#foreshadowing everyone?? Because I thing THE FUCK YES

[plutolovesyou]

how soon is now? | part one

READ THIS FIRST 🇵🇸

teasers: one. two. series masterlist. next part here!!

♡: hallway crush!ellie x uni student!reader

☆: listen, i know this timeline is kind of ridiculous, but i’ve organized it all best as i can! this is the expanded story based on those first little blurbs introducing the au (reads fine on its own though), and this part specifically was originally going to be one huge fic, but i've ultimately decided to split it up and drop the first part now, because i feel like it ends in a convenient enough space where i can make a separation not so jarring. so that means this will have a direct continuation (how soon is now? 2 ? lol this is so stupid-), and that will be posted soon enough once i finish it! but yes that means after so much waiting, it's finally here for y’all. i literally thought up this silly idea right before i passed out on new years, and never expected y’all to love it so much…but i keep my promises, so here. also love the smiths and felt the title sort of fit. i feel like not too much happens but eh anyway, thank you for waiting, thank you for reading, and please enjoy!

♧:4.6k word count

◇:suggestive but not explicit - horny descriptions and tension, however no smut (for now?….BUT DON'T HOLD ME TO THAT.) no descriptions of reader’s physical appearance, no use of “y/n”, slow-burn construction and loooooads of pining, a lot of build up but stay with me, attempts at occasional foreshadowing, smau elements(text messages lmao), savage starlight is a plot point lol, hallwaycrush!ellie is sort of a mix of loser/modern/university au/dorky-ish ellie I DON'T EVEN KNOW. abby is your bestie, girl what else do i put here- this is just kinda plot, plot, and more plot progression about the whole ordeal, and me indulging my obsession with modern!ellie. (lmk if there's anything to be added!)

“Abbyyyyyyyyyy.” 

You rolled around your lifelong best friend’s bed, babbling her ear off while she studied away at her desk, or tried to at least. This situation has been a daily occurrence for weeks at this point.

Laying on your stomach facing away from her, you could hear her scoff in annoyance. “What?” “Please give me some advice..I don't know what I'm even supposed to do. She's driving me up the wall." This crush was the sole thing occupying your poor mind, so naturally, you had to drown your bestie with your troubles as well. That's what friends do. Abby spun around on her chair to face you, with a clearly fed up expression on her face, and leaning forward, resting her elbows on her knees. 

“Well I don’t fucking know man, I’ve already given you my best advice, and that's either introduce yourself, or suffer.” She said coolly. You sat up and groaned. Wasn't there an easier way? One that didn't involve actually taking initiative and doing something? Maybe, hypothetically, you ace a test, and the professor announces it in front of everyone as he emotionally congratulates his star student, and she bounds over, beaming. Then tearfully confesses her love and admiration for you- hold on, where the fuck is this going?

“Oh come on, you know I can’t do that..” You gulped a burning bundle of anxiety down as you replayed the scenarios with your obsession for the thousandth time that day, the mere crumbs you were forced to fixate on until you saw her next, the first sighting that started this whole fiasco,  and shook your head to clear it and listen to what your best friend had to say. She sighed and rubbed her eyes, slamming her textbook shut and making her way over to sit next to you.

“Listen babe, I love you, but you really gotta get ahold of yourself, alright?” She spoke sternly, looking you straight in the eyes to make sure you understood and absorbed every last word she said. “Listen, here's what you're gonna do. when you pass her in the hall, smile, it's simple but it's a classic, okay? And then you listen to the lecturer as normal, right? I have no idea what you nerds do in astrophysics, but that's besides my point. Make sure to pay attention and not stare only at her like a stalker or something, I cannot stress enough how normal you gotta be. But here's where it gets good, you still with me?” 

You're listening to her for sure, and nod vigorously. Crystal clear. She continues, “Okay you said you sit as far as possible from her? Sheesh, why'd you do that? When the class is over I want you to go over to her, and introduce yourself. Catch her on her way out, tap her on the shoulder if you're feeling bold. Ask for some of her contact details, play it cool. Just don't shit yourself, got it? All you gotta do." 

Abby finishes her speech, smirking and looking smug. She's positive she got through to you this time. On the surface you're totally chill, confident even, ready to snatch this ethereal being for yourself, however underneath all that you knew you didn't have an ounce of the courage that was required for this seemingly impossible task. 

Breathing deeply to calm yourself and try to take in her helpful words as best as possible, you give Abby a hug. “Thank you Abs, really. I'll do my best. Oh, but what if I freak out and start stuttering- or what if I trip and fall on her…I can't do this what the hell.” Swarmed with worry, you start doubting yourself yet again. Burying your face in your palms, you feel two strong hands on either side of your upper arms and you look back at Abby, who's really not playing around anymore. 

She was so serious about this it almost scared you. Either she cared about you more than anything, or she wanted to hear the end of these pathetic, lovestruck rambles. You prayed it was the former. 

“Suck it up. You can do this. You've had crushes before haven't you? This should be a piece of cake c’mon, I believe in you. Make sure to keep me updated every step of the way! I need to hear every last detail.” She lightens up at the end and releases you from her grip once she sees you've relaxed. 

Unsurprisingly, your best friend always knew what to say to snap you out of your spirals. Maybe most would disagree with her methods, say she was being rough, but they worked for you. Heart rate returning to a normal pace, you reply genuinely. 

“Okay, okay I got this. Yeah, it'll be fine.” She was getting through to you, this time you felt sure of it. “Good, good. Now will you let me finish this stupid assignment? Then we can watch something or do whatever." Abby chatted as she got up and sat back at her desk, resuming her studious endeavor as she left you with your thoughts. 

Immediately you heard her mutter, “All this and you don't even know her goddamn name…good grief.” For the sake of preserving the peace you chose to graciously ignore that one. She said she wanted some quiet, didn't she? 

Drifting away into a sea of daydreams, your thoughts inevitably returned to being clouded by this cryptic figure. It was like she'd cast a love spell on you. Did she even know who you were? Or did she shoot everyone those insufferably charming looks of hers. Was she even aware of how fucking cool she was? 

Dressed in that deliciously grungy style, you yearned to know what floated behind her greener-than-grass eyes. Her hair looked so smooth and soft, the wispy auburnette strands framing her refined features, intriguing fern tattoo decorating her lean forearm…. You felt your cheeks begin to heat up as a portrait of her materialized in your mind's eye. Nestling into the comfortable atmosphere of your best friend's room, you sunk deeper into your thoughts.

Like Abby had mentioned, it certainly wasn't as if you've never had crushes before, you've certainly had your fair share of them, like most people. But that was a sort of flaky, surface level interest, whether it be for their looks, their little quirks, or ways they treated you. Maybe it has been a while since you'd had a proper crush, but you couldn't recall a time when the infatuation, the pure limerence, had hit you this hard before. You almost felt helpless, just besotted by her.

You simply needed to act on this. Right then and there you steeled yourself, and decided you were going to follow Abby's advice after all, and go after this hallway crush. Worst comes to worst, she turns you down, you get over it eventually, bla bla end of story. It wasn't going to be too complicated, right?

You and Abby had stayed up all night, dusk till dawn, gossiping about things other than your hallway crush, shocking, and you were greatly regretting that decision the very moment it was time to gather your books and get to class.

You really did not feel like stunning everyone around you with a gorgeous outfit today, you were just trying to make it through the day in one piece to be honest with yourself. 

With a pounding headache you threw on some mismatched sweats, and ran out the door to be on time. Your bag felt unreasonably heavy as you made your way down your apartment stairs, and you cursed your past self for choosing a building without an elevator. Sure, exercise is healthy, but it can’t be when you’re feeling like a zombie, and wish for nothing more than a good, long nap.

Luckily the lecture hall was a comfortable distance away from your place, not far enough to make it a pain, but enough so you could get a much needed breath of fresh air. The tiredness had pushed all plans of action you and Abby had discussed the previous night to the back of your head, and you weren't thinking of your crush at all. At least for now. 

Walking slowly with your gaze pointed downward, you eventually made it to the hall. Completely dazed and zoned out, you made a mental note to never pull an all nighter again, gross, who’s idea was that- thump. 

Out of nowhere you're rudely jolted from your silent sulking by colliding with something, or someone? It takes a moment to register what happened, and you quickly look up from staring at the ground to sort the situation out. “Oh my gosh I am so sorry..” 

Profusely apologizing while simultaneously being smacked across the face with the realization of who this was. Her. Your words trail off as you’re suddenly winded, and you feel your blood run cold. You’re transfixed by the intense eye contact, and it feels like time has stopped. Goodness, this is dramatic. 

In the time it takes for you to briefly die and come back to life, the young woman has lowered her chunky headphones so they rest around her neck, Morissey’s vocals faintly floating out of them, and is looking at your stunned state with an indiscernible sneer playing on her face. Was this actually happening? Holy shit you and Abby did not discuss this scenario…you weren’t looking where you were going and had collided with an actual Earth angel. Great.

Still gawking at her like an absolute buffoon, akin to a deer in headlights, she breaks the tension first, with a smooth voice that you would obey virtually any command for. 

“Nah, you’re good.” And a wink. Your heart skipped a beat, or four, when you witnessed her wink at you. Did you imagine it? Was she being suave on purpose or did she have an eyelash in her eye…Was your life a literal rom-com or what? 

“Um..” Your mouth opens and closes in an attempt to form a coherent sentence, but your brain is much too fried to do so because, well, you had just made physical contact with the literal girl of your dreams. And gods did she smell good…while you’re unable to tear your eyes away from hers, she keeps talking as if nothing happened.

“I think the prof had an emergency or fuckin’, I dunno.” She stops to gesture around the two of you at the crowd that had formed in front of the auditorium’s double doors with elegant, ring adorned fingers..holy fuck you needed those inside you right fucking now- WHAT. 

Briskly shoving those thoughts down to the deepest depths of your subconscious back to where they belong, you turned your attention back to her, and put on a brave front. Hyper aware of how searing hot your face felt, her pretty self didn't show a hint of caring that you were making a fool of yourself. They say that any situation is always worse in your head than it was in actuality, well you hoped so. 

“So, what are we supposed to do now?” Clearing your throat you managed a sentence back, hooray. You were doing this. Good job. Although, of course, before the gorgeous nymph before you had a chance to respond with her own assumptions, a substitute lecturer you had never seen before pushes his way through the crowd and unlocks the door while people file in, separating you from her. You felt like Rose, viciously torn away from Jack from Titanic, what a cruel, cruel world this was.

And once again you didn't get to ask her name. Re-slinging her bag with one arm, she looks back at you one final time and throws you a “cya around.” Before disappearing into the auditorium with everyone else. You meekly nod at her and force a lopsided smile, before leaning against the wall to steady yourself after that fiasco in the now empty hallway.

Wasting virtually not a moment of time, you pulled your phone out and began furiously texting Abby with a recount of the events at a speed faster than the speed of light. 

Once that excruciatingly torturous class was over, you applauded yourself for containing the stares in her direction and keeping your eyes fixated on the professor. Whether you actually retained any information, now that was a different story. Picking up your bags and laptop, you stay behind for a moment as everyone else files out, no need to crowd and suffocate amongst the other students, and you had nowhere to be except catch up on your favorite shows and relax all by yourself. 

