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st-clements-steps · 1 year

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A Greysnow Meta

Let’s be clear this is not a ship theory, I find it very unlikely Jon and Theon will become romantically involved in canon. Someone much more interested in unravelling the textual clues of canon could surely make some interesting predictions about when and how Theon and Jon will meet again, and what state they might both be in at that point. And it would be up to each of us readers whether we wanted to read those clues as foreshadowing a romantic relationship or a platonic friendship or a strategic alliance.

Instead I am interested in the dynamic possibilities of Greysnow, what does Greysnow offer as a ship? And yes I do think a modern smut one shot can offer as much (or as little) interesting character exploration as a book quoting essay. Since shipping can be a very fun way to elaborate on any complex media, including asoiaf/GoT, the forces that would come into play in the ship can tell us a lot about Theon, Jon and our own fan responses.

(This mainly a book discussion but it does discuss the show a little)

Enemies to Lovers

My feelings on this trope are a subjective thing, I know that, but the twist from anger into passion can be a very compelling one and it works with Greysnow twice over.

As adolescents growing up together we know they have a mutual dislike:

Theon ignored him utterly, but there was nothing new in that. Jon I AGOT

The bastard was a sullen boy, quick to sense a slight, jealous of Theon's high birth Theon I ACOK

And here can’t we read how put out they each are but by what they perceive as the other’s disregard for them? They don’t like the other and yet there is an underlying sense they wanted to be noticed, or not to be treated with sullen disdain. This is Enemies to Lovers in the fun, frisson filled state that most fanfic (and romance readers) expect of it. The romantic and sexual tension offers a myriad of possibilities.

Of course there is also a much more violent Enemies to Lovers possibility with Greysnow, Theon sees it:

Jon would take his head off in a heartbeat. A Ghost in Winterfell (ADWD)

It's a possibility in which Theon immediately confronts the reader with the way Ramsay has been set up to mirror Jon:

Plucked from the clutches of one bastard to die at the hands of another, what a jape. A Ghost in Winterfell (ADWD)

And so the Enemies to Lovers trope can offer, the shippers, the writers, the hopers, something much more complex than frisson, if that’s the road they want to take. Canon offers it up to us, we can explore Theon’s abuse at the hands of one bastard by imagining the relationship he would form with the bastard central to the text. We can explore Jon’s relationship to his birth status by viewing him through the prism of someone who has experienced a man who lives up to the very worst of Westeros’ rhetoric against baseborn children.

Misunderstandings

Misunderstandings and their resolution make a story go round, they are a fundamental part of all the best stories. And Enemies to Lovers offers misunderstanding inherently as part of its dynamic, we can see that immediately in the quotes above. The hint they don’t want to be at odds, the narrow picture they have each assumed of the other.

And yet there is also the opposite misunderstanding, Theon believes Jon would take his head, Jon thinks:

They [Bran and Rickon] can't be dead. Theon would never do that. Jon VI (ASOS)

Whether he still believes this, come The Winds of Winter, well who knows? That’s the possibility the writer can play with, the shipper can daydream about, because there are so many different misunderstanding paths to wander off down, Jon, awakened from the dead, may not remember his previous animosity towards Theon, or he might demand the right to execute Theon himself, they may need to unravel together the mysterious intervention of the weirwood tree, or the complexities of having your own name take from you?

In a world where everyone’s identity is a slippery thing, like a flipped coin, Theon and Jon unravelling the misunderstandings of canon, either at odds or in tandem could be so interesting.

An exploration of Jon’s canonical attraction to men

Jon thinks of male characters in ways that read like he finds them attractive. GRRM may never explore this, and maybe he does not intend it, with Jaime it could be a platonic admiration I suppose:

Jon found it hard to look away from him. This is what a king should look like, he thought to himself as the man passed. Jon I (AGOT)

Try and convince me that you can dismiss his description of Satin in the same way though:

He was pretty as a girl with his dark eyes, soft skin, and raven's ringlets. Jon VII (ASOS)

And yes you could explore this attraction through writing Jon x Satin, or any number of Jon x male character ships but….

An mlm ship that explores 2 POV characters

The asoiaf (and GoT) fandom is oddly heterosexual (we have to discount HOTD here, where everything gets much more queer). I say oddly because most other fandoms appear to be much more about mlm shipping than anything else.

