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#domestice abuse
thedvwalkingwounded · 6 months
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Sunday DV Bible Study: Introduction Session
Sunday Bible Study on How God Views DV. Please Like, Follow, and Share my Blog!
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Previous Husband AU, Pt 7
((Content warning for abuse/domestic violence))
When the sun rises, Kara valiantly ventures out in search of pastries, giving Lena time to shower and dress without an audience. She must have needed it, because Lena is still in the bathroom when Kara returns, arms laden with krullers and claws.
A flash of white on the coffee table catches her eye as she deposits her spoils in the kitchen. It's Lena's journal from the night before, she discovers when she goes to investigate, still lying open to the page full of scribbled notes.
Kara knows it isn't meant for her. But her eye can't help but skip over the page, when she goes to close it. Itemized points of the red flags Lena had mentioned the night before sear themselves into her vision, mostly various arguments instigated and escalated by either side-- and then she sees it.
Insisted on sex.
Underlined, and followed by a series of tick marks tallying the number of instances Lena could apparently recall.
Kara snaps the book shut, then straightens with a hand over her mouth as her stomach churns. Guilt claws at her, wrapping around her stomach like a python until she can hardly breathe.
She should have fought harder. She shouldn't have taken the snubs personally. She should have given Lena the benefit of the doubt, over and over again. Because she's earned it-- hasn't she? They may not have known each other as long as some, but there's no denying that their connection ran deeper than just casual acquaintances.
Kara should have stayed with Lena. If she had, maybe--
"Hey," Lena calls, stepping out of the bathroom. Wringing the water from her hair with one of Kara's towels, she looks at her host in concern. "Everything okay?"
Turning towards Lena, Kara moves towards her and wraps her arms around her friend without a word. Lena's arms reflexively wrap around her in return, squeezing her firmly.
"What brought this on?"
Kara just shrugs. "Just needed a hug. I've missed them."
She feels Lena smile against her. "Well, in that case..."
Lena's grip turns vise-like, nearly suffocating her. Kara melts into it, unable to help the giggle that bubbles up in her chest. Lena's own giggle joins in a moment later.
"Careful," Lena warns. "A girl could get used to this."
Kara smirks into Lena's shoulder. "You better," she mumbles.
They stay there for a long moment, neither of them interested in stepping away. The guilt comes back, clicking in Kara's throat, strangling the whisper that eventually issues its way out.
"I'm sorry," she says. "I let you go..."
"Don't." The word comes sharp and sure. "I wasn't treating you like a friend should. You had every right to put yourself first--"
Kara withdraws, wiping her eyes as surreptitiously as she can, which is not much when she's unwilling to move more than a step from her friend.
"I ghosted you. You deserved to know what I was feeling, and why I bailed. I'm sorry I just shut down instead of trying to talk to you about it."
Lena gazes at her thoughtfully. After a moment, she nods.
"Okay," she says firmly, using her non-toweled hand to grip Kara's fingers. "You need me to be here for you, and I will be, as much as I can. And in return I need you to communicate with me-- the good and the bad. Because you're right, I'm not a mind reader, and I can't guess at what you're feeling if you don't talk to me."
Lena holds Kara's gaze intently, then smiles. "The rest we'll figure out together, okay?"
On the cusp of tears again, Kara responds by surging towards Lena, wrapping her up in another big hug. Lena returns it just as fiercely as before, and this time her head rests against the side of Kara's.
"I'm glad you're here," Kara murmurs. "I'm only sorry it took this long for it to happen."
Lena nods. "Me too." Then, "but that's it for apologies, okay? I'm tired of crying."
Kara laughs, pulling back with a grin.
"Agreed." She tilts her head towards the kitchen. "Bear claw?"
"Oh, god, yes."
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fatummortem · 8 months
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I'm very sorry everyone, i took a breather for my own mental health & forgot to make a post, I did not expect to go quiet for this long. I am working on a few things, redirections from a road block if you will. My daughter & a few friends had a few crisis' of their own as well, so I was helping out with that too while helping myself.
