#does this damn post means anything to anyone but me???? idek I just like the idea of thesa being so okay with emet and hythlo even
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what sort if things do you want to talk abt with people/what would make you feel better?
I mean, in an actual utopia? :'D I'd love it if people were excited for what I'm working on. if they'd ask about the fics in progress, kick my butt when I can't get shit done, and push me into doing more. maybe even give feedback already during the process! i know it's too much to ask for, especially when so rarely even finished fics get excitement or feedback, but it's what a Dream World would look like lol.
ideally I'd love it if I had some friends who I could actually brainstorm with and talk about the stuff I'm stuck on or trying to otherwise flesh out. my dog does listen but rarely has any suggestions I can take :'D I know I got spoiled because earlier (like …two years ago lol) I had someone who was always excited to talk about the ideas and brainstorm with me, and who kicked my ass into gear if I was dragging my feet, and I got used to it and now that i'm supposed to just figure everything out alone I have zero motivation to actually do it. the kind of instant feedback I got then was the best motivator ever. now? eh.
and I'd love it if my feeble attempts at trying to talk about wips wasn't just brushed off. if i post on tumblr about something it's most of the time ignored. i've tried to talk to multiple people, and in return i get either the "you'll figure it out eventually" or a complete topic change immediately. no follow-up questions, no excitement, no nothing.
and I'd love it if people didn't go "oh I can help brainstorm that!" and then not even bother to read it. go "I'm gonna comment on that soon!" and never do it. empty promises do nothing but get hopes up and end up in crushing disappointment.
I know people are busy, people have their lives and shit happens but like. it's easy to not make promises you can't (or have no intention to) keep, imo.
and idk in the Olden Days I had multiple people to chat general fandom with, and it in turn sparked fic ideas, and excitement, but now that doesn't really exist either.
just to be clear I'm not expecting anyone to be at my beck and call 24/7 all the time :'D god no :'D but it's so friggin' disheartening when I get a new idea, am all excited about it, and then deflate when I know I don't really have anyone to hype me up about it. so then i won't do it. or then i write like two sentences a day maximum and never get shit done. and every damn day i'm getting closer to just quitting for good. i really really don't wanna abandon my to-write-list and leave shit unfinished but it's starting to look like the only viable option left.
idek. I'm tired. i know it's just a pipe dream and i'll just keep struggling until i fade away from fandom and no one notices lol but yeah.
(it is really nice to just chat about anything with people too, tho, so a shoutout to those who did reach out and who i've been occasionally chatting with :3 it is appreciated!)
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I think one of the greatest things that could ever happen to me just happened, and I'm a lil emotional about it, idek where to start
First of all, its the simple things. I have a voice actor hobby for sure. It never went away. I didn't watch anime for 6-7 years and then coming back, my VA obsession returned immediately. I was like "JUST WATCH THINGS WITHOUT ANALYSING THEIR VOICES FOR FUCKS SAKE" but it didn't happen, it couldn't happen
Aside from rewatches, Banana Fish was a brilliant (sort of) return to anime for me. I got real excited about the amount of boxes it ticked
But I may have found something better
I randomly, and I mean randomly stumbled across this anime
I haven't even read the plot. Idk what its about at all. But a few things caught my eye.
So I've made a couple of posts about Kenjiro Tsuda, the voice of Kaiba, and how his popularity absolutely shot up out of the damn sky and into space thanks to Jujutsu Kaisen. Now he gets roles after roles and is in the top 10 VA's. And it made me really happy cause he's been around for so long and deserves it.
However, Hiroki Takahashi, the voice of Joey, has not had the same luck. He doesn't get many roles, and when he does, they're in... not that great animes. I would know. I watched them for him. It made me sad.
So to ever imagine an anime that they are both present in aside from YGO seemed so far, far off into the distance, esp seeing as they both only got (mostly) shit roles. And now Kenjiro is doing graaaand so its just Hiroki.
Like I said, I stumbled across this anime randomly. First button it hits
Its a BL.
Brilliant. If anyone is under the impression there are a lot of BL's/Yaoi's/Shounen-ais, then you're clueless. There's a massive shortage of gay romance in general, but in anime, its about 1% of existing anime. Lower actually.
Again, I haven't looked at the plot yet, I just like to see who the romantic leads are. First name I spot, Ono Yuuki, the voice of a big fave of mine. My man here
And who is he paired with? Oh... ohoho... no other than my main man of all main mans
And I've made a lot of posts about hearing Joey's voice in things, but 99% of the time I'm talking about the voice actor for season 0 Joey. He's way more famous and gets a lot of roles. The last thing I heard DM Joey in was a dumb anime called Endride in 2016.
So yeah, I'm happy to see him in a modern, leading role in general, but the fact that its a GAY modern leading role is why its extra important.
And they are both two big faves of mine. Rocchi x Joey. I so dig it.
And then what I didn't expect was, just casually over on the right, was my other dudes name
Tsuda Kenjurou
Fucking. Kaiba.
DM Kaiba and DM Joey. In the same anime.
Didn't even think that was possible????
Like wishful thinking is them both having the leading roles but NEVER. I COULD NEVER. Imagine that happening.
Having them in the same anime is enough for me.
BUT A GAY ANIME????????
I HOPE I GET TO SEE THEM INTERACT IN THE GAY ANIME. Even if he looks like some weird blue haired man. IDC.
Like I haven't read anything about this damn thing. Its just impressions. Joey is the dark haired one being teased by the blond? Uh, yeah. I accept. Kaiba's voice is in there somewhere? YEAH, sign me UP.
Also, I spot Uchida Yuuma there as well who played the lead blondie in Banana Fish. Honestly, its Joey reunited with his son.
I was tortured for years with bad animes. Only good animes from now on. Only good things. I'm not accepting anything else.
I am blessed.
And now I have to actually read the plot lmao
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how does this even work
I've had this account for almost a year but honestly I have no clue how tumblr works LMAO
It's probably a miracle if you're seeing this because tbh idek if I posted it
I wonder who i'm talking to anyway damn
Uhhhhh introduction idk
Im trilingual, english isnt my first language but tbh I treat it as one because I know it best out of my 3 lmao
I'm learning french and german, spanish but I basically gave up kinda, and japanese just for fun
I like drawing (so original ikr)
I'm pangender, so idk percieve me as anything??? (Okay not anything because I dont identify as kitchen appliances obviously)
Any pronouns? Tbh I dont care, i just dont like they them that much
I like reading, especially if it means that I can collect books, because I just like how they look on shelves
I like some games and shows and stuff, and have joined some fandoms, and they are:
Danganronpa (yeah I know, I know, but it's still my brainrot if you're talking about thh)
Voltron (I know. the fandom is long gone and I started liking it a bit too late oops)
The dragon prince (in love fr)
Omori (still a brainrot after like what, 2 years? More? Idefk how that's possible but it is lmao)
Phoenix Wright (at the time I'm writing this, then like, I'm not even halfway into the saga??? How much Phoenix Wright stuff even is there????)
Harry Potter (not a brainrot anymore, but I still love it with all my heart)
Warrior Cats (what can i say?)
Saiki K (love love love)
The music freaks (gasp massive gasp exploding head emoji, I enjoy gacha yes)
And then there is more that I cant remember at the moment, that I havent finished yet, or that idk, I'm not that obsessed about tbh lmao
What else??? Do people still care about zodiacs or mbtis because??
Tbh idk what to add so sure, I'm an aries and either an esfp or enfp ⛹️♀️
Lastly, I will lose my marbles if I see anyone calling me oakley or okaily or whatever magnificent abomination you have made of my name 😭💀💀
Its Okialy. Period. If you still cant spell it then you can call me any name that starts with a J I guess 💔💔💔
no way, you reached the end
You wasted valuable time of your life on reading this
You're welcome
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January* Wordcount tracking
*yes I’m aware it’s the middle of February don’t judge me >.<
Total January Wordcount: 7384 words
Posted: nix! but I spent a chunk of January sick and the rest of it underwater at work, so it's not exactly a shock in spite of me doing my best to make it otherwise. Slowly chugging back into the swing of things now that the holidays are over and in theory so is the worst of the tax season prep garbage please let it be over i am S O tired orz
IN PROGRESS:
There’s a place I’ve seen where the soul burns clean: 6150 words \(^o^)/
Self Indulgence Sandbox (most people live founders era AU + transmigration AU and a whole bunch of super self indulgent shenanigans): 461 words
SVSSS surprise bunny (modern/urban fantasy AU, I guess? idek man this came out of nowhere I was possessed by the spirit of Airplane-jiujiu or something): 773 words
Sneak Peeks:
> There's a place I've seen where the soul burns clean <
"Get your hands off of me," Izuna snapped, trying to shove his way upright again.
"If I can make you lay down, Izuna-san, fighting people stronger than me is pointless," Haruka told him, tipping him mercilessly back down onto his futon while Fuyubi - the old traitor - watched and didn't lift a finger or speak a word in his defense.
"Is that your official medical opinion?"
Fuyubi knew him well enough to hear the danger in his tone and gave him a sharp look, but again, didn't say anything. Hn. Well, maybe the old man just preferred to let other people make their own mistakes. He could accept that.
"What, don't slow your recovery with stupid fights? Does it need to be?"
"It sounds to me like before I can be allowed out of your care to fight anyone else, first I have to prove I can beat you."
Haruka's ability to mask her feelings really suffered if you caught her by surprise, Izuna reflected, basking in the sudden and obvious look of realization followed by intense and instant regret that flashed across her face.
"Uh."
> Self Indulgence Sandbox <
Her face had felt like her face, but how was she supposed to have known what that meant? She looked more like herself than she would have expected, still with her sharp chin and strong jawline, angular cheeks and eyebrows and faintly hooked blade of a nose. Her features were maybe a bit awkward with youth now, but she figured she would probably grow into them again. She was more likely to grow into someone more handsome than pretty, mitigating factors of the apparently mandatory Uchiha prettiness aside.
The upward sweep and angles of her left eye were more or less the same fox eye shape that she’d always had. Her right eye had always been slightly rounder, just another weird effect of the general distortion of that side of her face. Now she had one fox eye and one plum blossom eye, and that of all things was what was making her trip over herself as she studied the face that was now hers, but wasn’t.
She thought transmigration was supposed to start you as a baby? What was this nonsense with her having to get used to a new face and body during puberty? She did her time with this already! There better be some damn good perks to compensate her for having to do this again!!
… Okay so she was starting with a fully unlocked version of one of the most powerful kekkei genkai in the world, so. Maybe that was her compensation.
Still, she was a teenager again, and it was bad enough the first time. She really didn’t want to do it again, but the alternative seemed to be dying, so she’d make the best of it.
And it could be worse, at least she didn’t seem to have a System like some of those novels had that gave her secret quests and restrictions and shit, that would suck a lot.
> SVSSS Surprise Bunny <
"This is the guy that regularly makes you cry from being mean about your writing that you freely admit is shit churned out to keep you in crap discount noodles and stuff. Totally understand why you'd want some troll with delusions of being a literary sophisticate to know where you live, people that get off on feelings of superiority over stupid shit are usually great IRL buds."
Wow, that was rich coming from her, although Airplane valued his life too highly to say that to Miss Sha's perfectly made-up little face. "... Did you just say eye are ell like... did you just do that?"
She put one of her claws fingers in his face and he gulped, going a little cross eyed trying to track both the potential murder-talon and what she was saying. "You have no room to talk about being internet poisoned, first off, and second off, this is about you and your shitty security decisions, not my unique and quirky idiolect."
Yep, she'd been spending a lot of time around Liu Mingyan again, huh. It was always funny hearing the younger demon generations picking up modern slang. If Airplane wouldn't have ended up super dead almost as soon as he arrived, he'd love to see how their royal demon families handled the generation gap getting so much more dramatic now that their realms were in conjunction again for the first time in he didn't care how many thousand years. He was willing to bet that Lord Sha would shrug it off, but Mobei-jun's uncle? His dad? Hilarious.
Not that Mobei-jun hardly ever spoke around him, so Airplane's assumptions about him acquiring modern speech patterns were mostly theoretical, but it was funny! He could maybe use it as inspiration for a skit in one of his short spinoff stories! He was very careful to hide the sources of his inspiration, of course, but he was still so glad Mobei-jun definitely never read any of his stuff. He didn't need to know how much inspiration Airplane had taken from his... everything.
Anyway, he was trying to banter with Sha Hualing and making her feel ignored was never a good idea. "Oh, were you going for manic pixie dream girl on purpose? I've never been sure."
