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formosusiniquis · 3 months

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This one goes out to that old guy I saw at walmart yesterday loading up his pioneer woman cookware onto his motorcycle while enter sandman played

steddie | G | WC: 1154

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“Hey baby, can you?”

“No.”

Steve's sweet tone sours immediately returning to the much more familiar gently bitchy tone Eddie knows and loves. “You don't even know what I was gonna ask.”

“Twenty-five years of marriage, lawful and not, Sunshine. I know when you're about to ask me for some shit we don't need.”

“Why would I be calling you if we didn't need it?”

“Because if you needed it you would have told me about it when I said, ‘Stevie, sweetie, light of my life, sun to my dawn,’” he looks around trying to figure out where the hell they moved the oranges and why the produce section is never in the same configuration anytime he comes here. He makes eye contact with a kid wearing an artificially faded printing of his own tour merch looking at him with a starry eyed look of recognition not of the celebrity but of family.

“Did you forget where you were going with that old man?”

He decides he might as well put on a show, both halves of this conversation already know he's going to do what he's told. “‘Stevie, my one truth north, my muse, my reason to continue living, my dearest husband, I'm going to Walmart,’ I told you not but thirty minutes ago and asked if you needed me to get you anything and you said no.”

“Oh, you aren't going to monologue for your adoring public all the sweet names I called you?” Steve is amused, he can tell, he's always been able to tell. He's accepting this as his penance for not giving Eddie an actual grocery list when he left.

“Well dear heart I am in public, but if you think we can find another grocery store to go to after getting banned from this one. I guess there is the Kroger on the other side of town.” The kid laughs, tries to hide it behind their hand, but if Eddie has had anything in this life it's experience with teens eavesdropping on conversations they shouldn't be.

“Oh you're really hamming it up, huh, Teddy. Can I tell you what you're getting me yet or do you still have a couple minutes in your set?”

He's given up on oranges, moves on to the onion he actually came here for, the lone ingredient for dinner that he'd forgotten from his clicklist. If they want to actually have the roast tonight it needs to start soon. “What is it that you remembered we needed, oh song of my heart.”

“I already sent you the link so you get exactly what I want.”

It's just ominous enough of a non-answer that he pulls his phone out of his pocket, juggling it and the five things he'd already grabbed that weren't on his one item list. He doesn't have the time to regret not grabbing the cart he was sure he hadn't needed when he sees what he's been sent.

“I'm on my bike! Where am I going to put that?”

“I'm sorry, am I hearing you correctly? Was I right when I said, ‘Teddy bear, my stars, my bard-’”

“You aren't on speaker.”

“My beloved damsel in distress, maybe the motorcycle isn't the most efficient of midlife crisis vehicles. Aren't you going to want something with more trunk space, why don't you get a Caddy or a Bimmer for old times sake. And what did you say?”

“I don't recall.”

“Probably for the best wouldn't want you banned from Walmart, what would the tabloids say?”

“Nothing that would match your wit, Sweetheart. Does it have to be this one?”

“Yes, the plaid matches the kitchen remodel, so be a good boy and strap it to your bike. And remember we've still got one kid to put through school if she decides to go, don't bring home any strays with you. Do you need to do your encore now, baby?”

“I accept your quest, my dashing prince. I shall return home with my bounty posthaste.” Encore complete, audience still enraptured, Eddie dips into the sincere. It's been nearly thirty years together and he's not once ended a call without saying, “I love you.”

“Love you too, my knight in denim battle vest. I'll see you when you get home.”

The call ends with the usual dull toned beep beep, the playlist the call interrupted starts to filter back into his earbud. He realizes he's going to have to walk right past the kid to get to the side of the store with Steve's Instant Pot.

“Hear they're about to have a reunion tour,” he says gesturing down at the reprint of their Came Back Wrong Tour shirt. The faux-fading has left a crack through his own face at the bottom making him unrecognizable, not that he looks the same now as he did at 25. “Those old bands just don't know how to retire.”

“I think it's smart that they're playing up the recent tik tok fame.” The kid says, “No one's even seen their lead singer since the 90s and after their first national tour he'd started wearing that mask.”

It hurts a little bit the way the kid says 90s like it's some bygone era lost to time. Tries to appreciate instead how good the mask idea had been, he'd really been an innovator. “That was a pretty sweet gimmick, you think he'll bring it back? It's kind of Orville Peck's thing now isn't it.”

The kid slumps, managing the impressive feat of looking desolate while standing over the tomatoes. “Probably, not that I'll see it. I couldn't manage to get a ticket.”

That is something he can fix, “Here,” he manages to grab ahold of his wallet, “as luck would have it, I've got a couple spares.”

The kid looks torn between fear and elation, it's likely at least the second strangest thing to ever happen to them in a Walmart. “Oh I can't-”

“No strings, I got it through work for my sister-in-law to go with my husband. She asked why none of the good bands ever have reunion tours so… not going obviously. And my husband insists he's too old to be that close to the stage. You'd be doing me a favor really.”

“If you're sure,” they say, the hesitance more a mannered necessity than real.

“Sure as shooting. Seriously, here give me your name so my husband knows who to make the thank you note out to.”

“Aspen, thank you really!”

Twenty minutes later when he’s got a kitchen appliance bungied to the back of his bike he’ll appreciate that something good came out of this. Three weeks later when he’s standing at the front of a sold out arena he’ll mostly appreciate another chance to be dramatic, “This next one is for Aspen who didn’t laugh when an old man tried to flirt with his husband in the produce aisle. Gareth, count me in.”

#steddie #steddie fic #old man steddie #rockstar eddie munson

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wosemi-sama · 2 months

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and the crowd went mild 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 also no chara dividers im lazy rn

these r so short id add more but im rushing rn sorry lmfao 😭😭😭

intended lowercase!

misc. obm hcs

LUCIFER

wakes up at the ass crack of dawn every single morning.

wears those old man pjs. with the long hat and fuzzy slippers and gown. you know the one.

most bitter coffee you've ever had in your life how he can drink it is astonishing.

his bed, his mattress, his pillows are all as hard as rock how does this man SLEEP.

sleeps like hes the corpse at the funeral hes that one image

MAMMON

will pull you into a headlock and call it a hug.

LEVIATHAN

guy who had mountain dew and cheeto dust in his veins instead of blood. guy who marinates in his room for two months straight. guy who- (i am immediately shot dead).

did a collab with the anti-lucifer league to create a 100k words dialuci fic to piss off lucifer (dont worry about him he got paid in anime and tsl merch).

TRULY believes he is the #1 tsl fan. and also #1 ruri fan.

wimp who VOLUNTARILY makes you cosplays if you are a cosplayer or even if you aren't. it will happen.

vtuber fan. he was like "hey i wanna be a streamer but i dont wanna show my face but i also want to be an anime boy! wait-" and now hes a vtuber.

has accidentally referred to all of his brothers as "chat" at least once. hes never recovering from that btw.

SATAN

cannot stop annotating books he reads for the life of him.

all of his books are just filled to the brim with sticky notes because all he does is annotate.

once he has a crush he will start imagining him and them in the same scenarios as the characters in romance novels he read. (loser alert!!)

sneaking a new cat into hol like once a week (he never succeeds btw).

ASMODEUS

oh boy his room REEKS of perfume and body spray.

"i sprayed my new perfume in every nook and cranny! smells so floral and elegant, don't you think?" (it smells like a bath and body works threw up.)

surprisingly plays the trumpet and BOY is he loud. bro is absolutely blasting those notes.

worst driver ever btw.

BEELZEBUB

freckles all over!! like a lot. *im not beating the insane allegations*

ate like 27 family size dorito bags, 30 dollars worth of taco bell, and four sprites in one sitting and he still hasnt recovered.

sleeps. like a lot. not as much as belphie but enough to be considered an eepy guy.

BELPHEGOR

will randomly grab every blanket and pillow he can get his hands on and make a nest in the common room if he's up to it. and then have everyone make a dog pile in it just so they can hang out and be silly.

will NOT clean it up afterwards. lucifer will tell him to and his only response will be "im tired..."

freckles like beel too i think theyre silly.

9829364 cow plushies. (theyre all from lucifer)

SOLOMON

will randomly gaslight people for no reason

"hey did you do the homework"

homework? what homework? there was homework? my, what even is homework? never heard of that.

"hey, i heard of this animal from the human world called a giraffe! can i see a picture?"

what? what's a giraffe? oh, those!! yeah, they're just myths. they're not real. purely fiction!!

yk that one post about tumblr funnyman solomon. he is a tumblr funnyman to me. he confidently posts his exploded spaghetti and gets 10k notes i think.

SIMEON

has a book club with satan and solomon. :)

probably writes oneshots of the brothers on tumblr idfk man (sorry to the simeon fans i write like nothing on this guy bro).

LUKE

bodily six ("but didnt the devs say hes ten?" shut up. /j)

along with that, also shorter than in canon. (since hes. yk. a first grader. that BOY is not five foot hes one sauce packet long dude.)

favorite store in the human world is walmart. i like to think his human world outfit is all exclusively from walmart bc thats funny i think.

DIAVOLO

hands of STEEL. he tries to grab your wrist and he nearly crushes it by accident.

ice cream!! he loves it :) his favorite is strawberry btw.

also this boy is NOT a himbo hes a smart man.

needs like a hug and some sleep and also a friend this boy works too much!!

BARBATOS

short. like really short. especially according to devildom standards since most demons are super tall.

"but isn't he six feet?" not in my heart.

somehow always making tea for some reason?? if he's not making tea then he's making pastries.

my boy does not SLEEP. hasn't slept since the sun has been birthed and doesn't plan on ever doing it.

#a letter from yours truly!💌#obey me headcanons #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me solomon #obey me luke #obey me diavolo #obey me barbatos #not tagging sim i dont wanna disappoint the fans lmao

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solarsynthm · 2 years

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thoughts/headcanons about clay terran

since capcom literally introduced a character that was supposed to be Apollo’s best friend and then sealed him away forever, I’ve taken into liberty of headcanoning the shit out of him and forming him more as a character so here we gooo

This is sort of a long post (ALSO INCLUDING IMAGES OF JACKETS N SHIT) so if you really wanna read this click the read more button and enjoy !! :]

• clay has adhd you cannot change my mind

• He can beatbox. really well. And he can also do whatever the hell MC Mental at his best is almost perfectly

• Also can fortnite dance. he does not stop fortnite dancing it’s like back in 2018 when every kid under the age of 14 was fortnite dancing in a walmart you couldn’t escape it

• He gets distracted very easily and also sucks at volume control he’s almost as bad as Apollo

• he probably had a fnaf phase in middle school

• he/they/star/rocket/space + other space neos, demiboy and pansexual

• i do not think that clay (or apollo) ever really had a crush on each other? i feel like they had more of a gay best friend/brother relationship moreso

• Has a mild animal allergy. anything furry makes him stuffy. that does not stop him from loving mikeko or any dog ever

• speaking of animals I see clay as more of a dog person? I’m not sure why but he strikes me as loving border collies specifically

• Clay is chaotic and can be very unhinged (but in a funny way) at times and overall just super hyperactive. However if the time comes to be serious then he quits clowning and faces the problem in a mature manner and tries to help to the best of his extent.

• gamer /j (god im crying this is reminding me of the time patrick star’s va went “yeah patrick is definately a gamer”)

• idk why but clay gives me the kind of vibes that he’d wear anything from coats to hoodies to just cool looking stylized outfits, always something different. i feel maybe like these kinds of jackets??

(like, the blue and purple ones specifically too, I think he’d go for something colorful or something darker, because there’s no way in hell that he’d just wear this one simple bootleg nasa jacket all the time)

• he would also wear merch from games he likes and pull it off without looking like a loser (i could never)

• freckles he has freckles i dont care if this is canon or not i love the idea of clay with freckles

• he is the one who got apollo into astrology clay loves ANYTHING space and he’ll ramble to you about it any day of the week if you ask. he’ll also give interesting facts

• hes awesome and all but i can kinda see him being a bit of a himbo ngl. not incredibly stupid but like, sometimes you wonder

• in school clay always bit his pencils and like. apollo would never accept a pencil from clay like. He loves him like a brother but there’s no chance in hell he’s gonna touch a bitten up pencil. clay had no idea why and thus apollo never told him

• also in school Clay constantly tried to get apollo like a boyfriend or something because like i think it was especially around the time everyone on the fucking planet and within the school hallways thinks they are ready for a relationship and wants one, so like clay did try to get but only ended up causing Apollo bad experiences with people leading him on and instead making fun of him and then leaving him like a week later. He most certainly kicked their asses after seeing apollo get hurt repeatedly - this eventually led to clay giving up and just realizing that maybe whoever will eventually come along instead of trying to set it up

okay im done for now thanks for coming to my ted talk

#clay terran #clay #apollo justice #ace attorney #aa #headcanons #apollo justice: ace attorney #aj:aa #long post #rambling abt my thoughts... again #also im not really including this but like #headcanon that clay and apollo quite literally grew up together #i do not know if this is means through adoption #or what the fuck it is but #i love the idea of them actually just being really close but as brothers #because apollo didnt have anybody did he

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batwritings · 3 years

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I totally forgot to type up the smut idea I had from earlier because I was looking at the walmart pride merch so!

Badboyhalo, I said earlier that he would like making baby clothes for little sapnap, he also like shaking clothes for his partner of the not pure verity. He would absolutely love a fashion show of what he's made you, but would absolutely blush and love his stuff if you made him smutty clothes, btw, make him wear pretty white lacy stuff, it would just look good.

Sam is a master of Redstone, and he had absolutely made toys for his partners. He just finds it more loving that way. That being said, he also will get redstone and gunpowder all over him, so please hop into the shower with him and help him clean off, he will love the intimacy if it and you get to feel him up, win win.

Please please please give foolish an full body massage (and I mean full body, peg his ass!) while giving him praise of what a good boy he is for doing so much, he will melt and probably be the most content he has ever been in his life, and when your done he's going to have to return the favor. He is going to fuck you into oblivion and make sure you remember every single piece of praise he gives you and if he ever hears you talk bad about yourself he's just going to have to remind you.

