#guess which mood i'm in?

[real-life-senshi]

So I realized just now that apparently I operate this blog on two specific modes only that’s on extreme ends of a spectrum.   

On the good end, it’s “Ooooo I am so well rested and doing so well, I fill inspired and motivated so let me make content and do updates and maintenance for my blog!”

On the not-so-good end, it’s “FML, everything is crap and I’m feel like a zombie, so I’m gonna drown myself in Reinako and PGSM to forget about EVERYTHING that’s sHiT and all the dUmPsTeR fIRe outside, since my blog on this hell site™ seems to be the only thing in my life that has never failed me so far.”

Welp, I’m in one of these two moods tonight, so I’m working on Reinako gifs.  Expect some content this weekend. :)

#guess which mood i'm in? #here's a hint #i didn't get the job i really wanted #and i finally let sink just how poorly and traumatizing my ex-supervisor had treated me in my current job #like i knew it and my friends knew it but i HAD TO SURVIVE so it never fully clicked becoz i didn't want to face it #now that he moved position and i have some space to process he gave me so much fucking crap #he's no longer my direct supervisor but he's still in the department and he still asks me for things and i'm so done with him I WANT OUT #but i need another job to be out :'( #and i'm so tired and job search is stressful #anyway so yeah i'm in a funk right now #so i'm making gifs #instead of actually looking for a therapist to speak with as my friends been telling me to do #so yeah this blog is run by someone who's a fucking mess #me

[nocturnalnewsiestrash]

There are two types of Bottoms (2023) rewatches (for me at least)

Or

#lets play a game of guess which one i am in tonight 🥹 #spoiler its not the first one #isokay though im managing it well *well being a relative term for my usual amount of my panic attack management system #bottoms 2023 #bottoms movie #the amount of giggly smiling tricks my brain into thinking we're actually feeling happy and in a giggly mood #and the unhingedness gives my empathetic nervous system a chance to redirect its focus onto THEIR issues instead of #mine and then suddenly my brain has realized we're not in immediate danger #and boom we've got a perfect panic disorder management strategy for me #the other type of rewatch is also very fun. trust. Especially when I'm introducing it to my other sapphic friends. so much glee #and unintelligible thoughts. giggly unintelligible thoughts #anyhoo here you all go :))

[crimeronan]

grown ass woman and you didn't even know Rhodesia? Please pray some Paradox Interactive games like eu4 or hoi4. look it up. Please this is depressing if even weird smart girls don't know basic history

hey guys. get a load of this fucking moron.

#mad i'm not your red scare coquette who knows about rhodesia huh. your weird smart girl manic pixie dream girl fantasy #i'm a high school dropout from rural fucking new hampshire in the US you useless fucking piece of shit. #like unfortunately you caught me in a worse mood than usual but get so fucking close right now. get so fucking close #girls who look up countries and terms they havent heard of before to understand posts >>>>> girls who know about rhodesia and send this ask #ooooh i wouldn't be this pissed off if you hadn't called me a weird smart girl like you're trying to pretend you respect me but waow #god fucking forbid i admit what i don't know and that i looked stuff up to learn. which i did on purpose. #because plenty of other people don't know stuff and are afraid to admit that they look stuff up to learn. #and i prefer to be someone that others are comfortable around. who makes other people feel more comfortable being imperfect #that's too much for you i guess. #shouldn't even respond to anons like this but i really want to get some strong hatred for you manifesting #everyone who reads this think really hard about anon dying in a fire #or just stepping on a lot of legos if you're a gentler soul #replies

[cutter-kirby]

you know amatonormativity in fiction doesn't just mean "aspec characters being forced into relationships" right? because although that is a huge part of it, it also means characters who are fully capable of being attracted to others are always paired up no matter what because "they would be lonely otherwise 🥺" like i don't know if i'm making sense right now but it really rubs me the wrong way when the only character in a fandom to not be constantly shipped is the aspec character because that still perpetuates the idea that romantic/sexual relationships are expected and being aspec is an outlier!!!!!! kicking and screaming this is still amatonormativity!!!!!!!!!

#kirbabble #small rant #aromantic #asexual #aroace #aspec #amatonormativity #take a wild guess which fandom i'm talking about. #sorry i'm in an angry mood right now >:[ #not gonna tag the particular fandom yet #anyway bottom line is: #you don't have to be aspec to be single!!! you can just be single!!! #and it doesn't fucking matter!!!!!!!!! #be single!!! be whatever man!!!!!!

