#doesn't make them any less valid

[uselessnbee]

i am tired of the way people act like aromantics feeling other kinds of love is some kind of redeeming quality

every time there's a post about aromanticism the comments are flooded with people saying how aromantic people can still feel love it's just not the romantic kind and like yes it is important to point that out because it is true that some aromantic people still feel other kinds of love but not all!! and that's okay!! some aromantic people don't feel love at all and it doesn't make them any less valid! and i'm not saying people need to stop with those comments there's nothing wrong with that but the moment someone tries to point out that loveless people exist and are valid others start acting so fucking weird about it

i have a really weird relationship with love i use the word "love" to describe how am i feeling about people or pets or other stuff because it's the closest thing to describe how i feel but at the same time i'm not 100% sure what i feel is actually "love"

it doesn't probably makes sense but i just feel like i don't feel love the same way others do, the same way this society deems normal and how i am supposed to feel it and so having people act like me feeling other types of love or attraction that are just not romantic and sexual is something that redeems me from not feeling romantic love just makes me really uncomfortable

i don't want people to keep pointing out how i can feel other types of love as if it's the only thing that makes me valid

like and what if i don't? what if i don't feel love at all? does that make me less valid? it should not. i should be valid for being me for being who i am not for being able to feel any kind of love.

i am tired of the way love is treated as something that makes us human. i'm tired of people acting like people who do not feel love are suddenly terrible and inhuman. it's just a fucking emotion and not everyone needs to feel it. if someone told you they can't feel hatred would you suddenly tell them they're terrible and inhuman because feeling hate is what makes us human? no because that's fucking stupid. how is it any different with love?

i could write whole essays about how fucking stupid it is that people act like feeling love and empathy is what makes us human and good people. there are some absolutely vile and cruel people in this world capable of doing monstrous things and some of them do feel love or empathy. does that suddenly make them good people? does that suddenly erase all the terrible things they've done just because they feel certain emotions? no it really doesn't. so why should it be any different if it's the other way around. good people are good because they choose to be kind. people can be the kindest souls on this earth and don't need to feel love and empathy.

i know i'm rambling and probably don't make sense but i'm just really tired. i'm tired of people acting like me being able to feel other kinds of love is what makes me valid. like me feeling love is that one good thing about me. i want to be able to say proudly that i am aromantic that i am aroace that i don't feel romantic love without needing to clarify that yes i do feel other types of love as if that's what makes me better. i am not better or more valid than loveless people just because i "can" feel love or whatever other bullshit

they're valid too and i want to be valid without needing to "feel love" i want to feel like i would be valid and accepted even if i wouldn't feel love at all

#i'm sorry guys i just needed to vent #vent post #aromantic #aromanticism #aroace #loveless #i am proud of being aro of being aroace and i want to stay proud even if one day i decide #that what i feel isn't actually love and i do not feel comfortable using that word #amd i don't want to feel like i'm seen as better or more valid in some peoples eyes #because i feel love #loveless people don't deserve to be treated this way #i needed to rant about this because i saw a post where people were only commenting how aros can still love #and i commented that not all of them that some people don't feel love at all and that's okay amd it #doesn't make them any less valid #and majority of yhe replies were other aros saying they still feel love #and like great good for you babes but that was so not the point of my comment #no need to take it personally that someone points out loveless aros exist like what's the point of that

[sarah-cam]

i've seen some people bringing up the parallel of how tim told lucy that they were worth the risk to how tim broke up with her... this is a great parallel don't get me wrong and it is so painful and i feel so sad for lucy

HOWEVER i've also seen people absolutely railing on tim and calling him a coward for leaving her and saying that this is unforgivable. i get being upset with him, i'm not saying that's wrong. but i just want to offer my take:

tim is absolutely broken down. this is the lowest point he's ever reached and it's been building and building since before we even met him. everything that happened in his childhood, in the army, with isabel, the trauma we've seen from the job these last 5-6 seasons. and now this, which has brought everything he's never dealt with to the surface. he truly believes in his bones that lying to lucy was what he had to do to protect her. even when lucy (rightfully) told him to stop, he said he can't because it's who he is. it's all he has right now because if he's going to lie and break the rules and compromise him morals, he is damn sure going to do whatever it takes to protect the people he loves.

he grew up with an abusive father who made him believe that he doesn't deserve to be loved, let alone unconditionally. he had no control in his childhood so he got that control by joining the military, and when he finally had that control?? he screwed up and blames himself for getting his teammates killed. he tried to gain back that control by becoming a police officer/to but never felt like he needed to move up any higher than that and now we know why. he didn't want to be a leader again because he didn't think he deserved it. he was terrified of losing lucy with the UC work and didn't even realize it, because when she's gone, he doesn't know what's going on and can't back her up. he has no control.

and now this? he compromised everything he believes in, as he said, "to save his career" but it's not that simple. if he told the truth, that angela and lucy knew about everything and still helped him, they would still lose everything he tried to protect them from. he can't even look at himself in the mirror right now.

he's not a coward for breaking up with lucy. he's not walking away because they had a fight and he doesn't want to work through it. in fact, she validated everything he did!! she showed him that she still loves him no matter what he did, that she would've done the same thing. but to him, that's even worse because he doesn't believe he deserves unconditional love, so when lucy gives it, he thinks that he's dragging her down because how could anyone love him after this. giving their relationship a shot was worth the risk because she is worth the risk. but him? he's not worth it

it's not cowardly to take yourself out of a relationship that you're not mentally okay to be in.

