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#he loved a-yao more than everything he would probably still choose to Suffer for the clan's sake. especially if he could spare
leatherbookmark · 1 year
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sits. i wonder in what ways would things change if gusu lan were slaughtered instead of yunmeng jiang, with lxc and lwj the only ones remaining
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garnetcoloredsky · 1 year
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XiSang Twitter Thread that Twitter Broke and So It’s Tumblr’s Problem Now
really any combo of 3zunSang works for me tbh, but I’ve recently enjoyed the thought of everything being canon ……until NHS decides he’s going to take LXC away from A-Yao too, just because he can.
he’s grieving, er-ge 🥲 and Da-ge would’ve wanted you to take care of him…
I swear I do like A-Yao but also I just want him to have to suffer ☺️ because he’s made his choice. No Lan Furen for him. And it’s not like NHS is doing it on purpose, right?
And the last thing he sees at Guanyin Temple is LXC finally letting him go, like the monster he is. ☺️
I mean, it’s fine. Probably makes it easier for Da-ge to forgive him in the coffin, tbh.
“Crafty little fucker, isn’t he?” Da-ge says, more than a little smug. He has mixed feelings on the subject of his didi’s actions but still, being impressed is a major one.
Anyway I believe LXC’s seclusion still happens and at first NHS thinks he’s won, what does he care about er-ge? he deserves to suffer a bit.
but then he feels bad? his childhood affection for the man died with Da-ge but not all of it. This game to steal LXC wasn’t all pretend…
Somehow he manages to steal LXC out from under Wangji’s nose (who does NOT approve!! evil man doesn’t deserve!!!) and take him back to Qinghe.
Slowly, it does help, actually. Nobody looks at Xichen like they pity him. The Nie don’t treat him as anything more than a man. One to be respected, yes, but not like he’s made of glass.
And with nothing more to hide, NHS starts to outwardly be the sect leader that he has been all along. He’s fair and just, kind, wise. LXC sits in on his councils and is mildly blown away by how capable he really is 0-0
it’s kinda hot, ngl.
the Lan do need Xichen back eventually, or at least for him to pass the mantle of SL onto Wangji. and Xichen knows what he’s expected to do. he’s always done what was expected, even if it kept him apart from Da-ge and A-Yao. he’s never been selfish.
And NHS, self-declared king of bratty behavior (though that time has mostly passed), asks him to stay. No wheedling, no tears, no tricks.
They do, I think, have to fight about it a bit. NHS did pursue Xichen just for the sake of torturing A-Yao, to be fair. But that was just how it started. And really, did Xichen not want someone to choose him, damn all responsibility?
Hell, NHS would give up his position, if he asked. He never wanted it anyway. That wasn’t something Da-ge and A-Yao would offer. They loved him, but…life got in the way
And LXC realizes that maybe he does want to be selfish. That he exists to be more than the perfect son, the First Jade. That he can just be Lan Huan, and position doesn’t have control over his happiness anymore.
Love is tentative between them.
LXC exhales for the first time in his life. Books and sweets appear on his bedside table as if by magic. He writes music, and poetry, and leaves those pages on Huaisang’s desk.
They laugh together, for the first time in more than a decade. They cry over memories. Happiness sneaks up on them through the clouds of grief. It’s not the life either of them envisioned.
But if this was a world in which they could wait for the return of those lost, I think they would. And they wouldn’t be alone.
…….this was not as fucky as I intended it to be but that’s because I like all parties involved. also LXC deserves therapy. they all do, really.
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vvienne · 3 years
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XICHENG FIC RECS
hold my hands by Snooze (Chiruka)
Transplanting a core into a new person isn’t without repercussions. One year after the events at Guanyin Temple, Jiang Cheng found himself once again faced with the possibility of losing everything he had. Reconciling with his brother, learning to let Jin Ling go, and dealing with his blooming emotions toward the First Jade of Gusu — will Jiang Cheng accomplish what he wants before time runs out?
it all passes someday by screamlet
A week before the anniversary of Wei Wuxian’s death, there was a commotion outside Lan Wangji’s house.
*
Jiang Cheng and Lan Wangji over the years.
The Unlikely Expression of Love by manamune
When everything has settled, when everyone else has moved on with their lives and their friends, Jiang Cheng has a realization which shouldn’t actually be a surprise:
He’s lonely.
Indigo, lavender, and violet (I don't wanna be red) by ohwhatevrewhatevr
It, in the pale colors of the late morning, is the closest to perfect Jiang Cheng will ever reach. He strokes Lan XiChen's hair and presses a light kiss to where his ribbon and hair meet. The sky is a pale blue, and the pastels of flowers and clouds are spread out through the window, a brilliant world waiting for them, them in the gentian house, safe from stronger breezes - there is the clutter of birds fluttering and chirping outside. It is a warm, perfect, spring morning.
Jiang Cheng and Lan XiChen have been together for an year. In which, no one ever really gets over things, Jiang Cheng has the misfortune of interacting with his brother, the juniors help out with the proposal, and there's a marriage.
Altitude by starknjarvis 
When Jin Ling lures Jiang Cheng to the Cloud Recesses under false pretenses, he finds himself out of place among this new family Wei Wuxian has formed.
Lan Xichen, at least, seems pleased to have his company.
Perhaps there is still a chance for Jiang Cheng to make amends and move forward.
[Modao Zushi Online] GLITCH REPORT: My Brother Got Chased Down And %$@*$&@ By Gusu Dungeon Boss??? by oh_fudgecakes
Modao Zushi Online is a virtual reality MMORPG. Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian are top ranking players in its new server, currently tied with their arch-nemesis from their previous server, Wen Chao. In an attempt to defeat him, they take on the Gusu Dungeon Boss, Zewu-jun, to win the reward of a legendary weapon. Ever the cheat, Wei Wuxian tries to take advantage of a glitch to defeat the seemingly undefeatable boss. It backfires. Jiang Cheng gets fucked by a boss monster.
He can't get enough.
Meanwhile, Lan Xichen, the unwitting staff member in charge of controlling Zewu-jun, absolutely did not sign up to be pulled into a secret virtual reality fling with a player. Mod Ji, who has to deal with Wei Wuxian's incessant glitch reporting of his brother's sex life, is long-suffering.
Mulberry by xxdz
Jiang Cheng grits his teeth and pushes harder. He feels like torn silk, the embroidery needle sinking in again and again and again; patiently, desperately, endlessly trying to make something beautiful out of something broken.
Jiang Cheng builds his sect, learns embroidery, and raises his nephew.
we can raise a little family by lanyon
“Well, brother,” says Wei Wuxian, leaning against the outside of Jiang Cheng’s chambers. “I had heard that you and Xichen went on a night hunt and came back with a baby, which is not the order I’d choose to do things in…”
In which Jiang Cheng and Lan Xichen acquire a baby of unknown origin, and are the very last to know what it means.
Beyond the Impossible by Silverine
Summoned by Lan Qiren, Jiang Wanyin goes to the Cloud Recesses to drop his nephew Jin Ling, expecting to discuss relevant matters with his old master. Instead, he's asked to take with him no other than Sect Leader Lan himself, all the way back to Lotus Pier. If the reason why he accepted such an outrageous task is indeed a mystery, he's about to be surprised by how this entire trip, their encounters, and his warm company, suddenly feel fated.
Incrementally by xxdz
Jiang Cheng is trapped in a day on repeat where he begins by waking in Zewu Jun’s bed at dawn and ends by dying painfully at dusk.
It’s getting very irritating, and he has the sneaking suspicion that his chances to solve his own murder are rapidly running out. Soon, his death will be much more permanent.
All in all, worst birthday ever.
Audience of One by WinterDreams
“Then let an established star go first,” Lan Xichen interrupts again before Lan Wangji can give a stubborn reply. Both men twist toward Lan Xichen, and he smiles at Wei Wuxian’s tilted head. “If I publicly date a man for awhile first, your engagement shouldn’t receive as much backlash.”
Or, that AU where everyone is famous in some way or another, Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji have been dating in private for years, and Lan Xichen and Jiang Cheng pretend to date publicly for their brothers' sake.
A Bit of Ruthlessness by jirluvien
When Jiang Cheng hears that Lan Xichen went into seclusion following Jin Guangyao’s death, it’s almost as if he can see the grabby hands of a restless ghost, reaching out for something to keep him company. For something warm and living and devastated. And as history has proved time and time again, the Lans are perfect victims when it comes to giving in to ghosts.Yeah, no. Not on Jiang Cheng’s fucking watch.A story about grief, determination, unexpected friendships, abandoned watchtowers, and letters. So many letters.
