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babiekeiji · 4 years

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Then he made one last effort to search in his heart for the place where his affection had rotted away, and he could not find it. — Gabriel Garcia Marquez, One Hundred Years of Solitude

Friends Don’t Do (What We Do)

the akaashi keiji installment to A Heart is A Heavy Burden. masterlist

warnings angst! contains themes of sex, romantic ambiguity—but this is NOT a friends with benefits fic, cursing

a/n this fic does deal with the subject of infidelity, reader’s discrection is advised!!

taglist @miyulovestowrite @hqprotectionsquad @savemesteeb @the-black-birb @hqkeiji @bb-noya (send an ask to be added to the taglist!)

— ♥️ —

The sea is a tapestry.

It is Santorini, Greece, after all—almost everything is a form of art on the island. However, from where you stand, the sea is a messy, glowing tapestry of the most brilliant shade of azure, slowly fading into navy and into the endless horizon. It is time for the sun to slip deep into slumber; the sea then amends with the sinking of the sun, changing what was once bright blue hues to a darker, more serene shade, and then finally reflecting the melancholic yet soothing night sky.

You are familiar with Santorini. You come home to the island whenever you can, but every summer on it is your favorite; the kind of summer where the sand is just a little warmer and the sun shines a little brighter. You spend every day of summer in your little home-away-from-home. You’ve decorated it how you want, and you come and go as you please; needless to say, life in Santorini is nothing short of paradise.

Your next door neighbor, Keiji, has lived on the island for two years with his dog. Every time you visit, it’s Keiji who’s the first to greet you—Hey! He waves. Glad to see you back, you’re as beautiful as the last time I saw you!

Thank you! Do you want to have dinner with me later? Is your usual reply.

Keiji’s answer is always yes.

Despite the friendliness you share with him, you don’t exactly consider him your friend.

You met him by the pier two years ago—Keiji has his own yacht, you see, and is therefore considered a rich, rich man—on a sunny Friday noon. You make it a habit to talk to the locals; and old lady Cora was ogling the new guy sitting by the edge of his boat, having a drink all by himself.

“Who is that?” You ask once she points, and she but smiles warmly as she says, “He’s our new boy.”

“Our new boy?”

“He’s new to the neighborhood,” old Cora swoons, “I have never seen such tanned skin before. He’s beautiful.”

You squint your eyes in an attempt to look at him. He’s wearing a thin white button down and lightly washed blue shorts; a pair of eyeglasses rest atop his nose. Fairly built, but like Cora had mentioned, beautifully tanned. “Yep, he sure is.” You muse, shrugging. Cora slaps your forearm lightly and shakes her head.

“You should try talking to him,” she says, “I think you’ll like him. Very nice kid, he is. He gave me the sweetest smelling peach.”

With one final push from Cora you go and walk down his pier.

“Hey!” You shout, and he turns his head to look at you. He places his glasses atop his head and points to himself, raising an eye. You nod. “Yes, you!”

He puts down his drink and walks over to the edge of his yacht, to where you’re standing. His yacht floats on the cerulean sea but is held back from moving away by a tie knotted to a metal knob on the pier. Despite the waves, he doesn’t seem to have much trouble walking. “Hi,” he introduces himself, holding out his hand with a small smile. “I’m Keiji, nice to meet you.”

His accent his thick; though his pronunciation doesn’t give the impression that he’s inadept at speaking English. You take his hand and say your own name as an introduction, “Nice to meet you too. Cora told me to walk on over here to introduce myself to you. You’re new here?”

“Yes,” he places his hands on his hips. “I just moved, actually. Up there, that is my house.”

He points, and the house that’s right next to yours is where his finger points. “Beside that house? The one with a lot of plants?”

“Yes.”

“That’s where I live!” You tell him, “What a coincidence.”

“Really?” He asks, more curious than incredulous. “That’s great. It’ll be nice to have a lively neighbor I can talk to,” he jabs his thumb over his shoulder, nudging his head towards the same direction. “Do you want some champagne? We could talk inside the yacht where it isn’t too hot.”

Thinking about how you have nothing else to do, you agree. “That would be great,” you say, “I haven’t met a lot of people my age around here. I’m glad we’re neighbors.”

When you turn back to gauge Cora’s reaction, she does nothing but smile and wave you off as you step into his yacht holding his hand.

The days turn into weeks and into months, and pretty soon you consider yourself close enough to Akaashi Keiji to call him your friend.

That is, if friends held hands as they walked down sidewalks. If friends hugged the way you two did. If friends kissed the way you two did and had sex the way you two did; if yes, then he is your friend.

To an extent, yes you were friends; he went with you to the market some mornings and hung out with you some afternoons. Cooked dinner for the two of you once or twice, maybe more; stayed and invited himself over once the two of you got comfortable. It was like this for a long while, this sort of ambiguity between the two of you starting to settle like sand to water—sinking, leaving little to no room for imagination as you already know what happens next.

Even as friends, you memorize the planes of his body; his godly toned arms and the feel of his skin, hot to the touch, burning like fire—all these memories run hazy in your mind, but with time becomes ingrained into your own muscle memory that you just know your own body’s caving in on you. It hunts, daresay looks for Keiji at night, in more ways than one; your eyes, to stare right into his, your hands, to feel, touch him all over, your arms to wrap him in a tight embrace.

It has you thinking: what exactly were you two?

There was never an explicit agreement to what the two of you were, nor was there a conversation regarding so. You don’t know how to bring it up, or when—Keiji doesn’t seem to bothered with how your current arrangement was going, but you were. With every waking day you wonder if you’re nothing but Akaashi Keiji’s newest summer fling, or if you’re actually something he wants to hold on to for a long time.

You don’t know which one you want to be.

But when Keiji holds you close and tells you stories of Japan, of his life in Japan, of all his travels from all around the world, you find yourself falling a little deeper into the chasm that is love. He speaks of Japan as if he watched a legend in the making; of snowy mountains and flower petalled springs, of quaint neighborhoods and of cities dappled with all all sorts of neon lights. “You’d love it in Japan,” he murmurs, bringing you closer to him. “I know you would because I loved it there.”

Keiji doesn’t hesitate to act like he wants to be special to you too—too often the two of you would stroll down to the beach to dance in the low light of the sunset, all smiles and twirls and hugs. One time he took you down to the pier, the two of you shared a peach he picked from some old woman’s tree (she was kind enough to let him have it, though he insists it was because she was bewitched by his good looks). “Greece is a dream,” he says, feeding you a part of the peach and wiping away the juice that dribbles from your lips, “But I’ve never known Greece the way I know it with you.”

His words make you blush. Like a fire slowly being ignited deep inside of you, travelling through your veins and through every crook and crevice of your heart, Akaashi Keiji’s every deed burrows itselves deep into your mind and in your emotions.

To sum it all up, everything Akaashi does just makes your heart grow fonder.

Even when you know it’s wrong.

The morning arrives, and today it smells oriental. You figure Keiji is making breakfast as you wake, because that’s usually how it’d go; he’d be cooking, and your little house would either smell mediterrenean or oriental. Either way, Akaashi never fails to brighten your mornings.

Except for this time.

You’ve been thinking about it the whole night; of what would be of your relationship when you finally have to go back to where you came from; of what the days and the nights you spend with Akaashi actually meant something, or if it meant anything at all—needless to say, not an ounce of sleep was spent on you last night.

You sit at the table as you watch Akaashi cook. “Good morning?” He greets, sparing you a glance over his shoulder. “Are you not feeling okay?”

“I’m fine,” you lie through your teeth. “My mind’s just...full.”

“Full? Of what?”

“Of you.”

“Huh. That’s nice.”

“Not in the way you want it to be filled, though.”

He turns off the stove and puts down his spatula, turning to you. “What do you mean by that?”

“Akaashi...” you start, “I..I don’t know where to begin with you.”

“Give me real answers,” he replies, “If we need to talk about something, then we should.”

“...What am I to you, Akaashi?”

He blinks. If he’s feeling anything similar to what you’re feeling now, he must be good at concealing it and maintaining his composure. If he isn’t, you have a strong urge to kick him out of Greece and leave him as fish feed.

