chewingbatmanlikeasqueakytoy

[chewingbatmanlikeasqueakytoy]

Don't know why but I kind of want to use that one scene from Prince of Egypt where the Nile turns into blood with like the Lazarus pits turning the blood after the Giw kidnapped Danny like the pits and Lazarus Island are just turning into dark red blood and we'll be like this until Danny's returned back as their King like every place that has like a high level of death energy now has things turn into like locus or like ancient curses until Danny's returned

Also every ghost acting like a feral monster cuz the king is gone and that means they're stableness is gone with the King

Oh interesting.

The world was in chaos. No one knew what had caused the change. But suddenly supernatural entities and forces everywhere were causing chaos. Batman had been in the cave when the Lazarus Pit turned blood red. Shortly after he heard reports from Crime Alley. Hood had flown into the worst murderous rampage yet. The two incidents were clearly linked. He is to sedate Hood to stop his rampage. H was currently in an induced coma.

Jason was hardly the only one affected. Everyone he knew that had been revived by the pits? Were more angry, rash, prone to violence. Talia had called as well. Every put under the control I the LoA? Were affected the same way. Then he got the calls from Constantine and other members of JLD. Ghosts everywhere were causing massive amounts of damage. To both people and property.

Any people who were sensitive to death magic? Were either angry, depressed or in pain. Something he happened. But they were at a loss as to what. The fact they were compromised wasn't helping. He could feel his control sipping the longer this went on. Robin had been benched. He was currently far too likely to cause damage.

Then they found the starting clue. A city in Illinois was under constant attack by ghosts. Amity Park had been evacuated now for the most part. One facility seemed to be the focus of the attacks. Whatever was causing this? Was likely being held there. The government was being obstructionist at best. And with their collective patience being stretched to the limit? That wasn't going to keep them out of that facility.

#dpxdc #dcxdp #GIW fucks up #Tasty

[chewingbatmanlikeasqueakytoy]

A Favor for a Gift

Danny's new to the superhero scene, and he gets on rather well with Martian Manhunter.

He decides to give J'onn a gift, because he came across J'onn in a melancholy mood, and the Martian explained that he was homesick. Danny learned a lot about Mars and Martian culture, after telling him that he could vent to Danny if he wanted, and wants to do a little something to help J'onn out.

He goes to the Zone, searching for Martian ghosts to talk with. He finds Ghostwriter. Or rather, Ghostwriter finds him.

He proposes a deal.

He'll let Danny have two very old, very rare Martian books; but in exchange, Danny owes him. Big Time.

Danny....asks what the favor would be, cuz he's not about to agree to that without knowing what he's agreeing to.

Ghostwriter needs Danny to go enter into a Ghost Fighting Competition, the biggest in the Zone, because the prize is a book that not only does Ghostwriter not have, but the only copy of it's kind ever.

Danny agrees; he kicks ghost ass all the time, a fighting competition shouldn't be a problem. Pff. He'll be fine.

Okay he's a little nervous.

He pushes it down.

He gets one of the books early, as trade for even entering the competition in the first place, and rushes to give it to J'onn.