All Tied Up In You by Clearpearls
Yet again, the night had come to this:
Jiang Cheng on the floor, kneeling, Zidian wrapped around his wrists.
Alone.
Thank You, and I'm Sorry by Hamliet
Jin GuangYao might be dead, but his story is not. Taking advantage of the chaos he instigated, someone makes an attempt on the life of the young new leader of the Jin Sect. When Jiang Cheng takes Jin Ling to the Cloud Recesses to have him study while he attempts to work with Wei WuXian and his husband Lan WangJi to eliminate the threat, he encounters a mourning Lan XiChen, lovestruck teenagers, and a persistent corpse--and both pairs of brothers find themselves struggling to move on.
saturn's rings (don't be a heartbreaker) by iskendaris
Set after the seige of burial mounds, Yunmeng rebuilds as they hold the first Discussion Conference at Lotus Pier. Sometimes the night is a gift, a refuge for loneliness. "So stern, Sect Leader Jiang," Lan Xichen murmured, "So glacial... What will it take to melt that icy exterior? What can I say?"
"Nothing. There's nothing you can say or offer."
reciprocity by jukeboxhound
There’s a pause before Lan Xichen says, in a tone that’s a little more neutral, “I would like to paint on you.”
“…What?”
“Of course, if you say ‘yes’ but then change your mind at any point, for any reason, you need only say so and I will stop immediately,” he adds.
Well, silver lining: Jiang Cheng is feeling much more awake than he was a moment ago.
Talent Hunt Crew Finds Angry Guy Shouting On College Campus, Recruits Him For Vocal Projection Abilities by oh_fudgecakes
Jiang Cheng, resident Angry Guy and heir to a conglomerate empire, has never been the apple of his father’s eye. Quashed under the shadow of his brilliant brother, the music prodigy Wei Wuxian, Jiang Cheng sees his chance to turn things around when he is recruited by the All-Stars Lan Talent Hunt. One problem: he can’t sing to save his goddamn life.
As he struggles to develop his nascent singing abilities, Jiang Cheng finds himself sucked into the whirlwind drama of reality TV, helped along by his adoring siblings, his irritable vocal coach Wen Qing, and strangely enough, the unfairly attractive host of the All-Stars Lan Talent Hunt, Lan Xichen. Somewhere in the glare of the stage lights and an unexpected first love, Jiang Cheng stumbles upon the thing he was searching for all along: the courage to dream — and to attempt the impossible.
Marginal Costs by ohwhatevrewhatevr
“You think you know what you want, Er-Ge,” A-Yao says. “But you should consider what you’re willing to give first,” he says wryly, taking Lan XiChen’s chess piece with slim, skilled fingers.
Lan XiChen looks up at A-Yao’s concentrated expression and the hint of contentment on his face that he is special enough to be allowed to see.
“It’s not just one decision, but the lead up to many more. One decision decides what else you’re going to have to pay, and each time you have to ask yourself, ignoring the sunk costs, if this time it’s worth it as well.”
When his sworn brother looks up at him with those clear, amber eyes, waiting, Lan XiChen feels the pull and gives in: he asks.
“Are you happy being in love?”
(First half is two sad sworn brothers talking, internally mourning how unfortunate their other sworn brother’s death was :/ and second half is when a mopey boy in blue meets an angsty boy in purple whilst chasing a demonic cultivator, and a lil bit of sexy dual cultivation happens.)
Somewhat Tender by theherocomplex
There is no defense against kindness; it has always undone him.
I didn't expect you to be lonely (too) by bettydice (BettyKnight)
Jiang Cheng's life is a mess, he's a mess, and he doesn't miss his brother at all. So when his sister gifts him ten sessions with a massage therapist, who turns out to be someone he was crushing on for a hot minute as a teenager and is still as hot as ever... yeah, that might as well happen. It won't have to mean anything.
This feels intimate to Jiang Cheng in a way that's probably very inappropriate and maybe even pathetic. Nobody touches him like this, right where he’s hurt the most. There's no one who handles him so gently, so carefully.
It's the gentleness that's his undoing, he thinks. He would be able to deal better with it if it was painful.
Life for Rent by yodasyoyo
“Yeah well. You’re not taking me seriously. This guy is my soulmate!”
“Soulmate.” Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes. “Whatever.”
“Just because you don’t believe in them—”
“I believe in them!” Jiang Cheng says. “I’ve never denied they exist.”
“Just last week you said that it was an evolutionary quirk that had been used by greetings card companies, movie makers, and corporations to exploit lonely and vulnerable people.”
“And I stand by it! That doesn’t mean that soulmates aren’t real. Just incredibly unlikely and probably pointless.
-
Or:
Xicheng vs Soulmates. Fight!
Halfway Around the World by theherocomplex
Normally, Jiang Cheng would be seething, jaw clenched tight, if someone sounded like that while they were talking, but — Lan Xichen has the trick of always making you feel like you're in on the joke, whatever the joke is. That you're laughing together.
Whelmed by yodasyoyo
For months now Jiang Cheng’s been idly fantasizing about how it would be if something were to come between Wei Ying and Lan Zhan. Mostly those daydreams have been simple enough — they break up (probably because Lan Zhan is boring or Wei Ying is annoying), Wei Ying is sad for a couple of days (Jiang Cheng’s willing to allow some space for feelings, he isn't a total monster), but then Wei Ying realizes he’s better off, he gets over it, and Jiang Cheng gets his brother back.
Unfortunately the fantasy version of events has only proven partially true, so far. They've broken up. Wei Ying has been sad.
Now weeks have passed, though — and Wei Ying is still sad, every. Single. Day.
It’s like Jiang Cheng's stuck in a looping GIF, and it’s driving him insane.
Or:
Jiang Cheng plots, Lan Huan pines, and, unfortunately for Lan Qiren, Wangxian are inevitable.
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immacaria · 3 years
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Box of Memories
Happy belated birthday, A-Sang! Wish you all the joy and love life has reserved for you!
Almost three weeks after the actual birthday I've finally finished this thanks to my dear school (grinds teeth angrily). Anyway, this is a bit short, like almost 4k or something, and I took this insanely amount of time because of school, but it's alright I finished it now. So I hope you guys enjoy this and I can make your day a little brighter with it. As always, stay safe and healthy!
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It was Nie Huaisang’s birthday and Jiang Cheng was more anxious than when he had to survive Nie Mingjue, Lan Xichen and Meng Yao’s shove talk one after the other. For the heavens and all above, they had been dating for four years now and met each since they were five and six! There was no reason for him to be so nervous! They passed so many birthdays, with so many presents exchanged and Jiang Cheng was still nervous. And just because he made the present with his own hands and it turned out horrible!
Like not the ‘you can’t even look at’ type of horrible, but the ‘didn’t meet my expectations exactly what immediately makes it horrible’ type of horrible. He started doing it exactly two days later after Nie Huaisang said he wanted it and guaranteed that nobody would buy it for him, exactly nine months and eight days before his birthday. He had seen it on Pinterest, in a video where a girl was making a “box of memories” (as Jiang Cheng came to call it) for her younger sister.
She had chosen their favourite memory and made something like a box of shadows to show it. There was a light bulb in the middle with various metal plates cut in the shape of the memories. When turned on, the metal plates started to revolve around the light bulb and create images on the wall, recreating the memory with the shadows. Nie Huaisang loved it and showed it to every person who he knew could give one for him or make one. Thankfully, none of them could give it right away which gave Jiang Cheng enough time to plan how he would do it.
It all began with him asking what memory he would use of all his favorites and asked what happened there, memorizing them to the heart and writing everything down the second he saw himself alone. His drawing skills weren’t as good as Nie Huaisang and Lan Xichen’s, but as long as they remained a sketch, they would do. After sketching it all, he went to Nie Mingjue and asked him to teach him how to cut the metal plates and arrange them properly in the other metal pieces. Apparently, there was a machine that did that for them, the only thing they needed to do was insert the images and the sizes of the plates and let it do what it needed to do. Which led Jiang Cheng to ask for some draw lessons from Lan Xichen and digital design from Lan Wangji, which cost several years of his life but he guessed he was bound to do everything needed for his boyfriend.
