#enbyphobia tw

[oh-my-im-ply]

This is another post which isn't completely ply focused, but I want to take a second to point out the overlap between people who are transmisic and people who exclude/invalidate mspec lesbians.

Last week, I made a post where I mentioned being a polysexual lesbian, and I made a few mspec lesbian pride flags. Yesterday, someone asked if I was polysexual or a lesbian.

On this blog, we have rules for interaction, as well as rules for mods to follow. At the very top, we have a rule against exclusion and invalidation towards good faith identities, and a rule against bigotry and dogwhistles. However, we will answer questions when they may have been asked in good faith.

So, I answered with this:

Both. I'm attracted to many genders, but not binary men, so I find that polysexual and lesbian both describe my orientation well. Other people may identify as a polysexual lesbian for other reasons.

After I answered, the mask came off, and they started being transmisogynistic and nonbinary-exclusionary, and weaponized the existence of bimisia against me. I deleted their comments and blocked them last night, so I can't copy what they said word for word, but I will repeat their key notes under the cut.

CW: bi erasure, exorsexism/nonbinary-erasure, transmisogyny, mentions of genitalia

"This is what people mean when they talk about bi erasure. You're erasing bi people."

This is a complete misunderstanding of what bi erasure even means. Bi erasure is when you ignore (the existence of) bi people, or outright deny their existence. These are some examples of bi erasure:

Erasing or ignoring bi history.

Saying that bi people need to just "pick a side."

Saying that bi people are secretly straight/secretly gay.

Saying that bi is just "a transitional orientation" or "a phase."

Redefining the broad definition of bisexuality without the consent of the bi community, especially with the intent of telling people that they "aren't really bisexual" or replacing the bi label.

Saying that "everyone is a little bit bisexual," especially with the intent of erasing bisexuality as a distinct category. This can also be a form of erasure against people who aren't bisexual.

Note that "identifying as something other than bi" is not a form of bi erasure, even if you might "technically" fit the definition... Because that is a matter of personal identity.

But do you know what is a form of bi erasure? Erasing bi history. Mspec lesbians (particularly bi lesbians), have existed for decades. It is not a new identity, and bi women and enbies have a right to identify their attractions to women as lesbian attraction if they wish to. The exclusion of bi people from the lesbian label began as a form of bi erasure. It happened because of separatism and political lesbianism, and an idea that attraction to men "tainted" people, or was a "betrayal" to feminism. It happened because of bimisia.

The word "lesbian" has served as an umbrella term synonymous to "sapphic" for over half a century. You want sources? Here you go.

Miller, Trish. Lavender Woman, Vol. 2, No. 5. Lavender Woman Magazine, 1973. "What is a lesbian? To me, a lesbian is a woman-oriented woman; bisexuals can be lesbians. A lesbian does not have to be exclusively woman-oriented, she does not have to prove herself in bed, she does not have to hate men, she does not have to be sexually active at all times, she does not have to be a radical feminist." Ferguson, Ann. Patriarchy, Sexual Identity, and the Sexual Revolution. Signs: Journal of Women in Culture and Society, 1981. "Lesbian is a woman who has sexual and erotic-emotional ties primarily with women or who sees herself as centrally involved with a community of self-identified lesbians whose sexual and erotic-emotional ties are primarily with women; and who is herself a self-identified lesbian."....."[My definition] defines both bisexual and celibate women as lesbians as long as they identify themselves as such and have their primary emotional identification with a community of self-defined lesbians." Kafele, Dajenya Shoshanna (1991). Bisexual Lesbian. Archived from the original on July 25, 2022. Queen, Carol A.. Strangers at Home: Bisexuals in the queer movement,. 1992. "A great many bisexual women, particularly those who are feminist and lesbian-identified, have felt both personally and politically rejected and judged by the separatist sisters." Kafele, Dajenya Shoshanna. "Which Part of Me Deserves to Be Free?". Bisexual Politics: Theories, Queries, & Visions. New York : Haworth Press, 1995. ISBN 9781560249504. "Personally, I am unable to separate out the various ways that I am oppressed (as a woman, as an African American, as a bisexual lesbian, as an impoverished single mother) and say that one oppression is worse than the other, or that I desire one form of liberation more than another." Wyeth, Amy. "Don't Assume Anything". Bi Women: The Newsletter of the Boston Bisexual Women's Network. Vol. 5, No. 2, 1995. "Unfortunately, many of my experiences as a lesbian-identified bisexual woman have said to me that having an appearance or demeanor that diverges from the expected means I will not be accepted as truly belonging in the lesbian community. Despite my attendance at gay pride parades, dollars spent at gay resorts and in support of gay causes, and numerous attempts to participate in gay and/or lesbian groups and volunteer events, I have often felt unaccepted by this community." Holleb, Morgan Lev Edward. The A-Z of Gender and Sexuality. Jessica Kingsley Publishers, 2019. ISBN 9781784506636. "LESBIAN — A woman who is sexually or romantically attracted to women. Lesbian can mean women who are attracted exclusively to other women, but it is also a broader term for women and femmes who are attracted to other women and femmes. This includes bisexual and pansexual women, asexual women who are romantically attracted to women, and non-binary people who identify with womanhood." Lesbian. The Trans Language Primer. Archived from the original on October 22, 2021.

