#existence is consequently now being told that people would really really really really like it if you met with an unfortunate end

[coddda]

Light Yagami is so insane specifically for the way that he manages to contradict himself in every way possible. Like I think about it All the time.

He doesn't make mistakes. He makes the same mistakes every single time in every single universe, just in different ways.

He sticks strongly to his own beliefs. He betrays himself and his own ideals by doing exactly what Light Yagami would do, no matter what version of Death Note it is. He betrays himself by seeking out a "better" means of justice, he betrays himself by trying to protect others, by just living and being bored and trying to avoid ever doing wrong. His very existence is a betrayal to himself.

He is proud to be his father's son, he wants to live up to his image more than anything else, he takes after him so much and people can tell. He uses his father for his own gain until the bitter end, sometimes it kills him. He loves his mother and his sister so much. He doesn't see them for the majority of the story, sometimes at a certain point it's like they're forgotten altogether. He won't think of them when he inevitably dies.

He asks himself what Light Yagami would say or do. He is Light Yagami. He asks himself what Kira would say or do. He is Kira.

He thinks everything he does through carefully and methodically, sometimes to unnecessary degrees. He is So fucking impulsive, sometimes his plans are outright clumsy.

He has a successful social life and can make just about anyone like him in just a few minutes. There is hardly a single genuine personal connection he has to another person in the series that he does not outright abandon or squander. He has everyone on his side, even if they think they're against him. In the end he realizes there is nobody left, that he is alone and all that is left is himself and his enemies.

He'll have a literal breakdown and collect himself completely within the next half a minute as if nothing happened. He compartmentalizes emotions like it's second-nature. He is losing his shit in his own head. He never stops thinking.

He acts almost disturbingly normal and polite. He acts and thinks like he does not know how to be normal, under everything he is bitter. He is the most put-together guy ever. He is an actual mess.

If you ask him if there's ever been a point where he's actually told the truth, he'll find the most roundabout way to tell you that he is "just like everyone else" in that regard. If you ask him if he has any understanding of the human heart, if he has ever experienced hunger, if he actually has interest in academics, if he knows how to love, he would tell you that he is just like anyone else. Yeah, that was all a reference, sorry. Do you think Light Yagami has ever sought friendship?

He sees himself a God. He is so, so terrified of death. He wants his life to mean something. He manages to only destroy everything and anyone his life has ever touched.

His name is spelled "moon". It's pronounced "Light". He's everything because he's at the top of the country, he's nothing because he's satisfied by none of it. He's everything because he now has everything he's ever wanted (he came across it by mistake), he's nothing because no matter what he fails and life goes on, every single time. He wants the world to know of his existence. By the time he dies most people won't even know who Light Yagami or Kira really was, what the full picture really looked like.

Every single time Light Yagami, without exception, will eventually betray himself and make the same mistake and faces the consequences and eventually die, then cease to exist. He makes mistakes, he does things that are wrong. He will almost never realize that he was wrong. He will lie to his enemies, allies, friend, family, accomplice. Does that mean he only tells the truth to himself? Well. That would have to come with the assumption that he's ever told the truth even once, from the moment he was born.

#death note #dn #light yagami #yagami light #death note analysis #sorry this is a mess i thought of this while brushing my teeth and just kinda ran with it #he is everything (/neg) he has been stuck in my head for so damn long get him out please #my ass really thought i was gonna finish my episode 25/26 thought draft but uh nuh-uh. light yagami Brain Blast. enjoy? #i genuinely feel sorry for anyone who has to read this tirade i'm like half awayke okay this is my apology for my yapping #coda analyzes stuff #light's very nature is his own downfall and this is the only way it ever will be #if he cannot make his grand mistake of his own making then he will simply be left unsatisfied and he will always want to be more #but of course we know how it turns out when he does realize that he can be more #he destroys everything around him and then himself and it's all his own action and choice. it's his own nature. this is simply How he is #this is light yagami

[transthadymacdermot]

And although that we are single & free we take great delight in our own company etc

#alternate title: pov you mentioned that you're trying to combat the wee levelling problem at the public houfe the night before but have #sadly not been keeping up with the awful insular peasant drama and therefore didn't realise that the most desperate for approval man in #existence is consequently now being told that people would really really really really like it if you met with an unfortunate end #c: eoin o'donnell #c: paul connolly #wip: tng #digital art #jory.img

[slttygeto]

HEART TO HEART : GOJO SATORU

what is heart to heart? a show in which we bring two people who have history together to ask them a couple of interesting, heartbreaking questions.

today's episode: 27 year old Gojo Satoru broke up with his girlfriend 4 years ago, yet he cannot move on. does she feel the same? and does a person really not move on even after four years?

note: i started this…without a second thought. i dont know where its going or if its gonna do well. but i enjoyed it very much

a cold room, a white set, two chairs and a table—satoru gojo knew that the point of this very simple and minimalistic set was to make him feel vulnerable and uncomfortable, but a tiny vase would’ve been appreciated.

“why did you two break up?”

the ivory haired man leans back in his chair with a dry chuckle, fingers drumming along the surface of the wooden table.

“I was insecure,” he admits rather bitterly. “I just had a lot of things to work on, and letting go of her seemed like the right thing to do.”

“do you miss her?”

“oh, absolutely,” there’s a smile on his face when he says that, and sits up straight with his hands clasped together (an indicator that he was most likely anxious to be asked such vulnerable question). he goes on to squeeze his hands a bit and his lips are sealed shut for a bit before opening them again. “I thought to myself that I wouldn’t find love for a while after her—but it’s been four years, and I cannot get myself to move on.”

“has she moved on?”

“maybe? I’m not sure,” he lets out a nervous laugh and looks away from the camera before holding his head in his hands, there was a mental battle going on inside his head—before he finally decides to speak again. “I actually stalked her instagram account last week through a mutual friend and… I didn’t see a man on any of the pictures. she could just be super private.”

“was she private about being with you?”

“she would post pictures here and there, we didn’t like to keep our relationship a secret.”

gojo is handed a blindfold and he neatly wraps it around his eyes and waits, heart thumping loudly in his chest.

when you were asked by a friend if you would do this interview, a part of you was a bit hesitant just because you weren’t sure if you wanted to air out your love life like this and have to deal with the consequences of a potential future lover being upset about it—but when you were told that it was gojo satoru, your ex-boyfriend whom you dated for 3 years and were planning on building a future with—that is until it abruptly ended with no warnings whatsoever. perhaps you ignored the tornado warnings? were there even any to begin with? you will never know because you blocked him everywhere on social media. from instagram to his phone number. you couldn’t deal with the fact that he existed around you, near you yet you couldn’t have him.

four long years of not having seen him took a toll on your heart, as it sure gets excited the moment you spot white strands on top of a head that is laid out on the table. his sense of style is still so casual and laid back, but not in a cocky way. satoru has always been about feeling comfortable in your clothes but you notice his tense shoulders and his foot tapping and can immediately tell that he is anxious.

you silently pull the chair back facing him and he lifts his head off of the table. your hands rest on top of the surface and the producer finally asks gojo to take off the blindfold.

when he does and you two lock eyes, you both start smiling big but you can’t help the little tremble to your lips before you look away from the camera to wipe a few emotional tears.

“sorry,” you whisper but your mic was able to pick it up. almost on instinct, satoru reaches towards you and squeezes your arm reassuringly.

“when was the last time you spoke to one another?”

“four years ago.” you are the one to answer the questions now and you keep avoiding satoru’s big blue eyes.

“was it hard having to walk away from a long term relationship?”

“It’s always hard when you thought there was a connection,” your emphasis on the word “thought” makes gojo look down at his lap almost in shame. he had no time to explain himself or what he did, yet he couldn’t help but feel that this interview was going to be like a second chance to explain himself and perhaps give a proper apology.

“you had no closure?”

“nope.” you both answer at the same time and it feels as though feelings of resentment are starting to resurface as your demeanor grows cold around him and you pull your hands away from the table.

“why do you think you broke up?”

“you said you couldn’t really see us together anymore,” you were now speaking to satoru directly and he gladly took the heat of your words. “you said…that us being together was just a waste of time and that one of us has to walk away,” you were clearly hurt by his words, even four years later. the breakup took a toll on you both physically and emotionally. you were incapable of going on dates for a painfully long period of time that your friends had to drag you outside to meet some potential new partners—but none of them felt like satoru. you resented him for crawling into your heart and finding a safe space there, for settling down and building a warm house inside only to tear it down and leave as quickly as he came.

“I wasn’t… sure what I wanted to do at the time, I was confused about my future,” satoru admits for the first time ever. “I thought it was so unfair to drag you down that hole with me when it was so clear to you that you had a plan in mind—a secure one so I just-“

“left.” you finish the sentence for him and he lets out a pained laugh.

“yeah, I left. and when I realized that you had blocked me, I knew that there was no going back and that I actually did it. yknow, like, it wasn’t this bad dream where I would wake up and you were still beside me—you were actually gone, I made you leave.”

there was a long silence after this and you couldn’t bring yourself to look at him, not after that confession.

“did you miss me?” gojo takes the initiative to ask this question instead of the producer but they don’t complain, watching carefully as you look back at your ex partner.

“I did,” you say again in a whisper, almost scared that you coming to terms with this horrible realization was going to hurt you further.

“do you think that…we could’ve worked out had I been honest at the time?”

“satoru, I would’ve never left you as easily as you did,” you knew that it wasn’t easy for him, but you want him to know that your love for him was bigger than he ever thought.

“would you like to try again?”

you two stare at each other for a bit and you sneak your hand towards his huge palm, resting your index finger there and tracing soft circles.

“yeah… I want to. do you?” you look up at him through your eyelashes and gojo’s heart feels as though it is about to burst.

“I would love to.”

2023: all works belong to @ slttygeto. do not repost my works on any other platofrm.

—💭 if you like this, leave me a tip!

#moon's works #jujutsu kaisen #gojo satoru #gojo satoru x reader #gojo x reader #jjk gojo #jjk gojo satoru #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen gojo

[wttcsms]

DRUNKEN CONFESSIONS WITH HIGURUMA PLEASE AND THANK YOU! (and maybe some nsfw if you're up to it?)

a rendering of regret, hiromi higuruma ;

pairing hiromi higuruma x f!reader word count 4.1k synopsis like everyone else who suffers from early onset midlife crisis syndrome, hiromi discovers two important things: he wishes he could fix things between you two and YOLO. like any other man with nothing to lose, he finds himself leaving the city and going back to his hometown, ready to be back in your good graces. content contains drinking, small town that sucks the life out of you but is home as the setting, being disappointed that growing up does not, in fact, solve all your problems, hiromi's mother is heavily implied to have committed su*cide, smut (riding hiromi, creampie, drunk sex)

Returning back to his hometown shouldn’t be as shameful of an ordeal as he makes it out to be, but the thing is, when you make a big show out of outgrowing small-town life, only to come back when it turns out the Real World sucks the soul out of you, it all becomes startlingly clear that you were never supposed to make it out in the first place. Becoming a hotshot attorney in Tokyo quickly disillusions any and all grandeur of being special and adulthood for Hiromi Higuruma, resident prodigy. 

It turns out that city living is even worse than a quaint little town because, while there’s really nothing to do back home, there is entirely too much going on in Tokyo. The subway is always crowded and reeks of B.O., cheap perfume, overpowering cologne, and crushed dreams. There is never not a case that needs his immediate attention. With so many people existing all in the same place, at the same time, it somehow becomes increasingly harder to form real, human connections. 

He knows that his mental break was long overdue, and honestly, he’s just shocked that his snapping hadn’t occurred sooner. Innocent people get tried for crimes on a daily basis; he knows this. He goes into this job knowing this, and witnesses it firsthand. It shouldn’t hit him so hard, but you told him, once upon a time, that at his core, he’s a good person. Hiromi Higuruma doesn’t think that a good person would punch both the prosecutor and the judge, but it certainly made him feel good. 