#chenford #the rookie #text #lucy deserves to be hurt and upset and everything in between but tim is not doing this to hurt her #he is doing it to protect her even if it's misguided #he knows he's not okay and he can't go back #that doesn't make him a coward #actually i think it's the opposite #it's brave to admit that kind of stuff ESPECIALLY for someone like tim #that doesn't make it hurt lucy any less #but it's valid to have empathy and compassion for both people in a tough situation #this just makes me think of nace #ace was ready to break the curse when he thought he might die but as soon as nancy was in danger he decided that it wasn't worth the risk b #ugh i just love tim bradford and lucy chen #and i want them both to grow and develop from this #cause she has her own issues going on too

[scoriarose]

She heard me doing things so she came up to the side of her baby bin and blelelelele'd at me until I noticed her. She greets me every morning where we spend the first hour of every day together, her just resting in my hand and me holding her, often gently petting her head and tiny scales. If there is a heaven, that first hour we spend together is it.

She is getting a larger enclosure for her birthday in a month and a half. :D Hopefully I can get it done in time, as I haven't sculpted a custom enclosure before and will be trying some new artistic critiques. I do have experience sculpting though. My biggest worry is the paints and sealing them properly! Art I can do- but food safe art that will be in a moist bioactive enclosure is new for me.

#From her enclosure camera #hognose #hognose snake #snake #pets #She is getting a bigger enclosure soon it is preordered and we need to wait #She greets me like this every morning #She ate yesterday and should be in a food coma! #You can even see her lump #So I gave her pets and told her I love her #From inside her enclosure the photo of her being held is from yesterday #She really enjoys pets #Especially after a big meal #I need to get a video of her asking for pets #She will pet herself with her chin #And when I stop sometimes she will pet herself with her chin asking for more! #And then I will pet her and she will relax looking like she is in heaven #Those posts saying “snakes cannot enjoy being pet and will only learn to tolerate it” are absolute BS outdated information #from people who are insecure that they are less valid as humans if animals are capable of feeling love and asking for affection #My snake will LITERALLY ASK TO BE PET #And she will pet me too! #I think she saw me petting her #Thought “This feels nice. Is this what we do for each other?” #And when we are snuggling she'll wiggle over to my arm or shoulder and start petting me. She doesn't pet me in any other places. #It is a lot of effort as she has no hands and has to use her chin #moving her whole upper body #So she'll only pet me maybe 20-10 times and take a rest #Does anyone else's snake pet them? #It is unusual but I think maybe she learned it from copying me and it makes her happy ^_^ #What a wonderful world we live in where snakes enjoy being pet

[dimiclaudeblaigan]

Honestly though, this (what Ashe is pointing out) is exactly why I don't think GW could possibly end well. There's no "talking it over" after all the bloodshed (especially bloodshed started by them, and especially bloodshed started by them that didn't have to happen).

The way the narration leaves it "open" too at the end of GW just comes across as "it failed". It feels like... a kind of pointless story?

And I know some people might think that since Dimitri personally isn't as deeply affected by losing Matthias and so might be willing, that's still no good if his people and closest allies aren't. Rodrigue and Sylvain wouldn't be so forgiving, and I do think Dimitri would follow suit because that's his father (Rodrigue)'s closest friend and one of his own closest friends' father.

Add that to the fact that they have Sreng to deal with still (and I imagine sooner or Sylvain would figure out that Leicester had a hand in provoking Sreng to attack Faerghus) on top of losing Matthias and I imagine all the stress and aggravation wouldn't bode well for Leicester as far as Claude's thinking of things working out goes.

I just really can't see where GW goes afterward that would be "good" or works in Claude's favor at all. Maybe that was the intention and it was meant to be a route with a completely tragic ending, but apparently there are players who think it would end well and whatnot and I just can't see that happening (both from Faerghus' end and from Adrestia's end, the latter of which Claude discussed within GW itself).

If their intention was for a totally tragic ending, like yeah, I can see that... but as always the writing muddies the waters to make it sound good while something bad is happening. It keeps trying to have a positive spin on bad things as if they're just afraid to commit to a fully bad ending.

