#forgot this was in my drafts honestly but giffed this just because i love how his eyes WIDEN when he says low energy

[mecachrome]

I think for me, it's just how I operate best. My thinking on things is very much that negative emotions in short bursts are good, but they don't generally add that much. So trying to deal, you know, in terms of solutions is a much better way, and being able to think clearly and come up with those solutions with a clear state of mind is very important.

#oscar piastri #* #forgot this was in my drafts honestly but giffed this just because i love how his eyes WIDEN when he says low energy #soz for posting so much lol

[strawberrysins]

Flowers (Alastor x fem!reader)

Warnings: Female reader, feelings of inadequacy, insecurity, and FLUFF. SO MUCH FLUFF.

(A/N: So uhhhh, this is late. the worst part is that I wrote this months ago, I just completely forgot about it. Sorry this is so late, I didn't remember that I had written this Valentine's Day oneshot until I was looking through my drafts. Anway, I hope you enjoy it!)

Valentine's day. The day to hold your loved ones close and tell them how much you care for them. Alastor always thought of this as a stupid holiday that corporations probably came up with just to make their consumers feel like they have to spend excessive amounts of money just to prove how much they love each other. Plus, he found the idea of having a day to show your beloved how much they meant to you silly. Shouldn’t you do that every day? The whole concept seemed off to him.

That was until he fell for you. He still didn’t like the corporations part, but having an excuse just to throw gifts and hugs and everything amazing at you for a whole day? You didn’t have to tell him twice! Plus, he knew you liked the holiday, with your cheerful and frankly adorable personality and all. But of course, being the “heartless” man he was, he had never bought anybody a valentine’s day gift. Meaning, that when the day drew near, he had no clue what to get you. He could always ask Charlie, but he was a little embarrassed too. The feared Radio Demon asking what to get his girlfriend for valentine’s day? Preposterous! He was honestly, a little terrified to ask Angel, knowing he would get a less-than-savory response. Vaggie would know, but she and him weren’t exactly on the best of terms. And the others probably wouldn’t know any more than him. Honestly, the only person he would feel comfortable asking a more intimate question, such as this, would be you. But obviously, he couldn’t do that. So, he resorted to the next best thing, spying! He and his shadows lurked in dark corners and allies as they watched the common people of hell collect things to gift to their lovers. He noted the most common things, such as sweets, stuffed animals, and jewelry. He also saw a lot of red and pink, along with hearts. Unfortunately for him, not the actual organ, but the heart symbol. If he could just rip out someone’s heart to give to you, that would be much simpler! But of course, nothing was that easy. 

The one thing that he noticed every demon had though, was flowers of some sort. Almost always roses. This was a problem for him. He knew you adored flowers, and he would LOVE to see your face light up as he handed you some of your favorites. But, he was cursed with wilting any flower he came close to. This power was never a problem, in fact, he found it quite amusing, until now. He couldn’t give you a wilted flower. He knew that. He thought that he would be very appreciative of one, should he be gifted it, but he knew that you wouldn’t. You and him just found flowers beautiful in different ways. Giving you fake flowers almost seemed insulting. And he didn’t want them to be delivered straight to you, because then he would never get to see your reaction. Plus, he wants to make sure every gift you receive is perfect, and he can’t inspect the flowers to make sure they are, so he would be left at the mercy of the person arranging them. He couldn’t even watch from afar, as sometimes even looking at them was enough to completely drain them of all their life and color. He loathed the idea of seeing your precious smile fall after seeing your beautiful flowers die right in front of your eyes. So what was he to do? 

He was panicking about this for the three days leading up to valentines day. A valentines day gift simply wasn’t complete without flowers it seemed. But he physically couldn’t hand you them, or even look at them. But a man HAD to give a woman flowers that befit her beauty. But he simply couldn’t. But he would sooner be caught playing modern video games than giving you a subpar gift for valentines day. He was really starting to freak out about this! So, he came to only one conclusion. He would simply have to give your more of all the other stuff to make up for it!

He spent the whole day before finding the most extravagant and beautiful gifts for you. Only the best of gifts for the best of women! The finest and most expensive chocolates in all of hell? Absolutely. The most lavish jewelry made with all your favorite gemstones? Obviously! A teddy bear bigger than you? Definitely. Only the best. He even replaced the bow tie it had on with one that matches his. He wanted everything to be perfect. He even made reservations at the nicest restaurant on this side of the pentagram. It is usually impossible to get reservations so last minute, but with some convincing, he was able to work miracles! Usually, he would want to make you dinner, but he will be so busy spoiling you tomorrow, that he won’t have the time. It’s fine, you eat his cooking almost every day. Soon, he found that he was running out of places to hide all this stuff in the hotel. No Matter, he would just have to make space in his pocket dimension.

Finally, it was late, almost midnight. Soon, the special day would come, and everything will be perfect for you. A whole day just to give you gifts and to snuggle you. He was over the moon. He was just a tad bit worried that even the extensive amount of gifts he bought you, won't replace the lack of romantic flowers. Every woman dreams of being gifted her favorite flowers by her love, and he couldn’t give that to you. This was one of the many reasons he just didn’t deserve you. He nervously looked up from his desk, and to the pile of things on the other side of the room. It had everything someone could buy for the holiday, perfumes, dresses, cards, The only thing missing was flowers. The one thing he wanted to give you the most. The most romantic thing he could do for you was to give you a beautiful red rose on the most romantic day of the year. And he couldn’t. 

He felt his smile shrink a bit, and decided to go back to focus on what he was currently working on. A love poem for you. He had never written poetry. Never even tried. But he heard it was another romantic practice, and decided he could give it a try. It was much more challenging than he expected. How could one articulate such complicated and indescribable feelings through written words? He crumbled up the piece of paper and threw it in the trash can by his desk, which was full of more failed pieces. Just as he reaches to grab another piece, he hears a light knock at his office door. In the blink of an eye, his shadow dove through the small crack under the door and came back to Alastor to tell him who it was. To Alastor’s delight, it was you! 

He jumped up from his chair and hurriedly made his way over to the door. He carefully opened it as little as possible for him to slide out and greet you. Your eyebrows knit together in confusion. He has never done that before. He always politely opened to door for you to come in, or if he was really busy just shouted for you to let yourself in. You have never seen him just squeeze his way out to try to hide the sight of his office from you. 

“How may I help you, my darling?” he asked, tilting his head slightly, a gesture you always found utterly adorable.

“Well I came here to wish you a happy Valentine's day,” you stop for a second as a few nearby clocks start chiming, signaling it was now midnight. “But now I am more interested in what you are trying to hide from me in there” You lean to the side a bit and peer around him to the door, only for your vision to be blocked again as he stepped in front of you. You were honestly a little concerned. He had been kind of ignoring you these past few days, and now he is trying to hide something from you. Although, you would be lying if you said you didn’t have the slightest idea. You caught a glimpse of Niffty shoving some bright pink boxes behind a bookshelf while muttering about how Alaster ought to give her a raise.

You turn to look back up at him, deciding to give him a more stern look. You were going with the ‘mother scolding her child who obviously broke something and is lying about it’ approach. Crossing your arms and tapping your foot, you never stopped looking directly into his eyes, waiting for his response. 

Alastor could feel your eyes pierce directly through him and into his soul. You could read him like a book. He started to nervously look around, avoiding eye contact and starting to desperately come up with an excuse. He could technically give you your gifts now, but he wanted to wait until you woke up in the morning, like what was proper. 

This whole scene would look absolutely ridiculous to anybody walking by. A horrifying being of darkness and destruction getting treated like a misbehaving toddler by someone half their size. 

“Well my dear, you see, I was, well,” He finally looked you in the eyes, after coming up with a sufficient topic changer. “Well my dear, I think we should be paying more attention to the fact that you are still awake. And at this ungodly hour of the night! Ridiculous! We must get you straight to bed.” He grabs your arm and starts hurriedly leading you to your room. 

You were awake this late because you had only just finished with his gifts, but you couldn’t tell him that. So instead you went with, 

“Well, I just couldn’t sleep without you. Where have you been all week? I miss you.” 

Meanwhile, Alastor can’t tell you where HE’S been, so all he can do is try to switch to conversation back to you. 

You guys just go back and forth until you are in your room, getting dressed in your nightwear. You eventually break and just give up with your attempted interrogation. 

“You know what? Whatever! You keep your secrets you vile, evil man!” You said the last part with an obvious tone of sarcasm, so he doesn’t accidentally take it to heart. Alastor let out a small sigh of relief, knowing that you would finally stop trying to tear into him, and he could stop trying to do the same to you. He really didn’t care what you were doing. You are always up this late on your phone. He tiredly climbed into bed where you happily joined him. You cuddled up close to his side as he carefully wrapped his arms around you. You tilted your head up slightly and placed a soft kiss on his lips, which he graciously returned. 

Perhaps he isn’t perfect, and maybe he doesn’t deserve you, but he has you. He has you and he knows you love him, and he loves you, more than anything else. You two love each other, and that is all you need. Not flowers, not poems, not gifts, or any material object. Just with each other, you two can be happy. 

P.S. you totally got him some wilted flowers and spent a long LONG time trying to convince him the next day that flowers weren’t actually that important.

#alastor hazbin hotel #alastor x reader #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel #hazbin x reader #radio demon #the radio demon #fanfic #fanfiction #x reader

[lucienne-thee-librarian]

18 on the choose violence 😏

EDIT: As y'all may have guessed, my queue I was saving drafts of these in was running last night and I forgot to switch the time over so here's the real answer.

18 - It's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on: you want me to CHOOSE?!? You expect me to CHOOSE just ONE character from Sandman that the fandom sleeps on?!?!?!? Oh, jail for 1000 years - well let me spin the roulette wheel Rose and Jed.

ROSE. God I'm emotional about her. She's been through so much, the loss of her baby brother with a father who it's implied was not the nicest, lost her mother and her best friend in the same year, and she nearly destroyed the world but yknow what, she literally did nothing wrong here. She called Dream an asshole and totally got away with it. She's got gay hair and gayer friends (fellow bi!Rose truthers anyone???? Hello??? Someone else please discuss, queer people do all tend to flock together) and I hope she gets everything she wants.

I really want to explore the possibilities of a growing relationship with her and her immortal family sometime. Morpheus isn't just going to forget about her and Jed and him looking out for her baby brother is the only way I can see her kind of starting to warm up to him again. Like I WANT to see that weird tense but possibly loving relationship explored. Dream clearly respected her intelligence and wanted to give her more information (even if he was also using her to find the Corinthian which. Not cool).

(Also I think she'd go NUTS for the library of Dreams. Like she's a writer and suddenly she's seeing all the books never published?? Who wouldn't want to read them all?)

I have feelings about the parallels between her and Death. Plus I have a hc as some of my friends already know, that in one of Rose's low moments Despair finds her and something about the fact that this girl is family tugs at her. She has her function and her duties but she also has a sense of loyalty. So that could cause some seriously juicy potential internal conflict for her AND Rose honestly kind of needs an outlet for her bottled up grief and the weightof responsibility she feels. For Jed, for Lyta and her son...feel free to ask or dm me if you want to know more this post is already long enough xD

(And the fact that in a series where she's ONE OF THE MAIN FUCKING CHARACTERS for multiple episodes of this series she gets so much less attention ON HER OWN SELF - I'm talking art and fic overall PERIOD, let alone stuff where she gets any interiority of her own or her character taken seriously is just. I don't even know man)

jED. My precious baby boy my son. I want to give him a hug. I want to wrap him in a warm blanket and give him cocoa and as much popcorn as he wants. Dream's reaction to Jed was in fact channeling me. This kid has been through too much and he deserves to live a happier life with his sister, so thank God he's gonna get it.

(But also does anyone wanna talk to me about the fact that Jed is a possible candidate for Dream's successor when he's older and might be even more viable than MASSIVE COMIC SPOILER ALERT Daniel Hall and all the ways this could complicate things HELLO.)

Miranda Walker - either the gif search function is broken which isn't beyond the realm of possibility here, or I couldn't find one gif of her in this show. And I KNOW people have made them I just can't find one...sigh

But I really want her to get more attention because her story is so potentially fascinating even if she barely got any screen time. Like this girl is the granddaughter of Desire, that must've massively impacted her life. I want to know how she dealt with the relationship with her children's father going sour and him taking Jed away and her struggling to raise her kids.

And last but certainly not least drumroll please...UNITY. That's right we're giving the whole Walker-Kincaid family some love!!

HER. The queen the legend the moment.

Her story man...it gets me emotional every time. She could've had a life in the waking world. I really want to see more about what her dream life (which we know she experienced as real, with time passing and all, because of the things she said about it) was like. Even without Desire, how did she handle basically growing up in Wonderland surrounded by dreams? (I can't take credit for the Alice in Wonderland vibes that was @violetoftheendless 's great idea.) Did she make friends and a new found family there? Did she see signs she didn't understand at the time of dreams and nightmares falling into chaos and eventually leaving the realm in a slow trickle?

But also she's just such a genuinely lovely person. She took Rose into her heart without a second thought and was prepared to take Jed - I'm sure she didn't know how much more time she had but she knew she didn't have forever, and she wanted a family again and she'd lost her own parents long ago and never gotten to say goodbye...and the kicker is, unlike in the comic where she's basically on her deathbed already, she COULD have possibly lived a little longer. But she chose to sacrifice her new life to save Rose's. If this woman doesn't deserve the Spirit of Love label like I've seen in some truly beautiful meta from @windsweptinred I don't know who does. BUT ALSO she's not a perfect inhuman angel either, she is capable of being charmed by the Corinthian, which - looking around at the fandom, one can see she's not alone so I for one can't blame her too much, but also she met the king of dreams and nightmares and within less than 5 minutes called him a himbo to his face. She's beautifully human with icon behavior and Sandra James-Young deserves all the credit in the world for this role.

#rose walker #jed walker #unity kincaid #miranda walker #choose violence ask game #the sandman #me banging pots and pans together in delight going ROSE AND JED AND UNITY ARE ALL THE BEST CHARACTERS AND I WILL DIE FOR THEM AND YOURE ALL #GONNA HEAR ABOUT IT thanks for giving me the excuse :) not that I need one

[vegaelettra]

Like Ripples in a River: Redacted Records

Ch26 - Out of Thoughtful Consideration (on AO3 ❤)

If you have ever thought "oh, is such a pity that VegaElettra notes at the end of the chapter aren't longer", this is the place for you ^-^

Or, in which I ramble about the the chapters and the behind the scene.

I actually wanted to start with the last chapters, but then I forgot and then it's already one year XD So, I'll mention just a few things as a little bonus ;)

BONUS (Ch24 & Ch25):

***Slightly spoilery***, but it's vague enough (and maybe they'll make you curious if you didn't already read them ^-^).

One, that I love to imagine that Hae-ryung spent the previous two chapters in varying degrees of this:

GIF by candlewinds

And that U-won, instead, spent them in a varying degrees of this:

GIF by mykoreanpersonality

Poor man! XD

And in my first draft, I was honestly even more cruel. Because, before meeting A-ran and Eun-im and being judged, he would've gone home and met Seol-geum and be judged by her too. Lucky him, I didn't manage to make the scene work. XD

And when in the chapters Hae-ryung's mentions that "she's waiting for that book she heard about science and horrors, creatures and monsters"... that's Frankenstein by Mary Shelly ;) Not a clue if it ever managed to to be brought to Joseon in that period but since it was published around 1818, I decided it was good enough for this fic! And something that, I'm sure, would have interested our dear Hae-ryung <3

====================

And now, to then new chapter behind-the-scene :D

Under the cut, because there are going to be a little bit of spoilers XD

Cultural Note: Munhyeong/Daejehak Daegam

AKA the Chancellor of Royal Literature (Chancellor Hong in my fic)

Since in this chapter I decide to try use the korean honorifics in a consistent way, I had to go search for his through the episodes.

And found a nice little tidbit.

The Daejehak was a Senior 2nd Rank position in both Hongmungwan, aka the Office of Special Advisors (홍문관), and Yemungwan aka the Office of Royal Decrees (예문관). From what I gathered (google translating articles from korean), they were often held by the same person.

To be called Munhyeong, though, the same person needed to hold also the top position at Sungkyunkwan.

And this was something possible only if the person had passed the civil service examination and received a special order by the King.

Talk about a political career ;)

And its meaning is something like "a scale that correctly evaluates the learning of the entire country" in the sense that it is the scale of learning, the standard for writing, and is the best among scholars.

SSC truly made sure all the best positions were given to his men...

