#freaking is still good. still addicting. but that I FUCKING KEEP IT LOW is beautiful

[everywhere-all-around-the-world]

New obsession unlocked: Beomgyu's prechorus in LO$ER=LO♡ER <333333333

#i revisited loser lover after a while. it has me in a chokehold again #FIGHTING BLEEDING LOSING 이젠 지쳤어 #가질 수 없다면 #I FUCKING KEEP IT LOW #the way he sings it is so addicting i need it on loop #i am so a n g r y that spotify has the fucking censored the fucking is so satisfying #freaking is still good. still addicting. but that I FUCKING KEEP IT LOW is beautiful #txt #that entire song is godly #after i dived into skz i was on the lookout for another boy group to get into #it was always between txt enhypen and seventeen and my moa/stay friend forcefully shoved me into txt #no regrets #thankfully there is a lot of txt enhypen content! so i can multitask! #one day i will do a deep dive into seventeen bc they slay #i got sidetracked in the tags again. oh well

[minniiaa]

(long ass post just me rambling about a new lawlu fic idea. t/w for discussion of addiction and sui attempt. feel free to keep on scrolling.)

Writing a new modern au about Law becoming an addict after Shachi, Penguin, and Bepo died in an accident coming to pick him up. It's inevitably going to be a healing LuLaw story, Luffy finding him in his apartment by sheer luck after he decided to end his life on the one-year anniversary of their deaths. Luffy is in his hospital room when he wakes up, a cute stranger who he discovers is his neighbor and also a firefighter. Luffy declares that he's going to be his friend which makes no sense to Law, why would a guy like him with such a good life want to be friends with a pathetic junkie freak who just tried to off himself? What he doesn't know is that Luffy knows what it's like to lose the most important people to you, to feel so alone and not know how you're going to go on. Only Luffy did go on. He built a new family for himself, a home, and a life where he could be happy and he wants Law to do the same.

The first chapter was one of the darker, more emotional things I've written, detailing Law's relationship with death and how he is convinced everyone he ever cares for will die because they all have died. He falls into despair and tries to die once but can't go through with it. He turns to alcohol, finding that it numbed the voices in his head that screamed at him every waking moment. So the decline begins, Law becoming a street rat alcoholic who goes to grimy bars, going home with any guy whose willing to fuck him until it hurts, the pain overwhelming everything in his head. Alcohol turns to club drugs which turn to opiates and he's just a shell of a human at this point.

I think there's beauty in the rise from your lowest low to your highest high (not a drug high, just happiness). Law needs a reason to stay. Luffy becomes that reason, someone who understands him, who he almost hates in a way because he was able to pull himself out of the trenches when Law couldn't. Law decides to get clean once he wakes up in the hospital, deciding to give life one last try before he calls it quits for good. Luffy declares he's going to be there for him every step of the way and after some thought, Law lets him only because he knows can't be alone anymore. He'll use Luffy as a crutch he clearly needs until he's fulfilled his purpose, and then he'll just dispose of him.

He's shocked to find that Luffy is just a good person, unlike anyone he's ever encountered. Sure, he's pretty brutally honest, almost chastising Law for not even trying to move on but he's totally right, Law never did try, he just gave up. He has this way of somehow just knowing how Law is feeling even without him saying a word. He brings him gifts in few days he's in the hospital, cleans his apartment that had fallen into an absolute shit hole while Law was an addict, and when Law comes home he basically just moves in even though he only lives down the hall. He doesn't want Law to be alone, to fall back into his addiction. He introduces him to his friends and is active in his treatment even going to his first NA meeting with him so he doesn't have to go by himself.

He's exactly Law's type and he's maddeningly charming, openly affectionate and flirtatious right off the bat which just confuses Law. He convinces himself that it's just the kind of person Luffy is, some people are just like that but there's no way he's actually attracted to him... right? He's still down horrendous for him from the very start though, and Luffy doesn't make this any better, sending him shirtless pictures of him and little flirty messages like 'wish you were here ;)'. (Law's a degen and Luffy is totally aware of what he's doing but he just likes Law and wants him to know it).

Their strange friendship grows and evolves while Law deals with the harsh reality of what it means for him to be sober. One day Luffy kisses him, things get intense and Law is fucking TERRIFIED. He can't care about someone again, can't watch them die like everyone else and know it's all his fault. He pushes Luffy away but he won't go. He loves Law and he's going to do anything it takes to make sure Law accepts that fucking love. He does, of course. He's wanted this from the beginning but he was just too scared of what it would mean to love someone for the first time, to admit it aloud. Law overcomes his addiction, begins to process his losses, and Luffy becomes his Reason to Stay.

(If you don't care about my personal shit feel free to stop here and enjoy this random summary headcanon thing I unintentionally wrote. This is just this week's episode of me oversharing but maybe it'll help someone who has been in similar situations idk.) I decided to write this story for purely personal reasons. About 7 years ago the person I was dating was an addict and although I did everything I could to try and get them the help they desperately needed after I saved them from overdosing the first time, but it wasn't enough and they ended up dying a few months later. I was also doing various drugs at the time, though only recreationally, and was thankfully able to stop after seeing what it did to the people around me. However, this death fucked me up and I blamed myself to the point it drove me to become an alcoholic just to help cope with the pain. Things are much better now and it took many years but I've finally been able to process everything. Writing is therapeutic for me and I always wanted to write a story about addiction and loss but I wasn't sure how it would do it. I guess I found it now?

At the end of the day, I wasn't enough of a reason for that person to stay but what if there was a world where someone was? I wanted to explore that concept with my favorite ship and somehow this beast was created in my fucked up little head. I'm looking forward to the very fulfilling and heart-warming journey of Law healing and falling in love with our favorite loyal puppy dog Luffy :)

#before you say ANOTHER story? yes. another story. i have problems. #it's staying in the drafts for awhile though #needs time to marinate #was just frothing at the mouth to talk about it #lawlu #lulaw #lawlu fanfiction #yo to the like 2 people who read this #honestly this post is just for me to remember wtf my plans are with this story

[sonderastrology]

Astrology Culture - Venus Signs

Aries Venus:

🌹Upfront and bold about feelings - not afraid to “shoot their shot”

🌹Aries Venuses are huge support systems; even if they don't understand, they will still be there for you and listen

🌹High energy beings physically and/or mentally - people who can’t stay still for too long, always onto the next topic or lover

🌹Probably work out a lot and/or naturally strong and defined

🌹A sense of style to die for and a sense of humor to match

🌹Impulsive and feisty lil bitches 

🌹Intense eyes and sexy eye contact

🌹Outgoing and bubbly for the most part, this placement find it easy to socialize

Taurus Venus:

🌱Fall for physically beautiful people

🌱Controlling.,.,!

🌱Fear of abandonment x12

🌱BUT, these people are so loyal, supportive, reliable (like Leo Venus but less fiery and more down to earth)

🌱When taurus venus is single, they’re flirtatious and love to socialize/party/go out

🌱When taurus venus is in a relationship, they would much rather stick to dinner dates and hang out at home

🌱Will fight you if you mess with their friends and esp their family

🌱Ask these people for restaurant recommendations!!! they know what's up when it comes to good food 

🌱These people know their worth so don’t try fucking them over or treating them like shit!

Gemini Venus:

🦋Friendzones everyone but hates being friendzoned

🦋They don’t flirt with everyone; they’re just hot and like to talk 

🦋Shows off infront of a crowd

🦋Gemini Venuses get bored fasssst 

🦋When these people are in a relationship, its usually for long periods of time

🦋Hard to pin these people down

🦋Many hobbies that they're actually great at

🦋Good at being friends with benefits

Cancer Venus:

🦀CEO of “I’m baby” 

🦀This placement lovesss makeup/fashion, overall loves looking good

🦀They love the good things in life like Taurus and fall for the physically beautiful ones

🦀You get hurt cause you care way too much

🦀Will go out for amdrive just to blare sad music and calls it therapy

🦀I’ve noticed cancer venus has a hard time with love :((( poor babies

🦀Moody crab

🦀Gives level headed advice to people but does psycho shit themselves

Leo Venus:

YAASS MS. LEO VENUS! WORK!

☀️Ride or die type

☀️Jealous and possessive in relationships

☀️Leo venus are actually more homebodies, but when they go out, they’re the life of the party

☀️Attract people naturally

☀️Distinctive feature; hair, dimples, beautiful eyes, freckles, big smile, something!

☀️When they dress up, they go all out- queens

☀️So naturally beautiful 

☀️Put a lot of time into themselves and hobbies

Virgo Venus: 

🐢Their shy and seem emotionless around their crushes but they're freaking out on the inside

🐢Hard time communicating emotions, more into acts of service

🐢Freaks! in! the! Sheets!

🐢Neat and clean 

🐢Their style is simple and elegant, probably loves jewelry

🐢Don’t forget anything but they forgive easily because theyre understanding

🐢It hurts them to leave people, but it hurts the people being left a million times more - it takes a lot of hurt for a Virgo to leave someone

🐢Calendars, agendas, to do lists

Libra Venus:

🎀These people are hot asf, something about them is just ooufff

🎀Flirts via texting, snapchat, twitter dm, tinder- all of them

🎀Gigglers

🎀Hi Gossip! How are ya? :)

🎀Their style is trendy, cute, and eye catching!

🎀Definitely artistic asfff

🎀You have to be interesting, confident, and different to get a libra venus to love you

🎀These people are really kind and sweet - sometimes it comes off as fake but they just HATE rude people

🎀Most aesthiecally pleasing instagram accounts

Scorpio venus:

🧿They will stare at you

🧿Will make the first move if you’re taking too long

🧿Get addicted to people and things easily

🧿Love love music

🧿Loners 

🧿Scorpio Venuses will keep your darkest secrets safe and will always be there for you no matter what!

🧿Ride or die

🧿Tendency to stalk and obsess over their exes social media pages 

Sagittarius Venus:

☄️Late bloomers 

☄️Never really grow up, but they’re fun asf and always looking to do something fun

☄️Goes on vacation to DO THINGS- hike, skydive, tour museums, etc ... not a resorty type

☄️Music taste to die for, best at playlist making

☄️SOOOO funny 

☄️Reckless and do crazy things for attention

☄️Skater vibe

☄️Luck at extremes- very unlucky then very very lucky 

Capricorn Venus:

🪐Daddy issues of some kind

🪐Won’t say I love you first and won't say it for awhile

🪐Work and money oriented

🪐Acts of service typa love like virgo venus

🪐Low sex drive but when they’re up for it, they’re freakkkkyyyy

🪐Likes to dress in dark colors; cranberry, army green, navy blue

🪐Mysterious and hard to know fully

🪐Will have the same crush for years and years

Aquarius Venus:

💎Falls inlove with their best friends

💎Probably hates spending time with their loved one’s family

💎Difficult relationship with parents, they like to rebell and be independent

💎Knows so much about every thing, and loves learning about things

💎 “I think they're copying me”

💎Can be mean/cold but don’t realize it

💎Anxietyyyy from a young age esp socially

💎Very very smart but most of the time not academically - they hate structured environments

Pisces Venus:

👣Sleeps with the same stuffed animal they’ve had since they were born

👣Has pets and connects with animals deeply

👣They aren’t stupid, they’re just dissociating! 

👣Forgets what they’re saying in the middle of a sentence

👣Highly attuned beings, psychic powers

👣They fall in and out of love 5 times a day

👣Gives people the benefit of the doubt, always

#astrology #venus signs #astro notes #astrology culture #aries #taurus #gemini #cancer #leo #virgo #libra #scorpio #Sagittarius #capricorn #aquarius #pisces #venus

[kpop---scenarios]

Bound To You

Commissioned by: @skittlez-area512

Genre: Mafia! Arranged Marriage! AU

Warning: Smut, Launguage

Word Count: 5.7k

If you had the slightest choice of the family you were born into, you absolutely would not have picked the one you got. 

Growing up your father drank, alot. He yelled constantly, always slapping your mother when she politely asked him to keep quiet as he was scaring the children. 

"Fuck them kids." Was his response. Your father never told you he loved you, never told you he was proud of you for graduating top of your class in highschool despite him being such a piece of shit. As stupid as it sounded, and as much as you hated the man, you wanted the validation from him. You wanted to know if he had any kind of bond with you, even the smallest. 

But that never came. The only time he was even remotely nice was when he needed something. When they were out of money and you were working so you had to support his drinking and gambling addictions, or he'd raise his hand to you. Your brother, who was 4 years older than you also still lived at home. He did his best to protect you and your mother from your father's fists but he worked a lot. He was responsible for paying the bills since your father refused to work, and wouldn't allow your mother to work, because in his mind she would cheat on him. 

You hated it here, but even at the age of 23, you couldn't leave. Even when he hit you, you couldn't leave your mother alone with him. Your father would kill her. There was no doubt in your mind. 

You sat on the couch, the house was quiet. You could hear your mother weeping in the kitchen, your father nowhere to be found. He had freaked out on everyone, slapping your mother before taking off out the front door. 

His absence was extremely welcomed.  You turn your head focusing on the show playing on the TV, when you hear yelling outside, that seemed to be coming closer. The front door of your house swung open, your dad being shoved to the floor of the entrance. 

"Where is she?" A voice snaps. 

"Ayn! Get over here!" Your father spits from the floor. Slowly you rise from the couch, reaching for your mother who came from the kitchen."Ayn!" He yells again. 

"What?" You snap, standing above the drunk man. 

"This is her." He huffs. 

You look over to the large men accompanying your father,  who are now looking at you carefully. 

"Will he approve." A deep voice says. "Taeyang, grab her." The man says. 

"Thank you! Thank you!" Your father gravels at the man's feet.

"Your debt is cleared. Do not return." He snaps, leaving  To walk out the door. The other man grabs your arm tightly, Yanking you towards him following the other man of the door. 

"What the hell are you doing!?" You snap, trying to fight the man off.

"You didn't warn her?" Taeyang scoffs. 

"Why should I? Useless bitch." Your father laughs. 

Without hesitation, the tall man swiftly kicks your father in the stomach, resulting in the sound of ribs crunching. 

"Your father sold you to Kwon Jiyong, to pay off his gambling debts." He tells you. "You will marry Jiyong in one month." 

"Do I not get a say!? This isn't even his life! It's mine! You can't use me as your payment!" You scream. 

"I can and I did." Your father coughs. "Take her." 

The man throws you over this shoulder, knowing you wouldn't go easily. You fought as hard as you could, but it didn't work. You were stuck, your fate was unknown and you were terrified. The door shut behind you, and all you could hear were the sobs and pleas of your distraught mother fading away as you're put into a van and taken away. 

"Please don’t kill me." You sob. You just knew that was your fate, and absolutely something your father would do. The wedding they had mentioned earlier couldn't actually be true. 

"What?" Taeyang laughs. "You're not dying."

"Although, you will probably wish you were dead." One mumbles. 

"I mean you're not wrong, Daesung." Taeyang smirks.

"Enough. You know GD has microphones in here." The tall one snaps. 

"Right." They both sigh. 

"But I can't actually get married." You scoff. 

"You are. One month." Daesung says. 

"I'm only 23! I haven't even had my first love yet! I wanted to travel and do so much." You cry. 

None of the three men say anything as the van pulls into a gravel driveway, stopping in front of probably the biggest house you had ever seen. 

Taeyang pulls you from the back of the van, holding onto your tied hands behind you back, guiding you inside. 

You walk through a grand entrance, painting littering the walls, sculptures against the walls. It smells of stale cigars and whiskey as you walk deeper into the house, passing through a nosy living room before stopping in front of a pair of grand double doors. 

Daesung pushes the doors open, revealing a man standing there, his back facing you. 

"She's here boss." The tall one says. 

"Thank you, TOP." He snickers, turning around. 

You had never seen someone as beautiful as the man who stood before you. He was wearing a dark blue suit, a neck tattoo visible. His fingers held a few rings, while his face was just.. perfect. 

"She'll do." He says, smirking at you. "Take her to her room." He finishes, turning back around. 

If that was who you were marrying, maybe this wouldn't be too bad. 

Oh how you were so wrong.

That night he lay in your bed, in an unfamiliar room, your eyes staring at the ceiling as the events of that day flooded through your head. You wanted to know what exactly was going on and none of his men would tell you anything. They just tell you to wait for Jiyong, but when was that going to be? 

 Taking the initiative you get out of your bed and open the large door leading to a hallway.  Quietly you sneak down the staircase heading towards the double doors you had stood in front of earlier. Taking a deep breath, you gently place your hand on the door knob Quietly turning it until you slightly pull the door open, without a sound.  You peak your head inside, a gasp coming from your mouth without thinking about it. 

You see a sweaty Jiyong, his hands gripped on a woman's hips as he harshly pounds into her, moans slipping from her mouth. With your eyes wide you look away, closing the door before you're caught, tiptoing back to your room, feeling quite dumb. You had wanted to talk to him, but you seem to forget what type of man he was. He's a mafia boss, the most ruthless. You needed to just stay in the shadows unless asked for or spoken too. Much like living in your parents house. Not to be seen or heard. 

You fell asleep that night actually sort of missing your house, mostly just your mom. 

It was a few days before you actually saw Jiyong, mostly just hangout in your room, with meals being brought to you until he returned from wherever he was. 

** 

One morning, you're woken up to the sound of clapping. It was a struggle to open your eyes, but when you did you saw Jiyong standing there, looking good in a tight fitted suit. 

"Did you enjoy the show last night?" He asks, cocking his head to the side. 

"I.. uh.. what?" You ask, not sure if you should just fess up to what you had witnessed. 

"I know you saw. I'm asking if you enjoyed it. Yes or no, that's not a hard question to answer." He says. 

You get up, swinging your legs over the edge of your bed, your head hanging low. 

"Im sorry. I just had some questions. I didn't see much." You whisper. 

"I have nothing to hide." He smirks. "Anyways, that's not why I'm here. I'm here because of this." He pauses, pointing up and down your body. "Is not going to work." 

"Kim." He calls out. A woman walks in, her face serious as she pulls you off your bed, standing you in front of them both, before forcing off the large t-shirt you slept in that night. 

You stand there, stunned as they circle you, talking to each other about what needs work and what will do. 

"Hair cut and colour, make up. Body is fine. Do something with those nails." Jiyong says. "Have her ready for the engagement party. Tonight." He says, walking out of the room. 

"Lets go." She says, pulling your arm towards the door. 

"Um. Can I put on clothes first?" You ask, looking down at your bra and panties. 

"Oh. Sure." She says, letting go. 

You go to your closet, picking out the easiest thing to put on, a sundress, already dreading what the day had in store for you. 

** 

Five hours later, you tiredly walked into your room, looking at a person in the mirror you didn't even recognize. Your hair was completely different, you never actually envisioned yourself with that colour. Your skin was glowing after being pummeled and smoothed, the smell you radiated reminded you of a bakery your mother used to take you too. 

The glow you had was hard to miss, but you kind of liked it. You smiled at yourself, but we're almost blinded by the whiteness of your teeth, it was almost too much. Your stomach drops, you don't know who this person standing before you is. You try anything to make yourself feel like yourself, but it doesn't work. This was your life now. You had appearances to keep up, better get used to it now. 

You hear a knock at your door before it opens immediately after. "Miss." A man calls out. "You have 20 minutes until it's time to go." He says, making you remember that tonight was the night you announce your engagement to everyone Jiyong knows. 

With a forced smile on your face you slip into the strapless dark satin dress that hugged your curves, as well as showed off your legs with a long slit up the sides. You stared at yourself in the mirror, in a dress that was the most flattering thing you had ever seen yourself in. You may not know who you were, but damn you looked good. 

You slid on your heels, strapping them on before heading out the door, meeting one of Jiyong's men outside your door. 

"He's waiting at the bottom of the stairs." He tells you. 

Without a word, you take a step down, heading towards your fiance that you knew nothing about. 

You see him standing there, adjusting the cuffs of his suit before looking up, a small smile crossing his face before it goes back straight. 

"That looks much better. You look good." He says, walking away leaving you trailing behind him. 

"Thanks." You whisper, rolling your eyes. 

** 

The entire car ride to the party was spent with Jiyong telling you what not to say, so when you finally pulled up to the venue, you were more than ready to get out and talk to anyone else. But before you could go in, he handed you a beautiful and large diamond ring to slide onto your ring finger for your engagement ring. 

You walked into the grand building, everything was so elegant. Waiters circled the floor with the most expensive champagne, waitresses with finger foods, the ceiling sparkled from the chandelier and the lights, gentle music played in the corner of the room. 

It truly was beautiful. 

However, you didn't get to take a lot of time to take it all in. Within seconds there were people coming up to you and Jiyong, introducing themselves, asking to see your ring and how the wedding planning was going. It was all a lot to take in. 

"Excuse me." You smile at the people who circled you and Jiyong, whispering in his ear that you were going to go to the bathroom. 

You needed a few minutes to yourself, to calm down and ease your anxiety. This was just a lot. 

When you finished in the bathroom, you were making your way back to Jiyong when you were stopped by a man. 

"Hello there beautiful." He says, stepping in front of you. 

"Hello." You respond with a small smile. 

"My my my, just how did Mr. Kwon pull someone like you?" He asks. 

"I'm sorry?" 

"I just want to know how he managed to get someone like you? You look like you'd be a much better fit for someone like, oh I don't know, me." He smirks, reaching over to touch your arm. 

"Isn't that a shame, Jackson that she is in fact mine, and not yours." Jiyong spits, walking over to stand beside you. He effortlessly slides his arm around your waist, pulling you in close. 

"Ahh, I suppose. But she could be mine. If she so chose." Jackson winks. 

"I'll pass." You smile. "I'm happy where I am." 

"You sure, sweetheart? I could make you happier." He offers. 