Schlatt seems like he'd be this super tough Dom, but this man has barely been shown kindness, please please, give this man so much affection he's crying over it. Give him sweet kisses to his cheek as you stroke his cock and sing him the softest praises. Gently pull him into a kiss by the horns and give tiny head scratches at the base while you rid him into cumming in you. (I keep seeing these hardcore Smuts for Schlatt, please give the baby some affection he fucking needs it!)

Techno, I said he'd like to make maps, and he has a couple under his bed that show places they have had sex. In villages, caves, dungeons, mansions, all sorts of places. Sometimes a rut hit him out of the blue or the blood rush and adrenaline kicked in and y'all had to get rid of it some how.

Karl can and will make sure he knows everything he can make your body do. What you don't like, what you absolutely love, what you'd like to try. He's got it all written down in a book in the nightstand and it absolutely does have naked photos of the both of you. Some taken on phones and printed out and some are hand drawn.

George like to have super sweet sex, and sometimes he goes on for hours just taking his time with you, and other days when he has had to deal with Sapnap his fuse is alot more spent, and those can be his favorite days, not that he doesn't like being slow it's just the faces his partners make when he's going hard is so cute. Sapnap and his partners are in a deal where Sapnap gets paid to mess with george more, George has no idea.

🦊

🦊 .....stopppp I love these. You’re so goood aaaaaaa. I love the Schlatt one most oh no....mr big tough president who is an actual soft sweetheart has such a special place in my heart.

#bat writes #anon response #🦊anon #good ideas!

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indecisive-v · 3 years

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NINJAMUFFIN DOING ANOTHER AMA ON TWITTER, HERE'S MORE SHIT FOR YA! keep in mind i'm just sharing the funkin related stuff, though i am including WAAAAY more than what i shared before 👍 go check out ninja's twitter profile for questions about stuff like ritz! questions in blue, answers in orange. if yall don't wanna read everything i MIGHT make a version of this post where i replace the answers with my own summaries of em (and if the questions are long, those too)

and here's a link to the ama tweet itself! dunno if it's still goin

Q: I figure the answer will be yes but do you have more plans to implement more guest appearances from people in the newgrounds community into FNF? Or are you all gunna focus on OG lore and stuff going forward

A: for guest appearances, I think we have always seen it as getting a healthy mix of both. PERSONALLY I'd like to lean towards having more OG stuff than guest stuff, BUT it's all a matter of what other boys think of that as well. I'm not the sole person working on game!

Q: Are you gonna release the full FNF game or are you gonna be releasing week after week? Like, are you gonna release week 8 or are we gonna wait some years until The Full Ass Game comes out?

A: Release plan for FNF right now is a few more updates or whatev to the 'demo' we have out right now, and then a long silence of probably no updates whatsoever until the full game is done (which will likely be a few years). That's partly why we made kickstarter for game.

Q: Hey so like, how much will Fnf cost after it's finished? And when will you ask the supporters what they want the game on?

A: It's all subject to change, but right now it prob gonna be standard 15-25$ lil steam indie game.

We will ask Kickstarter pledgers and whatnot what they want the game on SUPER close to when its released, to keep options open if we get onto anything like a console people want.

Q: 1. how was your day

2. are you releasing a week 8 song early like week 7, or are you goin full lockdown

A: I am doing GOOD today, and I think recently I've been good in general.

up to the mood, but so far we doing good about not having anything leak or whatev, so I think it'd be fun to have update come out with people not knowing what to expect at all. Build dat intrigue

Q: Will fnf ever get official plushies?? Seems like an untapped market

A: FNF plushies will prob happen some point, we have a lot of current merch stuff on our plates already though! (Mostly kickstarter type stuff, shirts, pins, posters, and all the physical OST stuff) Its a lot to sort out, but in time more and more stuff will happen. We r jus 4 boys!

Q: did you ever expect your game to blow up as it did? what was your first reaction to seeing it become super popular

A: FNF never had a humble moment, literally day 1 before the prototype even came out, the vid on twitter had like 5K likes overnight. Then when ludum dare version came out, it got 5K likes again, like it wasnt just a fluke. Was crazy, and def felt like somethin was different wit FNF

Q: Do you plan on getting other people to come in to help with the music? That seems like a lot of work to dump on one person, what with the erect mode and whatnot.

I guess the question could apply to all aspects of development. Will you be bringing on more people to help?

A: We definitely are getting help from other people. We are always keeping an eye on people for various different things. In terms of programming, already I've gotten 2 people (MtH and Geokureli) to help with certain Week 7 stuff (charting/polish, and loading stuff). Shit like dat

Q: Oh, also, will the Steam version be Workshop compatible? That'd really help streamline the process of downloading mods.

A: Steam version of FNF will likely NOT be Steam workshop compatible, because we want all the mods to NOT be spread out through different places. There WILL be modding support that is as streamlined as Steam workshop though. Mainly for non-steam versions of the game!

Q: Are there any chances that the game will have a physical release? Also any updates on a switch port? I remember one of you guys talking/joking about it.

A: Not impossible for FNF to get a physical release. We would want to see how far we could go with it though. I think it'd be super easy to do something wit people like LimitedRun games or whatev, but I think stuff like that can only go so far. I wanna see Funkin in mf Walmart!!!!!!

not that LimitedRun isn't going to be an option! Just we consider and pursue many different things! FNF release is years away, so we have time to think about everything. Whole mindset can be different just a few months from now.

Q: Out of curiosity, how are you dealing with all the popularity? It blew up so fast id barely be able to handle it if I was in your shoes.

A: The only way I've been able to handle it is having the other boys on the crew and being able to talk to them about all the overwhelmingness.

Part of it feels very lonesome, feels like NO ONE can come close to comprehending exactly how I'm feeling, except them. also other PALS!!!

Q: Do you own any of the bootleg FNF merchandise? Like any bootleg plushies or anything?

A: i dont, i genuinely think they r a waste of money, and I know any bootleg shit that gets made, we can prob go about and make it, and make it 100x cooler because we actually put effort into shit. bootleg shit just in it for the coin, so they aint gettin that from me

Q: How did you go about getting in contact with sr pelo for skid and pumps vocals?

A: Pelo i think was familiar and pals wit PhantomArcade a bit thru various Newgrounds things and collabs and whatnot.

pelo retweeted the first OG FNF posts first ever, and brought a LOT of attention to it. to pay him back, we put skid and pump in game! ask dave for more info prob

Q: what's the plan for having the full ass game open source if it's gonna cost money? couldn't people just download the source and compile the game for free?

A: when FNF is fully released, the full source code will be released as well.

the game will be DRM free so it will be way easier for people to redistribute the released/offical .exe instead of compiling it, so that's not the issue anyways. people will pay for things if they like it

Q: What are the chances of it getting on consoles like switch or Playstation, ps5 would definitely be my preferred way to play

A: it'd be a matter of hiring someone to build out backend stuff for those specific consoles. someone who knows their way around all the wacky code stuff, AND knows console hardware stuff. Then its just a matter of hittin up those console manufacturers (Sony, Microsoft, or Nintendo)

the CLOSEST one is SWITCH. pretty much all of that backend is already made, so it just a matter of gettin all that access and shit.

i think in any case though, there's a lot of NDA stuff required, i dunno how much we'd be able to talk about it even IF we get that stuf sorted

Q: any ideas of releasing it on epic store or another platform?

A: Right now, the only thing that is 100% confirmed and WILL happen is a Steam version, itchio version, and mobile versions on respective app stores. Other storefronts aren't out of the picture though, but we don't want to spread ourselves too thin with it.

Q: Will you continue using HaxeFlixel to make the rest of FNF?

A: yes, because it is what I'm the most technically proficient in, and generally is VERY flexible. just a matter of ME becoming a better coder. It's ALL open source, so if I need something done a certain way, either I can do it, or we can hire someone to do it.

Q: have you seen game theory's videos on your game yet and if so, what do you think about them? (not talking about his predictions because i dont want spoilers. i like mystery)

A: it is always good silly fun to watch the Game Theory vids about Funkin with some pals, and see what matpat thinks of the game. i lov the vids, but wish he used my face less! Or at least used a cuter pic of me like this one!!

Q: Ok so: What does the future of FNF look like to you?

A: future of FNF is a rhythm game that not only exceeds every expectation that people have of it, but subverts most expectations and conventions as well.

Q: Do you plan on retouching on older weeks once the game is fully out? Like reanimating sprites, redoing some charting, updating the background, etc

A: retouching and probably overhauling certain aspects is almost definitely gonna happen. Everything is fluid and can be changed (and should be changed when necessary). i dont think anything should be too attached to, especially this early on in development

Q: I honestly do not care if the answer to this is vague as hell to keep surprises and shit lol but… Since Week 7 was the closest we’ll get to a playable girlfriend (still bf controlling tho), do you have plans to make girlfriend playable in spin-off things or just freeplay?

A: wouldnt be out of the picture for a playable GF, i don't think we've had some hard thing AGAINST it. just a matter of what we want out of the game, and what sort of story or whatev we could do with that concept

Q: How do BF and GF manage to meet famous newgrounds characters (such as pico, tankman and the others to come) like is this all in one universe/ timeline or are they being brought in?

A: i think they are all just there existing. i think there's a lot of wacky things in other media that try to justify crossovers, like MULTIVERSE bullshit or TIMELINE shit, but i dunno, its like subspace emissary. Captain Falcon and Olimar from Pikmin just hang out. Shit like dat

disclaimer that all lore shit is in phantomarcade head pretty much and maybe there is wacky dimensions or somethin

Q: Will the game have dlc?

A: its not too unlikely that we'd have expansions of some sort, but i mean right now we plan on packing in as much as we can into base game, and trying to make that as pure as possible.

if there is ANY dlc, i would personally want it to be 100% free updates

Q: How did you meet Phantom Arcade, Kawai Sprite, and EvilSker? And what do you think about the community and its controversies?

A: me and phantomarcade been fukin around NG for years so years and years ago we naturally crossed paths and became pals

about 2 years ago i found kawaisprites music on NG, and started talkin wit him, made Ritz wit him and we fell in lov

and evilsk8r i met cuz of FNF!!!

quik elaborate on evilsk8r, wanted artist for gamejam FNF was for (ludum dare), and OG person i asked wasnt available, so he referred me to evilsk8r, who I have never met or talked to before ever.

#friday night funkin #fnf #fridaynightfunkin

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wherearemyglassesbro · 4 years

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What brands do you see the nations working with the most? (Axis and Allies please!)

:D Most nations work very closely with brands that are based in heir countries! So I’ll go over others :)

America: Al works super close with Nike, he sports their clothes a lot anyway so they might as well use him as branding. Al also works a lot woth car companies to promote new trucks/SUVs! He’s been in multiple commercials (you know the ones like ‘Dodge has six more saftey awards than the following car brands’ that kind) you’ll ALSO see him, very rarely, in food ads. Mostly online food ads where he’s got like...a bag of chips in hand like “Game day snacks” kinds of things. ALSO ALSKDJSKJDBD he works with the NFL and promotes the Crap outta football games

England: Art does not do too many ads, he prefers to keep to himself more BUT he enjoys working with luxury car brands because he’s a fuckin NERD when it comes to cool, fancy cars. Art is seen a lot in high end cologne and whiskey ads. Even though promoting drinking is somewhat looked down upon, he honestly doesn’t give a single shit. He enjoys a good drink and he likes to say ‘Ive been around long enough to try almost every type of whiskey there is and I can say, this is one of the best’. For public appearances he isn’t usually a walking billboard like some nations are *cough*AlfredandFrancis*cough* but on occasion, for award ceremonies, meetings with royals or big international meetings, Arthur will wear big name clothing. It’ll probably just be a suit but it’ll still be high end and he’ll allow the brand to say that he’s sponsored by them

China: Yao LOVES doing ads for cars and bikes!! He also is a huge fan of travel ads where he can stand on the Great Wall or in the streets of Shanghai and talk about how rich his history is and how fun China is! Even though he isn’t the most social, he loves the tourism business cause he likes when people from other places come to learn about his culture!! Yao will often represent food brands and restaurants cause he loves food so much. He isn’t into clothing but he lets brands sponsor him though cause why not?!

France: Francis works with a huge variety of brands, mainly cause he’s an attention whore. He works with luxury clothing brands, cosmetic brands, wineries and has been in Air France ads. He loves when brands sponsor him for public events cause he feels special and fancy and it’s just a great time. Nations used to be hidden away and now he’s just out there! His favorite ads to do are clothing ads in magazines or malls :) The only ads he doesn’t enjoy being in are political ones, cause he doesn’t want to influence the population THAT way, and he does NOT enjoy doing ads for supermarkets/furniture stores/French Walmart equivalents y’know, those sort of corporate businesses

Russia: Ivan works VERY close with Adidas. It’s a stereotype, sure, but Ivan likes to play into that. Plus, Adidas sweatpants are...comfy. So he’ll gladly promote them! Ivan’s got such a nice face, he’s definetly meant to be on the television but he doesn’t really like that so he’ll mostly be seen in magazine ads or online ads where he doesn’t really have to talk, his stand there and look intense as the narrator talks about fancy cologne or something. Ivan avtually really enjoys the process of being in ads! It makes him feel special :) On top of that, he almost always allows brands to choose his attire for big meetings or television appearances when those happen

Germany: Ludwig is not the biggest fan of being in ads at all though on occasion, he’ll do them. He doesn’t let brands sponsor him during public events, instead he wears clothes that most people can afford, not $1000 suits. He has many fancy suits though, dont get me wrong! He just...isn’t a huge fan of being sponsored or representing unattainable, high end things that most of the population cannot get. But...One ad he enjoyed being in was an Adidas ad. It was a three minute clip of an interview about pushing yourself and never giving up. THAT ad is Lud’s favorite and he’s very proud of it :)

S.Italy: Lovino works very close with luxury brands. Cars, clothes, cologne, that sort of thing. He’ll model cologne or collaborate with high end brands like Gucci for a bag or something liek that to draw attention to the brand. Lovi is also a HUGE fan of soccer/football and will promote the SHIT out of it even if he isn’t getting paid to do so. He wears his players’ jerseys and will be in commercials for upcoming games. Usually it’s a recycled picture from a year or so ago but hey! He’s on tv!