#DCB Three Hopes Run #also to be specific the reason I just call Rodrigue his father outright is bc he refers to him as a “second father” in Houses #but I'm not gonna literally write “his second father” every time I mention it and honestly “adoptive father” doesn't work for me either #bc him being an adoptive sort of parent doesn't make the fact that he /is/ a parent to him any less valid #like a parent is a parent and I don't feel the need to point that out and the feeling is mutual between them #if Rodrigue is literally calling him ''my boy'' it's a pretty cut and dry parent/child relationship #obviously I'm using Houses context in this case but it's still accurate in Hopes #and I just can't see losing Matthias going over smoothly at all and things getting better with time #I mean Matthias is such a major player in Faerghus and so important that I just can't see them being like #well it was only /one/ important bigwig who died. like no it was one important bigwig saving a whole lot of lives #who is also very intelligent and has a deep say in politics. that's ofc not counting #as Ashe says here in AM in reference to Adrestia that they've killed so much on both sides bc of the war #that he can't imagine just sitting and talking now. just because we as players only saw one named character die #and just because that character wasn't a playable character nor a returning character we already knew and loved #doesn't mean hundreds if not thousands more didn't die in Leicester's invasion #like Ashe says here I just don't see how both sides could sit and talk after all that #esp since Sylvain would prob be involved and uh... Sylvain is... a very emotional and angry person #and extremely vengeful (and they rly leaned into that side of him in Hopes in all routes) #I canNOT imagine talks with him involved not getting heated and aggressive #and he'd /have/ to be there bc he's the Margrave now in GW. if they want to have important talks like that #they need all their major players which like even if Felix say wasn't there #Rodrigue has basically equal authority as Felix bc Rodrigue has the respect of experience and has proven himself #so they could be swapped out for talks and Felix being the ''official'' Duke wouldn't affect talks in the least #if Rodrigue was/had to be present instead. with Sylvain you've either got no other options #or you've got Miklan who I can't imagine would want to even get involved with all of that #both bc of his mixed feelings on Matthias but also bc he's been out of the political atmosphere for so long #so yeah I uh... can't... see talks ever going well unless Claude legitimately makes amends somehow #or Houses Claude gets in there smacks him around and fixes some shit before heading back to his own verse lol

[feydfuckernation]

23 my girl jo barker

character ask game

23. Future headcanon

tbh as much as i love the open ended ambiguity of johanna and anthony being able to escape the horrors to some extent and live their lives together i also know how ptsd works and i don't know that i believe anthony and johanna would just stay together after everything that's happened. i think anthony would try his best, would try to love johanna with everything he has, but i don't know if he's someone that would recognize whether or not he's out of his depth and/or know what johanna really needs after having literally killed a man to survive coming out of an incredibly abusive environment as judge turpin's ward AND the added trauma of the asylum and then on top of it all almost dying at the hands of her own father.

now, that being said, we also don't really know what it is anthony comes from. all we really know is that he was a sailor and at some point he rescued sweeney while they were out at sea. if we go by the original penny dreadful sweeney todd is based on, i would imagine anthony is probably based on mark ingestrie, who was in love with a girl named johanna oakley. at some point mark is imprisoned in the cellar beneath mrs. lovett's pie shop and forced to help cook the pies before ultimately escaping up the lift that brings the pies up from the cellar and into the shop itself. i think if our anthony has subsequent trauma of his own that we just don't know about, i could see it potentially still working between the two of them, because he would have some insight, albeit specific to his own trauma, that would allow him to at least empathize with johanna's circumstances better than he would without it (which isn't a knock on him, but it's very hard to understand things that have never happened to you, let alone be there to try and help someone in the ways they may want or need. it's not impossible, and it's not a one size fits all, but it's certainly not easy when you don't have any trauma of your own [and sometimes even when you do! trauma isn't a one size fits all; even people with the exact same trauma will still experience it differently because they're still fundamentally different people in terms of how they think how they feel, how they process things and how long it takes for them to process things]). but i think if he's as naïve as the overview of principal roles in sweeney todd makes him out to be, i don't think he and johanna would stay together.

as for johanna, i'm honestly not sure beyond that. i can't say for sure what i think she'd do, other than want to be rid of london for just about every reason imaginable and then some. maybe become a sailor herself, going from place to place, not wanting to be trapped like the bird in a cage motif that introduces her to us and follows through to the end when she can finally take her life, her fate, her freedom into her own hands for the first time in her life.