He opens his mouth to answer, but closes it immediately in careful thought. He crosses his arms over his chest. “Why the sudden question?”

“Are you actually going to ask me that, Akaashi?”

“Yes?” He knits his eyebrows together in confusion, “We were fine as we were. Why complicate things like this?”

“Tell me, Keiji.”

“We’re fine—we are what we are,” he mutters. “We don’t need a label to what we mean to each other.”

“See, that’s where you’re wrong,” you reply. “Maybe it doesn’t matter to you, but it means something to me, Keiji. I don’t want to be treated like I’m something you use to pass the time!”

“I don’t think of you like that.”

“But that’s what I feel you do, Akaashi!” You say, “Every minute of each passing day here in Greece I spend with you, and I don’t even know what we are! When I look at you I feel like I’m looking at the stars, Akaashi! When I’m with you I feel like I’m the prettiest girl in the world—but from who am I getting this attention? My boyfriend? My best friend? My fuck buddy? I feel like none of these feelings are sincere because even if you give it, I don’t know if you mean it because I don’t know what I am to you!”

“I’m telling you that doesn’t matter,” He says adamantly, “My feelings for you are real. Realer than they’ve ever been for anyone else.”

“Then tell me straight, Keiji,” you say. “What am I to you?”

“Jesus—are you ever going to let this go?”

“Fuck no! I’m not going to let this go when how I feel is being compromised because of this, Akaashi!!”

“Why can’t you trust me?! I’m saying my feelings for you are real—”

“This is not about trust!”

“—And that you didn’t need to put yourself in this situation if you could just trust me!”

“How hard is it to give me an answer, Keiji? Do you like me? Do you love me? Because I don’t want to be spending each moment thinking that I’m actually falling for you when you aren’t doing the same!”

“Of course I like you. Why would you doubt that?”

“Do you love me, Keiji?”

He’s silent.

You’re hoping. You’re left hoping this silence means anything but hesitation. The silence is almost defeaning, and the way Akaashi doesn’t dare to meet your eyes just hurts to your very core. You want to beg him to speak—scream, shout, to say anything, to show that he cares—but you know there’s no forcing this man to do anything he doesn’t want to do.

“...You’re going to be upset no matter what I say,” he shakes his head in resignation. “I—”

“I’m going to be upset if you don’t tell me the truth, Keiji.”

“Exactly,” he emphasizes. “I do love you, but the truth is going to hurt the both of us no matter how softly I let you down.”

“What the fuck do you mean?”

Akaashi walks over to the table to sit across from you; and although his seat is only three feet away from yours, he’s the most distant he’s ever been to you now than ever before.

“I don’t want to lie to you.”

“Then tell me the truth.”

“But I don’t want to hurt you either,” he looks up to you and grabs your hands over the tabletop, eyes pleading and brimming with tears. His voice cracks as he says, “My feelings for you are as true as they can be, my love, but I’m afraid you might never understand where I stand in life.”

You pull your hands from under his and cross them over your chest. “Tell me the truth.”

He leans his elbows on the table, palms together in front of his face as if he was praying, and he sighs. “I want to think of you as my girlfriend, yn.”

“So why can’t you—?”

“—Because I have a husband.”

What?

Instantaneously, a tear slips from your eye. You don’t even know how you got to react that fast; all you know is that you’re crying softly, looking towards Keiji, almost begging with your eyes for him to tell you that this is just a joke. You feel as though all the wind has been knocked from your lungs—your tears won’t stop their course down your cheeks, and no matter how much you force yourself to face him, you can’t bring yourself to.

You feel dirty. You feel absolutely filthy—you were a homewrecker, and you didn’t even know!

“What the fuck,” you gasp, breaking down on the dining room table; you’re laughing. Laughing like this is the funniest punch line on earth, all while the tears don’t stop. “What the fuck, Keiji—you’re fucking joking, right?” You laugh. “If this is a joke, I’m waiting for you to say that it is.”

“It’s not,” he looks up to you, eyes red and body trembling as he cries. “I’ve used you, yn. I used you to escape a stupid marriage I never even wanted—and when I finally found someone I loved—wanted to be with sincerely—I just couldn’t bring myself to ruin what we had. But I love you—”

“No you don’t,” you chuckle in anger, “Don’t fucking say that.”

“And I know that because I love you, I can’t lie to you.”

“God, Keiji, don’t pretend to care! I know you don’t!”

“I do! I do care!”

“You fucking don’t—”

“If I didn’t why did I bother using my time on you, yn?” He asks with a tear-striped face, and you only sob some more. “Why did I tour the whole of Santorini with you? Why did I spend all of the twenty-four hours of my day on you? Because I love you, yn! I love you more than I love a stupid marriage!”

“If you truly loved me, you would have told me the truth.”

He’s facing the ceiling, sniffling, wiping away his tears, and you can’t help but think that even in this broken state, he’s still the most beautiful man on Santorini.

“I’m sorry, yn.” He admits. “I should have been truthful to you—but please, understand that I do love you.”

“Get out of my house.”

Though you know it’s no use because he lives eight feet away from you, you repeat, “Get out of here, Akaashi! I can’t even look at you right now, fuck—you made me a homewrecker, Akaashi! I didn’t even know that! You used me!”

“I loved you—”

“Well you didn’t love me enough,” you cry. “Leave, Keiji, and let this be the last time you ever set foot into my home.”

You don’t spare him even a glance as he trudges to your front door with a heavy heart.

He grabs the doorknob, and as he opens it, he takes one last look at everything good he’s ruined because he couldn’t love enough; and then he looks at you, hunched over your dining table, the best thing to happen to him, now wanting nothing to do with him all because we was a coward.

He leaves without another word.

It’s your last day on Santorini before you leave to go back to your hometown, and you go down to the pier to take one last look at the sea.

You wonder how the sea stays the same piece of art as it always was...a tapestry of all the blues and the whites of the ocean, so calm yet so volatile. It’s the same view you looked at before and after Keiji, yet after all the disaster, it stays the same.

What am I thinking, you say to yourself, of course the sea isn’t affected by my bullshit.

The sea says otherwise by delivering a bigger wave this time, crashing into the pier’s pillars even stronger than the last.

So you remember that even the most beautiful of tapestries can be ruined by a single thread, so are the deepest, most loving of relationships can be broken with one little lie.

You leave, and you don’t know when you can come back.

#akaashi keiji #akaashi keiji x reader #angst #haikyuu writing #haikyuu imagine #haikyuu #haikyuu!!#haikyū #haikyuu x reader #x reader #fukurodani #imagines #oneshot #sports anime #anime #ahahb

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postmodernmulticoloredcloak · 3 years

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@trisscar368 replied to your post “@trisscar368 replied to your post “I’m better...”

That is a weird place to put a box of babies...

I think this is one of the stages of becoming a local cryptid, “leaving animals on their doorstep in the dead of night”

we absolutely have no idea why would anyone leave the birds by our house. we are not like, known in the neighborhood for anything. we literally could not exist in our neighborhood and no one would notice. we don’t have pets, we don’t really take care of our yard. we just found this cardboard box with some straw in it and a bunch of birbs in it?? so we gave them water with a needless syringe and fed them some bird food and they liked to climb my clothes and huddle against me. in the meanwhile my dad called a bird sanctuary (they had told him what to feed them) and after a couple days he brought the birds to them.

we only lost one bird, it probably escaped the protective barrier we put them in and a cat got it.

#trisscar368

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mscria · 6 years

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it’s getting cold so please feed your local birbs!

#aesthetic #bird #birb #illustration #artists on tumblr #gif #great tit #org

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yonderlad · 6 years

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Tag Game/ Get to know me ~

Tagged by @trekkybear !

Rules: answer30 questions and tag 20 people.

Nicknames: Ru, Ruru, Jet, Moony

Gender: Male

Star sign: Aquarius

Height: 5′4″

Time: 00:55

Birthday: 5th of February

Favorite bands: Mumford and Sons, The Cure

Favorite solo artists: Frank Turner, Laura Marling

Song currently stuck in your head: Running Through Rivers by Carrie Hope Fletcher

Last movie: Assassin’s Creed - not terrible.

