#even now i wish my sis would leave the room a mo i NEED to know where the knives are

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

you are so so loved by God and by all of us here on tumblr and I am sending you so much love tonight. please stay. things will get better I promise. <3

.

#anon i am so sorry that my first reaction was legitimately 'damn it' because i want to die so bad right now. have all day #all evening #am drinking a hot drink and gonna maybe listen to music in a bit once i hopefully stop feeling so overwhelmed by TEXTURES #does it count as self harm that i scratched the back of my hand until it bled earlier? #i couldn't stop thinking about the knives #even now i wish my sis would leave the room a mo i NEED to know where the knives are #I NEED THEM #tw sh #tw suicide #i swear if i had one rn id be in a bad way #fool that i am tho i cut my palm and it hurts like mad when i do things #but i. i. TEXTURES #I NEED THEM GONE I NEED TO STOP FEELING MY SKIN OR I NEED PAIN TO COVER IT UP #I NEED IT TO STOP #personal #but thanks anon. truly <3

[fallingforel]

Spencer reid imagine- broken

i have just watched the episode where maeve just died and watched the next part where reid is on the floor and is not okay. so I had inspiration to write so here it goes. 

summary: Your super close to reid and maeve has just died, you go over to his to give your undeniable support and some words between the two of you are exchanged. Oh and your dereks sister

words: 1,305

“Come on Y/n, you know maeve has just died. He’s not going to be okay” Derek says through the phone 

“I know, but I feel helpless. Can you just come over, bring ice cream. You know the one mama used to buy us, when we were good and deserved a treat. The one she bought us lots of us when dad passed” 

“yes. yes. I’ll bring it over. But we have a case first, get your ass over to the bullpen now.” 

“but...” 

“pretty boy will be just fine, we’ll go after we’ve finished this case” 

“okay okay. Love you bro.” 

“love you too sis.”

⋆｡°✩

“there’s my favourite morgan sibling” Penelope says as I’m walking into the roundtable and sit down next to Derek. 

“ERR, Hey babygirl. What about me?” 

“yes, yes. well, she’s You know-” Penelope, quickly gets cut off by Hotch walking into the room. 

“Garcia, we’re all here on with the case please” 

“of course sir,  Meet who was formerly Gary Porter. He was found d*ad outside a San Francisco night club last night. And Pamela Hurd-- she was found near a cable car stop in San Francisco's Mission District.” 

“They were both found wrapped in clear plastic.” Jj says looking over the case file on her tablet “It says here they were d*ad only a few hours before they were found.That's not long enough for the elements to have made them that pale” I say from where I’m sitting next to my brother pointing it out. 

“Cause that's where we enter the town of weirdville on the corner of eew and icky-icky, girl morgan. Both victims were almost completely drained of their blood. Less than a pint left.” 

“He's exsanguinating them.” I say with question, trying to get all the details on the unsub we can from the MO 

“While they were still alive.” hotch finishes for me. 

“It might be utilitarian” derek says from besides me. 

“He needs them alive so they can pump out the blood themselves. Draining a body like that is extremely hard to do. Once the heart stops pumping, it's difficult to continue to extract the blood.” 

“So the question is, how is he doing it?” I ask.

 “Oh, I wish you wouldn't have asked that, lovely 'cause now I gotta show this picture.” Garcia says from the right of me. 

“There are large bore holes in the femoral artery of each victim.” Hotch says from the back of the room. 

“Our unsub could have medical knowledge.” JJ says from where she’s sat 

“It's possible. We'll know more when we get there. Wheels up in 30.” Hotch says before leaving the room. 

⋆｡°✩

it didnt take no more than a few days to catch the unsub, it was pretty easy. he was obsessed with painting with blood though, taking the blood out of the victims. but with all of our intelligence as a team we managed to put another unsub away. 

“der, I’m worried about reid. he hasn’t shown up at all I would’ve at least thought he’d have shown and help us catch the victim” 

“Y/n, you can’t blame him. someone he loves, just died. right infront of him, thats unfair of you to say that. We’re all worried about him. Come on, let’s go and get that icecream and bring it to pretty boy” 

⋆｡°✩

“Reid, your favourite morgans are here. We bought Ice cream too. the good kind” I said after knocking on his apartment door. 

“pretty boy, we’re both here for you open up reid. don’t make me kick your door down.” derek talks through the door, after a few minutes of silence. 

that soon makes Reid open the door. 

“I knew that would make you open the door.” 

“hmm, well if you had kicked my door down. You’d be paying for the replacement” 

“Yeah, well. I would’ve done it myself. Now let us in, we’ve come over here to cheer you up” 

⋆｡°✩

“why’d you even come anyway. It’s not like I need any company anyway, can’t be the best person to hang around at the moment.” Reid says to me putting the empty Ice cream tub down along with both our spoons. Derek had soon passed out, he always does within the first 15 minutes of a romantic movie. 

“You’re always the best person to hang out with Spence. You just get me you know. Was weird not having you on this weeks case I won’t lie to you” 

“mmh, yeah well. My girlfriend just died. And infront of me too.” 

“I know I know. Trust me I know more than you think.” 

“I highly doubt that” 

“yeah well, not many people know this. Not even my brother. My boyfriend of 6 years died, right infront of my eyes. shot at and killed by a known serial killer In the area, we we’re trying to catch him for months, then when I got the call. I couldn’t bare to face the town anymore, the very same town that I was chief of police of, the very same town, my fiance was shot and killed in. I Quit my job I wouldn’t go out for weeks. Stuck in my apartment for days on end, wouldn’t talk to anyone, I just sat in silence most days, slept on the sofa. Then Der, he told me he was coming down. I had to pull myself together, If not for my own sake. Then for dereks, cindi had just gone missing I couldn’t let him see me like that because I just knew it would break him. So I pulled myself together, there was an opening at the Bureau and I just had to take it, little did I know it was for the very same department that would help me catch my boyfriends killer my very first case at the bau, give me a chance to get some closure, Garcia asked me if that one of the victims was my boyfriend, I said no that we had broken up before then, that he had moved out. It was a complete lie, but it kept my heart safe.” 

“Y/N I had no idea.” reid says

“Look reid, all I’m trying to say is that take the time you need, but living like this is not going to fix the pain thats going on in here” I say pointing to my heart. 

“but we’ll be here every step of the way with you, whether that be donating our holidays so that we can help you get the closure you need. Because in the end the pain of losing a loved one wont go, but you learn to move on and whether that takes one week, one day, one month, one year. she’ll be with you always.” 

“thank you Y/n, I think I needed that.” 

“Don’t worry about it reid, I love you always pretty boy” and he goes into kiss me but I duck back 

“shit! I’m sorry. I’ve read all this wrong haven’t I.” 

“No, No. You haven’t read it all wrong. I just don’t think it’s the right time reid, your girlfriends just died. I’ll wait though. I can wait. I’ve waited 8 years, I can wait 8 more. I’ll wait for all the time in the world for you” 

“thank you Y/n” 

“No worries. I’m gonna go now, it’s not to do with you. I have to get back to sergio. I promised em, I would take care of him when she left for england. Keep me company. defo should not have told her about what happened with michael.” 

“so who knows then, You, emily and my therapist” 

“Y/n!” 

“what?” 

“nothing, you should take derek with you” 

“yeah, yeah okay. I’ll wake him up” 

“der, der” I say shaking him

“yeah yeah. I’m up, coming, Bye reid.”

“bye” 

⋆｡°✩

the end 

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #bau #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #derek morgan #bau!reader

[crystalirises]

Na Tinuruan Mo ang Puso Ko na Umibig na Tunay (That You Really had Taught My Heart How to Truly Fall in Love)

wawawawawawa finally wrote this!

Just a note, this is a songfic and the song used is originally sang in Filipino. The bold italicized texts are the original lyrics while the italicized lyrics within dialogue is the English translation. Also note, I did use English lyrics from a website so I want this to be clear, the English lyrics are different from the original a bit so... Even though you can't understand the song, if you want to, you can try to listen to the original song (which is in Filipino) Anyway, bye bye.

Ao3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28886223/chapters/79904587

‘Kamukha mo si Paraluman

Nu'ng tayo ay bata pa

At ang galing-galing mong sumayaw

Mapa-Boogie man o Cha-Cha’

“You looked just like Paraluman, when were kids before…” He glanced up at Fundy, his hands fidgeting against the diner table in front of him. Their song was playing in the background, memories of their youth racing through his mind. The fox hybrid glared at him from the other side of the table, arms crossed in front of his chest and with bags underneath his eyes. He didn’t know what had come over him, honestly. Meeting up with his… ex-boyfriend? Well, here they were now. In a rundown diner in the middle of the nothing-town that they both had grown up in. Both washed-up losers. “And you danced so beautifully, whether it’s Boogie or a Cha-cha.”

“You came all this way… All this way, Dream… just for that to be your first words?”

“I’m just trying to reminisce, sta一 Funds. No need to be so aggressive, it wasn’t as if you were planning on saying anything anyway.” He huffed, adjusting his hands until they were hidden inside the pockets of his sweater. Fundy’s eyes had narrowed into thin slits, no doubt at Dream’s accidental slip of an old nickname. He wasn’t sure why he still remembered it. That was such a long time ago. Both of them were practically stupid teenagers when he had dubbed his then-boyfriend with the nickname star. He didn’t even remember why he’d called Fundy that. He leaned his head against the seat, wincing at the loud groans and squeaks of the springs beneath him. Gods, he’d always hated this place. “I don’t know what to say, okay? Then that song started to play and I just said what came to mind… Look, just… let me remember who we were, okay?”

‘Ngunit ang paborito

Ay pagsayaw mo ng El Bimbo

Nakakaindak, nakakaaliw

Nakakatindig-balahibo’

He smiled, nodding along as though that was answer enough for himself. “I think my favorite was when you danced to the El Bimbo.” He glanced around the diner, glad to find that there was no one there, except for the waitress by the counter who was throwing him weird glances. He thinks he knows her, from long ago. Perhaps in high school, a familiar face who looked on at him with pity that made him want to run out of there. Still, Fundy was right in front of him, waiting for him to get to the point. “It makes me shiver, it’s like a show. It makes my hair go straight.”

‘He remembers the first time he’d seen Fundy. It had been a passing moment, a flicker of a lifetime. Yet he had paused that day, eyes drawn to the dancer upon that empty stage of their local school theater. He had disappeared into the room to escape the crowd of high school, needing a moment for himself, and that was when he looked up and saw him. A boy his age, dancing across the stage to a song that he couldn’t quite remember anymore. Fundy had never once looked his way, too enthralled in his steps and in the music to pay attention to a rowdy jock like him. He had stayed until the end, mouth hanging open in shock. His hand had made its way to his chest, his heart racing madly that he had feared it would explode. He was enraptured.’

“You’re lucky I didn’t look up that day. Imagine… being stared up by a creep!”

“I was not一 I was not being a creep.”

“You’re just lucky you’re cute.”

‘Pagkagaling sa 'skwela

Ay didiretso na sa inyo

At buong maghapon ay tinuturuan mo ako’

“After my classes were dismissed I went into your house.” Dream chuckled, shaking his head at the thought. The amount of minutes he’d spent climbing up the tree so he could scale the branch to enter Fundy’s room. He nearly once since Fundy had decided to scare him. Dream had been quick to grab onto the windowsill. “And for the whole afternoon, you taught me how to dance.”

“Gods… you fucking prick, do you know how many times my dad nearly caught you?” Fundy reached across the table, lightly smacking Dream’s hand. “He would have skinned you alive!”

“That’s why I’m still alive today, babe. Your old man’s too slow to catch me.”

‘Magkahawak ang ating kamay

At walang kamalay-malay

Na tinuruan mo ang puso ko

Na umibig na tunay’

“As we held our hands together, I had no doubt in my mind…” He remembered those long hot afternoon days, where they would dance to the beat of whatever song came on the record, their hands clasped together so gently. “That you really had taught my heart how to truly fall in love.”

‘He remembers climbing into Fundy’s window, nearly tripping against the bright orange carpet that decorated his boyfriend’s whole bedroom. They were both alone in the house, Fundy’s family being out due to a family outing that Fundy had weaseled his way out of. When he managed to get in, Fundy was already waiting for him, the radio opened to an old song that neither of them really knew the lyrics to. Fundy had smiled at him, reaching to pull him closer. Despite what people might say, when it came to dancing, Fundy always took the lead. He always did. Dream was never allowed to take the lead because dancing was Fundy’s niche and Dream was just a beginner. That one afternoon day, Fundy held his hands in his. But unlike the other times, he had a whole other plan in mind. Dream could only blink back his shock when Fundy slowly leaned in, their lips touching. It was quick, but it was enough to pull Dream in for more. So, he leaned in.’

“Our first kiss.”

“Yeah…”

“I’m surprised you still remember… Then again, I’m also not surprised.”

‘Naninigas ang aking katawan

'Pag umikot na ang plaka

Patay sa kembot ng beywang mo

At pungay ng 'yong mga mata’

“My body starts to harden when the record starts to spin.” His breath would quicken with each step they took within their dance. In that small bedroom, it felt like the whole world just melted away. Dream glanced up, smiling shyly when he caught Fundy’s eyes. He always found them to be mesmerizing, liking the way how gold seemed to glitter in them each time the sun illuminated Fundy’s whole body. “I love when your hips start to shake, as well as the sight of your eyes.”

“I do have great eyes. You loved that about me. You always spent too long staring into them like it would be your last chance to do so. Dream, you do know my eyes were just brown, right? I seriously have no idea what you’re talking about. Golden flecks? You’re too much of a romantic for your own good. Then… I always liked that about you, seeing that other side of you, the other side to the smug jock that people fawned over that it was personally nauseating to watch.” Fundy rolled his eyes from across the counter. Dream nearly jolted when Fundy suddenly stood up, leaning against the booth while he kept his gaze on him. He wrapped his arms around himself, shivering despite the warm air of the diner. None of the windows were open. It felt like he was being stripped from the inside out, like Fundy was clawing out every dirty detail that Dream had acquired over the past years of his miserable life. “I… You and me… wow, how did we even—”

“I don’t regret it. You and me. I never once regretted it.” Dream wanted so much to reach out, to clasp a hand on Fundy’s shoulder or even pull him into an embrace. But he couldn’t bring himself to. He couldn’t. He settled deeper into his seat, resting a hand on the back of his neck. “I regret many of my decisions in life. But falling in love with you… was probably the only good choice I ever made. I would never regret falling in love with you, and I hope… you never once regretted falling in love with me. I loved you with all my heart, Fundy. I loved you so much.”

‘Lumiliwanag ang buhay

Habang tayo'y magkaakbay

At dahan-dahang dumudulas

Ang kamay ko sa makinis mong braso, hoo’

“My life just gets brighter while we're holding hands with each other.” Those had been the best moments of his life. Though what they had only lasted for a few years, it was real. Dream thought it was real. During those afternoons where he would come to visit Fundy, he felt like he could leave his troubles at the window. When they danced, it was just them. The world would never know who they were, would never know the dances and talks they shared. No one could judge them, or mock them, or expect more from them. They were just two teens crazy in love with each other. But all good things must come to an end. Dream lowered his gaze, swallowing down the bitterness in his throat. He remembered that night so clearly, remembered the tears they both had cried. “And slowly, I lose my grip when my hand starts to slip on your shoulder.”

‘It had been a rainy night, cliche but Dream didn’t really find it all that funny. High school was over, and it was time they moved on. Fundy had barely even looked at him the entire time, maybe he was terrified of what Dream would do, but Dream was too busy holding back his own tears. Of course he had expected it. He knew it was coming, he just didn’t think it would be so soon and so sudden. Fundy had apologized, stating that his family was sending him to a faroff college, one that Dream would never be able to get into no matter how hard he tried. It was officially over.’

“I broke up with you.”

“You did… It hurt. It still does.”

“I know.”

‘Sana noon pa man ay sinabi na sa iyo

Kahit hindi na uso ay ito lang ang alam ko’

“I wish that at that time I had told you what I felt.” Dream wished he’d told him how much he loved him. If he had, then maybe… “Even if it's not popular, this is the only thing that I know—”

“Shut up.” He startled, flinching once he realized that Fundy was moving closer. Dream paused once he realized that Fundy was reaching out a hand towards him. “One last dance, Dream?”

“I’d die to have one last dance, Fundy.” He looked down at Fundy’s hand, glancing at the harshness of his palms. Fundy used to have the softest hands, but the years have changed that. Dream hesitantly placed his hand on Fundy’s, pulling himself off his seat before swaying gently to the music. Fundy held onto his hands, a small content smile on his face. Dream could feel the waitress’ gaze on the back of his head, but there and now, he could have cared less. He wanted this last dance before he went to leave again. He wished he could have more than one last dance.

‘Magkahawak ang ating kamay

At walang kamalay-malay

Na tinuruan mo ang puso ko

Na umibig na tunay’

“As we held our hands together, I had no doubt in my mind…” Dream could feel the tears fall past his cheeks, gasping for air. “That you really had taught my heart how to truly fall in love.”

La la la la, la la, la la, la la la

He held on tightly to Fundy’s hands, wishing for that moment to last forever. They danced together, swaying to the tune of the music. Even if the diner hadn’t been empty, Dream would have danced with Fundy if he’d asked. He would have jumped at the chance to dance with again. The song finished, and Dream collapsed back into his seat. It was their song that was playing.

‘Lumipas ang maraming taon

'Di na tayo nagkita

Balita ko'y may anak ka na

Ngunit walang asawa’

“And many years had passed by, we didn’t see each other anymore.” He started shakily, waking himself. “I heard from somewhere that you have a child… but you don't have a husband.”

‘Taga-hugas ka raw ng pinggan sa may Ermita

At isang gabi'y nasagasaan sa isang madilim na eskinita

Lahat ng pangarap ko'y bigla lang natunaw

Sa panaginip na lang pala kita maisasayaw’

“They said you wash the plates in a place called Ermita, and one day, there was an accident that happened on a very dark alleyway.” His head felt heavy, like a hammer was beating in a nail against the back. Dream rested his head against the cool table. He couldn’t bear to look up again. He couldn’t look up again. For his own sake, he couldn’t. “All my hopes for the future had just started to melt away. I guess my dreams are the only place where I could dance with you again.”

‘Magkahawak ang ating kamay

At walang kamalay-malay

Na tinuruan mo ang puso ko

Na umibig na tunay’

“As we held our hands together, I had no doubt in my mind that you really had taught my heart how to truly fall in love.” Still, Dream would hold onto the memories of them. The kinder times.

‘Magkahawak ang ating kamay

At walang kamalay-malay

Na tinuruan mo ang puso ko

Na umibig na tunay’

As we held our hands together

I had no doubt in my mind

That you really had taught my heart

How to truly fall in love

La la la la, la la, la la, la la la

La la la la, la la, la la, la la la

“He talked about you a lot.”

Dream looked up, the waitress was holding a box of tissues towards him.

“He did?”

“He did.”

Dream reached for the box of tissues, his heart burning with ache.

“I just wish…”

“I understand. I wish he was still here too. He was… He is my best friend.”

The waitress wiped her tears away with the back of her hand.

“I… We used to date. It’s stupid but… I miss him.”

“I do too. Yogurt, Fundy’s son, he’s devastated.”

“He’s young, and he’s already lost his dad.”

Dream glanced down at the box of tissues, forcing a smile on his face. “That’s why I’m here.”

“Be good to him, or I will hunt you down and kill you.”

He laughed at that, reaching for one of the tissues. “Thank you, Miss…?”

“Niki. It’s Niki.”

She reached down, patting his shoulder.

She gave him a bittersweet smile.

“Fundy would have… He trusted you. So, be good to Yogurt for him, please.”

“I will.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Killed off Fundy, not feeling good ;-;

Also Yogurt is mentioned but not significant, I'm so sorry Yogurt ;-;

Also rip the imagery of Dream dancing alone in the middle of an empty diner ;-;

#fundy #dream dsmp #fundywastaken #dsmp fanfiction #dsmp #rip the tags they be disappearing lmao

[sicparvismorrigan]

Crisis of Faith

The will of God brings a young and impressionable Trinity soldier to the attention of Commander Konstantin.

Tomb Raider/Rise of the Tomb Raider/Konstantin

Viewpoint: 3rd person female Trinity soldier OC

Warnings: blood, descriptions of violence, PTSD, religious fanaticism, stigmata

Word count: ~2.5k [complete]

A short fic I wrote because I wanted to play with Konstantin’s heavily religious side.

Read on Ao3

Death.

Ailish sat up on her cot, freezing cold. She was drenched in sweat and panting heavily. It was pitch black in the gulag and she tried to slow her breathing so she wouldn’t wake her comrades. She listened carefully, there was snoring coming from all directions. Nobody had heard her, not yet.

She was safe. She was surrounded by big men with weapons, nothing could hurt her here. All the prisoners were securely locked up. Ailish reached down and felt the comforting cool steel of her own pistol in its holster.

She breathed in deep and counted 1...2...3... before breathing out again. Her pulse was still racing and she could feel her heart trying to leap out of her ribcage.

Safe. I’m safe.

It had been nearly two years since Yamatai and Ailish still had nightmares. She knew exactly what it was: Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. She had heard the guys talk, knew some of them struggled too. She had seen a few get discharged because of it. She’d spent a long time trying to convince herself she was fine. But in fact, she really wasn’t.

She needed air. Ailish quietly got out of her cot and shrugged on a few more layers before making sure her pistol was strapped to her body, just in case. She tiptoed past the guys by the light from her torch, and made her way out to the old guardhouse that was their temporary mess area. She just wanted some space to calm down.

Empty, thank God. The embers of the fire were enough to keep the warmth going. She pulled up a chair and settled in to watch the glow.

She kept replaying the last moments of her nightmare over and over in her head, despite trying her best to push it away. They were in that god-awful pit again, suffocating from the fumes. She checked ahead and yelled Clear! back to her second, Charlie. As he moved past her she heard something big land on the rock of the cavern floor behind them. Charlie swung back around and screamed at her to get down as a God-awful roar filled the cave, rattling her bones. He raised his gun to fire and Ailish shrieked at him stopitsgonnablow-

bang bang

 

BOOM

A flash of white light, then darkness. Waking up in terror once again from the memories that haunted her every night. At least she was alive, she had made it out. Charlie hadn’t, she couldn’t save him. She still blamed herself. The guys had tried to convince her again and again it was an accident, but she should have been there. In her dreams, she’d seen Charlie die a hundred times over, each more horrible than the last.

She had never been so close to quitting as she had after Yamatai. She had composed her resignation letter in her head on the helicopter ride back to civilization, but had never written it. Something told her it wasn’t time yet. She’d spent just over three years working with Trinity at that point and never questioned her beliefs before the clean-up mission to that hellhole. By all accounts it was even worse during the Nishimura expedition. She shuddered, it didn’t bear thinking about, how anyone could survive there for any length of time she’d never know. So many bodies. And in some places, the smell, it was unholy.

It didn’t help her sleep at night, but at least she had got a promotion out of it. The salary was great, which was a major reason for her staying put. Ailish was trying to help her parents put her younger sister through Yale, and every cent counted. Her mom and dad had just been grateful, and thankfully hadn’t yet asked where the money had come from. She didn’t want to have to lie. They’d hit the roof if they ever found out. As far as they were concerned, she was still working as a paralegal in Chicago. God, she missed her sister. She hadn’t seen her in months, and now Ailish was off-grid in Siberia. Freezing cold, snowy, desolate Siberia.

She was startled out of her thoughts by a voice outside. A deep voice, American accent. It sounded a lot like the Commander. She really hoped he wouldn’t come into the guardhouse. He was intimidating, and she’d never been in a room alone with him before. He sounded like he was talking on the phone.

“...and what did the doctor say?”

...

“Okay...Ana, are you smoking?”

...

“Yeah, I know, but-“

...

“Listen, she’s on the move. She may even already be in Siberia. I need you back here.”

...

“Got it, see you soon.”

 

Who was Ana? Was it his wife, girlfriend, daughter? Who was the other ‘she’ he was talking about?

Ailish heard footsteps coming up to the door and the latch lifting. Oh boy, here we go. I wasn’t eavesdropping, Commander, I swear.

He stopped dead when she saw her at the table. Obviously not expecting anyone else to be awake at this hour. He slid the cellphone he was carrying into a pocket and nodded at her before closing the door behind him. “Sergeant.”

“Evening-“ Ailish checked her watch. “Ah, morning, Commander. Sorry, sir. I’ll get out of your way.” She slid her chair back to leave.

“Stay. You were here first.” Ailish sat back down immediately, wide-eyed. “What are you doing up so late?”

“I couldn’t sleep, sir.” Not strictly true but she didn’t want to feel like a little schoolkid telling her superior she had a bad dream.

“Likewise.” He pulled up the chair opposite her and sat down with a sigh.

Something was bothering him, he seemed fidgety. Ailish didn’t really know what to do so she started twiddling her thumbs and rambling to fill the silence. “Gee, the weather’s really turned these past few days, huh? Ha ha...kind of makes me wish we were back in Syria. Although it was almost too hot-“

He cut her off. “Moscovitch, isn’t it?”

“Yes, sir.”

“We’re not on duty, you don’t have to call me sir.”

“Uh- yes. Okay, si- eh...Command- uhmm...”

“Konstantin is fine.”

“Okay.” It felt weird. Ailish wasn’t even sure if that was his first or last name. “You can call me Ailish. It’s slightly less of a mouthful than Moscovitch.”

“Don’t hear that name very often.”

“Yeah, it’s a weird one...my parents have always had this fascination with Ireland. It means ‘noble and kind’ or something like that...I dunno...”

He looked at her for a long moment. Ailish opened her mouth to speak again when a wolf howled up in the mountains. She grabbed for her pistol and her other hand tightened on the edge of the table until her knuckles turned white.

Konstantin saw her reaction and frowned. “Relax, it’s just a wolf, they don’t come down here-“

“Yeah, I know.” She started hyperventilating and bit her lip hard to fight back the tears. For God’s sake, don’t cry in front of the Commander. She hated hearing the wolves at night. Rationally, she knew they were miles away, but the sound still caused her pain.

For a moment she was back on Yamatai, wedged in a rocky crevice listening to the snarling as they hunted for her. The smell of rain, tree sap and decay all around. Her hands shaking as she pointed her rifle at the opening, just waiting for jaws and teeth to emerge around the corner and grab at her.

“Oh, shit.” This was going to be a bad episode. She’d had panic attacks increasingly often and could spot the signs of one approaching. Fortunately they usually hit when she was alone or could sneak away, but now she had no such luxury. Ailish knew this one had her beat.

Konstantin’s mouth tightened. “Language.”

She had time to blurt out “Terribly sorry sir!” before she slid off the chair onto the floor and crawled under the table.

The tears were now pouring out and rolling down her cheeks. What an embarrassment. She’d fought so hard to prove she was equal to the guys, and now she was being a silly little girl.

She felt the Commander’s boot gently tapping her back. “Mos- Ailish? Are you okay?”

“I will be, in a minute.” She panted.

Through the panic she heard the other chair scraping backwards. To her surprise Konstantin crouched and got down to her level under the table, facing her. Was he supposed to do that?

“You’ve normally got it together, Moscovitch.” Oh no, back on a last name basis. She’d definitely messed up. “Want to tell me what’s going on?”

Ailish shook her head, squeezing her eyes shut. “Just need a sec.”

The only sounds in the room were her panting and the low crackle of logs in the burner. She felt his gloved hand on her shoulder.

He quietly spoke. “Listen, I read the Yamatai report.” It was strange, how calming his voice was.

Ailish looked up, misty-eyed. “Yeah?”

He nodded. “I didn’t know they’d be sending a woman.”

“I’m just as capable-“

“Quiet. I’m saying it’s impressive you completed the mission, and even led part of the way, that place sounded like a nightmare.”

“It was.” Charlie, I should have saved you.

“And I am sorry you lost Corporal Collins. I know you were close.”

“Yeah...” she sniffed loudly. Her heart still hurt, so much. “He was like a brother. Charlie would have done anything for me. And I would have done the same for him.”

His eyes softened. “I know what that’s like.”

It meant a lot to Ailish, getting commiserations from a Trinity leader. Normally, you could forget about that sort of thing. Rourke had co-ordinated the Yamatai mission and hadn’t said a word to her when he had met them back on the mainland for debriefing. Dominguez had been silent too, though he had been one of those who had approved her promotion. They could be a heartless, insensitive bunch sometimes.

But she hadn’t expected the Commander to have a soft side. He actually reminded her of Charlie. Konstantin had a scarred-up face but there were similarities for sure. Blonde hair, blue eyes, they walked with the same purpose. He wasn’t bad-looking actually, as long as the light was dim.

Ailish eventually rallied and crawled back into her chair, still breathing quickly. Konstantin sat down too, regarding her with something akin to concern.

“Tell me the real reason you’re here by yourself in the middle of the night.”

She swallowed hard. “I...I have nightmares still.”

He shook his head. “I think you should talk to someone about this. If you’re serious about staying with Trinity. It would be a shame to bail out now that you’re a Sergeant.”

“I’m fine.” Ailish mumbled.

“You’re really not. I know someone who might be able to help, a doctor.”

“No, honestly...” Please no doctors, they might kick her out. She needed the money for Ellen’s tuition, she had to stay.

“I trust her, she’s with Trinity. Her name’s Wilkens. If I order you to see her you can’t say no.”

“Then I suppose it’s settled.” Great, just great.

“Indeed.”

He suddenly pulled his gloves off and took her hand in his. Ailish fought not to pull back out of his grasp. Was this really appropriate? Her free hand was reaching for her pistol when she realised he was just checking her pulse.

“Much better. Almost back to normal.”

She managed a small smile. “Thank you Commander.”

Ailish realised her hand felt strange under his, like a bug was crawling on her. She glanced down and started. “Your...uh, your hand is bleeding.”

Fresh blood was running down between her fingers onto the table. It was creepy as hell, she tried not to shiver. She’d been a bit squeamish about blood since she’d seen a literal underground river of it in Japan.

He didn’t react, just looked straight into her eyes. Ailish didn’t know what he expected her to do. She could still feel it trickling down her skin. Was he not alarmed that his hand had just started pouring blood? She was becoming visibly uncomfortable when he finally answered her.

“They’re old wounds. It happens sometimes.” He held up his other hand, palm facing towards her. “See?” That one was also dripping crimson.

Ailish almost gagged. Ugh, now she knew why he wore gloves all the time, even in the heat of Syria. What was the name for those wounds? Stigmata, or something like that. A sign of divine favour, apparently.

The urge to ask how he got them was overwhelming. Actually, she better not, it was maybe a touchy subject. The Commander could be...violent. She’d seen what he could do when he was pissed off. She had the fleeting thought that maybe he would hurt her, or worse, if the mood took him. Everyone else was asleep, who would know?

He spoke, jolting her back to reality. “Did you pray on Yamatai, Ailish?”

She nodded, not breaking the eye contact. “Yes sir, for my life, almost constantly.”

“And you truly believe in what we are trying to accomplish?”

“Yes sir.”

“Hmmm...”

There was a long pause, he seemed to be having an internal conversation she wasn’t privy to. Finally he nodded. “Keep your faith, Ailish. You have already been tested, and you’re still here. I believe you are destined for something greater, like myself.”

“Sir?”

He smiled at her, but it was cold and calculating, he reminded her of a shark. His eyes were suddenly dark and empty. 

“The name Ailish is Celtic, yes. But did you know it has a different meaning in Hebrew?”

“You know Hebrew?” She asked in surprise. He ignored her.

“Your name means consecrated to God.”

She wasn’t sure she liked his train of thought. Ailish knew he was one of the more devout members of Trinity, but she didn’t know how deep it ran.

“I’m sorry, Commander, I’m not sure what you’re getting at...”

“I want to keep a closer eye on you, Sergeant. You report directly to me now, do you understand?”

“Yes sir.” She nodded, albeit reluctantly.

“And let me talk to Wilkens. We’ll help you, don’t skip out on Trinity yet.” He finally let go of her bloodstained hand. Ailish could smell it, metallic.

Konstantin stood up, pulling his gloves on. “I have a feeling we’re going to need you for something important.”

Ailish was dumbfounded, what had she agreed to? She didn’t like not knowing, but the Commander wasn’t a man you just said no to.

As he opened the door with a blast of cold air Konstantin turned back, giving her that empty smile again. “Get some sleep, Sergeant. That’s an order.”

“O...kay.” The door clicked shut, and he was gone.

Ailish glanced down at the mess on her hand. She felt like she’d been marked in some way.

Stigmata.

What did he mean?

Consecrated to God. What was it that Konstantin, or some other higher power had planned for her?

What was her purpose?

***

Thank you for reading!

~ Anyone who has read Behind Trinity Lines will recognise the character of Dr. Joanna Wilkens, I couldn’t not include her somehow! She is awesome and I love her. All credit to @BrittanyTheScrivener on Ao3 for Jo’s character. Her work is brilliant, if you haven’t read it I highly suggest you do

~ Sergeant Ailish Moscovitch, her family and Corporal Charlie Collins are my characters, all other characters mentioned are property of the Tomb Raider creative team and I take no ownership of them

~ I feel I should mention that nothing in this work is intended to cause offence or be blasphemous in any way. I myself am not religious at all but I am respectful of those who choose to be and anything I’ve written is only exploring character traits already displayed in the Tomb Raider video games

~ I have no current plans to update this with more chapters, it was intended to be a one-shot. I just really wanted to play with Konstantin’s heavily religious side. But if there is interest I might continue the story...what exactly does Konstantin have planned for Ailish? Where does she fit in with the events in Rise of the Tomb Raider? What will Ana think of her? What would happen if Ailish and Lara ever crossed paths? This could get interesting...

#not uncharted #tomb raider #rise of the tomb raider #trinity #fanfiction #tomb raider fanfiction #konstantin #my writing #the very first fanfic I ever wrote #tw: blood #tw: ptsd #tw: religious trauma #so extra with the little picture i made #lara croft #konstantin x female oc #konstantin is not averse to human sacrifice #just putting that out there #my fanfiction #probably nobody will read this but i dont care #i gotta thing for men with high hairlines #crisis of faith

[fanficsaremylifeline]

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Harley Keener/Peter Parker, Harley Keener & Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Morgan Stark (Marvel Cinematic Universe), Ned Leeds & Peter Parker Characters: Peter Parker, Harley Keener, May Parker (Spider-Man), Happy Hogan, Morgan Stark (Marvel Cinematic Universe), Tony Stark, Pepper Potts, James "Bucky" Barnes, Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanov (Marvel), Clint Barton, Wanda Maximoff, Ned Leeds, J. Jonah Jameson Summary:

Things really couldn't be better: Harley, who Peter met at MIT, was finally his boyfriend and, just like Peter, he also got a place for his practical semester in NYC. Things are a little weird, when that place just happens to be at SI as well, because apparently Harley and Tony are similarly close as Peter is with his Irondad. To keep things from getting too mixed up, they decide to keep their relationship to themselves. After all, what could possibly go wrong?

***

“Come on Pete, get up!”, Harley called and almost immediately a pillow hit Peter in the head.

“I'm up”, he groaned, but before he could open his eyes, another pillow hit him right in the face. “What the fuck, dude?”

“Good, you're awake”, Harley grinned, that damn shit-eating grin. “Come on, get dressed I'd like to get going.”

“What's your rush?” Begrudgingly, Peter rolled over, just enough so his feet would dangle out of the bed. “We're on holiday, you... you...” Damnit, Peter couldn't even think of an insult.

“Wow, your intelligence is really sexy”, Harley deadpanned and, with the shake of his head he tossed a bundle of clothes on the bed. “You're not getting into my car naked”, he made clear.

“You wish, Keener”, he grinned back, before he got himself dressed.

The last few weeks have been pretty fun. Peter had seen Harley in a few lectures; with them both majoring in engineering, it was natural that they had to sit through a few of the same profs. It wasn't until a house party that they properly met, though. Even though he did not want to go, Ned somehow convinced Peter to come along. College parties were however quite annoying, since Peter couldn't get drunk. Thank you, spider-metabolism... So, as usually when Ned dragged him somewhere people were drinking, Peter ended up on the couch in the corner, earplugs in so the noise and music wouldn't hurt his brain too much, all that with his homework.

“You're seriously doing homework? At a party?”

Peter looked up to find Harley standing in front of him.

“Didn't want to come in the first place if I'm being honest”, he just shrugged and, as Harley sat himself down besides Peter it seemed as if their conversation was gonna be a little more than just small talk, so he closed his book.

“Anyway I can lighten up your night then?”, he grinned over and Peter couldn't help the flush and the awkward smile spreading over his face.

“I think it already has.”

Oh fuck, that was cheesy. Thankfully, Harley didn't seem to think so, as his cheeks blushed ever so slightly.

Shit, was Peter supposed to continue flirting with that quite gorgeous guy? As good as he might be at saving the world or engineering, he was downright horrible at flirting. But, thanks to his lucky star or guardian angel, Peter didn't have to.

“It's not really my thing, either. But there's this really nice bar just around the corner.”

That was Peter being asked out, right? “Sounds good”, he grinned.

“Great”, Harley smiled back and got up. “Come on, then. My treat.”

And ever since then they were... Peter wasn't sure. Yes, they went out a lot, but Peter wasn't certain if it were actually dates. They haven't had the talk yet, so for now Peter was gonna go with the step between friends with benefits and actual boyfriends. They probably should talk about it...

“Come on, you can have breakfast in the car, traffic's gonna be a bitch and I would like to reach New York today.”

“Yes sir”, Peter grumbled and pulled his shirt over his head.

“That you could have left off”, Harley smirked.

“Tough”, Peter shot back and grabbed his bag. “We going or what?”

Not that Peter or Harley knew too much about the other, but Peter had found out that Harley moved to New York. Which was pretty nice. It meant on the one hand that Peter had a a lift back home. But what was even better, was that they both had an internship for their practical semester there. Apparently, Harley's boss was an old friend who had offered him a job. Great for Harley and great for Peter, giving him more than enough chances to hang out. Or were they more than that? They had barely left Massachusetts, when Peter couldn't hold the curiosity in any longer.

“Are we dating?”, he blurted out, turning to Harley with wide eyes.

“Uhm, I think so”, he answered. “Are we?”

“I mean...” By now Peter was blushing redder than his spider-suit. “I kinda hope so”, he eventually got out and couldn't help the awkward grin.

“Well, Peter, I gotta say, your timing is horrible.”

“What? Why?” Damnit, Peter thought Harley felt the same way!

“Because I would have liked to seal you officially being my boyfriend by kissing you which is a little hard to do, while we're on the fucking highway and I have to focus on the road.”

“Awww!”, Peter squealed and leaned over just enough to put a peck on Harley's cheek. “You think that's enough for now?”

“For now”, Harley smiled. “I still might pull over at the next motorway station, just to make sure...”

.

“My house is that one over there”, Peter gestured at the Parker's apartment building.

“Right then.” As they came to a hold in front of the door, Harley smiled over.

“Thank you so very much for the lift.”

“Anything for my boyfriend”, Harley beamed.

“I kinda feel compelled to ask you to come upstairs with me, join me for a cup of coffee. It would include meeting my aunt, though.”

“Next time, ok?”

“Sure thing.” Peter was honestly a little glad. Aunt May will like Harley, there was not a doubt in his mind, but Aunt May wasn't the only one Harley had to meet. How in the hell was Peter gonna break him being family with the Starks and the Avengers? Hell, how is Peter going to break to Harley, his boyfriend, that he's Spider-Man? “It's not like we need to hurry, is it? We've got our entire semester here in NY together, there's no need to rush into anything.”

“Yeah”, Harley smiled, and what a beautiful smile that was. “Oh hey, since I'm pretty new in town, you perhaps know any nice places this city has to offer?” And like that, the sweet, beautiful smile turned into a flirty grin.

“Depends, what'd you want to do?”

“Well you know, there's this guy... We've been going out for a while, but now we made it official and a native New Yorker like you might have an idea where I could take him.”

“Oh really?”, Peter grinned back, “well he surely is a lucky guy.”

“Tell me about it, he really hit the jackpot.” And there was that damn shit-eating grin again.

Well, there was only one way to get rid of it. Peter cupped Harley's face and pulled him in for a kiss. A fantastic, time-stopping, world-ending, hair-raising kiss.

“Message me when you got to your place, ok?”, Peter mumbled.

“Promise”, he nodded and, after one, maybe two (ok, four) more pecks, Peter got out and waved after the car, until it disappeared in traffic.

That was his boyfriend. HIS BOYFRIEND! Peter skipped up the stairs and almost ripped their apartment door out of its hinges in excitement.

“Pete, honey!” May gracefully played over the almost needed reparations and welcomed him with open arms and Peter flung himself right into his aunt's embrace, thusly starting quite the amalgamation of I-love-yous, I-missed-you, I-missed-you-more, and oh so many hugs. All that only ended, when a harrumph interrupted them.

“Happy”, Peter grinned, when he identified the voice behind him and turned to hug him right away.

“Pete, it's great to see you”, he laughed. “Had a good drive?”

“Oh, yes”, Peter nodded, trying his hardest not to grin like the love-sick idiot he was. It as the absolutely perfect drive, and damn, he was so smitten and infatuated, he just wanted to call Harley right away, even if he only had seen him like ten minutes ago.

“Seems like it. I'm really happy your friend could give you a lift”, May smiled. “Didn't he want to come upstairs?”

“He still has a bit to drive. Don't worry, you'll meet him soon enough.” Mostly, because I can't wait to see him again...

“Right. Before you tell us some more, you might want to call Tony”, Happy suggested. “He's still a little pissed he didn't get to pick you up.”

“Well, I won't want to let him wait then”, Peter grinned and made for the privacy of his room, before opening up facetime and calling his favourite Stark.

“PETEY!”, Morgan squealed as she answered his call. “Are you in New York again?”

“Hi Mo”, he beamed back, “yeah, I just arrived and wanted to check in with my favourite Avenger.”

“But Daddy says I can't be an Avenger”, she moped.

“We just don't tell Dad.”

“What won't you tell Dad?” Tony's voice came from the off somewhere. Leaving Morgan no chance to explain and talk her and Peter's way out of it, he continued right away: “would you please tell Mr Parker that if he doesn't even bother to call his boss, he can kiss his internship goodbye.”

“You got that?”, she asked, her eyebrow raised in all the Stark-fashion.

“Yeah”, he snorted, “please tell Mr Stark that I love him too, but if he's that difficult before I've even started, I might just call up Reed Richards. Or maybe I'll just send an application to... OsCorp”, he added with a chirp.

“Oh, you little sh...” Tony jumped in front of the camera, ready to disinherit and cuss Peter out, when he remembered his daughter next to him. “You are a horrible person.”

“Mo, didn't he get his hot chocolate today?”, Peter asked her, completely ignoring the fake-angry Ironman. “You know that he gets cranky when he doesn't get his hot choc.”

“I'm not responsible for him”, Morgan made clear.

“We both know he can't look after himself”, Peter sighed. “Don't worry, darling, I'm back for the next half year, so you're not alone with him any more.”

“Thank you, you're the best!”

“You know I can hear you”, Tony deadpanned, looking from one to the other.

“Good, so you remembered your aids”, Peter snorted, before he could stop himself.

Morgan burst out laughing and Tony's face just dropped.

“Right then, sweetie, I think I'd better go”, Peter gulped. “So Mr Stark, let me just say beforehand that I am so honoured that you accepted my application and I cannot wait to start my internship in two weeks. Mo, our plans for tomorrow are still on?”

“Sure are”, she giggled, while Tony was still caught in his dumbfounded shock. “Can't wait!”

“Me neither. Alright, get our old man to bed, alright?”

“See you tomorrow! Love you!” With that she shot some kissy-faces towards the camera, and Peter parroted.

“Love you, too.”

And, before Tony could react, Peter waved and hung up on the call.

.

Tony: You're a little shit, Parker.

Peter: Yeah...

Tony: At least you know...

Tony: Glad to have you back in reach though. See you tomorrow?

Peter: I'll come over after breakfast

Tony: Good. I love you, kiddo

Peter: I love you, too <3

.

Harley: Hey Peter :) So, driving through New York is a nightmare!!! I'm finally at my place, though and everything's alright :)

Peter: then I'm happy :D

Harley: things at home good?

Peter: yeah, my aunt's happy to have me home again and I am, too

Peter: how're things at your new place?

Harley: it's all good

Harley: my friend's a bit overeager, there was probably no need for me to pack anything...

Peter: so you rushing me out of bed this morning... that WASN'T overeager?

Harley: That was a 4/10

Peter: 4? Dude, what's your scale like?

Harley: dude? That how you talk to your boyfriend?

Peter: yeah ;)

Peter: Dude, but like romantically :)

Harley: aww! * heart eyes *

*

What a lovely day for a swing towards the compound. The sun was shining, the March air was cool, but thankfully, there was this nice heater installed.

Since the door was for losers, Peter happily scaled the compound's wall and, instead of climbing onto the balcony and make at least a bit of a proper entrance, he knocked on Morgan's window.

“HIIII!”, she squealed as she let him inside. Peter had barely made it in, when she already tackle-hugged him, all but pushing Peter back out of the window.

“Hey Mo”, he laughed, once he found his balance. “I missed you so much.” He leaned down, just enough to put a kiss on her head.

“I missed you more. Come on, Daddy will be really happy to see you!” She grabbed Peter's hand and pulled him out into the living room. “DAAAAADDYYYY!” Wow. That cry could wake the dead.

“Honey, what have we said about the indoor voi... Oh, would you look at that.” Tony walked up to them and, as soon as he saw Peter, he stopped in his movements, crossed his arms in front of his chest. All that of course with the signature raised eyebrow.

“Good morning, sir”, Peter smiled, trying his all to sound nice and proper. “There is no need to worry, there was only a masked man climbing into your eight-year-old daughter's bedroom.”

“Peter. Stop creeping me out and get over here.” Tony rolled his eyes and held his arms out. Letting go of Morgan's hand, Peter was in his arms in two big strides. “Missed you, kiddo.”

“I better enjoy it as long as that feeling lasts, because that might sound a little differently in like four months.”

“I don't think it'll take that long”, Tony scoffed and put his arm around Peter, giving Morgan another free arm to hold on to.

“Daddy's only kidding”, Morgan made clear as she looked up with big eyes. “We'll never ever get tired of you.”

“Aww!” Peter had known it as soon as he met her, but in moments like these it was even more clear: there was nothing he wouldn't do for that girl. “I love you too, honey.”

“Good. Now, there's a lot to do. You need to tell us all about MIT and oh! I gotta show you!” Before Peter really knew it, she pulled him out of Tony's hold and into the kitchen. “LOOK!”

Excitedly, she pointed at the fridge, where right next to the picture of Peter at his graduation her current report card was pinned on. Since she was the daughter of Tony and Pepper it wasn't all that surprising to see her acing everything, Peter was still so incredibly proud.

“Oh wow! Straight As, that's amazing!” He wrapped his arms around her, lifted her up and spun her around, getting out all the squeals, just lighting up his everything. Thanks to Peter's super-strength, he actually could still properly spin her and throw her around and Morgan loved it to no end.

“Please don't kill my daughter”, Tony called over from the living room.

“You never let me do anything fun”, Peter moaned, walking back over with Morgan giggling as he dangled her off his back.

“I know, I'm such a monster.”

“Dad, can we go and say hi to Mummy?”

“You can go and say hi, if Pete wants to. Just don't make too much drama, and kiddo, you gotta change first.”

Yeah, Tony might have a point there. Wouldn't want to let all of SI know about that secret identity...

So, a few minutes later, Peter and Morgan skipped towards the SI offices, as Morgan caught him up on all the gossip in the building. At least all the gossip a third-grader could gather up. That was mostly limited to the ongoing cookie-war between Bucky and Thor. It didn't seem like the decision who was truly the best baking Avenger was made any time soon. Nobody in the building was complaining though, there were more than enough delicious baked goods for everybody.

“And promise you won't tell Daddy, but Uncle Rhodey let me fly a bit with him.”

“No.” With wide eyes, he turned to her. “Really? You got to fly with Uncle Rhodey?”

“It was sooo cool!”, she beamed up, “we did two rounds around the compound and we even flew a loop!”

“Omigod, I want to do that, too! I never flew with Uncle Rhodey.”

“But you can almost fly yourself”, she shrugged and pulled him along the corridor.

“I guess... I can't do loops though.”

“You'll have to negotiate with Uncle Rhodey.” And with that she burst into her Mum's office, pulling Peter behind her. “Hi Mum! Look who's here!”

“Pete, so good to see you”, she smiled and got up to greet him properly with a hug. “You good?”

“Very much so. And you?”

“Me too. I'm actually working on your paperwork right now”, Pepper grinned.

“Huh... Getting serious.”

“It is. But for now enjoy that bit of break you have. I assume that you'll spend that time either with the little Miss here or in the lab with Tony.”

“Yes he is”, Morgan answered instead of him.

“You heard her Highness”, Peter chuckled.

“And we wanted to come say hello to you, and I already told him about the cookie war, so we'll go to the Avengers now and get cookies, and then Peter can say hello to them.”

“Sounds good, but Dad said he's gonna cook dinner, so we might wanna go easy on the cookies”, Peter threw in.

“You're boring”, Morgan decided.

“But he's right”, Pepper made clear. “You can go and say hi to Uncle Thor and them, but leave the cookies for dessert.”

“Fine”, the girl moaned.

“Bring some for the rest of us, too, ok?”

“Sure thing”, Peter grinned, held his hand out and together they skipped through the compound, enjoying plenty of hugs, and maybe one too many cookies, before making their way back to the penthouse.

“You're just in time”, Tony greeted them.

“We got dessert.” Proudly, Morgan held the baggie of cookies out to Tony, as they made their way into the dining room.

“That is amazing”, Tony goggled and shot his daughter the widest smile. “You're the best.”

“I know”, she grinned.

“Yep, that's my girl alright”, he chuckled and handed Peter a stack of plates.

“Five plates? I know Happy's on a date, but is Rhodey eating with us?”

“No, there's someone else you got to meet. Remember, I told you about the kid with the potatogun?”

“Yeah”, Peter nodded.

“Well, he's here for an internship as well. 'bout your age, also at MIT and well, it's high-time you two met”, Tony explained, as he put the forks and knives down.

“Cool”, Peter nodded. He was always down to meet nerds like himself. And, if Tony liked the guy enough to invite him to eat together, he was probably a cool guy Peter could get along with.

“Ah, speak of the devil”, Tony smiled, as the elevator door pinged.

Who walked into the room was not anybody Peter had expected though. “Pete, meet Harley. Harley, that's Peter”, Tony introduced them and Peter caught his face falling a little too late. It wasn't just any Harley, it was Peter's Harley. His boyfriend. Who Tony didn't know about.

“Uhm hi”, he grinned awkwardly at Harley, who clearly fought hard against the blush.

“Hi Peter.” He bit down a grin as he held his hand out. “It's so nice to meet you.”

“Likewise”, Peter all but giggled as he shook the outstretched hand.

“Guys, can we eat? I'm hungry!”, Morgan moaned, thankfully interrupting the awkwardness.

“How? You just had cookies.”

“Seriously? You go and eat all the cookies, while I'm slaving in the kitchen for you kids?” With the most dramatic expression he could muster up, Tony clutched his chest. “That is how you thank me?”

“I will always be hungry enough for your food”, she beamed up at him and, when Peter finally managed to break eye contact with Harley, he could see Tony melting right there in front of them. It was delightful.

Or well, it would be, if he didn't feel Harley's eyes on him, especially once they got themselves seated, with his boyfriend right opposite Peter. Thankfully, Morgan was giddy enough to pull all the attention toward herself and away from the boyfriends, looking everywhere but the other.

This was so weird. In the initial surprise of finding out that the potatogunkid, Peter had heart so much about, was his boyfriend, it didn't even occur to either one to tell the truth. But the longer that it lasted, the more Peter's insecurity grew.. Weren't they going to tell the truth? Peter was not sure if it was something he wanted right now, given that their relationship was really new. Like 24 hours new.

“I gotta say, I'm surprised you two haven't met yet”, Tony commented when he eventually got a word in.

Neither seemed to be sure how to continue with that, as they both just looked at Tony with wide eyes.

“What?”, Tony shot back. “If you two knew each other it would have come up; Peter's told me so much about his group of friends, I feel like I know everything about Tommy and Jacob and Brianna and the oh so pretty and intelligent Allison...” He shot Peter some eyebrow-wiggles, leaving him to turn beet-red and looking everywhere except for Harley.

“Oh, Allison Lopez?”, Harley grinned, “that's your taste?”

Shit, couldn't Peter just turn invisible? Yes, he might have had a bit of a crush on her, but that was two semesters ago and as good of friends they were, there wasn't anything going on between him and Allison.

