#forgot that people are smarter here than on twitter

[sayakxmi]

[Magi reread] Night 72: Wisdom of Solomon

Honestly, I just think it looks kinda funny.

Look at all the shits Aladdin doesn't give.

Sth about the way his smile falls.

OOF

Idk I just think it's a pretty cool pose

Honestly, he looks so cool this chapter.

You go, boy

Honestly, I'm only putting it here bc it's Judar saying that. I sometimes forget that he's pretty smart. When it comes to magic, at least.

I still love it so much that Ugo was teaching him this entire time, because he knew he wouldn't always be there to protect him;;;

And also Aladdin raising his hands like a conductor. Looks awesome.

Honestly, so far, pretty hype chapter, which Imma be honest with you, it was very needed. After all these chapters of misery and desperation, we finally have something that turns the tides, something that makes us breath a litte easier, because not all hope's lost.

It's totally random, but it made me think about a post of the screenshot from Twitter about somebody complaining that Dune has no humor in it - and, just for the record, the entire explanation of that person's point is very good and exactly what I'm referring to. That is, the humor lets you calm down a little so that whatever awful comes next fucks you up even harder. And I thought about it, bc it's kind of like that here? The tides are turning, as I've said, so we feel like things can still turn out ok.

But they won't. Cassim will have his heart-to-heart with Alibaba and die, people will see their dead loved ones and calm down, and Balbadd will still be lost. We're made believe things will be alright and that we'll win, but in the end we'll lose so much. I think looking at it like that is pretty neat.

I forgot Alibaba's still next to him.

Get wrecked bithc

Oh, right, you were still kinda impaled.

He's sending Sinbad & Morgiana somewhere else, but I'm kinda putting it here bc it reminds me abt one scene in the Magnostadt Arc?

"Gimme a sec," I say, as if it wasn't my post that I'm only gonna publish after writing the entire thing.

HA. KNEW IT.

Anyway, so this is Aladdin's gtfo pose.

Give it a few more arcs & you're not gonna be so happy.

First of all, I love that Aladdin's able to read the situation here & conclude that, nope, no can do. There's this humility to him, which in this moment is pretty horrifying - he came in & gave everybody hope, only to admit that he can't win against Judar as they are now. Scary as it is, though, it's much smarter than hoping they can just... power through. Sometimes you can't, and admitting that you can't is more likely to help than trying to force it. At least this way, they can begin to come up with other ideas.

The other thing is, Alibaba's reaction. I might be reading too much into this, which, fair, I tend to, but I'm thinking about Alibaba's tendency to just... trust others so much, so easily. Which is fascinating, considering he has every right to have severe trust issues, given how often he gets betrayed, but at the same time, it kinda connects. Alibaba is quick to trust and believe (given at least one reason), and he can be a bit naive in this. If he trusts somebody, he trusts them all the way. When Hakuryuu goes nuts, he still goes to him to try to talk, believing Hakuryuu isn't too far gone (which is proven very wrong), or in the Magnostadt Arc, the moment Sinbad & SSA arrive, he just. Fuckign faints like that. He's been keeping himself up with sheer willpower, and the moment somebody he believes in appeares, he just relaxes. He can let them handle that, right?

And it's kind of the same here. Aladdin, who'd bailed him out of pretty bad situations a few times, is here, so things are going to be alright, right? But no. Aladdin admits, he can't win. There's no easy way out, leaving it for others to handle. Alibaba needs to put in his work, too.

I wouldn't describe Alibaba as selfish, but when you really think about is, his self-confidence issues are making him selfish in situations like that. It's one thing to let somebody help you, but it's another to have somebody do all the heavy lifting, you know? It kinda makes me think about the contrast between Alibaba & Sinbad. Alibaba's belief in everybody but himself vs Sinbad's belief in himself only. Obviously, the right choice is in between. Early SnB!Sinbad wasn't so bad, but the seeds were there, and he just kept digging himself deeper and deeper into the extreme. Alibaba, on the other hand, started off on the extreme, and slowly learnt to believe in himself to eventually find himself in that healthy middle ground.

Man, I really dislike putting entire pages, but, honestly, this is so good. Aladdin reminding him why he fights, and showing him how people feel the same, how he was the one to push them forward.

"Everyone's hopes within their hearts." Small reminder that all Amon's spells have hope-related names. For example, from the wikii: "Amol Dherrsaiqa [...] is a corruption of the Arabic phrase صاعِقة ظِرّ الأَمَل Ṣā3iqa(t) Ẓirr Al-Amal, which means "Flint Lightning of Hope"."

I really love that. This is Alibaba's role in the story, after all. But if you think about it, it's all the King Vessels' role, Alibaba's just the one who ends up the most succesful.

It looks kinda funny

RIP Alibaba

All we know about that Wisdom of Solomon thing is the hype and that Al-Thamen freaks out. Neat.

Also, I really like what it turned out to be. It's not some deus-ex-machina trick to fix everything. Frankly, it's not all that useful on its own. But Aladdin is capable of making use of it, because he puts in the work to make use of it. I'm not feeling the right kind of wordy today, but basically, he isn't just given a power up, he actively works to turn it into a power up.

#saya's magi reread #magi #alibaba saluja #aladdin

[gay-sin]

should i be online if i'm stupid?

i hate being 22 and so stupid. i'm smarter than i've ever been but that's not saying much. i keep thinking that i'll get older and stop being stupid but then i just learn new ways that i'm stupid. i talk to old people looking for answers but they don't even have them! they are stupid too! fuck! i always seem to forget that everyone is so stupid even if they are incredibly old or incredibly smart. i want to know all of the things and i want to know them right now!! i know some things but not all the things and my stupidity often feels like a liability. sometimes, when i'm smart, my stupidity feels like a big open space for me to run around and grow into. but because i'm 22 and mostly thinking stupid thoughts and doing stupid things, i mostly think of my stupidity in stupid ways. i'm constantly afraid of being wrong. this is stupid because i'm wrong every day. sometimes i dig myself into stupid little holes because i'm so afraid of being perceived as stupid and that's... quite stupid. i just keep talking or typing until i have reassured myself enough times that what I'm saying isn't stupid. but then i live a little longer and prove myself wrong again. i've never been fully right about anything because there's always another way to see things, always another dimension i haven't yet considered. so yes. i'm increasingly terrified of being online. i'm afraid of exposing my big fat stupid brain to whoever is stupid enough to pay attention to it. but i'm beginning to reconsider. maybe we shouldn't all just shut up and go into our rooms, finish becoming ourselves, and only come out once we have something to say that's not stupid. because it will always be at least a little bit stupid. i don't have anything to add that's all that new or all that smart and i'm still not sure if it makes sense to post things online when I don't know who i'm talking to or what i'm talking about. but whatever.

i've been mostly off of social media for about half of a year. it's been so good for me because i would often go online to get some sort of recognition that i really can only get by looking at myself in the mirror and telling myself that i love myself and really meaning it. i'm still working on doing that so i'll probably be working on that forever. maybe i shouldn't abstain from the world until i'm all patched up. because as soon as i put a bandaid on my last papercut, i burn my hand on the hot pan because i'm stupid and forgot to use an oven mit. maybe tumblr is a better social media than instagram or tiktok or twitter or maybe they're all equally stupid shouts into a void. either way, i thought maybe i'd try again. i needed a new way to do it that didn't feel like the stupid old way. my friend meera told me to make a tumblr and here i am trying it and overthinking it and saying too much so that i can convince myself that this idea is not stupid. whatever. i'm actually quite certain that it's at least a little bit stupid of an idea and that's okay because i reserve the right to be stupid and wrong and grow and be better next time. so i'll be here, running around in my stupidity doing cartwheels, dancing around, putting on a stupid little show.

i might delete this blog soon or maybe not. it's a new experiment for me. if you're out there in the void, i hope you'll like my stupid little blog!!! <3

#new blog #art blog #artists on tumblr #stupid

[mantasunray-art]

answering asks is so fun !!

i think you should be able to change your "following" tab to show most recent posts (perfect for liveblogging!) somewhere in the settings.

when i first started out in fandoms, it was on twitter but the community i was in was rather small or at least not active on twitter as much (and we were all vibing, no discourse), so this community most definitely is scary on twitter. i hope you are doing alright and aren't getting harassed!

and to asks, from what i've gathered, this community is actually one of the ones that more actively uses asks, than a lot of other fandoms and i'm glad for it because it's really fun.

anyway. maybe i forgot to add something here but, i hope you have a good time here !! your art is lovely. <3

oh thank you i'll check my configurations!! i've already changed a few things on config but i still don't think it's the optimal like i'm probably missing something lol i'll check it again!!! but yeah twitter is just freaking huge so ofc things get out of control. and dw i've had my fair share of "being canceled" (a few times for absurd things and a few times valid criticism). now that i'm on privtwt too though i have a space to be a little bit more of a hater and then think about what i said and maybe regret it instead of having 6 thousand people looking at what i say lol so yeah i'm smarter and more conscious about my impact yknow.

but yeah i luv sending and getting asks it's so fun <33 and so far i've been having a great great time here and thank you you're so sweet :,))) it's crazy that people like what i draw thank you thank you

#ask bea

[puckinghell]

The Plus One Pact | Part 1 | William Nylander

Summary: Your ex is getting married, and you don’t have a date, which means the unavoidable “why don’t you have a boyfriend” question is about to haunt you for the rest of eternity. But then there’s Will, who could be the answer to all your problems. A simple business pact, no feelings involved: that won’t be hard for you, because you really don’t like him anyways. Except pacts were made to be broken… or something. Right?

Note: This is part 1, let me know what you think about the idea of this series!

--

“I have a plan to fix this,” your best friend says, and there’s absolutely nothing worse than when Zach says that.

To be fair, when you called him in complete, blind panic, you weren’t really thinking straight. If you were, you would’ve started your tirade with a I don’t need you to fix this, but…

As it is, you forgot to say that, and so Zach is trying to fix it. That’s how your best friend works.

“I have a plan, too,” you say. You’re sitting on the floor in the kitchen, legs pulled up to your chest, and your phone is on speaker on the floor next to you. It’s quite a dramatic scene, with it being dark outside, the Toronto city lights twinkling below you; if you weren’t having a mental breakdown, you’d laugh about the high romantic comedy feeling this has.

“I’m going to throw myself off the roof and fake death.”

“If you throw yourself off the roof, it won’t be faking anymore.” Zach sounds undeterred by your possible impending death, which. Rude. Maybe you need a new best friend.

Outside, you can see the rain falling. Spring has arrived, but spring is really hit and miss in Toronto, and this week the weather has been dreadful. It kinda feels serendipitous, now.

“Zach,” you whine into the phone, “I can’t go to my ex’s wedding alone. You have to come with me.”

Zach sighs, but doesn’t say anything. To be fair, he’s already explained to you why he can’t do that – he has plans, and a wife, so - but…

“It’s so unfair.” You let your head fall back against the kitchen cabinet with a thump, and wonder idly whether you still have a bottle of wine stashed in one of those cabinets. If there was ever a time to pull it out, it’s probably now.

“I told you, I have a plan. We can fix this.” Zach sounds smug, which doesn’t do anything to help your worry.

He always means well, and he’s a smart guy, yet somehow his plans never work out too well for you.

“The plan that I have,” your best friend says slowly, cutting himself off to interject: “And don’t say no right away!”

That probably means you’re gonna say no right away.

“My plan is that you’re gonna take Willy.”

You laugh.

“Fuck no.”

--

So, it’s not like you hate William.

It’s just. You also don’t like him.

He’s always so chipper and happy, and there’s no way anyone can be that chipper and happy all the time. And he’s always confident, sometimes borderline cocky, and you never know whether he’s being nice to you or taking the piss, whether to take what he says at face value or with a grain of salt. You don’t know what to make of him, which makes you feel uncomfortable in his presence.

And then there’s the fact that he’s William Nylander.

Obviously, being friends with Zach, who loves William, there’s gonna be times when you’re around him. And whenever you are, it seems like the entire city is around him, too.

Clubs, restaurants, cinemas, even stores: you can’t go anywhere without people whispering, without a crowd forming. Sometimes people even follow you.

And you know it’s William, because it never happens when it’s just you and Zach. Even though Zach is, in your opinion anyway, just as big a deal in Toronto as Willy. So. It must be something about William as a person.

However.

The idea of having to go to this wedding alone makes you wanna vomit, or cry, or maybe both. You feel your skin crawl and your heartbeat speed up, and you haven’t had a proper panic attack in years but it feels like it’s just below the surface, when you think about having to see Noah getting married, while everyone around you is just feeling sorry for you because you’re still lonely and pathetic.

It was such a bad idea to get your entire family so involved in Noah’s life, because now they’re all gonna be at his wedding, and even your own family will look at you with quiet disappointment.

It’s too much, literally, for you to even process, and you blame that lack of mental capacity for the fact that you end up telling Zach he can arrange a meeting with William for you.

--

Toronto is still hiding underneath an everlasting raincloud, and everything about you is soaked by the time you hurry through the coffee shop door.

So far for your jacket being waterproof, then.

The coffee shop, luckily, is warm and cozy, and you wonder why Zach has never taken you there before. There’s something hipster about it, sure, with mismatched furniture and indie music playing, but it has the kinda relaxed vibe you’re always looking for.

