#dissociation ment

[ndcultureis]

dissociative culture is never having to take reference/pose photos because you always see yourself in 3rd person

.

#neurodivergent culture #actually neurodivergent #mod emri #dissociation ment

[heymob]

"I don't really hate the way I look, it's just that this body is technically mine but it doesn't look or sound like me. Even if I give it my name, it will never really be me. I'm not insane but I think I've been pretending to be somebody else for so long that I don't know how to be me anymore. I feel like I'm intruding in someone else's life."

Probably should've been a pretty big hint actually.

#laika's logs #dissociation ment #dysphoria ment #system posting #imagine if the readmore function worked for me

[bitchesandbrosandnonbinaryhoes]

fun new game: am i dissociating or do i just need new glasses

#dissociation ment #idk my vision is wonky and dreamlike

[mimikyu-chr]

I’m a disabled person and I wish people would stop seeing some of the things my partner does for me as abusive or bad, because if he doesn’t do them I would probably harm myself or put myself in bad situations. He has to do these things for me because of my disabilities, so it’s not as black and white as ‘abuse’ and ‘not abuse’.

He has to check my outfits for me. It’s not because he doesn’t want me dressing a certain way or wearing certain things, it’s so I don’t wear clothes that’ll end up putting me in danger because of the weather. I have no ability to judge temperature until I’m out and doing what I’m doing, so I rely on him, especially to make sure I don’t overheat in the summer because that’d mean I’d faint. In cold weather he finds me tights, hoodies or jackets that match the style of outfit I’ve decided to wear but will keep me at a good temperature, and in the heat he helps me with knowing what layers to not wear, or suggests things like same-colour shorts instead of jeans or trousers, for example.

He has to help me with money a lot, and I don’t get access to money I need to save. This is because I have very poor impulse control and is actually something I suggested, which is mostly to make sure that when things have to be saved for over a few months that I don’t accidentally spend it. I can’t keep in my head that ‘X amount of money needs to be saved for Y date’, I see ‘I have X amount of money, and the thing I want costs Y amount, so I can buy the thing’. He also keeps food and travel money on him when we go out, as he can categorise what his money is for in his brain, and I can’t.

He usually has a lot of control over what and when I eat, because I can’t read my body cues very well. He knows when I’d typically eat at university because then I eat when other people do, and he makes sure I have food on that schedule. He gives me choices, but my food is what he makes for me as I can’t usually use knives and cook because of my disabilities. I tic, and have poor impulse control, so cooking can be dangerous for me.

He also has to keep my medications for me, and give me what I need when I need it. I often forget to take my medication on my own, and I also have accidentally taken double doses a few times. I also am at risk of harming myself because of my mental illness, so someone else minding my meds gets rid of that.

Anyway, these are just the things my partner does for me. A lot of disabled people need a carer, partner or family member to do things for them that if done out of malice would be seen as abuse, but they’re done to look after us. You shouldn’t make assumptions about these things, if you’re unsure then ask if the person is in a safe situation, but don’t push the idea that they’re being abused onto them.

#fizzy.chr #disabled #physically disabled #disability #cpunk #cripplepunk #dissociative system #DID #<a couple of these are infact DID related for me #disabled people #physical disability #abuse mention #abuse ment tw

[moveddazeddreams]

It's missing something that you can't remember hours today lads

#Getting real for a moment tho (vent ahead) #Not being able to remember things that the system still misses is scary #Like. you miss things because they ment stuff to you #You forgot something that ment something to you #And that's honestly what scares me the most about being part of a system #I think that this can get a bit more attention aswell #Rather than just the “I miss my own body”/“I miss source”/“I need to share my body”/“I dissociate a lot” things. #Which also ofc are part of it and a struggle #But the memory issues?? That's what scares me the most #Anyways #Ignore the tags I was just trying to be silly #Jack harkness posts #Dazeddreams posts #did system #Osdd system #did osdd #plural system #traumagenic system #plural blog

[luxieloo16]

for day 4, here's a tribute to isabella (she/they)! she's a protector and takes care of ... situations :sparkles:. i love them a lot they are very sweet and WILL hang out with you!