The justice system is a sham, and growing up sucks. Hiromi thinks that for someone who popped out his mother’s womb a full-blown genius, he was a bit slow on the uptake when it came to realizing these two monumental truths. He decides not to waste any more time on trying to tackle the world’s problems on how he used to do, which is rationally and with a clear-head. Lately, Hiromi’s just been letting the intrusive thoughts win more often than not. He’s certainly not punching judges in the courtroom, but he tests out new experiences when he’s feeling particularly adventurous.

Adulthood is all about being able to take a bath in your suit and tie, and no one can give you shit about it besides yourself. There are absolutely no consequences to doing this, and Hiromi thinks people should advertise adulthood as getting to do batshit crazy things to yourself without fear of a scolding. That is much more realistic and sounds much more promising than bullshit like you’re going to change the world. The world sucks. Everybody sucks. Tokyo sucks. His hometown sucks. He sucks.

Perhaps the only good thing to come out of this life is you. You, Hiromi thinks, are the only person in the world who he can never look at differently. 

Hiromi realizes too late that when you spend your whole life running from something, it eventually catches up to you, and it usually does whenever you’re out of breath and decidedly not prepared for life and past regrets to start pummeling you into the gravel. Hiromi has spent literal years avoiding any trace of you, and now he’s back home, probably worse off than he was when he originally decided to ditch this place, and his biggest past regret is standing in the staff lounge, making coffee from the communal coffee machine.

A shame, really. It’s almost embarrassing to be a grown man who gets literal heart eyes whenever he sees you. It’s doubly embarrassing whenever he realizes it’s been a decade since he’s last seen you, and that somehow, you still manage to make his heart get all hyperactive on him. 

“Hi, stranger,” you say, pretending like the fucking ghost of Christmas Past isn’t standing in the staff lounge of the community college you work at. 

“Hi,” he says, because for all his booksmarts, he can’t seem to come up with anything better. When he first skipped town, not even bothering to walk the stage for graduation, there had been a lot left unsaid between the two of you. Bringing up the past now, dredging up buried memories, seems like a bad idea. 

“You must be the new law instructor.” 

“Yes.” Apparently, as eloquent as he can be when it comes to defending his clients, he sure as shit is awful when it comes to saying the right thing to you. Then again, there are no instruction manuals to reference when it comes to facing your ex-girlfriend from high school who you never actually properly broken up with, just ghosted. 

You stare at him, study him for just a second. Take in his tired appearance. The circles under his eyes. An apathetic expression you aren’t quite used to. Strands of hair still stick up a bit in the back of his head and a few more hang in his face — that, at least, is one thing that hasn’t changed. 

“Good for you.” You tell him, and you leave it at that.

Hiromi Higuruma returning back to this shithole is certainly not on your bingo card on situations you thought would occur this year. Growing up, you were convinced more than anybody that Hiromi didn’t belong here. Not because of his appearance or the fact that his household was infamous for being a loveless, lifeless shell of a home and family, but because if anybody was destined for bigger and better things in life, it certainly would be Hiromi. 

He’s always been smart, to the point where the teachers would practically give him free rein to do whatever he wanted to during class because he already studied the material beforehand. Usually, he just spent this time helping you with your assignments. You remember making a comment to him in high school one time. 

“I’m holding you back, aren’t I?” You poke the book he’s ignoring in favor of helping you edit your essay for English Lit. 

“No,” he says, eyes glued to your paper. He’s erasing something. 

“Sure I am. You could be doing anything else besides editing my paper.” 

“I don’t mind.”

“Well, I do.” 

“You shouldn’t.” He’s rewriting a sentence for you. “There’s nothing I’d rather be doing.” 

“You should stop helping me, Higuruma.” 

He finally looks up from the paper. “What?”

“You should stop helping me.” You yank back your essay, unceremoniously shoving it into your bookbag. “It’s bad for me in the long run.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I’ll just keep on depending on you, and then what am I gonna do when you leave?” 

You mention this hypothetical as if it’s a fact. As if he is one hundred percent going to ditch this town and everybody in it. At the time you’re saying this, he doesn’t even know he’s going to leave yet.

“What makes you think I’m leaving?”

“You’ll die if you stay here.” Looking back, it’s comical how teenagers have a bad habit of voicing assumptions and then presenting them as fact. Hiromi Higuruma is the type of guy who cares so damn much about people and the state of the world, no matter where he goes, death’s going to follow. Caring is killer. 

“Even if I do leave, I’d want you to come with me.” He doesn’t know why he says this, but he knows that it’s the truth. If you want to stay here, that’s the only reason he needs to stay. If you want to go, he’ll have his bags packed. 

You search his eyes, looking for a possibility that he’s just saying stuff to appease you. Apparently, you find the sincerity you’re looking for because you give him a bright smile, hands already digging in your bookbag in search of your now-crumbled up essay. 

“Pinky promise?” 

“Pinky promise.” 

He seals the deal by interlocking his pinky with yours. This is a sacred act. You made it a strict rule in your friendship, and Hiromi is a stickler for rules. You can’t break a pinky promise; it’s the type of vow that transcends legality. To break a pinky promise would be to break off your friendship, make it null and void. So, when the time to walk the stage and receive your diploma in front of the town comes, you’re confused as to why Hiromi isn’t there. He’s not home, either. 

Hiromi left, his dad tells you. He looks like Hiromi, but since that’s his father, it’s the other way around. The only difference, besides the fact that he is a grown-up, is that Mr. Higuruma has what you call dead eyes. Lifeless. Like, he’s looking, but he’s not really seeing what’s there. He talks funny, too. All flat and emotionless, like he’s perpetually unbothered. You can’t even tell how he feels about his son’s departure, or the fact that there’s a teenage girl on his doorstep at seven in the evening, still wearing your cap and gown. 

“Do you know where to?” You ask Mr. Higuruma, still hopeful, still feeling the ghost of his pinky twisted around yours.

“Tokyo.” 

That checks out. You always knew Hiromi was meant for something more. 

“I’m shocked he’s not put behind bars,” Yuki tells you, wiping down the bar counter. “Didn’t you hear what went down in the courtroom with him and that judge?”

It had made the news. You normally don’t care to tune in, but it was something that concerned Hiromi. Of course you heard all about it. 

“I just don’t know what he’s doing back here.” 

“This place is a dump. ‘Course someone down on their luck is gonna come slinking back in here.” 

“Yuki…” You look at your best friend. “Didn’t you technically come back, too?”

“Well I never said I wasn’t down on my luck, now did I?” You can’t imagine someone like Yuki having to come back home with her tail tucked in between her legs. Yuki is the opposite of a loser; while the world beats people to a pulp, Yuki curbstomps the world. If Tokyo managed to send Yuki and Hiromi packing their bags, you don’t want to leave your hometown. Ever.

You meet Hiromi in grade school. Your town is too small to actually have its own public school, and so all the kids from home walk the two miles to the designated bus stop where this ugly, wretched faded yellow deathtrap on wheels comes squeaking and squealing to pick you up and take you all to the nearest city’s school.

Everyone knows that you all are the students from the rinky-dink town that’s such a shithole that it can’t even produce its own school. Finding work in that town is hard enough as it is, but you grow up used to being surrounded by your other financial equals. It’s hard to find your footing amongst a crowd of kids who get new shoes every school year and can afford the fancy crayons. You know, the ones that aren’t just glorified lumps of colored wax that would probably work better as candles instead of cheap art supplies. 

Hiromi gets most of the city students’ attention, though. It’s not as if it’s a surprise to you that they like to pick on him for his nose — it’s like the joke’s practically staring them right in the face. 

You are surprised, though, that he takes it so hard. He’s sitting alone at the front of the bus, staring out the window, and you think you catch a tear running down his cheek. 

You know that Hiromi is always early to a fault; he waits outside for the bus a good thirty minutes before it’s even scheduled to show up, just to ensure that he won’t miss it. You have to get up extra early as a result because you think it would be better to try to make friends with Hiromi without an audience. 

Before you can lose all confidence in yourself, you go for it. You take one grubby little hand of yours and swipe awfully close to his face, nearly hitting his nose in the process.

“Got your nose!” You wave your hand in the air, smile slowly falling when you realize that he doesn’t look amused. “Sorry. I was trying to help.”

“How was that supposed to help?” He doesn’t sound mean when he says it. He sounds curious, like he’s genuinely trying to hear you out. You will soon learn that that is the type of person Hiromi is. He might be the only person in the world who doesn’t judge someone within the first five seconds of meeting them. 

“Y’know, so when the other kids in school make fun of your nose, you know they’re lying.”

“How would they be lying?” 

“‘Cause I got your nose. How are they making fun of something they can’t see?”

Logically, young Hiromi knows that this is not the case. His big, fat nose is still smack dab in the center of his face, and the “nose” you captured is just your tiny thumb tucked under your fingers. Logical thinking is no fun, though, so Hiromi goes with it, and the two of you have been inseparable ever since.

Hiromi Higuruma has a lot of regrets, actually. In his mental tier list, the bottom of the barrel shit is made up of petty things, like not punching his grade school bullies in the face for being little assholes, or not trying Kitakata ramen when he had the chance. Then, there’s the stuff just a level above, which is less-silly things, like how he regrets the way he handled certain cases and the fact that in his haste to return home, he didn’t pack a pair of comfortable house slippers, and the ones he bought at the only convenience store in town feel too stiff. 

At the very top, his biggest regrets are all centered around you. This isn’t to say that he regrets you, but he does know that his treatment of you haunts him during the nights he lies awake in bed and wonders why the fuck life sucks so hard. He hates that he didn’t admit to you that he liked you sooner, that he wasted so many of his high school days awkwardly trying to hide the fact that he’s hopelessly devoted to you. He hates that he didn’t get a chance to take you to prom. He hates that he didn’t tell you that he was leaving, that he didn’t think to bring you with him, that he never called or texted after he left because he was too embarrassed and scared at the prospect of you not wanting to hear from him after how he left without a trace. He regrets not telling you why he left, that he caught his father and his mistress together, and how disgusted he felt at seeing such a sight. That the next day, he vowed to tell his mother, only to knock on her bedroom door (it’s no surprise that his parents never shared the same bed for as long as Hiromi could remember), and when she didn’t answer, he opened the door, only to be greeted by her still body in bed, three empty orange pill bottles on the nightstand. 

He couldn’t have stayed, and he was rendered speechless. Final transcripts had already been released, and walking for graduation was optional. Hiromi took whatever meager savings he had, clicked “accept” for his college admission to Tokyo U (full-ride, because if anyone was going to get a scholarship based on academic merit, it would be Hiromi), and skipped town. Everything in the world to him appeared to be in shades of black and white, the occasional bright orange catching his eye, haunting him, taunting him. 

Life is too short, though. Too short to waste time in bed, in an apartment he hates located in a city he despises, to look back at all his shortcomings. If he could go back in time and do things differently, he would. He wouldn’t have punched that judge or the prosecutor (even if they totally did deserve it), and he wouldn’t have kept his acceptance into Tokyo U a secret from you. He would have taken you to prom, and he would’ve asked you to come with him to Tokyo, escape this dump of a town and take on the big city together. He thinks he probably would have hated Tokyo less if you were with him, you and your nonsensical logic that makes the worst things to ever happen to him suddenly seem bearable. 

He should tell you all of this, but he’s drunk because Yuki is manning the bar, and she pours with a heavy hand. He never really spoke to the blonde despite the fact that they grew up down the street from each other, attended school at the exact same time, same grade, same everything. The downside of living here, it seems, is that everyone you’ve ever known is entirely unavoidable. You run into them everywhere. You want to drown your sorrows in amber liquid served in questionable, grimy glassware, and the person aiding in your slow death is the very girl who used to wake you up in the middle of the night due to the sound of her revving up her obnoxiously loud and ancient (she claims vintage) motorcycle that she bought for cheap at a junkyard. 

The upside of living here, it seems, is that since everyone is unavoidable, you are running into him here. 