That’s when you spot him.

He’s wearing a hoodie and a snapback, and his glasses, which somehow make him fit right in with the aesthetic of the place, as if they hired him to sit there and be pretty – shut up, you don’t like him, but you’re not blind - and drink coffee, to fit the decor.

He looks up when he sees you coming, a lazy smile appearing on his face.

“Y/N,” he says, almost amused, “this was unexpected.”

“Hey, William,” you mutter, shrugging off your wet jacket and hanging it on the back of the chair opposite him. “I’ll just go get a coffee and then I’ll explain.”

“No need.” William motions towards one of the two mugs that are on the table. “Ordered you a hazelnut latte with oat milk.” He sounds proud, and you assume Zach told him your favorite coffee order but you’re a little impressed anyway.

From anyone else, maybe you’d seen it as common courtesy, but for William, to think about that? You’ve noticed he has a habit of thinking about himself, first, so, that’s a thing for him.

“Thanks,” you say, and you must look as baffled as you feel because William rolls his eyes a little.

“It’s just a coffee. And call me Will or Willy, please. William is what my grandmother says.” His eyes twinkle when he adds: “Oh, and angry old white dudes on hockey Twitter.”

If you didn’t kinda need him, you would’ve probably kept calling him William just to annoy him a little: you’ve never really seen William – Will – annoyed, not if not jokingly. You’ve seen him happy, dejected, upset, but never annoyed.

It’s a mood he regularly instills in you, so you wonder if you could return the favor.

However.

“Okay, Will, so here’s the thing.”

You do need something from him.

“One year ago, I had a boyfriend.”

Will raises an eyebrow, takes a sip of his coffee in the most pretentious way. “Congratulations.”

“Do you want to hear the story?” you snap, forgetting for a second that you’re supposed to be nice to him. Old habits die hard.

Will holds up his hands and stills.

“So, my ex, his name is Noah. We got together when we were 16 and I thought he was the one for me. He was over at my house so much, my parents used to joke that we’d already gotten married and just hadn’t told them. He was as much part of my family as I was, and I thought we’d be together forever.”

Will takes another drink. His leg is bouncing up and down slightly; another habit of his that you really wish you could kick out of him.

“Long story short,” you decide to settle, “next month he’s getting married to the woman he cheated on me with.”

Now Will’s eyes widen, and you can tell he wasn’t expecting that. You bet he’s really not expecting your next sentence.

“So I need you to go to the wedding with me.”

It’s quiet. You take the chance to take a sip of your drink; it’s delicious, maybe the best you’ve ever had, and now you wonder whether Will spends a lot of time here cause if not, you’d like to make this your regular coffee place.

“You wanna go to this douchebag’s wedding?” Will asks, sounding incredulous. And, okay, maybe you can’t blame him for sounding like that. 

“Want is a big word,” you hum. You link your fingers together, think of your mom when she spoke to you last.

“You have to come, Y/N. I promised him he’d always be a part of our family, and if you don’t go he won’t feel welcome. Surely you’re over him, by now?”

“My whole family is going and I think my mom will disown me if I don’t go. I told you, he’s as much part of the family as I am. If I didn’t go, it’d be like… Me not going to my brother’s wedding.”

“But he’s not your brother.” Will still looks like he can’t believe what he’s hearing. “He’s a cheating ex!”

You sigh. “They don’t know about the cheating part, actually.”

When you and Noah broke up, you hadn’t been in a good place. You felt embarrassed, but most of all, worthless. Like it had been your fault he cheated: if only you had been prettier, skinnier, smarter, funnier, better, he wouldn’t have had to. He wouldn’t have fallen for Betty – his soon to be wife – if you’d been enough.

So, ashamed as you were, and knowing how much your family loved Noah, you didn’t tell them the truth. You simply told them you’d broken up because you’d grown apart, become different people.

In a way, you still think you made the right choice. You don’t think they would’ve chosen Noah’s side if you’d told them the truth, but it would’ve hurt them to cut him out of their lives, and still to this day he comes over all the time to fix stuff at their house or make them dinner.

You’re thankful for the way he cares about your parents, even if he never cared about you.

You try to explain this all to Will, but no matter what you say, the deep edged frown in his forehead doesn’t leave.

“I still think it’s bullshit,” he declares, a little too loudly, when you’re done. “But at least I get why Zach wants me to go with you, now. As a barrier.” 

He’s puffing his chest a little and it would be cute if it wasn’t so typically William-Nylander-out-there, and now you’re wondering if he’s making fun of you or if he’s being genuine.

“You don’t need to be a barrier,” you say, deciding to give him the benefit of the doubt. “I just didn’t want to show up alone and have everyone think I’m still all kinds of messed up about this. I want people to know I’m doing great in life.”

When you see Will’s questioning gaze, you frown at him. “Don’t be sexist. I am doing great in life, even if I don’t have a boyfriend. I don’t need a boyfriend for that. It’s just that my family seems to disagree with that.”

“That’s not just a female thing,” Will says, and he seems to genuinely get it. “My mom asks me about twenty times every week if I’ve found a girlfriend yet. She wants grandbabies and she wants them now.”

“Even with your hockey career?” you ask him. It seems silly to you, for Will’s family to focus on grandkids when Willy is still so young, living his dream in the NHL.

Will laughs. “She doesn’t care about that. She says she’s had enough of that with dad. She’s proud of me for my career, but she wants me to have the family life, too, and she worries it’s gonna be too late really soon.”

“You’re 24, not 55,” you huff. Will shrugs, but he’s smiling.

“Either way,” he says. “I can go with you to that guy’s wedding, and I can be your handsome, succesful, charming pretend-boyfriend.”

“And so humble,” you scoff, but there’s a weight lifting from your shoulders at his words.

“However,” Will continues, and the weight is back instantly. Damn it, you shouldn’t celebrate so soon. “My cousin, who lives in Calgary, has this baby shower, gender reveal party situation going on next week, and I don’t wanna listen to my entire family ask me when I’m gonna get a girlfriend for my babies every six minutes. So you have to come with me to that.”

You quickly do the thinking; one gender reveal party can’t last very long, you’ll just have to eat colored cakes and smile at people’s baby stories and chug some champagne, and then your wedding fears will be over.

However…

“Okay,” you say, “but my boss is getting married this weekend and I told him I had a plus one because I did, but Zach canceled because he’s a loser.”

Or, because his knee is bothering him and he’s doing some extra physical therapy to rehab it more. Whatever.

“So you’ll come with me to that, too, and we can practice for the real thing.”

“The real thing?” Will’s eyes twinkle and there’s an amused tilt to the corners of his mouth, and you realize you made it sounds as if you and him are gonna get married.

You glare at him and kick his feet under the table, and Will laughs a loud, obnoxious laugh that has always irked you but now that his full attention is on you, suddenly something like warm pride glows in your chest.

Maybe, this won’t be so bad after all.

Famous last words. 

#william nylander #william nylander fic #toronto maple leafs #nhl fic

[laynemorgan]

These past few weeks -- this past presidency really -- have been wildly eye opening for me. As a liberal white person, I’ve spent the better part of the last few years learning and unlearning, checking myself, checking my peers, etc. But these last few weeks it has been even more so. Unsure of what to do with my voice in the din of twitter, and preferring to elevate voices of people of color around me, I wound up taking to facebook, spending the better part of the last months sharing political posts that I had died off on posting after Trmp’s election, confronting relatives and family friends that i had, a few years ago, decided i’d need to just come to terms with. Through all of it, I have seen a lot of grace. I’ve seen a lot of learning. And I’ve scene a lot of stubborn refusal to learn. And I’ve been those people. I’ve been learning but I’ve also refused to. I’m hoping to change that now. 

A few months ago, a girl on twitter approached me. She was angry. She confronted me flat out about how I felt that it was okay for me to preach equality and social issues as someone who had been so bad at confronting and apologizing for my own missteps in the past. As someone who had hurt people without consequence. She was right. I told her that. She told me that my previous apologies had been shitty and selfish. And she was right. I promised her I’d write a new one. 

And then I never did. 

When our world erupted into protests and marches and major social movement this last month, I became immediately embarrassed. The words I had promised had never made it out. I prioritized a million other things in my life instead of the people I had hurt. I regret that. So so so much. I regret not immediately writing an apology that I truly meant when it was pointed out to me how much I had let it all fall off my radar. I regret only thanking that one girl on twitter for her time and education and not the many, many other voices who had been trying to reach me over the years. I should have done that right away. I should have done that even before, without it having to be brought to my attention. I thought that because I had learned and knew better, because I personally knew where I had gone wrong and wouldn’t do it again, that it was over. But the truth is, that was a lesson I hadn’t been ready to learn either. That the people we’ve hurt don’t go away, that shitty apologies don’t make up for pain, that having selfish things to do with our time doesn’t excuse not prioritizing growth and reflection and acknowledgement. So for starters, I am sorry for that. I am sorry that it took me four years to say anywhere on the internet that i KNEW that apology I wrote was shitty. I’m sorry it took me four years to acknowledge to anyone how wrong it was that I was constantly requiring them to push me toward change. I am so sorry it has still taken me a months since that twitter exchange this year, and a full month since I realize I’d STILL forgotten about it to be here. And writing this. I’ve been selfish. I’ve shoved all of your important words and experiences and thoughts and lessons to a place where I could look at them when it was convenient for me. And that was fucking selfish. And ignorant. 

To now skip all of that intro and go into more detail, this whole story begins in my fandom days. When I loved and adored The 100 and was a very active member of that fandom. The reveal of Clarke’s bisexuality, the introduction of their Lesbian character, Lexa were important to me. In making that clear, I said in a tweet that another character, Bellamy (portrayed by Filipino actor Bob Morley) was less important and received preferential treatment by the fans due to his ability to be seen as a “hot white guy.” In short, I entirely erased Bob’s lived experience as a non-white man, I erased the visibility that Bellamy created for men like him, and when it was pointed out to me, I doubled down. I defended my stance, I fumbled to explain myself over and over. I thought that because my intent was not to harm that it excused me from the impact of what I had said. And it didn’t. What I said was wrong. It was erasure, it was ignorant and came from my own unchecked racism. I know that now. I didn’t then. I was embarrassed and upset that people thought the worst of me. When what I should have been was humble and willing to listen. And THAT is what is truly embarrassing. 

Then came the apology, several years later. I had spent time arguing about a cause that effected me personally and suddenly, was moved to more properly address what I had done. But again, my apology was about me. It came on my time, a day late and a dollar short. It wasn’t an apology at all. It was an explanation, a plea for understanding, laden with white fragility that I hadn’t yet examined. It was an apology that had learned how to fix what went wrong but hadn’t actually learned what was wrong about what I’d said and done. It stepped over the voices of the people who had been fighting to teach me. It re-centered myself, my experience, my emotions. And again, it was selfish. 

To be explicitly clear: the way I behaved toward the people who corrected me and tried to educate me in both of those instances was shameful. My inability to listen something I am actively working on as much as I can. I am so so sorry to those people especially, to Bob whether he knew about this incident or not, and to the entire fandom community at large for setting such a shitty example. 

This apology isn’t only about that moment, though. I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting lately, and I wanted to make sure to talk about other stuff too. Other stuff that no one has been publicly calling me out for, but that is still bad. Whether it’s pointed out to me or not. Because I think growth is important and I think it’s important to humble ourselves to know when we were wrong, to look back on our actions once we have learned better and pull out the bad parts, show people, teach others. In my years in fandom, I made a thousand missteps. I was quick to get upset, when someone said a show or character I loved was racist or had done something racist. I was the person always shouting that not everything is racist. I was a fucking ignorant. I dug my heels in simply to defend things, without taking time to listen, without understanding the history of pain that people of color face when it comes to stories and representation. I thought I was smarter than I was. 

I didn’t listen when I was told that you can’t dreamcast a next gen character of a mixed race couple with just one of those races. I didn’t listen when white washing was explained to me. I was too stubbornly wrapped up in the things I wanted and my own perceived kindness and correctness to think that I could get something wrong, that I could need to put in a modicum of effort to change my ways. “There just aren’t that many mixed actors,” I’d say. But because I couldn’t name any off the top of my head didn’t mean they didn’t exist. And frankly, the fact that I couldn’t name any was shameful too. I know now, how important racial representation is. Again, I am sorry for not listening. I am sorry for whitewashing and for thinking that simply dubbing myself a good person and good ally didn’t make it so. I was too proud to learn. I’m working on dismantling that fragility too. 

I work in television now. I work in television because I want nothing more than to tell stories about everyone. This year I got my first script. And that same girl who called me on twitter a few months ago told me she didn’t want to support the show I worked on because she didn’t trust a project that I worked on. That fucking devastated me. I wanted to proudly wave the expectational diverse show I loved over my head and say “but look what we did!!” And when that instinct hit me, this time, for the first time, I checked myself. Because what I did didn’t matter without fixing what I had done. Without earning that trust back, without making it abundantly clear where my head and my heart are now. Something that felt “so long ago” to me was fresh and painful for other people. Being able to shove it away was a privilege I had and didn’t see. I had sat in the writers’ room on that show and advocated for our representation and felt proud of the stories we told. But none of that matters if I haven’t checked myself, and fixed the hurt that I’ve caused, personally first. 