The five biggest mlm ships in asoiaf/GoT are all ships which include at least one non-POV character. Of course most of them are tagged with both show and book so perhaps this doesn’t matter? But as a writer, writing a character is much easier if they have a voice you can explore first. Even with show-only fics it is undeniable that the POV characters who survived to season 8 have a lot more screen time. I love side characters, even a few who are only graced with a few lines, but as a reader I can’t deny that my conception of a non-POV character could be wildly different to someone else’s. Even when someone is a thoughtful, considered writer, who has clearly used canon to build their characters.

If you’re writing considered fanfic the foundations of writing a POV character are so much stronger. And they offer so much more opportunity to reflect on the text, to comment on and discuss canon in a way that can be gentler and much less hostile than a lot of meta ends up being.

An exploration of Theon’s complex sexuality

Interestingly despite my above analysis on Jon’s sexuality it is Theon who features in the 2 most tagged mlm relationships in asoiaf/GoT. And yes here show dynamics clearly have some influence because actually Theon’s sexuality is strangely more elusive than Jon’s despite his greater apparent interest in actual sex.

In my mind Theon never appears to express attraction unless the other person has already clearly shown an interest (or fucked him). What he seems to like is to be wanted.

And so he flirts. It is Cat who tells us this time and again, describes his easy confidence and his cocky smile, his vault to lift her from the boat, tells us of him:

Enjoying a horn of ale and regaling her father's garrison with an account of the slaughter in the Whispering Wood. Catelyn XI (AGOT)

Theon plays down his attachment to everyone, Patrek is not too ill a fellow, and it is only when he gives the reader the tiniest hint of the liaison with a miller’s wife (so many miller’s wives, so little time) that we hear something softer:

Would that Patrek were with me now. Theon I (ACOK)

And yet despite Theon’s ambiguity, or perhaps because of it, people are drawn to ship him in mlm relationships.

And of course Greysnow offers the possibility that a simple cocky smile does not always work, the possibility of exploring how Theon copes when he is not overtly wanted? When the other person is as good at concealing his emotions as Theon himself is in many ways.

No one is quite what they appear in asoiaf, literally, they have identities that are taken from them, they are concealed, to abuse them on occasion, to protect them in other instances. What is more, as we get under the skin of every POV character, we see the ways in which those around them are misreading their true feelings, the ways they are dissembling to meet society’s expectations. And Greysnow is a lovely ship for peeling back the tricksiness of identity, the secrets both Jon and Theon are keeping and exposing the truths of both their characters.

#theon greyjoy #jon snow #greysnowweek #jon x theon #asoiaf #valyrianscrolls #I cannot meta the show I watched the show and had feelings #My feelings were mainly right (obv)#Yes yes there should be a lot more Jon x Tyrion (at least from an exploring characters through shipping discussion and fics perspective)#more jon x sam too #fic as a way to explore characters

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tenowls · 7 months

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teacher getou au...... wauh

#jujutsu kaisen #geto suguru #gojo satoru #itadori yuuji #kugisaki nobara #fushiguro megumi #teacher getou au #satosugu #fanart #very funny how gojo leaves both yuuji and yuuta on their first mission hssdjshjdd #i know hes technically watching but. these kids do not know anything abt jujutsu at that point and theyre also KIDS. worst teacher HKSDKSD #anyway. been trying to look for fics but haven’t been able to find one i wanna read so i was like ok I’ll do it myself #however i am not a good writer so. DRAWINGS OF RANDOM LITTLE SCENES WILL HAVE TO DO #i want a plot focused fic w a side of shipping…. blease if anyone out there has any recs #as in like. the shipping written in a way that’s relevant to the plot #i want to see the rammies explored. yknowyknow #what happened differently in the aftermath of rikos death to make getou want to be a teacher instead #how is jjk0 different without him as the main antagonist and who does kenjaku take as a host #how does shibuya play out #how are both he and gojo different as characters #having grown up into adulthood together #getou as gojo’s moral compass etc #YKNOWYKNOW #i am aware that to explore all of that would be a monster of a fic which is probably why it does not exist (to my knowledge) but #IF THERES ANY FICS OUT THERE THAT EXPLORE EVEN SOME OF IT. PLEASE SEND THEM MY WAY #EVEN A FUN LITTLE CASEFIC WHERE THEY GO ON A QUICK MISSION OR SMTH #AS LONG AS THERES PLOT #another theoretical fic i would like to read is canonverse post-shibuya but like with a plot that makes sense #jjk my favourite mediocre shounen battle manga. could be so much better. has anyone attempted this #that one post thats like im not a hater im a dismayer. thats me