Filing out the auditorium with everyone else, you see a familiar face pass by you, and vaguely hear Abby’s voice in your head urging you to seize the moment. Now’s your chance, go! And so you gather every little bit of strength you possess to do just that. 

After a couple deep breaths you jog up to her. “Uh, hey.” She turns around and gives you a warm smile, making your legs instantly turn to jelly. You subtly checked her out and took in her outfit, another bulky jacket and lightly distressed jeans. Fingers studded with layered silver rings, and those big ole headphones seemed to be magnetically attached to her, she always had them on her. Note to self: ask for some music recommendations.

She was even hotter up close…with a beautiful galaxy of freckles scattered across her fair skin, you wanted to place a kiss on every single of them. “I, um, never caught your name.” “It's Ellie.” She sticks out her hand for a handshake and you accepted it, you finally had a name to the face you've been pining over so intensely for so long. Abby was going to lose it once you tell her about this. You steady your voice and hide the glee that was likely evident from this interaction going so smoothly, and introduce yourself to her as well.

After some time of idle chit chat and standing there, neither one of you knowing really what to say, Ellie pipes up, facepalming, tsking, and furrowing her brows. “Oh yeah, I don’t mean to spring this on you outta nowhere, but would you wanna study sometime?” She flushes a dusty pink, “I don't know anyone else taking this course and am having kind of a hard time with it...when I chose it, I expected it to be more about space and the planets, and less about numbers and math, my head hurts.”

Her demeanor was making you feel rather comfortable with her, even though the two of you had just formally met a few minutes prior. “I would love to, yeah!” Maybe you were being a little too enthusiastic, but at this point you were operating on pure instinct and not thinking critically of what was coming out of your mouth. “I actually don't have any plans now, or today at all, so if you want to, we can get a head start before the next class?” Well that just slipped out. Go you, blurting things out. 

You had no idea why you'd said that because your place was an absolute mess, clothes strewn everywhere, trash can still full, you'd been too preoccupied with your studies, and well her, to do much about it. To your horror, Ellie exclaims, “Hey, that's perfect! I don't have anything to do right now either, and it would be good to act on it while it's still fresh in my mind, y’know?” Her face morphs into an adorable toothy grin as she taps on her skull comically, you were becoming more obsessed by the second, if that was even possible.

Every little sliver of her personality you got to see under the stoic one you had assumed she had just grasped at your heartstrings. You smiled back at her so hard you almost pulled a muscle in your cheeks, “Awesome! Follow me, then, my dorm isn't far.”

The walk there was mostly fine as the two of you made it to your place, Ellie occasionally making comments about how she hates the class even though she adores outer space and learning about it on her own time, and you were nodding and acting as if you're listening, agreeing with her robotically while she rambled away and you daydreamed about what her lush lips would feel like on yours. You wondered if she was gentle with it, or if she’d kiss you hungrily, devour you like her very last meal….gulp.

Leading her to your place was an automatic task, not much navigation needed, and when the journey was done you had to legitimately stop short for a moment in an attempt to soothe the pounding in your chest. 

The crush that has plagued your mind for ages, who you've just met formally today, was about to be in your room. The two of you were about to be alone. That was totally fine, yeah, she can't be a murderer…..right?

“You good?” She asked sweetly, why did she have to be so nice, “Those stairs were killer, I totally get it, phew.” “Oh for sure, gets me every time.” Covering up your panic smoothly, you unlocked the door and went inside with her. When she walked inside, Ellie took a glance around your room and set herself down at the edge of your bed, immediately making herself comfortable, while you still lingered in the doorway, awkwardly swaying and staring at her, unsure of what to do with yourself. 

Suddenly you had completely forgotten why she was here in the first place. “No way, you read Savage Starlight too???” She spotted the figurine on your desk and snatched it up in her hands to inspect it thoroughly, with a childlike wonder in her eyes. “Wow, this one was a limited edition and it sold out in like an hour, I'm so jealous you got this!! How much you want for it, I'm serious.” She was so excited, and you couldn't believe it. Savage Starlight has always been one of your favorite comics ever, you've loved it since you were a young teen, and now this seemingly perfect human before you, who you're hopelessly obsessed with says she loves it too? Could she get any more flawless, is all you could wonder.

Her happiness because of this little thing you two bonded over was infectious, and some of your nerves slowly began to go away.  Grinning genuinely, you sheepishly said, “I've never met anyone else who likes it, that story has helped me through lots of phases in my life, and Daniela was my gay awakening.” Ellie gaped at you for a beat, making you almost doubt revealing that information.

“No. Fuckin’. Way. Mine too! Her suit was just- damn. And those action scenes in the third volume had my thirteen year old self’s brain just mush for, I don't even know for how long. This is crazy, I can already see we’re gonna get along so well.”

You wanted to talk to her about everything and anything forever, and her glee made you want to squish her, but there was unfortunately work to be done first. “There’s so much we have to discuss, but we gotta get some studying done first if we wanna make it out of this course alive.”

You were sitting at your desk, hunched over the sprawled out textbooks and messy notes, as you drew the graphs and talked to her about the concepts she was struggling with. Your desk was so small and you only had one chair, and you were the one using it, so Ellie was forced to hover over you to see all you were doing.

Focusing solely on the subject before you was proving to be more difficult as studying time went by, because you were a little too aware of the way she had caged you in against the desk to watch, her oversized shirt grazing your upper back. You gripped your pen ever so tightly to minimize any trembling, and kept a steady voice as best you could while explaining it all.

She was so, so close, the tension in the tiny room was palpable, she didn't seem to notice your nervous tremors or the proximity she’d created, and the low murmurs of, “ohhh, mhm, yeah,” as you embarrassingly stammered over your explanations made you flushed and to be frank, needy. You could feel her warmth radiating off of her, could faintly hear her breathing just above you. You didn't dare move a muscle. Was she feeling this too?

At this point you swore the delicious gravelly vibrations from her voice this close to you would be plenty enough to make you cream your pants. The air in the enclosed space was getting hotter and thicker by every passing moment, it took everything you had to keep yourself from losing your mind right now. If you moved back a petty few inches, you’d be pressed flush with her front. What would that be like, you wondered. Oh, no. Your throat felt drier than the desert when you swallowed, the thought of that making you weak.

Since your focus on the work was lapsing, you were beginning to make some little mistakes and blunders, compelling her to take the pen right from your hand and fix them herself. “No, no, this one’s supposed to be like this instead, see? Then you're able to get the right answer which is…” She stretches over you further, you nearly whined, someone save you, and grabs the textbook to review the solution. “Like this, yeah, I was right. Honest mistake though, don’t worry about it.”

You nod your head and make a pathetic murmur of approval, ignoring the fiery tingles spreading all the way up your arm when her hand bumps yours to return the writing utensil, and the blistering coil of want forming in your stomach. This all had to be deliberate, right? She couldn't lack that much spatial awareness, could she? Well, it wasn’t that you minded, she could get as close as she damn wanted to, you'd let her throw you around like a ragdoll even- you were just afraid your heart was going to give out if she kept it up. “Could you show me this work you guys did? Of course the one day I'm late, the prof talks about something new and I miss it.” 

What feels like an eternity later, you hear her groan above you and she returns to her earlier spot on your bed. You can finally breathe properly. Glancing at the clock, your own headache begins to set in. Crap it was late, how time flies. 

“We’ve been studying for so long, it’s getting late.” “Shit, you’re right, I’ve definitely overstayed my welcome. Sorry about that, and hey, thanks for this. I understand it all a lot better now, see you tomorrow.”

She stands up abruptly and ushers herself out of your door in a flash, to which you clumsily stand up, knock your chair over, and hastily run after her, not wanting her to go just yet. “Wait, Ellie!” “What's up, did I forget something?”

She pats her pockets and looks at you with concern. Round puppy dog eyes, and lips in a miniscule pout, so cute. You were in front of her now, but did not process what you actually wanted to say. Just ran after her like the smitten nincompoop you are. Upon feeling your face go hot, you look at the ground to mutter, “Uh- nothing. See you later.” Realistically, what were you planning on saying, or doing?

After stumbling over your words you two finally part ways and you slump down against your door, missing her presence already. You simultaneously wanted to jump around or open your bedside table drawer to release the energy you'd accumulated, and wanted to fall into the deepest sleep of your life to recuperate from the experience. This was just, a lot. You wanted to scream and screech like there's no tomorrow, but did not want to deal with noise complaints from the others living on your floor. Gosh she was so close, she shares your niche interest, your hands touched, albeit accidentally, lo and behold you were in love with her.

Maybe it was early to call it that, but you were going to plan out your future together. Preferably a quaint, peaceful farmhouse, the one you two lovebirds renovated together exactly how you envisioned, where you could ogle her doing the farmwork. Ugh. Cook all her favorite meals, make sweet, sweet love under the moonlight. Take strolls through the flower gardens you two planted, receive her curated bouquets as gifts, you two are going to have such a tender, domestic life. 

You had to mull it over some more, and didn’t dare wish to forget how close she was to you, you were still buzzing from her essence. You were pointlessly pacing around your room now, unable to stop looping the study session's events in your head. The simplicity, the eroticism of the encounter. One-sided or not, you had yet to find out more about her, the impatience was going to take over. The day almost seemed too good to be true, but for now you had to force yourself to relax and think about something other than her. Time to browse Pinterest with striking kitchen ideas for your beautiful future. 

What were you going to say to her the next time you see her? You were eager to know how, or if at all, this new friendship was going to progress. Part of you was dying of impatience, but the rest of you wanted to take it all as slow as possible, savoring every little moment and making the most of it. 

You sighed, this was going to be a long, long, year.

lovely taggies: @amiorca @mostlyhornyandsad @lasting-lover @radioheadfan699 @sophie-thefrog8 @machetegirl109 @ellieschair @aouiaa @wavesgocrash @tangerinngi @elliesbitchvenus @dinaissoprettyoml @rxreaqia @camicocom1a @elliesexual @ellslvr @boobdrug @writing-on-a-bathroom-stall @bready101 @yourelliewillms

.......really hoping this doesn't flop because it isn't smutty, yall wanted more fics that are plot soooo

#pluto + their pen ☆ #hallway crush!ellie #ellie williams #ellie williams x reader #ellie x reader #ellie tlou #lesbian #the last of us 2 #ellie the last of us 2 #tlou #ellie the last of us #tlou ellie #ellie williams fanfiction #ellie williams fanfic #ellie williams smut #ellie williams headcanons #ellie williams x you #ellie williams tlou #ellie williams x y/n #ellie williams x female reader #ellie x fem reader #ellie x you #ellie x y/n #modern!ellie williams #modern!ellie #tlou fanfiction #tlou 2 x reader #tlou part 2 #tlou fic #tlou2

[then-be-a-warrior]

Can we NOT do this?

Can we NOT do this?

Let's not call people/theories stupid because you don't agree.

