#also im sorry for all this shit in the tags i just feel like its helpful context!

[sugarcoatednightshade]

thinking about how Humans Are Space Orcs stories always talk about how indestructible humans are, our endurance, our ability to withstand common poisons, etc. and thats all well and good, its really fun to read, but it gets repetitive after a while because we aren't all like that.

And that got me thinking about why this trope is so common in the first place, and the conclusion I came to is actually kind of obvious if you think about it. Not everyone is allowed to go into space. This is true now, with the number of physical restrictions placed on astronauts (including height limits), but I imagine it's just as strict in some imaginary future where humans are first coming into contact with alien species. Because in that case there will definitely be military personnel alongside any possible diplomatic parties.

And I imagine that all interactions aliens have ever had up until this point have been with trained personnel. Even basic military troops conform to this standard, to some degree. So aliens meet us and they're shocked and horrified to discover that we have no obvious weaknesses, we're all either crazy smart or crazy strong (still always a little crazy, academia and war will do that to you), and not only that but we like, literally all the same height so there's no way to tell any of us apart.

And Humans Are Death Worlders stories spread throughout the galaxy. Years or decades or centuries of interspecies suspicion and hostilities preventing any alien from setting foot/claw/limb/appendage/etc. on Earth until slowly more beings are allowed to come through. And not just diplomats who keep to government buildings, but tourists. Exchange students. Temporary visitors granted permission to go wherever they please, so they go out in search of 'real terran culture' and what do they find?

Humans with innate heart defects that prevent them from drinking caffeine. Humans with chronic pain and chronic fatigue who lack the boundless endurance humans are supposedly famous for. Humans too tall or too short or too fat to be allowed into space. Humans who are so scared of the world they need to take pills just to function. Humans with IBS who can't stand spicy foods, capsaicin really is poison to them. Lactose intolerance and celiac disease, my god all the autoimmune disorders out there, humans who struggle to function because their own bodies fight them. Humans who bruise easily and take too long to heal. Humans who sustained one too many concussions and now struggle to talk and read and write. Humans who've had strokes. Humans who were born unable to talk or hear or speak, and humans who through some accident lost that ability later.

Aliens visit Earth, and do you know what they find? Humanity, in all its wholeness.

#humans are space orcs #humans in space #earth is a deathworld #earth is space australia #tagging this so that ppl can find it even though the space shit i write about always feels like its in direct opposition to all the pop tag #also my biggest pet peeve in all of writing - all writing. everywhere. not just in fanfic but books and tv and movies too - is when people #write off an injury by saying something like 'oh nothing bad just a couple of scratches some bruising and a minor concussion' like girl WHA #MiNOr ConCuSSioN is such an oxymoron and I hate it so fucking much. like i dont care how minor it was thats still brain damage. #especially when the same character does this more than once. like im sorry ms. but uh. you can no longer read. or talk eloquently. sorry #evidence: my brother has had two 'minor' concussions and now cannot read write or speak without tremendous effort. And like its totally #ruined my ability to watch action shows/movies because now i just sit there and count how many concussions there characters are getting #after a certain point it becomes totally impossible to believe that these guys are able to function. (still fun to watch tho im not a hater

[turtletoria]

i was having some wordgirl reboot thoughts and then embarked on a 9+ hour straight journey i can never take back (my hands and back hurt so much) (i have never drawn so much in such a short period of time) 

also im sorry the quality is so bad; i just hope theyre clear enough to see!