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quinn-pop · 7 months

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let’s do some autistic meta knight headcanons!! over explaining my interpretation of meta knight yet again wooooo

this orb has NO idea how to talk to people!!! outside of work anyway. a lot of this is partially due to upbringing (suppressing his emotions all the time) but he does not know how to express emotions, like…at all.

this goes into a few things

1. yeah talking is hard. even after figuring out what he wants to communicate he will struggle. conversation can be so overwhelming, especially under pressure. he will need time lol

2. because of that, forming connections is hard. i really don’t think meta is much for shallow relationships, and certainly not early in the timeline. which also means he has very little experience with friendship. so a lot of the relationships he did have went kinda neglected, and issues that probably could’ve been worked on by talking became…*cough romk* escalated.

3. honestly i wouldn’t be surprised if meta convinced himself he couldn’t feel emotion (anymore) until like. katam-ish. he tried very hard lol

vulnerability is terrifying. (though this gesture here is also just comforting, like his little cape cocoon thing he does.)

unmasking—yeah im taking the mask thing very literally here—is a big deal and a very slow process for mk. i’m sure he has a lot of feelings on that lol. it served as a way to ensure no one could ever, y’know, see him.

i can’t say i think he’d ever fully ditch it—there’s always gonna be some days that are more stressful than others and if having it could help him get through it, it just makes sense. mainly when working.

it really is about vulnerability. granted, i don’t think he has the most expressive face (in my head every astral just tends to stare at things) but i doubt he has much control over it. can’t fake a smile but also can’t hide it. probably blushes easy because yeah, astrals; just look at kirby’s face.

just the idea that someone might be able to read his expression and know what he’s feeling before he’s ready for them to (or even understands it himself…) yeah he doesn’t want that

but emotional turmoil aside, i think his mask also hides a lot of his stims

remember that whole “suppressing your feelings” thing? yeah turns out that ignoring half your instincts isn’t a good idea. so in true meta knight style, he tries to stim as subtly as possible

1. he has the least control over his wings, so they will flick and twitch on their own. they’re usually a good indicator of how he’s feeling, not unlike the body language usually seen in cat ears and tails lol. flapping is also an extension of this of course, though he probably suppresses it more.

2. this also effects when he takes his wings out. pretty much every time he’s excited or nervous it just happens. kinda makes me wonder if his wing cape ordeal might also go into the suppression thing… (i’d say yes, but using a cape is also very comforting so it’s not necessarily a bad thing)

3. going back to the mask thing; he stims a lot underneath it. think like biting or pursing your lips. he bites his tongue and clicks his mouth. that sort of thing. his mask also makes it harder to notice that he is constantly sighing, humming, grumbling…all that

one nice thing about the mask though is that it helps a little bit with lights!!! woo

(look at him and his magically floating glasses)

sensory stuff—i think he’s mostly bothered by light and sound. maybe a bit of texture. he’s pretty sensory avoidant and perfectly happy standing off to the side not touching anything.

the one exception to this is physical affection, which is, despite all of this, most of how he shows affection. it’s a lot easier to hug someone than to try to explain your feelings for them, after all.

i think he would like pressure though. so that’s probably part of it. and i’m pretty sure there’s some connection in here to fighting (dang, is that the only way he knows how to get his energy out?)

anyway, pretty much all of this is in contrast to kirby, who i would gladly nominate as the champion of Doing Whatever He Wants. he might pick up a few bad habits, but he will never mask the way meta knight does. he might not understand how he feels, but he’s in tune enough to express it…usually.

this is a very good thing for meta because it helps him to do the same thing. kirby’s so energetic, it’s hard to not want to stim with him. it reminds meta to be kinder to himself and explore his own emotions. he can also help kirby understand themselves, so this connection is very important.

yeah, at the end of the day, everything kinda just boils down to kirby and mk as parallels

this is the conclusion i promise

to me, meta’s arc is about growing stronger by growing kinder, and this is mostly by learning to be kind to himself. letting himself be a person again, loving and understanding other people, and eventually, letting go of all the expectations placed on him and doing the things he’s always wanted to do…

autism headcanons are fun for me because it’s cathartic to write, but at the same time, it just makes sense in this sort of narrative. meta is, to me, inseparable from these things. and so is kirby! that’s a dynamic that’s a lot of fun to play with, and it’s at the heart of my kirby interpretation.