The person who wrote this confession doesn't know what happens next in the show (BECAUSE NONE OF US KNOW) so who are they to say what's stupid or wrong? MAN I wish this wasn't anonymous.

And another thing: THIS THEORY IS VALID.

Yes, in his right mind, Mk would never go against Mei and his found family. But as you can SEE, when he fought Azure, MK's sense of reason was gone. (He's the one who messed up his own plan. MK's plan was to trap Azure back in the scroll. But because he WASN'T IN THE RIGHT STATE OF MIND, he kept fighting Azure to the point where he used too much power and couldn't control it anymore). He wasn't JUST angry. He was having fun for the first half of the fight.

As for MK and Mei's relationship, there are tons of parallels between them and Wukong and Macaque. AND the fact Ink Mk said "Your friends will turn on you. Seeing you for the monster you will become." Foreshadowing, people.

TO SUMMARIZE:

Everyone should be allowed to theorize whatever the fuck they want. I was in the Steven Universe fandom and literally 75% of the fandom thought that the theory of Rose being Pink was idiotic. And guess what turned out to be true? Point is: shut the fuck up.

#lego monkie kid #monkie kid #lmk #mk #lego monkie kid mk #monkie kid mk #lmk mk #lmk sun wukong #sun wukong #monkie kid sun wukong #lego monkie kid sun wukong #mei #lmk mei #lego monkie kid mei #macaque #lmk macaque #lego monkie kid macaque #monkie kid macaque #lego monkie kid theory #jttw confessions #journey to the west confessions

[immediatebreakfast]

For this entry I have to say first that I know I can't rightly judge victorian standards of child raising since we in the 21st century aren't really better regarding it. Plus, since I am from a latinoamerican country a.k.a. Colombia, my perspective of family affection is very different from victorian english upper class people. Moreover, that cultural difference affects how I read, and analyse the text.

But the fact that Mrs. Westenra simply refused to let Lucy, her own fucking daughter, sleep with her out of "worry" makes my blood boil like no other.

"She seems not too well herself, and doubtless she fears to worry me."

How does this help anyone? How the fuck does this could help Lucy when Mrs. Westenra dies? Why is this woman who has a few months to live at best so hellbent in not spending a single caring moment with her daughter?

Yes, I know all of the doylist reasons for this plot point, I know the foreshadowing of Mrs. Westenra's character as a very upper class lady who raised Lucy perfectly, BUT STILL. The thing that gets me is that this woman is so close to death, and yet treats Lucy like this. I would think that even if Mrs. Westenra doesn't tell Lucy about her illness (a mistake on itself) she would at least try to spend time with her, because you know she is going to die.

It's a cultural thing from my part? Of course it is! Here in Colombia a parent will always offer you comfort, hell I am an adult and if I have my worries over something before sleeping, my mom will offer me to nap with her for a while until I feel better. It's basic affection, there may be some faults in this culture regarding some things, but you can bet that at least a mother will say to her distressed daughter to stay awake for a while.

Lucy already has to consider, conceptualize, and care for the happiness of everyone around her all the time. Her comfort always comes last, on top of balancing Mrs. Westenra and Arthur's perspective of her with a fine pen because Lucy can't let them see her actual face, instead of her perfectly crafted mask.

And Lucy doesn't even get the small comfort of her own mother being at her side before going to sleep. She is so afraid of sleeping alone that she was going to stay awake all night, but Lucy's tiredness won, and certain Count took advantage of this to keep drinking her.

Mrs. Westenra really denied one of the most basic comforts to her own daughter, and in turn Lucy will never tell her about the symptons, and both of them will trap eachother in a societal circle where neither of them will know what is happening out of worry.

#I'm finally off work! #What the fuck mrs Westenra hug your daughter! #If this sounds very emotion driven it's because it is I'm sorry #Maybe it's a cultural thing but I can't fucking believe that someone SO close to death is just ignoring HER ONLY DAUGHTER #dracula daily #dracula #lucy westenra #mrs westenra

[layton-heritage-posts]

i cant fucking believe wall is losing the poll. this is bullshit

Fr like I swear this is just one of those things where it's blatantly obvious that no one actually pays attention to the character arc that happened in the first few frames of eternal diva.

Like, the way that the wall was completely coaxed in darkness the first four frames? That was art. It told us, the viewer, that hint coints are everywhere if we just know where to look for them. Also, the way that the walls facial features don't move at all was really good foreshadowing for it's amazing character arc later in the movie when it has to choose which Don Paolo to shoot when he was fighting with his clone, and it shot them both!!! That was raw as hell and you all just ignored it because the "Flora kills a man" arc happened right after it. And yeah, obviously, that arc was amazing in every way, but it really bothers me how everyone says that the movie peaked there when there are so many other good moments. Like the moment Descole accidentally walked into his reflection because he changed so much after the burned strawberry incident that he couldn't recognize himself anymore? Poetic. That moment where Luke accidentally talked to the nefarious pikaratfish who described to him the secret to achieving Godhood? Superb. And of course, since this post was originally about my top Blorbo of all time, the wall, that moment at frame 13 where the light reaches it and we see Laytons shadow projected onto it????? Holy shit man when I told you, I almost cried. The symbolism of Layton bringing the light into the walls live is, admittedly, VERY heavy-handed. But the symbolism in the scene where Randall smokes a fat blunt was just as heavy-handed, and no one cared about it there. Anyway the way the light both reached the wall through Layton but also the way he blocks some of it off? Ough. My heart. And yeah, people will use this as justification to say, "See, without Layton, there would be no wall character arc. That proves he's the better character! WRONG, Layton is just a tool for telling the story of the wall. He's a part of it, yes, but the main focus is very much the wall itself. You just pay more attention to him because you ship him with Randall, and your fandompilled brain has already forgotten the ability to observe media beyond it's shipping aspects.

Let me make this clear now, btw, since I know I'm gonna have a bunch of annoying anti-wall people in my inbox later who are gonna be like:

"How can you enjoy the wall as a character??? Don't you know the wall is really problematic due to it's history In Germany from 1961 - 1989???"

To those people, a quick info. I'm literally german, so stop accusing me of "history-bending-wall-favoritism" or whatever you wanna call it. Liking the wall as a character is not harming anyone. It's literally fine.

#not a heritage post #ask #I'm gonna be honest gang after a while i just stopped thinking but not typing

[madlad-sadgal]

I got bored so here's a few things I noticed in Nimona that either made my day or made me cry or made me question everything I know. No in-between.

Also, yes, I know, almost everyone already pointed most of this out, but I just had to do it as well. It was destroying my brain. This is gonna be a long one too.

Nimona Spoilers!

The Director, not the Queen, being the one to give Ballister his sword for the first time, showing how much she truly worked to show Bal is the true villain, probably acting with him as she would any other knight all throughout his training and caring for him, making her betrayal that more hurtful for Bal.

Probably everyone expecting Ambrosius to be that classic "Noble asshole who's gonna make Bal's life hard just because he's a commoner" but instead not only is he kind, and goofy and himself around him but they're DATING!

At the beginning, they make out how most people aren't accepting of Bal being a knight, but in reality, we only see three people disagree with it, and the whole kingdom cheers for him when he's knighted (until his sword kills the queen that is)

Ambrosius slightly swinging his dangling feet when he's sitting with Bal. (Not that important but I just found that cute)

The first time we really see the clear difference between commoners, nobles and Gloreth's descendant is when they're putting on their armor. Nobles = Grey, white and gold. Gloreth's descendant = White and gold. Commoner = Black and grey.

Todd coming in, we haven't even heard of him at all so far, and yet we all hate him immediately because of how much of an asshole he is.

Also, Ambrosius' reactions and facial expressions when Todd is insulting Bal. Just, it's cute. Protective BF Ambrosius.

Bal knowing his sword doesn't feel right.

The Director telling Bal "Today the kingdom will see you for who you really are." Foreshadowing that they will see him as a queen-murdering villain and that she's the bitch who framed him.

"Wait, what do you mean? You think I'm her favorite?" Clearly not. She hates you. But that doesn't matter because we love you and your wet kitten eyes <3

The Director having the fucking audacity to look horrified. Also, the sword fired 2 shots. Does that mean she was hoping for someone else to get hurt/die?

Ambrosius looking fucking horrified, scared and confused as he looks down the hole the thingy made falling down as he watched his boyfriend(?) walk away, clearly in pain.

Nimona's "It ain't that kind of kingdom. And it ain't that kind of story." being a parallel to what Bal says at the end.

One of the first things we hear when Nimona approaches the thing talking about Bal is "Not since Gloreth's monster has anything been so hated." So Nimona basically learns that someone is hated as much as her.

Bal canonically being able to take care of an amputated arm and build a prosthetic, but also him canonically listening to Grrrl Like is just funny to me.

Imma stop there because this is literally just the first ten minutes. Might make another one though!

#nimona #ballister boldheart #ambrosius goldenloin #nimona movie #goldenheart #ballister x ambrosius #nimona netflix #nimona 2023 #nimona spoilers

[ptsdangeldust]

tw rape / abuse / suicidal ideation / self harm

can i just fucking say that the "poison" scene was just fucking flawless to me. as a survivor of rape and psychological abuse it was so fucking hard to watch and hit on every note i wanted it to. the suicidal ideation, the self destruction, the pain, the torment, the addiction, the hopelessness, everything.

[this got long LOL big analysis of ep4 basically]

also it's a little funny how easily i called it when the pilot came out that angel was gonna have ptsd and cope with it through hypersexuality . like this was obvious from the start to me and they do telegraph / foreshadow it from the first episode pretty well in my opinion. like ALMOST too much. but at the same time i'm kind of glad. like that's what i like about the show is that it *is* so raw and over the top when it talks about this kind of thing. that's why i like campy edgy uncomfortable shit bc where the fuck else am i gonna hear anyone specifically hit the perfect sweet spot of just exploitative-feeling enough to feel palpably uncomfortable in a way that just like. perfectly conveys this message. in my opinion, obviously.

it's like so crazy to me that i had this exact high expectation for the show and adjusted for edginess and got exactly what i wanted and then some. like. god. they hit every note in succession all at once and then tied it off with a beautiful, nuanced but genuinely well paced and well thought out resolution.

