#even if people giving each other stuff like equal attention is my ideal

[connectedspace]

as fun as that was, and i would never stop doing fun gift art for the world

its disheartening, and hurts, to try and get engagement from people. to struggle to get asks for weeks. and i know im not the most active blogger, but as soon as i offer free art, i get swamped with asks. where is that beforehand? i dont know what to say entirely, it just makes me depressed. the fact that people are so quick to jump on my ask memes but wont talk to me or this blog otherwise. i dont know what to do

I don’t want to tell anyone that it’s bad to ask for it, or that it’s bad to receive it. Because that’s not what I’m trying to say. But it just sucks to get low engagement and people only interact with you to receive art, often without giving you anything in some way. It’s fine if it happens sometimes, but it’s exhausting when it’s repeated. It makes you feel like people only want you for free gifts that you put time and effort into but won’t give you the same effort

I guess I’d just like to encourage everyone to send regular asks to each other, even if it’s on anon. That’s all I’d want to see not even just for myself but mostly for others

#again I know I’m not super active or have the most posts #but I’ve had this blog for 3 years and have been in the community since 2018 #again it was really fun but considering that I barely get anything for my regular Mundays and have to make regular ask calls #I guess I’m not really asking for much #even if people giving each other stuff like equal attention is my ideal #but I suppose if this trend keeps continuing and I post less stuff like the drawing meme #you’ll know why #I have an ask answer ready to post tomorrow too #my life has just been crazy but Khaos has always had such a chill blog to update #im quite shy and I know I’m not very outgoing but I’ve been around for 5+ years and this just keeps happening #I’m not blaming anyone either or anything this isn’t targeted or whatever #but I’m just already dealing with stuff and I wanted to say something finally #I don’t like making posts like this but I guess I deserve to be able to for once #this is also not the first time it’s happened it happens with a lot of memes I post that are art related so yknow

[lanaevyssmoved]

👀 what if I was interested in that Gale poly rant but in a positive way?

LKSJFDLKFJGDFG i can't use the rant on you then because it would be too clinical and i would angry swear sometimes probably

but honestly like. first we need to talk about halsin . wait first we need to talk about poly as a sexuality

i'm going to try and not turn this into a massive character analysis or analysis of queer identity in media etc so i will attempt to retain my humour throughout to ground me

people who are poly tend to sit on either side of a coin. poly is a preferred state of relationship, or just a state of relationship they enjoy, and they can do just fine with monogamy, and everything is chill - ultimate relaxed person mode. the other side is the group of poly individuals who view poly as important to them and their sexual identity as being straight or gay or bisexual or pansexual or any other identity. for them it is part of the queer umbrella and it is fundamental to their being, they can't turn it off, they can't be ok with monogamy, this is who they are.

for reference, halsin is the latter. poly is part of his sexual identity.

halsins poly rep is, spoken from a poly person, ok. it is ok. it's not good, it's not bad. it's mostly the stuff around halsin i don't like. (and i am not going to talk about his drow situation, for reference, because that shit goes beyond poly rep.) making halsin token poly, for lack of a better word, would realistically be fine in most situations, in fact i've talked with aisling about this and i would have preferred they made him poly with no poly options in the game to go with him over what we got - we can't forget he was added late, he isn't as fleshed out, he feels a bit misplaced sometimes, and his poly goes hand in hand with that. he could have existed as a poly character, which nearly all wood elves are in canon, without shoving in some poly options for him with existing companions who would explore that with anyone else despite the game allowing you to romance those companions with the other companions if you play as them? and they flirt with each other in banter quite regularly? i don't know. it feels very like, o shit we gotta make him poly he's a wood elf! and he's a druid! but we have no options for him! who are the easiest to add without it feeling odd??? like idk. it doesn't feel great from a poly pov, and if you enjoy like halsin x shart x tav or halsin x astarion x tav that's totally cool - i am not dismissing these at all because i don't fucking care about canon so even if it didn't exist in canon in a way i don't really like, i would still be cool with it.

our poly rep leaves much to be desired, tldr.

i am happy it exists, however. and my hope is that one day in the future when we have an rpg where every romance option is bisexual or pansexual that they are also poly. that is my ultimate ideal for the future of these situations in gaming. i know some people are uncomfortable with poly, but that's why we refer to what i first said. you can have characters like halsin where it is fundamental to their being - they will never be monogamous, you cannot change them. but you can also have individuals who are cool with monogamy if you're not comfortable with polyamory. i want characters who will date each other on their own, and you can join the polycule, or get involved with just one of them. i want devs to be open minded and not give us a token polyamorous character and instead explore it in better ways.

i have known many poly people, i've dated poly people of both sides of the coin, i've been involved with people who are married to someone they don't live with but have nesting partners (a partner they live with who isn't their spouse) and multiple partners on the side and follow the hierarchy side of poly. my ex helped me understand poly as a sexuality and they also didn't subscribe to poly hierarchy and all their partners would be equal. poly is an expansive identity and it deserves the attention and respect other queer identities do.

a poly person creating poly ships and poly situationships with a character or characters who are confirmed monogamous is the same to me as a gay person creating gay ships and gay situationships with a character or characters who are confirmed straight. and that might be divisive, because many people, including queer people are not ready for or not comfortable with polyamory yet in their spaces. now i can be respectful of people who have trauma around polyamory because they were involved with someone who used it as a weapon - usually done by someone who isn't actually poly. but we as poly people deserve to take up space, we deserve to be in your media, we deserve respect, we deserve to be represented well.

and if video game devs aren't going to do that for me, you bet your ass i'm gonna do it for myself. no one can take that power for me.

what exists in my game doesn't have to mean shit for yours - it doesn't exist in yours. it is a thing i do for me to make me happy. if anyone gets upset about that they need to go outside.

please don't cast a witches curse on me

i might come back to edit this ... i haven't proof read it..... this was just screaming <3 i'm too tired to read my own words back

#fray.txt #ask #Anonymous #HEY I SAID I WOULD TRY TO KEEP MY HUMOUR UP AND SHIT BUT #I FAILED!!!!!! #I GOT SERIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #cannot quell my passions #if there is one thing my ex did for me that was good #it was help me see all sides of poly and the beauty of it #to love so openly and freely and willingly #it is so beautiful #and you bet your sweet ass i'm gonna throw that on my clown with all my might #because they deserve to love so easily #and gale accepts them for who they are #AND YOU BET YOUR ASS I DON'T GIVE A SHIT IF SOMEONE DON'T LIKE THAT !!!!!!!!!!! #LEARN TO LOVE LOVE #AND LEARN TO STAY IN UR LANE!!!!!!!!!!!! #hehe........ i care about this topic <3

[stalkist]

while i work on replies, here is an updated list of things i'd love to explore. will contain dark, triggering, and t/aboo topics. please send me a message if you're interested or reply to this post and i'll hit you up.

as much as i love sweet subs, i am in need of crazy little bitches to fall in love / become infatuated w one of my muses. ideally they would be down for s.talking, b.lackmailing, c.oercion, t.hreatening, breaking and entering, any / all of that fun stuff. and my muse can enjoy it and encourage the crazy, or they can be alarmed by it but thinks by relenting and just giving her what she wants, she'll go away, but of course that just makes her worse.

d.ubcon and n.oncon stuff but more sneaky and calculated ??? like one of them saying they're using protection but then doesn't, or the co.ndom breaks and he knows but doesn't say anything and keeps going. or more outright gross stuff like "accidentally" pushing into the wrong hole but coercing her to keep going because it feels good for him, or the good ol' getting stuck / being bound and somebody close to them takes advantage to get what they want. just "small" things that are equally as violating of trust but can be gaslit and manipulated away.

anal ! first time anal !! anal only !!!

b.dsm & b.ondage dynamics.

m / f / m 3somes or multiple males x one female g.angbangs.

e.xhibitionism and / or v.oyeurism. getting f.ucked at a concert / in a club / at a party with people watching ( either fucked by their partner, or their partner encouraging them to fuck someone else while they watch and enjoy the show ). creepy weirdo at a motel spying and getting off to the person / couple in the room next door. relatives / step - relatives in the same house and either one shows off their body and entices the other by constantly teasing / getting them worked up, or one of them develops a sick crush on the other and sneakily watches them get undressed, eavesdrops and gets off to their intimate conversations, could maybe even creep into their room when they're asleep and cop a feel, or install a secret camera if we're being extra nasty.

s.omno s.omno s.omno !!!

p.regnancy. make my muses dads pls.

public g.roping / f.ucking, especially w strangers. like someone getting f.ondled on public transport by some p.erv, or being at a busy concert / event and they get boxed in and pressed up against by a big stranger and nobody else is even paying attention while they get g.roped / f.ucked.

organised crime / mafia things but extra dark. forced marriages. power differences. t.hreatening and s.talking. v.iolence ( either w each other or against other ppl but one of them is forced to witness it ). k.idnapping. t.rafficking. d.rugs. w.eapon p.lay. d.ubcon / n.oncon. b.reeding. family problems. p/rostitution. b.imbofication. d.omestication. any of them pls.

on the note of mafia plots, an infamous crime king that has a beloved angelic daughter that is the apple of his eye and he keeps her under strict lock and key to maintain her innocence. and then his much younger lover that lives with them, same age as his daughter ( maybe even looks a lot like her ) that he openly and brazenly treats like his p.ersonal property / t.oy / c.umdump on a daily basis because he has to take all his nasty frustrations out on someone :-)) just think it would be neat to have those contradicting dynamics at play and all happening under one roof.

don't judge me but l.actation / b.reast p.umping ( w or without l.actation ) / h.ucow stuff maybe ???

virile younger man x hot needy m.ilf dynamics.

and lastly but not least, d.eepthroating / t.hroatfucking !! can include g.agging, c.hoking, s.pitting, r.estraints, throat b.ulging, f.acials, c.um down throat, maybe even w.atersports if ur feeling extra nasty !!!

as always, any of these can be combined ! and t.aboo / i.ncest / s.tepcest connections always welcomed.

#indie kink rp #indie smut rp #plots.

[yuikomorii]

You’re one of the many people that ship Ayato and Yui but I really wanna know a reason!To me Ayato is always mean to her and the whole bodyshaming stuff is disgusting.I love your page but I don’t get the hype this couple gets…They’re together everywhere and the other vampires get nothing!Why did Rejet do this?They must all be equal!!

//I do understand your frustration because if I had another fav DL ship,I would have wanted them to have plenty of official art and merch as well.

It’s pretty obvious that Ayayui is the main couple but that doesn’t make the other pairs bad .They are all official in their own universe and there are some illustrations featuring Yui and other Diaboys too. Almost all otome games have a main guy, and that character is literally everywhere with the heroine since that’s what the company tries and wants to promote.

Now…taking account that you asked,I will write down some reasons why I ship Ayayui:

1. They seem to have the most natural interactions and best chemistry(from my point of view). I know Ayato was mean to her at first but he actually didn’t want to make her hate him or anything like that. The nickname “Chichinashi” simply has amusement purposes and I, as a flat girl, don’t find it offensive and it actually sounds funny to me?

All Diaboys have body shamed Yui throughout their routes,they have called her flat,heavy and ugly but it’s a game about sadistic vampires, you can’t expect them to be sweet and soft when they’ve been through so much trauma. I am aware that some girls might get insecure over that nickname but you don’t have to take it seriously, it’s pure fiction. Yes, he has a preference towards girls with bigger chests due to his mother’s figure but it’s not like he wouldn’t date a flat girl.

I love the way they both tease each other or start talking smoothly,I’ve never seen this side of Yui in other routes xD (check Ayato’s MB vampire ending in order to see Yui turning into the biggest smooth talker)

2.They are different yet alike! Yui is way nicer and more patient than him but one thing’s for sure, they share the same amount of brain cells JSHSJ I’m not saying this in a mean way though, it’s just that both of them are viewed as the dumbest characters, even if they do have their moment of brightness! It’s true that they can’t be labelled as the smartest characters either but they’re not as stupid as people make them look like. Ayato is simply impulsive and Yui acts before thinking but their brains work really well in certain situations.

On top of that plenty of times they think alike and they’re so funny together! Especially in the manga, where their faces are very memeable.

3.They do share kind of a similar past. As I said in one of my previous posts, Yui had a happy childhood unlike Ayato but both of them were isolated and did things only in order to please their parent. Both of them also lack love and attention since Seiji was almost never home and Yui remained all alone even on Christmas Day and well… you already know what happened between Ayato and Cordelia.

4.Ayato needs a person like Yui and Yui needs a person like Ayato. In MB it was revealed that Yui likes having silly conversations, which make no sense,with her lover because according to her,those fill her heart with joy.She also likes someone who could protect her and make her laugh. And well…Ayato needs someone compassionate, who’s able to understand and accept him for who he is, without faking his toughness.

5.They do look really good together! From my point of view Yui looks good with every Diaboy but idk there’s something really charismatic about Ayayui.I have no clue if it’s the fact that they give off that young couple vibe,the ideal height difference or the similar face shape but just look at them, they’re so aesthetically pleasing together! (^⸝⸝> ·̫ <⸝⸝ ^)

Bonus: She drools, he snores—perfect combo :>

#yui komori #ayato sakamaki #diabolik lovers #Ayato x yui #ayayui #admin

[your-astro-mami]

hiii~ in synastry, what overlays do you think are the most complex? not bad but maybe kind of uncomfortable and complicated? also, I know that squares and oppositions (sometimes conjunctions) are where the relationship needs to work on more or generally the hardships, in your opinion though, what are some aspects that are very complicated and need a 'comfortable' overlay or aspects to workout? I love those synastry posts you do on celeb couples, it helps knowing that in every relationship there's always something to work on :)

The oppositions are easier to handle, because compromise is achieved easily, while it square aspects both people hold their ground and refuse to change.

Any of the aspects listed here aren’t terrible on their own, there is always something good to compensate the bad. The willingness to be patient and communicate with the other person in general solve most problems.

Aspects, placements that can be bad in synastry:

Sun square Mercury, Mercury square Mercury.  No matter how strong the attraction is, communication may be very bad, they may not even try to understand each other, their minds will be in another place. If both people try to be patient and are genuinely interested in what the other person has to say and their opinions, it won’t be that terrible. 

Mercury square Mars can cause verbal abuse(in the worst scenario), fights, as they can provoke each other and bring out their worst sides in an argument. Mercury annoys and teases Mars with their words, they provoke them, they nag them, Mars gets angry and breaks stuff. A dramatic example, but this is the type of situation I can imagine. Possibly some yelling.

Squares between Moon-Sun, Moon-Mercury, Moon-Mars, Moon-Venus.

One may not know how to handle the Moon person’s emotions. Sun woudn’t understand them, they may not seem rational to them, like “how can those things upset you?”. Mercury wouldn’t know how to advise them, they may mock them for being childish, upset about things that aren’t that important. A Saturn person may be similar, but they will be tougher on the Moon person like “how can you give up so easily and get upset by such bul****?”. Venus may not know how to satisfy Moon’s emotions with their love, they may feel helpless and they may deem Moon as ungrateful, because no matter what they do, the Moon person’s feelings hardly change. Mars may get very frustrated when they see the Moon person upset. They may also not be able to bring the physical comfort on intimacy connection the Moon person needs. 

Venus square Saturn

There can be circumstances that may prevent them from commitment, they may not be ready for this relationship, they may have other priorities. “Right person, wrong time” kind of situation.

Venus square Uranus.

Uranus person may seek their independence and not be ready for a stable relationship. The relationship can have ups and downs, it can be a sign of an on-off relationship, as well as distance. Other factors that bring chaos into the relationship. 

Venus square Pluto

Stealing this from my other post:

Suprisingly, I think here both people have equal power. Venus wants attention, she may seek it from others, Pluto’s jealousy will be triggered. Venus will enjoy it, she will take it as a compliment. Pluto will want to overpower Venus, but they won’t be able to. There can be strong attracton, they will find it hard to move on from each other, even though the relationship may turn into a battlefield. 

What do I mean when I say battlefield? With Mars squares I see it as primal anger, frustration with the other person, in worst cases in can get verbal and physical. Pluto square are mind games, power, Game of Thrones (lol with this example). I think of Pluto as Mars’s more intelligent and calculated older brother. He is vengeful and the anger doesn’t pass fast. 

Pluto, no matter which planet in the other person’s chart it squares, wants to control the other person like a marionette. 

It can bring insane attraction, chemistry. Even if the Pluto isn’t that kind of person, there is just something in the square aspect that makes them. 

With Sun, Moon, Mercury square Pluto, the other person may feel invaded, Pluto will want to discover more about them, analyze them deeper and deeper, their soul may feel exposed, they can feel vulnerable, uncomfortable.

Mars square Pluto, Mars square Uranus, Pluto square Uranus:

Mars-Pluto: You might make each other mad on another level. Mars will be primal with their anger, Pluto will be vengeful, they won’t forget any of Mars’s actions and will try to fight back in the worst ways.

Mars-Uranus: Unstable anger, unexpected fights. Uranus may be like a child that is trying to annoy their parent, because they know it will bring a reaction. Uranus is a daredevil in this situation.

Pluto-Uranus: Obsessive Pluto wants to put Uranus in their place, keep them in a cage, while Uranus fights everything that prevents them from doing what they want. It can get ugly. Like a man with a gun and a wild animal that can attack you or run away, you may never know what to expect from this scenario.

Sun, Mercury, Venus, Mars square Neptune.

A general description of someone’s planet squaring the other person’s Neptune: Neptune may view the other person as ideal despite their imperfections and often have a false idea of them. They can also have hopes and expectations that won’t be met. 

Mercury-Neptune: Mercury can be as manipulative as they want, tell as many lies as they want because they know Neptune is vulnerable and will trust them. 

Mars square Neptune: They can be prone to doing bad things together, substance abuse for example. No one judges anyone here, you can do whatever you weren’t allowed to do, hedonism at its fulled. There may be no control, no realization that something is wrong. 

Saturn square Sun, Mercury, Mars.

Saturn may view the other person as immature, lacking ambition, they may refuse to rely on them or trust them with important decisions.

Mars in the other person’s 4th or 7th:

Mars in 4th: there can be domestic fights.

Mars in 7th: Bringing your own anger and frustrations onto the other person, trying to be in control of everything in the relationship.

Pluto in any of the other person’s houses can be obsessed, controlling over that part of the other person’s life.

Juno square Saturn, Sun, Venus:

Juno may not see the other person as someone they’d want to have as a long-term partner. 

Saturn may not be comitted long-term to Juno. They may not be ready for marriage.

Juno square Chiron

Past trauma will be a topic in the relationship, healing may be hard to do.

#astrology #zodiac signs #synastry #synastry reading #venus square pluto #mars in 4th #mars in 7th #pluto #juno square saturn #sun square saturn #venus square uranus #venus square saturn #sun square mercury #mercury square mercury #mars square pluto #mars square uranus #mars square neptune

[demonslayedher]

Hello! I don't know if you've been asked about this before but I love your analysis and reflections and I'd love to know all your thoughts about Zennezu if you don't mind 👀⚡🎀 Thanks so much for this blog!! 😊💝

Thank you again for your patience, as well as your comments on my fics and stuff in the meantime (even on Bird Fic, kya~ thank you <3). All my thoughts, hmmmmn…. Well, clearly I am a fluffy ZenNezu shipper and ship-content creator now, but I sure didn’t start that way. This may be long and rambling and mixed between analysis and personal taste. (Actually, it turned into almost 4000 words.)

So. First a little background. I usually am not much of a shipper. The very few OTPs I have all ended in horrific tragedy, and when romance is a big focus of something I’m otherwise enjoying I usually end up not paying much attention to it in favor of all the other elements I like. This is so much more the case when you can tell they’re going to wind up happily ever after. So what happened to make me so soft and fuzzy about the Kimetsu ships, when I otherwise usually don’t have an appetite for happy fluffy romantic endings?

Three major factors: 1. I’m obsessed. 2. I love these characters and want to see anything and everything about them. 3. Romance wasn’t actually a big element at all in canon, so it left me with an appetite and curiosity for it.

Even though I figured from long ago that ZenNezu would be end game, initially I was somewhere between indifferent and put-off. As much as I love Zenitsu, and I acknowledge that Ufotable the added the “run around and chase Nezuko” bit and removed the part with Zenitsu adoringly talking to Nezuko through her box, and as much as he can be defended for being lonely rather a pervert, the fact still stands that his level of appreciation for girls makes the characters around him uncomfortable. His most cringe-worthy lines at the Butterfly Mansion are all straight from the manga, and even though he was easily one of my favorite characters by the end of my initial watch of the series, I was very put off by his “girls are all queens” surface-level comments and more disturbing pleasure he took in the presence of girls (especially when he could physically interact with them), not to mention his pathetic introduction bothering a complete stranger and displaying that he doesn’t actually take girls’ feelings into consideration.

All this made me inwardly groan, feeling bad for Nezuko, figuring they were going to wind up together because she’s a saint who can find the patience to deal with someone like that, as he clearly wasn’t going to be desirable to any of the rest of the female cast. Enjoying the series well enough despite this, it didn’t bother me terribly much, pairings happen, whatever, I have a history of ignoring them. But one day, well and deep into caring about this whole cast like they’re all my children, I realized something. Isn’t… isn’t it cute how they both get their strength from taking naps? W-wouldn’t it be cute to see them innocently take naps together? Naps to protect each other? Oh. Oh-h-h-h-h. Oh dear. Oh no, it’s cute. Oh no. OH NO.

And that was how my warming up to this pairing started, it very quickly grew into “I love these children and I want them to be happy, being with Nezuko will make Zenitsu very, very happy, I love seeing him happy, happy Zenitsu” but was still a little reserved about Nezuko. Zenitsu was going to make her happy, right? It wasn’t just going to be a case of Nezuko having gotten fond of him over the course of everything they’ve been though, he is actually going to be her taste and make her heart go “kyun” right? Oh Nezuko, oh saintly Nezuko…

Let’s take a moment to pause here and think chronologically, though, as well as analyze their personalities and tastes. Neither of them are particularly picky, we can start there. Aside from fussy busy-bodies like Aoi, as long as it’s a girl, any girl is Zenitsu’s type. He’s desperate, and he’s painted the whole of girl-kind in pretty similar, not always realistic rosy colors. Even though he’s been used and abused by so many girls in his past, it’s his desire to believe that each new one he meets will fit that rosy imaginary color he paints over them that he chooses to let himself be duped, because he really is that lonely. I’ll give him that, sure, he’s a healthy young man with an interest in physical touch, but his dream in Mugen Ressha gives a good indication of what he’s really looking for: companionship, someone who likes spending time with him, someone who will find him useful and believe in him and look to him for protection, someone who likes him enough to spare him the physical intimacy of simply holding his hand. This is all an extension of what Zenitsu desires as whole, hoping he can better himself enough to be reliable and valued in general. Picturing it in the form of a significant other is one very vivid way to focus all those feelings, resulting in that rosy ideal which Zenitsu probably knows in his heart of hearts is too good to be true. That’s why he probably doesn’t think he’s ever going to find it, and therefore why he’s all over any slightest chance of attaining it.

My gosh, if being abandoned over and over isn’t enough, the fact that none of the girls he dated in the past were ever willing to even hold his hand hurts so much.

Nezuko, though, grew up in a secure family with a good relationship to observe between her parents. She probably always envisioned growing up to be like her mother, the quintessential “good wife, wise mother” (a phrase coined later on in the Taisho period to idealize the traditional roles of a woman). She cooks and cleans and sews and the first fanbook even tells us she was good at using an abacus, so she can handle family finances like a pro. Her traditional values probably made her tastes pretty standard, hoping for a reliable protector, but also someone who might be as kind as her father and her brother. But as for what makes her heart go doki-doki? The extra comic at the end of volume 3 tells us that she does long since have a type, it’s a person who’s like a Hisha.

Hisha: a chess/Shougi piece that can move an unlimited number of spaces in horizontal and vertical directions, and is crowned a dragon when it enters enemy territory.

So, yes, this is the part where we all smile and point at Gotouge and say, “I see what you did there, Wani-sensei.”

I find this reassuring; it tells me that Nezuko can find her heart squeezed at how cool Zenitsu is instead of just coming around and liking him because she was flattered by his affection and learned to see how nice he is and stuff. There are plenty of nice Demon Slayers who are strong and cool protectors, but that ZING that Zenitsu has (when he’s asleep) is something that can make her heart race. I’m all for this. I hinge so much of my ZenNezu feelings on this Hisha comment.

The second fanbook states that Nezuko initially had trouble sorting out her memories, and because Zenitsu gave her two such different impressions, it felt like memories of two different people, but over time the memories overlapped to form one complete person. We could say that she and Zenitsu had two first meetings.

Initially, when she was in the box, her little demon heart did go doki-doki; it was the first time a boy besides her brother had protected her, so even though Oniichan is Number One in her heart for the general duration of canon, this encounter was sure to leave a flattering impression. However, when they met face to face that night, he was just some confusing dandelion yelling and screaming about weird stuff, and then he was just a confusing (and possible bothersome) dandelion wanting to hang around her and give her flowers and stuff. It’s anyone’s guess just how “there” Nezuko was at this stage, as she does seem to gain back more of her own will and thought processes over the course of the series, rather than being guided by very, very simple rules to govern her behavior.

Zenitsu feel in love at first sight, and the second fanbook tells us he asked Tanjiro about her human personality, seeing as she wasn’t fully there. He was initially doubtful that anyone so perfect as Nezuko could exist and figured Tanjiro must had been biased and therefore exaggerating, but can we blame Zenitsu for being a smidge guarded? He’s been let down a lot, after all.

We know from Taisho Secrets and side novels that Zenitsu spent a lot of time with Nezuko during their long recovery at the Butterfly Mansion. Even how much more thought we see Nezuko display in the Train arc, she probably underwent a lot of mental development in this time, and my guess is that due to how much he interacted with her, this is probably when Zenitsu went from being a strange dandelion to a strange companion. She probably focused more on the goldfish and the pretty flowers (which he did take her to see!) and any flattering mention of her brother, though. Zenitsu, I’m relieved to say, seemed to genuinely care about what would make Nezuko happy instead of selfishly assuming something like “she likes me too, she wants to marry me.” But knowing Zenitsu, he probably assumed that her willingness to spend time with him was an indication of being willing to talk marriage once she was more herself again, though.

Let’s pause here and put on our Oniichan goggles, though. Early on, Tanjiro has to insist to just about everyone that Nezuko is still her own person with her own thoughts and feelings. Being a demon has taken a lot of her freedom to act on her true nature away from her, but he knows she’s still in there and he treats her like an equal human being. He had to watch over and over as people see his sister and only think, “demon.”

And then there’s his friend Zenitsu, who looks at her and thinks, “girl. Girl! Girl. Girl. Sweet girl, adorable girl, best girl in the world.” And maybe that’s a little bothersome, but yes, someone gets it!! Someone understands! Even though Tanjiro’s initial concerns are keeping Nezuko from being bothered by unwelcome advances, as long as Zenitsu is willing to respect that Nezuko is not entirely able to speak for herself now, he seems pretty approving of Zenitsu (provided Nezuko decides she likes him back). I’d like to think there was an unspoken promise between bros on what boundaries to follow. Besides that, Tanjiro believes in Zenitsu a lot more than Zenitsu believes in himself, so Tanjiro probably wasn’t worried about the “strong protector” role a future husband should fulfil. Or at least, Tanjiro doesn’t seem concerned once he gets to know Zenitsu, he’d have rejected Zenitsu flat-out on that first meeting. Zenitsu, you are so lucky Tanjiro is so forgiving.

However, for as much as Zenitsu sees Nezuko as “GIRL!! Girl, girl, girl!”, he’s still got his rosy vision that conveniently clouds out any disturbing realities. She is, after all, a demon.

This is something Zenitsu never actually had the chance to struggle with, and I would have really liked to see him challenged by that reality a bit more. He never witnessed Nezuko’s berserker mode, nor did he ever see her struggle to keep from eating someone, he wasn’t even awake to watch her fight like a violent animal/angry toddler on the train. Had there been a scene of Zenitsu forced to face how terrifying she had potential to be, it would had really sold his commitment to Nezuko specifically, instead of only Nezuko as his most likely girlfriend candidate.

