#episode four IS hard like its rough but like

[hazel2468]

Me and my wife, unable to sleep- Oh, let's watch Hazbin Hotel! Episode one was good!

Me and my wife at the end of episode four- Sobbing over horny murder demons cuz HOLY FUCK ANGEL BABY NO

#hazbin hotel #okay but actually this is good #i did like the pilot a LOT #but I am really really liking what the show is giving us #i love that we learn more about WHY Charlie wants to help sinners so much #i love love LOVE that we learned more about Husk #I love that we saw all of that about Alastor #I am SO CURIOUS about what happened seven years ago because THAT number got brought up twice #the fucking music is all good Poison is fucking #oh i love it #episode four IS hard like its rough but like #i don't think any of us were expecting anything else from Angel's story #and they did warn and bump up that age rating so like I knew what I was getting into #also HHHH ANGEL'S REAL NAME #and I think we also hear his real VOICE??? #none of the act he puts on just him and that broke my fucking HEART

[the--rebel--fae]

Hey Fae! Do you know about the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse? If not, basically they are biblical concept for rooted evil in humanity and first four of seven seals for the “end of the evil world” or whatever (conquest, war, famine, and death).

Anyways, to my request! I wanted to ask to see if you’d write a paring of a FourHorseman!reader with Vox from Hazbin Hotel (and any other characters from that show if you’d like to lol)

Thank you and Gl with ur other requests!

A/N This is probably gonna happen each time I post a request since I feel horrible for making all of y'all wait. So! Big sorrys for taking so long with this but tysm for your patience! Now! On to the main a/n: Oh my friend, you have triggered an idea that is genius! Ooh this reminds me of that one episode from Charmed.--if you know which one, you totally rock. I had so much fun with this! I hope you like it too! 😊

Pairing: Vox x Strife! Four Horsemen! Reader

TW: Just swears, but that's about it.

Word Count: 814

His Little Chaos Bringer

The brick wall felt like a cool and relaxing solace as you leaned against it. Your pencil scratching furiously away in your notebook. Today had a been quite the productive day.

Though, you could have done without Blitzø's hissy fit for nearly missing the portal entry back to hell. He was complaining how you nearly cost him big time as he took you back into your main domain of the pride ring.

“You're lucky you're so damn powerful and make our jobs easier, you twerp.” He grumbled at you as he practically shoved you out of the I.M.P. van.

An amused chuckle made it passed your lips as you closed your notebook with a satisfying snap. You couldn't help that you were on a roll today with causing so many humans strife. You were the epitome of it after all being one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. Your other three siblings were Lucifer knows where and you didn't really give a damn as long as they were keeping their stats up and making sure the plan stayed on track.

Your notebook was already bursting with your successes, an impressive list of names and ways you affect them filled its yellow time worn pages. And that was only today.

Looking around at stretch of land that was the V's part of Pentagram City you let out a tired sigh. You loved what you did, you really do. But after a long day of causing misery, all you wanted to do was collapse in a comfy chair and just relax as you listened to your boyfriend boast about his day.

The brief silence that filled the air in the little alleyway you were taking a break in was quickly broken by the sound of your ringtone: The Flight of the Valkyries–little on the nose but you were always a fan of the classics.

You glanced at the caller ID and grinned. “Well, ask and ye shall receive I guess.” Clicking answer, you couldn't keep the smile out of your voice. “It's like you just knew I needed to talk to you. Should I add telepathy to the list of your talents?”

A deep chuckle. “Well hello to you too Doll. Rough day I take it?”

You leaned your head back against the wall and felt the satisfying thump of cool brick against the back of your head. “Not hard, just very long. Apparently causing misery for a living can drain someone a lot.”

“Why don't you come back home to the tower and I'll see what I can do to help get some pep back in your step hmm?”

A smirk played at your lips. You definitely didn't miss the innuendo in that sentence. “Sounds perfect actually. I'll be there in five.”

A pleased hum could be heard on the other line. “Looking forward to it Doll. See you soon.”

“See you soon, Vox.” The call ended seconds after.

Pushing forward you felt your muscles stretch out in relief. A spark of excitement and contentment ran through you. Sometimes it paid to be the romantic partner of one of the strongest overlords and a tech genius like Vox. No matter how busy the two of you were, you were always able to make time for each other at the end of the day.

***

As the elevator door to Vox's penthouse suit swished open, a tired smile was brought to your lips at the sight before you. In front of the blue satin couch, on the table laid a beautiful–and frankly absolutely mouth watering dinner with two champagne flutes filled with wine.

“I take it you like the surprise?”

You let out a pleased hum and walk forward. "What do you think?" Wrapping your arms around Vox's neck, you lightly bumped your forehead against the top of his screen. An amused giggle passed your lips as you watch Vox's screen take on a light rosy hue around where his cheeks are supposed to be.

"Well, I'm glad you like it, my little chaos bringer." Vox gave you a soft peck on the lips. His kisses always left you with a tingling feeling--probably thanks to the fact that he is a literal tv, but you couldn't help but want more. Maybe at a later time, the night was still young after all.

"You know exactly how to make a gal feel special don't ya?"

Vox pulled away from your grasp and gave a wink. "Doll, you're special no matter what."

You couldn't help the snort that passed your lips. "Wow, cheesy much?"

Vox just waved you off. "What? I was just trying to be romantic!"

A fond smile pulls at your lips. You were probably one of the most powerful beings in Hell seeing who you were, but if this was the life you got to come back to everyday? It's all worth it.

A/N that was so much fun to write. I truly enjoyed this request! Feel free to request again! I hope you enjoyed it!

And if you guys want even more stories--like maybe your own personalized several-page long one-shots or even a multi-chap fic take a look at my Etsy Shop! I do commissions! I even have listings for Hazbin Hotel!

#the rebel fae #hazbin hotel x reader #requests #commissions open #hazbin hotel season 1 #vox x reader #hazbin vox #hazbin hotel vox #vox x you #hazbin hotel imagine #the four horsemen #blitzo #helluva boss #blitzø #helluva boss blitz #hazbin hotel x y/n #hazbin hotel x you #vox #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel drabble

[madychi]

List of Random ROTTMNT Headcanons/rando ideas!

Raph and Donnie Duo Pt.2

Donnie makes Raph a robo cat because he feels bad that despite his big brother loving small animals, they seem to hate him. Raph absolutely treasures it and uses it as a sort of emotional support “animal”. He named it Kitty.

Raph likes the texture of Donnie’s shell, and finds it calming to rub. If Donnie finds that Raph is stressed he will sigh in resignation and flop over onto his lap so he may pet his shell.

As a turtle tot Raph had a hard time learning to speak, so Donnie would communicate with him using turtle noises. As they got older they stopped because Raph learned to speak. However they do occasionally slip into to turtle noises. Yes their brothers and father find it adorable. Yes Mikey has a blackmail cute video of them doing it.

Turtle tot Donnie once pancaked on Splinter’s chair while he was out on a supply run. Raph freaked out when he found him and tried to remove him. Donnie proceeded to bite down on Raphs hand and did not let go. Raph didn’t really feel much pain, his skin was thick and tough. But then Donnie straight up tried to eat him, geting Raphs arm up to his elbow into his mouth. Splinter returned to find Raph screaming while a sleepy Donnie was “consuming him”. Raph learned to never disturb a pancaking Donnie.

After the events of the movie, Donnie suffered slight brain damage from being ripped from the ships controls. As a result he has nerve damage to his shell and hands, and starts experiencing seizures. He tried to hide it. But one day after a rough day of Kraang clean up Raph went into Donnie’s lab and found him seizing on the floor. Donnie ended up explaining to Raph everything after almost scaring Raph out of his shell with his little seizure episode. Raph insisted he make something that would alert Raph if he was ever having another seizure. Donnie agreed.

In turn, Raph would confess to Donnie that he’s been hiding things about his Kraang experience too. He was now partially blind in his right eye and and had lost the ability to taste things. Donnie was able to make Raph a special contact lens for his partially blind eye. It not only allowed him to see, but it also had a x-ray vision mode, a heat vision mode, and a zoom and enhance feature. Because why should Raphael just see when he could ✨see✨.

Sometimes when Donnie swears he can feel the Kraang tendrils creeping over him he’ll steal one of Raph’s hoodies. It’s huge on him, but its soft, warm, safe, and smells of protective Raph smell. After a week Donnie gives it to him to wear until it smells like him again, then Donnie yanks it away and puts it back on.

Donnie’s first gift to Raph was the results from a dna test he conducted that showed that all four of the turtles were biological brothers. Raph has the results framed in his room.

Both bros are the big carnivores of the group, so while they love pizza, they will go absolutely feral over a nice medium rare steak.

Donnie is fluent in almost every single language, but his main languages are English, Japanese, and ASL. Raph also knows ASL, having had taught himself so he could communicate with Don when he was too stressed to verbalize.

Once in an act of defiance, Donnie hide under the fridge and refused to come out. He wasn’t expecting Raph to reach under there, firmly grasp him by the neck, and drag him out screeching.

Once, after a really bad nightmare about the Kraang invasion that was followed up with a violent seizure and a panic attack Donnie ran to Raphs room and woke him up. Raph let him into his bed and Donnie shifted to be as close to him as possible. Raph hugged him tight, knowing that pressure helped Donnie during times like this. They didn’t really sleep that night. Just stared into the dark or at each other. The next morning when they were discovered unconscious, Raph’s body engulfing Donnie’s fetal positioned body like a protective shield from the world, no one had the heart to wake them.

Pt. 1: Here Pt. 3: -Coming Soon-

#rottmnt donatello #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt raph #rottmnt headcanons #rise donatello #rise raph #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the tmnt #rottmnt #rottmnt turtle tots #turtle tots #rise headcanons #tmnt headcanons

[humansbgone]

The second scene is now done in its entirety! Models, animation, painting--all done with that!

Additionally, the basic character and background placement and camera angles are in place for the third and fourth scenes! I also did a little basic posing for Sophodra in the third scene. The background assets were already made, so this wasn't too hard.

Using the new 2D-3D combination workflow, Sophodra will be getting a new face drawn over this one. In the meantime, she's just kind of staring vacantly. A little worried about how obvious the polygons are with the combination of the new rig and the less subdivided mesh...ah, but it's worth it to keep performance while simultaneously allowing me to dynamically deform the mesh! I think the roughness adds a little personality, too.

Over the rest of the week I'll aim to get the last remaining prop models done, which should be simple enough! Then, next week will be making the last remaining character model (yes, I *did* put it off until the last minute--sometimes I need to break up the tedium of staging with something more challenging). Hopefully, I'll have enough time left over to set up the final scene, since there's not a lot to do for it.

Finally, a month (or, most likely, more) of animation! Then, sound effects, and all of Gregorsa's stuff. Afraid it might be closer to five months' production time total than four, in the end. Ah well, not really surprising. Given just how many new things I've been trying out with this episode, plus how long it is, that's actually pretty good! Thank you all for being patient with me, and letting me be patient with myself. Until next time!

#bugblr #artists on tumblr #insect #bug #bugs #insects #praying mantis #mantis #animation #science fiction #sci-fi #sophodra #model #update

[kerubimcrepin]

Talking about movie-related events. [PART 2]

This post is entirely about the animation contest Ankama held. You can view all the entries on the channel above, because I won't be reviewing ALL of them here, just my four favourites:

1. DOFUS FILM - AXEL L – Dofus, Contes de Nowel

This one goes first because 1. Simone is in it, and 2. Joris and Simone's real actors took part in its creation! :D

My rough translation of the video goes as follows:

Fun fact: did you know that Simone and Lilotte are voiced by the same person? Their actress is Claire Baradat. She also voices Elaine in Wakfu.

2 - DOFUS FILM - MILENA M – Premiers Flocons

This is a very cute animation and um uh [CAR CRASH] [GLASS SHATTERING] ‘GOOD LORD!’ [GENERAL COMMOTION] [BABY CRYING] ‘WAAAAH WAAAAH’ [YELLING] [POLICE SIRENS] WEEWOO WEEWOO [HELICOPTERS] ‘WE’RE REPORTING LIVE-‘ [EXPLOSION] ‘MY LEG… MY LEG…’

Whjat i mean is that I liked it a lot.

3. DOFUS FILM - BORIS BRENOT – Chachasse-neige

This is a little thing, but it's so, so stylish. Very good.

4. DOFUS FILM - ABEL C.C - L´Arrivée de l’Hiver

What I really like about this animation is that it is a lot like an episode of Aux Tresors. Very stylish, and very well animated.

Please watch the other videos on the channel, don't just stop at my favourite four ones!

The people who took part in this competition back in the day worked really hard on this.

#dofusexploration #ro liveblogs dofus #dofus #wakfu #krosmoz #Youtube

[fangirlblogger]

Fangirl Analysis Four: Bill Skarsgard's forehead wrinkles.

Girlies, the concept of this analysis is something that has been on mind since I've started evolving into a woman. I have developed this attraction of men's forehead wrinkles since last year and it's not because of my daddy issues (that's another conversation for another time), it's because of aging unfortunately. But I'm glad I'm aging because then I would not be here analyzing this beautiful and masterful craft on Daddy Bill Skarsgard's forehead. The man's got a heavenly forehead and girrrl, the things I want to do to that forehead are endless. With that being said, let's get into the analysis.

Listen girlies, if Bill looked at me the way he did in this image, I would instantly melt, evaporate and vanish. Girl, I don't know whether I want him to look at me that way forever or eat me and look at me like that till I pass out. I'm swooning over this look right now and the thing that makes this image more desirable and religiously worthy to be worshiped is his forehead wrinkles.

