#especially when there is a bad guy that feeds off guilt..

[chirpsythismorning]

This is a continuation in exploring why I think Mike's character regression over the seasons can be explained in part by guilt, which he has yet to confront

Original post

Now we're onto s2, which jumps us ahead in the timeline a bit.

Mike has been calling out to El on the walkie for approx. 252 days now, under what he views as the false hope she might actually be alive. This is mostly based on the fact that Mike thought he saw El outside of his house a few hours after she 'died' (he did see her, bc she was there...) and so a part of him does think there's a chance. And yet this is also isn't something Mike seems to be comfortable talking about the others with.

Which brings us to the crazy together scene. Although this scene has a lot going on, there's one aspect of it in particular that I want to focus on, as it's the driving force for what is going to be discussed, which is that Halloween night was also the last night Mike called El, aka day 353.

I just want to preface what follows, with the fact that I do not personally think Mike giving up calling El, as a concept on its own, means that he couldn't possibly love El romantically or something. It's not even about that idea from an audience perspective. And this is because any average person, in reality, mourning someones' death, should not be calling out to that person for almost a year. Letting go doesn't make you a bad person, whether it was romantic, platonic or even familial. It's called healing and accepting what is and trying to move on and live your life.

Neither does Mike giving up after that night make him heartless or a bad character in my opinion. It literally just makes him human. But that also doesn't mean that's how Mike feels about it, nor does it mean that the manifestation of this guilt isn't going to affect his behavior over the course of the series, causing some very unfortunate choices on Mike's part to then lead to some very unfortunate events for everyone...

Where it starts to get sort of complex is that I think the whole point of the crazy together scene and where it ended up was to for it to showcase how Mike and Will were both willing to accept each other, despite these secrets they've been keeping to themselves.

Will revealed the truth to Mike about how he could still see into the UD, with the addition of seeing this big 'shadow in the sky', followed by asking Mike to not tell the others because they wouldn't understand. Mike then responds by saying El would understand, followed by confiding his own secret to Will that he's been keeping from the others, which is that he thinks he's seen signs that El could still be alive.

The scene then ends with them in agreement that if they're both going crazy, they'll go crazy together, with it arguably being their most incriminatingly romantic moment to date, as it juxtaposes other uncannily similar romantic mentions on the show involving that same word.

But no matter what happens, they're promising to support each other, specifically the weird shit they have going on and could presumably continue to explore that weirdness, without telling anyone else who might judge them for it or misunderstand their feelings entirely...

This is why Mike had no problem with Will going crazy in s2 because as promised, he was going to be right there with him. Also meaning, Mike COULD have had no problem continuing to test out his theory that El was alive, because Will would have supported him.

Obviously, Will sort of had his hands tied in s2 (literally?), but the point still stands. It's not like this was something Mike HAD to give up, because that conversation between him and Will instilled that they would support each other and what makes them feel crazy.

I think the issue though, is that what's causing Mike so much grief daily for almost a year now, is the guilt that came with El's death and him feeling responsible. And so, in contrast to Will's slightly more justified assumptions that what he's seeing could actually be real based on what's happened to him, it's like Mike is asking himself whether he's actually seeing El because she's still alive OR is he just imagining she's still alive because he wants to forgive himself?

A kid deducing that in their head would make them feel pretty awful, don't you think? Maybe even lead them to calling out to that person for almost a year in hopes that they might still be alive?

Meaning Mike choosing that night to walk away, to give up, is likely a result of his conversation with Will making him feel more comfortable with finally letting go of some of that guilt in order to actually start the process of moving on. Because a big part of why he didn't want to move on was because of guilt in the first place.

Also confiding in Will and only Will, not the others, who were hell bent on interpreting all of Mike's feelings for El as romantic, was maybe Mike's way of avoiding the pressure to associate his whole relationship with El as strictly romantic. With Will, maybe Mike knew he wasn't going to spin it into something like that. And he would’ve been right, because Will didn't.

October 30th, Halloween Night (Day 353 - Last call)

You cannot tell me that day 353 isn't framed as the last call. Like Mike is literally walking away dramatically, leaving El alone, with her now just a tiny dot surrounded by darkness. The way it's framed leaves the viewer genuinely feeling heartbroken because there's some very evident finality to what is being presented. And we even see that El feels it too, hence the episode cutting off dramatically with her tear filled eyes.

And so why did Mike choose THIS moment to give up? Why did he choose now to put his 353 day streak to rest? Like, that was impressive as hell. He could have easily kept that going, but instead he decided that this was going to be the last time he was going to try calling out to her...

November 1st (Day 354)

El is still pretty bummed that Hopper came home late last night, but I'm guessing she's even more bummed still processing what might have very well been Mike finally giving up that night too.

Although I don't think El would blame Mike for giving up, still, she too throughout all of this had been building up hope herself. El's been clinging onto the bond she made with Mike, specifically the romantic moments, to the point where she has been watching shows with romantic themes, putting herself in the position of the love interest.

So him not giving up, to El, has been a signal that what they are feeling between each other is very deep and... romantic. Him keeping this going this long is a sign to her that these feelings are pretty much guaranteed. And if he doesn't continue, that hope would obviously dwindle.

At breakfast that morning, Hopper acknowledges the TV cord peaking out of El's room, which is the device she uses to visit Mike from the void, all the way from the cabin. Without it, she is not able to 'communicate' with him, let alone see if he actually didn't give up after that night she feared he did...

Unfortunately her and Hopper have an argument after this, leading to her storming off to her room. And after Hopper is gone, El finds herself being so impatient to see Mike after almost a year of waiting, that she decides to take fate into her own hands. She isn't willing to wait until the evening, which is roughly speaking the usual time Mike uses the walkie to call her every night. She needs to see him now.

And lucky(?) for her, she does!

Finally! A SIGN! After almost a year of no signs that El is alive, since the night she went missing, Mike is getting a sign El is alive!

And he runs after it! He goes to check to confirm his (valid) suspicions, only for her to not be there, with Mike looking disappointed, but also kind of like he's accepted it's a lost cause at this point.

Mike's hope that El is alive and okay and the relief that would come with finally letting go of this massive weight of guilt, is not within reach. He just needs to accept it and let it go. He needs to forgive himself and move on.

On top of all of this, Will is experiencing his own version of crazy. And Mike seems more concerned with focusing on this and supporting Will, than holding onto this hope that El is alive.

So even though Mike just got a sign that El is alive (which parallels to the initial evidence of her being alive outside his house, what literally initiated him to call out to her for almost a year), he doesn't revert back to his approach of not giving up. He sticks by his decision.

The irony of what happens with El the same night that Mike doesn't call, for the first time, is not lost on me...

Tragically, El doesn't know Mike actually gave up (just like she feared he did) because she lost her ability to communicate with him that night.

I wonder how differently things would have played out if she new the truth. Would she have held onto this really romanticized idea of her and Mike's relationship because he never gave up? Or would she have maybe reassured Mike that it was okay that he gave up and moved past it and still hoped and tried to make it work? Honestly, I think the later.

Because again, it's not Mike giving up that makes him a bad person or something that refutes his ability to love her romantically, it just means that it's not true that he never gave up.

And Mike being the only person to know this fact... Um... Cannot be good for him.

October 2nd (Day 355)

As El is trying to revive a modicum of hope that she can see Mike again through the void, to confirm her hopes that he didn't give up, by using the TV like she usually does, she discovers that the cord is broken. It's a lost cause.

On the other side of town, Mike is entirely focused on Will. The previous night, he did not reach out to El. He gave up. And El is none the wiser.

The writers made the choice to have one more night that Mike could have called El because he was at home that night on day 354, a day that actually involved an incident that you'd think would have reignited his hope that she was alive, before he inevitably jumped head first into focusing on Will, with him not being home for the rest of the season. They could have shown us Mike calling out to El from the other side of town, and then cut to her in her room not knowing... And yet, they didn't...

This is where I jump to the end, because the focus primarily when it comes to El and Mike's arcs for the rest of the season are with El trying to find her mom and discover more about herself, while Mike is trying to be there for Will in any way he can.

The sad part is that despite Mike giving up and trying to move on from El's death, that guilt is never really going to go away. He gave El expectations that she had to risk her life to find Will, and all of that built up and inadvertently led to her death.

But maybe Mike can right the wrongs he had El endure by following through on his focus of not letting Will die too? Maybe if Mike can save Will, El wouldn't have died for nothing?

But with this guilt and Mike trying to overcorrect it all, he's also experiencing very real and emotional moments with Will. Will is his best friend, and just a year ago Mike risked everything to get him back. A lot of those moments he experienced with El in s1, moments mixed with romantic expectations, are now also lingering here with him and his friend in s2. Except these aren't forced expectations. Everything Mike’s feeling and doing the entire time comes naturally to him, with none of it requiring pushing or advice from those around him. It's just pure instinct.

In the end, Mike's beside Joyce and Jonathan, who are sharing memories they have with Will to him in hopes it will prove to them he's still in there and able to be saved.

This emotional sequence builds up to Mike using his own memory of Will to try to reach him, one that comes off as platonic in every sense of the word, but visually, and when looked at in the grand scheme of things, especially with what is about to follow and those romantic expectations with El soon being thrust back on him... Well... Shit is about to get real messy.

Upon reuniting with El, Mike was quick to want to tell her that he never gave up, only for her to interrupt him with the exact number of days he called (before he gave up).

This is news to Mike for an abundance of reasons. It means he's not crazy and that El actually was alive those two times he saw her. All this (survivors) guilt that's been building up over the last year could have been avoided if he'd known that she didn't die, that she was okay.

It also means that for some reason, El heard him, and yet she doesn't know that he gave up...

And here Hopper is, revealing that he's been hiding her the whole time aka the perfect person for Mike to take all of this pent-up emotion out on.

Hopper then tells Mike that they will discuss this privately, which I find to be very interesting because it offers a chance for the viewer to see just a glimpse into Mike's emotional state at this moment, without everyone around to affect his ability to truly open up about how he's feeling. And not alone just anywhere in the house, but in Will's room...

Mike is understandably upset because El is alive and Hopper knew this whole time and didn't tell him.

While Hopper didn't technically lie to Mike, at least not in canon because we never got an outright scene on-screen of Mike asking Hopper if El was alive with him denying it (all while knowing she was), it's at the very least a lie of omission...

But the thing is, if Hopper not clueing Mike in on El being alive qualifies as a lie of omission (off-screen), so does Mike not telling El he gave up (on-screen).

If anything Mike's lie of omission also qualifies as a plain old lie, because he outright told El he didn't give up (lied) and didn't correct her when she informed him she knew he didn't. She fully believed it, despite him knowing deep down that it wasn't the full truth.

So while Mike is taking all of his anger out on Hopper as this fighting match comes to a head, it takes a turn.

Hopper is fine with Mike blaming him, he says it's 'okay'. But it's not. Nothing about this is okay to Mike, seeing as this isn't even the whole problem. It's not the problem Mike's actually hiding within his outburst in the first place.

Suddenly Mike starts screaming to Hopper that he's a 'disgusting, lying, piece of shit', chanting LIAR over and over and over again, shoving him repeatedly, only for him to fall into Hopper's arms and start crying, with Hopper reassuring him that he's okay.

Something tells me Mike's emotions here aren't all about Hopper...

Something tells me that Mike's fixation with the word liar doesn't apply to Hopper here as much as it applies to Mike himself (in his eyes)...

The main reason why I think this is what's actually going on here, is because there was no reason to put so much emphasize on this concept of Mike literally walking away that last time he called her.

Why go through the trouble of creating this misunderstanding, by having the TV not work, with El not being able to go into the void to see Mike, THE very night he gave up, if to not plant the seed that this misunderstanding was going to bear some significance? That this misunderstanding (lie? lie of omission?) was going to lead to El assuming Mike didn't give up, all while Mike knows he gave up, but going along with the story that he didn't, for both El's sake and his own?

BECAUSE it's a surprise tool that will help us later!

I also think it's interesting that they decided to have Will go off and dance with a girl at the snowball BEFORE Mike decided to devote himself to El here on out. Like... that is quite the choice after a season of highlighting this bond between Will and Mike where they promise to go crazy together, which is a moment we know Will took romantically.... So, is it possible Mike also took it romantically? We know Will also took Mike's speech to him in the shed romantically, so is it possible Mike did too, with that experience only heightening his emotions and confusion over his feelings for El when he found out she was alive shortly after, leading to his outburst? But then Will is going and dancing with the girl, and here we have Mike's own version of falling behind (the Time After Time lyrics were more literal than you think).

What if they didn't do all of that? Would things have maybe panned out slightly differently if Mike wasn't under the (incorrect) assumption that Will didn't take those moments romantically?

While Mike's guilt might have started in s1, when he played the biggest role in pushing expectations onto El to help them find Will, only for her to 'die', it doesn't end there. Mike's guilt only builds when he holds the knowledge that he did give up hoping she could be alive, all while allowing El to believe the opposite based on what she saw, which was a guiding force for not only her love and dedication to him flourishing, but also for him to then shift his own version of expectations onto himself going forward to make it up to El by trying to be who she wants him to be.

We see how romanticized 353 days is interpreted exclusively as meaning Mike has to be in love with El. But he did give up. So what does that mean for all of this? For their picture perfect love story?

What does it mean for Mike to hold onto this truth, a truth that makes him feel immense guilt, only for him to spend the next year or so making it up to her...?

It means either Mike has to come clean, or he has to deflect and double down.

What option do you think a guilt-ridden, repressed homosexual kid in the 80's is going to choose?

Answer? Deflect and double down.

In s3, Mike is so focused on worrying about El (giving her what he thinks she wants) so he can right all the building up of wrongs he has done at her expense since he met her, and as a result loses Will in the process (where have we heard this before...?)

Instead of Mike having a moment in s3 where he acknowledges that he himself was the first to ever refer to El as a weapon in the first place, to try to save Will in s1, he's now turning around and blaming the others for using El as a weapon 'for no reason'...