[mildmayfoxe]

yesterday i posted "is my work shit???? am i a talentless HACK???" on twitter and nobody responded or even liked it so i guess it's official...... i'm a talentless hack..............

#oooh i'm in a bad mood! i looked at instagram too long and got so so sad bc all the artists i follow on there are so talented #and have space and time and materials i don't have. which i shouldn't be jealous of but i am of course #i just wish i had time and space to work on things. i wish i didn't have to worry about MONEY. #i wish i didn't have to juggle making art with having a job. idk. whatever. IT DONT MATTER! blah blah so sad. who care #chatpost #i guess i should go do something productive

[rookie98writes]

it's totally fine and normal to write 75% of a fic over two days and then barely touch it for six weeks, right?

#rookie rants #anbu part 3 is coming i swear #and the worst part is that i'm really proud of what i have so far?? #like the situation and plot is all solid and i literally just have to connect a few dots that all take place during the smut #which is arguably the most fun part to write? for me at least? #i guess it depends on my mood #ugh now i'm recognizing that i might have felt less attractive recently and thereby less likely to be fucked?? #idk my day-to-day has been stressful for like two months #nothing catastrophic or anything but enough to make me feel irresponsible for focusing on my little writing hobby #but i shall work through those issues and will one day post a new story! #thank you for visiting the tags i love you

[timelessbian]

*said with clenched fists, through gritted teeth* cringing at something i wrote nearly a decade ago is actually a good thing and i am being so strong and brave by reading it without clawing my eyes out

#been in a weird mood lately and got hit with thoughts about finishing [redacted] but rereading it is...testing my soul to say the least #not bc i think it's BAD it's more that i know i could do it better now bc i've improved a lot in the last 8 years #which like...i'm proud of myself!! a lot of the growth is quite literally visible in the fic itself #but i guess this is a lesson in why it's not ideal to leave a fic unfinished for 8 years #chances are nothing's even going to come of this and i doubt anyone's really still actively waiting for updates #and that's not me trying to fish for anything!! i'm just genuinely rereading and having a Time sjavhbsdvhd #the maddie diaries

[iamanartichoke]

I made the mistake of scrolling the dash last night, hoping to re-engage my Loki fandom feels, only to be reminded of why I've more or less quit this fandom - which, for the record, is bc I don't know if it's purity culture or "woke" culture or just "for the love of god, I'm begging you to touch grass" culture, but I'd like to engage with my blorbo without running into posts spouting takes like "saying Loki has small, slender hands is a feminization kink (and therefore bad)." Like?? I think there's something inherently anti-genderfluidity(?) to assume that men can't have small, slender hands or that having small, slender hands is automatically a feminine trait, and also Loki does have small, slender hands, and also even if it is being written as some kind of a kink, so what? Why are we kink-shaming?

I mean, I don't know, it just seems like there are more and more and more things that are being shamed, or criticized, based on an arbitrary sense of morality that undermines fiction as a creative, explorative form of art and it's just beyond exhausting - and fucking obnoxious - at this point.

#anyway i just needed to get that off my chest #bc every time i try to hop back on tumblr and like. do things #here comes this fucking fandom being like 'hahaha no' #'bc can we address how this is problematic or that's a kink or how there is only one true loki and here's all the ways in which #your loki is not my loki and wow what an abuse/torture/fascist apologist you are' and just #it's not just that it's obnoxious as fuck (though it is) #it's that this mindset is no longer limited to just tumblr or fandom spaces #it and similar mindsets have spread into the real world and books are being banned #and anti-lgbt+ laws are being passed to 'save the children' #there's no fucking escape from this toxic thought-policing basically #it's all a slippery slope #so anyway see y'all again in six months or whatever #i'm sure i'll have 3/4s of the fandom blocked by the point that loki season 2 drops #but in case there's still 1/4 of people left who actually want to talk about #character analysis and valid criticism based on the material and not morals #i guess we'll see #mood gif #standom frank

[ingo-ingoing-ingone]

could you do me a favor and tag whenever there are ocs in your reblogs? thank you very much

I've so far didn't see much of it on your blog but I just noticed it and I would appreciate it very much.

I can try, but anon, I don't always know what's an OC and what is a canon character in the vast world of Pokémon that I've just never seen before.

Do like minor OCs to fill in gaps in fics count? What about characters who are truly blank slates, like some of the depot agents?

I can try and tag when there's like major OCs but when it comes to minor characters that's where I'm not gonna split hairs.

