#fic: ‘till our wide eyes burn blind | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sxngshine · 3 years

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Siren

Request: AU: supernatural au! (surprise me) Trope: unrequited love, Prompt: "Sometimes I sit in bed and wonder what would happen if things were different" [you don't have to do this if you don't like- but I thought it would be fun to submit an entry😅]

Captain!Felix x Sea Creature!Reader

Word count: 3.5k (idk wtf happened lol)

Warnings: Kinda angsty(I suck at angst though so idk if it'll be sad or not 😭), mentions of blood and death.

Description: In which Captain Felix sails a new course unfamiliar in order to return back home, only to enter the territory of someone who’s been eyeing him the moment she sees his ship.

A/N: I’m not sure if the terms I’m using are correct or if anything I’m talking about concerning manning a ship is correct or not, pls forgive me if it’s incorrect but for the sake of this fic we’re gonna pretend it’s right lmao. Also! Our lovely reader will also be played around with cause she was gonna be a siren but like not a siren if ya catch my drift. I'm not as happy with this as I wish i was but that's Okay.

happy reading!!

“Get up everyone! We got a long day ahead of us,” Felix yelled as he walked out of his cabin. The sun had barely risen but Felix was determined to leave as soon as possible so that they stayed ahead of schedule.

The crew slowly rose from their hammocks while the rest trudged out of the crew's cabins, all groaning because of how early it was. The quartermaster, Chan walked up to Felix.

“Morning cap’,” Chan yawned, throwing an arm over Felix’s shoulder. Felix grunted and gave Chan a distasteful look. “No one’s around Hyung, don’t call me cap’.” The shorter blonde pushed Chans' arm off him and walked up to the quarterdeck. All of Felix’s men were to address him as Captain or Sir, but since Felix had known Chan since they were kids, he preferred to be called by his first name when they were alone.

Most of the crew was already on the main deck, getting themselves ready for the day and eating breakfast. Felix walked up the edge of the deck and let out a loud whistle, catching the attention of all the men.

“Rise and shine everyone! We set sail for Korea in 30 so hustle! We still got crates waiting to be loaded!” Felix instructed and was answered by a loud “Yes sir!!!”. He then called over Minho, the ship's helmsman to discuss the route they were taking. Chan clapped Minho on the back before and messed up Felix's hair (much to Felix's dissatisfaction) before he left to supervise the main deck.

By the time everything was loaded and ready, the route was set and everyone was working to sail the ship out to sea once again.

“Captain!” I.N yelled from his position in the nest. Felix poked his head out to see who called him, his attention turning to the boy who was sliding down the rope from the nest and running towards him. “There's a storm up ahead! And it looks like a nasty one,” the boy reported. Felix took out his telescope, and just as I.N said, there was a dark grey cloud heading their way.

There was no way they could go back right now, but it was too risky to try and ride out the storm. Felix walked up to where Minho was steering the ship, looking at the map beside him. “We’ll need to take a detour, are we near any land?” Felix asked, running a hand through his hair. He was positive that the weather wouldn’t be bad for the next few days.

“There should be some land northeast from where we are. But we’ll have to take another route home if we break course right now.” Minho explained and Felix sighed. “Very well,” he turned to Chan who overheard the conversation, giving him the signal. Chan nodded and ordered all the men to get into position, everyone working in sync to turn the ship.

It took a good hour of sailing for them to find land. “LAND AHOY!” I.N yelled from the nest, pointing to where a small island was. Felix was confused, there weren’t any islands on the map where they were. But his confusion turned into relief once they docked the ship. He had been worried for a while, thinking that they broke off the initial course only to not be able to find any land.

The island looked like it had been untouched, which made Felix suspicious, but he moved it to the back of his head for now. “Listen up men! We’ll stay here for the night till the storm passes. Rest up cause we’ll be leaving first thing in the morning.” Felix called over Chan, Hyunjin, and Changbin, the 3 men walking up to him.

“You three will come with me, we’re going to see if there’s anyone else around here.” He explained and began to walk into the forest of trees. “MINHO AND JISUNG! You guys are in charge till we’re back.” Felix called, continuing when he heard a faint yes sir.

The four boys walked deeper into the dense forest, looking for any sign of human life. Suddenly, the four boys stopped when Felix heard a voice. “Did you guys hear that?” he asked, looking around. The other three looked at each other and shook their heads.

Felix could’ve sworn that he heard a voice, but he figured it was nothing and carried on. Felix was walking in front of the others looking around but in the end, nothing was found. However, they managed to find some fruit and snagged some on the way back. Felix still couldn't stop thinking about that voice he heard. It almost sounded like someone was singing, and Felix couldn't deny that although it was really faint it sounded beautiful, almost like it was calling out to him.

Felix was snapped back into reality when he saw Minho and Jisung holding back one of the crewmates from possibly beating the other that was on the ground into a pulp. Felix sighed, groaning internally.

‘You two had only one job...’

Night had fallen over the island and Felix was glad that they decided to take a detour, there was no way they’d be able to survive this storm if they were still at sea. Felix was lying down on his bed wondering where that voice could’ve come from. He didn’t understand why he was so curious, but there was something about what he heard that kept him wanting to check it out. Having had enough, Felix got up and put his coat on, quietly walking out of his cabin into the pouring rain and ran down the ship into the thick forest.

When Felix was in deep enough, the rain had practically stopped, only coming down in little droplets. Felix took the same route he did just hours ago, but this time instead of a smooth path, Felix found himself walking normally one second and then the ground disappearing beneath him the next.

He went sliding and tumbling down a rocky ground, managing to grab onto a tree root that thankfully stopped him from falling off the ledge he was now dangling off of. Felix quickly pushed himself up and sat down, groaning in pain. Then he suddenly heard the most beautiful voice singing.

I've been watchin' you for some time

Can't stop starin' at those ocean eyes~

Ignoring the throbbing in his body, Felix stood up and began to make his way down the ledge, blindly following the voice until he was in a large open cave, lit by beautiful shining crystals.

Burning cities and napalm skies

Fifteen flares inside those ocean eyes~

Felix’s head snapped in front of him, eyes widening when he saw what looked to be a woman sitting on a rock that was surrounded by a pool of water. She looked almost ethereal sitting there, combing her luscious dark brown locks that cascading down her back.

Your ocean eyes~

The woman turned towards Felix, motioning for him to come closer with her long delicate fingers. She had large innocent-looking eyes, a cute little nose, and plump pink lips. By this point, Felix thought he fell in love at first sight. He slowly walked towards her, stopping when his eyes went lower to where her legs should’ve been. Instead, he was met with a green scaly tail. But rather than being scared, he was more curious. The woman looked confused when she saw that Felix stopped. Seconds later, the woman was jumping into the pool, and before Felix could even blink she was floating by his feet.

“Hello there,” Felix greeted the half woman half creature, crouching down to her level. He noticed that the water looked very shallow, but by the way the mermaid looking creature dived into the water, he was positive that wasn’t the case. “What’s your name?” he asked, hoping to get an answer.

The woman stared at him dumbfounded, slightly startled by his deep voice before answering. “Y/n,”

Felix smiled, glad that he got an answer. “Are you a mermaid?” Y/n snorted when she heard that, shaking her head. “Those stuck-up wannabes don't live around here,” she said, resting her cheek on her hand as she examined the boy before her. “Then what’re you?”

Y/n ignored his question, instead asking him a question. “Shall I sing you a song?” she asked. Felix wanted to ask why she wouldn’t answer him but then he found himself nodding instead. Y/n began singing once again.

I've been walkin' through a world gone blind

Can't stop thinkin' of your diamond mind

Y/n reached for Felix’s hand, which he allowed her to take, too entranced by her voice to care.

Careful creature made friends with time

Y/n tugged at his hand, lowering his head till their faces were inches apart.

He left her lonely with a diamond mind

She snaked a hand around Felix's neck, pressing her lips against his, kissing the boy softly. Felix instantly reacted, kissing her back. When Y/n was sure he was distracted, she lifted her other hand, fingers turning into sharp claws. Felix deepened the kiss, holding Y/n’s jaw in his hand and sliding his tongue into her mouth. Y/n was glad, this boy was going to be a piece of cake.

She brought her hand down, ready to kill the boy in front of her but what caught her off guard was when Felix grabbed her wrist with his free hand. Y/n froze, but Felix continued to kiss her as if it was nothing. When he pulled away, Y/n stared at him with wide eyes. Felix stared back into her what he now noticed were dull eyes, but he managed to catch a hint of guilt in them.

“Not today sweetheart,” Felix whispered, deep voice slightly raspy. Y/n couldn’t understand why he was able to react so quickly. She’d killed many men within minutes of meeting them, but for some reason, she just couldn't seem to kill Felix.

Chills ran down Y/ns back when she heard the pet name roll off his tongue. She switched to her last resort, gripping onto his neck and pulling him into the deep water.

Felix struggled to remove her grip from his shoulders, trying his best to remain calm. Y/n stuck her sharp claws into his shoulders, causing the deep blue water to turn a deep red. When she was sure that Felix was dead, a few tears left her eyes.

And those ocean eyes…

Y/n removed her claws from the now dead body, watching as he came afloat, still and unmoving. A sob left her mouth, more tears falling. It happened every time she killed someone, Y/n would start sobbing like crazy, shaking and afraid. She pulled the body out of the water, laying him onto the ground, and ran her fingers through his blonde hair. He was handsome from what Y/n could tell from behind her tears. The freckles splattered all over his face. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered, laying her head on his chest.

“I don't have anything against you… but if I didn't do this then they’d come and kill you instead. It would’ve been pure torture to be killed by them. This was the only way to save you.” Y/n said, propping her head up using her elbow, she traced the boy's lips. “It’s a shame I never got your name. I bet it would’ve been pretty like you,” she whispered, leaning down to press one final kiss to the boys' lips before she discarded the body. What she didn’t expect though, was for the boy to kiss her back.

She pulled away and shrieked, moving as far away as she could from the body. “Y'know, it’s not nice to kiss someone the way you did and then try to kill them.” Felix rasped, turning to the side so he could cough up some water. Y/n's eyes filled with tears and she covered her mouth. “H-how’re you still alive? You just d-died,” she stuttered.

“You must’ve killed most people the first time only, cause the third time really wasn’t the charm.” Felix chuckled. Y/n stayed silent, shocked because how could he be laughing and acting like she didn't just almost kill him. “Nonononono you’re supposed to be dead. They’ll sniff you out and it’ll be the end of the both of us why didn't you just die-” y/n mumbled and began to shake.

Felix noticed her shock, sitting up and scooting closer to her. Y/n’s mumbles seized when he pulled her into a hug, whispering sweet nothings and reassurances about how he’ll protect them both.

Felix pulled away and placed a finger under her chin, forcing her to look up at him. “Hear me out..” he said quietly. Other than the dull burn all over his body, Felix's chest had tightened the moment he heard the cries of the creature in front of him and it warmed when he heard her laugh. Not to mention the flutter and increase of his heart rate when they kissed.

“I love you,” Y/n stared at the boy in front of her like he was crazy. “I know for a fact what love is, and what it’s like to be in love. I can tell you 100% what I feel for you right now is love,” Felix tried to convince her.

Y/n scoffed, pushing the boy off her, but he wasn't through yet. “You’re out of your mind.”

“I am, but that's not the point here.” Felix countered, holding tightly onto her hand. “Please just give me a chance-” he tried to say but he was cut off.

“STOP! Do you hear yourself?? I don’t even know your name-” Y/n said but then was also cut off. “It’s Felix,” he answered.

“Well FELIX, you’re clearly out of your mind. Look at me, I’m a goddamn monster. I’m not capable of feeling love or being loved.”

“Yes, you are! I know you love me too! I heard you crying and everything you said before you kissed me again. I know you didn't want to and you did it with good intentions. Please Y/n, we both love each other we-”

“FELIX! You know nothing. I don't love you and you don't love me either. I didn't say anything after drowning you and I kiss all my victims after they die. It’s my goodbye to them and then I throw their bodies away. You were no different.” Y/n was about done with Felix, why couldn’t he get the message?

“I know I was, cause if you didn’t have any feelings towards me then you would’ve killed me by now. I’d be long gone yet here I am. I don't care about whoever you said is trying to kill me, I can protect myself and I’ll protect you too. I promi-” Y/n gasped, covering her mouth as she sat frozen in place.

“You heard that? Nononono this just makes everything worse they-” Y/n tried to say but then her eyes began to glow a bright blue and her brown hair was now as deep blue as the water sitting beside them.

Felix stared and her frozen position, about to shake her out of worry but then she was back to normal right after.

“They’re coming.” was all she said. Felix saw the change of y/ns mood. She looked like she had given up. Her eyes were duller than before if that was even possible. Her shoulders were slumped. She looked Felix in the eyes and he froze, she looked like she was dead inside.

“Who’s coming back-” Felix would’ve finished his sentence if it wasn’t for the big rock y/n threw straight at his head, knocking him out. Felix’s eyes rolled to the back of his head and he fell to his side, staring at Y/n as black spots began to take over his line of sight. “Please... Y/...n.” and with that Felix was out like a light.

“He’s waking up!” “Get more water and ice!”

Felix heard faint voices yell. He opened his eyes slowly only to be met by the concerned face of none other than Chan.

‘Wait… Chan??’

Felix suddenly shot up, looking around. He was in his cabin, Chan, and Minho sitting by the side of his bed. “Nononono where’s Y/n?!” He asked frantically, trying to get out of bed but Chan stopped him.

“Woah there bud, take it easy. Who’s Y/n?” Chan asked calmly.

“What happened? How did I get here?” Felix screamed, tears forming in his eyes.

“When we woke up you weren’t in your room so we assumed you went out, but then we saw you lying face down in the water and you were all bruised and beaten looking. So here you are now.” Minho explained. “Now don't you think we deserve to know what the hell happened to you? You’re the most skilled person out of all the men we have, so how the hell did you end up like this?”

Felix opened his mouth to explain but then he felt a sudden rocking underneath him. “Did we start sailing again?” he asked, feeling a sudden panic arise in him. Chan nodded and pointed outside. “We set sail just a few minutes ago.”

Felix used all his might to push Chan and Minho out of the way and ran out of his cabin, rushing up to the quarterdeck and crying out when he saw the island was growing smaller by the minute.

He stared dejectedly at the island which was now just a dot in the distance. Felix saw something move in the distance and when he squinted he saw the luscious Brown locks he could never forget. “Y/n? Y/N!!!!” He yelled. She smiled sadly at him and waved, then 6 other creatures emerged and no matter how much she tried to fight them off, they had pulled her under.

“Y/N NOOOOO!” Felix cried, falling to his knees. It didn't matter to him that he fell in love with someone at first sight; what did matter though, was that the person who managed to take his heart in one night also managed to crush it not even a few hours later.

3 years later.

Felix and his crew had set sail once again for another voyage. This time setting course for the United States. Night had fallen once again but Felix wasn’t sleeping. He sat where he did every day for the past 3 years during the night at the very back of the ship where he last saw Y/n, hoping that he’d see her again someday. Even to this day, he waited and waited.

“You waiting for her again?” A voice asked from behind him. Felix nodded at the Aussie who threw an arm around his best friend.

“Y'know, I don't know if I ever told you this but, Sometimes I sit in bed and wonder what would happen if things were different. What if she was human? Or whoever tried to kill her didn't exist. What if I was like her? We could’ve been together if that was the case,” Feliz sighed, running a hand through his hair. Even to this day, he still remembered how heavenly her hand felt running through his hair, how soft her lips felt against his, how cold yet comforting her skin was.

“Maybe in another life, you two will end up together.” Chan comforted his friend.

“Maybe...” Felix agreed.

600 years later

“Felix hurry up! We’re gonna be late again!!” Chan yelled from the kitchen. Felix practically flew downstairs on one foot as he attempted to put a shoe on the other. “Let's go! We have 10 more minutes!”

Both boys rushed to Chan's car and drove to their university in record time. They ran as fast as they could and were halfway to class when Felix realized he left his book in Chan's car.