He planned everything on the little planner he bought (if it was specifically brought for that no one needed to know) and every day he ticked something off. Besides the box of memories, he wrote a letter everyday to him and hid it in the last drawer of his wardrobe under piles and piles of clothes. From Open it now to Open it when you are sixty years old and Open it when you are in doubt about us, everyday a letter for 281 days and too much ink, paper and ideas, too much feelings engraved in those. But should he regret it, knowing that it would make Nie Huaisang happy? The boy loved this kind of old, romantic things like handwritten letters, so why shouldn’t he give it to him too? Handwritten letters with little doodles on the edges of the paper and little trinkets.
At the beginning of May, Jiang Cheng started putting it all together, doing the last reviews and adjustments. Once the plates were done, he called Wei Wuxian to help with the electric part of the thing, the shameless idiot being graduated in electrical engineering somehow. He had to endure his little ramble about how he had become so romantic and how considerate of somebody else’s feelings, how he was going miles out of what everyone said was normal. It would be a lie if Jiang Cheng ever said that he wasn’t slightly proud and happy upon hearing that.
They made slow progress but the present was ready six days before the due date, which gave Jiang Cheng enough anxiety and stress for the rest of his life (good thing he took on his mother’s side of genetics and wasn’t getting any white hairs until a very, very old age). Would Nie Huaisang find out the present before his birthday? Would he hate it or love it? Would he simply be neutral about all the gifts? Would he fake liking it? What could possibly happen once he gives it to him? Would it destroy their relationship?
On March 20, Jiang Cheng was about to have a stroke or an aneurysm or both of them probably. Just some more hours and they would see if Nie Huaisang liked the present or not. Since it had been ready, the poor present had been tested countless times to see if it worked properly (it did, thank gods), changed locations incessantly while he wrote every single letter by hand before making a wooden box and putting all he had made in there. The memory box, the 281 letters and some fans he bought in the Yunmeng market that reminded him of Nie Huaisang.
Early on, he had promised Nie Huaisang that he would help him with the birthday’s decorations and preparations for everything . After that, he made a quick run to his house to take a bath and try to calm himself because he couldn’t throw up in the party, he even got time to test it again, watching as Nie Huaisang’s favourite memory of all time played on his bedroom wall. It was practically memorized by now, the way the images followed one by one in quick succession, recreating a story that he could tell even if he had amnesia.
Nie Huaisang, Nie Mingjue and their parents were the main characters in the memory. Nie Huaisang was maybe four or five years old while Nie Mingjue was something like sixteen or seventeen years old and they were travelling to the small cabin they passed the holidays. He always said that that weekend was the best one of his life, one where his entire family was together and happy, complete. This memory in particular was one where Nie Huaisang was being thrown in the air by his father to land in the arms of one of his mothers while Nie Mingjue and their second mother were suffering a heart attack. Even though there was some melancholy in his eyes, he always spoke fondly and laughed about the face his brother made when he landed on their mother’s arms and passed the rest of the weekend guaranteeing that their father wouldn’t do another one of those again.
Jiang Cheng would die as a happy man if he could make him as happy as he was on that day, even if for one day. Well, not die, he was still too young to die, but he would feel fulfilled and satisfied. So, he tried to focus on that when he stepped inside the party, clutching to the wooden box and breathing deep. He’s going to like it, he’s not going to hate me, he’s going to smile because of the present, everything is going to be fine, we are not breaking up. Okay, maybe he was a little bit paranoid and afraid of what was going to happen, but he was fine, he was going to be fine. He just needed to loosen up and enjoy the party until it was time to open the presents.
“A-Cheng!” Nie Huaisang said, throwing his arms around his neck and hiding his face in his neck. Jiang Cheng only had time to pull the box to the side to prevent him from getting hurt before putting an arm around his waist and kissing his temple. “Tell your brother to stop being mean to me on my birthday.”
“If Lan Wangji can’t control him, what makes you think I can?” He said, still holding him. “Happy birthday, Huaisang, many years of life and happiness for you.” He kissed his temple again before stepping away and showing him the present. “For you.”
“Oh, A-Cheng! You didn’t need to! You are already present enough.” He gasped, taking the box of his hands while Jiang Cheng rolled his eyes at him. He always said that but he remembered very well what he did to Jin Zixuan when the man showed up without his present. He didn’t want to be in the same ending of his fury, thank you very much.
“Yeah, yeah, whatever you say.” He rolled his eyes again, bending a little to let Nie Huaisang kiss his cheek.
“I don’t know what you gave me, but I already love it.” He smiled brightly at him, walking to the kitchen and carefully choosing a place to put it. The kitchen was loaded with presents, some big, others small, colorful wraps or black and white with an interesting pattern on it, some didn’t even had proper wraps around it. There were a lot of presents and for a moment Jiang Cheng’s brain simply went blank and decided that, for sure, there was one that topped his present. Which was nonsense, but still served to increase his stress and anxiety (once again he thanked his genetics for not getting white hairs early). “C’mon, let’s go to the living room. Da-ge is telling some story from when we were children.”
“Is he telling the green incident? Because if he is, I would rather stay in the kitchen.” And check if the other presents are better than mine so I can throw them out the window.
“Of course not! Da-ge doesn’t remember that story anymore.” He waved him off, entering the room in the exact moment Nie Mingjue said:
“Then a bucket of green paint fell into his head.” His thunderous laugh filled the room as he started to tell the amazing story of how Nie Huaisang managed to dye himself green after he dumped a whole bucket of paint on his head when he was seven years old.
“Da-ge!” He screamed, going red instantly. “What are you doing?!” He yelped, high-pitched, as he threw a cushion at him. “Shut up!”
“What? I was just talking about the green dye you did on your skin.” He laughed again, dodging the cushion and showing his tongue to him. It was strange to see a man of his size acting like that, but sincerely Jiang Cheng sometimes forgot that he too was human and (kind of) young. “Hey, Wanyin, do you want to sit here?”
“Hey, hey, hey. No stealing boyfriends on my birthday or ever, Da-ge. You already have two.” He wrapped himself around his arm, glaring at his brother. “Stop being so selfish, Da-ge.”
“Selfish? Take that back, brat, before I break your legs.” He narrowed his eyes at him, pointing a finger at him.
“It’s his birthday and you don’t get to threaten the birthday boy, Jue-ge.” Lan Xichen sighed, pulling his hand down. He was beside Nie Mingjue and sitting next to Lan Wangji, talking quietly between the two of them before the threats started rolling out.
“Stop covering him, Lan Xichen.” He turned to him as Nie Huaisang pulled him to the bench next to the window and between two high bookshelves full of sketchbooks, some completed, others completely blank.
“So, what’s your present?” He suddenly asked, playing with Jiang Cheng’s fingers.
“What? It’s a fucking surprise, A-Sang, I can’t tell you.” He spurred, furrowing his eyebrows at him.
“But, A-Cheng, yours were the heaviest of it all. What is it?” He shook his arm, doing the puppy eyes. The fucking puppy eyes.
“Don’t look at me like that. Stop, A-Sang.” He growled, avoiding looking at him. “You know I can’t take the puppy eyes.”
“A-Cheng~.” He laid ahead, searching for his eyes. And, heavens, who taught that boy that? Nie Mingjue for sure was not. Maybe Meng Yao. Yeah, definitely Meng Yao. Jiang Cheng was going to kill Meng Yao for teaching Nie Huaisang that. “Please~. I want to know.”
“Ok, ok, ok. Just one part, okay?” Jiang Cheng pushed him away, feeling the back of his neck heating up.
“From how many parts?” His eyes were shining and attentive which meant that he was probably making a million combinations on his head, comparing and guessing what he could possibly ever get him.
“I’m not going to tell you.” He scowled, taking a deep breath. “One part of your presents is fans, okay? I got you some fans.”
“Really?!” His eyebrows shot up, disappearing under his bangs. “I love fans.”
“I know, A-Sang.” He breathed out, kissing his fingers.
“But I love you more.” He smiled, leaning to kiss him lightly on the lips. “I love you so much more than the fans.” He murmured against them, hands on his neck.
“Idiot.” He chuckled, kissing him back while smiling. He always seemed to smile easily when he was near him, breath was easier too. Sincerely, Nie Huaisang just made things easier just by being near him, just his presence and, maybe, it was the reason why he wanted to do everything in his power to make him happy as he could be. “I love you too.”
“More than dogs and A-Ling?” He sat between his legs, back against his chest.
