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dreamofjoys · 7 months

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DAY 3 KINKTOBER 2023

7 min in heaven? More like 7 days inside you!

Main Masterlist + Rules / Next Day of kinktober (4)

A/N: Please read the rules on my kinktober 2023 main masterlist before proceeding. Rule breakers will be blocked.

Characters involved (separated): Malleus draconia(TWST), Wriothlesly(Genshin), Ayato(Genshin), Nanook(HSR), Luo Cha(HSR)

Sypnosis: After getting officially married, you and your husband decided to finally go to your long awaited 7 days honeymoon in a resort at private island specially reserved by your husband! Those 7 days were meant to be fun and relaxing, but why are you so tired by the end of it?

C/W: Public pool seggs, fem reader, dubcon, reader wearing bikini, choking(malleus), no prep, teasing, nearly get caught (ayato), ya'll got caught in nanook's part, npc death (nanook), luocha calls you a liar

BY OPENING THE TAB BELOW, YOU CONSENT TO READ DC/SMUT WRITING + HAVE READ THE RULES

Day 3 Scenario

"Mhmmm, it's nice seeing you wear something like this once in awhile." Your husband compliments, eyeing your body up and down like a hungry beast. You are currently wearing a set of matching black laced bikini that hugs your body in the perfect shape while your husband is only wearing a simple black trunks. “Of course! I specially bought this set while I was out shopping, it looks pretty nice right?” You gave your husband a quick twirl of your outfit, smiling sheepishly at his flustered reaction of your boobs and ass bouncing. “Let’s not start something that we can’t stop, wife.” Your husband mumbles under his breath, but you paid no attention to him as you dived straight into the pool, beckoning him to join you. He follows you suit after, jumping into the pool with a loud whoosh as the water splashes onto you. You laughed, playfully splashing water back at him while avoiding the water that was being splashed towards you. "Oh no, a monster is trying to catch me!" You shouted at your husband, faking a tear and pretending to be scared as you "desperately swim away" from him, who was the supposedly monster. "Tsk, naughty girl." With one powerful kick of his legs, your husband instantly plunges himself forward, swiftly catching up to you. "Got my prey now." He mocks at you in a teasing manner, hugging you from the back to "catch" you. "H-hey! Let me go!" You laughed, squirming in his hold that seemingly tightens whenever your ass accidentally rubs onto his cock. "Wife," his hot breath fans over your ear, a hand sliding down to cup on your sex while the other holds onto your waist tightly. "I am going to claim my prize now."

𝗠𝗔𝗟𝗟𝗘𝗨𝗦 𝗗𝗥𝗔𝗖𝗢𝗡𝗜𝗔

You should have known that dragons are hunters that likes to devour their prey in an instant. Malleus is definitely not an exception. Despite being in a public pool, he has no problem tearing off your underwear, stuffing it into your mouth while his hand snakes forward to grab on your throat, forcing you to stand upright.

Malleus pulls his trunks down slightly, enough to just free his member from restraints before slamming it into your pussy. Why bother prepping you when you are so used to this?

"Mffmmm hnnng-" You tried to tell your husband that this is a public area and that really, anyone could catch you right now! But all you can do is to moan pathetically on your underwear while your husband fucks you upright in the pool. His free hand fondles on your breast, occasionally pinching onto your nipples and laughing when he feels you clench around him.

"My mate is so pretty~"

𝗪𝗥𝗜𝗢𝗧𝗛𝗟𝗘𝗦𝗟𝗬

"Th-thats very unprofessional of you! Wrio-" You gasped again when the tip of his cock kisses onto your cervix, making you squeeze tightly around him as you came in an instant.

"Dear, I think the pool water is going to taste like you now." Wriothlesly snickers, pulling his cock out with the tip just touching onto your labia before slamming himself back in, the water around you ripples rapidly at his powerful thrust. "Fuck!"

"Language, dear. What if people catch us?"

"B-but you are the one who started this! Hnng-" You were sure that nothing can convince your husband to stop fucking you in the pool when you caught sight of his wild lusted eyes staring back at you while fucking you into oblivion. Of course, Wriothlesly would definitely find joy in fucking you in the pool in your bikini outfit and watching you getting anxious at the thought of getting caught and drowning - not like he would let it happen to you.

𝗞𝗔𝗠𝗜𝗦𝗔𝗧𝗢 𝗔𝗬𝗔𝗧𝗢

"W-why are we do-doing this again?Ya-yato." Your face was flushed in a deep red as Ayato's cock slides in and out of you in an agonizingly slow pace. Your back was leaning on the edge of the pool, legs wrapping around Ayato's waist for support as he fucks you slowly.

"You just look delicious in this outfit, wife." Ayato pants, before diving in to give you a passionate kiss on the lips. You moaned into his mouth when his cock abruptly touches onto your sweet spot. You tighten your legs around him, hoping to pull him close so that his cock can once again give you the touch of heaven that you need.

In the corner of your eye, you saw a couple of black figure walking past. You instinctively tried pulling away but the iron grip on your ass says otherwise.

"Don't pay attention to them, sweetie. I am the main focus here."

𝗡𝗔𝗡𝗢𝗢𝗞

The Aeon of Destruction pays no attention to your whines. He strips off your bikini and his trunks in an instant, letting the articles float on the pool as he maneuvers you into missionary position. Nanook literally folds you half, letting your back rest on the edge of the pool while fucking you relentlessly.

You want to yell at his sudden actions, but all that fell out of your lips was high pitched moans and the screams of his name. Nanook knows how to make the both of you feel good. He knows that one angle and position to aim for that gets your toes curling and eyes rolling to the back. The exact depth he should fuck himself in just to have your pussy walls grip onto his cock like a personal cock sleeve before coming all over him.

"Hey! You can't do this in public!" Somebody tried to stop the both of you, but one look from Nanook is all it takes for that person to burst into flames, leaving nothing behind but ashes.

Your mind was too fucked to process that you have just been caught and Nanook had just killed someone for stopping his fucking session.

𝗟𝗨𝗢 𝗖𝗛𝗔

"Let's do it discreetly, shall we?"

"H-how about we don't do this at all?" You shyly glanced at Luocha who only laughs at your suggestion.

"There's a first time for everything, wife."

"Lies! We did this yesterday for breakfast too!" You pout, wondering why your husband has been having such high hormones.

Many would think that Luocha was just purely back hugging you like a clingy golden retriever. Little do they know, he has your panties pulled to the side, his cock already found it's way to your insides. "But you like it when I do this, right?" With one hip thrust from your husband, you let out a sweet moan that only fuels the beast inside him to do it again.

"I like it be-better when we do it on bed." Luocha only smirks at your statement, hands reaching down to toy your clit, rubbing it in circular motions.

"Why are you lying? You just squeezed on my cock as if my actions are turning you on."

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sh1-n0bu · 1 year

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🕴anon it is!

sub!cyno × gn!reader - getting his ass ready for your cock/strap<3

He whimpered, throwing his head back, curling his toes, and arching his back. What a rare sight for such a strong character to break so easily from nothing more than your tounge.

"Are you enjoying this, love?" You said, your tounge slightly removed from his hole. He whined at the sudden loss and reached for you, to try and get you back inside of him.

You merely laughed and said, "I'll take that as a yes." You then leant back in between his legs, draping them over your shoulders to get deeper inside of him. His legs were already shaking, and all you were doing was leaving marks on them. Cute little moans and whimpers continued as his red eyes started to roll up, and he covered his mouth out of embarrassment. He was the General Mahamatra, the leader of the Matra for archon's sake! If anyone were to see even just his beautiful white hair, he'd probably either lose that title or be known as a whore all across Sumeru! How unbefitting. That's probably why he dragged you to your own teapot before begging asking you to help him and his needs. Sometimes he just needs a distraction from his work. So a distraction he gets.

You pulled him closer, shoving your tounge farther into him. You looked up at him to see loads of precum dripping down his member, which was as hard as a rock. You could barely see his eyes, but you knew he'd have those beautiful heart pupils, and youd get a better view when you had your [cock/strap] inside him, too.