“Chan, I left my textbook in your car!” Felix groaned. Chan smacked him upside the head and threw him his keys, running to class while thinking of good ways to distract their professor.

Felix ran back to Chan's car and grabbed his textbook. When he was running back towards the building, he being the idiot he is, ran into someone and fell back onto his butt. The person in front of him held their hand out which he gladly took. He stood up and finally looked at the person he bumped into. She was really pretty, with large innocent looking eyes, a cute little nose, and plump pink lips. But there was something about her eyes that was really dull like they had lost the light in them. “You okay?” she asked.

Something about her voice sounded so alluring to Felix but he couldn’t pin why. “Oh-UH yes! Yea I’m okay, sorry for bumping into you,” Felix apologized. “It’s fine,” the brunette said before turning and walking towards the building. Felix followed her and decided to introduce himself.

“My name’s Felix, What's yours?”

“Y/n,”

Fin.

#skz au #skz scenarios #skz fluff #au #bang chan #chanlix #lee felix fluff #felix x reader #Siren au #felix imagines #felix angst #skz fanfic #skz smut #stray kids smut #stray kids fluff #stray kids imagines #straykids #stray kids angst

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keelywolfe · 4 years

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FIC: The Rose and the Thorn: Chapter 15 (Mafia AU)

Summary: What new trouble has our pretty flower shop boy gotten into?

Tags: Spicyhoney, Cherryberry, Mafia AU, Flower Shop AU, Violence, First Meetings

Warning: Warnings for implications of prostitution.

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Read Chapter 15 on AO3

Read it here!

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Rus sagged against the sturdy support of the pole, still panting. He couldn’t look away from Edge, didn’t know the meaning of the emotion that blazed from his eye lights, a sharp contrast to the bland expression on his face. In that moment there was no one but the two of them in the world, the tension strung between them a vibrating wire sending out dangerous volts of electricity.

The sound of a daintily cleared throat jolted Rus from his near trance. Mona was standing on the floor just off the stage and her normally easy smile wavered into uncertainty. She wrapped her arms around herself, seeming for the first time aware of the brevity of her clothing as she tried a faltering laugh, “I s’pose you could say we were having a little fun. Getting in a little practice, is all.”

“Practice. Is that what this is,” Edge said flatly. His size alone made him an imposing figure and his arms crossed over his broad chest only worsened it, hands curled into fists beneath his arms. “You both decided that the best use of our facilities is for him to learn the fine art of shaking his ass for an audience, without even the benefit of a paycheck.”

Mona winced, her false lashes brushing her cheeks as she dropped her unhappy gaze to the floor. Seeing her upset broke that tension and roused Rus’s temper instead. What right did Edge have to come in here and be so cold to Mona when she’d been the one to offer him the most kindness in this place, more even than his own brother?

Rus stormed to the side of the stage, hands braced on his hips as he glared at Edge through the blinding stage lights, “what business is it of yours what i do and who says it won’t be for a paycheck? i think i can decide for myself what i can or can’t do, and i’ll bet mona could teach me plenty of moves worth the price!”

It was the wrong thing to say. He knew it the moment the words hit the air, the way the glowing coals of Edge’s eye lights flared as if doused with gasoline. His stupid mouth, always speaking up without his permission, only this time he was dragging someone else along with him. But he was so sick of this, sick of people telling him what to do and making awful assumptions about him; Edge, his brother, even Red, if everyone was going to assume he was somehow selling his body for money, then perhaps he should while he was still able to set the price.

But he did regret dragging Mona into all this. She shivered, her long ears drooping and her painted lips trembling, but she stepped up bravely, moving to stand between their shared glares. “Sir, it’s my fault, I was the one who suggested it, I—"

“Oh, I highly doubt that,” Edge interrupted smoothly. He stepped to the side and gestured exaggeratedly at the door. “Mona, I believe your shift is starting soon, perhaps you’d like to freshen up before you begin?”

She took a step and hesitated, turning back to give Rus a worried look and Rus suddenly knew if he asked, she’d stay. She’d risk her job, her schooling, risk everything trying to play as a buffer between them. That soft heart of hers was far better suited to being a nurse than trying to protect him and Rus managed a tremulous smile and shook his head, gesturing at the door. ‘go on,’ he mouthed, ‘i’ll be okay.’

He hoped it was true. She gave him a little nod and left, the staccato click of her heels stark on the tile floor. The door closed softly behind her, leaving them alone with the lights that were still flashing overhead, moving over Rus in a brilliant, lingering kaleidoscope.

The silence drew out. Rus could taste the sweat beading on his face, trickles of it running down the sides of his skull, and he was very aware of the bareness of his spine, the exposed curves of his iliac crests. The tightness of his trousers concealed nothing, all the way down to his bare, beribboned feet. How could he not be aware of it with the way Edge’s gaze moved deliberately over him, tracing a downward path, then back up to meet his defiant gaze again.

“Your brother is worried about you," Edge said at last. "According to him, the two of you had a tiff and you ran off into the building. The entire security staff has been looking for you.” He let out a low humorless chuckle. “You’re quite slippery, aren’t you, flower shop, popping in and out of camera view like that, it’s quite a talent. I’m relieved you were intelligent enough not to leave the club, but do imagine my surprise when my brother informed me that not only had they caught sight of you on camera, but that you were taking the opportunity to learn a new trade." Edge’s jaw tightened suddenly and he spoke through his clenched teeth. "Perhaps you'd like to hear Red's assessment on your dancing skills?"

"no." Rus lifted his chin, even as he cursed himself for not thinking that there might be cameras. He could imagine Red’s crude opinion very easily without a reenactment, “i don’t really care to hear a lot of what your brother has to say. Or you, for that matter.”

“Me?” Edge asked, low. He took a step closer and Rus resisted the ridiculous urge to take one backwards. “And what have I done to upset you now, flower shop? I seem to manage it as readily as breathing.”

“you…this!” Rus gestured wildly at the stage. “you’re always telling me what to do! telling me what i feel! i’ve only been here for two days and i can hardly even think, anymore!” He stalked over to the pole and ran a hand down it, the metal gliding against the smooth leather of his glove. “this was my choice, i asked mona to show me how to dance and if this is what i want, you can’t stop me!”

“Can’t I?” Edge said. The silky deliberation of his voice sent an unpleasant shiver down Rus’s spine. “I see, you want to play games, is that it? All right, then.” Edge reached over to push a button on the console and the music began again, a different song, this one slower and sultry. He snagged one of the cushioned chairs and dragged it over, sitting with his hands resting loosely on his spread knees. “Show me what you’ve learned.”

“what?” Rus faltered, letting his hand fall from the pole as he blinked at Edge, his foolish temper cooling. “you…what?”

“Dance for me,” Edge repeated, patiently, “You’re looking for a job, consider this an audition. Show me what you can do.”

“but—" I wasn’t, Rus didn’t say. Not here, anyway, not in this club, and honestly, what was he trying to do? Who was he even upset with, Edge? His brother? He didn’t even know anymore, only that his soul was pounding, the throb of it loud inside his skull. “i…i couldn’t.”

“No?” Edge leaned forward, propping his chin on one hand, his elbow on his knee, “How can you dance for an audience if you can’t dance for me? Half the security team has seen you, my own brother tells me it was quite a show, and you won’t offer it to me?”

Heat rushed into Rus’s cheekbones to think of others crowded around the security cameras watching him, but damn it all, Edge didn’t get to tell him what he could or couldn’t do, no one did, and if he wanted a fucking show, he’d get one. “fine!”

Rus took a grip on the pole again and steadied himself with a long, slow breath, listening to the pulse of the music. The sensuous growl of the woman’s voice moved through the air as vividly as a touch, crooning to her lover.

I'll give it to you slowly, till you're just begging me to hold you…

He let the words embrace him, starting slowly, his hips swaying as he caught the rhythm. His skills were hardly impressive and he knew it; his feet were bare, without the imposing benefit of high heels, sweat was running down his bones, dripping salt-sweet against his tongue when he swung his head around, spinning lightly around the pole. Before, he’d pictured a crowd watching him and now he danced only for Edge, let the knowledge of that gaze upon him move him. His pelvis followed that husky voice, swinging and grinding. He turned his back to the pole, let it brace him as his hands moving over his own bones, skimming down his ribs, fondling teasingly at his iliac crests, lower, tracing a path down his femurs even as he swayed against the support of the pole.

I'll hold you up and drive you all night, I'll hold you up and drive you, baby, till you feel the daylight…

A low growl dragged him from the near trance of the music and Rus faltered, opening his sockets and seeing Edge. He’d nearly expected Edge to be impassive, perhaps even bored; surely he saw better than this all the time, every day there were dozens of dancers right beneath his feet with twice the skill of a clumsy beginner.

Instead, Edge’s crimson gaze was hungry, avid, his breathing heavy and obvious. Whatever Rus’s inexperience, it didn’t seem to matter in his appreciation of the view. That voraciousness seemed to call Rus from the stage, pulling him down with one trembling foot in front of the other until he was standing before Edge. The outer room seemed chilly in contrast to the lighted stage, his sweat prickling on his bones as it cooled, but it didn’t touch his inner heat, the burning in his core as Rus abruptly straddled Edge’s legs, his femurs spread wide as he settled into his lap with a writhing grind.

Before he could do anything, strong hands caught his hips in a brutal grip, stilling him, and Edge shuddered, rasping out close to his audial canal, “Don’t move.”

Rus didn’t, held very still as Edge rested his forehead against the side of his skull, sweat smearing between them as he panted. Rus could feel the hardness under him through the layers of their clothes, hot and heavy, and the urge to spread his legs wider, to grind against it, was terrible and terrifying. A whimper caught in his throat, caged behind his teeth. He wanted it, didn’t want it, didn’t know what he wanted, only sat obediently still until Edge’s breathing eased somewhat and he whispered harshly, damp breath gusting against Rus’s skull, “Go on.”

“i can’t,” Rus whispered. His soul was thrumming, wet heat settling between his own legs in an aching throb.

Edge’s voice was hardly more than a broken snarl, “Go on!”

“i can’t!” Rus cried again, almost a sob as he sat trembling on Edge’s lap, “i can’t, if i do, i’ll…i—”

i’ll come in my pants, Rus couldn’t say, how could he possible say that, no matter how true.

A short, harsh laugh vibrated against the side of his skull, Edge sneering, “What’s wrong, flower shop? Isn’t this what you wanted?”

“edge.” The name lodged in his throat, taut and desperate, an answer all its own.

“I’ll give you what you want,” Edge whispered to him, a promise and a threat in one. “all of it, you beautiful, infuriating little brat!”

“i don’t—" But the words were choked off, lost, as he was suddenly lifted, strong arms carrying him and the wall was suddenly hard against his shoulders and back, Edge hard between his legs, pinning him to the wall as his mouth covered Rus’s with greedy determination.

Rus couldn’t think, couldn’t claw his way through the tangle of his own thoughts, not with Edge’s tongue driving against his own, the same fierce rhythm rocking between his thighs, rubbing against him through the thinness of his borrowed trousers. Their bodies shifting together, hands under his knees holding him up and that hardness driving against him, a mimicry of the sex that would surely come next and—

No.

Rus tore his mouth loose in a panic, gasping wetly, “wait!”

Even he couldn’t hear that weak word, lost in the panting breaths between them, the low growl of the music, of his own soul throbbing. Rus shook his head as Edge tried to take his mouth again, struggling weakly. Both hands braced against Edge's chest was like pushing against stone as he tried again, louder, “wait! please, please stop!”

Against him, Edge stilled, slowly drawing away and looking down at him incredulously, his mouth curled into a disbelieving snarl. For one wild moment, Rus thought Edge wouldn’t, that he would only take his mouth again, take him, and there would be nothing Rus could do to stop him.

But slowly, so slowly, the iron grip on Rus’s legs eased and he was, oh, so slowly lowered, set precisely back on his wobbly feet as Edge let him go. The moment he was free, Edge turned away to sag against the wall, his forehead pressed to the cool wood, his shoulders quivering as he sucked in long, slow breaths.

It took Rus a moment to catch his own unsteady balance, his legs were wobbly at the knees, and the angry, damp throb between them almost made him regret his plea to stop. Edge’s sockets were screwed tightly shut, a bead of pinkish sweat running down his face to his chin where it briefly lingered before dripping down to leave a darkened spot on his fine shirt.

“edge?” Rus said, uncertainly.

He reached out with a trembling hand, flinching back as Edge snarled out, raw and broken, “Don’t touch me!”

Rus skittered back, biting the tip of his tongue as he watched Edge struggle for control.

“I’m sorry,” Rus said, miserably. His thwarted desire tasted like ashes on the back of his tongue, coupled with steadily growing shame as he admitted, “i didn’t want it like this. not…not angry. not like this.”

Edge didn’t lift his head from the wall, but he did turn it enough to slit open his sockets, looking at Rus, “Not like this,” Edge agreed roughly. “You don’t need to apologize, but you do need to make a choice and stop teasing around it. Make up your mind, flower shop, or it’ll end up made for you.”

That implication shouldn't make a terrifying little thrill travel up his spine, it really shouldn't.

“i’m not even sure what the choices are, anymore,” Rus complained. He sank down to the floor, sitting with his back against the wall, his arms wrapped around his upraised knees. It helped hide what his clothes tried to expose, mostly, and how could he ever have thought he could go through with stripping. “but i don’t think this is what being on the stage would be like.” For one, he was fairly sure that touching was very much against the rules. At least, he hoped so, Mona didn’t deserve to have sweaty, drunken idiots groping her.

“It isn’t,” Edge agreed, “but that job isn’t for the likes of you.”

It was true, but the assessment still stung. “but it’s okay for someone like mona, is that it?”

Edge only shrugged, unconcerned. “That’s her choice. She’s well compensated and Mona isn’t mine.”

And that right there lit his temper again like a spark against a firecracker. “neither am i!”

The way Edge smirked down at him was infuriating, “Are you so sure about that, flower shop?”

He ignored the first part of the question, entirely too afraid of the answer. “urgh, you are such an asshole! i do have a name, you know!”

“I know.” Edge crouched down suddenly, so oddly graceful for such a large person. The sight of it was tantalizing, stirring Rus’s desire anew as Edge ran a gentle finger down the side of his face and murmured, “I do know, Rus.”

Oh. Rus closed his sockets, shaken. His name sounded foreign in Edge’s mouth and suddenly Rus wanted to take it back, stash it away unspoken. Let him be someone else here, let him be the pretty flower shop boy and keep Rus away from it all, safe and unspoken. But it was too late, he’d demanded it himself, and he could only open his sockets again sorrowfully as Edge went on.

“You and your brother staying here is not conditional on being with me,” Edge told him softly. “This entire situation was my fault and I intend to keep you safe, whether you want me or not.” Edge sighed heavily. “But I don’t understand you. What is it you want from me, sweet little flower shop? You change your mind with the wind. You want me and then you don’t. You don’t want us to kill Blaze, and yet, you don’t offer an alternative. What can I do? Do you think he’ll simply forget and let you go strolling back into your life without a care?”

“no, i don’t,” Rus burst out raggedly, “i don’t know the answers. i know we can’t go back to the shop. but what’s the alternative, that i stay here forever? that only strip for you instead of the world?”

Edge offered him a sudden smirk, infuriating and arousing, “Are you suggesting that you didn’t want to dance for me?” He sobered, his smile falling away. “You don’t need to strip for anyone, get that idea out of your pretty little head right now. I told you. I’ll take care of you until you can return to your shop, no matter how long it takes.”

Rus swallowed hard, remembering Blue’s earlier anger, his accusations. It seemed like so long ago they’d been standing in the wreckage of their shop and Blue was telling him that he was irreplaceable, could it have only been a few days? So brief a time for his life to be turned upside down and slantways, his busy, boring days making floral arrangements swapped for a this, and now, Rus wasn’t so sure how his brother felt. He wasn’t sure of anything, anymore. “and if my brother doesn’t want me back?”

“I sincerely doubt there’s anything you could do that would keep your brother away from you, even being with me,” Edge said dryly. He stood then and held out a hand, “Now come on, let’s head back upstairs. I think we’ve both had enough dancing for the night.”