N.Italy: Feli LOVES promoting travel! He does commercials for Italian travel in many languages so the commercials can be aired all over! He works with Louis Vuitton and soccer teams like his brother but he isn’t like his eccentric romance nation cousins, he stays out of the public eye more than Lovi does and he does more ads online than anywhere else. He promotes high end brands but doesn’t really do photo shoots. He’ll take Instagram shots at home by himself or do shoots with his brother/cousins! He doesn’t enjoy photo shoots when it’s just him, it’s a bit overwhelming. So he sticks to the easy stuff! Art supply brands will sponsor him to make art! And if he travels, he’ll be sponsored by high end brands to wear their clothes, which he’ll do with the biggest, most handsome smile on his face :)

Japan: Kiku promotes different animation studios a lot! He’s also promoted many, many snacks since he’s guilty of a lotta snacking. You won’t see his face in ads too often at all, he’s a tad camera shy! But he will post about companies/snacks and gladly gush about the things he likes. You won’t find him being sponsored by brands unless they’re startup brands or if it’s merch for comics! He isn’t interested in Louis Vuitton or Nike! And NO! He won’t do a Honda ad...Yes, he knows thats his last name...No, he doesn’t have a Honda car

(Edit: as ive gone through and edited some sections of this while it was in the queue I realize this comes off as ‘the nations are in ads all the time, it’s incredibly common and you see them like 5 times a day’ which isn’t what I meant but I’m not about to delete everything and start over lmao I mean it more as ‘you see them on the television, on your phone or plastered up in subway stations on occasion. You don’t see Lovino Vargas on your television every ten minutes promoting Gucci bags that just isn’t how it is. Being in ads is more of a treat than anything! They’re not really celebrities but people do enjoy seeing them :) )

#I may have done this before but im not scrolling through 3000 posts to find out #aph #hetalia #ask away!#headcanons #hetalia headcanons #asks #always up for hc requests #aph france #aph england #aph america #aph canada #aph germany #aph russia #aph china #aph japan #aph romano #aph italy #long post

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vespiiqueen · 4 years

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List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the ask box of the last 10 people who reblogged something from you (if you want !! 💛💖)

Wow I rambled a lot with this but i can't add cuts bc I'm on mobile rn DHSISHSJ sorry :"))))

1. Ik Ik "haha how cringe are you" of me to say, but honestly? Homestuck. Homestuck helped me in a time of need and when i so desperately wanted something to latch onto. Finally, I caved into my friends telling me to read it-- and it's been a blast!! The epilogues / hs^2 make me feel kinda sad though, because so much of what I loved about the original was yeeted through the nine circles of hell and into the trash. I love Y/ffany's (I call her Yippi tho) design, the art is really pretty at times, Harry is a major dork, I LIVE for seeing Vrissy bc honestly?? Her design is 10/10, very early 2000s emo style and I also live for that. Tavros is cute and a nerd and I think that's swell!

But in terms of story and how any of this happens, it makes me sad to see it happen. If Vriska could return as Vrissy, why not OTHER beta trolls? Where's my Eridan fish man, writers?? Give me the boy or perish by my fury.

2. Also super "haha how cringe are you" but,,, murder cats (Warriors), esp the early 2005-2015 amvs and stuff. I remember watching Flightfootwarrior's "I Will Not Bow" Scourge amv for HOurs and having no clue what was happening, but all these edgy kitties were KITTIES! It's introduced me to a lot of music I still listen to to this very day (Imagine Dragons, Young/the entirety of Hollywood Undead, Breaking Benjamin). And yknow what?? This new arc is absolute chaos, but in the good way.

I'm an "OG Fan". I prefer the first arc, The Prophecies Begin, to almost any of the other arcs. I just could never get into the other arcs-- not to say I haven't read them, I HAVE and the Fire Scene was probably one of my favorite moments beside grumpy Jaypaw, god complex Lionblaze, and fear the gods Hollypaw. I thought the build-up for it was SUPER satisfying. Gray Wing is my baby and I fully embellish in the Gray Wing is Silverpelt theory.

This new arc is definitely something new for the universe. While I didn't read aVoS (but I may do that if i can find the files for it), and so I don't know the major events of it other than what I've seen M.A.P.'s (Multi-Animator Projects, for clarification,,, bc unfortunately that term is also something disgusting). There's fucking cat possession and all the Clans questioning their belief system, yo. Shit be on fire.

Also the Imposter is 100% Ashfur, that's canon now, yeah??? Also im sorry but fuck Root x Bristle that's the dumbest shit I have ever seen. Give me Root x Shadow or face the wrath of my dragon plushies.

RiverClan is my Clan and my gov assigned warrior name is Fireshell 🌟🌟

3. As much as I hate the author,,,,, Harry Potter. It's been a major part of my life for as long as I can remember. I can never really remember why, but I've always just loved it- the movies, the books, the extra little merch that would pop up in my local Walmart. Of course my favorite character is Draco Malfoy. I could go on and on and ON about how I think his character arc was SHIT and JKR didn't have the balls to make him a confident gay man that was always implied through the text (at least, my lesbian ass thought it was implied but i may just be projecting, idk). I could ramble about Draco for HOURS and what I think his character SHOULD have been and how his parents are horrible (more specifically, Lucius bc Narcissa [?] Actually showed a few good moments), and a child should never have to pay for their parents sins.

Oh noo, Draco's a villain because he's a victim of major abuse and peer pressure? He's a villain because a literal child can be horrible and they'll always always always stay as a horrible little fiend?? Fuck that. He's a child.

Unlike manchild grease pan Snape, who was a racist piece of shit and shouldn't have became a fucking school teacher but it's okay because he was ~~~in love~~~. No, fuck you, he was a creep. James Potter n Co may have been a little posh bitch to you, Snape, but that's no fucking excuse to continue to bluntly be a little cunt all the way into adulthood. You're an adult who flatly changed your PATRONUS to imitate Lily's. You have no excuse. And Harry went and named his child after you LIKE JESUS CHRIST, DID RON'S SISTER NOT HAVE A SAY IN THE NAMES TOO?????

I also fully adore the idea that Muggles can run into Hogwarts and their patronus can 100% be a made up, fantasy creature. Imagine you learn the patronus spell and suddenly fucking ARCEUS comes from your wand. Imagine learning the spell and CHTULU (i did not spell that right but im so tired) comes from your wand-- an entire ass fucking Lovecraftian, Eldrith horror is just the embodiment of you. What if it was a fucking Homestuck character like Vriska? How fucking METAL would that be?? Hskajssowjjsjs get on it fandom.

4. Hee hee very evident by my url but Pokemon is another major thing of mine. While vespiquen isn't my favorite (that title goes to Hydreigon), it is definitely up there!

I've ALWAYS enjoyed the idea of Pokemon. You run around, training up these fight monsters and collecting them. I remember playing my sister's Ruby version on her flip-up Gameboy. I couldn't even read but I ran around catching god only knows how many of the same pokemon wherever she was. Apparently, I had fought for hours in the same area and leveled her Blaziken up to lvl 50 something and left her lvl 30s in the dust LMAO.

I got my first game when it was Pearl/Diamond. It was Pearl, and it still holds a very fond place in my heart. I could barely read, I could barely write-- I had named my Turtwig something along the lines of "MmorpHy" and my player boy "ZbsibJ". Yes I remember the names slightly. I really didn't get far-- I barely got to the first gym but I was just so happy to play it.

I eventually lost the game, as a 5 year old would do, but I can still vividly remember what was happening when the game arrived. I had just came back from the dentist and was quite tired from fighting the dentist bc I was super scared. Mom suddenly handed me a box and said it was mine-- my overseas (at that time) dad had bought me Pearl and my sister Diamond, because I lost my shit about it when he visited one time.

Well, tdlr, I played it for about five minutes while struggling to stay awake against the loopy gas they made me take. I fell asleep listening to Twinleaf Town's soundtrack. Every time I play a rom of Pearl and I get to where the player's house fades in and I hear that first tune of the song, I get a huge smile on my face and cry-- as.. Weird as it sounds.

A few years later, I had gotten Pokemon Black bc I liked Reshiram on the cover. Now, this one I could actually READ when playing, but I don't remember a lot of things about it. I probably lost this one too, as a 8/9 year old would do. I DO remember, I chose Snivy and my sister chose Tepig (hrmm there's a theme here of grass/fire goin on......) and vibing to the music. I was so amazed by the sprites moving, I just kept getting into encounters to see the sprites move (oh boy, no one tell younger 7-9 y/o me about Zelda......oh wait....)

Playing Pokemon NOW, as a 17 year old """gifted""" chick, I stil have very fond memories. I recently beat Pokemon Black again and GOD the OTS SLAPS. I fucking adore the soundtrack-- the track that plays when you battle a trainer, the low health dings being turned into a legit song that also slaps, the battle! gym leader themes-- and oh my gOd, the legendary theme is amazing? It really tells you just how glorious these pokemon are supposed to be. It's not intimidating like Groudon/Kyroge/Rayquaza's themes. It's not action packed like Palkia/Dialga's is, it's not filled with tension like Giratina/Arceus's is-- but it radiates the GLORY that the beasts portray. And I live for that. (Also, Kyurem's version is my favorite because it glitches in the beginning and that's rly cool)

P/D/P and BW/BW2's stories, imo, are some of the greatest ones. Yeahhh, US/USUM's is cool and I haven't played XY nor SwSh-- but the ones I can find memorable are PDP and BW/BW2. I love N. I love Barry. They're my sons. Ghetsis is fucking terrifying, Cyrus needs a hug. Giratina scared the piss out of me when I was younger, which was NOT helped by Giratina and The Sky Warrior.

I think my favorite movies are the gen 4 ones. The Rise of Darkrai having a tear-jerking theme for such a mysterious pokemon (i still tear up when i hear Ocarion), Giratina being spiteful is a mood and Shaymin was cute, Arceus being angry is also a mood. Yeah, Pokemon 4Ever made me cry my eyes out over Celebi, Mewtwo Returns made me again cry because Mewtwo accepting who he is, I remember how vastly different the BW movies are-

I just. I have a lot of memories with the series, even if Gamefreak and Nintendo kinda do the series dirty a lot (your top-grossing thing and you made That monstrosity for the Switch? How dare you.). It's comforting to be stressed and pull up my roms for the games and to play them. Mystery Dungeon is incredibly fun to play, Pokemon Ranger is really fun with the concept (Shadows of Almia continues to kick my ass to this very day and FUCK the Jungle Relic, I hate the Water Challenge fucking gyarados bullshit). I remember the pokemon I got for MD (I got Time, my sis got Darkness) was Mudkip, if that is any help.

I love my little fictional pixel monsters.

5. Yup, someone told tiny 7-9 y/o me about console games. The legend of Zelda. My first Zelda game was Twilight Princess on the Wii and BOY did I play the fucking SHIT out of that game.

Honestly, looking back and looking at playthroughs now-- I still love TP. Twilight Princess is still one of my top favorite Zelda games-- yes, even after playing OoT, Majora's Mask, Wind Waker, Skyward Sword, the anniversary four swords edition for the DS where you could play by yourself (Nintendo pls bring that back, I don't have friends to play it with ;-;), Phantom Hourglass- ect.

Something about Twilight Princess grabbed me by the head and yeeted me into the world. I can remember playing it for hours with little to no breaks. I, a tiny 9 y/o, had gotten the hang of the controllers and managed to get past the tutorial quite easily. And then, I was launched into the game and I wasn't stopping for NOTHING. Mom and Dad would have to force me to save and get off to go and eat dinner. THAT sucked.

I had done everything on my own up until the first temple, the forest temple. Not where/when you saved the dumb kid, but when you were saving the spirit's light. Theeeeeeennn I got stuck on the fucking Forest Temple for deadass six months straight. I'd play for hours, running around in circles, unable to figure out where to go, and because I didn't grasp the temple's purpose of being that way- I'd get angry and get off. It wasn't until dad looked up a walkthrough and talked me through what I was supposed to do that I learned how to get through temples.

I had gotten to the last little fight with Ganondorf before the Wii broke and i could no longer play. Despite the Wii being broke and we got rid of it, I was ADAMANT on keeping the game, and I kept that game for YEARS. It was an original copy out of a sealed box, and I eventually lost it when I left it accidentally at my now ex-friend's house.

She had a Wii and I went "hey I have a Wii game!" And I brought my Zelda over. Worst fucking choice of my goddamn life. Mom called me to come home and said I couldn't sleep over like the original plan was, and that was it. My ex-friend stashed my Zelda and I never saw it again. And, even if I wanted to-- I couldn't get it back, which makes me upset. We had a BAD falling out. She likely doesn't even remember it's there, or sold it to the local game junkie kid who buys ALL games.

But I still love the game. Midna was amazing, and I loved how snarky she was and she has a very cute design! The game's OST is fucking phenomenal. Midna's Desperate Hour makes me cry bc goddamn it really sells how serious that situation is. I love Hyrule Field's theme in this game. I love the Twilight Realm's song. Zant was fucking hilariously scary. Ganondorf's design in this game scared the piss out of me when I was younger.

Midna and this game's Link and Zelda are def my favorites. Yeah yeah, Sheik is cool and all I Guess but dhsushwishs Midna holds the special place in my heart. She was totally my gay awakening BUT

For other game antagonists, I adore Ghirahim-- let's go you funky little queer-coded villain. Skull Kid was great, I love the entire dynamic of him. Prankster lost soul stumbles upon Majora's Mask and the mask makes him act out due to powers-- which, I actually took very heavy inspiration from for one of my OCs. The moon falling to Hyrule was a fucking terrifying looming threat.

But the game series holds a place, and I've yet to be able to play BoTW-- although, I'm fairly certain I'll like it. The playthroughs I've watched of it are all fairly decent! I just. Gotta save up enough money to buy it haha.

