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#her idea of Best Possible Life would make him MISERABLE
newttxt · 7 months
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i was talking extensively with a friend about reiju’s delicate balance of caring/emotionless and her relationship with sanji
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saintobio · 1 month
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sincerely yours. (10)
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↳ gojou satoru/reader
when a twist of fate led their marriage to the path of a quintessential tragic romance, two past lovers go through another series of experiences on love, heartbreak, identity, illness, and trauma along the road to a happily ever after. 
genre. heavy angst, amnesia, modern au, 18+ 
tags/warnings. depression, intoxication, trauma, implied suicide attempt, toxic relationships,
notes. important announcement ! as you all know, this series has always had an extensive approach into detailing the events in its side stories (ie. sera x sukuna x naoya, yuuji x megumi, maki x yuuta x miwa, etc), but while writing the chapters, the word count and the plot building had become too exhausting for me to produce consistently, esp with the amount of scenes and side stories i was introducing to the story, so i've decided it's best for me to stick to the main characters, reader & gojo, and will only add side stories as necessary. this really hurts me knowing that i can't achieve the level of comprehensive writing and world building that i did for sincerely not, but i really want to finish sy as soon as possible and removing a chunk of side stories would be some of the things that'd help me achieve that 😭 i hope you guys understand. hopefully i'll figure out a way to write those side stories instead of completely abandoning them mid-way in this series. but as always, thanks for ur continued support <3
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series masterlist -> episode eleven
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“It’s a little weird.”
What was supposed to be her bed time had turned into a moment of reflection for Sera who, instead of being fast asleep at this time of the night, had unconsciously brought herself inside Sukuna’s home office to join the up-and-coming tech mogul in his late-night programming. 
She wore her silk pajamas, pacing back and forth in her boyfriend’s office as her mind flew back to the recent encounter she had with her ex-boyfriend. Who knew that Satoru’s kid would look just like a carbon copy of him? No, actually, the question should be: who knew it would be a different woman by his side acting as the mother of his child? Sera had to laugh at herself, shaking her head as she realized how truly and undeniably ridiculous her ex was. It was clear that day that he wasn’t really as loyal of a partner as he claimed himself to be. 
Did he really just go through all those crazy things with you, only to look like a whore-hopping fool now? 
If he was bound to end up with someone else other than you, then why did he have to make Sera’s life miserable in the first place? 
She may have done terrible things before as a selfish and materialistic lover of his, but that wouldn’t change the fact that Satoru also contributed to her role as the side-piece in his marital relationship. He allowed her to cling to him like a mistress. Being his side-piece wasn’t even something that she had forced upon him. It was his promise, an idea that he planted on Sera’s head, saying that she would need to stay by his side and that he would marry her guaranteed that he had already secured the merger and divorced you. He swore like a fool that he would divorce you. But guess what? The jerk ended up falling in love with his wife and suddenly had no use of Sera. Suddenly, he was such a good husband who couldn’t be more loyal. Suddenly, he was a lovestruck man who had always been in love with his childhood friend. If he had downright dumped Sera the moment his engagement was announced, if he had not been prideful and ambitious since the beginning of his marriage, he probably would have had better luck at having that healthy relationship he yearned from you. 
But how come the blame of being the third-party was all on Sera when her only mistake then was loving the person who promised her all the good things in life? 
Now, you see, this was all just bitterness brewing at the back of her head. She knew what she did was still wrong and that she wasn’t innocent. Sera swore to herself that she would never look back on those awful days ever again, but seeing how Satoru was running around freely with a different woman just reminded Sera of his days as a spiteful, two-timing man. Somehow, it felt like he had changed and yet didn’t at all. 
Ha ha ha. How ridiculous was that? 
“What’s funny?” asked Sukuna, her present boyfriend and thankfully so. He was Sera’s blessing, because she never would have thought that a man like him could still exist in a world full of Satoru’s and Naoya’s. “You look cute smiling to yourself, though.”
“I know,” she responded to the compliment, shifting to settle herself on his lap, though his attention remained fixed on his laptop screen. “It's just strange to me,” she continued, her voice thoughtful, “how Gojou appears his usual self, yet there's something off about him.”
The question clouded Sukuna’s eyes in confusion, tilting his head to the side as he tried to comprehend her description. “You mean dude got uglier?”
I wish, Sera thought. “No, he’s… he’s different. The vibes are different. For a second, he even looked like he was dissociating the whole time he was with that girl,” she said, referring to Satoru’s new girl as though she was your cheap alternative, “But then again, why is he with her in the first place if he looks absent-minded the whole time, you know what I mean?” 
“Was he like that with you before?” 
“At times, but it’s not like the way he’s acting right now… I don’t know, I can’t explain it. The energy is off. That’s just not how he acts when he’s really, really into someone.”
To be honest, Sukuna didn’t give a damn about Satoru Gojou’s life and any normal boyfriend wouldn’t really like hearing their girlfriend talking about another man, especially her ex at that, but he knew Sera found joy in old money gossip and he was aware of the demoralizing past she has had by associating herself with them. Sukuna was acting all engaged in their conversation because he wanted to make her feel heard and that he shared her simple joys in life. Besides, it was through her that he learned so many inside scoops about the people that ran the country’s biggest conglomerates. It was like watching one heck of a messy episode of Dynasty. 
“Didn’t he get into a car accident?” he recalled, remembering the headlines on the news that day, “Then, we saw him at the expo and he couldn’t really remember you. The guy’s probably got his head all messed up.” 
Sera was bitter at the time thinking that Satoru was toying with her when he asked who she was, when the truth was, he was actually diagnosed with amnesia. It was such a shock to her, truthfully, because having amnesia felt like something you would only see on a movie’s screen. Well, in that case, she could also say karma’s a bitch. The director might be onto something here.
“He’s probably not mentally fine, but still…” she thought carefully and played the scene in her head again. What was it about the Gojou that she saw the other day that was different? “He just has a different vibe to him that it feels uncomfortable. It’s like he’s rude, but not so rude? He doesn’t have much of a personality anymore. Like a complete stranger.”
“Maybe it’s the new girl rubbing off on him.” Sukuna was back to typing on his laptop as he said that. Frankly, he was just saying anything at this point. 
Sera shook her head in response. “Well, I don’t know about that girl he’s seeing and I don’t really care, but it’s common knowledge to the filthy rich that she’s Y/N’s best friend. That’s why I recognized her right away, and that’s why it disgusted me,” she pressed on, “Tell me, would you—and be honest about this—would you fuck your best friend’s ex?” 
The humor on her boyfriend’s face came right as she asked that. “Babe, you fucked a married man. It’s worse than fucking somebody’s ex.” 
“Shut up.” Rolling her eyes, she got up from his lap and sighed, but Sukuna wasted no time in pulling her back onto his lap. His chuckle was mingling with the gentle kiss he had planted on her cheek, unaware that his actions made Sera’s heart flutter. “Forget it. I shouldn’t even be talking about Satoru with you.”
The man stretched his arms and finally closed his laptop, patting Sera’s thigh afterwards. “On that note, I do have another ‘dude from your past’ that I gotta meet tomorrow.” 
Her reaction alone was a response for him. “Naoya?” she protested, face contorting with disgust. “What for? I told you not to take on that project.”
“Yeah, I considered it, and you know, the partnership could really benefit CleaveTech,” Sukuna reasoned, leaning back as he outlined the situation to her from a business standpoint. Given her own background working for the Gojou Group before, he expected her to grasp the significance of this partnership and set aside any personal grievances or emotional attachments. “The Zen'in Group is a major client. It’s all pros and no cons here.”
“The contra is the guy you’re gonna work with,” she highlighted with a hint of annoyance rising from her throat, “Naoya is nothing but an opportunistic motherfucker. Mind you, he’s a stupid elitist, too.” 
He held back a laugh, not even threatened by a man who had a terrible history with his girlfriend. “Nah, I’ll deal with him. Just trust me on this.” 
As much as Sera wanted to object, she knew Sukuna had a point and that she really shouldn’t hinder his company from being partnered with such a large conglomerate. She just didn’t like the thought of her boyfriend being around a man who manipulated and humiliated her to the point where she had been blacklisted by multiple companies, leaving her to resort to being somewhat of a prostitute just to make ends meet. 
The world was harsh for the not-so-rich, and all Sera wanted was to give those upper class people a taste of their own medicine. But seeing as her desire for revenge would clash with her boyfriend’s chance at company growth, she had to set aside her personal grudge and support him on this one.  
Still, there was nothing wrong with being curious. “Is there any other reason you agreed to this partnership?”
Sukuna smirked as if he expected that question from her. “Blame it on my little brother, he’s been bugging me ‘bout it.”
“Yuuji?” Sera asked, clearly confused. 
To which her boyfriend quickly answered, “Yeah. He said it’ll give him an opportunity to work with his best friend. You know that kid, Fushiguro, right?” 
Ahh. Toji’s kid aka the heir to the Zen’in business empire. Sera had met Megumi before, and while that other brat Mai used to be unreasonably rude to her, the younger boy was always civil and respectful at least. He never even once treated Sera like dirt when she was spending time with Naoya at their mansion. Perhaps their upbringing really differed because he was raised by Toji and the other Zen’ins were raised by demons. 
Nevertheless, with a connection now established between Sukuna and Naoya through Yuuji and Megumi, Sera couldn’t help but feel that her peaceful days as a nouveau riche were about to become far more intriguing. Depending on the cards she would choose to play, they could even turn into a living nightmare. 
— —
You weren’t exactly abandoning your company; you were merely taking a break, a necessary pause given your current mental state after the whole break-up with Toji and the Osaka thing. Your mind was just too overwhelmingly occupied to even properly function. Each day, mustering the energy to show up at Hearte's head office became increasingly challenging, especially when faced with individuals who relied on you for major decisions and creative direction. 
To make matters worse, Akemi’s sudden resignation hit hard.
You received her decision by a simple letter, a mere piece of paper, without even having the guts and decency to meet with you in person. Was she scared? Or was this her way of rubbing salt on the wound, shoving it in your face that she was now taking things to the next level with your ex-husband? 
She did cite in her resignation letter that her reason for resigning from the role was due to conflict of interest. You wanted to laugh when you read that part. No, you wanted to choke in your fit of laughter after reading through her asinine reasons. She could have been upfront and mentioned that the so-called ‘conflict’ was the very man her best friend had previously married. 
Obviously, everyone in the office felt sad knowing that a core member of the company left without at least a 30-day notice, but they were all also aware that her resignation was due to personal albeit controversial reasons. Did Akemi not care about her image at all? The same colleagues she had trained, managed, and collaborated with would now likely gossip about her behind her back. She would become a hot topic of disrespect among the people that once heavily respected her. Did she also not care about the company you two created together anymore? This was the same company you two had passionately dreamed of during your late-night conversations on a New York rooftop. She was the one who wanted to build a fashion house together with you.
Yet, it seemed she was willing to throw it all away for a man already entangled in complicated familial dynamics. Her immediate resignation and refusal to speak to you in person just further confirmed it to you that Akemi was willing to forsake your friendship by choosing a man who already had a child with someone else. 
Since she chose that path, you couldn’t help but interpret Akemi’s actions as a deliberate slight against your friendship. It seemed clear that she no longer viewed you as a friend and was essentially cutting ties with you. Otherwise, why would she take such a step? Akemi wasn’t the type to be vindictive; she likely believed she was sparing you further pain by severing your connection. However, regardless of her intentions, her actions felt deeply disrespectful and hurtful.
If this was what she wanted, then kudos to her and her unbelievable confidence to choose a man like Satoru Gojou. Besides, it didn’t even take you a week to find another replacement. Your family connections were powerful after all. You readily had a pool of potential candidates for the role of the Head of Sales, Retail, and Merchandising—all from prestigious backgrounds and unparalleled expertise. While the competition was tough, you selected the person you deemed was the most qualified to be your second-in-command. This was someone you had esteemed since college, a person who excelled in both business acumen and creative vision.
Yuki Tsukumo. She was influential in every sense, and you trusted that she would be able to manage the high pressure environment of a start-up fashion house and transform it into an iconic brand, a household name that would one day rival Chanel and Miu Miu. 
You may have succeeded in replacing Akemi. You may have shown her that her position in the workforce was easily replaceable, but her role as your friend still left a lingering, repugnant mark that proved far more difficult to erase. This underlying sentiment could explain the unreasonable anger festering in your heart—a visceral reaction born from feelings of backstabbing betrayal. 
It was hard enough for you to travel all the way to Osaka with a broken heart, but it became much more agonizing to watch your own son run up to Akemi like she was his mother. It was a goddamn slap to your face, indeed, to see that your ex-husband had already chosen a woman to have his happy, little family with. That he wanted to be a good man and be everything you wished for in a husband for her. 
As they say, nothing hurts more than building a man for another woman. 
And honestly? You cried so much on the way home that you became numb. Now, you were just trying to get over it. You were trying to bury the searing pain in order to forget the betrayal you felt. It was all too much for a person to handle and it wasn’t like you hadn’t gone through the same old shit before. Wasn’t it worse before with Satoru actually cheating and all? He technically wasn’t crossing any lines here, so it shouldn’t hurt you. It shouldn’t. You had been here before. If you had managed to get through such an awful time as his previous wife, his relationship with Akemi shouldn’t be too hard to accept. No, you weren’t trying to lowball your pain, but it was better to be an optimist in this situation than be a suicidal, self-destructive person. You had a business to run and a child to raise. You had to be strong. 
Or at least, that was what you told yourself. That was what you had been telling yourself over and over, each time you got up from bed forcing yourself to have a false positive mindset. In fact, that was also why you had to take this extended break because you had to have your peace of mind. You had to have some form of release to remember why you needed to stay alive and keep yourself going.
Not just for Sachiro’s sake, but also for your own. 
Your safe haven for now was at the horse ranch, where the tranquility of riding and the beauty of nature provided the perfect ambiance for reflection. How long has it been since your last visit to Willow? Your father had been joking that you shouldn’t be leaving a beautiful, white Friesian horse unattended for years, especially not for the expensive price he paid her for. True enough, because the moment you saw the mare again, you almost forgot how majestic she was for her breed. Willow was a completely docile and graceful horse, so alike to you in many ways. However, one thing that was unlike you, was that she lived in peace, existing solely for herself and not for anyone else.
If only you could be like her. 
As you reached out to stroke your rare-breed horse, a new and unfamiliar stallion in the stable caught your eye. To think of it, your family shared this equestrian estate with the Gojou family. This realization meant that the strikingly elegant and tall gray horse in the adjacent stall belonged to none other than Satoru.
“It’s a Thoroughbred,” the equine caretaker informed while guiding your horse out of the stable, “Mr. Satoru got him recently and named him Six.” 
A gray Thoroughbred, renowned as the most expensive horse breeds out there. It could fetch a price as high as $70 million, and of course, Satoru was the perfect owner for such a prestigious horse. The stallion embodied his essence completely—its color, its build, its rarity. On the other hand, you couldn’t help but find his naming convention by number a bit odd. His previous black stallion was named Eight. This time around, it was Six. Couldn’t he be more imaginative?
“He’s beautiful,” you mumbled, nonetheless, in awe with the regality of the horse. 
“He’s a good boy, too,” added the enthusiastic horsekeeper in a thick country accent, “Mr. Satoru was here yesterday and played polo while riding him. They were perfectly in sync even if it was his first time riding him.”
Of course, he would play polo. That was one of his favorite recreational sports. The burning question at hand was, who was with him during his visit? Because if the caretaker mentioned Akemi, you would certainly lose it. This was your private space with him. This estate was a place that none of his other women had access to, not even Sera. This was a location filled with memories from your childhood. For him to bring another woman here would be crossing the damn line. 
“Did he bring anyone with him?” you asked, trying to sound casual as you dusted off your boots. 
The caretaker denied. “No, he was alone. He just came to play polo and check the horses he recently bought.” 
Oh… “He bought more than one?” 
Did he seriously get Akemi her own horse? Your heart was racing at the thought, but the caretaker led you to the stable near the exit to show you the other horse than your ex-husband had purchased. It was a brown Shetland pony. 
“He got a fully trained Shetland for your son,” the horsekeeper proudly declared, showcasing the pony as if he had been instructed to do so in anticipation of your visit. It was obvious that Gojou had already briefed him on introducing Sachiro’s new pony to you because he knew you would be asking about it. “His name is Elmo. He is kid-safe and very friendly.”
Frankly, you wanted to sigh in relief, but at the same time, it warmed your heart to know that Satoru got his son his own horse at such a young age. You could already sense him planning to make Sachiro take equestrian classes when he gets older, and probably join him on his horseback riding sessions, too. You could imagine just how perfect it would be to see the father and son bonding here, racing together, playing polo together… yet it would not be you who would be watching them on the side.  
This future he was setting up with his son would be an experience he would share with Akemi. 
There was no you in that vision anymore. 
The caretaker likely questioned your sanity when he noticed the bitter smile on your face as you mounted your mare. He might have even doubted whether you were sane enough to ride alone, without a guide, particularly through the woods since Willow had not been ridden for some time now. However, you had done it countless times before and were quite familiar with the trail, and so you dismissed his offer to lead you and assured him confidently that you knew your way back.
You needed this solitude. You craved this moment of peace, alone with your thoughts and surrounded by nature, to reflect on the ceaseless torture of your life. It was just never-ending, squeezing every drop of happiness out of your system to make sure that you would only live to suffer. You really thought you had your happy ending with someone else? You actually believed you had found the perfect man to be your actual husband? 
Well, unfortunately for you, Toji was not the one. 
At first, your mind flew to Toji as you went on to the trail, allowing the mare to continue trotting as you held the reins to control her. You remembered Toji’s text that morning, asking you for the hundredth time if he could meet with you. He likely wanted to apologize in person, but you doubted he would change his mind and take back the things he said. Because they were true. He could never fill the void left by his deceased wife by being with another empty soul. It was painfully, unmistakably true. You were better off dead if that was the case, because even if you did end up marrying him, you would never be regarded as the person he loved the most. After all, your role in this world seemed to always be the second option. You were never the first in other people’s books. Not with your ex-husband. Not even with your family, especially with Gen around. You were meant to be a bystander, watching others live their perfect lives while you were forced to be in your misery. Someone like Toji would not have a guaranteed blissful marriage with you and you had to spare him from that. You had to draw the line and step back from this charade that you were playing with him, knowing that you were never the right person to be with him, so at some point, you had to accept his drunken words. They came from a place of truth, and that truth would set the both of you free. 
Even it hurt. Even if it fucking hurt to hear his words. You couldn’t deny them. 
You could easily forgive him, but his words might take a while for you to forget because even thinking about it now was bringing a wave of pain into your chest. You didn’t even notice that you were losing control on Willow’s reins by the time you entered further into the woods, bouncing on the saddle as you galloped along the challenging path. With the speed you were riding right now, inexperienced riders would certainly find it unsafe and scary. But for you? It was just what you needed. The breeze of fresh air, the thrill of riding alone, the peaceful sound of nature—you could die there and be at your happiest. 
Maybe that was where you had to be; to disappear and leave them all behind. Wouldn’t that be best for everyone? If you were to vanish, they could finally be free. Your presence, even from the beginning, was a burden for everyone—for your dad, Gen, Satoru, Toji, and even Akemi. The people you trusted the most would be the same people who would secretly celebrate your demise. So, what else was hindering you from taking matters into your own hands and ending it all yourself?
“Giddy up!” 
Was it Sachiro? Definitely. But now he had his father, and he was likely starting to see Akemi as a mother figure as well. Your role as his beloved mama could be easily replaced if you were to leave him now. It wouldn’t hurt him as much that way. Three years with Sachiro seemed sufficient enough, and he was at an age where he could grow up alongside his father. In this short span, he would have lasting memories with you, yet not enough to deeply grieve your absence. He was a young child, surrounded by people who would offer the whole world to him. At least, for that, you were eternally grateful. It brought you comfort knowing that your son would have support after you were gone, and that he would find a mother figure in Akemi. Given the brief time he spent with you and the rest of his life with her as his stepmother, Sachiro would likely come to love and accept Akemi as his own mother. This was the best outcome you could hope for.
My child, my son, my baby… please don’t get mad at mommy. 
Tears were gushing out of your eyes and you hadn’t even realized it until they started blurring your vision. You were far too lost in your own thoughts, unaware that you were now in an unfamiliar and seemingly dangerous part of the trail. The path was getting a little bit too steep and poor Willow was clearly stressed at your inconsiderate handling. There were multiple obstacles on your rocky terrain and you weren’t as steady and controlled as you wanted to be because the horse wasn’t comfortable navigating such a difficult path with the pace you were forcing her to.  
“Ah!” 
Your attempt to balance was interrupted by Willow’s loud neigh, signaling her distress before she bolted into a full rampage. She was sprinting at an estimated speed of 20 miles per hour. Not even a skilled rider like Satoru himself would be cantering that fast on unfamiliar terrain and an unfit horse. But you, you clearly had a death wish, because instead of fearing for your own life, you were far more concerned at the thought of how dreamy Satoru and Akemi’s wedding would look like after your demise. They would definitely make Sachiro their ringbearer. Suguru would be the best man. Shoko, the maid of honor. People on the internet would praise them for being an attractive couple. They would anticipate their beautiful kids together, living in the same mansion he bought as a gift to you. He would kiss her good night, tell her loves her, and offer the whole world to her. They would exchange vows and promise themselves a lifelong commitment to be by each other’s side through sickness and in health, and only in death would they part. 
“Willow!” 
You let out a shriek as the reins slipped from your grasp, causing you to tumble off the saddle and crash onto the ground. The impact was first felt in your elbow, and a sharp, searing pain then radiated through your body. There you lay, sprawled on the dirt, helplessly watching Willow galloping out of control up the mountain, and then tragically plummeting off a cliff.
“Nooo! Willow, no!”
Utter hysteria overtook you. You sobbed uncontrollably, unable to determine which pain was more agonizing—the clearly broken elbow, the loss of the horse you had inadvertently led to its death, or the heart-wrenching reality of Satoru starting a family with someone else.
You were pathetic. You were such a pathetic excuse of a human being and this was why you deserve hell. 
“Willow!” 
Toji couldn’t love you. Your own son didn’t want to be around you. Satoru had gotten over you. And now, you drove a poor innocent horse to its demise because of your recklessness! 
You were crying hysterically as you held your pained elbow, crawling by the cliff’s edge as you screamed for your horse’s name, but in the end, there was nothing you could do. You could only apologize to poor Willow for having such an irresponsible owner, and now she was dead because of you. 16 years of her life, she was able to live in peace until you came and ruined it all for her. It should have been you. You were the one who should have jumped off a cliff. You should atone for your sins and follow her, but you were too weak, far to overcome by the excruciating pain on your hip and your broken elbow to move or do anything at all. 
That was, until your mind had completely shut down, leaving you as a mere body to be discarded alone in the darkness of the woods. You hoped that no one else would find you soon. 
— —
“A-Angina?” Satoru’s eyes went wide. His whole world stopped before him.
“Yes. She was diagnosed with stable angina,” Dr. Mori confirmed, much to your husband’s horror. “But there is another factor that requires her to have more rest. You need to take good care of your wife, Mr. Gojou. Her body needs a lot of nutrients so she can carry safely.”
He could barely process the whole thing in his head because the news kept coming one after another, leaving him in a befuddled state with a flood of unanswered questions running through his mind. “What do you mean…?”
“Your wife is seven weeks pregnant.”
“Y/N?”
“Y/N!”
“Are you out of your mind?!” 
You could barely pry your eyes open, but when you finally managed to, you were met with the concerned expression on Gen’s face. The harsh glare of fluorescent lights and the antiseptic scent confirmed to you that you were in the ER, likely an hour or two after the incident in the woods. The memory of the trail quickly flooded your thoughts, and a pang of sorrow gripped your heart as you recalled Willow's final moments before she fell off the cliff. The poor horse had lost her life, while the one responsible for her tragic death remained alive, save for the bandage wrapped around your arm.
“Why did you ride into the woods alone?” Gen persisted with her barrage of questions, standing by your bed as you attempted to sit up. “Are you suicidal or what? Riding your horse in a dangerous trail like that—”
“You know what, maybe I should have just died back there!” you snapped, wincing from the pain in your elbow. Her choice of words struck a nerve in you. “Maybe I’d prefer that over sitting here, listening to your sanctimonious lecture like you're so perfect yourself! How obnoxious.”
“Then, maybe you shouldn’t be riding so recklessly and causing alarm to everyone else!” 
“Did I literally ask you to come save me?!” 
The atmosphere around you two just became even more uninviting, with discomfiting silence seeping through as you and Gen were engaged in a sharp glaring contest. Your father stood behind her, clearing his throat to cut the tension. 
“That’s enough, Gen.” Your dad placed a hand on her shoulder, and although she wanted to protest, she knew better not to keep stirring the pot after receiving his strict gaze. “Let’s just be thankful your sister is safe. There’s no need to be so overwhelming.” 
You rolled your eyes, drawing in a deep breath before you looked away from them. None of them would ever understand your pain unless they were in your position. They didn’t carry the same baggage as you, so they would never fully comprehend the weight of your suffering. You had already dealt with similar pain on your own before and that was why you didn’t need any of them to come to your aid, meddling with your life like they knew exactly what you were going through. “Just leave me alone, you guys. I wanna rest.”
Since when did your relationship with your sister start to get rough? It wasn’t really like this before, but ever since she started to become too overprotective over you and your choices in life, particularly choices linked to Satoru, Gen had started to become insufferable in your eyes. She was acting too much like a mother; controlling your decisions, lecturing you about your personal relationships, being too involved with your private life. There, ever since that, you started to distance yourself from her, and she didn’t like that. Her stubbornness wouldn’t allow her to cease acting like this mature, picture perfect big sister to you. 
With that said, Gen would have normally gotten annoyed when you asked them to leave you alone, but this time around, she seemed to have reflected on her insensitivity a lot better with your father around. “I’m sorry, okay?” she said, her tone still tinged with stubbornness, “I just got worried. I don’t know what’s gotten into you to put yourself in danger like that, but… please, Y/N. If you’re going through something, you can always speak to us. Dad and I, we’re here for you.” 
To be fair, if you had to put yourself in their shoes, it really would have been alarming to know that your sister almost died. This wasn’t the first time you were at death’s door either, so they were probably scared shitless when they were informed of your situation. Your absolutely reckless situation. You didn’t mean to cause a scene, neither did you intend to bother them on their already busy schedules. You just had so many things in your mind while you were horseback riding, too engulfed by your own sorrow that you didn’t realize the repercussions after the incident had already taken place. 
“I’m sorry, too.” Your voice softened with humility. “I didn’t mean to worry you guys. It was just really an accident.” 
Of course, Gen suspected it was more than just an accident. Your dad did, too. It was obvious on their forlorn faces that they were worried for your mental and emotional well-being, but none of them dared address the elephant in the room. It seemed they didn’t need to, anyway, since one of the many reasons that contributed to your earlier breakdown took a peek from behind the curtains, clearing his throat and sending you a look of sympathy. 
“Y/N?” Toji looked at your father and your sister for approval before stepping further inside your space in the ER. “Can I talk to you?” 
There was no escaping Toji’s presence anymore. No more hiding, no more avoiding. You knew you had to have this talk with him no matter how many times you ignored his flood of texts and calls. While this may have struck as an opportune moment for him to speak to you in person, facing the painful truth of your situation weighed heavily on you. Besides, hadn’t the irony presented itself right there? If Satoru were the one trying to speak to you, even if he was the father of your child, Gen would have been quick to lash out at him. Yet with Toji, even with the general knowledge of what had transpired between you two, your sister still showed no hostility towards him, allowing him to approach you freely and without interference.