Second Cultural Note: Sejabin Manora

AKA the Crown Princess

Do you know how in the series they call her "Sejabin Mama"? Well, from a wikipedia page about Royal Titles in the Joseon dynasty I stumbled upon (and think I read it somewhere else or heard in some kdrama), the most correct form is "Sejabin Manora".

Because "Mama" was reserved only for the King, Queens and Crown Prince.

So, yeah, "Daegun Mama" that Sam-bo loved to scream at the top of his lungs? It should have been "Daegun Deagam" at the top of his lungs XD

There were many Daegam running around the Royal Palace XD

Third Cultural Note: officer's wife

In the aforementioned wikipedia page, there's a little table about the titles of the women married to officials.

Our dear Hae-ryung's title is Anin since U-won's is a 7th rank officer, but what I found extremely funny is that, according to it, the rough translation is...

... "Peaceful Lady" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

GIF by candlewinds

Yeah LOL she's such a peaceful lady ^-^

And, I mean, not a clue if it's right (didn't have time to check)... but I'm still going to use it somewhere. I'm already picturing Yang complaining and saying something like "So much for the peaceful lady" XD

BEHIND THE SCENE

Title: it was inspired by the words used by U-hui during the series (and that I reused in a different way in this chapter) during the meeting she had with Ji Yin in episode 9. It felt quite apt ;)

One of the reasons, among many, that this chapter was so late was the fact that dear SSC and U-hui never interacted in the series 😱

At last, with most other characters and relationship I had something to build upon, but here I got nothing except the fact that she didn't quite had a great opinion of him.

I had to read the previous scenes with their POVs and try to mash all together in my mind to come up with something which would sound in-character for both of them.

And I love the fact that I had the chance to show one more time how manipulative and emotional abusive SSC can be. Like with U-won, in some convoluted and messed up way, he cares for her... but the tragedy is that he cares for both of his children more for the way he wants them to be (and hope to mold them) rather than the two real people he has in front of his eyes.

That's why, U-hui in the end is not sure anymore who is the one who deceived the other. She wants to be the one in control, to break free from his threads, but as with Jae-gyeong a few chapters ago, she is still swept up and unsettled by his manipulation. I tried to deliberately parallel a few moments of that chapter like when she runs to meet him in the same way Jae-gyeong was forced to run too. And how both of them (and even U-won with Hae-ryung) are forced to deal with the fact that SSC uses "family" and their fears as a way to try control and manipulate them.

That's also way I tried to parallel Yi Jin and U-hui's scenes. Both are forced in a situation where there's not a clear-cut correct answer and both are forced to do their best with the tricky situation they are forced into.

But in the end, there's a difference. While Yi Jin has to make concessions he regrets somehow, he ends hopeful on being able to have the upper hand. U-hui, instead, in a way not dissimilar of the powerless trapped position she's in, ends up unsure and conflicted, without a solution that could make her situation better.

And, lastly, the female historians are not going in the same places as the series. 😉 And there's two reasons behind this:

the ripple effects of the characters' decisions. With Yi Jin and U-hui's plan underway and SSC's growing interest in keeping an eye on this development, it seemed to me the most logical direction;

me being salty.

Let me clarify point 2. Yi Jin and Sa-hui's interactions in the series are all fine and good (and there's going to be chances for them to interact in my series too)... but why he needs a female historian? And why Sa-hui who was sent spying (the Queen Dowager in primis) was barely be seen doing it in the series? I was so disappointed XD So, this time, *mild spoiler* she'll be spying 😈 and we'll go from that ;)

=============================

If you read til the end, know that I adore you ❤️ I hope it was a fun read!

#rookie historian goo hae ryung #vegaelettra's notes #my fanfics Redacted Records #Records of a Different Story #Like Ripples in a River

[televinita]

Glee Re-watch: The Rhodes Not Taken

[note: found this deep in my drafts from late 2021; I think I was going to rewatch it one more time to see if I wanted to add anything before posting? but meh, now I just wanna share]

Randomly browsing Netflix, lingered sadly over the show they’re going to take from me soon, and this is the episode the preview played from so I decided to do a spontaneous rewatch. Now, I haven’t laid eyes on season 1, outside of the musical performances, in well over 6 years at this point (probably 7-8), so let’s see what happens:

Oh my god what happened to the rapid-fire recap. This guy sounds depressed. Get him some Vitamin D, stat!

I can’t believe there are 209834 versions of Don’t Stop Believing on this show and none of the studio recordings are the one where Quinn takes lead vocals even though she sounds BEAUTIFUL.

oh noooo not the Mongoloid joke

other than that, I’m very happy to see Terri and she deserves all the grasshopper pie she wants. I love you, my conniving little harpy.

Emma shut up challenge

oh my god I love April

I am making a valiant effort to get all the way through Maybe This Time without skipping ahead, but JESUS CHRIST THIS IS SO AWFUL. I assume this is how the song is supposed to go, but April sounds like a hag and my ears are bleeding, even on Rachel’s part.

I genuinely don’t remember the bowling alley date. I mean, I remember it because it featured heavily in a beautiful fanvid that was made in 2009 to the song “Boys With Girlfriends” (I know better not to be friends with boys with girlfriends...), a video whose disappearance I still mourn, but I don’t remember it actually feeling like a date.

Finn’s kind of a manipulative dickhead in this episode, huh? Kick him in the nads.

“I don’t know what I want, but I know what I don’t want, and it is allll THIS.”  Need that in gif form, I honestly quote it way too much.

Emma shut up, Emma shut up, Emma shut up

Alone is the champion of my heart always. Among the top 10 songs in season 1, possibly top 5? It actually came on the radio earlier tonight and I harmonized like a boss, hearing Glee in my head all the way.

I also wish I had a gif of the manager grooving along to their duet, because that is me every time

Mr. Schue’s passive-aggressive “we’re all really looking forward to your show” comment to Rachel is SO PETTY AND MEAN and I am living.

“My dreams are bigger than that, and they’re bigger than you.”  I flippin’ love that Rachel quote. I forgot that was straight from the show, but I must have known at one point because I changed the first pronoun to “her” and quoted it liberally throughout season 3 re: Finn/Rachel, especially after the engagement episode.

Last Name is AMAZING. It is also in my top 10/possibly top 5 of season 1, and it’s 100% the best performance in this episode. The costumes, the choreography (Kurt is looking fiiiine in a way that’s normally not possible for him in this season), April’s twirling and “woo!”s, and honestly IDK why Will is so mad bout her BEING drunk when he chose a song like this...not least because she shows absolutely no sign of being drunk and is probably better able to perform drunk than sober at this point.

Aww man way to make me cry at the end there, April. (I’m so glad this show kept randomly calling her back)

I still don’t really get why everyone’s so blown away by Somebody To Love. I forced my brain to like it via exposure, but it is very much Just Okay. Better than the original, but still not great. (YEAH THAT’S RIGHT. My respect for Queen is...not large.)

oh my gosh, Quinn’s hair is SO LONG and pretty! I miss that look.

Also lol, I’m sorry, did they invite people to drag themselves all the way out here for two 3-4 minute performances? That apparently need an intermission between them?? Did I miss something? I really hope I missed that this is either the warmup to some parent-info assembly, or they are actually putting on at least an hour-long medley and all the others are just songs we’ve heard before.

#glee #glee 1x05 #cleaning out my drafts

[holidaywishes]

you finally made sense

  Requested: 👍

  Summary/Request: So Jacob Markstrom idea for whenever you’re ready. Because I am simple and just love the idea I would love to see how you would write friends to lovers but where Jacob has known for a while that he wanted more but the reader is much slower to come to a realization. Like maybe she realizes when someone makes a comment about how they are such  a cute couple or something.

  Warning: Google Translate, fluff, maybe some language?

  Author’s Note: For some reason, this GIF doesn’t come up in the GIF search but I love it too much not to use, so I believe it’s from @droppedgloves​ and I want to thank them for it. It’s beautiful, thank you. Fun fact: I forgot what the ‘plan’ was after I wrote “here’s the plan” because I had to save it as a draft and do other stuff 😂😂 I’m not super familiar with Markstrom, so I had to spend a good full day scrolling through YouTube to watch videos and interviews of him to get a sense of his personality so I could figure out how I wanted to write him and, here’s another fun fact: I didn’t realize that video of the goalie playing with dolls (you’re the better goalie, you’re the better goalie) was actually Markstrom so that made me giggle when I was watching stuff. @mandypants95​ I hope this gives you a little bit of what you were looking for. Friends to Lovers is fun to write because of all the cliché’s that come with it so I hope everyone enjoys it, even just a little bit! It’s quite long, like I told mandypants, it kind of got away on me, so just prepare yourself 😂Stay golden, loves! <3

  P.S. The names of Marky’s friends are not real people, -- he might have friends with these names but I have no idea, -- I just needed to make up some names for his friends 😜

  P.P.S. If you keep seeing this appear after you’ve liked it, I’m sorry. Sometimes edits need to be done because of grammar (I hate when my fics have bad grammar) and if I do it on the app, sometimes the title doesn’t save so the link gets we-- it’s a whole thing.

 masterlist

 the other masterlist

xx

  You met Jake his first year playing with the Canucks but it wasn’t a natural friendship like he usually explained it to everyone. He was sweet, sure, but he was also very cocky; like he knew how good he was and was eager to make sure everyone else knew. It didn’t take long, though, for him to charm his way into your life.

  “JAKE!” you called as you walked through his front door

  “What’s up!” he yelled from the top of the stairs

  “Here’s the plan:” you started to explain, “we’re going to this bar, you’re not going to run off and leave me alone with all these strangers, we’re gonna leave when either of us decides that we’re done, got it?”

  “It’s a party, (Y/N),” he laughed, “we have to interact with them”

  “I know and it’s your birthday,” you added, “I’m just saying, I don’t know your friends. You can read me, I can read you, so just help me out a little, okay?”

  “Fine” he sighed sarcastically before running down the stairs to meet you, bumping your arm lightly with his shoulder before walking into the kitchen to grab a glass of water

  “Good” you smiled

  “Great” he teased

  “Look,” you sighed, leaning against his counter while he practically chugged his water, “don’t be weird. Don’t wear a suit and make me feel under-dressed, just wear jeans and a t-shirt”

  “It’s my birthday party...” you scoffed

  “I know, so just be comfortable” you grinned and he shook his head

  “God, you’re so demanding today” he joked

  “I have to be or you won’t listen to me”

  “You know me too well, I guess” he smiled, forcing an exaggerated eye roll from you before you turned on your heels to make your way home. “Wait, you’re leaving?”

  “Yeah” you scoffed

  “You just came over to boss me around and leave? Like this couldn’t have been done over text?”

  “I have to go get changed!” you laughed

  “What?” he chuckled, “you just told me to dress casual”

  “I know because I know you,” you admitted, “you’ll still show up looking like you’re going to some fancy event. Even in ripped jeans and a ratty t-shirt”

  “I won’t” he smiled

  “You will. Just let me go home and put on a dress. I’ll meet you there”

  “You’ll text me when you get there?”

  “As soon as the Uber turns the corner” you smirked

  “Okay, see you there.”

xx

Jacob’s P.O.V

  You waited outside the bar for (Y/N) to show up for your birthday party that your friends from Sweden came in for but she was taking forever

  “Where are you?” you asked impatiently

  “I told you I’d text you when I was there” she sent back

  “Yeah, but you were supposed to be here like 20 minutes ago!”

  “There was traffic. I can’t control the traffic”

  “Oh I’m sure you could if you tried”

  “Yeah well, maybe next time”

  “Are you close?”

  “The car is just turning the corner now”

  “Finally” you watched as cars paced by the bar until one black Lexus pulled up in front of you and (Y/N) stepped out slowly. Your eyes couldn’t help but follow her as she walked toward you, completely enthralled by the deep blue colour of her dress as it swished side to side. “Wait” you stopped her from walking into the bar, ahead of you

  “What?” she sighed as she stepped back in front of you

  “Why are you allowed to dress like that,” you gestured to her before gesturing to your outfit, “and I have to dress like this?”

  “Because,” she started, a smile creeping across her face, “these are your friends. They’ve never met me before and I want to make a good impression”

  “But it’s not like they need to approve of you,” you smirked, “we’re not dating”

  “Oh I know,” she scoffed, “but if I look good, that makes you look good. They’ll know that you’re not failing over here because you hang out with awesome people like me” she turned and walked into the bar, grabbing your arm so she could drag you in after her. Her laugh, paired with her warm touch, sent your heart racing and you hoped she would hold onto you longer but as soon as your friends greeted you, she let go

  “GRATTIS PÅ FÖDELSEDAGEN!” they shouted, grabbing you and practically tossing you back and forth between them before you noticed (Y/N)’s uncomfortable expression. You moved your hand to rest on her back

  “Guys, this is my friend, (Y/N),” you said, pushing her forward so they could see her, “(Y/N), this is George, Niklas, Ollie, Sam, Malcolm, Dustin, Eric and Corey”

  “Wow,” she exhaled with a laugh, looking at you as she tried to think of something to say, “forgive me if I mix up your names. Jake moves a lot faster than I do”

  “Guess that’s what makes him a good goalie?” Ollie joked and (Y/N) nodded

  “So you guys are just friends?” Dustin pried

  “Yes” (Y/N) was quick to answer and you hoped that none of the boys noticed your face fall

  “Let’s get some drinks!” Niklas exclaimed, directing (Y/N) to the bar while the rest of you followed behind them

  “Så är du verkligen bara vänner?” George started, speaking Swedish so (Y/N) wouldn’t be able to understand

  “Ja” you scoffed

  “Av eget val?” Corey asked

  “Så klart det är” you countered

  “Ja? Din eller hennes?” Dustin teased

  “What are you boys gossiping about?” (Y/N) laughed before you could answer, catching your eyes and a pathetic smile as the group sat at the bar

  “They’re just asking when I’m gonna win the cup” you lied

  “Did you guys meet here? In Calgary?” Ollie asked her, ignoring your lie

  “No, actually we met in Vancouver,” she admitted with a smile, “in 2016?”

  “Yep,” you added, “the end of 2016. We were instant friends”

  “No we weren’t” she laughed

  “What?!” you said, shocked at her confession

  “Ooh, Jakey, what did you do?” Malcolm teased

  “Nothing! I was a complete gentleman” you tried

  “No he was,” she laughed, placing her hand on your arm to reassure you, “you were. He was very sweet but he knew I knew who he was and I didn’t really wanna give in to it, you know what I mean? But we kinda stayed in touch for a couple days, had lunch with some of my friends, he got us tickets to a game and made us feel welcome and all that. It was all very sweet”

  “So what was the issue?” Malcolm asked, as if he knew something had changed

  “I got a job in Calgary. I had moved to Vancouver for University but I was about to graduate and the island was a little too expensive to live on after having the loans I had. So when I moved back to Calgary, we just kinda couldn’t really become friends” she replied

  “But obviously you did” Corey added

  “He found me on Instagram and added me,“ she laughed and you could feel your face fill with heat, “then he just wouldn’t leave me alone”

  “And then he got traded here” Sam finally added, earning a round of laughs from everyone when they realized he hadn’t said anything

  “Then he got traded here. During a Pandemic, in the weirdest season of Hockey I’ve ever witnessed” she laughed

  “She flipped when I told her”

  “I hadn’t kept up with the trade deadline” she added

  “So she was in the middle of a Zoom call or something” you continued, the two of you now telling the story together

  “When I get this text”

  “I wrote, purposely very cryptically, I’m coming to see you”

  “And I was obviously very creeped out”

  “But she still replied”

  “Well, I had to figure out what the hell he was talking about!” she laughed, pushing your shoulder playfully

  “Sure but you could’ve just been like ‘this is a joke’ and left it at that” you teased before she rolled her eyes

  “Anyway…” she smirked, “I sent back a message asking what the hell he was talking about”

  “So I told her I got traded and she sent a voice note practically screaming”

  “I was excited”

  “I was nervous but I was happy that I’d have a friend in the city outside of hockey”

  “So I asked him when he was going to get into the city, to see if we could meet up”

  “I told her”

  “But then Alberta went into a weird quasi-lockdown and I didn’t want to get him in trouble”

  “So we FaceTimed”

  “Which we’d obviously done a million times over the years”

  “We caught up”

  “Planned to get together”

  “Which we did, pretty soon after, and now here we are”

  “Here you are” George interjected, leading you and (Y/N) to laugh awkwardly before each taking a sip from your respective drinks and Niklas pointed out a booth where everyone could sit and talk without having to crane your necks. After a while, and a few more cocktails, everyone seemed to be getting along which, honestly, made you smile; something that Ollie was all too quick to notice.