"I don't think you could." You say, turning your head to give Jiyong a kiss on the cheek. 

"I believe the lady has spoken." Jiyong says, clearing his throat. He had not been expecting that from you, but he liked it. 

You give Jackson a small smile before Jiyong guides you away, placing his glass down on the bar before you and he exited the building before getting in his car. The ride was silent, you spent most of it playing with your fingers with your head down, not knowing what you should say or if you should say anything. Jiyong kept one hand locked on the steering wheel, staring straight at the road, but the one thing you noticed was that his knuckles were white as he gripped the wheel hard. Something had made him mad, but what? 

When the two of you arrived back at the house, Jiyong stormed from the car and towards the house before stopping in his tracks. 

"Don't get it twisted." He began. "I don't fucking want you, but you're still mine and I don't share." He spits before going into the house, heading to his office and slamming the door. You stood outside the door for a few minutes, debating on whether you should knock or not when you heard him yelling. 

"Don't you ever disrespect me like that again!" You hear him yell. "I'll pull all my fucking connections from your crew Jackson, don't fucking test me." He snaps before slamming down the phone. 

**

Over the next few days, you had spent your time wandering around, reading, watching shows, but also getting close to some of his men. Specifically Taeyang and Daesung. They made you laugh so often, sometimes you'd catch Jiyong staring at you as you laughed, or watching you when you walked past him. You tried not to over analyze it but your brain couldn't help it. This was the man you now had to spend your life with, you wanted him to feel something, anything. 

** 

The night before the wedding, you couldn't sleep. You were terrified to get married to a mafia leader, especially one as terrifying as Jiyong. You had heard the rumors of what he had done and what he was capable of and part of you was scared that if you did anything to make him mad, he would make you disappear. 

Tired of tossing and turning, you got out of your bed, going to look at the backyard that had been set up for your wedding. The lights, the flowers, decorations, the way the chairs were set up, everything looked beautiful. If you had been marrying a man you loved you would have felt giddy and excited for this but instead you were nervous. 

"Looks good, doesn't it?" You hear from behind you. 

Turning your head, you see Daesung standing there, with his arms crossed. 

"It's beautiful." You whisper.

"You should get some sleep. You've got a long day tomorrow." He says, nodding his head towards the door. 

"I know." You sigh, heading back in with him trailing you. 

"Try to get some sleep." He says, standing at the bottom of the stairs, right across from Jiyong's office. Before you could say anything or go upstairs, you hear a female giggle from inside his office. 

"Aren't you getting married tomorrow?" You hear the girl ask. 

"Yeah, but it's strictly for business. Bitch means nothing to me." You hear Jiyong say before the woman giggles again. 

"Ayn.." Daesung starts but you don't stick around yo hear anymore. You run up the stairs, slamming the door to your room before crawling into your bed. 

This life was going to be hell. 

** 

You fought back tears the entire day of your wedding. You held them back while your shitty father walked you down the aisle to the man who wanted nothing to do with you. 

You held them back as you were announced man and wife by the minister, and Jiyong pulled you in for a kiss while everyone cheered. 

You held them back as the DJ announced Mr. And Mrs. Kwon Jiyong, and your first dance as a married couple. 

You barely touched your food, your smile was forced during pictures, especially the ones with Jiyong. You knew you could see the sadness and hurt in your eyes but everyone chose to ignore it. 

"What's your issue?" Your father asks during the forced father and daughter dance. 

"I didn't want this." You growl through your teeth. 

"Be grateful anyone wants you, but especially a man like him? You should be worshipping me for doing this for you." He spits. 

"Im in this shitty situation because of you! Like hell I'd ever thank you." 

"Ungrateful little fucking brat." Your father sneers. 

"Im done." You say, ripping your hands from his grip before walking away, even though you still had more than half the song to go. 

"You okay?" Daesung asks, sitting beside you at your table while Jiyong mingled. 

"I guess. Shitty husband, shitty father, shitty life. It is what it is." You sigh, watching Jiyong walk over to you with a smile and his hand held out for you, wanting you to dance. 

"My wife." He smiles. You force a smile, placing your hand in his, letting him lead you to the dance floor but you knew it was just for appearances. On what should be your special wedding night, you knew he would likely end up with his dick in someone else, like usual. 

As the night came to an end, you were exhausted as you crawled into your new bed. Now that you were married you had to keep up appearances, according to Jiyong. He has moved you into his room now, incase of any surprise visits or anything. Nothing could look suspicious, or not like the two of you weren't actually married. 

As you rolled over to face the wall, you felt the bed dip beside you. Honestly, you had expected him to work in his office or do whatever, but definitely not come to bed. 

When you woke up the next morning, he was gone, not really a surprise to you. However, what was a surprise was that for the next week, he ended up in bed with you either when you went to bed or a little bit later. He never said anything to you, just crawled in and went to sleep but a part of you liked it. You enjoyed having someone to sleep next too. 

** 

A few weeks later, you said good night to Taeyang and Daesung, giving Jiyong a small smile before heading for the stairs. Your heart fluttered when you looked at him. As much as you tried to stop it, you fell for him and you hated yourself for doing so. It was a little earlier than you normally went to bed but you were bored. 

"Wait." Jiyong calls out. "Where are you going?" He asks. "Not to bed right?" 

"Um, well yeah, I was planning on going to bed." You say, avoiding eye contact. 

"We have that opening. You have to get ready." He says. 

Fuck. Taeyang had told you about it weeks ago and it had totally slipped your mind. "Right." You sigh. "I'll get ready quickly." You say, running up the stairs. 

You finished your makeup in record time, opting for a subtle but dark look to go along with your short dark dress with a slit up the side. You quickly slip on a pair of heels before descending down the staircase where you hear a small "wow" slip from Jiyongs lips. A smile quickly washes over you before it disappears, not wanting him to know you heard that. 

You walk with Jiyong to the car, where he opens the door for you, allowing you to slide in before he goes around to the drivers side, taking off quickly. 

"I have a meeting when we get there at first." He explains. "Say your name at the bar and he won't charge you, just hangout for a bit until I'm done and then I'll come get you." He says, giving you a small smile. 

You nod your head, letting him know you understand as your stomach fills with butterflies.

**

Jiyong gives you a small wave as he walks away from you, leaving you in a crowded club by yourself. You walk over to the bar, ordering a few shots before giving him your name. 

"Under Kwon Ayn." You say, slightly enjoying the look of terror on his face when he realized who your husband was. 

The man gave you your four shots of tequila, which you took all in a row, standing there for a minute while the liquor worked its magic. Just as you felt it kick in, one of your favorite songs began playing, drawing you out to the dance floor. Without any hesitation you walked to the dance floor and began moving your hips, swaying to the beat of the song. 

It didn't take long for you tk feel a pair of hands grip your hips and someone to push themselves against you. Honestly, you had thought it was Jiyong, but when you leaned your head back and you saw it was a man you had never seen before. You felt your body tense up as you tried to move away from him but his grip tightened, not letting you leave. 

"What's the rush, baby?" He whispers in your ear. Maybe it was the tequila, or maybe it was the fact that your husband didn't want you, but it felt nice to be touched, to be wanted. You wanted someone, you had needs too that weren't being met. 

You turned around, sliding your arms around his neck, whispering in his ear. "Im Ayn." 

"Suho." He beams, pulling you in closer. 

For the next few minutes, you couldn't help the giant smile that was plastered on your face as you and Suho danced, while he whispered in your ear. It felt nice to have someone be close with you and make you feel things and want you. You were tired of your one sided love, it was nice to have some sort of feeling returned. 

It was nice while it lasted. You happened to look up, the smile on your face fading as you saw Jiyong staring at you with Suho, his fists squeezed into balls at his sides while his face looked right pissed. 

You quickly try to pull away from Suho but he just laughs, and pulls you in closer. Your eyes widen as you watch Jiyong walk down the stairs, pushing his way through the crowd until he stands behind Suho. He taps him on the shoulder, and Suho turns around. When he does, Jiyong's fist immediately connects with Suho's face, knocking him to the ground. 

"Get your fucking hands off my wife." He spits, grabbing your wrist, pulling you towards the bathroom. 

Jiyong pulls you into the men's bathroom, closing the door behind you. "What the fuck was that?" He spits. 

"It was nice to be touched." You say, shrugging your shoulders. "A girl has needs too, you know." You say, that fucking tequila making you braver than you've ever been. 

"And what kind of needs do you have?" He asks, walking closer to you until you're pinned against the door. 

"I need to be touched, and wanted.. fucked." You breathe, Jiyong's face inches closer to yours. His hands reach down to touch your thighs, slipping his fingers under your dress as you spread your legs slightly for him.

“Touched like this?" He asks, gliding his fingers across your clothed pussy.

You shudder at the feeling, your knees buckling. Jiyong grabs your hand,  bringing you to the counter where he puts his hands on your hips, helping you hop onto the counter. Uoj spread your legs causing your dress to ride up. He pulls you closer to the edge before moving your dress up fully and out of his way as he groans at the sight of your already dripping pussy. 

Jiyong spreads your lips with his fingers, leaning forward to give you a few kitten licks on your clit, just light enough to tease the fuck out of you. 

You let out a small gasp. "More. Please" you beg. The second those words left your mouth, Jiyong quickly dived in, licking you all the way up with the flat of his tongue, moving it up and down. Your hands grip the edge of the counter tightly, your knuckles turning white. Jiyong's hands hold onto your thighs as he suctions his lips directly around your clit, sucking harshly, making you grind yourself on hks face. 

"I'm.. shit. I'm gonna cum." You cry, circling your hips as your orgasm washes through your body. 

“This is going to have to be quick baby" Jiyong smirks, standing up and unbuckling his belt, while you have a few seconds to recover. He slides down his pants just enough to allow his cock to spring free. Your mouth waters at the sight of it, his thick, large cock dripping pre cum already. 

“Please fuck me." You groan, spreading your legs more. Jiyong lines himself up with your entrance, ramming his cock inside of you, making you scream. He quickly pulls back out and thrusts back in, giving you no time to adjust to jis large size. 

"Yeah baby, let everyone know you're mine. Who's making you scream." He grunts as he thrusts himself in and out of you. 

Jiyong had himself angled at the perfect position to be able to have your clit rub up against him as he fucked you on the counter. Your tits had fallen out of your strapless dress, making Jiyong lean forward, taking one in his mouth, sucking on it while never slowing his pace. 

“You gonna cum again?" he breathes. His words build your orgasm, the knot getting tighter and tighter with every harsh thrust.

“Fuck." You cry out, grabbing onto your breast, squeezing as your eyes roll back into your head, the sensation of your second orgasm overwhelming. 

“Cum in my pussy." You cry out, wanting to feel him fill you up with his juice. 

Second later, Jiyong grunts as he releases himself into you, coating your walls with his cum. He pulls himself out of you, pulling his pants up before helping you off the counter. 

"Let's get you home and clean up." He murmurs, taking your hand and leading you through the club where you tried to avoid many looks from people who definitely knew what you had just done in there. 

The ride home was quiet. You had a million things you wanted to ask hkm, like what did that mean but you chose to stay silent. You didn't want to ruin the high of your very good mood, in case the conversation didn't go the way you were hoping it would. 

After you got home and took a shower, you crawled into bed next to Jiyong who was facing your way instead of out into the room. You laid down, facing him, your eye closed, not wanting to look at him. 

"Listen.." je begins. You open your eyes. 

"I get it. You don't have to say anything. That was a one time thing. It's fine." You whisper. 

"What? Why do you think it's only a one time thing?" He asks. 

"I overheard you the night before our wedding." You breathe. "Bitch means nothing to me." You quote. 

"That was then. This is now. Over the last few weeks of watching you, being near you, your energy, your smile, everything about you, I'm falling. Hard." He tells you. "Look at me." 

You open your eyes, looming into jis pleading eyes. He wants you to believe him, to see that he's telling you the truth. 

"I am too." You whisper, a smile creeping up on your face. 

That night you fell asleep embraced in Jiyong's arms, finally everything felt like it was going to be okay. But that's just life isn't it? Making you believe things are finally working out when in reality, everything is about to fall apart. 

The next morning you woke up and stretched while Jiyong's hold on you tightened. 

"Good morning." You whisper. 

"Mhmm." He answers, reaching under your shirt to cup your breast. "Yes it is." 

You stick out your ass into his crotch, his hard cock poking you. "Tease." He moans. 

"Me? I never." You gasp, wiggling from his grip. You roll him onto his back, pull the covers from jkm before you pull his boxers down and you allow his morning wood to spring free. 

You move yourself between his legs, gripping his shaft with your one hand before opening your mouth and wrapping it afound hks cocm. 

"Oh god." He moans, his hands resting behind his head. 

You bob your head up and down, sucking harshly while also moving your tongue around the tip of his cock, making him moan.

"Fuck that feels amazing." He groans as you cup his balls, gently playing with them. 

You force yourself down as far as you can, his cock sliding down your throat. "Please ride me." He moans, bucking his hips. 

You let go of his cocm with a pop, getting up and standing over him. You bunch up the bottom of your shirt, as you lower yourself down, sinking down onto his cock. 

"Oh my god." You cry as he stretches you out. Without any hesitation you begin bouncing on his cock, your hands resting on his chest. He brings his hands to your sides, moving your hips to go back and forward. 

"Shit baby." He groans, moving you faster on his cock. You slow down the pace, dragging yourself against him, rubbing your clit against him, building your orgasm faster. 

You lean yourself forward, bouncing hard on him, craving orgasm, needing to feel it spread through your body again. 

"Cum for me." He moans, his hands still on your hips, now helping you move faster. 

"I'm gonna.." you begin before your orgasm hits, making your body shudder as your eyes roll bzcl. Jiyong keeps his hands on your hips, keeling your bouncing on his cock as he chases his orgasm while you ride through your high. 

"That's it baby." He grunts, moving you faster. "Just like that.. just like.. ahhh." Hr yells out, his cum spitting inside of you. 

"Shower?" He asks, helping you slide off his cock. A small giggle escapes from your lips as you nod your head, making your way to the shower before him. 

**

A few hours later while Jiyong, Taeyang and Daesung had business to attend to, you relaxed on the couch with a good book when your cell phone rang. Looking at the contact you saw it was your mother and you knew she never called unless it was an emergency. 

"Hello?" You answer. 

"Ayn.. please.. help." She whispers into the phone sounding terrified. "Please." She begs before the line goes dead. 

Without a second thought you snuck into Jiyong's office and grabbed the first pair of keys you saw, before speaking to the garage without alerting T.O.P. You couldng risk him coming along and something happening. You got in the car and started it before opening the garage door, speeding out of there as soon as you could, leaving T.O.P behind who had pulled out his phone, no doubt to call Jiyong. 

Forty-five minutes later you made it to your old house, taking the keys from the car you quickly ran inside the house, which was far too quiet for your liking. 

"Mom?" You call out. 

You can hear her whimpering from the kitchen. You go there and see her huddled on the floor, her head in her hands. 

"Mom. Are you okay?" You ask, walking towards her. 

"Im sorry Ayn.. i'm so sorry." She whispers. 

"Sorry for what.." before you can complete your sentence you are grabbed from behind, and taken outside by two men you had never seen. You see your father standing there, a smile on his face. 

"What the hell!" You yell trying to struggle out of the grip of the men. 

"You are his now." Your father says. "He paid me a lot of money for you." He chuckles. 

"What? You already gave me to Jiyong to settle your debt." You say. 

"Yes and now he wants you and already paid a large sum, so you're his." He says. 

"Who is he!? Let me go!" You yell. 

"Hello beautiful." You hear. Looking up you see Suho standing there with his head cocked to the side and a smile on his face. 

"You." You breathe. "Please let me go." You beg. 

"Nah. I wasn't too impressed with your husband last night and now your father has so graciously sold you to me. So you're mine now." He smirks, nodding his head to the side. The men who were holding you, take you to the van, tossing you in there without a care while your father ignores your pleas for help and walks back into his house. The van drives off, leaving you crying, banging on the window begging for someone to save you, hoping Jiyong would save you.

#kwon jiyong smut #jiyong fanfic #jiyong scenarios #jiyong smut #jiyong mafia #mafia au #big bang mafia #big bang fanfic #g dragon #g dragon smut #g dragon mafia #kpop fanfic #kpop #kpop scenarios #kpop icons #kpop writing #kpop imagines

[blkpnkwriting]

first time | sadism/masochism | gags | baths

jennie x f!reader

NOTE: this is a little longer than the rest will mostly likely be because i wanted to honour the request someone made literally years ago for jennie x reader first time (i.e. i’m the worst)

Red splashed up the far wall of your bedroom, crawled over the carpet as Jennie switched on the small light source. So, it was a lava lamp. Someone sue you, you liked having it as a lamp even if it wasn’t the 90’s anymore. But there you went overreacting to the littlest thing again, and a lava lamp was the least of your worries. The clock read a late hour, but not late enough to condone Jennie facing back to you in evident puzzlement. Since the pair of you had left the house party, you could barely string enough words together through the muddle of your brain to explain why you had to leave. You just did.

“Are you okay?” the brunette asked, shrugging off the fur bomber jacket she wore against the nip of night air. Underneath was a sheer top that soaked up the ebbing glow of the lamp with an eerie crimson aura. The juxtaposition between the ominous light and the concern etched on her face was only furthering your confusion.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m good! I — well, I just… forget it.” It came forth as a scramble of syllables. You were pacing, running a hand through your hair and deciding it was best you took something off, too. Your fingers could barely undo the clasp of your skirt but was stopped when Jennie was suddenly at your side, taking your hand, turning you back to her. Your best friend knew you better than you knew yourself most times, and even if she didn’t, it wasn’t hard for anyone to discern you were downright flustered.

“Was it that girl? The redhead? What did she do — I’m going to ruin her life if she—!”

Jennie was on the right path, but leave it to her to jump to conclusions, hand squeezing yours protectively.

“No, no! It wasn’t like that…” You interrupted. You were going to have to explain the tangle of emotions if you wanted her to relax. And you did owe her an explanation for blanching abruptly and dragging her out of the building before either of you had finished your first cocktail. Now, you could feel it filtering out of your system, eased on by the anxiety pushing your blood faster through your heart. “She was… nice. Really nice. I think she might’ve even liked me?”

The look on Jennie’s face was cute. Cocking her head, “Why the hell did you run away then?”

You flapped your arms, appearing like a petulant child for a second. Then, “I don’t know what I’m doing!”

Jennie glanced around the dim room before landing her eyes back on you. “You’re in your room, talking to me?” A hand met your cheek. “Are you feeling alright? How much did you drink?”

“I’ve never had sex, Jennie!” You blurted out. It came with a heavy pant. Honestly, you could’ve done better explaining it with less simple terms, but it was the truth and it was out. Not like it was shocking. Jennie was the first person you told after each time you made out with a stranger in a bathroom or that one boy back in high school under the bleachers. There was no way she would have missed you having sex for the first time somewhere in there. “I don’t know what I’m doing in the bedroom…”

It still surprised Jennie. She blinked, open her mouth. Shut it. Finally, “She wanted to sleep with you?”

“No,” you admitted, sagging slightly. “I could just tell we were clicking and she was putting on the moves. She was interested. And I’m not sure what happened but it just got into my head that it could… lead to that. Sex. And I just sort of panicked.” It was your turn to blink. “Oh my god, I just walked away from her…”

Jennie’s giggle was enough to draw you back to the moment with her. Watching her, you knew the girl at the party didn’t amount to much in your world. Not when so much of it was occupied with your best friend. It wasn’t your typical ‘in love with your straight best friend’ bit, considering Jennie wasn’t exactly straight herself. But there wasn’t a whole lot to base any idea that she felt attracted to you. It wasn’t like you were freaking out about trying to impress Jennie in any bed with your utter lack of experience.

As the thought ran through your head, Jennie seemed to think the opposite. A step closer, she was reaching up to take a lock of your hair and twirl it around her finger. Those eyes, so dark, looked ever deeper as they lifted to catch yours. A cruel grin on her lips. If you didn’t know better, you’d say it was only because she was drunk that she was approaching you like this. Invading your space like this. Making your body vibrate like a magnet as she neared.

“You know,” she started, voice deeper. Sultry. You felt the urge to take a step back but a much stronger yearning kept you rooted to the spot. “We are in a bedroom.”

There was little more you could do than just nod.

“It doesn’t have to mean anything,” she continued. Shapes shifted in the red of the wall, slow, tantalizing. “You can say no to me right here and now, and we’ll pretend that I never said anything at all.”

Bone dry, you couldn’t speak to any sway in the decision. Jennie took that to mean you didn’t quite understand, and in keeping with the theme of complete clarity, she whispered.

“Do you want me to teach you how to fuck?” The hand playing with your hair now rested on your shoulder, fingertips warm and gently kneading the tense muscle there. “Do you want me to show you how to please a woman?”

All you could do was nod.

Something told you in the moment Jennie pressed her lips to yours and sought to make them pliant that she had been looking for this opportunity. It was almost too perfect.

It was a spell, how she kissed you. Made all those meddlesome thoughts and emotions that liked to control the heart disappear. Made your body respond before you could comprehend the way the two of you fitted together. Made time flit by from the second she started to peel your clothes off and you for her. Maybe those montages you saw in films held some measure of truth in the fluidity they portrayed sex. Abruptly kissing and then naked and then—

“On your bed,” Jennie instructed. A tone of voice unlike you ever heard, and had you backing toward the furniture obediently as she kicked off the last article of clothing around her ankle.

Aware that you were nude and about to part from her, that she would be able to see you in all your glory, you suddenly stilled. Nervous. What would she think? You couldn’t compare to some of her past partners, the men and women she’s bedded that she could have easily pulled from fashion magazines. That apprehension started its beady crawl back into your throat.

