those dreamy moments that he used to share with you so often, gazing at you with a smile.

“We can try that later maybe,” You avoid his smile with a glance out the window.

“Okay. So, about the session today, I hope you understood where I was coming from...I didn’t expect to say all that, I’m sorry if it was too much.”

“Don’t apologize, I wanted to hear how you felt.”

“I’m sorry,” He extends a hand out on the table, hoping you’ll take it, “I’ve thought about what I’ve done and I’ve tried to repent for it. But at the end of the day, it’s up to you. But just tell this once, you miss us, don’t you?”

“I do, Jungkook...It’s just, I’m in a tough spot and I don’t- I don’t want to disappoint anyone or myself.”

“You’re talking about your friends or your family?” He frowns at the thought of either party trying to discourage you.

“My family doesn’t know anything about this, it’s my friends who are concerned for me. They saw me get hurt and they don’t want to see it happen again, they want me to be happy.”

“Don’t listen to them, all they do is talk shit about me and try to tell you what you need. The only people who have a say in this relationship is you and me. We choose what makes us happy, not them.”

“But I’m not happy,” And it doesn’t change the fact that you’re still being judged, “I’ve actually been depressed when I think about us, when I think about what we used to have and what we have now, how did this happen?”

“I’m sorry I did this to you,” He sighs when you finally reach out to take his hand, “I never mean to hurt you,”

“I want you back so bad sometimes,” You break, letting your true feelings out to him, “but just because I want it doesn’t mean I should, it’s always been hard for me to separate the two.”

“That never stopped you before,” He flashes that smile, the one you fell so hard for on the roof of his car.

“Now look where I’m at,” You take your hand back, “going to therapy with you.”

Jungkook took you home and sunset had passed, it was already dark. You found yourself inviting him in, hugging him longer than you should have when he was on his way out. Why were you holding on to him so tight? His bomber jacket lands on the floor and you relish in his arms, you haven’t felt like this in a long time. Maybe it won’t hurt to let him in, indulge. It doesn’t take long before you let him kiss you for the first time in weeks. It feels new, it can happen a thousand times and it’ll always feel new.

But then your phone begins to ring and reality washes over you like a cold shower.

“Wait,” You pull away from the kiss and slide off of the counter to his dismay, “I need to get that-”

“Ignore it,” Jungkook cups your jaw, trying to persuade you with longing eyes, “please ignore it-”

“I can’t, it’s my mom, something might be wrong,” You quickly answer the phone and walk into the living room. “Hello?”

“Where are you?”

“I’m at home, is something wrong?”

“You forgot, didn’t you? Your brother Leo, you were supposed to pick him up so he could stay with you for the night. me and your dad had to take Milo to his Taekwondo tournament for the weekend.” Your mother stresses over the phone.

“I’m so sorry! Mom, seriously, I totally forgot,” This is the worst possible timing, “doesn’t Leo have his license, he can drive here, can’t he?”

“We have the car. Don’t worry about it, it’s handled now, his friend came by and he’s staying with him.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t know how that crossed my mind,” You can’t help but feel as if you’ve disappointed her by forgetting such a simple thing, “I’ve been busy, I’m prepping for the next season, I’m working and in school, it’s a lot right now-”

The conversation ends with a cold lecture from her and a solemn goodbye when she hangs up. You massage your temples, and look at Jungkook who’s coping with the best part of his day being ruined by a phone call.

“Everything okay?”

“I forgot to pick up my brother, my mom asked if he could crash here but I forgot all about it..”

“When have any of your siblings actually visited you? Except for your sister when she needs a babysitter.” Jungkook always sports a defensive tone when your family comes into the conversation.

“He’s only come over a few times. But he has friends who live over here so that’s normally why,” You take a deep breath. “She sounded frustrated so I know she’s upset.”

”Don’t stress about that,” He comes in close, wrapping his arms around your waist. “your mom shouldn’t beat you up about that, especially since she knows how much you have on your plate.” He smooths down your hair and kisses your forehead gently. That innocent forehead kiss quickly migrated down to your neck and you bite your tongue.

”Jungkook, please,” You get out of his embrace and leave him longing.

"Why do you keep pushing me away? I know you, this isn’t like you. You push me away but never for this long,” He follows you to your bedroom where you kick off your shoes and take off you cardigan. ”If you’re serious about making this work again, you’ve gotta help me out a little here.”

You feel him looming behind you, so close that you feel the warmth of him on your lower-back, or is that his hand?

“You’re here, aren’t you? I’m being really nice right now,” You step away from him, “but you need to stop.”

“Stop what?” He feigns ignorance.

“If that’s what you were hoping for you should just go,” You pick up his jacket and hand it to him, “it’s not happening.”

“Ok, but do you mind if I stay the night?”

You stare at him in disbelief for a moment, debating whether or not that’s a good idea.

“Why? It’s not even that late yet.”

“I don’t want to make the drive home, I’ll leave first thing in the morning.” He pleads, those big round eyes helping his case immensely.

“Fine. But you’re on the couch,” He looks a bit disappointed but he was expecting that, “I’m gonna shower, you can wait for me or use the guest bathroom if you want.”

With that, you walk off into your bedroom to get your clothes and then into the bathroom in the hall. Though you hesitated to let him stay, it’s really not a big deal now that you think of it. He’s stayed over more times than you can count so you feel no need to punish him by saying no.

Baby steps.

Jungkook falls into the couch, relieved and anxious—but mostly relieved. He was sure you were going to throw him out. When he hears the shower turn on, he begins to wonder what you might be thinking about, do you want him the way he wants you right now? If so, you’re hiding it pretty well. Just being in your home makes him feel comfortable and happy, that and your presence. You’ll be a while in the shower so he figures a few moments of relaxation on the balcony won’t hurt.

When you step out of the steamy bathroom, you hug your robe tightly to your body. Curious to see what he’s doing you peek out of the hall and see him on the balcony, shirt nowhere to be seen and smoke wafting from the little stick in his finger. Jungkook has always been a temptation, a forbidden fruit so to speak. You had one bite, and that’s all it took.

It’s a warm night, that’s probably why he’s showing all of the neighbors his tattooed glory, you giggle to your self at the thought. You run to your room to slip a t-shirt and shorts on so you can join him, you can indulge him in conversation at least.

“Hey, I was going to get a snack,” You open the sliding door and he looks back at you as he exhales a a cloud, “are you hungry?”

“I’m okay,” He puts it out in the ashtray, “thanks,”

“You didn’t have to put it out for me,” You step onto the patio and close the door behind you.

“I was done anyway,” He says that but he clearly wasn’t, he’s just being sweet, “how was your shower?”

“Good,” You sit beside him, “you can go ahead and shower if you want to, you know where your clothes are.”

“I will in a minute,” He looks out, enjoying the view of the city, “it’s beautiful out here...”

“Yeah,” You smile, reminiscing on the many moments you two have shared together on the balcony.

“So,” Jungkook sighs, probably reminiscing on the same thing, “do you want to do that exercise?...”

“Exercise?- Oh, the eye-contact thing, we can...” You turn to him and he does the same, “so, do we-”

“Shh,” He holds a finger to his lips, “we’re not supposed to talk,”

You swallow, eyes locked on his and his on yours. His eyes are so dreamy and mesmerizing, they always have been. This eye-contact is giving you a great excuse to analyze his face. The little mole under his lip, his cute nose and cheeks—you’re trying not to look at his body but it’s hard to do that right now.

He’s doing the same thing to you. Your eyes, nose, lips, he’s just taking it all in as if your a sculpture at a museum. Looking at each other like this reminds you both to see each other, to really see the human you both decided to love.

“Jungkook,” You know you’re not supposed to talk, “don’t cry...” You thumb the tears away from his cheeks, your motherly habits kicking in.