No reason? Really Mike? Is it for no reason, or is it just not a good enough reason to you this time?

Or maybe has Mike just actually spent enough time with El now to truly feel a bond with her in order to see her as a full person, slightly outside of this imaginary superhero he's cooked her up to be when he met her that day in the woods, the day his life started because she was his first and only hope of finding Will? (I say slightly bc... I mean we all saw what happened in s4?)

I honestly think it's a mix of both...

I also think it's not a coincidence that Mike doubling down instead of facing the truth about this manifestation of guilt only makes things worse for him. And El. And Will.

Because suddenly he's choosing this moment to blurt out that he loves and can't lose her again, in front of everyone, even to his own dismay and shock. And when El walks in and gives him a chance to say it to her himself, like any person whose in love with someone would want to do, to make them feel loved, he looks terrified.

And when the season ends and Mike is given another chance to say it finally, to El directly, in roughly the exact same spot he had his emotional outburst in the previous season over finding out she was alive at the same time he was still grappling with losing Will again, IN WILL'S ROOM, he freezes. He just lets what happens, happen.

Because after everything, with El right now in front of him, telling him she loves him while being fully convinced he loves her too after everything they've went through, how could he possibly take it back, or try to make her understand his complicated feelings about all of this?

Answer? He can't.

As hard as it is to believe (not that hard honestly based on his track record), Mike's deflection and stalling era is just beginning...

#byler #stranger things #mike wheeler #st analysis #it's just a tragic bizarre love triangle ok it's doing it's job #anyways #mike is a repressed coward #but also a guilt ridden child #both can be true at once #doesn't make him a bad person #just makes him a human with poor choices #and when you make some of the choices he's made and refuse to confront them for what they are #and choose to keep doubling down and stalling instead of facing that truth #the truth will eventually come to bite you in the ass #especially when there is a bad guy that feeds off guilt.. #like i'm sorry mike but you're toast #he can try to deny it all he wants (granted he doesn't have much time at this rate...) #he can try to be the perfect boyfriend he thinks el deserves #he can try to convince himself that writing to el is his way of being devoted to her in the way that a boyfriend is supposed to be #and simultaneously not write to will bc that's romantic and that's a gesture reserved for el ('ThAtS bEcAuSe ShE's My GiRlFrIeNd WiLl!') #and compensate in his own mind by calling will a bunch #hoping his friend will answer so that he can convince himself they're still platonic and do this all the way he's supposed to #but dude... #why didn't you tell will you called?... #why didn't you tell el you stopped calling?... #i think i have an idea...

[babeeangel]

a toxic side of your relationship.

because every fairytale has its flaws ~

angsty short texts (<100w\character). Part 2 with more characters upcoming (you can comment for someone specific)

Isagi Yoichi, Reo Mikage, Itsohi Rin, Shidou Ryuusei, Itoshi Sae, Meguru Bachira, Otoya Eita, Michael Kaiser, Rensuke Kunigami.

[pt 2 includes: lorenzo, nagi, barou, yukimiya, karasu, ness] [pt3 includes: aiku, niko, hiori, chigiri, kurona]

Isagi coddles you too much. He feeds in your delusions, mostly by accident, because he apprehends the awkward moment where he breaks you from within. He keeps the harsh truth unbeknownst to you, he wrongfully thinks white lies are for the best. Sometimes reality hits anyways, and someone tells you with authenticity what's wrong with you. It hurts harder, because you’ve always had these extraneous walls protecting you.

Reo thinks materialistic love can make up for anything. He makes mistakes, just like everyone does, but he never really apologizes. He just sends you an impersonal gift, thinking it’ll make you forget.

He’s not always as present as you’d like him to be, but he defends himself saying he provides everything you could wish for. Except sometimes love cannot be touched. 

Rin doesn’t realize he has an impact on you. He’s so focused on himself, he forgets his harsh words or dirty looks mean something to others. It’s like he forgets interactions go beyond time. He doesn't understand why get so caught up over something he did. “Why does he matters to you that much ?” He won’t accept that he is now part of someone else’s everyday life.

Shidou pushes your buttons on purpose. When you fight, he does and says exactly what he knows will make you out of your mind. He considers that the one that gets the loudest ‘lost’, so he will make it happen. That’s also his way of taking out his anger, making you the maddest possible. He will cross lines to make you sad or angry. He doesn't know where to stop, it's kinda immature.

Sae lowers your self-esteem with how better he is than you. You know that he surpasses you at everything, it’s almost ridiculous. Looks, intellect, strength, sociability. You’re just constantly reminded that everyone will love him better. His ego stops him from denying it or comforting you. Deep down, he likes feeling superior.

Bachira can be judgy. He has this look that makes you feel so stupid. When he doesn’t approve of something, you’ll just know. Because he thinks he has the singular right answer for everything. Sometimes you feel like you should not be entirely yourself, because he’ll have something to object to. 

Kunigami is not the same in group settings as he is when alone with you. When he’s with his friends, it’s like he changes from a less thoughtful, caring person, to a sneery, detached individual. He probably doesn't do it on purpose, but it makes you feel so dumb and belittled.

Otoya is not as involved as you. He cares so little for your relationship, especially compared to you. He acts detached, is passive and sometimes even has the nerve to refuse plans you offer. If you didn’t do anything, your relationship would probably melt off instantly. It’s like he doesn't value your love to its true significance. 

Kaiser gaslights you. He hates arguments and he hates being wrong. So if you even mention the possibility of him fucking up, he will completely turn it around to make you the bad guy.  And if he does apologize, you know it comes with guilt tripping and unfulfilled promises. It’s like he cannot admit his mistakes, but on top of that, he blames it on you. 

A\N: thought of this because i want my Isagi person who will always agree with me even when i'm wrong~ Unrealistic tho, ik

#blue lock #blue lock headcanons #blue lock x reader #bluelock #kaiser blue lock #kaiser x reader #michael kaiser #kaiser #kaiser imagine #blue lock kunigami #kunigami rensuke #blue lock yoichi isagi #isagi x y/n #blue lock angst #bllk angst #otoya eita #itoshi sae x reader #blue lock sae itoshi #itsohi rin #shidou ryusei #bachira x reader #blue lock bachira #bachira meguru #reo mikage #reo x reader #reo blue lock

[bakubros-boo-thang]

Summary: As a single mum, the love for your child is often sharing space with a ton of other emotions, what you don't seem to grasp is the fact something loves feeding off those negative emotions...

Gojo x F!reader, Toji x F!reader (past)

Disclaimer: sfw, scary, angst

Word-count: 2,3K

A/N: It has been over a year since I looked at this story and I only publish it now, because otherwise I never will. My mind is always filled with lots of fun ideas, but finding the time to write them out and actually enjoying the finished product is still something I struggle with. I enjoyed rereading the start of this story and I'm gonna try to prepare a little something for Christmas (something related to my 'Imagine that' story). As you may have noticed by now I can't help but obsess over dad Gojo and always find a way to throw my own maternal feelings (while being childless LOL) into my writing. Hope you enjoy another story, even without it being beta-read &lt;3

Sometimes you would remember the way he kissed you, especially after being away from each other for far too long. Was it love? No idea. Was it just lust? It couldn’t be, right?  It had to be something in the middle, something neither of you could answer. And an answer wasn't needed, because it was just the two of you. Until he stopped visiting. Most of his visits were unexpected, but still, it was shocking when even those visits weren’t a thing anymore. It took time to get over someone you never dated. Someone that was still a mystery to you, but you managed, because there was no proof of your attachment, he had only hurt you and no one knew about the two of you. The issue came when you discovered that the missing proof was growing in your womb though…

Looking through the photo album, you are met with a younger version of yourself. It had been 5 years and as they said: ‘’time heals all wounds’’, still when you looked at the little guy running through your apartment, you couldn’t help but wonder where he was. Toji was not afraid of anything, and assuming by his scars there were a lot of scary things that came across his path. Ironic enough you were scared of many things, opposites attract right? And having someone that’s not afraid of anything would’ve been convenient since your five your old keeps making weird comments about his surroundings. 

It had started with just weird faces when he was two years old. Discovering the ability to make expressions is supposed to be normal for toddlers, but even with the silly smiles and stink faces, there were some expressions that made your skin crawl. You tried to be good about it, telling yourself, that you should catch the expressions, and make sure there’s no trauma involved, but still, it felt like every time you felt bad about something he would give you that look. It was not even a shocked face, but just a weird mix of curiosity and being terrified, even when curiosity was a common expression for toddlers, being absolutely terrified was a lot more complicated. On multiple occasions, the expression had made you run to your room and lock yourself in your room. Thoughts of being a bad mother haunted you before you slowly made your way back to your little blessing, tears in your eyes and guilt all written over your face because the sweet boy's face still lit up seeing you coming back. 

Being a mom has its highs as well. Makoto was everything you had and most moments with him were spent in total bliss, just the two of you. Now five years old, he has a lot to say, as he was the one that made the connection between his fears and the way you were feeling. ‘’Mom, You’re tired today right?’’ He says as he stands before you, debating whether he should climb on your lap. You give him a tired smile as you pat your lap. He’s right, of course, raising a kid by yourself, working two jobs, and pretending your fine with the father of your child just disappearing is quite a lot. ‘’Keep it together.’’ Is all you think. ‘’Don’t scare him please’’, but it’s too late. In the three years since this started, his expression has changed, he tries to hide his fear, which is nowadays mixed with anger and again you feel like you failed. You know he loves you; You see it in the way his eyes light up when you pick him up from school, the way his messy hair bounces when he runs to you, and the way he tries to hide the way his body reacts to you sometimes. That poor brave boy… He probably sees how you feel and already his expression turns into determination. He jumps on your lap and as his tiny arms wrap around your neck you can hear him whisper ‘’Please leave my mommy alone…’’. And for the moment that’s everything you need to forget about the exhaustion you feel.

Makoto is not one of those kids that need to sleep in his mom's bed, he likes sleeping in his own room. You wish he would be one of those kids sometimes, but you know why he isn’t and that’s why you spend yet another night by yourself, This time though you allow yourself to think about his words: ‘’Leave my mom alone.’’ and as strange as they sound, you cannot help but feel that he’s speaking the truth. He had held on to you for dear life, making it seem that he was terrified and wanted to protect you from something. Especially the past years had been filled with these types of situations and yet you had chosen to just ignore them. That needed to change, tomorrow you would stop ignoring the problem, but tonight you needed to try to get some rest. Closing your eyes for another night, a moment of peace and quietness, you can already sense that tonight will be different. 

The moment you close your eyes, you feel your body stiffen and you sense it. It being the weight on your shoulder. You don’t know what it is, but it feels like it’s breathing in your neck. You’re terrified. You want to scream, but you can’t move. You can only close your eyes and pray that Makoto gets away safely, that someone will take care of him and that his memories of you are happy ones... A harsh pull on your arm and you fall off the bed. Standing there before you is your sweet boy. His eyes are yet again determined and as he helps you get up he tells you that he’s happy. ‘’Why are you happy Koto?’’ You let out as you grab his arm and make your way out of that damned bedroom. ‘’Because you know that I’m not lying.’’ And he is right, whatever scares him, is not you, it’s something on you. You can’t explain it, and you don’t know how to get rid of it, but you know it’s there. You kneel before him as you squeeze his chubby cheeks and let out a brave smile. ‘’I know you’re protecting me baby. I don’t feel like staying here, let’s go outside.’’ And with that, the two of you quickly put on some shoes and your jackets before practically running down the stairs of your apartment. 

After roaming through the streets for at least half an hour you decide that this is no way to spend the evening with a five-year-old. ‘’You want a hot chocolate? We could share some milk bread as well! Just for today, because we deserve it…’’ You say as you point to the small diner across the street. You never visited this street, so you can only hope that they have some space to be seated. Leaving the house was a great idea, but you know that the house wasn’t the problem. You are, well not you, but the thing you can still feel on your shoulders. it feels a little lighter and you can only blame your brave son for that, but it’s there and it feels like it grows bigger every second you stress about it. Before crossing the street you pick up Koto, making sure that he is safe, especially with the streets getting dark quicker around this time of year. ‘’Mommy, can I have marshmallows in my chocolate milk?’’ Koto asks as the two of you enter the diner. It’s almost empty….except for a table with two men. Good, you’re not the only one here and the shop won’t close for at least two hours. Being surrounded feels safe at this point. ‘’Koto, you can pick out a table over there, while I order for us.’’ You say as you put him down. He gives you a smile before he carefully debates which table is the best for the two of you. It makes you happy. The fact that he can still smile at you. ‘What will it be ma'am’’ The girl behind the counter asks you and after your are done giving your order, you make your way to the best table there is. As you set down the plate with a small milk bread you take a seat across from Makoto. ‘’Our drinks will be there in a few, you can start with the milk bread… It’s really good.’’ You finish as you sneak in a bite. You forgot to bring some of his toys and you can feel yourself getting tired. ‘’Not here please.’’ Is all you can think. ‘’Mom, you can nap until our drinks are here… I will guard you.’’ And even though you shouldn’t use that as a reason to close your eyes, you still do. ‘’Love you Koto baby, enjoy your bread.’’ Is the last thing you say as you see your smiling boy disappear behind the black of your own eyes.