A gentle touch. Fingers on your chin. Bringing your eyes from the floor to hers again. Still just as excited about the prospect but with a blanket of care.

“You’re beautiful,” she murmured, kissing you again. Reading your thoughts. “I am attracted to you, mind and body.” Tongue lapping at your lip. “You have the power to stop whenever you like.”

As though the words thawed your insides with security of your bond, you broke the kiss and found yourself sinking down to the bed. Looking at Jennie expectantly. It must have been a sight she liked. A smile spread across her lush lips and she placed a hand on your shoulder to ease you back on the sheets. A pause taken to marvel at your form, one that gifted you the ability to do the same of her.

“Have you ever touched yourself?” Jennie inquired, face glowing in the light. It saved her the satisfaction of seeing you blush profusely at the question. Nodding, a hand smoothed up your thigh. “Then I want to begin with something you haven’t had the chance to practice yet.” Slinking upon the bed to level herself with your waist, “It’s better to show than to tell.”

Teeth tickled at your navel. You whimpered, silently chastising yourself for breaking so easily, and could hear Jennie chuckle darkly. Kissing, nipping, licking, she teased at your waist, biting tenderly at your hipbones, licking the invisible line of your waistband. The sensations unraveled low in your stomach, better than anything you could have ever made yourself feel, and she wasn’t even where your fingers had wantonly explored. Chestnut hair brushed over your skin, heightening the act, and when you started to writhe mindlessly did she take that as a sign you were ready. A hand splayed over your hip, holding you still, and then she was drawing lower.

You strangled out a gasp as you felt Jennie lave from your entrance to your bud. It was a good thing she had prepared with the hand on your body for you immediately tried to buck. The idea alone would have been enough, but for Jennie to demonstrate so willingly had you like putty. How did you taste? Did she like it? Or did she just enjoy how you responded? The questions started tallying up in your brain, losing track when she did the same ministration again, and then again, and fuck, again. The sounds of her mouth and you were obscene, the flush on your face a mixture of embarrassment and lust. And she was only picking up momentum. The dips into your folds came faster. Held more pressure. And she paused at your clit, sucking it between her lips, groaning from the den of her chest when a cracked cry fell from your mouth.

You wanted it to last forever. But it felt like no time at all before you were fisting up the sheets and openly moaning, attempting in vain to ride her tongue as she held you below and ate you like she was addicted. Blame laid on the virgin nerves driving you beyond sense. There was no moment wasted to ask what you liked, what she could do better, what more you needed. Jennie was bringing you close to an imperceptible edge composed all of her own and you wanted to fall already. Tossing your head to the side, chest heaving with a great inhale, legs shaking… it was approaching. Oh, you wanted it…

“Jennie!” You gasped out when she departed before finishing the climb. As if you had any jurisdiction to criticize her.

All she did was smirk that damned way that she did.

“Don’t get ahead of yourself, baby,” and the way Jennie said the pet name so casually made you want to keen. “That wasn’t even the main event.”

With surprising strength, Jennie cupped the back of your head and drew you into a kiss. So that’s what you tasted like. An unfamiliar taste but not one unpleasant, and she didn’t seem to mind sharing. Distracted, you complied as she skillfully switched your positions until you broke apart and noted how she was now the one lying on the bed. Jennie was stunning, gentle curves and unobstructed flesh. A shine of the light and you were swallowing a knot to see how wet she had become from the opening act.

Reaching up, Jennie took a spare pillow at the head of the bed and brought it down so that she could fit it under her hips. You watched absently, brain fog too dense to allow any real thoughts to form. The cushion lifted her, and when she spread her legs for you to join her, it exposed more than your dreams dared picture. It was almost comical how your jaw dropped in increments. Hands gripping your hips, you allowed her to usher you closer.

“Put your hands on my knees, baby.” Were you trembling? Doing as instructed, thankful your hands could still, you listened as she continued with, “You can push them apart or up toward me if you need the space.” What was she talking about, so unabashed? You glanced down between your bodies and shuddered. Your cores so close to touching. And to drive home the point, Jennie pulled you tighter.

Stars sparked in your vision as you bumped clumsily together. Despite your copious desire, you could still feel her own hot, wet slick. God, you wanted to be closer, and following her advice, you gently urged her knees further into a fold toward her chest so you could press in earnest against her. Jennie hummed, eyes fluttering shut, hands never leaving your hips as she locked you there.

Eyes still closed and voice breathier, “Start grinding, baby.” You did, sighing out. “Yes, just like that… mmm, that’s good. You’re doing so good.”

The viscosity of the lava lamp trailed over your room, over your bodies as you worked up a rhythm. Abiding Jennie’s every instruction. You tried not to think about the awkward beginning, the uncertainty of what you were doing, what it could mean now that you had both passed a threshold of no returning.

It was easy when Jennie started to lose the ability to speak. Words ceased, coming in intervals of “Faster!” or “Like that, like that…” until they weren’t being spoken at all. At least not coherently. Tuned to her frequency, you began relying on the moans as they came to know what to do, and often found it correlated with what you wanted yourself. Jennie working you as close as she did with her tongue made holding on difficult, because there was no way you were about to finish before she would. Perhaps that had been her goal from the start, but grounding your hips into hers, the only thing that would bring you to that end would be hearing Jennie cry out her own climax.

When the jerk of Jennie’s hips to meet yours started to become unhinged, and the hands bruising your hips slackened with one coming to rest on your lower abdomen, digging nails, did you notice she was about to come. It made your chest tight, panting, beads of sweat running down the rivulet of your spine, and you just had to hold out. Head thrown back, you focused on keeping the pace as Jennie scratched at you, volume rising, whines sharpening and cracking. Then, your name, like she was calling for you. A quake ran the length of your body, and you cried out, unable to stop yourself if you had all the strength in the world.

Dark hair splayed over the sheets, hands scrambling on you for anything to anchor her in reality, Jennie came with nearly enough force to push you off her. You tried to fight it, keep her legs open just long enough to keep rutting until you were both finished. Ribs expanding to accommodate the inhales, Jennie tapered off into deep breaths. When she could manage, she opened unfocused, bleary eyes and smiled wide up at you. You were barely able to hold yourself up, setting her legs down slowly on the bed to stretch after holding the position for so long. Losing contact, you immediately missed the feeling of her against your centre, but couldn’t go another round if you wanted to. The second your high was finished, you were far too sensitive for anything else, and positively a mess.

Jennie didn’t care about the mess. A hiss escaped your teeth at the agony of having her grab your bruised hip again to pull you down onto her body. Sticky, hot, you laid together to catch your breath.

“I don’t think you’re going to have any problems,” Jennie finally said, laughing sheepishly at the end. Now that you were done, Jennie had lost the confident façade and became the mild kitten you had always known her as. It made your head spin.

You couldn’t voice it, even as she hugged you close and played with your hair to drift into sleep, but you weren’t sure you ever wanted to hear another person moan your name that wasn’t Jennie.

#k!nktober #blackpink #TIME TO CHURN OUT DAY 2

[howtosingit]

if ur ok with it can u break down the tarlos huggggg in the lst ep after tk tells evy1 abt his addiction? bc that gd huggggggg i wanna no every thing u think abt it i live for ur love for tarlos theyre just so so cuteeeee

IF I’M OKAY WITH IT?! Anon, I feel like I have been waiting my entire life for this ask. I could literally talk about this hug for the rest of my existence. I would talk about this hug every second of every day if I could and never get tired or bored. This hug has owned my entire heart from the moment that it happened and I can never get enough of it. Brace yourself for this essay, and remember that you asked for it...

Okay, so before I get to the actual hug, I want to talk for a minute about why I love it so much and also how fantastic the scene is that comes before it. I’ll try to keep both of those brief (LOL). If you want to skip to the hug breakdown, I’ll give the sections titles. 

Why I Love This Hug

So, why do I love this hug so much? Honestly, because I never in a million years thought we’d get something like it, and it was a big turning point for me.

I have not been quiet about how disappointing I think season 1 was. Too much Owen being Owen, too much Iris plot (which never interested me for even a single moment, unfortunately), not enough of the other characters - specifically the characters of color - and definitely not enough Tarlos.

Following episode 3, the show established a really frustrating pattern with Tarlos: they either never interacted with one another, or there was a moment of them at the end of an episode where they were in the same place physically but never spoke directly to one another. Frustration doesn’t even begin to describe the Tarlos talking drought between episodes 3 and 10 - and honestly? It’s bad writing. To focus on a ship for 3 episodes, giving them a lot of different nuances and conflict, and then do absolutely nothing with it? Stupid. So, going into the finale, my expectations were low. At that point, I was literally tuning in just to catch a glimpse of Carlos, with the expectation that that was all I would get. I really didn’t think I was going to watch the show after season 1. 

When the finale started with a Tarlos scene, I was honestly very surprised. But, then, of course, it was a “break up” scene, and I was like... well. So much for that. See, I fully expected, based on the trend throughout the later half of the season, that that would be the only Tarlos scene we would get, and that that is how they would end season 1. 

But when that camera cut to Carlos Reyes walking through the station door looking like a modern-day motherf*cking Prince Charming? I cried. I’m not ashamed to admit that. And then WHEN WE GOT THE HUG?! I can honestly still feel my heart pounding in my chest.

The finale didn’t fix everything for me; they still barely talk in their final two scenes. It’s not all perfect. But this hug, this small moment? THAT. IS. PERFECTION. (And I’m gonna go on and on about why in just a minute!)

Framing the Hug

I just want to take another moment here to chat about the entire fire station scene with TK and the team/Carlos because there’s a lot that informs why this hug is so freaking incredible. It has everything to do with the directing choices that were made - and boy were they good ones!

We all probably remember how the scene starts: extreme close-ups on TK as he sits waiting for the crew to come back. He’s anxious and possibly having a mild panic attack, and the camera is used to create that moment. Certain shots are out of focus, the shots that are focused are zoomed in to his mouth/hands/eyes, the sound is distorted, his breathing is isolated. It’s all super effective. 

So the observations that I make about this brief moment are: TK is stationary, the camera is basically attacking him. And TK is alone. Pretend for a moment that the camera is a character. The camera won’t leave him alone. No one is there to help him. His anxiety grows. 

(Even when the team joins him, the camera stays pretty close to him, except for one moment where it backs off but then approaches again. It continues to invade his personal space and his personal moments with his friends and his dad.)

Now, compare that to how the scene ends: TK walks away from the camera, the camera doesn’t follow him. It gives him space. His interaction with Carlos happens in the distance. If the camera is a character, TK defeated that character. He leaves it there, it no longer threatens him. I just really like that visual storytelling; that through the 4 minute scene, TK not only faces his demons, speaks his truth, and conquers his anxiety but he beats the camera and goes off to hug Carlos untethered. (He even bounces towards him, but we’ll get to that in a minute.) That doesn’t really have anything to do with the hug specifically, but I thought it was interesting anyway.

The other comparison that I want to make is a simple one, but it’s another reason why I love the hug: TK initiates it. He doesn’t initiate the group hug with his team (he actually almost says “we don’t have to do that” when Mateo moves towards him), though he obviously enjoys it. Owen initiates their hug, flinging himself at his son, and TK obviously appreciates it.

But the Carlos hug? TK approaches him, TK raises his arm to wrap around Carlos’s neck.

Okay, now to finally answer the original ask...

LET’S HUG IT OUT: THE BREAKDOWN THAT WAS ASKED FOR

First, can I just say from his first appearance to the end of this scene, Carlos is there for 20 seconds total and I am about to write a whole-ass essay about those 20 seconds?! I’m literal trash.

Okay, so Carlos appears looking like a fucking snack. He’s changed since the bus accident, looking like someone’s hot date, and I think we know whose... Owen is basically like “well this is unexpected” and honestly, same sir. TK is adorable and noncommittal, but clearly not surprised to see Carlos there. We’ve missed a moment between them since TK was sent to the hospital and Carlos called him impressive, that’s for sure. 

So when TK starts to walk towards him, the camera refocuses on Carlos and we see this adorable freaking look on his face that clearly says “how did it go?” or “all went well?” or something to that effect. I think Carlos knew what TK was doing at the station and he knew that it was a big deal for him, and I love that even before they are next to each other, he’s checking in to see how it went. He’s invested in TK’s well-being - as always - and he’s there to support him, both physically and emotionally. I COULD SCREAM.

In response to Carlos’s silent questioning, TK throws his head back and sighs. Like I said before, he seems to bounce towards Carlos, his body is pretty loose - his arms are swinging back and forth. This is a guy who just took a load off, and he’s relieved about having done so. The smile that Carlos gives him in answer says that he’s relieved too - that it went so well, that TK seems lighter. He might even be relieved that TK is being so much more open with him, clearly showing him his emotions. Their body language for this entire moment is very open, neither of them seem closed off. It truly does feel like, for the first time, they are meeting each other on equal footing, with all of their cards on the table before them. It’s such a different moment for them, certainly different than their body language during the boba date earlier in the episode.

I would be an absolute idiot if I did not pause and remark here how INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT IT IS that TK is the one that approaches Carlos. I’m not the first person to notice and say this, but Carlos “I hate being the one doing the chasing” Reyes stops just inside the door. He lets TK walk towards him. It’s such an interesting, nonverbal conversation between them. In this action, Carlos is saying “I’m here, but I’m still not going to force anything. You said you wanted space, so I’m giving it to you.” Sure, he comes to the station - but I would pay good money to bet that TK invited him there following some kind of conversation about what he was doing there - but he stays at the door. He’s cautious, but open. He wants something more with TK, but he’s not going to throw himself into it just to get hurt again. So, he waits. AND TK COMES TO HIM. TK leaves his own space and enters his. TK takes the final step. TK closes the gap. TK makes the big move, and they’re finally both right in front of each other, on the same wavelength. The find that solid ground from which they’ll build their relationship together. ISN’T IT JUST BEAUTIFUL?!

Seriously, kudos to Bradley Buecker for directing this episode with multiple levels of storytelling at play. It’s really great stuff.

OKAY, there’s a little Owen and Michelle moment, but then the camera finds Tarlos again. 

TK is standing in front of Carlos, they’re completely fixated on one another, their body language is just so fucking casual and comfortable I cannot stand it. See, the other hugs were all pretty intense: the team piles on top of TK, burying him, and Owen practically throws himself at TK, it’s a fairly hard hug for a man with an injured shoulder. But this hug? NOPE.

It’s so soft. It’s so gentle. TK raises his arm like he just can’t not wrap it around Carlos’s neck, like it’s the only way to be as close as possible to him and being as close as possible to him is all he wants in that moment.

What I really love about this hug is that it feels like two people who hug not because the moment is demanding it, not because they’re reuniting after a long time apart, not because they’re in a heightened state of emotion. 

These two hug like it’s just what they do, what they always want to be doing, like they don’t know how not to do it. The whole thing reads like “Hi, I’m TK and my arms belong around Carlos” and “Hi, I’m Carlos, and my arms belong around TK, what else would I be doing with them?” (It’s also the vibe I get from the club scene where they wrap their arms around each other.)

IT’S INTIMACY, Y’ALL.

Look, to be a Tarlos fan, I think you have to be willing to look at the relationship on two different levels, right? One is what they verbalize to each other, which is admittedly very little (season 2, come through). The other is the story that they tell through their body language. These two have seemingly always been on the same page physically. It just comes naturally to them, from the minute they first dance to their obviously very pleasing sex scene to the way they flirt in the bar to the club to Carlos at TK’s bedside. 

Their chemistry is made clear through how they physically relate to each other, and never is that more clear than in this hug that LITERALLY LASTS 2 SECONDS BUT CONTAINS MULTITUDES.

Okay, back to it... so TK strolls towards Carlos, Carlos waits for him - they symbolism is making me scream - TK raises his arm, it’s all super casual...

And then he just kind of literally falls into Carlos’s body, and Carlos basically just catches him. HOW BEAUTIFUL IS THAT.

They don’t even speak but because they’ve had a nonverbal conversation with just those looks that I talked about, there’s just this understanding that TK needs to just collapse a little bit and he never for one second doubts that Carlos will hold him up. THAT’S JUST WHAT THEY DO.

OKAY OKAY OKAY now we’re going to break this down from head to toe.

Like, the way that their heads just rest against each other, TK pressing close - I can almost imagine that he breathes in the scent of Carlos’s shampoo, his nose is pressed right there in his curls. AND JUST IMAGINE HIS SMILE, I BET IT’S BLINDING.

I love that their heads kind of curve around each other kind of, perfectly Yin and Yang - like, from above they would totally look like that symbol.

MY FAVORITE PART OF THE ENTIRE THING: CARLOS FREAKING REYES NUZZLING INTO TYLER KENNEDY STRAND’S NECK, LIKE HE JUST SHOVES HIS FACE RIGHT IN THERE

THE NECK KISS MADE ME SCREAM SO FUCKING LOUD THE FIRST TIME I SAW IT I COULD NOT HANDLE IT

First, it’s our first kiss since episode 2. 

Second, THE INTIMACY OF PRESSING A KISS TO SOMEONE’S NECK - LIKE THAT IS SUCH A SOFT PART OF YOUR BODY, THERE ARE TENDONS THERE, YOU CAN FEEL SOMEONE’S PULSE THERE - LIKE OH MY GOD

Nothing screams “I want to know every part of this man on a deep, committed level” than a fucking neck kiss, and Carlos Reyes just... he fucking does it. 

Okay but he really does bury his whole face in there like he wants to keep it there forever, I have truly never seen something so soft in my entire life. 

I’m so in love with them I could puke.

But like, that’s why this moment means so much to me, because I really do think that it’s a solidifying moment for both of them. 

For TK, it’s a “It’s okay if I stumble or fall because this man will catch me or help me up” thing

For Carlos, it’s “he wants me, he wants this, he’s taking literal steps towards this thing between us, and he encourages me to sink into him, he wants me to do that, he really wants this”

Like, fuck. 

Moving down... we gotta appreciate Carlos being mindful of TK’s shoulder, unlike literally everyone else who has hugged him. Like, he doesn’t even go anywhere near those stitches because there’s no fucking way he’s going to watch TK bleed out for the third time, nope.

And the way that Carlos just slides his arms around TK’s waist, pressing his palms into his lower back?! 

I think there’s a whole like, thing, where when a person’s hands are flat and open they’re like, open and vulnerable. So there’s just something about the way that Carlos presses both of his open palms against TK’s back that feels so open and vulnerable and honest to me.

Also, the way that he literally covers as much of TK’s back with his hands as possible? He doesn’t place his hands on top of one another, he stacks them along TK’s spine - he completely covers the entirety of his lower back. That’s a really vulnerable part of the human body, and Carlos instinctively protects it. AND TK LET’S HIM.

Okay, finally, down to their feet: TK really does collapse against Carlos, throwing himself on top of him and trusting that Carlos will keep him upright. All of his weight shifts to that forward momentum, he even goes up on the toes of his right foot. Carlos plants his feet, and as TK sways into him, he wraps him in his arms and gently centers them so that they don’t tip over to the ground.

He literally re-balances them. The two of them together find a balance with one another during this TWO-SECOND HUG. They shift, they steady themselves, they sink into one another.

It’s literally symbolic of them both being completely, 100%, without question, ready for the next phase of their relationship together.

They keep each other standing, and that’s fucking true love, y’all.

I honestly cannot wait for season 2. This hug and the final scene on the hood of Carlos’s car - with TK again making the move to embrace their relationship by physically reaching into Carlos’s space for his hand and dragging it into his own space, firmly opening the door to his heart to let him inside, while also settling Carlos’s hand between his own to let him know that he’s willing to protect him and his heart too - makes me believe that we are in for some truly wonderful romance with these boys. 

My heart will not stop screaming about it.

#anonymous #asks #tarlos #tk strand #carlos reyes #911 lone star #that finale hug is the very definition of love #and I have a lot of feelings about it #thank you so much for sending this ask #I loved getting to rewatch this 3-second hug about a billion times to overanalyze it #best night I've had in a long time #holy shit this is almost 3K... for a 3-second hug... I’m literally trash #brian breakdowns #brian being tarlos trash

[explosionshark]

7 for LiS, ship of your choice.

god i went through like 3 drafts of this bc i’ve got a lot to say about trust as a theme in my lis ships, i guess. in the interest of finishing something in one sitting, i went w something simple.

“Just trust me,” Chloe says, fingers brushing the underside of Max’s wrist as she withdraws her grip.

“I’m just,” Max can keep the tremble out of her hands (for now) but not quite her voice. She cuts herself off with a sharp breath, counts a beat in her head, then two, then three and let’s herself continue, steadier. “I don’t wanna mess up. Or-or hurt you...”

“You won’t. Max, this isn’t, like, my first time.”

“It’s not?” This is news to Max, who had never exactly pictured Chloe having done this, like, a lot.

“No. I mean, the first time, I did it myself. And then, later, Rachel...”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, I’ll show you pictures later. But, like, point is, you can totally do this.”

“Yeah, Max,” Rachel pipes up through a mouthful of smoke someplace behind them. Max twists around to see her sprawled languidly on the floor, one hand propping up her head, the other holding a joint to her lips. She smiles that lazy, hungry smile that turns Max’s stomach to butterflies, and nods toward them. “I already got her like, 90% of the way there. You just need to finish her off.”

At this, Max blushes again, all the way up to her ears and turns back to Chloe, who flashes her a grin.

It’s not like Rachel watching makes this any easier. Especially not now, not knowing that she and Chloe have already done this before. That Rachel and Chloe are both going to be able to tell if she’s doing it wrong, if she fucks it up.

“Max,” Chloe says, voice low, pitched just for her.

When she meets Chloe’s eyes this time, they’re bright and full of love, that sharp twist of her mouth has faded to something gentler, more tender. 