"How's my baby doing?" You tried to say without removing your tounge from him, but it was barely even understandable. Either way, even if it was, he wouldnt hear you due to the already fucked out state he was in. You found it adorable.

You used one of the arms that you were previously using to hold up one of his legs to reach out and softly grab his dick. He immediately jolted at the action and let out a muffled moan. You used your other hand to grab his hand(s) down from his mouth.

"Dont silence yourself, I love the beautiful noises you make."

"h...gmg... traveler pl-Ease... m-more..." he groaned, his legs pulling you in closer.

"Please more what?" You teased.

"m-more-- ANGH!" He cut himself off with a moan from you suddenly squeezed his member and shoved your tounge deep inside him unexpectedly.

"ANNGH! MMPH, TR-AANG! PLEA-- HNGHH!" He nearly screamed, his eyes widening and back arching even more as his legs pulled you even closer again.

"P-PLEASE! I'M GOING TO-- HNNNG!!" He moaned out again, and you decided to be nice. You started jerking him off faster and repeatedly thrusting your tounge in and out of his ass. He couldn't hold it anymore, and he released all over himself, some even landing on you. He was twitching with his eyes rolled so far back, he could almost see the back of his skull if he wanted too. You slid your tounge out and removed your hand from him. You moved them back onto his legs, which you still held on your shoulders, and pulled him down from the edge of the beg into your lap carefully. His face heated up when he slowly remembered that was only a warm-up. There was still a long way to go.

"Are you ready baby? Do you think you can take me now?"

"hnggmf..."

You mumbled while kissing the side of his lips, "Let's try."

END.

sub!cyno🤭

—🕴anon

that moment when ur nonnies write way better than you😔 but its oki its fucking beautiful🕴anon

#nobu.nobu.chat #🕴anon #sub!genshin impact #sub!genshin #sub genshin impact #sub genshin #sub cyno #cyno smut #genshin smut

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t4tschmidt · 6 months

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mike / m!reader plsssss

i nned 2 b called pretty boy by mike pls 😭😭

on it boss! o7 i had a lot of fun w this one i usually try and keep the reader gender neutral for inclusivity but this was new and fun to write. I’m very much weak for sensitive men and consent check ins so i slipped both of those things in there <3 Mike was definitely walkin a lil funny after this one

[requests open]

cws; sub!mike, soft dom!reader, m!reader, petnames, light bondage, edging, frottage, dick worship, messy, praise

Mike had no idea how he’d ended up in this position. He wanted to make this special and about you, the two of you had been unable to have sex anytime recently because of schedule conflicts and he knew that you’d been very pent up; that pretty little cock of yours deserved some attention.

He’d tried to get you on your back and to relax, but you had other plans.

Which is why Mike was currently sat in a comfy cushioned chair next to the bed, his hands tied behind his back and his member at the mercy of your hands.

The worst part of the position for him was the fact that your dick was on full display as you sat on the edge of the bed right next to him. All he wanted to do was break free of his restraints and worship it, get you painfully hard and throbbing like he was in your hands.

Speaking of your hands, one was on his thigh and the other was on his cock. It was a loose fist, a feather-light touch that barely stroked him but was enough to get him whining and begging you to give him more.

Your fingertips more then anything slowly travelled up his length, tickling every vein and driving him crazy. With his hands behind his back he couldn’t thrust his hips in fear of loosing your fingers so he was forced to sit still and take what agonizingly slow friction you provided him.

The head was smeared in drippy precum and to say his cock was weeping was an understatement.

It was throbbing, harder and stiffer then he’d ever felt with his cockhead wet and flushed bright red from how badly it wanted to cum. It had been a full half an hour, painfully filled with your fist loosely and slowly dragging up, pumping faster and faster until cock twitched harder and he was moaning louder and louder and then you’d abruptly stop; the orgasm he’d been chasing gone.

He babbled incoherently, begging and doing his best to rut up into your hand.

“B-Baby, please, f-fuck….I need to….hnnng….I need to cum.”

His hair was stuck to his forehead with sweat, his entire face flushed red and his eyes hazily focused on you. “Do you now?”

You gave his dick a light squeeze, making him twitch. “How bad?”

He was on the brink of tears, his words coming out with a stutter every time you slowly dragged a single finger up and down.

“Mmmf…I-f-fuck, baby, my pretty boy, please, I n-need your hands, your mouth, your b-body please.”

You thought about it for a moment, rubbing his thighs. “You have been doing so well for me, how about a little reward?”

All he could make were desperate little noises of affirmation, groaning and nodding. You stood up from your place on the edge of the bed and scooted into his lap, your thighs on either side of his.

Your cocks touched which made him jump, he was staring down at your member with desperation and need.

You got comfortable, using his hips as a grabbing point to pull yourself as close as possible to his bare chest. You kept one hand gripping his waist, and one came up between the two of you to align your dicks and you grasped your fist around both of them, barely being able to wrap it around both.

You gave a little experimental thrust, your cock sliding wetly against his lubricated with his own leaked slick. You gave a couple more before Mike mumbled “yellow” your safeword to slow down and check in.

You stopped, cupping his face and looking up at him. “Whats up, love? Are the ropes too tight?”

He looked sheepish, avoiding your eye contact. “I think you should go get a towel, I, um, get things messy sometimes.”

Mike was a heavy cummer and had always been embarrassed about it, jumping to offer to clean up the mess he’d made on you or the bed. You found it incredibly attractive, loving to see just how much you could make his cock spurt from just your mouth or hands.

You caught his eyes, wiping some of his hair away from his forehead. “Good thing for you baby, I love messy.”

With that you squeezed your hand around both your members and started thrusting fast, bouncing in his lap and jerking his dick off with yours. The reaction was sharp and immediate, a loud gasp being ripped from his mouth at the fast pace.

Pleasure pooled in your own gut, thinking of getting to thrust this fast into his needy hole. He began thrusting up with you, rocking the chair you guys were in.

It was wet and slippery and quick, but it finally drove him over the edge.

He threw his head back, gasping with his mouth wide open. His cock twitched violently against yours, before thick white ropes of his seed erupted and shot up into the air. It kept coming, multiple gushes of hot sticky thick cum coating you and him and both your dicks until your lap was painted white.

You didn’t cum, but that was alright. This was mikes reward, and you reveled in the way he closer his eyes and let out a long sigh, all of his own pent up energy finally having seeped out.

You immediately reached behind him and quickly loosened the ropes so his hands were free, coming up and kissing the red marks were they were.

With his hands free he embraced you, pulling you into a tender kiss and finally getting to touch you.

“Oh you did so well baby, lasted so long, I’m so proud of you,” You mumbled to him, your laps a slippery sticky mess. “You ready for a shower?”

He smiled, his eyes slowly focusing back in from the haze of pleasure he was previously in. He looked down at your lap, his cock was softening but you’re was still fully erect and untouched except for the little bit of groping the two of you did earlier.

Mikes large hands travelled down your back, grabbing your ass and pulling you so that your own hard length was flushed against his stomach and your hole was spread. “Actually, how about we do something about that?”

You kissed him once more, it was going to be a long night.

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weirdly-specific-but-ok · 2 months

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REWATCHING GO S1, LIVE PLAY-BY-PLAY OF DOOMSDAY WAHOO

HELLO MAGGOTS REWATCHING SEASON 1 BECAUSE THE FIRST TIME WAS A KIDNAPPING CHAOTIC MESS. EPISODE ONE HERE GOES. I DON'T REMEMBER A LOT OF DETAILS BUT YES.