if you actually read all this WOW thank you

#i almost considered not posting this on a wednesday but then i wrote everything and uhhh yeah i think i gotta so #happy cringe day wednesday #for as many notes as i have on these characters i really don’t talk about it much #but meta knight is a special case because i am terrible at subtlety and he wouldn’t be meta knight without it #so this is to contextualize some things #because of what ill have in the next few days haha #basically these are just things i consider when writing meta #but a lot of it is subtextual and i dont know how well it comes across #kirbyposting #kirby #meta knight #headcanons #autism headcanon #this is practically an essay lol oops #i have like 2/3 of a fic that explores most of this in a way i probably won’t do again #but we’ll see if i ever finish it #god kirby concepts are so fun to chew on #i overthink everything i make so much lol

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hecksupremechips · 2 months

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Akihiko becoming a cop is something that simply doesn’t happen in the coma route cuz Shinji would see that shit and be like Aki what the actual hell is wrong with you

#persona #persona 3 #akihiko sanada #shinjiro aragaki #akishinji #i guess #im making it that way lol #see if you know me you know i actively avoid p4 arena like the plague both cuz i hate p4 and cuz #i simply have no interest in how the p3 characters turn out if this is whats being done to them #i seen how akihiko and mitsuru look I HATE IT I HATE IT SO MUCH I WANNA EAT GRAVEL #the only character i care about is ken really i approve of him getting to be a funny teenager i love my baby boy so much #but i watched the akihiko social episodes for reload and he talks about becoming a cop and i was just like. of fucking course 😞#we just cant escape this shit huh theres always gotta be a cop character for some reason #i consider this a bad ending for him cuz even though atlus and their copaganda loving asses would probably looove to tell me otherwise #theres literally no way shinji would stand for that shit like my guy has beef with the kirijos and was a homeless addict #so you know cops wouldnt like him and hes seen some shit #they had to kill him cuz hed tell the truth sldjks #i definitely am gonna explore this dynamic in my fic but you know. no way in hell is aki gonna be a cop on my watch lol #maybe he can be like. a PE teacher or some shit akskkls

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eywaseclipse · 18 days

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These kids probably had Jake and Neytiri so stressed out at one point and hit the pillows at night like a sack of bricks 🤣

I want more flashbacks please!

Here’s a mini headcanon:

Jake crafted the Toruk toy for Kiri. Then saw Lo’ak get a little jealous and made a couple of direhorses for him

Neytiri probably made all the kids matching armbands or bracelets so the image of that makes my heart burst

Jake was probably so excited to take Neteyam fishing he couldn’t even sleep the night before

During a thunderstorm Lo’ak got scared and crawled right up onto Jake’s chest crying while he comforted him and rubbed his little back

Kiri ratted Lo’ak out many times and then Tuk took over at that age

Neteyam and Lo’ak would always play tackle each other and play lots of games getting in trouble for rough housing too much after Neteyam got a scrape on his forehead

Once Tuk started learning to walk she’d follow her siblings around like a moth drawn to a flame

Neteyam would scoop her up and give her piggyback rides everywhere

Kiri and Lo’ak would pull pranks on Jake when they were very young, and Jake would know every single time but pretended to fall for it just to hear those giggles

#mine #avatar edits #avatar explore page #avatar for you #new avatar blog #avatar fics #avatar 2009 #avatar the way of water #new avatar writer #new writer #avatar writing #avatar head canons #avatar jake #avatar blog #avatar characters #avatar movie #the way of water headcanons #avatar writer #avatar script

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waitineedaname · 8 months

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when thinking about scar and mei's dynamic, I love thinking about why he becomes so attached to her. it's not just a parental instinct, it's specifically identifying with her struggles. the chang clan is small and has little political power compared to the more dominant clans in xing, and it's a struggle just to survive. even though it's not exactly the same, there's this feeling of solidarity between scar and mei because they're both disenfranchised within their respective countries. the sympathy mei describes when she found xiao-mei is what scar feels towards mei, seeing something of themselves in the other and taking pity on them

and there's this other element to him helping her find xiao-mei, and I might be misremembering, but I'm fairly certain it's the first deviation from his revenge based quest. so far, every time we've seen him, he's either been attacking state alchemists, going somewhere to find a state alchemist, or recovering from his injuries. he is very driven when it comes to his goals, but he sees this little girl crying because she is all alone in a foreign country on a desperate quest to save her people and she's just lost the only family she has with her, and he decides to help her. he didn't have to do that, he could have just ignored her or insisted on moving on, but he is not heartless or cruel, he is a compassionate person underneath all the pain, so he goes out of his way to help this little girl find her panda

no wonder mei is constantly reiterating to other people that scar is a good person