She leaned in (eep!), red (berry bright, juicy, stop trying to narrate real life like it's a lead in to some last minute before the deadline filler papapa, come on, especially not about these assholes you call friends sometimes when the shivering purse dog you have where other people keep their self-respect is napping on the job!!)
Yes! Anyway! Red lips, very nice mouth he supposed if you were into that sort of thing, but it curved into a very mean little smile that wouldn't have been out of place on any of the meaner wives in his novels. Which wasn't surprising, Airplane guessed. He drew inspiration from many sources, he was a man of varied tastes that could cater to a wide range of paying readers!
"And you never will be," she told him smoothly, giggling as he whined.
He was still sick! This was patient abuse! Or something!
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Mixer.
I’m just thinkin bout it, I’m not gonna do it.
I did it
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Selever x Fem Reader
CENSORED CUSSING.
Time taken: Idek all I know is i don’t sleep anymore
friending
There’s two endings. This post shows up until the turning point.
romanting
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(Y/N) laid on her couch staring up at the ceiling. It was the middle of July and she was hot, bored, and sweaty. She sat up and reached for the remote, just to be caught off guard by a text notification. Selever. She opened the app.
[Selever] Hey Roachy!
[Selever] my friends and I are going to the mixer
[Selever] come with to even out the numbers
(Y/N) looked at her screen. A mixer huh? Cool beans. It's not like she had anything to do over the summer. She typed quickly as she replied.
[Y/N] cool lemme in
[Selever] lmao you're actually gonna come?
[Selever] okay, well, meet at 401 Dragon Rock Ave.
[Y/N] there's a bar there??
[Selever] lol who said we're going to a bar
[Selever] we gon be going to kareoke b####
[Y/N] OK
[Y/N] what time
[Selever] idk, around 8.
[Y/N] K see ya
[Selever] ciao
(Y/N) looked at the clock. 6pm. She had about two hours to get ready. She set a 50 minute timer and turned on the TV. She had time to burn.
So the time came. (Y/N) ran out her house with her purse in hand. She slid into her car and started it up. Streetlights passed as she turned left and right. A call rang. She picked it up. "Hello, who is it?" She asked.
"Hello, I called to talk about your car's extended warranty," Selever replied. Snickering could be heard. (Y/N) laughed. Why did he always start a call like that?
"Hi Sel," she said.
"Where you at right now?"
"I'm only like, a hundred meters from the place."
"Ha, sure you are."
"Oh hey! I see you! Okay, imma hang up!" She closed off the call and pulled her car into a parking slot. Selever stood waiting for her. He was wearing something pretty different from his normal attire. He had a magenta dress shirt on, and a black suit vest over it. A complimentary black tie and dark dress pants completed his look.
"Woah I didn't think you'd actually come," Selever smirked. "Getting desperate?" He asked.
"Ha, no. Just doing my job as the number-even-outter." (Y/N) replied, getting out of her car.
"Really? Cause you seem pretty dressed up for someone who's just evening out the numbers." He was right. (Y/N) had dressed up a bit for this occasion. She wore a blue one piece with a flower on the head of its belt. She wore a white cardigan, and two strands of her (H/C) hair, tied in braids, met at the back of her head. She wore knee high socks, and Mary Janes completed the outfit.
"Yes really, now let's go in! I wanna destroy everyone's eardrums!" (Y/N) grabbed his hand and entered the building. This one seemed to be slightly different from other bars. Like a Japanese kareoke place? There was a reception area, and you'd go into a room to sing. They ran past the reception and straight to the room at the end of the hall.
Selever opened up the door. "THE LAST LADY'S HERE!" He yelled. In the room were two other guys, and two other girls. Starting with the girls, there was one with blue hair, which was tied back in her pony tail. She had pink eyes and wore a grey turtleneck with a long skirt. The other girl had black hair, which covered her left eye. Red eyes. She wore a beanie, as well as a black shirt. She wore jeans, giving off a relaxed vibe. As for the two guys, a grey cat was among them. His hair? Fur? Was tied back in a ponytail. He wore a yellow hoodie over a suit, she assumed. He wore black pants and wore brown sneakers. Last one was a skull of... a goat? Moose? A demon? He wore a white dress shirt, and brown dress pants. His body and limbs seemed to be invisible, as his head and hand floated in the air.
(Y/N) cautiously entered the room. "Hello.... I'm (Y/N)." The girl with blue hair waved.
"Hi!! I'm Sky!" She held some cards in her hand. "Wanna play Uno with us?"
"Sure," (Y/N) said, sitting down. Selever also sat at the boys' side. A round passed. Then two. Then an an hour, as they ate and sang.
"Kay! Uhhh (Y/N!) It's your turn!" The cat man said, taking the input pad and handing it over to her.
"Sorry Kapi, I'm not too good at singing," she denied.
"You sure? You haven't sang all hour."
"Mmm maybe one song." She took the pad and
scrolled through the songs. Bingo. She entered the code as a upbeat tune started playing. She held up the mic, slightly embarrassed she was singing this. Selever gave her a thumbs up and smiled. She took a breath and sang. The others watched her as she hit every note. When the song finished, she put down the mic and quickly returned to her seat. They clapped for a moment or two.
"Woah. You're pretty good (Y/N)!" Sky said.
"I'm really not," (Y/N) said.
"Oh for f###'s sake, just accept it," Selever rebutted. "You're good and you know it."
Kapi stretched. "Okay, I think we're all warmed up."
Warmed up?! That was warming up?! For what?! (Y/N) confusedly looked around the room.
"Tabi, where'd you put the spinner?" Kapi asked.
"It should be with the chips."
Seriously what were they bouta do?! Kapi took out a spinner. On each slice was each of their names. Tabi, Annie, Kapi, Sky, Selever, (Y/N), all of them.
Kapi flicked the arrow. Landed on his name. "I GO FIRST!" He said, grabbing his phone. He fiddling with it, he got something to play on the screen. His own song. He took a deep breath and started to sing. Annie cheered him on. (Y/N) looked in shock. He was singing his own song. This probably means the others have their own too. Goddammit, no! She prayed for the wheel to never land on her, she didn't have one yet! Kapi's song finished, and the screen read, "Beathoven.mp4 - unknown". "Oh yeah! That felt great! Okay, who's next?" He spun the wheel again. "Uh... Annie! Ya gonna go?" Annie took out her phone.
"Hell yeah I am." She took a swig of her drink and got up. After fiddling with her phone, a new song started playing. She bopped her head a few times, until she also started to sing. (Y/N) leaned over to Selever.
"You know I don't have a song! What do I do?!" She whispered.
Selever leaned back. "It's fine. I can cover you if it lands anyway. Just get one of your weeb songs to play if I can't." As Annie's song finished, she spun the wheel. Sky
Same routine. She got up, fiddled around, and sang. (Y/N) paid no attention to it. She was only thinking about what would happen when her turn came. What does he mean he can cover her?! What does he mean play a weeb song?! Did he mean vocaloid? Before she knew it, Sky's turn was over. Kapi spun the spinner.
Oh god damn it. "(Y/N)! It's your turn!" He slid the pad to her. She looked at it in fear.
"Um- a-" she was cut off. Selever picked up the pad.
"M'kay. I'm bored. My turn motherfruskas!" Nobody stopped him. Just sighed and shook their heads. He tapped his phone. A steady beat came out of the speakers. Selever smirked at (Y/N) as he began to sing. It was upbeat. Pretty steady, until 30 seconds in. A sudden tempo change. His song was upbeat. And somewhat fast. As the song finished he put the mic back down on the table.
"You had a song?? Wh- why is it so chaotic?! HOW'D YOU EVEN HIT THAT?!" Sky questioned as she, and the others clapped.
Selever leaned back with his hands behind his head. "It's was made to fit me, and me specifically. Of course it's chaotic."
Kapi put away the wheel. "Okay, since there's only Tabi and (Y/N) left now, I'm gonna flip a coin. Tabs, heads or tails?" He flipped it into the air.
"Tails." Tabi replied. Kapi caught, and shielded the coin from view. (Y/N) prayed it was tails.
He revealed the coin to be... "Tails! 'Kay Tabi, you're up!" He handed the pad to the floating skull, as a new song started to play. (Y/N) let out a sigh of relief. At least now she could think of which song to sing herself. I mean, Aishite was pretty good, but dark. PoPiPo sounded too idiotic. She could sing partners in crime.... if she had a partner.
"So, be honest (Y/N)," Annie said, still keeping her eyes on Tabi. "You don't have a song, do you?" (Y/N) jumped.
"I uh..."
"It's fine. I didn't really expect someone like you to have one anyway."
Someone like me? The hell does that mean?! (Y/N)'s pettiness rose up. She still didn't have a song, but she sure as hell knew which one she wanted to sing. Just as Tabi's song finished,
she snatched the pad and connected her phone. She looked up at the screen. Beeps played as she stood up, grabbed the mic, and waited for the first notes to come. She took a deep breath, turned to look at everyone and sang. "EVERSINCEIWASBORNFROMTHATDAYIHADKNOWNTHATIAMNOTHINGMORETHANASIMULATIONBUTI'LLKEEPLIVINGUNTILLDESTROYED, LIVINGFOREVERYESIAMAVOCALOID. IFFOREXAMPLESINGINGWASJUSTATOYTHATWOULDSINGBACKTHETUNESYOUGAVETOTHEMIDTHINKTHATWASALRIGHT, WHILEILOOKATTHESKY, BITETHISLEEK, WATCHTHESOUPPOURINGFROMMYEYES. BUTEVENSOI'LLDISAPPEARTHATIKNOWAPERSONALITYCHANGINGWITHEACHSONG, EVERYTHINGIWASBUILTONWASN'TSOSTRONG, ALLOFTHEPLACESIKNEWAREALREADYGONE, EVERYONETHATIKNEW, THEYDON'TREMEMBERME. HEARTORSOULIHAVENOTHINGLEFTINSIDEOFMEICANSEETHECENTEROFTHEVOID, YES I AM A VOCALOID!" She huffed as the intro stopped. The others looked at her wide eyed. She smiled. She may have regained a bit of confidence. As the vocals continued, she did too. Hitting every note perfectly as the song went on. At the end, she set down her mic. Selever clapped for her, and the others joined him. Tabi looked at the clock. Holy crap. 2 am.
"Okay, I have to go, I have work," he said, getting up.
"Actually, we should probably all go now. The time's almost up anyway," Sky pointed out.
(Y/N) picked up her purse. They were right. She didn't have anything to do over the summer, but it was getting late. They all walked out to the parking lot, and said their goodbyes. Only Selever and (Y/N) was left now.
"So, got anyone you put your eyes on?" Selever asked. (Y/N) sighed.
"They were nice, but not really my type, ya know? Would go drink with tho 100%." She smiled. "Besides, I don't think any of the guys really liked me."
#friday night funkin#mid fight masses#fnf#fnf x reader#fnf selever#selever#fnf sky#sky#fnf kapi#kapi#fnf tabi#tabi#fnf annie#annie#selever x reader#fluff#fanfiction#textpost#text post#mod chocolate#sky is in this#i don't mean any offense#mixer#i didn't realize tabi was 22 until after writing this so shhhh#mod chocolate doesn't sleep#it's ooc i'm so sorry#trying to fix it#sorry#i'll post those two separately#if i can't
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Hey dude, I really like your music taste so do all the music questions that you didn't already answer 🌚
OK DUDE HERE THEY COME (except 1,6 & 14)
...
ok lets do number 1 again
What's a song you've been listening to a lot lately?
as the world caves in by Matt Maltese, if I get high by nothing but thieves, and literally anything off waterparks’ new live album, that thing makes me feel so ALIVE bc like LIVE MUSIC
Is there an album you recently discovered and are obsessed with it now?
well waterparks live in the uk obviously but if the last 6 months count as recently, then the new abnormal by the strokes. its... absolutely breathtaking. I don't have words. 0 words. except these dudes know what the fuck they’re doing. and then I found the devil and god are raging inside me by brand new and jeeesus. literally Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ was my most played song in 2020 AS IT SHOULD BE bc its EVERYTHING this album is THE SHIT. every song is just *chef kiss* like there's limousine (omg limousine) and you won't know and not the sun and AHH listen to these albums omg
Put your playlist on shuffle and show the first 10 songs. No cheating.
i assume “your playlist” means all my saved songs so
Topography by Civilian (pls go listen its SO great)
Na Na Na by mcr yees issa classic
Du schreibst Geschichte by Madsen omg geeerman
just saying by EDEN (pretty pretty pretty)
Westerland von den Ärzten another classic
letdown by nothing,nowhere. sad but the good kind of sad
The Man by the killers making fun of toxic masculinity gives me LIFE
Graffiti by CHVRCHES YES
and death stranding by CHVRCHES too YES SO GOOD
simmer by Hayley Williams, a queen
How do you tend to discover new music? If you do at all of course
I do enjoy what Spotify suggests, like my weekly mix brought a lot of bops in the past, although sometimes it just sucks lets be real. I also like the artist- or album-radio, when I wanna find something similar to an album but not the album.
and another thing I lovvve is when artists I like recommend music, for example, have you seen dallon weekes instagram stories? THE TASTE? bc yes, someone who writes music like that MUST have a superior taste in music and he fucking does.