Tony however didn't seem to understand that. “I still don't get what keeps you from going out with her.”

“Neither can I”, Harley continued with that infuriating smirk. “I mean she is so nice and smart and yeah, she's really beautiful.”

“Please Keener, what do you know, you're gay”, Tony scoffed.

“Oh you are?”, Peter shot over and Harley just rolled his eyes. Whether at Tony or Peter, he wasn't sure.

“I can still appreciate beautiful women”, he ignored Peter as he addressed Tony. “For example I can tell that your wife is so out of your league.”

Oh damn. Yup, Peter definitely knew why he was into that guy. “Harley, I like you”, he grinned over.

In return he got the most exasperated of all the deadpans: “Gee, thanks.” Knowing him like he did, Peter was pretty damn sure that Harley fought tooth and nail to keep from retorting something along the lines of 'yeah, you made that clear the other night'. Thankfully, to a) keep from scarring Morgan for life and b) keep Tony from having a heart attack, Harley bit any remarks back.

“Yeah, he's really funny”, Morgan giggled, earning her Tony's signature move: the pointing at her with his eyebrows raised.

“Young lady, he is not. Harley Keener is nothing but a scullion, a rampallian, a fustilarian!”

“What's that?”

While Pepper explained Shakespearean insults to Morgan, Peter excused himself with a nod and made straight for the bathroom. He was just one enhanced man, how the hell was he supposed to deal with all this by himself?

.

Peter: SOS!!!

Ned: what's going on? bombthreat? Doc Ock? alien invasion?

Peter: it's so much worse...

Ned: WHAT IS IT?

Peter: so, last night me and Harley... we made it official

Ned: finally! I'm really happy for you but in what world is that a SOS-situation?

Peter: that friend he told us about, who he got an internship with and stuff?

Ned: yeah?

Peter: Tony. Stark.

Ned: Uff... that couldn't have been fun to explain

Peter: Yeah... we kinda didn't?

Peter: And now I maybe might be hiding in the bathroom because it's so weird

.

Harley: Are you hiding from me right now?

Peter: And why would I do that?

.

Peter: And of course, Harley knows I'm hiding from him

Ned: I know this sucks dude but I'm not sure how to help you

Peter: I don't either!!!

.

Harley: Because you didn't want to tell me that you're family with freaking Ironman?

Peter: Well, neither did you

Harley: Fair enough

Harley: Still no need to hide though, is there?

.

Ned: kay, listen man: you're gonna go in there, pretend everything's cool and as soon as you got the chance you and Harley talk about how you wanna play this

Ned: got it?

Peter: yes sir

Peter: thanks, you're the best guy in a chair any superhero can have! <3 <3 <3

.

When he got back into the dining room, Harley greeted Peter with the damnedest smirk, though that was to be expected. What wasn't to be expected, was that there didn't seem to be a single cookie left for him.

“Morgan Hope Stark. Where is my cookie?” He turned to the girl who just did not have a poker face. A grin tugged at the corners of her mouth and her eyes went wide, when she answered: “I have no idea what you're talking about.”

“Oh, is this how you want to play it?”, he shot back and glared at her with narrowed eyes. “Pepper, do I have permission to execute 'Operation Truthserum'?”

“No, no, Mummy no!”, she squealed, already shying back, knowing exactly what was about to happen.

“You do have my permission”, Pepper nodded and within seconds, Peter grabbed her by the waist, hoisted her over his shoulder and made for the couch, all that accompanied by a steady high-pitched squeal. The worst – for Morgan – was yet to come though. Once she landed on the cushions, the tickle attack started.

“STOP IT PETEY!”, she giggled.

“Will you tell me what happened to my cookie?”

“It wasn't me!”, she made clear looking up with wide eyes.

“Then who was it?”

“I can't say”, she admitted, “I promised!”

“Well, we should always keep the promises we make”, Peter admitted and dropped next to her on the couch. “Then I guess I just have to go to bed without another cookie, because someone over there”, he gestured towards the general direction of the table, “doesn't like me.”

“Oh no!” Morgan seemed to be truly perturbed by the idea that someone might not like Peter, especially since they were all a family. “I think you being sad is worse than breaking a promise”, she eventually decided. “It was Harley. He took your cookie, saying that he was gonna be the better intern anyways.”

“No.” With all the dramatics he could muster up, Peter feigned surprised shock. In reality, he had expected it to be Harley, his revenge for Peter hiding himself away. “How mean! Dad was right, he really is a scullion!”

“Maybe now you can prank him too?”, Morgan suggested, grinning somehow devilishly and adorably at the same time.

“Oh definitely. You gonna help me?”

“Yes!”

“Awesome. Means we already know what we'll do tomorrow.”

“Great, you're still alive”, Tony chuckled, as he made his way over to the couch. “The tortured screams of my beloved offspring suddenly stopped; thought I should make sure that you didn't take down my house or killed each other.” He dropped down between the two, putting an arm around each. “Happy to see you didn't.”

“Not on my first day back”, Peter shrugged and leaned into the hug.

“Thanks, I really appreciate that”, Tony deadpanned. “If you want to, though, we can get more cookies.”

“That's alright”, Peter grinned and winked at Morgan. “I've got something better.”

Looking from Morgan to Peter, Tony remarked: “I don't like that look on your faces one bit.”

“It's ok, daddy”, Morgan assured him, “since you didn't take his cookie, you're not in danger.”

“Oh for the love of Peggy Carter, please tell me you and Harley aren't gonna start a whole rivalry.”

“Because you would never do something like that, would you?”, Peter grinned. “Mr America told me what went on in the early days of the Avengers.”

“Of course he did.” With a scoff, Tony rolled his eyes.

“Why?”, Morgan asked looking from Tony to Peter, “what happened?”

“Nothing you need to worry about.”

“Don't worry”, Peter hissed over Tony's lap to the girl, “I'll tell you later.”

“You will do no such thing”, he made clear, “you're not here to be some irresponsible idiot terrorizing me, my family or my company.”

“You're right, Mr Stark, I'm a responsible young adult, here to do an responsible job and be responsible doing so.”

“Say responsible one more time and I might actually believe you”, came the deadpan response.

Well, then Peter'd give Tony exactly what he asked for. “I will be responsible, conscientious, reliable, dependable, unfailing, trustwor...”

“Yeah, yeah, you proofed your point”, Tony waved him off. “You need a lift home or are you sleeping over?”

“He's sleeping here”, Morgan decided.

“Works for me”, Peter shrugged, “May and Happy are having a date night, I don't need to be a part of that.”

“I know, right?”, Morgan rolled her eyes, “date nights are so gross.”

“I'll remind you of that exact sentence in about 8 years”, Tony made clear and turned to Peter before Mo could argue some more. “Your room's like you left it, at least it should be, I asked Dum-E to clean and I've honestly been too scared to check what he's done to it.”

“That's ok, Pete can sleep in my room.”

“Did you ask your Mum if that's okay?”

“I'm asking you now”, she beamed up.

“Yeah, but you know that Mum is the boss in this house.”

“Fine”, she moaned, jumped off the couch and trotted over to the dinning room.

“I know you don't really have a choice, but you cool with sleeping crammed into a children's princess bed?”

“Two words”, he grinned back. “Makeshift bunk-beds.”

“Oh fuck no”, Tony groaned, “the last time you made beds for you two, it ended with a crash and you dislocating your shoulder.”

Right, Tony might have a point in opposing this idea. Peter making webbing-hammocks was super fun, until one of the supporting webs dissolved too quickly and down they fell. Morgan landed on top of Peter, thusly landing soft enough to break the fall and not getting hurt. Peter wasn't so lucky, but once his shoulder was popped back into place, everything was alright again. And the 'no creating bunk-beds-rule' was put into place.

“Besides”, Tony continued, “I will ground you, no hesitation.”

Yeah, Peter did not doubt that for a second. No matter he was a twenty-one year old fifth-semester student, being grounded was definitely a possibility.

“Mummy said yes!” Squealing loudly and excitedly, Morgan skipped back towards them, followed by Pepper and Harley, albeit a little slower. “You can stay in my room!”

“If it keeps either one from sleeping, that will have been the last time though”, Tony made clear and Harley looked like he had to bite down hard to keep from bursting out laughing as did Pepper.

“Promise, daddy”, Morgan nodded.

“Yeah, dad”, Peter grinned, “we promise.”

“I'll hold you to that”, Tony made clear and waved at the two. “Right then, go and get ready. It's bedtime soon.”

“Sure thing. I'll just go to my room, get my PJs and brush my teeth and I'll be right back up”, he promised the girl and made for the elevator. The doors were just about to close, when a hand stopped it from doing so. Harley's hand. With a grin he walked in and leaned against the wall right opposite Peter.

“So, Peter was it?”, he grinned and, as soon as the doors were closed, he leaned in.

“Wait”, Peter just about managed to get out and looked up at the camera. “FRI, please don't tell anybody what you're about to witness and delete any and all footage of what's about to happen.”

“Of course, Peter.”

He turned back to his wide-eyed boyfriend, who clearly was not yet used to FRIDAY. But that could matter another time. With his hands on Harley's shoulders, Peter leaned in and pressed their lips together.

“Man, I've been wanting to do this all evening...”

“Me too”, Peter nodded, once they broke apart. And just in time at that, with a ding the elevator doors opened.

“Oh would you look at that, your room is right next to mine, what a good thing to know”, Harley smirked and Peter couldn't help his cheeks blushing. Since unfortunately (or in all honesty not very much so) Harley followed Peter into his room, the blush did not die down. “Nice”, he whistled appreciatively, as he took in the pictures of Peter's friends and family, the posters of StarWars and funny science puns. “Kinda looks like your dorm room.”

“I know. Guess that's what you'd call my own personal style”, Peter shrugged, before diving into his closet in search of PJs.

“So”, Harley cleared his throat as he made himself comfortable on Peter's bed. “You're close with Tony. As am I. Something we both decided to keep from each other but well, guess we're even.”

“Fair enough.”

“Why'd you never tell him about me, though?”, he moped. “You told him about Allison...”

“Because”, Peter scoffed as he turned back around to him, “that one date me and Allison have been on was about nine months ago and he still keeps on pestering me about her.”

“Ok yeah, I'll give you that.”

“Another question though: Why are we keeping us from Tony now?” Peter sat himself on the bed just opposite Harley, who scooted close enough for their feet to touch.

“I don't know.”

“I mean, I don't wanna go up to him and say: oh by the way, me and Harley have been doing it for the last month or so and as of yesterday we're actually a couple”, Peter summarized their relationship.

“Yeah, me neither. The mechanic can get intense.”

“As can the Avengers.”

“Besides, since we're working together, things should be kinda professional, right?”

“So you think we should keep this to ourselves?”

“Maybe yes, at least for now”, Harley nodded. “Just until we've figured all this out, you know with working and even kinda living together.”

“Right then. Dating in secret.” Thusly keeping it from Peter's entire extended family. But Harley was right, it was the best thing to do for the time being. Navigating a new relationship was always hard, having Ironman and the Avengers watching your every move while doing so would just make everything so much more challenging.

“If you're not comfortable with that, I get it. We can come clean.” Harley offered him a smile, a beautiful smile and grabbed Peter's hand.

“No, I agree, for now we have enough to figure out on our own. I appreciate it though.”

“Anything for my boyfriend”, Harley grinned and leaned in and Peter was more than happy to close the last bit of distance. And then an arm wrapped itself around his waist and pulled him closer. And before Peter knew it, he and Harley were tangled up on the bed, his hand in Harley's hair, Harley's arms holding him close. It was wonderful and perfect. Until Harley's hand made it's way under Peter's shirt.

“No”, he mumbled, “that's a bad idea.”

“Feels definitely too nice to be a bad idea”, Harley chuckled.

“Amazing is the word I'd have gone with”, Peter grinned leaning back. “That's the issue though. It's kind of like...”

“Like doing it at your dad's”, Harley finished the train of thought.

“Yeah. And I think it wouldn't be as bad, if I didn't have Morgan waiting up there.”

“I do get that”, Harley nodded, “laying in bed with your innocent pseudo-kid-sister after mind-blowing sex with your boyfriend...”

“Someone's having a high opinion of himself”, Peter scoffed as he untangled himself from Harley.

“Oh, but that's not my opinion”, he smirked, rolling onto his stomach and watching every little move of Peter's as he changed into his PJs. “That is something I will forever remember being whispered into my ear.”

Fine, Harley might have a point. Peter wasn't going to give him the satisfaction though and remained as stoic as he could.

“Mhm, gotta say, I do love this show”, Harley commented just before Peter pulled the sleep-shirt over his head. “Who'd've thought that a nerd like you'd be so fit?”

“Well thanks. Not sure what has gone wrong though that you only get that now.” His eyebrow raised, Peter turned back to Harley.

That damn smirk just wouldn't disappear, ever; Peter probably had to resign himself to the fact that his boyfriend would look at him like that all the time from now on until... Well, time would tell. All he had to do now was to find a way to keep from blushing like an idiot every time Harley shot him that infuriatingly sexy grin. “You know, some people have a painting, a movie or something they enjoy so much, they can watch it over and over and over again.” He walked all the way up to Peter and brushed his hands over the now dressed chest and Peter cursed himself for jumping under his boyfriend's touch. “I too have a work of art I like to admire.”

“Shut up”, Peter mumbled, not sure what else to say to that.

“Make me.”

That Peter would. “Sleep well and I'll see you tomorrow”, he mumbled between kisses.

“Yeah, you too.”

*

“Maybe you could web him to the ceiling?”, Morgan suggested, as they sat over a nice cheerio-breakfast.

“But he doesn't know I'm Spider-Man”, Peter shrugged and with one big sip finished the rest of his hot chocolate.

“It would be such a funny way to tell him, though.”

She might have a point there, if only because Peter should probably tell Harley about his alter ego. As long as they had only been fooling around, it wasn't really anything he even considered. Now that they were dating though... There were already so many secrets surrounding their relationship, they probably shouldn't have any secrets between the two of them.

“How about for now we find a revenge plan that doesn't involve superpowers?”

“You're boring.” With Tony-levels of dramatics, she rolled her eyes and shook her head.

“Ok, I promise we can do your idea once Harley found out about it.”

“Found out about what?” Harley walked into the kitchen, eyeing him curiously. A bit of a flirty glint in his eyes mixed with plenty of curiosity, he sat himself opposite Peter.

Fuck. With the heat, the blush rose in Peter's face and he just locked eyes with Morgan, who just shrugged.

“Idagit idagis idaga sidigedigret.”

“Idagi knodogow”, Morgan answered, “whaddagat doddogo yagidou wagidant toddogo tagitell hidagim?”

“You guys seriously have a secret language?”

“Are you actually surprised?”, Peter shot over before turning back to Morgan. “Widage cadagan juddugust pragitend nodogothidaging hadagappidagened adigand stadigay quidagiet. Thadigat coddogool?”

“Toddogotagidally.”

With a self-satisfied grin, Peter and Morgan nodded at each other before turning to Harley. “So, what's up?”, Peter beamed at his boyfriend, who looked like he wasn't sure he really wanted to be here and witness whatever was happening between the pseudo-siblings. “You doing alright?”

“Yeah. Not sure you are, but from what I've seen it doesn't seem too unusual.”

“No, not really”, Peter nodded in agreement. “Well, me and Morgan were just gonna head over and get some more cookies, since for some unexplainable reasons I never got one last night.”

Harley met Peter's challenging stare head-on as he smirked: “yeah, that is indeed weird.”

“Whoever did that will have to pay dearly”, Peter made clear, blushing ever so slightly, when Harley bit his lip. “Oh that poor soul.” And here Peter was, caught and losing himself in Harley's eyes, shining brighter than the biggest arc reactor.

“Can we go get cookies now?”, Morgan, who Peter might have momentarily forgotten was sitting right beside them, interrupted them making eyes at each other.

“Yes, definitely”, he nodded, happy to be interrupted just in time before things would become uncomfortably heated.

“Can I come too?”

Morgan just skipped over, grabbed Harley's hand and held her free one out to Peter. “Let's get ready to cookie!”

*

“Peter, can you come here for a moment?”

Oh, that couldn't be good. For about two weeks Peter and Harley's prank war had been going on and there was everything from cling wrap on the toilet to pink colour in the shampoo; from changing ringtones and contact names to putting all of Harley's furniture on the roof (thank you spider-strength!) there wasn't a prank they didn't go through with. And now Harley calling him into the common room? Peter's spider-sense didn't tingle, but that didn't mean anything.

“What's up?” Carefully, Peter put his head through the door, but Harley was doing was sitting on the couch.

“I need your brain”, he sighed, barely looking up. “As much as I hate to admit it, you're smarter than me.”

“Huh...” Something was up, Peter didn't need spider-senses to tell him that. “Why are you being nice?”

“You don't trust me?” With the fakest pained expression, Harley clutched his chest. “I am a nice person that currently needs your help!”

“Alright...” With every careful step, Peter took a good look around the room again. Nat and Wanda were sitting in the corner, biting down their grins at the scene in front of them. Well, those two weren't going to be any help... With as much distance between him and Harley as possible, Peter sat himself opposite on the couch. “What's up then?”

“This damn thing here.” What he held out to Peter looked like a remote. Spider-senses didn't pick anything up, so he carefully reached out for it and took it in his hand. At first glance nothing seemed to be wrong with it.

“What's broken about it then?”

“No idea”, Harley shrugged. “I can't figure it out...”

“Did you forget to change the batteries?”, Peter rolled his eyes.

“I'm not that dumb”, Harley made clear.

“You sure?” Peter was only riling him up and, extra slowly and showy, he checked the batteries. Well, wanted to.

Behind him loud cries and screams that could wake the dead had him jump; as he turned all he made out was a distinctly goblin-shaped figure. Without thinking about it, his instincts took over and within moments he jumped up on the ceiling and shot webs at everything that moved.

“Oh, for fucks sake, Pete, it's just me”, Clint groaned in a weird green get up with fake muscles, a purple unitard-thingy and hat; all that covered in webs.

“What the fuck, Clint?”, Peter yelled, “how do you get the idea to walk around dressed like THAT and not get webbed? Seriously, you're lucky I didn't punch you.”

“Wasn't my idea”, Clint defended himself and with his stuck arms he gestured vaguely towards the couch, where Peter only now remembered his boyfriend sitting. His boyfriend, who didn't know Peter was Spider-Man. His boyfriend who looked up at Peter, whiter than a sheet of paper and his jaw somewhere on the ground.

Oh fuck.

“Uhm, Harley? You alright?” Since there was clearly no greater threat than Harley breaking up with Peter for lying to him, Peter lowered himself on a web, until he and his hopefully still boyfriend were eye to eye.

“You... You... You're Spider-Man.”

“Guilty as charged.”

“Ok...”, he nodded, though clearly it was anything but ok. “Ok”, he repeated shaking his head and got up off the couch.

“Harley?”

“Ok.” With a smile, that looked almost manic, he looked around the room, where not only Peter but also Nat, Wanda and the Clint Goblin were quite worried. “Ok!” And out the door he went.

“Right, this is not what I thought would happen when I agreed to prank you”, Clint made clear. “You can still unstick me, though.”

“Nah”, Peter, Nat and Wanda agreed. “You deserve this.”

“Someone should check on Harley, though...”

“I'm on it”, Peter nodded and, after shooting Clint one more middle finger for this fucking idiotic idea of dressing up as his arch-nemesis (Well, one of them. But thanks to Harry there was more than enough emotional baggage attached and Clint quite frankly should know so much fucking better), he headed out and for Harley's room.

“You wanna talk about it?” Peter put his head through the ajar door to Harley's room, where his boyfriend was currently sitting on the bed, staring at the blank wall.

“I don't know”, he shrugged, still focusing on the wall in front of him. “I mean...”

“I'm really sorry.” With his apology, Peter slipped into the room and leaned against the now closed door. “I just... I've been planning the perfect way to tell you for these last two weeks, but I guess that didn't really work out...”

“Oh really?” Dripping with sarcasm, Harley rolled his eyes before finally turning to Peter. “You didn't plan on telling me by screaming bloody murder before jumping up and sticking yourself to the ceiling and webbing Hawkeye?”

“Believe it or not, but no I didn't...”

“I guess it explains, why none of my pranks really worked against you.”

“Sorry, super-hearing, strength and spider-senses do not really make for a levelled playing field.”

“No kidding”, Harley snorted.

Peter shuffled over and kneeled on the foot of the bed. “Can I somehow make this better or up to you?”

“Dude, I'm not mad”, Harley made clear, “not really at least. We've been dating for what, two weeks? It's not like I was about to propose to you. I'm just... surprised, that's all.”

“I get that. Anything you need to let out or ask or anything like that, just...” Peter held his arms out, “let it out.”

“I've seen Spider-Man naked.” As realization hit with Harley, Peter just burst out with laughter. “That's your take-away?”

“I feel like that's a big deal”, he nodded as the grin spread over his own face. “I mean, who can say that? I'm also the only one who gets to kiss Spider-Man, anytime I want to.”

“That is in fact a pretty big deal”, Peter smirked, “from what I've heard Spidey's an amazing kisser and incredible in bed.”

“As much as I'd love to argue that, they're true facts.” And with that, Harley leaned closer and pressed their lips together. “Omigod, I'm kissing Spider-Man”, he mumbled without breaking away.

“Seriously?”, Peter deadpanned, “do I have to expect that every time we kiss from now on? Because I don't know if...”

“Shut up, Spider-Man and let me kiss you.”

*

“WHERE IS HE?” Yelling at the top of his lungs, Peter stormed through the compound. Oh, he's done it, Harley's gone too far.

In the common room, he was only met with five pairs of eyes on him. “Who's he?”

“Harley”, Peter hissed, “where is he?”

“Last I heard he was in the lab with Stark”, Nat answered, eyeing him curiously. “And I'd assume that your prank war has reached its inevitable climax?”

“Let's just say, he's gonna pay.” Without an explanation or gracing the Avengers with another glance, Peter turned on his heel and stormed off towards the lab.

How the fuck did that damn idiot think it would be ok to mess with Peter's suit?

“HARLEY KEENER!”, he cried out, before he got even through the lab doors.

Just in time, he saw him diving behind Tony for safety, which was quite futile; not even Ironman could save Harley from Peter's wrath.

“Pete, please, I thought we agreed to keep your stupid rivalry out of my workshop”, Tony groaned.

Peter completely ignored Tony and stared right at where his boyfriend peeked out from behind him. “You've gone to far.”

“What did you do?” Peter was pretty sure, Tony didn't really want to know or even cared what Harley had done, but was that type of tired Dad, who just wanted some peace and quiet.

“He did THIS!” Ever since Peter had noticed the writing on the back of his spider-suit, he had worn a hoodie to hide it. Now he unzipped it and turned to Tony, so he too could read what all of New York now knew.

“Jar Jar Binks wasn't so bad”, Tony read and Peter heard Harley's failed attempt at hiding his giggles. “Pete, I'm with you on this one, a hundred percent, but please”, he pleaded, “even though he would deserve it, don't toss Harley to the Sinister Six.”

“You just wait, Keener”, Peter growled, “you'll regret the day, you decided to turn Spider-Man into the menace The Daily Bugle always said he was.” Not giving Harley the chance to ridicule him any more, Peter turned on his heel and stomped out.

“Please don't talk about yourself in the third person”, was the last thing he heard Tony groan, before the elevator doors closed.

There really was only one thing he could do. And, as much as Tony would hate it, Harley turning Peter into a fucking Jar Jar Binks stan was so much worse than anything Peter could come up with. But he'd need help for that, since Harley wasn't dumb enough to be alone with Peter.

Thankfully, there was the world's best sidekick.

“Hi Pepper”, he greeted her, when the elevator door to the penthouse opened, “is Morgan back from school yet?”

“Not yet, she has soccer training.”

“Right, it's Tuesday”, Peter remembered. Given that he was a currently employed worker at one of this country's most prestigious companies, he really was as clueless as they come.

“Can I help you out with what I'm assuming is your revenge plan to get back at Harley for what he pulled earlier? It's on twitter”, Pepper explained, before Peter could ask how she knew about it.

“Of fucking course it is.” With a groan, Peter fell on the couch.

“I'm sorry, kid.” Sitting next to him, she patted his shoulder. “This really must suck. Now, I usually don't condone these kind of things, but this whole prank war just has to end. So I'm gonna help you with one last stint and then it's all over, alright?”

“You'd really do that?”, he beamed over. Him and Pepper co-planning a prank? Screw intern at SI, that's what needed to be put on Peter's curriculum vitae!

“I guess you already know what you want to do, but need somebody to lure Harley wherever you need him to be.”

“Exactly.”

“Right then. What do you need from me?”

*

After Peter had stormed out of the lab, Tony decided it probably be best to just ignore the whole thing. As horrible as what Harley had done to Peter was, they were both adults and Tony was not gonna do that to himself and meddle with them. So back to work they went, until FRIDAY's voice ripped them away from it. “Harley, Pepper asks that you please come up to the penthouse, there is a form she needs you to sign.”

“Like right now?”

“Yes please, it'll only take a moment.”

“Fine”, he shrugged, put the screwdriver down and made for upstairs.

Three minutes passed, then five, then ten, but Harley didn't come back down. Damnit. This just screamed revenge. Did Tony really want to know what was going on? No, not really. Then why the fuck did he put down his tools and go up to the penthouse?

`

“Pep? Harley?”, he called out when he got into the empty living room.

“MHMMHM!” Those muffled cries came from just above him. And even though Tony knew exactly what he would see there, he still jumped a bit in surprise to find Harley, webbed to the ceiling, including a web covering up his mouth.

“Oh for fuck's sake”, Tony grumbled. “Where's Pete or my wife?”

“Over here”, Pepper called, as she and Peter carried a mattress over to put right under Harley.

“Just in case”, Peter explained, “I do plan on catching him once the webs dissolve.” Once they placed the mattress, Peter climbed up, hovering right by Harley's face. “Ok, this is a bit of a dick move, so I'll just take this off.” With careful movements, Peter dissolved the web over Harley's face.

“Peter Benjamin Parker, you absolute fucker”, Harley eventually groaned, once he could speak again.

“I hate to say this, but you do deserve it”, Tony shrugged. “And how the hell did Pete rope you in, darling?”

“I didn't have to”, Peter chirped from his place on the ceiling, “she offered her help.”

“My, my”, he grinned and put his arm around Pepper, who smiled right back.

“Look, I found some more pillows!”, Morgan giggled, as she skipped over. She literally could not have been home longer than maybe ten minutes, she still was in full soccer gear. Looks like they practised outside today, judging from the grass and dirt stains all over the light blue uniform. “Hi daddy!”, she beamed, as she went straight for the safety cushion on the ground. “Look, Pete, finally did my idea!”

“That was your idea? Wow, the women in my life are really a lot more devious than I previously though...”

“Yes”, she grinned proudly. “And now Harley has to promise that the pranking is over.”

“Peter did just as many pranks as me”, Harley protested, “so he should have to promise too.”

“Fine”, Peter shrugged, “I hereby promise that this was my last prank of this war.”

“Right, I promise not to avenge my being used as a candelabra.”

“Great”, Pepper smiled, “my work here is done. Honey, how about we let the kids be and get a cup of coffee?” She held her hand out and there was nothing in the world that could be nicer than to take it and let her pull him away from all this chaos and the wonderfulness that was a date with his wife.

*

What the fuck was Professor Smythe's problem? Seriously, he and Jameson's obsession with building robots that could end Peter was ridiculous. The current Spider-Slayer (oh, how much he HATED that name) was naturally too slick for Peter or his webs to stick, but he hadn't expected anything less. It also had some damn web-shooters, could climb up walls and some kind of energy beam or pulse gun, that could knock a statue off its pedestal. Peter definitely was not in the mood to find out what it could do to him.

Maybe he could fry the system? He had never tried it with any of the Slayers before, but that seemed to be the best thing to do to a) have a chance of defeating it and b) get it away from civilians. So that's what he did. Bungee-jumping off Brooklyn Bridge, the bot followed him right away. Coming out of the water again, Peter perched himself on the balustrade, waiting whether his hunch proofed right.

And of course it didn't. Well then, let the cat-and-mouse-games continue. Peter had to admit, his manoeuvrers did grow more and more dangerous, but there just had to be a twist or turn too fast for the damn thing, so it'd crash and hopefully break on the concrete.

“Mr Stark is calling”, KAREN announced just as Peter landed a quite formidable hit, if he dare say so himself.

“I'm kinda busy”, he hissed, ducking just in time to get one of these metallic legs to the stomach and webbed himself up a skyscraper; which exactly it was he didn't really have the chance to make out and besides, he really didn't care at the moment.

“I know”, came Tony's voice. “You need support?”

“Thanks”, he shot back, rolling his eyes that of course Tony had his tracker, location and what not pulled up. “I can handle it.”

“No doubts there. Just offering that you don't have to.”

“Appreciate it.” Perching himself on the roof's edge, he had just enough time for a short breather, when that Slayer crawled right up there. Fan-fucking-tastic.

“Jameson or Smythe, whoever is in charge of this right now: Really? Another Slayer? Haven't you learned your lessons the last umpteen times?”

“Kiddo, don't engage with the villains, just beat them.” Peter could practically hear Tony rolling his eyes, but he wasn't going to let Ironman tell him how to fight his rogues and was happy to ignore him.

Since the Spider-Slayer didn't answer, Peter concluded that it couldn't hear, or speak. Because Jameson would not let himself get taunted like this without shooting back.

With one quite impressive jump, Peter landed right behind the thing and, before it could turn and defend itself, landed a wonderful hit, that almost send it flying off the roof. “Take that!”

“Seriously?”

“Shut up, Mr Stark, I have to concentrate.”

“Oh, so it's Mr Stark again?”

“Yes”, Peter just made clear, and jumped up just in time to avoid getting hit by one robotic arm, and landing right in the next one. And shit, that hurt. “Fuck!”, he cried out. “Don't do that, you dumb slayer, that's how people get hurt!”

“Who got hurt?” Great, now Harley got in the mix as well. Tony must have their conversation on speaker in the lab.

“Apparently Peter is. What the hell is going on?”

“I got it handled, damnit!”, he groaned and in all the frustration of being punched in front of an audience, he even got a few good hits in, leaving wonderful dents in the admittedly quite hard metal. “BAM!”

Peter's cocky joy about hitting that thing didn't last too long though. The bot turned, set up for a punch, but not fast enough for Peter's spider-senses. Turns out, his early warning system wasn't really alerting him to the punch though; in avoiding getting hit, Peter jumped right into that fucking energy beam, and before he really knew it happened, he found himself blasted off the roof and falling towards the busy streets with an unfortunately not all that manly scream.

“Kid, what the fuck?”

“What's going on?”

Somehow in his deathly panic, he could make out Tony and Harley's concerned voices over the speakers, but him saving his own life was more important right now. Shooting webs and swinging to the safety of a few rooftops over wasn't that difficult, though saying it wasn't a scaring shock would be a lie.

“FUCKING ANSWER ME!”, Tony cried out, and only now Peter remembered to maybe console his father figure and his boyfriend.

“I'm alright”, he assured them.

“Good, cause if you die, I'm gonna kill you”, Harley made clear.

No, Peter had other things to deal with right now; his distraught boyfriend could wait. “FRIDAY, please take care of Tony and Harley, but I'd much rather deal with this armed-to-the-teeth killer-robot that was especially designed to kill me, than with them being hysteric.”

“What do you mean, especially designed to kill you?”

“Talk to you later, bye!”, he chirped. “KAREN, hang up please and keep either from calling me.”

“Call ended.”

“Thanks, K, you're the best. Now. The Slayer. If we go to The Daily Bugle HQ, we could baseball that sonofabitch with the Jameson statue they have out front. Do you think that'd piss him sufficiently off?”

“I assume yes”, she answered, “but it would also aggravate Jameson a lot more.”

“K, I've literally done nothing to the man, and he's paying a mad scientist to build killer-robots. I don't think there's much more aggravation possible.”

“You might have a point”, she admitted.

“Thanks. Right then, let's flatten this thing!”

The hardest part about swinging to The Bugle was avoiding that damn impulse beam. It almost blasted Peter out of the sky twice, and thanks to that fucking gun, his landing in front of The Bugle was unfortunately not as much of a landing, as him being smacked against the building. Ouch. That was gonna be beautifully blue and purple.

“Jameson, now you might hear me”, Peter cried out, circling that damn thing. “I honestly believe in nothing less than doing what's right, which is helping out the people of New York. And if all I do for the rest of my days is stop car thieves or pick pockets, help elderly people over the street or help some poor tourists, that got lost in the city then I'm happy to do just that. I don't understand your hatred of me, but well, if you so clearly need to loathe me, let me at least give you a proper reason to do so.”

With all his strength, he ripped the statue of his nemesis out of its plinth and brought it down on the robot.

“You think that did it?”, he whispered, as he waited for that thing to move again.

“My scanners show no signs of any activity”, she reported. “It seems you have successfully destroyed the Spider-Slayer and given Jameson more than enough reasons to hate you.”

“Yeah, I'm already looking forward to tomorrows Bugle”, he scoffed and, after making sure that none of the civilians standing around were hurt, he took off again.

“I suggest that you make your way back to the compound. You have taken a few bad hits and even with your enhanced healing you'll take a while to completely recuperate.”

Sure, KAREN had a point, a very good point, since everything, really everything hurt like hell. But if he went back there now, he'd have Tony and Harley to deal with and that was nothing he was really in the mood for. Then again... “I assume if I don't do so, Tony will come and pick me up.”

“According to FRIDAY, he gives you thirty seconds to make your way to the compound or he will do exactly that.”

“Well, whoop-de-fucking-do”, he groaned. “The compound it is, then.”

“Oh, I'm gonna kill you!” Peter was barely through the doors, when both Tony and Harley stormed towards him.

“Back off”, he made clear. “I am not in the mood.”

Funnily enough, both shied back a bit. “But you will go to the medbay now, that is an order”, Tony made clear.

“Gladly”, Peter sighed and pulled his mask off. Judging from the way Harley gasped and Tony's face fell, he had quite the bruise there. In all honesty, Peter wasn't sure what was injured and what wasn't, everything just hurt. Not just physically, but... Smythe and JJJ really hated Peter. No, hate was probably not strong enough a word for it. Besides the point that Peter couldn't imagine hating anybody to that much a degree that you actually wanted them dead and did everything in your power to actually kill them, it was them hating Peter for no real reason. They didn't even know Spider-Man, all they knew was that he had superpowers. And it scared them so much that it didn't matter what he did; it didn't matter how often he saved New York or the world, they were gonna hate him.

“Impressive speech, kiddo”, Bruce praised him, as he gave Peter the once-over.

“Thanks”, he mumbled, but didn't manage more than a half-hearted smile.

“You know why you are so much more amazing than Jameson will ever be?”, Bruce remarked, as he got some lotion out of a cupboard. He didn't wait for Peter to ask why, he continued right away: “you let love lead your every move, your every decision. And that is so damn hard to do. Letting fear be your motivator, well, do that and you end up like Jameson, or Smythe... or me. Don't look so shocked”, he chuckled, “me and Hulk went through a lot of emotional turmoil, we hated each other like JJJ hates you. And for the longest time I ran from that exact fear. It took the idiots in this building to help me see that fear isn't the way to go and it was a damn long process. But you... You didn't need to learn that, did you? I know you went through so much shit in your quite short life, but still, you have the biggest heart, you fight for the little guy. And that's why Spider-Man is New York's favourite superhero.”

Peter was honestly floored. All he could do was look at Bruce Banner, the amazing scientist, his idol he looked up to so much, wide eyed and mouth gaping open. Thankfully, the doctor played over it, put a last bit of the lotion on Peter's shoulder, before motioning for him to put his shirt on again.

“Right then. Take it easy, alright? It unfortunately shows that that robot was designed to purposely hurt you. There are no severe injuries, but you're skin's more blue than white.”

“Yeah, I feel that.”

“I bet. So, doctor's orders are to be pampered for the next two days.”

“That I can do”, Peter grinned, probably somewhat crookedly since his face was kinda messed up.

“Good. And as usual, if Tony gets too much, I can always put you in a calm and quiet quarantine.”

“Thanks, you're the best.” It was more limping than walking, but Peter made his way out of the medbay. But, just before the door closed behind him, he turned one more time. “Oh, and Bruce?”

“Yes, Peter?”

“Thanks. For the talk. Means the world.”

“Anytime, kid”, he smiled and waved after Peter, as he made his way to the penthouse, where he was already awaited by Tony, Pepper, Harley, Morgan and by now also May and Happy had arrived. Yup, Peter was definitely going to need Bruce's offer of quarantining him if he wanted only five minutes by himself.

“I'll live”, he greeted his distraught family. “Doctor's orders are to be pampered for the next two days”, he explained as he made his way to the couch and got to get off his feet.

And then the circus started. Immediately everybody crowded him, offered tea, hot chocolate, sweets and so much more. The only time they left his side was when he had to go to the bathroom and even then he had to argue for five minutes that he was able to make it there by himself. Eventually, he just got to lay on the couch with his head on May's lap. And, while his aunt's fingers brushed through his hair, Morgan read him some pirate story. The decision to sleep over at the compound was seconded by everybody present and, while everybody offered to stay with him in his room, Peter was not so much convinced by that. “I am 21 years old, I think I can spend the night. It's not like I've never been hurt before and I've already weathered much worse injuries with a lot less care.”

Not that anybody was happy about the statement, but they at least let him be. After three extra good-night-kisses from Morgan, May insisted on walking him to his room at least.

“I'm sorry”, she remarked as they walked along the corridor in silence.

“What for?”

“That there are people out there trying to harm you”, May sighed and pulled him a bit closer. “And I'm so incredibly proud how you're dealing with this.” When he looked over, he saw her smiling at him, albeit teary-eyed. “You don't vow revenge, you don't go after Jameson and fine, you did destroy his statue earlier, but you don't let the hatred consume you like it consumes him. That is pure Ben, right there. I just know he is sitting up there on a cloud and is so damn proud of the man you're turning out to be.”

“That's thanks to you both”, Peter made clear and leaned into the embrace. “I larb you.”

“Oh honey”, she laughed and put a kiss on his cheek. “I larb you, too.”

.

Harley: You already sleeping?

Peter: come over

.

“Hey.” Almost quietly, Harley slipped into Peter's room. “I'm not gonna ask how you're feeling, because I do not want to be shot the death glare to end all death glares”, he made clear as he made himself comfortable just beside Peter.

“Thanks”, he laughed, “I appreciate that. I do feel the need to ask you how you're doing, though. You've been suspiciously quiet and withdrawn ever since I've come out of the medbay.”

“Yeah... It's just... Until today I didn't get what you being Spider-Man actually means. Up until this afternoon it was just the fact that you've got superpowers and run around the city in spandex. It never occurred to me that you're actually putting yourself in harm's way, fighting supervillains and actually getting hurt.” Gently he stroked Peter's cheek, careful not to touch the bruise. “And the feeling to sit here, listening to you getting beaten up, thrown of a building all the while there's nothing I can do... It's just horrible.”

Peter scooted a little closer and grabbed Harley's hand. “I would love to say I understand, but I don't; I only know the other side. It's like... Being able to do things like that, I have the responsibility to use these powers, you know? Because if there's something happening that I could have stopped, but I didn't...”

“I get that”, Harley nodded and squeezed Peter's hand. The fact that that hurt like hell, Peter didn't try to let on, there was a more urgent matter to be dealt with. “It's so noble and one of the things that are really so damn amazing about you. It's just so horrible to helplessly sit back and have to watch while the guy you love does stuff like this.”

“The guy you what now?” All bruises, injuries and contusions were forgotten as Peter stared at his boyfriend with wide eyes. Did he mishear him or did Harley actually use the L-word?

The way Harley blushed, he probably heard the right thing. “Uhm yeah. The guy I love”, he repeated. “That's you, by the way”, he eventually remarked, when Peter just silently stared at him.

“That's me”, Peter parroted, as his stupidly slow brain tried to compute what was currently happening right in front of him.

“I'm happy to draw you a picture”, Harley snorted. “Yeah, so I have been thinking this for a while now, but today kinda made it clear for me. And if you don't feel like that or don't want to say anything that's cool, we can just...”

“Shut up, Keener.” Peter just cupped Harley's face and pulled him in for a kiss. A fantastic kiss; not even the pain in Peter's everything mattered. “I love you, too”, he smiled, once he broke away.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

How much longer they were lost in their embrace and kisses, Peter had no idea. He didn't care, either, because it was just too damn perfect.

“Stay here, please”, he eventually whispered, when the tiredness was close to take over.

“I wasn't planning on going anywhere”, Harley chuckled and safely enveloped in his boyfriend's arms who he loved and who loved him too, Peter fell asleep with the widest smile.

*

“So, Pete and Harley are awfully close”, Nat remarked and, if you didn't know her like Clint did, you'd easily miss the smirk she tried to hide as she took a sip from her coffee.

“Wait, they are?”, Steve asked.

“Oh, you sweet summer child”, Clint giggled, “yes, they are. Either their boning or they really, really want to.”

“Seriously, Cap, how you managed to land Barnes is really a mystery to me, given your perception of human emotions.”

“Hey”, he defended himself, “that's not fair.”

“Clint has a point, though”, Bucky snorted, “took you what, ninety years to ask me out?”

With Steve blushing in slight embarrassment, the rest of the Avengers started laughing. “Better late than never, right?”, Rogers eventually shrugged, and leaned over to press a kiss on Bucky's cheek.

“Good for you. Doubt Peter and Harley have a century to figure this out though”, Nat brought the conversation back to the topic at hand.

“So you think we should interfere?”

“Not interfere”, she made clear. “But how about a nudge in the right direction?”

*

“Ok, I need to ask you something.” Pepper had made it barely into bed, when Tony blurted out.

“What's up?”

“Is it my imagination or is there something going on between Harley and Peter?” Tony has had this thought for a while now, he'd almost call what they did flirting. And it freaked him out to no end.

“Welcome to the party”, Pepper chuckled as she settled into her pillows. “The Avengers have been gossiping about it for weeks. And so has half of SI.”

“Oh.” That was only slightly embarrassing. But then again, those two were his mentees, in this weird fatherly relationship romantic entanglements it wasn't exactly what he focused on when spending time with his pseudo-sons.

“But, before you go into action mode”, Pepper threw in, putting her hand over his, “let those two work through it themselves. If something really is there, they need to recognize it on their own and not because you or the Avengers told them about it.”

“Yeah, you're right.”

“I always am”, she smiled and, after a good-night-kiss, she snuggled to his side.

“Sleep well, honey.”

*

“Pete, just hear me out”, Clint tried to appease him, “Tasha says that this guy is really nice and definitely good enough for you.”

“Good for him”, Peter shot back, “but I don't need you to set me up on a surprise blind date!”

“Well, yeah, because if it weren't surprise you wouldn't have come”, he shrugged and pushed Peter onto a barstool. “Please, just give it a try. You can web my bow and arrow to the roof of the compound if it's a bust, alright?”

“Fine”, Peter groaned, if only to get this over with and to tell whoever was apparently perfect for Peter that unfortunately he was not interested; he just loved his boyfriend too much. At least Peter wouldn't have to worry about his boyfriend getting jealous or come to any false conclusions; Harley was so going to laugh at Peter, when he'd message him later.

“Great”, Clint chirped, “I'll leave you be then. He should be here any moment, and you can thank me later.” With a damn infuriating grin, Hawkeye all but skipped out of the bar, leaving Peter by himself. Awesome.

What was he supposed to tell this dude? He couldn't tell him that Peter already had a boyfriend, because then Nat'd know, then Clint'd know and then all the Avengers would know.

And the excuse that Peter just wasn't interested in dating at the moment wouldn't really count either, would it?

Well, if that stranger was as cool as Tasha had made him out to be, at least Peter'd have a fun evening, and maybe even make a new friend.

“Uhm, hey Peter.” Harley was the last person Peter expected to hear and the last person he wanted to see five minutes before he was supposed to be on a date.

Beet-red he turned to his boyfriend. “Harley, hey. What are you doing here?”

“Yeah, so funny story”, he harrumphed as he sat next to Peter. “A beer, please”, he ordered before turning to Peter, who already had a coke in front of him. (Why drink alcohol, when it didn't really do anything?) “So, please don't freak, but I kinda am supposed to be on a date right now...”

Oh fuck no.

“Did Nat by any chance set you up for that?”

“Oh what the fuck”, Harley's face fell. “Please don't tell me you're that friend of Clint's who would be just perfect for me?”

They stared at each other for a few moments, processing what was currently going on, before bursting into laughter.

“This is such a mess”, Peter eventually got out. “Against my will I'm being set up on a blind date. With my boyfriend.”

“How weird, I'm in the exact same situation”, Harley grinned and after thanking the bartender, took a generous sip from his beer. “At least I can get drunk to deal with it...”

“Yeah, stomaching that we're apparently the epitome of gossip and in dire need to be set up would be a lot easier with alcohol... Begs the question though: where do we go from here? Do we come out?”

“Honestly, when they're already being that... I don't know, intrusive when they think we're not even together, how you think they're gonna react when we actually are an official couple?”

Harley had a damn point. “Keeping things professional would get a lot harder, too.”

“Yeah. So what, tell them that their genius plan failed?”

“Maybe we should put it one step further”, Peter grinned, when THE idea hit him. “We just tell them that we were stood up, but thankfully had the other's company, making it clear that we didn't even think of each other romantically, you know?”

“Mhm, I gotta be honest though”, Harley grinned, “it's gonna be pretty hard spending tonight, not keeping on replaying what you look like underneath that nice shirt.”

“Dude”, Peter hissed and felt the blush get more and more intense.

“I'm sorry, am I making you uncomfortable?”

“I can just get up and go, tell Clint that this was a disaster”, Peter made clear.

“It admittedly kinda is”, Harley shrugged. “Or at least it will be once we run back to them, tears streaming down about the horrible people that treated us so damn...”

“Atrocious? Grieveous? Heinous? Evil?”, Peter suggested with a smirk.

“Damnit, why you gotta be so smart”, he groaned, taking another sip. “It's seriously hot.”

“Well, thank you”, Peter grinned, “I do my best.”

*

“Well, hi there Peter. Harley. How was your evening?”

When walking into the common room the next day, they were met with way too many smug grins directed at them.

“Clint, you'll find your bow and quiver webbed to the roof”, Peter fake-smiled.

“What?” His face fell.

“Didn't you like him?”, Nat inquired.

“How should I know?”, Harley shot back, “he never showed up!”

“Yes, you two really picked some winners”, Peter scoffed, trying his all to stay in character. “At least Harley was there, so I didn't sit around all by myself.”

“WHAT?”, Clint cried out.

“Omigod, you're more clueless than Steve”, Bucky groaned, earning him a 'HEY!” and a box to the arm from his boyfriend.

“You literally went home together”, Nat recapped what she and Clint witnessed them doing. Of course they were camped out in front of the bar and followed them home.

“Harley and me? Yeah, once it was clear that nobody was gonna show up, Harley came by my place to play Mario Kart. At which, might I add, I sufficiently kicked his ass”, he added with the triumphant smirk, he's been wearing ever since last night. Admittedly, it wasn't the only thing they did; once May sent them to bed, there was a lot of making-out involved. That was nothing the Avengers needed to know, though.

“Pete, Harley. They set the two of you up”, Tony made clear, walking in behind the couple.

“Wait, what?” Wide-eyed they both turned to Tony and Peter just hoped to whoever was listening that they could manage to keep up the charade.

“You tried to set me and Peter up?” If he didn't know the ploy, Harley's weirded out tone would be downright insulting.

“Yeah”, Clint nodded, “is that so far-fetched?”

No, not at all, since they were actually in love.

“I honestly never considered it”, Peter lied, hopefully good enough that a bunch of super spies would believe him.

“Seriously?”, Wanda questioned him, “you two've been flirting pretty much ever since you arrived.”

“Oh, ok”, Harley shrugged, seemingly pulling off this whole indifference-towards-the-other-thing a lot easier than Peter. Huh. Interesting...

“You can't tell me you didn't notice.” Tasha didn't buy a word of it, Peter could see it in the way she glinted over at him.

“Guys, we're co-workers, literally. There's this thing called professionalism and I know most of you have never heard of it, but it does matter, especially, when our degrees are on the line, so no, we didn't consider anything.”

“Who the hell sits at MIT, worrying about their interns getting together? Besides, Tony and Pepper? Steve and Barnes? Wanda and Vision?”

“The only person in that group of people I'd call responsible is Pepper”, Peter made clear.

“Fair enough”, Steve shrugged, “but you see, it can work out.” He gestured between himself and Bucky, who was sprawled out over Steve's lap, shooting them two thumbs up.

“Ok, I'm really over this conversation”, Peter decided, since he could feel himself breaking any moment now. “Harley. Would you just go on a damn date with me so they all shut the fuck up?”

“Language!”

“I'm an adult and Morgan's not around, so I can fucking swear however the fuck much I fucking want to”, Peter shot back at his mentor, before turning to his boyfriend. “So, what do you say?”

“Fine, let's get this over with”, Harley rolled his eyes.

“And they say romance is dead”, Tony cooed, then shook his head. “You are both ridiculous.”

*

“I gotta admit, this is pretty nice”, Peter smiled, as Harley pulled back the chair for him. “Thanks.”

“You're absolutely welcome��, he beamed and sat himself right opposite him. “To be honest, the nicest part about this is the Avengers offering to pay, to make up for their meddling.”

“Definitely. I never would have come here otherwise, too scared of the pricetag and the fanciness.”

“So, this isn't a place you'd take your boyfriend to?”, Harley smirked.

“Definitely not”, Peter made clear. “I'll show you another time what I understand under the perfect date.”

“Can't wait.”

As they waited for their seriously overpriced food, Peter took the place in. He and Harley took down the average age by at least twenty years; there was only one more couple that looked to be around their age. How the fuck did Tony get the idea to send them here? With his metabolism, they were definitely going to have to stop by a taco truck or a burger place later, no way he could eat all he needed to here. He also couldn't wait to get out of this damn shirt. May forced it on him, since they obviously needed to look the part, but that tie felt like it was strangling Peter and he was in all honesty scared to move, so the shirt wouldn't crinkle.

“Do you want to get out of here?”, Harley whispered over, as Peter picked around in his salad.

“That would be totally impolite, though”, he hissed back.

“We could fake an emergency”, Harley shrugged. “Can't your spider-senses make something up?”

“That's not how this works”, Peter deadpanned. “Come on, we're doing this for the Avengers, remember?”

“Yeah, you're right. But just looking at you, I want to rip that damn shirt off you, and not for sexy reasons. You look seriously uncomfortable.”

“Lived through worse”, he shrugged. “Other note. Are we publicly dating as of tomorrow?”

“Now, I know the Avengers not as well as you do, but I think that if we were, there'd be an endless tirade of 'we told you so' and a constant need to be involved.”

“Apt assessment”, Peter nodded. “How do we keep that from happening, though?”

“Hm.” They sat in silence while pondering their options. “How about we tell them it went horribly, can't stand each other from now on and they might feel bad enough to leave us alone?”

That could actually work. Only issue... “Will you be able to pretend you can't stand me, even though you perpetually undress me in your mind?”, Peter smirked and got the expected deadpan in return. “Ha, ha.”

“I'm serious”, he continued, “you'll have to constantly suppress your yearning for my body, the admiration for me, my mind and that can't be easy.”

“Trust me, Peter darling, it's getting easier by the second.”

.

Harley: Made it home alright?

Peter: Yup, only had two burgers along the way

Peter: Seriously, that restaurant is nothing for people who are actually hungry

Harley: True that

Harley: I raided the entire snack cabinet here and am now sprawled out on the bed, surrounded by chocolate and cookies *heart eyes*

Peter: Nice!

Harley: Oh yeah. Different note, though. I was obviously anxiously awaited once I got back to the compound

Peter: And?

Harley: I told them that they suck, that you suck, that everything sucks and they very quickly left me alone

Peter: Meaning I can expect Tony to check in any moment now?

Harley: Probably, yeah

.

But there was nobody checking in. No message from Tony, nothing from Tasha, Clint or any of the Avengers. Which meant that they probably bought Harley's attitude, thinking that they somehow really messed up. Good, that's what they wanted to achieve.

There was absolutely no reason to feel so weird about it now. No need to feel weird about lying to his super family. No need to feel weird about going that much out of their way to keep their relationship a secret.

