#i am aware that to explore all of that would be a monster of a fic which is probably why it does not exist (to my knowledge) but | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ponderingmoonlight · 30 days

Text

Being held hostage by Ryomen Sukuna

Pairing: Sukuna x fem!reader

Word Count: 1,4k

Synopsis: How you ended up in Sukuna's prison instead of getting killed in an instant? You don't know. What you do know however that the king of curse has more to offer than what you ever imagined...

Warnings: no real smut but it's getting heated y'all, Sukuna being a smooth operator, not 100% proofread

enjoy

„Feeling lonely?“

You huff to yourself, wrists desperately fighting against the chains that keep you in place, tired eyes roaming around in order to find him.

Him, Ryomen Sukuna. The monster who kidnapped you and brought you here, chained you to the ceiling while kneeling on the cold ground. Fuck, how did you even allow him to catch you like this? Why didn’t you use your sphere, fight against him, give everything you have?

You furrow your eyebrows, glaring at his stupid grin with nothing but rejection. Because that man in front of you is more than a simple curse, let alone a human being. Not even you, a special grade jujutsu sorcerer, stood a chance against him. Not when you were too focused on saving your student’s lives to realize that you run straight into his open arms.

“I hate that look on your stupid pretty face. It almost looks like…disgust…”, he comments dryly.

With a swift motion, he yanks your chin upward, forces you to stare straight into his red eyes. You hate the way your nerves start tingling by just one look at him, the horror that radiates from those crimson orbs. If he wanted to, he could kill you without blinking, could end your life right here without hesitating. But instead, he decided to chain you into his living room in order to tease you.

“That’s exactly what it is”, you press out, failing miserably in an attempt to escape the sheer force of his fingertips.

“Feisty, I like it. We have a great time ahead of us, (y/n).”

The way he says your name runs shivers down your spine. Fuck, that unpromising look on his face makes you slowly but surely lose your composure. But why…Why are you even here? Why did none other than Ryomen Sukuna decide that you have to stay alive even though he would have been able to kill you without thinking twice? Why are you trapped here instead of six feet under?

“Why am I not dead yet?”

The words escape your mouth faster than you’re able to think. Slowly, he kneels down in front of you, nothing but amusement glimmering in his deadly orbs. Your heart almost beats out of your chest. Why does the air suddenly feel thicker, your lungs refusing their service while all you’re able to do is staring at him? Ryomen Sukuna is your worst enemy, killed countless people, brought nothing but grief your way. But…

You swallow hard. Did he really just get on his knees in front of you?

“I’ve been observing you for quite some time. Even though you’re nothing but a weak human, there’s something I haven’t seen before. Something I want to explore”, he replies with low voice.

Fuck, you hate the way your knees suddenly feel weak, how you squirm under his gaze. Are you out of your goddamn mind? This isn’t Nanami or Gojo. No, this is the king of curses himself. He’ll kill you without blinking when he has enough of you. God, what the hell is wrong with your taste in men anyway? You almost lost your composure when you met Choso back then at Shibuya…

When the man kneeling in front of you killed so many people that you lost count, almost ending your life as well when you were only inches away from getting caught in his sphere.

“No thanks. I have absolutely zero interest in getting explored by you”, you bite back.

Oh, what a filthy little lie. Just the thought of seeing him shirtless drives your imagination wild, sets something free you weren’t even aware of existing. Even though your eyes show nothing but dismissal, your body tells you otherwise.

“We’ll see about that.”

You almost choke on your own salvia when his hands grab your wrist out of the sudden, chest so close to you that you can almost taste the smell of musk and amber radiating from the sheer heat of his body that is only covered by his white robe. If you wanted to, you could rest your head against his broad chest, enjoy the sensation of his body against yours-

Before you’re able to react, your body collapses onto the cold ground, stained wrist set free by none other than Sukuna himself.

“Thanks, asshole”, you hiss through gritted teeth.

Your body feels like pudding, so weak that you can’t lift yourself off the floor as gracefully as you wanted to. How long have you been here already? Way too long as it seems. You glare at him through the messy strands of hair that stick to your face like glue. Just that satisfied grin on his face is enough to fuel your anger all over again.

“You really think you’re a tough one, huh? And that after I saw how you pressed your legs together when I came a little closer.”

“You’re a monster”, you argue.

He roams closer. Like a hunter he circles you, nothing but amusement and something way darker glistening in his eyes.

“You killed my comrades, my friends, innocent people-“

“So what?”, he casually replies.

His hands wrap themselves around your hair before you can stop him. You stare at him in sheer disbelief, head fighting against the sheer force of his fingers unsuccessfully. How on earth did you end up here?

“Your love and affection for others is your true weakness, (y/n). Without your puny thoughts over people who give a damn about you, you’d be unstoppable. Just like me.”

His breath caresses your cheeks, lights a fire that now radiates through your whole body.

“I will stop you”, you breathe out.

“Oh please.”

His hands…You can’t believe your eyes, your instincts, your body. Suddenly you find yourself trapped inside his muscular arms, his face so close to yours that you can feel his hot breath ghosting against your cheek and neck. When was the last time a man touched you? Oh, way too long ago. His toned body pressed against yours reminds you way too painful. But still.

You shake your head ever so slightly, close your eyes against the sensation his touch promises. This isn’t just a random man, not the kind of bad guy like Geto or Choso. No, this is the king of curses himself, a frightful creature absolutely willing to kill you when he had enough of you. You are nothing but a toy to him, something he found useful and will throw away the second you don’t match his expectations. This man is evil, this man is the epitome of cruelty. This man…

Pushes you against the wall, his leg forced between both of yours while all you can think of are his parted lips. This has to be a dream… Or a nightmare?

“Fuck.”

You don’t know, mind clouded by nothing but his sheer presence. What if you just kissed him? Only once to discover how he tastes, to convince yourself that you hate him. Yes, maybe this is all you need to get rid of that ridiculous desire that builds up in your stomach, maybe this will make the pressure between your hips vanish into thin air. A small innocent kiss and you’ll search a way out of this cursed place, an innocent kiss to come back to your senses.

Like in slow motion you stretch out your hand, so ready to touch his cheek. Does he even feel human? What else should he feel like? You just need to stretch your fingertips a little further, your head moving a few more inches towards his lips. His lips, those inviting parted lips…

“I knew you want me.”

But you don’t reach him. The second you open your eyes, you get greeted by that satisfied grin you learned to hate in the matter of hours, his hand keeping your fingers trapped mid-air.

“Don’t worry, I will come back to this eventually. But right now, I have something important to do.”

It happens faster that you’re able to react. Before you even comprehend what is happening, the chains around your wrists come back to life, trap you against the wall like a fool.

“Asshole”, you spit into his face, thick anger rushing through your already heated veins.

Out of instinct you stretch out your hand, ready to hit him with your best shot.

Only to get stopped by him catching your hand mid-air.

Again.

“I’ll see you later, (y/n). Don’t cause trouble as long as I’m gone.”

Tags: @arehzhera @ploylulla @tzubaki @beatrexworld @kenstarsworld @dazaisdick @hellkaiserinphoenix @lauv4chuuya @starlightanyaaa @sindela @kayleegomez @sunshine7queen @magalimachete @mokoartpost @gatitam @idontknow1123 @creative1writings @sanicsmut @mynahx3 @sad-darksoul @chilichopsticks @chuyasthighs0 @ynackerman9499 @keepghostly @wxwieeee @froufrousnowman @hidazinie @tomiokathedepresso @gojosrealwife @coffeeluvr96 @mahi-tamashi @weebotaku21 @chaoticwinnercupcake @lees-chaotic-brain @risuola @sugurulefttesticle @wordskeeper @baku2345 @polarbvnny @ruixrei @bam-bam-bam-bame-blog @lavenderdrxp @localhehecat @alicerhr @belovedvamp @wifenanami @chilichopsticks @dlwlrmas-world @oikawarz @darkstarlight82 @satoreo @luwumii @tachiharazsstuff @kentocalls @cheesemachine44 @ryva @kenjakusconcubine @baku2345 @komelrebi-san @deezy12299 @busyreader17 @4pgletter @okay-it-is-ivy @iluvtoru @starlightanyaaa @moodswing101 @unholiiness

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader #jjk fanfic #jjk season 2 #sukuna #ryomen sukuna #jjk sukuna #sukuna ryomen #jujutsu sukuna #ryomen sukuna x you #sukuna x reader #sukuna x you #sukuna x y/n #ryomen sukuna x reader #ryomen x reader #jjk fanworks #jujutsu fanfic

373 notes · View notes

utilitycaster · 1 year

Text

OGL misconceptions

Since I am still seeing a lot of misinformation out there, I figured I'd do a fact check post. Note that I do not personally have a copy of the leaked draft; some resources are given at the end of the post. See also the 2000 OGL v1.0a here. This is noncomprehensive, is only touching on some of the things I've seen most commonly in the tags [sidebar: the only tag I check regularly is the Critical Role tag, and much of what I've seen on Tumblr is coming from people spamming that tag for general D&D content that only tangentially mentions CR, so...stop doing that.] Finally, this is based on what is a draft, and there are quite possibly going to be updates to the final document. I would also assume that the January 13th effective date will be changed based on the release date of the finalized OGL.

Free fan content is not affected. That is covered by the Fan Content Policy. Your personal homebrew or the weird-ass build you saw on Reddit or the item you saw in a post last week are all fine.

Actual play shows should be largely unaffected, and only merchandise containing WoTC IP would be. (NOTE: original posting of this post had a typo of "affected" for "unaffected"; check your reblogs) Shows like Critical Role, NADDPod, and D20 all use homebrew settings, so that's also unaffected (as is any Exandrian content that was published in the Explorer's Guide and Call of the Netherdeep; that is CR's IP that WoTC has license to use). A show might be affected if they've set the game in a WoTC licensed setting or with a WoTC module (eg: Eberron, Ravenloft), but most of the shows that do that are put out by WoTC anyway. Critical Role and TAZ have, notably, already avoided using copyrighted terms for deities, races, etc. in published non-WoTC works (this is why Melora is exclusively the Wildmother in the Tal'Dorei guides, because "Melora" is WoTC IP, but the idea of a nature goddess is obviously not; this is also why Cree in the Nine Eyes is referred to as catfolk and not a tabaxi, or why Phandalin's name in the TAZ graphic novels is changed to Haverdale). The only reason why a show might need to switch game systems would be if they use a system that is not D&D but is based on D&D's SRD and which will be subject to the OGL changes. Most Pathfinder shows I'm aware of use the Pathfinder SRD (ie, free), and SW5e as used in Starstruck Odyssey is also free. This also only affects the future of those shows.

VTTs (Virtual Tabletop Tools) may be affected, but most of their core features aren't. Battle maps and virtual dice rollers are not WoTC IP. Incorporating the mechanics of D&D into the VTT is, but that would mean actively having a character sheet or monster statblock available within the VTT. You could still just have a dice roller that prompts you for a modifier (which is how I always personally used Foundry). D&D Beyond will not be affected, since it is owned by WoTC. Additionally, many VTTs already have existing agreements specifically with WoTC that will take precedence over the OGL, which is a catch-all for companies that do not have specific licensing agreements. See the WoTC/D&D Beyond blog post here.

Only creators making over $750,000 specifically on material licensed under the OGL will be subject to royalties, and only on income in excess of $750,000. This means that if you put something up on DMs Guild and make $500, you are fine and owe nothing. If you make $749,999, you owe nothing. If you make $750,100, you owe the 25% royalty only on the $100 you are making above $750,000. WoTC predicts under two dozen companies will actually be affected by this at this time; they are all fairly big names within the D&D content arena such as Paizo, Darrington Press (CR's imprint), Hit Point Press, Green Ronin, Kobold Press, etc. Royalties also are said to begin in 2024, so companies have a year to decide what to do.

Now for the editorializing part:

Paizo is specifically in the crosshairs and anyone telling you to switch to it is either misinformed at best, or does not have your best interests at heart. Paizo is the main target here. The others are publishing material that serve as supplements to the core WoTC products, but do not replace them. For example: if you have either of the Tal'Dorei Campaign Setting books, you will note that they do not have stats for the races mentioned, nor the core class information. If you want to play a Cobalt Soul Monk, you still need the PHB in addition to the Tal'Dorei setting books. On some level, this is almost certainly due to Paizo being like "look! we're like D&D but we're not! switch to us!" And, understandably, WoTC is saying "hey, you took our SRD game engine and are now our largest competitor", which is also almost certainly why this is overriding the OGL 1.0a under which Pathfinder was originally created. I am not saying not to switch to a different TTRPG if you want to! You should always feel free to switch to a different TTRPG if D&D is not meeting your needs! I am saying that Pathfinder is probably your absolute worst bet in terms of things likely to be affected by the OGL, and anyone telling you to switch to it is telling you to jump from an ocean liner into a slightly smaller ship heading straight for a waterfall solely because the ocean liner stopped serving bottomless brunch.

People throwing this to actual play shows do not know what they are talking about and are just trying to start shit. Self-explanatory; why should Dimension 20 or whatever put out a statement on an unofficial leaked draft that minimally affects them.

