#I guess I’m not really asking for much

[connectedspace]

as fun as that was, and i would never stop doing fun gift art for the world

its disheartening, and hurts, to try and get engagement from people. to struggle to get asks for weeks. and i know im not the most active blogger, but as soon as i offer free art, i get swamped with asks. where is that beforehand? i dont know what to say entirely, it just makes me depressed. the fact that people are so quick to jump on my ask memes but wont talk to me or this blog otherwise. i dont know what to do

I don’t want to tell anyone that it’s bad to ask for it, or that it’s bad to receive it. Because that’s not what I’m trying to say. But it just sucks to get low engagement and people only interact with you to receive art, often without giving you anything in some way. It’s fine if it happens sometimes, but it’s exhausting when it’s repeated. It makes you feel like people only want you for free gifts that you put time and effort into but won’t give you the same effort

I guess I’d just like to encourage everyone to send regular asks to each other, even if it’s on anon. That’s all I’d want to see not even just for myself but mostly for others

#again I know I’m not super active or have the most posts #but I’ve had this blog for 3 years and have been in the community since 2018 #again it was really fun but considering that I barely get anything for my regular Mundays and have to make regular ask calls #I guess I’m not really asking for much #even if people giving each other stuff like equal attention is my ideal #but I suppose if this trend keeps continuing and I post less stuff like the drawing meme #you’ll know why #I have an ask answer ready to post tomorrow too #my life has just been crazy but Khaos has always had such a chill blog to update #im quite shy and I know I’m not very outgoing but I’ve been around for 5+ years and this just keeps happening #I’m not blaming anyone either or anything this isn’t targeted or whatever #but I’m just already dealing with stuff and I wanted to say something finally #I don’t like making posts like this but I guess I deserve to be able to for once #this is also not the first time it’s happened it happens with a lot of memes I post that are art related so yknow

[bixels]

hey um. u sure make a lot of art about lesbians for a man. you're normal about us, right? ;;

What? Yeah, I’m normal about y’all.

#I understand the suspicion and where you’re coming from I really do but strange thing to ask an artist tbh #ill say this. I try to be cognizant of my positionality as a queer man who enjoys sapphic ships and am constantly checking myself to make #sure my art doesn’t go into territories I don’t feel comfortable with. thereve been times I’ve second guessed myself while drawing rarijack #and thought “Is this too much?’’ and I have to check with my partner who is sapphic. #but also I’m a queer artist who likes drawing queer love. if my content makes you uncomfortable I’d be happy to start a dialogue about it #but there’s a reason why I’ve not drawn women kissing or being explicitly intimate. #anyways my art and thoughts about gay men are not so normal because I like cock so do what you will with that info #ask me #anon

[puppyeared]

its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously

#I have an assignment that was due a week ago and I really really dont want to do it. I have to but i dont want to #im probably making it worse because my brain has built a wall around it so now i can’t do literally anything else until thats done. but #because I don’t want to do it I’m just kinda stuck. turns out this is what they meant when they said emotional regulation is part of #exec dysfunction.. I’ll have a thought like if I get a little bit of it done now i can get it over with. I can just submit something #and then not even 5 minutes later itll be like ugh but I have to draw all the assets out. I have to write things and make spreads ugh #and its just flopping between those two things. i hate it when ppl are like well how much time do you need to work on one thing #because BOY id love to know too. I’d love to know exactly when my brain wants to cooperate with me and work around that but I cant #even my period can’t decide when it wants to punch me in the stomach. which is kinda funny in the grand scheme of things but still #its so weird im just lying on my bed thinking abt all this like damn.. the time will pass anyways no matter what I decide to do.. damn…. #if I submit that assignment now and take the L I literally won’t die. it’ll just be a deduction on an assignment nobody will ask me about #I know this but I’m still stressing myself about it so my thoughts aren’t really connecting to my body. weird #maybe its because Im having a hard time looking forward to things. theres definitely a lot I should be living for but I don’t really feel #a strong attachment to it I guess? it’s been like this for a while with holidays and meeting with friends so I just don’t #I kinda figured its because im pretty passionless and its more like passing interest. but it’s not very fun when it feels like I’m going to #be living distraction to distraction for the next 70 years or so lol #idk it kind of feels like slowly bleeding out. which is funny because I actually did experience blood loss this week #had a 30 minute nosebleed and literally could not stand. also it felt like someone was pinching the back of my brain which was interesting #yapping #does this count as vent #vent #Ive just been making an oc carrd and contemplate changing my blog header for the past 3 days honestly