“Look, you don’t have to,” Chloe says, soft and Max knows she means it. ”I didn’t think it’d freak you out and--”

“No, it’s okay,” Max says, tightening her grip on the handle of the device, adjusting the angle of her hand. She slides the power button on with her thumb and the buzzing in her hand matches the buzzing of her nerves. But Rachel’s eyes on her back are warm and confident. And Chloe’s shoulder under the palm of her other hand is familiar, a little sweat-damp, totally relaxed.

The first pass of the clippers shears off a wide swath of light brown hair. Logically, Max knew this would happen, but she can’t help the way she yelps and jumps back a little.

Chloe laughs and swipes an arm out behind her until she grabs first Max’s ass, then her hip, and drags her back closer. “Max, relax, it’s literally impossible to fuck up a buzz cut.”

“You say that, but what if I’m the first?” Max mutters, letting out a deep sigh and gamely sliding closer to Chloe, who squeezes her hip again in response. “Stop squirming.”

“Stop sliding away from me,” Chloe says, still facing away but Max can hear the pout in her voice.

“Shut up,” Max says, leaning her whole body into Chloe’s back, taking momentary advantage of her height advantage while Chloe sits on a stool in her backyard, to press a wet kiss to the side of Chloe’s head.

It relaxes them both. Chloe settles back into her seat, hands folded obediently in her lap and Max resumes her work the the clippers, more prepared for the results on her next pass.

It’s nice out, still early enough to not be too hot, but late enough for the neighborhood to feel alive. There’s birds chirping, and, down the street, the sound of kids playing in their yards, the distant spurt of lawn sprinklers, and the low hum of calm traffic.

The world gets smaller. Just this backyard that she spent half her childhood in. Just Rachel on a beach towel on the concrete behind them, sunning herself and humming along to a Jane’s Addiction song on the radio. Just the clippers in her hand, Chloe’s head rolling pliantly on her neck when Max tips her this way and that with the gentlest suggestion of her fingers. The bead of sweat that rolls down the side of her neck that Max surprises herself by wanting to lean forward and catch with her tongue. 

It doesn’t take all that long before she’s done. Rachel had done the work of cutting Chloe’s hair short with scissors before passing the clippers to Max and asking her to finish the job. Max slides the power off on the clippers and finds herself almost disappointed to end the peaceful limbo they’d drifted into. Feels herself suddenly sentimental about the surprising tenderness of the moment, this new way for Chloe to put herself into Max’s hands and say: I’m yours, I know you’ll take care of me.

Max sets the clippers down, grabs a clean washrag from the pile they’d brought out and tips about half of her water bottle onto it. She doesn’t rush, dragging the wet terry cloth across Chloe’s scalp and neck, cleaning up the stray hairs that have fallen.

Chloe shivers and makes that little sound in her throat that Max loves, that one that’s almost like a purr, leaning back into Max’s touch. “Feels good.”

And this time Max doesn’t stop herself, drapes the washrag over Chloe’s shoulder and leans forward, wraps her arms around Chloe’s front and dips her head to kiss Chloe’s neck, her jaw.

Chloe’s hand immediately cups the back of Max’s head, weaving fingers through her hair, tugging just a little. Encouraging.

And it’s an awkward angle but Max pulls back, tilts Chloe’s face to hers and meets her halfway.

Chloe’s kiss is bright, brilliant sunlight. It’s summer, warm and open, on Max’s lips and under the pads of her fingers.

It’s the smell of chlorine and fresh cut grass and the buzz of hair clippers and the chime of a distant ice cream truck and waves of heat rolling off the pavement and days so long and wide open they feel endless.

Max pulls back, lets Chloe swivel in place until she’s dragging Max down into her lap, kissing the laughter right out of her mouth. Max runs her hands through the short prickly hair along Chloe’s scalp. “Wow.”

“Wow,” Chloe grins, kissing her again, hungry.

“I did that,” Max murmurs, fascinated with the sensation of Chloe’s shorn hair against the skin of her palms. “I can see your ears.”

She drags her fingers down the shell of Chloe’s ear, to toy with the lobes gently, delighting in Chloe’s answering shiver, the renewed eagerness of her kiss at the sensation.

“Not so bad, huh?” Chloe mumbles into Max’s mouth and then pulls back to grin again. “How do I look?”

“Not bad at all,” Max agrees, cupping Chloe’s head again. “You look good, Chloe. Beautiful.”

There’s something shyer, sweeter in Chloe’s next kiss. Max is grateful to receive it, teases it out gently between them. The sun beats down, rays falling into them, and Max knows that together under skies like these they will grow and grow and grow.

#life is strange #pricefield #max caulfield #chloe price #amberpricefield #i mean kinda. #enough for ME anyway #prompt fills #explosionfic #have a lot of thoughts about the intimacy of haircuts #have a lot of thoughts about SUMMER #ghost-in-the-hella

[prettyboybarzal]

38 and 39 with Mat Barzal 🥰

okay i had a lot of fun w/ this one!! enjoy, i hope it’s not too long 🥴 xoxo

38: “Wait a minute… are you jealous?” & 39: “I really want to kiss you right now.”

It was stupid, really, the crush that you had on your neighbor. It was so stupid that you were actively trying to find things you didn’t like about him. But, true to his brand, Mat Barzal was giggly, kind, compassionate, and humble.

The crush was small at first, something you hardly thought about. You’d see him in the elevator and exchange pleasantries, then you’d get back to your apartment and fire off a group text saying: Apartment crush talked to me about the weather today. You think he’s in love with me yet?

It started to become a running joke between you and your girlfriends.

You never intended for it to become more than that.

Anthony Beauvillier is the reason it did.

He was drunk one night and had popped by Mat’s place to terrorize him, but ended up knocking on your door instead. The boy was confused, but not shocked, that a girl had answered the door.

“I didn’t know Mat had someone over,” he mumbled. His comment was emphasized with a hiccup. “He’s going to kill me.”

“I think you have the wrong apartment.”

“What?” he asked. He shook his head, glancing down at the number beside the door. “No, no. He’s 6B. This is…” He trailed off once his eyes focused on the letter A beside the number 6. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” you responded with a laugh. You pointed across the hall. “That’s your friends place.”

“Thank you so much,” he slurred. He turned on his heel, approached the other door, and began to bang on it. You stayed put in the entrance of your apartment to make sure the drunk boy would be taken in by his friend.

You weren’t prepared for what you saw when Mat’s door opened.

Mat pulled it open, eyes squinting at the harsh fluorescent lights of the hallway. He wasn’t wearing a shirt and his sweats hung low on his waist. Your eyes trailed down his abs as a quick intake of air filled your lungs. When you looked back up, Mat was looking back at you.

“Tito, what are you doing?” he asked, redirecting his attention to his friend. “Did you wake her up?”

“Yeah, dude, I misread the numbers,” Anthony stated. “I came over to shop in your kitchen. I have no groceries right now.”

Mat let Anthony in, watching as he walked into the kitchen and began opening and closing cabinets. Mat shook his head and brought his attention back to you.

“I’m sorry about him,” he apologized. “I was supposed to go out with him tonight, but I bailed. He likes to do this when I bail on him.”

“No worries,” you responded. “I just wanted to make sure you were there to let him in. Something tells me he’d just end up sitting on the floor and waiting.”

“That’s not too far off base,” he said with a grin. He stepped into the apartment. “I better go deal with him. Goodnight…” He trailed off having realized that he didn’t know what to call you. “What’s your name?”

“YN.”

“I’m Mat.”

“Goodnight, Mat.”

The door shut and you thought that would probably be the last of your interactions with them for a while.

Anthony Beauvillier, yet again, had other plans in mind. He came knocking on your door at 11:30 a.m. the next morning with a blushing Mat behind him.

“I heard I woke you up last night,” he stated. You nodded with a smile. “We owe you breakfast.”

“You owe her breakfast.”

Mat’s interjection was ignored by Anthony and the blue-eyed boy continued talking, “We’re going to grab brunch down the block. Are you in?”

One look at Mat was enough for you to agree.

So, the fondness for your neighbor subtly became something more and the first time you ever got drunk with him and Tito sealed the deal. Justin Bieber had never sounded so sweet as it had when he was belting it out. And that’s a testament to your ridiculous crush because Mat could not sing.

That was months ago and between now and then hundreds of other memories had been made. Mat was a permanent fixture in your life and a semi-permanent fixture in your apartment. Which is why it wasn’t unusual for him to be leaning against your counter while you cooked dinner for yourself.

“I’m not going.”

You were talking about the upcoming New York Islanders Casino Night. Mat had been talking about it with you for weeks, each time making it more and more clear that he was taking you and he wasn’t going to take no for an answer. Yet, you still tried.

“Yes, you are,” Mat stated. He pushed himself away from the counter and turned toward the door. “And I’ll have Rebecca Seidenberg send a dress over. I mentioned that I was bringing you and she was shopping for that day.”

“Mat.”

“Don’t Mat me,” he grunted, mimicking the way you whined his name. “I’ll be in St. Louis until Friday, but I’ll drop by when I’m back. The fundraiser is on Monday.”

With that, Mat was out the door.

Sure enough, Monday night you found yourself standing at the bar beside the Islanders superstar watching his teammates run the tables. While your eyes were trained on Johnny Boychuk and his inability to play 21, Mat’s eyes wandered to a table of women on the other side of the room. He wasn’t at all subtle about it and you weren’t trying to let it bother you, but it was.

It wasn’t until one of those women left the table and made her way to the bar that he caught on to your frustration. Mat’s eyes followed her as she walked past him and you couldn’t miss the smirk that came to his lips as she brushed up beside him. You rolled your eyes to yourself, not realizing that Mat had turned his attention back to you.

“What was that?” he asked. You furrowed your eyebrows at him. He arched an eyebrow at you as he gestured toward your face. “You rolled your eyes.”

“I did not.”

“Yes, you did,” he stated. You glared at him and lifted your drink to your lips. Taking a sip of the liquor from the glass, you not-so-subtly eyed the girl beside Mat. She was blonde. Mat wasn’t even into blondes. You looked away abruptly as she grabbed her drink off the counter and thanked the bartender before walking off.

You watched her go, wondering what she had that you didn’t and why Mat wouldn’t look at you like that.

“Wait a minute,” Mat murmured. You looked back at him. He threw his head back and laughed, then leaned his elbow on the bar to stare at you with wide eyes. “Are you jealous?”

You narrowed your eyes at him as a warning for him to keep his mouth shut. Now was not the time for him to be a dick. But the amused look on his face remained only to be replaced by a smirk moments later.

“I’m going to find Beau,” you grunted before he could get another word out. Mat let you go, rolling his eyes at your retreating frame while he remained at the bar.

Beau was just standing from the Blackjack table with a sour look on his face. He shook his head at you as you approached and threw his hands up in defeat. He exclaimed, “I’m so bad at gambling!”

“It’s probably for the better,” you told him. “Something tells me if you were good at it you’d get addicted.”

“Probably right,” he mumbled. He grabbed his beer from the table and took a glance around. “Where’s Mat? I thought he’d be trailing behind you.”

“He was being smug.”

The comment made Anthony chuckle, but he didn’t respond. He was tired of playing Cupid for the two of you. It was time for you to figure it out yourselves. Instead, he tugged you over to Cal Clutterbuck’s Texas Hold Em table.

Mat joined the two of you not long after, but the conversation shared between you was minimal. You were pissed off at him for teasing you, he was annoyed that you stormed off before listening to what he had to say. Anthony, on the other hand, was having the time of his life ignoring the tension between the two of you.

At the end of the night, you followed Mat out to his car. He’d thrown his jacket over your shoulders as you left the reception hall. Although you tried to reject his politeness, he shot daggers in your direction that shut you right up.

Once you were on the road, music floating through the speakers in his car, you decided to confront him.

“You didn’t have to be such a dick, you know,” you said. He eyes flickered to you briefly before going back at the road. “About the jealousy thing. I get that girls throw themselves at you, beautiful girls, and I’m just your neighbor who sometimes feels more like one of your bros than anything else. But, that’s no reason to laugh at my feelings. I’ve been hiding it for months now, so I’m sorry I slipped up one fucking time.”

Your dramatic monologue went on without interruption for a few more seconds until Mat pulled over and slowed to stop on the side of the highway. He put the car in park and turned to face you.

“I really want to kiss you right now.”

Your lips parted in surprise and your eyebrows drew together in confusion. You couldn’t be hearing him right.

“What did you just say?”

“I really want to kiss you right now.”

“What?”

You felt stupid, but honestly ‘what’ was the only word willing to fall from your lips.

“I’m not repeating myself again,” he muttered. He put the car back in drive and pulled onto the highway again, knuckles white on the steering wheel. It was silent the entire way back to your apartment building, not that it was too far from where he pulled over.

You walked into the building, two steps behind him and still processing what he said in the car. Neither of you spoke until you were standing outside your apartment door.

“You’ve been quiet,” he pointed out. You nodded. “That’s usually not a good sign, especially with you. It means you’re thinking too much.”

“Trying to process,” you admitted, grabbing your keys from your purse. You unlocked your door and pushed it open, then turned to look back at Mat who was still standing dumbfounded in the hallway. “Why did you say it?”

“Why did I say I wanted to kiss you?”

“Yes.”

“Because I thought it was a good time to admit it,” he responded. “I mean, you were having this freak out moment, then you admitted that you’ve had a crush on me and I took it as my go ahead. I’ve been into you for so long now, but you are not easy to read.”

There was a moment of silence and his admission hung in the air waiting for a response. He run his tongue over his bottom lip and pulled it between his teeth. And, finally, you said fuck it.

You stepped forward and wrapped a hand around the back of his neck to tug him toward you. Your lips met his and his arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer to him. It was soft at first, but when you’re fingers found their way into his hair he sighed. You smiled into the kiss, which made him smile in return, and then the moment was ruined because you couldn’t stop each other from laughing.

When he pulled away, he had a grin on his face. He raised his eyebrows at you and asked, “Are we good now? Or am I still a dick?”

“I think we’re good,” you stated. “But the jury’s still out on you being a dick.”

“Hey!”

You slipped out from under his arms and hopped into your apartment, closing the door on the boy in the hallway. If you didn’t stop kissing him then, you probably wouldn’t be going to bed alone, and you weren’t trying to fuck this up.

#mat barzal imagine #mat barzal fic #hockey imagine #mk writes

[96harmony96]

Chaapter 20

“Excuse me.” I pushed back from the table and searched for Lauren. I saw her at the bar and went to her.

she was just turning away from the bartender with two glasses in her hands when I intercepted her. I took my drink and gulped it down, my teeth aching as the cubes of ice knocked against them.

“Camila—” There was a soft note of chastisement in her voice.

“I’m leaving,” I said flatly, stepping around her to set my empty glass on the bar top. “I don’t consider that running, because I’m telling you in advance and giving you the option of coming with me.”

she exhaled harshly and I could see that she understood my mood. she knew I knew. “I can’t leave.”

I turned away.

she caught my arm. “You know I can’t stay if you go. You’re upset over nothing, Camila.”

“Nothing?” I stared at where her hand gripped me. “I warned you I get upset and jealous. This time, you’ve given me good reason.”

“Warning me is supposed to excuse you when you get ridiculous about it?” Her face was relaxed, her voice low and calm. No one looking from a distance would pick up on the tension between us, but it was there in her eyes. Burning lust and icy fury. she was so good at putting those two together.

“Who’s ridiculous? What about Daniel, the personal trainer? Or Martin, a member of my stepfamily?” I leaned closer and whispered, “I’ve never fucked either of them, let alone agreed to a marriage! I sure as hell don’t talk to them every damn day!”

Abruptly, she caught me by the waist and hauled me up tight against her. “You need to be fucked now,” she hissed in my ear, nipping the lobe with her teeth. “I shouldn’t have made us wait.”

“Maybe you were planning ahead,” I shot back. “Saving it up in case an old flame popped back into your life, one you’d prefer to screw instead.”

Lauren tossed back her drink; then she secured me to her side with a steely arm around my waist and led me through the crowd to the door. she pulled her smartphone out of her pocket and ordered the limo brought around. By the time we reached the street, the long, sleek car was there. Lauren pushed me through the door Angus held open and told him, “Drive around the block until I say otherwise.”

Then she slid in directly behind me, so closely I could feel her breath against my bare back. I scrambled toward the opposite seat, determined to get away from her….

“Stop,” she snapped.

I sank to my knees on the carpeted floor, breathing hard. I could run to the ends of the earth and I still wouldn’t be able to escape the fact that Corinne Giroux had to be better for Lauren than I was. She was calm and cool, a soothing presence even to me—the person freaking out over the unwelcome fact of her existence. My worst nightmare.

Her hand twisted into my loose hair, restraining me. Her spread legs surrounded mine, her grip tightening so that my head was pulled back gently to touch her shoulder. “I’m going to give you what we both need, camila. We’re going to fuck as long as it takes to dull the edge enough to get through dinner. And you’re not going to worry about Corinne, because while she’s inside the ballroom, I’ll be deep inside you.”

“Yes,” I whispered, licking dry lips.

“You forget who submits, Camila,” she said gruffly. “I’ve given up control for you. I’ve bent and adjusted for you. I’ll do anything to keep you and make you happy. But I can’t be tamed or topped. Don’t mistake indulgence for weakness.”

I swallowed hard, my blood on fire for her. “Lauren…”

“Reach up with both hands and hold on to the grab handle above the window. Don’t let go until I tell you, understand?”

I did as she ordered, pushing my hands through the leather loop. As my grip secured, my body sparked to life, making me aware of how right she was about what I needed. she knew me so well, this lover of mine.

Shoving her hands into my bodice, Lauren squeezed my full, aching breasts. When she rolled and tugged my nipples, my head lolled against her, the tension leaving my body in a rush.

“God.” she nuzzled her mouth against my temple. “It’s so perfect when you give yourself over to me like that…all at once, as if it’s a huge relief.”

“Fuck me,” I begged, needing the connection. “Please.”

Releasing my hair, she reached under my dress and pulled my panties down my thighs. Her jacket flew past me to land on the seat; then her hand pushed between my legs from the front. she growled at finding me wet and swollen. “You were made for me, Camila. You can’t go long without me inside you.”

Still she primed me, running her skilled fingers through my cleft, spreading the moisture over my clit and the lips of my sex. she pushed two fingers into me, scissoring them, preparing me for the thrust of her long, thick cock.

“Do you want me, Lauren?” I asked hoarsely, needing to ride her thrusting fingers, but hampered by how far I had to reach to grab the strap.

“More than my next breath.” Her lips moved over my throat and the top of my shoulder, the warm velvet of her tongue sliding seductively across my skin. “I can’t go long without you either, Camila. You’re an addiction…my obsession…”

Her teeth bit gently into my flesh, conveying her animal need with a rough sound of desire. All the while she fucked me with her fingers, her other hand massaging my clit, making me come again and again from the simultaneous stimulation.

“Lauren!” I gasped, when my damp fingers began to slip from the leather.

Her hands left me and I heard the erotic rasp of her zipper lowering. “Let go and lie on your back with your legs spread.”

I moved to the seat and stretched along it, offering my body to her in quivering anticipation. Her gaze met mine, her face briefly lit by a passing swathe of headlights.

“Don’t be afraid.” she came over me, setting her weight onto me with excruciating care.

“I’m too horny to be scared.” I caught her and pulled my body up to press against the hardness of her. “I want you.”

Her cock head nudged against the lips of my sex. With a flex of her hips, she pushed into me, her breath hissing just as mine did at the searing connection. I went lax against the seat, my fingers barely clinging to her lean waist.

“I love you,” I whispered, watching her face as she began to move. Every inch of my skin burned as if from the sun, and my chest was so tight with longing and emotion that it was hard to breathe. “And I need you, Lauren.”

“You have me,” she whispered, her cock sliding in and out. “I couldn’t be more yours.”

I quivered and tensed, my hips meeting her relentlessly measured drives. I climaxed with a breathless cry, shuddering as the ecstasy rippled through my sex, milking her until she grunted and started powering into me.

“Camila.”

I rocked into her ferocious lunges, urging her on. she clutched at me, riding me hard and fast. My head thrashed and I moaned shamelessly, loving the feel of her, that decadent sensation of being possessed and ruthlessly pleasured.

We were wild for each other, fucking like feral beasts, and I was so turned on by our primal lust I thought I’d die from the orgasm building inside me.

“You’re so good at this, Lauren. So good…”

she gripped my buttock and yanked me up to meet her next thrust, hitting the end of me, forcing a gasp of pleasure/pain from my throat. I came again, clenching down hard on her.

“Ah, God. Camila.” With a serrated groan, she erupted violently, flooding me with her heat. Pinning my hips, she ground against me, emptying herself as deep in me as she could get.

When she finished, she sucked in a harsh breath and gathered my hair in her hands, kissing the side of my damp throat. “I wish you knew what you do to me. I wish I could tell you.”

I held her tightly. “I can’t help it that I’m stupid over you. It’s just too much, Lauren. It’s—”

“—uncontrollable.” she started over again, thrusting rhythmically. Leisurely. As if we had all the time in the world. Thickening and lengthening with each push and pull.

“And you need control.” I lost my breath on a particularly masterful stroke.

“I need you, Camila.” Her gaze was fierce on my face as she moved inside me. “I need you.”

Lauren didn’t leave my side, or allow me to leave her, the rest of the evening. she kept her right hand linked with my left all the way through dinner, once again choosing to eat one-handed rather than release her hold on me.

Corinne—who’d taken a seat on the other side of her at our table—gave her a curious look. “I seem to remember you being right-handed.”

“I still am,” she said, lifting our joined hands from under the table and kissing my fingertips. I felt foolish and insecure when she did that—and conscious of Corinne’s scrutiny.

