#how to behave online

[jmtorres]

so a post wandered across my dash where someone had gotten a transphobic butthole commenting on their fic, and they were asking their followers go tell this person to kill themselves

and i said, have you considered telling people to kill themselves is an abusive tactic and maybe the proportionate response would be to delete the idiotic comment [alas blocking was not available as the coward hadn't logged in]

to their credit, this person blocked me rather than sending me abuse (though if they replied, I can't see it because they blocked, oh well)

but like. it kinda bothers me that someone i follow thought this was cool to reblog. i thought me and my mutuals were on the same page here. we don't tell people to kill themselves. we especially do not incite others to send someone a slew of such messages. we tell bigoted idiots off, block them when possible, report them if we can nail what they said to a hate speech or threat policy.

we do not tell people to kill themselves.

if you think it's acceptable to send someone a "kys" message for literally any reason please go ahead and block me, I don't want to know you.

#how to tumblr #fandom #discourse #i hope anyone who will be triggered by the phrase has it filtered in post text #how to behave online #i don't see how this is a difficult stance #yet apparently it's common for people to lash out this way

[iraprince]

Hiii, i love your stuff and kinda from a distance really look up at you for, in my perception, being able to express yourself without giving a fuck. Thats sick dude, Im so so afraid, of absolutely everything, its nice to think like i might grow into someone less apologetic of my existence. Nice to see people just being yknow

hey, thank you, this is really really nice. the secret that is probably not a secret is that i am also deeply afraid a lot of the time lmao -- but less than i used to be, and in ways that feel less stifling and self-suffocating, if that makes sense.

like, it used to be "i'm scared that if i express myself the way i want to, everyone will find me obnoxious, so let's just sand those edges down to be safe" -- now my fears are more like "now that i'm expressing myself in a way that feels natural and real, i'm afraid that it's all stupid/vapid/not worthwhile or meaningful" (<- specifically abt my art) or "i'm happy that i talk and act the way i want to now, but what if it makes me impossible to befriend," etc etc etc. which still feels bad and puts me in a funk a lot of the time but at least it's a fear that comes After/in reaction to doing stuff, rather than a fear that STOPS me from doing stuff, you know? like, it's evolved into a kind of fear that's less in my way.

anyway. i believe you'll experience something like this, because wanting to grow is the first step of growing. the fact that u hope or wish for something different means you're already on your way. to fewer fucks!! or at least distributing the fucks u give in a way that serves u better

#stuff like accepting that i'm reserved and i'm not very accessible via messages. #or that my online tone isn't very bubbly and it's weird and uncomfortable to force it. #i stop letting fears about that shape my behavior ('i'll look mean or snotty so let's force markers of Friendliness to avoid that!!') - #- and instead act the way i want to and then trade it in for new fears that come After the action. #also a good reminder to give urself is that if ur fear is abt how other ppl perceive u (as 90% of mine is personally) #u really... can't actually control that. and being very very anxious abt it all the time is usually ur brain throwing a tantrum abt not-- #--having that control. bc it is understandably very scary that u don't have that control #as much as it sucks + is terrifying the truth is the only thing u can do is ask urself 'am i behaving in a way that i'm proud of' #'am i behaving in a way that's in alignment w my values + what i think is important' #bc if the answer to that is yes and somebody hates u or is deeply offended by ur existence anyway. well. literally not ur problem #but obv being at peace w that is way way easier said than done + requires tons of practice and will take. probably. years. which is fine #i am stuck with myself. i can either contort myself forever trying to be someone everyone will like and find totally nonthreatening and- #inoffensive and in the process exhaust myself totally and never feel safe or natural myself. OR #i can say okay. so i am a kind of prickly guy with stern and drab speech patterns and close to no social energy. and i think i can still be #-sexy and fun this way. and it is up to other ppl to figure out if they can agree w me on that #ANYWAY enough rambling for now. just another one of those things i think abt a lot so i have a lot of ready-made sentences abt it in mind