Last TV show: We tried to watch Campion today but realised we’d seen every single episode of it so we didn’t watch a whole one. Before that, Stranger Things.

Why did you create this blog: I swear this site was cool in 2010

What do you post/reblog: God knows. Mostly shitposts, I think. And birbs.

Last thing you googled: ‘tumblr stats checker’ Before that, ‘following the light of the sun christopher columbus’

Other blogs: my only active one: @sometongueofold . But I have 44 urls on this account and at least 15 other blogs somewhere.

Why the URL: I like the show yonderland and I thought I was funny

I follow: 2,286

Followers: 1,177

Lucky number: 8

Instruments: I’m very bad at playing several instruments, including the flute, ukulele, guitar, and bass guitar. I was once just mediocre at playing the flute, and have a grade 3. If I ever re-teach myself treble clef, I could reasonably play a keyboard

What are you wearing: I live in pajamas now

Dream Job: probably either that cool but slightly flaky history professor who you’re fairly certain is only 35 but they look about 50 and at the same time immortal, who knows way too much about their own subject but fails basic maths and wouldn’t know justin bieber in a line-up of the guys from N.W.A. or that guy from the post about bees who makes his own honey and sells it at markets and all the local bees come over and chill at his stall and he feeds them his honey except I’d also grow vegetables and ethically raise sheep and pigs and a cow for milk and all my clothes would be handmade and nobody would see me except for on market day when I’d come down and sell my surplus supplies for money to spend on books

alternatively I keep working with my parents on their narrowboat until I take over the family business and keep on at it until I’m 65 and everyone along the whole cut either knows me by sight or by reputation

Dream trip: I go with someone I love to a farm in the middle of a moor, and we work hard all day on the farm in exchange for a home-cooked meal and a warm bed, and on our days off we take ourselves up onto the moors and eat honey sandwiches curled up together hiding from the winds in a tor, running the last few hundred metres back home because the rain starts to pour, thanking the day itself for staying dry for the rest of our ten mile walk

Favorite food: I really do like honey, and I like trying all sorts of it. I have tried at least ten different local honeys so far this year, and my favourites have been Stratford-upon-Avon honey and a local Worcester one. I’ve just bought some lavender honey from here in Portugal which I’m excited to try.

I also really like cheese.

Favorite song right now: I don’t have a favourite right now.

Last book you read: Finished; Dot Con by James Veitch. Read; Blood Sisters, by Jane Corry

Top 3 universes: His Dark Materials, that one where Narnia exists, the one in Redwall

I can tag… @zashford @bobmcbobbertson @doncarlosi @sitbackandenjoytheshow @ithoughtyoumightcall @gigi-van-damn @smooshless @geothebio @iamthebricklayer @awfulrobot @knuffelkusjeprinses @la-morgana-of-templeton @toyourliking @iseektheholygrail @bluejayjeans @patch-of-shore @artistigeist @do-you-have-a-flag @thatgeeklover @catglows

hey @itsourparis haha tag ur it too

#personal #don't feel you gotta #cause you don't gotta #ask thing

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bigmeatpete69420 · 9 months

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Mourning doves waiting for an afternoon snack plus a finch

@andyisapigeon @todaysbird

#bigmeatpetebirds #mourning doves #doves #finch #birdd #birds #birdblr #birds are surprisingly loud #birds are dinosaurs #feed your local birds #birblr #birbs is dinosaurs

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itshaejinju · 7 years

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FF15 Relaxing with the Older Bros | Headcanons

It was suppose to be a fluff post for Prompto but I forgot what I had planned for the Sunshine Birb. (I didn’t write it down and went to work. . .) So I came up with something else and then I decided to elaborate for the other three as well.

Just imagine a day off with them after the sun has come back, Noctis makes it through, rebuilding the lands. Everyone is working hard and Bro and their s/o finally get a day off to enjoy themselves, alone together.

Tagging: @stephicness @stunninglyignis @zacklover24 @neko-otaku13 @rubyphilomela @zimmer2d @mandakatt @misssarahdoll @mistressoli @roses-and-oceans @blondechocobobutt @cagedbycravings @diadyn @sheylann @alicemoonwonderland @insomniacapples @chocobabyporcelain @eternallydaydreaming2015 @nykamito @ardyns-jabberwocky @valkyrieofardyn @insomniasix @ka-za-ri @waifuthewhite @lady-asuka @shiroce

Noctis: He’s grown up quite a bit now, that long nap did him a lot of good. (looks....dayum) Noctis is a bit more responsible he has a kingdom to take care of after all now and the Astrals spared him the horrible fate. The two of you are often busy with state of affairs so the time when the two of you have a whole day off you end up thanking your lucky stars (or Ignis) for a breath of fresh air. If Noctis wants to be alone he goes out fishing but he finds that he rather use a half day to fish and spend that full day off with you. Oddly enough he cooks, reverting to that time he worked in a kitchen during school. It is a day of sleeping in late, Noctis dragging himself out of bed kissing your forehead sweetly as he makes coffee and starts making breakfast. It’s nothing grand some pancakes, eggs (they were suppose to be over easy but broke and ended up scrambled) to bring to bed for breakfast in bed. The most of the morning is spent snuggling together feeding each other random chats about nonsense. Once it’s afternoon the two of you roll out of bed lazy, sensual shower sex and some lunch. The two of you don’t leave the house, in your little home you guys can just be a plain Y/N and Noctis. Both of you cook lunch together Noctis coming up with some foolish story about his time in the restaurant business to make you giggle, as you make sandwiches. Movie marathon for the rest of the afternoon, curling up on the couch arms and legs tangled up watching movies. There isn’t much talking going on during the movies a random comment about something but beyond that it’s just enjoying each others company and glad that the both of you are alive. When be becomes bed time Noctis will grumble about wishing he could control time so it could last a bit longer, not wanting to go back to work tomorrow.

Prompto: Working as a professional photographer full time, covering all the major events Noctis partakes in as well makes Prompto a busy man. So when the two of you get time to spend a whole day Prompto gets a bit excited and the day (or maybe a few days before) he’s all talking about it to EVERYONE. “BABE AND I ARE GOING TO HAVE SO MUCH FUN, WE ARE GOING TO DO THIS AND THAT!” Well. . .it ends up you two sleep in LATE, tangled up next to each other, wrapped up in the blankets and drooling on each other. Drowsily the two of you wake up slinking out of bed, Prompto still wants to do all the things that is planned but not much time. So you guys pick the most important things which ends up being ordering take out, playing video games and sorting through his personal photos. It’s a calm day curled up in his lap, leaning back against his chest and sorting through his digital storage disk for photos while he plays video games, his chin resting on the top of your head. Teasing him a little for his choice in light for a few photos, with him starting to tickle you and ends up in playful sex. The two of you go out to enjoy the afternoon weather, soaking up some rays as Prompto takes some candid photos of you and a few selfies with the two of you. Playing tag in the park, petting all the dogs, playing in the water fountain after Prompto trips and falls in. You two end up hitting up a late night food stand getting dinner heading back home coming to the realization that tomorrow is coming soon and your day of fun is over.

Gladiolus: As the King’s Shield his free time is rare so when he does get a day off Gladiolus just wants to spend it with you and no one else. He will spend half days with other friends specially if you are busy with your work. A full day? That’s just for you. He’ll wake up early to worship your body to work up a appetite he’ll tease you saying he’s had breakfast after eating you out. Gladiolus will help make breakfast, mainly in charge of cooking eggs and meats while you do the rest of it. (Don’t let him make you a protein smoothie, it’s gross and green.) Many jokes will take place while making breakfast, some revolving on how is Noctis fairing without him watching his back. Gladiolus keeps his phone nearby just in case of emergencies it’s something that he can’t not have near him, Noctis is King and a target more so than ever. Gladiolus is proud to say that you are accepting of it and love him ever still. If the weather is right for it the two of you spend the morning lounging by the pool, sunning and swimming enjoying the day. Music playing from the living room as the two of you enjoy playing Marco Polo together. You two surface from the water long enough to get out for lunch, there is a local ramen shop not too far from home that you both frequent. Picking up stuff for dinner, in the grocery store Gladiolus pushing the cart with you squished between him and the cart as he rests his chin on the top of your head as he picks out the items you call out. Back at home the two of you spend the afternoon grilling and enjoying the pool some more while drinking. So sexy good times in the pool after dinner has the two of you tired out for the night, realizing that tomorrow is back to work.