“Don’t push your luck.” He may love A-Sang, but dogs and his nephew were more important, they always brought instant happiness with them. Next to him, Nie Huaisang was chuckling quietly, pulling both of Jiang Cheng’s arms around his waist and putting his hands above before starting to talk with Meng Yao about some new exposition of them and all the technicalities involving it.
Jiang Cheng let himself fall back into the security of all the conversations around him that didn’t involve him and the warmth of Nie Huaisang on his arms and against his chest. Slowly his panic disappeared from his mind as the time passed and the presents weren’t mentioned not even once. Almost everyone was there, the only ones missing being Jin Zixuan, Jiang Yanli and their newborn Jin Ling, Jiang Cheng’s little sweetheart, who were overseas to look over the inauguration of Jiang Yanli’s new restaurant in Las Vegas (To say that Jiang Cheng was crazely proud of her would be an understatement).
Either way, no amount of time would be enough to prepare him for when Wei Wuxian and MianMian appeared in the kitchen bringing the cake and the tray of sweets. The candle was already lit up and displaying the number 23, as if nobody knew how old Nie Huaisang was. He dislocated his hands enough to clap but not remove his arm from around his waist. Nie Huaisang laughed, clapping according to the music, but sunken further on his chest, refusing to move another millimeter as his ears went adorably red.
“Happy birthday, Nie Huaisang!” Everyone screamed when the song ended, blowing confetti over them. The screams and whistles became a cacophony as Nie Huaisang blew out the candle and laughed out loud, putting both of his hands over his mouth.
“Happy birthday, Nie-xiong!” MianMian hugged him after Wen Qing, her girlfriend, took the cake from her. “Many, many years of happiness and fulfillment to you, my dear. Hope you enjoy mine and A-Qing’s present.” She winked, mischievously.
“What have you given me, MianMian?” Nie Huaisang said, eyes wide.
“Nothing you can open in front of Da-ge.” She laughed, absolutely delighted at his terrified face and Jiang Cheng’s groan. He had noticed that everyone had a tendency of calling Nie Mingjue ‘Da-ge’.
“No! You stole my idea!” Wei Wuxian complained, giving him a half-hug and equilibrating the tray of sweets on the other arm. “Many years of love and laughter, Nie-xiong, may time and life treat you well.” He fully hugged him once MianMian came back to take the tray away from him, calming Jiang Cheng’s anxiety.
“I want to see what those two gave you. No excuses.” Nie Mingjue said, serious, before crushing him in a tight hug. “Happy anniversary, didi. I’m very proud of you and what you have become. Ma, Baba and Mother would be so, so proud of you and happy for all the friends and people you have around you.” He may or may not have sniffed on that part, hiding his face on his brother’s neck.
“Thank you, Da-ge. They would be very proud of you too.” Nie Huaisang whispered back and Jiang Cheng saw him blink repeatedly to avoid the tears from falling out.
“He grew up so fast.” He mourned, resting his head on Lan Xichen’s shoulder while Meng Yao hugged and wished him a happy birthday and life. Once he was done and it was Lan Xichen’s turn, Nie Mingjue wrapped himself over him, sniffing loudly. After that, the other guests did a quick succession of ‘Happy Birthday’ and wishes for a good and long life. Not for a moment Nie Huaisang stepped away from Jiang Cheng, always at arm’s reach of his hands. Not that he had tried to pull him back when he stepped away, Jiang Cheng would never do that.
“So, A-Sang, now that all the wishes have been given and Wangji-ge and I have cut the cake. For whom is the first piece?” MianMian asked, holding a plate with a piece of cake to him.
“A-Cheng!” He quickly answered, turning to him. “For being the best boyfriend a man could ask. And not being too scared of Da-ge.”
“I’m not that scared of Mingjue-ge, but thank you, I guess.” Jiang Cheng said, taking the plate from his hands and completely refusing to look over where Nie Mingjue was.
“Woah, he didn’t even hesitate.” Wei Wuxian said, surprised. “I could swear he was going to give it to Da-ge.” That was it, Jiang Cheng was now certain that everyone, except for maybe Wen Qing, saw Nie Mingjue as an older brother. But, well, were they wrong?
“Da-ge has received many first pieces in his life. It’s A-Cheng’s time.” Nie Huaisang scrunched his nose at him before jogging to the kitchen. “C’mon people! Eat, eat! I want to open my presents!”
Jiang Cheng chuckled, starting to eat the cake as the others were doing a line to receive their own piece and, fucking hell, he understood why they wanted one. The cake was divine! It was fluffy and tasty, exploding in the mouth the moment you bite it and it wasn’t too sweet. It was possibly the best cake he ever had the pleasure to eat and by the look of the other’s face, they thought that too.
“Nie-xiong, who made the cake? I want their number.” Wei Wuxian said, pleasure written all over his face. “It’s so good!”
“Oh, it was Wangji and Da-ge.” Nie Huaisang said, pointing at them. Everyone turned their heads to them, looking in awe.
“Lan Zhan?! But he never did one of me.” Wei Wuxian complained, pouting.
“Mingjue-ge made the dough and I did the frosting and the decorations.” Lan Wangji passed a piece of cake to Wen Ning.
“And the sweets. He did the sweets too.” Nie Mingjue said, throwing one of the sweets in his mouth.
“Which are fucking marvellous!” MianMian exclaimed, doing a thumbs up for him.
“No speaking while eating.” He and Lan Xichen said in unison, without looking at her. After that everyone focused on eating the cake and the sweets. Nie Huaisang came back to sit beside Jiang Cheng, taking the sweets he didn’t like to his own plate. Most of them got a second piece and more sweets because those things were really fucking good.
“Now, the presents!” Nie Huaisang exclaimed, excited and sending Jiang Cheng’s heartbeat to space. “I’m excited.” He was jumping on his seat.
“Whose present will you open first?” Lan Xichen said, getting up and going to the kitchen.
“A-Cheng’s.” He smiled as he started to bring the presents from the kitchen. Jiang Cheng prayed that his panic weren’t showing on his face nor his anxiety because his mind was running a mile per hour.
He was going to open the present and see how horrible it was that box of memories and they would break up. Maybe not now because of the fans, but once he started reading the letters and seeing how messed up he was, it would be an endgame. No one, being in their right mind, would stay after reading those letters. Before he could be totally swallowed by his traitorous mind, he heard a scream and someone throwing themselves at him, arms around his neck.
“Thank you!” Nie Huaisang screamed in his ear, pulling him against himself. “Thank you so much!” He sounded happy, but he was crying too.
“What the fuck, Huaisang? Are you crying?” He said, trying to look at his face where it was hidden on his neck. “Why are you-...” He started, before seeing the box sitting on his lap. “Oh.”
“A-Cheng.” He whined, looking up. “Look what you did to me. I’m crying like a baby.” The tears were falling two by two, big fat tears that he did not like to see on his face. “When did you buy it?”
“I made it.” He blurted out, focused on wiping the tears.
“What?” He blinked, sniffing loudly.
“I made it. I made most of the things in the box, including the box. The only things I bought were the fans, I still don’t know how to make fans like you.” He kept wiping the tears, putting his sleeve over his nose for him to blow. “You know I’m not good with handcrafted gifts but since it’s your birthday I tried.”
“I love you so much.” Nie Huaisang hugged him again while Wei Wuxian took the box from his legs and turned it on.
“What memory did you use?” He asked and, oh yeah, Jiang Cheng never told any of them what memory he was planning to use. He instructed MianMian to turn the light off, rearranging it on the small coffee table in the center.
“One from when me and Da-ge were younger.” Nie Huaisang answered as Nie Mingjue’s eyes filled with tears at recognition. “Best present ever.” He whispered, leaning on him with a small smile on his lips and watching as the memory came to life again. Jiang Cheng smiled down at him, passing an arm over his shoulders and watching as he told the story about how Nie Mingjue, who had many comments on how it was being told, almost had a heart attack when he was seventeen.
It was, indeed, the best present ever.