Bad faith is common and everpresent. As discussed extensively on this blog in scattered bitchy shitposts, there are a lot of people who hate D&D/WoTC, or Critical Role, or other popular actual play shows. Sometimes their reasons are valid and sometimes their reasons are stupid. It doesn't really matter though; what matters is that their minds are made up and they will be telling you to switch game systems/stop listening or watching pretty much regardless of what the companies do. If you want to switch or stop listening, that's fine! But, as mentioned, I remember a few months ago someone arguing that you should switch from D&D because they were obviously going to start licensing NFTs for profitability reasons, and now the OGL specifically prohibits that. There's a lot being pulled out of thin air to make spurious arguments. In general, it is helpful to ask yourself "is this person recommending a game because they genuinely believe it will improve my life and better fit my individual tastes and needs? Or are they just being a dick about D&D or this specific actual play show and don't give a shit about my happiness, just as long as I'm not playing the game/watching the show that they, an internet stranger with bad vibes to boot, do not personally like."

YouTubers are trying to get views, and that is usually their primary goal. Also self-explanatory. If you're trusting the same people who decided that Silvery Barbs would ruin D&D which had also already been ruined by the chronomancy class, the fact that some sorcerers get more spells than other sorcerers, the fact that healing word exists... to tell you that this has ruined D&D? I don't think I can help you.

Several of the things people are freaking out about are either standard boilerplate now, or were in the original OGL. OGL 1.0a reserves the right to terminate the license with 30 days notice as well (item 13); stating that material you make via an open license can be used freely by the owner of that IP is fairly standard legal practice.

Sources:

OGL v1.0a

WOTC Fan Content Policy

Gizmodo/io9 coverage

D&D Beyond/OneD&D blog post

Screenrant coverage

#d&d #this is rebloggable but I will be blocking clownery as always.#long post

1K notes · View notes

gglitch1dd · 2 years

Text

KiriBakuDeku Monstertober Week

Hey guys! It’s me Glitch1d, I am back! I have been hard at work for this October month because everyone knows that October is a writers favourite month. I’ve been wracking my brain, surfing the web and writing for this coming week in October (the 10th to the 16th), we are going to be... drum roll... MONSTER FUCKERS! OH MY GOD! GLITCH1D, YOU’RE SO AMAZING! I know I am excited for what’s about to go down. Since it is spooky month, my birth month and one of my favourite characters, Eijiro Kirishima’s birthday month, I wanted to do this week for yall.

Come to think of it, I could have done an Eijiro Kirishima week... Well it’s too late for that.

Going forward, all my readers are AFAB this week and will go by they/them pronouns unless I say otherwise. I will try to put warnings on every chapter if one of the characters use a gender specific term, however please also be aware that I do identify myself as mostly female so that will translate into my writing.

Every day from the 10th to the 16th we will have some sort of NSFW or SFW piece (though very little of the latter) for one of our three characters. I was planning on leaving the last werewolf KiriBakuDeku for day 7 but that’s Eijiro’s birthday and I would rather be damned than let him share a birthday fic with Bakugou and Deku. So... TADA!

Day 1: In your Debt

Vampire Midoriya (10 October)

You were almost eaten alive, seconds away from getting sucked dry, when all of a sudden, a green haired vampire comes in to save you. And you will no doubt needs his help again, but he’s hungry too. (NSFW Warning) [Uploaded]

Day 2: The Demon, Kacchan

Demon Bakugou (11 October)

You knew you should have never listened to Denki when he suggested going to that frat party. Now you were being sacrificed to a demon they all call, Kacchan. (NSFW Warning) [Uploaded]

Day 3: Exploring Each Other

Siren/Merman Kirishima (12 October)

You always loved taking a walk on the beach, when suddenly, the most beautiful voice is heard far into the waves. (NSFW Warning) [Uploaded]

Day 4: Bound by Eternity

Kitsune Midoriya (13 October)

You had always served at your parents' shrine. And the deity of that shrine has taken more than a liking to you. He soon realises why. (NSFW Warning) [Uploaded]

Day 5: Mr Snake

Naga Bakugou (14 October)

They always told you to stay out of the forest. Sometimes the snakes there were bigger than you thought they were. (NSFW Warning.) [Uploaded]

Day 6: Owing you

Werewolf Bakugou, Kirishima and Midoriya (15 October)

You stumble upon a pack of werewolves that are hungry and take an interest in you. They also really like how you smell by the way. And look what nice legs you got. (NSFW Warning) [Uploaded]

Day 7: Is this yours?

Dragon Kirishima (16 October)

Your grandfather always warned you of the boys with giant smirks and playful eyes, but she never warned you about the kind ones with sharp teeth and dragon wings. (NSFW Warning) [Uploaded]

Happy Birthday to Eijiro on the 16th!! Enjoy the Monstertober Week yall!! <3

967 notes · View notes

prying-pandora666 · 1 year

Text

“The Search” Rewrites, Book 4: Air, Leaks, and A Call for Help from the Fandom

I’ve talked a little about the Book 4: Air restoration project @book4air. If you haven’t seen it yet, check it out! Three full episodes are already out and episode 4 is going to cover Zuko’s early days right after his banishment, exploring his relationship with Iroh and the world as Zuko understands it as a lost boy rapidly coming into manhood.

Wait until you hear the VA’s performance with music and everything! It’ll break your heart.

But I want to talk a little bit about what comes after these next few episodes: our adaptation of “The Search”.

If you’ve seen our adaptation of “The Promise”, you’ll know it was quite faithful. This won’t be the case for “The Search”. For the purposes of the overarching story we are telling, this story is getting overhauled. (Please still support the original release if you’d like to see the canon version).

The biggest change that’s been announced is the addition of Toph. The team felt that a story about family, identity, and faces could benefit from including Toph’s perspective as she comes from a unique but toxic family situation, has a strong conflict between the performance expected of her versus who she really is, and is completely blind and so faces don’t even register for her.

Here is the sample scene we released:

youtube

But I want to talk a little bit about what we are changing about Zuko and Azula’s roles in the story. While the set up is virtually unchanged, there is one small alteration that makes a big difference.

(Sorry for the poor quality, this is technically unreleased content and I’m being kinda risky leaking it.)

Ursa’s letters are now a diary. This means that rather than get random flashbacks, the narrative framing now becomes Zuko and Azula reading these entries together. As a result, they get to discuss their discoveries about their family, and even share each other’s perspectives.

What that means is that when things like Zuko dangling Azula over the cliff happen, now we actually are forced to address it. The characters have to talk about how they treat each other and the reasons why. They have to confront the toxic family dynamic they’ve been forced and groomed into since childhood. Zuko has to realize his mentally ill little sister isn’t the monster here and in fact he’s the one with all the power now, and Azula has to realize that Zuko can be trusted if she can let go of her fear long enough to talk to him about her vulnerabilities.

We also address issues like this:

Many people criticize this for being OOC, but I think there’s a way this could easily not be. Sokka has been known to be juvenile and reactionary as a first response, the difference is that he always eventually apologizes and learns from his mistakes. Without even needing to be asked.

Threatening a mentally ill person who has just been removed from an asylum—even as a joke—is not okay. It would be questionable even if they’d been friends before this, but considering their prior relationship it really does seem like an boneheaded lack of awareness or compassion for how triggering this could be.

So rather than remove this interaction, we addressed it. And I am really taking a risk posting this here, but here is a brand new script page:

Sokka isn’t just comic relief. Sokka is smart, Sokka is compassionate, Sokka is brave, and Sokka knows when it’s time to apologize and reach out versus when it’s time to fight.

Safe to say, there are several things that stay the same and we tried to keep faithful to the spirit of the story, but there’s a lot we wanted to do for the Gaang and for the Fire Sibs, and I hope you’ll join us on this adventure, whether you’re a diehard fan of the comics and just looking for a fun AU, or you hate the comics and would like a rewrite, or even if you’ve never read them and would just love to return to the world of ATLA.

The only trouble is, we can’t do it alone. The project is very expensive and time consuming to produce. Our team pays for everything out of pocket and some of us don’t even have reliable housing, so it’s been a hard time.

If you can help in any way, even only by spreading the word so YouTube will stop burying us in the algorithm, that would be huge!

If you can afford to help, we have a Patreon where you can get all sorts of early goodies.

Reblogs and comments greatly appreciated! As the head writer and voice of Azula, this project is very near and dear to me. Avatar was my first pro-writing gig when I was just a homeless 19 year old, and it’s here for me again as I struggle to rebuild my life and health that COVID destroyed.

I love this series and the community that has helped me through the hardest times in my life. I can’t wait to make something beautiful with you all!

#avatar #atla #avatar the last airbender #The seach #Azula #Zuko #Sokka #book 4 air restoration project #Youtube

224 notes · View notes

selfaware-bungou-stray-dogs · 3 months

Note

Hello, I'm back to drop more questions regarding the BSD x SAGAU work. 1. How is the relationship between the elemental monsters (like slimes or hypotasises), the cursed Khaenri'ah (hilichurls, the Abyss Order), Celestia, the Traveller, and the Fake Creator and Reader? 2. How much knowledge does the BSD cast have of Teyvat and Reader's identity? 3. How did the Reader disappear for the first time? 4. Is Teyvat self-aware? Is these too much questions? I hope I didn't cross any boundaries. Keep up the work! I'm really looking forward to your new works! Take care <3

Hello!

Don't worry, I am fine with answering all questions you have. And all these questions were fine.

Thanks for your support ☺️

1. 1. With elemental monsters: They can feel Echoes of Creator's powers coming from Reader. They don't attack Reader, listen to them. Reader have no reason to worry about fighting with them. Moreover, they would help Reader, if someone tried to attack them. But, if Fake Creator decided to go after Reader themselves, Elemental Monsters won't do anything to help. They won't help Reader or Fake Creator. For Elemental Monsters, both Reader and Fake Creator look like True/Real Creator.

1.2. Situation with hilichurls are similar to situation with Elemental Monsters. But, they can choose sides and can be manipulated. So, there are hilichurls, that would chase after Reader.

1.2.1. Abyss Order believe in Fake Creator. They are searching for Reader, helping humans hunting Reader. Abyss Order manipulate hilichurls into choosing Fake Creator's side.

1.3. Celestia is on Reader's side. They were True Creator's (First one) familiars, they knew, how exactly Creator's reincarnations will look like. They see Fake Creator as an abomination. A crime against First Creator.

That's the reason why Fake Creator destroy Celestia. So they won't tell the truth about Fake Creator.

Celestia is weak, but Celestia gods and Sustainer will give away everything they had to protect Reader.

1.4. Traveler are really confused. Both Reader and Fake Creator have similar auras. Traveler can't tell the difference between them. On one hand, there are poor Reader, who are love in fear of being captured. On second hand, there are Fake Creator, who helped their sibling. Who reunited Aether and Lumine. And Abyss Sibling want Reader's blood. So, Traveler are hunting Reader down.

1.5. Fake Creator hate Reader. Fake are sure, that Reader came into Teyvat to overthrow them. Fake Creator want to kill Reader and absorb their powers. Fake Creator will do anything to get all Reader's powers, even, if it means to do unspeakable things to Reader and their body.

2. For BSD Cast, Teyvat was a fictional world. When they still were in their own world, they were looking through other apps Reader have on their phone, they didn't feel anything strange coming from Genshin Impact. Moreover, they played in Genshin Impact (helping Reader with exploration, chests and oculus) while Reader were doing something else.

BSD Cast weren't interested in Genshin Impact too much. Until Reader disappeared, reappeared, and Capitano followed them.

After that, BSD Cast start looking for an info about Teyvat.

Katai, Naomi, Kirako, teens and kids (Karma, Kenji, Kuyoka, Kyuusaku, Aya, Elise, Sakura, Yuu, Katsumi, Shinji and Kousuke) are searching through Wiki, YouTube, Reddit, Tumblr, TV Tropes, looking for Genshin lore.

Others are traveling to Teyvat through the portal and spying on Teyvat people, learning about Creator.

So, they became knowledgeable about Teyvat and Creator.

They still not sure about Reader's identity. BSD Cast think, that Reader can be either Creator's reincarnation, or Reader simply look the same as Creator. There is no way for them to prove it or disprove. Reader's powers only work in Teyvat, and BSD Cast won't let Reader return there.

Reader's identity doesn't matter to BSD Cast. They love/like and cherish Reader. Reader were hurt. Someone must pay for that.

3. It was an incident. Fake Creator tried to search for more things, that were left from previous reincarnations, so they used a "spell" to transport everything, that have First Creator's powers in Teyvat. And Reader are considered part of "everything, that have Creator's powers".

4. Teyvat is Self-Aware to some extent. It can "feel", what kind of powers, both Reader and Fake Creator. It even can tell, who are real and who are fake. But, its powers are limited.

First Creator add a rule into Teyvat's 'soul', while creating it.

'Humans over all. You can never hurt them on purpose'

Teyvat also can't hurt any reincarnation of First Creator.

So, Teyvat's actions are careful and limited. It can't hurt people, who are after Reader. But, Teyvat can hide Reader, made others stop chasing you because of a bad weather. It can show Reader secret save paths.

Teyvat also can play small 'pranks' on Fake Creator, making them trip, or flooding their Cathedrals and Palace, freeze their gardens.

______

Tag list: @withered-blossoms , @myluckymoon @cocodrilofeliz @c4xcocoa @vvyeislazzy @whisperingwinters

#self-awarebsd #self-awareau #bungou stray dogs au #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd anime #bsd x gender neutral reader #gender neutral reader #imposter sagau #genshin sagau #genshin impact sagau #sagau #sagau impostor au

107 notes · View notes

yandere-sins · 11 months

Text

The Orcas' Tale - Choose Nerrocan (BE 1)

Well... yeah. You guys did that :') Then again, I am actually happy we got this bad end since it'll work quite nicely into the rest of the story as an ironic butterfly effect. Thank you for the experience! It was a challenge to write what I wanted to portrait, but I am glad to have had the chance and... good luck re-voting xD

Fandom: Original Content Pairings: Yandere!Orca Mermen x GN!Reader Warnings: Yandere, Monsters, Violence (Scratching, Ripping off a leg, Blood loss, Lunging for the reader, Mention of biting their throat), Non-consensual touches, Animalistic behavior, Mention of blood/claws/sharp teeth, Hinting at death

"Nerrocan," you voiced your decision, trying to sound determined as you directed your gaze at the merman to your left.