I guess the tags will be #others ocs and less commonly #my ocs

#anon #I'm not gonna lie I'm giving you a hard side eye as to why you want this #it feels really rude #remember: every single character you know and love is someone's OC #also before anyone @ me: if the very concept of OCs was a trigger I doubt a person with said trigger #would be comfortable with any form of fandom or headcanon or fanfic #maybe I'm wrong but yeah #not in the mood today for figuring this out #anyways OCs are cherished and loved here by the owner of this blog #even if this is a canon character blog not an OC blog #(admittedly I'd reblog more OCs interacting with submas if it wasn't a lot of shipping which isn't my thing) #but when I see OCs interacting with submas in a platonic way I am happy to reblog it :) #sorry if any of this seems rude I'm tired and my mental state is not good #and admittedly. I'm kinda tired of trying to guess what people mean and always giving the benefit of the doubt #please bear with me I'm sorry

[dont-offend-the-bees]

Quirky representations of dementia should go die actually

#pardon me my friends i know I'm in a Good Mood today and will probably continue to be once I've taken some time to be mad/sad #but god the other night our ex-neighbour was obvs trying to comfort me #by talking bout a lady with dementia she knew who was onviously sick but in her mind she went out and did things and danced #and i was at the dinner table with my own sick lady #and therefore could not say honey. good for her i guess. #but my mum is almost aggressively trapped in her here and now #she doesn't know how to exist without us #her safe person is the husband her marriage was failing with #if we go out for five minute she panics and scratches at the door #she is sad and confused 95% of the time #content and confused the other 5% #and i can barely even visualise her as my mum anymore #because the mum who raised me would've killed herself if she knew this was coming #(like she used to tell me that. frequently tell her small child she'd rather kill herself than be unable to look after herself) #(which had a very normal impact on me I'm sure) #anyway. I'm a huge hypocrite and will still go and listen to marbles by the amazing devil and think it's the loveliest most romantic thing #and maybe some people do get lucky and find some joy in their minds when they have nothing else #but i have to just watch her brain fester and decay every day and there's just nothing quirky or beautiful about it #and all i can think is about how there's those mums who don't like raising small kids but enjoy parenthood when the kids are grown #and how that was supposed to be her #for a little while it was her #for a brief window of a couple of years she and i were each others best friend #and now she's this sad scared anxious thing shaped like my mum #who doesn't trust me as much as the man she was maybe a year or two out from leaving #and she's trapped in her brain and swiftly rotting #and it's just not cute and it's not funny #anyway #it is what it is #mr. bees speaks

[itwoodbeprefect]

i don't have a point here except ???, but i realized today that starsky & hutch episode the psychic a) was written by micheal mann of (among many other things) classic crime thriller heat fame, and b) contains a baffling amount of (references to) crossdressing. it's one of the two episodes that opens with starsky and hutch chasing a guy in a dress (which gives us the "well i don't know, you('d) look rather nice in basic black and pearls" starsky-to-hutch line), later on they interrupt a robbery being committed by ANOTHER guy in a dress (and grey wig, posing as an old lady - presumably with the intent to disguise his identity rather than express some part of it, but who knows), and THEN they meet a hot lady mechanic who among many fast lines says to starsky "i'm really a basketball player in drag. whatever turns you on, honey" (interestingly timely, considering starsky's earlier comment about hutch). and finally, not entirely related but also not unrelated, there's these people at a laundromat hutch hits up on his mad phone chase at the end of the episode:

so yeah. ???.

#haven't revisited this episode in a long time (if ever?) because maybe-THIS-psychic-is-REAL plots... are not among my favorite #(due south has an episode very similar to this and i'm blaming starsky and hutch for it. c'mon guys.) #but!! everything else about this episode is FUN actually!! slightly wacky lots of great s&h interaction and oooh that chase at the end #but i just. what's with this one thing. is this an attempt to be clever with a theme? as in. deception maybe. or you don't know what's real #or a kinder interpretation: there are things you may not understand in this world but that doesn't mean they're not true for someone else? #or is it meant as a recurring joke? is it literally pure coincidence? #did michael mann even write that first scene or did it come from the other episode that uses it and just got tacked on here #which suddenly makes this episode seem like it's Doing something when it wasn't supposed to #i have! many questions! among which is. why the hell was starsky in such a bad mood. what happened #... are you telling me he's psychic too and he had a deep dark feeling hutch was going to almost die later on? #i feel like i need to make a psych reference here but i haven't watched enough of the show to be clever about it. 🍍 i guess #* #starsky and hutch

[licorishh]