What app do you mostly use to listen to music?
Spotify :)
Is there an artist that you feel ashamed of listening too?
I can't think of anyone so probably not
What is your favorite album cover art?
omg. I have to go with more than one.
so there's where the mind wants to go/where you let it go by I the mighty, one of my favorite albums of all time, and I'm going to say it how it is, I LIKE THE COLORS. the blue-ish imagine with the red omg. look at it pls.
Also fandom by waterparks looks SO COOL. again the COLORS
and I love the art for Isola by Kent.
I recently discovered you wouldn't believe what privilege costs by civilian and I think that cover is pretty cool too.
well and then there's petals for armor by Hayley Williams, the cover art is so fucking powerful Jesus I get goosebumps just thinking about it. in case you don't know about it, long story short: there's been a lot of shit going on in Hayleys life in the past. relatable imo. then they made after laughter and its been like u know what fuck it we’ll just laugh and dance through the pain. together. and I LOVED the vibe omg it gave me so much. but for Hayley it kinda postponed REALLY dealing with shit. she came home from touring with AL and she also got divorced during the AL era and everything's shit and out of all that came petals for armor. and in it she reclaims femininity, being alone, being powerful, being a women, everything. and ah yeah we were talking about the cover art, the cover is her, having a line of squares on her face, three of these squares are tattooed on her fingers though bc its where her ex husbands initials used to be that she got covered up. WHAT A MOVE. THE POWER.
(if anyone is interested in hearing Hayley talking about/explaining all this, I really recommend watching her interview with zane Lowe. its SO GOOD basically free therapy)
How much did your parents influence your music taste?
a. lot.
my dad listened to a lot of “dad rock” you may call it, I guess a lot of dads listened to stuff similar to this. Deep Purple, the police, simple minds, Green Day, Billy Talent, the scorpions and things like that. what influenced me the most tho was the beatsteaks (german band, very good), die Ärzte (german band, very good) and LAST BUT NOT LEAST the fricking blues brothers. my favorite movie (not the 2000 remake, go watch that in hell where it belongs), a great, charismatic band, unbelievable live performances. very big WOW from me.
Do you own any vinyl?
don't get me started omg. I DO. I wish I could take a photo but my records are at my parents house so ill just name my favorites.
-after laughter and brand new eyes by paramore
-violent things by the brobecks and their song boring on 7inch (this is very rare ok)
-razzzzmatazzz by idkhow in gold :)
-may death never stop you by mcr (my first one, I bought it first and then bought a record player for it, that's how it started lol)
-omg the black parade is dead by mcr, this was never available on vinyl until record store day 2019 (?) and I hunted that bitch like idek what it was insane but I found a super cute small record store and the owner didn't have copies of it bc NOBODY DID but he fucking CALLED THE LABEL even though it was way too late and he asked if they'd send him a copy and THEY DID I FUCKING OWE THIS MAN
-and omg Isola by Kent (in Swedish tho bc the English version was never pressed on vinyl) this was intense. I searched for like 2 weeks and then, on google results page 8 or something, I found what could've been the only copy on the damn internet and it was very expensive but its MINE NOW
-my signed vertigo vinyl by EDEN, its clear and on side D it doesn't have music but a little message engraved it the vinyl IT IS CUTe
-Placebos MTV unplugged! I am so I love with this album. SO. in love. and one day, when I was in Berlin to see palaye royale, back when we had concerts, I walked by a random record store and they have like 4 records left bc they were closing or idk and the only one displayed in the window was this one. tell me about FATE
Do you own any cds?
not many. sometimes when im at the store and I see ones I know or like, I just buy them and put them in me moms car bc I want her to listen to them. or when I find a cd by a smaller artist I enjoy, I buy it just to push the nachfrage. HI i am HERE and I WANT this music
Is vinyl really better than listening on a digital device?
im not gonna be that middle aged white male audiophile that hates on our generation for using Spotify. bc its great. I think its just different. I mean im sorry I don't carry my record player on the bus with me, pls forgive me for using my phone? having immediate access to most of the music that is out there? wow. what a concept. I love the internet. YES TECHNOLOGY. but. vinyls are... different. I feel likes its a different kind of listening. I feel like youre rly LISTENING. and that way isn't better, or right, and im not saying it works like this for everyone. but when I put a record on, my only activity at that moment is listening to music, I sit down and I listen. to the entire album. so skips and no pauses, bc that's how it works. and I think that sometimes, that can do a lot for you. if you let it.
and besides that, physically owning a record makes me happy on a level nothing else really does. fuck I love music so much and when I fall in love with it, I fall hard. and then owning a copy of it, something I can touch, something that is MINE, putting it in my little shelf, looking at it every few days and just being in love? fantastic feeling.
What is a genre of music that you tend to go to for comfort?
sad shit. I feel like I can get great comfort from the sad shit. or maybe just slow shit. and songs that mean a lot to me and have been around me for some time, they have this other level of comfort. like for Emma, forever ago by bon iver for example. I have a playlist, maybe I'll reblog this again and link it ;)
Do you tend to like poppy upbeat songs, or more intricate and interesting songs?
both. sometimes I wanna have complicated stuff and analyze the shit out of lyrics and instrumentation, sometimes I just wanna v i b e
If you have a favorite band or artist, tell us about how you got into them
I liked paramore before but when they posted the video of them performing last hope at reading? it was over. when Hayley sang the bridge it was over. now im a die hard fan and I never looked back
Is there a song that came out this year that you like?
maybe after reading all this shit you expected a list but somehow I can't. where do u even start. but the answer is definitely yes.
THANK YOU FOR REQUESTING I COULD GO ON FOR DAYS
#asks#music#i guess#not me putting I guess after my tags all the time#I like guessing#questioning everything is a lifestyle
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Submissions from 🦚🌺
So took me a while to scroll through to my last tagged ask (for some reason searching didn’t work). So much about staying consistent and actually tagging my stuff from now on. Gosh uff. The one where sibling found possible drugs and the one about mom being xenophobic almost causing shut down as in passing out were me too. I usually either tend to forget to tag or I guess am kinda scared since I feel I send in A LOT? I really don’t know. It’s just a lot going on and I feel bad always (1🦚🌺)
I feel bad always throwing all my stuff at my friends. Especially as one friend a few years ago was diagnosed with depression. Idk what her current situation is tho except that she seems to do better. I won’t ask her since I feel weird about that stuff. Plus really unless she wants to tell me it’s none if my business. But yeah that’s that I guess. Now… I’ve been rejected from the art college/highschool unfortunately so that’s out the window. My therapist suggests volunteer year 2🦚🌺
Whivh we have a social and economic one of I think? Idk. I know social won’t work because of my likelyhood of social anxiety which kinda self explanatory I guess. Economic I’m just scared I wont be able to pull the whole tear through, scared to do stuff wrong etc. Hell I spent 2 low sleep nights crying after the rejection and mom forced the answer out of me when I clearly didn’t want to talk about it. Turned into an argument about how I got forced into abitur/regular highschool 3🦚🌺
And OBVIOUSLY she blames dad for it. Which like… great whatever he told her. My point is HE was more supportive in front of ME than she was. She just tore me down 2 years ago. Next week I dont have a therapist appointment since she will be moving. So I’m praying this week will go by smoothly. Well as smooth as it can go with all the arguments around here I guess. I’m still trying to process everything since March 4🦚🌺
1? 2? I’ve lost track of time … weeks ago she and her bf fought very badly and she essentially ran away for an hour, he claimed he is leaving but then stayed. My younger sisters were all crying, my brothers were just not surprised and I had to try call family members (which calling others is a physical challenge for me) trying to find a way to deal with what happened. My therapist knows about this incident. She now also knows moms bf smokes weed but not about what 5🦚🌺
else we found. I’ll see if I can bring it up soonish since it still worries me… my brother also later confirmed again he caught them snorting it so yeah most likely we are right about it being cocaine. I feel uncomfortable looking up the effects of it but my cousin said that could explain a lot of moms behavior. Shes always been this way I think.I right now dont even remember where I was going with this ask chain hhhh frick.I’m loosing track of myself once again please send help 6🦚🌺
(Have to switch to browser because app again refuses to let me send stuff wtf) My mom also is back onto “oh you just have split personality!” … I have informed myself on DID and OSDD, I have symptoms yes. But I doubt it’s that. In fact my therapist even talks about that stuff with me! I have different parts but mom doesn’t know they exist so idk. I tried to literally tell her how DID is made and she didn’t want to listen. She claims she did almost everything right and I’m making up 7🦚🌺
My trauma. So you would think that she would stay away from assuming such a trauma heavy diagnosis. Welp she actually doesn’t know anything about mental health either way and legit took my brother off his adhd meds years ago because “they changed him too much” and then refused to take him to appointments when we noticed signs of tourette in him because she felt like she fucked up as parent?? Wat?? I can’t make sense of this woman anymore tbh 8🦚🌺
Sorry that this is all over the place, it’s 1am for me rn, I cant sleep really, still am trying to process I won’t see my friend who I was looking forward to seeing this year for 2-3 years and who would have been a temporary escape from this hellhole until at least another year or 2 depending on the situation, being in the top 10 corona countries and in fact second most infected state in germany and really just switching between sliding down to a kid and /or almost passing out 9(?)🦚🌺
almost passing out when trauma responses shut me down and I just can not describe my emotions of the past months other than I just want someone to hug me and to feel safe and to feel like this mess at home and the world isn’t happening. My mind is all over the place and I feel like at this point I’m going insane and I’m not making any sense anymore. Again sorry for the probably stupid rant/,vent that probably made no damn sense idek anymore - final🦚🌺
So much about what I sent in yesterday hoping for the best. 3 hours ago I woke up to a message chain about how we (me and my siblings. We are 6 in total) apparently abuse her and use her. And basically just complaining about the tiniest things regarding chores. For example yesterday I completely cleaned the kitchen and she complained because some dishes stood around since people still ate AFTER I did the chores. Like tf. My friends say it seemed like from the screenshots that she is 1🦚🌺
using us as tools? Idek anymore. She also completely ignored me sending her and asking her stuff about the valounteer year last night since the school rejected me and I need that alternative. Apparently a clean flat is more important than my literal future. On the other hand I for once had a normal conversation with my almost 15yo brother (I’m almost 19, however not mentally and also not in the position to move still especially with the virus and all) and it turned out that he shares 2🦚🌺
Moms views on therapy whivh I’ve mentioned in the past aren’t really the best views on it. So yeah that’s just great. He basically just thinks it’s stupid. Either way. Currently my only way of possibly getting away would be a psychiatric /mental hospital stay. THING IS while I’m bety aware it isnt like in the movies I am deadly afraid of the thought. Not having my freedom to come and go when I please, not being able to meet up with friends or something etc. I would not feel safe and 3🦚🌺
it would just expose me to a lot of stress and anxiety which wouldn’t be any better than being yelled at constantly at home and having mom shit talk my friends. Everything is just kinda a mess with her rn and my siblings don’t see it from my perspective. Like YES we mess up and don’t do things right. She has a reason to be mad. But NO she doesn’t have the tight to essentially abuse us and no her behavior isnt parenting this is manipulation. 4🦚🌺
They only see the first half and think she’s in the right… I myself struggle to differentiate right and wrong and am unable to read situations well, which is why it took me 17-18 years and my friends calling it out to realise this is wrong. But I at least listen… they don’t. I sometimes just wish I grew up in a stable functioning family. Or honestly that she never even had me since she was VERY young when she had me so that’s probably why she never learned how to 5(?)🦚🌺
Act properly towards us. As she had me when she was just my age (18) and then the following 8 years had 4 more of my 5 siblings. I feel she never had time to grow up and learn herself especially considering she was abused herself…. final🦚🌺
Hi 🦚🌺,
It's good to hear from you again! There's absolutely nothing wrong with messaging us often, so feel free to tag all of your asks that you send in! I think that will actually make it easier on both of us, as you'll be able to find responses easier and I can look back on your previous asks easier to make sure I'm not missing anything or repeating myself :) Also, the search function on tumblr is quite picky, so unfortunately it can be hard to find posts. I've run into the same issue with locating old asks on the blog as well!