#fma #fmab #scar fma #mei chang #I HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THEM ALL DAY #if scar was written by a worse author or was written as a shallow character #then he would just be heartless and cruel #but it is so important that he's not #his anger and violence comes from a powerful love for his people and a deep feeling of injustice #and I think that sensitivity to injustice and a heart that is fundamentally good deep down #is why he cares for mei the way he does #I'm realizing I'm just repeating what I wrote about in that one food fic I wrote #BUT IT STILL STANDS #hi strangers reading this. if you want this concept explored in fic form I wrote about it in the fic The Taste Of Home

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aithusarosekiller · 2 months

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This is on my tiktok but I wanted to post it here too bc it's really been bugging me

The caption essentially said that if I see a characterisation I don't like (I used the example of big buff alpha remus) I just scroll because clearly the content was made for someone else and I'm not the target audience

#let people have different interpretations #let out of character fics exist #there's no one right way to write and view a character #if someone wants to throw out canon and write their own interpretation that is AMAZING #if someone wants to explore what one change (such as the black cousins being in an abusive household) could have on the story LET THEM #stop crushing the creativity of young teens because you can't have fun #marauders era #marauders #mwpp #feel kind of bad tagging this with all the fandom tags I'm sorry :/ I just wanted to get it out there #to show people who do write 'ooc' interpretations thay that is FINE #and most people are SO PROUD that you're able to explore and share that creativity with us #dldr #DON'T LIKE DON'T READ #remember that?#there's nothing wrong with liking canon characterisation but you don't have to be a dick about it #you don't have to force it onto everyone around you #they're allowed to make their own versions up #dead gay wizards #id feel so bad putting ship or character tags #bc that's not the content ppl on the tags wanna see so I won't

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goodobservationshirley · 2 years

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He and I are on the same page.

#star trek strange new worlds #snw #strange new worlds #snwedit #snw spoilers #bi chapel!#and chapel and ortegas as best friends is amazing #i have to admit chapel's development on snw feels a bit bittersweet to me #because as it's a prequel #all they can do is flesh out a character that will still inevitably later become... well #a bit of a caricature #so while they flesh her out #they still HAVE TO drive her down that path #and it's extremely bittersweet to me #but that's the name of the game #i do think falling in love with someone clearly unavailable can be another way to avoid actual commitment #which this chapel seems terrified of #so i'm interested in exploring that #(also: of course give me all the 'ortegas is secretly in love with her extremely emotionally unavailable best friend' fics)#*mine

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suffarustuffaru · 2 months

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i need to share my very horrible idea to combine the reinhard/julius/otto/subaru boy drama into one julius-centric fic

ok so a little while ago ive made all kinds of ottojuli and reinjuli posts and while i havent finished all my major julisuba posts Yet i am quite fond of julisuba also and i think itd be incredibly funny if you just dumped all of these ships into one story. just go ALL IN on that boy drama!!!! go big or go home amirite!!!! the worlds WORST love trapezoid youve ever seen!!!!

this post is just me rambling fic ideas bc i sadly dont have time for Every Fic Idea and also i just. i just think itd be funny putting multiple ships with the same person in them into one fic. on a serious level its like mimicking real life relationships where sometimes people come and go and you have different dynamics with each person!! on another level i just think this is also very funny so!! here we go. under the cut:

anyway so my idea for this is that you know, julius of course meets reinhard when hes ten and reinhard is eight and then it alters julius's brain chemistry. at first he's in complete awe of reinhard. and then over time the shame starts setting in. that julius isnt as strong as reinhard. and the jealousy sets in a bit too, so julius's got this chip in his shoulder trying to carry his family's legacy and trying to carry the weight of knighthood to be as perfect as possible. to be as close to reinhard as he can. they meet again in their teens and julius shows reinhard the ropes of like basic knight stuff bc reinhard just joined the knights. and of course reinjuli become friends but julius has spent his whole life quietly watching reinhard from afar and now julius still has that distance with reinhard even as theyre supposedly friends now. reinhard is a God, you know? his powers and his leash from the kingdom and his family keep him distant and the two of them are ignoring that. classic homoerotic "do i want him or want to be him" friendship where both of you are too scared to get any closer for various reasons with a Twist (reinhard's very real monster complex that keeps getting validated bc Everyone Around Him thinks hes a monster).