  "I'll be right back" (Y/N) said with a smile before she started to push you out of the booth, leaving you with your friends and their very obvious questions

  "Before you say anything," you smirked, "just don't"

  "Come on" George laughed

  "If you already know what we're going to say, why don't you answer the question?" Sam added

  "Come on, Jakey" Malcolm teased

  "Säg det" Corey added

  "Säg vad?" you played dumb

  "Kom igen..." Eric continued

  "Ingen aning om vad du pratar om..."

  "Hur länge har du älskat henne?" Dustin finally asked

  "Hey!" you exclaimed when you saw (Y/N), trying to get them to forget about the question

  "Hi," she said, caught off guard by your excitement, "everything okay?"

  "Yeah" you answered, letting her back in before you squeezed in next to her

  "You sure?" she said, furrowing her brow

  "Yeah! We just wanted to get another round but wanted to make sure you were here before we did..."

  "You're a terrible liar" she laughed, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear and exposing her neck

  "Så... ska du berätta för henne att du älskar henne eller måste någon av oss göra det?" Sam said, causing (Y/N)'s head to ping pong back and forth between the two of you, as if she was trying to understand what he said to you

  "What did he say?" she asked you, leaning into you, causing your cheeks to flush with heat

  "Nothing," you said, distracted by her peach-scented shampoo and the way she didn't move away from you, clearing your throat when you realized that you were almost moving toward her, "they're just teasing me. You all have that in common”

  “Yeah, something tells me that’s not what he said” she smirked, her eyes dancing between yours before she sat back up and continued talking with the guys; they told her stories about how you were as a kid, she laughed and said that you hadn’t changed at all.

  “It was nice to meet you, (Y/N),” Malcolm said, “take care of him while we’re gone okay?”

  “I will” she smiled

  “Take care of yourself, too” Corey added

  “Thanks”

  “And you,” George pointed to you with a smirk, “you take care of her”

  “Yeah yeah yeah” you joked

  "Vi är seriösa, J," Niklas said, "Hon är för bra för dig men om du tar hand om henne ..."

  "Då vet du..." Sam added, raising his eyebrows as (Y/N) called a cab

  "Allvarligt killar, sluta" you sighed

  "Du älskar henne" Ollie whispered

  "Berätta bara för henne," Dustin said while Eric nodded his head

  "Det är inte så enkelt" you sighed, watching (Y/N) continue to try to hail a cab and fail, dropping her head in annoyance

  “Come on!” you heard her yell, earning a scoff from you

  ”Har jag varit kär i henne i ungefär två år? Ja," you confessed, "spelar det någon roll? Nej, för hon känner inte samma sak om mig och jag tänker inte tvinga henne att känna något hon inte gör”

  "Tycker du inte att hon förtjänar att veta det?" Sam asked

  "Vi såg hur hon såg på dig," Ollie grinned, "Jag tror att det finns några känslor där"

  "Jag tror inte det" you sighed once more, looking over at (Y/N) who had successfully hailed a cab

  “Jake!!” she called excitedly, a huge smile spread across her face, “come on! It was nice to meet you guys!” she called to your friends and they waved her goodbye, “Jake, I can’t keep this guy waiting forever!”

  "Du bör gå" George laughed

  "Hon är så bossig" Corey joked

  "Ja, det är hon" you smirked, looking at her calling you to the small yellow car and telling the driver to wait just one more minute. ”Okej killar, jag måste gå. Tack för att du kom in för att önska mig en grattis på födelsedagen,” you smiled, “Ha en säker flygning tillbaka”

  "Kommer att göra, Jakey," Malcolm said

  “Hallå!” Niklas interrupted one last time, "Berätta bara för henne"

  “Adjö” you shook your head before smiling and waving them goodbye

  “Geez! Took you long enough!” (Y/N) whined, hopping into the backseat of the cab with you close behind

  “Relax, I had to say goodbye. They came a long way” you replied

  “Such a good friend,” she said, “can I just stay at your place tonight? I’m exhausted”

  “Yeah that’s fine” you agreed, letting your hand fall next to hers, brushing her skin with your pinky and waiting for someone to break the silence

  “Where to?” the driver finally asked, bringing your attention to him before giving him your address

  “Your friends were nice,” (Y/N) added wearily, “they didn’t really like to talk in English though did they?”

  “Their Swedish is better”

  “That’s fair” she yawned, closing her eyes and leaning her head against the window. You smiled as thoughts of how your life could be with her — falling asleep next to her, caressing her skin as she slept, pushing her hair from her face and tucking it behind her ear so you could kiss her softly — but you knew she didn’t feel the same, so all you would ever be was friends.

xx

  You fell asleep in the cab next to Jacob but you could swear you felt him watching you. He did wake you up, gently, when the cab pulled up in front of his apartment.

  “(Y/N)?” he whispered, “hey”

  “Hi. What’s going on?”

  “It’s time to go inside” he smirked

  “Oh” you scoffed, pushing yourself across the bench seat and stepping out of the cab, stumbling into Jacob when you finally stood up

  “Whoa” he chuckled, placing his arm around your waist to keep you from falling

  “I’m sorry,” she whined as you both stepped into the elevator, leaning back against the cold metal and away from Jake. “I didn’t think I drank that much but I guess I couldn’t keep up with you guys”

  “It’s okay,” he laughed and you started to drift off to sleep again, “hey, we’re almost to my place, don’t fall asleep here okay?”

  “Okay” you hummed before he started to keep you awake by telling you jokes. “Oh my god, Jake, stop!” you laughed, “your jokes are awful”

  “Hey! My jokes are pure gold” he countered

  “Sure they are” you scoffed. When the elevator finally opened, you slowly walked out, swaying and stumbling through the hallway before Jake eventually placed his hands on your waist and guided you to the door

  “Alright, here we are. Come on, drunky”

  “Why aren’t you more drunk?” you finally asked, only now noticing that he seemed very sober

  “I’m twice your size,” he laughed, “I can manage a bit more alcohol than you”

  “Yeah but you’re like… sober. Like you didn’t drink at all” you questioned before stumbling into his chest

  “Oh-kay, let’s just get you to sleep,” he said, carrying you to his bedroom

  “Hey mister,” you slurred, “what do you think you’re doing?”

  “I’m putting you in bed” he said

  “This is your bed, I don’t know what kind of ideas you have in your little Swedish brain”

  “Don’t worry, kid,” he scoffed, setting you down on the firm mattress before tucking you under the covers, “I’ll be in the guest room”

  “Wait!” you called as he started walking away, “happy birthday” you smiled, realizing you hadn’t said it to him nearly all-day

  “Thanks,” he whispered and you saw him smile while he began closing the door, “now get some sleep. I’ll see you in the morning.” The next morning, you heard him in the kitchen, trying to be as quiet as possible, rummaging around the cabinets

  “Hey sleepy head!” he exclaimed

  “Oh wow,” you replied softly, rubbing your temples, “why are you yelling like that?”

  "I'm sorry," he whispered but it still felt like yelling, "am I annoying you?"

  "What are you doing?" you asked, glaring at him while you sat down on the stool at the kitchen island

  "I'm making pancakes!" he smiled

  "You can't cook" you groaned, still rubbing your temples in hopes that it would cure your hangover

  "Wow, rude," he joked, throwing a metal spoon into his sink and you shuddered at the ringing of the steel that echoed through the room, "do you want some aspirin?"

  "Yes please" you smiled gratefully

  "Here" he said, handing you a glass of water and two small pills

  "Thank you," you said and he saluted you lazily, earning a scoff from you, "so what's going on today? Post birthday plans?"

  "My mom is calling in soon and then I have to go to practice, we've got a game tomorrow. In Vancouver, so we're flying out this afternoon," he replied, keeping his eyes on the food in front of him while he spoke, "so the day is pretty much set..."

  "Oh," you said, clearing your throat as you finished your glass of water, "okay. I'll just... leave you to it then"

  "What?" he scoffed, "I didn't mean it li-- you're not gonna stay and talk to my mom? You know she loves you more than she loves me"

  "Well, I am very lovable," you teased, smiling at him until your headache forced you to stop, "but I don't want to intrude or anything. I'll just grab my phone and get an Uber so I can head home"

  "Stop it," he huffed, turning off the burner and walking over to you, "I'll drive you home later, just stay and chat with me and Mom" he placed his hands on your arms before his eyes focused on your own and you found yourself unable to resist his insistence; your pursed smile giving it away before you could

  "Fine," you finally said, "I'll stay."

  "Good" he smirked, turning back to grab you a pancake, practically tossing the plate to you. When his mom finally Facetimed him, he was in the other room so you were forced to greet her first

  "Hey, Lena!" you exclaimed

  "(Y/N)! Darling! How are you?" she asked, her smile so much like her sons

  "I'm good, how are you?"

  "I'm good! Thank you for asking," she smiled, looking past you for Jake, "now, where is my son?"

  "He's probably off puking somewhere," you joked, "he really can't handle his alcohol in his old age"

  "His tolerance must have lowered since moving to Canada"

  "Especially when the actual alcohol percentages are so low compared to Sweden"

  "I'm disappointed in him" she laughed

  "Me too!" you added, laughing with her before Jake finally walked into frame, standing behind you with his arms on either side of you and his chin resting on the top of your head

  "Alright you two," he smirked, "stop making fun of me"

  "It's your fault," you teased, tilting your head so you were looking up at him directly, "not being in the room and all"

  "When will I learn?" he joked, looking down at you before making a funny face

  "Never. You'll never learn. You're impossible" you laughed, sticking your tongue out at him as he pushed your shoulder and sat down in the seat beside you

  "You two are so sweet" Lena smirked

  "Ma..." Jake sighed

  "We are sweet, aren't we?" you replied, noticing both Lena and Jacob shake their heads; granted, with different expressions on their face

  "It's not--" he started, exasperated after having clearly had this conversation with his mom more than once

  "What's wrong?" you asked, confused

  "I think you're the most adorable couple I've ever seen, honestly" Lena admitted and you scoffed, a blush creeping into your cheeks

  "Oh, whoa," you smiled, "Jake, have you been going around telling your parents we're dating?"

  "No" he sighed, closing his eyes lightly as if he was embarrassed

  "I've been trying to get him to ask you out for months now but he won't do it" she teased

  "Well, he wouldn't," you said, looking between the mother and son, "because we're just friends. He wouldn't want to ruin that"

  "Alright mom," he said, over the back and forth, "enough of this conversation. I've got to take (Y/N) home, okay? Love you, thanks for the chat"

  "Hey, Jacob!" Lena yelled before he could end the call, "we haven't spoken, don't hang up on me like that"

  "I'll just.. go wait outside" you whispered, watching him sit down in front of his computer to await the disappointed words that his mom would soon say to him. You waited outside for a few minutes before checking if his truck was unlocked, sitting on the step when you saw that it wasn't and realizing that if you tried to open the door, the alarm would go off. It was another hour before Jacob finally came outside to meet you

  "Sorry about that" he sighed

  "That's okay. She called to talk to you, I'd be upset too if someone tried to hang up on me when I specifically called t--"

  "Yeah, I get it," he said through bared teeth, "let's just go, okay? I have to be at practice soon" you furrowed your brow but got into the passenger seat, looking at him take a deep breath before starting the car. You thought about the words his mother used when she spoke about you and Jacob. You two are so sweet, the most adorable couple I've ever seen, I've been trying to get him to ask you out for months. It was all kind of odd to you. Not only that Lena had said it, or that she and Jake had clearly had the conversation before, but that he was so irritated by the whole interaction. Why was he so upset? you thought to yourself. Did he think you were embarrassed? Did he think that you would be hurt that he had never agreed to take you out on a date? Or was there something that he had said to Lena that he didn't want you to hear?

  "Jake?" you said, as he drove through the city silently but he didn't respond. Soon enough, he pulled up outside of your apartment building and you hesitated before finally jumping out of the car, with just enough time to clear the door before Jake sped away from you. What the fuck? you scoffed, heading inside in hopes of clearing your head. You spent the day racking your brain about what could have gotten Jake so upset but nothing came to mind; nothing you said was rude, or at least you didn't think it was, and everything was true, so what was his deal?

  "Tell me exactly what happened?" your friend, Susie, asked from the other end of the phone after you had explained the morning to her

  "Again?" you whined

  "Yes, again, I need to know if you're missing something"

  "We went for drinks last night, for his birthday, with his friends. We all laughed and had a good time. I drank too much, stayed at his place, in separate rooms. When I woke up, we joked around like we always do, he gave me some aspirin and made some pancakes before his mom called from Sweden" you exclaimed, smirking to yourself a little while you thought of the conversation you and Lena had before Jake came back into the room. "She loves me, so we joked about Jake a bunch but then he came into the room, stood behind me and rested his chin on my head. I looked up at him and we teased each other a bit more. Lena said we were sweet, I said yeah of course but Jake seemed to.. argue with her? I don't know, Lena kept going saying that we made a cute couple but I corrected her, saying we were just friends. My exact words were to Jake 'have you been going around telling your parents we're dating?' to which he said No and then Lena said she's been trying to get him to ask me out for a while but he's always said no"

  "And what did you say...?" Susie interjected, her tone telling you that she was hearing something that you clearly weren't

  "I said that he wouldn't ask me out because we were just friends," you replied plainly. It was the truth, what was wrong with that? "and that he wouldn't want to ruin that"

  "He wouldn't?" she questioned with a scoff before continuing, "fine. What happened after that?"

  "Things got weird and tense. I let them talk alone and then he drove me home in a weird mood. He barely talked to me, he barely even looked at me!"

  "(Y/N)..." she sighed, "(Y/N), (Y/N), (Y/N)..."

  "What? What? What?" you scoffed in reply

  "HOW ARE YOU SO BLIND?!" she shouted through the phone, forcing you to pull it from your ear for a minute

  "What are you talking about?"

  "I've seen it for years," she said, "but I always thought you knew. But you really don't, do you?"

  "Know what? What have you seen for years?"

  "The way you'd stop everything when he called, the way you'd schedule FaceTimes like clockwork, the way he knows your favourite colour as it changes from week to week. The fact that he could have anyone he wanted, who would want him back, but he chooses to ask you to hang out with him all the time, from a different province? A different time zone?" she explained but you were still lost

  "We're friends. We like hanging out with each other and we can't really do that in person because of what's happening now. Plus, he's so busy..."

  "(Y/N)!!!" she yelled again, "COME ON!"

  "JUST SPIT IT OUT! I'm clearly not gonna get what you're trying to get me to get..."

  "He's been in love with you for years. Probably since the two of you started really getting to know each other," she said and the words hung in the air as you tried to grasp them, "but when you said that you were just friends? He probably thought that he was never going to be anything more than that to you. Maybe he thinks he's wasted his time all these years"

  "He's not in love with me" was all you could think to say

  "Yes, he is," she laughed, "and you're in love with him"

  "Now, hold on," you scoffed, "I'm pretty sure I would know if I were in love with somebody"

  "Would you?"

  "Of course I would"

  "Fine," she replied, seemingly dropping the conversation, "but he is in love with you and I think you need to talk to him about it"

  "And say what?" you asked

  "I don't know..." she said, her smirk ever present on her words, "but I'm sure you'll think of something"

  "Susi--"

  "I gotta go," she interrupted, "keep me in the loop. Love you, bye!"

  "WAIT!" you shouted to a now static line, "well what the fuck...?" you said to yourself. You were left alone with the thought that Jake might have feelings for you and the words that Susie tried to convince you were true

  "You're in love with him, too" it was nonsense. You couldn't love Jake... It was Jake. He was Jacob Markström. Was there a part of you that found him attractive? Yes. Yeah, sure but were you in love with him? No. No, there's no way.

  "FUCK!" you shouted to your empty apartment, as you paced through the living room, "why would she say that? It doesn't matter. I don't love him. I mean, he's Jake. He's just the guy who teases me for literally every move I make. So, he knows that my favourite colour changes every week, who cares? That doesn't mean anything. Sure, you knew that he loves Country music more than he's actually confessed in his interviews, but that's just what happens when you're friends with someone. And, yes, when the light hit him just right, he looked like he was covered in gold but that's not him. That's the sun... It's not like he's a god or anything, he's just got blonde hair and the sun does stuff to blonde hair..." you could feel yourself making excuses but you had to because maybe you didn't want it to be true. You couldn't be in love with him, could you? "Fuck" you sighed.

xx

Jacob's P.O.V

  You had been ignoring (Y/N) for almost a week at this point. You weren’t sure what to do or say to her knowing now, for sure, that she only thought of you as friends but you hated not having her around. She had become such an integral part of your life and not having her there just felt... wrong

  “Jake, talk to me, please!” she texted and you sighed, staring at your phone and contemplating an answer but you just couldn’t think of something to say, “JAKE! I know you’re getting these messages. Just let me talk to you please. If you don’t want to say anything fine but I need to talk to you”

  “Are you gonna leave me alone if I let you talk?” you finally gave in

  “Yes,” she sent back, “but I need to see you to say all of this...”