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aditya is going to be grounded forever and ever and ever once he gets caught lmao. indus might even throw a slipper at him 😔someone please help him (not yao he's going to make it worse. or maybe yao can give him nice doodles and presents as a way of consoling him. he probably won't feel bad but at leas he will try to make his friend less sad lmao. and iran would help!! even as they're like "wtf you're SUCH A BAD INFLUENCE" @ yao. their combined efforts would likely make aditya very happy!!) the poor baby will not be having any fun for a Very Long Time :(
HM i think nyo china should live in a place of residence that makes me want to eat the rich whenever i walk past it, filthy capitalist that she is. but should that be the penthouse apartment of a high-rise condominium or should it be a lovely landed property? or maybe she has 2 houses an apartment for yao and sometimes herself in the suburbs of their primary school and a rich people house in the city that is near the elite high school she WILL get yao into (but this might mean moving yao away from his friends in middle school 😔) . decisions are hard. but yes she definitely buys her way out of trouble with her neighbours all the time
"you should follow his example in the things he's a model at not in things he does badly" i CHOKED i don't think i've heard a more chinese parent quote than this for the past 3 years they would totally say this and of course their disgruntled kids would complain that yao is um not the most respectful of the law dhwkntke
ALSO HIS POOR TEACHERS... I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY HAVE A CLUB THAT'S SO SAD OH MY GOD
hmm i think that like. even without a mentor's guidance yao will probably become less unruly and wild as he ages, as a process of growing up and becoming less focused on causing Chaos (he's directing that feralness to like. making an actual plan to take over the world probably), because society's tolerance for buckwild bullshit decreases as you get older and older, and the likelihood that he'll miss out on awards and other accolades if he continues this sort of behaviour, which his ambition won't allow for. BUT what i think won't change is the fact that he's an arrogant asshole and he becomes more and more so as he grows up with a lifetime of academic and extracurricular excellence. so im just saying imagine said sub in high school absolutely tearing apart one of his assignments. like just covering the whole thing in red-inked ruthless rebuttals and giving him a c. yao has never gotten a c in his life and is both humiliated and impressed because the sub is RIGHT, and they managed to outlogic him (which up till now only his friends + nyo china could probably yao doesn't associate with dumb people). and then he progresses amazingly in that class during the sub's remaining time with them and gets nyo china to let the sub teach him when they land a job. like i feel as though he would greatly benefit from an older mentor who won't tolerate his bullshit and would challenge him to reach new heights and this might be person!! (this thought is kinda unrefined and doesn't fully explain the Vibes but i need a nap now + it's not really Baby au anymore it's Slightly Less Baby au fhwinfkwg good afternoon to you and good night for me!)
They’re so sweet omg ☺️ Yao and Iran giving Aditya little presents... I love it. Their small gang of bastards has to stick together after all. Also yeah RIP India; at least they still have time to interact at school, but at-home hours is rough. (also, Yao’s neighborhood is moderately far from Aditya’s, but what about Iran? o-o I feel like they’d live a bit closer (?), maybe a couple streets away, and Iran isn’t on Indus’s blacklist yet............ (but then again, Indus probably banned any of his friends coming over lol). Also, Yao makes a plan to somehow get into the house across from Aditya’s and flash morse code at night with flashlights so they can talk, and hopefully it entertains his house arrested friend! Iran is dragged along for the ride and just goes with it lol. Jury is out on whether they get caught.)
Nyo China’s many houses.... :| she would do that oh my god. Also I think (?) there was a whole crackdown a while ago in China on people who were buying houses they didn’t live in, so they could get their kids into good schools in that residential area.... that radiates her vibes and I hate it. Miss China, how does it feel living in a penthouse, or just being rich in general O-o I LAUGHED at “decisions are hard” that’s everything about nyo china. “hmm yes I can’t choose which house I actually want to live in so why not just buy all 5??? yep, sounds like a good idea!” O_________O can’t relate
lol thank you; I was trying to channel Chinese parent energy and I’m glad it came through! The kids are grumbling that Yao could just be 100% awful or 100% academically stellar, but no, he has to be a genius AND a delinquent (just choose one, god) also yes they have a lil club just for them! Only people who have the honor of suffering get to join :)
And to your last paragraph, HELL YES IT’S CANON NOW. “Yao doesn't associate with dumb people” I’m crying omg. Yao takes all honors/gifted classes and doesn’t speak to anyone who doesn’t 😭 The big red C glaring at him from the top of his (once beautiful) essay stabs him viscerally in the chest and he needs to take a few days before looking at it again in order to recover his strength ego. He reads through all the comments and each one shreds his ego even more lmao; they’re not even mean comments but he just knows the sub is Completely Correct and sinks into a low like he’s never had. But yesss @ the whole episode pushing him to do better in order to keep up his Academic Excellence, and maybe impress the sub whom he now views as superior and whom he actually has respect for.
May I propose the sub is miss Vietnam o-o... she probably should be in the gang of ancients (as the only other kid who can rival Yao in Logic and fistfights, but isn’t friends with him like the other ancients because he sucks and she doesn’t like his bs) but shhhhh.... we can make a spin-off AU and nobody needs to know... lol anyways, I feel like if the substitute is Vietnam, she and Yao would have some sort of antagonism (not too tense but not friendly bickering either) at the beginning; Yao really wants to impress her and do better in class but Vietnam just. Does not like how he’s an asshole, especially to other people he thinks are below him sksksk. But they slowly warm up to each other especially as Yao gets ~reformed~ ever so slightly, and then it turns into friendly bickering and Long Debates on various intriguing topics (Yao always plays devils advocate in those :|). But yeah I definitely think she’d be a good candidate ig, since she doesn’t take bs even from the star pupil who is also an ass. And she’s a sub at first, so it gives her a little bit more room to throw hands whenever she wants instead of having to control herself lol
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somepinkthing · 5 years
Text
and at last, we grieve
Xichen’s body shook as he stood and towered over Huaisang’s frail form. It didn’t make him feel any stronger. Perhaps it was due to how Huaisang didn’t shrink away for once or the steadiness with which he lifted his head to look at Xichen but, despite Huaisang being just as dainty as ever, Xichen felt as if he couldn’t possibly take down the man seated in front of him even if he mustered all the strength he had left.
Huaisang smiled a sad sort of smile. “Zewu-jun you are still rather shaky on your feet. Please stay seated.”
Xichen couldn’t think of any reply to this but his own pride made it impossible to sit down despite his apparently obvious shakiness.
“Why did you do it like that?” Xichen asked instead, not even bothering to clarify the change of topic. The other would understand. “Why choose that method? Why choose a method your brother would have hated?! Why lie to me?!”
With every word he increased in volume. By the end, Lan Xichen was practically roaring. And yet, all Huaisang did was give a dainty jolt when Xichen started yelling and gave nothing else away after. His face remained impassive as he waited for Xichen to catch his breath.
“Zewu-jun, do you think me stronger than my brother in any way?”
The question seemed to come out of nowhere and caught Xichen off guard.
“What?”
Huaisang shook his head and waved off Xichen’s confusion. “It was rhetorical anyways. I know you don’t because I know I’m not. My brother was my protector, he was always the strong one. He could be a mess sometimes but at the end of the day he’d always stand in front of me and show me the right path. He’d always do the most upfront and honest thing. That was who he’d always been and it was who he still was when he faced down Jin Guangyao.”
Huaisang turned to stare down Lan Xichen before continuing.
“He went to you then, didn’t he? He did everything that there was to do within his moral code. And what happened to him anyways?”
He’s dead. It was a fact that lay heavy between the two of them.
“And me?” Huaisang continued with a feather-light laugh, sounding almost giddy, “I’m weaker than him by a long shot. I couldn’t have taken anyone down physically nor do I have the reputation needed to sling those accusations around. But then, neither did I have such a strict and binding code of conduct. I had to take advantage of my weaknesses if I wanted to have my revenge.”
“And I wanted to have my revenge, as you can well see,” Huaisang finished, his voice dropping low and soft at his last sentence.
Xichen laughed a dry, enraged sort of laugh. “So you’re saying you had no choice?”
Huaisang wryly smiled back. “If I wanted to win, then I had very few routes I could choose from. But that’s not to say I had no choice at all. I was raised better than to believe that. I had many choices. I could have chosen to stubbornly do things my brother’s way–even though victory wasn’t guaranteed, neither was failure. I could have chosen to simply ignore it and go on with my life–killing my brother’s killer was never going to make losing him any easier and I knew that. I could have shown more patience, used less people, trusted more people, been sharper. I know I can’t prove it but even I didn’t imagine that he’d try to wipe everyone out. I mean, talk about an overreaction. As is always the case, things could have gone better.”
Hearing him say it was like a knife to the heart for Xichen. Could it be that all his suffering was simply due to some oversight Huaisang made? Could he have lived on peacefully if he hadn’t been forced to realize? Did he want that? Did he wish Huaisang had put more consideration into his plot and had simply left him out of it?
“Then why chose this?” He had to know.
