#enbyphobia

[gay-otlc]

If a nonbinary person shows the slightest hint of masculnity they get shoved in the boy box, where they will be hated either for being a "trans man" or a "cis man invading queer/trans spaces" based on their (assumed) agab. And then if a nonbinary person shows the slightest hint of femininity they get shoved in the girl box, where they will be hated either for being a "trans woman" or a "cis woman invading queer/trans spaces" based on their (assumed) agab. And if a nonbinary person never ever shows any hints of femininity or masculinity, they are hated anyway and people demand they pick a box to be sorted into.

#nonbinary #i'm not nonbinary but this is what i have observed #enbyphobia #exorsexism

[just-your-average-tangerine]

I think the hardest part of being trans is the uncertainty.

Like, there's a new band I kind of like. They've only released a few songs, but I like those songs, and I like the bands style, so I followed them on Instagram to keep up with them. Neither member of the band is openly queer but many of their (young) fans talk about how their dynamic and their music fits with a popular gay ship. The band has really leaned into it and made content to appeal to that, so I feel confident in assuming they're decently gay friendly, at least. But said popular ship is from Harry Potter, so I don't feel at all confident that they're trans friendly. They haven't said or done anything specifically transphobic, but they haven't specifically said anything in support of trans people either. So it creates that uncertainty. Am I safe in this fan space? Am I wanted? Will I be accepted?

Even in queer spaces, it's the same story. I've been in queer spaces that claimed to be trans friendly. They have name tags and pronoun stickers and pins available to everyone, a trans flag on the wall. But most of the staff won't try to use the correct pronouns. And trans men aren't welcome in the queer men's group they run. And when they invite a group to do free haircuts, they won't cut trans men's hair because they "don't do women's haircuts."

It's like, I can go to pride with a trans flag and five different he/him buttons pinned to my chest, and I'll still get misgendered to my face.

Every time you want to be a part of something, you have to ask yourself

-do they accept trans people

-if so, is that acceptance limited and conditional

-do they accept trans people as a part of the group or do they allow trans people to be there but not a part of it, is it a "you can tag along but you're not one of us" situation. A "trans people can join but gay trans men are not "real" gay men and trans lesbians are not "real" lesbians" situation.

Every fucking thing is uncertain.

The tweet has long been deleted, but years ago, Laura Jane Grace tweeted something to the effect of 'do you think I don't know that everyone I admire would hate me'. And that it. That's the shape of it. You just have to live with the idea that there's a good chance anyone you look up to, would hate you.

And that eats at you.

It really does.

#transgender #trans #transphobia #transandrophobia #transmisogny #enbyphobia #queer #and sometimes even other trans people arent safe #op

[katrafiy]

Hiya tumblr! Let's have a talk about bioessentialist enbyphobia, transmisogyny, and how to make sure transfeminine people, enby or not, feel completely unsafe and unwelcome at your events. First take a look at this group description, and then lets get into it.

First some context. Those of you who know me know about the kinds of clubs I go to. This screenshot was taken from a local event page, and I've blocked out their name because in the months since this event was hosted the group has updated their description to be more inclusive.

Seeing that description, I avoided going to events hosted by that group.

"But Kat, why? You're a woman and it says women are allowed!"

It also implicitly lumps all nonbinary people who were assigned male at birth with men and calls them males.

So why is this a problem for me? Well, if this group sees all AMAB nonbinary people as "male" then it says a lot of things about the ways the see trans women.

Many, and I would venture to assume most, trans women know well the feeling of our womanhood treated as conditional, subject to immediate revocation without warning.

Spaces that are "Women and AFAB exclusive" are often rife with this, and often lead to a lot of really gross and abusive power dynamics where transfems get treated as second class to anyone who was assigned female at birth.

(Side note: Gretchen Felker-Martin did, I believe, a masterful job of portraying this sort of dynamic in her book Manhunt)

If you are a trans woman in one of these spaces, you quickly learn that you are on the thinnest of ice.

Laugh a little too loud? You're male.

Sit or stand a little too close? You're threatening.

Smile at the wrong person? You're making other people uncomfortable.

Transfems, in these spaces, quickly learn that standing up for ourselves in the face of flagrant abuse is verboten, and will be met with swift and decisive punishment and exile.

I personally don't like the word "theyfab" and don't use it. I'm writing this thread to hopefully help people better understand the social dynamics that were being addressed when that term was coined.

It was coined because transfems are forced to navigate a community of things like "afab only" apartment rentals.

It was coined because transfems constantly have to listen to other trans people implicitly describe us as disgusting, hideous freaks.