  “Seriously?” you scoffed

  “Yes. Seriously. Please?”

  “Fine. When are you free?”

  “Right now!” she replied quickly

  “I can’t right now. I literally just walked into the locker room, how about tomorrow?”

  “How about after practice? I can meet you at the Dome...”

  “Fine” you huffed to yourself

  “Everything okay?” Tanny asked when he heard your exasperation

  “Yeah” you sighed, holding up your phone to let him know that it was something on there

  “Great!” (Y/N) added, “I’ll see you at four?”

  “Yeah sure, fine” you tossed your phone into the shelf in your stall and rubbed your face in frustration

  “Yo, Marky...” Chris continued, noticing your stress, “seriously man, what’s going on?”

  “(Y/N) wants to meet up and ‘talk’” you replied, putting air quotes around talk

  “The girlfriend wants to break up huh?” he chirped and you scoffed, shaking your head in return

  “I’ve been ignoring her for like a week. I don’t know what to say to her... I’ve been able to hide my feelings for her for so long but she finally said to my mom, on my birthday, that all we’ll ever be is friends and, I don’t know, I just don’t know what to say to her. I don’t know if I can hide how I feel anymore”

  “She has feelings for you, too” he said

  “Yeah.. she thinks of me as a big brother”

  “No,” he countered, “she has the same feelings for you as you do for her. She’s just scared to admit it”

  “Why would she be scared to admit it?” you said dumbly

  “Because,” he smirked, “it would mean admitting that guys and girls can’t just be friends. That there’s always some kind of attraction and that sex gets in the way”

  “Sex?” you blushed

  “I’m not saying you’ve had sex or that you’re going to,” he admitted, “I’m just saying, I’ve met (Y/N) before and she’s always said that she doesn’t agree with the idea that guys and girls can’t be friends because someone always wants to sleep with someone else. But if she admits to having feelings for you, then all of that becomes... hypocritical”

  “She wouldn’t be that petty...”

  “I wouldn’t call it petty,” he said, heading back toward his stall to continue putting on his gear, “I would call it stubborn.” By the end of practice, you were looking for (Y/N) everywhere but there was no one in the stands and you figured she must have wanted to meet you in the parking lot so you could drive her somewhere private. You took a quick shower and packed up your bag, looking at your phone quickly to see if there was anything from her but your screen was clear, forcing your brow to crease in response

  “Take it easy, guys” you smiled as you made your way out of the locker room, waving to the team before catching Tanny give you a head nod. You practically ran out of the building to find (Y/N) when you saw her arguing with a security guard

  “Oh, Jake! Finally. I’ve been arguing with this guy for like an hour. He wouldn’t let me in!” she explained through gritted teeth

  “It’s fine. Thank you,” you said to the guard, pulling her away from him and toward your car, “what is wrong with you? You can’t argue with Security, you’re tiny. You’re not a threat, you just look like a chihuahua”

  “Ha ha” she replied sarcastically

  “Am I taking you somewhere to talk or what’s going on?” you spat

  “Do you wanna go somewhere?” she asked

  “I wanna know what you wanna talk about and then maybe I can decide if we should go somewhere” you admitted, stomping off to your car

  “I wanna talk about us” she whimpered as she caught up to you. You caught her eye for just a second before shaking your head

  “Get in the car” you scoffed and she did as you told her. The two of you were silent for a while before (Y/N) tried to get you to start talking but you shushed her, keeping the ride silent aside from the radio until you got to relatively empty part of Prince’s Island Park. “Alright,” you said sternly as you slammed the door shut, “talk”

  “I...” she hesitated, closing the door lightly

  “What?”

  “I never--”

  “Never meant to hurt me?” you interrupted thinking you were finishing her thought

  “I never wanted to be with you...” she admitted and you scoffed in return

  “Wow... thanks. Glad we could have this talk”

  “No, wait, Jake, stop,” she sighed, “I didn’t mean it like that. I didn’t realize how you felt until like a week ago. Apparently, everyone else around me knew but I was too stupid to see it. I thought we both wanted the same thing”

  “And that was to never be with each other?”

  “I thought we just wanted a friend”

  “Because I can’t get my own friends?”

  “Because I didn’t think you thought of me like that” she shouted

  “Why not?” you exclaimed

  “You never really did anything to make me think otherwise!”

  “Sure I did!”

  “Jake... come on. You never did anything differently...”

  “I drove you places” you tried and she scoffed

  “Oh no, you’re right,” she teased, “how could I not have known?”

  “How about me calling on Valentine’s Day?”

  “How was I supposed to know that was anything other than you having a day off?” It was a fair point, actually. She knew that you’d often lose track of days when you were on the road and, sometimes, you’d miss holidays altogether

  “I never forgot your birthday!” you said as if that proved something

  “And?”

  “And... you should’ve known then”

  “Jake, it doesn’t matter,” she sighed, “the point is that I didn’t notice until now.”

  “So what?” you asked, “you wanted to talk to tell me that you never wanted to be with me? I don’t get why you couldn’t just wait for me to come to you or why you had to stop everything for this”

  “Jake..”

  “I mean no, you didn’t stop everything but you might as well have”

  “Jake...” you heard her say, trying to get you to stop but you continued rambling

  “But that’s what I do. For you. I drop everything as soon as you call or text because you need me and I like that you need me, so I stop and run to you”

  “Jacob!”

  “WHAT?”

  “I LOVE YOU, TOO” she shouted over you, her eyes closing softly when she realized how loud she was. “I didn’t realize it until I looked back at everything and I didn’t think it was actually how I felt because, I mean, it’s you...” she chuckled, “and it’s me. We couldn’t be an ‘us’ but the more I thought about it, the more I wanted there to be an ‘us.‘ I knew you were mad, you weren’t taking my calls or responding to my texts -- even though I saw that you had read them -- and I didn’t want to make things worse but I hated not having you around to tell me that I burnt my pizza, again, or that I should eat more fish or that I was a terrible tour guide. I hated not hearing your voice everyday or seeing your smile,” you began walking toward her as she continued to ramble, your heart warm with each word that left her lips, “I was always confused why you weren’t with anyone and why I was happy that you never were but when I figured it out, everything made sense. You finally made sense...” she stopped when you stood in front of her, closing any space between the two of you

  “You done?” you asked with a smirk

  “I-I think so...” she stammered as your hands crept to the sides of her neck, your thumb pushing her chin up so you could lean down and capture her lips slowly. She welcomed your lips as if they had been missing from hers for a lifetime but her arms stayed at her sides for a minute longer until it was too much for her and she let her hands clutch your wrists while your tongue glided across her lip to gain access inside her mouth. She let out a small moan when her mouth opened, earning a smirk from you before your hands fell from her neck, down her body, until they cupped her ass and you picked her up; her legs instinctively wrapping your hips, mirroring her arms wrapping around your neck. You set her down on the hood of your car while your tongues intertwined with each other and her fingers tangled in your hair. It took a while for either of you to break the kiss, leaving her chest heaving as she tried to her breath

  “I’ve wanted to do that for so long” you laughed as her head fell against your chest and you kissed her forehead

  “And?” she asked, lifting her head back up to look at you

  “It was better than I thought it would be”

  “Gee,” she scoffed, pushing your shoulder playfully, “thanks”

  “I think we just need to keep doing it” you teased

  “I can do that”

  “Good” you whispered, leaning back in to press a kiss to her lips as she smiled against your lips

  “Maybe we should go somewhere private” she whispered

  “Sure” you replied, distracted by the feel of her skin under your fingertips, before you moved your lips to her neck, eliciting small whimpers from her

  “Jake...” she moaned and you hummed against her skin, smirking to yourself, “somewhere private...”

  “Fine,” you smirked, reluctantly agreeing with you before picking her up again to carry her back into the passenger seat. You sat in the drivers seat but didn’t make any moves, half hoping that she’d pull you into the backseat and say that this was ‘private enough’ but she didn’t do that. Instead, she leaned across the centre console and kissed your cheek

  “Let’s go” she whispered in your ear, making you smile before your hand found its way to her knee, stationing itself there throughout the drive. She stopped you from moving your hand further up your thigh by grabbing it, holding it with both of hers

  “Hey,” you whispered, bringing her hand to your lips, “we’re gonna have a lot of fun together”

  “Yeah,” she smiled, “I think so, too.”

#Jacob Markström #Jacob Markstrom #Jacob Markstrom Imagine #Jacob Markstrom fic #Jacob Markström Imagine #Jacob Markström fic #NHL #Hockey #Calgary Flames #Hockey Fic #Hockey Imagine #Vancouver Canucks #Flames #Canucks #Friends to Lovers #masterlist #the other masterlist

[thetaoofbetty]

i haven’t been ignoring the betty asks y’all sent, i’m just scattered and also i have a tendency to accidentally send asks to drafts or leave them there when i’m scheduling them. so uh, there’s a good shot they’re in there if it’s been awhile. 

👇

Hey sweetheart thanks for being a spokesperson for Betty .—is this a paid position? i have my eyes on some new shoes. and, oh my god, some youtuber was like buy this skin stuff and i was like yeah! sure! and then i did and then i realized i love it and it does good things for my skin and it’s like, $50 a jar for these little magic pads? wtf? why would i do that to myself?

(it’s like zoskin or soskin? i don’t know but it’s good shit and i’m mad about it)

I have something to ask may be you can throw some light . Betty casually exploring her feelings as a diversion with Archie is wrong and having a platonic relationship with her coworker glen ( though he is sus) is also wrong for many in BH fandom . They don’t even post gifs of blenn interactions except for the slap/stab . But happy making jughead explore a relationship with tabitha be it a friendship or a fling or even a long term .—glen is a bag of dicks! i honestly didn’t even see many gifs of the betty/glen stuff tbh. and i think we know that some of the multi-shipping comes from a hypocritical place, on both sides i’m guessing. some people just like tabitha. some people just like it. some people just want betty to hurt. some people just want someone to take care of jughead and will pretend they didn’t say nasty shit about betty when bughead is back together. some people ship for clout. some people ship for spite. some people cling to the purity of women and think betty should be waiting around for him. the loud people that are being assholes? they’re not the majority, doll. most of us are just doing our bughead thing. 

just ship what you like and the rest will take care of itself. 

They are happy to multi ship jughead with anyone but hate Betty if she does . They want bughead endgame but j/abitha to be a short term but why can’t they tolerate B/archie for a while ( writers gave Archie as the only option for Betty even there are so many hot boys available in the riverdale ) .—are we starting a beggie rights campaign? 👀 wait, who else is hot in riverdale? this is what happens when women are generally more physically attractive to you than men. i’m thinking. wait, fangs is bi, right? i’m not saying rebound for him and he’s better than glen but i’m not not saying it. where is munroe? 

i think with b/archie, the issue is that it’s a lot of people’s notp. and i respect that! i would probably be unbearable if i had to watch my notp onscreen. i mean, on my blog and privately only but yes, i would be making faces all the time about it. so i feel them on that, you know? and from a narrative perspective, they had to close the b/a story so it sort of had to be archie. they wrote themselves into that corner a bit and they needed to do the work to close it. which they did in a more brutal way than even i would have! 

They also want tabitha to be an anchor for jughead but Betty has to be a lonely sad girl who needs therapy to get away from her trauma but share her feelings only with jughead . They all forgot that Betty is the one who showed concern on jughead since beginning - throwing a party for him , helping his dad , serpents , with his mom and even stonewall preppies . Just one ba kiss erased all her good doings for jughead and they all need a new girl to help him .—people who have decided they don’t like betty have certainly rewritten bughead history, haven’t they? betty made a stupid mistake, true. but to throw out all of her concern and care for him for 4 seasons is ridiculous. listen, i can’t explain it to you because i don’t know how to logically get to the conclusion that a mistake when you’re 17-18 makes you the worst person in the world who never loved the boyfriend you were with for years. it’s absurd. i’m starting to think that some of these people only see betty insomuch as they see her as an extension of jughead and if she’s not being useful to him and only him, they consider her dead weight. 

still a them problem, doll. 

Jughead already had a live in gf although it’s toxic and without a proper breakup he slept with a rando lady at the bar . Betty should not even spend a space with Glenn if she does so she is a cheater . Above all Atleast jughead got someone to check on him now but Betty got none atm . Even she gets abducted in the lonely highway on her chase none will look for her . Since beginning she is fighting all her trials alone .—sigh. poor betty and jughead, right? they’re both in such bad places right now. betty and jughead can both sleep with whoever they want if they’re both single. but who they’re sleeping with isn’t really the issue, it’s their current trauma, pain, and unresolved feelings for each other. which i think will be the focus of 5b for them so fingers crossed we can endure the angst. 

and you’re right, she’s very alone right now. i hope that changes after the hiatus. 

Sorry for the long rant just wanted to vent out my feelings . Forever love for Betty Cooper .—💛👑

#besos! #anti-barchie #anti-jabitha #anonymous #bh

[burningdarkfire]

shadow and bone thoughts i wrote like a week ago and then forgot about in m drafts:

i found this show WAY more compelling than i thought i was going to. i have overall pretty meh/negative feelings towards the grisha trilogy but honestly barely remember any details. i loved the six of crows duology tho so i went into this show really tentatively, but the vibes were absolutely impeccable

i think a lot of the show is actually under-explained tbh, like the six of crows characters don’t make a lot of sense and a lot of the world-building is lacking if you haven’t read the books. but i have read the books so it was great to see so many of these concepts come to life and overall i was very satisfied

randomly tho i don’t like that they made alina emit a cool light a lot of the time?? like this is such a nitpick lmao but i just always thought her light would look warm. like y’know, the sun

i also don’t remember it being a thing that alina was constantly experiencing racism so idk if they added that to the show?? personally i don’t mind it but i wish it mattered more (like have her contend with what it means to be a saint/savior of people who have never accepted her)

but i love mal so much more in this adaptation. idk if it’s my bad memory but most other reviews i’ve seen seem to agree that they made him way less jealous and way more palatable this time around. the “love triangle” felt way more tolerable

listen i don’t ship the darkling with alina because of, y’know, everything about him, but i have to admit that i really vibe with him as a character. like he always wears all black and even only lets black horses carry him around. i just think he’s neat

i didn’t think i had a mental image of kaz in my mind but as soon as he showed up on the screen i was like “oh it totally checks out that i’m obsessed with him”. anyway him and inej are the only valid romance in this show. i still haven’t found a gif of this scene but when she hands him a bunch of her knives as she gets ready to perform at the bar or whatever? intimacy

the scenes at the little palace felt particularly empty? like i seem to remember from the books it felt a lot more like we got to actually experience her going to “magic school” but i guess there was so much plot to get through in 8 episodes lol

tbh tho i definitely remember the second book was my least favourite by FAR so we’ll have to see how they adapt that

#liveblogging tv #shadow and bone #The Grisha Trilogy #six of crows #my posts

[msilwrites]

Marriage

A/N: There’s a pile of work in my desk... having a bit of writer’s block too. Maybe give me a bit of ideas? hehehe I mean... what do you wanna see? message me in the comments or directly. I’d love to hear from you! 

I forgot to mention earlier, a part of the female lead’s character has based on ‘Fleabag’ (the dry-wit part only...)

This story is the continuation of ‘The Beginning of A Marriage’

Genre: Action/ Drama / Comedy

Sandro Balestreri - Michele Morrone

Tilly McLeod - is an original female character

Will McLeod - Liam Neeson

Henry McLeod - Henry Cavill

                                                       Marriage

After what seemed to be an eternity, to Sandro’s relief, the interview was finally over. He watched as Tilly and the journalist, Lauren converse. The latter was giving the former a peek on the article that will be published.

“Sandro? do you wanna see?” Tilly called, holding the draft article. 

“What for?” Sandro asked. Every time he was interviewed, never did have a look at drafts articles like Tilly does. It appears that she did have some sort of power for her to have such privilege

“It’s alright... I am sure whatever is written will be good,” was his quick reply. He was not interested in whatever was written in it. He was sure Tilly would have already asked the publication to modify anything that doesn’t sound right.