You take a seat to his left, conveniently leaving one barstool between the two of you. Yuki is joking around with you, saying something that makes you laugh, and the urge to do something very stupid builds up in Hiromi. He’s been totally chill with the whole “letting the intrusive thoughts win” routine, but he wants to handle his relationship with you with a delicate hand.

“Can I buy you a drink?” He asks you, hoping that his words don’t come out slurred. 

“I’d normally say yes, but Yuki gives me my drinks on the house.” 

Yuki yanks back the drink she made you. “If Ace Attorney over here wants to pay for your drink, you’re getting charged, hon. Sorry. Girl’s gotta make a living.” 

Conversation with Hiromi comes naturally to you. Everything you do with Hiromi comes naturally. The alcohol helps warm you right back up to him, dormant feelings now coming back to life. You think you’re too old to have butterflies in your tummy when you make tequila-induced attempts at flirting with him (at least, you think you’re flirting; it’s been a while since you actually tried). You think that you definitely don’t give a shit whenever he plays along, because that’s just what he does, what he always has been doing. 

When he left, everyone in town was under the impression that Hiromi had been stringing you along. The fact of the matter is, you have Hiromi wrapped around your finger to the point where he doesn’t think he could ever get unstuck. 

Everything you do with Hiromi comes naturally, and it’s only natural to have him walk you back to your apartment. It’s only natural that you invite him inside to “catch up” some more, and it’s only natural that “catching up” involves you grinding on his lap, sinking his body deeper into the pink loveseat in your living room. 

Your dress is tugged up to your waist because easy access means you don’t have to get naked to get dicked down. Hiromi’s suit pants are admittedly not made for quick fucks, but if there’s a will, there’s a way. His pants are unzipped, briefs adjusted enough so that his dick can unceremoniously be freed from its confines and make its way to where it truly belongs, which is buried deep inside the warmth of your cunt. 

Hiromi finds pleasure in the discomfort of it all. If he was doing this with anyone else, he’d be hyper aware of the stiffness of his dry cleaned suit, and how the loveseat seems to protest with the combined weight of you two rocking back and forth on top of it. He’d be too irritated with the way sex would wrinkle his clothes, and he probably wouldn’t even be this hard because he drinks so he has a valid excuse for never taking a woman home with him. 

Because it’s you, everything is felt to the extreme, but you have this way, this charm, this spell, that makes everything that happens to Hiromi better. The best. You are the best he’s ever had, and he thinks he grunts this into your ear as you rest your body against his, upper body limp and boneless, your lower half moving up and down, trying to get a good angle so his cock can hit right there.

He kisses your shoulder, and he experimentally thrusts up, and you let out a string of moans that are interspersed with little breathy fuck’s, and he thinks this might be one of his most favorite sounds in the whole entire world. So he keeps thrusting, keeps relishing in the way your walls seem to clamp down on him, keeps enjoying the way you hang onto him and whimper out his name. 

He is drunk, and he is in love, and he knows that he didn’t come here with the intention of fucking you boneless, but you don’t seem to mind, didn’t seem to mind when you kissed him first and started grinding on him, the catalyst to the situation he’s in now. 

He planned on telling you the truth, the story about why he left, about how he feels stupid on how he handled the whole situation. The bourbon he downed earlier this night seems to be affecting his brain, though, because all he knows is that there is only one confession he is capable of giving to you right now.

“I love you.” He groans, his hands finding your waist, gripping hard. “Fuck, I love you. Never stopped.” 

His cock feels too good when it's buried deep inside of you. You know it’s silly and stupid, but you want to tell Hiromi that you want him to fuck himself so deep that he can touch your heart with his dick. No other man would want to hear some creep shit like that, but Hiromi is Hiromi. He would get it. You drunkenly tell him your wish, and he lets out a little breathy laugh, rolls his hips, and rocks your world. 

“I’ll give it my best shot.” He says, and because the alcohol tells him that his sobriety makes him a bitch, he reminds you once more. “I love you.” 

You cum. The sex is drunken and messy, and while drunk sex usually happens in a blurry haze for you, you are seeing everything clearly. You can see the crease in between his brows as he concentrates on maintaining the perfect balance between relishing in your wetness and not overstimulating you. You can see the way his eyes greedily, lovingly, admire the messy sight of your joined bodies. You can see his nose, tall and as noticeable as ever, and so Hiromi. 

You want to tell him that you love his nose, but speaking is hard when he dicks you down like this. All you can do is press a kiss to the tip of it. This only makes him tighten his grip on your waist, his thrusts getting more erratic, and then you feel a nice warmth flooding inside of you. The two of you are rational adults, and rational adults know that cumming inside should be a no-no between two people who have yet to establish what the fuck you are to each other. 

“I love your nose.” You tell him, when you finally manage to catch your breath. He’s still buried inside of you, and you’re afraid that when he does eventually have to pull you off of him, everything’s going to come spilling out of you. The thought of separating from Hiromi makes you frown. You just got him back. 

“I love you.” He says back, for the nth time this night. Maybe he’s making up for lost time. Maybe he’s just drunk. You don’t care. Hiromi is back, and even if he leaves again, you’re happy that he’s at least here with you right now. 

“You’re drunk.” 

“If I tell you when I’m sober, will you believe me?” 

He’ll sober up tomorrow. If he tells you when he’s sober, that means he’ll have to stay. He won’t go. 

“Yes.” You say, trying not to reveal the fact that you already believe him. Hiromi is not as impassive as he thinks he is. “Pinky promise.” 

You feel the familiar warmth of his finger twisting ‘round yours. 

“Pinky promise.”

#hiromi higuruma x reader #higuruma x reader #jjk x reader #smut #one shot #drabble #jjk fanfiction #jjk smut #hiromi higuruma smut

[islandofsages]

Hey ! Can I ask for the Diasomnia boys reacting to a male!Ignihyde!reader who join the gargoyle club (idk if it's name) ?

Like, the reader is really just interest in the gargoyles, and isn't scare of Malleus (or anyone, really. Man is too tired for being scare.)

Ignore it if you don't want to write it.

Have a good day/night ! And happy new year too.

characters: diasomnia boys x male ignihyde reader

tags: platonic, canon compliant, fluff, imagines + scenario format; mentions of malleus in literally everything, lilia being a dad

warnings: none

author's notes: reader is so idgaf energy i love it. also i just remembered the small font feature exists LMAO do tell me if it's too small, i'll change it back to the original size!! if not, i'll change my previous posts to the smaller font. also you have a good day/night too anon ! and happy new year :D

Malleus Draconia

Oh? You want to join the Gargoyle Studies Club? You’re being serious? Oh!

Words cannot describe how happy he is about a fellow gargoyle appreciator though his expression doesn’t really show that

And to think you see him as just another dude… such honor was bestowed upon him…!

He’ll excitedly bring you to every gargoyle he’s found on campus and infodump about them - and you’d write them down somewhere if you’re in the mood

Sometimes you’d find new gargoyles and bring him to them and you start to do likewise

Even outside of club activities you two geek out about gargoyles at times which has earned you two the title of nerds

“Have I told you about the time I’ve met talking gargoyles? I never thought I would see such a day…”

Gargoyles aside, he has times where he confides his personal daily life in you and in turn, he’ll ask you what’s it like being in Ignihyde, etc

After being around each other so much, it feels weird when you guys aren’t together - some people would ask where Malleus is whenever you’re on your own, and vice versa

People found it weird how close an Ignihyde student is to someone from a different dorm too and you’re not sure if you should be flattered or not

But in a sense, Malleus really is your other nerdy half.

Sebek Zigvolt

You?????? Join the club where Malleus is president and is the only member of?????????

“WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU’RE WORTHY OF JOINING SUCH A CLUB?”

Well, for one, the fact that you’re unfazed by his constant yelling and therefore probably too tired to be fazed by anything, consequently making you the perfect companion to Malleus because you wouldn’t react inappropriately to Malleus’ conduct

And that you actually are interested in gargoyles. That too. You tell all this to him

He clutches his head with one hand, debating your logic. You don’t know how and why but he accepts your argument

That doesn’t stop him from monitoring you two’s activities from afar but, again, you couldn’t care less. A sixteen year old’s fanatics is just part of the growing process

Outside of club activities, he interrogates you on what you’ve discussed with Malleus and you just tell him the truth: gargoyles

At some point, he gets so engrossed in your infodump about gargoyles his eyes shine with a new light

Of course, he mentions something about Malleus obviously liking something so interesting and befitting of his status - but he also thanks you for enlightening him on the topic and that he’ll go to you for more information if need be

You’ve converted him. You sometimes see him clutching a book about gargoyles around the school. It’s filled with notes sticking out of the pages. And a portion of that sometimes he’ll run to you to confirm about a fact or two

Maybe it’s safe to say you two are kind of friends now.

Silver

He doesn’t think too much of it other than being glad that Malleus finally has a fellow gargoyle fan he can geek out with

He’d see you and Malleus chatting it up around campus and he can’t stop the tender smile on his face from making an appearance

Sometimes he himself will try to strike up a conversation with you and gargoyle geek aside, he finds that you’re just a pleasant person to talk to and be around

He admits he’s not too close with any of the folks from Ignihyde aside for the Shroud brothers but you brush him off by saying that nobody is really

He also admires how you don’t really let anything get to you. Again, you shrug it off by half-joking that you’re too tired to be scared by anything at this point

He somewhat empathizes with you on that point, grieving over his narcoleptic tendencies with a heavy sigh

You try your best to cheer him up or if you have experience with such things, you give him advice on how to manage it

You then jest that he can tag along with you and Malleus’ club activities whenever he’s free if he wants. The more, the merrier, right?

He ponders it for a minute and nods. You didn’t think he’d actually accept the offer

“I don’t see a reason to refuse. Sebek and I have accompanied Malleus on his trips before. I’m sure this time around will be more fun with you here.”

And so you all do. You all have a royal time together - and the joy on Silver’s face is especially princely.

Lilia Vanrouge

He sheds (crocodile) tears at the thought of Malleus finally having an additional member in his one-man club more friends

Since you’re chill about it, he is too! As long as you get along with Malleus, everything will be fine and dandy

If anything, he’s a bit impressed by how it takes more than the average amount to gain a reaction out of you 

…and a bit concerned. Are you sure you’re getting enough nutrients? His paternal instincts kick in when you tell him you’re too tired to have a reaction to anything

He knows that Ignihyde students are mostly shut-ins but he still advises you and makes sure you get a balanced diet

It’s like he’s adopted yet another son

“Oh, (Y/N), you really ought to take care of yourself more.”

You grow a bit annoyed at him sometimes but you know his intentions are good so you don’t protest

You do feel very loved though. You didn’t expect this much from just joining a club for a topic you’re genuinely interested in

But you have to admit it is kind of hard to come by people who aren’t intimidated by the Malleus Draconia, even if you don’t see it as anything special

What’s special, though, is the affection Lilia holds for you.

#writing #twst #twisted wonderland #twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #platonic twst x reader #platonic twisted wonderland x reader #twst x m!reader #twisted wonderland x m!reader #twst x male reader #twisted wonderland x male reader #malleus draconia #malleus draconia x reader #malleus x reader #malleus draconia x male reader #sebek zigvolt #sebek zigvolt x reader #sebek zigvolt x male reader #sebek x reader #silver twst #twst silver #silver x reader #silver x male reader #lilia vanrouge #lilia vanrouge x reader #lilia x reader #diasomnia

[villainsandvictimsalliance]

The appeal of a villain friend in fiction is more often than not the thought that someone out there would choose you over the entire world.

The members of the League of Villains were anyone's priority. They felt replaceable or even worse, they knew they were replaceable. They weren't pretty enough, strong enough, normal enough, cool enough. They were wrong in the head, were too violent, too weird, too creepy.

All the rage? The hurt? They were told to swallow it because it was making people uncomfortable.

Stain was their inspiration, but he wasn't the one to pick them. He wasn't the one who looked at them and told them "you have a place". That was Giran. The manga tells us that Giran was putting together a sort of friendship group for violent outcasts like them. That he formed the League for them to have company, a reason to fight for, to exist.