‘’Are we done here, Gojo?’’ Nanami lets out as he can feel the vein on his forehead pop up. ‘’Just a quick mission’’, was all Gojo had said. Nothing about eating milk bread at 10 pm. Amazing milk bread, from his favorite diner nonetheless, but still he didn’t plan to spend extra time with the reason for all his stress. ‘’Wait, look at that woman…’’ Was all Gojo let out. He had noticed you when you came in, carrying your young child. Looking tired, but obviously happy, or at least that was what he thought. Obviously, it had been a facade, something to put your kid to ease, because the curse on your shoulder was huge. It still was nothing for either of them, but for a non-sorcerer, this could turn out very dangerous. ‘’We should exorcise it and go, can’t bother her kid with your behavior.’’ Nanami stated as he got up from his chair. ‘’Wait, I need to do it.’’ Gojo said as he moved to your table before Nanami could. Gojo had noticed more than just the curse. He had noticed an ever stronger cursed energy than that of the curse. The cursed energy of your son and even without that he could’ve noticed that your child knew what was going on. He saw it in the way he kept looking at you. Even while enjoying his drink, he noticed the expression on his face. When he locked eyes with you he looks concerned and with a sad smile, but when his eyes slightly moved to the side he could see the nervousness and anger directed at the curse. He had to be fast, it was a wonder that the curse had not attacked either of you guys. As he reached the table he quickly slid next to the little boy. The boy didn’t seem fazed or surprised by him sitting next to him. ‘’Why are you here?’’ Was all he said as he took a sip of his hot chocolate, his gaze never leaving his mother. Gojo took a quick peek at your sleeping face. You were pretty, but obviously in distress. Your face was scrunched together and it seemed as if you were stuck in a sleepless sleep. Turning his focus back to the boy next to him he was met with another unimpressed expression he knew all too well. He had one of those in the teen variant at his home. He couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped him but was met with an annoyed sigh from Nanami and a ‘’What?’’ from the little boy. Turning back his focus to the mission he leaned into the boy. ‘’How are you gonna fix your mom, little one?’’ He whispered. And for a moment the boy's expression was insecure, full of doubts, before returning to the unimpressed expression he had at first. ‘’ I’m going to get rid of that thing…” It felt weird for Gojo seeing another kid filled with confidence at such a young age. It reminded him of Megumi… the day they had met. The unimpressed boy next to the good-for-nothing dad. Now he was the dad. Kind of. Megumi still acted as unimpressed as the day they had met, but from time to time they would spend a day together. Do something Megumi liked and the biggest gift was the small impressed smile he gave Gojo after those types of days. “My mom is waking up.” Was all it took for Gojo to turn his attention back on you.

‘’How long did I nap?’’ Was all you thought as you opened up your eyes. Only to be met with a stranger with sunglasses. The guy from the other table. You could feel the embarrassment spreading across your body. You had fallen asleep, with your five-year-old entertaining himself and now someone was probably here to lecture you. As you opened up your mouth to say your apologies, you noticed that you couldn’t make a sound. It was on your neck and with every second the feeling of a hand of sorts around your throat got worse. As you take a look down you notice two black shadows on your throat and before you know it your eyes follow the shadows until you finally see what’s been bothering you and your son. On your shoulder is an entity. It has human-like limbs but the body is almost smoke-like, and that explains why it fits on your shoulder. It makes sense. Even when the whole situation doesn’t make any sense at all. All of this happens in a few seconds because as you feel the fear reach every part of your body, you also notice your son grabbing your hand and the stranger removing his eyeglasses, only to reveal two hypnotizing blue eyes.  Before you can see what’s happening you feel two fingers on your forehead and that’s when once again you're left by nothing but darkness surrounding your eyes.

#JJK #JJK X READER #jjk x y/n #megumi fushiguro #gojo x reader #gojo satoru #nanami kento #makoto #jjk fluff #jujutsu kaisen fluff #jujutsu kaisen #gojo x y/n #gojo x female reader #toji x reader #toji x y/n

[sayafics]

Ghost - Chapter VII

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Casper thought she must've been hallucinating, hearing voices when the prospect of dying became more and more real as the minutes passed by.

Or maybe it was guilt from the fact she was ready to kiss a married man. Her stomach turned to lead, sitting heavily inside her as it weighed her down with the numerous consequences of her actions. Especially when they find Rick's family.

But then, the man on the radio spoke again, "hey, are you guys alive in there?"

The man sounded worried, hoping neither of them had been bitten or had already taken their lives to try and escape a bitter ending.

The voice prompted Rick and Casper to shuffle towards the radio, their movements eager and hopeful. But still, they couldn't look at each other, too hesitant of what else they could be tempted into doing if they were confined in such a small place with only each other and death as company.

Rick grabbed the radio to hold between them, clicking the transmit button as he spoke, "hello? Hello?"

Each word was more desperate than the last.

"There you are. You had me wondering," although his words sounded amused, Casper could hear the quiet relief that tainted his voice.

"Where are you?" It was Casper who spoke now, confused on how the man on the radio knew they were in here, where could he have seen them from?

"Are you outside? Can you see us now?"

"Yeah, I can see you. You're surrounded by walkers, that's the bad news."

Rick scoffed in disbelief, "there's good news?"

The pair were intrugued by the prospect, "no."

"Oh. Well, that's helpful," Casper made sure to drag each word, hoping he could sense her bemusement at the false hope he had offered up on a silver platter.

She had always been more of a gold girl anyway.

"Listen," Rick had decided to take the opportunity to speak, looking for any chance he could to make it out of this with Casper so he could prove to her he meant his words, "whoever you are, I don't mind telling you I'm a little concerned here."

"Oh man. You should see it from over here. You’d be having a major freak-out."

"Seriously dude? Not helpful."

Casper was getting frustrated. Why had he decided to contact them if all he was going to do is antagonise the situation and put them more on edge whilst waiting for, what now seemed to be, an inevitable death.

Rick looked at her in exasperation, clicking off the transmit button as he looked to her in earnest. "C'mon Cassie," there it was again, the one name that caused her heart to swell and her mind to blur, the one thing that caused her to push all else aside and accept whatever he asked of her, "look, the only way we get out of here is if we know what's going on out there. This is our chance. He's our chance. To stay alive, to live. I made you that promise. Let me fulfil it."

Her wary stance had resolved at those words. She sighed in defeat, pulling the radio from his grasp to press down the trasnmit button once more.

"Got any advice for us?"

If the man was surprised by the change in her attitude, he didn't make it known - "yeah, I'd say make a run for it."

Casper looked towards Rick, her face deadpanned as she raised her eyebrows in an 'I told you so' fashion. It was now Rick's turn to be wary, "that's it? Make a run for it?"

It was like he wanted them to die despite seeing them escape death so narrowly.

He tried to justify his method, "My way’s not as dumb as it sounds. You’ve got eyes on the outside here. There’s one geek still up on the tank, but the others have climbed down and joined the feeding frenzy where the horse went down. You with me so far?"

Now that. That made sense, it even sounded plausible.

"So far," Casper waited, hoping the silence would bait him into giving more information faster.

"Okay, the street on the other side of the tank is less crowded. If you move now while they’re distracted, you stand a chance."

A chance?

A chance.

It was all they needed. One chance, to at the very least try.

It was either that or to starve to death or to use Rick's last bullets for what he had originally intended.

No. She couldn't do that. They wouldn't do that.

The voice continued, "got ammo?"

Casper exchanged a look with Rick, seeing the disappointment in his eyes as he recalled the bags that dropped from his shoulders as he fell to the ground when the walkers had first attacked.

"In the duffel bags we dropped out there, guns too. Can we get to them?"

"Forget the bags, okay? It’s not an option."

Casper's heart sank at the notion - fragments of her life laid in her bag, and now she had to face leaving it behind before she could even scratch the surface of finding out more.

There were still the other photographs, but there was also the walkman. And the tape waiting to be played inside it still remained a mystery.

Rick saw how Casper's face fell at the plea to leave the bag behind and hightail it out of there. The sight caused his heart to clench in grief.

This was because of him.

Because he wasn't careful enough, wasn't smart enough, wasn't focused enough to do what needed to be done and protect her.

Now he had lost her the only thing that linked her to her past, to her folks and to whoever left her behind in that hospital room.

The voice had been waiting for a reply, but in the face of silence he prompted further, "what do you have on you?"

Rick could see how Casper found herself trapped in the depths of her mind again, where she was probably listening to the words the man had spoken on replay as she thought about how to make things right.

Her finger was still pressing down on the transmission button, but instead of being raised between the two, it had sunk to rest against her knee.

He reached for it, hesitating only for a moment before choosing to wrap his hand around her own. A show of solidarity, but also a sign of his guilt and a plea for forgiveness.

He raised the radio to his lips, but he never took his eyes off of Casper. If he was being honest, he would have never been able to. Not for long anyway.

"Hang on," he spoke as he hurriedly checked his the handgun he took from the soldier's corpse, counting the bullets before looking around for anything that could help.

Then he sees it - a hand grenade sitting on a shelf, he reaches towards it and pockets it.

"Yeah. Yeah, I've got a beretta with one clip. 15 rounds."

He doesn't mention that Casper has one too, doesn't want to risk putting her in the line of fire.

No, he can do this for them both. He can get them out and keep them alive.

"Make ‘em count. Jump off the right side of the tank, keep going in that direction. There’s an alley up the street, maybe 50 yards. Be there"

The order seems to snap Casper out of her thoughts as the line goes silent, she looks into Rick's eyes as they filled with anguish.

"Rick we can't just leave the bags."

Bags.

But he knew she meant one in particular.

"It's all I have left. I can't lose it. What if- what if they're still out there? What if my dad's alive? And I can't even remember him, because all I have left is a stu-"

Rick cut her off, hands moving to cup her face as he pulled her tear-filled gaze to focus on his own eyes. His voice was a hushed whisper, "hey, hey. That's not going to happen."

Casper shut her eyes in disagreement, it would. She knew it would.

A part of Rick did too, but if they continued to argue over this, soon their short window of escape would disappear completely.

"Sweetheart, look at me. Hey, look at me. Please."

Casper obeyed his pleas, holding back sobs at the idea that she would have to leave behind a life she hadn't gotten a chance to remember.

"We'll come back. I swear, we'll come back and we'll get your bag, okay? But I need you safe, and that means we have to go. Now."

There it was again, his authoritative rasp, the role that he found so easy to fall into - a voice she found so easy to obey.

She nodded slowly, hands coming up to wipe her tears but Rick's own beat her to it. He brushed his thumbs against the streaks of tears that stained her face, using his hands that cupped her jaw to pull her forward.

Once again, Rick found himself hesitating. But the thought that they could die in just a few seconds outweighed any guilt he felt, so he pressed a gentle kiss on her head, promising to himself that he would get back everything she had lost.

"Have you been listening?" It was the man on the radio, again.

"You're running out of time."

"Right," Rick had gotten her into this mess, and he would be the one to get her out.

He turns towards a metal bar on the wall of the tank, pulling it off, his breaths heavy as he turns towards Casper.

Casper looked at him, so trusting but so defeated, and he reached a hand out towards her. She found herself taking his hand without question, tightening her grip when he squeezed her hand in a silent question, 'you ready?'

She wasn't. Not really, but she would pretend she was. So Rick could get out and he could be safe again, so he could have a chance to find his family.

She stood up next to him, he met her eyes as his voice took on a serious tone, "don't let go of me. Whatever happens, unless I am dead on the ground, you stay with me. Okay?"

Stay with Rick.

She can do that. She can.

So she nodded, and Rick took that as his signal to open the hatch. The movement caused a walker to immediately see them, causing it to snarl and growl in their direction.

Rick didn't look back at Casper, relied on the feeling of her hand in his to know she was there, and she was safe. He hit the walker across the face with the bar, pulling himself to the roof of the tank, tugging at their intertwined hands to get Casper up faster.

Together, they jumped off, landing hard. The force caused Rick to land on his ankle, pushing a cry out of him, "Ah!"

"Rick!"

Rick shook his head towards Casper, and Casper took that as her sign to push on. She pulled at their hands, dragging him towards the alley as Rick used his spare hand to shoot at the walkers closest to him, and she held onto her dagger in case any got too close.

Casper didn't dare to look towards the bags, knowing one glance would cause temptation to sink into her heart, and that moment of hesitation could cause them both to lose their lives.

Veering left, Casper comes face to face with an asian man in a cap - the man on the radio.

His gun was raised up and pointing, "woah! Not dead!"

It was then Casper realised she had subconsciously placed the edge of her knife against his throat, cleary thinking of him as a threat in the heat of the moment.

She lowered it quickly as he yelled, "come on! Come on!"

The three of them move back into the alley, pulling a tall chain link gate closed behind them.

"Back here!"

They followed him further down the alley as walkers trickled in through the gap in the chained fence, Rick shooting the nearest one as he covered their back.

The man starts climbing a fire escape ladder, Rick pushing Casper up next to help her climb faster.

The ladder leads almost straight up to the roof of the building, and Rick looks around as the walkers begin to close in on him, "Rick! Come on! What are you doing?"

The panic in Casper's voice snapped him out of his stupor, pulling himself to the top of the ladder, where they then stood on a platform, panting as they tried to catch their breath.

Rick felt a solid punch to his shoulder, there was no real force behind it but it still stung, he rubbed at it as he stared at Casper with accusing eyes, "hey!"

"Don't do that again. You idiot," his eyes softened at her words, his body relaxing as she threw her arms over his neck and pulled him into a tight embrace. He found himself winding his arms around her waist, pulling her in closer to him as she whispered, "they could've gotten you."

He pulled back slightly, "but they didn't. I'm here," his hands moved to cup her face, "I'm here."

The man who accompanied them seemed to have finally caught his breath, snapping them out of their moment as he spoke in an exasperated manner, "nice moves there, Clint Eastwood. You the new Sheriff come riding in to clean up the town?"

A snort escaped Casper before she could stop it, quickly covering her mouth and shrugging off the raised brow on Rick's face in response, amusement colouring his features

Rick looked back towards the man, "it wasn't my intention."

"Yeah. Whatever. Yeehaw. You're still a dumbass"

"Rick. Thanks."

"Glenn. You're welcome."

They both looked at Casper expectantly, "Casper."

Still, they stared at her, she raised her hands in surrender, "thanks for helping us. Turns out, you were useful." She nodded her head in admission, the confession causing a smile to stretch across Glenn's face as he replied with another 'you're welcome'.