This image is from the Clark TV mini series and Bill played Clark Olofsson - a Swedish criminal in the 70s that prompted society to coined the term Stockholm Syndrome based on his relationships with his hostages or victims. Spoiler for those who did not watch the mini series yet, that's basically what the series is about. If you're a Bill Skarsgard fangirl like myself who has not watched this mini series yet, GIRL YOU HAVE TO (it's on Netflix if you're wondering). You will enjoy and devour every moment of it. Every sound of his voice, all of his body movements, all his angry, lustful, joyful, sad and confused glances and looks, his thick and rough Swedish accent, his manipulative smiles, his boisterous laughter and most importantly the way he devoured that oyster in Episode one, good Lord I came so hard, I almost thought I was giving birth to Bill's kid.

Now girlies, I am aware that there a numerous images of Bill displaying his godly forehead wrinkles. Some of them are so good, I don't know if it's my pussy that's wetter or it's my mouth.

Case study question: Why did I specifically select this image?

It's a no brainer really, my pussy gets wet instantly and I know this is the real deal, the masterpiece, my Salvatore Mundi.

Let's take a look at his hair. His hair looks so effortlessly perfect. The way the strand of hair draws down his forehead, just above his eye-brow is so immaculate. You can tell that he puts so much effort into taking care of his hair because of how effortlessly perfect it looks.

Now onto his jawline, cheeks and chin. He has the most flawless cheeks ever. When he doesn't smile, they lay back so perfectly and that brings out his perfect jawline, making it sharp enough to crack me open like a coconut. But when he does smile, they rise up so well and display his impeccable double chin. His chin is so well shaped that it smoothly keeps his immaculate facial structures intact and glorious.

His lips, they are a world of its own. I wouldn't mind being his lips, getting moistened and licked by his tongue every day. I will not delve into this anymore further because there will be an analysis on his lips soon. So I'll save all the goodness for later.

Let's look at his eyes. His eyes have the most unerring eye bags under them and in this image you can clearly see how perfect they are. We all know Bill has the world's most soulful eyes, so big and doe, they just make you want to cry in a sexual way. By the look in his eyes, and the lines on his face from his eyes to his forward, it clearly indicate that he is concerned but not in a good way. He is concerned about how he is going to manipulate his girlfriend. Also, you can see a little bit of impatience on his face in this image. If you watch the Clark film, you'll understand what I mean.

Now, finally to his wrinkles. They are so important in this image especially in this episode of the Clark mini series. Significance of it to this image is that it makes Bill look real. I've stated this before and I am saying it again, nothing is more attractive than a man with a natural face. His forehead wrinkles indicates to us that he is aging and that is the most beautiful thing in the world. Girl, his forehead wrinkles can wrinkle me up all the way to heaven.

The significance of this look in the image to the Clark mini series is that he perfectly displayed the look of a manipulative man. As already stated, his facial expressions displayed impatience, concern and irritability. My guy just came to see the girl and manipulate her to still love him. He did not come to see her and listen to what she has to say. And, Bill perfectly executes that in that scene.

Moreover, this image showed him in his natural state, meaning if he was not acting, this is what he would like on a daily basis, and that is super-hot! He looks scruffy, organic and humanly.

To conclude, wrinkles are beautiful and when they're on Bill Skarsgard's forehead, I go feral and insane. Those wrinkles makes him even more attractive. The Starry Night by Van Gogh might have you tripping but Bill's forehead wrinkles will have your pussy singing. So to the men that thinks women are rizzed by their overly masculine features, we're not. We like our men simple and comfortable like Bill Skarsgard.

Also, I would like to clarify that if you read this analysis as a body-shaming post, it is entirely the opposite. I love Bill Skarsgard and I find every bit of his body attractive, alluring and godly. I am aware of the social obsession with ageism but I actually prefer my man a bit older with a bit of grey hair, wrinkles, and 10 times more trauma from life than me.

#fanfics #girlblogging #bill skarsgård #fan thoughts #roman godfrey #hemlock grove #fandom #fangirl #bill skarsgard #clark netflix #clark olofsson #bill skarsgard double chin #bill skarsgard imagine #bill skarsgard fanfiction #bill skarsgård smut #bill skarsgard smut #bill skarsgard x reader

[warsamongthestars]

I'm working on the full set, because I want to do this step by step. So any analysis here is just a small cut of stuff I'm working on in the background.

But there comes a certain point in a user's life where they're so overcome with unbelievable simmering rage, that they have to post upon the internet about it. Because that is what you do, when you are overcome with simmering rage, and a laptop has decided to nest nearby, on its natural habitat--a desk, and it hasn't flapped south for the winter yet.

The biggest failing of the TBBshow, but the greatest strength in TCWshow, when it comes to the Bad Batch, is the Character dynamics.

Its how the characters interact. How they balance, contrast and parallel; both visually, aesthetically, ability-wise, personality wise, and relationship wise.

For example; visually--you've got Tech's professional slicked back hair and sciencey get up, to Hunter's rough and wild and unkempt everything.

Personality example--Crosshair's pride and surety in all things and unshakeable quiet confidence, next to Wrecker's excitability, anxiety, and wears-his-heart-on-his-pauldron.

Aesthetically? Tech's rather unique and fanciful armor (its bright white, its not vacuum capable thanks to where his goggles are at) to Crosshair's more severe, job specific armor (His helmet does not have red paint to avoid catching attention to it as he's a sniper, has a rather painful rod on his shoulder for a mount).

And that's just contrasts.

The Bad Batch are unique in the clone army, because they have their own space that nobody messes with. The Havoc Marauder. And its both their base and their home.

They have their own unique armor, tailored to their strengths, and no other clone has that.

In a way, they're both the outcasts for not being standard clones, but also the Brats of the army for having things that other clones don't--and kinda rubbing it in people's faces.

( What, you think Crosshair was the only one? He's just the one that's loud about it, check the other's behavior. )

So you can imagine why my little coal-fire in my chest, is simmering slowly to a blaze, when I see things that say "Oh the BBs lost their ship and left behind their armor as a symbol for moving on--"

Folks, last I checked, I didn't need to blow up my childhood house and burn all my important things, to move on from childhood. Or from any stage in my life, for that matter.

I certainly didn't need to abandon all my favorite, still fitting, cloths. Especially if they were designed to emphasize my strengths.

Or perhaps, I see things like "But now they can choose what they want to be--"

I'm gonna give you a secret, they've already been doing that. Go back to TCWshow, they have been doing that since the beginning--literally nothing changed expect there's a kid, and an empire.

No.

What it was, was the total decimation of character dynamics.

Because The TCWshow's BB's greatest strength was their strength of character, and the foils and contrasts and interactions, between those four characters. That's what I saw in TCWshow, that's what I came to TBBshow to see.

I wanted to see more. I wanted to see how these characters would interact on their own, to a greater galaxy. Its basically just four dudes doing shenanigans, and that's not hard to write.

And in TBB episode 1, and for 2 years afterwards, they kept Crosshair removed and we never saw those dynamics again. They killed Tech, and then those dynamics were impossible to ever seen on screen again.

It spent 3 years, very much destroying something beautiful they had. I spent 2 years in painful hope, that they would get back those dynamics, and frankly I feel strung along. It isn't just Tech's not-revival, its All of The Show. It started with Crosshair, and it never Ended.

That, has been my biggest issue. There is no "Oh they can move on now"--They could've just up and abandoned the Republic at any time, y'know, they're a special operations unit with their own ship and their own abilities and their own armor, and they could've easily just taken off and done whatever they wanted.

And you can't tell me anyone would go after them, because nobody knew who the hell they were. Even in the cut-content from the Old TCWshow BB story, nobody still knew who they were expect Cody and maybe a small reputation.

If Gregor, a full on Commando, can just up and vanish as a dish washer for a while, so can the super special awesome squad.

There is no metaphor here, we were straight up robbed, and the heist started at episode 1.

#star wars #the clone wars #the bad batch #star wars hunter #star wars tech #star wars wrecker #star wars crosshair #analysis #criticism

[shihalyfie]

Digimon Survive’s character cast, their roles in the group, and Adventure parallels

This franchise loves to self-reference, so it’s very easy to say that a lot of things are based on Adventure, but in Survive’s case, it has been abundantly clear (to the point of having been officially stated in many interviews) the narrative and setup itself is meant to be a reimagining of Digimon Adventure, as in the 54-episode series that aired from March 1999-2000. As much as the franchise likes to use Adventure symbolism, or rough glosses of its isekai premise, you might be surprised at how few things actually have bothered to take a look at the entire series and structure to the little things, trying to figure out what made it tick, instead of just pulling its names and faces and terminology and calling it a day. Moreover, one of Survive’s core premises of “a Digimon partner is effectively a part of your own soul” is a premise that originates directly from Adventure; it’s just that this time, it’s much more explicit.

Adventure is famous for being a character narrative, to the point you can put a picture with nothing but the characters and people will consider it representative of the entire series. So if you want to go deeply into Adventure, you have to look at its characters, what their relationships were, and what roles they had. And Survive does, but with its own distinct cast of characters who are very similar in some ways...and very different in others.

As you might expect, this post spoils all four routes, so please be aware of this before reading further. (I also will be spoiling Adventure and 02, in case you haven’t seen those yet. Hey, you never know.)

Because I wasn’t able to go back through all four routes to take screenshots, the screenshots used in this post are from Anthony (Wrathful), Owl-Quest (Harmony), and BattleBunny (Moral and Truthful)’s playthroughs. Please go check them out if you want to see the game yourself!

Something very important before we begin

I think making comparisons and drawing parallels is very useful, but I have a personal policy that comparisons should only be drawn “as much as they are useful” and no more than that. There’s a difference between “thoughtfully inspecting comparisons and contrasts to analyze how things work” versus “forcing parallels so hard that you end up trying to smash a square peg into a round hole, completely losing sight of the reason you’re trying to make those comparisons in the first place”. I know it’s tempting to try and make as many parallels as you can, but there’s a point where trying to force it becomes actively detrimental to your analysis.

It is true that Survive was built from the ground up as a reimagining of Adventure of sorts, and even promoted and officially stated to be such. However, Adventure is Adventure, and Survive is Survive. Survive is a game meant to stand on its own even if you've never touched Digimon Adventure in your life; to act as if the narrative and characters are nothing more than variations on Adventure’s is, in my opinion, disrespecting Survive’s efforts to be its own story in the end. It is a game that pays tribute to and reimagines Adventure's concepts, so it can't (and shouldn’t) be disentangled completely from Adventure if you want to bring the most out of an analysis, but it’s also unfair to treat the game as if it’s just some kind of twisted, barely-modified parody of Adventure, because it’s not. It’s a game that draws heavily from its predecessors in bringing up concepts to think about while also firmly doing what it needs to do in order to be its own story.

Therefore, in making character comparisons and analyzing the characters in relevance to Adventure characters, my priority will be on making connections between “their roles and positions in the group” rather than trying to force comparisons for the sake of forcing them, or trying to claim that this character is just the Survive version of this Adventure character. In fact, in some cases, my goal is to convey that a Survive character may start off in the same rough position as their Adventure counterpart but go in a very different direction.

I also would like to reiterate that I very much disapprove of the idea of using Survive to be condescending about Adventure. Survive’s characters and plot do address territory that Adventure isn’t able to, but framing Survive with reductive things like “Adventure but darker/edgier” or “a deconstruction of Adventure” as if the game only exists to dunk on Adventure’s idealism or treat it like it’s implausible is incredibly disrespectful, not only to Adventure but also to Survive, which in fact very obviously holds its predecessor in high esteem. (I mean, it is very fun to refer to Survive as “Adventure except people die” as a joke, but the game really is more than just that.) I’m going to bring back this very well-worded tweet “a deconstruction is when I like something in a genre I disrespect”; I don’t have any patience for this kind of thing, so don’t bring it in here. I reiterate: the comparisons are going to be drawn for the sake of better analyzing what Survive is pulling from and referencing while also doing its own thing for its own story. No more, no less.

Takuma and Agumon

At this point it’s pretty much common knowledge that anyone with a name that starts with “ta-” and a pair of goggles is going to be taking Taichi’s role as protagonist, and Takuma having an Agumon only drives it in further, but if we’re actually going to talk about Taichi himself, things get a little more complicated because Taichi was actually quite unusual in many ways (I honestly would say that Taichi is a character a lot of people “know” but don’t tend to easily “understand”). But right off the bat, Takuma turns out to have a very different temperament from Taichi’s, being significantly more introspective and less impulsive. In fact, he holds the distinction of being a rare Digimon protagonist who uses the polite first-person pronoun boku (most Digimon protagonists use the more assertive ore), and for frame of reference, the other major players who do this are Takato (Tamers), Haru (Appmon), and Keisuke (Hacker’s Memory), all three of whom are associated with some kind of meta element questioning whether they should be in the protagonist position...

(Personally, between Takato, Haru, and Keisuke, I’d say Takuma is probably closest to Haru in that he’s polite but also very thoughtful and introspective. He does happen to have self-doubts much more quickly than Haru would most of the time, but he’s not prone to Keisuke’s self-esteem issues or Takato’s tendency to shrink easily.)