In short and in closing: consider that the reason why the term "theyfab" exists and "theymab" really doesn't probably lies somewhere in the fact that the sort of person who would call someone a "theymab" doesn't need to, because they *already* just call AMAB trans people "male".

#transmisogyny #disk horse #seriously though the afab only rental with the trans flag in the pictures #like you can just say you hate trans women its okay lots of other bigots agree with you and will cheer you on #enbyphobia #bioessentialism

[mrowmrowmrow9]

Microaggressions against non-binary people that you might be saying without realizing it

"All of my trans brothers & sisters"/"Do you have any brothers or sisters?"

"Every man, woman, and child" (referring to all people)

"Are you a boy or a girl?"/"Is it a boy or a girl?"

"Both men and women"

"The opposite gender"

"Boys and girls! Settle down!"

"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen"

"He or she"/"His or her"/"Him or her"

“Non-men”/“non-women” (bigender folk exist!)

Pleeeeeease stop saying these 🥰

Add your own if you have any!

What to say instead

P.S. OP is a neopronoun user and supports it/it’s folk, xenogenders, he/him lesbians and all forms of genderfuckery :)

#nonbinary #non-binary #enby #trans #transgender #lgbtq+ #binary-normativity #enbyphobia #microaggressions

[thee-radio-host-is-a-kookaburra]

was originally just gonna do this for intersex bc i'm intersex, but i decided to also make some for other groups also negatively effected by this

100% free to use 👍

#userbox #userboxes #intersexism #exorsexism #enbyphobia #intersectionality #intersectional feminism #anti radfem #anti tirf

[novascotiaducktoller]

grabs your face with both my hands. you guys understand that deconstruction of the binary means that the experience of one group does not automatically indicate the reverse experience of another group, right? like. if something happens to trans men it does not mean trans women experience the same but opposite. they are two separate groups who do not intrinsically replicate the experience of cis people. and nonbinary folks can have experiences that both and neither trans men and women have happen to them. the binary is false and so are all implications of it. tell me you understand this.

#word vomit #transandrophobia #transmisogyny #enbyphobia #exorsexism #PLEASE DOES ANY OF THIS MAKE SENSE. #charlie.txt

[ftmtftm]

*violently shakes other trans people while gripping them at the shoulders*

Cis people aren't going to accept you into their binary by undercutting and denying the experiences of other trans people! Cis people aren't going to accept you into their binary by undercutting and denying the experiences of other trans people! Cis people aren't going to accept you into their binary!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We're all "failed men" and "failed women" to a transphobic society!!! All of our deviations from white cishetero patriarchal norms are punished violently and with death sentences!!! Assimilation will not keep you safe!!! Breaking all your bones to contort yourself into a cis world view of gender that actively erases and denies the experiences of other demographics of trans people will never genuinely serve you, I'm sorry!!!

#this post applies to pretty much every trans discourse in existence #be it anti-trans fem anti-trans masc or anti-nonbinary #transmisogyny #transandrophobia #enbyphobia #transphobia #assimilationists are just joining the leopards eating peoples faces party #the leopards will come and eat your face some day #original post

[proudfreakmetarusonniku]

hate how people have started using transmasc and transfem as a new binary like. going from “are you a boy or a girl” to “are you boy aligned or girl aligned?” is not actually that much better for nonbinary people like thanks you’re including a small fraction of us but the rest of us are still just casually being excluded i guess. and now it’s just become a “all afab enbies are transmasc and all amab enbies are transfem” like personally if you called me transmasc I’d punch you

#enbyphobia #nonbinary #transneutral #vent

[chroniccoolness]

in general lately I've noticed a lot of enbyphobia revolving around the idea that's like "all nonbinary people are white skinny feminine they/them afabs who 'pass' seamlessly as cis women" with either the addendum "and are happy that way" or "and are sooo privileged that they're upset they 'pass' that way", finishing off with "...so, I don't have to care about them." and to that I have to say two things:

1. if you contribute to this, YOU are directly helping the erasure of fat, disabled, poc, amab, intersex, masc/androgynous, visibly trans, etc nonbinary people. YOU are directly contributing to the erasure of very real struggles nonbinary people face in schools, bathrooms, workplaces, and at the intersections of other forms of oppression. i don't usually address my posts directly to people, but if you do this shit, I AM talking about you. you are not *helping* nonbinary poc or disabled nonbinary people or fat nonbinary people or nonbinary butches or nonbinary transfems by stereotyping nonbinary people and using that stereotype to justify hating them. soul-search.

2. even if every nonbinary person on earth was white skinny femme and they/them (which theyre NOT, again)--they'd still deserve support?? and care?? within the community??? what are you on?? YES call out white/skinny/living in safer areas/etc nonbinary people out on racism, fatphobia, and other privileged things they might say or do... like you would with any other group. they're still queer and still deserve a space in the community.