Glenn peered over the edge, looking down at the walkers that have mobbed the bottom of the ladder, threatening to overwhelm it.

Casper takes it upon herself to look up the rest of the way, observing how the ladder extends straight up several stories without any breaks.

"Please don't tell me we're climbing that. I don't exactly have the best stamina right now."

Glenn at least looked sorry when he replied, "the bright side: it'll be the fall that kills us. I'm a glass-half-full kind of guy."

"Really? Couldn't tell."

"Ha-ha, so funny."

Glenn walked past Casper, starting to scale up the ladder before looking at her expectantly.

Rick didn't know how to feel about the budding dynamic between the two, didn't know whether they'd be friends or hate each other and throw snarky remarks. If he was being honest, he didn't know which one he would prefer.

But, ever the gentleman, he still nudged Casper towards the ladder, encouraging her to go first so he could stay behind her in case she did get tired or slip and fall.

The climb had gone quicker than expected, but all three of them were huffing and puffing by the end, jogging lightly across a bridge between buildings.

"Are you the one that barricaded the alley?"

Glenn looked towards Rick, shaking his head, "Somebody did – I guess when the city got overrun. Whoever did it was thinking not many geeks would get through."

Rick nods in acceptance as Glenn opens a hatch, leading them down into the building they were currently on top of.

"Back at the tank," Casper chimed in, "why stick your neck out for us? I mean, we almost got you killed in the process too."

"Call it foolish, naïve hope that if I’m ever that far up shit creek, somebody might do the same for me." Glenn's eyes lit up at the confession - he truly meant every word he spoke, and that softened some of the apprehension Casper held. "Guess I'm an even bigger dumbass than you."

Rick went to speak, but Casper beat him to him, "no, you're not. You're exactly the kind of person a world like this needs." She patted his shoulder lightly, a sign of growing trust.

Glenn ent her eyes in surprise, a hesitant smile on his face, "thanks."

They continued following Glenn down into the building and heads on a swivel as they make sure it's clear before hurrying through the building into another alley.

Glenn pulls out a walkie, speaking quietly into it, "I'm back. Got guests plus four geeks in the alley."

Casper stepped back in surprise as two men in riot gear came out of the other building with baseball bats, her hand finding Rick's arm just to make sure he's there. That he hasn't left or gotten hurt.

They run up and beat down the walkers near them as Glenn yells, "let's go!"

One of the men in the riot gear also yells, "Morales, let's go!"

Casper, Rick and Glenn run through the door as the two in the riot gear come in last, closing the door behind them.

There was a moment of silence, Rick and Casper sharing a look of disbelief as they take in the situation - they made it.

They got their second chance. Or, did this count as their third?

Before they could celebrate, a strong-headed, blonde-haired woman pushed Rick back into a stack of boxes and shoved a gun in his face, spewing words in this face.

"You son of a bitch. We ought to kill you."

The words sent a strike of fear in Casper, seeing how close Rick was to death again and that he could be taken away from her so easily. The fear bubbled into something stronger, something rageful, something so instinctive within her, she couldn't stop herself as the blonde lady's group tried to get her to back off.

Casper readjusts the weight of her knife in her hand, her spare hand clenched as she marches the short distance to stand behind this 'Andrea' woman, Rick leaning as far back as he can whilst staying silent.

Casper' hand finds its way into Andrea's hair, yanking her head back from the roots of her hair, the force causing her scalp to sting and burn, holding back tears at the pain as a sharp gasp escapes her throat.

Casper's knife came to her throat, resting right under the angle of her jaw. The pressure she placed caused a small knick on her neck, drawing blood as Andrea hissed in fear, her hands now shaking despite being so brave and fearless.

The rest of her group was stunned into silence. Everyone held their breath as they waited to see who had the upper hand in this situation.

"Casper."

She ignored him, tugging harder as she pressed the knife into her neck, waiting for her to snap out of her terror-filled state and drop the gun.

"Cassie."

There it was. Again.

She looked up at Rick, meeting his eyes - his understanding, pleading eyes.

He knew why she was doing this, but he also knew this wasn't the time or place. They were outnumbered.

Doing this would hurt them. Hurt him.

She couldn't do that.

But she didn't let up, keeping her hands and knife where they were as she goaded Andrea, "well, pull the trigger."

Her words sounded amused, but they could all hear the threat in it, and it seemed that was what had pulled Andrea out of her stupor. Her grip on the gun loosened as her arm dropped by her side.

As soon as she saw Rick was out of danger, she threw Andrea's head to one side, causing her to scurry towards the other woman in the room.

There was a tense silence in the room, but Casper didn't mind - relieved Rick was no longer in danger, she stood by his side.

Sensing her restlessness, Rick threw an arm over her shoulder and pulled her into his side, "I'm okay. I'm here." The motion caused a sigh of relief to escape her, as she allowed herself to relax once again, basking in his warmth as she wrapped her arms around his waist.

Andrea's sobs broke the stifled atmosphere, "we're dead - all of us - because of you two."

"I don't understand."

Morales turned towards Rick, nodding in head to follow him, "look, we came into the city to scavenge supplies. You know what the key to scavenging is? Surviving! You know the key to surviving? Sneaking in and out, tiptoeing. Not shooting up the streets like it’s the O.K. Corral."

T-Dog then chimed in, "every geek for miles around heard you popping off rounds."

"You just rang the dinner bell."

Casper turned to Andrea, "it's not like we had a choice."

"That's not the point, this is."

They led the newly arrived pair through to the front of the building, a department store. Outside the glass windows were walkers banging and pushing into them, more growled behind them, pushing too.

They both stared, stunned. Casper could even admit she was feeling a bit guilty at what they had gotten these people into. Especially Glenn, he had helped them, and now he might die because of it.

Andrea spoke again, "what the hell were you doing out there anyway?"

"Trying to flag the helicopter."

"Helicopter? Man, that's crap. Ain't no damn helicopter."

"You were chasing a hallucination. Imagining things. It happens." The woman named Jacqui spoke now, but Rick and Casper exchanged a look.

They had both seen the helicopter.

"We saw it."

Seeing Rick's insistence for the sighting, Morales tried to change the topic from what they believed to be their delusions - "hey, T-Dog, try that C.B. Can you contact the others?"

"Others? The refugee centre?"

Rick looked at Casper as she spoke, hope and doubt twinkling in both their eyes before jacqui took it upon herself to crush them.

"Yeah, the refugee centre. They’ve got biscuits waiting at the oven for us."

T-dog came back before Casper could return her sarcasm, "Got no signal. Maybe the roof."

As if on cue, they heard gun fire from above them, the sound causing the group to groan in frustration as Andrea looked up at the ceiling in frustration, "is that Dixon?"

"What is that maniac doing?"

Glenn prompted them to make their way to the roof, Casper and Rick having no choice but to follow.

#andrea twd #daryl dixon #daryl dixon x oc #daryl dixon x reader #glenn rhee #lori grimes #rick grimes #rick grimes x oc #rick grimes x you #rick grimes x reader #rickyl x reader #daryl fanfiction #twd daryl #daryl imagines #twd fanfiction #twd #the walking dead

[lightningonatether]

Does Sam’s opinion of Dream start to change?

I'm gonna give a bit of a long answer on Sam's shifting feelings towards dream. sam is definitely traumatized by the prison. he Is affected by it. perpetrator trauma is a thing and he's got so so much of it. to me the many many times he's doubled down on his worldview and the extremes he's gone to to convince himself he was right all along indicates that he can't allow himself to think too hard about what he actually did. if he was right, he doesn't have to think about it. dream deserved it, simple as. but as plushie, especially post reveal plushie, he has no power over dream to reinforce that worldview. and that's really fucking hard. because he's no longer playing a role in which his ideas are constantly reaffirmed, persuading himself is much harder. especially since he's seeing dream just. act like a guy. sure, he and punz constantly discuss things that make sams skin crawl, and dream spends an hour considering cutting Sam open to see if he's missing some vital creeper organ, and that helps PLENTY with persuading Sam he was right. but he also sees dream just. goof off with punz. make shitty grilled cheese sandwiches. kick punz out of the lab so he can sit down and dip bandage after bandage in lingering regen potions to wrap around his most painful scars. he sees dream cry about his bad leg, and sam gets taken care of. dream gives good pets and with animals his touch is gentle. dreams multidimensional. he's not purely evil, because something purely evil wouldn't hypothesize about what creepers might like for comfort just to keep Sam from panicking in his cell. and if dreams not purely evil... then is what Sam did... even justifiable? no, what is he thinking of course it was- only dreams trying to feed him another treat and Sam's stomach turns.

if he does let himself feel any guilt at all, it would be crushing. it would literally be too much. he can't feel it without sacrificing his last shreds of sanity. I think, if his perspective on dream starts to change, to cope with that, his whole personality would have to flip. think about it. he built himself around the person of the warden, and the wardens relationship to the prisoner. if what he defined himself by was wrong, then he was wrong, a bad person. and he's always been a good person. always. which means- he either has to keep denying that he was wrong. or find a way to be right again in these new circumstances. there are a few limiting factors to what he even Can be. namely, he can't hurt dream or punz, he can't try to escape, he can't be the warden ever again. he has to assume his proper role in this new dynamic. maybe as someone who's... repented? saved? who would never be wrong again. he hates how it feels to be a bad person. he Needs to be a good one. in what ways can he be right and good now? what could he possibly do to make sure he stays that way? this will take him a while to figure out, but I feel like, when he does come to a conclusion, whatever it might be, he'll throw himself head first into building that new person of himself.

#asks #c!Sam #plushie au #dreblr #oh boy there's a lot of foreshadowing in this one huh #also featuring: sam's catholic guilt!!!! #slaps him this bad boy can fit so much of it into him

[yb-cringe]

Do you think buried!Jaiden and lonely!Roier feel any guilt over who they Feed off of?

Would Jaiden feel guilty as she watches the ground consume another victim? Do you think she used to be disgusted by herself for choosing to Feed off people but chose to shove that feeling deep inside because if she doesn't Feed the Buried, the Buried would Feed on her?

Would Roier feel nothing as he exits the Lonely's domain while his victim doesn't? Do you think he never felt a semblance of guilt as he meets back up with Bobby and Jaiden after Feeding? Do you think since he never knows his victims, he doesn't care that they had lives of their own that he threw away?

Technically related, but do you think either of them would feed on *Spreen?* Especially after what he did to Roier?

+ Feed Fears anon

feeding fears??? brother you are feeding me lol

qburied jaiden i think doesnt feel bad at all. maybe later on, when she realizes these people have kids and well. she does love bobby and those parents are the parents of his friends so. but i think while she was cohered into this whole fear thing she revels in the power it gives her. falling, being too close to a detonation—

These are mistakes you make not consequences of serious actions. This is the result of powerless accident. the buried GIVES her power, gives her a simulacrum of control. she decides who feeds on soil, who sits beneath her feet, who feels that fear that kept her bound. its only enhanced when she uses that power to keep her loved ones safe, it gains a ‘moral’ excuse.

but this is the woman who when told bobby was killing villagers for fun, just laughed and said that was her boy. shes ride or die.

qroier i think DOES feel bad in the sense of. he learns about people and sees them go through what he did and theres an echo of his old self that feels for them. qroier is a pretty warm and welcoming guy so its hard to completely extinguish that even with the lonely. i think even after so long being with the lonely, he still looks away before anyone is ever completely killed. he just can’t look. it never interferes with his work bc he does it again anyway, but he gives himself that levity.

SPREEN… yeah. alright hold on let me rb this with an addendum so i can talk about that

#asks #tma au #feed fears anon

[mencnfire]

25. does your muse recognize their faults, or do they have trouble with self-reflection? // For one of your newer guys please!

sad headcanon q’s… 

Sebastian |

absolutely. sebastian carries his guilt as if it's an age-old injury or something. he struggles to bare the weight of the burden of all of his sins but he palms off the realisation / truth with a quick-witted sense of humour and over-indulgence. rather than look in the mirror, he'd instead visit a peepshow. rather than swallow the hard-to-swallow pills, he'll drink hard.

he's entirely aware of the less-than-great way he treats people but he does everything in his power to avoid dwelling on it. if asked honestly, he'd perhaps tell you how much he hates himself and the things he does. but...that conversation would never come about, so instead, he just pretends that everything is okay.

Zero |

david's a very practical man, he's the sort who (as a young man especially) constantly seeks self-improvement. he's always been the sort to take criticism and improve upon whatever needs improving upon. i could see him as seeing those who deny self-reflection as the sorts who'll never grow. despite what he later becomes, he's always been overly aware of his own faults and set-backs.

i have a sort of headcanon that zero once had a love interest as a young man, that around the time of ww2 something happened that made them split and i think it's something he blames himself and holds a lot of regret regarding. it isn't something he'd necessarily talk about unless bonding with someone he trusts, but yeah - i think the zero i play, doesn't have any problems with self-reflection. it isn't until he's older and infected with the parasite and loses his mind that he essentially loses all sense of his self.

i also think he holds regret regarding what happens between him and big boss. he's very much aware of having become a 'villain' but i still imagine david would go out of his way to feed the ducks and be polite to others. he isn't the sort to be a deliberate monster.

Kano |

lmao, absolutely not. kano is genuinely very much convinced that he's the best. kano's got the sort of confidence that makes others jealous, he very much sees his actions as 'things that need doing' and thus he feels no regret while committing these various acts. i've always headcanoned that his adoptive parents did raise him with some morals but he was simply always a 'bad seed' - despite their best efforts, he was just continually misbehaved, naughty and unruly. ( nothing changed into adulthood ).

i think that deeply, someplace, he does experience regret. i've always headcanoned that he had a relationship once with sonya and the reason that they despise each other so much is because of how badly it soured due to his betrayal. and i think one of the reasons he's so hostile toward her is because he KNOWS of his guilt betraying her. kano is the sort of man who responds to self-reflection, guilt and regret with anger. he lashes out, he doubles down. the man can and does experience it but his overconfidence and anger / hang-ups make him not respond in the correct way at all. i think the only time he'd fold is when actually romantically involved with somebody. he will have those quieter moments, but they're so rare - it's a 1/10000 event, haha.