Rus took his hand and let himself be pulled to his feet, “don’t be angry with mona, she was only trying to help.”

“Calm yourself, I’m not angry with Mona. It’s hardly her fault,” Edge said lightly. “I can hardly be upset that she let herself get drawn into your troublesome web when I did the same.”

“me!” Rus’s mouth dropped open in outrage as he sputtered indignantly, “you’re the one who keeps saying all this is your fault!”

“I stand corrected.” Edge set a knuckle beneath Rus’s chin, tilting up his head, and whatever else Rus tried to say was smothered beneath a soft kiss, the former heat of desire muted into melting tenderness. Rus made a tiny sound of complaint as Edge drew away, rising up on his toes as he tried and failed to keep that mouth on his own. His voice was husky low, his breath a soft gust against Rus’s face as he murmured, “I’ll be sure to have someone reassure her that she’s not in any trouble.”

“who?” Rus asked dazedly, and Edge only chuckled, leaning down to kiss him again.

tbc

Notes: The song Rus was dancing to was 'Drive' by Melissa Ferrick.

#spicyhoney #papcest #keelywolfe #underfell #underswap #underfell papyrus #underswap papyrus #mafia AU

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darlingsdevil · 4 years

Text

Of What Could Have Been (John Marston x Reader, Arthur Morgan)

Warnings: gore, violence, reference to s*xual ab*se but never explicitly stated

Summary: Arthur missed his chance, and now he’s paying for his past mistakes.

Masterlist

A/N: This story is basically Satisfied from Hamilton! The song was a huge inspiration and I’ve wanted to write a fic for this song for a very long time! Hope you like it.

Words: 2k

•••

The air was sweet and mild, the sun had just dipped below the terrain, and the party was just starting. Everyone was in good spirits, especially the bride and the groom. The whiskey was strong, the songs and cheers loud and the smiles wide. The women were ecstatic, they prepared the dress and the decorations, the party was their resting moment. The rest of the men drank like no tomorrow, congratulating John on his ‘big catch’. Everyone was happy - except Arthur.

Arthur hid it well. The heartbreak, the jealousy, the lonely nights knowing you would never be his. He was happy for you, you got what you truly wanted, and John would make a fine husband. He wouldn’t ruin your special night by his stupid feelings, that would be a shameful thing to do. So he hid it, as he would for the rest of his life while John was around. Only Hosea knew of Arthur’s feelings for you, as Hosea had raised him, he could tell that Arthur was painfully in love, and since he had raised you too, Hosea knew that you didn’t love him like that, and you never would.

The reception was short and sweet, at sundown, as it was tradition in camp. Susan was proud of you, as was Dutch and Hosea.

“Dutch! We got a girl over here!” Arthur yelled, loud enough for John and Dutch to hear him. John was barely a man. Arthur was well into his twenties, and still relentlessly teased the younger boy to know end.

You watched Arthur with fearful eyes, blood splattering your dress. The coach was filled with gore, and you were at the center of it all, a knife in hand, ready to stab Arthur if he took one step too close.

Back then it was trivial, everything seemed so simple. Arthur was more carefree, wild and unpredictable, a young man who sought pleasure. John even worse, a troublesome kid with a mean temper.

“You get an inch closer and this knife is going through your chest!” You yelled, your hands shaking.

Arthur backed away slowly, and pulled his gun from the holster, setting it down on the grass.

“The other one too. And the knife.”

He put his other cattleman next to the first, it fell with a clunk. The knife on his belt dropped too. You ever so slowly put the knife down, still holding it with an iron grip.

“What’s your name, Miss?” He asked you calmly.

Your eyes welled up with tears, when was the last time someone had asked you that? You gave him your name, your voice wavering. He nodded, understanding.

“I’m Arthur Morgan. We’re bad men, but we ain’t them.” Arthur told you. You dropped the knife completely. John and Dutch joined his side, and you almost instantly picked it up again. The silver glint was menacing, but could you really win against three armed men?

Arthur mumbled something to them, they both raised their hands.

“What happened, Miss?” The dark haired man asked you, he was older than both of them.

“They.. they’re dead. I killed them.” You stuttered, with shock.

“Who are they?” The older man asked again, motioning towards the bloody corpses.

“They took me from my home, they kidnapped me. I don’t know their names.”

The older man nodded, reaching out to give you his hand, you took it, stepping out of the carriage.

You had been saved.

Arthur recalled his first encounter with you. You were a fretful thing the first few months, with good reason of course. You were particularly wary of the older men too, but you learned to trust them. The first few months you confided in both Arthur and John, and by the next year it was only John. Arthur was dealing with the aftermath of Mary, and was moody and lashed out constantly. Drink had a mean hold on him. Arthur regretted it the most, in the first year, you had started to fall for John while Arthur pushed you away.

Mary called it off with Arthur that night. He was angry, beyond angry. Seething and blind with grief. When he rode into camp, the air surrounding him was heavy and electric, it’s like if you looked at him he would kill you. But behind that rage, he was upset, like he could sob until he couldn’t see anymore.

And then there was you. When he saw you, he was suddenly helpless. You were sitting by the fire, mending a torn shirt. While he rode into camp with fury, he quickly hitched his horse, rushing to his small tent to brood, but he noticed you, a beacon of light in his darkness.

He walked up behind you, you were quiet, but set the needle on your lap.

“Arthur?” You spoke in a quiet voice, feeling his presence behind you.

Arthur was frozen behind you, taking in your beauty. He felt ashamed, Mary was suddenly pushed to the back of his mind, as if she had meant little to him.

You looked up and smiled at him. His heart damn near shattered with just one look. Your eyes glistening with happiness, the fire illuminated your eyes with a bright glow and they twinkled underneath the stars.

“Can I sit with you?” He asked, his voice strangely low, you could tell he was upset. Like he was cracking at his very core.

You nodded, watching him as he sat down on the oak log.

“What’s wrong, Arthur?”

“Arthur! Arthur!” Dutch shouted, tipsy and cheering.

Arthur looked towards the poker table.

“Say a toast for us, will yeah? John’s your brother!” The men laughed, the women smiled.

He nodded, picking up his whiskey bottle.

“To the groom!” Arthur shouted, the dark liquid sloshed in his bottle. Everyone cheered.

John lifted his glass, wearing a simple button down shirt and dress pants. Susan couldn’t force him to wear a suit. He even had his unruly hair tied back for the evening.

“To the bride!”

“Arthur? What’s wrong with you?” You asked him, those big eyes looking at him with fear. Shame coiled in his gut - he couldn’t be controlled.

“Go out and get some goddamn money for us and don’t come back till you have something.” He seethed, glaring at you angrily.

“I-” you started, but were quickly cut off by him. All you had been doing was gathering flowers and herbs in the field next to camp, to give to Pearson and press the flowers into a journal you had bought for Arthur. You were planning on giving it to him once all the flowers were dried.

“All you do is sit around. Give me those damn flowers.” He shouted at you, attempting to grab your basket of plants. You stuck it behind you, protecting your collection.

“What’s gotten into you?” You yelled, fear rising in you. The lavender in the field masked the smell of alcohol.

Arthur was unhinged, his hair messy and his clothes rumpled and loose.

“Don’t come back to camp until you have money or I’ll throw you out! I’m tired of you not pulling your weight!”

You were silent, backing away from him and his rage.

John shouted your name from across the field. You turned to him, suddenly feeling relieved. Arthur was out of control.

“Give me that damn basket!” Arthur shouted even louder, grabbing you forcefully and ripped the basket out of your hands, the flowers spilling to the floor.

John swiftly came to your aide and shoved Arthur to the ground. He landed on the flowers, now crumpled.

“What the hell are you doing?” John asked Arthur. Rage burned inside him.

“All she does it sit around! Aren’t you tired of busting your ass while she gets to relax all day while we’re risking our lives?” Arthur retaliated, quickly jumping to his feet and pushing John further, John fell back into you.

“You need to go to bed Arthur, you reek of booze. Don’t do something you’ll regret.” John told him, much calmer this time.

But I already regret it - Arthur thought.

The way you looked at him would be forever burned into his mind. You looked at him with fear and sad eyes, you were hurt by his words, shocked.

And there you were, with a wide smile, staring directly at Arthur. John held you, but you were staring at him. You were breathtaking, in a lace gown with multiple layers on your skirt, a sash tied to your waist and sleeves that fell just below your elbow.

“You’ve got yourself a fine wife, John, and Mrs. Marston, boy, have you gotten yourself into some deep shit!” Arthur chuckled, shouts of agreement were heard. You playfully nodded your head at him, looking up at your husband.

Arthur couldn’t sleep - it was usual for him after Mary broke things off. His mind clouded with what ifs, and what he would have done differently. But tonight was odd, perhaps it was the oncoming storm he could feel in the air or perhaps it was because of something more.

He heard quiet whispers from the forest next to his tent, mumbled and he couldn’t make out any words. Arthur was suddenly on high alert, grabbing his gun and sneaking out from his small tent.

There was a brush of trees that backed up right to his tent, so he could be easily hidden. All the lights were out in camp, not even Uncle was wasting away at the fire. The forest was quiet, except for the whispers. It was eerily quiet, a chill crept up the back of his neck, making his hair stand on edge.

“John..” Arthur managed to make out. But who’s voice could that be, and why was he up at god knows what hour?

“You know I like you..” He heard John say, as he snuck in closer.

“I like you too. I have for awhile.” You confessed, suddenly Arthur knew. And his heart shattered again.

He peeked out from his hiding spot, just long enough to see you kiss John with compassion and pent up feelings. Arthur wished that had been him instead. Arthur backed away slowly, holding back tears in his eyes. He wasn’t an emotional man, but that night he wept. He wept for lost opportunity, that you could have been his had he not pushed you away.

“You’ll make a mighty fine husband and wife, and even better parents. I wish the two of you the best, you deserve it.” Arthur told them, hiding his longing for you.

“To Mr. and Mrs. Marston!” Arthur raised his bottle to them, patrons of camp repeating his phrase and lifting their glasses in unison.

Arthur took a hearty swig, perhaps it was long enough to satisfy his aching heart if only for a moments notice.

You danced with John, as Dutch cranked up his phonograph, a slow melodic tune. Everyone watched with heartfelt eyes, Mary Beth - the true romantic held her hand over her heart. Tilly and Karen cooed at the sight of you swaying, and Miss O’Shea held on tightly to Dutch’s arm.

Arthur took in your beauty, imagining himself up there instead. He was jealous of John, no doubt, but you would be happy as his bride. John would be good to you.

And perhaps his feelings would fade with time, but there would be none of that now.

It would always be Mr. Marston and Mrs. Marston, never the Morgan’s.

And he would have to watch you with John everyday, oblivious to his heartbreak. You would take care of John and have his kids, watch them grow up and grow old with John.

And Arthur would have to watch, as he did now, watching you sway with John with loving eyes, realizing you had never belonged to Arthur.

He would never be satisfied.

#rdr2 #arthur morgan x reader #john marston x readed #red dead redemptiom 2 #rdr2 angst #arthur morgan #rdr2 fanfic #rdr2 fanfiction #angst #fanfiction #fanfic

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all1e23 · 5 years

Text

Heart & Soul [Pt.13]

Chapter: When You Smile

Summary: Bucky decides it’s time to take his Omega back out into the world, for a little stroll and Y/n takes this chance to ask about Becca. Meanwhile, Brock sets out to get a closer look at the Alpha he’s up against.

Warnings: Protective & *bit* possessive Bucky. Some Angst. ***Trigger warning: Drunk driving/Car Accident resulting in past death.***

A/N: ***My fics are not to be saved or posted on any other sites without my written permission. Reblogs are my jam though! Thanks!**

When the sun hit the trunk at the foot of their bed – yeah, he was it calling their bed already. He’s not going to apologize for that. He was going to keep that to himself though; because he’s pretty sure saying that will scare her away and that was the Gods honest last thing he wanted to happen. Thanks to the sunlight slowly making its way across the apartment, it does occur to him that they have spent the majority of their day (and the last several days) in bed, but watching her curl herself around him tangled in sheets that were a mix of the two of them? That’s something he would give his left arm to see every single second of every day. Even though the only thing he wanted to do was lock them both away from the world and stay here where he could keep her safe and protect her from anything that threatened her, he had to get them both out of bed and out of this apartment.

Keeping them both locked away wasn’t really an option and he knew that. He had an appointment with the shrink for firing his weapon the following day and in two weeks she had to meet with Pepper for her case against Brock – last night she had agreed to meet her at the station only if Bucky was allowed to sit in on the meeting. Now, he’s not saying he is proud of this, but he had the smuggest grin on his face when she told Tony.

Yeah, being jealous of an Omega, an Omega that was bonded to his best friend, was stupid and Bucky was well aware, but they still shared something that he wasn’t privy to yet – her unwavering, blind trust. Y/n didn’t flinch around Tony, she let him touch her without hesitation and she looked to him for protection and sure, Bucky knew it had nothing to do with him and everything to do with the fact that Tony wasn’t an Alpha and all that he did for her long before Bucky came along.

That didn’t mean it didn’t bug him. He still longed for the day when he’s the only one she runs to when she’s scared or needed comfort.

Regardless of the burning desire to keep her all to himself till the end of time, they need to get up and into the fresh air or they are going to have a much bigger problem on their hands. His rut. The whole place smelled like chocolate, cinnamon, and vanilla, and every breath he could feel himself drawing closer and closer. It didn’t help that for the last two days she’s barely left his side. Not that he’s complaining, but he doesn’t exactly have suppressants to keep his biology in check and they were walking a dangerous line right now.

As much as Bucky hated it, it was time to face the music.

Surprisingly it didn’t take much to get Y/n out of the apartment. Her whole face lit up when he asked if she wanted to go for a walk. Every time she looked at him like that, Bucky could swear up and down his heart was going to explode. Somehow, he managed to keep it together, and kept his heart from breaking his chest as it tried to burst its way out. When Y/n came out of his closet wearing one of his white shirts he nearly choked on his tongue. She wasn’t making things easy on him.

Having her covered in his clothes and in his scent was the only way he wanted to go outside for the rest of their lives. His mark wasn’t on her neck, but at least she smelled like another Alpha if someone scented her and that would be enough to keep most off her. There were still the few, like that ass from the park a weeks ago, who wouldn’t care who or what she smelled liked, but he could handle the few. Most were just punks that needed to be scared straight and Bucky had no problem with that.

“I’m freezing.” She said as her teeth chattered. “Coffee please?” She asked with a grin as she pulled him to a stop in front of a coffee shop a few blocks outside his apartment. She was shivering and rubbing her hands together. He chuckled and nodded as he pulled out his wallet, but Y/n shook her head a the gesture.

“I can get it,” Y/n assured him.

“I know you can, but I am pretty sure I did the askin’ for our little walking date. When you ask me on a date then you can pay for my coffee.” Bucky grinned and held out a twenty for her take. Y/n crinkled her bright red nose at him and took the money with a fond eye roll.

“Fine, but you better let me spoil you when it’s my turn and since you’re insistent on paying, I will go in and brave the crowd so you don’t have to.” She said with a wide smile.

“Whatever you want, babydoll.” He promised with an amused smirk.

Y/n ignored the way her heart fluttered, and Bucky watched as she practically skipped into the crowded coffee shop. The last few times they have gone out together he’s noticed she’s didn’t spend as much time looking at the ground, stopped hiding from everyone around her, she shined a little brighter – if that was even possible. Bucky wasn’t sure it was, but the way she glowed when she looked at him, had his heart hopeful that one day she wouldn’t feel the need to hide at all. She would know that even if something went wrong, he would be there to fix it. Even now, his eyes never leave her even when he felt another Alpha come up and stand uncomfortably close to him.

“Pretty cold out today. Didn’t think it would drop that fast overnight.” The Alpha murmured and Bucky hummed in response.

He’s never been one for polite small talk with a random stranger, that was more Steve. Stevie was too polite for his own good sometimes and that was how he got trapped in the produce section by some chatty Blonde Omega and got himself in some trouble with Tones.

One of these days he will figure it out.