[shokupanko]

Today is Mayu Monday! ~(‾⌣‾~)

#vocaloid #art #fanart #vocaart #Mayu #Mayu monday #ahhh I love her so much :D #She gives fashionista vibes so I see her in a different outfit #unfortunately the outfit isn’t super dress but hey it’s casual Mayu time because who wants to be fancy on a monday? #I found a simple outfit in Pinterest and went with that dhdjsjsj #also sorry if my art has seemed a little messy! I’ve been drawing directly under sketches like I used to #I kinda like it better than clean line art #it’s something like letting the colors make the shapes and stuff #pretty therapeutic if you ask me #it’s also like you don’t have to abide by the lines so I really like that touch #ALSO I WANTED TO DRAW HER IN A DRESS BUT MU ART WASNT ARTING WHEN I WAS DOING IT HELP DHDHSJSJSJSJ #I guess dressy Mayu will have to wait until next week :( I’m sorry Mayu

[knightinink]

tfw the “random” imps you pulled away from exterminators are actually your daughter & the boy you treated like a son who thought you were dead for the last 15 years (aka, drawing what I saw in a dream that I’m now making into an entire Helluva au).

#in the dream Tilla then asked where Blitzo was & Barb & Fizz got angry & quiet respectively so I guess this is a pre-Oops au #basically how I’m writing it is she faked her death in the fire (to get away from Cash) #& then just never contacted her kids because too much time had passed & she thought it would hurt too much if she told them #so she just let them believe she was dead #this is really messy rn I just gotta do a lot of developing #thanks dreams love when I get an entire au made with them #I may finish this drawing later #fizzarolli #barbie wire #helluva boss tilla #helluva boss au #helluva boss #my art

[goldensunset]

oh i forgot sometimes important trainers have dialogue in battle. i’m glad i looked up at the screen for a split second

#i’m always on that phone… #’do you believe that having pokémon battles helps us understand each other?’ YES absolutely i’m always saying this #your team and even your strategy can characterize you so much #but like it’s so funny that he asks that mid-battle #goldie plays pokémon black #for example: from the way his boldore keeps spamming iron defense i can learn this about him: #he SUCKS #STOP THAT #well on a serious note i guess you could say. prioritizing defense over offense like that means he really cares about pokémon #whether they’re his or someone else’s #oooh i hope he heals my team for free after this…

[bonesblubs]

Oh my god you’re the only person I know of that likes TGCF and TRC and I need to tell someone this

Adam=Mu Qing, Ronan=Feng Xin, Gansey=Xie Lian

Please do you understand

SURE DO

Moon/sun/earth

Also now that you mention it, the class differences are also the same. Down to pretty much the same feelings about it too….

#ask box #not art #dang now I’m thinking about this #I really love this type of trio dynamic #I guess cause when ppl are able to overcome huge social obstacles to be with each other #even if perceived ones or self inflicted #it just further emphasizes how much they care about each other #even if they come off cold about it

[sneakydraws]

pls tell that you have something with adult boreo to post because i actually have a fixation on your arts with them😭 btw your art style’s amazing and your arts help me survive (i rewatched “zanim pójdę” many times and this is work of art)

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVE THIS IS DEFINITELY NOT BASED ON REAL EVENTS

(They did eventually figure something out I guess because I also drew them having their polish Christmas Eve together hehe)

#ask #THANK YOU SO MUCH BTW UR TOO SWEET!! #Anyway I’m in Bristol alone for xmas so I drew this to cope I guess #although dw im not too devastated. I don’t really like polish xmas traditions lollll however I did intend to make gesslers barszcz recipe #only to find the stores woefully lacking in beetroot #oh and in the last pic they’re breaking the opłatek! you do it with someone and then wish them things for the next year #it sucks when you have a family of twenty people but with just your bf it might be nice #boreo #the goldfinch #boris pavlikovsky #theodore decker