Ignis: His days off are rare and it takes a lot for him to turn off his brain from work mode to relax mode. Ignis values relaxation but he still is always alert to the needs of Noctis, it’s ingrained into his very soul. The day starts off with you relaxing him making him breakfast making him a cup of coffee just the way he likes it. You might have to turn off his phone. After that and a few reassurances that Noctis is okay Ignis settles in to the day off, he admits to thinking about it for several days now but didn’t want to voice anything feared that it would jinx him if he did. He’s taken up to gardening since the dawn, liking the idea of having his own vegetables for cooking the two of you tend to the garden together. Taking a break under a weeping willow the two of you cuddle up together talking some stories about the past and thoughts about the future. You will describe the garden in full to Ignis, he finds it really relaxing to hear your voice and the way you lovingly describe the garden makes him at peace. The both of you both have funny little jokes with all the plants, that have the two of you chuckling for quite a bit his puns just slay you. For dinner the two of you end up cooking together then ends up in a bit of a fun sex time between the two of you. Most of dinner left half eaten in your carnal desires for each other, needing both of your touches desperately. After some teasing of each other cleaning up the remainders the both of you realizing that the relaxing day is now over with that work is due tomorrow.

#ff15 headcanons #ff15 #ff15 imagines #noctis lucis caelum #prompto argentum #gladiolus amicitia #ignis scientia

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goddess-in-the-stacks · 5 years

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So last weekend we drove to Pittsburgh for Anthrocon, the second largest furry convention in the world. It was the largest until Midwest Fur Fest overtook it last year! If you’ve never heard of furries (or have only heard of them from CSI, ugh), they are a really fun subculture. Popular culture likes to call them a fetish, but mainstream furry culture is absolutely not. Furries are, simply, people who like anthropomorphic animals. Often they have fursonas, or an idea of who they would be if they were an anthropomorphic animal, and some of them have made or commissioned fursuits (similar to mascot suits) so they can dress up and pretend to be their fursona. Furry culture is a happy one, really – there is just so much joy at Anthrocon, from people dressing up and just playing. There are meetups for different types of animals, like bird suiters and cats and dragons. (I saw a photo on Twitter of a water buffalo at a lion meetup captioned “living dangerously” which cracked me up.)

One of the best things about furry culture, in my opinion, is the lack of giving a fuck about gender roles and sexuality. Most suits obscure your gender – and for gender non-conforming people, it can be an incredibly freeing experience. So there are a lot of pride flags flying, and transgender flags are incredibly common. (I saw several fursuiters wearing them like capes!) It’s just an amazing place to be yourself, because nobody judges you.

Husband in a badger mask, and boss trying on a tiger mask in the mirror.

So this is how we spent our weekend. We help a friend of ours sell leather masks and folding fans, both at this con and at the Maryland Renaissance Fair every year. (See photo above, and her website here!) It is an absolute blast, spending time with three of our best friends (boss and her partners) and chilling with furries.

Now that you know what furries are about, the rest of this post should make more sense! Thursday we drove up to Pittsburgh. We normally help set up the booth, but they only allow a certain number of people in with the Dealer, so Tiger and her partners set up her booth while we got our badges and wandered back to the hotel until dinner.

Three fursuiters in the Dealer’s Den.

Friday the Con kicked off for real, and the Dealer’s Den opened. We sold fans (SO MANY FANS) and masks until 6pm. We got to see some amazing fursuiters walk through the Dealer’s Room, and said hi to several people we knew from Fair and previous Anthrocons. I walked down to the Charity Table, because this year’s charity (Anthrocon supports a different one each year) was Pearl Parrot Rescue, so they had a few different parrots at their table throughout the weekend. We ended up raising a record $46,440 for their charity!

Saturday was another full day in the Dealer’s Den, with the Fursuit Parade in the middle of the afternoon. They actually blocked off a road outside the conference center, and put out a bunch of chairs so people from Pittsburgh could come watch the parade! Pittsburgh is an amazing city, and they’ve absolutely embraced Anthrocon and furries. The local restaurants usually have deals for people with Anthrocon badges, or furry-themed food specials, and many places do events themed around the furries. Anthrocon attendees regularly inject several MILLION dollars into the local economy over the weekend, though, so it’s no surprise they love us!

Scyther!

Sunday the Dealer’s Den closed at 4 instead of 6, to give the Dealers time to pack up their booths and load out. We still had 6 hours of vending time, and saw many more fursuits. I don’t remember which day we saw Scyther, but they were one of many Pokemon suiters. After packing up Tiger’s booth, we headed back to our hotel. They drove back Sunday night, but we stayed an extra night in Pittsburgh….

So we could go to the National Aviary Monday morning! BECAUSE BIRBS. The Wattled Curassow, above, liked to hang out on the railing. I was highly amused at how many people walked by her, or stood at the railing right next to her, without noticing she was there, just chilling. This was in the Wetlands environment, along with spoonbills and flamingos and pelicans and all kinds of birds.

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I actually got to hold a fish to feed a Tern as part of their interactive feeding talk. I took video of the first half of the talk. I’ll try to upload that soon, because it was really neat!

In other exhibits they had Stellar’s Sea Eagles, which were HUGE. I knew they were big, but DAAAANG.

Or at least I thought they were huge until we got to the Andean Condor exhibit. I was really excited by this one, and it was a large part of why I wanted to go to the National Aviary. Andean Condors are the largest flying bird in the world, and WOW. We walked up just as one of them hopped up onto a rocky ledge and HOLY COW THEY ARE HUGE. It’s hard to get a sense of scale through pictures, but trust me. These guys are enormous.

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In addition to these giants of the bird world, we also saw Tawny Frogmouths, a Kookaburra, and Flying Foxes. Which are bats. But hey. They fly!

In the Rainforest Exhibit were a pair of Hyacinth Macaws, which is one of my favorite species, and this fabulous bird in a nest, among many others. We saw a Palm Cockatoo – the amazing black ones – but he hid behind a tree very quickly, so I didn’t get a picture.

I also didn’t get a picture of the lorikeets, but we fed them! I had two come to me immediately – I’d been hanging out outside the enclosure talking to them through the wire mesh – and they didn’t want to leave when the nectar was gone. One of them I had to reach up and set on a branch, he was fairly determined to stick with me! The keepers were rather surprised he’d refused to leave, but I explained I’d grown up with birds. They seem to like me!

I have three souvenirs from the weekend – a shot glass from the aviary, and two AMAZING posters from Anthrocon. The expression on the parakeet’s face just KILLS me. (The artist is on Twitter at @TsaoShin)

Monday afternoon we drove back from the aviary, fell into bed, and slept until Tuesday. It was a fantastic weekend. We’d originally planned to go to Toronto instead of coming home, but that fell through, and we’ll probably try to do it next year instead. I am exhausted – well, maybe not by the time this post goes up, hopefully! – but happy.

Anthrocon Wrap Up! My weekend in #Pittsburgh at #Anthrocon2019 and the @National_Aviary! BECAUSE #BIRBS! (Poster from @TsaoShin) So last weekend we drove to Pittsburgh for Anthrocon, the second largest furry convention in the world.

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afterspark-podcast · 5 years

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G1 Episode 9: Transcript

Episode Show Notes

[This can also be found on AO3!]

[Stinger]

S: Feed me! Or you need to get on your bed and let me lie on you!.

[Intro Music Plays]

O: Hello and welcome to the Afterspark Podcast, and episode by episode recap of the generation 1 Transformers cartoon. I'm Owls!

S: And I’m Specs. [titters]

O: Do you want to try that again?

S: And I'm Specs.

O: Today we're gonna be talking about episode number 9, Fire on the Mountain! Let's talk about giant robots today, shall we?

S: Yes.