“She sure is a pretty little thing.” His eyes were glued Y/n’s backside and he grinned widely. “I’m sure that’s a nice sight when she presents for you.”

Bucky arched his brow and turned to face the Alpha fully, his arms crossed over his broad chest. There was an obvious shift in the air, Bucky had no patience for some prick Alpha eyeing his Omega and he didn’t like the way he said ‘little’, so fuckin’ condescending. But the comment about her presenting? That pushed him over the edge, it wasn’t something Bucky was going to tolerate. Ever.

“She is beautiful, but, and I mean this in the calmest way possible. Keep your eyes off my Omega.” He said quietly, a sharp growl following his words.

The other Alpha only grinned wider and nodded, still eyeing Y/n’s backside through the shop window. “Sorry. Protective Alpha I get it. Just saying you’ve got a hot little piece of ass in there. You better hold on to her. It would be a shame to lose something like that.”

Was this asshole serious? Bucky didn’t want to start a scene right here on the sidewalk, but he was about to toss this knothead through the shop window and beat him till he could no longer speak.

“You really need to shut your mouth before I make sure you spend the rest of your life drinking all your meals through a straw.” Bucky looked back through the shop window spotting her up at the register paying for their coffee, and he gestured for him to leave. If Y/n came out and there was another Alpha out here, being overly aggressive and causing a scene it was going to turn her good day to bad real fast and he wasn’t having any of that.

“Get fuckin’ lost. Now,” Bucky growled. The stranger held up his hands and walked backward away from Bucky, that dumb amused smirk still on his face.

“No problem. Have a nice day with the little one.”

Bucky’s never wanted to knock out a stranger’s teeth in more than he did at this moment. Alphas like him were the problem, the reason Y/n walked around on alert and afraid all the time. They were the reason she kept herself hidden while she was out and didn’t let herself relax until she was completely alone – why she was afraid to fully give her heart to him. Bucky watched until the prick had turned the corner out of sight, far away from his girl, before he turned his attention back to her.

By the time Y/n came out with their coffees, his new friend was long gone and he was aching to have her back by his side after those comments. If he was this bad before they bonded, he was going to be a mess once his mark was on her – if she ever wanted to bond, of course. It was her choice and they were nowhere close to thinking about that and he would never push her. It’s just one day at a time right now and if she never wanted to bond? Well, he could be okay with that, he would be more than happy to spend the rest of his days with her just as they are.

All he needed in this life was her, bonded or not.

She smiled at him and held out his cup. “I’m sorry that took so long. The line was so long, but don’t worry I got your boring black coffee.”

Bucky chuckled and threw his arm over her shoulders, taking the cup with his free hand. “Just because it’s black coffee doesn’t mean it’s boring, doll. What did you get? A cup of sugared milk with a dash of coffee?”

Y/n snuggled into his side to hide from the cold wind blowing against them and because she liked the way his scent wrapped around her when they were this close. The little shiver it sent down her spine and the way it made her insides turn to complete mush. Oh, if he only knew how much his scent affected her.

“No, I didn’t.” She mumbled against his neck. “Thank you very much. I got hot chocolate with a shot of espresso.”

Of course, she did.

He shook his head, shit-eating grin plastered on his face as he placed a kiss to the side of her head. “What am I gonna do with you babydoll?”

She hummed in response and pressed her cold nose against his neck making Bucky shiver at the sudden temperature change. “I’m not too worried.” She muttered against his skin. “Whatever it is I’m sure I’ll like it.”

That was not what he expected to come out of her mouth. He expected the shy, sweet Omega that would get all flustered and change the subject in hopes he didn’t notice how he affected her – he always noticed. Bucky slid his hand onto the back of her neck and gave a gentle squeeze so she would look up at him. He laughed when he was met with the cheeky grin she was sporting, and shit did he love it.

“One kiss and you gettin’ cheeky with me, doll?” He asked, biting back a smile.

“I just thought it was time you knew what you’re getting into.” She shrugged and wrapped her arm around his waist, hiding her face back in his neck. “And all this time you thought Tony was a handful. You’ve got no idea what you’re trying to take on.”

His frame shook from laughter and let his arm hang back around her shoulders, he loved that she was opening up relaxing enough to be herself around him without any reservations or trepidation. “Alright troublemaker let’s get a move on. I’ve got somewhere I wanna take you and we gotta move if we wanna get there before the sun starts to set.”

Apparently, Bucky wasn’t the only one who had the same idea because the promenade had several couples and little families leaning against the black fence facing the water. Still, Bucky managed to find a spot between all the people and instinctively moved her in front of him, taking up space behind her and wrapping his arms protectively around her. He didn’t feel as agitated this time around, nothing like when they were on the subway. He still had no idea what Brock looked like, but they were in a much different place than they were all those weeks ago.

There wasn’t any hint of hesitation when he wanted to hold her – Of course, if Y/n pulled back or showed a sign of not wanting his affection, he would respect that and keep his distance, but she needed his touch as much as he needed to touch her.

Oranges, reds and soft pinks filled the sky in front of them, wrapping around the buildings in Manhattan and despite everyone around him all she could smell was Bucky, chocolate and cayenne were wrapped around her and it was making it hard to think about anything other than how much she liked having him this close to her, how much she wanted him. Someone around them was whimpering and she didn’t realize it had been her until she felt his arms tighten around her and his warm breath tickling her neck as he whispered in her ear, “It’s all right, you’re okay. I’ve got you, baby.”

And, boy does he. Bucky had no idea how much of her he’s holding in those gentle hands she loves so dearly.

Y/n hoped he felt the same way. She hoped that she held him just as much as he held her, that, even when they are surrounded by hundreds of people and a beautiful sunset all he could think about, all he was able to focus on was her because she didn’t care how pretty the sunset in front of her was, it was nothing compared to what she saw when Bucky looked at her.

Y/n hoped he would always look at her like that – like she was his perfect sunset.

For that to happen, they needed to at least attempt a normal relationship and do the things that normal couples do like talk about more than her panic attacks. It was long overdue, but if she wanted to have a future with him then they had to do more than kiss and hold her through her nightmares. She wanted to help him through his nightmares, and she hoped he wanted to share the weight of them with her.

“James?” She asked as she leaned back against his chest, peeking up at him.

“Yeah?”

“What happened to Becca?”

Bucky went tense and she regretted asking the moment she felt his body go stiff behind her.

“I’m sorry. You don’t have to tell me. You just said – Tony mentioned once – Forget I asked. I’m sorry.” She shook her head and looked back at the water, feeling like an insensitive dope. Undoubtedly, it was a sensitive subject for him, and she just decided to casually bring it up in public with a bunch of strangers surrounding them.

Way to ruin a perfect moment, Y/n.

Bucky shifted to stand next to her and cupped her jaw, turning her head to get her to look at him. “Hey.” He said softly. “It’s okay. I can smell your distress. I told you, you could ask me at any time. I just wasn’t expecting it is all.”

She shifted from one foot to another avoiding his eyes. “So… you’re not mad at me for asking?”

“Mad at you?” Bucky frowned as if that was the craziest question he’s ever gotten.

“Doll, I’m never going to get mad at you for asking me a question. Especially when you just wanna know more about me and my family.” He gave her hand a gentle squeeze and settled back behind her, resting his chin on her shoulder so his cheek pressed up against hers and his arms returned to their rightful place – wrapped around her.

“Becs…” He sighed.

“I told you she was a lot like you? She didn’t always hang out with the best crowd. I told her she needed to get new friends, but she only saw the good in everyone. Kind of like someone else I know.” He squeezed her gently before continuing. “A couple years ago she was dating some punk ass with a record. I should have beaten his ass till he was too scared to call her again, but I was told I had to let her grow up a bit and let her make her own mistakes.”

The regret and guilt were so thick in his voice it made her wish she never brought this up, but she didn’t tell him he didn’t have to share if hurt too much – as much as she wanted to. This was hard enough for him to get through without her interrupting and reassuring her. He cleared his throat and tightened his arms around her before he continued.

“That night… we got into a stupid fight because she wanted to go out with the idiot and I didn’t think it was a good idea. She got pissed, told me she didn’t have to listen to my shit and she could make her own decisions even if I didn’t like them and then she left. About three in the morning Steve came banging on my door, telling me I had to get out of bed and my dumbass thinks we got a call or somethin’.”

He shook his head, pressing his lips to her shoulder like he was hoping the feel of her pressed against him would give him what he needed to go on.

“It turned out it wasn’t our call, her idiot boyfriend was drunk when he drove her home, they got into a bad accident and Bec…”

It didn’t have to be said and she wasn’t going to make him say it. She rubbed her hands up and down his arms and dipped her head down, running her nose along his neck to soothe him. The smell of burnt chocolate was never something she had been fond of and she didn’t like it when coming off Bucky even more. He smiled and gave her a gentle squeeze in return.

“Of course, I wanted to kill the kid, but I thought, Nah. Let see this little punk handle prison. The trial came and… the little shit got off, he’s an Alpha from a good family and he claimed another car clipped him that’s why he lost control, not the fifteen beers. The judge said we shouldn’t risk the loss to the community because one Omega died.”

Y/n slowly turned in his arms and met his eyes, her heart crumbled at the guilt darkening his pretty eyes. “That’s why you help at the shelters.” She said softly. “That’s why you are pushing for Omega rights.”

Bucky brushed her hair out of her eyes and nodded. “Yeah. No one else should have to go through that and…” He ran his nose along hers and smiled when she shivered. “For everyone that’s had an Alpha abuse their authority, for you… Steve and I can’t be everywhere. We can’t help every Omega as much as we would like to.”

Her arms wrapped her arms around his neck, and she gave him a gentle tug. He got the idea and leaned against her, “I’m sorry about Becca, but you know it’s not your fault, right? If you’re right and she was anything like me, you couldn’t have stopped her from going out, and most importantly she knew how much you loved her.” She smiled at the wary look on his face. “You don’t have to tell me what you’re thinking James Barnes. I think I know you pretty well by now and I know for certain, she knew how much you loved her because you love with your whole heart. There’s no way she didn’t know.”

How the hell was she this perfect and in what reality did he deserve her? Certainly not this one. In every single dream, in every one of his fantasy, he’s never imagined his mate could be as good and pure and kind as the one he was fortuitous to have in his arms right now. He just hoped to Gods he didn’t do something to make her see how much more she deserved.

Without giving him a chance to fight her on what they both know is true, Y/n grabbed both his hands and turned him around, tugging on his hands as she tried to pull him away from the crowd of people. She knew just how to cheer him up.

“Ice cream please?” She asked, looking at him through her lashes with an adorable pout on her face.

Bucky laughed, free and unbridled the way he could only do with her. “Doll, it’s freezing out and you want ice cream?”

“Ice cream makes everything better Buck.”

His heart fluttered at the way his name sounded on her lips. That was the first time she had called him that and he liked it. He liked it a lot. Fuck, he was screwed. He was so far gone for her he would give her anything she asked for, even if it cost him his life.

Bucky slipped his arm around her waist and pulled her flush against him. The grip on her waist tightened as he let his forehead rest against hers and made a promise for all to hear, “I’ll give you whatever you want, baby. All you have to do is ask.”

Several feet down the promenade Brock strolled over to a fairly empty portion and leaned against the metal railing, next to a very unamused looking Alexander Pierce. He looked over at Brock and shook his head in utter disappointment and… disgust.

Maybe things weren’t as okay as Brock was told.

“That moved you pulled with Barnes was stupid and risky.”

Brock shrugged as he peered down around the people where Y/n was running her fingers through Barnes’s hair and smiling at something the shithead was whispering to her. “It was risky, but it wasn’t stupid. I learned quite a bit about the Alpha. I didn’t think he knew much about me and turned out I was right. I can use that our advantage.”

Pierce turned around to face and snapped his fingers in front of the young Alpha’s face, taking his attention off Y/n.

“You were lucky. It was by chance he didn’t know what you looked like and if he had you wouldn’t be standing here right now. You underestimate him and it’s going to be your downfall and mine. Get your head out of your ass and focus. I am not going to lose everything because of one little Omega.”

“I am focused.” He growled softly. “She’s mine and I’m not going to stop till I get her back.”

Nothing else in the world mattered. He had to get Y/n back and he didn’t care who was standing in his way. No one was going to come in and take her away from him, he needed her, and she needed him even if she didn’t realize it yet. He meant what he said to her that night in the alley – If can’t have her, no one will. He certainly wasn’t going to come in second to some poor, good for nothing Alpha who couldn’t give her all the things she deserved.

“I don’t care who she is letting knot her. She isn’t worth all this trouble. No Omega is but certainly not a lower-class orphan.” He glanced back at the pair of lovebirds walking in the directions of Barnes’s apartment. “I taught you how to keep your Omega in check and you failed to do so. That was your fault, not hers. You should have broken her when you had the chance and as if being unable to control your Omega wasn’t enough of an embarrassment, then there was that bullshit you pulled with the young Beta boy. What was his name? The one who lost his hand to your foolish pride?”

He ground his teeth, gritting out. “Pietro.”

“Ah, yes. The lovely reason we have Captain Do-Good breathing down our necks.” He pulled his gloves out of his pockets, covering his hands with the soft leather. “Now, I learn you’re stalking them? I didn’t take you in when you were a kid, raise you like my own to watch you fuck up your life and mine. Get it together or Captain Rogers will the be least of your worries.”

“Oh,” Pierce cautioned as he pushed passed the fuming Alpha, “If I have to, I’ll get rid of her. Permanently. Drop this half-witted obsession and leave Barnes and his Omega alone or we are done.”

Brock barely heard him. Who the hell did he think he was? Threatening his Omega?

What he didn’t understand was, Brock was doing this all for them. Once she was bonded to him and Barnes was out of the picture the case against him would be dropped and as for Pietro? They didn’t have anything that linked him or Pierce to his injuries. Hell, he wasn’t even in the state when it happened. It would all work out after he got Y/n back, and eventually, she would learn to love him the way she loves Barnes. They were the ones that were meant to be together, not her and Barnes. After some time, she would come to see that.

First thing first, now that he is certain Barnes doesn’t know what he looks like he just had to get him away from Y/n and Pierce just accelerated his timetable.

Previous // Next

2K notes · View notes

larryfanfiction · 5 years

Photo

New Year’s Eve AU

🎆 One Minute to Midnight by QuickedWeen (29k)

Louis Tomlinson is at the height of his game in Boston’s financial scene. He’s got the instinct, and he’s got the guts to take calculated risks that make everyone around him a lot of money. Everything is going well until the day after he gets promoted when he wakes up forty years older than his actual age.

Two years later he’s adapted to his new life as a retiree, but he’s lonely and desperate for company closer to his real age during the rigorous holiday party season. He gets some questionable advice from Niall and turns to the Seeking Arrangement app where he finds Harry Styles, a local actor he’s been a fan of since they had an undergraduate class together. But what happens when a few dates here and there isn’t enough?

🎆 And Touch Me Like You Never by runaway_train (35k)

“Lets move back a bit yeah?” Harry clutches at his waist with a free hand and tugs him to move through the crowd until they are almost at the back of the group and settles them both beside the far wall. “There. That better?”

Louis looks up at him, as if he’s a tad dazed. “Uh, yeah, thanks. Can’t really see much from back here either though.”

Harry lifts a shoulder and grins at him, placing a hand on the wall behind Louis to pen him in. “We’ll just have to create our own fireworks then, won’t we?” He says it jokingly with a wink, and Louis laughs but he seems nervous. He must know that Harry is harmlessly flirting. Harry flirts with everyone after all, including Louis.

“Do you think this is a good idea Haz?” Louis asks quietly, almost too quietly in the clamour of the room, his head bowed as he scuffs his shoe on the carpet.

“Stop over thinking it Lou, it’s one kiss. What’s the worst that could happen?”

The one where Harry and Louis agree to be each other’s New Year’s kiss and it ends up being a lot more than they bargained for.