He's trying to psych himself up for the fight, but his intrusive thoughts keep making him remember the fights he's lost. He's just not good with stage fright! Fighting as a hero is one thing, but fighting in a competition is nervewracking!

~~~~

J'onn, getting a surface read of Phantom's mind, is concerned.

Due to Phantom being dead, not all of his thoughts are...legible. J'onn only gets flashes here or there, maybe emotions.

J'onn just got a flash of a coliseum, with stands filled to the brim, and another flash of Phantom losing in a fight.

Phantom is nervous.

Phantom, who's powers are so strong he can fight on equal footing with Superman, is nervous.

It is not the normal anxiety he can feel from the young ghost, it is something else.

Phantom tells him that he knows where another book is, he just needs to win it.

J'onn has heard of how Vicious Infinite Realms Ghosts can be, and it is reasonable to assume that Phantom being nervous is a direct result of a fight he knows he can't win.

A fight he's going to try to win anyways. For the sake of a book.

Phantom is worth more than a simple book.

Phantom disappears before J'onn can request that he not do that, leaving the Martian standing there with a book older than he is, with the knowledge that one of his friends is about to face...something. Some sort of danger.

And all J'onn can do is wait.

Naturally, he refuses to do that and calls the JLD to track down Phantom.

#dpxdc #Royal rumble au #YESSSS #THATS ADORABLE

[chewingbatmanlikeasqueakytoy]

“Well of course there’s the basic power set that almost the entire species has, y’know, flight, invisibility, intangibility, being able to sense when another one of our species is near, enchanted strength and hearing, an incredibly fast healing factor to anything injuries not made by our own species or specifically made to harm us, being able to speak and understand ghost speak and any other dead languages, not needing to breathe and in most cases (but not mine) this applies to most other human needs. And then there are the more unique powers which I have and (depending on the power) others have too, like being able to withstand sub-zero temperatures, ectoblasts, ice, telekinesis, ghostly wail, being able to open portals to the infinite realms, basic shapeshifting or at least being able to change my body proportions and bones- you look scared, do, do you want me to keep going?”

“”

“What?”

“Dude, that is like, Kryptonian levels of power.”

“More actually, we did a test.”

“You’ve fought Superman?!”

“There was a brief incident with Pariah Dark. Superman lost the incident.”

“But you said that Pariah Dark was the ghost king so that isn’t fair for the entire species let alone you right, you said you were the equivalent of a newborn in age standards.”

“I beat Pariah Dark.”

“You are a scary level of powerful.”

[chewingbatmanlikeasqueakytoy]

Sometimes tumblr really does just love to eat the things people are producing and honestly it is very confusing, if you're willing I'd love to hear what you have to say though, you're insights and ideas have been extremely fun and well thought out!

Honestly I Love APPS though, that sounds so properly official, like a real government branch that could actually be a thing, its also very cool that they somehow sound like a cross between secretaries and secret agents tbh

Why doesn't the justice league know about Amity Park?

Okay so it's been a bit sonce I watched the show but one of the things in DpxDC is the anti-ecto acts, which I love, but correct me if I'm wrong, I THINK ??? they only show up in reality trip? SO: What if Danny, when using the gauntlet to undo everything, also got rid of the Anti-Ecto acts? but this is babys first time editing reality so he uh Fucks Up A Lil'. As a result when Danny used the reality gauntlet to wipe the AEA from existence he accidentally wiped Amity Park from perception. A big 'nothing matters over here' jedi mind trick, and now no ones looking at Amity. So, the Justice League actually WERE looking into and monitoring the situation in Amity, but when the perception filter closed them off, all of that suddenly went ignored.

This is noticed when someone (Alfred, Dick, Tim, literally anyone) realises theres just. A BIG dusty pile of case files semi abandoned somewhere in the cave when going through a (time period)ly cave cleaning.

They put it down because it's Not Important.

They come back to finish the cleaning the next day and do the exact same thing, but there's nothing to actually distract them this time and it pings as weird. Because why would case files be not important? They are by definition important, because only things flagged as important go into case files.