Unfortunately, the romantic gesture didn’t keep her from talking to Corinne throughout the meal, not me—which left me feeling fidgety and unhappy. I saw more of the back of lauren’s head than her face.

“At least it’s not chicken.”

I turned my head toward the man sitting beside me. I’d been so focused on trying to eavesdrop on Lauren’s conversation that I hadn’t paid any mind to our tablemates.

“I like chicken,” I said. And I had liked the tilapia served for dinner—I’d cleaned my plate.

“Not rubberized, certainly.” He grinned and suddenly looked much younger than his pure white hair would suggest. “Ah, there’s a smile,” he murmured. “And it’s a beautiful one.”

“Thank you.” I introduced myself.

“Dr. Terrence Lucas,” he said. “But I prefer Terry.”

“Dr. Terry. It’s lovely to meet you.”

He smiled again. “Just Terry, Camila.”

Over the course of the few minutes we’d spoken, I’d come to believe Dr. Lucas wasn’t a whole lot older than me, just prematurely gray. Aside from that, his face was handsome and unlined, his green eyes intelligent and kind. I revised my guesstimate of his age to be mid-to-late thirties.

“You look as bored as I feel,” he said. “These events raise a considerable amount of money for the shelter, but they can be dull. Would you like to accompany me to the bar? I’ll buy you a drink.”

Beneath the table, I tested Lauren’s grip by flexing my hand. Hers tightened.

“What are you doing?” she murmured.

Looking over my shoulder, I saw her watching me. Then I watched her gaze lift as Dr. Lucas stood behind me. Lauren’s gaze noticeably cooled.

“She’s going to alleviate the boredom of being ignored, Jauregui,” Terry said, setting his hands on the back of my chair, “by spending time with someone who’s more than happy to pay attention to such a beautiful woman.”

I was immediately uncomfortable, aware of the crackling animosity between the two. I tugged on her hand, but Lauren wouldn’t release me.

“Walk away, Terry,” Lauren warned.

“You’ve been so preoccupied with Mrs. Giroux, you didn’t even notice when I sat at your table.” Terry’s smile took on an edge. “Camila. Shall we?”

“Don’t move, Camila.”

I shivered at the ice in Lauren’s voice, but felt stung enough to say, “It’s not his fault he has a point.”

Lauren’s grip tightened painfully. “Not now.”

Terry’s gaze moved to my face. “You don’t have to tolerate her talking to you that way. All the money in the world doesn’t give anyone the right to order you around.”

Infuriated and horribly embarrassed, I looked at Lauren. “Crossfire.”

I wasn’t sure I could use the safeword outside of the bedroom, but she released me as if I’d burned her. I shoved my chair back and threw my napkin onto my plate. “Excuse me. Both of you.”

With my clutch in hand, I walked away from the table, my stride easy and smooth. I made a beeline toward the restrooms, intending to freshen my makeup and collect myself, but then I saw the lighted exit sign and went with my urge to bail.

I pulled out my smartphone when I hit the sidewalk and texted Lauren; Not running. Just leaving.

I managed to hail a passing cab, and headed home to nurse my anger.

I was jonesing for a hot bath and a bottle of wine when I reached my apartment. Shoving my key into the lock, I turned the knob and stepped into a porn video.

In the few shocked seconds it took for my brain to register what I was seeing, I stood riveted on the threshold, flooding the hallway behind me with blaring technopop. There were so many body parts involved, I had time to hastily slam the door behind me before I pieced them all together. One woman was spread-eagled on the floor. Another woman’s face was in her crotch. Cary was banging the hell out of her while another man was drilling him in the ass.

I threw my head back and screamed bloody murder, completely fed up with everyone in my life. And because I was competing with the sound system, I ripped off one of my heels and threw it in that direction. The CD skipped, which jolted the ménage a quatre in progress on my living room floor into awareness of my presence. I limped over and shut off the volume; then faced the lot of them.

“Get the fuck out of my house,” I snapped. “Right now.”

“Who the hell is that?” the redhead at the bottom of the pile asked. “Your wife?”

There was a brief flash of embarrassment and guilt on Cary’s face, and then he shot me a cocky smile. “My roommate. There’s room for more, baby girl.”

“Cary Taylor. Don’t push me,” I warned. “It’s really, really not a good night.”

The dark-haired male on top disengaged from Cary and stood, sauntering toward me. As he got closer, I saw his hazel eyes were unnaturally dilated and the pulse in his neck was throbbing viciously. “I can make it better,” he offered with a leer.

“Back the fuck up.” I adjusted my stance, preparing to ward him off physically if necessary.

“Leave her alone, Ian,” Cary snapped, pushing to his feet.

“Come on, baby girl,” Ian coaxed, making me sick by using Cary’s pet name for me. “You need a good time. Let me show you one.”

One minute he was inches in front of me, the next he was sailing into the couch with a scream. Lauren moved into place between me and the others, vibrating with fury. “Take it to your room, Cary,” he bit out. “Or take it somewhere else.”

Ian was squealing on my sofa, his nose spraying blood despite the two hands he tried to staunch it with.

Cary snatched his jeans off the floor. “You’re not my fucking mother, Camila.”

I sidestepped around Lauren. “Wasn’t screwing up with Trey enough of a fucking lesson for you, you idiot?”

“This isn’t about Trey!”

“Who’s Trey?” The bottle blonde asked as she got to her feet. When she caught a good look at Lauren, she visibly preened, showing off an admittedly pretty body.

Her efforts earned her a glance so disdainfully dismissive and unimpressed that she finally had the grace to blush and cover herself with a slinky gold lamé dress she picked up off the floor. And because I was in a mood, I said, “Don’t take it personally. He prefers blondes.”

The look Lauren shot me was lethal. I’d never seen her look so livid. she was literally vibrating with suppressed violence.

Frightened by that glare, I took an involuntary step back. she cursed viciously and shoved both of her hands through her hair.

Suddenly bone weary and desperately disappointed with the men in my life, I turned away. “Get this mess out of my house, Cary.”

I headed down the hallway, kicking off my other heel en route. I was out of my dress before I reached my bathroom and in the shower less than a minute beyond that. I stayed out of the range of the spray until the water warmed, and then I stood directly beneath it. Too tired to stand for long, I sank to the floor and just sat beneath the stream with my eyes closed and my arms wrapped around my knees.

“Camila.”

I cringed when I heard Lauren’s voice, and tucked into an even tighter ball.

“Goddamn it,” she snapped. “You piss me off worse than anyone else I know.”

I looked at her through the veil of my wet hair. she was pacing the length of my bathroom, her jacket shed somewhere and her shirt untucked. “Go home, Lauren.”

she halted and shot me an incredulous look. “I’m not fucking leaving you here. Cary’s lost his damned mind! That amped-up asshole was seconds away from putting his hands on you when I got here.”

“Cary wouldn’t have let that happen. But either way, I can’t deal with him and you at the same time.” I didn’t want to deal with either of them, actually. I just wanted to be alone.

“Then you’ll just deal with me.”

I scooped my hair back from my face with an impatient swipe of my hand. “Oh? I’m supposed to make you the priority?”

she recoiled as if I’d hit her. “I was under the impression we were both each other’s priorities.”

“Yeah, I thought that, too. Until tonight.”

“Jesus. Will you drop it with Corinne already?” she spread her arms wide. “I’m here with you, aren’t I? I barely said good-bye to her because I was chasing after you. Again.”

“Fuck you. Don’t do me any favors.”

Lauren lunged into the shower fully dressed. she yanked me to my feet and kissed me. Hard. Her mouth devoured mine, her hands gripping my upper arms to hold me in place.

But I didn’t soften this time. I didn’t give in. Even when she tried coaxing me with lush, suggestive licks.

“Why?” she muttered, her lips sliding down to my throat. “Why are you driving me insane?”

“I don’t know what your problem is with Dr. Lucas, and I honestly don’t give a shit. But he was right. Corinne got way too much of your attention tonight. You pretty much ignored me during dinner.”

“It’s impossible for me to ignore you, Camila.” Her face was hard and tight. “If you’re in the same room with me, I don’t see anyone else.”

“Funny. Every time I looked at you, you were looking at her.”

“This is stupid.” she released me and shoved the wet hair out of her face. “You know how I feel about you.”

“Do I? You want me. You need me. But do you love Corinne?”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake. No.” she shut the water off, caging me to the glass with both arms. “You want me to tell you I love you, Camila? Is that what this is about?”

My stomach cramped as if she’d struck me with the full force of her fist. I’d never felt that kind of pain before, hadn’t known it existed. My eyes burned and I ducked under her arm before I embarrassed myself by crying. “Go home, Lauren. Please.”

“I am home.” she caught me from behind and buried her face in my soaked hair. “I’m with you.”

I struggled to get free, but I was too wiped out. Physically. Emotionally. The tears came in a torrent and I couldn’t stop them. And I hated crying in front of anyone. “Go away. Please.”

“I love you, Camila. Of course I do.”

“Oh my God.” I kicked at her, flailing. Anything to get away from the person who’d become a massive source of pain and misery. “I don’t want your fucking pity. I just want you to go away.”

“I can’t. You know I can’t. Camila, stop fighting. Listen to me.”

“Everything you’re saying hurts, Lauren.”

“It’s not the right word, Camila,” she pressed on stubbornly, her lips at my ear. “That’s why I haven’t said it. It’s not the right word for you and what I feel for you.”

“Shut up. If you care about me at all, you’ll just shut up and go away.”

“I’ve been loved before—by Corinne, by other women…But what the hell do they know about me? What the hell are they in love with when they don’t know how fucked up I am? If that’s love, it’s nothing compared to what I feel for you.”

I stilled, trembling, my gaze on the mirror’s reflection of my mascara-smeared face and bedraggled wet hair next to Lauren’s ravaged beauty. Her features were overcome by volatile emotion as she wrapped herself tightly around me. We looked all wrong for each other.

And yet I understood the alienation of being around others who couldn’t really see you or chose not to. I’d felt the self-loathing that came with being a fraud, portraying an image of what you wished you could be but weren’t. I’d lived with the fear that the people you loved might turn away from you if they ever got to know the true person hidden inside.

“Lauren—”

Her lips touched my temple. “I think I loved you the moment I saw you. Then we made love that first time in the limo and it became something else. Something more.”

“Whatever. You cut me off that night and left me behind to take care of Corinne. How could you, Lauren?”

she released me only long enough to scoop me up and carry me over to where my bathrobe hung from a hook on the back of the door. she bundled me up; then had me sit on the edge of the tub while she went to the sink and pulled my makeup removal wipes out of the drawer. Crouching in front of me, she stroked the cloth over my cheek.

“When Corinne called during the advocacy dinner, it was the perfect time to make me do something stupid.” Her gaze was soft and warm on my tear-streaked face. “You and I had just made love, and I wasn’t thinking clearly. I told her I was busy and that I was with someone, and when I heard the pain in her voice, I knew I had to deal with her so I could move forward with you.”

“I don’t understand. You left me behind for her. How does that move us forward?”

“I screwed up with Corinne, Camila.” she tilted my chin back to rub at my raccoon eyes. “I met her my first year at Columbia. I noticed her, of course. She’s beautiful and sweet, and never had an unkind word to say about anyone. When she pursued me, I let myself be caught and she became my first consensual sexual experience.”

“I hate her.”

That made her mouth curve slightly.

“I’m not kidding, Lauren. I’m sick with jealousy right now.”

“It was just sex with her, angel. As raw as you and I fuck, it’s still making love. Every time, from the very first time. You’re the only one who’s ever gotten to me that way.”

I heaved out a breath. “Okay. I’m marginally better.”

she kissed me. “I guess you could say we dated. We were exclusive sexually and we often ended up going to the same places as a couple. Still, when she told me she loved me, I was surprised. And flattered. I cared about her. I enjoyed spending time with her.”

“Still do, apparently,” I muttered.

“Keep listening.” she chastised me with a tap of her finger to the end of my nose. “I thought maybe I might love her, too, in my own way…the only way I knew how. I didn’t want her to be with anyone else. So I said yes when she proposed.”

I jerked back to look at her. “She proposed?”

“Don’t look so shocked,” she said wryly. “You’re bruising my ego.”

Relief flooded me in a rush that made me dizzy. I threw myself at her, hugging her as tight as I could.

“Hey.” Her returning embrace was just as fierce. “You okay?”

“Yes. Yes, I’m getting there.” I pulled back and cupped her jaw in my hand. “Keep going.”

“I said yes for all the wrong reasons. After two years of hanging out, we’d never spent a full night together. Never talked about any of the things I talk to you about. She didn’t know me, not really, and yet I convinced myself that being loved at all was something to hang on to. Who else was going to do it right, if not her?”

she moved her attention to my other eye, cleaning away the black streaks. “I think she was hoping that being engaged would take us to a different level. Maybe I’d open up more. Maybe we’d stay the night at the hotel—which she thought was romantic, by the way—instead of calling it an early night because of classes in the morning. I don’t know.”

I thought it sounded terribly lonely. My poor Lauren. she’d been alone for so long. Maybe her whole life.

“And maybe when she broke it off after a year,” she went on, “she was hoping that would kick-start things, too. That I’d make a bigger effort to keep her. Instead, I was relieved because I’d started to realize it was going to be impossible to share a home with her. What excuse was I going to come up with to sleep in separate rooms and have my own space?”

“You never considered telling her?”

“No.” she shrugged. “Until you, I didn’t consider my past an issue. Yes, it affected certain ways I did things, but everything had its place and I wasn’t unhappy. In fact, I thought I had a comfortable and uncomplicated life.”

“Oh, boy.” My nose wrinkled. “Hello, Mr. Comfortable. I’m Miss Complicated.”

Her grin flashed. “Never a dull moment.”

[tkstreyes]

Baby Fever

Follow-up to my fic Burning Love (or the one where TK and Carlos elope). If you want to read that one first, you can find it here. 

TK and Carlos have The Talk… about babies and starting a family. Thank you @starsignoutofwhack for the prompt! Still not sure I like the ending, but let me know what you guys think!

Word Count: 2.1k

Completely exhausted from their spontaneous trip to Vegas and fucking getting married, TK and Carlos are sitting on the floor, propped up against the couch, eating takeout and watching trashy reality TV. Carlos is wrapped up around TK, his chest pressed against his hubby’s back as TK sits between Carlos’ legs. Carlos attempts to use his chopsticks to steal a dumpling from the container in TK’s hand, earning him a slap on the wrist and protests to stick to his own dinner.

Carlos just giggles, but he can tell something is up with TK. He hasn’t said much since they got home, and Carlos knows him well enough by now to know when something is making him anxious. He puts down his own food container and wraps his arms around TK’s waist, giving him a tight squeeze and pressing his cheek against his shoulder.

“Ty, are you okay? What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?”

TK puts his food on the coffee table and sighs, leaning into Carlos’ embrace. “Yeah… everything is fine. I’m just thinking.”

Carlos smiles into TK’s back and presses a kiss into the nape of his neck. “I know, cariño. I think I can actually hear the gears in your brain grinding away.”

TK chuckles before turning his head so he can get a good look at his beautiful husband. “I was just thinking about what my dad said today at the station. You know, about us having kids. I hope him saying that didn’t make you feel uncomfortable at all.”

Carlos shifts, turning TK around so that they are face to face. “I know we haven’t talked a lot about it, but I didn’t feel uncomfortable at all. I mean, I know he was just messing around, but how do you feel about it?” Carlos is walking on eggshells. TK has been so much better about opening up and being vulnerable with him, but Carlos doesn’t want to push him too hard to the point where he shuts down. This is something they need to talk about eventually, and better to do it now while they are already on the subject.

TK’s face is unreadable. He is fidgeting, eyes down on his hands twisting in his lap. After what feels like forever, TK looks up at Carlos through his eyelashes, puppy dog eyes on full display, and in that moment Carlos knows he would give TK whatever he wants.

“I never really thought about it much before, not even when I was with Alex. It never seemed like we were at that point in our relationship, even though I almost asked him to marry me. I never thought I would be a good dad. I love my dad, and of course I know he loves me, but he wasn’t around all that much when I was a kid. The firehouse was his home, his crew was his family. I felt like the only way I could get his attention was to join the crew myself. My dad and I are close now, but I made it easier so he didn’t have to choose between his family at home and his fire family. I never wanted to put a kid through that.”

Carlos is being patient, eyes glued on TK’s and taking in every word. TK takes a shaky breath before continuing.

“But today, when my dad made that comment, I felt so much love for you, Carlos.” A smile spreads across TK’s face, his green eyes shimmering. “I didn’t feel scared, or even nervous. I felt fucking happy. I felt like there would be nothing that would make me happier than being a dad and having a kid with you. You know I love kids… I mean, I still go see Colt once a month to check up on him and to just hang out, build some Legos and stuff. But now, I am thinking how fucking much I would love our kid, Carlos. I know there would be a lot of logistics to straighten out, like whether we would adopt or have a surrogate, but I—”

Carlos cuts TK off by pulling him into a deep kiss, a slow and gentle kiss, like he has all the time in the world. When they finally pull apart to catch a breath, Carlos keeps his hands on TK’s face, caressing his cheeks with his thumbs, and he is trying (and failing) to keep the tears from his eyes, a soft smile on his lips.

“You, Tyler Kennedy, are going to make an amazing dad. You have such a capacity for love and kindness. You are always putting others before yourself, almost to a fault, but I love you all the more for it. I know that when it comes to our kid… Wow that is really weird to say, but I know that you would do anything for our kid, because that is who you are, Ty. You are someone who genuinely cares about others, and I am pretty sure that is the best quality a dad can have, right?”

Carlos takes TK’s hands, intertwining their fingers and holding his hands tightly as TK sniffles and holds back tears.  

“I totally and completely want to have a kid with you, Tyler. I grew up with older sisters, and now that all of them are married and have kids, I have wanted that for myself, too. I love my nieces and nephews so much, but it is nothing compared to how much I would love our kid. I know that there is still a lot we don’t know about being dads, but I know together we will figure it out. We are a team… you’re my partner in crime, babe.”

TK wipes over his eyes with one hand and lets out an amused huff. “God what is happening to me? Now that I’m married I’ve turned into such a sap.” He chuckles and gestures to Carlos with a small smirk. “You’ve always been the sappy one,” he says, earning a light shove from Carlos, and they both laugh as they pull each other into a hug. “I know now that I want to do this with you, but as of when…” TK trails off, pulling back to read Carlos’ reaction.

Carlos shakes his head, gripping TK’s shoulders and locking eyes with him. “As much as I want to be a dad with you, we don’t have to do anything right now. We are still so young, Ty, and we have plenty of time. But I am so glad that I got to have this conversation with you, so we know that while it might not be happening right now, it is going to happen for us someday. Maybe even someday in the near future, and I cannot wait for that day, cariño.”

“God, how do you always know just the perfect thing to say to get me out of my head?” TK looks at his husband with total love and adoration.  

Carlos leans in for a soft quick peck. “Because, Ty, I know you, and I love you. I feel like I have known you forever. You are a part of me, so when you need something, I know because it’s something that I need to.”

TK shakes his head as a light pink blush dusts across his cheeks. “Wow, how did I get so lucky to find you… to be loved by you?”

“I’m lucky to be loved by you, too, Ty,” Carlos breathes, “and one day, our kid will be so lucky to be loved by you.”

……….

One Year Later

When Carlos gets home from his shift, he can hear a commotion coming from somewhere deep in the apartment. He hears a loud bang followed by a string of expletives, and Carlos can’t help but giggle. “Ty, I’m home! What are you doing in there?”

TK comes running into the living room, hauling a newly purchased diaper bag around, throwing things in at random. “Carlos! Thank god you’re home. Kat just called from the hospital. She’s in labor.”

TK is practically vibrating with nervous energy. “I can’t believe this is happening right now. We are about to be dads, Carlos. Holy shit, we are about to be dads. Oh my god, we are not ready. Do we even have everything we need? Where’s the car seat? We are gonna need that… Diapers! We have enough, right? Oh god, what about the crib! Wait we put that together last week—”

“Tyler!” Carlos yells to get his attention in the midst of his frantic rambling and uses both hands to grab hold of his jaw, forcing TK to make eye contact. “Breathe, baby. You need to breathe. Take a deep breath with me.”

TK does as he’s told, inhaling slowly before letting out a shaky breath, and Carlos’ hands slide down TK’s neck to grip his shoulders firmly. “Okay, much better, now that I’m not worried about you passing out from hyperventilation… We’ve got this. We are going to be okay. Let’s finish getting everything together, and then we will go to the hospital to meet our beautiful baby, okay?”

Closing his eyes and taking another deep breath, TK nods and huffs out a breath, forcing a small smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. He is still shaking as he says, “Yes, okay, let’s do that. Damn Carlos, how are you so calm right now? I’m freaking out a little bit over here.”

Carlos raises an eyebrow at TK and smirks. “A little bit?”

“Okay, okay, I’m freaking out a lot. This is just… so big. You would think I would be able to handle myself in high pressure situations but…” TK trails off as he drags a hand down his face. His eyes drop to the floor, and he whispers so low Carlos barely catches what he says next. “What if Kat regrets picking us? What if she regrets picking… me?”

The break in TK’s voice breaks Carlos’ heart. The idea that TK can even think something like that has tears stinging Carlos’ eyes. He softly takes TK’s jaw in between his thumb and his index finger, tilting his chin up so Carlos can look into his beautiful green eyes.

“Tyler Kennedy, you are going to be an amazing dad. I have absolutely zero doubts about that. Kat chose us because she saw in you the same things I see in you. Someone who is thoughtful, caring, selfless, and a million other important things. You always put others first, and protecting the people you love is your top priority. Kat wanted to choose the best family for her baby, and I truly believe that she couldn’t have chosen anyone better.”