But then again, Toji was far from being a cheating, manipulative scumbag who not only caused you suffering but also sought to selfishly acquire your family’s company. Therefore, he wasn’t considered a threat. 
Alright, then. Since Toji genuinely wasn’t a threat to your current emotional state, you agreed to talk with him. It was the first time you had seen the not-so-confident side of Toji Zen’in. He was typically a man of virtue, often holding his chin high, offering the best advice, and having insightful perspectives on life. However, it seemed you had shattered that confidence in him. You could sense his cautiousness around you as he stood by your side in the ER, assisting you with your needs, and eventually agreeing to your request to walk you to the rooftop garden.
“I don’t really think there’s anything else we should talk about.” It was you who first broke the silence, staring at the cityscape while sitting on a wheelchair. The calm breeze allowed your mind to seize the moment with a peaceful mind. “I already heard what you had to say.” 
Toji found it better to kneel down in front of you to meet your eyes as he spoke to you in a sincere and earnest voice. “Y/N, I was drunk when I said all that shit back there. I didn’t mean them. I didn’t mean to hurt you with my callous words, and I feel awful that you had to hear them from me. You trusted me. You sought comfort from me. I wasn’t thinking like a normal person when those things came out of my mouth.” 
“That doesn’t mean they weren’t true,” you replied with quiet resignation. It was the acceptance in your face that seemed to have caused Toji’s heartbroken gaze. “It’s okay, Toji. I think, when you said all those things, it actually made me realize some aspects of our relationship that had to be addressed. It made me more self-aware and it opened my eyes on the bigger picture.” You touched his hand, giving it a comforting squeeze as you mustered the courage to speak your next words. “It’s for the best that we part ways. It’s not fair to me to become a placeholder for your wife the same way it isn’t fair to you to have to deal with my ex-husband always being present in my life. Our unresolved feelings won’t really be resolved by being together.”
“Y/N…” Toji’s voice hinted at his vulnerable emotions, though he restrained himself from showing it fully. And you didn’t miss the apologetic look he had presented to you. “Despite all that, I hope you know that I’d been true to you. I do love you and will always love you. I’ll always be someone you can rely on, someone you can seek comfort from, someone you can turn to when you need help…” 
Damn it. Why did he have to make it sound like an actual break up? Now, it tugged at your heartstrings and hit you in a place it shouldn’t have. You weren’t good at these things and it certainly was your first time dealing with such a mature and mutual separation, but wasn’t that a good thing? No further drama was to happen, leaving a stark comparison to your separation with Satoru. While this one didn’t hurt as much, it still brought a hollow feeling in your chest. 
“Same for me,” you agreed, displaying a weak smile. “You’ll always have a spot in my heart, Toji. I’ll always be grateful that I met you.” 
Sometimes, two people didn’t need to be together to love each other. Friendships could still thrive between ex-lovers, and that was why closure was so important. It not only closed a certain chapter of your life in a healthy way, but also allowed you to heal and open yourselves to a new beginning without any bitterness left behind. 
It shouldn’t be considered bad to remain friends with an ex. It also shouldn’t be bad to give a parting kiss from said ex, right? 
You weren’t the one who initiated it, after all. It was Toji’s hand that gently stroked your cheek. It was him, who leaned forward and pressed his lips onto yours. It wasn’t forceful, but neither was it passionate. It was simply a tender kiss of goodbye, feeling the warmth of each other’s lips for one last time before you two would transition from being lovers to friends. What you didn’t understand from this supposedly bittersweet moment was the faint tears that somehow managed to escape your eyes, perhaps because you knew that once Toji left, you would be alone again. 
You had no one by your side to love you, cherish you, choose you, and offer their entire world for you. You were meant to live this cruel world all by yourself. 
As he pulled away, he pressed his forehead against yours. “Please learn to love yourself before anyone else, Y/N. It’s what you need and what you deserve.” 
That night, while you were getting your MRI, your mind kept flying to the possibilities of a future without having anyone by your side. Any normal person would tell you to focus on loving yourself first, as Toji did recently, focusing on what matters most, and ridding yourself of the toxic things that hinder you from moving forward with your life. Things weren’t as easy as they sounded. Besides, it was different being on the receiving end of the said advice. How could you do those things when the primary cause of your pain was someone whose life would always be linked to yours forever? 
Based on the result of your MRI scans, your doctor recommended that you undergo elbow arthroscopy. It was just a minimally invasive procedure compared to open surgeries, but considering how much of an overthinker your dad was when it came to your health, he insisted on your confinement at the hospital until you had been completely cleared of any other issues. He really placed a big deal on your condition and emphasized to the doctors that they make sure nothing was missed. It could have been worse; you could have had a broken hip or a fractured leg, but at least you only had a dislocated elbow. Nothing that couldn’t be easily corrected by surgery and physical therapy. 
The decision was for you to stay there for two days, and on your first night, a crying Sachiro ran inside your private room because his ‘mama has a boo boo’. Gen said he was picked up from daycare and dropped off at the hospital because the poor kid was looking for you. She didn’t mention who dropped your son off to you, but you could tell it was Satoru. You could sense it by the glances she exchanged with Ian after you asked how Sachiro came to the hospital. 
So, in that case, Satoru must have found out about your little incident and didn’t care enough to see you. Did he not even have an ounce of care anymore? Or was it Gen who stopped him from seeing you? 
“Did you ask him to leave?” you confronted Gen in a mellow voice, rubbing Sachiro’s back as he snuggled into you on the hospital bed. 
Your sister knew exactly which man you were referring to, and she denied having done such. “No, I didn’t even talk to him. He took Sachi here and left.” 
You didn’t know why you looked at Ian to confirm the truth of his wife’s words, but hurt yourself upon seeing his bowed head. It was an apologetic expression that did signify your ex-husband’s blatant act of ignoring you. To hear about your near-death experience and simply leave without even checking on you should be your wake-up call. He didn’t care anymore. No, why should he care? He had Akemi. His only responsibility with you was to be a supportive father to your son. 
Why did the pain in your heart feel far more agonizing than the discomfort on your dislocated elbow?
If anything, you wanted to ask for the strongest anesthetic they could offer to numb your pain. You were desperate to have anything even if they had to put you into an eternal sleep. That would have been much easier to deal with than feeling disregarded by a person you supposedly had moved on from. Satoru did nothing wrong here. It was you who had that expectation, only to disappoint yourself when things didn’t happen as you imagined. 
And just when you thought things would get better as long as you ignore your torturous thoughts, it didn’t help that being in the hospital kept giving you flashbacks of the time you were in this exact room, hearing Satoru crying helplessly from outside and begging for you not to terminate his child. What comes around certainly goes back around. Or worse. 
Such depressive thoughts had you occupied throughout your stay there, and your unusual placidness alarmed the nurses instead of being assured that you were doing well. You heard your doctors telling your father and sister to always keep a close eye on you as the incident may not seem serious, but the trauma would undoubtedly be present somewhere and somehow. Were they aware? Of your intrusive thoughts of wanting to hurt yourself? 
The elbow arthroscopy was successful and by the second day, you were free to go home. You were placed on certain medications to help with the swelling and the pain, and while you were walking around the hospital with a listless mind, you happened to pass by the Obstetrics and Gynecology Department. What a deja vu it was, remembering the time you had seen Satoru there waiting outside for Sera. Back then, it was one of the climactic events in your life that led to a domino effect on the downfall of your marriage. Not that you were reminiscing, but it did remind you that Shoko was probably there in her consultation room and it would be nice to talk to a friend who had witnessed the wild history of your marriage. 
You asked Gen to wait for you in the car while you headed to Ieiri’s consultation room, assuring your visibly worried sister that everything was fine and that you wouldn’t take too long. You had to give Gen some slack, because despite the strains in your relationship as sisters, she was still always there for you. At the end of the day, she was family. 
Shoko, on the other hand, was the next closest thing you had for a sister. She welcomed you inside her room in a very worried embrace, telling you that if she had known about the incident, she would have gone straight to your hospital room on your first day, but you told her not to worry about it and understood that being in the medical field already had her schedule tight. 
“Well, I guess it’s perfect that you’re here, too.” Shoko smiled warmly, sitting behind her desk. She had exciting news to offer, it seemed. “I just wanna say that… of course, I’ll still be sending you a formal invitation and everything. I actually have a few gifts along with it.” 
You shared her enthusiasm. “Hmm… is it what I think it is?” 
The wedding. The most eventful day of her life would be arriving soon and you were the first one to hear it. 
“Yes!” she answered, with the utmost joy coruscating from her eyes. “I want you to be my maid-of-honor, Y/N. I’d be extremely happy if you could make it. I know you just got into an accident, but it won’t be until two months, so—”
“Hey, it’s okay.” You eased her worries by chuckling. “I’m completely fine, of course I’ll be there. I can’t miss it.” 
Shoko was grateful to hear your answer, relieved even, because by asking you to be her maid-of-honor, you should already understand who Suguru’s best man would be. That was a touchy subject for you and she was keenly aware of it, but you didn’t want her to worry. You didn’t want your relationship with your ex-husband to have a negative impact on the relationship of all the other people surrounding the both of you. It was already bad enough that Shoko and Suguru almost called off their engagement after they fought over their morals as you and Satoru’s friends, and you were glad that they somehow made things work. They somehow set aside their disagreements and ultimately chose their love over anything else. 
Their love was beautiful, and while that wasn’t something you could easily have, it was something you deeply admired. 
“Where are you guys planning to hold your wedding?” you asked, steering the conversation away from any mention of your ex-husband. “Here or overseas?” 
She delighted you with her answer, sounding as if this was the perfect wedding she had always dreamed of. “It’s an intimate wedding on the lakeside. Suguru chose the location, actually, since he wanted our wedding to have the view of Mount Fuji.” 
“That’s perfect,” you said with wide eyes. “Lake Kawaguchiko?” 
“Yep. That’s exactly where it’d be.” She smiled with her eyes. “You know this resort… Hoshinoya Fuji? We already booked the place, and we have a luxury cabin for friends and families to stay at.” 
You had been there before, but you were too young to remember. All you knew was that it was a high-end resort that had the best panoramic views of Lake Kawaguchiko and Mount Fuji. The hotel owner was also a close friend of the Gojou family, so that was probably why they were able to rent the entire place for the wedding, especially at a peak season for tourists. 
Since the fall season was arriving, you could only imagine the stunning views of the autumn foliage there. It offered the perfect weather, too. It wouldn’t be as hot as summer, nor as freezing as winter. Surely, it would be nice to do some nature walks and stargazing, maybe ride a boat or bathe in a hot spring. You looked forward to it, except for the fact that your ex-husband would also be there. 
And just what a perfect timing it was, because as Shoko sorted through her patients' medical records above her desk, a file slipped from the pile, revealing the name of your very friend, Akemi. 
“Oh,” Shoko murmured apologetically as she retrieved the record, not wanting to ruin the mood of your conversation. “She, uh, came by a few days ago... with Gojou.”
You didn’t need to ask. You didn’t need to hear any further detail. Akemi’s visit likely revolved around her desire to conceive, as she wouldn’t have visited Shoko otherwise. Why? If it were simply to monitor her polycystic ovary, why did she choose Shoko instead of her own gynecologist? Thinking of how your ex-husband and best friend were attempting to start a family together left your heart shattered in unimaginable pieces, stirring up painful memories of your pathetic marriage with Satoru and reopening old wounds you thought had already healed from. Wasn’t it ironic that a couple of years ago, you were crying over the same situation with Sera? 
You couldn’t stand this feeling anymore. You thought you had already freed yourself from the pain of loving him, yet here you were suffering from the same heartbreak over and over and over again. Tears threatened to spill, but you held them back, the ache in your chest too raw to confront just yet. 
“It’s funny.” Although you displayed an outward smile, the sadness in your voice reflected your otherwise inward thoughts. You didn’t know why you said that. You were just too… too emotional. Almost like you couldn’t breathe. “He was never this passionate with me. They seem so in love.” 
Ieiri’s eyes carried sisterly concern in them. “Y/N, it’s not really what you think.” 
Was it? You weren’t sure what to feel anymore. You certainly weren't there to hear it anymore, either. Satoru chose her, just like what you wanted for him to do. Just like what you asked him to do. He had moved on, he had found someone who would love him for who he was, he had chosen the woman he would share the rest of his future with. Call yourself ridiculous for even feeling hurt about it, because you had no right to be and you definitely chose this. Either you own up to it, or you cry about it for the rest of your life. 
Both choices had no happy endings. 
— —
When Satoru learned about your incident in the woods, he thought he was going to lose his mind. 
Was it out of love that he swiftly left the office in the middle of a meeting just to get to where you were? 
He still had to pick up Sachiro from daycare, and he felt bad telling his son on the way to the hospital that his mother was hurt. It actually gave Satoru a hard time explaining to the 3-year old that they had to go to the hospital because his mommy was there and that she had an unfortunate encounter while riding a horse. 
“Dada, is… is mama okay?” Sachiro pouted with wide, tearful eyes as he clung to his father’s hand. “Sachi wants to go to mama!” 
“She’ll be okay, Sachi.” Gojou carried his son and soothed him as they went inside the hospital, searching for you. “Mommy’s strong, remember?” 
Was it out of love that he wanted to be the person that brought your son to you when you most needed him? 
According to the nurse, your room was on the seventh floor, but when he got there, your room was empty. It was Ian who told him that you went up the rooftop garden to get some fresh air, insisting that if Satoru wanted to go and talk to you, that it was best to leave Sachiro with them. 
And so he did. He ran hastily, almost out of breath, until he reached the rooftop, scanning every face within the vicinity until his tired blue eyes finally landed on you. 
Satoru laughed in disbelief. He scoffed bitterly, with each breath full of disgust. The tips of his fingers felt cold, while his breathing grew thin and ragged. He could feel his stomach clenching at the humiliation of seeing you engaged in an intimate make-out session with Toji Zen’in. 
How sickeningly sweet. 
At that point, he was laughing at his own expense, ignoring the elderly lady who looked at him like he was a crazy person. He stood there frozen for a few minutes, watching you kiss another man before it finally woke him up from reality. 
It was out of love that he let you go. 
You see? This was where his attachment to you would lead him. It was pure and unreasonable selfishness, but he would gain nothing at all from even seeing you. He didn’t need to care for you at all, no. You had Toji. You seemed to be goddamn happy with your life with Toji. And what a romantic fucking moment that was, too. 
Satoru couldn’t think straight when he hurriedly left the hospital and got inside his car. He desperately wanted to forget the painful image of you locking lips with somebody else. How? How would he? Fuck! He was mad, mad at himself for choosing to come to your aid like he still had any role in your life. He was disgusted at himself for ignoring Akemi’s calls after promising her a movie date after work. He couldn’t believe he had her waiting all by herself in that cinema, waiting for him to come while he was stupidly running around the hospital to see his ex-wife. 
You chose Toji, then you better be happy. Satoru hoped you were happy, and that wish came from a place of genuineness. He genuinely hoped the best for you. Because for him, it was time to fully let go and stop himself from trying to be the superhero whenever you were in danger. You weren’t his wife anymore. 
So, was it out of love that he headed straight to Akemi’s apartment that night with a bouquet of red roses? 
She didn’t know what happened nor was she given the full detail as to why he unintentionally stood her up on their date night. He had just briefly explained that he had to drop Sachiro off to you at a hospital because you got into a small accident. Akemi, being your friend, got immediately worried upon hearing the situation and asked if Satoru was able to check on you. 
He said no. He said Toji was there. He said he left as soon as dropped Sachiro off. 
And in an effort to apologize for not paying attention to the current woman in his life, Satoru pulled Akemi in a tight embrace. He held her in her arms, drunk from the sweet and citrusy notes of her perfume, before pulling away to kiss her. He kissed her with the same passion as you did with Toji. Perhaps even more, even better. He completely devoured her lips, with a hand on her cheek and the other on her waist. The taste of her tongue was sweet like strawberries, while her lips were red like cherries. 
This woman was all he needed. 
But was this love? He didn’t know. It was too soon to tell, too early to answer, too hasty to even consider. 
— —
The current situation you were in reminded you of your younger self after your mother had died. It was the same before; you never left the house, often locking yourself in your room, shutting yourself off from the world, and drowning yourself with the pain and loneliness of losing somebody important. 
Sure, no one really died for you to be acting this way right now, but the feeling was still the same. Was this really a comeuppance to all of your wrongdoings before? But just how terrible were you of a person to be hit by this unbelievable truckload of sorrow? You might as well spur on the physical pains of your angina again if this torment continued. Otherwise, how else do you avoid it? 
You were being a terrible mother, too. You were too engrossed by your own misery that you couldn’t even properly take care of Sachiro. He didn’t deserve to have an incompetent and irresponsible mother like you. He deserves someone better, someone like Akemi, who not only has all the motherly traits a woman should have, but also the physical and mental capacity of being a true, strong woman. 
Sachiro was bound to have that, anyway. Now that his father was planning his lifelong journey with another woman, and now that he was trying to build a happy family with her, you were no longer needed in the picture. There was no need for you. 
How many more times would you tell that you have accepted it? 
Because, god be damned, you knew you couldn’t. You knew you were lying to yourself when you said everything was fine, lying to Satoru when you told him you didn’t need him in your life anymore, lying to Toji for telling him that you wanted to marry him, lying to Akemi that you didn’t care if she was seeing your ex-husband, and lying to Sachiro when you promised to him that you would never leave his side. You were a liar. A terrible liar. A pitiful, terrible liar. 
How would you tell the universe that you couldn’t take it anymore? That, for once, you wanted to be showered by happiness and all the good things in life? 
Sera was right. Not everyone could have it all. There were people of lesser fortune who weren’t blessed to live a lavish life like you, yet still work hard to achieve what they want. Why couldn't you achieve your own happiness without blaming it on the universe? If this was simply a lesson, then weren’t you the top student at this rate? 
God. God, help me. You really didn’t know how to deal with this life anymore. You weren’t sure how to proceed. You couldn’t rely on anything other than the bottle of alcohol on your hand—what was once full was now half empty after you took another swig. This was your second bottle already, wasn’t it? Or third? 
You got up from the floor and failed to walk in a straight line as you made your way towards the balcony. Your steps were unsteady, wavering like a leaf caught in a gentle breeze. With each attempt to move forward, your body swayed from side to side, struggling to maintain balance. You almost lost grip of the bottle you were holding. No, it did, in fact, slip from your hand and ended up crashing into the floor. Shards of glass lay across the ground, ready to pierce the soles of your feet to mirror the same physical pain your heart was experiencing. 
“Stop,” you muttered under your breath, begging for your chest to stop hurting. But it only worsened, and your antidote to that was to wash it down with even more liquor. No matter how expensive it was, you didn’t even like the taste of alcohol. You hated the sting on your throat whenever you drank it. You despised the bitterness it left on your tongue. However, it did great at numbing your emotions. 
It just felt wrong in many ways that you were seeing Satoru’s face whenever you closed your eyes. You could see his smile, his loving eyes, his beautiful lips. You missed his embrace, his kiss, his touch. You missed hearing his I love you’s. Him. You missed him. You yearned for him. Three goddamn years, and you were still undeniably in love with him. 
“Satoru…” you cried, sitting on the floor. Each breath made it harder and harder for you to catch as tears continued to stream down your face. You were tired of pretending, denying that you no longer had feelings for him when you knew deep down that you would always choose him. “S-Satoru… come back to me, please.”
Was it him coming inside your room? Or was it your vision making a fool out of you? 
“Baby, what are you doing?” Satoru’s expression was engulfed in immense worry as he knelt down and reached out to you, touching your cheek and looking at your eyes somberly. “Don’t do this yourself, Y/N.” 
Your head hung low, your gaze unfocused and glazed, as you fought to keep your eyes on the path ahead. You had to reach him. You wanted to touch him, hug him. And despite your best efforts, your movements were disjointed and erratic, betraying the effects of the alcohol coursing through your veins.
“Y/N, that’s enough.” Gen had to use force just to be able to snatch the bottle away from you, forcing you to wake up to the reality where Satoru no longer existed to be there for you. It was her who came rushing inside your room in the middle of the night. The bottle of liquor was now spilled all over the floor. The same could be described with your emotions. “Get it together. You haven’t been acting like yourself lately!”
You couldn’t, even if you wanted to. You were in delirium after having dealt with all the terrible things the world had thrown at you. If you couldn’t drown yourself in alcohol, how else would you have been able to numb the pain? How else would you have been able to… forget? 
As much as your sister tried to hide the obvious sympathy in her voice, even your drunken mind could recognize it. “We all know you’re going down the depression lane again, but never to this extent.” Her voice cracked in the middle of her sentence, cradling you into her arms as a tear fell down her face. The Gen who would usually lecture you, was now holding you in her arms as her only baby sister. “Stop this, Y/N, please. Don’t ruin your life the second time. I-It’s hurting me. It’s hurting Dad. Do you… do you realize what Sachiro’s gonna think of you when he sees you like this?” 
“Gen…” Muffled sobs unwillingly came out of you, leaving you with such excruciating pain in the chest, so much so that it didn’t even feel like you had done surgery to fix your (quite literally) broken heart.  “I w-want him back,” you continued to cry, “I want my husband back. I want to be with h-him, Gen.” 
“Y/N.”
“Where’s S-Satoru…? D-Did he leave? Please take me to him—”
“Y/N, listen to me.” She gently cupped your cheeks, forcing you to look at her pained eyes. “You’re intoxicated. He was never here, and he’d never come for you. You have to let it go.” 
“But—”
“He’s not good for you. He never will be.”
— —
It had been two weeks since Satoru last heard about you. Miwa was the one who updated him that you had already returned to your family’s mansion, letting him know that you were okay and that you were recovering well. Frankly, Satoru was starting to get annoyed at the fact that his secretary was still giving him updates about you. What did he care? He wasn’t your husband anymore. 
Besides, Toji was probably visiting you every day, so why did he have to worry about you? If there was anyone he should be worried about, it was Akemi. She had been experiencing terrible pelvic cramps lately, which needed to be given serious attention, but you would never see her being dramatic about it. The only thing she needed was for Gojou to accompany her visits to the OB-GYN, and even then, she never showered herself in self-pity. She carried herself like an independent woman, and that was exactly what Satoru needed in his life right now. 
He had a son to raise. He had a company to run. It wasn’t the perfect time to commit himself to someone lawfully. Heck, he didn’t even believe in marriage anymore. He realized that two people could still love each other without getting married. As long as Akemi didn’t pressure him about such things, he was fine with having her around. She didn’t ask for anything much, anyway. 
As for you, well… 
“What are you planning with that mansion you gifted Y/N?” asked Nanami, seated on the couch inside Satoru’s office, casually reading a newspaper. “Do you even remember that?” 
He certainly did. “What about it?” he questioned, idly toying with a pen on his desk. “It’s her property now. She can sell it if she wants.”
Better yet, you should let Sachiro inherit the property someday. His son was already set for a life of privilege having wealthy parents on both sides, but wouldn’t the mansion be a substantial addition to his assets in the future? Satoru couldn’t help but envision the kind of man his son would grow up into. He hoped Sachiro would not inherit his father's immaturity and pettiness but would embody the kindness and altruism of his mother. From a business perspective, however, Satoru planned to groom his son to be a leader, as he was the sole heir to the Gojou Group. Additionally, he would also inherit half of Creston and the entirety of Hearte. No wonder Sachiro was recently listed as the wealthiest kid by Forbes Japan. He even beat Megumi Zen’in from the list even though the teenager was the heir of the Zen’in business empire. 
These were the thoughts that should consume Satoru—the future, not the past. His kid, not you. And he was right about doing so, because when he came home to his penthouse, he was told that he had a visitor. 
A visitor on a Wednesday afternoon? 
Your brother-in-law, the esteemed prosecutor who sent his evil stepmother to jail, appeared on his front door, carrying Sachiro in his arms. It was hard to tell what type of emotions were visible on the man’s face, but he definitely didn’t bring any good news. 
“Ian?” Satoru promptly made way for the man to come in, ushering him into the penthouse and allowing him to set Sachiro down. The young boy was quick to dart off to his playroom, leaving the two men in an uncomfortable silence. “What’s going on? Weekends are usually my schedule with Sachi.” 
Ian cleared his throat, a hand on his pocket. “Do you mind looking after Sachiro for the time being?” 
By saying ‘for the time being’, it seemed like Ian wanted to actually say ‘until further notice.’ But that confused Satoru even more, because what was happening for the man to come here and ask him to let Sachiro stay beyond the agreed schedule with his father? He couldn’t read through Ian’s expression and it was making him uneasy. 
“I can, but… why so suddenly?” Gojou asked, glancing at his oblivious son. 
“It’s Y/N’s idea, Gen doesn’t know about it.” Ian released an awkward chuckle. “You know how my wife is.” 
Gen would absolutely hate it, Satoru was aware for sure. Though the questions lingered in his mind. “Why would Y/N want Sachi to stay with me? Where’s she?” 
Was it him or was Ian having a hard time explaining the situation? It felt like he was walking on eggshells, deciding between what had to be said and what shouldn’t. He was careful with his words when he spoke again, “Y/N flew to Monaco this morning and will be back when she’s ready. She says Sachiro should spend all of his time with you while she’s gone.” 
Monaco? Why would you be there?
Confusion bathed Satoru’s eyes. “Is it for a fashion event or something?” 
“No, she’s just…” Ian struggled heavily. “Well, to sum it up, she has to go there to sort some things out. It’s a personal thing, but she really needs this time for herself and we think it’s the best for her right now. I don’t know how long she’s gonna stay there or when she’ll be back, but I hope you understand what I’m trying to say here.”
No, he didn’t. Satoru found it difficult to fathom his ex-brother-in-law’s words, seeing as he had no general idea of what was truly going on. But if you were flying to Monaco, surely Toji wouldn’t allow you to go there all by yourself? 
Ahh. It made sense now. I see what’s happening here. 
Satoru’s lips curled into sarcasm. You would be vacationing with the love of your life. Is that what it was? Planning your halted wedding? Choosing wedding gowns? Looking for venues? There was no way you would be flying to Monaco alone, especially without Sachiro around when you two had been inseparable since his birth. 
“What kinda mother is she?” Satoru muttered in disgust, unaware that Ian had overheard him. But Ian had heard loud and clear. How could you leave your son behind like this? Couldn’t you face your ex-husband to discuss it, instead of just dropping Sachiro off as if he were some unwanted toy?
“Hold it right there,” Ian interjected, becoming defensive at the accusation. “You have no idea what she’s going through.”
How would he know? No one was telling him shit. No one was giving him details, so did they expect him to understand things and accept them as they were? Did they do the same thing to Satoru when he was at the verge of losing his sanity asking everyone for forgiveness over and over? 
“I've never taken sides between you two, Satoru, you know that,” Ian continued, trying to maintain a calm demeanor and speak with clear judgment, “But one thing I’m not gonna let you do is call Y/N a bad mother.”
Satoru’s chest tightened at Ian's words, a mixture of guilt and frustration bubbling up inside him. He knew he shouldn’t have spoken out of turn, but the pain and resentment were too raw to contain. It felt like you were abandoning him and your child, like you were off to a new chapter in your life again, and leaving everything behind. Perhaps this was his trauma from the New York thing crawling back at him, but it definitely reminded him of the day you had abandoned him. For three fucking years. How long would it take you to return now? 
Why do you keep doing this? He was sick of it. You kept running away instead of talking to him. He gets it, people change, circumstances change, but couldn’t you at least have the decency to talk to him about it? Was it wrong for him to wish you’d handled this differently? To wish that you’d talked to him, involved him in the decision-making process, instead of just making this unilateral decision and leaving him to pick up the pieces? 