They try to get someone else to read it, because as long as they don't read the information in the file, they don't put it down.

That person goes to read it, gets a line in and then says something like 'that isn't important' and goes to leave. Person A pushes it and person B ALSO catches on.

Que the Batfam trying to figure out hey, what the fuck actually?

Meanwhile, how is Amity fairing? Canon compliant everything's going alright? Or have knock on effects to No One Look Here started to show?

#long post #tumblr demanded its sacrificial post

[chewingbatmanlikeasqueakytoy]

Punt

Change a single letter and change the word game

I want to play a game with you all.

You have to make a new word by changing only one letter of the last word.

Dirt

#irritatingly i cant move what blog this is on #so it stays on the batman blog oops

[chewingbatmanlikeasqueakytoy]

I SWEAR THIS FUCKING MAN RIGHT HERE

dudes be like the alien guy was hot so pinned him to the fucking floor

[chewingbatmanlikeasqueakytoy]

Alfred, remembering what a little terror Bruce was: Nor I, Sir.

I'm golden-child!Jason and not-even-a-silver-egg!Dick truther for life, and that's so funny.

Bruce is used to the chaos he calls his son, so when Jason actually behave, Bruce is soooo confused.

Like, what do you mean Bruce can tell him to not do something and Jason will??? Obey??? The order??? Dick would never.

Bruce, fully prepared for scandal: You are not allowed to jump from one wardrobe to another, it's dangerous for you.

Little Jason, who has no idea why he should: Ok? I wasn't planning to anyway.

Confused Bruce: You wasn't?

Little Jason who are scared to touch anything here, because it probably costs more than his life: I don't want to ruin the mansion...

More Confused Bruce: You don't?!

Or 

Bruce: so, you are saying that if I tell you to sit in your room and read books, you will really sit in your room and read books?

Little Jason, who has no idea why he shouldn't: Yeah?

Bruce, whispering to Alfred: I didn't know they could do that.

#batfamily #alfred pennyworth #batman #robin #bruce Wayne #dick grayson #jason todd #batfam

[chewingbatmanlikeasqueakytoy]

There are currently ~2300 works in AO3 tagged with "Created Using Generative AI"

I'll be upfront with my opinion, which mirrors my opinion in regards to my field: using AI will only hasten your own obsolescence. The point of fanfiction is not to crank out fics, but rather to enjoy the hobby and communities of writing and fandom.

[chewingbatmanlikeasqueakytoy]

I refuse to let boring, toothless fanon/Cass win, so here is a non-comprehensive list of actual things Cassandra Cain has canonically done: -conquered and lived amongst a pack of wolves -eaten (among other things) the contents of a Gotham City dumpster, a raw cow carcass and the flesh of at least one interdimensional demon -brought down Two-Face's crime ring by stealing all his coins so he couldn't make any decisions -stabbed Rose Wilson in the throat to checkmate Deathstroke -played a game of chicken against Batman, in jets, and WON -broke Stephanie Brown's jaw for trying to stop her digging up a corpse -stopped a murderer's heart for several seconds as a teachable moment -broke the Joker out of Arkham just to kick his ass -threw Dick Grayson out a window for hurting Barbara's feelings

#okay but objectively stealing all of two faces coins is by far the funniest of these #imagine her shaking the bag at him threateningly #like #“well all the coins just flipped so guess you have to do EVERYHING IMMEMDIATELY”

[chewingbatmanlikeasqueakytoy]

When Maddie gave birth to Danny, she gave birth to twins. Unfortunately, one of the nurses didn't think she and Jack were parents material, and faked one of the twins deaths.

It was simple. There was another couple, both who had black hair and blue eyes, who had given birth to a stillborn the other doctors had taken away to attempt to resuscitate. They hadn't succeeded, and they were trying to steady themselves to tell the parents.

One John and Mary Grayson.

The nurse just...waited until the area was clear. All she needed was two minutes, maybe less. She might not have been able to save one of the twins, but this one she could save from being raised by a madwoman.

She swapped the babies.

She then came back with the stillborn and told the Fenton's it was one of the twins, happy and satisfied that she'd saved at least one of them.

John and Mary Grayson were told that their son had started breathing on his own, and that it was a miracle.