It's understandable that you don't want to bug your friends with your problems, especially if they have some mental health struggles of their own. However, it might help to think of it this way: mental illness is so common that chances are most people you meet will have some sort of struggle with their mental health, which means you wouldn't be able to talk to anyone about your struggles if you don't want to bother someone who struggles with their mental health. That doesn't seem fair to you! While everyone needs to have boundaries, especially to protect their health, I think it's reasonable to share things with your friends when you're struggling. You deserve that support, especially with everything else you have going on in your life!
It must have been devastating to not get into art school and I'm so sorry that happened! It does sound like volunteering could be a potential route for you to go down, even if it's just until you figure out what you want to do in the future. It makes sense that certain volunteer options can be rolled out based on the nature of the work and the things you struggle with. Perhaps there is something you could do from home that wouldn't trigger your anxiety. For instance, I volunteer for a text-based suicide hotline, which I do from home. I'm not saying you have to do something exactly like this, but it might spark an idea that you or your therapist maybe haven't thought of yet. It's just something to think about.
What's going on with the drugs in your house is definitely concerning and I think it would be a good idea to bring that up with your therapist. It's really dangerous to have these kinds of drugs around with younger kids being there. Not only is it possible for kids to accidentally get into it and harm themselves, but it's also dangerous for them to be around adults that are high because of their erratic behaviors. This is why I think it would be wise to talk to your therapist about this to see what input she has.
It's great that your therapist has talked to you about your diagnoses as well as what you don't have that your mom has tried to say you have. I'm sure it's frustrating to have your mom make those accusations, but I think it's good that you at least have your therapist there to reassure you that you don't in fact have those diagnoses.
It's so disappointing that your friend won't be able to visit as you guys had planned because I know you were really looking forward to that! Unfortunately, coronavirus seems to ne ruining plans for most people all over the world. Hopefully you guys will be able to come up with another plan for meeting up, though it likely won't be able to happen until the pandemic is more under control. Still, at least making tentative plans for meeting in the future may give you both something to look forward to once travel is finally safe again.
I'm so sorry that your mom treats you and your siblings this way. It does sound like she may use you guys as tools, as your friends put it. This is sometimes another sign of abuse/neglect, which honestly isn't surprising considering all of your mom's other behaviors.
What you mentioned about getting out of the house makes sense and I agree that an inpatient stay might not be the best way to go about it. Not only will that be more restrictive, as you mentioned, but most hospitals won't allow inpatient stays unless the person is incapable of keeping themselves or others safe while receiving outpatient care (though I obviously don't know whether this is the case for you). I still think it's a good idea to keep thinking about potential ways of getting out of your mom's house once you're ready for that. One option I'm wondering about is a group home (I think these may be called something else in other countries but it's basically a house where several adults with varying physical and/or mental illnesses live together and there are usually various types of staff who also stay there). These can sometimes be a bit restrictive, but much less so than a hospital would be. I believe they typically have a curfew, otherwise you're allowed to leave during the day. Although I'm not sure if this would be a viable option for you (and it probably wouldn't be anyway until after the pandemic is more controlled), it's just something that popped into my head when thinking about other ways of eventually getting you away from your mom's abuse.
What you said about your mom's parenting vs. manipulation is 100% accurate. It's very common for someone who was abused by parents to go on to abuse their own children unless they put in the effort to change, but know that you still don't deserve to be abused and manipulated. It's not your fault that your mom was abused and never unlearned the negative behaviors she saw experienced as a child. You and your siblings all deserve so much better than this!
-Samantha
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Fjord and Jester’s talk. Ep 43
OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY
HERE IT GOES MY DUDES
LISTEN
I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS ABOUT THIS CONVERSATION
First of all I loved Jester checking in on Fjord because while the others agreed that he’d been pushed maybe too far in this whole ordeal and that they should support him, she’s the one that does so openly and directly, just by asking if how he feels.
(side eyes everyone who ever tried to claim Jester didn’t really care about Fjord’s feelings past his attractiveness like BITCH YOU THOUGHT)
Also pls Travis’s face when Jester says she’s looking for Fjord is the face of a man that knows his wife is about to destroy him with emotions
“So.... that happened.” “Yeah.” “How do you feel about it?”
And I want to mention that Jester looks almost scared of asking, and I think it is because she’s afraid that Fjord harbored real feelings for Avantika, especially when she described their thing to the Plank King as a “romance”, and Jester just looks so tense as she waits for Fjord’s answer.
But then he says he’s relieved and she gives him the smallest “yeah?” and he just goes “yeah” and it’s just such a soft thing
They are both so freaking relieved and you can see that, with Avantika out of the picture, this little exchange just feels like a wall that’d been building between them for weeks ever since they were at sea has finally been lifted and they are seeing each other clearly for the first time ever since they stood foot on her ship and they just look into each other’s eyes and it’s like a breath they’d been holding is finally released
honestly i think @lavellenchanted really said it best in her post
And Fjord, who is always trying so hard to seem confident and in control, admits to her how worried he was about things going south
they are SO SOFT around each other
like they are the personification of that one quote: “Ah, those two. In a fight, they're lethal. Around each other, they melt.
And like just the softness Jester exudes, she was so gentle and careful through this whole conversation and you can see this is too important for her to be fucking around with it
So then she asks about going to see his shipwreck and you can see how tentative she is about it, not outright asking or prying but giving him a chance to share...
“You didn’t get to ask him about Vandrin, though,” she offers, and I love that she’s bringing this up because, as much as they’ve talked about Fjord being uncomfortable with certain things like being put in a leadership position, trying to keep everyone safe and having to “deal” with Avantika, Jester knows Fjord enough to know that the part that hurts him the most is what he’s finding out he knew so little about a man that meant so much to him.
Even during the trial when Avantika tried to use Vandrin against him and blame Fjord for his death, you can see Jester visibly tense up and search for his eyes and you can see that those words, even if lies, hurt Fjord and I am so glad that Jester —who knows him the most— is the one that sees this and brings it up, gently.
And when Fjord says “no, I didn’t” you can just see how much of a sore subject it is for him, but he goes a step further and externalizes those feelings, trusting her with this vulnerability without having to be prompted, volunteering so much honesty that usually only Jester gets to see.
“It hurts to see so many react to a name that only meant so much to me, but... I mean, I don’t even know if he’s alive. We might find him down there,” Fjord says and he does so with a sad breathless laugh, and it’s heartbreaking because he’s still in denial, holding on to that little thread of hope that (if you remember) Jester suggested months ago when he first told the others about Vandrin.
And I think Jester knows that this is highly unlikely, but she won’t say anything to break Fjord’s hope... so instead she says
“Do you think that if we find him you’ll stop talking like him?”
Jester sounds so sad when she asks this, and her voice is gentle and careful, and she knows SHE HAS KNOWN ALL ALONG that Fjord’s accent is just a symptom of how freaking sad and lost he feels after losing Vandrin.
And the way Fjord drops his gaze and half nods and just says “maybe, we’ll see”
HE’S SO SAD
AND JESTER IS SO SAD THAT HE IS SAD
and like we’ve talked about how these two can’t handle seeing the other upset and how they will do anything in their power to cheer each other up and protect each other’s feelings
and like that pause when she’s looking at him and he’s just looking down is so damn similar to the pause during the jellyfish conversation right before he brings up the treasure
So of course Jester reaches out, but not with a joke... she does the same thing he did for her and makes an offer, a way to fix what’s hurting him.
And listen i love love love their exchange about messaging Kiri
Because at first Fjord looks worried
Look at that FACE
Just like with the jellyfish conversation, I think Fjord was once again taken by surprise by Jester’s sadness. Not that she was talking about being sad, but this was more about how much she misses Kiri and how sad she is that she hasn’t gotten a chance to see her again
Except of course then she manages to make it funny and you can see Fjord’s face light up
And like idek if this faces are ic or ooc but look at those mfking heart eyes my dudes
Also Fjord chuckling and asking if Kiri replies with “go fuck yourself” and making Jester laugh was just so cute and pure
But then Fjord backs out and says he doesn’t know what to say —and I think, in all honesty, he’s terrified of what answers he might get and how they could finally break whatever image he’s holding on to of the man that raised him
What gets me
WHAT GETS ME
is the earnest in his voice when he says “Thank you for offering, though.”
Fjord sounds honestly touched by the gesture and there’s always some underlying tone of surprise when Jester does this kinds of thing for him (same as with the Academy letter and with the tusk thing) and like why wouldn’t he be surprised??
like
I AM SO EMOTIONAL ABOUT THIS
Fjord
Fjord who’s an orphan, and a survivor, who never had anyone other than himself to rely on, who the world has been so cruel to since childhood... who is so taken back by Vandrin having taken him in that after his death he adopted his freaking accent as a reminder if him
Fjord doesn’t know how to be taken care of, how to be looked after, and even when the M9 have constantly assured him that they are here for him and that they are willing to follow him in his search for answers there’s always a hint of disbelief in his part?? like he’d do that nervous chuckle and be like “yeah, i appreciate it, but the moment you want out that’s okay too” and he’s like not entirely buying it because he doesn’t know how to
And yet
AND YET
There’s always something particular about the way he thanks Jester, something much more open and sincere and accepting than it’s been when others like Caleb, Caduceus or Nott have vocally offered him support.
And Jester shrugs and says “of course” because like OF COURSE OF COURSE OF COURSE she would do anything for him
And then
Laura Bailey destroyed me
by perfectly understanding all I am saying about this moment
and connecting it emotionally to the other favor he’s asked of her, to the other time he opened up about his past, to his vulnerabilities but also to the reminder that she likes him just the way he is
“Your teeth are coming in.”
FJORD IS SHOOKED
LOOK AT HER SMILE SHE’S SO PROUD
FJORD BLUSHING LIKE HELL
Like, Fjord who has hated that side of him for so long, trying to get comfortable with it, and being reminded of it by this girl who is sunshine and smiles and who sees it as a good thing and is so proud of him for daring and who looks at his tusks and smiles
and Fjord just covers his face with what is probably a reflex from his childhood
a way of hiding the very thing that is a target of hatred
but her voice is so gentle and her smile is wide and her eyes are so soft and Fjord blushes and smiles
“yeah.... yeah... okay... alright....”
Jester just straight up broke him.
ALSO TRAVIS STRAIGHT UP ENACTING A FJORESTER FANART SCENE HE LIKED AND SHARED ON TWITTER IN APRIL LIKE I WANT TO SEE ANYONE CLAIM HE’S NOT SUPER ON BOARD WITH THIS SHIP ALREADY
“Thank you... for.... not... telling the others...” he manages to get out, his hand always returning to his mouth to cover the same tusks she’s looking with such loving admiration.
and listen
listen
this is a big one for me
okay because the accent like i could talk for hours about it but i just want to say that the fact that it’s something so harmless and yet Fjord’s been defending its secrecy for months really gets to me because like
The fact that Fjord doesn't want the others to know and it’s so important to him
like he or jester could've come clean about it when Caleb caught him and it's just not that big of a deal?
Except for Fjord who is so desperate to control how he's perceived by people is probably so embarrassed to let them know how deep his mourning goes...
Except with jester because he trusts her the most and he doesn't have to pretend to have everything under control around her and he can be vulnerable i just
So the fact that she’s kept quiet about it for months.
That she hasn’t used it for even the sneakiest joke
that she kept quiet when the others tried to pry the answer out of him
that she has known about Vandrin for so long but didn’t let on about it when he was brought up with the nein or with avantika
listen
we’ve been begging for months to know more about Fjord and Jester’s beginning and how they know the most about each other and trust each other completely
and this plus the jellyfish conversation are like the foundation of what makes them so great
these little glances we get about how open and honest they are when it’s just the two of them
this is the side of their relationship that is only theirs and no one else gets to see
this is where the real sparkle happens
And then
of course
the awkward
perfect
romcom classic
(perc’ahlia parallel)
nervous moment
when the two realize how much they’ve opened up to each other and are unsure on how to deal with all this feelings so the dumbasses just run away
and like we been knew about jester’s feelings
but Fjord’s awkwardness is on par with hers
The way he looks at his hands like a crushing schoolboy
Travis’s final facial journey
the way Travis is still quiet and deep in thought when the rest of the table has moved on to the next joke
THIS SHIP IS HAPPENING PEOPLE AND THIS IS AS CANON AS THEIR CANNONBALL SHARING
Which, as Lavelle pointed out, is a great show of how they’ve sort of restored that old trust and dynamic.