“Shit,” He wipes his cheeks, “I don’t know why I’m crying, I just-...I really love you, like, just staring at you really fucks me up.” He’s so emotional, it’s more endearing than anything.

You cup his jaw and kiss the apple of his cheek, then his lips. His hands are almost shaky when he reaches up to hold your face, you lead his hand to your face to let him know that you don’t mind.

“I love you too,” You breath, your head in the nape of his neck, “but I can’t do this, I shouldn’t...”

Once you realize you’re no longer in your own chair but in his, it’s too late to pretend you’re not equally as desperate. It escalates and the best and worst happens.

#quarters #jungkook angst #jungkook fluff #jungkook smut #jungkook x you #jungkook x y/n #bts angst #bts smut #bts fluff #bts x you #jimin angst #jimin fluff #jungkook boxer!au #jungkook au #jungkook ice skatin #I don't know what this ending is lol

169 notes · View notes

purpleyellow · 3 years

Text

Hide & Seek

NCT 24th member / Dream 8th member

Bee’s Masterlist

“The two times Bee avoided Mark and the one she didn’t”

a/n: Feel free to share your thoughts with me. Requests are open!💛

Growing up, in general, is a pain in the ass, and Bee isn't the happiest about having to deal with it. She doesn't know if it's because of how she was raised, or if it's just her personality, but the girl cannot see herself as an adult.

You see, adults are supposed to manage five different tasks, have most things thought out, and try to handle everything that comes their way. Bee, however, wants to lay in bed at every minor inconvenience and wishes she could freeze time so she can digest what's happening.

She can see herself as those five-year-olds who pout, cross their arms and look away when you tell them they can't have ice cream for dinner. Just like she can see Jeno as those parents who bribe their kids to eat vegetables with a false promise of going to the ice cream parlor on the next day.

"Why don't you want to talk to him?" Jeno whispers to Bee midst the chaos in the van. The first time she successfully avoids Mark is when the members are leaving SM after a long day of figuring out stuff for the comeback. Things were only starting to come together, and the boy knows that if Mark and the girl don't figure out everything soon it's not going to be a fun process.

"I don't have anything to say" She mumbles looking out of the window. Jeno turns her head back to him before continuing.

"Maybe Mark has something. Or maybe he has questions"

"Good for him" She simply states. "I already said everything, so I'm not helpful to talk to"

"And you stand by everything you said almost six months ago?" He asks while trying not to laugh "You didn't think about it anymore? There, you said it and moved on"

"Yes, I stand by everything" She lies. Bee has relived every single conversation she has had with or about Mark especially lately, cringing at some stuff she said, making up better answers, and overanalyzing every little word even if they don't mean a thing. Jeno probably knows she does that, yet she's not going to admit that easily, because admitting means confronting the situation.

"Just maybe think things are exponentially worst when you're trying to avoid the topic instead of solving it once and for all" The boy mumbles and she rolls her eyes. Mentally thanking the manager who happened to pull up next to their building

Trying to escape that conversation as fast as possible, Bee holds onto the back of the seat in front of her, accidentally hitting Jaemin in the head, and jumps past Jeno, who frows as he watches her bolt out of the vehicle.

The girl only stops as she reaches the elevator because of the light feeling on her hoodie pocket. She had left her phone behind, throwing away all the work she just put into getting to her room without speaking with anyone else.

Walking back to the van, Bee keeps her head down to avoid making eye contact and waves off Renjun after he shared a proverb about people skipping a step only to return two. Honestly, he might have said something different because the meaning flew right above her head.

The manager, who had also left the vehicle to check on something at their apartment, throws his keys for her to catch and tells her to be quick.

Bee goes straight to the seat she had occupied and starts searching through the openings where the phone might have fallen from, ultimately deciding it was somewhere on the floor. Patting away underneath hers and Jeno's seat, she finally moves on to the row in front of them, getting scared by a light and the muffled sound of her phone ringing.

Almost like a miracle, she was getting a call from someone who might have saved her a couple of seconds of searching. Reaching out for the device, her smug grin turns to a frown as the name "Minhyung from Canada" shines on her screen. A confused noise leaves her mouth while Bee gets up from the floor, though her debating over either answering or not doesn't go very far due to said Canadian standing at the door of the van.

"I thought if I helped out find it, you would finally listen to me," Mark says, ending the call. Though, it seems like that was the only line he had rehearsed because after it they both stay in awkward silence, making Bee look down at the device in her hands before raising an eyebrow.

"Well, my hand touched it before the call got connected?" She, not as confidently, lies again.

Mark shakes his head adamantly "No it didn't"

"Do you have eyes on the floor?" The girl frowns trying to make that topic last longer but he doesn't fall for it.

"Yunhee," He says in a disappointed tone which Bee copies by saying "Mark"

Mark raises one eyebrow feeling rather playfully. "Mark Oppa?" and she rolls her eyes while planing an escape route.

The boy seems to remember what he was there for and scratches his head, suddenly bringing back the awkward mood.

"We should clear everything up, you know" His tone is back to uncertain surprising her by the sudden change and Bee feels her hands clamming up. She knows he's waiting for her to show any kind of reaction but for some reason, she cannot have any.

"Guys, I have to get the car back to the building. You can keep the conversation going at either of your dorms" The manager pops his head through the driver’s seat before climbing it. Bee hands him the keys and both idols slowly step out of the vehicle. Her mind is still blankly looking for a way to avoid listening to whatever the older had to say when the man magically says something that fixes all of her problems. "Actually, Mark come here, it's about 127's schedule tomorrow, something came up"

And she doesn't stay to listen as she bolts to the elevator that's taking her to her safe and Mark-free bedroom.

☆☆☆

The second time Bee avoids him, or gets saved by another person, happened a few days after the van accident when she rapidly types on her phone while running to the end of the hallway where the SM elevators are.

The sound indicating the doors opening on her floor catches her attention and Bee doesn't have to fully look inside the place to see Mark standing on the edge, ready to walk out of it. Almost without thinking, her feet make her turn left into another hallway and she instinctively makes her way to the room she had visited many times before.

Bee knows for a fact Mark is supposed to go to the studio she had just left, so the fact she can hear him doing the same route she is, makes adrenaline pump inside of her and the girl starts sprinting as fast as she can.

She finds it stupid how her brain suddenly read that moment as her being chased by something dangerous, but there's not enough time to let her process the situation. Instead, Bee barges through the door of Kun's studio and throws herself onto the space between the empty couch and the wall.

Crouching so she's hidden by the armrest, Bee simply says "I'm not here" before staring at the floor in front of her, making the WayV leader question why he's even surprised at that point.

A series of three knocks on the door makes Kun get up and go greet whoever had the decency to announce themselves before interrupting his work like half of his groupmates usually do. Keeping the door half-opened, he's half surprised by Mark standing a little distance away while seemingly sorry to be in that position.

"Hyung, my bad for coming here. But I was wondering if I could talk to Bee" The boy says scratching his eyebrow.

"I mean, of course, you can" Kun starts making the girl's heart drop "I'm not sure why you're asking me, though. And next time you see her, let her know I also need to speak with her"

"Oh, yeah. Sure?" Mark says uncertainly tilting his head and closing his eyes. He stares inside the room through the small space Kun allowed and sighs defeated "Sorry about it, I'll just go"

Waving to the boy, Kun waits for him to walk a little before closing the door and turning to the hidden girl. "You know we could see the top of your head, right?"

"Wait, he saw me?" Bee asks with wide eyes, supporting her head on the armrest and the boy rolls his eyes "Probably yes. The kid is just too polite to say anything about it"

Standing up from the ground, the girl sits on the couch to wait for a little before leaving the room. Kun takes the opportunity to throw himself back on his chair and interrogates her.

"Why are you avoiding Mark?"