#- finn! #did art #dissociative system #osddid #sysblr #did #did alter #actually did #did osdd #osdd system #osdd #did community #system art #plural system #traumagenic system #luxe art tag #isabella ment #decalter

[screaming-heart]

OOH OOH OOH ALSO

(tw for mentions of fakeclaiming)

its interesting how fakeclaimers will be like "ohohoh edgy evil / demon / whatever alter hahaha so fake lmao" as if having alters who portray themselves as scary or evil wouldn't be a good thing for some people?

a lot of my trauma stems from me being too scared to stand up for myself + having very weird emotions, so of COURSE a lot of alters made to protect me from that would be scary ass fuckers who don't feel things. that literally makes logical fucking sense.

also, no, having an alter who appears to be shitty as hell or says they're "evil" isn't the evil alter stereotype. 1, alters have their own identities, and can be shitty like any other person, and 2, many alters who say they are evil do it for trauma reasons like what i JUST MENTIONED! me having a demon alter literally named Devil who happens to not feel much strong emotion and acts like an asshole to both the rest of the system and other people isn't grounds for fakeclaiming because this fucker stems from WELL KNOWN types of trauma

- blurry

#actually did #did system #did #dissociative identity disorder #system stuff #endos + supporters dni #polyfrag system #osdd #tw fakeclaiming mention #tw fakeclaiming ment #polyfragmented #im adding a lot of tags bc idk how to use tumblr so sorry if this is like a breach of tumblr etiquette or something -\._./-

[bl-ckberry]

Reminder that your trauma is valid even if it wasn’t abuse.

Your trauma is valid even if it wasn’t abuse.

Your trauma is valid even if it wasn’t familial.

Your trauma is valid even if it doesn’t get talked about often.

Your trauma is valid even if it doesn’t get talked about at all.

Your trauma is valid even if you can’t remember it.

Your trauma is valid even if it wasn’t a distinct, isolated incident. 

Your trauma is valid even if it was one distinct, isolated incident. 

Your trauma is valid even if it doesn’t affect you as much as it used to.

Your trauma is valid even if you were told you’re overreacting, or being too sensitive, or making things up, or being attention seeking.

Your trauma is valid even if you think someone else “had it worse”. 

Your trauma is valid even if you think you “should have been able to handle it”. 

You are still traumatized “enough”. You, your trauma, and your experiences are still valid. Even if you’ve been told you aren’t, even if you can’t help but tell yourself you aren’t.

#abuse #abuse tw #abuse ment #abuse mention #trauma #trauma tw #trauma mention #validation #trauma validation #osdd #did #ptsd #bpd #actually traumatized #actually dissociative #actually osdd #actually ptsd #you become whoever would have saved you the one time no one did

[infernal-collective]

Daily update :

Tw: Emeto

Our newly formed (HH) Adam fictive *having just formed and fronting as the body gets sick*:

T-This is a joke right? I'm dreaming right....what the actual fuck ?!

(Poor dude)

-💖

#system #actually dissociative #plurality #traumagenic system #system update #system account #plural #dissociation #did osdd #plural system #tw emetophobia #tw emeto ment #hazbin hotel adam #new alter #we are sick #poor guy #adam fictive #hazbin hotel fictive #istfg #im in so much pain #end me #system sillies

[our-inspire-verse]

I just. Think the sadness is stored in the tears. So when fluids flow it comes out.

#im so . far gone i cant fucking think lol #the fog. is here #is this unmasking *butterfly meme* no. probably not probably just a dissociative breakdown... ohh #.an.n. floating arounf really feeling the waves on this one. sometimes she hits wrong and i think ohhhh #man. #system babbles #dissociation #menty b #ment #albreak down struggling lol #IGNORE me im normal and fine i just wanna ramble on in an empty way to an audience of nothin #i just wanna talk #and sleep #do not rb #its all fine

[murdaughter]

@goodjobsport said: "look at us, back where we started."

a sad, crooked smile crosses emily's lips. "we don't have to go in if you don't want to." the pizzeria looms over them, holding a different meaning to her now than she ever could have imagined. it had once been an oasis, then a place of decrepit memories, of fear and family and wistfulness and guilt. but now this is the place that she died. the place where her father killed her. she's alive, sure, but she hadn't been, for a few moments. that counts, she thinks. horribly, it makes her feel better. makes her one of his victims in a way that feels more real. like dying is a rite of passage, like she owes it to the kids, the other victims. and she does. when emily looks inside herself, she knows she does. "i just don't want to bring abby there if..." a deep breath shudders out of her. "if the kids are gone. and if--" she chokes back a wounded sound. when she speaks again, her voice is impossibly small. "if he's there."