Some of the nuances of Takuma’s personality and how selfish or selfless he is depend on the player’s choices and what route things are in, but for the most part the general core is consistent across all four routes. Takuma doesn’t start off thinking of himself as the group’s leader, and this part is consistent with Taichi as well; Taichi didn’t have particular awareness of himself as the group’s leader until Jou confronted him with the prospect in Adventure episode 28. However, in contrast to Taichi immediately taking initiative and pulling everyone forward even if he didn’t consciously see himself as the leader, Takuma started off still having strong awareness of seniors like Aoi and Shuuji, and it only slowly becomes apparent that he’s taking charge as more and more characters start pointing it out, culminating in multiple characters pretty much unanimously considering Takuma the group’s leader even before he’s considered it; Part 9 on the Truthful route has Shuuji outright admit to Ryo that he’s using Takuma as his model for how a leader should actually be.

So how does Takuma end up becoming unanimously considered the leader in a similar way to Taichi despite having such a different temperament? The characters spell it out in clear words multiple times over the course of the game: he brings the group together by being their emotional center. That part about being their “emotional center” is important because Taichi wasn’t necessarily as good at that part (which incites a lot of conflict between him and the others during the last arc of Adventure), but the reason this is more important for Takuma is that the Survive group is significantly more prone to infighting than the Adventure group was most of the time. When the game’s producer Habu called it the “Lord of the Flies” counterpart to Adventure’s “Two Years’ Vacation”, Adventure’s director Kakudou revealed that Lord of the Flies was an inspiration for the part of the story corresponding to Pinocchimon and Yamato...which resulted in Taichi failing to keep the group together and everyone falling apart. So in other words, Takuma is pulling off the achievement of keeping the group glued together when the equivalent of the Pinocchimon arc is happening all the time. There are no Crests in this narrative, meaning the automatic filtering for “naturally good kids” was absent and the kids were dragged into the Digimon world by sheer virtue of being in the wrong place at the wrong time, leading to a lot more negativity on all fronts and composures lost much more easily -- and thus, Takuma’s ability to keep a cool head and get everyone to calm down becomes his most important asset.

Also of note is Takuma’s own relationship with Agumon. While Agumon in this game is obviously based off Taichi’s Agumon in Adventure, Takuma and Agumon end up having quite a lot of conversations together where Takuma consults with him on how to sort out his emotions and what to do next, far more so than would happen in the original Adventure. Part of this is simply because of the medium shift (being a video game, Survive is able to have much longer conversations that aren’t restricted by timeslot airtime), and it’s also not like Agumon in Adventure wasn’t also emotionally insightful when Taichi needed advice, but Takuma and his Agumon partner end up having several conversations on the vein of Adventure!Agumon’s discussions with BlackWarGreymon in 02 episodes 32 and 46. In the end, the main reason is probably just that Takuma is just that kind of introspective person who actively seeks out Agumon and talks to him honestly, allowing them to get borderline philosophical without any strings attached.

Minoru and Falcomon

The mere suggestion that Minoru is supposed to be Koushirou’s counterpart would probably make someone roll their eyes and go “oh, come on, now you’re really forcing it,” and I wouldn’t blame anyone for thinking so. Temperament-wise, Minoru couldn’t be any more different from Koushirou. Rather than anyone in the Adventure group, he comes off as a kind of mix of Daisuke (in terms of being rough but friendly and having a forward-thinking attitude) and Miyako (in terms of being a “mood maker” who tries to keep everyone’s spirits up but needs to be reined in by a more stoic partner). But trust me, hear me out, I know this sounds weird, but I’ve got more reason for this stance than you might think!

Actually, Koushirou had a pretty complex role in Adventure, to the point he seems to have two counterparts in Survive. The more well-publicized parts of Koushirou’s profile involve his intellectual curiosity (bringing him closest to the secrets behind the Digital World) and his sense of deference and politeness, and those traits correspond more to the Professor (more on that when we get to his section). However, the less well-publicized but no less important part is that Koushirou was, for all intents and purposes, Taichi’s right-hand man, and thus one of the most important figures in helping Taichi pull off what he needed to as leader.

Koushirou was one of the few kids who knew Taichi prior to the events of the series and had already established a certain sense of respect for him (he only went to camp at all because of Taichi). As a result, while Koushirou tended to avoid confrontation with the others in the group, he was open to Taichi in a way he often wasn’t with others, and Taichi likewise was comfortable asking him for assistance (culminating in the famous moment in Adventure episode 28 when Taichi uses his authority as leader to appoint Koushirou as the best person to solve the card puzzle). Later, it’s Koushirou who sticks by Taichi when the group splits up during the Dark Masters arc, Koushirou who witnesses and hears out Taichi during one of his biggest emotional breakdowns in Adventure episode 48, and Koushirou who works directly alongside Taichi in Our War Game! Taichi’s relationships with Yamato or Sora tend to be more well-publicized, so casual fans of Adventure or mainstream media reports tend to completely gloss over this, but it’s conspicuous to anyone who knows Adventure on a particularly deep level. (While this analysis sticks purely to the original Adventure and 02 for the sake of consistent scope, it says something that even stage play writer Tani Kenichi clearly also caught onto this and had the lines "I've watched you at your side all these years! Isn't that right?!" and "But I thought you could at least speak honestly with me!" come out of Koushirou’s mouth.)

So as much as Minoru isn’t really much of a counterpart to Koushirou in terms of personality, he is in terms of Koushirou’s “position in the group”: the leader’s right-hand man who avoids inciting confrontation but is vital in helping keep them together. (In fact, the part about avoiding confrontation is pointed out quite directly in his official profile.) Considering how Takuma pulling off the feat of keeping everyone together required him to have a very different temperament from Taichi, it thus follows that Minoru’s temperament needs to be different from Koushirou’s in order to achieve the same effect with the Survive group. Koushirou’s more polite and level-headed demeanor was important to keeping the rather impulsive Taichi in check, but in this case, Takuma is already plenty level-headed by himself, and Minoru being more actively sociable and trying to keep everyone’s spirits up is a more effective complement. This is helped by the fact that, in the same way Koushirou knew Taichi from the soccer club even prior to Adventure, Minoru happens to have already been Takuma’s friend from school prior to Survive, and thus by the time we get to the final chapters of the game (especially in the Truthful route), it’s made quite clear that Minoru really is Takuma’s right-hand man whom he can rely on for many things. On top of that, Minoru being so agreeable makes him the only character of the group besides Takuma to survive all four routes -- he sticks by Takuma no matter what.

Background-wise, Minoru’s is quite different from Koushirou’s in that he’s mostly used to being rather lonely at home due to a divorced father and a workaholic mother, and he also happens to be a fan of hero manga and tokusatsu to the point a lot of his personal ideal throughout the game is to become a “hero”. (Perhaps fittingly, his temperament is probably the closest to the shounen protagonist archetype among this group.) This puts him in an interesting position in that he’s the most aware of what kind of heroic character would be from a series like Digimon Adventure and personally strives to be one, even though it takes him a while to gather up the courage for it. When you have affinity-affecting choices with him, he tends to prefer the “forward-thinking” kinds of responses that would make Daisuke proud, so he clearly took the kids’ media lessons to heart. In line with that, Minoru is the only character besides Takuma to survive all four routes; while his biggest emotional turmoil happens in all four routes (it takes up the majority of Part 6), he and Falcomon weather through it quite well. But when you think about it, back in the Adventure universe, the kids who admired the Adventure kids most were...well, the 02 kids, so perhaps it’s not actually that surprising Minoru’s temperament is closer to them.

Also, here’s another fun thing to consider: Minoru’s dynamic with Falcomon takes several pages from Miyako and Hawkmon’s book...so, remember who also happened to be Koushirou’s junior who admired him the most?

Aoi and Labramon

If you wrote a rough base outline of Sora and Aoi’s characters, they’d probably be pretty similar or even identical. You’d basically get something like “the Mom Friend who tries to take care of everyone and overwhelms herself in the process, crumbling under the pressure”. But there is one key distinction that makes all the difference: Sora’s desire to help others was something that came naturally to her despite her own lack of self-awareness, whereas Aoi’s woes come from the fact she’s all too aware of the fact everyone is relying on her and bears resentment about it.

One recurring thing with Sora was that her own self-evaluation was often much harsher than she actually deserved. Initially scoffing at the idea of being responsible for someone else (Adventure episode 4), despite being unable to abandon everyone and constantly going out of her way to help everyone behind the scenes (Adventure episodes 22-25), her own self-evaluation was still that she was apparently devoid of love and didn’t care about the others at all (Adventure episode 26). Her constant desire to help everyone was effectively compulsive, and she had poor awareness of whether she was getting in over her head, with others needing to remind her that she shouldn’t see things as an obligation (Adventure episode 51). Sora was barely even aware of how much she was putting out for others because she saw it as an impulsive obligation, and the others were the ones concerned about whether she was taking enough care of herself. Moreover, although Sora bottled up quite a bit of self-imposed pressure, she wasn’t exactly shy about expressing her feelings; it’s just that they often happened to be messy, and she wasn’t sure what to make of them.

(By the way, this is also why I really don’t like the idea that Adventure is somehow more “unrealistic” or even “idealized” than Survive’s just because they’re ostensibly more put-together and selfless people, because Adventure’s characters often toed on the other extreme of being selfless to self-destructive levels; the kids would be prone to severe self-confidence issues or even self-hatred, especially going into 02. While the Survive kids may seem overall self-centered at first and thus be more prone to infighting, any self-worth issues they have or attempts at reckless self-sacrifice don’t tend to be as frequent or extreme as they were with the Adventure and 02 kids.)

In contrast, Aoi is consciously aware of what’s on her plate, what she’s dealing with, and why she’s doing what she does. Sora was the same age as Taichi and Yamato, so she was able to be comfortable in a position as their peer, but Aoi is one year older than Takuma and therefore considered one of the seniors of the group, a fact that’s alluded to multiple times over the course of the game. This means the group ends up treating her with the expectation that she has responsibility for them (especially after Ryo and Shuuji die in the main routes, thus genuinely leaving her as the oldest one there), and on top of her class president duties, she’s surrounded by expectations and responsibilities that are actually imposed on her. On top of that, people actually take advantage of her kindness and exploit her, and she knows this fact very well and hates it. (While it’s possible this might have happened with Sora, it’s unlikely she would have even realized she was being taken advantage of, much less come to resent anyone who did, because the issue was more about her own difficulty with setting boundaries and doing something for herself.)

Aoi does what she does because “she wants to be helpful”, so she suppresses all of her angry feelings and resentment to not burden anyone; for the early parts of the game, Labramon openly voices all of the snark and harsh burns that Aoi clearly wants to say but won’t. This means that meeting Saki inspires a mix of admiration and envy for the fact Saki is able to express her feelings so openly. But in the Wrathful route, when everything goes to hell and Saki (somewhat) sacrifices herself for Aoi, Aoi implodes from the resentment of everyone burdening her with responsibilities, seeing their attempts to give her space as not caring enough about her, and upset that after all of her desire to be “helpful”, everything actually just got worse. The last straw is when Piemon exploits her kindness to attempt to murder her, and the end result is Aoi completely flipping into “the ultimate selfishness” (absorbing Labramon, as in her own ego) to decide that the best solution would be to impose her way -- the way she’d never been getting all of this time -- on others and force them to agree with her.

Thankfully, Aoi fares better in the other routes where she manages to trust and rely on others a little more, and her friends do much more to make sure she knows her efforts are appreciated. Notably, during her affinity choices, Aoi reacts very well to choices that validate her right to have “shallow” interests like cute things (instead of it being considered undignified and immature of her) and choices that have other characters outright call her a Mom Friend. I’m pointing this out because for all Sora is well-known among fans for being a Mom Friend, this wasn’t actually pointed out with this kind of wording in Adventure mainly because Sora wasn’t really seeing herself as one, but here Aoi does prefer to be seen this way, presumably because it affirms the fact her friends appreciate her as a person rather than someone to dump responsibilities on.

As an aside, the Wrathful route involves a subplot about Kaito being one of the first to catch onto what’s going on with Aoi and make the most prominent attempt at reaching out to her, and while I don’t know if this was intentionally meant as a parallel, it does call back to the scene in Adventure episode 26 when Taichi and Yamato are at a loss as to how to help Sora during her emotional meltdown, and Yamato’s response (to let her cry if she needs to) is indicated as the better option until Takeru finally manages to step in with the best response. In Aoi’s case, given that she ends up resenting everyone giving her space (interpreting it as “leaving her alone”), Kaito’s attempt to get through to her by confronting her directly about her feelings was probably the closest to a step in the right direction -- it’s just that unfortunately Kaito doesn’t exactly handle it delicately enough to prevent Aoi from having a complete breakdown.

Fortunately, as if responding directly to this predicament, the Moral route contains a scene of them getting along perfectly well when going out to get food together. This is significant if you played Wrathful and Harmony before then, because both routes had one or the other fall off the deep end; Moral has Shuuji and Ryo’s deaths force them to step up to the plate, but without the exacerbating factors that drove both to to the brink in Wrathful and Harmony, it turns out they’re more than capable of stepping up to the task.

Ryo and Kunemon

While it’s generally easy to figure out at least some obvious parallels for each character in this cast, sometimes even multiple, Ryo is the one character I’ve never seen anyone really be able to get a read on regarding this question. I’ve seen suggestions that it might be Akiyama Ryou (based on the name) or even Ken (based on having a bug-type partner that he initially had a bad relationship with). Personally, my stance is “nobody, and that’s the point” -- because you’ll notice that the one thing all of these theories have in common is that none of them correspond to anyone in the original group from Digimon Adventure.