He perked up, muscles tensing as he stretched his back, meeting your eyes over his shoulder with a mix of surprise and disdain swirling in his. However, your attention was drawn away by the other two, hissing and snarling, teeth bared at their own kind while Nerrocan had his gaze fixed on you. Only you.

You realized your mistake too late, your gaze being blocked by a mess of black and white as Nerrocan sprung into action, lunging at you.

"Wait! Stop!" you yelled, your voice bouncing off the walls, never to be echoed between the treasures and the bodies.

The splashing intensified, the merman needing less than a split second to reach you. Panic set in before you could reason with yourself. Come to terms with what you had agreed upon and why you didn't need to fear it. But how could you believe that, even just for a second? The claws reaching for you were against everything 'human' about them. They had the faces of allies, but everything else about them was wrong and unsettling. The way Nerrocan pounced for you activated ancient instincts in your head. The ones where cavemen fought against predators, the possibility of being eaten at every corner keeping them on high alert and constantly looking over their shoulder. It reminded you not to trust. To be careful. With those instincts rose the underlying fears that had been erased by the rise of humanity as the supreme race on this planet and the safety it promised.

But in the ocean, you weren't safe. Humanity never had been.

"Fucking Nerrocan," you heard Lyr spit, his voice only scratching at the edge of your awareness, unable to take hold as all your focus was directed at the hands wrapped around your legs, squeezing your flesh so unbearably tight in their grip. Lyr sounded displeased and disgusted as he had to watch Nerrocan claim what Lyr would have liked to have just as much, his tailfin thrashing against the water angrily. Yet, you had no time to avert your eyes from the glowing amber ones that shoved themselves into your face.

"I hope you don't regret that, Human," Krill added, their bodies disappearing from the corners of your eyes as they entirely vanished in the pool. Their voices were just a nick at your attention, hardly registering as your legs were pulled out from under you, your upper body crashing to the ground with pebbles puncturing your back through the fabric of your clothes.

All you could do was scream as claws dug into your thighs, ripping and shredding your pants, as well as too many layers of skin to count. You couldn't see Nerrocan's reaction to the high-pitched sound through your blurry visions, tears being the only indication of pain as your brain tried to ignore the bleeding and burning scratches along your legs.

"Impossible," you heard Nerrocan whisper in between your own sobs. His grip briefly loosened as he held your leg, weighing it in his palm before clasping his fingers around it again.

"Please, stop," you whimpered, unsure how you'd ever recover trust with any of these mermen after this. Nerrocan had been so quiet and composed until this moment, you didn't think he'd go about this whole 'exploring' thing with such uncaring force. Didn't these creatures know about gentleness? Softness? Were there only animalistic instincts to be found behind their intelligent eyes and heads held high?

"It hurts," you added, his gaze briefly darting to you. Blinking away the tears, you tried to read his thoughts, the amber giving nothing away that you could make sense of. All you could see was less and less sympathy in them as the seconds passed. The exact opposite of what you needed. His hands wrapped around your left leg, tighter and tighter. One on your thigh, the other on your shin. Nerrocan closed your leg, pressing shin to your thigh, never even pretending to test your flexibility as he forced your muscles to bend. Your knee began to strain, tightened with friction to the point of your joints screaming, the same exact sound you let out through your mouth.

"This is already enough to make you scream? I can't believe I let myself get caught by something so weak."

Every word he uttered dripped from his lips with hatred. Had you not been in so much pain, hearing his contempt would have made you shiver. You were in no place to judge him for his feelings, not knowing him or what he had been through. But you couldn't help but push through your pain, reaching forward. Your hand could barely wrap around two of his fingers, but you still tried to pry them off, one by one, if you had to. He might feel slighted about something, but repaying his pain with yours was not going to make this easier for him.

"Look at you, constricted and breakable at the same time. Nothing to protect you. Nothing to actually come close to our strength," Nerrocan sneered, sliding his hand down to press your foot upwards, almost flat against your shin. Rigid from the cold environment, your tendons now threatened to rip if the strain didn't subside. With all your power, you lurched your upper body forward, digging your fingers into his arm. There was no time to admire the muscles under the taut skin, not when you were desperate to get him off you, fearing him actually breaking or ripping something that would be hard to heal without access to modern medicine if he continued.

"You're going to break it!" you pressed out through clenched teeth, hoping to make him snap out of it audibly. "I need my legs! Stop it!"

"Or what?" he asked, directing his gaze back at you, his focus drilling into you. Suddenly, he emitted such calm, but one look at his eyes, and you found the storm brewing inside him. At least for the moment, he stopped squeezing. "What are you going to do? Catch me again? Drag me into some weird cave full of sounds and people of your kind? Shoot me with your weapons again before dumping me back into the water, bleeding, and with more of your weird machines attached to my body?"

"I didn't do that!" you tried to defend yourself, finally realizing what had this creature so agitated. You never considered how they got the trackers, only focusing on the fact that the mermen could lead you back to where those came from. But now that you had a few seconds to think about it, every one of those seconds causing Nerrocan's grip to tighten around your leg again, you realized that there was no way these mermen would have agreed to the trackers, not even understanding what they were.

"No, you didn't," he agreed, and a small moment of relief washed over you, knowing he realized that. Somewhere inside him was a reasonable person to talk to. Someone who'd understood if you explained yourself. Someone you could trust.

But the relief was short-lived.

Suddenly, Nerrocan straightened your leg, pulling it further and further away from you by your ankle, his other hand wandering up to your hips. "But what says you won't in the future? What if we help you survive here while you play helpless, and then you catch us and hurt us again? Can't have that, can we?"

The sound of your own scream could barely be heard in your own ears over the sound of your blood rushing through your body, your heart working twice as fast as your bone began to detach from your hips. You knew that if Nerrocan wanted, he could have ripped your leg off fast and efficiently, barely breaking a sweat. But he didn't. Instead, he reveled in the sight of your pain, the panic, and the mind-breaking feeling of your leg being pulled from your body. In the middle of your skin ripping, flesh separating in the most gruesome of ways, he briefly stopped, your body going limb from the trauma and pain, your vision blurred with spots as you took a deep breath, the pain having yet to register. And then, with one swift pull, not fast enough to make it quick, but with less patience than before, your whole life came crashing down before your eyes.

You still felt the phantom of your left leg, the nerves twitching and receiving signals from your brain to move and work. But the loss of blood, a large red puddle disgracing the cave floor as you gurgled in shock, made you lose your conscience faster than you wanted. You tried to focus your gaze on Nerrocan, watching him lick off the blood on his fingers with just as much contempt as he had shown you the last few minutes, making you realize his anger wasn't stilled. It had done nothing for him and neither for you.

Could you have done something different? Would it have helped him if you had the time to talk and explain these things he mistrusted and feared? Could you have done anything to avoid this act of raw violence? Something went wrong, but you couldn't pinpoint where your fault started and where it ended. All you knew was that your choice hadn't been the right one, your trust misguided by these strange creatures before you even had a chance to understand them.

Before you had to watch Nerrocan lunge forward, feel his sharp, bone-breaking teeth bite into your throat like the killer he was, you passed out. It was an act of kindness from your body, and you were welcomed by darkness. It flooded all your senses, all your perception of time and self, enveloping you like a warm pool that you kept sinking further and further into with no strength left to swim.

Your eyes never opened again, for better or for worse.

Seems like you didn't make it… What a shame. And I was so rooting for you, too! Isn't there a way to capture the heart of these creatures? Don't you think you can do better than this? Maybe if you tried again, we could find out…

Hmm… interesting. I look forward to what you will do from here on out.

316 notes · View notes

mihai-florescu · 4 days

Text

Putting a message i sent earlier under a read more, it has some thoughts ive expressed before tho. ES, of course

My thoughts as an EichiP... i view ! and !! as different stories in the way they're approached tbh, what i fell in love with enstars for was the character driven storytelling of one event seen through different perspectives, where you see the antagonist in one perspective become a protagonist in another story and can empathize with the entire cast like this. I fell in love with eichi's story of second chances, getting what you want and regretting your actions in the process, redemption, desperation, overcoming fate and asserting one's self into the story, saving a school in a dying industry that saved your life by giving you a dream; i consider it an arc fulfilling to the reader at the end of ! era. But we still had to continue... and it's not like we didnt get inklings of eichi's dreams of idol utopia, the idol soldier idea goes back to main story 1, but !! loses the charm of the original series through expanding the worldbuilding so much and shifting to a plot driven story that opens 10 cans of worms instead of offering resolutions. There's not really room to breathe if the stakes just keep getting higher and higher...

As for the colonisation plotline, it's been here since the beginning of ES2. The SS arc makes it obvious, but i remember even before, the talks about ES taking over from local businesses, trying to be seen as the standard, it was always the direction ensemble square as an institution would take. But the "antagonist in one story, protagonist in another" approach doesnt work anymore with such subjects. The guys responsible for this are your coworkers you share dorms with. I read the stories but cant empathize anymore, so i've been feeling disconnected from eichi for a while. I see enstars with eichi at its core but i didnt care for his center event, i read it, didnt like the ending, and overall felt off. Eichi becoming the villain of ! to attone for the war kind of loses significance if a year later he is a cartoon villain idol colonialist you can't even sympathize with anymore because of the magnitude of events. However i do think !! has done good things for some characters pushing them further or developing them in a way ! didnt. But for others...

I also have my issues with sci fi elements becoming the norm, even taken metaphorically or as hyperboles, when one of the central themes i love about enstars is humanity. Then again, i am a war era fan that relied on manipulating human desires and perceptions, and the fact that there were no monsters or gods, just humans framed as such, playing on people's fears and beliefs, it's a bit jarring to me to have them introduce AIs forming from escaped comatose brains (im minimizing the switch climax rn, i didnt even hate it as a whole, just this resolution im unhappy with)

It also feels like we've lost some of the meta aspects of the writing i liked, a certain awareness of being characters in a story and there being an audience. But im still struggling to word my thoughts on this matter. I felt it present in main story 2, even if it annoyed me at parts in its obviousness ("good thing we're not protagonists, no one would want to read about us" youre right aira you are not interesting to me. And yet i'll read your story to try and empathize nevertheless. I have other thoughts on aira too, perhaps for another time). I wish we explored a bit more what it means to no longer be the central protagonist, from trickstar's perspective...and brought back the successors topic. But i havent read every ts story yet so i'd be foolish to complain before really making sure i've checked everything. To me ! ended satisfyingly with room left for elaborations and imagination, but i dont feel like !!'s ending is really ending anything at all. Not necessarily bad since it's not like the game is shutting down, but overwhelming worldbuilding wise while underwhelming character wise...

Let's see... im not sure how to end this. Just a bit of a stream of consciousness as a ! fan who still loves enstars despite my critiques. Mainly, well, no one's gonna take away the stories that already exist that i do love and impacted my life greatly. And i do think !! had some really good things too it brought, or at least stories i hold dear too. Change is scary and i don't think it's always for the best, but it's also fun to see where it goes next...

#enstars

29 notes · View notes

bestworstcase · 14 days

Note

I am vexed bestworstcase, vexed! I am trying to write dialogue/interactions between Salem and Oscar and struggling with their characterizations. I keep turning the interrogation/false-start reunion scene in the whale over and over again in my mind. What would it look like for Oscar and Salem to be forced to talk to and interact with each other on more even ground or working towards a truce? (With a big ol Oz shaped elephant in the room.) I want to get across Oscar as an active participant with autonomy and not flatten him, while also reckoning with Salem’s complex headspace around this whole shitshow. Do you have an idea of how you’d approach writing that dynamic? Any advice on how to make such a dynamic hold true to their characters while being an interesting exploration of their relationship? [What fucking happens if they’re kind to each other when they’re both expecting cruelty???] Genuinely interested in your thoughts on this considering the show itself will inevitable have to revisit this dynamic at its climax and conclusion

basics first. my general read on salem is that she has a solid grasp of what makes people tick but struggles to articulate her thoughts clearly, and this has cascading impacts on her speech: if she isn’t delivering planned and rehearsed remarks, she seems to either circumlocute (in ways that are, textually, confusing: “what are you saying” + her inner circle’s wildly different interpretations of what she means) or just say nothing at all.

i think this reading explains salem’s manner of speech far better than the pure ‘manipulative, lying puppetmaster’ angle a lot of the fandom ascribes to her, because there are these incidents—like the interrogation scene—where salem is being manipulative and her tactics are very cunning but undermined by her erratic or flat affect and unclear speech; if she were a masterful manipulator being cryptic on purpose for the sake of deception, she would be able to turn that off and speak plainly in situations where being cryptic is counterproductive to her purpose. but it really doesn’t seem like she can do that.

complicating all this is that 1. i think salem is aware that she’s Not Good at conversation, and 2. she wants to be understood. her constant seething about ozma’s lies is partly from the traumatic betrayal of her trust and also partly because he’s spent the intervening centuries poisoning the well against her to ensure that anyone who meets her will have the preconceived notion that she’s an unfeeling, unreasonable, inhuman monster. so there’s a degree of self-protection in her silence and her aversion to talking about herself, i think—if ozma couldn’t give her the benefit of the doubt, why would she expect better from anyone else?