[pigeonwit]

davey jacobs but he has meltdowns. big ugly meltdowns where he cant be touched or spoken to and just needs to be left alone to cry and stim and scream and go catatonic for a little bit. davey jacobs but he has involuntary twitches and stims that include punching himself, twitching his neck/his face, knocking his knuckles together, scratching his skin, etc. davey jacobs but he has shutdowns where he just cant get out of bed or shower or do anything because his energy is so thoroughly spent that even moving hurts. davey jacobs being autistic but not the 'palatable' kind of autistic that neurotypicals find cute and quirky. but his loved ones still love him anyways and don't get frustrated with him for it. they try to help him stim the way he needs to without hurting himself. they dont get mad when hes so exhausted that he cant do certain things because they know its not a matter of choice or pushing yourself or him purposefully not wanting to make an effort for them, he simply cannot do it just yet.

davey jacobs being autistic in ways that are inconvenient and frustrating. davey jacobs being deeply ashamed of that all his life. davey jacobs learning over time that there are people who will not treat his autism and its more difficult aspects as an obstacle to overcome in order to love him.

davey jacobs being autistic and still being loved unconditionally for it.

#now switch out 'davey jacobs' for 'me; tumblr user pidge pigeonwit' #i need to go to back to university right now or i will DIE. #anywhore. this isnt me saying 'ugh the newsies fandom treats autism like [x]' tbc #honestly all the autistic headcanons ive seen have been dope and received well. #its almost like we're all autistic and know what the fuck we're talking about #but man!! i sure hate how autistic people have to constantly be behaving ourselves in order to be treated like fucking people!! #both in real actual life and online!! #vent #too poor for therapy tag #newsies #davey jacobs #uksies

[thecryptidart1st]

i just watched an hour long video of fnaf tumblr's voldemort's drama

#self doodle #yeah... #sometimes i relax with videos about infamous internet people #i mean i knew a few things from tiktok #but this went DEEP into the tumblr drama #and just...wow #i have a deep appreciation for not starting my art tumblr until my mid twenties #i have a deep appreciation for all the mistakes i made on my deviantart/anime mmorpg sites that helped how i behaved online #kudos to Payton_Playzzz on youtube #never have seen a video where 3 min where just dedicated to disclaimers #stuff to maybe delete

[judilyart]

I miss the period of time on the internet when undertale first came out and everybody was obsessed with it and finding weird secret lore and creating endless fanart... it was such a special game

#I've been watching some playthroughs again and STILL finding new things about the game #the way the internet behaved and how if something blew up every soul would know about it and it would be *everywhere* #the online world was just different.... or maybe i was just a teenager who knows

[local-fire-dumpster]

Zionists will unironically post stuff like "fuck around and find out" under images of mutilated Palestinian children and then complain about how the algorithm on social Media is supposedly "rigged" to be Pro-Palestine like you can't make this shit up

#israel #palestine #free palestine #ceasefire NOW #I know that there are a lot of things that are infuriating about the current situation but if there is one thing that grinds my gears #like nothing else its the way zionists behave online #I saw the image of the the legless child hanging from the side of a building and how anyone can gloat under that I can't imagine #sickening people fr

[terryboot]

not to sound like an old biddy but handing kids ipads and phones from the minute they're born does such a disservice to them.