O: So, if you remember last time we got Dinobots and sadly Dinobots will be Sirs Not-Appearing-in-this-Picture until the next episode, so I will, ah, kindly put my love for Grimlock away and we'll talk about it later, but just remember my cute Dino baby is coming back next episode.

S: Yeah.

O: Alright, so, um, today's episode opens with Brawn and Trailbreaker trailing- haha- Thundercracker and Starscream.

S: And they're totally driving on a road that looks like it's paved with giant metal bricks. That design choices for industrial areas this cartoon are really weird.

O: Especially because this is a human area. This is not, like, an Autobot area they're breaking into or-

S: or Cybertron.

O: Or Cybertron. This is a human area which seems mildly weird, um, but whatever. Uh, they arrive at a steel plant. Uh, Starscream running ahead of Thundercracker once they land, uh, with Starscream reminding Thundercracker of his superiority all of the way there.

S: Dot, dot, dot.

O: [Laughter]

S: Thundercracker is basically just trying to bring up that, hey, the steel from this plant might not be quite up to snuff for the project the Decepticons need it for and Starscream is completely ignoring him.

O: Because of course he is. Starscream is Starscream, and Starscream is gonna do what Starscream wants.

S: Yeah and they're stealing steel.

O: Oh my fucking pun! [Laughter] This is not even a good pun! Anyway throughout this we find out Starscream can apparently shoot missiles from his chest. Okay.

S: Titty guns. [Laughter]

O: [Sigh] We’re supposed to save all the innuendos till we get a Megatron gun. One psychedelic looking explosion later Thundercracker and Starscream fly off, leaving the Autobots buried under the wreckage.

S: There's some surprisingly nice background painting here, I really like it.

O: I believe you called it, “artfully destroyed,” while we were watching it.

S: Yeah, that sounds about right. And Starscream said we're bringing the house down.

O: Oh, you punny-punny bastard you. So the Autobots dig themselves out of all the wreckage, then they report back to the Ark.

S: Not helping any of these people. There's this entire crowd of people wearing welding masks-

O: That we saw running from from the Seekers.

S: Like, they- they're not helping any of these people that just got exploded or had stuff dropped on their heads. I mean, yeah, we totally- we totally saw this is entire crowd of people running away.

O: They’re fiiiiiine! So, uh, the Autobots get new toys today. Back to the Ark, they now have satellites or “sky spies.”

S: Honestly, I'm really wondering what diplomatic hoops had to be jumped through for this. I mean, the Cold War was presumably still going on or maybe the onset of the giant robot war put that on hold.

O: I mean, can you imagine Russia wouldn't have reacted very well to this. Like I-I imagine that like, Optimus would have had to do some serious smooth-talking. Like we, you know, we are neutral. We just want to keep the Decepticons in line. We're more than happy to help you guys, too. I don't know how that would have worked but he apparently did it so, ehh?

S: Like, I don't think I've ever read anything where anyone's tackled this but I kind of want them to.

O: Yeah, like, I know that a lot of more “edgy”, uh, recent stuff they- they tend to do focus on that kind of thing a lot more, and I'd like to see it but I'd like to see it a bit more positively than just the humans are going to kill the giant robots. It's a little depressing after a while, when they keep doing that.

S: Cuz they did this with Bumblebee, actually. Spoiler Alert!

O: Yeah, basically in Bumblebee they were, like, well we don't want the Russi- we don't want them to go to the Russians for help, so they end up helping, um helping, um, some of the robots that are not very nice robots if you catch my drift.

S: Mmhmm. And it's like, uh, eventually real- they eventually realized that these robots are the bad guys and John Cena’s character is the voice of reason, “They're called the Decepticons!”

O: [Laughter] Which is also kind of funny if you’ve read the comics, there's actually a legit reason they’re called that but more on that later. So meanwhile, in South America, the Decepticons are standing in front of an Incan pyramid and Soundwave is going on about some Incan legend being true.

S: How did he research this? Did he call a library? Did he go to the library?

O: I rather love the idea of a librarian just being like, “Well, technically we're open to everyone. This includes giant, evil 40-foot alien robots as long as they're not blowing up the building.”

S: I mean, they are- the libraries are public service.

O: Speaking as a former student librarian I can attest that, yes, I definitely would have helped him research history shit if asked. [Laughter] You're a librarian it's what you do! You do not discriminate! Like, yeah.

S: And we have yet another shaft leading down to the Earth's core.

O: Of course we do. The earth is just full of them and none of them are volcanoes.

S: It's leaking like a sieve. Sieve? [different pronunciation]

O: Sieve. Sieve. [Laughter]

S: I’ve never heard anyone say that word.

O: That is why I’m here.

S: Yeah, geeze, this cartoon.

O: They had a one plot idea and they said, “If we use it again a few episodes later no one will notice. The kids will not notice.”

S: Well, honestly probably no one did. I don't know. So Megatron blasts the pyramid and does some impromptu remodeling. I mean, we’re not sure how big this hole is. You can see all the robots through it but it doesn't look big enough for them-

O: They had to crawl through. But it is still a pretty big hole, they're pretty tall.

S: Yeah, and so he does this and it's pissing off anthropologists, archaeologists, and indigenous peoples.

O: And me! Stop destroying historical sites, you bastard! Trying to take over the world? Not a problem for Owls. Destroying history? Now that's a problem.

S: Yeah, yeah, and for some reason the tunnels and stairs in the pyramid happen to be perfectly sized for Megatron and Soundwave to walk down. It's like, okay.

O: Aliens. [Laughter]

S: And so we've got another freaking crystal! This one is called “The Crystal of Power.”

O: He’s really got a thing for crystals, doesn’t he? He even calls it magnificent.

S: Honestly, he should just get a pet rock.

O: Honestly? Optimus just needs to put a ring on it and maybe we wouldn’t be having this problem!

S: [Laughter] Oh my god.

O: Just get a giant ring with a giant rock, and I’m just saying maybe- maybe that’s all Megatron wants is for Optimus to recognize him and give him a giant fucking rock, ok?

S: Oh god, the diplomatic gift that is also a wedding present.

O: Oh boy.

S: Anyway, Megatron picks up the crystal, unleashing the fires of hell.

O: This does absolutely nothing.

S: They don’t even utilize this weird column of energy that comes out of the-

Both: -hole-

S: -that crystal was plugging for Energon cubes or anything. He apparently just wan- Meg’s just wants his bling.

O: Yeah, okay seriously so we give another Starscream, uh, Megatron tiff. Uh, Megatron insinuating that the steel Starscream stole had better be strong enough for their big-ass gun.

S: So, is he- is he gonna test his mettle?

O: [Sighs] I’m not talking to you. [Laughter]

S: Okay, and then Starscream shoves the crystal in their big damn gun thing and the column of energy underground, like, explodes or whatever? Or something.

O: So I guess we stand corrected? It seems to be- it seems to be related to what they're doing on the roof of the temple but I still don't understand how they’re affecting each other.

S: And Meg’s seems pretty happy?? With ‘Screamer right now????

O: Yeah, it is- it is a little strange, he does actually seem happy with him right now. Uh, elsewhere the Sky Spy picks up on this weird energy signal that's coming from the Decepticons and the ruins they’re in. Laserbeak spots this Sky Spy in orbit and Megatron shoots it with his big fucking gun.

S: And the thing is, Laserbeak isn't in orbit.

O: Yeah, he’s got good eyesight. He’s a good birb.

S: Yeah. Yeah, he really is.

O: And then some probably pretty terribly racist 80’s stereotypes of Peruvian people talk about ancient gods returning.

S: [Heavy sigh]

O: I would like to apologize. I don't really know how- it's like, it just- it doesn't seem very respectful. We're both white though so we don't really know, but it's that kind of stereotypical “We're gonna talk about people from a different country and they all have accents” and seem kind of dumb? It just doesn't seem very good.

S: And it's just like aliens? But the scale up those stairs it does kind of make you think, have transformers been here before?

O: BEAST WARS!!! So, yes- maybe, maybe. [Laughter] So, this crystal of power thing is apparently well known enough that a young Peruvian woman puts two and two together that someone's trying to use the damn thing.