"loser, baby" was so fucking perfect as the counterpoint to "poison" in this episode. also charlie coming in and being purehearted but not knowing what she's doing and making it worse. but angel ultimately understanding that she meant to help and it's not her that's the problem obviously. and then husk is ultimately the one to give a shit about angel (with some encouragement, which like i honestly appreciate that he doesn't take angel's bullshit and isn't just the like Token Black Savior who has no character or agency of his own [of course i'm white so don't take me as the authority on this issue but i'm certainly aware of it]) and like not only try to stop him from self destructing but like relate his experience and make him admit he has a fucking problem. sooooo much of abuse is built on making the victim think they're at fault for what they're going through. the way val makes him look in the mirror and say "yes" outloud to himself over and over while literally holding his head and threatening him was such a good way of driving that home. and then we see angel have so much pride poked at so easily when he's called fake because he's SO aware he's putting on an act. he lets himself be exploited because he thinks it gives him a sense of control. can't be called fake if i'm an actor. can't prove i'm ever real. never have to BE real. never have to admit that anything is wrong and come to terms with it.

and so husk comes right the fuck out and says it. you're a loser. you're washed up. you're a has been. you're self destructive. you hurt everyone around you. ..... and you're not alone. THAT'S the important part. that's the real thing that gets you out of abuse. people. not being alone. like not just KNOWING that THEORETICALLY you're not alone but actually having people show up and help you and put in the work and relate to you and listen to you and let you listen to them. that's why abusers chronically work to isolate people. because it's so much easier to exploit someone who has absolutely no support system. who only answers to them. who has no one to turn to if shit goes sour.

ok also the fucking hypersexual self harm? i have NEVER seen that portrayed so accurately and so explicitly before. i feel like basically every single time i see it talked about at ALL in media it's either 1) portrayed as like sexy or ultimately good 2) strays totally the opposite direction and is talking more about cycle of abuse shit (which yes that's also important but not what i'm after) 3) really just hinted at / i have to like extrapolate it from vague hints or 4) exists in shitty media that is not ultimately trying to tell a story about escaping abuse it's just talking about a tragic waif and trying to make you feel sad. which is just another kind of exploitation really. so it was very refreshing to see it made very clear that angel was going around *trying* to get drugraped (which is NOOOOOT the same as consent. but i'm not going to get into that) because he was trying to hurt himself. he knew it wasn't good for him and he sought it out anyway. he could have wound up dead and he did not care. that's how low his self esteem is. that's how little he thinks of himself. that's how absolutely terminal his suicidal ideation is. i like used the word 'passive' at first but no i would not call that passive he is clearly actively suicidal hsuidguhds (ftr passive suicidal ideation is like. 'i wish i could go to sleep and not wake up.' but not actually acting on it. active is when you start purposely not looking both ways when you cross the street. that's basically what angel was doing)

anyway yeah. ep4 was kind of the peak for me i'm ngl HUIDGHIS obviously i'm very excited to see where things are going in general but especially more huskerdust........ i would like live if they didn't actually end up together but it feels clear to me that they genuinely care about each other and at least angel does seem to have... romantic-leaning feelings for him. would be cool if they had some scene where husk is like just cuz i care about you doesn't mean i'm going to be your magic saviour through love or whatever. bc i feel like it would be so easy for angel to immediately want and/or expect that. i did personally coming out of my abuse where i was absolutely desperate for real actual non-abusive love of any kind but i was NOT remotely healthy enough to truly accept it then even if it had actually been handed to me and i wound up in something that was..... better, yes, but ultimately still toxic and not completely ideal. not abusive, no, just not like. healthy. lol. but i do have good healthy happy love now so i'm glad lol <3 but like anyway this is a common thing with abuse survivors and it would *make sense* to see it but like i wouldn't put it past them to just go straight into "and then angel got better immediately and they got together and everyone lived happily ever after the end" HSDUIGSHUID but like idk man. we'll see LOL

also i did want to comment on like...... the fact that the scene was worked on by someone with a legit rape fetish who was like straight up into angel/val as a ship and thought it was like cool and fun or whatever. like. i really don't think the scene itself came off as glorifying rape or abuse. it's blatantly obvious that it's not good and the emphasis is placed entirely on angel's pain. and like it's. it's not porn. it's evocative. it's explicit. but the purpose of the scene is not "look at this hot sexy sex" it's "look at this horrifying abuse". like yes obviously there are gonna be people who get off on it but people can get off on anything if they try hard enough. porn is art explicitly meant for jacking off. not everything about sex is porn. i think if you interpret it as glorifying sex you're honestly out of your goddamn mind. the song ends with angel talking about how he wants to fucking die because of it. is that glorification to you?? really???

ultimately, *I* think it's good. i think, objectively, the team did an extremely good job. give them an award or something. i swear. where's the oscar. my boy angel needs his oscar LOL

... one last note, because this is tumblr: this is very triggering material. probably it should've had a better warning of some kind. but it is telegraphed/foreshadowed like i said and the show is rated 16+ on amazon (i feel like it should be 18+ imo but it's like. it's repeatedly listed as being for adults/"R rated" in promo material at least) and sex and violence are listed right there at the top of each episode where it shows the rating so like. idk man. that's as much warning as is usually given for this kind of thing ngl. i absolutely am not saying it's not triggering. but it is important to portray triggering things. it is important to talk about these things to give people in these situations someone to relate to and to give them the language to understand how to escape abuse, first of all, and like also art in general *should* be challenging. i think they genuinely said important, unique things and said them well. they did wayyyy better than i thought they would. for real. like esp coming from viv knowing her past like. clearly someone in the room actually knew what they were doing lmao (one of the writers for hazbin also worked on the episodes in helluva that covered similar abuse recovery material so. you know)

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel analysis #? ig #my post

[dekusleftsock]

Turning tragedy into hope-Let him lose those arms

I’ve tried making this post three times so let’s hope that third times the charm y’all.

I’m just gonna come out and say it but when I saw that panel where Izuku doesn’t have any hands I literally got so excited.

AND ITS NOT BECAUSE I LIKE MY FAVORITE CHARACTER GETTING BRUTALIZED (well? I do think it’s a little funny but shhh)

But it’s because this has been foreshadowed almost as much as the handhold itself between Izuku and Katsuki. And it’s wonderfully tragic in the best of ways. Literally half of the commentary surrounding it when it came out in the leaks was “omg I thought of that!” Because literally everyone and their mother KNEW this was coming in some form. Izuku was going to lose an arm, and that would be the case.

Hell, even outside of the story the amount of official art and AU’s Horikoshi drew that had Izuku without an arm is astounding. Like it’s so painfully obvious that this was coming, and so he upped the shock when he made Izuku lose them both.

Izuku is even doing his white eye thing, he isn’t shocked, he’s angry. My dude is pissed. Clearly, to me at least, the loss of his hands is less of a shock to him and more so that he’s angry that afo took away the reason he lost them in the first place—Tenko.

Y’all gotta remember who Izuku is, he’s the stubborn motherfucker that refused time and time again to give up on his dreams, he’s the one that illegally saved Iida and Katsuki, he’s the one that refused to let go of Tenko’s hands because when he was in his time of need, it comforted him.

Izuku has been told by his doctors for over a year atp that he was going to eventually either lose his hands, or lose the function within them. He’s accepted that. He can try to stop it, hold it off through equipment and treatment, but at the end of the day, everything breaks eventually. He knows that. We know that.

So if he was going to lose his arms in some way, it’d be through this: saving someone, holding their hands, never letting go, comforting them.

It’s tragic and sacrificial, but Aizawa’s the same. Did we make theories about how Eri is gonna heal him from being an amputee? Did the story say “actually due to this cool magical illusion/quirk it was all a mirage/eri could heal it”? No, it didn’t. Did Mirko somehow get her arms and legs back because they’re tied to how she views her strength? No, she didn’t.

And there’s a reason they didn’t. Multiple reasons they didn’t. They’re heroes, their scars tell their stories.

Not even mentioning how that’s such a trope (“everyone else keeps their long term injuries except for the main character because he’s special and gets main character powers, like not getting a disability from a dangerous job! :)”), but why should eri, a little girl, be responsible for everyone’s injuries? She doesn’t even have full control yet, she’s playing it by day. (People LOVE to talk about how all the 1-A kids are just kids fighting in a war, except when it comes to a little girl being responsible for everyone’s injuries, somehow)

The reason eri was shown wasn’t because she was going to somehow save the day, but because she wasn’t. It was supposed to stop those theories from having actual merit, because eri doesn’t actually have the built up strength to help.

So, with that out of the way, I wanted to say how this is so fucking beautiful. It’s tragic yes, Izuku and Katsuki never got to hold hands, not properly, but maybe the measure of their trust is beyond that. Maybe, an embrace could suffice—this would go back to Izuku’s vigilante arc. Where, instead of holding hands, Katsuki caught him when he needed to. And he’s going to do it, again and again.

Maybe holding a robot or silicone arm won’t feel the same, but it’s the feelings surrounding it that matters, not the act itself. The hand hold is still there, the hands still haunt the narrative like a mouse within the walls. It bites at cords like their own emotional walls.

Katsuki missed his chance, over and over again, and he’s going to have to come to terms with that. But that’s not to say that the story won’t let this aspect haunt the narrative like it always has. It’s still THERE, and I believe in Horikoshi to continue to write a story about hands while the main character doesn’t even have them.

Izuku’s hands are tied to his strength, physically and emotionally. He views them has the glue that ties his heroics to himself. His hands have always reached out to others, his hands have always punched those who were wrong, and even when he had to switch fighting styles he still saw them as the reason he was able to fight at all. They represent OFA, his love, his anger, his weakness, his strength. They represent his sense of self, and yet he’s more outraged than hurt that he lost them for Tenko to be free—only for AFO to take away that freedom all over again.

THATS why the loss had to happen. THIS. He lost something so incredibly valuable to himself, but he lost them of his own accord. He could have let go of Tenko at any moment, yet he didn’t because he wanted Tenko to know comfort and freedom. He wanted him to be free.

You could say that Tenko was telling Izuku to let go because he was breaking down his emotional resolve, and I believe you could also say that he was telling Izuku to let go so he doesn’t hurt someone who tried to help him all over again. You could say it’s both. It’s selfish and selfless, like everything in this story is. But Izuku refused to, and that was a choice Tenko could never take away from him.

So, that’s how I’ll turn this tragedy to hope, because this was done out of Izuku’s love, why take away that meaning?

Why put them back?

Why take away those scars?

Scars tell stories, they tell you how we became the greatest heroes.

#okay so I didn’t say it in this #and I actually implied that I think he’ll stay the way he is in the story #but I’m just gonna be honest y’all. this was mostly about what I wish will happen in the story. #because I know that there’s a giant chance that Horikoshi is just gonna give him his arms back #I can smell it in the air. sigh. #yk I love this man’s writing but I’m so done with his little fake outs #like dude. commit to a tragedy for once in your life my GOD. #bkdk #midoriya izuku #mha deku #bakudeku #bnha deku #bakugou katsuki #mha analysis #mha 419 #bnha 419 #shigaraki tomura #he gets ONE TAG #AND THATS IT #I still find his stupid ass annoying but I can see his appeal now #with love ofc <3333

[thespoonisvictory]

I Ramble About The Ending For A Long Time

ok hello i am insane yes yes 

however when else are you going to see me write c!crime meta

what’s important first off is that the emotional core of the story is still there. that’s the only reason why this works for me. this was a story about two bored brothers who make a story that turns into a nation together, and under that it’s about communication and loyalty and the strain mental illness places on a relationship and underneath even that it’s a story about two streamers in a pandemic who wanted content and to make each other laugh. 

that is never undermined or taken less than 100% seriously; it’s the emotional core of the whole thing. as wild as it gets and as bold choices are made, both wilburs love both tommys and vice versa. 

it’s a similar story with the line at the end: “I never did quite forgive myself” isn’t undermined, isn’t played for laughs. The argument c!crime have is incredibly well done and people will write actual analysis about that so you should go read it, but the gist of it is that c!crime are what they’ve always been: more than a bit unhealthy, perpetually arguing, but never quite willing to give up on each other.

with that being said, I felt like that was what I wanted out of the finale achieved. now to get into the wild parts.

the interesting part for me is how c!wilbur’s insane mindset is, for the first time, actually challenged and beat.

we’ve been saying for months that one of c!wilbur’s biggest issues is that his paranoia manifests in believing he is in a story, that there are roles like heroes and villains, that he has to play his part and there is nothing he can do about it. he’s his own self-fulfilling prophecy, he takes himself incredibly seriously, and most importantly, he is aware of the audience.

and nothing could break that. everyone around wilbur confirmed to his narrative, letting his vague statements that were clearly a narrative foreshadowing to suicide slip by. he’s getting swallowed up again by his own story, he is the one putting chekov’s gun on the wall, never quite saying something, but implying just enough that he was willing it into reality.