No one knew anything, because no one thought to look for anything. The doctors were so relieved that little Richard Grayson was not only alive, but had no neurological complications from lack of oxygen, that they didn't look into it. The Doctors that attended the Fentons were so relieved that the other twin hadn't fallen to SIDS that they, too, did not look into it.

No one told Danny that he'd had a twin in the womb. It didn't seem relevant.

One day, many years later, Dick decides to take an Ancestry test to see how many relatives he has.

John and Mary Grayson are not in the results at all.

#infant death #sids #sudden infant death syndrome #kidnapping #swapped at birth #edited to add tags

[chewingbatmanlikeasqueakytoy]

It's Danny's first time doing his taxes, and he's reaching out to an online friend to help him. This is how he discovers that as far as the rest of the world is concerned, Amity Park is a barely contained zombie outbreak.

He'd made an online friend, Bart, and they played video games a lot.

Danny's fulltime job is inventing alongside his parents, and as that makes him self-employed (he doesn't work for his parents just next to them), this makes his taxes a little...scary. And it's his first tax season.

He reaches out to Bart, and asks if he knows anyone who files as self employed and if they'd be able to give him some guidance.

He can't ask his parents because, apparently, they've just been throwing random numbers on the papers and have no interest in actually doing them. Danny would like to do this properly.

Also he would like to know how his parents haven't been arrested? Questions for later.

So he shoots a message to Bart, who's apparently in the middle of some sort of sleepover with all of his old friends. Bart assures him that it's fine, and they'll all pitch in to help.

They just need to know his city and state so that the nerd of the group, some guy named Tim, can look up local state and city tax law.

When he tells them he's from Amity Park, there's no response for a good ten minutes.

What follows is a barely legible request for a phone number to call, and a group of people on the other side shouting and asking how he's avoided dying in the hellscape zombie apocalypse that is Amity Park.

Danny has no idea what the other shit means, but he's not about to dodge a chance to make a dead joke when he has one.

"I mean. If you wanna get technical, I didn't. Is...that something that'll effect my taxes?"

OR: The GIW has been lying to keep the Justice League and Justice League Dark out of Amity Park by declaring it a Disaster Zone, stating that not only is there massive pollutants in the air and soil, but that the undead run rampant and are barely contained. The wording they use, however, is a little weird upon closer inspection. It never specifies zombie, and it never says what pollutants. Danny's not super interested about that, though; he just wants to pay his taxes so that the IRS doesn't kill him in his sleep.

[chewingbatmanlikeasqueakytoy]

DC X DP PROMPT #4

Danny was one of the people hired to design/build the Watchtower. He got attached to it during this time and the space station is now considered as a part of his haunt.

This is the JLD's first time on the Watchtower, they IMMEDIATLY know what's up.

LJD: did you take a supernatural entities property or something?

LD: what? No! The lights are just like that :)

Danny, still employed on the Watchtower: Space go brrr

[chewingbatmanlikeasqueakytoy]

I feel like this SEVERELY deserves a poll, voting for the least or most normal or more like, everyone has to pick a dish they ACTUALLY eat

Just ooc to see which one of these people eat the most regularly

Batfam's favorite weird food combinations

Dick: *pours orange juice in cereal*

Bette: *cooks oatmeal with egg whites*

Cass: *puts whipped cream in soda*

Jason: *melts chocolate onto bacon*

Steph: *dusts fries with powdered sugar*

Cullen: *eats pickles with peanut butter*

Harper: *spreads the same peanut butter on a burger*

Helena: *wraps melon slices in prosciutto*

Tim: *slathers pizza in ranch*

Luke: *makes tuna salad with fruits*

Damian: *drizzles olive oil on ice cream*

Carrie: *adds chips to a PB&J*

Kate: *sprinkles sugar on tomatoes*

Duke: *buys chili with a cinnamon roll*

Barbara: *dips strawberries in balsamic vinegar*

Selina: *stirs butter into her coffee*

Bruce: *grates cheese on top of apple pie*

Alfred, offended: Who raised you all?

Alfred: *opens a can of beans with his toast*