There are tears trailing down TK’s cheeks. He brings one hand to his face to carelessly wipe at them as the other reaches up to wrap around Carlos’ forearm tightly. His eyes are wide, and he squeezes Carlos’ arm even tighter. “But I’m an addict, Carlos… What if I relapse? What if I put the baby in harm’s way because I can’t focus on anything but getting a fix?”

Carlos’ chest tightens, and it feels like someone is squeezing his heart and trying to rip it out of his chest. His first instinct is to try to lighten the mood, to try to get TK to see that Carlos would never let that happen. “Honey, I’m a cop. You think you’ll be getting any drugs past me?” he says with a smirk.

When TK doesn’t laugh or even crack a smile, Carlos continues, gripping onto TK a little tighter. “Hey, cariño, I would never let anything happen to you or this baby. You have been doing so much better; you’ve been sober for well over a year now. I know that doesn’t mean that you don’t have the intrusive thoughts or urges, but you are the strongest person I know. I can go to more meetings with you, if you want, and we can get in touch with your sponsor more often. You have been fighting this fight for a very long time, and it seems like every day it’s a little bit easier to win. If that’s ever not the case, just let me know and we will figure it out together.”

TK finally smiles as more tears fall down his face. “Wow, I really do have the best husband, and this baby is about to have the best father.”

Carlos brings his hands up to cradle TK’s face, his thumbs brushing away the tears. He pulls TK in for a kiss, soft and sweet, filled with hope and longing. “The best fathers, you mean. Now, one more deep breath. Let’s get going… we have a baby on the way.”

#911 lone star #tarlos #tk strand #tyler kennedy strand #carlos reyes #911 lone star fic #tarlos fics #tarlos fic #tk strand fic #carlos reyes fic #tyler kennedy strand fic #katie writes

[multifandombitxh]

Title: Better Off (Chapter 1) Pairing: Dabi x Fem!Quirkless!Reader Chapter Genre: Fluff with a pinch of angst Chapter Warnings: Blood, mention of MOIDER A/N: This was originally going to be a continuation of In Truth, but I decided to make it its own thing. It’s mostly just more Sweet Dabi, with some Spicy Protective Dabi this time around! Pls enjoy ur meal PS I don’t proofread very well have mercy on me I am so tired

Chapter 1: Weary

By the time Dabi finally walked through the front door, the clock had just ticked over to five in the morning. His legs were sore, his head ached, and all he really wanted was to crawl into bed and sleep everything off. The previous few days had been nothing short of stressful. Shigaraki had been at his throat at every chance he could get, and it was beginning to cause conflict within the group. There was a “small” altercation just before he’d left for the night, which ended the meeting on a sour note.

A yawn escaped his lips as the locked the door, kicking off his boots and peeling off his coat in the process. After a quick wardrobe change, he slowly crept into your shared bedroom, his heart dancing at the sight of you sleeping soundly. He couldn’t help himself from kneeling down in front of you, resting his head on his arms, and watching you snore quietly. A small, love-struck smile was plastered to his face.

Dabi leaned in close to press his lips to the shell of your ear, letting one of his hands cup the base of your neck. By now he was basically hovering over you, and decided to take it a step further by actually crawling into bed. Just as he’d expected, your eyes flew open in shock, but you quickly relaxed once you realized who it was.

“Hey, beautiful,” He said, keeping his voice low.

“Hi,” You replied simply, “When did you get home?”

He silenced you by planting a lingering kiss to your lips, relishing in the moment and breathing in deeply through his nose. You wasted no time in weaving your hands into his dark hair, the sensation leaving him weak. No matter how hard he tried, he could never find his strength around you. His knees always buckled when you kissed him, his heart always fluttered when you called his name, and he could drop dead on the spot whenever you told him you loved him.

“I missed you,” Dabi breathed, breaking the kiss.

“I missed you, too,” You said fondly. After your eyes fluttered open to look up into his, you hands halted in his hair, a confused and concerned look crossing your face.

“What is it?” He asked.

One of your hands trailed down the side of his face and he winced. “Dabi, what did you do? You have a huge cut by your eye.”

Dabi laughed it off as best as he could before shifting to lay beside you. “Must’ve happened at work. I’m fine.”

“You’re bleeding.”

“Am I?”

“Yes, all over the pillows, actually.”

With a sigh, he hoisted himself to sit upright, touching the tender spot on his face. When he pulled his hand away and saw that he was, in fact, bleeding, a deep groan wormed its way out of his mouth. “Fucking perfect.”

“Stay here,” You said, ruffling the hair on the top of his head as you abandoned your spot on the bed. He watched you as you walked out of your bedroom, laughing under his breath when you nearly tripped over your own feet in your sleepy state. When you returned with disinfectant and a wet towel, Dabi leaned back against the head board and decided to rest his tired eyes. The mattress dipped beside him as you crawled back onto the sheets. He was keenly aware of your close presence, but still winced and grunted when you pressed the damp towel to his wound.

“Sit still,” You said, your unspoken worries lacing your tone of voice.

Deep down, Dabi knew that he was no good for you. He knew that one day, sooner or later, you would find out for yourself exactly what kind of monster he was, and you’d bolt. There was no doubt in his mind about it; he was going to ruin you, whether you knew it or not. A sick feeling settled in his stomach as he pondered those thoughts, the sensation worsening when he pictured the look on your face when you finally realized what he was; a villain.

He often wondered if you would care at all if you knew. You’d told him countless times that some villains can be justified in their intentions, but not their actions. It was entirely possible you might try to turn his life around; to get him on the right path and have a life worth living. No more devious plots, no more late-night League meetings, no more death. Dabi wasn’t sure if that was a life he was ready for, let alone deserved. The idea of stability was foreign to him and always had been.

At the same time, however, he couldn’t help but wonder what you would look like in a wedding gown, walking down a rose petal aisle with flowers in your hair. Or how wonderful of a mother you might be, if that was something you wanted. The idea of watching you hold your child for the first time nearly brought a tear to his eye. It twisted his heart to think that one day you might have exactly that; a normal, stable, human life. Just not with him.

He could never be a father, or a husband. Not like this.

Before he knew it, you were placing a bandage over the gash and pressing a quick kiss to his cheek.

“Good as new,” You declared cheerfully, setting down the medical supplies on the nightstand behind you. “Feel better?”

“What? Oh, yeah, much better. Thanks, sweetheart.”

When he glanced over at you, you were sitting on your legs, hands resting in your lap, softness painting your beautiful features. He reached out and placed his palm over your cheek, just like he always did, and let the pad of his thumb caress your cheekbone. You leaned into his touch, just like you always did, and a smile stretched over your lips. It was comfortable, quiet; the early morning sun creeping in through the curtains and canvassing the room in specks of gold. Peace wasn’t a luxury Dabi had the chance to experience often, but any time he managed to get a taste, you were always there.

Most days he wondered if you really were an angel. Compared to most people he knew, you were saint-like. Maybe you did have a quirk, after all; radiating peace.

“Tell me about your day,” Dabi muttered, pressing his forehead against yours.

As you quietly recounted the days events, he let his hands roam as they pleased; over your neck, stroking your shoulders, down your arms, and finally ending the journey with his fingers intertwined with yours. He nodded and listened as you spoke; smiling when you described the peaceful train ride to work, scoffing when you complained about a coworker. Every word that came out of your mouth fascinated him, reminding him that there were so many things in the world he never thought about, or cared to notice. Hell, he never bothered to enjoy a sunset until he met you. Now, he couldn’t get enough of them.

“Something did happen, though,” You said cautiously, “As I was leaving work today.”

Dabi pulled back to look you in the face, frowning when you wouldn’t meet his gaze. “What happened?”

“It’s not a big deal, really,” You began, “But... my ex kind of found out where I work. He was waiting outside the building when I left.”

“He what?”

“It’s not a big deal!” You repeated, holding up your palms defensively. “Seriously, I had it under control, and my coworker came out to help. We handled it, I promise.”

The thought of you having to deal with your ex boyfriend and him not being there to help was enough to make his blood curdle. Anger rose in his chest, a lump forming in his throat as he tried to rationalize what to say next. His immediate first thought was to plot the bastard’s murder, but when he saw the worried look on your face, that impulse disappeared. You were gripping his hands tight, gazing into his eyes to gauge his reaction. After taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes and lowered his head, trying to find the strength to calm down.

Your hands abandoned his to cup the sides of his face, forcing him to look at you again. “Dabi, please say something.”

“He could’ve hurt you and I wasn’t there to protect you,” He said at last, a growl lacing his words. “I swear to god, I’ll kill him if he ever comes near you again. I’ll-”

He was cut off by your lips on his, his anger melting away to be replaced by something warm and welcoming. His heart lurched against his ribs as you kissed him, your hands lost in his hair, one of his own pulling you closer by the waist. Kissing you was like the tide; drawing him in and back out again, washing away his fears and worries while lulling him into a hypnotic state. It was addictive, and he could never seem to get his fill.

After several minutes of bliss, you broke the kiss to rest your forehead against his. Silence filled the dark room as you sat, content in each others presence. Having finally calmed down enough to think straight, Dabi decided it best not to dwell on it, and to figure out what to do in the morning. Maybe he could get the League involved, teach the guy a lesson, hit him where it hurts. It would be easier with the others, especially Compress. His Quirk would make hiding a body much easier. Toga was pretty scary all on her own, he could probably convince her to freak your ex out a little... or a lot.

But all of that could wait. For now, he only wanted to hold you close and get some sleep.

“I think I know how to fix the problem,” Dabi declared, opening his eyes. “Temporarily, at least.”

“Oh, really? How?”

As swiftly as he could, Dabi scooped you up in his arms and placed you in his lap, smiling widely at the sweet squeal you let out in protest. He managed to grab the blanket in the process, draping it over your bodies before circling his arms around you completely. After propping himself up against the pillows, he leaned down to press his lips to yours for the hundredth time that night.

“I think,” Dabi whispered between chaste kisses, “You should take today off.”

“I can’t miss another day of work,” You half-whined, “What am I supposed to tell them this time? My boyfriend is keeping me hostage in our own home?”

“Sure, that could work.”

“Or, I could work.”

Sighing in defeat, he let his head fall back against the headboard again and shut his eyes. “I guess I can’t stop you.”

“Damn right you can’t,” You said playfully, shoving at his chest lightly. You both laughed quietly, then settled into the embrace.

“You know,” Dabi said, licking his lips. “If you wanted, I could do something about that guy for you, Y/N.”

You scoffed. “Like what? Abduct him and set him on fire? Yeah, I’d really rather not have that conversation with the cops, babe.”

“I’m just saying,” He replied with a nonchalant shrug, “Sometimes guys like him need to be taught a lesson, that’s all. I’m sure he’d leave you alone if I gave him a reason to stay away.”

“I don’t know if I like how that sounds, especially coming from you.”

After kicking himself mentally for letting his malicious thoughts spill out, Dabi slipped his hand underneath the back of your shirt and trailed his nails over your skin. You immediately reacted to the touch, your body going stiff before melting into him again. As he scratched you back and shoulders, he pressed several small kisses to the top of your head, breathing in your scent.

“I’m sorry, angel. I just want you to be safe.”

“I want you to be safe too, you know,” You mumbled sleepily against his warm chest, “You’re important to me.”

The conversation ended there, leaving you to fall back into a silent sleep, and leaving Dabi to fight back tears.

#hey i did the thing #is it good? #no! #did it do it? #hell yeah! #did it take forever? #also hell yeah! #also posted on ao3 #as always lol #dabi x reader #dabi imagine #dabi fluff #dabi fanfic #bnha #mha #bnha fanfiction #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #reader insert #mywriting #q

[hecohansen31]

A Dinasty Of Three: (Sugar Daddy! Duncan+Sugar Mommy! Fallon Carrington+Sugar Baby! Reader)

A/N: Hello there guys, 

A little time ago I published a little thing talking about how cool would it be for Fallong Carrington and Duncan Shepherd to meet (since thye are my favorite rich people, love all those dolars…) (I am being sarcastic obviously) (but also, I am poor… so…). And a few people seemed interested into this so I decided to try out the headcanon format for this, let me know as always what you think, any kind of feedback is greatly appreciated!

Even negative one, just remember to be nice!

Also I sadly might have ignored a bit the “sugar daddy/mommy” part so I am a bit sorry, but the story took this kind of road, so… sorry…

I still hope that you will enjoy it!

(also I have arrived only on the first season of “Dinasty”, so please mind that, and avoid spoilers, because I had to check a thing and I got spoiled… ver sad story…).

Let me know if you thought this was cute and you want more about this universe (BECAUSE I HAVE IDEAS!).

Just going to tag @multi-fandom-slut (hope you will like it!)

SUMMARY: Being Duncan’s baby girl was already difficult, but what happens when a third party enters the relationship… and when that third party is Fallon Freaking Carrington?

WORDS: 1,8 K.

WARNINGS: Poly-Relationship, DD/LG themes (MM/LG, also), mentions of sex and oral sex.

·        You might be Duncan’s Sugar Baby, but you still work for him, mostly when he is off to any kind of long journey, and you are feeling lonely and you know… shopping and the rich life can get so annoying. (no, I don’t because I am poor, but…).

·         And you end up having to work with Fallon Carrington.

·         Which is not a good thing for you, at least, since you actually know Fallon.

·         She was your high school’s bully and the first girl you ever crushed on, hard.

·         So, you don’t have an exact happy memory of her, and this prompt you to be a “bit” cold to her (you don’t talk with her unless it’s necessary).

·         ”I am starting to think that you don’t like me” “Actually I don’t like you, so you are right”.

·         And Fallon just can’t understand why you are being so cold towards her.

·         Till her brother makes her realize that maybe it was because she had been a bitch to you in high school.

·         And from then on, she starts apologizing to you.

·         At first you try to keep up the cold persona, feeling that she is not being sincere, but influenced by the fact that you still harbor a crush on her and the fact that she seems extremely into you and your work…

·         You end up actually enjoying your work together, even going out, sometimes.

·         Duncan is happy to hear that you got a “friend”, but then you share also the fact that you are getting again feelings for Fallon.

·         Duncan is very open-minded about your relationship, mostly because Fallon wouldn’t be the first girl you two shared and suggest to you to host a dinner with Fallon, so he can get to know her better and think about a possible three-way relationship.

·         Fallon is very nervous, but she and Duncan immediately get along, talking about business things and discussing the Republican way…

·         You just drink and are happy in the backhground, smiling shyly every time one of the duo catches you looking at them, clearly overwhelmed by the beauty and elegance that they spread in the dining room.

·         You finish the dessert and technically there would be no reason for Fallon to stay and  Duncan starts to kiss you in the way that means business, straight up in front of her.

·         And whereas you are very picky with public display of affection, you understand that this is Duncan’s test to Fallon to see if she can handle you both.

·         She does.

·         She follows you both into the bedroom, mumbling something about “needing to stop all the sexual tension going on in the room”, locking discreetly the door, meanwhile Duncan already rips off the pink Valentino dress you wore that night, meanwhile Fallon takes the hint and sheds ungracefully her Louboutin heels, before crawling on top of the plush bed.

·         And here Duncan just takes a step back, leaning against the headboard, with his arms crossed above his head, and let you two enjoy yourself.

·         Fallon is nervous AF; she might be a bad bitch and a very tech savvy babe, who knows how to destroy your career and arrange perfectly your engagement party, but she is clueless to what to do with a girl (a very pretty girl also).

·         “You have never experienced in college?” “Private catholic school, sadly”.

·         Her uneasiness is eased by a few gentle kisses, before you undress her gently, always asking for confirmation and taking just this once the lead in, making her feel any kind of pleasure, both from simply holding another body close to what it feels like to have an expert tongue between our own legs.

·         She becomes addicted to the feeling and soon you will find yourself to have to work more on her body than anything related by a possible agreement between the Morell Corp and Shepherd Freedom Foundation.

·         Duncan pumps himself gently, clearly impressed by the show and only dares to interrupt it to bring you an own dose of pleasure, his tongue flickering alongside your entrance to make sure that you are wet enough for him, before taking you, a show of power for Fallon, who is coming off her high only right in that moment, watching him between relaxed and lazy lashes, before bringing him into a kiss and then moving to kiss you, tasting both you and herself.

·         And the taste is addicting, enough to make her search more, meanwhile Duncan thrusts into you.

·         He is extremely taken aback by Fallon taking the lead.

·         But he is pleased.

·         They sometimes fight like two idiots for who gets to take the lead, till they hear your moans because you started touching yourself meanwhile they thought about what is the best for you (more like who is bets for you) and they decide to team up to punish you.

·         Which is a very bad thing.

·         Because Fallon might be new in this whole thing, but she knows exactly how to edge you and then leave you there and whereas Duncan loves the good old idea of spanking you to mark you up…

·         Fallon is more subtle, bringing you almost over and then pushing you back and sometimes not letting you cum.

·         “Baby, you just pushed two fingers into mommy’s little treasure chest, and that is against the rule” with a very soft tone that she uses only with “mommy’s favorite baby”.

·         Honestly, she is a bit scared to go rough on you.

·         She knows that Duncan does it with no problem (you have been together for two years before Fallon so that man knows you inside and out).

·         But she is afraid that she will hurt you again and it will make you run away.

·         Because other than the amazing sex… you are two amazing partners.

·         You are very nice and soft, the kind of thing she needs after her work gets too much, or if she had a bad day.

·         You just run to her, hug-attacking her and she might roll her eyes and say that you are childish but she cherishes those time when she gets to hold you and feels a little bit loved.

·         She loves the fact that Duncan is actually very attentive at whatever she has to say (work or not work related) and has an extremely high consideration of her, no matter if she makes a mistake (he has supported and helped through so many, never running away).

·         Still it takes her a lot of time to get used to the fact that maybe you are not just fuck-buddies, that it is not you and Duncan anymore, but she is also there.

·         For you and Duncan it’s quicker: you took one look at each other’s happy faces and decided that you wanted Fallon in your lives, no matter how much she tried to push you both away (which she did, LIKE A LOT).

·         You would have stuck around.

·         She understands it all when after once again Alexis disappointed her, and she comes home to them smiling and laughing sweetly but as soon as they take in her tears (FALLON CARRINGTON DOESN’T CRY!) they go in immediate “console-Fallon-mode” being extremely patient with her and giving her all the time she needs.

·         From them on Fallon is much more secure, mostly she is less jealous of you both, understanding that you are in a team, you are in this together.  (*with Troy Bolton’s voice” “WE ARE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER”).

·         You get talked shit by journals.

·         Fallon will have their head.

·         Duncan has had a stressful day, cue to you making him relax, meanwhile Fallon talks with those “imbeciles” of his workers.

·         You are spoiled rotten, and not with just affection.

·         You have them around your little finger two of the richest people the world ever met, and they literally adore you.

·         (also you are not with them for their money, with Duncan it might have started like that but then you ended up falling… HARD… for him).

·         (Fallon honestly is a bit insecure about this at first, but then she understands that you are not going to leave her if she becomes suddenly homeless… also she is pretty sure that you are almost as rich as her…).

·         (Still you joke a lot about it “Duncan I am with you for a reason and we all know what it is” Fallon: “Sadly not your dick”).

·         Mostly they love taking you to shopping trips.

·         Fallon likes them mostly because of “changing room sex”.

·         You were a bit ashamed by the idea, scared they might catch you (usually Duncan is not allowed to follow you to the changing room, but the shopping assistants were all too happy to accompany Fallon Freaking Carrington into your changing room).

·         But then Fallon slipped her hand in your panties… and you were gone.

·         You obviously reenact the entire thing for a very jealous Duncan.

·         Also, once Fallon bought a strap-on and you were absolutely into it…

·         … Duncan was less excited…

·         (he is going to kill me, but he low key enjoyed it).

·         Duncan doesn’t give a damn about what Annette think of him dating two (beautiful and talented) women not when at the end of the day they treat him like a king and make him feel so love that he once cried after a particular sweet night, spent together, laughing at old photos.

·         (it’s also there that he realizes he wants children with you two) (Fallon is  not too convinced about it, because she is young … and you are young and also… she doesn’t want to turn as Alexis).

·         (You reassure her that she won’t).

·         (Also, when it happens, she actually can’t help but caress your swollen stomach each time she can, and she gets to hold the baby immediately and she swear that no matter what she will protect the babe with all heart).

·         Blake is more worried about how this might affect the family, but Fallon tells him that she doesn’t need his blessing because she has already all the blessing that mattered: hers.

·         Krystal is very happy (and you and Krystal get along very well, always chatting about how much your respective husband and boyfriend are two idiots, with much love).

·         Steve is absolutely in love with you and Duncan, she can see that you are both a very good influence on her

·         Sammy Jo is honesty the one you get along more and is the one who drags you into any kind of crazy experience (Duncan and Fallon sometimes are not happy about it, but also, they love your champagne inebriated laugh).

·         Anders really likes chatting with Duncan, also he is forever starstruck by the fact that you can get both Duncan and Fallon to do anything you want, and at first you thought that you were nothing but a gold digger, but now he is just impressed by the way you can just caress Duncan’s hair and kiss Fallon’s ear and get them to actually be nice.

·         Alexis discovers it into some gossip magazine.

·         Blake in the end comes around it.

·         “I mean it is better to have Duncan Shepherd in your family than against you”-

·         And you are very glad you are in each other’s life.

Guys as always any feedback is welcome! 

Negative or positive, just to understand if what I am doing is right or wrong!

Thank you to anyone who will do it (*gets Duncan’s wallet* I will give you five dollars!).

Hope you enjoyed it!

-Heco Hansen.