Really love that Fjord was the one that asked her to share.
And the way she says “sure, Fjord” and that’s that because in Jester’s own words they “make a pretty good team”
like BYE
BYE THIS KILLED ME
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i’m having a REALLY bad day
or really past couple of weeks where work is concerned and i just wanna vent bc you know sometimes people out there in the working world understand ya know???
its long, beware. idek if i’ll keep this up its more so for me to just let it out.
so like i’m an office admin for a company (we’ll leave it nameless for protection purposes) and like i supervise receptionists for my office so i’m kinda an office manager but not technically? if that makes sense.
anyway. people these days just don’t want to fucking work like EVER and like to start jobs and then up and vanish to collect that unemployment which to me is really just dumb since there are rules to it in every state and nine times out of ten you’re making like 60% of what your normal paycheck would be and thats surely not enough to live on, so like ??? i don’t get it.
there’s been a constant rotation of receptionists come and go over the last couple of months and two girls who work for me have stepped in on numerous occasions. one lady is in her 60s and doesn’t know anything about computers and is kind of dense?? to say the least. nothing against old ladies. i actually find a majority of them cute or hilarious bc they say what they think and dont give a f*ck who it offends and sometimes that blunt honesty is refreshing and you just need it in a world where people bullshit you 24/7 to further themselves for selfish gain and yaddy yada
anyways.. over recent weeks she’s become more and more intolerable to deal with. i ask her to do things and she gives me attitude and its like the simplest of things.. like email this person, make sure you let this person know they got a package, etc, etc. she can’t do even the most basic of tasks without screwing up. her attitude is just atrocious.
and due to people coming and going i’ve had to alter our schedule a lot. recently, one girl requested off so i adjusted the older lady’s hours (lets call her--carla) mind you carla only works 1 day a week and i’ve been super generous in giving her the entire week of christmas off so -- yeah.
anyways the girl who requested off (we’ll call her nicole) told me she didnt need those days off anymore and so i fixed the schedule one more time to her original days/hours.
now, i print off the schedule every time a change is made and whoever is at the reception desk i tell them to let the other girls know and post it right by the computer they sit at every day so theres no excuse for anyone to say i didnt make them aware. well carla is not the brightest bulb as we already established and she doesnt pay attention so we pretty much have to coddle her apparently and make sure she understands (although its pointless bc she doesnt no matter how hard you try to explain something to her) ANYWAYS she comes in on nicoles day when she wasnt supposed to anymore bc the schedule was fixed, posted, etc. and she gets mad when i ask her why shes there. and yes, i understand that the rotation has fucked us all over and up in so many ways. she is not the only victim here. this has been stressing me out left and right and to no end for MONTHSSSSS. so like i get it? i’m sympathetic to that. i understand the confusion and frustration, i’m right there with them.
HOWEVER, because she’s annoyed/mad/whatever she gives me attitude all day yesterday and is flagrantly disrespectful. i’m her supervisor, regardless is someone upsets you, act professional.
but she doesn’t. we know that. or at least I DO. anyhow.. she’s mad. she’s pissed off right? she’s got an attitude. she sees the new schedule, she brings it to me in my office and asks if its the correct one for tomorrow WHICH SHE IS ON!!! let me make that clear. she was on. she asks if its correct, i’m in the middle of composing an email so i take a moment to respond ‘yes’ she huffs, storms off and goes “you know what? nevermind” i’m like.... okay?? i brush it off. i’ve been brushing off her poor attitude all damn day and i dont say A THING. BC I GET IT. I UNDERSTAND. IM SYMPATHETIC TO THAT. we all have bad days. we all get a little frustrated sometimes. we’re human, yeah?
yeah. right. ok.
so then like... carla is working the morning shift for nicole. both carla and nicole showed up. carla pitched a fit bc she came in and was already there and didnt want to go home so nicole was so sweet about it and said thats okay, she can work i understand. bc even though nicole is like half her age, she’s MATURE.
at this point i dont even understand why carla is so upset? she got to stay. she got the hours. she’ll be making the money. all is good right? WRONG.
when the next girl comes in for the afternoon shift, i over hear carla telling her about the mishap that happened that morning (yesterday) and my office is literally maybe 6-7 feet from the front desk so i can hear EVERYTHING that goes on. i mean this is my job. i’m pretty much in charge of making sure the office is running, our employees are happy, etc.
so yeah i over hear carla telling this girl that and i quote “yeah nicole came in this morning and the schedule was switched around and i stayed because i was already here. (then something unintelligible I cant make out bc her voice lowers) you know, it really pisses me off that this keeps happening.”
SHE SAID THIS. TO A NEW GIRL. MAKING ME, NICOLE, EVERYONE LOOK BAD EVEN THOUGH SHE GOT WHAT SHE WANTED, NICOLE APOLOGIZED, I APOLOGIZED FOR THE MISHAP, IVE DONE EVERYTHING FOR THIS LADY TO PACIFY HER OR WORK WITH HER OR COMPENSATE HER.
so its so infuriating, disrespectful and really downright disgusting for her to trash me, my name, etc to someone. but you know what? I DONT SAY ANYTHING. I dont cause a scene. I go about my business and let it roll off my shoulders bc at this point I know if I say anything its just going to turn ugly and I’m in a professional setting. Sometimes its better to bite your tongue, hold your head up high and move the fuck on about your business.
NOW... oh now, we’re on today. carla is scheduled to work. she came into my office, confirmed it, she was FULLY AWARE OF THIS.
so nicole calls her 5 mins before shes scheduled to clock in and is politely like hey you on your way? and carla is like oh no i don’t work today.
BITCH! THE FUcK YOU MEAN????? WE CONFIRMED THIS LITERALLY!!!!!!!!
omg i cannot at this point i really cannot
but lets proceed... so carla. she’s like yeah i dont come in, tells nicole to check with me. nicole comes to me, i smh and just sigh and am like ok i’m sorry can you please call her back and tell her shes supposed to be here and if theres any issues, transfer the call to me. so nicole calls her, they’re talking, carla is being a cunt (sorry at this point you are) and so i talk to her and shes like you know, this is so frustrating i came in there i asked you if i was supposed to work and you said no (the other girl she trash talked to idk who to name her) and IM LIKE SITTING THERE GOING ????? WHEN????? TO MYSELF BC WE JUST HAD THIS CONVERSATION
MY PATIENCE IS SO THIN, ITS NON EXISTENT AT THIS POINT IM OVER IT
IM TIRED
IM SO FUCKING TIRED AND SICK OF HAVING TO PICK UP THE SLACK AND DO EVERYTHING MY FUCKING SELF BC NO ONE CAN COME TO WORK, DO THEIR JOB AND GO HOME.
can i just make a point too that we make $12 an hour here. sometimes we are LITERALLY SO BORED we have nothing to do. we can read books or watch netflix if no one is around or i even have time to rp at times. so like THIS IS THE EASIEST JOB IN THE WORLD A FUCKING MONKEY could do it.
all you do is answer phones and transfer calls or send an email
its LITERALLY. THAT. FUCKING. SIMPLE????
so like i just dont get it
but back to the point... carla is arguing with me, basically saying my communication sucks, i’m unprofessional (which is laughable but ok) etc...
and i just cant hold it in anymore?? and i’m like well carla, i’m sorry you feel that way and i understand where you’re coming from but i don’t appreciate that you were disrespectful yesterday, you told (new girl) that you were pissed off about what happened and proceeded to talk about me in a really unsatisfactory way.
and she WANTED TO TRY AND SAY THAT THIS WAS A DEFAMATION TO HER CHARACTER. WHEN SHE FUCKING SAID IT!!!!!!!!!!! i mean you can’t but if you were to ask anyone i know i have freakishly good hearing and it gets on my family’s nerves all the time bc i need quiet when writing and i have to beg them to turn their tvs down low just so i can concentrate.
I FUcKIng HEARD THESE EXACT WORDS COME OUT OF HER MOUTH!!!! and she wants to sit here and say that i’m defaming her character.
NO BITCH. Im repeating what I fucking heard you say!!!
why would i make that up? why??? how does that benefit me in any way??? what does that do for me???? NOTHING! ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!! i’m not benefitting from anything here.
in addition when talking to her on the phone i bring up the fact that she brought the schedule to me (the correct one which SHE IS ON) and asked me to verify if it was correct. but then proceeds to say in the same breath (contradicting herself) that she’s going off the old one????? like okay????? but you’re wrong?? SHE EVEN SAYS ITS AN OVERSIGHT ON HER CHARACTER, SHE ALREADY MADE PLANS YADDY YADA, SHE CANT COME IN TODAY
moral of the story is... she’s dumb. she’s a fucking cunt. and i hate people who try to spin things and victim blame and tell you you’re defaming their character when you call them out on something real they actually said because they’re scared little pussies and can’t just admit its what they fucking said.
yo i’d have a lot more respect for you if you just admit it. i’m not even mad??? i dont give a fuck what you think or feel about me. when i leave here every day i dont come home and cry about work or how people feel about me there.
work me is different from real me. I. DO. NOT. FUCKING. CARE. work people do not know me on a real level only a professional one. i am here to do a job, to make money, to pay bills, to LIVE. i am not here to fret over the opinions of people who do not follow me home, who do not know the real me. WHO. DO. NOT. FUCKING. MATTER.
POINT FUCKING BLANK.
THANK YOU AND GOODBYE
like seriously?? GOD FUCK! i’m so angry.
if you read all of this, like thanks for letting me vent to a total stranger lmao you’re a real one, may you be blessed today and always.
onto that note... i gotta get back to work. (lmfao fucking irony at its finest)
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Hey I apologise because you'll prob grt multiple asks on this. I was impartial to raf v michael, but I'm mad after that ep! Raf was a bastard to Jane. Excuse my language. He didn't show any empathy towards her with her mixed feelings considering the love of her life is back from the dead. Having champagne ready after he think she posted the divorce papers 😖 he makes it like jane is the bad guy especially when michael just wants jane to be happy and tbh I feel he would have more right to be 1/2
2/2 pissed considering he got attacked and presumed dead and his wife is with someone else. I really don't get jennie tho! With raf at the end talking about being 2nd choice it's clear he's gonna be 1st this time, but why don't they write him as a good suitor for Jane? I understand being upset as he's scared Jane isn't going to choose him, but he's so selfish. I saw people stanning him and saying Jane is selfish. He literally chucker her out the house and used Mateo against her! 😵
so I MEAN. okay. this ask is pretty loaded, my answer might get a lil long lmfao so. here we go.
first. re: people saying jane is selfish. because i’ve been seeing this too and it’s the one huge thing that’s been annoying me to no end and here’s why: jane and michael never broke up. michael DIED. “died” whatever. the way you get over someone you broke up with for normal reasons is different from the way you “get over” someone who died. that’s just... i feel like that’s kind of a given. so i don’t know why anyone expects jane’s feelings for michael to be completely erased because realistically? it makes sense that she still does. let me put it this way. now that alba has feelings for jorge, does that mean there won’t be a part of her that’ll always love (her dead husband) mateo? that there won’t be a part of her heart that’ll always belong to him? having that part of her that’ll always love mateo doesn’t mean that she loves jorge less, or that her love for jorge is of less value than her love for mateo or anything like that. it’s just different, and each has it’s own value. and i feel like that’s just how it is when people lose people to death? you don’t just forget about them, you don’t just stop loving them. you move on, you learn to live without them, you learn to find a new normal without them, and maybe even find new happiness but that doesn’t mean the value of the person lost is gone just because they’re gone. the only difference is, michael turned out to not be dead, and so those feelings are getting rehashed. i feel like that’s expected, and idk. all shipping aside i just feel like it makes more sense for jane to be confused than for her to not be confused?
which leads me to: two. rafael’s reaction. i mean listen, i feel like his feelings are understandable. being scared he’ll lose jane, wanting to protect himself from being hurt, etc etc. but i really feel like it could’ve been written better in a way that doesn’t make rafael come across as an asshole. i’ve already said this but: when rafael found out michael’s memories were back, this could’ve happened instead: raf asks jane if this changes things, jane says i don’t know. raf is visibly disappointed but doesn’t say anything about that and gives her a few days to let it sink in and process her feelings and he tells her they can talk about this again then. the few days pass by, jane and rafael have a huge talk. jane says she’s still confused, and rafael is sad and nods, and says he understands that this is difficult for her and he wishes he could sit and wait for her to decide, but that he’s so sorry because he can’t, that as much as he wants, it’s just really hard for him. and then maybe offer to sleep on the couch for the night and not make jane leave immediately...? idk i feel like that’ll still have given people all the feels without raf coming across like a pos who kicked jane out after her mom was just hospitalized. idK MAN BUT I FEEL LIKE I COULD WRITE RAF BETTER THAN JENNIE. lOL. her choices when it comes to raf are just .. idek.
anyway, idt he ‘used’ mateo against jane or anything like that, and tbh i don’t think rafael actually believes jane will choose him (i wanna throw up even saying the word choose like jfc im so sick of this damn triangle and all the choosing)... i mean listen. this is rafael. he was insecure about CHUCK when he was dating petra. chuck. anyone who can be insecure of a trashcan of chuck’s level like that has some seriously wild insecurity issues. raf has always been insecure. but i still wish they’d addressed those insecurities in a different manner. not like this. it looks bad. and this is coming from a person who has always rooted for rafael’s growth... but like. the writing is making it so hard, damn. i stand by this: character growth would be rafael realizing his worth on his own, and that he doesn’t need to compare himself to anyone. character growth isn’t bringing back jane’s dead husband so that jane can choose raf over michael in the end. that’s not the way to address insecurity. like. that’s... ?? it’s not. like i’m sorry i’m just really not about this whole comparing yourself to the dead guy storyline nonsense.
but yeah. idt rafael wanting to protect himself is selfish. it’s the way his feelings were translated into action that’s the problem for me. the feelings are valid. the way he went about expressing those feelings, on the other hand, was a lil cringe-y for me, personally, and like i said, could’ve been written way better.