#turtlearts #wordgirl #wg #character design #character lineup #im not tagging all of them im sorry #it was so fuckin hard drawing them all and making sure they look to scale...... even now they look a little off #i want to color these but im not sure how long it will take because holy shit thats a lot!!! #chucks design is my favorite. hes supposed to have a picnic blanket patterned handkerchief thingy bc sandwich ahha #lady redundie is super techno now becuase i wanted her to look more like a copy machine. not sure if that came across right bc she just - #looks like a mettaton clone ToT sorry #also im so sorry but i gave everybody pockets because my kids... need snakcs. what if they want. to hold hting. item #also the tallest is miss power full stop. i wanted her to be the most physically intimidating #also damn shes hot. sorry #anyways if u read the tags this far feel free to suggest ur favorite wordgirl guy and i might add to this! its very fun #also im not sure if i did a good job but the kids are like. 14-15 here bc if wordgirl ever got rebooted itd be targeted for a somewhat- #older audience. bc all the wordgirl enjoyers are all in their teens and early 20s now LMAO #they look so baby here tho so im not sure i did a good job at that T_T #also i love rhyme and reason so much. #let me know what u think i care so much O_O #blease #now if youll excuse me im gonna go and explosion gif and fart with reverb sfx

[cautionwetfloor-png]

umm who is this guy

#authors notes in tags #art #invincible #invincible show #invincible fanart #mark grayson #my art #stormwave arts #who is this fucking guy... #also sorry ... me and my shitty backgrounds #i didnt feel like drawing SHIT so i just smacked pngs around #idk where the fuck he is but rest assured he is Somewhere #anyways #i was practicing using this pen and i REALLY like it ... its so fun #also yeah sorry but my hcs will be in all of my invincible art .. trans scars and pointy ears FOREVER #ALSO FUCKING LAST TIME I POSTED MARK I TWEAKED HIS SKIN TONE BUT WHEN I LOOKED ON MY PHONE IT WAS SO OFF IM SO SORRY THAT WAS NOT ON PURPOS #I TRIPLE CHECKED TO MAKE SURE THE TONE WAS RIGHT THIS TIME #guys dont EVER hype me up like that again #thats unrelated to this post but whateva i thought id put it somewhere #kisses kisses im done blabbing now

[lecliss]

I'll never be able to take the theory that Vincent is Sephiroth's real father seriously cuz I cannot stress enough how important I think it is to the plot that Vincent wanted to fuck Lucrecia and did not get to.

#once again i jest but now i have to actually talk about it #like. okay we have no proof of any actual timeline for the dirge flashbacks other than. it was at least 30 years ago #so who knows how long they were at the manor. could have been weeks before The Incident. or months. or maybe a full year! who knows #but to me a timeline of like. they fucked and like a week later vincent found The Evidence and lucercia had her little breakdown #AND THEN EXTREMELY QUICKLY SHE AGREED TO THE EXPERIMENT AND IT COULD GO ONE OF TWO WAYS #1. she knew she was pregnant and thats why she agreed to the experiment cuz there was already a usable subject #and therefore she must have fucked hojo like a week after she fucked vincent AND THATS STUPID FAST FOR THESE EVENTS #or 2. she didnt know. agreed to the experiment. fucked hojo. and therefore thought seph was hojo's and NOT vincent's #AND BY THE WAY. i dont even actually believe hojo fucked either!!! cuz theyre both scientists so why wouldnt they think IVF was the best way #okay. well.... hojo is canonically a fucked up little freak. so. he might have taken the opportunity to... get in there. #also when did ivf even start being a thing? cuz that may play a factor into this if nomura even considered that #well either way lets just unfortunately assume hojo got in there #ITS STILL AN ODDLY FAST TIMELINE #also. fuck man doesnt lucrecia have a later line in dirge where she actually says shes in love with hojo? or something along those lines #IMPLYING ITS BEEN AWHILE SINCE SHE HAD THE FALLING OUT WITH VINCENT. YOU WOULDNT FUCK THE GUY AFTER ALL THAT SHIT #AND WHILE CLAIMING TO LOVE/CURRENTLY FALLING IN LOVE WITH HOJO!!!! LIKE CMON MAN!!!! SHE SUCKS BUT SHES NOT THAT KIND OF A MESS #i dont think vincent would fuck her until they sorted out their issues anyway and that CLEARLY didnt happen. #its VITAL that that did not happen!!!! #its just. if vincent and lucrecia fucked. everything would have had to happen EXTREMELY fast within like a 2 week timespan #and im just talking about up to when vincent learns shes partaking in the experiment. it was probably another week or two until vincent died #SO. logically it must have been like #fall in love->learn about the gimoire incident->refuse to speak to vincent->get obsessed with hojo->fall in love(?) #and then thats where i think its ambiguous on did the experiment become an idea before or after seph started to exist? #like chicken or the egg ya know. experiment idea or sephiroth zygote? #that feels fucked up to say. im so fucking sorry to seph to talk about this. yeah sorry i have to debate who fucked your mom bro #god imagine telling him that. like not even as a reveal thing cuz he knows who his father is. just like as a sick joke. your mom joke. #NO OH M Y GOD I HAVE A QUESTION NOW #in accordance to him having a photo of lucrecia in ever crisis. after he reads that jenova is an ancient (incorrect btw) #does he think that picture is still her? what about when he takes jenova's body from the lab???? #oh my god 30 tag limit. FUCK. i need like a rant blog for all this vincent talk now. my brain is going a mile a minute