Listen I don't like to headcanon every character in everything as being neurodivergent because for one thing that's not realistic to have everyone in a random group of people be that way and often times it involves actually changing certain aspects of a character just to fit what you want which is not very cool, and for another thing I feel like it kinda minimizes the seriousness of things like autism and ADHD that really shouldn't be seen as "cute little quirks" BUT Alhaitham and Kaveh have one of the most autism + ADHD dynamics I've ever seen

Like realistically just taking the way they are

Mr. "Very Blunt but Not Because He Thinks He's Better Than Everyone, He's Just Extremely Intelligent and Matter-of-Fact, Can Only See Social Cues if They're Logical and on a Cognitive Level but He Doesn't Read Much Into It, Major Auditory Sensory Issues, Hates Talking Too Much With a Loathing, Doesn't Make Eye Contact For Longer Than Like Ten Seconds, Actually Talks a Lot When He's Talking About Something He's Either Planning or is Interested In," and Mr. "Constantly Frazzled and Squirrel-Brained, Loses Everything He Owns, Extremely Particular About Having The House 'Just So,' Has Tons of Financial Issues Not Because He's Lazy But Because He's Overly Dedicated to His Hyperfixation and Forgets to Live in The Real Word, Very Impulsive, Gets Easily Overwhelmed When He Has Too Much in His Head at Once and Too Many Expectations, Takes Alhaitham's Blunt Comments Wayyy Too Personally and Constantly Lives in Fear of Failure and Disappointing the People Who Count on Him," yeah you see where I'm going with this

This guy made a super interesting (and very underrated) video where he explains it really well!

I personally didn't agree with what he said about Kaveh, though. I think Kaveh's constant arguing and baiting comes from a place of wanting affirmation and desperately wanting to prove himself, particularly to the guy who used to be his best friend and now acts like he can't stand him (I know that's not the case and that Alhaitham mostly just thinks he's immature), and I think he has a lot of self-esteem issues that drive his behavior towards Alhaitham. I don't think it comes from a place of hate. I think he wishes they could communicate better and that they didn't have such a rift between them, but Alhaitham's failure to pick up on Kaveh's desire for affirmation and assurance (which I think is because Kaveh's not making it at all clear to him) isn't helping anything.

Tl;dr Kaveh's not actually immature, just has his own issues to work through including poor self-esteem which leads to him constantly asking for Alhaitham's opinion and constantly getting upset when Alhaitham disapproves or corrects or scolds him yet again because in his mind he thinks he hates him and he's desperate for him not to but he doesn't and just isn't good at making that clear. It's a loop, I think.

This turned into "Man look at these silly little relatable guys lol" into "Here let's do a character analysis" ksjdfhk

#genshin #genshin impact #alhaitham #kaveh #genshin alhaitham #genshin kaveh #alhaitham's insane introversion and irritation towards unnecessary flowery meetings and arrangements is a big mood #as is kaveh's inability to just Be a Person #like i said i'm not a fan of headcanonning tons of characters as being this way #if it already makes a lot of sense with the way they already are naturally then i think it's cool and can make it more relatable or fun #or can give you a better understanding of the character and higher sympathy for them #but changing a character's... well- character to fit them into a box you'd like them to be in is a little odd to me #and like i said these are things that should be taken seriously and not treated as funny little quirks like having heterochromia or smth #but for characters that it could easily apply to i think it's fine to have fun with it lol #like rottmnt did it so well with donnie and mikey and leo #they made it realistic and normal and portrayed it in such a good good way #it didn't feel forced or like they were just checking a box which i really appreciate #the more natural it is the better it'll be #i mean these are like the only two characters in the game that i actually headcanon this way #i guess you could make an argument for cyno but really the only thing he does is not pick up on sense of humor which is super frickin commo #and he's quite good at telling when people are lying and he doesn't really exhibit any other traits so i really don't think he's nd #in other words being more logical does not equal autism and being squirrely or enthusiastic does not equal adhd and that's really important #like with xiao for example #he can come off as cold and fundamentally does not understand humans and finds a lot of their behaviors to be a waste of time #but that's just because of his personality and because of how little time he's spent with humans #he does value deep connections and a single “ahem” from the traveler is enough to let him know to just accept a gift so he's fine with cues #or with albedo #he's just very logical and sometimes blunt but that's about it #just my thoughts tho #feel free to discuss!