#this could have been even longer but it's very exhausting for me to talk about trauma work rn #answered #loverboygf #for the record i still think it's possible for anthony and johanna to be together! but it wouldn't be the immediate happy ending either of #them were wanting #that they had probably built up in their heads for their respective reasons (anthony because he's young; johanna because it's her escape) #which also doesn't make it any less valid! but it's definitely something to think about and the reasons WHY they both think the way they do #because there always always are #a lot of this is also based on a lot of my own personal experiences and trauma work and various papers and books i've read over the years #tl;dr i think they could find their way through a relationship together but it would take a lot of work #sweeney todd #very fitting that newt would get an essay like this outta me lmaoo

[lucky-clover-gazette]

i wish i could be like "ohhhh my writing must suck so bad" but tbh i'm having so much fun and if that means i have shitty taste so be it, i chose not to do this for a living for a reason

#there's no way to write any post of this genre without sounding like i'm guilt tripping or begging for validation #but i have to reassure myself somehow #plenty of people think my very favorite things are mediocre or bad #doesn't make them any less of my very favorite things

[hardtchill]

No, they wouldn't have. I don't like them but transracial adoption is REALLY a HUGE issue. Your white, European self needs to get out of that lane.

Dude, they would have. You need to do some digging if you think Sheabutter are in it to better the world.

#ask #as i said it's a valid discussion and a needed one #but sheabutter scoring quick points with you for saying it doesn't make them any less terrible #Carly Lloyd fought for equal pay #that doesn't make her a good person or someone we should listen to #I also didn't say anything about the actual issue because that's not my place - i said something about them which definitely is my place

[elibeeline]

I dont know what emotion im feeling at the moment but my brain is only calling it 'not pog'

#i think its multiple emotions #i feel invalidated as a system bc of a conversation going on in a gc right now #and i feel sad and angry and confused and horribly guilty #they're being very intense over there and having a very deep discussion about what it means to be a system #and how easy it is to tell who is and who isnt a system through discord #and i dont think we were easy to tell we're a system apart from the use of pluralkit #because from the outside it just looks like i get mad on public transport and fussy when it comes to cleanliness #and the way they're talking makes it sound like everyone has to be very distinct in order to be valid #but i dont think thats true #because me and iris and ewan are very similar. and ewan and bunny are very similar. and alice and ian are very similar #i dont think that makes us any less of a body suffering with osdd #and just because we dont switch loads of times a day and just because we dont have the amnesia doesn't make us an invalid system #i dont want to tell this specific system they're coming across like this bc they can be fairly argumentative #and they're kinda scary and i worry i wont be able to get a word in edgewise without upsetting them too #because they should be able to express opinion without being argued at over it #but at the same time their wording hurts #i think i will just stay quiet for a few days around them until we both calm down a bit? #idk they're very intimidating

[rhys-ravenfeather]

Actually, disabled people STILL deserve your respect and support when they’re not perpetually happy and positive rays of sunshine who ‘never let their disability stop them!’ 😇

#rhys-ravenfeather signing in #i say as an autistic person with dyscalculia #as well as depression and anxiety #i'm NOT clowning on this--if i had a nickel every time my mom said 'just be positive!' whenever I got upset about not being able to do math #or something else as a kid #like i'm not physically disabled but my disability(ies) have kept me from being able to do things #BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT DISABILITIES DO #and i have EVERY RIGHT to be angry and upset about that #disabled people in GENERAL deserve to be allowed to feel angry and upset and frustrated about having their disabilities #it doesn't make them any less valid than disabled people who have managed to stay positive and happy!

[halalchampagnesocialist]

How to spot Liberal Zionist Propaganda 101

This post is by no means exhaustive at all. There are many Liberal Zionist talking points but these are just some of the most common ones. While on the surface they seem a little naive and hopeful at best, they are very much harmful. If you claim to be an ally to Palestinians, this post is primarily for you!

For starters, liberal Zionists will often try to both-sides the issue of Palestine, talk about how it's complicated, they'll claim that the conflict hurts both Israelis and Palestinians, how the only way forward is one where Jews and Arabs "just need to get along," amongst other things. They also often like to centre themselves, even when acknowledging Palestinians as the victims of Israel or this "conflict." From time to time, they also like to engage in tokenising certain Palestinians whose views tend to more or less align with theirs. Here are some common arguments you may hear from them:

1. Any form of justifying Israel's existence or claiming that the only solution is two states

It does not really need to be said why justifying Israel's existence is harmful but justifying its continued existence also means legitimising Israel's land theft, its expulsions of Palestinians, and its ongoing harm to Palestinians and other populations. Reducing any sorts of “solutions” into a binary is unhelpful. Needless to say, a 2ss would not even address any legitimate concerns Palestinian have, such as the right of return, and would only legitimise Israel’s colonialism. Talking about a two-state solution also implies that the root of the conflict lies in Palestinians not having their own state rather than being an occupied people. It is very much also possible to construct a paradigm where Jews and Palestinians both live together on the same land as equal citizens that doesn't involve two separate states, much less an ethnostate.