Dang guess I gotta go watch a Twilight Princess playthrough again.

Honorable Mentions:

Avatar: the Last Airbender, specifically Book 3

my OCs definitely make me happy, they're my children and I'd ramble A LOT longer if given the chance WHEEZE

My friends, but I didn't add them here bc it's more fictional stuff, I presume

Baking. I love to bake cupcakes.

Painting is fun. I'm an artist and goddammit im going to use painting as an excuse to make a mess.

Fire. I rly like fire, down to a pyromaniac level. However, i hate the fires that happened to my home town, the Great Smokey Fires of 2016-- THAT pissed me off. How dare you burn mountain landscapes to the ground. Perish.

History. I'm a history nerd.

I'm also a science nerd.

But fuck math, I cannot comprehend math to save my life.

For some reason, I rly like learning how the human body works??? like did you know, organs are actually sticky when touched by a bare hand?? Did you?? How fucking cool is that.

Bakugan. I love Bakugan, esp the DS game. I love my Darkus Leonidas. Give me back the online world, you peasants-- I want my Darkus Dragonoid. (Also fuck all my friends from when I was in kindergarten- my theory that Alice was Masquerade was somewhat correct.)

#admin ace #admin ace speaks #communistvriska #inbox tag #homestuck #warrior cats #harry potter #pokemon #legend of zelda

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bondtravels · 5 years

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Story time

So last night I saw Neck Deep, Blink-182, and Lil Wayne in Pittsburgh. I got pretty drunk but I was in bed by midnight. While in bed, I remembered that I saw Kells posted on Twitter earlier that he was going to be at his pop up shop in Cleveland the next day at 11am. In my drunk bliss, I sent a girl I went to hs with a message bc I knew she loved MGK. I asked if she was busy the next day and wanted to drive up with me. She said yes but that she was working until 6am (she’s a waitress and it was a Saturday night). We decided we would leave by 7am bc Cleveland is about 3 hour drive from where we live. Poor girl 😂.

I slept for 5 hours and woke up nauseous and hungover as fuck from the Blink show. I was so sick that I puked shortly after waking up. I had a pounding headache. Yet I still got my shit together and left to go pick up my friend. She was running on 0 hours of sleep. We were a mess but we got to Cleveland by 10am. There weren’t that many people standing in line outside the pop up shop which was surprising. Of course the line grew later on and we made friends with some people while waiting.

One of the kids in the line was wearing devil horns, an EST bandana, a purple suit, and shoes that said “EST kid.” He was so sweet. He was holding a wrapped present. When we asked his mom about the present she said that her son told her Kells’ new album sounded sad and that he wanted to get him a present. I’m not sure what was in it, I didnt wanna intrude. But how damn sweet of him. His name is Xander. Kells ended up just giving him merch for free. 😭. When they were leaving I heard his mom keep saying, “I can’t believe that just happened.”

The night before, Kells posted on his insta a video of a tray of shots. So I knew he would be in the same hungover shape as I was and I knew his ass wouldn’t show up at 11am 😂. The sun was blazing down, I hadn’t ate because of my hungover nausea, and I was dying of thirst. Meanwhile my friend is almost falling asleep standing. 😂 He rolled up at 1130 or so, and walked by the entire line of people and put them on his insta. We were on his insta story. My friend and I were going insane. Also thank god for her bc she’s taller than me and was able to get some better pics/vids for me.

Once we got into the shop, there were two lines. One was to buy merch and the other was to get it signed. We bought shirts and Kells’ daughter was the one running the register. She was so cute and sassy 😂. People were being slow, so she pounded on this hotel bell saying, “next?????????” She complimented my friends nails and was surprised to hear my friend got them from Walmart and that they were press ons. She was so adorable. You can see her to the right in the pics we got of Kells and Xander.

There were two douche bags in front of the line that went into the shop with a massive amount of shit for Kells to sign that they had brought in from outside, not merch from the shop. When he said no, the douche bags got kicked out and proceeded to throw a fit. Saying, “he won’t sign anything. He won’t take pictures with anyone” blah blah blah. Kells asked the group of us inside if anyone of his real fans were blocked from getting in by said douche bags. We said no. He seemed to truly care about his fans getting in and being able to get the merch they wanted. He did ask for no photos, though. Which I can respect. I’m bummed I couldnt get a picture with him, of course, but I respect that he’s probably exhausted. I was thankful for him even signing shit, tbh. Came to find out later that one of the douche bags posted a hat Kells signed on eBay for almost $400 and a title that said “RARE.” What a dick. People like that end up ruining shit like this for people like us. I hope Kells never sees it, honestly.

While I was waiting in the “sign” line, Kells came back to the middle of the line to tell us he had to go to a baseball game. He stuck out his tongue at the mention of the game (which was crazy adorable) and you could tell he didn’t want to leave. I was terrified I wasnt gonna get him to sign my shirt before he left. But he said, “I wanna make sure I get everyone in this lines stuff signed before I go.” Bless him. He was begging Ashleigh to stay at the shop longer. He looked at her and said, “Ash do we really gotta go right now?” And then he told all of us to go with him to the game. My loud ass friend was like, “Don’t threaten me with that, I will go to the baseball game just to see you.” 😭

Anyways, he finally got to my friend in line. She is the exact opposite of me. When I meet a famous person I freeze up and go silent. She just blurts out whatever comes into her head. He signs her shirt and her arm bc she asked him to and then it’s my turn. She literally looks at him and goes, “This is my miniature friend.” I’m 5 foot tall. Lmao. He looks at me and goes, “I have a miniature friend too, he plays the drums for me, his name’s Rook.” And I almost died. He signed my shirt and I asked for a hug. He hugged me. And not in the half-assed one arm hug way. Like seriously squeezed my sides. I almost died again.

And that is the end of the story. I was shaking so bad when I left that I could barely type on my phone. 😂 I’m so fuckin glad that this random spur of events just happened. Was today even real?

Some photos are mine, some are my friends.

#mgk #colson baker #machine gun kelly #kells #cleveland #hotel diablo #blink 182 #lil wayne #neck deep #pittsburgh

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honeylikewords · 4 years

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hi!! i was just wondering if youve finished watching the mandalorian, and what you thought of it??

Heya!

I watched all of The Mandalorian; I made sure to watch every episode the day it aired, and always with my family! I now have really fond memories of us all gathering together to see the episodes as soon as everyone was home, and we’ve all rewatched every episode countless times. It’s definitely become something of a comfort series!

So, as you can guess, I really loved the series, and I’m so excited for Season 2! It’s an awful long wait until the next season airs, but I am sure that the wait will be entirely worth it. The wait for Season 1 was, without a doubt, and I really hope that Season 2 continues the series’ greatness!

I was so satisfied with the series and its season finale; it hit every note I wanted it to, and while I could often guess the direction things would go throughout the arc of this first season, I actually found that really satisfying. It meant that any foreshadowing had been done solidly, and that things fit together very naturally and thoughtfully. It felt so refreshing, too, to have a Star Wars story set in the universe that wasn’t just about the Skywalker saga or Jedi; it’s a breath of fresh air to see how “normal” people live in the SW universe, and to explore the worlds outside the confines of the Jedi melodrama.

I also just adore Baby Yoda so much. The day his first toy (the plastic 11′’ doll, which was one of his first-ever official pieces of merch!) went up for sale, I was waiting anxiously on the Walmart website, frantically refreshing the page to make sure I could pre-order him and assure myself that I’d get one. And then I pre-ordered the Funko pop. And I’ll probably order the rest of the toys, too.

I just have to have that little squishy angel baby in my life! I gotta hold him in my arms and kiss his precious green head! He fills my brain with endorphins and my heart with love!

Plus, every day, now, friends and family members send me various pictures of the baby, fanart of him (my favorite is a series from this artist over on Instagram where she draws him eating various snacks from Disneyland!), and memes of him, because everyone knows how much I love him!

His relationship to his now-canonical father, Din, was also SO perfect to be able to watch. For years, I’ve been pining, craving, aching for a series where there’s a genuine gentle warrior adoption story like this, and I finally got one that I didn’t have to invent in fanfiction-land! It actually happened in canon, and I felt so validated! And I think everyone around the world loved it, too, because the series blew up, and everyone and their grandmother rushed to find fanart of the little bebe and his papa goofin’ around, being a family, a clan of two!

I really can’t express how much adoration I have for the series. It truly ticked all my boxes, and I can’t even find the words to convey the place it holds in my heart. I anxiously await its return!

#messages #anonymous #gif warning #i have. Many Feelings abt the series and if anyone wants like a genuine 'critic hat on let's talk about it' review i'd be happy to do one

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sierrabinondo · 5 years

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woodland creatures tour - day 5 (jacksonville)

day 5 was the last day we would spend in florida. i was actually really enjoying it down here and would have loved to stay longer. when we were planning this run i really wanted to do all florida shows but we couldn’t afford the extra mileage that would add to our van rental and in hindsight i think that still going to the carolinas was a good move.

i’m so glad this next gig was so close though, because we could still enjoy our time in orlando for a little bit longer. apparently we needed to check out of the airbnb by 10 or the host would charge us $20 for every like 5 minutes we kept the cleaning ladies waiting outside. so we hauled ass and then decided on a breakfast spot for everyone to go to. i really didn’t want to go to a chain restaurant. after a little bit of searching i found keke’s breakfast cafe, which seemed like a local franchise. had good reviews and looked interesting so we took a chance. i think this was the first like meal we all sat down and had together all of tour. we talked about anime while we waited for our food to come. we ate probably the best breakfast all of tour. my omelette was pretty damn good. santino ordered pancakes and i’m pretty sure they were the fluffiest ones we’ve ever had.

if anyone knows me they know that i love food. once my mind is set on eating something i will literally not rest until i’ve had it. and for the entirety of our time in florida i DESPERATLEY WANTED ICE CREAM. i couldn’t find an ice cream spot on the other side of disney springs we ended up on after my lunch with eton and jeri so we left without ice cream. and i wanted ice cream really badly lmao. apparently, you can still go hang out at the disney resorts even if you don’t have a reservation. that was what all the disney blogs said. so i suggested a quick pit stop at the polynesian for dole whip before we hit the road for jacksonville. the guys were cool with it but it actually took much longer than it should have so it led to a chain of unfortunate events that i will divulge on later. at the time it was fine.

when i’ve stayed at disney i’ve only stayed at the port orleans resorts (which are BEAUTIFUL), and the last time was at a huge condo off the resort. the polynesian is one of the most expensive disney hotels you can stay at. we pull up and at first the security guard doesn’t let us in. i peered my head out the driver’s side window to let her know that we were here because we wanted dole whip lmao. i must have conveyed well enough that we aren’t a threat because she let us through. the resort is soooooo beautiful. and it was so nice out so it was nice to walk around. we had to walk quite a bit to get to the dole whip stand and luckily there wasn’t a wait.

i don’t understand why it was my first time finally having dole whip when it’s always been available to me every time i’ve gone to disney??? but holy shit it was so tasty. i got the pineapple/vanilla swirl. i would have gotten something more elaborate but i was still about to consume dairy the day of a show which is already risky for me haha. joe got a float, i tried a sip and it was so good. i think kris just got pineapple soft serve. it was such an amazing snack while we were sitting there in the heat. i felt pretty damn good.

we then left for jacksonville and what was supposed to be a 2 hour drive turned into 3. that tends to happen (normally we account for this) due to pee breaks and a stop or two for gas. we ended up arriving to the hotel waaaaaay later than we were supposed to, around 5 pm. i still needed to shower, run to walmart to get antacid medicine, and we STILL needed to eat. we needed to load in no later than 7 for the show. i started to get really anxious. i knew there was nothing i could do but i went into panic mode.

we check into the hotel, which actually seems OKAY at first. the girl at the counter is pleasant and complimenting me on my hair while she checks us in. but all i could think of was how fast i was going to throw down my bags and go pick up the tofu stir fry i ordered. i don’t get the luxury of just waiting until we get to the venue to eat because the sooner i eat the less likely my throat will be shitty when i have to sing. so i run to walmart to get my meds and then pick up my food. i went to walmart alone which was ill-advised. for the first time in ages i get cat-called. i know i was wearing shorts that made my non-existent butt look good but i walk around like that all the time and don’t get harassed, ever. the dude didn’t just say “what’s up”. he was like “ooooooOOOOOOOH hey girl what’s UPPPP that booty (yes he literally said ‘booty’) lookin FINE as HELL. what’s up??? how you doin??? what’s up??” like............would not shut up. i just looked down and sped inside the walmart, it looked like he was loading his bags into a car and i assumed he would be gone by the time i came back outside.

nope.

i called jeremiah for when the harassment continued lmao, i was just like “please stay on the phone with me until this is over, in case something happens to me.” i was livid. i go pick up the food while having a quick call to catch up with jeremiah and then i returned to the hotel. and i really thought the misery would end there. but i come back to the room to find out that there are BUGS ALL OVER THE FUCKING WALLS and PUBES IN THE SHOWER. i marched back to the concierge and told that girl in front of a family she had JUST checked in that our room had bugs and pubes. i felt bad for putting that on her but i was furious. she gets us a new room that is still pretty sketchy looking, but we do a check and it’s not in nearly as bad of shape as the other room.

i don’t even get time to shower, i just quickly rinse and shave. i didn’t even get to really do my makeup, i just like touched up whatever was on from this morning and inhaled my stir fry. at least the food was good. pulses. is hitting up the tour chat because they arrived before us (where’s the surprise lol) and they kept saying THERE WAS A DOG AT THE VENUE WHOSE NAME WAS ALSO SIERRA. so whereas this show seemed like it was going to be the least attended i was still pretty damn excited. they also said it was even smaller than will’s pub. i wondered how small they could mean, haha. but yeah. it was small! but! it was in a really cool little bar. there was a beautiful outdoor area with graffiti and the inside was definitely small but it’s not like we were bringing out 30 heads. it ended up working out fine. with the help of one of the locals named adult life, we moved the tables outside to allow for more room.