On the train, Nezuko has the good fortune of seeing another side of Zenitsu, getting one hell of a doki-doki moment. As she’s gaining more self-awareness back, it probably made those doki-dokis more complex too. While I understand there wasn’t a good opportunity to fit in the pace of the story, I love that Taisho Secret of her concerned about him before he wakes up. Instead of him just being that boy who shows her pretty things and says nice things about her Oniichan, this is when he starts becoming something a little more unique among all the people whom little demon Nezuko has bet and who have been nice to her.

In the months that follow, we don’t get much deviation from this slow development. Zenitsu’s feelings toward Nezuko don’t really change at all, but there’s another thing about this ship: neither one chose the other over anybody else. They sort of just came together, Zenitsu gets hooked on one girl at a time, but what if someone had come along with an interest in him? At what point would he had given up on Nezuko? Probably pretty quickly, if someone was serious enough about him. It wouldn’t have been a break up either, since he was still in the pursuing stages (might be more of a break-up conversation with Tanjiro, who had been tacitly supportive).

Actually, for most of the remainder of the series, the affection that Nezuko and Zenitsu build for each other is done when they’re apart, dwelling on their thoughts of each other. For Nezuko, we see this come out after the Swordsmith Village arc in her sunlit elation to see him again, and her efforts to greet him. She very clearly recognizes him and is happy to see him, a big difference compared to how she was more elated by the sight of a fishbowl before. In Zenitsu’s case, this deepening of his affections and running away with his thoughts and feelings results him declaring once and for all, this is her. He’s found her. This is the girl who he will be committed to his whole life, in his heart she is already his wife.

When human!Nezuko is gaining her memories back, her first impressions are of the boy showing her pretty things and giving her flowers, someone who probably has a crush on her, rather than thinking back to someone who she may have had a crush on. (Those cool impressions probably hit her later, I’m assuming, given the stress of the moment.) Romance is not immediately on her mind, though she does quickly recall having friendly affection for this boy for has always been so sweet to her. And Nezuko, handling his surprising level of affection gracefully, helps Zenitsu off the battlefield while he’s in terrible pain (though she probably was too, my poor girl, that fight with demon!Tanjiro was so rough). But honestly, not only is she probably too overwhelmed by everything to think much about romance, but she probably doesn’t take Zenitsu very seriously initially. She knows he’s got a tendency to overexaggerate, and it’s nice that he’s so sweet to her, but since he acts all fluffy and silly around her she probably thinks he’s not being that serious either. Furthermore, she’s got a lot of people to suddenly care about, Zenitsu has a lot to contend with for trying to get special attention. Hell, Zenitsu was probably awake and causing a racket while she was frantic with worry that comatose Giyuu might die. While she did remake Jiichan’s haori to fit Zenitsu’s later, see spent her time in the hospital mending Giyuu’s haori (Nezuko, baby, doesn’t your hand hurt though!?). While Zenitsu was swept up in happy “Nezuko is human now, we’re totally gonna get married” feels, he probably didn’t even notice that he was only one slice in a very big pie of memories that Nezuko suddenly found in her lap and had to slowly chew and digest.

So… this brings us to the extra post-canon comic in the second fanbook, which I initially did not like very much back when it came out in February. I’ve come around a lot to it, but what really hit me at first was “oh no, Nezuko really is only going to accept this marriage because she’s a saint, he’s not being desirable at all.”

But, treating it with a little more patience and sympathy for Zenitsu… he’s just gotten what he’s always wanted, of course he’s going to stop striving a bit and get blissfully carried away in it. And Nezuko, the ever sweet, isn’t going to stop him.

Some of the other commentary in the fanbook states that Zenitsu, for a time, found himself terrified of how girls could be sweet to his face while hiding their true thoughts about him. But, finding that Nezuko was not at all two-faced, he nearly “died and went to heaven” as the exaggeration goes. He doesn’t like to work hard in the first place (but does, because it will make people like Jiichan proud), so getting away with being spoiled is too big of a temptation to resist. Nezuko is sensitive to what makes the people around her happy or uncomfortable, so she never makes any request of Zenitsu. She’s so grateful to have their new little family that her happiness is everyone else’s happiness, she doesn’t really desire a heartthrob romance, even if being a wife and mother is an eventual goal. And, without being under any pressure to make someone proud, Zenitsu gets swept away and indulges.

Thank you, Tanjiro, for putting a stop to this.

He’s still rooting for Zenitsu, since this is his friend and he knows it would make his friend happy to wind up with Nezuko, but he’s setting himself up for failure, or setting Nezuko up to be cheated out on a good match at this rate (if she were to accept out of being nice). Very, very thankfully, Zenitsu responds well to pressure. By this point Nezuko has gotten so used to sweet but indulgent Zenitsu that he seems she totally accepted that his Hisha side didn’t exist anymore, if it even existed in the first place.

Good for Zenitsu asking for her response a year later (when they’d be getting to the legal marriage ages for the Taisho period anyway), he knew he still had shaping up to do to earn her affection. And Nezuko probably needed time to build some admiration for him again, since the doki-dokis were so gone. Even if he couldn’t use that super cool Thunder Breath anymore, it would probably catch her attention to see him strive again, to put effort into being manly, specifically for her. It wasn’t just the Thunder Breath that gave her doki-dokis, it was the Hisha knight-like attitude too, whether asleep and acting on his inner potential, or awake and bravely defending her based on his own goodness and faith.

I hope that in their married life, Zenitsu will retain that sort of manliness in being a provider for her, even he does get indulged a lot at home.

Now for how this plays into some of my fanwork and headcanons:

You know how I said all my OTPs were tragedies? Yeah, I love a good dose of angst. I did start writing a single-scene fic one time of injured Zenitsu desperately trying to cover Nezuko from the sun while waiting for Tanjiro to find them, and in Nezuko’s panic about the sun she starts losing her self-control over her appetite, and Zenitsu is forced to confront that the girl he loves could very easily kill him. I never finished it, though, and it was embarrassingly self-indulgent.

For my big favorite AU of a monster fanfic, I did add more ZenNezu on the massive edit, because by this point I just enjoy ZenNezu so much that I wanted more of it. But!! What I really like about working with it in this fic is that there’s a conflict: Demon!Tanjiro. In this canon divergence, Human!Nezuko and Zenitsu get to interact more than they ever did while she was a demon, and they both already have affection for each other, but the lingering fact that Tanjiro is technically their enemy gives me some tension and angst to work with.

Yes, I wrote a One Shot of Zenitsu and Nezuko as fresh new parents, but it was a bit of a dark dive into Zenitsu’s feelings of inadequacy. But domesticity comes with some inevitable fluff anyway, and likewise it felt embarrassing indulgent, and I can’t write fluff without a little bittersweetness. M…maybe the reason I’m not a shipper is because I’m easily flustered???

I’d like to think that Zenitsu got a desk job that he worked hard at because he wants to be a provider, and Nezuko does find his hard work attractive. I headcanon it was at an electric company, because hahahaha, electricity. I’d like to think he had a long career in that company (and although his colleagues know him for having a bit of an extreme personality and being obsessed with his wife, they sometimes catch glimpses of a very, very strong side of Zenitsu—like, scarily strong), and that when he’s old and retired in the Postwar Economic Miracle, he buys a fancy camera to take pictures of Nezuko (instead of “say cheese” it’s “Thunderclap and Flash!”), and he takes Nezuko to Paris because that’s the romantic thing to do. Also, I don’t like moustaches as a rule, but I totally approve of old man Zenitsu having a fluffy moustache.

World War Two, though… I’d like to think that if his job had him in the city, he was extremely reliable when it came to protecting his family in case of bombing. I’d also like to think that this was when the Kamado family moved to the city, because Nezuko was worried about Kanao and her nieces and nephews, so Zenitsu made sure they were all together. Inosuke might had taken the opposite route and taken his family to the mountains to shelter out there in the wild.

AAAAHHHH, listen to me being so self-indulgent with headcanons, I pride myself on sticking close to canon in my fanwork, I will never produce this, AAAAHHHH, I’m embarrassed~~~~I---I’m not a shipper! No! I don’t have a shipper’s bone in my body! Who needs romance, it means nothing to me, I don’t get swept up in happy fantasies about young newlywed Zenitsu and Nezuko, really I don’t, I take what canon gives me and I stick with it, I’m here for bromance and comradery and fights to the death, I—I don’t need disgusting fluffy feelings, ew, ew, no, really-----ahhh, too flustered, too flustered, too flustered, no, no, no, no, no, no, WHEN DID I BECOME A SHIPPER, nnnnnnnnhhhhjjjj

Which is all to say that Zenitsu and Nezuko as a pairing really grew on me, even though it is essentially a fluffy happy pairing that only got surface-level interaction and was never seriously challenged. It’s got some shadows lurking in there, especially diving into Zenitsu’s heart, but in general this was a slow build-up of mutual affection between two characters with pretty simple desires of their own, and most of all, a desire to see each other happy. That makes it a good comfort ship.

And they’re both are sleepyheads, hNNNGGGHHHhhhhHHHHHHHHHHH

#4000 words over the course of which I slowly begin to lose my cool #Zennezu #Zenitsu x Nezuko #Agatsuma Zenitsu #Kamado Nezuko #Kimetsu no Yaiba #kny #demon slayer #KnY Fandom Theories and Meta

[captainkurosolaire]

I challenge you to pick five Tumblrs in your social circle and tell them something you admire about their blog!

Only 5? I could probably do 500. However, that's determined by what's considered my social circle. I'm often in my head being incredibly social continuously is really a challenge of mine. I'm always actively marching to something, my flame of passion when I have it, I can do some crazy stuff but it diminishes relatively quickly, so I try to cling. But I'll up your thing and list 25 of my fave people. Ask me this same thing in a Month, I'll keep doing 25, until I do all the people. How about that? (If anyone wants to be taken off mention let me know.)

@eligos-venator

- Has one of the most intelligent and sophisticated minds, I've had the pleasure to know. Literally admire all his aesthetics, work, head-cannons, ideas. It's only a benefit that the dude shares some OC characteristics to my own (Winning features). I really enjoyed the short-thread we did. It was incomplete, mainly because of my faults. I want to actually be better to give him a proper delivery and RP worth his time, but he's incredibly worth the investment of eyes.

@mischiefandmystics

- If there was a Mount Rushmoore of writers who kept me in this endeavor, encouraged me. Sun'ra is one of them. His characterization skills, writing, the delivery and how believable his character is, they're masterful acts.

@mishivymendi

- I wouldn't be nearly tamed or as creatively freed if it wasn't for this gem. She broke my shell, I really didn't at a time ever see myself being anything really beyond a smut writer, but Mishi not only saw potential in me, but brought it out. Her stories and world's she brings to life are so majestically colorful.

@asymphonyofash

- My go-to. He's another pillar individual who saw things in me past just the obvious perception, (Probably second longest XIV RPer I know.) Taught me a lot of the lore, I shot him up and he's sort of become my stapled rock. He's right aside Sun'ra met them about the same, both took me under their wing's as I quietly observed and absorbed.

@lavender-hemlock

- We're always up and front with each other, never feeling like I couldn't say anything around, extremely rare to share that these days. Her gif's are legendary, something on my own terms I want to soar in quality. The writing she does is astounding. Character has so many mysterious pages that are quite addictive to want to explore and learn them. (Encore 20 below-cut)

@under-the-blood-moonlight - Her sweetness and artwork and overall is just a friendly presence to be around. I cherish them so much. One I can jive with more darker undertones with. She's one the most hardworking and ambitiously creative people. I'd mail them infinite hugs if could. Thanks for being you! @roxinova - I owe a lot of credit to her. She's constantly OOC and everything was nudging me too be more inclusive to things and involved heavenly. It's rare for me. I'm really horrible about that my autism sets me back socially, I constantly will be drowned by the next day and be reverted back to better off alone, that's my major crux and weakness. But her thoughtfulness, these things, aren't ever foreign to me, I do pay attention probably better than any would ever give me credit. She's a beacon model to have as a friend. @corpse-dancer - Haven't ran into many words with them, but her character, screenshot game, expressiveness, they're all a marvel to constantly see, alongside her attitude and bringing life character. I do think if I were better, we would click quite splendidly. They've recently reminded and motivated me to pick-up my daily-practice, or try too. Keep being a rockstar. @fair-fae - Few who wouldn't know who she is in this community. She's been in my opinion a huge core. I'm certain she's inspired many who weren't even RPers too try it by seeing her at the Quicksands or elsewhere, a tyme ago. Making no exception, I was even one of those. I used to be in QS every-single day and was often doing my shameless stuff. Though her presence first did show me there's a lot more. I admire her in all fields. Also appreciate her adopting me to the FC and her always thinking of others and giving events, or her aesthetics and portrayal, its the epitome of swan elegance. @thorcat - One of my most treasured friends. Been RPing with them for a longtime. There's never anything complicated between us or a rift of drama, it's just let's go and have fun. We really mesh well, I've welcomed nearly ever character and got the privilege to RP with nearly all them. They always open up envelope and help me, settle on back and just laugh. Whether used to be waking up to their characters humping my afk one or use randomly having a hardcore banter between Ufah and Captain and capturing them as a voidal pet. Memories with them isn't something I'd ever want to lose. I love ya! Never stop enjoying life for anything. @lukawarrioroflight - I get in the gutter find myself lacking motivation or writing, discouraged even... But I never have felt, I could ever do any wrong with this person, they bring the light out of me. So no matter what, how many hospital-beds I yearly visit, it's because of this rare nature, that I come back, even if they're the only one's ever to read my stuff. I would do it for them alone. @scholarlybreadbun - I've only been back recently and they've so much warmth. Their presence is the sun of inviting. The couple and posing all the shipping that stuff makes me even melt. I'm not particularly talented in regards to posing couples, but I took notice of them along time ago and set on quietly improving. Really like them for them, wouldn't ever want them to change that. Ideally look forward to be in their orbit longer so I can bask in them. @seascrapes - Been mutual with them for a while. Their aesthetics and character is all S+ level. I appreciate throwing back tagged prompts with them, one of many people I really think would be enjoyable to collab with any other seafarers. The artwork and pieces of Tal Brook, are breathtaking as ever exceptionally too, not to mention. Love your stuff matey, you're a king. @mai-takeda - Is a myth. Her absolutely sheer friendliness and her attitude, are so positive influencing, I was so thrilled to be welcomed with her and boosted by them early on. I couldn't see myself, wanting to exist where they didn't have happiness like the same she always delivers by just doing so many soft-things. Not to mention her writing... She's a whole world to throw yourself gazes

under. @zhauric - It doesn't go far either without the same breath of Mai, I could say about Zhauric. He's someone worthy to look-up and also recognize they're passionate and inviting, hoisting up literally everything. Could easily find any of their characters comrades with my own, or jiving alongside. Not to mention last XIVWrite, they slaughtered it. So enjoyable to read them all. I like how organized their blog is too, motivated me recently to redux my entire thing. @cadrenebula - They have so many diverse characters and their entire roster is vibrant and is imbued with a massive flux of life. They are able to encapsulate so many character's voices and portray them so effectively too, I really admire that greatly. They've made me think bigger and try myself recently at actually undertaking a huge roster of characters too. I've taken many breaks, but I always am so graciously returned often with them close-by and that's so incredibly sacred. I've seen a lot of people get discouraged or quit, leave, departure, etc. But they always seem to have a bigger house then they had last I took a break and I enjoy peaking in. @silvernsteel - Her artist and gif-work are awe-aspiring, there's little unrecognizable by her photo-sets and edits. They helped me even tip-toe into uncharted with giving me the recipes to try incorporating gifs into my arsenal. Plus so delightfully pleasant to actually talk with and just chill. I want nothing less in life, than the beauty they give, to be returned to them for eternity in all their glorious air. If ever needed anything of me, they've got me. @spotofmummery - We talk about passion or friendliness or overall a person to even remotely try to be, I got to include them. Their web-series and writing, screen-work, everything they do is fantastic. And that's furthered back nearly any I've met showcase or immortalize how just genuine of stellar person they are. I wish them always the energy to create and sparks. @snow-covered-moon - They've never been anything less but absolutely a diamond to know. I enjoy their character, their almost always abundant of energy that's very rub inducing. Their WoL character stories, writing, screen-shots, everyday they open up a new pandora box of joy, there's no mistaken love behind their character and that's infectiously easy to also enjoy something when the author does too. Always healthy to be around, I never feel short of vitality when they're close-by. @letheofthelost - Always cheerful or least encapsulates with me, they're a carnival ride. Just pure epic story-telling and engaging equally as passionate, constantly writing characters, not looking for anything outside of RP or anything really just being their selves, they fade all others. I love their presence, them as a person. Enjoy any character they'll ever come and throw under me, or a change of pace. Always feels easily understandable between one another. @crow-iv - Together we're an unfiltered, unstoppable wake of pure passionate writers and art. But I would say they're far ahead of me, in every regard. Already able to portray multiple characters in a scene and do such in-depth thinking, alongside even sketch or draw right afterwards or a scene. They're so talented, huge reason I set-out on giving them a Crew of cast and actual stories to-tell when I'm actually caught up and if they interested and we both have the room, I really think if further myself, I can be better and supply more for them to draw and I want to see them soar. I want to give them all my improvements and effectiveness. @trishelle - They've such a reinforcing personality and aura around them that easily bolsters anything that dares thinking they're about to be depleted so energizing. Aesthetics, characters, all them are so lively that further compliment their own mun's great welcoming presence. Worth hundreds of smiles and stars, keep high. Wish I had more time to dedicate to learning you! But I do notice and appreciate you. @fracturedfantasia - One of my people, I like to retreat and just talk my full

head-cannons with or learn, share insightful and inquisitive thoughts about philosophies and multi-culture things. Or plotting and in-general, they're a well of information and brimming ideas, they are every making of what makes a quality friend. When you can generally be open-about-all that's a real one right there. Their characters and tarot readings, I always would implore if they're offering. Thanks for giving me any-time. You're truly a treasure. @violet-warder - Never have even came to words with them yet unfortunately but didn't mean as a mutual, I haven't admired all their screenies, writing, or the aesthetics they bring of their character. Glamours is real end-game, I like all what you've done and put together. I care strictly about what represent and give, I don't want to see them ever think anyone want's them gone, they are abundantly so talented and possess things only they can deliver. I think recently came back too, and I'm glad to share, hopefully, overtime I can build you better up. Or eventually even talk, but I'm certain you are a busy-body person too, so we're relatable. @layla-grey - I have a lot of underline issues that set me back as a flawed person, but I've never not been anything but someone who's open, it's why I always do include my f-list in anything or etc. I'm not here to present this facade, and really don't care to be an image crafted by another. No one as of recently or now, am I close with as an RP partner or friend with then this stunning masterpiece. I never let-up on story-telling or anything so I can eventually use my Crew or other Characters, to give them anytime a master entertaining day, they push me to not be short-changed. IC and OOC I would devote my full attention too cause they've never shed from me. Didn't ever matter how much silence or anything, they're always around. And don't expect anything out of me or pressure. Just accept me and I equally share that sentiment, I want you to have everything in this world has to offer. ----- This is just a fraction of people, I've paid attention, noticed or know. I've been around in this Community for many years. There's a lot of things I could say about it, more probably then anyone else. But what matters to me, is recognizing the people who are here, that work hard, build others up, support, constantly are a beam. I don't need to interact with everyone, to know when someone is generally out for good. Or they're out for bad I've learned inquisitiveness longtime ago, I had to survive and remain afloat. I just go out and be me, and along the way, I get to find people like these, who help bring out the best me. I am nothing without these people, creators, writers, artist. I'm a terrible friend, horrible person, I don't have the energy to interact NEARLY with as much as I'd like with you all, If I could clone myself, or if things were different, I would drop it all to be in your orbits more if could. But, do know I appreciate you. And even if you ever do depart from this whole community or anything, know that anything you share, or give, that stuff does matter, somewhere, someone was aspired, if nothing else, by me. ONLY you can give the worlds you see and I am thankful. Do love yourself.

#I acknowledge you #Love you #Keep doing you #Asks answered #I'm the one guy who's never not going to be filtered or unspoken #To many people have left or been broken #Don't you ever think about it. #There's so many many more #But I'll recharge for next time

[elliotapricot]

My Anime 9/10′s

With probably no spoilers cuz I don’t wanna talk too long about them zzz.

1. Fullmetal Alchemist

YALL ALREADY KNOW THIS A 9/10. The only real reason this show is not a 10/10 is because it’s just a story that I’d never rewatch. There’s like 70 episodes, which is way too long for my short attention span, especially since I’ve seen it already. But yeah, by all accounts, this story is a masterpiece and is one of the only “shounen” anime’s that I genuinely enjoyed. No random sexualization. No dumb filler. All the characters have an actual purpose and role in the plot and everyone has their own morals and ideals that interact to make the story interesting. I couldn’t bring myself to really hate anyone, even the villains, because everyone was pretty well written. Also super satisfying ending that ties up everything properly without leaving me confused or upset. If you only watch a few anime in your life, Fullmetal Alchemist is pretty much a MUST WATCH to see a beautiful example of a modern classic anime as an artform. Also I should say that I really don’t like Hunter x Hunter (AN EXTREMELY CONTROVERSIAL OPINION BTW) but I love Fullmetal Alchemist so take from that what you will.

2. Parasyte: The Maxim

Same kinda shit where you already know this a 9/10 for me. It’s just a very satisfying anime that doesn’t have random sexualization or random filler or anything like that. Ending is also very good and ties up the story in a way that doesn’t leave more questions but also allows the characters to have a “life” outside of the scope of the story. I think Parasyte, because of its more horror and psychological-esque vibes, counts as a seinen and not a shounen, so for more mature audiences. I also really liked how the story was successfully adapted to modern times since the manga is from the 80′s. I have actually rewatched this anime, but what stops me from giving it a 10/10 is a few things that I found kinda “stereotypical” that I don’t wanna discuss further too much cuz it’s spoilers. I still obviously really like this anime and highly recommend it.

3. Zankyou no Terror

TBH, this anime is pretty hard for me to properly describe in a lot of words as to why I like it. The art was really pretty as well as the music, which was just straight up amazing. The cinematography of this anime is excellent as well, and a lot of scenes have that sense of being acted out by real people, as opposed to feeling completely drawn/animated. I was a teenager when this anime came out and I think a lot of the themes presented in the show really related to me. The show does kinda have some leftover questions when it ends that prevents me from rating it a 10/10, but I have such a soft spot for this anime. It’s from the same creator as Samurai Champloo and Cowboy Bebop, and although those two animes are also very good, they did not impact me as much as this anime did. Recommended for people looking for idk something that gives off Inception vibes?? In the sense that it’s much more about its themes and its message more so than the believability of the events that occur.

4. Magic Kaito 1412

THIS IS JUST A PERSONAL PREFERENCE BTW LOLOL I DON’T KNOW ANYBODY WHO’D PUT THIS AS A 9/10 ANIME. I JUST REALLY LIKED IT OKAY. It’s made by the same person who does Detective Conan but I like this a lot more because it’s a much shorter series and slightly more mature (more for teens than just straight up kids). I really liked the main guy, I think he’s funny and charismatic. He’s a pervert at times but Imma forgive that cuz of the 90′s. Idk it’s just a really fun anime that I don’t have to take seriously and can just watch and enjoy.

5. Mob Psycho 100 (season 1 AND 2)

Imma put season two as slightly better than season one. So season one would be like a 9 and season two is like a 9.25 for me. Super super funny anime and I like it SO much more than One Punch Man. I liked that there was a good balance of serious moments, but you can definitely still count this anime as a comedy. I’m typically not the type to watch “comedy” but this anime genuinely had me laughing out loud, while also crying and freaking out right alongside the main character. The main guy is super great because he’s just this shy and sweet middle schooler, and it’s really interesting watching him balance trynna have a normal life while also using his powers for good and such. Apparently the anime was decently faithful to the manga and there���s apparently enough material for a third season so I’d be pretty stoked for a season 3, but season 2 ended on a pretty good spot and was satisfying. TBH, if I had the time, I’d probably rewatch both seasons and bump it up to a 10/10.

6. Vinland Saga

This anime is just the first season of what I hopes to be a whole series that will be stay beautifully and faithfully adapted from the manga. As someone who read very far into the manga (but quit like years ago simply because I hate slow updates lol), I actually didn’t enjoy watching the anime at first. I was impatient and kept waiting for when like the “major” events would happen. So I watched like three episodes and quit. But when I had some free time, I decided to get stuck in and commit to watching the whole series and I was so pleasantly surprised with just how good it was. I was impatient but I needed to realize that there is no “filler” or like “wasted time” in the entire anime. I hadn’t read the manga in years, so so many things were only vaguely familiar but I think this helped me stay surprised and excited throughout the anime. I’m looking forward to the rest of the manga being adapted because it’s just a good Viking saga lolol. Major themes of stuff like growing up, violence vs. peace, what it means to be a good person, etc. Lots of blood and LOTS of violence like a LOT they are VIKINGS CMON but tbh not really any gore which I liked cuz gore makes me ughhhh. A very good watch and only a taste of an excellent story.

7. Demon Slayer

It’s just Demon Slayer duhhh. Of course this a 9/10 for me. I don’t wanna write much just cuz the show is so popular. Just read a REAL review of this anime somewhere else lmaoooo. Also yes I did watch the movie in theaters and yes I liked it a lot as well mmkay. I’m mad hype for season two. My S/O doesn’t like Demon Slayer as much as me, but also has Hunter x Hunter as their all time favorite anime. Do with that information what you will lolol.

8. Attack on Titan Season 3 Part 2

Same shit as Demon Slayer. Just go read someone else’s review about why it’s so good lol. Also, unlike Mob Psycho 100, I can’t include all of the seasons in this, because I have very various opinions about how good/bad the other seasons were. But this season 3 part 2, was just plain and simply amazing. While I might not like each season equally, as a whole Attack on Titan is also a modern masterpiece of storytelling. Read the manga if you can.

9. Great Pretender

I love this anime so much. Such a good and fun wild ride. The whole show is ridiculous but in a fun way. I’m a HUGE fan of heist films, so of course I absolutely enjoyed a heist anime. I’ve watched this show in sub AND dub, due to the fact that everyone is “technically” speaking English the entire time. If you’re a purist, just watch in sub OR dub cuz I did get confused here and there, especially when I would go back to compare language discrepancies.  Because basically I did this super high maintenance thing where I switched back to Japanese whenever the main character had flashbacks, since he’s ya know, Japanese. The dub also has this confusing thing where the first five minutes or so are still in Japanese, but switches to English when a little cue card on the screen goes “For the Viewers sake, everything from now on will be translated to Japanese.” It’s cuz in the sub, the inverse obviously happens where the characters are initially speaking broken English to each other, but for convenience sake, everything from that point on will be in Japanese. It’s confusing at first but I liked it cuz it just proved the whole international vibe of the show. It’s funny either sub or dub when they joke about how bad the main guy speaks English, cuz in the dub he’s speaking perfect English, while the sub has him not speaking English at all. But anyway, great anime that WOULD have gotten a 10/10 if not for the last episode. Like without spoiling ... WTF WAS THAT LMAOOOO. The anime as a whole is super wacky and zany but at least I could try to think it’s real life, but that last episode was just so unbelievable and bizarre and pulled my suspension of disbelief into the STRATOSPHERE that I just had to convince myself that this show takes place in some improbable alternate reality where something like what happened in the last episode is at least 5 percent possible CUZ HOW DID ANY OF THAT WORK LMAOOO??? Once again, great show, one of my absolute favorites, BUT THAT ENDING THOUGH WTF.

10. BNA

Good super underrated anime that I don’t hear people talk about at all. If Beastars is anime Zootopia, then BNA is Disney Beastars lmaooo does that make sense? It’s a lot more fun and zany than Beastars and I liked it way more. Made by the same people who made Kill la Kill. I really like that more classic, animated “cheap” art style that the anime has, and I also really liked the plot of the story. Not a 10/10 cuz the show does leave a few unanswered questions at the end of it, but this show was such a fun and interesting ride. When I finished the last episode, I was left with a big smile on my face because I just genuinely enjoyed this anime. Recommended if you wanna watch something a little unique and more on the silly and wack side. Talks about some serious stuff, but luckily the show never takes itself TOO seriously, and remains overall lighthearted for a fun action/sci-fi show.

