#tw: domestice abuse

[fatummortem]

I'm very sorry everyone, i took a breather for my own mental health & forgot to make a post, I did not expect to go quiet for this long. I am working on a few things, redirections from a road block if you will. My daughter & a few friends had a few crisis' of their own as well, so I was helping out with that too while helping myself.

I'm not sure when I'll be back, if it'll be tomorrow or next week, no promises are going to be made, I do plan on writing still so i will be back, it may be low activity still as I work on things. I am on discord if anyone wishes to nudge me.

I do have some good news, i'm slapping it beneath a read more for anyone who doesn't like negative, it's a positive with negative things so i'm just being safe with it. It has to do with what's been going on here. Pls pay attention to the trigger warning in my tags before clicking on the read more.

So, my roommate kicked out & dumped her abusive boyfriend. Not sure if it was on her own or if it was one of the times i let my mouth get away from me. As i point blank told one of her close friends she's not helping the situation by giving the a-hole a script of lies to work from. My dramatic reaction to seing her the last time & asking if she needs first aid.... That tale is long so I will just say, I woke up one day, he was gone, she told me he wasn't coming back. She gave me a number to a cop's cellphone to be used if he shows up. She also called everyone that would have given him a ride here & had a chat with them about things until they changed their mind & told him it's not happening. So I am ecstatic.

#ooc #ooc update #domestice abuse tw #tw domestic abuse #cw mention - domestic abuse #ironically to like zen out with the bs before this i was playing the murder hobo in bg3.... well i still am. it's surprisingly very relaxin

[blueskiesagain]

My sister and her husband are getting married which technically they already did but then they separated bc (I later found out) she has been HITTING and CHOKING him and she eventually moved out of their house but now they're going through couples therapy and going through with having a big wedding (with all their friends and family bc they eloped the first time) and she's still living with my parents and the wedding is SEPTEMBER and jfc like PLEASE JUST GET DIVORCED

#tw domestice abuse #like holy fucking shit #ive always known she has an anger problem #and then she just CASUALLY REVEALED THAT SHE BEATS HER HUSBAND LIKE WTF #I FEEL LIKE IM TAKING CRAZY PILLS #they met 2 momths before my wedding #and she bought a wedding dress while i was on my honeymoon #yes you read that right #my sister bought her wedding dress after 3 months of dating #a full fucking 4 MONTHS before they even got engaged #then she got pregnant and they got married like #exactly a year after they started dating #and then first anniversary #she gets kicked out of the house bc of the aforementioned physical abuse #and im over here just trying to live my damn life #like i really REALLY thought she changed after having her first kid #diasterwedding

[shortkingkirk]

When two of your coworkers mention in the same day that one of your other coworkers is addicted to coke and gets beat by her bf on the regular

#LiIKE #?????? #apparently theyve tried getting her away from the bf multiple times but like??? what #tw: cocaine #tw: domestice abuse #tw: violence

[flamingbluepanda]

I rarely talk about unus annus on this blog and I’m proud to say that I haven’t seen a bit of this happening but I’m telling you know if I see anyone clowning and talking shit about mark for opening up about and/or staying in an abusive relationship I am going to break your fucking spine

#markiplier #unus annus #this is a THREAT #domestice abuse tw #violence tw

[trauma-13]

Recently, a woman I respect and think very highly of told her story of domestic violence when she was around my age. I've been very quiet about my own struggle with domestic violence from a past relationship. However, I think in light of her own bravery, it's time I tell my own story. Fair warning, long post and domestic violence trigger warning.

It was 2014 when I got into a relationship with my ex. We had met online, like so many relationships do now a days. Everything seemed great, he seemed like a wonderful guy. Treated me well, gave me attention, promised me all the silly things boys always promise.

Looking back, there were red flags from the start that I just never saw at the time. Everything is great through rose colored glasses, you know.

He lived 3ish hours away from where I live. So after about 6ish months into our relationship, he chose to move to the city I lived in. He was supposed to only stay with my roommates and I for a short time until he got his own place. However, he moved in fully after about a month of looking for apartments of his own.

I'm not going to go full into detail about all of the red flags leading up to the blow up. However, I will tell you, there were so many signs of abuse. Emotional and physical that I ignored. He had pushed me on multiple occasions, pinned me against the kitchen counter and yelled in my face, would physically abuse my dogs when I wasn't home, would constantly tell me I wasn't good enough and that I was lucky to have him.

Fast forward to June of 2017, I decided (with the help of two my very, very close friends) that I needed a vacation. I flew to New York and spent about 4 days in upstate with them. While I was there, I received so much love and support from them and other people I had just met. I was also witnessing what a normal, adult, functional relationship was. All while I was in NY, my ex was constantly calling and texting me accusing me of cheating on him. He was making threats towards myself, my two best friends I was with, and other friends of mine as well as my dogs. It was that trip that I decided when I got back to Arizona, I was leaving him. I had even contacted my mom and let her know I needed her help with my dogs, because I knew he would hurt them, in order to hurt me. For the remainder of the trip, I chose to play along and reassure him that I wanted to be with him, in order to protect my dogs while I was in New York. I had my mind made up, I just needed money in order to get away from him.