with oscar specifically—i’m assuming a post-v8/9 context—there’s also the complication of salem having. tortured him. the last time they spoke which i feel is almost a bigger goliath in the room than oz is, because salem is actually pretty on the ball with separating oscar from her feelings about ozma. but the torture is very personal and very fraught for both of them; do you acknowledge it? apologize? ask for an apology? if oscar doesn’t bring it up, should she? is salem doesn’t acknowledge what she did, how does oscar navigate whatever feelings he might have about that or assumptions he might make as to why (is she pretending it never happened? does she think it doesn’t matter? will she get angry if he brings it up? the last time he tried to reason with someone ironwood shot him off a ledge)? it’s delicate.

some uh, general things that i try to hold in mind when i write dialogue for salem:

what is she thinking and not saying?

why isn’t she saying it? is she afraid of not being understood or is she not able to see the gaps or is she not sure how to put it into words?

what does she mean?

is this something she planned out in advance (or something she talks about often enough to have a sort of script in her mind), or is she speaking off the cuff?

when in doubt, she should probably say less

remember that her affect gets erratic and weird when she’s really uncertain

does she have people on her side whom she can kind of rely on to fill in the gaps (eg, summer) or is she on her own?

her soliloquies are eloquent, even poetic; her speech tends to be simpler. she rarely uses metaphors in conversation.

she tends to answer questions by giving examples that imply her intended meaning, and i am… not sure she realizes that she’s doing it. (cinder in v5 is a good example: salem says “never underestimate the usefulness of others; take leonardo, he was one of ozpin’s most trusted, and now…” when what she means is she’s hoping she can turn ruby against oz later)

when she isn’t sure how to respond she sort of stares blankly into the middle distance for a second or two. (she does it with cinder in v5 and oscar in v8)

oscar is similar in a way because i think he spends a lot of time in his head and it’s rare for him to get to a point of emotional enough to let out… any of the deep existential fear he’s living in, and i get the sense that he’s very conscious of what he says—which can come out in awkward stammering but also in a very deliberate cadence when he’s feeling more confident or determined or too focused on what he’s trying to express to feel self-conscious about it. but at the same time he’s easier because he doesn’t have, gestures at salem and her labyrinth of emotional armor, all of that. and wasn’t alone for millions of years.

with the specific context of olive branches and peace talks i think—esp at first—salem’s liable to be pretty tangibly awkward? because being asked questions and engaged with like a Person instead of a Fairytale Witch runs so counter to her expectations for how people will treat her. kind of a rattling experience, and nerve-wracking.

rewatching scenes is always useful. i try to take note of like body language and cadence ’cause achieving dialogue that feels in character is as much about how the character talks as what sort of things they say. and also thinking about character goals and emotionality—what are they trying to get from this interaction, how do their feelings influence their speech, do they succeed or fail and why?—is helpful too. what motivates the words they say? what motivates the thoughts they keep to themselves?

21 notes · View notes

acat-foryournap · 3 months

Text

Catnap!

[the purple cat approached, his moon jiggling with each step. His head tilting side to side with each move. Humming at sync with the other's chant of his name]

Catnap!

[he stopped infront of the rest of the smiling critters and the children. A happy sigh left his mouth allowing the red smoke to come out]

[STATIC]

(Hello, I am the mod. One anon called me mod wish so It'll just be mod wish now)

(this blog is a Catnap roleplay account. I am not that aware of Poppy Playtime's lore, so excuse me if I say anything that doesn't sound like something this cat would say, or doesn't quite fit with the lore)

(also, this is not small Catnap, this is the monster that stalks you while you explore the facility in chapter 3)

This will be for when Catnap speaks

[this will be for any actions, like a Narrator]

(this for when me, the mod, speaks)

(Also, be patient with me, the rest of my askblogs aren't that big, so if I suddenly stop posting, don't worry, i'll get to It eventually)

(The rules are simple,

𓆏 I won't allow any type of harassement.

𓆏 I won't answer any NSFW asks, I am a minor.

𓆏 I won't allow you guys to force blogs to interact with this one and

𓆏 I won't do any ships.

𓆏 I'll most likely prioritize normal asks instead of roleplay starters. I apologize for that, so if you sent a roleplay started, be patient

𓆏 the tags: #rp? Is when i'm roleplaying but not being serious at all

#rp is when i'm roleplaying, serious and jokingly

#reblog is when I reblog something

#ask is when I answer an ask

I won't hesitate to block you if needed.)

(enjoy your stay)

Unrelated stuff!

Ship names (look at comments and reblogs)

Secret Drawing Box

#catnap #poppy playtime #poppy Playtime chapter 3

38 notes · View notes

evesaintyves · 11 months

Note

Ok long annoying question incoming: Whenever I read your remadora stories im always interested in how you portray lupin with his relationship with sex. I always got the feel that werewolves were looked as sort of sexual predators in the wizarding world. I mean the way greyback is written was very creepy, “specializing in children”, wanting to eat hermione because of her “soft skin”, yikes.

Because of that reputation do you think lupin views himself as a sexual predator when he’s feeling just basic lust? Not even specific to tonks, like do you think he has trouble with his feelings of attraction to anyone. How do you think puberty was like for him? How does gender play into this, does he feel like he’s objectifying whatever person he’s attracted to? Would he even have sex before a relationship like tonks? Is he jealous of Sirius and James because they can be more free with their sexuality? Lol so many questions sorry

hi anon! not annoying at all, thanks for sending an ask! i'm always happy to get them, even if i'm not great about answering them in a timely manner (or at all)

tbh i'm not really a meta-writer and i don't usually fw headcanons too much outside the context of developing a story - but here are some thoughts based on the characterization choices i've made in my work. they are entirely speculative; canon has very little to say about how Remus Lupin uses his dick.

TW for sex, violence, sexual violence, wizard porn, endnotes, Moonchaser*, stuff i wrote at 4 am

so to start there are a couple of much better metas out there by other authors that you might like:

@bikelock28 has a really good meta on werewolves as sexual predators that covers this really well and explores lupin's struggle with it.

@ashesandhackles also has a great meta on the psychology of lupin's lycanthropy/marginalization called the gentleman monster

so yeah, i think you're dead on about the sexual subtext of greyback. in canon we first see people disgusted by and afraid of werewolves¹ and eventually we find out about greyback's notoriety as a child predator². Lupin obviously expresses occasional self-loathing in canon, and my take on that is that he's internalized some of the responses he gets from people aware of his status and some generally-held prejudices against werewolves—he pushes back against Harry's assertion that he's a normal person with a problem³, he refers to himself as "dangerous⁴**," he speaks of himself as having "tried to live amongst wizards⁵," which to me implies that he thinks of other wizards not as peers but as betters who tolerate him. i think his carefully neutral, people-pleasing, equivocating tendencies are his attempt to build a self around the rejection of whatever people might believe about werewolves.

do you think Lupin views himself asa predator when he's feeling basic lust?

my feeling is that, because of all these ideas he's absorbed about what werewolves are like, Lupin might pathologize and abhor some of his own thoughts & behaviors, maybe even normal/typical ones, and have a difficult relationship with urge, impulse, and desire.

How does gender play into this?

he's a boomer who hangs out with a bunch of bros, he takes a kind of patronizing attitude with Tonks in their confrontation in the hospital wing⁶, and he was written by an author who went on to make gender essentialism her whole entire deal as a person, so i feel like he's probably at least a little sexist. i think, just because it's part of the sexist background radiation we all receive, he probably understands women as vulnerable and passive-receptive in heterosexual relationships - so my thought is that he probably has extra hangups about hooking up with women. i think he'd probably have hangups about any sex where the power dynamic favored him, and there are a lot of things about penetration, exchange of fluids, etc. that seem like they might trigger any internalized ideas about himself as violent, sexually rapacious, diseased, etc.

Would he even have sex before a relationship like Tonks?

I don't particularly headcanon Lupin as lifelong-celibate before Tonks, but I get why some people do and it's fine. My personal instinct is that if he experiences sexual desire, he probably finds an outlet for it one way or another***. I think one of Lupin's specific hangups with Tonks is that she's asking for a relationship, she's asking to love him and for some kind of commitment on his part - I think he'd struggle with those more than he might struggle with casual sex. Not just because of the risks to which they'd expose Tonks; some of Lupin's behavior in canon is pretty self-serving - specifically, self-protective against conflict or rejection⁷ - and I think being in any kind of serious relationship might expose him to an uncomfortable kind of vulnerability. personally, i think that's probably a key factor in his apparent misery in the early days of his marriage and his eventual ditching of Tonks—yes, he was trying to protect her, but my suspicion is that he was trying to protect himself too: from the permanent commitments of family after a life spent moving between places and jobs and societies, from the guilt of producing a werewolf kid, and from all the risks of pain and failure that a relationship would bring.

What would puberty be like for him?

Lupin's relationship with his body seems like it must have been pretty fucked up at baseline so starting to grow face & body hair and get physically bigger (and thus harder to control during full moons at home) was probably kind of rough. early sexual feelings and the realization that sexual relationships are going to be difficult and fraught at best for him probably sucked too

Is he jealous of Sirius and James?

so there's that line in the extracanonical Lupin bio where he says of Sirius "he always got the women." i really hate the incelness of this line, but if you want to consider it canon, then sure. tbh i think most of the Pottermore stuff is kind of trash

there's no interaction i'm aware of between Lupin & Sirius in book-canon that would give me the impression that he's jealous, and Lupin always seems to warmly & fondly remember James so... i think it'd be fine if a writer wanted to try and build a case for this dynamic between Lupin and his friends, but it doesn't resonate with me specifically. honestly, I think it'd be easier to make the case that he had a little crush on James than that he was jealous.

if you've read this far, hi, and also i just wanted to mention that i have a fic coming out in July that explores some of Lupin's struggle with—and terror of—his sexuality so stay tuned if you're into that

*god i fucking hate ship names how about "Rames" "Jemus" "Pupin"

** obviously, a werewolf is dangerous at the full moon and it makes sense to be afraid of encountering one. as a reason not to be in a romantic relationship, though, it suggests to me that Lupin thinks of himself as violent/untrustworthy/impure in a general sense

*** ok new headcanon Lupin is one of those guys with an absolutely massive and meticulously-organized porn collection. i bet wizards could make a pretty dope fleshlight. like remember that care of magical creatures book that's just like a weird hairy animal mouth? okay i'll stop

¹ PoA, pp. 336-337

² HBP, pp. 334-335

³ HBP, p. 335

⁴ HBP, p. 615

⁵ HBP, p. 333

⁶ HBP, p. 615

⁷ PoA, pp. 345-346; OoTP, pp. 719, 721

#remus lupin #remadora #hp meta #hp headcanon

92 notes · View notes

notbecauseofvictories · 6 months

Text

Halloween Week of Horror (Games)

It’s that most horrible time of year, and I’ve decided to explore the spooky world of text-based games. My list of games is cribbed from this post and this post.

Just a couple today, since tomorrow and Halloween I’m going to focus on some of the bigger names on my list!

GAMEIFY HORROR // DAY 1 // DAY 2 // DAY 3 // DAY 4 // DAY 5

DAY 6, mary's hare, god is in the radio, if on a winter's night four travelers

mary’s hare

Mary’s Hare is short interactive horror story about a woman and a rabbit, based on the story of Mary Toft.

I have to admit, I love the story of Mary Toft. One of history's strange parables about scientific certainty, hoaxes, people, and the human knowledge-making project. Just recently I was reading about how incredibly painful Mary Toft's deception would have been, and reevaluates whether Mary was pushed or driven by those around her.

This game, though, this took the little parable to its blood-streaked ending, much more than reality ever did. I loved the creeping sense of horror (Mary wasting away; the missing husband!) and then the visceral, haunting ending. I have to admit I like it when these horror poems are brief, stark and almost poetic—it makes me think of Emily Carroll, and terror that is also poetry.

SPOOKY LEVEL: 5/10, mostly for medical horror (pregnancy, blood, etc.)

OVERALL GRADE: A-

god is in the radio

you are death, one of 22 members of the major arcana, a cult dedicated to some far-off god. the night is halloween, and you watch in scorn as the unknowing dance among devils and dress to indulge in sin. the high priestess receives a message from the all-mighty himself: the arcana must gather in an abandoned house and find his song on an old radio receiver.

I think one of the most surprising parts of this game is that it was all written in a few hours; something so well-realized seems like it should have taken longer. Dreamlike and strange, not entirely explained, but still a neat little story—neat as in “cool,” not as in tidy. (Especially given that picking “HOPE” means you die as a bloody sacrifice in the name of your nameless god...)

Still, the storytelling is lovely, and I loved the growing awareness that you’re missing pieces of what came from before (e.g., the brief mention of your brother; the injuries that you know have an explanation but that no one recalls.) I'm still thinking about one of the endings, where you break out, run---only to realize it’s just a regular Halloween night.

SPOOKY LEVEL: 5/10 for gore, but otherwise it's just spooky

OVERALL GRADE: B-

if on a winter's night, four travelers

a narrative-driven point-and-click adventure with horror elements that explores the stories of four characters in a masked ball taking place aboard a train in the late 1920s.

Quite haunting and lovely, which is especially impressive given the limited scope of its graphics. Yet for a pixelated world, it managed to be intensely gripping---the sun-drenched hotel room, the gloomy mansion that is suddenly revived in a dream, the cramped rooms near the surgical theater, and even the shadowy train car you find yourself in. Not to mention that the images presented are shifting, flexible, from the transformation of the beautiful home (beautiful and sunny, to grey and increasingly destroyed) to the hidden underside of the world (haunted by monsters, drowned, bloody).