“Why do we make any of the choices we do?,” Huaisang replied, “Probably because at the time it seemed like the best way to do things. Or because it was the first thought that occured to me. Or because I was so angry that everything else failed to matter. And it’s as simple as that. I won’t claim to have no regrets or guilt nor will I claim that I would undo it all if I could. I did what I did and regretted my mistakes afterwards like any normal person.”
The entire time he spoke, Huaisang’s voice remained almost forcefully steady, never straying too far in tone or volume.
“Zewu-jun, does knowing that make you feel better or worse?”
The question pierced Xichen through the soul and he collapsed. He fell to his knees and sobbed without any care for his audience.
“Are you telling the truth? Or just another composed lie?” Xichen demanded between heaves.
Huaisang sighed. “I am being more honest right now than I have been for over a decade. And I’d hardly say I’m acting composed. Truthfully it’s all making me feel a little lightheaded. I feel like all I can do is talk and keep myself upright.”
Xichen wanted to make him leave. He wanted to push him out. But he also wanted to push for answers. It’d been a whole year already and he still felt as if he was stuck in that temple. He wanted freedom from the one person who was still alive to give it to him. He didn’t want to ask, didn’t know what to ask next. His mind was still in a jumble. It had been for over a year now.
“Why me then?” he demanded, settling on a question at long last.
“It didn’t exactly have to be you,” Huaisang answered, "After the poison failed, I just needed someone to deal the blow."
“But you wanted it to be,” Xichen accused, “You wanted it to be me who killed him.”
“Yes.”
There had been no hesitation in Huaisang’s response, just cold acceptance. To Xichen, it felt incredibly cruel to have all of his pain and regret surrounding that one moment wrapped up neatly into an easy admission of guilt.
“Why? Why would you do that to me?”
Huaisang paused then. It was the first time since he’d gotten here that he’s been so obviously hestitant to answer any of Xichen’s questions. For some reason that only made Xichen want to push for it more.
“Why?” he demanded, “Tell me why!”
Huaisang’s eyes widened at the anger suddenly pouring out of the man kneeling on the floor. Xichen could tell he was shocked and hurt. Instinctively, Xichen almost reached out to provide comfort before Huaisang started to cry.
But he didn’t cry at all. Xichen watched as something almost unbelievable happened: Nie Huaisang answered rage with rage. Xichen watched his placcid persona collapse and twist into anger.
He looked so much more like Nie Mingjue this way that it hurt.
“Why did you make my brother swear with that man? Why did you not believe him when he went to you? Why did you tell everything to Jin Guangyao?” Huaisang asked back, venom rapidly working its way into his previously blank tone of voice, “Why did you protect him even after learning of the details of my brother’s death? Why did you think that I wouldn’t want him dead? Huh?! You answer me first, Zewu-jun! What did my brother do but love and cherish you? How did he ever hurt or disrespect you? Why did loyalty mean so much more coming from Jin Guangyao than it did from him?!”
“It mattered!” Xichen couldn’t help but counter. He’d loved his sworn brothers, both of them!
But Huaisang seemed to disagree.
“There are many people who get to judge my actions, Zewu-jun. Your brother, for one. Jiang Wanyin has killed thousands of cultivators in war and hundreds of innocents in cold blood at this point and he still gets to judge me. And I don’t even have to mention all the people Wei Wuxian has hurt, directly or as collateral, and yet he gets to judge me too. I dragged them into a problem that wasn’t theirs. I placed them in danger to fullfill my needs. I placed their children in danger! And two innocents, Qin Su and Mo Xuanyu, died inadvertantly due to my own actions. I imagine I’m due in for a bad time in my next life if these people have anything to say about it. But you? You have nothing over me. You and I owe each other no apologies anymore. Any apologies we might want to give each other can go to my brother now.”
And what could Xichen say to that? How could he retort when Huaisang said out loud the same thoughts that had been swimming through Xichen’s head since he first learned of A-Yao’s betrayal?
Huaisang’s last admission took the wind out of both of them. The last remaining vestiges of pride escaped and Xichen bent over onto the cold floor, openly sobbing and sounding like some wounded animal. He didn’t try to speak or ask any more questions, he wouldn’t have been able to manage any words even if he could piece together his thoughts. Huaisang didn’t seem to fare any better. His face was now hidden behind a large fan but his delicate little hiccups and the occasional shuddering of his shoulders gave him away.
They cried together for what must have been for hours. Neither of them spoke, neither of them had any ability to speak. They cried until they were dried out and then, instead of stopping, proceeded to sob tearlessly after that. For anger. For regrets. For all the people they’d hurt. For all the people who had hurt them. For Nie Mingjue. For Jin Guangyao. For each other. For themselves. A lifetime of grief poured out of each of them, two oceans colliding against one another in this tiny room, and neither had any reason to hide it anymore. No one would care if they crumbled anymore.
Finally, when they were both a tiny bit more composed, a thin voice rang out between them.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
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asiryn · 5 years
Text
tagged by @primrose-path-of-dalliance (!!!!!! thanks!!! (lmao, it’s been so long since i’ve been tagged in anything XDD))
Rules: Name your top 10 favourite characters from 10 different fandoms, then tag 10 people!
i’m putting this behind a cut, bc i rambled on for quite a while XDD these won’t be in any particular order, and the fandoms will be chosen based off of what i’m currently most into/whichever ones i think of first XD
1. Maleficent [Disney]
okay, i lied a little.....she is clearly my #1 favorite character of all time, so of course she’s first (the rest of the list won’t be in any particular order :P). but....yeah, i love her forever and for all time and eternity, i love her class and elegance, my hunt for all merchandise of her that i can get my hands on is legendary and knows no bounds, she’s my forever girl, etc, etc. if you know only one fact about me, it’s probably that i love maleficent. there’s nothing i can say here that i haven’t probably already said a million times over, so i’ll move on XD
(moana has risen to be a pretty close second, tho)
2. Anthony J. Crowley [Good Omens]
i read the book from a library over a decade ago, and i liked it well enough, but it like....wasn’t an instant new fave that i had to immediately buy for myself (tho it is on a list of books that i wouldn’t mind owning...but maybe it’s finally time, who knows). i’m halfway through the show, and i’ve finally fallen in love with it (i think it finally being a #confirmed love story between our favorite ineffable idiots finally gave it the push it needed XD). it’s still a bit early for me to have a solid, definite fave, but lbr, if i know myself at all, it’s gonna be crowley XD i love this dumb demon (who’s rivaled in his idiocy only by his equally dumb angel husband), i love how he’s so soft even as he tries desperately to convince himself and everyone else that he isn’t, that he loves so many things and humanity and an angel even as he tries to say that he isn’t capable of it, that he never stopped questioning even after it had made him Fall. also, i am so thankful that the fandom has really embraced the potential for the shenanigans of crowley’s snake form.👍
(second place is probably aziraphale, but i also really love anathema too)
3. Namine [Kingdom Hearts]
another one that probably comes as no surprise, if you know me. i love this girl to the ends of the universe. i love the way she reclaimed her agency, her selflessness and determination, her empathy and kindness, how she went from a damsel in distress to pretty much saving everyone, over and over and over again. she deserves only happiness and the best things from now on. and please, for the love of god, give her some new clothes, nomura. >_>
(second fave is roxas, tho really, i love 98% of all the characters in this series ;;;)
4. Aerith Gainsborough [Final Fantasy VII]
my precious sunshine girl 💖 i prefer her in the original game, where she was sweet and optimistic, yes, but she was also sassy and fierce and took shit from no one. i love the girl that decided she wanted to wear a sexy red dress just for the hell of it, and threatened to rip off a mafia don’s balls. i love the girl that was confident and flirty with cloud, but never let any kind of bullshit ‘rivalry’ get in the way of being friends with tifa. i love that she always called cloud out on his bullshit, that she never let tragedy and oppressive shinra forces grind out her optimism, that she never stopped dreaming of a better future. i love that she was exposed to the worst of human nature, and yet still believed that they were worth saving. i love all versions of aerith, obvs, but they’ve definitely smoothed out her edges over the years, and i think that’s a shame. so here’s hoping that she’ll be more like her original self in the remake. 
also, can’t wait to see aerith die again :)))))))
(my second fave tends to flip between cloud and sephiroth)
5. Ling Yao / Greed [Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood]
look. listen. i can’t choose between them, i just can’t. and hey....technically they sort of combine into one entity, so it’s totally fine to count them together, right?? XDD so yeah, it’s really fucking hard to pick a fave out of this cast, bc there’s only like....3 characters?? that i don’t love. but ultimately, it had to be these two. every single second they’re on screen, they totally steal the show, and they have a lot of the best scenes and moments in the series. i love ling, how he seems like a total goofball and comic relief at first, but fairly quickly you come to see just how fucking seriously he takes his duties and responsibilities, how selfless and devoted he is to his people, how he would walk through hellfire for the people he loves. he’s just....he just loves, so fiercely and intensely, that he moves even greed into loving him and the people he cares about without even trying. 
and then there’s greed, who even from the beginning, you can’t help but be charmed by, with his sarcastic slow claps and laidback attitude. but over time, you see that he’s just like ling, really, in that he can’t help but get attached to these humans, that he loves them just as fiercely and intensely, even as he desperately tries to play it off. i love the way his character serves as a means for the story to have a really thought-provoking rumination on the nature of sins and desires, and on humanity (as do all of the other homunculi). i could go on forever about these two, and about the show in general, bc it’s just so deep and incredibly layered and complex, so i’ll stop here. 