#bna #attack on titan #parasyte #anime review #myanimelist #great pretender #demon slayer #vinland saga #mob psycho 100 #anime #fullmetal alchemist #terror in resonance #magic kaito

[ms-gallows]

Astrological signs for Obi-Wan Kenobi!

I know astrology can be a divisive subject for some people, but I’m into it and I’ve been studying it for a bit. I mostly just focused on the signs and planets, not on the houses that they fell into, so there may be some inconsistencies! I might change these later the more I learn, but this is just for fun! Here is my take on Obi-Wan! (Anakin is here!) Before I get into this, I want to explain the elements and the modes:

Air = thoughts/intellect Earth = materialism/pragmatism Water = emotion/spiritualism Fire = Action/Instinct

Cardinal = initiative Fixed = stability Mutable = adaptability

Obi-Wan has mostly Earth and Air, making him practical and intellectual. He has just enough water to give him emotional understanding of others and a sense of spirituality. He is also Cardinal and Mutable dominant, which gives him initiative and adaptability. 

Libra Ascendant: Oh, charming Obi-Wan. The ascendant is considered a mask and filter. It is the ‘mask’ we unconsciously show to the world, before people get to know us more personally. Obi-Wan gives the first impression of a Libra, there is a ‘lightness’ to how he conducts himself with acquaintances, charming them, approaching with friendliness and wit. This doesn’t mean he isn’t friendly inside, this is just the part of himself he is comfortable with showing first. Having a Libra Ascendant lightens up his serious Virgo interior. Libra gives him both his cheeky and intellectual demeanor. Cue Obi-Wan’s Ascendant being cheeky here:

The Ascendant is also a filter, meaning Obi-Wan interprets the world around him through the lens of a Libra. Libra makes him see things in terms of balance and harmony. Libra also has the air of a leader and is a very attractive sign to others. I originally had Obi-Wan as a Libra Rising, changed it to Gemini, and now it’s at Libra again because he just has this aura of a leader. There’s a reason why people look to him for guidance. As a leader he is very focused on fairness and equality. It makes sense with how he views the clones as equally important life, and not as tools.

Virgo Sun: I made Obi-Wan a Virgo Sun instead of a Libra Sun because he appears very charming, but we can see Obi-Wan from the perspective of someone who knows him very well: Anakin. Anakin sees what Obi-Wan hides from everyone else. The way Obi-Wan acts around Anakin when he is alone suggests that he is a Virgo to me. He is diligent, dutiful, pragmatic, and likes to be of service. These are traits that Obi-Wan is well-known for, giving his life to the Jedi Order and to others. That is the very core of who he is. 

Virgos can get very critical of others as well, and Anakin is no stranger to that.  He is prone to over-analysis and anxiety, but he projects a calm, charismatic veneer (the Ascendant). The mutable mode of this sign makes harmony a priority for him. His Ascendant and Mercury are compatible with those aims as well, which makes him seem very consistent personality-wise. Obi-Wan would like nothing more than to have a nice, calm space to meditate (mostly, anyway, he’d probably get bored after a while thanks to the cardinal Libra/Capricorn influence.) Virgo makes him keenly aware of his health, and he takes special care to consume healthy foods and take care of his body. Because it rules the stomach, Obi-Wan may have a sensitive stomach that gets upset when he is nervous.

Cancer Moon: The moon is where we express our emotions, our vulnerabilities, and our maternal instinct. Moon in Cancer is in the sign of its rulership, so it is particularly potent. The Cancer Moon shows Obi-Wan’s adherence and value for tradition. It’s the core of Obi-Wan’s emotional self, the only water sign he has in his inner planets, and it’s a side that he only shows when he is completely comfortable. It isn’t a side that he has much experience with either. 

With the moon being a maternal planet and Cancer being a feminine sign, there is a distinctly maternal energy in the way he cares for his loved ones. The way Obi-Wan is described on Mustafar as trying to tire Anakin out so he can cuddle him sounds like Anakin is his baby. In a deleted scene of Clone Wars, when Anakin asks how Obi-Wan would sleep knowing that he’d failed, Obi-Wan replies with “Not very well, but luckily that isn’t true, and never will be.” That sounds like a Cancer Moon Momma if I’ve ever heard one. 

His Libra Ascendant and Mercury also square his Cancer Moon (cardinal signs all square each other), so he has a lot of difficulty talking about his feelings or showing his feelings.

Even though he can be overly-critical or put on a flirtatious facade, he is deeply sincere and patient towards his dearest. Cancer is emotionally intuitive, so he has a keen sense of when someone is lying. He knows there’s a lot of emotion under Anakin’s surface. He feels deeply for Anakin, but being mostly comprised of Air and Earth make it difficult for him to communicate in a way that Anakin would understand. This is the part of Obi-Wan that Anakin feels starved of, the part that he clings to, and Obi-Wan doesn’t often indulge in it because it feels like he is losing control (and Virgos like keeping control of themselves). He’s worried he would become too attached (More on this with Anakin’s chart). Cancer has a hard shell and claws, so if Obi-Wan feels like someone is trying to dig into his vulnerabilities, he’s going to snap. I feel like this is probably what happened when Darth Maul was taunting Obi-Wan about killing his master. 

Mercury in Libra: Mercury is all about how we understand things, think, and communicate. Mercury in Libra values balance and fair negotiation where everyone benefits is ideal. He is fluid and adaptable, without being overly emotional. He wants to make sure people are comfortable. (Which is why I think he still might be Libra Ascendant). Libra values fairness and equality above all. Libra is both intellectual and relationship oriented. He intellectually knows that he has to continually reach out to Anakin in order to maintain their good relationship.

When giving criticism, he tries to be patient and gentle, however his Virgo Sun (the ego) may get frustrated and that’s when he gives sharp criticism. 

He will start with “perhaps the problem is [blank]”, which then becomes “Anakin, just do what I tell you”, when he becomes exasperated (which is often with Anakin). 

His Libra Mercury is where we get more of his wit and flirtatious attitude. I didn’t go with Gemini here because it’s mutable and known to flit from one subject to the next, while Obi-Wan seems to be more linear in the way he communicates. And I didn’t pick Aquarius because he prefers keeping harmony over bucking convention. This what Obi-Wan’s  Sun/Mercury look like when he’s double-checking that he’s reading things correctly:

(Obi-Wan’s Libra Mercury trying to assure Cody that everything is fine.)

Venus in Virgo: Venus rules romance, aesthetics, and taste. It is considered ‘debilitated’ in Virgo (I don’t believe in that stuff), so he doesn’t express love in an overly romantic sense. However, with having Libra in his personal planets (as well as a Cancer moon), he is not unfamiliar to those things, and they probably color his Virgoan affection. The Libra Ascendant and Mercury make him flirty, and the Cancer moon gives him a need for giving/receiving emotional care. 

One word to desribe Venus in Virgo is practical. Obi-Wan’s Venus is effortlessly meticulous and pays careful attention to the cues of people around him. He will express love in small, practical gestures: making Anakin a cup of tea with his favorite blend, organizing things for him, making sure he slept enough, etc. It’s also mutable, so he’s malleable about accommodating what his loved ones want, even if he finds it a bit irritating. To him, love is less about romantic gestures than practical, day-to-day reality. It’s very grounded and realistic, and he knows when someone isn’t going to be a good match for him. He can visualize what will work with his life and what won’t. 

Virgo Venus makes him susceptible to focusing only on his partner’s needs, and not thinking about his own. Obi-Wan probably doesn’t even know what his needs are, aside from practicality! If someone isn’t serving him the way he would serve them, he might come to the conclusion that they don’t love him, because he would have done that for them. He does not want to be the one doing all the work, and if he feels he’s the only one pulling the weight, he’s going to drop the relationship, because it isn’t practical, he knows it’s not going to work long-term. But even then, he has trouble letting people take care of him or show him love! Then, when it doesn’t work out, he’s going to blame himself, because Virgo puts a lot of pressure on itself!

(Obi-Wan’s Cancer Moon/Virgo Venus picking up on Anakin’s mood.)

He holds high standards for himself in love, so he can be bothered when someone doesn’t do the same in return. He needs to realize (like Anakin does) that people have different ways of expressing love. 

As noted with his Sun, criticism can be biting here, however he means for it to help his loved ones improve. He chides Anakin often, sometimes meant as an expression of care, which is actually quite foreign to the way that Anakin expresses love. It would make sense that Anakin feels unwanted, especially since he knows Obi-Wan has a more gentle Cancer Moon. He mistakes Obi-Wan’s Cancer moon as his real expression of love, (when it’s really Obi-Wan’s vulnerable spot), and that Obi-Wan won’t give it to him. 

In terms of taste, he likes things to be simple, clean, and tidy. Comfortable minimalism. Highly organized and space-efficient.

He needs to feel safe and secure before getting intimate with someone. Virgos, and Virgo Venuses, can also be very self-conscious regarding their appearance. Obi-Wan might not trust that a person actually wants him and finds him attractive, which would make it difficult for him to get intimate. He might even have body image issues. ‘Really? They think I’m attractive? Have they really taken a look at me?’ He prefers a clean bed, clean bodies, and clothes neatly folded on the floor. Maybe some gentle, pleasing scents. No photography allowed. Virgos apparently have a rep for being kinky, so there’s that too I guess. 

Mars in Capricorn: Mars rules passion, war, instinct, and sexuality.  Mars is exalted in Capricorn. Meaning that it is perfected. Capricorn is a cardinal sign, making it action-oriented like Aries, but it is tempered with practicality and a cool disposition. Obi-Wan is not prone to losing his head in battle and as a general (which is helpful because being a mutable Virgo can make him prone to analysis paralysis and anxiety). I’ve read it described that Virgo wants to be of service, Capricorn wants to be in charge.

Obi-Wan calls upon Capricorn to give him the precision and endurance for his fighting style and leading an army. He is a warrior, and he will do whatever needs to be done, when it needs to be done. That moment where he protects Cody from a projectile looks like his Capricorn Mars is showing. Aggressive, but sharply focused.

There is a ruthlessness to Capricorn, and his Capricorn Mars allows him to step aside and let one of his soldiers kill someone for him. This is the side of Obi-Wan that comes out when you’ve worn out all his patience and empathy.

There is the potential to be a workaholic, not surprising since Obi-Wan is clearly due for a nap. Or twenty. 

In terms of sexuality, it is harmonious with his Earth-based Venus and Sun. Capricorn makes him confident, and he wants to provide the best experience possible for his partner in an overachieving way, and Virgo helps attune him to every detail of his partner’s needs. This is a perfectionist in the bedroom. At first it’s difficult for him to indulge in these things, but these Earth signs do make him a (reluctant) sensualist. Touch-starved and won’t admit it! It seems to me that touch is a way he shows affection, but he doesn’t indulge in it because he’s worried he’d get too attached, so he heavily abstains from it. It’s highly intimate for him. Combining his Moon, Venus, and Mars, his erogenous zones are likely his chest, stomach, and knees.

Capricorn could either make him want to be in control, or give up control. It really is a toss up with how he’s feeling. Although Obi-Wan has difficulty letting his walls down, the involvement of his Cancer Moon would probably make it a very emotional experience as well. Cancer/Virgo/Capricorn is a patient combination that wants a slow build. The best way I can describe Obi-Wan as a lover is very firm but gentle. A deliberate, loving undoing of himself and his partner. It may not seem like it, but getting intimate with someone is truly a baring of his soul, and even if he’s on top, he’s the one with the most vulnerability. 

#Obi-wan #Obi-wan Kenobi #btw you guys can send asks if you're curious about anything! #kenobi #star wars #sw #clone wars #cw #swcw #star wars clone wars #anakin #okay i admit i got a little tired of doing this and I just hit publish haha #astrology #obi wan headcanon #obi-wan character analysis #anakin Skywalker #obi and ani #obi wan

[carebearbliss]

Seventeen’s ideal type

A/N: This is just my personal estimation of what kind of person I think would be complementary to them. I tried to neutralize it by explicitly not referring to a him or her, which is why I used them/they instead. Hope y’all have a nice day! :]

S.Coups 

Someone that knows how to take care of themselves well, whether it be something practical like cooking or taking a day off to focus on your mental wellbeing

I think someone who is comfortable in their own skin and confident would compliment Seungcheol well

Has to be supportive of his ambitions! With his busy schedule he’d really appreciate someone who understands what he’s doing it for and it’d mean the world if his future S/O could stand by that fully

Would love someone who can match his energy and return his enthusiasm, someone to bounce off of so to speak

Doesn’t necessarily have to be an extrovert, though he would definitely appreciate someone who’s willing to initiate things in the relationship, like dates, conversations, calls etc.

Someone who’s warm and affectionate, he’d want to feel loved and appreciated (hugs and compliments!!!)

Let’s him take care of them once in a while and doesn’t mind how protective he can be at times

A person who knows how to enjoy their life and live in the now would be perfect for him! Seungcheol has said before he likes someone who can eat well ;]

Jeonghan

Someone who hypes him up (lowkey shamelessly)

Especially by promoting Seventeen’s music to everyone they know

A person who’s unapologetically themselves (kinda like Jeonghan when he’s caught cheating for the 99th time) and owns it like a boss

He’d prefer his future S/O to be someone who’s more on the feminine side, maybe also someone who is naturally cute

Someone who is sensible and attentive toward their environment, a person who knows how to adapt to different situations depending on what is suitable/needed -- kind of a go with the flow type of person

A person who’s able to think for themselves, someone who’s not afraid of going against the mainstream opinion / someone who’s not swayed by others opinions easily

I’d definitely see Jeonghan with someone who’s more on the chill side, someone he can hang out with at home and order take-out with

Someone who can give him space when he needs it (instead of someone with a controlling character)

I think Jeonghan would also like someone who knows how to dress well, like someone who knows what suits them best and is interested in fashion

Joshua

Somebody who is as well-mannered and polite as him!!!

Has to have a kind heart, so not just someone who shows kindness but really someone who’s just kind through and through (y’know what I mean??)

Joshua would love someone who is quite open-minded and accepting

Someone who respects others opinions and treats people like equals

Would really want to be able to understand and connect well with the other person (and the other way around!),

Someone who’s non-judgmental and a good listener

A person he can have all kinds of conversations with (even about kind of weird/random topics)

Would definitely appreciate someone with a quirky side/personality to them, he’d find it intriguing (and honestly, Joshua can be a bit quirky at times too hehe)

I think he’d also like someone who’s down-to-earth and humble, like someone who’s just drama-free

Someone trustworthy and reliable, someone who is mature and knows better than to talk behind people’s backs or share secrets that weren’t theirs to share

Jun

If you can return his flirtatious remarks with playful banter I guarantee you this guy is gonna fall head over heels for you 

A person who matches him in terms of playfulness

Jun would like someone who can keep him on his toes and surprise him

Someone who is more on the spontaneous side / someone who has a multifaceted personality

He’d appreciate someone he could be weird and childish with together, like a person that he can do all kinds of fun stuff with

Would definitely be attracted to someone who can be both cute as well as sexy, someone who knows how to dress well would also catch his attention

A person he can dote on (and a person that dotes on him in return)!!!

I think Jun has a highkey weak spot for someone who is kinda 4D, a person that is more than what they appear to be (i.e. someone who is actually really quirky and humorous despite looking very innocent and quiet, y’know what I mean??)

Someone who is a bit on the mature side, who knows when to be serious and is also capable of taking care of others around her when needed

Hoshi

I think Hoshi would also find it important to be with someone who can match his enthusiasm, this doesn’t mean that you gotta be as hyped or enthusiastic as he can be sometimes, but more so that he’d need to feel actively stimulated (in short, someone who meets him halfway)

Bonus points if you’re naturally optimistic and bubbly!

Would really appreciate someone who is easygoing and fun to be around, someone who really enjoys what they are doing

Someone he can be comfortable around, even if neither of you say anything

A person who is openly supportive and affectionate toward him, and not afraid to initiate dates or surprise him every once in a while

I’d say Hoshi is also the type of guy who would feel attracted to someone that gets along well with his friends and family

Someone who’s a bit more on the cute side in terms of personality (and looks, for that matter)

A people’s person, someone that’s more extroverted than introverted / someone who’s comfortable and feels energized being around people, also someone who’s rather charming and eloquent/persuasive!

Wonwoo

Wonwoo’s ideal type would lowkey be the female lead of a historic kdrama ngl

Definitely someone who is elegant/graceful! A person that’s gentle and takes good care of her friends/family but also her possessions

Someone who comes off a bit more mature (no matter their age)

I think he’d suit a person who shares the same kinds of interests, someone he can talk with about what you thought of that book you both read and stuff like that

Wonwoo would definitely value someone who is intelligent, a (deep) thinker of some sorts with whom he can have meaningful conversations with

Someone who is quite self-sufficient and not dependent on others, a person who is reliable and trustworthy

Maybe also someone who gives off lowkey mom-friend vibes

A person that appreciates the little things and cherishes those little moments they can have with him

I don’t think he’d mind if the person were introverted, I actually think he’d appreciate someone who’s more on the quiet/reserved side

Now that I mentioned that, somebody who doesn’t mind comfortable silences!

A person he can be alone with together (like studying or reading together)

Woozi

Someone who balances him out, in other words: someone who accepts his calmness and seriousness

A person who’s more talkative and social than he is would match him well, someone that’s kind and friendly

Someone who understands him (his behavior, decisions, etc.) well!

Mutual respect toward each other’s careers and ambitions!!! Someone he can look up to and admire for who they are and what they do

Someone he can learn from during the relationship

Definitely someone that makes people feel at ease, someone who gives off warm/welcoming vibes

A person that makes him want to talk more

Someone that’s non-judgmental, but rather open-minded

I think trust would be very important to him, to be able to trust his future S/O, but also to have someone fully trust him as well

Someone who’s not afraid of confrontation (doesn’t mean that they’re overly assertive or aggressive!), a good communicator and listener!

Perhaps also someone who gets him out of his comfort zone from time to time

Someone thoughtful and considerate toward the people around them!

DK

Someone kind and friendly, someone without any facades whatsoever (lowkey ‘what you see is what you get’)

Definitely someone who is very energetic as well, or a person who gets excited very easily

Dokyeom would probably value someone who is (almost) always in high spirits

I think he’d definitely like someone who is really good at what they’re doing, whether it be singing, drawing or teaching, he’d definitely admire your talents a lot

Lowkey cannot resist someone with an infectious laugh and/or eyesmile

Speaking of which, someone who laughs a lot!!! Somebody who easily breaks into smiles & laughter would be perfect for DK ngl

A person who is not afraid to be goofy and crack up jokes (even if 5/10 doesn’t land well)

Would very much like it if their future S/O is somewhat of a moodmaker, someone who livens up the mood with their lightheartedness or humor

Someone truthful, just a person who doesn’t lie and would rather speak the truth

Mingyu

Someone who, regardless of their age, gives off noona vibes in how dependable and caring they are towards their friends/family

A person that’s rather confident would match him well, just someone that knows what they are worth and what they deserve (would definitely be a turn on ngl) 

Definitely a person that’s chill, no drama whatsoever, just someone who easily adapts to different environments and gets along well with various kinds of people

Mingyu would definitely appreciate someone who makes the effort to get to know him better, past all the superficialties and small talk

Someone he can let down his guard with, someone he can come to when he’s in need of an energizer or a shoulder to lean on

Lowkey would melt for someone who’s a good hugger and/or a really good friend to their friends

I think he’d be interested in someone who knows what they’re talking about, someone who’s got a bit of life experience / wisdom

A person that sends him little reminders from time to time, like that he shouldn’t forget to take some time for himself, or to eat well and stuff

The8

I think Minghao would really be impressed by someone who has an eye for fashion, someone who really understands fashion trends and the like

Someone that respects his needs and decisions, someone who sees him as their equal

Especially someone that fully stands beside whatever decisions he makes, a person that’s always there for him in the end

Somebody that’s sincere! Just a person that’s kind-natured (i.e. not someone who would gossip behind people’s backs)

A person that is always ready to help people out, like a person that regularly does volunteer work or donates to good causes often

Someone honest, that goes for all the members of course but I think Minghao in particular would really hate it when people lie

A person that owns up to their shit and takes responsibility when they make mistakes 

The8 would definitely suit someone who is naturally cute, aegyo just comes naturally to them

Overall, someone that has their back and is kind toward (almost) everyone would be his ideal type

Seungkwan

Someone that appreciates his humor and who he is as a person, especially how lively he is

I think Seungkwan is a person that needs a lot of nurturing and appreciation in his love life, with that I mean: someone who is affectionate and someone who compliments them a lot!

Basically, someone who hypes him up would be perfect for him ngl

Someone that’s proud to have him as their boyfriend!!!

A person that’s nice company, just someone he knows he can count on for whatever it is he needs to talk about in particular 

Definitely someone who’s like a best friend to him!

Someone compassionate and empathetic, someone that understands his sensitivity and what is meaningful to him (and respects that)

Seungkwan would probably feel attracted toward someone that tends to take care of others around them

Also, someone who’d get along well with the people in his life, especially his family!

Vernon

Someone that gives off lowkey homegirl vibes, someone who’s laidback and goes with the flow

Someone he can frequently hang out with, whether that’s playing video games or just chilling at home and watching movies

A person with good taste, he’d really like someone who has a nice music taste for that matter

Wouldn’t mind someone who is a bit different / who fully embraces their quirkiness!

I think Vernon would also like someone that’s genuinely interested in him, in his opinions and views for instance

Someone forgiving and understanding of others, not someone who tends to keep things inside all the time

A person that lives in the now, really someone that doesn’t worry much about past, present nor future, but rather lives in the now

Someone he can share his random thoughts with and who reciprocates the randomness in turn

Definitely someone that just rocks their differences, someone who’s unapologetically themselves

Dino

Someone confident, who knows what they are doing would most probably attract Dino

A person who tends to be cute, someone who has a lot of aegyo and isn’t afraid to show it every once in a while

Someone who’s more on the talkative and bubbly side perhaps

Someone that lets him take care of them once in a while

Chan would suit a person that shares a similar mindset, like someone who values the same things in (approaching) life

Someone that’s good at their job! 

I think Chan would find someone who’s serious and hardworking about their career particularly attractive

A person that’s ambitious/passionate and goes after what they want in life

Someone who knows how to look out for themselves

Mutual respect and appreciation for the other and what they do!

A person he can learn from in the relationship and be inspired by

#seventeen #kpop reaction #seventeen reaction #seventeen imagine #seventeen scenario #seventeen ideal type #kpop imagine #kpop scenario #s.coups #mingyu #hoshi #dino #dokyeom #dk #wonwoo #seungkwan #woozi #seungcheol #vernon #joshua #jeonghan #jun #minghao #the8 #seventeen boyfriend

[daveyjacobss]

meant to be made into art

jack kelly x davey jacobs (freshman college roommates au)

summary: davey might like his new roommate more than he was expecting to.

a/n: hi @faded-dragon-flys !! i’m your secrect santa for @newsies-secret-santa !! this is being posted a little later than i wanted so i’m really sorry about that but i hope you like it!! i hope you’ve had a happy holidays and that you have a wonderful new years :)

masterlist

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College was....okay. It wasn't that Davey wasn't excited to have more freedom and to finally be able to pursue his interests, but the entire experience was incredibly nerve-wracking. Classes and coursework were enough stress on their own, but the addition of living away from home for the first time in a new place with a stranger for a roommate wasn't exactly ideal. Not that his roommate wasn't fine, he was —mostly. He had a horrible sleep schedule and he was a little messy and he sometimes listened to his music too loud, but Davey had many of the same flaws. So, yeah, Davey could mostly handle Jack.

It had been a bit of a shock the second week when he had been up at an ungodly hour writing for one of his classes and Jack, who he had assumed was sleeping somewhere else for the night, had returned from one of the school's art studios splattered with paint. From the look on Jack's face, it had been a bit of a shock for him, too. But after the initial surprise had passed Jack had laughed quietly and Davey's cheeks had flushed the lightest of pinks because, oh, Jack had a really nice laugh. Davey had laughed a little, too, once he got his faint blush under control, and they had stayed up a little longer to talk before going to sleep. There were plenty of late night encounters in the following weeks, but that first one lingered in Davey's mind — the way the paint on Jack's face had accentuated his jawline, the way his smile had spread across his face so easily. His laughter had been soft but, with the quiet of the room, the sound of it had wrapped itself around Davey so firmly that he had felt it in his chest.

That happened a lot — more than he would have liked to admit. Jack would laugh, or he would sing along with his music, or he would just talk, and Davey would feel it reverberating in his chest and quickening the pace of his heart. Though, to be fair, the sped up heart rate also happened whenever Jack changed his shirt in front of Davey or walked into the room after a shower in only a towel.

So, maybe he couldn't actually handle Jack that well. Or, rather, he couldn't handle the way his face warmed every time Jack looked at him and his heart jumped in his chest anytime Jack touched him. Every time he talked to Sarah on the phone she would ask about his cute roommate, and every time without fail Davey would make a little choking noise and, if Jack was there, a swift exit. She had seen him when she was helping Davey move into his dorm, and he spent every day grateful that she hadn't gotten the chance to actually talk to him.

Sarah was better at making friends than Davey was, she always had been. Where she blossomed in social situations and could easily command a room, Davey floundered for what to say and criticized every word that came out of his own mouth. He was awkward, and people tended to give him strange looks rather than friendly smiles. Jack was the same way as Sarah, from what Davey could gather. He had plenty of friends back home and he had had no trouble making friends at their university, never eating alone in the dining hall and always having someone in each of his classes to text about assignments. Davey could understand it, the way people seemed to fawn over Jack and melt at his smile — after all, he did the same things. Jack never really brought his friends back to their dorm, though, and it warmed Davey's heart to think it was out of consideration for him.

The only real friends Davey had made since arriving on campus were Jack and a girl in his english class named Katherine, who sometimes scared him but he still adored all the same. Katherine had caught onto his growing feelings for his roommate so fast Davey had briefly wondered if she was psychic. Jack had seen them sitting together while they ate dinner and came to say hi, and Katherine had clearly not missed the way Davey had simultaneously brightened out of excitement and shrunk down out of nervousness. Thankfully, she didn't say anything until Jack had left, but then a teasing smile had spread across her face and Davey knew he was a goner.

"Don't think I didn't see that," she had said, nonchalantly flipping her hair behind her shoulder. Her eyes were twinkling with mischief as she looked at him.

"See what?" He had asked, trying to appear as unbothered as she was. He failed miserably.

She hadn't responded, only going back to eating her salad, but she had been poking fun at him about it ever since. It didn't help that she insisted Jack had a crush on Davey, too. She would tell him about how Jack's smile was different for him and he rarely looked away from Davey when they were in the same room — but Davey just couldn't bring himself to believe it. Believing it would let in too much hope, and with too much hope came the inevitable bone crushing weight of heartbreak.

Even just the little bit of hope that had crept into his chest after Katherine's constant reassurances of Jack liking him as well left him stealing glances at his roommate while perched on his own bed and making half-assed annotations in his textbook. Sometimes he felt creepy, always watching Jack when he wasn't looking (thought he probably spent an equal amount of time averting his eyes for his own sanity), but every once in a while Jack would catch him and he would just smile — so Davey never felt too bad about it.

He watched as Jack hunched over his sketchbook, his lip between his teeth and his brow furrowed. Jack always looked breathtaking when he was concentrating on his artwork. He ended up in strange positions that looked like there was no way they could ever be comfortable, but his body was as relaxed as it was tense. Sometimes his tongue would slip out between his teeth if he got really into it, and it always made Davey smile. Jack's control over his face in general seemed to disappear when he was working on his art, every emotion clearly written in his expressions as he cycled through them. Once, Jack had brought Davey to the art studio with him so he could have company while he painted. It had been one of the smaller rooms in the art building, and they were the only ones in there. The way Jack had loosened and opened up was incredible to watch, it was like as soon as he picked up his paintbrush his whole being clicked into place and was brought into focus. The painting was beautiful, as was every piece of Jack's, but it was the painter who Davey had watched come alive in vibrant colors.

"What are you working on?" He blurted out, startling even himself as Jack looked up from his sketchbook. His roommate's face relaxed a little as his eyes fell on Davey.

"Just some warmup sketches," he answered easily. Everything Jack did seemed to come easily.