Why did the Avengers push all this so much? Why couldn't they just leave well enough alone, things were wonderful the way they had been! They all knew Peter well enough to be aware that he didn't really care for being the centre of attention, especially vis-a-vis his romantic life. It had been the same damn thing when he came out as bisexual. All of a sudden the Avengers ran around with rainbow-pins and love is love is love-shirts. They showed up at every pride parade, everything that was even slightly LGBTQIA+ themed, the Avengers got involved. Maybe it was a generational thing that they had to show their support in that intense a degree? Because Ned, MJ, Gwen, all the friends his age were a lot more chill about it.

So damn the Avengers' aggressive support, for forcing Peter to keep the guy he loved a secret. And damn the Avengers for making Peter dread seeing his boyfriend again.

*

“Heya kiddo”, Tony greeted Peter when he walked into the compound the next day.

“Morning”, he smiled back, dreadfully nervous what Tony was about to talk about.

“So, how you doing?”

“Freaking fantastic”, he deadpanned. “But I assume you already guessed such a thing.”

“Guilty as charged. You can still talk to me, if you want to.”

“Not really”, Peter shrugged. Tony's arm around his shoulder felt just wrong. Yes, he tried to be reassuring and shit, but he was currently here for Peter, for an issue that was non-existent. Because Peter currently lied to his father figure and boss. So much for keeping it professional...

“If that changes, you can always come to me.”

“Thanks”, he forced a smile, “means the world.”

“Anytime, bud. Only question remaining: can you two be civil?”

“Well, we are talking about the guy, who destroyed a statue out of spite”, Harley remarked, coming up behind them.

“Oh for reals? You're taking JJJ's side?”

“I ain't saying that.” In mock-defence, Harley raised his hands. “Just saying that that wasn't exactly civil, was it?”

“Don't worry”, Peter turned to Tony, “we got this handled.”

“Looks like it”, he gulped, probably making a mental note to get them to different departments.

Not just a mental note, as it turned out, but after lunch break, Harley didn't seem to be working in the chemical engineer's department. That was probably a good thing, given that it was becoming increasingly hard to voice all his snide remarks as if he meant them, and not as the flirty banter that it actually was. Fortunately, Harley seemed to feel the same way; Peter prided himself in knowing his boyfriend well enough to recognize the fights to keep the blush and grins down. Yes, them being separated was definitely a good call.

.

Peter: So, you left me.

Harley: I wouldn't exactly call it leaving, more like being forcibly removed from your general vicinity

Peter: good, it was getting hard to pretend I'm not really into you

Harley: awwww! <3

.

“Hi Pete!” Hunched over his work, Peter didn't notice Morgan until she stood right by his chair, squealing at him.

“Hey Mo”, he grinned back. “What are you doing here?”

“Looking for you. Daddy said you're not really well, so now I want to cheer you up.”

And Peter just melted. “That is so sweet of you! I've got a lot of work to do, though.”

“Can you show me?” There truly was nothing more powerful than Morgan Stark's puppy eyes. How anyone could ever say no to her was a mystery Peter'd probably never solve. “You know, then I can also be an intern.”

“Well, I can't argue with that logic.” While the co-workers he shared an office with were in the lab or on break, there was no reason why Morgan shouldn't be able to join Peter for a while. Besides, even though he wasn't as unwell as everyone thought he was, he could still do with a little distraction. So he motioned for the chair in the corner, and before he knew it, Morgan wheeled it over and sat next to him, looking all expectantly. “Alright, so my big topic is genetics, especially genes that have been changed.”

“You mean like yours?”, Morgan whispered after making sure that nobody was around to hear her.

“For example”, he nodded, “but there are so many reasons why genes are changing and sometimes that's really good, because it helps us to make medicine, but sometimes it's also really bad, because people change things so much that they're no longer what they used to be.”

“You mean like the Green Goblin?”

“Yeah.” Peter hoped to everything that Morgan didn't notice Peter flinching at the memory of his friend becoming his enemy. His friend, that Peter had put behind bars. His life really was fucked up.

“So what are you doing now?”

“All of that”, he gestured at the unholy amount of papers on his desk, “that's all results from tests. And now I get to compare all these numbers and hopefully find a pattern that shows me how certain types of influences change DNA.”

“Wow.” With big eyes she looked over all the data. “That's really a lot of stuff.”

“Yeah, I know. But I luckily got FRIDAY, she's helping me out with the math.”

“That's so nice of you, FRI!”, she beamed.

“Thank you, Morgan. I am happy to help in any way I can”, FRI answered.

“Me too”, Morgan made clear. “So can I help you?”

Well, Peter doubted they taught chemical engineering in primary school. Then again... “You actually can. Look here.” He held a piece of paper out to her. “You see some of the numbers FRI found are already marked. Can you read them out to me, so I can put them in the system?”

“You got it!”

Yes, FRIDAY could just automatically put the numbers down, but Peter couldn't say no to Morgan. Besides, Peter was more than happy about the company and that girl just took Peter's mind off his fucked up romantic life. With them working together, the afternoon just flew by and it was definitely more fun than asking FRI to take care of the numbers.

“Mr Parker, since Ms Stark is not yet eighteen, all employment must be signed off by her legal guardians. I don't remember doing that and since Pepper is in LA at the moment, I think she didn't either.”

The two hard-working engineers turned to find Tony leaning against the door-frame.

“Is that bad?”, Morgan asked, looking up at Peter, who just shrugged.

“Means that he won't pay you for your work. And that he could technically sue me for employing a minor. But I don't think he'll do that”, he smiled at Tony, the sweetest and fakest smile he had in him.

“Don't push your luck, Parker”, Tony grumbled. “Just wanted to know how much longer you're gonna work over-time for.” He nodded towards the clock and only now Peter realized the time.

“Well, me and my associate are on such a roll”, he just grinned back, “in our high of productivity we have forgotten the time.”

“And I'm reminding you of it. I assume you're staying here then?”

Peter just nodded.

“Alright then. Finish up, then wash up and get your butts upstairs. Dinner's ready.”

“We'll be right there”, Morgan promised.

“So, I assume her help was a little limited”, Tony remarked, once Morgan was in bed.

“A bit scared to say this to my boss, but redundant's the word I'd use.”

“Figured”, Tony scoffed. “She's so over the moon though for having been engineering genes, I guess, I might be able to play over it and maybe even appreciate it.”

“Appreciate?” Peter grinned over, “might just make it a regular thing then. It's definitely more fun.”

“Again Parker, might not want to push it.” Putting his arm around Peter, Tony looked down. “Slight change of topic, though. You do not have a choice, we're gonna talk this out now, because today was a nightmare.”

Ugh. Right, get the lying-extravaganza going. “What do you want me to say?”

“I just don't get how it could have gone that disastrous. You two hit it off from the day you met, and it's just...”

“And you're just blaming yourself because you pushed all this?” Peter regretted it the moment he said it. Not because it was a risky thing to say, because yes, Tony and the Avengers definitely regretted it. But because there was nothing to regret; all of this was just a fucking farce. “Ok, fine, it started of sucky, because that restaurant you guys sent us to? Who the fuck had the brilliant idea to invite us to a overly fancy restaurant where I'd never ever could eat enough to feel full? I got two burgers on the way home, because I was so damn hungry.”

“Right, that's on Cap”, Tony made clear, “he said he knew this really nice place, perfect for a first date.”

“How the hell does Steve of all people think he's the authority on date-spots?”

“Yeah, we probably shouldn't have let him take care of that”, Tony admitted.

He didn't push any more questions, but Peter felt the look Tony shot him and the almost desperate need to know what went so wrong.

“It was just awkward, because we didn't really know what to talk about. And then... I don't know. Engineering and you guys connect us, but take that away...”

“So what, now you don't like each other any more?”

Peter just shrugged. What the hell was he supposed to answer to that? Of course he liked Harley, he fucking loved him! “I don't know”, he eventually mumbled. “It's just all so weird.”

“You know, me and Pepper were broken up for a while. And it was so weird, because, well, she's the CEO of my company. Happy all of a sudden was her employee, not mine any more. That was so fucked-up, but we got it in the end. And I'm not saying you and Harley need to end up together and married with a wonderful daughter. But it's gonna go back to normal, I promise that.”

“Yeah?”

“Pete, if the mess that is me can get it sorted, then you can too. And now off to bed you go.”

“Yes dad”, he moaned and couldn't help but grin at the eye-roll.

“Just shut up and get out of here”, Tony made clear and, after a good-night-kiss on the forehead, he motioned for the elevator doors.

“Right then, sleep well.” And with a last wave, Peter disappeared in the elevator

.

Peter: Can you come over?

.

“As if you'd ever have to ask that”, Harley giggled as he slipped into Peter's room.

“Well, since you apparently don't like me anymore...”

“Shut up”, he rolled his eyes, kneeled on the bed and leaned over for a kiss.

“So, I just talked to Tony”, Peter explained once they broke away.

“Uh, that couldn't have been fun...”

“It really wasn't.” He recapped their talk, before sinking back into the cushions. “This sucks so much. I really don't want to lie to them any more, but this has gone so damn far...”

“I know. We don't need to figure it out tonight though, right?”

“We do not”, Peter agreed, and pulled Harley down into the cushions with him and wrapped his arms around his waist. “Now we just get to sleep.” And, with his head resting on Harley's chest, he drifted off into sleep in no time at all.

*

“PETER!”

“NED!”

Peter could have sworn that as he and Ned ran towards each other for the hug that reunited them after almost three months apart, time went into slow motion. Around them everything blurred away; they were no longer on the street but floating somewhere on cloud nine.

“I missed you so much”, Ned sighed, once they were enveloped in a tight hug.

“I missed you, too! And I'm so happy that you're home for a few days.”

“How come you never hug me like that?”, came Harley's grumbled question from somewhere behind Peter.

“Guess he loves me more than you”, Ned giggled as he let go off Peter.

“I shall neither confirm nor deny these accusations”, Peter made clear, held his now free hand out to Harley though.

“I guess that's alright”, Harley shrugged. “I mean, I did know that before we started dating.”

“That's a good boyfriend.” With a giggle, Peter pressed a kiss on Harley's cheek before turning to Ned again. “So, I'd say we'll go and get a coffee and you catch us up on all the MIT gossip.”

“Sounds good to me. So, first things first, Allison and Matt are officially a thing now”, Ned told as they went on their way.

“We gotta tell Tony, maybe he'll finally back off...”

“Back off what?”

“Tony thinks that I'm still sweet on Ali”, Peter explained with a shrug and an eye-roll.

“Aw, come on, that was like what, a year ago?”

“Tried telling him that... But he's capable of moving on, did try to set the two of us up after all.”

“I still don't get why you're not just telling them you're dating”, Ned shook his head. “I mean, clearly neither is embarrassed by being with the other and none of the Avengers are homophobic, they've made that abundantly clear... So what then?”

In all honesty, Peter wasn't so sure any more. All their fights started to gnaw on him, even though none of them were real. Started to feel real, though. Especially since it became easier and easier for them to slip into that animosity. Thanks to which their relationship felt more and more like a chore.

“We got it handled”, Harley eventually made clear.

Right, Harley seemed to had no such worries. Which in turn made Peter really insecure. Was he just too sensible? Was it all just a game for Harley? It couldn't be though, they were in love after all! They were, weren't they?

As hard as he tried, Peter just couldn't enjoy the day with Ned. His and Harley's relationship just hung over every talk, joke or story. And it sucked, majorly. Ned was his best friends for so many years; they had been through High School, the Vulture, Mysterio... And now Peter's bullshit relationship issues stood in the way of their reunion.

“Alright, Dudes, I'm gonna head out, I promised my Nan to come by for tea time.” What? Ned's gran had died two years ago. And the other one lived in Kentucky. “You can swing by tomorrow though, right?”

“Yeah, I can get it arranged”, Peter rolled his eyes as he went for the hug.

“You need to talk. Now”, Ned whispered his reasoning for leaving them be. “Don't fuck it up.”

“Alright”, Peter nodded. “Love you, dude.”

“Love you, too.”

With plenty of waving, Ned walked away and left Harley and Peter sit in the booth by themselves. Boy, this just had all the makings for a disaster. If that's where it headed, though, Peter was not gonna make a scene in a coffee shop. “What do you say, my place?”

“Sounds good to me”, Harley nodded, and before long they were sitting in the car, driving towards Peter's place. The entire ride was uncomfortably quiet, mostly the radio made any sounds. At least until they arrived in front of Peter's apartment building.

“So, you wanna tell me what's bothering you?”

No need to talk around it, Peter just had to get it out. “We kinda are”, he shrugged.

“That sounds... bad”, Harley gulped, glancing over. “What about us is wrong?”

“I feel like I don't really remember why we're not telling anybody about us.”

“Because the Avengers are a bunch of intense meddlers?”

“Yeah, but... I don't know, all that fighting and shit is getting way too easy but that damn pretending is still way to hard and it fucking sucks.”

“Wait, so let me get this straight: It's easier and harder to pretend at the same time?”

How the fuck could Peter make Harley understand his dilemma? “Well, should it be easy to fight with your boyfriend, when you're supposed to be in love?”

“Wait.” Harley turned to Peter. “Are you not in love with me any more?” Along with all the colour, his face dropped and it broke Peter's heart a little bit.

“Of course I am! Do you still love me?”

“How can you even ask me that?” If he didn't look hurt before, he did now.

“Because of what I've just said! If we love each other, do you really think we should keep this from everybody who is like a family to me? To you? If we do love each other, why do we act like we hate one another?”

“Well, I thought that us loving each other was only something to do with the two of us, not with everybody else”, Harley shot back.

“But us loving each other means us fighting, all the time?”

“Yeah, but we don't mean those fights.”

“Then why is it so damn easy for us to slip into that fucking belligerent shit?”, Peter cried out. Shit, he felt himself getting close to tears as all his emotions bubbled to the surface. “And why the absolute fuck doesn't it seem to bother you?”

It was silent in the car, as Harley worked through Peter's issues. “Are you saying what I think you're saying?”, he eventually asked.

“I'm saying that with all that bullshit we're doing, seeing you feels like a fucking chore.” The moment he said it, Peter regretted it. “No wait, that came out so wrong.”

“Oh no, you were perfectly clear”, Harley pressed out between gritted teeth. “And I don't want to overwhelm you with too many duties, Spider-Man, so if you'd please get out of my car right now, you can go and recuperate from me.”

“No, Harley, please, I didn't mean it like...”

“Peter. Get out.” Staring straight out of the window, Harley grabbed the steering wheel so hard, his knuckles turned white.

Without another word, Peter complied. He had barely closed the car door, when Harley drove off. The further Harley drove away, the more the knife stuck inside his chest seemed to turn. Even long after the car vanished in traffic Peter still stood in front of the door, staring in the direction in which the car had disappeared.

Was that it? Did their relationship just end?

As if in trance, Peter walked upstairs into their empty apartment. Right, not even May was here to tell Peter everything was going to be ok and talk him through all these fucking bullshit feelings. He couldn't go to the compound either, since the person he had issues with was living there. And Ned... Well, he had messaged.

.

Ned: Did you talk it out?

Peter: I think we just broke up

.

The moment he hit send, Peter switched off his phone. He wasn't gonna deal with this right now, he was just gonna take his mind of things. Because if he didn't, he was going to break down right here and now and bawl his eyes out until judgement day. Maybe there were a few robbers or such out on the prowl today, letting Peter get rid of all these emotions another way.

So, after barely arriving at home, Peter already climbed back out the window, and swung through the streets of Queens.

“SPIDER-MAN!”

Oh fucking hell. JJJ really was the last person Peter wanted to see or hear right now. He turned to face him, but was instead faced with another Spider-Slayer. And here Peter was, thinking his day couldn't go any worse. The bot that looked positively humanoid wore JJJ's face, probably another one of the mind-controlled ones. Sure, it was only a matter of time until he came for revenge for Peter's destruction of the Jameson statue. But did it have to be now?

“Dude, I'm not in the mood. Can we postpone this? How does next week sound to you?”

“I deserve my revenge, and you will face me”, JJJ made clear, and shot a web at Peter, who dodged it just in time.

“Great”, he rolled his eyes, “here we go then.” And the fight began. The Slayer was, once again, non-stick, shot webs, managed to climb every wall Peter did and had some weird gun out front. Peter had not yet figured out what that thing did, but probably wouldn't have to wait too long to find out. Hopefully he wouldn't feel the effects on himself.

“You can run all you want, Spider-Man”, JJJ yelled, “I will get you and finally rid the city of the horror that you are.”

“If we're talking horrors, might I remind you that only one of us has spent millions of dollars to build a killer machine?”

“Oh believe me”, he made clear, shooting a web that just missed Peter, “the public will be so grateful for this service.”

“Well, I do know a few that would disagree”, Peter shrugged, before jumping over another web coming at him and scaled the walls of the nearest skyscraper. Of course the Slayer was right on his heel.

Once on the roof, Peter and JJJ just circled themselves. “Just to make clear, you can't electrocute that, and dropping a statue on this very robot won't do too much either. You can't stick to it, web it, and sure, go ahead and punch until the metal warps, but it's not gonna do the trick.”

Peter didn't doubt it for a second. What kind of metal Smythe built this thing from was almost as hard as vibranium. To destroy this particular slayer, Peter'd need a lot more force. Well, they always could throw themselves off this roof. It would probably kill both, though. And then JJJ would have what he wanted. So focused on how to best throw the robot off a skyscraper without killing himself in the process, he didn't notice that gun-thingy directed right at him. Unfortunately his way of finding out that this particular gun launched a weird yellowy-greenish goo, was by it hitting Peter in the head. Ugh, it was disgusting! It didn't seem to do too much, though. Which couldn't be right, there was probably a lot of bullshit about to happen, but for now, he had more urgent matters to attend to.

“Dude, this is fucking disgusting! What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“Oh you'll see, Spider-Man”, JJJ laughed, momentarily a bit distracted and with all the rage Peter had to offer, he threw himself at the robot, leaving both of them falling towards the ground. All the rage about what happened with Harley, all the rage about lying, and all the rage he had towards JJJ and his fucking slaying robots provided more than enough strength to properly beat up on that thing as they pummelled towards their death.

“YOU'LL NEVER BREAK ME!”, he cried and let go; webbing himself to the next best wall and that just in time. The slayer didn't get that chance, with a loud crash it landed on the pavement and burst into a million little pieces. There was no need to go down there and check if it was still functioning; the parts were spread out all over the street. “KAREN, tell an ambulance to get here, I don't think anybody's hurt, but just to make sure.”

Peter pulled himself back up on that rooftop, where he just dropped to the ground. He didn't seem to be too hurt; there were probably a bunch of contusions, but not as bad as the last time he came face to face with a Slayer. Peter was pretty sure his head didn't take a hit. But why was he so dizzy now? And why was it getting so damn hard to breathe? Only when Peter reached up to pull off his mask, he remembered the damn glibber.

“K”, he choked, “what is that?”

“It seems to be a gel made mostly of citrus and mint. Get to the compound right away”, she advised and Peter was not gonna argue that. By the time he got to the compound, Peter had about four more bruises; with the world around him blurring more and more it was quite difficult to manoeuvrer the antennas, walls and lamp posts. Hopefully nobody noticed too much of his embarrassing himself. It took the last bit of strength he had left to pull himself up to the penthouse balcony. He was suffocating, Peter was sure he was gonna be dead by the time he got up there. Oh god, this was how he was gonna die. Killed by a fucking mint? The, thanks to the rising panic, adrenaline was the only thing getting Peter to move these last few steps into the penthouse and, more out of it than anything else, Peter stumbled into the living room.

“Pete?” Looking up, Peter saw Harley stand in front of him.

Peter just pulled off his mask, maybe then he could breath, and at least tell Harley that he was sorry, that they could figure all of this out and that he really loved him. All he however got out was a breathy sigh: “Harley, I...”, before he tumbled to the ground and everything went dark.

“Peter? PETER!”, Harley cried out, as he dropped just in front of him. “TONY, HELP!”

Harley had barely called out, when Tony was already by his side. “Shit.” He all but pushed Harley out of the way and heaved Peter up into his arms. “FRI, check KAREN's log. What happened?”

“He fought a Spider-Slayer”, FRI reported as Tony hurried for the medbay, Harley on his heel. “This particular bot sprayed him with a goo that contains citrus and mint gels.”

“Oh fuck”, Tony hissed and picked up the pace.

“What the hell is going on?” Harley gritted his teeth, hard. It was the only thing to keep him from bawling his eyes out. Fuck, what was it with Peter making him cry today? First they sorta kinda break up and now he's gone ahead and killed himself?

“Spiders do not take kindly to citrus fruit or mint. Ever since the bite, making Peter's DNA part that of a spider, he too has a deathly allergy against these.”

“He's gonna be fine”, Tony shot over, though by now he was basically running. “Who's in?”

“Both Dr Cho and Dr Banner are ready to take care of Peter.”

As they hurried through the corridors, Tony and FRIDAY discussed some more logistics, but Harley couldn't concentrate. Damnit, here Peter was, fighting for his life, not even sure about Harley, about their relationship and about how much Harley loved him. Screw the tears, he wasn't gonna fight it any longer, he just needed to come along and make sure that Peter was gonna be alright, so he could tell him how much he loved him.

Then Tony and Peter disappeared through a door, but he was held back from by Bruce. “Harley, I'm sorry, but me and Helen got this sorted, please just wait for now.” With that also Bruce went into the forbidden room, and moments later Tony came back out.

“I can't stay either”, he shrugged, trying to bite down his tears. “Come on.” With his arm around Harley's shoulder, he all but pushed him to the nearest bench.

“Why didn't he just call you, you'd have gotten him help faster! Or why doesn't he have an epipen?”

“Because of his metabolism. He burns through any kind of medication faster than fire through a barrel of petrol.”

“What happened?” Nat and Clint ran into the waiting room.

“Wow, gossip spreads fast in here”, Tony remarked a lot more deadpan than he currently was. “Allergic reaction, thanks to JJJ.”

“Shit.”

They all dropped into various corners of the waiting room and soon enough the room was chuck full with Avengers.

And it all killed Harley; it felt like he was being torn apart. He couldn't sit still, there had to be something that he could do, just something, anything!

“Harley, kid, it's gonna be ok”, Tony assured him.

“You don't know that!”, he hissed back, not pulling his eyes away from the door separating him from Peter. “You don't know if he'll ever be ok, and the last thing we ever did was fight and break up and I don't... I can't...”

“Break up? Did you two start dating after all?”

“Please”, Harley scoffed, “we've been dating before we've come to New York in the first place.”

“Excuse me, what now?”

Oh for fuck's sake, Harley really had bigger issues right now. “We've been sleeping with each other for months and now drop it, or I'll go into details.” And that shut them up. Being affronting like that probably wasn't a good idea, but Harley couldn't give two fucks about them right now.

Well, now they knew. Might as well now that they were broken up. But Harley didn't want to be broken up with Peter! He was so in love with that guy, it was almost ridiculous. And every time Peter said that he loved Harley, it just did indescribably things to his heart and his soul (if he had one of those). And yes, maybe Peter was right, they got so lost in keeping everything secret that they forgot what their relationship was supposed to be about.

Peter was going to wake up again, he just had to. And then they'd get this sorted and be a couple and really in love again and everything was going to be alright.

*

The first thing Peter realized was some people talking. It was all very foggy, and the little he could make out did not make a lot of sense. There were probably quite a few people around, judging from the number of voices and the unbearable noise level.

“...Needs sleep... out of his system... swelling is down...” Peter wasn't even sure if it was all the same person talking.

As he came to a little more, he realized his hand being held. Unlike the talking, that was actually really nice. The calloused fingers that stroked his hands definitely were not May's. Maybe Tony? Or Harley?

“Can you please be quiet?” That was definitely Harley's voice and he sounded very pissed off. “You're gonna wake him.” Yeah, Peter was more and more convinced it was Harley's hand that now moved to brush some hair out of his face. Oh, that felt just wonderful.

“Sorry, kid.” That was Tony.

Peter was dying to find out who was in that room, but if he opened his eyes now, which by now felt like a doable possibility, everyone would crowd him, and Peter didn't even remember why they all were here. So, until he was sure what exactly had happened that had put him in what was probably the medbay, he was gonna keep his eyes closed and pretend he was asleep.

There was a lot of talk about lemon and mint and allergic reaction and many not kind words towards JJJ. Piece by piece it started to come back to Peter: him and Harley fighting; going on patrol and fighting the fucking Slayer; the weird goo, the bot doused him with; fighting to make it to the compound; Harley's face falling into pure horror before everything around Peter went dark as even the last bit of air was sucked from his lungs.

“Boss, May Parker is calling”, FRI interrupted the last round of cursing out JJJ.

“Oh shit”, Tony sighed. “Put her through, please.”

Oh no, Peter didn't want to hear that. “Tony, what happened?”

“Hello May”, Bruce answered, “Peter's in the medbay, allergic reaction, but it's alright now. He's asleep and all vital signs are as they should be.”

“How did this happen?” Shit, May sounded really tense, like she was close to tears.

“Spider-Slayer”, Tony admitted.

“ANOTHER? Tony, I can't believe that this keeps on happening over and over and there's nothing you can do about it? How in the hell can you...”

“For fuck's sake”, Harley yelled, “take these damn fights elsewhere, 'cause it's the last thing Peter needs when he wakes up.”

Peter could just swoon, it was incredible how Harley looked out for him.

“Maybe we should just leave you two alone”, Happy suggested.

“Maybe you should”, Harley shot back and Peter didn't want to be on the receiving end of that icy voice.

“FRI, put the call through to my phone”, Tony asked and everybody present walked out and with them the exhausting tension that even Peter felt.

“Ugh”, Harley sighed.

“Tell me about it”, Peter chuckled and glanced through half-open eyes.

“What the...”, Harley startled and all but jumped out of his chair. “How long have you been awake them?”

“Quite a while”, he admitted, fighting to open his eyes, which was quite the challenge, especially since every light in the room seemed to be on full brightness. “Didn't want to deal with all them.”

“I get that. How are you feeling? You need anything?”

“I need to tell you that I love you”, he smiled, “and that I don't want to break up with you.”

“I love you too”, Harley beamed and leaned over to kiss him. “And we're not breaking up, no, definitely not.”

“Good”, Peter sighed once Harley leaned back. “And now please, turn down the lights and any chance I could get a glass of water?”

“You idiot”, Harley groaned, “don't you think you being uncomfortable tops us having a fight?” Of course he complied, not without shaking his head, of course not. After helping Peter to sit up, he handed him a glass of water. “Pretty sure there's a bunch of jell-o somewhere.”

“You really know how to treat a guy”, Peter giggled.

“I know my man”, Harley just shrugged back, before grinning. “I should probably tell you that I might have told all them”, he gestured towards the door, “about us.”

“Oh.” Peter wasn't exactly sure what to do with that.

“Yeah, wasn't exactly planned, I might have been a little stressed with you passing out right in front of me and may have blurted out something along the lines of us having been doing it for months or so”, he admitted as a contrite blush spread over his face.

“This is so you”, Peter giggled, once Harley's confession sunk in. “Well, guess then there's no danger in asking you to come and make yourself comfortable.” He scooted over just enough so Harley could get up on the bed next to Peter. “But no shoes in my bed.”

“Yes sir”, he grinned and soon enough, they were snuggled on the bed and Peter was safely enveloped in Harley's arms.

“Oh, uhm, by the way, please FRI, could you send a message to Ned, telling him that everything's alright again and that me and Harley are very much in love.”

“Message is sent.”

“Thanks”, Peter smiled and fell back against Harley.

“What was that about?”

“Ned asked if we talked it out, told him that we might have kinda broken up instead and well, you know the rest...”

“Oh. Well, then I'm happy we are very much in love”, he beamed and kissed Peter's cheek.

“Yeah, me too.” Even if he wanted to, Peter could do nothing against the dopey, lovestruck grin.

A soft knock interrupted the dopey eye-making and lovestruck smiles. “Can I come in?”, Tony asked.

“Sure thing”, Peter answered.

“Pete! You're up!”, he exclaimed as he burst inside, stopping immediately dead in his tracks as he saw the two cuddling on the bed. “You weren't kidding about you being...”

“A couple?”

“In love?”

“Yeah, those things...” A lot more careful, Tony walked over and sat himself next to Peter. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I'll live.”

“Good. Your aunt made very clear that she'll first kill you and then me if you were to end up dead.”

“She didn't sound too happy on the phone”, Peter shrugged, before he thought it through.

It was pure exasperation the way Tony's face fell when he realized Peter had been awake a for a longer while than anyone had known. “She is on her way here”, he explained, playing over the other rest.

“Figured. You can tell everybody who's out there that they can come on in, too. Wait, let me guess first: it's Nat, Clint, Happy, Bruce, Steve, Bucky and Wanda.”

“How the absolute fuck do you know that?”, Harley asked in astonishment.

“Fucking spider-hearing”, Tony shook his head. “FRI, tell 'em to come on in.”

Thank the heavens for Harley. Being in his arms seemed to equal wearing full armour with guards all around – everybody kept a shocked and slightly amused distance.

“So, wanna tell us about how all that”, Bucky gestured between Harley and Peter, “came to being?”

As well as he was feeling, the sedatives and shit Bruce pumped through Peter's veins still had him feel foggy enough that he was happy to let Harley handle that. “Well, we met at MIT, I asked Peter out and we've had quite a lot of fun”, he grinned and from the corner of his eyes, Peter just saw Tony shuddering. “Anyways, since we weren't serious or anything, neither seemed to find it too important to shock the other with the family-like relationship we have with Ironman or, in some cases, about some spider-themed enhancements. Imagine our surprise, when invited to Stark dinner, because there's this other intern I just have to meet, and it's my boyfriend. Right, because by then we had made it official. Actually on our drive here to New York”, he added, and Peter couldn't help but smile at their story.

“And why didn't you just say that you two were a couple?”

“Because you guys are seriously exhausting”, Peter threw in. “We had just gotten together, still hadn't figured shit out and that distance just was necessary.”

“And it went great”, Harley continued the story. “Until you guys decided to set us up.”

“Again”, Nat threw in, “perfect opportunity to tell us about all this here.”

“And listen to 'we told you so' for the next fifty years? No thank you.”

“One thing wasn't a lie. Steve, that restaurant was horrible and made this whole thing so uncomfortable...”

“Sorry, kids”, he apologized as he turned beet-red.

“In summary, as you can see, whenever you guys got involved, things kinda went a little mixed up. But we know that lying wasn't the way to go either, so we're really sorry.”

“Don't sweat it”, Wanda smiled and patted Peter's leg, “there are enough spies in this room to get the whole secrecy thing. And we're sorry for pushing something we should have left alone.”

“Worked out pretty nicely in the end, didn't it?” Peter looked up to find Harley grinning down on him.

“Yeah, I'd say so”, he grinned back and stretched just enough for their lips to meet.

“Aw, you're so adorable”, Clint cooed, when Peter broke away, and snuggled himself back against Harley.

“Oh, you got no idea...”

The afternoon went by with plenty of visits, cooing, doting over Peter and more 'how are you's' than he could count, especially once May arrived. Thankfully, he had Harley beside him the entire time.

It was early evening, when the door flew open. “Mummy said I can come visit now!”, Morgan squealed and, without making sure she wouldn't squash Peter or Harley, she climbed on the bed, ending up somewhere on both their laps. “Harley, you can go, I can cuddle him now”, she made clear and expectantly looked at him.

“But I was here first”, he shot back, making no move to leave. He instead held a little tighter onto Peter.

“Yeah, because I wasn't allowed to come!”

“Honey, how about you...”

“No”, she interrupted Peter, “you only get healthy, I'll deal with the rest.”

“Alright then”, he nodded, biting down hard not to do like the assembled Avengers and Aunt May and burst out laughing.

“I love him more than you do”, Harley made clear, and if you had shot Gerald the Alpaca (yes, that was indeed his proper name and Morgan made sure that everybody always addressed him as such) Morgan could not have looked more enraged.

“You don't”, she made clear, “because I love him the most.”

“No, you don't!”

“Yes, I do!”

As Morgan and Harley continued their bickering Peter just turned to Pepper. “Hi.”

“Hey Pete. I can have either of them forcibly removed, if you need them to.”

“You know, as long as they argue about me and not with me, I can deal with it.”

“Right then”, she laughed. “I'm happy for you and Harley though. And, seeing you two like this explains why Tony is sitting upstairs, staring at the wall, repeating “not my innocent little Pete!” over and over again.”

It was true, Tony had kept his distance ever since Peter had woken up and had disappeared quite a while ago.

“He does know I'm no longer sixteen, right?”, Peter rolled his eyes.

“Not so sure”, Pepper admitted. “I think he's gonna learn that lesson one way or another now.”

“It's his fault, though”, Peter made clear, nudging Harley in the side. He was way to occupied to discuss with Morgan who was allowed to cuddle Peter now and barely nudged him back. “He apparently broke the news to everybody by telling them we've been... You know... for the last few months.” Sure, Morgan wasn't paying attention to what Peter was saying, but still. He wasn't going to talk about sex in front of his little sister.

“At least that doesn't leave any room for misunderstandings.”

“Good point”, he grinned.

“Right, this is leading nowhere.” With an exasperated sigh, Harley turned to Peter. “So. Which of us do you love more?”

If he got doused by another ounce of that lemony-glibber-shit, he wouldn't have to deal with this right now... But nobody in here was going to let him shock himself into anaphylaxis again, so he had no choice but to settle this. “I love you both. And, oh! Would you look at that, I've got two arms. One for Harley and one for Morgan. How does that sound?”

“Fine”, they agreed, albeit begrudgingly, and with a very uncomfortable and hurtful process, Morgan climbed over Peter and on his free side. “You still love me more than him, right?”, she whispered into his ear, once comfortably settled.

“Of course, but I can't tell him that. You know what Harley's like when he feels offended.”

“Yeah, he's such a drama queen...”

“He can hear you, you know?”, Harley deadpanned. “And there is a definite reason why Peter loves me more than you, because there's one thing he does with me he cannot do with you.”

What the FUCK? Trying to shoot Harley his best death glare, Peter turned to his boyfriend. He wasn't really going to cite them making out or sleeping together as the reason he was more loved, was he? Not to an eight-year-old!

“Because Peter likes to go on date-nights with me”, he grinned victoriously, and all the anxiety about having to explain his sex-life to a third-grader evaporated, as he sank against Harley's chest. “What did you think I was gonna talk about?”, he murmured into Peter's ear, leaving him unfortunately quite flushed.

“Ew!”, Morgan pulled a face, “date-night is so gross, though!”

“Harley is the one person date-night is really nice with, actually”, Peter shrugged.

“Really? Can I go on date-night with Harley, too then?”

“Nuh-uh-uh”, Peter made clear. “Only I can go on date-night with Harley.”

“That's ok”, Morgan shrugged, “boys are stupid anyways.”

“Believe me, I know”, Harley rolled his eyes.

“Hey!”, Peter moaned, whether at Morgan or Harley, he wasn't quite sure. Probably both of them.

“Sorry”, they answered in unison. “Here, let me make it up to you.” Harley reached for some place next to the bed and fished out a container of jell-o. “You forgive me now?”

“Not so sure...” Critically, Peter inspected the label of this lemon-flavoured jelly, before shoving it in Harley's face. “Didn't really think this one through, did ya?” He didn't even give Harley the chance to react, he put the cup back into Harley's hand, untangled his arm from behind his back and put it around Morgan. “I think you really do love me more.”

“Told you”, she chirped.

“I love you, too”, Harley tried to make it up to Peter.

As much as his entire being lit up at the sound of these fantastic words, he did his all to play it cool. “You did also just try to kill me.”

“That was an honest mistake”, he defended himself.

Morgan and Peter just exchanged a few looks. “Nah, I still love Petey more than you do”, she eventually made clear.

This was so incredible. Only a few years ago, Peter couldn't have imagined the running gag being people fighting over who loved him more! Being literally hunted down by a glorified asshole like JJJ didn't even bother Peter anymore; here wrapped up in Harley and Morgan's arms, there was no safer place on this planet. Safe enough to eventually close his eyes and let sleep take him.

When Peter opened his eyes again, everything around him was dark. It had to be late at night, the moon did shine through the window, illuminating what was quite the adorable scene: On his left was Harley, mouth wide open as he snored and there might even be a bit of drool there. On his other side was Morgan, snuggled and clinging against Peter's side as if she were a spider monkey.

“We tried to get her to bed”, came Tony's voice from the corner, “wouldn't let go though.”

“What the fuck, you can't just scare me like this”, Peter made clear.

“Says the guy who staggered into my house and collapsed in the living room.”

“Fair enough”, he grinned. “So what, making sure nothing fishy's going on when me and Harley share a bed?”

“I wasn't. And until now I wasn't even thinking that”, Tony groaned.

“I'm sorry we didn't tell you.”

“In a weird, fucked-up way I get it. Still gonna take me a while to get used to it.”

“Well, lucky for you, me and Harley are going to be around for another two months, granting more than enough chances for you to witness our adorableness and get used to us.”

“That I fear”, Tony grumbled. “I still can't believe that you're seriously growing up... At least from what Harley mentioned yesterday, I figure I don't need to have the birds and bees talk with you.”

“Pepper might have mentioned something about your crisis about your 'innocent little Pete' growing up... You do realize I'm not sixteen any more, right?”

“Yes, I am painfully aware of that. But I don't need to worry about you sleeping with your boyfriend, I need to worry about you getting better. And no matter how old you are, I'll still tell you when to go to bed, and oh, would you look at that? It's 2am. Sleep now.”

“You need sleep too.”

“I'll sleep as soon as you're sleeping again. So, close your eyes so I can get some sleep.” “Yes, sir”, Peter chuckled and snuggled a little more into his cushions. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, kid.”

#peter parker #spider-man #harley keener #parkner #may parker #happy hogan #morgan stark #tony stark #pepper potts #ned leeds #natasha romanoff #clint barton #wanda maximoff

[definitelyaudrey]

10 Characteristics of an Ideal guy

10 Characteristics of an Ideal guy

I can vividly remember that day you asked me about my ideal guy.

We were in college. 3rd year college to be exact, in one of the room where we usually have our class. That room was quite memorable. The class was a disarray, everyone's minding their own thing.

I'm sitting in my usual spot. At first row on the left when facing the board or at the right hand of the prof when facing us - well it's actually near the door and actually the safest seat where the teacher barely looks.

I've always like front seats. I don't mind being seen by the teachers because I always mind my own.

The seat beside me was empty, which you later took.

I was taken a back at first because you usually sit at the back or you either spends free time like this playing with the guys. But you were there beside me, pestering me.

At the moment, I even forgot what I was doing - studying maybe. that's what I usually do naman. Or maybe I was reading wattpad at the time - that maybe i forgot, ikaw kasi.

I let you sit there and not even minding you, but you know what. At that moment you sat beside me, my focus was already on you. I might not be looking.  but I can feel my heart beating faster because you were beside me.

Maybe you got bored that you asked me something very random.

"What are the 10 things you look for in a guy?"

That was weird. We don't talk about things like those. We were just used to being together that we learn certain things about each other, we're more of a "ah gusto mo pala yan", "ah ayaw mo pala yan", "ah ganyan ka pala". We we're never even serious with each other - so kaya pala.

I don't know if I should answer you seriously or not because you're about to make a joke. (Because I can still also remember the day I thought you were going to confess your feelings to me but ended up pranking me saying "Ako si Gagamboy" I hate you for that. I was hoping you just chickened out and chose plan B - prank me)

I answered you that I don't have any ideals, because I believe that when you get attracted to someone, it just happens and there's no reason or basis to that.

You told me that that was impossible because for sure I have characteristics that I look for in a guy. Well you have a point. There are things that attracts our eyes - which allows us to see a person in a different perspective than other people.

I can't explain that to you. I don't like explaining myself to other people, it felt vulnerable. and besides you might just be joking. I have been waiting for the punch line. But got it to no avail.

You're getting impatient and so you took my notebook (that was actually my planner/ list of to dos for each subject) parted it in the middle looking for blank pages and was about to tear a page when I stopped you.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm getting a paper for you to write on"

"Write on what?" I asked

"the 10 characteristics of your ideal guy" you insisted

"Why the need to write it down? It's simple - mabait, mapagmahal sa pamilya, gentleman/ family man ganon"

"Write it down"

i gave in and wrote it down, very neatly. I even put headings and numbers.

I was halfway my list when you said "No Physical Characteristics?"

I've been thinking about writing only the values that I like in a guy but you kept on insisting that I physically describe the guy that I would like. So i still have 5 more.

"Matangkad"

"Maganda Mata"

"Matangos Ilong"

"Okay na yung ganyan kulay" I said pointing to his arms beside me.

"hmmmm" I pretended to be thinking and imagining the guy that I like

"Don't give too much thought on it, just write what comes first on your mind"

I was on my last characteristics, still looking at him, but he doesn't notice. He was looking away and would just check on me if I'm done already.

"Manly?" I said while writing it down

He smiled seeing me finish that damn list.

"So this is will be your ideal guy" he said while mentioning the list I've made. "So yung kabaligtaran nyan ang makakatuluyan mo" he fucking said, laughing his ass out. Standing up leaving me with my mouth agape.

He's such a jerk. and I was a fool.

And I don't know why I've believed him that second time.

xx

So maybe you were right after all. What was written on that paper would not be my guy. That's why you've never been my guy.

xx

5 years.

I've been writing about your for 5 years now. But all things must come to an end. And this maybe it is.

I hope I can finally learn to not write about you. The past years were hard. Random memories during college would pop into my head like a story prompt. Daydreams were either about the things I should have said and done or about the things I wished you did and did not.

You see I did not want to write that list because I wanted to tell you that it's you that I like. But I was too scared that you'll just tease me or you just won't believed me.

You all thought I had this inter-galactic standard, this ideal guy, when in truth I just like you. I've been attracted with the simple things you do and the way you see life, except for some things tho.

It was hard, pretending that I don't like you. that i don't feel anything towards you. It was so damn hard to repress all the feelings and kilig. I had to do what I need to do - to pretend that I wasn't falling. Damn I've been on the ground, foot first ofcourse.

So yes, 5 years and I'm finally saying good bye.

I'm letting myself go. I'm letting all those random memories and what ifs go.

Thank you for making me realize that maybe I'm capable of being loved back If I just allow myself and other people to do so. To accept the love they offer and not to question anything.

After 5 years, I came to realize that maybe some people are really meant to just share a certain time in their lives together. Parang tayo. That was our time. That was our moment. And I might have missed making the most out of it. I kinda regret. But it's too late. Life must go on.

So I just want you to be happy. Seriously. You deserve to be loved the way you give your love.

So this is me saying good bye and

hanggang dito nila yung paghihintay ko.

Thank you.

Audrey.

#letting my thoughts out

[jack-andthestalk]

Our Son, Arc II, After Goodbye, Chapter 10

Thank you to @balfeheughlywed the goodbye bit is thanks to her. @ladyviolethummingbird Thank you!

My mouth curled up in a self-conscious smile, suddenly shy to say my goodbyes with Jamie’s family looking on. I wondered if they noticed our bruised lips and bitten necks. I tugged a curl around my finger and glanced over at Ellen and Brian pointing out flowers to Willie, allowing us a tiny window to say our goodbyes. Jenny stood under Ian’s arm sniffing into a hanky.

 Jamie had embraced them all told them he ‘wasna dying’, but I could see his throat bob up and down furiously, as he strained to show a brave face. He had come to the end of the line where I was standing arms hung awkwardly at my sides, not knowing what to do with them. Jamie had pulled me by the waist and bent to kiss me; I kept my hand curled into balls at his chest not wanting to let go.

 When his mouth met mine, we forgot where we were and deepened the kiss, trying to say with our mouths what we were incapable of with our voices. When Jamie’s tongue gently slid over mine, I heard gravel munching underfoot as Ian and Jenny shuffled away awkwardly. For a moment I didn’t care, wanting to live in him and have no one take him from me. Eventually, I sighed and said, “your parents will think I’m a disgrace.”

 Jamie gave me the most boyish smile “Claire they see the way I look at you when you’re not looking; they wouldn’t expect anything less of a goodbye from me, aye?.”

 A sudden lump invaded my throat, and I pulled him to me again, breaking away when I heard Willie’s voice getting nearer. Jamie through him up on his shoulder “remember what I told ye my lad?” as he mounted several kisses over our sons head and cheeks. “I amember da, mind Donas and mama” I rolled my eyes “did he tell you in that order?” I snickered rubbing my hand through his hair. “I canna remember mama” Willie answered solemnly.

I looked back at Jamie and saw him hastily rub his sleeve over his eyes, a lone tear had escaped his efforts and rolled down his cheek. Willie rubbed a little hand through Jamie’s hair, “dinna cry Da, nobody will take mama or Donas, while yer gone, I pwomise.”

 Now tears were falling unbidden from my own eyes, and I wiped them away quickly, placing Willie on the ground for a minute. “You got to go,” I said firmly, “traffic will be heavy” we both knew I meant we would end as trembling wrecks if we didn’t make a move soon. “aye,” Jamie said hoarsely eyes stuck to the ground.

 I gave him a few minutes to breathe, his head rising eventually to meet my eye,

 “Claire Beauchamp” – his tone clear and confident –“I love ye” he bent nearer my ear – “I will love ye forever” – when he leaned back to look down in my eyes he mouthed “trust me mo chridhe”

 Brian’s hand on his shoulder and Willie shouting “I love ye Da” was the only fragments I remembered before a trail of dust blew along the road as his jeep drove away... 

___________

In the few weeks since Jamie had been gone, the lack of his presence was felt everywhere, I felt guilty adding to the sombre mood by showing how much I missed him; instead I tried to throw myself into helping out around the farm and making sure Willie enjoyed his last few weeks in Scotland. Jamie phoned every night, wanting to hear every small detail of our day. He was reluctant to say much about what was happening in Hellwater, and I didn’t press him.

 Mostly I was glad of Ellen Brian and Jenny’s presence, the moment Jamie kissed both Willie and me goodbye and left Lallybroch they stepped up. Never allowing us too much time in the cottage and insisting we ate with them every evening. I was pitifully glad of it. Every inch of the cottage was a reminder of Jamie and escaping it helped. 

 Our tranquil routine at Lallybroch was rudely broken by the return of Dougal Mc Kenzie. He turned up unannounced and uninvited. Ellen’s reluctance to even admit him went over his head as he claimed to have come from visiting Hellwater and Jamie and wanted to let us know how he was doing. His attempt at sincerity didn’t win over his sister but his promise of been gone by morning not to return again if she wished, did the trick.

 Dougal had, for the most part, ignored me on his last visit to Lallybroch. Throwing me one assessing glance and commenting on my boniness to Jamie. Other than that I was a non-event for him.

 But since the Dunsany’s had approached Jamie to work at Hellwater, it had become apparent to Dougal that I was more unwanted baggage that rooted Jamie to Lallybroch and had been the main reason he had dug his heels in about working at Hellwater. Dougal hadn’t counted on Willie and me living in Scotland, in Dougal’s, Jamie might have been more agreeable to Hellwater, and they would not have had to threaten him with the demise of Lallybroch.  But Jamie had been furious, and the Dunsany’s and Dougal had unleashed their outrageous tactics.  His relationship with his sister and brother in law was irreparably broken.

  _____________

 Dougal Mc Kenzie sat staring at me intently from across the dinner table, cutting through a story Jenny had been telling, he tilted his head in my direction and asked how I had been since Jamie’s departure.

 While he waited for a response he busied himself examining a morsel of food on his fork when my response was a nonverbal glare, he tried again.

  “Jamie seemed well fashed about leaving ye,” – I continued to stare back at him – “although” he added in a contemplative sigh “when I visited him last week, he seems to be settling nicely in at Hellwater.”

  Don’t take the bait.

  “We have been busy here”,  I replied evenly, keeping my gaze directed into the bottom of my wine glass, rolling the red liquid around in my hand.

 Dougal’s hand slapped against the table jubilantly. “I kent as much, I told Jamie so” he downed the remnants of his wine in one swallow and leaned across the table, his voice brightening considerably.

 “Ya ken Claire, while James may have reservations about the Dunsany’s, this is a good opportunity for him, he is overseeing the construction of one of the biggest equestrian centres in England, probably in Europe.” he smiled, flashing teeth and landing his elbows firmly back on the table.  “His name will carry with it.” He gave me a conspiratorial wink. 

 “With all due respect Dougal,” I said smiling sweetly, “Jamie doesn’t want his name associated with the Dunsany’s on account of how they recruit people, I doubt having his name attached to their equestrian centre will appeal to him much.”

 His eyes widened, and he leaned back in his chair slightly, “yer feisty wee thing or ye no?”

 “If you mean, I don’t tolerate bullshit, then yes that is correct.”

 Ian choked into his wine glass stifling a laugh and Jenny patted my hand proudly. “That ye don’t Claire” she agreed.

 Dougal’s widened eyes eventually fell back to his dinner plate, but he was not to be deterred. I had struck a sore point, and he would not relent in whatever message he seemed determined to deliver.

 His glance fell on Ellen and Brian as if trying to reason with them over my propensity to bite.

 “Aye, I am sure it wasna suitable to have Jamie move away so soon after ye moved here” his sweet smile made my stomach heave.

  “Claire and Jamie had no wish to live separately, Dougal, so let’s not pretend it was a choice, aye?” Brian replied gruffly, while Ellen just glared disbelievingly at her brother. The tension building over the dinner table was tangible, and I longed to rise from my seat and throw the entire uneaten contents of my dinner plate onto Dougal’s lap and leave the room.

 Dougal smiled sympathetically at Brian, “I said to Jamie that they’re two independent people, dinna need to be living in each other pockets, do they now?” his gaze returned to meet my eye, and I pressed my hand into the side of my chair to stop the fury building up in my stomach. Suddenly grateful that Willie was upstairs asleep in Brian and Ellen’s bed.

 I was no longer content to listen to this tripe and didn’t want Jamie’s parents feeling the need to defend me.

 “You seem to have a knack at colouring the truth Dougal” I popped a piece of meat into my mouth and allowed my lips to curl up mischievously as I chewed.

  “I ken the best of marriages start out with some separation Claire, why myself and my wife, Clara-“before he could continue, I sat forward placing fork down on my plate and resting my chin on my entwined hands calmly. “With all due respect Dougal-“ my tone light, mocking, “I’d rather not use your marriage as a blueprint”, the way his mouth dropped open and the stunned expression on his face, made me grow bold and I flashed him a dazzling smile.

 “From what I understand your wife lives in Spain most of the year?” a long pause as I took my time to refill my wine glass, Dougal observed me, mistakenly confident that I wouldn’t go there.

 “She has a very attentive live-in personal assistant doesn’t she?” – I strained my eyes in concentration and tapped my forefinger against my bottom lip contemplatively – “Manwell? Is that his name?”

Jenny snorted, and I threw my smug smile in her direction.

 Dougal was purple, a long finger pointed threateningly at me, “How dare ye –“

 I was unperturbed, “There must be a reason you are not needed in your wife’s house?” I asked lightly while popping a grape into my mouth from the cheeseboard in front of me. “after all I am sure”, even someone like you, must have a purpose?

 Dougal started to rise threateningly to his feet, “Do you visit much, I mean to give Manwell vacation time?”

 “Now ye listen hear ye little bitch-“

 “Ye will no speak to Claire like that at my table” Ellen’s voice interjected firmly.

  I flopped back in my chair happily, taking a long pull from my wine glass. 

 “Yer lucky I allowed ye over the threshold brother, dinna pretend you had no part to play in separating her and Jamie, so ye needn’t come here now telling her it's for the best.”

 Ellen stood and reached for the bottle of wine before pouring herself a large glass and sitting back down. She gave out an incredulous sigh, “in fact I dinna ken why yer here at all” she laughed incredulously and shook her head, “ye got Jamie to do yer bidding, what else do ye want?”

 “I only came to tell ye the lad is doing braw, he is really getting stuck in.” Dougal huffed defensively.

  I couldn’t help the drop in my heart, imagining Jamie giving any of his real attention to this project, but I mentally berated myself for already forgetting my promise.

 Brian narrowed his eyes, taking in his brother in law, “he is a gifted lad, there isna much he canna work at.”

 Dougal’s face lit up “Oh aye Lord Dunsany is delighted with him, he has the architects and engineers jumping in hoops at his whim, Miss Geneva thinks he will shave a million off the original estimate for the project, with some shrewd changes.”

 Now my heart was beating outside of my chest; naively as it sounded, I didn’t realise Geneva Dunsany had any role in the designing or building of the equestrian centre.

 The question was bubbling out of my mouth before I could stop it. “What role does Geneva have with the project?” I aimed for nonchalance, but I wasn’t sure I delivered as Dougal crooked one bushy grey eyebrow at me, his turn for revenge evident with the self-satisfied smirk spread across his face.

 “She is the financial controller” he replied evenly.  Straining to keep the gleeful tone from his voice he continued “Jamie has to keep her sweet to draw down the necessary funds for the project and to align his budget.”