Special credit to the third plotline you explore---I am still dizzyingly weak for European magic, and that underside of the world is so hauntingly painted.

As a last note, I loved that it took haunted people and gave them---well, not exactly a soft place to land, but perhaps softer than they might have had otherwise. It was a gentle note to end on.

SPOOKY LEVEL: 3/10, and then mostly for death, decay, and grief; nothing jumps out at you

OVERALL GRADE: A

#gameify horror #the oldest and strongest emotion of mankind

31 notes · View notes

bluedalahorse · 1 year

Text

Philosophies of Justice and Narrative Catharsis in Young Royals

Do you ever just have… conversations with yourself at 2 am?

Me: Wow. August did some bad shit. I want him to get therapy and help, but I also want him to face some kinda legal punishment.

Also me: Oh, self. You don’t trust cops or judges or prisons. The legal system would be way harsher on Simon about the drugs. Doesn’t that give you anxiety?

A third me, thousands of words in and possessed by a hyperfocus demon: Well fuck. We might be doing a meta about it. It’s okay, this can just be building blocks for our graduate school thesis on YA literature. Ahaha it’s fine.

The following meta looks at philosophies of justice, both retributive and restorative, as they appear in the worldbuilding Young Royals. This is a monster of a meta, like ~6500 words long, so be aware of that going in. Content note for discussion of all the usual crime topics in YR, as well as the injustices present in real world legal systems.

Intro: Shifting the Focus

Fandom loves discussing—and disagreeing about—the redemption arc. Who can blame us? As human beings, we’re wired to notice novelty, and redemption arcs involve a character experiencing some sort of dramatic transformation. This transformation could be gradually built up to for a series of chapters or seasons, or it could be sudden and jarring. It could involve one big dramatic gesture or a series of small changes. Whatever happens, fans end up debating what they see onscreen.

Now, I love a good discussion. I also love stories that poke beyond simple notions of good and evil, where characters are capable of change in multiple directions, And yet, as someone who has spent years in fandom, I increasingly find the discussion of redemption arcs unsatisfying and even boring. Everyone seems to have their own definition of what constitutes “enough” good deeds for a character’s redemption, and even their own opinions of who is worthy of redemption in the first place. It seems we can’t entirely agree on what the term means, and everyone gets bogged down in discourse.

At first, my dissatisfaction prompted me to ask what I considered a well-written redemption arc. Well, no, that’s not accurate. There was a little arrogant voice inside me telling me that I, the great bluedalahorse, who has devoted many hours of academic study to various literary texts and even made complicated spreadsheets to track ideas in my favorite books, could use my genius analytical skills to find out what a perfect redemption arc is supposed to look like and develop a formula for it. And then I stepped back and laughed at myself. Since when did good writing ever follow a formula? All the best writers know how and when to break the rules. Also, I am not as much of a genius as I think I am. I’m literally just hanging out here and overthinking my fictional faves like the rest of fandom.

A lightbulb moment switched on when I attended a workshop focused on restorative justice in schools, back in the summer of 2022. As I listened and processed the things I was learning, my storyteller brain kept poking me. Hey, it was saying to me. Heyyyy can we use restorative justice principles to write better character arcs? Particularly redemption arcs? I talked to my MFA adviser about this as we began to workshop ideas for a critical thesis in Young Adult literature. We started to explore the ways that restorative justice principles showed up in books like Patron Saints of Nothing by Randy Ribay and All American Boys by Jason Reynolds and Brendan Kiely. I got a little further along in my theories, identifying techniques authors used to show characters confronting their privilege, unlearning old behaviors, and making amends for harm that they caused others. Still, something was missing. I just wasn’t getting where I wanted to with my analysis.

A few weeks ago I had a second lightbulb: what if we stop looking at justice in relationship to character arcs alone, and start looking at worldbuilding?

That clicked. Oh, boy, did it click! You really can’t talk about characters without understanding their world. Once I attended a panel on writing villains, and one of the panelists asserted that you can’t develop your villain as a character until you’ve developed your world. (Whether villains are outcasts hellbent on revenge, or oppressive tyrants at the top of their society, their world plays a role in shaping them.) Since what we call redemption arcs so often involves taking a character out of a villainous space and into a more heroic one, naturally worldbuilding has to be a factor in that kind of story. I also realized that the framing of the “redemption arc” frustrates me because on some level, it’s still tied to the Western Christian idea of individual salvation. I didn’t want to necessarily focus on what what one character does or doesn’t do individually without also focusing on that character’s relationship to other characters and their communities.

So I decided to experiment with shifting the focus of my thesis research. There were only two things left to do: come up with a framework for exploring my ideas, and test those questions out on Young Royals. Because it’s my favorite show, and it has a lot to say about justice. That said, a lot of what I say here and the methods I use could be applied to other shows as well. I’m curious to hear what it might have to say about your other favorite works of fiction!

The Framework

After some drafting during early morning bus commutes, I came up with three questions I wanted to explore when looking at Young Royals and other texts. These questions are:

What is the authorial philosophy of justice? What principles of justice are at play in how the author constructs the characters, world, and storylines?

How is justice enacted (or not) through the legal system(s) in this story’s setting? To what extent do the ideals of that legal system match up with its reality? To what extent should they?

What are the individual characters’ experiences of justice in their day to day life? What social norms do they end up creating in their smaller communities to enforce their ideas of justice?

What I like about this series of questions is that it allows a text to speak in multiple voices. There has been a lot of fandom discourse over the last ten years (and even longer, honestly, this shit goes back at least to Plato’s dialogues) about authorial intent and whether depiction equals endorsement and so on. I don’t think I’m going to end those debates today. Still, I do think it’s worth pointing out that a TV show or a book or a movie is able to tell a story and make a point in a different way than an essay or campaign speech does. You can have different characters own different parts of the truth. A particular setting can be positive for one character and negative for another. Fiction is really good at exploring paradoxes, contradictions, and tensions. I created these questions because they force me to tease out the tensions in a narrative and where there might be meaning in them.

Come on, Blue! you say. We know Young Royals has a lot of tension in it. When are you gonna start talking about your fandom? Okay. Fine. I’ll get to the sad teenagers now. Put on your school uniforms, everyone. We’re going to Hillerska!

No Good or Bad People, Only Good or Bad Actions

The title for this section comes from me paraphrasing Omar paraphrasing Lisa in an interview.

Two questions you may have about this section are: 1. What makes authorial philosophy (a term I am pretty sure I just made up for the purposes of this meta) different than authorial intent? 2. What’s the relationship between the author’s philosophy and their worldbuilding?

To answer question 1, I am defining authorial philosophy for the purposes of this meta as what the author intends + how effectively they convey that through their storytelling and craft. So like, authorial intent, but we’re also holding the author somewhat accountable for how their message comes across. Generally I read Lisa and the rest of the team as pretty intentional in how they craft their stories, and I can see how their ideas play out in practice, so I am more likely to give credence to authorial intent. I might not do that for other authors. As someone who reads heavily in the YA novel field, I’ve seen plenty of books with surface progressivism that end up being kinda reactionary when you scrape beneath that surface. Usually it’s a craft issue or the author not being intentional enogh. Young Royals, so far, has not been that kind of text.

As for question 2, authors can use their worldbuilding to reinforce their authorial philosophy, whether that’s through having characters in the story espouse said philosophy, or by using the story’s plot and character arcs to test their story, or by some combination of the two. Lisa is a writer who affords her characters a lot of grace, but I also see her as willing to test that grace and our her personal philosophy on trial. She’s very aware that ideals don’t always match up with reality, and those tensions are part of what she explores so well in her writing.

Now that we’ve addressed those questions, let’s address the authorial philosophy of Young Royal.

Young Royals stands out from other school dramas because it handles nuance so well. But how do Lisa and her team achieve that nuance? Part of it is the way their approach to characters resonates with the philosophy of restorative justice.

Restorative justice can be defined as “a system of criminal justice which focuses on the rehabilitation of offenders through reconciliation with victims and the community at large.” This website has some additional information about what restorative justice looks like in theory and practice. (Plenty of other websites do as well.) Restorative justice is really hard to pull of IRL, but philosophically it does ask us to think about the ways in which more retributive and punitive justice systems are failing people.

Now, before I get too far into my explanation, I don’t know if Lisa chose a restorative justice approach to her writing on purpose, or how much she’s read about the subject. But a lot of what she prioritizes as a writer lines up with certain RJ principles anyway. For example, RJ practitioners believe that every human being has worth and dignity, and that leaning too far into a retributive justice model (more on that in the next section) can be dehumanizing for both victims and offenders. In Lisa’s writing, each character is humanized, there are no characters who are caricatures. Everyone in Young Royals has their own reasons for behaving why they behave—even when they make choices that harm others. There aren’t excuses, but there are explanations.

Two other important ideas in RJ are accountability and dialogue. Season 2 of YR deals a lot with the question of accountability. Wilhelm’s positive growth is signaled by his willingness to be accountable for his actions; August’s more tragic arc is characterized by his baby steps toward accountability followed by his dramatic backflip away from it.

Regarding dialogue, Wilhelm’s growth is fostered by important and vulnerable conversations with others. Sometimes these conversations are with the people he harmed or impacted in a negative way. He and Felice have to talk their way through the weirdness of that kiss, while he and Simon have to talk about… well, everything. TBH they’re not done talking yet. But they’ve started, and that’s where the progress and catharsis is happening. Other times, Wilhelm’s conversations with other members of the Hillerska community—Nils and Boris come to mind—help him to see things in a new light and clarify his ideals. When we cheer on Wilhelm as he comes to better understand his privilege in the world and the weight that his actions have, we’ve been enlisted by Lisa to support restorative justice philosophy.

No one character represents Lisa’s philosophy entirely, because she’s so committed to all characters being fallible in their own ways, but I would say that of the main cast, the Eriksson siblings and Felice are the most likely to express different parts of restorative justice philosophy. All of them strive to look for people’s human side instead of relying on stereotypes. They want the people close to them to be accountable for their actions. They talk things through. They recognize the needs of multiple people in a situation. This doesn’t happen all the time, with every person, in every instance. They get distracted and led astray. There may be times where it would benefit them to get outside help and they don’t. Sometimes their efforts blow up in their face. But they’re trying, and I think Wilhelm has definitely joined them by the end of season 2.

So sure, all the characters in Young Royals might brush up against the principles of restorative justice, but they still “live in a society” as we may or may not still say on the internet. In order to understand more, let’s talk about the legal system as it’s presented in the show.

Call Your Lawyer Stepdad

As a writer, Lisa may believe in restorative justice principles, and this likely guides how she depicts the characters in her story. The legal systems she depicts in her work, however, are not restorative. What’s more, they are applied unequally based on the identity of the person who breaks laws or rules. Young Royals is very clear about the distinction between the ideals of the law and how the law actually gets enforced.

Obligatory disclaimer: I’m not a law student or someone who’s studied much comparative politics, so I can’t say for sure whether Sweden’s legal system leans more retributive or more rehabilitative. I also can’t say whether the ideals of its legal system match its reality, but I am making a safe guess that they don’t entirely. (Sweden, my ancestral homeland, I love kanelbullar and ABBA, but your current right wing government and your response to the COVID pandemic and your history of colonization, among other things, shows that you are just as capable of bullshit as any other nation. Forgive me if I approach your legal system with caution. If anyone from Sweden or another Nordic country has more info and can weigh in, feel free to weigh in.) It’s also worth mentioning my own preconceived notions here. I live in a country with a massive mass incarceration problem and a legal system that was specifically created to reinforce white supremacy, so my trust in law enforcement and courts and the like is… not high.

What I can say about the legal system in Young Royals is this: the writing of the show primarily focuses on the retributive aspects of the legal system. In a retributive justice system, those who break the law are criminals, and they are punished for their crimes. Punishment is seen as a way of deterring crime and keeping it from happening in the future.

We see the impact of a system like that when legal consequences motivate characters and the choices they make. Simon is afraid of getting caught and prosecuted for bringing drugs into school, while August fears being put on trial and imprisoned for leaking the video. What’s interesting to me, though, is that it isn’t just that both characters fear punishment. They also fear the stigma that comes with being publicly convicted of a crime. Simon doesn’t want to be stereotyped as the poor kid who comes into school and pushes drugs on the rich kids. He knows how dangerous drug addiction can be from witnessing his dad, and he brings the drugs into school out of financial desperation. August, meanwhile, wants to think of himself as an untouchable elite who is discreet about secrets, and probably (more sympathetically) also wants to think of himself as a relatively helpful guy who showed Wilhelm around school and took care of him the way Erik would have wanted. I think it’s very clever how Lisa had Simon and August each break the law in ways that betray their respective core values, because it brings this issue with a retributive justice system to light. Once someone has committed a crime, how do they move past that stigma and make themself into the sort of person who doesn’t do a crime again?

This leads to another issue with retributive justice. We often equate legality with morality subconsciously, but these two ideas are not the same thing. In August’s case, leaking the video is easy enough for us to label—it is both illegal because it is against the law and immoral because it violates Simon and Wilhelm’s right to sexual privacy. Simon bringing in his dad’s drugs—that’s against the law, sure. But is it immoral? Simon is up against a corrupt teacher who rewards students who can pay more with better grades. He needs to pay for tutoring if he want to succeed. He’s at a disadvantage because of his socioeconomic status, and he also probably hasn’t had time to process trauma around his dad’s addiction. From the point of view of a Hillerska parent, however, they’re just going to see Simon as a threat to their kid’s well-being.