(next fave after them is winry)
6. Bucky Barnes [MCU]
it’s hard for me to talk about bucky without just dissolving into endless sobbing, but i’ll try my best. he’s just.....he’s someone who has ended up suffering so fucking much, who has every reason in the world to be angry and bitter and resentful and if this was the villain origin story, you’d probably find it hard to blame him. (also, i refuse to say that bucky was ever a villain, bc he never willingly chose to be with hydra, he’s a victim goddamn it--) and yet....he still chooses to be good. to be kind. he could have chosen to go on an endless revenge tour against hydra, but instead he focuses on his own recovery. and always, always, always, he puts other people first. he chooses to goddamn freeze himself, possibly forever, so that he doesn’t hurt people again. he’s truly an inspiration to me, because even after everything he’s been through, he still doesn’t give up. ......and if you’ll excuse me, i need to resume crying about bucky barnes for the rest of eternity 😭😭😭
(next faves are sam and steve. what can i say, i love my caps XP)
7. Keladry of Mindelan [Tortall]
speaking of inspirations, few (if any) characters inspire me more than kel does. unlike every other tortall protagonist, she has absolutely no magic at all, and she starts her story with more odds stacked against her than any of the others. the system and institution are against her, and most people actively, viciously hate her and want to see her fail, all for being a girl and daring to openly step outside of her gender roles. and yet, kel never gives up, and wins through pure will and determination. more than that, she never stops fighting any oppression that she sees, and is always looking out for the abused and marginalized of society. she is fair and just and righteous, and full of a quiet, immovable strength that i, frankly, envy. she’s a fucking mountain; you haven’t a hope of ever tearing her down. 
(other faves....george, raoul, and dom. it’s really fucking hard to choose between them, i can’t even)
8. Oree Shoth [Inheritance trilogy, by N. K. Jemison]
oree is pretty much single-handedly responsible for me loving this trilogy, and is the reason why The Broken Kingdoms (the second book, of which she is the protagonist) is in my top 3 favorite books of all time. she is....just so fucking radiant. she’s a blind artist, and is flung so far out of her depth in the story, and yet she holds her own. in this world of gods, she brings this incredibly human element, and is celebrated because of her humanity. she’s angry and flawed, but also full of love, compassion, kindness, and mercy. she teaches gods the meaning of forgiveness. she takes shit from no one. just....do yourself a favor, and read this series, even if it’s only so that you can read this book. 
(second fave....it’s probably shiny, lbr XD)
9. Sirius Black [Harry Potter]
ahhh, a classic fave. but yeah, i still love him, even after all these years. yes, he’s incredibly flawed, but at his core, he’s just so loyal, and he loves so fiercely, and he tries his absolute best to be there for harry, that i can’t help but love him. also, i have a Thing, for characters who suffer so tremendously, but who don’t give up, and still try their best to be good people anyway. also, wolfstar was the foundation of a very formative part of my life, and put me onto the road of accepting my queer identity, so i’ll always have a soft spot in my heart for the characters who were a part of that. 🤷‍♀��
(other faves are luna and harry, always)
10. Gladion [Pokemon]
mostly his anime incarnation, tho i do like him in the games as well. i love this soft goth boy with all of my heart. he’s so gentle and kind and loving, and i can’t even with him. 
(other faves are lillie, n, zoey, and kukui)
if you guys want to do it, i’ll tag... @dabiden, @green-piggy, @seasbelow, @theroyalweekend, @toomanyfeelings5, @ashetrashe, @neddea.....i can’t think of anyone else, and i’m running out of steam, so if you want to do it, then consider yourself tagged! :)
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nethwan · 5 years
Text
Yellow and Red
Chapter 1: Yellow Tulip
Summary:  Mei will meet, who she’ll think, is the most obnoxious man on earth: Lars Janssen. The feeling will be mutual. Lars will thought that Mei is such an insolent and rude woman. However, her eyes and her smile won’t be easy to forget.
Note: This fic only has 2 chapters, so it will be updated soon. Also, this is a rewritten story, from one I already post, but I wasn’t satisfied with the result. This is also a Modern Pride and Prejudice AU. Yellow tulips have a lot of meanings, but I chose the “unrequited love” because it fits the story. 
Other links:
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13236210/1/Yellow-and-Red
https://archiveofourown.org/works/18137162/chapters/42884600
Mei checked that all the flowers were in their right place. There were roses, peonies, and tulips. Everything looked perfect, like a dream. Now she had to give the bouquet to the bride. She arrived to the room where she was, the door was half-opened, so she could hear a masculine voice:
“Why they are so late with the bouquet? What kind of service is this?”
“Lars, please, you seemed more anxious than me”
Mei knocked at the door; the bride smiled at her and took the bouquet. The man next to her was serious and hardly looked at her. Another young man appeared; he looked at the bride and smiled. He told her that it was time.
“Well, here I go” the bride took a deep breath.
Mei followed them while the wedding march sounded. The bride walked at the aisle and the ceremony began. Mei thought that was a very cute couple. One of the things she enjoyed the most about being a florist, besides the flowers, was when she had to work in weddings.
---
When she arrived to the reception, Ling, her sister and coworker, was there. Mei found everything in order. The bride and the groom had asked them to stay and enjoy the party, and both sisters did it gladly.
“So, Antonio, little brother, you couldn’t get marry with a better girl than Emma. I really hope you’ll be happy, take care and love each other. Now toast the newlywed’s happiness, and please, don’t make me uncle so suddenly…” The groom’s best man said.
Everyone was laughing, but the bride’s big brother. Mei thought he had to be such a bitter guy to not laugh at a little joke. For a moment, she thought that he was looking at her, but he looked away before their eyes met. Probably, it had been a coincidence.
“Hey, Lars, what are you doing? Why don’t you talk with the bridesmaids” Paulo said.
“It’s what I told him; there are so many pretty girls here” Henri said. Then someone got his attention. “Like that girl”, and he followed her.
Paulo smiled and said:
“What about the other florist? She is really gorgeous”
Mei heard that comment, but she didn’t pay them so much attention. That Lars seemed so obnoxious that she didn’t want to hear his response.
“I don’t think I could call her ‘gorgeous’. I’d say she is… ok, I guess, but I wouldn’t waste my time on her” he replied, annoyed.
“What the…! That guy…” she thought, but it wasn’t the moment to make a scene, besides, he seemed to be the worst person she had ever met. It wasn’t worth it. She told Ling about it and both laughed. After a while, they went to talk with the newlyweds. He was there too.
“Brother, why don’t you have fun and dance with someone?” Emma asked him.
“Listen to your sister, I’m sure you’ll find someone pretty enough for you and not only ok” Mei smiled sarcastically, and he blushed.
A bit later, Mei and Ling said goodbye and left the party.
Lars was still shocked by that answer. He made a fool of himself. But also, what an insolent woman, he was glad that at least they wouldn’t see each other again. However, those defiant eyes and that mischievous smile would be difficult to forget.
---
“I’d say she is ok. What an idiot” Mei said.
“Forget that” Ling asked her.
“I see you two had fun” Jiang said when they arrived home.
“Yes, we did, but you must ask Ling instead, she had more fun” Mei said winking.
Jiang just looked at both of them, and smiled.
“Nothing happened! We just talked” Ling replied, blushing.
They told him about the wedding, the flowers, the bride’s dress and that blond young man called Henri. Then Ling’s phone rang, she looked at the screen and smiled. He sent her a message.