adult life kindly hopped on the show a few days prior when one of the locals bailed. they were a really tight, awesome punk band that sounded awesome. i did like this weird like nod or like verbal acknowledgement when i saw the vocalist outside warming up lmao it was something like “MY MAN” and i immediately regretted being a fucking weirdo hahahaha. they covered dog days by florence it was so cool. i really enjoyed their set. most importantly they drove alllll the way out from orlando to play with us on a work night which we all immensely appreciated. they were awesome to talk to and it was great to meet them.

while i believe like only 6 people came to this show, the jacksonville crowd was one of the highest quality audiences we played to. everyone was dancing and being really into both our sets, it was cool. i noticed they knew all the words to pulses. songs!!! i always think about how cool it is that if you can get one or two people to dig your music outside your friends circle, it just means that there are infinitely more people out there like them who would come through too, if they knew about your band.

little did i know that more weirdness was unraveling after our set. i notice some guy is chatting up my bandmates as they’re loading up the van. i was outside when he says “oh so i own a couple buildings in the area, this one across the street and two down the road (something like that). i have a couple of employees inside getting a drink, i’m just waiting for them.” ????????? so weird. there’s like a total of 5 people inside that weren’t there for the show, or already working for the bar, and there was no way they were with this guy. the math didn’t add up. but i bopped back inside to go watch the last band, digdog.

digdog ripped. they called themselves party prog and i absolutely back that statement. a really interesting mix of punk and prog music. not like new prog, but like rush and yes maybe??? whatever! they were great!!! really entertaining guys. super nice, too. my bandmates were still outside and i wanted them to come inside and watch so i was blowing up our van’s group chat. i shut off my internet cause my phone was dying and i figured they’d eventually come inside. after like ten minutes, only kris comes inside and no one else. i was like “??????” so my phone dies while we’re watching digdog. and after digdog finishes playing, we’re packing up merch, and my bandmates finally come back to explain to me that the reason why they stayed outside by the van is because that sketchy guy that was chatting them up was conspiring to rob us!!!!!! he started to ask them questions about where we were staying and where we were from. they didn’t want to leave our shit until the guy was gone. oh my god i didn’t even think of the possibility that someone might try to follow us back to the hotel and steal our gear. we’ve been sooo lucky, and we haven’t been robbed on tour. yet. lmao

all in all, jacksonville was definitely a good time but very weird. if we come back (and we would like to!) we will definitely be on our toes lmao.

oh. and we still found a roach in our room the next day. roaches are the devil i know (had them for years at the apartment in asbury) but that still sucks. don’t stay at the hospitality inn jacksonville!!!!!!!!!!

#woodland creatures tour

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femmedplume · 6 years

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Bastille @ the Wiltern (aka How Dan Smith Kissed Me)

Okay friends, strap in, this is gonna be a ride -- partially because I’s super excited, and partially because this is my ONE CHANCE to get revenge for the millions of SPN Con breakdowns I’ve had to read over the years, lol. ((BUT, because I am a nice nice Stitch, I shall put a read more break and you can scroll to the bottom if all you want to read is the kiss part lol.))

To start off, dis me and mah buddy Mikey ( @gnaist)

We have known each other since fucking JUNIOR HIGH, and (as I told him last night,) there are v v few people I enjoy enough to tolerate them for over twenty years, let alone still actively want to see them. Dis guy? He dat guy. :) And he also puts up with me with minimal complaining.

Mikey and I share a birthday week, and we usually do something together (just us) during September to celebrate. This year, he was sweet enough to agree that our Birthday Shenanigans™ should take place at the ONE gig Bastille’s playing in LA -- not because he's a fan, but because I am. #FriendshipGoals

So first, I got all dolled up, with fancy pink and purple hair and Bastille-themed nails:

(That’s 00:15 for their song Quarter Past Midnight, a ∆ , and a letter for each member of the band: Charlie (guitar), Woody (drums), Will (bass), Kyle (keyboards), and Dan (lead singer))

Then, I drove to Mikey’s and gave him his half of our newest tradition: Birthday Socks!! One for me and one for him.

We had dinner at this awesome patisserie close to Mikey’s awesome new place (shoutout to him for Adulting and buying his first condo!) We also got cake because Birthday Shenanigans™.

The food was super tasty, and the cakes were CHOCOLATE AF (don’t talk to me about my allergies, okay? Is mah BIRTHDAY)

We were running late, so we actually ate in the Lyft (the driver was nice enough to let us, and we were careful not to spill.) We got to the Wiltern at 7pm, JUST as they started letting people in.

Once we got in, we got overpriced (but very tasty) drinkies (Birthday Shenanigans™)

And then Mikey informed me that if we were going to a concert, we were getting merch. (Mikey is v v wise and a literal doctor, so I 100% believe anything he tells me.) We got shirts!

He got a cute Quarter Past Midnight shirt (that was also unusually soft and high quality,) and I got the tie-dye one that’s based off Dan Smith’s actual shirt. I’mma cut up the collar like I do with all my shirts because I hate t-shirt collars.

Then we went inside the actual theatre, which is an Art Deco beauty. They’d taken out all the seats, but the orchestra section has many shallow levels/risers, and people could basically choose which section they wanted to stand in. There was a bar INSIDE the theatre. The lighting was too low for good pics, but you can sorta see in this:

The very front pit and center section were filled with people who hadn’t sauntered in four hours late with chocolate mousse cake -- but there was space off to the right where we could stand and only two people were in front of us. YAY!

Then we waited. And waited. AND WAITED LIKE WTF PEOPLE?? I figure the Wiltern wants to give people time to buy drinks and stuff, but two HOURS???

Finally, about 9pm, the support act came on: a female singer named Fletcher? Anyone heard of her? Anyway, she was really good, had a gorgeous voice -- although we couldn’t understand what she was singing, but that was more because of the mic set up.

(Das her. V petite and blonde and has a looooot of songs about breakups, lol.)

Once Fletcher finished her set, there was another break while the road crew set up Bastille’s equipment. It was sort of fun to watch, because they’re all English blokes so they’re chatting away in cute accents while they’re doing the setup.

And then, FINALLY, Bastille came on stage.

And it.

Was.

WORTH IT.

They went hard from the moment they stepped on stage, and kept the energy up the entire time.

I cannot fully express to you how electric they are live -- but let’s just say that all the good pictures are Mikey’s because a) he is the bestest of friends and played cameraman for the evening -- but also b) I was too busy jumping around with Dan to get any actual images of Dan jumping around

He even raced up to the balcony during Flaws, WHILE SINGING and dancing. (I was a bit disappointed he didn’t come by where we were standing, but I was also happy for the balcony peoples because you don’t normally get to interact much in the balcony. Also: ART DECO!!!)

Dan Smith’s voice was PEAK HONEY, and he did all the songs I hoped he would: The Draw, Blame, Quarter Past Midnight...hell, I’ll just show you the set-list, which I got to see after the show:

(The girl holding it was the one who got to keep it -- she was super sweet and a HUGE fan who’d been to tons of concerts but had never gotten a hold of a set-list, so we were all happy she finally got one! :D)

SIDENOTE:

During the show, there was this moment in the song Bad Blood where Dan came over to the side of the stage where we were standing. Now, the camera lens makes it seem like we were farther away than we were, like this:

When in reality we could see more like this:

So the band could see our faces, too. So during Bad Blood, Dan’s singing, and I’m singing along with him (like a goober) and I raised my hand like you do when you’re feeling a song...

and he RAISED HIS HAND BACK AND SANG TO ME!

For like, two seconds, but still. It was a MOMENT.

After that, I was floating on Cloud 9 -- so when the concert ended, I was ready to call it a perfect night. But when we went out (the back exit, as it was closer,) Mikey mentioned that because the line had stretched around the far corner of the Wiltern, we’d never gotten a chance to get a pic of the actual marquis.

So we paused, and I looked back at the theater alley and thought -- huh, I wonder if they might...come out afterwards? Mebbe sign a few things? I has this nice shirt I spent too much money on...mebbe they sign my nice shirt, eh?

So Mikey went to get his pic of the marquis, which came out FABULOUSLY:

And then we settled in to wait at the end of the alley where we thought they might come out. Turns out, we were at the wrong end. So after like, 30 mins of waiting on one end, we (there were like, 20 of us) meandered over to the OTHER end of the alley, where the band’s cars were waiting and the crew was loading out the equipment.

BTW, the Bastille crew? Super sweet, English and American, and those boys fucking HUSTLED. They were rolling 300-400lb equipment into this semi, basically doing the world’s largest game of Tetris, trying to fit everything in. We was all v v impressed.

They also brought us water?? Because we’d been waiting for an hour and a half at this point and they felt bad, like...?? AND THEN, they gave us the balloons from the set!!

And all the fans were really nice, and started taking the bunches of balloons apart so that everyone who wanted a balloon could have one (I got a green one, mah favorite color!)

So we’re waiting. And waiting. And WAITING GODDAMN DON’T THEY HAVE CLOCKS IN ENGLAND??

The crew finishes loading, the semi backs out, still we wait. Their manager finally comes out and says that yes they’re coming out, but probably only going to take a couple of group shots with all of us/not sign anything or chat. Why? Because the boys are exhausted. He tells us they’ve flown from England to Sacramento to Vegas to LA in 3 days and played 4 shows, soo... understandable situation.

EXCEPT for this one fan, who started whining at the manager. “I didn’t wait ALL THIS TIME for some fucking group shot, I want a SELFIE!” “I need Dan to take a pic of me with my SIGN!!” (She kept harping about her sign... is no even a good sign?)

Then, when it looked for a second like maybe the boys weren’t coming out at all, she snaps “You PROMISED they were coming!!” >:( The tone of this person’s voice, man -- you know the one? Like she’s Sharon at the Walmart and they were out of stock of Pantene Pro-V or some shit and they OWED HER some gotdamn PANTENE and where is the manager?? Ugh.

Anywho, the boys come out. (Except Will. He might have already fallen asleep, IDK lol.) But there was a Dan and a Kyle and a Woody, and they all not ONLY took some group shots, but DID give hugs and stuffs.

(Dan giving hugs. Woody, who was totally smiley and friendly and not a miserable git like this pic makes him look...right after this moment he ran over and gave the girl next to me a hug. Kyle was off to my right, giving many hugs and taking many pictures.)

(Dan in a taco hat a fan had given him. Woody heading back after giving many hugs.)

(Dan apologizing profusely because someone gave him a shirt for a present and he hadn’t realized that there was an image of a nekkid lady in the art collage on the front, and we were all ladies and he didn’t want us to feel uncomfortable or think he was a misogynist so he covered it up oh god he’s such a cinnamon roll I cannot!)

And now, the moment you’ve been waiting for: THE KISS.

So, during the interminable waiting, (literally, TWO HOURS PLUS, you guys!) several of us started chatting -- during the chat, it came up that I has made a Bastille art. I showed the ladies this pic:

because we were all talking about Dan shaving his head and I was trying to convince them it was actually kinda hot, lol.

They really liked the art!! :D So much so that they convinced me (after many prods and encouragements) to show the art to Dan. And I was gonna do it, honest! I was super brave and not at all terrified.

But then came the whole they’re too tired thing and I was like, eh, mebbe no?

And THEN, Superbitch Fan was standing right next to me DEMANDING that Dan take a selfie with her and her sign. (Which he did, like a sweetheart.) Then when he went to turn to me, Superbitch decided she didn’t like the first pic, and PUSHED IN FRONT OF ME AND PAST THE SECURITY BARRIER to demand he take another one.

Which he did, like a sweetheart -- but then turned past me, probably so she couldn’t grab him again. So I figured, lost cause, right?

Wrong. As he turned back, I was holding the phone out, but not quite up, kind of undecided -- and it caught his eye.

Daniel Campbell Smith GASPED, CLUTCHED HIS HEART

and said “Wow.” Looked at the pic, then back to me, said, “Did you...”

And I held it up and said “Um, yes, I made you...an art?” (Because you know, what are words and why would I, a writer, know how to use them?)

And he just gaped, like HE had no words -- and then leaned in and KISSED ME ON THE CHEEK.

And not a peck, either?? Like a firm, full on “you are amazing and so is your art thing thank you so much” kiss for several seconds??

AND MIKEY GOT THE PIC!

TL;DR:

It may be blurry, but there it is! Immortalized for all time, the moment Daniel Cinnamon Roll Smith liked my artwork SO MUCH he had to kiss me to say thank you.

And then, dear friends, I died.

I have, in fact, been writing this diary from my condo on the edge of the Lake of Fire in Hades. Because I’m dead.

BEST. NIGHT. EVER!!**

((Bonus: Mikey is now a Bastille fan! He really liked the concert, and is going to make his own playlist based on the concert’s set list. I’m so freaking happy we got to share that!! :DDDD))

((Super-bonus: Look in the right-hand corner of the kiss pic. See that woman looking like she’s having her night ruined? THAT was Superbitch. HA!))

**All credit to @gnaist for taking pictures of the entire night, even when I didn’t know he was shooting lol.

#this has been the entirely true diary of your friendly neighborhood Stitch #thanks for reading #I promise I'll post some video of the concert in a bit #stitch in real life #bastille #dan smith: deep enough to drown #concert #the wiltern #live music #fanart #IDK what else to tag this but I feel like I's missing something?#oh!#the doctor and stitch

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voldiebuns · 5 years

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HalLUDOween!!

So last weekend I went to HalLUDOween, aka Ludo's one night only, first time in six years concert! They're my favorite band and since I didn't think I'd ever get to hear them again in concert, of course I had to go. Even if it was in St. Louis, an approximately 11 hour drive from home lol But @biffelderberry and I figured it would be worth it, and it so was :D

We started out early Friday morning since it was going to be a long drive and we had to pick up a rental car since neither of our cars was up to such a drive. Of course we found out like an hour into the drive that the model we got had had a recall put out that very morning, but thankfully we didn't have any problems with it. The drive was actually not too bad, despite being so long and being mostly a drive through boring wilderness. We'd put together an approximately 13 hour playlist, so we had plenty of music to sing along with. And we made lots of stops at Taco Bell so I could get their potato tacos bc I'm apparently obsessed lol I ended up eating Taco Bell for every meal Friday, which was probably not a good idea, but it tasted fucking awesome.