🎆 The Stories That I Can’t Explain by kikikryslee (6k)

“Are you closing?” the woman asked, rushing into Louis’ store. “I just have to pick something up!” “I’m really sorry, but if you come back on Tuesday, we’ll be opening again at normal time,” Louis told her, trying to get her out of the shop. “No, please! I-” The woman dropped her head, and Louis watched in horror as she started crying. He didn’t do well with tears. “Please, I just have to pick up a ring, it’s- It’s for my brother, and he’s well… He’s dying. And it’s really important that I get it.” Louis could feel his mouth drop open even farther than it already had been. “Um…” Just then, a man walked into the store. He took one look at the woman and rolled his eyes. “Gemma, you haven’t told another stranger that I’m dying, have you?” he asked. The woman, Gemma apparently, turned to face him. “Of course I didn’t, Harry,” she said. — Or, the one where no one is actually dying, but Gemma likes to lie about Harry’s livelihood to get what she wants. Harry isn’t amused. Louis kind of is, though.

🎆 A Dream is a Soft Place to Land by lululawrence (4k)

“It’ll be like a perpetual sleepover, Lou,” Harry had said. “It’ll be great.”

And it was…except it also meant that Louis’ long time, barely there crush on Harry had only grown into a full fledged, real life version of playing house where Louis all too often found himself pretending he and Harry really were together when they definitely were not.

Or the one where Harry might have told his friends that he was dating someone and has to show proof for their party on New Year’s Eve. His best friend and roommate Louis is the obvious choice…but things don’t exactly go as planned.

🎆 2018 and The Rest of Forever by StayTillTheAM (4k)

Tick.

Tock.

Tick.

Tock.

One of these days Louis will take Liam’s annoying analog clock from the wall and smash it to the ground. He might even make it his new year’s resolution.

Louis’ been sat on the couch for the past hour, trying to focus on the cooking show playing but instead he got distracted by the damn ticking object on the wall in front of him. It just hangs there, mocking Louis and seemingly ticking as loudly as possible just to remind Louis that she and Time are in control. To remind him that they won’t wait for him. To remind him that the closer they get to midnight, the closer Louis gets to having another year wasted.

Because 2017 is almost over and Louis still hasn’t found his soulmate.

- - - - - - - -

Or the New Year’s Eve fic where 2017 refused to give Louis his soulmate, and 2018 might change that for him.

🎆 LoveJoy by Snowy38 (13k)

“Dance-mat!” Liam voted.

“Guitar hero,” Zayn chirped up.

“What about a game of Trivial Pursuit?”

The voice was deeply serious and even Louis grinned as Harry leaned forward in his seat.

Three faces scoffed.

“Jesus, Hazza, live a little,” Niall teased.

“Is that what a wild night is like for geeks?” Zayn wondered.

“No, that would be more along the lines of driving out to the middle of nowhere and camping in a field to study the interstellar medium of the Orion Nebula,” Harry quipped with a little, happy smile.

🎆 Never Walk Away (A Man Can Be Kind) by LiveLaughLoveLarry (8k)

Louis and Harry have recently ended their three year relationship. But maybe a little holiday magic can bring them back together.

~*~*~

“I don’t know why you’re so nice to that louse,” Oli says as the taxi pulls away from the curb.

Louis glances back through the window. Harry is still standing on the sidewalk, hands in his pockets, watching them go. “He’s not a louse,” he says absently.

“He hurt you.”

“I hurt him,” Louis replies. “And he didn’t mean to. It was inevitable. It’s not his fault. It is what it is.”

Oli is silent for a long moment. At last, he sighs. “Someday you’re going to have to stop being afraid.”

🎆 haven’t you heard by allwaswell16 (8k)

Harry Styles has been in love with Louis Tomlinson since they were eighteen. After six years together, Harry is ready to propose to the love of his life. The holidays strike him as the perfect time for a romantic proposal, but his well-meaning friends and family (including his self-appointed best friend, Niall) seem to thwart him at every turn.

Or the four times Harry tries to propose, and the one time he gets it right.

🎆 Yours In Fractions by FullOnLarrie (23k)

Louis and Harry are strangers who, because of a mix up, share their mutual friend’s apartment and bed over the holidays.

🎆 till our wide eyes burn blind by wonderously (7k)

au. harry and louis get snowed in together on new year’s eve.

🎆 I Think I’m Addicted to Your Light by supernope (9k)

Louis is just zipping back up when the door swings open with a swell of noise and someone shuffles up next to him, shoes tapping loudly against the tile floor. Louis turns to see who’s walked in and just violated the code of the men’s toilet by taking the urinal next to him and is met with wide, green eyes and red lips stretched into a brilliant smile.

“Happy new year,” the guy grins, shaking long, curly hair away from his face. “You look sharp. Sorry, do you mind holding this for a minute? I don’t really have any place to keep it and it’s kind of a hassle, getting out of these things. Don’t want it to fall in.”

He indicates his legs with the hand clutching a pale pink phone, and Louis’ gaze drops. Speechless, Louis takes the phone, eyes locked on the guy’s legs. His gorgeous legs, clad only in a pair of black thigh-highs held up by a silky black garter belt.

🎆 Running Down To The Riptide by sweaterpawstyles (4k)

“I can’t give you your present yet, Lou.”

Louis furrowed his brows. “And why is that, my love?”

Harry smiled at his lap. “Because your present is under my sweater,” he pulled his free hand that wasn’t laced with Louis’ and gently laid it on his stomach. “I’m pregnant.”

It’s New Year’s Eve and Harry has a surprise under his sweater

🎆 So Baby Tonight Just Be the Death of Me by crimsontheory (12k)

He hasn’t had much to drink, just enough to make everything feel warm and soft, kind of like the boy currently pressed up against his side.

Louis glances around the room and thinks that even though there is a couple leaning against the wall, a little too close to him, very heatedly making out, and he can hear the faint sounds of someone throwing up in the kitchen sink, and that the whole house smells of sweat and stale alcohol, there is no other place he’d rather be than on this couch with Harry curled into his side.

An AU where Louis is new in town and Harry invites him to a New Year’s party.

🎆 the clock is ticking, ticking by smokinglarry (2k)

Louis’ timer is about to hit zero in a few seconds and he’s stood at Westminster Bridge because it’s New Year’s Eve and here are so many people, how is Louis supposed to find his soulmate ? He’s lost.

(people have timers engraved into their skin that show them when they’re going to meet their soulmate.)

🎆 six feet beneath the moon by starseas (25k)

AU. takes place over one night. harry and louis meet at a going away party.

🎆 How Would You Feel (If I Told You I Loved You) by Only_angel_28 (81k)

An AU inspired by the music video for Ed Sheeran’s song Perfect featuring two idiots who are too thick to see that their friendship is anything but platonic, lots of pining, too many terms of endearment to count, a wedding, slow dancing, a couple of steamy hot tub moments, karaoke, snow, a healthy dose of cuddling, love confessions, and Harry and Louis being quite generous to each other.

*Or the one where Harry has been in love with his best friend for four years, and New Year’s Eve at his family’s holiday home in Switzerland is perfect for finally telling Louis how he feels.

More Masterposts

#nye #nyema #masterpost

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love-for-ever-more · 6 years

Text

I wanna feel love : Part 6

A Deacury fic

John headed upstairs, yearning to have a long, hot bath and then put on his pajamas, but he craved, even more, to see Freddie again. Wishing not to interrupt anything between him and Mary, he braced himself and walked to his room only to find the door wide open. Freddie wasn't in his bed. He got downstairs again 'where the hell are they?' he groaned taking a beer from the fridge and entering the sitting room, in total silence. He sat there for a moment, holding the beer in his hand when his eyes fixed on a strange shadow on the wall next to the fireplace.

"What is-" he started as he approached slowly to see Freddie sitting on the floor, completely hidden by the armchair, staring at the fire as if being hypnotized.

"Hey, you" he whispered not wanting to startle him. Freddie, nonetheless, shuddered with horror and gaped at him with wide eyes.

"John!" he screamed, "you scared the hell out of me!"

John smiled widely without saying anything.

Freddie let out a long sigh of relief and rubbed his eyes with his fists. "What are you doing here, dear?" he asked again.

"All the departures got canceled.." he said with a side upturn of his lips "it's awful out there really...How do you feel?" he asked, placing himself next to Freddie.

"I'm..I'm ok I guess" Freddie smiled "I feel better actually"

"That's good" John smiled "where's Mary?"

"She..she left. She had to do something"

"She did? She told me she would stay here..till Monday at least until the guys come back" he said feeling genially relieved of not seeing them together. But at the same time, he thought of Freddie burning from fever, having no one to make him a cup of tea or a soup and groaned as, unwittingly, he felt a twinge of guilt accompanied with annoyance. "And.. you were here alone.." he muttered.

"It's ok Deaky.." Freddie nodded "let's not cry over this, dear". He patted John on his knee, "shall we keep the fire?" he asked.

John nodded and got up to get some logs to put in the fireplace. Freddie helped him -he carried two logs!- and once the flames grew bigger and hotter, they both relaxed in front of the fireplace again, relishing the newborn warmth on the cold night.

"How's your fever?" John asked after a while, turning his gaze to Freddie.

"I think I'm hotter than ever!" he joked. He turned his eyes on John and saw him chuckle. Freddie kept his eyes on John's face and studied him for some moments. His white, smooth skin, his thin lip line, his gentle eyes.. 'they fit perfectly John's character' he thought immediately and smiled 'Just as gentle, as lovable and as innocent as Johnny is'

He blinked as he felt a wave of embarrassment take over him and he thought he turned even redder than before; when his fever was high. He licked his lips nervously "because of the.. heat I mean.." he added some seconds later and averted his eyes from John's face when John turned his face to him.

"Lucky me.." John courageously whispered, overcoming the language barrier and making an attempt to flirt Freddie as never before. He saw him flash him a dimpled grin and he smiled back warmly.

"I'm starving. Have you eaten anything?" he asked Freddie.

"Just a cup of tea and some biscuits"

"Ok let's make dinner and test your temperature, to be sure you're fine" he patted his knee and got up, with Freddie following him in the kitchen.

"What are you gonna cook?" he teased; receiving a side glance from John.

"We" John started raising his eyebrows "are gonna have homemade pizza. There must be dough in the freezer" he said opening it. 'Yes!, here it is!"

"Really dear? Frozen dough?" Freddie cocked his eyebrow.

"Oh! Shut up, your Majesty!" John snickered "we'll put our own topping! What do you want?"

"Anything but cheese.." Freddie joked, pressing his lips together to hide his teeth and making John frown a little.

"Ok..extra cheese.." John continued, pretending he didn't notice. "What else?" giving Freddie the liberty to choose most of the ingredients.

Freddie sat on the table and watched John prepare the pizza. He sat there silently feeling surprisingly nervous... It was the first time he found it difficult to start a conversation.. 'especially with Deaky' he thought. He always felt relaxed around John, either drunk or not.

Now, after that kiss on the lips, he felt strange.

'I didn't actually kiss him. Our lips were touching. Just that..'

'Well, not just that..'

'Why? What else happened?'

'Freddie you kissed him..admit it'

He was having the conversation in his head again...For the third time since that kiss happened. He was staring at an appliance, he didn't know how to use, but his mind was restless; quite the opposite compared to his external calmness.

'Believe me, I know what a kiss is. And that...wasn't a kiss'

'But you would like it to be a kiss. Wouldn't you?'

'Yes... I.. I don't know. Besides, he twitched'

'Why don't you know? And.. he was surprised. You know that'

'It's..strange... it's Deaky!!'

'So?'

'So, I don't know if.. he's gay"

'Would you like him to be gay?'

'I..-' he sighed heavily 'perhaps'

'Why? Do you like him?' His inner interrogator was quite pressing for an imaginary one.

'Well..he is pretty..that's obvious and he's tender..and..he's really sweet..and caring with me..but..it's Deaky! He's always caring with me!'

'Exactly!' his heart exclaimed happily 'Exactly, dear!'

'Exactly what?'

'Open your eyes, sweetheart. He is always by your side. He always stands by you, even when you're being insufferable and pompous and.. irritatingly arrogant and.. despotic and-'

'Shut up! I get it! Ok? Jesus! you are supposed to be by my side...' Freddie smiled absentmindedly.

He was now staring at the table. 'Is it true?' Freddie wondered 'does John like me?' he absentmindedly grinned broadly at his thought. 'What about Veronica? How am I supposed to find out? What should I tell him? Should I test him anyhow? What should I do? Am I that blind? How could I be that blind..'

"Freddie! Hey Freddie!!" John called from the sitting room.

He suddenly looked around "Deaky? Where are you?"

"Come on Freddie! Rog is on the phone!" he called again.

"The phone rang?!" he asked in disbelief and got up from his chair. "I didn't hear it.. sorry.."

John laughed and passed him the receiver.

"Thank you, sweetie!" Freddie chanted and stood next to him.

He started talking with Roger while taking a few Freddie-poses, nothing outrageous or way too flirtatious... Just some charming poses -ever so gently, of course- while keeping eye contact with John. Just to test him.. Just to catch any special sign towards him...

"And..what took you so long to call Rog?" he asked, playing the cord in his elegant fingers and taking a seat on the furniture the phone was placed. He hid his teeth and laughed with Roger's reply.

"Really Rog? The time difference?" Freddie asked among laughs and winked at John who was holding his stomach from laughing. "Maybe this little girlfriend of yours is getting all your attention, dear.. don't be shy to tell us.." he said mischievously and took a strand of his midnight black hair in his fingers, making small rings with it around them as he continued to stare at John.

When John left, calling that the pizza was ready, Freddie wished good night to Roger and Brian and hung up the phone strolling eagerly to the kitchen.

"Mmm" he moaned almost sensually and bit his lower lip with his protruding teeth, flickering his eyelashes to him "it smells so delicious!"

He licked his lips tantalizingly slow and stood next to John slightly touching his arm with his fingers but never taking his mischievous eyes off John. "Can we take it to the sofa, darling?" he asked in a low tone and leaned his head on John's shoulder.

"Um..sure" John gave him a questioning look. "You go ahead with the pizza and I'll get the plates"

"Mm hmm" Freddie smiled, taking the pizza in his hands and waltzing to the door. John took a second to think before joining him 'what is he doing? Is he flirting with me?' He took a deep breath and thought of Freddie's quizzical behavior.

On one hand, Freddie was always like this. He has seen it happen. He has seen him being flirty not only with Mary -although the last time he saw Freddie flirt with Mary was long ago- but with other people too. It was part of his character; so it wasn't news to John.

But on the other hand, what was breaking news to John was that Freddie was behaving like this to him. 'Ok, he only did it once, just now..but still' he tried to compose himself and steady his breathing 'he never did this before, towards me' he felt his cheeks burn.

Did he like it? Of course, he did. He had to try hard to hide his blushing from Freddie and most importantly he had to hide the stirring of passion in his pants.

Did he understand it? No, he didn't. Now that it was happening -whatever it was it- it kinda felt..fabricated. He couldn't explain it. Maybe his mind was playing tricks to him.

John always wanted to be the receiver of Freddie's attention, always longed to be the receiver of Freddie's compliments. He always craved for Freddie to be just a little bit flirty with him as he was with the other people. He truly adored the moments when Freddie showed him an extra amount of interest. For years he was sitting there, watching him shower other people with compliments.. and being extremely outgoing with them.. men and women.. But never with him. Freddie was cool and relaxed near John and he always praised John's musical abilities and his character but John never felt being a part of this go-with-the-flow attitude, he was never a genuine part of that easygoing-ness Freddie showed everyone and that, was apparently his fault cause he was more reserved and much less talkative than any other, around Freddie.

"What takes you so long, dear?" Freddie's voice echoed in the silence.

"I'm coming!" John grabbed two plates and rushed in, taking a seat next to him.

"So?" Freddie asked with a naughty smirk as John took a bite from his first slice.

"What?" he asked back.

"Did you... cum?" Freddie asked him sultrily fixing his brown eyes on him.

John shifted in his seat uncomfortably, unable to look at him. The previous blush appeared on his cheeks again as he lowered his head.

"I love that" Freddie laughed for a moment, pushing John lightly on his thigh -keeping his flirt on- and when he heard nothing from John, he stopped and retrieved his hand from John's thigh. "I'm sorry.." he mumbled, seeing John wasn't comfortable with his kinky joke.