[reel-fear]

Honestly, every single time the whole 'poppy playtime is a bendy rip-off' stuff ever shows up I find it all extremely unconvincing and silly.

For one thing, rip-off usually is meant to imply that it's a cheap lazy copy of a better more polished thing, and uh. Sorry but even from chapter 1? Poppy Playtime is a better game than Bendy, it has a simple but understandable story, the game manages to be thrilling, creepy, and very intense at times... I mean that Huggy chase in the vents ALONE puts it way above Batim for me.

I mean BATDR had the most slow stupid chase I've ever seen [and every other encounter with the ink demon is text telling u he's there and then a timer goes down and u get jumpscared] and batim's chases were either silly or just not nearly as theatric or terrifying as that.

When making the vent sequence I mean not only is it absolutely horrifying to realize how fast Huggy is in there but also it's so theatric and cool? The fact that you round a corner after thinking you escaped only to see a terrifying animation of that thing crawling toward you is awesome! I wish Bendy had stuff like that!

And all the stuff it shares with Bendy are generic things Bendy ripped from other horror games/media anyways. I'm not saying Poppy Playtime isn't inspired by Bendy I for sure think it is but Bendy is such a generic story that somehow fails to do tropes 100 other horror games have done any comparison only makes Poppy Playtime look better.

"It has employees being sacrificed for their company" That is not a concept Bendy invented, literally look at any of the sci-fi horror series Bendy is very inspired by. This is literally a twist in the original Alien.

"It has a scary woman forcing you to do tasks for her" Once again, not a concept Bendy invented, a scary mysterious person forcing you to do fetch-quests is a concept found in tons of horror media. And at least Poppy Playtime gave you a chase with her and let you defeat her, look at poor malice. She's barely on screen for more than 10 minutes before she gets stabbed.

"It has a cult worshipping the monster" This is something tons of horror games and media have done too. I mean In The Tall Grass has a guy who worships a giant magical rock in the middle of a grass maze, Bioshock [which Bendy has only been taking more and more direct inspiration from while failing to grab any of the compelling parts] also had a lot of themes of religion and cult-ish behavior, almost every horror media franchise has at one point done a cult thing.

Bendy couldn't even come up with a reason Sammy worships the ink demon, the best motivation we've ever gotten is just that 'he's crazzyyyy the ink made him insaneeee'. Who is the cheap rip-off here?

At least Poppy Playtime gave their cultist a motive for worshipping the monster + a proper boss fight that feels intense and looks awesome! Bendy didn't even let you kill Malice [she got stabbed in front of you and then just collapsed on the floor how thrilling] meanwhile you get to kill three of the villains in Poppy Playtime and the gameplay and action in those scenes have only gotten better as the game went on.