S: I mean, if she knows about it- tons of other people in her- in her locale probably know about it so how did this thing not get looted?

O: Well, it does unleash the literal fires of hell once moved.

S: But that's true, but people get really dumb when giant rocks are involved. Especially giant shiny rocks. Anyway, I guess it's also completely fucking massive.

O: Yeah, they may not be able to lift that. Yeah, they may not be able to get a machine in there - one person probably couldn’t do it.

S: Oh yeah, considering it takes- Megatron can pick the thing up in two hands. That's like as big as my cat is to me.

O: Right, it's not small.

S: Compared to a human. A human would be like- I am NOT doing comparative math right now, I’m sorry.

O: Uh, I would say a human shorter than Megatron, for me.

S: Okay.

O: Probably.

S: So, if Megatron was, like, a six-foot human- it would be, you know [indistinct]. Let's go with, maybe, eight or nine inches?

O: Yeah. Basically, it's too big. Megatron espouses about having ultimate power and that it's all his. Starscream would like to cut in to remind him that communal property is a thing in a relationship and shit.

S: And Thundercracker just looks like he really, really doesn't want to be here.

O: [Huff of Laughter] He just- it just looks like, “Do you two ever bitch at each other in private? Where we don't have to deal with it?”

S: He kind of- yeah.

O: [Laughter] He’s just like, “If you two are gonna do this, please do it elsewhere. We're trying to work here.” Uh, so the steel frame for the BFG melted after Megatron, uh, fired it and Megatron rightfully blames Starscream.

S: His metal totally did not hold up, it seems.

O: So, Starscream blames Thundercracker despite it literally be all Starscream's fault.

S: And Thundercracker, poor scapegoat that he is, gets punched off the pyramid by Megatron. Who then leaves Skywarp in charge.

O: Skywarp is really happy about this.

S: Megatron is literally leaving the least mature bot in charge and, yeah, Skywarp’s just like, “Haha, you nerds.”

O: [Laughter] [Indistinct] Yeah, he's very happy to be in charge.

S: Megatron and Soundwave and Reflector fly off to get more metal from a nearby mining town. Which we had the discussion that it might not be very good quality?

O: Yeah, I am curious- like at the time if there was a metal refinery in Peru, like would the metal from the US have had been a higher quality? I don't really know, like my gut instinct is to say the US metal would have been better but that might just kind of be the bullshit we grew up with in the US, so I really don't know? So, uh, meanwhile- Wheeljack and Sideswipe are now in the Arctic-

S: Grave-robbing! Um, sort of.

O: So, remember Skyfire? Well, I'm convinced Wheeljack has only just now found out about the whole Skyfire thing from a few episodes ago and realized the poor guy's not dead he just needs dug out. So uh, Wheeljack’s got Sideswipe using his piledrivers to try and dig out Skyfire who's been stuck in an iceberg thing.

S: Like, Sideswipe breaks- breaks the ice and then Skyfire just, like, fucking bobs up out of the water like some sort of bobber that's been stuck under or something and then, um, I don't know? Wheeljack, like, shoots him with a gun that like partially melts him and he asks a question and Skyfire’s just awake, and he’s apparently been awake for this, like, the last few episodes?

O: Yeah, there's a reason I didn't try to write out how I was going to explain that. Because it was too much- it was too weird.

S: It-

O: It’s too nuts.

S: It’s too weird. It's weird and. Yeah, so Skyfire gets out and he, Wheeljack, and Sideswipe talk like they all know each other.

O: These three have literally never met until just this moment. Sideswipe nor Wheeljack were with the group that went to the Arctic a few episodes ago.

S: I mean, I suppose it's conceivable that Skyfire and Wheeljack knew each other prior to Skyfire’s, uh, icy entombment back on Cybertron.

O: I mean, he was a scientist but I kinda doubt it?

S: Maybe they knew each other by reputation, I don't know.

O: Who knows? It still seems like a kind of weird conversation.

S: Yeah, and he's instantly made into the Autobot taxi, being sent back to the base to transport some Autobots. You know, to Peru.

O: [Laughter] Welp, glad you’re awake! Get to work.

S: Pretty much.

O: Next we see him, Skyfire is chauffeuring Brawn and Windcharger down to South America.

S: And Brawn thinks he and Windcharger can totally take on Megatron, Soundwave, and Reflector, you know, by themselves. Like idiots. He turns down Skyfires offer to the help with this confrontation.

O: I've decided Brawn is definitely an idiot.

S: He's- he's just hard-headed. Like, yeah, just hard headed. And Brawn and Windcharger just, you know, totally bail out of Skyfire. They jump. Without parachutes. There’s none of those-

O: Handy parachute.

S: And Brawn lands on Soundwave, calling him a “dipstick tape deck.”

O: Now, listen here, you ass! In this house we respect Soundwave. [Laughter] Um, and then Windcharger lands on Reflector.

S: It's-It’s really like a Decepticon rodeo.

O: Nobody lands on Megatron, though.

S: Yeah, he, um, he gives terrible piggyback rides. Once you're done he shoots you.

O: [Laughter] Yeah, he would.

S: And Brawn rides?? Soundwave face-first into a mountain.

O: Brawn’s officially on my shit list now. Yep, definitely on my fucking shit list.

S: Megatron proceeds to shoot Brawn who basically goes flying backwards knocking down poor Soundwave who was just getting back up. Like, again.

O: Yeah, yeah. I feel bad for Soundwave.

S: It's just a Soundwave gets beaten up episode.

O: Seriously, fuck you Brawn! Anyway, Windcharger calls Skyfire for a retreat because he's not a complete fucking moron.

S: He's being chased by Laserbeak or someone?

O: Uh, yeah, I think so.

S: Laserbeak is chasing Windcharger. That's what's happening.

O: And Soundwave finally gets a shot in, repaying Braun for his shenanigans.

S: Yep, and Meg’s transforms into his alt-mode and Soundwave fires him off.

O: To Soundwave’s credit he at least actually looks like he aims with Megatron's scope but he still manages to miss every damn shot. So, Skyfire eventually evacuates these two idiots midair when Windcharger, in car mode, runs into Brawn who's in robot mode and then ramps off a cliff with Brawn clinging to his windshield.

S: It looks silly, but when doesn't it?

O: We know what we're talking about.

S: And it's the dreaded return of Astroseconds.

O: Which just makes me hate Brawn even more.

S: So much groaning.

O: So back at the Ark, everybody's loading up into Skyfire after finding out there's a bunch of fucking Decepticons in Peru and one of them is Megatron.

S: And Skyfire is just totally huge here. I mean, he's massive. He looks like, comparatively, he's- like all the Autobots are human sized whereas he's Autobot sized.

O: Yeah, the scale looks kind of off. Optimus, especially, is super tiny and I don’t think he's quite that tiny.

S: It's just really off. It’s so off.

O: Regardless, once they’re in Peru, Optimus pats Skyfire on the nose-cone, kind of like a horse? As a thank you?

S: Well, Skyfire is friend-shaped, so...

O: He is friend-shaped. Skyfire drops everyone off and then flies off by himself to investigate the ruins that, uh, the Decepticons have been creating shenanigans in.

S: Well, he hasn't had an opportunity to do science or whatever in forever. He just wants to do some hands-on anthropology.

O: At least it's more in vein [than] with the fighting, I can't really blame him.

S: Yeah.

O: So, Decepticons are attacking some sort of metal refinery, stealing additional, well, steel.

S: The Autobots show up and then Optimus fucking Prime rams into Megatron. As a semi, throwing him through a wall. That was pretty great, actually.

O: It was- it was a very entertaining scene. Brawn proceeds to steal Megatron's fusion cannon.

S: And then does this great magical girl-esque transformation, twirling around and ending up with the fusion cannon on his shoulder.

O: Megatron gets beaned in the chest by his own fusion cannon and Brawn gets knocked on his ass from the kickback.

S: Yeah, and Laserbeak is a good birb and he takes this opportunity to return the fusion cannon to Megatron. Megatron tries to blast Brawn but, you know, he misses.

O: You realize Brawn is one of the only ones who's actually hit another bot with a gunshot in this goddamn episode.