#ask: jane the virgin#ask: rafael solano#ask#jtv spoilers#anti rafael solano#just in case#not exactly anti raf#but anti the way he's being written lately#but same same#tagging just in case#long post for ts#Anonymous
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Wheel Of Fortune
EXO
Park Chanyeol x Reader + others
Characters: EXO
Summary: Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. Chanyeol was head over heels for you but he was 100% in denial that you liked Kyungsoo.
Word Count: 1k+
Warnings: CRACK FOOL. RUN IF YOURE NOT HERE FOR THAT, jealousy, bottled emotions, fluff ending, etc.
A/N: this was TOO FLUFFY tbh. i wanted to hurt myself but it turned into fluff but oh well
let’s start at the beginning
your parents were introduced by mutual friends and started talking on the phone
okay kidding that’s too far
right
so you worked at SM
and is the maknae of a seven member coed group that debut a year after BigBang and a year before SHINee
(so 2007)
which considering the fact you were younger than Sehun by a couple of months meant you debuted at 10
just roll with it cos ITZ MY VERY SPECIFIC PLOT DMMIT
wheLP
the members were all exactly one year apart and the members from eldest to youngest,, the sequence was a guy (@ 30 yrs old), a girl (29), a guy (28), a girl (27), a guy (26), a guy (25), then you (24).
I KNOW I DONT NEED THIS BUT THIS IS HOW I IMAGINED THIS PLOT IT DMMIT
ok
since you were basically a sunbae at SM even tho u were a smol child you wanted to show your support to your hoobaes
So a day before their debut as a whole group, you, along with the eldest member of your group, who was the leader, visited EXO in the dance studio and gave moral support
You were A BIG FAN and it showed
not that you were hiding it in the first place
your leader was HIGH KEY embarrassed by you, but low key thought it was kinda cute how excited you were for this song
so dUH EXO dances growl for you
anD YOU NEARLY SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST BECAUSE OF HOW PERFECT EVERYTHING WAS
Luhan’s voice
Baekhyun’s attitude
Sehun’s resting bitch face
eeeerrrrrthing
YOU WERE ON THE FLOOR SCREAMING
literally
and Junmyeon thought you were adOrAbLE
“I think she malfunctioned,” your leader gave a face and pushed you on the shoulder to see if you were still breathing as you let out a silent scream
“CAN YOU GUYS DO IT ONE MORE TIME”
?????
Jongin was too out of breath to fight you
but lol u know what
they did dance again for you
BECAUSE YALL HAD THE CUTEST LIL FACE AND YOU WERE LIKE 16 SO
after that your band and exo were pretty much in one group
like hella tight
you were bsicly conjoined twinss
You could be at an award show and your table would be abandoned because you decided to sit with exo or vice versa
HYPING EACH OTHER WAS NOT EVEN HYPE ANYMORE BECAUSE IT WAS LIKE YOU GUYS WERE RABID OR SOMETHING WTF
!!!!CALM!!!!!DOWN!!!!
like you + your group to them:
“thtAS MY CHILd!”
“DID YOU SEE YIXING AND HIS HIPS FUCK YOU BITCH!”
“HE WAS RUDE. THAT WAS RUDE. THAT’S NOT ALLOWED”
“GET OFF THE STAGE SLUT”
“WWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP BITCH!”
“~~~that was sooooooo sOFYT”
“CHEN STFU! YOU NEED TO STOP USING THAT DAMN VOICE OF YOURS JONGDAE. THATS ILLEEEEEGAL!”
“myY HERT!”
“OPPA *cries in korean* PLESS!”
“WHAT IS THIS FUCKERY!!!!!?“
‘iN fRonT oF MY sALaD”
“PA$$ THE H01Y W4T3R”
“NO KAI. BAD KAI. STTOOOOPPPP.”
you @ baekyun
baekyun @ you
thIS IS A CHANYEOL HEADCANON BUT I LOOK AT THIS FUCKIN MORON WHO I HATE SO MUCH SOMEONE SAVE HIM FROM HIS IDIOCY
them to you + your group:
“first of all fuck, second FUCK”
“wh-- whT WHAS THAT HIP MOVEMENT. U ARE 4 YRS OLD”
“HE did t h a t.”
“NOOOOOONNNNNNNNNAAAAA ch0k3 me”
“I CANT HEAR YOU OVER U BEING SUCH A HOE”
“i cant beLIEVE THIS STADIUM IS SO QUIET” *ears are actually bleeding*
“NOt TODaY S4T4N”
“I DIDNT ASK FOR THIS”
“how does this have 300M views????? ONLY 300M I--”
“GAAAAAHHHHH WHAT WAS THAT MOVE WHT WAS IT”
“my soul has been touched”
“this is TOOOOOOOO much ma lord”
“DID YOU JUST RIP YOUR SHIRT OFF?“
“TAKE YOUR SHIRT OFF!”
“ASDFRTYUJM ive been shot”
ya dig
it’s not verbal abuse if they can’t hear you cause of the bass and the fact your on stage performing
but like
you guys did everything together
practiced
ate
shopped
toured
pranked
T O G E T H E R
like who else in SM mattered
SHINee who?
JK YOUWERE A SHAWOL THROUGH AND THROUGH
you reassure Minho everytime unless you wanted to die that day
YOu EVEN FANGIRLED OVER TAEMIN’s MOVE WITH MINSEOK
BUT YOU OBVI you had MORE THAN ENOUGH ROOM TO BE AN EXO-L and an elf and a cassie and a so-won and DONT FOrget a vip and a---
you get the point
ANYWAY
as you were close with everyone you had a special bond with every individual
YALL STILL TEXT WITH YA BOY KRIS
yOU WENT ON A SHOW IN CHINA WITH LUHAN
TAO LEAVES PUKE COMMENTS ON YOUR INSTA POSTS
my ot12
and as much as you say you are equally close with everyone
errbody knows that be bull the size of russia
yall caNNOT dENy that you and chanyeol have the same crack powder on your philtrums
LIKE KYUNGSOO CANNOT LIVE WHEN YOU TWO ARE TOGETHER
LET HIM LIVEEEEEE
this moment must never die
ya boy be mindin his own business then
BAM BITCH
you and chanyeol be makin D.O. cray af
rest assured he HAS thought of how he’d kill both of you
ANd that’s why chanyeol loves you
like he decided he liked you the moment you lost your breath laughing when he threw a rubber duck at Kyunggsoo’s head, making it squeak in the most demented way no one thought possible
but he knew he loved you when you helped him lighten up on one of his dark days
you had that kind of effect on people
i mean all you did was sit down with him, both of your backs leaned up against each other’s, head occasionally leaning against the other’s head or shoulder, and played some nothings on the guitar and ukulele
but that was more than enough
you were there with him
and that’s what mattered
But literally the moment he accepted his feelings for you
he began to notice something he felt 100000% dumb for not seeing before
the way you laugh when Kyungsoo says a lame-ass joke
the way you always hug him from behind
you did that with literally everyone you were close with sure,
but Chanyeol noticed you did it with him more
and he 3
there was also the way you were just always winding up next to Soo when he was around, like he had some sort of magnet on him
and how you just liked poking his cheeks, begging him to show his dimples
which were really faint like gurl--
chANYEOL HAD DIMPLES TOO
CHANYEOL HAS DIMPLES
why daheq did you like his close to nonexistent ones?????????
????????
okay you liked poking Lay’s dimples more
look at my boy, who i love with burning passion ANDWILL DESTROY SM FOR BECAUSE HE JUST WANTS TO BE WITH HIS BAND SM SM SM!!!!! CHINA KOREA POLITICS FK ALL YALL
and suho
and chen
anD FINE--
yeah you did poke his too
literally anyone who remotely has dimples tbh
BT WHY KYUNGSOO
ads;ajsd;lasjdkas #jelly
so chanyeol decides to ask someone about it
so he obviously goes to his wisest hyung
but the day he wants to talk to Suho, YOU WERE ON A DATE WITH HIM
like a date but not a date date he could tell
BUT A DATE NONETHELESS AND HE WAS KINDA JELLY
so he goes to Baekhyun for some fucking reason
and he’s like “omg u like her i couLDnt FUCKING TELL FROM ALL THE HEARTS IN TH AIR”
instant regret
but like Baek did give him some advice
like 5% was advice
the other 99% was him screaming to just be a man and tell her
so chanyeol is like, “STFU.... also she likes kyungsoo so fml”
and for a hot second Baekhyun has nothing to say
BAEKHYUN HAS NOTHING TO SAY
“idek dude. this is why i flirted with her openly”
Chanyeol punched him for saying that
but he decides he’s going to tell you after like 231109 years
cos Jongdae said you don’t like Kyungsoo and that he’s sure of it
Chanyeol asked how he was sure and he was just all like
“she had a crush on Sungmin hyung before and DID NOT act like that at all.”
That made Chanyeol a lot more hopeful
So he just went for it
and asked if you wanted to get lunch
and then after eating, you guys walked back
and he just sort of blurted it out
“Joahaeyo.”
you just looked at him and chuckled, “Thank you. I like you too, Yeolie.”
bitch are you for real rn
before Chanyeol could clarify, your walking slowed, “I’ve known for a while now.”
ok
wait
w h a t
“Minseok oppa told me.”
?????????? uhm HOW DID HE KNOW
Chanyeol’s hands were waterfalls atm, “Why did he tell you?”
Your face starts burning red and chanyeol cant help but think of it as a bad sign
“I told him I liked him...”
“... and he said he can’t reciprocate because he knows you like me, and that he can’t do that to his dongsaeng.”
waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
cool story bro
you liked someone in EXO that was NOT him
cool cool cool
I GUESS CHEN WAS RIGHT
THANKS
wait did that mean chanyeol was this obvious
wait did that mean chanyeol ruined your chances with his hyung
wait was this why you cried that one time
WaiT WAS THIS WHY YOU HUNG AROUND KYUNGSOO
BECAUSE WHENEVER MINSEOK WAS IN THE ROOM, YOU WOULD GET KINDA STIFF AT A POINT AND KYUNGSOO MAKE A JOKE TO MAKE YOU LAUGH
WASTHIS WHY YOU TWO HUNG OUT MORE
WHY HADN’T HE NOTICED
AND IF EVERYONE ELSE DID
WHY DIDNT THEY TELL HIM
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Chanyeol frowned and called out your name, proceeding to apologize
“Wae? why are you sorry? did you tell minseok to say that to me?“
he couldn’t feel mushy and weird at what you said
“YA dont tell me youre going to be weird around me too. It’s bad enough Minseok oppa distanced himself a bit.”
Chanyeol couldn’t help but be angry, sad, protective, and annoyed all at once at what you just admitted to him
“I’ll tell him to stop.”
