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fandomfluffandfuck · 7 months

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As a smut writer with a vagina, I always struggle a bit to explore the sensations that penis-havers experience during arousal. I know what’s getting hard looks like, but not what it feels like internally.

Combining my research and, echem, other needs, a writing prompt: Steve explaining to a formerly chemically castrated recovering Bucky what getting hard feels like, and how to recognize arousal. What it feels like when he wants him. Reminding Bucky of those feelings and talking him into his first erection in 70 years.

Ah jeeze, I sent that writing request for Steve explaining to Bucky what it feels like to get hard and I just realized how completely invasive and assuming some of that ask was. I really apologize.

You're okay! That's a fair question/request, and this is the place to come with it, lol.

First, though, I do have to say that, coming from my personal experience, the way smut writers without dicks (as far as I'm aware, lol) describe dicks and erections is usually pretty on the money. It's hot [temperature wise]. It's throbbing. It's tight and, well, hard. It's also often annoying when an erection just... happens. Because it happens randomly, too. It's not just a teenage thing, unfortunately, lol. (I mean, it's (usually) not a full erection like it can be in teendom, but it's still a thing as you get older.)

Second, I could've sworn I read a fic where Bucky was castrated surgerically and was struggling with arousal/erections but I can't find it again :/

Okay, onto this prompt:

*trigger warning for off screen, insinuated HYDRA Trash Party/HYDRA typical violence

This would be a fucking challenge for them. Not only because recovery is tough--recovery from anything--but especially recovery from 70 fucking years of brainwashing and torture.

Also, this is challenging because Steve very much is also deprogramming from his own trauma as well as struggling with his Catholic upbringing. That shame runs deep. Steve is very, very good at feeling shame and guilt.

When Bucky presents him with the question of, "what is it like?" As they're discussing the reversal effects, returning libidos, and coming off of the chemical castration drugs, pamphlets spread out messily over the kitchen island counter, Steve is absolutely tongue-tied. He stammers and blushes and squirms in his kitchen bar stool.

Bucky, in contrast, is sitting still. His voice is even. Fine. "Getting an erection," he clarifies without issue, "what does it feel like?" There's a crease between his dark eyebrows. It's the look he gets when he's thinking, specifically, when he's trying to remember something that's fuzzy--just out of reach and slipping from between his fingers more and more by the second.

Steve isn't sure if that tone of voice and the neutrality is Bucky being Bucky--he never had much shame before. Before... all of this. He always was a flirt, a charmer. As soon as he had an experience, when they were old enough, he told Steve things about girls that Steve felt like would cause God to open hell directly underneath them. Earth gaping. Swallowing them whole. He couldn't ever explain why he stuttered out the words to ask again and again and again, though. He knew he didn't care about the gals. He didn't... he doesn't like women that way.

It was about Bucky.

It's always been about Bucky.

Or... if it's maybe something that was burned out of Bucky by them? HYDRA. Steve desperately hopes it's not that. He wants the fact that he's fine discussing such private matters because he's always been that way (maybe with a tiny mix of being too old and seasoned to give a shit).

Right now, Bucky and him are perfect opposites.

Bucky is easily getting the words out, asking for some from Steve in exchange. Meanwhile, Steve can't get say a word, no matter how loud and clear Bucky is.

It's not that Steve doesn't want to have this conversation with Bucky. He wants to give Bucky every tool he needs to help aid him in recovery; he wants to be honest with him; he wants to open himself to Bucky like a book so he can read and glean what he needs from him. It's so fucking difficult, though.

Bucky's doctors warn Steve and Bucky both what coming off of the drugs causing his chemical castration will mean. A surge in sex hormones as his body resumes doing what it should, resulting in a, hopeful, return of his libido and physical sexual functioning along with possible hot flashes, racing heart, and a handful of other assorted side effects. A roll of the dice. They won't totally know until they get there.

Chemical castration isn't permanent, usually. But, usually, people aren't chemically castrated for 70 fucking years. Also, usually, the people in question aren't super soldiers. So, there's things working against Bucky and with him.

Bucky's body should bounce back.

Steve closes his eyes for too long to just be a blink, picturing the scars around Bucky's shoulder. Flesh seared to metal. No choice but to adapt.

Bucky's body should bounce back.

