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#don't underestimate the silly ones
brightlotusmoon · 4 months
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"A happy go lucky joyful comedian would never attempt suicide! It wouldn't be in his nature, he's not the type to go all emo and depressed!"
Oh, darlings. I know Robin Williams died when you were young, but hopefully someone would have explained to you that brains can get sick in ways that are still misunderstood. A comedic optimistic brain is no exception.
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earl-grey-love · 9 months
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Oh, the new card of S-tan and Barbs having a water fight is mad cute by the way.
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rudjedet · 2 years
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“First the king, now the vizier, and the general who did his best impression of a leech -- the only one she still missed in her game of quartets of administrative elite, was Senwosret.”
Sometimes the reason I don’t make any headway in my writing is that I’ll write a line like the above and snicker at it for ten minutes because I already know she’s going to meet Senwosret in 1.5 chapters
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crabussy · 2 years
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you guys would not believe the convo I just had with some of the sys (sunny, circe, moon, phoebe, francis, martin and jon)
we were in the living room of headspace discussing what stuff we should do while on holiday and a fucking. disembodied brain??? floats into the middle of the room??? and just hovers there and we're all freaked the fuck out and it just. becomes a full nervous system and them it has muscles and skin and clothes and boom. it was phoebe. WHAT THE FUCK. WHY WOULD SHE. WHAT. WHY.
turns out she was just having fun fucking with the dream-physics of headspace. later in the convo she was suddenly an autism creature after a brief confetti explosion and then she turned her hair into hatsune miku's hair. wtf is wrong with this girl. also british people (jon and martin) joined the convo and started being GAY IN FRONT OF ALL OF US. GROSS (it was cute actually)
#it was a good convo!!! today is a good day in the system ((: everyones getting along for once and things arent as fuzzy as usual :D#jon and martin were being GAY. moon was just Sitting There. phoebe butted in a lot but its ok we love her#circe is actually much wilder than I thought??? I'm not too close with her but I assumed she wasn't that silly but turns out shes bonkers#I underestimated your clownery circe. im sorry#also I get!! really nervous talking about this on main! because I've had really scary rubbish encounters with fakeclaimers in the past etc#so I kinda feel anxious when talking about the positive parts of being part of a system#because everyone on r/fakedisordercringe believes that plurality is a traumatic nightmare 100% of the time )):#its hard!! its REALLY difficult and sucky being a system.#of course it is we're 24 people sharing one body and 23 of us can't even be acknowledged#etc etc. it sucks its a disorder#BUT its also just an alternate way of existing as a human!! we have fun we make friends we make fun of each other and have good times.#mostly.#WOW. RANT. OOPS. but I just want to say that I want to share my experiences as part of a nutty crew of morons... a ragtag band of misfits..#I want to show you guys the positives. try and destigmatise this bitch!!!!! the negatives are there too and I will talk about them sometime#but for now. this was a really fun convo and I wanted to share it#robin shut up challenge#not gonna tag this as anything because I don't want anons telling me I'm making stuff up.#please trust me I've been told that dozens of times you really don't need to tell me#my professional psychiatrist/therapist believes I am a system. you are a stranger on the internet who has never met me. please refrain from#sending anons fakeclaiming#WOW I AM NERVOUS TODAY BOYS#dont be surprised if this post disappears
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lyneira · 1 year
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♡ "carry me pls" ♡
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-> how would the the genshin men prefer to carry you?
(A bit on the crack side and slightly suggestive, hehe)
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Bridal style
KAVEH, Zhongli, Ayato, Xiao, Dainsleif
It's simple, yet refined and romantic. Plus, they enjoy being able to see your cute face and all of its expressions while holding you. They could easily lean their forehead against yours and kiss you like this.
On their shoulders
ITTO, Venti, Gorou, Childe
For those who like this position, they either want to prove their strength, want you to be their lookout, or they just want to have fun with you!
Okay okay, hear me out on Venti and Gorou. I know they're rather smol in comparison to the others, but I think they'd like carrying you like this primarily because it's a fun position and also because they don't want to be underestimated. Venti would totally try to persuade you to wear a sheet over you both so that you could pretend to be a ghost or monster to scare people ehe 👻
Itto and Childe would have you on their shoulders so not only would they prove how strong they are, they could have you as their lookout, watching for any dangers up ahead or cool sights that you see. (Also, their head in between your thighs would be heaven for them 😏)
Piggyback
DILUC, Alhaitham, Scaramouche, Cyno, Albedo, Tighnari
They like this because it's the most efficient way to carry you. You're not blocking their view, he's holding you tight, you're holding onto him tight, he can easily run if needed without you being in the way.
The only "downside" that they'd see to this would be how you can easily tease them in this position. You might tease them by whispering softly into their ear, or leaving a peck on their cheek while you're at it 🤭
Carries you in front of them
THOMA, Heizou, Kaeya, Kazuha
I don't know how else to explain this position but think of the opposite of a piggyback ride (so a piggy-front ride? 🥴 sounds silly), or like a parent carrying their sleeping child.
They feel like this is the ultimate hug as you're wrapping BOTH your arms and legs around them. Lowkey treats you like their baby, patting your back with one hand to soothe you. They'd enjoy the intimacy of the position and would find the way you were clinging to them absolutely adorable.
Bonus:
Over their shoulder
Alhaitham, Itto, Diluc, Cyno, Childe
Be ready to become a sack of potatoes if you're misbehaving. This category is reserved for those who are tired of your squirming or teasing so they'd simply throw you over their shoulder.
Kick and whine all you want, they're not going to carry you any other way for your actions. They might also teasingly slap your booty if you don't quit whining.
Other than that scenario, if you guys were being chased, he'd see this as the quickest way to carry you. He'll grab you and go, like a fast-food order LOL
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a/n: gahh I honestly had a hard time categorizing them. I feel like many of them could be applied to multiple categories
© 2023 lyneira. PLEASE DO NOT COPY, PLAGIARIZE, OR REPOST MY WRITING ONTO OTHER PLATFORMS
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levitiquee · 6 months
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All that's left.
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“I know you’re there.”
Levi called out, startling you. You’ve been watching him from the side of the wreck, watching as the ghosts of your comrades appeared for one last time, one last salute. One last declaration of all they dedicated. One last goodbye.
And when Hange gave you a nod, you nodded back.
You two are all that's left.
You stayed out of his sight even after they disappeared, giving him the privacy to mourn. God knows he needed it. You didn’t think he had noticed your presence, but then again, who were you trying to fool? His extraordinary instincts were never to be underestimated.
Sighing, you pushed yourself to stand straight and stumbled forward. He glanced at you with the side of his eye. Ever resilient, ever strong, the cracks were so slight, just barely there. But you knew. You could always tell.
“Hi.” You mumbled. He stared at you as you dragged yourself in front of him, slightly limping.
“Nice of you to make it out alive.” He said.
“Who would’ve thought?” You shrugged.
“You made an ugly titan by the way.”
“I’m sure you would’ve looked charming.”
“Bet.”
You smiled. The conversation was so unbelievably normal. Here, in the wreckage of everything, all the corpses, smoke, blood and ruins, here you were, back to how it always was. It almost felt surreal. Almost as if you concentrated hard enough, all of it would go away and you’d find you and him back in the soggy cafeteria of the scout headquarters, back to bantering with him and arguing about silly little things that don't really deserve arguments but it’s you and Levi so of course it’d end up an argument.
You felt so old suddenly.
How come you ended up here? In this way?
And Levi looked so tired, you could cry. Hasn’t he given enough? Doesn’t he get to rest now?
“Does that..” You glanced down at his leg, the one he had spread out in front of him. It was clear it was beyond repair. The fabric of his pants were torn at the knee, from where it was crushed between the titan’s jaw, a bloody, mangled mess. “Does that hurt?”
“Not really, no.” His eyes went to where yours were. “Numbed down a while ago. Can’t feel shit really.”
You sighed. "Not very humanity's strongest anymore, huh?"
Levi raised an eyebrow. "Yeah?" He said. "Careful, I could still kick your ass."
"I'm sure."
You grinned. Then went ahead and dropped yourself beside him. He frowned.
“Shouldn’t we be getting up now?” He said. “Why are you getting all comfortable?”
“Why not?” You muttered, pulling your legs upto your chest, hugging them. “What’s it matter what we do or not? Armin’s the hot shit now, let him deal with shit.”
He didn’t answer, but he made no attempt to get up either. If anything, he looked more relaxed. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to spend the rest of your life here. After all, you were so tired, and you were sure he was too. This was as good as anywhere else would be.
Because there’s no home to return to anymore.
“Do you think there’s anything left of Hange to bury?” He suddenly said.
You shuddered. What do you answer to that?
And your head pounded so hard, you couldn’t really think. Far away, you could hear someone yelling at another someone, but you couldn’t bother to pay attention to the words. Armin and the others would figure something out surely.
You were exhausted.
“Say, Levi.” You said tiredly, nudging him slightly.
“What?”
“Wanna get married?”
Levi almost choked, he was suddenly all uptight, stiff as a board as he looked at you with wide eyes.
“What the fuck?” He asked, scowling. “Are you seriously gonna make jokes here? Here?”
“Not joking.”
You lifted up your head, tilting it to look at him. It was hard to tell whether he was annoyed or flustered. You’re not sure where the sudden boldness came from, but this is as good a time as any. Might as well. “You’re right. It’s a bad time to make jokes. So I’m dead serious.”
“No, you’re not.”
“I am.” You nodded, turning your expression very serious.
“You’re weird as fuck.” He sputtered out after a few attempts to speak. The tips of his ears were red, red as it always was whenever you used to jokingly suggest that he should date you. Except you weren’t really joking anymore. You haven’t been joking for a long, long time.
“I mean..” You closed your eyes. You were too tired to even feel embarrassed. “We’re the only ones left. Me and you. You’re all I have left, Levi. So, why not?”
He stared at you for a few seconds, gaping. Then he started shaking his head. “You’re insane.” He finally said.
“You’re just realizing that?”
“No.” He muttered. “You’re insane. And it’s rubbing off on me.”
He turned to you, peering at you with one good eye, pondering. And finally, he made up his mind.
“You’re insane. And I’m no fucking different.” He sighed. “I must’ve hit my head pretty damn hard because I’m actually considering this shit.”
You grinned. “Go on, say it. You like me.”
“Wrong. I tolerate you.”
“Good enough. You don’t tolerate a lot of people, so I’ll take it as I'm special.”
He sighed, turning away, hoping that’s enough to hide his heart from you. You were special to him, always. But you didn’t need to know that. He didn’t want you to know that. He didn’t know how to let you know that.
“Can you believe us?” He scoffed. “We’re practically sitting in a graveyard. Half the world’s ruined but then there’s us.”
“That’s fine. Let’s keep being us. The world can go fuck itself. Meanwhile, we can—”
“Do not finish that sentence.” He glared.
You stopped, a laugh breaking through. And you laughed so hard your stomach ached and there were tears lining in your eyes. And even Levi smiled, just the slightest, barely. A subtle quirk of his mouth.
“We’re insane.” You admitted. With that, you stood up, stumbling a little before you found your balance. You reached out your hand to Levi, who took it without question.
“Come on, Lev.” You pulled him up, letting him wrap an arm around you to brace himself. “Let’s go home.”
You were right, Levi thinks as he limps with you, letting you support him. It was nice to finally let himself lean on someone.
You two are the only ones left.
You’re all he has now.
The world has taken enough from him. He’s so tired of letting go.
And he’d be damned if he let you go too.
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hoonvrs · 6 months
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CHILD OF DIVORCE — l. heeseung
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PAIRING heeseung × fmr
DESC. yours and heeseungs breakup through the eyes of nishimura riki
GENRE angst, 3rd party perspective
WARNING mutual breakup, mention of parental issues, riki has attachment issues, he’s also irrational but aren’t we all
W. COUNT 0.8k
S. NOTES why did i have so much fun writing this
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to say riki considered you and heeseung his parents was an understatement.
he boy genuinely believed you were. so it's safe to say that when his heeseung hyung ( read: dad ) came home to their apartment late to their weekly boys' night and dropped the news, he was devastated.