I mean Sammy walks into a room and goes "AAA SCARY I'M BEING MURDERED" then later shows up and for NO REASON sees a normal human man and assumes it's the ink demon before once again someone else kills him for you. In Poppy Playtime you defeat Catnap as he floods the world with this horrible nightmare-inducing gas that intensifies the color palette and his design. Fight off versions of him that are illusions that you need your flare gun for, then watch in a wonderful animation as he mistakes the monster for his savior before getting killed by it, in a brutal way I might add, which game are we accusing of being cheap, lazy garbage again?

I just find this argument to be people who Really Really need to find a reason to hate Poppy Playtime which I think is silly. The devs being weird, shady people is already enough reason to dislike the game, you don't need to invent reasons why secretly every part of the game is malicious or bad. But esp when I see Bendy fans saying they don't support Poppy Playtime or dislike it bc of its devs or even saying its cringe ummmm.

I have bad news about the fact Bendy's devs are worse and it took not one, but TWO over an hour long videos to cover it all. Plus the Bendy games are just the worse games in every aspect, if I could sell my batim copy for a copy of Poppy Playtime I wouldn't hesitate at all.

Saying this as a bendy fan, we have no right to be super judgy towards Poppy Playtime. If Poppy Playtime is embarrassing cringe, Bendy is too and is way more embarrassing of an interest. We shouldn't spread misinformation just because we all want to hate Poppy Playtime, you can dislike Poppy Playtime without making up a bunch of nonsense to justify it.

Honestly seeing people just blatantly be unfairly mean to Poppy Playtime only makes its critics look worse and makes it hard to take any backlash to the games seriously. Because surprise surprise if you spread misinformation to make a point people will quickly stop listening to Anything you have to say bc they won't trust you're telling the truth anymore.

#feel free to reblog but Im not gonna tag this its way too rambley at least for my taste to go in the main tags #ramblez #also man can I say I didnt want to make this post super long but theres so many other points I could make in poppys favor #the fact we got to see the hour of joy and it was terrifying we dont even know if joey actually killed anyone anymore #the gameplay itself is more diverse and fun then batim which is a walking simulator that pretends to have fighting n stealth mechanics #at least Poppy n Missys friendship gives u a reason to care for missys safety before shes put in danger #Missy can actually express unlike Boris who sits there looking cute with no proper expressions until he gets yoinked and ur supposed to car #bc he was uh adorable? And therefore you spend an entire chapter tryna get him and get an extremely bad boss fight in return- #also soundtrack wise I like poppys tracks more theyre unique and fun and you can tell which part of the game they come from #bendy has so many dramatic reveal stingers and tracks that are really hard to tell which part of the game they come from #bertrums boss fight has my favorite theme bc its so specifically crafted for him and unique and meanwhile Norman has one of the worst imo #a lot of Bendys soundtrack if I played it for you right now it would be hard to guess where its from bc it all kinda sounds the same #the reveal music for the machine for bendy land for heavenly toys for alices domain all sound the same x_x #its just so frustrating but yeah my point is can we all stop making up new reasons to shit on poppy playtime its just kinda dumb #it feels less like actual criticism and at this point just feels like elaborate justification for cringe culture which I hate #okay thats it bye sorry this is 10 pages long-

[josephslittledeputy]

WIP... Oh shit, its actually Wednesday??

Tagged by @wrathfulrook @clicheantagonist @marivenah @cassietrn @the-silver-chronicles @socially-awkward-skeleton @direwombat and I thiiiiink that's it... sorry if you've tagged me & you're not on here, its been a hot minute since I've posted a wip wednesday & my memory is basically Swiss cheese

Tagging anyone who wants to self indulgently share a WIP! Feel free to tag me, I love to read new stuff :)

**Also terribly sorry in advance cause this turned out to be a bit longer than I thought it would be**

WIP 1: OG Verse - fun times with Celeste & Gabriel

He has to resist the urge to throttle her, lest he ruin the inside of his house filled with years of carefully handpicked items, ones he held a certain fondness for. "You ruined my life, Celeste. Or do you not recall?” "Your life?" She tilts her head in mock curiosity. "What life? The one where you were sent anywhere they told you to go, like some mongrel with a barely slackened leash?" “Excuse me?" “We can pretend otherwise. Keep up the illusion that your life was marvelous, picture perfect even. But we both know the truth, don't we?" She takes a step closer. “You were nothing but the High Council’s defanged pup. Cluelessly doing their bidding before I freed you. If anything, you should be thanking me." "Thanking you?" He clenches and unclenches his fist in an attempt to suppress his anger. "Hate me if you must, fight me even, but do it later. Right now we must get out of here. If they do not know where I am yet, they soon will. What do you think will happen once they realize one of their precious dhamphirs has been under their nose this whole time?"