I’m not sure if this really comes across as well to anyone who hasn’t actually played the game hands-on, but one very striking thing about Ryo over the course of the beginning of Survive is that the game oftentimes feels like it’s tempting you to give up on him. The characters label him as unlikely to be cooperative right off the bat, and while they extend the minimum amount of courtesy to him, it’s also tinted with a sentiment that nobody really expects him to come along because he’s so pessimistic he’ll never cooperate. Getting his affinity level up to a significant amount in the early game actually requires you to go out of your way to seek him out and talk to him at least once (during a period the game interface doesn’t inform you that he’s available to talk like it does the other characters). And Ryo really is an uncooperative stick in the mud who doesn't look like he has any interest in helping himself anyway. They spoiled the fact he was going to be the first death before the game even released!

In other words, Ryo has no clear Adventure counterpart because “he has no place here”. He’s not a character who fits in the framework of Adventure-defined archetypes. He wasn’t made to be on a heroic adventure to begin with, and so he’s the first to be removed from it. And yet, the difference his presence or absence makes results in him being arguably one of the most important characters in this game.

In fact, even in the very, very early stages on the game, there were hints that Ryo’s behavior of being completely uncooperative and pessimistic were largely exacerbated by the stress of being brought to another world with monsters; if you closely watch him at the beginning of the game, he’s the one who enables Miu into taking them to the shrine (which he reminds us about near the end of the Truthful route). His website short story reveals that he’d actively decided to go to the extracurricular camp despite his initial misgivings because he really did want at least a little hope of making friends. But being jaded from isolation does a number on your abrasiveness level (the Frontier kids can testify to that one), and then everything went to hell when all of his stress factors and feelings of isolation were aggravated to their worst.

Depression isn’t an elegant thing, unfortunately, and Ryo’s inner desire to do better being blocked off by his initial difficulty to connect with others is perfectly exemplified by Kunemon trying really hard to take care of Ryo and communicate with others but being held back by his inability to use human language or do much with his limited physique. Note that Ryo’s initial hostile behavior towards Kunemon isn’t necessarily condescension or anything near the level of Shuuji’s initial bad relationship with Lopmon; it’s just that Ryo is afraid of Kunemon and not sure what to make of him, in the same way he’s clearly not sure what to make of himself. (Naturally, the first thing Ryo does when he comes back from the brink is start forming a proper relationship wtih Kunemon, and Ryo himself opening up more in the Truthful route correlates with Kunemon’s higher forms becoming able to speak.)

Ryo’s death in the three main routes is from a mixture of factors that even the cast in-universe isn’t sure what to make of; he doesn’t actively commit suicide per se, but his death wouldn’t have happened if not for his extreme suicidal ideation, and while Takuma regrets not having reached out to him earlier, it’s also not like he can be blamed for not doing enough when it wasn’t for lack of trying (from Takuma’s perspective, it’s not like he had any way of knowing that Ryo would die if he didn’t bond with him intimately in 3 chapters, and Ryo himself wasn’t exactly giving much of an indication that such a feat would actually be possible). Looking at the difference between the routes where he dies and the route where he doesn’t, the difference is that when Ryo dies, his pessimism about anything working out for him and him having a “place” anywhere convinces him he really doesn’t have anything to live for anymore, whereas the route where he lives has Takuma and the others so obviously risking life and limb to drag him back that he’s actually able to see, very clearly, that he did have a “place” and the ability to make friends after all.

(By the way, I should point out that one thing Survive is very good at is that a lot of the “correct” affinity choices are ones where you don’t pry too deeply into their problems and instead respect the other person’s space. In Ryo’s case, getting his affinity up quickly enough to save him requires going out of your way to check on him often, but the actual choices that raise affinity mostly involve validating his feelings and not prodding things too much, basically showing that you care but also respecting that he’ll open up when he’s ready.)

Having realized this, Ryo opens up immediately; again, he was interested in proactively making friends from the get-go, so it’s only natural that as soon as he confirmed that was a possibility for him and his initial shell was broken through, he didn’t hesitate to brighten up and actively engage with the others. Turns out, he's actually one of the most emotionally insighful people in the cast (in no part because, as someone who's seen the bottom, he's well aware of its horrors), but he also has a certain sense of grounded, to-the-point pragmatism while also not being as extremely emotionally charged as Kaito. Completely contrary to the bad first impression he gave everyone (except Saki), it turns out he’s actually a pretty great friend to have. And once Ryo is saved, the route automatically locks onto Truthful, because it creates a chain reaction where he ends up being the best person to save Shuuji, who then paves the way for the truth to be reached and the best possible ending achieved.

Remember how I said that Ryo was the character who had no place in the Adventure framework? If Ryo dies in Part 3, the “best” possible ending you can theoretically get (Moral) is the one that correlates most closely to Digimon Adventure, with the kids being booted out of the Digimon world for the time being and an uncertain future of whether the worlds can truly come together. Reaching an even better one that more closely represents what came after Adventure and allows the story to be passed onto future generations (very unsubtly represented by the Chibimon meeting new kids at the end -- note the significance because none of the 02 quartet’s Digimon are recruitable in the game) requires Ryo, the added factor who helps the story proceed.

But really, the ultimate take-home the game is making here is that you shouldn’t give up on people that easily, because they just might surprise you.

Saki and Floramon

Saki’s creed being to “go with her feelings” makes it immediately obvious off the bat that she’s the Survive counterpart for Mimi, but interestingly, Saki is simultaneously more rude and more kind than Mimi was in Adventure. Mimi had a “princess-like” demeanor based on her somewhat spoiled upbringing, meaning that on one hand she would be quick to complain and gripe about anything that even moderately annoyed her, but she also was constantly deferential and respectful to her elders, had consistent use of honorifics, and was always polite and careful not to step on anyone’s toes as long as she wasn’t emotionally overwhelmed.

On the flip side, Saki handles everyone somewhat bluntly (not even using upward-facing honorifics for most characters despite being one of the youngest in the group) and has less regard for what other people think when she says what she feels -- but she’s quite the opposite of spoiled. In fact, Takuma realizes after a fashion that she comes off as someone who’s been through hardship in the past, and she’s actually one of the most resilient in the cast; eventually, we find out that any “sheltering” she’s been through comes from the fact she wasn’t allowed to do much in light of her illness, and her emphasis on feelings and living to the fullest comes from the fact she’s not sure whether she might die soon. Moreover, the illusory versions of Saki encountered over the course of the game reveal that she’s actually afraid of being hated by others, so there is a certain aspect of her that’s self-conscious about whether she’s going too far.

In the end, Saki respects others’ feelings, but also expects to have her own feelings respected in turn. Throughout her affinity events, Takuma learns that although she initially seems flighty and difficult to predict in terms of how she wants to be treated, she’s a lot more considerate than she seems at first, and at no point does she deny anyone else’s right to feel the way they do as long as they respect her own. In addition, while she doesn’t believe in hiding how she feels, she also does take measures to try not to step on others’ toes (that is to say, she understands that she can’t just selfishly do whatever she wants without regard for others). Out of all of the deaths presented in the three main routes, Saki’s is perhaps the most purely selfless one as she knowingly accepts death in the face of her fear of it, as long as it saves others -- especially since the weight of “failing” her friends hangs so over her head that she loses all sense of self-worth.

The beginning of Part 5 of the Wrathful route reveals that Saki had been delaying a surgery out of fear of its outcome, despite the fact that it would greatly increase her chance of living longer if she takes it. It’s left ambiguous whether she does actually decide to commit to it after the events of the game, but the three endings where she survives (Harmony, Moral, and Truthful) confirm she at least lives for a year after the game’s events. One can only hope that the events of the game and her friends convinced her to have the courage to take it!

Incidentally, Adventure and 02 generally had a pattern that the characters with Digimon partners that were closest to their own personalities were the ones that usually were more straightforward -- so naturally, Saki and Floramon have the closest to identical temperaments from the very beginning.

Shuuji and Lopmon

Considering that Jou tends to be one of the most well-liked Adventure characters by adult fans, depending on how you look at it, it’s either deeply ironic or incredibly fitting (or both) that his Survive counterpart is turning out to probably be the most controversial character in the cast.

In fact, on the surface level, Shuuji’s profile is almost identical to Jou’s from temperament to backstory. He’s the oldest of the group (in this case, the only one in high school) and is therefore considered the “leader” with responsibility for everyone by default, but doesn’t really have the mettle to keep himself together for it at first. His sense of duty has roots in his family life, including a father who has high expectations of him and a shadow of an older brother looming over him. However, one factor makes all the difference here: Shuuji’s doing all of this specifically because he wants to please others and get their approval.

Jou wasn’t really all that worried about what others thought of him (other than the minimum amount of respect necessary to have faith in his ability to keep them together). The concept of “status” didn’t really play any sort of factor, and in fact, he was portrayed as even somewhat dragging his feet when it came to studies or social status. On top of that, poking into a 02 drama CD reveals that Jou’s dad wasn’t actually that controlling, and was perfectly willing to give his blessing to Jou about not becoming a doctor; it’s just that Jou knew that, emotionally speaking, he wouldn’t be very happy about it, so Jou was doing this because he just really cared about his dad’s feelings. Jou only didn't want to "disappoint" others because he happened to have a Good Samaritan nature of wanting to help others, and in fact it almost seemed he thought of himself too little to the point of having a rather recklessly self-sacrificial streak (Adventure episodes 7, 23, 36). When Jou said “because I’m the oldest”, what it meant was “because as the oldest, I take my responsibility to take care of everyone very seriously”.

In contrast, Shuuji’s fixation with being respected as the “leader” is decidedly less altruistic than Jou’s, and in contrast to Jou not really worrying that much about what others think of him, Shuuji believes he’s entitled to everyone’s respect and acts out of fear of abandonment. Of course, the beginning of Part 5 makes it clear why there’s such a huge difference here: instead of a father who was still ultimately supportive despite everything and two older brothers who looked out for him, Shuujii’s father is emotionally abusive, and while his brother doesn’t seem actively condescending per se, he seems to have a sense of resigned apathy and is only driving Shuuji’s inferiority complex in further. (While it wasn’t said in Adventure or 02 that Jou was necessarily concerned about being compared to his older brothers, there was a nuance Jou had a very intimidating “example” set by his university-aged brothers -- but that's also exactly why Shin pulled Jou aside to give him advice in Adventure episode 38.) With the fear of being "abandoned" instilled in him, Shuuji desperately tries to prove to everyone around him that he's capable of being a "leader", but his obsession with trying to force everyone's respect rather than doing anything actually worthy of it only earns him less respect, which he knows...leading to a very bad loop.

Shuuji's behavior of being a well-meaning abuse victim who ends up exhibiting abusive behavior as a maladaptive response to his trauma is unfortunately a very well-known cycle, especially in the way it manifests via his behavior towards Lopmon. In a moment of clarity at the beginning of Part 5, Shuuji does notice that Lopmon's behavior towards him mirrors his own behavior towards his father, but this only results in a slight improvement in their relationship (from “treating him like a disgusting monster” to “overworking him to uncomfortable extents”), with Shuuji treating Lopmon in the exact same way his own father treated him. If you know anything about typical maladaptive trauma behavior, it comes out most prominently when the person in question feels the safest -- when they feel threatened, they shrink under the trauma, and when they feel safe, they try to make use of the control of the situation they’d so desperately been lacking, resulting in them resorting to the only thing they know how to do. So ironically, Shuuji began behaving this way because he actually felt emotionally safer with the kids and with Lopmon than he did at home; in front of his family, he shrank and groveled at his father’s feet, but once he was in a situation he did have an opportunity for respect, he became overly controlling.

In three of the four routes, Shuuji dies a vicious and unfortunate death when his own negativity dark evolves (for lack of a better way to put it) Lopmon and symbolically results in him being destroyed by his own malice, but in the Truthful route, Ryo gives him a good smack in the face to bring him back to his senses. While it's implied that Ryo was in the best position to understand how necessary that was due to having personally experienced trauma himself, at the same time, it's also remarkable just how quickly Shuuji bounces back and completely changes his tune thereafter. In fact, it’s quite unlikely Shuuji himself wanted to be this kind of person, it’s just that this kind of behavior was the only way he knew how to respond. (Note the symbolism of Wendimon himself clearly being in anguish and effectively crying for help even after devouring Shuuji -- he was afraid of his own destructive qualities.) Even if Shuuji wasn’t necessarily dealing with a supernaturally implanted ball of darkness in the back of his neck, it is not entirely off to be making a comparison with Ichijouji Ken.

Shuuji’s role in helping achieve the Truthful outcome happens because he decides to become the Professor’s assistant, meaning that Shuuji is actually incredibly capable and intelligent to the point where his observations help the Professor reach a level of understanding he wouldn’t have been able to otherwise. Shuuji himself says that he decided to start working under the Professor because he wanted an adult’s example to follow, which is important because this is basically Shuuji realizing that the other adults in his life had failed him. For all his father gave him grief for being a bad leader, he wasn’t exactly setting a fantastic example himself about what a good leader should be, and Takuma notes that Shuuji is starting to take on some actual leadership qualities just by being more confident and being more assured of what he wants. Shuuji says that he’ll talk to his father and brother once he gets back, and it’s not entirely clear whether this will go well (personally, I’m willing to put more bets on his brother, whom I imagine is likely to be a victim of their father as much as Shuuji is), but the important part is that this will mean Shuuji asserting himself and what he wants back at his family, pursuing what he wants to do and being a leader figure in his own way, rather than doing things just because his family expects him to.

It took a much longer and much more painful way to get there, but Shuuji was able to come to a forward-thinking conclusion for himself not entirely unlike the one Jou reached at the end of Adventure, which I think is pretty neat.