Opening scene and Earth's got vibe-checked by God and I've been gaslit about the dinosaurs

GARDEN OF EDEEEEEN wow his first appearance and Aziraphale's already so prissy and flustered might fuck around and fall in love with him idk

I finally understand who these mf's are hi Hastur and Ligur you're not zombies after all

FOR FUCK'S SAKE SECOND SCENE CROWLEY'S BEEN IN AND SHE WALKED IN, SERVED HIPS HAIR AND CUNT, AND THEN MANAGED TO TALK HER AWAY INTO A PROBLEM

LIKE GENUINELY SHE COMES AND SASHAYS WITH HER HAIR AND SAYS TIMES ARE CHANGING AND HEAD OFFICE LOVES ME AND JUST INSTANTLY HASTUR AND LIGUR USE HER WORDS AGAINST HER

idk sister mary loquacious is kinda doing it for me rn with that satanic nun's habit and losergirl energy

third crowley scene and he's misplaced THE LITERALLY GODDAMNED ANTICHRIST because he made small talk with a bloke outside without checking for details

mmmmhm yes sister mary wink again your bitchless decisions are sexy y'know what i mean

Gabriel feels like his brain was eviscerated and replaced with one of those youtuber's paid course promos at the end of their how to change your life in 45 days: three simple mindset shifts video

so THIS IS WHY EVERYONE KEEPS SAYING PAVLOVIAN IN THIS FANDOM IT'S BECAUSE OF DUCKS of course it's because of ducks

mmmhm yes sure crepes French revolu--Crowley stop eye-fucking Aziraphale you're making everyone at the Ritz horny

Aziraphale don't moan into your food man you can't take these two anywhere

Crowley thanking the driver for slowing down is everything to me

And they're drunk hu-fucking-zzah good thing we'll have 11 year olds saving the world coz these fuckers sure ain't doing shit

OH MY GOD HE WAS TRYING TO SAY BOUILLABAISSE I JUST REALISED. I THOUGHT HE WAS JUST MAKING KISSY FACES AT AZIRAPHALE I'M NOT OK-

What Aziraphale was doing back was definitely kissy faces though that mfer wasn't even trying to say bouillabaisse when Crowley said what sounded suspiciously like baby

kissy kissy from lil miss prissy [i would have made such a great high school bully shame i had no inclinations that way]

SORRY WHAT THE BLOODY FUCK WAS THAT SOBERING UP EXCUSE ME THE FANFICS MADE IT SOUND LIKE IT WAS A CLICK AND THEY'RE SUDDENLY NORMAL WHY IS THE ALCOHOL REFILLING

oop nun down nun down

i want ya see a wile ya thwart amirite on a t-shirt

"actually i encourage humans to-" just say you're a lazy bitch azi we love you

love crowley fake-manipulating azi into helping like azi wants to be manipulated y'know so it's not technically his fault he was wiled over or whatever and they're both just such ENABLERS

not azi going SOFT at being godfathers with crowley

NOT BROTHER FRANCIS PLEASE NO FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS SACRED AZI WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS PLEASE

WARLOCKKKKK I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

HNNNG MICHAEL SHEEN HAD TOO MUCH FUN WITH THIS

why is nanny ashtoreth so seductive with that of course dear is it just crowley's inherent disastergirl sex appeal

HALF PONYTAIL CROWLEY I AM A FUCKING SLUT FOR HALF PONYTAIL

GASLIGHTING HEAVEN AND HELL THAT'S MY BABYGIRLS

erIC THE DISPOSABLE DEMON I DIDN'T KNOW THEY COME IN S1 well not come i hope unless being eaten by a hellho--nope

ANGEL CROWLEY SAID ANGEL ANGEL ANGEL

CROWLEY TRYING TO BE SUBTLE ABOUT KILLING BEFORE GETTING ANNOYED

waiter crOWLEY OUTFIT I CANNOT BE NORMAL AFTER THE WEDDING DRESS DESIGNING ABOUT THIS COSTUME

FOOLS WRONG BOY YOU FOOLS IM DEAD

DOG IS UNIRONICALLY SO CUTE EVEN BEFORE IT GOES SMOL

gonna give my roxie a kissy brb she's my angel and all this dog talk makes me miss her (she's a few feet away under the bed)

i asked her for a kissy and she crawled out and gave me a kiss i love her

DOGGGGG ADAMMM

...roxie's crying to be taken downstairs it's nearly 2 am this is on me for waking her up i crowley'd myself fml

EYYYYY WELCOME TO THE END TIMES don't mind me I'll have to take roxie down yes I know maggots I'm crowley-coded I KNOW THAT I'M A BLOODY DISASTER BYEEEEEEEE

#good omens mascot #good omens #weirdly specific but ok #asmi #maggots #good omens fandom #good omens season 1 #in the beginning #WAHOO #OK GTG TAKE MY DOG DOWNSTAIRS AT 1:45 IN THE MORNING #THE CROWLEY LIFE #IT'S HARD WORK BEING THE RESIDENT DISASTER #BUT SOMEONE'S GOTTA DO IT

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kaeddehara · 10 months

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shower with gepard <3 — nsfw

hnnng gepard is so fucking soft to any request you have of him. you want him to go out and get you a dessert you’ve been craving all day, late at night? of course he’ll go out just for you!

truly gepard is extremely unaware of his oblivious nature when it comes to certain implications you have. whether it be your tone of voice or even your touches, all he can recognize is that whatever you’re doing to him, his body and mind can’t resist. that’s why when you try to suggest accompanying him in the shower once he returns home from his late-night patrol, he’s almost confused at the request. sure he needs to clean off before he can get in bed with you, but what’s the point in you joining him? you find it both amusing and adorable to see the look of confusion written all over his sweet face. gently explaining that he’ll like it and to just go along with it—promising to help him out with washing his hair and body. gepard practically flushes up at the thought of your pretty fingers running through his scalp or over his body. he’s so embarrassed that he’d let himself just about succumb to those rather dirty thoughts, but shakes it off as you both enter the washroom. as your begin to strip, gepard lets his eyes focus on himself, maybe stealing a glance every so often before he hears a soft laugh come from you.

"you can look at me all you want, you know? don’t be shy."

god it was always your tone that did it for him. he nodded while still somewhat struggling to take off his layers of armor, and you came to the rescue. helping him set down and remove the metal plates. soon enough, you stripped him down to his undergarments and allowed him to finish up while focusing on getting the water hot for the shower. once it was finally to your liking, you stepped in urging gepard to join you and making sure he was letting the soothing water hit him. watching as he pushed back his now-wet hair and sighed in relief. just standing next to him and observing made you suddenly realize just how big gepard was—it was a realization you had often just from being next to him, but now more than ever.

"feels good, yeah? not too hot?"

he shook his head and looked into your loving eyes. you began the regular routine of washing your hair and gepard as well, making sure to focus on scrubbing his scalp. watching his pretty eyes scrunch together at the rather pleasurable feeling and smile in contentment.

then got to the part where you focused on his body. his strong, built arms and chest had to be one of your favorite assets, and gepard had learned this pretty quickly while just how much you’d admire and touch over them. he watched as you spent so much time rubbing the soapy washcloth all over his upper body and couldn’t help but want to return the favor. putting his hand over the one you were using to clean him, he took the cloth from you, saying, "i’ll take it from here." that was all you needed to hear from him to obey his will. feeling his large hand run all over your body, especially focusing on your stomach and breasts. hearing some soft whines from your lips as he focused on different areas of your body with care. you moved closer to him, feeling your body start to ache for more of gepard.

"something wrong, dear? i didn’t mean to-"

he was quickly cut off by your lips sealing against his own, his large hands grabbed your waist as he backed up against one of the walls of the shower. still feeling that warm water hit both of you as you continued to mark one another. backing away, you apologized with lust-filled eyes, saying that you’d been wanting gepard ever since he left for work this morning and just couldn’t resist getting close to him once he returned home. your words cut deep into him, as he practically felt weak in his knees at your confession, knowing you deserved his attention. all of it.

"just relax for me okay?"

"sweetheart i’m—hah—"

his head tipped back at the sudden warmth of your mouth, engulfing his thick tip in just one go. he looked back down at you soon after, brushing the wet strands out of your pretty face so they wouldn’t get in the way and also so he could admire what was his. tangling his hand into your hair as to urge you to continue on with this treat.

"you’re so good—so good f’me."

gepard sang our praise after praise, his voice high pitched and trailing off from his usual demanding and command giving voice. he just couldn’t help but be soft for you—you put him in a bind. it didn’t take much from your sweet mouth licking and sucking over each vein from gepard to finally reach his limit. making you swallow all his sticky cum while you licked him clean. he huffed out a bit, utterly exhausted from that day's work and this treat you've given him so generously.