There's a sort of catharsis that fictional villain friendships give that you can't find somewhere else. A sort of short-lived relief that comes when someone sees you being mistreated and decides retribution is needed. Wouldn't it be wonderful if revenge had no consequences and the damage it caused was at once lasting and non-existent?

That's what fiction is for. You put all your feelings there and create scenarios where you purge those feelings. No one gets harmed and you come out of it cleaned, renewed, with a clear head.

So when Tomura Shigaraki creates the League of Villains, it is an instant click for people who had been wronged and are seeking catharsis of their negative experiences and feelings.

The League of Villains punishes someone with torture and failure for misgendering and hurting their trans friend. A shonen manga does that, a gender where nonconforming people are a joke by tradition. Do you get what that means to some readers out there?

Tomura claims to hate everything and everyone, but when Toga asks him, he admits that they are his exception. He wouldn't destroy something they loved. His prioritizing their wishes and their likings. There was no one else above them for him and no one was as important to him as they were.

Suddenly, they are someone's number one people and not out of manipulation. They recognize in Tomura a man who really cares.

Tomura was shown to live in total neglect. He had poor hygiene, was isolated almost completely from the outside world, talked with maybe three or four people tops, ate whatever, liver whatever. He didn't care about his living conditions. It was only when the League asked for clothing and food and other stuff that he began to care. For them.

He wants them to live, to succeed, he wants to hurt anyone who hurts them, to protect what is precious to them.

And now we got confirmation that they matter more to him than his own past.

Tomura would destroy the world simply because they asked him to, because they promised to. He would destroy himself trying because he must be their hero. Remember how every time a villain would question him about his motivation or his ideals, he would talk about his hatred or his need to destroy. We've gone past it and at his very core we found that the thing that truly fuels him is the desire to be a hero.

For them.

It's really something to see people wondering why a reader would be fond of Tomura Shigaraki or the LOV in general. Is it that hard to understand?

Again, that's the appeal of a fictional villain's friendship to real life victims:

To be important, to be picked, to be prioritized, to be felt, to be seen, to be understood, to belong to and be considered, to be irreplaceable. To be all those things to the point the weight of it shatters the universe.

So much love outplacement in someone's love— to matter so much to someone —that to see you hurt would make them want to destroy the world.

#bnha #mha #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #league of villains #lov #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha 418 #mha 418 #bnha leaks #mha leaks #shigaraki tomura #tenko shimura

[alphacentaurinebula]

I Forgive You: Queerness in Oppressive Systems

"How much trouble can I get into just for asking a few questions?"

There are a million ways to read Aziraphale's and Crowley's relationship and choices and I love them all, but one that struck me forcefully was the idea of different reactions to being queer in an oppressive (religious) system.  The two of them are such different people (not people) from the start, and their different experiences of Heaven and Hell are entirely the consequences of their different personalities.

First let's look at Crowley. A happier angel you never did meet. His joy and absolute adorableness in Before the Beginning was one of the sweetest moment in the whole season for me, out of so many sweet moments. He is utterly himself, and can't imagine the idea that he should hide any part of his identity. He is odd, unusual, asks damn fool questions - and he can't see what's wrong with that. Just like a queer kid who grows up in a religious system and  behaves outside of gender norms before realising that was something they weren't supposed to do, he can't imagine getting into trouble for his difference. And just like too many queer kids who can't/don't hide their difference, he gets kicked out of his home and abandoned.

Now, Aziraphale. He is a lot closer to Angel Behaviour TM, but it's clear that's because he understands there IS an expected behaviour, there IS a way he's supposed to act and think. He falls for Crowley, and is made to think about the questions Crowley is asking in a way that steps outside Angel Behaviour TM. But he instinctively understands how dangerous that is. He tries to pass that knowledge onto Crowley, to protect him. As he smushes himself into the Angel box, he ties himself into knots ensuring that he fits perfectly into the system around him, which he has identified as Good and Right and therefore anything different about himself would be Bad and Wrong. Much like a queer person trying to exist under an oppressive religious system, he has repressed those parts of himself that don't fit, and tried to sand off the corners and fit himself into the prescribed shape. 

Carrying this analogy through time, the Crowley we meet in the present day has already been abandoned, which allows him to see the system that left him more clearly. But he has never understood Aziraphale's perspective, because he never tried to change who he was for any system - not Heaven and not Hell. Though he does now understand that he has to hide certain parts of himself to survive - thus his constant refrain of “I’m not kind”. Clearly a necessary concealment, given what happens at the end of the Edinburgh minisode.

Throughout most of the flashbacks and even most of season 1, Aziraphale is still trying to smush himself into the shape of an Angel TM, and is terrified of stepping outside of it. He does learn that he can push the borders, that he can maybe stick a toe out here and there, that he can even fully step outside it for a moment as long as he doesn’t get caught (ie Job). But what he never really learns or at least never really believes, despite a mountain of evidence, is that Heaven is not synonymous with Good and Right. 

We can see it with Job, where Aziraphale is jumping through a million mental hoops to pretend to himself he is still doing the will of God even though he has been expressly told and seen evidence that God’s actual will is something Aziraphale would consider ‘wrong’. In Edinburgh he drops a heck of a lot of "ineffable"s trying to convince himself and Crowley that the heavenly system as it exists is just and right. 

And throughout season 2 but especially at the end, he clearly still feels that some Angels might not be Right and Good, but Heaven is Right and Good, and if only the right Angel is in charge of it, it can return to its core essence.

He still believes that Heaven is inherently Good, and so he is still trying to fit himself into a system that would reject him if it really knew him.

And all that is where “I forgive you” comes from for me - or at least that is one of the interpretations that makes sense to me. That basically because he's still so determined to fit into that Angel Shape TM, still so determined to be what Heaven says is right, that he is forgiving Crowley for challenging that, for making him want something else for a moment, for making it harder for him to repress those parts of himself that are different and, in his/Heaven's view, wrong.

And that is why Season 3 must end with Aziraphale realising that Heaven is not Good TM and with the takedown of the Celestial system itself. Yes apparently I end all of my metas with this now.

#I am not a fan of religion perhaps you can tell #good omens meta #good omens #good omens 2 #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #crowley #aziraphale #ineffable idiots

[rainbow-femme]

Rewatching the animated Beauty and the Beast

-Right off the bat the thing in the opening that gets me is not the possible age implication but the fact that this prince is opening his own doors and to people he’s not expecting. You’re lucky it was just an enchantress looking to test the purity of your heart and not an assassin. Just power posing with the door fully open, no guards, going “Oh hey it’s someone I don’t know! I’m going to have a conversation with them alone” before god and everybody. Of course you got cursed, your guards should have rugby tackled her before she could get her wand out

-I never liked Maurice as a kid and I still don’t. Like he’s not bad he’s just annoying to me every time he’s on screen. The wind blows and he’s dying on the side of a cliff somewhere

-It is never not funny to me that Belle promises to stay in the castle forever and then just leaves three hours later

-I love Gaston having his whole “I’m going to get Belle’s father locked up so she marries me” scheme and then she’s fully just not remotely near the town. He’s living in a high stakes drama and she’s clapping along to dancing tea cups

-Hey when Maurice goes to look for Belle he grabs a bunch of rolled up pieces of paper and protractor. Is the idea that he’s just gonna invent and build something while actively walking? Sir you spent 6 hours in a dungeon and nearly died of being in a dungeon disease, you can’t help yourself out of a wet paper bag much less get your daughter out of anywhere with an invention you made out of rocks and sticks while clawing your way through the woods because you’re dying again

-But it is funny to imagine this revolving door of Maurice and Belle trading themselves for the other until the beast is just like “hey if I let you both leave will you promise to never come back”

-Belle is such a dick at the beginning it’s so funny. “Oh there’s one place in this giant castle I can’t go? I bet he’s hiding all the really cool stuff in there and I’m going to ignore his wishes and that of the staff. Oh no, consequences, the guy who said not to come here is upset I came here! Who could have foreseen this!”

-Like it’s not bad writing, it’s her character arc that she was mainly focused on herself and her interests and pretty judgemental of people who weren’t like her, so her disrespecting someone’s boundaries because she want to sets up something she grows from, and she learns to connect with someone else on their level even if that person is different from her and she learns that people are more than their surface appearance and even an angry beast has depths if you actually get to know them and see their view of the world, and connecting with people who are different from you enriches your life. Which is why when the townsfolk later try to kill the beast because he’s different we see she’s now understood the danger of that way of thinking and is horrified

-But that’s such a funny thing to do just immediately upon entering a castle owned by a big scary beast. Day one hour one she’s like “oh boy I know where I wanna go!”

-I don’t want to be a CinemaSins and point out how improbable it is that Belle got a giant unconscious beast onto her horse when he would be hundreds of pounds. But I do want to see the scene of her doing it. I’m picturing the horse sorta laying down and the beast is on the ground like a sack of potatoes and Belle has her back against him and is pushing with her legs to try and roll him over. Or she’s got her shoulder against him and is trying to push that way but her feet keep slipping in the snow

-Oh my god I forgot they told her about the library before the beast “gives” it to her. She was already allowed to go in there and knew it existed, “giving” someone a room they had full knowledge of and access to is very funny

-But you know what if he’s the kind of guy who thinks that will work and she’s the kind of girl it works on then they’re perfect for each other. Just two people with zero social skills bumbling around a castle together, making weird decisions and the other is like “wow they’re so cute and normal”

-I love the sweeping faux crane shot during the ballroom dance. Over 30 years later and that shit still slaps, more animated movies need to act like they’re being shot and edited like live action

-Maurice really can find a way to immediately die in any situation. When he’s at home he’s fine but the second he leaves the town border he develops tuberculosis and begins losing all function in his limbs

-I’m going to be honest with you guys, I’ve seen various versions of Beauty and the Beast and every time it’s the letting Belle go scene I have the same thought: I absolutely would not have read that social interaction correctly, I would have been fully under the impression we were all aware I was running an errand and coming back later. Because if I’m Belle, and I can live in the cool castle with a friend and people who are nice to me or a town I specifically stated not liking filled with a guy who is pushy and makes me uncomfortable and people who are mean to me and zero friends, I would not have been like “oh thank god I can finally go back!”

-“You should go to him. I release you, you are no longer my prisoner” See to me that reads “We are friends and I am removing this technicality between us so you can go run out and do something that is clearly important to you.” I would not have picked up on everyone in the castle thinking I was leaving forever. I’d just show up two hours later like “boy, it’s been a day, huh?” and the beast is just laying face down on the floor in his room listening to a sad boy playlist

-But the beast is clearly part dog so I guess it’s a normal reaction for him to have

-I don’t want to victim blame, but if you have a sick dad and are equidistant between “castle where everyone likes you” and “town where everyone is mean to you” and your dying father can be cured by a nap, I feel like it’s a bit on you if bad things continue to happen in the Bad Things Happen To Me town

-Not saying she should have anticipated a mob coming to incarcerate her father but I do feel like it would be expected that the people who have been mean to you and your dad would continue to be mean to you and your dad in the Everyone Is Mean To You and Your Dad town

-Because if the forced incarceration hadn’t been an issue, they would have gone to town the next day and someone would go “Hey Belle, your dad said you were kidnapped by a beast.” And everyone would point and laugh and he’d start waving his arms and going “It was the biggest beast you ever saw! 18 feet tall and claws bigger than my head!” and people would probably suggest that the guy they all call Crazy Old Maurice may be crazy and Belle would need to prove he wasn’t. I just don’t think we would have ended up with much of a different situation in any timeline that involves going back to the town

-Ok. So. If I live in a town. And I find out there is a beast within walking distance that is sentient enough to take villagers prisoner. And this guy is like “yeah he took me and my daughter prisoner, he’s terrifying!” I’m not saying I would have been part of the mob but I do think I would be worried about there being a beast and two people he previously kept prisoner living next door. And her saying “no he’s actually very sweet” would sound like those people with exotic pets who get their faces eaten by their pet tiger. Like yes they’re wrong but Belle also thought he was scary and violent until she’d been there a number of hours. I feel like if instead of giving herself up she went to town and asked for help and they created a mob to get her father back she would not have been against the idea so it’s not wholly their fault for having the same idea

-“Is it dangerous?” “No, no, he’d never hurt anyone” Every owner of a dog who wants to bite you so so bad

-So when Belle and her father are alone she is clearly telling him that the beast let her go and is kind. When asked about the beast by the town, Maurice starts yelling about how he’s the most terrifying monster in the world. Belle has to show the beast to back up her father’s claims to try and save him for the second? third? time. And then they’re locked up and she says “this is all my fault” and this man does not for a second contradict her or take blame at all. “Yeah I can’t believe you specifically caused this mess.”