Kaito and Dracmon, Miu and Syakomon

Kaito and Miu’s character stories are so intertwined that I honestly feel it would be better to combine their sections here (I also know Miu would probably hate this, so I give my deepest apologies to her). Of course, it probably goes without saying that they’re Survive’s parallels to Yamato and Takeru, in the form of an overprotective older brother and a younger sibling who wants to be more independent. However, Yamato and Takeru’s situation was heavily influenced by their family situation, which is very different from Kaito and Miu’s, resulting in some pretty significant differences.

Back in Adventure, Yamato and Takeru’s parents having divorced meant that the brothers only got to see each other once a year (Yamato jokingly compares it to Tanabata in 02 episode 17), and Takeru had gotten his parents to agree to let him join Yamato’s camp despite not even going to his school. Thus, Takeru was openly affectionate with his brother because he was happy to even have the chance to be with him at all, and Yamato was overprotective because he didn’t have very many opportunities to do much for Takeru to begin with. Both of them were still heavily hurt by the divorce and coping with it in ways that were not entirely dissimilar to each other; Yamato started judging his own self-worth by his ability to be independent and via comparisons to other people, and Takeru suppressing everything and pretending he had it together and everything was fine, even when it wasn’t. Yamato derived his self-worth from his overprotectiveness of Takeru because he was afraid of the idea of anyone providing that role better than him (such as Taichi), whereas Takeru’s insistence on independence came from his desire to avoid difficult things and to not hold everyone back.

In Kaito and Miu’s case, the two still live together, but the inciting incident that defined their current relationship was the fallout from Miu being targeted by a stalker and Kaito dealing with him violently, resulting in the family relocating to the countryside and both of them blaming themselves for it; Kaito blames himself for not sufficiently protecting Miu during the incident, whereas Miu blames herself for causing a burden on her family and everyone around her.

While Miu’s desire to be independent and tendency to retreat into escapism reflects Takeru’s, her way of reacting to it is almost the opposite; Takeru responded by trying to present himself as a responsible, mature kid who had everything together, whereas Miu shirks responsibility altogether and sinks herself into occult hobbies and mischief. (It’s for this reason that while Part 4 contains a scenario that greatly calls back to the Princess Mimi subplot from Adventure episode 25, it’s Miu who is the central character instead of Mimi’s actual counterpart Saki, who’s significantly less selfish.) On Kaito’s end, he becomes so obsessed with his role as Miu’s protector that it becomes more about him than it ever becomes about Miu. His description of her as a frail girl at the beginning of the game is horrendously off, and his hot-headedness is to the point where Miu calls him out for defaulting to solving things with violence and using her as a proxy for it. (Yamato did lose his emotional composure enough to start punching Taichi out in Adventure episode 9, but this wasn’t treated as something that would have normally happened if not for the immediate stress of the situation he was in, and his punch on Taichi in 02 episode 10 came from him knowing Taichi would understand what he was intending to do with it, but Kaito going as far as to even slap Miu in Part 9 makes it clear that it’s not really about her as much as it’s Kaito wanting his way in being her “protector”.)

Of course, Kaito’s abrasive nature masks the fact Kaito genuinely does want to be friendly and simply has a hard time expressing it, but when Miu dies in the Harmony route, the despair brings the worst out of him, and his more self-centered stake in the equation ends up taken to its logical conclusion. Having basically centered his entire life around Miu’s existence and his own relation to her, Kaito decides that the entire world can burn for all he cares despite it being very obvious Miu wouldn’t approve of that (and when everyone informs him of this fact, Kaito merely retorts that they don’t have the right to say they know what she would think, as if he would know any better). In the end, Kaito is only barely brought to his senses before being destroyed by what he helped create.

Things end up better for Kaito and Miu on the Moral and Truthful routes, although, interestingly, the problem is not completely solved over the course of the game; Kaito keeps lapsing into overprotective tendencies, but he admits to Takuma that this isn’t good and that he needs to start doing better. Even if Kaito wants to do better, this kind of habit is not going to go away overnight, so it’s important that he keep this in mind going forward, especially since the end of the Moral route has him remind his shadow that he’s not going to be a very good brother to Miu if he ignores the fact she can take care of herself. Miu, on her part, stops shirking responsibility and becomes more aware of her need to not cause more trouble for others; on top of her compassion winning out in Part 4 when she realizes how much her immaturity had been causing others pain, she also starts taking more proactive roles as each route progresses, and the Moral and Truthful routes have her be more willing to admit that she doesn’t want to have a bad relationship with her brother despite everything.

Dracumon has a much more put-together personality than Kaito and is key in getting him to chill and hold back instead of losing his temper, similar to how Kaito is aware that he needs to do better (thus, him completely succumbing to his own despair and selfishness results in him willingly throwing Dracumon out for the sake of more power). Syakomon and Miu are like-minded enough that they have the best relationship among most of the partner pairs in the game, but Syakomon is significantly more down-to-earth and pragmatic, and she serves as a reminder of the responsibility to others Miu knows she’s shirking when she goes off to do things at her own convenience.

Miyuki and Renamon (”Haru”)

Fun fact: Due to Hikari’s natural sensitivity to Digital World-related phenomena and the fact she outright channels “the one who wishes for stability” (novel name: Homeostasis) in Adventure episode 45, quite a few Japanese fans have taken to  calling her a “shrine maiden” (miko), basically comparing her to a Shinto priestess who helps communicate with the gods and convey their will...so, naturally, her Survive counterpart is an actual shrine maiden.

In fact, comparing Hikari and Miyuki is a little difficult, mainly due to the fact their contexts are so different -- the more detailed nuances of Hikari’s characterization didn’t start popping up until 02, and her comparatively short time in Adventure had her with a cold, so she wasn’t exactly in her most optimal condition. Thankfully, if we do retroactively reflect Hikari’s further characterization in 02 back on Adventure (especially since Miyuki seems to be closer to 02!Hikari’s age anyway), Miyuki is actually pretty similar to Hikari’s nature of being bright, assertive, insightful, very put-together, and incredibly selfless. (Also, the scene of her immediately going right to the blackboard and drawing out the relationship between the worlds brings to mind Hikari’s Jogress mockups in 02 episode 28 and her parallel worlds diagram in 02 episode 34.)

As for Miyuki herself, she is at least significantly more willing to be vocal and outspoken about her feelings instead of clamming up to dangerous levels and risking falling into despair about her own welfare like Hikari would (Adventure episode 48, 02 episodes 13 and 31). In addition, the fact she grew up as a “responsible older sister” instead of being in the shadow of an older brother like Taichi means she grew up with the expectation of having responsibility for Akiharu, and her independent streak seems to be in line with that (it’s commented that even despite Akiharu now being much older than her in age, she still seems to have it more together than him). However, being born to the Minase family meant she was trained as a shrine maiden from the very beginning, which ends up causing much more misfortune for her than it does Hikari; Hikari’s sensitivity abilities were more of a “factor” than anything, and her ordeal with Miyako in 02 episode 31 allowed her to assert herself in spite of her special position, but Miyuki understands her role as a shrine maiden to be a duty, which includes considering it her responsibility to sacrifice herself for others and the world if need be. And while Homeostasis ultimately borrowed Hikari’s body after negotiating with her and left after courteously explaining themself, the entity that ends up taking possession of Miyuki for the last few chapters of the game is...decidedly not as benevolent.

Takuma’s initial contact with the “real” Miyuki in Part 8 is very brief (fittingly, it’s during the chapter he has contact with the real world, like with Taichi’s brief visit and meeting with Hikari in Adventure episode 21), but it’s enough to convince him that she should be considered a trusted friend worth saving, which puts him a bit at odds with the others for a short time after his return. Unfortunately, Miyuki remains somewhat of a damsel-in-distress for most of the rest of the game, and in two of the four routes (Wrathful and Harmony) she unceremoniously dies when the route’s main antagonist absorbs her. On the flip side, however, she becomes extremely instrumental in saving everyone in the Moral and Truthful routes, and is also granted a way home and a much happier future with her brother.

Interestingly, the parallel continues with Miyuki’s partner Renamon having a very “complicated” relationship with her partner and with loyalties or morality in a similar way to Hikari’s partner Tailmon-- but in an inverted sense. Other than the obvious partnership reasons, Tailmon’s absolute loyalty to Hikari came from a past lifetime of bitterness gained from blackmail and abuse on Vamdemon’s part, so it’s only natural that she jumped ship at the opportunity and took the chance to be with someone who would treat her with love. (She did initially start off on a bit more of an abrasive note with the other Digimon, most notably setting Gomamon off with her attitude in Adventure episode 45, but she eventually settled in.) Renamon is the opposite; her absolute loyalty to Miyuki and desire to be the one to make her happy (even to the point of taking the form of someone she hates) results in her stooping as low as trickery, betrayal, and submitting herself to an abusive master just for the chance to get Miyuki back (and, more selfishly, to prove that her bond with Miyuki means something, in the sense that she can’t stand the idea of anyone being more important to Miyuki than herself). It's an interesting contrast where, in both cases, the arguably most morally upright person in the group has a partner who ends up most closely associated with questionable morality, but it also goes to show you that even the best of intentions can end up with very bad results when sufficiently pointed in the wrong direction.

Professor (Akiharu)

Every Digimon series needs a designated infodump character to unpack what’s going on with the worldbuilding and all, and back in Adventure Koushirou was the main bearer of this role -- in fact, he was so important that he ended up constantly showing up in 02 despite not technically being a part of the advertised main cast. At first, it seems as if the Professor really is mostly just this, and it’s initially even questionable how helpful of one he’ll be when it seems like he’s died at the end of Part 3. But not only does the Professor return to provide more info behind what’s going on, he also ends up becoming instrumental to determining the difference between the endings, because whether he’s present or not and how much he’s learned become the biggest influencing factors on the outcome. (The Harmony route involves the gate being opened much less aggressively than in the Wrathful route, but it’s implied things still had a worse outcome than they did in the Truthful route because the Professor wasn’t able to be there anymore to give any guidance, and the Moral route has everyone seal off the gate because him never uncovering the truth behind the Master meant they destroyed it and thus the system that gave the boundary between worlds any stability.)

The Truthful route happens thanks to the chain reaction of Ryo saving Shuuji and Shuuji becoming the Professor’s assistant, allowing him to more effectively dig up the truth regarding the Four Holy Beasts, the Master, and Haruchika -- hence why it’s called the “truthful” route, not simply in terms of being a “true ending”, but also in terms of it being the ending where the truth behind it all was revealed. Through flashbacks and eventually some outright statements, we learn that as even as a kid, Akiharu actually had quite a bit in common with Koushirou, in terms of being timid and deferential yet bursting with intellectual curiosity and a desire to know more. Back in Adventure, Koushirou managed to uncover some very important things about the Digital World thanks to the fact he actively pursued anything he was interested in, and while Akiharu spending his life studying the Kemonogami might initially seem to be his way of coping with the traumatic loss of his sister and memories, he tells Garurumon in the Truthful route that it was simply his encounter with him that inspired him to learn more and teach others.

The ending of the Truthful route draws parallels between the siblings Haruchika and Yukiha with their descendants Haru and Miyuki, but their situations are reversed; Haruchika was the one “abandoned” by his sister, whereas Miyuki was “abandoned” back in the Digital World when she sent her brother back, and thus the Master attempts to claim Miyuki as someone who should sympathize with him only to find that she bears absolutely none of the malice he does. And like Yukiha, Akiharu doesn’t give up on finding his sibling again and eventually manages to do so, despite going through trauma and memory loss (and some scorn from the scientific community) to get there. On the flip side, Garurumon ends up bearing the emotional pain of being left behind, but in the Moral and Truthful routes he can’t bring himself to hold the grudge for too long once it becomes clear Akiharu really didn’t mean for that to happen. In the end, despite all the trouble that happened between Akiharu, Miyuki, Garurumon, and Renamon, none of them were able to hold onto their grudges, and that’s what eventually allows them to save Haruchika from his own.

Haruchika

You might be wondering, wait, what, this guy? Well, you see, in the Truthful route we find out that he was a sacrifice for others to have power, and he decided to take out his feelings of betrayal out on the world and bring it down with him. Now how does that correlate to anything in Adventure --

-- oh, okay.

I’m sure a lot of Adventure fans who finished the Truthful route were probably at least able to figure out the parallel overall, but inspecting it closely reveals there’s even more than you might think -- Haruchika is deliberately drawn as a parallel to Akiharu in a sort of Survive equivalent to a “fallen Chosen Child”, and his laments rather parallel Apocalymon’s “we wanted to live and speak of friendship, justice, and love!” And in the Moral route version of things, the Master forces the kids to go through trials of overcoming their darkest feelings and reaffirming how far they’ve come, quite similar to the reaffirmations in Adventure episode 53.

Fortunately for Haruchika, his much deeper contextual relation to Survive’s story and themes (and therefore sympathetic qualities) allow him to be saved and to pass on properly with Yukiha, which certainly beats going out in a failed suicide bombing. Adventure, as a sort of pioneer for Digimon works thereafter, had Apocalymon serve as the “inhibitor of evolution” compared to Adventure’s “story of evolution”, but Survive, which spends more time examining what a Digimon partner even is in the first place, thus has Haruchika represent more of a challenge to what the Survive kids learn to find and what ultimately saves Haruchika himself in the end: as the theme song says, turning hatred into love. Haruchika himself is said to be the first to have realized that bonds between humans and Digimon made each other stronger -- basically being the inventor of Digimon partnerships in this universe -- only for him to end up succmbing to his own hatred and the malice of the world.