#kaeddehara #gepard smut #hsr smut #honkai star rail smut #txt smut #smut #gepard x reader #gepard my beloved #gepard thirst #gepard honkai #rumi writing ^•ﻌ•^ฅ #🗡️

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birthfan · 1 year

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You're at work when you go into labor, you try to keep yourself from pushing but you feel the burning of the head slowly spreading you open, you double over and everyone sees up your skirt, your white panties now see-through thanks to the birthing fluids and they all get to see your baby's head just starting to crown.

I shouldn't have gone to work that day, I was on maternity leave and was one week overdue when my manager called asking me to serve tables just for today as they were understaffed, and being the people pleaser that I am I said yes.

So there I was feeling my belly contract as I walked from table to table "hnnng fuck" I grunted, the pain had been getting worse, as well as the urge to push, but I couldn't give in, not in front of everyone.

"hey Dave could you get this tray to table 9, I have to go to the toilet" I said to my colleague as I clutched my belly "sure thing Sarah" I nodded to his response and quickly ran to the bathroom to feel my dilation.

As I closed the stall door behind me I felt a sudden feeling of wetness on my lips and inner thighs as fluids gushed of me "oh fuck" I exclaimed as I realized my waters had broke, the pressure was getting worse as I felt my baby's head pressing on my cervix.

Luckily it didn't soak my uniform's skirt but my panties were drenched, and I couldn't remove them unless I wanted to give everyone a show "hnnng why do the skirts have to be so shooort" I grunted as another contraction hit me and I instinctively pushed with it.

As I felt my baby's head slowly slip past my cervix there was a knock on the door "hey Sarah we need you out there more people are coming in, are you done?" It was the manager "huu yeah be out in a sec" I answered.

I exited the bathroom to see that the restaurant was almost completely full "hmm this'll be a long shift, I hope you take it slow" I muttered rubbing my belly before I went back to taking orders.

The evening went on and I felt my baby making her way down my birth canal and I noticed some customers peeking under my skirt at my soaked panties "I hope they're not too noticeable" I thought to myself not realising that my lips were clearly visible through the now see-through underwear.

As I wrote down an order for a family I was suddenly hit by another contraction "mmmmnnngg" I grunted as I pushed, feeling my daughter's head right behind my vulva, their son went "hey mommy she reminds me of when you had Abbie" "shh don't be rude Johnny" she scolded him.

My face reddened at the exchange and at the painful feeling of my lips bulging out "ehm will that be all?" I asked desperately hoping that it would be "actually could I see the dessert menu?" The father asked.

I passed him the paper with all our desserts on it, as he and the rest of his family checked out the desserts I felt the urge to push again "hmmm already?!" I muttered to myself giving a small push causing my lips to open up making me want to scream.

As I bit my tongue to suppress any noises I'd make the kid dropped the fork "miiss could you get it please?" I did my best to smile and nodded, as I knelt forward to pick it up I felt my skirt ride up exposing my now see through panties.

"lady there's something coming out of you down there" the smallest kid went making me feel incredibly ashamed, I decided to quickly squat to cover my spreading lips, it was an awful idea as the quick change to a squatting position made the baby slip downwards spreading my lips even more, this time I couldn't contain my scream.

"huuuuaaaaaaa" I cried out as my labias burned, everyone in the restaurant turning their gaze towards me as I pushed "hnnnnnngggghaaa" I yelled, my baby now almost crowning.

I desperately tried to get up but as soon as I stood I leaned against the booth exposing my panties with the head right behind them to everyone "mmmmmmmnnnnAAAAAAAA" at this point I didn't care I screamed as I pushed feeling my lips stretch to their max.

I whimpered and cried as everyone looked at me "hmmmmgggggghaaa haaa haaa" I pushed again as the contraction were now right after one another, this push caused the head to come out tenting my drenched undergarments.

I breathed and regained energies to prepare to push out my baby as the more sympathetic onlookers approached to help "haaa haaa haaa" I panted as my hand went to move my now useless panties aside.

My uterus contracted harder than ever before forcing me into a squat for my final push "nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggghhhhaaaa" I cried out as my daughter slipped out of me onto the cold marbled floor of the restaurant.

"see mom exactly like you with Abbie" the kid, who's existence I had forgot about said, as his blushing mother got up to help me, needless to say after this event I asked to be moved to another restaurant.

#birth kink #giving birth #fpreg #birth #lovely anon #public birth

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another-lost-mc · 7 months

Note

Hnnng been having Karasu thoughts. What would happen if for some reason Karasu thought MC was cheating but in fact they were planning some sort of surprise for him? Can you imagine his immense guilt when he realized he doubted them for nothing!?! Ugh I love angst-but-not-really scenarios

a/n: keeping this light on the angst because I don't like tormenting our dear crow boy too much. :(

suspicious surprises | karasu x reader

1.1k words | sfw | gn!reader | misunderstandings and resolved angst

cw: they/them pronouns for mc.

Mammon knows Karasu better than anyone else in the Devildom. He knows what Karasu's voice sounds like when he’s frustrated, knows what his eyes look like when they glint dangerously with anger he tries to hide. More often than not these days, Karasu looks happier than Mammon can remember, and they've known each other for a long time. Maybe that’s why he’s confused by the way Karasu looks now, pacing back and forth in Mammon’s room while he pinches the bridge of his nose in frustration.

“What d’ya mean, MC’s been acting weird?” Mammon leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “They seem fine t’me.”

Karasu shook his head. “No, there’s something going on. They were on the phone with someone earlier and hung up quickly when I walked into the room. I asked them about it and they said it was nothing,” Karasu explained, glancing at Mammon, “but you and I both know they’re not a very good liar.”

“Can’t you just, I dunno, look up that stuff at work? Their phone logs and whatever else, y’know, see who they were talkin’ to?” It was an innocent suggestion, but Mammon didn’t expect Karasu to glare at him like the idea was offensive.

“I would never abuse my position to violate their privacy like that.” The frown on Karasu’s face deepened. “I can’t do that. It wouldn’t be right.”

“Okay, okay,” Mammon raised his hands placatingly. “Well, what else has been buggin’ you? Because one phone call ain’t enough reason to make you–” he paused, waving his hand in Karasu’s direction, “–y’know, like this.”

“They’ve been spending a lot of time with Asmodeus–alone,” Karasu added, annoyance creeping into his tone. “I know MC and your family are very close, but the secretive phone calls? Hushed conversations? And their little–their little dates,” he nearly spat the word between gritted teeth.

“Dates?” All of Karasu’s suspicions started to fall into place, and Mammon nearly groaned when he realized what all the mixed signals meant. “Nope, no way,” he said hastily, shaking his head. “Asmo’s a flirt but trust me, he’s not makin’ any moves on MC.” Mammon rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly because he knew exactly what you and his brother were up to.

Karasu looked unconvinced and continued pacing, listing off all the clues that led him to believe something was going on.

“Well, a few nights ago they went to The Fall together–” (to sign a contract to reserve one of the VIP lounges)

“–and yesterday they went out for dinner–” (after they finalized the menu for the dinner Ristorante Six will be catering)

“–and now they’re out shopping.” (so Asmo could take you to pick up the custom gift you ordered with his help)

Karasu dropped onto the couch beside Mammon and ran his fingers through his hair. “What am I supposed to think? They’re spending so much time together all of a sudden. Every time I mention it, MC looks guilty like they’re hiding something from me.” His glasses slid off his nose when he looked down and they clattered on the floor. He ignored them and buried his face in his hands instead. “What could be bad enough that they feel like they can’t tell me?”

Mammon rubbed his back, albeit a little awkwardly; he wasn’t sure the gesture was appreciated. “I can promise ya that whatever yer thinkin’, you’ve got the wrong idea. Did it ever occur to you that maybe MC’s keepin’ secrets from you for a reason?”

The crow demon looked up in confusion. “Is there such a thing as a good secret that MC would keep from me?”

Mammon sighed. One of the smartest demons in the Devildom and he’s so clueless, ain’t he? “Let me ask ya this, then: you got anything special comin’ up?”