“We won’t rest until he’s good and deceased.” I know there are only so many words that rhyme with beast but that’s such a funny line in a bloodlust song. I will not rest until this animal has been declared legally dead by the state

-“We will fight even though the danger just increased” I’m obsessed with all the words they had to use to rhyme with beast

-It’s so funny that this is canonically France and he is canonically a prince. They didn’t make him a duke or a lord he is directly related to the royal family and in the line of succession. Likely not the dauphin because they wouldn’t have sent him to run a castle in the countryside away from the center of politics so probably a younger son but still, this guy is part of the royal family. They didn’t have to explicitly state this is France but they do, and they reference the baroque period so it’s after the construction of Versailles. The beast is actively being stabbed to death while sentient furniture watches and at the same time his family are canonically pissing on the walls and floors of their own home

-Oh my god the beast is brooding on a chaise. Did he drag it over to the window just so he could dramatically sit on his chaise and stare longingly out at the rain? Absolute break up mood

-He’s also in a different outfit that isn’t the fancy one or his every day one, he went and changed into a breakup outfit. Important to note the breakup outfit includes a cape and what he was previously wearing did not. He chose to put on a cape as part of his breakup outfit

-So Gaston points his arrow at the beast. The beast acknowledges it then looks away. Gaston then fires and hits him and he reacts all surprised and angry that it hurt like my dude you let him shoot you with an arrow, what did you think that experience would be

-It is so wild that Gaston assumes the beast is in love with Belle. Like yeah he’s right but what a wild assumption to make when you’re not even sure this thing comprehends human speech. Again my thought would be he’s attached to her like a dog is attached to its owner, I would not see a big furry animal and be like “this thing is fully sentient and feels romantic attraction to human women”. Yeah he’s wearing clothes but still that feels like a leap. Pointing at a dog in a sweater following its owner and yelling “You’re in love with her, aren’t you?”

-The beast’s arc is partly him controlling his temper, and we see him want to kill Gaston but controls himself and lets him go, immediately resulting in his own death. Gotta be honest I feel like less self control would have been helpful in that specific scenario

-I didn’t remember the blood spray after the beast is stabbed followed by the stab wound bleeding a good amount of blood. Are there other Disney princess movies with onscreen blood? I think in Mulan we see blood oozing out through clothes from an injury but that’s the only other one I can think of. Eugene gets pretty bloodlessly stabbed

-Best scene in the movie: The beast floats up in the air, actively transforms into a human in front of Belle, stands up, says “Belle, it’s me!” She then squints at him, touches his hair a bit, squints at his face, and when she recognizes his eyes she goes “It is you!” Ma’am what the hell else did you think was happening. If you didn’t recognize his eyes would you have just been like “Hmmm I dunno…”

-Ok so at the end there is an entire royal court watching them dance. Again I don’t want to be a CinemaSins I just want to see the missing scene. Like did he explain what happened to him? If yes then again I want to see that conversation of him explaining to his family how he was literally transformed into a literal beast for the last ten years and they had no idea this was happening to their family member. If no, imagine just going back to being a prince after 10 years as a beast and you just have to pretend like everything has been normal this whole time. I want a sequel that’s just the human beast reintegrating not only back into society but French royal society, which was notorious for having some of the most intricate and complicated social etiquette in all of Europe

-The final shot is a stained glass window of them with a prominent rose. Now in the original he had a whole rose garden he was very attached to, so that makes sense. But I feel like this beast specifically would have only negative connotations with roses and that window would probably be seen as a little tasteless given the circumstances. “It’s a rose! You know, the physical manifestation of a curse that was clearly quite upsetting for you for nine years and roughly 360 days, reminding you daily of your flaws! Isn’t that fun?”

“Original score by Alan Menken” Look up his IMDB, if you live in at least the US this man has written the score to your entire life

#long post #I’ve been called out for being long winded so here is your warning #beauty and the beast #disney

[phi8]

A bit of Star Wars fanart! A conversation between Ahsoka and Anakin after The Mandalorian Chapter 13: The Jedi. This one goes along with a bit of writing, check it out below or here.

Ahsoka broke the piece of dried meat she was eating into a few smaller parts. She let her consciousness expand and felt the birds and lizards around her camp site, a singular simian alien at the edge of her awareness. The trees rustled and their anticipation for the coming change of season was apparent. She felt the Khyber crystals in her lightsabers hum and reverberate the life around them. Even the rock on which she had unfolded a clean napkin had its signature in the living force. Savoring the taste of the jerky, she thanked the beast from which it had come.

“Ahsoka,” a voice called out.

“Master,” she responded. It became easier to become aware of him each time she did. “Good to see you,” she said, right before he materialized into the world.

The pale blue visage of Anakin Skywalker shifted uncomfortably. “I told you to stop calling me that, I don’t deserve it.”

“You are the guy who’s become one with the force, not me,” Ahsoka said with a little smirk. “... Anakin,” she finished with a nod.

“Thank you,” he said, sitting down on a log across from her. As was the case with Obi-Wan and his master and Yoda, Anakin was strangely physical when he appeared like this. Ahsoka could feel how he was affected by gravity and that he would rather sit than stand. But she could also see right through his wispy shape.

Similarly, Anakin could tell that Ahsoka had been wrestling with something. “You have something on your mind?”

“Yes,” Ahsoka said. She swallowed the last piece of her meal and wrung her hands. “Grogu... Turns out he’s still alive.”

“The little kid that the council was always so mysterious about?” Anakin paused, then flickered out of existence briefly. With a pained expression now on his face, he continued, “I always figured he got caught when... When you were on Mandalore.”

“We shared a connection, apparently someone managed to sneak him out of the temple.” She looked at him. “His life hasn’t been easy,” Ahsoka said. She didn’t manage to keep all of the accusation out of her tone.

Anakin nodded. He was of the force now, supposed to be in ultimate balance with the galaxy. Ahsoka noted he really didn’t look it.

“He’s gotten himself a father figure, a Mandalorian. It’s pretty cute. But the guy wanted me to train Grogu.” She looked down at her lap. “And, and – Anakin, Grogu reminded me so much of you.”

“The little baby Yoda reminded you of me?” Anakin said a bit incredulously.

“He’s powerful, and filled with fear and passion. Fear to become lost again, to lose this new parent. We’ve seen what such fear to lose someone can -,” Ahsoka interrupted herself.

Anakin sighed. He didn’t have lungs anymore, but it still hurt. There were some downsides to being granted eternity. He was forced to be faced with the consequences of his actions, all the people he had hurt.

He leaned forward  and put his hand on Ahsoka’s shoulder. To her the sensation was one of warmth, not one of touch. “So you turned him down,” Anakin said softly.

“Yes.” She looked at him. Both being this connected to the force, they could feel the compassion they felt for each other. Healing and forgiving would take time, but it would come. “I promised to help them though, and since I’m not comfortable training him I sent them to Tython.”

“Tython? That dingy temple with the seeing stone?” He sat back a little. “But who would respond to a call from a place like that?”

“I think Luke will find them.” Ahsoka said. Her lekku twitched, and the guilt she felt was visible on her face.

“Oh, I see,” Anakin said, smiling a little. “You wanted to check in with me because you sent a potential Sith Lord to my son.”

“When you put it like that...” Ahsoka smiled as well and hit Anakin in the arm, which  fully connected. He let out a soft gasp, as he would have in life.

“Don’t worry about him!” Anakin continued. “I don’t know if you  noticed, but that young man is capable of some incredible things. In fact, it was his love, his passion, that made him a better Jedi, made him able to save me.” Anakin’s form glowed slightly as he talked about his son, as though the thought of Luke made his spirit more bright. “If anyone can train Grogu, it’s him.”

Anakin stood up, face turned to the night sky of Corvus. “But here: you called a Jedi knight from the beyond for advice and counseling?” Looking back at Ahsoka, he made a little bow and said, “just go check in on Luke at some point. You get to make sure you made the right decision, see if the kid is doing well. And Luke can needle you for more advice.”

“Yeah, he’s very eager, isn’t he?” Ahsoka said, her expression softening.

“It’s unbelievable. He won’t let Obi-Wan and Yoda have a single bit of rest, always asking is this right, what did we do in such cases... He even figured out how master Qui-Gon’s views are different and how to find the compromise between them” Anakin got a sad smile on his face and said, “he’s so much like Padmé.”

Ahsoka felt Anakin fading away in the force, like he suddenly didn’t have the willpower to maintain his form here anymore.

“Do not worry, Ahsoka,” Anakin said faintly, “Luke is more than capable, and yours is a different path.”

“Thank you, master,” she said to the chilly night.

#ahsoka tano #anakin skywalker #star wars #the mandalorian #star wars fanart #art #my art

[showrunnerihardlyknowher]

Hey man, yeah, that's really cool how you and a couple friends you made along the way helped break that giant that was being kept locked away in a government facility out of their restraints so that they could have the freedom to go home. No, sure, I bet it really was an epic adventure defined by friendships and risks and ended with complete success, it's just...

Do you maybe think the giant was locked up for a reason?

How many innocent people had to die during your escapade, or did they deserve it simply because they wore a little uniform? Do you know how many people had died previously in their attempts to first wrangle the giant, the constant bloodshed that very nearly overtook them before they could wrangle the monster? But, oh, you saw intelligence in its eyes, life in its soul, you could tell it wanted so badly to be free and away from these cruel treatments. Everyone else knew these things, too; your observation wasn't unique. In fact, its the fact it was clearly so smart that made it all the more dangerous.

It played you like a fiddle, didn't it? How can you be so certain that it regards you the same way, how can you be sure you even understand what its trying to convey and vice versa? What makes you think it views you as a friend, an ally, a surrogate, hell, a pet? You were nothing but a means to an end, a key to be discarded once all the locks had been open. You're worthless to it, just another tiny pest like the others. Do you really think it would be able to tell you apart from the other 8 billion people on this planet?

And now it's free. You let it out. You let it continue the rampage it was originally hellbent on. The environment destruction is unimaginable. The knowledge that such a thing exists is now being spread globally, along with the stories of destruction that accompany its wake. Suicides and family annihilation is through the roof because people are terrified of living in a world that will inevitably be razed, if its merciful. That blood is on your hands. Never mind once the giant is able to communicate to its real friends, its real family, its real companions, and bring them down for the slaughter and maximum efficiency. Are you hoping you'll be spared? Is that even a world you want to live in if you are?

Why do you think it came here in the first place? You think just because it left, it won't come back? You think that with all the brilliance it has, it's ignorant to the concept of revenge? You seem so sure that it's innocent, but you've never asked for an explanation about its purpose, just as the lambs never question why they're being led to pens rather than an open field today. What implication could it possibly have given that made you so certain it wasn't here with cruel intentions, or did you simply want to feel a moral superiority of freeing a caged animal and thinking it owed you gratitude?

Everyone told you it was dangerous and needed to stay confined, but you didn't listen. You thought you knew better. You thought you were so much smarter than the hundreds of other people working around the clock to ensure the safety of everyone outside the facility. You ruined so many lives, including that of the people closest to you. What, you thought you'd be able to walk away from this scot-free? That you weren't going to be immediately detained as well as your loved ones and labeled a national, actually global, terrorist and security threat? You broke in to a high clearance area and effectively doomed the world for destruction. For what, because you thought it looked a little cramped in that cell?