"Any particular subject?" Davey pushed his textbook off his lap, his notes forgotten in lieu of a much more important subject (Jack, of course). For a split second, he swore he saw panic flash across his friend's face.

"Not really, I just like to make sure I draw a bit everyday." He smiled at Davey, closing his sketchbook. "What class are you working on?"

"Oh, this?" Davey gestured to the several colors of highlighters and pens scattered across his bed with his textbook. "It's just stuff for my intro to philosophy course. The professor gives us, like, never-ending readings. It's nowhere near as interesting as your art." He was blushing by the time he finished talking, not having expected himself to turn his answer into praise for Jack (...again). But Jack scoffed, bringing himself and his sketchbook over to Davey's bed. He plopped down next to him and their knees knocked into each other, Davey's heart missing a beat.

"Nah, if it's interesting to you than it's cool. You don't have to downplay it or justify it to me." Jack caught Davey's eyes while he was talking, locking in so that Davey couldn't have looked away even if he wanted to (he didn't). There was something so simultaneously comforting and exposing about Jack looking right at him, all of his attention focused on Davey. He was so caught up it in that it took a second for his words to register. But, when they did, he found his chest warming and the butterflies in his stomach fluttering their wings — not the harsh, violent flapping that happened when he got anxious, but a gentle soothing rhythm that could have lulled him to sleep. Not knowing how to respond to such a warm act of reassurance, he tried to redirect the conversation.

"Can I see what you were drawing?"

It was Jack who finally broke their staring contest, dragging his eyes down to look at his sketchbook resting in his lap. He glanced between it and Davey, biting his lip.

"Tell you what, I'll show you some of these sketches if you finally let me read one of those short stories of yours for your fiction writing class, deal?"

Davey's eyes widened, feeling himself shrinking back without actually moving. He was retreating from the warmth Jack was radiating and it left him cold and regretful, but he didn't know if he could do it. He didn't know if he could let Jack read one his stories, let him look that deeply in Davey's mind. Sure, his professor and his classmates would read his stories for workshops to help him revise it, but this felt different. They were reading it for the sake of constructive criticism and helping him improve it, Jack would be reading it just to read it. Jack would be reading it and in doing so he'd get the biggest peek into who Davey was that he would probably ever get. Even Sarah hadn't been allowed to read his stories yet. But —

But Jack was there. Jack was sitting there in front of him on Davey's bed, offering up a part of himself, too. Davey had watched Jack paint, but he had never had the privilege to look into Jack's sketchbook. Even when he asked he had been expecting a playful dismissal, a kind brush off. Jack's other friends, Davey knew, weren't allowed to look at his sketchbook. He had confided with Davey that even his foster brother back home had only been allowed to glimpse a few pages. And if Jack was willing to show that part of himself, to reveal that to Davey, how couldn't he offer up the same in return?

"Okay," he said, looking Jack right in the eye again and watching as his lips turned upward. "Deal."

Jack grinned fully before spitting on his hand and holding it out as if for a handshake. Davey scrunched his nose as he looked down at it. "That's disgusting."

Jack laughed, pulling hand back to wipe it on his pants. "Sorry, force of habit."

Davey's phone vibrated on the bed beside him as he was giving Jack a slightly bewildered stare. He picked it up without really looking, pulling up the text notification from Sarah. His face flushed at her message, quickly putting his phone face down on the bed to make sure Jack couldn't see it. It was Jack's turn to give Davey a bewildered stare.

"You alright there?"

Davey laughed nervously. "Yeah, uh, I'm good. Sorry, it's my sister. She won't stop asking me about my cute roommate." He froze as he realized what he had said. "Uh! Her words, not mine. She won't shut up about it."

"That so?" Jack asked, smirking. He was so smug and so boyishly attractive that Davey's brain didn't even give him a second to think before he was talking again.

"Well, you know, you are." And holy shit he did not just say that. Holy shit he did not just say that. Jack's jaw dropped just slightly, but Davey was more focused on the panic making its way through his entire body and forcing even more words up his throat. "I mean—like, uh, objectively, ya know? Like, your face is, uh — it's, like, aesthetically.... pleasing?"

He wanted to die. He wanted to throw himself out the window and die. He could not believe all of that had just come out of his mouth. He continued to stutter for a few more seconds without any real words coming out, Jack's eyes still fixated on him as he blushed and fidgeted. Then, suddenly, he turned away as if to hide his face — but he didn't turn enough. Davey watched in muted shock as Jack lips spread into a broad grin.

"For what it's worth," Jack's voice was soft and gentle, slipping out from behind his smile, "I think your face is pretty aesthetically pleasing, too."

Davey's entire body shut down. Oh. Jack thought he had a nice face. Okay. Yeah, definitely not something he could handle — definitely something he would need to deal with and process when he was alone and could express the proper amount of freaking out over it.

"I actually, um—" Jack was turning back to him, opening his sketchbook to his most recent pages. "I think you have a really nice face, Davey." He held the book out to Davey and he took it with slightly trembling his hands. In front of him were two full pages populated entirely by sketches of Davey. His breath caught in his throat as he looked at them, at Jack's beautiful handiwork. He made Davey seem more breathtaking than he was, than he could ever dream of being. And, more than that, he made Davey seem like the kind of person worth paying attention to.

When he turned to look back at Jack, his gaze was softened and his mouth was stilling hanging open slightly. Jack looked like he was holding his breath, his eyes hopeful as they met Davey's.

Oh, Davey thought again. Oh.

While he had been sneaking glances at Jack, Jack had been doing the same. While he had been romanticizing every detail of Jack, Jack had been doing the exact same thing to Davey in his artwork. He made Davey feel like he was the kind of person who deserved to be romanticized, like he was the kind of person who was meant to made into art.

Oh.

Davey gently placed the sketchbook down on the bed, feeling more calm than he had since he moved into their dorm. The butterflies in his stomach were fluttering, his heart was beating out his chest, his face was practically burning, and yet everything felt peaceful. Jack's eyes widened as Davey reached for him, placing a hand on his shoulder.

But he melted into it when Davey kissed him. He grabbed at Davey, his hands scrunching up the fabric of Davey's shirt as he pulled him closer, smiling into the kiss. Davey felt like he had literally ascended to heaven, curling his fingers in Jack's hair.

When they eventually pulled away Davey's nerves returned in full force, stumbling over his words as he tried to explain himself. But Jack just smiled at him and kissed his forehead before lacing their hands together. And, yeah, Davey could make do with that.

"What do you say we go grab some dinner and I read one of your stories when we get back? Then we can have a movie night or something," Jack offered, standing up from the bed and pulling Davey with him.

No fear came with the idea of Jack reading his story that time, not after having seen Jack's sketchbook. Not after Jack had revealed himself so openly to Davey — it was only fair he do the same. Plus, he found that he wanted Jack to see that part of him. He wanted to know what Jack thought of his writing.

"Yeah," he smiled, squeezing Jack's hand. "That sounds good."

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tag list: @isarants @tomanybandstolove @seriously-ceci @bens-platt @earlyjunes @broadway-trashh @interwebseriesfan24 @returnoftheborle @cozykleinman @timesarehardfornewsies @jackclyde @last-an-eon @annabethgranger123 @musi-xals @notyouraveragegryffindoor @magic-made-by-melody @i-also-miss-our-talks@linfuckingmirandaaa @shatteringinprogress @storytellersun @psych-stereo @books-cats-sprinkles @me-andthe-sky @connor-is-my-sunshine @merediths2003 @papesfordavey @larryisinfactnotstraight @casifer-is-cute @gem-evieve @actually-lizzy @broadwayobsessedteen @majo16199 @sarkitsm @suffering-bi @tommy-braccoli @starryrevelations @woolfhrd @thesleepingandthedead @cruelnatalie @bencookisagod @abovethyfold @mycollectionofnuts @gayrightsansa @dorkydavina

#javid fic #javid #jack kelly x davey jacobs #newsies fic #newsies #newsies secret santa #jack kelly #davey jacobs #not my best work lol but i think it's a lil cute :) #bambi can kinda write

[winetae]

wall to wall (m.) 01

↳ in a pornographic movie, refers to a series of sex scenes with no plot.

⇁ female reader x hoseok 

⇁ smut, porn star!au

⇁ sex work, insecurity, jealousy, slut shaming/objectification (not the sexy kind), role played scenario that includes: d/s dynamics - dom!hoseok, porn star level dirty talk, stuff that should never happen in a kitchen bc hygiene, daddy kink, impreg kink, rough sex, spanking, a lot of finger sucking, this fic is a poor attempt at social commentary

⇁ 22.5k

. . .

Temporary popularity is the biggest threat to your career right now. Without a solid core fan base you’re doomed to be forgotten. If not now, then in a month or two, and if not then, surely by the end of the year. That’s how quickly the adult film industry cycles through their actors, especially when you’re a woman. Your agent comes forward with a proposition to help put you back on the map.

↳ or, my contribution to the lights, camera, action collab : )

part 01 | part 02 | part 03

author’s note | inspired by the piece ‘slut-shaming: pornstars are humans too’ & the life after porn documentaries on netflix. thank u to jordan, eva, amy, venus, addie and lu for being a part of this collab !! *inserts a million heart emojis and a big fat NUT emoticon*

re:warnings, the slut shaming is done by others and can also be considered as internalized oppression. it’s something the reader struggles with and eventually works to overcome. this first part isn’t as smutty as the second but regardless i hope u can bear with me lol. ty, as always, for giving my writing a chance. i hope u enjoy it or at least take something from it !

wall2wall can be read as a sequel to my fic money shot. same disclaimer applies: this story does claim to accurately portray the world of adult entertainment

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SCENE 01 - YOU’VE GOT MALE. TAKE 01. ROLL A.

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Today is just one of those days you wish you had slept straight through. Maybe if you had, you wouldn’t be dying from the sheer dullness of having nothing to do.

You huff out a sigh, bored out of your goddamn mind.

Head cradled in the crook of your left palm, you use your available hand to refresh your instagram feed. Much to your disappointment, nothing new shows up. The same video of a dog chasing its own tail plays on but you pay it no heed, the novelty having worn off after the first few times.

The next half hour passes by in a similar fashion, each result proving to be as unavailing as the last. You’d think that after a while you’d give up and find a new distraction to pass the time but whether out of habit or boredom-induced insanity, you persist with your fruitless attempts.

Today really fucking blows, you think glumly, the curve of your mouth thinning into a grimace. As the adorable corgie keeps the infernal cycle going, yapping and running around incessantly, you’re struck with a terrifying thought. Maybe this is how you will die - condemned to live your life stuck in the worst sort of monotony imaginable.

What you had expected to be a “quick and easy” shoot has turned into a tedious ordeal that you don’t see ending anytime soon. And whilst on-set complications and prolongations are frequent enough that they’re almost expected, today really takes the cake. Even during your rookie days, you can’t recall running into delays of this scale.

To top it off, the weather app announces a record-breaking heat - which in itself is bad enough. As luck would have it, it gets worse. The place rented out for today’s filming lacks proper air conditioning, equipped instead with electric fans that look like they’ve been around since the 1980s.

A quick glance into the vanity mirror confirms that you look as frazzled as you feel. Because of the humidity level that weighs down the air, your hair is in a right state. You fight a grimace off your face. The straggly hair coupled with the oily sheen on your face...it’s far from your best look, to say the least.

And to think thousands of people will get to see it up close in 1080p resolution... It’s a terrifying concept.

You’re already dreading the upcoming sex scenes that you’ve yet to film. It’s always a messy affair - fluids of all kind end up literally everywhere - but the sweltering heat undoubtedly makes it ten times worse. A shudder works its way down your spine.

Frankly speaking, the mere thought of having hot and wild sex in these less than ideal working conditions kills your libido. Under the glaring studio lights, surrounded by sweaty crewmen and pressed up an equally feverish body - it’s basically the porn equivalent of a fuckin’ barbecue party.

Yeah, no thanks. You’d rather be at home, with the air conditioner at full blast, nestled in the comfy cushions of your sofa as you marathon a series of your choice on netflix. Only the promised sum of money keeps you from bolting and calling it quits altogether.

“So when are you gonna drop the new boy toy?” a voice buzzes in your ear not unlike a pesky fly.

Tempting as it is to ignore it, you peel your eyes away from your reflection just in time to catch Seokjin shoot you the most unimpressed look in his repertoire, one perfectly groomed eyebrow arched in judgment.

In the background, an old ceiling fan whirs on but does nothing to cool you off. If anything, its constant rattling only exacerbates your growing headache.

“What are you talking about?" You flick a piece of imaginary lint off your dressing robe, your tone neutral.

Seokjin’s brown eyes see right through your feigned air of indifference. Months of working by your side have made him an expert at reading your body language, be it naked or clothed. A wolfish grin adorns his face as he swoops in for the kill.

“Oh come on. You know exactly who I’m talking about. Jongmin. He’s short - comes up to right about here.” Seokjin holds a hand up to his chest to illustrate his point, deliberately shaving off a few inches off your boyfriend’s height in order to antagonize you.

You bite the inside of your cheek, careful not to spit out the retort that’s perched on the tip of your tongue. It takes a great deal of effort to unclench the muscles in your jaw but you manage to school your features into an expression of polite confusion.

Seokjin frowns, dissatisfied with your lack of response. You don’t need to be a mind reader to know that he’s currently thinking of new ways to provoke you.

When the silence stretches on and he’s yet to riposte, you allow yourself  to relax again, believing that he’s given up on being an asshole.

To your chagrin, you’re sorely mistaken. The last of your self-restraint is finally put to the test as his next words do nothing to quell your irritation.

“Jongmin.” He repeats slowly, like you need it spelled out for you. “He follows you around everywhere like a lap dog. It’d be cute if it wasn’t so, you know, pathetic.”

“His name is Jimin,” you correct for the nth time.

Instantly, you reprimand yourself for playing into his games and granting him the attention he so craves. Fulfilling his twisted desire is the last thing you hope to achieve. Staying silent would be the sensible thing to do but your brain completely bypasses the memo. The moment your mouth opens it’s impossible to quash the urge to justify yourself.

Maybe it’s your pride coming into play. Maybe it’s Seokjin’s uncanny ability to get under anyone’s skin at will. Whatever the case may be, you stammer out, on the defensive, “And he’s not my 'boy toy'. We - it’s not - we’re dating.” But the word feels like a weight on your tongue. You swallow.

The statement earns you a scoff of incredulity. “Dating? Him?”

You finally set your phone down and aim a glare his way, abandoning all pretense at being indifferent because—Jesus. Is the idea of you dating that unfathomable? He’s never been this worked up over any of your other relationships. Granted, none of them have ever lasted this long but is it really any of his business who you choose to see in your free time?

“I don’t get what your problem is. What’s so wrong with me dating?”

“Have you seen who you’re dating?”

“And what’s that supposed to mean?!”

While this isn’t the first time your agent lets a judgmental comment slip from between his pearly white teeth, it’s usually not laced with spite. Seokjin is never outright hostile, preferring sweet words of manipulation and thinly-veiled insults to shows of aggression. The attempt to get a rise out of you does not go by unnoticed. His anger, this time, feels personal.

You wrack your brain, quickly sifting through your recent memories to try and figure out why he’s chosen to be such an ass today. You’re certain that you’ve filled out all the necessary paperwork required to proceed with today’s filming, and yes, after thinking it over, you know that you went to the obligatory medical checkup last week. So there really is no reason for him to bitch at you unless—

The proverbial light bulb flickers on and it all suddenly makes sense.

You’re willing to bet a hefty sum of money that the high-paying gig you turned down two weekends ago is to blame for his abnormal crotchety behavior.

Yes, that would explain it.

Due to Seokjin's well-known propensity to hold a grudge for longer than average, the odds that he’s still hung up over the lost deal are pretty high. And as much as his disappointment and frustration are understandable from a business standpoint, you don’t appreciate being used as a verbal punching bag for him to expel all those pent-up feelings.

Seokjin hums, a knowing smirk pulling the sides of his mouth upwards. Fleetingly, and not for the first time, you find it a shame that his cockiness tarnishes his otherwise handsome face. “I give it another couple of days until you get bored. How long has this gone on for? A month? How are you not yanking out your hair from the sheer boredom of dating...that."

A muscle in your jaw ticks.

“He’s not Voldemort, you coward. Would it honestly kill you to say his name?” Seokjin’s expression begs to differ. You cut him off before he can add fuel to the fire. “And I won’t get bored. Jimin’s - he’s a perfectly nice guy. We’ve been seeing each other just fine—not that it’s any of your concern.”

“Yes, he’s nice,” Seokjin concedes easily, brushing off any attempts at putting an end to the conversation. He grins, wide and smug, like he knows you can’t refute what he’ll say next. “Perfectly nice and boring. The kind of guy you’d bring back home if your parents were straight-laced folks that wanted to marry you off to a choir boy. Seriously, how the fuck did a guy like him end up in the porn industry? He belongs in a church or, I dunno, maybe some neighborhood book club - not behind a camera filming you getting flogged by a daddy dom.”

You sniff. “Just because he tucks his shirts in doesn’t—”

“It’s not just the shirts, honey.” He leans over to pat your hand in a gesture of consolation. Used to his antics, his attempt is easily blocked by a swat of your hand.

You muster the dirtiest look you’re capable of, the kind of look that sends men to early graves, but he simply smiles in response, completely unfazed.

Any person with the minimum amount of tact would know to politely change the subject. It’s unfortunate that your agent does not belong to that pool of individuals, choosing instead to be selectively blind to overt social cues.

He continues on, unperturbed, like he has a point to prove. “Believe it or not, I know you. Sometimes, for whatever reason, perhaps a lapse in judgement but who the fuck knows, you like to venture out of your comfort zone and experiment. Like with the chickenshit gingerbread spice concoctions they come out with at Starbucks to celebrate turkey season and Christmas or the cream cheese makis they make for the white crowd who want to eat sushi but don’t like anything other than white rice and seaweed. And, trust me, while I’m all for diversity and broadening your personal experiences, don’t you think there’s a reason why you always go back to your preferred choice of an iced latte with two sugars?”

“Did you just compare Jimin to a gingerbread latte?”

Okay, so admittedly you’ve made some questionable food and beverage choices in the past, but the comparison is a fucking reach. 

“You’re absolutely right." Seokjin gives a firm nod of his head, his expression serious. "Now that you mention it, he’s definitely a vanilla soy. Bland and boring. Targeted towards the middle-aged soccer moms that think veganism is a trend, not a lifestyle. Wants to be a people-pleaser but misses the mark.”

“I didn’t know it was Share Your Unwanted Opinion Time,” you grind out from behind a strained smile. “If I had, I would have said something about your receding hairline earlier.”

It’s a low blow but the way Seokjin’s plump lips curl in displeasure makes the dig worth it. One of his hands automatically shoot up to flatten the bangs that are usually slicked back with copious amounts of gel.

Offended, he spits, “It’s not receding! There’s a difference between premature balding and a bleach job gone wrong.”

"I'm not sure people care to differentiate. Looks like a receding hairline to me." You shrug while picking at your nails. “You’re nearing that age, too, so.”

“You just try looking this good at 30. Fucking try.” 

He waits for a reply but your interest has already waned. You scroll through your phone, bored once more.

Seokjin makes a disgruntled noise in the back of his throat at the clear dismissal. You swear you hear him grumble under his breath - something along the lines of never going blonde again - but can’t find it in you to care, not when he’s finally ceased his nagging.

"Filming in twenty!" someone shouts from outside the door.

"They’re running behind schedule," Seokjin notes after glancing down at his gold wristwatch. "How can they take more than an hour to fix the lighting? Tch. Bunch of fuckin’ amateurs."

He aims a glare in your direction as if their incompetence is somehow your fault. 

You have half a mind to glower back but miraculously withhold your sentiments. Admittedly, he isn’t wrong - the team you’re working with today keeps committing blunders even rookies wouldn’t dare perpetrate - but you’d rather get your driving license revoked forever than to acknowledge that Seokjin’s right and inflate his already unnaturally huge ego.

Something heavy plops into your lap. When you look down, the glossy surface of a magazine reflects the harsh lights suspended over the vanity table back at you.

“I didn’t want to resort to this but you leave me no choice,” he says in response to your look of confusion.

“What’s this?”

You hold up the magazine expecting the worst. It’s heavy in your hands, the pages thicker than the gossip rags you’d find in a dentist’s waiting room. 

“’s the newest issue. Came out this morning. I’d actually like it back once you’re done because I haven’t finished reading it and God knows how hard it was to get my—hey, you can stop flicking aimlessly, I saved you the trouble and bookmarked the page,” Seokjin explains a bit impatiently.

When you shoot him a glance, his attention is trained on your face, not the magazine. He barely blinks. Like a snake honing in on its prey. And that kind of intense focus - that can’t be good. After all, you’ve known Seokjin long enough to suspect that whatever trick he has up his sleeve will give him the advantage he needs to deliver the killing blow.

Gingerly, you flip through the pages like you’re afraid the magazine might self-destruct in your hands. Which would be a waste, in your opinion, since Exquis is a damn good magazine - perhaps less intellectual than Playboy, but definitely classier than Hustler. Its reputation speaks for itself. Known for hiring the best photographers and carefully combing through their models, it’s selective, only picking the cream of the cr—

Everything around you stills.

Your eyes narrow at the spread because there, on the page Seokjin’s taken great care to bookmark, a model poses provocatively on a lounge chaise near a crystal clear pool. It’s similar to a shoot you’ve done in the past but you can tell right away that the quality of this is above and beyond anything you’ve ever done. The lighting is better, heck even the barely-there-swimsuit looks like it costs ten times more than whatever you had been told to throw on at the time.

The vexation you feel only worsens once it finally registers who the model is. Her youthful and pretty face carries a permanent haughtiness that not even makeup or acting can entirely mask.

The pages crease in your hold as you flick through the rest of the spread dedicated to the up and coming talents. With every new page that has her plastered on its glossy surface you feel your stomach sink. 

2...3...4...

“Five pages,” you curse under your breath. For a magazine this renowned, it’s...a lot. Commendable, even. Your nose crinkles. “Well, fuck. me. sideways.”

Seokjin gloats, reveling in your outrage. “Hmph. I told you, didn’t I? Passing up the opportunity to work with Kim Namjoon would come and bite you in the ass.”

“Aha! So you have been a little bitch because I refused to shoot with Namjoon.” You whirl around in your chair and use the magazine to jab him in the chest. He easily steps aside, avoiding your attempt at wrinkling his trademark Armani button-down shirt.

“It was the chance of a lifetime and you knew it.” He turns his nose up and sniffs.

“That’s what you said about filming with Min Yoongi last month.” You roll your eyes. “I can’t take you seriously if you’re gonna say the same thing every time a new guy shows up.”

“Shooting with Agust D did help you gain some mainstream popularity. You’ve gotten love calls for catalog printings and your name is now automatically on the invite sheet for every C-list event in town. Namjoon would have given you another needed boost.” Seokjin folds his arms, lecturing mode switched on. You struggle with the instinctive urge to tune him out. “Sure, he’s got a niche audience, but he’s famous in his field and it would have helped expand your fa—“

“Not to kink shame or anything because we don’t do that, but Namjoon is a freak. And don’t deny it, I’ve seen his videos.”

“He’s specialized in particular—“

“You were the one telling me not to film all sorts of shit right off the bat,” you cut in, refusing to back down from your stance. There’s no way you’ll let him sweet-talk you out of this one, not after the multiple videos of Namjoon you’d binged one weekend. “Stick to one story.”

“Well, we’re not exactly ‘right off the bat’ anymore, are we? We’ve passed that stage. Right now is a crucial time in your career so you’ve got to make it count. Filming rehashed videos of the same pizza delivery guy scenario gets boring and fast. As pretty as you are, you’re not offering anything new to the table, are you?”

Fuck him. He’s right and you know it. Temporary popularity is the biggest threat to your career right now. Without a solid core fan base you’re doomed to be forgotten. If not now, then in a month or two, and if not then, surely by the end of the year. That’s how quickly the adult film industry cycles through their actors, especially when you’re a woman.

Still. “I refuse to work with a guy whose porn alias is Cock Monster.”

“Beggars can’t be choosers.”

“Well I said no,” you insist stubbornly.

“Well if you had said yes, maybe it would be your ass cheeks getting their own two page spread in Exquis instead,” jabs Seokjin, hitting you where it hurts. 

Ugh. The reminder that Joy’s bested you yet again riles you up even more. That, coupled with the likelihood of your career ending imminently, makes you stop and think.

Your agent goes on to say, “Don’t you want the AVN for best newcomer? Where did that competitive edge go? At the rate this is going, Joy’s going to steal it from right under your nose.”

“Like fucking hell,” you hiss. The magazine bends under the strength of your grip. “That one’s mine.”

You absolutely refuse to lose out to her. Every fiber of your being rejects the idea of letting her one-up you again.

“Not if you don’t start branching out. The last time you did anything substantial or interesting was about a month ago. It’s already old news. People are going to forget you shot that sequence altogether if you don’t do anything that puts you back on the map.”

A pause. “…I really don’t want to film with someone who willingly named himself Cock Mons—”

“Fine.” Seokjin heaves a resigned sigh. “You don’t have to fuck the monster willy. Willy monster? Hm. Wouldn’t it make more sense to name himself Monster Cock and not Cock Monster? Wonder why he does th—”

You suppress a snort. “Please spare me while you can. It’s amazing, that talent for making everything sound a lot worse than it already it is.”

“Why, thank you.”

“It wasn’t a compliment.”

“You trying to insult someone who’s willing to find you someone else to work with? I can always ask Monster Meatstick if he’s up for—”

“No! No, that’s - not necessary.” You force out a smile that wouldn’t fool anyone into thinking its genuine. “Why would I ever insult you? You’re the best agent one could ask for.”

“That’s what I thought.” He takes your compliment, forced or not. When he smiles, smugness rolls off of him in waves. “One day you’ll realize you’re taking my talent for granted. I’ll find you another onscreen partner even though you don’t know what you’re missing out.”

“Thank you.”

“But!” He interjects and this time you don’t bother swallowing down your groan, already dreading the stipulations he has in store for you. “You have to promise to hold up your end of the bargain and try your best.”

Indignation colors your face. Your mouth falls open, retort at the ready. “When do I ever slack off on the job?! I’ve never given a half-assed blowjob in my life - and trust me, the temptation was there. Do you have any idea how hard it is to stay focused when the guy can’t cum on command? I once had to get my jaw realigned.”

“I’m not saying you’re slacking off,” he backtracks, switching tactics. His expression is soon replaced by the business-like smile you’re used to seeing on the regular. Tone buttery and appeasing, he tries to convince you through flattery instead. “You work hard and do a good job… I wouldn’t have signed you on otherwise. The problem isn’t with the quality of your work but with - all the rest.”

“The rest?” you parrot back dumbly, trying and failing to comprehend.

Seokjin scowl returns, unable to keep his genuine emotions under wraps.

“D’you honestly think you’re at a point in your career where you can pick and choose your jobs like this? Ever since you started dating that - that thing - your workload has significantly decreased. And not because you lacked opportunities. You had them but you turned them all down.” Visibly getting worked up over the issue, his voice rises an octave, then two. “What should’ve been a good spring board, only brought you back to square one. I know I can’t force you to take jobs if you refuse to, but I can say that your potential is going to waste. I’ve never seen someone sabotage herself like this before and it’s driving me up the wall. While I get that you’re under the delusion that you’ve found true love or whatever Disney fantasy Jungmin has sold you, you can’t turn down projects over and over again without there being serious repercussions. You’re smart enough to know this. I shouldn’t have to remind you.”

Seokjin’s chest heaves as he takes in several big gulps of air, visibly out of breath after his monologue.

For him to explode like popcorn kennels in the microwave... You reckon he’d let his feelings pile up inside him for a while, silently stewing.

You’ve never seen your agent look so visibly distressed. He’s normally the picture-perfect image of composure so the sight that greets you is enough of a shock to render you speechless.

Deep down, Seokjin probably means well. There aren’t a lot of agents like him; you’re one of the lucky ones. Most girls are discarded by their agencies as quickly as used tissues once they get milked for all their worth. 