Does this mean bi people have to identify as lesbians, or "aren't actually" bi, or can't just identify as bi? Obviously not, and I never said that was the case. That would be bi erasure, because that's policing bi people's identities and forcing them under labels that they may not want to be included under. But in the circumstance that a bi person also identifies as a lesbian, they have every right to do so. Bi-inclusive definitions of lesbianism have existed for at least 51 years, and still exist today.

"Attraction to men, binary or not, means you're not a lesbian."

See above for why the lesbian identity is not always dependent on a lack of attraction to men, binary or not. But lets focus on the nonbinary part specifically:

Nonbinary people can people included in lesbianism and lesbian attraction if they want to be. Yes, that includes all nonbinary genders. Even if attraction to men inherently disqualified a person from lesbianism, nonbinary genders cannot be confined to binary gender rules (even when they're aligned with binary genders) because they're nonbinary. Treating nonbinary genders like they're "functionally the same as binary genders" is a form of nonbinary erasure, regardless of gender alignment.

Whether nonbinary people are included in lesbianism or not is entirely up to each individual nonbinary person regarding their own identity. It is not dependent on the gender label used; it is dependent on how each nonbinary person feels about it on an individual level.

The implication that manhood inherently dominates and erases the rest of a person's identity is also troubling. If you accept that nonbinary people can be included in lesbianism, you must also accept that nonbinary men can be included in lesbianism. A nonbinary man is still nonbinary; their manhood doesn't erase that.

As a pangender lesbian, I've had to deal with the experience of people not only erasing my enbyhood, but my womanhood as well, because they think my manhood is the only relevant aspect of my identity. This is misogynistic and exorsexist, plain and simple, and people use this misogyny/exorsexism to tell me that I'm not a lesbian.

With all of that said, nonbinary people (of any gender alignment) are not always comfortable being included in lesbianism. This is why I describe myself as both polysexual and a lesbian; the polysexual part of my orientation acknowledges that my attraction to enbies can't always be described with my more binary-aligned labels.

And funnily enough, while some people tell me that I can't be a lesbian and can only be polysexual, other people tell me the opposite. So clearly, there isn't a consensus on which label is "correct" for me.

"If it has a dick, you can't be a lesbian."

This is just blatant mask off transmisogyny, and it's the main reason I blocked them. Do I even need to explain what's wrong with this? Even under a strictly monosexual definition of lesbianism, this statement is just false. Being attracted to people with penises does not equal being attracted to men. If a lesbian is exclusively attracted to women, including women with penises, that lesbian is attracted to only one gender and is not bisexual or mspec.

Any gender can have a dick. Lesbians can have dicks. Women can have dicks. The presence of a penis or lack thereof is not a defining trait of lesbianism, nor monosexuality. And for fuck's sake, maybe don't call your hypothetical trans woman "it"??

"Mspec lesbian" does not mean "lesbian who is attracted to vaginas and penises," and if you think that's what it means, you need to educate yourself. Yes, this includes any people who might identify as an mspec lesbian because of that transmisogynistic definition.

This blog is an inclusive space. If you come in here to spew bigoted or exclusionary nonsense, expect to be blocked. Think before you speak, and please read our rules.