Now, don’t get me wrong. Simon’s reasons for breaking the law are absolutely more sympathetic than August’s reasons. I cannot stress this enough. We see the way the system screws Simon over, and how it drives him to do what he does. Simon gets drugs to students who consent to take them, but when August films him and Wilhelm it’s without their consent. Moreover, August is complicit in Simon’s lawbreaking because he ends up being the guy who sells drugs on Simon’s behalf. (Jesus, August, sell a painting or something.) But who is the legal system in the YR universe more likely to give grace to? August. Who is it more likely to come down hard on? Simon. Simon does not have the wealth to afford a trial. He doesn’t have a lawyer stepdad on speed dial. He doesn’t have an in with the media like the royal family does, so he can’t control the public narrative of his life the same way that they can.

On a purely literal level, August dangling the threat of the pill bottle in front of everyone is the most textbook example of August being a little shit. On the thematic, level, however, this reminds us who the justice system really serves. It’s a caution against relying on the justice system—or at least relying on the justice system alone—for narrative catharsis in this story. Instead, we should be looking for narrative catharsis elsewhere. And, we should definitely be looking at more than one character arc if that is the case.

The Only Person You Can Truly Control Is Yourself

While season 2 includes the retributive justice of the legal system as part of its worldbuilding, we also see Wilhelm embody the philosophy of retributive justice through his actions. Wilhelm starts his arc in a place where he wants to punish August for what he’s done by taking away everything he cares about. He justifies this by pointing out the problems with the legal system—rich kids never actually face the consequences of their actions. While Wilhelm is correct to call that out, he ends up transforming himself into a more extreme agent of the retributive philosophy in order to pursue what he sees as justice.

Now, this is a writing gambit that could have failed spectacularly. We’ve all seen versions of the “if we are awful to our enemies, we’re just as bad as them” story that end up reinforcing an icky status quo. But that’s not exactly what happens in Young Royals. The first thing to notice is that Wilhelm’s approach works… initially. August has lost a lot at the beginning of season 2, part of it due to Wilhelm’s efforts, and that’s made him more willing to reflect and be vulnerable and listen to Sara when she tells him he can preserve his self-respect by turning himself in. I actually don’t think Sara’s being entirely naive when she points out that January August would have turned himself over. The problem is that as January August becomes February And March August and starts to gain new things to protect (an in with the palace, a new relationship with Sara) he becomes afraid of losing everything again, and starts to go back to his old ways.

The other thing to notice is that Wilhelm mostly acts alone. Felice is his confidant, but she’s not working alongside Wilhelm, suggesting they swap out August’s hair products with toothpaste. (I kinda wish she would have, though.) In spite of the fact that the video probably hurt Simon even more than it did Wilhelm (reminder: Wilhelm has access to a press team and hired security that let him walk away at first) Wilhelm doesn’t center Simon in the process of doling out punishment. He does it with the best of intentions—he doesn’t want Simon getting hurt—but that moment where Simon’s like “You did ALL THIS TO HIM when we could have reported him together???” Yeah. That’s extremely valid. And it hints at one of the central ideas of s2—yes, dealing with August is important, but priority number one for Wilhelm is Wilhelm taking accountability for his own actions (denying that it was him in the video) and making things right with Simon in that way. With that relationship restored (see what I did there? restorative justice?) they can lean on one another as they slay their next monster. At the end of the day, the person who Wilhelm has the most control over is himself. That’s why we end season 2 on him making the speech and publicly acknowledging his relationship with Simon, not with the arrival of cop cars at Hillerska.

Speaking of the choices Wilhelm decided to make, I invite Young Royals fans to consider how Wilhelm’s role as crown prince give his actions symbolic weight. The royal family may not have real lawmaking power, but they’re still supposed to represent Swedish values and traditions to the general public. If Wilhelm starts pursuing a kind of justice, then he’s making a statement about what justice looks like in Sweden whether he wants to or not. If he had shot August in the field, that would have been more than a murder—symbolically that would have been an execution, in a country that banned capital punishment in the 1970s. (Then again, Stella and Fredrika would probably be okay with that.)

I want to make one more point here as I transition into the next section. I don’t think Lisa is necessarily saying that August shouldn’t be punished or face consequences for his crime. But I do think she’s being very clear that a retributive justice philosophy is going to hit marginalized people without the resources to defend themselves—people like Simon—a lot harder. And that opens up the question of where we’re supposed to find catharsis. Can we really exhale at the image of jail cell doors clanging shut, knowing that this same legal system can come for Simon using the same tools? If Simon somehow manages to evade prosecution, can he ever really find relief? How long will that last? What’s to say the system won’t screw him over in other ways, and what’s to say that other rich kids won’t get away with what August did, or worse?

It would be one thing if a crime only harmed the individuals involved, but restorative justice philosophy reminds us that this harm also impacts communities and involves communities. So, without further ado, it’s time to zoom in and examine how justice plays out (or fails to) in the Hillerska community.

Snitches, Stitches, and Scapegoats

In the microcosm of Hillerska, students have organized their own justice system in miniature. Conformity gets rewarded, while open nonconformity gets ostracized. While there is some understanding among the students that individuals will deviate from heterosexual, traditionalist, rich kid norms, this deviation is generally only tolerated when students do it in secret. In this climate, Hillerska students do a lot of self-policing. Stella and Nils cover up their sexualities in ways that may not work for them long term. Felice frets about her physical appearance and how people will perceive her if she pursues boys a certain way. You get the picture.

Because of the pressure to maintain a pristine image of the school (gotta make those admissions brochures look sparkly clean!) the student body as a whole sweeps crime and “deviant” behavior under the rug by closing ranks and agreeing not to snitch on one another. The elite status of Hillerska students allows them to get away with a lot their public school peers would not. While gossip flourishes within Hillerska’s walls, woe betide anyone who lets it escape into the outer world.

On occasion, there are crimes that can’t be covered up, and it may be that more than one student is involved. We’ve seen what happens in this case. Hillerska students do not collectively assume responsibility, but instead agree upon a narrative about what happened and choose a scapegoat to pin the problem on. We see this most clearly in episode 1.5, when Alexander is found with the drugs that the Society used for their party. August suggests they pin the drugs on Simon, while Wilhelm breaks with tradition and says Alexander should take the fall, because Alexander can easily bounce back from an accusation like this. Sure enough, Alexander is back at Hillerska next season, far less innocent than before and far more likely to engage in political intrigue. Wilhelm’s considerations about how Alexander can more easily absorb the blame for the drugs are well thought out and in some ways compassionate—and we’re happy to cheer him on for defending Simon and to some extent we should. However, Wilhelm’s willingness to participate in the scapegoating system backfires on him nonetheless, and also entrenches him in one of the most toxic parts of Hillerska culture. He’s cut off one hydra head and two new ones have sprung up to take it’s place.

One obvious danger of scapegoating is that innocent people are often blamed for things they have nothing to do with. We’ve seen this negatively impact Simon on the rowing team and elsewhere. Vincent makes Simon the scapegoat for the rowing team’s loss in episode 2.3 and uses it as an excuse to bully him. Simon doesn’t get to sing his solo because people will recognize him from the video and that will affect the school’s image and the royal family’s image. Simon is innocent in these areas, but he’s being made to take on blame for situations that are a lot bigger than him. Of all the individual students at Hillerska, Simon’s probably getting the shortest end of the stick, and that’s directly related to the fact that he lacks privilege.

Feeding the Myths

There’s other ways to make people symbols of crime or deviance, however, that can damage the fabric of social groups in other ways. Since scapegoat isn’t quite the right term here, because it tends to presume innocence rather than superlative guilt, I’m going to borrow some season 2 language and refer to this as the Worst Person in the World Phenomenon. Now, this is where I’m going to go out on a limb a bit and ask a question the show might not engage with in season 3. They might do it. They might not. It may be beyond the scope of the story Lisa feels she is able to tell. I’m going to ask this question all the same:

If August faces public consequences and punishment for leaking the video, what impact will that actually have on the culture of Hillerska students? Will it prevent such a thing from ever happening again? Will it at least encourage self-reflection?

You could argue that a high profile case like August’s could deter his classmates from engaging in harmful behaviors. He may affect some students that way. I mean, what he did is Very Bad on the Bad scale. You might even call him… the Worst Person In The World. Who would want to be like the Worst Person In The World?

The flip side of the Worst Person In The World phenomenon is that can actually discourage people from taking responsibility and holding themselves accountable. Because gosh, what I did isn’t that bad. It’s not serial killer bad, or Vladimir Putin bad. Do we realistically believe that other students at Hillerska aren’t doing problematic things? That the rowing team has zero boys who will show a topless photo of their girlfriend (without her consent) to some of his bros while they chuckle over it? That some of the girl groups aren’t spreading wildly inappropriate and homophobic rumors about classmates that seriously damage reputations? That kids aren’t paying one another for test answers or putting pressure on one another to unsafely experiment with alcohol and drugs, even when students express boundaries and don’t want to? That kids don’t collectively work to bully teachers at times? And generally the kids aren’t getting in trouble because they’re the children of rich, elite parents, who will grow to be the rich people who run the systems and structures in society for the next generation.

Now, none of the Hillerska kids (that we know of) are doing bad things on the scale that August did when he leaked the video. This is important to stress. But it’s also important to stress that this “getting away with bad behavior” culture of Hillerska and rich people in general is part of what made August who he is. Are the other participants in that culture willing to reflect on that and actively work to change the culture in question?

Again, this does not mean that August shouldn’t face consequences or punishment, or that he shouldn’t go to prison and undergo some sort of rehabilitation. There are excellent reasons for him to face consequences. He did revenge porn FFS. But I think it’s worth acknowledging that the punishment of a very obvious, high profile offender can feed the myth that the legal system is finally working toward justice when in fact the system is continuing to perpetuate injustice. We can see how this works when only a few select predator men were convicted to placate the #MeToo movement, we can see how this works with corrupt cops when only a few who kill are ever convicted but most get away with it, and we can see how this works with political parties taking advantage of the fact that other political parties are, well, worse.

And yes, don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good, no ethical consumption under capitalism, etc etc. I think we can keep that in mind while also keeping in mind that we still bear a responsibility to Do The Work in whatever way we are able. This is wandering off of Young Royals a bit. But I’ve given a lot of thought to the way we point at glaringly bad examples of human behavior and say “at least I’m not that guy” while not really doing the reflective work about what we can do to be better and how we can change our culture and systems. This kind of rhetoric is what allows people, especially people like the Hillerska kids who are at the top of society and the peak of privilege, to sleep at night. And maybe they shouldn’t be sleeping so well.

I think a lot about how the scene with Sara warning August that Simon is going to call the police (which is about Sara giving August one more chance to embrace accountability) is followed by a scene of Henry showing up to his group project meeting with no work done. Henry might not have done his work on a literal level, but as a symbol, he’s doing a lot of work. Not only is Henry foreshadowing that August isn’t going to do the right thing and turn himself in, he’s also lampshading the broader culture of Hillerska itself. For all the fancy plaques about responsibility, the students use their privilege and power to avoid doing what’s right and keep the status quo going. This is who they are. This is what they are going to have to overcome to be ethical humans who make their world better.

Working for Catharsis and Healing (A personal opinion section)

I don’t make predictions. The idea of making predictions for season 3 is in fact pretty stressful for me. But what this intellectual exercise has opened up for me is a question of where I would find catharsis and healing in the narrative. It’s not in the sound of police sirens. Maybe that’s different for you. That’s okay. I think we can learn a lot from the discussion in question.

Let’s start with the obvious jerkface himself and the question of him facing punishment. I think it’s worth separating August from other people for a time, to prevent him from doing additional harm to others. If we’re going to call that prison, then sure, let’s call it that. But let’s unpack what that separation looks like. In order for Wilhelm and Simon (and Sara and Felice for that matter) to heal, they’re going to need to be away from him. They should not be the ones responsible for his rehabilitation. As a restorative justice nerd deep down (at least, mostly, but fictional teenagers are well within the broad spectrum of people I’ll offer grace to) I still think he deserves a chance to heal from at least his drug addiction and his eating disorder and his trauma over his dad’s suicide. I also think he needs to understand accountability and the impact his actions have on others, and needs to learn to act in ways that repair the harm he’s done and prevent future harm. This is what he owes the world. There’s not time enough for us to see that whole journey, but I feel like the writers could show us the first few steps.

I’ve seen some people try to argue that August can’t change because he didn’t respond enough to Sara treating him like a person. I can see their point, and I can see the show using the Sara subplot as a shorthand for the idea that August can’t change. Writers often have to use that kind of shorthand to make a point about a character. (The relationship between redemption arcs and romantic love is one of my ongoing problems with redemption arcs in fiction, just for the record.) The way I see it, though, Sara is just one neurodivergent girl with a family history of abuse experiencing her first romantic love. She’s not a team of trained mental health professionals and social workers and other help-minded adults who’ve studied up on how to de-program systemic nonsense. After all, we can accept that although Simon loves Wilhelm very much, Simon’s efforts alone weren’t enough to fully dislodge Wilhelm from his place of privilege. Wilhelm needed Boris and therapy, and a mom who made him go to therapy (Kristina often does more harm than good, but her making Wilhelm go to therapy is the broken clock being right twice a day), and Felice as a friend and confidant, and Nils as a different sort of confidant, and a literature teacher like Fröken Ramirez who’s assigning him books with queer representation. Wilhelm’s journey is still ongoing. Romantic love may be transformative, but individuals in love don’t change people on their own. Communities change people. I am an aromantic relationship anarchist and I will die on this hill.