When I got home he was cold, and dark towards me. He wouldn't talk to me, at all beyond yelling at me and accusing me of cheating. I was terrified to be at home, I was terrified to leave because my dogs would be alone with him. I lived in fear because of him.

Shortly after I got home from NY, my best friend and I went to look at apartments so I had a plan lined up for when I left. My plan was for him to go to work, I would pack up my stuff, and leave him. I didn't see any other way out, without risking my life and my dogs.

The day her and I were looking at apartments, he called me, hysterical, yelling, and threatening again. He had logged into my computer and onto Tumblr and saw messages between another friend and I about my plans to leave him. I've never in my life driven so fast, and dangerously to get home to my dogs and protect them.

When I got home, he was pacing, screaming at me, and holding a knife. He had the dogs harnesses on, and kept telling me to say goodbye to them because it would be the last time I saw them. My best friend was waiting outside, and had called the police and informed them what is going on and that she was afraid he would attack me.

It felt like hours arguing with him, and pleading for him to let me take the dogs and for him to leave. The entire time he was holding the knife and would occasionally stab towards me, although he never made contact. I remember very vividly thinking "okay, if he stabs me, I know what to do. I'm a medical professional and I can save myself," my biggest concern was for my dogs lives, not my own.

After an eternity (or maybe it was just 30 minutes, I don't know) he grabbed my dogs leashes and left through the garage. He had no idea Mesa PD was outside. As soon as he saw PD, he dropped their leashes and lunged at me. Thankfully I was far enough behind him and around the car, he couldn't get to me. Everything after happened in such a blur, I know my best friend grabbed the dogs and put them in her car and that he was then on the ground with tazers and guns aimed at him. He was cuffed, and pinned against the wall by two police officers, while the 3rd officer walked me past him to guarantee my safety. He was yelling the entire time, screaming at me for being a selfish horrible person, that I was making a mistake, and that he would make me regret every thing. I was in hysterics, crying into this poor cop while my best friend got the dogs situated in the car. I don't remember much of my conversation with the officer, except him saying "this is your opportunity to get out, you need to take it,"

I watched them put him in a the squad car, with him yelling at me the entire time, and I was still terrified of him. What if he got out? What if he found me? I chose to stay with my friend because 1. He had no clue where she lived. 2. I knew it was a comfortable place for myself and the dogs until I could get into an apartment.

For months I was terrified, every sudden movement or loud noise around me made me jump and start to panic. I was afraid to go to work because he knew where it was, same with school. I was afraid to go into public places for fear of him being there. Although I had a restraining order against him, that only does so much until police arrive if he was to show up.

A few months after, James came into the picture. We had been friends for years, however that was it. He was one of the first people I confided in over what happened. Still to this day, I've never seen him that angry. He was furious that I had gone through that and had been made to live in fear for so long. He was one of the few people I felt safe around. I made the choice to tell my coworkers what had occurred, that way incase he showed up, I had help. Every night I had an escort to my car by one of the male nurses or techs, if James wasn't working. My tribe of support had continued to grow, and expand, when a few short weeks prior I thought I had no body.

I'm still anxious. I still worry. I still get nervous going into a restaurant, or store that I'll see him. I still have nightmares about him killing my dogs. I've woken up in tears and panic more times than I can count, just to realize he's no where near and that we are safe.

Everything occurred nearly 2 years ago, and I'm still recovering from it. I didn't write this as a sob story, or to get sympathy. I wanted to tell my story, to hopefully help others realize they are not alone. Domestic violence is a very real, and dangerous problem within the United States. So many people are killed prior to being able to leave, or are in fear of leaving because of the unknown of afterwards.

I'm so thankful I was able to get out before something drastic happened to myself or the dogs. I'm so thankful for my amazing tribe of friends and family who stood with me, and had my back when he trashed my name. I'm so thankful for James for showing me what love truly is, and how relationships should be. If anyone who sees this wants to talk about their own experiences or has questions, I am open and willing. Everyone deserves safety, and happiness. Nobody should have to live in fear.

#personal #tw domestic abuse #tw domestice violence #domestic violence #domestic abuse #meee

[theabusediary]

Maybe the reason we get stuck into patterns of self destruction after the abuse is over is because we believe something terrible should happen. We need it to and so we also need to control it. To have control over something, at last!

“ Why not control our recovery?” -everyone asks

Because I’m not sure if I believe I deserve recovery anymore. I can say it a million times, it doesn’t mean my mind will click into place and I’ll truly believe. There’s still a monster in my head that likes to whisper to me how worthless I truly am. It gets exhausting ignoring him, so sometimes I listen. That’s when “recovery” crumbles.

I have to believe though, that despite setbacks, I’m making progress towards being better. I have to keep believing in recovery and repeat it to myself daily. I have nothing else left. If I stop it’s all happening all over again and I refuse to go back.

#abuse #survivors #emotional abuse #rape #rape culture #survivor #depression #victim #domestice violence #ptsd #ptsd recovery #ptsdsurvivor #ptsd tw #mental health awareness

[shoeears]

Powerful Women's Aid video, very powerful

TRIGGER WARNING

#domestic violence #tw: domestice abuse #domestic abuse #Trigger warning #I had to stop the video #was about to burst into tears