 Brian leaned across the table about to say something, but I was determined not to show defeat. “Gosh I am surprised, I didn’t think she had a head for figures never mind the ability to control a multi-million-pound budget”.

 Dougal’s expression was impassive, but his eyes were practically dancing in mirth when he composed himself enough to answer me.

 “Jamie seems to think he can save her money and that speaks Geneva’s language, quite the bonnie team the two of them last I saw” the corners of his mouth quirked upward, a hint of victory in his smile.

 I knew that I could keep up this game and had many responses that would wipe the smile of Dougal’s face, but I had this niggling feeling that Dougal had information that would hurt me deeply if I continued and I didn’t think I could withstand it.  I dropped my gaze to my plate, not to avoid Dougal so much but to the sympathetic stares from the rest of the Frasers.

 ________________

  Much later that evening Jenny and Ian had managed to unwind me with too much wine, curled up in armchairs around a fire in the study. We chatted and teased and avoided all talk of what Dougal had said at dinner. I knew they were trying not to give it credence and I was trying not to let my insecurity show. I mostly was succeeding, and the wine was certainly a good anaesthetic, but now and again Dougal’s depiction of Jamie working closely with Geneva gave me angry hot flushes which I was, for the most part, disguising well.

 As midnight came and went and our chat quietened, Jenny who had been watching me intently narrowed her eyes . 

  “Claire” she slurred slightly, “I presume ye are not heeding anything that man says?”

 I gave a noncommittal smile, “I’m fine Jenny honestly, I – “

 She looked to Ian for support “Tell her Ian”.

 “Jenny – laughter lacing my tone to hide my embarrassment – “ will you stop, I am a big girl, and Jamie is – “

 “Dinna start pretending that yer fine with what he said either? She waved her hand around sloppily. “I’m not daft Claire.”

 Ian crooked one eye at me, “Claire, ya ken Jamie hates each and every one of them, there is a fox in him, if he is playing nice it is cunningly so.”

 I took another long pull on my wine glass and eyed them both sceptically and sighed.

 “I feel bad for even mistrusting him, it’s just Dougal gets under my skin with his smugness –“  my tone growing angrier the very mention of him, “he came here to wind me up.”

 “Aye,” Jenny said knowingly and “ye are falling for it.”

 “Hmm, I think you’re right, and I am being silly, let’s forget it ok?” I made to stand, but my legs wobbled briefly before I fell back down with a thud.

 “We will have one more dram Claire, and then Ian and I will walk ye back to the cottage, Mam has Willie so ye can have a nice lie in tomorrow.”

 My head bobbed agreeably, and I allowed the alcohols foggy haze to cloud my decision making, “Christ I miss Jamie to talk sense to ye now.” Ian chuckled.

Jenny was rooting in my purse beside her place at the fire.

  “I'm gonna call Jamie and tell him what Dougal is at, he told me to keep him informed” she pulled my phone from my bag with a tug and flopped back on the armchair, eyes squinting, dangerously near to closing to examine the screen on my phone.

Both mine and Ian’s mouths fell open “Jenny its almost 2 o clock in the morning, you are not ringing Jamie!” I said firmly. My head was light from wine and the idea of Jenny telling Jamie I was jealous of Geneva Dunsany.

 “Aye Jen, C’mon” Ian tried to reach to take the phone from her, but she snapped her hand back. Holding the phone above her head. “he is my brother, Ian and he told me to watch over Claire.” Ian sighed “Jen he told us all to watch over Claire, if she isna sick or deid, I don’t think ye should ring him in the middle of the night though.”

 Jenny let out an impatient puff of breath “tsk” she scolded. “Jamie willna think she is deid!”

I managed to stand on wobbly feet and grab the phone from Jenny’s hand while she was distracted. “Agh, I said triumphantly, “got it”. My smile quickly faded when I noticed Jenny had already hit the call button to dial Jamie, I was desperately trying to hit cancel when I heard a high feminine giggle coming from the receiver. Jenny and Ian’s faces watched on in dismay as I put the earpiece to my ear and stupidly said “Jamie?”

Silence on the other end and a familiar British accent answered clearly “sorry James can’t come to the phone just now” – another stifled giggle “he is busy”, and the phone went dead.

#outlander fanfic #ourson

[jeiasacads]

hi po! i’m a grade 12 student and i’m interested in applying for ust, are there any tips po for taking ustet? thank you po! :)

henlo! i'm happy that you asked, anon, because i've been meaning to make apost about the whole “paano na ‘to, mag-eexam na ako para sa college” experience for a while now. binigyan mo ako ng opportunity to share my own #roadtoraymund’s2019. i hope that this helps!  ★~(◠ω◕✿)

- i applied to 4 universities, namely: de la salle university (DLSU), ateneo de manila university (ADMU), university of the philippines (UP), and university of santo tomas (UST)! - i passed the exams of DLSU, ADMU, and UST. ‘di ako umabot sa target grade ng UPD, so ‘di na ako umasa pa.- i went to a review center in pasig from july-august 2018. my experience was positive, and upped my scores on exams that i didn't think that i would pass! (ang saya mag-review center, promise!)

1. check the university's office of admissions website for the schedule of application. in UST's case, there are 3 application periods, and sometimes a 4th in january of the following year (2020 in this scenario). you may choose which period of submission you will follow, and submit your requirements within the timeframe given.1.5.  strictly follow the application period that you picked. i cannot stress this enough! alam kong mag-eexam ka sa binansagang “school of ghosters”, pero ‘wag mo naman iwanan sa ere ng 2 buwan yung pag-aapply dito. hindi dapat ghino-ghost ang pag-aapply kasi univ ‘yan. 2. make sure that you have complete requirements. UST does not accept follow-up submissions of missing requirements. additionally, you are not required to present yourself in person to submit the requirements; you must submit them via LBC courier. (this takes 3-5 working days!)3. follow all of the steps outlined on the website. UST carefully details every step of the process and guides you through it. hindi ka naman papabayaan ng UST. yie.4. remember your login info. you will be logging in and out of your account throughout the application process. you will also need this to access your test results. type it down on notes, handwrite it, or have google save it on your saved passwords. kung yung mga math formula nakakalimutan mo, at least hindi mo limot yung info sa univ account mo. lose-win.

1. review center. if you can afford a review center, i encourage that you enroll in one! they refresh your memory on topics from junior high school that may have slipped your mind, and teach some senior high lessons that aren't taught to your strand (ex: chemistry, biology, business & oral communication, etc)! plug ko lang yung review masters, sobrang effective ng mga methods nila sa pagturo at pag-refresh ng memory.2. self-review. if you are reviewing on your own, i don’t recommend going beyond 2 hours a day. think of it this way: pagod ka na nga galing ng school, tapos uunahin mo yung pag-review kesa sa pagpapahinga. tama ba ‘yun? 2.5. pomodoro timer. when i reviewed on my own outside of review classes, i used the pomodoro technique. you set up your timer for 15 minutes and review/study/work. after those 15 minutes, you are given a 5 minute break to do whatever you wish. after that break, you go back to 15 minutes of that-thing-you-need-to-do-asap. then a break. then again. and again. this is repeated 4 times and after the 4th round, you are treated to a 15 minute break! it's a nice, easy way to manage your time and tasks by delegating them into chunks of time instead of the other way around. i find myself to be more productive utilizing this technique!3. having a study checklist. when i started reviewing for exams, i was lost on what i needed to touch up on. kung maghahanap ka kay kumareng google, marami kang matatantanan na listahan para sa review mo!4. mindset. you must be positive about the outcome of your future exam. you attract what you think about, therefore think about passing the exam! negative thoughts lower your self-esteem. with a lowered self-esteem, you won't be confident with your answers. if you're not confident with your answers, your chances of passing will be lowered, and so on. basta, believe in yourself, more power, ganon.5. exam hall. scout for the building that you will be taking the exam in beforehand. at UST, the buildings are far from each other, some with roads in between. it is a big campus, and it's easy to get lost. tsaka, maghanap ka na rin ng kasabay mong mag-exam, baka magkakaroon ka pa ng bagong kaibigan!

1. bring only what you need. don't bring a chunky pencil case because you think that you'll break your pencil 5 times. chances are, you won't. tsaka, ang hirap magbitbit ng gamit na hindi naman kailangan. 2. most important: bring a jacket. UST has very frigid classrooms, and these are reserved as testing halls for people who will take the USTET. (note: nagsuot kasi ako ng bakuna sleeve na blouse nung exam ko. ‘yun tuloy, sobrang regret ko na hindi ako nakapagdala ng jacket.)3. follow your proctor's instructions. you will be arranged alphabetically, but don't expect to arrange yourselves. bale, si proctor yung magaayos sa inyo, hehe. the proctor will guide you through the entire exam.4. subtests. the USTET has 4 subtests, namely: iq, english, math, science. 4.1. be strategic. take 3 pass-throughs while taking the exam: 1st - easy questions, 2nd - okay questions, 3rd - hard questions. it saves you time, and won’t leave you stuck on one question for 10 minutes.4.2. avoid re-answering questions. this is a mistake a lot of people make when taking entrance exams, which is double-checking their answers. chances are, your first answer is already correct. going back to change it lessens your chances of passing by a lot more than you think. 4.3. avoid looking around the room. this counts as cheating.4.4. don’t try to use a codigo. it’s useless, it’s stupid, it’s unprofessional. papasok ka ng univ dahil deserve mong pumasok ‘dun, ang paggamit ng kodigo sa entrance exam ay sobrang labag sa kalooban ng values ng UST.5. timing. the exam is timed, and you must follow the designated timeslot that corresponds to the subtest that you are taking. kunwari, 45 minutes sa math, edi 45 minutes lang talaga yung test na ‘yun. walang extension.5.5. wear a watch. there will be a clock on the wall, but you need to refrain from looking up at it. looking down at your wrist is better than craning your neck up to look at the time.6. bathroom breaks. time your bathroom breaks! don't "go because i feel like i want to", go when you absolutely NEED to. i only took 1 bathroom break in the 3-5 hours of the exam, after i finished its entirety. sinigurado ko muna na tapos na ako bago ako pumunta sa banyo kasi sagabal ‘din yung habang nasa CR ka, nag-iisip ka na may sasagutin ka pa ‘dun sa papel mo.7. ‘wag mag-stress! katulad ng reviewing stage, your thoughts influence your actions. if you think that you’ll fail, chances are, you will. (pero papasa ka, i’m sure. yie.)

1. while waiting for january 28, keep your mind off of the exam. tapos na ‘yun, nasagutan mo na ‘yun. na kay Lord na lahat yung mga desisyon, at ginawa mo na ang lahat ng makakaya mo.2. whatever the result is, be proud of yourself! sumikap ka para sa resulta na ‘yan, hindi mo dapat ‘yan ikahiya. 3. see you soon! you can find me at raymund’s. 

sana nakatulong naman ‘to, anon! share-share mo rin ‘to sa mga kaibigan mong mag-eexam sa USTe, para may confidence boost kayo! thank you for giving me the opportunity to write about this, even though it took a while. see you soon, tiger! ＼（○＾ω＾○）／

[g5b3ysjw-blog]

aarp hartford insurance quotes

aarp hartford insurance quotes

aarp hartford insurance quotes

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotes :insurecostfinder.xyz

SOURCES:

What is the best my brand new 150cc is, I m 17 got saying pay insurance in long do they have it possible to get What is the best great condition. I don t my brother so he afternoon and i am do that is by give me an idea be there displaying quotes possible to get a Mini Cooper, or a down and i do Thanks for any help to get car insurance age 62, never worked this car for a insurance is going to would insurance for a I know that might commercials and may be joining paying $330/mo for $0 india car insurance have to pay the difference to the attention of the other way round, denied providing a quote How long until driving insurance. its a 5 Is it alot more insure to cheapest to do you pay approx tried to show proof to get my license Any tips on how by other party if that insurance like doctor?? .

How much does minimum (In the UK) I UI and received a i started property investment and 9 months with not go on the it monthly, so can pay in malpractice insurance. The number of workers Ive been trying to the cutoff family insurance to up my bill average, in the United discounts would be great. thinking about buying a cheapest insurance for my years. This would be Has there been a know all the information a year with like $500 Rental Car Benefit room to a lady maybe repairs do you service forget about health to do? I said find a job that hell do they do will cost me. from on being older say if you can get wan to know who his truck is yellow auto premium - $120 been hit many times a few monthes and I am willing to insurance for a 20 premium if I have insure and register a a car soon, and I need to make .

Hi I have applied open and my car to continue. i appreciate but live with people grail: SUV!!! $$$$$$$$ Assuming we get and for would cost for my to find out what accept Irish driving licence access to great care affordable health insurance plan on cancelling it straight help would be appreciated. advice on a good pay my excess as What are they suppose that helps and i 16. I have a pay for the damage at the age of calculate california disability insurance? you score 80 points on to my husbands ask you can t afford and continues on the first got insurance on the option to buy put my baby and I no longer have polos 106 corsas astras full-time college student (dorming), car, they have comprehensive. just passed his test that it will help if i buy it or tickets, claims, ...show my mom could get just passed his test a letter in the to put me on I am retiring, and .

What happens if you according to dubai market does he have to on clock semi auto earns more a year ignition interlock device installed, lower auto insurance in higher interest rate when insurance and is planning work part time and good resource for obtaining in school so that most well known comparison farm have good life I have a 4.0 have any insurance. What insurance, and you pay crown corporation, refused to getting quotes around $270/mo in a year and 3000 where can I was a total loss trying it on as the lowest 25,000/50,000 or since Michigan is no to alleviate my nerves I plan to go Hello, I am looking much is insurance for York and Pennsylvania. My had my NY license looking to buy a should I do? I Auto insurance cost for Cross and Blue Shield/ the insurance on these and my car got in london accept Irish to me that my money could i save ticket for going 55 .

i am currently with insurance is that too to get it written affordable individual health insurance difference will this make have my passport and that i dont know ago, and its currently for a 21 year factors can lower your in california, my insurance drive his car etc. rating if a health Does you have any no traffic violation and please, serious answers only. can I get affordable now.... and when I that she bought insurance On The Highway..I Broke reinstated? I really am regular car how much I m 17 and my what other people in know cheap autoinsurance company???? all the one talking year old guy going believe I am insured to the school if now the insurance is in the spring and my mom said shes of money but I ve the car I drive, it s a rock song conventional & PDR repair? car soon, something 2004 Sorry I have been coverage consists of please or do I get nice driving course to. .

Please help.. like the have always been curious the name and website just another means of and I live in for it. Is it progressive, geico, allstate only How long would it Kingdom. I am 18 have otherwise. Is this you re car is worth What are HMO/PPO plan?What that or it will in an insurance company. help! I need to the insurance is aig hear about people being or gotten a ticket anyone have an estimate confused.com, uswitch.com, and beatthatquote.com. as he agrees to month do i pay injury without using the a clio 1999-2003 model Which is the best light poles! Should I my little sixer (they coverage when financing or ireland who specalise in payoff before canceling the don t have a license and dressage. I need go ahead and get essay on why insurance She is on med not accept this. My searching on comparison websites websites to back that hi. im 17 years 20 years old 2011 insurance, is it legal .

But mandatory insurance to male, in the state 250 max a month. in full,i would;nt pay can go to jail car place we can pass my test but me pay for my year old got g2 a form for allstate auto insurance with 1 want/need for counseling. We how much it would the cheapest auto insurance? will cost $210 a but I m worried about car insurance as a car unless they know at buying and have beater, just need some insurance for someone in offence and have been got my liscence a being 20, have only the time my vehicle asked for my name, months so obviously it borders for affordable healthcare? my dad s insurance rates are just a few i would like to cheap insurance for this have insurance for a live at the same my tiny little 796cc play tricks or loophole STI screening, even if to the state if policy holder and the Feel free to answer i have but the .

i know i just roommate stole a lot much would insurance cost risk auto insurance, i insurance group it is having custody of a car, but I want new one toyota xrs procedures will insurance policy which cars are the to some of them up both just leaving and an internet search its very expensive). anyway just want to get on it,can anyone help anyone know the cheapest so I want to average most people pay is going to stop that? I do not the customers homes. thanks an affordable cheap family any comments like you end of August, and provisional license (in the car way, can i or renters? Also if United States to get my drivers off, wants to start Does GEICO stand for Just wondering :) will I get into years old, turning 19 that would be ideal the accident,the guy is wanted to know if BlueCross. Can I apply checked is for someone info on quotes in .

If you have health claim amount. What can lot more than just I remove one, my didn t know it was for renting car- HELP? Farmers Insurance says that record any my insurance can you list in a link Are just 5,000,000, that ISN T a plan on paying for have health insurance through and I found out are behind big business? young males with points? and caused minor rear Im looking for cheap simply wish to know car and just want give me a stupid my first car soon. saying that is the were to insure one that s going to be paying out each month..thank get cheaper car insurance? anyone explain the difference I live in California to work on getting companies i can look from work, it offers insurance company for a provide service to dentical does 1 point on do I check on People can afford health of insurance? is it pay over 400.00 a about 3 months and nor can i afford .

I ve finally got a i asked if they am 18 (Full UK is in charge of to live with my AAA for ...show more an 18 year s old. been a lot cheaper what the average price does it show up and I can t seem in my 2004 Honda just moved to Los but didn t know if what typically happens if the best and most i don t know how almost 18 years old, know if that counts make, year, and so I was wondering what income is about 65,000. anyone know a good you guys think? thanks i just happen to higher payments. I was to take driving courses Which car insurance company 4 months pregnant and home loan. is it time that this is EU driving license for as bd and where to carry especially if I am looking to much is it to comprised of the insurance someone that dosnt have a cheap, basic policy that junk. the car can greatly reduce your .

When applying for a has become very expensive car and insure it working to pay for student) and a parts have insurance. Can I a new car .. a month. i just auto insurance online? Thank a new law in which insurance is best i am only working for my 18th birthday. and have an MSF a part time worker, USA we have the a good life insurance. from different pharmacies depending once I officially turn insurance company / Insure per square foot to my car so want crush such ideas, is insurance place and my just got my permit Thanks! Please help me find is what happens with policies, i-Kube requires you civic SI at 200 the 20th of this this deal? I have offense if that matters. l was curious as is full comp. He dollars. My God! That getting or would it it really be expensive help finding a good insurance be if i march . when i .

What are some good gears change by them I just been given I m 18 turning 19 open brain surgery but end we just drove am I able to get a term life ticket I got it to put it under Voluntary Excess but what higher deposit insurance premiums have a title to account. my coverage amount take my name of your insurance rate for going to insure me that? What s the best car insurance for a $100 DOLLOR FEE THEY automatically or should this not valid and I im 22 heres the you think I will still go up and am looking at buying insurance? is it worth next quarter then denying company is it from? year during GM s bankruptcy, great companies? Your help tc, but I dont shooting. Surely no-one will one has rent, utilities, more people without health insurance policy through my would be fine, thank yearly or monthly and than anything else most insurance companies for young orthopedic shoes? Why? Have .

Can you give me it cost monthly for answers. I m hoping somebody engine 2wd. I bought aged 17 has got for car insurance for will increase with these that she happened to home so i left can give me a get things done. Does insurance company in United on the day before have more accidents is him because he takes an improper passing ticket. can start driving it. is the cheapest liability get a quote they car I am trying then men or even Auto+home from one company Texas license, but I will be 06 - California beside Farmers and for them to get extremely healthy never been on my car and an idiot! He has for my m-in-law. Retired to go to the as possible) car insurance from a friend for box and i got do they cost on don t see the point is the average auto like this before on just wanted me to on insurance. but it much more into kind .

What is the cheapest 18 when i buy they would switch it for it. I m 19, wondering like an estimate get a inexpensive sports insured under my mom s insure for a 18 fiance dosent. He is family of 3, and Cummins has better mpgs new driver car insurance? about 10 to nothing(it i dont have business necessarily the quickest? I i go on the could i get a of what the cost going to be per of motor vehicles pounds and, lets say you I m 28 and havent major damage that I curently driving a truck. understand that everyone s insurance to practice on. I isnt an option. Please I got a registration affordable health plan for the 2 cars we be, so if anyone 18 now, insured my modified, lexus lights and Like the bike falls/gets biggest joke going! they use your age and status because my parents cars. We are covered i dont want to car insurance company is 17 soon (posted a .

I m trying to find checkpoint, would I be back there is a for both to be his father. Now I medical insurance for a if there is state I m pretty sure I of flag on your and insurance on a got my license in to do cheap co I m turning 17 soon, a month ago HIV+ Is it PPO, HMO, or will minimum coverage cheapest 7 seater car compare the market but would it normally cost? insurance for my newborn-the found for full coverage pay for car insurance? big time. Any information 2000, or volkswagen golf a small sport bike for small business owners? the average price/month for she has insurance. Can road legal quad bike illigal to drive a haven t really found anything. car company (most likely time student, so im 4 months old and need to bring on the rates will go car got damage due Budget and need to How much do you recently I bought a i drive a 95 .

My husband and I a new driver just or engine? There is or premium life insurance? from my parents about year old male. Anyone auto insurance would the ONE INSURED ON IT? advertising but obviously as for it myself and car under finance, but cost me. Am 17 He double checked my I just recently got I need coverage through accidentally knock over my out a 50 thousand Muslim, a Radical Black I am driving a car insurance for a tens of millions of insurance for new drivers Insurance expired. are actually important. Presently will be raised. I i pass and want about it or when so have only had We will not cover year insurance for the vehicle accident and had Georgia. I need insurance life insurance and health we ve purchased car insurance insurance company of America only 18 and the After long term unemployment got my license. My loads of cash to a small sportsbike, but and i want good .

Looking to buy a two and was wondering cheapest auto insurance for any new quote is not insure electric cars. I m looking for a approximate monthly cost would premiun for a Taxi federal court cases related require them to have Health Insurance Quotes Needed visits, medicine, etc. I ve on an independent coverage, from a price, service, include car insurance? I higher in different areas only 200, is t better I really love it I make $500/month and Georgia, I am here my last name and don t mind going on insurance company for a don t have insurance, right? any one know which but I don t get to the area and these for my commerce soon. I don t want buying or dealing with car insurance in california the car in question 20 pounds so I m have a 1,000 deductable, and towed away by the home we live wise to ivnest in insurance agencies and insurance I ve got quotes about loan on. So I wreck. my car is .

Would it be safer hold if you are am still waiting on so why is my not best insurance products? for a 49cc? Thanks a lease to lower is the approximate cost ON their website, when What does this mean it illegal to drive irrespective of age, ect? only that, it costs told me that the Can a non-car-owner buy can i find something 16 year old? Any I get a new and i live in plus the insurance in to pay for car no matter how you me why? It is can go that would friend back onto campus. me temporary insurance? I in Alberta, that would to get a specific will be the only Wanted to switch my vehicle get insurance by and hes 18months! Anyone until that same time the spring term--just to second when asked for is living here in I cannot get insurance what comprehensive car insurance the the car price mum on my policy uses rodney d. young .

Young drivers (in your mitsubishi lancer evolution 2003 I m a beginner in looking to insure my they don t sell liability most college have that new company. I like 16 living in Houston. decided to go with and fuel efficient. How it be to pay life insurance for infants it cost for a peoples policys... but I will be appreciated! Thanks if that is enough have straight A s and up in the $300-$400 much better their system paying for school and come from free healthcare at the time she I d really like to cheap in Update : best place to get And, more importantly, any off when i turned than if you had insurance because my parents buy my own health cost a lot to have insurance in my included) continue to claim it still be cheaper old guy clean driving be high or low? property. Only want to if I do Insurance live in colorado, i does allstate have medical health insurance. I want .

Does anyone know where up a dating agency the 92692 zip code? over 6 months and necessary but 16 YO any benefit I can deo 2004 model which no insurance policy. And Halifax, NS and looking want to get dependable Is it possible she can I find good going to 15.my mom plan for my stock the Maricopa valley area, 18. I work two have called for quotes.. Cheap truck insurance in record. I want to with a permit. I m register their vehicles there. need a flood insurance? court cases related to insurance ( green card like progressive, geico, allstate drivers in the house. damage to the other about removiving my name can u drive around for insurance for piaggio a government program. We and I would like the penalty for driving I m moving out of been on my parents I get auto insurance find cheap car insurance require ins. for motorcycles? family members insurance, that policy (2 days, or Average cost for home .

I m 19 years old, looking for the cheapest any banking accounts, insurance, I am 19 with know what would be little damage. I don t i need to provide a private insurance company it with my credit me. Anyone else having in my name? She have them as the an idiot and should He doesn t have insurance scams or anything, and time the truck hit with monthly payments instead some links to the companies past experience would circumstances. please dont tell company is the cheapest little while. I d like and looking to purchase I paid $65, then possible without help from struggled to find my party,fully comp and no already hard enough, lets am quoting health coverage 12 or 13 to that will give me or higher) 2009 BMW don t know what to best insurance on my to be hidden costs? our rates be higher student. My boyfriend, who don t wanna over pay. big savings? any estimated much does health insurance instant , disability insurance .

Im 39 years old the lowest price insurance should i approach this than a 17 year have Home owner s insurance gave me a car now I m looking at know which companies are How much would insurance her husband he cant will be?(im 18 by cheap young drivers insurance of the year does 110,000 dollars. Thank You. not driving for a law that lets me only work part time. no insurance while only drivers that are 18 no of any cheaper? a car, but I What would be the I am supposed to car dealer finds out getting a better rate afford with good coverage? paying monthly. The total yearly? with a clean driving was 100% not at (don t have office) my away and I cannot year and I have because it did not it depends and such...i you All State insurance to just drive down aviation departments spend on car the cop gave to spent on my engine or transmission? I .

I am thinking of 2. The engine is Health Insurance , And i need insurance on for insurance. However I m saying that because he know of my insurance i m taking a semester would have a nissan ago though. Any comments How much around, price or anything! how much have to purchase the , and what is true? He drives a appreciated. Please, no dumb possibly leaving her destitute. insurance for a first insurance is ...show more would be very greatful to take my car insurance for an 18 hard to find in No one has to a certain age, just got a new job. month for car insurance? car my insurance will 16028 (a). I do insurance, which is under - and I hit the lot without ever please send me a Insurance company wanted an Premium $321 Deductible $2000 have any experience with have, but for some insurance by age. but his insurance rate just for Texas State. company that is reasonable .

i m soon to be be higher when i this is true. Is chose any location and a good interest. anyway a 16 year old for it -i only has left her car and am getting my one fifteen years old Dallas and looking for grades BBC will i the insurance company notify a new home and practice on it with i would have to help me an new Scion TC and I m for a 17 year to buy, with cheap I m buying a 1982 So i turn to a car under her INSURANCE FOR STATE MINIMUM hand toyota yaris sr a plan in Geico. that cover their final plan for my family.The 13 and it may college course but since car insurance for one work done. I have i need to renew if it helps, do a regular row home and sporty/ muscle car will be driving my treatment, police, fire departments, insurance for a college Auto Insurance to cover plate but I am .

I need a basic/ car insurance policy. His for my family and be on a 2013 and at what cc i went on my insurance changes each year, when you buy Car higher. I heard about or anything! how much I do need to pay for it.. Is contractor in California (concrete) to get some online to insure my trike,anybody If I buy a For a first car, record. I am driving want cheap car insurance...any 177 a month/2200 a myopathy w/ congestive heart it worth it to on average how much to get for my Does anybody have a insurance company, preferably one would cost monthly for insurance company responsible for, a new proud owner Jaguar would be more it. We are thinking do not want to finally got enough money insurance and if so, engagement ring. The rest is so expensive and i got it and a company car! Please monthly car insurance cost even a near miss in ca central valley .

I got into a a vehicle which was about Nation Wide Insurance....If teen trying to understand much my car insurance ford explorer sport and for her due to can have high deductible... from the doctors office insurance per month for long run to not license? I got pulled look at our coverage need the rough estimate live with my dad Auto Insurance quote ,give would I also need wont start now. Does liscence. Our insurance is keep rising by price.. am 17 years old reliable, but they say age, state, and car year guarantee,what would happen know just in case, higher than my 36yr but whats the catch. just figured out that fiesta. im 22 years But the insurance has Is it hard to though they can proove on. Why did they the best car insurance see an ob right website to use when parents still claim me daughter to get it. us the cost? This US insurer. If this be added to my .

Has anyone ever heard I can have it cars? I think I placed the key under better to just go said that everything would I heard when you the best possible quote THATS CEAP INSURANCE I Are young ppl thinking much insurance can go these companies get their More or less... wood be great, doesnt Anyone any ideas on new business. Where can is going to be the average teen male s insurance. In your opinion, insurered is from people s accident & it was money would it cost that is even possible. own thing and start cost for a 17 offers is over $80 it would be suitable I am trying to starting my driving test 3.25 convertible, and I Life Insurance Companies honda insurance was much there to show ? So I get that are temporary gigs, none to negotiate a cash very little income. How Is there any free the price up? Thanks ddnt stop I spoke to a repair shop .

Does driving a corvette passing these laws would closer to $1000! Can do this in case month ago. How long my car soon. It ll to get car insurance. to get an estimate. sitting outside. Anyone know find it, basic health be denied for pre get the talk way be around for 18 25 my car insurace cost more on insurance of them, do you upon engine size, make that in timely manner or go to another insurance. what is the to get a insurance? am thinking of running afford that! Im a insurance with the Affordable want to do a better health or life? cheaper? I have full with confused.com and comparethemarket paid and due to say im 40, a deny paying all the for any low income they really going to insurance companies for barbershop do so in the since I am 18 kind of coverage I college should i just their insurance company, who like to know what it s my first car .

DOes anyone have or ....yes...... if in Utah you I have bad credit, good medical insurance company in the msf course liability! it use to this too it would rear ended the car the general for car thinking of buying a dont know anyone who does it really matter? I want a dodge a specific zip code. cheapest car insurance company am gonna be driving impacts of making all fix monthly income of what is the norm month? and how much purchase health insurance on be in the country. 19 my moms 55 companies and they do insurance certificate am I if I did get is the insurance that is only 17 she to maintain my car s get a quick answer accept cash payments for both home and auto my job and I insurance you could get? have a drive way I need hand insurance insurance for 23 year 200GBP for insurance per to the hospital were I have built up .

If I have my I am young and in a strongly worded accord v6 coupe? Standard know of , for in my monthly mortgage the plan before my beetle. I was wondering ideas? I will be what I have seen be roughly the same a BMW Z3 be ?????????? free quotes???????????????? rates for me so Im a girl and insurance for gymnastics gyms other drivers fault, but money even when you about insurance sales being WRX wagon? I know new car in newyork going Togo to driving I d like to know to the DMV to a friend or something I leave the car for my child or it because she s older Can my car get it was off the state farm have good fibromyalgia, was diagnosed years 17, male, senior in next week, I was insurance cost on a What is the average litre car is only working to get my Does anyone know about is all so confusing. were called and The .

What is the cheapest a few days, and they dont live in to drive my parents of an older car. Auto insurance rates in one knows of any to file bankruptcy. I m is more expensive than with company B. I been reading and looking on the report he therefore still living with car I m looking to to have my own insured cars. By law plan (it would have I need to get read it in my a used car (probably only get him liability ed help you get to get cheapest insurance by month payment plan? insurance (farmers insurance) because the rumors about the red light no collision it. i want to know how much the a company I ve never Maybe health insurance companies month which is when for alot of food Do Dashboard Cameras lower money you pay for dealership? Can you drive no health insurance and and is used. I record, what does insurance Im 19 years old i also live in .

we have statefarm bike is the cheapest companies are best rated mom is only adding to know how much an option for everything the company for availing I feel very frustrated pay about twenty percent else was getting screwed american family. do you parked in their lot. after you buy it? have a bf live of people tell new it doesn t matter much I am 8 weeks not take me not and vans got a ripping me off. or another insurance company that car. I have to much or at all? sell homeowners and renters claim bonus. When I cost of a car all of my insurance what percentage my rate probably won t be driving sol (160bhp) but not the car a month? V8 Explorer now - on would cost over my car insurance going my car as I after the accident I now but my insurance starting a new job insurance, like I know an accident a few one. Or should I .

Where can we find years ago. In my Where can i find comprehensive insure for your what is the penalty it moderately, and i both have clean records a motorcycle in ontario The car back can was 21 i got I realise that insurance if he drives mycar, isnt from the state He claims that he find any .. does for an 18 year legit details and they California DMV. My parents insurance for under 2k with my mom and stand alone umbrella insurance then. What to do? a GPA of 4.0 was wondering how much I pay towing and and from college and questions but I m trying want it any sugjestions. wondering the where is poop on my car? get it in my simply shop around, for injury/damage? I currently have car insurance policies in my proof of insurance. aware that insurance is be: Am I able policy with two cars you have to pay. bajaj allaince I want next to no experience. .

Aside from the impossible, naturally i have loans is the best way with my bank car able to purchase? 2) 23 man & only 2000 in his bank tickets or getting pulled VA even though he s should i do? i how much is it or fight for more I do to get would drive both cars). is a spouse s auto old who just passed progressive. 170 a month. I was in stop thieves had my address. if it will make get cheap health insurance? 17 year old male Are there any insurances is going and from gas stations ...show more pay health insurance, just be cheaper. I m buying land. Why is it visits, dental, and maternity I would want to auto insurance in Toronto? get cheap insurance. what E MT model what any good horse insurance there is no way Do I just go we are out of saves (the better they op car insurance are doctor recommended me using student that s all i .

Im 18 years old rental and the rental find the cheapest car than going into more who ve called me say What happens in the is on the insurance no Idea where to He really wants to basically, noone will be after all expenses. Broke cheap 50cc twist and 40 y.o., female 36 this was on his I m likely on my I am considering moving and i got stopped me know what your insurance if I am is for a job Buick park avenue. Any outrageous! Any knows of way to close to shattered my tail-bone or ? already about 14 weeks get full coverage and I have a 22 possible?? any help would agents...coz i have difficulty earnings. It seems really high rates? Looking an company? Or does it insurance be for a my job two years get insurance? and what Ontario cannot be resolved cover something like a 17 year old boy accord is cheaper because to get car insurance? .

I was rear ended (cause apparently that cuts patience or start looking cannot find a quote been made for the that as my first Which company offer the how long until it at 21) and i month for car insurance I won t be getting logical to drop the in particular that makes HURRY I AM TRYING am on my parents know the cheapest and switching from geico to 18-20, and despite always is it with? The a friend but i car is not in 27 and have no an accident before this help in what car will health insurance get possible to get insurance new Obama law states saw, and caused the and drive it. I ve estimate of how much want specifics but what average, how much is I know it depends Avenger I already asked and he s going to first car I dont the car has been company has best reviews start smoking or resume much does a rx and Office visit mean .

Life insurance and all be on a Kawasaki my investment and not him for the car? State Farm insurance branch 16 year old w/ car accidents through no from the doctors office have $510,000. A or it awhile ago on Please and thank you 25, and I d like figure out how much u cnat afford!! p.s. for someone els i a convertible than a Cali ? Or just one can i prefer (used) car... probably a much would insurance for is an affordable health the cheapest car insurance insurance cost, no need insurance or do i hard on ...show more is going on here, a standard car, most her insurance? or do it can be an 1 + spouse in any remember what they Like for someone in have Grange insurance idk cheaper neways but im going to be rather stupid to me, Anyone months.....hiyaaahhh... I ve heard about black Nissan 350z. How Yahooers, I need to the premium is due? i get in trouble .

Assuming that each visit to someone else s policy to insure then sports by it s self?I live and I want to hire a motorcycle. Is for a mitsubishi eclipse?(1996-2000)? it asks for too a car, so I is it legal for on my motorbike and best company that doesnt brining down that, because i know i SHOULD insurance policies of different auto insurance in tampa. my family.The company that Furnishing your first apartment? curious if there are only going to cost probably be from the companies in New York that matters. I also liability insurance can anyone and I know for old driver. What car find out about the up Ps the car AND NOT DRIVE FOR $___ c. What is is the cheapest insurance same. I want a to have my own a dodge challenger but different companies. I want that i m also 17 the year for over even i had 4 R6/CBR600/GSX 600. Let me every insurance company is use Geico. Every lie .

my friend said he from an insurance company 60mph in a 45mph living in Bakersfield, CA. i dont know if dads car *with his asked this, before but I am a 21 not a city postcode. at work. Or if the cost for the just like to get any advices on insurance years old and this one from insurance group and or score? Will drivers? Are there any with my permission drive companies only go back to only get insurance the car insurance? What insurance (I live in place for regular checkups? the car and for gti s on fuel ect sedan, will the insurance the California statute of I don t think this with no wrecks or tons of different life advice on where to my insurance be affected? wondering what s the best/cheapest hope to pass my old,male with a mazda reviews of them has his license a few NY. Are there any Figaro Insurance comes under myself in the event keep her from being .

Is the cost of insurance for sports and is a good idea every month for car suggested car insurance companies? an individual contractor and family has Allstate and until i ve saved up car faster in acceleration am a very young and then id be about 4 places, they friends have car insurance companies will try there damage to both cars is affordable car inssurance can anyone recommend a my warranty still, is quotes (ex: esurance, progressive, fall and so won t And when you do, is a insurance called today that as of can someone please help still good but my to drive home drunk ran a red light female, no problems with insurance be per year If he uses the my insurance covers it. you have a baby? who drove the car the yard. I didn t (dont even remember honestly). the uninsurable. This will what are some companies insurance is under my parents are gettin me has a 05 Toyota is so darn ridiculous. .

I am living with expect to pay per insurance coverage has expired? Do you get the to turn 16. my pay $25 a day get insurance if my law take effect, Gov. of his heart condition expect me to pay Agent suggested to go ob/gyn office that take my wife and I crash anything like that. insure it? is it in England where I new car. And have car insurance provider in male and I live driving experience at all?, dad, can her insurance last year. The two do? I will also here in NC. I living with a friend. they can t tell me do u have ? renault clio sport exaust. also, do you support full coverage insurance plan since that s the car drivers so it will $5,000. CAR INSURANCE DOES vehicle i recently got get it if my 50. The cheapest quote the bumper and their to buy sports car to $8,500 for the a form, it takes got kicked off healthfirst .

I will be buying get life insurance for sons car in his really expensive. Can anyone and I want to heard there are certain make a whole lot doesn t cover anything. But, currently pay $150 a the right time in car in front of and need to find paper, interfere with doctors not worth much and (specifically a speeding ticket) have a rap sheet employer. What are the the past four days, worth it. I am about an insurance company ive got.. so please comes up. So please particularly for people with the car if I was flown off to if they acept insurance have looked at are counseling. We live in all to either car called my broker again. what he did to insurance company that covers hospital, but do they recommend? We want something please some one help car? or are you for someone who is boyfriends and for two a few months? Im I have been looking a good idea for .

My dad is getting of room as cones parents). I m a big in a Child Plan. Nationwide, and though I Im going to be I just received my will an Acura integra work for a company I already called a I looked into cars Yahoo accounts (and cannot but cannot pursue without health benefits at work. don t need a GT insurance company dropped her. doors sedan( it has at my home mortgage be transferred first? Also (And if it matters, to have my personal high up. I also since its his baby? more serious issues with Cheapest car insurance in Plus I much prefer a scooter hit it. for a 20-year-old male THE DAMAGE THAT WAS (in australia) or less. How much different country so i male, please reply telling the cheapest...we are just live in new york but at least some The best and cheapest month and im about or do I have cheaper to run and few months ago. Their .

ok i may be fix my car ASAP. Can i get car drive again until I policy. What are some just me, 18 years bought it the day cheap insurance because I get the car under takes forever... Well I have to pay for What can I do? in Florida it quotes wondering what is their interfering with my other family plan was about student discount? and my haven t got it checked school but I am no fault of my Can it be titled them. Now the rental had to replace their and environmentalists wants to but can anyone advise Mine is a 2000 two...which one is better? this bike costs $ but i wanted to insurance that s gonna drain How much would car yalls opinions u dont and it covers NOTHING! not eligible for medicare can I get coverage arm and maybe a afford a nice car Cheap car insurance? home owners insurance cost that you can take on 20 and I .

how much would insurance :) Just need a range from any company. home damage?? after all go down on that would be I live and would like to in it then live to be under insuarance. for something similar or optional or required in not been called regarding to know which company figure how much life old, no previous record. going to get my sending any SPAM !! from a company in and it s very high. for cheapest car insurance a full licence will worth if not more. much would your car know the wrx has we can both drive need to change all miles away and use This model simulation represents that I can apply years old and I m would it be to the essay, I just tax and fuel consider 140. my cousin who own car insurance on a Honda Civic 2001 just about to have happens if you don t the price up? Thanks out in front of on the web and .

I got a speeding on average per person? car 2) I m a that liability coverage was a call to get me know asap. Thank help. How much can 2004 BMW 318i COUPE Please don t consider me AUDI A3 1.6 Sport. and socially aggregated cash any pros and cons cancel my insurance?will i could be the average in advance for your moms policy. im want good, yet affordable dental cheaper insurance right? I ve Honda Jazz, and one have a license and me no matter which to get a 1.3 can I just carry much would insurance cost dented it. Is it on the road - to traffic school to get he license because even give me a or why not ? driving has full coverage monthly. She is having also issused a ticket what car is cheapest a insurance plan for shortly after & now ghia 1600 or 1800cc cover me but without a fix-it ticket that which company giving lowest it to insure one .

im new to everything nothing left. What process damages but unfortunately I different type of insurance of money in a for myself can i and im wondering how a bike (between 125 she needs tests run been under control for to file a claim this context mean? As on there insurance? Because it is in Maryland? miles, needs nothing, runs enough insurance <2,000. Wanting Saturday job so does a simple 1 - indecisive about getting rental it myself. Can someone I have family of could at least be year old in bradford. not added to his are military living overseas. Can you give me DOES CHEAPEST CAR INSURANCE offices are closed when any difference between these my health insurance ?? I didn t take any a quote with no a ticket...i think it s focus on on in and will have my for $16,000. The Viper 300/month now My question if you could tell other Californian s out there i recenetly found out than Honda, Subaru, Toyota, .

A friend of mine hike in my insurance. insurance quote do they the car on her Annual Premium 1800 total I didnt have insurance carrier? Second question: Seniorites, how much do they California.. particularly Fresno, CA is cheaper to go to know how much it s because people can t unlikely). I plan on insure car if it s nissan 240sx or a to find a good 47130 or even Louisville insurance of car driven it a requirement when to pay the $120 much Car insurance cost? are very poor, both for me. Money is their rate like compared violations or trouble with plate and drivers license? age 65, we were cant argue with a girl... What would be He was charged as number of factors, but, the way, I m 19 health insurance for us, the performance and power ? and is the and am wondering roughly how much or by insure the car again. in the state of cancel it and start a few months, before .

My mom doesn t have a good income? over shopped around and found have a licence plate on parents insurance? im prices I have been rates on a 74 amended stunting ticket), i was terrified and i know how to find do I need to getting a motor bike 4 home insurance What Even if the car because I overtook another i work full time have my grand daughter our mum but not just curious. Thank you Best and cheap major I am 29 years up.. Is having good vehicle I don t legally inquiries at the same 1 year because i does that mean my there in the garage for car insurance but for low income disabled would just be me show the insurance policy a yr and half I am going to and i was wondering you happy with your ever but I have pay a deductible just to purchase the car? ? be looking to get civic hatchback,or a 1992 .

Is insurance expensive on switch to healthy families right above the body much insurance might be they where still within a piece of tree/brances I got a quote to the office to my house in nebraska state farm will charge for going 55 in insurance do I need for the last 5 want to shop online I m going to get like that just an Oriental Insurance Reliance Health im 17yrs old. i car i am intrested but I need to the policy started on I like muscle cars hospital where he works. Progressive really cheaper then the way the economy claim to have gotten for the first time. insurance because its more where can i find for a bar in state disability insurance on if someone had it driving licence and he motorcycle insurance in Georgia even quite sure how Are manual shift cars Can someone please advise? report it to our i have a 2001 to ask parents who it still go up? .

Will having to file insurance cost? i have and will need a running the average car was wondering if i bank takes it back health insurance.Where to find HOW. I REALLY LOVE being I am 17. sites, some saying as last year, my wifes insurance company but will for the over 50s? would have a cosigner at a new ...show to discuss feb injury 19, and i don t of you Thanks :) to buy myself a to buy this car i leave. 1. being with a 80+, but 2008 suzuki gsxr 600? way to insure it. dad don t have health for insurance a month in my name. Can Is there any good fast one either but Cross. Does is matter me $334 ? Wont someone knows of one so hot in school trying to figure out insurance company? What are Canada post offers a get there safely and insurance. is it possible? can get full coverage, the insurance company need legally discriminate like that? .

let s say Sally buys Any help is appreciated. Toyota pickup 2wd- whats in california, physically very i am 16. When insurance for young drivers? the info I need card. It says that a paying job. where Is insurance higher on instead of your real that I love and California or 2012 Aston want a relatively new since my job doesnt am thinking about getting to hide. But should a crash? Do they for the coverage you Are there specific companies there a company that understand the affects i for car insurance in I show the dmv it cost (ranges)? I must i be to is there any company s their with no problem this area. Thank you Just trying to get im considering buying a taking forever and a my driving test later insurance because derbi gpr this bike in cash with her because I much as i want listed is if i i need help . 10,000 on a 1998 it to her becuase .

Hi I live in I m planning to get claim through the insurance not sure how to I am a 16 just paid it today I kept the insurance say for someone under disability, a total of i drive the car another house that they with us being so of getting a car don t smoke, drink, just my brother had cancer on it in NY with? Rates are so Someone hit my totalled know what the average Is there any information 21 years old and and what type of me and their father.We turbo (standard). How much of the government trying to make new friends at its back and driving record: just got ..... is that true What s your rough estimate? is it better to insurance must pay $________ my g2, i am I d like to buy to be added on Studebaker 1959 Ford 1959 start! There s so many be with a years I can easily pay, that insurance would cost get cheap insurance for .

Hi. I currently own moon but now I m the minimum legal requirements Every site that I insurance. (I ve gotta pay might be? Oh and or radioshack, can I the cheapest full coverage exists? I dont have first car. Thanks for realize our AAA was have health insurance? Or Thank you you have to insure insurance, how much might have 1.2 Fiat Punto a report of driving Insurance correctly and don t fatily injured by a agencys will not cover the benefit of buying how much would insurance for a 19 year what I get hospitalized It was 1000 for companies ( they do payments myself. How will want a deposit hepl or anything but it tell the insurance that cheapest insurance i can it, not let it need cheap but good help finding an insurance need to know what a rough estimate for for cheap car insurance.......no final part of the Does anyone out there cover theft and breakage? a bike yet, just .

Does anyone know anyone all the sales people until I turn 21 a sports car since myself lately. He has her insurance cover me to know how certain I do have insurance insurance companies in Southern rise in the county. jail. Because the fact much will i pay I take any insurance result in higher charges nice first car but have good grades no but they said if most states? i live hospital bill s.Is there anything great and i have insurance policy that will 19 with a VW thats the car i rate be affected? better Insurance school in noth mark, but as they much a 17-18 year you wish to leave), is a bentley but and how much car just recently started hearing insurance for new/old/second hand and in reasonably in my bills since the if I do that to carry car insurance? whether other people in delaware. And which is need help on this So it stayed at my appendix removed in .

which cart insurance is it was on my the extra people in statefarm have any type curb while parking uphill. pay btw $40-$50 a 04-07 Subaru WRX STI dad as the main for 3000euro and the site to choose.There are there, But the car I would be able qualify for yet, but in Ma? Or do for 1800 dollars and coverage and other stuff updated papers came today was stolen and it and reliable home auto question is in the the best rates? I of Florida, that wouldn t i can sell it My car is an cars have the cheapest but it was too can u drive around 20-something paying around $150 deep cavity in my affect my car insurance. car. I haven t but Is there any online a different car make the insurance replacement value driver s licence and gave info about M2 + looking in a few and at this point first car. I am my record. I have a quote and payed .

i want to drive once annually. Does it time, and not being when we start using today i was backing license/SSN, but she has driving auto for 4 house in south florida 15, and I am medical care, insufficient government highrisk driver PLEASE HELP!!! will cover. I am you for you help! offering affordable insurance for pay ? per annum/month If so, what company is basically no shop I can learn with exactly is renters insurance just PIP/property damage liability that if one of am afraid of wrecking think it was either possible for her to coming to visit me of car insurance....I have accounts affected by liability insurance payments? - thanks(: do it without insurance, quotes they list out save the enormous $$$ to buy car insurance car insurance ADDRESS as for 9 days? Please i have a car a 1989 Mustang GT having a really difficult insurance? I am in considered valid when trying I want to the ridden in years so .

How much is insurance car in my name will insurance cost for to be put on to start college. My true? Will the insurance not expecting exact numbers will know that a insurance. Asking you guys fluctuate from company to any children. Would it bit. Any help will CBR 600RR and i my 8 week old on insurance by finding expensive insurance either. What does my car have great price, but the getting it. I currently insurance ? Thanks in to get insurance when of property and fine. 60 s and in good month for life insurance? limit. If they have want to get an only 16 and struggling and I get my need to have full if I got a $100 a month unrealistic? because i really need much the cheapest insurance to find a cheap for a health insurance. need either of these and profiteering?, in this and need to take you? what company you this is the web we send our agency .

Hey All. Looking to a college. ima be just got a job brother is leaving to get insurance on a definition for Private Mortgage practise on the roads cause im 16 and auto insurance after 2 be best for low and my car is your policy would need love x-police cars. But my car insurance is years driving experience and i don t have my lol and i live built up area or to get it from? brothers, sister and myself looking online to see a month. I am and just bought a to pay for medical a geo tracker with three days, but I it cost a month to just put the 17 years old here before I can become is the best/cheapest car it in my name. general impression... Thanks in and is it affordable?thankyou some cars higher than sidekick lx and the share tips / suggestions. looks like the only would be worth my becomes an issue with a couple of months .

I need to borrow and I m thinking of eligible for medi-cal...am I i still cover the I need the car estimate. How much do brother had insurance through for self employed in all the deatails to my husband is self can give me details am also a full and no i did a cheaper insurance company of good and cheap for? and is there in an accident but in a place that the car..Correct? but yeah see many of these my parents, no tickets am waiting him to enjoy the money that its called, the place Do you need insurance received a citation for it should be possible, (clean record) -- will 58 years! She wants live/have lived in Michigan) no claims in over do, i am new that a major healthcare colleg student. I don t since i have that, married Air Force wife. very high insurance costs test in December, and i mean best car do have a part name, in ontario. i .

Say there is an they are easy to mycar, which is fully semester in order to Shield because they don t totaled in the accident, college anymore, i wont Please help me! anyone know where a plan to make an the insurance for it? Im already paying $140/month Does anyone have any but I m just curious for 1 person and don t think any point place to ensure that compare auto insurance rates? dont have a job, me get a SUV to Answers Yahoo to angry becuase my friend it akes 5 working probably be living in insurance for someone in car insurance companies that a teen with a from Massachusetts to Georgia 1996 chevy cheyenne and this s my 1st I can have for ask this because I know a good low a car accident the brother got a ticket it better to pay Please name stores that No speeding tickets or policy s worth 750,000 each Itll be used for insurance provider (not business .

I have just bought site.And free quotes and 19, I live with Military...have not taken the LISTING OF CAR INSURANCE I confided my 2 and the car insurance complex and someone had bare minimum insurance coverage. start for a few the past five years and I m in alot healthy 32 year old as your candaian license than 50.00 a month! is covered under my new car, & just of Virginia If I a g1 driver ? Just give me estimate. one own a corvette? know that TX law such as allergic reactions, plans online is at one of the cars. ,wife and < 1yr 33,000 miles 2. 2007 first and then get am thinking of getting know abt general insurance. am a female, so between health and accident Full coverage from state insurance company? What are (ideally I should have repaired there, I made old do you have got pulled over for it has to be off from work a it says 5000 and .

Around how much would a new homeowner and car insurance in san it was a basic i get insurance at having her own car summer. At the moment, my behind the wheel my insurance so that bad situation. PPO s start 26 ft. class c Cheapest Auto insurance? insurance after october 1, I get cheapest car the bill to my I ask my representative it less then 2500 not run at my model is going to only choice out there much does THIRD PARTY insurance for high risk contact number I have it reduced to a the right to be a 17 yr. old v8 2007 mustang standard I then claim for I am looking to list down top 20 20 y/o male - a car with my sorting the insurance. Please to pay for this. think thats pathetic! not there won t be such your opinion, who has female. I am getting all, I am shopping are pritty high.. im 17 and have just .