#ive been working in schools for over a decade now #and i can say that the current batch of year 7s are unequivocally the worst behaved i've seen #they've never had to be bored in their lives because someone always gave them a screen #and it fucking shows #also i think they're all so used to being able to voice their every thought and opinion online #that they have no idea how to keep quiet while other people are speaking #i genuinely love working in schools #and ive had some great interactions with the year 7s in smaller groups #they are lovely kids #but my god in a classroom setting they're the fucking worst #i just think that being bored is hugely important for kids development #anyway #thats my old man yells at cloud moment for today #about me

[aiming-for-phantoms]

Hot take but I just read a long post about someone being so upset and angry about the way the other people on empires treat Jimmy Solidarity (pranks, making fun of him, ect) and people in the replies were agreeing and talking about how distraught it makes them and all I can say is you should really stop watching his/others' Empires videos if its making you that upset because I can guarantee that its all in good fun and the man is having a perfectly okay time. He's having fun with his friends, they just like to rag on him. My friends like to rag on me too and it's totally fine, I enjoy it. You're projecting and you're, like, WAY too invested if it's upsetting you like that. You're turning him having fun with his friends into something it's not.

Stop using his videos to make yourself miserable :| Go watch something else instead of being self destructive and then whining about it online when there's not even anything wrong or mean really happening :| I'm so serious when I say that this is chronically online behavior and you need to go talk to a professional because that is Not Normal.

#not to tumblr subtweet or whatever but what the fuck guys #get offline. genuinely #he is having fun with his friends. he is having a good time. #they were like “its giving me flashbacks to middle school” DUDE. STOP WATCHING. HIS VIDEOS GO AS HE WANTS THEM TOO. HE EDITS AND CHOOSES WH #AT TO POST. YOU ARE PROJECTING AND YOU'RE BEING A DICK. HE AND HIS FRIENDS ARE GOOFY IN A WAY THAT WOULD PERSONALLY MAKE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE. #LIKE OKAY SURE!!! IF YOU DONT LIKE IT THEN THATS OKAY AND YOU DONT HAVE TO BE IN THAT SITUATION. BUT YOURE BEING A DICK BY COMPLAINING ABOU #T IT AND WHINING ONLINE ABOUT HOW HE INTERACTS WITH HIS FRIENDS. IT IS PLAYFUL AND ENJOYABLE FOR HIM BECAUSE IF IT WASNT HE'D NOT BE DOING #IT BECAUSE HES AN ADULT AND HE WOULD TELL HIS FRIENDS (IN PRIVATE WHERE YOU CANT SEE IT) THAT WHAT THEYRE DOING IS UPSETTING HIM #you are being parasocial my guy #also stop using his videos to hurt yourself dude what??? that is not healthy??? #sorry for ranting. im sure ill get upset people in asks again. thats fine #idrc because im a fucking adult and i recognize that a grown ass man wouldnt be behaving like this and having a villain arc in minecraft #because he was genuinely mad at his friends :| and that you need to do something if seeing it is upsetting you and that its unhealthy that #people agree with you and theyre basically enabling you/encouraging you by acting like its normal to be so upset over something innocuous #rant over #aim.rant #aim.txt #jimmy solidarity #solidarity gaming #solidaritygaming #mcyt

[eileennatural]

so glad i went to school pre-tiktok bc if my teacher went online talking abt how stupid their students were. you'd have seen me on the news

#it cannot he okay for these teachers to just go online and tell thousands or millions of people how stupid or poorly behaved their students #were. i put up w enough of them practically saying that shit to my face but to post it everywhere? imagine being 14 and going on #tiktok and seeing that

[lacefuneral]

anthem for my fellow fat/disabled/autistic people who get caught in the crosshairs of bodyshaming/virginshaming etc. that is supposedly done in the name of Dunking On The Right

#not to mention how this shit hits trans women too #fat trans women with facial hair and receding hairlines exist and they aren't evil #just because you have coded people who appear this way as such #i do consider myself to be a leftist. but it frustrates me the way a lot of so-called leftists behave #anyway as an aside i have absolutely done more trans activism both irl and online than the thin/abled ppl who say shit like this #also also. low femme anthem too #because god knows some days i do Not feel feminine enough #but i am. even if i'm not meeting societal expectation all the time #transfems take this to heart too. you are feminine bc you identify this way #you are enough. #jay.rtf

[truthsinwhispers]

You guys are report brigading?