Also, when you really think about it, the Master is the closest thing you can say to entities that “chose” the kids as the Survive equivalent of Chosen Children -- at least, in the sense that their distortions dragged the kids into the Digimon world in order to prey on them. Homeostasis and the Agents were still guilty of dragging Adventure’s Chosen Children into the Digital World and not really giving them good explanations, but Homeostasis rather courteously explains in Adventure episode 45 that they were doing it out of desperation for lack of many other options. However, Homeostasis also made it clear that they didn’t have many abilities on their own besides housekeeping, and that the kids would have to be the one to figure the rest out on their own (the novels clarify that it’s really nothing more than a security system), whereas the Master does pose himself in a deity-like position and even has the entire stability of the Digital World depend on him -- it’s just that they’re also quite the opposite of cooperative. So in both cases, regardless of the initial circumstances, the groups involved had to solve the problem on their own will.

#digimon #digimon survive #shihameta #shiha's ask box #survive spoilers

[hislittleraincloud]

I'm half tempted to tell a fan "NEVER!!!" to their question of when my next chapter is coming.

I'd do it because I've already told the people over at AO3 that if they want updates on my work and progress of my work, to follow this blog.

I don't think they're following this blog.

Like srsly, I know that it's been a month since the last chapter. But unless I want the story to go to complete shit and watch all the work I've done just implode because of terrible writing or missing/misplaced scenes (like what happened w Chapter 6 Part 1), I said a million times, I'm not going to rush it.

While this main story is written, there are huge gaps and missing scenes still in my head and notes. I have had to draw a fucking map of the sequence of events so my story can fit in there with the fewest leaps of logic/thought, though I have to weave around the show's leaps of logic too, and for 7 and 8, that's a big thing.

But for those in the back:

Chapters 7 and 8 correlate with Episodes 7 and 8, which I find were rushed and terribly written (I'm not alone in this thinking). The first half of Chapter 7 takes place during the few days between AB Wednesday's breakdown and Mayor Walker's funeral, because funerals like that don't happen overfuckingnight like the show made it seem. There's not going to be much, if any, sex in it...or even direct interaction between Donovan and Wednesday (unless in flashbacks/memories); that will happen in Chaoter 7 Part 2. And I realize it's late in the game, but Chapter 7 as a whole will introduce action with two new characters (one canon, another purely Afterburn). I gotta do what I'm doing if the story's going to continue smoothly into After the Burn.

I won't let any rushing of half-assedness happen to my preciously perverted (😉) fic, its headers, or its extras (including more music and audio work).

And I don't want to pull the Poor Me card, but I have chronic illnesses (four regular hard meds...weed also helps). Sometimes it's hard for me to find the energy to feed myself (I forgot to feed myself the other day 🫣). But the one thing I haven't stopped doing since at least April (though my rough outline of the story goes back to about mid-March/around St. Patrick's Day) is write/create, and it's the first writing I've done since I got bashed. I often fall asleep with my phone in my hand and it scares me because I'm always in my Google Drive and I'm afraid I'll some day accidentally delete shit.

No wonder AO3 authors go nuts. I never had this problem here. I have a whole damn story on another fandom/Tumblr and never felt pressured to crap out the next installment.

Irritated now. Here, have Afterburn Wednesday from my Chapter 3 just for shits:

Obviously I wouldn't just tell them NEVER and not follow up w/a jk...bc I'm not a total asshole. Most of the time.

#writing problems #writing #writing wednesday #satisfying afterburn #it's being fleshed out #that was a pun since there's hardly any sex in this part of the chapter #wednesday #wednesday addams #sheriff donovan galpin #wednesday x sheriff galpin #wednesday addams x sheriff galpin #wenovan #black bubblegum #ao3 authors #ao3 author #ao3 #ao3 problems

[melancholycatastrophe]

Jotting down some thoughts about Only Friends Episode 4:

spoilers, obviously

That first scene with Ray broke me, that feeling of worthlessness and how everyone must hate you hit a little too hard for me

I was right thinking that Ray is closer to Mew than the others (and maybe vice versa), possibly because Mew is his emergency contact and saved him when he was feeling suicidal; which reminds me of when Ray told Sand that it was his turn to save him after Sand took care of him while he was drunk

That one person's theory that Ray is using Sand as an emotional replacement for Mew, who he already holds on a pedestal and probably is attached to Mew more than he likes Mew, is probably true. Idk I'm not really analyzing but I genuinely feel that Ray uses people as an emotional crutch in order to get things from them that he never got from his own mom - love, compassion, someone to hold

Cheum is so me: "Ray, if I wasn't a lesbian I would love you"

Side note: I love scenes where all four of them are together and doing friend stuff even though they're all backstabbing each other (except Cheum, bless her)

The fact that Boston saw his two close friends kiss and recorded it, kept it for two years without saying anything is so???????? I want to crack open his head and figure out whats wrong with him

Ray saying Sand is not his type after he had his tongue down his throat not 30 minutes ago is??????????

Ray still being in love with Mew is so sad especially when Mew clearly only sees him as a friend (He's gotta be on the ace-aro spectrum is2g Mew is demisexual and probably aroflux or something along that line. Trust me, I'm also ace(-probably aro) and he's just like me)

Mew laying clear boundaries with others is hot. Actually, yes, kissing someone who is asleep without their consent is weird and you shouldn't do it, this isn't a kdrama Ray, you can't get away with it

I can't wait for Nick to rock Boston's shit I'll be honest, I really want him to try and blackmail Boston into a relationship, they can be red flag4red flag

Top really has the AUDACITY to call Mew his future boyfriend as if he didn't fuck Boston like he had something to prove just the other day, all men do is lie

That airplane with a B on it....the photobooth at the hotel.....Top I was really rooting for you but you're getting on my last nerve...

Ray is the kinda guy that doesn't know what the price of eggs are

"I do want money but friendship and love can't be bought" Sand I literally can't relate, would love someone to buy me things in exchange for my friendship

Raysand is so cute at the guitar shop I just know Ray is gonna leave Sand broken hearted, there's no way Sand is getting out of this unscathed

Ray is so lovely when he apologizes and looks up with those puppy dog eyes I would forgive him too, its okay Sand

Sand loves arctic monkeys and oasis 😭 move over Ray, I can treat him better

Every time Boston is in the same frame as Top, I let out the biggest sigh; I love Ton, I won't lie, but God I need him to leave topmew alone (on the other hand, I wanna see Mew rock both Top and Boston's shit)

I love that scene in the elevator when Top was reading Ton to filth but couldn't he had done it before he had sex with him???? Like Book, I too will bring up that car scene every single time

God I don't trust Top

Out of context BostonNick is really cute, I wanna see Neo and Mark together in another series where they get play boyfriends

also Nick relistens to that damn audio more times than I rewatch episode 12 of Mignon

Nick trying to blackmail Top instead of telling Mew is such a choice. "Can you stay away from Boston?" bruh he's trying to, Boston is the one that appears out of nowhere like that one mosquito

"Top stole my ex" OH MY GOD OHHHHH MY GOD I KNEW IT BUT IT STILL TOOK ME BY SURPRISE

Book is so fine, idk something about the glasses gets me in every scene he's in

unrequited love for your best friend is so rough, I feel for you Ray (but he has a point. Mew, do you really want Top as your boyfriend?)

"Who punched you? I want to give them a trophy?" You can suck his dick too, Ray, since it's Sand

For a second I forgot who Beam was 😭 I was so focused on Boston and Top that I forgot Top slept with the entire young adult male population of Thailand

"Beam is a drug dealer" hOW IS THAT ANY BETTER?????

"Are you okay with that?" WHY WOULD HE BE OKAY WITH HIS POTENTIAL BOYFRIEND DOING COCAINE?????

why do I have the oddest feeling that Mew has some kind of background with dealing with addicts cuz that "quit drugs" speech was a little too impassioned. like a previous family member or someone was an addict and now he no longer wants to take care of people who are addicts because of how emotionally exhausting it is. maybe this theory is coming out of my ass but it might explain why he keeps Ray strictly as a friend (since not only is he an alcohol addict he also does cocaine???? boy are you trying to kill yourself?) and he gets mad at top for also doing drugs

i thought mew would use sex as a way to prove that he and ray were strictly friends, not as a reward to get top to stop doing drugs. i'm so flabbergasted and also top is kinda weird for wanting sex as a reward for taking care of himself but whatever

now I'm distracted at the fact that Top brought a packet of cocaine with him to Mew's place like??? was he planning to sniff a line while Mew was sleeping or...?

Man I was wrong about that airplane....but my point still stands

out of context topmew is cute

ray just wants to feel important to someone but now that mew has top, he's gonna cling to sand....i'm sad i just want ray to love and be loved

sharing music is a love language

the next episode looks too happy, i dont trust it

#only friends the series #only friends spoilers

[linnorabeifong]

🌟⭐🌟

Okay so here is some director’s commentary on “Happy Birthday to Me…I Guess” it wa so hard to decide what to write about. I really want to talk about the creative process behind this without spoiling it.

I had the idea when I rewatched the show and saw the scene with the photo of Yasuko and I realized we know nothing about her. I really wanted to remedy that. I also really love Asami and Asami centric fics. She’s such an enchanting character. She’s so elegant and mysterious 💜🤍

I couldn’t find a fic that was exactly what I was looking to read so I decided to write it myself. The premise is a little unoriginal I’m sure I could probably find a lot of ficus tackling this if I actually looked.

Where it gets fun is well… Asami doesn’t remember anything about her childhood or mother. It’s between seasons three and four and all of her friends are busy with their respective careers and she’s just kind of left out. She is still feeling the lingering affects of her father’s betrayal, Varrick’s attempt at stealing her company etc. She’s just really going through it and focusing on keeping her company going, to be honest she is neglecting herself.

She forgets her own birthday ! A girl’s twenty first birthday should be an occasion and so while Asami may neglect it someone else doesn’t. She’s sent a dress that was her mother’s and it sparks her curiosity. But there’s more. There’s a photo too… So now she wants to rediscover her parents past and figure out who tf sent this.

Along the way she enlists the help of her friends. But there’s more to the gift because it triggers memories. She has these really creepy/bizzare dreams and nightmares.

it’s a bit obvious who the gift sender is. But there are multiple plot points besides the mystery and the focus of the story alternates and changes as it develops.

(Side tangent/ secondary plot: She also really misses Korra, who hasn’t responded to any of her letters or calls and Asami doesn’t know how to handle her more than platonic desires. More on that later)

Through circumstance she finds out more information.

there is also a Kya-centric sub plot.

i don’t want to spoil anymore of it here’s more of the creative process/ inspo.

I wanted to use a large cast of characters and really flesh them all out more ( even and especially background characters) and give them something. I wanted to fill this with so many soft moments and backstory.

I also wanted to flesh out the city itself.! I love Republic City, it’s the most wonderful mix of cities around the world. Chicago, New York, Shang Hai, (Fun fact: The square in the park where the equalists protest in episode one is actually based off of a place in London) I know some fans don’t like how Americanized LOK is compared to its predecessor and the city is a massive part of that criticism. This is valid ! But I also feel that in some ways the Chicago influence ( the city is infamous for 20’s mobsters and I personally hear more old man from the Windy City than grumpy New Yorker in Zolt’s voice, but once again maybe I am over analyzing) kind of works. Hear me out. These American cities are a melting pot of cultures, and RC is supposed to be that as well, it’s the only place where all four nations combine.

tangent aside we’re given a massive city and so little lore. So I’ve sprinkled in street names and head cannons that one day I will expand upon.

💖I LoVe Yasuko💖

The idea behind Yasuko’s backstory was what if she had a rough background and weaseled her way into the upper class… and what if she had some interesting friends… I really wanted to see her as more than just a mom. I wanted to give her hobbies and make her proud of her culture and a sassy sweetheart. I wanted her to be the kind of person who fights tooth and nail for the people she cares about and is loyal to the bitter end.

I also may or may not be writing a companion piece set about (does the math) almost forty years before this one.

maybe I’m giving away too much.

I’m trying to keep it lighthearted but it’s kind of hard because we’ll… the circumstances of Yasuko’s death and the …. details of it.

there is also fluff and there will eventually be romance .💖 Korrasami 💖

so that’s my rant … and I still have more to say.

#korrasami #directors commentary #legend of korra #fanfiction #archive of our own #asami sato

[sniperct]

I’ve never watched Star Trek. I’m a trans lesbian, big SFF reader, enjoy Star Wars quite a bit with my wife and a kiddos. Where do my wife and I start?

There are a number of different ways you can watch it. If you like a bit of camp with good stories, starting with TOS is never a bad bet. You could also start with Strange New Worlds which is like TOS with more modern progressiveness(but TOS was incredibly progressive and transgressive for its day. We're talking when mini-skirts were so much the height of feminism that the female cast members insisted on it and plots such as 'this alien is half white black and hates the alien who's half black white for looking different and that's bad' among others.

TNG had a rough first season, but there are some gems, 2nd season is better than many people remember and 3rd season onward is generally gold. That's also a good onramp point as they don't lean too heavily into trek nostalgia. DS9 is my favorite trek for a variety of reasons and with both DS9 and Voyager you don't really need too much prior knowledge, they're good at explaining things as they go. DS9 is a direct spin off of TNG so there are some concepts (bajor, the cardassians, sisko's backstory) that spin out of that but they explain that in the first episode. VOY spun out of DS9, the biggest thing being a group called the Maquis, which I don't remember if they fully explain them enough.

Discovery is GREAT, but the first season is heavy and i don't recommend it as a starter series. I also don't recommend Enterprise until you've watched everything (and tbh I don't recommend it at all except for the 2 mirror universe episodes, but a lot of people like the show so more power to them.)

Picard is good once you've watched TNG and the four TNG movies.