"Good as new," one of the medical students working in tandem with the team of doctors had said. Steve thinks that student could use more bedside manner training.

"Steve?"

"Uh--" Steve clears his throat, "yeah. It's..."

"You don't have to."

Steve nods tightly, "I want to. I just." He swallows noisily, he figures he'll just be as honest as he can, "I don't know how to say it," he runs his fingers through his hair, musing it.

Bucky nods back. After a moment he volunteers, "I remember getting them, I just..."

"You just?" Steve prompts, leaning forward to grab his hand and squeeze.

"I don't remember anything else. I got them. Didn't I?" Bucky looks at his wearily.

"You definitely did," Steve's voice is huskier than he intends. He can't help it. A full-body shiver takes over his muscles. He remembers Bucky's erections almost as much as he remembers his own.

Sharing the same tiny, ratty-sheet-covered bed. Bucky pressed up against his back, his breath hot and humid on his neck, an arm thrown around his waist, with his dick regularly hardening in his sleep and pressing even more insistently against his boney ass.

Wrestling on their shitty, creaking wooden floor. Bucky on top of him, laughing brilliantly. Dark hair falling from its careful, swept-up style. Leaning up to kiss him to distract him, the only way he could win. Kissing and kissing until Bucky would melt, groaning, falling onto him, chest to chest, their erections sliding together. Hard. Hot.

Listening to Bucky stumble in drunk and smiling to himself, stifling the expression in the flat pillow under his head, pretending to sleep until Bucky stumbles into their bed. Then, pretending to wake up slowly and prettily as Bucky pawed at him. Sometimes, Bucky'd be hard already. Sometimes, he would get hard deliciously slowly, the alcohol affecting him, making it a challenge. And sometimes he wouldn't get hard if he had too much.

(Steve secretly loved it when he didn't get hard. Soft and vulnerable and perfect for worshipping. Steve would fall to his knees and rub his face against his soft cock and suck and suck until Bucky came without getting hard at all. It still felt good. Steve should know. It's not like his Johnson worked all the time back then, anyway.)

Steve jostles himself from the memories, trying, only half-successfully, to not feel guilty over the fact that he can remember all that with perfect eidetic detail while Bucky can't.

He re-crosses his legs in the other direction.

"Okay," Steve tries to push his energy from memories to words, "okay. It's, like, it... it almost feels like." God, why does he suck so much at this? "Like, it-it's blood rushing into your dick, right?"

Bucky has the gall to roll his eyes.

Steve wants to call him an asshole. And he would if he weren't too busy untangling his words, trying to spit them out no matter how much shame tugs at him. "So it's swollen. It gets hot, too, because, well, your, your blood is hot. Body temperature. Y'know. Whatever. It's... just... swollen and hot and, uh, stiff?"

"It is a stiffy," Bucky says dryly.

Steve dryly laughs, "jerk," he bites his lower lip, clearly that's not enough to satisfy Bucky's curiosity, "you know, so, okay, you know when you finish in the gym and your muscles are just beginning to get sore? Like. It doesn't hurt. But your muscles are tight and pumped and hard because you just used them?"

"I'm familiar." Steve's pretty sure Bucky's being an asshole on purpose now. Just to give him something else to think about. Fucker.

"It's like that," he finishes the thought, "but. It's your dick, not your usual muscles."

"So... does it get sore? Like your muscles?"

"No." Steve answers automatically, then, "it, uh, throbs. Pulses, kinda. I mean, it, it can hurt. If you have it for a long time."

"Right," there's a minute pause. Steve knows without asking that they're both picturing all the goofy pharma ads that're on TV nowadays. Contact your doctor if you have an erection lasting more than 4 hours... "You said it's tight?"

"Yeah. Tight and heavy, too. 'Cause, because it fills with blood. It gets engorged. Swollen."

Bucky nods, but it's clear he wants more.

"Yeah," Steve struggles, his face burning. "Kinda, kinda, like..." he pulls a face just thinking about the way he's about to describe an erection. It's visceral. It makes him want to squirm a little bit. But, it's the only thing he can think of. "If you stuck a balloon under your skin and started to inflate it. It gets tight and hot and stiff as it stretches. And the more the, the, uh, balloon inflates, the more sensitive it gets--"

Bucky makes a considering noise.