[mattodore]

okay so because previous anons asked about sex, I wanna ask about aftercare, how they act after sex? oh and i’m curious how their sex life change after being together for a while

xoxo <3

their aftercare isn't always aftercare-101, if i'm honest. theo is very bad at it and doesn't really... ever... do that for matthias. and matthias may be very good at giving aftercare but theo is incredibly resistant to it. i mentioned earlier that theo really gets off on praise, but... he also flinches away from it. he's so twisted up about so much of what he wants and he's really, uh... well. he makes it really hard to get close to him and offer comfort despite how much he desires it. matthias can't say certain things without scaring theo off (and i mean, like, theo will quite literally run away), so he has to talk around what he wants to say and what theo needs to hear to prevent theo from bolting before he can bring him down.

matthias takes a long time cleaning theo up and massaging his muscles after, and he'll hum or talk to himself in polish so theo knows he's still there touching him (but isn't stirred before he comes to himself on his own by english he can understand). when he's finished, he'll ask theo very simple yes or no questions that let matthias know how theo's feeling without outright asking how he's feeling. he also checks on theo throughout the day, but he has to be even more subtle there or theo starts to feel smothered. is your body okay? do you want me to get you dressed? does your head hurt? do you want me to read to you? he focuses on asking about the physical and what theo wants to do rather than theo’s emotions. matthias has learned that asking if theo's feeling okay after is a quick way to trigger a very, very negative response in theo. it's one of the reasons why i think matthias is constantly asking theo in the heat of sex how he's feeling, because that's when theo is so preoccupied by the physical aspect that the emotional effects leak out without him fighting to keep them in. it takes a few months for theo to get comfortable with the feelings he has after sex with him before matthias can really give him proper aftercare. that’s why the sex they have early on is never anything too crazy. matthias coaxes theo into a better place first.

​i also think it’s important to clarify that it’s not like they’re always having kinky sex. still, theo usually needs physical touch after vanilla sex as well. matthias himself always craves conversation afterwards, so he waits for theo to stir awake (because he often falls asleep after sex) or come back into his body fully to talk to him.

as for changes to their sex life after they’ve been together for awhile… i believe i've talked about this before, but their sexual dynamic turns on its head after a few years. theo starts to take control of the reins and gets more comfortable asking for and doing what he wants. with theo he just has a lot holding him back and it's only after he's grown as a person and worked past a majority of his intimacy issues that he can act on the desires he's been burying waaay down. there's a sort of brattiness that theo starts to have a lot of fun with during sex—a lot of pushing and prodding, withholding, insulting... matthias is having the time of his life lmao, like he loves being challenged and pushed around. matthias takes on a more submissive role during sex as they age, which is fun for him. plus it's kind of the dynamic they've always had outside of sex anyway. of course, there are never any set roles in their sexual life so i'm not saying that it's always like that, but theo enjoys telling matthias what to do and how to do it. they have a lot of fun with it.

#river dipping #asks #anonymous #oc extras #nsft #theodore doe #matthias evanoff #a burning house to live in #echthroi #finally done..... actually patting myself on the back for being able to answer all of these in a day and a half like #normally being asked anything abt my ocs takes me forever to get to bc i just take everything so seriously #......................................exhibit a: this reply jnjhkjfnghk #my ocs are just really complicated so i feel like i have to really expand upon each new bit of information #like theo is NOT ! well adjusted in the slightest #and while matthias can read people very easily it doesn't mean that there aren't times where he messes up #theo is very closed off and he will lash out at the slightest thing that spooks him #and he also... is not really experienced in having good sex yk? so he's so bad at aftercare which i guess is like. well. #good thing your partner is someone who's used to being left to his own devices after experiencing major physical and emotional stressors #matthias can usually take himself out of a scene just because of the nature of his past... #but i think theo does pick up on what matthias does for him after awhile and he tries incorporating it into 'aftercare' #but................. i don't think he really understands what all he should be saying and doing for a few years like not until he's #domming matthias more frequently and has taken the time to look at The Internet lmao jkfjnhkjn i imagine it shocks him a bit #matthias may be good at sex but he does have his blind spots and those normally involve himself… so he never told theo that what he does #for him should be reciprocated………… additionally matthias is very much a giver not a taker #like he doesn’t expect or even really want theo to ask how he’s feeling. but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t need that. #….have been rereading this for the last thirty minutes idk why this is what i’m like Yikes ! about responding to 😭 #whatever post ‼️ theo isn’t good at sex i’ve said it before who can be surprised he gives zero aftercare