I am truly sorry. I’m sorry for the mistakes I inevitably forgot about making that did not make this post. I’m sorry for the ignorance that made them less important to me than they are still to the people of color who witnessed them and the things I perpetuated. I’m sorry for not understanding that I can contribute to the problem, that I can BE the problem. I’m sorry for talking over you, for not listening to you, for letting you be the villain in my head and my heart and out here on my public profile for so long. I’m ashamed of my past, but I don’t want to keep letting time go without talking about. I want to bring my selfishness and my ignorance into the light and talk about it. I don’t want to cause anyone hurt for any longer than I need to, and I’m so sorry for never giving anyone closure on any of this before, even when I thought I had gotten it for myself. Thank you for reading this. Thank you for trying so hard to explain shit to me that I just didn’t hear. I know I’m inclined to wordy bullshit. I want you all to know that I’m listening. I’m late. But I’m listening. And again, I am sorry for having hurt you in the first place. I was wrong. I will likely be wrong again. But I promise you that I will do everything in my power to never, ever be as unwilling as I have been to learn. I am educating myself all the time now, in hopes that you won’t ever have to educate me again. But should that day come, I promise to meet you with the grace, humility, and open mind that I should have a long time ago. 

[babysprouseisart]

sprousehart my ass. cole blocked zumpie but you still reblog from her?? go suck a dick you retarted cunt

Oh goodness... I think the ‘Get Lili away from your username and pfp you cunt’ part is yours too, so enjoy being blocked...

First of all, I don't know what you meant by using your very 'eloquent' - 'sprousehart my ass...', whether it was your resemblance to them or trying to appeal to your own ass with a plea about your suppressed feelings, either way it's ridiculously dumb. And in the first case, it is that neither Cole, nor Lili are your ass. It sounds so stupid and disrespectful, even the slightest bit of fat on your ass is not worthy to have an attitude to these two people, especially so respected. And if your anger is because you really are a true fan of them both and idealize them, especially Lili as I see it, then you mustn't even put those two words together, one of which is so nasty, and should show respect for your faves. And in the second case you come out as just rude, uncouth, abusive, uncultured, and I am sure that even many children younger than you will be smarter and more intelligent. What is even this, is this a set of random words or do I need to think about it? Your style of speech reminds me of the drunk bazaar dialect of the distant nineties of the end of the last century. Please, freaking learn grammar, writing and the logic. Second of all, you're clinging to some facts without knowing the details, for no reason, even though there's a lot of subtext, and if you have read everything that's written in her blog, and you'd look at all the evidence that proves her right in a certain place, and not grab what the brainless, crazy fanatics on Twitter are shouting, who are big hypocrites, and I hate it terribly, you would know why and how. I hope your little brain manages to process that people with a multi-million audience do not notice one person or even several percentages among the total number, because they simply do not care and do not have time to measure and filter them? Can you even imagine that Cole just decided to find her among 30-something million people and block her? It's completely absurd to drag this in as proof that he noticed it and blocked it out of great hatred, has been stalking her for some time in all the media and saw all that she said. And even if she is actually on his blacklist, it's only either because there was a clear glitch and in Instagram because of some often actions, or because he did it because 'someone' told him and probably asked him to do it, providing some information, which could be and, I am more than sure, was deliberately exaggerated. If you think otherwise and believe in all sorts of soap theories of your blind allies who spread hatred towards this person illegally, just because she is freely speaking about Lili or Cole on her untagged blog objectively and not hatefully, even if sometimes it may seem harsh. They clearly do not know the shit, are egoists who want to get only their own benefits and move others to their side, being hot fans of Lili for the most part and do not accept any slightest adequate, objective, neutral or slightly critical facts about her in addition to positive, thereby idealizing the person, which is such a hypocrite behavior and stimulated the double standart thing in relation to different famous or not-famous people and this is wrong on many levels. And I have no idea how to deal with the harming bugs like you and those who you support, because this is an unhealthy attitude, as no one has the right to send such waves of negativity to a person without properly understanding and, obviously, you need to reconsider your views on a lot of things, because unlike you, we - who may even lean more to Cole than to Lili and it does not matter if it has always been the case for a lot of people here or it has changed after some things in her attitude/behaviour changed, whether you accept it or not, it is a fact, and anyways even if you still want to argue with me, I don't give a fuck, I'll stand my ground - never ever specifically come to other blogs to throw so much shit on those who have a different idea, nor we did idolize any of them seriously without the basement, and do not argue so much about not accepting any of  the flaws, cause we soberly understand that any person has it and so do Cole and Lili. And, in conclusion, do you really think you, here, without knowing me personally and not being an authority for me, have a right to call me or the people I support names, tell me what to do on my blog, about the content, organization and the design of it and what/from who should or shouldn’t I reblog things? No way in the world, sad, pathetic, obsessed piece of shit. And of the two of us, you're the one who will suck cock just because you're a jerk who has nothing to do and can't do anything else. Oh, yeah, I forgot, I'm not a freak like you so excuse my sharp language, I'm just trying to talk to you fairly, in a way you understand... Bye!

#cole sprouse #zumpie #katie talks #lili reinhart #I support them both #no matter what #I just do not agree with everything she says or does recently #anon hate #anons #nasty anons #cowards #people are hypocrites #seriously #I have double standarts #god. this #sprousehart #it is not your business #i blog what i want #sorry not sorry

[psycho-slytherin]

Strangers ch. 34

Yoongi finds your phone– and so does someone else...

Pairing: Yoongi x (female) Reader

Word count: 1.8k

Genre: fluff, angst

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<–– Prev   Next ––>

You force a laugh. “What are you talking about?”

“Don’t lie to me, y/n,” Yoongi says softly, his voice a knife in your back. “These– Jesus.” He exhales sharply as your phone buzzes again, again, again. You would’ve turned your notifications off months ago, but you need Twitter for your jobs. “How long has it been like this?”

@satanhasaholdoffrance: hey @yourname make like a tree and die

@queenynuwu: I hope y/n knows we love her!! <3 @yourname

@gummyyoongi: has anyone found @yourname‘s address yet?

“I don’t know what you mean,” you reply stubbornly. You don’t want your weight on Yoongi’s shoulders, not when you know he’ll blame himself.

“Bullshit. You said this wasn’t happening! You told me that my fans weren’t coming after you.”

“And you never checked,” you reply, your throat tight. “You know what I am. I’m a liar. And you trusted me– that’s your mistake.”

Yoongi flinches. “I know you don’t mean that.”

You begin trembling, your hands and arms and shoulders tensing against your will. “You shouldn’t trust me, Yoongi.” I’ve kept too many secrets from you.

“Well, I do trust you. I know you too well, y/n, and you don’t mean that. But this?” He taps your phone. “This is messed up.”

You take a step back, shrinking into yourself. “I-I’m sorry.”

“What? No. Why are you apologizing?” Yoongi gets up and walks towards you, his eyes intense. “My fans– the stuff they’re saying– that’s what’s messed up. And y/n, I’m so, so sorry this happened. You don’t deserve it.”

“I, uh...” you mumble, confused. Why isn’t he angry at you? You lied to him, again and again and again. “Sorry...”

Yoongi sighs, a smile playing at the corner of his mouth. “What are you even apologizing for?”

“I don’t know!” You cry. “I thought you’d be mad at me!”

“I’m not mad at you, y/n-ie.” Yoongi raises his arm and brushes a loose strand of hair out of your face. “I’m just worried. The comments you’re getting, the haters... they’re too much for anyone.”

Your mind drifts to the nightmares, the thoughts that your hate comments have inspired within you.

Yoongi’s gaze darkens, but he’s not looking at you– he’s staring far off, at something beyond. “I’ve seen idols, trainees– friends– that internalized those things, and they didn’t see an escape... no one is equipped to deal with this shit alone, no one.” Yoongi swallows, and his voice wavers. “So don’t try, y/n. You’re not alone, and I can’t lose you.”

You blink hard before drawing back and punching Yoongi in the arm.

“Ow!” Yoongi yelps, rubbing his arm. “What the hell?”

“That’s for being dramatic,” you say, using all your willpower to keep your voice light. “And this–” you poke him in the ribs– “is for being selfish. I don’t wanna lose me either, nerd. It’s not all about you.”

“Sorry, sorry,” Yoongi laughs. “My bad, I almost forgot that you’re a force to be reckoned with.”

“Just don’t let it happen again,” you sniff haughtily.

“I won’t, promise. Hey, do you need a lift to your next job?”

“Nah, I’ll take the bus. I’m not famous like you,” you reply. Besides, you want to be alone with your thoughts.

“Suit yourself. I have to go to the studio anyways.”

“Another BTS comeback already?” You muse, and Yoongi winks.