Satoru took a moment, collecting his thoughts before continuing. “It’s fine, I’ll take care of Sachi,” he reassured, “I’ll take some time off work and have ‘Kemi help me out.” 
He looked back at Ian, his eyes pleading for further details, for answers, for some semblance of clarity in the midst of this emotional turmoil.
Yet none of it was given. 
And so, would it still be wrong to assume that he could now completely forget about you? That this opportunity to be with Sachiro would allow him a chance to share it with someone else? If you spent three years of your life playing house in New York with Toji, would it still be unfair for Satoru to do the same with Akemi? 
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fictionalslvr · 5 months
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SYNOPSIS: Leon is the most devoted young man you know, and what you always wanted, is to ruin ruin, turn him into a complete sinful mess. And finally, you got that.
PAIRING: Churchboy¡Leon x implied F!reader
WORD COUNT: 3.110k
WARNINGS: CORRUPTION KINK MAJOR! Religious themes!! Sub and whiny¡Leon. Handjob. Descriptions of male anatomy. On the church.
NOTES: After weeks, getting sick and everything, the part two is finally here! This work can be read alone, but there is a part one if you want to see. This was only possible due to the dear @navstuffs! She helped me a lot and she deserves all the thanks for this, thank you Nav!
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At the beginning of the world, it was only good things. The literal Eden Garden at dispose, offering just the best of the fruits, the nature in contact with the skin, everything was pure. Until it wasn’t anymore. Leon always thought about how perfect the life could be before the sin, before the luxury of the human beings, in fact, his mind was driven into those thoughts, not fully understanding what could made Eve tempt and change the whole world to the way he know now, he did not understood how she could replace a life of trust, love and literal heaven, in trade with what? A miserable life forever. Maybe it was the idea of being forbidden that got her so allured. The rule was simple, not to eat the apple, and was that’s what got her so ecstatic, Eve could have everything around her, but that fruit was calling her, whispering her name in the most blissful winds ever created, the alluring idea of something being restricted by God himself, called her up on her mind. What could be so different about that fruit? Why was she so special that even God didn’t want to let them have contact with her?
Leon couldn’t understand the meaning behind that forbidden fruit, for him, it was just an easy task to follow his creator's order. Anyway, he didn’t want to face his choleric state, nor to lose all his privileges after creation as the first God miracle, the man. That is until, you appeared on his mind, occupying the only space being used to drive him withered.
Soon, the fruit was replaced, not just a simple apple anymore, but you. You, and that voluptuous body, cute giggle and face builded by an angel, he could appreciate you for hours, if this wasn’t wrong, he didn’t want to be sinful. But just as Eve, your mischievous smile and alluring voice called for him, whispering his name in the depth of the world to keep him distracted from his initial objective, which was to serve his God, you were the luxury itself, right in front of him. There was no apple, just you, that deep into your mind, craved for Leon, and he, just wanted a bite of that pleasure, for being a sinful human as the others too, to see why humans fail so much, you were the perfect representation of a sin to him, the kind of woman that makes him fall on his knees and ask for his forgiveness, that wasn’t his normal state, it can’t be. Leon never saw himself so deprived, so perverted and sick like that.
From days now, you’ll be haunting his mind with unholy thoughts. Leon was in a dangerous line because of you, either ready to fall directly into a painful post life, with no way back, right into the hell for being such a pervert for you, or, resisting to the forbidden fruit and achieving a life of miracles to the end. Poor young man would wake up with a flustered rosy face, sweaty forehead, heavy breathing and surroundings still confused. He could swear you were in his dream, not in a good way at all. He would jump off of the bed, getting on his knees to the floor, hands gripping in each other to make it up for his sinful thoughts, mumbling his sorrows and asking for God help to “return him to his normal”, which never changed, he was always there, waiting patiently to give in and taste the sweet melody of the intimacy between such a thing as sex, but that was restricted due to the fear of a miserable hell. Leon felt filthy, the most dirty man walking on Earth, wearing an catholic third around his neck, gripping into it as his life depends of that, mumbling the God name as he could felt that weird sensation next to his crotch growing more and more painful, he didn’t knew what that is, but it hurt, it felt wrong. Plastered tears glued on his cheeks, he felt so false, so wrong and yet, so good.
“Oh my Jesus, forgive us for our sins. Save us from the fires of hell. Lead all souls into heaven, especially those in the most need of your mercy. Amen.” The words felt so blank, so empty and for the first time, Leon felt like there was no salvation in his actions.
He’s sure that God is looking down at him, thinking that his child is lost, already too wrapped by the Devil’s hands. He would be laughing at him, seeing how pathetic he is, the image he once had for his religion is ruined. He is ruined. Slowly becoming the nasty sinner in his own eyes, there’s nothing that could save him anymore. With his mind slowly descending, he knew that you were the cause of this, you were his luxury, his apple and he was Eve in a kind of way, now, he understand her, he gets that feeling, that he want to have a taste of something forbidden, to know what life truly feels like.
Even though he’s becoming a sinner, his heavy footsteps were echoing through the hallways, the devil himself walking into the church to play pretend with his subordinates sinners, he had a head towards the ground, ashamed for his thoughts, not wanting to face the consequences for that. With another preaching coming closer, he was ready to watch it, with his conscience heavy and heartbeat unusual. But a half closed door got his attention, the before innocent eyes widened as he was more curious than ever before, peeking through the door, what Leon found got his knees weak.
He remembered when he was young, he looked deeply into the priest eyes and did an promise, “not to fall in temptation”, he knew all the words correctly, the way his eyes lit up in that powerful presence of God, how he felt protected from all the dangers of the world for a fraction of second. But the danger is not carrying a weapon, the danger it’s the damn weapon, disguised as a woman, you. Under the dim light of the room, your soft silk dress slowly falling from your shoulders, he could swear your skin glistened with the sun, like you’re shining. The texture of your skin must be the most perfect skin to touch in his mind, it seems so delicate and smooth, not to mention the sweet scent of your body, the natural scent is enough to drive into the most unhinged person ever. Leon was flabbergasted, his jaw open as he almost drooled over the sight, he knows he shouldn’t be watching you change to the preaching, nor even be desiring you like a dog in heat in search for an mate, a gasp escape from his throat, forcing him to put his hands on top of his mouth to shut him off. A faint sound could be heard by you, the creaky floor behind the half open door, plus, a very low gasp being muffled. With only your white bustier and suspender belt, your head turned towards the door, and you saw a dirty blond hair swung in the air, hiding behind it, and that made you bite your cheeks from inside, holding a giggle, you could recognize him anywhere, silly Leon.
Acknowledged of his presence, you decided to put on a show for him. Playing with the straps of your bustier, letting it loose on your shoulders to show him what he’s losing. At this point, you couldn’t imagine you caught him sneaking on you changing, something might've changed on that angel to turn him into that. The teasing only proved your point, you could hear the tender sound of his desperate voice he sounded like a puppy whining, incapable to hold the instincts of seeing something so attractive for the first time, hands squeezed together and eyes in awe as he let out faint heavy breaths.
—”Come here, Leon.” He felt dizzy immediately. You saw him, you caught him red handed while spying you.
Looking like an abandoned dog, eyes on the floor, hands behind his back and short footsteps, he got inside, closing the door with your instruction. He couldn’t look at you, how could he look at you while you wear something so profane as this outfit you’re wearing right now? But he was already looking anyway, this wouldn’t make any difference, he just likes to pretend he was not doing something so wrong like that. Not the innocent Leon, he couldn’t commit his first sin with you, no way.
—”You know that spying is not a good thing, right?” Your feet on the ground made a stomp sound, indicating you were getting closer to him.
With his eyes hidden by his bangs, this was a bad situation that he chose to be into. He bit his lower lip, a wave of guilt all over his body and made him feel even more weaker. Leon nodded with his head, not even able to whisper a single word for you, just to show how embarrassed he is. The embarrassment was not only because he got caught, but of what his image will turn after this, what you will do to him. Your hot aura was invading his space and making him nervous, so much that he trembled like a leaf.
—”I asked you a question.” Your tone got a bit more stern, and you heard Leon suck a sob in between his little crooked teeths. You loved how he was not perfect at all, he was not going to stay forever innocent, you knew that, but you wanted to be the reason behind that. Leon is a grown man, he can make decisions for himself and answer a simple question.
—”Y-Yes! I…I know.”
Pressing him against the closet cabinet, he let out a gasp escape again. Your hands were behind him, dangerously close to touching his body in a way never before. Leon eyes dragged to yours, locking to see that flame in your pupils that he feared to face for so long.
—”You look so desperate, like you never saw a body before.”
—”I-I…never…” The words slipped out from his tongue, he didn’t have any control on his actions nor words at the moment, he was only listening to you and watching you. Your ferocious desire was filling his senses too, tormenting his poor mind. You only chuckled from his words gently, but he felt offended.
He must look so pathetic close to you, you must have plenty of experience and he…he had never seen his own body before, for him, it was wrong to see his own body, he believed that this would make him some kind of sinner. But seeing you, so alluring and bashing your eyelashes so innocently like a doll.
—”Haven't you ever seen a naked body before?”
The silence was his answer, he looked away bashfully, scared to admit the truth. Scared to look silly in front of you, to make a fool of himself. The look on his face said everything, and by the way he’s fidgeting his fingers anxiously, you didn’t need a proper answer. You understood, pressing your almost bare body against his just to hear him gulp audible, the thing was, you could feel a pent up dick hitting your inner thigh, he was so hard from just seeing your body this way, you wonder how he could be so sensitive this way. Just getting closer, made his whole face flushed.
—”You’re so hard already, Leon.” You snickered, looking down to watch his cock stir on his pants, underneath your skin. His eyes were wide open, he looked down with you, confused, tilting his head to the side like a puppy.
—”Hard? Is this what is hurting me?”
—”Hurting you? I’m guessing you never touched your body before to not know this is a boner.” Leon bit his lips again, this time humming in desperation and his hands were supported on the cabinet behind him.
—”Explain to me, please.”
You were surprised. He never really touched himself before? That would be even better than you thought. With a tender sigh, your hands hovered over his chest, slowlying pestering all the way down to his hips.
—”It’s hard to explain, but I can help you to get rid of the…pain, as you say.”
His eyes lit up, Leon whimpered at the touch of your hands on him, the first touch like this on his, the very first one, is yours. Just like you did in his dreams, but you were like a devil cornering him, wrapping him in your claws. At the feel of his cock twitching in his pants, he needed to get rid of that sensation, it was weird, so he nodded at your offer, agreeing to being ruined forever.
The next thing Leon knew, is that he was embraced by you fully this time. His rear resting on the low closet cabinet, his hands were roaming over your tender shoulders, searching for any support not to fall on his knees in front of you. Leon was ruined, there was no turning back from now on, not when his throat let the most obscene sounds your ears could be graced with, whiny soft pants making him look pathetic and adorable at the same time, the mix of feelings messing up with his mind and turning him into this. The way your hands were exploring his body so indecently for the first time is awkward, and yet, brings him to the edge of a just discovered emotion.
Your hands felt all over his body, exploring every inch as that was your last chance to show him the sin you could be. In fact, that could be a one lifetime opportunity, and you needed to get him addicted to make sure he would crawl back to you, begging for more of that thing only you can bring him to. With the way you looked, your eyes felt sore, like you just saw a golden flash in them so abruptly, that was, seeing Leon's dick for the first time. It was…cute, but desirable, that's for sure. The reddened tip looked untouched as the rest of his body, he was not thick, but he was considerably lengthy, you felt the urge to kiss it, tuck him inside your mouth, push him to the back of your throat and send him to heaven early as he wanted, but not in a glorious way. Leon couldn't even look into your face anymore, everything was blurry, but every single touch got him shivering, anyway, he agreed to that, and regret is not a word that could describe how he was right now. Deciding to have some pity on the man and take things slow to be just a bit passionate once, your hands pestered all the way down to finally touch his cock, watching as it stirred into your hands so adorably.
Leon's whimpers were everything you could ask for, he hid his face on the crook of your neck, nibbling your skin ever so gracefully to try to shut him, but he was loud, VERY loud. It was his first time being touched, you couldn't blame him. You started to touch his length, going up and down as you felt his hips jerking forward into you, showing that he wanted (needed) more. Turning your hands into a cupping one, you started to masturbate him at your own pace, taking his time as you heard his reactions, if you got quicker, he could get so much louder than before.
—”You don't want the whole church to hear us now, do you?” Your voice didn't need to get loud for him to listen, the distance was enough for a whisper in his ear that made him moan.
He knew it was wrong, and that anyone could hear him moaning like a bitch in heat for you, but he couldn't care less now. He had lost his innocence and faith, there's nothing else to lose. And yet, he kept his tone loud, he couldn't lower them in any way, everything felt so overstimulating that he felt like he was going to explode at any time.
Leon was trembling in your arms, you could see how he was holding onto you, crying, mumbling something incoherent as the same time your shoulders felt wet. A mixture of tears and saliva that escaped from his inside cheeks. You kept teasing him, some times, pressing his tip until you heard him whining and his trimmed nails pressed against you, marking you so slightly it wouldn't last long. His legs were wide open for you, and yet, he was almost closing them, if it wasn't for your body in the middle of them, the proximity allowed your breath to hit on his face, and you, to see his godly constructed face contorted in pleasure for you, everything you asked for.
Since he was a beginner at this kind of situation, he wouldn't last long, you knew that. Just a few pumps were enough to drive him crazy. As soon as his arms involved your back, his teeths into your shoulders and his moans got even more whiny (which you didn't think was possible), you knew he was close to cummming. Leon's hands tapped your back, he was mumbling and mumbling something non stop, and it took you a few seconds to understand
—”W-What….what is this?! I feel like…I'm…going to burst! Please!” His pleas were adorable, he didn't know what was coming, but he was begging for it.
—”It's completely normal, Leon…”
You soothed him, a gentle moment that kept you moving around his overwhelmed dick until he was fumbling and hyperventilating, he was a mess of heavy breaths, whimpers, grunts and every sound possible he could muster at the moment.
It didn't take long to see Leon's soul escaping from his body. His eyes were as wide as possible, the blue orb in the middle almost submerged on that white ocean of his eyes. Leon gripped into you, his legs failing for the first time, his toes curling up together and his head thrown back as he moaned in a strangle of breath. That's until the long ropes of cum made contact with your hands, escaping to drip on the cabinet wood underneath him. Took him long enough to stop seeing stars, his eyes drizzled off to somewhere distant until he could finally look into yours, to see your big grin and blush like a silly.
—”I…is it wrong to…ask for more?”
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yunjardi · 6 months
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my heart bel♡ngs to daddy [series]
[young sugar daddy!jake × fem!reader]
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[click here for this series' masterlist to read previous chapters, general warnings, and playlist]
[!!chapter warnings!!: smut [mdni], DADDY KINK, unprotected sex, fingering, handjob, oral, gentle sex, cockwarming, angst, crying, arguing, minor possessiveness (???), mentions of negative body image near the end, some fluff, lmk if i missed anything!]
*sorry for any grammar errors
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-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-
chapter 16: the ugly truth?
"y/n, please, i really do love you," jake begged you breathlessly, "you're seriously such a big part of my life. what would i ever do without a friend like you?"
a friend.
a friend.
friends.
that's what you and jake are, huh?
the bubbly and shocked feeling that took over your body after hearing jake tell you that he loves you quickly fizzled away once jake uttered that 6 letter word.
that stupid 6 letter word.
how were you even supposed to react to this?
well, you reacted the only way your body would let you.
with anger.
"jake, i need you to do something for me, okay?" jake nodded as you took a deep breath inward before continuing, "once you walk out that door, never come back again. don't bother contacting me either because i don't wanna hear it. friends don't do what we do. you led me on, you asshole. now get out."
"y/n, i meant- i-"
"i said i don't wanna hear it!" you raised your voice, helpless tears falling again, "i-i think it's best if you leave now." your voice softened as tears uncontrollably rolled down your face, causing jake to cry too.
"i'm not going anywhere, y/n," jake declared with a stern tone, "i'm not letting you push me away, not after everything we've been through." you scoffed. "after everything we've been through? you're unbelievable, jake. i'm not gonna fall for your pretty-boy antics anymore, so you can forget about all that."
jake was at a loss for words. he'd never seen you be so cold before, not to him, not to anyone.
"listen, let's both just calm down. i know we're both heated right now, and we shouldn't be arguing when we're mad like this and-"
"will you shut up with your preaching and just go already?!" you yelled out in frustration, wanting nothing more than to crawl into a ball and be left alone. you didn't want to face the man who was actively breaking your heart into tiny little pieces any longer.
"fine," jake gave in, not saying another word and simply walking out of your house.
secretly, you wanted him to keep fighting for you even though it wouldn't make sense if he did.
the millisecond you heard the door shut, you immediately began bawling your eyes out.
you had no idea what was gonna happen next, if anything that is.
all you could do is sob helplessly in the same spot he left you in.
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you made sure to sob your eyes until you could no longer feel tears in your eyes before heading to work with heavier makeup than usual to cover your tear-stained skin.
calling your manager beforehand, you let her know that you were able to work from opening to closing for which she was quite pleased to hear.
you needed to be as distracted as possible so that you wouldn't think of jake's pretty, yet also cute, puppy face, and the way his hair flowed whenever he'd turn to look at you, and also-
damn, you were already failing your mission miserably.
you managed to pull yourself together on the bus ride to work and walk into the bar without any trouble.
lucky for you, the bar extra was packed this evening which meant you'd be too busy running around to think about anything besides alcohol and more alcohol.
there was no room to think about how much you missed jake's presence, how much you wanted him to kiss you and tell you that everything was going to be okay, and you definitely weren't thinking about how much you missed the way his scent blinded you whenever he pulled you into an embrace.
it seemed nothing else could gain control over your clouded mind the way jake does. the way that only he could possibly do.
you were so distracted by faded thoughts of him that you nearly spilled drinks multiple times during your shift and nearly dropped a crystal wine glass floor because of how zoned out you were.
luckily, your mishaps were enough to keep you on your toes plus distracted for a teensy amount of time and by the time you checked the clock, customers were already on their way out for closing hours to come.
you volunteered to stay later than usual to lend a hand and clean up around the bar as an excuse to stay away from your thoughts for as long as possible. your manager found it strange, but she was thankful nonetheless to have some extra hands on deck helping out.
waving goodbye to your manager after cleaning tables and counters, you finally exited the building with a deep sigh and began to walk to the bus stop.
as soon as the night time air hit you, you were suddenly plagued with the most extreme wave of loneliness you'd ever experienced. you feared that you would feel lonelier at night because of the jake situation, and you hated that those fears were steadily becoming a reality.
your brain began to run laps as you started to wonder how things could have turned out if you'd been less nit-picky.
maybe you overreacted. maybe you made something out of nothing. maybe everything was your fault.
you couldn't help but sigh.
the walk home from the bus stop was when you finally let all the tears you were holding in pour from your eyes. you almost couldn't see where you were going due to the tears blurring your vision, but you eventually got to your house. your eyes jaded with tears, you turned the corner to enter your house only to be greeted by a figure sitting at your doorstep.
none other than jake.
he simply could not bear the pain of you not being by his side. he was determined to get through to you; whatever it would take, he'd do it ten fold. jake refused to let you go.
ever since you popped into his life, his greatest fear became losing you, and he refused to let that fear become a reality. he swore to himself that he'd do anything and everything to prove himself to you.
"w-what are you doing here?" you questioned jake between sobs, "i though i t-told you to stay away."
"i'm not going anywhere, y/n. hell, i'll sleep out here all night if i have to," jake declared firmly, his bloodshot and teary eyes gleaming in the moonlight, "trust me, you're not getting rid of me that easily." his tone turned slightly sly.
"jake..." you sighed out, "come inside. how long have you been sitting out here?" you asked whilst opening the front door. he shook his head, not wanting to answer as if it wasn't important for you to possess the knowledge of his time camping at your doorstep.
you let him step inside before you, locking the door once you both got inside.
"so, what is it?" you questioned him again with a sigh, "are you here to collect your things or something?" you tried to keep your voice steady, not wanting to show just how badly you were hurting.
"why would i? it's not like i'm never coming back," jake responded with the same stern tone as before, "you told me to leave and never come back, but i know you better than that, y/n. we both know that we're not just gonna let each other slip through our fingertips. well, at least i'm not going to.
you hated the ease that jake had when it came to seeing right through you and/or literally reading your mind.
he always joked that his sixth sense was 'reading y/n's mind,' but it was scarily true, especially in this moment.
pondering on how attentive jake had always been toward you was enough to have you bawling your eyes out again. thinking about all the little things he did for you every since the beginning made your heart feel like it was about to burst.
jake cautiously stepped toward you, testing the waters to see if you'd push him away if he got any closer, but to his surprise, you didn't. he took this as an opportunity to hold you in his arms, and he was relieved that you even let him do so.
he let out the most intense sigh of relief at the feeling of your head falling against his chest, certain that you were able to hear how quickly his heart pounded.
"shh," jake whispered quietly as he held you tightly, "i'm here, princess. don't cry. you're gonna make me start crying again, baby." you simply melted at his touch as he gently rocked you from side to side, comfort rushing through your body. once you calmed down, you were able to wipe your tears away from your eyes and look up at his tear-stained face. the sight of his upset expression made you bury your head back into his chest, a slight guilt creeping up on you from making him cry along with you.
but you began to feel guilt for another unrelated matter.
unfortunately, you were seconds away from ruining the endearing moment because you couldn't help yourself from expressing your thoughts.
"you're all dirty now," you uttered a soft whine as you wiped a few stray tears away from your eyes, "i was all over the bar cleaning up which made me all gross, and now you're probably all dirty now too."
all of jake's clothes were expensive, and knowing that the hoodie he wore most definitely had remnants of unsanitary bar grime, makeup, and tears made you shudder with unease. his cashmere prada sweater would definitely be unforgiving when it came to attempting to get makeup stains cleaned off of the material.
"is that really what you're worried about, silly?" jake asked with a refreshing yet shy smile whilst tilting your chin upward to look up at him. nodding, you felt your face shifting into a pout yet again and wanted to hide your face as a result.
"give me a second to wash up, please?" you gave jake another pout, embarrassed as you wiped the last stray tears away from your face, tears finally coming to a halt.
"only if i'm allowed to join," jake remarked with a cheeky expression, slightly too soon.
"fine."
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you should've seen this coming.
you should've known that you'd be under the warm water, letting it trickle down your skin, getting lost in a make-out session with the man who can't seem to make up his mind.
you could never seem to gain a sense of morality when the subject of the situation is jake.
you let him overtake you physically and mentally.
there was something about seeing you covered in droplets of warm water whilst steam surrounded the two of you that steadily made jake's desire for you grow deeper and more intense.
jake never knew until now that he had a 'thing' for seeing you with body wash suds all over you; it was like he unlocked a new part of his already-filthy brain.
"hey," jake uttered between kisses as his hands explored your soapy body, "everything i said earlier, it was all a misunderstanding. i love you, y/n, i really do. i just got nervous saying it out loud and started talking out of my ass as a result. please trust me when i tell you that i love you so badly."
your kiss with jake deepened, shutting him up before he could say anything else.
you didn't feel like responding, mostly because you didn't know what to say, so you simply kept kissing him as his hands continued to wander themselves around your body, unknowingly making your core heat up.
as soon as things began to wind down, you turned off the water, handing jake a towel as well as taking one for yourself.
upon arriving to your bedroom, the two of you put on some comfortable clothes as if you weren't about to get undressed in the next five minutes.
you two found your way onto the bed, kissing each other on the lips softly until the situation turned more erotic.
"you're so pretty," jake mumbled into your lips, "all mine." you nodded your head at his comment, "yours." jake seemed to be pleased with your response, it becoming more apparent that his boxers were growing tight.
you let your hands feel down his torso until you got lower, and lower, and eventually down to the waistband of his boxers, ready to take them off after only a few short minutes of them being on. jake followed suit, hastily getting your panties off and discarding them onto the nightstand.
continuing the intimate kiss, jake began to rub gentle circles against your sensitive clit whilst you took his hard length into one of your hands, slowly stroking it at the same pace as he touched you. amorous moans were the only sounds filling the room as jake smoothly slipped a finger inside your needy hole. he moved his hand slowly, feeling every bit of your walls against his slender finger as you began to moan helplessly into his mouth, gripping his cock and stroking it a little harder than before. the two of you moaned in tandem, using your hands to please one another until you reached your limits.
"wait," jake quickly broke the kiss, causing you to look at him as he still continued to rub your clit, "i need a taste."
his statement made your face flush red as you let go of his throbbing cock, letting it fall against his toned lower abdomen as he slid his finger out of your pussy, now positioning you comfortably against the headboard.
"don't be shy, princess," jake chuckled at your coy demeanor, "i've seen you before, silly, and i love what i see." he arguably made you more shy once he parted your legs, biting his lip at the sight of your wet cunt. jake wasted no time, going in for a taste half a second later. the feeling of his tongue against your warmth making a moan escape your lips as your fingers tugged on his pretty brown hair.
"fuck, that's so good, daddy," you mewled as his tongue worked wonders against your hole. you could feel the way he smirked against your clit every time he earned a little moan from you. jake practically lived to please you whether you realized it or not. "i need your cock, please, please, please?" you begged as he stuck his tongue into your soaking hole. jake looked up from between your legs, smirking at how needy his tongue made you.
jake positioned you onto your side, wanting to hold you while he fucked himself into you. he held your leg up, stroking his cock a few times before letting his tip enter you. you squirmed at the feeling, letting out a little moan at the feeling of his thick tip passing through you. slowly, he inched his length into you, his breath hitching at the way your walls clenched around him.
"good girl, so tight for daddy," jake breathed out as he began to thrust softly.
you could feel him so deep inside your cunt, your core quickly burning up at the sensation of his tip steadily bumping against your sweet spot.
jake somehow managed to fuck you like a whore whilst holding you like you were his precious princess.
his thrusts were gentle but very affective, making you twitch as you brought your hand down to your clit, wanting badly to reach your climax.
"daddy, right there," you whined quietly as you brought your hand from your clit up to his spare hand, bringing it around to cup one of your boobs. jake moaned at the way you held his hand against your chest, his core tightening and heating up alongside yours. the stimulation was too much. you found yourself cumming around the base of his thick cock, coating his pretty member with your arousal. "such a good girl," jake praised you as he brought his hand down to your lower abdomen, "you're so pretty when you cum for me."
"your turn, jakey," you urged him by reaching down to play with his balls, causing his head to fall back with a loud groan. he had no choice but to fill you up, ropes of cum shooting deep into your pussy as you both moaned at the feeling.
calming down from your orgasms, you two stayed in the position you were in before inevitably falling asleep as jake kept you close to him throughout the entire night as you both slept.
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the morning after, you felt deviously groggy as if you'd gotten drunk the night before.
the first thing you noticed was jake being gone.
for a second your heart shattered yet again, but your drama queen moment was interrupted when you noticed a handwritten letter on the bedside table.
my lovely princess,
i had to head home early this morning, princess, please don't alarmed by me not being there. i'm not sure if you're working this evening, but it would be great if you could stop by my place beforehand if you are.