[johnsheppard-assshaker]

John Sheppard gets about 2% sexier every season and I think part of it is the ever-increasing sadness in his eyes

#sga #Stargate atlantis #like season one it’s like ‘wow this is fun I’m in space and I have a bunch of cool new friends’ #ans season two it’s ‘damn I guess I have to be responsible and shit but at least I’ve got my friends’ #and season three it’s ‘damn I really care about my friends and it sucks to see them almost die every day’ #and season four it’s ‘bro I will literally ask a man to commit suicide because I love my friends that much. what the fuck is wrong with me’ #and season five it’s ‘the love I have for these people is so deeply ingrained in me and I’m terrified I’m going to have to watch all of them #die and it will be my fault and I can’t stand the thought of that so im going to emotionally distance myself because it hurts too much’ #John sheppard go to therapy challenge

[evansbby]

#thanks everyone for all the kind messages #like seriously thank you #I guess it was one of those things where I was having a really shitty week and then I came on tumblr and just the one thing set me off #and affected me way more than it usually would have #this past week was good for me though #I had three interviews and two of them were for jobs I really really want #and one of them is my dream job so hopefully I get it! #but even if I don’t… I genuinely think the interview went really good like all three of them! so I’m happy for that like #it gave me more practice #anyways with five days away I guess I made my point lmfaooooo #I was angry and upset but tbh anon hate is nothing new and it’ll keep happening sooooo #I was genuinely touched by all the sweet messages! #and also laughed at the ones which were just begging me not to leave poyt unfinished 😂😂😂 like I love the honesty there #but I laughed in a touched way bc I understand that even those asks came from a good place like the intention was good #ANYWAYS yes I was very very upset but this week went good for me so I’m in a much better place #I guess I’m going through a very rocky time irl so it’s making me more sensitive to small things that didn’t affect me before #like anon hate I mean usually I honestly find it entertaining and funny 😶😶😶 #but yeah that one thing got to me but whatever!!! we move #anyways how r y’all! #I’m free this weekend so I’ll be active on here as usual hehe

[crazymecjc]

souyo in their beauty pageant outfits 👀

ask and ye shall receive,,,, I love them 🥺

#persona 4 #souyo #oof my art i guess #yosuke hanamura #yu narukami #carissa answers asks #the fact that they are warm/cool color pallete coded really shows in this one i am Yelling #I definitely scrapped this one three times before being vaguely satisfied with it #still not sure if I’m sold but it’s intended to be a doodle so Yeah #I love them both so so much #also this is the first time I’ve drawn these outfits and it was super fun ty anon

[captaincleverusernamehere]

Oh god. Do I go back to the community theater that’s half an hour away that had a kinda shitty director this summer just because they’re doing Newsies and I genuinely think I have a shot at Davey and I REALLY want to play him?

#I’m conflicted #if no one else in my school decides to do it then I won’t because I won’t be able to get a ride anyway #unless I learn to drive before then I guess lmao (I really should know how to drive by now…) #but it’s NEWSIES #and I’m playing Toby in Sweeney right now and I genuinely think just doing the beginning of pirellis miracle elixir would be a perfect #audition song #AAAAAAAAAAA #I could always just audition and say I’ll drop if I don’t get a good role #I don’t think the director likes me very much anyway. but the music director does and I love him so much so I still have a chance #but idk #bc it’s a really annoying time frame and rehearsals go till late at night (later for folks farther away like me) #and it’s an itty bitty stage with no wings and they didn’t make any cuts last year and just had two casts so either way it’ll be a huge #ensemble and a busy stage #im going to ask if anyone else is thinking of doing it and I’ll decide based off that I think………….. #newsies

[camgoloud]

i simply feel that if you burn shit in your roommate’s skillet you should then feel the obligation to be the one who scrapes it out and cleans up