Karasu pulled out his D.D.D. and Mammon snorted when he started scrolling through the calendar app to check his schedule for the week. “Only some work-related meetings, nothing out of the ordinary.” He tapped the screen a couple times quickly and squinted at something. “Oh, and MC mentioned something about doing something on Saturday for…for…”

Mammon smirked knowingly. “What’s that about Saturday?”

Karasu set his D.D.D. beside him and slumped back against the couch. “They’re planning something for my birthday, aren’t they?” he asked flatly, even though he already knew the answer. It was so obvious now.

“Of course they are,” Mammon snickered. “The first birthday you’re celebrating together since you two started goin’ out, yeah? MC’s lookin’ to spoil ya, you lucky bird. Asmo offered to help MC plan the whole thing since he has lots of useful connections in town. Don’t tell ‘em I ruined the surprise though, MC will kill me. ”

“You really think MC would go to all this trouble to surprise me?” Karasu asked. Mammon expected him to be relieved, but he just sounded sad. He stared in front of him, eyes unfocused, unblinking. “I was afraid…well, I was worried about a lot of things, I suppose,” he admitted, lowering his eyes while his hands fidgeted nervously in his lap. “But I didn’t know how to tell them that.”

Mammon nudged his shoulder lightly. “You haven’t done this sort of thing in a long time, right? How long’s it been since you were with someone anyway? Five years? Six?”

“Double that at least,” Karasu said, sniffling his nose.

No wonder he was so lost. “See? This relationship stuff is all new for you. It makes you feel vulnerable and out of control, and I know you’re not used to that.” Mammon leaned back with a sigh. “And trust me, my brothers and I know a thing or two about bein’ jealous and possessive and all that. It’s sort of our reputation ‘round here.”

“I didn’t really think MC would–you know, hurt me intentionally,” Karasu explained slowly. “But you’re right. I let my anxieties get the better of me. I’ll learn from this and be better for them.” He looked at Mammon worriedly. “You won’t tell them, will you?”

“It’ll be our little secret,” Mammon said, drawing his fingers across his lips with an exaggerated ziiiip. “But I’m serious, you got lucky with MC. You’re good for each other.” Mammon watched the bashful smile bloom on his friend’s face, his eyes brightening slightly with something hopeful.

“You really think so?” Karasu asked wonderingly.

Mammon nodded. “Wouldn’t have let it get this far between ya if I thought otherwise.”

A quiet giggle bubbled out of Karasu before he bit his lip to stifle the sound. “I think I’m going to enjoy my birthday this year for the first time in a long time,” he admitted softly. The grin on his face was contagious, and all Mammon saw was a hopelessly besotted crow oozing with affection.

Karasu might not realize it, but Mammon’s seen MC with the same expression on their face and he knows who it is they’re thinkin’ of when they do. “Yeah, I think so too.”

read more: karasu masterlist | obey me masterlist

#obey me oc #obey me oc x reader #my oc: karasu #x reader #gn!reader

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madude21 · 11 months

Text

Over time

Suzanne loved being pregnant with her bosses baby. Not only was he a good lover but also a great boss. When she started at a tech company she never imagined she would have it so easy.

At first she was just a regular secatatary, taking calls, scheduling meetings, and all the boring paper work no one wanted to do. After awhile she was sick of it and went to her boss ,Jack, to ask for a more important position.

She never really thought anything of him until she saw how dirty he really was. One day, as she approached his corner office she saw that it was locked and started to head back to her desk. Bit before that she heard a muffled "AAAHHH" sound.

Fearing her boss was in trouble she unlocked the door to help him. When the door was opened she saw Jack rubbingone out to his computer."GET THE HELL OUT" he yelled.

She quickly shut the door and stated back to her desk. So many thoughts were going through her head as she tried to forget about what she saw. Not 5 minutes had passed before Jack called her back into his office.

"I'm sorry you had to see that Suzanne, I know it was wrong and I'll think twice before trying that again. But please can we keep this between us, my dad would kill me if he found out what I did at his company" he explained

"I think we should get you a new lock. I got into your office with just a paper clip" Suzanne said in a calm voice. "What, why are you thinking about the door Suzanne"

"You can call me Suzie, and I think you're dad is the least of your worries". He gulped "I'm done for ain't I?" He asked with fear in his voice. "Now ever since I started here you've treated me fair and I think we can reach a fair agreement"

Jack thought the worst as he started to worry about what Suzie was planning. "what did you have in mind?"he asked in a shaky voice. "I know there a new branch management position open, I would like to have it" Suzie said smirking. "Done, it's yours" Jack said hoping that it was all. "There is one other thing". Susie got up and walk towards Jack with malicious intent.

"I want you put a baby's in me" Susie demanded. "What did you say?" Jack wanted to make sure that this was real. "With all this work I've been doing I haven't been able to really live a social life and I want to become a mother before it's too late". Jack was astonished, he didn't really have a social life either because he grew up rich and was basically raised by tutors. "I... uh... don't know what to say". "Don't say anything, just sit there and look pretty" Suzie bent over and took her panties off and dropped on the floor infront of him. Jack's heart raced as he couldn't believe what was happening right now. "Are we really doing this, right here, right now?". Susie ignored his words and started to unbuckle his pants. Jack was in shock, he knew that this was wrong but he was afraid of what she might do if he stopped her.

"just relax and try to be quiet this time" she put her leg over his chair, as her wet pussy hovered over his cock, she guided his dick inside her. "mmnng" she moned softly as to not draw any attention. Jack was enjoying himself until "hnnng" he didn't last long. Susie felt his worm cum inside her "that's ok boss, I got what I wanted". She got off him, turned around and bent over to pick he panties up.

"I'm not done yet" jack grabbed her wrist, his cock was still hard and his confidence had grown. "I don't mind making sure I'm pregnant" she leaned on his desk and presented her cum filled pussy. "I'm gonna enjoy this" he whispered in her ear as he started ramming his hips against her ass. His dick reaching deep inside her. They didn't care how loud they were, they fucked each other all morning that day.

That was 9 months ago and now Suzie sat in her own office with her beautifully round belly. Jack had her office custom made so that their coworkers were deaf to the sounds of their "one on one meetings". Jack entered her office and locked the door "thought we could have some fun before the meeting. How's my son doing". "he has been causing some trouble in there, I think he wants his daddy". Suzie bent over on here chair, awaiting Jack's dick. "You shouldn't even be working being a week overdue, but I can't deny that ass" Jack began fucking her. Wrapping his hands around her plump baby bump and feeling and his son kicking much more than usual "he's really fussy today huh?". Jack turned Suzie so that he could get a better grip of her belly "not so rough today" Suzie begged."I'll try" Jack responded as he pulled her belly aggenst his hips.

They made love for 20 minutes before the pains began. "Aaagh" " are you alright?" "Yes it's nothing, just don't stop". Jack continued, he couldn't resist her jucy pussy as it was extra wet today. " oh god, unnnggg" Suzie's water broke and soked her carpet floor. "Was that the baby" jack asked, worried. "No I just camed" she lied.

"Are you sure, that's a lot of juice" "yeah I've been drinking a lot of liquids" Susie didn't want to miss this meeting, she had to be present not because she needed to but she wanted to see Jack get his promotion. "I'll be fine I can last an hour before the baby comes" she thought. " you go get ready for the meeting, I'm going to clean up this mess and" she was interrupted by a painful contraction. "Are you ok" jack asked "just Braxton hics, nothing to worry about. You go I'll see you at the meeting" she said rushing him out the door. "Please, I want to see Jack inherent the company, just stay in there for a little while"

At the meeting, she was lucky to be seated at the far side, away from Jack. The CEO and Jack's dad, the owner and founder, sat at the other end of the table. As the meeting began the time between her contractions grew smaller. "It's only an hour, I can make it" she said as she felt her baby pushing against her cervix. The meaning was like any other boring corporate meeting. They started by sharing quarterly reports and future contracts. She couldn't focus on anything they were saying as she tried so hard to stay silent.