it's a fear she rarely acknowledges. with the kids, it's a little easier. the thought of losing them had been painful, but with the pizzeria so completely out of reach, she'd had no hope of seeing them. emily has elected to believe they've been able to move on, to rest. she hopes so dearly that that's true, that they haven't had to be without her, that they aren't in pain. but if her father is there... her only hope is that he went with the suit. that his unfinished business is died to that damned thing and not the place itself.

the police–– the real police–– had been involved while she was comatose. mike had been the one to explain most of it to her; how with the revelations she'd provided about afton's crimes, a more thorough investigation had been carried out. the place was mostly cleared out, but the building still stood and technically belonged to her now. it's been months since the trial, all of which is a blur. it almost feels like everything must have happened to someone else–– not her, not emily, but vanessa. like someone she was in a past life.

standing here, though, it's all too real. back where we started. he isn't kidding.

#for reference! vanessa starts going by emily Officially once she's awake from the coma #she's been kind of crafting the identity around emily for a long time? like it's just her #but it started when she was like in her teens/tweens as like a way to be like this is who i am without my father #if that makes sense? but she will still be okay with mike and abby calling her vanessa #tho they will be among a privileged few #oh god and also rebgurb vanessa is not a real cop in my canon #i just... do not think it scans lmao! #im also just gonna uh. skate over her criminal involvement regbuire. based on some googling im gonna go ahead and say she like? was? let of #which realistically would i think never ever happen bc of the severity of the crimes? but idk idk #this is also tumblr rp so we're just gonna run with it #also im sorry for all this shit in the tags i just feel like its helpful context! #child abuse / #abuse / #dissociation / #just to cover my bases #child death mention / #child death ment / #god sorry for this NOVEL rip #ptsd / #goodjobsport

[alienmustdie]

Eu desisti de uma vez por todas. Desisti de tentar melhorar e ficar bem, eu ja entendi que isso nunca vai acontecer comigo, as coisas podem até melhorar por um tempo, mas depois tudo volta pior do que estava antes. Eu não aguento mais passar por tudo isso calado, sem poder desabafar com alguém, porque tudo isso é ridículo e vergonhoso, passar por tudo isso só quer dizer que eu sou um lixo fraco sem forças para absolutamente nada. A terra não me quer mais aqui, o universo deve estar conspirando contra mim porque ele deve me odiar também, igual todos ao meu redor, todos que me jogam e me largam como se eu fosse um nada, e eu sei que eu sou exatamente isso, um nada inútil que não merece nada de bom na vida. 

O mundo não me quer mais, ele também esta me rejeitando, e eu vou começar a rejeitar ele também, e eu espero conseguir ir até o fim com o meu plano suicida. Porque eu já não me importo mais com nada mesmo, não ligo se vou sangrar até morrer, ou se vou me espatifar no chão após me jogar de um lugar alto. A unica coisa que eu ainda me importo é com a dor, a dor que eu sinto todos os dias quando acordo e quando vou dormir, aquela dor que sempre vai mas logo após volta pior do que antes, a dor que ja me matou faz tempo, e agora a unica coisa que eu sou é um corpo vazio vagando. Eu já morri por dentro faz muito tempo, a unica coisa que falta fazer é eu matar esse corpo vazio, com certeza não vai fazer diferença nenhuma para ninguém, eu vou ser só mais um no meio de muitos outros que cometeram suicídio para conseguir acabar com aquela dor inacabável e agoniante.

Perdi completamente todas as minhas esperanças que restavam, eu sei que nunca fiz diferença nenhuma aqui, ninguém nunca se importou e agora eu também deixei me importar. Espero que a morte me consuma e me leve daqui o mais rápido possível.

[thedragonflycluster]

I think all the time about a system I met while at the psych ward who later introduced themselves by saying "I suffer from something called Dissociative Identity Disorder".

The word "suffer" stuck with me . Not because he chose to word it that way, but because I know with how it was said, he was only told to see it that way by doctors. I can imagine multiple professionals told him he "suffers" from DID and didn't go any further than that.