#Mod Kylo #not ply centric #polysexual #polyromantic #ply #ply lesbian #mspec lesbian #bi lesbian #pan lesbian #omni lesbian #lunian #bi history #transmisogyny #transmisogyny tw #exorsexism #exorsexism tw #bi erasure #bi erasure tw #transmisia #transmisia tw #transphobia #transphobia tw #enbyphobia #enbyphobia tw #enbymisia #enbymisia tw #monosexism #monosexism tw #text post #gif

[thedepressedweasel]

Gender reaffirming healthcare is NOT child abuse; y'all are just a bunch of transphobic and enbyphobic idiots!

#terfs transphobes and exorsexists/enbyphobes either keep scrolling or block me because either way i'm not in the mood for your stupid shit #child abuse #trans issues #tw transphobia #transphobia tw #tw enbyphobia #enbyphobia tw #enbyphobia #tw exorsexism #exorsexism tw #exorsexism #queerphobia #trans rights are human rights #nonbinary rights are human rights #protect trans kids #gender affirming care #protect nonbinary kids #terfs don't interact #terfs don't touch #terfs don't derail #terfs fuck off forever

[silly-himbim]

"Misgendering fictional trans characters is not bad because they aren't real—" Shut the fuck up! Bigotry against fictional characters is still bigotry. The fictional characters won't be affected by it because obviously they aren't real but real, non-fictional trans people will be affected by it

#Mostly talking about some MatPat bootlicker trying to justify the fact he misgenders Kris Frisk and Chara from UTDR #They all go by they/them #my posts #transphobia tw #enbyphobia tw #misgendering tw

[rainbowlack]

for context i have a big neon sign on my base that says "TRANS RIGHTS"

this interaction got me banned for 1 day btw

#thankfully i was already taking screenshots when i was hit by the banhammer lmao #roblox #self post #transphobia tw #enbyphobia tw #ableism tw #ableist slurs

[the-irken-pony]

If a character using they/them pronouns means that their gender is open to interpretation then you should still use they/them for the character because by using she/her or he/him you're imposing your own interpretations on people who might interpret the character as a different gender and that's not fair to them.

#mine #random #shitpost #enbyphobia tw #ask to tag

[marzaid]

The infantalization of trans masculine people is fucking ridiculous. Yall will literally look at a cis person and call them hot and sexy and handsome and beautiful but the second a trans person wears the same damn thing they're "precious" and "cute". Regardless of your intentions you don't see us as adults but precious smol beans to protecc until we get too masculine and then we're the enemy and gross and evil because we've turned too close to man for your liking. In your eyes trans masculine people are just confused women playing dress up with gender until we go too far masculine that you can no longer get away with considering us soft and smol and cute. And so many of you say you support trans people yet still refuse to see trans masculine adults as whole ass adults.

#personal #trans #nonbinary #trans masculine #transphobia tw #enbyphobia tw #i dont have the fuckin spoons to expand upon this #so if anyone has anything to add pleaae feel free #i know theres a term for this but i cant think of it right now #between my anger over this and just general brain bs i cant think

[cursedpinterest]

idk about the rest of yall but ive never gotten so high i disrespect nonbinary people.

#pinterest #pinterest comments #comments #transphobia tw #nbphobia tw #enbyphobia tw

[oftatteredwings]

⸻  NICK ROBINSON. HE/THEY / have you ever heard of RADIOACTIVE by imagine dragons, well, it describes EVAN PHILLIPS to a tee! the twenty-eight year old, and BARTENDER AT THE WOLFE’S DEN was spotted browsing through the stalls at portobello road market last sunday, do you know them? would you say HE/THEY is/are more quick-tempered or more BROADMINDED instead? anyway, they remind me of a fresh start, running away from almost everything, tobacco stained nails, an honest smile and scuffed up timberland boots, maybe you’ll bump into them soon! 

time in notting hill ; 9 years.

tw: body dysmorphic disorder, alcohol abuse, violence, enbyphobia

ABOUT.

Name: Richard Evan Phillips Age: Thirty-eight Date of Birth: 10th May 1995 Birthplace: Mayfair, London, UK Occupation: Bartender at the Wolfe’s Den Romantic/sexual orientation: Biromantic/bisexual

Evan, or Richard as he was known then, was brought up in London’s Mayfair to a family that had more money than they knew what to do with. Every single one of the Phillips children was spoiled beyond belief, growing up thinking that they could have whatever they wanted. It didn’t make for the most polite of people.