---
While Mei and her siblings opened the flower shop, they saw it was about to open a new and bigger one. Her big brother, Yao, just shook his head. Mei sighed, they were losing clients lately, and the shop needed some reparations, but they hadn’t enough money for it.
The sound of Ling’s phone broke the silence, she answered nervously. Mei could notice that Ling’s cheeks turned pink and she smiled shyly. “It must be Henri” she thought and let her alone.
Even though, Ling said he was a friend, her smile when she talked about him, said another thing. At least she met someone nice at that party and not an obnoxious person, who he thought he was? Mei got mad because she couldn’t forget that moment.
It wasn’t because Mei liked to think about it, but obviously, Henri reminded her of him. And now, due to a bad karma, she saw Lars every day in her way to work. He looked away every time they met. Mei ignored him too; after all they weren’t even acquaintances.
---
“Mei” Ling started, she seemed shy and Mei knew that she was about to ask her a favor. “I’m going to go out with Henri, but I would like that you come with me”
“Why? It’s a date; I can’t be your third wheel”
“No, it’s not a date; he’ll invite a friend too. Please, Mei”
Mei accepted, she wasn’t interested on a blind date, but if it was important for Ling, she’d do it. She thought that maybe the friend was one of the wedding guests. Then she had a bad feeling. What if he was Henri’s brother? No, she thought, that man was too arrogant for these things.
When they arrived to the place where Henri was waiting, Mei’s smile disappeared. Lars was there too. What kind of joke was this? She wondered. Ling apologized with a glare, but Mei just smiled at her.
They went to a restaurant. Both Lars and Mei were quiet and they didn’t see each other. Ling and Henri seemed uncomfortable as well. Then Henri made a comment to start a conversation. It didn’t work.
As soon as Lars gave his opinion, Mei contradicted him. First about fashion being a waste of money, then because she said he was greedy and he probably had no idea of what he was talking about. They had very opposite opinions, and both were stubborn enough to not giving up and change their minds.
Finally, Ling and Henri decided to say goodbye and end the date early. Mei apologized with Ling for her behavior, but she already knew how her sister was when she confronted people.
Henri wasn’t upset either. However, Lars was thoughtful, he wondered why even if he was just arguing with that woman; he couldn’t stop thinking about her. He thought she was too blunt and obstinate, but she was also too lively and clever, defending her arguments with such a passion that it was almost admirable. He had mixed feeling now.
---
A couple of days later, Lars went to the store to buy a bouquet. Mei wondered why he didn’t go to the other flower shop. He was too arrogant and disdainful to choose her little store.
“It’s for my mother. It’s her birthday. Also, my office is nearby, so I thought flowers would be a nice present” he explained, as it wasn’t a big deal. Actually, he wanted to see her and maybe apologize, but he couldn’t do it.
She didn’t respond. If he wanted to start a small talk, he chose the wrong person and moment. And she was still mad at him. Then he talked about the meaning of the flowers of the bouquet. He did it awkwardly.
“I know what they mean. It’s all what you want?” she asked.
He nodded, paid and said goodbye. She sighed. Then she understood why she saw him every morning. Why she had to put up with him, and also, what made him think that she was interested on knowing about his life. She had enough with that awful “date”.
---
“I invited him to my birthday party” Ling confessed.
Mei was happy for her. Ling was very quiet and reserved, people thought she was kind of intimidating, but actually, she was a little bit shy. That Saturday, Henri arrived early, but he wasn’t alone, his brother was with him.
“I am sorry his brother is here again” Ling told her.
“It’s fine, as long as I don’t have to talk with him” Mei joked.
Mei looked at Ling and Henri at the distance; both were still too shy, but friendly. She couldn’t believe that Lars was just standing in a corner as if he was judging everyone there. If it was for her, she would have invited him to get out of there.
And then, her eyes met his, she ignored him. And it happened again and again. Every time she turned around to see him, he was looking at her; she wondered what his problem was. She wanted to ask him to stop. Maybe he was looking if her family was good enough for his brother, and that’s why he was there.
“That’s the guy?” Lien asked her later.
“Yes, he is” Mei said annoyed.
“Well, he has been looking at you for a while”.
“Ugh. I can’t stand him. He is just there, avoiding people as if he was superior”
Then, a noise in the garden distracted them. Jiang shook his head while Yao was scolding Li and Yong Soo. They just started a fire in the garden; none of them felt guilty. Mei got mad at everyone, she saw Ling trying to hide her embarrassment, and Henri looked very worried. When the two brothers went home, Mei felt relieved, but she couldn’t say the same about her sister.
---
In the next days, Ling didn’t see Henri as much as she used to. Then, he called her to tell her he was going to move to another city, because of a new work. She wished him luck.
“Are you going to be fine?” Mei asked her.
“Of course I will. He is my friend; after all, his works is important”
Mei didn’t know what to say. She knew Ling always took everything so easy, and she would keep her feelings to herself. Mei sometimes wished to be like her, but at the same time, she didn’t want to see her suffering in silence. So, she tried to distract her by inviting her to their favorite restaurant.
---
Friday, Mei and Ling went to their favorite restaurant, as she promised. Mei noticed that Lars and other people were there, she just sighed. Why? Why in her favorite place? That was too much. She went to the bathroom to wash her hands. Two of Lars’ companions were there.
“His brother is so lucky; can you believe he didn’t want to accept that job?”
“I know right? He wanted to stay just because of a girl, and according to Lars, she didn’t like him back. Fortunately, he convinced him…”
Mei couldn’t believe what she heard; Lars was the one who separated them. In that moment, she was more than convinced that Lars Janssen was the most selfish person on earth. What was she going to tell Ling? She was about to confront him, but when she got out of the bathroom, he wasn’t there.
---
The next day, Ling and Yao went home early. So when Mei was about to close the flower shop, Lars appeared. He looked at her, excused and left, but he returned, and while he looked at the floor, he said:
“I can’t stand it anymore… I tried to kept this as a secret, but it’s too much”
She didn’t understand what the hell he was talking about. He continued talking, his voice had an imperceptible trembling, he couldn’t see her, and he was anxious. Mei crossed her arms and sighed impatiently.
“What I want to tell you is… that, I think… I like you. I know it’s strange, especially because apparently we don’t have anything in common and people are going to say that I pulled myself down confessing to a girl who isn’t my type at all. You are so sarcastic and sometimes blunt, your family is noisy and a mess, and in spite of that, I like you. I’m surprised, but that’s how I feel. So, please, could you go out with me some day?”
She frowned at him. If he wasn’t that tall, she would slap him.
“No”
He turned pale when he heard the answer. “What?”
“I said no. Do you think I’m going to date a man who says he likes me even if he thinks I don’t deserve him? And how you dare to insult my family, and separate Henri and Ling, because that’s your fault, am I wrong?”
“That’s different, I was sure she didn’t like him”
“Are you serious? She can’t express her feelings easily, you don’t know her, you don’t have the right to judge her”
“You are doing the same with me. Don’t I have a chance?”
“No, you don’t. You are the last man I’d love... I hate you! Now, stop wasting my time. Get out of here. I am tired and I want to go home”
He couldn’t find anything but anger in her glare; he didn’t say anything and left.
Even though, Mei told him everything she thought about him, she felt that something was wrong and that didn’t let her sleep. She remembered him, he was vulnerable, and it seemed that he needed courage to talk with her. But he really had to be joking if he believed that she could accept him after that confession.
The next days, she didn’t see him again. She was glad, a problem less, she decided to forget what happened; after all he caused her nothing but troubles. A couple of days later, Ling gave her a letter.                
“What is this?”
“It’s from Henri’s brother. Look, I know you don’t like him, and you have your reasons, but maybe you should read it. He said it was important”
Mei hesitated and kept the letter in her purse. She read it when she was alone; ready to know what he had to tell her.
“Mei,
I’m really sorry. My intentions were good, but I didn’t know how to express my own feelings, and I ended up for offending you and your family. Forgive me for all the things I did and said. You were right, it was my entire fault. I was trying that my brother didn’t get heartbroken again, it was very hurtful for me seeing him in that condition; but this time I was so wrong. I deserved what you told me. Forget what happened. I won’t bother you again.
Best wishes, Lars.”
Mei read the letter twice. Inside the envelope she found a yellow tulip, she felt sad for that gesture… she thought that ended up there and they’d be at peace, but she was wrong.
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