#its beans on toast #beans on toast is delicious #i honestly dont understand why people are so gorrified by it #especially with grated cheese over the top

[chewingbatmanlikeasqueakytoy]

What if Janet went into Labor with Tim during a Wayne gala and Bruce helped deliver him, but Bruce didn’t realize Tim was the same baby

Until a random stakeout/confrontation with a villain/league meeting, he remembers suddenly and just straight up goes

“I birthed you”

He then starts to think back to all the other women he helped and like...

– Teenage Bruce stopping in the middle of his day to help Mary Grayson call the hospital when her water breaks in public

– His first test of people skills as Batman is looking after Sandra Wu-San, not knowing she'd become Lady Shiva

– A short while later Batman does the same for Sheila Haywood because Willis didn't bother to show up

– Arthur Brown being too absorbed in his scandals and early scheming to be present so Batman swoops in for Crystal

– Then Janet Drake going into labor at a Wayne gala and Bruce helping her through that

– Couple years later, Batman keeping Elaine Thomas company in the twilight hours

– He stops to help Talia amidst a dangerous battle, not knowing the baby is his and her maintaining the secret

– He gets sidetracked on a time travel mission and assists a stranger, not realizing it's Mary Pennyworth

[chewingbatmanlikeasqueakytoy]

DC X DP PROMPT #16

Mr. Lancer is the brother of Lex Luthor. He never really had an eye for business, or invention, or innovation. He just wanted to be a teacher, spread the good word on literature. Which is the whole reason he had changed his name and moved to the middle of nowhere.

He does not appreciate his brother delivering a package in his door. Not delivering it personally, not even sending a physical person to do a drop off. Just a measly note.

'hold onto this for me - L.L.'

What has Lex ever done for him? Nothing, that's what. So Mr. Lancer does the sensible thing. He opens the box to investigate to find - hardened ectoplasm?

Mr. Lancer knows about Danny and co. Au where Kryptonite is just hardened Ecto and is basically rock candy. Lex sends his brother a shit ton of kryptonite for safe keeping thinking 'he lives in the middle of nowhere what's he gonna do with it?' he feeds it to Danny :)

[chewingbatmanlikeasqueakytoy]

Barbara Gordon icons

Please like or reblog if you save <3

[chewingbatmanlikeasqueakytoy]

Witness Protection

There’s a dead guy in the alley and it’s not Danny. 

Ok, technically there are two dead guys in the alley but honestly, Danny feels like they’re way past semantics.

Because, once again, there is a dead man in the alley. 

Danny is fairly sure the guy’s been murdered. The bloody mess that is the guy's chest is a pretty good indicator, but the bloody knife that's still stuck in the guy’s guts is really what makes it for the teen.

Danny might be freaking out a little bit. Because, while he is used to dead people, they’re never this newly deceased, or for that matter, this gruesomely murdered.

Before his breath can quicken too much, Danny makes himself take a deep breath. 

Say what you want about Danny, but he hasn’t spent his high-school career moonlighting as a teenage vigilante without learning a thing or two about staving off a panic attack. Feeling more calm, Danny focuses back on the issue at hand.

I should call the police, says something in the back of his head that sounds like Jazz.

If I call in the murder I’ll be on the suspect list, retorts some other part of his brain he’s choosing to call the Sam part.

No advice from an imaginary Tuck though. Even in his own mind he can’t imagine a Tucker that hasn’t already passed out cold at the sight of a dead guy. 

Which, fair. Danny is kinda considering the option, as he’s feeling a little faint himself. It is way past time he got out of here. At least he's figured out just how to do it.

Anonymous tips are a wonderful thing, made all the more wonderful by the presence of payphones in Gotham.Danny is officially handing this off to the proper authorities.

Boy is he glad he doesn’t have to be involved anymore.

A few streets over, a hooded figure rounds a corner, their breath coming fast  as they clench their bloody fists agitadely. There wasn’t supposed to be anyone there, and yet. This is an unexpected setback.

The hooded figure leans back against the alley wall to catch their breath. Nothing to do about it but fix it. And as these things go, this is an easy mistake to fix. The face of the black-haired blue-eyed hurdle floats to the front of their mind. 

It should be child’s play.