-jakey <3
you let out a sigh of relief knowing that jake didn't leave out of pettiness or anything like that.
you rolled out of bed earlier than you would've liked to so that you could go and visit jake before heading to your shift. you couldn't help but wonder why he wanted you to be there. shrugging it off, you quickly got changed into your work uniform, the usual tight and cropped button-up that you barely had buttoned, and a short skirt.
after getting into your work clothes, you put on a significantly less amount of makeup than yesterday before feeding the fish and slipping on a pair of pretty black heels that were easy to walk in.
and you, of course, couldn't forget to bring (one of) your favorite bags that, of course, jake bought for you. since you believed that your recent fight with jake was now behind the both of you, you felt comfortable with using the clothes he'd gifted you throughout your time together.
feeling thankful for the fact that you made up with jake, it was now time to head to his place.
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after the lengthy train journey to jake's house, you walked up to his door and rang the fancy doorbell, waiting for him to come to the door.
you were greeted with a soft kiss from a handsome-as-always jake before he looked you up and down, seeming surprised and shocked at your skimpy work clothes as if he hadn't seen them before.
i mean come on, he literally met you while you were wearing these clothes.
"here," jake reached over to you, buttoning your shirt up higher and practically trying to cram your boobs back into your shirt in the process. he could've sworn they'd gotten bigger, but maybe it was just his dirty imagination. "much better," he sighed with relief. you couldn't help but giggle at his antics; you never saw the day where he'd but buttoning your shirt up.
"you're so silly, puppy," you chuckled as you gazed into his sparkly eyes, completely entranced by his handsome face.
you two stood there, your arms around his neck and his around your waist until you were brutally interrupted by a loud "ahem!"
startled, your head snapped in the direction in which the voice came from.
you couldn't believe your eyes.
"jake, w-what's going on here?" you questioned him with urgency as you stepped away from him, losing physical contact.
it had been so long since you've seen her face that for a second you believed that your eyes were playing tricks on you.
there she was, stood right in front of you.
the girl from the bar.
"y/n, just give me a chance to explain myself," jake begged to which you motioned for him to go on as you tried not to roll your eyes, "i just thought that maybe by bringing you both here, you'd bring this drama to a close, call a truce or something, you know?"
"you're joking, right?" you questioned him a second time, feeling like you were about to lose your mind, "there's no drama that needs to be 'closed,' and i don't appreciate the fact that you're bringing me face-to-face with someone who belittled me for months and went on to physically assault me. there is no drama; she's just- she's- a bitch! that's what she is, and i never want to see her again, jake!" your tone was firm, clear, and serious until you panicked after calling her a bitch. you couldn't help but feel your stomach fall into the depths of hell as you tried to hold back tears.
"now just who the fuck do you think you are, y/n?" she began aggressively moving closer to where you and jake were standing, causing your body to tense up, her knowing your name while you didn't even know hers making you fear her presence even more, "you- you're the bitch in this situation, so don't you get it twisted! why are you in jake's life in the first place? all you've done is take up all his time while you sit around and spend his money all while ruining his reputation! before you were around, he dedicated his whole life to his family's business, and once you waltzed in, he started wasting his time taking care of you like a liability. you're ruining him whether you want to admit it or not!"
her words brought you to a standstill. why did she seem to know so much about you and jake's relationship? more importantly, why does she think she has the right to say these things? more, more importantly, why hasn't jake said a single word?
"who are you to say any of that?" you blurted out furiously, "why are you so concerned about what we're doing? just mind your business! none of this would be happening if you just decided to leave him alone! leave us alone while you're at it! blaming me for random shit isn't going to change a thing; jake and i both know what's going on between him and i, and that's none of your concern. leave me out of this."
trying to remain calm, you took a deep breath only for her to start coming closer to a point where you could smell her flowery perfume.
"his business is my business," she stated firmly, looking into your soul via your eyes, "you better believe and internalize when i say that you're a no-good, useless commoner who could only dream of living the life we do. just because you think you're in cahoots with jake doesn't mean you're gonna snake your way into his life, you got that? you're just a bit of fun for him, someone he can use for a little while before he realizes that you're just a pathetic commoner who he shouldn't associate with. god, when will you realize that you're just an object that he can put his arm around and fuck when he has nothing else to do?"
at this time, you wished that your ears were deceiving you; you truly couldn't believe that anyone could say something as cruel as that seemingly without feeling any shame or guilt.
you also couldn't believe that you were basically having a cat-fight with another woman over a man. you never ever thought you'd get to this point, but jake... he just means so much to you to a point where you couldn't bear the thought of someone trying to take him away from you. god you felt pathetic for letting a guy take control of your emotions like this, but you couldn't help yourself; jake was so precious to you.
"soyeon, that's enough!" jake suddenly spoke up, shocking both of you.
well, at least now you finally learned her name after all this time.
"i'm not just gonna sit here and let you say disrespectful things to y/n! she did nothing wrong, and i'm sick of you thinking that she did. she's not ruining anything, and she's especially not ruining me! just leave her and i alone and find someone else."
"seriously, why did you bring her here?" you asked jake quietly, "you knew she wasn't going to be civil about this."
"y/n," jake looked into your eyes as he spoke, "i really thought things would be settled. in hindsight, i should've seen this coming, but i never meant to hurt you by doing this."
she seemed to smirk at the way you finally began to tear up.
"well you did," you spoke out, gently wiping your waterline to avoid messing up your makeup, "i honestly don't know how much more i can take. you told me that you loved me last night; was it all a lie? were you just sweet-talking me? i don't know what you want anymore, jake."
at this point, jake's feelings were as clear as mud.
"look at me. please don't cry," jake begged, wanting so desperately to wipe your tears away, soyeon watching the situation from just a few paces away.
"see, there he goes again," her voice making you tense up again, "taking care of you like a child. it's sad to watch, really. you're only stressing him out by acting like this, so go take your tears somewhere else-"
"haven't we heard enough from you already?!" jake raised his voice at her, "look, if you can't suck it up and leave her alone, then get out and never show your face around her nor i ever again!"
"how could you say that, jake?" she began crying out, "if it weren't for her, things would've played out perfectly! if it weren't for her, we'd be married!"
"m-married?" you managed to speak out as you looked over at jake in disbelief. after that, you couldn't get another word out, only mustering up the courage to take your phone and wallet out of the bag you brought with you (that was, of course, from jake) and leave it on a chair before walking out the door.
no matter how many times jake called your name, you couldn't find the courage to turn around. hearing the words that she said made your entire world crumble around you.
marriage? is that why he invited you to his house to meet her formally?
whatever.
you didn't want to think about it anymore.
you wished that jake's front yard and driveway wasn't such a strenuous walk because you could still hear him calling your name endlessly, begging you to come back.
"let her go, jake," you heard soyeon's loud and mocking voice, "she doesn't understand this lifestyle, and she never will."
maybe she was right. maybe you'd never understand because you weren't born into a rich and noble family like they were.
you couldn't hear much else once you got to the end of the excruciatingly long driveway, only being able to hear a loud "get out" that you presumed came from jake.
after finally making it out of his residence, you took a second to tell your boss that something came up and that you couldn't come in after all. luckily, she was understanding and thankfully didn't make you explain what went on which was a relief.
at that, you took your sad ass back home and planned to stay there for the next couple of days.
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"that's absolutely insane," yeji's jaw dropped over the phone.
you decided to call her and tell her the sequence of events because, come on, you can't hide anything from your best friend.
"and i'm a wreck over it," you admitted lowly as you spoke into the phone, "i think i just need some time to myself, you know? after all, i've spent virtually all my time with him since we met, so maybe some time apart will do us some good."
"who knows, maybe he'll finally make up his mind," yeji shrugged before letting you go, reminding you that you could call her any time no matter what.
you sighed softly once the call ended, feeling more alone than ever.
stupidly, you decided to open up his designated drawer in your bedroom where he kept some clothes and put on one of his hoodies. the smell of his clothes only made your heart shatter into even smaller pieces as you curled up on your bed in hopes that you could get some sleep, your eyes sore and tired from crying.
a sudden panic filled your body once you heard the sound of your front door being unlocked, causing you to jolt up from your bed.
"y/n, are you home? it's just me," you heard a familiar voice call out to you from the living room. you peeked from underneath your covers to see jake standing before you, holding out his hand for you to grab it, but you refused.
as much as you wanted to curl up in bed with jake and act like everything was dandy, simply seeing his face made you start crying like a baby.
jake's heart shattered into a million pieces at the sight of you crying.
he did this.
he fucked up.
and he was unsure if he could do anything to fix it.
"g-get out," you managed to stutter through your tears, "y-you're a liar; you d-don't love m-me. s-shouldn't you be g-getting ready f-for a w-wedding with h-her or s-something?"
"for fuck's sake, y/n, i'm not marrying her!" jake raised his voice at you unintentionally, "i don't even want her in my life, so what makes you think that i'd do anything of the sort?" you could only let out sniffles in response, letting tears trickle down your face as jake slowly approached you.
upon seeing you up close, he noticed that you were clad in one of his hoodies which only made his heart soften even more. he couldn't stop himself from climbing into your bed and sitting next to you, his back against the headboard as he looked down at you.
you turned away from him, not wanting him to see your puffy, tear-stained face.
"is it because she's prettier than me?" you asked, your emotions suddenly spilling out, "because her figure is better than mine? or maybe how her hair always looks perfect? is it the way that she always dresses up no matter where she goes? or how you and her probably have a lot more in common in a sense that you two both come from noble and rich families? if you really think i'm an unattractive nobody just say it."
you couldn't see it, but jake's face was in a state of shock, absolutely refusing to believe that your mind came up with all of those ideas.
"you don't really think that, right?" jake asked softly, getting his answer from the way that you stayed still and silent, "princess, how could i ever? don't you know that i only have eyes for you? please, look at me." you felt jake's warm hand meet your shoulder, helping you turn your body to face him.
you sat up against the headboard next to him, your eyes glistening as you looked into his eyes that seemed to be saddened upon finding out what was going on in the depths of your mind. jake couldn't help but stop and wonder how long you'd been feeling that way, and it caused a sinking feeling to bubble up within him.
"if there's one thing i want you to know right now, it's that i think you're the most gorgeous woman i've ever laid my eyes upon," jake declared, pulling you closer and closer, "i don't care what you say, i don't care if you disagree because this is my truth." jake eventually pulled you close enough to where you were sat on his lap, your forehead against his while he lowly mumbled sweet nothings to you.
"you know, ever since i first put my hands on you, i never wanted to touch anyone else," jake admitted in a whisper as his hands began to travel around your waist, "even the thought of being in this position with anyone else makes me sick to my core."
you let jake's hands feel all over you as you felt his obvious hard growing underneath you, letting a small whimper pass through your lips.
some would argue that your relationship with jake was in too fragile of a state to be intimate with each other, but you couldn't disagree more; you needed to feel jake in the most intimate and vulnerable way possible.
"please," you whined in a whisper, jake knowing exactly what you were asking for and following suit.
in the blink of an eye, you let jake slip his hard cock inside you, his hands still wandering around your waist as he pushed his hoodie off your body. you let out quiet moans as goosebumps formed all over your body from his touch. the combination of the slow movements of your hips against his along with the way his hands ghosted over your chest was enough to send your body into a frenzy.
not wanting to rush the pleasure, you slowed the movement of your hips to focus on jake's beauty.
you took time to adore the way his lips looked against your chest as he left gentle pecks along your skin, the way he ran his fingers through your hair, the way his eyes would meet yours, causing you to become shy.
"see how beautiful you are?" jake began, his lips finding their way back onto your skin, "i couldn't even imagine anyone else who i'd give myself to almost every goddamn chance i get. i want you all the time, you have no idea." his breathing slowed down as you began to kiss his soft lips.
it's impossible.
he's impossible.
jake sim is impossible not to fall in love with.
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a/n: sorry this one is so long and isn't exactly an easy read. i hope you still enjoyed it anyway and are looking forward to the next one <3 ily all and tysm for being super patient with this series. i love it so much and don't want to give up on it, so your support really helps <3
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mountttmase · 2 months
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Winter Sun - Chapter 7
Note - the last chapter 🥺 from the bottom of my heart thank you all so much for all your kind words on this series. It’s been overwhelming seeing how involved you guys are, the last chapter especially and I hope this makes up for it. Feedback would be appreciated as usual and until next time, let’s enjoy our babies 🥺🩷
Pairing - Mason Mount × Reader
Word count - 8k
Warnings - series will contain fluff, smut & angst
Masterlist
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‘So I have a little favour to ask’ Carly sang down the phone to you and you couldn't deny the sound of her voice filled you with joy. You'd been home from Portugal for two weeks now and you’d missed being around her everyday. Your mood significantly dropping since you’d got back home but it wasn’t just the absence of your best friend in your life that was making you miserable.
Not a word had been exchanged between you and Mason since that night he left you in bed. Not a call or a text. Nothing. No sign of life from him at all and the longer it went on the more your heart broke.
‘Oh yeah, what’s up?’ You asked her, hoping it was nothing too much as you weren’t in the mood.
‘Welllll, Ben and I were hoping to host a little gathering at the weekend and I was hoping you’d come’ she asked sweetly but you could tell there was something else.
‘You know I will, so what’s the catch’
‘Fine’ she laughed. ‘We were hoping to make it a pizza making party, like do something a little different? Bens just got the new oven installed and wants to try it out’ she explained.
‘Let me guess, you want me to make the pizza dough?’
‘Well you are a professional baker’ she giggled. ‘Pleaseeee I’ll make sure I’ve got all your favourite toppings and I’ll get you a bottle of that fancy gin you like’
‘Oh yeah?’
‘I mean you’ll have to share it with me but of course’
‘It’s fine i’ll do it you’ laughed, thinking it would probably be a good idea to socialise again after keeping to yourself for a little while but there was a thought itching away in the back of your brain. ‘Hey, Carly. Who else is gonna be there?’
‘Oh the usuals, Dec, Lauren, Woody, Kayla’ she listed off and the omission of a certain someone’s name made you relax. ‘Bens also got a friend from home here and possibly a couple of the Chelsea boys might come. Oh and Mason too, he’s free that weekend’
‘Oh so quite a few then’ you breathed, your heart sinking as she finally listed his name off but you’d already agreed to go and couldn’t back out now no matter how much you wanted to.
You thought about it the whole afternoon though. It felt too soon to see him but you knew you’d have to get it over with eventually. It’s not like you didn’t want to talk to him, often finding yourself typing something out for him to message but you were too scared to hit send on anything as he was yet to make a move himself.
When you made it home, your concierge waved you over before handing you a parcel. You took it with a smile, the box being heavier than you first anticipated as it wasn’t overly big but you managed to get it upstairs and once you were in you tore into it. Unsure of what was inside until you’d taken all the bubble wrap off to reveal the hand decorated tip jar that Mason had painted for you. Your heart leaping at the memory of when he first showed you his design and you spent the next few minutes giving it a proper look over.
It was all still there, the pretty flowers and little cakes, the heart with gwens face in but what really made you melt was the detail on the bottom you missed. His initials, MM, in a little heart and you had to bite your bottom lip to hold your emotions in.
All you could think about was messaging him, just wanting to hear his voice but after how things were left you were still feeling unsure of yourself and if he’d want to talk so you resisted. Instead looking back at videos you’d taken of the pair of you on your week away, your favourite being the one from a pool day in the middle of the week where he was giving you a tutorial on how to dive into the pool. You could hear your voice over the speaker telling him there was no chance in hell you’d ever get in there and the sarcastic pout he gave you made you smile.
You managed to hold it together but as the days became closer to seeing him you could feel yourself freaking out. You decided to throw yourself into work and the night before you distracted yourself by making all the dough for the next day. Making way more than you needed to but it seemed to be your coping mechanism for the night so you didn’t think about looking back into his brown eyes again.
When you arrived at Bens the next night you were thankful that Woody and Kayla arrived at the same time and helped you carry everything inside and once in, you made the rounds and said hello to everyone. There were a few faces you didn’t recognise and when you were sat with Carly you watched a girl come from downstairs and lounge over the back of the sofa like it was her own.
You were constantly watching the door, waiting for a specific person to show and just like usual he turned up late so you were semi caught off guard.
You heard his voice before you turned to give him a once over and you hated the way your tummy sunk at the sight of him. The last time you’d seen him he was abandoning you in your bed as he made it clear you were nothing more than someone he wanted to fuck for the week. Now he was just Mason again and you weren’t sure you’d be able to differentiate between the two.
You couldn’t take your eyes off him though, watching him say hello to everyone before he got to the girl who’d come from upstairs and they both looked thrilled to see each other. Him wrapping his arms around her waist as she buried her face his neck and you had to turn away before you burst into tears.
Who was she? And why were they so cosy? You knew the pout on your face was visible and before you could stop yourself you were tugging on Carly’s arm.
‘Hey, Carly? who’s that girl?’
‘Who, Kenny?’ She asked but you could tell she wanted to roll her eyes a bit. ‘Ben invited her, they’re old friends and she’s here for the weekend’
‘Oh right… What’s she like?
‘She fine’ she shrugged but you knew there was more to the story. ‘I wish she wouldn’t lay all over the sofa like that though’ she laughed and even though it was in jest you knew she was serious. ‘I think Ben’s been trying to set her and Mason up for a while now but I’m not sure how well it’s working’ she told you and you felt your heart sink. You didn’t push her for anything else though and soon enough you felt a hand on your shoulder that was gone as soon as it came.
‘Ladies, how are we?’ Mason smirked, leaning over to give Carly a quick kiss on the cheek before looking down at you. ‘You alright?’
‘Good thanks, you?’ You asked, keeping still just in case he tried to kiss your cheek too but he didn’t move a muscle. Looking down at you with a blank expression and you hated not being able to read him.
‘Yeah not bad. It’s good to see you’
‘You too’ you whispered. Not sure how good it was to see him right now and his standoffishness was making your heart shatter.
Mason was about to say something else when the sound of his name being called across the room startled you both. Looking to see Kenny waving him over and he gave you a sympathetic smile before leaving you alone.
You couldn’t lie, his apparent coldness hurt and you had to turn away from Carly so as not to let it show how upset you were. The fact that he couldn’t even seem to touch you in some way for more than a second made you feel rubbish and you knew you’d be in for a long night which was only made worse by the fact Mason and Kenny seemed to know each other and Ben was trying to set them up. You felt him slipping through your fingers even more and you had to give yourself a mini pep talk to carry on.
Not wanting to be a party pooper you put on your brave face and went to sit with Kayla and Woody. Catching up with everything they’d been up to and reliving your favourite holiday moments before Dec, Lauren and a few others joined you. Dec giving you a sympathetic smile but you just shrugged your shoulders. Not wanting to speak about any of it.
You could see Mason out of the corner of your eye, standing with Kenny as they chatted just the two of them and you wondered why he never came to join you until Carly called you into the kitchen and they finally joined everyone else. Realising you must have been the reason he didn't want to sit with everyone and you felt your eyes sting.
You kept away from him on purpose after that, not wanting to keep him away from his friends so you stuck into helping Carly in the kitchen until she got hot and said she wanted to go and change. Leaving you on your own to finish up cutting the pizza toppings.
‘Sorry, y/n’ you suddenly heard behind you, the sound of Mason's voice making you jump but when you turned to face him, he was standing as far away from you as he could get. ‘Shit sorry, I didn’t mean to make you jump. I was just wondering if you could grab me a glass?’ He asked quietly. Head nodding to the cupboard above your head so with a quick nod you pulled one out and handed it to him.
Your fingers brushed, just for a second, but when you looked up he was looking down still. Unable to meet your eyes so you turned back around to continue chopping.
You heard him move, thinking he would be leaving but when you felt him next to you your heart gave a thud. Carrying on chopping as he faced inwards towards the kitchen but you were waiting for him to speak first.
‘Sorry we haven’t spoken much lately, I’ve just had a lot on’ he told you quietly and you knew it was the worst excuse in the world from him. The way he didn’t care enough to be honest with you made you feel sick and you had no idea how to respond
‘S’fine’ you shrugged, eyes down as you bit the inside of your cheek.
‘No it’s not. I know I just left and that wasn't cool’
‘Its fine’
‘Y/n-‘
‘Mase?’ Ben suddenly called, head popping into the kitchen and his eyes lit up at the sight of him. ‘Ahh there you are. We’re playing Pictionary and Kenny needs a partner. You coming?’
Mason didn’t respond, his eyes flashing down to you first but you just gave him a forced smile.
‘It’s fine, go’
‘Y/n-‘
‘Y/n, you wanna come join? I’m sure we can find you someone’ Ben interjected, cutting Mason off thankfully but you just shook your head.
‘No thanks, I’ve got some stuff to finish in here’ you told Ben before looking back up into Mason's soft eyes. An unreadable expression behind them but you knew you couldn’t look at him for too long. ‘Go on, I won’t get finished otherwise’
‘You sure?’ He asked but you just sent him a nod back. Looking back down to what you were chopping before you felt him sigh and push himself up to leave. The feel of his hand on your waist making you freeze as you felt him press a fleeting kiss to the crown of your head before walking out the door to leave you on your own. Your eyes filled up immediately but you blinked the tears away and took a deep breath in to steady yourself.
He was so confusing and truth be told, you couldn’t face watching Mason with her so you kept yourself out of the way on purpose. Making up jobs in the kitchen and setting everything out for everyone else so that when Carly came back everything was good to go and it was worth it to see the smile on her face.
You let everyone else make their pizzas first, helping Woody out a little bit as he seemed to have no idea what he was doing but you didn’t dare look in Masons direction as Kenny was half draped over him. Soon enough the kitchen was clearing as people took theirs out to the new pizza oven to be cooked and you felt like you were able to take a breath.
After everything that had happened tonight you weren’t very hungry but now everyone had left you could make yours in peace and you were almost done when you felt a presence beside you and you knew who it was immediately
‘You still going?’ Mason asked, taking a seat beside you as you popped the last of your toppings on
‘I’m almost done, I want it to be perfect’ you told him quietly ‘I take pizza very seriously’
‘Well yours looks way better than mine’ he huffed and you sent him a small smile. ‘Are we okay?’ He asked carefully, his voice small and scared almost and when you finally made eye contact with him you saw how sad he looked.
‘Why wouldn’t we be?’
‘You just seem… quiet’
‘Long day’ you shrugged, gulping back your emotions but before you could say anything else you heard people start to filter back inside. ‘Go on, yours is probably done. I’ll just cook mine and be in’
He didn’t reply, just stood up with a sigh as you were already making your way outside where now only Ben and Carly were. You told them you were fine to finish up if they wanted to go inside and you were left with just your thoughts.
You were being miserable and you knew you were and you knew you had to snap out of it. You were the one who caught feelings, clearly he hadn’t so this was a you issue and if you didn’t fix up you were risking ruining the whole friendship group.
Before any of this Mason was a friend and the friendship came first. There was no point dwelling on what had happened and the fact that nothing probably ever would again but you missed being civil with him more than anything so after a quick pep talk you told yourself you’d make an effort with him to be normal. You’d leave the past in the past and move on so you could have your friend back as that was the most important thing. Even if that meant watching him fawn over someone else.
These things don’t work out like you want them too sometimes and that’s okay. But your mood wasn’t and after the realisation hit you, you made sure you’d be cherpier when you went back inside.
You felt lighter as you made your way back in, stopping in the kitchen to cut your pizza up and as if by magic Mason appeared. Walking over to the fridge to grab a drink before standing opposite you.
‘I came to check up on your masterpiece’ he smiled sweetly but he seemed taken aback as you looked back at him with a bright smile.
‘Oh yeah? What do you think’ you asked, showing it to him proudly with a wide smile and your sudden change of demeanour had him looking at you bewildered but he soon mirrored your expression and smiled back at you widely.
‘I think, I probably should have asked you to make mine’ he laughed, eyes wide as he looked over your food and you figured this would be a good time to give him an olive branch and let him know everything was okay.
‘Here, why don’t you take this bit’ you told him, popping a slice on his plate and the rosy blush that took over his cheeks made you smile.
‘No I-I couldn’t’ he stuttered, looking at you like he was in shock but you nodded at him encouragingly.
‘Please? I’ll never finish it all. I want you to have some’ you told him, placing your hand on his arm and his eyes flashed to where you were touching him before looking at you with a soft smile.
‘Thank you’ he whispered but before anything else could be said, Carly was calling you over to sit with her.
‘I’m gonna go eat, but I’ll see you in a bit, yeah?’
‘Okay’ he breathed, a huge smile on his face as he looked at you and you hated the fact that all you wanted to do was kiss him but with one last smile you let him go and took your seat next to Carly.
You sat and listened to everyone talking, chipping in when you needed to but your eyes were on Mason and Kenny, hating the way she looked at him and even worse the way he was looking at her. You told yourself outside you’d have to get used to it but it was going to take more than one evening to do that.
You ignored it though until you couldn’t, watching them discuss the pizza on his plate before she picked up the slice you’d given him from yours and take a massive bite from it.
You were filled with rage instantly. That slice was meant for him, a peace offering of sorts to let him know that the pair of you would be okay and he’d just handed it over to his new play thing like it was nothing.
Your appetite was gone in an instant so you let Carly know you were quickly running to the loo so you could sort yourself out but memories of you and Mason getting physical on this very counter made your blood boil and you just wanted to go home.
Everywhere you looked you could see him and you knew you couldn’t stick around much longer.
Everyone had disbursed by the time you got back downstairs but you found Carly as quickly as you could so you could say goodbye before slipping out.
‘I don’t wanna cause a fuss, I’ll just go it’s fine’ you told her with a weak smile. ‘It’s been a long day and I just don’t feel great’
‘Oh no’ she pouted, pulling you into her body for a hug and you had to bite your lip so you didn’t cry. ‘You sure you’re alright?’
‘I’m fine. I’m just gonna head out before anyone sees. Just tell them I don’t feel good if anyone asks’ you told her and even though she was pouting at you tried not to let it bother you too much as you hated upsetting her and if you carried on seeing how sad she was you’d end up staying.
You’d almost made it out the door when a voice you didn’t recognise called your name and you turned to see Kenny smiling at you sweetly.
‘Hey, I don't believe we’ve met. I’m Kenny, you’re y/n right?’
‘Uh yeah, that’s me’
‘I thought so, I recognised you from everyone’s holiday pictures. I was so jealous but I’m so happy my spot wasn’t wasted’ she smiled but her words confused you.
‘What do you mean, your spot?’
‘Oh Mason didn't tell you?’ She asked, brows raising in shock like she couldn’t believe you didn’t know but you could tell she was about to take some satisfaction in filling you in. ‘I was meant to go with him originally but like a week before I had a really important job come up and I had to back out. I told Mason to find someone else to take and he mentioned you guys were friends. You know what Masons like he probably didn’t want to say anything and upset you’
Her words sliced through you, gaping holes left in your chest at the idea of being just an afterthought for Mason. Second choice, just like normal. You felt like you couldn’t take in a proper breath and you were hoping she didn’t notice how her words were tearing to pieces but even if she did you weren’t sure she would have cared. ‘Don’t worry though, he’s promised me a solo trip just the two of us soon to make up for it’ she laughed before her eyes were back on you. ‘You're leaving so soon?’
‘Yeah I’m not feeling great, I'm just gonna head home’ you said quietly, eyes on the floor so she couldn’t see the pain in them and you stuffed yourself into your coat so you could leave.
‘Oh okay, well hopefully see you around’ she told you sweetly but all you could do was nod before rushing out of the door.
You could barely focus as you drove home. Feeling even more used now that you knew you were his back up. Probably only sleeping with you as you were all he had to choose from and you felt even dirtier than before.
You’d really let yourself believe you meant a little something to him but you couldn’t stand thinking about him anymore. Even if you were only friends you thought he would have treated you with a bit more respect than this.
You were even more emotional when you finally got to the safety of your flat. Tears filling your eyes but you resisted the urge to let them escape. Jumping in the shower before changing into a comfy pair of pjs so you could get ready for bed and cry your little heart out but fate wasn’t on your side tonight.