“me and y/n broke up.“
riki could feel his whole world collapse, suddenly feeling ten again when his parents sat him down to tell him that his mum and dad were getting a divorce and dad was going to be moving back to his old city.
in hindsight, he should’ve consoled his hyung who didn’t look like he had just broken it off with his girlfriend of four years and the woman everyone believed he’d marry one day. he should've gone up to him like a good friend and given him a few words of comfort — maybe even a hug.
but instead, he felt anger. it was selfish, but he couldn’t realise his irrationality over the splitting feeling in his chest, and heeseung's reaction — or lack thereof — didn’t help but wedge a nail in the crack and hammer it down.
he couldn’t make out what the rest of their friends were saying, feeling all his senses suddenly muffle, giving his emotions nowhere to go but out, “what do you mean you broke up.”
the room suddenly felt colder. all their friends stopped talking and froze their gazes on him. seeing sunghoon from his peripheral, sending him a questioning look, but his vision tunnelled on the eldest, who was still standing near the entrance. “you can’t just break up, not now.”
confusion settled on the elder's face, overtly not expecting this reaction from him, “what do you mean i can't? it's my relationship, and we both ended it.”
riki was starting to feel antagonised, seeing faces look back and forth between him and the other, so he stood up in an attempt to size himself up, refusing to see the irrationality of his point. he felt like heeseung was being inconsiderate by breaking up something riki relied on without thinking of the others who'd be affected outside of the relationship.
everyone in their friend group was aware of his abnormal attachments, evident in the shirt he refuses to throw away because it was his father's, even if the fabric had more holes than not, or the two sizes too big shoes his sister gifted him, insisting he would ‘grow into them’ and now yours and heeseung's relationship.
healthy relationships weren't the norm in his life growing up, so by default, riki was hostile and withdrawn towards you the first few times heeseung introduced you as his new girlfriend. reminding himself constantly at the back of his mind that all relationships must come to an end and with every problem heeseung brought home, he was convinced it was near.
however, he must have underestimated you. one year became two, then four, and riki had become accustomed to his life with you. finding himself excited every time you’d come over whenever he was around because you had always seemed to favour him slightly, giving him the best meat cuts whenever you’d eat out together, or saving him the corner of the brownie because you knew it was his favourite part.
maybe it was silly to let you grow a home into the hole in his heart that was carved by his mother, seeking maternal comforts from you and allowing you to become a constant in his life.
but then again, all relationships have an end but riki wasn’t ready to let this one go. “so what? that’s it? you’re just going to end it here after everything?”
“look, it was a mutual breakup. we both just don't feel the same as we did before, so we broke it off like adults. i wish her all the best, just not with me.”
the split started to spread throughout his whole body, feeling his knees start to weaken under the weight of his emotions. when he started to feel his throat clog up and his eyes start to burn, he quickly made his escape, pushing past his hyung making sure to knock their shoulder on his way out to show he wasn't happy with the new change.
he could hear them discussing what happened after slamming his bedroom door, the thin walls leaving no word left unheard, drilling each question into his mind.
maybe then he should’ve left and apologised for his outburst, but grief is a funny feeling.
even though the relationship wasn’t his and never was to begin with, riki had gotten too comfortable living vicariously through you, and now he wanted someone to take responsibility for feelings only he could be blamed for.
but that’s another thing about grief. there’s always someone you want to pin the blame on. someone who caused this emotion to spiral and settle at the pit of his stomach without anywhere else to go leaving it to make itself home in his body.
and it wasn’t going to be him.
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bluelockmaniac · 23 days
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࿐ ˊˎs. gojo
satoru's one petty man. too stubborn to just ask for your cuddles like any normal person would. but he's not normal. he's convinced he could get you to cuddle him some other way.
one cozy evening, he deliberately chooses a scary movie for you both to watch, secretly hoping you'd cling onto him for comfort. he wants to pull you into his protective embrace as he feigns innocence— no, the movie choice totally wasn't intentional, what are you talking about? he'll play the hero, ruffling your hair reassuringly as you bury your frightened face in his chest, quickly wiping off the cheeky grin of triumph every time your teary eyes look back up at him. ah, what a carefully orchestrated plan—
well, time to snap him out of his little fantasy. you weren't fazed in the slightest by the horror movie he picked out and watched it with a blank, indifferent expression as you snuggled comfortably under your blanket (without him). from the corner of your eyes, you catch him staring at you a bit too intensely for comfort. feeling uneasy, you tilt your head to face him only to be met with a familiar sight, one you've seen way too many times.
"pfttt, are you pouting?" a soft laugh escapes your lips as you watch your boyfriend rub the back of his neck awkwardly.
"hmph," he huffs, clearing his throat as he reaches for the remote on the coffee table and turning off the tv. "at least act scared, you little brat!"
"your movie choices are so silly," you smirk, "how is alice in wonderland supposed to scare me?"
"hey, y/n! don't underestimate the queen of heart's wrath!"
"yeah, yeah,"
as you were getting off the couch, you felt his fingers wrap around your wrist, tugging you firmly onto his lap. before you could even react, his arms were already trapping you against his chest, leaving you to only squirm uselessly as his lips hungrily latch onto your neck.
"wait, don't—" you yelp before he switches his attention from your neck to your face, his mouth crashing against yours, swallowing both your thoughts and your words.
"that shitty 'horror' movie plan didn't work," he sighs, hovering over you as he lays you back on the couch. "so this is how i'll do it from now on, hm?"
it was a cozy night while it lasted...
©2024 bluelockmaniac — do not repost, copy, translate, modify, etc my work on any platform !!
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another-lost-mc · 8 months
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the characters finding out about mc's fwb but instead of it being with a random demon, it's solomon >>>>
them being flabbergasted not only about the situation but that you have the arrangement with that shady sorcerer. also frustrated because of course you'd take comfort on the only other human in the devildom!
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➤ when they find out solomon is your fwb
characters: the demon brothers + dateables
1k words | gn!reader | nsfw | snarky and suggestive
c/w: jealousy, non-explicit sexual content, implied voyeurism, implied threesomes/moresomes
related: finding out you having a fwb: the demon brothers | the dateables
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disappointed but not surprised: lucifer, beelzebub, diavolo
They warned you, didn't they?
Solomon is the shadiest sorcerer to ever exist. He's powerful and unpredictable and he can't even be called human anymore. Why in all the Devildom did you have to pick him? You could've had literally anyone else!
Unheeded warnings about not getting too close to Solomon turn into vague reminders that the demons are there to save you from that white-haired menace if you ever need them to.
Lucifer sneaks behind your back and gives Solomon the world's scariest shovel talk, which is a little silly since this was only supposed to be a casual arrangement for comfort and intimacy. (Of course, no one realized that you and Solomon managed to catch feels along the way.) Lucifer's thinly-veiled threats promising a painful demise should be enough to scare anyone away.
None of them expect Solomon to abruptly end your casual relationship so that he can date you officially instead. He looks far too smug with himself when you hold his hand at RAD in front of the others or when he becomes a semi-regular visitor at the House of Lamentation.
Your undeniable happiness is a constant reminder to the others that they underestimated both humans in the exchange program.
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why didn't anyone stop them?! (yeah, they're jealous af): mammon, leviathan, satan, belphegor
This is awful. Isn't this why they were supposed to keep an eye on you, to keep you from getting mixed up with people like him?!
"Weren't you supposed to do that, Mammon?"
"Shuddup!"
They hate Solomon's guts. They don't think he deserves you. (They might not deserve you either, but you could do a hell of a lot better than him!)
They roll their eyes and gag dramatically when Solomon kisses your cheek or cozies up beside you in the cafeteria at lunch. When you're not looking, they shoot daggers at him and make not-too-subtle gestures that translate roughly to I'm watching you and if you hurt them, you die. They're less subtle and more aggressive than Lucifer is, and Solomon thinks it's hilarious.
He knows how lucky he is that he caught your eye first and not them. He'd be lying to himself if he said he didn't enjoy rubbing it in their faces just a little bit. Maybe he forgets to use a silencing charm on your bedroom door when he fucks you in the House of Lamentation.
Maybe he wears low-collar shirts to show off the fresh line of marks you made around the base of his neck. He leaves a toothbrush in your ensuite bathroom and spare clothes in your closet.
Sometimes you wear his clothes when you don't have class because they still smell like him. You don't notice the demons sitting beside you at breakfast twitch in their seats and suddenly lose their appetites.
You feel so fortunate that you found friendship and love in the Devildom. Your friends tell you (and themselves) that they're happy for you too. You don't notice how fake their smiles are when they see you together (but Solomon does).
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they're surprisingly okay with it and no one understands why: asmodeus, barbatos, simeon
They don’t know whether to blame fate or their own bad luck that brought you and Solomon together. They grudgingly admit you could do a lot worse than the white-haired menace that seems to adore you. As long as you’re happy and treated well, they don't feel it’s their place to interfere.
The others might sulk and pretend they’re not disappointed, or they might be openly belligerent about it, but some of your friends still support you above all else.
Asmo drags you into his room and gossips with you about Solomon while he does your nails. Tell me, you can be honest—how is he in bed with you? I’ve never seen him like this with anyone else! Oh, I bet he's so romantic, isn't he~ He’s curious about your relationship and teases you for intimate details that are too personal to share, but you know he's genuinely excited for you.
Barbatos doesn’t say much about your relationship openly, but he enjoys reminding the others that if they were less distracted by their own foolishness, they wouldn’t have taken you for granted.
Simeon welcomes you with open arms as a guest to Purgatory Hall when the atmosphere at the House of Lamentation grows too stifling. He does his best to make sure Solomon doesn’t completely ruin dinner when you visit in the evenings. He enjoys discussing books and your other shared interests when the sorcerer is busy; Solomon knows you're safe with the angels in his absence.
Like Asmo and Barbatos, you grow closer with Simeon as well through your mutual connections to Solomon. You might not realize what they’re up to when they try to spend more time with you outside of class, but Solomon does. Their sweet gestures of comfort linger far too long to be considered platonic, and the way desire creeps into their eyes when they gaze at you from afar would irritate him if they were anyone else.
He has long, colourful pasts with both Asmo and Barbatos, and Simeon quickly became one of his trusted friends while living in the close quarters of Purgatory Hall together. It wouldn't be the first time Solomon invited one of his acquaintances for a little bit of fun in the bedroom, but that was only to share casual partners he didn’t have feelings for. The thought of sharing you with anyone else nearly drives him to violence.
Time dulls those jealous impulses, and he admits how appealing it would be to watch you with one (or more) of them together. You’re so lovely in the throes of pleasure, and there's a certain thrill from watching on the sidelines. He knows they'll obey without question when he tells them how to touch you, and he can savor watching you fall apart under their hands and his sinful commands. He gets hard just imagining you crying out his name when you cum, even if one of the others is between your legs instead of him.
If you admit to feeling desire for any of them, he'll discuss those delicious possibilities with you too.
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read more: headcanons masterlist | obey me! masterlist
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wondersinwaynemanor · 4 months
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that time when Jason and Damian worked together in "spoiling" Tim to make up for the "murder attempts" they did to their sleep-deprived brother.
Tim wakes up from his room: What the fu- I don't remember how I got here.
Tim sees Jason and Damian casually reading by the corner of his room.
Tim: What are you two doing in my room???
Damian: Drake's up. Told you he's alive.
Jason: Oh, thank fuck. I thought you died.
Tim: What are you guys...
Tim recalls a few events from last night.
Tim: What did you put in my coffee, Jason????
Jason: Not my formula. It's the brat's.
Damian crosses his arms, looking like a mini Bruce: I believe we deserve a thank you, Drake. Tt.
Tim: A thank you for drugging me???
Jason: You aren't sleeping, Timmy. And you're just as stubborn like the rest of this family, so it was the best option.
Damian: Agreed.
Tim groans: I knew I had a bad feeling. No one is fucking touching my coffee ever again!!!
as soon as Tim stands up from the bed, both Jason and Damian immediately goes to either side of him, holding both of his arms.
Tim: Um... What are you guys doing?
Jason: Making sure you're alright.
Damian: We're merely guiding you.
Tim: Guiding me to the bathroom? I don't recall getting injured from last night. Unless you also added a another formula for that.
Jason opens the door of the bathroom while Damian's tiny arm is around Tim's waist.
by the time Tim is done freshening up for the morning, Damian is still in his room.
Tim: Dami, honestly, what's going on-
Damian: It's the hour for breakfast, Drake. Come now.
Tim: But I'm not hungry-
Damian: No buts. *he goes behind Tim and pushes him towards the door*
Damian is pulling Tim's arm until they arrive at the kitchen.
Jason is wearing an apron and putting food on the table.
Tim smiles: Jay, you're cooking for everyone? That's actually nice of you.
Jason: For everyone? Nah, only for you, Timbers.
Damian: Sit, Drake. *he pats the seat beside the one he's sitting on*
Tim complies: So, when am I going to hear the joke? Dick, come out now! We get it, we're bonding. Bruce, you on this too? I know this is what you want!
Jason and Damian look at each other.
Jason: What the fuck are you talking about, Tim?
Damian: Don't be silly, Drake. Now let's eat.
Tim starts to eat: You should know you are both creeping me out. But this is great. Thank you, Jay.
Jason shrugs as he's eating too: It's nothing.