#i dont even reeeally id as nonbinary anymore more multigender/genderqueer/transmasc #but the label doesnt matter nonbinary people are my people and i am not okay with the stuff im seeing. #nonbinary #trans #enbyphobia #transphobia

[textk4kira]

I've seen a bunch of posts explaining how nonbinary folks shouldn't be perceived as woman-lite and how AMAB nonbinary ppl are never accepted as nonbinary while AFAB nonbinary folks are always being affirmed for their gender identity.

As a demifem/demigirl, I feel like my gender identity is in a way, "woman-lite" or at least fem-aligned. It feels like many well-meaning trans folks and allies unintentionally exclude demigenders from the conversation, and it feels uncomfortable.

Also, the narrative that AFAB enbies are automatically accepted or affirmed, blatantly ignores the transphobia that AFAB enbies face especially if they are not slim, white or androgynous. This post isn't to dismiss or diminish the very real struggles AMAB enbies face, we should all stand together in solidarity.

We're fighting the same fight. To liberate ourselves as trans ppl and to end transphobia.

#nonbinary #demigender #demigirl #amab nonbinary #afab nonbinary #misgendering #enby #enbyphobia #transgender #transmisogny #transmasc #transfem #trans #lgbt #lgbtq community

[kaibascorpse]

honestly i get so frustrated sometimes with the emphasis placed on ‘passing’ in conversations abt trans issues. like, i am nonbinary. it is literally impossible for me to pass around most strangers, because most strangers don’t even have a concept of gender that includes my particular identity and expression. even people who are ‘accepting’ of nonbinary identities are still more often than not going to make assumptions about what’s in my pants, and use that to label me as ‘girl nonbinary’ or ‘boy nonbinary,’ even if they never say it out loud. there is no way for me to exist as myself in a way that doesn’t visibly identify me as having a queer gender. i couldn’t be ‘stealth’ even if i wanted to because society has no framework for accepting people like me without forcing me into some kind of binary.

i have absolutely nothing against trans people who pass/are stealth or who want to be some day - all i’m saying is that we need to do better by nonbinary and gnc folks when we discuss these things. we need to acknowledge the ways in which we are so often left out of conversations and frameworks entirely, or only included as an afterthought (and again, still often expected to ‘sort’ ourselves into binary categories.) we deserve better than that.

#this was prompted by seeing a poll that was like do you pass and are you out/stealth to most people? #and its just like. there is no option for me here. #not that i think a poorly worded poll is a huge issue i just think it reflects the more general issue of excluding nonbinary identities #even if its not intentional like. it still sucks to feel like im nothing more than an afterthought to most people. #just an outlier an anomaly etc #my posts #exorsexism #enbyphobia #trans issues #transandrophobia #<- not entiirely accurate but. its the only trans tag im active in and i do see this issue come up often in the transandrophobia discussion

[gay-otlc]

If you think a nblw person who was afab should identify as a lesbian rather than as straight, or a nblm person who was amab should identify as gay rather than as straight, you should maybe think about why.

#exorsexism #enbyphobia #straight nonbinary #enbyhet #idk it's just a bit suspicious when yall do this

[thee-radio-host-is-a-kookaburra]

Being queer doesn’t exempt you from being transphobic btw. If you use terms like “theyfab” or “pussy4pussy” gtfo of my blog. Parroting transphobic “transmascs/enbies are just girls” rhetoric isn’t the dunk you think it is.

#transphobia #i don’t think i need to explain why these are fucking gross terms to use #max squawks #transandrophobia #anti transmasculinity #exorsexism #enbyphobia

[goth-brushbug]

Bisexuals 🤝🏻 enbies having to put up with rampant -phobia and ppl telling them that it's a phase or a pipeline to their true sexuality/gender

#bisexual #bi #nonbinary #enby #lgbtqia #enbyphobia #biphopia #trans #transgender #queer

[baeddel-txt]

#baeddel #baeddels #baeddelism #ceterophobia #enbyphobia #exorsexism #nbphobia #fatphobia

[sometimesraven]

When Brianna was killed I couldn't log on to tumblr or facebook without seeing posts about her. There were vigils held locally for her.

Not even my local trans support group has said a word about Nex. I had to post about them myself. This silence is deafening. I'm exhausted.

#where is the energy for our masculine and nonbinary POC siblings #transandrophobia #enbyphobia #racism #transphobia #nex benedict #say their name #vent #and because tumblr's reading comprehension is piss poor #this post is not in any way implying we shouldn't have cared about brianna #i'm saying we should have the SAME care for ALL our murdered siblings #ESPECIALLY those who are marginalised in other ways too