Are you not aware that your actions have consequences after the story ends?

#g/t #giant/tiny #macro/micro #gianttiny #size difference #g/t angst #fearplay #g/t fearplay #g/t scenario #whump #g/t whump #tiny whump #g/t community #g/t writing

[devilants]

“Cavendish and Dakota are just really good friends!”

Allow me to explain A Christmas peril to you once again

Cavendish and Dakota had a petty argument that stuck with one another for 20+ years.

Overtime, they could’ve gotten over each other by moving on to diffrent careers, or meet different people. Likely getting new partners since they were still involved with time travel for a couple more years.

A few years later, Dakota likely had given up time traveling. Going on to be a pop star/writer, and presumably being gifted a nicer time car as a parting gift. Forgetting all about Cavendish after all those years.

Cavendish’s life seemed to stay the same, just more lonely and still mourning the loss of his friend. Rubbing salt into the wound as he watched Dakota gain popularity in the media. While Cav stayed in the same place 20 years later.

Cavendish likely never married either. Otherwise why would he still be fixated on Dakota for so long? At this point, he should've had a family and moved on, forgetting his friendship with Dakota all those years ago.

If Cavendish and Dakota had different partners for time travel after their split up, they could've found new people or possible spouses. But a majority likely weren't able to last due to them lacking connections with others.

Hence why Cavendish looks so alone in the future. He was never able to marry due to never finding anyone.

And it wasn't just Cavendish, it was Dakota too who also mourned for him years later and also never married. (Or maybe he did, and Cavendiah just never married. It’s still possible)

Dakota could've just completely ignored him. Cavendish didn't treat him well. So, Dakota had every right to be petty and ignore his entire existence. He had likely gotten married and started a family. And he had a choice to leave that point of his life forgotten, only talking his time as a time traveler, but could’ve avoided mentioning Cavendish at all.

Even though their relationship wasn't healthy and ended on a sour note, Dakota still thought about him often. He focused on the good memories they had because he knew Cavendish was still a good man. Even managing to write an entire chapter in his autobiography about him. (Actually, it’s possible he mentioned Cav throughout the book too, not just a single chapter)

There was something about Cavendish that made him so unique to Dakota after many years later. Same goes for Cavendish with Dakota.

Cavendish is a judgmental and negative person, how could Dakota still see anything distinctively good about him?

But the thing is, Dakota isn’t perfect either. He can be careless at times and sometimes selfish too. They have their flaws, but that's why they work so well. And that's why they need each other.

Cavendish is the voice of reason and prevents Dakota from doing things that’ll get him in trouble. But Dakota’s actions bring excitement into Cavs life.

Without Dakota, Cavendish’s life is sad and left without thrill. Without Cavendish, Dakota has nobody to stop him. He’s free to do whatever he wants without consequence or the rush of being told not to do something.

They completed each other, creating the perfect balance in each others lives. Otherwise, Cavendish would’ve stayed boring. But Dakota would've been free without Cav’s constant arguments. But that wouldn't be a very exciting life for Dakota now would it?

Cavendish risked a life of peace and quiet just to be with Dakota again.

Dakota risked giving up fame, fortune, and a better life for himself just to be with Cavendish again.

And if Cavendish and Dakota WERE married. They risked losing their wives/families to make amends with each other. But due to how lonely they looked in the future, it's likely they never did due to lingering onto each other for so long.

But yeah. Friends totally would break multiple time barriers just to grow old and become famous together by writing books and becoming pop idols.

#milo murphy's law #vinnie dakota #balthazar cavendish #dakavendish #milo murphy #melissa chase #zack underwood #im thinking this morning #ok I'm done rambling about this episode #i’ll get out of the kitchen

[haikirii]

I really like to reflect on how trust for q!Cellbit is something extremely important.

His entire lore revolves around trust relationships, mostly that relationship being broken. It's always about him being cheated on over and over again, even though the people he trusts have reasons to.

In Fuga Impossível, the only thing he asked f!Tazercraft was "Don't break my trust". I mean, we can't judge them because f!Cellbit wasn't the sanest person to have a relationship with inside the jail - considering the events that followed and the consequences like f!Felps killed in a riot, f!Pac having his leg eaten, f!Jvnq murdered, and f!Cellbit abandoned on an island.

However, he still tried to trust in f!Tazercraft. He tried to take a chance, even if you can't see that chance with the best of intentions.

And then imagine in q!Cellbit's view now. Years pass and something happens, and now all you are in a lovely and unique family that takes care of your adopted son who becomes the most important thing in your lives. Now there's q!Forever, your ex-husband - can we consider that fact? - in the middle of the story.

And you betray him .You say horrible things to him. You talk about how you are going to remove Richarlyson, the love of his life, from his life. You destroy the farm he took weeks to build, you become a monster.

You know that it's for the greater good. You know how much this situation that YOU put everyone in is hurting him, how much you betrayed his trust by doing all this.

And yet, you'd have no idea he still had a twinge of confidence that it was all a plan.

So, I think in q!Cellbit's shock to discover that q!Forever still trusted him after all that.

Something that has always been so important in his life, that was taken away from him several times, becomes so essential in a relationship to the point that even if he became a monster, that trust still existed.

And after everything was revealed, trust only grew. This got stronger and stronger to the point where just mentioning that he was being blackmailed into doing something and if he told anyone Richarlyson would die, q!Forever changed the subject without hesitation.

q!Forever, the most curious person on the entire island, who has a gossip magazine and spies on everyone, changed the subject without even hesitating so that q!Cellbit would stop telling him that. Because he trusts q!Cellbit SO MUCH, and loves his son SO MUCH, that anything less than that is bullshit.

Same thing with q!Roier. Their entire relationship is based on mutual trust from the beginning. Everything they went through, from the regret arc until now, they could only get through it because they had this unconditional trust.

And at the end of it all, q!Cellbit got what he wanted most in his entire life: people to believe in.

Tradução pt-br

Gosto muito de refletir como confiança para o q!Cellbit é algo extremamente importante.

Toda a sua lore gira em torno de relações de confiança, principalmente essa relação sendo quebrada. É sempre sobre ele ser traído várias vezes repetidamente, mesmo que as pessoas as quais ele confia tenham motivos para isso.

Em Fuga Impossível, a única coisa que ele pediu para os moços foi "Não quebrem a minha confiança". Quero dizer, não podemos julgá-los pois f!Cellbit não era a pessoa mais sã de se ter uma relação dentro da cadeia - considerando nos fatos que se sucederam e nas consequências de um f!Felps morto em uma rebelião, f!Pac tendo sua perna comida, f!Jvnq assassinado e f!Cellbit abandonado em uma ilha.

Porém, ainda assim ele tentou confiar nos moços. Ele tentou dar uma chance, mesmo que você não possa ver essa chance com a melhores das intenções.

E então imagine na visão de q!Cellbit agora. Anos se passam e algo acontece, e agora vocês são uma família amorosa e única que cuida de seu filho adotado que se torna a coisa mais importante de suas vidas. Agora tem q!Forever, seu ex-marido - será que podemos considerar esse fato? - no meio da história.

E você trai ele. Você fala coisas horríveis pra ele. Você fala como você vai tirar o Richarlyson, o amor da vida dele, de sua vida. Você destrói a farm que ele levou semanas pra montar, você vira um monstro.

Você sabe que é por um bem maior. Você sabe o quanto essa situação que VOCÊ colocou a todos está machucando ele, o quanto você traiu a confiança dele fazendo tudo isso.

E, mesmo assim, você nem imagina que ele ainda tinha uma pontada de confiança de que era tudo um plano.

Então, eu penso no choque de q!Cellbit ao saber que q!Forever ainda confiava nele depois de tudo isso. Algo que sempre foi tão importante em sua vida, que foi lhe tirada várias vezes, se torna tão essencial em uma relação ao ponto de mesmo que ele tenha se tornado um monstro, ainda assim aquela confiança ainda existia.

E depois de tudo revelado, a confiança só cresceu. Ela se fortaleceu cada vez mais ao ponto de só de mencionar que ele estava sendo ameaçado a fazer algo e se contasse para alguém Richarlyson morreria, q!Forever mudou de assunto sem pestanejar.

q!Forever, o maior curioso da ilha inteira, que tem uma revista de fofoca e espiona a todos, mudou de assunto sem nem hesitar para que q!Cellbit parasse de contar aquilo. Porque ele confia TANTO no q!Cellbit e ama TANTO o seu filho, que qualquer coisa abaixo disso é besteira.

A mesma coisa com q!Roier. Toda a relação deles é baseada em confiança mútua, desde o início. Tudo o que eles passaram, desde o arco regret até agora, eles só puderam superar porque eles tinham essa confiança incondicional.

E no final de tudo, q!Cellbit conseguiu o que ele mais queria em toda sua vida: pessoas ao qual acreditar.

#qsmp brasil #qsmp #cellbit #qsmp cellbit #qsmp richarlyson #qsmp forever #qsmp pac #qsmp mike #qsmp tazercraft #qsmp felps #fuga impossível #roier #qsmp roier

[thatfilthyanimal]

tw: stalking, grooming, pedophilia, sexual abuse, past suicidal thoughts

I've recently been made aware that Dupsy is still talking about me and is now going to random Megamind fans that don't know me and telling them to avoid me. I'm also aware that they're doing this in the Ruby Gillman fandom. I have no words to really describe the level of discomfort this brings me, but I will attempt.

First of all, all the "grooming" allegations were thoroughly debunked and proven to be bullshit. I can't believe I have to even say this. I'm a victim of grooming and sexual abuse myself. It's extremely traumatic and life-altering shit, and never something I would want to inflict on someone else. I feel like it should be obvious, with the measures I took in the server to ensure no child is exposed to such things. I was recently diagnosed with PTSD due to the shit that happened to me when I was growing up, and between processing that in therapy sessions and stomaching transitioning in a near-constant hostile-to-trans-people online social media hellscape, I am tired.

I love Megamind, more than anything, and this is known and obvious to anyone who's met me. This movie saved my life when I was extremely suicidal and planning to end my life back in 2010. Watching the movie when I did gave me something to focus on, a distraction, and a responsibility as a fandom member that helped distract me long enough to get out of the planning mindset I was in. Had I not seen the movie, I do not think I would have stuck around. I will leave it at that.

And moderating fandom spaces for Megamind has been lovely! I adore this fandom. The people in it are extremely talented and sweet, and just so damn nice, like by default. I say this all the time but I've never experienced another fandom space quite like it. There are usually bad eggs in fandoms, and perhaps -I- am said "bad egg" to some, but genuinely this one is special. I have always felt that way, even when the bad eggs show up and make a stink. It has always felt worth being here for, to me.

And while I hate to give Dupsy the satisfaction of knowing they hurt me, I need to be honest-- it's been rough. I stopped talking in my server, I locked up on most of my friends and stopped talking even in DMs. I still struggle with severe anxiety in the server and have talked to Dal on various occasions about transferring the server ownership to him. He's been very patient with my freakouts and super understanding, but it's still hard. This WAS a place I felt safe, for over ten years! And now it feels like any minor can just say I'm a groomer or a pedo or whatever with ZERO consequences, just because they're mad, just because these are words that make people go "oh shit" and listen, and man! It's not ok! And this coupled with the fact that trans people are often called groomers just for existing, just… man! I'm tired. I'm so tired.

There are real, severe, damaging effects to these claims being thrown around so casually. It's hurtful to me, as a victim of sexual abuse, because when I came forward to people about what happened when -I- was a minor, I was told I "wanted it" and "asked for it". It was made to be my fault that I was abused, and I internalized it for years. It nearly killed me. I cannot stress enough how important it is to not use claims like pedophilia and grooming so lightly-- these are VERY damning terms to use on people and should be reserved for people ACTUALLY HARMING OTHERS. Being mad I banned you from the server is not "abuse" and using my Customer Service Voice to be nice to you and then being obviously tired of you when you were banned is not "emotional grooming". What the actual fuck. ALSO. This was well over a year ago! Why am I still having to post about this? Why are you still TALKING about me? And yet again I ask, where the HELL are your parents?