"I stole his charger so now he's mad" She pouts looking at the ground making the older scoff.

"I'm not buying anything that simple. Don't think I haven't noticed you've been almost daily in our dorm instead of hanging out with your unit. We like when you visit but it became a little weird when we're not even there yet you still go hide inside our apartment"

"It's too complicated" She sighs craning her neck to check the clock "And I'm actually late for something, so you'll have to deal with my stupid high school problems sometime later"

"They're only stupid because you thought over them a million times and began downplaying whatever they are. You can't do that forever and you know it"

"Confrontation makes me cry, so I'll try my best to keep pushing it away" Bee smiles like something uplifting was said and stands up "See you later"

"Sure, good luck with your date" Kun smirks turning back to the table and checking on his work. Noticing she hadn't actually left the door he lets out a chuckle "Chenle told me about it"

"It's not a date. Chenle was literally invited to tag along" Bee rolls her eyes and he shrugs despite not looking back at her.

"Sure, have fun"

☆☆☆

Ever since Mark first showed his confusion over how things were going, Bee tried really hard not to make the situation awkward for everyone. She didn't want them to be extra careful around her, nor feel like this big dramatic thing was going on between the group. And to lessen her worries, the dreamies seemed to act the same they had always been.

There is the fact she isn't talking to Mark, but much to her surprise, the girl realized she never really relied a lot on speaking to him. Pretending everything was fine became part of her routine for that two weeks.

But just like Kun caught onto her distancing herself, a bunch of staff members also did. The choreographer who first introduced them to the routine asked her a couple of times if everything was okay, and the producer noticed the idol was out of the room the time she was finished, not really mingling like the rest of the boys.

Those two didn't really say anything about it, since she was still getting work done. That isn't the same for the management team, who not only saw her change in behavior but feared how much of that would be noticeable in videos and the overall dynamic of what they had waiting for the comeback.

"Bee, can I talk to you for a second" One particular manager called for her as she was resting on the corner of the dance studio.

Bee gathered her things in a pile on the floor and got up to follow him out of the room. The man had worked with NCT for a really long time, but he wasn't the closest manager to her, nor had ever taken care of her individual schedules. She knew whatever he had to tell her wasn't going to be very good.

"We don't want to intrude on whatever is going on in your life. But the moment it affects the group I'm afraid somebody needs to step in" The man sighs walking slowly next to her "If you're not feeling well, or something happened to make you not want to be around the members you need to act on it, or tell somebody so no one gets suspicious of it"

"I'll make sure no one notices it" She mumbles playing with her ring and rolls her shoulders "It's not something to be worried about though. Nothing really happened"

"We'll some people started to point out on Jisung's graduation video that you're often really quiet. Considering your personality it's nothing out of the ordinary, but you can't afford it pilling up and fans talking about it. We're aware of what that saesang said last year and don't think the company forgets easily if more fans start thinking you don't want to be in the group or doesn't belong in it, it's going to be a big problem"

"More people are talking about it?" Bee glances once again to the ring Renjun made her wear.

"It's a small number so far, but there are those who think that by Mark coming back and you being a little quieter, your place might be in another unit," He notices her gaze turning down and places a hand on her shoulder"Don't stress over it right now, just dedicate yourself a little more to the group and show you have a place in it. It should pass after some time"

Patting her, he reminds her to 'go back to normal before heading back to his work. Bee feels a slight headache creeping in and sneaks into a smaller room dedicated to vocal training, where she drops her body on a chair and closes her eyes to either sleep or try to gather some courage and face everything she has avoided so far.

The girl ends up doing neither because a few seconds pass and Mark pushes his head inside the room.

"Can we talk now?" He asks and without any energy left, Bee nods to the chair next to her for him to sit.

169 notes · View notes

hangovercurse · 3 years

Text

Blind Date

After being single for three months, your friends decide to set you and Colson up on a blind date.

Request: Hey!! Could you do one about the reader and Colson meeting by a blind date? Let your creativity go wild ❤️

Colson x Reader

Warnings: Cursing

A/N: This is a little bit different from how I normally write, so let’s see how this goes.

Word Count: 1916

It’s funny how the universe makes things happen. While some people are having their first kiss, others are taking their last breath. Every moment in time is so intricately woven together, it sometimes seems ironic how things happen.

Like tonight, on two sides of California, two very different people were having the same conversation.

“I’m not sure about this.”

“What if she thinks my tattoos are too much?”

“What if he thinks I’m too weird?”

“What if she hates music?”

“What if he hates art?”

“I don’t know if I’m ready for this.”

“I don’t think I can do this.”

Your best friend stared at you from your bed as you paced around the room. “Y/N, you’re going to be fine. You said it yourself, you need to get back out there. Baze says he’s a good guy, and I trust Baze.”

Baze was in a similar situation, laying on the couch as Colson paced around the house. “Colson, dude. It’s gonna be good, she’s gonna like you.”

“I don’t know why I’m so nervous. It’s not like I’ve never been on a first fuckin date before. I used to do this shit every night.” He sighed, sitting down.

You let out a frustrated groan, “I know. I just feel like after everything in the past few years I feel like I’ve forgotten how to do first dates.”

“You’re gonna be great, just be yourself. And remember, it’s a blind date, so if you guys don’t hit it off or something goes horribly wrong, you never have to see him again.” She smiled as you threw her a playful glare.

“Colson, I love you man, but you have to do this. I don’t think you’ve even looked at a woman who isn’t Ashleigh in like three months.”

The light-haired man sent his friend a glare, “I’m sorry that I was recovering from the worst heartbreak of my life.”

You finally sat down, pulling on your shoes. “Maybe it’s too soon. Maybe I’m not as ready as I thought I was.”

Your friend sighed, sitting up and placing her arms around your shoulders, “It’s been three months since you and T broke up. You grieved, and now you need to move on. You deserve this.”

“Dude, you said you were over her. You are over her. Now you get to find someone else and try to be happy. You deserve this.”

“Maybe don’t bring up your disastrous ex, Y/N.”

“But please, for the love of god, bro, don’t bring up Megan.”

You entered the small, classy restaurant, your hands shaking slightly. The entire place was dimly lit, with candles scattered around any surface available. You walked to the hostess stand, “Baker for two.” You told her, a small smile gracing your features.

She nodded, leading you through the floor. “He got here not 30 seconds before you did.” She laughed and you blushed a little bit.

You were grateful he wasn’t late, but you were also grateful he wasn’t extremely early , or else you would have felt awful for making him wait.

You were finally brought to a small table in the back of the restaurant to find one of the prettiest men you have ever laid your eyes on. When his eyes met yours, he stood up immediately, a smile on his face. “Y/N?” He asked.

“Colson.” You responded. He pulled your chair out for you, and you felt heat rushing to your cheeks at the kind gesture. None of the guys you had ever dated pulled your chair out for you, especially not your most recent ex.

“Baze told me you were pretty but this is…” He trailed off, seeming a bit lost for words. “You are absolutely gorgeous.”

He was good at this, good at making you nervous, making you blush like a teenager. “Thank you.” You whispered, “I think you are one of the prettiest people I have ever met.” You returned his compliment with one of your own.

The redness in his cheeks made you smile, a bit of pride rising in your chest. “Baze truthfully didn’t tell me much about you.” He started, “so, what do you do?” He was kicking himself for the lame question, but his mind was half occupied with the color of your eyes and he couldn’t form a coherent thought.

“I’m an artist.” You probably didn’t realize it, but Colson could see the slightest bit of a light in your eyes as you spoke about your passion. “I do graphic designing for websites, making logos and designs and such. That’s my day job, at least. I do some painting and sketching on the side, though. Eventually I’d like to be able to make that my whole job, but it is a hard industry.”