"You're... so innocent..." he shook his head and looked down.

John sensing at once Freddie's uneasiness wanted to bite himself for not acting cool with his joke "I'm certainly not a child" he squealed in his attempt to laugh at his own reaction.

He saw Freddie bite the inside of his cheek in embarrassment.

'This is the reason why Freddie never behaves like that to me. I can't handle it.. I can't handle him.. I could slap myself for reacting like that..' John thought.

A few moments of silence passed until "Wanna check your temperature?" he asked Freddie quietly, lifting his eyes to face him.

"Ok.." Freddie smiled shyly. 'Why did I have to say something like that to John? He isn't- oh God.. you scared him.. I could slap myself for that..' he thought and decided to act more carefully.

'You've got to relax...you've got to relax...' John told himself when Freddie crouched on the corner of the sofa 'He, finally, starts talking to you just like he talks to everyone else...just like you wanted...and you shut him down like that? You've got to relax...'

He sighed deeply and took another slice of the pizza.

"Do...do you want to...watch a movie, dear? Freddie asked quietly. "Would you like that?"

"Yeah..sure" John said quickly. "Which one?" he asked, happy to see that Freddie didn't want to sit there without doing anything at all, as well.

"How about Psycho?" Freddie said casually.

"Psycho? That's new... I didn't know you like thrillers Freddie"

"Oh! now that you are here... I think I can handle it, darling!" Freddie smiled in confidence. "I wouldn't dare watch it alone, I must admit, or with Rog or Bri.." he said as he moved closer to John, again. "They always make scary noises..." he shrugged and took off the thermometer. "98F" he added putting it back in its little box.

John smiled. "I think you only needed rest..." he said and looked at Freddie who was looking at him.

"Yeah..it seems so.." he nodded. He took a second and spoke again "John.." he whispered "Thanks for being here..for me.." his glance was soft and full of gratitude.

John's heart fluttered in his chest when he heard Freddie's sweet voice thank him. He wanted to throw himself on Freddie and kiss him hard.

He swallowed and shrugged "I wouldn't want to be anywhere else" he smiled.

Freddie raised his hand slowly and gently caressed John's cheek with his forefinger. He saw him part his lips and inhale shakily at his touch.. he gleamed with satisfaction once John closed his eyes and exhaled calmly. "How about I make some popcorn?" he asked.

"You, Freddie, are gonna make popcorn?" he laughed.

"Why yes! Is it so unheard of me to say thank you?" Freddie faked to be offended by John's remark.

But John failed to see Freddie's joke and thinking of Freddie's latest temper, he let a panicked "Oh no! I didn't mean it like this! I was just-"

"John, relax babe!" he cut him off. "I'm only joking!" He was shocked by John's apologetic face... "You don't have to apologize to me.." He repeated calmly.

"I was just kidd-"

"My God.." Freddie whispered hardly audible, "have I really been that terrible to you? To... to all of you?" he asked "I know I've had a lot of 'Freddie's moments' lately and I'm sorry for that but.. but that doesn't mean we can't make fun with each other...or joke...or I don't know.. laugh at ourselves.." he swallowed hard. "Don't be afraid to talk to me like you used to, Deaky.." his eyes pleaded along with his words. "I'm not gonna get mad at you, dear...besides, I'm not that fragile... I'm not gonna break..." he lowered his head, feeling ashamed of himself. "I'm sorry..for everything.." he said shyly, not daring to look at John.

John put his hand on Freddie's back showing his support to him. He felt guilty and stupid for making Freddie feel guilty and sad. He couldn't stand seeing him feeling sad about anything. He wanted to take him into his arms and keep him there till his last moment on earth.

He gently placed his forefinger under Freddie's chin and raised his head to look at him in the eye. Freddie's big brown eyes were his heaven and seeing him about to cry was a stub in John's heart.

"There's no need to apologize, too, Freddie. Not to me.." he said quietly taking a few strands out of Freddie's face. "I can see that you're in a difficult place right now, but you'll get over it. I know you and I know that you are perfectly capable of doing anything you wish!" John smiled and took Freddie's cheek in his palm. "I only wanted to make fun of your cooking abilities! I didn't know you are a chef!" John laughed.

Freddie let a suppressed sigh escape his lips at John's reassurance. He hugged him tightly and whispered a heart-melting "thank you!" in John's ear.

They stayed in total silence for some minutes, hugging each other, enjoying the closeness.

"So, how about the popcorn?" John asked.

"Oh yes!" Freddie squealed in John's ear and gave him a small peck on his cheek before he got up strutting to the kitchen. "Start the mooovie!" he sang, turning his head slightly back to see if John was watching him. 'Yes!! He's watching!' he exclaimed from the inside.

"Freddie, do you know how to make popcorn?" John laughed, watching Freddie walk up and down in the kitchen.

"How difficult can that be, dear?" Freddie asked before a loud clang make the both of them jump. "I- I only dropped this" he laughed, picking up for the floor a small frying pan and sticking his arm out of the door for John to see.

"ha! Ok.. do you need any help?" John asked. "The kernels are on the top left cupboard and you can find the butter on the fridge.."

"Johnny babe, I got it. Relax! Look.. why don't you have another slice of pizza till I come back?" he popped his head from the door frame and gave him a wide grin.

"Ok ok, I'll shut it" John nodded.

Freddie resumed his task of making popcorn, without getting John's image out of his mind. He put a small quantity of butter in a saucepan and threw the corn kernels in. Then he put it on the electric cooker. 'Could John like me?' He suddenly felt his cheeks burn when he thought of John grabbing the back if his head, kissing him passionately. "My God..calm down.." he said smiling to himself.

"Don't forget to stir them up when you hear them pop!" John called again.

"Yes yes! Ok!" Freddie called back and opened the top drawer to get a spoon. When he heard them pop, he uncovered the lid to stir them up.

The kernels started to attack him at once. "What the fuck?! John! they fly out of the fucking pot!!" he exclaimed taking the saucepan in his hands, spinning around himself as the kernels kept spattering all over the place.

John came in with his eyes wide open at the sight in front of him. He couldn't hold his laughs "why- why would you open the lid?" he managed through laughs.

"To stir those little devils up! You told me to stir them up!" Freddie whined, holding the saucepan with both hands as far from him as he could.

"Not with a spoon!" John exclaimed and threw his hands in the air. "Here, give me that!" he wiped a tear and took the pan from Freddie's hands, immediately covering it with the lid.

"Be- be careful! It's a tricky business!" Freddie said with worried eyes.

"There's nothing tricky in making popcorn sweetie!" John laughed. "Look! you were supposed to do this!" he said and started shaking the pot gently, back and forth.

"Aww" Freddie pouted his lips.

"..and they are ready!" John said as he saw Freddie looking carefully at him. "That simple!" he teased and put the popcorn in a bowl.

"You.. you wanted me to make a fool of myself..that's why you didn't tell me the secret.." Freddie smiled and skillfully snaked himself between John and the counter, touching John's front with his back. He was picking a hand full of popcorn to shove it into his mouth when he felt John's breath on his neck. A shiver ran down his spine as he felt John slightly wriggle his body behind him but it was over before he could even blink.

"We..we can watch the movie now.." John said, taking Freddie by his hand and walking back to the sitting room. "You can clean the kitchen tomorrow, ok?" he asked and sat Freddie down on the couch.

"Sure..." Freddie nodded eagerly, giving John the impression that he didn't hear a word of what John had just said.

Freddie brought his legs in front of his torso and rested his back on the couch watching John put some more logs in the fireplace. 'He squirmed.. why did he squirm? Did he feel anything that made him squirm?' he wondered as he fixed his eyes on his own bulge. 'Ok ok, there's no reason to panic..you never panic in situations like this..you just have to stop thinking about it and it'll go away..'

John sat next to him and took the popcorn in his hands. He started the movie again, trying to focus his mind on the screen and not on Freddie who was pressed against him.

Freddie kept surprisingly silent during the better part of the movie. He also insisted on watching it with the lights turned off because "how are we gonna preserve the movie atmosphere, dear?" surprising John, who didn't fail to see Freddie fidget in his seat, every time the Mother was expected to make her appearance. He saw Freddie buzzing around, squeezing him lightly on his arm every now and then, or even shut his ears with his palms and hide his face in John's chest and that made him fidget too.

"Freddie, do you want me to stop the movie?" John asked when he felt him wriggle again, making John fidget a little in his seat, too and play nervously with his shirt. Again.

"What? No no nooo" he replied trying to sound normal. "I'll just sit like this, dear" he assured John, wrapping his arms around him. "See? I'm fine! Is that ok with you?" he said and pressed his body even closer to John's. He was so close to sitting on his lap when he buried his head in John's crook, near his neck, when the moment supreme -of the movie- came.

"Look! look!" he patted Freddie on his head but Freddie only tugged John's shirt tighter in his fist and shook his head, refusing to turn his face on the tv.

Five minutes later, the movie ended and Freddie was still there, almost sitting on John's lap, having his arms wrapped tightly around his waist.

"Hey, it's ok now.." John smiled "You can open your eyes"

"Mmm?" Freddie hummed, moving slightly his head from John's crook, bringing his mouth a few inches away from John's. Neither of them fidgeted.

"You are safe now" John taunted when he saw Freddie remain entangled in him. He lifted his left hand and caressed his hair "why did you pick this movie, silly?"

"Because... I-I wanted...I thought I could handle it.." he mumbled and when he felt John squirm,again, he slowly unwrapped himself from him. "I guess this movie is not for me.." he concluded, without looking at John, having a huge blush on his cheeks.

"It's ok" John said quietly and got up. "I'll be back in a minute. Why don't you make us a cup of tea?"

Freddie smiled shyly, glancing at John with the corner of his eye.

"I'll turn on the light" John teased.