Anyway, if you've been wondering why I've been so quiet these days and struggling to socialize… honestly? It's this. I hate that this is what did it. I know people trust and believe me, I know the fandom backs me up regularly and I appreciate them all so much for it. I see it, but I never know how to respond. You guys continue to make this fandom feel safe for me even when my entire brain is screaming to run, and I appreciate you so much for it.

Kids deserve to be trusted when they tell people they've been hurt and I hate that the recent proshipping discourse or whatever you want to call it, this culty all-or-nothing shit, has a bunch of minors growing up feeling like EVERYTHING is something to call rapey or predatory, with apparently little room to distinguish when REAL abuse is happening to them. I don't blame anyone for believing Dupsy, and it's honestly better they DO believe all unproven claims of abuse by default, just to stay safe-- but man, it has consequences that follow people, and really should not be a thing to just throw around because you're mad at someone. I just can't believe they're STILL going around and reaching out to strangers telling them to avoid me… like, what the fuck.

I will be ok, I always am eventually, but I needed to say something, because it's honestly been a while since I've said much of anything.

Keep being kind. <3

#trigger warnings in post #Megamind #Ruby Gillman #RGTK #personal #sorry if you have no idea what the heck is happening #continue scrolling its all good #but also maybe uhhhhhh avoid this minor #like a lot

[bestworstcase]

oscar fully made me cry. the merge... :(

my son is in DANGER…

but. the thought i have rattling around in my brain. i don’t think that was oscar.

1. despite his uncertainty, oscar still sounds like himself in the 9.11 animatic.

i could not… tell you exactly what it is dismuke is doing with his voice to differentiate between them, but there is an audible distinction (i think it might be that oz is pitched very slightly lower in conjunction with a subtle shift in intonation and cadence) and that doesn’t change at all through the end of v8. (unlike their syntax, which has been gradually converging since v6 and is mostly indistinguishable now.) the epilogue soliloquy is in Oscar Voice; but this latest beyond? very distinct Ozpin Voice.

2. the lead into this conversation is deliberately ambiguous: jaune talks about feeling displaced and lost to himself now that he’s “been young, and old, and young again,” says that he’d rather forget, because he was the rusted knight, but the rusted knight wasn’t him. and THEN, lately he’s been spending more time with “the person [he] thought would relate most.”

not “with oscar,” and the thing is? the experience jaune describes? being young then old then young again, growing into someone else, a make-believe hero who was not himself and then being separated from that make-believe version of himself and confronted with the question of who he is now that he’s himself again… that’s. a lot closer to ozma’s experience than it is to oscar’s; oscar is just a kid who had the misfortune to become a vessel for someone else, with his core struggle as a character being how hard he’s striving to STAY himself for as long as he can. whereas ozma keeps reincarnating and being changed to fit this mold he’s been poured into, and then he dies and is separated and ‘reborn’ again. young then old then young again. jaune was the rusted knight, but the rusted knight wasn’t jaune, and who is jaune now? / ozma was ozpin, but ozpin wasn’t ozma, and who is ozma now?

(versus: oscar isn’t ozma, and is fighting as hard as he can to stay oscar, but he’s scared that he isn’t really oscar anymore.)

3. “if you’re not sure where to start, i do have a suggestion, if you’d like. […] think about the good times, what little they might have been, that you spent in the ever after. […] it might be able to help you remember what it was all for, and rewrite the story in your own way.”

that’s. what ozma did, after the lost fable, when he found the wherewithal to return. note the mirroring here of sentiments expressed in ‘until the end’: “all memories are dark, and light is fading/we try so hard, but what are we fighting for? […] i promise i’ll be here until…/our story has been told” -> “think about the good times, what little they might have been, to remind yourself what it was all for, and rewrite the story in your own way.”

ozma. ozma loves stories, and tells stories about himself to make sense of his life and to try to hold on to what’s true amid all the senseless horror of his existence. “our stories help explain who we are and why we’re here,” ozpin writes in the introduction to fairytales of remnant.

and, in the afterward: “No one is guaranteed a happy ending, but the tales told about Remnant and its people do hold a bittersweet promise: who we are and what we do are important enough to be remembered and shared. We exist. Our existence means something. Stories will survive longer than all of us, but through them, we may continue on.”

now, by the end of v8, oscar has begun to dabble in this too—quoting from ‘the girl who fell through the world’ to express his fears and loneliness—but still with a degree of separation between himself and the stories. oscar “never understood why [the girl] was so sad […] but now it makes more sense;” he’s rethinking a story from his childhood with new perspective. whereas oz uses this same story self-referentially: “a young girl flees the consequences of a choice to a magical place, but, never having learned from her initial failure, she only succeeds in spreading it. i failed all of you. i should have trusted you with the truth, and should never have run the day you discovered it.”

oscar relates to alyx, empathizes with the character through his own experience. “i understand now why she felt so sad.”

oz projects himself onto alyx to explain the choices he made and his resultant failures. “i fled the consequences of my choices and then failed to learn from my mistake, so i failed all of you.”

similarly, oscar says “i shouldn’t be surprised you’re so familiar with fairytales,” and ozpin answers “i’ve lived through my share of them.” to oscar, these are just stories that resonate with his own life; to ozma, the stories are his life. yes?

but, he hasn’t actually ‘lived through’ any fairytales—he wrote fairytales about himself.

jaune lived through a fairytale—‘the girl who fell through the world’ was a beloved childhood story that he knew and recognized as a fairytale once he found himself in it. but for lewis, the journey through ever after was an experience that later inspired him to write a fictional story where everything turned out alright.

so to lewis, ‘the girl who fell through the world’ was a way of making peace with what really happened, honoring his sister and his friend, and moving on. but to jaune, that story is a horrifying, haunting reminder of his failure to live up to it. it’s a burden he’s carried for decades.

and i believe this is a distinction that oz—who has, like lewis did, written many fictional stories about his own life as a way of comforting himself and preserving something true within a story that isn’t real—would notice. i’m not sure that oscar would.

oscar’s fear has always been about losing himself and becoming just another one of oz’s lives. for him, the question is “who am i? am i still me? how long can i stay myself?”

oz… doesn’t know who he is, and hasn’t for a very long time, but he’s chiefly concerned not with his identity but his purpose: what is he fighting for? why is he here? what does he want? (“we live in fear that we might fail/fear that we’ll succeed/fear that we may not provide the things our loved ones need”—what ozma wants is in opposition to his task, and so he is both afraid to fail and terrified that he might one day succeed.)

so this suggestion, think about the good times to remind yourself what it was all for?

i really don’t think that’s an idea oscar would have. i think oscar would see in jaune’s struggle something more like his own distress when oz returned: “i’m not upset that you left; i’m upset you came back. i started to feel like me—not the same me i was before all of this, but the me i always wanted to be. i felt like i was actually part of the team.”

and because of that, i think oscar would advise jaune to do what he did while oz was gone: accept that he can’t ever go back to who he used to be, but think about who he wants to be and strive to become that version of himself, focus on taking action and being present and reaching out to participate until the distance he feels is closed.

which is good advice in general but also probably not what’s best for jaune right now; if he doesn’t take the time to reflect and process all the trauma he endured in the ever after and make peace with the rusted knight now, it’s just going to sink down and fester inside him forever until he faces it.

…and that is precisely what oz did to himself. so ozma is the one better equipped to offer guidance for this specific problem, and as he and oscar are now on the same page—both of them fighting the curse together, and oz committed to honesty—i think oscar would be pretty open to hearing oz’s perspective.

4. the 9.11 animatic implies that oscar and oz might be hiding how bad it’s getting from the others, and B1 drops a pretty… anvil-sized… hint that it’s getting really difficult for people who aren’t close to them to tell who’s who.

jaune and oscar were close friends… but jaune spent several decades alone, and all the people he cares about have become strange to him now. he’s bound to have forgotten details, lost the familiarity he once had even as the love was undiminished.

and he’s never gotten along with ozpin.

but from oz and oscar’s perspective, jaune was there when oz reconciled with everyone else, and oz has been keeping his promises since then, and by this point it’s been months and any lingering friction with the ones who didn’t fall has probably been long since put to bed. they’re used to cooperating with each other, both in fighting the curse and dealing with the problems as they arise in vacuo, and by the end of v8 they were trading places pretty smoothly when oz needed to talk.

in the 9.11 animatic we have ren going “hope you two are okay”—their closest friends have gotten used to casually addressing them as two people. in v7, when ironwood isn’t sure, he asks. that’s probably become the new normal. (especially as i can’t imagine their friends feeling anything but awful if they guessed wrong.)

so like. it wouldn’t be at all unreasonable for them to just kinda

absentmindedly forget

that jaune can’t discern at a glance who is fronting, and is liable to assume he’s talking to oscar unless told otherwise.

and then. there’s… this:

“he’s in your head, isn’t he? did you already know about this? […] how much longer can we even trust him? how do we even know it’s really him? what if we’ve been talking to that liar this whole time?”

the last time jaune thought there was even a possibility that oz might be pretending to be oscar, he flew off the handle and shoved oscar into a wall. and that was before he spent several decades deteriorating in isolation.

so if oz went “mind if i talk to him this time?” and oscar went “sure,” and both of them assumed out of habit that jaune would ask if he wasn’t certain but also knows oscar well enough to be able to tell most of the time…

like

that’s a little bit

fraught, isn’t it? because they didn’t mean to deceive him, but they’re both aware that this exact scenario really freaks him out. and springing that on him when he’s in the middle of opening up about such a sensitive subject…

“you mean ozpin has… right?”

“of course! 😬”—to me this reaction reads a lot more like awkward-panic he thinks i’m you what do we do?! than oscar realizing he mixed up himself and oz.

especially because, even though oscar appears in the 9.11 animatic to be hiding how bad it’s gotten, he’s never kept it a secret that he does not want this or that he’s really scared of what will happen to him at the end. back in v6 he said this TO JAUNE:

No, it's okay. These past few days, I've been scared of the same things you were. I don't know how much longer I'm going to be... me. But I did some thinking, and I do know that I want to do everything I can to help with whatever time I have left.

so i don’t believe oscar would be able to just “of course! anyway–” such a big thing. not want to talk about it and try to play it off as a slip of the tongue, yes, but i think it would have more weight. like this is what he’s been dreading from the moment ozpin first spoke to him, and that fear has only grown deeper since then. his part in the 9.11 animatic is equal parts despair and terror.

if this were oscar, i’d expect at least a pause, and probably a response more in the vein of “right—ozpin has” to reaffirm and reinforce that separation between himself and oz. this is a kid who preferred to stay on the whale and be tortured rather than risk accelerating the curse by using magic!

whereas.

“of course! ahem. um, if you’re not sure where to start…”

like jaune saying “the person i thought would relate most,” there’s a little ambiguity here. of course he meant ozpin. that would be true regardless of whether the one speaking is oscar or oz. the more salient question, the question that jaune does not ask and the one that isn’t answered, is “are you ozpin?”

because oz answering “of course!” and then not clarifying that he didn’t actually misspeak would be… a very classic oz move, and newfound commitment to being honest or not—if he thought jaune knew who he was until Right Then, it’s a delicate situation and the history is fraught and oz knows jaune is touchy about this; in the moment, playing along as ‘oscar’ is pretty understandable.

and we’ve seen oscar pretend to be ozpin under pressure, when salem put him on the spot through her assumption that she was talking to oz; the reversal of oz awkwardly letting jaune’s presumption that he’s oscar pass uncorrected isn’t much of a stretch.

so it’s like. the voice, the actual advice given, and the way he reacts when jaune ‘corrects’ him—it all sounds like ozma, to the point that up until jaune interjected “you mean ozpin has, right?” i was like That’s Ozma, and on thinking about it and considering the deliberate ambiguity of “the person i thought would relate most” and that the one speaking doesn’t confirm he isn’t oz, only affirms that by “myself” he did of course mean ozpin…

points. That’s Ozma.