anyway but then julius remembers that you know, shit between reinhard and him wont work out for many reasons, like reinhards family deciding to torment julius at various points in his life (heinkel, whos julius's boss, and reid, who went from julius's childhood idol to. you know.), and also reinhard needs to have kids because hes the sword saint, and also homophobia exists in rezero. and also even if those werent all obstacles julius still has his Complexes connected to reinhard and they got that distance between them so. no go. (repression gets in the way of relationships :((( )

also quick side note is that ex 4 happens and julius reinhard ferris go to vollachia and julius interrupts a meeting with vincent vollachia himself to go "I UNDERSTOOD THAT LITERARY REFERENCE YOU JUST MADE. THATS A REALLY GOOD REFERENCE I LIKED IT A LOT" bc hes a massive nerd and ig this is slightly-more-of-a-disaster-gay julius au so julius is like ............................. vincent was kinda cool for that.

AND THEN SUBARU CRASHES INTO JULIUS'S LIFE and julius is like seeing this guy who's also got a chip in his shoulder and then he insults the knights and says the knights are all depending on their dads (nepotism) and julius is like .......the chip in my shoulder was bad enough and also youre kinda like me fr. and you are clearly a fucking misguided kid so now i have to save your ass. i cant NOT save your ass. and reinhards like "julius and subaru nooo you dont have to do this :((((" and julius cant admit atm that hes also doing this to save subarus life so julius is just like "he disrespected the knights >:(((("

but yes we all know what happened there. julius saves subarus life. julius has to slice subarus throat in that one failed loop. they become friends across several timelines. they also homoerotically share souls, you know, typical bromance things, rivals to lovers except subarus the one going YOURE MY RIVAL and julius is like he is SUCH an upstart. hes really grown on me like a fungus but thats the appeal. and julius i think sees subaru as like a kindred spirit (or at least thats how i interpret julisuba) except subaru is like way more freer than julius is. same desire to prove yourself but subarus not restraining himself constantly like julius. its sometimes to the point of recklessness and general stupidity and what have you, but his boldness and bravery and determination and heart really is admirable.........................

yeah so anyway julius falls for ANOTHER guy again, you know how it is sometimes. the heart wants what it wants and julius is cursed to always have the worst meetings with his closest friends. and of course julius gets heartbroken bc wtf i have to kill my new friend :((( noo!!!! but in the finished loop its like. oh subaru...... hes really improved himself. hes grown so much already. hes kind of. inspirational really. idk how he does it. except subarus you know got that Mystery to him the same way reinhard does (theyre traumatized and Cant Take About It Normally so they just randomly lore drop what they can) and also subarus SUPER into emilia. and julius is like .................... well. subarus taken. haha. and reinhards. taken. fuck me. fuck. and like somethings going on with subaru and rem and emilia right. fuck. and subarus got his whole toxic masculinity / gender crisis..... and he doesnt know hes Bisexual yet...... man. what a loss for julius amirite haha.

and also subarus busy after arc 3........... and julius has no idea whats happening there but that seems Real serious :(( and julius's got other things to attend to so he hopes subaru reaches out to him eventually..... or that they cross paths again since subarus in the emilia camp and julius is in ana camp (and of course reinhard is in felt camp and like that was a whole debacle bc wtf. reinhard, u do know thatd be a big deal to our mutual friend felix?). so. julius pines from afar ONCE AGAIN HAHA.

(also of course subarus still attracted to reinhard here. its um. well julisuba can bond now over pining over reinhard but thats for later also!!)

anyway of course during arc 3 julius briefly runs into some gray haired merchant twink thats being dragged around by subaru bc ana camp rescued this guy from a cave somewhere??? and this new guy and subaru made a deal or whatever so he was just helping out in the background of the fight against sloth??

and whaddya know................ julius goes to drink at a bar bc you know he probably tastes wine for fun in his free time (hes definitely Fond of wine anyway iirc) and now hes Sad over the Ones That Got Away so. bar it is. and gray haired merchant twink is there!! no way. they start talking a bit casually while drinking you know and julius's taste is Unfortunately either the graceful ones (anastasia, because julius has great taste in women) or the cringe fail ones (all the twinks - except for felix - that julius keeps having the wildest first meetings with, because julius has slightly shit taste in men) so julius is like huh this otto guys kinda funny lol. endearing in a weird way!! and -

oops they both end up being a little. they make a little bit of a move on each other. bc they were drinking and got a Bit tipsy. ottos Also not over the one that got away (subaru) (again) and hey. the finest knight truly is. Fine. objectively fine. totally. so you know. things get a little out of hand, maybe they do a bit of cringe fail flirting hidden underneath five million layers of repression and the Horrors of Being Known but ultimately they both embarrass themselves somehow (read: how far they went with each other while under the influence is up to you) and agree to Never Speak of This Again bc oopsies they were both technically each other's first time being Straightforwardly Not Straight with another man. oops. anyway julius has to go back to his camp and otto fucking bolts but he bolts right into subaru and gets his ass dragged into sanctuary drama.