#thank u bae im sorry i waffled for three of my boys sdgnsdlg #sbc | musing | the devils boots dont creak #do | headcanon | the world is not enough #k | headcanon | i give really good foot massages

[irlkanamedate]

The current state of my mental health.

Gonna be real honest right off the bat. Its bad. You guys know its been bad but I mean its real bad right now.

Im a mess and it won't make any real sense i dont think so read or not, its under a cut.

[Suicidal, eating disorder, just in general bad shit I guess]

Its been months of feeling worse and worse and feeling utterly hopeless and lost. Months of constant bullshit from either my brain, my living situation, my fucking financial situation, or whatever else decides to come by and ruin what I thought was things getting better.

I find myself once again falling back into the delusional spiral because I'm having a harder and harder time regulating my emotions and mental state and if I had ever been mean or snippy or just awful to you guys, I am genuinely sorry. I dont even remember a lot of this shit I did cause my visual timeline of things have been cut so much due to just being in this black fog of self loathing.

And maybe it is my own fault for self sabotaging and dipping from so many things. Ruining friendships and all idk. Hell i can't even bring myself to actually talk to a lot of you guys cause im just so... fucking lost.

Constantly torn between multiple different sorts of realities in my brain and being too much in a constant bad mood to feel comfortable engaging or I might say something bad or be snippy so I just run away from it again and again.

I am just some kind of burden to you guys in my own mind. Some kinda burden to my own family. Just some hopeless directionless corpse that genuinely feels like I have made no real impact to anyone. And it isnt any of your faults. I know this isn't really... true. But its such an active hard struggle to fight against this pure delusional thought that I get so tired.

I get so tired trying to just... remind myself over and over. And then my brain fight back going like "if it isnt true then why are you the only one saying it? Where is your proof?" Or pulling some other bullshit move to make me believe this false reality.

Im so tired guys. But I hate being a burden. You guys say I'm not some times but I can't stop feeling like one.

Im not saying this or ever do anything to make you guys shower me in affection and love. I never want to manipulate that sort of thing. I never intend to. But sometimes I think I do it subconsciously cause im just fucking blinded by so much shit.

I cant help but think how much I might actually be a horrible person.

Especially when I want to be mad. I want to get angry. I want to lash out. But I know its often unreasonable. But fuck when I try to be reasonable and hold back and try to be mature I still get a fucking shit result.

I dont know what to do.

I feel like everything is always and has always been my fault. My fault always my fucking fault. It's my fault I can't make decisions. My fault im a people pleaser. My fault I got assaulted. My fault I am poor.

I stopped eating cause I believed it could help my mom if she didn't have to feed mr along with that fucking bastard but here I am spending money on non essentials cause it made me happy.

But nothing really makes me happy in the end does it?

Im still here. Shit living situation, poor as shit, unable to hold a job due to multiple reasons. Unable to get proper medical care. Unable to truely be the fucking man I want to be. Unable to express anything properly and truely.

Im suicidal as shit. I made promises to many people I wont do it. And I still won't. But because guilt is whats keeping me here really.

I do love all my friends so much. I appriciate so much of what you guys do for me. And im so angry and upset I can't always see that cause my brain is so hell bent on killing me.

So I just feel guilty all the time. That I still feel like fucking shit even though I get love and care. I feel guilty for asking for things. Feel guilty for taking up space, for needing things, for just being alive but also feeling guilty for wanting to die all the time now. But I can't kill myself cause I feel guilty for breaking promises and making people sad. But I feel guilty for expressing just how bad I am cause that makes people sad.

Im stuck here by guilt and I dont know how to change that so I just feel worse and worse and worse. I cant eat but I try to eat a little so I dont make people feel too bad but I hate eating.

I dont know. I just dont know anymore.

I cant see any real future for me. I just can't.

And so im just... stuck here. Just existing day by day. Silently hoping one day I just never wake up again. Cause then I didnt make that choice. Something or someone else did for me. And I wont have to feel that guilty. Or something. Or at all cause I wasn't really awake. I dont know.

Im sorry. I'm just not ok. And this isnt even all of it i dont think but im just... so tired.

I am so tired guys.

[prismatoxic]

Tahoe, 2011-2023

we met late 2011. you were 11 months old, fresh off of being returned to the farm where you were born by your original adopters. i never did find out why; i also never got your papers, but though my parents insisted it was important, i never really felt like it was.

your name was "jake". a very average working dog name, but you weren't going to be a working dog. i changed it to "tahoe", and you were so smart, you were answering to it the same day.

you were covered in ticks and filthy. we meticulously pulled every tick out of your skin in the bath station at the local pet shop. you were so nervous... did you know we already loved you? did you know i already loved you?

you were afraid to get on furniture. you had clearly been disciplined for it before. i didn't care; i wanted you to follow me everywhere and do everything with me, including sleep in my bed and be on the couch next to me. i wanted us to have that sort of relationship where i could consider you my best friend.

i remember, a few years in, thinking to myself about how you were a neurotic guy who loved others while also being scared of them. and i was the same way. and i realized i was wearing a black and white shirt, that i usually only wore black and white. it was funny--like that opening to 101 dalmatians. we were the same.

when i moved out, of course you came with me. nervous as you were, you adjusted well, i think. you became fast friends with our roommate's dog. you loved the snow. you figured out that you could easily squeeze through the cat door in the gate we tried to use to keep said roommate's dog out of the room we were inhabiting.

you didn't like mesa at first. not until we moved here, to this house. then all at once you wanted to play with her. she loved you; you were her best friend in the entire world. i don't think she's realized anything's changed yet.

you've been... getting worse. bad teeth. bad joints. tired. after having to say goodbye to kaos, i knew you were next. i knew i would have to make peace with it, sooner or later. i kept hoping there'd be more time...

everyone says border collies don't know when to quit. that they keep going and going and going. yesterday, when you refused to eat, i knew you were quitting. you'd been following me upstairs less and less frequently, going outside of your own volition less often. but you always loved food. you would bark and bark and bark at me to hurry up and come feed you when it was time. you were doing that just a few days ago.

but you didn't want to eat. and you didn't want to go outside. you didn't really want to do anything. when you didn't eat again today, even though i was holding out hope that something would change... i knew. i've had enough pets now to know the signs. they still break my heart, now. especially when it was you.

hearing devot explain the situation to the vet on the phone, laying out all the details that had been accumulating, i realized that there was no coming back from this. 12 years feels too young. it wasn't enough time. but waiting any longer would have only hurt you.

it never gets easier. i'm saddled with guilt over how my own decline in health affected your life. i wish i'd done better. i wish i could have given you more. but i loved you. i hope you knew. i hope you had some inkling of an idea of how deeply adored you were.

i'm sorry i couldn't make it better. i'm sorry we had to say goodbye. i hope the last few moments were peaceful.

i love you. i will always love you.

#tox pets #pet death #animal death #tox.txt

[sargassomermaid]

Yo. Real question. AITA for telling my roommate to take care of her dog? Like she is making me feel like the bad guy and i like genuinely can't tell. She says I am being judgemental when I ever say anything about it, but like she doesn't feed it or take it outside like ever and she is ungodly mad at me for telling her that her dog had not been outside all day. Was it judgemental? I mean yeah a little but when I said it, more what was going through my mind was that the DOG HAD NOT BEEN OUTSIDE THAT DAY and she had just gone into her room instead of letting the dog out (despite having learned the dog had been neglected for 8 hrs and she doesn't like when I care for the dog for her)

Anyways she condesends to me to never tell her how to live her life, I say ok and move on then she sends me really fucking mean texts and I tell her to have a conversation with me in person because the things she was saying were hurtful and maybe she didnt mean it that way (she did). She responds about how I am was being rude and guilt tripping her. 2 things I absolutely was not over text and I am pretty sure were 100% projection of what she was doing because she did both of those things in the convo. And then she finally came home after sulking and said that it was just that interaction that had set her off and I just am baffled.

Like i really don't think that I am in the wrong, especially when I tried like 5 different de-escalation techniques I had been trained in to calm her down and the initial event wasn't that bad or uncalled for. I know that her reactions to me are not my responsibility, but it feels like it was my fault. Idk.

[writingwithcolor]

Arab Character Joining Corrupt Superheroes, Police Parallels

Anonymous asked:

I’m writing a story with a Arabian diaspora main character. The story is about corrupt superheroes, and how they affect an oppressed superpowered minority. The main character is one of these superheroes, naively joining them in his teens believing he’s going to help people. Doesn’t help that his parents are having money trouble. Eventually he ends up fighting a superpowered crook, and gets a bystander killed.

1)I know portraying an Arabian character committing violence is a pretty touchy subject, even if accidental. Is there any way I can write this that makes it clear to the reader that the action itself is messed up without the unfortunate implication that Arabs are violent? 

2)A large part of the story is the MC’s parents reaction. They are loving parents, however after this incident happens, they are confused and ashamed. While they still love him, they temporarily cut ties with him. Eventually they reconcile and start to be a family again. In my research (they are diaspora Saudi Arabians), Family is very important and tight-nit. Shame towards the family is to be avoided at all costs. However I’ve also read that disowning a family member rarely ever happens. Is there a way to write this kind of narrative with respect to this aspect of Arabian culture?

Let us begin with some terminology.

- If a person is from Saudi Arabia, they are Saudi Arabian, or more commonly, Saudi. This is their nationality.

- They may or may not be Arab. Arab is an ethnicity. Not all Saudis are Arab. Not all Arabs are Saudi.

- Arabic is a language. Lots of people across the world who are neither Saudi nor Arab speak Arabic.

- Arabian on its own is a word used to refer to a specific breed of horses.

If you are referring to humans, you want to either say "Saudi Arabian" (both words) or “Saudi” to indicate nationality, or "Arab" to indicate ethnicity. If you’re looking to describe your character’s culture, you probably want to call it Saudi culture. (While grammatically correct, talking about “Arab culture” doesn’t make much sense because Arabs are an incredibly diverse ethnic group and there is no such thing as a single monolithic Arab culture).

Now for the first question. In my mind, the issue is less about the character committing violence, and more about the premise of the story and how it mirrors real-life oppressive structures. You have an organized group of superheroes who think they are doing good by fighting “crooks” but in reality are enacting systemic oppression upon a marginalized group. This immediately brings to mind police violence, racial profiling, and the way that policing in North America is used as a tool of white supremacy while glorified in propaganda as a force for good. Essentially, you are telling a story about a character who joins an oppressive policing force, enacts violence upon a marginalized group as a result, and (I’m assuming) eventually realizes that they are not, in fact, the good guys. This is very close to being a “bigoted character learns not to be bigoted” story. I recommend re-examining your premise in light of the real-life parallels and asking yourself whether this is the story you want to tell. 

The issue is compounded by the fact that your character is an Arab teen, who in real life is more likely to be the one facing racial profiling from the police. Taking this character and making him the oppressor in your story makes the already flawed premise even more problematic, especially if the characters in the oppressed group are white.

As for your second question, it seems believable to me that a teen’s parents might reject him if they learned that he committed a crime. However, when the family in question is Arab, you are suddenly feeding into harmful tropes about oppressive and violent Arab parents. You are asking if there is a way to write this respectfully. I believe that there is, but it requires a great deal of care, nuance, and cultural awareness. While it is possible to write a Saudi Arab character grappling with the consequences of violence and familial estrangement in a compelling way, the way your ask is phrased leads me to believe you are not equipped to do it justice. 

- Mod Niki

Think about why Arab people committing violence is a touchy subject, and then think about the general propaganda narrative that came about from the act that made things so touchy. 

It’s going to sound one hell of a lot like what you have here.

Military and police use buckets and buckets of propaganda to continue hooking in young, impressionable teens to commit state-sanctioned colonialism and oppression. That propaganda looks suspiciously like “we have health insurance, we will pay for your education, you just have to do what we tell you even if that means hurting or killing others, but it’s okay because you get to be the hero in the situation.”

Now, propaganda is a very powerful tool. I was taught, in my media classes, that controlling the message means shaping reality. The media is built as a propaganda machine, and when you start to see who owns what media properties you start to see some really disturbing patterns (Rubert Murdoch owns a lot of right-wing sources across America, the UK, and Australia, and he’s too rich to investigate his culpability in spinning terrible narratives found in right-wing publications. He owns the big names).

As Niki said, this situation mirrors police violence and police-sanctioned terrorism. And the very, very unfortunate implications of making the target of police violence be in that wheel. But I want you to look at the media situation that has made the plot happen.

Because even if you swapped out ethnicities, you’d still have a reckoning to do with the American culture that their primary social safety nets involve killing people.

I am not kidding.

Some of the most well-funded unions in the country are police unions. These people have pensions. They have health insurance. It’s damn near impossible to fire them. They get overtime very well mandated, and it’s a known thing among defence lawyers that arrests happen right before a cop’s shift will end so they get the overtime of filing the paperwork. They absolutely go into poor neighbourhoods and recruit based off people needing an escape, and them having the money to provide it.

A similar sentiment is true for the military, except they push for college education a bit more and don’t really have overtime, but they do have deployment bonuses. So the way to get extra pay for yourself is to go out and do colonialism outside the borders. The military doesn’t necessarily like it when the economy is doing well, and don’t like the idea of college being affordable, because they rely so heavily on poverty and fear of college debt to recruit. 

The story you’re telling here goes so far beyond an individual’s actions and instead taps into America’s single biggest cultural investment: that oppressing others makes you a hero. 

The Pentagon funds most military media out there as a propaganda tool, including most superhero movies and a large number of video games. This is in their budget. They will also go so far as to literally commission the games to exist. Part of getting that funding is you cannot critique America’s military, basically at all (the only exception I’ve seen is Ms Marvel, but that’s set in the 90s). This turns any sort of military-using media into a potential propaganda tool.