Dick and Bruce peer from the entrance of the kitchen.
Dick has a wide smile on his face: I didn't think they were gonna go through with this. Although, the sleeping antidote...
Bruce: Was over the top.
Dick: I mean, Timmy isn't good at the sleeping category, B. So, how long do you think they're gonna do this?
Bruce smiles lightly: They're both full of determination. It's hard knowing.
Later at night before patrol.
Tim screams from the changing rooms: JAY!!! DAMI!! I CAN'T CHANGE WITH YOU GUYS AROUND!!! ENOUGH OF THIS!!!
Nightwing and Batman already on their suits by the batcomputer.
Batman: You lost, Chum.
Nightwing: Aw man. Guess I underestimated my brothers. But I do admit, it's nice seeing them working it out.
Batman smiles lightly: It is.
and good luck to the criminals who would come across Red Robin tonight, thinking they can hurt him cus Red Hood and Robin are going to beat the shit out of them. together.
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thecherrytarot · 1 year
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𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐚 𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮?
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pile 1 → pile 2 → pile 3
Pick the photo that you feel the most drawn to. As always, this is a general reading so take what resonates. This is a reading is between the tarot reader and your person so the 'they' here is you!
𝐏𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟏:
The reader would tell your person, "They are someone who is ruled by the planet pluto or have a lot of Scorpio in their chart. They have gone through a lot of transformations to be who they are today and they are very wise because of this. They are very mysterious, intelligent and highly calculated. Oh, you thought you had the upper hand ?! honey they gave you that hand, don't be a fool they are always one step ahead of you but not in a cunning way, it's just the way they are. They are like the flame of a burning candle, constantly changing and never remaining the same. Now I know this PG-friendly reading but your person is very sensual in nature and is not afraid to show the love they have for you even in public. Your physical union iykwim will be very healing for not only you but them as well, don't worry they will take care of all your needs and wants. Be careful with how you approach them and remember 'if you can't stand the heat then get out of the kitchen'. Cause being with them is not a nice walk in the park, they have problems that they know how to take care of all by themselves, are you ready to prove that you are dependable? They have experienced their share of loss and endings and now they know exactly what they want and let me tell you, they won't settle down for someone who doesn't fit their standards. They care a lot about others, it is almost as if it is their second nature. They will go out of their way to help someone but not because they are a people pleaser, they do it just because they can help. They do not expect anything in return. Why does that shock you? There are people like this world and you will be lucky enough to meet them."
𝐏𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟐:
the reader would tell your person, "oh my your person is already manifesting you, how sweet! They have been through so much and for some reason, they have very little support from their family and/or community, maybe they are the same gender as you?! whatever the reason they have had very little experience with real and pure love. They feel alone and may naively even go look for love in all the wrong places. Your person might even feel left out and behind by their friends, how dare they !!!! Poor soul though. I just imagined them and they are on their bed, crying to some higher being to send them someone who will love them the way deserve to be loved. Well here you are, their soulmate or should I say destiny. Oh, how silly of you both to underestimate the blessings of the universe. I won't talk much now and the universe let you meet by chance and mend the bond"
𝐏𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟑:
the reader would tell your person, "quite a character not gonna lie. at first, they will appear as this shy, mysterious and typical 'i don't speak unless spoken to' kinda person but oh boy, the minute you speak it is so adorable how they continue to ramble and then zone out mid-sentence. I just imagined how they will have their resting face on but the minute you go up to them and say a 'hello! what is your name?' you can see how the gears inside their head are turning. very introverted and they love reading books and no they are not your typical nerd the books they usually read are found in the adult section and yes they will ask you to recreate the 'lean on the door' pose. They enjoy their alone because they need to be alone with their thoughts, they won't mind if you are there but please do not make noise, they will kick you out <3 You love teasing them, don't you? love to see them react like that to your advances, don't worry they enjoy it a lot more than you do and miss it when away from you but they will never tell you that. They are your soulmate and a very wise one in fact, they know how life works when to be patient, and when to sacrifice for the greater good. They will help you look at life from a completely different point of view which help you a lot in life and the best part about this they will drop this life-changing advice in the middle of their rambling session. Cherish them they won't show it but they have been through a lot too."
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brightlotusmoon · 7 months
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you ever think that tmnt 2003 Mikey just has one random ass break down in front of Leo full on sobbing out of nowhere and than after 1 minute of him crying suddenly wipes his tears and his face shifts into a smile and he's back to regular Mikey like before Leo can even ask what's wrong like bro was crying now he's acting like that never happened in a very surprising good way.
Just the one?!
*scribbling notes for newest 03 fic that still needs a Leo perspective chapter*
No, yeah, one random ass breakdown would probably be enough.
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luciddownloading · 6 months
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Astrology Observations: Aquarius Edition 👽
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🧠 Aquarius Suns, Aquarius Moons and Aquarius Risings are all specific embodiments of the Aquarius energy, but kind of go against other traits of the sign (This makes sense as Aquarians hate being stereotyped/put in a box).
Aquarius Risings are the most individualistic. NOT afraid to be different or go against the grain. Very unique energies and personalities. However, the "unemotional" stereotype does not apply here. We may appear detached, just through our face/body language, or even act a bit aloof as a defense mechanism. But, in truth, Aquarius Risings are very passionate and expressive and can also be very sensitive to others.
Aquarius Suns are the most social and people-oriented. They make all kinds of friends, wherever they go, and sacrifice a lot of their personal needs for others. Though they aren't necessarily followers, they are very happy to do whatever their friends want to do. As a result, Aquarius Suns aren't quite so nonconforming. Their weirdness is mostly in their sense of humor or life motto. Otherwise, they care a lot about social acceptance (which creates a certain inner conflict because they also feel like they shouldn't care).
Aquarius Moons are the most emotionally detached. Their feelings are often treated like a silly inconvenience to them. So, they either just brush them off or deal with them as if they are the emotions of someone else who needs good advice. As a result, their feelings continually "sneak up" on them and cause them to go a little wild/crazy and not know why. However, in contrast to the "social butterfly" description, Aquarius Moons are often very introverted or even shy. Not terribly social, very much loners, though they are good one-on-one and learn to "perform" extroversion well.
🧠 Aquarius' intuitive/psychic skills are seriously slept on. It can rival the Water signs, sometimes, especially when the Aquarius isn't too in their head. The ability to "just know" things about people and situations is unmatched. Receiving messages and insights through dreams or visions is also common.
🧠 Mars in Aquarius people typically are cool as a cucumber in situations that would make others livid and then flip OUT about things most people wouldn't even react to. Or they specialize in pissing others off, knowing the exact buttons to push, while they remain calm and collected.
🧠 The "ahead of your time" thing for Aquarius placements can manifest differently. It can mean being an artist/creative who takes a particularly long time to finally find success or recognition. It can mean telling the truth about someone or a situation and not being believed or vindicated until a few years later. Or it can just mean understanding things much more quickly than others.
In any case, you have to get used to the fact that it takes some time for others to "catch up" to you and not take it personally.
🧠 Venus in Aquarius individuals can have a polarizing effect. Those who are attracted to them adore their quirky appeal or the fact that they don't fit conventional standards. But, this is the very reason their haters feel the need to criticize them and label them unattractive.
🧠 Aquarius Moons might not exactly like children or see themselves becoming a parent (especially women with this placement) but then, out of nowhere, feel an undeniable draw toward parenthood. It truly turns their world upside down and can really help heal their inner child, which they don't have the best or most natural connection to.
🧠 Aquarius Risings always feel out of place but feel it the most among their family of origin. Either their personality or their appearance (or both) is wildly different than their other immediate relatives. They may also be the only child of their gender or the only tall one.
🧠 Those with Mercury in Aquarius tend to surprise people with their high intellect. They are unpretentious so people can underestimate their intelligence until they get going in a conversation or on a special interest. They can easily switch from being very quiet to very talkative and eloquent.
🧠 Aquarius Suns are much less flighty or flaky, socially, than their Gemini and Libra counterparts. They are a Fixed sign so they are too loyal to ghost or bail. They are still chaotic, though, and may not get back to you when you want them to. But, they eventually come through.
🧠 Although you can't label us too easily, people with Aquarius placements basically fall into one or more of these four categories: "magical, whimsical, otherworldly being", "brilliant yet scatterbrained and occasionally controversial professor", "maniac that everyone thinks is chill" and "chill person who everyone thinks is crazy".
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twst-rose-prisms · 11 days
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How do you think TWST boys (the ones below 170 cm like Riddle, Kalim, Epel etc.) would act like around s/o who's insanely tall? I keep reading fics that go like "he put your head on his shoulder" even though I'm almost a feet taller than him and I just end wondering how that's possible. (I'm 17 and is 6'5)
Hi hi~ First of all, thank you for your request anon! Sorry if you have to wait long enough cuz I was a bit busy with school 😭 Anyhow, I hope you like this because I put a lot of braincells into it hehe (also anon you're so tall, like literally a head taller than me-)
Twst boys with a partner that's a lot taller than them
Characters: Epel, Lilia, Riddle, Kalim x Reader Genre: Fluff Warnings: None!