julius is totally not a little bit envious about that.................... about otto getting to accompany subaru to sanctuary... but dont worry julius!! youll get to make up for it later!! bc eventually arc 5 stuff happens. and julius is Glad to see reinhard and subaru again. even with all the Baggage. and subaru is of course Weird about julius but eventually subaru reassures julius after they both confide in each other about the astrea drama (theyre honorary astreas via being dragged into the astrea family mess). and subarus reassuring to julius in a whole new way okay. subaru, whos unrestrained and incapable of being on the down low about anything, and julius, whos always holding himself back with a gazillion layers of repression, starts learning to let go a bit...

but also juliotto meet again. its terribly awkward and they both agreed to never speak of their awkward encounters again. subaru is going ??? and reinhard is clueless. otto then also goes to save reinhard and felt from heinkel trying to take felt hostage, which was also terribly awkward but reinhard and felt are grateful about it (but lbr if reinhard and otto knew each other deeper reinhard would maybe be a little. Apprehensive. around otto while otto would be sympathetic with reinhard bc hes like male emilia). but then while otto manages not to get erased by gluttony....... julius gets erased. of course. which you know results in being forgotten by reinhard in julius's THIRD first meeting ever with reinhard. and subarus the only one who remembers him of course.

then arc 6 happens :,))))) and julius of course has to confront his ideas of knighthood, his identity, his self esteem, and who he is outside of His Name. and also julius gets his ass beat by reid. his childhood idol. who reinhard KNEW was a shitty person but never ever told julius (whether this is because reinhard wanted to spare julius's hero worship or because reinhard never got the chance to tell julius is hard to say lajdsf). but julius does get to triumphantly win in the end!! grow as a person!!! learn to undo a bit of that repression and not hold himself to impossible standards all the time!! hes growing still!!! hes finally solidified his friendships with people like subaru and emilia!! hes remaking his relationship with anastasia!! hes asserted himself, hes planning on going to meet reinhard again one day and duel him!! things are looking up even if its still bittersweet that he doesnt have his name back yet!! does this mean?? perhaps?? a HAPPY ENDING?? julius can have the two men (reinhard and subaru) he admires the most in his life?????? as friends???? or as boyfriends?????? slowburn mutual pining????????????????????????????????????????

and then comes. arc 8 otto. that piece of shit.

julius is very much someone who has to grapple with the weight of the expectations that people throw at him. and also reinhard is someone who May envy julius a bit, but there's also you know, joshua and subaru with the Explicit Envy and (past) resentment because theyre placing heavy expectations on julius!! theyre pointing blame at julius!! julius is trying to find himself outside of stuff like that, especially after arc 6, but he's still got stuff to work on you know? he still has duties to fulfill!! loyalty that he has to act on bc hes gotta help subaru and co in arc 8!! and then in comes otto.

otto is also someone with expectation placed on him, but its Different. ottos mostly a nobody and when hes Not a nobody, his reputation tends to be Derogatory. hes a menace. hes a bad luck charm. hes grappling with the fact that he has to keep being left behind - post-arc 5 bc he was injured, but also repeatedly during arcs 7 and 8 because hes too physically weak to be on the same playing field as emilia or garfiel or subaru on the battlefield. he feels Useless after placing his identity on the expectation that hes Dependable and Useful.

julius is a bit more on even ground with otto now that julius is. also mostly a nobody bc his name is still gone. and also julius had to deal with having that part of his identity crushed. julius tried to be useful over and over in arc 6 only to get his ass repeatedly curb stomped by reid in the beginning. he was a nobody. he wasnt dependable anymore. and also otto is that one guy he had a Passing Fling with over having The Ones Who Got Away and julius was still vaguely hopeful about maybe being pals at least but ottos brushed him off a bit since arc 5. theyre like each others secrets you know? and now otto doesnt know that shit - julius is the only one who Knows - and otto also hates julius's fucking guts now. over SUBARU. and julius has been through this whole rodeo clown circus with arc 3 subaru so this is an absolutely terrible ride through memory lane.