You thought about ignoring the knock on your door, but it was late so you knew it wasn’t random. Opening up the door with a huff to reveal the last person you wanted to see and the sight of him raised your blood pressure.
‘Mason, what do you want?’ You asked with furrowed brows and you knew you looked pissed from the way he was looking back at you.
‘Charming’ he laughed, but you didn’t react. Watching his face drop a little bit but he carried on. ‘Carly said you weren’t feeling too well I was just coming to check on you’
‘There’s no need, I’m fine’ you told him bluntly but just like usual Mason was giving up without a fight.
‘Can I come in then?’
‘Where’s Kenny’ you questioned, eyebrow raised but he looked even more confused at this.
‘How should I know?’ He scoffed, looking at you like you’d lost your mind and you realised you couldn't send him away no matter how much you wanted to. Hoping he’d see you weren’t in the mood for visitors and leave but this was Mason you were talking about and as soon as you moved aside to let him in you wished you hadn’t of.
He walked through your flat, making his way to the living room where he perched himself on the arm of the sofa so he could face you as you stood far away from him in the doorway. Hands behind your back as he played with his in his lap, both in silence for a beat until he looked up at you with his big eyes and you nearly lost it.
‘Are you gonna tell me what’s really wrong? Cause you look fine’ he told you and you felt your anger rise up in your throat.
‘Oh and you’re the authority on who’s sick then are you? Sorry I didn't realise I had to meet your standards to pass. What do you want me to do, cough up a lung? Would you believe me then?’
‘What the hells gotten into you?’ He laughed, a look of disbelief on his face and you knew you had to tone it down a little bit.
‘Nothing’ you huffed, eyes on the floor so he couldn't read you but you saw him shuffle about uncomfortably.
‘Well it has. Look I know things have been a little weird since Portugal but I’m only here for a few days and I…’
‘And what?’
‘I miss you’ he whispered. You heart breaking at the sound of his voice but you knew you had to stay firm. ‘Things aren’t the same as they used to be. What happened to the contract? Friendship comes first and all that shit? You can barely look at me now’ he told you, unable to hide the hurt in his voice but you were too upset to let it affect you. ‘Last time we spoke at Ben's things seemed better and now you’ve gone all cold again’
‘I said already, I don’t feel well’
‘You don’t expect me to believe that’
‘Believe what you want’ you mumbled and the sigh that he let out almost broke your heart.
‘I hate all this, being off with each other and stuff. Why can’t we just go back to how it was?’
‘Cause I fucking like you, you idiot!’ you suddenly exploded, silencing him immediately as he stared at you in shock and you knew you needed to take it down a peg. ‘I like you’ you told him, your voice sounding vulnerable and small as your eyes fell to the floor. ‘I know about the contract and I remember the rules but I like you. And I’ve been trying to make it stop but I can’t and then you shared my pizza that I gave you with some random girl I’ve never seen before right in front of me’
‘It’s just pizza, Muffin’ he said quietly, trying to hide the smile on his face but you saw it clear as day. He hadn’t called you Muffin since the second to last day in Portugal, the sound making your knees weak and your eyes water but you were determined not to show him what he was doing to you.
‘It’s the principle’ you huffed shakily, wanting him to understand how insignificant he’d made you feel and by the way his eyes dropped you think he got the picture. ‘It hurt, Mase’
‘I didn’t mean to hurt you’ he told you softly, standing up to be closer to you and when he reached for your hand you let him take it. ‘That’s the last thing I’d want to do. Truth is I never actually gave it to her, she picked it up off my plate before I could say anything. I was actually pretty pissed cause I wanted to eat it, like I’d saved it till last on purpose and I knew I couldn’t ask you for another bit’ he laughed, trying to make you smile and you almost conceded. ‘There’s something else though, isn’t there’
‘What do you mean?’
‘It’s not just the pizza you’re upset about. Something else is wrong’ he stated and you froze.
What did he expect you to say?
You’d admitted you liked him and even though he hadn’t said it back he also hadn't shot you down. If anything he looked lighter from your confession and you figured you had nothing left to lose so you decided to be honest.
‘That girl.. the one who stole my pizza’
‘Kenny?’
‘Who is she?’ You whispered. Your voice sounding scared like you might not like the answer but from the way Mason was looking at you you felt yourself settling down.
‘A friend of Bens from back home. I didn’t meet her that long ago but he introduced us cause she lives in Manchester now’ he explained and you hated the fact she lived so close to him.
‘Oh, so you haven’t known her long?’
‘Not really. Why?’ He asked and even though it was petty you just shrugged your shoulders. ‘Hey come on. What happened?’ He asked, pulling you back towards the arm of the sofa and in between his legs so he could hold your waist but you kept your arms crossed in front of you. ‘Please tell me, Muffin. I can’t help if I don’t know’
‘When you told me you’d paid for my part of the holiday already and were waiting to convince me, were you telling the truth?’ You asked quietly, not wanting to look him in the eyes so you focused on his shoulder instead but you could see from the corner of your eye the confused look on his face.
‘Of course I was. Why? Did someone say something different?’
‘She told me that space was booked for her. That you’d invited her first but a job came up and she couldn’t go so that’s why you never asked me sooner cause it never really was for me. I was just back up but you didn’t want to upset me’
‘First of all, that’s bullshit. It was always meant for you and I’ve got the texts to prove it’ he told you, reaching for his phone to prove his point but you felt a little silly now.
‘Mase it’s fine-‘
‘No, I wanna show you. I don’t want you to think that when it wasn’t that at all’ he told you, his voice hard but you knew his frustrations weren’t aimed at you.
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‘See, it was always for you’ he told you gently, your heart sinking at the fact you’d believed her so easily.
‘Why did she say that to me then?’
‘Cause she’s probably annoyed you ended up going’ he laughed. ‘Look, I’ll admit I took her out on a date a few weeks before I came down that weekend we… you know for the first time’ he explained. ‘Nothing special, just dinner and some drinks and she asked about any plans over the winter break and this came up. I think Ben must have mentioned it already and she told me she was up for it if your space was available and I said I’d let her know. Obviously it wasn’t and she got a bit jealous I guess and wanted to make you feel a bit shit about it’
‘Well mission accomplished’ you laughed, uncrossing your arms so you didn’t look so defensive but you were still a little uncomfortable so you just played with your fingers and he let out a gentle sigh.
‘Muffin, who are we trying to kid?’ He asked you softly, your eyes on his face immediately and the soft look on his face made your knees weak.
‘What do you mean?’
‘I mean, there’s clearly something here. Why are we trying so hard to fight it?’ He asked quietly and you felt your breath catch in the back of your throat. ‘Did you mean what you said earlier?’
‘Depends, what did I say?’ You laughed and he squeezed your hips softly.
‘When you said you liked me, did you mean it?’ He questioned, wanting an answer but you weren’t ready to speak so you just nodded, hoping that would be enough for him. ‘Well, I like you too. A lot in fact, more than I ever intended to. And I know it’s against the rules but fuck all that’ he laughed. ‘Why are we fighting so hard against what we want?’
‘I’m not sure’ you whispered, eyes finally meeting his and you smiled at him but his last words to you in Portugal were still ringing in your ears. ‘I guess after what you said on our last night away and how you were for that whole day, I just didn’t think you’d ever want anything more from me. You made me feel like crap, like you got what you wanted and you were done’
You watched the hurt flash over his features, reliving his words to you from that night and even though he hadn’t said a lot, he knew his words along with his actions had really upset you.
‘I didn’t say any of that stuff cause I believed it’ he sighed. ‘You don’t know how many times that night I came back to your door ready to knock it down and tell you how I was feeling. Why do you think I left that night like I was going out of my mind and I was crying like a baby’ he laughed but your heart broke at the sound of his confession. ‘I was so caught up in you and then reality hit that I probably can’t give you what you want. What you deserve’
‘What do you mean?’ You asked quietly, hands finally resting on his chest as you reached out to touch him and he smiled and pulled you in closer at the gesture.
‘You’re this big scary boss lady who’s got so much going for her, you know? Like you’ve got your whole little empire and that’s your world. I thought being with me would be too much for you or something. I’m so far away now and I can’t give you the time you deserve. Maybe I’m not making that much sense’
‘You’re really not’ you laughed, thinking he looked adorable when he rambled but you knew he wanted to carry on so you let him.
‘I’m so proud of you and everything you are and everything that you have. I guess I don’t want to get in the way of that’
‘What if I want you in the way?’ You asked and he looked up at you hopefully. Flashing you your favourite smile that you hadn’t seen in what felt like a lifetime and you had to really hold back to not kiss him. ‘Yes I’m busy and yes I have a lot of stuff to do but do you remember what you said to me on the stairs at Ben's house before we went away?’
‘I said a lot of stuff’ he winked, clearly reliving all the ways he’d tried to woo you on the stairs and you blushed as you remembered his words.
‘You did’ you laughed, nodding your head as you moved your hands to his shoulders. ‘But you said everyone’s got time, you just have to make it. And you Mason, I’d be more than willing to make time for you’
‘Yeah?’ he questioned with a laugh and you nodded reassuring him before his face fell. ‘I’m really sorry. I feel like I’ve acted like such a brat’
‘Did I do something?’ You whispered, wanting to get to the bottom of what really happened. ‘I feel like that last day it went all wrong. You just left without a word and didn’t even try to make it right’
‘I know, I was trying to run away I think. I knew I pushed it too far that night before and we broke all the rules but I was past the point of caring. All I wanted was to wake up next to you that morning, kiss you and tell you how I really felt. But you’d gone and then I saw you in the pool with Chilly and it drove me mad’
‘He was teaching me how to swim, Mase’
‘I know’ he laughed, looking like he realised how silly he sounded but you knew there was more to it. ‘But you told me you wouldn’t ever get in the pool for me and after we’d had the day before and it was so perfect, I could feel myself caring more than I knew I should. It fucking hurt that you didn’t ask me and I know it sounds stupid cause it is so I thought it was best to shut it down. I should of handled it differently though I’m sorry’
‘I’m sorry Mase, I didn’t even think. I never meant to make you feel like that’
‘I know you didn’t’ he smiled, pulling you in closer so that your bodies were flush against each other now. ‘There’s nothing to be sorry for I was just jealous’
‘Is that why you spoke to those girls that night?’
‘That looked worse than it was, but I get it didn’t look great so I’m sorry’ he whispered, looking at you with eyes full of guilt but you just nodded. ‘The guys were going in at me at the bar about you and asking why I hadn’t spoken to any other girls that week and then she practically crashed into me. She was as drunk as anything but she told me she was a fan so I spoke to her hoping the boys would leave me alone. She was falling all over me though and I could barely hear her so I tried to steady her and let her know I’d walk her back to her table but you with your incredible timing popped up at the worst possible moment’ he laughed. ‘But I walked her back and then her friends were asking me loads of questions about United so I just sat with them for a bit to get the others off my back but as soon as Dec told me you were out of it I left them’
‘I know’ you whispered, silently relieved that things weren’t as they seemed. ‘Thank you for looking after me’
‘You don’t have to thank me, all I care about is you being okay and I get it didn’t seem like that sometimes’ he sighed. ‘That whole day I knew it was gonna be my last with you and I was miserable. Didn’t wanna do anything or speak to anyone, like once I was over my strop that morning I just wanted to hold you cause I knew I wouldn’t be allowed to the next day. I was terrified of talking to you about anything cause I knew I’d get upset so I just didn’t and then when we went out I thought if I wasn’t around you then I could push it all down and move on and maybe by the time we saw each other again it’d be alright but as soon as I saw you earlier I knew I’d messed up. I don't think I can be just friends with you now Muffin, it’s not gonna work. Not when I know I want so much more from you’
‘Really?’ You breathed, your bottom lip wobbling as his worlds sunk in.
‘Promise. That holiday just proved to me I’d do absolutely anything for you and these last few weeks without you have been hell’ he confessed. ‘I’ve missed you. So much’ he whispered, kissing your cheek and you blushed at his words. ‘Missed holding you and kissing you and pretending that you’re mine. I’m fed up with pretending though like I’ve had enough of it’
‘Me too’ you laughed, thinking his stroppy expression was adorable but your smile made him smile too.
‘So we’re gonna do this then?’ He asked hopefully and you knew you couldn’t deny him.
‘I think so’ you nodded, holding him close as you squeezed each other tightly. ‘I have no idea how or anything but we can sort it out. I just know I want you’
‘We’ll find a way, I’d do anything to make this work’ he assured you and you couldn’t take it anymore. Leaning forward to finally kiss him like you’d wanted to for the longest time and he reciprocated straight away. Lightly brushing his lips against yours as the pair of you tried to not smile but it was too difficult. Giggling onto each other's lips before you pulled away and you just hoped you mirrored the joy that was so plainly written over Mason's face.
‘How I’ve gone that long without kissing you I’ll never know’ he told you, pressing another heavy kiss to your lips. ‘How about we start a Sugar Mumma franchise in Manchester?’ He teased, eyebrows wiggling to let you know he was only half joking but you quite liked the sound of it.
‘I mean I’m always looking for opportunities to expand’ you laughed, pulling back to look into his eyes and they were the happiest you’d seen him all evening and knowing it was because of you made you blush.
‘You gonna let me be your muffin man, then?’ He joked, referencing the fact he always asked if you had found your Mr. Muffin but little did he know he’d been your muffin man all along.
You quickly escaped from his arms so you could grab your phone, wanting to show him something he’d never seen before and when you returned he sat you down in his lap with his arms crossed over your front before he kissed your neck softly.
‘I wanna show you something’ you laughed, quickly opening up your messages to reveal to him the name you had him under in your contacts and you watched his face as the realisation hit him before he looked at you softly. ‘You’ve always been my muffin man’
‘How long has it been like that?’ He laughed, squeezing you a little tighter as he kissed your cheek but you didn’t have time to answer him as a notification from Dec came through and you were left confused.
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‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ You questioned aloud. Looking up at Mason but you could tell from his shy face that he knew what was going on. ‘Mase?’
‘Well I realised pretty quickly you’d gone but I didn’t know what to do so I waited until Woody asked and when Carly said you didn’t feel well I knew something was off’ he shrugged. ‘You were fine before we ate so I went into another room to try and call you but Dec found me before I got a chance and when I told him what I was doing he gave me a bit of a talking to’ he gulped, his face going as red as you’d ever seen it and you weren’t sure if you wanted to hear anymore. ‘Don’t be upset with him but he told me about when you spoke after I’d left. I don't think he told me everything but I got the main parts and I felt like such a knob. He told me he’d bang our heads together if I didn’t come over and make things right so I left and I guess he thinks if we’ve worked it out then it’s all down to him’
‘Well he’s been suspicious from the start I guess’ you shrugged. ‘You know he told me he’d love for you to have someone like me? That I could be just what you need’
‘I mean he’s not wrong but when did he say that?’
‘Day of the boat trip, when we got back from dinner and you had a word with him. I think he only kept teasing cause he was trying to push us together’
‘Well he should have saved himself the bother, I’ve been yours for a while’ he winked and you felt yourself cuddle into him as you blushed.
‘Really?’
‘Of course, had me hooked since that first chocolate muffin’ he confessed. ‘I like you a lot and I didn’t want you to think I’m like what everyone else sees me as. I love having you in my life and I love having you as a friend but lately I couldn’t help but see you as more’ he told you truthfully. ‘And then you showed up at my birthday looking hot as hell like you’re enough to drive anyone insane’ he teased and his words made you giggle as you tried to hide your face in your hands.
‘I never thought you’d see me as more than a friend’ you laughed, holding him tighter as he peppered kisses to your cheek. ‘And I love being your friend but I’ve always had a soft spot for you’
‘We can still be friends’ he told you softly. Kissing your cheek gently before smiling down at you. ‘Well just be extra special friends who kiss and get to see each other naked’ he teased and you rolled your eyes playfully. ‘Plus now you're my girl you get a prime face time slot’
‘Are you ever serious?’ You laughed, turning in his arms so you could pull him into a hug and you shivered at the way he tucked himself into your neck.
‘I’m serious about you’ he whispered into your skin and you couldn’t contain your smile but you knew in the back of your mind this wouldn’t be as simple as you wanted it to be. ‘What’s wrong, muffin?’
You gave him a sad smile, your heart thumping at how he was able to read you so easily before shrugging lightly. ‘Just worrying’
‘Well don’t, there’s nothing to worry about’
‘Well there is. What’s everyone gonna say? I know Carly will be upset I kept this from her’
‘Wanna know a secret?’ He whispered, his voice sounding playful and you looked up at him in confusion. ‘I think she knows’
‘How? Did you say something?’
‘Of course not, but just like my best friend figured it out I think yours has too. Probably knew before we knew ourselves. Remember when we were at the airport and you made your big entrance?’ He teased, making you hide your face in embarrassment but he was quick to pull your hands apart. ‘She came over to speak to me, mainly just to say thank you for the surprise but she asked me if something was going on between us as she knew you always keep your cards close to your chest’
‘Well now I feel even worse’
‘You don’t have to, she knows you’ll tell her when you’re ready’ he reassured you. Kissing you softly before squeezing your hip. ‘Are you working tomorrow?’
‘Gave myself the day off’ you told him, shaking your head into his neck and you felt him squeeze you tighter.
‘Well I’m staying at Woodlands Park, treated myself to a suite but it’s a bit pointless on my own. Will you come and stay with me tonight?’
‘Really?’ You asked, excitement bubbling through you as you knew it was super fancy there and you’d always wanted to go but the fact you got to spend the night with Mason after so long was even more appealing. You pulled back to look at him, laughing as he gave your bum a cheeky pinch and he nodded at you shyly.
‘Of course, I don’t wanna go back there without you’ he whispered and you knew you didn’t want to leave him either. ‘I promise I’ll get you room service in the morning’ he laughed, trying to convince you further but you were already wanting to free yourself from his grip so you could grab your things.
‘Give me five minutes and I’ll be ready’ you laughed, reaching down so you could kiss him again quickly before sorting yourself out but he held you close to him so you couldn’t move. His face serious when you looked at him
‘Thank you, Muffin. I’ve honestly been miserable without you and I’m really glad we get to start again’ he told you truthfully. Your eyes stinging as you nodded back at him softly before he kissed your forehead. ‘We’ll do it the right way this time, yeah? No more secrets or ground rules or whatever else. We’ll just be honest with each other about our feelings and we’ll go from there okay?’
‘Okay’ you whispered, loving the way Mason made it sound so easy when you knew it probably wouldn’t be but you also knew there was no one else you wanted to try this hard with and when he lent forward to capture your lips again, you let him. Content being back in his arms and thankful you’d broken all your rules for him.
y/n
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liked by masonmount, carlywlms_, declanrice and others
y/n My muffin man 🥹🩷
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masonmount all this time I’ve been muffin without you 😘
y/n you’re lucky you’re cute 😩
declanrice I called it (congrats)
y/n 🙄 (thanks)
carlywlms_ so happy for you 🩷
y/n love you 🩷 calling you right now
carlywlms_ you better 😉
okaylaaa oh she’s hard launching 😏
y/n were starting as we mean to go on 😌
benchilwell okay I did not see this coming but I love it
carlywlms_ well you must be the only one who didn’t Jesus Ben where have you been?
y/n yeah Ben, get with it
laurenfryer_ so it really was a couples holiday after all 🥹
y/n we just felt a bit left out
masonmount yeah it’s nothing serious, she’ll be done with me in a week
y/n cute he thinks I’m gonna give him a week
woody_ can you two just get married already? You make me sick
masonmount as joyous as ever woody
nadds__ well I can’t say I didn’t see this coming but I’m so happy for you 🥹
y/n thank you 🩷 I’m concerned as to why everyone could see it but us
masonmount love is blind, muffin. And you need you eyes tested 🤪
lukeshaw23 finally we can go on double dates now you don’t know how long I’ve waited
y/n ooooo yes please 🤭
masonmount not luke asking you out on a date before I did
kaihavertz29 okay I’m so out of the loop, can’t believe my boyfriend has a girlfriend
y/n how did I not know my boyfriend has a boyfriend
masonmount miss you bro ☹️
Tagged: @footiehoemcfc @prideofpd @yoursselo @chelseachilly @willow-writer-ivy @katharinanadiaa @mmountseb @carlottawllms @saltyheartnightmare @masonmtxo @harvestmount @chillymountsjess @treblebluesblog @pulisicsgirl @bluesswift @feelinglikeineedlotsofnaps
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jamietwat · 4 months
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Jamie would 100% make Roy a dating app profile sometime after the Keeley rejecting both of them thing to try to help him move on and meet people when clearly he’s refusing to get back out there organically and he’d think he’s being so helpful and generous and the best wingman ever. He’d handpick what he considers the sexiest pictures he can find and put a bunch of shit Roy would never say thinking he’s being accurate and helpful and not even taking the clear opportunity to make a joke account to embarrass him or anything when he easily could have just made fun of him and chosen the worst pictures possible instead
And then he would be SO offended when it doesn’t go well when Roy finds out about it and is not properly appreciative at all
Roy thinks it’s Jamie’s account when he starts showing Roy girls like what do you think of her and asking him way too many questions when Roy has no interest in participating and has no idea why the fuck Jamie seems incapable of swiping without trying to get Roy’s opinions first. Meanwhile, Roy’s giving one word answers at first and then increasingly trying to brush him off when he doesn’t stop and then he’s just flat out like “Choose your own dates and leave me the fuck out of it” and Jamie’s like “Nah, this is your account. You should have a say” and instead of being grateful and appreciative and thanking Jamie for being oh so generous with his time and energy, Roy just scowls at him and growls out “You did not make a fucking Tinder profile for me” and Jamie just smirks and decides now is not the right moment yet to mention that he actually made him accounts on like three different apps because he wasn’t sure which Roy would like best
Roy barks at him to delete it and Jamie’s all whiny like “Come on, I spent a lot of time on these and you haven’t even considered it. Plus, even if you’re not ready to date someone yet, you’d still be less miserable to be around if you at least found someone to shag in the meantime”
And Roy’s like “Delete it. I don’t want a fucking Tinder profile.” And Jamie looks at him confused for a moment and then seems to have an epiphany as he goes “Oh, do you want a Grindr one instead? Hold on a second” and he flips to a different app and Roy’s too busy being baffled by the fact that Grindr is already on Jamie’s phone and that he’s having to sign out of his own account to try to make one for Roy to even stop him before he’s already trying to sign up for a new account and Roy goes “That’s not what I meant. I don’t want any dating app”
And Jamie pauses his typing and turns and looks at him so skeptically and so judgily and suddenly somehow Roy is trying to fight for his life trying to defend why he’s not looking for some random stranger to date or fuck around with
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multifandomsw · 11 months
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Apologies
Harry Styles x Reader
warnings: not many actually, fluff, jealousy (?), angst?, it’s the calm before the storm
summary: After an encounter with your old best friend, she gave you her number to catch up. When you decide to send her a message, someone else replies. Was it destiny?
author’s note: thank you for all the support! Let me know what you think of this chapter! I’m soooo excited for the next one. Also send in asks/ message me! I want to get to know y’all.
Part 3
Apologies masterlist
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H: Which show?
Cherry: Munich N1!
Harry stared at his phone, excitement and dread filling his body at the same time, making it almost impossible for him to breathe.
There was the possibility of you going to one of his shows. You. There was the possibility of him seeing you in two weeks-
Which was ridiculous. He didn’t even know how you looked, spotting you in a stadium of thousands was almost impossible and yet, Harry held onto that hope.
He wanted, desperately wanted with all of his heart, to tell you who he really was, to get to know you, the real you.
But could he tell you who he was? He didn’t want to destroy whatever you two had, he didn’t want to lose the only person he could be totally honest with, not after he’d already grown so fond of you-
H: You should go.
Cherry: I can’t go alone :(
H: But he’s your favorite singer. It’s a once in a lifetime chance. I’ve been to concerts on my own, too.
Lies.
Cherry: My social anxiety won’t allow me to even step foot into that stadium.
H: Please think about it. Maybe find someone to go with you? It’d make me happy if you went.
Cherry: Why?
H: If You’re happy, then I’m happy
Cherry: I’m blushing, stop it!
A grin spread on Harry’s lips, his heart strangely fluttering in his chest. It was ridiculous, really, that there was so much happiness shooting through his body over a simple message and yet, he wouldn’t want it any other way.
“Harry, you need to hurry up!”, he heard Jeff yell out, pulling him out of his trance.
“Coming!”, he mumbled, taking one last look at the message before shutting off his phone.
-
You: Have you ever been in love, H?
H: I don’t think so. There were times when I thought I was in love, but I think I’ve just always been in love with the idea of being in love.
H: Have you ever been in love, Cherry?
You: Nope, never.
H: Did you ever think you were in love?
You: No.
You: Oh wait, does the crush on my PE teacher in high school count?
H: What????
You: He looked just like Chris Evans, it was insane, he always took of his shirt when he was sweating too much and when I tell you I ONLY looked at his muscles
H: Spare me the details!!!!
You: Oh, is someone jealous?
H: You wish
H: But honestly, have you never been in love?
You: I wish I was. I wish I would be. I love reading about love, I love watching romance movies, I love love. But I don’t think I’ll ever experience the true meaning of it
H: You will
You: Why are you so sure of it?
H: I just know you will
You: Okay, H, I’ll change my mind because of a person I met online
H: Ouch. That’s what I am to you?
You: Unfortunately, you’re so much more than that
H: Now I’M blushing
You stared at his message maybe a bit too long, a grin spreading on your face.
You had sat in this café countless of times and you had been worried every single time, worried that people would judge you for having no one to chat with, no one to sit with.
This time, however, it didn’t bother you that much anymore. It was insane really, but ever since you had been writing with H, you didn’t feel so alone anymore. Because of him. Because of a stranger.
You would be forever grateful for having him. He had helped you so much without even realizing it.
Somehow your miserable life didn’t seem so miserable anymore.
“Is someone sitting here?”, a voice pulled you out of your thoughts and it took all the willpower for you to look away from your phone.
When you met Jack’s blue eyes, your breath stopped. He was your old classmate, the one you bumped into a few weeks ago.
You pressed your lips together, trying not to let the embarrassment show on your face. “No, go ahead.”, you motioned to the empty seat.
“So, how have you been?”, he questioned, settling his eyes on yours. You scanned his features shortly. His blonde hair was slightly ruffled, his piercing blue eyes were shining and a big smile grazed his lips. You had to admit, he did look quite handsome.
“Oh- fine, I guess. Some of my classes are quiet hard- do you go to college here?”
Jack shook his head, his blonde hair falling ever so slightly on his forehead. “I’m just visiting my parents. I’m actually studying abroad in London.”
Right. You had forgot that his parents were super rich.
But your eyes widened at the mention of London. “Wow.”, you let out a breath. “London must be so beautiful.”, you dreamily continued. You had always wanted to leave your small town, to just move away and never look back. Unfortunately though, you never had the money nor the courage to do so.
“It is!”
Surprisingly, you two talked for a while. Jack was asking you multiple questions, seemingly interested in you and your life, too.
It was going smoothly. There were no awkward pauses or silences mid conversation, he always had something to ask you.
He was very nice.
“Oh I love those movies! Especially-“, you stopped mid sentence when you saw the love on tour sticker on his phone case.
You blinked a few times, thinking that you were just imagining it. “Are you- a Harry Styles fan?”
A blush instantly spread on Jack’s cheeks as he shifted in his seat. “Yeah, I really, ehm, I really love his music.”, he admitted, sounding a bit shyer than before.