There are three cartoons. The Animated Series has terrible animation but there are some amazing episodes with great writing hidden in there. Generally something to try after watching TOS, before the TOS movies. Lower Decks I think is great for newbies but is mostly a love letter to fans and geared for adults. Prodigy would be a good onramp as it does a good job of introducing starfleet and the federation and explaining the ideals of both. Its a bit like the clone wars as an animated show for kids with some deeper themes.

For the most part you can't go wrong starting just about anywhere, but my personal preferred watching order when I do the yearly 'turn on star trek while working' marathon is mostly chronological.

But I really don't suggest watching discovery first, so a good order would be Original series, animated series (okay to skip tbh, the animations is really hard to get through), the first six movies(you could probably skip 5 but then you'd miss a reference in strange new worlds lol), The next generation, the first TNG movie, DS9 seasons 1-4, the second two TNG movies, DS9 seasons 5-7, the last TNG movie, Voyager 1-7, Lower Decks, Prodigy, then skip back to discovery and strange new worlds, then finally finish with Picard.

That said, my gut tells me strange new worlds, TOS or TNG would all be good starting points for you, but I can't recommend DS9 enough once you've dipped your toes in, so maybe even start with that one!

I know this answer sucks but I've been a fan so long I'm not sure I can honestly answer for new people coming in as to what they might or might not like as a starter.

Actually going back to star wars, DS9 is one of the more actiony series, discovery is too, but very heavy first season (all of the new treks make good use of modern effects to give starships the manueverability you'd want/expect, but DS9 is where they started doing that first). Both series explore the darker side of the universe, or rather the more morally grey side, while also willing to embrace the hope and beauty of the universe (discovery especially has that become the main theme of the series. hope, unity, exploration, wonder)

TLDR: there's so many places to start is there anyone who is a newer fan who might have better advice?

[kholran]

Writing patterns

Rules: List the first line of your last 10 (posted) fics and see if there's a pattern! Thanks for tagging me @alxina!

"The sound of heavy footsteps angrily stomping down the hall towards the apartment he shares with his brother is the only warning Liu Sang gets before a fist starts hammering on the door with enough force to bow the cheap wood in its frame." (Long Way Home, DMBJ, RiSang Pretty Woman AU)

"In the summer of 2005, a group of amateur climbers stumbled upon the remains of an ancient palace complex near the summit of San Sheng in the Changbai Mountains." (Reach Up and Rise Again, DMBJ, RiSang Pacific Rim AU)

"Prince Zhang Rishan, second born son of the reigning Emperor Zhang, and Commander of the Imperial Guard, storms his way into Courtesan Xie's study, throws himself down face-first onto the lavishly appointed day bed, and groans into a pillow in a manner most unbefitting of either of his titles." (All Disasters Have An Upside, DMBJ, RiSang palace drama AU)

"Liu Sang's rented pickup truck—a generous label for a vehicle that looks as if it's been pieced together from at least four others—creeps its slow and bumpy way through the forested wilderness." (Wild Fire, DMBJ, RiSang, part of Pyre-verse)

"The floorboards creak softly under impossibly quiet footsteps, and the hairs on the back of Liu Sang's neck prickle in that now-familiar way that says he's being watched." (Common Ground, DMBJ, Liu Sang & Wang Can ft background RiSang, follow-up to Ordinary World)

"How hard could it be to hail a taxi outside a high-end hotel in the business district of the second most populated city in China on a weekday morning?" (First, Burn, DMBJ, RiSang, part of Pyre-verse)

"Liu Sang drags himself wearily into his hotel room and closes the door behind him." (Where the Love Light Leads, DMBJ, RiSang, Pyre-verse Holiday Special)

"Wu Xie's plan failed." (Ordinary World, DMBJ, RiSang)

"From where he stands just beyond the rough-hewn porch of a crudely built structure on the outskirts of Boss Chen's territory, Liu Sang hears the thunk of a clay jug, three-quarters full, set onto the near end of a cloth-covered wooden table, the force of it enough to make the piled items on top rattle." (I Can Carry You, DMBJ, RiSang, part of Pyre-verse)

"Wu Xie was a lot of things." (Always the Last to Know, DMBJ, RiSang, part of Pyre-verse)

I guess I gravitate either towards short, punchy statements, or long, rambling sentences that put the reader into not just an event but a setting too. I'm a very visual writer, I think, in that I tend to 'see' a scene in my head and then try to describe it in words, so I like to try and start in a way that kind of mimics how an episode or movie might start.

Tagging: If you write and see this, then consider yourself tagged!

#my writing #things i'm tagged in

[thepastisalreadywritten]

When Rita Kimball found Spike in the parking lot of a grocery store in Camden, Ohio, USA, she had no idea the little chihuahua would still be her pet over 13 years later - let alone become the oldest dog living. 

The record holding su-paw-star, who was 23 years and 43 days old as of 7 December 2022, stands at 9 inches (22.86 cm) tall and weighs just 12.9 pounds (5.85 kg).

Impressively, he was already 10 years old when Rita and her family found him.

“He had been shaved up his back, had blood stains around his neck from a chain or rope, and looked pretty rough,” said Rita. 

“The clerk in the grocery told us he had been there for three days, and they were feeding him scraps.”

Not knowing who Spike belonged to, Rita decided to take the pup home to join the rest of the herd on her small farm. 

“When we left the store and entered the parking lot, he followed,” recalled Rita. 

Inspired by a cartoon dog that was known for its size and aggressive disposition, Rita named her new four-legged friend Spike. 

“My dog seemed to be the opposite; he was small and friendly, so I thought it just seemed to fit him,” said Rita.

“Spike was a name for a large dog. My guy was small, but he had the attitude of a big dog.”

In fact, the only time Spike ever bears his infamous chihuahua personality is when he’s pet by a stranger. 

“He is friendly but since he’s almost blind and hard of hearing, he gets testy at times and just wants to be left alone,” said Rita. 

But what does it take for a canine to reach a staggering 23 years of age? 

Well, for one, a solid routine. 

Spike starts his day between 7:00 am and 7:30 am. Sometimes he’ll eat breakfast right away or at times he’ll fast for a bit. 

On summer weekends, he takes walks with his beloved Rita in their rural hometown. 

“He visits with the animals in the barn: cows, horses, and barn cats,” said Rita. 

But those larger than Spike are no longer intimidated by his antics. 

“When he was younger, he tried intimidating the cows and horses by barking and trying to chase them,” said Rita.

“Now they just stare at him and don’t even move.”

After his morning stroll, Spike heads back to the house where he naps on the porch and prepares for the day ahead while Rita fixes herself a cup of coffee. 

“There’s always something to do on a farm; we cut wood, clean out fence rows, bale hay and harvest crops,” said Rita. 

After a long week of farm work, Spike will usually relish in Saturday evening baths.

Occasionally, he has braunschweiger with cheese for dinner and sometimes indulges in his favourite chips. 

"In his early years, he loved Doritos,” recalled Rita. 

“He liked them crunched up and would eat the cheese Doritos every time we had them.”

Some of Spike’s other favourite pastimes are napping, playing cat and mouse with the housecat Foxxy, and hiding his toy fox around the house.

It was during an episode of Jimmy Fallon one evening where Rita heard the news of former oldest dog living Pebbles and realised that Spike was actually older. 

“Most of our family knew that Spike was old but didn’t know he had a shot at being the oldest in the world,” said Rita. 

“Now that he is a record holder, they see him as a celebrity.”

Rita advises those with fuzzy friends to give their pet a healthy diet, room to roam, daily exercise, and unlimited love and attention.

#Spike #chihuahua #oldest dog living #Guinness World Records #Rita Kimball #Ohio #Pebbles #dogs

[lrandconkdors]

Reviewing Fall 2022's Anime Openings: My Hero Academia (Sixth season, first half; 9th OP overall)

Hitamuki ("Single-minded"), by SUPER BEAVER

Opening director: Tsuyoshi Tobita

My Hero Academia's newest opening kicks things off with a dorky-looking handwritten title card underlined by a bodacious guitar riff. It then proceeds to undercut anything they were going for with that, by hard cutting to the show's normal logo on a black screen once the vocals kick in. This start is rather representative of the OP as a whole.

Gonna be upfront and say that My Hero Academia's growing line of OPs haven't really sparked with me. There are only two that I would say "I enjoyed" when they came on, as opposed to "I patiently watched them run their course." This is mainly because they kind of all try to do the same thing... Hitamuki stands out with scenes rendered in an alternate art style - arguably a first for the series. Monochromatic backgrounds, giant written sounds, rough outlines and bold shading... the outline->bevel->drop-shadow look of the credits text is blatantly clashing with the aesthetic, and a handful of shots don't really have any sense of flow connecting them, but I appreciate what we have right there.

Then the chorus kicks in and the animation switches to the anime's normal artstyle. At the part where an OP typically goes all-out, it decided to kill off the one thing that made it unique.

Everything from that point on is just tricks and tropes already beaten into the ground by the OPs before it. I'm having a hard time describing the rest of the contents in a succinct fashion because it felt so aimless. But the majority of it is fast-paced animation-intensive shots designed to stimulate your senses, of heroes jumping into the sky and/or throwing out their respective attacks in the direction of some off-screen threat. Yeah, I remember when that amazed me back in 2017. And remember my nitpick about scene flow? Yeah, it's still out of wack! I just cannot get over how the opening's chorus-hype moment consists of the heroes trying to assault the camera for all of four seconds, then we see a shot of Hawks that looks like it's going to transition into something with all the flashing lights, only to hard cut to a completely unanimated group shot that lasts for the entire rest of the musical phrase! They didn't just stop the car, they negated its velocity and inflicted whiplash.

Thing is, though, even if someone reanimated every scene in the OP to look like the first half, and then rearranged them all until they discovered an order that flows 60% better, this product would still fall under the sin of not being that great a representation of the program it's attached to. Sure it makes sense for a My Hero Academia opening, but it's kind of off-base for a My Hero Academia 6th Season opening. It doesn’t feel like it’s trying to sell me on something different than its predecessors. Like, yeah, I guess the throwaway shots cram in all the characters who get relevance in this respective cour, but all the core shots are focused on Deku, Bakugo, and Shoto, even though part of the narrative made me forget they existed for at least a full episode. Yeah, if you pay attention you’ll see the characters are being depicted against various sceneries that line up with the time said character did a thing in said place, but yet the OP doesn’t feel like its heart is in it. It just feels like another OP that calls out, "Join your favorite heroes as they train for greatness, and eventually get in another scuffle with dark forces!" That is not the case for Season 6. The first episode sees the Hero Association proceed to throw every hero and hero-in-training they have at the enemy's base(s) of operations in an attempt to thwart the League of Villians* once and for all. This isn't the kind of arc you give an OP with a basic, inoffensive excitement curve. It should be balls to the wall from the get-go! *Not officially their name anymore, but I can't remember the new one.

As for the opening theme itself, it's... fine? I mean, it's exactly the kind of rock song you'd expect to hear on this show once again. But my feelings upon listening to it kept oscillating between "a cute yet powerful self-contained ditty" and "a generic bout that sounded cut up to fit the time limit."

For the record, I'm not completely caught up on the anime as I write this, and have yet to witness whether the OP succeeding makes any improvement.

#anime ops #fall 2022 anime #my hero academia #opening review

[kitkatwinchester]

A Letter To Supernatural

On September 13th, 2005, a new show made its debut on the WB. It was about two brothers whose lives were flipped upside down the day their mother was murdered by a demon. It had a small budget, a small cast, and a small crew, but the people involved were dedicated. They wanted to do everything they could to make sure the story of Sam and Dean Winchester was told. They wanted to show us the true power of family in the darkest of times. Little did any of them know just how much of a legacy they would create, and just how much of a family their following would come to be.

I was four years old when Supernatural first came on the air. I had no concept of any show beyond Blue’s Clues, Lazy Town, and the Disney Channel. I was a smart kid, but a kid nonetheless, and Supernatural just wasn’t something I was ready for. As I grew up, Supernatural achieved milestone after milestone. It made it through the channel change to the CW. It survived a writer’s strike in its third season. And in April of 2010, it hit its 100th episode milestone. As it neared the end of its fifth season, Eric Kripke’s original storyline had been told, and it seemed as if the show would end, then and there. But it didn’t. Instead, it continued beyond its originally scheduled timeline, taking on a new showrunner in its sixth season and continuing for years after. And in 2011, in the middle of said sixth season, it finally made its way onto my radar.

Tenzin Tsekye and I have been best friends for fourteen years, so we’ve spent a lot of time together. We’ve had hundreds of sleepovers, shared a million memories, and watched thousands of shows and movies together. So when, at one of our many sleepovers, she suggested that we watch an episode of something called “Supernatural”, I trusted her. She knows what I watch, she knows how I am. I was bound to like it. Except there was one problem. She insisted on watching this one episode that she really liked (Family Remains) that was smack dab in the middle of season four, and I was not having it. I told her that we had to start from the beginning. I didn’t know anything about this show, so how could I possibly watch an episode in the middle of its fourth season? It wouldn’t make any sense to me. She kept assuring me that it didn’t have anything to do with the main plot (a concept I now know as “Monster of the Week”), and that I would love it. But I wasn’t convinced, and I was persistent. I told her that if we weren’t going to start from the beginning, I wouldn’t watch it at all.

We argued about it for at least an hour, and finally, I backed down. I said that we could watch the season four episode only if we went back and watched the first episode afterwards. She agreed. After we watched Family Remains, she stuck to our agreement and we watched the pilot. And then we watched the second episode. And the third. And the fourth. And my entire life was changed forever.