S: Yeah, yeah.

O: Fuck that shit. The shot hits something else and explodes. The young woman we saw earlier is here for some reason and Spike pulls her into Bumblebee to get her away from the explosion. They drive off.

S: And the falling debris because he's- I don't know, the shot, like, took out this radio tower thing?

O: It caused this big explosion, so there was stuff coming down from the sky, too-

S: Yeah.

O: So, note: The young woman's name is Louisa. We don't ever actually hear it in the episode but I kind of tired of calling her young Peruvian woman.

S: And we'll never see her in another episode, so.

Both: [groans]

O: Sorry, Louisa, you deserve better.

S: Yeah.

O: And time number 55 that poor Bumblebee’s being chased by Laserbeak.

S: Yeah, Bluestreak’s apparently allowed to hit someone today - as he blasts Laserbeak.

O: I would like to officially request that Soundwave and his cassettes gets a vacation after this debacle.

S: And Megatron calls Skyfor- blagh.

O: Skyfor-? My name is Skyforge!

S: [Laughter] It’s not actually a bad name.

O: It isn’t, actually!

S: Megatron calls in Skywarp as a backup. Starscream is livid at being left to nursemaid the big glowy crystal and the gun.

O: The humans and Bumblebee enter, uh, the temple as Soundwave sends Ravage in after them.

S: Skyfire continues to investigate the ruins, being captured by the two remaining seekers. So, Thundercracker and Starscream.

O: And poor Skyfire. Poor dude just woke up, again and gets blasted in the chest and knocked out.

S: And dragged into the temple like such a large sack of flour.

O: Yeah, cause he's so much bigger than them. So the Cons retreat, having gotten all the steel they need. Megatron causes a rockslide on the nearby village.

S: The Autobots blast all the rock, saving the village.

O: You’d still think the village would have gotten hit by some of the rocks or debris or something but apparently shooting in the general direction of something destroys all momentum.

S: I guess? And Louisa and Spike are just riding in Bumblebee down an ancient Inca tunnel that- that seems-

O: That's perfectly scaled for Cybertronians!

S: That seems like a really good way to damage a historical site and in any case they're apparently really unconcerned while being chased by a giant metal cat.

O: I'm just going to assume they don't notice Ravage here for sanity’s sake.

S: He is a stealthy dude.

O: He is, but he wasn't being very stealthy here.

S: And the two Seekers carry Skyfire into the temple. Megatron apparently plans to rewire Skyfire’s brain so he’ll be a Decepticon. Okay.

O: Can he do that? If he can do that, why doesn’t he do that more?

S: Well, apparently, that's one of the possible, uh, origins for- uh-

O: The Constructicons, right?

S: Yes, the Constructicons, yeah.

O: So, meanwhile, Megatron levels a nearby mountain with the BFG.

S: The Decepticons just absolutely fucking love ecological disruption apparently.

O: Specs, Specs- the gun is fucking purple! [Laughter]

S: It is his favorite color! Yeah, and Bumblebee and the crew have found the hole into hell.

O: Ravage attacks as Spike attempts to fix an offline Skyfire because there- he's in the same room as the hole from hell, apparently.

S: You know, the Decepticons just wanted to consolidate things, I guess. I don't know. And Megs is super super super duper stoked about his gun firing on the Autobots.

O: With Laserbeak on his shoulder again.

S: Honestly, the gun placement doesn't make any sense. I'm not going to talk about that.

O: But just know that this spatial stuff, it's- it's not rooted in logic. Then we'll just go from there.

S: Yeah. No one can hit shit today, though. like we've only got two confirmed-

O: No, three, cuz technically Soundwave hit Brawn. Thank god. Yeah well I'm glad somebody fucking did. Anyway, Skyfire wakes up in time to catch Ravage midair and toss him away from his pals.

S: Like, he can hold Ravage in one hand.

O: That is is how much bigger he is!

S: That's honestly kind of amazing and terrifying.

O: Like, don’t get me wrong, Ravage is just considerably smaller than everybody else but still!

S: Yeah, just, like Ravage can stand on top of Bumblebee and hold him down so like yeah.

O: His hand is bigger. Er, it's smaller than a Volkswagen Bug for Christ's sakes.

S: Yeah, lots of fighting happens outside, the majority of which involves Megatron and Starscream shooting as Autobots as they attempt to climb the temple. The Autobots don't make a ton of headway but Starscream does end up with Brawn in his face.

O: Of course, he fucking does! Fuck Brawn!

S: And Megatron tosses Ironhide down the pyramid. Optimus makes a surprisingly graceful catch. It's really graceful.

O: So Skyfire shoots the, like, shoots the BFG destroying it and unleashing the literal fires of hell.

S: Skyfire, actually, for whatever reason like, well, Spike fixes him, he throws the cat, and then transforms and flies out of the temple.

O: Yeah, I'm like- I don't even remotely know how he would fit.

S: So, yeah, after he flies out of the temple, he shoots the big fucking gun destroying it and unleashing the fires of hell.

O: Optimus tackles Megatron and tosses Megs off the ruins. Megs lands headfirst on the ground.

S: And the Decepticons retreat.

O: Thundercracker proceeds to have no sense of self-preservation what-so-fucking-ever and, to be entirely done with today, he starts sassing the hell out of Megatron and Starscream for basically everything that has just happened. Wheeljack has apparently invented a high-tech manhole to plug the hell hole.

S: But they put it on top of the temple instead of, you know, in the temple where the crystal was originally plugging it so…

O: I don't know. I just don't know. The cartoon clearly doesn't know, either.

S: Yeah.

O: Anyway, so Spike and Bumblebee are taking Luisa home and she apparently plans to introduce Bumblebee to her brother's convertible- whose name is Juanita.

S: And cars emote-ing! Bumblebee is super cute here.

O: He is! He does like this squash and stretch thing.

S: That make him smile with his bumper and that is adorable. Oh, one of the things the Autobots do is that they all like lean themself up against the sides of the temple-

O: Oh, god, I forgot about this.

S: To be like? Skylights? Or something?

O: I don't know if it's like a celebration because it doesn't seem like they're helping light where they’re putting the manhole down or what. It's just, it just it is pretty funny when you see like cars on their backs like 180 degrees vertical, like their skylights or their headlights to the sky. It’s just like, what are you doing?

S: I don’t know, they're doing something but I don't know.

O: Anyway, that's where the episode cuts- is on cute Bumblebee. So I join us next time for episode 10: War of the Dinobots, in which the Autobots will learn the perils of leaving their big, young, dumb Dino-babies unattended for more than five fucking minutes.

S: And introducing two new Dino-babies.

O: Yes! Two new Dino-babies! One of which is Swoop, who is also very cute!

S: Yes.

O: Alright, my dear Specs, what is our fanfic for today?

S: Alright, so today we have a selection. Well, smaller selection than yesterday or the- the last two episodes but still a nice little selection. We've got three fanfics today.

S: “Like a Sinking Star” by Katharos, which is G1. It's not really specified if it’s cartoon or comic. It's rated K, its Gen, there's no pairings. Our main characters here are Starscream and Skyfire though there are original characters, and so in summary: “Pre-war, the Academy is a hotbed of political dissent, protests, and factions. Skyfire is a struggling grad student, desperately chasing grants with his partner Starscream.”

S: And it just. but it's- it's enjoyable and it shows Skyfire making difficult ethical decisions and Starscream being a political- maybe doing political machinations, which is entertaining and so our theme or character base for today for that rec is Skyfire and it's a one shot.

O: As he makes his glorious return on this episode and I think… Does he survive till the end of the series? [Indistinct]

S: Yeah, you never really see.. I don't think you see him in season 3, so I think it’s assumed that he survived but I don't know.

O: Yeah, it gets kind of weird. So, in the Transformers movie they don't actually- you don't actually see everyone who dies.

S: Yeah.

O: As terrible as that sounds, so it's sort of like, unless, if you don't see them- you kind of, maybe, should assume they're dead? Because we didn't, like, in a few of them- you see their bodies in the movie but you like to see them for like two seconds. It's actually why I don't like the Transformers movie. It’s because it gets very depressing and I don't know, they didn't even give screen time to everybody who died. Like, I want to say we did not see Wheeljack's body?