Colson nodded in understanding, his eyes holding the same weight as yours when you spoke of your flailing dreams. You wondered how he knew exactly what you were talking about.

Seemingly reading your mind, he answered. “I get that so much. I’m a musician, so I’ve been there. Luckily, I did make it my full-time job, but I remember before I made it, all the stress and struggles. It gets better.”

You smiled, “easy for you to say, aren’t you like, a big Rockstar?”

He chuckled, looking down, “yeah, sort of. But I wasn’t, you know? Like before all this I was dirt poor and the picture of a starving artist. I mean I’m still not like, winning Grammys or shit now, but I’m not there anymore either.”

You nodded, studying him. “I was lucky, I had support through art school and got a job as soon as I graduated. I’ve never had to struggle in that sense. I don’t think I’d be happy staying where I’m at for the rest of my life, but I am definitely in a stable place right now.”

He seemed so interested in what you were saying. Soon the conversation moved into the type of music he made, and then to your art styles. You flowed together easily, never becoming awkward or uncomfortable. As the night went on, your nerves fell away, as did his.

You were talking about your favorite movies when your food arrived, but even then, your conversation continued. At one point, he paused mid-second. “You’ve got something, “ he pointed to his face. “Fuck it, this is gonna be so cheesy.” He grabbed his napkin and wiped the bit of sauce you had on your cheek off.

You blushed in embarrassment, “thanks.” He was right, the moment was very cheesy. His hand pulled away slowly, lingering near your skin a bit longer than necessary. You didn’t mind though.

As much as you hated to admit it, especially since you had only known him for one night, you could be really into him. And that scared the fuck out of you.

Colson was, too, scared shitless. Why the fuck was his heart fluttering every time you giggled. He’d just met you. But already he could tell you were something special.

He paid for dinner, like a gentleman, even though you protested. “It’s our first date, I am paying.”

You liked the way that he said, “first date,” implying there may be more. “Well, I guess I’ll just have to pay next time.” You said, smugly.

His eyebrow raised in question, a small smirk on his face. “We’ll see about that. I might just give them my card ahead of time.”

“Then I’ll just have to get there before you.”

You two laughed at your small competition as he led you to the parking lot, his hand in yours. “Did you drive?” He asked and you shook your head no.

“I called an uber. Speaking of…” You reached for your phone before he stopped you.

“Let me drive you home. If that’s okay?”

You let him lead you to his car, hand still tightly in his. He pulled the door open for you, guiding you in. Everything with him seemed like a new experience, his gentleman gestures catching you off guard.

“You should play me some of your music.” You told him when he got in. He smiled at that, pulling his phone out and opening his library.

“I don’t know if you’ll like the type of music I make.” He blushed, scrolling through to find a song he thought you might like.

You rolled your eyes, “well I like you so I think, by proxy, I’ll like your music.”

He bit his lip to hide the way his face lit up at your subtle confession. “Just don’t say that I didn’t warn you.”

You heard a somewhat familiar rhythm, something you had probably heard on the radio. “Wait, this is you? I swear I’ve heard this before.”

He smiled, glancing over at you before turning his attention back to the road. “Yeah, me and my friend Matt dropped this right before my last album release.”

You let the music play, listening to his voice as he sang. “You know, this somehow sounds exactly like you and nothing like you at the same time. Like if you hadn’t told me I don’t think I would’ve known this was you. But I do know so I can hear it.”

He chuckled but didn’t say anything, occasionally looking at you as you nodded your head to the music. A few more of his songs played from Tickets to My Downfall and you seemed to enjoy it. “You’re really good.” You commented. Your voice was truthful, you weren’t trying to flatter him, you were just saying what you thought. Your words were genuine.

He didn’t know why but hearing that from you meant so much more to him than he expected it to. He finally parked in front of your house, getting out and opening your door for you. Like a true gentleman, he walked you to your door, pausing before you unlocked it.

You turned to face him, looking up into his bright eyes. “I had a really good time tonight.” He said softly. “Probably the best night I’ve had in a while, honestly.”

You smiled widely, “I did too, Colson.” You grabbed his hands in yours, swinging them slightly. “I’m really glad we did this.”

He nodded, leaning closer to you, “would you, maybe, wanna do this again?” He asked, his voice falling closer to a whisper.

“I was hoping I had made that obvious when I said I’d pay next time.” You giggled, leaning up closer to him.

He rolled his eyes playfully, “just wanna make sure you didn’t change your mind.”

“Trust me, I didn’t.” You whispered, before leaning up and connecting your lips with his.

The kiss was short and sweet, but it seemed like everything you had ever wanted. When your lips left his, you both stayed very close to each other, hands still clasped. His face was still only inches from yours, eyes studying your every feature.

Eventually he let out a small sigh and leaned back up. “Well, uh, goodnight, Y/N.” He smiled sheepishly, scratching the back of his neck as he took steps backwards towards his car. You smiled at him, waving a small goodbye before turning to unlock your door.

Your hand touched the handle before you turned around, finding Colson in the same situation at his car door, still looking at you. “Do you maybe wanna… come in?” You asked, biting your lip. His face lit up, a smirk highlighting his features.

“I would love that.”

#mgk #mgk imagine #mgk angst #mgk fluff #machine gun kelly #machine gun kelly imagine #Colson baker #colson x reader #colson baker imagine #colson baker fluff #colson baker angst #colson imagine

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fangirlovestuff · 3 years

Text

Seasons of Love - Chris Evans x reader

a/n - hey lovely people!! this idea would not leave my head and i really like it so here i am writing it:) the years in the fic are according to chris’ birth year (1981). also, this is more chris centeric, which i haven’t really done yet and i liked how it came out, i’d love to hear your thoguhts on that if you have any! enjoy<3

Summary: the story of chris and you, told through specific seasons of your life. a fluffy (and a bit angsty) coming of age story.

Word Count: 2.5k

Warnings: like one bad word i think, a teeny bit of angst

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Summer, 1998.

It was a special summer. Chris always knew he'd remember this summer forever. It was the first summer he fell in love.

"Summer is full of possibilities."

You and Chris just finished hiking a trail not too far from home, your water bottles nearly emptied due to the heat, your clothes slightly disheveled. Not too different than any other time you did that together.

The two of you were sitting down under a tree, watching the view, when you spoke that sentence.

"It is," Chris agreed. He turned his head to look at you and continued, "that's kinda awesome."

"Yeah," you said softly, still not looking at him, "but it's also scary as fuck." You chuckled dryly. "It's our last summer. What if we don't make the best of it?"

"It's not 'our last summer'," Chris chuckled, "it's just…"

"Our last summer," you completed with a grin once you saw he was struggling to find the words, finally turning to face him.

"Whatever," he laughed.

"What do you want to do this summer, Chris?"

He frowned slightly. "I'm serious," you continued, "what do you wanna do? Really."

"I don't… know. Same old, I guess?"

"See, that's why summer is so scary!" you turned your whole body to face him now. "It feels like in no time, our entire lives will be just 'same old'. And we'll have endless possibilities, but it will still be just same old! I refuse to admit I'm that boring," you huffed, "at least for now."

"So, what do you want to do this summer?" Chris asked with a smile, amused by your antics.

"Something remarkable. Something I can tell my children about and say, 'when I was your age, I did…' whatever it is we'll do, you know?"

"I guess," he shrugged.

"Okay, so what's something you've always wanted to do but never thought you could?"

He pretended to contemplate it for a second, and before he could open his mouth you cut in, "and don't say something like eat only candy for a week! Something real," you pointed two fingers towards your eyes and then to him, as if to indicate you're watching him.

"Okay, okay," he chuckled, raising his hands in mock surrender, "something real."

A comfortable silence stretched over the two of you as you both thought about it. In truth, you both knew the answer. It was as clear as the summer sky stretching out above you. But in your still teenage minds, it seemed to be as heavy as the noon heat.