Thankfully it’s never been that way with Seokjin. He claims that he’s in it for the long run. According to him the quick buck isn’t worth seeing the light die out in girl after girl. Perhaps that’s why he takes the task of ensuring your safety so seriously. How many times has he warned you to steer clear of this or that seedy director or ban you from attending drug-heavy parties? While his behavior can come off as overbearing on the worst days, at least he cares.

Sadly, it’s more than you can say for most.

In a way, he’s the only one in this business rooting for your success—if only because his paycheck depends on how well you perform. You like to pretend there’s more to it than that.

“I’m not - what’s Jimin got to do with any of this?” you splutter, still digesting the long tirade you’ve just been subjected to. 

“Are you serious? That’s all you got from what I said?”

“Well, no, but I still fail to—”

“Do you think me a fool?” He crosses his arms tightly across his broad chest. “The only scenes you’re willing to shoot are when he’s on set. Are you a kid or something? Since when do you need supervision to shoot a sex scene?”

“N-no. It just worked out that way, okay?” In reply to his dubious expression, you force yourself to explain. “Okay, okay - I get it. Maybe I might’ve lessened my workload recently but it has nothing to do with Jimin, alright? My vagina needs rest from time to time. Just because it’s my job doesn’t mean I don’t need a break. I’m human too, not some blow-up doll.”

“You expect me to believe that he has nothing to do with it? You were perfectly fine before he entered the picture. And now that you’re all loved up you only pick—”

A knock, so timid you barely catch it, cuts off the rest of his sentence.

“Yeah? Come in, I’m decent!” you yell - not that you care whether someone sees you naked or not. The concept of modesty has long been lost on you. Some might call it shamelessness or vanity, but you take pride in how you look. And why wouldn’t you? Your body is your bread and butter. You spend hours in the gym every week so that your ass looks good no matter what camera angle.

“It’s me.”

The door opens a crack and the speaker tentatively sticks his mop of hair through the small opening. As soon as you recognize him, your heart leaps at the sight and you quickly tighten your robe together.

“Oh, speak of the devil,” Seokjin mutters under his breath.

You resist the urge to throttle him and plaster on your brightest smile instead.

“I wanted to see how you were doing. Sorry I took so long... I would’ve come earlier but they needed my help.” Jimin scratches a spot behind his ear, sheepish. “Someone tripped over the cables and smashed a camera lens so we had to find a replacement. The director threw a fit and wanted to call it quits so we’ve been trying to calm him down this entire time. He did - eventually, anyway, after he called his dealer on set.”

A disapproving frown tugs at his mouth corners and mars his otherwise perfect appearance.

You take a moment to swoon internally. You’ll never get tired of admiring your boyfriend. Unlike the majority of the on-set personnel, he doesn’t reek of weed or booze or stale cigarette smoke. His ironed clothes and immaculate appearance always make it easy to spot him amidst the hungover crew.

“That’s fine! I kept myself busy.”

Jimin returns your smile, his eyes creasing into beautiful half-moon crescents. You don’t know what kind of love-struck expression covers your face but next to you Seokjin makes a noise that sounds like a cross between a gag and a cough.

“Oh! Here, I brought snacks. I didn’t know what you liked so I just grabbed everything I could get my hands on.” He holds up a paper plate stacked with treats no doubt stolen from the catering service. “I know I kind of went overboard but I wanted to make sure you kept your sugar level up.”

“That’s sweet of you,” you coo, reaching to take the plate from him. He’s piled on the sweets so high that it’s a miracle nothing has toppled over yet. You aren’t especially hungry but take a bite out of a chocolate candy to show how much you appreciate the effort. Its gooey consistency melts on your tongue, the taste so sweet it sticks to your teeth.

“How adorable,” chimes in Seokjin, his hand grabbing a licorice stick from the mountain of candy before you can swat him away. “Thanks Jongmin.”

“Jimin,” he corrects good-naturedly, his smile not budging an inch. You think, privately, that’s what you like the most about him. Not many have the ability to block out Seokjin’s bullshit so effectively.

“Mmh,” your manager says around a mouthful of candy. “Seokjin. Pleasure.”

You elbow him while gritting your teeth. “Can you...give us a moment?”

Seokjin swallows down the treat and opens his mouth in protest. He has the audacity to look betrayed. “You’re kicking me out of our room so the two of you can get it on? Really?” 

Jimin’s cheeks flush and you quickly cut in before your agent can make matters worse.

"I just want to talk without you breathing down my neck. Weren’t you going off earlier about how I didn’t need adult supervision anymore? Well?”

“Fine. Fine! But you owe me. Again.” He grabs his portable phone charger from the vanity table before making his exit. “And don’t forget what we talked about!”

What a fucking drama queen. You have no idea why he always insists on making a scene when you know for a fact that he would’ve left of his own volition in five minutes anyway. For reasons he has no trouble disclosing, he can’t stand Jimin’s presence.

“I won’t,” you grumble just so that you can get him out of your hair faster.

The door slams shut with more force than strictly necessary. Silence hangs in the air for a brief moment before Jimin turns his warm gaze towards you.

“What was that about?” 

“Uh, nothing. You know how he is...” You play with the ends of your braided hair. “He can’t go very long without throwing a tantrum.’

“He seems very protective of you,” remarks Jimin, a thoughtful expression painting his angelic face. “I think that’s why he’s not that fond of me.”

“Nonsense,” you rebut immediately as you take his hands in yours. “Who could ever not like you?”

Jimin allows his lips to quirk into a small, self-deprecating smile that you promptly erase with a kiss. His lips feel pillow-soft against yours, and you let yoruself indulge in the feeling before pulling back.

You sigh, remembering the scene you’ve yet to film. “If only my co-star was you.”

He laughs at that. “Seokjin would probably throw a fit, huh?”

.

.

Jimin treats you to dinner that night.

He chooses the restaurant. It’s a small, quaint place, tucked into a hidden corner just minutes away from the bustling main street of the shopping district. It’s not the kind of place people stumble across by accident but judging by the occupied tables, business is doing fine by reputation alone.

The owner comes out to greet Jimin by name. They exchange warm greetings, the woman asking him how his brother’s been doing and whether he’ll stop by anytime soon.

“Ah - I’m not sure... You know how he is... I’ll let him know you said hi.”

“Tell him I’ll give him an extra serving of ribs. That was his favorite, right?”

When her eyes trail over Jimin’s shoulder and spot you, she grins so wide you’d think she won the lottery or something. “Park Jimin! You’ve gone and found a girlfriend! And so pretty, too. Ah, really...time sure flies by. I remember when you first started coming here - and now!”

You smile back, greeting her with a polite handshake. The owner is quick to usher you into a small booth in the back. She hands you the menus while patting Jimin on his shoulder. “I’ll get you drinks. It’s on the house.”

“You don’t have to do that!” protests Jimin, shaking his head. “Really. It’s not—”

“Nonsense.” She waves a hand at him. “You’ll get two more if you keep that up, Park Jimin.”

Once she knows she’s earned Jimin’s compliance, she leaves with a satisfied smile. You can tell by their genuine interactions that she’s close to Jimin. Family, perhaps? Either way, this isn’t a place Jimin tracked down on yelp. He flips through the menu with ease, like he’s done it hundreds of times before. 

“Sorry about that,” he says once she’s out of earshot. “I used to come here all the time with my family when we all still lived here. They moved and live in a different town now so we haven’t had a meal together here in years, but. I still come here. The food is good, of course, but - I dunno. I have good memories here so I thought I’d share it with you. It sounds stupid now.”

He laughs quietly, cheeks flushed a pretty pink. 

“I love it.” You can’t help but smile, cheeks hurting from the force of it. Invisible liquor runs through your bloodstream, a ball of warmth unfurling in your belly. “Thank you.”

A pause ensues. It’s one of those moments in which you’re unsure if you’ve said too much or not enough. Being here with Jimin means a lot. You’re not the most verbose person but you hope that Jimin can feel your sincerity.

Maybe your stare comes off as too intense because Jimin breaks the eye contact and clears his throat.

He fiddles with his earring and says, “The food is really good!”

Pink dots his cheeks as he attempts to change the subject. “I don’t know how long the place has been around for but the food is exactly the same. Apparently it’s the sauce they use? Auntie still won’t share the recipes with me and I’ve known her since I was a kid.”

He chatters on, gaining confidence when he notices you’re not put off or bored by his numerous anecdotes. As time passes by, he’s visibly more relaxed. His laugh is more natural, less restrained, like he’s using all the muscles in his face and not just the ones near his mouth.

It’s a stark difference from the first date, you think. Back then he had come off as quite shy, preferring to let you lead the conversation, only offering up tidbits from time to time. Now the conversation flows easily. Nothing feels forced or awkward and - it’s nice. The normalcy of it. Like a hot cup of tea before bed or the scent of the fabric softener your mother uses. It’s something you find comfort in, that you can see yourself coming back to and not growing tired of.

Seokjin can say what he wants - that Jimin’s too uninteresting, that you’re too mismatched of a couple - whatever. 

Jimin likes you for you.

When you’re out on dates or when the two of you talk on the phone late into the evening, he rarely brings up your job. Instead, he asks you questions about your favorite TV shows, your dipping sauce preferences, the first album you purchased. These small details might seem inconsequential to others but to you, they’re a welcome breath of fresh air.

For all the talks of Jimin being too average and too normal, men like him are in reality surprisingly hard to come by.

Because what you haven’t failed to notice since you began your career as a porn star is that people love the idea of you. People who avidly watch you from their laptop screen in the comfort of their own home think that you’re some type of sex goddess - that you’re basically up for anything. In their minds, you’re a fun girl who loves sex, all kinds of sex, any kind of sex, and who doesn’t have any qualities or attributes other than making people cum until their limbs go numb.

Your feelings? Not really important. Feelings would make you human and being human would ruin their favorite fantasy.

That’s what takes you a while to learn - you don’t get paid to have sex, you get paid to sell dreams.

It doesn’t bother you at first. In a way, you think, it’s like acting. The porn star people jerk off to daily is a character you play, a mask you can take off at your leisure once the camera director yells ‘cut!’.

Very quickly, you learn people don’t share the same sentiment. To them, the line that distinguishes you from your job persona isn’t blurry - it simply doesn’t exist.

In the beginning, you’d stayed optimistic. Once people get to know you past the image they’ve built up in their heads, surely they’ll realize you’re not a sex-craved addict who only has dick on the brain, right? But with every new date you accept to go on, the reality of your situation only leaves room for disappointment and barely reigned in revulsion.

Even in non-romantic situations, people let you down. Old classmates, neighbors... It pisses you off that they assume you have no self-worth just because you’re a sex worker. Stevie from 308 down the hall once tried throwing crumpled bills at you, expecting you to crawl over to him for a fifty. The memory is enough to set your blood boiling. You can’t wait until you earn big enough bucks to move out of your shitty apartment into a nice high-rise penthouse, away and above all the scum of the Earth.

“You okay?” asks Jimin, noticing the crease that burrows your brow. “The food alright?”

You blink several times, belatedly realizing you had zoned out. Guilt and embarrassment well up within you.

“M’yeah,” you swallow down the spoonful of stew stuffed in your mouth. “Sorry.”

Jimin chews his bottom lip. Finally, he settles with, “Tell me if I’m boring you.”

“No, no! You’re not.” His evident doubt does nothing to alleviate the sudden nausea swarming your lower belly. “I’m serious, Jimin. I’m - Sorry if I gave off that impression. I just - I have a lot on my mind but you’re lovely. I’d tell you if you were - you know. Promise.”

“Would you? Sometimes I think you’re too nice.” It’s not delivered as an insult, but it doesn’t exactly sound like praise, either. 

You force out a snort. “Heh. Wish you’d tell Seokjin that.”

“He’s not too cross with me, is he?” Jimin’s expression looks awkward, like he’s forcing his facial muscles to stay relaxed and mien nonchalant.

“Wh- oh, you mean because of earlier? He isn’t. That’s not him being angry. It’s not even you. It’s me. We just have - a slight difference in opinions, I suppose. If you can even call it that.”

“He doesn’t want you to date me,” concludes Jimin.

The frustrations you’d repressed earlier in the day come back. Why does Seokjin’s opinion matter? You huff, putting your spoon down.

“He’s not my dad. And even if he was, I’m grown. I can make my own decisions.” You roll your eyes. “Don’t worry about him. He’ll get over it... It’s not like it’s any of his business in the first place.”

“Still...” Jimin says, unsure. “He’s your agent. I wouldn’t want the relation between you to sour because of me.”

“Honestly, I’m convinced it’s not even you he has a problem with. We talked about it today and I think he’s getting antsy because, um, you know, I haven’t accepted any big offers lately. Like, I’m staying too much in my comfort zone or something. He says that in the long run that can be detrimental to my career.”

It’s a bit strange, discussing your work with Jimin. You both work in the same industry, Jimin as a second camera assistant and you as an adult entertainer, but outside of filming sets, you rarely acknowledge what the other person does for a living.

“Oh.”

“Yeah. He wants me to branch out and try new things.”

“What, you mean anal? Gangbangs?”

“Um, yeah. All that, probably...” You have to blink several times because of the shock of hearing Jimin say that so casually. “...Is that okay?”

“Huh?” Jimin in turn blinks at you, like your question doesn’t properly register. “Oh, yeah, sure. I’m fine with it. You said it’ll be good for your career?”

“Apparently.”

“Then, yeah.” He shrugs like he isn’t bothered by the news at all. “Of course that’s okay.”

A part of you wants to push the issue, ask him why he’d be fine with his girlfriend filming intense sex scenes with random men, but that inner voice is snuffed out before the poisonous thought has time to take root.

Isn’t this what you always wanted? A boyfriend who is accepting and understanding of your profession?

You wash down your worries with a gulp or two of soju, determined not to let your own insecurities ruin the rest of your night.

.

.

Less than 24 hours after you’ve agreed to work on a worthwhile project of Seokjin’s choosing, a slew of texts blow up your phone. 

Unsurprisingly, it’s your agent. A quick scroll through your phone reveals that your agent has left you with no less than 15 messages, 1 voicemail, and 3 e-mails.

It’s...a lot. You’ve grown to expect that kind of fanfare with him. Like any man who deals with legally binding contracts on a daily basis, Seokjin ensures that you keep your word. He can be extremely persuasive when he sets his mind to it. You’ve seen men and women alike succumb to the force of his magnetism. Back when your filmography had solely consisted of amateur sex tapes shot in bad lighting with low-grade filming equipment, Seokjin's charms alone had been sufficient to win over lukewarm casting directors and book you jobs.

SEOKJIN : hey!!!!!!!!

SEOKJIN : ???

SEOKJIN : wow. you’re leaving me on read.........the audacity. 

SEOKJIN : i raised you on my back and this is how you repay me?

SEOKJIN : do you not respect your elders in your household?

SEOKJIN : i swear if you’re blowing me off for jimmy instead of answering your calls .........

SEOKJIN : or blowing jimmy. either one.

SEOKJIN : ok it’s been 10 min. i’m chill but not that chill.

SEOKJIN : can you please stop sucking dick and read your emails. it’s important.

YOU : ever heard of multitasking? god gave us two hands for a reason

SEOKJIN : oh. nasty.

SEOKJIN : way to ruin my lunch.

SEOKJIN : well. suck down that nut sauce asap

SEOKJIN : cos what i sent you needs your undivided attention

YOU : i’m nasty?? me????

YOU : you don’t hear me saying nUT SAUCE you freak

SEOKJIN : nutté sauce

SEOKJIN : there. fixed it.

YOU : ...that’s not even a thing

SEOKJIN : well it should be!

SEOKJIN : adding accents makes it instantly classier, don’t you think? nutté sauce. has a nice ring to it.

SEOKJIN : honestly. sounds like some fancy four star french starter now.

YOU : ???? it absolutely doesn’t but ok

SEOKJIN : imagine. during a scene you just yell out

SEOKJIN : “i’d like a serving of your nutté sauce to go”

YOU : dicks would shrivel up on the spot

SEOKJIN : what? i think it’s brilliant!

SEOKJIN : my talent is wasted as an agent. should’ve been a scriptwriter instead.

YOU : yes i’m sure the oscars are weeping over the missed opportunity

He takes your sarcasm at face value, feeding you more ridiculous variants of faux french cum lingo—that which you very wisely choose not to reply to. Instead of humoring him, you open the .pdf file he’s sent your way, ignoring the near-constant buzzing of your phone as he’s no doubt pestering you for an immediate answer.

Had it not been necessary for business, you’d have blocked his number ages ago. In fact, after that nut sauce comment you’re seriously reconsidering, business obligations be damned. 

To his credit, the film project he suggests you work on doesn't sound half-bad despite its questionable title. Why anyone would choose to name it THE SPERMINATOR is beyond you.

As you read through the proposition, you’re surprised to find it’s tamer than the initial imaginary scenario you’d played out in your head. Expecting to read through a long list of unnameable kinks and dicks, the scene description is rather domestic all things considered.

Your shoulders sag in relief. You enjoy sex as much as the next person, but even you have limits you’re not willing or eager to cross. You’re a human being, first and foremost, and, contrary to popular belief, not competing in the sex olympics.

From what you’ve read so far, nothing in Seokjin’s offer seems too strenuous or perverse. The scene in question is centered around a young, newly married couple trying to conceive for the first time and the sex acts are described as “romantic insemination” - whatever the fuck that means. The only complication you can think of is that you’ve never played the part of a married couple before. None of your previous films specifically target couples or women. Is romance something you can sell accordingly?

You’re quick to shake the concern off once you remember that no one cares if your acting is shit or not. All you probably have to do is yell out ‘Daddy’ a few times mid-thrust and call it a day.

Honestly, you’re a bit disappointed in Seokjin for choosing such a safe, no-risk project - especially since he constantly advocates the risk-return trade off as the way to live by. But you’re not about to start complaining. You’d rather shoot this type of innocuous scenario than ridiculous, hentai-like scenes involving freakish get-ups and toys of monster proportions not realistically made to fit in a vagina.

The deal is perfect. Almost too perfect.

Subconsciously, you must realize something is wrong. Maybe Seokjin’s many lessons have finally rubbed off on you because there’s a persistent voice in your ear warning you that the film proposition is a trap, one that you’ve unfortunately walked straight into.

Your wariness increases when he refuses to send you the script upon request. Alarm bells ring off but by then it’s too late.

“The thing is... Director Ryu wants to try a new type of project," Seokjin says over the phone once you call him up for answers. "He thinks he’s going to pioneer a new genre of porn and revolutionize the industry - his words, not mine.”

“What the hell does that even mean?”

“How do I explain this without you getting the wrong idea..."

“Is this meant to reassure me?!” Dread drips from your tone. You should’ve suspected something was off from the very moment Seokjin suggested to shoot vanilla porn as your next big project. What a joke.

“Calm down, it's not as bad as - whatever you're thinking.” Too bad that his attempts to calm you down have the opposite effect. “He’s been wanting to try out a new improvisation format for his porn movies.”

“Come again?”

A beat of uncomfortable quiet passes. Reluctantly, Seokjin explains, “Which means - there isn’t an actual script to go off of. That’s why I couldn’t send it to you - because there is none. He wants it to be as realistic and natural as possible so he’s looking for actors who can go with their gut and create their own scenario instead of ones who need to be directed.”

Your resounding silence speaks for itself.

Sure, sometimes they provide scripts to act as guidelines, roughly giving the actor an idea of how the scene will unfold, but no one is expected to follow it word for word. Most porn films rely on improvisation rather than scripts because of how notoriously bad porn stars are at acting and memorizing more than a few lines at a time, and the introduction scene never lasts very long anyway for it to make a noticeable difference. Besides, after filming a handful of movies, you’ve noticed the dialogue is more or less all the same.

What bothers you is that this director wants you to carry out a movie that relies heavily on improvised dialogue. Convincingly.

“C’mon,” Seokjin tries when you refuse to deign him with an answer. “It’ll be fun. You like acting, right?”

“Seokjin...” You pinch the bridge of your nose and try to keep your composure in check. “How do I break this down for you? I think you’re forgetting the most crucial detail here - I can’t act! The closest I've ever gotten to acting is faking an orgasm and I’m pretty certain that doesn’t count."

“And you do that very well!" says Seokjin encouragingly. "You'll be fine. Don’t stress over it. Your scenes with Min Yoongi last time were perfectly acceptable!”

“That’s the thing.” Stress makes your voice raise a half-step. “He did, like, 90% of the acting! Back then, all I had to do was moan and act like a slut! Which hardly counts - I was being myself. Whatever this - thing - you’re attempting to rope me into - I’m not qualified for it.”

“Sweetheart, we’re not aiming for the fucking Oscars here.” When he laughs, it’s practiced enough to sound sincere. “At the end of the day, it’s still porn. Nobody’s expecting you to be the next Meryl. And besides,” he presses on, clearly refusing to change his mind. “This is exactly what you need right now. Something fresh, something new. If you pull this off, you’ll gain exposure.”

“If I pull it off. Big if."

“I know it sounds like a gamble. I get it, I do. But remember what I always say? High risk—”

“Yes, yes. High reward. I get it.” Your frown deepens. “There’s no way to know this will work, though.”

“A good co-star already guarantees you half of the success. And luckily for you, the guy they signed on seems like the real deal. He’s hot, you’re hot. People will pay money to see you two fuck regardless of how good or bad the acting is.”

“Well. That’s reassuring,” you say, voice as flat as a board. “Although I suppose watching porn on mute is always an option if it comes to that.”

“It was a joke!” What worries you is that it doesn’t sound like it is. “You have nothing to worry about. I’ve seen some of your co-star’s tapes. He’s got a mouth on him, if you know what I mean. Just let him lead and it’ll go swimmingly.”

“It’s one thing to follow someone’s lead during sex but you want me to - to improvise for God knows how long! That’s just asking for a disaster to happen.”

“You said you were up for a challenge!” Seokjin throws your words back at you, his tone accusing.

“And you said this would be beneficial for my career! How is making a fool out of myself going to help me any? I don’t want to be remembered as the girl who can’t act to save her life.” You want to cry in frustration. If you had wanted to act you would’ve chosen that as your major in college. “I don’t - I can’t do this. I’m not - this isn’t what I signed up for! How do you expect me to convince viewers what they’re watching is real...”

“Just—” Exasperated, he takes a deep breath. Exhales. “Trust me. When have I ever been wrong about film projects.”

Is putting your career at risk really worth it? You’re not sure anymore.

On the bright side, it’ll finally get Seokjin off your back, you reason, trying to remain positive. That in itself is worth celebrating, right?

Fine. You’ll agree to it out of pettiness. Once Seokjin realizes what a terrible idea this entire ordeal is, you won’t hesitate to rub it back in his face. He’ll never hear the end of it.

"Who am I working with, anyway?”

"Ah, hm, well." Hesitation creeps up his voice for the first time, putting you instantly on edge. "...You won't know him. He's new to the scene - got started a month or two ago, I forget."

"Great. Not only am I being used as a lab rat for this director to experiment on but you're also pairing me with a fucking rookie. Jesus.”

"He’s not half bad! He’s not bad at all, actually. I wouldn't be insisting if I didn't trust him not to blow his load early."

"Aren’t I lucky,” you deadpan. “So I don't have to worry about him busting a nut before the director gives the signal?"

“All you’ll have to do is act like a married couple with baby fever,” he talks over you, ignoring your overflowing sarcasm. “And how hard can that be? You’ve been loved up with Jumin for a month now - that’s plenty enough practice if you ask me. I know you’ll be able to sell that romantic shit to the public without too much trouble.”

“It’s Jimin,” you correct from force of habit.

You’re promptly ignored — not that you expected anything less from him.

"Just give it a thought? And get back to me when you make up your mind. The sooner the better. The offer won't stay on the table forever." Even over the line, you can picture Seokjin raising his eyebrows at you, expectant. “If you’re serious about this job, you know what you have to do.”

You both know that you’ll accept the offer. Seokjin’s got you all figured out. As much as you don’t like being pushed around, the need to prove yourself is your main driving factor. The acquaintances who sneer at you, the family members who’ve shun you, the peers who expect you to burn out after the five month mark—you’d rather roll over and die than prove their misconceptions right.

It’s a matter of pride when you sniff and reply, “I’ll think about it.”

But the decision is already made before the call ends.

.

.

SCENE 02 - THE SPERMINATOR. TAKE 02. ROLL B. 

.

Eight days later you find yourself squeezed into a brazenly short dress that zips in the front, more fit for a night out in a club than a dinner at home. It’s so ridiculously tight, you feel like a prey being swallowed down by a snake. There’s no room to breathe. You can’t wait for the scene to start, if only so you can dispose of the piece of fabric and never wear it again.

Unfortunately, your outfit gets worse because thrown over the clubbing attire is a frilly apron with small hearts embroidered along the hem. The mismatch is jarring. You’re not sure what look the stylist is going for but the end result is very...peculiar.

You comfort yourself with the knowledge that it could always be worse.

A quick glance at the digital clock on your phone confirms that you’re running on time. Good. After your last gig, the last thing you want is to spend hours waiting for the personnel to set up the cameras and sound equipment correctly.

Thankfully, today’s team works like a well-oiled machine. All that’s left are the last-minute preparations before the shoot begins.

Your false eyelashes are still drying when Seokjin elbows you sharply in the ribs. You crack open an eye to glare at him. “Ouch - ah, seriously? What is it now?”

“That’s him, that’s him!” Seokjin whispers under his breath, his gaze glued to a point somewhere beyond your shoulder. “Wooow. Aren’t you a lucky bitch? I’d gargle his nutté sauce for breakfast, if you get what I mean. He looks way better in person, damn.”

“Firstly - please never say that out loud again.” You fake a gag. “How do I buy myself a new set of ears?”

Seokjin ignores your dramatics. He shoots you a look. “You let that last guy draw a starfish on your face with his crème de la nut but did you hear me go sick?”

“That’s not the same and you know it!” Your jaw drops in indignation. “And can you stop trying to make nut cream a thing for the love of—”

“What’s this about nut cream?”

You whip your head around, mortification already etched onto your features. Your mouth opens, defense at the ready, only for your throat to clamp up.

“Oh.” You blink up in surprise because - well, Seokjin’s earlier assessment isn’t embellished. The guy is fit as fuck.

You’d seen photos in passing, had even googled his name out of curiosity, but the two-dimensional version of him pales to his real life physique. There’s a sharpness to his features that the camera fails to pick up on, a vibrancy that gets lost in the medium. 

“Hey. I’m Hoseok.” His grip is firm, assertive, and your eyes naturally wander over his form. The loose muscle tee he’s thrown on puts his toned arms on display and makes it easier to admire the seemingly endless expanse of sun-kissed skin. He’s neither too thick nor too spindly, his muscles lean and firm instead of bulging. Strong but not intimidating. “I look forward to working with you.”

“Likewise.” You swallow, mouth dry.

You expect him to leave it at that like most of your past co-stars usually do. Or worse - for him to abandon all pretenses and cross lines that aren’t meant to be crossed. As someone who has experienced it all - from standoffish to creepy and vile - nothing surprises you anymore.

But unlike your, admittedly low, expectations, his gaze is warm and friendly. He speaks smoothly, leaving no time for an awkward silence to instill itself.

“Yeah, I know who you are! I saw a video or two of yours before - you were featured on the agency’s main page last month, right? Fuckin’ genius, by the way. Best stuff I’ve seen in a long ass time.” An easy grin sits on his face, nothing about it fake or contrived. “I hope we get along today. I haven’t done much work myself - yet anyway - but I hope this can be a good experience for the both of us.”

“You’ll be in good hands,” Seokjin assures, patting your shoulder like a proud parent. “_____ here is the best talent I’ve signed on.”

“That I can believe,” Hoseok chimes, his smile never waning. “I’ve heard good stuff about you. I won’t lie - it reassured me a fuck ton when I heard I’d be working with you. The stuff we’re doing is, well, it’s a bit of a gamble at this point, but I’m sure it’ll go well because I’ll be working with you.”

For a brief, embarrassing moment, you’re robbed of words, unable to respond to his flattery. From experience, you know to be wary of guys like him. Whenever someone lays it on thick they always have an ulterior motive. But what could possibly be his?

“Seokjin’s saying that because I’m the only one who can stand his nagging,” you finally say, your shoulders stiff. Maybe it’s because you’ve just met, but it’s hard to figure him out and it doesn’t help that you’re naturally wary of strangers.