                                                         **********

“It is my great honour and happy privilege to introduce to you, Mr and Mrs Alessandro and Mathilda Balestreri! Let us raise our glasses and offer them the warmest welcome!” TIlly’s brother, Henry announced from outside the courtyard of the villa where the reception is ongoing.

Much to Tilly’s surprise, Sandro’s arm snaked around her waist, and pulled her closer to him, as they got out of the double doors. The guests cheered loudly and raised the glasses as they entered the opulent courtyard.

When they reached their table, Sandro, trying to be a gentleman, pulls the chair for Tilly to sit on.

“Thank you, Sandro” was her quick response, before she sits down in relief. It had been a long day, and she was hungry. She stifled a yawn and stopped herself from gobbling all of the food that was slowly placed in front of her by the servers. She knew the food will be good because she was the one who tasted them and chose it all by herself.

“Buon Appetito, Everyone!” Henry announces, before going back to his respective table.

Tilly secretly thank the gods, as she picked up the aperitif and drank it. It’s sweet taste, turning acidic as it went down her throat, an obvious indication of hunger. When she finished the aperitif, she tried to reach of the antipasto at the centre of the table, but stopped when Sandro placed a few finger foods on her plate.

“You must be really hungry to drink your apertivo at one go... eat... you’ve worked hard...” he said, referring to her organizing the engagement and wedding almost single handedly. Besides, his brother-in-law had warned him earlier never to let Tilly go hungry. Henry claimed that ‘A hungry Tilly is not a nice Tilly’.

She smiled at him and uttered a word of thank you, before munching the food the her husband placed on her plate.

When the main course came, much to Sandro’s surprise, it was a familiar dish from childhood that his Nonna cooked for him. He looked at his wife and wondered how did she ever get hold of a recipe that only belonged to the family.

“Is there a problem?” She asked, stopping half-way her meal, upon seeing her husband look at her.

“How did you--” before he can finish, she quickly interjected.

“Oh, I asked your Nonna about this” she said, pertaining to his grandmother who sat with his Tio and Tia, enjoying her meal. 

“But why?” he asked, still confused. 

“Why what?” was her reply.

“Why would you do that?” 

“Oh... well, I was hoping that you’ll have something to be happy about at the end of the day...”

“ But I am happy...” he said, it felt weird that despite this being an arranged marriage, he felt happy.

“Oh, then good!” Tilly smiled, before slicing her fish.

“ Tilda? why are you doing this?” he asked once more, using a name that her parents call her when they have something serious to tell her. But to her surprise, it sounded different when Sandro calls her ‘Tilda’. It had some sort of affection there that she couldn’t point out.

“ Do what? you mean eat? because I’m hungry, Sandro!” was her quick reply, before putting a piece of the fish in her mouth.

Sandro chuckled, but didn’t let dry-wit of hers distract him. “I mean why would you do this?” he said, pointing at every detail, and the fish dish he loved so much as a child. 

“Oh, that’s because I am your wife... you may not love me, but we are a family now, and It may be an arranged union but it never meant that we shouldn’t be considerate or be hostile or that we couldn’t be nice to each other, or have harmony, Am I right?” was her answer. “Besides, it’s a small thing”. she added.

Sandro smiled, and nodded. Satisfied with his wife’s answer. Though she wasn’t 'tempting’ enough for him, nor could he really imagine himself in bed with her and get physically intimate, it never meant that they couldn’t be civil and cordial towards each other. After all, marriage is not purely based on lust or physical attraction for it to work.

The time came for their first dance, Tilly looked at him “You know, you don’t have to do this?” she mentions, as she held up her hand, signalling her brother Henry from afar to hold the announcement of the bride and groom’s first dance.

“Tilda, it’s not a problem, come...” he says, holding his hand out for her to take. 

She looks at him and tried to peruse the expression on his face. He seemed sincere and not wanting to embarrass him, she finally takes his hand and allows him to lead her to the dance floor.

The piano began playing the introduction of the song sweetly with light notes, and then the orchestra followed after, with cellos giving depth to the melody.

‘We’ve only just begun....’

Sandro arched a brow, hearing the familiar tune. “This is an old song?!” he states, as he took Tilly into his arms and swayed her into a waltz. 

“Yes it is...” was her simple answer.

“Why did you choose this?” he was curious. After all he knew the meaning of the song.

“Well... I thought it was appropriate...” was her quick reply. She knew he’d be asking him that.

“Why so?”

“Well, I don’t think I or you can imagine dancing to cheesy love song, or just a simple love song. So I picked something neutral and classy?” it was a reasonable response that he actually smiled in agreement. After all, they literally ‘just begun’. 

Feeling a little bit mischievous, without telling Tilly, Sandro suddenly pulled her a little bit closer and without warning lifts, her a few inches off the ground and, spun her around the dancefloor. Her eyes narrowed at him, and he even caught her rolling her eyes. Afterwards, he abruptly puts her down, expecting her to lose her balance, and that he would have to catch her. However, much to his surprise, Tilly gracefully lands and spins, the long hem of her trumpet dress swirled elegantly with her. She looked elegant and lovely, and Sandro was fascinated, not only that, it also caught the attention of the guest, which made them cheer and applause. 

(This GIF doesn’t do it justice, but she did twirl)

Sandro smiles and gently pulls her back into his arms, the rest of the guest, finally joining the open dance floor and crowding it.

 “I didn’t know that you were such a great dancer?!” he comments.

“ No, I don’t know how to really dance... I don’t dance much...” she said honestly. In fact, she only recently learned how to waltz and its proper footwork. 

“Really now... then what was that just now?”

“That’s called ‘self-preservation’...” she said dryly, and he laughed. She did her best to save herself from hitting her husband’s face with her forehead or falling down flat on her face on the dance floor, embarrassing herself. And she did it quite well.

“ I’m sure you had a bit of practice!” he teased.

“Right... three times a day before the wedding, with my imaginary partner...” was her dry response, but this made his throw his head back laughing, making other at the dancefloor stare at him, wondering what made him laugh so loud. He can’t believe that his actually enjoying his wife’s deadpan humour.                                   

                                                         **********  

Sandro sighed in relief, as they bid their goodbyes to their guest. When all had left, him and his wife walked back to their ancestral home. They were to remain there for a day, and return back to his home the next. In fact, his villa wasn’t far from the ancestral house. But he was just too tired to pack-up and drive back with his wife, and he was sure it was the same with her.

Because Tilly had gone up to her room first, the hallways were quiet and empty. The servants were still busy packing up the reception area. So he decided to get himself a little snack in the the kitchen. Much to his surprise, he found Tilly there, already dressed in her dark blue chinoiserie pajamas. She looked and smelled fresh like citrus, an obvious indication that she had just showered. Her face was bare and had no makeup on, despite that, she didn’t look ghastly at all.

Sandro smiles as he approached and sat at the adjacent chair. He looked at what she was munching on and pulled his bow tie in one go.

He looked at one corner to find hot milk with vanilla and cinnamon, and a few slices of toasted bread with jam and peanut butter. She had been considerate enough without telling him and he was grateful. 

“Thank you, Tilda!” he says, as he unbuttons two buttons of his crisp white shirt. Tilly looked at him and nodded, and went back to eating afterwards. 

“We’re going back at 11 tomorrow, so if your not yet done packing, tell me, so we can delay it...” he says as he takes the remaining bread and milk. 

“That’s fine... but I was hoping I can have my breakfast first, would that be alright?” she requested. She was not a jovial person in the morning without her breakfast.

“Yes, of course!” he says, finding his wife’s request reasonable. “What time do you usually wake up? and what do you want for breakfast?” he asked, suddenly his brother-in-law’s advice crossing his mind. ‘A hungry Tilly is not a nice Tilly...’

“I’m fine with anything, as long as I get my cup of tea... preferably lapsang suchong” she mentions.

“Not earl grey?” he said, a little surprised. It was not the typical british choice.

“No, I need the kick in the morning...  I brought some tea bags if you don’t have them...” she says, as she eats her last piece of bread. 

“You came prepared...” Sandro chuckled. 

“ Of course, If I won’t get my kick,  I’ll kick you in the morning instead...” she jokingly and Sandro laughed. “Well, it’s past my bedtime, I’ll see you tomorrow morning at 9:30...” she adds, and stands up from her sit.

“Good night, my lady...” he says with a fake english accent, mimicking Tilly’s. 

Tilly replied with a grunt and brushed it off as she left the kitchen. He watched his wife as she headed back upstairs to her room. Though this marriage is not what he expected, he was very sure that it would not be so boring and that Tilly will be a good wife.

By the way, if you want to read the previous story, here it is, ‘The Beginning of a Marriage’

A/N:  I will be editing this because I probably have made a number of grammatical errors. I hope you enjoyed the story. FYI. It will be a series of one shots. Guys, if you have ideas, I’d love to hear them... currently, I’m having writer’s block (TT____TT)

#Mafia #Omerta #IronLady #Iron Lady #Independent Woman #Michele Morrone #Michele Morrone Face Claim #Michele Morrone Fan Fiction #Michele Morrone FanFiction #Michele Morrone x OFC #Michele Morrone x OC #Michele Morrone x Original Female Character #Original Story #Massimo Torricelli #Massimo Torricelli Face Claim #Massimo Toricelli Inspired #Drama #Action #Comedy

[etherealwaifgoddess]

Maybe I Am? - Chpt.2

Characters: Steve Rogers x Bucky Barnes

Summary: Steve takes a risk and the guys go out on a “date”. Master list HERE

Content Warning: first “date” cuteness, making out 

Word Count: 2.5k

Author’s Note: Hello lovelies! Today is one of those days where I am eternally grateful for having a “draft” option. Because honestly, ya girl is exhausted. So yay for drafts! Enjoy chapter two. I’m honestly too tired to give ya’ll a better note right now. :-\   XOXO - Ash

Chapter Two

Steeeeve [9:32:08PM]: Hey, it’s Steve.

Bucky Barnes [9:32:47PM]: hi steve

Steeeeve [9:33:15PM]: I had a lot of fun meeting up today.

Bucky Barnes [9:33:39PM]: me 2

Steve huffed staring at Bucky’s second generic response. He was usually so much more lively. Steve took a long sigh and started texting what he needed to get off his chest.

Steeeeve [9:35:21PM]: I’m sorry if I came off as confused or misleading. 

Steeeeve [9:35:26PM]: I didn’t mean to do that. But I am kind of confused right now. 

Steeeeve [9:35:35PM]: I spent so much time liking the idea of you, and you in real life was even more amazing than I could have expected. But I’ve never dated a guy before and I never expected to want to. And now I think I do. 

Steeeeve [9:35:49PM]: I’m sorry. This probably isn’t any less confusing. I’m apparently really bad at this lol. I guess what I’m trying to say is, will you go out on a maybe-date with me? I want to try and see how I feel. I don’t want to string you on, but I want to try.

Bucky stared at the flurry of texts coming into his phone. Damn, serial texter much? He read and re-read Steve texts a few times, chewing nervously his bottom lip, trying to find a response. He wasn’t willing to let his heart get trample on again, not after Brock. But he really liked Steve and if there was a chance Steve might like him too, it was too good to pass up. He had a distinct feeling he was going to regret it, but he tapped out the only honest response he could think of.

Bucky Barnes [9:44:13PM]: i like u 2 steve. i get that ur confused. lets try ur maybe-date and see how it goes? if it goes well cool, if not no hard feelings. k?

Steeeeve [9:45:20PM]: Thank you. Really, thank you for being so great about this. Can we get dinner one night this week? 

Bucky Barnes [9:45:55PM]: im free any nite but tues

Steeeeve [9:46:10PM]: I can do Friday night around 7. There’s a really great Mexican place a few blocks over from the gym if you’re willing to schelp all the way over to Park Slope. 

Bucky Barnes [9:46:31PM]: sounds good. see u then

Bucky sighed, putting his phone away into the pocket of his favorite old hoodie. He had a date. A maybe-date, but for some reason that felt good enough for him at the moment.

xxXxx

Steve discovered the best part of being able to text Bucky wasn’t just that their chatting was no longer limited to when they were both near a computer, but that they now had a full range of emojis, memes, and GIFs at their disposal. He could now send Bucky random funny things he found during the day and he felt a little proud when Bucky would send back a string of laughing emojis, knowing he had brightened the other man’s day a little. He had worried with their maybe-date looming things might be a little awkward but if anything they were going even better. By the time Friday came Steve was genuinely looking forward to their maybe-date. He had even gone out on Wednesday before his shift at the gym to pick up a set of clothes that were distinctly not gym wear. He couldn’t remember the last time he bought a button up shirt but he had to admit the blue and white checked shirt looked nice on him. He was trying not to stress over the maybe-date but he felt this gnawing need to know, definitively, if he was truly interested in Bucky, or just the fantasy of WinterBae. 

Steve raced home Friday to shower and change, hoping he’d left himself enough time to do all that and still make it over to Los Aztecas in time. Taking the time to slick back his hair and do a quick shave, Steve was hustling out the door only to realize he’d forgotten the bottle of wine once he got outside. After a fast double back for the wine he was on his way, making it to the tiny authentic Mexican restaurant with three minutes to spare. He had barely stopped walking when he saw Bucky hopping out of an uber. Steve felt a little flutter at the sight of Bucky and he took it as a good sign. 

Bucky looked amazing in his dark skinny jeans and a silky looking black shirt. A minimalist necklace was around his throat, the simple bar resting just below the wings of his collarbones. Steve noticed Bucky had swapped out the cheery beaded bracelets he’d worn on Sunday for a set of sleek silver and leather ones. He looked like he belonged on the cover of a fashion magazine and Steve felt ridiculous in what Sam had teased was his bible salesman outfit. 

“Heya.” Bucky greeted warmly, extending an arm for a half hug.

“Hey,” Steve echoed, hugging back with his free hand. “Ready for the best Mexican food of your life?” 

“Definitely, let’s go.” 

Steve led Bucky inside the little restaurant, its cozy decor making the place feel intimate instead of cramped. Steve had called ahead for reservations so they were whisked off to a table as soon as he gave the concierge his name. Bucky was looking around fascinated, taking in all the colorful decorations. 

“It’s really something, huh?” Steve prompted with a smile.

Bucky nodded in agreement, “Yeah, it’s beautiful. So much art packed into so little space. Thanks for bringing me here, Steve.” 

“It’s one of my favorite places in the area, mostly for the tacos but also for the art. I got my degree in fine art before I switched gears and went back to get certified in exercise science.” 

“That’s quite a switch.” Bucky laughed.

“Art will always be my first love, but it’s not exactly profitable. And once I got healthier I knew I wanted to help other people do the same. I was really sick as a kid and didn’t hit any major growth spurts until I was almost 21. After that, I worked out a lot getting used to my new body and fell in love with the gym.” 

“Wow. I’m glad you were able to get healthier, and it’s sweet you’re trying to give back to others with that.” 

“Do you go to a gym? I won’t be offended that it’s a competitor, I swear.”  

Bucky barked out a laugh, “No. God, no. I am perfectly happy with not having abs or a totally flat stomach as long as waffles exist.” 

Steve couldn’t help his eyes dropping to Bucky’s stomach which honestly couldn’t have had more than the smallest layer of padding across it. “That’s okay too. Waffles are pretty great.” 

The waitress stopped by to uncork their wine and drop off a basket of fresh tortilla chips and salsa verde. 

“What did you bring?” Bucky asked as he took the glass of white wine Steve had poured him.

“Albariño. A waitress here recommended it a few years ago and now it’s my go to. It’s light and crisp, and kinda citrusy? I’m not a wine snob but it’s damn good and goes really well with tacos. I hope you like white wine, I forgot to ask.” 

“I’ve yet to meet a white wine I didn’t like, so you’re safe.” Bucky sipped the wine and his eyes lit up, “Oh yeah, this is good. I’ll be hunting this down next time I go shopping.” 

“You can get it over at the little wine boutique near the farmers market in Sunset Park. They always have this kind.”

“Nice, I’ll have to check it out. My sister will love this the next time she visits.” 

The conversation flowed as the basket of tortilla chips disappeared, only ebbing when their platters arrived and they tucked into their food. Steve had ordered his usual taco platter while Bucky opted for the taquitos platter, an assortment of slow roasted meats wrapped in thin crispy shells. He let out a groan at his first bite that had Steve’s heart stuttering in his chest. The maybe-date had mostly felt like a friend-date up until that point, though Steve had to admit there was a tiny flutter of like there too. But the noise Bucky made and the expression on his face had Steve thinking anything but friends only thoughts. 