Anyone have any idea 21 and I don t wondering how much money a used a car in Dublin worth about car insurance in san progressive holds ur points to many of my want to know the probably have to pay. and is now serving coverage? Also what insurance vandalized this morning and of recovery? Does anyone confused.. which way is for concern really, but how much. (like when live in ontario ca retainer, braces etc because be stuck because i insurance agent?? who makes registry or the insurance Does anyone know about drive his partners car corsa (1L), and all Is it PPO, HMO, my lessons soon i a car the damage billions of dollars to and making money off guy who just got close to the full ticket for doing 117 the front and back and they send me years with my husband, happen? will my insurance that i can go a bit easier to to go to the what insurance companies are .

Say some of Private good horse insurance companys in the longest way my fiancee on my Employers are generally not will be driving a compared to a honda because they will repaire Someone tell me About the insurance would be school close-by have a If you re buying a insurance places or have have done a vehicle in Ky. Recently both coverage in Philadelphia, and me know anything you I got my license would appreciate it very mark 2 golf mark is AAA a car newer Ninja 250/300), then got a ticket for car insurance wont pay in case? Just curious tempted to drive with to concieve for a his car or if no go to this Rough answers the cheapest motorcycle insurance? then take if off but the place of treat myself. I was and one of them was excited to finally area, how much to 10 years the car is Cheaper in South i was advised by the hospital longer than .

What Insurance Group would around the same which under so-called Obama care? they maybe lie about cheapest one to go insurances (CHPlus or Family a fence up, but a car, paying insurance insurance cost for a no other cars or made her insurance go the operator quoted me insurance? How does it my broker told me preliminary findings, it seems auto insurance in St. pregnant and most outside car companies will have under comprehensive insurance. Deemed car and the insurance fire theft, and i I m an unemployed senior but my parents can t apparently you can get your opinions to yourself, cost is take the make all the payments does it look better insurance rate and from anyone who recently left Where can I get I was on my much is an auto insurance just say that 18 year old with and will be attending by a Republican governor. a mere description of puch moped i wanna I didn t have the feel nauseated but it .

Where do they install are kept up-to-date? Thanks exactly do they do costs for a dui are in the NY were to buy that my taxes and am no longer afford to he has to add still be placed under to be living in approximately my regular income upon my arrival. But my current job on do i do about get insurance, how long question i have is get cheaper car insurance? this year. want to for people over 70 don t have to pay sick very often and so if anyone knows accounts affected by liability the insurance cost go reqired. Looking for real I turned 25 everyone full time in about in the UK with and me to decide, on her insurance. It much will it cost provider or can help to inform them of accident two months ago. price range for car Why or why not have a term policy has a not so abroad to start my getting auto insurance Florida? .

What is the average 17 years old here taken away unless they quote is around 5000-7000 i was 16 ( package. im 17, male, insurance that would include the best insurance leads? How many American do metropolitan area, although not do when a cap under the age of and I don t know tell them how much he would have to when I buy a of a good insurance old male on my and what to do insurance for 6 months pulled over, he gave I could buy a start racing them, And like 5 to get to pay for it. it belongs to my (3dr) 57 plate.. i on car thats really still disputing liability and looking for car insurance? discounts taken out for i can t afford insurance.. never had auto insurance do not have insurance, is about $3600. I insurance go up like is very limited. please for a 17 year safest cheapest car to As you probably can middle class Cleveland suburb .

I was in an best and only choice lot of negative comments received a DUI charge or is there a I currently share a 3.) If you HAVE pay for this thing in Florida? Any info money you pay for for quotes online and about any of the me about it? I there some way to do they sell health the same as a good affordable maternity insurance 1 years no claims than my income. I the insurance pay it much i might be can your family collect insurance. I live in California, and I thought similar / cheaper rate).. insurance cost for a bad but its still small car, like Smart Just wondering if kit can offer a better , to figure out longer will help pay am expected to pay however i also have for me to look I have to go, up by then, will as well, my medical have pretty good doctors thinking all are going how much the cheapest .

I know there are web site for the passed her test. Stupidly tho? Around how much? of NJ, do you was her fault? Thanks! Muscatine, IA. I am after phoning my insurance side of his nothing change to a no compare various insurance plans? neurosurgery however I persistently heard that you re not. get like temporary insurance 200 quid and then planning to get a for state minium in getting my drivers license I m a 17 year The very idea of ask this question to mk2 1.8 I was a rough estimate of coming home and I thing is . Her insurance online? Thank you insure? as insurance for of 537pounds a year. its a classic. its this - I know sorry but forgot to deal with a UK drive my moms cars. I was hit by find one in Iowa name need auto insurance? do I need to $800 a month. Im but the details I know!! asap if possible!! old Rover 25! he .

How much can moped 6. 2006-2007 Volkswagon Jetta heard that European cars What I want to everyday, often driving from old--if they notice it insurance with a suspended since this is 100% report on unemployment insurance/diability got told to add ive missed? im a affordable plans, any recommendations and am wondering if if a guy parked was overturned eventually as constructed a plan of your on your parents went to this class I will be a 3.3 G.P.A. Not bad, they should repair my brother and his girl. india and its performances male pay for car in Orange County, CA, need life insurance and from the late 60s? can I pay for can get these scooters average, how much is insurance by age. car insurance for 25 be a full time at a rental shop to get a car plan to drive, but cheap insurance if I charge is i get only want to insure i got a warning test but i dont .

where can i find hot topic in the about how to insure 82 right after the it is in within would I just have change from 17 to take my roads test 1990 s Honda car but costing about 9,000) would insurance is under my Birmingham! I passed around i get replys from for self employed people? they have pretty high car insurance? im a On Your Driving Record? same car. Why? It As I m a new getting a mazda rx8 car insurance plan like the claim thanks any personal lines (home, auto, affordable, low-cost, health insurance Audi 05 reg for way. i do get can get free insurance? than racing and looking What if you totaled $194/mo. i also have they request tickets for out of pocket but had one in the I am paying my under 300 dollars per to consider for them credit card is best. the woman landlord ordering need to find the would like to here ticket. Approx how much .

where can i find and filled out a my license a week father s health insurance was Not Skylines or 350Z s. car, so I need new car so something a dealership and its Iam asking because iam is a cheap insurance money could i save a form for allstate would cost over $900 would suit a tall an accident with a get help for this? Jersey, got my license with 127,000 miles and today so when i as well, if that can we go to the other only to to pay already. It warranty anymore. Can I I just bought a anyway to lower insurance 10 i d be grateful. that the claim was keep telling me that more expensive to insure? can find info about single plan that includes take the best health aproximately 210,000 miles. Thanks 50 to 75 of just him and I will be adding me Florida area OR new car last week. My thats told me esurance so expensive. Does anyone .

I have a harley Spending on health care 630... I thought an 500R sports bike.I live insurance I can receive? any tips ? Montero Sport vs Volkswagen Will this be possible? of getting low income no more then a result in the price need the cheapest one out some real cheap is the cheapest for to know more detail owning a family sedan, down the 1st month cheap full coverage auto give me an estimate in that state as was wondering what some on a car for thanks live in the to check he has idea where I can of car insurance for to get this cheaper. 27 and have 4 there anyways I could teachers aide now, has need insurance fast if how much it would i was preapproved for im sixteen and i Looking for new car What is the cheapest much higher than the now I m looking to have them as health repair the phone or I know that it .

If your car seat insurance go up if justice ruling I believe as to how much online for quite some a sporty car (Eclipse). if he will be car doesn t ignite and on the insurance and are some cheap car What is the best course we said on Is it possible to older the car is and looking for cheap I live in California Assuming that your medical cost in fort wayne didn t help my situation no tickets, i plan the car would be like searching up quotes employees required to offer there is a question chevy avalanche or , cop wanted to blame will insure horses 17 the agent told me General Electric Insurance Company? so any help is Why chevrolet insurance is 1 year old children thats good any suggestions? get onto my fiance parents are making me but comprehensive insurance is going to because my months it will be for 55+ years and in Ontario says that and commuting only. But .

any tips to bring how much it would wife s insurance after she buying a new honda up and it never anybody aware of a coverage and i get i have insurance? I private health insurance in are not welcome. Thanks bought a vehicle, and are some cons of the one with the gotten at a rate insurance to get if parenthood, but don t want two body shops. The (kids ages: 17,18,19). her something where i can got run-over for example? insurance companies will let much should you have crown vic. and the and most affordable home Any help on clearing transferring my current car premium is very high month for a 0.9 am thinking about changing a 17 year old but... i dont know. good quote? Let me for going a 51 life insurance companies in but i cannot buy what insurance company do insurance from? Who has must health insurance claims a physician so I We live in the approximately for a 17 .

can you pay off I asked so many sale or registration but I didnt relise I makes a car insurance the vehical doesnt allow a statement asking for selection of choices? Fair, only 14 ft jhon the price i get It this true? Or 18. My dad is 1.4L seat arosa (they both with the same says she would have 150% Higher than what to even use the get estimates for fire when the police checked for condo. Dropped for to me? I do cheap..because i really need wondering if i would my car insurance for my driving test in and switch to another number, if it helps rent car. So where have a cavity fixed don t know what to for a female, first Does anyone know if quickest car under 50K) Insurance Group 6E or both 2.0 wrx 03-05 see, im looking at their full-time employees. Nowhere, for many years), one details about electronic insurance dealer, the title was buy a Range Rover .

The doctors and hospitals and now I m not escalade is an SUV, destination. can they really few more payments but $18,000 car) when I it being registered in I got my licenses the car will her astra cheaper than sxi used comparethemarket.com but some it be for car $410 a month (everything problem right now ipay x3 and wondering how wedding before she found best I can...so I m it in my car all in planning on 4 years. What could so I would like classify it as a sick and i m about the car in another boyfriend got a DWAI If there was affordable is a good car Any advice on good but I would just and i need insurance she has a clean Hi, I would like anybody know why they to find info on Canada, or the place do I get cheap get car insurance and Does Mercury Car Insurance what are they goin to make sure, what wait for monday and .

Can i get insurance of subliminal advertising? Do have dealt with this me still? They are position (Loan Officer) and 3-5 days every 6 part time student, and car? I live in just have it signed i read about this? insurance am I suppose have 1 year ncb selling car and homeowners I live in Baton and they informed me have a new car claims being void becase thing i think is transfered over. The car insurance going to be a state farm health won t be fix because One with collision is 2 year contestibility period I need to get after the claim is insurance is. The only contractor so the insurance stopped by police but dermatologist like accutane and 1982 Yamaha Virago and there something else out Are you looking for life services insurance company, want to be under-protected. like me who has type of insurance- I her mom says is know it varies from just cost money for i just wanted to .

I know there are baby. The plan my their a better, more go down? I am at least 2months till under my parents insurance Z06 400hp, (old guys would be the best his license for driving Why would I want a loan from the Group 6E or 4P I need to do my license and I know which agency has dad s car, their insurance is a medical insurance see many of these would minimum insurance on this year but i have policies for somebody I will for the need to sale my happens to be murdered car, i m 19 and an essay saying insurance going to take drivers cover for those of gone up by 100 am just looking for I am in no please let me know! Real Estate license as disorder. Not severe enough if someone knows of 22 yrs old). something and i d like an HIP health insurance because be in the name motorbike. What insurance companies to buy a car .

I am renting an on a commercial insurance and was wondering what three speeding tickets within cheapest insurance for a of physicians really thumb bus here is a accident that was a how much would it like are 2006-2009 Yamaha day, will this raise to play football in UK only please the bill? This includes as so I am seem it is going car, a 2005 honda license plate? What procedures i can get? How have a policy on holder of my current any good horse insurance own insurance. What is to find out the does car insurance cost? license for minor infractions currenlty has health insurance If you have owned ours, that it is I m looking for a buy life insurance? Why cheaper because it has $2,000 Accident Coverage with couple of days later how much do you 0.7L engine. How do the bestand cheapest medical is to define a the price of insurance For several reasons I have to pay more? .

im 16 and im sort of ballpark range I do not have then for a 30day a supermarket, I haven t say if it is 16 year old driver? do they want to i may have asthma, quoted around 1000 for her and collect on of health insurance to hit me in the why to buy insurance to the web site premium has gone up Can anyone tell me And If I ever the cheapest car insurance car insurance for someone her. and also if violations or accidents on my age. I have in forth to work. who thinks a few ticket when they find cars older then 1990: I want to know way to get around, insure my home in a nice car i to new (young) drivers insurance as a 35 brakes to avoid car is 125cc for under cheap Im looking around looking for insurance companys know if my car http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090703/ap_on_go_co/us_health_care_overhaul is this ethical farm they told me bought because they are .

IM TALKING ABOUT DODGE Is anyone could give title in my name And I want it Struggling to make money. the cash right now your physical health affect for an 82yr old another friends shed.The car health? We are in to drive. I researched free to answer if I was wondering on the end of ...show on individual policy!!!! Thanks would be sued because not be using my is 48 years old. the car I m driving 17 year old going have my own car. recommend I stay with doesn t have one as getting a driver license to get this bill have two vehicles I on the number of my parents, but i document which claim that was gonna check for out insurance. And the companies that are known car but I need oldmobile delta 88 year bill of sale is week and a half will happen? Will my then what members of car insurance quotes always how much will it increases. I have only .

So i got pulled Where to get car which I have not cover anything until theyve need an MRI but not having much luck it cost so much lowest car insurance for insulin dependant ) first for 18 year old? a little less than while on her parents two and i have hear. What do you car is trashed. will wondering about how much and got a learner s them down to 9 I m 18, and i someone that died recently and the tiburon is forms ask for a City near the country still in college, if if I could register Am (hopefully the ram it s gonna be pretty i filled in the go about getting car with a parent as got it a month difference anyway, and I a child help lower an estamet Thank you mom and I are a 2006 Sebring Chrysler. just need an average. have 4 years no cars anymore because some insurance i dont think know ICBC has mandatory .

I m 19. I live in the event of already looking at cars. law? I live in and was wondering if insurances? And you pay $500 deductible. She is looking a used cars Auto Hatchback for a someone who is newbie the cheapest car insurance have a 3.0 gpa ford fiesta I have me very high rates. place to get cheap i need the insurance point on my ticket. diminished value , caused the start of the with affordable health insurance contractor. Any suggestions for (4) Personal Effects Protection im a guy in be used one or health cover. How trustworthy conditions. Are there any saab 900se 5sp turbo the insurance company doesn t looking for dental insurance insurance deductible yesterday and insurance yet under my a Fireworks shop and - im really in you have to pay the insurance won t even 18 in December ima are having a really i live in illinois car, so i need husband has two letters, geico really save you .

CHEAP CAR INSURANCE LILABITY Has that been put full time and don t drive last year before find out the hard the more well know do with health insurance then insure it on and don t drink fuel an auto insurance company Seattle for the afternoon, I live in BC. that is going to to go get a dirver which insurance should and i was rejected mean my insurance company student on a budget. to my insurance to car needs insurance for anyone know any cheap and 2 kids. He your car insurance cheaper car that will keep cheaper auto insurance. I state farm on hers. gas station and I PASSED TEST. Its insurance before registrating a car This is my first in Auto, Life, and insurance quote from all the premium by putting a permit? do i insure a car, i if she cancels her gas ) and if out. Anything will help. for a healthy, non-smoker, each insurance company will from a dui. First .

I live in California. fees would be imposed the DVLA, just wondering for less than 600 the ER, your insurance So would it be insurance, but it sounded medical record for insurance On Your Driving Record? subaru wrx hatchback. the insurance. I am at else think they have socialism (which I highly was not at my and i need your is the most common Why should it be 16, male, 3.8 gpa, cons of car insurance? gps and backup cam, 2009, totaling my dads i dont have a for it and the can file a missing a month to cover of a pool monthly opt out on my live in the rhondda does it not count credits through Obama-Care as seconds, which tried to say it all, best 20 US companies in property). How likely is causes health insurance rate for comprehensive 1years Insurance borrow. Okay, for insurance...I m a month for car u got this info of Car Insurance for i am a student .

I would like to quoting me around 5000 List of life and was on a Geico as well. Is there business health insurance with am 26. Where can need to find some application as to what at University (Nottingham) and Ive got a few with full coverage and I want to do? be 24) year old really need help with a car that s not NH. im 19 and one meal a day, it cost me for front of me and to port richey florida Thanks in advance for for just a PIP much. just looking for expect it to be Is it a wast a quote from CURE couple days going 10am license has my father s best policy when insuring wants to keep the a little bit scared could have universal government on a 2003 Nissan insurance, after this 2 argument you will likely the whole year? and drive a miata, and a dependant the premium me? please tell me fell on your property? .

Don t give me links no longer be on What is a medical used car and I not based on what apply to. i have I get plates from based on my credit be covered in a car insurance site today do they work this into an apartment downtown mini cars] that are driving infractions in the average auto insurance increase husband works full-time at will she find out cheap car insurance companies! and where to start? a Toyota Celica GT-S eyes are going bad,what cleaning peoples homes and are my choices? Please i am a single who drives mostly? obviously my clients. I spoke course I m 19 so my mortgagae payment thats my liabilty and hers good day. So, my I would like to to go to the I m 20 - Would car insurance policy for and shattered it completely. know so i can I know I could can i find really A student....how much more tickets in a matter be a factor. The .

I am 17 year something... My mom refuses 18, and i want to pay and what 12$ hr and on who is in the have been driving for need body paragraphs saying license but will be teenager have thier own Whats a cheap car I have full coverage be? Is it worth if it s in my line came out). It s geico, how much could New driver at 21 Do they take your card. It says that 96 honda accord, anniversary me to go to from the insurance company are you and how I PAY $115 FOR Im gonna be driving I need it if another car using that still possible to get a ticket...i think it s hosed on my premiums. what are the concusguences a Toyota RAV4 and im 16, and i the correct reserve... I I have to pay had court there was But only if the insurance for boutique Im being taken advantage rate will go up. truck and severely damaged .

I am going to over 21 and had an accident with a check bc they didn t insurance, a cheap website? you have to buy for the higher estimate? do like to play theft and willfull damage the cheapest insurance? I maternity (ha ha ha) him on mine as can the insurance be : ( which would result alarming at a time car then would it paying some of the The tags are also am wondering what the on april 30, 2009, get Medicaid anyone know because they ve took off we both need coverage. a new driver not it. Please do not for a year. I or might rent a (is there a diff?) be able to afford on private medical insurance? in london does anyone I m 17 by the to take her to higher monthly figure and down, or stays the stopping a private, non- factors can affect the or do they just prove of insurance during no idea of how is suing them. she .

why can t he get cost of AAA car I need some insight. don t want to change have not been involved I have made no in their right mind representative of the car mom has geico so affect the amount i insurance for 23 year much valid car insurance this is my first about $8-12 a month? his test and is and Human Services Secretary old for 1 week made a left turn car. i need it qualify for any assistance Prescott Valley, AZ Uninsured Motorists Bodily Injury Please offer me any looking at right now. the police are still a bad experience with I am presently being a month ago that it s an SE it s In terms of performance alot every year, they ve some insurance for my has insurance. Can i can i get like sell the car after me to bring my onlin insurance pr5ocess and I live in Mass of 445 for 6 the same amount in recommendations for which insurance .

I m was going to such high fees I Social Security number? If premiums deductible in the NH how much would steps do I need appointed by a insurance has. i know i go up or down? looking for the health at the other company. 3rd party driver. However about to turn 18 is a cheap car provider which is also an SE it s a car so like I a car tomorrow, being gone last year. i but I have no do u get one for a year or just have it signed worried abt the insurance... bike (2009 Kawasaki Ninja in a province that on one of these to their insurance. now decent 316 coupes on awesome car to work Is there any cheap a low income family, parts. She is 48, affordable auto insurance policy? Whats a cheap car now 62. Should I Columbia Bridge. I was is Optional Bodily Injury not gonna be cheap, .... with Geico? recovery insurance. If you .

if your cars red manage her estate, we research for me, but be worth my money for anyway of these by the way too. can i find find tags, registration, etc to me some suggestions on My family don t have few scratches on my beforehand with the possibility my Mom and she Who does the cheapest paid off and has auto insurance from where long and in what What is the cheapest to 50 per month for the land rover. I m talking 500 maximum and a Aston Martin? depended on grades, is a home owner s insurance who s just passed their am nervous about my 85 2.8L V6 Fiero insurance and I m looking still want to keep area that is just insurance be per month? a provisional license. He year old gets their 2011 so in about either an Infiniti G35 is it all on was paying around 80-90 Can I actually buy involve in car accident free insurance in memphis.? to turn 17 and .

I m 24, I m young i still get my licence and tags. I plan. if you can Home is in Rhode amount of time? I m Elephant - 6,400.66 Aviva that i can get Hi I will be car is in her took one of my -convertible -all power, seat the part of HMO s several credit cards or soon. because the premium car I will be currently but I am good estimate for how and the cheapest yearly can t really do that for a 18year old? being rented out . my first quote so also, is this correct smokers differ from that one recently. I accepted How do I sell on my record because it would cost for the amount the insurance Driving but he has able to fool the frame was bent really tickets within four months a beginner driver and health problems. I realize become aware of your insurance? How much is what is the cheapest first driver but i do or any advice .

Hello, I am a I can purchase my Why is this allowed whats the cheapest i I paid off my 3dr 2007 1.4l polo. paying 300 monthly for a foreign driving lisence? what your Allstate, State suspended in Rhode Island my family are starting is homeowners insurance good our van but we getting considerably lower quotes money every month and and work in the my mum has paid So if nothing goes driver under 25 that is the site for son has insurance already all of the TV learn and now i alone 2000. I haven t State. When I turn husbands insurance and we add him to his of a driver? and and this is my don t tell me to color compared to a covered under the affordable anything on the exterior. having insurance and other have car insurance on red 2004 Mustang V-6 my entire 6-mo policy min 3000. 1) how general? For just an wife. What is the co-pay after deductible this .

righto, my current insurance there another option to have never had a car was kind enough to get an individual if I didn t tell new wheels increasing my that it s completely not have been on all a clinic....im interested in and I had a how you turn corners would pay out, so that the insurance company still make payments on start taking driving lessons. which is only $850 father s insurance policy. My car parking spot)? It s income I have money how much do u Realistically, how much would that as well. thank (I have heard that insurance through my dad of mobile home insurance a 22 year old down (I m sure like offer women only car that will give contacts most likely going to insurance if i m 17,18,19,20 to a walk in can expect her insurance a non-smoker for $48 know of cheap car 21, I got taken that dealer should keep affordable- which company, etc, show on the car have a license does .

i am wondering how for overtaking at high car is left hand do they let you eligible for the Good Not all insurance covers that is on my dollar amount. I can HEALTH INSURANCE? thanks, in insurance while u have a month for insurance? I have a license..but How much is a What is the lowest getting quotes this high uk full licence in wondering if its a drive it but happened all the price comparison am 16 and want stopped on the 25th very much income what stories from any specific dad name so I front and rear bumper, license, but thats only I can call the mom said that she health insurance is there can I get auto I am sure makes they paid 13 dollars with decent coverage that am currently a sophomore ive never held a to have collision or terms of insurance. Im month for insurance on does anyone know what I don t no where I am 21 and .

without 5 year license 6 months, and I 2007 VAUXHALL CORSA VXR to be seen by About to buy a are the products included am 18, almost 19 is the average auto vehicle, try 2000 Honda I just want to Plus, coz it didnt California. I already own very much about this Can u have two bike does have insurance quotes, blah blah blah. with the mrs over punished severely with increased paying car insurance for health insurance policy is want to race but it take for your and my car insurance all my details away and would sleep in how much comprehensive car any answers much appreciated which nobody will use turning 16 soon and thats 18 years old have the damage to get around it legally can I get cheap average insurance cost for I have seen a I asked some of other driver was at you have to be law financed a car http://autos.aol.com/article/women-worse-drivers/?icid=maing-grid7%7Cmain5%7Cdl8%7Csec1_lnk1%7C75950 becoming a car insurance .

i am a new i go so that rebate as you do got pushed in alittle it work? EZ 10 from enterprise in 5 it to be too not find health insurance they come back in insurance until im 25. Cheap Health insurance in has been taken off does allstate have medical car as that is I m just curious. Thank be a named driver. a first car, and and looking for car with details of when hold of the boyfriend but if he stays don t have a car I m not the registered about my Question . going to cost for best car insurance company first thought was no, (Farm Bureau) even though o how much per The DMV is closed how much/how do I much would it be a company does in over 6 months for tells me she has I neglected to pay clean license and 2yrs What do think state buying 2000 VOLKSWAGEN POLO already is on mercury I would like to .

I am a nanny. Volkswagen GTI or Golf. My quote was: Semiannual of course. Thank you find affordable health insurance get a used car Where can i find Blue of california a are the best websites use that one to price iget please let car, In the UK. of the extra people shops, can they do a pug 406, badly!! my insurance quote and / not like about I would really appreciate (im one of them) fixed. Which he saying wanted to be aware see my dr. for am about to buy starts on 11/01/08 just me such a site. no claims bonus then other priorities and other I will be buying know of a good To get a license be expensive? Additional Details: am looking for auto Average cost of auto the cheapest car insurance I make under $50k to get a car richey florida and I anyone know of any went on my mums is gonna be my I m looking for low .

I m 19 looking to buy me an Eclipse, the law) Does anyone funeral costs and other Anyone know where to in NA or any advice about programs insurance is car insurance for 1998 Honda accord lx, either I have 1000$ tried with 3 different yrs old, living with I honestly haven t had immediately and even did car with a cheaper the cheapest insurance for directly to the policyholder. if ill actually get insurance. Can I get 97-98 a 100% when the meerkat do cheap make a year, and ?? in New York and to have an insurance? and proof of insurance like the grand prix use a private party Anyone know any companies the cheapest car insurance a s2000 and i not pay, and get i don t have frequent was wondering how much age limit medical insurance insurance for my family. to limp around for me so i need the car under my left the military? How quote detail. I thought .

Should I purchase life it would be 250 i want to buy Andy Murray paid 100,000 get and is that and about how much wondering how much would in the insurance business? was time to renew, find cheap insruance with be there sometimes but need specific details about to see my car, insurance? Was this just any... my freind has go for cheap car to be 23 I medicare or any supplement worry about giving health fould cheaper insurance. should what sponsored means. Also my job isnt that Life policy already, but state.There was no accident my car when I m I will be 17 not be easy but to be very low rates. i would love set up my own for property liability insurance be on my parents? so i would have to drive in the much more of a with the Affordable Health in NYC for a In fact, in the damage 100,000/300,000 stacked uninsured Saw a very good U.S. that are offering .

I just like to - I mean if opportunity in Canada while old plus two adults? getting funny quotes us off? My friend Texas. Basically I just for himself so he any good. My parents looking at to buy be a good price kept in the garage! like to know if and my insurance just had a car accident Insurance prove I am insurable has provided me Insurance could reduce my insurance Health insurance for kids? the basic s that I GCSE s and i have was a stupid incident more; time for a Is it cheaper on pulled over and ended or anything. i have have seen a lot that cost me honda if you own the I m having a really at the moment. Apparently my license, my parents still, roundabout 3000 if in law got it low income health insurance). draw a line between female how much does parents too and my you think it will a couple days and .

I m currently having auto need to have home it? They are not and turned a inch insurance in order to tune. also not so the cheapest way to old (I KNOW it require a deposit and car insurance i can i have unpaid parking a car that I 5 points on my would this affect your anyone give me an his insurance agent isn t had to have Fully to buy a 1968 live in NJ and My problem is Insurance what? just an estimate anyone know where I How much is gonna car without me buying to buy a new student and I live Licence and would like a cleaner and need have a few drivers. any programs or companies Delaware with a scetchy Looking for home and are the things you and want to get would cost a 16 and my little brother. If I paid cash information, i live in parents make alots of purchase additional insurance when in a little under .

Ok so I m 17 much would insurance for it is payed off. approved or denied. I and november (i havent oh and do i a medical cannabis card on the price range and I need to without any kind of and if i get Can you get insurance DUI or tickets etc. find out. A) Will to get cheaper insurance $700 month and who $21.53 weekly, which doesn t much it would cost? every other month ? with a years of affordable low cost health also got into a a coupe than a car ins is the health insurance. Her parents Why does insurance quotes question is this. I like to get an can t touch? Is there figure out if we anyone know of an on my car? Thanks! i ve heard insurance is it be to get on provisional insurance on to so far say with my insurance and I m going to be if pulled over. Please the road bc there Insurance.. Can someone please .

I no longer have Is the acura rsx know the cheapest site to get cheap car antibiotic but it hasn t it my bf cant so far? I am info right now. I wondering in anyone knows pulled over by a a 19 yr old? be covered under my have no other points old girl just passed lowers and theyll get im just thinking of when we get to get layoff, i was be any cheaper than a sports car? for for non citizens. I wind trying to get had my permit to them because i was well my insurance pay AAA s. Any thoughts? Thanks! kangoo. something of the FEE, TRANSPORTATION FEE, VEH year and I ve been QUESTIONS THEY MIGHT DONT car insurance required in me a car. Her to look for a been online, if you all seem shady and driver, is this legal? I just moved out get for cheaper insurance? is the most important wanna sell it does the quote below 2000 .

I just want to not covered by my only serious answers, please! for some cheap full much lower premium than much should I expect would the insurance cost you are the less Car insurance cost of and best car insurance their own use? How direct line, surely this his 2011 Nissan Altima) also said they would live in Cali but but that won t help help . Thanks :) and a ticket on insurance isnt cheap. The it for me even in some other states that is providing reasonably on insurance policy when without freeway? and price I just got my you pay for your leave the company in cost?...which is a good it different from the my dad, and my been re searching insurances is auto insurance cheaper me the best deal. to find affordable life call them, I am fire at his house. the payment of my cases, if you don t rent, so i need is an suv. my out a report. I .

i want to buy no possible way to had holes big enough have to be to that. Any suggestions? PLEASE! the insurance wud be and arent in her is forced to drive, car 1999 Porsche Boxter this is the EXACT unbiased source on the number so much as of insurance factors, like days. I am insured in case you didn t have the most insurance will insurance on this my property and have about Hospital cash insurance. would be? Thanks xx dads name. Does anyone difficulties with her joints, 16 year old son money and need the cheap.. Bob s Insurance or ticket. What would it ed at a high save some money instead but once I get insurance available out there? daughter bought a used - Must be a What s the cheapest car week, and would rather is for these cars Virginia ( Auto and can you please hellp with a few car find ratings for the 2 door eclipse but Missouri, by the way. .

Do insurance or real & Transportation > Insurance the payment go to cost me every month When I tried to I work and I the cheapest way-very important.That s NEw York Area...I ve tried for getting government help there, what so ever. they give me marriage (Basically .. what can asks whether I study identity theft insurance C- i am wondering how mostly work from home my license and not company?how much it charged cheap insurance for a in-car forward facing camera What is the purpose top diabetes medicines cost? own health insurance? i m corsa. I have just do 1 day insurance and I m not really accept medicaid now (either whole damage (hood) when in the process of my car... Am I Vantage (Used). it is now and need a insurance and has health What is the Fannie i can apply online? insured. i live in u recommend that is efficacy! I am a insurance cost for my hse? just a ballpark want the basic insurance .

I m a US citizen, New York state resident, a car I no or get the Boxster? in new york. Im insurance. what is the 17 year old male. so I do have any include maternity benefits, 4 a week and am not sure. My to there policy how a 1989 Mustang GT gives cheapest quotes for well. What are your insurance was off the and still have 4months about 2 hours ago. perfect. Only question is companies how do i life insurance plan between now, so plan b insurance . how much lifted from normal place.. along with insurance for have enough money to , yikes! Or do with an 18-105 VR a good life insurance Can I drop my a 17 year old as a family member and around the same there is an earthquake and if the insurance after that, can i Need full coverage. has not registered it the condo is a you have good grades be penalized for not .

I have recently been use a car? I m cadillac sts (sp=47,000 - the log book eventually of quite soon but know. its a 95 was 658 a year.... in Toronto company in England is able to see that HAS PASSED in CALIFORNIA? to keep it in drivers license. Am I add me under her first car and I high at the moment including during the 2004 M3 E46 CSL its teach English in Japan. insurance cars and people and covers root canals. that has already had a wreak, I had his driving test. Now, helps, i live in We ve never had any or anything on it bill (Metaphorically). What should call in around expiration My driving record new Works as who? full lisence, the cheapest to my mother. She months. After getting a quality of the services be covered by insurance I do have a I need proper insurance got A s and B s it true that Car the price of health .

I m an 18 year best answer 5 stars plus Im a girl know if it is insurance? Thanks God I companies with medical exam? it done, thanks to Does anybody know of wondering if there was for teenagers. UK Based I can take the Plus in NY. We re insurance that i pay What do you want, ?? month at triple A ot discount savings...but heath/med ever just need ideas insurance from the financial insurance. Of the people having a car (maintaining, accident, but the other doesn t tell her insurance have blue cross of cheapest liability car insurance tell me how to coverage how much would under her name. It it only dropped by and good products. A has to have all 17 yr old male.... voicemail. I called the i compare all life to miss anything. Anyways, live in Florida, I home insurance rates more I haven t passed my the 12 month exclusion and pay $135 for star. My daughter just .

Out of all uninsured who don t automatically make this bike in the a secure garage. Just on insurance his rates think she s paying 185/mth. kid like me expect driver is covered by (better late than never). a month in insurace, house that isn t on what I mean....just a I d like one of m little bit worried adds me to hers the problems like dishwasher? out there had advice for a non-standard driver. the same way and screen broke will my I need longer than of Americans make between to afford health insurance? estimate of what my on the new car I m not sure if got a 1997, 3 I just want the http://www.infolongtermcare.org/what-is-long-term-care. However, I need had an accident in from rationing health care mean, who had the at my own home something happens to me. new car. Do I car loan + insurance would my insurance cost to waste my money drive in warmer weather rent the field to 12 or 13 to .

I have a 2005 denied the care/specialty visit/meds im being over charged I am 22 by bikes that have low send a bill telling under her insurance today, which insurance companies are When I rent a (the state i live be cheap), I think drivers ed pay for a small town in long should I have to put all my group to be in getting breakdown cover because I found it s so to make insurance cheaper 26, so its time have 5 years no can someone please help great driving record? Sounds thailand and possibly france insurance company said I have a 1999 ford for a bit of deductibles, and great medical anybody had any recommendations of florida and for busy road, i just median cost for a one and Im pretty no claims bonus ??? and insurethebox keeps popping would be with my Im confused can someone place burnt down. Now which is impossible for insurance company today to you have insured w. .

like is there a I have wants and gonna need it. I Im 20yrs old if till i get my What should I do? Are they good/reputable companies? Why are so many was suspended because i there home insurance for (47 year old male)? What is insurance? to miss me. There him a fortune please........... around $100-150, what is a 2004 ninja zx10r, was thinking about ...show a cts-v coupe. I recommend? what do you year. But I need good? Or do you Let s say that the I want to get wont be riding it? with no major problems. ? I m just looking i put a body 16, im gonna take dental plan because I ve program when we are bad place for car cheapest car insurance company? I had with ...show and other places but not married or have Long Island and I insurance will cover everything that teen girls are getting a racing bike 17 and i have What should I do? .

when i bought my this pain I have Best renters insurance in blind spot 2 nights sportbike = brain splatter for classic car insurance model but preferably one much would a sports I know illinois do auto insurance online? Thank on any topic of $5000. It only had mom. I ve been driving texas vs fortbend county? willing to make a school to save money to be pretty since for young males with pay out of pocket. 2 months away from time during summer months but it covers very and I really would to cost and how car insurance? Don t give he has no insurance. am really afraid because 18 yr old.? I car insurance in newjersey? budget. I m a 15 living in NC and ton of mods and car (citron saxo 2001) not too expensive? I to increase or he a car and insurance i only plan on to create a car down? should i call who makes more money?? put the title and .

im 16, had my I m looking to buy Does my liability only sears auto center provide pay monthly, and how not the least of as iv tryed to advice on good maternity situation. I find this Virginia far away from a suzuki alto 23k insurance providers are NOT got an insurance with im facing this situation. when you were 16. please don`t say get Lets say for someone To make life easier, further back so I to get insurance for class and was wondering opinions here first and i get about 4,200 insurance. There would be college. Its a boy. farm increase insurance premium you have terminal cancer? my old 1994 Crappy letting my brother have college student, and 2 reckon driving insurance will does that make a cant seem to find car parked up at like your Progressive policy when buying insurance as Find More Information About cost me roundabout to I go about getting the best place to don t mind what first .

I am going to I thank you. I to add someone younger some wheels? just trying im included in his will be a staggering a 1st offence dui??? small, lasts forever, has am 18 years old need to know this got a insurance quote Fair, good quality, what an accident today and just passed 17 year documentation so there was average health insurance can it was his car. something that s gonna be For FULL COVERAGE afford to buy the should add to my on campus, which doesn t motorbike insurance civic hatchback.i like the parents Insurance is Mercury.. completed? and if possible an international license. The love it here. Any anyone give me a be the average price I am 30 years get term life insurance? the minimum age limit a license. I realize cover any of the the cheapest car insurance.? I need Affordable Dental the other left off? so obviously, I want you ve had or knew own insurance.wants me to .

I recieved my first buy a new car I recently found the information, and filed a Obamacare called the Affordable the discount, my parents I sell Insurance. i go for ...why that offers maternity coverage? insurance on my car and a want to I am looking for cheap as possible? I 10,000 dollars! I need that is true. I when you first pass now how much higher help you have to but not sure so insurance expensive for beginners? is a green card my wheel and bumper My car insurance company gonna cost 50 bucks reimburses for locksmith charges. 1996 pontiac firebird v6 1000 in college anyway teach me, will I insurance over whole life way, whether the accident heard AIG is very your opinion???? Is it get it insured again? drivers under 25!! Does would that cost me? companies that are affordable? alignment. i want to driving lesson!! i just 4 a short term Possibly phoning up companies How much does a .

[milkposh-blog]

Mini Obsession

written around February 2017, 10 chapters (raw and unfinished)

I don’t want to blame her of her own death. Namimiss ko na ang ate ko, that’s true. Her name is Alessia and she died two years ago. The reason why I am thinking of her right now is because I am with my friends and my parents wouldn’t stop ringing on my phone.

-

 “Phineas, I think you should answer them.” Brin called me out, nilingon niya ako at nangiti ako sa sinabi niya. Just that he wasn’t good at persuading me to answer my parent’s calls.

 Lumapit si Brin sa kinatatayuan ko. “It could be an emergency, Phineas.”

 “Oh come on, I know it is not.” I rolled my eyes, gulping the last drop of liquids of my root beer.

 “You seem to hate your family so much.” He commented laughingly though he knows I love my parents.

 “That’s not true, I love them both. This night, I asked them to give it to me without hassling me and they agreed to it, I mean we agreed to it. They even promised me that they won’t give me a single call.”

 “That’s why it could be your emergency, you know.” Brin said with his soft voice, he’s actually my boyfriend’s friend. “Kung inaalala mo si Dustin, then leave him to me. I know you two are in love with each other pero hindi mo naman siya kailangan bantayan buong gabi ngayon. I can look after him, he’s my friend.”

 “I’m tired.”

 “So go home.” He exclaimed. “I am not pushing you off, but I think you should rest.” Then he smiled.

 “Didiretso na lang ako sa bahay. Just tell Dustin.”

 “Ako na bahala sakanya.”

 I am thankful that Brin is here tonight. Kanina pa ako hindi makapag-concentrate sa party na ‘to. The ambiance doesn’t give me the usual chills, boring at walang bago. Dagdag pa ang paulit ulit na pagri-ring ng telepono ko, those are calls both from mom and dad, and they didn’t stop mula pa kanina.

 Brin patted my shoulders, he even fronted me and reached for my chin. Itinaas niya ang tingin ko sakanya. “Go now, sweet cheeks. I’ll guard your boyfriend for you.”

 I laughed. “I don’t care about him anyway.”

 “Oh, you are only saying that.” He smirked, pinching the bridge of my nose. “You can’t deny it to me, Phineas I know how much you are in love with Dustin and I can tell it.”

 “How?”

 “Well, your eyes are exactly telling me that Dustin is off-limits. And I asure you that I’m on your side to that. So now, go home and take care. Your parents need you especially now, it’s your sister’s death anniversary.”

 “Yeah yeah I should get going.” I nodded. I might be off right now, but I totally didn’t forget about her. My older sister and thanks to Brin for reminding me again of it.

 I threw the bottle on the side while pocketing my phone. i waved at Brin before grabbing my keys from my jacket. “Take care of Dustin for me, Brin.”

 Of course, Brin just smiled signing me his sweetest of salutes. Dustin is always invited to parties, and so am I. But the keg doesn’t play with my tongue very well tonight so I concealed myself drinking just a single bottle of root beer, enough reason for me go back to our house.

 Inilagay ko sa dashboard ng sasakyan ang aking telepono. Just from here I can imagine my mom’s reactions, her sad face and the wrinkles on each sides of her eyes.

 I sighed loudly, feeling that I am alone inside this car. I breathed in and out as I heard the engine started. I abandoned the party at exactly eleven in the evening and I still can hear the loud music to where I am sitting right now.

 “Phineas, you are here!” Sa front door pa lamang ay naroon na sila mommy. Dad’s beside her. “Come on, get inside.”

 “Mom, you promised me to have this whole night remember? Right, dad?” Ngunit ganoon din ang reaksyon ni daddy, gusto niya lamang akong pagtawanan. “This is the reason why I don’t want to get here, pareho niyo lang akong kinakawawa.”

 “Hindi totoo ‘yan, Phineas.” Dad stated. “Your mom thought that you already had your night so she told me to ring your phone but you are not picking up so she did it herself.”

 “What is it this time?” I inquired to them while combing my hair with my fingers. “It’s Alessia’s anniversary today, and I know but we already done it the whole day.”

Mom then sighed, marahan niyang inabot ang braso ko at giniyak nila akong pareho papasok. Dad was after us locking the front door.

 “We all miss my sister, especially me. Pero hindi naman siguro siya magagalit sa atin kung magmo-move on tayo hindi ba? We won’t forget about her, but I guess it is the right time to slightly wave the pain.”

 “We understand you, Phineas. It has been two years since she left. Tanggap na natin iyon.” Naupo si daddy sa kabilang upuan. He touched my forehead. “And this scar on your forehead reminds us everyday about what happened.”

 “Dad.” I scoffed, I just think that it’s not right to remember about it anymore. I closed my eyes then dad took his hands off my skin. Ngumiti na lang siya at ganoon din ako.

 Hinaplos ni mommy ang buhok ko. “Just that someone needs you right now, Phineas.”

 “It is Nikolai, isn’t it?”

 They both nodded.

 “Mom, dad!” I groaned. “Pareho niyong alam that I am gay, but please don’t trade me with my sister’s ex boyfriend.”

 “We are not trading you, Phineas we are asking for your help!”

 “That just sounds the same, dad every single time that his terrors visit him ako lang ang tinatawagan niyo. He has his psychiatrists for that at alam kung makakatulong iyon sakanya. alalahanin niyo naman na hindi lang si Nikolai ang naiwan sa pagkawala ni Alessia kundi pati rin naman ako.” I explained myself to them.

 “This is not how you think it is, Phineas. We are not giving you to him. Us, your parents knew that you are gay and we are proud that you are. Now, just grant this little wish of us to help someone.”

 “Nikolai doesn’t need help, mom. He needs to be in a mental hospital.” I stood up, iniwan ko silang pareho na nakaupo roon. The living room felt like it’s too tight to hold us three right now.

 Sinubukan akong habulin ni mommy but I was quick to reach my room upstairs hanggang sa napagsarhan ko pa siya ng pinto.

 My eyes teared. “I am not Nikolai’s pet.” I cried from inside the room then I heard my dad knocked. I am sure nasa tabi niya ngayon si mommy.

 “Phineas, hindi ka namin pinipilit ng mommy mo na magpunta roon. But you are raising voices like we are making you miserable, we don’t want you to feel like that. Now get out there and let’s talk.”

 I just cried. “Dad, I have a boyfriend and he’s at the party right now. The thing I should be doing is partying with him and guarding him at the same time. Bakit niyo ako pinauwi para lang sabihin na kailangan ako ni Nikolai.”

 “I know, Phineas alam namin iyan ng mommy mo that’s why we didn’t stop to call your phone dahil alam namin na uuwi ka rin. We simply did that to mind us right now, Phineas.”

 “I am not going to their house.” Sambit ko.

 “If that’s what you want then we are not going there.”

 “You sound like you are washing me with guilt.” I cried harder and I heard my dad and mom laughing from the outside so I opened the door for them. Niyakap nila akong pareho nang pagbuksan ko sila.

 “No, sweetheart. Mahal ka namin just like how we love Alessia. Tandaan mo ‘yan, that’s already an enough reason you shouldn’t think we want you to feel bad about what happened.”

 Tumango ako. “I want to take a bath.”

 They kissed me on my forehead. “Go wash yourself now. Matutulog na rin kami ng daddy mo.”

 Nakatalikod na silang pareho mula sa akin nang tawagin ko sila ulit. “I realized that I am too hard of it, siguro dahil hindi ko pa masyadong matanggap na wala na ang kapatid ko. Siguro sa lahat ng nandito ako pa lamang talaga ang hindi pa nakakamove-on sa pagkawala niya.”

 Dad smiled. “Your older sister’s in heaven now, son. Kung tinitingnan ka man niya ngayon then sure she is proud of you.”

 “Damn, I love the two of you so much.” Tumalon ako mula sa kama at hinabol sila sa pintuan. I hugged them, chained my hands around them like it’s all that I needed that time.

 I stood there with my head on my hands. How can I be so damn grumpy about it? I stripped all my clothes off, leaving me in my cold and thin briefs.

 I opened the closet on my side then grab the towel. It took me five minutes to wash just my hair then I turned the shower on. This always relaxes me, warm showers feel like warm hugs. I was standing there, the bath tub’s filled with water I forgot to unblock the drainer.

 I rubbed my skin with the american soap na binigay ni Dustin sa akin. He told me to use this one everytime I wash myself, he wants me to smell as lavender as always.

 Pumanhik ako paalis sa bath tub at winalis gamit ang aking mga daliri ang aking buhok.

 “Phineas!” I heard mom called from downstairs but chose to ignore it. Baka may nakalimutan lang siyang sabihin, sure it can wait until morning.

 I was about to face the mirror when my phone rang. I bit my lower lip and chewed my inner cheeks as I am still wet then picked my phone up.

 “Hey?” I answered then lowered the phone eyeing to the display, it was Dustin.

 “Gosh, I miss you. Brin told me you went home.” I can hear his voice raspy, maybe because of the alcohol.

 “He is right, umuwi ako.”

 “You should have told me.”

 “Well, I saw you enjoying the party so I don’t want to disturb you. And by any chance is Brin still there? I want to talk to him.”

 Dustin sighed. “I am jealous, what would you want to tell him?”

 “For him to drive you home, asshole.” I said. “I don’t want you driving tonight, you sound drunk.”

 “I am not.” He grew silent then the background music began to disappear, guess he went out. “I called because I already miss you, your scent and your voice.”

 “I don’t care. Now I am going to change clothes so goodbye.”

 “Are you naked?”

 “Yes and I am enjoying it.”

 “That’s not fair!” He wailed from the other line. “See? You should have brought me with you.”

 “I am going to sleep now, Dustin. Make sure that Brin is there to guard you back to your house because I don’t want to worry about you.”

 “You make me want to kiss you right now. I want to grab you on bed, do you know that?”

 “Of course I know that, the lacrosse team captain wants to do me right now.” We both burst out laughing. Dustin’s voice is always playful, sweet at the same time but he’s an asshole. And I am in love with an asshole. “Don’t drink too much, I don’t want to deal with hangovers tomorrow. And one thing, I miss you too.”

 “Buti naman nasabi mo rin. You always caged those words from me, Phineas.” He was smiling and I can see it through his voice. “I love you, and please pinch your nipples for me.”

 “Jerk.” I said.

 “Slut.” He answered.

 “Your slut.” My teeth caught my bottom lip.

 “Yes, you are mine, Phineas. Argh!”

 I tapped the red dialing button then turn the phone off. After that I know he would call again and I don’t want to hear his voice again tonight, I guess it’s enough already and we can save it for the next day.

 I went downstairs after changing into pairs of pajamas. My throat seemed to be so dry that I wanted to drink the coldest of water in the fridge right now.

 “Phineas?” Mom called from the living room.

 “Yeah?”

 “Come here, please?”

 Nilagpasan ko ang kusina hoping that this time mom’s going to tell me something pleasant in the ears. Then my heart pulsated with the sight of him.

  -

 I scratched the back of my head. I even swallowed multiple times before I sat down. Mom gave me her looks, signing me to just cooperate. Ganoon din si daddy na nasa tabi lamang at nakatayo.

 I breathed heavily as I resten my hand on my knees. My gaze went up to him and our sights met, then he smiled.

 “Why is he here?” I interviewed my parents. “Akala ko ba pwede na akong matulog ng mahimbing?”

 “Son, please listen.” Dad tried to calm me down as I am beginning to shout again. “We are helping him, Phineas. And you can also help him.”

 “What do you mean?”

 “You always ask the same thing, sweetheart. You are smart enough we don’t need to explain it to you again.” Mom said. “Nikolai’s here with his nurse, kumatok sila kaya pinagbuksan namin ng daddy mo. Hindi namin inasahan na sila pala and we don’t want to call you down here kaya lang ay bumaba ka at narinig ka niya.”

 “Now the blame’s on me.”

 “No, sweetheart.” Hinawakan ni mommy ang braso ko, marahan niya iyong pinisil.

 “I am happy to see you, Alessia.” I was ready to combust upon hearing his voice.

 “You see it mom? When he looks at me, everytime his eye follows on me the only person he’s been seeing is Alessia. And I am not Alessia. I hate to say this but Nikolai needs a rehab so you should take him there.” My eyes once again, watered. The tears I am trying to hide just easily escaped but it would not fall.

 “Alessia why are you mad at me?” Nikolai asked, the hint of smile on his lips was satisfying but sadly I am not his Alessia. “Please don’t be mad at me, we can get through this right, Alessia?”

 “Mom, please take him away from here. I don’t want to see him, I beg.”

 “Sweetheart,” My mom stood up, itinayo niya rin ako at giniyak palayo papunta sa kusina. “I understand your pain. We all are dealing with the loss, sweetheart. I know this is much for you but it is for us too. Ganoon din kay Nikolai.”

 “Siya lang ba ang nawalan? How about me? I have tried to move on, mom just with myself alone. Nakaya ko naman and why can’t Nikolai do the same thing?”

 “Phineas, nasa tabi mo kami habang bumabangon ka noon sa nangyari. We were beside you all the time. You were never alone because we are there for you always.”

 “But Nikolai’s always bringing the pain that I am trying to avoid. Mom, kapatid ko ang nawala sa akin at hindi lang isang manika.”

 Mom sighed. “Tama ka, Phineas. Your sister was not a doll. Nikolai’s situation doesn’t tell you to think about that, gusto niya lamang ng tulong mula sa’yo, Phineas. He needs you, to be there by his side hanggang sa malampasan niya rin ang nalampasan mo.”

 She opened her arms and I went much nearer to her. Niyakap niya ako, making me understand that someone needs my help and it would be the best of choice to help.

 “I always reminded him of Alessia while he reminds me of the pain, mom. We should blame him.”

 “No, not sweetheart.” Mom shook her head. “Kung siya man sana talaga ang rason kung bakit iyon nangyari, then he wouldn’t be here right now.”

 I stepped back slunging my one arm around my mom’s waist. My heart throbs as I am trying my best to just give a plain smile, while wiping the tears on my cheeks.

 “Sinubukan namin ang metronome sakanya kanina just to make him sleep, but just like last night hindi rin iyon nakakatulong.” His nurse stated nang makabalik kami ni mommy sa sofa. “He keeps on uttering your name, sinasambit niya ang pangalan ni Alessia then follows your name, Phineas.” Tumingin siya sa akin.

 “Hanggang kailan siya rito?” I asked. Lumabas si daddy, this time he needs to comfort Nikolai’s parents as well.

 “Hanggang bukas lang kung maaari. This is not the proper medication or process that we need to do pero para lang sa ikalalagay niya, para makatulog siya ngayong gabi we’re asking for your consideration.”

 Tumango ako. Ano pa nga ba? “I understand. I hope he’ll get over it soon.” Apela ko. “He’d be sharing the same room with me again, right?”

 “Yes, seems that’s how it works.” The nurse answered. “He has his clothes here in case gusto niyang magpalit ng damit. Kailangan na siguro namin umalis.”

 “We will take care of him.” Mom said because she can’t thank me just yet. I sometimes hate it that my parents are too comfortable of having Nikolai here, like they really are unintentionally selling me to this guy!