I'm not sure when I'll be back, if it'll be tomorrow or next week, no promises are going to be made, I do plan on writing still so i will be back, it may be low activity still as I work on things. I am on discord if anyone wishes to nudge me.
I do have some good news, i'm slapping it beneath a read more for anyone who doesn't like negative, it's a positive with negative things so i'm just being safe with it. It has to do with what's been going on here. Pls pay attention to the trigger warning in my tags before clicking on the read more.
So, my roommate kicked out & dumped her abusive boyfriend. Not sure if it was on her own or if it was one of the times i let my mouth get away from me. As i point blank told one of her close friends she's not helping the situation by giving the a-hole a script of lies to work from. My dramatic reaction to seing her the last time & asking if she needs first aid.... That tale is long so I will just say, I woke up one day, he was gone, she told me he wasn't coming back. She gave me a number to a cop's cellphone to be used if he shows up. She also called everyone that would have given him a ride here & had a chat with them about things until they changed their mind & told him it's not happening. So I am ecstatic.
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hellsmayflower · 7 months
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which scar was caused by the worst wound?
are they proud of their scar?
how many scars does your muse have?
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SCAR-THEMED HEADCANONS
{{ Where she defended a 3 year old child against his alcoholic abusive mother from her using a broken beer bottle that she stayed with when she was in foster care. }} {{ She was proud of it because she was 9 years old. }} {{ 4 from most of the abuse and trauma she endured as both a child and a teen. On her shoulder from behind,her lower back,on her ankle,and on a small one on her left wrist. }}
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blueskiesagain · 1 year
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My sister and her husband are getting married which technically they already did but then they separated bc (I later found out) she has been HITTING and CHOKING him and she eventually moved out of their house but now they're going through couples therapy and going through with having a big wedding (with all their friends and family bc they eloped the first time) and she's still living with my parents and the wedding is SEPTEMBER and jfc like PLEASE JUST GET DIVORCED
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okay the iwtv tag is so rife with all the people going off about how theyre disgusted at the idea of a redemption arc for lestat bc domestice abuse, how the writers are disgustung for eirting domestic abuse etc like. girl. have you never read a book before. do you know what fiction is. look at me. if you dont like it dont watch it.
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hypermania · 2 years
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Courtney I hope you're doing okay. I know seeing all this shit must be hard on you. *Hugs*
cw: domestice abuse/domestic violence
yeahhhhhhh watching the entire world just hang amber heard out to dry is... well it's getting to me a little more than i expected. is nobody gonna stand up and say actually this isn't okay??? taika waititi, mara wilson, charisma carpenter, lance bass, rahul kohli, gemma chan, amanda knox, jennifer aniston, perrie edwards, zacahry levi, henry goulding, ashley benson, dakota johnson, sharon stone, kat dennings, maren morris, and it goes on and on and on and on.
this feels a lot like sitting around a table celebrating my ex getting a promotion that put him in a position of even greater power than he already had over a vulnerable group of people (because nobody deserved it more than he did! such a great guy!) meanwhile he's making eye contact with me from across the table and i know he's thinking about the same thing i'm thinking about: him throwing a wrench at my head earlier that day and how i'm not going to say a single thing about it. because who would believe me anyway.