And the thing is? Even if you fall for that propaganda and were part of the military or the police, you still have to reckon with the fact you put whatever your own desires were above a huge track record of those groups being terrible. You still have to reckon with the fact you didn’t realize they were wrong, and were complicit in a lot of crimes.

This goes very far beyond “the action is terrible” and goes into “the system is rotten to its core, and you chose not to believe it, or to believe you could change what was built with blood.”

“Good” police officers get fired. If you try to question anything, if you try to say this action is wrong, you will absolutely get destroyed. Military’s much the same. You need some degree of buy-in to the concept of white supremacy to sign up for the military or the police, because you need to see their actions as not deal breakers instead of actions that violate multiple international laws. 

In short: you need to see the people being oppressed as deserving of being oppressed to some degree in order to participate with police and the military.

Marginalized people can hold this belief, it happens. But that is a very sticky situation that outsiders shouldn’t touch. 

It’s possible but difficult for you to write a white person having this sort of arc, but it would be extremely challenging to have it not come across as a white guilt story. To not have a socially aware audience roll their eyes at how long it took. You’d definitely not be writing a story with a diverse audience in mind, because you’d mostly appeal to those who saw the propaganda as just fine and not that bad.

This isn’t even getting into the oft-cited adage that boys who bully others become cops, while girls who bully become nurses. And the more police atrocities become mainstream news, the less and less people can convince themselves that becoming a police officer is a good thing.

Which brings me to the point of: how well-documented is this oppression? Is this character walking around in an oppressive situation like, say, pre-social-media where there was no direct access to the oppressed groups and you could close your eyes and look away even if it made national news? Or is this in a media connected world where these oppressed populations have a voice in the narrative?

The former has an angle of the character slowly realizing the horror and it’s slightly more forgivable for their early ignorance. But in any sort of world where there’s access to the people getting hurt? Things get more and more “ignorance is indistinguishable from maliciousness.” And keep in mind, these stories are read in the real world, where police brutality and war crimes go viral, and a lack of knowledge is getting harder and harder to defend as a position.

Media plays a huge role in shaping our perception of what’s happening. Cameras on a situation makes different activism tactics work, as we can see with how activism changed in the 60s and 70s as tv reached the masses. Social media has made it possible for you to look up firsthand accounts of discrimination within seconds. 

This is a factor you are absolutely going to have to consider, when you want to look at how nice your hero is seen by marginalized or otherwise socially-aware people. If there is a way to find out how bad this superhero organization is before you sign a contract with them? Then that doesn’t look particularly good on the “hero”. You’d really have to establish them as super idealistic, super sheltered, super desperate, and/or just swallow the knowledge that they really don’t see anything that happens “over there to those people” as that bad. 

All of the above is more than possible. And they’d still be seen as complicit no matter what justification you gave, because they are.

Does this mean all corrupt organization stories are off limits? No. The reason these stories have such deep cultural resonance right now is because of the propaganda I outlined above. 

But you as the author are going to have to examine your own engagement with the propaganda narrative and do your own private reckoning so your own sense of guilt and compliance doesn’t bleed through the narrative too strongly, so you can tell a good story instead of an overt message story that’s you working out your own feelings.

By all means, write a story where police and the military are taken down, where propaganda is weaponized and the media is controlled (because that’s sure as hell the modern world). 

But know that stories where the hero discovers the corruption already have a ticking clock because we, in the real world, are slowly being faced with a mountain of apathy instead of ignorance. The knowledge of oppression is out there so much that marginalized people are tired of the ignorance defence. 

As the saying goes, “privilege is the ability to ignore the oppression of others.” 

Propaganda, centralized media, and strategic cultural investment made it possible for police and the military to have a chokehold on their public perception. But that’s changing. The chokehold is starting to fade, people are starting to question their beliefs. 

The past year has shown that knowledge isn’t the issue; it’s white supremacy. People don’t want to believe that any of this is that bad. People want to believe that oppression is justified, that if people just followed the law they’d be fine. They don’t want to question themselves. And marginalized people are tired of these narratives where, suddenly, people snap out of it. Because there was so much evidence to show it was bad, but it was only when you do one of the worst crimes imaginable that you realize this is bad? It’s only when it becomes personal that things are worth looking at critically?

No. And you need to examine where you are in processing your own complicity before writing a story where you’ve swapped around the ethnicities to try and distance yourself from the problem, where in the end you made the target the oppressor.

~Mod Lesya

#police brutality #oppression #arab #saudi arabia #military #superhero #superheroes #asks #violence #propaganda

[al-longbottom]

Bill Weasley and His Relationships With His Family Members

These are headcanons I have about Bill Weasley and his relationship with each member of his family. This is entirely opinion and not at all canon. It also follows the headcanon of Neurodivergent Charlie and Autistic Percy.

~~

Bill and Molly

Bill always felt that Molly expected something different from him than he was willing to be and while he always wished they could be closer than they were he knew that it wasn’t his fault she couldn’t accept him for who he was.

When he was older he tried to maintain a happy relationship with his mother while keeping her at arm’s length, not wanting her to try and meddle in his life or try and persuade him to become what she wants for him and not what he wants to be.

Bill and Arthur

When Bill was born Molly had to leave her job to take care of him, since they couldn’t afford a babysitter 5 days out of the week. This made Arthur the only source of income, and they had another mouth to feed now, so Arthur took a lot of overtime. This, unfortunately, meant he wasn’t home much when Bill was young and therefore didn’t get much of an opportunity to connect with Bill, especially when Charlie and then Percy came along, meaning Arthur had to work harder and longer to support his family.

Bill doesn’t hold it against his father, but there’s a slight amount of bitterness when he thinks about his childhood where he wishes he had more than just his mother’s influence, or when he thinks about what could have been of Arthur and Bill’s relationship had they been better off, richer than they were or given more time to allow their relationship to grow.

Bill and Charlie

Bill and Charlie bonded over their rejection of their mother’s ideas for who they should be and formed an extremely tight bond. The two were nearly inseparable when younger, always going off on ‘adventures’ in the fields surrounding the Burrow, rescuing dragons and fighting off bad guys, pretending sticks off the grounds were wands and large rocks were dark wizards and dragon poachers.

Bill and Percy

Bill and Percy are possibly as opposite as two siblings can get. Where Bill is adventurous Percy is a homebody, where Bill is a thrill-seeker Percy is careful, where Bill is fun-loving Percy is serious. Percy is infinitely aggravated by Bill’s carelessness and Bill just can’t stop himself from teasing his little brother till he’s red in the face.

Bill and Fred

Bill loves Fred’s jokes and fun-loving personality, and oftentimes had a secret hand, even if it’s just a distraction or providing the supplies, in their pranks around the burrow while he still lived there which made the three of them very close.

He shows up for the grand opening and is even their first buyer, purchasing a Pygmy Puff as a gift for Fleur.

Bill and George

Bill, as I said before, loves the Twin’s pranks and oftentimes would take part in them while he still lived at the Burrow, but out of the two twins, Bill feels sort of more… protective of George. He sees how Molly treats him, trying to meld him into her image like she tried to with Bill and every time he hears Molly try to guilt him into ‘behaving’ he quickly changes the subject or makes up something he and George have to do in the other room.

Bill and Ron

He sees his brother’s desire to get approval from his mother and while he doesn’t get as much time with Ron as his other brothers when he does see him he tries to let Ron know he has value even if he doesn’t fit their mother’s image, talking to him about things like quidditch, challenging him to games of chess, and bringing him back a signature dessert from any place he visits.

Bill and Ginny

Ginny was born when Bill was 10, far too old to be hanging around with younger sisters… or so he told his friends. Within the first year she was born Bill was enraptured, a little sister! But then he was at Hogwarts and only saw her on vacations and she barely remembered him by the time she was old enough to form a true bond, and unfortunately they didn’t get close until after the second war against Voldemort when Ginny would come over to have dinner with him and Fleur.

#molly weasley #arthur weasley #bill weasley #william weasley #percy weasley #george weasley #fred weasley #the weasleys #weasley twins #ron weasley #ginny wealsey #harry potter #hp #harry potter headcanon #harry potter imagine #charlie weasley #ronald bilius weasley

[yinses]

relationship headcanons

gojo satoru x instructor!reader

rating: t

a/n: we all obsess over gojo, now it’s time for him to simp over you

— you’re a teacher over at the sister school and have been rivals with gojo since before your own graduation. you’ve come close but have never bested him, so you’ve put all your frustration into raising the next generation of sorcerers to be stronger than his class ( and ofc to take out curses)

it’s all seriousness for you but fun and games for gojo. not everyone simps for him, believe it or not. the man is challenged on the daily but it’s less of an annoyance when it’s you. maybe because you don’t call him out for it. there is no boisterous demand for a showdown or obsessive rivalry. you bide your time and out your efforts into your students where it matters the most.

he can tell you want to make a bigger point. that the entire jujusu kaisen institution doesn’t need to rely on him to solve their problems. you truly believe that you can bring stronger comrades to the table. the goal of besting him was just a side objective

— you’re attractive. he’s attractive. there is no denying it. maybe under different circumstances he might have already taken you to bed by now but the chase is more thrilling. he’s known you for over a decade now but he doesn’t know the intimacies of your past. it’s a gamble how many people you’ve dated or what your experiences are like, but he does know he definitely has a chance.

the sexual tension is always there. more prominent for gojo because honestly he finds you determination so fucking sexy. the man is dominant but to be pinned down by your thighs ascends him. he has your number and is never not in your inbox. you rarely respond but he knows you read them, especially since he squeezes little updates about his class progress in between romantic poem quotes and blasts from the past.

you never answer his facetime calls but occasionally you’ll indulge a regular call, if only to voice appease him enough to stop him from filling your voicemail box. as you’re preparing dinner in your kitchen, he’s going on and on about little things that shouldn’t matter. but he doesn’t really have anyone else and it shows.

the man is an open book. confessing sprinkles of his frustrations around jesting stories about his cute little students and the bakery he now coined his favorite just two kilometers from his house.

sometimes he reminisces about school. about how visiting the sister school to see you was his favorite part of the semester. but he also delves into his own small class and how he misses the shenanigans the use to raise yaga’s blood pressure frequently. sure shoko is still here but geto- fuck, the guilt cracks in his voice. you don’t say anything still, what could you anyway to a man you shouldn’t adore baring his soul to you? but before a decision can come to head he’s swapped back to his usual self.

‘so that bakery has this delicious tiramisu. why don’t you let me eat it off of you one of these days? i love dessert in bed.’

across the city, gojo smiles so hard his cheeks sting when you hang up on him, shoulders more at ease than they’ve been in days.

— he never shows up for his meetings with yaga, god forbid there be a special invite from the croaking old bastard. but fuck- if you’re there? the man is on time just so he can secure a seat next to you.

you know this guy manspreads. thighs wide enough to align them with yours. you’re not jumpy, reading easily between the lines as you give him a curt glance from the corner of your eye. it’s a useless scold, because you only recieve a cocky grin.

god and does it egg him on. this man feeds on crumbs of your attention. his arm lounging comfortably along the back of the couch, fingertips dancing along the edge of your shoulder and tickling the collar of your neck.

it’s the fact that you’re consensual to it all that keeps him going. sure you bite back and huff with your cute little irritated pout- but you never say no. and that’s all the fuel he needs.

he can hear everyone just fine- like they’re sitting right there. but catch him leaning close, shoulders knocking together while he whispers in your ear. he’ll ask you to repeat things he definitely did not miss. ask you to explain things he obviously comprehends. you roll your eyes but coddle him anyway if only to cure your own boredom.

bonus: off to the side, miwa watches the two adults conspiring, foreheads just a breath away from tapping. she’s rooting for gojo if only for the benefit of seeing him around more. she’s been wanting to ask you to invite gojo-sensei to guest speak for months.

— fighting with you is basically foreplay. he’s never been so intimate with his infinity, absorbing every punch and jab. not enough to hurt terribly , but it’s physical contact from you and he won’t pass it up.

he’s supposed to be showing off for his students. itadori, his biggest fan, front and center as his own personal cheering squad. he can beat you but not demolish. you actually bring a challenge, which is why the two of you are often a treat at the exchange event.

gojo wants nothing more than to pin you down when the two of you grapple close for comfort. he knows he can get away with a nice hard grind or two, even thinks you’ll let him.

but his inner thoughts are his own downfall when you manage to get on top instead. not that he’s complaining. his infinity is strapped tight to his body, just barely keeping you at bay as you try to force your limbs to keep him in place.

this is bad. so bad because you’re leaning close- the hair from your sloppy bun whispering at his cheek. and your face is right there, near enough that he could flinch and you would be touching.

it’s entirely too intimate for a fight between instructors at a public event but damn he’s willing to let his guard down. besides what the fuck is he supposed to do when he can feel your mouth moving against the barrier.

‘is this how our first kiss is going to be? just you, me and the infinity?’

jesus fucking christ if you thought he was strong enough for that. it may as well be ‘pass go’ for gojo. because one second you’re held up by the invisible void and the next you’re tasting something sweet.

he’d just eaten a pack of chocolate covered cherries.

#gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru #jujutsu kaisen #gojo x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #gojo blessings #some queso.

[falcqns]

𝖆 𝖑𝖎𝖙𝖙𝖑𝖊 𝖈𝖆𝖑𝖒 𝖎𝖓 𝖜𝖆𝖐𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖆

☼ 𝔭𝔞𝔦𝔯𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰: daddy!Bucky Barnes x little!Reader

☼ 𝔰𝔲𝔪𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔶: you're little with Bucky on a calm Wakandan morning.

☼ 𝔴𝔞𝔯𝔫𝔨𝔫𝔤𝔰: fluff! ddlg relationship.