“Nope.”

~~~

Once Yoongi leaves, you wriggle into another sweater and shrug your coat on over it. You can’t help but feel chilly lately, and you can’t afford to get a cold.

You leave your apartment building and quickly walk towards the bus stop. Your afternoon will be spent on a photoshoot for a new makeup line, and Lisa said you’d be able to keep some of the merchandise.

You adjust your face mask and pop in your earphones, your mind a whirling dervish of thoughts. You imagined Yoongi would be furious– after all, you’d promised no more secrets. You couldn’t help but keep your Twitter mess to yourself, because you didn’t want your friend to stress about it.

Friend... the word seems strange to you, almost wrong.

Well, we’re ‘dating’ now, you think, so I guess he’s my fake-boyfriend instead.

It’s weird; for years you were completely in love with Yoongi, besotted with his face and voice and laugh and lyrics. His shy, goofy nature. His irresistible charm. You remember when you and Lisa would scream together at every new music video, each concept photo, any hint or clue or theory. It seems so long ago now.

Speaking of Lisa... your phone begins buzzing with a call from your manager/friend.

“Y/n, darling, how are you doing? How’s the leg?”

“All healed up now,” you reply, flexing and unflexing your left leg. You lost a lot of blood, but your injury missed all the arteries and important stuff.

“Great. Hey, I lined up a job, it’s yours for the taking if you’re interested. They need an extra in a cologne commercial, it should only be a two-day shoot and we can plan around Moon Over The Sea. What do you think?”

“Yeah, sounds good,” you murmur absentmindedly. “How much does it pay?”

“Pretty well, your cut would be only a little less than you’re making on the makeup shoot today.”

“Alright, sign me up.”

“Great. And... how’s it going with Yoongi?”

You jolt. “What?”

“C’mon, y/n, you can’t expect me not to ask. You’re dating your idol!”

“I-I’m not, really...”

“Oh, shush. It’s official, isn’t it? BigHit confirmed it last week. I can’t believe you didn’t tell me you were together!”

You grit your teeth– you have to tell her the truth. “Lisa, seriously, it’s not real.”

“I know, I bet it totally feels like a fairy tale, huh? I’m so jealous.” Lisa’s voice gets quieter, pouty. “We have to hang out soon, it’s been ages since we’ve had a proper gossip sesh!”

“But...”

“No buts! I’m ordering you as your manager to hang out with your best friend... who is also your manager... who is also me.”

You can’t help but laugh. “Yes ma’am, just pencil me in.”

“Will do! See you soon.”

“See ya.

Humming to yourself, you continue your bus ride, arriving at the studio a few minutes early. A fashionable young man strides up to you bearing shorts and a shirt.

“Ah, you’re here. L/n y/n, right? Perfect, perfect, put these on and we’ll get you straight into hair and makeup.”

“Uhh...” you examine the outfit he gave you. “Are you sure this is for me?”

“Of course I am, what are you talking about?”

“It’s black, these shorts are made of leather, and...” you trail off, gulping. “It’s all very tight.” That’s right, clothes like these will only hug the curves you don’t have. You’re not a sex icon like some of the female idols you’ve seen Yoongi with on TV. You know as someone in the entertainment industry, you’re supposed to be fashionable– but you’re too much a fan of oversized sweaters and soft pants to let them go. “I don’t know if this outfit suits me.”

“Nonsense, you’re beautiful– you just need the confidence! Besides, you’re gonna have to get used to this type of stuff if you want to get anywhere in your career,” the man chuckles. “Changing room is over there. When you’re ready, head to hair and makeup.”

“R-right,” you mumble, taking the clothes. They look so cold, you shiver just thinking about putting them on.

Ten minutes later, you stare at yourself in the mirror. Staring back at you seems to be a child, a little girl who doesn’t belong, who can barely fill out the tight crop top or shorts. And you’re supposed to be dating Yoongi? You don’t know if you want to laugh or cry. Yoongi deserves better, someone prettier, smarter, who looks like they belong at his side. In your mind’s eye, you can see Yoongi next to you in the mirror– black-haired, a brow raised, his mouth quirking upwards in a lazy smirk. He looks like a prince, a god, and you look like you’re playing dress-up next to him. No wonder so many people are upset; you’re doing Yoongi no favors by being with him.

You sigh and shake your head. You’re cold, so cold, and you hate it. You turn away from the mirror to get your hair and makeup done.

“Okay, can you give me a little lip bite? Something cheeky? Oh, perfect! Yes, hold like that!” The camera flashes while you sit frozen in place. “Cross your legs now, hold the lipstick closer to your face... can you give me bedroom eyes?”

Face flushed, you lower your lashes and pout your lips like you’ve seen real models do, and the camera flashes again and again. The lipstick you’ve got on is a brighter red than you’ve ever dared to wear, and combined with the outfit and your bold eyeliner, you look a little edgy.

“Great, y/n, you’re doing wonderfully. We need one more photo for the spread...” the photographer looks around the photo studio, which is a rather minimalist set. “Can someone get me that chair? Y/n, sit on it backwards and try for a smirk– like an ‘I’m-better-than-you’ face.”

But I’m not. Still you try, channeling your inner Seokjin as you fix the camera with your best downward stare, and then half smiling as though you’ve got a secret– which you do, too many to count. Half a dozen shots later, you’re dismissed with the promise that the money will be wired to your account by Friday.

The next morning, you wake up to the familiar buzzing of your notifications, again and again and again. You haven’t overslept, have you? No, your clock informs you that it’s not even six AM. You groan and flip your phone over to read your new mentions.

@beautyoftheseoul: Check out our new line of matte lipsticks, modeled by #MoonOverTheSea’s @yourname!

@chimyoongles: Omg @2460sunshine did you see that @yourname liked a yoongi thirst tweet? Lmaooo I’m dying she’s rly all of us

@scarletwitchisjunghoseok: I think I love @yourname now that she’s exposed herself as an army lololol

@captainkookie21: why are ppl stanning @yourname for her fuckup lol it just goes to show what a liar and a slut she is.

You blink sleepily. You liked a tweet about Yoongi? You’ve been careful about doing that ever since you became a public figure, in case Yoongi noticed. You tap through your likes and gasp:

@slutfordionysus: rt if you want Suga to crush you between his thighs, like if you want him to use his tongue technology on you ;)

Oh, fuck. You never liked that. You’ve never even seen that tweet. Which means... you’ve been hacked?

#bts #bangtan #suga #yoongi #min yoongi #min suga #bts fluff #bts angst #bts drabble #bts au #yoongi fluff #yoongi angst #yoongi drabble #yoongi au #suga fluff #suga angst #suga drabble #suga au #bts series #yoongi x reader #suga x reader #bts x reader #bts fic #yoongi fic #suga fic #bts fanfic #yoongi fanfic #suga fanfic #yoongi x you #suga x you

[childoftimeandmagic]

Burning for You

Klaroline AU Week 2019 is here, catch me sneaking this in under the wire. Thank you @itsnotacrimetoloveyou for getting my author juices flowing again. 

Read on AO3 

               Growing up when giants walked the earth Caroline often felt older than she truly was. That being said being reborn often made her feel exactly her age. Stranding slowly, her head fuzzy with the details, she glanced around her store and groaned. The scorched tile and ashes of where her store had been made sense. Feeling her chest, she felt the healing wound on her chest. Bullet wound, wood by the fact she’d rebirthed so quickly. Humans had the most entertaining toys to play with, holding out her hand she absorbed the residual flames and heat back into her body. If anyone had been around to notice it, they would have seen the briefest glimpse of fiery wings rising behind the naked blonde.

           Taking a deep breath, she started moving through the rubble of her jewelry store for anything of value to take with her. Since she’d most likely be considered dead from a mysterious fire, it was time to leave Mystic Falls. After recovering a hundred pieces of gold and silver gemstone encrusted pieces, she took a deep breath and in a swirl of blue fire disappeared from the rubble, just as sirens started to pour in.

           Unbeknownst to Caroline someone had been watching her stumble through her former store. Someone who had been looking for the being that couldn’t be killed by a weapon of man nor flame of the gods. A man who was bent on controlling or killing the powerful beings in creation. Someone who believed himself to be the most powerful creature to walk the earth. Klaus Mikaelson stalked from the shadows across the Mystic Falls square his suspicion confirmed.

           People had murmured his entire immortal life of the powers of rejuvenation and destruction a Phenix controlled. A nice bedtime story for those who needed a miracle or a plea of vengeance. Then the alters had started popping up, about six hundred years ago or so. Whispers saying that if one left a vibrant gemstone, or something of equal beauty the Auroral Phenix would answer their prayer. Klaus had dismissed it as the blithering tales of human’s hell bent on praying for anyone to save them or protect them.

           Then his minions had started pouring in stories of villages being burned down the day after an opal or precious stone had been left at one of these alters in the woods. Soon more stories came in of the sick miraculously healing. Abusers of women and children, catching fire spontaneously while walking through the town after a doll from a little girl or toy cart from a little boy had been left with pleas for help. Yet no one saw anything but a burst pretty petite blonde near the location of every occurrence. Soon his interest was piqued, Rebekah and Elijah had amused his curiosity to an extent.

           Caroline reappeared five thousand miles away in her villa ruins of Despotiko. While she could have reappeared anywhere, her family home was were her body always pulled following a rebirth, over the last two thousand years she’d given up on resisting the pull. Despotiko was protected and a national archaeological site for the Greeks. Whether or not they’d ever actually owned it or not was of little matter at this point, the ancient history of man and nymphs lost to time. Once islands across the Mediterranean had been known to be sanctuaries for the children of the gods. Walking through the broken pillars to where she could look out over the bay, she closed her eyes.

           Lots of mythos surrounded her people but, in the end, she was the last one left. Shapeshifting hadn’t protected them as much as Helios and Hephaestus had hoped. Man was a cruel race willing to destroy anything it didn’t feel it could control or conquer adequately. Rolling her shoulders, she walked over to her mother’s chest, that she had here masked by magic and careful misdirection. There were sentimental things, like her mother’s molting plumage which never faded, an aquamarine pendent in the shape of a tear, as well as practical things like clothes and weapons. Grabbing her gear, she got dressed quickly. Placing the gems and jewelry she’d recovered from the remnants of Rising Jewelers ashes into the box she placed her hands on the chest and said a prayer to her father to protect her from whatever was chasing her.

She like her mother, was child of an air nymph and the sun god Helios. Nymphs who bore a Phenix didn’t survive the birth, so most Phenix’s lived with an older member of the flock until maturity which was between six hundred and eight hundred years old. While they rarely stayed in human forms, their avian forms in the end had been their undoing.

As humans had realized that they were demi-gods or the grandchildren of a titan and a being of Gia, the desire to control grew. Phenix’s could neither be controlled or tamed, they also couldn’t be recreated through interbreeding. Then the age of iron had come, and with-it man’s weapons grew stronger. Unbeknownst to her flock or her father, to prevent them from growing too strong, Zeus had cursed his cousin’s children to be burned by the touch of iron. As such they could only be killed by iron through the heart or brain.

While man had destroyed her culture 1200 years ago, her god father had spirited her away from the blood bath and placed her with cousin Hephaestus in the volcanic chasms underground until she’d reached maturity of six hundred years old. Carolina as she’d been known then had trained as a jewel smith under her god cousin, who was amazed at her ability to focus and her attention to details.

The old gods slumbered now though, their worshipers far and in-between, not enough to keep them awake. Caroline drifted through the world of man taking time to help innocents here and there. Caroline missed her flock often especially after a traumatic rebirth, but life moved on and with time so did she. Man was impressionable though and with a few well-placed whispers and alters popping up on every continent she thrived.

 She pulled a replacement phone from the chest and plugged in the password to unlock it. Walking around the ruins of her old life, she ran a security check on her various properties across the globe. Everything was fine except her store front in New Orleans. Rolling her eyes, she zoomed in on who was sitting on her counter. Niklaus Mikaelson. He had been sniffing after her tail feathers for six centuries. Still her deal with Kol Mikaelson not to engage with his older brother was the reason; why his overzealous murder happy brother wasn’t a crispy critter her to consume.

Growling low in her throat, she felt the fire rise within her. Taking multiple deep breaths didn’t keep her phantom flame wings from unfurling behind her, scorching the points of her shirt where her real wings would have come out of her back. Spinning on her heel she walked back to the chest and grabbed her favorite leather jacket. If Klaus Mikaelson wanted to fuck with her, he was about to find out that getting too close to an open flame got you eaten by the last daughter of the sun.

  Klaus was hoping that his minion wasn’t wrong otherwise he was sitting in gorgeous jewelry store that had been closed for five years. In fact, the store according to his minion had closed the day after he and his siblings had returned home. Klaus looked around the store from his spot on the counter impressed with the amount of gold and gems left just sitting on display. Was this woman really so powerful that she felt comfortable leaving such expensive things behind in her absence.

“You know getting ass sweat off of glass is a lot harder than people assume,” a crystal voice startled him out of his thoughts, “get off the furniture hybrid.”

Spinning he looked for the source of the voice, standing behind him was the slight blonde beauty who’d burned and the reformed in the rubble of a small-town jewelry store four nights previous. “So, you aren’t a myth?”

“No very much real now if you want to continue to terrorize your section of the supernatural realm, I suggest you leave now,” the blonde replied, barely looking at him. In fact, it looked almost like she was bored. Snarling he flashed forward only to meet heat and smoke. Turning on his heel he froze as he felt a burning pain on his back. “I told you to leave Mikaelson.”

“I’ve been looking for you,” he breathed through the pain trying to ignore the searing pain that burst forth from her hand on his back.

“You have hmmm, I don’t remember you calling me up or sending me a message on twitter,” she pushed more heat through her hand feeling the flesh start to burn under her hand, the shirt long gone.

“I didn’t think you’d take me call.” he wheezed flashing away finally giving up all pretense that it didn’t hurt to feel her touch.

“Oh, but breaking into one of my stores seemed much smarter,” Caroline was growing impatient. The predator in her wanted to eat him in one gulp, people forgot that some birds weren’t herbivores. She felt the fire from her hand itch to come out and play.

“I wanted to know if the stories were true, if you were the Auroral Phenix incarnate,” he said, shifting his shirt off to look at the scorch marks her hand had left. Only the marking looked more claw than fingered.