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iomontecillo · 2 years
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Esther’s story told by Denmark’s Nation Museum in the 1800’s Can be understood by recognizing the repeated pattern played out since since the time of Ibn Fadladn in the 900’s. Ibn Fadladn was made a diplomat in 920, and the Danish King Harald “Bluetooth” was Christensen in 965. Ibn Fadladn’s accounts coincide with the period of christianization of Europe, which involved organized rape: initiated by 1) religious conversion, 2) isolation and then 3) secularization. The methods of “conversion” in the Ottoman Empire was later called “retrenchment”, which was the act of “firing to demote to domesticize”. Hurem, for example, who became the singular wife of Suleiman, replacing Polyandry (multiple spouses) was a priest’s daughter and repeatedly chased, which is a method described specifically in “the seduction industry” of modern times, the 1800’s and even in psychiatric history in the 1500’s. This methods of “religious conversion” followed by illegal hostage-taking is repeatedly described as the stabdard “recruitment” procedure in military processes in any given culture. That was the case for the Romans, it was the case for the Ottomans and many women taken/invited for various purposes during the White slavetrade. The White slavetrade (Agnete Birger Madsen, 2008) from 1870-1925 was replaced by actransition period of nazi published propaganda involving erotisized violence against women performed as a ritual, which historically mimics the description of Ibn Fadladn’s viking, thereby bearing witness to a longstanding practice of kidnapping though sheer deception with the full intention of carrying put an entire prolonged procession of abuse finalized in what is called Snuff; which would be a real murder recorded. That would be a clear violation of not only Human rights, but also of the most basic property laws. Once “consent” starts being mentioned the period of time having lapsed already excludes that as “an argument”. The arguments of “mentally incapable” also Fall outside of eligibility as Well as “criminally insane” once a matter is directly addressed. “Delusional” would require logical argumentation or evidence, and abuse Can be proven. https://www.instagram.com/p/CjhsqqgsKH8/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
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pickledeyes · 2 years
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people only care about male victims during this trial because they want to shit on a woman. which is sad because men who suffer domestice abuse deserve support to help them get out of those relationships & heal, not so everyone can get the chance to be violently misogynistic online and hide behind “amber is scum anyways” when they’d never given the likes of fucking harvey weinstein that kind of vitriol. anyway, fuck depp and fuck his legal team.
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witch-tothestars · 3 years
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Thinking about the fact that my ex bf forbid me from hanging out with him & his friends because everytime I did I either "monopolized the conversation" or "acted weird and made everyone uncomfortable".
Of course, me monopolizing the conversation was really just me having conversation and his friends responding to me and talking back to me, making him jealous that he wasn't the "centre of attention" or making him worried that they would end up liking me more than they liked him.
And me being weird and making everyone uncomfortable, was really just me trying to make up for him telling me I needed to learn how to shut the fuck up. So I would, and I would stay quiet and try not to talk, but that wasn't enough for him either. He wanted something in the middle, so he would tell me how much his friends hate me or how much people hate me when I get quiet like that.
And now, everytime I talk in groups, I immediately apologize for speaking up. And, usually, I just don't interject in group conversations nowadays, because all I can think about is how they'll be annoyed with me for speaking. But then I beat myself up thinking how weird they must think I am and how much they hate me for not talking.
When in reality?? Nobody cares!
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amphorographia · 5 years
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As much as I hate him as a character, Leonard Peabody/Harold Jenkins is such a perfect characterisation of the way abusive relationships evolve.
They start kind, they isolate you, they convince you they are the only ones on your side, and they take advantage of that trust.
That, I think, is why he makes such a fantastic villain. In a world full of superheroes and crazy powers, the truest evils are able to manifest in anyone. Vanya is never the real villain.
NEW ASSIGNMENT: PROTECT HAROLD JENKINS
That is the most significant part of the whole apocalypse narrative. One abusive, manipulative man can end the world. Now that is a powerful narrative. After all, "the devil doesn't come dressed in a red cape and pointy horns, he comes dressed as everything you've ever wished for."
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flamingbluepanda · 4 years
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I rarely talk about unus annus on this blog and I’m proud to say that I haven’t seen a bit of this happening but I’m telling you know if I see anyone clowning and talking shit about mark for opening up about and/or staying in an abusive relationship I am going to break your fucking spine
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theabusediary · 5 years
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Survivor Confessions (2)
I struggle to say no even when I absolutely need to.