and this is julius's THIRD twink that hates him for terribly unfair reasons. julius is very tired and a bit heartbroken in this au trying to pretend it doesnt bother him. on one level it doesnt. bc ottos pathetic and clearly Overcompensating for Something. on another level it kinda does bc julius had a Thing going with otto. and otto is the complete opposite of julius. like hes different from the other guys julius has liked.

julisuba is about complimentary opposites - they appear Extremely Different at first glance but theyre very similar. theyre people who try to look and act bigger than they are, people who keep reaching to be The Best, to be Perfect, because theyre overcompensating. theyre worried their entire identity is only built off of trying to be bigger than the shadow that other people in their lives (like their families) cast. but they cant reach perfection. and julius is like subaru but if subaru tried to really make himself "refined" - if he tried to stop putting his heart on his sleeve all the time. reinsuba are very similar too. theyre very refined knights who try to keep themselves in check at all times while the weight of the world is on their shoulders. they cant have a hair out of place. except julius is like the "smaller" version of reinhard. julius is less powerful. its like comparing a human and a "god" - reinhard, whos untouchable. but its a double edged sword, because julius gets to be a normal person, because half the expectation placed on him is also purely from himself, while reinhard isnt. reinhard isnt Free. hes on a leash by the kingdom and his family. julius even gets his kind of "celebrity" status stolen from him via the loss of his name. hes truly kind of Normal now - julius is like if reinhard didnt have his crazy abilities and had a little more of a chance to be free.

otto? yeah otto is. very very far from all of that. hes so obviously imperfect that most of his reputation, when its brought up, is just him being known as a mess who's caused various forms of chaos everywhere he goes. either that or hes just. There. Invisible. very very average. and otto is someone who wants a nice comfortable life, someone who wants to fit in - julius and subaru arent Exactly like that, and while reinhard also wants to be normal, ottos the one who has more of an opportunity. but he doesnt. because otto Dooms Himself by being recklessly cutthroat. otto is like if subaru was just. More of an asshole, so ottojuli would just be a rather Extreme Challenge for julius to have to deal with HAH. and normally otto is someone who repays how people treat him - a very "you treat me like this, i'll treat you the same way in turn" kind of deal, except ottos developed a vendetta against julius and its basically like if subaru never let go of his arc 3 julius vendetta.

yes so anyway. etc etc stuff probably happens but i ran out of ideas lajdlfjasdf i just think combining ALL the boy drama and recontextualizing + adding to canon would be. batshit crazy. and terribly entertaining. im so sorry julius but i want to see you crack a bit under the pressure. reinjuli as a ship is like tragic gay yearning that never goes anywhere past being friends with quiet homoerotic tension, then julisuba is. you know. extreme rivals to lovers, starts out Rough but then ends up being super super sweet and theyre Trying their best underneath the self esteem issues. and then ottojuli is. toxic yaoi at its finest (pun intended). you get Every flavor of mlm possible!!

ok so you may be asking "ok what would you even name this fic then" and to that i say that this would be called To All the Boys I've Loved Before.

anyway i really wanna write this idea someday ill inform you guys (if youre reading this and are Interested) if it ever happens :< so. in conclusion this is just julius the entire time throughout all of these events:

#rezero #re:zero #arc 5-8 spoilers #yes i made this post also so i can dramatically drop the wip title for this fic idea at the end of it and then laugh to myself bc i think #its the most perfect title of all time.#also adding up all of the rezero boy drama is important to me ok. and i was mostly going into the julius side of things in this post aldsjf #it gets messier when you remember reinsuba. and ottosuba. and reinotto. its incredibly funny to me. truly the worlds worst love pentagon.#or love square???? love shape????#on a serious note i would love to see more queer stories exploring like. a person's different relationships over the years. bc sometimes it #does feel like this you know?? having drastically different dynamics with each person and each person knows you in different ways!!#its a fun character study exercise. and it feels true to life imo. you grow and change throughout your life and your relationships at each #time period can kind of reflect who you were as a person at the time. if that makes sense. idk i have many feelings on it HAH #natsuki subaru #reinhard van astrea #otto suwen #julius juukulius #also i do often hc reinhard otto julius as being on the ace spectrum. i dont really write otto being ace in mind for Every wip i do but yes #i do have these hcs and reasoning for them!!! also specifically i hc reinhard as being on the aroace spectrum. these are just hcs of course #hah but yes i quite like my hcs for them.

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