When your eyes met his, you laughed softly. "I feel like we were thinking about the same thing, which is kinda stupid honestly. I mean, why wouldn't we ju-"

He swiftly leaned in and planted his lips on yours, the kiss only lasting ever so long before the smiles you both sported got in the way. Your eyes were still closed when you spoke, but you could feel Chris' gaze on you when you started, "yep," you finally opened your eyes and smiled, "definitely thinking about the same thing."

That summer was made of so many forevers Chris truly thought it would never end. Moments that seemed to stretch on in the most beautiful of ways, as if the universe was giving you her blessing, giving you time.

You knew each other so well sometimes Chris thought you were more in his head than he was. And every time he looked into your eyes, every time you laughed, every time he kissed you, every night you spent watching the stars, every day you spent at the beach, or at home, or really wherever, he knew that fear of yours didn't come true.

You two did the most remarkable thing you could've – you've fallen in love.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Autumn, 2000.

Autumn in LA was different than it was back home.

At home, his mom would probably be stocking up on candy for Halloween, and his siblings would be playing around with their dog in the fallen leaves, and he'd be forced to take a jacket with him even if it wasn't even that cold outside because people cared about him.

Not that in LA they entirely didn't, but it wasn't the same. Mostly because you weren't there.

You two talked a big game, sure, always making plans to meet soon. But with the both of you being so far apart, and being so busy pursuing your dreams, it never came true.

And when it finally did, after a while, it wasn't like it was that great either.

"I don't… I don't think we… this-" you fumbled over your words and sighed. "I don't want to hold you back."

"I know. I don't want to hold you back either," he sighed, rubbing your arm in a soothing manner.

You were laying on the couch, his arm around you, pulling you close, and really, it was a weird position to be having this conversation in, but at the same time, he kind of couldn't imagine it happening differently.

He understood what you were trying to say. He thought you were right. But that doesn't mean it didn't hurt to hear it.

"I just… I don't think long distance works that well with us," you continued, and then sighed again. "Ugh, this is terrible."

"it kinda is," he chuckled quietly, and you slapped his chest lightly in annoyance. "You know I understand, right?" he said, more serious this time.

"I know. You know I don't really want to do this, right?"

"I know. But I know why you are."

"Good," you said softly. "My flight leaves tomorrow at 8, so we probably won't see each other in the morning."

"Okay," he replied, simply wrapping his arm tighter around you.

He didn't know if he dreamt it, but the next morning, in the early hours before the sun rose, you came into his room and planted a soft kiss on his forehead.

"See you later," you softly whispered, and a few minutes later, the faint sound of the apartment door shutting reached his ears.

Fall at home was a fun time. Chris loved Halloween, loved watching the beautiful leaves fall, the world around him preparing for a winter's slumber. The air was crisp, the heat, on days when it appeared, wasn't as heavy, and the cold not that harsh. It was beautifully balanced.

Out here though, he started seeing fall not from an outside perspective, but, in a way, from a tree's perspective.

The beautiful leaves fell, and he couldn't reach them again. He was left to stand bare against the oncoming winter cold, a sight that to an outsider would seem impressive, a feat of the majestic strength only nature can possess.

To Chris, it just seemed lonely.

He knew it was a natural process, drifting apart. Just like the leaves falling, it was somewhat inevitable, wasn't it? high school sweethearts were too lucky to be true. But that didn't stop a small but powerful part of him to hope. A hope that didn't come true, and now, where did that leave him?

If autumn at home was balanced, this autumn was anything but. It was almost as if he'd lost an organ, a limb. He couldn't balance the way he did before, he'd have to find a new way, but for now, he just existed in the unbalanced. It consumed his mind, what could he have done differently? Could he have stopped this?

Of course, these questions can't really be answered. Not by him or anyone else. So, he'd grow that limb back. Spring would come, and the leaves and flowers would blossom again.

But that fall, you two fell apart. And in those moments, the bareness of winter seemed insufferable.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Winter, 2006.

Winters always seemed long to Chris.

As a kid, it was because he couldn't really play outside as much, his mother fearing he'd catch a cold. So, he was sentenced to long days inside, which were often very nice honestly, hot cocoa and warm blankets never in short supply. But kids sometimes can't help but want what they can't have, can’t they?

Well, that notion clearly never left Chris, even if he's not a kid anymore.

Winters were always long, but without you, they seemed longer than ever.

You talked on occasion. You come from the same relatively small town, so losing contact wasn't truly an option, especially because you used to be so close. People would always joke about you being a package deal, hanging out together so much it became second nature.

If Chris became too bored in his own house, or just plain tired of his siblings, it was the obvious thing to go to your house, and vice versa. Now, that refuge wasn't an option anymore.

At first, it was noticeable, like a gaping wound that wouldn't close that he couldn't help running his finger over, checking if maybe it healed already. Now, it was only a dull reminder of what used to be.

It's not like Chris didn't date. He did. And from what he heard (again, small town, friends from childhood. People always filled him up on what you were doing, even when he didn't ask.) you were dating too.

He really had no right to say that it bothered him.

You came up in his mind less and less, as time went on. But winters, being gray, and void of sun, full of storms, were always more introspective. That one especially, no one special really being in his life. Not that it wasn't fun, but he missed home, being grounded, happy. He was happy, in a way, just not the way he was used to.

It was full of contradictions, his mind struggling to make sense of his entangled feelings. You weren't there, and it hurt, but really it was so long since you've been there, and there's no one else at the moment, so was he just missing you or did he just miss loving someone the way he loves y- loved you?

The clean snow a perfect juxtaposition to his clouded mind, he decided to take a walk.

The streets were bustling as always, everyone walking around with a purpose, a destination in mind, which allowed Chris to slip between the crowds, unnoticed. He went to a coffee shop, got something hot to busy his hands with, and continued his aimless journey.

He ended up at a park, sitting down on a cold bench. He took a sip from his cup, wincing slightly at his still hot beverage, before sighing, closing his eyes for a split second before opening them again at the vibration of his phone.

Pulling his phone out of the pocket of his jacket, he held the cup carefully in his other hand as he opened the message.

Think of the devil. Although, you were anything but.

How are you?

Before he could type up an answer, his phone buzzed with another message.

I'll be in town in a week, thought we could maybe get a coffee, catch up. If you want.

He chuckled at the wording. Not a question, but a statement. Well, maybe there was some type of question there, between the lines, but to him, the answer was just as clear as the one to your question many summers ago.

Sure. When are you coming in?

Maybe, spring will be here closer than he thought.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Spring, 2015.

Spring was the season of rebirth, the blossoms thriving once more, the weather warmer by the day.

You once told Chris spring was your favorite season.

"Really?" he asked, turning towards you, "why?"

"It's a rewarding season. It's like… for the entirety of winter, the trees were standing bare, the animals were confined to their lairs, more or less. And now, they've made it to see the beauty, the profusion. The next year, they do it all again, of course, but spring will always be there to show them it was worth it. Plus, the weather warms up, but not too much, which is a blessing. Especially to your sweaters," you joked, referring to the countless ones you'd pretty much stolen.

But Chris knew what you meant. The blossoms of happiness were spreading out across his life these days. Not everything was perfect, of course, but it was as near perfect as it could be.

"So, what do you wanna do for your birthday?" you asked next, surprising him with the sudden change of topic.

"Uh, I don't know. I haven't really thought about it," he shrugged. "but there's a while yet. Why, you had anything in mind?"

"Not really," you said, "that's why I asked. Anyways, think about it, will you?" you smiled and patted his shoulder affectionately before getting up, probably to put your empty cup in the sink.

He didn't know the answer to that. He had everything he could want and more.