(he does the same thing in season 1, remember? he tells everyone he’s going to press the button enough times that by the end he feels like he has to because he’s foreshadowed it, because it’s who he is now. eret said it was never meant to be and thus it wasn’t. if you’re in an improv rp and you know it, speaking things is enough to make them real.)

and it almost works again! he almost follows the exact same trajectory of self-deprecation and sealing his fate. except. tommy’s not taking it this time.

tommy, having gone through everything he’s gone through, finally gets to win this. he looks the entire force of wilbur’s simultaneously self-aggrandizing and deprecating mindset dead in the eye and says tell me what you’re fucking talking about. 

he says the words! he looks at wilbur and says we’ve both been in this story before, I know what you’re doing, I know who you are and what this is and I’m not going to let it happen again. tell me, are you going to kill yourself? he enters into wilbur’s spiral and says this can’t be redemption if you still won’t be honest with me and you can’t leave without apologizing. 

he gets right to the core, no subtext, with all the blunt honesty he’s ever had, and c!wilbur, worn down from fighting and apologizing and the exhaustion of it all, finally gives in. he stops lying. 

his backstory was never cool. he was a gas station attendee, never any sort of leader before coming to the smp, and his jacket was just another uniform. he isn’t even european. he somehow sailed here from a landlocked state, because why not. this is Not the type of backstory for the type of person he’s trying to build himself up to be, this isn’t the fit for the genre at all! 

but insanely, impossibly, it’s true. it’s canon. just like the fish fucking and the fridge mom and everything else. it is ridiculous! and with that, it’s the realization that wilbur’s story has always been a serious character with serious feelings in ridiculous circumstance. his very real suicide was attempted via looney-tunes-esque sticks of dynamite in a pile, his ghost talks in a high-pitched voice and gives out blue dye. none of this undermines the seriousness of c!wilbur’s feelings, but it does undermine how he views himself as some great evil out of Game of Thrones. 

he died and got revived by a book! his depression fort was named pogtopia! he has always existed just under the threshold of ridiculousness by just how seriously he takes it all, how seriously everyone takes it. 

and c!tommy has always loved the person under the narrative he paints, and that’s why, at the end of it all, he can get through to him. tommy knows the story, he loves parts of it (l’manburg, the family, etc), but he doesn’t love this part, and for once, he gets to choose. he pushes and pushes and says you love me enough to not shy away from this, I am banking on you loving me enough not to push me away again, and he’s completely right! he breaks the cycle by being the same kid he’s always been.

and so wilbur’s end is ridiculous. it’s absurd, but it’s not him killing himself again. it’s not drenched in the belief that everything he made should be destroyed, but full of callbacks and nods to who he was. he never did quite forgive himself, but he’s not looking to the audience for forgiveness anymore, either. 

there are no more looks into the camera, and the book he gives for tommy is for his eyes alone, unlike every other speech like apology we’ve seen so far. he says things that the audience won’t reach. he invites us, one last time, to look upon his works and despair, to tell us that nothing remains. but he is still there, even if there is no story to watch. he is not part of a story anymore. the cameras are cut, and he survived. he is nothing more than himself. 

#wilbur soot #tommyinnit #dsmp meta #dsmp analysis #dear god I have so many thoughts about thi #I love taking things too seriously #suicide tw

[chaifootsteps]

College anon dropping in to say that the dubs aren't very good. Some, like the french one, sound like the text went through google translate (and the dubbing in general is terrible despite France having a good rep in the industry). The Italian version of Poison is low-key good tho

As for my reaction to Poison, imagine that gif of the happy yellow emoji looking traumatized/dead inside. I stared at the screen wondering what led me to watching this and how ANYONE would think this was a good scene. Vivziepop claiming that the leaks don't represent the full scene was right for once... It was so much worse. I could think of a more tasteful way to picture it in 5 seconds, it isn't that hard. She could have even kept most of the scene, just remove the graphic stuff to keep the suggestive dancing (a smart idea that should have remained subtle) and maybe keep the Val part à la Addict to show that, yeah, on top of "working" all night (because the graphic scenes made it obvious he stopped "enjoying" work early during the night), Val SA'd him and that shows the entirety of the hell he's going through. It explains why he breaks down and lashes out. Viv didn't need to keep most of the SA, the entire thing was implied.

Also episode 4 comes out of left field. Yes, it was foreshadowed since the beginning but why is Angel suddenly returning his calls? We SAW him ignore Val. He clearly HATES him. Since when is Husk calling him out and badgering him about being "fake"?? They've known each other for a WEEK. It's way too early for that. It's like we're missing 3-4 episodes of development in-between. Angel reconnecting with Val and showing hints that this is indeed a facade, Husk knowing a lot about everyone and giving a damn... This should be a mid-end of season arc for Angel. I'd personally make it end of season 1 so that he can show change during season 2, beginning as someone new, someone who slowly tries to show he cares and let down his bravado in small amounts, with clear hints of being a little scared of the reactions, until it naturally becomes his full-time persona. Maybe have Charlie notice at some point and subtly encourage him, DELIGHTED (in caps because that girl is extra) that Angel is getting better but having to keep her excitement in in fear of scaring him off (because Charlie should have SOME sort of emotional intelligence ffs).

Loser, Baby feels out of place. This is NOT the appropriate reaction to Angel's words. Did they rewrite the dialogue but not the song?? Here's how it sounds:

Angel: I feel like I've gotta be Val's perfect whore all the time so I'm trying to break myself enough he will be alone—

Husk: Well, it's okay to be a loser, baby! Look at me, I'm a failure too. You ain't special and it's okay!

....So Angel is a loser/failure/broken but Val is still into him??? Did they realize that this should send him the wrong message?! That Val will "love" him no matter what and that Angel cannot be free, that he's been making himself miserable for NOTHING?? First of all, Husk's greediness and addictions are NOTHING like Angel's situation. He signed with his real name. That alone implies that Val snatched him early on as he arrived. On top of that, he's being abused every way possible on the regular, for no fault of his own, and is self-destructing. He cannot kill himself and Val won't let him be killed. This is NOTHING like Husk losing a game for more power and being forced to be a bartender.

Here's how it should have gone for the song to work:

Angel: So?! The real me is a good for nothing loser who died in a ditch from some shitty coke! THIS is the famous, hotter than Hell pornstar that everyone wanna fuck! And I've— I've gotta be the part. 'Cause if I'm not... If I ain't then who am I?

Angel's fear should have been about being seen as who he was, as some loser that nobody loved. Let him feel like he beat his father, that now he's someone so suck it dad! You were wrong! Let Angel behave as if his life was a porn movie because that's all he knows now and what he thinks he should be like. Instead of trying to ruin himself so that Val discards him, have him try to be perfect... Because that'll stop the abuse, right? Val is happy when he acts like that. The perverts worship him. No one cares about Anthony.

That would make Loser, Baby work. It would achieve its goal of saying "it's okay to suck, we all do! Look at me, I'm a loser but my life isn't over!" and get Angel to accept that he's enough as he is. If you add in a few episodes beforehand to set it up, it could have worked better instead of being insensitive.

Personally I would have entirely changed the Angel/Val dynamic. Val can still be a whiny bitch but not in a drama queen way as is implied. He gets like that whenever he loses control of his favorite. Have one of the Vees groan and say something about Angel having done something as if it happened often. Make them used to Val throwing a fit because he didn't get what he wanted out of Angel or because he's having a jealousy fit. It already makes Val more controlling. It'll make the messages scene hit harder as, yeah, we can see why Angel left, the dude is unstable and obsessed. I'd be a little more fucked-up and have Angel kinda love him. Ofc in the Stockholm Syndrome way, he's been abused so much he's too attached to leave. That shift in dynamic would explain why he eventually goes back despite everything. Like in the show, he feels ignored in favor of the new resident and the way he's dismissed and talked about makes him feel like shit. He checks his phone again and ends up listening to Val's new voice messages... And this time, they're sickeningly sweet in a row. He's sorry, he's begging for him to come back. He loves him. And that's enough for Angel to go out or answer him. Put a few episodes in-between where Angel seems... Off? How weird, he's jumpy, more on his phone. He's out for parts of the episodes or clearly focused on something else. Then we get episode 4, where everyone culminates to show how bad the situation is for him. I'd personally not have Val hit him. He's smart enough to not leave bruises on his top whore. However, he's manipulative and threatening. There's no doubt that he COULD hit Angel whenever, especially with the way he cowers. Angel tries to diffuse the situation, so well that it's heartbreaking, and he gets bold. That line when he doesn't reply "Yes Val" is meant with silence as we wait for Val's reaction, waiting for him to blow up. A beat. He doesn't. He's not calm but he's not as angry. He's not going to hit him. He thanks Angel, touching him while the other flinches, a hint that he handles Angel roughly in this kind of situation, and just as Angel looks relieved, he announces that he'll have to work all night, distressing Angel again.

Ofc that would require extensive research and talk to specialists to do it well. Viv's audience can be stupid so it's more of a struggle to make it clear that none of this is Angel's fault and to not romantize this shit but it's more interesting than Val being so obviously abusive. IMHO he almost transformed into someone else in that episode and it could work but we didn't see enough of him to go "oh that's the old abuser trick! he's not as nice as he is with others when he's with his victim!". Idk how to put it sensibly but the impression he gave me was "whiny manchild who sadly was given enough power by Daddy Vox to abuse someone" instead of the intended "terrifying Overlord who is unstable and abusing his power to abuse whichever worker he fancies at the moment". I dunno Chai I just think it would work better if he were more manipulative and welding his power in other ways than by force. Like Angel isn't scared by his strength but by his influence. Also I would low-key find a way to make it so that Angel, mistakenly, thinks he can get away with some things to explain how he'd leave for the Hotel. Like having him not be a perfect victim. While he tries to cater to Val and keep him happy out of fear (and/or care because abuse fucks you up), he sometimes provokes him or tries to do his own thing. It'd show he's his own person and stuff. Sadly that would be lost on Viv's stans and it would absolutely spark some victim-shaming stuff or worse. But I think if she's gonna try to portray something like this, she could do with some nuance and not so... Cliché? Of course, it happens like this to too many people but it feels like she's applying a trope with no thought into it. The most cookie-cutter depiction she could do for quick satisfaction or to tick that case. A bit like how Stolitz is a mix of multiple tropes and is a terribly done version of that trope where a noble falls in love with someone whose class is lower with a sprinkle of badly done transactional relationship that sparks feelings. Thinking of HB, HH has better representation of abuse but not by much. I feel like if Stella was a man, she'd have written it this way? It felt like fetish fuel hiding underneath the surface whereas Stella was lazy writing.