“Oh hush. You love me.” Sensing how guarded you’ve become, Seokjin mercifully offers you an out. “It was nice meeting you, Hoseok. Wish we could stay and chat but she has to get ready to film the pre-interview portion.”

“Oh yeah, that’s cool. Catch you later.”

You offer a quick smile he returns tenfold, its brightness momentarily dazzling you.

Slightly dazed from the intensity of it, you stagger behind Seokjin, sun spots dotting your vision. Your surroundings blur together as your mind tries to recover from the interaction.

“Sooooooooo?” Seokjin sing-songs once you’ve walked far enough to be out of earshot. His brows are raised knowingly, an infuriating type of smugness clinging to his features. “What did I tell you! He’s hot enough to single-highhandedly melt a glacier, huh?”

You scoff, not willing to admit anything. “He’s okay.”

“Oh c’mon. He’s baby daddy material for sure. Which works out well for you since he’s gonna pump one into you later.”

For once the grimace that crosses your face isn’t exaggerated. “Please. Stop. Talking. I’m this close to heaving out my lunch.”

You’re not even joking with that one. Attractive as Hoseok may be, any talk of baby-making is enough to dissipate any smidgens of lust.

The reminder of what the upcoming scene entails and the expectations people carry crash down on you like a pile of bricks. Although you’ve done your best to ignore the fact you’ll be acting today, the meeting with Hoseok yanks you harshly back to reality.

You’re going to act. As a married couple. Trying to conceive a baby.

Three things that have never, ever been on your bucket list are now about to be crossed out in the span of the same afternoon. To that you can only say - what the fuck is my life.

Like a mounting wave before the inevitable crash, panic crests within you. You feel it gradually build and build, flooding your lungs and every crevice of your body with overwhelming anxiety.

Seokjin sighs. “How are you going to make it through today? The whole point of the sex scene is to get you pregnant. Or fake pregnant. You know what I mean.”

“Um...” You try to laugh but it comes out shaky. Seokjin shoots you a concerned look. “I’ll be fine! Really! I can do it. It’s just acting like you said, right? It’s not like he’s actually gonna knock me up in real life. So. Totally fine. It’s fine. Perfect.”

Seokjin’s concern grows. His eyebrows pinch together and his expression turns serious. He asks with no trace of mockery, “Are you okay?”

“I’m okay!” you reply. It’s too rushed of an answer to convince him. Your palms feel clammy and you wipe them off your damned apron. “Just. Nervous. Y’know.”

His steps slow to a halt and he places a warm, heavy hand on your shoulder. The weight, familiar and comforting, grounds you to reality. “Hey. What’s there to be nervous about? You got this.”

“Yeah.” You nod. Maybe if you say it enough times you’ll trick yourself into believing it. “I’ve got this.”

“Look. Let me be honest for a second. I’ve been an agent for eight years now and I’ve seen a lot of talents come and go. No pun intended.” You smile back at him weakly. “You’ve got something...extra a lot of them lacked. I knew the moment I saw you on film you’d go far. The energy you bring onscreen is insane. I know today might seem new and strange - but so was your first ever professionally shot film, right? And you got through that fine. You’ll do great. I know it. And, not to toot my own horn, but I’m always right.”

That earns him a laugh. The nerves are still there but thanks to his pep talk it’s easier to breathe.

Despite being a big pain in the ass, Seokjin is exemplary at his job. Without him, you’re acutely aware you wouldn’t have gotten half as far as you have. Having him by your side is a reassurance in itself.

Someone calls your name, pulling you from your thoughts. When you turn around, you’re face to face with the round, bespectacled face of Director Ryu. You reckon he’s in his early forties but he acts younger than his age. It’s your first time working with him but so far he’s been nice enough, if a little full of himself. Not that you’re unaccustomed with working alongside conceited colleagues.

“Oh good, you’re back. You can get seated for the interview bit.” He points over to a chair placed in front of a pale yellow wall. From close up, you can see a paint job is in order, the old coat chipping off in several places. “Alright, this won’t last long - just need you to answer some questions on tape and we’ll be good to go.”

“Sure thing.” You nod and follow his directions, sitting still while the hair and make-up artist steps up to give your lips a final touch-up.

Strictly speaking, the before and after interviews aren’t a necessity. In your experience, directors mostly film the short question-and-answer sequence when you’re set to film hardcore sex scenes as a way to show viewers everything is consensual and that you thoroughly enjoyed the experience despite whatever might have transpired on screen.

You reckon the director wants to film you today to document the process behind his “groundbreaking film project”. Cue roll of eyes.

Somebody needs to tell him he isn’t inventing anything, you think while watching him fiddle with the camera until he’s completely satisfied with the angle. All he’s done so far is add unnecessary pressure on you. You hope Hoseok is faring better because the amount of performance anxiety you’re experiencing is an instant boner killer.

“You nervous?” the director asks once he’s done adjusting the camera lens.

While by some standards you’re still considered a newbie in the industry, you’ve done this enough times to fall into a routine. Wake-up, breakfast, get ready, arrive before call time, fill out all the paperwork and get ready to shoot your solo stills. It’s familiar enough that you’ve long stopped getting pre-performance jitters.

Today’s rush of anxiety is as surprising as it is unwelcome. They don’t want to hear that particular truth though, so you keep your reply sweet and bubbly.

“Nah,” you grin, wide and easy. “I’m super excited to film today!”

“Oh yeah? Is it perhaps because of your co-star?”

Your smile freezes for a second. Somewhere over the director’s shoulder you can see Seokjin nodding enthusiastically while giving you the double thumbs up. “Hoseok? He’s hot, sure.”

“Ooh. Already on a first name basis?”

“Hm?” you let out a noise of polite confusion, only belatedly realizing that his viewers know him better as his porn alias, J-Hope. But there’s no way in hell you’re going to yell that out loud while he’s fucking an orgasm out of you. Not only does it sound ridiculous but it’ll shatter whatever carefully crafted illusion you manage to build. “Um, yes. We’re getting to know each other. He’s very friendly.”

“I’m sure he is.” And there’s an implication there that doesn’t sit too well with you but thankfully Director Ryu chooses to move on and put that particular subject to rest.

“You ever shoot an insemination scene before?”

“Not yet.” You make sure to keep the smile on your face even if your cheeks are beginning to hurt. “I can’t wait to get to it. It’s a fantasy I’ve always had but never tried out for myself. I’m excited to film a first on camera!”

The director has yet to call you out for your bullshit so you slowly start to relax. Acting is a bit like lying, isn’t it? Maybe you can get through today after all.

You breeze through the rest of the questions, forcing out practiced laughs here and there all whilst keeping your voice syrupy sweet. It’s quick work, especially when you know what to expect. Before you know it, it’s already time to film the pièce de résistance. Everyone that’s allowed on set during filming filters into the kitchen, conversations between crew members dying down as they use their last recreational moments to check their phones.

The director’s filming style exempts you from shooting the customary pre-shoot sex stills which are essentially promotional pictures of you and and your partner in every sex position that you’ll be filming for real later on. You’re thankful for that, at least. Even with all of your on-camera experience, staying perfectly silent and still with someone’s dick inside you is no easy feat. It’s worse when you have to keep eye contact with your co-star and fake sexual gratification because the shot calls for it.

Hoseok waves at you from the other side of the room, the hair and makeup artist dusting some powder across the slope of his nose.

How can he look so relaxed?! You’re barely holding your lunch down. Honestly, it’s a miracle you’re able to now tat the butterflies are back in full force, making a mess of your stomach.

You feel queasy but try not to make it too obvious even as Seokjin comes around to check up on you. The last thing you want to do is make a scene, especially when your onscreen counterpart's demeanor is making you look amateurish in comparison.

Maybe Hoseok is a better actor than you’re able to give most porn stars credit for because try as you might, you fail to detect any nervous undercurrent in his tone. For someone who is supposedly starring in his first major project, he doesn’t seem all too bothered about how it might play out.

How does he do it?! In all honesty, if Seokjin hadn’t informed you of his rookie status, you would be none the wiser.

There’s an ease with which he carries himself, a fluidity in his movements that belies no anxiety or awkwardness. Even from this distance you can tell that there’s never a hint of hesitation in his movements or speech; he doesn’t seem self-conscious in the least. He talks and moves with the assurance of someone who has been in the industry for months, not weeks.

In that moment you envy him. You’re so nervous about the upcoming scene that it’s hard to feign an air of professional detachment.

His boisterous laugh is loud enough to carry across the room and interrupt your line of thought. When you look over at him again, you find him folded in half, hands clutching his sides, and wearing a grin so bright it eclipses the entirety of his face.

“He seems nice.”

You jump, startled by Jimin’s sudden appearance. You hadn’t even heard him draw near. With a sheepish expression, you turn to look up at him only to find him already staring off into the distance. There’s a strange look painting his face, and a small crease in his brow that usually isn’t present. When you follow his line of sight, you’re met with the image of Hoseok talking animatedly to the the small crowd that’s flocked around him.

“Yeah.” You aren’t sure what else to say. Although there’s no sarcasm attached to his words, you can’t help but find Jimin unnaturally tense.

Which makes sense, you concede guiltily. A mere stranger is minutes away from dicking down his girlfriend. You’re not sure how you’d feel if you were to stand in his shoes.

You breathe in deep, silently willing away the knot of distress in your belly. There’s nothing wrong with what you’re doing. It’s just a job. A profession that Jimin has always been fully aware of, even before you’d begun dating.

Even as you remind yourself of the facts, it does little to dispel the lingering feelings of doubt and guilt.

“Hey.” Jimin frowns at you in concern. “You alright?”

“Yep!” you say then immediately sigh, knowing that lying to your boyfriend is pointless. “I’m just a bit nervous.”

“Nervous?” Jimin’s worry grows, the crease in his brow deepening. “What about?”

“Just—” You gesture around with your hands. “All of this.”

“Oh.” He looks genuinely surprised. “But you don’t usually get nervous... Is it the impregnation thing you’ll have to do? I know you’ve said you’re not a big fan of that. Or... Is it something else?”

“I don’t know,” you answer truthfully. It’s a bit of everything yet at the same time nothing you can clearly pinpoint and put a finger on. In all logic, you know that you’re feeling disproportionately stressed out but you can’t stop yourself from feeling how you feel. “It’s not that I don’t want to film. I just - I’m worried I won’t do well.”

Jimin takes your hand between his, running a thumb in soothing circles across the surface of your skin. He repeats the motion several times until your heartbeat is completely synced to his touch.

“You’ll do great. You always do.” The lines of his mouth bend into a smile. “I’ll be on the sidelines cheering you on.”

“My very own cheerleader.” You allow yourself to relax and and smile back fondly.

As much as you worry about Jimin being upset with you filming sex scenes with other actors, he’s never been anything less than the supporting boyfriend you’ve always dreamed of. Seokjin calls Jimin’s constant presence on set maddening, but you’re thankful that your boyfriend sticks by your side while others might flee or shame you.

Suddenly, you’re overcome with emotion. Maybe it’s the stress, or maybe today you’re more hormonal than usual, but your eyes threaten to well up as you grip his palm tightly in your own. “Jimin, I—”

“Okay, lovebirds!” Seokjin claps his hands once, effectively ruining your moment. “Hand-holding time is over. We’re moving onto the more R-rated stuff.”

“Seokjin!” you hiss, upset over his horrible timing.

“It’s fine.” Jimin shakes his head. “He’s right, shoot’s about to start anytime soon. I need to get ready, too.”

“Right.”

Reluctantly, you let go of Jimin’s hand.

“Don’t pout.” He laughs and presses a quick, chaste kiss to your mouth. “I’ll wait for you after filming and we can go grab dinner. Italian sound fine?”

“Yes, yes, yes.” You bob your head eagerly. “I’m literally dying for carbs. Italian sounds more than perfect.”

“Good.” 

You can’t resist sneaking in one last peck before Jimin retreats behind the cameras and you’re pulled to stand in front of a granite kitchen tabletop. Director Ryu is waiting for you, Hoseok already by his side.

From close-up, your co-star looks even more striking. The make-up artist’s work highlights his features without going overboard. The lines of his face are sharp, like every single one has been meticulously drawn. What usually would give someone a hostile and unapproachable impression is balanced out by the liveliness that lights up his eyes and his wide smile that looks almost too big for his face.

“It’ll start in the kitchen and then we’ll work out way to the bedroom.” Director Ryu points down the hallway. “I was thinking of keeping it all in the bedroom but nothing screams domesticity more than kitchen scenes, right?”

“Uh-huh.” You give a polite nod. Next to you, Hoseok coughs into his fist.

“Depending on how this goes we might have to take several takes - just keep that in mind.”

That’s nothing out of the ordinary. Sex scenes are never filmed in one take. There’s always one thing or another - a smoke break, a flaccid dick, a lighting fixture that needs to be changed. A 45 minute porn movie is the result of the editing team that painstakingly goes through, cuts and assembles hours of footage.

“Remember,” Director Ryu instructs, one hand cocked on his hips. “You’re still stuck in that honeymoon phase. All the two of you want to do is fuck like horny bunnies but your husband’s been away all day. Both of you have been waiting for this reunion for hours and hours. I want to feel that level of tension, got it?”

Hoseok nods like a dutiful student, his expression comically serious. You’d laugh if it wasn’t so inappropriate.

“Yep. Ok. Got it.”

You just want the director to stop talking so that you can get this over with quickly. The monologue is just delaying the inevitable.

Director Ryu spends extra minutes setting up the scene, emphasizing how in love and passionate the two of you should behave, describing how long you’ve been wanting to try for a baby, going into explicit detail about what the sex scenes should convey to the viewers. He just goes on and on and on with no end it sight.

At this point even Hoseok is growing restless. His feet refuse to stay still and his eyes dart around the room as if his attention is drawn elsewhere. It’s Hoseok’s constant fidgeting that draws Director Ryu out of his monologue. He finally senses that there’s a unanimous decision to start filming and retires behind the camera to settle himself in his appointed chair.

Hoseok shares a long look with you. “Is he always like that?”

“God, I hope not.” You lower your voice to whisper, “Seokjin - my agent - he says apparently Director Ryu wanted to make a career off of documentaries once he graduated from film school but quickly switched genres once he saw how little filming the mating habits of koalas was earning him.”

“Ah,” Hoseok nods conspiratorially before his features shift into something more serious. “Hey. Before we start, is there anything you’re not comfortable with? I know this scene is supposed to lean towards vanilla but you never know... I’d rather make sure. Just in case.”

You blink, taken aback. Hard limits aren’t really discussed outside of hardcore scenes. Sure, everyone is given a safeword before shoots begin but even screaming out “STOP!” or “Can we take a break from filming?” is enough to put the filmed scene on hold.

“Ah... No. I’m okay. But thanks for asking.” A moment passes and you add, “Is there - are there any words or kinks that bother you?”

Hoseok shakes his head. “Not for this one. Just - if there’s anything you’d rather me not say or do, don’t hesitate.”

You nod in reply, not sure of what else to say. Unfortunately your past experiences with men have made you suspicious of any form of flattery or kindness.

Soon, though, you relax. What reason is there for Hoseok to deceive you? Maybe he still has that rookie mindset. You can relate to the eagerness and the desire to do well you’d had in your early days of filming.

“Alright. Good luck, Hoseok.”

His smile is so bright that it erases your previous doubts. Surely someone with ill-intentions wouldn’t be able to smile like that, right? You return a tentative smile of your own. Something akin to understanding seems to pass between you. Although you don’t know Hoseok and he doesn’t know you, you trust him enough for this scene.

The moment is broken when Director Ryu directs Hoseok to wait outside the camera’s line of vision and you’re left alone in front of the kitchen stove.

Any moment now, you think. A telltale silence falls over the staff members as they all anticipate the director’s signal for the scene to start.

The first few seconds are always tricky. You’re no actress. There’s no switch inside of you that flips on and off as soon as the director commands “ACTION!” and “CUT!”. The world around you doesn’t fade out, your ‘porn star persona’ doesn’t claw its way out from within you and lunge for the nearest available dick. Sometimes, if you’re not attracted to your onscreen partner, you find your mind drifting off, making an inventory of your fridge and wondering what you’ll be able to cook up for dinner with two eggs and leftover rice.

When Director Ryu shouts “ACTION!” and slams down the plate, you freeze up. Usually you have an idea of what to say or do, but the words and actions won’t come to you this time.

Someone behind the cameras lets out a light cough. Oh right, you blink down at the simmering pot of water in front of you. The cameras are recording you making an utter fool out of yourself.

The spike of humiliation forces you into action. You’re more professional than this, damn it. You give the water a tentative stir, movements wooden and stiff. It’s hard to concentrate. All you can do is watch as the water simmers to a boil, the sound of bubbling water like a roaring current in your ears.

A door creaks open, signalling your onscreen husband’s return home.

To your horror, you find that you’re unable to move, as if your limbs had forgotten their primary function.

Before the scene had started, you had envisioned yourself throwing yourself into the arms of your loving husband and welcoming him home with a shower of kisses and words of affection. You had internally rehearsed it, had even thought of what you could say to him between pecks, but the reality is far removed from what you had practiced.

“Darling?” Hoseok’s voice is soft but loud enough for you to hear him over the angry sounds of boiling water. The vowels he uses are rounded, different from the bright pep in his tone from earlier. 

You want to respond but your tongue feels like lead, too heavy in your mouth to articulate and form the proper reply. What are you supposed to call him, anyway? Honey? Hoseok? A nickname derived from his name? What do newlywed spouses call each other? Why couldn’t you give this more thought before the cameras began rolling?

Panic balloons inside you, threatening to burst. For a terrifying and mortifying second, you think that you’ve gone and ruined everything. The muscles in your shoulders bunch up and you half-expect the director to shout ‘CUT!’, give you a public scolding for missing your cue and berate you for your overall ineptitude.

Hoseok’s arms wrap around your middle before you have time to agonize any further. Just as you suspected, his arms are strong, the lean muscles flexing as he readjusts his hold around your waist. What you don’t expect, however, is the unadulterated warmth he radiates. His body burns hot; even through the layers of clothing separating the two of you, his warmth seeps through. But it’s strangely comfortable, not unlike basking in the afternoon sun during the last days of summer. You let yourself melt into his embrace.

“You’re not even going to say hi?”

With your back turned to him, you can’t be sure, but you imagine the pout playing at his lips. He tucks his chin in the crook of your shoulder. If he feels any awkwardness, he doesn’t let it show.

Miraculously, your mouth seems to be in working order again. It takes you a few seconds too long to find the appropriate answer, but it finally comes before the director can cut in to make any remarks.

“If I turn around right now, I won’t be able to keep my hands off of you,” you explain. “And - I don’t want to ruin our dinner.”

Just to keep up the pretense, you add a handful of spaghetti into the pot of water.

Hoseok lets out a hum from behind you. He’s standing close enough for you to feel the vibrations low in his throat.

“I hate it,” he says after a stretch of silence.

You pout. “What? My cooking? What’s wrong with it?”

“No, silly. I hate -” he sighs, buries his face in your neck before looking back up so the camera can capture his expression. “I hate not being with you. I missed this.”

He hugs you from behind before kissing your neck. It starts off innocuous - his lips pressing short, chaste kisses down the column of your throat. Quickly, however, his mouth lingers on your skin.

“Ah - don’t. I’m cooking!” you shriek when his teeth scrape over a sensitive spot under your jaw. Your protests are half-hearted and go by unacknowledged. The pot of pasta could overflow right now and no one would care, least of all you.

Hoseok noses your neck while he tightening his grip around your waist, the movement bringing his hips flush against your lower back. You give the pot in front of you a very unenthusiastic stir, attention focused instead on the way his lips tenderly skim the surface of your skin, testing and teasing. The sensation feels nice - and keeps your mind off of the several cameras directed your way.

“But I went all day missing my princess,” he sighs, open mouthed against your neck. “Spent all day thinking about you.”

“Y-you did?”

“Mhm.” He gives your exposed shoulder a peck. Then another. “Thought about your cute little laugh.”

His line catches you off guard. Your mouth opens but no sound comes out.

Porn is often crude and to the point. You’re used to men complimenting your body parts or praising your skills in bed. You’d never minded, either. But Hoseok’s choice of words make you eager in a different way.

“What else?”

“Well, your cooking, for sure. Without you I’d be eating out of ramyeon packets for breakfast, lunch and dinner.”

You let out a snort.

“That’s true. Your cooking is so horrible it’s offensive.”

“Hey now. Don’t be mean.” He pokes your cheek before pinching your chin to turn your head towards him. “I can cook a decent omelet.”

Hoseok’s a good few inches taller than you so you have to strain your neck to be able to look him in the eyes. The slight discomfort barely registers. You’re too transfixed by the way he stares at you. It’s hard to place the expression because you’ve never seen it on a fellow actor before. Normally, the men you work with stare you down with hungry and lustful intent, but there’s none of that in Hoseok’s gaze.

The expression on his face cannot be described as innocent, either. He licks his lips, drawing your attention to the pretty lines of his mouth delicately curved into a smile.

“I missed the way you feel in my arms.” His voice sounds deeper, this time. “I missed holding you close to me. Kissing you. Reminding you how much I love you. I missed the look in your eyes when - “

“When?”

He smirks. “You sure you want to hear it? What if you can’t keep your hands off of me after? I don’t want to be held responsible for soggy pasta.”

“Hoseok,” you whine, one of your hands reaching down to slap at the hold around your stomach. 

He tightens his hold around you and your breath hitches, suddenly all too aware of how firm his body feels behind you. The smirk on his face widens as he leans forward to confess his next words.

“I was thinking about how I miss the look on your face whenever I make your pussy sloppy with my cum.”

“Hoseok!”

One moment he’s crooning sweet words of affection, the next he’s spitting out filth. The quick back-and-forth gives you whiplash but you can’t say you dislike it. Unlike the tired and overused clichéd porn scenarios you’ve filmed in the past, Hoseok’s unpredictable behavior has the advantage of keeping you on your toes.

“You missed it too, hm?” He kisses your neck, lips soft and warm. “Kept thinking about how pretty you sound. So, so pretty. Especially when I give you what you want.”

“How would you know what I want?” You turn your head forwards so you can pretend to check up on the cooking pasta. “You were away all day.”

Hoseok’s eyes flash dangerously.

“How would I know?” he parrots back, his tone sweet and mocking. Something about it sends tingles down your spine and has you standing up straighter. “I always know what my pretty wife wants. I know because your body can’t lie to me.”

His hands wander, one of them inching up the material of your frilly apron to reach between your breasts. The movement is slow enough for a camera to zoom in and follow its trail. Hoseok rests his hand on your left breast and gives it a squeeze.

“See?” He repeats the action. “Your heart’s racing like crazy.”

You swallow audibly, finding it hard to come up with a witty riposte.

He continues with a chuckle, “You can’t deny it, can you? Your body’s too honest for your own good. It’s okay. You don’t have to say you missed me. I know.”

His self-assured way of talking makes it easier for you to react. This - the cockiness, the playfulness - you’re familiar with.

You roll your eyes and continue to give the pot in front of you a few additional stirs only for your breath to hitch when he starts to grind his hips against your lower back in time with your stirs.

Fuck is your only coherent thought. He rolls his hips so well it’s impossible not to imagine them doing something else. Your bottom lip grows numb from how hard you bite it.

“Of course I missed you.” You keep your tone as light as possible, determined not to show that his words and actions affect you.

Hoseok’s eyes narrow. He removes his hands from around you but keeps his front pressed against your back. He smiles again, dimples poking through.

“You don’t sound convinced... That’s fine.” It sounds like the beginning of a challenge and you soon learn why.

His nimble fingers play with the knot of your apron and you tense, expecting him to make quick work of your clothes and dive straight into dessert, so to speak. Once again, he surprises you by leaving the apron alone, hands falling to his sides.

His knees hit the floor, the noise startling you. Before you have the chance to truly react, he’s quick to pull your hips backwards until your back is arched. The sudden change in position forces you to adjust your stance so as to keep your balance.

“Hoseok?” you start to question but he cuts you off with a tut and light smack to your ass.

“You just keep your eye on dinner like you were doing before.” His fingers play with the hem of your short dress, stretching the fabric until it bunches up around your hips and leaves your lacy thong on display. “You can do that, right?”

Flustered by the position he’s maneuvered you into, with your hips thrust back obscenely, legs splayed wide and pussy on show, you grip the wooden spoon in your hand with more force than necessary. “It’s just pasta. I can manage.”

Maybe you sound less indifferent than intended because Hoseok seems more amused than offended by your feinted nonchalance. He barks out a laugh, his hands spreading the meat of your cheeks aside to get a better view of your lace-covered bits.

Privately, you wish you could witness his reaction. If there’s anything that turns you on, it’s knowing how much someone else wants you. If feels good to know that you’re wanted and desired. Even if fucking is part of your job description, the act needs to be mutually enjoyable for you to be completely satisfied.

“Sure.” The lilt in his voice is so sweet that it borders on condescending. “While you do that, I think I’ll have my appetizer.”

It’s corny, overused and a little degrading - exactly the type of one-liner you’d ordinarily find in porn - but he gives you no time to call him out for it. As soon as he’s done talking, he wags his tongue out and drags it across the red lace, and the repeated up and down motions quickly dampen your panties.

You notice with great frustration that he takes care to avoid your clit, focusing instead on licking broad stripes over slit and, to your surprise, around your rim.  He doesn’t stop until your underwear drips with the accumulation of your essence and his saliva. The soaked lace rubs against you, the rough texture adding pressure to your most sensitive zones, until you can’t tell if the extra sensation is a blessing or a curse. Your hips jerk forward every so often, unsure if you’d rather lean into or escape his torturous games. Because as amazing as Hoseok’s tongue feels, you know your body well enough to be able to tell that this particular tempo won’t bring you to your peak.

An appetizer, he had called it. That’s exactly what the teasing ministrations feel like - a small sampling before the main course. It’s satisfying and maddening in its own way. Good, but not enough to satisfy your ravenous appetite.

He unearths himself from your dripping core, chin shiny with your juices.

“Keep focus,” he instructs as he slots two fingers inside of you. You’re wet enough that they slide in without too much difficulty, the stretch making your stomach clench. “I thought you said you knew how to cook pasta.”

Against your will, you force yourself to focus on the bubbling water in front of you. As much as you want to push your hips back and ride his fingers until you’re pushed over the edge, you can’t take the humiliation of messing up pasta - even if it is for the sake of a porn scenario.

It’s fucking pasta! You have to be seriously inept to mess up such a simple dish...

But what should have been an effortless task becomes more challenging than expected. Hoseok refuses to go easy on you. If anything, your stubborn silence is all the motivation he needs to thrust his fingers inside of you harder, curving them at an angle that makes your knees wobble. You struggle to keep any incriminating noises at bay but despite your best efforts, several muffled moans slip out one after the other.

Somewhere in the back of your mind, the logical side of you points out how dangerous all of this is. What if, during your impending orgasm, your body seizes up and knocks the boiling water everywhere during the process? You quickly switch off the gas stove at the thought. Better be safe than sorry.

Just then, Hoseok adds his tongue to the mix, his fingers relentless in their pursuit of your pleasure. You bite back a curse as the wooden spoon slips from your hold and clatters to the floor.

“Ah fu - Oh God,” you stutter, hands holding on to the edge of the counter for dear life.

You’ve been eaten out God knows how many times in your life, but not many have instinctively known what really gets you going. Hoseok laps at your core, tongue collecting the moisture that seeps through the fabric of your ruined panties, while his fingers scissor you open for his cock.

Your stomach clenches as you imagine how well he’d fill you up. Who the hell would ever want pasta for dinner when Hoseok could feed you his cock instead? Definitely not you, that’s for sure.

It’s easy to picture it. All he’d need to do is stand up, unzip his pants and spear you open with a practiced roll of his hips. Maybe he’d make you toss a salad while he fucks you from behind, slapping your ass whenever you forget to keep stirring the ingredients together. Or perhaps he’d let you ride his dick on the kitchen floor, too impatient to make it to a more comfortable surface.

Your imagination knows no bounds. Once you start, you can’t stop thinking of more lascivious scenarios, each one more daring and debauched than the last. The heat between your legs becomes unbearable and still, you ache for more.