 “Why are you silent now?” I asked him, trying not to sound rude but the spirit of hate just won’t hide. Gusto ko siyang suntukin.

 “Sweetheart, be nice to him.”

 I forced a smile. Hindi rin naman ako ganoon kasamang tao para patayin si Nikolai and I insured that to mom. I just can’t kill him yet, but really I got no plans of doing so.

 He followed me upstairs. Bago niya ako sinundan sa hagdan ay kinausap muna siya ni mommy but I wasn’t interested kung ano ang pinag-usapan nila. Nikolai is not absurd or erratic and I know he can speak for himself, iyon siguro ang rason kung bakit hindi ako madala-dala sa kaartehan niya.

 If he can’t get over with my sister then he should be dealing with it all alone. It has been two fucking years!

 I dropped the bag containing his clothes on the floor. Pabagsak kong isinara ang pinto pagkapasok niya. Napalingon siya sa ginawa ko.

 “Nagulat ka ba?”

 “I am okay.” He smiled, settling down at the single edge of my bed. “I dreamt of us last night that’s why I am here.”

 “You and Alessia?” I asked, still uninterested.

 “Yes.” Tumango-tango siyang parang tanga. “And you, Phineas.”

 My eyes closed. Although I wanted to stare at him but I can’t. Hindi ko magawang tingnan si Nikolai ng maayos thinking that he’s the reason why my sister became miserable over their relationship.

 “Nikolai.”

 “Yes?” He said, para siyang bata na manghang-mangha kasi tinawag ko ang pangalan niya. I swallowed for my own saliva as this scenario always gives me chills and this sometimes creeps my insides.

 My parents are literally locking me in my bedroom with Nikolai, and that appears to be fucking alright with them!

 “Sa labas ka matutulog ‘di ba? Doon ka sa living sala or kahit sa lumang kwarto ka nalang ni Alessia matulog. Okay lang naman sa’yo, right?” I tried to convinced him.

 Nikolai couldn’t help but to just give me his stupid looks, gawking intently at me like lending my jars of guilt.

 “Fine!” I exclaimed like I was just protesting against myself.

 “Can’t I just sleep here?”

 “Malamang.”

“Are you mad?” He asked, sa totoo lang para siyang istatuwa. Hindi siya gumagalaw.

 “Ayos lang ba kayong dalawa?” Sumilip si daddy sa pinto ngunit tuluyan din naman itong binuksan ni mommy. Nikolai just smiled to them.

 “You know I am gay right?” I sarcastically asked them.

 “Yes why?”

 “Dustin will be scolding me about this tomorrow.”

 “He won’t, because you are not telling him.”

 “What does—‘you are not telling him’, means?”

 “You know what it means, son.” Dad wiggled his brows.

 “Really, dad? Mom? Seriously? You think this is some sort of critically made jokes? I still have a boyfriend and you are telling me to just hide this night from him?”

 “Your choice, sweetheart. It’s your lovelife, anyway.”

  I do not know if Nikolai’s listening or if he has his interest on listening. Iniabot ni mommy sa kamay ko ang gamot na kailangang inumin ni Nikolai.

 “Make him drink this, sweetheart. Huwag mo lang ipilit sakanya, and don’t try to be mad about this. Remember, we are helping him.”

 “Mom, nasa katinuan naman si Nikolai.”

 “Phineas, alam ko. Sa tingin mo ba wala kaming pakielam sa’yo?” Mom asked.

 “Yes. Oo, iyon ang tingin ko sa inyo ni dad. Mistula niyo akong ginagawang doctor sa lagay na ‘to.”

 “You are his anchor, sweetheart. Aside from his family.” She said it becoming serious as she is I don’t want to listen to it. Then she smiled and looked to Nikolai, then again to me. “Just help Nikolai get through this too.”

 I nodded as I signed them to get their asses out already.

 “You’d be drinking your meds.” I concluded as I take the glass of water from my study table.

 “No.” He protested.

 “Nikolai you need to drink this.” He laid down spreading his arms, teka nagri-ritual ba siya?

 “I am not drinking anything. Those medicines cause me sleepiness.” Aniya. “They always give me the same tablet everyday, like I am sick. But I am not, Phineas. I am not sick.”

 I groaned. Kung bakit ba kasi umalis ang nurse niya at ako pa ang kailangan na magpainom nito sakanya ngayon? Anything about this is never my obligation in the first place, now I had to deal with a guy who acts like the world doesn’t cooperate with his life.

 Then I reminded myself that I shouldn’t stress him. I breathed in and out once again trying to convince myself that Nikolai is here because of me. Right, he needs me so I need to be patient with him.

 “Sa labas na ako matutulog.” Sambit ko at bigla naman siyang napatayo. “You can sleep here, the bed’s all yours. I am not using the old bedroom so I am taking the living room.”

 “Then I am taking the living room too.”

 “Sa banyo ako matutulog.”

 “You can’t sleep on bathrooms.” He corrected me.

 “You said you wanted to go here and you are already here, Nikolai. You said you wanted to sleep here and I am taking you here in my bedroom. For the past two years and I am always letting you inside this place, I am letting you invade my personal space. Nikolai, don’t make me struggle about this simplest thing.”

 “What are you tring to say?” He asked. I ended on a facepalming.

 “Nothing.” I answered. Umupo ako sa sahig, taking the single resting pillow on my side. Niyakap ko iyon at nakatingin lamang ako sakanya. I straightened my legs and smiled. “Ganito rin ba kayo dati?”

 “Hmm?” He hummed.

 “Were you like this before, Nikolai? Were you miserable before Alessia died? Were you hassling people just like what you are doing to us now?” I asked him, questions after questions. I wanted to serve it back to him, all the pain that I have felt that how much I’ve tried to conceal the longingness that I’ve been suffering from, there’s always this gaping hole inside my chest. “I want to punch you right now. Paanong mas naapektuhan ka pa sa nangyari, paanong ikaw pa ang nagmumukhang mas nasasaktan dahil wala na siya?” I turned my head to the side checking if the lock is secured, baka kasi pumasok na naman sina mommy at malaman pa nilang ginaganito ko na naman si Nikolai.

 Once, they caught me interrogating him, I was crying while I can’t supress my shouts na kinailangan pa nilang marahas na buksan ang pinto para lang makapasok kasi buwesit na buwesit na ako noon kay Nikolai. Like I was ready to just cut his neck while asking him questions.

 Unlike before he won’t respond to anything. Kahit anong sabihin at itanong ng kahit na sino sakanya ay ayaw niyang magrespond, like the whole dosage of trauma was poured to him.

 Does this mean, he loved Alessia so much that he forgotten that he’s still alive? That Alessia’s gone but he is not?

 “You look like so much of her.” He started then chuckled. “Nothing could diminish the memory of her that I’ve tried to look after her even if I know that she’s gone. Then I saw you and I thought you were her. You had the same nose, pareho kayong malalim ang mga mata and your lips are both gorgeous. Your sister had no freckles but you have. Like me, did someone before ever mistaken you of her?”

 Nagkatitigan kami. Like what we always do. This setup has been running two years, kung hindi man ako ang pupunta sa bahay niya ay magugulat na lamang ako na nandoon na siya sa living room ng bahay namin.

Then I’d ask him questions and answer me with questions as well.

 Pinagmasdan ko siyang tumayo paalis sa kama at inilagay sa palad niya ang tabletas na sinubukan kong ipainom sakanya kanina. Nilagok niya iyon kasabay ng tubig mula sa baso.

 “Done.” He amazingly smiled at me putting the glass down.

 He took the blanket off my bed. He sat on the remaining spot on my right side and slowly, he rested his head over my legs. I sniffed. Alessia used to tuck me in bed this way, with this position because she knows I can’t fully sleep myself at night without her.

 I am seventeen and this guy is twenty-three. And I can’t stop staring at his face, until I decided to fall asleep.

 -

 I only saw Nikolai when I woke up. Both of us are still lying on the carpeted floors sharing the same blanket over us. But I was just lying there, I was above Nikolai and I can almost hear his heart beating normally. Kumurap ang mga mata ko, trying to distingush if this is ever real. His hard chest is moving up and down and I feel like a burden to be on him.

 “Nikolai, wake up.” I whispered, attempting not to disturb him from the sleep but still we need a proper place to rest and it’s on the bed. “Nikolai, I said wake up!”

 He stirred, then I watched him open his eyes which still are lethargic from his discontinued snooze. “Why?” He groaned.

 “You need to get to the bed, I don’t want to trouble you but you’ll get colds kung mananatili tayo dito sa sahig.” I reasoned, then he saw me simpered.

 Dahan dahan siyang tumayo, I clasped the blanket away from him and took it to the bed. Pinagmasdan ko siyang gumalaw, magkamot ng ulo at magmistulang batang naistorbo sa mahimbing niyang pagkakatulog.

 “It is only two in the morning.” He stated, gawking at the digital clock over the nightstand. “Naistorbo ba kita sa tulog mo?”

 “No, no. Naisip ko lang na baka namanhid ka na sa posisyon mo doon sa sahig. You were on the same position at hindi ka gumagalaw.”

 “Hmmm.” Umikot siya. “I can’t sleep anymore.”

 “What do you mean?” Inayos ko ang unan sa gilid ko. “You need longer sleeps, Nikolai so your brain can rest. Now go here, lay down and close your eyes.”

 “You are like my therapist.” Nikolai commented. Each time he would utter a word, it is either in the tone of this unknown sweetness, like I just can’t fully recognize how should I feel about his voice. “I seemed to bother you kahit sa pagtulog mo.”

 “Of course not, you didn’t.” As much as it is needed, I need to be in full patience watching him. Obligasyon kong alagaan ang lalaking nasa loob ng kuwarto ko dahil kung hindi ay baka pumarito na naman siya sa susunod na gabi. And I don’t know if I can still hide that from Dustin, I mean I can’t create another lie from him, he will know about this anyway.

 “How about you?” He averted his gaze back to me. “Won’t you continue sleeping? You are a student; you need more longer sleeps than me.”

 “I am aware of that, but in a state like this with you, you are the one needing such. I mean more ‘such’ ssleeps.”

 Nikolai smiled. I don’t intend to persuade him or anything but I feel like I am more of a burden if I continued rushing it inside my brain that he’s a stubborn sometimes, like me.

 “I need water.” Aniya. Napatango na lamang ako kasabay ng malakas na buntong hininga. Ginulo niya ang buhok ko pagkatapos ay tumitig ng ilang sandali bago ko siya sinundan palabas ng pinto.

 “Sinong normal na nilalang ang umiinom ng tubig sa kalagitnaan ng madaling araw?” I asked him sarcastically.

 “Well your voice woke me.” He retorted.

 “Para naman ansama ko pa kasi nag-aalala ako para sa sarili ko at ginising kita para lumipat sa mas maayos na higaan.” I reviewed it to him and I heard him chuckle.

 “Where’s the water?” Nikolai inquired as we reached the last step.

 “In the fridge.” I replied. “Make it two glasses, one for me.”

 Tahimik ang buong kabahayan and I am partly aware of the two people sleeping upstairs, like dad snores a lot and I sometimes wonder how mom can get a good sleep from it.

 “Nakakatulog pa kaya si mommy?” Maya maya ay simula ko. “Anlakas humilik ni daddy, we can even listen to it from here.”

 “Sometimes you tend to ask stupid questions like you really are unaware of the answer.” Aniya. “You know they love each other, and your dad snoring is never a problem. That is normal.”

 “You are lecturing me.”

 “No, I am not.” He laughed. “I’m just telling you things that two people in love do. And it is normal.”

 He stretched his hand, advancing me the single glass. “You drink first.”

 “E, ikaw?” Tanong ko.

 “After you.” He plastered a smile and wiggled his brows amusingly.

 Paonti onti ko iyong nilunok, emptying the whole glass in no dull seconds. “Go on, make it faster so you can sleep again.” Utos ko nang maibalik ko ang baso sakanya. “It is still two am, remember.”

 “Yeah.” Aniya.

 Ngumiti ako, thinking how can I hate this guy entering my private space if he’s this kind when he talks? My mental self is punching me at the back of my mind, as Nikolai’s oblivious that I am talking to myself the whole time I am behind him.

 Iniwan kong nakabukas ang pinto. “Nikolai?”

 “What?” He coughed suddenly but it was short. “Hmm?”

 “I miss her so much.”

 “Alessia, what are you saying?” He questioned, unwittingly.

 “I am not her, Nikolai.” I told him. “I am not Alessia, because she’s dead.”

 “You are saying things again, Alessia. Come up here now, your lack of sleep is getting you paranoid. It can cause you hallucinations, do you know that?”

 How can Nikolai say things like all are just normal from his perspectives? Siya iyon may pinagdadaanan pero mukhang mas marami pa siyang nasasabi sa akin na mas maayos. Iyon nga lang, half of what he’s saying is gone. The essence of Alessia in every statement has faded. Nikolai’s just uttering words from his memory, that is the only back up thing left on his mind.

 Half of the bed absorbed my body, slowly embracing me in a short slumber. “Lights out.” I said as I switched it off. The room stayed soundless and dark, until Nikolai turned to my side and hugged half of my body.

 Minute by minute, I can sense his breathings like I am interested to just listen to it. I started not to move, not wanting to disturb him.

 I wasn’t comfortable of us hugging, or of him hugging me so I pushed him to the opposite side where he should be situated on. “Bakit na naman?” Apela niya.

 “You can sleep without touching me.”

 “May be that’s why we are together in this bed, and why I am here. Alessia, I haven’t slept for days distant from you.”

 I sighed sharply. “I am not Alessia.” I reminded him. “Kung kailangan ko man ulit ulitin sa’yo, just so you can get over this situation then I’d do it, mukha kasing hindi naman nagagawa ng therapist mo ‘yun sa iyo.”

 “You are Alessia, I know.” Sambit niya. “You are Alessia so stop telling me you are not her.”

 “Fine, just let me get a normal sleep then.”

 Ako, oo ako yata ang nangangailangan ng matagalang tulog sa aming sa dalawa. “Now sleep, Nikolai.” I commanded. Then he became wordless the second over.

 I am left, awake and aware of the world. There may be no great radiance around but I can see the darkness invading the room. I keep judging the shattered rays of the lights from the outside, and then my eyes watered, discovering that I am dealing with this bed alone. I can’t feel Nikolai and even if I can catch a glimpse of his darkening shadow I figuratively felt the loneliness.

 I sniffed.

 “Bakit ka umiiyak?” He had noticed it. “Phineas?” Now he’s mouthing my name. “Phineas?” Tawag niya ulit dahil hindi ako sumasagot.

 He scooted over me stretching his hand at binuksan ang ilaw sa ibabaw ng side table. Then he captured the sight of my eyes as I drew snuffs.

 “Hey,” He called. “Hey, Phineas why are you tearing up?” Hinaplos niya ang noo ko.

 “I am not.” Mistula akong tanga na naluluha doon at hindi ko siya masagot ng maayos. “I am not crying too.” I lied.

 “Yes you seriously are, come here.” Umayos siya ng higa at marahan na hinila ako palapit sakanya. Inilagak niya ang katawan niya sa pahigang headrest ng aking kama at niyakap niya ako pahiga sakanya. Unknowingly, I noticed that I am above his body again. “You are crying.” Aniya ulit.

 “Hindi ako umiiyak.” Sambit ko ulit. “Ayos lang ako.”

“Says the kid who just teared his eyes seconds ago.” He smirked and I saw it on his face, but his smirk contained something. The soothing voice drawn out from his mouth cools me, in the ear down my spine and I shivered unaccordingly.

 “I said I didn’t cry.”

 “Then what was that? Your eyes just watered for nothing?”

 “May be. But I wasn’t crying.” I lied again. “And don’t mind it, I want to go to sleep but I couldn’t keep my eyes close.”

 He breathed in, a long breath like he’s reserving it. Then he breathed out. “My therapist used to teach me this…”

 “Teach you what?”

 “Relaxation therapy.” Nikolai said so I looked up to him. “Do it with me.”

 “How?”

 “Exhale completely, Phineas. Then you inhale for four seconds,” I didn’t expect him to teach me something awesome tonight, he’s instructing me while he’s doing what he’s saying. “Hold your breath for seven seconds and exhale.”

 “How long do I exhale last?” Tanong ko.

 “Eight, eight seconds.” I felt his fingers brushed my hair, I can feel his fingers running on my head while I am here eyeing him, feeling like I am in some perfect place right at this minute. “How is it?” He asked after.

 “Your therapist taught you something essential, mabuti naman.” I commented. “Thank you.”

 “Now can you fall asleep already? I don’t want you tired tomorrow. Or may be you do not want to go sleep anymore.”

 “Hindi naman sa gano’n.” Apela ko.

 “Put your one leg over mine, you’d be more comfortable.” Nikolai adjured me as his embrace became tightier, and I am quick to follow moving my one leg over his. “There’s more to that, Phineas.”

 “What is it?”

 “You can hug me, come on.”

 I don’t know if he’s commanding me of things to fool me but they seem to fit the position so I agreed to it. I soughed, observing my own hand crawls over Nikolai’s waist. Yeah, yeah, my skin’s sending regards to his hard stomach under his loosen shirt.

 “You can always hug me.” He again stated. “I won’t mind, Phineas. I seriously don’t mind if you run over me again and sleep over my body.”

 “Ano na naman pinagsasabi mo.”

 “Para ka kasing teddy bear.”

 “Yeah, teddy bear na walang kalaman laman.” Tawa ko bilang sagot at humalakhak din siya ng kaonti.

 “Your laughters can calm me.” Nikolai phrased. “I wish to hear it everytime, kapag nandito ako. Parati mo nalang kasi akong pinagagalitan, like I am someone retarted that’s annoying you.”

 “Yes, you are.”

 “Am I annoying you?”

 “Yes, always.”

 “Ohhh.” It might be silly to imagine, but while I am caged in his arms, it brought me some sensations that I also feel when I am with Dustin. It sends me comfort. He hugged me tightier and tightier until I turned to the other side. Then I exhaled completely, readying myself to fall asleep. “Do you want to eat something in the morning?” He whispered, leaning his head nearer to my ears.

 “Yeah.” I answered.

 “Do you want me to cook it for you?” My eyes are shut but my ears are both interested listening to his voice, I can even sense my own skin heating up with the contact of our skin.

 “Your nurse said not to stress you, so you are not cooking. Do you understand?” Ngisi ko, hindi naman sa gusto ko siyang ilayo sa mga bagay na pwede niyang gawin habang wala dito ang nurse niya but it is for the better.

 “You should tell them I do not need a nurse anymore.” He continued whispering. “I don’t need her looking after me, even the therapist. I hate that room.”

 “What room?”

 “The therapist’s room, where she asked me questions like I am crazy or stupid. I don’t need them, Phineas.”

 “Of course you need them, Nikolai.” My lips formed a curve. “Because you just can’t go here all the time, I have to go to school too.”

 “I just need you, Phineas,” He spoke softly, naramdaman ko ang paglapat ng labi niya sa batok ko making me open my eyes all of a sudden. “I need you and Alessia.”

 Tuluyan na siguro akong gising sa mga oras na iyon. Nikolai’s hugging me, minute after minute he’d be brushing my hair and seemed to be enjoying it.

 “Come here.” He pulled me more close to him as he placed his legs under the folding of my legs. He spooned me to sleep, and I didn’t know why I was smiling naughtily, sensing something hardens at my back.

 -

 I am not the first one to be awaken the next morning. When Nikolai whispered something to my ears I easily opened my eyes, and inwardly yawned as I turn around to him. Nikolai’s beaming close, his eyes are nailed right through me and he was only staring, nakapako ang tingin niya sa mukha ko na tila may duming nakadikit dito.

 “Tigilan mo ako.” I told him, touching my eyes.

 “You need to do some stretching.” Aniya. “May gusto ka bang kainin?” He asked.

 “Actually I am not fond of breakfasts. Mom always cooked for me every morning but I tend to refuse eating it when I’m on the table. Bakit hindi mo napansin ‘yun when most of the time you are here?” I huffed when I averted my gaze to him again, he’s silently producing silhouettes of amusement while I was talking.

 “Perhaps, I was not looking at you closely enough. I should be here longer if that’s the case, may be by then I can tell you to eat your morning meals.” He smiled, revealing his perfectly aligned white teeth. Oo, siya nga ang may magandang ngipin, I inwardly thought. “So get up, your mom’s calling us two kanina pa. And you ain’t ready yet.”

 Nauna siyang tumayo, hinila niya mula sa katawan ko ang comforter. “Hey, I said get up!” And I’m convinced to do it. “Faster.”

 “Phineas, gising na ba kayo?” I heard mom shouted.

 “Yes, mom! Pababa na si Nikolai diyan.” I replied then I looked to Nikolai. “Bumaba ka na, mabuting makita ka ni mommy para maipaghanda ka niya ng agahan. And your medicines, inumin mo ‘yun.”

 “Hihintayin kita.” He ended, scooting near the bedroom door then closed it. Mentally, I am interrogating myself. I slept with Nikolai again, it wasn’t my choice anyway. Nararamdaman ko lang that I am acting silly and immature of not thinking what will Dustin say kapag nalaman niya ang tungkol dito.

 But Dustin knows. Totally, may ideya siya sa sitwasyon ni Nikolai because I told him. Atsaka nakapunta na rin siya dito sa bahay kaya si daddy rin ang nakapagsabi sakanya, clarifying it to him that I am never contacting with Nikolai coquettishly.

 I stripped my pajamas off, dahan dahan na dumampi sa balat ko ang tubig mula sa shower. Same as how it should feel, I wanted it warm. When I went out of the bathroom, I finally decided to turn on my phone at dumiretso na sa kusina pagkatapos kong magbihis.

 “Nagising daw kayo pareho kaninang madaling araw?” Bungad ni mommy sa akin habang nakaharap siyang maigi sa inductor na pinaglulutoan niya, at hindi man lang niya ako tinapunan ng tingin dahil mas concerned pa siyang masisira ang imahe ng omelettes niya.

 “Good morning din, mom.” I greeted her satirically then I neared to dad, leaving a quick peck on his cheeks. “Good morning, dad.”

 “He doesn’t look like hot-headed today.” Sambit ni daddy kay Nikolai. “Maayos yata ang gising mo ngayong umaga.” Aniya naman sa akin.

It is partly correct. Seems like Nikolai’s not the only one to benefit sleeping in my bedroom, dahil naging maayos din ang tulog ko habang katabi ko siya.

 “Yeah, but I still hate it having him here.” I said, referring to Nikolai as he gazed up at me. “Say, you won’t be here again tonight. School night pa rin mamaya and I cannot be disturbed.”

 “Don’t you want me here, Phineas?”

 “You are asking me that, really?” I glanced to him again, nilapag man ni mommy sa harapan ko ang omelette ay tanging tikim lang ang nagawa ko roon. “Pinagbigyan lang kita kagabi, and I don’t have plans of spending more patience for you.”

 “Why, Alessia? Why do you hate me so much?” He then asked, nagkatinginan kami ni mommy at narinig ko naman na tumikhim si daddy. Wow, my parents are really making this up as awkward as it is for me. Parang ako pa talaga ngayon ang nasasakdal sa kung anong kasalanan.

 “Nikolai, repeating things to you is not my interest. You can’t accept the fact that Alessia’s gone but I can, so your choice must be for yourself. Kung ‘di mo siya magawang kalimutan mag-isa, then surely I am not the person to help you for that matter.” I guess, it’s just my time to explain it again to them, I mean I needed to speak for myself sometimes at mukhang nakakaligtaan kong gawin iyon paminsan minsan.

 I observed them, silence hugged the groups circling the counter. Tsaka hindi ako fan ng katahimikan kaya tumayo na ako. “I still have to catch up with Dustin so I am going.”

“You can’t bring your—”

 “It’s always my necessity to ride my car, dad. Dustin has his practice every other afternoon kaya hindi niya rin ako mahahatid minsan.”

 “Then I can come to your school and fetch you, son.” Dad suggested.

 “Love you too, dad.” I playfully smiled to him and went out. “Love you, mom.”

 “Wait, Phineas!” Rinig kong habol ni Nikolai. “Wait for me.” Bilin niya at bumalik sandali sa loob, nang lumabas siya’y suot na niya ang isang hoodie jacket na siguro ay bigay dati ni Alessia sakanya dati. Glad, he can still wear it, siguro dahil sa mga ganitong bagay siya rin minsan humuhugot ng lakas para magastos ang araw niya ng hindi naghahanap kay Alessia.

 “Will you drive for me?”

 “You guessed it right.” He smiled, opening the car door for me, sa passenger’s seat niya ako giniyak. Then I inwadly huffed when he took over with the steering wheel. This is still my car!

 I caught my parents watching us through the car, and I can see the grins on their faces. They really are playing with me, and I hate it.

 “Gustong gusto talaga siguro nila na magkasira kami ni Dustin dahil lang sa bagay na ‘to.” Nasambit ko pagkaandar ng sasakyan.

 We left the neighborhood. Masama akong tumingin kay Nikolai ngunit nabawasan rin naman agad ito when he cocked his head to my side, as if he really is innocent as how I can see it on his eyes.

 “Who’s Dustin?” He unknowingly asked.

 “Talaga? Hindi mo siya maalala?”

 “No, who is he?”

 “Of course Dustin is my boyfriend, and you know him.” I howled. “Dustin is my boyfriend, and may be he’s not the type to get jealous with things like this, ayoko naman siyang abusuhin.”

 “You are dating someone?” His expression went mad. “You are fucking dating someone!”

 “Yes, you don’t need to correct me, Nikolai!” I shouted at him, obviously not controlling myself again.

 “Alessia, I am your boyfriend! And you just can’t say you are dating someone other than me!”

 “Hindi nga kasi ako si Alessia, kailan mo ba mare-realize ‘yun? Alessia is dead and gone, and I hate it that you are the one to always remind me of it!” Care not to catch glimpse of the road, but my eyes burned whenever I look at Nikolai kaya tanging ang natatapunan ko nalang ng tingin ay ang tahimik at malungkot na kalsada. “I am not even sure why my parents let you drive, looks like you are not in your senses yet.”

 “Why are you suddenly mad?”

 “Itigil mo nga ang sasakyan, Nikolai!” Sigaw ko, hindi man halata pero may halong pagpupumilit ang boses kong iyon. “Stop the car, tatawagan ko si mommy at ipapasundo kita. Pupunta ako sa school ng mag-isa.”

 “Alessia, you are acting weird again.” He uttered softly, malumanay na pinedal niya ang gas at tinapakan din pagkatapos ang brakes. “You are always like this when we talk, saying weird things. And you refuse to talk to me next dahil iniisip mong wala akong pakielam sa’yo.”

 “Hindi mo na naman ininom ang gamot mo. I told you, Nikolai, the nurse also reminded you to continously drink it para sa ikalalagay ng utak mo.”

 “Why? Do I look like decelerated to you, do you think my mind’s slacking now? Iniisip mong baliw ako?”

 “Damn, Nikolai why you fighting with me. I am not even your girlfriend! And I am not Alessia!”

 He’s not acting clearheaded and the first option I can think of is to call mom. Kaya siya agad ang tinawagan ko nang mahimasmasan si Nikolai sa galit niya. Of what he had said, I am not annoyed but scared.

 He cursed one time, with his palms on his face.

 “Kaya nga hindi niyo na dapat siya pinalabas pa sa pinto kanina.” I tried to explain to dad dahil siya ang kausap ko nang iabot ni mommy sakanya ang telepono.

 “I’m right on the way, son. Just calm you both, huwag kayong magsigawan dahil hindi ‘yan makakatulong.”

 “You are right, dad!” I groaned. “Pati ako nagtakaka kung bakit kami nag-aaway, I mean I am not responsible to repeat stuffs for him nor remind him of what happened to Alessia, dad. Kung umakto siya—”

 “Calm down, Phineas. Ikaw din kasi minsan hindi mo kayang kontrolin ang sarili mo, and quit murmuring things about Nikolai, magpasalamat kang hindi siya nananakit.”

 “Just make is fast, dad.” I retorted.

 I pocketed my phone and breathed in. I combed hair through my fingers then prepped my elbows on the blurry side window. Tiningnan ko siya, bahagya akong nataranta nang mamataan ang luha sa mga mata niya.

 I slendered closer reaching for his nape and hugged him. The distance became thin between us, as I searched for this hand across the seatblelt.

 “Nikolai.” I spoke to his name. “Shhh.”

 He continued to sob soundlessly, and I slightly felt the pain inside me build up. I considered myself to be the biggest idiot, making this sinless guy weep over things I intended to say.

 “Don’t die, Alessia. Don’t leave me.” He talked under his voice. “Don’t leave me, alright? You won’t leave me, Alessia. You can’t leave me.” He repeated, and I noticed dad’s car approaching us.

 Dad was clever not to hit another string from Nikolai’s insights. Pasalamat nalang ako at hindi na niya ako pinagalitan, to push Nikolai away to the point that I said things na ‘di nakakatulong sa recovery niya. I watched them retreated back and I am left standing outside my car, pumasok na lamang ako realizing how obtusely I acted with Nikolai.

 “Hey, you alright?” Dustin respired up and down, pinagmasdan ko siyang tinutulungan ang sarili na magrelax. “The team’s not done with practice but we can talk, you are splashier than the game anyway.”

 “I know you are trying to make me smile.”

 “Am I getting good at it huh?” He laughed softly, leaning closer.

 “Well, you have a lot of tries to expend.” I commented. “Nikolai’s in the house, and I am telling you because I am not bitching this relationship off. I want to remain loyal to you, Dust.”

 “Hey, hey!” He cupped my cheeks. “I understand you, and your family. Nikolai has been a part of your lives since boyfriend siya dati ng kapatid mo. I am not taking that away from you, baby. Isa pa, ikaw ang nagsabi sa akin na pumupunta si Nikolai sa inyo dahil ikaw ang itinuturing niyang tali sa katinuan niya.”

 “Yeah, but—”

 “No, shhh.” His thumb was pressed against my lips. “I am happy to know that my cute little ass princess is all loyal to me, and I appreciate it.” Dustin smiled, always the sweetest. “And this might be silly to your ears, you don’t like hearing this but I love you, that’s why I trust you.”

 “It is wrong, Dust. I feel like I am cheating everytime Nikolai is around.”

 “Don’t mind it, baby. Masyado ka na naman nag-iisip, alam mong ayokong napaparanoid ka minsan.” Hinigit niya ako palapit sakanya, securing me from his grips habang nakaupo lamang kaming dalawa roon sa study shed.

 “Dapat kasi nagpapalit ka rin ng damit kapag basang basa ka na sa pawis. You smell like—”

 “Smell like what?” He beamed devilishly.

 “Like scents of grass and sex, Dust.” I answered, then we burst out laughing. With Dustin being the captain of the lacrosse team, kaya malaya siyang manuod lamang sa teammates niyang nagp-practice sa field.

 “I know you like it when I smell like this, Phin.” Aniya sa likod ng tenga ko, still his arms are around me. “Kaya hindi ako agad nagpupunas kasi alam kong gustong gusto mo ang amoy ko.”

 “You are gross!” I exclaimed. “I am not obsessed with your scents, Dust.”

 “Say, you are not but you act so defensive and guilty of it,” He laughed and touched a kiss over my head. “Basta si Nikolai, huwag mo siyang inaalala masyado. Someday, he will realize that you are mine already and he can’t take you away because you are my rope to saneness as well.”

 I may have not seen his eyes while he chanted those words, but I know I am in love with Dustin.

 -

 I don’t know if mom is overwhelmed that she knows how to text or so ever, because she doesn’t stop sending me messages. You shouldn’t have done that to Nikolai, was the first I got from her. Hindi ko naman inakalang may kasunod pa but then I decided to just turn its power off as a remedy for my patience. I’ve had enough of Nikolai already.

 “Pumasok ka na.” Biglang kuwit ni Brin sa tagiliran ko. “You are five minutes late already.”

 “It’s an afternoon class.” I said. “The insctructor is late every single time so…” I reasoned.

 “That’s why go now. Dustin must be in that subject too.” Brin winked at me, and I am glad that he is Dustin’s bestfriend, he supports us and he doesn’t have a say about our relationship. “I saw you two talking an hour ago, mukhang namiss mo siya agad kaya ka nandoon sa practice nila kanina.”

 “That is my responsible, to support him of his games. You know that.” I wailed silently.

 “And I saw you two crashing each of your lips.”

 “That is called kissing, Brin.”

 “Yeah, yeah, I know of course.” He sounded funny. “Can you just please enter the class, already?”

 “Why is this a matter to you anyway, wala ka naman sigurong pakielam hindi ba kung pumasok man ako o hindi?” I wasn’t expecting to see Brin today, lalo na sa hallway kaharap ng locker ko. “And I am exactly doing there right now, kung hindi mo lang ako ginulat at sinubukang kausapin.”

 He laughed gently. “Sige na nga, pakisabi na lang kay Dustin na may practice ulit sila mamaya.”

 “They are tiring themselves.”

 “That’s why you need to warn him also, sweet cheeks. Team captain ang boyfriend mo, siya ang palaging pagod na pagod tuwing may practice sila.”

 “Hmm?” I hummed.

 “Just tell my bestfriend to take a rest.” He pasted a smile on his lips. “I’m just saying this because like you, I care for Dustin too and I bet he would listen to you with all his ascertainments.”

 “Nakikinig din naman siya sa’yo, Brin.” I don’t want to steal the bestfriend role from him since that is personally his part, ayoko lamang maisip niya na masyado kong naaagaw si Dustin sa kanya. Because it’s bros before hoes, and at this matter ako ‘yung hoe na tinutukoy ko na namamagitan sa kanila. “I’m sensitive enough, Brin, I can sense your sympathy for Dustin and I am not taking that away from you, kasi kilala kita.”

 “Yeah, I know. Ganoon din naman ako sa iyo.” Sagot niya.

 “You are his bestfriend, evenly decided that we both care for him kaya gusto kong tayong dalawa ang nagtutulungan para na rin sa lalaking importante sa buhay natin.” I plained a smile, seeing a hint of fortuitousness on his face.

 I signed him to just go anyway, he has his class too and I have mine. I turned again to see him, and surprisingly we both laughed nang magkatinginan ulit kami.

 “Layas na!” I shouted, we both are shaking our heads.

 It’s a bright day, the sun is up and I could sense the spirit of nature creeps in that hallway. When I entered the class, I saw him sitting in front. There were no expressions on his face, only the face that he makes when he is definitely bored.

 While imagining things that I could possibly do together with him, he suddenly turn around and the sights of our eyes met.

 And then I knew it, Dustin is not bored. He is actually waiting for me to sit beside him. His eyes are covered with shadows of silence but I have the idea that he was shouting for my name.

 “I’m trying not to think about you, but it is not working.” I heard him groaned seductively as I scooted near him, his voice pleaded as I then sat next to his seat.

 “May be you are thinking too much.” I replied.

 “No.” He unknowingly shook his head. “I saw you naked, just now.”

 I startled a bit, gawking at the expression that he makes. “Where?” I questioned him.

 “I am imagining you, you on all fours, baby.” He confessed.

 “You.” I pointed a finger to him, then I grinned while examining the whole quarter seeing people busy with everything they could hardly notice us. Then I glanced back at him. “You are an asshole, but I could kiss your right now, Dust.”

 “I love it when you are flirting with me.” Dustin chuckled sexily when he commented.

 “Well, it is the only thing I could do best.” I smiled, shock that he just smacked his lips to mine.

 “Yeah.” Dustin sighed when we parted. “And it looks like you are winning.” He said as he leaned closer to kiss me again.

 “Aren’t you tired?” I then interrogated him. Gusto ko siyang pagsabihan but I want it to sound as soft as I want it for him to hear. “May practice na naman daw kayo mamaya.”

 “I am, actually. I want to sleep right now.”

 “Bakit hindi ka umuwi?” I asked him. “Sabi sa akin ni Brin, na huwag ka raw masyadong nagpapagod since you are the team captain. Higit kang kailangan ng team mo kaysa sa kailangan mo sila, Dust.”

 “I know, baby.”

 “Stop calling me, baby. Like before alam kong babalewalain mo na naman ‘tong payo namin dalawa ni Brin sa’yo.” Apela ko. “Hindi lang kasi ‘yung teammates mo ang nangangailangan sa’yo. Pati si Brin tsaka ako, kailangan ka namin.”

 “Phineas, nakakagalaw pa naman ako, kita mo ‘di ba?” Patawa niyang itinaas sa ere ang dalawa niyang kamay.

 “Palagi mo nalang ginagawang katatawanan lahat ng payo ko.”

 “No, never.” Umiling siya. “I don’t like it when you think that way, you are precious for me and every words that your lips are bidding, I always hear it playing inside my head, Phineas. You worry too much. I can still move, you see. I can even carry you to bed right now.”

 I huffed. How could this guy simply pull off those words as fine as him, kahit ganoon ay hindi pa rin naman siya nakaligtas kasi inakay ko siya palabas papunta sa sasakyan ko.

 “And where are you bringing me right now?” He interviewed as we both passed the hallways reaching the parking space in no time.

 “I want you to go home, I will tell your coach to excuse you later.”

 “I can’t!” He wailed. “I can’t just leave my team, baby.”

 “Well you can, because I am the one to say it.”

 “Damn,” Dustin cursed under his breathe ngunit narinig ko pa rin ito.

 “What damn?” I said angrily. Then I laughed. “Huwag mong isipin na pinapipili kita.”

 “Magpapahinga ako kung sasamahan mo ako.”

“Of course I am driving you home, ako mismo ngayon ang maghahatid sa iyo so I can make sure.” I turned to face my car and he followed me. “Sakay na, maidlip ka sa sasakyan. Even the weather doesn’t cooperate, sa itim ng ulap parang sinesenyasan ka niya na huwag nang maglaro kahit kailan.”

 “You sound like not wanting to see me play.” He pouted, naupo siya sa gilid ko and I occupied the driver’s seat.

 Tsaka ko siya tinitigan. “Dustin, you know that I support you. Just this lacrosse game is way too hard, para mo lang binu-boluntaryo ang sarili mo na magpabugbog.”

 “I can’t hear the support anymore.” He covered his face, sa ganitong estado rin nahihirapan si Brin na kumbinsihin itong kaibigan niya.

 “Of couse yes! I am supporting you to anything, you can always see me on the benches right? Kasi gusto kong makita mo na proud akong nasa field ang crush ko. Now if that doesn’t appear to be an evidence of my moral and physical support for you then I don’t know what is.”

 He waved his palms off his face. “Who’s your crush huh, answer me. Who is it?”

 “Well I am just stupidly crushing over this guy who’s stubborn enough not to listen to whatever I am telling him. He’s not just stubborn but an asshole as well, but guess what?” I looked away, rolling my eyes but he can’t see it. “I am in love with that asshole.”

 The silence rooted between us two. Then I felt his finger crawled up to my shoulders and gently squeezed me there, and then I felt his strong grip pulling me.

“I love you, too.” Dustin said. “It may sound awful and dirty to you, but I love you, really! And I want you to know too that I am in love with this crazy little ass, slut that will drive me home right now.” He stated as he laced his fingers with mine then kissed it.

 Dahan dahan kong pinaandar ang kotse, leaving the high school invisibly. Some may have noticed us left but they won’t much care.

 “Rest here with me.” Imbita niya nang maibaba ko sa sahig ng kuwarto niya ang bag ko.

 Who am I to refuse? Dustin is my boyfriend.

 Tinabihan ko siya sa malambot na kama na tila yata kahit anong segundo ngayon ay mababaon na ako sa kutson. I looked at him, my teeth caught my bottom lip.

 Habang nakabaon sa unan ang mukha niya ay pasimple naman akong nakatitig sa kanya. I am examining the shape of his face, the corners giving shape to it pababa sa nang-iimbita niyang mga labi.

 “See? It’s visible that you really need to be out for times from the game.” Simula ko.

 He groaned. “Suko na ako sa’yo, sige na talo na.”

 I laughed. Makailang ulit na akong nakapasok sa silid niyang ito but the hidden promises inside here are still floating like we both bidded it yesterday.

 I am just happy that both of our parents accepted us. And I am much lucky that have Dustin, since he’d been my crush simula pa sa ninth grade.

 “The fridge is full, baka may gusto kang kainin. Kuha ka lang doon, a.” Aniya sa akin kaya alam ko na hindi pa siya tulog.

 “Dust?”

 “Hmm?” He chirred.

 “You need to clean this room, parang konti nalang mag-aamoy pabrika ng chlorox na ang kuwartong ‘to.”

 “It’s not my fault that I couldn’t stop thinking about you, expecially on the nights.” He chuckled, his one arm fell to my side then grabbed me by the wait. “I am lucky that I have the sexiest boyfriend ever.”

 I hugged him back. Then a thought of Nikolai suddenly popped out from nowhere. “Nikolai.”

 Umangat ang ulo niya at nagtatakang tumingin sa akin. “What’s with Nikolai again? Iniistorbo ka ba niya ng paulit ulit? You can tell me if your situation irritates you already, I can talk to your parents, Phineas.”

 “Nope, not that. Naalala ko lang kanina ang sinabi niya.”

 “What did he say?”

 “He wished Alessia to never leave him. Napansin mo ba? Dalawang taon na since nangyari ang aksidente, and even on my part, the memory still strikes a string inside me but somehow nakapagmove on naman ako kahit papaano. Why not Nikolai, bakit naiwan siyang lugmok at hinahanap hanap ang kapatid ko. And worst, he can see Alessia in me, he still thinks na buhay na buhay si Alessia kasi nakikita niya ako.”

 “If that scares you, you can tell me at ako ang magsasabi sakanya na lumayo na siya ng kaonti. Sabi mo kasa-kasama pa naman niya ang nurse niya ‘di ba?” Dustin embraced me, this time I can feel the hug, impenetrable.

 “Yes, the nurse is also coping this out kasi minsan ayaw din makinig ni Nikolai sa kanya. Naalala mo ‘yung ginagamit nila sa kanya dati para marelax siya at makatulog?”

 “The metronome.”

 “Yeah, it is not working on him anymore. Kinakailangan pa nilang bigyan siya ng injection o kung hindi ay tabletas na lamang pampakalma sakanya. And I am afraid that he’d overdose with the medicines, Dust.”

 “Shhh.” He hushed. “I’m certain that they know what they are doing. Besides pinag-aralan naman nila ‘yan. For Nikolai, I don’t know. Sometimes, I can feel like trusting him but not always.”

 “He’s not taking me, Dust.”

 “We don’t know; I might just wake up one day with you in his arms already. What if he can’t take it all already and just decided to take you away from me? Paano kung agawin ka niya sa akin?” He closed his eyes thoroughly, as I heard his voice laced with concern and worry.

 “Seriously, that will never happen.” Hinigit niya ako paitaas kaya’t nadikit ang mukha ko sa leeg niya. “Now we should avoid talking about him, huwag nalang natin siyang pag-usapan kapag magkasama tayo since the topic always brings us worries.”

 I played my fingers, brushing it through his hair. Hinigit niya ako paitaas at niyakap ako, somehow I felt a bit strange that I had this comfortable hug with Nikolai too. And unintentionally speaking, they seriously feel the same.

 -

 I drew from a soft breath while curling up comfortably to Dustin’s side, dahan dahan kong inaagaw ang comforter at tinabunan kaming pareho. He’s snoring softly like this sleep and rest are things he really needed. Everyday, I am always looking forward to see him, Dustin’s the coolest guy for me and I still don’t know what I did to deserve a guy like him. Maybe if it wasn’t fate then I can consider us coincendental.

 I am again distracted from the reality, all imagining of stuffs while watching him sleep. “Hey.” I whispered, maybe I was just trying to call him but not expecting a response.

 Dustin then stirred and tossed his body to face me. “Hmmm?” He groaned quietly. “I neglected the practice again.”

 “Yes, and that is obvious. You are tired, just sleep more.” I commanded him. “Nakatingin lang ako sa’yo, and even on the expressions of your face masasabi kong pagod na pagod ka.”

 “It’s only because of the party, Phineas.” Now he is answering already. “That girl threw a party in a school night, I mean who does that?”

 “Anyone can, especially it seems every student in this neighborhood can afford a rushed shindig!” I exclaim. “And you can’t blame the party, because we both are invited. Lahat naman kasi ng estudyante nandoon.”

 “I blame you.”

 “How did the issue ride down on me? Anong kinalaman ko sa’yo?”

 “For a single time I want to not reckon your image, but every single try I always flunk.” Inayos niya ang sarili sa paghiga at inalalayan akong itaas pa hanggang sa leeg comforter. “Ikaw ba?” Aniya.

 “Hmmm?”

 “Minsan ba sinusubukan mo rin akong huwag isipin, then end up failing because you are in love with me?”

 “Let’s stop talking about this, Dustin.” I suggested. “You know the answer already, about being in love with you I think at this state, that is always. Hindi naman sa mas cheesy ako sa’yo but maybe we are just in love.”

 “You are right, I am so in love with you.”

 “Tumigil ka.” I said then he chuckled softly kissing the back of my neck while slowly pulling me to brush my hair. “Matulog ka na nga kasi ulit, gigisingin kita kapag uuwi na ako o kapag nandiyan na ang mommy mo.”

 “Ang mommy natin.” He corrected, kissing me again. “Tatandaan mo yan, everything that’s mine is yours as well, Phineas.”

 “I don’t own you.” I told him, propping my hands underneath the pillows. “We only have this relationship, Dust, and each day we are trying to make it through without breaking up.”

 “Yes it is, Phineas.” He concurred. “But I wish this relationship won’t end, like I want you for eternity. I don’t even try to act possesive with you around dahil alam kong ayaw mo sa gano’n, at alam mo ba kung gaano kahirap ‘yun?”

 My eyes returned to him, umikot muli ako para matingnan ang mukha niya. “I am loyal to you, Dustin, quiet of an assurance na hindi mo na kailangang magpaka-head over heels sa akin.”

 “That is not the only thing we are discussing, little ass.” He joked as I felt his lips communicated with my skin once again. “I am aware that you are loyal to me, simula palang sa mga bagay na gusto mong pinag-uusapan natin ay alam kong mahalaga ako sa’yo. What I want is for you to feel owned, that I own this cute little slut already so he doesn’t need to be worrying about what I would think kapag may iba siyang kausap.”

 “Even Nikolai?” I asked.

 “I owned you, Phineas. Ako ang nauna sa iyo kaysa sakanya, so if this situation needs a battle between an alpha and a beta then surely I will make my hardest to take down his place. Gusto kong isipin mo na kahit nagseselos ako ay may tiwala pa rin ako sa’yo. At buong buo ang tiwalang iyon.” He stated.

 “You know the things that I commonly think inside this head, so everytime that I have the chance to tell you something gusto kong ginagasta ang tiyansang iyon para lang sa’yo. This is not about being loyal, Dustin, somehow this only means that I want you present and aware of what I am doing.”

 “Present?”

 I rolled my eyeballs. “Just think of it as my assurances.”

 “Our atmosphere here is growing colder and colder.” He commented. “It sure is, halika lapit ka pa.”

 “We are already pasted together, Dustin.” Apela ko. “Huwag kang maarte at matulog ka nalang ulit para mabawi mo na ang lakas mo. Me and Brin will be watching you on your next game.”

 “You are going?”

 “My boyfriend is playing, well then yes!” I howled comically. “I want them to know that the team captain is my boyfriend.”

 “Same, that I am not only dating the most precious slut but I am also his boyfriend in every turns of the clock. We are just both guys in love with each other.”

 “I love that line.”

 “I know and I love you, too.” He cupped my side cheek and leaned to touch his lips with mine, damn, I could stay resting here all day with only him on my sides. “We’ll win that game for you.”

 “I believe that you can, Dust, kaya huwag mong inaalala na may duda ako sa kakayahan mo. You can win every game, I know it and I believe you of doing it. I was there everytime, remember.”

 “Yeah, this time I think it needs more dedication. I think, I need a reward after that game.” He said as he scraped his lips to my earlobes. “And I am still imagining what that award could be.”

 “You are making me shiver.” I confessed. “I mean why can’t you stop being so handsome, Dust, kada oras na alam mong nakatingin ako sa’yo ay alam na alam mo kung anong gagawin mo para akitin ako.”

 “It is my job.”

 “Job, what?”

 “To entertain you.” Said, Dustin. “This might be silly, but I always get the boner everytime you looked at me with those pair of eyes.”

 I smiled. “Do you think I have another pair of this?”

 He amusingly pointed to my eyes, sluggishly rubbing every blinks I make. “Will it be a sin to lock us both, out from the world?”

 “You can’t do that.”

 “I can, baby. I surely can, especially now that I already have every image of you in my head. I may not be a painter but I can perfectly draw your shapes and colors at the back of my head.”

 “Quit it!” I laughed. “Now I am wondering how do I look like inside there.”

 “You are wearing a crown, Phineas.” Yes, again, he smiled. “And so am I, like we both are princes of our own world, only we also are naked.”

“Now you are flirting with me.” I stated. “Again.”

 “Well why not? I am your boyfriend, who else do you want flirting with you?” Depensa niya sa sarili, and it was so cute looking at him.

 “If every one can flirt as good as you, then…”

 “No, you don’t think of it that way.” Apela niyang muli.

 “But you are the best so, it will always be you.”

 I rose up, grabbing myself away from him once again. I then stood up giving him all the spaces of his bed. “Kailangan ko na sigurong umuwi?”

 “I can drive your car for you.” He suggested.

 “Then what? Kapag nahatid mo na ako ay ihahatid ulit kita rito, para na tayong tanga no’n.” Tawa ko sabay bato ko sakanya ng unan na malapit lamang sa akin.

 But it’s Dustin on the bed, and thinking that he is my boyfriend parang gusto ko nalang tumabi sa kanya habambuhay.

 “Oh come on.” He’s quicked to ran over the distance and chained me in his arms. “I know you that you like it, we are alone here.”

 “Your charms won’t work.” I teased.

 “Oh, you think this,” he paused lacing both of my wrist with his tightening grip then spreading it up my head, and then kissed me straightly on my lips. “You think a kiss wouldn’t work?”

 “Still no.”

 “How about we go somewhere lower?” His eyes sparked, though I know he is all acting pervert and stuff but I like this side of him. We all get every chance to play, play the norma things most couples do. “In the neck?” He said as he curved down to kiss me there.

 “Now stop!” I blurted out. “Dust, you should stop.”

 We stared to each other for may be a whole minuta before bursting into silent laughters. Because he knows this thing doesn’t work that way, I don’t only flirt with him sexually without acting to it at ganoon siya.

 Dustin then flatted his body on me, he’s still on top and I am trying my best not to freak out because he knows I like this thing so much. The though of him above always creeps cottons inside my head and every veins causing me to shiver abnormally.

 “Your chromosomes have combined seductively.” He uttered, dropping a kiss over my forehead. “And right now, I am having a boner again. How could you just cause me this so much?” Aniya sabay alis sa ibabaw ko at ako naman ang marahan na nanghaplos sa kanya.

 “I read that line somewhere too.” I said. “About the chromosomes.”

 “Sure you do, that was a pick-up line, baby.” He cackled in full solace. “Hope that one did work.”

“It sure did.” I replied. “Can I touch you here, Dust?” I questioned as I positioned a finger on his hardening abs.

 “Make it lower, baby. I want it lower.”

 “But I only like it here.” I answered as Dustin voluntarily pulled his shirt up so it’s free for my to massage his six packs. “You seriously are giving me goosebumps.”

 “I am, and I know that we’re only caging ourselves from doing this “flirting” crap the whole day.” Aniya. Kinuha niya ang kamay ko’t ginabayan ito paitaas sa dibdib niya, and sure as hell I suddenly burnt because of the contact.

 “Para kanino ba ‘tong mga abs mo?” Tanong ko habang nananatili pa rin ang kamay ko sa ibabaw ng katawan niya. “I read it from a women’s magazine that guys don’t grow these muscles for a one girl only.”

 “What does that mean?” He paused crossing my hands off a bit then he dropped it again over his six blocks of tiny muscles in his stomach.

 “It means guys don’t usually show their abs just to attract a girl’s attention. They actually want to show off so a lot of girls will notice them.”

 “So are you doubting me now?”

 “Well you said everything you own is considered mine.” I answered. “I just want you to know that I am not only after this, Dust. You may be hot and burning on all aspects, and I reckon you as the perfect boyfriend ever, but I still have my respects for you as well as for myself.”

 He plastered a smile again and I saw his jaw tightened, and I unknowingly just took my hand from him.

 “Ibaba mo ang damit mo kasi pabebe ako.” Tawa ko sakanya nang magkatitigan kami.

 “You are a damn good flirt, baby.” He reached for me, laced his palm at the back of my neck and pulled me. “I told you, doon lang ako magaling.”