I dunno man, I wanted to rant about Charlie and her design but episode 4 hit me like a wall of bricks

Thank you for all of this, College Anon. This was a great read, and you're right, the Italian version of Poison goes so much harder than the English.

Also Italian Val's voice is...yeah, 10/10 stars on that one. Mama mia.

#Anonymous #viv stuff #actual blog post #hazbin hotel critical #video reply

[gale-gentlepenguin]

What is your opinion on the comments from the writers about the season 5 finale and the finale itself?

So I should say that the only comments I’ve seen (from the translation ) and this ( post )

My opinion on the writers and their commentary regarding the finale.

I do understand why they did the things they did.

Limited resources and wanting to utilize what they had.

I totally agree with their use of Piano Lucky Charm.

I think the fight the physical fight with Monarch and Bug Noire is phenomenal.

I can tell a Lot of effort went into planning this season out.

And as a Writer I can respect the references, nods, foreshadowing and jokes that were put in.

Fang using Kung fu is a hilarious image and it’s my favorite shot outside of monarch having a piano dropped on him.

People can say they like the ending, and if they do, awesome. I’m glad that you can enjoy this ending that I don’t.

So let’s have that put at the forefront

That is everything positive I have to say regarding the commentary and I will be going into detail on my ‘Problems’ below. And yes I will be getting angry.

(You have been warned)

I absolutely LOATHE their explanation on how they justify their ending.

Everything about it makes them sound pretentious and arrogant. They sound like they think they are being so clever with an ending when the ending is actually a fucking punch to the face of ANYONE that cared about having a resolution to this arc.

If the writers were so keen on having us CARE for Gabriel’s little arc. Why not take that Kwami’s choice special and replace it with a two episode arc of Gabriel, Emilie and co getting the miraculous? They can’t say budget because they could use flashbacks or the re-enactment from Representation.

And my goodness, the mental gymnastics it takes to say “Gabriel put down his other rings which means he lost” NO IT DOESNT. He is making his wish, he won. Why the heck would he need them after?!

“His wish is vague, so we don’t know what he wished for.” I DONT CARE IF HE WISHED FOR FREE ICE CREAM FOR EVERYONE ON EARTH! HE WON BY EVERY METRIC! It’s unsatisfying, it’s gross, and it feels all kinds of wrong to the point that my soul as a writer feels personally insulted.

The arrogant pretentious Pricks don’t even realize they left Ladybug in the losing position once again! She’s going to have to suffer the consequences of the wish. Not the person who died VINDICATED.

In the words of Brooke from one piece

“Death is never an apology.”

But she got the miraculous back? Yea, AFTER the villain got what he wanted. Adrien never finds out about any of this, Marinette is left gaslighting and hiding things from him, just like usual but now MORE people are keeping things from him.

All of this writing just end up with a cool final battle scene and then take a metaphorical dump all over it because their peak in character development is outfit changes.

The ending isn’t unsatisfying because it’s meant to be. It’s unsatisfying because it made 5 seasons of watching ML pointless.

And I didn’t think I could hate the finale more than I do. BUT THE COMMENTARY somehow made it Worse!? I don’t know how the f*** they did it.

But knowing their intent and knowing this ending was always intended makes VOLTRON’s ending SEEM serviceable. And yes I know how bad that sounds and I FUCKING MEAN IT.

#Gale’s thoughts #miraculous ladybug #ml critical #ml criticism #ml writer criticism #Gale gets salty #ml writing salt #recreation salt #I think for the sake of my sanity that’s the last I’ll be talking about the finale

[suzukiblu]

holy fucking HELL I'm so glad you're writing something that addresses the knockout and rex thing. that was so Fucked up and he never got help for it I can't wait for a fic where he does omfg. it really did mess him up and set the base of his character and people either don't address it or address it very badly.

like i got into writing (65th fic currently time FLIES) because of a. this character and b. you and to see you writing something I've been wanting to for so long is. yes.

Oh, that's really nice to hear, I hope you're having a good time with writing! Well, sixty-five fics in you'd better be, or fandom is letting you DOWN, hah.

And ahhhhh, yeah, depending on the fic I do swing between "Kon def got abused and taken advantage of and everyone in canon acted like it was fine despite repeated evidence to the contrary, oh my god it was NOT FINE and still isn't!!" versus taking canon at face value on things like Clark "Responsible For Everyone In The World But This Specific Teenager" Kent not immediately PERSONALLY taking in the whole-ass MINOR someone made in HIS LITERAL IMAGE when he is also an adopted person with superpowers who is intimately aware of the effects of nuture on a person, but I do always find it really interesting to take on more, like, real-world approaches. Okay, sure, in COMICS it's fine if you let a month-old teenager become a teen heartthrob superhero with no secret identity or civilian life, okay, but also oh my god Tana Moon is TWENTY-THREE, Roxy is ALSO a teenager who knows like nothing, and Knockout is KNOCKOUT, and Dubbilex has barely been out of the lab himself and Rex Leech is explicitly an easily blackmail-able sleazeball with serious debts to seriously bad people and THIS KID IS FIVE MINUTES OUT OF THE CLONING TUBE JFC CLARK WHAT ARE YOU CANONICALLY THINKING HERE.

I could scream about Kon's entire existence 5ever but when GREEN ARROW is better at taking responsibility for his sidekicks, you are in a BAD place, ethically-speaking. AT LEAST GREEN ARROW FEELS EMOTIONAL CONNECTIONS BEYOND THE VAGUE AFFECTION YOU'D OFFER A STRANGER'S MODERATELY CUTE PUPPY TO HIS SIDEKICKS. AT LEAST GREEN ARROW DOES THAT.

Admittedly Clark just kinda sucks at taking responsibility for his fellow S-wearers in general, in my experience of him? Except when they need punched/lectured out of the heavily-foreshadowed emotional crisises that he could've just, like, NOT neglected them into with literally just a weekly phone call's worth of relationship maintenance, of course. Except for then.

. . . I may be biased here but seriously, Clark, please talk to Kon/Kara/Karen/literally anyone not Lois or your parents for more than five minutes a crossover event. The non-human people need you too, you FUCKING MORON!! Superpowers don't mean they don't ever NEED YOU!!!!

/screams into pillow about Clark Kent's personal self-image and feelings about his powers and how that all affects the way he treats other Supers and his opinions on them and just AHHHHHHHHHH--

#rintalk #anonymous #meta ecetera

[tyhxrondxle]

REREADING LADY MIDNIGHT BUT I would kill myself and everyone else in this world to keep Julian Blackthorn protected AND appreciated by those to whom he has given so much (yes Mark, I’m talking to you)

Part 3😘😊

i swear to god there are some scenes that I can’t remember ever reading. But hey, in one of those Emma realizes she wants Jules!! Go baby!!!

THE SCENE WHERE CRISTINA CUTS MARKS HAIR???/?2€2!2!2€:€ Okay, hear me out. When I read this book for the first time back in 2016 I had already spend over two years obsessing over Julian and Emma, and I must admit I did not give a shit about anyone else until I read Lord of shadows BUT NOW THAT IM OLDER AND WISER CRISTINA AND MARK IN THIS SCENE MADE ME GIGGLE LIKE A TEENAGER. "You would be lovely in the Court” Mark Blackthorn get a grip.

THE CAR/IRATZE/JULIAN DYING SCENE. i’ve spent years obsessing over this scene. it has played in replay in my mind so many times that by the time I reread it I was sure it had been a fever dream of mine. but no, here’s Julian Simp Blackthorn being the horniest for Emma while also fucking dying???:!2&2!/! He’s so in love I might actually die.

Cassie foreshadowing Livvy and Cameron’s relationship in Thule (it might not have been intentional but let’s pretend) *clears throat* and I quote: “In Emma’s defense, Cameron’s annoying, but he’s hot. I mean, if you like guys who look like a redheaded Captain America, which I…don’t? (Livvy speaking)

kieran and mark my beloveds. Cristina looking at Kieran while he was looking at Mark and thinking “Never had a faerie looked so human to Cristina as Kieran did then”. I screamed actually

okay looK!!! I have a thing about a very specific trope which fits exactly with Emma and Jules, being childhood best friends to lovers but the man is and has always been a total SIMP. well, i’m gonna quote Julian thinking about Emma’s hair and i’m gonna pretend i did not cry while reading it: “emma’s hair. maybe because she took it down so rarely, maybe because emma with her hair down was one of the first things he’d ever wanted to paint”

julian and his siblings relationship has always been something that made my heart physically ache. So Julian falling with Tavvy on the stairs and hitting himself to protect Tavvy but also immediately checking if HIS baby is okay. you can not fucking tell me he should not be loved for eternity by fucking everyone

the fact that Julian can’t be physically close to emma without mentally collapsing. i mean, the man was dancing with her and he was floating. the intimacy, the CONNECTION, THE TOUCHING *chef’s kiss*

also, last but not least. alexa play When Emma falls in love by taylor swift.

okay, i’m done, shutting up now, goodbye till tomorrow I hope (also, would love to know your opinions on the scenes I talk about and shit, I’d love to make friends that feel ass passionate about tda as I do🥺)

#the wicked powers #kit herondale #ty blackthorn #lord of shadows #kit #kitty #ty #ty kit #qoaad #the dark artifices #emma carstairs #julian blackthorn #blackstairs #lady midnight #tda #cristina rosales #kieran kingson #mark blackthorn

[carica-ficus]

"Harrow the Ninth"

21/02/2024

Reading progress: 507/507 (100%)

Read through since last update: 157

Didn't think I'd cram the last part into one post, but here we are anyway. These last 150ish pages were... All over the place. In a good way!

Final notes:

Oh, there she is!!! Talk about a monster under the bed.

Ok, but how casual is that scene? I know something like that was coming (I've seen some fanart, but knew too little to know who it was about, just that Harrow and Ianthe would be peeking under the bed), but it's just so normal. I like it. Kinda eerie because it's not presented as scary.

Of course Ianthe didn't see it. Don't worry Harrow, I believe you.

Yeah, ok. It makes sense that Ortus was just fulfilling other to kill Harrow. His reasoning for it just wasn't strong enough. "You're a liability." Just like everyone else.

Oho! Here we go! Epiparodos! (Whatever that means.)

NUNLET??? 🥺🥺 That's such a cute word.

Ok, the lobotomy. Right. Also saw a fanart spoiler for it, totally forgot it was coming. I thought it was gonna happen later on? In any case. Ok. Yup. This happened.

Harrow NOVA. There we go. The other Harrow finally revealed by her full name. Though I applaud Muir, I haven't even noticed we never got her last name. Gorgeous and genius writing, through and through.