“I love his music, too!”, you admitted excitedly. Sure, you had talked to people who liked Harry, but only on the internet. You had never talked with a person in real life who liked Harry.
“What’s your favorite song?”, you wanted to know.
Jack thought for a few seconds before he confidently answered. “Fine Line. But honestly, I love all of his songs.”
“I love that one, too.”, you longingly said. Oh, how you wished you could hear that song live, how you wished you had someone to go to the concert with-
Wait.
-
Harry stared at his phone, debating whether he should wait for you to answer his message or just write you.
His show was about to start, but he needed to hear from you beforehand. He needed to be in a good mood.
Before he could even type anything, a notification popped up on his phone.
Cherry: Guess what!
H: Guess who finally wrote me
Cherry: Hey, I’m sorry!
H: It’s okay. What’s up?
Cherry: I’m going to the concert!!!!
Harry’s heartbeat quickened. You were really going to his concert. There was the chance of seeing you. You and him were going to be in the same room-
H: I’m so happy for you!
H: Are you going alone? Who convinced you to go?
Cherry: Crazy story, actually. Do you remember the guy I bumped into at H&M? My old classmate?
H: Yeah, what about him?
Cherry: We met at a Café and we actually talked a bit. He seems like a sweet guy. And I found out that he loves Harry Styles! Can you imagine? The coincidence! Soo I asked him if he wanted to go with me.
H: What did he say?
Cherry: He was so happy about it! He didn’t manage to get any tickets yet. And he even called it a “date”! I’m going on my first date!
Harry’s jaw clenched. The happiness and excitement he had felt only moments ago were replaced by another feeling. It crept through his whole body, making it impossible for him to think rationally.
He was not jealous, no, he was envious.
He wanted to have what Jack had. He wanted to be the one taking you on that date, he wanted to be your first date.
He should be happy for you, he really should, but he couldn’t pretend to be. Not when he was anything but.
Cherry: H?
H: Sorry. I’m happy for you. If he does anything that bothers you, call me.
Cherry: But we have never even spoken on the phone!
“Harry!”, a team member shouted out and Harry knew he had to go on stage.
He had to pull himself together. For his fans.
-
H: What are you gonna wear to the concert?
Cherry: Okay sooo I bought the outfit last year when I got tickets, actually! I have a pink feather boa, a pink glitter hat, some glitter pants, a butterfly glitter top and some heart shaped sunglasses!
Cherry: Before you judge me, this is kind of his dress code. As much glitter and color as possible!
H: Hey, I knew that!
Cherry: Sure, grandpa
H: Hey!
H: You need to send me a picture of your full outfit when you go
Cherry: As far as I’m concerned, you could still be an old man. Sending a stranger a picture of my outfit? I’m not so sure-
H: We’ve been over this like a million times already
Cherry: I’m kidding. I will.
Cherry: Without showing my face, though
H: You still don’t trust me
Cherry: I’m just being cautious!
Cherry: Which reminds me: I want a baby!
H: Excuse me?
Cherry: I saw this super cute little chubby baby today. And it smiled at me! And it giggled!
H: And it also vomits and cries all night.
Cherry: We’re not focusing on the negative aspects. I already went to H&M to look at some baby clothes. They’re soo cute!
H: You know, having a baby usually requires getting pregnant, which requires intercourse, which requires someone to have said intercourse with
Cherry: Good point.
Cherry: I could ask Jack!
H: No, no, no, you will do no such thing, Cherry
Cherry: I’m kidding!
Cherry: But the baby was really cute
H: I love children, too, trust me.
Cherry: Do you ever want any?
H: More than anything, do you?
Cherry: Yes, I think I do
Cherry: But that requires having someone to have children with
Cherry: I don’t have anyone
H: Yet
Cherry: I hope you’re right
H: I always am!
-
“The show is in two days.”, Harry whispered. “The show is in two fucking days.”, he said a bit louder, gaining Sahra’s attention.
“Hey, you okay?”, she questioned, sitting down next to him and looking at his tired expression with worry.
“I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, I can’t do anything but think about that concert.”
Sarah nodded along, immediately knowing who this was about. “It’s about the girl isn’t it?”, she whispered. “Jeff told me about her.”, she clarified quickly.
“I feel like such a dick. I want to see her, I want to talk to her, I want to get to know her, but I don’t want to lose that privilege of her not knowing who I am. There are no-“
“No expectations when you’re writing with her. I get it, I really do.”, Sarah hummed. “But is that how you want it to be forever? Simply writing with each other? Or do you want this to actually turn into something real?”
Harry but his lip, thoughts racing through his head.
“That’s what you should ask yourself, H.”, Sarah finished.
“I- I don’t know if I can tell her.”, he admitted, defeatedly.
“Maybe give her hints?”
Harry thought for a second. “Cherry.”, he began. “That’s what I call her.”, he continued. “I should- I’m gonna wear something with Cherries.”
“Isn’t your song Cherry about Camille?”, Sarah questioned, an amused look washing over her face.
“Oh, shut up.”, he rolled his eyes.
taglist: @st-ev-ie @hsstylesrings @bubblespower101 @ravisinghs-wife @mopeymousey @shishcabobsworld @stylesfever @valntynebaby @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @harryspirate
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cookinguptales · 10 months
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*spins the meta wheel* yeah okay, let's talk about Nandor.
One of the things that's always fascinated me most about his character is the way he desperately wants change but also seems to be more terrified of it than all the other characters put together. He talks about wanting things to be different a lot, but he always sabotages anything that might really materially change his life.
Like -- this quest for love. He talks about how much he wants a partner, he wants his life to change, but what do we actually see? In s3 and the beginning of s4, he's just consistently going after women who don't really want him instead of spending time developing the relationships he already has. He dips into shallow relationship after shallow relationship because the real relationships, the ones that might actually change his life, terrify him. The best/worst of these is probably the cult dedicated to literally living in a fantasy version of the past, which like. Not really helping him beat those afraid-of-change allegations.
(You can learn all the 80s and 90s songs you want, Nandor, we both know only Guillermo is exposing you to modern pop culture! And yeah, there's more than one metaphor there...)
And then in s4, he decides he wants a wife, so he chooses one in the most haphazard way possible and makes both of their lives miserable. He is constantly changing her to make her easier for him to deal with without actually changing his life, and then he gets rid of her when he's fed up with the monster that he's created.
His whole thing with the Djinn is that he's constantly asking him to change things -- and then change them back. He wastes so many wishes on things like Marwa. I want this. No, that. No, that. No, put it all back to the way it was originally.
He does this over and over and over, and nothing seems to perturb him more than finding out that things have changed when he wasn't looking. (See: his difficulty accepting that Laszlo is creating relationships with other people, his spiraling over the big bang, etc.)
So... how does this pertain to Guillermo?
Guillermo's frustrated with Nandor at the end of s4 because Nandor likes the status quo. Things are different, are constantly changing, but Nandor refuses to acknowledge any of that. (He even mentions off-hand that he forgets Guillermo is a slayer sometimes.) Guillermo has always worked for them all under the promise of change, so you could see why this would freak him out a little. He's realizing that things will never change with Nandor because Nandor won't let them. He's so scared of change that he just straight-up ignores it and hopes it will go away -- when he's not actively trying to stop it.
Nandor, who has been making and breaking plans with an almost manic frenzy for the entire season, is finally calm at the end of s4. Why? Because he thinks that everything has gone back to normal. Marwa is gone. Freddie is gone. Guillermo is no longer talking about leaving. Those are the important ones for him, but then Colin Robinson also returns and the house is set to rights, too, so like... why should he worry?
He has no idea what he's already lost. That's what's making me crazy. He doesn't know that he's already lost everything that matters to him. But I think he suspects.
The thing is, Nandor throws himself into his books and his self-help and everything else because I think he can tell, at least on a subconscious level, that things have changed. Indelibly. He knows that Guillermo has changed, and that's probably the one kind of change that scares him more than anything else.
But despite the fact that Nandor can tell that something is up, he still keeps insisting that it's no big deal. It must be some small perceived slight or something. It can't be a huge change that Guillermo is keeping from him. No, no, he already figured that out. He managed to reel Guillermo back in with the wedding scheme. He doesn't have to worry about Guillermo straying again.
:')
He's afraid of losing Guillermo to change, so he prevents change and ignores what he can't prevent. He doesn't realize that that's exactly what's driving Guillermo away. That it's already driven Guillermo away. Nandor's put the idea of Guillermo's transformation up on a shelf, nice to look at occasionally but not a thing he really has to interact with. The theoretical option for change is there, but he doesn't have to worry about it actually affecting his life.
As always, he's attracted to it, but it also scares him. He'll make a glitter portrait of a vampiric Guillermo at his side, but he can't seem to fully get his head (and heart) around the reality of giving Guillermo that kind of power and freedom.
He's afraid that giving Guillermo that kind of power/freedom will change their relationship further, when he's finally gotten it the way he (thinks he) likes it, and he's even more afraid that if Guillermo's leash is taken off, he'll run. He spent all of s4 trying to keep Guillermo from running, but he still seems to believe down deep that he'll do it.
And... he wasn't wrong. Guillermo did go elsewhere to get his bite. But Nandor is very much the one who drove him to do it. I think that's the tragic thing, isn't it? He was so afraid of his relationship with Guillermo changing that he forced Guillermo's hand, which caused the exact kind of change that he was most afraid of. Guillermo distancing himself, Guillermo leaving, Guillermo -- well, cuckolding him, really.
I think it's fixable, but Guillermo's not the only person who's going to need to eat dirt here. He may have been the one who "cheated", from the vampires' POV, but Nandor wasn't upholding his end of the deal, either. And he's going to have to acknowledge the way Guillermo has grown and changed throughout the course of the series, stop regressing to calling him his familiar, and apologize for his own inaction. It may not be the vampiric way, but it certainly would not be the first time Nandor has thrown away vampiric customs for Guillermo.
Nandor, friend, you gotta sit back and learn to embrace change. You gotta enter the 21st century. You gotta allow your relationship with Guillermo to grow organically.
Because Guillermo's gonna change one way or another, and it's really your decision whether or not he leaves you behind. :')
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daisywrites101 · 1 month
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Dr. Robert Chase x GN!Reader
Request: hi!! hope you’re doing well :) i saw you were taking imagines for house requests… was wondering if you could do something with a gn!reader and chase. something fluffy and cute if possible, like chase realizing his feelings for his best friend (being reader) and him trying to figure out how to confess ^^ thank you! have a great day
A/N: I hope that this is what you wanted! I took your idea and just ran with it! I apologize that this took awhile to get out. Life has been crazy lately between school and just some personal things going on. Enjoy the story!
"You are so miserable." Foreman says out of nowhere. Chase looks over at him, clearly offended. "What are you talking about, Foreman?" Chase questions. "You clearly have feelings for L/N. Ever since they started here it's pretty obvious that you like her, and not just like a coworker type deal, and more than you liked Cameron, which says a lot." he says then looks down into the microscope.
Foreman wasn't wrong. Chase had hard feelings for you, when Cameron explained to Chase that their relationship wasn't passing friends with benefits, he moved on. Soon after that is when you started. Having a background in pediatrics and in pathology, House deemed you as necessary to his team. Chase and you had become close, becoming best friends quickly, and Chase falling for you even faster, and it became blatantly obvious to everyone around you that chase liked you, except for you, of course.
"I don't know what you are talking about. Y/N and I are simply friends, best friends even." Chase claims. "Whatever you say, Chase. But you're calling them by their first name, and not to mention that you care for them more than you did for Cameron when the two of you had the fling you had, makes it totally obvious to everyone around the two of you that you like them. I am surprised House has not said anything at this point." Foreman explains, and Chase knows that he is right. Chase has never cared for anyone like he cared for you. when he noticed that you were having on off day, he always would buy your favorite drink to help you feel better. He would spend time with you, both inside and outside of work. Whenever he got the chance he would pair up with you during cases, either sitting in with you while doing MRIs, or even just sitting in the lab running tests, just like Foreman and him were doing now. House allowed you to stay and monitor the patient, but he assigned Foreman and Chase to run the endless stream of labs. It made sense that you stay to monitor him, given your history in peds, but he wished that he was with you. You made him smile, no matter what you did. You made him feel warm inside, more than Cameron did when he was with her. He knew that he wanted to tell you how he was feeling, but he was not sure how.
"How would you suggest I go about telling them how I feel?" Chase asks Foreman. Foreman pulls away from his microscope, looking at Chase baffled. Chase keeps a straight face, letting Foreman know that he is serious. "Oh you're serious." Foreman states. "Um, yeah, I would like to think so." Chase adds. "Look, just plan something nice for them, or you can straight up just tell them." Foreman says to Chase, being blunt but also trying to give him some advice. Chase nods, thinking about what he could do. "Thanks Foreman." He says then goes back to running tests.
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Over the next few days, the case ended and the patient ended up having a case of sarcoidosis, and they received treatment. You stand in front of the mirror in your apartment. Your shirt hanging loose on your shoulders, and the waist band of your sweats fitting loosely on your hips. You stand there wondering if you look okay, as Chase had invited you to his apartment for a movie night. This wasn't an uncommon occurrence, but you still felt a tad self-conscious. What if you were dressed too comfortably? Should you change into something that fits, rather than something that is a few sizes too big? The thoughts are in your head are interrupted by a knock at the door of your apartment. You look over your shoulder at the clock on your night stand and it read 7:30 pm. He was right on time as always. You look at yourself one last time in the mirror, fluff your hair to make it sit how you would like it to, turn the nearby light off and head to the door. you open it to see Chase standing there. When he sees your face, his lights up with a smile, causing your own smile to form on your face.
“You ready?” Chase simply asks, hair falling in his face when he tilts his head slightly. You simply nod and he moves to the side so you can leave your apartment. You step out and lock the door behind you after you close it. Chase walks you to his car, and he opens the door for you, you climb inside and get closes the door behind you. He walks over to the other side, climbs in the car himself, starts it, and then begins the drive to his place.
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You arrived at Chase’s apartment and he walks through the door for you, so he is able to hold the door as you walk in. You slip your shoes off and walk into the living room. Your jaw drops when you see the sight in front of you. There is a large bowl filled with popcorn in the center of the coffee table in front of the large couch. There are also two glasses of wine, two more with water, and there are some of your favorite snacks on a platter. You walk further into the room and look around you in awe. There were fairy lights hung on the walls to make the lighting dimmer, and there were tons of pillows and blankets on the couch. You turn around and face Chase, and see him standing there with a bouquet of flowers. Chase was standing there sheepishly, looking extremely nervous, but happy all at the same time. He steps closer to you and holds out the flowers for you to take, which you do. "Y/N, I have wanted to tell you how I feel about you for a long time but could not find the way to do it.” Chase says then pauses for a moment. You’re so dumbfounded, and honestly can’t believe what you’re hearing. Robert Chase, the one who would tell you how he felt about Cameron, was now admitting that he loves you. “I put all of this together to show you just how I feel.” He comes over to you and takes your free hand in his. “I love you, Y/N. I have for a while now.” Chase finally finishes. You quickly press your lips to his, in a quick but gentle kiss, in which he reciprocates. You pull away with a smile. “I love you too, Robert.” You say and simply smile. “Now, how about we continue our plans for movie night?” You say with a smile.
For the rest of the night, you and Chase sit on his couch, the flowers he gave you lay on the table next to the now empty bowl of popcorn and glasses. The two of you are now asleep on the couch, your body curled into his while he has an arm around you protectively.
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Separation Part 2
Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x reader
Word count: ~3.8k
Summary: Picks up where the first part left off.
A/N: I was going to post something fluffy, but then I re-read the first part and decided I was a little mean with the cliffhanger. So here you go. Enjoy 😉
Warnings: angst, mentions of death, stalking, and divorce.
On your third morning staying with Nat and Yelena, you find yourself sitting alone at the coffee table staring off into space. You’ve been doing this a lot lately. No matter where you were, you were usually lost in thought about the events of the past week. You went to work yesterday because it was Friday and you had to, but today you plan to figure out your next move.
You probably should have considered this sooner, but you’d been distracted. Being with your friends was something that you hadn’t realized you’d missed as much as you did until you were here. They still worked during the day, but at night when they came home, you’d usually share a meal and maybe a movie while catching up on your days.
They both made sure to leave Wanda out of anything they talked about which you weren’t sure you were grateful for anymore. You had been wrestling with your guilt and hurt, but you were afraid that your guilt was winning out. You hated to think that Wanda was as miserable as you were right now, despite the fact that she made you feel horrible. You wanted to be angry with her, at least a part of you did, but the majority of you felt guilty for dragging out this miserable time in limbo for both of you. 
You sigh as you look to your bare hand with a frown. You haven’t worn your rings for the past few day. You had hoped that it would make you feel better, maybe less married, but it only made you feel worse. You had foolishly believed that taking them off would help distract you from your relationship. Instead, you just thought of the drawer that you’ve hidden them in every time you’ve looked at your hand.
You take a sip of the lukewarm coffee with a grimace before turning your attention to your dog. Boone’s adjusted so well to having his life turned upside down. You feel bad for taking him from his home with no explanation, or no plan in mind. You don’t think he minds too much because he can be with you most of the day, but you can’t help but think that he must be confused. 
He must miss Wanda. 
You know that you do. 
You briefly wonder what Wanda has been up to for the past few days, but you quickly shake your head in defeat. Thinking about her right now won’t help you make a decision that’s best for you. No matter how selfish it feels, you need to think about yourself for once. You can’t be influenced by Wanda right now. 
Wanda Maximoff had only been married for less than a year. She realizes that it isn’t that much time in the grand scheme of things, but this reassurance does nothing to keep her from feeling heartbroken about your absence. She’s decided to assume the worst at this point because she couldn’t convince herself that you would come back to her. The idea of you leaving her for good has left her feeling lost. She’s listless and only doing any work that’s put directly in front of her. Even then, she hands it to her brother to look over because she can’t trust her judgment right now. 
She had never expected anything like this to happen. After you’d gotten married, she hadn’t given much thought to you leaving her. You were both so happy, if a little stressed at times about her job, but you never fought like this. You had never left her for even a night, so your absence now, no matter how short, felt significant.
She realizes that she’s been shortsighted, and all of her anxieties about you leaving her had transferred from you walking out on her, to you being taken from her. That made her more vigilant and paranoid, if that’s even possible, and it’s certainly put a strain on you both. 
Wanda hadn’t imagined how she’d react to you walking out on her. She hadn’t imagined that she’d say something cruel to you and send you packing. Although she wasn’t handling it well at all, she was almost surprised that she’d only had a single drink with her brother that first night. Since then she hadn’t thought about drinking herself into a stupor despite how appealing the idea of numbing herself seemed.
She just wanted you to come back. 
Wanda lowers her head to the desk in front of her and buries her face in her arms with a sigh. She closes her eyes and tries to will away her stress headache. She had tried to convince herself that you’re gone for good because that’s what she feels like she deserves, but it’s not working. She can still feel herself holding out hope to hear from you again even though she knows that it may not be anytime soon. She certainly can’t expect any favors from you. 
She sits up slowly, as if rising from a deep sleep before she glances at her left hand. She can feel herself tearing up as she remembers the morning you gave her the ring on her finger. She’d been shocked but deeply touched by the thought you put into your proposal. She’d realized a long time ago that she loved you, but in that moment when you looked at her with so much adoration and hope, she’d realized that you really were it for her.
She wipes the tears from her ears just as she hears a knock followed by her brother’s voice. She resists the urge to curse before she tries to appear like she’s more put together than she truly is. Or at least not close to falling apart.
Yelena holds back a sigh as she unlocks her apartment later that night. You’d been staying with them for 3 days, and despite how much she likes having you around, this isn’t what she expected. She hates to see you so lost and uncertain, but she doesn’t know how to help you. She wishes she’d given Wanda a piece of her mind when she’d seen her yesterday, but she’d chosen to ignore her instead. She figured chewing out your wife wasn’t going to make anything about this easier. 
As she opens the door and is immediately greeted by two dogs, she forces a smile as she scratches them both. She’s not sure how you’re dealing with everything that’s happened to you. Although she’s sure you’re mostly focused on your marriage, it can’t be easy knowing that someone had tried to kill you because they blamed you for a family member’s death. No matter how far in the past it was, she’s sure you’re recalling every interaction you ever had with him. Yelena worried that you were carrying too much guilt, but when she’d tried to talk to you about it, you’d basically brushed her off. 
She figures that if she’s going to help you get through this, she needs to focus on what your next steps are. As much as she wouldn’t mind you moving in with her, she doesn’t want you to be miserable. 
She finds you napping on the couch and she figures you’d passed out there after making dinner. She still feels the heat of the oven as she walks back to the kitchen to fix you both a plate. She can’t be sure since she hasn’t been home most of the day, but she wouldn’t be surprised if you weren’t eating much. This was never a good sign. She wishes Natasha wasn’t busy tonight. She was always better when it came to having serious conversations. 
As Yelena walks around the dogs who are waiting patiently for their own dinner, she reminds herself that she’s at least grateful to have food as a buffer. 
You wake up to the smell of something that makes your stomach rumble irritably. You hadn’t eaten lunch and other than your cup of coffee and toast, you don’t think you’ve eaten today. You quickly try to push down your nausea as you sit up and look around for the source of the food. You don’t remember cooking, but then you see Yelena sitting at the table across the room with two plates and a questioning look. 
“Hungry?” 
You stand up and make your way over to the table, stopping to pet your dog before dropping into your chair. You nod and offer a small smile before glancing at the clock. It’s nearly 7 so you figure it’s just you and Yelena tonight. 
“How was work?”
Yelena considers her answer for a beat longer than normal before she shrugs and decides to be honest. She hadn’t had too much to do today, but she sensed that you needed time alone, so she hung out with Kate for most of the afternoon. 
“It wasn’t too busy. There’s not much going on at the moment.” 
You try to read between the lines, but you’re too hungry for that level of critical thinking. You take a couple of bites before you consider what you want to ask next. You feel pressured to give everyone an answer about what you’re going to do. You feel that they deserve a decision since they’re either waiting around for you to tell them if you’re divorcing them, or they’re letting you stay with them indefinitely. You feel yourself sweat merely at the thought of having to make such an important decision, but you can’t help it. 
You’ve taken three days to think about what Wanda said to you. You thought about how shitty it made you feel and how you questioned if she even loved you. Now, over 72 hours later, you think you finally have an answer to at least one question. 
“Did you…did you see Wanda at all?” 
Yelena’s surprised that you asked this, but she doesn’t have to think about her answer very long. She hasn’t seen Wanda around in the past few days. Honestly no one but Pietro had dared to seek her out. Yelena figures she’s locked herself away for the unforeseeable future. She never realized how similar you two were until these past few days. 
“No. I think Pietro’s the only one who’s seen her.” 
This makes your chest tighten with guilt and you have to stop yourself from considering what this could mean. Is Wanda working herself to death? Or is she not working at all? It’s hard to know, and you won’t find out unless you ask. That said, you’re not sure you want to know the answer. 
Yelena watches as you sigh heavily and drop your fork with a frown. She tries to predict what you’re going to say next, but you’re uncharacteristically hard to read as you stare blankly at the candle in the middle of the table.
“I don’t know what to do, Yelena. No matter how I look at it, I just—I can’t figure it out.” 
Yelena decides to abandon her plan to discuss this over dinner, and she pushes her chair back so she can stand. She moves to the chair beside you so you don’t feel like you’re being interrogated as she tries to get more information. She’s pretty sure you’re talking about Wanda, but she doesn’t want to put her foot in her mouth until she’s sure. 
“Look at what, Y/n?” 
You don’t respond immediately as you think about your wife’s cruel words in contrast to her actions of the past few years. You know that Wanda’s anxiety can get the best of her, and sometimes your attempts to help aren’t well received. That said, you’ve always believed that even during an argument, you’d never say something you didn’t mean. At least on some level. Either Wanda had been trying to hurt you, or she’d been voicing her insecurities about how your slightly different relationship has put you at higher risk. It didn’t really matter honestly because the end result was the same. 
Wanda had made you feel unwanted, unloved, and foolish. You had never imagined that Wanda would change her mind about being married to you. You thought that she understood the risks long before she walked down the aisle, but maybe you were wrong. You remember telling Wanda once, after a close call one night, that you’d be willing to learn how to fire a gun. You’d been willing to do whatever Wanda wanted you to in order for her to feel more confident in your ability to protect yourself. She just wanted you to be safe, and you realized now that doing just the bare minimum may not be enough. 
Then again, if you knew your wife which you liked to think you did, at least until this happened, you aren’t sure that anything you do will ever be enough. Her job put her at risk of being targeted daily, and anyone who associated with her was also at risk. Regardless of this making sense, you’d found it hard to reconcile the fact that people truly cared about you enough to come after you. Even though it had happened a few times, it was only recently that you’d realized it wasn’t about you. It was about Wanda, and until she wasn’t at the center of her criminal empire, you both would be at risk. 
You shake your head before you can contemplate the myriad of ways you could be targeted. You lean against your friend who immediately puts an arm around you. 
“If I stay with Wanda, as long as she’s working, something like this could happen again. We could end up in the exact same place, if not worse. No matter what I do, I can’t offset the risks associated with her job.” 
Yelena doesn’t want to tell you that you’re absolutely right, but luckily, she doesn’t have to. You’re too smart for your own good sometimes. 
You sigh in frustration at yourself and your damn stubborn wife before you say what you’d decided only really a few hours after crashing at your friends’ place. 
“So now I Just have to decide if I risk a shitshow like this again, or if dare ask Wanda to give up her job.” 
You frown at the mere thought because although you’re not saying it, both you and Yelena understand. 
You’re going to stay married and face the highs and lows associated with that, or you’re going to break up because you already know that Wanda won’t just quit. 
Now all that’s left is for you to make a decision. 
It takes two days for Wanda to go home. She’d been camping out in her old rooms at the compound because she couldn’t face going home to an empty house. It wasn’t until Monday evening that her brother practically kicked her out and told her to take tomorrow off. She hated the idea of just sitting around and thinking, but she’d been too tired to argue. She still wasn’t sure if she was going to do as he asked when she arrived home, but that was tomorrow’s problem.
Wanda arrives to a dark house and she almost turns around until she realizes how long of a drive she’d be in for. Instead she pulls into the garage and trudges reluctantly into the house. It’s as quiet as she thought it would be, and she simply stands with her back against the door for a few minutes as she takes in the silence. She hates herself for causing this. For speaking to you the way she did, and for being the reason you were targeted in the first place.
Eventually she walks over to the kitchen and turns on the light. She loses track of time as she stands against the counter trying to figure out what to do next. She’s not hungry, but she knows she’ll regret going to bed without eating. She can’t force herself ot think about food; however, so she just stands in the kitchen until the urge to do something strikes. 
This doesn’t come until nearly 20 minutes later when she’s surprised by the sound of the doorbell. It takes her a few seconds to process the sound and then she’s reaching for her phone to see if anyone’s mentioned coming over. She frowns when the most recent message is from her brother nearly 30 minutes ago. 
Someone’s going to come visit you soon.
Wanda frowns at the cryptic message, but given that this person is not likely to try and rob her she heads for the front door with a sigh. She wonders what Steve or Bucky might want, but she doesn’t get very far. She’s too tired to think and she just switches on the outside lights before opening the door.
Wanda notices Boone first because it’s hard not to when he’s sitting with his nose mere inches from the door. His furry face appears through the threshold almost before the door’s completely opened and Wanda jumps in surprise. He leans further inside and rubs his head on her leg with a loud whine. Wanda’s too shocked to pet him, but he doesn’t seem to mind as he runs past her into the house. 