#sometimes i think about the fact that i’m literally the only person who’s cleaned the kitchen in this place for the entire year and a half #i’ve lived here and i get. a little pissed off #i’ve tried being polite and bringing up the problem without explicitly pointing fingers by leaving cleaning products (which i bought) #out on the counters and sending a text in the group chat like ‘hey! 😊 i got these wipes for us! i think that all of us could #use these a little more often so that the kitchen doesn’t get so gross!’ but it seems that everyone either has no sense of shame or just #genuinely doesn’t mind living in filth for the periods between the marathon cleaning sessions i do every few weekends when i have the time #one of the guys who lives downstairs will just walk right by me cleaning up on his way to the fridge and pretend he can’t see me #which is still better than the other one (the one who just burned shit in my skillet) who once saw me cleaning and asked if he could help #and when i got all pleased and asked if he could maybe take the trash out for me while i was cleaning counters (a small and simple task! #when he’d literally asked me if there was anything he could do!) he visibly deflated. said ‘well i’m not really around here much [so it’s #not my trash in there etc.]’ and wandered off. without doing anything #like. HELLO???? you could have just been like the other guy and pretended you didn’t see me doing all the work if this was how you were #going to be about it #but i guess he wanted to feel good about himself having offered/expected me to just say ‘oh no thanks i love being your housekeeper 😊’ #tbh i really need to be more assertive and be like ‘hey guys i’m sick of this’ and maybe. bring up the Sexism of it all. because. #you know. the whole situation feels pretty gendered #was complaining about all this to an irl friend the other day and she said i should start a chore chart but i don’t want to be responsible #for maintaining the chore chart either! take on the mental load of managing the housework and also turning into Resident Bitch for asking #men to do things for me. you know. there is simply no way out here #there is another woman who lives here as well but unfortunately i don’t think she’ll be much help in forcing the issue because. she doesn’t #clean shit either! #actually in the days since she moved in the shower drain in our bathroom has become horrendously clogged which. well. i mean not to point #fingers but one of us has got about two inches of hair and the other has got a foot and a half. so #i also simply feel that if you clog a drain you should be the one to unclog it but i’ll probably do that as well #sorry for the massive tag rant by the way i really shouldn’t make myself out to be some kind of martyr because i’m not particularly neat #myself but…. ooooh god if the bar isn’t all the way down in hell #anyway i just did a whole bunch of dishes but i left that one skillet to soak passive-aggressively overnight #i don’t think the aggression will come across though because i think he genuinely won’t even pay attention to the fact that it’s still #dirty and i’ll end up being the one to clean it tomorrow #caseyposting

[obikinetic]

I’ve been very busy this past week doing an oil portrait commission irl, so I haven’t been able to draw any of the fanart I’ve wanted to…I tried coloring a couple of my b&w inktober posts though (18: Scrape and 20: Bluff), so at least that’s something! Hopefully I’ll finish my painting soon and get back to the fun stuff >:)

#obikin #star wars #anakin skywalker #obi wan kenobi #star wars fanart #fanart #art #I don’t even openly take commissions either #locals just know I Do Art™️ and ask me to paint stuff for them sometimes #and I’m like “uhhh yeah sure I could do that for you I guess!” #but I don’t even have a set price list and I don’t know what I’m doing 💀💀💀 #and we’re not exactly swimming in cash around here so I don’t wanna charge much #like this detailed 16x20 oil portrait is about to be $160 and I still feel kinda bad #my parents get upset at me for undercharging but I just think nice people should get to have nice art that makes them happy #and I don’t really need the art money anyway so I don’t mind

[littlespoonevan]

#I’m always a little fascinated by this #bc see I feel like I’m really lucky in general #with fic engagement on my ao3 in terms of comments etc #but that very rarely crosses over to tumblr (save for notes on the original fic post i guess) #whereas I look at other blogs sometimes who get So Much engagement on tumblr about their writing #where they'll get dozens of asks and replies on a regular basis about their wips/new fics they've posted #but then that isn't always reflected on ao3 in comparison #anyway this isn't prompted by anything other than the fact that i started making polls and now i want to hear opinions on Everything lmao #except actually i was scrolling back in my asks tag recently to find something from years ago #and i forgot how much tumblr interaction i used to have about my skam fics #and that *definitely* wasn't translating to my ao3 for the first few i posted #but anyway yeah reblog and let me know in the tags lmao #writing adventures