Submit confessions here.
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shortkingkirk · 4 years
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When two of your coworkers mention in the same day that one of your other coworkers is addicted to coke and gets beat by her bf on the regular
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trauma-13 · 5 years
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Recently, a woman I respect and think very highly of told her story of domestic violence when she was around my age. I've been very quiet about my own struggle with domestic violence from a past relationship. However, I think in light of her own bravery, it's time I tell my own story. Fair warning, long post and domestic violence trigger warning.
It was 2014 when I got into a relationship with my ex. We had met online, like so many relationships do now a days. Everything seemed great, he seemed like a wonderful guy. Treated me well, gave me attention, promised me all the silly things boys always promise.
Looking back, there were red flags from the start that I just never saw at the time. Everything is great through rose colored glasses, you know.
He lived 3ish hours away from where I live. So after about 6ish months into our relationship, he chose to move to the city I lived in. He was supposed to only stay with my roommates and I for a short time until he got his own place. However, he moved in fully after about a month of looking for apartments of his own.
I'm not going to go full into detail about all of the red flags leading up to the blow up. However, I will tell you, there were so many signs of abuse. Emotional and physical that I ignored. He had pushed me on multiple occasions, pinned me against the kitchen counter and yelled in my face, would physically abuse my dogs when I wasn't home, would constantly tell me I wasn't good enough and that I was lucky to have him.
Fast forward to June of 2017, I decided (with the help of two my very, very close friends) that I needed a vacation. I flew to New York and spent about 4 days in upstate with them. While I was there, I received so much love and support from them and other people I had just met. I was also witnessing what a normal, adult, functional relationship was. All while I was in NY, my ex was constantly calling and texting me accusing me of cheating on him. He was making threats towards myself, my two best friends I was with, and other friends of mine as well as my dogs. It was that trip that I decided when I got back to Arizona, I was leaving him. I had even contacted my mom and let her know I needed her help with my dogs, because I knew he would hurt them, in order to hurt me. For the remainder of the trip, I chose to play along and reassure him that I wanted to be with him, in order to protect my dogs while I was in New York. I had my mind made up, I just needed money in order to get away from him.
When I got home he was cold, and dark towards me. He wouldn't talk to me, at all beyond yelling at me and accusing me of cheating. I was terrified to be at home, I was terrified to leave because my dogs would be alone with him. I lived in fear because of him.
Shortly after I got home from NY, my best friend and I went to look at apartments so I had a plan lined up for when I left. My plan was for him to go to work, I would pack up my stuff, and leave him. I didn't see any other way out, without risking my life and my dogs.
The day her and I were looking at apartments, he called me, hysterical, yelling, and threatening again. He had logged into my computer and onto Tumblr and saw messages between another friend and I about my plans to leave him. I've never in my life driven so fast, and dangerously to get home to my dogs and protect them.
When I got home, he was pacing, screaming at me, and holding a knife. He had the dogs harnesses on, and kept telling me to say goodbye to them because it would be the last time I saw them. My best friend was waiting outside, and had called the police and informed them what is going on and that she was afraid he would attack me.
It felt like hours arguing with him, and pleading for him to let me take the dogs and for him to leave. The entire time he was holding the knife and would occasionally stab towards me, although he never made contact. I remember very vividly thinking "okay, if he stabs me, I know what to do. I'm a medical professional and I can save myself," my biggest concern was for my dogs lives, not my own.