[grapejuicegay]

A... rather personal defense of Pran

I've seen a lot of people being confused about Pran's behaviour and rather upset by him. But like @waitmyturtles said in their review, "I see Pran dealing with something really complicated." Which, yes. That's what this post is about. I just don't think it's about Singapore.

It's about Pran's OCD. I think there was a consensus last week with the way Pran talked about it that it was a recent diagnosis. And I think this episode just confirmed that for me.

This is where the personal part begins - I was diagnosed with OCD in 2020, in the very first few months of covid. When I told people about it I got about the same response that we had to Pran - it's not surprising but it's good that it's an official diagnosis now.

Such a diagnosis is almost a relief when you get it because suddenly a lot of things start making sense. But it also comes with a very fun challenge - learning to deal with it. Because while you understand why you get so much more anxious and overthink more than most people, you're also suddenly more aware of your thought patterns. You have to be, to find a way to work through them, to not give into the intrusive thoughts. But looking at the intrusive thoughts is one of the best ways to let them take over. You do have to look at them though, because you have to learn to recognise them. Because you cannot deal with them until you do. It's a rough cycle.

I was a few years older than Pran when I was diagnosed, and in a very different place in my life. The pandemic that we didn't know a lot about at that time looming over our heads did not help my anxiety, but the lockdown gave me something really special - time and space to work through it all. I wasn't in college so I didn't have the constant looming threat of deadlines and figuring out my future in that very moment. I also didn't have the very unique set of stressors Pran lives with - friends and family from whom you're hiding a relationship that if revealed could potentially lead to very severe consequences, consequences that in the past have been the worst of his anxieties come to life. Nor a relationship to maintain while being overtly aware at all times that this is not the kind of relationship your partner would really want, that they're only in this because of you.

And there is the sacrifice of it all. There is the thing that keeps coming up again and again - that Pat does so much for him. That Pat helps him all the time, that Pat's sacrificed so much for him, that Pran isn't sure he's good enough or ever will be.

Add to that the regular reminders from Pat that he overthinks. They're meant in a very good way and they do help in the moment, I'm not denying that at all. But it's also a fact that Pran struggles with. It adds to his concern that he's a burden on Pat with the way he thinks, that Pat has to do so much work because of Pran's brain, something Pat had no say over (something Pran had no say over but it's harder to see it like that in the moment).

I've had my diagnosis for the past 3 years now. And it hasn't been until the past year that I've finally started feeling confident in myself and my ability to regulate my anxiety, to finally start feeling like I have control over my brain. Because as much as knowing the diagnosis helps, the work you have to do afterwards is no joke.

So yes, Pran is going through something very heavy, but it's not the prospect of going to Singapore (I don't believe that exists just yet, but it's coming soon). Pran is in the process of figuring out how to make his brain work in his favour instead of actively against him. He's learning to rely on people when he needs to while fighting off constant reminders that he's a burden.

And we've seen Pran make a lot of progress. Any points at which he talks about being anxious are progress. Any time he lets himself be upset is progress. Any time time he says any of his worries out loud (even if he can't say them directly to Pat yet), he has fought his way through who knows how many intrusive thoughts to get to that point. And in the same regard - he probably feels guilty about having Pat say "I can't live without you" first. Because he's likely just as aware that Pat has done so much for him that this is just another thing he's adding on top of that.

But - and I think this is very big - he knows that he needs Pat to say it first, to give him permission to feel this, that this isn't too much for him to ask for. This is him asking for help to express himself when he feels like too much. It helps them both in the long run. And I do think it's a very important step to get what we saw in ep 12 - a Pran that demands love, that demands to be babied. This is him giving himself permission through the hardest part of learning his diagnosis.

I love that we get this between ep 11 and 12 because with this ep 12 also becomes a hug, a way of telling us things may be rough for him but he gets through it. He'll get where he needs to be, wants to be. Just give him some time. Because just like with the parents, sometimes time is just what you need.

#so this is probably the most personal i have ever been and will ever be on here #but i think it needed to be said #so here it is #bad buddy #bad buddy brain rot #bad buddy series #our skyy 2 #our skyy bad buddy #i understand people being upset with him #but i think it's important to understand why he's acting the way he is #especially when you add in a pretty serious mental health diagnosis #and they are dealing with it pretty well! #i think showing the struggle is important sometimes #and at least they're showing a version of it that makes sense #it's not just a need for everything to be orderly - although that can be part of it and likely is for pran #but it never just ends there

[putellas11]

A/N:  Merry Christmas everyone! 🎁🎄 So happy to participate in the Christmas Writing Challenge alongside such an amazing group of writers. Thank you to @nytb for putting all this together! Check out @nytb’s fic that was posted earlier as well as @redhairedwolfwitch's fic coming out soon!

Small but Meaningful (Mapi Leon x Reader)

You’re not one to make impulsive decisions. It’s crucial to think things through and carefully consider all the pros and cons before making a final verdict. It doesn’t matter if it's deciding on a new job or a new pair of shoes, the process is the same. 

To you, this is completely normal. It’s the way you’ve always been. To others, however, it’s a little extreme. Everyone in your life, at some point or another, has encouraged you to be more spontaneous. To not think things through so much and to just go with the flow. But, they quickly realize that it’s just not in your nature. 

And yet, you managed to fall in love with one of the most impulsive human beings you’ve ever met. Unlike you, María Pilar León rarely gives more than five minutes of thought to any decision. If her heart calls for it, she will do it. Mapi doesn’t fear consequences. She knows she can handle anything and everything that is thrown her way. And that’s why you love her so much.

Her tattoos are a perfect example of this. One night, the two of you are just lying in bed, scrolling through social media and occasionally showing each other a funny video or meme. 

And then all of the sudden, Mapi sits up with a gasp, “me encanta!” 

On her screen is a tattoo design of a skull with an outline of a light bulb. The moment you see it, you know the two of you will be in a tattoo parlour in less than 24 hours. 

And just as you predicted, you’re now sitting next to Mapi as she discusses a few modifications to the design with the artist. Within seconds, Mapi made a decision that can last forever. She liked it, so she’s getting it. For her, it’s that easy.

You’ve thought about getting a tattoo before. The idea initially excites you, but once you really start thinking about it, you end up talking yourself out of it. Although Mapi’s personality and perspective on life have certainly rubbed off on you a little, just the thought of getting a tattoo gives you a headache. 

With the design finalized, Mapi can barely contain her excitement. “Do you like it?” she asks, looking at you with a sparkle in her eye. 

You may never actually get one yourself, but that doesn’t mean you don’t appreciate the beauty of tattoos. Not to mention how hot they look on your girlfriend. 

“I love it, babe.” 

Mapi, satisfied to hear your answer, leans back to allow the artist to apply the stencil to her skin.

“And when will I have the honor of tattooing you, Y/N?” asks the artist, still focused on her work.

Mapi stifles her laughter. She, of all people, knows the chances of you ever getting a tattoo are slim, if non-existent. 

“Por favor, don’t make me laugh,” Mapi shakes her head, a teasing smile on her lips, “I think her brain would short-circuit trying to pick out a tattoo.” 

You nod, in full agreement with Mapi. “Not an exaggeration.”

“You should have seen her last week trying to pick out a new toothbrush. She had like five tabs opened on her phone, just reading review after review.” 

You squint your eyes at Mapi, giving her a little kick. “Hey! It was a big decision and it didn’t even take me that long to decide, anyway.” 

“Remind me again how long it took you?” 

You look down at the floor, feeling a little warmth creeping up behind your neck, “I don’t know,” you mumble, “like 30 minutes.”

Mapi turns to the artist and gives them a clear and obvious, I told you so, look. “You see what I’m dealing with?” 

“I’ll get one, one day…” you say, trying your best to sound confident. 

“Sure you will, baby. Sure you will.” 

You and Mapi may be two very different people, that doesn’t mean you don’t share a few similarities. Like Mapi, you are very competitive. The very few times in your life when you’ve said, fuck it, without thinking of the consequences, have been for the sake of winning. 

“Go ahead, underestimate me. That’ll be fun.”

Mapi, noticing the change in your tone, blows a kiss in your direction. She loves to tease you, but also knows not to push you too much. Unlike so many others in your past, she never wants to make you feel bad for what some might consider a flaw. 

“You could always just be a little one, y’know,” the artist says, working on the lines of the tattoo “and if it means something to you, even better. Small but meaningful.” 

You remain relatively quiet for the remainder of the session, lost in thought. What the artist said resonated with you. 

Small, but meaningful. 

___________

For the first time in years, you don’t have to stress about what to get Mapi for Christmas. She has loved every gift you’ve given her in the past — no matter how simple or expensive the gift. But still, you agonize for months on what to get her. 

Now, just a few days before Christmas, you’ve never been so calm. Of course, Mapi has noticed how out of the ordinary this is for you. 

“Something’s not right,” she says, standing in front of the TV and blocking your view. 

“What do you mean?” 

Mapi looks you up and down, “you’re acting weird.” 

“How am I acting weird?”

“Two days before Christmas and you’re sitting here, watching TV, calm as a cucumber.”

“And what’s so weird about that?” you try to look past Mapi and at the screen, acting oblivious as to what the big deal is. 

Mapi snaps her fingers at you in an attempt to get your attention, “you should be freaking out!” she exclaims. “This is like the most stressful time of year for you. I mean, did you just decide not to get me a gift this year?”

“I already know what I’m getting you, amor” you tell her, brushing her off.

“You do?” 

“Mhmm.”

Mapi squints her eyes at you, one eyebrow slightly perked in suspicion. She knows you have something up your sleeve, but you know she’ll never be able to guess as to exactly what. 

For the next two days, you find Mapi snooping under the bed, in the closet, in every cabinet and every possible hiding spot in the apartment. If you were able to decide on a gift so quickly, it must be a good one. 

Now, sitting together under the Christmas tree, Mapi’s gift is still nowhere in sight. 

“I can’t take this anymore!” she says, tapping her knees impatiently, “come on, stop messing with me and give me my gift.” 

You’re just as excited to show Mapi her gift as she is to receive it. Her impatience is to be understood. This is the first gift you've given her that did not require any second guessing out of fear that she’ll hate it. 

Wanting to draw out the suspense, your movements are slow. Very carefully you tug up the sleeve of your Christmas sweater. Mapi can’t help but lean forward when she sees the reindeer band-aid on your wrist. 

“What happened?” she asks with concern. The gift is suddenly of no interest to her. 

“Go ahead, take it off,” you encourage her. Now only a few seconds away from the reveal, you can’t help the grin spreading across your face.

Mapi delicately pulls on the end of the band-aid until a small, number 4, can be seen. As soon as she sees it, she leans back. A puzzled look on her face. 

“What is that?” she asks, refusing to believe what she's seeing.  

“What do you think it is?” 

Mapi shakes her head, refusing to even believe the possibility. “No, I don't believe you” she says, leaning in again to get a closer look. “It can’t be real.” She wets her finger and tries to wipe away the number, but there it remains. 

“I know I tend to overthink everything and that it drives you crazy sometimes — even though I know you’ll never admit it,” you tug her chin so she’s looking you in the eyes, “but if there’s one thing, I’m hundred percent certain of, it’s you.” 

Mapi melts under your touch. She’s perfectly aware of how big of a decision this was for you and the fact that she’s the inspiration for your first tattoo makes it all that more special.

“I love it,” Mapi gives you a big smile and leans in to give you a soft and tender kiss, “and I love you,” she says against your lips.

Her reaction is everything you hoped for and more. 

“I have so many cool designs to show you!” she says, shaking you side to side with her hands on your shoulders. 

You put up your hand to stop her, “wait, don't you get too excited now.”

But it's too late. Mapi's already reaching for her phone.  

#mapi leon x reader #mapi leon imagine #woso x imagine #woso x reader