🍎Epel
- I feel like he would be conscious of how he looks and his height but doesn't act too worked up over it, so if his partner is hella tall then he probably won't be bothered much unless they tease him about it. However if his partner is both tall and physically strong then he'll be very impressed at their strength instead! Probably asking things like what's their training methods or things like how to improve your muscles, etc. - He probably thinks it's a bit troublesome that he gotta look up to you every time you two are chatting, but as long as there's no teasing at him then he won't pay attention to that much, he won't admit he's secretly jealous of your height though... Okay, he will be, just a little bit, but afterward he just thinks about how cool you are when you always appear a head taller than most people in school and how it's so easy to spot you among the crowd. He seriously wants to be cool like you! - Don't treat him like he's a small, frail boy who needs help every time, that's the top thing on the "Absolute no" list for Epel. Even when you have an advantage in height, so what? He won't let that be a thing for you to make fun of him! In fact, it just gets him even more fired up to work himself better so he can catch up to you quickly! He has a lot of room to grow and he definitely won't give up either. - He definitely boasts about how cool his partner is or how tall they are to others with a proud look on his face. He is lucky for sure to have such an amazing partner like you, no one would ever be able to look down on you (in both ways) and that's what he loves to see! You're so strong and cool... sorry, did he already say that? Well he couldn't help it, you really are in his eyes! - He gonna insist on carrying you a lot of times even though you told him it's not necessary, but he would ask things like "Are you underestimating me?" with one of those "polite smiles" of his just to get you to give up or mess around, and he always success every time he did that. Much to your surprise, he actually might be able to lift you up! And that surprise looks on your face is exactly what he wants, just because you're a head taller doesn't mean he can't be a man around you! He would look super smug about it as he ended up teasing you a bit about this or bringing it up occasionally to see your reaction. He can be a bit of a prankster as a treat~
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🦇 Lilia
- Despite being fairly short, I think Lilia never gets bothered in the slightest mainly because he can teleport or float in the air like a bat he is. So even if his partner is insanely tall, he can just float up to their eye level with ease and even use their shoulders for leaning support. (he's just being the silly he is yknow) - But he would be fairly impressed for sure with how tall you're as you easily stand out in the crowd with your head above others or how easily it is to spot you. He thinks it's cool how humans can be so tall but also so short, it's really fascinating for a fae like him! - He can easily take books from the highest shelf or reach out for that one apple hanging on the tree, but sometimes, this guy would start acting like the tease he is and ask you to get it for him. "But you can just float?" "Hoho, but I'm feeling like walking today though~" and just land on the ground so casually like the prankster he is... as you just sigh and get the thing he requested with ease while the fae chuckles in the background. - He loves surprises, so don't question it if he suddenly floats up and kisses you out of nowhere when you expect it the least. That look of pure shock on your face is just priceless for him, peace and quiet is not an option if you're Lilia's partner no matter how tall you're. He definitely lives long enough to seen and talk to people that are as tall or even taller than you, so he knows how to handle it perfectly or even startle them back. - He also loves messing around, so he'll just appears out of nowhere, his body upside down as you got so startled you nearly froze when your eyes meet each other, and he laughs, like a lot. He just loves it when he can throw you off with such remarks and randomness, just because you're a head taller doesn't mean he can't scare you~ - You can try and surprise him back, maybe when he was being a bit too absorbed into chatting with you about something and you lean in, face inches away from his as both of you just stare at each other for a good second before you lean away and ask him to continue. Believe it or not, Lilia was thrilled at that attempt he ended up laughing like an idiot for a good minute, oh silly you, do that again next time! He'll only end up fascinated by you even more if you act like that, so surprising yet so exciting~
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🌹 Riddle
- He's very conscious of his height and could easily get angry or irritated at the slight mention of it, so I think he would feel even more conscious if his partner is a head taller than him. He always wanted to be the cool, reliable type of boyfriend in his partner's eyes, but to think now they're the taller one, a head taller even... He is not bothered at all. Not at all! - But that doesn't stop him from wanting his partner to depend on him too, considering he's still an honor student and a housewarden, he'll try to look past the height difference between you two and act like a reliable boyfriend and offer to help you out whether with your study or other things. He knows having a tall height has an advantage like be able to reach for high shelves easily, and whenever you do so, he just tries to not get flustered over it and thanks you properly... Don't worry, he's just being a bit shy~ - He hopes that his partner, being insanely tall, doesn't make fun of his height or mention it too often. He'll try to let it slide if you bring it up in a way that doesn't sound irritating to him, he might easily get upset but he always tries his best to not get unreasonably angry at you, that's the last thing he wants after all. - Whenever you two sit next to each other and when he can easily reach your face better, he will take it as a chance to appear more "boyfriend-like" to you... not that he already isn't one, but sometimes he can't help but wish he could reach your face easier so he can kiss them or cup your face better. Occasionally, he would even lend his shoulder for you to lean on too, not only does he feel like he's doing a good job being your partner but also feels taller too somewhat... That's a secret he'll never tell you though. If only he could be as tall as you... but rest assured, he still has more room to grow. (Or at least that's what he likes to believe) - You can be a bit of a tease by leaning down and randomly giving him a kiss, he'll be as red as his hair with those gray eyes looking all shocked! He probably scolds you to not do that so suddenly the next time but don't worry, he's not mad at all~
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☀️Kalim
- He's probably the one that's the most unbothered in this list since he doesn't care for things like height or appearance in general, but he'll definitely be impressed at how tall his partner is and shows it outwardly, he never holds back when it comes to compliments! - Though I think he'll love having a tall partner too as he can ask them to help him reach high shelves or just be able to spot them so easily in the crowd is enough to make him happy! Just imagine a cheery and bright Kalim running towards you from miles away while waving at you with the way your head pops up in a crowd, that would definitely bring a smile to your face for sure!! - He also isn't too conscious of his height or think too much about it, he is pretty carefree overall so it won't be at the top of his head! However, due to your height difference it would be a bit troublesome when he wants to kiss you but he can't... so he came up with a solution to jump up for that! And don't underestimate him, he's good at jumping despite his short height! (As he bounces up the air and you just so happen to lean down, both of your heads collide... Jamil questioned why both of you got a bump with a worrying look but neither of you explained it truthfully which only raised his suspicion even further... Don't tell him okay?) - Piggyback ride? Piggyback ride! Because of your insanely tall height, you definitely can lift him up and he is excited to say the least! He loves being carried around! So whenever he can wrap his arms around you as you carry him and run around the campus, he'll have a really big, happy grin on his face. Either that or you two do a jump challenge of whoever can reach that tree branch better (even though you know it's a surefire win for you) and the winner gets a free coconut juice! Kalim definitely tried his best to win every time despite his short height, and even when he lost he never appeared sad and the total opposite instead, he just has so much fun being around someone cool like you! - He also loves carrying others too, and he would also do the same to you despite your insane height. Similar to Epel, although you keep telling him it's fine but how can you say no after he give you that cute grin full of sunshine... so you just so happen to say yes, and as enthusiastic as he is, he quickly swoops you up off the ground, see, he definitely can carry you with ease! ...And it doesn't last for long as you both fall over to the ground. He felt bad for dropping you like that and quickly apologize before giving you a big grin and a cheek kiss as an apology gift, so cheeky and adorable of him~
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Fun fact: Did you know Ruggie escaped this post with a clutch? He's 171cm, just 1cm away from being in this list~
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halcyone-of-the-sea · 8 months
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Hi Hal!
Congratulations on finishing all the requests (there were so many good ones!!) and thank you for opening them up again!! I’m excited to see what you have in store for us with all your other projects, bestie!!! 😊😊
I was unsure of who to request at first because there are so many good ones but then I saw Hesh’s name and an idea hit me.
If you’re ok with it, could you possibly write one for Hesh where the reader is part of the Ghosts has been taken/captured by the Federation and after some time, they get intel on where she is so they go out to rescue her and she and Hesh are reunited? I don’t know if you want it to be a pre-established relationship or one where they both admit their feelings after they get her back, so I’m leaving it up to you. But I need a little rescue/reunion fic to fill the void in my heart that the ending of Ghosts made.
As always, feel free to change it up as you see fit and do whatever you want. I just think that Hesh deserves more love and I wouldn’t be opposed to seeing Riley again (aka: the best dog in the world)!!
Thank you and remember to take care of yourself and I appreciate you and your work!! 💕💕 Love you, bestie!!!!
Lengths Of Love
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PAIRING: David 'Hesh' Walker x F!Reader
SYNOPSIS: You'd loved Hesh for as long as you can remember, and you'd pulled him out of trouble for even longer, but you'd never had the courage to tell him how you feel. Until you do. Until you're being dragged away from his broken body.
WORDCOUNT: 10.7k
WARNINGS: Major spoilers for CoD: Ghosts, heavy angst, blood, guts, descriptions of wounds, canon-typical violence, weapons and firearms, death, torture involving: drugs/hallucinogens, physical violence, mental stress, talks of PTSD, anxiety, paranoia, rescue fic, best friends to lovers plot, wounds that would 100% kill you that you live from (plot armor fr), etc.
A/N: Bestie, I don't know what you put into your prompts, lmao, but I always end up writing so much for you!! Thanks so much for sending something in <3<3
*I do not give others permission to translate and/or re-publish my works on this or any other platform*
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The beginning of the end started with good intentions and one statement. 
“You hear this? It’s Rorke. He’s here. They’re evacuating on the train system below.” Hesh’s green eyes darted to you and Logan, his painted face a collection of rage and surety. The three of you were, in an instant, in agreement of revenge—there was no question as to what had to be done. Merrick couldn’t stop you, not on this. 
Rorke had made one of the most dangerous decisions of his life, and that was underestimating the Walker boys and their partner in sinful crime. 
“Harp,” you look away from the body of the warhead as it enters the atmosphere, locking onto Hesh’s hard eyes; the ones that had grown steadily colder since the death of his father, Elias. But it wasn’t just him—the patriarch had been close to you as well. The knowledge of his passing, witnessing it as the rope restraints seared into your flesh, had lit an all-consuming fire in your gut.
Like hounds, the scent of blood had hit the air. 
“Let’s get the bastard. Now or never,” you ease out, and Logan darts his gaze down to you from behind his balaclava. 
“Damn right,” Hesh barks, nodding firmly to you.
Anyone would have missed the way your gaze lingered on him as he darted off and began rushing down the stairs from the control room, Logan ever quick at his heels. But they wouldn’t have missed the way your breath pushed out a soft sigh as your eyes kept locked on the back of Hesh’s head as you followed after. 
You’d been childhood friends since practically infancy, a neighbor to the Walkers. It was natural that Hesh would grow to be the object of your daydreams ever since grade school; a constant and digging knife into your heart when he’d repeatedly pick other girls over you.
But such was life. 
All that mattered now was bringing down Rorke, silly love could wait.
“Merrick,” Hesh yelled down his line, the world outside this building rampant with open war. “The missile’s away and we’ve got a lead on Rorke, we’re going after him!” 
The white double doors meet the three of you as you all rush to them, and the panicked man’s voice flashes down the line immediately. 
“Negative Hesh! You three get back here and return to the rally point. We’ll track him down together.”
You call, “Isn’t an option, Merrick. We can’t let this one go.” 
You and Hesh ram your shoulders into the doors, Logan darting through first with his weapon drawn down the hallway. The brunette’s and your shoulders brush in a jostling of gear—pulling the back as your eyes lock. Cold light seeps from overhead, metal under your feet clanking in-key.
You look away before Hesh agrees and levels with the Ghost over the line to push your point. “Sorry, Merrick. Your mission is complete…ours isn’t.”
Federation heads pop up from behind makeshift barriers of barrels and other stacked items and as you all enter and clear rooms, alarms blare with the ferocity of fighting lions. Hesh keeps by your side, offering you openings that you greedily take as another soldier falls with a stiff twitch of your finger on the trigger. 
Darting behind cover, the man slams to the space beside you, calling over above the noise and the whizz of bullets.
“How long till impact?!” You shove a new clip into your FAD, brushing sweat and blood from your cheeks, smearing patches of your own paint. 
Glancing at the watch on your wrist, you hear Logan pushing the line. You dart out of cover to help—locking onto hostiles and backing up the younger brother with quick feet.
“Eight minutes, Hesh! You got a plan that doesn’t leave me with scorched hair?” He finds it in himself to laugh, clocking a soldier to your left and riddling him with bullets. 
“We need to get to that train, Harp. Don’t worry—I’ll kiss the burns away for you.” He rushes past and sends a smirk over his shoulder. You’re left stunned for a second, wishing that the teasing tilt to the older brother’s words was more than that. You blink, and the feeling is forced away.
Later.
“Keep pushing, Logan,” Hesh moves on. You all sprint down descending ramps, farther and farther underground with every step; adrenaline building to a breakneck level like weight slowly being added over and over to a chest. “We need to get to Rorke!” 
You didn’t want to tell him, but, while revenge was on your plate as well, this was a very reckless idea.
As you grab for a grenade from your belt and jerk on the pin, you chuck it down the way and call out a warning to the boys, who, like a well-oiled machine, dart and wait for it to detonate. Bodies fly, bloody splashes of torn limbs, and three Ghosts materialize from the smoke with masked and painted faces; eyes like fire and veins boiling. 
“Fire team suppressed in 3-1,” Hesh shouts through the line as you slide your knife into a man’s eye, his goggles breaking in a shattering of glass. “Advancing to loading bay!” 
There’s a large elevator ahead for transporting crates, and all of you jog inside as the gate creaks shut.
Merrick’s stiff voice replies, “Roger that.”
Silently, you click into the channel and mutter out as a moment of relative peace coats your body like a blanket, even if for a few small seconds. 
“I’ll keep ‘em safe,” a small twitch of your lips, “Commander.”
A deep and unimpressed voice wafts into your ear with a large sigh. “Know you will—just remember to keep yourself safe in the process, Kid…Don’t do anything stupid.”
You shift your gaze to Hash and find green already staring at you. Blinking, the man quickly darts his vision away and after a moment you turn your face back down to the connection and huff through a burning epidermis.
“Haven't you heard?” The elevator shows the train as it descends down, and you call to the boys, ‘six minutes’, with a firm voice. 
“Stupid seems to follow us three everywhere.”
Hesh points as the figures of more soldiers walk around below. “There’s Rorke’s train, straight ahead!” Sure enough, the worm of black and gray metal extends to your eyes across the large room
“He’ll be on there soon. Logan, take left.” You order and the brown-eyed man nods from beside you, shouldering his rifle and checking the clip. “Hesh?” 
“Taking right—you got Point, Doll.” He stares at you, licking his lips. “Clear the way?” You tilt your head at him as the elevator jumps to a stop, the barrier sliding away. It pains you to look away.
There were so many things you had to tell him. Too many things. 
“Always.” Shiting your face forward, you take a breath and take notice of points of cover, scoping the room in three seconds flat. Screeching wheels and alarms ingrain your eardrums. “On me.” 
As you head out first, fire the first bullet, the two peel off in opposite directions, Hesh only sliding up beside you and uttering into your ear.
“Be safe.” 
That comment makes you want to be anything but, if only he’d whisper into your ear like that again. 
Clearing the room, you can’t get your mind off the fact that this crush was overtaking nearly every part of your life—years of quiet agony and staying your tongue in fear of losing what great friendship you had. 
The stock set into your shoulder recoils with another burst of fire, Federation soldiers scream in pain, but you barely register over the shadows in the sides of your vision. 
“Damnit, Hesh,” you growl, bullet grazing your shoulder as you grunt and slip behind a concrete divider. 
“What’s that?” Your eyes widen comedically. Shit…had you forgotten to close the line? 
“Eh,” you clear your throat, grimacing at the small sparks of pain in your shoulder. “N-nothing.” 
There’s a bout of silence and then a panting voice, rough and growing more serious. “You alright over there, Harp?” You can’t even respond before Hesh quickly continues. “I’m comin’ to you. Stay there.”
You violently shake your head, although he can’t see it.
“Hesh, I’m fine! Keep right and clear that hallway.” 
There’s a deep grunt. “Fine, but if I see one scratch I’m makin’ Riley chase you down the Base when we get back.”
If we get back.
You roll your eyes with a growing smile, steeling yourself and slamming your weapon to the top of the divider before locking onto your targets. “Please, we both know he loves me too much for that.”