After an eternity (or maybe it was just 30 minutes, I don't know) he grabbed my dogs leashes and left through the garage. He had no idea Mesa PD was outside. As soon as he saw PD, he dropped their leashes and lunged at me. Thankfully I was far enough behind him and around the car, he couldn't get to me. Everything after happened in such a blur, I know my best friend grabbed the dogs and put them in her car and that he was then on the ground with tazers and guns aimed at him. He was cuffed, and pinned against the wall by two police officers, while the 3rd officer walked me past him to guarantee my safety. He was yelling the entire time, screaming at me for being a selfish horrible person, that I was making a mistake, and that he would make me regret every thing. I was in hysterics, crying into this poor cop while my best friend got the dogs situated in the car. I don't remember much of my conversation with the officer, except him saying "this is your opportunity to get out, you need to take it,"
I watched them put him in a the squad car, with him yelling at me the entire time, and I was still terrified of him. What if he got out? What if he found me? I chose to stay with my friend because 1. He had no clue where she lived. 2. I knew it was a comfortable place for myself and the dogs until I could get into an apartment.
For months I was terrified, every sudden movement or loud noise around me made me jump and start to panic. I was afraid to go to work because he knew where it was, same with school. I was afraid to go into public places for fear of him being there. Although I had a restraining order against him, that only does so much until police arrive if he was to show up.
A few months after, James came into the picture. We had been friends for years, however that was it. He was one of the first people I confided in over what happened. Still to this day, I've never seen him that angry. He was furious that I had gone through that and had been made to live in fear for so long. He was one of the few people I felt safe around. I made the choice to tell my coworkers what had occurred, that way incase he showed up, I had help. Every night I had an escort to my car by one of the male nurses or techs, if James wasn't working. My tribe of support had continued to grow, and expand, when a few short weeks prior I thought I had no body.
I'm still anxious. I still worry. I still get nervous going into a restaurant, or store that I'll see him. I still have nightmares about him killing my dogs. I've woken up in tears and panic more times than I can count, just to realize he's no where near and that we are safe.
Everything occurred nearly 2 years ago, and I'm still recovering from it. I didn't write this as a sob story, or to get sympathy. I wanted to tell my story, to hopefully help others realize they are not alone. Domestic violence is a very real, and dangerous problem within the United States. So many people are killed prior to being able to leave, or are in fear of leaving because of the unknown of afterwards.
I'm so thankful I was able to get out before something drastic happened to myself or the dogs. I'm so thankful for my amazing tribe of friends and family who stood with me, and had my back when he trashed my name. I'm so thankful for James for showing me what love truly is, and how relationships should be. If anyone who sees this wants to talk about their own experiences or has questions, I am open and willing. Everyone deserves safety, and happiness. Nobody should have to live in fear.
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Bruises - Ben Hardy X Reader
Summary: Ben finds out about abusive boyfriend and protects you.
Warnings: HUGE TRIGGER WARNING, domestice violence, fluff.
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You had woken up with your eye throbbing, a sore throat, feeling like you were still being strangled. You looked over at the still asleep monster that you have been dating for 6 months now. It was great at first, the abuse only started after 2 months, and from that point onwards you were too afraid to leave, afraid he would kill you.
The only people that knew of the abuse was your flatmate, Maxine, and your best friend, Josh, not because you told them, but because they often either heard the beatings or saw the aftermath.
Maxine often begged you to leave him, Josh often threatened to kill him, but they both understood your fear, and they soon dropped it, after realising how dangerous it could be for you.
You climbed out of bed, threw on your tights and an old hoodie, placing sunglasses on your face, trying your best to hide your new bruises. You left the room as quietly as possible trying not to wake up the monster.
That’s when you noticed Ben, Joe and Gwilym had all come over, sitting in the living room, having coffee with Maxine and Josh. Luckily, you on your way out for a walk anyway, you quickly moved past the living room, trying to avoid the stares, giving a nod of your head to greet them, unable to speak. You then left, going to walk amongst your thoughts before having to say a word.
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While you were gone…
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A long sigh came from Maxine as they all watched you leave the flat. She looked back at Josh, a concerned expression on both their faces. The three boys had no idea what was happening, but they knew it wasn’t good.
Ben always had feelings for you, but he hid them, knowing you were in a relationship. You also had feelings for Ben, you so desperately wanted to run into his arms and tell him everything that goes on, begging him to protect you. But you were too afraid, however, if you had realised that the monster was actually intimidated by Ben, you would have left him for Ben a lot sooner.