“So why not just ask, one apex predator to another?” she asked, looking around her store, and Klaus paused.

Up close he was amazed there weren’t more stories of how beautiful this blonde woman was. Eyes that made him feel he was staring into the deepest pools of water, and hair that could only be described as spun gold. “I never heard tale of a Phenix’s kill, or destruction until you started burning whole villages down as you pleased.”

“It’s not my fault man built their homes out of such flammable material, if they couldn’t handle a little heat then they shouldn’t beat their wives or children,” Caroline stated, as though the thought of not burning down a tinder box of a wooden home hadn’t occurred to her. She was working ridiculously hard at focusing on his ches-no eyes. God why did immortality tend to happen to the only physically gifted individuals of the world.

“So you only ever burned down villages of people who deserved it?” Klaus asked, stepping closer.

“Sometimes a rebirth went wrong, or my heart too heavy to contain my flame,” Caroline sighed, she was growing bored.

“It’s true though, all the stories about your kind though?” he asked, pushing closer when she made no move to stop him.

“Depends on what you’ve heard, though I doubt any of it was actually correct.”

“You don’t cry healing tears, nor journey to the ends of the world to die and be reborn?”

“Maybe yes, but maybe no,” Caroline answered, moving around her store looking to check if he’d stolen anything, always keeping one eye on the man in her store.

“Don’t play games girl,” he growled.

“Girl, that’s rich, I was in my first thousand years when your people hadn’t yet learned how to make swords.” Caroline spun on him so quick he felt off kilter. In a thousand years he’d never met anything or one who made him feel weak. Her hair glowing an almost auburn kind of gold, the color of molten metal. “Either tell me what the great Hybrid wants with me or be gone!”

“Madam,” he cleared his throat. “I merely thought that us powerful creatures should get to know one another better.”

“Bullshit, those words might work with the witches, and fae queens you’re used to dealing with, but my magic is older than the magic of man and far less forgiving Niklaus Mikaelson,” Caroline felt her body aching to change and devour the abomination before her. Stealing the monster inside herself she remembered the teachings of her mother and her people.

“It’s actually my sister Rebekah, she’s been poisoned by something and withers away day by day, I was looking for you because Kol told us that only you could save her,” he relented, stepping back.

“You came to ask a favor, or did you think you could force my hand Niklaus Mikaelson?” she said, eyebrow arched as flame wings glinted behind her reflecting off the gold and silver pieces hanging around the store.

Klaus was at a loss for words, if this was her half transformed, with wings of flame, it belied a beautiful creature in her natural form. He could see shades of reds, blues, and yellows, rippling over her hair and through the flames behind her. “I wasn’t going to take no for an answer.”

“Bring me the thing you value most and I’ll give you the gift to save your sister,” she said, stalking forward and holding her hand out to him. Taking it, he hissed as the heat seared his palm. Pulling away he saw a scar on his palm in the shape of swirling smoke.

When he looked up, he was alone on the roof top of One Shell Square, alone. Spinning around he saw a faint sparkle of something flying off into the night sky a thousand yards away from him. Growling he flashed home to see how Rebekah was faring in his absence.

 Two days passed and Klaus had not come back to her shop. She was calmer now, the heat of the rebirth finally worn off. Sighing she turned back to her styling and sculpting of the vial that she would use to hold her tears. A phenix’s tears gained their healing ability from the lost souls that they cried for. Crying allowed them to protect and preserve themselves and their flock outside of rebirth. Even if Klaus didn’t come back, she would leave the vial on Rebekah’s bedside. She need only drink the tears and all curses, maladies, and pain would leave her body.

Standing she walked to the garden outside her workroom, she knelt down and placed the vial at the center of the sundial design in the tile. Finally, she allowed herself to shift into her natural form. Deep red and yellow plumage spilled out as her bones thinned and shifted to become her real self. Shaking out her tail feathers, she let out a low mournful call, which startled every bird within a half mile out of their nests and into the sky.

Crying drops the color of molten gold, she angled her head so as the tears dripped down her face, they rolled off her beak and filled the vial below. She cried for all the women lost to anger, the children dead in the name of greed, and the loss of her family a millennium twice past. When the vial was full, and her heart felt as light as her bones she shook out her plumage and looked up into the sun which was highest in the sky.

“Thank you, father,” she silently prayed.

“Caroline?” he was here, curious she turned her head 180 degrees to look at him. Standing in the doorway of her work room was the hybrid empty handed. Cooing she looked at him eyes wide. Shifting back into her sun-dressed human form she shook off the few feathers that clung through the transformation. “Has anyone ever told you that you look like a fairy princess transforming in a gust of wind and flame?”

“I tend to eat most beings who see me transform, so no,” Caroline said softly, looking up at him as she knelt to stopper the vial. “I believe the deal was what you value most, in exchange for your sisters cure.”

“I thought about this for two whole days Nix, and I couldn’t come up with anything,” he said slowly, “my sister actually figured it out first, you want me to give myself to you in exchange for her.”

“I wanted the offer, but I’ve never left a woman to suffer,” Caroline laughed, and tossed the vial to him.

“Dinner on the gulf?” he offered, snatching it deftly out of the air.

“Our pact is fulfilled,” she answered, walking over and leaning up to kiss his cheek lightly. “Don’t be late.”

#kcauweek2019 #klaroline fanfic #klaroline fanfiction #klaroline drabbles

[tessatechaitea]

Scarab #4

Is this child porn? I hope this isn't child porn. I bet it's not child porn because this is a fetus.

Apparently this is why Marty was so bloody. He beat an old woman to death. Or to miscarriage.

Marty claims the old woman wouldn't stop screaming so he had to beat her. But why wouldn't she stop screaming? Was Marty raping her? Probably. As I mentioned before, Marty believes the women of this town deserve physical violence. Although he ended last issue screaming, "Look what it did to me," which doesn't make any sense in this context. Maybe he just means Pan drove him crazy by not allowing him to kill himself? So this violence is Pan's fault and not part of Marty's toxic masculinity? Marty goes on to explain the entire story to Scarab so that the reader isn't confused anymore. All the men in town were castrated by Pan who then pissed in their mouths. And afterward, either due to visions of heavenly glory or the ripest of all embarrassments, they marched into the sea and killed themselves. Except Marty had a broken leg so he didn't get to experience the beauty and wonder of castration followed by ritual suicide. But earlier this evening, he glimpsed Pan and came in his pants. I think the "Look what it did to me" while opening his pants before Scarab was to demonstrate he'd lost his balls. Then he beat the old woman to death because she couldn't stop screaming after seeing his mutilated manhood. So now Scarab feels like he needs to put things to right although it seems like the women of Whitehaven are happy with how things are going. And the men are dead so what do they care if somebody destroys Pan? I guess this is why I'm not a superhero because my first reaction to seeing dozens of naked women engaged in a passionate orgy is to think, "Things look good here! I guess I'll be off! After staring an inordinately long time. You know, to just top off the wank bank."

Meanwhile, this pornographer happens upon the scene and decides to join in. Little does he realize, it's Pan's fetuses who are in control. He's fucking the fetuses!

Scarab seeps into the ground to confront Pan and to nobody's surprise, Pan threatens to fuck his arse off when they finally meet. This is another reason why I'm not a superhero or Jesus Christ. Because I can't resist temptation. If I were Jesus Christ, Kazantzakis's The Last Temptation of Christ could probably still have been called that. But, just to clarify, it would also have been The First Temptation of Christ. Satan would have been, "Look. Knock this shit off for a handful of Fizz candy and a Snickers bar?" And I would have been all, "Ooh! Fizz!" Scarab punches Pan and Pan responds by saying, "Hey man! Why so violent?! Sheesh. Let's be civil. Come inside my lair and let's talk. Watch out for the puddles of semen. Don't touch those socks. I apologize for the stench."

Pan reveals his real name and exposes himself for the vanilla sex monster he really is.

Why would Pan joyfully claim he's the missionary position?! At least be "The Beast Whose Penis Looks Like a Backwards Woman So I Can Stare Straight Up Her Butthole as We Fuck!" It turns out Pan is dying. Probably because he only fucks in one the worst position. Scarab can't convince Pan not to die so Pan dies. Some hero. After Pan dies, the women of the town begin realizing they don't want to be pregnant with a smell goat god's disgusting progeny so they begin to perform abortions on themselves or scream until they miscarry or simply go insane. Pan told Scarab that Eleanor will be taking care of his children. I don't know if he meant because they're all going to be killed now or because they'll be born into the Net or any number of other stupid reasons I can come up with through my terrible ability to speculate. The pornographer turns out to be Sidney Sometimes, the Fortean publisher, who I completely forgot about because I read that section of this comic book yesterday. Maybe he'll become the Scarab's lead on weird things to investigate. The issue ends with one more revelation: the "it" in Marty's "Look what it did to me" was indeed impregnation. I'm not going to rule out the castration as well but that wasn't ever explicit. So Marty wanders off to ignore what's going to happen when he gives birth because it certainly won't be a lot of fun finding out. Scarab #4 Rating: C. I think Pan fucked up this entire town just to get a few more months of life. I can respect that. People act horrified at the thought of bathing in baby's blood to stay eternally young but, I mean, seriously, if that were an actual option, we'd find out a whole lot of people were way less concerned about the welfare of infants.

#Scarab #John Smith #Scot Eaton #Vertigo #DC Comics #DC

[bettinalevyisdetermined]

It’s been a long day. XD

As most of you know, the tweets that Toby Fox posted on his and Undertale’s Twitter accounts yesterday woke the whole Undertale fandom up and put everyone on the hype-train, including me. I felt fortunate enough to have the time I needed to record myself reading these tweets, edit myself to sound all spooky-like, and then make a good quality video I could be proud to post for Halloween.

I decided it would be fun to make this video my first experimantal run with YouTube’s new “premiere” feature, and because I believed Toby Fox’s 24 hour warning was at 8am (it was actually closer to 9am), I scheduled my video for a 7am upload... Which means I was up at 6:30, chilling and texting with the people who were sweet enough to wait for the premiere of my video. ^,^ It was so fun to see you guys reacting to it in real time! At one point there were about 100 people! I’d love to do another premiere in the future, but yeah, definitely at a more decent hour for me. >_>

But hey, even with my video premiere out of the way, there was STILL the mystery surprise that Toby Fox had promised. My mom was out of the house for the morning (and most of the afternoon), so I took myself and my laptop to the living room and got in a call with my Discord peeps. (Thanks @kana-tokisho and @elric-murphy for joining me!) I decided to record myself reacting to whatever the surprise would be, and HOW GLAD I WAS THAT I DID!

I read the tweets, I went to www.deltarune.com, I downloaded the thing, and expected it was going to be a short survey, or maybe some kind of game demo, similar to the Ruins portion of Undertale... how wrong I was...  Long story short (I don’t want to reveal any more details than I have to), I ended up recording about 5 straight hours of footage on my computer. 0_o (Well, I mean almost straight. A phone rang here, a move to the bedroom there, it was pretty much 5 hours out of my day.)

By the time I stopped recording myself, I felt like I’d run a marathon... but the day wasn’t over! The funny thing was, I’d skipped breakfast in order to play this thing, so I felt pretty weak and crazed, on top of not getting enough sleep. XD Plus I still had to work to do with my sister! (I should really share what I actually do for work besides YouTube with you guys at some point...) I’ll tell you, I had a pretty big feeling of whiplash, going from the world in the game to my regular life...

Have you ever had that feeling where you feel physically weakened, and you know you should be drained of all energy, but the gears in your head are too excited to care, and they’re spinning and humming nonstop with all the inifinite possibilities, and you can’t help but feel super happy?! I think that’s how I would describe it... Annette and I went out for a walk after a work, and I unleashed and unloaded all the things I’d seen and experienced to her (at least as much as I could describe), and that felt amazing... I’m really glad I had her to talk to. You don’t know HOW MUCH I want to discuss my thoughts and theories with you guys, but I feel that’s gonna to have to wait a day or two... Don’t want to spoil the experience for anyone else, after all...

So yeah, all this to say... It’s probably going to be a while before I’m able to tackle that 5 hour recording I made today... A part of me wants to work on it RIGHT NOW, but the smarter part says I should get an early night’s rest, to make up for all my lost sleep this morning... I’m gonna listen to that smarter part... but wouldn’t you know it, my mind is still reeling with the excitement for when it’ll be acceptable for me to make this into a proper gameplay series for you guys!!!

Oh yeah, and on top of that, I forgot that it’s Halloween! XD I finally saw the new Doctor Who episode with my brother and sister, the one with the spiders. It was the perfect thing to see for Halloween. ^_^ I hope you guys all had fun costuming, partying, trick or treating, and being in the spoopy mood today.

Until next time! Bettina out

#deltarune #no spoilers #Happy Halloween

[doomsday519]

.

Just gonna have a mind dump here...

I feel like I’m stuck in limbo...

But the funny thing is life’s been the best it’s ever been. Got a job and I keep myself entertained and shit but at the same time I’m kinda stuck. 

I’m alone in a house of 5 people, no friends to hang out with, no relationship prospects. But I’m managing and trying.

Funny thing about being so isolated despite people around me is that when I finally buy a house(still on the hunt), I’ll be isolated with no one around me and tbh I think that’s a little better. Loneliness I feel is worse when it occurs when there’s people around but u can’t reach out and I’m pretty much done with that shit. 

I feel better when I’m wandering around Baltimore or watching movies in Owings Mills. Some shit to distract me from how empty life is at the moment.

“I been going thru it, u just go around it”

And fuck everything going on in the US and the world currently. Fuck Trump, fuck Nazis, fuck the Alt-Right, fuck the GOP, fuck these libertarian dickheads who think they’re smarter than everyone, fuck that BPD cop who beat that nigga ass, fuck the racists causing the divide in Baltimore City and County, fuck Mark Wahlberg(go see Crazy Rich Asians), fuck Dave Meltzer, fuck Israel, fuck the UK and they racist journalism and politicians, fuck all the discrimination and xenophobia spreading around the world. Fuck the snitching ass Russian lady at my job. Fuck Nicki Minaj and Drake. Fuck everything.