“Most I’ll have to do is put a treat in your pocket, Sweetheart.” His sly smirk is heard easily, and you swallow tense-like and breathe shakily. That low drawl in his tone left you more distracted than you could ever get used to. “Hell,” There’s a struggle over the line before the shink of a knife meeting flesh. A breathless chuckle that leaves your gut swirling. “Maybe I’ll just chase you down myself.”
Logan coughs over the line and you have to click off before you scream. Your face flares up until your ears ring and you have to duck behind your cover again before you get metal right to the forehead. 
Behind the barrier, you glare at the floor.
When did general teasing get so hard for you? Jokes and jabs carrying weight—since when? Sure you’d liked—more liked loved—Hesh since before all of this, but you’d carried on well enough. 
“Fucking hell,” you grumble, shaking your head to clear it and rushing. 
The brothers pop through the side hallways to flank the enemy, taking out the one or two hostiles that were still breathing after you level your barrel with the last standing head; firing with a burst of gunpowder.
“Train’s leaving, let's go!” Hesh screams, waving an arm quickly at you, walking backwards on quick feet. “Harp, C’mon!” 
You chuff, hopping the divider and sprinting as the metal object speeds up—there’s a moment where you fear you might miss it, Hesh and Logan both forced to hop on even in your absence.
“Harp!” Green eyes flash, one hand on the railing and the other extended out. 
“On it!” Snapping, you slam your palm into his and feel his strong fingers curl to clutch you. Logan grabs your collar and helps; the both of them easily yanking you over just as the wall of the tunnel engulfs you all in illuminated shadow.
Back meeting the train’s body, you pant and chuckle as Logan shakes his head, amused, and pats your shoulder. You wink at him jokingly. 
“Good save there, Walker Number Two.”
Hesh grabs the side of your neck, looking you over as he leans back with a breathless chuckle at the title for his brother. He blinks quickly at your shoulder, eye narrowing before he reaches out and looks at the blood on your gear.
“You mind telling me what this is, Doll?” You make a nose in the back of your throat as the smell of his musk hits your nostrils; the deadly concoction of his scent and his digging gaze.
Stuttering, you huff. “Eh…bullet graze?”
You’re leveled with thin lips, but Logan grabs his brother by the upper arm and peels him off you, motioning to his radio as the train gains even more speed. Wind whips past your face as Hesh clears his throat, quickly avoiding your eyes. 
The man’s splotchy paint shows his red skin under the darker pigment. 
“Merrick, we’re on the train,” he speaks, shifting past you without another look. “We’re going after Rorke.”
“Solid Copy.” You watch the brunette walk away and hold your breath, though you don’t know why—heart beating not just because of adrenaline. 
Embarrassment breeding in your stomach, you ignore Logan’s knowing stare and push off the wall, rubbing at your bleeding shoulder with a stiff hand. 
You break a man’s neck against the wall, hand on the back of his head before you slam it into the hard metal. There’s a crunch of bone and a broken rattle before the broadcasted feed from the screen on the train’s panel spits out a message in panicked Spanish to the already deceased men.
“Evacuation protocol C is in effect. All personnel secure cargo and supplies—”
Hesh interrupts ahead of you as you let the body drop, scowling at the heavy sound of its dead weight. At his angry voice, you perk and tune in.
“Tell Rorke we’re comin’ for him.” There’s a quick shove from the other end of the feed, the previous man disappearing as the individual that takes his place makes your eyes go to slits. A great growl like a wolf echoes from your heart and seeps from between your clenched teeth. 
Rorke’s scarred face appears with a smirk and a cocky voice.
“Why don’t you just tell me yourself?” You look at your boys, more concerned for them as you watch firsthand the trauma the death of their father brought them. 
Logan holds his weapon tighter, fixing his grip. Hesh is a bit more direct. He leans closer to the screen, bearing his teeth like a dog and snarling with rage and hatred.
“You’re done, Rorke.” All of a sudden he peels back a fast fist and sends it careening into the screen—making a shattering of glass and a hard thud emanate deep into your bones. 
Blinking quickly, you tense as it happens, not expecting that. But as soon as you try to make sense of it, the brunette is already banking off to the side door, calling a sharp, “Let’s finish this!”
He grabs the side of the train car and wrenches on the handle, grunting and pushing with all of his might.
“Hesh,” you try to reason, stepping in now before things get too hot. “We need to think of a plan before you rush into things. This could get us in a heap of shit that we might not be able to get out of.”
It’s like he doesn’t hear you, and you spare a glance with Logan for help. But he, too, has already joined his brother with a swish of gear on the handle. With one great push, the door opens to the outside brightness, making your face turn away for a moment. 
Along the far expanse of open sand dunes outside; mountains flanking the bridge this train flies across, you get the perfect view of a warhead meeting the ground in an explosion of fire and death. It bursts far across the valley, and you cover your eyes as the sharp ball of light burns your retinas. 
The shockwave hits moments later, and Hesh says easily as the train shakes and squeals like a metal pig, “Looks like Icarus got control of the rods!” The boys step out onto the platform along the train, and you have no option but to follow. “All that’s left is Rorke, let's go!”
“Hesh,” you try again, hissing out his name, and you’re graced with a quick glance.
“Harp,” he comments, “what is it? We can’t wait any longer—”
“What we can’t do is go in blind!” You shout above the wind, legs stanced to help you stay up. Green eyes twitch with confusion, perhaps even a little hurt. 
“Blind? What are you talking about, we push forward and take what’s owed.” You know how much this means to him—to Logan—but there was a point where pride and stubbornness outweighed sense. This was dangerous, especially for Hesh. 
You were always the one to keep him level; keep him from becoming too much like his dad. 
You’d promised that old bastard you’d look after his boys, albeit in a teasing sense, but to you, it had been a stark vow on your soul. Logan was a brother to you, and Hesh…Hesh would always be more, but that only made your love for them both grow. 
“You keep those two from getting in their heads, you hear? They mean well, but there’s no one I trust more than you to level them out, Harp. I’m proud of you. And I’m sure your folks would be too.” Elias had said that, and when he died you bottled it up and used so much force that coal had turned to diamond. 
You would keep Logan and Hesh safe. Safe, and level, and not hard-headed. 
For as much as you secretly loved your brunette, he sure was stubborn as all hell.
“If you want out, Harp,” Hesh calls to you, gritting his teeth. “Just wait back in the train car. This is something we can’t put off like everything else—this ends now; today. I’m not letting Dad’s killer survive.”
“Son of a bitch, that’s not what I’m saying!” You’re quickly losing your standing. Logan jogs ahead to scout, time ticking. “Hesh, you know that I loved Elias as much as you two did—not one is denying that this needs to happen. I'm with you. But this is too damn dangerous! We can’t rush into this without a plan of attack; of exfil! Do you even know how we’re going to get off of this thing?!” 
Hesh had been isolating the few days he had on the U.S.S Liberator, keeping to his room. The man idolized his father and put him on a pedestal of gold even when he was a teenager. He’d even pushed away from you, which all together was unheard of. Logan had nearly had an aneurism when you’d come back to the cafeteria and shook your head in disappointment after trying to get him to open his door. 
The two of you told each other everything. Always. That was just…how it was.
But the man that Hesh had donned the skin of was not the man you loved.
Hesh glares at you, eyes going alight with anger. 
“If you were with me, you wouldn’t be holding me back.” He turns and runs after Logan, leaving you behind in the open air as the train banks left and right with the sway of the bridge. 
Staring. Barely breathing. Mouth parted and eyes wide. 
When the man is at the end of the current train car, having to jump a small distance to the next, he pauses. His back is tight, and under him, his feet shuffle. 
There’s a moment you hope he’ll turn around and come back, take you into one of his hugs, and squeeze the life out of you. It wouldn’t be such a cruel way to die, you think, to be held in his arms. 
But the next moment you see the back of his head shake, and he jumps over to the next section, not even giving you a second glance.
You don’t want to admit how long you waited there, your mind jumbled and confused. 
Don’t take it personally, you try to tell yourself, sucking down a breath before slowly walking forward. He’s hurt. Grieving. He didn’t mean it.
Rationality was a tool of the level-headed, and you were anything but that nowadays.
Over the line Hesh’s voice makes you flinch as you slowly follow after, train car after train car.
“Rorke must be at the front of the train!” You step over dead bodies and lend merciful bullets to the ones still writhing, boots coated in crimson. Following a trail of wreckage with stiff lungs. 
Stay out of his way? Fine, you could do that.
You stayed back from the head-to-head fighting, laying covering fire and keeping off the comms—whenever Hesh managed to look back at you, you simply moved on to the next hostile. 
Eventually, you all ended up on the rooftops, the boys far ahead and yourself blank-faced at the rear. Logan was acting more concerned than Hesh was, glancing at you constantly in confused worry. But it was very much short-lived.
“Incoming!” The right side of the railcar bursts with fire, and you gasp before grappling for the opposite side of the train, keeping you there before the swaying beast leveled out. “Helos. Take cover and take out the gunners!”
You scoff, quickly making your way behind a connector joint to lean your back against it and catch your breath. Two helicopters fly alongside the train, Logan already firing at one, and Hesh…your eyes narrow with annoyance. Hesh was already running ahead of the pack, his low grunts and growls over the line giving way to his impatience. 
You click your jaw and try to remind yourself that this is the same man who held you close during movie nights and carried you to bed when you fell asleep. Made you waffles when your boyfriend in eighth grade broke up with you on Valentine’s Day.
Stitched your wounds before he gave them a teasing ‘kiss better’ and looked up at you through dark lashes. 
You wildly shake your head to force yourself back to the present.
The gunners are harder to hit not only based on wind and distance alone, but on the erratic movements of the pilots. It’s several clips before you down the second Helo, and Logan’s follows immediately after as they both collide and ram into the mountainside.
You both share a glance and rush after the misguided brunette. 
At the end of the train, only the engine remains. 
“Clear!” Hesh relays, jumping down from the roof of the railcar and hurriedly walking to the white door, leaning against the wall. “We’re at the last car, Logan. Rorke’s pinned, he knows we’re comin’.”
You gaze down from the top as Logan follows, silent and brooding. Your hands along your FAD tighten under your gloves. You don’t even look at the man. 
“Merrick, do you copy?”
“Copy, Hesh.”
“We’re moving in on Rorke.” You slide him a look, seeing him glaring those pretty greens into the ground. “If you hear the word “Checkmate”, you will fire on our position! Confirm?” Your eyes snap with horror, heart lurching.
Surely, you hadn’t heard that right.
Merrick’s voice echoes your frozen confusion. “Say again, repeat your last.”
You jump down and stagger for a moment, barking out a harsh, “What the fuck are you doing?” Inside of your chest, your heart rampages like it never had before. “That’s suicide!”
He was going to kill everyone to bring down Rorke, and you get no answer beyond a clenched jaw and a quick side-eye.
“You heard me, Merrick, on “Checkmate”, hit this train!” The connection is cut and Logan gets into position to shoulder the door open, you watch, stuttering. 
Hesh levels with his brother, “We can’t take any chances, Logan. Even if we fail, Rorke dies.” Panic builds, and you’re taking quick steps forward.
You keep those two from getting in their heads, you hear?
You have to stop them, you have to drag them away—but even you know that deep down the only thing that will stop these two is a bullet. 
Eyes snapping back and forth, you only get close enough to try and snatch at Hesh’s arm right as he finishes a countdown of three; at the end, Logan kicks down the engine room door with a violent connection of his boot.
Even with the drop on the three guards inside, it doesn't stop the bullet from ripping through your lower side, preoccupied and distracted yet again. You yell loudly, balking back into the door frame and hunching over as blood spurts out of you. Hesh’s head whips your way immediately, jaw going slack and a soul-deep hysteria takes over.
So now he pays attention.
“Shit, Harp!” So little time. 
Logan can’t take care of the last remaining Fed soldier by himself, and in a large act of self-sabotage, that very soldier just happened to have a missile launcher. 
The entire left engine explodes—the train jerks; everyone is sent in a back-and-forth motion, first hitting off the last train car before being sent right back through the engine room entirely. A transference of force gives you whiplash as your head bounces off the door frame. 
The world goes blurry, body hitting and slamming through layers of glass and pain before the control room is suddenly where you end up, using the body of a stunned guard as a cushion. 
There’s a second of muffled gunfire, struggling and yelling—and then it all comes back into focus like a sniper’s scope being correctly sighted. You gargle an expletive and shove the guard under you back down despite the searing heat in your side and head; struggling to unsheathe your combat knife as the world tilts. 
Hands push at your cheeks, grip at your neck futilely, but when you get the blade out and struggle the hands down once more, you hammer the point into his throat with a thump of your boot pressing for purchase on the floor. 