"--But then. Then, once you've started, it's hard to stop. It gets fuller, stiffer, and more sensitive. When you touch it, because it's sensitive and tight and you need to do something about it, it gets stiffer and then more sensitive because it's stiffer. So you touch more. Until. Yeah. It's, uh, it's a positive feedback loop."

"Oh."

Suddenly, as happens sometimes, Steve's mouth runs away from him. He's embarrassed, and his brain decides that the only way to fix it is to get all the embarrassing words out. "It throbs. Like. With your pulse. If you get. If you get hard enough, it th-throbs with your pulse. And it feels like it comes from your, like, core. Like. Not just your balls. Inside you."

"Hm?" Bucky interjects, eyebrows drawing together.

"Like, when you get, ah, a-aroused. It comes from your stomach almost. And it goes up your back and down your balls, too. It's, it's not tingling but, more, more like when you really have to pee and you can't help but shiver. A much hot, hotter version of that."

"You-" Bucky's eyebrows come together. "You can't pee when you're erect, right?"

"No, no. It--that does hurt. It kinda burns? If you try to pee with a hard, hard--if you try to pee with an erection. It doesn't work like that."

"No," Bucky agrees softly.

"But it doesn't burn otherwise. It, it when you're really hard, feels like, like you might explode. It gets so tight and, I'm trying to think of anything but hard, but it really just feels hard."

Bucky snorts.

Steve's big mouth keeps motoring, of course, "oh, and, uh, it gets wet." Steve is going to explode, not in the fun my-dick-is-hard way, in the vibrating-with-embarrassment way. Oof.

Bucky just looks intrigued. Not embarrassed.

Dammnit.

"I, I, I don't mean," Steve lowers his voice, "cum."

Bucky laughs at his expense.

"I mean... when you're erect. It can leak. It's just pre-cum. It's not. It's nothing to be worried about. Just so you don't--" he bites the inside of his cheek, "I don't want you to worry."

Bucky tips his head from side to side, considering. "What if I--"

"What if you?"

"What if I let you know when it happens? So you know I'm not worried."

Steve flushes the hottest he has yet. He coughs. "Y-yeah, that'd be, that'd be... good."

I hope that's satisfactory for what you had in mind! I didn't really know how to tackle this prompt, lol.

#asks #fandomfluffandfuck #bucky barnes #steve rogers #stucky #htp #hydra trash party #it's off screen but i figured it be good to include that tag anyway #for the people filtering it

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canonkiller · 8 months

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but you can't keep holding on like this.

#you can put a disability metaphor in any legfndary draconic entity. many people dont know this #my art #comic #ouroboros #for tag filtering:#blood #its a blurry day forgive typos

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lily-blue-blue-lily · 7 months

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due to the amount of blogs i follow, the length of time i have had tumblr and the amount of fandoms i have been in, i really see a range of opinions on this over my dash so its time for a poll:

* please be nice to each other in the notes, this poll is purely for my own curiosity because i see such a varied range of opinions of her on this site and not because i want to cause drama!

** im well aware this poll will probably be biased because in my experience, once the swiftie side of tumblr gets a hold of a poll, thats when it gets the most reblogs, so if youre not a swiftie seeing this, please reblog to help get a bigger sample size (thats not to say swifties cant reblog this though, please do!!)

*** i wanted to add more categories cos i get that peoples opinions are more nuanced but im limited by the tumblr poll format lol, so if none of these fit, select the closest option and explain in the tags!

#polls #i won't add any other tags because i think certain people will have certain tags filtered #and i want this to reach as many people as possible #this is either gonna flop or im really gonna regret making it lmao

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theminecraftbee · 7 months

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i had to go back and get this. "oh god, no, we aren't forming a polycule."