☼ 𝔞/𝔫: thank you for reading and i hope you enjoy!

he knew your headspace before you even opened your eyes that morning.

you were cuddled up to him, practically covering him and using his broad and warm serum filled body as a mattress. he laid there in the soft bed, admiring your features as one of goats bleated just outside of the hut, likely Steve, ever an impatient little guy.

he heard the pounding of children's feet, followed by a squawk from the chicken they were chasing. they never hurt the chicken, they just liked seeing their little feet pitter patter against the Wakandan soil, and Bucky was more than okay with it, thankful for the noise.

off in the distance, he could hear the city rumbling to life, just as your eyes fluttered open. his vibranium thumb brushed against your cheek, and you gave him a happy smile. to say he wasn't apprehensive about you coming to live with him here would be a lie, but saying that he regretted having you here would be a lie as well. you made his days brighter, recovering and farming with only one arm as easy as could be.

Steve bleated again, and Bucky sighed, breathing in the clean air.

"you should feed him, dada." you whispered, and Bucky chuckled.

"good morning my little love. do you want to help me feed them?" he asked, sitting the two of you up. your body shifted to his lap, your arms coming to rest around his neck. you nodded, and Bucky lowered you to the ground. you toddled over, slightly unbalanced, to where your sandals were.

you were a summer girl. you hated the winter, the way the cold bit at your delicate skin, and dried it out like the Sahara. you much preferred summer, the sun beating down, the flowers blooming, and the pure calmness of it, especially here in Bucky's paradise.

Bucky's bare feet touched the cold floor of his hut that was made out of a clay-vibranium mixture, and he shivered slightly. he really needed to go into the market and buy a rug. you had slipped the sandals on, and had turned to your dress that lay over the chair that sat just beside the door. it was green, with yellow detailing made from the finest Wakandan silk, a gift to you from Shuri for helping Bucky.

you pulled the material over your head, and turned to Bucky, who was fastening the sling around the stump that, at one time, held a flesh arm, and most recently, a metal one. you often pondered if he missed it, but knew he didn't. he told you that he can pretend that Steve saved him after the fall when he doesn't have a prosthesis there, and it disbands all the bad memories, at least momentarily.

Bucky slipped his own shoes on, and the two of you headed out into the warm weather. Steve, ever your loyal guardian, was stuck to your side the second you passed the fabric door that separated you and Bucky from the rest of the world.

you followed Bucky over to the wooden shed that held the goat food, and he handed you a bucket filled only halfway. he didn't want the goats getting too fat, and he insisted more than once that if you have more feed in there than necessary, they will just guilt trip you like you did him whenever you wanted ice cream.

he headed over to feed the pigs, a much dirtier task. you weren't allowed to enter the pig pen. Bucky did all the dirty work. feeding the goats and helping with gardening was more than enough for you to manage.

you entered the goat pen using the slightly ajar gate, no doubt the work of Steve. within seconds, you were swarmed by the herd of goats, all named after people from Bucky's life. the brattiest one, who was pushing his way to the front, was named Tony respectively. the one to the left of Tony had slightly reddish fur, and he was affectionately named Wanda. the pure black bodied and white headed one directly next to her was Natasha. on the other side of Tony stood Wanda's baby, named Y/N. it was the first one Bucky had ever seen delivered, and he said he had only ever seen one thing that was more beautiful, you. standing next to Y/N was Peter, a rather skinny one who was awfully talkative. Bruce and Rhodey were behind him. Bruce's fleece was curly, much like Dr Banners natural hair, and Rhodey was born without it's hind legs, but Shuri being the gentle princess she was, replaced them with vibranium legs that worked the same.

these goats knew you, and waited patiently for you to give them their helping. once their belly's were full with the grain, you headed back to the shed, Steve trotting behind you. your hands were washed in the stream, before you joined Bucky to sit on the shore line. he helped you into his lap, and you relished in the warmth emanating from his skin, the air still quite nippy this early in the morning.

your eyes drifted over to the sun rays bouncing off the water as it rose in the sky, and you smiled. Bucky's arm came to rest around your body.

"thank you for being such an amazing helper." Bucky whispered, a breeze passing over the two of you. you smiled and looked up at him.

"i wike helpin' you, dada." you said. "you da best." you said, and Bucky placed a kiss on your still warm temple.

"no, you're the best. i got so lucky with you baby."

"we stay here forever, dada?" you asked, petting Steve's coat, his head on your lap.

"anything you want little one."

#james buchanan barnes x reader #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes fic #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes smut #mcu bucky barnes #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barns fanfiction #bucky #daddy!bucky x little!reader #daddy!bucky

[jar-of-ectoplasm]

Reverse Demon Slayer AU

a/n: a demon slayer au my friend and i were talking abt a bunch last week and i wanted to share it with you guys :))

like literally the au is just the demon slayers are the demons and the demons are the demon slayers it's prob been done before but still here it is besties (the hashiras turn into the 12 kizuki, the trainers are like the ex-kizuki members [like kyogai])

Genre/Warnings: Demon shit, body horror, just kinda creepy stuff cause the demons in Demon Slayer look busted most of the time, mentions of blood, gore, mentions of violence/death, religious stuff (gyomei)

~Giyuu Tomioka~

-Stays in the forest near a lake

-His voice echoes, kinda like how a siren's would. Since his voice is very calming and can go pretty far out, it lures a lot of people into his lake

-Blood Demon Art: Can create "reflections" of the demon slayers he's fighting out of the water in his lake. Every hit they land on Giyuu's version of them just goes straight through it since it's made of water but it's able to actually hurt the slayer (basically giyuu just makes little water minion to do his bidding)

-Would be very attached to the demon who turned him (which is Urokodaki) and would be absolutely livid if anyone managed to kill him

-After your encounter with an ex-kizuki member, you started hearing a strange voice echoing through the forest in front of you. Mistaking the man's calls as cries for help, you venture further into the forest not knowing you were walking into your death.

~Shinobu Kocho~

-Her eyes look just like a fly's, but instead of red they're purple

-Has pincers on the sides of her face

-Blood Demon Art: Can spit acid up to 5 feet (like an assassin bug) and if she manages to bite you, she can inject venom into your bloodstream with her freak ass bug tongue (like an ant)

~Sanemi Shinazugawa~

-The top half of his outfit would be tied around his waist (like how Susamaru had hers)

-The scars on his body would become mouths, and each mouth also has a voice so whenever Sanemi speaks it's like there are several voices speaking at the same time

-Blood Demon Art: Can literally take the their from a person's lungs and suffocate them. A demon slayer can't use their breathing technique if they can't breathe, right?

-Doesn't wash the blood off his clothes and he keeps the swords of the slayers he kills as trophies

~Tengen Uzui~

-Each dot on his face tattoo would become more eyes

-His three wives would change every so often because they're kidnapped female demon slayers

-Blood Demon Art: If he gets even the tiniest cut anywhere on his body, he'll be able to emit an incredibly high pitched sound to disorient his opponent

~Muichiro Tokito~

-Blood Demon Art: Creates a mist that, when inhaled, fogs the person's memory; making them forget what they were doing completely so he can easily attack them

-Honestly, he thinks killing the Hashiras Muzan sends after him is a chore, so he usually stays in the Infinite Fortress

-When he does go out though, he doesn't stay in one place for too long so he can avoid the demon slayers as much as possible. He doesn't want to waste energy on killing low level children

~Obanai Iguro~

-Pretty much a naga, the bottom half of his body is a serpent's tail

-Can unhinge his jaw to take some big ass fucking bites out of people

-His eyes can look in two different directions at the same time, making it hard for slayers to land a good hit on him

~Mitsuri Kanroji~

-Main territory is the red light district, she lures men into her little place and eats them

-Blood Demon Art: Similar to how Tamayo can force someone to tell the truth using her demon art, Mitsuri is able to attract people to her. No one wants to hurt the person they're attracted to, so it would make it easy for her to kill them.

-The prettiest demon Hashira by far, pretty much everyone else looks like some horrible grotesque creature

-She always tries to keep the clothes of the men she kills clean so she can give them to the girls in her house. Even if they are human, she still cares for them greatly

-Is the cleanest demon Hashira as well. She doesn't like making a mess of her room just to clean it up right after

-Mitsuri also likes to try different recipes with the men she eats. Having them raw just isn't as fun as cooking them herself

~Kyojuro Rengoku~

-Blood Demon Art: Similar to Esidisi from JJBA, he can make his blood boil. When the slayer manages to get a hit on him, his blood would splash on them and burn through anything it touched. The temperature of his blood is on par with lava

-Looks the most human out of pretty much all the demons, but something just seems very off about him

-When you're fighting him, he's stone faced until he gets bored of you. His smile just looks way too big for his face, and the amount of teeth in his mouth are far beyond what it should be

-Doesn't have eyelids so he literally never blinks

~Gyomei Himejima~

-Would be dressed as a traditional Buddhist priest/monk

-He kills demon slayers to "help them atone for their sins"

-Main method of killing would be using his rosary to choke them out, sometimes since he doesn't really know his own strength their heads pop off

-He cries blood instead of tears

-Blood Demon Art: Can make his blood as hard as diamond so the demon slayer would be unable to cut him on the first try, so he would be able to take advantage of their shock and kill them

~Tanjiro Kamado~

-Blood Demon Art: Just the same as Nezuko's, since they're siblings and all that

-He had come from a family of demon slayers, and after getting turned into one himself they all tried to kill him (except for Nezuko)

-Wears a muzzle only when Nezuko is around other demon slayers. They have to keep up a charade, but it's so hard to control himself sometimes and that's when the muzzle really helps

-His favorite part of the body is the heart. When he was human, everyone always saw him as kind and innocent but when he was turned he was seen as the complete opposite. He hopes that consuming the hearts of other people will return his old kind-hearted personality

~Nezuko Kamado~

-Nezuko followed in her parent's footsteps by joining the demon slayer corps, but instead of trying to find a cure for her brother she gets information and passes it to Tanjiro and the demon Hashiras.

-Nezuko ended up taking Tanjiro away from the bloody ruins of their home, and on their way down the mountain they ran into Giyuu who instructed them to go to Urokodaki so Tanjiro would be safe

-Has killed demon slayers who have seen her interacting with the demon Hashiras. She has to keep her record clean to climb the ranks and to help Tanjiro at the same time

~Zenitsu Agatsuma~

-Would lure people into a trap by guilt tripping them into being alone with him

-"Could you please help me? I lost my gramps, but I can't see him anywhere. Will you help me find him?" and then they'd get bodied

-Always avoids killing innocent people or new demon slayers. He feels so bad for taking their lives away from them, but sometimes he just can't help it

-He'll style the female demon slayers hair after he kills them so they can be just as pretty as they were in life when they get to Heaven

~Inosuke Hashibira~

-The boar mask would become his actual head

-Instead of duel wielding swords, they would be some big ass fangs that he swings around to impale demon slayers

-Inosuke fights dirty. He'll snap his jaws at you and laugh hysterically when he manages to take a chunk out of your arm

-Actively seeks out demon slayers to kill. He never kills regular people because they don't put up a good enough fight for him

-Eats every part of the body, including the bones

~Misc Characters~

-Kanae was a spider-esque demon and cocooned people in her webs to feed a young Shinobu and Kanao until she was killed

-Kanao was human-turned-demon by the sisters

-Urokodaki is an ex-kizuki member and all of his trainees are now the demons in the Final Selection

-the Fox Children, led by Urokodaki, are merciless to any wannabe slayer that comes into their forest looking to make it out alive. Most of the demon slayers that make it out are nearly dead or had ran straight through, not even trying to get a kill

-the Fox Children wear the masks because their faces are incredibly fox-like (think like, mid transition animorphs cover)

-Nobody knows what Urokodaki's face looks like, but based on his mask that's for the best

~General Stuff~

-In this au, the demons actually stick together and the demon slayers work alone which makes the Hashira Kizuki way fucking scarier than they already were

-And because these demons work together, they're all going to hold grudges against certain demon slayers

-When Kanae was killed, the demon Hashira went apeshit, especially Gyomei. Pairing his strength and horrible blinding rage at the fact his coven lost a very important member, every slayer he kills within the first year of Kanae's death die in horrible ways.

-Imagine following the directions your dove gave you to an old, overgrown sanctuary secluded in the mountains. The moonlight does little to illuminate your surroundings, but one thing you do see is the mangled body of your fellow demon slayer hanging from a tree. The only thing keeping them together is their spinal cord, and the impossibly large hand holding their head to a branch.

-The Hashiras are all extremely savage and violent, rarely ever sparing a human life. (sometimes Shinobu or Kanao might feel bad and spare a small child or elderly person, but other than that nobody is safe)

-Crows would service the demons, and doves would service the demon slayers. Everyone is always wary around crows because nobody knows whether that particular one belongs to a demon or not

#demon slayer #demon slayer headcanons #demon slayer au #demon slayer x reader #kny #kny headcanons #kny au #kny x reader #there are too many characters to tag them all #demon slayer hashiras #demon slayer main four #kny hashiras #kny main four #i might write for demon hashiras and demon main four who knows #i hope y'all liked these cause my friend and i had a lot of fun making this!!!

[tenthgrove]

Hello, I just saw that you opened your request. I'm the one who ended up writing a whole prompt! Imagine this for each member from La Squadra: they had an one-night stand with a random woman, she accidentally got pregnant and decided to have the baby without telling them. After a while, the woman got ill and passed away, but not without before sending her child with their father (let's imagine she has the direction of their hideout even if it's ooc, or she knew where they hang out). So, one day someone knocks the door and introduces themselves as the kid of one of the members/if it's too young, someone left them on the door with a explainatory note... How do you think each member would react by discovering that they have a child and they're supposed to take care of them from now? You can make each kid with different ages if you want, it would be funny to see Prosciutto or Ghiaccio dealing with a rebellious teenage son or Risotto trying to take care of a toddler, but I guess not all of them would want to keep their children. Sorry if it's a lot, haha.