The man spasming, you push off of him and slam to the ground, coughing in great lung-shattering segments.
“You can’t win, Rorke!” Hesh’s voice brings you back from the swirling, and you hear your blood patter to the metal floor like rain.
“Shit,” you mutter, gasping for air. 
Gazing up you see Rorke holding Logan in a chokehold, free hand pointing a gun at Hesh. Your eyes bulged, trying to push onto your knees and reach for your weapon as you saw Hesh continually looking away from the target and worriedly watching you. His hands at his sides are loose, but when you lock eyes with him, they clench and shake. 
“It’s over—” He tries, but the loud gunshot bounces off the train’s enclosed space. You’re yelling before you can think, darting forward and leveling your gun right to Rorke’s head as Hesh’s form collapses to the ground.
Standing on unsteady feet, you pant and stumble, but the devil’s brown eyes hold you captive. Rorke smirks as you guard Hesh behind you. 
“Well, well, well, seems the girl’s just as promising as you, eh, Logan? She’s the other one who slipped her binds in Las Vegas.” He laughs. “Look at me, I’m surrounded by young talent.” 
“I don’t exactly care if you are or aren’t,” you growl, shuffling to keep Hesh even farther behind you as you instrumentally cough again. Your legs are wobbling. “Just that you put my fucking friend down.”
“You willing to die for him?” Rorke looks demented, with his scar and his intimidating build. Whatever torture he had been through to make him like this—a Ghost killer—it had worked perfectly. There was no coming back from this. He whistles lowly. “That’s some loyalty you have there.”
His mind was dead to all else.
You don’t hesitate in an answer, even as the man behind you grabs your leg, trying to move you with a wheezing breath.
“H-Harp,” his spine moves in a cough. “Don’t…please.”
“Always.” Interest alights in those dark, tiny eyes. Logan tries to give you messages with his gaze, but you ignore him. Ironic. “That’s not something I’ll break on. Unlike you.”
“Shit, Kid,” there’s a grand laugh, “now that’s heartless…but good,” Rorke glances at Hesh, raising a brow and chuckling. “I’ll love to see the look in his eyes when I—”
“Checkmate!”
“Checkmate confirmed.” You look down at Hesh and see him watching you, his gaze open and bare. 
“I’m sorry,” he gasps, but all you can do is watch. 
There’s no time to think.
“I love you,” you confess in a fleeting moment of bare nothingness, blurting it out. “I’ve loved you.”
Hesh’s body entirely halts, jaw slowly slackening in horror; something shifts behind his eyes but before he can open his mouth, a rageful bark bullies the smooth tone of his throat back.
“What did you do?!” Your form is bodied into the controls behind you, colliding as you snarl and are forced to recover. With a snap of your finger, you fire a shot into Rorke’s foot. 
He yells and whips his wrist back, slamming the butt of his gun into your temple. 
As the bridge ahead of the train explodes, Hesh drags himself to cover your body, muttering into your flesh words you cannot name as the darkness sets in.
“It’s over,” Hesh speaks grimly to Rorke, turning to look at him silently as he presses your head into his chest, sharing a nod and thin-lipped look with Logan still stuck in his arm. “It’s over.”
“Shit, Son…” The train gets thrown and broken in a wave of utter destruction and rebirth; and through it all, Hesh never lets go—not even when the water below comes up to meet you.
The beach’s sand is coarse, and it sticks to your gear with a fervent hold. To your skin, the paint, and blood, for the moment washed away as hands dragged you from the water, small puffs of breath and whimpers greeting you. 
“C’mon, Sweetheart.” Hesh. And he sounded frantic. “C’mon, open…open your eyes, dammit. Please, you just told me the best thing you possibly could. Please.” 
Water slips off your neck, and as you’re weakly lying back, propped against a rock, hands slip to your cheeks, moving the skin as a barely conscious body tries to make you wake up. 
A forehead hits against your shoulder, a deep groan of pain emanating from the man who grips at your gear.
“No, no, c’mon,” Hesh can barely keep himself sitting up, bloody and broken. Logan had to drag him from the water not seconds prior, and in turn, Hesh had grabbed what little strength was left and helped him get you. “Logan!” Green darts to brown, and the older brother pleads in a broken voice, “Help me!”
You bend your head forward and cough up blood and water, shoving Hesh away from you so you can collapse on your side and expel your stomach.
“Harp,” the man quickly mutters, dragging himself over and grabbing your shoulder to keep your face out of the sand. “Fuck, okay—it’s okay I’ve got you.”
“You,” your voice cuts out, and you shake as you gasp and sputter, “A-are a fucking idiot!” 
Hesh chuckles, and you feel his head hit off your arm, his struggling breath. “God, I know. I know, Sweetheart.” 
Logan crawls over to you, pushing you back against the rock and grappling for his medical pouch as Hesh patches into the comms. You grunt and look down at the younger brother, head swirling in colors and ears pounding with your pulse. 
“Merrick, do you copy? Merrick, come in.”
“Hesh! Hesh, is that you?” You weakly smirk at the shock and relief from the tone, letting your head tilt back as Logan hurriedly packs your gunshot wound with gauze. You wince and stare at the sky—blood infectiously tinging the sand below you. 
Hesh tries to help too, but you and the man are in far worse shape than Logan. The older brother’s shoulder leans into yours heavily, and you shift your eyes to the side as they flutter.
You haven't forgotten what you told him, what you confessed, but right now pushing back the black in the sides of your vision was more important.
And Rorke. What had happened to Rorke?
“Yeah,” Hesh watches you, face screwed with concern. “Yeah, I’m with Harp and Logan. We’re…we’re alive. Rough shape, but alive.”
“And Rorke?” You hold your breath.
“Dead.” Logan ties off a quick tourniquet and your spine tightens in agony, hissing out as your nerves spike with electricity. The brown-eyed man spares you a sorry glance but you shake your head in dismissal. “He’s dead.” 
Out in the water, the enemy warships are firing off missiles inland, some smoking and others already sinking. Merrick gives you the news as Hesh brings a hand up to your chin, tilting your head his way. You go willingly, skin on fire from the scrape of his gloves. 
Logan moves back, having done what he can, before he collapses back into the sand, panting with an arm over his stomach. His older brother’s forehead bumps into yours, eyes stuck. 
“Copy that. The Federation is in full retreat—the rest of the payload is inbound to finish the…”
Whatever else Merrick relays is lost and Hesh’s lips splay over yours, his nose letting out a long breath and body sagging, dead-weight. Cheeks hot and mind running, you let instinct take over and reciprocate, quick fingers pulling at his vest straps.
“Since when?” He asks, breathless when he moves back an inch. 
“After you introduced me to your first girlfriend, Cassie Albrook,” you smile, eyes crinkling. “Seventh grade. The one with the black hair? God, I was so jealous.” 
Hesh chuckles deeply, body jerking as he kisses you again, pulling back and holding your cheek in his hand. His eyes are wide and open.
“You mean to tell me, I could have been kissin’ you all the way back since seventh grade?” Your face moves with pure love, flesh going soft—even the pain diminishes somewhat. 
Merrick’s voice still gruffly moves down the line, and the last bits of his sentence are heard. 
“...Sit tight, Recon’s comin’ for ya.” Everything was looking up. 
Missiles slam into the Federation ships out in the water, the sudden burst of liquid and fire making Hesh briefly cover you with his side to protect you from the shockwave. When you turn to look, nothing but sinking metal remains. 
“I’m sorry,” Hesh tells you, and you don’t have the energy to pull away from his neck as you let your head rest—the thumping of your brain and the calming shadow of his form giving way to believe you had a concussion. 
“Hm,” you hum, letting him continue. His voice echoed in his breast.
“I…I’ve been an ass these past few days, weeks, I shouldn’t have said what I did—wanted to take it back as soon as I turned away from you.” You close your eyes and sigh long, sarcastic even now. 
“You owe me dinner and a movie, then I’ll see if I can forgive you.” Hesh chuckles, nose pressing down into your scalp. He kisses you there as water falls from his chin.
“Sounds like a plan, Doll.” The man lets himself rest, curled around you and waiting for the recon team as the sand and the water move. “I love you too…just so you know. Long time.”
Your failing mind lets off a scoff. But a happy one.
When you wake again, not remembering when you’d fallen asleep, it is to the sound of screaming. 
“Logan!” You jolt up and have to place a hand on your head to stop the pounding. Hesh is struggling to move, fighting to get to his younger brother who you turn as quickly as you’re able to face. “Logan!”
Your face voids of blood. 
Rorke is dragging the other man away, pushing him to the ground as Logan tries to fight like a dog on his back, with only one arm working properly. Growling, you try to stand—body falling and sliding right back down as Rorke kicks Logan’s combat blade from his hand, walking over to you and Hesh. 
He stands and pants, limping from your shot to his foot and a hand across his abdomen in obvious pain.
“Look what you did,” Rorke motions behind him to the still-falling missiles being disposed of from space into the ocean; atop the wreckage of what Rorke had been a part of. Falling to your side, you leave behind a raging Hesh who attempts to move and get to Rorke while you go to Logan. The devil wheezes and points from you to the boys, forcing a grunt of approval. “You’re good.”
Hesh is shoved back by a ruthless boot into the rock, and you snarl, coming over to Logan and his very broken arm as he weakly writhes on the ground. You place your body over his and bare your teeth as if a beast. 
“Rorke!” You bark. “It’s over! It’s done. Everything you’ve built is dead and recon is on its way for us…you’re finished.”
“Nothin’s finished, no,” Hesh tries to lunge again as Rorke’s body stumbles closer to you but falls into ragged coughs and stays on his side in utter agony. 
“Stay away from them!” The man you’d just confessed to hisses, hand grasping futilely at the sand. Green eyes run back and forth from you to Logan, desperate and breaking by the second. “Rorke! You son of a bitch!”
“Nothin’s ever finished.” Grabbing you by the scruff of your neck, you’re being tossed off Logan and thrown to the side in a cloud of sand, body screaming at you as you yell out loudly. 
Rorke bends a knee to look Logan in the eyes, shaking his head.
“You’d of been a hell of a Ghost.” Yelling, you wrench at the combat knife in your vest, set your feet, and tackle Rorke off of the Walker boy with a feral curse on your breath. 
“Get the fuck off of—” Your leg twists with a defining crack as you’re grappled and thrown off, only able to slice a nice long cut down his jaw and at the beginning of the man’s throat. 
Screaming you hear briefly Hesh’s rageful bellow, his calling of your name in high keens of helplessness. Promises of revenge and justice. 
Breath breaking as tears line the back of your eyes, Rorke comes over you and pins your dominant hand to the ground—you look up and grimace, trying to make your body function. 
Move!
Rorke laughs, great shoulders shaking with glee. He’s fucking demented as he continues his sentence from before your fruitless attack. 
“...But that’s not gonna happen, is it?” The man smiles and you struggle as Logan and Hesh rapidly try to assist. 
“Harp!”
“There ain’t gonna be any Ghosts.” Rorke’s eyes shift to Hesh, and you follow with a sense of dread and horror. The man’s mind had been made up when he turned back around, disregarding Logan entirely in favor of you and your ‘unbreakable’ loyalty. 
The joy it would bring him to destroy you and set you loose after such. Set you loose on Hesh. 
He leans in close to you, so you can feel his breath and his conviction. 
“We’re gonna destroy ‘em together.” 
“Harp!” You’re shoved back, knife grasped and ripped from your hand as your broken leg is grabbed and pressure is applied. 
You scream again, arms carding across the dunes as Rorke begins dragging you backward like a child holding onto a stuffed toy. Blown green eyes meet yours, Hesh reaching out and screaming at the top of his lungs for you. 
But he can’t move.
“Harp!” 
And you can’t feel your fingers. 
“I love you,” you whisper, perhaps for the last time and he sees your lips move. Hesh screams and slams his hand into the ground, Logan stumbling to his knees but immediately dropping back with a small cry. 
And Rorke chuckles.
You don’t know where he took you, but you do know the jungle floor is cold and wet, and the mud under your fingernails makes you feel gross. 
What you do know is that the earthen walls of the pit you are in are pointless to try to climb—the top is slatted with a covering of long sticks with wide square openings. You know it’s going to rain by the smell in your bloodied nostrils. 
You know that your leg is broken, your bullet wound is festering through the tourniquet, and your concussion is making you sleepy. 
In your head, you count these ‘knowns’ and sprinkle them like seeds as you stare blankly at the sky far above. Everything aches; hurts. When you breathe, it comes in and out with a wheeze. 
You know that Hesh loves you, and perhaps that’s the only fact you care about. Wherever he is, you’re glad he can’t see you like this. 