But on a lighter note: been listening to the new Mac Miller and Travis Scott albums a lot. There’s been so much dope music out this year and I really appreciate that. And there’s been a dope movie almost every week so Fridays after work is always something to look forward to(not this Friday tho cuz I’m watching Joey Janela’s Lost In New Work event). Plus, I been removing some of the more toxic things in my life so that’s something. And I been growing out my beard more(the more that shit grows the more gray hairs i find lol).

Oh and I finally got a new phone. I been using the same Chinese phone for 2 years that doesn’t supports the bands to give me 4G and makes MMS unsendable among other trash things lol. I’m still using the old one cuz I forgot to buy a case at the same time for the new one and I refuse to use a phone without a case in case(get it?) I drop that shit and fuck it up as soon as I get it. 

Been on Twitter a lot more(@JoeyDoomsday). That’s partially why I’m not posting on here as much anymore.

I’m also on Bumble now. getting no prospects in the Baltimore area. I should just just delete the app but every now and then I open and swipe out of habit. Same with Tinder lol 

I may be alone but I’m grateful for the people who still care. I was thrown into the fire during my probation at my current job and had to work two places. The second place had some young engineers there that i really connected with before I got transferred back a few months ago and I’m happy that they are happy to see me every time I come up to visit. genuinely get mad when I don’t go to talk to them more often. Haven’t had people care about me being in their presence in a while and it’s nice given the fact that so many have drifted away recently.

#personal #thoughts #long post

[sunflowerchester]

please tell me what you thought!! I'm not worried about spoilers, i already know what happened, i'm gonna see it in a few days and i'm so psyched! tell me all your thoughts please!!!

I am so charged up about this movie I don’t even know where to fucking start!!! I guess I’ll start with my initial Twitter rant bc GODDDAAAAMMMMNNNN!

Here’s some non-spoilery things about the movie for those who don’t want to be spoiled:

Mother! is a horror movie for every woman whose pain was ever used & romanticized to further a man’s personal growth.

Mother! is a horror movie for women who have invested and fallen in love with a selfish man.

Mother! is a horror movie for women who feel the constant suffocating entitlement of the patriarchy.

Mother! is a horror movie for women who feel they’ve been constantly taken advantage of and are demonized for daring to speak up about it.

Mother! is a horror movie version of The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein. (And I said this BEFORE I saw this tweet by the director 😍)

Mother! is a horror movie for any woman who was only valued as a cure for a man’s pain instead of valued as a full, human person.

Mother! is a horror movie for women who were treated like IRL manic pixie dream girls and then tossed aside like garbage. 

Also I found it able to tap into horrors of being a woman that were subtle and specific in a slightly Get Out kind of way, imho. I felt very understood in many ways even as I was being horrified by what I was seeing. 

Below are some spoilery things:

The movie opens with a woman burning, a tear falling down her face, and then her turning to ash. Javier Bardem sets a gem stone on a stand and then a beautiful home surrounded by nature appears out of the ashes. I knew as soon as Javier Bardem’s character sat that gem on the mantel and the scene turned to Jennifer Lawrence appearing out of the ashes in bed that that is where the movie would end, and it would end with another girl in her place. 

AND IT DID. For a bit there at the end, I was wondering where it was headed because of the chaos, and I nearly forgot about the gem itself, but then we ended right where I expected. What I didn’t forsee was what the gem was made of: it was the last thing that Bardem’s character could squeeze out of his previous lover before she turned to ash, something beautiful that he could put on display before he started it all over again with someone new. 

GOD-FUCKING-DAMN

This movie is about a woman who gives all of herself (physically, literally, spiritually, emotionally, horrifically) to a man because she loves him, because it is expected, because she thinks he will view it as love, and it is never enough. He never stops taking from her, not even when there are literal mobs in their home tearing the physical house apart, stealing their belongings. At one point an actual war spills into their house and she barely escapes with the life of herself and the child she is about to give birth to. When she begs her husband to send these people away, he refuses because they stroke his ego. 

I don’t think the chaos of the previous 10 minutes of the film before she asks this question nor her struggle through them were literal but rather a representation of how it feels to be in her position, where she’s tried everything to be enough for this man for as long as she has been with him, rebuilt his house by hand, made it a home, served all his guests and fans without complaint, and even carried his child. She finally started believing with her pregnancy that she was going to win him over and be with just him, that this would be the key to finally meeting that standard of enough, but that was never who he was ever going to be for her, even as a father. And when she realizes, at 8 months pregnant, that his true love is still himself, his writing, and his fans, despite his child growing in her womb, she felt her world slip. The insanity of the the wars, the executions, the mobs in the house weren’t real but that’s how it felt. Her world was crumbling and she’d never regain any control again. 

In the end he even invites his fans to hold their baby and the baby ends up dying. It’s horrific and disgusting, and what does he say to her? He tells her that it can be something beautiful and encourages her to forgive, that there is nothing more beautiful than forgiveness, so they must. As if she doesn’t have rights to feeling ugliness in the face of losing her child. I felt suffocated myself by this immediately invalidation of even the most understandable and vulnerable of feelings. 

There are other moments like this throughout the movie where Jennifer Lawrence’s character is trying to speak up and voice her needs but it’s like shouting into a pillow as she asks politely and reasonably. No one listens or seems to care, especially not her husband. He seems to only placate her lovingly when he can tell she needs to feel he’s heard her, but he never really does or cares to try to actually listen to her. This last time, when she is weeping about her son being murdered by the people he allowed into their house, is the last straw and she calls the people around her what they are: MURDERERS. And because she finally yells and screams at them, they beat the everloving shit out of her and call her names like whore and bitch and cunt, etc etc. 

So she makes her way down to the furnace and burns the fucker down. GIRL YES BURN THAT BITCH TO THE GROUND.

And yet after the explosion that incinerates it all, guess who is intact and who is charred to the bone. Javier Barden, completely complete, carries Jennifer Lawrence, a burned, scaley version of herself, through the rubble of the house. She can’t understand how he is able to do this when she and everything she built is destroyed. 

She asks, “What are you?” He replies, “I am life.” She asks, ”What am I?” He replies, “You are home.”

You don’t have to be sexualized to still be objectified and if this isn’t exactly the damaging dynamic in so many male/female relationships, I don’t know what is. He is what life is and she is where he gets to live. Does she have her own life, her own plans, her own goals, her own space? It doesn’t matter, she exists to house him. 

She asks, “Where are you taking me?”He replies, “To the beginning.”

He lays her on the charred bed and tells her there is one more thing he needs from her. She says she has nothing left to give. He says that isn’t true, he wants her love. She relents. “Take it.” He digs physically into her abdomen and pulls something bloody and charred out. Jennifer Lawrence’s character turns to ash and the mess in Javier Bardem’s character’s hands turns into a gem. He marvels at how beautiful a thing it is, the only thing left of his lover. He doesn’t grieve that she is nothing but a pile of ash now, he sets the gem up where the old one once sat and the opening scene repeats with a new girl waking in their bed, signifying that this is what this man does to women and what he will continue to do. He doesn’t learn his lesson or change because he doesn’t value the women he is with enough to see their pain as destruction. Instead, he only sees it for how it can benefit him.

She is ash. He is whole. A parasite going from woman to woman. 

To me, one of the scariest elements of this movie is that Javier Bardem’s character himself isn’t really that scary, he’s not a horror. He’s even sweet sometimes, albeit neglectful af. What’s smart and unfortunately really relatbale about this is it makes him seem like (if not a good guy at least) an okay guy. He’s not evil. She doesn’t befall this horrible fate because he is malicious. It’s a Nice Guy who just wants to Create something Beautiful. But in the process he fucking destroys and sucks the entire life out of the woman he is supposed to love with no remorse at all. There are so many fucking men out there who do this very thing to every woman they are with, emotionally and mentally. Sometimes physically, too, but that’s easier to pinpoint. The horror of Javier Bardem in Mother! is that he could be and really kind of is many of the men we will come in contact with. 

(Bro I know I’ve fallen in love with and had this done to me by one ALREADY)

My thoughts on how this movie has been received:

What blows my MIND is that large groups of people DO NOT GET this movie and I think it’s because it is largely and almost exclusively a fundamental female experience. There are whole hot takes and think pieces trying to figure out HMMM WHAT IS THIS MOVIE ABOUT???? when like…to me, it was obvious and direct in my opinion. I’m not trying to be a bitch about it, like I’m smarter than everyone. I understand that I get it because it’s for me, it’s about a female perspective, but to say it’s about nothing is ASININE. Which many of them are saying. 

If you don’t like the way this movie told its story, that’s fine and fair. We all have different tastes. But if you don’t get the message and therefore want to criticize what it’s trying to say because you think it was pointless, maybe THINK AGAIN. It didn’t fail because you PERSONALLY don’t get it. It maybe just means that there are other experiences in this world and you’re lucky enough to have never had to understand what this movie is saying, the feelings it evokes in many viewers, or the horrors it represents for them. And most likely never will.  If the movie is just not for you I GET THAT bc damn it was rough, IT WAS HARD, it was awful. But it wasn’t about nothing. If you didn’t see the point, be thankful.

There were some think pieces analyzing it and coming to the conclusion that it was about global warming and the Catholic church, which there was definitely some imagery for but that for SURE was not the POINT. If you thought Mother! was just about taking on the Catholic Church while identifying the other ‘weird’ stuff in it as just ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ you MAY be ignoring the literal title character of the movie & her entire emotional journey throughout the whole thing. 

Which, SHOCKER, is like… the point of the entire movie. 

Good job I GUESS. But you still missed point by proving it. 

I mean, I get it, make it about whatever resonates with you, but it is undeniably about a fundamentally female experience. No wonder it’s being overlooked. "Gee what could this movie entitled ‘Mother!’ be about? Should we look at the mother character in the movie?? OR HOW ABOUT we just dive into the symbolism surrounding the woman instead while ignoring her completely.“ 👍🏻

To me it seemed any side-symbolism in that movie was to promote the dynamic of her giving all she was & him feeding off of it. Including any messianic imagery. As a smart, smart friend of mine said, “Men will of course deify themselves all the time.” That’s EXACTLY what the religious imagery was about, about Javier Bardem’s character living out his desire to be a god to his fans for his own ego, so deep that he let them devour his own child. It was about the church but it was only in service TO EMPHASIZE HOW HE CONSUMES HER AND WHAT SHE HAS GIVEN. Like… LORD help me. (No pun intended.)

I cannot believe a horror film about a female experience is so baffling for people to understand when we’re half the people out there. “WHAT IS IT ABOUT?????” It’s about what she’s showing you it’s about. PAY ATTENTION!! 

But how poetic (ew gross) that many people who don’t get it write it off. It’s the same reason so often women are not believed and their experiences are questioned. No wonder women feel LIKE NO ONE LISTENS.

It’s like there are people looking directly at this movie screen and seeing a blank black box for 75% of it. And here I am screaming into a pillow.

This is not to say that Mother! doesn’t take on many things, it does. There is a lot to unpack and it would be unfair of me to say there is only one way to read it. Of course there isn’t, and many parts are going to resonate with different people for different reasons. With that being said, though, to anyone trying to make the point of this movie about anything other than the experience of the female lead character, remember the gemstone and the burning woman at the beginning of the film, and then at the end. It is bookended this way for a reason. This is about the pattern of a man and how it affects the women he chooses to be with. This is about a woman who loves a selfish man who unapologetically lives selfishly and what it does to her to be in his life. 

It’s metaphors, it’s symbolism, obviously it’s hyperbolic, but it’s still REAL👏🏻AS👏🏻FUCK👏🏻.

#feminism #mother! #darren aronofsky #mother! film #mother! 2017 #javier bardem #jennifer lawrence #Anonymous #mother spoilers #woa notes

[nyrator]

Random Ny updates on Ny things

lots of photos, cosplay progress, ffxiv stuffs, life feelings and rotten nyan bleh feelings of insecurity

bought myself a new friend on a whim while shopping with friends about two weeks ago

the costume so far

still need to add fur to the bottom, but apparently I still remember how to sew by hand- need to figure out the best way to attach it, though. The collar I put on like a dress shirt kind of collar, but I don’t think I can do that for the bottom part (other than just sewing the fur backside to the shirt frontside, which almost seems too easy to be right- the cuffs I put front-to-front and folded over afterwards, giving them that flat edge on top, but not sure if I want that flat edge for the bottom...)

the tights, I made a mold of my leg out of duct tape (what a silly idea), but only had enough for one go around, so it was very flimsy after being removed. I decided the smarter method would be to fold the mold in half and cut the shape out of cardboard, which I did.

I don’t think I’ll have enough turquoise paint for the stripes, so I ordered more about a week or more ago... except it was undeliverable, because they sent it to Florida, and now they’re reshipping it, and estimated date was anywhere between the 23rd to Nov 5th, so yeahhhh. Last I checked, it got to the right place (PA), but then ended up in Delaware? so we shall see what happens

Haven’t even worked on the skates at all, which worries me, but the party is planned for Friday roughly (getting my friends together is always a thing). I notice distancing tends to be pretty lax around here, they deal with people on cash registers all day though so they’re used to being exposed and I don’t need to protect my mother anymore so hm (should get a blue mask and put some graffiti on it, though)