#heco writes #fallong carington #duncan shepherd #house of cards #dinasty #fallon carrington reader #duncan shepherd reader #duncan shepherd x reader #fallon carrington reader duncan shepherd #fallong carrington x reader #fallon carrington x reader x duncan shepherd #fallon carrington headcanons #duncan shepherd headcanons #duncan shepherd smut #fallon carrington smut #fanfic #fan fic #duncan shepherd fanfic #duncan shepherd fan fic #fallon carrington fanfic #fallon carrington fan fic #duncan Shepherd smut #Fallon carrington smut

[w3as3ly]

my Mac Miller theory, especially after listening to the album ‘Swimming’

 i’m pretty convinced that Malcolm’s Swimming album is all about his obtaining his self-worth externally, instead of from within himself. he based his happiness around being successful, respected, admired. but even when he reached his ideal height, the bliss was short-lived, and he knew he wouldn't ever be that high again, so he had to get high with drugs. the success had come and passed in September 2009, and he fell from it’s heights down into a deep depression. it's all there in his lyrics. trust me. 

“i remember, yes, i remember, yes, i remember it all, swear the height be too tall, so like September, I fall, down below, down low...”

the backbone of his identity was given too little of attention, and it appears his identity was based far more around a sort of “wish-bone” self. That wishbone identity was an ideal image of everything that he wanted to be, how he wanted to see himself. and he got the chance to have that wishbone identity realized and then stripped away from him. so after 2009 (all his praise, admiration, success), he never got that high up again. “climbing over that wall,” is after 2009, when he realized that wish-bone wasn’t going to be there for him. 

“i remember, yes, i remember, yes, i remember it all, swear the height be too tall, so like September, I fall, down below, down low...” 

he had experienced this false-identity, but it didn’t last very long, and after the ingredients for his ideal passed, he was left with who he was - his backbone.

Ok, well, you could have the world in the palm of your hands You still might drop it And everybody wanna reach inside your pockets, so it goes It's like, in every conversation, we the topic This narcissism, more like narcotics, so it goes

but he didn’t have much of a strong sense of self-assurance because of how he was raised. who he was had nothing to do with what he accomplished, what he had, who he loved, or who loved him. he thought that happiness was something he could run towards, he thought it was something he could obtain: 

The grass is always greener 'til I cut it all

I can't get no satisfaction, goddamn

“I switched the time zone, but what do I know? Spending nights hitchhikin', where will I go?”

he could see a better life, greener grass, over the horizon, but once he reaped the rewards, he was left with emptiness again. he couldn't buy his happiness with success. he couldn't run to it, no, not even in a different time zone; he still felt empty. so he had to figure out what the meaning of his life was, but he never broke free from oscillating between his achievement-based esteem and his true self-esteem, which he had little of, so this was his emptiness/depression. he was on a mission to figure it out, figure out who he was, what his backbone identity was, not what everyone wanted him to be, not what he wanted him to be, not what everyone saw him as. just him, that’s it. 

Man on a mission, figure it out Putting way too much on my shoulders, please hold me down I keep my head above the water (water) My eyes is gettin' bigger, so the world is gettin' smaller (smaller) I've been getting richer but that only made me crazy Mama told me I was different even when I was a baby That Mercedes through the PA when I pull up, sounded like a concert Or a, or a monster truck, I'm trippin' but I'm falling up I always said I want it all, but it's not enough

he would teeter-totter between being grandiose, spending money on things that were a symbol of his success. he was a workaholic, putting all this work on his shoulders, which he wanted, because it kept him grounded. success kept him grounded. but the richer he got, the more he realized that it wouldn't help him love himself. so he is literally freaking out, tripping, but falling up, climbing the ladder. and then he would fall into depression, and the money meant nothing to him, and he was empty. 

Down go the system, long live the king Turn the power off and get your water from the spring I'm bringing everyone with me when shit get iffy I give a hundred and fifty percent This is the shit that I'm dealing with, but I wish I forget Used to be feelin' depressed, now that I'm living and I'm a little obsessed

Here he’s saying fuck being a workaholic, fuck getting his self-worth from everyone around him, from his accomplishments. fuck the system that he was raised in. he wants to get his self-worth from himself, getting his water from the spring. the 150% is him being a workaholic, trying to forget that there's something wrong with him, so when he breaks free of his depression, he's just obsessed with accomplishment. his Mercedes literally driving him crazy. 

“Yeah, I been reading them signs I been losin' my, I been losin' my, I been losin' my mind, yeah Get the fuck out the way, must be this high to play It must be nice up above the lights, and what a lovely life that I made, yeah I know that feelin' like it's in my family tree, yeah That Mercedes drove me crazy, I was speedin' Somebody save me from myself, yeah Tell them they can take that bullshit elsewhere Self care, we gonna be good Hell yeah, they lettin' me go”

he said this shit runs in his family tree, which again is true of narcissistic tendencies. it’s like you are constantly searching for your self worth in others, and caring too much about the riches which reflect your success. 

I'm too grounded, push whips that move mountains, new crib, blue fountains These are my surroundings I've been going through it, you just go around it But it's really not that different when you think about it

So here he is oscillating between success/materialism reflecting self-worth, a capitalistic, western world. but he is actually thinking about it and how it relates to his self-worth. he is literally going through it, but everyone else is going around it. they don't realize that their obsession with materialism and success is literally eating them alive. 

when he was growing up, it was like “1-2-3, jump,” and that’s again true when you have a gifted child who is capable of keeping himself occupied. his mom always said he was “different,” and special. the kid (Malcolm) looks up and only receives attention when he accomplishes something. so the kid searches for love through accomplishment. he had to grow up quickly, and no one was holding his hand. with a kid raised by a narcisstic parent, they put their wants on the back burner. they are not as important as others. “all i ever want is what i need,” because he his wants were not given attention. he learned to only expect the bare minimum, otherwise, he was a burden and that burden might cost him the love that he wanted. he learned that the only way he got his attention was in his talents, in his success. that’s all he’s worth, is to perform. He is just improvising, playing by ear, and listening closely to see if anyone will notice him, or give him attention/love. And he loves so hard because he wants to be loved also. But he doesnt understand unconditional love, so he does his best to meet the conditions that were bestowed before him in order to earn his love, attention, importance. but if that condition isnt met, it can be stripped away at any time. so he doesnt trust anyone, he doesnt gamble with something that can change like the seasons. 

Water my seeds 'til the flower just grow, yeah Love so much that my heart get broke I don't really know how the normal shit go, so I guess I just play it by ear, silence is all that I hear Listenin' close as I can, growin' up (123) jump Nobody holdin' my hand, no Trust is a problem, never know how, yeah That's why I just keep to myself Get what I need, then I'll be out (please help me) Who can surf the the universe with me Lucifer is human and so are we All I ever want is what I need And that don't include your time and company Follow me, we on up and up Remember when I owed a hundred bucks Now, we look around like what the fuck? If you don't fuck with me, you fuckin' up. 

I know I need to watch my temper, so I Don't ever gamble on the weather but I, just, watch, well, look The sun is shinin', I can look at the horizon The walls keep gettin' wider, I just hope I never find 'em, no, no Hey, wellThese are my wings, these are my wings These are my wings

someone can live like this, teetering between grandiosity and depression/anxiety for a long time, but the minute that the object of someone’s self-worth comes crashing down, the person will be wrought with this extreme, terrible depression. he knew that he could never have his wishbone identity, and what he was left with was “oblivion, yeah yeah.” and that’s when he “kept the medicine on call.” so yes, he turned to drugs to escape the emptiness that followed him after 2009, after he realized that he would never get that successful again, and he realized that he had all the time in the world to figure it out. but he’s stuck in his head, and can’t get out. he was stuck in oblivion, and oblivion is not the way someone should live. 

“I got all the time in the world So for now I'm just chillin' Plus, I know it's a, it's a beautiful feelin' In oblivion, yeah, yeah Oblivion yeah, yeah Oblivion, yeah, yeah”

so it’s not just about his addiction to drugs. it’s about his addiction to being free from the shackles of his own mind. because he felt empty, and he just wanted to escape his emptiness. 

he was basically an extremely talented, and gifted kid, that never got the chance to grow. and because he was raised with narcissistic tendencies, and he obtained his self-worth through the admiration of others, he was always worried about what people would think. he was always reading the wants and needs of others, but ignoring his own. he just got what he needed and left, never what he wanted, because his desires were not as important as others. i’m convinced that his mother was narcissistic, and the kid had the biggest heart but didn’t know how to be loved, because he always had to earn his love and self-love. he never had it unconditionally. 

his story is one of the saddest stories when it comes to ego and narcissism. he was not on the side of the spectrum that most people recognize, which is a superiority complex. no, that was likely the thing that was in his family tree... superiority. instead, because he was raised as a kid by people on that side of the spectrum, he wound up on the opposite side of the spectrum. the co-narcissist, the co-dependent, an inferiority complex. 

anyway, i would bet money that this is what he went through, after listening to his album. it’s terrible that someone that talented and gifted could be left behind - he deserved self-love, self-care, but he just didn’t know how. 

the entire album just kills me. my fucking heart. it's so sad that he went through this. listen to his album with this stuff I’m mentioning in mind. it all fits together, like pieces to a puzzle. it all fits. 

if anyone is interested in reading about the things that I mentioned, here are a couple articles:

Co-Narcissism: How We Accommodate to Narcissistic Parents

Adult Children of Narcissistic Parents: The Echoes

if you’re still interested, and want more to read, try:

Will I Ever Be Good Enough?: Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers

or

Rethinking Narcissism: The Secret to Recognizing and Coping with Narcissists

i didn’t read that last one very fully, but I read about “echoism,” and everything that pertained to being raised as a kid by a narcisstistic parent. anyway, hope this was interesting for you. ive had Swimming on repeat for several months, and im realizing why. 

[igotthatggukgguk]

low fidelity → jjk pt.2

pairing → fratboy!jungkook, fem reader, fratboy!taehyung genre → college!au, fratboy!au, fluff, comedy, smut in the future? warning/s → MATURE CONTENT ( SCOOT AWAY LITTLE CHILD)

You seriously didn't remember what happened between you and Nancy that she managed to successfully convince you to attend the party at Beta Tau Sigma, because you are starting to regret it. Really regret it.

It was friday night and you were wearing a backless black dress that displayed your flawless bare posterior. Well, of course not on your own accords. Your prior choice of clothing was a pair of black tights and a baggy sweatshirt but Nancy couldn't stop rambling about how you look like an unfuckable dry nun so she pulled out the sluttiest possible outfit in her wardrobe for you to wear.

"Nance, this thing isn't doing me justice. It literally covers nothing." You whined while pulling the low neckline up to cover your chest as the both of you made your way to the entrance of the frat house. Nancy was a bit plumper than you were so the dress was a bit loose around the boob area but you were a lot taller than her so the hemline that was supposed to reach your mid-thigh, stopped just below your ass.

"Good." She giggled.

There were people from other sororities and frats too. Like, well-known people. Literally. You saw YouTubers, instafamous even new actors. As usual, BTS never failed to maintain their title as the best party host in the history of LAU.

Once you two were at the door, you were met with two freshmen which you assume were the designated bouncers of the night.

"Hello, ladies." The shorter one greeted.

"Hi, we're with Yoongi."

"Alright, miss. Might as well get a little comfortable. It's gonna be wild in there." He said as he handed use two cans of beer.

"Thanks." You smiled half-heartedly in return.

Oh boy, the boy wasn't kidding when he said it would be wild. The party was feral. When Yoongi invited Nancy, he might've forgotten to mention that it was going to be a foam party. Loud EDM music was blaring at the maximum volume and the lights inside were dim and purplish. People were doing all sorts of things. Dancing, drinking, talking and doing god knows what. A few brothers were situated on the second floor, splashing more foams on top of the party crowd. They seemed like they were having the time of their life when they succesfully poured the foams on the targeted group of hot girls as they shriek sheepishly.

"Holy fuck, Y/N. I've never been to BTS' party before. I never thought it would be this lit!" Nancy exclaimed, gaping at the boisterous scene in front of her. "Oh look! there's Yoongi!" She gushed, pointing at the red-headed dude. It wasn't long until the man finally notices us and made his way closer.

"Nancy babe! Glad you could make it tonight! You even brought a friend. Hi, I'm Yoongi." He said, giving Nancy a chaste kiss not too long after.

"Yeah, heard a lot about you. I'm Y/N by the way." You smiled back. Yoongi was noticeably tipsy, that explains his overfriendliness when he pulled you into a side hug. He guided the two of you through the house and hung out a minute or two at the back porch. Soon, Nancy and you parted as she followed Yoongi somewhere else and you were left alone at the bench outside.

Thanks a lot Nancy. You were the one to drag me to this hell hole and now you're leaving me alone. Just my fucking luck.

You opened the can of beer from earlier and chugged down a big gulp, wrinkling your nose at the unfamiliar taste. When was the last time I've had alcohol? Yikes.

You took some time to scan the environment around you. People were dancing and grinding against each other. Intoxicated and very visibly horny. It seemed like most of the girls were aware of the theme since the majority of them wore bikinis and shorts. You could count with your fingers how many girls you've spotted wearing a dress. One girl from Kappa Zeta, Bae Irene and one girl from your own sorority, Jungah.

You were too engrossed with the scene in front of you to notice the presence next to you. "Y/N?"

You turned your head abruptly, eyes meeting a familiar pair of brown orbs. Oh shit.

"Is that really you? God, it's been years since I've last seen you here. I think the last time you came here was during freshman year and you were definitely not this hot. Damn." The boy chuckled, biting his lips.

"Yeah, I've been occupied with studies Taehyung. If you're not aware, that's the actual reason we go to college." You said, a tinge of sarcasm masking your sentence.

"Damn Y/N, you really know how to suck the fun out of things." You shrugged nonchalantly at the remark.

"Guess there's a reason why they call me 'fun sucker'."

Taehyung laughed boyishly.

You could feel his eyes raking your body intensely as if he was a dog and you were a piece of meat.

"Seriously though, you look hot tonight. I don't know if it's the makeup, the dress or just you, but it's working. I've had 4 brothers asking me about you." Really? You thought.

You blushed and playfully hit his arm. "Oh shut up, Tae. You're just trying to kiss my ass."

"Literally or hypothetically?" He joked.

You gasped at his innuendo looked at him in shock. Taehyung giggled, clearly amused with your reaction. He slinked an arm around your torso casually making you flinch. You looked at his face. Taehyung smirked down at you. Damn you, pretty boy. You marveled the sight of Taehyung in fornt of you, his short chestnut brown hair, his smug expression, and boy does he look good in black t-shirts.

"You're so pretty." He said. "Has any ever told you that, baby?" His voice dropped an octave lower. You stomach churned at the endearment. Taehyung used his other free hand to pull you closer to him as he pushes your body against a wall. His face was painfully near that you could even smell the alcohol in his breath, mixed with his cologne. That painfully familiar cologne.

Your heart was beating like crazy. It was going haywire but you were determined not to be lured into this trap. Again. But no matter what you do, Taehyung has this effect on you where he makes it hard for you to do things at your own consent. You were too stunned by him to do anything.

He leaned his face closer and closer to the point that your noses were touching. You stared into his eyes half-liddedly. You were sure he was going to kiss you until...

"Kim Taehyung!" A voice interrupted. You heaved a sigh of relief mentally. Thank god. Taehyung pulled back from you and rolled his eyes, clearly annoyed by the intrusion. He looked at you one last time and ruffled your hair playfully.

"You should come here more often, babe. I've missed you so much." You just nodded.

"Oi, Kim Taehyung! Get your fucking ass over here." The same voice called again.

He looked at you for assurance. You gave him a tight-lipped smile and motioned him to go along.

"Move along, freak." He gave you a slight chuckle before walking away. You stared as he made his way closer and closer to whom you assumed was Park Jimin, a dance major. It's not like you stalked them or anything. It just happened that BTS is so popular because they literally have slept with almost every girl on campus, including you.

Jimin grabbed Taehyung by his neck playfully as he dragged him to the other side of the room where two girls were waiting and giggling. You decided not to stare anymore. The sight of Taehyung with someone else somehow still managed to leave a some sort burn in your heart.

You decided to grab some more alcohol so you made your way to the kitchen where you knew where they kept their drinks.Once you were there, you opened the cabinet in the corner and found the hidden stash of good alcohol. You took out a bottle of tequila and a glass shot from the counter.

"Hey, that's not allowed ma'am!" A voice interrupted. You startled and turned around to see who it was.

The guy was wearing an LAU shirt with denim button ups as a cardigan and a camera was around his neck. His has was messily pushed back revealing his handsome forehead and his brown eyes were piercing into yours. You swore you weren't drooling as he made his way closer to you.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know." You apologized.

He frowned in response just to laugh it off after. "You're not really thinking of drinking that all by yourself, are you?" He asked jokingly and you just smiled back. "Wanna have some drinks?" You invited. The boy nodded. "It would be rude to decline an offer from such a beautiful lady." He winked at you. You felt you cheeks heating and becoming hot as a flaming hot cheetos. You couldn't keep yourself from smiling.

"I'm Jungkook, by the way."

"Y/N"

"Oh, aren't you Taehyung's girlfriend?" He exclaimed. Your chest tightened at the mention of his name.

"Ex-gilfriend." You corrected, emphasizing the first word.

"Sorry to hear that, what happened between you two?"

"It's a long story."

Jungkook frowned at the tone of your voice.

"Wanna talk about it?" He suggested as he poured in some liquid in the shot glasses. You were a bit taken aback by his forwardness. You literally just met him for like 10 minutes and he's already asking you the details of your past relationship?

"I barely know you." You scoffed.

"That doesn't make me less of a good listener." He confided.

You deliberately nodded, agreeing with his response. "Well, if you insist."

You took a shot of the cheap tequila, a burning sensation flooding throat. Jungkook did the same, except he didn't looked bothered in the slightest.

You asked if there was somewhere more private where you could talk and he somehow took you to the balcony of his room.

"You share your room with that Jimin dude?" You asked at the sight of Jimin's picture at the side of the bed.

"Yeah, he's a cool guy. Totally pure when he first joined, look at him now." He exclaimed making you laugh.

"You're a bad influence."

"How am I a bad influence? I don't even do those type of things. If anybody were to be a bad influence, it would be Namjoon and his porn addiction." He added.

You chuckled and shook your head lightly in amusement. Jungkook slide the door open to access the balcony and the two of you settled on the bean bag that was placed on the floor.

"Spill the tea, sis." Jungkook said as he crossed both of his arms behind his head. Your eyes automatically focused on his biceps as he flexed his arms.

You shook your head to snap out of it. You couldn't believe the fact that you're telling this to a stranger. Heck, you've never even told Nancy about what happened between you and Taehyung. Well, I guess someone has to know. Who could be better than a stranger? Well, now that you've thought it through, Jungkook's not really a complete stranger. You've had your call of small encounters with him at school, you definitely recognise his face but you never got the chance to actually know him.

"Well, how do I start?"

•Freshman year in college•

You were on your way to a cafe nearby your campus to grab some light snacks before the next lecture starts.

You looked at your phone to check the time and realised that it was still kinda early so you decided to stop by and have some coffee and unwind for a bit.

The bell chimed as you walked into the cafe and the workers greeted you.

"I'd like an iced frappe and a scone. Do you think you could also pack me two ham sandwiches? Thank you."

"Yes miss, the total would be 12 dollars."

You were just about to take your wallet out when a hand appeared from behind and handed the money for you.

"It's okay, I'll pay." You wanted to decline the offer but as soon as you turned around to see the owner of the money, you froze. Gawking at the man like he was some type greek god. He was wearing a white button down his top two buttons were left undone, revealing his honey tan skin.

"I-It's okay! I can pay for my own food." You said, face flushed and stuttering.

"No, I insist. You can pay me back by going put with me though." You eyes went wide as saucers at the latter statement.

Am I hearing things here? Is he really asking me out?

"Princess? What do you say?" He confirmed your thoughts.

"Sure!" You beamed at him.

"Great, I'll pick you up at 7. You're from Chi Omega, right."

"Yeah, how'd you know?" You asked, grabbing the coffee and pastries before taking a seat at the nearest table, the boy doing the same.

"Well, don't be scared but I might've stalked you a little." He confessed.

The two of you talked for a while and you found out that his name was Kim Taehyung and he was an art major from the fraternity Beta Tau Sigma. You were a bit shocked when he said it because as a freshman, you knew BTS was the big deal. The jocks of college.

You went back to the campus and got to class just in time when Professor Jung entered with her big computer in hand.

Throughout the class, you had the focus level of a labouring cow. You couldn't stop thinking about him and you counted seconds before the lecture was over and rushed back to your sorority.

You kicked open the door of your shared room and squealed. "Nancy, nancy, nancy!!! Guess what? Kim Taehyung from Beta Tau Sigma just asked me out today!"

"No fucking way! You lucky bastard!"

Nancy was your best friend since high school. It so happened that she also applied to LAU to do fashion modelling. You were elated to have found out that she was going to be in the same sorority as you and even more so when the two of you became roommates.

____________________________________

It was 7 and you couldn't tame the butterflies in your tummy. You had chosen to wear a white halter top lace dress and nude sandals, paired with a natural makeup. Not gonna lie, you looked stunning in the outfit and you hoped he liked it too.

A few minutes later, a black BMW drove into the drive way and a man in a black leather jacket came out. Your stomach churned at the sight of Taehyung in the manly outfit with his hair pushed back messily, but in a good way that made him look so delectable.

The worst thing was, you were ovulating. That meant, everything he did was extra sexy and you couldn't contain yourself from having dirty thoughts about what you wanted to do with him.

" Wow y/n, you look stunning."

You giggled as he took in your appearance.

"You too."

Taehyung had taken you to a nightclub. Interesting choice of place, I know. You did have fun though and you drank so much that night, you were positive you passed out.