(Me, left, and Biff at the beginning of the drive.)

Made it to the hotel around 8 maybe. There were two guys from Chicago in the check in line in front of us who we think may have been there for the concert as well, but the cool part was when we went down to breakfast in the morning, we met two other ppl who were there for the concert! They were from Wisconsin and California, so it was cool to talk to them for a bit about how much we all love Ludo and were so happy we were getting to see them again. We'd planned to use most of Saturday to explore St. Louis, since we'd come so far anyway. We'd wanted to do a ghost tour, but that didn't end up working out, but we did do a few other cool things. We went to an antiques store where we couldn't afford anything, but it still had some really interesting stuff. Then we went over to Grand Street, which I gather is kind of the popular downtown street. We ate at Lulu's Local Eatery, which is a small, hippster-y vegan place. I got the mac n cheese and Biff got the sliders, both of which were fucking delicious. Also very filling, which was a little disappointing bc we'd hoped to share the carnitas loaded tots after lol After that we went to a nearby comic book store. The owner was super nice and we talked to him about Ludo a bit (I was wearing my Ludo shirt) bc apparently everyone in town knew about this concert lol He'd had some other ppl in earlier who were going, I think from New York? Or maybe Arizona. We basically spent the whole weekend hearing from ppl in town about ppl coming in from out of state for the concert. Anyway, after that we did a little more walking around, mostly bc we wanted to look at all the pretty trees, and then went to Walmart to pick up some food (they have a So Delicious cashew milk chocolate cookies and cream ice cream that is to die for!). And crosstitching stuff bc Biff wanted to do an AO3 inspired bookmark design, and I thought it sounded fun as well. Also got some face masks bc why not. Which actually turned out not to be the best idea... When we got back to the hotel, I tried out my clay mask and it didn't go well. I did put a little too much water in it, but I don't think that accounts for how I apparently had an allergic reaction to it. Seriously, when I took it off, I looked like I had a rash all over my face. Thankfully my makeup skills were enough to cover it up, but I did end up sitting with a cool cloth on my face for awhile just to be sure the only reaction was the rash. Here's a picture of me post concert with half my makeup wiped off (the red side was waaaay better than when I first took off the mask):

So got ready, blah blah blah. And then it was time for the concert!! Costumes were encouraged, but since we didn't actually bring any, we just dressed up. My outfit of the night, which I loved bc I'd been waiting for an excuse to wear that crop top:

We took a Lyft to and from the venue since we didn't want to deal with parking or driving back at who knew what time. Which was probably a good thing bc the whole area around there was packed. More so for the second show, where the lines were literally down the block, but even for the first show. Bc of my trying to deal with a sudden allergic reaction rash, we were running a little late, so we got there like halfway through the opener. He was pretty good from what we heard, so I'll probably look up his music at some point. We had assigned seats in the balcony, which I was really glad of even if they cost more than GA down below. We would have had to get there hours early to get a good place there and would have had to stand, which I really am not up to for long amounts of time. But our seats were actually really good and we had a fantastic view of the stage. Except for the railing being right at eye level lol Since the concert was Halloween themed, they of course had some Halloween elements for the stage and their costumes. There were a couple of big, glowing blow up ghosts on either side of the stage. When the show started, about a dozen ppl came out in sheet ghost costumes and ran away around for awhile until it was just the band and they took off the sheets to show they were wearing skeleton onesies. Which I really really want one of now tbh.

Here's the vid I took of the intro. It was honestly so so awesome to see them in concert again. The first and only time I saw them before was in 2011, which was right before they basically broke up (ie they all just drifted away to other things and the band was no more). They did pretty much the song set that I'd been expecting, though there were a couple of things they sang that I hadn't expected. (They'd done a poll on twitter with Topek, Girls on Trampolines, and a couple of others, so since Topeka won I wasn't expecting them to play Girls on Trampolines.) And they did my top three favorite songs of theirs! Including Andrew going solo on my absolute favorite, Horror of Our Love! I took a vid of that too of course, which you can prob hear both Biff and I singing along to. They ended the concert with a cover of the Ghostbusters theme song and having a bunch of kids come out to throw candy to the crowd, which was a fun way to end it. There was no new music, aside from the two covers they did, which I think all of us had been hoping for. Even though we knew it was unlikely since the week before was the first time they'd all been in a room together in years. Still, the music and the experience of being part of the crowd was just as fantastic as last time. So yeah, the concert was amazing all around and totally worth the ridiculous drive :D After, we went down the block to the merch store, bc there was definitely no way I was leaving without something. We stood out in the cold for an hour waiting in line, which was fine except for the couple behind us was being really critical of the show and really annoying. We found out the reason it was taking so long was that the band was in the merch store talking to fans and signing stuff and taking pictures, which I hadn't expected. Of course their handler started telling them they needed to leave basically as soon as we got up to the front of the line. But! They were being pretty slow about it bc they wanted to keep talking to the fans, so Matt, the drummer, ended up at the door at the same time we were and he gave us hugs! He also said thanks for coming again, which made it sound like he recognized us? But idk. Anyway, as awesome as that was, the best part was apparently the girl behind us really wanted a hug from him and we were the last ones he hugged before leaving. Vengeance is sweet :D Anyway, I ended up with a t-shirt and a poster for the concert, plus a couple smaller ones from previous tours that they were giving away for free. There was a really cool tree print that I wish I would have gotten, so I hope they put that up online. There was a vinyl of the last CD as well that I wanted, but I really didn't feel like I could justify that as well. Maybe they'll put it up online too.

We took a Lyft back, which was a bit of an experience bc we had to cross the street to get to our ride and some asshole apparently was tired of waiting in traffic and tried to speed around while we were in the crosswalk. He stopped in time, but Biff really thought he was going to hit me :/ But we made it back to the hotel safely and met the lady from breakfast again. We ended up talking to her for awhile, which was fun bc she's been following the band for a long time and is apparently knows them personally bc of that. Sunday morning we slept in a bit bc we'd been out so late. We were both very glad we had decided not to drive home that day lol We went back out to Grand Street and had lunch at Lemongrass, a Vietnamese place there. I got the tofu summer roll and sesame tofu, and the sesame tofu was seriously good omg. After that we did some more walking and went to a bookstore we'd seen on Saturday. It was really cool and had a pretty fantastic variety of stuff spread out over three levels. We met a local Ludo fan there (we were both wearing the shirts we bought) who hadn't gotten to go to the concert and talked to her a little. Afterward we went over to the St. Louis Art Museum since they were supposed to have a textiles exhibit that sounded really interesting. We didn't end up finding it, and we only got to stay about half an hour before they closed, but it was still really fun. Plus they had some gorgeous views out front, some beautiful fall maples, and a statue of, apparently, Saint Louis.

We thought about going to the zoo after that, since it was literally across the street, but they were having some Halloween event and there were hundreds of small children everywhere. We decided that wasn't something we wanted to deal with lol So we went and picked up lunch from Fred and Ricky's Plant Delicious Foods, a lttle vegan grab and go place, instead and took it to eat at the hotel. The food was pretty good, though probably the best part is that I found out they ship nationwide, so I can order from there sometime if I want. Which is nice bc we really don't have many vegan places here. Monday it was time to leave. Because the drive home was long and we had to get back before the rental place closed at six, we got up at 5 am to head out. It wasn't too terrible, but we were definitely still tired. And I fell coming down the stairs with my suitcase and bruised my ass. It still hurts :/ Drive home seemed longer than the one there, probably bc I didn't really want to be going home lol It's so interesting how every time I go away for a fun weekend, it hits me when I get back how much I hate living at my house and in my city and in Texas in general. So I guess good motivation to try to find a way to move out sooner rather than later. So the weekend was fantastic! There were a few other places we would have liked to go, like the City Museum and some more vegan restaurants, but overall we hit some good places and had a lot of fun. Plus just the landscapes up there were so so pretty. We don't have trees like that in Texas lol But we're definitely thinking of going back to St. Louis sometime to see some more stuff. And maybe see Ludo again, if this concert was a sign of things to come! But of course it coudn't be all good. My throat was feeling a bit scratchy on the way home Monday, and by Tuesday I was pretty sick. Thankfully I had the whole week off plus Monday and Tuesday this week (I'd been hoping to go to a Star Trek meet up this weekend, but I couldn't afford it after all). I'm hoping I'm well by the time I go back to work, but it's been kind of a sucky way to spend my time off! But still worth it for Ludo lbr :D

(If you want to see the food pics I took, they’ll go up on my food blog: @foodandmind)

#Ludo #Ludo Rock #HalLUDOween #Night of the Living Ludo #personal #literal GPOY #image heavy #long post

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feitanswife · 6 years

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Because I’m angry at life and like old memes: Washington State Gothic

-“Evergreen state!” You say so proudly. It hasn’t rained in months. Everything is dead it hasn’t rained in months but the trees are fine. Ever. Green.

- every summer there’s a fire, a few fires, everything is on fire. The sky is full of smoke, no one goes outside. You drive through where they said the fire was, everything is fine. Did they put the fire out? They never said they got it out. Did they ever say they got last years fire out? The place your standing was burnt black on the news last week. Wow, they restored it all so fast. Even the grass. It’s like it never happened, but that’d be silly, there’s smoke in the air! There has to be a fire somewhere.

- there’s four Starbucks stores in your town, one in Safeway, one in Fred Meyer, one with a drive through, and one in a weird spot with only three parking spaces. That one is always packed, even if every parking space in the entire shopping center is open. The drinks you get there never taste quite right. Safeway gets it right every time. Why don’t you just walk across the street to that one? Why don’t you?

-if you go west, the city doesn’t stop. You’ve been driving for five minutes, you’re in Tacoma now. You’ve been driving ten hours, you’re still in Auburn. How does it work? You don’t know. You don’t pay attention to where you’re going but you get where you wanted to be. Somehow. But if you go east... don’t go east.

- no one stops in Yakima. If you’re going to the east, maybe to Idaho I dunno, you don’t stop in Yakima. You wait. You don’t know why you don’t stop in Yakima, but you do, you wait until the rest area if you’re going to stop.

-your neighbor is a witch, no one questions it. Your coworker is a witch. Your boss is a witch. The cashier at the grocery store is a witch. The lady giving out samples at Costco is a witch. You’re a witch.

- along with that, you have crystals. You didn’t buy them. You know their names and what they mean. It’s in a notebook on your dresser, in your handwriting. When did you write that down?

- you have six types of neighbors.

1 There are ones who you’ve never seen, never spoken to, but you know their names, jobs, and where they hide their spare key. You don’t know how you know this.

2 You have an elderly white couple with too much money to live in that neighborhood, they’re nice, befriend them.

3 There’s the weed dealer and his overachiever kid. The kid is a witch. According to the people who can remember, theyre the one who initiated you.

4 There’s the do-all ones. The husband is a lawyer, tech customer service guy, landscaper, contracter, he rides a motorcycle. and his wife is a teacher, a writer, an artist, a therapist, she volunteeers. Where? Somewhere. She’s always volunteering.

5 There’s the ones who don’t speak English. Several kids in the family. They have only one kid who’s fluent despite going to the same public school as any other kids, and they’re in your age group. You’ll speak to them once, and never see them again. The one in your grade and graduate with you, but none of the others seem to age. They grow fruit trees in their yard that really shouldn’t grow in this climate.

6 There’s the ones your parents know. They went to school together. They worked together. They were roommates. They live next door. They don’t have kids. They don’t have lives. They’ve known your parents forever. Their house has no decorations. They don’t plant anything in their yard. Their house is plain white. They have no friends, no pets, and never have anyone over. They’ve known your parents forever.

- you have a classic car in your garage. So does your neighbor. The poorest house has a classic car. On Friday evenings in summer, everyone takes them to the parking lot behind the WalMart. It’s always the same people, but you never recognize the cars.

- you’re going camping. Your boss is going camping. Everyone is going camping. Someone from work left a year ago, said they were going camping. You forgot about them. When they came back, the boss just asked how the trip went. They said it was fine, but it rained and their tent got damp. You still can’t remember the last time it rained.

- “huskies or cougs???? Huskies or cougs????” Everyone asks when you start talking about college. You were planning on going to Central. Everyone goes to Central these days. But when you say that, no one knows where it is. No one sells Wildcat merch. But over 1/3 of your graduating class wanted to go to Central. Your cousin went to Central. Didn’t she? When was she ever gone for school?

- on the subject of how CWU and the town of Ellensburg only seem to sort of exist, I’m just going to put it out here not even joking the Ellensburg Safeway probably houses a portal to hell and it’s also just a shitty store, go to Grocery Outlet or Fred Meyer if you stop there to get something.

- you had a horse growing up, your neighbor has a horse, your best friend has a horse. Everyone has a horse. You live nowhere near a farm and you still hear them.

- your neighbors have chickens. Their neighbors have chickens. You don’t have chickens but they’re here anyway. You move to the city, you still wake up to a rooster’s call. You can’t escape the goddamn chickens.

- you started a garden. Even if you don’t have a yard, you have a garden. Everyone has a garden. You’d have to be crazy to not have a garden! You have buckets of cucumbers. More peas than you can eat. The basil plant is six feet tall. Who needs that much basil? You pick it and dry it anyway, you never seem to have any in the house even though this happens every year. Your lavender plants are spilling into the sidewalk. Your lavender plants are eating local squirrels. You forgot to trim back the rose bush. Its bigger than the house. It’s too late now.

- you have reusable grocery bags. You have fifteen. You keep them in your car. They’re never there. You buy more, and put them in your car. How many bags have you put in your car?

-you own an umbrella or two. You don’t use them. No one does. You don’t remember why but you’d feel mortified to be seen with one. Only outsiders use umbrellas. Tourists. You don’t want to look like a tourist. You really don’t.

- it finally rains, it rains as hard as you’ve ever seen it, the drops bounce feet off the ground. Someone scoffs, “that’s not rain. This, this is a drizzle. You’ll know when it rains.” You stop praying for rain.