High school age meant Eton and the point in Evan’s life where they began to start questioning things about themselves. They didn’t feel entirely comfortable in their skin, but the place they were living now probably wasn’t the best place to voice that.

So instead, he acted out, became callous and cruel, developed quite the attitude —- something he had very much picked up from his father. He used his money for absolutely everything and as a way to get ahead in life.

In the end it didn’t work, it wasn’t the person that Evan wanted to be, so instead they began to focus on their school work.

By the time he reached sixteen, he’d found a new passion: partying. Okay, not exactly partying, more drinking himself into  oblivion. He would be left unconscious ( as good as dead ) by friends, who didn’t care for him, only for his money. It was no life, not really. He drank to forget, to curb the confusing thoughts swimming around in his head.

Their destructive behaviour continued on over a couple of years. Word getting back to their teachers, senior staff and his parents, trouble following them absolutely everywhere.

Things got out of hand shortly after that and nights out ended up violent. His friend was caught up in a lot of unsavoury stuff and Evan found themselves in a mess, the police knocking on his family home’s door. Shortly after that his parents began to pull away, there was talk of his trust fun being cut off.

During the Easter holidays that followed, they made the choice to speak to their family about some of the thoughts they’d been having while away, the confusion about their gender that seemed to be taking over. Rather quickly they were shut down, both of Evan’s parents keen to move the subject on. There was no support there.

By summer an incident and a major misunderstanding during a night out left him with someone else's blood on his hands. He was kicked out of Eton, his was kicked out of his home, trust fund taken away entirely. For his father this was the perfect excuse to get rid of the child who went against everything that he believe in. Quite simply, Evan was no longer wanted.

For a short while they lived from couch to couch before eventually settling down in their cousin, Andy’s place, very gradually making a new life for themselves. They’ve been in Notting Hill ever since.

There is still a small part of him that screams spoilt rich kid, but he is trying to break away from that, to really discover who he is —- something that finally seems to be working now he’s twenty-eight.

WANTED CONNECTIONS.

- siblings (0/4). - cousin who took evan in. ( andy imanuel. ) - roommate. ( rory conor. ) - close friends. - old school friends from eton. - exes.

#✧ evan ( about ) #nottinghillintro #body dysmorphic disorder tw #alcohol abuse tw #violence tw #enbyphobia tw

[roxie-really-hates-meanies]

If you’re using Quora, this antisemitic moron named BASED LIGHTYEAR bullied and harassed me and called me an “autistic piece of shit” in a mean-spirited way (and even deliberately misgendered me, an actual nonbinary and genderfluid person as a “she” in his process). He’s not only an antisemitic asshole, but he’s also violently ableist, enbyphobic and transphobic. If you’re using Quora and you see him, please report and block his ass now! Because he’s literally going to get someone killed!

#free blocklist #bullying #harassment #enbyphobia tw #tw enbyphobia #exorsexism #antisemitism tw #antisemitism #ableism #transphobia #report and block #signal boost

[thee-radio-host-is-a-kookaburra]

me watching cis women on twitter say shit like “cuntboys and theyfabs are fascist oppressor scum tme mra. they can all go to hell with their faux masculinity. all of them are sensitive invaders of the trans community god i fucking hate them. i’m not transphobic tho btw i support trans women!!!” and then be congratulated for what progressive allies they are

#you are literally just transphobic #max squawks #anti terf #anti radfem #transandrophobia #anti transmasculinity #gender essentialism #exorsexism #enbyphobia #nbphobia #tw cb slur #anti tirf

[umlewis]

lewis hamilton attends the gq creativity awards in new york city - april 11, 2024 📷 dimitrios kambouris / getty

#lewis hamilton #f1 #formula 1 #fic ref #fic ref 2024 #not a race #2024 not a race #between japan and china 2024 #gq creativity awards #gq creativity awards 2024 #hunter schafer #tw enbyphobia

[thedepressedweasel]