[bigcats-birds-and-books]

ADHD Brain Moods™ (Derogatory Edition)

well, i got uuuuh four (4) sentences written of my ~Revisions~ today (i’m straight up not having a good time over here), but i DID jot down some classifications of the ADHD Brain Moods™ (Derogatory Edition), so have those instead internet:

>> “My brain is full of static” -- There’s nothing going on in there but ineffective Noise and it’s hell; I’m halfway to dissociated and everything is stupid and I Don’t Want To Be Here.

>> “My brain is full of spiders” -- Altogether too many legs; jerky, predatory, and agitated; itchy but can’t find the right spot to scratch for relief, Generally Irritated and Irritable

>> “My brain is full of crickets” -- Superficially seems quieter and level in there, but out of the blue we’ll SPRING to something totally unrelated and unexpected and we won’t get our scheduled shit done (or: Impulsive As Fuck)

#text #personal #whine whine whine #adhd #brain moods #anyway writing did Not Go Well but at least i have this stupid list that i can keep adding to when my brain is being Uncooperative #(and yes i know it's impending period time and i KNOW that makes it much worse but like. can we quit. i have shit to do and 48 weekend hour #and that's it. just. 48 hours. which is bullshit) #today started as crickets and then we slid into static for a while and now we're at spiders #but the order i recognized the Brain Moods is the one presented above #soooo i guess i'm gonna go knit to get a dopamine hit from finishing a square maybe #or just. read. also an option #i SHOULD do laundry. i absolutely don't want to do laundry. #in btw #driscoll #revising #writing

[scrawnytreedemon]

I don't get people.

#scrawny rambles #the drafted version of this post ha a whole bunch of venting in the tags #which does n o t need to be public lmao #regardless i'm guessing this is a mood for 100% of the audience here lmao #ah... what's even the point of trying anymore. everything i say backfires anyway. i just wanna fuck off an live alone in a hole rn.

[finnieforkys]

Casual outfits

#i'm suck at background so i just put them in the red void again #at least it provided a sort of romantic mood #they are not a couple though #why am i even writing these lol #no one gonna read this #uughhh i have to come to the hospital for throat treatment after this #i got diagnosed with acute laryngitis or something like that #original characters #ocs #my ocs #oc art #trans oc #can you guess which one? hint: it's both

[curiosity-killed]

writing patterns tag game

tagged by @veliseraptor which makes this a little funny for me bc it's like 'wow one of my favorite writers has influenced how i write. shocking!!' anyway this is also cheating a little bc I didn't want to just do all the one-shots from 'in the orchid hour'

Rules: List the first line of your last 10 posted fics and see if there’s a pattern.

Hua Cheng whines a little, already breathless. (Cinnamon and cloves)

“I’m going to say it,” Zizhen says abruptly. (a truth universal)

Her brother was easy to love and difficult to know. (non nobis nati)

The first thing Amelia learns after her life ends is that it is very clear when her husband is in the room and when it’s the angel wearing his body. (where you go (i will go))

The first time he meets Crimson Rain Sought Flower, Mu Qing barely makes it out alive. (til my feet are memory)

Wen Qing has never liked Lan Wangji. (sixteen stitches)

When he was a child, Xie Lian knew every gentle touch a mother or friend could offer. (for saints have hands)

All silk begins with death. (mori)

When he drives the dowel into his master’s heart, Lang Qianqiu does not remove Fangxin’s mask. (wolf trees)

He did not come back to her all at once. (this, this)

...yeah I basically tend to either start in the middle of Things Happening or with like...a central idea, I guess? I like to keep first lines relatively short and to the point and ideally have some irony in them + some establishment of The Sitch. I tend not to stew over first lines as much as I do last lines but that's partially because usually they've been percolating in the back of my mind for a few hours/days while the fic concept (and words) slowly coalesce so. ????

#being too lazy to tag rn sorry i am glaring murder at one of my clients thru. slack. and also gmail. #tag meme #anyway this is also true of my original fic #tcp starts off with declaring callebero's death; slack tide starts with veria waist-deep in water; peacekeepers starts with micah's nightma #*nightmares/haunting #hm i guess those are all the novel-length wips i have atm #i....also don't remember how viral starts but it's been so long since i really touched that OR ren/avery that i'll probably just scrap and #start fresh when i do turn back to them #i will say because i'm usually trying to write fic as fast as i can before the inspiration skitters off again #i VERY rarely edit/revise fic #the exceptions are like...mori/off hesperus/whipstitch/heart + bone (only bc of clem) #so usually the first line is really just the first line i wrote which is often just me trying to get the idea down for myself as fast as i #can in terms of like Concept and mood/scene/etc