Rain patters against your head, the storm clouds finally rolling through. Leaves can be heard shuffling on their branches. You breathe in and out, rising and settling your lungs slowly. 
You can’t break—not like Rorke. 
No matter what he did to you, you can’t betray the Ghosts. Logan. Hesh.
Elias’s words echo as you curl into a tiny ball, shivering and whimpering as your wounds move and pull. 
...I’m proud of you. And I’m sure your folks would be too.
You know this game. Torture. They’ll pump you full of hallucinogens, starve you, beat you within an inch of your life; and through that you cannot give in.
But it’s easier said than done.
In the middle of the night, the top of the pit is pushed away and there are the voices of multiple people that dance above the rain storm. They jump down and in the state you are, there’s nothing you can do to stop them from hooking their arms under yours and hauling you up, limp and motionless. 
The words are in Spanish, and you still can make out some over the commotion and the way your hearing dips in and out. 
“Where do we inject….”
“...neck, I believe…arm could work too…”
“...nasty…was it? I heard…mix of drugs…Who knows?”
Your head is harshly yanked back, and the sharp pinch of a needle digs into your neck, the action making your good leg kick out in panic but there’s little you can do. 
A flood of thick fluid enters your veins and like sap seeping out of a tree some drops exit the wound and mix with the rain weighing down your clothes. They’d taken your gear, only your undershirt and cargo pants still clothing you. 
When they’re done, they let you drop back to the floor, where you flop and smash your face into the mud with a weak drag of your cheek along the sludge. With calls from above, a rope is tossed down and they all ascend. The top is clattered back over moments later. 
Laying still and groaning, teeth clenched, already you feel ten times more strange than before. 
“Ah,” you grasp at your head, which was bursting to begin with, as it gains a looseness to it—the mud below you shimmered with puddles, the chill got colder, and your clothes felt grating against your skin. “Not good. N-not good.” 
You pull at your shirt collar, coughing as your eyes bulge; your heart breaks itself as it immediately can be felt hammering into your ribcage far more sensitive than you’d ever experienced. It felt like your chest was going to rip open. 
Panicked sounds emanate from the back of your throat, fingers digging into your scalp as the drugs carry their venom through your blood. 
Your wounds blazed.
You start screaming, babbling for nothing, and pulling at your flesh, but the overhead striking of lightning leaves the desperation mute to all but the trees.
Hesh stares at you from the corner of the pit, but his eyes are not green. You watch, silent, barely moving, from where you curl into a tiny heap of bloodied flesh. You’d torn at your skin for days; time looped together with more injections and no food. Water you got from the sky.
They had offered soup, but you knew better even as you dug harsh lines into your neck. There were just more drugs in the broth. 
But Hesh. Hesh.
He wasn’t right—didn’t stand like him, or breathe like him; there was something off about his smirk as he watched you gaze at him in an addled stupor.
“Feelin’ good over there, Kid?” Not Hesh. Not. Hesh.
You’re panting, your body sweating profusely in the humidity and so, so hungry.
Not Hesh takes a step forward and his image tilts like the turning of a page with Rorke taking his place, but as soon as it happens it flips back on itself to your Love.
“N-not right,” you hurriedly whisper.
Not Hesh puts a hand to his ear, kneeling down in front of you. “What was that, now?” A long chuckle. His voice is…is…deeper. Your eyebrows flinch up and down. “Who do you see, Sweetheart?”
“Hesh,” you whimper out. “Hesh, what are you talking about? What’s going on? I…I feel like I’m…I’m twisted inside out.”
“Hesh, huh?” The man looks to the side, smiling. “Well, that’s better than I expected. This’ll be fun.”
“W-what—” A fist connects with your face and you get catapulted into the wall. Before anything else, your stomach is kicked, making your call of alarm get forced out as a gasp as your clotted bullet wound reopens in a great tear. A large hand grips you hard by the chin, snapping it forward to stare into those wrong eyes but the familiar face of Hesh. 
What was he doing to you?
“H…Hesh,” you can’t even stutter out his name before you break down into coughs and gagging; tears rolling down your cheeks, and blood and mud everywhere.
“Yeah, that’s right. You just keep lookin’ at me.” You dry heave and push at his hands, fingernails digging into his skin to create crescent moons. “Keep lookin’ at Hesh.”
It’s three months of the same, and you can’t go on anymore.
You lay in a near comatose state on the ground, flesh completely covered in mud and open wounds—maggots eat at your dead skin, wriggling deeper. Not having the heart to pick them out, or even move the few non-broken fingers you have, you lay in blank agony. Pain so deep you can’t scream or make a single noise. It would make it worse; it is making it worse. 
Breathing is becoming a chore.
“Is today going to be the day?! God, I sure hope so.” Hesh looks down from over the edge, fiddling with another syringe of drugs. “Enough blood down there to make a fuckin’ painting out of. Shit…You lasted longer than I thought, Kid.” You don’t look at him. At his dark, wrong, eyes. 
“I’m nearly impressed.” There’s a low chuckle and the crackling of branches. 
You close your eyes and try to think of a single kiss and green eyes, but the rest of the image is tainted to you. Your mind can’t call it forward without the corruption of the puppet ahead of you, this shifting specter of mist and smoke.
Memories that used to bring you comfort call to fear and spine-curling hurt. 
This couldn’t be Hesh, you told yourself for the millionth time, but…who else could it be? Your body was too broken to try and work through the hallucinations, to think or rationalize.
There’s a thump of boots and a grunt. Someone coming closer as birds speak far above. Singing. It's the first you can recall another living creature being this close to the smell of infected decay.
 “Now, now, let’s see that neck of yours.” You’re seized and pushed onto your back, head lulling and eyes fluttering. Hesh’s image shifts and bends into another, one you should be able to name but can’t quite recall. It’s hard to focus. “Just one more, and we can fix this. Together. No more Ghosts, huh? We’ll make it right.”
Birds songs. Birds and flying shadows. Rapid wing beats like an eagle or the pound of paws on the ground. 
There is an un-godly snarl and a call of rage. 
“Rorke!” The dark-eyed Hesh snaps his head away, his needle stilling in his grip only inches from your flesh. He’s grappled and ripped away, thrown up and slammed down into a full-body jerk of pure strength not a second later with a cry of shock. “Get the fuck off of her!” 
Shadows roll and wrestle, feral yowls like that of beasts bounce off your impaired hearing, mud stuck in your ears. You think your vision cuts out for a moment because the next there’s a different man gripping your shoulders, slightly shaking you back awake.
Blue eyes like the ocean. Your brow barely twitches in confusion. 
Keegan? 
“C’mon, that’s it. Right here.” A light is taken and directed right into your eye in the fading light. “You’re doin’ great, Harp. Just keep lookin’ at me.” 
The light passes over your blood-coated eyes and barely diolates. Keegan’s lips under his balaclava thin to an alarming degree. 
“Fuck,” he grunts, looking down at you before he darts his vision over to Hesh, the actual Hesh, who’s locked limbs with the former Ghost; fists to guts and primal anger. 
In his haste to get to you, Hesh had damned himself—he’d left no opening for any of the others to get a clean shot at Rorke. But no one could blame him, even if it was reckless; incredibly stupid. 
The man had been on your trail nearly every day since you’d been taken. Barely sleeping, eating little. A man possessed. 
The Ghosts had been half convinced something had taken over his image and scooped out his personality.
“Merrick,” Keegan patches into the secure line, looking back down at you. “Positive ID on HVT, three klicks West. Hesh has engaged—we found Harp.” 
There’s an instantaneous response, worried breath. “Solid copy…how’s she doing?”
“We need MedEvac immediately. She won’t last another night.” There’s a curse on the other end, a loud and quick call to the rest of his squad. 
“Copy! I’ll call it in!” Keegan tries to stabilize you as Hesh and Rorke rip each other to shreds, and Hesh, who had the upper hand in the beginning, is quickly losing it.
“Awe, look who tracked ‘er down!” Rorke snatches at Hesh’s collar and lays two jabs to his ribs—there’s a definitive crack as the younger man shouts in pain. “Young love! So fucking pointless.” 
“I’m going to rip you into pieces,” Hesh bares his teeth, eyes wild and unrestrained. For a moment Rorke looks taken aback by the utter conviction in his green gaze. “And make you choke on your own damn teeth! You hear me?!” 
Ripping away with a tear of fabric, Hesh bends low and tackles the former Ghost to the ground, splaying him out on his back before his fist is snapped back and brought down; again and again and again. 
“Hesh!” Keegan shouts, pressing deeply into your wounds and trying to give you fluids with one hand. “This fucking kid.” The Sergeant gives up, shaking his head. 
Trust had to be given, and Keegan knew that at this moment he had to trust Hesh to hold his own. He needed to keep you conscious. 
“Easy, Harp.” You can feel the cracks in your dry throat as the water seeps past them, and you cough up droplets before the blue-eyed Sergeant tilts your head and helps you. “Easy, Sweetheart.” 
Keegan doesn’t even want to look at your body as the brutal sounds of a fist on bone continue, clothes scuffling and gargled breaths—the savagery and barbarous remnants of mental and physical torture too much even for him. 
“Christ,” he hisses. 
You gulp down water slowly and let it fill your stomach like a brick. 
Hesh reduces Rorke’s face to a mess of flesh and busted bone, sweating and not even stopping as his knuckles split under his gloves or his fingers dislocated from their sockets. His eyes burn, his face goes red—he looks insane. 
He looks like a spirit of utter revenge. 
Only when Logan and Merrick drag him off the spasming body does he stop, but not after he tries like hell to fight out of that hold as well. Whipping around, he attempts to land a punch on Merrick before Logan is forced to put him in a restraint hold. 
Hesh’s cheek meets the mud, face being sunk into it as his right arm is twisted so far behind his back it nearly breaks. The older brother growls, free arm and legs moving—back sliding. 
“David!” Merrick barks at him, face pulled in a sneer, enraged at the man’s lack of sense. “Shut this shit down. Look at her, dammit!” Logan gets bucked off, but the youngest Walker boy has enough sense to wrestle him back down and grab onto his chin; forcing those green eyes to lock on you and Keegan. 
The second he sees you, he entirely freezes.
Merrick sighs out harshly, jogging over to you and already checking in with the MedEvac that Kick’s flying in. There would be no resistance—all the other hostiles were dead. 
“Jesus Christ,” the Commander breathes, kneeling by you instantly and studying your body. 
Hesh’s reaction is slower, but the spread of vile tears burns the back of his eyes. Logan lets him go at seeing this, standing and holding out a hand, but the brunette stays on the ground a moment longer; utterly still. 
Hesh’s mouth opens and closes. 
All at once he’s rushing over and limping up at your side as Merrick grabs more medical supplies from his packs to help you. 
“Oh my God,” Hesh breathes, and Keegan sends him a glance. You’d drank all of the water. “Harp, hey, you’re going to be okay—it’s gonna be alright, you hear? I’m right here, Logan and I are gonna get you home. Back to California, okay? Riley’s waitin’ for you, Doll.”
You flinch at that voice, and Merrick looks sharply at the blue-eyed Sergeant. Their eyes lock, holding for a long moment. Logan’s brows tighten in confusion. 
The brunette seems not to notice it at all, hands finding your cheek before Merrick can give him a warning. Your eyes slowly shift to him before they peel back with fear.
Hesh’s vision goes glossy, clenching his jaw. “Shit, what did he do to you—”
“Hesh!” 
You yell and yerk back, shoving the man off of you with a fear-filled sob. 
“No!” Keegan and Merrick grapple to keep you down, not wanting to aggravate your wounds as Hesh falls to his ass, hands slapping behind him before he hisses and brings them back up. He blinks quickly in confusion and panic.
Logan rushes over and hides him from your view, beginning to understand what was going on. 
“No!” You call again, Keegan having to hold your head into his chest to hide you away. Merrick yells down his comms to hurry the Helo up, and that he doesn’t care about anything else. “No,” your voice gargles off as you sob into Keegan. “Please, no more.”
“Shh,” the Sergeant mutters, looking over his shoulder at a pale and shaking Hesh. “Nothin’s going to happen to you. Not anymore.” 
“Harp,” Hesh whispers, jaw slackened. “I…I don’t…”
“Hallucinogens,” Merrick says grimly, watching you shake and wail. Logan has to look away, his fists clenching. “Who knows what she’s seen. Reckon it wasn’t anything good.”
It’s like he doesn’t hear anything besides your cries. Whenever you gasp Hesh tenses as if he wants to run to you—comfort you the best way he knows how. 
Hallucinogens? He thinks and feels tears dribble down his cheeks as he blinks, rubbing at his jaw and shakily placing a hand over the back of his neck. Logan puts a heavy grip on his shoulder, weighing them down even more.