Hoseok pulls away from the apex of your thighs and snorts, the sound pulling you out of your depraved thoughts. The pace of his thrusting slows down without stopping completely, his fingers still pressed deep within you. Your arms tremble as they try to keep you upright, knuckles white from the strength of your grip around the counter’s edge. You exhale shakily.

A whine works its way into your voice. “Why - why’d you stop?”

Ignoring your protests, he pops his fingers out of you and indulges in one last lick of your swollen pussy, before gathering to his feet. He rolls down your dress back over your bum and peers over your shoulder, acting as nothing had ever happened.

“Thought you said you’d take care of dinner, hm?” Hoseok has the gall to hum in disappointment.

Your mouth opens in outrage. “You!”

Hoseok pouts. “I thought we said you wouldn’t blame me for any soggy pasta.”

“You’re impossible,” you say without any real heat to your words.

“But you love me that way.”

He smiles as he leans in to kiss you, lips sticky and warm. You follow the pace he sets as best you can, unaccustomed to the way he takes his time - like you’re a delicacy that demands to be savored and not gulped down. On-screen kisses are usually rushed, messy, with too much tongue. They’re a scripted affair, more for show than out of real affection. When men tuck back your hair behind your ear or palm your cheek, it’s only to better angle your face for the camera.

There is something intimate about the way he holds you, the way he looks at you. Inwardly, you can't help but admire his acting skills. There’s something tender about the way he handles you that’s distinctly different from any of your previous onscreen partners. Sure, you’ve shot vanilla sex scenes before, but never of this variety. None of the male actors’ performances have made you wish, even fleetingly, foolishly, that the scene was real.

Hoseok pulls up for air before your mind can wander off completely, his panting mouth a hairsbreadth away. Lips touching but not quite.

Blearily, you blink your eyes open. You’re close enough that your noses brush against one another, your breaths mingling together. Hoseok’s eyes remain closed throughout, like he doesn’t want the moment to end. He looks so content that you can’t bring yourself to do anything else but melt further into his embrace, gaze drinking in the minute details of his face - like the tiny moles dotting his cheekbone and upper lip and the pretty curve of his eyes.

“And cut!”

You both jump away from each other, startled. For a second there, the storyline you’d been instructed to follow had slipped from your mind. You’re unsure if the lapse in judgement is good or bad but you don’t let the question linger in your thoughts. You’ll have plenty of time to dissect your performance at a later time.

“Good, good. That wasn’t what I was expecting but I don’t think anyone has any objections?” Director Ryu claps his hands. “Fifteen minute break sound good everyone? Then we’ll relocate to the bedroom to shoot the next part.”

There’s a general hum of agreement from the crew members. Chairs and various other equipment scrape the floor as the personnel prepare to migrate to the other room for filming. Jimin’s gaze meets yours briefly but all he can do is smile weakly in your direction before he’s ordered to help push some of the equipment down the hall.

Someone comes up to you with a bottle of water while another steps closer to blot the beads of sweat near your hairline and reapply a layer of lipstick. The make-up artist knits her brows in concentration until she’s satisfied with the touch-ups. She then moves on to Hoseok, make-up palette and brush at the ready, and grumbles loudly about the sticky residue covering his face. You hear Hoseok bellow a laugh, the sound so infectious that even the make-up artist joins in. 

You sip your water through a straw, careful not to smudge your freshly applied lipstick, and check your phone for any missed messages.

“Was all of that okay?”

“Hm?” You look up and are surprised to see Hoseok stare at you expectantly. “I, uh, know some girls aren’t into ass play. I’m sorry. I should’ve asked before jumping the gun but I figured - since you said there wasn’t anything major you were adverse to filming...”

His voice trails off.

“I liked it.” The admission is an easy one. “It did take me by surprise, but - I don’t have any complaints.”

“Ah, really?” Hoseok’s mouth corners upturn in relief. “That’s good to know. I was thinking - for the next scene - what if - I mean, are you okay with calling me Daddy?”

You tilt your head as you mull over the proposition.

“Daddy?”

“It’s not - you don’t have to. But listening to Director Ryu go on earlier made me think of something we could do. I think it fits well with the general idea. What do you think?”

“I’m fine with it.” Using the title doesn’t make you squeamish so you shrug in compliance. It’s not the first you’ve had to incorporate a daddy kink into the scene and it likely won’t be the last. You don’t see why you wouldn’t or shouldn’t do it with Hoseok. “I’ll follow your lead like I’ve been doing.”

It’s only as you’re following him towards the bedroom that you recall that you’ve yet to get to the crux of the scene - the damned impregnation kink. Even though you’re considerably less nervous than you’d been an hour or two ago, the thought of begging someone you barely know for something so intimate makes your stomach flip-flop. You don’t even have unprotected sex with Jimin and he’s your boyfriend.

Speaking of Jimin, you try to sneak in a peck or two before filming but Director Ryu intercepts you before you can make a beeline to where Jimin’s stationed behind a camera.

“How are you feeling?” The overhead light reflects off his round glasses and makes it impossible to hold eye contact unless you want to become semi-permanently blind.

“Good---”

“Wonderful. Well, we’ve positioned cameras here, here, and over there. There’ll be another camera man who’ll film with a handheld camera for closeups. Just keep that in mind. I know we’re giving you free-range to do what you feel is best and most natural but I’d hate to ask you to re-shoot because the camera couldn’t capture the both of you properly.”

You nod and he continues, “Also - please remember that you’re acting as a horny young married couple. I remember at that age I was up for anything, you get what I’m saying? People think just because you put a ring on your finger the sex automatically becomes stale. Fuck that. Show people married couples are freaks in the sheet.”

“Uh... Alright. I’ll keep that in mind.”

He claps a hand over your shoulder. “That’s the spirit.”

Freaks in the sheet? What did he expect you to do? Try out all the sex positions in the Kama Sutra?

“What did he want now?” Hoseok leans over to whisper once you’re seated comfortably on the bed. You’re hoping the mics don’t pick up the conversation but would rather not take the risk of being overheard bad-mouthing the director.

Shrugging, you say, “Just that this scene should be spicier.”

Hoseok raises his brow, lips quirking into a smirk. “That so?”

The same cockiness you’d caught a glimpse of during your escapade in the kitchen is back and the memory you associate it with makes the back of your neck prickle with heat. You clear your throat and avert your eyes.

Thankfully Director Ryu interrupts before Hoseok has the chance to fluster you further. You follow each of the director’s voiced directives until you’re comfortably seated on Hoseok’s lap, dress hitched around your waist because of how far your knees are spread on either side of Hoseok’s thighs. There’s a quick, last minute adjustment as Director Ryu ensures that the camera in the left corner picks up on everything it’s supposed to.

Satisfied, he lets you take the reins from there, then gives the cameras the signal to begin rolling.

You don’t waste a moment, taking his earlier commentary to heart. It’s your turn to pepper kisses all over Hoseok’s golden skin, leaving faint traces of rouge behind like an artist signing their own painting. You stop a few times to admire your work. Lip prints and lavender bite marks color his skin and the sight awakens a possessive streak you didn’t know you had.

Your enthusiasm to mark him up gets a little out of hand.

"Mhm." Hoseok grunts when you lick over a sensitive spot under his jaw. "Slow down, princess. There's no rush. We have all night."

He cups his chin between his hands so you have no choice but to relent and direct your gaze up at him. You’re pleased to see that he’s not completely indifferent to your touch; despite his instructions to take it slow, the smoldering look in his eyes tell a different story.

He runs the pad of his thumb over your lower lip, the pink flesh no doubt swollen. You take the digit in your mouth, unprompted, and run your tongue against its underside, wishing that his cock could fill your mouth instead.

Hoseok makes a noise low in his throat, not quite a growl but close.

"And I intend to take my time with you." The look he levels you with promises a night full of mind-numbing pleasure. Ribbons of heat curl around the base of your spine. "Want to make you feel good."

"You do," you agree, words muffled around the thumb you refuse to let go of.

You take a hold of his wrist and free your mouth, only to quickly replace it with his forefinger and middle finger. The stretch of two digits makes you moan lewdly.

Hoseok’s eyes darken. He lets you play for a few more seconds before he takes back control, his fingers pushing deeper into your mouth until they hit the back of your throat. You swallow down a gag, but his fingers don’t let you rest for long. He drags them over the flat of your tongue, watching as spit dribbles down past the sides of your mouth, and repeats the motion, pumping into your mouth steadily like he would a cock.

As nice as it feels to be filled with his fingers, whether in your cunt or mouth, you’re ready for more. Subconsciously, your hips grind down in his lap, shifting this way and that until you’re perfectly seated over his hardened length.

Drool is pushed out of your mouth as Hoseok squeezes a third fingers in with the other two. You suck harder, hoping that all your efforts will spur Hoseok into finally fucking you. The knowledge that he has to, at one point or another, keeps you from whining and begging pathetically for his cock. You can exercise patience if you put your mind to it; you’re sure of it. 

Your on-screen husband decides to test that resolve.

His other hand starts to wander south, his fingers toying with the short hem of your dress that’s been rucked up even higher with all your rocking and grinding. The movement of your hips slow, your brain unable to keep up with the stimuli coming in all directions.

A crack resounds in the room, the sharp sound startling you more than the sting that accompanies it. Hoseok’s palm rubs over the heated area, only inflaming it further.

“And who told you you could stop?”

The second slap is notably harsher than the first, and your hips automatically lurch forward hoping perhaps to lessen the impact of the sting.

You know he doesn’t expect a verbal answer; his second hand keeps your mouth plugged up, making any attempt at talking unintelligible. It doesn’t stop you from trying, only because you know the muffled protest are greatly appreciated amongst viewers. And if the way Hoseok’s digs his fingers into your smarting ass cheek is any indicator, you’re confident that he also enjoys your squirming and messy display.

“Keep moving, princess. I need both your holes nice and wet.”

The way his voice dips an octave makes your stomach twist in arousal. You long to tell him that you’re sufficiently wet enough for him to slide his cock inside right away but all you manage are pitiful garbled words.

He raises an eyebrow at your delayed response and your hips move before he can smack the globes of your ass for a third time. You have an inkling he’ll only hit harder with the intention of leaving marks of his own all over your skin.

It’s a careful balancing act, but you figure it out as you go. Bounce too fast and the fingers in your mouth will make you gag. Move too slowly for his liking and he won’t hesitate to add to the collection of handprints on your ass.

You lose track of how long he makes you play this game. Your mind focuses on sucking while keeping your jaw slack enough to accomadate the width of three digits. Drool pools down your chin, and you’re certain whatever the make-up artist had done to your lips is now ruined. Worse off are your panties. At the stage they’re at now, you’ll have no choice but to throw them out. Hoseok’s pants might need be as unsalveagable as your thong, you think inwardly, judging by the large, dark wet spot you’re currently sitting on.

“Mmh, good girl.” 

He gently slides his fingers out, strings of saliva attached. He hums in satisfaction at the lewd sight and rubs his fingers across your swollen lips and shiny chin, spreading the fluids and what’s left of your lipstick over your mouth. You swallow, mouth sore from being used roughly for so long.

“This hole is sufficiently wet, I think,” he appraises, eyelashes fluttering before he casts a long look down your body until it reaches where you’re seated on his clothed erection. “Let’s check this one too.”

The way he smirks at you but makes no move to check himself lets you know that he expects you to do the work.

You let your hands trail down your body slowly, cupping your breasts as you do, enjoying his hooded gaze and the way his cock twitches beneath you a bit too much. When you reach the hem of your dress, you lift your hips up to pull the fabric up to your navel giving an unobstructed view of your lace-covered pussy.

Hoseok stare intensifies but you don’t feel any embarrassment from the scrutiny. “Well you certainly look ripe.”

His fingers toy with the delicate string of lace around your hips. He lets the material snap against your skin a few times before he grows bored or impatient with his own game and gives the lace a harsh yank. It tears easily and the leftover scraps fall into his lap.

“... But just to be sure -” His hands grip your waist and manhandle you onto your hands and knees. Your head spins from how suddenly he’s moved you around to his liking that your arms give out and you fall face first into the clean smelling bed sheets. “Gotta give my favorite hole of yours a better look.”

His hands hoist your hips at a higher angle so that your soaked center is visible for the cameras to pan onto. Hoseok slides in two fingers easily, then a third. Loud, obscene noises echo in the otherwise quiet room, noises that are quickly joined by your unabashed moans of pleasure.

Your core is on fire. Hoseok’s fingers are just as good as you remember them to be. No, better. The three fingers pump into you in measured strokes, the drag slow enough to keep you dangling over the edge without pushing you over.

Hoseok spanks your ass, hissing between his teeth as you clench around his fingers, no doubt imagining your inner walls hugging his cock instead. 

“Christ. You’re always such a soft, wet little thing down here,” he croons in dulcet tones. “I could play with you all day.”

You thrust your hips back, shameless.

“Please! Please Daddy, I’ll be so good, I just - please - I nuh, need it. Need your cock fucking me full. I’ll take it so good, you know I will. Want you to - please! Daddy, I need your cum.”

“Shit.”

He fumbles in his haste to flip you onto your back. He crawls over your body, and you watch fascinated as he dives down to kiss you like a man starved. He looks almost feral, pupils so dilated the brown of his eyes is almost gone.

Heat blooms in your stomach as he kisses you deeply. The press of his lips against yours renders you a little less coherent as time ticks on, every brush of his tongue making you a little more dizzy with want.

Everything about him burns. It feels like being kissed by the sun itself. Every caress, every lick and nip leaves you feverish all over, like your drunk off his touch.

"Let me," he says, pinching the zipper of your dress between his thumb and index finger.

You wrap your hand around his and guide his movements. His gaze never leaves yours and it makes shivers run down your back. Even though you're the one controlling his movements for the time being, the look in his eyes makes it abundantly clear that the control you wield is only temporary.

When your dress finally falls open, you try not to preen too much under the reverent look that falls over Hoseok’s face. Your back arches a little off the bed, pert breasts thrust towards him - an appealing offer he doesn’t dare refuse.

Hoseok circles a thumb around your nipple, rubbing and flicking until it hardens into a stiff peak.

You wonder, distantly, how this looks like from the outside looking in. The man in front of you is a stranger in all senses of the word. Yet the way he touches you - like there are years of built-up affection behind every gesture - makes you second guess everything you know.

"Fuckin' love your tits.” He sighs, awe reflected in the dark of his eyes. "Love playing with them. Love how wet it gets you, how hungry your little pussy gets."

"Please,” you mewl, his words igniting a new wave of heat. It rolls over your body, leaving no extremity untouched. You burn from the inside out with raw desire.

You squeeze your own breasts in a bid to get him to touch you more. Hoseok merely chuckles, finding your desperation entertaining. One of his hands reach down between you to play with the wetness that clings to your core like a second skin and it takes everything inside of you not to rub yourself against him like a bitch in heat.

"What is it, princess?" His lips quirk into a smirk like he already knows the answer. "You're looking quite needy. How did you manage to hold it in all this time?"

“Stop teasing,” you growl, the lack of friction making you irritable. "I need your cock. And why - why do you have so many fucking clothes on?”

He chuckles, chest vibrating in amusement.

“Take them off,” you insist. Then, you grudgingly tack on a “Please” for good measure.

As hot as Hoseok looks like in his “work clothes”, he looks infinitely better naked, you decide as he chucks off his button-down shirt and gets started on his leather belt. With each new piece of clothing that gets discarded, the anticipation building inside of you skyrockets.

You take a moment to soak in his lithe figure, not bothering to hide how affected you are by the view. He’s nicely sculpted; you can tell right away that he takes care of himself. Swimming or dancing maybe? You hesitate between the two. His muscles are lean, nothing like the bulging biceps and thick forearms typical of the stereotypical gym rat.

Hoseok’s dick is, unsurprisingly, as pretty as the rest of him. It’s long and curved, a prominent vein running along its underside. The thatch of pubic hair that rests above his dick is neatly trimmed, the dark hair contrasting with the tan skin of his abdomen and the rosy hue of his erect length. Your eyes swoop down his thighs, licking your lips unwittingly at the alluring sight presented to you.

“Daddy,” you say, the whine in your voice unmistakable. “Want your cock.”

For a brief moment you’re tricked into believing he’s given in to your demand, but find yourself disappointed when he contents himself with rubbing his hardened member between your thighs, the glide slippery thanks to the copious amount of your essence that’s pooled there.

“Like this?” Hoseok asks, tone too sweet to be anything but mocking. The head of his cock bumps into your swollen bundle of nerves one, two, three times. You keen, your hips canting upwards in a bid to get more friction. “Want to rut against me until you get nice and creamy?”

He uses his right hand to spread your slick lower lips so that he can nestle his cock snuggly between them. He rolls his hips, the undulations fluid and dirty, and smirks at how you moan brokenly beneath him.

Your stomach clenches. “Need it in me."

"You'll get it," he promises after kissing you sloppily, lips sucking on your tongue. His breath is ragged but his voice steady, firm. "I'll give you everything you need. Make you cum so many times you know who owns this sweet pussy."

He speaks so surely, carries himself with so much confidence, that in the moment you can't help but believe him. The line between staged and reality blurs and you find yourself nodding eagerly, begging him as best you can to give you what you want.

The first tentative push of his dick wipes you clean of coherency. He slowly eases himself into you, reaching forward to lace his fingers with yours. It’s - more intimate than you expected. He squeezes your hand tightly in his when he finally manages to bury his entire length inside of you.

“Perfect.” He kisses the side of your temple before drawing back, his hard cock dragging deliciously against you. With a fluid hip thrust, he slides back in and you feel the stretch moreso this time around. The curvature of his cock has him pressing up against your walls in a way that robs you of breath.

"Daddy! Hh - ah, oh God. You're too b-big."

"Mhm, that's right. Daddy's fat cock is splitting you open. I'll plug you up with it later so none of my cum will leak out."

Every time he pulls back, your pussy clamps down tightly around him, unwilling to be empty even for a second.

Hoseok’s nostrils flare in arousal. He grabs your left tit and squeezes, using it as a hold to better fuck into you. With his body hovering above yours, his hand staking claim of your breast, and his cock drilling into you, you have nowhere to go. Pinned to the bed and unable to do anything but take everything he delivers, you wrap your legs around his waist and moan.

"Daddy's gonna fuck some babies into you,” he rasps, his eyes dark pools of lust. "Gonna breed your sweet pussy over and over. You'll be so full of my cum that you'll be pregnant with my babies for sure."

“Oh fuck. Yes, yes - oh my nhhg.” You sob as Hoseok drives his cock into you with more force. While the piston of his hips isn’t rushed, he pulls out to the tip only to slam back in to the hilt every time. The stretch burns in a good way and the sound of your moans are rivaled only by the wet, obscene sounds from your coupling.

"Fuck. Your cunt just - shit." He cracks down a hand against your ass and you shriek, not expecting it. "You're so tight, holy shit."

"Want it. Want you to fuck me good."

"I will," he says lowly, the promise reverberating deep in his chest. "I'll fuck you until you're begging me to stop. Fill you up so much, you'll be bloated with it."

And it should freak you out, the imagery he paints with his words, but the thought of laying there and him fucking you so well that you won't be able to feel your legs has you gushing out more wetness.

"Mmmh.” Maybe he can feel how soaked you are because he comments, “This is my favorite hole of yours, princess. Always so fuckin' drenched. I bet we’ll have to throw out the sheets again." He chuckles. "You must be hungry for it, right? I made you wait so long. No wonder your pussy is clenching like that. It needs a big, fat cock to milk dry."

“I missed it,” you cry, body skidding a little higher up the duvet each time he fucks into you. Your eyelashes flutter, lids heavy. It’s hard to concentrate, let alone form words, when your brain feels like complete mush. “I - I need your cum. Daddy, please.”

"Don't worry, gorgeous. I've got you. Daddy will feed your cute pussy his cock."

"Th-thank you, Daddy."

"Love you," he murmurs. It’s a quiet confession, lost somewhere in between the mattress creaks, the loud slaps of Hoseok’s hips slamming against yours, and the string of whimpers and groans pulled from your throat. It’s quiet but you hear it.

One of your hands reach up to pull him down by the neck so that your lips meet. He kisses you open-mouthed. It’s a filthy kiss, one that makes you moan into his mouth. You’re certain that if you had been standing your knees would have wobbled.

When you let up for air, Hoseok’s staring you down, his red-bitten lips plump and shiny.

"Love this pussy. So sweet and wet for me. Always for fucking swollen, like it's waiting to get a pounding. Love that. Love how eager you are to be bred by my thick cock."

The impregnation kink is - a bit much. You've never really imagined having kids, at least not anytime soon. You can’t even keep your plants alive for fuck’s sake.

But the way he suggests it is nothing like what you had imagined. His suggestions are - vulgar and primal. Like the urge to fuck you full of his cum is biological and he can’t smother it.

For a moment, you let yourself entertain the thought of being his breeding bitch - of laying on your back and letting him fuck load after load of cum inside you until your pussy physically can't accommodate any more. Of not having any other worries or thoughts but take his cock every moment of the day.

"You just got tighter.” He curses under his breath, voice thick with arousal.  "Such a warm little hole. Taking everything I give it. You'd take anything if it meant getting bred by me, right?"

“Yes, yes,” you chant, pleasure coiling inside of you. “Give me more! I need it."

"Shit. You can't handle more, princess," he tries to reason. "Daddy needs to be gentle with you. Your hole is so small, it'll hurt if I go harder."

"Daddy promised to fuck me.” You whine, uncaring if you sound too bratty and demanding. "B- Breed my hole. It's yours. Puh-please use me."

"God." Hoseok groans, his features twisting in what looks to be pain or pleasure. With tremendous effort he pulls himself out of you and your eyes widen in panic.

“What? Daddy why? I thought—”

He shushes you, reaching somewhere overhead to grab a fluffy pillow. "Just wait a sec, okay? There you go.”

The pillow is placed underneath your hips, keeping them elevated. When Hoseok takes his glistening cock in hand and directs it back in, you both moan in unison.

"Oh fuck, I’m gonna, ah,” you gasp as your mind goes blank with pleasure. The new angle is heaven on earth. It’s almost too much, too quick, but Hoseok’s firm grip on your hips prevents you from alleviating the pressure.

"Take it." He grunts, brows knit together. Every powerful snap of his hips makes your breasts bounce, your breath hitch. Without his hands keeping you pinned down, your head would have collided with the headboard by now. "Be a good princess and take your fucking."

He gains momentum, the new angle facilitating the slide of his cock. He drags the flat of his palm down your thigh and takes a hold of your knee before hoisting it up over your shoulder. The stretch burns the back of your calves but you’re so fucked out, you can’t even find the words to complain.

When you glance up, it’s to fall upon the sight of Hoseok brushing his sweaty fringe out of his face. His cheeks are flushed pink, his skin dewy from the film of perspiration wrapped around his body. Beads of sweat trickle down his heaving chest but he chooses to forgo a quick break. On the contrary, he pushes in deeper like he’s determined to carve out a permanent space for his cock.

"Just gonna keep you here,” he huffs, his eyes the shade of cloudless night sky. “Everyday I'll fuck my cum back inside of you so that you'll always stay full. Want to fuck you forever. Don't want this to end."

"Want it too," you sob, orgasm hovering just on the periphery. "Want you to keep me full forever. Ugh - oh fuck! Hoseok- I'm—"

"You gonna cum around my cock, princess?" He angles his hips downwards, relishing in the wanton cry it elicits. "Gonna give me everything?"

"I'm yours," you profess, jaw slack with pleasure.

It doesn’t take much more for the orgasm to crash over you, Hoseok fucks you through it, groaning as your inner walls spasm around him. He breathes out curses, lip drawn tight between his lips, and doesn’t wait for the last waves of your orgasm to abate to chase after his own end.

In the throes of your pleasure, it doesn’t register then that Hoseok has been holding back all this time. If you thought he had been fucking you hard before, it’s nothing compared to now. He growls and bends forward, forcing your leg to stretch even more, and pushes in and out of you at a pace that makes you scream.

You don’t even have time to come down from your first high that you’re already thrown towards your second. Hoseok plugs your mouth up using two digits, his fingers a firm pressure against your tongue. Your eyes roll back, too overwhelmed from the feeling of being stuffed on both ends.

“God, I could fuck your holes all fucking day.” His rhythm begins to falter as the pressure inside of him grows, his movements frantic and less controlled than they’ve ever been. “How about that? I’ll fuck my princess’ mouth properly next time, stretch it out nicely. Then you’ll let me have your ass, hm?”

Shit, shit, you whimper around his fingers, spit bubbling down the sides on your mouth. It’s scary knowing you have no way to stop the oncoming destruction.

“Yeah, I can tell you love that. You’re gonna cream my dick again, aren’t you?” You can’t tell if the sound he makes is a laugh or a grunt. All you know is that you feel like you’re about to burst. “C’mon, be a good girl and milk my cum out. You better get every last drop.”

There’s an underlying threat in his command. You do your best to obey his words, not wanting to disappoint.

Hoseok pushes his cock in as deep as it can go and grinds his hips into yours. His cock reaches so deep that you swear he might hit your cervix. And considering the nature of the scene you’re portraying, maybe that’s what he intends.

He swipes his fingers through the mess of your cunt, zeroing in on your sensitive clit. He swirls some of your fluids over it before giving it a sharp pinch that makes you cry out. Your hips fly off the pillow but Hoseok is quick to pin you back down. The never-ending drag of his cock along your walls paired with the rough ministrations to your clit is all you need for the pressure inside you to snap.

Above you, Hoseok moans, low and throaty, as he finally dumps rope after rope of warm cum inside of you. He throws his head back, exposing the collar of purplish bruises you sucked onto his skin earlier. Something about the view satisfies you immensely - not that you’d dare voice these thoughts out loud.

Hoseok’s strength gives out and he sags onto your body, his breath warm against your skin. He feels hot, like a furnace, but strangely it’s not uncomfortable. It’s almost like having a personal heating pad; the soreness of your muscles melts away with each passing moment.

Much to your displeasure, your post-coital bliss doesn’t last forever. He's given the signal to pull out and obeys, careful to keep your hips propped up so that his load of cum won’t slosh out. He’s still got a role to play, after all, and the end goal is to get you pregnant.

A cameraman walks forward to zoom in on your swollen and used pussy - physical proof of your exploits. The haze lifts. You become more aware of the people standing on the outskirts of your vision, lighting or sound equipment in hand.

“And that’s a wrap!” Director Ryu calls, his cheeks stretched to accommodate the width of his grin. “Good job everybody!”

You breathe out a sigh, glad your day is finally over. Seokjin walks up to you with a robe for you to throw on and you nod in thanks, slipping the satin gown over your sweaty body.

Around you, the staff start milling about, putting the equipment away and gathering their belongings. You pay them no heed, your attention focused on getting changing into showering and changing into comfortable clothes. You’re in the middle of taming your messy hair when your stomach erupts into growls, reminding you of your hungry state. What you’d do for a big slice of piz—

You remember your date with Jimin and speed up, not wanting to make him wait around for you any longer. It’s not hard to spot him - he’s waiting outside of your dressing room, can of coke in hand.

Something about his smile feels off.

Maybe it’s the way his eye corners don’t crease or the slight strain the curve of his mouth that betray him.

Your expression falls. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing - it’s nothing, don’t worry,” he says after a short, tense moment of silence. The look on your face must have reflected your feelings of doubt because he proceeds by reaching out and pulling you tight against him. Pressed up against his shirt, you can smell the faintest trace of the fabric softener he uses and its scent, familiar and sweet, mollifies you somewhat. “You did amazing today, baby. As usual.”

The compliment you’ve been waiting for makes the sides of your lips rise automatically. “I did, didn’t I?”

“Almost too well.” He hums, one of his hands stroking the back of your head.

“Well, I can’t take all the credit, “ you admit. “The results wouldn’t have been half as good if Hoseok hadn’t been my partner. He’s new in the game but he doesn’t act like it, does he?”

“He doesn’t, no.” Jimin agrees. “He’s... he’s something, alright.”

Your grin widens. All your worrying had been for nothing, in the end. The shoot had gone without a hitch, all of the set members coming up to you with praises of a job well done. You can’t recall the last time any of your performances had elicited such a response post-filming. Even Director Ryu looks particularly pleased, a permanent grin etched onto his features as he reviews the tapes. The knowledge that you’ve done well fills you with a pleasant giddiness that warms your insides and makes your cheeks hurt from how wide your smile stretches.