#have some common sense and use the block button without announcing it to the whole world. #the report button is for: spam bots. bigots/hate speech. abuse (REAL ABUSE). behavior that is unsafe to others. #we do not report people with kinks we don't like bffr. #genuinely. some of you have no sense of online etiquette. please learn how to behave before you scroll. #idk this isn't targeted at any one specific person just. have some common sense guys.

[creaturefeaster]

What's your dream job?🔮

I'd love to work somewhere in the field of animal biology, or just animal study/care in general. I have an interest in the processes & functionality of animal bodies that people don't fully understand yet, as well as their psychology.

It is one of my favorite things, to study an animal so closely that you begin to understand everything about it's life and why they live it they way that they do.

#it's really hard to find solid info on how geese behave & what they need to be happy online #because there's a lot of differing opinions and and views #and also i have a feeling a lot of non-chicken/duck poultry farming is not often discussed online but through word of mouth-- #--between said poultry farmers #at least that's the feeling i've gotten from it all when trying to research in the past #but nothing has brought me more delight than to learn exactly what my geese want from me #and to learn exactly how to control their behavior while maintaining their respect #just yesterday there was a hawk flying above the field #a hawk would not go for a goose they are much too large #but the sight of a large bird flying above still upset them #and they knew once i got up and started walking across the field to follow me back to their pen in a hurry #i said nothing to them and did nothing to try and convince them to follow #and they would not normally follow me for just getting up randomly #and it brought me such happiness to know that we are all on the same level of understanding #SORRY this is a long tag ramble but i just love understanding animals

[ink-asunder]

Me: (comments on a video with a classic "this is going to be stuck in my head forever" format)

Some cunt: "Discord mod vocab."

Like what the fuck do you mean?? Literally everyone talks with words what the fuck are you talking about

#me: why is everyone so coarse and shitty online lately? #*remembers its a voting year* #oh right #look i'm not slagging off voting but the government really went OFF creating a hostile environment every 4 years for no fucking reason #btw if you try to call me delusional for thinking this way: my friend literaly pointed this out to me first so eat it #'discord mod vocab' 'hey hey hey! wanna know a secret? you can just sit... outside!!' #'uhm actually the fact that you're okay with sokka not being a manbaby in the netflix show shows you don't understand how misogyny works #and the cartoon should be recreated flawlessly or else it's inferior. also taylor swift is the most oppressed woman in the world' #shut up shut the fuck up you're acting like you don't know how to behave online. go home.

[scottapez]

god radfems are so mad like. all the time.

#once u know how they comunicate and behave it takes like 2 seconds to tell #theyre (online casual ones not in a professional setting at least) are usually so damn condescending. and i can tell it comes from #discomfort and vitriol #because while i was never a terf i WAS an exclusionist back when i was rlly young an stupid and i spent most of my time like. #relinquishing my respect in someone if they even mildly deterred from my worldview and consuming "evidence'' like WOAH LOOK SEE! THERE'S A #BOOK ABOUT HOW IM RIGHT! AND ITS EVEN OLD! #its sad rlly #t.alk #damn im glad i use shinigami eyes #* note as stupid as i was i like.. at least had the excuse of being literally 13 .

[magpie-come-east]

The last reblog reminded me of the summer of 2017. My cop uncle (50 at the time mind you) would troll left leaning Facebook pages to trigger the libs for clout. In truth he was just calling anyone and everyone homophobic and transphobic slurs and preening like a shitting pigeon no matter the response he got. The kicker is he wanted this behavior to be anonymous (because he’s a coward), but was too much of a boomer to understand that simply changing his name on his personal page did not mean all his previous followers/family/friends could not see what he posted.