- it’s fair time. You’re paying to park in someone’s yard. You win prizes and bring them home, and lose them. You can’t remember what they were, or what games you played, or what you did at the fair. You’re too poor to make rent now and with nothing to show for it. You don’t know why you keep going back, but if it’s fair time, you have to go.

-nobody remembers what happened in middle school. But every time you see things that remind you of your old best friend, you run. You don’t remember why you’re avoiding her. You find a copy of her favorite day game in a parking lot, and you cry. You can’t escape her. You change your style and dye your hair but she always recognizes you. No one says her name. Somehow, you think it might always be her. Everyone is avoiding her.

-do not, for the love of god, pray for snow. If you want snow go to the mountains. Don’t bring it here.

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prixmiumarchive · 6 years

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I saw a post about The Hunger Games movies earlier that I pretty much agreed with in terms of their hyper-representation of white people, their lack of attention to the culturally resonant implications of systemic and racist violence, and so on. Basically, it was praising the books and juxtaposing them with the movies as being vastly inferior products because they shaved off all the rough edges to create a much less complex narrative that focused more on the romantic relationship than the societal implications. And all that is well and good. I am waiting for my good Hunger Games Netflix or Hulu series well into old age. However, I just wanted to say something from my personal experience of The Hunger Games fandom to sort of counter this particular post politely without tacking onto someone else’s viewpoint in a rude way, which is why I’m making my own post.

I got into The Hunger Games back in very late 2011 because I had learned that Jennifer Lawrence was going to be in it. This was on the coattails of my being hyper-obsessed with X-Men: First Class, and this had been my first exposure to Jennifer Lawrence. My first exposure to the name of The Hunger Games series, on the other hand, were meme text posts that were going around when I first joined tumblr in 2011 that were joking about not knowing what “The Hunger Games” were or not having read them. Anyway, basically what happened was that I learned that Jennifer Lawrence was going to be in The Hunger Games movie, and I had enjoyed her in XMFC, and at the time I had a relationship with fandom where I might actually choose to follow and actor or actress’s body of work much more easily than I would now (in fact this is because of THG fandom).

Anyway, I picked up the book and read the back of it and became very excited about the fact that The Hunger Games was set in Appalachia. This was really exciting to me, and because of my own background in Appalachia I always read Katniss as Melungeon. There was a time, early in my experience in that fandom, when I would have died on that hill. Then I realized how sorely underrepresented indigenous peoples are, so while my brain still defaults to Melungeon, I am 100% in support of indigenous Katniss, too. I’m just sharing this for full disclosure, especially if anyone goes back in my THG tags which haven’t been active in a long while even though I still like the story itself in concept. Back to original point, I was excited about a heroine coming from my part of the world in a post-apcoalyptic setting because I tend to think of the south, particularly my part of it, as being kind of erased in fiction and so on.

By the time it became 2012, I had read the first book and was disappointingly convinced that Jennifer Lawrence was a poor casting choice for Katniss. I didn’t really have anyone better in mind off the top of my head, but cornfed, big-boned Jennifer Lawrence was more Glimmer than Katniss. However, I was still willing to watch the movie because i was so excited to have a movie of this thing I had come to love so much, and at the time the only things I knew about Jennifer Lawrence were things about how skilled she was for someone who was within a few months of my age. I was also excited about Josh Hutcherson as Peeta, which is still one of the only casting choices I’m happy with in retrospect.

The point of this post, however, is actually a little word of caution against giving the books too much credit because of their author Suzanne Collins. Now, this is not to say that she did not craft a story that is very meaningful to some people and that perhaps she did not execute her intent with more finesse in certain areas than she was consciously aware of. That happens sometimes, even incidentally. She might have even been aware of her intent and finesse while she was writing the books. That does not account for what happened during the casting and production of the first Hunger Games film, though.

I gobbled up anything I could get my hands on that was about the movie production, the casting, the cast itself, the process behind bringing these books to life. I still have several of the Scholastic tie-in books that I compulsively bought. I bought all the Capitol-based merch being fully aware of how creepy it was. I had a Hunger Games lanyard for years. I was so, so excited about everything. And as I mentioned, the downfall of The Hunger Games behind the scenes stuff and cast and so on in terms of my adoring-respect is one of the main reasons that I don’t actually follow the celebrity behind media I like for the most part now.

While I was doing this, I distinctly remember reading a magazine while walking through Walmart with my mother on a break from college. I cannot remember specifically what the title was except I think it was sort of a special publication, Hunger Games-specific magazine. I can’t quote it directly for you anymore. However, I want you all to be aware that Suzanne Collins actually got a lot more say in casting The Hunger Games movies than most book authors ever get.

In most cases, book authors sell the film rights to their books, and then they are as helpless and waiting with bated breath as the readers/fans of their books are. However, Gary Ross was kind of known as an odd, hands-on director. There are aspects of the unpolished aesthetic of the first film, particularly in District 12, that are far more fitting from the Asheville sets than from the Atlanta ones of the later films, and this is probably greatly owing to Ross’s ~directorial vision~. One of the main reasons they switched directors pretty much immediately after the first film’s success was because Ross wanted to work on a much longer time frame to get the other three movies “right” than the studio wanted to grant him on the coattails of commercial success and 20-something, aging actors playing teenagers.

Ross and Collins were both directly involved in helping with the casting direction. I remember very clearly reading that Collins said that she would have hired Josh Hutcherson to play Peeta had he been a purple dragon with six-foot wings or some description of this nature. Basically, she was saying that his “inner spirit” and understanding of the character was right to the point that it did not matter if he looked like Peeta, let alone even human, to play the role. Now, this might be a nice enough thing to say about Josh Hutcherson when there is absolutely no reason to believe that Peeta can’t be a white, blond boy. However, I think that it is really telling about Collins’s overall approach and attitude toward her allowed input on the casting of the films.

I am a white person. I have never been a published author, a director, or a casting director. Saying that, I think that the casting of The Hunger Games shows a very, very white attitude toward “color blindness” and mixed race people of color in particular. I just kind of want to bullet point a couple of things that I infer kind of must have gone on in Collins’ mind / that go on in some white authors’/creators’ minds unless they examine their own privilege and attitudes about race:

The Hunger Games books literally never once use a word that indicates a current, modern race or ethnic identification.

However, there does seem to be a fair amount of racial segregation between the districts with one or two ethnic or racial groups being typical of each one rather than a lot of diversity.

It was fanon in the pre-movie book fandom that Wiress and Beetee were probably of Southeast Asian appearance because Katniss observes that they have “ashen skin and black hair.” This itself might have been symptomatic of a racism or stereotyping either on the part of the fandom or the text because Beetee and Wiress are from the “technology district” (District 3). I wonder what stereotype that could be, hm. In the films, they are portrayed by a white woman and a black man respectively.

Cinna does not have any particular descriptions about his skin color that I recall. They cast Lenny Kravtiz and I liked this casting choice. However, if you go back and watch The Hunger Games films, you might notice that there is a conspicuous lack of any diversity beyond having white actors and black actors. It was good that they did cast black actors in a few notable roles, I have no doubt, but in my gut I always got this sense that it was a kind of “look at us, we’re being diverse!” rather than an actual attempt to reflect the diversity that was clearly suggested in the text.

Again, Collins said she would have hired Hutcherson had he been a purple dragon.

Collins also said that she had absolutely 0 doubts about Lawrence’s casting as Katniss. I believe that I did once read someone asking her about Katniss’s appearance being described as significantly different from Lawrence, and as I recall, Collins suggested that perhaps there simply were no actresses who looked the way she imagined Katniss to look while the casting call literally only called for white women.

Collins also said in an interview once that she based The Hunger Games concept on her emotional dissonance flipping between channels and finding things like American Idol on while there was coverage of the Iraq War on another station. I’m not saying it’s unfair to give her some credit for having compassion for the child survivors in war-torn areas. However, I might also suggest that anything she has said since about 2011-2012 about it might be kind of her building on a previous thought that she did not necessarily have before other people prompted her thinking. At the time, though, she was saying that it was very much a kind of not-very-thoroughly-researched reaction to popular culture and current events. Now, if she’s grown about it, that’s great, but I’m just saying in terms of this discussion of the movie vs. film quality and diversity thing.

From my understanding, Collins had little to do with the production of the films after the first, but Ross did call on her opinion and input frequently during all stages of the production of the first film.

All of this is getting around to me saying that I think there is a thing that some white people do to imagine a post-racial utopia (or even dystopia, in this case) where racial descriptions and ethnic divides have fallen by the wayside. It’s sort of horrifying, but The Hunger Games to me almost presents a scenario in which the spirit of it might be read to suggest that ethnic identity no longer really exists having been supplanted by District identity. In District 12, there are those who live in the Seam and those who are a part of the “small merchant class.” There are physical descriptions but never identifying words that we recognize. (Collins, as a note, played with this a lot; there was actually a glaring inconsistency where Katniss didn’t know what a monkey was called in one of the later books when she did in the first one, or something.)

Collins, in her public statements around the time she was having an influence on the direction and shape of the films-of-her-books, seemed to suggest that the people who lived in the Seam were the result of racial mixing of some form or another. She also seemed to suggest that they would not be identifiable by any term that we currently have. The Seam residents were imagined as the ultimate, isolated conclusion to a “melting pot” in which varied ethnic identification washed away which is one of the very specific reasons that I originally identified Katniss as a Melungeon in my personal reading. However, to Collins, it seems as if she imagines these post-ethnic people as something mythical and futuristic, like a future evolution of human beings or a fantasy creature like an elf (or a purple dragon!). Collins’s personal responses always read, to me, as being completely oblivious to the very idea that she had extrapolated that maybe someone like Katniss actually did exist in the very area which District 12 was supposedly based on to this very day and that this was not a once-and-future kind of reality that no longer existed in present-day America.

Tl;dr I really like The Hunger Games, and I hope I’m not stepping way out of my lane to talk about this as a white reader. However, I wanted to talk again after all this time about how yes, the movies erase a lot of the things that make the books meaningful (political and social implications, representation of diversity and disability and so on), but suggesting that the books innately present something a lot better and richer has a little to do with Collins. On the other hand, I suggest that there is a little bit of death of the author involved in your wonderful readings of this text because Collins herself seems to have directly refuted some of the nice things you might have to say about authorial intent in terms of diversity and representation.

#the hunger games #thg #representation #conventional blogging tag #long post #anti suzanne collins #just in case #racism

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oakpodcast · 6 years

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Transmission 9 Transcript

HOLLY: If you're a new listener, make sure to start at the very beginning.

MUSIC: HOLLY'S THEME: "SOLITUDE" BY MUCIOJAD

INT. HOLLY'S MINIVAN

SOUND: OUTSIDE TRAFFIC, RAIN ON THE VAN, WINDSHIELD WIPERS

HOLLY: (A bit coolly). Hi. Happy Thanksgiving, wherever you are. (Sighs)

SOUND: A BABY COOS

HOLLY: Right, so... it's been a while. (Defensively) But I've been busy and tired and stressed and moving around a lot and doing laundry every three days!

SOUND: MUSIC FADES OUT

HOLLY: So, as you may have guessed, I have a baby now. A, a three-month-old.

HOLLY: I would have sent you a birth announcement, but... (angry pause.) Anyway, she was 5 pounds, 12 ounces. Seventeen and a half inches long, or so Cami tells me.

HOLLY: And yes, that is definitely on the small side. (Sighs) She was early but not premature—if she'd been really early, I would have gone to the hospital... (fumbling for words—maybe she should have gone to the hospital anyway?)

HOLLY: Anyway. She's bigger than that now, and she's doing pretty well, all things considered. The doctors say she's... okay.

HOLLY:

Health issues aside, I'm still not sure how much gender bullshit to force on her? I mean, how do we know for sure?

SOUND: BABY FUSSES

HOLLY: But for now, everyone wants to call Ivy "her" and give her pink things, and...

SOUND: FUSSING INTENSIFIES; LEIA MEOWS

HOLLY: Honestly, she's three months old! She, she doesn't care! We're going to go with the statistically most likely option and worry about it when the time comes.

HOLLY: (Doubting herself) That, that's fine, right? (Muttering) I don't know...

HOLLY: Ivy, or Margalit, or whatever name fits you best— if you're listening to this ten years in the future, I just want you to know: I don't care what your gender is, or if you even have one, and I never have. All I care about is that you root for the Senators.

SOUND: IVY FUSSES MORE

HOLLY: Thank you so much Lisa and all my new $1 Patreon supporters. I knew having a baby would be expensive, but...

SOUND: PHONE VIBRATES ONCE FOR A TEXT MESSAGE; HOLLY TRIES TO IGNORE IT

HOLLY: Diapers alone? Holy shit. And then you stock up, right? Because the last thing you want is to run out at 3am again when your child has poop up her back and down into her socks somehow, and then a week later your child has finally grown out of the preemie size and into the newborn, and you have to donate all those diapers, because you don't have a receipt, and Target will not take them back.

HOLLY: And then, you're just so tired and worn out, you don't care if you're spending all your money on frivolous shit. For instance, seven different pacifiers, on the off chance that maybe, just maybe, you can get more than forty-five minutes of sleep at one time. Or a portable rocker that goes through four D batteries every other day just so you can take a shower in peace. Or "Advanced Care Plus Nipple Balm," because—I don't even want to talk about it.

SOUND: IVY STARTS NURSING

HOLLY: I can't even think about the doctor costs, even just so far. If Ivy's dad wasn't paying for it, I, I really don't know what we would do.

SOUND: RAIN PATTERS ON THE VAN ROOF

HOLLY: In other demoralizing news, my podcast has been getting spammed with some random one-star reviews on iTunes lately. Sometimes they get taken down, sometimes they stay up.

HOLLY: I don't even know what I'm doing with this podcast after this episode. But if you like listening, uh, it would mean a lot (Ivy coughs) if you could rate and review wherever you listen to podcasts.