You pouted, “you don’t have to tell anyone anything, chanyeol.”
“yes but you don’t deserve to feel awkward around anyone.”
“yes but that was minseok oppa’s choice.”
“yes but he was only doing that because he’s my hyung and he’s dumb.”
“yes but--
OU KNOW WHAT WHY DONT WE ALL JUST BE AWKWARD AROUND EACH OTHER”
and so you walked forward fast and tried to ignore chanyeol
Chanyeol, with his freakishly long legs caught up with you though
he caught your arm
“What tf are you doing?“
“Ew dont talk to me its awkward. im awkward. your awkward.”
Chanyeol laughed. “yaaaaa, why do i like you?
“THAT’S WHAT IM THINKING HO”
#crack fic#exo headcanon#chanyeol headcanon#chanyeol x reader#chanyeol fluff#chanyeol angst#chanyeol fanfic#exo fanfic#kyungsoo x reader#park chanyeol#park chanyeol x reader#do kyungsoo fluff#park chanyeol smut#park chanyeol fanfic#park chanyol fluff#exo fluff#exo angst#exo smut#minseok fluff#minseok fanfic#minseok headcanon#kyungsoo headcanon#chanyeol crack#exo crack#crack headcanon#exo crack headcanon#chanyeol crack headcanon#chanyeol crack fic#miseok x reader#chanyeol gif
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Almost every one of my friends is in the bnha fandom and legit everyone at school is the same way. They probably don't even know about any other anime ono
I used to be in the fandom for like 3 months I think and I went crazy over it but jesususus Christ I hate it so much now You Have No Idea™️ And I was a deku fangirl too EW 🤢🤢 DISSGGOSTINGG.
Whenever I get an ost from it stuck in my head I always turn my head like really fast and think about a different song like JUSTadICE because I hate it so much :'[
The only character I could ever see myself even reading about the slightest bit is Bakahoe(that's what my friends used to call him) because he hates everyone. And that's all. Because I legit hate every character in the whole thing hehehehehhedhwhdhshha
It got to the point where I sometimes end up tearing up because I genuinely do not want to ever here about the fandom again. But when all your friends talk about it, even your friend's mom, everyone around you and I swear to God every ad I see is THAT, it makes me WANT TO MURDER gahdhs
I don't think anyone would understand my huge ass grudge against it I mean. I have so much flame left but I don't wanna get flamed back for it so haha yea
basically I hate it so much and I CANT BELIEVE I USED TO LIKE IT 😭😭😭 I just wanna like what I wanna like and I can't bc sum dumb purson showed me what it was and I.
At least I heard about Black Clover from my friend first in 2017
I'm so glad he's still my friend even if we've only been friends for 4 years agdhsh
An alternative I call BC is Dark Clover or Dark White Clover so I don't have to say the whole holy sacred name of the gods. I legit worship this show, not this show, BUT THIS UNIVERSE OF BC because uh. It's awesome? It's my obsession?¿? WHY ELSE¿¿?
Every Tuesday it's a half sacred day and Wednesday is sum weird fan day I use to look at fanart and stories and draw and then Thursday is 3/4 sacred and Friday is like... Half of 1 quarter sacred I think? I don't remember but also I usually write and draw on Fridays but I didn't finish the 8th chapter of my main fic rn so.....yea........
I'm randomly posting this idek why I made this lol
Oh and by the way I can officially say (actually I could say 8 months ago) that I love and am obsessed with BC more than any world I have ever been in
When I say world I mean it because calling it a fandom doesn't sound right. It legit feels like I ......exist in the world ya know...........
Eddsworld yeah sure I liked it (I went batshit over it but not as much as glass animals or fnaf or anything like that) and I liked it for a year and a half and I was a tord fangirl (cough EW A 30 YO MAN AT THE TIME) but in the middle I liked things like black butler and the avengers and Sally face and Rick and Morty so of course I made crossover connections between the two.
I don't have respect for eddsworld anymore since I never really got the feels from it, and I'm just out of it now. Whenever I look at it, I just can't believe, I liked that for a year and a half? That's actually what ruined my life but also helped because I got a lot of funny friends from it but also Tord influenced me to do stupid shit like "bEtrAy mY fRieNds" as I called it back then which basically I was like "lol I wish I never met any of you" which. Damn. Edgy much¿
I think what it is between me and it, is that I'm like, "Oh. It's ok I guess. I don't like it that much but it's ok".
I think it would be like
Asta that gets possessed and he does stupid shit because of that
Tord
Yuno because he can't tell who's the demon and who's Asta so he ends up hating both
Tom
And then Matt and Edd is whoever. Matt could be Kirsch and Edd could be Rill but they're not main characters. So idk.
I'm gonna stop now because I don't even wanna hear about it anymore idk why but hearing about other world's kinda making me sick rn
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Anyone who think Kit is a good actor is an idiot. And there's so many of them. That's why the world is getting worse and will be dominated by robots 🤖
oddmy dearest @the-bitter-gremlin hopefully you’ll get the tag because I really wanna make sure you see this reply :’DDDDDD
now, point the first: thanks for calling me an idiot! :D I mean, okay, not that grades mean anything of course but given that I went as far as graduating HS in the top five of my class, that I have two degrees one of which with the highest possible vote in a field that’s technically not too easy and that it’s even certified that I speak at least one language at native-tongue level and I can get by in two others other than mine I think my brain is fine enough, thank you.
I also watched more movies than the average person (no, I did, really, I considered studying cinema instead of going to proper uni for real), my top ten favorite movies is all stuff made before the nineties except for one and all my favorite actors are Certified Good Actors Like For Real and I got called a snob for my movie/actor taste more times than I can count. the only reason I’m doing this long-ass preamble is to inform you that if someone can’t act, I can recognize it and I have absolutely no problem admitting it even if it’s someone I like as a person or whose work I enjoy. for one, I can 100% admit that my favorite italian actor when he was nine back then was pretty atrocious (he got better admittedly but I haven’t followed him in a while, so who cares), and I still enjoyed his movies anyway even if he was terrible and I even knew it, but hey, he was hot, so who cares, right? and I enjoyed a fair amount of horribly acted italian fiction because it was fun, so really, I don’t have anything to lose here.
this was all a long preamble to tell you that yes, my favorite actor is marlon brando not the first idiot passing off the street, and yes, kit is actually good at what he does and no, people are not idiots for thinking that.
now, never mind that idek if you saw him in anything that’s not GOT, but the only movie of his I’ve seen where he was really meh was the spy movie and that was because the entire plot sucked ass and the character was terrible but everything was terrible. for the rest, he certainly pulled a better american accent than half of the british actors I’ve heard (it was brimstone by the way, excellent movie, watch it), he can do comedy (watch seven days in hell :D) and ah, yeah, he’s just making a movie/finishing a movie with xavier dolan who’s like… not someone known for picking bad actors. also, uuuh, he went to school for that actually, but not just anywhere -
ah, wow, HE WENT TO THE SAME SCHOOL WHERE LAURENCE OLIVIER, VANESSA REDGRAVE AND JUDI DENCH WENT but okay, sure, they’d totally take someone talentless according to them? and actually:
In the 2008 Research Assessment Exercise the majority of Central’s submission was judged “world leading” or “internationally excellent”. The school has been ranked highly by The Guardian, placing it sixth in its league table of specialist institutions[9]and ninth for Drama and Dance.
LOOK AT THAT, TOP-NOTCH SCHOOL.
now, what is that british acting schools prepare people for? theater.
which means that he’s a theater actor first and foremost, which shows in his damned acting because if you notice he does half of it with his voice, but I guess you were too busy thinking he’s too good-looking to act, right?
except that not counting theater stuff, GOT was the first job he had *and* his first job on tv, which means that of course he wasn’t as good as the others in the beginning, because a) acting for the theater and for tv aren’t the same, b) it was his first job and not everyone is named leonardo dicaprio and can act their way out of a what’s eating gilbert grape at seventeen.
thing is: while at least one of his co-stars hasn’t improved in the role they have (imo but it’s also the writing) and most of the others GOT actors are either seasoned professionals or had acted for the camera before and had less issues adapting to it, he actually got better, and he actually acted a lot better when he was feeding off other people. case in turn:
youtube
that’s jon and jaime in s1. admittedly, not kit’s best effort unless you interpret it as jon being so lovestruck by jaime being around him that he’s like 404 page not found, and he had one scene with NCW from then until S7, and they didn’t even interact. NCW is miles better than he is here, obviously, but like, NCW has been in the job since the early 90s and I assure you his first danish movie isn’t his best acting effort either even if it’s not bad. BUT, let’s go to another S1 scene:
youtube
jon and sam discuss sex, yey! here he’s with a guy - john bradely - who’s probably (at this point) better than him at reciting on screen, but with whom he’s had a lot more scenes and that is playing his best friend and with whom he presumably hung out a lot and with whom he’s had a lot of time to work with. and even if it’s still S1, if you look at it it’s miles better - he does a lot more of microexpressions, he never looks at the camera (first sign of bad acting btw, he didn’t do it in the previous scene either but there he looked starstruck all the time, here he doesn’t) and like, you can already see that there’s a vast difference in between the two. and it’s the same season, five episodes apart - supposedly they also filmed it later and he’s already more at ease with it.
now, small pause to remind you that at this point jon doesn’t have too much extra baggage BUT that kit actually read the damned book and you can see it because he makes very precise choices ie in the book after jon burns his hand he flexes the fingers of the hurt one every time he’s nervous or he’s about to lie or something, and he does the exact same thing (link here btw), and fyi, with the exception of partially alfie and gwen, no one in the cast actually went as far as that so HAHAHAHAHA WOW SUCH BAD ACTING, INNIT? anyway, that was season one. I’ll spare you and myself S2/¾ also because if I link you the jon/ygritte scenes I’ll shoot myself in the head. instead, let’s go to season five and 5x02, as in the season where I literally would have quit the fucking show if it wasn’t for jon’s storyline.
youtube
if you look at this, he doesn’t even say a fucking word until the ending, and you can see exactly what he’s thinking just looking at his damned face, because if you pay even the slightest bit of attention you notice that he changes expression minutely with every damned word sam and thorne say, you can see his eye movements, then he goes from complete sour to sad to angry to surprised to delighted to worried to happy again in the span of four minutes without even talking once and it’s miles better than anything he did in S1.
or you could also rewatch the scene where he punches ramsay in S6 where he does a lot of microexpressions that speak for him without even talking, again, in an episode where he did all the stunts on his own same as the rest of the show, and that’s really not little given all the work it goes into being, uh, the main character, who also happens to have to be a seasoned fighter and use swords and so on. (I can’t link but I think I exhausted my limit for linking videos on tumblr so whatever *SHRUG*)
guess what: HE IMPROVED. GREATLY. IT SHOWS. learn to watch the damned thing, it doesn’t take going beyond GOT to realize it. and now, two last things I have to say to you before I finish this because I honestly wasted too much time on you already.
one: he might not be the best actor around - fair enough -, but kit’s definitely good imo. not passable, not decent, not average - he’s good. and he’s learning and he’s improved tremendously in the last eight years and it shows, and he put enough effort into this role to a) read the canon, b) incorporate the canon into it, c) actually changing scenes so that they fit canon more, d) do all his own stunts, e) carry 60% of this whole damned liver-destroying show on his shoulders since at least S5 in which his sl was the only saving grace of the entire thing and he executed it perfectly, so kindly fuck off and don’t go to people calling them idiots because they think an actor is good.
(ps: I
two: going into people’s askboxes and calling them idiots because they enjoy something and insulting what they enjoy is a) rude, b) uncalled for, c) an asshole move.
next time let me/us/whoever enjoy this guys’ acting in peace and keep your fucking opinion to yourself, because honest, if I could spend twenty years out of almost thirty of my life keeping my mouth shout about how much I hate HP to a) my rl friends, b) my internet friends and I could keep myself from informing them that I think it’s really bad under their posts or in their inbox or to their face because I’d be an asshole if I decided to shit on what they like, then you can pay me the same favor (or about anyone else) and not go around dissing stuff people like to their faces when they said openly they like them.
sayonara and call me when you get an emmy nomination :’)
#kit harington#tagging bc I have a feeling it might be relevant#dskljgklsdg#ch: jon snow#game of thrones cast#is2g y'all were raised not even by wolves#wolves would be more polite#like shut the hell up man#REALLY shut the hell up#@ anyone else: IF YOU DON'T LIKE KIT FINE FOR YOU I DON'T CARE I DON'T NEED TO KNOW#thanks very much#blergh#extra wank for ts#the-bitter-gremlin#ask post
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It’s been about 4 or 5 hours since I’ve read that travesty of a finale. TSM Book 1 was terrible on many levels, but that final chapter soured me on the rest of the book. I’m going to probably continue it for Zig’s sake (since PB has forgotten James exists) but emotionally I’m checked out. I love my MC Davina and Zig together and yeah.