Speaking of the Eriksson siblings, I want Sara and Simon to have a chance to repair their relationship and build it anew. This would be another point of catharsis for me. I’ve seen a lot of people saying “Sara needs to do xyz tasks…” like we’re in a confession booth and a certain number of Hail Marys will save the day, but step one is that Sara and Simon just need to start communicating again, and communicating honestly. I think it’s easy to point to August as being the root of their relationship struggles, but there were a lot of unspoken tensions between the Eriksson siblings long before he entered the chat. They would have had some other falling out even without Hillerska. Simon’s been led to believe he should parent his sister, and Sara’s been convinced she’s a burden to her brother forever. They both are still reeling from trauma related to their dad, and it may need that they need different things to heal from that. Even without all that, they’re both maturing and defining their values and exploring romance for the first time, and Sara’s getting friendships of her own without always tagging along with Simon and Rosh and Ayub. Simon and Sara are getting to the age where they may not always be the most important people in each other’s lives, and they need to learn to grow up without growing apart. That doesn’t always happen automatically; it takes self-reflection and commitment and listening. I don’t think we’ll ever be back to the innocent days of Sara teasing Simon about his fairy tale prince. But I do think they can move their relationship forward in a new direction, and bounce back stronger.

I also think both Eriksson siblings need to come to terms with the fact that they violated their own values. Sara didn’t do anything illegal, but she did do something that violated her own morals, and you can tell that she feels pretty awful about that when she’s alone on the bus and driving away from school in 2.6. As for Simon, I don’t know if he’s fully gotten a chance to sit with the fact that he violated his own values when he brought his dad’s drugs to school. Again, I don’t want Simon to have to go through legal trouble, or deal with the prison system. The legal system is stacked against Simon in ways that are not fair. But Simon values accountability, and Wilhelm basically rescued him from being held accountable in season 1. I imagine that’s caused cognitive dissonance for Simon he’s still sorting through. I wonder what that’s going to be like for him.

On Wilhelm’s end, I’d like him to continue growing in the ways he’s grown in season 2. He’s learned not to be a symbol of extreme retributive justice. What would it look like for him to model restorative justice practices instead? (Note: this doesn’t mean that he personally has to forgive August. That’s entirely up to Wilhelm.) How can he encourage his community to act differently?

For Felice—well, one of my few issues with season 2 was how they handled Felice, and how they made her ancillary to others’ arcs instead of having her own, but that’s a post for another time. All the same, I think Felice is learning to trust her instincts, push past her biases, and take a unique point of view on things. She’s able to look at the video and see the broken pixels rather than the scandalous gossip scene everyone’s talking about. She can sense Sara’s hiding a secret from her and knows Sara needs to talk. Even if the conversation they end up having is deeply upsetting for her, it brings truths to light that need to be shared. Felice doesn’t have every tool in the toolbox yet, but what she observes and how she interacts with people can be helpful in delivering justice.

I don’t have meta space to consider every parent and adult on the show and things they can do differently. But I expect in season 3 we’ll start to see some adults (I don’t think it’s likely that we’ll see all of them) consider the roles they play in perpetuating systems and cycles. At least, I hope so. It shouldn’t be all on the young people to achieve change in society.

As for the Hillerska culture, it needs to change too. It’s worth asking if a place like Hillerska should even exist. Every secondary Hillerska student is going to act a little bit differently in response to the events of the plot, and I don’t know if I’d buy it if the show tried to tell us the Hillerska culture changed overnight in a magical ripple of self-consciousness. We might see individual students taking baby steps toward responsibility and liberation here or there. We might just see status quo as usual. I think of all the threads in this story, this is the one I would be okay with seeing Lisa Ambjörn leave things unresolved or in a place of tension, as long as that tension feels intentionally placed. Because changing the world is hard, and not everything changes all at once.

Young Royals doesn’t have to tie up every loose end by the last episode of season 3, but I do think it’s already raised a lot of questions about the relationship between justice and storytelling and where we find catharsis in fiction and our own lives. These questions are worth us considering, even if the answers point toward all the work that still needs to be done for the future.

#young royals #young royals meta #my meta #simon eriksson #wilhelm young royals #august young royals #sara eriksson #felice ehrencrona #long post #holy crap this is long thank you if you read it

96 notes · View notes

victoria1676 · 2 years

Text

Sagau Brainrot: Reader having the same abilities as Nakajima Atsushi from Bungou Stray Dogs

(Reader is Female here unfortunately so i apologize for those who want it non-binary or gender neutral TwT)

---------------------------------------------------------

Heyo its been a while

Its 2am in the night time but i was lucky to finish this yet i am very tired especially i just finished midterms and still have to make 7 assignments due next week ugh DX

Anyways please enjoy this brainrot that I tried my best to expand it 😭 I'll work on my other brainrots soon and my story as well when i have the time but currently im very packed this month ugh TwT

---------------------------------------------------------

So like I haven't watched Bungou stray dogs in long time and im avoiding Season 4 due to the fact i have already read the manga and knows that Season 4 is the darkest arc including i guess there is a chance season 5 will also be dark if i remember the manga correctly 🤔

Have I read the Beast AU or read it?

N OT U N D E R M Y W A T C H

My personal reason is that i was able to get a summary out of it and since that summary made me cry and learn what happened to Beast Dazai I cried the fact i loved him so much and that au was painful 😭😭

But anyways this is my personal opinion however if you want to read Beast AU Bungou Stray dogs I recommend that you guys prepare tissues cause the angst of that au is very sad but if you able to handle then props to you UwU but i can say is that the au is very interesting and I don't mind you guys reading it UwU However you must read the Original Bungou Stray Dogs since Beast Au is the parallel universe of it. The manga is currently still on going but the Anime is out by 3 seasons and season 4 currently coming out soon.

So yeah lets go to my Brainrot UwU

---------------------------------------------------------

Warnings: Mentions of Abuse

----------------------------------------------------------

So this won't have the creator au thing this time unfortunately but it is more like I want to go back to the original concept of what sagau a.k.a self-aware as I am referring to the self-aware au were no god reader but just a regular reader who plays the game and is not aware the charas are self-aware and they are all fond with her whether it is platonic, romantic, possessive or obsessed with her.

As I mentioned reader has the abilities of Atsushi from Bungou stray dogs and has the same past as him however it's a bit different for the reader as her past is something I came up a bit sad about but not something excruciating to add since we all know how Atsushi's past is like especially you can see the worst of it in the manga 😭

Beast Beneath the Moonlight will not be an ability since the reader is not from the BSD world but this ability is something like a curse that the reader has to go through in tough times and has resented having it because if she wasn't born with it then she would have never been given up by her parents to the orphanage or thrown to such pain of being thrown back to the orphanages after all her previous foster parents deemed her a "Freak" or "Monster" and so on but they very physically hurt her since the reader was a very like a normal kid a first glance only these parents got the taste of fear seeing her curse.

Luckily around the age of 12, she finally got herself adopted by a person who is a writer and was one of the people who was like her, having a strange curse or rather an ability. It took time for the reader to get used to her new father and slowly trust him as he did not even react badly to seeing her transformation except he decided to help with her powers. Now grown up and able to live a normal life and keep a secret of her powers, the reader found herself loving a certain fantasy game called Genshin Impact that was recommended by her friends.

The game was very amazing and Reader loved it so much and also ignored the huge negative side of the game and tried to enjoy the lore and exploration.

Only she found herself Isekai out of nowhere.

There are endless possibilities about how Reader will appear in Genshin and I had to revise this many times LMAO

So like I decided she has been in the wilderness for like a week and there have been rumors spreading to all Teyvat of a strange dangerous Beast that usually prowls or appears at night time either running around or scaring away Treasure hoarders and sometimes the Fatui. And I guess it is up to you guys who would find her first OwO!

I feel like everyone would be fascinated with Reader’s transformation and I am sure there have been times reader suddenly gets cats attracted to them causing poor Venti to sneeze so much due to how many cats are near reader XD

Reader be getting along with Diona or any cat-like hybrid. As someone commented, the reader is like them, in which the reader fires back at them saying "I'M A TIGER NOT A CAT!"

But honestly people would find the reader 's abilities very fascinating.

And then they realize the reader could heal her wounds after some panic, getting stabbed or injured and trying to take her to a healer but instead her wounds healed rapidly.

I also imagine readers have similarities with Atsushi but personality wise it's up to you guys how you imagine a reader's personality is like with having the same Abilities like Atsushi.

But yeah what do you guys think? XD

This will have part 2 soon but a different version.

Part 2 will mainly be a cult au where the reader does not control the charas in the modern world but the reader is born in Genshin and is still a god but I guess it's still a sagau but a bit different since cult au and sagau are similar yet different I guess 🤔

The reason why I sound a bit excited in Part 2 of this brain rot? Because reader will be in the Fatui

But she will be someone who is usually in the shadows doing most dirty work and is always near Tsaritsa like a Shadow UwU

I won't spoil much but you can ask me more of this brain rot if you like XD

So goodnight! ^^

#sagau #genshin impact self aware #genshin self aware #self aware genshin #genshin sagau #genshin impact #genshin self aware au #self aware au #sagau brainrot #bungou stray dogs crossover #bsd crossover #genshin crossover

162 notes · View notes

turnupswritessometimes · 29 days

Text

Geppetto's Boy - Lies of P- Ch 3

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54517777/chapters/138571591

Summary: A collection of oneshots set throughout the game, mostly exploring P and Gepetto’s relationship. (But exploring P’s relationships with most of Hotel Krat too.)

First | Previous | Next

Chapter Three

“How are you feeling about killing humans now?”

P's father asked him, as he cleaned the intricacies of his legion arm. He had just returned from the cathedral; from fighting that priest. He'd spoken with Sophia; had put his recovered Ergo to good use; and then had followed the routine of seeing his fahter, sitting in that chair, and submitting himself to be cleaned up. P forced himself to watch. It felt only fair to watch. Because it wasn’t oil, or simply blood, that he was covered in now. Now there were little bits of gristle, too. The kind that Lady Antonia would spit discreetly into a napkin, P was sure. These were little bits of meat that had come from his fights. Some of it got stuck in his machinery. There was plenty stuck in his shoes, but he doubted his father would care so much about that.

He needed to watch his legion arm be cleaned, to honour the memory of the things he’d killed. Not for what they were when he killed them, but for what they used to be. Those beings they had encountered on the way to the church had been humans, once. The same humans who lived at the hotel.

His father still called them humans.

“They were monsters,” he replied.

Geppetto did not look up from his work.“Some would call you a monster, you know.”

P knew that. He knew, because he’d been attacked just as determinedly as he’d attacked those monsters. That was what seemed to join everything: they attacked the unfamiliar. The ones they thought were scary. He hadn't been scared - he didn't think - he didn't he could feel scared. He had fought back, because he knew how. Because fighting was what he understood, even if he didn't understand what was happening. Gemini didn't either, and that was more concerning.

Something was very wrong in Krat. Even more than he'd been first thought.

“What happened?” It was what Gemini had asked P, over and over, and hedidn’t have any answers – all he knew was their orders – so, he hoped this man could provide them. His father. His father knew everything.

“I am endeavouring to discover that myself.” Another piece of gristle was dislodged. It fell into the silver bowl on the floor with a quiet thud. “We will get to the bottom of this mystery.”

They still hadn't solved the mystery of the frenzy, or the petrification disease, and here was another one. P thought that was one of the things it was better not to say. At least, not to Geppetto.

“They were monsters,” he repeated. “They acted like animals. Rabid.”

“Whatever disease afflicted them might be similar to rabies.”

It wasn't what he meant. He meant that they had lost their humanity, and therefore, it wasn't like when he'd killed that crazy donkey, or the scared mouse. P had realised it whilst fighting, and it had only been more obvious everytime his sword had clashed against those monsters. Those - carcasses. He'd known it when he faced what the archbishop had become and seen the empty shell of the man he'd been. But he needed to say it out loud: “The kindest thing to do was kill them.”

That did make his father look him, then. His eyes wrinkled at the corners, and he half-smiled. Was it pride or amusement?

“Is that so?” he asked. “Do you always do the kindest thing, when faced with death?”

So, he was amused. P didn’t answer that; there seemed little point in explaining any more. He’d thought kind was good. When Sophia called him kind, it had felt good. He'd liked that feeling - liked being good - even if he didn't understand how he could feel at all. It didn't seem as though his father was aware that he could.

“Will there be more of them, in the city?” he asked, instead.

“I’m sure there will be.” His father wiped a cloth over his mechanical forearm a final time. It was clean; and shone silver in the gas lamps. “But not to worry. You are strong, and you're growing stronger. You will be able to save Krat.”

First, he had needed to save his father, then it had been to save Venigni – when had it become saving all of Krat? Or had it always been? Had that been what Sophia had awoken him for? He hadn’t had a choice in her waking him - not even a choice in sleeping - and he didn’t have a choice what to do now he had.

Because, he had to save Krat. That was the right thing to do. The good thing to do. He couldn’t say that he wouldn't do it. Especially if it was what his father asked him to do; what his father had built him to do. So, he would. He owed it to him.

But would he be able to?

He had taken too long to reply. His father placed his legion arm back onto the armrest. Examined him, and caught hold of his chin. Carefully, as though he would shatter him.