Bucky caught Steve staring at him as he licked a dribble of sauce off his bottom lip. He hadn’t gotten a distinct date-date vibe from Steve but the look on the blonde’s face was priceless. Bucky thought he probably had made a similar one the first time he saw Devon Sawa in Wild America when he was 12. He had never stood a chance of being straight after that. Testing the waters a little bit, Bucky smirked at Steve, making it abundantly clear he’d been caught staring. Steve flushed and Bucky’s smile widened. There might be hope after all.

Steve wasn’t sure if it was the wine or too many tacos but by the time dinner was over he felt glued to his seat. He hated knowing the evening was coming to an end and wanted to do something, anything, to prolong it. The waitress dropped off the sales receipt with a pen and Steve tried to steady his hand as he signed his name. He knew he needed to muster up his courage or he would be saying goodbye to Bucky in mere minutes.

“Thanks again for paying.” Bucky said after draining the last of his wine, “This was really nice.” 

“It was.” Steve agreed, seeing his chance, “You know, I have another bottle of this wine back at my place if you wanna come over for a bit. Maybe you could help me find that movie app you were telling me about for the Fire Stick?”

“Sure, I’m happy to help. I won’t say no to more of that wine either.” Bucky stamped down the hopeful cheering in his chest that Steve was inviting him over. The poor guy probably didn’t mean that anything would happen other than wine and tech help but Bucky could always dream. He would be respectful though, he resolved to himself. He’d never dated a guy who was questioning his sexuality before and Bucky didn’t want to push too far too soon. Bucky figured it was best to let Steve set the pace and just hope his heart didn’t get run over in the process. 

Steve’s apartment was only four blocks from the restaurant, a second floor walk up in an old converted brownstone. It was nicer than Bucky’s little hole in the wall apartment and even had a small second bedroom that Steve had set up as a home office. After giving Bucky a quick tour, he led them to the kitchen to pull another bottle of Albariño out of his cabinet. Passing a stemless glass to Bucky, he poured them both a generous amount of wine which they carried out to the living room so Bucky could show Steve the app he’d mentioned during dinner. A few clicks and a quick download later, Steve had access to a ridiculous amount of free movies. 

“This is so great.” Steve praised, clicking through the different options. “Oh I love this one!”

“Hm?” Bucky looked up from his glass to see Steve hovering over 10 Things I Hate About You. “Oh that one is great. I remember wanting to be Patrick Verona when I grew up after seeing that.” 

Steve gave an amused side eyed look at Bucky. “I think you did a decent job.” he teased, throwing on the movie out of sheer impulse.

Bucky laughed, “You’re sweet. But god knows I’ll never be that smooth.” 

“You’re better off than me. I’ve been told I’m hopeless on more than one occasion.” 

“You hold your own, Rogers.” Bucky assured him, reaching over to take Steve’s hand in his, stroking the pad of his thumb over the ridges of Steve’s knuckles. 

Steve blinked slowly, looking from their joined hands up to Bucky’s face. It felt good, that fluttery feeling stirring in his gut at the contact. He gave Bucky a smile and squeezed his hand gently, making sure his consent was clear.

The movie rolled and they sipped their wine as Patrick did his best to woo Kat. Bucky slowly nudged closer to Steve until he was pressed against his side, his head leaning against Steve’s shoulder. He was warm and comfortable and completely unwilling to move by the time Letters to Cleo played into the credits. 

“I can’t believe it’s after eleven already.” Steve yawned. 

Bucky yawned next, set off by Steve’s. “Same. I had a really good night, Steve.” He looked up curiously, wondering if Steve had found any new revelations on their maybe-date. 

“Me too. This was… really nice. Hey, um, I know this was a maybe-date, but maybe um…”

Bucky shifted so he could sit up taller and face Steve while he fumbled for words.

“I, um, I’d really like to kiss you right now.” Steve blurted out, looking equal parts excited and terrified. 

Bucky’s smile was like the sun. “Okay, yeah.” Bucky reached out to cup Steve’s cheek, going agonizingly slow to give Steve a chance to bolt if he needed it. He leaned up a little and Steve craned his neck down, tentatively meeting Bucky’s lips with his own. 

A soft press, a pause, another soft press, and then the kiss deepened, Bucky’s lips parting to slot Steve’s with his. Steve let out a choked off moan, unable to believe what he was doing and how good it felt. He let a hand rake through Bucky’s hair and it only made him want to feel more of the silky locks. The scent of cedar and teak from his cologne filled Steve’s nose and though it was very distinctly male, Steve couldn’t get enough of it. It was so much more than he could have expected but also not nearly enough. He was breathing raggedly when he finally pulled back, repressing a shudder at the well kissed expression on Bucky’s face. His full bottom lip was shining and red, his eyes heavy lidded and his chest heaving just as much as Steve’s. 

“Whoa.” Steve finally breathed out in amazement.

“Yeah, whoa.” Bucky agreed. “So does this help in sorting out if this was a date-date?”

“I think it was definitely a date-date.” 

“I’m glad. And do you think you’d want to try another date sometime?”

“When are you free next?” Steve chuckled, only half kidding. 

“Easy there, pal.” Bucky warned lightly, patting Steve’s ridiculously broad chest. “We’ll find a day again soon.” 

Steve nodded, knowing Bucky was right for wanting to take things slow. He led Bucky over to the door, giving him one last quick kiss goodbye before the brunette headed out into the early summer night. Steve was still floored by his own reactions to Bucky but it felt so right that he couldn’t agonize over it for long. 

#steve rogers #bucky barnes #stucky #stucky fanfic #stucky fanfiction #idiots in love #confused steve rogers #gay bucky barnes #modern day au #no powers

[queermil]

tagged by @andrea-lyn and @aewriting because they’re absolute sweethearts.

Rules: Time to love ourselves! Choose 5 favorite works you created in the past year (fics, arts, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2019. Tag as many creators as you want to spread the love!

i.  let me count the ways - this was such a goddamn delight to write but more than anything, i was so pleased by how much people liked it. i got so many comments about how it inspired a rewatch of the movie, or how it reminded them of watching the movie when they were younger. i loved loved writing teenage alex and the love that he got was so special to me. i never expected to love writing it as much as i did.

ii.  i'll meet you there, in the summertime - i’m bizarrely proud of this thing. writing stuff off tumblr posts/people’s tags became a thing that i did a few times and i loved how happy this little thing came out. i adore the cheesy rain scene, alex’s nice grandparents, the sweetness of the boys ;~;

iii.  have love will travel - my longest non-chaptered fic, plus i really loved writing a 5+1 fic. i hadn’t written one in a really long time and it was so fun to write. 

iv.  i don't know what to think (but i think of supernovas) - honestly i just like that i finished this thing. it sat in my drafts folder for so long and i couldn’t figure out what to do with it. this was one of those fics that just felt so so good to finally post.

v. the rec list - these are technically edits so they count and you can’t change my mind. i’ve never undergone a fandom project like this before. i can be sort of hit or miss with leaving comments on fics because i’ll finish them in a daze, exit out, and totally forgot to leave one. i wanted to be able to show people how much i appreciate their fics, as well as maybe advertise fics in a way that wasn’t weird? making a gif cover for the old astronomer and starting the list was almost a throw away idea, something i didn’t think i’d follow through wih tbh, and here we are 186 fics later. i want to keep making them as long as people keep writing beautiful fic. it’s wild that i’m more proud of that than my own fic collection (18 fics and 118,186 words) but it’s true. you guys are amazing.

idk who’s been tagged already but yooo: @usbournejez @insidious-intent @acomebackstory @indarkstars @stars-collide-for-alex-manes @manesalex

#millie talks

[r1ku]

@notchy tagged me! 🤗

🎂: May 28 !

Zodiac: Gemini ♊

Height: 5'3

Last Song I listened to: Gurenge - LiSA

I woke up thinking of this song today lol, because I'm still shocked Brendan Urie from Panic! At the Disco sang to it and watches the show lmao

Hobbies: talking to gaming pals on discord, playing mobile games, working on that webtoon recommendation document on Google doc, playing toontown rewritten, day dreaming, always typing down ideas and dreams to write or draw ONE DAY, in Google notes on my phone.

Favorite color: Purple ! 💜

Favorite Book: Coraline by Neil Gaiman

Tis the only book I have read a few times for sure. You know, I often thought I'd love to be a bookworm and wholeheartedly have several favorite books, but I'm not. I like the idea of it tho, I haven't read books in a long time. I mainly read manga and webtoons.

Last film I watched: The Grand Budapest Hotel by Wes Anderson

My friend and I have a lot of movies to check out, mainly horror flicks of korean or japanese films or martial arts films to watch. But that day he dropped this film to watch and I was able to and had never watched before actually. And we enjoyed it, it's very whimsical and comical.

I almost debated putting the last episode of kanata no astra, since it was like an hour long finale and One can watched several hours of 30 min episodes and not think of it as a movie, but when u think of an episode longer than 23 or 27 minutes, it FEELS like a movie lol even if its not 2 hours long. But nah lol

Dream Job: I haven't really, really thought about it. I've seen a few inspirational, thought provoking posts and tweet threads.

About how for some people you shouldn't make your passion your job, cuz you might end up hating your passion.

Or the one post that said they admired the character, Garry Gergich from Parks and Rec, for choosing a job that's decent pay and few but full hours, that allows him to spend time with his family.

Or the one tweet that talked about you should have several passions to look forward to like boxing or some other activity so you can spread out your feels and not be in a pit of negativity.

That said, I find myself to be a jack of all trades kind of person, I adapt well and if taught well, learn quickly to do just about anything right.

If anything, I will not think of the chains of reality and honestly answer this question focusing on dream part of dream job.

And thats to be a CEO of my own company that I made and create an animatiom company that can revolutionize the animation industry and crack the hammer of justice in various places that mistreat and mismanage and poorly pay hardworking animators and give them the lifestyle they deserve and lift people up and support them and not become a gate keeper. Da Drem *drops mic*

Meaning behind my url: I've had various urls, this url came from my bestfriend cat, who wanted the namine url, when i got her into kingdom hearts, but it's in limbo hell, I remember she waited 9 months for its release but its still like unavailable to obtain, idk now tho, that was a year ago.

I forgot what my url was before, maybe it was hong-seol and I finally, after 8 years, moved on from the spiel I had in firmly loving the character Sul, I still and always will even tho I dislike the comic's last season and how heavily the author suddenly gave us flashbacks all at once.

I told cat that KINGDOM HEARTS IS LIFE, I LOVE RIKU SO MUCH and she said "oh i was typing around and found r1ku is available" and i was like WHAT and i typed it and surely enough, it was available to my great surprise. And I am forever grateful for her and her mind. I ain't letting this go, as such its a personal blog and riku appreciation blog, I'll reblog all that I see and like.

I recently updated the mobile look, desktop look is perfect so i wont change that, but i had destiny islands gif from khnyctophiliac and that riku icon, that I have sources for in my about l sadly dont have time to update my about pages.

But I updated the icon to this destiny islands trio that has amano's kh3 manga art since it has riku in it and i love trios, from the khinsider website that posted icons ro choose from.

The bg is Phoenix Ikki from the Netflix Saint Seiya adaptation's ending, I love how dramatic that shot was with the song. I wish it could be longer, but I have no idea how people edit out credits for gif segments. I only used a quick gif making website that requires the video and can make cuts and speeds.

As for my sideblog, pink4walls, I am still, to this day enamored by f(x)'s - 4walls and especially their pink outfits in their live performance. This blog ia dedicated to hopefully making a thorough navigation system to find specific posts that inspire me to create. A creativity blog, if you will with things that caught my eye and references I want to use.

Thank you Notchy! A well deserved break from routine, helped me try to get more reblogs put there from my enormous 22k drafts, and gives people an update of sorts of me.

I tag @antheiafemme @ughliegirl @alfiethesnip

You may if you choose to, and its okay if you don't ! But first three mutuals to tag off the top of my head.

#stef talks #about me #relatable

[ain-t-bovvered]

14x10 Commentary

Zeta and Giuls scream together, and then die.

Me & Zeta will watch together season 14′s episodes as they come out and we’ll do our commentary while watching.

1 2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9

14x10 Nihilism 

-I did not want to see Jack like that again thanks

Zeta: true

- And there was a need for some wings there honestly .

[ comes back crawling]

HERE

Zeta:  the bar sceeeene

-.....THAT’S A DAMN SQUIRREL WITH A AVIATOR CAP ON ( also I re wrote squirrel four times before getting it right) 

- MOOSE!!! 

-......The Moose has a tag with “FAMILY BUSINESS” written on it----lol Jensen

Zeta: What’s her name

- PAMELAAAAAAAA . Damn woman I went a bit Bi there

Zeta: OH YES.

- [Music: and I’m searching for a rainbow] .....WOW

-[on the counter] Daphne loves Fred.

 my monkey dirty brain: Daddy loves tips. 

-hot. want that.

Zeta: the tequila or the bartender?

Bitch please . both.

- D: “ What are we, savages?”

Zeta: Oh the lips

-Cosmic Cowboy. *chokes*

-FB

-why is it always a ghoul case?

-Lol but who’s the drunk guy tho

Zeta: Bitch, look at her biceps

- some Bi slippage there too I see. FOCUS

Zeta: also indeed. Who is he?

-D:”I’ve never had anything this nice”

Also....I would be like Dean if I had a bar. One for the costumer and one for me! woohoo .

- D: “How come you always have a boyfriend?”

  P: “How come you always want what you can’t have?”

[looks into the camera like in the office]

- D: “This is my dream” 

I kinda see it tho....old grumpy Dean Winchester being the Bobby while running a bar like that. Yes....I like it.

- I knew it . I wanna see someone closed behind that “closet” *wink wink*

Zeta: Oh oh

Zeta: the slo mo.

-NICE .You are welcome for this gif where I let you enjoy the full over the count jump. Nice healthy middle age man over the fence jump ( nevermind this is an italian oil ad ).

-The blood. So cute

Zeta: I’m famous

- mmm

Zeta: shit

-Hello M boi, I missed you fam

Zeta: Changed clothes

- OMFG are you saying that the Archangel Michael macVanity von DramaQueen really just angel mojo changed into his Peaky Blinder wanna be in front of them?

He’s so flamboyant , I love him .

Zeta: The close up

- M making three men kneel with so much as lift his hands.  WHAT A MOOD. WHERE CAN I GET THAT? I WANT 10.

- M : “ I saw everything”  Yeah no shit we kinda see that coming too

-DoN ‘T IntERrUPt mE 

Zeta: Don’t interrupt me

-I’m-

I’m so bothered right now. Dom Michael for the win

-OH WOW

- Sam just “assbutted” Michael lol.

Castiel : Sam....did you just molotov my brother with holy fire?

Sam: uh ....No?

- HE ANGRY

- Dean’s not home right now...

Zeta: Please leave a message

*giggling* I love him

Zeta: His voice GOD DAMN

-yes

- Castiel hair tho.

Zeta: Do you? Cocky much

-but needs to play it cool. Can’t risk to mess up the pomaded hair.

- S:” We the angel cuffs on , Michael is under control”

 M: “Keep telling yourself that “  ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)

I *clap* LOVE *clap* HIM *clap*

- S: “Dump him in the trunk of the Impala” ... DUMP HIM .ahahahahaah

-Garth is in the trunk

Zeta: it’s a big trunk

-M: “ It’s a party!”

- J: “ It’s not like any of us can fly”

 M : “ Well one of us can”

 S: “ STFU”

- J:” Sam, are we gonna die here?” ... wow Jack...babe...stfu

-Yes OMG I forgot about the stalky reaper

Zeta: You mess up so many things

- it ain’t wrong

- [in john Mulaney’s Trump voice] we locked Death away and enslaved the reapers

Zeta: Poor Cas

- ok but WHO....death? Michael is asking himself that too.

-Yes , put him in the dungeon. HOT

Zeta: shit

-I can hear you

Zeta: Shit

-Ahahahahahaahah

Zeta: SHIT

-I’m loving this

Zeta: Bring back Crowley.

Zeta: We left Garth in the trunk looool

- that....everytime we don’t see a character for long that’s it...they are in the trunk.

Zeta: Castiel

-CASTIEL . so strange, I love him, he’s such a sarcastic asshole.

- M: “Yes, uh, put a chair against the door”

Zeta: This pretty smile as I rip you apart

-I’M SHAKING. YAS.

Zeta: Control yourself

- S: “Cass this is all we’ve got”

Zeta: Again?