It’s not until he’s left that Wanda realizes that you’re standing much farther back at the top of the stairs with an unreadable expression. She feels equal parts dread and excitement at seeing you, and she has to stop herself from asking a dozen questions. 
“Hi Wands.” 
You had second guessed your decision to come home like this several times before you and Boone left, and then a few times on the way here. You should have waited until tomorrow, but Pietro had told you that he had ordered Wanda to go home, and you figured this was your best shot of talking with her. You made sure that Pietro told her to expect you so she wasn’t surprised, but looking at her now, you wonder if he bothered. 
You offer a small smile and that seems to kick Wanda’s brain back into gear and she’s dropping her hand from the door and moving aside with a dazed look. 
“Y/n. Hi. Come in. Come in.” 
You mutter a thanks under your breath, despite how strange it feels to be invited into your own house. You shove your hands into your pockets as you take a few steps inside before turning back to Wanda after she’s shut the door. You don’t really want to do this here, but you’re afraid that if you go in any further, you might not leave. 
“Can we talk?” 
The words send a shiver up Wanda’s spine, but she doesn’t hesitate to nod. She’s only wanted you to talk to her for close to a week. 
You were going to just have this uncomfortable conversation in the middle of the foyer, but then you look at Wanda again and frown. You probably should have called ahead because she looks exhausted and you aren’t sure you’ll have her full attention unless you let her sit down. You nod toward the living room and lead the way with a sigh. 
“Let’s sit. I’m sure you’ve had a long day.” 
You wait until she’s sitting on the couch across from you before you try to figure out what to say first. You allow yourself the short distraction of petting Boone when he comes up to you, but you know that you’ve dragged this out long enough. Too long honestly. 
“I think we’re both exhausted, so I’ll make this quick, okay?” 
Wanda doesn’t like the sound of this at all, so she says nothing, but you take her silence as acceptance. She feels her stress start to climb with each word you say, but she waits patiently for you finish. 
“I’ve been thinking about it a lot, and I know that you love me. I’d like to think that you wouldn’t have married me otherwise, but that doesn’t mean we both don’t have our doubts. Maybe not about being married specifically, but assuming the risk associated with it. Risk that granted, you understand a lot more than I do.”
Wanda tries not to look like she’s in anguish as you stop to figure out how to be as honest as possible, but not as cruel as you’d like to be. 
“I realize that fear is likely the reason why you said what you did, but even so it made me realize that we’re not on the same page.” 
You try to get a read on Wanda, but even as tired as she is, she hides her thoughts well. You figure it’s for the best because you didn’t want her to sway your decision. You take a deep breath before you stand up and move to sit beside Wanda. There are at least a few feet between you, but you felt the need to be closer for what you say next. 
“I need you to know that I will do everything I can to be with you for as long as possible. I know we can’t eliminate every risk, but if the alternative is not getting to be with you at all, I’ll deal. We both will.” 
Wanda’s too nervous to breathe or even move as she waits for you to continue. She’s afraid that any wrong move and she’ll realize that she’s hallucinated all of this and that she’s still in her house alone. She doesn’t realize that her fears are simply getting the best of her again until you move a little closer and reach out for her hand. 
“In return, I need you to do something for me. I need you to have faith, to trust that everything will work out. And if you can’t please talk to me about it. We can’t keep fighting about this Wanda.”
Wanda’s crying at this point, but she doesn’t even bother to wipe her tears away as she watches you dig into your pocket and take out your rings. She’s still wearing hers, and she can’t pretend that the absence of yours doesn’t make her feel disconsolate. 
You place them in her palm with a sigh and close her fingers around them with a small smile. 
“I want you to hold onto these for me. After only a few days of pretending to not be married to you, I already want to put them back on, but I need to wait until I no longer have doubts about what you said.”
Wanda feels her tears start to fall faster as the familiar feeling of shame washes over her at the reminder of what she said to you. You don’t look mad though and that’s the only thing that keeps her from stuttering out a rambling apology. You seem hopeful and your smile is enough for her to feel the same way. You will both come back from this. 
“I know it’s a lot to ask, Wands, but can you do that for me?” 
Despite knowing that she’d agree to nearly anything that you asked of her right now, she hesitates for a moment as she squeezes the rings in her palm. She takes a deep breath before nodding in agreement. When she watches your smile widen, she feels hope bloom in her chest.
“Yes. I-I can do that.” 
Masterlist
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kining-the-evil · 1 year
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Heyy I was wondering if you would write up some good ole' Greg house angst? His gf didn't make it through her surgery kinda stuff. Make it as heart breaking as possible >:)
Lova ya work ! :D
Whatever You Think Is Best
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//Summary// Greg makes a call, but was it the right one?
//Warnings// Reader is dying, being extremely sick, hospitals, brain surgery, death, feelings of guilt
//an// thank you so much anon! I’m glad you like my writing!
House md Taglist: @tuttifuckinfruttifriday
House md Masterlist All masterlists
The first time he met you, Greg decided immediately that you were just like every other person in the world. Completely miserable, but pretending to be kind to everybody. When you started showing up more and more, he considered it a fluke that would fix itself. He’d say something insensitive, and your storm out with plans to never see him again. But you didn’t. You kept coming back, making him actually talk instead of just insulting each other and forcing him to be more, human. At one point, he almost thought fate existed. There was no way someone like you could just accidentally themselves onto his lap. But you were there, holding him up in the best way you knew how during hard points in his life. He didn’t think he’d have to try and repay the favor.
“Good morning,” You greeted as Greg walked into the kitchen. You set the dishes you’d been cleaning down to walk over and greet him, but he frozen when you kissed his cheek.
“What did you just say?”
You pulled back, a slight frown on your face. “Good morning?”
He looked down at his watch before glancing back at you. “It’s 4:55. Pm.”
No, that couldn’t be right. You’d gotten up, made breakfast, started cleaning… then what? Your mind seemed to not be sure.
“You’ve also already said that to me, this morning. You did exactly what you just did…” Greg passed you to glance in the sink. “And you were washing the same plate. Let me see your hands.”
You held them out, and the moment they touched them it felt like they had been set on fire. That’s when you realized that they were bright red with blotches of white, bleeding in multiple places.
“Wha- I didn’t, I didn’t even notice.” You hissed slightly at his touch, pulling them back. Now that you could feel the pain, it was awful.
“We need to get to a doctors.”
————————
One week. 7 whole days. That was how long you’d been in the hospital, and Greg was getting impatient. When he checked you in you were frazzled and had second degree burns from the hot water running on them all day, but now he wished that all it was.
You were having episodes of memory loss and confusion, Extrems head aches, vision that went back and forth with being blurry, and your vitals were getting worse and worse. You were dying and he had no idea why.
“Nothing,” Wilson sighed, allowing Greg to snatch the test from his hands. He had forced his friend to test for any possible cancer, even if it didn’t fit your symptoms.
“It can be ‘nothing’” he snapped. “ ‘nothing’ doesn’t kill you!” Before Wilson could think of a response both of their pagers went off, once again dragging them to your room.
“Don’t touch me!” You yelled at Chase while messing with the I.V in your arm.
“What happened?” House questioned, seeing you through the glass door.
“Another episode,” Forman mumbled. He and Chase had gone in to check your IV, and something set you off. “She doesn’t know where she is house, she wants to leave.”
Greg sighed, but walked into the room. When you saw him, you seemed to relax a bit. “Greg! What- what’s happening?” Your voice cracked a bit, and he walked forward to take your hand away from where your IV was.
“Don’t mess with that, you’ve just got to trust me.” He watched as your kind tried to catch up with what he was saying.
“I don’t-“
“House!” You both looked over to where Chase was still standing. “Look at her ear.”
Greg moved your head a bit, reaching up to touch the side of it. He pulled his hand back while you frowned at him. “What is it?”
“Blood, you’re bleeding from your ear.”
————————
“New symptom, bleeding from the ear. What could it be?” Greg write it down on the board that had far to many symptoms on it, in his opinion. After a moment of silence, he turned around to look at the group. “Hello? Am I Talking to anyone?”
“She needs a craniectomy,” Forman finally said. “The brain is swelling, would explain the bleeding and if something is pushing on the brain then it could be messing with her memory.”
“Yes, let’s take off a portion of her skull on the scientific explanation of ‘could.’” He mocked, making a face at Foreman.
“He’s right,” Cameron spoke up. “Any other patient and you would Have agreed.”
Greg took a breath, rubbing a hand over his face. He knew fully well they were right, that if the swelling didn’t go down then their wouldn’t be anything to diagnose.
“Fine, get the forms signed and an OR booked.”
—————
“You want to remove a part of my skull?” You asked the three doctors. Your legs were tucked under you, your right hand handcuffed to the bed, just incase you go off again.
“Just to get the swelling down, then we will put it back.” Forman explained. “All three of us will be in the OR during the surgery, but it is a dangerous surgery. You could, like with any surgery, bleed out while it’s happening. But you could also get an infection in the brain, and given how weak your immune system is right now, that could be bad.”
You glance at each of them, unsure of what to say. “What-what does Greg think?” You finally ask.
“He, agrees this is the next logical step,” Chase said.
“Then I’ll do it,” you quickly decide. “He’s the one in charge of medical decisions if I’m unable to make them, so if he thinks I should then I will.”
“Are you sure-“
“Sign here,” Chase cut Cameron off, handing over the forms. “And we will get an OR prepped.”
You took the paper, quickly signing everything and handing it back. “Could you call Greg for me?”
“Of course,” Forman gave you small smile before all three of them left.
While waiting you glanced down at the cuff keeping you in the bed. Despite how hard you tried to not fight against it, the skin was still rubbed raw. It hurt, but was just another pain to add to the rest of them.
“You agreed to the surgery.” You glanced up to see Greg walking into the room. “With little encouragement.”
“They said you thought it was the right move,” you shrugged. “I don’t know anything about this stuff and I trust you.”
“Why Are You so calm about this?”
“I told you, if you think it’s the best idea, so I’ll do it.”
“No, that’s your reason to do it.” He corrected you. “Any sane person would be terrified to have a surgery like this.”
“Greg, there are moments where I have no idea what is happening or where I am. That’s what scares me. This… just doesn’t seem as bad.” He watches you like your an animal at the zoo, like he’s trying to decipher whatever is actually happening in your head.
“Ok.”
—————
Greg stood watching the surgery, eyes jumping between where you were being cut into and where your vitals were being monitored.
“It can’t be healthy to watch this,” Wilson spoke from beside his friend.
“Just checking on my patient.”
“She’s going to be fine.”
“I know,” Greg quickly snapped. He didn’t like this, the emotional connection to a patient. It’s easier to suggest things like this when you don’t love the patient.
A sudden movement caught his eyes, making him frown. Everyone in the room was rushing around, and when he looked at your vitals he found a flat line.
“Shit.” Greg moved as quickly as he could, even excepting Wilson’s help so that he could get there faster. Just as he opened to OR door, the word ‘clear’ was being shouted followed by a small shock.
“Get him out of here.” Chase pointed over at house, and a few people walked over to led him out.
“Get off me!” He snapped, trying to push towards you. It wasn’t until he hit one’s foot with his cane that he got through, grabbing the paddles from Chase.
“Clear,” a shock.
“Clear” another shock.
“Clear.” Another
“Cl-“
“House, Stop!” Forman attempted to grab the paddles, but Greg would let go. If he let go, it lent you would die.
“No,” he mumbled. His mind was going a million miles a second. “No, I can’t stop.” He was so in his mind that he didn’t notice Wilson behind him until he was being dragged out of the room.
“Don’t,” Wilson snapped after shoving Greg onto a seat outside of the OR and saw him try to get back up.
“I’m not just letting her die!” Greg yelled, but Wilson just stood there, making sure his friend wouldn’t try and run back in. Luckily, it was only around 20 minutes before Cameron came out.
“She’s on Life Support, but is brain dead,” she explained. “Cuddy said half an hour before they pull the plug. So you can say good bye.”
“No point,” Greg spoke. “She can’t hear me. She’s already dead.”
“God damn it, just go do it,” Wilson snapped. “I’m going to, she was my friend. And you need to, or you’ll regret it.”
Although telling anyone who would listen that it didn’t matter, he waited outside of the room you were in. He watched as multiple people walked in to say final goodbyes, waiting until he was the only person left. He had five minutes.
Greg knew what it looked like when a person was hooked up to something like this, but seeing you like that felt wrong. A tube down your throat, multiple needles in your body, all meant to keep you alive for a little longer. He wanted to walk out, but with Wilson’s words echoing in his head he didn’t. Instead, he walked closer to the bed.
Slowly, he reached a hand out to touch your face lightly. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I should have figured it out, you shouldn’t be here. It’s my fault.” He felt tears burning his eyes, and as bad as he wanted to hold them back, he just couldn’t. “I’m so sorry.”
He just stood there, letting tears fall while rubbing your face. It was cold, to cold. Only a week ago you’d been your normal, smiling self, and now you were here. All because he couldn’t solve the puzzle. A hand came to rest on his shoulder that he immediately recognized as Cuddy.
“It’s time. You may want to step out.”
He made no move to leave, and When Cuddy realized he wouldn’t she just nodded. He wouldn’t look at anything else but your face as the sound of the machines being turned off or the sound of you flatlining. Your chest stoped moving.
“Time of death, 11:45 pm.” Cuddy’s voice spoke. With a nod Greg leaned down, planting a kiss on your forehead and whispering a final apology.
—————
Fungal infection. The autopsy showed you had a simple fungal infection in the spinal cord, which had caused everything. The swelling in the brain was caused by the meds they had given you. A round of anti-fungal would have saved you. If they had figured it out, you would have been fine.
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sasusakucoded · 5 months
Text
The 7th Hokage visited Sasuke and invited him to an izakaya [pub] for some drinks to congratulate him for his latest mission.
Sasuke: You're just making up excuses to leave work and drink.
Naruto: *laughs* Well, you may be or you may not be wrong.
Waiter: Sasuke-san! Long time! *looks at Naruto* Oh, your best friend visited you?
Sasuke: No, my wife is at home.. I'll take the usual. Just double it for his order.
Waiter: Got it! *leaves*
Naruto: Teme, what's with wrong with you?? Am I not your best friend??
Sasuke: No. Sakura is obviously my best friend. Your best friend is Hinata.
Naruto: No— I mean— It doesn't work that way! You can be married but not necessarily—
Sasuke: *sighs* I consider you as my brother.
Naruto: Oh. Of course! *smiles widely* I'll take that! That's better than a best friend!
Sasuke: Whatever pleases you..
Naruto: *laughs* Before I left the village, one old man died..
Sasuke: What does that have to do with me?
Naruto: Listen first, dattebayo! *sips water* The guy's wife died a month earlier. He died because of sadness..
Sasuke: *nods*
Naruto: That's it? That's your reaction?
Waiter: *walks back* Here's your order! *places the snacks and drinks on their table*
Sasuke: Thanks. *nods at the waiter as it leaves*
Naruto: Hey, no reaction to my story? *takes a bite from the karaage*
Sasuke: *takes a tempura* What's so surprising about it?
Naruto: What do you mean what's so surprising?
Sasuke: If my parents didn't die together and my mother dies before my dad, I'm sure he'd die after a month.
Naruto: What makes you say that?
Sasuke: *chugs his beer* My mom was perfect. My people.. The Uchiha.. Are greatly devoted to love.
Naruto: *chugs his beer too*
Sasuke: *wipes his mouth* Sakura is the same as my mom. She's perfect just like her.
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Naruto: *nods; gets tempura*
Sasuke: I really think that the most harrowing idea is that I'd spend any part of my life without her. *chugs his beer again*
Naruto: You mean when you're away from her?
Sasuke: No.. Usuratonkachi, I thought we're talking about death?
Naruto: S-Sorry! Well..
Sasuke: Being far from her— I can take that.. *gets gyoza* Because I know she's always there waiting for me..
Naruto: But being dead is way different, you're saying?
Sasuke: If she's gone forever, that would be a level of loneliness and irreplaceable— Iredeemable emotional desolation that I couldn't possibly contemplate. *finishes his beer mug*
Naruto: Whoa! That's— That's deep.. But I totally understand..
Sasuke: So yeah.. If she will die first, I'm sure I won't last a week. I'll follow her..
Naruto: Don't say that! You still have Sarada if that happens. *calls the waiter to fill their mugs again*
Sasuke: Sarada is my 2nd best friend. She'll understand me. She won't let me be miserable. By then, most likely she has her own family..
Naruto: *nods*
Sasuke: If my daughter will allow me to go, I will. If she will ask me to live, I will. Because I know Sakura will also follow Sarada's decision if she's in that situation..
Naruto: ...
Sasuke: ...
Naruto: Sasuke.. Why are you so sure that Sakura will die first?
Sasuke: I made a promise that I will live past her..
Naruto: To take care of her?
Sasuke: Yes, but more importantly, I won't let her suffer because of me again.. I know the pain of losing your loved one..
Naruto: Yeah..
Sasuke: I will not let her experience that pain.
Naruto: *smiles*
Sasuke: Are you drunk? We only had one glass? You're red and smiling like an idiot.
Naruto: I'm not!! *laughs* I'm just.. I'm just happy that you think that way.
Sasuke: Hm?
Naruto: You're my best friend, my brother.. And so is Sakura. She's a sister to me.. So, hearing you talking about her like that makes me happy.
Sasuke: You're too emotional over a glass of beer. *shakes his head*
Naruto: Hey, you were the one being really deep about love moments ago!!
Sasuke: *laughs*
Naruto: We should.. We should have more meetings like this, you know. Let's invite our wives next time. Or maybe a team reunion.. Something like that.
Sasuke: I see, you're really making a list of excuses to get away from work, huh..
Naruto: I told you, I'm not!!
Sasuke: *smirks* Yeah.. Breaks like this is good too.
Naruto: See? You also enjoyed my company!
Sasuke: I didn't say that. Don't be assuming.
Naruto: Sasuke!!!
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caratbong17 · 6 months
Text
An eye for an eye, pt. 3
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Member: Fem!Reader x s.coups
Synopsis: SEUNGCHEOL cheats on y/n not knowing that she is pregnant.
Genre: angst
Word Count:
Warnings: angsty as hell, mildest violence ever, cheating, swearing
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Pounding.
That’s all Seungcheol could register as he came to the next morning. He knew he wouldn’t have felt as if a truck ran him over if he had stopped drinking after Y/n caught him at the bar the night before.
After his brother-in-law left him for the night to turn-in, Seungcheol found it to be the best of ideas to drink some more. He knew where Jeonghan kept all his hard liquor. There had been many nights before where Jeonghan broke out those bottles with is best friend…
The day Seungcheol and Jeonghan bought the house, the one they were currently in, together.
The day that the pair received their respective diplomas from SNU.
The day that Seungcheol asked Jeonghan for permission to marry Y/n, because as Seungcheol stated ‘All family members’ opinions mattered’.
The night after Y/n said yes to Seungcheol’s proposal.
The night of Seungcheol’s bachelors, the night before one of the most important days of Seungcheol’s, currently miserable, life.
… So in Seungcheol’s head, it was a fantastic idea to crack open a bottle of whisky on the night his life ran to shit…
Opening his eyes Seungcheol blearily took in his position and surroundings. He was draped over the edge of Jeonghan’s massive sofa, only a miniscule amount of the blanket he had bee handed was covering his cold body. Y/n usually kept him warm during the night, he was his wife’s personal radiator. An empty whisky bottle lay on the glass coffee table next to him.
Scanning the rest of his surroundings Seungcheol decided that it was to early to deal with the consequences of his actions and closed his sleep crusted eyes once more.
As he started drifting off his brain soon started registering what his eyes had taken in. He shot up, eyes immediately drawn to the body sleeping on the single-seater next to him.
There was a body. Curled up in a ball, covered by a fluffy blanket. The body clutched the blanket as if it would protect it and its inhabitants from all the evil the world had to offer it, to keep it warm and filled with happiness as it should have been in the first place.
Seungcheol sat up, looking as much of a mess as he felt, and stared.
Stared.
And stared some more.
That stare was returned by the body in the single seater. The body’s eyes as hard as steel, keeping as much of its emotions in as it possibly could.
“Hannie let me in last night…” The body broke the silence, its voice as steely as its eyes.
“Y/n-ah…”
“I’m going to the kitchen…” Y/n didn’t want to talk, that much was clear to Seungcheol, but they had to talk. Anything they had said to each other the night before could not be considered talking. With Seungcheol apologising and accusing, and Y/n yelling and crying, neither of the two would consider that talking, much less proper communication.
Seungcheol guesses that that is what lead them to this point in the first place.
Lack of communication.
If either of them had just communicated, just talked, just told the other that there was something happening within their relationship, bodies, and minds, they would not be the two piles of mess that they are.
Y/n uncurled and unwrapped her fuzzy cocoon and silently padded towards Jeonghan’s kitchen. Seungcheol did the same. He stood up, smoothed his shirt, attempted to make his hair less unruly and headed to the kitchen to join his lover.
Once he reached the kitchen , Seungcheol found the two siblings moving about in silence. Neither was a morning person, but they both up and about, quietly seeking comfort from one another at eight in the morning on a Saturday.
Jeonghan, partially wrapped in his own fluffy blanket moved about getting everything ready for their daily morning coffee (decaf because Y/n is pregnant and Jeonghan does not like caffeine).
The older sibling was the first to realise that Seungcheol had followed his wife into the kitchen. Seungcheol was met with similar steely eyes to the one’s he woke up to.
“Oh, you’re awake…” It was more than what Seungcheol had expected from his best friend, he was expecting his entire existence to be ignored by the other, Jeonghan had ignored him for less…
like when the couple had to Jeonghan that they were dating,
or when Seungcheol ate the last tub of ice-cream.
“Y/n, what do you want to eat? I don’t think there’s much in the pantry, but I’m sure I can whip something up…” Jeonghan headed to the pantry to see what he could scavenge for them to eat so long.
“What do you have?” Y/n’s voice was raspy. How had Seungcheol not heard it before? It’s the type of rasp that accompanies red eyes and tear-filled nights. Seungcheol felt his heart shatter a bit more than it already had.
“Hmm… let us see… I’ve got pancake mix?”
“No”
“Kimchi and rice?”
“No”
“Fruit? Apples… pears… banana? It should help with any nausea?”
“Nah”
“Cake mix? It might take a while though.”
“What kind of cake?”
“Vanilla sponge?”
“No thanks”
“Well that’s all I have right now… My fridge is bare. I’ve been eating out or at other people’s places quite a bit recently…” Jeonghan looked somewhat apologetic for not having anything sustainable for the pregnant female to eat.
“I feel like a burger. A McDonald’s burger.” This was the first time since last night that there was a sparkle in Y/n’s eye, even if it was small, it was still there.
Jeonghan wasted no time, heading upstairs to grab his phone, leaving the couple alone in his kitchen.
It’s never too early for takeout.
The two sat in silence, neither daring to speak, much like earlier. Seungcheol felt like he needed to say something... anything… to make the situation at least a bit better than its current state. He opened and closed his mouth a couple of times. I should just go for it…
“I’m sorry…” At least it’s a start… “I know that I said it last night, I know that I will never be able to say it enough, and I know that it won’t make up for what I’ve done but it’s the only thing I can say without making excuses… Y/n, I love you, and I definitely don’t expect you to forgive me at all, much less this quickly… all I want is for you to say something… anything… scream… beat the shit out of me… but please… please… don’t leave me… don’t cry… don’t hurt yourself to make us work… don’t pretend to be okay when we both know that you’re not. The only thing that will bring is making us both feel like crap.”
Y/n sat on the bar stool looking at her hands…have my fingers always been this stubby? The longer she stared at her fingers the blearier they got. Y/n didn’t want to cry again, but she knew it was inevitable, what with the pregnancy hormones, and the fact that her husband cheated on her the night before.
Y/n knew what need to be done… she knew that the words that were about to leave her mouth would change their relationship for the foreseeable future… for better or for worse…
“Let’s stop this…”
There’s no turning back now
“…let’s separate…”
The sound of two hearts breaking resonated in the room silently.
“The food is on its way. It should be here in the next 15 minutes. What did I miss?”
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rougevingirl · 7 months
Note
bobal (9) - jenna ortega please? ❤️‍🩹
❝Unfinished Paths❞
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Character: Tara Carpenter
Words: 1117
Warnings: none
Wine: Bobal
Number: 9
Prompt: exes to lovers - both ending up in the same small town 8 years later…what could possibly happen?
❝prompts with wine❞
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I really tried to write for Jenna, but as the text developed I realized that it was better for Tara, nothing makes much sense, but I hope you like it. There's no happy ending here, just anguish.
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"It's so strange that we've ended up here together after all these years, but you still don't want to talk to me. You're just going to spend the whole evening drinking wine and eating takeaway, aren't you?" she asked. You had no idea why you always had to talk about these things now, always at the wrong time. Why couldn't you just get on with it as an adult? 
"Are you sure you don't want to get drunk one last time before you leave for New York? We haven't done that since we graduated from high school." - It was true; you hadn't even realized it until now. Should you have known that your only friend and girlfriend, ex now, would be living in New York City after she finally graduated, after all the turbulent events how could she go on in Woodboro? You should have known that one day that relationship would end and leave a gaping wound in your chest, even after years it still hurt so much... And yet, he didn't seem to care. Could it be that she was so used to it? So used to it that she no longer missed him?  Miss the relationship they had?
No, it wasn't that at all. No. There was something else bothering her. The point was that there was nothing wrong with her. She had always been kind to you, and still was. She was kind and helpful and very pretty. But it was more than that. The way she said things made them seem a little different from what they really were. Not in a bad way, of course, because how would she know what she wanted if her life revolved around the past, around what other people wanted? She probably wouldn't understand that at all, she wouldn't understand herself. It was just that she seemed to expect you to respond in the same way that everyone else did. And that... wasn't right at all.
There was something else wrong with her, you realized now, something beyond all the troubled events of the last few years. The reason you never wanted to think about her again was because you knew exactly what it was. Because you remembered. You had been best friends before graduation. Girlfriends. And then she'd gone to New York City and you'd broken up and then barely talked for months. Now, suddenly, you were back in the same city? What had happened between then and now? Why did you feel so lonely? What was she hiding? What had changed? Why was everything so much easier before than now? Everything was still "the same", but it felt like things had changed so much. Why couldn't you understand? Why couldn't you see the signs? Why couldn't she? Was there a part of her that wasn't even there anymore? Something inside her was gone. You knew that. He had seen it happen many times before. But when? When? Where? Had it been before or after graduation? Had you even had a normal conversation? Or were you the only one who had noticed? It was so strange; you wished you could just ask her the questions you were thinking, but you didn't think she would answer them anyway. And you really didn't want to know.
"I'm sorry to keep bringing it up," she continued. "But it seems that every time I try to mention it, you run away like the plague. Remember our first date? Remember how uncomfortable we were at first? Remember how nervous and awkward we were when we tried to kiss? Can't we just start again?"
Yes. Yes, they could. You remembered. You also remembered that it had been amazing and wonderful, everything that should happen with a first kiss. So why did you feel so miserable now? You looked down at the table, remembering those days. Your eyes fixed on his face before you slowly shook your head in denial. "That's not it at all. We went on lots of dates and kissed several times. Don't get me wrong. I love kissing you. More than anything. And I can promise you that I would never push you away to avoid kissing you." It may have sounded silly, but honestly, you meant every word you were saying. You loved kissing her. It had been the only time you had really felt happy, fulfilled and alive. It had been perfect. And maybe you needed to go out with her to forget about it for a while and create new memories with someone else. Someone other than her. And Tara, someone who wasn't you. "But I can't. I really like you. But I can't..."