“Oh good, you’re still here.” Hoseok beams. A damp towel hangs around his neck and the ends of his hair are wet like he’s just gone and doused his head under the bathroom faucet. “I was worried you had left. I just - thanks for earlier. I had a lot of fun! If the chance presents itself, I hope we can work together again.”

“Thank you.” You want to praise him too, know that his performance deserves it, but your next words are cut off before they have the chance to form. Jimin steps closer to you, his grip on your hip tightening suddenly.

When you glance up to check on your boyfriend, he’s sporting a serious expression that you’ve rarely seen before. He doesn’t look angry, but it’s clear as day that he isn’t too pleased with the present situation. His face is closed off, cold, unwelcoming - so drastically different from the usual cherubic sweetness you’re accustomed to seeing.

You’re at a loss for words, unsure of who to address first. What’s going on?

Hoseok senses the sudden change in atmosphere and chooses to tactfully retreat.

“Good work, man.” He nods at Jimin and then shoots you a wave. “See you around sometime, ______ !”

Your eyes follow his exit before you turn to face Jimin again, hoping the smile on your face masks the worry you feel bubbling on the inside.

“Jimin what - I mean, are you sure you're okay?”

Jimin returns a strained smile of his own. “I’m fine.”

Your gaze lands on his right hand that’s still squeezing your waist. It borders on uncomfortable but you try not to let it show. You must not do a very good job at schooling your features because Jimin quickly apologizes for his behavior.

“Sorry.” Jimin lets you go once he notices your discomfort. “I just - I don’t know. You’re right, I’m not acting like myself. I think...seeing you say that stuff and act that way just - I’m not sure why, I guess - Since usually the sex isn’t like that, it caught me off guard.”

“You didn’t like that I acted like I was in love with him.”

“Would anyone?” he shoots back, smile sardonic. “It just looked so convincing in the moment. I guess it got me worked up.”

Sure, Hoseok is hot. If you had to work with him again, you would in a heartbeat. It’s not often you land a colleague you’re so sexually compatible with, who also happens to be so well-mannered and good-looking. It’s like hitting the jackpot, really.

But - just because you’d fuck him again for professional reasons, doesn’t mean that you’re interested in him beyond that.

“Jimin. I don’t want to be with anybody else but you.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I know.” The muscles in his face relax. “I love you.”

“Love you, too.”

.

.

It’s not until later, as he fucks you uncharacteristically hard in the backseat of his car parked in the back lot of the film studio, that you begin to wonder if things really are as idyllic as you believe them to be.

.

.

.

#wow so this took a decade and a half to finish but it's finally here ! #final part should be up by the end of the month : ) #bts smut #hoseok smut #hoseok #also warning i didn't proofread the smut scene yet so rip if there are any mistakes

[galaxythreads]

Suggestions on how to improve fanfic writing:

I was talking with @angelfishofthelord recently (not that recent, time is a concept that escapes our collective grasp) and I jokingly suggested that I make this post. I am in the middle of an insomnia night, so. Here be us.

Characters use the same nicknames and phrases inside their head as speaking. This doesn’t necessarily mean they’re sharing the humor they’re speaking. I.g.: For SPN, I see a lot of people write Dean as a little careless in his POVs, because that’s just how he portrays himself, but Dean, I think, while having a dark sense of humor, isn’t actually very funny in his head. Same goes for MCU and Tony Stark. Funny characters does not always equal happy head space. :)

Nicknames--this used to bother me to no end, because nicknames were never something in my family, and people shortening down the names felt wrong. But you nickname what you love. If someone has given a nickname (and not in mockery) to a character, chances are, they call them that in their head. Like in MCU Clint calling Natasha "Nat", or SPN Dean and Sam calling Cas "Cas" however, with that said, unless the nickname is self chosen, most people will use their full name when narrating. Castiel, Natasha, etc.

Headcanons! This is going to sound a little backwards, but headcanons have always helped me sort between characters. I know that some fic authors are very against headcanons, but to me, you HAVE to make these characters and their world your own, at least a little. You need to understand how their brain functions, and headcanons are a wonderful, wonderful way to do that. So long as you can conceivably fit them into canon, I think you’re good. One of the ones I have about SPN Cas is that he doesn’t actually give off body heat, so he’s constantly room temperature. It’s a detail for people that’s not Cas’s POV to notice. So getting some headcanons like that will help differentiate between POVs because it’s different things for characters to acknowledge.

Mimic writing that you admire. (And ask yourself WHY you like it) I really, really love the way that TFW/avengers team is portrayed in some stories, in others, I’m like “meh.” Write to please yourself, first and foremost, on how to read these characters thoughts. Those who agree with you will flock to be your audience, and they’re who matter.

Language/word choice is really important for POV change. Again, people talk like how they think.

POV change? Treat the character whose POV it is like they are THE most important person in existence. Their reactions get a front seat. Their five senses are your concern. What they notice about a character may not be true, but it's what they notice. They are human, not omniscient, ergo, they'll get things wrong. Even if the story is written with a completely different character in mind, this character is still the most important. POV's time to think, talk, panic, angst, express, etc. That chapter was about how they felt. That’s why sometimes, even if I really do want them to talk or something, a character might think “please don’t say xyz” because THEY don’t want that, and how I feel as an author isn’t relevant here. Remembering that they’re human, and need time to process/react to things is huge.

Practice, practice, practice. It does get easier with time, and effort. I promise. All of you would laugh at my first few weeks of diving into fandoms. That stuff is garbage.

Conscious stream of thought is generally the best way to engage readers, and the most enjoyable. This is how we immerse ourselves into the story. We become a part of it because we follow their thinking. It is always ideal to start where you are the most comfortable, whether that's 3rd omniscient, 2nd person, etc, but, in my opinion, you don't get that true "click" with the characters until you've conscious stream of thought them.

Research. Lots of research. Don't know how long battieres could last in 2002? Look it up. Don't know how to do stitches? Google it. Try to avoid making things up.

Look guys. Everyone understands that you are most likely NOT a doctor or have any semblance of a medical degree. This is fiction. Research what you can, and move forward carefully or vague it out with the rest. The worst that can happen is someone correcting information you got wrong.

Please, please, please stay within the range of human limitation. (Or whatever creature/being you are writing for) You can't lose more than five pints of blood. You CAN die from pain. Infection spreads quickly. I'm sorry. I just. Have read so many fics from newbie writers who push their characters past extremes that is almost impossible. You want to hurt them that bad, break a bone or something. Just. Please try to be realistic. (Don't misunderstand here, I love me some well-done whump.)

Again with the "you are not a professional thing." Those diagnosed with mental illnesses know that you may not be writing from true experience. This is okay. But please, please do not avoid using any words or phrases common with the illness as you try to "vaguely" write it. The more authentic you are, the less likely you will offend someone. Look. I would be so frustrated if someone tried to write about an ED and just... Avoided words like "starve" "binge" and "hungry" because they didn't want to trigger me. Like. Sweeties, I appreciate the thought, I do, but it's more frustrating that you can't even SAY it than actually putting it into your writing. So. Please just. If you're going to write about a mental illness, do so with the intent to WRITE it, not skirt around the bush.

With that, if you are not diagnosed with the mental illness your writing for (or suspect that you have some form of it) that's okay! Google symptoms to get a basic idea, and search for first hand accounts. People's experience is a lot different than the definition. For example, some of the most hilarious people I know are severally depressed, and Google will just tell you they are sad.

Write write and write. You are building a skill. You have to practice that skill frequently.

Do not be afraid to ask for feedback. Betas are wonderful. Asking for advice is wonderful. Being too shy and afraid of criticism for asking for help is perfectly okay. (Hello fellow traveler)

If your search history doesn't have you being watched by government organizations in the next few months, you aren't researching enough. ;)

Take your time. Quality over quantity. Do NOT conform to the update fairy that demands updates frequently. Look. I love my readers. I do. But you HAVE to take your time to finish things in order for them to be worth reading. If this is six hours or six years, that's that.

Do not give everything away. Stop answering questions. We keep reading because we have unanswered questions. Anticipation = good. Knowing everything at once: bad.

Do not put in funny for the sake of funny.

Insults should be insulting, not make people want to cringe and duck their heads.

Dialog should serve as people communicating... Like actual people.

Siblings (unless otherwise said so by canon) DO NOT address each other as "bro" and "sis"

Not a native English speaker? Cool. Natives would love to help you learn their language. :) English grammar sucks.

Analogies should make sense. They should flow smoothly into the writing. If they pop out, you've lost the attention of your writers.

please, please don't glorify rape, racism, homophobia, mental illness shaming/glorification, abuse, sexism, and other crappy things. Thanks. People came for a story, not to get their souls crushed.

#fanfiction #fanfics #fanfic writing

[letsbeoutoftouch]

Three days ago, I decided to start watching one of the Chinese dramas that had been sitting on my Netflix to-watch list for as long as I use it: 'A Love So Beautiful'.

I was (am) really excited over the Korean version because the FL is So Joo Yeon, whom I love since I watched 'Romantic Doctor Teacher Kim 2' last year―she's adorable!

However, I knew that the Korean version was a remake, so I figured I should start with the Chinese one first. Besides, a few years ago one of my ex-friends told me I should watch it, and she has a pretty good taste in dramas... So, well―I succumbed. And, oh my! I'm so glad I did!

· · ·

'A Love So Beautiful' is a coming of age drama, which depicts the lives of five friends as from the moment they meet in high school up to adulthood, and how they learn about love, friendship and life in general. It especially revolves around Chen Xiaoxi (Shen Yue, from 'Meteor Garden') and Jiang Chen (Hu Yi Tian, from 'Unrequited Love').

· · ·

♡ PLOT & EPISODES:

It is a really light-hearted drama, and its plot is uncomplicated. It is ideal for when you are in the mood for something that doesn't have twists and turns, and/or whose plot doesn't require a great effort to follow. If you feel like watching a drama like that, then I really recommend you to start this one.

Although it's made up of 23 episodes (and one special episode), they are approximately 40-minutes long each. Therefore, I didn't feel that they were tiresome to watch. Also, as a person who gets distracted quite easily ―I have the attention span of a goldfish―, I must emphasise that I didnt pause it at all―except, maybe, to go and grab some snacks... And to post that screenshot with a reference to Argentina, lol.

· · ·

♡ CHARACTERS:

Xiaoxi (FL): This character is a well-known one in dramaland―the typical female lead who is really (and when I say really, I mean extremely, blindly) in love with the male lead, no matter his actions or the words that leave his mouth.

I normally find this type of character annoying (yes, I'm looking at you, Nao). I find it painful to watch that she keeps resiliently following the male lead, even when he is continuously humilliating her. Of course, if you keep in mind that she is a teenager, then you may be able to understand the way she behaves―we were all a little bit like that during our younger years... Or, at least, I know I was. However, that's hard to remember when the story depicts her to be neither a teenager nor an adult, although she is supposed to be the former. By this I don't mean that teenagers can't go through situations that may force them to 'grow up' quickly, but stuff like 'living alone with my classmate' is not a normal situation for a teen (especially, with their parents consent ¿¿¿¿¿)―that's more adult-ish.

Anyways, back to Xiaoxi.

When I think about my younger self, I think she might ―in some points― relate to Xiaoxi. Why? That's simple―because she truly acts like a teenager. For her, the problems she faces are like the end of the world, and deals with them as (most) young people would.

Amongst those problems, love is obviously included. She's devoted to the love she feels, and doesn't waver. She's always true to her feelings and to her heart―sometimes, a little too much for my liking. However, her genuiness and stubborness are two of the traits I liked the most about her.

But Xiaoxi is not entirely naïve―not all the time, at least. She stood her ground in some parts of the story, as a teenager and, mostly, as an adult. I must admit that one kick was amazing―I was lying in bed and I literally had to sit up and scream 'APLICADÍSIMA' (an Argentinian slang that, in this context, could be translated as 'nicely done').

▫ ▫ ▫

Jiang Chen (ML): Yet another typical character in dramas. He's one of those guys who barely speaks, looks serious 24/7 and, the most important thing, has feelings but is unable to show them most of the time.

I'm not going to deny that people like that do exist in real life (now that I think about it, I may be like that irl, lol), but the real problem is how they are portrayed in dramas. I mean, the fact that a person gathers all those characteristics within them does not equal to being an a*shole (again, I'm so looking at you, Uehara).

Jian Chen sometimes acts like an a*shole, I'm not going to deny that. He mostly acts like that out of jealousy, which doesn't make it right. However, he's continuously growing out of that behaviour (maybe not so much out of jealousy 🙃), and that's what I liked about this character. Even if his character doesn't entirely lose his true essence (being serious is not a bad trait per se, just to name something), it was refreshing to see that, when he's with her, he wouldn't act like he doesn't care about her at all.

▫ ▫ ▫

Wu Bosong (SML): Oh, dear. He's the sweetest. For real.

I'm not the kind of person who usually falls for the second male lead (for example, in Heirs I was always team Kim Tan, although everyone loved Young Do and shipped Eun Sang with him). However, this time, I found myself falling for Bosong really, really hard.

His character is yet another cliché―the sweet boy who's always helping the FL and has to be content with watching her from the sidelines. However, his kind and tender nature slowly captured my heart.

*spoiler alert* It broke my soul that the story was unfair to him―he deserved way better. Not only romantically speaking―all the scenes where his grandma doesn't recognise him were so, so heartbreaking. I know life isn't fair, but it is a drama! Don't make the poor boy suffer that much 😭.

However, even though I loved this character a lot, I ―by no means― shipped him and Xiaoxi. He deserved someone who would give him their entire heart―and, let's face it, Xiaoxi would never grow out of her love for Jian Chen. *end of spoiler alert*

· · ·

♡ FRIENDSHIP:

As far as I'm concerned, most people are only interested in the romantic side of dramas ―which is fine, of course―, but I'm adding this item because it was seriously one of the things I enjoyed the most about this drama.

The chemistry between the five of them is awesome. Sometimes, it's not just about how nicely the leads are to each other―I think that portraying a great friendship is equally important. After all, life is not just about romantic love―it's about all the other kinds of love, as well.

It was sweet that they not only grew up together, but also that they stayed friends even if they had other things going on in their lives. They were unconditional to each other, but that didn't just stayed in high school―it followed them to their adult lives. They still tried to find the time to meet, even if they were busy (*spoiler alert* Xiaoxi's fansigning! *end of spoiler alert*), and supported and had each other's back no matter what.

I liked how friendship was one of the main topics in the drama.

· · ·

♡ SUMMARY:

If you're looking for a cute and light coming-of-age drama (and you don't mind a school drama―i.e., dealing with the fact that they are teenagers during most of it), then A Love So Beautiful is the one for you.

Also, if you haven't ever seen a Chinese drama (and you're up to a drama with the characteristics abovementioned), then I recommend you start with this one. It's not boring, chapters are relatively short (40-minutes-long episodes are considerably shorter than Korean drama's one-hour ones).

The acting was great (again, bear in mind that the characters are teenagers!), the chemistry between the leads was good, and, if you're like me, you'll enjoy the chemistry between the entire group (*spoiler alert* although Bosong and Jian Cheng are ready to throw hands at each other like 99% of the time *end of spoiler alert*).

If you have some time, I highly recommend you to watch it!

I'm leaving the trailer here, if you want to check it out:

A Love So Beautiful is available on NETFLIX, VIKI and YOUTUBE!

· · ·

I hope you liked this 'review'. I wanted to write one since I finished the drama, but I have been busy studying for my finals.

Sending lots of love during these weird times ♡

#a love so beautiful #chinese drama #cdrama #c drama #review #Hu Yi Tian #Shen Yue #Gao Zhi Ting #Wang Zi Wei

[crownandwriter]

Your pinned post says matchups are still open, so I’m taking my shot! But if you’re too busy or tired of all the requests by the time you get to mine, no worries. Tbh, I have almost as much fun reading other people’s results, especially when they’re as thoughtful and detailed as yours!

May I please have a Genshin matchup? I’m bi and use she/her pronouns; I’m fine with any gender partner. MBTI-wise, I’ve mostly typed as INTP with the occasional ENTP thrown in. I think INTP fits better (really, really well actually), except that I’m not (usually) that insensitive or socially awkward. I’m not one to chat up a stranger at a party, but I WILL go to the party and enjoy it (if only for free food/drinks, dancing, and maybe some new music), and if someone approaches me they’ll probably find me funny and a good conversationalist. If one of my loved ones is down, my instinct is to help brainstorm a solution to their problem or suggest nice distractions, but if they just want me to listen and comfort them I can do that pretty well. I do have a lot of trouble expressing my own emotions beyond the easy, shallow stuff, and I tend to get very frustrated and impatient when I see someone’s emotions holding them back from acknowledging facts or doing what needs to be done. That’s especially true when I feel like my own emotions of uncertainty or inadequacy are holding me back from the things I want.

More broadly, some words that describe me are imaginative, adventurous, independent, and I guess ambitious. Some might call me laid back, and I am most of the time, but when it comes to my major goals and dreams I’m actually really determined and honestly a little selfish. Like, if I were up against my closest friend for my dream job, I would still do anything (within the bounds of fairness) to get it, and if I lost I would have hard feelings about it (which I would bury deeply until I die, lol). I love, love learning and trying new things, and my ideal partner is someone who can surprise me and teach me stuff without making me feel like their student or sidekick. I want us to have fun together and help each other grow. My main love language (both ways) is quality time, but I can work with pretty much anything else except receiving a lot of gifts which makes me feel, idk, embarrassed? Or pressured to respond with the right level of of happiness?

Socially, I have a small circle of very close friends (many of whom are also family, including my younger brother and some of my cousins), a slightly larger circle of pretty good friends, and a lot of friendly acquaintances - people I like to hang out with, but would never feel comfortable being emotional or vulnerable around. If I have a conflict with someone I try to talk it out, but if we can’t come to an agreement I’m going to quietly do whatever I want. My most toxic trait is ghosting people, because saying goodbye/breaking up is awkward and inefficient, lol. On the other hand, I think my most attractive qualities as a friend/gf are positivity, spontaneity, and attentiveness to the other person’s likes, interests and dreams.

For miscellaneous, I’m 5’1” with really long dark hair (which I’m a little vain about, ngl), gray eyes, freckles, and (I’ve been told) a sweet face that turns super cold when I’m angry. My style is kind of flashy but practical, if that makes sense? Lots of eye-catching colors and patterns, but everything has pockets and I don’t do high heels. I’m a medical student, and my dream is to be a national delegate to the World Health Organization someday. I have a cat - if my partner doesn’t get along with her then we’re over, but she’s basically the laziest, friendliest chonk on the planet so it’s not hard. My hobbies/interests are games (video games obviously, but mostly board games), beer, cooking, dancing (like, club dancing, I’m not disciplined enough for the formal stuff), and movies, especially documentaries.

Thank you so much, and I hope this was enough info without too much rambling, haha.

I’m jealous tbh Sucrose is, like, the perect girl imo Just need to snip off that rat tail

I ship you with Sucrose!

-Sucrose is more logical than emotional, but not so much that she’s an emotionally unavailable partner! She’s rational, driven, and focused on her work...but, and it’s literally in her game title, she’s an absolute sweetheart. She manages her own emotions and troubles very maturely, communicates rather well, and is attentive enough in her few close relationships to be reliable. She will have her slip-ups occasionally, as everyone does, but she’s understanding about when this happens and when she’s hurt people, and does her best to make it up.

-She herself definitely more on the introverted side, and has a similar stance to you on socializing. She doesn’t always enjoy it because she tends to bring her scientific mindset into conversation and it’s often too fast-paced for her to think about the best ways to interact with people. She does like people, however. So she’s generally more comfortable in an observational role. If you take the lead on conversations, she’ll happily stand at your side and listen quietly--may even pipe in, if she likes the topic enough.

-Your goals, hobbies, and ambitions all line-up really really well! Sucrose would love for you to take an interest in her experiments, and would likely take an interest in your studies without any prompting, too. After all, part of her work in Bio-alchemy is testing how her discoveries much impact or benefit humans. Learning about the human body with you only stands to aid her research further. She’s a student herself, despite working mostly on her own, so she considers you an equal and asks for your help and advice as much as she rambles to you about all the cool stuff she already knows.

-She’d go just about anywhere with you, but by far her favorite dates are documentary nights at home, with pizza and other delicious junk food she doesn’t indulge in otherwise. Bio-alchemy has also led to Sucrose to be very conscious of what she fuels her body with for the most part. She’d also suggest various board games on these nights once she discovers your love of them! She’s fond of them herself, but not always so good. Don’t worry though, she’s not a sore loser. Especially if the wager is a kiss for the winner.

-She very much likes your cat! ...Not just because she’s a cat-girl herself. Sucrose likes all manner of creatures and studying them. She probably conducts various safe experiments on your cat with your blessing, but it’s anyone guess as to what she’s doing exactly. Once she gave your cat some very good brushies and then ran off with all of the loose fur clumps.... Another time she recorded her purring while giving some very good pets!

-Your spontaneity is good for Sucrose! It’s a given that she won’t love all the outings you have together, but she’s open minded and at the very least values new experiences! She has a tendency to stick to her comfortable routines, realizes she might get stuck in a mental rut if she never changes anything up. You’re a blessing for that!

Runner Up: Lisa ....but pls don’t, you and Sucrose are my otp now

#matchup #genshin matchup

[firstbase-skincare]

Vitamin C Serum

WHAT IS VITAMIN C SERUM?

In the most simplest form, a vitamin C serum is a topical infused with high concentrations of vitamin c along with other active ingredients to promote skin care and health.

WHAT DOES VITAMIN C SERUM DO?

Vitamin C Serums attempt to accomplish two things: make your skin biologically healthier and make your skin look aesthetically better.

Different serums attempt to achieve this through different means, and thus not every vitamin c serum is equal.

FirstBase Skincare Vitamin C Serum Benefits

It has a function that prevents your skin from producing melanin, which causes skin yellowing, black spots, and hyperpigmentation. Vitamin C, if used regularly, may help to prevent dark spots from forming in the first place. It's a fantastic skin-lightening agent that works to eliminate brown spots without harming normal skin color.

That stated, FirstBase Skincare acknowledge that the absolute best style of vitamin C skin-care item to utilize is cream, since serums are extra effective than lotions or even cartridge and toners. Sheer ascorbic acid has actually constantly been proven to be the very most efficient at passing through the skin layer obstacle.

As a basic rule, lotions must be split below your cream. If you are actually brand new to using the substance on your skin layer. It is actually potent stuff, thus you merely need to have a couple of decreases for each request. It is actually ideal to begin along with a reduced concentration as well as operate your means up as your skin increases much more accustomed to the component. 5% serums are actually commonly gentle good enough for delicate skin, and you can copulate around 20%, which will certainly operate much more promptly to brighten and also boost skin layer pigmentation.

If you have sensitive skin, we advise starting with a reduced amount of attention and also attempting an examination area first to ensure that no allergy symptoms exist. Take a look at our list of the best vitamin C creams for additional information on the potent active ingredient.

Vitamin C Serum Ultimate Guide

If you have your crown in the skin layer care video game, you've very likely heard of vitamin C lotions. You're most likely acquiring vitamin C in your diet, there is actually no method to promise that it's going right to your skin.

Review on to discover why you should incorporate vitamin C product to your schedule, exactly how to launch a new product, and even more. Vitamin C has an exceptional.

Vitamin C to handle a large selection of inflamed skin problem. Lessening inflammation can easily create a more also complexion. These products can easily assist smooth out fine lines by plumping and also moistening the under-eye region. Although vitamin C is actually even more effective at decreasing overall soreness, some individuals state that it can easily aid reduce staining related to under-eye circles (FirstBase Skincare how to use vitamin c serum).

Vitamin C cream is normally applied the moment or even two times every time. A good policy of finger is actually to purify, tone, relate vitamin C lotion, as well as after that hydrate.

Vitamin C Serum Benefits Can Be Fun For Anyone

We have developed an overview that supplies advice on the formulas of Vitamin C provided under The Common variety. It likewise supplies education and learning on Vitamin C itself and on the differences in between formulations of Vitamin C at huge. Note: The layout of this formula is a suspension of really fine L-Ascorbic Acid powder as well as, therefore, offers one of the most straight exposure of exceptionally high concentrations of Vitamin C topically.

If wanted, this formula can be watered down in a cream base per application to enable the skin to construct tolerance in time. Different items on the marketplace offer suspensions of Vitamin C in water-free solutions in a silicone base to prevent the "fine-grained" feeling of the suspension. These solutions do keep the Vitamin C stable yet they are usually used in heavier silicone bases that hinder efficient exposure of the whole Vitamin C content to the skin (the silicone entraps the Vitamin C).

This serum is terrific for both sensitive as well as acne-prone skin! The advised percent for effectiveness without irritability is various for various forms of vitamin C, as well as therefore they can not be compared just on a percentage basis. Our product would certainly approach a 15-20% L-ascorbic acid product. We make use of a combination of vitamin C, vitamin E and also ferulic acid as this triad of components has been shown to supply a worsening antioxidant effect - timeless vitamin c serum 2021.

How To Use Vitamin C Serum - The Facts

The item is still safe to utilize, it no longer lugs the very same benefits. This is actually the only method to identify exactly how your skin will definitely respond to the serum.

Some people administer it in the early morning to make the most of its own UV-protectant residential or commercial properties, while others locate that it functions most effectively as a night serum. Terminate use if you begin to experience inflammation or pain (vitamin c serum).

Any individual managing these skin layer concerns might intend to consider including a vitamin C cream to their skin care program. Yet it is actually a good idea to begin regardless of whether these issues haven't approached but. While it is actually usually offered as an anti-aging substance, the very best time to avoid aging is before it develops.

The price of these creams may differ greatly, from concerning $10 to $250 for 1 oz. Pay interest to the vitamin C focus amounts.

Things about FirstBase Skincare Vitamin C Serum Do

It possesses some advantages along with sunlight direct exposure so it assists to administer in the early morning as the very first level of defense. Lotions are actually much better than incorporating decreases of vitamin C "enhancers" to your emollient.

When vitamin C is actually used past its own rack lifestyle, it may really have damaging results. Vitamin C is a secure as well as usually well-tolerated element.

The only exception is actually those along with sensitive skin layer. The 2015 research study posted in Professional, Cosmetic and Investigational Dermatology found that 6 percent of research study individuals experienced itching, which the analysts claimed was actually probably due to the level of acidity of vitamin C. Folks with really delicate skin should seek advice from a skin specialist prior to make use of given that potent types of vitamin C may sometimes aggravate vulnerable skin.

About FirstBase Skincare How To Use Vitamin C Serum

I have actually constantly had ok skin, few breakouts however out of no where I was experiencing grown-up acne, hyperpigmentation, lethargy, dry and so on. After being placed on retinol to aid fix a few of what I was experiencing, I chose to incorporate the CE Ferulic to my routine. After I clean my skin in the morning along with a gentle cleanser, I use this as well as level on the Hydrating b5 gel and hydrate along with the Three-way Fat Restore.

With a regular dose of pure vitamin C on your skin, you will definitely discover a radical remodeling in your growing old indications. This is actually the main reason why numerous maturing skin care products contain well-balanced amounts of vitamin C. 3. Repair work Skin An additional terrific benefit that vitamin C skincare supplies is skin layer fixing.

Cheer up the Skin Vitamin C is the best organic skin layer lightener. It hinders the creation of melanin and vanishes obstinate hyper-pigmentation from one of the most internal layers of the skin. People who consistently eat Vitamin C either orally or even topically have discovered an extra even skin layer hue and also brighter complexion.

Vitamin C lessens the opportunities of transepidermal water loss. The finest method to maintain your skin hydrated and plump is to apply a great vitamin C emollient.

Vitamin C Serum Benefits

Both are a really good beginning indicate locate the most effective vitamin C product for you. This cream delivers centered advantages of vitamin C, which is actually known to lessen fine line creases, minimize uneven skin tone, as well as give your skin layer an out-of-this-world glow.

Among the best frequently talked to elegance questions is actually "what sort of skin product should you be actually making use of?" One with vitamin C. It is among minority skincare active ingredients that actually, truly benefits all skin layer types and also tones and practically every dermatologist I have actually communicated along with acknowledges.

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