"Finally it was time for Jack to receive his promotion. Jack's father got up to address the room "now on to more exciting news, I think it's time to welcome our new CFO Jack" everyone in the room started clapping and as they did Suzie was able to let out a small whimper of pain as she felt like pushing. As the noise died down Jack started to speak "I am very honored to have this position and I would like to thank my branch manager, this could have happened without you Suzanne and I would like to thank you for all your hard work". She stood up trying very hard not to scream "thank you all for supporting me... I know times been tough but together we can-mnngg-get through it". She sat down quick, and as she did another contraction hit her.

When the meeting was overly quickly waddled to her office. She knew that she wasn't going to make it to the hospital and laid on the floor to push. A couple of minutes I'd pass and she could feel her baby halfway up the birth canal. Suddenly Jack swung the door opened " I knew it, why didn't you tell me?". "Just shut up and help me deliver this baby,I'm so close" she said pushing her baby. "No son of mine is being born in an office" Jack stuff cheese fingers inside Suzie and started to push their son back. "NNOOO, STOP" Suzie cried out in vain. "now I'm going to carry you and you're going to keep your legs shut until we get to the hospital, understood? " Suzie nodded.

The trip to the hospital was excruciating. Jack would constantly stick his fingers inside Suzie to make sure his baby stayed inside. Every time Suzie pushed he pushed back. But right as they got into the parking lot Suzie was able to push her babies head out. "PLEASE JUST LET ME FINNISH" "NO, YOU BETTER START WAIT TILL THE DELIVERY ROOM" Jack pulled her up. It was hard to walk when there was a baby in between her legs. Jack manage to find a wheelchair and sat her down. When they got to the lobby Jack yelled for the doctor's help but in vain because with one final push his son was born.

#birth kink #pushingbabybackin #giving birth

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vinndoggy · 16 days

Text

Arlecchino x male reader

Bottom reader , handjob , praise , fingering

promote: " takings it so good.. just like that"

summary: even if there her 'children' why did lyney , lynette get so much attention, you where jealous and arlecchino did not tolerate this behavior

Always being praised for such little things so what if they did silly tasks? Why did lyney and lynette get so much attention 'your doing great' 'well done' 'ah you to are doing well for me' its not like they where the only ones working hard!! how come they got touch from her without even asking? Yes maybe it was silly, its her 'children' basically so its normal

Still unfair!!!

"Can't talk?" you where brought back from your thoughts hearing arlecchinos voice "s-sorry- i ...mhmm-" you where trying to think of an excuse so she wouldnt get mad at you for not listening "hush dear..i know whats wrong" she leaned closly to you , now this would be normal but arlecchino never called you dear? she wasnt affectionate even but you had such little time to think before she said another sentence

" someone wants my touch?" No. You where jealous but getting that would make you happy "yes- ma'am" she chuckled shaking her head "dont call me that now. say my name." "..a-rlecchino?" You couldn't help but stutter as she ran her fingers against your sides , she got up and sat away from you confused for a while before you went over to sit on her lap "sorry i cant think-" "i can tell , dont worry little boys like you never think, isnt that right?" you nodded "see? So obedient..what do you get for this?" "I get-" she pulled your hair making you head go back as you groaned - it wasnt to rough but still enough to hurt "dont answer, when im done all youll be saying is my name out of that pretty mouth" her hands stayed at your belt as you nervously moved around on her lap

She un-bluckled your belt ,making her hands go down your pants, they where cold against your skin making you shiver her nails dug into your thigh , she rubbed circles at the mark she left humming , she pulled your pants down to your knees as she traced over the buldge in your boxers " i havent done much to you...and your already like this?" Your cheeks where red , she closed her eyes smiling when she felt you tense and shake as she pulled your boxers down , her hand ran from the base to the tip as you moaned twitching, she rubbed circles around the tip her hands coated in your fluids already " its like ive never touched you." "Arlecchino please-" "aw , my poor baby " she moved you to one side as she held you on her side "what are you- hNNNG!~" she pushed her finger in you stretching you out "t-to...m." you tryed to say 'too much' but it came out more pathetic as you moaned right after , its embarrassing that this was being done to you- even if enjoable. Its like you where the girl and she was the guy "doing so good for me. Take it yes just like that. " your eyes rolled back you couldn't even think about how embarrassing it was only her movements the way her fingers kept hitting the right spots as you came , due the postion some went on the floor.. but arlecchino just moved you back to sitting on her lap holding you up "good boy , look at you. So pleased by my fingers..mhm?" "Thank y-ou" you muttered out as she rubbed your back

#arlecchino #geshin impact #genshin fanfic #fanfic #arlechinno genshin #genshin x reader #male reader #bottom reader

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goodomensafterdark · 3 months

Text

Writer's Guild Cock Fight: Pine and Surfeit

Written by CelestialThighMuffs, find them on Reddit and AO3

TW/CW: Explicit porn without plot. Involves shaving, frottage, masturbation, coming in pants, improper use of Shakespeare.

Summary: Crowley mixes up his days and he's late for dinner. He's in the middle of pampering himself when Aziraphale shows up at the flat to check on him and insists on helping...until they can't help themselves.

Excerpt:

“May I?” Crowley turned around and blinked. “What?” “May I shave you?” “Er…why?” Aziraphale’s eyes glittered like he’d just read the sappy ending to one of his romance novels. “You wouldn’t have gone through all this trouble if you didn’t enjoy it,” he said, marching right up into Crowley’s personal space. “And I will never be the one to take any pleasure away from you. So, please. Allow me.” “I—ngh—okay, fine,” Crowley stuttered. He would not get all sentimental over this. “But do you even know how? S’not exactly a thing for beginners.” Aziraphale smirked. “You’re not the only one who enjoys straight razor shaves.” There was an undercurrent to his voice that made Crowley’s breath catch. “Now, come on.” A chaise lounge appeared next to the bed that might have been pinched from Buckingham Palace. “Sit down.” Crowley sat, carefully arranging the towel over his lap to keep the important bits covered. When he looked up, he was immediately skewered by Aziraphale’s gaze. Not breaking eye contact, the angel slipped out of his coat, folding it and placing it on the corner of the bed. He then removed his wing-shaped cufflinks and dropped them into his waistcoat pocket. Crowley let out a long exhale. Aziraphale rolled one sleeve up to the elbow, then the other before turning around to retrieve the razor, putting his plump arse on display. When he turned around, Crowley quickly snapped his gaze up, only to find Aziraphale eyeing him up like a lion would a slab of meat. He slowly walked over, sinking to his knees between Crowley’s legs. Hnnng.

Continue reading on AO3

Huge thanks to u/Dbacklot99 for the beta!

#good omens after dark #goad #good omens #ineffable smut war #smut war #writers of after dark #good omens fanfic

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ourflagmeansgayrights · 7 months

Text

ofmd s2e2 rewatch where i pause to jot down my thoughts and other random shit

not quite a reaction post, not quite a liveblog. this post is gonna be unpolished and messy bc this is the only way i know to process my emotions abt these episodes enough that i can actually start talking coherently about them.

s2e1, s2e2, s2e3, s2e4, s2e5, s2e6, s2e7, s2e8

did not notice the first time around that buttons is sleeping with his legs sticking up resting against the side of the ship. king.