“You need to know that I worry about you. Every time you leave this hotel, I worry about what will happen.” He looked over P with a searching expression, but he didn't know what he wanted to see; didn't know what he wanted him to say. He stared back. “But I know you can handle yoursel.f I know you’ll always come home to me. Won’t you?”

P nodded. But where else, he thought, would he go? There was nowhere else he could call home.

“That’s good.” Geppetto smoothed his hair. It fell, so that it was half-covering his eye again. "Good boy."

It felt right, to hear his father say that; to praise him. It made him feel like he really was doing something right, even if his thoughts were still muddled. Even if he couldn't forget the spider-like monster of the priest; the mysterious nun; the record that he'd found in the office.

They were finished. He was cleaned, and his father had work to do. Had work to do, and wanted to get some rest. P was free to prepare himself for the next task. He found himself wandering the halls. There were so many rooms, and so many of them were empty. What would this place have been like, before the frenzy? Would it – could it – truly all be full of people, once upon a time? How many people would that be? How many people had lived in Krat, before?

How many of them were dead now?

"It's kind of spooky at night, huh, pal?" Gemini asked, at his side.

P found himself smiling. It was funny, he thought, that a cricket, safe in his lantern, would be scared of ghosts. The emptiness of the hotel wasn't spooky; it was melancholy.

“Are you laughing at me?” Gemini asked.

P shook his head, but it only made his smile widen. The more he tried, the harder it seemed to smother. But he liked it. Liked the feeling of holding back a laugh, even as Gemini kept chirping. It dulled the feelings of horror that he’d felt when he saw the monsters.

When he saw Lady Antonia’s wheelchair from the doorway of the room, the smile disappeared.

Sophia said that the petrification disease would not turn people into those monsters. But, how could she be entirely sure? What if the same thing happened to Lady Antonia? What if she became a carcass of herself, and he had to hurt her?

He didn’t want to. It was worse knowing that he could, if it came to it. His fists clenched, as though he would be able to fight against the possibility alone.

“It’s impolite to lurk in doorways, young man.” Came Lady Antonia’s sharp, plummy voice.

Gemini dulled at his side. P stepped forward, ducking his head to show that he was apologetic.

Her fingers tapped on the handle of her wheelchair. She didn’t look at him – he knew she didn’t see very well, now. Perhaps it just wasn’t worth the effort. “So, I hear you have been fighting monsters.”

“Something bad is happening outside of the city,” he said.

It surprised him that she laughed, at that. Such a laugh that she tipped her head back. “Something bad is happening all over the place, dear, I assure you.”

P didn’t know whether to nod to that, or not. He waited for her to speak again. She always found something to say, especially when he was silent.

“Did Geppetto teach you how to play the piano?”

He glanced to the piano in the room. A great, hulking thing that seemed like its own animal. The keys looked like teeth to P, and he wasn’t sure how to even approach it.

“I do not think so.”

Lady Antonia sniffed, as though that personally offended her. He stared at the wheels of her chair, instead, wondering if he was being scolded too.

“We’ll have to remedy that. Take a seat on the stool.” She was already turning her chair, preparing to wheel it over to the beast.

P obeyed. It felt different to when his father told him to take a seat, even though she was still ordering him. It still felt like a question; like he had a choice. He stared down at the white and black keys. He pressed one. It made a discordant sound, and he pulled his hand away.

Lady Antonia taught him. Taught him keys and chords in her snappy tone of voice, and yet - she repeated herself patiently. She let him go at his own pace. By the end of an hour, he could string together a simple melody. It was easy, when he understood how. He supposed it was easier, because he was a puppet; he could remember and retain information more easily; his fingers were adept at doing what he needed them to.

“Good,” came Lady Antonia’s verdict. “It will do you good to have a hobby that isn’t killing things.”

Was that not what he was created for? He looked at his hands, cleaned of gore. They destroyed things. They destroyed everything in their path. Now, he was using them to create something. To create soft, sweet sounds.

Creating, he thought, seemed a much better thing than destroying.

P recognised the figures, as he was making his way back through the Malum District. The two figures lurked, just beyond the doorway of the Red Lobster Inn. The cat, and the fox. He hadn't seen them since going ahead and leaving them to rest. They'd tricked him, again, he supposed. But they had fought alongside him, for some of the way. They had helped. And perhaps the Cat really had been struggling. He'd seemed to have been really struggling. P wasn't sure how he could tell if he was genuine or not.

He stepped out of the inn, and let the door swing shut behind him.

"Wow," said the Cat. He leaned against the wall, twisting his knife between his fingers. "You're like a bad penny, huh?"

"That's hardly complimentary," the Fox told her companion; she stood on the steps, her arms folded. The starlight glinted off her mask, as she looked at him. He wondered what expression she wore; what expressions both of them wore. "He means that nothing stop you, huh?"

P paused. He didn't like the masks. The masks made it hard to tell what expression someone was making; if their words and tone matched what they meant. Whenever the Cat or Fox spoke to him, he had the feeling they were not being genuine; that they were tricking him again. He couldn't say for certain, he only had his suspisions. But they didn't want to kill him, and they weren't attacking him now. That was a rare thing. So, he would take them at their word.

"It's like you said." He took another step forward. It seemed very loud, in the sudden silence of the Malum District. "I am tougher than I look."

It made the Fox laugh; a merry, careless sound that seemed at odds with the gloomy city around them.

"You sure are, bello."

The nickname made him feel flustered; made him think of Venigni. He supposed he felt short-circuited because he was still recovering from the fight. From seeing that painting; the one of the boy who looked like him. Just like him, but a few years younger. It wasn't possible, surely, and he didn't understand it. He carried it, under his arm.

He focused on the Cat, instead. "Are you feeling better?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah." The Cat flicked his knife in the air. It glinted silver, like a coin, before he caught it again. "A lot better, now we had a chance to rest."

"Sorry that we couldn't go all the way with you," the Fox added. P didn't think she sounded very sorry. She sounded like she was smiling, but perhaps that was a trick of the mask. "My brother's illness has been getting worse and worse, you see."

P nodded. He did understand. He'd seen Lady Antonia growing gradually more sick, and it made his chest hurt. She was clearly suffering. If the cat was ill too, it must be hard to continue his work. It would explain why he hadn't been able to go far.

The Cat started coughing, putting a hand to his mask's mouth. The Fox turned to him, her snout lifting upwards. She didn't seem overly concerned. There was something more here, but he didn't understand everything. He supposed he didn't need to. It would be unlikely they'd meet again.

P nodded, again, and started forward again. The rain pattered against his skin and hair, streaking the blood covering him. He wanted to go home. He wanted to see Sophia, and her smile. He wanted to feel safe, again.

He also wanted to know what his father would say about the portrait. That was a selfish reason to go home. He didn't like having it.

"Heard you killed the eldest of the black rabbits," the Cat said. He was behind him, now, watching P head down the steps to the street.

He looked over his shoulder. "I didn't plan to."

The Cat gave a low whistle. "Well then, you've made yourself a whole load of trouble."

"That's true." The fox looked down too. "You'd better watch your back. They won't take that lightly."

P knew that, but that would be a fight for another day. He would worry about the rest of the black rabbits another time. He nodded, to show he understood, then continued. That was their way of saying farewell, he supposed.

He carried the portrait back to the hotel, and when Sophia asked what he had, he only shrugged. He didn't know why, but he didn't want Venigni or Eugenie to see it, either. It made him feel awkward. He didn't want anyone to know about it, until Geppetto had seen it first.

Sophia didn't press the matter. She sat on the edge of the stargazer next to him, and helped channel the Ergo he'd found back into him. He felt himself grow stronger, and yet, felt his springs whirring with that same change he'd felt before.

"It looks like it was a difficult battle," she said.

P nodded. He tried flexing the fingers of his legion arm, but they didn't all move. "I was a fool."

"I'm sure you weren't, clever one."

But he wasn't clever. He stared down at the fingers that wouldn't move when he wanted them to. "My father told me to stop the Black Rabbit Brotherhood. I should have understood what he meant."

Sophia stayed quiet for a moment. Then she put her hand over his. He looked up, into her soft, blue eyes. "What he intended is not necessarily what you had to do. Their choice to fight you was just as much theirs as yours."

He thought that might be a kind lie. When it came to it, he had killed the eldest of the Black Rabbit Brotherhood. He didn't see how it could have gone differently. But then, he thought he'd always have gone there. He had been asked to. It was the right thing to do - wasn't it?

Still, he didn't think he could explain it all accurately. He nodded, and tried to smile, though that didn't seem to be working, either. Sophia patted his hand, and let him go.

He took the portrait to his father, who was delighted by it. He hung it immediately, and said he was so glad it had been P who'd been the one to find it. P stared at the painted boy, and wondered why he looked so unhappy. He didn't ask who it was, in the portrait. He had a terrible feeling he wouldn't like the answer.

He had a terrible feeling he might know the answer already.

"Do you need repairs?" His father asked. He turned to him, as though he'd forgotten P was stood there. There was a different glint in his eye than usual, but the monocle obscured it. Then he saw the blood splattered up P's legion arm. "And we should clean your gears."

So P nodded. He sat, and let his father wipe his skin with a cloth, taking care around his eyes. Watched his father open the plates of his legion arm, and clean between the grooves once more. It wasn't oil, or the stained blue blood of the monsters. This blood was crimson. This blood was human. Again. It was becoming normal.

"You asked me to kill a person," P asked. He hadn't planned to, but it was harder and harder to stop himself doing that. It was better, he thought, to think about that, than the portrait.

His father looked at him, for a moment, before he concentrated on his work again. "They are a group of criminals. You killed a very bad person. Do you understand that, son?"

"He was a bad person," P repeated. "So it was alright to kill him?"

"It's—" Geppetto took a breath. "Yes. It was."

P clenched the fingers of his legion arm. His father put a hand on his wrist, to steady him.

"If I killed him, am I bad too?"

"No, son." Geppetto almost chuckled. "No. What you're doing is good."

Good, according to his father, his creator, who was telling him what to do. P did do it, would keep doing it, because he trusted him. Because he thought Geppetto was a good man. He had to be a good man, if he wanted to save the city of Krat. Good men did good things, like that.

P nodded. He kept his head down, letting his hair hang in front of his face. The Black Rabbit Brotherhood had bullied the neighbourhood. They had hurt people and they had only cared about their own income.

Still, was there really no other way than to kill them?

"You don't need to think any more on it," Geppetto said, soothingly, as though P was a child. "You trust me, don't you?"

P looked through his hair to Geppetto's grey eyes. They were soft, but his lips were pressed together in a firm line. He knew the right answer. But he could only half-nod.

Geppetto caught his chin, brushing his hair back into place. His touch lingered. "That's my boy."

He wanted to be Geppetto's boy. He wanted to say the right thing. Wanted to still be called son. But he wasn't entirely certain of what that really meant, anymore. This wasn't destroying puppets. It wasn't even fighting monsters. It was fighting humans. His father may say it was alright, and P thought it would be easy to believe him.

Easy, but perhaps not right.

He played the piano again. Stiltingly, and awkwardly, without Lady Antonia there. Everyone else was asleep; it was the night. But he managed. It kept his hands occupied; let his hands do something other than kill; and his mind wander back and forth over whether his father was good, or not.

The cat came by. She stared at him, with her jade green eyes. He stared back, his fingers still fumbling over the keys to play Clair de Lune. The cat's tail flicked, as if she was annoyed, but she didn't hiss at him this time.

He hit the wrong key. It was noticeable. The melody was sruined, and he let his hands slow to a stop. It seemed like a miracle to be able to play it right; creating took miracles.

He sat, staring at the piano, when he felt the brush against his leg. It was the cat. She gave him the barest of touches, before weaving through the legs of the stool, and heading off again. They were hardly friends, but he supposed that was better than hissing.Perhaps it would take just as much of a miracle to stroke the cat, one day.

"You're good," a soft voice said. It was Eugenie. She wore a nightgown, and was half hidden by the doorframe. When she saw him turn, she smiled, sligthly.

"That's a lie," he replied, and felt proud of himself for being able to tell. Really, it was obvious that he was not good at all.

"But it was a kind lie," she replied. She came forward properly, though she still leant against the frame. "Spring likes it too."

P nodded. The cat spotted Eugenie, and ran to her with a chirrup. She laughed, and knelt down to stroke the cat; it arched into her fingers, seeming to smile. P wanted that. He wanted to know what it felt like for an animal to want to touch him.

He watched them. The hotel was quiet. Polendina was cleaning a faraway room, and Pulcinella tidying Venigni's workspace. There was only the great ticking of the grandfather clock to break the silence. He couldn't see Sophia. In fact, he wasn't even sure where Sophia's room was. She was simply there, when he needed her.

"Do you think it's alright to kill a bad person?" P asked.

Eugenie looked up at him. Her hair slid from her shoulder. "Usually, I would say that killing is killing. But a lot of things have changed since then. Now the city is like this, I don't know how else we'd stop someone from doing something bad. Not if they didn't want to change."

It was certainly a longer answer than the one his father had given him. P thought about it, pressing the pedal of the piano over and over. He thought about the Black Rabbit Brotherhood. He had seen their ledger. He knew they enjoyed weilding their power over the district; had heard them trying to turn desperate people against each other for the hope of their safety. Had seen them fighting ruthlessly. They were not good.

And yet, he had also seen their written sibling squabbles. They were, under the masks, still human.

Had they wanted to change? Maybe not.

But then, he thought, he'd never know for certain.

Not now.

#lies of p #lies of p geppetto #lies of p pinocchio #turnupswrites #fanfiction #fanfic #multichapter

12 notes · View notes