Freddie let a nervous laugh and got up. "I'll be in the kitchen..when you..come back" he said as John walked up the stairs in a hurry.

~~~~

John always liked a nice, hot cup of tea before going to bed. It was a kind of ceremony for him since he was a child. It helped him relax and enjoy his sleep better.

When he returned to the kitchen, about 5 minutes later, he found Freddie sitting in his favorite spot, drinking from his cup.

"Everything all right?" John asked, taking his cup in his hands.

"I broke up with Mary" he stated, looking at the table.

John stared at him and somehow Freddie must have felt his stare cause he lifted his head to look at him.

"Today.. when you left"

John sat in the chair across him. "How do you feel?" he asked him.

Freddie took a deep breath before answering "I feel...relieved" he started and licked his lips. Without lowering his head he continued "I don't think I can keep pretending...that I'm in love with her" his voice was calm and peaceful. He felt a huge burden was lifted from his soul... He had made a huge step today and he was proud of himself.

"It's chilly in here... you wanna go to the couch?" he asked when John didn't say anything.

John nodded and got up. After he put more logs to the fire, they sat at their previous positions on the couch, with Freddie next to John, slightly touching his shoulder with his hand as he went on "I do love her...but I'm not in love with her...not anymore" he confessed, "I like her as a friend...But she isn't what I want...do you know what I mean?" he asked with an air of expectancy in his voice.

"Mm hmm" John nodded. "I do"

"I can't be with her anymore Deaky...I should... I should have broken up with her earlier..but I was scared"

"Scared of what? Is there anyone else?" John turned his head to him and saw a faint smile on his face.

Freddie didn't answer his questions and John thought it would be better if he would let him talk without interrupting. He let him talk, about whatever he wanted to talk about.. and at the end Freddie fell asleep next to John. They lay there together, breaths in complete synchronization, with John's hands wrapped around Freddie without talking, only listening to the soothing crackling of the fire until he, too, was fast asleep.

#deacury #freddie mercury #john deacon #queen band #queen #queenfic #fanfic #my first fanfic #fluff

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thelarryficrecplace · 6 years

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Happy New Year babes!

Hope 2018 will be everything you want it to be!

Here’s some New Year fics to celebrate:

2018 and The Rest of Forever by StayTillTheAM:

Summary: Or the New Year’s Eve fic where 2017 refused to give Louis his soulmate, and 2018 might change that for him.

Word count: 4,714

I Think I’m Addicted to Your Light by supernope:

Summary: Louis is just zipping back up when the door swings open with a swell of noise and someone shuffles up next to him, shoes tapping loudly against the tile floor. Louis turns to see who’s walked in and just violated the code of the men’s toilet by taking the urinal next to him and is met with wide, green eyes and red lips stretched into a brilliant smile.

Word count: 9,241

six feet beneath the moon by starseas:

Summary: harry and louis meet at a going away party.

Word count: 25,292

Running Down To The Riptide by sweaterpawstyles:

Summary: It's New Year's Eve and Harry has a surprise under his sweater

Word count: 4,289

the clock is ticking, ticking by smokinglarry:

Summary: Louis' timer is about to hit zero in a few seconds and he's stood at Westminster Bridge because it's New Year's Eve and here are so many people, how is Louis supposed to find his soulmate ? He's lost.

Word count: 2,875

So Baby Tonight Just Be the Death of Me by crimsontheory:

Summary: An AU where Louis is new in town and Harry invites him to a New Year's party.

Word count: 12,985

throw me a dream please, it's been a dreamless sleep by bravefortheboys:

Summary: it's New Year's Eve and Louis is trying to gain the title of 'official boyfriend' of some asshole who doesn't deserve him by completing ridiculous tasks, but he can't really help fonding over the goofy stranger who's helping him out

Word count: 5,708

promise not to fade away by you_explode:

Summary: Louis is an A&R rep, and Harry is a singer/songwriter. They meet on New Years Eve.

Word count: 9,957

till our wide eyes burn blind by wonderously:

Summary: au. harry and louis get snowed in together on new year's eve.

Word count: 7,701

It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year by HazxLou:

Summary: Louis hated New Year's Eve. But he was secretly hoping this one would give him a reason not to.

Word count: 5,022

#larry #larry fic #larry fics #larry fic rec #larry fic recs #fic #fics #fic rec #larry stylinson fics #larry stylinson #new year #happy new year #2018 #new year's fic #new year's fics #holidays fic

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porchwood · 6 years

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Unposted Fic Bits from 2017: Modern Marko/Prim

College student!Prim and bachelor baker!Marko in a disgustingly fluffy premise slightly inspired by Dharma & Greg. A snippet of this was previously posted as a writing check-in.

By 10am, it’s already been a long day, and I’m drowsily eyeing the clock in the corner of the register screen when a pale blur appears in front of the counter. I glance up, then down again at a young woman – girl, really; twenty at the absolute most – with a wide, merry mouth, high cheekbones, and hair like frost and cream, spangled with actual flakes of thawing snow.

A veritable Christmas angel, never mind it’s still a week to Thanksgiving.

She smiles up at me in greeting. Her eyes are a stunning shade of blue that just might be violet, and her skin is downright porcelain – even fairer against her mint-green sweater.

“I know this is ridiculous, but do you have gingerbread yet?” she asks.

I blink owlishly at the vision while I try to think where I left the forceps to remove that kidney she asked for, and she elaborates, “I mean: gingerbread syrup, for lattes. I know it’s not even Thanksgiving but it’s been snowing like crazy and I’m having a hankering for gingerbread.”

I shake off the trance and transition neatly into Customer Service Mode. There’s no need to get spoony over a pretty college student, never mind this is the first time it’s happened since…well, ever.

“We like Christmas around here too,” I reply with a grin and duck over to the espresso machine to lift the newly stocked bottles of Monin gingerbread and peppermint syrups for her to see. “We've even got eggnog in the cooler.”

“Oh, I love you,” she declares, and my heart skips a beat. “Can I get a grande eggnog latte with gingerbread syrup?”

Strictly speaking, drink-making isn’t really my job, let alone my forte, but Luka’s in the back wrapping grab-and-go sandwiches and Peeta’s not due till 11 today, and I’ll be danged if I let any of our new-hire “baristas” make this angel’s latte.

I decide to throw in a square of fresh gingerbread on the house; the dark, moist, cakey stuff that hasn’t caught on yet but I’m almost certain she’ll enjoy.

And then I get the most amazing idea. “Do you trust me?” I ask her.

“Well, I did just ask you to make me a drink, so I suppose that’s a yes,” she answers impishly. “It doesn’t have to be fabulous, just festive.”

“I want to make you something – something different,” I explain, breathier than I intend. “Still using the gingerbread and eggnog, and I’m fairly certain it’ll be tasty, but if it isn’t I’ll make whatever you want to replace it and you can keep both drinks, free of charge.”

Her antennae perk up at the word free but she quickly demurs, “That sounds awesome, but you really don’t have to do that. I’ll pay for whatever you have in mind –”

“I’m honestly not even sure how to ring it up,” I admit. “It’s a new idea that you just inspired.” She raises her brows at this and my cheeks burn. “I-I know it’s cold out, but do you drink cold coffee too?” I stammer. “Frappes, I mean.”

I wince as I say it, because the last thing I want is to imply that she’s a foofy college girl who goes to Starbucks for Caramel Waffle Cone Frappuccinos, and I’m relieved to my bones when she replies, without a flicker of offense, “Sure, if it’s unique and tasty. And there has to be actual espresso – the real stuff, pulled as a shot, not that syrup concentrate junk that they try to pass off.”

“I wouldn’t dream of giving you anything else,” I assure her. “Where are you sitting? I’ll bring it out.”

She gestures behind her at a booth, its tabletop filled with a neat assortment of textbooks, folders, and notebooks. “In for the long haul?” I tease, and she nods.

“Anatomy final tomorrow,” she replies gravely. “I know I’m probably overpreparing, but I kind of geek out on this stuff.”

“Two shots, then?” I say, and she grins.

“Sounds perfect,” she replies, and glances at my name tag. “Thanks, Marko,” she says cheerfully and heads back to her study nook, taking my flailing heart with her.

I’m grateful for the relative quiet as I pull together the makings of what absolutely needs to be the most amazing drink I’ve ever prepared and wonder what in the world has come over me. We get the gamut of clientele here – college kids, savvy new grads, career women on their way to work or a quick lunch hour, and more than a few pretty faces among them – but no one’s ever affected me like this girl; not even Greta, my grade school crush. I want to kiss her to bits and take care of her and fill her with fat blond babies all at once.

I shake my head fiercely and offer up a silent prayer as I drop a square of gingerbread into the eggnog-and-espresso mixture in the blender. Ice and a hearty splash of gingerbread syrup round things out, and I press my lips together in hope as the ingredients noisily break down to a sippable consistency: a deep golden beverage with dark flecks of gingerbread crumbs.

There’s too much of the resulting drink for even our largest cold cup to accommodate, so I fill the 20-ounce to capacity and toss the rest into a 12-ounce for myself. I’m both eager and reluctant to steal a sip but I needn’t have worried; while relatively new to drink-making, I’ve been in the food business for eons, and this gingerbread frappe is downright to die for – a must for our holiday drinks menu. I’d love to run a taster back to Luka because I know he’ll love it too, but I don’t want him to find out about the girl, for some reason. She’s like a dream that I want to keep just for me.

I garnish the drink with a towering, precarious heap of whipped cream, cinnamon, and nutmeg, top it off with a straw, and duck around the counter to carry it reverently to the girl’s booth.

She looks up as I approach and gives a delighted, giggling, “Oh good Lord!” as I place the cup in front of her. “That looks amazing,” she breathes, and takes a long, rapturous sip, punctuated by an exquisite little moan that makes something clench deep in my belly. “Oh my gosh, you have to try this!” she exclaims, offering the cup back to me. “Or did you already try it?”

For some reason this makes me blush violently. “I stole a sip of what didn’t fit in here, to make sure it tasted okay,” I reply, but she insistently passes over the cup. “You have to try it in context,” she says. “Properly, from the straw.”

I can’t comprehend her wanting to share a straw with a man she’s only just met, let alone the bakery employee who just made her drink, but I equally can’t deny how wonderful it would be to place my lips where hers were a moment ago. I bring the straw to my mouth and taste marshmallow lip balm before the frappe hits my tongue.

It's the closest thing to a kiss – a real one, not a quick, awkward peck at the end of a blind date, and more often than not on the cheek – that I’ve experienced in my twenty-eight years and I wonder if it’s excruciatingly obvious to her. “It’s good,” I gulp. “Even better than I expected.”

“Please, let me pay you for it,” she entreats. “I know I’m a poor college student so I shouldn’t be balking at any gift horses, but this is at least a five dollar drink, and I know you can’t write off everything as samples.”

And I realize: this is my moment. This is the part where I’m supposed to wink and give a debonair smile as I tell her, “No charge, but I’d love your number,” or maybe ask her out for dinner. If she likes me even a little she’s supposed to say yes, and if she doesn’t I can dismiss the mortification by thanking her anyway and insisting no charge for the drink. Mellarks may be terrible at the business of asking out the objects of their affection, but this opportunity practically flung itself into my lap. My heart is pummeling my eardrums and my breath is shaky and I blurt out the words in a rush.

“Will you marry me?”

I bite my lips together to prevent me gaping at her in horror. It’s the last thing I ever meant to say, but now that it’s out, I’m strangely glad. There was something inevitable about asking this beautiful girl to marry me and I’ll probably never see her again – it’s pretty much a cert after this – and at least now I can’t kick myself for “what might have been.”

Her brows are justifiably aloft but somehow, she doesn’t look offended or upset or freaked out, just surprised. “Um,” she says. “I’m a poor college student, so that really wouldn’t be me doing you any favors.”

“You’d be my wife,” I croak, and consider biting off my tongue. “That’s better than a lifetime’s worth of Christmas presents, let alone five-dollar frappes.”

She takes about five excruciating seconds to look me over from head to toe. I’ve been up since 2am and in the kitchen since 3:00, up to my elbows in flour and yeast. I showered before bed last night but I don’t remember the last time I ran a comb over my curls, to say nothing of tidying up my No-Shave Novembeard, which is mountain-man bushy and extends halfway down my neck.

I can only be grateful that the cold weather keeps the kitchen brisk or I’d be running around in an undershirt, looking about as sexy as my dad.

I’m about to turn around and scramble back to the safety of said kitchen when the girl says, or maybe decides: “Okay. Yes, I’ll marry you.”

I slide into the booth seat opposite her a split second before my knees give way. “You don’t have to humor me,” I tell her, my pulse flailing, but my voice and mind are oddly calm and clear.

“I’m not,” she replies, almost patiently, and reaches over to set a hand on mine, making me jump in my skin. “You’re good-looking, generous, and incredibly nice,” she says. “I’m flattered, to be honest, and I’d love to be your wife.”

“I’m off at 11,” some madman answers in my voice. “We could get married over lunch, if you want.”

She tips her head, considering, and gets up from her seat; to leave, obviously – but no, she simply comes around to my side of the booth and scoots in beside me. “Hold my hand?” she asks, and leans against my shoulder as I clumsily comply. Her hand is half the size of mine, all bird-boned wrist and slender fingers, and I swallow back a whimper at how incredible she feels. It’s all I can do not to dip my face and bury it in her fragrant pale hair.

“You smell amazing,” she sighs, nuzzling her face against my shoulder. “And you feel so good.”

“So do you,” I whisper, my voice a thread, as I dare to stroke the back of her hand with my thumb.

“Okay,” she says again, raising her head to regard me directly. “I’m done with class for the day. Let’s get married.”

“I’m Marko,” I croak, and she chuckles.

“I caught that,” she teases, tracing my name tag with a fingertip and making me shiver. “Mellark?” she wonders, nodding at the bakery logo beneath my name, and I nod. “I’m Prim – um, Primrose – Everdeen,” she says, with the smallest of apologetic winces.

“It’s a beautiful name,” I breathe. “You’re beautiful, Prim.”

She grins through an exquisite blush. “Aww, thank you,” she says. “I was beginning to think you only liked me for my taste in espresso beverages, or maybe my penchant for holiday flavors.”

“Well, there is that,” I reply, and she curls an arm over to hug me, making my heart swell and threaten to burst its bounds.

“Oh, Marko,” she sighs against my shoulder. “This really is going to work.”

I tentatively slip my arms around her torso, shyly hugging her in return and holding her close all at once, and she makes a delicious sound of surprise. “Oh my God, you feel good,” she moans. “You’re really sure you want to marry me? Because I want more than anything in the world to come home to you tonight and curl up in your arms on the sofa.”

“I only have a loveseat,” I warn in a rasp and she giggles.

“All the better for cuddling,” she points out, and leans up to peck my cheek, just above the line of my beard, with an impish kiss. “It’s a little out of the way,” she says, “but do you want me to run home and change into a dress or something?”

“No,” I answer firmly, because I’m terrified if she leaves she’ll never come back, and somehow this will all end up being an impossibly wonderful dream. “I want to marry you just like this,” I add, a little more softly, and raise a brave hand to her hair. “You’re so beautiful just as you are,” I whisper, shivering at the feel of silky blonde waves beneath my fingers.

“What did I do to get you?” she whispers back. “I was just looking for a place to study and this place had espresso drinks and WiFi.”

I grin, because Dad had resisted adding either one of those and I’ve never been happier that he eventually gave in. “Well, since I was the one who suggested we add the espresso machine, I’d call it fate,” I reply, and kiss the tip of her nose, making her squeak.

“Your whiskers tickle,” she explains, rubbing at her lips, where I must have inadvertently brushed against her with my beard, but she looks positively mirthful at the discovery. “This should be fun,” she says, tracing my mouth with a fingertip, and I swallow a yelp at an answering tug from my groin.

I’m a grown man with a very grown-up degree of self-control, but erections usually hit me at night; rarely in public and never at this proximity, and it’s all I can do not to peel Prim off my side and bodily return her to her side of the booth.

Then again, we could very well be married in an hour or two and go straight home to bed. I could be making love with my wife before suppertime –

“I should get back to work,” I blurt and make a clumsy lunge toward the edge of the booth, but of course Prim is still nestled between me and the exit and I end up flinging myself against her.

“You could’ve just asked me to move,” she says, confused but not quite hurt, and my perpetual flush burns crimson across my cheekbones.

“I’m so sorry,” I tell her. “I’m…incredibly attracted to you, and I was trying to make a run for it before I made a fool of myself.”

“What would be so bad about that?” she wonders, and I have the sudden horrifying-yet-wonderful thought that maybe she really doesn’t know what I mean. She’s too beautiful to have never slept with a guy – something I hadn’t stopped to think about before now and which makes me a little sad to acknowledge – or at the very least, to have fooled around with the equipment. And for pity’s sake, she’s in an Anatomy class, so she’s either training for some branch of healthcare or in art school. Either way, the workings of the male body can’t possibly be a mystery to her.

Or can they?

“I’m sorry, Marko,” she says suddenly. “I didn’t think about this being your family’s bakery, where the last thing you want is to be seen cuddling with a girl.”

“No, that would not be good,” I agree gratefully. “At least, not until I’ve taken her ‘round and introduced her properly as my wife.”

She smiles at the prospect and inches out of the booth. “You’re absolutely sure about this?” she says. “I mean, there’s no saying we can’t date for a little while – or heck, get engaged –”

“Would you rather?” I ask, slipping out of the booth to stand beside her, and she gazes properly up at me for the first time. She’s not especially short but her head is at a level with my heart, which feels strangely appropriate.

“You’re really tall,” she observes, and slips her arms around my waist, hugging me soundly. “And no, I don’t want to wait,” she murmurs into my chest as my own arms drift around her. “I want to marry you this afternoon, if you’re still okay with that.”

“I’m so okay with that,” I whisper, curling forward to kiss the crown of her head. Her body feels like heaven held against mine, slim and strong with alluring curves tucked here and there, and I lift her up onto her toes as I hold her closer to me. “I have to run back to the kitchen for a bit, sweetheart,” I murmur, “but I’ll be back as soon as I can and I’ll pack us a lunch to boot, okay?”

“So much better than okay,” she sighs, sinking back on her heels. “I’ve got more than enough studying to keep me busy till you’re free.”

I return to the kitchen on a cloud, my absence unnoticed by any but Luka, who’s frowning as he pockets his cell. “Peet’s in bed with stomach flu,” he says. “He says he tried to get up and dressed but he’s got a fever, chills, puking, the whole thing.”

“I can’t stay past 11,” I blurt, terrified I’ll blush, but my brother shakes his head.

“Wouldn’t ask you,” he says. “The baristas can fill in through lunch and Dad can probably hang out till 4, but I need help with the special orders this afternoon.”

#2017 in review #primko #virgin!everlark #:)#marko/prim #modern au #luka's married in this one #with baby elske to boot #and peeta/katniss will inevitably get pulled in over the precipitous union

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thedarkestgreys · 1 year

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2022 was by far the most prolific year of writing fanfic I’ve had in the decade I’ve been doing this. 252k words published in fact, and 212k of that was Fexi fic. I owe a big thank you to all of you who’ve read and reblogged and commented on my fic this year, who’ve encouraged me and held my hand during moments of self doubt. I’m eternally grateful. 🖤

🪦 The Fexi Hades/Persephone Verse 💐

‘till our wide eyes burn blind

or: fez steals lexi // rated m // 938 words // on-going

one taste and you’ll be mine

or: lexi wants to stay with fez // rated m // 3.2k words // complete

🎡 One Shots 🎃

my heart’s gone double time