WHY DID THEY USE A DIFFERENT TAKE OF THE YOU WEAR FINE THINGS WELL SCENE WHAT PURPOSE DOES THIS SERVE. THIS HAS BEEN BOTHERING ME FOR DAYS.

oh god the face stede makes after he breathes out all wistfully is so pained... ogughuhg heartbreak......

why is the groom cake topper dirty ed were you kissing it. ed. edward.

hNNNG ed pushing the painted bride figurine closer..... im gonna throw up

ed!! rolling over and crying!!! TAIKA HOW ARE YOU SO GOOD AT LOOKING SO FUCKING SAD THIS SHIT HURTS ME

like i can literally feel the tears burning in his eyes. the way his chest starts shaking with sobs but he's managing to keep the sobs in for like one more second. he's trying so hard to hold it in and i've cried like this before and it physically HURTS

also oughg the song. run from me baby... run my good wife... run from me baby..... you better run for your life........ ED THINKS THAT'S WHAT STEDE DID!!! RAN AWAY FROM HIM!!!!! and he thinks that was stede running for his life bc like, he thinks he's inherently monstrous and unlovable and hnnnnnnnnngggg. ed teach go to therapy challenge.

the crew responding to zheng's wake-up bell is so relatable. me when my alarm goes off at 6am

ok so the running bit where stede's crew has never heard of China before. is kinda weird to me. and honestly it kinda runs back to what zheng said in the last episode "one thing i've learned in my time here: you people know so little" about nobody knowing how valuable indigo is. like the show is portraying your average caribbean pirate as really ignorant and only like, ed stede and fucking ricky are on par with zheng yi sao. and i mean knowledge doesnt equate to intelligence so like the indigo thing i didnt really bat an eye at but when it was played for comedy with olu not knowing how to pronounce china i was like... hm. but the season's just started so maybe im reading too much into it but idk. it's a weird writing choice to me.

loving how at the start of last season the crew almost mutinied bc stede was a soft captain but now roach is out here embracing how all of them are "tender as hell."

love how lucius and pete have their romantic reunion chat just. fully in front of an audience

stede looks. so upset. watching lupete kiss. this man misses his boyfriend so fucking bad

lucius not even trying to hide how much he Does Not want to be stuck with stede in towels

also hi the sky in this scene is so pink. it was blue when buttons was doing tai chi so i guess this is sunset. day one complete.

buttons confirmed sea witch one of the best scenes in s2 so far. intrigued by auntie saying "i have looked for you far and wide" like are there other sea witches and auntie only wanted buttons?? or is buttons literally the only sea witch in the world. i want the lore.

ed. eddie eddie edward. ed my beloved babygirl. i would fuckinggg die for you

ok but also there is literally no way frenchie didnt see ed when he walked in like ed is standing Right There. i love when directors do stuff like this tho it's so funny to me. "ok joel just walk in there and pretend like you dont see taika standing literally right in front of you"

just noticed ed was polishing the handle to the wardrobe (the main wardrobe) right there. he's tidying up. getting his affairs in order before he— *i break down into inconsolable sobbing*

i wont like tho it was very funny to me when we finally got this full scene and ed's "and no more stede" turned out to be "no more izzy." very fun for me

god i LOVE when we get pirate code shit. none of these rules ever make sense it's always just whatever works for the plot's sake. "that's the code of the sea: the new first mate always kills the old first mate. it's always been like that" i don't think it was literally ever like that i think the writers decided that making up this bullshit rule would add drama to the situation. it's like how pirates can win duels by rendering their opponent's sword inoperable (as if pirates ever had like ritualistic duels). or next episode when zheng yi sao is gonna kill them for mutinying against ed. i love how all the logistics of the plot are always some handwavy-bullshit bc the show just Does Not Care about this shit. this is the ed and stede show and everything else is just superfluous set dressing

we were all fixated on lucius living in the walls none of us predicted that it could be izzy living in the walls

"start with his leg see where it goes" frenchie what does this MEAN

archie thinking jim was asking which leg to cut off and just. answering the question genuinely. is so fucking real lmao me too girl

JIM PUTTING THEIR HAND OVER ARCHIE'S TO BRACE THEMSELF BEFORE THEY START CUTTING INTO IZZY'S LEG... the romances on this show are unparalleled

archie when izzy's leg starts gushing: aye yai yai!

stede telling everyone in laundry abt his whole romance with blackbeard. and stede telling zheng and auntie abt blackbeard when he thought they were just soup sellers. you KNOW stede's been telling literally everyone he meets abt how he's looking for his beloved ed.

lol ok but cuba was not written on the map in the one shot and then stede says "oh, hang on, he might be in cuba!" and it cuts back to the map and he underlines the word "cuba" which somehow mysteriously appeared on the map while stede was chatting. 10/10 no notes

also GOD do i relate to stede so hard sometimes. it did not even occur to stede to ask lucius how he's been until lucius points it out and then he's like "oh! right! how are you??" and he does genuinely care but he was just so absorbed in his own shit it did not occur to him to ask. like. ohhhh baby does that hit home

LUCIUS DRAMATICALLY PAUSING IN THE DOORWAY WHEN STEDE TELLS HIM TO WAIT. HIS HANDS ON EITHER SIDE OF THE DOOR AND HIS HEAD BENT. THIS FUCKING DRAMA QUEEN I LOVE HIM!!!!

LLOOKING OVER HIS SHOULDER "oh, yeah. now you care?" AND THNE SHAKING HIS HEAD AS HE WALKS AWAY god i LOVE this soap opera

ok but buttons looks very confused when auntie says "i see you've adopted the humble form of a man" and then she hands him the book abt shapeshifting. like did she know that he doesnt know how to change form or what.

auntie asks buttons to bless their travels. anyway this is how stede somehow didnt get everyone killed in e1 despite the fact that they were at sea for a few months and he had no idea what the fuck he was doing.

LOVE auntie's little... yell? whimper?? before shuffling away nervously. incredible performance.

also the spellbook thing is in chinese. pretty cool how buttons knows how to read chinese.

ed jumpscare 2!

frenchie's "fire away. not literally, i hope" I MISSED THAT THE FIRST TIME KJSGHKFJDGHJHK WHAT A GREAT FUCKING LINE

love how irl frenchie using the wrong hand for that throat-slitting pantomime would be unimportant but the show acts like that's something that could actually give frenchie away bc they need to really nail home the fact that Ed Is A Fucking Genius

another thing ed is: INCREDIBLY HOT. he is being intimidating and evil to frenchie rn and i am very very into it.

obsessed with archie casually picking some random gore off her hand

also obsessed with how jim is just poking at izzy's leg. they learned how to butcher animals as a kid tho so i guess they're not really grossed out by severed body parts lmaoo

also also obsessed with how izzy would absolutely have not survived this at all. i love this show

list part 2:

ok im sorry but "he's our dick" does not feel earned to me. like they use that fantastic shot of the whole crew in episode 6 last season but what's crucial abt that shot is izzy isn't hanging out with the crew. he's sitting away in the corner monologuing abt how he thinks maybe ed might not want to kill stede.

i do think it's significant tho that jim wasn't there for izzy at his worst aka threatening to withhold rations for laughing at him. like they weren't part of the vote to mutiny against izzy. but frenchie was and frenchie was like "start with his leg see where it goes" which does not seem like he's really that invested in keeping izzy alive.

also it's weird how we don't see fang at all for this bit with hiding izzy in the walls. like he would be the one i'd expect to have the strongest connection to izzy bc he knew izzy before the show started and he was hugging and comforting izzy last episode.

anyway imo jim keeping izzy alive is more abt them missing when they were on the ship with olu and the whole crew and the ship was like a family, not necessarily abt feeling loyalty to izzy specifically. i could be wrong tho who knows.

one thing i do know is that it is VERY important to point out how jim is struggling really hard with everything, archie is not. she wasnt there for the co-captaining era at all and she seems to be rolling with everything like it's all expected. this includes the wedding raid and ed pointing a gun at her last season and stuff. even now she's mostly just confused by why jim is bothering to try and keep izzy alive. but she acts like the amputation and the violence are all what she expected.

yay kissing!! with the shit stuffed up their nose and covered in blood and jim still holding the leg GOD I LOVE THIS SHOW

hnng when archie says "you have... hope" jim's jaw tenses and they visibly swallow after the word "hope." god jim is going through it

"the wooden demon boy that thirsted for life" god i love this game of telephone that the show is playing with pinocchio it's so fucking funny

archie definitely still says a few syllables after "no i was cleaning up blood" while jim was leaning in for another kiss but none of it forms a coherent word. relatable.

ed's "ohhhhohoho. ohoho" is so funny to me. this man is so jealous that other people are getting to kiss ppl they like but not him.

hm archie and jim are not actually kissing when we cut to the shot of ed standing in the stairwell. i imagine this is an editing goof or something

jim and archie pulling away like two kids who got caught kissing under the bleachers during gym class or something. incredible. one of jim's nose plug rags is mysteriously missing now. i think archie ate it.

ed shushing frenchie. nothing to say here but "i need him carnally"

"take the fuckin leg" ed does NOT like mess!!!