“Did you see those new bruises?” Josh broke the silence, staring at Maxine.
“Yes, she tried to hide them, but she didn’t do a great job at it.” Maxine sighed, staring at where you had once been, “Her and Nic had a fight again last night.”
“What are you talking about?!” Ben piped in, now frustrated about what he doesn’t know about you.
“Nic, he hurts Y/N, its been going on for months, she’s too afraid to leave him and we are too afraid for her safety to do anything.” Maxine sighed, Josh’s fist started to clench as she explained.
The boys were left speechless. Gwilym’s mouth was agape, not sure what to say. Joe stared at the floor, processing everything. Bens face was the definition of pure fury, he was angry with Nic for what he does, with you for not telling him, and at himself for not realising you were in pain.
“What was the fight about this time?” Josh asked, ignoring the boys’ expressions.
“I think it was actually about you, Ben.” Maxine answered, looking at Ben, who suddenly looked up, heartbreak and guilt on his face.
“He’s threatened by you, he thinks your closeness with Y/N means she is sleeping with you or something. He will never confront you, for some reason he is also terrified of you. So he takes out on her, the more she denies something is going on, the more angry he gets, and the more aggressive.”
“But nothing is going on!” Ben raised his voice. “And why don’t you do something, you live with her?!”
Your flatmate was starting to get angry now, “I can’t do anything! She will never forgive me if I did something! Do you know how much it breaks my heart to hear her get beaten and beaten, over and over again. Hearing her cries, his yells, a few weeks ago it was so bad I had to rush her into Casualty because he refused to!”
This shut Ben up. Josh sighed, “Where is he now?”
“He is still in her room, he didn’t want to leave out of fear that she will run to Ben for help.”
All the men’s heads looked up, realisation hitting them that the man that causes their friend so much pain, is right in there, vulnerable. Maxine’s eyes widened, out of realisation of what they had planned. “No, she will never forgive you. And what if this causes her more danger?!”
“You said it yourself, he is terrified of Ben, if we were all to beat him shitless, including Ben, he might get the point.” Joe finally spoke.
Maxine soon gave up, as the men all entered your bedroom.
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You entered the flat, tear stained face, terrified of the fact that the monster is still in there. Maxine was in the kitchen, wrapping Josh’s hand, Joe and Gwilym were standing next to her, holding their own hands. Ben was sitting by the window, staring out of it, lost in thought.
“What happened?” You croaked, gaining the attention of everybody. “Where’s Nic?” You started to panic.
“He’s gone.” Josh replied, “We took care of him for good this time.”
You stared at him in shock, processing what he was telling you, not realising Ben had approached you slowly, now standing in front of you.
“He won’t hurt you anymore.” Ben stroked your cheek, taking off your sunglasses, revealing your purple bruise. His felt a split second of anger from seeing the bruise, but then his face softened.
Tears started to fall down your cheeks, realising you were now safe. Everyone left the room, leaving you and Ben alone.
You both stared at each other for a while, before you noticed his red knuckles, now breaking down in tears, falling into his arms. He protected you, he was one of the ones that saved your life. He gently shushed you, stroking your hair, letting your tears stain his shirt.
“I can’t …. believe …. He’s gone.” You cried out.
Ben lifted your head to look at him, you could start to see the tears threatening to fall out of his own eyes, making them sparkle more.
“He will never bother you again. If he ever comes near you, we will take care of him. You never have to be afraid again. You deserve someone who is kind to you, you will beat themselves before even thinking of hurting you. Who will cry at the sight of you in pain.” His tears started to fall at his own words, looking at your bruises, making him cry harder.
You started to cry as well, both of you soon slid down to the floor, both crying, holding onto each other. You never wanted to leave his embrace, and you started to realise how much you actually loved him.
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