She frowned in confusion, also looking perplexed. "Why? If that's really the case, then why are you so determined not to see me, not to be with me?"
Because you couldn't do that. "Because I want to. Very much. I want to see you all the time. But I can't. Because my life is here in Woodsboro. This is my home. And I don't belong anywhere else. I mean, it may sound silly, but I love this town. It's where I belong. My family is here. And my work is here. And my friends are here, and my girlfriend is here..." You stopped when she opened her mouth to speak again. That was very difficult to explain. You had to find some kind of excuse. "And I've decided to stay here, I know everything that's happened has been terrible, but I'm just leaving here to pursue my life in Boston, where my girlfriend's family lives. And maybe I'll go on like this forever. Maybe it's selfish, but I'm not going to let anything else ruin my perfect life here in Woodsboro or Boston maybe..."
She stared at you, clearly not liking the answer that came out of your mouth. Her lips formed an "o", obviously not expecting it. "I see," she finally replied. She stood up abruptly and turned to leave the restaurant. "Well then, I guess we should move on. Goodbye, Y/n. Have a good night."
You said nothing. Simply watched her walk away. You hated yourself so much. You were a coward. It was just that you were afraid. Afraid to accept what had happened before your graduation. Afraid to accept what was happening now. Afraid that maybe it was a big mistake, a sign, something that would change everything. And, above all, afraid that you were falling in love with someone who wouldn't fall in love with who you were now. That was your biggest fear. That you would become just another person she would fall in love with, but who would never be good enough.
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© rougevingirl - scream and horror writer
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darlingkirstein · 30 days
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im just curious about your headcanon for their job (for eremika and jeanpiku if that's alright)
this question has truly thrown me for such a giant loop because im super indecisive! so i thought instead of choosing one option, i could list a few plausible options for the characters! these are just the jobs that came to mind for some reason. im sure i could come up with others but this are the first that i decided on, and i tried to choose jobs that are a little more unorthodox to be unique 🩷
also sorry for how long this has taken ! i know you've been waiting for this for a while 🫶
Eremika
— Eren Jaeger!
Physical/recreational therapist: I can imagine him wanting to help people but not wanting to be a hospital doctor or anything like that. He seems like he'd be a pretty active guy so I think a job where he gets to help people and also move around and help clients move around and recover from injury would be both fulfilling and fun for him at the same time! Or even recreational therapy, getting to help people through different activities!
Small business owner: I can see him taking the charge and owning his own business, maybe with the help of his parents with a small investment to get it started. Mikasa might also help with this when she has spare time because she wants to support him! I'm thinking something that incorporates his love of cooking, like a bakery or food shop?
Stuntman/stunt coordinator: This one is more for fun but I love picturing him as a stunt man for movies. He would get a kick out of the thrill it gives him if he's actively participating or he'd find it satisfying to coordinate really interesting stunt work. Mikasa would always be fearful that he's gonna injure himself.
— Mikasa Ackerman!
Bookstore employee: I don't know why, but I think Mikasa would love working around a quiet environment with books. Getting to provide recommendations and organize the shelves makes her feel accomplished without over-stressing her. She loves reading so the employee discount is definitely a big benefit.
Speech-language pathologist: I'm biased here because this is what I'm studying! But I think Mikasa could thrive in this job! Getting to help people struggling with communication is really fulfilling and she gets to challenge herself to find creative solutions. I think she would love working with children, helping them fix their speech sounds, or even with adults, helping with different disorders.
Daycare owner/lead employee: I think a lot of us agree that even in our modern AUs, Mikasa didn't have the happiest childhood. So, I think she tries to make sure that other children have the best possible childhood around. She would be very attentive to all their needs because she's naturally great with kids. Eren would find this so endearing and it would really give me lots of baby fever when she comes home and talks about the kiddos.
Jeanpiku
— Jean Kirstein!
Gonna start off by saying that I feel like Jean initially settles for an office job because he feels like he has to be a big breadwinner and have a stable, high-paying job but it ends up making him rather miserable so he quits to pursue other jobs.
Art restoration: I know the idea of Jean being an artist is kinda overplayed since he only draws once but I am so attached to it. But here I'm specifically thinking of him restoring old/damaged paintings for museums or for people's personal collections. He probably finds comfort in seeing the pretty paintings come back to life after being so dull. He takes it super seriously since it's so technical so he's very proud of his work and the results!
Something in the restaurant/food industry: Jean loves cooking so much! He would want to share his cooking with others. He might work at a restaurant making good or maybe even as a cooking instructor? I think that even if his job isn't in the food industry that he still volunteers his time to cook for people in need because it's something he's passionate about.
Art therapist: In a similar vein to art restoration, I am imagining him as an art therapist, trying to help people with their struggles through various forms of art. It's probably therapeutic to him, so sharing that therapy with others is so sweet to me. I think would love to work with children especially, just getting to see them smile after they've gone through some rough things :)
— Pieck Finger!
Something in journalism: Pieck would get a kick out of writing small articles for different papers or magazines, or even in the newspaper (even if it's a dying medium). She gets to show a more creative side while making a living and she also gets to work from home which is great because she's kind of a homebody! She gets to be comfortable while writing her fun articles :)
Accent/dialect coach: This is also kind of a half-serious one like the stunt coordinator one for Eren. I feel like Pieck would be weirdly good at accents, like stupidly good. So she might have fun working with actors either in bigger shows/movies or in local theatre productions to change accents.
Editor: Another job that could be done from home, I think she would like editing people's books or articles or anything to make them better. She finds it fun and satisfying to correct mistakes and make suggestions, and it's so fun because she can work on stuff from her bedroom if she so desired. Maybe she both writes and edits and just switches off depending on the day/helping out her writer friends by editing their work for them.
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sidekick-hero · 1 year
Text
Lay all your love on me
This is for Alice (@yournowheregirl), who had this wonderful idea of Eddie taking care of a sad Steve. I tried to make it as soft and loving as possible and I really hope you like it!
Happy Valentine's Day, my dear 💜
(steddie | explicit | 4.6k | AO3 Link)
Valentine's Day used to be something Steve loved.
Back in the old days, when he had ruled the halls of Hawkins High and all the pretty girls had hoped to be his sweetheart for that day, to find a card from the Steve Harrington in their locker, Valentine’s Day had been his favorite day of the year.
With Nancy, it had also been a pretty great day. He had learned that she liked the ballet, so on their second Valentine's Day together, he had taken her to Indy to see a performance of the local ballet, and even though it hadn't been his thing, the look on her face had been the best gift she could have given him. That and the amazing blowjob in his car when they had parked in a cornfield on the way back to watch the stars.
Halloween '84 had changed all that. After that fateful party, Valentine's Day had become as much bullshit as the rest of his love life. The breakup had not only made him miserable, it had made him doubt everything he thought he knew about himself.
The next Valentine's Day he had spent getting drunk at some stupid party and sleeping with a girl he didn't even know the name of. Not his proudest day, but misery loves company, and he vaguely remembered her telling him she had been dumped the same day. They had both been looking for a meaningless distraction.
February '86 saw Steve Harrington pulling babes again. Only none of them meant anything. He went through the motions; card, chocolate, roses - the whole nine yards. But his heart wasn't in it. Lisa - or was it Lucy? - had giggled and planted a kiss on his cheek when he showed up at her house. At the movies, they had sat in the back to make out and she had jerked him off while muffling his moans with her clever tongue in his mouth. It had been nice.
She hadn't returned his calls the next day.
In ’87 his life had changed once again. The near end of the world had put things into perspective for him. It had made him realize that it wasn’t meaningless dating he wanted but a partner. Someone to love and cherish. Someone who would love and cherish him in return. Someone who made him want to be better, who challenged him and supported him. Someone who was in it for him, Steve, and not for his reputation or his looks or the money he no longer had.
For one hot minute he had convinced himself that someone was Nancy, that she was still it for him. But that was as much bullshit as it had been in ‘84. Nancy and him, they had their chance, and it did not work out for a reason. He wanted to settle down, she wanted to make it big. Live her dreams and be the strong, fearless, and passionate journalist she deserved to be.
So when Dustin calls him at an unholy hour on the morning of February 14, '87, he picks up on the sixth ring and grumbles, "What the hell?”
"Steve, that's no way to answer the phone." Dustin sounds indignant, the condescending little shit.
"That's how I answer my own goddamn phone when someone calls me on a Saturday before the sun comes up, Henderson."
Dustin remains silent on the other end of the line, and Steve can hear his raised eyebrow. It's a showdown, a battle of wills that Steve will not lose. Not to a goddamn 15-year-old.
The silence holds.
And holds.
"Harrington residence, Steve speaking." He grunts through clenched teeth. It's too early for this shit.
Dustin doesn't even try to hide the smugness in his voice. "Steve, I need you to drive me and El to the miniature golf course this afternoon."
"I have to what now?"
"Aren't you listening? Jesus Christ, Steve." The little bastard is spending too much time with a certain metalhead, Steve thinks. "Me and El have a Valentine's Day date at the miniature golf course this afternoon." The Duh at the end is clear in his tone.
"No, I get that, although how a nice girl like El would want to spend Valentine's Day with someone who can't even say please or thank you is beyond me."
"Oi!"
"But I don't see why I should be the one to drive you. Can't Hopper drive you?" Steve knows that Hopper would love any reason to spy on the boy dating his daughter.
Apparently Dustin does too. "Steeeeeve." He whines. "Come on, man. You know how Hopper is. This won't be a date, but a stakeout followed by the most awkward interrogation ever." When Steve says nothing, Dustin adds, "Don't you want us to be happy, Steve? After all we've been through, don't you think we deserve some happiness, some normalcy?"
Steve folded up like a house of cards.
"Fine. You win. Goddamn it. I'll drive you and El to your date. Happy?"
"Thanks, Steve, I knew I could count on you. Can you pick up Will, Mike, Max and Lucas on the way?"
"Yeah, yeah - WHAT?" He must have heard wrong.
"Oh yeah, Mike and Will want to go to the movies for Valentine's Day, 'cause that's not so obvious, you know? And Max and Lucas are going to the arcade. That's where it all started for them, and the last few years have been really hard on them - "
Steve needs to stop being such a goddamn pushover for these kids, he really does.
"Okay, Henderson, I get it. I'll pick them up." Steve cuts off the tear-jerking monologue. He hears Dustin's enthusiastic 'Awesome' and his own 'Always the goddamn babysitter' comes out fond instead of annoyed. He's so whipped by these kids.
And that's why Steve spends most of his day driving a bunch of 15-year-olds around. And Robin, who calls him just as he's about to leave the house to ask if he can give her a ride to Vicky's. It's her first time spending the night there.
It seems that everyone has a date for Valentine's Day. Everyone except Steve, which makes him the perfect designated driver.
The icing on the cake is that even Keith has managed to get a date, so after dropping Max and Lucas off at the arcade, he heads over to Family Video for his late shift.
Here he has to advise couples on the most romantic movies, help guys find something sweet and plotless enough to make out with without missing too much, or point some girls in the direction of romantic comedies they can watch over ice cream while dreaming of their Prince Charming sweeping them off their feet.
When he finally drags his tired body to his car, it's already 10:30 pm. His feet hurt, his head hurts, and worst of all, there's a heavy weight on his chest and a queasy feeling in his stomach that he can't really explain. He just feels... sad.
Nothing happened. Everyone was fine, even happy. So why is he feeling so sad?
Steve decides to just go home, have a generous helping of the expensive scotch his father hides in his office, and go straight to bed. Tomorrow the sadness will be gone and he will be back to his normal self.
When he gets home, there is another car parked in the driveway. For a horrible second, he thinks it's his parents, but then he recognizes the beat-up van, and he smiles for the first time all day.
Eddie is sitting on his front steps, a six-pack of beer next to him and a cigarette dangling from his mouth. The front light comes on as Steve approaches and the light makes him look unreal, like some kind of appearance straight from heaven.
He looks up and his eyes light up as they fall on Steve. The smile Eddie gives him is a bright and happy thing, even his dimples seem to be so happy to see Steve that they have to come out to say hello. The heaviness in Steve's chest doesn't go away, but it feels a little lighter than it did back in the car.
Eddie gets up and starts walking toward him as Steve comes closer, drawn together like magnets. They stand close, almost touching, when Steve asks, "Eddie, what are you doing here?" He wishes he didn't sound so breathless.
"I figured you'd probably be home, so I came to hang out."
"Oh, great, so you assumed I didn't have a date on Valentine's Day? Jesus, thanks for the vote of confidence. I didn't know I was that pathetic."
The queasy feeling in his stomach is back and it turns his insides sour, the crushing heaviness adding to the sensation. He knows in a distant way that he is being unfair, that Eddie didn't mean anything by it. But it hurts. He hurts.
Steve's sudden outburst catches Eddie off guard. His body swings back, away from Steve, and his doe eyes look even bigger as they scan Steve's face. Steve hates that Eddie almost looks scared for a second. He hates that Eddie thinks, even for a moment, that Steve might hurt him.
"Eddie, I..." his voice breaks, unable to articulate what he barely understands himself.
But it is enough for Eddie to understand. His face softens and he moves back into Steve's space.
"No, I guess I was just hoping you didn't have a date so we could both be single together today and spit in the face of this capitalist holiday."
Steve can't help but roll his eyes at Eddie's dramatic antics. Eddie smiles at him, a gentle thing, and his hand slowly rises to Steve's face before Eddie realizes what he's doing and lets it fall back down.
"Are you okay, Stevie? You don't seem, I don't know, yourself." Eddie tilts his head to the side. "Did something happen, sweetheart?"
It's the goddamn sweetheart that does it. Steve's whole face crumbles and before he even knows what's happening, tears fill his eyes and make his vision swim. He tries to swallow the feeling down, to get himself back under control.
He loses the fight against himself and the first tears start to spill down his cheeks.
"Oh, hey, shit, Stevie. Sweetheart. What's wrong?"
Eddie swoops in and takes him in his arms, as naturally as breathing. Like they do it every day.
Steve tries to speak but can't. He wouldn't even know what to say if he could, so he just pushes further into Eddie and shakes his head where it's pressed against Eddie's chest.
"Okay, you don't have to tell me. But how about we go inside, huh?" Eddie's arms are still around him and he speaks the words directly into Steve's ear.
Steve nods against his chest but doesn't move. Eddie chuckles, the sound vibrating through Steve's body where it's still pressed against Eddie's. Future Steve will be so embarrassed by his behavior.
Steve jumps when he feels Eddie's hand pat his ass.
"Sorry, I was just -" now the hand wanders to his front "trying to find your -" and the hand dips into his front pocket where it closes around his house keys "aha!"
The keys jangle as Eddie opens his front door and Steve takes a shuddering breath. He's not sure if he's glad or disappointed that Eddie didn't try his other pocket first.
They make their way inside and Eddie leads him to the couch in the living room where Steve sits down with a heavy sigh. His eyes had closed on their own, and when he opens them again, Eddie is hovering over him, his eyes soft but his eyebrows knitted in worry.
Steve tries to smile up at him, to tell him it's all right, wants to say sorry, man, not the Saturday night you had in mind, huh? but he can't. He fucking can't. Instead, he asks, "Can you stay?"
Eddie can. Eddie does.
He sinks down on the couch next to Steve, thighs pressed together, shoulders touching. They just sit there, breathing, for several minutes.
"Today just - sucked. I don't know. I just, I - fuck." Eddie looks at him, Steve can feel his eyes on him, but he doesn't say anything, lets Steve find his words.
"I don't want to feel like this, man. Like - " Steve sighs, searching for words. "Like I'm alone." He holds up his hand before Eddie can speak. "I know I'm not. I do. I know I have Robin, the kids. But they all have someone, you know? Someone special. Someone they want around because they love them, because every day is better with them in it. Not because they can do anything for them. Just because they are - they are their person".
Steve looks at Eddie with so much longing in his heart that it threatens to drown him. "I want to be someone's person."
When Eddie doesn't say anything, just looks at him with big eyes, Steve lowers his eyes again and looks at their knees instead. "Sorry, I don't want to be such a bummer, you can go if -"
The hand on his cheek stops him.
"Steve Harrington, you already are someone's person. You have been for months."
Eddie leans in, leans his forehead against Steve's and looks him in the eyes as he says, "I came here hoping you wouldn't have a date so I could feel like I was your Valentine's date. And you can punch me in the face for that if it means you stop looking so fucking heartbroken. But Steve. You are my person, okay? My favorite days are the days I get to see you, even if it's just so you can bitch at me about one of the kids. I want you around all the time. Some mornings I have to force myself to do stupid things like clean my room or take a fucking walk so I'm not standing on your doorstep at the crack of dawn."
Steve can't help but chuckle at the sound of indignation in Eddie's voice when he says clean my room, like it's the worst chore in the world. Eddie smiles at his reaction.
"I want to hear your laugh more than I want to hear Metallica live. I know it's not much. But you are my person and you will never be alone.
Steve is in Eddie's lap before Eddie can even close his mouth.
"Say it again. Eddie, please. Say it again." Steve almost begs, his lips inches from Eddie's.
"You, Steve Harrington, are my person."
Their first kiss is sweet. Sweeter than Steve would have expected, if he had ever allowed himself to think about it. He jumps right in, wants to show Eddie what his words mean to him, but Eddie immediately slows them down. He makes their kisses small and soft, just lips against lips, and Steve swears he could die from the sweetness of it all.
But at some point their kisses begin to grow longer and longer each time their mouths meet. They also become deeper as Steve slides his tongue between Eddie's supple lips. Steve has never kissed a guy before and he expects it to feel different. And it does, a little. There's stubble on Eddie's cheek where Steve's hand is cupping it, and there aren't soft breasts pressed against his chest, but another hard, muscular chest. But so many things are the same. Eddie lets him take control and there are little gasps and soft moans coming out of their mouths as they hold each other.
It's only when Steve begins to rock against Eddie in his lap that Eddie pulls away. Steve chases his lips, desperate for them to continue, addicted to the feeling of Eddie.
"Steve - Stevie, hey, baby, stop for a minute." Steve does, not sure what's wrong. Eddie cups his cheek, where not long ago tears had made their way across his skin. "Are you - is this okay?"
"Why wouldn't it be?"
"Honey, you were so upset just a few minutes ago. I don't know, I just don't want to take advantage of you. I don't want you regretting this tomorrow."
Steve is pretty sure that Eddie is his person too.
"It's more than okay. This feels so good, Eddie." As if to prove his point, Steve rocks against him again to let Eddie feel how good it feels for Steve.
"Okay, okay, I get it. You want me to make you feel even better, baby?"
Steve wants. Oh, how he wants.
He doesn't answer, just dives right back in and crashes their lips together. What started out sweet and tender turns messy and desperate in seconds. It's as if Eddie has unleashed some kind of hungry beast in Steve's chest.
He bites Eddie's lower lip and enjoys the feeling of Eddie's hips thrusting up in response. Eddie's hands roam his body, never able to stay still for long. The metal of his rings feels warmer than Steve expected, like an extension of Eddie's thick fingers on his skin.
A high-pitched whimper falls from his mouth as Eddie's thumb finds his nipple and strokes over it, again and again. His shirt is in the way, restricting the movement of Eddie's hands, so he pulls his hands from where they are buried in Eddie's hair to pull the shirt off his body.
Eddie's mouth catches his nipple before Steve can dive back in for another kiss.
"Shit. Fuck. Eddie." Steve's hands find their way back into Eddie's hair, unable to do much more than hold on for the ride. The heavy feeling in his chest is forgotten. All Steve feels is heat and desire and some undefined thing starting to bloom where the heaviness used to be.
He's lost in the sensation that is Eddie, all around him. His smell, his skin, his fucking mouth. Suddenly there are teeth scraping over his already abused nipple and Steve almost loses it and comes in his pants like an inexperienced freshman. Jesus Christ.
Steve feels Eddie's smug smile against his skin. He wants nothing more than to feel more of him, to feel everything, so he reaches for Eddie's fly with only slightly trembling hands. He has already undone the button and is about to pull the zipper down when Eddie's hands close over his. Eddie's sinful mouth has left Steve's nipple to say something, and Steve shudders at the sudden coldness he feels on his spit-slick skin.
"Sweetheart, slow down. Let me make you feel good, okay? No need to reciprocate. I just want to take care of you."
Steve melts at the sentiment behind those words, and his heart soars at the knowledge that, for once, someone wants to take care of him, not the other way around. But if Eddie thinks this will make Steve want to devour him less, he must not know Steve at all. Instead of slowing down, he slaps Eddie's hands away and goes for the zipper of his jeans again.
"You make me feel good, Eddie, so good. I wanna make you feel good, too. Wanna feel you." Steve babbles, trying to coordinate his rocking hips and searching hands. There is too much blood going south for him to multitask efficiently.
Eddie growls deep in his chest and grips Steve's wrists tightly. "I said slow down, sweetheart." With that, Eddie puts Steve's hands behind his back, one over the other, and doesn't let go.
"You want to run this show? Go ahead. Take what you need, baby." He leans back against the couch and looks up at Steve with dark, dark eyes.
Steve whines at the loss of contact, at the restriction Eddie has put on his hands, but his face is flushed and his erection is straining against his jeans. He's never done this before, never been exposed like this, his needs and desires laid bare by Eddie's skillful hands and gentle heart.
So Steve takes what he wants, just as Eddie asked.
He slides forward to sit more firmly in Eddie's lap, so he can feel Eddie against him as he begins to rock back and forth more urgently. There's delicious pressure against his dick, but it's not enough. No matter how fast or slow he moves, he can't get anywhere near where he wants to be.
Steve clenches his thighs and presses down on Eddie's firm thighs as he rolls his hips back and forth, moans and groans falling from his lips with increasing desperation. He wants - he needs -
"Eddie, please. Please, it's not enough, I need - " Another breathy whimper.
"What do you need, baby? Tell me. Everything. I'll give you everything."
Eddie is just as affected as he is. His pupils are dilated to twice their normal size, the beautiful brown of his irises swallowed by hungry blackness. His hands tremble where they still grip Steve's behind Steve's back, and Steve squeezes them gently. It calms a part of him to know that he's not alone, that they're in this together. It gives Steve hope that it means something to Eddie, too.
"I need you, Eddie. I don't care, I just want you. I wanna feel good with you."
Before Steve knows what's happening, the hands around his wrists disappear and slide under his ass to where it meets his thighs. Eddie leans forward and brings his lips right up to Steve's. Before he kisses him, deep and dirty, he whispers against them, "Hold on tight, baby."
He barely manages to wrap his hands around Eddie's shoulders before the other man stands and lifts him into his arms. Steve instinctively wraps his legs around Eddie's waist and the hands under his thighs press him tightly against Eddie's body.
Holy. Shit.
They stumble up the stairs and Steve feels Eddie tremble under his weight. He wants to ask him to put him down so he can walk, but his mouth is busy being devoured by Eddie's lips and tongue.
Thank God he left his door open because he doesn't think Eddie would have been able to hold him up and open the damn door. As it is, they tumble inside and towards his unmade bed. Steve is glad that Eddie is too busy to see the plaid monstrosity that is his room. He wants Eddie to have a nice, mind-blowing orgasm before he has to see this.
He expects Eddie to drop him on the bed, maybe even throw him down in another show of strength. Eddie does not.
Instead, he drops to his knees on the bed and lowers Steve onto the mattress with such gentle care that Steve almost forgets why they're here. He's still hard and aching in his jeans, but the burning need has subsided for now. He lifts his hand to Eddie's cheek, cupping it gently as he looks deep into the soft chocolate button eyes.
"Hi," he whispers.
Eddie leans down and nudges Steve's nose with his own.
"Hi," he replies, smiling down at Steve.
Their next kiss starts out sweet - lips sliding against each other, little nips and kitten licks, but soon the fire between them is rekindled. Eddie is still kneeling between Steve's spread legs, and as he leans back to look down at Steve, his hands find their way to Steve's jean-clad thighs.
"Let me take these off you, yeah?" Steve nods and watches with rapt attention as Eddie slowly undresses him. "So goddamn pretty, Stevie. You're gorgeous, inside and out."
His cheeks are burning and he's afraid that the tears that are starting to gather in his eyes will fall if he doesn't do something. He grabs Eddie's left hand, stroking his hipbone, and pulls him closer so he can kiss him. "You too." He tugs at Eddie's shirt to show what he means. He still means both.
Eddie removes his own clothes with efficiency, and Steve thinks that next time he'll take his time to uncover and appreciate every inch of Eddie's body.
Soon they're both naked, Steve on his back with his head on the pillow and Eddie still between his legs. They drink each other in and Eddie leans down to plant a soft kiss on Steve's lips. He seems to be waiting for something, but Steve doesn't know what.
"Eddie, tell me what to do, what do you want?"
"Baby, you don't have to do anything, okay? Let me do all the work for once. I want to." He chuckles at Steve's puzzled look. "I really do. I want to make you feel good. I want to see you fall apart at my hands and I want to put you back together again. If you let me." He gently bites Steve's jaw. "Please say you'll let me." Another bite at his throat, just as soft. "Please, baby, let me make you feel good."
Steve squirms on his sheets, his hips jerking in a futile search for friction.
"Yes, anything. Please. Anything. I want you to."
After that there is no need to speak. There are sounds from Steve's lips and showers of dirty praise from Eddie's, but both know what they want, what they need. Like two puzzle pieces that fit together perfectly, soft protrusions and sharp edges fitting just so.
Eddie takes his time, kissing and licking every inch of golden skin he can reach. When he bites, it's soft, affectionate. It still leaves marks and Steve welcomes each one because they mean this is real, this is happening.
Steve lets Eddie do what he wants to him, pliable and so responsive to every touch, to every word of worship and praise, that Eddie kisses against his skin. He never knew it could be like this, never felt so completely loved and cared for. It seems like days go by as Eddie worships every single part of him.
When Eddie finally takes him in his mouth, Steve thrashes against him, overwhelmed by the sensation. He's on edge for what feels like hours, gripping himself tightly at the base to hold back his orgasm.
He's still in Eddie's mouth and Eddie has the audacity to smile up at him through long lashes, his lips stretched wide around Steve's girth, winking at him. Steve's groan is almost painful. He has to look away or not even his hand will stop him from spilling his release into Eddie's cocky mouth.
Not to be deterred in the least, Eddie begins to suck on the head as if it were his favorite lollipop. His tongue swirls around the head and dips into the slit before his mouth sinks down on him in one swift motion.
"Fuck, Eddie. Jesus Christ."
The throaty chuckle is what does him in. Before he knows what's happening, before he can even think of stopping it, he comes down Eddie's throat in hot, messy spurts.
"Shit! No, no, no, no. Fuck. I'm so sorry, Eddie, oh God, I don't know what happened, I didn't mean - "
Eddie silences him with a soft kiss, lips slick with Steve's release. He strokes Steve's cheek and smiles down at him with a blissful expression on his face. "That was the hottest thing I've ever seen, baby."
"But. It was so fast. You didn't."
"To see you lose it like that, baby. To see you writhing and moaning and being so overwhelmed with pleasure that you can't help but come? Steve, sweetheart, that was better than any orgasm I ever had. I wish I could have recorded it, I'm afraid no memory will do it justice."
Steve looks at Eddie, sees the genuine joy on his pretty face, the warmth and affection in his big brown eyes, and wants to believe him. Wants to believe that he didn't have to do anything to deserve it. But it's hard.
"What about you?"
"Nothing. It can wait. Right now I really want to hold you and bask in the afterglow for a while. And maybe later we can get something to eat and watch a movie. What do you think?"
Steve thinks he's in love.
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Thank you @legitcookie for being a wonderful cheerleader and beta while also being sick af. Toughest cookie in the jar 💜
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