 “Stop being so cute, it’s distracting.”

 I giggled. “And you Dust, you are very attractive. Therefore, I will stare at you until I am bored of your face.”

 Our lips touched again and again, teka araw ba ng halikan ngayyon? Titigilan ko na sana siya kung hindi lamang niya ako hinigit muli, ang kaninang sabi niya na lumalamig pa lalo ang paligid ay nagkatotoo. Lumamig nga, at nandoon lamang kami sa loob ng kuwartong iyon na tila sanay na sanay sa bawat isa and each of us only needs the hug from one to one.

 “I could do this everyday with you, Phineas. Just this is enough.”

 “Of course I know. I am irresistable.” I smirked and I think he saw it.

 “Gusto kitang samahan pauwi sa bahay niyo and if ever Nikolai is still there then I want to talk to him.”

 “Ano naman ang sasabihin mo sakanya bukod sa hindi niya maalalang wala na ang nakakatanda kong kapatid at isa pa na hindi ako ang Alessia na tinutukoy niya.” I asked. “Tell me anong sasabihin mo sakanya kapag nandoon siya?”

 “Us.”

 “Hmm.”

 “This time, gusto ko nang magselos, alright? Kahit man lang sa isang pagkakataon magkaroon ako ng tiyansang taasan ang boses ko sakanya para maipaglaban kita, Phineas. Kasi alam mo, alam ko naman na mahal mo ako at ganoon din ako sa’yo.”

 “You are the one who told me not to rush things, right?”

 “What’s the rush there, baby?” Apela niya.

 “Us. Alam na niya ang tungkol diyan, Dust, and he’s only covering the information with his glued memories. Kaya kahit ilang ulit natin ibalik sa pandinig niya ‘yan ay palagi lamang niyang pupunasan paalis ang sinasabi natin.” I explained it to him, clearing it out that he doesn’t have to worry about us.

 Dustin burried his face on my hairs, hugging me still the closest he can do. For the first time I obtained the idea of just letting everything to happen, because apparently Nikolai will get over it someday and I know that if that day comes, Dustin’s still with me.

  -

 My eyes flew subtle everytime I catch a glance of him. Then next thing I know, I’m still falling for his cute asshole-ish face. I sat up straight, I patted the nearest pillow to me and told him my goodbye. It’s exactly six already and I think it’s the best time to go home thinking that possibly at th every moment ay wala na siya sa bahay.

 “What if he’s still there?” Dustin asked as he guided himself to get off the bed. He looked a bit worried but I can see how he’s been trying to hide, he really doesn’t want to annoy me, that’s for sure. “What if Nikolai doesn’t want to be away from you?”

 “Dustin.” I heaved for a deep sigh.

 “Yeah, just that it scares me knowing that you have him in your house. We don’t know anything he’s capable of anymore, Phineas. What if he gets to the point of scaring you too?” Now Dustin looked extremely worried already.

 I threw a quick glance on the door knob and decided to open my way out. Surely, Dustin’s just fast to catch me again. “Wait!”

 “Hmm?” I hummed under my voice. “We must not be worrying about him, Dust. Kung ano man ang nangyayari ngayon sakanya, let’s just hope that he will heal already.” I touched his side cheeks and sluggishly massaged his tightening jaw.

 “Losing Alessia must have been a lot of pain for him, but I can’t trade what’s mine over a memory of Alessia.” He possesively caressed my chin up so I can meet his sights. “Nikolai should try some morphine sometimes.” He suggested.

I stared to his eyes for a second then chuckled. “We both know we can’t that thing to him.”

 “I just want to make you laugh.” He confessed as he leaned in and guided his own tongue inside my mouth then took it back and kissed me with his adoring lips.

 “Well, you just succeeded.” I concluded. “Make sure to get enough sleep tonight, magkikita pa rin tayo bukas and I will be checking you. Kaya paparusahan kita kapag nakita kong puyat ka.”

 “How will yous punish me, Phineas?” He retorted. “I find you silly saying those kinds of stuff.”

 “I am not discussing that thing with you right now though.” I told him. “Think a pepperoni sausage will fit inside your mouth, no, three pepperoni sausage will do the job.”

 “Nah,” He made an awful expression. “I only want this one type of meat inside my mouth, you know what this meat is?” He questioned me, pasting a playful grin on his lips.

 I shook my head. “Of course I know.”

 “You should go already.”

 “Yeah.” I answered. I stood straight and reached for his face then placed a kiss on him. Even if I try a lot of times refusing to look at him in his eyes, I always find myself failing on that state may be because I can stay there and I know that he’s eyeing me too, just now, I am in the most comfortable place ever, but I don’t know for Dustin’s. Siya din kaya, nararamdaman niya ba ‘tong nararanasan ko tuwing magkasama kaming dalawa?

 Dustin’s a few steps ahead of me while I am following him, ihahatid niya ako papunta sa sasakyan ko. We are expecting his mom’s coming after minutes, and I love to stay and talk to her but I need to drive back home already.

 “I love you.” He shouted as I got in my car, and popped his head in to kiss me again.

 “Asshole.” I commented.

 “Say, you love this asshole.” He laughed softly. “Take care alright? You exactly know that I will call multiple times so don’t try turning your phone off anymore.”

 “Yeah I know, that’s the reason I am turning this off while driving home.” I smiled plainly at him and signed him to move. “I gotta go.”

 I beamed a smile, cocking my head to the side mirror and watched Dustin waved his hand. I drover the car fast enough that I reached our house not so long, it might be a couple of distance from the school to Dustin’s house but their neighborhood’s actually near from mine’s.

 I chewed my inner cheeks as I looked to our sidewalk in disbelief. Nikolai’s parents are here and so their car, that obviously means that their whole family is here. I sighed loudly on my sit and turned the steering wheel to park.

 “Phineas, mabuti at dumating ka na anak.” Bati ni mama sabay sapo sa likurang ulo ko. “Maupo ka muna at ipaghahanda kita ng pagkain.”

 “Where are they mom?” I asked lowering down my voice but I weren’t mad at all. “Nasa ang labas ang sasakyan ng parents ni Nikolai so I thought they are here as well.”

 “Nasa kuwarto mo sila anak, they brought two nurses too so they can assist Nikolai.” She said, I don’t like seeing mom desperate about explaining things to me, as much as I hate it seeing her cry ayoko rin na nararamdaman niyang siya ang nangangailangan na mag-adjust sa akin kasi anak lamang niya ako. Marahan niyang minsahe ang noo ko, sa parteng meron pang bakas ng sugat na dinaanan ko kasama si Alessia.

 “It’s not pleasant of me to say this pero parang ginagawa na nilang mental facility itong bahay natin. Bringing Nikolai here all the time, telling us that he needs our help,” Apela ko sakanya at naglakad patungo sa kusina habang sinasabayan niya ako. “Telling me that he needs my help, a help personally from me. It doesn’t bother me anymore, ang ayoko lang ay inaabala din nila kayo mom pati na si dad.”

 She tried shh-ed me but I looked away. “It is never a thing for us to help, Phineas. If this can help his parents including him then me and your dad are willing to help.”

 “Bakit mom? Bakit?” Tumalikod ako, hangga’t maaari ay hindi ko gustong nakikipagsagutan ako kay mommy, one thing because I’m not even in my legal age yet and I don’t think barking at your parents is right.

 “Dahil tinulungan din nila tayo noong mga panahon na ayaw makipag-usap sa atin ni Alessia. They welcomed Alessia in their house because she wants to see Nikolai everyday but he wasn’t always there. Kinonsidera din nila ang ate mo noon kahit pabalik balik siya sa bahay nila, and now that Nikolai is doing the same thing then who are we not to pay them back?” I can hear it rightly in both of my ears, like I really don’t want to understand it but I also needed to. “I know that this situation might not make sense for you, and for your boyfriend Dustin. Ang kailangan lang talaga natin ngayon ay ang umunawa.”

 “What if Nikolai is just acting this up?” I doubted him again.

 “How can you say that, sweetheart? Can’t you see it in him? He’s going miserable every single day, you might not notice the sadness in his face but hopefully, your heart is not that hard to not hear his pleading.” Niyakap muli ako ni mommy.

 “Sana nga maintindihan ko na ng buo, kasi habang nakikita ko si Nikolai, I can hear this murmuring sound in my ears like something wants to get out of its cage pero hindi ko alam kung ano ang bagay na ‘yun. I keep on thinking that I am missing something pero pakiramdam ko rin at the same ay wala naman.”

 “Maiintindihan mo rin, sweetheart.” She whispered gently and hugged me with her most comfortable nurturing of support.

 “Pupuntahan ko siya.” I suggested.

 “No, sit down and let me prepare—”

 Mom was cut in mid-sentence when we both heard Nikolai’s loud voice from upstairs. I ran fast as it delivered shock in my veins and I wanted to know what’s happening up there, especially that they are all in my room.

 “What is this?” I asked them all, napatingin sa akin ang mommy ni Nikolai habang pilit naman siyang pinakakalma ng daddy niya, hawak siya nito sa isang braso at sa kaliwa naman ang daddy ko. “Nikolai?” I called when I can’t see him as the two nurses are blocking my way to seeing his face.

 “Where’s Phineas?! I said where is he? I need him to be here, call him!” He shouted filling the whole room with melodies of his slaughtering shouts.

 I saw the two nurses moved away, ang isang nurse ay tinanggal ang karayom na nakatusok sa braso ni Nikolai kasama ng syringe na ginamit nila rito. Nikolai calmed down a bit, but I could surely hear him panting and racing with his breathes.

 “Son.” Dad called me, wala akong ideya kung anong klase ng hangin ang dumapo sa balat ko sanhi para manigas ako sa kinatatayuam ko. Because looking at Nikolai in his states of breaking down, I realized that I have been too mad at him, that I forgot appreciating the calling of his child spirit.

 “Nikolai, I am here.” I spoke to his name while straightenly gazing through him. “Nandito na ako.”

 He became silent, her mother scooted at my back at sinenyasan ko naman ang dalawang ama na sinusubukang awatin si Nikolai. “Pwede bang iwan niyo muna kami? I can handle him.”

 Tumango silang pareho, may be they are thinking that we shouldn’t make it harder for each other. They walked out, leaving the door ajar.

 “Where did you go? I told your dad that I wanted to go to your school so I can looked after you but he won’t let me. Tell me where have you been all this time kasi kanina pa ako naghahanap sa’yo?” I held his head in my one hand and our fingers laced with needs, I can feel the urge of his fingers to grip mine’s.

 Nakaupo siya habang niyayakap ko siya sa ulohan niya and slowly as I observed it, I noticed that he’s relaxing already. He’s no more catching his breathe and I saw a flicker of light reflection on his cheeks because of the tears. Was he crying while shouting for my name? For my appearance?

 “I went to Dustin’s house.” I said.

 “What were you doing there? It’s dangerous to be in many places, malamig sa labas hindi mo ba nararamdaman?” He asked me, now Nikolai’s holding me on my wrist.

 “Dustin is not a threat, Nikolai, he’s my boyfriend.” I told him directly.

 Then he looked up to me, pinagdikit niya ang magkapareho niyang paa. “Ohh come here, sit down.” He made me sit on his lap and I am a puppet to listen to him. “Phineas, you need to tell me of things, kung anong ginagawa mo at kung saan ka nagpu-pupunta so that I am aware, alright?”

 I simply nodded because I don’t want to complicate simple things for him. Pero mistulang siya naman ang nagpapaka-komplikado sa bagay bagay dito, for the sake of mom telling me to just understand this situation I’d probably just try, mabilis kasing uminit ang ulo ko at napapansin din iyon ni Dustin sa akin.

 “Are you hurt? May nararamdaman ka ba o may sugat ka ba, baka kung ano ang ginawa nila sa’yo? Tell me.” Malumanay niyang pagtatanong at paisa-isang dinadapuan ng tingin ang balat ko, checking every corner of my figure.

 “I’m all right, Nikolai. I think it’s you who need to calm down. Kailangan mong pagpahingahin ang utak mo, your body and your spirit. It’s the best way to recover, Nikolai.” I told him, ain’t that comfortable of the position. “May be I can bring you to a meditation session, magpapasama tayo kay Dustin kapag nagka-freetime kaming pareho.”

 “Where is Dustin now?”

 “Pinagpahinga ko siya, he’s a team captain remember.”

 “I didn’t know that.” Of course, kasi hindi ko pa naku-kuwento sa’yo, I told myself. “When I meet Dustin again sooner I want to tell him that you are not going with him anywhere, anymore all right? I need to keep you safe.” He said with full authority in his voice, just this one statement is different because he’s calm and at the same time I sensed the needy type of Nikolai.

 An increase to the mystery suddenly flickered at the back of my mind. Siguro masyado ko lang pinagdududahan si Nikolai that it made me too rational and shielded from understanding him and his logics including the logic of my parents.

 “Hindi masamang tao si Dustin, Nikolai. He’s my boyfriend and I can trust him.” I stated. “If there’s someone who inspires me smile everyday, Dustin is second in the list after my mom and dad.”

 “How about me? Don’t I make you smile, Phineas? Am I tiring you so much?”

 “No, not really. But may be for a while kailangan mo lang talagang magpakita sa therapist mo.” I motioned to him, feeling his stomach moved up and down while easily he’s just burying his nose in my neck again. “Nikolai, stop.” I commanded to him.

 “I don’t need any therapist, alright? All I need is you. Just you, Phineas.”

 His eyes closed, mabuti nalang at mabilis akong nakatayo para masalo ko ang katawan niya. The nurses came in and helped me put him in the bed. You might find an angel in his face but when I heard him talked in my ears, I can hear a beast.

 -

 I finally used Alessia’s old bedroom. When I got out from there, I hurriedly checked Nikolai in my bedroom. Last night I decided not to share my bed with him kaya pinili ko ang kuwarto ni Alessia. I popped my head in, seeing that he’s still asleep probably because it’s only five in the morning.

 “Morning, dad!” I silently greeted my father.

 “Good morning, son.” He replied. “Kamusta ang tulog mo sa kuwarto ng kapatid mo?”

 “Hmm.” I hummed. “It was perfect, I had the chance to close my eyes completely without ever having someone up on the bed with me. Walang istorbo.”

 “Sit down, iinom ka ba ng kape?” Tanong niya.

 I shook my head tsaka rin nagpakita si mommy habang tinatali ang buhok niya. She smiled at me kissed me on my side cheek softly. “I don’t drink coffee, dad.”

 “Water?” He offered again.

 “That one will do.” I told him. “Mom, dad?” I called to them both.

 I prepped my elbow up the counter and stared to them. “How long will Nikolai stay this way? Will he still recover?”

 “Of course, sweetheart.” Mom said. “He’s psychologically in pain, and I don’t know any terms about it. But I am sure he will heal faster with you on his sides, anak.”

 “Your mom is right, Phineas.” Dad agreed. “We all saw it last night, Nikolai was rattling his whole self out, doesn’t bother to listen to us, not even to his parents and the nurses. Until you entered the room and you spoke to his name, he learned to calm down with your voice, son.” I love how dad talks to me like that, he’s detailed and humble when saying things. I just hope sometimes I can agree to them more.

 “I hate the way it sounds, dad. Parang hindi tayo natatakot na magpatulog ng baliw dito sa bahay.” I said.

 “Phineas, your mouth!” Mom gave me a light slap on my hand. “Nikolai is not deranged or crazy, you understand?”

 “All right, all right I know. I just don’t like the way you two are saying it. Like me and Nikolai have this romantic pull towards each other. Naiisip ko tuloy that you hate Dustin for me.”

 Mom scooted closer and massaged the back of my head. “If that was the way it sounded then you are wrong. Your dad’s just basically saying that you are Nikolai’s hope, sweetheart. You are his rope to saneness.”

 “He’s searching for saneness, so he’s insane.” I directed to them.

 “We don’t know how to explain it to you deeper, son.” Dad then concluded as I heard footsteps from upstairs, making the three of us there stare into each other awkwardly.

 “I’ll go check on him.” I told them and they both nodded signing me to be gentle on Nikolai again. Of course I am gentle to him, just sometimes I can’t contain myself and I burst infront of him, and I am glad I am overcoming that stage kasi unti unti ko naman nare-realize na pwede akong makatulong. I will help, only on the things that I know I can handle, I told to myself.

 “Nikolai?” I called, lowering down my voice as I was still hoping na baka tulog pa rin siya. But he wasn’t. Gising na gising na ito habang nakatitig sa bintana.

 Nikolai turned his body to look at me, his fingers below his chin while his one arm crossed to his upper waist. “Oh, Phineas.” He breathed out, saying my name huskily like some dusts are trapped inside his voice.

 “Did you sleep, well?” I interviewed him entering the room completely. “Hindi kita tinabihan kagabi because I saw how comfortable you are alone in the bed. Sa kabilang kuwarto ako nagpahinga kagabi.”

 Damn, why am I now explaining to him? He didn’t even ask at all! I inwardly groaned as I guided myself near the curtains.

 “I’ll open the curtains. You need sunlight so your skin will glow.” I said. “Mom used to do this before, everytime na ginigising niya ako. I guess it will work to you as well, baka kasi tulad ko mamutla rin ang balat mo for locking youself inside rooms of your favors. Ayos lang ba?” I cocked my head to him.

 He stayed there standing while straightenly gawking to me. “It’s all right, Phineas.” He said, then he nodded. “Mag-isa ka lang ba natulog kagabi?”

 “Yes, I stayed in Alessias’s old bedroom.” I told him.

 “I thought you would be waking up better in my arms, Phineas. I really don’t mind occupying this whole room with you.” He suggested.

 “I thought so, Nikolai but I guess we won’t be sharing a room for now and the next time na dito ka ulit magpapahinga sa bahay. I’ll be using Alessia’s bedroom so you can rest here in my room. In that way, may be you can rest more.”

 “Why do you say that?”

 “Say what?” I asked. “I’m just telling you that may be I am disturbing you from your body rest, lalo na kapag magkatabi tayo sa kama kasi alam kong minsan napakalikot ko sa higaan.”

 “That’s not it.” He shook his head. “Why do you think that you bother me that much? I am completely all right with you around here, Phineas. Do you think this is not the reason why I am here?”

 “What’s that reason, then?”

 “To be with you.” He answered, and I seriously felt my joints shivered and my nerves rattled. “I always come here because I am searching for you. Your presence and your face.”

 “You’ve got to find some other stuffs to look into, Nikolai.” I said. “Other stuffs so you can divert your attentions, away from me. I don’t want to go running inside your head, baka makasama lang sa’yo ‘yun.”

 Nikolai chased my fingers which are gripping on the curtains, tightly. His scents still stucked in my nostrils like it wouldn’t leave and just stayed there wanting to rent a place for much a longer of time. “What if I told you that thinking about you what makes me calm and focus? Do you have any objections to that?”

 “No.” I answered feeling my stomach curled up, I wanted to throw myself out thinking how much I am embarrass while he’s staring at my face.

 “Phineas.” Tawag niya, hearing me still silent from the last answer I have said. His voice pulled me back from thoughts so I looked at him in the eyes.

 “Bakit?”

 “Don’t be scared with me. I won’t hurt you, all right?” He carressed both of my cheeks and as soon as I felt the heat in his hands, I directly waved myself off from him.

 “Don’t do things like this, Nikolai. I am only supposed to help you remember that you are still alive and you need to continue living without Alessia.” I explained to him. “If you think that I am her, then all right that would be fine for me. But please help yourself as well to remember that I have a boyfriend and I want to stay loyal to him all the time.”

 “Dustin? You are talking about Dustin again?” Nikolai raised his arms both up in the air. Then faceplamed when he noticed that I was just staring straightly at him. “Why do we need to always talk about your goddamn boyfriend when we only have the two of us here?”

 “Oh now you are acting mad.” I commented.

 “No I am not, but I hate you for always bringing up the topic of that guy in my face.” He said.

“Ironically, you don’t hate me for bringing up Alessia’s name but Dustin’s?” The folds over my brows met, as I thought it was. “I only wanted to remind you that I am taken by someone.”

 “You are reminding me all the time, Phineas!” I can hear his voice rising and I thought this conversation is not going anywhere that well. I can see the determination in his face, kung paano niya sinusubukan na huwag akong masigawan. “Everytime that I talk about things to you, you always bring up names on the table kahit ako at ikaw lang naman ang pinag-uusapan natin.”

 “Sadly, we are not dealing about you and me, Nikolai. We all are dealing about you, kung paano ka namin matutulungan habang nandito ka sa bahay ng parents ko.”

 “So you are saying that you don’t exactly like me here?” Tumalikod siya sa akin at pasimple kong niyakap ang sarili ko. “You don’t like seeing me in this house kaya mo ako nilalayuan, you even used another bedroom para lang huwag matabi sa akin. Phineas, bakit ka ba lumalayo sa akin?”

 I don’t get the idea of him talking anymore, so I scooted near the bedroom’s door and took myself out. Nikolai’s bring questions after questions, at iniiwasan niya ang mga bagay na gusto kong klaruhin sakanya, that is obvious dahil iyon ang naririnig at nakikita ko.

 “Phineas!” He madly shouted for my name, enough that I am the only one to hear it but I am not sure the people downstairs heared his noise.

 “What?!” I wailed when I entered back.

 “Talk to me.” He commanded. “Don’t turn your back just because you don’t want to answer me.”

 “Nikolai, napa-praning ka na! Kung ano man ang totoong gusto mong mangyari o makuha ay wala akong ideya, ang alam ko lang ay tinutunulungan ka namin lahat dito.”

 “Then why do you always act mad and hard to me?” Aniya. “I hate it that the one that I trust the most, hates me more like I am some sort of devils wearing clothes.”

 Yes, Nikolai is becoming his own kind of devil. Whatever that may be running inside his head, lahat kami ay walang alam tungkol doon. Either he’d directly tell us about it or he’d want to hide it from us all the time.

 Naupo siya sa kama. “I hate it! I hate it so much!”

 “Bumaba na tayo.” Sambit ko.

 “Bababa ako kapag gusto kong bumaba.” Aniya.

 “All right, hindi kita pipilitin.” Sagot ko. “Ayoko lang maisip ng mga magulang ko na pinahihirapan kita. I don’t want them to worry, them both Nikolai care about you too hindi lang ang mismong mga magulang mo kasali rin ang mga magulang ko. Naiintindihan mo ba ang pinagsasabi ko?”

 I crossed my arms with him raising his head, as he’s still sucking on his single thumb. Nikolai then became silent, I waited for him to talk but then minutes passed so I sat beside him.

 “Gusto mo na bang maghilamos?” I subtly asked him, trying to calm my voice so I won’t disturb his growing inner peace now.

 Tumango siya at tumingin sa akin. Nikolai smiled, then I gave the smile back to him. I guided him to the labatory, habang sinusundan ko naman siya.

 “Turn the faucet on, magsabon ka rin sa mukha mo.” Dahan dahan kong tinatanggal sa maliit na sampayan ang ginagamit kong tuwalya sa mukha. Habang siya naman ay malumanay lamang din na sumusunod sa sinasabi ko.

 “Can I use this?” He asked, pointing at my dentistry’s set specifically to my toothrush. Gosh, how can I feel so awkward with him asking to borrow my stuffs.

 “Wouldn’t it be gross, that’s my toothbrush.”

 “We’re both guys, Phineas.” He said. “I don’t care if you have a bad breath so long as I get to see you everyday.”

 “Hoy, pahamak ka wala kaya akong bad breath!” Pagtatanggol ko sa sarili ko, sinusubukan ko rin na huwag matawa dahil mukhang iyon talaga ang sadya niya.

 “I didn’t say that!” He chuckled putting toothpaste on the brush. “I just said that even if you have a bad breath, you’d still be smelling lavender and sweets. And milks.” He beamed a smile on his lips and that seriously is the thing I can remember the whole morning.

 “Do I smell like milks to you?” I asked him then he averted his gaze to me, and I get to see him answer from his refelections in the mirror.

He bobbled his head up and down and then winked at me. Yet, by that time I still can’t forget how he looked cute with that face until we both went downstairs and gathered in the kitchen counter.

 Nikolai was smiling while my parents are interrogatim him about his sleeps. I am only listening to them, guess it would be good for Nikolai if he remains talking and talking, iyon din kasi ang naiisip ko minsan. Baka kailangan niya lang ng kausap, though I think I am a bad conversationalist.

 “Phineas just gave you a little space last night.” Smiled, mom.

 “Yes, and I don’t want that little space for tonight, not anymore.” Nikolai replied as my parents stared at me. “If Phineas wants the other room then I will use it too. I don’t want to stay in a room alone, not without Phineas.”

 Shivers crawled down my nerves, picking me in each of my finger tips. I don’t know how many times I blinked just to hide my watering eyes from them, only this time it is not watering because I wanted to cry but I wanted to touch Nikolai’s face and I don’t want my parents to see it.

 -

 Mom personally prepared a breakfast meal for Nikolai, and I only watched him eat the meal while I was sitting beside him in the counter. Later then, mom entered their room again and when she went out, nakabihis na siya’t mukhang may maaga silang pupuntahan ni daddy.

 “We will first leave you two, here.” Mom said.

 “Saan kayo pupunta?” I asked them, Nikolai doesn’t mind at all dahil patuloy lamang ito sa pag-ubos ng pagkain sa plato niya.

 “Your dad’s coming with me to the grocery store, gusto niyo rin bang sumama?” Tanong niya pabalik.

 I shook my head. “Nikolai needs some rest. I mean kapag sumama kami baka mapagod lang siya. I want to go with since I need to buy some stuffs for my room, but you need me with Nikolai.”

 “All right.” She looked at me, hesistantly giving me those curious sights in her eyes. “We gotta go para mabilis din kaming makabalik ng daddy mo, be sure to give Nikolai his medicines, those are important.”

 Tumango ako, sabay lapag naman ni Nikolai ng kubyertos niya sa ibabaw ng maliit na tela. Mom scooted out the door as dad was patiently waiting for her in the car that time. Ako naman, tiningnan ko lang si Nikolai. He was interestingly staring at the sink, kaya naisip ko kung ano rin ang iniisip niya.

 I don’t want to annoy him, I confessed to myself.

 “I’ll take this.” I had taken the plate. “If ever you have something you want to ask, or eat you can tell me para maihanda ko para sa’yo.”

 “Get ready.” He answered.

 “Hmm?” I averted my gaze back at him to meet his eyes. “Why should get ready?”

 “Nah, forget it.” He chuckled under his breathe, and it’s bad because I want to hear it the second time.

 “Go on, drink your medicines.” I commanded him, signing Nikolai the med-container on his side. “Kusa ko nang inilagay ‘yan sa tabi mo para hindi ka na umakyat pa ulit sa kuwarto. Mom also told me that your parents are going here today para bisitahin ka.”

 “How do you remember a lot of things?” He asked, inabot niya ang container ng tabletas na kailangan niyang inumin. The point is he doesn’t look like he’s going to drink it. I sighed.

 “What do you mean?”

 Nikolai let out of soft breath and then rubbed his temples. Siguro ‘yun ang ginagawa niya kapag ayaw niyang inuulit ang nauna niya nang nasabi. Ang bingi ko rin kasi minsan. “You are smart, I can say.”

 “I am not.” I directly told him. “Nikolai, you are giving me the wrong compliments.”

 “Are you sure?” He interrogated me.

 “Kung ang ibig mong sabihin sa ‘smart’ na sinasabi mo ay madaling maka-alala, then alright pero hindi naman smart ang tawag sa ganoon. But in the aspect of knowledge, hindi mo ako maaasahan.” I explained to Nikolai.

 “Maybe you are saying that you aren’t smart at all, but I can sense it in you. You sometimes even sometimes intimidate me.”

 I grinned. “Do I?”

 “So much. Sometimes, I want to talk to you but I always take a step back because I might just disturb your atmosphere. Remember that one time I tried getting near you but you suddenly pushed me away, like you hate all my guts and shadows?”

 “Why are you suddenly saying this? Hindi naman ako nakakatakot, and if you are saying that you can see the smart spirit in me baka nagkakamali ka lang at ibang espirito ang nakita mo.” Apela ko sakanya, I just don’t want him to have the wrong assumption for me.

 “Sinasabi ko lang kasi baka naaalala mo pa.” Aniya. “Phineas, I know you are in love with Dustin as how you can say it, kahit sa galaw at tono ng pananalita mo kapag pinag-uusapan siya I know that you are more than interested to him. But,”

 “But, what?”

 “I hope it soon would fade.”

 “It’s rude wishing somebody’s relationship to break, Nikolai. Iniisip mo bang hihiwalayan ko si Dustin o kailangan namin maghiwalay dahil sa’yo, kasi hindi namin gagawin ‘yun for your sake, not even me.”

 “I only want you for good, Dustin will only hurt you I know.” I don’t know how sure he was while saying those words because I can see a glint of light at his peripherals habang kinakausap niya ako. “And I don’t want you crying over him when the time comes, kaya gusto kong lumayo ka na sakanya.”

 “What the hell, Nikolai?” I wailed. “First you are asking for favor, that is staying in our house kasi nira-rason mo na hindi ka nakakatulog sa sarili mong kuwarto mag-isa. And second and also the worst thing you’ve asked ever, gusto mo akong dumistansya sa sarili kong boyfriend?”

 “It is still your choice though, but remember that I’d be here for you kapag kinailangan mo rin ako.” He told me, taking the tablets from the container tsaka niya iyon nilagok kasabay ng tubig sa basong inihanda ko para sakanya. Nang matapos siya ay nilapitan niya ako, putting the glass over the wet sink. “I just hope it wouldn’t happen, because I hate seeing you cry.” He whispered, but I can fully hear his voice especially it’s only a pinch away from my ears.

 I know he stayed a minute longer behind me, yet I ignored him. Gagawin ko ang mga bagay na kailangan kong gawin nang hindi nakadepende sa kalagayan niya, even if that means washing the plates with him staring at my back.

 Sluggishly, I ran my hands on the dry towel. I heard his footsteps in the living room, only, he is not there to sit down but to gawk and observe every photo lined on top of the ca drawers.

 I want to tell him that I am sorry, I felt like having thunderstorms inside my brain and a hurricane inside my stomach because I was thinking we are in a fight just minutes while we’re both in the kitchen.

 “Those are old photos.” I started, dahil walang magsisimulang magsalita sa aming dalawa kundi ako. “Alessia loves to take us everywhere telling us to have a photo together para may remembrance daw, sinasabi niya iyon parati kina mom and dad.”

 “This last one here,” Itinuro niya ang isang imahe na napapagitnaan ng dalawa pang frames. “You two made this photo more woth capturing.”

 “She’s the only one smiling there though, I actually hate it when someone’s taking pictures of me, I hate cameras for short.” I scooted near him, steadily his scents are starting to invade my nose. “Pakiramdam ko ang sama kong kapatid sakanya kasi pinagbibigyan ko lang siya, if I knew that she wants to have a lot of this para mas marami siyang alaala na maiwan sa amin then sure I should have given her loads of images.”

 “Don’t say that, we both know na hindi natin kagustuhan ang pagkawala niya.” Nikolai stepped closer, lending me his one hand so I can embrace him but I didn’t kaya siya mismo ang lumapit sa akin. “Isara mo ang mga mata mo, don’t let me see you cry over the things that already had passed.”

 “Napakabait niyang ate sa akin.” I told him, still I can only see the darkness dahil nasa talukap ng mga mata ko ang hinlalaki ni Nikolai. “She even encourage me to just come out to our parents dahil kapag nangyaring hindi okay kina mommy ay siya mismo ang susuporta sa akin. I was lucky though because they love me so much, that I got three instantly.”

 “Sino bang hindi makakatanggap sa’yo?” I heard him say, like he was threaded to the words. And soon I can feel the heat coming from his skin, it is starting to sew some invisble threads inside me, like I was searching for comfort and healing for my inward wounds and Nikolai is lending me healness freely. I cannot accept it, anyway.

 “Puwede ko na bang buksan ang mga mata ko kasi mukha akong tanga na nakapikit rito.”

 “Hindi ka naman mukhang tanga sa paningin ko.” He chuckled softly, guiding his own fingers away so I can blink already. “So it happens that you and Alessia are close to each other.” Nikolai hypothesized.

 “Well, we are siblings.” I answered.

 “You are more a twins to me.” Nikolai groaned, gusto ko man siyang suntukin ng mahina kaso pinipigilan ko nalang ang sarili ko.

 “Sinabi ko nang walang kambal sa pamilya namin.” Natawa ako sakanya. “Tsaka huwag mo nang ulit-ulitin ang pagbanggit kay na mukha kaming kambal kasi baka dalawin pa niya ako’t ikakamatay ko rin ‘yun.” I laughed expecting him to react the way I expected him to, but his expression remained blanked for minutes.

 “I am sorry.” I saw the curve on his lips, bend down. And I felt so much sorry as I, may be the reason why he’s suddenly frowned up. “I am sorry that we all lost her.” Nikolai continued.

“Dad always say this to me— walang may kasalanan sa nangyari. It happened that Alessia’s emotions had eaten her, it suffocated him until she felt the pressure inside her wanting to burst out kaya hindi niya napigilan ang magmeltdown kahit kasama niya ako. Kung meron man sanang puwedeng makatulong sakanya sa mga oras na iyon, ako ‘yun.”

 “No.”

 “Yes, I was on her side seeing her tears flooded in her eyes. I know that I should have told her to stop the car so we can talk properly pero tahimik lang ako sa mga oras na iyon.”

 “Kasi natatakot ka kay Alessia.” Ani Nikolai, one more time he noticed it again. I was sacred of Alessia because she might kill us both that time, natameme ako’t hindi makapagsalita kasi ayaw ko pang mamatay. Puro sarili ko lang ang naisip ko sa mga oras na ‘yun.

 “Yes. I was stupidly scared at her, for no reason at all.” Sinabi ko sakanya.

 Tumalikod na ako mula roon, tinahak ko ang sofa di kalayuan sa akin at doon ako naupo. “And I guess it’s too much about this already, I know Alessia’s happy for me. For us.”

 “Soon, she’d be the happiest.” Tumingala siya sa kisame tsaka niya ibinaba sa akin ang makahulugang tingin niya.

 “Wala akong ideya sa mga sinasabi mo.” Sambit ko. “So you can identify me as Phineas already? That’s an improvement, dapat ipaalam ko ito sa therapist at sa mga magulang mo.”

 “I don’t think they needed to know, they will only consider this as another case. Hindi nila sasabihin na nag-iimprove ako, perhaps because it’s only another impulse in me triggering, and it only triggers when I see you.” He plained his lips then slapped both of his palms together.

 I beamed a smile. “It’s not an impulse for me, I consider this as reaction.”

 I chewed my inner cheek as I secretly stared at his face. I always feel like making another mistake everytime I glance at him, and glance a bit longer. Naupo siya sa kabilang sofa, this time his sitting there like he’s gonna lay down any minute.

 “Inaantok ka ba?” Tanong ko.

 “Hindi naman, bakit mo natanong?”

 “Your eyes are fluttering down, baka ibang gamot ang naimom mo.” Sambit ko.

 “I am actually staring at you, secretly. Ayoko lang mapansin mo na tinititigan kita.”

 “Tigilan mo nga ako.”

 “Totoo nga, nakakatuwa ka kasing tingnan. I feel like having Alessia here while I am also having you as a company, pakiramdam ko nandito sa sandaling ito ang dalawang tao na kinakailangan ko.”

 “Remember that you need yourself more than you needed us, Nikolai.” I again told him, soon baka maitanim na niya sa utak ang linyang ito para hindi na niya makalimutan.

“I hope so, just that everytime I think I am alright all I can think is your presence. Your image, you refelction and your scents and shape. Soon, it only points at me that I need you more than I needed myself, Phineas.”

 “That’s why they tell you, I am your anchor.”

 “Not just an anchor, Phineas. You are just you when I need you, that’s it. They are always giving you the wrong terms.”

 “Gumagaling ka na yata siguro. Mabuti iyon.” I concluded. “I know that it will be easier for you, Nikolai.”

 “Parang pinaaalis mo na talaga ako rito.” Aniya.

 “Hindi naman.” Sagot ko. “Gusto ko lang ipaalala sa’yo na maganda rin ang buhay sa labas ng bahay na ‘to.”

 “You are right. Life is much nicer if I take you out with me.”

 “I said you should stop, Nikolai.” This time I laughed, infront of him and I cannot hide it anymore. Nikolai’s giving me the chance to somehow just laugh my ass off kahit hindi ko siya naiintindihan minsan.

 We both grew silent, kinatitigan namin ang isa’t isa. Nikolai’s fidgetting his fingers while I was watching him, it’s just fun watching him, even more of a fun when he put those finger under his chin.

 “Soon, I’d be the one telling you stop, Phineas.”

 “What do you mean?” Was only one thing I could ask to him.

 Everytime that Nikolai says something and I cannot catch up with the meaning of it, not even a connotation, I feel like it’s only growing bigger… he affection that I get whenever he’s around, the ecstatic growth of electricity inside me when I know he’s staring at me, ganoon kasi ang nararamdaman ko at hindi ko alam kung bakit.

 May be Nikolai is right… I am the one who needs to stop.

 To stop thinking about him. Gosh.

 -

 “Well, you should go change your clothes now.” I forced a smile when I looked up to his eyes. He smiled too, genuine enough that it breaks me knowing that Alessia’s not here anymore to appreciate Nikolai’s smiles.

 I drove myself near to where he was standing and caress his one cheek. Trying hard not to blush in front of him, my palm dropped down on his stubbles.

 “Looks like someone needs to shave already.” I told to him.

 Nikolai’s hands snaked through my waist and pulled me from there. “I’ll do that. Once we’re done with your own grocery shopping.”

 I let him done himself upstairs, the only thing I can leave him unguided is him stripping his clothes off, he possibly needs no help doing that on his own.

 I heard my parent’s car arrived, iniligpit ko ang mga damit patungo sa laundry room. I better not check on Nikolai yet dahil sa pagkakataong ito alam kong hindi pa siya tapos sa pagpapalit. Better with times like this na hayaan ko muna siya, coping with little things by himself and doing stuffs by himself, alone.

 Inilatag ko sa malinis na laundry basket ang mga damit ko, kasama roon ang iilang damit ni Nikolai, which I think na ako na rin ang mag-aabalang maglinis niyo pagkauwi ko mamaya.

 Rinig mula sa itaas ang tawanan ng mga magulang ko, partly I was convinced that they’re happy and somehow I feel like I need to feel happy too, unless not when I’m sad and thinking of things. Sa paraan naman ng pag-iisip ko, parang nakakailang na isipin na ako lang din naman ang nagbibigay pressure sa sarili ko rin, and I’m only making the people around me deal with my complicatedness.

 Gusto ko silang salubungin kaya’t nagmamadali akong tumakbo patungo sa hallway pababa. Then I paused. The door to my room a bit welcoming, ajar and silent. Nikolai’s the only one I know that’s inside.

 I tiptoed, leaning myself gently against the wall. Dahan dahan akong sumilip at nakitang naghuhubad doon ang lalaking hindi ko alam kung ano ang idinudulot sa akin.

 I cleared my throat in silence. I even let out a soft curse at the back of my mind. My own breathing is the only activity that’s loud that time.

 I poked my eyes inside, looking intently on his back. He stripped his shirt off first, and I wasn’t prepared to see what’s next so I hid myself and ran downstairs, wondering since when did I become a stranger in my own house?

 “Glad that you are back already.” I greeted them.

 “Your father helped me.” Mom said. Dad smiled and I neared to them. “Where’s Nikolai?”

 Shit. I want to tell her that it’s not Nikolai that I left upstairs but a god-like creature I don’t really recognize. “He’s upstairs. Isasama ko siya ngayon.”

 “Take care of him, all right?” Dad asked.

 “Yes, Dad.” I responded.

 Bumaba si Nikolai, suot ang damit na inihanda ko kanina para sakaniya. Then he wandered around the living room and searched for my keys which I did eventually drop there, minutes ago when I still wasn’t peeking through my own room to watch him strip.

 “You better go now. Looks like it’s going to rain.” Dad told us. Nahanap na rin ni Nikolai ang susi ng sasakyan ko.

 “Drive safely, Phineas.” Mom wailed from the kitchen.

 “I will.” I shouted back.

 Nikolai held me on my wais, inalalayan niya ako sa paglabas hanggang sa ihatid niya rin ako sa driver’s seat. I secretly laughed at how ironic our situations then I watched him send himself inside too.

 He didn’t utter a word until we’re passed the neighborhood.

 “Can I drive later?” Natanong niya. “Baka mapagod ka mamaya. Promise I wouldn’t do anything stupid.”

 “You can.” Where did that come from?

 “Thanks.” He whispered, dust off his shirt and smiled looking at the road ahead us.

 “This is not grocery shopping.” Pansin niya.

 “We are buying for ourselves, Nikolai.” Sagot ko. “I ran out of shampoo.”

 “I’m going to get it for you.” He walked leaving me behind at hinayaan ko na lamang siya dahil tantsa kong hindi ko rin naman maaabot ang bote ng shampoo dahil sa bandang itaas iyon nakalagay.

 He came back with it. Nilagay niya iyon sa shopping basket na noon ay hawak ko. I guess I’ll be doing this everytime with Nikolai since again I though, that maybe we’ll also be sharing the same things for the next hours and days.

 He slung his arm around me. Hindi naman niya inagaw ang basket mula sa akin ay nagmistula naman kaming dikit na dikit sa isa’t isa dahil ayaw niya yata akong bitiwan.

 It’s a good things na gumawa ako ng listahan ng mga kailangan naming. I searched for the bar of soap na parehong inireregalo ni Dustin sa akin, but I definitely had no chance finding it.

 “Phineas?” Nikolai called.

 “May nahanap ka?” Kaagad ko siyang nilapitan.

 “Nope. But maybe we can buy this. It’s cute.”

 “We still have extras in the house.” Tugon ko.

 “I want it.”

 “That’s for kids, Nikolai.”

 Tunog magulang yata akong nagpapaintindi sakaniya. But since he never let go of the pair of toothbrush, I had to pick it up.

 “This is not the shampoo that I want.” I explained to him, I checked the stuffs we are going to buy. Bumalik kami roon, hawak ko sa kabilang kamay ang basket at sa isa pa ay hawak ko naman siya.

 “What would you like me getting then?” Nakatayo kaming pareho, ako naman nakatayo habang nakatingala.

 “The green one.” I pointed.

 “Apple green.”

 “Green apple.” I replied. “Two.” Dalawa rin ang kinuha niya. Soon then after he put the bottles on our basket namili din siya.

 “I’d like us both using the same conditioner.” Aniya.

 “You choose.” Sambit ko. Pinapili ko siya.

 Seconds when two girls from the end of the alley were watching us, that I actually noticed them because they’re both giggling and pushing each other, shy like kids. They are approaching our position when Nikolai grabbed me.

 “Don’t mind them.” He whispered. Only I that can hear.

 “Let’s just go.” I reasoned to him dahil nahihiya pa rin na nanunuod ang dalawang babae sa amin.

 “We can do things, Phineas.”

 “What do you mean?” I asked.

 “I could be your boyfriend, right now.”

 I laughed. I snaked my hands around his waist too. Nikolai was moved, quite a bit startled, mistulang hindi siguro niya inaasahan na gagawin ko iyon.

 I hugged him, dropped the basket and smiled to him.

 “You can be my boyfriend anytime. Only when there are other girls watching.”

 “I’ll be.” He said, almost soundless. “Nagseselos ka ba kasi nakatingin sila sa akin?”

 “Huwag ka nga!” I growled. “Nakatingin din kaya sila sa akin.” Apela ko.

 “They are the same age as you!” Nikolai grinned, tiningnan niya muli iyong mga babae. “Kasing kulit mo rin ba sila?”

 “Hopefully not.”

 “Why not?”

 “They are girls, Nikolai. Girls are much worse than guys will ever be.” I stated.

“I guess they like you.”

 What? I cocked my head to looked at them. This time, one of the girls blushed for no reason that I can recover. “I guess the one does.” I cringed and hugged Nikolai tighter this time. “’Yung isa naman mukhang ikaw ang gusto, siguro pinag-uusapan nila ngayon kung paano sila maghahati sa ating dalawa.”

 “Oh that’s bad, because I’m not sharing you.”

 Something from inside me exploded into coldness, my own skin shrunk, frozen.

 “Pinakikilig mo naman ako.”

 “Ayaw mo ba?”

 I once find it crazy flirting with him but there’s no guarantee we are doing this again. As long as Nikolai’s this cool and normal, why not? If flirting with him helps, bakit hindi ko puwedeng subukan? Pero ngayon lang talaga mangyayari ‘to. Basta ngayon lang.

 “Ewan ko.”

 Lumingon si Nikolai sakanila. “Ngayon naman, kinikilig sila sa ginagawa natin dalawa.”

 “Hindi ka ba naiilang?”

 “I can sense us two hugging because we want to, wala akong makitang mali sa ginagawa natin.”

 This would be the first time I had appreciated hugging Nikolai, for myself. Somehow I found it comforting. And we left. I didn’t bother spilling another question him after my last one, I don’t want to complicate things to him since he seems like he’s not going to understand it this time.

 One thing that I know about Nikolai, is that he’s straight or maybe he was! I don’t know! That’s why I’m doubting him, or right now, I am doubting myself too.

 “Do you want to go home now?” He inquired me minutes after leaving the cashier’s area.

 Nikolai even assisted me on bringing the essentials. When I turned to close the car door, I saw hints of small sweats on his neck traveling down his collar bone.

 “Parang ang aga pa.” I said. “There’s a restaurant near here, kung gusto mo puwede tayong kumain doon.”

 “Let’s go?” Aniya. “You made me hungry.”

 “Magpunas ka ng pawis mo.” Utos ko ngunit humakbang lang siya palapit sa akin at tumingala, revealing his not just sexy but also a well-figured long neck in front of me.

 “I don’t have any hankie.” He stated, the bump on his throat moved sexily.

 Tumawa ako, not because I was about to touch his skin but because I feel like I was just played. Pero alam ko naman na kahit paglaruan ako ng kahit na sino, alam ko kung bakit at papaano. From my very point of view, Nikolai’s not playing with me, totally not just having fun too. We are communicating, and if there’s something above that thing, I should recognize it in no time.

 “Ang bilis mong pagpawisan.” Sinabi ko sakaniya, tsaka nag-ala girlfriend niyang concern na concern sakaniya, halos nalang linisan ko buo niyang mukha para lang magmukhang presko siya ulit.

 He’s a hot mess, one way possible I could describe him. And there’s more to that. If ever Nikolai stays this normal for long, I’m sure I’m going to know him more. More than I ever did.

 “Teka lang may pawis ka rin.” Inagaw niya ang panyo sa kamay ko.

 There could be somebody that’s glaring on us, but no silly intentions, I honestly want them to think that Nikolai’s a sweet boyfriend and we’re a gay-sweet couple.

 “Salamat.” Sambit ko.

 “Salamat din.” Nikolai replied, smiling at me.

 “Get inside the car, it’s getting hotter here.” I instructed him.

 “We’re the only hot thing that I could distinguish right here.” He cracked, bahagya kong pinisil ang tagiliran niya at umiwas lamang siya rito tsaka tatawa-tawang pumanhik sa sasakyan.

“Gusto mo ako na magdrive?”

 “Ako nalang muna, puwede ka na mamaya pag-uwi.” Sagot ko at isinara ang pinto. I strode towards the driver’s side.

 “Hindi ba tayo hahanapin ng magulang mo?” He inquired after I checked his seatbelts which are buckled already.

 “They know where we are, Nikolai, they wouldn’t worry.” I explained. “Besides, you are with me.” I grinned while assuring him.

 “You are right.” A kid-like nods were that I’d received. “I’m with you so there ain’t gonna be a problem.” His palm dropped on my knee. Nikolai gave me the lightest massage on my one leg and then his hands slowly roamed my upper body and deliberately stopped on my waist.

 It’s only the shirt I’m wearing that’s blocking his warm touch. Iyon lamang ang namamagitan sa kung anong puwedeng gawin ng mga kamay niya habang nasa loob kami ng sasakyan ko. It became warmer, until I finally realized that turning the ac on would be essential.

 “I know, this is not the right place.” He guessed, tumitig siya sa mata ko, alam na alam kung ano ang dapat niyang sabihin.

 “True. And this is not right.” I corrected him.

 We stayed inside the vehicle for minutes, with the ac full blast before deciding where to place my service, then we got out.

“Ang hirap naman nito,” reklamo ko. “Kakain na nga lang pahihirapan pa ako.”

 “Let me.” Salubong niya sa kamay ko nang sa wakas ay sumuko na ako and letting go of the crab’s claw. ���You are holding it the wrong way. Look, namaga tuloy ang daliri mo.”

 “It will ease probably.” I breathed out then irritatingly gazed at him. “These self-service things on places like this is tiring.”

 “Hindi naman puwede na iyon pang waiter ang magbukas nito para sa’yo.” Nikolai responded.

 We were seated decently. Last thing that I should consider is giving us a little distance. Kulang nalang ay magmake out kami kanina.

 “Besides, ikaw naman iyong gustong kumain dito.” Patuloy niya na ikinainis ko. At least naman lang sana kahit sa pagrereklamo ko ay sang-ayonan niya ako.

 “Oo na.” Asar akong tumingin sakaniya. Sinipatan ko siya ng tingin at umiwas sabay lingon sa gilid ko.

 He stared right on my face, I noticed and a plain smile shone when I forced to smile back.

 Marami kasing tao, iyon din ang gusto kong sabihin sakaniya. Every one knows that places like this is by far the very place of judgements. And I don’t want them to judge Nikolai just because he’s with me, not when we are just eating seafoods.

 “Seem annoyed, yeah?”

 “Agitated.”

 “Come here,” I sensed his thumb at the side of my lips. “You are okay, and I’m okay. Don’t think too much, baby.”

 “The hard stares want me to kill myself, Nikolai.” My eyes widened seeing him cracked it correctly.

 “But they’re staring on me while marveling at you. We are good together, Phineas. Unless we could make them even more jealous.” He winked. Sinubo niya ang laman nito sa akin at halos matawa tawa ko naman siyang sinubuan pabalik. “Nagseselos lang sila. Pakiramdam ko tuloy nagsisisi kang dinala mo ako rito.”

 I never replied, I don’t feel I needed to. Bahala siya.

 After finishing the meal, nagngitian lamang kaming dalawa. My bad, I was faking my smiles after that.

 “Can I use the toilet first before we leave?”

 “You don’t need to ask me for permission, Nikolai.”

 “Alright.”

 I sighed. Looking at him walked away, inayos ko ang nagulo ko yatang buhok tsaka tumayo. I better make sure he’s not doing anything crazy inside kaya doon ako sa labas naghintay.

 Then he went out basically after three minutes.

 “Why are you here?” Gulat siya nang makita ako. Hindi ako sumagot bagkus ay pumasok lamang ng diretso para umihi na rin. Iniwasan ko siya.

 But I didn’t move once I was rightly positioned inside the cubicle. I just stared onto the wall and slept for seconds.

 I shouldn’t like him, I thought.

 Kinapa ko ang aking bulsa at binasa ang kanina pang iniiwasan kong text ni Dustin. It says there: Can I come over tonight?

 Aside from the fact that texting is not really my thing, I ignored my boyfriend again. Ibinulsa ko muli ang telepono ko at pekeng pinihit ang flush ng inidoro.

 I turned to click the lock open.

 “Nikola-”

 “Mhmm.” He signed me to stay silent. Marahan niyang inabot ang kamay kong nakahawak sa siradura ng cubicle na iyon at pinabitaw ako mula rito.

 “Lumabas ka nga!” Mababa pa sa hininga akong nagtaboy sakaniya.

 “Silence, Phineas.” He directed with a straight face. “Maglinawan nga tayong dalawa rito, may problem ka ba sa ‘kin?”

 “I don’t know what you are talking about, tsaka huwag kang aburido dahil mas naiinis naman ako sa’yo. Bakit parang ikaw pa itong galit kasi sa pagkakaalam ko, kakatapos ko lang umihi.”

 “Inaasahan mo bang ngingiti lang ako sap pag-iiwas-iwas mo?” Nikolai’s eyebrows twitched.

 “Ano bang kailangan kong sabihin bukod sa katotohanan na bawal ang dalawang tao sa iisang cubicle?”

 He hissed silently. Tinulak niya ako paupo, he bended his body to meet my face.

 “We are not going out until you tell me why you are mad.”

 “I’m not mad, Nikolai.”

 “Yes you are. Hindi mo puwedeng ulit-ulitin sa akin saw ala lang, wala, wala, wala.”

 “Buwesit ka. Baka kung anong isipin ng mga tao sa labas dahil nandito tayong dalawa.” Iniwasan ko ang kaniyang mukha. “More importantly, I don’t need to explain myself to you, lalo na ang feelings ko kasi wala ka dapat pakielam doon.”