And by no means is there no suffering in DID, that's a given. It's a trauma based disorder and a severe one at that. But I can say that when I viewed our disorder as only suffering it made things really, really difficult. That mindset of "I'll always be suffering because of a disorder that has very few effective treatment options and could have (in some cases) been prevented".

And guess what, when I saw it only as suffering it hurt the others in our system too! They all followed that mindset because we knew nothing else. We felt like all we could be was miserable and broken because this narrative is pushed so strongly onto systems, by the community and professionals alike. And god forbid you're happy or accepting of yourselves, because people will think you're even worse off for wanting to have harmony! How could you be so backwards!

Because who would want to be happy for a disorder that only causes suffering? Why would you want to change that narrative to find self(ves) acceptance and healthy functioning? Or internal camaraderie?

But that's right. They don't want us to have that because the idea of someone who's plural and happy means that it's normal, and should be normalized, and not from something horrible and traumatic, something that people will pity you for and look down on you for.

Self love is rebellion for us systems. They don't want to see us thrive because they don't want to see us at all. Don't forget that.

#o.c #text post #plurality #pluralgang #mental health #mental illness #system medicalism #sanism ment #pro endo #endo safe #endo friendly #dissociative identity disorder

[bardofhype]

I did it again

okay so. i had a few lore thoughts about Piccolino and i knew i had to write them down in an ordered manner somewhere. and my mind went "what if you made a fic about it" and i went "okay sure what if I made a fic about it" and Good Lord Did I Make A Fic About It in which the staff of Peppino's Pizza is a positively weird found family and a chili pepper goes through Something

TW: unethical experimentation, injection mentions, light existential talk and a first-person POV of a semi-heavy dissociation episode

#the bard writes #bard's ocs #pizza tower oc #piccolino #i am very scared to tag this as pizza tower. but that will not stop me from doing so anyways #pizza tower #peppino spaghetti #gustavo #fake peppino #tw: unethical experimentation #tw: injections #tw: injection ment #tw: existentialism #tw: dissociating #tagging the tws just in case

[luxieloo16]

day 9 goes out to sunny (he/she)! he handles our :sparkles: depression symptoms. she's pretty cool. he likes cats and eels and omori and stardew valley and sleeping. she's posted on here before i love her singular art posted being her demanding love for mewo and eelington (the declared name of the eel plush she will someday have). this is his discord icon

that's all. see you all tomorrow. get me out of front.

#- marsh #did art #dissociative system #osddid #sysblr #did #did alter #actually did #did osdd #osdd system #osdd #did community #system art #plural system #traumagenic system #fictive #introject #sunny ment #luxe art tag #decalter

[publicabsent]

@lifesver: i can't lose you, too. / accepting.

the injury probably isn't life-threatening. even if it ought to be, she's never been lucky enough for it to end so easily. frail frame is battered & bruised -- this cannibal family would rather kill her for sport than sustenance, apparently. (bet yer bones're all delicate -- make purdy decorations fer the house, huh?) despite knowing she's not in immediate danger, despite leland being right there, promising they'll get out, she's slumped against a wall, thin hands trying to cover the slash in her left side. her gaze is blank, almost dull. past & present are swirling together, the slaughter house & the whitney house blending into one mansion of death. how long have they been here? days? months? hours? she's trying to breathe, but all she can smell is dirt & sweat & blood.

the amount of spirits in this house is overwhelming. the screams, the shouting of run, run, run! blend in with the sounds of the living & the doomed, creating a loud drone that keeps her from focusing. "s-s'too ... t-t-too -- too lou - loud -- so many, they ... they'v-ve k-k-killed s-so -- so m-many --" she's crying now, only aware when the tears glide over open scratches. "s - scr-reaming, all - all th-the time --" she knows she isn't making sense. but the time for that is gone. she's only barely there, curled into herself & shaking.

try as she will to escape it, her mind is taking her back to the whitney house. the nails scraping, trailing the same places that man's knife had threatened to reopen, the ghostly grip digging into her scalp even from its place in the past. she's still bleeding. "i d -- i don' kn-n-ow -- wh ... where a-are we ... ?"

#lifesver #✽ ➝ answered. ❜ #✽ ➝ verse 001. ❜ #✽ ➝ au. ❜ #blood / #blood ment / #ask to tag / #yall ever dissociate so hard u regress into a previous traumatic experience