It still baffles me to this day how close I came to never starting Supernatural to begin with. I thank Tenzin all the time for being so stubborn on that night. Who knows what my life would be like today if she hadn’t been? Looking back, it’s hard for me to picture a time before I started watching Supernatural--so much so that pinpointing when, exactly, it became the obsession that it is today is near impossible. But what follows is a rough timeline of events based on the major things I do remember.

Tenzin and I never wound up watching the rest of the show together. Instead, I brought the show up to my dad. It took a while, since we were both pretty busy, but by the next year, Supernatural had become our new thing. I was a busy middle schooler, so it was often hard to fit in watching more than one episode on the days we spent together, which meant it was slow-going for a while, but we did our best. Luckily, the fact that we weren’t binging it all at once meant that we were able to avoid a lot of the cliffhangers, (which, looking back at it now, makes me feel very lucky), and it gradually became my favorite show of all time. By the time Season 9 was on the air, in 2014, we had caught up on all eight seasons on Netflix, and I was hooked and ready for more.

We didn’t have cable, so instead, we watched every episode a few days after they aired once they came on Hulu (I didn’t learn about cwtv.com until much later), and it was at this point that I really started to dive into the fandom. Now that I was caught up, I was able to look up fandom content as I pleased without worrying about spoilers. I guess you could say this is when the obsession truly kicked in.

As I came upon my teen years, Supernatural became my life. I started requesting even more Supernatural merchandise as birthday gifts, Christmas presents, and everything in between, and I would wear the gifts I got anywhere I could. Within a few months, I discovered the world of fan fiction, and within a year, I grew confident and excited enough to start writing my own. I started watching video compilations not just of the show, but of the cast--behind the scenes videos, bloopers, convention videos, and so much more. I joined Facebook groups about the show and finally started interacting with other fans, making all kinds of friendships along the way.

On top of that, as the tenth season came to a close with no signs of the show stopping, my mom finally caved in to my babbling and excitement and started watching the show with me. We started back at the Pilot (which, for me, was probably about my fifth re-watch at that point), and we made it all the way to about mid-season five just as the eleventh season was getting ready to air.

And then a truly amazing thing happened.

For my 16th birthday, that same amazing mother bought me tickets to the Supernatural Convention in Chicago.

To put it lightly, I was excited. Very excited.

On the weekend of September 9th, 2016, just a week before my birthday, I got to meet the Supernatural cast for the first time. And that convention experience was one of the best things that has ever happened to me.

When we were on our way to the convention, I was really just excited that I’d finally get to meet these celebrities--these HOT celebrities--that I’d seen on the big screen for the last few years. At this point, they were basically idols to me, and even having the chance to see them in person was the best thing I could’ve asked for. But when I got to that convention, I was hit with something even better than I could’ve hoped for.

I say all the time that the SPN Family is a different fandom than any other. There’s a special feeling throughout our fandom that, as someone who is in multiple fandoms, I have not been able to feel anywhere else. When I try to explain that to people, nobody gets it. Even my mom, when I first started talking about it, kind of shrugged it off like it was nothing. But when we got to that convention, she felt it too. The air is different. The second you walk into a room of fellow Supernatural fans, you feel comfortable. You feel welcome.

That first convention, my mom didn’t really come with me to the panels. She took some photo ops with me, but being as far behind as she was, she didn’t want to spoil things for herself too much, so I spent the majority of the convention by myself, at a mere fifteen years old. But I never felt scared or alone or apprehensive. I made friends immediately. The people I was sitting next to, the people I stood in line with, basically anyone I came in contact with struck up a conversation with me, and it would end with Facebook usernames, Twitter handles, or even phone numbers being exchanged to contact each other in the future. It was insane. I’d never been in an environment like that before, and I loved it. And the openness didn’t stop there.

When it came time to meet the actual members of the Supernatural cast, they were just as kind and wonderful to talk to. At every panel, the guests were so eager to interact with fans, and many of them even stepped off the stage to come say hi to fans who were in line to ask them questions. Even the three main stars, Jensen, Jared, and Misha--who had to stay on the stage for security reasons--did everything they could to bond with fans and make them smile or laugh, and it was beautiful. And that transcended beyond the panels.

That Sunday, my mom and I had a photo op with Jensen and Jared, and let me tell you, I was crazy nervous. I mean, these were huge celebrities and people that I really looked up to, and I was about to get a photo with them. Plus, Jensen was my very first celebrity crush and all-time favorite actor at the time (he still is, to be honest). The whole thing was crazy nerve-wracking.

After standing in line for a bit, it was finally our turn, and as my mom and I stepped up, and I turned to Jensen to tell him what we wanted for the photo, I completely froze up. My brain told me to say: “We want to do a squishy hug photo.” But what came out instead was something more along the lines of “hug please photo hug?” To say the least, I was blushing with embarrassment for several hours afterwards. But despite my  nerves and fangirling, Jensen just smiled at me, and he gave me a little chuckle, and said: “sure thing, sweetheart”, which, of course, made me fall apart even more. Nonetheless, the photo happened, and at the end of it all, Jensen gave me one more reassuring little rub on the back, plus a second hug and a last smile before we headed off and away from the duo.

It took me hours to process the whole thing, but at the end of it all, I was so happy and relieved.

Jensen could’ve been cold. He could’ve given me a weird look for freaking out so much. He could’ve even just done the picture and gotten it over with. But he didn’t. He went the extra mile to make sure I knew that my nerves were okay, and they were understandable, but that he wasn’t judging, and he was okay with it. And that really says something.

After that, I went to a convention every year (excluding this year, for obvious reasons). I’ve been to four conventions in all, and every single year, the experience has only gotten better, because I’ve gotten more confident and comfortable around the actors--all because of that special energy.

In 2017, I was picked to sing karaoke with several of the actors from the show...on stage...in front of a huge crowd of Supernatural fans. For those of you who know me pretty well, you know that I have terrible stage fright when it comes to singing in front of people. I get super nervous, and the nerves just get higher with bigger crowds. But that night, to my surprise, I was great. Not only did I sing the classic “Wanted Dead or Alive” in front of hundreds of people, but I got to sing and dance with some of my favorite actors--and I was confident about it. When I was on that stage, dancing with the actors and singing with the fandom, I felt good.

It wasn’t until long after I was done that it hit me what had just happened, and I couldn’t believe it. All of my years of performing in theater productions and talent shows, and I had never been as confident as I had been on that karaoke night. I still have the video on my phone, and I smile at it in disbelief every time I watch it.

My confidence only grew from there. In 2018, I decided to submit to the convention’s fandom music video contest. I spent many hours and many days putting together an edit for Team Free Will 2.0. I was super particular about the timing--beats had to hit scene changes exactly right, lyrics had to line up with the scenes being shown, and I really wanted to tell a good story. When I finally finished the edit, I showed it to my dad--who’s been doing films his entire life--to get his opinion, and he was super impressed. Even though he had stopped watching the show around Season 11 (luckily, my mom was caught up at this point, so she and I were able to watch it together), he really loved what I had done with the edit. (He actually wound up loving it so much that he asked me to edit several projects for him later, including a music video, film production, and theater trailer, opening a door for me in life--one I never would’ve found without Supernatural.)

I submitted it to the Denver convention, and months later, when I was finally able to attend said convention in August of 2018, I was nervous, but excited. As my convention experience went on, I kind of forgot that I had submitted an edit, instead enjoying my time with my new Supernatural friends, the actors, and, now that she was caught up, my mom. But on the third day, they announced the winner, and to be perfectly honest, I didn’t hear what name they said, but we all kind of assumed that it hadn’t been me, which was a little disappointing, but I didn’t let it get me down. But then, while I was talking to my friend, I heard the tell-tale notes of the opening of “This is Me”--the song I had used for the edit--and my head whipped to the screen faster than it ever has for anything. Sure enough, in the #1 spot, was my music video edit.

Needless to say, I kind of lost my mind. I ran up to the front to claim my certificate--including the gift certificate for $100 of Supernatural merchandise--and couldn’t stop jumping up and down. And my friends that I’d made at the convention that year were jumping right along with me. It was a beautiful moment.

By the time the 2019 Chicago convention rolled around, I had grown really comfortable with the whole cast, crew, and fandom, and 2019 was one of my best experiences yet. I submitted another video edit and got second place. I sang the Ghostbusters theme (Hillywood style, of course) with a friend at karaoke night. I even managed to ask every actor a question at their panels without stuttering, even bantering back and forth with a few of them. At autograph tables, I managed to have full-fledged conversations with some of the actors, and at my photo op with Jensen and Jared, I actually told both of them exactly what we wanted to do for the picture without stuttering over my words.

In any other fandom, I don’t think I would’ve been able to do that. But the actors and the fans make that entire convention so comfortable and easy to get through, no matter how nervous you are, and that’s one of the many things I love about this show.

Sadly, though, there was also something else that happened in 2019.

On March 22nd, 2019, Jensen, Jared, and Misha made the announcement that all Supernatural fans were hoping would never come. On Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and everything in between, Jensen Ackles said the words we’d all been fearing: “Though we’re very very excited about moving into our fifteenth season, it will be our last.”

I was in Europe when I found out--Barcelona, to be specific--and to say that the news put a damper on my vacation would be an understatement. I was in tears, and I know many of my fellow Supernatural fans were too. This show had always struggled with ratings, but it had always pushed through, hitting milestone after milestone. So when the news finally came that it would be coming to a close, after a whopping 327 episodes, it shocked us all.

But even knowing it was ending, the cast, crew, and entire fandom were quick to note that it would never be far away. While the Winchester brothers would take their final ride in (what was supposed to be) May of 2020, it didn’t mean that the fandom would die. While news spread from actors to fans to, frankly, the entire world, we all rallied together, knowing that, as Jensen put it so well, “the show might end, but what it has built, this will never end”.

So we prepared for the end. I did my ten day countdown leading up to the premiere, and as the cast counted down each of their lasts on social media, we counted down each of our lasts watching the show.

And then 2020 happened, and everything changed. COVID-19 shut everything down, including production on Supernatural, and with only two episodes left for the cast to film (plus four that still needed post-production), it looked like Supernatural wasn’t gonna be able to end after all. They aired the completed first thirteen episodes of the season, and then it went on hiatus. I think, at the time, a lot of us were worried. What if something happened? What if they weren’t able to finish? What if, after fifteen years, the show had to be cancelled because of a pandemic?

But Supernatural has never given up, and the pandemic was no exception. For the cast and crew, this was just another obstacle in the long line of obstacles that Supernatural has made it through over the years. And in August of 2020, Jared and Jensen went back to set--along with several other actors--and finished the Winchesters’ long legacy. And on October 8th, 2020, Season 15.5 began airing on the CW, and our long goodbye to a show we’ve all loved for years started all over again.

And now, here we are. After two years of wondering, dealing with the end of an era from the comfort of my own home, I’m finally back in the convention hall, and more eager than ever. 

I’m sure you’re wondering why all of this even matters. I just gave you a complete rundown of the Supernatural timeline from the day I started it, and I haven’t even gotten to the point. So, here’s my point.

This is what my life has been for the last ten years. I was eleven years old when I finally discovered Supernatural, and now I’m twenty one, and my life has changed so much.

Supernatural has taught me things that no other elements of my life possibly could. It’s brought out parts of my personality that I never would’ve discovered otherwise.

Supernatural has made me who I am today.

Supernatural has gotten me more involved on social media, even going so far as to create my own content to share.

Supernatural has influenced other things I watch. Now, I try to find shows, movies, and even books that have some of the same themes as this show because I love them so much.

Supernatural got me connected with GISH, which helped me feel more comfortable going out of my comfort zone and being a little (okay, a lot) weird. 

Supernatural made me proud to be a fangirl, giving me the chance to express my interests publicly and feel free from judgment.

Supernatural gave me some amazing new friendships, and strengthened the relationships I already had with friends and family.

Supernatural brought out my creative side. From fan fiction writing, to photo collages, to video editing, this show has given me more ways to express myself than I ever could’ve hoped, and it’s opened so many doors for me in the process.

Supernatural has taught me so many lessons and mantras that I will cherish and keep with me forever. Between never giving up, spreading love and kindness, knowing that family always has your back, and not being afraid to be who you are, the show and its cast have given me confidence and strength that I will never forget.

For those of you out there who still think that Supernatural is “just a show”, this is what I present. When I first started Supernatural, I thought the same thing. But over the years, it has become so much more to me than that, and I know that the entire fandom agrees.

With Supernatural ending, a small piece of everyone in the fandom is ending with it, but deep down, we all know that this show will always be with us, and the legacy it’s leaving behind is something that will never be forgotten.

Supernatural has been through a lot, just like it’s two main characters; but, like Sam and Dean, it has never given up, and it has saved so many people’s lives in the process.

I feel so honored to have been even a small part of such an incredible journey.

Thank you, Supernatural.

Thank you, Supernatural cast and crew.

Thank you for making your fifteen years in this world matter.

Thank you for teaching all of us what it means to be human.

Thank you for showing us that we can continue to fight for ourselves and others no matter what the world throws at us.

Thank you for making every single one of us feel special and worth something.

You have changed my life, and the lives of so many others, more than you can possibly imagine by teaching us all that we truly can “carry on”.

On September 13th, 2005, an era began.

On November 19th, 2020, that era ended.

But its legacy will last forever.

“No doubt, endings are hard. But then again, nothing ever really ends, does it?”

#supernatural #spn family #spn family forever #spn #fandom #love #i love this fandom #and this show #so freaking much #thank you supernatural #thank you