S: We do see Wheeljack's body, he's one of the people that- or one of the bots that Arcee is pulling-

O: Ah, that's right.

S: Like Windcharger’s body is also there in that scene. It's before, like, it's when Springer is trying to push like the... catapult thing? He's calling Arcee over to help him push it and she's been pulling Wheeljack's- Wheeljack and Windcharger’s corpses, uh, I guess to safety.

O: It's really depressing. I was like, we didn't even see- didn't even see Wheeljack die and then, like, Ratchet dies in a very horrifying way. Honestly.

S: And Prowl.

O: And Prowl.

S: Like you see him vomiting up smoke.

O: Yeah,it’s pretty horrifying. It's one of the few times where Megatron is legitimately threatening, actually.

S: Like this movie scarred a generation of children.

O: And I, like, I as an adult am looking at this, going, “Okay, guys, that seems like a bit fucking much, don't you think?” And also it just seems really disrespectful because like a lot of them died off-screen and then we're following characters we don't even know through the entire movie, who weren't really that bad but I was bored. That's my biggest complaint is I get bored when I watch this movie.

S: Yeah, it was a movie, they decided they wanted to get rid of the old cast to sell toys and so they were just like, “Kill everyone!” Or at least that was the production mandate by whoever was in charge.

O: It was really depressing, though, because I'm like, so Skyfire could be alive and somewhere else or he could have been one of the casualties.

S: There-

O: In the movie.

S: Like, there are numerous pieces of fanfiction that treat it like Skyfire’s gone off into the universe to do more science stuff and that's what he's doing in season 3-

O: I hope so.

S: Or post season 3. But yeah, let's let's move on. Yeah, okay so our next rec is “Hunted” by WaywardInsecticon. It's G1 cartoon based, rated K plus and it's Gen. Pairings: none. So, our main characters here are Skywarp and Thundercracker, though there are original characters and Megatron, Starscream, and other Decepticons also show up. “Skywarp and Thundercracker come across a plot by a disgruntled Monitor to take over Cybertron - in the most literal sense possible. Now they're being chased by some very dangerous people, and the Seekers are outnumbered, outgunned, and running low on power.” Our theme here was Seekers! with an exclamation point and this is actually the third in a series.

S: It's so Wayward- well it's part of Waywards first venture into writing Transformers fanfiction, which I think she's mentioned she's not especially fond of but I really enjoy a lot of the ideas that she had. And so to touch on Monitors: a monitor in this particular fanfiction universe that Wayward created is essentially what Shockwave is and so there are like Monitors for each section of Cybertron but Shockwave is sort of the overarching one. Basically they're the sort of the general managers of each- it's like city-state to make sure that, uh, make sure that everything is running smoothly and this one’s decided that it wants to take over Cybertron and basically usurp Megatron's authority and power.

O: A mistake, clearly.

S: Yeah, but like I enjoyed Skywarp and Thundercrackers characterization and there's some pretty neat- just there's something. I enjoyed it. It's also- it's quite old, it's something that I first read quite a long time ago, definitely over te- 15 years ago now, I think. Maybe. Yeah but it's- it's fun, I enjoyed it and definitely recommending it to you, dear listeners.

S: Our last recommendation is “Ali Versus The Giant Robot Shoplifters from Space” by Misya. Misya? The author's name is spelled Misya and I’m just unsure of how the author prefers the pronunciation and please correct me, I suppose. Thank you. Continuity is Animated, this one is rated M, which is our first M-rated recommendation and it's for cursing. So there is- unless you object to cursing, there is- there isn't really any objectionable, like, adult content in here. It’s just cursing. It’s rated M, it's Gen, there's no pairings and our characters here are original characters, uh, the aforementioned Ally. There's also Lugnut and Blitzwing.

O: Again, all from the Transformers Animated continuity.

S: Mm-hmm-hmm. But in summary “TFA. Ever wondered how the Decepticons find food for Professor Sumdac?”

O: So, some- some background as we haven't been talking about Animated. There is a character in Transformers Animated that gets kidnapped by the Decepticons at some point and is with them with- for an extended length of time.

S: Yes.

O: Um, so it's basically, well, they had to have been feeding him, so how were they doing that?

S: Mm-hmm and so our theme for this was Decepticons and acquiring things. Cuz, we see them stealing steel in this episode and they're always trying to-

O: -Steal energy or Energon or something.

S: Or materials and in this piece of fanfiction, they're stealing food, which, god, hearing a robot, a giant robot, that's just ripped the roof off of your place of work asking, “Where do you keep your flesh?”

O: Oh, dear [Laughter] I haven’t read this one yet, but clearly I need to?

S: “Where do you keep your flesh?” is a trip and Ali is definitely very done with the day.

O: [Laughter] I don’t think I blame her!

S: Mm-hmm, so that one is a one shot and I definitely recommend it, as I recommend all of these- so thank you and on to our art recommendations by Owls.

O: Our fan art recommendation for the day- I'm going to go with I think her name is STF or S-TF, I couldn't actually find their name. Their tumblr name is S-TF.tumblr.com. Uh, so and then their Twitter is named, like, I think-

S: BBBTF. [They’ve changed this a couple of times since we recorded the episode, at the time of posting this transcript their Twitter is S_TFCM. ~Owls]

O: So I wasn't really sure to call this one, uh, but that- but that's their user account or that's their I can't- different accounts that we have will have their Tumblr and their Twitter. Unfortunately, we can't read most of their comics because I believe it's in Chinese or Korean but their art is really pretty. There's this one series they did, in particular, that I really like- with characters from the IDW comics accompanied by quotes they said and, uh, we will be reblogging a post that has a bunch of those and that is what we will be linking to.

S: Mm-hmm.

O: My favorite ones in particular out of the set, were the Shockwave one. As we had mentioned earlier, Shockwave was very, very different originally in the IDW comics and then was kind of made into this emotionless shell of himself and so it's rather fascinating because the art involves, you know, kind of both sides of that which I thought was very interesting. There's one for Cyclonus and Tailgate and then there's also one for Megatron and Terminus. And Terminus is Megatron's mentor because then the IDW comics he was originally a miner. Like, not as in young, but somebody who works underground-

S: In a mine.

O: -In a mine. And it kind of shows, like, his own guilt because he thought he had left Terminus to die, um, and so they're very- they're very interest- I think they're very well done and they work very well with the quotes from the comics.

S: Yeah, I'm especially fond of the First Aid and Ambulon one.

O: And I will tell you that there probably isn't enough Ambulon fanart to satisfy Specs.

S: Yeah, I want a toy and it's not going to happen.

O: I’m still confused how we don't have a freaking Rung, honestly.

S: I want a Rung, too, yeah.

O: Yeah, I don't understand how there hasn't been a Rung made.

S: Even a third party Rung. Maybe it's just that he doesn't have, like, a cool alt-mode.

O: He doesn't have a cool alt-mode but, I mean, come on! I don't even think I necessarily want a Rung if you get a Rung, but I want to take pictures of your Rung.

S: Well I mean we were already planning on doing the thing where when you get your Wheeljack I bring my Ratchet down-

O: Oh yeah we're gonna make robots kiss.

[Laughter]

S: Well, maybe in the future. There's always new third party toys coming out.

O: Don't I know it!

S: And that just about wraps it up for us today! Remember to check out our tumblr at Afterspark-podcast.tumblr.com for any additional information, show notes, or links we may have mentioned. You can also find us on Facebook and Twitter @AftersparkPod (all one word) and SoundCloud and Youtube at Afterspark Podcast. you can also find us on Pillowfort as Afterspark-podcast and on AO3 by searching for Afterspark Podcast or by checking the Transformers All Series, um, things and searching for it in the search.

O: We also do have links to the specific series page on our Tumblr and Pillowfort and Facebook. It should be on both our Tumblr and PIllowfort.

S: Yes. Till next time, I'm Specs!

O: And I'm Owls!

S: Toodles!

[Outro Music Plays]

#transcript #afterspark podcast #g1 episode 9

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