#hermitcraft #goodtimeswithscar #zombiecleo #bdoubleo100 #cubfan135 #as bdubs said: i feel like we already have!#do i need to tag this #hermitshipping #yeah sure i mean it's. they did Just Say It. but sure for the people filtering it i guess

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writeouswriter · 14 days

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People sorting ao3 solely by stats and only clicking on fics with a certain amount of kudos or comments, you will not survive the winter, nor the summer, nor at all, *brings out knife,* run

#ao3 #fanfiction #because if everyone thinks like that then so many fics that might be great get buried and fall into the void #someone has to read it with no hits or kudos #not to mention sometimes people just have wildly different tastes so you don't know unless you look at it yourself #i put a bunch of exclusion filters and then go by summary and tags and open all the ones that sound interesting to me #if they're bad well easy enough to move on #but lotta good ones hidden in there with not a comment in sight and i must change that #knife tw #?#tw knife mention

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pillowspace · 8 months

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#pillowspace art #moondrop #fnaf moon #fnaf daycare attendant #fnaf dca #fnafsb #fnaf security breach #while this isn't explicitly x reader. i'll tag it as such for peoples' filtering purposes #just in case #moon x reader #dca x reader #dca fandom

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chewingbatmanlikeasqueakytoy · 2 months

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Why doesn't the justice league know about Amity Park?

Okay so it's been a bit sonce I watched the show but one of the things in DpxDC is the anti-ecto acts, which I love, but correct me if I'm wrong, I THINK ??? they only show up in reality trip? SO: What if Danny, when using the gauntlet to undo everything, also got rid of the Anti-Ecto acts? but this is babys first time editing reality so he uh Fucks Up A Lil'. As a result when Danny used the reality gauntlet to wipe the AEA from existence he accidentally wiped Amity Park from perception. A big 'nothing matters over here' jedi mind trick, and now no ones looking at Amity. So, the Justice League actually WERE looking into and monitoring the situation in Amity, but when the perception filter closed them off, all of that suddenly went ignored.

This is noticed when someone (Alfred, Dick, Tim, literally anyone) realises theres just. A BIG dusty pile of case files semi abandoned somewhere in the cave when going through a (time period)ly cave cleaning.

They put it down because it's Not Important.

They come back to finish the cleaning the next day and do the exact same thing, but there's nothing to actually distract them this time and it pings as weird. Because why would case files be not important? They are by definition important, because only things flagged as important go into case files.

They try to get someone else to read it, because as long as they don't read the information in the file, they don't put it down.

That person goes to read it, gets a line in and then says something like 'that isn't important' and goes to leave. Person A pushes it and person B ALSO catches on.

Que the Batfam trying to figure out hey, what the fuck actually?

Meanwhile, how is Amity fairing? Canon compliant everything's going alright? Or have knock on effects to No One Look Here started to show?

#Another way for the JL not to notice amity park and not make the JL wildly incompetent #and if the anti ecto acts ARE a response to reign storm #then the JL doing their own investigations into it around that time checks out #plus it opens plenty of reasonable excuses for some of the more horrifying concepts to take place #oh an entire town only people inside it can percieve?#an entire organisation like the giw you could totally bullshit something like #they have anti ghost technology of COURSE the perception filter doesnt effect them #they made the anti filters when they realised they were unable to communicate outside the town #so thats how theyre getting funding and supplies in #(and that leaves a trail for the JL to follow)#YEAH #an entire town that cant be percieved #with a population that arguably the government has given free range on?#that sounds like a cadmus PLAYGROUND #dpxdc #dc x dp #dp x dc #dcxdp #danny phantom #story prompt #or starter?#lmao not sure

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dedusmuln · 5 months

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yeah you support trans people but are you normal about trans men who choose to get pregnant

#i'm not a trans guy who evr wants to get pregnant but #the amount of queer ppl and other trans people i see joke around about like #how weird mpreg or men getting pregnant is #and use it as shock value shit #is really disheartening #like damn dude! it's almost like men CAN get pregnant and there IS a lot of men who choose to get pregnant !#they don't deserve any less respect for that #and their existence shouldn't be made into a joke #ik mpreg doesn't have a great history but like #it just weirds me out to see people treat the idea of men getting pregnant as something baffling #idk normalize it. stop treating it as some weird alien thing #my textbox #a little bit upset. sorry #discourse #pregnancy #<- for filtering

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illya-roma · 5 months

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Jazz, holding a mushroom stake she made for damian as gift at gun point: any last words?

Ectocontaminated mushroom stake : you mere mortal can not kill me in a way that matters.

Jazz, cocking the gun: try me

----

Jazz: Here, I made this for you

Tiny damian vibrating with excitement because his favourite chef made more food: Give me!

Jazz raises an eyebrow:...