There was something inexplicably comforting about spring. As a kid, springs always seemed like endings to Chris. The end of the school year, the end of a long winter. Only as he grew older he realized that springs are also wonderful beginnings. It was a fresh start, but also respected the past. It seemed to value the experiences of the past, yet prompting you to open a new page, giving the opportunity to start again.

Chris took that opportunity with both of his hands, especially when it came to you. Sure, every spring there would come the time of his birthday, but that was minor. Really, he celebrated you, all year but in spring especially.

Spring was the season of going to concerts together, you laughing at Chris as he's doing his best not to get recognized in his cheesy disguise of sunglasses and a hat. It's the season of going on spontaneous picnics because, "look how beautiful it is outside, Chris!", and he can't tell you no about anything. It's the season of taking Dodger out for long, long hikes, so when he comes home he falls right asleep, usually in your lap. It's the season of going out in the afternoon and it's warm, but by the time you come back it's night and it gets chilly, so Chris gives you his jacket, teasing you about how you always forget your own.

It's the season of preparing for summer as well, going through the cabinets and moving the winter clothes to the back and the summer clothes to the front. It's the season of finally using the pool again, and inviting his nephews and nieces over as well, and watching you splash around with them, carefully of course. It's the season of remembering that first summer together, and how far you've come since, together and individually.

Growing up was never easy. Growing up together was insufferable sometimes. But you fought, and you grew, and you talked things out. Spring, in a way, resembled the fact that you could overcome anything. Even after the harshest winter comes spring in all of its glory, blossom and vibrant colors.

And so, you two set out for one more great spring, and everything that will come after it. Summer was full of possibilities, but together, these possibilities didn't seem all that scary anymore.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

please tell me your thoughts<3 and stay hydrated besties!! btw, i opened a taglist for only chris & his characters fics so tell me if you’d like to join it / move taglists or really whatever you want to tell me i love talking to people:))

Taglist: @horny-nd-bored @shannon124 @perfectlyharolds @wintersoldierslut @iceebabies @sleepingpapermouse @steverogerswasalwaysworthy @holtzkinnon @angelicl-y @stydia-4-ever @thatoneperson5000 @fangirlfree @kaitcordx25 @bequeening @steve-barry-damon-logan @itscrazycherryblossomcollection @hollandxmarvel @stargazingfangirl18 @readsreblogsfics @onetwo3000 @beritmetal @harrystylesholland @jazbot2000 @anobscurename @xxxtwilightaxelxxx @peggycarter-steverogers @evansphnx12 @starlightcrystalline @procrastinatingsapphictrash

Chris & co. taglist: @patzammit

if you wanna join / be removed from a taglist, comment/message me! much love <3

#chris evans x reader #chris evans x y/n #chris evans x female reader #chris evans x you #chris evans fluff

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dreamingabouttaron · 3 years

Text

Taron Egerton Request

“Request - Taron is on a talk show and the reader has just given birth to a baby girl and he gushes about the baby”

A/N - I also want to throw this wonderful piece of writing out there too! it was only of my first Taron Fanfic’s I read and still holds a special place in my heart - A Feeling Like No Other - Babybeantaron

Taron always got super nervous before interviews, even more so now that COVID had happened and all interviews were happening over video chat. Taron had been lucky enough to lay low over the past few months, spending most of his time with his family.

You were currently sat on the couch curled up under a blanket with your newborn baby laying peacefully on your chest. You watched as Taron paced around the living room, mumbling words under his breath as he walked. You kissed the top of your daughters head and rubbed her back in a soothing manner as you continued to watch your husband pace.

“You’re going to burn a whole in the carpet if you’re not careful.” You said quietly trying not to disturb your sleeping baby.

This comment made Taron stop and face you. As soon as his eyes looked over at you, a huge smile appeared on his face. He had never felt such a love in his whole life. Countless numbers of people had explained this feeling to him but nothing had ever came close to the way he had been feeling over the last 2 weeks. His whole world had been turned upside down and he couldn’t wait to get stuck in with fatherhood.

“You should probably start logging on…” You say as you glance down at the time on your phone. Taron was being called by James Corden from The Late Late Show out in America. You watched as Taron opened up his Mac and set up his Zoom ready to be let into the call.

You watched as Taron brushed down the top he was wearing before getting up quickly and placed a delicate kiss on your lips. “I love you.” He whispered against your lips before getting back in position. It didn’t take long before the call started. James explained too Taron what was going to happen before the interview started. You closed your eyes and listened to the conversation happening on the other side of the room.

“Hello, Taron! How are you doing?” You heard the familiar cheery voice come out of the computer.

“I’m very good mate! Life’s been hectic, but we’re all good here!” Taron sounded as cheery as ever as he leaned back and relaxed into the couch.

“Did I see a picture of a baby posted on your instagram this week?” James butted in. At the mention of his newborn, Taron’s face brightened as he nodded quickly, which made you smile as well. “Congratulations! Is this your first?”

“Yeah. Our first. She’s the best thing that could’ve happened to us. It been a bit of a shock to the system for sure, but we’re figuring it out. They’re actually both sat right over there.” Taron said glanced over in your direction.

James’ face lit up as his voice slowed, “Do you think we could meet her?”

Taron’s facial expression changed at the question; he was super protective over you, and especially your little girl. You could tell he was biting the inside of his cheek like he did when he was thinking something over. After a few moments, he nodded, “Yeah, sure! Give me a moment.” He got up with his beaming smile and carefully picked his sleeping daughter up.

You shook your head slightly and giggled to yourself before closing your eyes again. A moment to two later, he appeared back on screen with his newborn baby in arms. He leant down a placed a sweet kiss on her head before looking up at James.

“Oh Taron, congratulations!” You heard James sing.

“Thanks mate.”

“How’s it been so far?” James asked

Taron chuckled before replying, “I mean I can’t say I’ve slept much in the last 2 weeks but it’s been worth it. I just can’t believe how much I love I have for her. I mean you’ve got kids, right? Does this feeling ever go away?” You could feel your heart squeeze in your chest as he spoke, a huge grin settling on your lips. You really were the luckiest to have him.

“No! Just wait until you’ve had another..” Your eyes snapped open and widened at his comment causing Taron to laugh. “If you couldn’t have been my wife’s face at the comment. I don’t think we will be having any more anytime soon.”

“What was the hardest thing so far?” James asked.

“Oh no question. It’s the not sleeping. The first week she only slept for about an hour tops at night before she would start to cry. I think I’ve really struggled with that. I’ve got to admit, I get quite grumpy if I don’t get much sleep. But honestly, I’m trying to take each moment in because I know time is going to go so fast.”

Thankfully, the interview didn’t last long. Once it finsihed; Taron carefully closed his laptop and walked back over to you with his daughter still sleeping in his arms. He sat down next to you and you cuddled in close, placing a hand on your baby’s chest feeling her little heart beat. Taron couldn’t be happier in this very moment. He’s got you, his amazing wife and he’s got this little baby girl. His whole world could be complete.

#taron egerton #dad!taron #i love taron #taron egerton imagine #taron egerton fanfiction #taron x you #Fanfiction #Fatherhood

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atinydise · 4 years

Text

Ateez reacting to the others members not liking their s/o

❦ Genre: Angst.

❦ Pairing: OT8.

❦ Word count: 15k.

❦ Requested: Yes, thank you! 🦋

❦ Masterlist.

HONGJOONG

Hongjoong noticed that you were the only one initiating the conversation with his members. You were always asking them if they had a good day or if they needed anything. Even at the dorm. But the members weren’t really comprehensive or talkative with you. They were simply thanking you. Nothing more. To solve this problem, Hongjoong reunited the whole team in the kitchen. You were watching a movie in his room, so you won’t need to hear this conversation. “What is going on Hyung?” Asked San, sitting on the counter. “I wanted to have a serious talk with all of you.” “What did you do guys?” asked Seonghwa. “All of you. It means that you are included,” added Hongjoong, looking at the eldest boy. “Wow... if Seonghwa Hyung is included then, it might be really serious.” Claimed San.