Rorke’s death should have been a time of celebration—of honoring the fallen. Elias Walker, Ajax, and countless others. The Federation was nothing more than broken factions now. Dust to the wind. 
But no one can celebrate when they’re trying to fix one of their own.
You were being kept in the secure medical ward under twenty-four-hour surveillance and around-the-clock care; only Keegan was allowed in, seeing as you were the closest to him outside of Logan and Hesh and had no adverse effects to his presence. 
Merrick had said he didn’t want to risk Logan going in, as it might worsen things. Hesh was taking it hard. 
He just got you back, how was this right? How was it fair that you’d had to go through that right when it was supposed to be over and done with? The man got sick over it, thinking about what Rorke had done to…break your mind like he had. 
Two months. 
Two months of nightmares plaguing him, of your eyes when you looked at him. If Hesh had just been stronger, then that bastard would never have dragged you away on that beach. He resulted in working out more, running laps around Fort Santa Monica with Riley at three in the morning—he grew bags under his eyes. He grew quiet. 
When all of his broken ribs and fingers healed, the artificial wounds, he was offered awards for taking down Rorke; even a summon by the President. 
He’d denied all of them. 
If a medal was going to get you better faster, he’d have taken them in an instant. But he wasn’t that stupid. Hesh was withering, and everyone saw it. He loved you more than anything—more than fame or recognition. The man lay awake at night fearing that you were too cold or uncomfortable in the far-off ward, he was paranoid about your safety. 
More often than not, the nurses found him and Riley fitfully sleeping outside of your door on the hard ground, arm used as a pillow. They didn’t have the heart to move him.
In the last two weeks before the third month of your isolation and evaluations, in his nighttime routine, Hesh finds your door open. 
He stares at it now with a blank expression, fatigue once burning his eyes all gone for a deep and pounding panic. With a hand gesture, Riley halts and sits, and, sensing his handler’s mood, lets his ears go straight up in attention. 
Hesh reaches for the gun in the back of his pants, peeling it out slowly and taking a nearly silent step forward. Ready, his ears strain for a sound…but there is none. 
His free hand reaches for the door, the short sleeves of his gray sleep-shirt bunching. A moment later, he lightly taps the barrier farther out before entering the room with the gun drawn.
He said he wouldn’t get distracted, but it would be a lie to say his eyes didn’t immediately go to you. 
You were there, asleep, curled up on the far recliner chair instead of the bed. Head lulled to the side and knees kept close to your chest. But it was the scars that broke Hesh.
They were large and long—on your face and arms; legs. All moving and stretching like a child’s drawing up your sleep shorts and shirt, disappearing only to reappear somewhere else. Healed over but still fresh.
Hesh drops the gun and turns his body slightly away, staring at the side wall before he takes an unsteady breath. He re-hides his weapon and turns to leave, not seeing anyone else.
Maybe Keegan had forgotten to close the door…he’d have to chew him out for that. Already a dull point of anger was making his jaw clench at the sly older man.
“Bastard,” Hesh mutters.
Before he can exit and close the door softly behind him, he hears a broken squeak of alarm. He halts as you stare heavily into his back—awoken by the sound of nearly silent feet. In a steady motion, the man’s hands are by his sides, open and visibly holding nothing. 
“I was just leaving,” Hesh whispers, not looking at you. His heart hammers. “I’m sorry, I thought someone else was in here—the door was open, okay?” 
Your hands twitch, body still and breath held tight.
“Hesh?” He flinches, eyes closed tight. 
Don’t look at her. Don’t turn around. Leave.
“Are you really…him?” You ask silently, eyes darting nervously around the room and quickly waking up fully. 
It’s a moment before he answers you. 
“Yeah,” he forces out, voice tiny and sad. “Yeah, it’s me, Doll. Just David Walker.” 
Your throat bobs with a thin swallow. Treatment was still ongoing, but it’s not every day you wake up to find the man who you had nightmares about standing in your room. 
Breathe, you have to remind yourself. It was the drugs. Not Hesh. Never Hesh. Rorke.
But you were still scared. 
“I…I need to see your eyes,” you say. 
Hesh turns carefully, staring hard at the floor. His heart lurches, hands going clammy. 
What if she has a setback? He asks himself. What if I mess this up…Shit, Hesh, you couldn’t have minded your own business?
Oh, but he never could when it came to you. 
“Then look at me, Sweetheart.” The man breathes slowly, darting his eyes up to your face. “They only belong to you.”
But your gaze can’t slip to his sockets, only able to glare fearfully into his neck. But this Hesh felt different, more like the one you grew up with—those memories still coming back but tainted; you need to see green, but it was hurting you to think that you might not.
“I’m scared,” you admit, shakily. The man’s thighs tense, but he stops himself before he can go and take you into his arms. That wouldn’t help. “I’m…I don’t know what’s real anymore.”
“I’m real. I swear to you, Harp, I’m real. I’m right here and I’ll wait for you as long as it takes. Even if it’s years, I will always be right here.” He pleads, hands still at his sides and going nowhere if you don’t tell him to. It’s like a floodgate opens, months of internal pain and heartbreak spilling out. You needed to know this, even if he never got to see you again. 
“I have loved you since I saw you get jealous over Cassie Albrook in seventh grade and tried to hide it because you thought she made me happy—she could never make me happy, Harp. That was you. That was always and will always be you. I…I can’t breathe when you’re not near me, I don’t know how to act right when you’re hurt. Seeing you hurting is…is…” Hesh’s voice breaks and he falls silent. 
“Please, if you need to look into my eyes, I’m beggin’ you, Sweetheart, please, do it. Even if it’s only one glance.” Your breath is stuck in your throat, tears welling and sliding down your cheeks. 
In your skull your brain pounds, bordering on hysteria and an urge to flee. There was so little that you trusted anymore. Keegan, yes—the nurses and doctors? You had no choice there. 
You knew that the Hesh you’d seen in the pit was Rorke, Keegan had explained it all to you after the drugs had been pumped from your system; you understood that part. But it didn’t make the sickening confusion any better.
Symptoms of severe PTSD, paranoia, anxiety—you’d seen the charts when the nurses thought you weren’t looking at them. 
You still wouldn’t let anyone with a needle anywhere close to you, had to be put under for it. 
But you’d been so lonely here. A simple kiss seared into your mind before the horror set in, a stain of a smile on your lips. A chest vibrating with a content purr. 
Hesh. You want your Hesh back. 
Taking a stuttering breath, your eyes dart upwards. You push through your misty gaze and lock on a color that can only be described as a grassy field of verdant growth. Great open plains of viridescent being—showing you a world bathed in tender belonging. 
Home. 
You sob and rush from the chair on legs that still hurt even now, meeting Hesh in the middle as he takes a step forward and wraps his arms around you. You’re covered and kept in a hold so tight it’s like he’ll never let you go, heart pounding and his face loose with shock.
But he says nothing beyond a loud shuttered exhale of relief, pressing you to his chest and burying his face into your scalp, breathing you in; taking you down like a sinner in church until all that remains is you. Your fingers digging into his shirt, your face in his neck, how you call his name as if calling a ghost back from the dead.
“Oh, my Girl.” Hesh chuckles through the tears in his eyes. “My Girl. I missed you so much, you won’t even believe it.” 
You push yourself into him tighter. 
Riley, at some point, had come to stand in the doorway, his dark beady eyes seeing only the colors in gray, brown, yellow, and blue, though that never truly mattered. Color was only half of the picture. 
And the rest of the image in front of him was seeped with the pigment of love. 
The dog’s tongue lulls from the side of his mouth, and in the air behind him, his tail moves back and forth into a soft arch.
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comradekatara · 18 days
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do you have a masterpost of "ty lee comes from crypto-air nomad" posts? I'm fascinated by this idea and want to read everything I can but I can't find where it started 😭
i feel like this is a question better posed to @kyoshi-lesbians, who, at least in my book, is the leading expert in ty lee studies (among other things). that said, i can definitely synthesize the argument (and why i find it cogent and persuasive), even if i don't actually know from where the theory originated (but i'm sure that if you look up "ty lee air nomad you'll immediately be directed to an old reddit page or fan forum from years ago; it's a "theory" that goes way back).
firstly, ty lee's appearance is distinctly "air nomadic" in a way no one else's is. save for aang, of course. she and aang do bear an uncanny resemblance. everyone else in the fire nation has yellowish brown eyes, for example, while ty lee, like aang, has charcoal greyish brown eyes. and they also have similar (round and cute) facial features, similar expressions, similar vibes. similar dispositions...
ty lee does not "have the personality" of a ruthless fire nation soldier, despite acting as the princess's right hand who takes out more opponents than pretty much everyone else put together. ty lee acts like an airbender, flirty and flighty. her relentless optimism and goodwill and cheer is decidedly a mask, but it is a mask she adopts adeptly. even if she is performing, she nonetheless performs the "aang" function of her respective group.
ty lee presents herself as more spiritually attuned than other people in the fire nation, who outright disrespect the spirits and spirituality. her constant talk of auras is likely a calculated move on her part, as nearly everything is, to make her seem silly and trivial, because she thrives best when she goes underestimated. but her talk of auras also has to come from somewhere, and seeing as literally no one else mentions auras once throughout the entire show, ty lee's sources are clearly scarce.
ty lee also fights like an airbender. despite generally taking the offensive, ty lee nonetheless exhibits a graceful, acrobatic quality when in combat. she never kills anyone either, merely incapacitates them momentarily. and when she is faced with stronger than typical opponents, she usually relies on her skills as an acrobat by taking the aerial advantage. note her ability to jump incredibly high, such as in "the chase," or her ability to run along a moving cable wire in "the boiling rock." ty lee's skills go beyond merely being a good acrobat. she's incredible. and perhaps even exhibiting some latent airbending skills she inherited from her ancestors.
ty lee's air nomad ancestry coheres really well with her arc as a character. imagining that her family of genocide survivors hid in the heart of the fire nation and assimilated into the imperialist culture that sought to exterminate them makes her own role that much more impactful. there's already a beautiful parallelism to the fact that ty lee is an acrobat and performer who contorts herself to suit the desires of others and performs obsequious loyalty for her own survival, but an extra layer of depth is added if she's also assimilating into the royal court by reducing herself and hiding her true feelings and motivations, just as her family did.
i see ty lee's ancestors as having assimilated into the imperial core out of fear, but over the generations, genuinely being subsumed into fire nation culture, with the desire to social climb a natural extension of their patriotism. but there are also still facets of ty lee's ancestry, whether genetic or otherwise, that have remained in traces. the generational trauma, for example, definitely reflects why her parents had so many children. and the fact that she's constantly torn between two worlds, as a genocide survivor who also directly serves the imperialists who murdered her ancestors, represents her internal struggle as someone who desires freedom of expression and the choice to assert her individuality, but is also forced through circumstance into lying and deflecting and manipulating (which, to be honest, is also the air nomad way) for the sake of survival.
surviving is ty lee's number one priority, in a way it just isn't for mai. mai and ty lee both come from social climbing families (although i've always assumed that mai's family is far wealthier than ty lee's) but mai is also depressed and frustrated and bored out of her mind. and even though she was raised in a family that forced her to don a mask and reduce herself and perform a passive model of femininity, she also has no problem stating aloud how she's feeling and what her limits are (with the exception of when azula gives her a veiled command as a test, and mai has no choice but to obey).
mai has the privilege of knowing that the stakes don't really matter, which she all but states when she claims that she grew up in luxury and opulence, and always had everything handed to her. which isn't to say that she led a perfect, easy life. she wouldn't be as depressed and repressed as she is if there weren't factors actively harming her, but she still chooses to join azula by choice, even if it's really only the illusion of choice between two awful options, whereas ty lee has to be coerced through violence.
mai kind of has a "fuck it we ball" attitude and doesn't really seem to care about her own safety (if anything, she's more concerned with comfort), whereas ty lee would do anything to ensure her survival. and that kind of mentality illustrates how she differs from most of the fire nation elites, who were inculcated into imperial privilege and never really considered what prioritizing survival even entails (zuko learns that lesson the hard way). ty really exhibits the mentality of the genocide victim/colonized subject through her prioritization of survival in the face of what to mai is a problem, but to ty lee is an existential threat.
whether or not ty lee even recognizes that her desperate desire to live comes from a place of generational grief and trauma is another story, but i do think there is something to be said for the fact that descendants of genocide survivors can feel that grief as it has been passed down to them. i think ty lee feels it, and i think that it motivates her to do whatever it takes to live, because above all, she is a survivor. and even if she has to assimilate and manipulate and cut away every part of herself that's real and authentic and true, she will do it (until she doesn't). and that's also, incidentally, what makes her such a great foil to aang.
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