Tomorrow sounds like it’ll be friend-crunch-day, helping another friend with their costume and such as I try to fix mine. Haven’t worked on mine in a few days because dealing with blehs, but should get back to work on it (only a few days left...)

ALSO MY BOY IS REPAIRED

they sent that shoulder piece fast, like super fast- It was here by the 21st, mann- this is the piece they sent, arm and everything

First I thought, okay, just remove the jacket and put it on the other one- but then I realize, oh, wait, no that won’t work, it won’t stick, and this new jacket is glued on. I thought to super glue it on, but trying to remove it started to tear the peg, so I decided, okay yeah no leave it alone and figure out how to remove his torso

so I removed his torso, which took a bit of force, but now he’s back together and much looser but looking good, godd

also I turned 29 on the 11th, a pretty uneventful day all things considered. Friends came over the other day to deliver gifts (though one forgot his, twice, somehow), the other was a purple DDLC girl plush and pin because she’s purple (I should probably play that game to completion), the photo I have would dox me though and too lazy to get another photo at the moment

Otherwise playing a looot of FFXIV recently, beat the main story (first one at least), got the DLC and doing the Red Mage things (as a former fencer I am down though critical of my lalafell’s footwork), slowly trying to make glamours for every class, and the latest mission thing I’ve done was fighting Moogles to knock-off This Is Halloween, what a great fight (somehow managed to get like 8 unique moggle weapons and it makes me happy they exist), mainly a BLM/WHM/RDM/Weaver though Ninja was also fun (white mage is scary but Kresna is very good at doing crazy pulls when he’s the tank and I somehow help people survive by the skin of our teeth)

the crew (myself, Kresna aka Kure, my friends Spired aka Yomi, and James aka Sebastian, who only plays FFXIV in order to play mahjong with us), we all really enjoy mahjong now if you couldn’t tell (also Kresna’s character is great and now he’s making a Rivers Cuomo lalafell and we’re all going to be bards in a Weezer cover band, also shout outs to how cute Yomi is and the magnificent pompadour and sideburns Sebastian has)

But now to the less nice things

So, hmm. Still dealing with depression, a lot of it caused by interpersonal relationships, I suppose- My flaws and anxiety-induced communication issues make it really hard for people to feel like I care or am interested in them, I think. Seeing how I hurt people, and being powerless to help people on the verge of collapse or even suicide, it eats away at me. I can’t just leave them to their depression, and I want to stay connected and I genuinely value them in my life, but it’s taken such a toll on my own mental health and I absolutely cannot leave them alone, either- the type who can and would genuinely go through with taking their own life if left with absolutely nothing. I’m not sure what to do to help them or myself, but it’s hard just watching and being the only one who can listen.

Finally drew a Rotten Nyan picture today, but not that happy with. My feelings keep swaying between good and bad, and I think I’ll add more bad in a follow up doodle as well.

I worry I speak my mind too much- to other people, with these tumblr rants, with my tweets, I feel like I talk an unnecessary amount, mostly about myself, but never about what’s important to other people. I feel I make other people feel less appreciated by how little I talk to them or about them in comparison.

I feel like what I want to make makes me a creep, and that the people I consider friends, or at least close followers, would slowly vanish on me if I keep making it. Or I risk getting labelled as something, or being mocked for my creations. It’s a weird paranoia.

I’ve had some good talks with some friends this week that helped me feel more productive, watched some artist stream and forced myself to join another discord for that artist to try to interact with other artists, as well as trying to force myself to communicate and compliment their art as much as I reasonably can. It’s hard, very hard for me, but I need to treat people better and gain more connections.

But these things have been lightening my mood a bit, and trying to inspire me to draw more. But the uncertainty still lingers- Middle Lave for example, all I think of anymore is being mean to them, or remembering the bad or the humiliating instead of making more cute things. Any time I think of any scene, it just gets twisted. I can’t think of any good scenarios, either. Thinking of all the situations that make MLave cut themselves, or cry, or how frequently MLave had restroom issues (I could write pages and pages on that nonsense alone at the risk of it becoming some fetish work or something, I already feel like I’ve written too much about it), nonsense like that. Which, is it fine to just write about that anyway? I don’t know. I’m told there’s an audience for anything, and if people want to read it, they will, and if they don’t they don’t have to, but I’m still scared of pushing away an already existing audience- Followers are one thing, I don’t expect people to keep following something they don’t enjoy, but I guess just people I’m closer to, followers who take the time to interact with me frequently, I worry what they think of me and losing them (though I don’t want to be clingy or guilt-trip anyone either).

I also think of some of the word choice I’d use- it’d be accurate and authentic, but I worry with how people will take it (for example: Lave’s nickname growing up was “retard” or “r-tard” by their sister, and “faggot” by their father, and I know that kind of language is frowned upon even more so these days, but it’d be a disservice not to include it I’d think)

I have a separate twitter for Rotten Nyan though, I just haven’t used it, so maybe when I finally update the comic I can just keep all the twisted stuff locked away on it and the tumblr accounts.

There are lots of weird things I worry about, since on the topic- I feel like I’m just very naive. I see a lot of people enjoy “bullying” my character Dolly, and at times I wonder if I should encourage it, or speak against it, or what. I don’t know if it’s right or wrong, and it makes me wonder if I’m a creep for enjoying tormenting Lave, enjoying portraying self-harmful or humiliating or self-deprecating scenes and wanting to talk about them or draw them, it feels wrong. I think of Suicide Boy, where I feel it takes it a bit too overboard, but I wonder if I’m any better.

Other things I see, say, pacifiers for example, I see them a lot in my pinterest feeds and some artists I follow. First I worry they’re some kind of kink I don’t know about, and if I had them to my character it’ll sully my art somehow unexpectedly, but then I see Animal Crossing add them, so there must be some fashion trend or something to it, maybe? I probably wouldn’t actually draw art of one honestly, but it’s a weird trend I don’t understand I guess, and I wonder if I’m weird for thinking it looks cute sometimes and weird at others.

I guess overall, in short, I’m just afraid of making something that drives people away from me, or being known for something I don’t want to be known for, or something. At the same time, I feel like worrying about it and talking about it so much also makes me a creep, somehow.

Anyway, if you couldn’t tell I’m just rambling at this point, but I should change subjects.

I did lose 10 lbs / 4.5 kg since I officially started my diet two months ago, which is nice. I still am too embarrassed to say what my weight actually is (gained a little bit of weight during quarantine), but I’ve basically lost what I gained this year and am almost halfway to a healthy BMI. Afterwards, I see no reason to change my diet (other than maybe how little energy I feel eating less than 1500 calories a day), so I’ll see how far the diet takes me before it plateaus. If I can be a bodyweight to cosplay Kuja by the time I’m 30, that’ll be ideal (of course, I’d still need to put in effort to get rid of a belly and eat healthier foods, but yeah). Still surviving mainly on 100% whole wheat bread, skippy peanut butter, and kraft mac and cheese / spaghetti with meatless sauce, but in measured portions at least with three meals a day.

Also, mann, between depression and FFXIV, I’ve really been neglecting ACNH- still try to play it every day, but usually only late at night when everything’s closed, so missing out on a lot of Halloween stuff I feel.

#text stuffs #nyrants #ny does cosplay stuffs #nyrator plays games and stuff #camera stuffs

[cathygeha]

REVIEW

The Other You by J.S. Monroe

 Female Lead:

* Bad accident, talent lost, knight in shining armor appears from the mist to make it all better AND he has a huge bank account…

* Old beau proved untrustworthy so why not try out the guy who has money to make it all better?

* And...I can read people...yes I can...well...I could before the accident (she decides)

* Then something happens and she begins to question…is the knight who she thinks he is…or someone else entirely?

 * Tempting isn’t it?

 Thoughts while reading:

* sick psycho...whoever it proves to be

* a woman in love should be wary

* the man in love with the female lead nearly lost it all

* Friends should be treasured

* True friends will do a LOT to make sure their friends are safe

* a father should give more to family and home even though business is busy

* are there doppelgangers? And if so...do I have one?

* checked out a worldwide doppleganger match site and thought of seeing who they would find that looks like me BUT then…thought - “no way” - though I was curious

* The twist at the end…hmm…

 Definitely a psychological thriller. Even having read the last page out of order was surprised by the “reveal”…great job and I would definitely read more by this author!

 Thank you to NetGalley and Head of Zeus for the ARC – This is my honest review.

 5 Stars

About the book

 Kate used to be good at recognising people. So good, she worked for the police, identifying criminals in crowds of thousands. But six months ago, a devastating car accident led to a brain injury. Now the woman who never forgot a face can barely recognise herself in the mirror.

At least she has Rob. Young, rich, handsome and successful, Rob runs a tech company on the idyllic Cornish coast. Kate met him just after her accident, and he nursed her back to health. When she's with him, in his luxury modernist house, the nightmares of the accident fade, and she feels safe and loved.

Until, one day, she looks at Rob anew. And knows, with absolute certainty, that the man before her has been replaced by an impostor.

Is Rob who he says he is? Or is it all in Kate's damaged mind?

EXTRACT

She used to be good at faces. So good they paid her. If you were living a lie, she would see it in your eyes. She could spot an impostor at a hundred yards. And she only had to pass you once in the street to remember your face forever.

‘Kate?’ Rob calls up the stairs. ‘You coming?’

Kate glances at herself in the bedroom mirror. Rob is taking her to a new place today, a secret beach somewhere on the south coast. It’s a change from their normal Saturday. Usually they begin with a swim in the bay, followed by coffee at their favourite café overlooking the harbour. Double espresso for him, flat white for her. Rob likes his routine.

‘Just a sec,’ she says.

He’s by the front door, ready to go, but she knows it will take him a few more seconds to switch on all the alarms. The house is like Fort Knox. She leans in closer to the mirror in their bedroom, searching for a clue in her face, a telltale sign that the thirty-three-year-old woman smiling back at her is not quite as blissed up as she seems. Nothing. Her eyes are dancing, happiness radiating from every pore of her sun-kissed skin.

‘Kate?’ Rob calls out again, above a cacophony of beeping alarms.

‘Coming,’ she says, skipping down the stairs to join him in the vast hall. Stretch, the smooth-haired dachshund puppy he’s bought her, trots in from the kitchen.

‘See you later, little legs,’ she says, scooping Stretch up to kiss him goodbye. He normally comes everywhere with her, but in another break with routine, Rob has asked that this morning he stay behind. ‘Sure he won’t set off the alarms? He’s not very good at staying on his bed.’

‘The system’s smarter than that,’ Rob says. ‘Knows a naughty dog when it sees one.’

An hour later, they are walking arm in arm across a small beach that can only be reached by descending a treacherous cliff path. Behind it, granite rocks rise up like a giant stage curtain. The tide is turning, leaving a pool of deep, turquoise water trapped by a bar of rippled sand that bisects the mouth of the cove. On either flank, the steep rocks flatten out as they extend into the sea. They’ve got the beach to themselves and no one passed them on the coast path.

‘Why haven’t you brought me here before?’ she asks, stunned by the beautiful location.

‘I didn’t think you were strong enough – to climb down,’ he says, walking on ahead.

They’ve been together five months now and it’s true that she hasn’t been in a good place, recovering from a car accident that nearly killed her. But she’s feeling better by the day, physically and mentally.

Rob stops to pick up something from the tideline. It’s a small piece of glass, heart-shaped and smoothed by the ocean.

‘I think this may be yours,’ he says, watching as she takes it in her hands. His faint, Southern Irish lilt is more inflected when he talks quietly, almost musical.

Hearts don’t usually do it for Kate, but for some reason this piece of sea glass, with its rough-hewn beauty, melts hers. Maybe it’s because Rob’s not a natural romantic, still learning.

  About the Author

 J.S. Monroe read English at Cambridge, worked as a foreign correspondent in Delhi, and was Weekend editor of the Daily Telegraph in London before becoming a full-time writer. Monroe is the author of six novels, including the international bestseller, Find Me.

  Buy links:

 Amazon: https://amzn.to/2B5lxA9

iBooks: https://apple.co/3286CkM

Kobo: https://bit.ly/35nDd8h

GooglePlay: https://bit.ly/2OAI0x7

  Follow J.S. Monroe:

 Twitter: @JSThrillers

Facebook: @JSMonroeFindMe

   Follow Head of Zeus:

 Twitter: @HoZ_Books

Facebook: @headofzeus

Instagram: @headofzeus

Website: www.headofzeus.com

#J.S. Monroe #Head of Zeus #NetGalley #Psychological Thriller #Fiction

[nnmarudkar]

Richest Municipal Corporation, Poorest Maintenance

Mumbai’s Municipal Corporation infamous for its roads, manholes and maintenance have been highly active on Twitter for quite some time now. It decides to give you some voice. The citizens have given extraordinary response to its handle and pin pointed the silliest to intensely important matters and they have had very positive tweets back from the civic body that says ‘Thank you for bringing it to our notice’ and ‘your complaint has been attended’ with some pictures attached. 

@mybmc is the twitter handle for your assistance and help if you find any bad road.

But... the job done in order of its attendance is such a marvel that people will keep the tweet, its replies and the civic body itself in the memories. Why do they need to be told about a bad road? I agree remote lanes are not always accessed but what about the big highways and connecting main roads? Show off some richness. Why is the city broken in wards, so that each ward can take care of itself. Well, they must be busy with some other priorities. Who knows.

Meanwhile, here’s how my complaint was attended:

Well, I have a lot to say on this but with constraints as I may fall into a manhole soon after they curse me for this written piece. I love India! Before criticizing, some good words for the initiative. Thanks to whoever initiated to use twitter and the efforts being taken is commendable. This idea is now started for all the services in the city right from the railways to roads. I must say that the complaint reaches the authorities on time and the men are on the job. No doubt! They tag the right people who need to know. There is a nice amalgamation of technology as well as their work. This advancement by the corporation is a big move and appreciable achievement. But what a horrid job by those who are really expected to do so. Literally filling of the potholes. Who does that? Just like when you make a roti and it tears from 1 end and you fill in with some more dough! You look at these filled holes and imagine how, if I could fill the emptiness in my life like this. Wish it was so easy.