Damian stops stuffing his mouth: Thank you, Jazlyn.

-----

Jazz, fist fighting a whole undead turkey: And always make sure to wear your gloves, we don't want a speck of ow dirt on it.

The turkey: * curses in turkey*

The chefs who's numbers are dwindling because Thalia hates that their food is not as delicious as the new cook's:

----

Ra's al ghoul forcing a blush down: *slowly takes a bit out of his food*

Ra's: ...

Ra's: DAMMIT Thalia the spaghetti is mine!

Thalia hiding in the walls:

-------

Thalia ogling at the new chefs muscles:

Jazz stabbing a screaming octopus: Hi! Can I help you?

Thaila an assassin, who's sitting on the counter right infront of Jazz, shamelessly staring at her: You could take of your chef jacket. I know blood can be hard to clean.

Jazz breaking it's spine: Good idea!

@phantom00maverick @jackpoompkin

#liminal jazz #jazz naturally filters ectoplasm #the food is not dangerous to humans #just nutritious to less liminal peoples #jazz has the most contamination #everyone else far faaar less than her #dp x dc #dpxdc #dc x dp #dp x dc crossover

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unexpectedbrickattack · 1 year

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Hiding the rest of this HUGE comic behind a readmore for ur sanity

Hes got the keenest eye for these things!

Now that this is hiding behind a readmore i can justify writing an essay in here. Nothing big tho i am just very chatty :)!

Postgame where Peppino still gets visits every now and again from the bosses of the tower. I already drew one for the noise (lmao) but i wanted to draw each of the main four interacting with him in some way.

Pepperman is a refined and well renowned artist. His art is highly sought after and his advice is not taken lightly. He has many MANY fortunes to pull from to make his visions a reality and to influence anyone to do anything. Except for Peppino.

From the very first fight, Pepperman is immediately, overwhelmingly obsessed with this stout little brawler. He is much much more than what meets the eyes. He is initially extremely offput and annoyed that a human so boldly decided to waltz into his domain, and he expects to be able to steamroll and bully this…beast…out of his place of work. He is refined when he wants to be, but he is quick to use his brute strength to get what he wants if only bc he knows he can do it

And so when he decides to fully charge and thrash this little trembling human, expecting him to skitter away the second he gets struck, he is completely unprepared for when he gets launched to the other end of this room. The human looks so incredibly PISSED, like a bull seeing red, and suddenly this little altercation suddenly became a real actual ‘knock your teeth out’ brawl. This human is only like half his height, but his punches and bashes fucking knock the wind out of him.

And like ! To add insult to injury!!! After he wins the fight! He visibly deflates, the adrenaline seemingly wearing off. Hes just this trembling fuckin whelp again !!! Whimpering as he fucking runs back out through the portal to do god knows what. And Pepperman could not be any more fucking intrigued. Like this no name came in, whooped his fuckin ass, and went about his day. Its unreal

While Peppino is running around climbing the tower, Pepperman is in his room losing his mind. Hes obsessed. No one has challenged him in this way. No one has fought him and WON. He is ALWAYS able to bully people into submission either through brute force or with money, and he got his ass handed to him !! He needs to know more. Its quite literally consuming him.

Cut to the final fight, set up for a rematch; and he knows he is going to get steamrolled again but it is SO exhilarating to get another chance to see this humans form up close again. This time he can try to commit everything to memory. Its all such a blur though, and in a quarter of the time it took to end their first fight, its over. He gets to watch the human fight the gunslinger with his bare hands, no gun necessary, and he doesnt even bat an eye at what looks to be a clone of himself. He is a force of nature tearing through every single defense, and when Pepperman watches the actual final fight with the bizarre little pizza man, its like hes caught in a movie. The rain, the storm, the atmosphere. He wishes he could burn the entire scene into his mind.

So when everything returns to normal, he takes the time to travel for days to come and find this little human named Peppino. The memory is still strong and vivid but eventually, details will start to slip his mind. He needs to find this human, convince him to sit and do some still life sessions with him to help cement the humans appearance in his head. He hasnt had to resort to…asking for permission for anything in a loooong time…he bullies people into doing what he wants but Peppino is not your average person, and if he wants something from this man, he’ll have to meet him at his level.

He...can make an exception for Peppino...he supposes.