Hongjoong sat on the empty chair, just next to Yunho and Yeosang. “Do you have a problem with Y/N?” He finally asked, glancing at all of them. A big silence settled in the room. Hongjoong understood that he was right about this whole situation. “Should I take this silence as a ‘yes’?” He ran his hands in his hair, completely frustrated. They all stayed quiet. Discreetly staring at each other. Waiting for someone to talk first. “Can someone tell me why?” “Listen... we don’t trust Y/N.” Finally replied Wooyoung. “Why? This is absurd.” He started. “She’s amazing.” “Come on, open your eyes.” Added Yeosang. “She’s clearly with you because we are getting some recognition.” “Are you serious?” Grunted Hongjoong. “She doesn’t care about our fame or whatever.” “Love makes you blind.” Quoted San. Hongjoong were about to take your defense again, but he spotted you at the door frame. “Y/N-” You saw the worried look on your boyfriend’s face. “It’s okay.” You started. “I’m going back home.” “Wait Y/N,” Hongjoong stood up. “No, stay here. It’s better if we stop here.” You declared, leaving and not letting your boyfriend to talk. Hongjoong stayed in the middle of the room, not processing what just happened. “Hyung-” Not wanting to hear anything else, he left the kitchen to go to his room. He didn't want to see anyone else at the moment. Except you.

SEONGHWA

“Do you want to come with us for a movie night?” Asked your boyfriend. “No, it’s pretty late, I should head home.” You declined politely. Seonghwa raised his brow. He was curious. You were always declining his offer when the boys were there. When he asked you why, you always said that you needed to rest or you were not really in the mood. It was weird for him since you were always offering to do something with him. “Do you want me to bring you home?” He offered. “No, you have something to do.” You stared at the boys shyly. “I can join them back. It’s pretty late I want you to be safe.” He added. “I’m a big girl. I’ll just take a taxi and head home don’t worry.” You tried to reassure him. Seonghwa really needed to ask what was going on and why you never wanted to hang out with the whole group. “I’ll just wait for the taxi with her.” He said to his friends. “Just give me 5 minutes.” “Seonghwa... don’t let them wait. I’m okay.” You tried to push him back. “Why are you always declining when I ask you to go around with the boys?” “I’m just tired.” You lied. “Don’t lie to me Y/N.” He said seriously. “It’s nothing Seonghwa. Just join them.” You insisted. “Y/N, tell me what’s going on.” He grabbed your arm. “They don’t like me!” You yelled a bit too loud. The boys probably heard you, but at this point, you couldn't care less. “This is nonsense Y/N, they lo-” “No they don’t.” You repeated. “I don’t know what I did wrong but it’s obvious!” Seonghwa turned around to look at the group. “Guys, I’m right huh? You like her?” They all stayed quiet. Some of them had this blank expression on their face. “See,” you whispered. “Let me go home now,” escaping from his grip. Seonghwa ignored what to do. Should he follow you? Or follow his team? When he was still questioning his fate, he saw you hopping on the first taxi you saw. “Y/N...” Why do they hate her? He tried to think about any arguments you had with one of them, but nothing came to his mind. But he wanted his best friends and girlfriend by his side. He can't choose one of them.

YUNHO

“I don’t like her! She’s too kind, too nice with us. I know what she is trying to do.” Said Mingi, laying on the couch. “Don’t you think we are a bit rude with her? We don’t know her.” Doubted Wooyoung, playing on his phone. “She’s clearly dating him because of his money.” Concluded Mingi. Wooyoung was about to confirm when Yunho entered the living-room, a big smile on his face. “Hey guys, what were you talking about?” He asked. “Nothing special.” Replied Wooyoung, not wanting to confront his friend. “Really? Because it seemed pretty steamed.” “Yes, really.” “Well okay.” He gave up. “By the way, I need your help guys.” They both sat up, waiting for their friend’s request. “It’s Y/N’s birthday soon and I want to buy her something but I-“ “Sorry I can’t help you with that.” Said Mingi straight before even hearing the end of the sentence. “Why? I was looking for your help since you are the one who always gives the best mother’s gift and stuff like that.” “I don’t know Y/N enough to think about something she would like.” He replied, turning the volume of the TV up. “Okay...” he sighed. “And you Wooyoung? Can you help me?” “I-” he started but Mingi gave him a soft kick on the waist, to prevent him from accepting to help Yunho. “I don’t think it’s a good idea.” He said. “I don’t know her either. It might be awkward.” “Guys... I really need your help. It’s her first birthday since we met, and I want it to be more than perfect.” He explained. “Listen Hyung,” started Mingi, focusing back on his friend. “We don’t think Y/N is interested in you.” “Oh gosh... he really said it like that.” Facepalmed the other member. “She clearly wants money, or I don’t know what, but I don’t trust her. And any of us don’t.” He declared. “You don’t like Y/N?” Repeated Yunho, hardly processing the situation. “But you were always so nice to her.” “We are being polite with her. But we don’t like her.” Finally added Wooyoung. “I can’t believe it...” “Please don’t be mad. We wish you all the best. But Y/N is clearly not the best.” “Shut up.” They both stared at their Hyung, surprised. It was definitely not his type to be so rude. “You don’t know Y/N or even our relationship. She clearly is one of the best things that ever happened to me after my debut.” He started, visibly mad. “Hyung-” “I don’t want to talk with you right now. I need fresh air.” He claimed before leaving the dorm. “I think he’s mad.” Stated Mingi. “No really?”

YEOSANG

You prepared everything for their first win celebration. Finally all these years of hard work paid off. They got their first win today and you were absolutely happy to organize a mini party for this. With the manager’s agreement, you went to the dorm before them, when they had the last interview for the day. You simply prepared snacks, such as chips, mini burgers and things like this. To express how proud you were, you even bought the same cake they had after their first performance. Everything was perfect. But sadly, you hadn’t the reaction you expected. Only Yeosang and barely Jongho were happy about this. You always knew that the boys didn’t really like you. You always did your best to be nice and polite but it’s as if nothing worked. Yeosang never noticed it. You couldn’t blame him, though. But thanks to the group’s reaction to your little surprise, he noticed that something was wrong. When the boys were gathered around the table, he glanced at you. You were quietly hearing their conversation but not saying anything the whole time. “Are you okay?” Whispered Yeosang. You nodded and smiled shyly. He bit his lips. He couldn’t stay in this situation. “Guys,” he said, trying to get their attention. You looked at him, waiting to know what he wanted to say. “Do you have a problem with Y/N?” “Yeosang-” you whispered, trying to stop him. “It’s okay Y/N. I just noticed that they were barely talking to you or trying to know you.” “They are busy.” You claimed. “Saying thank you for organizing a little party for us doesn't need more than 3 seconds.” He stated. “So?” None of them answered. Silence was like an answer for you anyway. “I understand that we can’t like everyone, but I would be glad if you could give Y/N a chance. She’s really important to me, and I would appreciate it if you could do some effort to know her.” “They know me a little bit.” You tried to reduce the awkwardness. “This is not enough for me.” He claimed, standing up. Yeosang left the room. You were there alone, around all of them. Like a gazelle in a lion cage. “I’m sorry about that.” You apologized, leaving too. You couldn’t force them to like you. But you couldn’t hide that you were truly sad about it.