#this was a man I only ever saw once a year at Christmas. we weren’t close and barely interacted #but when I blocked his Facebook he had my dad ask why I didn’t follow him anymore #i said I was deeply embarrassed of being connected in any way to a grown man that behaved like that online. and that it was 1000x worse #that he was a police officer. #ACAB because how am I supposed to feel safe as a gay person around #a man that bemoaned that gay people weren’t dying of AIDS fast enough anymore #why should I seek help from people that can barely keep the mask on aboht how much they despise a majority of the population #by majority I mean the total of people queer. non-white. poor. immigrant. or simply not Republican)

[wild-at-mind]

Listened to the podcast series 'Eight years hard Labour' which is about the Corbyn years of Labour, and they talk a lot about the Labour party internal divide- there was the internal right wing, who were more like centrists, and the internal left wing, which was the Corbyn side. To tell you where I stand on this man: I voted for Labour, and therefore Corbyn, in both the 2017 and 2019 elections but was absolutely not part of his cult of personality, and I found it disturbing how devoted people got so quickly. Mainly the leftist queer people section of my social circle were doing a LOT of facebook meme posting in the run up to particularly the 2019 election. I could literally look down my feed and see a very long, very detailed defense of how Corbyn could not possibly be even the teeniest bit antisemitic, and below that a different Corbyn devotee would be proclaiming that the only reason Jewish Brits would not vote for Corbyn was because they were all too wealthy. I mean....what more conclusion could I possibly draw from that?? I do not care to get caught in the weeds of whether Corbyn knew what was in the fucking mural or not before saying it shouldn't have been removed, and I know the tabloids really did do plenty of smear jobs on him, but the fact that I could see his devoted supporters becoming antisemitic before my eyes was incredibly damning and was all I needed really. Anyway, obviously Corbyn lost the 2019 election by a massive amount and it was a surprise to literally no one except Corbyn's fans who had been in social media meme echo chambers the whole time. Corbyn left the Labour party and now we have Starmer who leaves a lot to be desired, but is still the head of the most left wing mainstream party. But it made me think- what hope is there for left wing politics in the UK? Can we ever hope for a hard left of the left leaning party that doesn't go off in these weird antisemitic, Putin defending directions? (Oh god...imagine Corbyn being PM during the Ukraine war. :S) Do we always have to settle for centrism just to be on the left of the Tories? We have had leftist governments in our history that brought in genuine social change, the formation of the NHS being the biggest example, so it is possible, but why are things so right wing now, and for so long, especially while things are so objectively shitty for so many people? I don't expect anyone has any answers but I want to hope for better. There are massive limitations to party politics, but I'm not an anarchist and I do think running the country is a job someone has to do. I don't know how to make things better, I just know that genuine compassion for all people is needed in order to do it, not just some people, and I don't know if hard left conspiracy types can ever feel that for people they consider their enemy.

#uk politics #i'm just rambling #btw i did comment on both the corbyn defense screed and the 'jews are all rich' screed (2nd one unfriended also) #1st one i said maybe with the same effort someone made in making this long defense corbyn should put that effort into #meeting Jewish populations in the uk and reassuring them! The person posting it was even like '...oh yeah he probably should shouldn't he' #the corbyn campaign in 2019 was a mess anyway which the podcast goes into in more detail #btw the putin defending part comes from Corbyn's response to the poisoning of the Skripals #he said there was no reason to think it was russia and also said we should send the nerve agent to russia for testing #i'm not saying we should be like 'omg red scare russia is attacking!!!!' but there was evidence to suggest it was putin #which only became more clear- not to mention the accidental death of Dawn Sturgess which happened not long after as a consequence #genuinely so fucked up! this all happened in my hometown and the surrounding area so it's particularly close to home #Corbyn just reacted super weirdly to the whole thing- he was the leader of the labour party but behaving like an online commentator #which i assume is a plus for some and a minus for most #i've tried joining a local socialist group twice now and they are pushing for a socialist party in government #but it's all super corbyn-y vibes with them- i swear it takes very little for them to start ranting about how corbyn was smeared or w/e #like...can we move on from this please!!! #and lessons learned- forget it! #anyway i'm done rambling now.