"he was your friend" well jim. he might have been ed's friend. but he had a very strange way of showing it.

why does it sound like ed has spurs on his boots

OLU IS SO CUTE I CANT BLAME ZHENG FOR BEING LIKE "you're doing so good at filing thanks so much!!" WHEN HE'S ACTIVELY FUCKING EVERYTHING UP

also. i want to know about auntie's filing system. ahead of it's time, you say?? tell me more. hi my name is jess and i love sorting things

ah yeah olu mispronouncing china moment

olu and zheng are cute tho ngl

roach is having an orgasmic experience drinking soup. very relatable.

love that stede called the broth "insane" like fics so often get stede's voice wrong bc he will randomly say casual slang in a way that contradicts his general s1 vibe of stuffy frilly rich guy. but he's more like your average dad whose general grammar when speaking is pretty outdated but he's also trying to use slang to fit in with his kids

oh god stede is trying so hard with lucius it is giving SUCH awkward dad vibes. "when i was young and edgy" and "mr. cool" STEEEEDE

"my spicy little rat boy" im so sad that lucius hates that pet name bc this is the funniest thing black pete's ever said

aw nooooo the way pete jumps when lucius yells at him :(:(:(

yo wee john has like a wristband with all these sewing needles and shit stuck on it that's such a cool costume detail

the first thing izzy says after waking up is "my leg" and in my head im hearing it in the spongebob meme voice

first: very funny how ed responds "yeah!" like, laughing about the whole. amputation thing. and then secondly i am obsessed with "up in Leg Heaven" he is so fucking quirky. i love him.

"have you come to take the other one" yeah you'd probably enjoy that huh izzy.

love ed's dangly earring. gender.

smthng abt how izzy is instantly exhausted and dismissive when ed tells izzy to take the gun vs how ed was also bored and dismissive when izzy said "i have love for you." idk if there's anything there im just making tenuous connections in my head rn

help. ed clenching his fists when he's standing with his back to izzy. he really wants izzy to do it but also even deeper than that he really doesn't he wants to live

izzy starts to laugh the same way he started to cry last episode with like a really loud sudden gasp of air. also he laughs so weirdly jesus christ

also jesus this is so fucking dark. i mean obviously but im fucking reeling right now from ed trying to get izzy to kill him and izzy's response is just "do it yourself you fucking pussy." fuck.

more thoughts on this scene here

"i loved you... best i could" i actually dont have a lot of thoughts abt this at all aside from it just seems like a weird thing for ed to say. idk. i have a few metas abt this saved that ive been meaning to read so maybe that will help me deconstruct this but i think i'd need more time to figure out why this line feels weird to me. it could literally just be that i dont like blackhands at all but idk. probably not gonna unpack my feelings for a while tho bc in terms of everything i want to dig into from these 3 episodes alone this is at the bottom of that list lol

love how ed tells frenchie "go live" right before he steers them into a storm and tries to doom everyone on the ship.

"two messed-up kids probably" i know this is one of those things that some viewers are just always gonna have a problem with but it's so fucking funny to me how stede is like. never seeing his children again. and is like "yeah they're probably traumatized by how i was a bad father. well that's for mary and doug to deal with!"

lucius winking when he calls stede quite the fuck-up. i love this snarky gay

anyway for how fucked up the vibe is on ed's ship at least they weren't playing human puppet or making people catch rats with their teeth

shit this is longer than the last post. anyway list part 3:

ok i completely forgot abt this scene where the crew back on the Revenge is talking in the hallway before they go confront ed but i think it's rlly interesting how jim is the only one who says anything abt how ed's sudden cheery mood is NOT a good thing. fang is like "do we think he's better?" and jim's like "fuck no!" and frenchie's like "idk he seemed pretty calm to me." like this is so fucking juicy to me. jim knew this wasn't "better." i think this is because jim kinda gets it. they know what it's like to be told you're only meant for violence. and they know what it's like to want something softer. last season i probably wouldnt have said jim understood ed's suicidal tendencies but the way jim KNOWS that this isnt better makes me wonder if they understand this, too.

altho when they go outside and ed is like "it's a bad storm! and i took the wheel! and im gonna fire into the mast! we're all gonna die!!" jim yells "what do you want, you piece of shit!" (in spanish) so maybe they dont get the suicide bit of it. but they did understand that ed wasn't better.

oh ed's voice in "what do i want?" is so whiny and sad. babygirl is fucking going through it. good thing the rain is hiding his tears ahaha. ha.

"all love dies im just hastening the process" objectively this is fucked up but also it is so funny to me that he's like "i got dumped so now nobody else is allowed to be happy and in love." he broke up all the couples at the end of s1 and he raided a fucking wedding. babygirl i love you. you are so unwell

VERY RANDOM THOUGHT and i would have to go back to last episode double check but i dont think any of the background crew are women?? it's just archie??? which kinda bums me out a bit like i dont only want female rep in the main cast i want to see random background women too. i could be entirely wrong abt this tho just in this scene i only see dudes in the background

anyway archie being like "alright i guess we're fighting" bc this is archie's normal. archie is just kinda resigned to her life being shit.

stede crossing out "dead" and circling "alive" is so fucking funny to me hfjkhdjvgdfjk like. manifesting.

but also he does kinda manifest that in the next episode doesnt he?? he loves ed back to life ahaha oh god oh fuck *starts sobbing*

"looks like he's gotten back into arson" okay and??? wee john's an arson enthusiast also, cmon lucius dont judge a man for his hobbies

stede's fucking face when he considers what lucius said abt "maybe his time with you is the best it's gonna get for him" like i think he tries to think abt it and just. cant. he cant fucking accept that. god im gonna throw up.

HNNNNG THE RUN FROM ME SONG COMING BACK IM GONNA LOSE MY SHIT

i cant get over how archie is like. yeah bro it's fine. it's cool just kill me im not gonna hold it against you.

jim's like "YOU WERE GONNA DO IT ANYWAY!!" and ed's like "teehee yeah :3 u got me"

oh bro some of the random background crew people just fully go overboard huh. damn. rip those guys.

ok so im choosing to believe that izzy fired a lucky shot there bc the man couldn't even shoot himself point blank in the skull but im supposed to believe that he got ed right in the arm from the other side of the deck in the middle of a crazy storm and the ship rocking like crazy and izzy's probably suffering from like, insane amounts of blood loss?? i dont buy it. i mean it doesnt matter at all but i think he was trying to hit ed's general torso area and if ed didnt have his arm held out izzy would've missed. like i said tho this makes no fucking difference. it's just a fun little headcanon hehe

love how ed laughs like an absolute maniac here. babygirl u are so unhinged.

wait it's fucking wild how in the middle of all this we to cut to auntie putting the map back together and then we see that zheng is bringing her fleet over land. anyway this is foreshadowing obviously but like considering the song choice and cutting this between ed's suicide attempt and then the crew mutinying. is a choice. and idk why they made that choice yet.

it is a pretty dramatic reveal tho. i didnt appreciate that the first time but holy shit. she's just pulling her ships all the way to the caribbean. girlboss.

and then the mutiny. the relief on ed's face hurts me so fucking much

other thoughs about this scene here

HOLY SHIT THIS POST CREDITS SCENE AHHHHHH

so first of all. auntie saying olu can be allowed to clean up random hairs around the desk and zheng being like "there's not that much hair" girl you know you're lying. her hair is so long and so gorgeous and you KNOW random strands end up making scary-ass hair spiders if somebody doesn't regularly sweep things up

second of all: olu pretending there's a carrier bird with a messege for zeng to give her a break is SO CUTE. OLU. OLU YOU ARE SUCH A SWEETHEART.

#ofmd s2 spoilers #our flag means death #ofmd #ofmd s2 #ofmd season 2 #edward teach #stede bonnet #crew of the revenge #archie #zheng yi sao #izzy hands #izzy critical #s2e02 #txt #mine #og #gentlebeard #ofmds2rwwiptjdmtaors

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