SAN

“Oh, you are alone here?” Asked Wooyoung to his friend. “Yes, Y/N is still sleeping.” He let him know. “Do you want cereals?” He pointed at the pack in front him. “No I’m dieting.” “You are beautiful enough. You don’t need to go on a diet again.” He said, trying to dissuade his friend. “Are you happy with Y/N?” Suddenly asked Wooyoung. San stared at his friend surprised. He wasn’t expecting to hear this question from him. “Are you trying to change the subject? Because I won’t give up.” “No.” He sat in front of him, visibly worried. “I’m serious San.” San put down the cup he was holding. “Why do you think I’m not happy enough with Y/N?” Wooyoung hesitated. He didn’t want to be rude with his closest friend and member, but he couldn’t keep this for himself. “I don’t like her.” He whispered, not wanting you to hear it. “What? Why?” Asked San. The member ran his hands through his scalp. “Honestly no one likes her.” “I can’t believe this...” replied San. “Did she do or say something bad?” “No. It’s just that we don't like her attitude with you. She’s so... clingy and stuff like that.” “I’m barely sure we never showed any love affection in front of you guys. She hates that.” San crosses his arms on his chest. Wooyoung was visibly lying, and he didn’t like this at all. “Just tell me the truth, so we can solve this.” “I don’t think it’s solvable. We don’t like her. We don’t like her being here all the time and hearing her asking if everything is okay! She seems so fake San!” San scoffed, completely astonished by this confession. You were doing your best to be nice with them, and he was glad you made this effort. “She clearly just dates you because you are famous and-“ “I don’t.” You cut him straight, standing in the door frame. “Babe,” whispered San, worries that you heard the whole conversation. “I just love him. I don’t care if he’s an idol. His career isn’t defining my love for him.” You added. “This is not what he wanted to say Y/N.” “This is exactly what he wanted to say and to be honest he couldn’t be more clear than that.” San stood up, trying to talk to you correctly, face to face. But you stopped him with your hand. “I think it’s better if we break up.” “W-Wait Y/N,” stuttered San. “They will learn to know you. I promise.” You smiled sadly at him. “We can’t force them to do that. And honestly I’m done trying to be nice for nothing.” Without adding anything else, you went back to the room to grab your stuff and in a matter of time you were ready to exit the dorm. “Y-“ Before he could stop you again, the door slammed loudly. Wooyoung was so sorry for his friend, he messed up and was totally aware of it.

MINGI

You were like invisible to them. They were only greeting you. You never knew what you did and honestly you gave up. Everyone was saying all nice and kind they were but you couldn’t see this side of them. For sure, Mingi knew that this situation was hard for you. He didn’t invite you to the dorm anymore and he was doing his best for you to not see the boys. He always said that he was okay and that they will trust you soon but you knew he was pissed and sad about this situation. It was important for him to get along with the members. But it wasn’t the case at all. Today, you waited for Mingi to finish his daily dance practice. Not wanting to meet the boys, you waited in the hall as usual. “Y/N!” You stood up and turned around to greet your boyfriend. You were sure it was him because his deep voice is engraved in your mind. Just when you wanted to wave back at him, you saw all the others boys behind him. You immediately felt bad. “Hi,” you greeted them quietly. They just bowed politely to you and waited for Mingi to say something. “Do you want to come with us at the restaurant? We are starving right now.” He rubbed his belly cutely. “No I’m fine! I’ll head back home.” You refused politely. “Told you.” Grunted Seonghwa behind him. “Oh come on? What’s your problem with Y/N guys? And babe what’s your problem with them?” Asked Mingi angrily, putting down his bag. You stayed silent, waiting for one of them to talk since they were the only ones being rude. “Can someone talk?” “She’s not the one for you.” Finally declared Yunho. You felt absolutely hurt about this. Why were they thinking so bad about you? “And why?” Asked Mingi almost angrily. “We are 7 here to think the same way, you just can’t see it because love makes you blind.” Added Jongho. “Well-“ “I think I should leave.” You stated. “No we will solve-“ “I don’t want to.” You declared. Mingi stared at you, not understanding why you gave up suddenly. “Please don’t call me again.” You said coldly. “Hold up... are you-“ “Yes.” You said before he could finish the end of his sentence. He tried to catch your arm, preventing you from leaving but in vain. You were walking so fast, trying to not go back to him and tell him how sorry you are. But you couldn’t handle this situation anymore. It was not good for your health or either for your relationship.

WOOYOUNG

You were getting along so well with Wooyoung’s parents and his little brother. You spent a whole week with them in Jeju Island, and it went really well. But you couldn’t say the same thing with Ateez members. They knew you for almost 6 months now and impossible for you to be comfortable enough with them. Every time you were trying to talk with one of them. They would pretext to be busy or to have something to do. At first, you really thought that being an idol was overwhelming, but when San told you that he was busy but that you spotted him, laying on his bed, totally relaxed, you understand that they were not sincere with you. Because of this, you decided to take your distance and to enjoy only the moment with your boyfriend. He didn’t notice anything, for him you were totally fine with his friends. You secretly hoped that he would never notice, so he wouldn’t need to choose between you or his members. Until today. When you arrived at the dorm, Wooyoung was having a big argument with Yeosang and Hongjoong. You simply stayed at the corner of the room. None of them noticed your presence yet. “I told you I would be late! I even texted you for that!” Claimed Wooyoung. “You told me 5 minutes, not 2 hours.” Replied the leader. “You should have told us the truth. We wouldn’t be in this situation.” “I don’t know the traffic. They told me we were there in 5 minutes, so I texted you.” “And the next hours? You should have texted us!” “My phone died! And the driver wasn’t informed about one of your phone numbers.” “Sure...” muttered Hongjoong. “Anyway since you are dating Y/N you are not yourself anymore.” You raised a brow. You weren’t in the van with him. And you were not the traffic. “I don’t get why you are talking about her.” He replied coldly. “Since you are dating her, you are making mistake by mistake.” Stated Yeosang. “You can’t even see that we don’t like her. She’s grabbing all of your attention and-“ “Oh finally, I understand why you don’t like me.” You said, standing up against the wall. “Shit...” cursed your boyfriend after you heard the whole argument. “Next time I would prefer if you could say it to me directly.” You added a bit angrily. “You have nothing to do with-“ “Anyway, I need to go.” You said before leaving. Wooyoung sighed at this situation. He was so focused on you who just left that he didn’t see that his team members felt a little bit sad about this situation.

JONGHO

At first you didn't believe Jongho when he said that he was interested in you. He was a whole famous idol now, and you were just a normal and random human being. When he was telling you his day, you couldn’t relate to anything at all. You never went on stage or made a fan cry just because of your existence. It was pretty hard to talk with him at first but now you were so used to it. Everything seemed perfect now, but the only thing you couldn’t handle very well was his teammates. You knew that they weren’t really okay with the idea of you dating the maknae. They thought it had been too early to date and more because he was the “baby” of the group. But Jongho was so motivated to be with you that he wrote a whole letter saying that he won’t forget his career. He added that he needed you in his life because he felt like you would give him the last piece of happiness that he needs. Of course, they couldn’t say no to this. But instead of telling him the truth, they were acting totally cold and distant with you. You were doing your best to interact with them, but they were only replying by a single word to stop the conversation. One day you asked Yeosang about this whole situation, but it didn’t lead well. He pretexted that everyone was fine, but obviously you could see well that he was lying. So you decided to talk directly with Jongho. “Jongho,” you squeezed him. “Hum?” He replied, still sleepy. “Do you know why the boys don’t like me?” You whispered. “What are you talking about? They like you...” “They don’t.” You insisted. “I think you noticed it too. I mean we never talk or laugh together.” Jongho grunted and got up off the bed. “Where are you going?” You asked. “I’ll erase this stupid idea of your mind." You stared at your boyfriend leaving the room. You waited for him for almost 30 minutes before he came back a bit paler than earlier. “So? I couldn’t hear the conversation,” you pouted. He scratched his head embarrassedly, “seems like that you were right...” You rolled your eyes and fell back on the mattress. “We are doomed...”

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