The next thing you knew, you woke up in a completely foreign room. You were wearing nothing but an oversized black t-shirt and you felt heat radiating from behind you and turned around to see Taehyung still soundly sleeping.

A sharp pain shot through your head as a reminder of last night's event. Crap.

"Taehyung, man. Have you seen my — woah." A boy clad in just his boxers came blasting into the room and grew speechless at the sight of you and Taehyung.

"It's not what you think!" You explained.

"Chill sister, it's college. You can do whatever you want."

Taehyung groaned from behind you. "Babe, you up already?"

"Yeah, thanks for last night Tae. It was seriously fun but I've got to get going. I have a class at 10." You said and kissed his forehead.

"You know what? I'm gonna go." The boxer boy exclaimed, clearly disturbed with the public display of affection.

"Hey Namjoon, put a sock on the door knob will ya?" Taehyung shouted as the boy made his way out and shut the door.

You're not that naive, you know what he meant when said it. You were confused.

"Gross!" Yes shouted but did so nonetheless.

Taehyung laughed at you baffled expression. You eyes bulged when he casually pushed you on your back and straddled you.

"You have a dirty mouth, baby." You squinted your eyes at him.

"You drove my nuts yesterday, whispering dirty things you wanted to do to me." He said in a hush tone, his lips subtly teasing your the side of your jaw.

Shit.Shit.Shit.Shit.Shit. I'm never gonna fucking drink anymore. You cupped your face in embarrassment.

"What did I say?" He chuckled at your cuteness and pried your fingers off of your face. Your lips parted in awe of his gorgeous face, his bed head made him even sexier.

"How about I show you instead? Just skip the class and I'll show you." With that, he took the opportunity of your parted lips to swoop you into an open-mouthed kiss, his hands pinning yours at the side of your head.

And that was it, you had your virginity taken by him. Kim Taehyung.

After the event took place, you started to spend more and more time with Taehyung and that also meant you spent more and more time at the beta tau sigma house until everybody there practically knew you.

After a few weeks, Taehyung asked you to be his girlfriend. For once, you thought everything was perfect. Every girl in your college would die to be in your place and Taehyung was the sweetest thing ever.

Or that's what you thought.

After half a year of dating, you found out that Taehyung had been cheating on you all along. He never actually stopped seeing other girls while he was with you. He treated you as a joke.

Heck, Taehyung never even bothered to say sorry or anything when you finally told him that you wanted to end the relationship. He didn't even bother.

From then onwards, you never really go out anymore. You stopped going to parties, you stopped hanging out with the popular kids and you never really tried dating again. All you did was focus on your studies and luckily Nancy was always there for you during the heartbreak fest.

Not gonna lie, it hurt like a bitch. But you moved on eventually. Of course it wasn't easy because you see him everyday at campus, but you forced yourself to be strong no matter how much it hurt.

But deep down, you really do still care about him. He was after all, your first. Your first boyfriend, the person to take your virginity, your first love.

"I'm sorry you had to through all that because of Taehyung. That prick is gonna get it, I swear."

Jungkook rubbed your back comfortingly. You smiled sweetly at him, appreciating his effort.

"Don't bother, Jungkook. I'm a fucking diamond, a mere fuckboy couldn't break me." You said playfully, balling your fists to prove your strength.

#smut #jungkooksmut #jungkook #btssmut #namjoon #btsscenarios #bts #jimin #jin #suga #yoongi #taehyungsmut #collegeau #fratboyjungkook #fratboyau #btsfanfic

[dixiedingo]

Found Dog (Ch 1)

Chapter One to “Found Dog,” a Colossus x OC fanfiction.

TW:// Drug mention, violence, slight nsfw themes

“So, we heard some time today that the X-men have been… in short, becoming concerned with the mutants going missing over here.” Tracks took a long in half on his lower half mask, surrounded by at least two other girls.

Balea tried to pretend it didn’t hurt a bit.

They stood in front of him. When they were ‘working’ they were supposed to pretend they weren’t together since relationships weren’t a good thing around these parts. They were a weakness to be exploited.

“So, Wild Dog,” He leaned forward, violet eyes looking into her dead brown ones. “Go scope out the area. Threaten ‘em good. If it escalates, kill them. The X-Men will not impede on Stray Kids territory.” He growled.

“Yes sir.” They said coldly. They were already pulling on their ‘muzzle.’ They turned to exit, pills in their pocket in case they had to fight. They floated to the top of one building, albeit very slowly on the count of being human at the moment. They strolled on the rooftops before building hopping, floating between leaps gracefully, their absurdly long pea-coat almost like a dress.

The snow crunched under their feet as they looked around. Sure enough, they caught wind of a few people!

Granted two of them had the little red X’s on their suit and one with a big, bright yellow X on their shirt. One was a man with a grizzly appearance. Balea couldn’t decide if he was more a wolf or a bear with muttonchops like that! Then there was another man. Dashingly handsome, but clearly annoying the other one. Dirty blonde hair and katanas on his back. This should be easy-- not even samurai really used those according to the history books they read.

There was an extremely tall lad with… beautiful blue eyes and messy black hair in the yellow shirt. He was ripped. Pleasing to the eye. But, if their calculations were right, the yellow meant he was a trainee. 

And they were normally right.

They dashed around, mostly to catch their attention as a warning. The grizzly one had blades crawl from his fists. “You guys hear that?” He asked.

“No, I thought it was the sound of you, slicing sausages with those knives of yours.” The dirty blonde rolled his eyes, unsheathing his katanas. That’s when they dashed out, knocking the tallest one to the ground. Foot on his upper chest, he was stunned. They pulled a gun and pointed it to his face before pointing another at them.

“If you value his life, you’ll turn back now.” Their voice was low, bitter and angry.

“Ow! The edge! Come on kid, give us back our boy wonder and we’ll make sure he doesn’t pummel you into a nice salsa.” The dirty blonde relaxed, upon seeing it was a rather short person.

The gun clicked.

“I asked nicely. Now I gotta make an example.”

They pulled the trigger, only for the bullet to deflect-- wait did they just get taller?

The boy took their leg and swung them across the way. They flipped, landing on all fours.

The three of them lined up to face them.

“What’s that muzzle for? I didn’t realize the freak show was in town.” The grizzled one grumbled.

“It’s cause my bite is worse than my bark.” They slipped a pill through the crack of the muzzle before their skin paled into a bright, glowing white. A reverse of white skin and black stars. Their eyes stared into them.

“I don’t like how she’s looking at us…” The metal boy finally spoke as he frowned.

“Yeah? Neither do I, big guy?” The grizzled one frowned.

“Are we gonna stand here or is this now a magic show now?” The dirty blonde was growing irritated, relaxing his pose again.

“It’s a magic show. And I’m about to make you all disappear.” They launched forward, hand around the dirty blonde’s throat before throwing him just as they’d been thrown. This time though, they flipped, their heel connecting to his face. They turned just in time to catch the grizzled one swiping at their head. They charged into him as they dodged, knocking him back.

They pulled out a knife, cutting him. And yet it healed right back up.

“Regeneration huh?” They muttered. “Ditto.”

He swiped as they floated back. In their dodging though, they didn’t see the truck of a man running towards them. The metal man wrapped his arms around them, crushing the life out of them. Their breath escaped them, their eyes on the sky. Their back popping, their bones and the like being crushed.

“Let her go. Let her talk.” The grizzled one looked up at him. The metal boy looked unsure, but did as told.

Balea coughed, sputtering. “Fuck--” They scrambled on the ground. The three of them surrounded them, armed.

“Who sent you?” The boy’s accent was thick.

“Slow down there, Vladmir Putin.” The dirty blonde raised a hand. “She’s gotta catch her breath first.”

“They--” They gasped.

“They gotta catch their breath first.” He corrected himself. Maybe these guys weren’t all bad.

“.... I’m Wild Dog.” They started. “And you’re impeding on Stray Kid territory.” They slowly got up, wobbling a bit.

“Stray Kid? What the hell is that?” the grizzly one spoke up. Oh shit.

“You mean to tell me-- ghk-- you didn’t even know what you were doing???” They wheezed.

“All we knew that mutants keep disappearing left and right in this specific block radius. Unless you’ve been pulling your ‘disappearing’ act on all of them, there’s something fishy going on.” The grizzly one frowned.

“Right-- right….” How would they lie themselves out of this one? They didn’t see a point to it. They suddenly remembered everything they’d done for the Stray Kids. Yes, they were given a roof, and clothes, and food… but in turn, they’d done a lot of dirty deeds in return.

“If I tell you this stuff, you gotta promise not to come back.” They said.

“Yeah sure, when my ex calls back.” The dirty blonde rolled his eyes. “You say that as if we’re gonna listen.” He chuckled.

“... I guess if you wanna kill the informant, sure.” They said suddenly. That changed the tune.

“What do you mean kill?” The Russian boy spoke up in concern. 

“My boy-- boss. My boss won’t like it if he sees you guys again. My job was to take you out, or at least drive you out. If I come back and you guys are still kicking it… there’s no telling what’ll happen to me. So in trade for this information, you stay the fuck away from here.” They pointed, rubbing their neck.

The three of them looked at each other.

“... give us a second.” They stepped back away from them, whispering among each other. Balea meanwhile began to mess with random scrap metal laying around, just flipping them and molding them before they came back to them. 

“Right, so, we’ll keep away. What is it you know?” The scruffy one asked.

“Names first. Then I’ll tell you.” They said.

“Wolverine.” The scruffy one said.

“Your real names.” They said again.

“Your mom named you ‘Wild Dog?’ You poor, unfortunate bastard.” The dirty blonde shook his head, folding his arms. “Hey, you must’ve been quite the looker when you were born--”

“Wade.” The scruffy one cut him off. So his name was Wade huh?

“.... My name is Balea McComrick.” They said.

“Logan.” The scruffy one corrected himself.

“... Piotr.” It took the Russian a second. He must be really new.

“Right, so… where do I start?” “How about where those mutants ended?” Logan suggested.

“Fair. They all had one thing in common-- they owed it to our king pin.” Balea explained.

“King pin?” “This part of New York is split into four major parts, all ran by one big gang of mutants: Von Wicke. There’s Underwater, that’s the loan sharks. They’re in the east. In the north is the Blood Wolves. They deal with threatening people and… making them… ‘disappear.’ The west has us, the Stray Kids. We’re in charge of the drugs. We get ‘em hooked, we get ‘em in debt, and then they… also disappear. Finally, the South has the Ormedus. Those guys are in charge of weapons. The best stuff from around the globe. In the end, we’re all apart of Von Wicke. But no one has seen the king pin himself.” They drew a little map in the sand, pointed out the little areas. They all paid attention carefully.

“Why’s it split up like that?” Logan asked.

“No one really knows. Only one who knows is the king pin.” They responded.

“Who is the king pin?” Wade asked.

“.... I only know him by Dilla.” They looked anxious just saying his name.

“You kids and your monickers.” Logan sighed.

“Look, no small fish knows his real name. We all use monickers and fake names when we get caught by cops. We switch it up every week, so if we get caught, we ask for, say, Jane Doe in the ‘Manhattan Cell Block.’ So no real record is drawn up.” They explained. “You mind if I used that--” “Wade.” “What!? That’s fucking genius!”

“Anyway, this idiot to the side, those mutants have been disappearing because…” “They’ve been short on payment. We don’t make your average shit. No cocaine or meth. We do something strong, hard and purposefully addicting.” They said. “We got epmed, which is an upper. There’s killa, a downer, and finally gold, an enhancer. They’re all specifically made for mutants, by mutants. And they’re all addicting. We only use the nonaddictive strands.”

“And so once they run short on cash--” “We kill ‘em. Simple as that.” They stood now from their crouched position on the ground. They all stood with them.

“So in other words, if we wanna stop all this--” “Stop right there.” They immediately held a finger to Logan.

“You don’t stop Von Wicke. Von Wicke stops you.” Balea said. “It’s why we’re so big. We control the entire state of New York’s underground shops for mutants. You fuck with one of us? Word gets around? You’ll be dead before dawn. If you try to lay a paw on Dilla, if anyone even hears you’re trying to come for him? They will send someone out for you. It’s happened many a time before. You are not the first. You will not be the last.” They said sternly.

“Oooo, mini-me’s mad!” Wade smirked. “Sorry there, baby, buuuuut we kinda gotta do the good guy thing and save all the mutants! Which is why…

You’re coming with us.”

“Pardon?” 

Before they could even blink, the metal boy swung on them. They felt their jaw crack as they hit the ground. The boy looked so remorseful as he powered down. “I’m so sorry,” he frowned. “But it had to be done…”

The sky was suddenly black.

#Bone scrambling #writing #personal writing #oc x canon #oc x colossus #AU #piotr rasputin #wade wilson #logan howlett #founddogau

[bald-tales]

Witness Protection at the Bears Den - by titan

Part 6  Ken and Dan blew enormous clouds of smoke towards Jerrod, the acrid smoke filling the small shop. Noticing Dan looking at the amount of smoke his cigar was producing, Ken said,”Their a special”. And with that, Ken produced some smelling salts and waved them under Jerrod’s nose. It seemed to be working, as a low moan could be heard from Jerrod’s lips. Soon his head started to move from side to side.  Ken said, “Come on Jerry, you must have dozed off, don’t you want to see your new look?”  Jerrod, still very groggy said, “Whose Jerry, and w-where….am….?”  “Your Jerry, that’s a better name for you now.”Ken replied.  Trying to focus, Jerrod opened his eyes. “I feel …so weird….man….why am I so sore?”  “Well you did down a few of our special brews.” Ken laughed.  As Jerrod became fully conscious, he was also aware he couldn’t move in the chair.”Why can’t I ………..No …..my god…….” He was now aware that the person in the mirror that was coming into focus was him. But how can it be, this was a dream, a nightmare- it had to be. “What have you…how can you…….” Jerrod began to pull and twist in the chair, trying to loosen the restraints, it was then he noticed the rest of his body. “AHHHHHHHH!” he screamed, “Fucken bastard! What have you ….done? Look at me….How can I be so fat, where has all this hair come from? I’m a ..a….freak!!”  “Quiet dip shit or we’ll add a few more pounds to that belly of yours,”growled Ken.  “YOU MOTHERFUCKER! Your going to pay for this.”  Ken noticing Jerrod had stopped wriggling, trying to free himself replied, “Jerry! Your going to enjoy this ‘new you’ pretty soon,” Ken knew that the cigar smoke had a mix of herbs known to change a man’s will very quickly. “Breathe deeply boy! Enjoy the cigar smoke.”  Jerrod coughed deeply as he realised the heavy smoke was filling his mouth and nostrils.  “How? How can I, go back to….work?” Jerrod was having trouble talking now.  “You don’t have to worry about your job, anymore! Dan’s going to takeover from you.”  Jerrod was starting to get use to the smoke, in fact he found himself starting to like the smoke – that was odd? He thought, he’d always hated cigars. “What do you mean Dan´s  taking over?” Jerrod heard himself to say, wondering why he was feeling so relaxed when he should be as angry as hell. He heard a sound behind him and Ken swung him round to face a large television screen. It had a series of bright patterns swirling across the screen flicking and changing.”W-what…is…the……..pictures.. are strange…why are you…….”  “Quiet now Jerry and just relax, breathe in deeply through your nose, breathe out through your mouth…..that’s it!” Ken said in an even tone.  Part 7  Jerrod was surprised how quickly his anger disappeared. He was having trouble remembering why he was even here. It was something to do with those patterns in front of him. They seemed to be calming. These pictures and patterns flashing before him were addictive; he couldn’t turn away, they seemed to be compelling his mind to watch and remember Jerrod’s mind was playing tricks on him – he should be angry at Ken but part of him felt he should only focus on the pictures on the screen. Then he heard a voice. It sounded like Ken’s but the tone was softer. "Breathe in….now breathe out….slowly….you can only hear my voice.” Ken continued, "Breathing in, now slowly breathe out and as you do, you are becoming more relaxed.¨ The constant flashes and suggestions causing the deep hypnosis as Jerrod’s mind and body succumbed to the pictures now low and incredibly soothing. “That’s it Jerry, focus only on the sound of my voice. Relax!¨  “You are totally relaxed aren’t you Jerry?.” Ken softly asked.  “Yes….but my name is Jerrod!”  “But from now on you prefer to be called Jerry, don’t you?”  “I think so,” said the stunned Jerrod.  “When you say Jerry, you will always want to be called by that name. Say your name is Jerry.”  “My name is Jerry.”  “Good boy Jerry. Now the pictures you are seeing are part of your new life. You want to be with these people, you want to be a part of their lifestyle. With each picture your becoming more and more the punk biker. With each picture you’re growing further and further away from your old self – you hated being Jerrod. This is who you are now.”  And at that very moment a head shot of Jerry was blazing across the screen. It was from a small camera installed at the top of the television set. Jerry’s eyes didn’t blink, he just continued to stare at the screen. Now the pictures appearing on the screen were becoming more and more erotic, pictures of bears and punks fucking, rimming, masturbating their fat pumped up cocks. Guys sucking off each other, while seated on Harleys.  “Your getting hard now Jerry, grab that cock of yours, stoke it, you love it, you want to join in with all these men.” Ken continued.  Jerry did find his cock hardening. He grabbed at the growing head and began stroking it slowly. He was amazed he had never discovered the pleasures of ‘leather’ and ‘bear’ sex.  With each new picture he felt more and more aroused. He was now stroking his meat faster and faster.  “That’s it, make that cock of yours grow larger.” Ken now spoke. “With each picture you now see, will turn you on like never before. Each picture will make you more and more into the man I want. Do you understand Jerry?”  “Yes, I understand”.  “Now, you are a slave to my razor, say it Jerry.”  “I am a slave to your razor.”  “It makes you horny, you can feel the razor on your scalp, and your cock wants more, doesn’t it?” continued Ken. At the same time, pictures of the barbershop popped up on the screen, with close-up shots of guys getting head shaves with a straight razor. “Yes, my cock wants more.”  Now various pictures of bears and bikers with assorted piercings appeared on the screen.  “You like these ringed men. The more piercings the harder your cock becomes. Say you love to be pierced, it makes your cock hard.” Said Ken.  “I love to be pierced. It makes my cock hard.”answered Jerry.  Finally, pictures of overweight bears flashed onto the screen. Ken spoke to Jerry again,”You find these men beautiful, you only want to please and serve them. You love their body fur, you love their big bellies. You wish your belly was as big. These men are so manly, you are loving their looks more and more. You love the smell of their pipe and cigars. It makes you hard – you want to join them – you can smell and taste the tobacco.  You can smell and taste the cigars, can’t you Jerry?”  “Yes Sir!”  “Good, boy. You want to have one now don’t you?”  “Yes, I want a cigar, Sir.”  “And you shall have one.” And with that, Ken was already stuffing one of the thickest cigars he had, into Jerry’s receptive mouth. As Ken lit it Jerry drew on it like a seasoned cigar smoker, totally unaware he use to hate cigars.  Ken continued, “Jerry! As you smoke that cigar, you will feel more and more at ease with what you see before you. As the cigar reduces, so will your intellect, you will be totally at ease with your new self, and only want to have sex with the types of guys you see on the screen. You will loose all memories of your former life, keep smoking that cigar, you are loosing all memories…..you are becoming dumber, you don’t like reading – that is now too difficult. Each draw on that cigar is making you dumber, all your concerned about is smoking, drinking and fucking big, bikers. Your starting to forget your former life, who are you Jerry?”  “Jerry, arhh! Jerry….um….fuck! I don’t know what my last name is?” replied Jerry, as he moved the thick cigar to one side in order to speak. His accent had changed already, his voice deepened.  “Don’t you remember boy? Your last name is ‘Hawk’. That’s why you love wearing the Mohawk. Say your new name Jerry and as you say it , you forget who you were before.”  “Jerry Hawk”. Repeated Jerry, who continued smoking the huge stogie in his mouth.  From now on he was Jerry Hawk, and as the cigar wore down, so was his intellect; as the pictures on the screen continued, Jerry continued stroking his now fully engorged cock. Another strong mix of steroids were entering his bloodstream by way of the cigar. This was making Jerry more and more turned on by what he saw, it was also reprogramming his mind to react the same way whenever he saw a huge, bellied biker pig. In fact the pictures before him now, only featured overweight bikers, with plenty of tats and metal.  “Now Jerry, you will fall in love very soon. It will be with a man very much like you see before you. Would you like to be the slave of such a macho bear?”  “Yeah…fuck…I would do anything to find this bear.” Replied the new Jerry.  “His name is Kell ‘beerkeg’ O’Halloran, you will fall for him as soon as you hear his name. We all call him ‘beer-keg’. You will meet soon”, Ken added.  The reprogramming was nearly complete. Ken stopped talking and let Jerry finish the cigar, as this was the final step in Jerry’s new life. Jerry continued to look at the patterns mixed with flashing pictures of big bikers.  “As I count to three you will slowly waken feeling totally refreshed and happy with all you see before you. One…….your slowly starting to focus on the mirror in front. Two…….who is the heavy metal biker you see…… . your feeling totally relaxed….now you see it’s you in the mirror and your happy with your new’ haircut’….Three..your fully awake.”  “Wow man! That’s a great haircut. Never thought about a Mohawk before. How much do I owe you?” said Jerry as if he’d been awake all the time, totally unaware his new life had taken around 7 hours to do.  “It’s on the house Jerry.” Smiled Ken towards Dan. “But maybe you could show your appreciation some other way.” Ken began to pull his 9”cock out. Jerry didn’t need an invitation.”Sure thing Mr Barber”. Jerry went down on his knees and took the entire thick shafted penis in his mouth. Dan was already looking forward to his former yuppie boss sucking on his cock already dripping pre-cum.