The next week rains took away all their efforts. What a tragedy you see! But we have that foresight where we know this is going to happen.

Context: Every governmental body and department who wants to show their effort shows it by digging the roads, displaying a big yellow board with their name and the nature of work. Hydraulic Department of BMC I guess had not reached its target and was furiously penetrating in all the possible corners of Mumbai. They were all over the place and in the city. Now the amount of digging that happens is like a hobby of erupting the tar and stones until they reach the earth’s crust to have a scientific invention. Or the thirst to find water or hunger for some treasure. Men are entirely standing inside that dug road with a vest and their pants folded. And then they come out of it wet and sweating, they forget about that destruction they all caused collectively. The team disappears overnight. The next day is a new day with old waste, debris, stones and dust coming out. It is like a new dawn for those stones that were suppressed below the roads and have come up suddenly. Boom!!! May be they want to speak something and they say it “the road is not leveled, but thank you for giving us back the amount of debris you removed out.” Municipal Corporation don’t like debts. Hello! But can somebody find those who caused devastation behind? They just forgot the chronology they used before to make that stretch called ROAD. The upper most layer goes down and lower comes up and the upper surface is mixed with both. You know what I mean.

Just before the rains they feel that urge to dig all the possible roads. What motivates them? Peehaps, the time chosen is exactly when people are waiting for the monsoon to arrive after suffering immense heat. Naturally to show that they are in the service of the people comes this twitter handle. Now the game here is the way these potholes are filled. It is a complete patch work with extremely low quality material with wrong techniques. You know it is not going to stick to the surface at all. The moment I walked out I saw some black patches all over the road outside my building. It was like the road had sunburns. Basically they leveled the height of potholes.

Process: A tempo with men not even the uniformed officials came in, used the shovel to pour out the black sand mixed with small stones and bit of a tar. Like you see in the pictures above, they just keep on filling. There is no flattening or leveling involved. The job is like ‘your tweet only said the roads have potholes. Did you mention that you also need a road roller to flatten the road?’ Why can’t they have engineers or experts to do this? 

That amazing gift called paver blocks is like antique worthy. Like a child has that block/building game. Even those colourful blocks stay strong. There is an empty space between each block that is fixed on roads. Empty enough for a distributary to pass. Mumbai has traveled from a tar road to cement road to paver blocks and now cement blocks. Put plastic if you want. But there is something called as holding together or binding that sticks to each other and doesn’t fall apart. Even a homemaker will tell you that for anything to stay strong needs a binding agent. Like an aloo (potato) in a cutlet. These blocks are so loose that hawkers and roadside dwellers lift these and use to support that plastic they use as a shelter from rain and sun. They are smarter than you and know the utilization of the materials to the fullest.

When Mumbai sees the massive Ganpati Visarjan it is like another festival and the same BMC builds a huge air conditioned chamber on the Girgaum Chowpatty itself for the VIPs and foriegn tourists. Where do you get so much money from? And if you have so many funds why not use it for the right job? Buy some cement and tar and make a road. In fact this is the same civic body who fines a Lalbaug pandal for making holes on the roads. Really? Because you know that they have big money and enough hype to flash in the news and daily? Why hold that tall chamber for VIPs? What purpose does that solve? There are tall platforms built by political parties all over Mumbai for announcements and slogans with their party posters while hoardings of brands on each light pole, signal poles, bus stops, buildings or wherever possible during this or any ceremony? How can BMC allow these posters and hoardings business? How can anybody be even ethically allowed by BMC to raise a platform anywhere on the roads and footpaths. How can the permissions be granted if they have due permissions? If you build a control room that is serving the day’s purpose it’s acceptable. But this is sheer rubbish habit city is getting used to. And these posters does not happen in any other countries. Have you ever seen a bus stop on the footpath and the people walking on roads? Mumbai does it. It is another level of encroachments and encouragement of undisciplined settlement.

The entire Mumbai is in a way owned by Municipal Corporation and the lands are the only place where humans can settle. The amount of flocking and migration happening in this city, it is already losing the civic manners. If this condition worsens the city will one day cave in and be a museum of open manholes and potholed roads. And then... who is going to complain about this and to whom?

#potholes #Mumbai #mumbai roads #mumbai trains

[barrydeutsch]

Cartoon: 36 Annoying Anti-Feminists

ETA: At least on my computer, the image on Tumblr is hard to read. There’s a larger, clearer image here.

Please support these cartoons on Patreon.

You may remember an earlier version of this cartoon, which had only 32 anti-feminists.

When this cartoon was first published, I got a lot of criticism. Some of it was the expected mindless anger (I hope you die, you’re just trying to get laid, etc etc) from the less intelligent anti-feminists. Some comments from the smarter anti-feminists were helpful (for instance, if a lot of people misread the same panel in the same way, that’s a panel I can clarify).

But the comments that really made me want to revise the cartoon came from feminists who reminded me of some anti-feminists I missed. (Indeed, on reading this, one of my housemate’s first comment was “where’s the bitter divorced guy?”) I had a little free time during my New York City trip, so I decided to add in four of the anti-feminists I missed last time. And while I was doing that, I thought I’d revise some of the old panels.  For instance, in the first version of Mr. Buzzword, I somehow forgot to include the word “snowflake,” an omission that has bothered me ever since. :-)

(In one case – “the comparison shopper” – I completely redrew the art. The original drawing for that showed an angry character. Anger seemed like the wrong emotion entirely, so I drew a different character who was more snotty than angry. The original, angry character drawing got moved to the “kicker” panel below the bottom of the strip.)

If you want to just skip to the new ones, they are panels 31-35 – that is, the fifth-to-last to the second-to-last panels.

Transcript of cartoon is below the cut.

Transcript of cartoon: Title At Top of Cartoon: 36 Annoying Anti-Feminists you will meet on the internet

Panel 1 (A wide-eyed man wearing a plaid shirt waves his hands above his head to make it clear he’s talking about a BIG deal.) Panel Title: The Molehill Grower Man: A feminist on twitter got her punctuation wrong… Clearly the whole movement has no legitimacy!

Panel 2 (A scholarly looking man with reading glasses, a sweater vest and a pleasant demeanor raises one hand in a “just explaining things” manner.) Panel Title: The Economist Man: Sexism can’t exist, because the free market is perfect! So if employers pay women less, women must be worth less!

Panel 3 (A quivering man with huge eyes and a very intense expression holds up a diagram showing a midsection; three arrows on the diagram point to a tiny dot within the midsection.) Panel Title: The Fetusphile Man: This is a zygote! It matters infinitely more than its oven does!

Panel 4 (A scruffy-looking man with a grumpy expression stands in a spotlight, speaking into a handheld microphone.) Panel Title: The Comedian Man: Feminists only criticize my “edgy” rape jokes because they have no sense of humor!

Panel 5 (A suit-wearing man with carefully styled hair and a devout expression holds a bible to his heart. In he backgrund, a woman clutches her hands together in an “oh please” expression.) Panel Title: God Told Him So Man: Feminism tells women to leave their husbands, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians! Woman: Where do I sign?

Panel 6 (A man with glasses and a sad expression, cartoon sweat droplet flying from his face, is looking at book with the title “Yearbook” and yelling with an anguished expression.) Panel Title: Not Yet Over High School Man: Why wouldn’t the hot girls date me? WHHYYY?

Panel 7 (A young, fit-looking guy wearing a sweatshirt shrugs with bewilderment.) Panel Title:  The Douchebro Man: Find out if she wants sex before I f**k her? How would that even work?

Panel 8 (A man with a long white beard, sunglasses, and a short buzzcut, stand with his arms crossed.) Panel Title: The Scholar Man: After extensive pursual of Wikipedia, I fail to see any difference between feminists and Nazis!

Panel 9 (A slightly smug-looking young woman in a striped shirt stands smiling, holding up a sign that says “I’m not a feminist because I don’t hate men!”) Panel Title: The Good Girl

Panel 10 (A young man with long hair in a ponytail and a short chin-only beard addresses the viewer cheerfully while holding a pen and notepad.) Panel Title: The Rationalist Man: My objective logic proves white men objectively deserve everything we have because we’re so super objective!

Panel 11 (A young woman stands, holding a beer and looking a bit annoyed, as a young man holds up a finger to indicate “wait” while reading a book with the title “How To Pick Up Girls.”) Panel Title: The Pick-Up Artist Man: It says to “neg” you now.

Panel 12 (A man sits at a computer, waving his fists, cartoon sweat droplets flying, apparently overcome with fury.) Panel Title: The Gamergater Man: How dare feminists say some gamers are sexist? @#%*ing whores!

Panel 13 (A 30ish man with a small beard and his nose stuck high in the air is speaking, arms folded.) Panel Title: The Comparison Shopper Man: U.S. Women should be embarassed to whine about “sexism” when Saudi Arabia is so much worse! Arrow-shaped caption pointing to man: Deeply distressed by anti-male bias in “Harry Potter.”

Panel 14 (A middle-aged man wearing a bathrobe and sunglasses grins while holding a glass of wine.) Panel Title: Creepy Man: When you think about it, it’s natural that teen girls are attracted to middle-aged men. Wanna see my hot tub?

Panel 15 (A young man spreads his hands wide, in an “oh come on!” sort of gesture.) Panel Title: Won’t Get Fooled Again Man: If females aren’t liars, then why do they wear makeup? Huh? Why? Explain!

Panel 16 (A man with stubble and spikey hair, and weird wide eyes, a huge scowling mouth, and fist held balled up at shoulder height, is yelling. He trembles with rage.) Panel Title: Mr Buzzword Man: PC militant misandrist cultural Marxist gynocentric authoritarian cuck snowflack SJW gender troglodytes!

Panel 17 (A 30ish man with short black hair speaks angrily towards the viewer. In the background, a cheerful young woman stands, arms akimbo.) Panel Title: Going His Own Way Man: This 20 year old doesn’t want to sleep with me so I’m giving up women forever! Woman: Promises, promises…

Panel 18 (A young man stands with his back mostly to the viewer, trembling with suppressed emotion. We can see a bit of his face; he has a distressed expression, and is trembling.) Panel Title: The Open Wound Man: Hearing people defend feminism is so painful it might kill me! …I demand that you defend feminism!

Panel 19 (A young man, wearing a tank top with a “male symbol” circle and arrow on it, points straight at the viewer and has an accusing expression.) Panel Title: He’s Rubber, You’re Glue Man: Feminazis are the real misogynists!

Panel 20 (A nicely-dressed woman with cats eye glasses and a fashionable haircut holds up a finger to make a point.) Panel Title: The That’s Not Real Rape Lady Woman: But if she didn’t say “no” a fifth time, then…

Panel 21 (A man with messy hair yells hugely into the air.) Panel Title: Back Away Slowly Man: Females have conspired to lower men’s sperm counts!

Panel 22 (A man with a very intense expression and a t-shirt that says “Red Pill” speaks to the viewer.) Panel Title: Back Away Quickly Man: Women control the sexual market so I am forced to “go alpha” and “take control” in a way that just barely falls short of rape!

Panel 23 (A smiling man with a dark suit and slicked-back hair speaks, looking relaxed and confident.) Panel Title: The SpokesMAN Man: As a man, I know all real men hate feminism! Because that’s how manly men roll!

Panel 24 (We see a door with wooden planks nailed across it to lock it closed. Next to the door a sign has been taped to the wall, which says “keep OUT!” There is a slot in the door; a voice comes out from the slot.) Panel Title: Wee Bit Paranoid Voice: THEY’RE COMING FOR OUR PORN!

Panel 25 (A cheerful young man with curly hair sits in front of a laptop computer.) Panel Title: The Amazing Twitterman! Man: I will prove this feminist wrong by tweeting an anonymous rape threat!

Panel 26 (A balding man, looking honestly bewildered, holds out a hand in explanation.) Panel Title: It’s Science! Man: How can feminists deny that women evolved to love dusting? Clearly they’re anti-science!

Panel 27 (A man, very close up, screams in the viewers face, wide mouth and sweat droplets flying.) Panel Title: The Swiss Army Knife Of Hate Man: Feminazis! And race pimps! And moose limbs! And Jews! And…

Panel 28 (A woman, smiling, stands in an enormous pile of money. From off-panel, a hand shoots out, holding  papers out to her.) Panel Title: The Anti-Feminist Feminist Woman: Speaking as a feminist, feminism is evil! Oh, look, another book contract.

Panel 29 (A young man is talking at a woman in the foreground, waving his hands around his head.) Panel Title: The Subject Changer Man: And speaking of whatever it is you’re talking about, male circumcision is worse than Hitler!

Panel 30 (An older, professorial man, holding a pipe, looks down his nose at the viewer.) Panel Title: The Traditionalist Man: Women hold jobs now? I despair for the ruin of our once-great society…

Panel 31 (A muscular man speaks, smiling and relaxed and perhaps a bit smug.) Panel Title: The Anti-Male Anti-Feminist Man: Men can’t be expected to refrain when women wear short skirts… because all men are beasts!

Panel 32 (A sock puppet of a young woman with a striped hoodie is being held up, the arm of the person holding it coming up from below the bottom of the panel.) Panel Title: The Sock Puppet Puppet: Brad is right! Feminazis do hate men! So says I, a total stranger who just happened to come across this discussion.

Panel 33 (A well-dressed man with glasses speaks, eyebrows knitted with anger.) Panel Title: The “Divorce Opened My Eyes” Guy Man: The government forces me to pay child support. Now I see that men are slaves.

Panel 34 A somewhat hippie-looking guy – long hair in a ponytail, plaid shirt – is speaking, a smile on his face, but with condescending body language. Panel Title: The Marxist Man: I strongly support feminism! (Until it distracts from actually important  issues like class.)

Panel 35 (A person with ambiguous gender speaks very intensely, one finger pointing into the air to make a point.) Panel Title: The Free Speech Purist Person: Accusing others of sexism is trying to shut them up which is censorship! Which is why you should shut up.

Panel 36 (An intense man, reading off an incredibly long list he holds up in one hand, glares at another man in the foreground.) Panel Title: The Cartoon Critic INTENSE MAN: It’s a list of 406 ways your vomit-worthy travesty of a “cartoon” is dishonest, deceitful and full of lies!

Kicker panel below bottom of strip. (And older, very angry man in a striped shirt shakes his fist in the air as he speaks.) Man: He only made this cartoon because he’s hoping it’ll get him laid! Pathetic cuck loser!

#political cartoons #social jutice #feminism #anti-feminists #parody #political cartoon