- well it is a loop.

-MORE SHOTS.  (me)

Zeta: The only thing missing is “heat of the moment”

- what if the woman is his conscience trying to get him out and if he sign he’s out? ...like....testing his resolution?

-Little insulting

Zeta: you’re nothing

Zeta: Why is he so perfect in this?

- J: “Dean---is strong”

  M *disgusted face*: “ Is a gnat “ . WOW

-OH SHUT UP OOOOH

Zeta: Emotional abuse.

- M: “ he was not happy, but he didn’t care-- Cause you are not Sam, you are not Cass.” 

[ me looking smiling to the Castiel/Misha hateclub]

-M: “You are a weak helpless thing”

- Jack , babe ....get away tho 

Zeta: LISTEN TO YOUR DAD

- M: “no I’m not and I can still hear you”

Zeta: Prick

- Love that prick..... literally 

- I care so little for the others I swear

- M: “Look at you, play nursemaind for a nephilim”

-C: “You are confusing loyalty and compassion for weakness”

Zeta: Damn what am I watching?

- [looks into the camera like in the office] Sexual tension

Zeta: so done. this. Close up

- M “and now...that I’m in here, I know why” 

-CHUCK

Zeta: He churn our draft after draft

- M speaks like he’s singing and mocking you at the same time. He has this musicality in his speak and I love it

- C: “Why would he do that?”

 M: “BECAUSE HE DOESN’T CARE!”

- good lord I swear all the angels are just brats throwing temper tantrum because they have a trash dad.

- M: “But now , I just want to burn every one of his little worlds until I catch up to the Old man”

Zeta: Even god can die.

- oh ok....overachiever much

Zeta: Hurt Jack

- No no Jack babe...keep your fucking soul .

Zeta: Cool science project

- Michael’s mind: if you mess up my perfectly combed hair Cass I swear-

- M: “ I give it a solid B- .....uh oooh”

 me nervously: .....wtf lol 

- M: *snorts* Oh Cass, I believe in you.

So rude...so nasty 

- j: “ What should I do?”

Zeta: Pray

-Thanks Cas, that’s-......that’s great

Zeta: You are all mine

- ..... YESSIR TAKE ME

Zeta: Dean’s mind.

- ..... if it was a funny episode they could have made so many jokes about being empty lol.

- me looking around haters mind ^

Zeta: This is what you are gonna become

-omg

- THAT WAS DEAN IN HELL.

- Dean’ “NOOOO “ at Castiel death is vibrating into my bones.

- S: “Dean is strong”

- C: “Sam, we’ve been through a lot and Dean is more than strong”

- S: “Dean thrive on trauma.” 

WE’VE BEEN KNEW

Zeta: Smart moose

- Somebody has been reading some meta tumblr posts

- P: “You really know how to talk to a lady don’t you?”

 me already at Castiel’s feet : wha

- That’s us fans watching 14 seasons of supernatural ^

-Bloody Cass is 100. *licks lips*

- P: “get me a shot. With your braaaain”

Zeta: Well hello.

- C:” That was- that....DeAN ThAt WaS An ACcidENT”

Zeta: Babyyyy

- them baby faces

- C:” WE NEED YOU TO COME BACK”

- S:”POUGHKEEPSIE”

- Dean’s mind : [ old modem sounds]

-M [Slow clap it out.] : Hey Fellas

-AND THE HAT IS BACK

Zeta: I’m you

Zeta: He gripped you tight and raised you from perdition

-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAH I’M DYING SO BAD.

-BITCH I’M DEAD AND GIGGLING I CAN’T.

-but also....but the fuck is Mary at?... like wow.

- also....everything that Micheal is saying right now is causing me actual fucking pain.

- Ok and both Sam and Cas faces? well thanks

Zeta: He’s buying time

-WOW. Slow smile, oooooH

-S: “So in here, you are all talk”

- oh that’s why he doesn’t use his powers. Serviceable .

Zeta: So happy. Fuck

Zeta: Prove it

- Um...yes hello 911? 

Michael getting his hands dirty is too hot for me.

-Fucking Tiger man.

-Come on baby 

Zeta: Jack will do something “stupid”

- Well he is his parents’ son *shrug*

Zeta: that

- D:” Then we don’t kick him out, we keep him in”

-oooooh M goes in the closet, lol

Zeta: Oh my god.

- ....Well that was stupid AHAHAHAAH 

- I can’t stop laughing .

- M [ROAR] 

  me: ....

Zeta: I’m the cage.

-HE IS THE CAGE. That doesn’t seem right tho...come on.

Zeta: So now Dean has Michael locked up

-ooooh the magic hurt him. Forgot about that. My baby.

Zeta: Concerned Dad.

- The way Cass say : “you understand?” killed me....so soft...so worried...

- The little smile! Kill me now.

Zeta: He’s not ok.

-Dean is not ok.

Zeta: [henley alert]

-He’s like....naked. ( still has another tshirt under it tho)

-Oh he’s mad 

- I’M CRYING . HE LOOKS LIKE MY CAT WHEN I REFUSE TO LET HIM OUT .

amazing.

( Sorry for the not that clear gifs but I wanted to cut and past all the bits of that because it’s amazing)

Zeta: He’s suffering so much.

-That troat

- That door is not that sturdy tho

Zeta: Oh hell no

- oh hello death . 

-Aw hell naw.

- Death :” Except one”

-AW HELL NAW

Zeta: Which one?

- UGH

Zeta: No

-NO

Zeta: NOOO so much hurt

-OH FUCK

Zeta: Actual literal pain in my chest

YA KNOW WHAT?....I DON’T LIKE THAT LOOK .

NOT ONE BIT.

.

- lol I don’t even wanna look at tumblr now

Zeta: well you know me....I have

- of course you did

post gifs comment: I didn’t do my crack gifs for now, but they will be done in a separate post.

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If you want to get tagged in the future ones send an ask HERE or to @waywardbaby or a smoke signal, idk whatever I’m tired af.

TAGS: @supernatural-teamfreewillpage  @destiel-honeypie   @mariekoukie6661   @dragontamerm    @closetspngirl @rainflowermoon @mattiecat   @bunnybaby121115  @aliaitee @jacks-word-of-the-day @4evamc

#spn episode commentary #commentary #nihilism #14x10 #spn 14x10 #supernatural 14x10 #14x10 commentary #spn gifs

[portuguesefairygodmother-blog]

I actually forgot as to how I wrote the character drafts before but I’ll just speak from my heart. And I… don’t know from where to begin. 

I think I should go back and check the older ones as I’m pretty sure I cussed the hell out of Asshole 1.0 there. 😂

Okay… so… I’m listening to Fortress by Bear’s Den and it’s like this unannounced Nykova song in my head and this was a bad idea. 😂 Emotions.

You know how you said last night that you thought it was over for Charmed until Jaden?

Well, I didn’t have anything like the ‘core of my soul’ before I had Nova. And I didn’t have anyone to make her heart a mess (in the best ways, obviously) before well, him.

So it had always been over for me/Nova until you/he came in.

You know also how you said that you felt guilty that wish you were everywhere to pamper me everywhere and I realised something… I’m not everywhere. I’m just on Nova. (And another place is coming up on the next draft so I’ll leave it to that.) So I don’t really need everywhere. And I don’t want to put that pressure on you so you really don’t need to be everywhere. I also realise how selfish in ways that makes me. I don’t know if it’s selfish. Dependent. Yearning. Longing. And it scared the life out of me.

I’m not sure whether to let Nova let the reins to talk about this or I should. Maybe I should.

When you were talking about the Notebook and the fights… well, it near triggered me or it has after I shoved it down but it scared me. Because Nykova fight. They have their share of madness like that as well. And yeah, I know there maybe just similarities or so but it isn’t the same but it still… makes me insecure. When you say you don’t enjoy it much, the fights and all. But obviously fights are not meant to be enjoyed and I don’t enjoy them either but it solidified a question I kept meaning to phrase during all our conversations but the right words never came — did the fights take away all enjoyment from them for you? I don’t even think they were fights but yeah.

But I also remember everything you’ve said before, from Nyk and from yourself and I don’t let it get to me. The insecurities or such thoughts.

I know I’m overly sensitive about everything there. But… hopefully there comes a day where she can explain it to him more. I’ve never had so much to lose, everything to lose. I don’t know how my heart got tangled up in Nova like it did and I don’t know how (I mean I know) it got tangled up in Nyk. And I know the I love you may not seem like as much of a huge deal but for me, it’s as equally shocking as a proposal.

But obviously, you’re changing a lot of things. He is changing and has changed a lot of things.

As open as she is, she never really talks about feelings all that much. I guess she gets that from me. But then again, I don’t feel at the intensity she does. I don’t feel at all. So whatever she’s feeling, it’s like I’m feeling all of that and those feelings are raging in my body.

You know… I never told anyone before you that I watched the Royals. Or anyone before you as to how much Matt+Elektra meant to me. And I mean, ANYONE.

I don’t usually bring up my passions as I don’t want others to water it down or just… I don’t know. I don’t reveal the closest things to my heart.

I don’t know why I didn’t put in Jaspenor before into Nykova than from the day I did. Even though I saw the eerie similarities from way before. But I put on the courage and posted. Just as a mere gif. And then you came to me so joyously about it and just spoke everything I thought of — their similarities, and associating Eleanor with me and I didn’t tell you this before but I think I cried that day. I’m starting to get teary again now thinking on it but especially when you, by yourself, began sharing those videos and a part of me just blasted open which I’m eternally grateful for.

You saw me, somehow. 

Saw her. 

And I’m just… really grateful.

Same for Matt+Elektra.

You know how “anti love” I am but there are certain (and very few) things/ships that make me want love.

Jaspenor is up there. Especially because of how in my skin Eleanor is and I’d just really like someone to love me like Jasper does. I want that. Them. Someone to see past all the nightmares and the mess and see what’s inside or what could be. Same for Matt and Elektra. Do you remember how I kept saying I was so happy that the show did them justice and so much more? I just remember seeing them and those parts of my heart that are/were long gone just cracked to the surface.

Happened each episode with the Defenders. Happens each Monday, which is why I’m mostly very volatile during that day.

And by some fortune, blessing. I somehow have both of these in him. And so much more. Nykyrian’s story itself got me extremely bad and I never told you, but I honestly can’t believe you gave me his heart to hold. Me, I can understand, but a firestorm like Nova?

She’s walking catastrophe and I just wonder... how can you not want someone who’s just... more than that?

And I don’t want to break that trust. Or him. Or myself for that fact.

Did I mention I started crying somewhere along the way? It’s only gonna get worse with Dagger’s draft. 😂

But I’m insecure, yes. I’m scared. She’s scared.

We, she hasn’t had everything to lose ever before.

What if I rushed things by saying how I felt? What if I ask for too much? What if I’ve ruined everything? Will I ever get to keep this love?

But I’m also adamant in not losing any of it. Ever. So I’d ask for patience but you’ve already given me that. And more than that.

So thank you. For him.

And you, Saint Nykyrian, thank you for being with Nova until this day and never giving up on her. Sometimes she wished you would to spare you from her hurt or the disappointment she’s likely to bring to you. (Did I mention I’m crying?) But you never did. By honestly the patience of a saint. You inspire her to be a better person (or better in general and just not want to die 24/7 as she wants to live by you, with you. With an intensity I honestly feel like drugging her for as it gives me a headache.) in ways you can’t understand and she hasn’t learned to express yet but thank you for seeing her. Seeing through her. Holding her and finding her.

Both of us.

You saved her, by inspiring her to sing, write, speak, be less of a mess. To live.

I’d have written her off if you hadn’t come along.. or more than that, if you hadn’t stayed.

You’re still an asshole though, you ass.

But we love you.

In morte veritas.

(Maybe we need to find you something more optimistic. But hey, goes with who you said you fell in love with.  😂)

[one-piece-dumpster-fire]

Omg I completely forgot about all the love headcanon I had saved in my drafts on my pc!!! Ahhh sorry for the long wait on these, I'll continue working on all the 11 I have left straight away this is kinda embarrassing now lol

But as of now, here is Kid for the love headcanons! Requested by @tachibanahime and multiple anons xD (gif from google)

Eustass Kid love headcanon

When they discover they’re got a crush: NO. NO- hell no. No way. This can't be right. Captain Eustass Kid is NOT in love. No way. He absolutely refuses to give in to these meekly feelings. Love? No, he isn't gonna turn soft. You just... spark a different kind of interest in him, that is all.

How they confess/hint: there is no hinting. When Kid has his eyes set on something, he's gotta have it. So you can indirectly consider yourself his already. There will mostly be 'confused flirting' from his side, mainly because he doesn't want to give his nonexistent feelings away but at the same time he wants to let you know that he has his eyes on you... And of course he's trying to be all smug about it, but kinda fails at that. As for confessing, don't expect anything cute or romantic from him... In fact, he might just kidnap you and tell you that you belong with him now. And.... that's basically it.

Gestures of love: Nope he isn't in for that lovey-dovey crap. The most romantic thing he might ever do is probably burning down the house of someone who might have „disrespected“ you and with that him in any way. At least he'll be pretty much like that in the beginning. After some time though, he might slightly change. Slightly. That depends on you though.

How to win their heart: you... can't actually win his heart. Because there actually isn't really anything that would make his heart flutter or make him go doki doki for you. If you manage to caught his eye for whatever reason and he decides to keep you around because you don't bore him or keep him interested, you can already consider yourself special. He's a bit like a bull: he has his own head and doesn't only use it for thinking. So winning his heart would require taming him a bit... Which isn't easy, but probably worth it in the end.

How to break their heart: you can hurt someone, he doesn't care. You can fight or disagree with him, it doesn't really matter. BUT you can not cheat on him. He's too prideful to accept that. Cheating on him? Disrespecting him in the worst way possible? Basically spitting in his face? How dare you hurt his feelings play with him like that! ...Consider yourself lucky if you get out of that situation in one piece.

Their type: Someone strong. Someone confident. Someone with personality. Basically him. Someone who can keep him interested. But also someone who could fight with him and stand their ground. Maybe even someone who isn't afraid of him, but respects him. And someone who wouldn't try to change him. He is who he is, and he plans on keeping it that way.

Ideal date: Pffff Captain Kid doesn't go on „dates“. Or at least he wouldn't refer to it as such... Well, what would be the perfect way of spending time with his significant other? ...Honestly, it's... not really a date. But Kid enjoys fighting by your side- no matter who the opponent is- a lot. Not only are you both together and have the same goal, it's also a good way to have some fun- as in seeing who is stronger him of course or who can defeat more enemies.

Past relationships: despite still being rather young, Kid has seen a lot of the world -and the people it offers- already. Since he isn't the „loving“ kind of man and would only keep someone around until he starts losing his interest, his few past relationships were nothing but quick and short.

How they might affect current relationships: since he probably isn't gonna confront any of his past lovers again (and even if he does I doubt that he would bother wasting his time with them) there is nothing to worry about.

‘Goals’ in a relationship (marriage, kids, a house, etc): to be honest... none. He isn't the kind of guy to settle down, not only because he's still pretty young, but also because he sees no point in that. Marriage? That sounds like something old folks who have nothing better to do would do. Or it's just an excuse for someone to grow soft. And brats running around while terrorizing him? No thanks.

...

Well, maybe he might change some of his views one day though... maybe...

#love headcanon #eustass kid #captain eustass kid #one piece #one piece headcanons #op headcanons #reader insert

[sally-mun]

As someone who hasn't, wouldn't, and won't be experiencing Major/Minor (or whatever it was called) could you perhaps analyze more specifically some of the things you felt were missteps more in depth, so others who decide they might want to make a visual novel or even just a story, might be able to avoid the same issues? I realize this might not be your area of interest, but I'm always interested in these kinds of analyses.

Man, where do I even begin.

I suppose I should start by saying that this game could have been fine; I don’t necessarily hate this game for the story, even if I think it’s uninspired. I play lots of point-and-click games and usually enjoy them (even the stupid ones) so long as they have merit in one area or another. But that’s the core of the problems with Major/Minor: It has NO merit to work with. Its construction shows absolutely no understanding of this genre of game design. Or of writing. Or of entertainment in general. Or of simply respecting one’s audience.

First and foremost, let’s discuss visual novels.

The critical difference between a novel and a visual novel is interactivity; a novel is a set and done deal that takes its readers along for the ride, whereas a visual novel invites the readers to be part of the ride itself. The direction of the story is influenced by the player, and this allows them to personally take ownership of later events. It’s the sort of game that tries to put you in the role of the protagonist in the most direct form possible. Like other first-person games your view as a player is exactly that of the character you’re playing, but in a VN’s case it’s like reading a comic book in a choose-your-own-adventure format.