I’ve seen multiple posts about the thing with Manny and I’m not going to dive into the Zig aspect as much because I’ve seen a lot of good posts about that. I do feel like the MC has also been at the end of Manny’s wrath. Not as much as Zig, but if you’re romancing him then you see a lot of Zig’s story and the inner workings.
I feel like the aftermath was downplayed more if you weren’t romancing Zig. It turned into let’s get back to this party and now let’s clean up or sleep with our LI. There wasn’t a chance to check up on Zig and talk about it more as a friend, and even as an LI you hear Zig’s take and the MC says what she is worried or thinking about is the Abbie drama. I’m sorry but your boyfriend was just assaulted and you care about someone else’s romantic bullshit. Nah, that’s too weak. I’m not saying PB should have had a long winding talk, but more than what we were given because next it was like let’s have sex and stay warm. It felt disjointed to me. After the incident there was a look in Zig’s eye (if you romanced him) that he wasn’t all there. I mean how can you party after that? I even feel like my MC would be so hollow to the entire party after that. She would smile and try to play hostess but she would think back to that moment. Blaming herself, blaming Manny and blaming whoever opened that damn window. My MC would have decked him right then and there and kicked him out. She would feel protective of Zig, as he does her. There would be that mutual sense of I got you, and you got me. After something that heavy going back to a party and the boiler plot felt so idk just wrong. There was also no mention of him being kicked out, so Manny very well could have still been at the party and hovering around.
And also let’s put how Manny is terrible to the MC as well and has been. He was trying to hit on her from the get go calling out how she looked in a dress and Zig came to her defense. I feel that’s what started this entire thing. Manny was never challenged (Chris basically said so in so many words) and he was going to bully and break Zig. This freshman who is a newbie on the team. Zig being a sweetheart and MC always having his back worked in sync and Zig never gave up. He found his place on the team and had a girlfriend that didn’t put up with his bullshit. He (Manny) made sure he put the MC down as well and made sure she knew her opinion wasn’t needed. I’ve always hated how the Manny storyline went and wished weeks ago that PB would let it go, and I have a feeling it’s going to carry into Book 2 with Zig helping him come out and all of that. Zig’s storyline could have been about him fitting in and learning how to adjust to college life, that was so much better and healthier. And it fits with what Zig has been dealing with since he arrived at Hartfeld in TF Book 3. He could become friends (or more) with Aaron and that be it. How are his grades? How is he keeping up with his roommates? As boring as that is, it’s much better than let’s reform Manny. We are doing a let’s reform a bully storyline with Becca….and maybe Sebastian idek.
Now you have this aggressive toxic male drunk and in her room, that sends off alarm bells. I’m sure Zig was trying to help Manny as well as get him out of the MC’s room. I mean you have this stranger who hates you and is much bigger than you in your room and won’t leave is scary for anyone. Zig is in the corner of the room as Manny paces, and then punches her possession. Yeah it’s a pillow, but he had no right to punch it. imagine the MC in that situation. Manny takes advantage of Zig and kisses him. After he is caught he gaslights the fuck out of Zig. Then in the same breath try to make it seem like MC and Zig’s relationship would have come falling down if she hadn’t ruined it, and makes sure she knows that he considers her Nosy. While it is true she is Nosy af, in this context it is meant to rattle her. And I’m sure it does rattle her, seeing what she saw and then being pseudo-blamed for the situation.
BTW If you don’t romance Zig, Manny mentions that he did the same thing with Chelsea and she was with him for a year, meaning he felt like Zig would just bow down to him.
I never thought of Manny as being closeted, but I looked at that situation as a man who felt like he is owned the world because he said so. It was flipped to sexuality, but I’d be glad if PB dropped the character all together and had Zig take up tap dancing or something or got into the environment. Anything to keep him away from Manny.
I’m not saying PB did any of this on purpose. Maybe they did maybe they didn’t, but I feel like they tried to give Zig a foil and it backfired badly. It worked with Sebastian/Chris and I guess MC/Becca but this one is much worse ya feel. As the player I feel so protective of Zig and my MC and this hurts me so much. I’ll get over it, but I’m just so attached.
tl;dr: Manny is an abusive asshole to everyone and PB should drop his character all together. This finale was terrible and nothing makes me want to go to book 2 outside of seeing how Zig is doing. Manny has been shit since his first appearance and the whole closeted aggressor storyline is old and played out.
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I don't understand why it's such a bad thing to worry about the state of Zayns career right now. He's more known now for following Gigi around and being a model rather than a critically acclaimed singer. Ha**ys single is going to to debut at number 1 meanwhile Zayns second album debut isn't even in the top 50s. He's not even doing anything. He released a damn song but would rather dye his hair and get tattoos than do promo that could make this song the hit could be. Why shouldn't I be worried?
It's like you saw my post, read it, read it again, and looked over literally every single goddamn point. Why shouldn't you worry? Maybe because it's not your goddamn career to worry about? Did you every think about that? Zayn is not you, he is not your other fave, he is not his ex bandmates, he is not some other celebrity, he is Zayn Javadd Malik and he doesn't need to be anyone else. If Zayn seemed unhappy and upset about his career then maybe I'd be a little concerned too but he has said more than once that he is happy. He is in a good place. HE. IS. FINE. Zayn and his team know what they're doing with an artist like Zayn. They don't manage him like other artists because he's not other artists. He's ZAYN. God why can't he be happy? So what SGT was #66? He has TWO whole hits under his belt and is becoming more respected in the music industry as an artist AND getting respected as a huge influence in the fashion world and in both of those industries more people who actually matter fall more and more in love with him every day. Just because you google his name and stop at the first tabloid doesn't mean that Zayns career revolves around Gigi. If that's how you wanna feel then feel that way but do not strip him of all he has achieved without her. Going places and doing things with his Gf doesn't mean he's forgotten about his career.he was literally in the studio until 5 am just the other week and still woke up and got to his interview early because he enjoys himself and where he is at right now. Let him enjoy himself and just fucking be there to support him if you really like him. God idek how Gigi got brought into this. I swear y'all are the only ones who start making shit about her then the media follows suit and you fucking wonder why. And also, newsflash!™ Zayn can do and enjoy other things besides music. Him doing fashion and other things while he's not releasing music is not only very common but also hella smart! It's not like he's being forced to do this. He's said multiple times that he loves and wants to get involved in fashion. He's said time and time again that music is his passion and that he fell back in love with it why the fuck won't you guys just fucking pay a single second of attention to the things he says and shows? And also this is his fucking life and he doesn't live it to please you or me or anyone else besides himself and the entitlement entrenched in this fandom about Zayns career and his personal life is fucking gross and disgusting. He can do what he wants. We have this motherfucking conversation every good goddamn month when he does or even doesn't do literally anything. And fuck you for saying "he's not doing anything" he's recording a damn MUSIC video, He's working on his second album, he working on hi capsule collection, and an abundance of things we have no clue about. Just because he doesn't tweet it or Instagram or doesn't mean he's not working I swear y'all will never get this concept. God. You know if fans knew how to worry and still be supportive and not over dramatic and act like his career is over every single time something doesn't go the way they want it to, then this wouldn't be a damn issue. But y'all don't know how to do that. Most of y'all don't even care about anything else than seeing his face for you to jack off to or to make up scenarios that he's going to meet your other fave. Anyways, fuck off anon. And fuck off to anyone who actually does and thinks shit like this. We've been having this fuck ass conversation since March 25, 2016 now and you'd think y'all would learn (or listen to Zayns own words) by now that Zayn isn't going to do the vast "promo" you nut over.
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So, like… I want to say I’ve been disappointed, learning how homophobic George Orwell was. But I’m not, really? For two big reasons:
1. idek, from what I’ve read thus far, it kind of seems like he was an about average level of homophobic for his time period. It’s more disappointing that, around the time he was writing “1984,” he was also ratting out people he suspected of being USSR-sympathizers to the British government, because he got caught up in post-WW2 anti-Communist fervor…… while writing a novel that kind of condemns similar behaviors.
The big difference between these situations is that I never had any expectation that he, a straight dude in the early-to-mid-20th century, would be anything but some kind of homophobic, but he consistently condemns both hypocrisy and other people for ratting others out to the government like he did, so it’s like, “Okay, Eric, maybe you should’ve started a little closer to home about those issues, huh”;
and 2. Regardless of what Orwell (thought he) intended, “1984” is one of the gayest allegedly not-gay books that I’ve ever read? Like???
I mean, Winston Smith has more romantic-seeming feelings about O’Brien than he does for Julia, and even considering shit like, “She had become a physical necessity,” their entire relationship reads a lot like both of them forcing it out of desire for any kind of real and honest connection with another human person, and feeling like they have to go to the romance and sex place because of how much the Party regulates sexuality and forbids romance (since it might distract you from properly loving Oceania and Big Brother).
(I’m not saying that, “She had become a physical necessity” was more romantic as an M/F sentiment when applied to Britta and Subway I on Community, but it was. Like, with Winston and Julia, idk. It strikes me as less romantic and way more depressing, in light of everything else about how Orwell wrote them.)
I guess what I’m saying is that Winston and Julia both read like they’re dealing with compulsory heterosexuality on top of everything else going on for them, and they fail to realize it because the Party has restructured people’s ability to think about relationships so that they’ve made gay and lesbian love literally unthinkable (which is not an explicit purpose of shit like Newspeak, but seems to be implied/included in the overall purpose of Newspeak as Syme spells it out for Winston in Part 1).
Then, my feelings are still percolating about O’Brien and how he could or could not fit into this as more than, “the guy who Winston is attracted to, even though he is literally unable to fathom this.”
But on the other hand, we have the case of Katherine (Winston’s ex-wife who never appears in person but we’re told about her a bit in there). In addition to how all of Winston’s feelings about their relationship don’t seem like the feelings of a man who is actually attracted to women (like, I get that Orwell just wanted to characterize that relationship as Not Working, but what he wrote about it actually makes Winston seem Not Even Remotely Straight), Katherine comes off like such a case study in repression and compulsory heterosexuality that one of the margin notes I took about her while rereading the book was, “Winston……… she’s a lesbian.”
So, with all of that in mind, I’m not surprised or disappointed that George Orwell was actually pretty homophobic? But I’m a little puzzled by how he had such a chip on his shoulder about self-awareness — e.g., the recurring theme in his later work of dancing around the point, “Hey, fellow socialists! Let’s watch ourselves so that we don’t end up going down the same path as Stalin!” — while apparently displaying none of it himself?
Granted, I’m puzzled because I thought like maybe he would actually have self-awareness, since it was such a big deal to him. I thought so despite realizing that most people have similar patterns of behavior, myself included, and I guess I would probably do a lot better if I stopped hoping for literally anyone not to have at least one thing that we do the, “contradict the shit out of ourselves while not realizing it, oops” thing about — or maybe it I got better at actually living by the Elim Garak, “I always hope for the best. Experience, unfortunately, tells me to expect the worst” policy — so, it’s basically my own damn fault for being puzzled here
Anyway, the joke’s on George Orwell, because “1984” is gay af
#kassie rereads 1984#opinions for ts#mine: shitposting#i'm just saying: winston's feelings about julia are desperate and violent and don't actually seem like any kind of attraction#the closest they come to seeming like attraction…… is that he is confused by her and thinks she might be a member of the thought police#and he wants to figure out what her deal is because he initially thinks she might be stalking him for the thought police#and even accounting for how ingsoc & the party have fucked up all human sexuality…… uh#winston smith reads like a man who is desperately forcing himself to be attracted to a woman who isn't attracted to him either#and julia latches onto that because she hates the party & hates the control they have over her entire life#and because she isn't even old enough to remember life before they took over oceania-formerly-britain? she has even less ability to fathom#the idea that she might not be attracted to men at all & she jumps on the first thing that crosses her path#because this feels like it's better than getting assigned to marry someone for the sake of making babies for the party#(which we know that they do because it's what happened to winston and katherine & it apparently happens pretty regularly)#and i just???? this book is not straight eric arthur blair. *pins a 'you tried' star to his forehead*#1984 reread tag#1984#winston that's gay
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