HOLLY: Also, a few people asked me if I would make merchandise? So while I was bored at the laundromat, I made some designs and I put them up on CafePress and Zazzle. I've got to warn you—I'm not an artist. I'm pretty sure I'm the opposite of an artist. But hey, you can get a giant mug or a hoodie or whatever makes your life happier, and I'll use the profits to buy Leia a cheeseburger, so...

LEIA: (Hearing the word "cheeseburger") Meow?!

HOLLY: Everyone wins!

LEIA:

MEOW!!!!

HOLLY: I put the links, on my website, oakpodcast.com, under the "merch" tab at the top. If I remember, I'll put them in the description of this episode but don't count on that—I'm really sleep-deprived.

HOLLY: Did I mention that the mugs on Zazzle are color-changing?

SOUND: IVY LOSES HER LATCH AND GRUMBLES LOUDLY; HOLLY HELPS HER REATTACH

HOLLY: (Sighs) I miss you, Mica. I don't have anyone to bitch about Thanksgiving with this year.

SOUND: IVY CRIES BRIEFLY

HOLLY: (Softly) Where the fuck are you?

HOLLY: I don't know where you were, but you seriously missed out by flaking on Ivy's birth. I get that having a baby in an empty AirBnB bath tub doesn't sound magical, but it was! It was lunch time, but everything went dark right as I was pushing her out, and Leia panicked and ran to the window and started meowing, and...

HOLLY: It was just the eclipse, obviously, but at the time, it was more like, "Well, fuck, I just gave birth to the harbinger of the apocalypse."

HOLLY: (Scoffs, smiling at Ivy) She's pretty cute for a harbinger of doom, though. I know I'm biased, but I'd be more inclined to say she's the, the 'savior of mankind', or something.

HOLLY: I've been going to synagogue again. I mean, when I'm in a town that has one, which is less often than you would hope. But still, I've been going.

SOUND: IVY YELLS

HOLLY: (Defensively) Not because I think I need divine intervention to take care of a baby. I don't! I'm doing just fine. ...Anyway, that's not why I'm going to synagogue.

SOUND: A LARGE TRUCK PASSES THROUGH THE RAINY STREET

HOLLY: It feels like the early days of something awful, and I don't want to be alone. You know, that bullshit in Charlottesville started on a Friday, like, a week before Ivy was born, and I was already tuned into an online service the next day, before shit even properly hit the fan.

HOLLY: I don't know if I believe there's a God. Luckily, that's not really a requirement most places. But I do know there's a community out there, and I—

SOUND: HOLLY'S PHONE VIBRATES WITH ANOTHER TEXT, WHICH SHE ALSO IGNORES.

HOLLY: Since you left the group chat, and Cami and Ev have to be radio silent so much of the day... I've been a little lonely, I guess. I don't really keep in touch with them that much since Cami went back home. I'm not the best at keeping in touch anyway, but it's still hard.

HOLLY: The last thing I want is my parents taking care of me. We both know they would just bribe a judge to declare me incompetent and give them custody of Ivy. But I need some kind of emotional support to get through everything. Especially since you've fucked off to... wherever you are.

SOUND: HOLLY'S PHONE VIBRATES WITH ANOTHER TEXT

HOLLY: Tom wants me living near him, in D.C. He thinks I'd be safer, and that 'a place of my own would be better for my mental health.' He's right on the last one, but I'm okay in the van, and we're much safer on the road.

HOLLY: Whatever you did to piss off [BEEP], they are not happy about it, and they seem to be under the impression that I can tell them where you are, so I try not to sit still too long these days.

HOLLY: I don't know if this was your goal, but all those terrible things you said about my potential parenting abilities? They just makes me more determined.

HOLLY: When it's five a.m., and Ivy wakes up screaming, and I can't drink coffee because it tanks my milk supply, and I know if I can't make enough milk she'll end up in the hospital with a feeding tube, I just grit my teeth and put in my earbuds and think "Nope, not proving Mica right today!"

HOLLY: If someone had told me a year ago that I would be able to take care of a baby by myself... not just any baby, but a, a sick baby, who can't drink from a bottle, and can't hold her head up even at three months, and that I would be doing this while living in a van, on the run, technically homeless, trying to stay one step ahead of— well, I wouldn't have believed them.

HOLLY: And I don't think I'm just keeping her alive, I mean, I like to think I'm doing more than that.

HOLLY: I really don't know enough about babies to be able to tell, but Tom and Cami would know, and they say I'm doing a good job.

HOLLY: I try to hack the process whenever I can. You wouldn't believe how many baby-tracking apps there are, let alone how many I have on my phone right now.

HOLLY: Babies still don't make sense to me. Ivy doesn't make sense to me most days! The book said I would be able to tell which cry means she's hungry and which cry means she's wet and and which one meant she has colic, but I'm still figuring that out.

HOLLY: Fortunately, there are only so many things that are generally wrong with a baby! I don't have to try to fix her existential crises yet... I know that will come later, I mean, probably. But given that we can't really communicate, I don't have to fix them yet.

HOLLY: It turns out, sometimes sick babies just scream for hours for NO REASON. You're not doing anything wrong, you're not killing them, they're not dying, they just. Want. To cry. And... who doesn't, sometimes?

HOLLY: When that happens, all you can really do is find the nearest Walmart parking lot and lie in the back of your van blaring music in your headphones and patting her back.

HOLLY: Sometimes you just can't fix whatever's wrong.

HOLLY: I would if I could, though! I would do anything for her. I would die for her! But more than that, I would live for her.

HOLLY: I actually take care of myself now, and I don't seriously think about suicide anymore.

HOLLY: I know I'm not the best parent, but I don't think anyone could possibly ever love her more than I do, or try harder than I do.

HOLLY: Seriously, can parenting be a special interest? Because I think it is for me.

SOUND: IVY FUSSES AGAIN

HOLLY: (Quietly) I told you I could do this alone if I had to. And I haven't changed my mind about that, I, I think I'm doing okay. But I... really thought you meant it when you said you wanted to do it with me.

HOLLY: Everyone keeps telling me that you took our money and ran. And I do know that, on some level. Tom showed me the footage of you clearing out our bank accounts.

HOLLY: He says you must have planned this for a while, and, frankly, I don't see how he's wrong about that.

HOLLY: But I have so much trouble wrapping my head around it. We, we don't lie to each other! Or, I thought we didn't.

HOLLY: But all that stuff about Thai food and catching up on TV shows and going to Lamaze classes together in Denmark—none of that was real?!

HOLLY: I think you must have had some other plan, some plan that didn't work out. You had some kind of plan, and I like to think it involved me and Ivy.

SOUND: FIRE TRUCK APPROACHES WITH SIRENS ON. IVY STARTS SHRIEKING.

LEIA: (In distress that the large kitten is upset) Meow! Meow! Meow!

SOUND: THE FIRE TRUCK PASSES, AND IVY AND LEIA CALM DOWN

HOLLY: I know I'm not the best at reading people but... I always thought you were the exception.

HOLLY: I can't accept that you were conning me for months if not years, because that throws everything I thought I knew out the window. And that's why I prefer to believe that you had good intentions, but something went horribly wrong.

HOLLY: But Mica, I need you to understand something. You have fucked up my life in some pretty extraordinary ways— especially this past year, but not just then.

HOLLY: I look back at every decision I've ever made, and you were there, pushing me toward the worst possible option.

HOLLY: Seriously! If you think about it—that night I almost killed Yule Team? I wasn't the one whining that I hated getting high alone.

SOUND: HOLLY'S PHONE VIBRATES, STARTLING IVY

HOLLY: I didn't want to get high before the holiday party. I didn't want to drink an entire bottle of wine at the holiday party. I mean, granted, my parents being there did make me more... susceptible to the idea, but...

HOLLY: Even if it had been my idea to get drunk and high, I definitely didn't want to spend the night (PHONE VIBRATES) at my commanding officer's house! Whether or not you knew we were exes, I— w-whyyy would I want to do that? Do you ever think anything through?! God!

SOUND: PHONE VIBRATES WITH ANOTHER TEXT MESSAGE

HOLLY: And why, exactly, did I have to go on the run, instead of being protected by the military? Why did I have to sleep in abandoned buildings and do all the things I did when I was eight months pregnant?!

SOUND: IVY SCREAMS

HOLLY: At every SINGLE turn, you've done the exact opposite of whatever I told you I wanted.

LEIA: Meow! Meowww!

SOUND: HOLLY'S PHONE VIBRATES NONSTOP

HOLLY: And now you've fucked me over so thoroughly—(sputtering angrily over Ivy's shrieks, Leia's Meows) and Ivy! (Higher pitched) I can't even afford to take Ivy to the doctor!

SOUND: SCREAMING, MEOWING, VIBRATING

HOLLY: You're not even in our lives and you're still fucking us over! Goddammit—

SOUND: IVY IS SOOTHED; MEOWING CONTINUES WHILE HOLLY'S PHONE STOPS VIBRATING

HOLLY: (Still tense, but shifting gears quickly) Hey, uh can I call you back in... ten minutes?

SOUND: LONG SILENCE; A CONCERNED MEOW

HOLLY: No, sorry. I'm okay. I was just really lonely.

SOUND: A PAUSE; IVY STARTS CRYING AGAIN

HOLLY: No! Jesus. No, I just wanted to talk to someone other than Ivy and Leia. I'm fine.

SOUND: IVY SCREAMS, LEIA MEOWS

HOLLY: (More firmly) No, we're both fine. Are we still on for tomorrow at five?

SOUND: MEDIUM PAUSE; A LARGE TRUCK PASSES

HOLLY: Right, and then the Black Friday lines are always insane, so they'll probably gone a few hours. Yeah, just call me when they leave. Ivy and Leia almost always wake me up around four, so I should be awake.

SOUND: MEDIUM PAUSE; IVY WAILS

HOLLY: No, no. Go be with your family. We're fine.

SOUND: CRYING AND MEOWING

HOLLY: Right, I'll see tomorrow... You too. Bye.

SOUND: IVY POOPS LOUDLY—APPARENTLY THIS CRY MEANS HER TUMMY IS HURTING.

HOLLY: Great. All right, hold that thought...

SOUND: CLICK, THEN TOTAL SILENCE AS HOLLY PAUSES THE RECORDER TO CHANGE A DIAPER

HOLLY: He's been really good to us, you know? I really don't think we would have made it without him.

HOLLY: He actually brought me my DD-214, right after Ivy was born. (Snorts) I guess they were in a hurry to get rid of me.

SOUND: IVY MAKES RANDOM BABY NOISES

HOLLY: It was an OTH, in case you were wondering. I know I could appeal to get it upgraded to general, and given who my parents are, and the good work I've done for the past ten years, I think I'd have a good chance...

HOLLY: But no one gives a fuck! I, they make it sound like it's the end of the world if you don't get an honorable discharge, but really, no one outside the military cares. I mean... I wouldn't go to the VA hospital if my life depended on it, and I doubt the programming jobs I'm looking at will care.

SOUND: IVY NURSES LOUDLY AND NOT VERY COMPETENTLY

HOLLY: They didn't demote Tom, but they did make him retire. I mean, I'm not actually sure on the details. It's possible people were just so awful to him he decided it would be better to retire. Either way...

HOLLY: He's had some good interviews—at least, he tells me he's had some good interviews, and he's really not wrong about the money in the private sector, it's... way better. But I know that if he really cared about the money, he could have switched to the private sector decades ago.

HOLLY: Everything is so wrecked, I don't even know where to start fixing it. I've lost my home, my career, my savings, my best friend, every earthly possession I've ever owned... and just for good measure, we destroyed the marriage, career, and reputation of my daughter's father.

HOLLY: So, great! Now Ivy is not only sick and uninsured, but the only person supporting us is puling from his savings just to buy diapers!

HOLLY: I'm not saying Tom and I are blameless, or that things were perfect, or that I'm not irrationally upset about some things I have no right to be upset about because... it doesn't matter!

HOLLY: But what happened at the holiday party should have stayed between the two of us. If you had just left things alone when I asked you to, things would be so much better!

HOLLY: I really wish I'd stood up to you. For whatever I feel about Tom, at least I can believe him when he says he was just confused. Because unlike you, he has a track record of actually listening to me and respecting what I tell him I want.

HOLLY: And also unlike you, he's actually been there for us. He's spent so much time and money helping us—time and money I know he doesn't have.

SOUND: IVY CHOKES ON MILK AND STARTS CRYING

LEIA: Meow? Meow! Meow!!!

SOUND: IVY SETTLES DOWN AND RESUMES NURSING

HOLLY: You've always gotten yourself into all kinds of shit, and until this year, I didn't care that you pulled me along with you. But now I have Ivy, and if you bring your shitshow anywhere close to her, I will end you.

HOLLY: I did a lot of thinking and praying and researching during the High Holy Days. And the rabbis I talked to all said the same thing—I'm only obligated to forgive anyone making an actual effort to make amends and fix things between us.

HOLLY: Ivy was really sick around then, like scary sick, and Tom—I don't know what he told his family, but he came out here for almost two weeks, cooking, and cleaning, and changing diapers, paying for doctor's visits— even going to synagogue with me and taking Ivy out when she cried so I could stay. And that whole time, you were... well.

HOLLY: I don't know if you're in over your head with [BEEP], or if you just got cold feet about helping me raise Ivy and extreme ghosted me.

HOLLY: But whatever you left us for was obviously more important. And I won't lie, that hurts, a lot. But I understand! A lot of things in the world are more important than me. That's how the world is.

HOLLY: But that means that a lot of things in the world are more important than you, too. And the most important thing in my world is Ivy. And I will NOT stand for anyone stealing from her and putting her in danger, Jesus!

MUSIC: OUTRO, "SOLITUDE" BY MUCIOJAD

HOLLY: And that's why this will be my last message to you. You made your choice, and I don't have anything else to say to you.

HOLLY: I don't think I'll ever stop loving you. But for all of our sakes, I really hope I never see you again.

HOLLY: I'd say leave us alone, but that doesn't seem to be a problem for you.

HOLLY: So... have a nice life, Mica.

SOUND: MUSIC AND RAINY AMBIENCE FADE OUT

#transcript #transcripts #oakpodcast

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