La Squadra did a Diavolo

La Squadra x Reader, Platonic/Familial, SFW

A/N: your idea about mixing up the ages got me thinking, and I ended up using randomisers for the children’s ages (though I did consciously change some of them) and genders. It added a fun bit of chance to this prompt.

Formaggio, with an 8 year old daughter

The whole thing feels surreal to him. There's a little girl on his doorstep calling herself his daughter and by all evidence, it's true. He doesn't really know how to feel about it at first. On one hand it's kind of cool he had a kid all this time and you're clearly a lovely girl, but on the other hand, what the fuck? Still, not being the practical sort, his sense of sentiment far outweighs any question of how he's actually going to look after a child, so without much deliberation, Formaggio agrees to let you stay.

Formaggio isn't too experienced with kids but he doesn't exactly dislike them either, so he figures he knows what to do. At your age you can at least do the basics of looking after yourself, so he isn't too worried. The only problem is that if you ask him to cook for you or help clean your room, his eyes go very wide. He never quite picked up those skills himself, he's afraid, so you're going to have to ask someone else for that one.

The good news is that Formaggio is a very easy-going, fun sort of dad, who is a natural at playing with you and lets you do what you want when he can't be around. He quickly gets used to showing affection to you, letting you cuddle up to him on the sofa in front of the squad and even carrying you around once in a while. He gives amazing piggy back rides.

The bad news (or more good news, depending on how you are) is that you have to leave school. Risotto says that at your age you can't be trusted not to tell anyone your new family is a bunch of assassins, and taking you to and from school each day would be too much of a hassle. Nonetheless, you're welcome to continue your education from home, though Formaggio will hardly push you if you don't keep up with it. Melone is much better on that front.

Despite the risk, Formaggio can't bring himself to force you to lose all your friends, so he lets you keep meeting with them. Furthermore, he knows a few guys in other squads who have kids about your age, so he's happy to introduce you to them if you want a friend you can be more honest about your home life with. Formaggio might not have a clue what he's doing, but he's doing pretty good.

Illuso, with a 3 year old daughter

He's been fearing this day would come for years. A small child knocking on the door of the hideout, holding a note in hand addressed to him, just as a shady looking car drives away. Yeah, Illuso remembers your mother pretty well and he remembers the distinct lack of precautions they took during their encounter. Now, the consequences of his actions are here at his house, and Risotto is currently standing in the doorway of the office looking ready to give him the biggest dressing-down of his life.

After his tongue-lashing, Illuso frantically agrees to take responsibility for what he's done and see to it that you're well cared for, and begins the task of looking for relatives who might take you. Unfortunately, none of your mother's family can be traced, and Illuso can't exactly call up his own right now. Leaving you on the door of an orphanage isn't an option because you're old enough to say where you've come from, so it looks like for the time being, Illuso is stuck with you.

Initially, Illuso is not thrilled. He pawns you off on Melone, Sorbet and Gelato whenever possible and tries to live his life as before. But increasingly, he can't help finding himself visiting your room whenever he's stressed or has had a bad mission. There's something so pure about gently stroking your hair as you sleep. He can't help but feel... attachment, as he rubs his thumb against your tiny palm.

From then on, Illuso starts to make a point of spending more time with you. You're at the age where you just want to touch and explore everything you're given, so letting you make a mess with his makeup and beauty creams is an easy way for him to observe and learn about you. He even starts doing the more practical things like washing and feeding you every so often.

Eventually, Illuso becomes an actual father to you. He loves you as a father should and puts his time into making you happy. Illuso is glad he didn't give you away, as you've opened his eyes to so many things. For the first time in many years, he feels human. He feels redeemable.

Prosciutto, with a 13 year old son

As you tell him your story Prosciutto racks his brains. He didn't have many one-night-stands in his youth but the ones he did have were so far back he barely remembers them, so your mother's name doesn't immediately ring any bells. If it weren't for the striking resemblance between you, Prosciutto probably would have thrown you out for a liar there and then. But as you are, it's clear you're being honest. He lets you in.

After a short interrogation by Risotto to make certain you aren't acting on behalf of some third party looking to infiltrate the squad, it's agreed you can stay, so long as you keep quiet about it to your friends. At your age you can largely look after yourself and all you really needed was a roof over your head, so there's no problem with you moving into the spare room as long as you stay out of the others' way.

Education isn't much of an issue either, since you're likely well settled in your current school and can get yourself there and back. Just whatever you do, don't go telling anyone you live with a bunch of gangsters now. Prosciutto means it, you could seriously put yourself in danger if you do that.

Much to your father's ire, you end up befriending several members of the squad, especially the younger ones like Melone, Ghiaccio and Pesci who have some generational overlap with how you were raised. Prosciutto would rather you didn't do this but at the end of the day, he can't really stop you. God forbid you call him an old boomer again.

Your relationship is overall positive- Prosciutto makes a point of taking you on outings when he has the time, and giving you parental advice when you need it. However that doesn't stop you from making fun of his stuffy, old habits, and playing the moral high ground in regards to his work.

On that note, the problem comes when you develop an interest in the squad's work. It's only inevitable, given how pervasive the topic is in conversations around the house, and the fact you're more than old enough to know what a gang is, but the day you first ask him about it is no less welcome. What's scary is that you're about the same age as Passione's youngest recruits and, well, if you ended up joining them because of him, Prosciutto might never forgive himself.

Pesci, with a 6 month old son

He knew it had been a mistake. Not long after his 18th birthday he'd given in to the squad's pestering about his virginity and finally gotten rid of it just to shut them up. Now he's ridden with guilt. Not only did the poor woman get pregnant because of him but now she's died. He can't help but wonder, the letter attached to the basket you came in was very vague after all, was your mother's death at all related to your birth? If so, Pesci doesn't know how he'll forgive himself.

Pesci immediately panics and stumbles into his Fra's bedroom crying louder than you are. Prosciutto remains calm, advising him to first make sure this actually is his baby through Melone, in case this is somebody trying to trick him, and to then think through his options rationally. As far as Prosciutto sees it, he has two. He can either see to it that you're taken in by a caring, reliable individual, or he can keep you for himself. Surprisingly, Prosciutto's actually okay with the second one, since in his eyes duty to one's family is absolute.

Pesci stammers a bit and asks if he can wait a few days to make his mind up, which Prosciutto permits. But it isn't long at all until Pesci is far too attached to you to ever let you go, and it becomes clear you'll be staying for the long-run. Risotto is hardly happy about this but agrees with Prosciutto's sentiment of family, so he doesn't try to insist you be sent away.

Pesci is an incredibly loving father. He'll dash from the other side of the house at a moment's notice if he hears you crying. That said, being so young himself it's inevitable he requires some help with raising you. Sorbet and Gelato chip in quite regularly, as does Melone when Pesci is desperate enough to fall on using him. Prosciutto helps out too, being your uncle, and occasionally you've even had Risotto answer your cries.

La Squadra can only hope their situation improves somehow in the coming years, since Pesci has no idea how he's going to deal with an older child in a house full of assassins. At very least, being so young it's a long time before he has to worry about things like school. For now, what's important is that you are loved very dearly. Pesci has discovered a new protective streak in himself, something he discovers every time he looks in your eyes.

Melone, with a 4 year old son

When you arrived you were frightened and confused. You struggled to babble out the story you were told to tell as the strange men crowded around you in the front room of the house. Then, a bizarre looking man with purple hair pushed to the front of the crowd, insisting he knew what to do in a situation like this. He carried you somewhere quiet, and gently asked you to repeat your story again. You told him you were looking for your father, Melone.

Melone is elated. He's always wanted a child, but getting into a relationship stable enough to produce one has never been an option with the life he lives. Now the happy accident he never new he had has come home to him! Carrying you back to the living room, Melone introduces you as his son and announces to the team that he will be keeping you.

This is met with some protest. Not only are you of the age where you'll need constant supervision, but quite frankly, nobody trusts Melone to take care of a kid. Melone refutes their accusations harshly, making it absolutely clear he will not be giving you up without a fight. Finally, Risotto surrenders, on the terms that if he catches any signs of abuse or neglect, he will see to it personally that you are re-homed elsewhere.

Melone's parenting style is relatively laid-back. He believes parents should be a 'safe base' from which children should explore the world, coming back when they need advice but ultimately following their own whims within reason. He encourages you to play as you wish and does not stop you from bonding with the rest of the squad. Finding supervision for you while he's on missions proves to be a non-issue, since his stand's massive range means he can often do most of a mission's work at home.

When the time comes to educate you, Melone decides against the risks of enrolling you in school. He is an amazing teacher and can teach you everything you'd need in half the hours of a typical curriculum. Beyond the essentials of literacy and simple maths, Melone largely encourages you to follow you own interests rather than stick to some boring, arbitrary list of useless things a normal curriculum for some reason expects you to learn.

That said, he knows the importance of making friends, so he frequently takes you out to meet with neighbourhood children. All-in-all, the squad is surprised at his sensible parenting choices, and the happy child you are turning out to be.

Ghiaccio, with a 2 year old son

It's almost comedic the lengths Ghiaccio goes to to avoid the problem. As the others crowd around you in Melone's lap, Ghiaccio cowers in the corner insisting that you absolutely cannot be his. It's very obvious you are, of course. You look almost exactly like him, and have a cry to match. You've even inherited the same, mild visual impairments that earned him his glasses. There's no getting away from the truth.

After accepting the truth, Ghiaccio takes you away to his room to 'clear his head' before deciding where to send you in the morning, but when morning comes, that deliberation time quickly turns into a few more days, then a month, then never. It's clear Ghiaccio's become attached to you, and he cannot bring himself to give you away.

Unfortunately, he doesn't have the foggiest clue in hell how to look after a toddler. He has a hard enough time understanding what it is adults want from him, let alone small children. There are times he even considers giving you away again, but they never last long enough for him to go through with it. Bit by bit, he slowly learns how to be a father.

Melone is his primary co-parent. As cautious as Ghiaccio is about letting him around his baby, it soon becomes clear Melone can understand your needs far better than he can. The pair have many sessions together teaching Ghiaccio how to do things like wash you or cook your food. It's honestly a massive help, and probably the main reason Ghiaccio doesn't completely melt down within a month of having you.

These issues aside, Ghiaccio is a person who is very genuine in his affections. He would break the shins of anyone who even looked at you threateningly, and every fibre of his being wants you to be happy. He even learns to control his temper, as he knows from experience just how damaging an angry parent can be for a child. He's going to give you a better childhood than what his parents gave him, and that's a promise.

Risotto, with a 6 year old daughter

Well, perhaps this ought to have been expected. In his early 20s Risotto was really far less careful than he ought to be in regards to his encounters, so he probably had this coming. You are at a difficult age, old enough to understand your father is a criminal but young enough to still need his care. If he takes you in, there will be many challenges. And yet he cannot bring himself to turn you away. Looking at you he feels... obligation.

In the early days he tries his best to shelter you. He keeps you in his room and tells the others not to talk to you. But that's no way for you to live, and he knows it. Eventually, he swallows his fears and lets you explore your new home, even taking you out to the park a few minutes each day so you can run around. He talks to Melone about continuing your education, and asks Sorbet and Gelato if they'd let the spare room next to them be turned into a bedroom for you. He's going to make sure he raises you right.

Risotto may be quiet and introverted, but do not mistake that for emotionally distant. He does not underestimate his vital role in your emotional well-being, and is quick to pick up on when you are feeling sad or lonely. He makes sure to pick you up in his arms and ask what's wrong when that happens.

Though he didn't know her well, he mourns your mother with you, and is very watchful for the signs of attachment issues that may result from losing a parent at such a tender age. Being all you have left, Risotto gains a new instinct of self-preservation. For the first time in years, his life has meaning.

In terms of bonding, he prefers calm activities that allow him to passively observe your interests, such as watching movies or reading you books. When he's working in his office and doesn't need his camera on, he's happy for you to sit in his lap as long as you're quiet. He would ask if you don't read what's on his screen, though, at least not while you're so young. He'll give you a better explanation of what he's doing some day, but not just yet.

Sorbet and Gelato, with a 12 year old daughter

First of all, let's make clear that regardless of which one is biologically your father, they both feel equal responsibility for you. No doubt they were both present for your conception anyway, so as far as they're concerned, if one of them has a secret kid from a hookup, they both have a secret kid from a hookup.

Having always wanted children, they are happy when you appear on the doorstep and introduce yourself as their daughter. Though they don't say it out loud to avoid upsetting you, they kind of wish your mum had kicked it sooner so they could have raised you from a younger age, but they're more than happy to make do with what they've got. There's no hesitation in welcoming you to live with them permanently, and anyone who has a problem with this isn't brave enough to say it.

Right from the get-go they are very permitting parents, awarding you a generous helping of their cash each week and having a rule list that pretty much starts and ends with "don't talk to the police." Despite your age they don't expect you to be independent, and are happy to cook for you and help you out with other things when you ask. It seems parenthood was made for them.

Despite all this, there is one problem in your relationship that is making things difficult. That of your fathers' work. You're 12 years old and you aren't stupid. You know they kill for a living and you know they enjoy it. When you stumble into the bathroom at 1am to find them covered in blood and laughing together, there's no making excuses. No matter how good they are with you, this is going to make you afraid of them.

Sorbet and Gelato are incredibly stringent in solving these early issues. After all these years they've finally got the family they wanted, and they aren't going to let it slip away from their own cruelty. They are honest with you about their occupation, since they want you to know you can trust them, and make absolutely clear it won't affect their care for you. You are welcome to ask questions and receive honest answers, but other than that Sorbet and Gelato will make a point of not accidentally causing you to witness something you shouldn't.

With them, you are welcome to continue your old life in terms of school and friends. They want to spend time with you, but they don't want to overtake your existence completely. When you are up for it, they are keen to take you on outings that interest you so you can spend time together as a family. They hope you know how happy you make them.

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