2. Security for Israel could only come through peace

This is a similar talking point to the one above. Not only does it centre Israeli safety and security above Palestinian liberation but it mistakenly assumes that once Israel makes peace with Palestinians, it'll achieve security. The reality, however, is that Israel's imagined security has quite often come at the expense of peace. In fact, "peace" has just acted as nothing more than a smoke-screen for Israel to carry out its expansionist policies, particularly in the West Bank. When liberal Zionists talk about peace juxtaposed with Israeli security, they're talking about attaining a negative peace rather than a positive one.

3. Israelis are not their government.

This point does nothing to actually help Palestinians. It is also an incredibly tone-deaf thing to say when Israel has targeted many Palestinian civilians by having alleged proximity to Hamas, such as being family members of militants or leaders (inc. children!), civil servants in a Hamas-led government, or even any male above the age of 15 they consider to be a potential combatant! It also deliberately erases Israeli civilians' support of and culpability in Israel's actions towards Palestinians.

4. Netanyahu and/or the Israeli right are the source of conflict.

While it is true that things have gotten inadvertently worse under Israel's various right-wing governments, they are not the source of conflict, but rather a product of extremist nationalism and Jewish supremacy perpetuated by the system. Both the 1967 occupations and settlements were undertaken under centre-left governments in Israel, and Israeli policy under non-right wing governments has been just as harmful towards Palestinians and has paved the way for where we are today. Blaming Netanyahu just also obscures the violent nature of Israel's military occupation over Palestinians which long precede him coming into power.

5. Netanyahu and Hamas are two sides of the same coin

I don't think I've seen any allies give validity to this claim but it's an extremely reductionist claim and is sort of similar to the one above. Groups like Hamas are merely a response to the Israeli occupation while Netanyahu is a byproduct of it. While some Israelis may see Hamas or their actions as an "obstacle to peace," Israel's actions and policies long pre-date Hamas and how Israel is currently responding to Hamas is no different to how Israel has engaged with Palestinian militant groups in the past, regardless of political affiliations or political goals. It is also important to note that Hamas has agreed to the establishment of a state along 1967 borders while Netanyahu aims to prolong the occupation and empower the settler movement (some of whom are part of his coalition government) as much as possible.

6. Israel is not a settler-colonial state.

While it is indisputable that Jews have historical connections to Palestine, that doesn’t automatically make you Indigenous or negate Israeli settler-colonialism. Colonialism in particular describes a relationship of exploitation. There are many cases of this, but we most clearly see this in the West Bank where Israel exploits natural resources on occupied Palestinian territory for its own political and economic gains. In terms of settler-colonialism, it is widely known that Israel expelled hundreds of thousands of Palestinians to make way for Jewish refugees and migrants to the new state of Israel, and is still actively facilitating Jewish migration to Israel today while denying Palestinians their right of return.

7. (X) doesn't help Palestinians.

It is not up to anyone to determine whether certain tactics or strategies are helpful or not. This point only seeks to discredit pro-Palestine organising. Only Palestinians get to decide what is actually helpful for the cause or not.

8. Any sort of Hamas-blaming.

On the surface it may seem like there’s nothing wrong with this, but this point is often harmful and usually lends itself to right-wing talking points because its objective is to deflect blame away from Israel. Certain arguments blaming Hamas also aim to minimise Palestinian suffering perpetuated by Israel. It also paints Israeli violence as retaliatory to Palestinian violence which only obfuscates Israel’s (and by extension, the US’) role in its state military apparatus and the differing power dynamics between Israelis and Palestinians. In other contexts, this point seeks to also legitimise certain opposition, such as the Palestinian Authority. Hamas-blaming also tends to sometimes lead to racist diatribes about Palestinians and their culture.

9. Al-Jazeera is not a credible news source.

Al Jazeera is a news source like any other. It has varying editorial policies and therefore will have equally good reporting on certain issues while having terrible reporting on others. The difference is that Al-Jazeera's news on Palestine is credible because it comes directly from their Palestinian reporters on the ground and first-hand eyewitness accounts. Western news sources are no more or less credible than al-Jazeera. Compare this to CNN, NYT, and any other Western news sources where Palestinian voices are often entirely missing from the narrative.

10. Overemphasis of antisemitism on the left

Antisemitism is a real issue and has the potential to fester in left circles if not directly addressed head on. Combatting antisemitism is extremely important, however, it is not an issue exclusive to the left. There is also a double standard in that no one expects Zionists to call out Islamophobia and anti-Palestinian racism. Certain accusations of "antisemitism" also seek to distract from what's going on in Palestine by making it about Jewish comfort and feelings. Combatting antisemitism, Islamophobia, anti-Arab racism etc is always important as the basis of good politics.

Last but not least, be wary of native collaborators or any sort of normalisers! They are Palestinians or Arabs who try very hard to appeal to Western liberal consensus and can end up perpetuating a lot of harm to the cause and/or other activists. You will know them when you see them.