Major/Minor not only fails on both the visual and novel elements, but it also fails when combined as a visual novel.

1) Visual

For the most part, visual novels don’t have a lot of action. They primarily consist of conversations with NPCs and usually take place in static locations. For this reason, both the characters and the environments need to have a lot of personality. Players need to feel like they’re actually having conversations with the characters and that they’ve entered a unique location that sees real use. This is the red, meaty center of how VNs engage and gratify their players.

Designing characters in a visual novel is about more than giving each one a different face; it’s about giving each character enough of a range of actions and emotions to sell the idea that the character is actually interacting with you, and in a way that’s truly unique from every other character. In real life, people do all sorts of crap when speaking: Our expressions change, we gesture with our hands, our posture varies, and sometimes we even have small ticks associated with certain topics or emotions. Between these visual cues and the actual discussions themselves, players ought to know the NPCs well enough to be able to describe them like real-life friends by the end of the game.

This brings us to Major/Minor’s first serious offense: Every character has one face. Typically in a VN, each character has a minimum of half a dozen expressions, poses, and gestures/ticks to match the different emotions they’ll need to exhibit over the course of their conversation topics. The characters in Major/Minor can only make a single expression and pose throughout the entire game, which immediately leads to some seriously disjointed discussions. It’s hard for me to take a character seriously when they say they’re angry with me when the art staring through the computer screen is bright, cheerful, and apparently mid-laugh. Sorry, NPC #672, I really don’t care that you’re allegedly on the brink of tears, because your singular piece of character art is so smarmy and mischievous that I forgot you were trying to tell me something tragic.

What makes this even more annoying is that most of the characters DO have a secondary piece of art, but it’s only ever used ONE time as an introduction to a new character before the game chucks it in the bin and we never see it again. Each character COULD have had at least two expressions if the dev had planned his commissions carefully enough, buuut instead he chose to get two shots that are barely distinguishable from one another so there could be a ~=*FLOURISH*=~ when we see someone for the first time. Granted, two per character still isn’t anywhere near enough, but it’s a hell of a lot better than just one! It makes me wonder why he bothered to spend the money on a second image for each character at all, since half of these commissions only get about 10 seconds of screen time. What a waste.

And hey, speaking of wasted opportunities, let’s talk more about the environments! Lots of visual novels don’t spend much energy on their backgrounds, and although that’s usually fine (albeit not my first preference), Major/Minor seriously needed to think more about its settings. For the moment I’ll ignore the laziness of the fact that the backgrounds are generic photos with a blur filter over them; what’s more important is that this game loves to tell us all kinds of random crap about the rooms we’re in, especially during the scenes that take place in Japan. This game would’ve benefited dearly from simply having more detailed backgrounds and just letting us observe the goings on of the room on our own. Y’know, because that makes it more... visual.

Honestly, if it were me, I would’ve taken it all a step further and gone full-blown Ace Attorney on the environments. In AA games, investigating the scene is very important because you have to look for clues. I’m not saying Major/Minor needed to let you hunt for items, but I do think that it could’ve cut a ton of random information from the text by simply letting us inspect the backgrounds. That way the players that want to know what a kotatsu is can find out on their own time and players that already know or don’t care can move on.

Something else that would’ve brought the game a much-needed boost of interest is cut scenes. As noted earlier, visual novels don’t tend to have a lot of action, so when something physical DOES happen, it makes an impact. One way to maximize that flash of excitement is with a cut scene – or at least, the visual novel equivalent of one. A “cut scene” in a VN isn’t typically a full motion video like most video games boast; it still makes use of a static image, but it’s an image whose quality far surpasses that of the rest of the art in the game. Maybe it’s abnormally large and the camera slowly pans across for dramatic effect, or maybe it’s a scene drawn from an interesting angle that isn’t the player’s POV. Some games take this even farther and really do animate their cut scenes a bit (usually on par with a nice animated gif). Lots of VN cut scenes make use of sound effects or action-specific music cues to keep the player emotionally involved with the scene, as it’s a moment that’s out of the player’s control.

Major/Minor, on the other hand, does none of this. Much like the drought of facial expressions, the game simply pelts you with paragraph after paragraph to tell you about the events taking place around you, rather than simply letting you see for yourself and be, y’know, involved. Even a handful of cut scenes that had some real effort put into them would’ve really given this game some pep. Not only would it have kept me engaged as a player, but it would’ve weeded out even more unnecessary narration.

Oh, and speaking of weeding shit out of the text…

2) Novel

The writing in this game badly, badly needed to be edited. Like, so badly it makes me physically hurt from how poorly this text is constructed. I’m not talking about the simple things like misspellings and failed capitalizations, I mean BIG mistakes, like sentence fragments and improper conjugations and completely misusing some words all together. It’s also excruciatingly repetitive. Never in my life have I ever seen prose that recaps itself so frequently – sometimes literally within minutes of the event that it’s reminding you of. It even recaps itself within the same block of text a few times.

It’s pretty obvious the dev never allowed a seasoned editor to proof the text, but it’s so unbelievably bad that I’m not even sure the dev himself ever gave it a second glance. It reeks of being a first draft that was never once revisited; actually, it strongly reminds me of the sort of stories I myself wrote when I was about 13. At that time I wanted so badly to write big, dramatic stories! Stories that had deep themes and lots of intrigue! With a complicated plot and several subplots!! And lots of characters that would all totally be different and completely matter!!!! But the problem was I was so wrapped up in wanting to make my stories big, impressive epics that I stretched myself way too thin and everything came out incredibly shallow. It’s honestly kind of eerie to think back on the things I wrote as a kid while I play this game. The similarities are so striking that I can’t tell if this is something the dev wrote at that age and just never decided to polish, or if he did write it as an adult but has the writing skill-level of a teenager.

But honestly, I’d overlook all the technical flaws and melodrama this guy could throw at me if he would just show and not tell. “Show, don’t tell” is one of the oldest rules in the book when it comes to storytelling, and for good reason: Telling instead of showing is not only fucking boring, but it treats the reader like an idiot. If a writer knows what they’re doing, they shouldn’t have to tell, because they’d just demonstrate those things instead.

For example, let’s examine another huge flaw with the writing: Incredibly shallow characterizations. Early in the game the player meets a character named Rook. Rook is very rude. I know this because the game tells me. All. The. Time. I legit don’t remember how many times the game has mentioned that Rook is rude at this point. The dev seems completely oblivious to the notion that you don’t have to tell the player these things. You can just… write Rook as being rude. Trust me, my dude, I can figure out if a character is an asshole or not. Not only can Rook’s rudeness be demonstrated by how he treats me as a player, but it can be further reinforced by other characters reacting to him in a put-off manner. If you’re so concerned that I won’t pick up on the fact that Rook is a rude person just based on how he behaves, then you’re doing it wrong, end of discussion.

But then, as I said, the characterizations are shallow in general. Everyone tends to have their one basic trope and the story rests on the idea that you know what the character is. None of the scenes go out of their way to really dig into who someone is – which is kind of amazing, honestly, since the prose is so obsessed with making sure you know the most inane and unrelated shit half the time – and even after I’ve known a character for several chapters they still feel like a cardboard cut-out to me.

To be honest, I’m kind of impressed by the sheer volume of ways that Major/Minor fails at showing instead of telling. It tells you what characters are like instead of just letting you interact with them, it tells you about the places you visit instead of just letting you view them, it tells you every single time the characters have a mood shift or expression change because it couldn’t be bothered to give them each more than one face, and it hamfists unnecessary information into the script where it’s unneeded and interrupts the scene – and THEN, it makes SURE you notice that it’s telling instead of showing by repeating those things over and over and over again!

All of this is further exacerbated, by the way, because the dev has no idea how to tell a story in the first place. Even with all the above flaws, I miiight have still been able to enjoy this game if it was just a compelling narrative in any sense of the word at all. I will happily deal with poor construction and telling-not-showing if the story still has some intrigue. Even a flawed story can have a mind-blowing plot and keep you reading just to find out what happens next, right? I thought so too, until I realized that Major/Minor goes SO far out of its way to spoil its own plot that it frequently makes you sit through scenes that you, the protagonist, are not even present for. Yes, in a game that’s built upon being a first-person experience, the story will slam on the brakes and take you OUT of the protagonist’s shoes to make you sit by as an observer to events that probably would’ve been an great reveal later on had the dev just kept his mouth shut.

3) Visual Novel

So the visuals suck and the writing sucks, but hey, lots of games get by without investing much in those areas. Could Major/Minor pull it together and at least give the player an interesting mechanic? Hahahaha no, of course it didn’t. As far as the gameplay is concerned, Major/Minor is so bad that in many ways I hesitate to even call it a game.

The cornerstone of visual novels is making choices. They can range from serious decisions that determine the overall outcome of the game or small cosmetic details, but either way, the core of this gaming style is putting the player in the driver’s seat as often as possible. When playing Major/Minor, however, the player is strapped into a straight jacket, blindfolded, and tossed into the trunk of the damn car. This game is so reluctant to surrender control of the narrative that it’s not uncommon at all to go through entire sections of the game having made no choices whatsoever. It fails so spectacularly as a visual novel that I’d be willing to bet that the dev had never played one before. He is astonishingly disinterested in what makes a visual novel enjoyable to the player.

There’s a principle in game design called Illusion of Control. The goal of this idea is to allow the player to feel like they’re in charge of the game while actually keeping them within strict boundaries. It applies to a lot of games, but it’s especially important in visual novels. Players need to be able to dictate how the story progresses, even if some of those choices make no real impact on outcomes. For example, players can enter conversation trees with NPCs that seemingly offer a lot of control – perhaps the player chooses the discussion topics, or can decide if they want to be shy or snarky in their replies – and yet at the end of the scene there could realistically be no change to the story’s progress. The greater point is that the player feels like they handled the conversation the way they wanted to. This allows them to still feel like they’ve gotten somewhere and that they accomplished something.

Major/Minor appears to scoff at the very idea of this, like the game’s worried you’ll cramp its style if it gives you too much power.The player is allotted no input whatsoever on how the PC treats the other characters, what subjects to discuss, where they’d like to go, how to react to the actions of other characters… It’s truly mind-blowing just how consistently the game misses opportunities to allow the player even the illusion of control. For example, there’s a scene where the player character (PC) is awakened in the middle of the night by a pounding on the door, and no options are offered on how the player would like to handle this. A better game might allow the player to choose if they want to pretend to keep sleeping, or call out to whomever is knocking, or try escaping out a window, or crack the door open to see what the person wants. Even if it’s an absolute necessity to the plot that this person enters the room, it’s still better to let the player choose, because there are a plethora of ways to redirect each of those options back around toward the character getting in.

Unfortunately, Major/Minor is just too damn lazy to be bothered with gameplay, and the PC just lets the stranger in with no input from the player. Soon after, the stranger attacks the PC, which would again be a prime opportunity for lots of reactionary options: The player could duck! Or the player could punch their assailant! Or maybe they could kick instead! Maybe they’d try to run away or call for help! Buuut no, Major/Minor really doesn’t care what you want YOUR CHARACTER to do, and it’s already decided that you’re going to put up no fight at all and immediately pass out. It’s by far one of the most unsatisfying things I’ve ever experienced in a video game.

The disconnect between the player and the protagonist is so extreme that I honestly don’t feel it’s a fair assessment to refer to the protagonist as the “player character.” It’s not uncommon for visual novel protagonists to speak in the first person, but in most games it feels like the PC is speaking on your behalf because they’re acting according to your will. The protagonist of Major/Minor decides so many things for themself that it stopped feeling like “my” character a very, very long time ago. This character isn’t me and never was; it’s the main character of a book that I didn’t ask to read, who very occasionally pauses to ask my opinion on something.

HEY HOWDY HEY SPEAKING OF PAUSING… If you boot this “game” up for a session, you’d better hope you have plenty of time on your hands to get through it, because you’re at the dev’s mercy for when you can save your progress. Being able to save anytime you want is a staple of visual novels because 1) people read at wildly different paces, and 2) for many people, excessive reading makes them tired. Not only that, but sometimes life just plain gets in the way and you have to pick up and go on short notice. Major/Minor ignores all of these factors and leaves the player relegated to appointed checkpoints throughout the game.

Now, I’m not necessarily saying that checkpoints are inherently bad, but they do need to be used very, very wisely. Any game (VN or otherwise) that doesn’t allow the player to save anytime they want needs to be sure checkpoints are reasonably close from any given location, and furthermore that they’re spaced at regular intervals. As I’m sure you’ve guessed by now, however, the dev flushed that idea down the toilet along with what was left of his common sense and parents’ love. Sometimes Major/Minor stacks save points practically back-to-back within the span of a few minutes, and in other cases I’ve literally played for over and hour before the game finally rewarded me with the option to save.

There’s no discernible pattern or technique that I can detect for when save points are bestowed on the player; you’re not even guaranteed an opportunity to save when the game switches chapters! I would say that I can’t fathom why the dev thought this would be a good idea, but let’s not kid ourselves here, it’s clear that the dev never thought this through in the first place. If he had, he might’ve noticed that players being uncertain about whether or not they’ll be able to save their progress discourages them from playing at all.

Also, before I fully move on from the game design, I just wanted to make a brief side note about the music. To be honest, I turned the music off a VERY long time ago, so I don’t even remember what it sounds like; however, I’ve read that all of the music in the game is from the free assets you get in RPG Maker. I’ve further read that the free assets (both audio and visual) were the entire reason the dev decided to use RPG Maker for this game in the first place, in spite of the fact that there are other programs out there specifically geared toward making visual novels. This is worth mentioning because it further highlights just how lazy this entire game is. It’s not a sin to use free program assets – that IS what they’re there for, after all – but when you ONLY use the free assets and then advertise your game on Steam for being sooo creative and original, AND have the gall to charge $20 for it?? Yeah, that’s a gigantic slap in the face.

Speaking of Steam, you’d think a game like this would’ve been weeded out by the gaming community for being the garbage that it is, right? After all, there’s a ranking right at the top of the page showing the proportion of good and bad reviews it’s gotten, and right now it says the feedback is “very positive.” I will say that I do take community feedback into consideration when I’m thinking about a game that I haven’t otherwise heard of before, and my misstep with this game has definitely taught me a valuable lesson. When I saw that the game is ranked “very positive” and I scrolled down to see several glowing reviews, I felt that was sufficient enough research to know if the game was worth my time and money.

However, upon trying out the game and realizing just how badly I’d been deceived, I did a little more digging. As it turns out, the dev is known for flagging negative reviews as “abusive” and getting them deleted, allowing him to effectively filter out the bad press so long as he can make some kind of a case to Steam. This debacle has taught me that it’s not enough to scroll to the bottom of a Steam page for user reviews, as those tend to be the most recent; what you do instead is click the “Read all [x] reviews” link, as those reviews are sorted by popularity. THIS is where you’ll find the reviews that the community has deemed the most helpful and informative, and in this case, it’s like night and day. ALL of the highest-ranked reviews of Major/Minor are negative, and the numbers are staggering. Literally HUNDREDS of people have ranked these terrible reviews as helpful, and most of them are in the 80-90% range on agreement. You have to load more reviews four times to find even one single positive post, and once you do start getting into the positives, the upvotes are significantly fewer.

SO, in conclusion...

I want to say that’s about all I have to give on this subject, but the sad truth is it’s not. I could probably critique this game line-by-line, moment-by-moment, if I really wanted to. Fortunately for my sanity, I really don’t want to. … Not right now, anyway. I’m sure I’ll lose it at some point and decide to go through and count all the missed opportunities in the game or something, but I won’t be doing that right now, thankfully.

So in the vein of others learning from the mistakes of this game: If you were thinking about buying Major/Minor, don’t. If you bought it a while ago during a sale and were thinking about starting to play it, don’t. If you’re interested in making a visual novel and wanted to learn from this game’s mistakes… Well granted there’s a lot to learn about what not to do, but still, don’t give this lazy, deceptive dev any more money. Learn from this guy’s shortcomings based on the feedback of players. Hell, read or watch a Let’s Play if you really want to experience it first-hand. Just please don’t buy and play this game. As a favor to ME, please don’t buy and play this game.

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#sciver #Sallymun plays Major/Minor #I hope you guys enjoy this because it was not easy #if you know someone who's thinking about this game please show them this post #REBLOG TO SAVE A LIFE