or: the s1 carnival au // rated m // 5.1k words // complete

the stray lines that unwind you

or: the sleepover au // rated m // 6.7k words // complete

to love you with the sweetest of devotion

or: the baby au // rated m // 2.6k words // complete

It’s The Great Pumpkin, Fezco O’Neill

or: the halloween au // rated m // 3.7k words // complete

🌌 Multi-Chapter 🏜

don’t you dream impossible things?

or: the stardust au // rated e // 15.5k words // 1/3 on-going

all of you, all of me (intertwined)

or: the desert fexi au // rated e // 15k words // 6/6 complete

💊 The Supercut Verse 📚

your violent overnight rush

or: the post s2e8 au // rated e // 141.8k words // 21/42 on-going

(after the storm) something was born on the fourth of july

or: the yvor au // rated e // 17.8k words // 3/3 complete

#fic: ‘till our wide eyes burn blind #fic: one taste and you’ll be mine #fic: double time #fic: the stray lines that unwind you #fic: to love you with the sweetest of devotion #fic: it’s the great pumpkin #fic: don’t you dream impossible things?#fic: intertwined #fic: your violent overnight rush #fic: after the storm #fexi fanfiction #fexi hive #thedarkestgreys 2022 masterlist

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diamondsaregold · 7 years

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Maxwell x MC - A Playlist

Background Info: “When his arms lace around us, it’s as if the ballroom is set on fire.” After three months of wrestling with myself to make a playlist that would do this boy justice, I’m so excited to share this with you all. ✨ Click on each song title for the link. I highly recommend listening while looking at the visuals, lyrics, and analysis. 😉

You can find Drake x MC here and Zig x MC here.

1) “She’s American” The 1975 A youthful, atmospheric alt rock ode to fleeting moments and foreigners.

A big town Synthetic apparitions of not being lonely ----- Oh, she's dancing, enthralling, I guess I gotta wait my turn I said, “Don't fall in love with the moment.” She said, “I've got a lot to learn.” ----- There's no more water in this city But be careful or you'll drown You think you've got it figured out ----- And we're socially relevant, she’s American

New York comes alive in the night, brimming with the adrenaline and anticipation of what’s next. Meeting the waitress with the beaming smile and sparkling eyes is a most appreciated welcome.

When we step out the door with hair loose around our shoulders and face flushed, he can’t help but think that America truly is a breath of fresh air. Away from the darkened memories of home, he allows himself let his mind, unrestrained, roam over the possibilities.

Even when he secures his own fate, as the palace moves closer in the airplane window, he still thinks of that night, painted indigo by our smile.

2) “Roxanne” Chase Atlantic A magnetic pop rock anthem to desperation and young love. Partially inspired this fic: “The sunlight, it scatters.”

I don't ever wanna let you down No, I just want to kiss your lips in the rain You know I'll pull you closer if you start to drown, drown ----- And now it's burning my mind That you left me inside With your lips and your thighs You pull them closer to mine ----- Roxanne I think we should go but I'm not sure enough

When his arms lace around us, it’s as if the ballroom is set on fire. As we twirl about the floor and his hands trace slow patterns on our waist, we finally understand the magic of fairytales. How it feels to be swept away into another world.

Too soon, though, his deep blue gaze skirts away from us. His hands are up, his eyes shadowed with doubt and something else, longing. Before we can summon an apology, an explanation, his mask slips on. In a flash of regret, we’re whisked away into the arms of the prince. All he can do is stare at our retreating frame, and try to forget the warmth of our skin.

3) “The Saltwater Room” (Ocean Eyes Version) Owl City A wistful, sweet electronica duet to beachside dreaming and shy lovers.

All my islands have sunk, in the deep And I can hardly relax or even oversleep But I feel warm with your hand in mine When we walk along the shoreline I guess we'll never know, why sparrows love the snow We'll turn out all of the lights and set this ballroom aglow ----- Time together isn't ever quite enough When you and I are alone, I've never felt so at home What will it take to make or break this hint of love? Only time, only time

There is a sweet innocence to the little sparks in between us. He’s rendered speechless when we step out of the changing room; we shyly admit that the few moments we share have meant everything to us.

Even when surprise, reproach, flickers across his sunburned face, our smile wavers only a little.

As we lay back against the sand with enough distance to pretend that the burning heat comes from the sun, we close our eyes. The ocean air whisks away the rigidity of palace duties, leaving nothing but the taste of serenity and stillness.

4) “Good Girls” LANY A euphoric electro indie-pop song that evokes summer nights and chances.

Dancing on the line of a dangerous love You could break me overnight But there's no one like us Insatiably insane Equally exchanged ----- Throw it all away cause you do what you want ----- I know my way around your heart Don't start thinking, “Things have kinda changed. They're different from what they are.”

Spurred by the electric beat and the freedom of our night out, we stride over to Maxwell. His effortless confidence on the dance floor, paired with the teasing grins that he saves for us, gives us the courage to close the distance a bit more.

As we laugh and spin around in his arms, it feels as if we’re home again. Seeing our favorite guy thriving in his element lights the whole room up.

Our steps and smiles grow brighter as the night goes on.

5) “Cherry” Luna Shadows An airy, soaring dream-pop tune that aches for a relationship that cannot be. Inspired this fic: “The Time it Took to Fall”

I’m hanging from your lips, dancing in your stillness While you're killing this — But only say the words and I’ll be yours. ----- All my friends say: “stop wasting your days on a runaway — Never mind the time it took to fall” ----- Cause darling, if you call me, I'll come running Just let me turn out all the lights In the dead of night Cause I'm your lovely Burning for my turn to be your one and your only

Holding him is elusive. The dismay on his face, at our confession that we’ve strayed from the Prince, hits us as hard as rejection. But it’s only when Maxwell steers quickly around our questions and stops us from getting too close, that the ache in our chest threatens to spill over.

He refuses to see the truth—that we are not searching for the perfect lover or ending scene, but him. It’s not the promise of a future that we ask for; it’s today. And that, already, is too much for him to give.

As the glassy smile stretches across his face, we hurry away, shrinking our hope before we say too much again.

That night, Maxwell dreams of unspoken promises and faceless dance partners.

6) “Changes” Mutemath A whirring, electro-rock number to lonely reflections and towering doubts.

You pay for the right, but what is there? When every place in the world is all built up And every space in the herd is all filled up I can hear all the obsolete From a landfill, singing out I'm just suffering from changes Locked outside for good Paper cut by turning pages Sitting under dust cause I'm not understood

Desire, once set afire, cannot be doused so easily—as Maxwell soon discovers. His attempts to quell it only create more flame, and more frantic attempts to cover up the growing blaze. As tensions rise, his practiced responses and avoidance turn harsh. He cuts us off, snaps at his brother, and for the first time in weeks, gazes at us with unbridled longing in our room. For once, he does not hide. After all, letting the want surge through his veins is a welcome respite from everything he’s done wrong—from the fire that he is sure will burn down this entire, weary house.

7) “Roman Holiday” Halsey A nostalgic, synth pop ballad to youthful escapades and a love that can’t quite get the timing right.

Late December with my heart in my chest and the clouds of my breath Didn't know where we were running to But don't look back ---- I imagine the tears in your eyes The very first night I'll sleep without you ----- We'll be looking for sunlight Or the headlights Till our wide eyes burn blind ----- And our heart's gone And the timing's never right But for now let's get away On a Roman holiday

It’s supposed to be an ending. Yet that night, we dart out of the ballroom with him, giggling like teenagers. Our fears of getting caught are thrown to the wind in more than one way.

Standing but a few inches shy of us, in the hallway where this whole story began, Maxwell commits our breathless laughter to memory. It strikes him that after all this time, looking at us still feels the same way as that first magical night in New York.

As we press our cheek to his and sense the longing in his heavy sighs, in the burning gaze that he still forces away from us, we can’t help but that this is not quite what we expected.

No, it’s a million times better. We’ll drink this secluded moment in until the end. (Until the next one takes us away again.)

#maxwell beaumont #maxwell x mc #the royal romance #trr #playchoices #choices stories you play #playlist #my playlists

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sonofhistory · 7 years

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Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4

American Revolution RPF, American History RPF, 18th Century CE RPF

Nathan Hale (1755-1776)/Benjamin Tallmadge

Tags: Young Love, Last Kiss, Brief Smut, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Emotional Roller Coaster, Cuddling & Snuggling, This is the last time they ever see each other, Foreshadowing Death, Fight Scene, Tags will be updated

Part 2 of the Early American History | Stories They Won’t Tell series (fics places in the series get rearranged by date in happens in)

All Fic Total Words: 9,187

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September 15th, 1776 || 3:47 p.m.

6 days, 7 hours, 50 minutes till Nathan Hale’s death

“But here, I think you’re wrong, to blame,

your gen’rous muse and and call her lame.”

_______________________

Nathan Hale could not sleep. His eyes floated back up to the roof of the tent, staring at the sheeting fabric sewn together at the corners in the flash of a simmering candle in the oil lamp. He lifted Ben’s head off of his bare breast, setting it on the single pillow he was lying on and sat up on the cot stiffly, his space filling. With goosebumps rising on the sleeping man’s surface, he tugged the blanket up to the undercut of their chin, slipping off feet onto the ground, grabbing his shirt from the corner of the bed, sliding it over his arms and shoulders but not bothering to button the front up.

He ran his fingers through the front of his hair, combing it back with his nails, sitting back down on the edge of the cot, narrowing his shoulders and his eyes once again dipped to the sleeping man on the bed. With his curly, unruly cinnamon locks, without a ribbon now, the strands tumbling messily against his lower back and his collar bone, barely sweeping the curve of his spine. Nathan sighed, his shoulders declining, fixing out his tense muscles. He wondered what time it was now, it was still dark, perhaps three in the morning? There was no ability to rest left in him, wide awake now. He gazed at Ben’s chest as it fluttered up and down, and his ears twitched in their state making him wonder just what kind of dreams played behind those eyelids this night.

Their brows arched, etching out further those two wrinkles at the center of his brow--he was only twenty-two, why were there already markings on his sheath?

Tenaciously, his own hand departed the cot and aligned upon those two nicks, tracing them with his cracked nail as one would gentle rub a stain from their clothing; they were anything but so. Riveting longingly at a portrait of the most perfect being in his perspective. Fingers stumbling across a dancefloor of flesh, with hands that had already memorized the contours of his spine, ears absorbing the music of those sleepy sighs escaping from his lips. He wanted to write down exactly how he felt as his vision scoped down, trailing the indigo veins until they culminated at his wrist, he knew the paper would remain empty. He could not of described it any better.

Of everything he’d ever seen in his twenty-one years, of anything he’d touched, he kept on touching him , wrapping his grip around that wrist where it lay limp, rising it to his lips, pressing a kiss into his lifelines. It was his bronze laughter, it spread across rooms as hues of the same shape transform the skies. The Connecticut boy felt like scarlet and the most consuming passion, with its vehement divulging shades ripping their pictures around his silhouette. Their lips would meet delicately enough to not crush the rose petals of his skin, no less the devotion as the colors erupted together in the atmosphere revealing the most dazzling display of light.

Dawn was breaking as their interaction stole form across the heavens. A fleeting juncture in a world that romanticized the universe. Nathan’s palm glided up to flicker down his abdomen his touch merely ghosting with fluttering wings like a butterfly, Ben’s gut tightened, coiling in on itself. His smoothing caress arrived to those hips that did not feel quite the same, protruding a little too much and a stomach that now revealed the bottom rib when he inhaled. Nathan frowned, just as exquisite as before in his most innocent form. But, Nathan Hale craved so much more than just form. He wallowed for depth, and for a soul. Something to burn him up with purpose and desire, wishing to be reduced to ashes by it but learn that he could rise from the embers just as fast. An attraction for things that would destroy him in the end.

Nathan lay his now tired skull back upon the pillow, his face falling allineate with the man he’d studied so earnestly. Their noses brushed, he shut his eyes slowly, edging closer and pressing a kiss against Ben’s lips. Maybe it was an aspiration for the taste of his lips that flashed him to the scent of everything after it had rained, but the sunshine comes out. The lapping sound against the slippery cobblestones and the shamrock moss in between each carving pebble. Tree bark, pine needles weaves with how calm lakes feel against his skin on steamy summer nights with beads of sweat shimmering down the back of his neck and Ben’s form slipping between the water, stunning in the reflection of the moon across the rippling water.

It was every marvelous memory swaddled at the corners of his mouth. He eased his burdens to share his joy and content in his sorrow. Every breath exchanged between urged jaws tasted limitless. Boundary lines pleading with ardent flesh with only that nods could utter. Out of his mortality, that hungers and his tongue that comes to know the semblance in seeking reason. The curvature of his lover’s waiting body fits into his wanting hand, breast warm as sunlight, pressures quick between his thighs. Ben was still asleep as he let go, sensing a stranger shift in his bones as if doing something for the very last time without knowing it. The last time he’d kiss, or the last time he’d kiss Ben?

He felt his heartbeat on his fingertips as he shifted phantom strokes over Ben’s eyelids, spiraling down his nose and around his cheek before sloping to his chin and he drew his pads off, stationing a hand on their chest above his frantic heart. Air plummeted all to quick out of his lungs and he failed to breath, something warmed his veins and his eyes widened. Underneath the layers of skin, and the ribs, the muscle and bone, he was closer to anybody that he had ever been in his entire life. His palm was becoming a prisoner to the rhythm of that pulse.

“You keep your soul in your eyes, Damon.”

“Is that so, Pythias?”

“You unlock it for selective few, but whenever it tis’ there, it guides its arms to the center of my chest.”

“Then you must keep your soul in your chest.”

“How so?”

“Silly question. My soul can always find you.”

Nathan blinked, as the absence of day ceased and darkness crawled back towards the Earth. Those ravenous tinctures of bronze and scarlet brimming up the heavens, shallowing across the tent. Still blind to the time, it must be four-thirty.

It was time to leave.

Reluctance with strings like a violin swarming about him and leaping him back, he shook them off loosely, tipping back up, throwing his feet to the floor and hovering off the cot. He buttoned up the front of his open shirt, plucking down the sleeves to where they washed the coat of his forearm. Pausing to pull the blanket back up to Ben’s chin before passing across the tent; gathering his coat, slipping it over his arms, straightening out the collar remembering Ben’s tormented eyebrows meeting at the center of his brow as he did the same, standing above him, his outline against the eventide and Nathan’s arms behind his head with the most innocence he could establish. For justice, perhaps a copy to keep with him so that he’d carry a movement with him, he mirrored Ben, rubbing two fingers over his collar to straighten the material.

He stood, tugged his boots on, rounding up all of his hair with two hands at the center of the base of his neck, re-doing the ribbon and looping it into his golden fibers once again. He circulated his eyelids, ripping at the corner of his eyes and not sensing the least bit of exhaustion. He tucked his waistcoat into his waist and slid the jacket completely over his torso, ceasing; he was done. Something plunged in his stomach, a cloudy pit of despair; there was nothing left. A moment of dread waded over him. He was done.

Nathan Hale glanced back over to the cot and the man with his face buried in the pillow and rouge coating his eyelids. He didn’t want the chaos to leave him, not ever. It kept him wild, in strange ways of unique attraction. Tonight everything seemed to of made sense, except for the way Ben made him feel. He would depart from his eyes and he wondered if he would remember when he was gone how beautiful it was to feel. How guilty he felt knowing Ben would be waking up in the morning with half shut eyes, reaching automatically for the spot in the bed and remember just about all of his depression.

Tears threatened to drowl from him, but he blinked them back sternly disciplining himself, composing, clenching a jaw in retaliation. He strided back towards gape of the tent, prepared to step out when he heard the cot’s joints creek. Incoherent murmurs flooded the room and he turned back, following the sound and landing on Ben. What began as a mere rustle revolved into kicking, rolling his neck back and forth whimpering. Nathan breathed, rejoining the foot of the cot when the screaming started. “No!”, a shout forced from the sleeping man’s throat, his chest racing up and down, sticky sweat clinging to the strands touching his forehead, “You can’t take him!”, a sob billowed in his chest.

Nathan gathered on his ankles, throwing himself onto the cot, “Ben! Wake up!”

Ben didn’t change, tears flooding onto his cheeks like oceans. His eyelids barely parted, and a sob emerged from his lungs, throwing himself into Nathan’s neck. “Nathan?”

“It’s me”, he pulled him close into his neck, whispering softly in his ear.

“You were gone,” he let out another whimper and covered his eyes with his hand, still half asleep, “You were gone.” He buried his face in the crook of Nathan’s neck, shaking, hands clinging to his shirt, balling his fists, his neck began to feel wet. “Please, Nathan…”

Nathan’s own chest began to ripple, holding back his own emotion by cupping a palm over his aperture, muting himself. “Benjamin, I am not going anywhere.”

“You were gone…”

“I promise.”

Ben grew limp again, flirting with sleep it seemed. A few mutters passed the space in his lips before there were words, “...soft as rose petals…” mentioning the hands clinging to his back.

Nathan quivered, stamping the tears from his eyes, squeezing them shut, “I’m not going anywhere.” He breathed, setting Ben back down on the pillow once again and rising back again on unsteady feet. He held clamped knuckles between his teeth and his trembling chin where it landed in the palm of his hand, inclining, feeling bile rise in his throat that he swallowed down. He smoothed his shirt again with vibrating hands, zipping over the creases Ben’s fists had formed by those nightmarish portraits behind his dreams. He shook his cranium knowing just as well that he would never be back and in a violent or delicate acceptance, a battle shuffled in his chest; the place where Ben had once pointed to his soul.

He grasped the lapels of the tent, parting them patent and treading out into the shimmering dawn luminescence. Breathing in the meadow air, gratified that there was not breeze to mask the warmth. He deviated the opening, peering his eyes back to Ben where they navigated the curve of his body on the cot. Reluctance to blunder away. The parts of the New York boy pulsated inside of him, knotting fingers around his ribs, daisies danced across his spine, pushing between the vertebrae, a garden of dashing roses wilting away. The floating petals plucked off of the stem, gliding to his domestic layers. He witnessed them poking up through his skin and already felt homesick for the places that were never really his own.

“Goodbye, Damon.”

Nathan knew Ben’s lips were moving to form syllables, Pythias. .

Nathan Hale took his last look of Benjamin Tallmadge before shutting the opening, hesitant to step off into bigger things as he landed into their air. The very same bronze and scarlet coasting across the horizon, trailing up towards the sky where he said he might find his words written in the clouds. He smiled, fluttering lashes; the fusing intensities were searing his skin and he knew the familiarity of watery rain-slickened petals.

He started away, not looking back; his lover’s kisses singing to the flowers inside him.

#this is the last chapter #i am sad #halemadge #enjoy #nathan hale #pressles musing #benjamin tallmadge

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