#palestine #israel #liberal zionism #other palestinians feel free to add onto this whether it be other points or anything else

[trashycosmos]

Hu5h

#as a nb person i deal with transphobia not irregularly but even so i often have a fear of identifying as trans #bc i don't want people to think i'm faking but also bc i v much can benefit from male privilege bc i'm misgendered/viewed as such a lot #and even though i put not an insignificant amount of effort into maintaining an androgynous appearance i don't have any desire #for either any kind of surgery or hrt to any degree #like i'm content with my body and the things i want to change aren't really based in dysphoria #but rather in just wanting to be happy and look the way that makes me feel that #i've had a dream where i was seen as a trans woman and it stressed me out enough to wake up bc all i could think was “that's not who i am” #there's also no real way to describe the feeling/emotion of rightness that comes with being called they/them and seen as essentially #having no gender whatsoever like gdi i just wanna be and be happy and fall in love you know? #Falling Apart And Coming Together #Edited #and ik you don't have to want or get surgery or hrt to be valid #and i don't think anyone who doesn't want those things is any less of their gender #i think i just have some internalized shit to work through and have to stop being so doubtful #bc tbh people are gonna assume wrong no matter what and that's their fucking problem not mine #but when you assume that makes an ass out of u which leaves me to deal with it #and whatever shitty problems you're having and projecting instead of taking a hard look at yourself in the mirror

[doberbutts]

Speaking of Bad Takes Havers and Stupid Arguments, scrolled by one that was effectively "trans guys who talk about transandrophobia should instead practice posting pictures of older passing trans men but they won't because of their fantasies of never passing"

And like. First of all. I do that. I've posted multiple older, passing trans men. I talk about my trans guy friends who pass perfectly all the time? I pass like 80-90% of the time nowadays?

But I also know trans men- binary trans men who are absolutely putting in the effort to pass as binary cis men- who do not pass and have been on T for significantly longer than I have been. I've been on T for a year and a half and I pass fairly well nowadays. I have a friend who has been on T for over 10 years who does not. I had more beard and more growth and more masculine features and frame pre-T than he does 10 years on T, post-op, medically transitioning far younger than me. That's... honestly one of the points? Not everyone is so lucky.

And not everyone desires my outcome, and it's *weird* seeing this argument over and over because honestly it just sounds like transmedicalism. The only valid trans guys are the ones that are binary male and pass perfectly for cis and have been on T for years and have done every single surgery possible. Sorry but that's not a lot of people's realities, and it's just plain not feasible for many people either. We're just going to leave these people behind because their journey doesn't match ours??? Really???

It's so bizarre to see someone constantly going "skill issue" when faced with someone else who does not pass. Some people are never going to pass. It doesn't make them any less trans or any less of whatever gender they say they are. How can you call yourself part of the trans community when you're spitting on people less fortunate or with different priorities than you?

[cristalknife]

Can someone please give me a job as scientific evaluator of study data validity pls?

Ok let’s start with some sourced context this post start because I read this cnn article, based on this study  because if we roast some information at least lets make it with references so that those reading can get the data and make their own informed opinion.

First roast comes to the study itself... Let’s make an itemized list of what and why some choices are very much questionable: 1. The data pool is too small to determine such absolute conclusions, [in the cnn article gladly it is mentioned so kudo goes to the cnn’s article writer...], there’re less than a hundred cases per group, on top of that the already small numbers have been made smaller by diving based on sex, age group, in 5 blocks of smoking years 2. For the marijuana smokers they literally had exact data of daily consumption for 50% of their studied cases which my dudes it makes your sensational discovery percentage absolutely unreliable and misleading 3. The group of marijuana smokers was actually not smoking only  marijuana but also tobacco... my dudes how can you stand there and make those kind of declaration when you have contaminated data??? Conclusion: This study is non conclusive their conclusions are based on data that should not have been considered scientifically sound or solid. From the article and into the real roast fest: please hold your breath for the real pearl “The American Lung Association says the only thing that should go into your lungs is clean air, so if you’re inhaling anything, it could potentially be toxic to your lungs,” Oh my gosh I am shocked at this declaration, and very much salty, now my dear docs, tell me why oh why with any inflammation, infection or other kind of problem even slightly connected to the respiratory system at least 80% of the medications given to patients are in fact inhalations... I get that probably the quote was supposed to be treated as a way to discourage any non medical inhalation... But this is the downfall of y’all frikking loving on absolutes... Absolutes will absolutely come bite you back in the ass. Can’t you see how such affirmation is so dangerous? But lets step aside from that for a sec, my dear docs, have you stopped to consider that so many medications (oh and hello my darlings, marijuana can be used as medication too, what a surprise) work oh so much better when you can get the active chemical substance right on the blood flow. The hard part is when a person has health problems when an inhalation (be it painkillers, other medication, cbd, marijuana) could help in the general condition but then still feel harmful.  At the end of the day it always comes back to the same old same old.  And it’s never do what is best, but do what it’s best for your. Namely choose the side effect you can live with today. Why? because when the list of side effect for all the meds you need to take just to survive enough to be functional for earning the money you’ll spend on the above mentioned meds... In that case the least you can do as a self care measure is actually choose what today will look like, is it better feel the pain or endure the nausea? Is it better the headache or the coughing that comes from inhalation? Is it better the vertigo or just call it a day and not move from the bed? Welcome to the crazy ride that’s having a chronic illness, each day is full of choices, and the best thing you can do for yourself is shut all the well meaning suggestion from docs who have not walked a single hour in your body and with your symptoms and do what you have the energies to do today... If that means that fuck it you need the marijuana to make the symptoms then by all means take some (not suggesting get enough to OD  but take enough that it stops the reason why you wanted to take it in the first place so you can do what you hoped/needed to do)