Earlier this morning, my DNA contributors dragged me to this Jewish cemetery somewhere in Queens, whereupon I was forced to spend several hours in that place and when I said that I was bored, my sperm donor yelled at me that “family is the most important thing ever, family always comes first, blah blah blah” and then after all was said and done, they tried to force their Jewish traditions down my throat by forcing me to wash my hands without soap and then letting them air-dry for a few minutes. Then when they drove me to Woodcliff Lake and showed me a couple of houses, my egg donor called me “Syusya” and when I asked her why she called me that, my DNA contributors took it the wrong way and took turns screaming at me. Then on our way back to my sperm donor’s cousin’s house at Englewood Cliffs and my sperm donor kept deliberately deadnaming me and when I asked him to stop doing that, he immediately took turns with my egg donor screaming at me and when we finally got out of the car, they literally told me to die! I was crying for the whole day and didn’t want to go to my sperm donor’s remaining aunt and uncle’s apartment in Guttenburg, but they forced me to go anyway and my sperm donor threatened to send me back to my evil grandmother prematurely.

So yeah, I really hate family. Seriously, fuck all blood ties! When someone really loves you, cares about you and genuinely wants to help you and be there for you, then yeah, they’re your family. Flesh and blood mean nothing to me!

#i hate my parents #i hate my mother #i hate my father #bad parenting #child abuse #enbyphobia tw #tw enbyphobia #actually nonbinary #ex-jew #abusive mothers #abusive fathers #abusive parents #abusive family #actually pagan #actually wiccan #actually abused #actually traumatized #trauma #ptsd #cptsd

[seal-berry]

real cool to see theyfab shit on my feed guys. I know that its an internet brain poison thing that irl has such little impact. I get that human nature is that when we are harmed we want to spitefully hit back where it hurts. but the lack of understanding/lack of caring that using the word theyfab WILL hurt others that you dont intend, especially on a site where the posts are the content and there is a large, mostly silent audience, sucks. It's so much the energy of like "I was bullied, and now I get to be the bully" as opposed to "I was hurt but I want to limit how that hurt affects others as I heal." And no, I'm not asking for people to be a perfect victim, but there are consequences for instigating and perpetuating hurt. People say the term only applies to those who weaponize their agab, and I find that argument weak considering I've already seen the term used against people literally the exact same way trender and tucute were and are. I think a lot of the use of the term is social posturing to feel good about being in the in-group. I get why, because many trans people are isolated and desperate for a place to belong, but doing it via throwing others under the bus makes things worse for everyone. The solution to transmisogyny will never be enbyphobia, idk what to tell you :/

#tw misgendering #and i get that the argument is at its core like. transfemmes get so much worse shit than everyone! let them have this!! #if the world and wholeass community throws u under the bus all the time like. why shouldnt you do some bus throwing #and yeah the transmisogyny is real as fuck and awful and i get that the people doing the worst of it are untouchable #but if you choose to respond to that by misgendering others #then you have crossed the line to become a perpetuator #fuck trans gatekeeping fuck purity testing and FUCK YOU if youre still gonna use that word #trans discourse #theyfab shit #transmisogyny #enbyphobia #theyfab

[salad-juice-enjoyer]

/sarcasm

No dude you gotta trust me this VN is actualy good. Yes it was by channers to spite another VN that contains a non-binary MC. Yes the happy endings are the one where you successfully convince said MC to detransion and the ones where you don't are the school shooting ending and the future loser ending. But you gotta believe me bro, it was made with actual love and effort and stuff. /s

#Isaac babbles #GVH #goodbye volcano high #snoot game #tw transphobia #tw enbyphobia #tw exorsexism #tw school shooting mention #And also if I accidentally stepped over a boundry as a cis person‚ lmk #I wish all channers a very face consequences for your actions #god i'm so tired #greatest hits

[trans-enby-culture-is]

Enby culture is not being able to go a day without seeing enby-phobia from not only cishet transphobes but enby-phobic binary trans folk 🙁

#109

#trans enby culture #nonbinary #enby #tw enbyphobia #enbyphobia

[bottlecapsandotherthings]

I might cry, possibly need a break from Tumblr to sleep off these awful feelings.

Just came across an extremely transphobic, TERF, enbyphobic account.

They tagged every post with the words "non binary is fake".

I am NOT fake....

#tw transphobes #tw enbyphobia #i want to cry #why....