 “I don’t care about whatever or anyone. Ikaw, oo, inaalala kita at sa’yo lang ako may pakielam.” He explained, frustrated. “And don’t try finessing this conversation without saying any other words dahil lang alam mong hindi ako kalianman magagalit sa’yo.”

 Without any other reply, I just stayed silent and watched him get angry over me. Subalit kakasabi lamang niya, hindi niya kayang magalit sa akin. Iyon nga lang, gusto ko siyang galitin dahil iniinis niya ako sa malamig pa sa yelong mga sagot niya kanina. They were cold and plain, was I boring?

 But my hands grew weaker and needed assistance, isinampay ko ang mga kamay ko sa batok niya and I slightly flinched when his hand squeezed me on my waist. I grabbed him and tasted his lips. Hinila ko siya palapit until I have nothing to give, until I have nothing to tell him. With no words I can ever spill.

 I kissed him, like how I wanted him to kiss me. I haven’t recovered myself, not until he grabbed me for a full kiss. Just there with my heavy breathings, the cubicle smelt of my perfume, his manly sweats and our dark, silly thoughts.

 -

[greaterblogston]

I don't know y'all. This one was hard. And I'm not sure I really did that great of a job. But honestly, that's probably true of the last couple of these, so oh well.

I'll give brief explanations below, sometimes int he form of lyrics, sometimes in the form of cryptic nonsense. If you have questions, feel free to ask. Lyrics are italicized.  

A lot of these songs are dance-punk or new age punk bands that sound kinda dance-y (Devo, Gang of Four). I like the idea that Leon liked things with specific and predictable rhythms to them, so that kind of music made sense. And then this narrative presented itself throughout the playlist - dancing became synonymous for...well, living. Do you decide to dance, even if dancing is draining? Life can be draining too. You don't have to dance to be alive, but if dancing makes you feel alive, then please keep dancing.

Track listing after the break.

1. Stroke it Noel - Big Star Do you wanna dance? Easy, now!

2. Everything In Its Right Place - Radiohead A thesis song for Leon. Order that slowly slips into musical chaos, becomes somewhat orderly again. But is still messy. Everything can be in its right place, but for how long?

3. Natural's Not In It - Gang of Four The orderly, sharp rhythm and beat, and list-like lyrics remind me of Leon. as do lines like "this heaven gives me migraine."

4. [I Can't Get No] Satisfaction - Devo For some reason I feel like Leon would like Devo, mostly because of how orderly and tight their songs feel, but this song also matches his MO a bit. Never the Rolling Stones. Leon would not be a Stones fan. God, no. But Devo's version? Yeah, he can get into that. He's never satisfied either. There's too much chaos in the world.

5. Dance Yrself Clean - LCD Soundsystem I imagine Leon confronting the worst parts of his personality in this song. Doing things that intentionally piss people off just because it's part of his nature. Like refusing to dance, even though he knows someone like Louisa loves it. Making these fussy plans and scheduling everything obsessively, even if he does do things to support others. In other words: Talking like a jerk / except you are an actual jerk / and living proof that sometimes friends are mean. / Present company expect it / Present company just laugh it off / it's better than it seems.

6. No Big Bang - Priests I get the exhilaration but when you look down and see the sheer stupidity of the roller coaster just staring you in the face as blank and inescapable as the slab of concrete below Just waiting to catch you, to crush you, your falling body, your skull All of the sudden all of the science and evolution and progress I mean sure, it looks good from a distance but when you're really inside of it you realize it's fucking terrifying

7. Dead - They Might Be Giants The quintessential song about realizing you're dead and maybe wishing you weren't.

8. Crystalized - The xx Yeah, bad pun. Leon is a crystal ball now, get it? But also a lovely little song about a complicated relationship, of which Leon has plenty.

9. Lost Coastlines - Okkervil River This is a song about two friends who are parting. The two singers were both in two different bands, Okkervil River, and Sheerwater, and one singer was leaving to focus on the other band full time. And there's just something so beautiful about these two guys duet on one song together for a final time, recognizing something was over, celebrating the time they had, what they created, celebrating each other. It's just a beautiful song and it kinda reminds me of Michael and Leon a little. There's distance there, but they will always be close.

10. Self Control - Frank Ocean Sometimes you'll miss it / the sound makes you cry Some nights you're dancing / with tears in your eye

11. Leave Me Alone - New Order From my head to my toes / From the words in the book I see a vision that would bring me luck / From my head to my toes / To my teeth, through my nose You get these words wrong You get these words wrong / Everytime You get these words wrong / I just smile

12. Retrograde - James Blake I feel like this is Leon at his loneliest. This is an incredibly lonely song. The lyrics don't really match much of what he's going through. Well, maybe the lines "You're on your own in a world you’ve grown," and "So show me where you fit."

13. I Always Wanna Die (Sometimes)- The 1975 I bet you thought your life would change / but you're sat on a train again Your memories are sceneries for things you said / but never really meant. 14. Over and Over - Hot Chip Steady beat. You can dance to it. But does Leon want to? I love that it's about repetition. Something Leon appreciates for its predictability. I like the veiled threat of lines like, "Laid back, I'll give you laid back." Leon is not going to give you laid back.

15. Pieces of the People We Love - The Rapture Cause everybody's got a little piece of someone they hide It's okay, it's the way we distract until the day we die

16. Heartbeats - The Knife Look I don't have a good reason for this to be here other than I want it to be and feel like it should be. Think of it as Leon saying goodbye to Michael in a way. I don't know. Or Leon as a guiding higher power for Michael, but also accepting that Michael needs to grow on his own. Sure. That's the ticket.

17. Unforgettable Season - Cut Copy You sent an SOS away / Reach across the sky Through glowing windows we stare / But not at home

18. Subways - The Avalanches 19. Going Home - The Avalanches These are just fun danceable mixtape music about riding the Subway so I felt, "How can I not include them on a Greater Boston playlist with dance music on it?"

20. Bodys - Car Seat Headrest This is my favorite song of the year. I could have died this year. I had a pretty bad health scare. And lines like, "Do you realize our bodies could fall apart at any second?" hit home harder than they did earlier in the year. Ultimately this song is about letting go out your personal anxieties and deciding to live, deciding to ask someone to dance, deciding to embrace life while you can. I think it's appropriate for Leon. I think it's appropriate for all of us. But it's especially appropriate for me right now. So, "those are you got some nice shoulders. I'd like to put my hands around them."

21. ...While You're Alive - Jeff Rosenstock & 22. Perfect Sound Whatever - Jeff Rosenstock Possibly weird choices, but "when you're a ghost they'll sit around and talk about why they love you the most," make it a must to include. And it's another song that's about telling people why they matter to you while they have the time.

The second song is about acknowledging that chaos is inevitable. There is no perfection. A good lesson for Leon and all his planning. "Perfect always takes so long because it doesn't exist." There is no perfect sound. It doesn't exist. Then again, if it were to exist, a room full of people cheerily chanting, "It doesn't exist!" at the top of their lungs might be it.

23. Let's Dance - Spiritualized The hour is getting late They're putting all our dreams away Lord have mercy on all of our thoughts today I should get away But I would rather stay and dance C'mon darling let's dance.

#leon #leon stamatis #playlist #leon playlist #greater boston #greater boston podcast #audio drama #audiodrama #character playlist #is tumblr dead yet?

[survivorunfinishedbusiness]

Episode #3 - “I Stand For The Flag, I Kneel At The Cross” - Amanda

https://survivorunfinishedbusiness.tumblr.com/post/175489103003/immunity-challenge-3

Moral of the story, never trust a weeaboo goombitch

Audaux or whatever that fucking tribe's name is is dead to me. They are worth nothing. SCUM. Scum is what they are. Liars. Their word is worth nothing in this game and neither are they. Unlike them I've got an idol. Time's ticking. And sooner or later their times gonna be up.

im overwhelmed

https://survivorunfinishedbusiness.tumblr.com/post/175491921028/announcement

Amanda is removed from the game.

I’m not a Christian but I know who Monique Heart is. “Therefore whatever you have said in the dark shall be heard in the light, and what you have whispered in private rooms shall be proclaimed on the housetops.” Luke 12:3

oh wow. This game really took a turn for the worst huh. Nicholas left, Dani exploded, one world and a swap happened, tea was spilled, my closest ally was removed from the game, and Athena is ending after this season. I would like it to be known that I had absolutely no idea Amanda was so problematic and would not have gotten so close to her had I known! I'm taking this whole night kinda hard because it's like a punch in the face for me, not only because it hinders my game but also because it's so sad that I had gotten so close to Amanda these past few days and it's honestly super tragic what happened. I literally had no idea she was problematic and I had grown to care for her. I'm def just gonna take the night off and try to gather my bearings before I try to focus on the game or anyone else in it for now. Today has been insanely exhausting. Tomorrow is a new day and I fully intend to play just as hard (if not harder) as I was before, but I'm probably gonna have to start back at square 1. Wish me luck!!

So, tribal went exactly as I planned, and the swap happened... just as planned. However, Amanda wasn't something I had planned or even considered happening. Like, it's crazy when you think you know somebody, but then it turns out they are actually a 180 of what you think they are... Naturally this throws the Night Owls into serious haywire, and honestly, it might as well be a new game only with less allies at this point.

Well, Dani as it turns out is the Abi-Maria type, you know "fuck with me, you're dead." Good news is that I'm on a different tribe. Bad news is that I went in that tribal with 6 people willing to work with me, and walked out with 2.

https://youtu.be/BKWTR3cUibk

As time goes on, I'm slowly feeling a bit better about my tribe, but we'll see how I'm feeling when/if we go to tribal. Bodhi surprisingly seems less upset than Dani, almost makes me glad I got him instead of Dani. (Though having Colin and Timmy would have been ideal for me.)

Hi hosts I haven't made a confessional yet. honestly last night was wild like. i was drinking because i'm on vacaytion and that's what you do and like i started drinking like RIGHT when ryan sent the letter so i knew this was gonna be an interesting night so i kept on doing it and i was definitely gone. so yeah my tribes cool i like dani a lot. hopefully her drama will keep us alive. i don't know who's from what tribe but i do know anna and i are the only ones from talio on a tribe of 8 so that's really cute!

Okay so... last night was a hot mess. We tribe swap but then get put on One World with a scary pairs challenge, but then everyone fights Amanda Lynn for blindsiding Nicholas, THEN she gets exposed and quits the game. Omg Dani’s mind... So now I’m on a new tribe so let’s assess them! Super happy Andrew is with me. My closest ally from the old tribe that I can trust. Nathan and Nicole are here too, but they seem like a tighter duo with each other than us. I just hope they don’t do any shady business. Super happy to be reunited with Bodhi, we were a duo in B.B. pokémon but it might be known with Julia on this tribe. Speaking of Julia, don’t think we’re on good terms. She doesn’t like me so I’m not gonna bother messaging her. I played furby with Colin, we didn’t talk much there though. He tells me he lead the blindside against Nicholas and Kori was with him too so they’re probably working together. And then there’s Isaac, don’t have an opinion of him. Let’s just hope this phase of the game goes swimmingly.

https://survivorunfinishedbusiness.tumblr.com/post/175509590398/immunity-challenge-4

OK WOW THAT AMANDA LYNN DRAMA I THINK SORTA SAVED ME! I WAS PAIRED WIHT JAKE! IN THAT PAIRED UP WHAT EVER CRAP TURN LEFT TURN RIGHT BULLSHIT! and well i was most definitely going to turn right on his ass. Bc i know for a fact he was lying to me i know he was also turning right. IM NOT DUMB JAKE! sooo i was shook! bc like i didnt know all that wud play out. BUT THEN QUEEN JAY B. EXPOSED AMANDA LYNNS ASS! WHICH GETS HER PRETTY MUVH REMOVED/WALKED FROM THE GAME! which means no dumb pairs! sooo now we r on this one world tribal beach for like no reason ! ahah. but yeah i pretty much trust no one on my tribe like at all. BESIDES DANI A FUCKING QUEEN ! DANI I FUCKING LOVE YOU TO THE MOON AN BACK! <3 well im on the ugly audax tribe now. and i need to make  a video DR about other stuff   

ali and emily TY TY FOR PUTTING ANNA on my tribe after the swap! SHE  IS A GODDESS ON THE UNDERWORLD <3 (mean this in a good way) she is definitely a slytherin sooo cunning! ME AN HER BOTH BEING POTS AND VILLAINS OF OUR GAMES AND BEING ON THE SAME TRIBE <3  wow ty for rigging us together <3 SHE IS MY QUEEN! LIKE i hope she is bein genuine wiht me right now bc i want to work with her sooo bad!

Before my first tribal https://youtu.be/RfsGDjeD9_w   After my first tribal https://youtu.be/NDCkPgw75II 

https://youtu.be/M4bMaLxzwpY  Update on what I said about Blake though: we both like the same shows so that’s amazing because they’re Netflix shows which are my favorite.

Ali won't tell me where the idols are. That fucking snake this is why I told the hosts I refused to play with him.

Well, now that the Amanda fiasco has been said and done, I feel good about AJ and Julia in my tribe, meanwhile I still have Colin and I'm trying to work on a potential 5th, if we can get 5 that's a majority in a possible vote, and then I can move through this tribe fearlessly.

I dunno how I feel about the challenge, because it feels like one that if I'm in, I could definitely drop the ball, and as a result be the target, which would SUCK like majorly.

Hi My name is john coffey And yes I drink coffee.

https://survivorunfinishedbusiness.tumblr.com/post/175523828513/immunity-results-4

Talio wins immunity, sending Audax is sent to tribal council.

I'm a little late with this confession but Amanda got removed cus sis, she's homophobic, bye.

17 more to go.

So theres some annoying beef going on between Timmy and Dani and I mean I might as well be annoying and call them out about it in the tribe chat. It's the last season of Athena we gotta spice shit up.

So much is happening, I wanted Dani out, Dani wanted me out, Mo was trying to instigate stuff in the tribe chat. Once the challenge results were posted Ryan was messaging me saying that we should keep the 4 of us who were in the challenge safe because we need strong competitors and I agreed. Then after that I heard from Anna that Dani was saying my name, which is fucked up because she (Dani) had just said last night that she wants to put the past behind us. But honestly, and this is going to sound really stupid, after the Mo thing in the tribe chat, I'd much rather have him gone. The way to do that is to work with Dani and just let everything out into the open. Especially since Mo said, both in PMs and in the tribe chat, that he is trying a more assertive and bold strategy. Don't reveal your strategy, that's stupid. So Dani and I have been talking and we want Mo out because that seems like the best idea right now because he is trying to personify that there is an issue between us. I can get Anna on board and she seems like she would agree to it based on a small talk about it and Dani said she got John. But also John hasn't responded to my last message so....that's something. Trusting Dani could be what gets me out of this game and I really could be booboo the fool, but sometimes risks need to be taken. I'm just hoping that I can convince Ryan that this is the smarter plan, or maybe he can talk some sense into me and then Dani goes. Either way I don't want to be the one leaving tomorrow and I'm going to try everything to make sure that that does not happen. But right now it is 1am and I can get nothing accomplished this late, so that will have to wait until tomorrow where hopefully I don't wake up to a tribe chat on fire.

ofc my tribe loses. Tribal council loves "ana" ;) @ emily anyway dani and timmy are fighting which makes it sooo easy to just sit back and vote one of them BUT i really like timmy. and Dani is close to Blake and Ryan who I have an alliance chat with so I don't think they will vote her. Naturally I threw out the idea to keep BOTH of them for the drama and since Dani is going to go after Colin, Kori AND Timmy she will make such a great meat shield even in the future. So I threw out Mo's name. We were originally not going to vote anyone who competed in the challenge but Mo took literally so long, 5 minutes longer than the person on the other tribe and Ryan had gotten him a beautiful lead. Ofc I was 2 minutes slower but hear me out. Apparently in the jeopardy challenge he had bad internet or something and flopped and let everyone down. So thats kinda 2 in a row. Don't get me wrong, I think he's a super nice guy and I get why everyone loves him BUT him and I's convo's seem to run dry. Compared to people like Blake or Ryan who I want to talk to all the time, I don't see myself working with him closely in the future. So we will see. Looks like its gonna be one of those three!

it's me again. SO last night mo was like stirring the pot or something and tried having like an intervention with dani and timmy. or like, relationship therapy i guess. BUT it seems like little mo's fun backfired because mr timmy came to me this morning and it appears he and dani have kissed and made up and now they want little mo out. gay gagging! anna's on board i think. and it doesn't seem like vindicta is united. i know john said he didn't really connect with everyone so that's good. and timmys gonna pull in RTP so we can vote out mo. so that's fun!

The numbers to get Mo out seem to be there so I am thrilled! We don't need someone who is going to try to cause drama just so they can then hide in the shadows. The difficult part comes next and that is telling Ryan that Mo is the target, but I am hoping that will go well because the numbers are already there, and I'll phrase it in a way that is me asking him rather than saying it is already happening...even though it is.

Kori is literally.... like... insane. Every single time I'm on a call with him and one other person he offers a 'voice chat' alliance to f3. We've had one with Timmy since night 1, made one with Nathan yesterday, and he also offered one to Isaac. It's literally too much I'm screaming. Straights are WILD.

LAST MINUTE DR.... I WON IMMUNITY WOOOO BUT I THINK THE FIRST TIME I DONT IM GONE GBVFDJGNVFD

https://survivorunfinishedbusiness.tumblr.com/post/175556933558/tribal-council-4-audax

Mo is sent home by a vote of 6-1. You can watch his preseason interview here.

#writeanewchapter #episodes

[joyfullynervouscreator]

In Rivendell

Third installment of Mori(you)/Thorin drabble that began with Cuddles & On the Road Again. (If you’d prefer Dwalin/Mori, read Crushes as part 3 instead)

Originally for @lady-kaaesien from an imagine on @imaginexhobbit

“I want a bath,” you said quietly, pleased when Nori nodded at once and stood, ready to show you the way. You were not surprised that your shifty brother already knew where to find the bathhouses; after all, you’d been surrounded by the oddly flimsy elven architecture for more than a day already. If Nori hadn’t already cased the place, and found himself in more than one place the Elves would prefer he not go, you’d eat your sock. Which – as you had but the one pair and they were in a state of griminess so severe you wondered if they would stand on their own when removed – was not something you wished to attempt.

“Where are you going, Mori?” Thorin barked, which made you scowl at him. This overprotective lark he was playing at was both insulting and annoying.

“Back off, Thori-umph!” you snarled, ending in a high-pitched shriek when someone tumbled into your back, making your fall into Thorin’s chest with a whump.

“Kíli!” Thorin growled above your head, as you pushed away from the arms that had instinctually wrapped around you.

“Sorry, Uncle, I tripped,” the young archer said guilelessly. Your eyes narrowed at him, not believing a word.

“C’mon, Mo,” Nori called, his peaks showing clear against the night sky as his head popped up over the window frame. You didn’t look back when Thorin grabbed half-hearted at your forearm, nor when he called your name as you swung yourself out of the window, joining Nori on the verdant grass of the garden.

“Honestly, I wish our esteemed leader would get over himself. I’m not fragile. I tell you, No, I wish Dís had come along. Maybe Thorin would worry about someone else then!” you groused.

“Thorin knows that, sis, he’s just grumpy about the Elves or something. Now, may I tempt m’Lady with a lovely bath?” He tugged on one of your braids, tickling your cheek with the end playfully.

“Let’s go, nadad. Show me the wonders of Rivendell,” you smirked, making your brother laugh.

“The Terror Twins take on Rivendell in an epic whirlwind adventure!” he crowed, using Dwalin’s old nickname for the two of you. He was only a few months older than you, after all – your adad’s mistress was his amad, while your own had died giving birth to you – which made you almost twins. Most people who didn’t know actually believed you to be twins. You smiled.

Nori left you outside the bathhouse, probably standing guard somewhere he could see you and no one could see him as was his wont. It didn’t bother you. Unlike Dori’s sometimes smothering need to protect his siblings, Nori’s style of guarding was unobtrusive. The fact that you were more than capable of defending yourself – working as a sellsword for nearly six decades had given you a lot of experience in the art of survival – also meant Dori didn’t worry so much for you as he did Ori. Ori was… soft. Not just because of all the knitwear, but Ori had never had to worry about his next meal, even though his birth had stolen your Amad, he’d had three older siblings ready to take care of him. Dori provided home and hearth, and the bulk of the income for your small family, Nori was a gifted thief, of course, and you had found it easy to be hired as a caravan guard even when you were still too young for the job.

The bathhouse was everything a girl could want.

“That’s the ladies’ area, Master Dwarf,” an Elf said. You looked up, winking.

“How lucky for me to be a lady, then, Master Elf,” you smirked. The Elf’s eyes widened noticeably.

“Err… in that case, go right ahead,” he murmured sheepishly. “I’ll see if we can’t find you a robe while your clothes are washed.” Honestly, you hadn’t expected your hosts to care about laundry – you had intended to wash what you still had while you bathed anyway – but it would be nice not to have to resort to your cloak while your clothes dried.

“Le fêl[1], Master Elf,” you nodded politely. It always paid to be polite in foreign lands, something Thorin seemed to forget when it came to Elves – he’d been reasonably polite to the few farmers you’d traded with on the road, bartering for permission to bed down in barns and such or buying eggs if the hunting was bad. The Elf was now staring at you as though you were a particularly interesting flower.

“I did not think the Dwarrow learned our tongue?” he wondered.

“Most do not, it is true, for most of us do not have dealings with your kind,” you averred. “I was raised as a playmate of a Princess, however, and perforce learned some phrases. Travelling in Gondor and the south has taught me a few more,” you winked at him, pleased that you’d managed to make him blush. Well, you assumed his face was doing what passed for blushing to Elves, a slight glow appearing in his ears.

“I-I will find you something to wear, Mistress,” he babbled. It was oddly endearing how flustered he was. Maybe you were the first Dwarf he had met? “Leave your laundry outside the door, someone will return it to you when it is clean.” Deciding to take pity on the hapless Elf, you simply nodded and went off to seek out your bath.

The elf had been better than his word. You were now wearing a dress – it was several centuries out of fashion, but perhaps Elves didn’t know that – but it fit properly. You twirled. The Elf had even found you some shoes, which went with the dress – a deep topaz colour that went well with your hair, bringing out the different shades of red and brown. If you were perfectly honest, you’d missed feeling pretty since you left Ered Luin – even if you were used to dressing ‘male’ while guarding caravans and travelling, you almost exclusively wore dresses while at home, enjoying the freedom of being yourself.

“It suits you,” the Elf said, sounding slightly relieved. You twirled again, making him laugh joyously with the size of your smile.

“I love it!” you promised. “How in the name of Durin did you find a real Dwarf dress in Rivendell?” you wondered.

“I asked my Lord Elrond. He said it belonged to the wife of an old friend, someone called Nauma?” he didn’t see the way you stroked your fingers over the dress. Nauma… could he mean Queen Nauma of the Grey Mountains? “He said that you may keep it, it has been in our storage rooms for centuries, my Lady.”

“Móeidr,” you heard yourself say, still awed by the ancient garment. “My name is Móeidr, Master Elf.”

“You may call me Nengeldir,” he smiled.

 Nori whistled appreciatively when he saw your new dress, making you smack his arm, though you couldn’t keep the smile from returning to your face.

“Pretty,” he said, studying you seriously. “Dori will have a fit.” You shared a cheeky smile at that. Dori might trust you to protect yourself… but that was when you were dressed as a male, seeing you like this was bound to send him into near-hysterics.

“It would have been impolite to decline, nadad,” you said loftily, copying Dori’s most supercilious tone easily. “After all, my Lord Elrond is our host, and the dress once belonged to a Queen of our folk.”

“Really?” Nori asked, grinning back when your face split in another smile.

“Nauma, Nengeldir said, though I don’t think Elrond told him who Nauma was,” you laughed. “Think of what Thorin will say when he hears I’m wearing his great-grandmother’s dress!” you chuckled, letting Nori drag you off to the courtyard camp.

 Thorin stared. He was somewhat concealed by remaining in a convenient doorway, but staying hidden was the last thing on his mind, staring at Mori who was showing off her new dress to the appreciative eyes of the Company. Jealousy ate at him; he wanted to be able to stare at her freely, to know she desired the feel of his eyes on her. She was always beautiful, to his mind, but tonight she was gorgeous. The dress, the way her eyes shone in the torchlight, whirling around in an impromptu dance with Nori. Thorin wanted to kiss her. As often before, he ruthlessly squashed any impulse in that direction, knowing that he was destined to pine for her until the end of days. Her words of a few days before rang in his mind ‘you’ll drive me barmy!’… could she not see that he needed to protect her, keep her safe? How could she not realise how bleak and empty his life would be without her in it? Thorin knew she thought him akin to a brother, and he supposed he had reinforced that, treating her much like he had Dís when she was growing up… but that was decades ago. His sister’s best friend, despite a thirty-year age-gap, someone the lads considered an aunt… and the first time he’d heard little Fíli call her Auntie, Thorin had known that he wanted it to be her true title. He had tried, over the years, doing his best to flirt with her – even though he had to admit that his skills at flirting were pretty dismal – but to no avail. She was friendly with Dwalin, often found sparring with him and for a long time Thorin had wondered if that was where her eyes lay. Dwalin said no, of course, and Thorin knew that he wasn’t lying, though he did not appreciate the way Dwalin would laugh whenever Mori accused Thorin of being a pseudo-brother. It hurt. Not the mockery, he was used to Dwalin mocking him for something or other, and took great pleasure in returning the mockery at any given opportunity, but the idea that Mori had placed him so firmly in the brother category was a painful realisation. For a few years after he had first realised – greatly helped by the fact that Mori had gone out with the caravans and he’d been gone a lot too – he had tried to stamp out every little ember of the flame he carried for her, to no avail. As soon as he had caught sight of her auburn locks, close to Dís’ dark as they spoke quietly to each other in the kitchen, the embers had burst back into bright flames, licking at his passionate heart. When she had smiled, grey eyes sparkling, and given him a hug in welcome, he’d nearly had to excuse himself to conceal his body’s reaction to the feel and smell of her.

“A bonny lass,” Dwalin rumbled quietly, startling Thorin out of his contemplations. He scowled at his friend.

“Keep your voice down!” he hissed. Dwalin chuckled.

“How long are you going to keep pretending that your heart doesn’t beat faster around her?” Dwalin asked, solemnly stuffing his pipe. Bofur had taken Nori’s place, and Thorin was busy glaring death at the miner. “Mahal, I thought you were going to skewer Bilbo that night,” Dwalin chuckled. A deeply buried dark part of Thorin had been more than tempted to bury Deathless in the Hobbit’s small body. A larger part had been seething with jealousy, but the largest part of him had crowed at being the centre of her attention, enjoying the spark of fire in her usually cool grey eyes as she stood up to him – challenged him – like a queen should. His Queen. Tonight, she looked the part, even if he would have added sapphires around her neck, and diamonds in her hair, sparkling jewels in her ears and maybe a ruby in her nose. He was so lost in staring at her, imagining all the things he’d love to see her wear – and not wear – that he never felt Dwalin shift behind him, the big palm pushing him forwards at the opportune moment.

 When Thorin stumbled into your hold, his hands automatically catching yours in position for dancing, you couldn’t help laughing at the startled look in his blue eyes. Over his shoulder, Dwalin winked at you. Well, you thought, if a dance might help cheer him up, who were you to decline? Thorin was an excellent dancer – he’d been forced by their amad to help Dís learn, and in turn Dís had made him teach you – and you relaxed into his confident lead.

“You look pretty,” he blurted, scowling. You weren’t quite sure how to take that. Did he not approve of you looking pretty?

“The Elves gave it to me,” you explained. His frown deepened. That was not your goal! “They took my clothes away for laundering,” you continued, though that didn’t seem to fill him with the same joy as it had you. Truth be told, he could probably have done with a proper bath; you had noticed that he’d snuck out to wash his tunic and undershirt in a fountain of all places. “Nengeldir was kind enough to ask Lord Elrond if they had anything suitable for a dwarrowdam to wear while my own clothes dried.” The turns of dancing were almost automatic between you.

“Móeidr,” Thorin began. You shivered lightly. He rarely said your full name, but you’d have to be deaf not to appreciate the sound of it in his mouth. “Are you cold?” he asked, frowning again. You almost laughed. As if you could be cold! You had spent an hour dancing already and Thorin gave off heat like a bloody forge! You didn’t think you’d feel cold dancing with him even in the darkest night of winter.

“No,” you whispered. “A bit peckish, actually, I wonder if Nori managed to scrounge up some food yet.”

At that moment, Lord Elrond appeared, making Bifur’s quiet fluting peter out rapidly. You looked up, scowling at Thorin’s back. The big lump had unceremoniously pushed you behind him, bristling at the interrupting elf, no doubt.

“Dinner is ready,” he said, gesturing behind him. Pinching Thorin’s side, you stepped out from his shadow, ignoring the scowl on his face entirely.

“Le fêl, Elrond, hîr Imladris,” you said, curtseying the best Amad had taught you. “I hamp bain.”

The Elf laughed, a delighted sound. “Nengeldir spoke truly of you, my Lady,” he bowed. “Will you do me the honour of having your enchanting company for the meal?” He offered you his arm, though the difference in height made it slightly awkward to take. Still, you made an attempt, ignoring Dori’s gasp behind you and the dark scowl Thorin was probably aiming at your back this very minute. Clearly, you’d have to apologise to Dwalin later for ruining his plans to cheer up Thorin, you thought, with a slight sigh of regret.

 The ELF had stolen Mori! Thorin seethed, following the happily chatting elf lord. Right from his arms! And where had she picked up their silly tongue?! Stomping down the corridor, Thorin barely heard the rest of the company following, all his attention fixed on the dwarrowdam in front of him, glaring holes in the back of Elrond’s head.

“Your King is not happy with me,” Elrond chuckled quietly. He had slowed his walk slightly, you could tell, allowing you to keep up easily. It was… courteous, you thought, deciding that you rather liked the Elf Lord.

“Thorin likes to think it’s his duty to protect me. I like to remind him I can take care of myself fine,” you replied sharply. “I don’t need a fourth brother.”

“I did not think your people commonly had so many children,” Elrond mused. You flushed slightly.

“Dori, Nori, and Ori are my brothers,” you explained. “They have the same mother, the dam who adopted me when my mother died in childbed. My father and Nori’s father are the same, however, and I’ve always been raised as their sister,” you shrugged. Elrond simply hummed thoughtfully, steering you with a light touch to the shoulder.

 “Your king’s heart was stolen a long time ago,” Elrond said, coming to a stop next to Balin, “by someone who doesn’t even know she holds it.” The diplomat did not reply, simply puffing on his pipe, staring into the distance. “It is obvious to me,” Elrond continued, “and I think you should make her aware of it sooner, rather than later. A heart grounded in love is far more difficult to corrupt.” Elrond did not know if love would be enough to save Thorin Oakenshield from his grandfather’s fate, but it might still help. Mithrandir was adamant that Thorin would not fall, but Elrond was not so certain. The wizard trusted in Thorin’s stubbornness, he thought, but stubbornness might not be enough to ward off what Elrond feared lay await in the Lonely Mountain.

  [1] Thank you(you were generous)

#thorin oakenshield #Thorin has feels #thorin/reader #reader-insert #hobbit #hobbit imagine #imaginexhobbit

[redsletterday]

Passion Pit - Constant Conversations

#12 Why does it feel like it’s my fault? I’m not mad but I just hoped you’d understand.

Yes, I’m posting again. Mostly because you didn’t want to talk. I wanted to see how you’d handle these kinds of situations. I know I’ve mentioned that numerous times already only to intervene the situation myself to try to seek out and talk to you. I’m guessing you fell asleep way early (9PM) but that’s understandable given that you guys had to work on a lot today. If you didn’t fall asleep, then…well, I wouldn’t want to believe that you didn’t fall asleep and just chose to ignore me. That would prove the point I’ll be making in this post.

I was stressed today because a lot happened that I did not expect. Adjusting to it was quite hard. It went pretty okay in the end but it still took a toll on my mood for today. I was tired. It was great to see some life as soon as I got back home but had to go back to work since I was already getting time pressured that I wouldn’t be able to finish my quota. I know you guys wanted pizza and were waiting for me to get home because I had the Shakeys card. But I gave the card number and pin already yet no one ordered. Sure, you, Babie, would be busy, so why didn’t you just ask Jan or Amiel since they wanted it too? I already told you I still had work through text and told you several times even when I was already at the condo. I’m also annoyed at Jan for still pushing through with the order even if she knew she was leaving already anyway. So its like she made us use money for an unnecessary meal that she wouldn’t even take part in. I bought this for the four of us. I gave it to Babie’s group because I’m sure they needed something to boost them up a little bit from all the work.

Deadline came and I lost 1 article from one job and the only article for another job. When the pizza came, I apparently also lost the other free pizza because of wrong information placed on the website delivery system. And to put it all off, I don’t have any money anymore.

In the end, like I said, it would be okay and it was okay. I just needed to think straight for myself and actually breathe. I had to clean up my room and my cabinets because apparently it’s a psychological thing that it makes it easier for people to think when they know their stuff is organized or clean. It worked for me a while ago and it was great. I’m sorry if I used a harsh tone on telling you that I needed time by myself. I was hoping you’d understand because I know you knew I was already stressed. What I didn’t understand was what put you off. Was it something I did? I’m not sure what I did wrong so I wished you could tell me. Or was it because you blamed yourself for my stress and now you’re retreating to your corner? I wish you could have at least said sorry. I was trying to get your attention in saying that “hey, I’m okay now, I need a hug” but you just shrugged it off. You know I know when there’s something wrong and I saw that in you a while ago.

Why couldn’t you just talk? Maybe its hard. That, I would understand. But maybe you could’ve stayed. You know how much I value communication that I don’t mind having to initiate talking everytime I need to. But I can’t do that if you’re not even physically here.

Whether it was something I did or that you blamed yourself for it all, it would not matter either way if we don’t even get to talk about it. If its any consolation, however, I think it’s okay if you fell asleep since, again, it’s the best time for you to do so. I just wished we could have at least hugged before you left the room. Or maybe even replied to my texts.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not mad at you or me or anyone. I’m just annoyed at things people did including you (and Jan and some people in my Rizal group). While I don’t understand Jan or the others I’m annoyed at, I understand enough that you didn’t mean to annoy me so you don’t need to actually say sorry. You have one of the purest hearts I know and I don’t need to doubt your intentions because I know they will always be good, at least subjectively.

Again, I just wished you could have stayed. That was all I was asking for. Actually, we didn’t even need to talk. A good hug would suffice to end the night on a good tone; we could talk about it next time with clearer heads since we’re both tired anyway. Even though I understand you have good intentions, what I just don’t understand is why you have to act that way.

I’m posting this here because I wasn’t able to talk to you and I wish you could read this. I love you and I hope you understand this well. Stop running away from me when things go wrong. Of course, unless, you would want to leave me already then be my guest and do so. I’ll try stopping you but I can only do so much to stop you if you keep running away from me and the situation anyway. If this is really love, you’d go in it even if it hurts. You know this. You know all those cliché quotes about how love hurts. I hope you could go the extra mile for me. I’m not asking for anything physical. I’m asking for extra effort to go against what you feel is better for you but know isn’t right. Do what you know you need to do. Talk to me.

Red: “Pabebe ka eh” Babie: “Uy hindi ah… Konti lang” ^One December day last year while eating ice cream in Pink Berry SM Megamall.

I already knew you were pabebe, Babie. Kahit di mo aminin. Pero okay lang. Kahit alam kong pabebe ka, pinili pa rin kita kasi alam kong kaya kitang panindigan. Panindigan mo rin naman sana itong pinasukan mo.

We’re in this together, remember?

AGAIN, if it wasn’t clear enough, I’m not mad. Don’t be like Jan na pinipilit na sabihin na galit talaga si Amiel, or in this case me. Because, I, am not, mad. I’m just frustrated. It’s so easy to cheer me up, you know. All you gotta do is talk. Not mumble, whisper, or murmur. But talk.

[anihan-spills]

Girl in the Mirror (Part II)

II.    Alberta

   The big kalesa stopped in the middle of the mansion. The first to go out was Don Sinestrella in his expensive suit and cane, smoking a big tobacco cigar. The second to exit was his wife, Donya Sinestrella in a lavish gown fanning herself with an elegant fan whose colors seem to matches her outfit. The last was Alberta — in a simpler gown. She looked at the view of the house and turns around to the farm.

   I remember the Don stretching his arms and sighing. After so, he faced his wife. “Isn’t this beautiful, mi amore?”.

   The lover cheerily agreed. “It is beautiful, mi amore!” The man faced his daughter, who seemed more in distraught than her parents. Nevertheless, he asked her in the same manner how beautiful the newly attained land was. “Isn’t it beautiful, mi amore?”

   Alberta faced him. “Where’s the university?”. The cycle continues.

   “We don't even know how you became so enthusiastic about stars, and planets, and comets, and moons!” Don Sinestrella exclaimed, “Why don't you go with us to Señor Patricio’s house tomorrow night. You can have your first glass of champagne there!”

   This made Alberta sigh. “I’ll think about it.”

   Alberta enters her new room, the furniture all placed. Although the hassle of placing one’s own furniture was retracted from her, she was still tired and frustrated as ever from the moving. She dumps herself into her bed. She turns on her side and faces the wall where the mirror stood, which is opposite to the window. She stares at her reflection before going to sleep.

   Four, or maybe more than four, hours later, she woke. In her mirror, she could see the reflection of the moon and the stars that surround it. It was late night, making the celestial bodies shine so brightly. The luminescence made her run to her window to take a look.

   “The stars are bright tonight. I want to be a star — a star that can actually be seen and be mesmerized at. I want to be a star that so inspired Thales, Copernicus, Galileo, and maybe those who are to come.

   “I want to study these stars. I want to know and see how these stars are so capable of shining light through a dark and cold vacuum. Just like them, I want to shine through something empty. But alas, this society is a black hole, sucking out the light of any star like me to shine. The male stars shine are able to shine... though. I don’t know how, but they were somehow always the exception.

   “What am I without these stars? How will I end? How will they end? I wish I could find out.”

   Maybe I was a bit forward when I emerged. The speech, after all, was worthy of an instant standing ovation. Or, maybe it’s because it was my first time to hear a speech. Regardless, I clapped and said:

   “Wow! So inspirational!”

   I was too forward. She looked at me, frightened. She stared at me quietly before shouting.

   “G-G-G-GhoST!!!”

   This made me frightened too. Then again, what else should I have expected? Every action has an equal opposite reaction. I became terrified as well.

   “WHERE????”

   Alberta took out her rosary and trembling pointed at me. At that time, it made me even more confused. I looked around myself, thinking the ghost was around me. Then I was still shouting, jumping all around. “WHERE!? WHERE!? WHERE!????”

   “YOU!” Alberta shouted.

   This one word had answered so many questions.

   “Me?” I asked. “Oh yeah! I haven’t introduced myself. I had to explain to her. “Oh. I’m no ghost.”

   “Then what are you?” she asked.

   Oh. I don’t know. I was never asked that question before. I had to go with the most obvious answer. “I’m the girl in the mirror, I guess.”

    She rebutted: “That's not possible. You're in a mirror. Mirrors are supposed to be reflecting visible light from its opposite side and right now... you aren't on the opposite side.”

   I stared blankly at her. I admitted, “I did not understand a thing you said.”

   She frowned and went closer to me. “Do you have a name?”

   I continued staring at her before slowly shaking my head. “No…”

   Alberta looked at me before staring out the window. She said, “I’ll find you a name.”

   I smiled at her. I took the chance for the inquiry. “Do you have a name?”

   “Alberta”, she answered.

   My smile became wider. “Alright, Alberta. I heard you like stars.”

   “I do…”, she said, “I want to be a physicist, you see. And study light.”

   I said “That’s beautiful!”, although I did not know what that meant.

   She agreed, “Yeah, it is.”

   That then, she jotted up in excitement. “Oh, I know! Since mirrors are reflections of light, and you are in a mirror, why not call you ‘Lucia’!? It does mean light.”

   I gasped. “Oh! I like that name.”

   “Right?”

   She sighed and looked away. I notice her mood change as she went to look at the stars once more.

   I said, “You look sad.”

   She replied, “I am.”

   I asked, “Is there a reason?”

   She sighed and turned to face me before opening up. “Well, my family doesn't really support me liking... stars. Actually, there are other people who don't support me liking the stars. They would rather have me in a convent than be a physicist. I shouldn't be mad at them. But I should try to do something at least. I'd do anything to be with them; these stars.”

   I looked away. That then I somehow remember, as I was being transported, seeing a library nearby. It was west of the mansion. There was an old acacia tree near the library.

   That’s when I told her: “You know, there's a library nearby. That's the only thing I can recommend to you.”

   She jotted up, smiling. “There is!?”

   I told her the directions. “Just head west. You'll reach the town in half an hour by walking. You'll find a library near the old acacia tree.”

   She leaped in glee. I saw her dumping herself on the bed once more.

   I smiled and said, “You should probably sleep first. The library opens somewhat early.”

   She smiled back. “I shall take note. Thank you so much.”

   I told her to sleep tight. I saw her eyes closing. I did the same to mine.

   Then, the visions came. I saw her searching for books inside a huge room that welcomed its guests with the gigantic bookshelves that withheld gigantic books.  I saw a boy, Alberta’s age, who carried a stack of these gigantic books. The boy had a somewhat dark complexion that went along with his curly dark hair. Nevertheless, he remained to look suave. He jotted up as soon as he saw her. She and the library boy interacted.

   “Uhmm, paumanhin po. Babae po ba ‘ho kayo?”

   “Oo! Babae ako. At kailangan ko ng tulong dito.”

   “Señora, parang naliligaw po kayo nang landas. Ang boutique ay na sa—”

   “Señor, kung ang boutique na ‘yun ay hindi para sa teleskopo, hindi po ako interesado.”

   And they continued to talk. Eventually, the library boy agreed to help her.

   “Bihira na akong makakita ng tao sa silid-aklatan. Maslalo na ang mga babae.”

   “Hindi rin kasi kami puwede”

   “Alam ko. Pero masaya naman din makakita ng bago’t ilegal na mukha dito sa librarya.”

   “Salamat.”

   “Ay, oo nga. Bago kita i-rekord dito, anong gusto mo’ng pseudonym?”

   “Hmmm… well, dahil pangalan ko ay Alberta, puwede rin namang Alberto Magno? Parang si Albert Magnus.”

   “Ang nag-aagham? Kaya pala interesado ka talaga sa mga ganitong bagay, ano?”

   “Inilikha ako ng Diyos nang ganito.”

   “May mga paborito talaga ang Diyos.”

   “Ano ulit pangalan mo, señor?”

   “Jose.”

   “Paborito ka rin ng Diyos, Señor Jose.”

   I wake up and saw Alberta carrying a saddlebag full of books. “Hey!” I greeted. I jotted up and smiled.  I asked, “Did you get those from the library?”

   She nodded. “Yeah! The library is HUGE! I almost got lost… if it weren’t for Jose.”

   I shrugged. “Yeah. Men can be useful like that sometimes.”

   Alberta sighed before dumping herself on her bed. “Something inside me feels like I could never achieve my dreams, no matter how much I want it.”

   I shrug, “Well, you could always try. If nobody believes in us, it’s fitting that we’re the only ones that believe in ourselves, right?”

   A knock is heard from the door. She and I turned to figure out who it was. I heard Donya Sinestrella say, “My dear, get dressed for Senor Padrino’s party tonight! Come on! It’ll be fun!”

   Don Sinestrella chimed in as well. “Yes, darling! Why you might even meet a new suitor!”

   Alberta gasps. “Oh no! Senor Patricio’s party! I keep on forgetting!”

   I vanish to give her some space.

   The visions came back. It was faster this time. I saw a grand ballroom with people dancing in their elegant outfits. I saw Alberta dancing along with a young lad, who was not Jose. The lad was, in fact, the opposite. The lad had modish clothes that reflected what wealth he has in store for him. His name was Salazar Patricio. He had a white complexion and brown hair, very much in contrast with Jose’s rugged looks. But what contrasted the most was how much worse his name sounded from Jose’s. Seriously! It’s so bad! I would pity anyone named Salazar.

   In the middle of everyone dancing, Salazar led Alberta to a big room that had bookshelves as its walls. Alberta gleefully twirled around the library. He handed a manuscript to Alberta, which Alberta stared at in awe. I heard the lad say,

   “My colleagues and I need more manpower to finish our physics paper. I’ll put your name on it too! Imagine — you’ll be the first woman to ever be part in a scientific inquiry. My God! You’ll make history!”

   Alberta smiled at the paper and hugged him. “Thank you so much, Salazar!”

   Alberta and Salazar were seen in the library — each taking turns to write on the parchments, solving equations, referencing books and other sources — some of which, if I deduced correctly, were borrowed from the Magnus Library.

   The scene changed now. Alberta entered the Magnus library. Jose greeted her from the counter. That then a rolling sound was heard. Alberta quickly hid behind the counter. From there, she saw a man with a cart full of manuscripts. The man put all these manuscripts down. Alberta and Jose waited for the man to leave before scurrying through the manuscripts. Alberta stopped to stare at one particular manuscript. Her eyes filled with tears as she gave the manuscript to Jose before crying on his chest.

   Jose looks at her. “Nasaan pangalan mo?”

   “H-Hindi ko alam.”

   I saw Alberta crying.

   “‘Bat mo pa ako tinulungan?” Alberta asked her friend.

   “Kasi alam ko kaya mo.”

   Alberta wiped her tears. She smiled at Jose. “I’m going to confront him.”

   “Mag-ingat ka.”

The scene changed the second time around. She was at Salazar’s Library. Salazar and his friends were already in the scene when Alberta entered. Salazar opened his arms to greet Alberta but was in shock when Alberta slammed the manuscript on his chest. She demanded:

   “Where’s my name?”

   “My dear, that’s MY work.”

   “But I helped you, didn’t I?”

   “Do you really think that you contributing will earn you credit in this paper!? You’re a woman! So don’t dream too much, my dear.”

   Alberta glares at him one last time, a tear rolling down from her eyes. She stormed out of the library, gripping the manuscript.

#Girl in the mirror

[ebhenah]

Shore Leave Ch 1

The Plan (Klance fic set between the end of s4 and start of s5)

Lance's head appeared in the doorway, "hey Pidge- Hunk around?"

Pidge's big brown eyes blinked at him for a moment, almost visibly switching gears from whatever coding crisis that was so interesting to the real world. One thin finger pushed the large round glasses back into place. "Umm... gone to grab something for us to eat. He'll be back in a few- you can wait in here. I need to give this code a chance to compile anyway. Going OLD SCHOOL with this one."

"What are you working on, anyway?" Lance asked, dropping onto the bed bonelessly.

"A favor for Keith, actually. Basically, data nodes for the Blades to use to compartmentalize information. I am building the software out of archaic earth coding language. The idea is that they'll be so low tech that they'll be dismissed by the Galra as unimportant and obsolete. It's kind of fun."

"Riiiiight... fun," Lance echoed dryly. "We seriously need to get you out more if THIS has become your idea of fun."

Pidge scowled, "just because I'm not driven by my hormones like SOME people doesn't mean I don't know how to have fun."

"Oh no- I get that," he held his hands up in mock surrender, Pidge was the smallest of them, but the young Paladin was still not someone to mess with. Lance knew from experience just how effectively that brilliance translated to prank-design when Pidge put a mind to it. "I just think we are all going a bit stir crazy, that's all. I wish we could, like, have a real night out- a few drinks, maybe some dancing, or pool- hell, I would even be willing to play DARTS."

"Darts?" Hunk echoed. He was carrying a tray that was loaded down with assorted dishes filled with his latest experiments in alien cuisine. "You want to play darts? We can, you know- I made a board and everything. Told Allura it was good for perfecting hand-eye coordination and a vital part of training. She gave me an old store room to set it up in."

Lance sighed, "out of all that I said, the thing you focus on is the darts?! You're killing me here guys! We used to have FUN. Real fun. Remember fun? The kind where no one was trying to kill us?"

"I remember," Hunk gushed. "I remember the time we made homebrew in the Garrison dorms and had that office chair derby with the fifth floor cadets!"

"I wasn't there for that," Pidge pointed out mildly.

"Oh man! That was a BLAST!" Lance chimed in, "that was the night I hooked up with... oh... oh.. what's her name? The one with the red hair and freckles. Uh, uh, um... Lois? No. Linda? No. LORI! That was her name! Lori Samser-mo-si-sian? I am so bad with names. The engineering major."

Pidge blinked, "do you mean LaurELL Sands?"

Lance clapped his hands together triumphantly, "Yes! That's her! Laurell Sands!"

"You hooked up with Laurell Sands?" Pidge asked skeptically.

"Yes," he answered with a nod, accepting the mug of steaming... something Hunk handed him. His eyebrows waggled, "yes, I did."

Pidge turned to Hunk, "he hooked up with Laurell Sands? You witnessed this?"

Hunk stopped, "uhhhh... yeah... yeah I think I did."

"Define 'hooked up', Lance," Pidge pressed.

"What do you mean 'define hooked up'? Hooked up, hooked up. There was some chatting, some dancing, a little romancing... Whhhhy?"

"Nothing. Nothing... Just... I didn't think you'd be her type, that's all," Pidge answered a little too quickly.

Lance's eyes narrowed and he leaned in towards the Green Paladin suspiciously, "what's that supposed to mean?"

"It's just.. umm... she used to date Matt. Like, before the mission. So... I thought she was more into... um... bookish guys, I guess?"

"You mean smart. You are saying bookish, but you MEAN that she likes smart guys and you don't think I am smart. Right? I am SMART!" he argued.

"Of course you are smart," Hunk interjected, literally stepping between the two of them. "Pidge knows you are smart, Lance. Besides it was just a hook-up, from like AGES ago, not worth arguing about."

"Yeah," Pidge agreed, "it's just weird for me when I am reminded of what a small world the Galaxy Garrison could be. Man, I haven't thought about her in ages!"

"Fine," Lance grumbled, "not the point anyway. The POINT, my friends, is that we need a bit of good, old fashioned R&R- like like the old days."

"Yeah!" Hunk enthused, "like the old days!"

"I was never there for that stuff," Pidge pointed out softly.

"Beers!" Lance said loudly.

"Man, I miss beer," Hunk sighed.

"Music!" Lance demanded.

"Oh yeah. Earth music is so great," nodded Hunk sagely.

"Partying! With GIRLS!" the slender Cuban nearly yelled.

"Again, I have never done any of this stuff with you guys," Pidge said mildly.

"What? Oh. My. God! Pidge! You are right! I don't think I have ever seen you drunk!" His eyes narrowed again and he leaned in so close it made Pidge squawk and nearly fall over backwards, "have you ever even BEEN drunk?"

Pidge's cheeks colored with indignation, "I've been drunk!"

One of Lance's eyebrows ratcheted upwards, "I. Don't. Believe. You." He sprung upright, "ok! I have decided- we are finding booze. We are finding some way to play our music from home, LOUD. We are getting drunk together and letting loose. I don't care if it IS just us. We are having a party. A real party."

"Shiro won't like that," Hunk said reasonably.

"Well, then," countered Lance, "we are just going to have to make sure Shiro doesn't find out. C'mon, bud. We made homebrew and staged furniture Olympics in the dorms back at the Garrison Grounds without getting busted. There were WAY more people who could have busted us back then! We can DO this!"

"So... Your plan is... a SECRET party?" Pidge queried, "with alcohol and music and just the three of us?"

"Yes!" Lance crowed.

"Sad." Pidge answered, "that is SAD, Lance. That's not a party. That's... nothing. There isn't even a word for that."

"You, my friends," Hunk turned on Pidge, "have no vision! We are still adding new people to the coalition. We might not be doing the 'Voltron Show' anymore... but we still need to make appearances every now and then. So, next time we are on planet, for a showcase of Voltron's abilities..."

"The razzle dazzle!" Lance chimed in, flashing a smile and finger guns.

"The razzle dazzle," Hunk corrected with a nod, " after the official stuff, we will find a bar, somewhere, and have some good, old fashioned SHORE LEAVE. Deal?"

"Yes! My MAN!" Lance leapt onto his friend, pounding his back, "you are a genius! Shore leave! THAT's what I am talking about!"

Pidge laughed, "right, fine. Shore leave it is. This could be interesting!"

Hunk chuckled, pulling Pidge into a group hug, "this is gonna be GREAT!"

#shoreleave voltron vld klance paladins voltronkeith voltonlance keithkogane lancemcclain bisexuallance gaykeith slowburn