HAHAHAHAHAHA love how Harrow did the typical "I am small. Therefore, I will be a quick and murderous machine" but Muir decided to break up the cliché by saying she discovered that at the ripe age of 5. Man, I love this book. And I love Harrow as a character.

"What's that, you egg?"

Dying. 😂

Ok, gotta say, chapter 40 lost me.

I think... I got it? I might need to read the remaining pages for all of this to settle down, but this is much less complicated that I thought it would be.

What is the meaning of love if not sacrificing every single memory of a person in order to save them? 😭

Of course, it was not a dream. That would be too easy. The bubbles make perfect sense.

I know I said Ortus was annoying when quoting the Noniad, but I really like him as a character. And by that I mean how Muir has given him more depth and allowed him to grow. Which also made the scene where he hugs Harrow so impactful. 🖤

Ok, the Ortus thing was unexpected. And I'm excited to learn what it's all about.

But first. The Sleeper.

UGH! I love how considerate Gideon is with Harrow's body. Sure, she's a little awkward in it and puts out a dirty joke or two, but she's just trying to be respectful and useful. Also the way she's so worried over any and all her injuries, even though she knows they'll all heal? So fucking cute.

Protesilaus took Dulcinea in his care when she fell ill. That's so cute. 🥺

Oh, hell yes! Gideon stepped the fuck up. Time for Ianthe to meet her fucking match.

(I love how protective Gideon is ggghhhgghggh)

Man, I missed Gideon so much.

MATTHIAS NONIUS!!!!!!! :O

(Such a cool scene!!!!!)

You know what? After everything that happened, my reaction to finding out Gideon is God's daughter was just "Ok. Cool."

Cue John's corny dad joke. Love it.

Also I wouldn't have guessed they were related based on their eyes. Sure, John's eyes were mentioned multiple times, but they're silver and Gideon's are gold, so I wouldn't have put two and two together just by that. But! It fits. It's foreshadowed. It works. So yeah. Sure. Love it.

I knew it! I knew that he had a cavalier! I knew that he was a Lyctor! Hell yeah!

So much stuff happens at the end. I just kept on reading, without spending much time on commentating. I needed to know what happens and tbh, I have no idea what I just read. But that's okay! It was fun!

Ok, all in all, the book was spectacular. I liked it even more than I did Gideon. I liked how Muir handled Harrow's grief. I liked the reveals, the mysteries, the tension and the stakes. I liked the characters and I liked how Abigail got a lot more page time. I didn't even care about her in the first book, but now I really like her. I liked Ortus too!

Now, I'm still confused... About a few things. Primarily Harrow Nona. So I'll have to read an explanation or teo about it (or you can comment on the post if you'd like to help me out). Did... Harrow Nonangesimus kept watch and narrated over what Nona was doing? As in, she was dissociating from her body after the lobotomy and experiencing everything from a distance? Or was that all Gideon? Because I feel like it wasn't. Gideon's narration style is totally different and clearly comes out at the very end, but idk. I feel like I'm missing something here or that I'm not grasping something ridiculously simple.

Anyway, I'll be reading a little more about it, but yeah. "Harrow" is done, so I'll have to get my hands on Nona! In the meantime I'll be writing out my review. 🖤

#harrow the ninth #harrowhark nonagesimus #tamsyn muir #the locked tomb #locked tomb #book #reading journal #dnevnik citanja #dnevnik čitanja

[butwhatifidothis]

1, 2, 3, 5, 6, 7 and 12 for rhea? :3

1. Why do you like or dislike this character?

I like Rhea because her story brings with it so many interesting things to think about, and the choices she's made throughout it are also thought-provoking. Yes, she's tried to do the best she could with the options given to her, yes she's tried to do everything in order to bring peace to Fodlan, but that doesn't make her choices any less morally ambiguous or debatable - something she acknowledges, and even wishes to make up for when she's felt she'd made bad choices!

Plus her being fairly shy about mingling with others due to her status making her feel as though she'd bum down the mood gives her a real sweet quality to her lol. Makes me wish even more she was allowed to talk to more characters.

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

That she put her identity out on blast in Shambhala in order to protect everyone. She also does this during the siege on Garreg Mach, but her initial transformation was away from everyone; in the second time she does is in front of everyone, but she cares about saving people more than her own safety at that moment. Considering how long she hid her Nabatean heritage from the world, it feels like a huge step forward for her, Nabateans, and Fodlan as a whole being able to put behind the horrific massacre of the Nabateans. She isn't deemed a monster by anyone, no one tries to kill her in her dragon form; they all just admire that she went so far to keep them safe! It's just a really good moment (that's uh, fucked by either her dying for sure on VW or her randomly going berserk on SS, but still!).

3. Least favorite canon thing about this character?

The above mentioned going berserk thing in SS is easilyyyyyyy my least favorite thing about Rhea's writing (because due to the nature of Rhea's character I don't really find myself outright disliking any aspect of her character). It's stupid, it comes out of nowhere, it makes no sense (even with FEH trying its damndest to throw out a reason), and it just kinda fucks with SS' pacing more than anything. She's only the final boss there because SS needed a unique boss and no other reason and it sucks major ass.

Even the suggestion of her going berserk on VW and Nemesis being the final boss of SS just kinda... moves the problem somewhere else, not actual fix what's wrong with it (the lack of foreshadowing that anything like this would happen, the fact that it doesn't happen on the other route where the exact same thing happens to Rhea but nothing happens to her there, the nonsensical nature of it, etc.). Definitely the weakest part of the writing of her character, imo.

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

Not the song question 😭😭😭 imma be straight up with you I do not think of any song for any character like almost ever sorry for the lame answer but I don't got shit for this question

6. What's something you have in common with this character?

We both love cats!!

7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

i like when they write her in character I like when fandom allows for Rhea to genuinely grow close to other characters, rare as it is to see happen. She has such an interesting viewpoint and has a lot of similarities to a lot of characters, so seeing that get expanded on and not just have her be The One True Bad Guy Of 3H For Totes For Realsies Pinky Promise is always nice lol

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

On AM/SS after the war she lets herself openly baby Flayn as her aunt instead of withholding outright doting due to her archbishop position + hiding their familial relation. She gives her gifts and teaches her constellations on her star chart and does up her hair and tells funny story about Seteth that make him look silly - she just gets to be family with her niece!!

#ask #ask meme #she's just neat your honor what can i say #she has sooooo much potential that so few people want to tap into and it's not fair cuz she's SUPER interesting

[shadyhoetree]

wow. you're so cool for writing for makoto

i need something with kusuke, he's also underrated. kusuke is the love of my life

idk if you're willing to write this or not,, i cant really make up any scenarios, so if you choose to reply writing for kusuke then i hope you're okay making up your own scenario? I NEED KUSUKE HRRFHRRGGHRF

you're underrated D:

Kusuke Saiki x male! reader

Minors & female aligned do not interact

Contains: NSFW, porn without plot, vibrating buttplug (reader recieving), public, humiliation-ish? (reader recieving) implied top! Kusuke, implied bottom! reader

Host Bonzai's note: I know I'm cool, thanks😌and yes, yes, I will come up with something for my boy Kusuke. HAHAHA EVERYONE NEEDS A BIT OF KUSUKE KDLFKFKFKF Awww<3 You really think soooooo? But damn, I could not come up with much to work with so I made this kind of a foreshadow-y thing. Haven't watched Saiki K in a while and well- help, I overastimated myself

Co-writer Ruka's note: Little tip on the side; you can still help by giving us other information besides a scenario. Starting with who's top, who's bottom or what uh kinks you want/don't want to be included. Makes it a bit easier to come up with stuff, yknow

What he wants

During (Y/N)'s time knowing and being with Kusuke, he started to notice little shifts in the way the blonde is acting. That way, it was easy for (Y/N) to figure out certain things; How Kusuke is feeling, if he slept properly, ...things like that.

But the most significant one to mention is how Kusuke's act shifts ever so slightly when he's up to something. Something that involves his dear, dear boyfriend.

His gazes would linger longer, as well as his touches, he'd be sweeter and do little things for (Y/N). You could say he was trying to butter him up to ensure the needed consent for whatever there was swirling in his head.

And whenever that happens, the (Y/HC)-haired knew something bad is going to happen. Bad for him, but entertaining for Kusuke.

Being able to see the signs rather quickly never seemed to give him even the slightest advantage, however. No matter how much he tried to stay stubborn, Kusuke always knew how to get a 'yes' out of him.

Which brings us to the nearby grocery store.

Kusuke's smile was ever so sweet as he held (Y/N)'s hand in his, and looking at the neatly written down grocery list in his other. Do I still have to tell you they weren't actually there to shop groceries?

The ever so slightly twitching of the male's fingers in his hold made Kusuke smile even wider, barely being able to hide the mischief it held. (Y/N) refused to look at him, feigning anger towards him because of what he did to him yet again.

How come Kusuke had such a huge thing for publicly humiliating him like this? And how come the (Y/HC)-haired always ends up going along with it until the very end?

There is no more denying having a vibrating butt plug in his ass while walking past people in a damn grocery store wasn't arousing him. No one knew, all just minding their own business, not having a clue that he was currently holding back groans, moans, whimpers, gasps. With the blonde at his side controlling the difficulty of said task.

"Awe, are you angry with me, love?", he knew for a fact (Y/N) wasn't, but he wanted to play the role of an innocent couple. He made a move to place the grocery list in his pocket as he waited for his beloved to speak, only to increase the intensity of the toy the moment he was about to speak. Damn, (Y/N) forgot the remote was in that pocket.

That resulted in him to let out a startled gasp, almost a squeak. He felt like his face was about to catch fire from all the heat that's rising up there, as all the people within a few meters looked their way at the sound.

The male was quick, maybe a bit too quick, to awkwardly wave them off, "I thought I just saw a rat- false alarm..."

A shaky sigh escaped his mouth, trying to mask the quiet moans that threatened to spill from the increased force in his ass with exhaustion. "I fucking hate you.", the mutter was barely loud enough, only for Kusuke's ears to hear. And oh, he was enjoying this.

The blonde shot him his usual smile, "Love, how about we go eat in that restaurant you like after we're done, hm? Will you forgive me then?"

For outsiders it might've seemed sweet, but (Y/N) knew exactly what this meant, after all, they've been on this rodeo already.

Kusuke liked having his boyfriend shower him with affection whenever he tortured him like this. It was like getting a reward for being amused by humiliating him.

What he just said roughly translated to: "Do you want to suffer more? Or will you be nice?"

#x male reader smut #saiki k #saiki k x male reader #x male reader #saiki k x reader #kusuke saiki #kusuke saiki x male reader

[derekscorner]

Fated Rantings: Ground Zero

I finished Fate Zero

And what a ride that was. I don't even know where to start with all of this which shocks me because I went in knowing things would go to hell.

I started my whole Fate journey due to lore videos, curiosity and FGO so (just like the 2006 Fate Stay Night) I had a full grasp of what would happen. To be shocked anyway just goes to show that the cast and their dialogues sell this story.