#health talk #long post #personal rant #i'm salty #i also have comorbid chronic illnesses #one of them is asthma #the other is fibromyalgia #so while what i experience is not the same for all #it doesn't make it any less valid #please put on your critical thinking hat on #welcoming respectful discussion

[capricores]

if you have strong mutable (gemini, sagittarius, pisces, virgo) placements then you NEED to write things down if you don't already. all those thoughts that constantly swirl in your head: the frequent tasks, goals, feelings, aspirations, opinions, etc - WRITE THEM DOWN. this is not only therapeutic & stress-relieving for you but almost necessary, or you're going to burn out and overload your own mind constantly.

when you bottle, or when you let plans, goals, dreams, to-do lists, projects, etc live solely in your head - you'll notice you can't sleep as well, it's harder to rest, your memory gets more foggy than usual, you feel burnt out and unable to connect, etc. specifically:

write down your feelings. this will be your ultimate (free) therapy. start to journal, write a diary. make a private twitter/tumblr where you spill your feelings, frustrations, thoughts. you will feel an immense sense of relief by writing or typing your feelings out - even if no one is reading it but you. mutable moons especially. our feelings tend to change rapidly, but it doesn't make them less valid. don't bottle out of the fear your feelings will change/you'll just "get over it"!! write it down and let it out!!

write! to-do! lists!!!!! these don't have to be for important things. you want to learn digital art? you want to study coding? you want to learn french? you want to re-decorate? you probably have a billion things you want to do, and then you get overwhelmed by the options, and do nothing. write down all the things you want to do. make a to-do list for these things. get them out of your head and somewhere permanent/physical. looking at the options in front of you will feel much easier.

make excel project trackers (you can even make these for to-do list items/goals/etc)! mutable placements have a tendency to start a lot of projects or tasks, and never finish any of them. make a simple tracker for all the projects you start. you won't forget what you're working on, and you'll be less overwhelmed trying to remember what you have going on (example of the one i always use pictured below)

talking out your thoughts and feelings is also very cathartic. make fake (or real, i support u!) youtube vlogs where you spill your feelings and talk about your plans, your day, what you have to do, etc. talk to someone you love and trust, vent to them about how things are; or about what you're getting up to. i find writing has an edge, because you can go back to it for reference (mutables tend to forget things easily) - but as long as you're getting the swirl of your mind somewhere outside of your head, you'll feel so, so much less stressed.

mutable dominants tend to constantly live in go-mode, we're restless and always doing something. we feel uncomfortable and sometimes guilty about staying still. our minds don't ever shut off. it's very important for mutable placements to learn how to rest, be present in the moment, and learn grounding. this can be done in many ways, but i've found personally that writing works best for me. other helpful practices can be: talk therapy, acceptance theory, yoga, meditation, hiking, camping, etc.

i also want to remind mutable signs: we change a lot. we have a lot of ideas. there's so much we want to do. we often feel like we have no path, no big goal; we can struggle with purpose as we don't often aspire for permanent things or "one big goal". this is NOT bad. there is nothing wrong with changing your feelings, your mind, your goals, your life path. you CAN do all the things you want to do! you have your entire life ahead of you! yes, you can learn all those languages. yes, you can have three different careers in your life. yes yes yes! don't listen to negativity from others. don't beat yourself up for not having one big goal like some people around you might. cherish and embrace all the things you want to achieve and complete (both big and small). learn to follow-through with and finish the things that matter to you (writing things down will really help with this, make action plans/steps - break everything down into smaller pieces). take the time to slow down and enjoy the moments as they come. you got this!

#like PLSSSS it is so important you all NEED to write/type your thoughts and feelings #talking abt them will make u feel amazing but writing them out will get them out of your brain #astrology #mutable #luna.txt #i love u mutables <3 #this post was so scattered and random and all over the place in true mutable fashion #but im not editing it because this is for the mutables anyway and yall will get my scattered-ness #mine

[strwberri-milk]

The "s/o crying in her sleep because she misses him" prompt is absolutely wonderful so I'm here for a request of that prompt with Childe, Wriothesley and Lyney. Love you and your works so much. Hope you have a good day!