There's a stark difference between hearing plot points and watching Gilgamesh slowly poke at Kirei's mentality. There's a difference between knowing that Blue Beard is summoned by a serial killer and seeing them discuss the nature of God.

And there's one hell of a difference between seeing memes of Iskander & Waver and seeing what is possibly the best bromance within Type-Moon.

I went into this expecting Saber to be a bit too idealistic and for Kiritsugu to be a badass only to leave it finding Kiritsugu the least interesting compared to everyone else.

Magus Killer Indeed

Now, I do not say that to imply that he lacks depth himself. Kiritsugu is unique in how he operates within his magic world and you're not supposed to view him as idealistically as Irisviel or Shirou do, he's a flawed man with a very fucked up history.

This man, like Shirou, wanted to be a hero of justice as a child. An innocent enough desire but one that was both never tempered in realism and was shattered by realism.

What I mean by that is that Kiritsugu is plagued by a paradox. Yes, the village being turned into ghouls and murdered was bad. Yes, Kiritsugu killing his own father because he felt that "he had too" is a very dark sign of his mentality even as a child.

But these things haunt him, they do not drive him. What drives him is his desire to be that hero. When his world is shattered he takes a dark approach to kill the few to save the many.

It's that pursuit that eventually shatters his goal with the realism of humanity. You can never truly save everyone, other humans will always ruin it.

But the realism that pushes him to try anyway is the grail. In this world the wish granter is real, tangible, thus the paradox. He fully believes the goal shattered by realism can be salvaged by the realism of the grail's existence.

He's usually so pessimistic and realistic in his approaches to the war and battles that it's almost jarring to see his character break once he learns that the grail can't just do anything. You can see that last bit of idealism in his soul die.

Worse, the grail taunts him. It can only grant a wish that a human themselves can understand. As an example;

you can't ask for fire if you do not know how fire operates.

Thus the grail shows him a way to grant his wish but that wish grants nothing. This is very crucial to his breakdown because the grail showed him in the purest terms that;

This is your way of saving others but ultimately it saves no one

That's the point of the boat example. No matter how many you sacrifice for the whole, the survives will further fracture. There will always be a minority and a majority, Kiritsugu's life was essentially pointless in the larger picture.

Now, it'd be too cruel to say his life had no meaning at all. He was willing to sacrifice his mother figure and mentor to stop an undead outbreak. He killed his father because he felt responsible for his actions and Shirley's death.

He had to have done some good, it just wasn't in the way he had hoped. The greatest tragedy here is possibly that he's unable to see it.

We the audience see it in those rare moments of him being a father to his daughter, to Shirou, or a husband to Irisviel. People were drawn to him and loved him and if he had stopped his pursuits for them he may have found a happier ending.

True Emptiness

Then there's this true demon of a man. For all the talk, the praise of their battle, and Kiritsugu's own foreshadowing, I expected a deeper connection between the two.

It's strange, you can't just bring up Kiritsugu's flawed mentality without mentioning Kirei's yet the two only physically met one time. It's fascinating because I expected a bigger grudge or more plot relevance to their dynamic.

Yet, at the same time, their lack of interaction makes the eventual fight more interesting because of where Kirei starts and where he ends.

Intriguingly, Kiritsugu pegs Kirei near instantly. He only had a mug shot and some info on his life but he could instantly tell that there was something very wrong with Kirei. He sensed the lack of love and emptiness and feared him the most.

In contrast, Kirei didn't know Kiritsugu as well as he believed. Half of his emotional journey is realizing that they're not as alike as he thought.

This is best shown in his battle with Irisviel and Maya. He assumes Kiritsugu sent them there to battle him and he can't comprehend it when that's not the case. In his mind he is fully incapable of understanding why those two women would choose to face him.

He can't comprehend the illogical actions love will drive one too.

That said, the far more interesting dynamic in Kirei's life is Gilgamesh. While Kirei fails in his assumption of Kiritsugu and lacks a full understanding of himself it is Gilgamesh who sees through Kirei instantly.

Their talks are some of the most interesting parts in the story because you can tell Gilgamesh is trying to make him realize his own nature. Gilgamesh has no grand reason for doing so, he's just bored.

For all the dorky shit Gilgamesh does, for all the moments of him being oddly good with kids, or a good king (in FGO) you can't forget that Gilgamesh defies morality. He's not above it he just does not consider it.

He seeks entertainment and Kirei is the most interesting thing there. A full grown man unable to feel yet subconsciously seeking too. The answer is always on the tip of Kirei's tongue. (he's in self denial)

It's truly fascinating to watch it unfold. This ancient demigod taking a mentorship-like role just so he can see what Kirei will do.

It's due to these talks of introspection and Kirei's other actions that I find it hard to see the duality of he and Kiritsugu. What ultimately awakens Kirei's understanding is watching Kariya's suffering.

Gilgamesh may point it out but that's moot. It's Kariya's motives that catch Kirei's attention most, it's the drama with Tokiomi that fascinates him, it's saving Kariya and using him later that makes it click for Kirei internally.

You could possibly argue the whole thing is Tokiomi's fault. He gave his daughter to the Matous and even if he was unaware of the torture she'd endure for years that- no wait.

He possibly went wrong the moment he schemed with the church. Watching the Tohsaka's and Kariya play out their drama awoke the monster that is Kirei but it was Tokiomi's fault Kirei was there at all.

It was also Tokiomi that summoned Gilgamesh....hmm there's a lot more to ponder there I guess but let's move on.

I can only praise the depiction of Kirei's awakening so far before it seems like I like his character or adore it. It's fascinating to watch but he's still a monster that shouldn't be walking among men.

The Best Fate Bro to ever live

I wanted to use the last section of this to talk about the best fucking boy. I do not care what anyone tells you, Iskandar is the best bro in the Fate universe.

The very first thing this man does upon being summoned is find a map. With the enthusiasm of a child he admires it looking for where his kingdom is now and seeing the world mapped out in whole.

There's something that is just genuinely pure about Iskandar in Fate/Zero. No heroic spirit is without questionable actions in the modern lens but this story does a good job of blending that by explaining Iskandar's motives.

He has a genuine love of seeing new things. That joy is so pure that his wish for the grail is to be reincarnated so that he can begin his conqueroring anew. I have no earthly clue how he thinks he'll be able to do that in a normal mortal body but no matter because I doubt he's thought that far ahead himself.

His patience in dealing with a prideful child is also second to none. His words are often full of small wisdom to the point I did not keep count of them all nor could I explore it all. He's always pushing his master to try new things and it takes root overtime.

It is very easy to see how Waver could become the popular Lord El-Melloi II in other materials. It all began here, regardless of timelines, there's usually a Waver that fought in the 4th Grail War with Iskander.

I'm not even sure what to write about Waver himself because so much of what made the impression was seeing him slowly changing due to Iskandar's influence.

In a mage society that belittles him for being "new blood" it is Iskandar that continually tries to open his eyes. That's highlighted best when Waver tracks down Caster easily using simpler methods due to his magical limitations.

He views it as bad but Iskandar makes a good point. To do something in a simpler yet equally relevant way (perhaps even better) is a talent worthy of praise. Waver doesn't recognize his own ingenuity nor does he realize that there's merit in someone who can think around their limitations.

It's the core of their dynamic and that moment when Waver goes from being his master mage to his subject is beautiful. That strong loyalty born over the story even saves Waver's life.

Gilgamesh spares him based on that undying loyalty alone. A far cry from where Waver starts.

Kingly Mentality

Before I lose myself in the praise I should point out that Iskandar is no fool. Yes, he rarely plans in Fate Zero and his pure love for the new and patience shapes his bond with his mage.

However, do not mistake that pureness for a simpleton. Iskander is simply straightforward to a fault. His greatest characteristic is that friendly straightforward nature he has.

He's the one servant that repeatedly stops to talk to the others, he's able to get them to talk when they normally wouldn't, and even when he expresses desire to take them into his army those present do not get that offended.

Gilgamesh, the king of arrogance, even begins to shrug this off. On some level he respects Iskandar's nature because he is true to himself.

Still, some do think his attitude toward Saber is bad in regards to the banquet of kings. Now this is tumblr which is bad for seeing what isn't there to begin with or it's twitter which has lost it's critical thinking skills long ago.

What do I mean by this? Simple, while Iskandar and Gilgamesh disagree they at least respect each other as kings. Similarly they disrespect Artoria as king but for differing reasons.

To Iskandar a king is someone who stands above men as a symbol of their ideals. Something to follow, a larger than life person to show them the way.

What lost Iskandar's respect for Artoria's kingship was her wish. Her desire to undo it all, even if for good reasons, is an insult to Iskandar. No matter how tragic he would not change one moment of his life because that would affect everyone that fought for him and with him.

He sees Artoria as a slave of her people and the ideals she was raised on rather than a king that's truly led and valued her men. It is here that some have issues.

We'll argue King Arthur another time, what's relevant is why Iskandar views it. The tragic thing being that he is not entirely wrong.

Artoria was raised to be a king, she was conceived in convoluted magic ways to be England's king, so when he says that he only "sees a girl who could not chase butterflies or fall in love" he is entirely correct.

I do not say that dismissing her choices mind you but she did sacrifice that normalcy regardless. Iskandar, as we've covered, enjoys life at it's core.

So what he sees in Saber is a girl who was denied life. She could not truly enjoy it which disconnected her from her people. He views it as sad and states that one reason for recruiting her into his army is to show her otherwise.

Now as to whether he could have is another topic entirely. What's important is that he can't respect her as a king because he sees a martyr not a king.

The Fate Route of the FSN justifies his views to an extent because Saber eventually finds some things she denied herself in Shirou. She ultimately just needed a chance to be a person and Iskandar wanted to help her do so.

There are some faults in his thinking, yes, but his intentions aren't negative nor his his disrespect of her kingship based on sex. He fully respected Saber as a king until he learned her wish.

Even after he respected her as a warrior and wanted to see her enjoy life...and cut down his enemies BUT STILL.

Conclusion?

Already? So abruptly? Kinda. This got too big to fit into one post and there's a lot I can't find a way to organically work in.

Such as Tokiomi's dumb ass making Kirei Rin's guardian when his wife is perfectly healthy and alive when he writes that will.

Or how Gilgamesh views Saber just as objectively and disrespectfully as you'd expect. His take on her kingship and sex is completely negative and objectifying, a contrast to Iskandar.

Hell the whole mutual respect and differences between Gilgamesh and Iskandar.

I also didn't get to the odd but unnervingly deep take on God between two mass murderers. (Caster & Ryuunosuke)

I definitely don't have it in me to cover Kiritsugu's family. Illyasviel is more of a FSN topic and Irisviel is hard for me to quantify. Her love for her husband and of the small things he showed her was beautiful though.

Oh well, ONTO PART TWO: https://derekscorner.tumblr.com/post/737301977761005569/fated-rantings-seiba-pt-2#notes

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For my other experiences with Fate go here: https://derekscorner.tumblr.com/tagged/fated-rantings

#fate series #fate zero #gilgamesh #fate saber #emiya kiritsugu #irisviel von einzbern #kotomine kirei #iskander #velvet waver #illyasviel von einzbern #fated rantings