Childe knows that his hours aren't exactly great when it comes to trying to maintain a healthy work/life balance. You're used to him coming and leaving at all hours of the day and are used to adjusting your schedule accordingly.

He tries his best to tell you what he'll be doing for the week so the two of you can figure out when you'll have time to spend with each other. After all, it's not like he ever stops thinking about you when he goes to work. In fact, it's exactly the opposite - you're always preoccupying his mind, no matter how focused it seems he is.

After a solid week of coming home far later than you go to bed, Childe's happy to report that he's got some time off for the coming days. He wasn't going to wake you up just to tell you, but he was going to start by cuddling you up as the two of you slept. In his euphoria he almost missed the sound of you crying as he stood in the doorway, heart breaking as he sees the way you're curled in on yourself trying to hold back your tears.

Silently, he slips into bed behind you and pulls you into his chest, letting your tears wet his shirt. He shushes you gently, letting you cry as much as he needs to as he whispers apologies into your hair.

Wriothesley is prone to getting a little too caught up in his work. He's got a lot of things and people to keep an eye on, meaning that sometimes you end up sleeping in a cold bed. You normally don't mind but after a while of never seeing him it really starts to weigh on you.

You spend another lonely evening getting ready for bed, trying not to dwell on the fact too much. You know that Wriothesley is an important man and that he's got lots to attend to. It never means he loves you any less - it's just a testament to how incredible he is.

It ends up not doing anything for you as you cry yourself to sleep anyway, trying to bury your sobs in the pillow. You don't notice he's there until you feel him pull you into his chest, strong arms wrapping around your midsection as he buries his face into your neck.

He doesn't say anything but you know he's sorry with the way his fingers trace circles on your stomach, the weight of his body on your back, the gentle kisses he presses on your neck. All of it reminds you that he's here, and no matter where it is that he is, he'll always be yours.

You do notice that he makes a concentrated effort to carve out time in his busy day for you. He doesn't mention what happened that night too overtly, but you know it weighs on him when he's unable to come to bed with you.

Lyney hears you almost as soon as he walks through the door, suddenly realising just how busy he's been the last couple of weeks. You can hear his footsteps heading straight towards you and try to hurriedly wipe away your tears only to be confronted by him.

He's upset to know that you've been crying, even more so when he manages to get you to confess that it's because you miss him. He sits down next to you on the bed, pulling you into his lap. You're looking up at him, willing the last of your tears to go away to no avail. He easily wipes them away, resting his palm against your forehead as he looks down at you affectionately.

You ramble a little about how you don't want him to be mad and you just couldn't exactly place it but there was just this underlying feeling of anxiety and sadness that came from being without him and it all just came to a head. He listens with an emphatic ear, stroking his thumb across your cheek as you talk to him.

Once you've got all your feelings out he apologises for accidentally ignoring you. Even if he didn't mean it, that doesn't mean that your feelings aren't valid, and he wants you to know that. He tells you that next time if you're feeling this way you should bring it up, giving you a soft kiss on the lips to reinforce his words. You agree, knowing that he said it because he means it and you know that he'll keep his promise.

#genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #wriothesley x reader #lyney x reader #childe x reader #ajax x reader #tartaglia x reader

[neil-gaiman]

As a mental health provider working with Gender Diverse teens and adults, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for the Good Omens TV series. It's more meaningful than just representation, although that alone has made such a difference. The varied ways all of the characters interface with gender presentation and identity have proven to be such a useful tool to help people talk about and explore what these things mean to them, and to find their way to a more comfortable and authentic understanding of themselves.

It's effective in a way reality isn't, because it's so openly permissive of experimentation and change. So many of my clients feel enormous pressure to "get it right" the first time when trying out new gender expressions. Whether it be a name, pronouns, clothing style, haircut, etc. so many folks are too intimidated to make any moves toward their own comfort for fear they'll "get it wrong" and be seen as somehow less valid if they decide it didn't work for them as well as they initially thought. I love how all of the eldrich beings - but especially Crowley - make changes to their presentation over time or between earth and their respective head offices. And no-one bats an eye. No one even comments on it, they just automatically accept roll with it. That is so monumental and permission-granting for my clients!

So thank you, so very much!!

…also… as a fan and a therapist I would give anything for the opportunity to do couples counseling for Aziraphale and Crowley! This isn't a request or anything, it obviously doesn't fit in-universe. I just giggle every time it crosses my mind.

Much love to you for all your work! (I also adore your novels and short stories. )

I’m so glad. I hadn’t thought of Good Omens as a therapeutic tool.