Celeste truly is the nicest individual you'll ever meet :))

Including this little snippet from Gabriel's pov as well cause idk, I just really like it

Unbidden worry strikes him. He listens, waits, and when his ears pick up the sound of soft, even breathing he lets out a breath of his own. Celeste and the baby were still there, unharmed, perhaps even sleeping. It brings an odd sense of comfort, reminiscent of times long forgotten, times he didn’t want to remember. If he did, he’d have to remember what brought them to a halt in the first place and he had a job to do. Grief and old wounds had no place here, at least not at the moment. Kicking his boots off, he treks into the bathroom and gently closes the door behind him. It’s a simple design: Shower to his left, toilet to his right, and a sink with a mirror above it directly across from the door. Leaning against the sink, he ruffles his short, black hair that's shaved on the sides and traces his fingers over an old, faded scar. It runs down almost the whole length of his face, going over his left eye and stopping just shy of the corner of his mouth. Overlapping it is another, only this one goes across his face horizontally, over the bridge of his nose and from cheek to cheek. The only thing that remains of the old Gabriel are his blue eyes, once full of life and mischief, now faded and dull. Turning away from his visage, he heads toward the shower and turns it on, stripping down while he waits for the water to heat up. He doesn’t need a mirror to see the multitude of scars and tattoos that adorn his body. Aching for another drink—if only to dull his senses and lingering memories once more—he curbs the yearning and steps beneath the water.

WIP 2: They Watch From The Pews

Willa squirms, trying to dodge cold fingers that reach out to trace over the letters, caressing them with a sadistic fascination that makes her stomach curdle in disgust. Disgust quickly transforms into a desperation to get away once he finally reveals the knife kept hidden behind his back. “Usually I’d peel the sin off but… I think this will suit you much better, don't you?" Pressing the tip of his blade into her skin, he teasingly drags it across her skin. "Tell me, Deputy, how did you feel when you got the news of Samuel's death?" "Chipper." She spitefully answers with a sneer. John heaves a dramatic sigh and presses the blade down harder, prompting tiny beads of blood to bubble up as he traces over the letters of her tattoo. "You can make this easier for yourself, you know." "I've heard that before. Got me a bullet to the leg." "Because you ran. My men only acted accordingly." "Fuck you and your men, pussy." "My, what a mouth on you." He tuts and makes a deeper cut. Her teeth sink into the leather in her mouth, denying him the satisfaction of hearing her make a noise. Without pause, he moves onto the second letter, brows scrunched up in concentration as he goes over the lines again and again. It isn’t until he’s on the last letter that she finally breaks with a muffled groan. He stops, lifting his eyes from his work. “Comfortable?”

John & Willa are bonding so well. Truly, I think they're starting to get along!

#**wips subject to change** #nah i thought it was tuesday today like... huh #anyway guess what guys i actually have stuff for wip wednesday! granted its not that great but ehh we tryin & thats all that counts #i love when docs will put a red underline under my words like... hunni if that aint a word it is now!! #ohhhh gabriel may be taking celestes shit now but just wait for it... hes a man who suppresses his anger until it builds and blows <3 #i need gabriel like a dog needs a bone ya feel? (shh dont look at me...) #Cel & Gabriel's past history is interesting and a bit convoluted (yes; they fucked) #also i love writing willa bc im like 'how many times can i make her swear? yes!' she just doesnt care anymore #shes feral & angry & shes finally indulging in it #also willas overreacting it was a bullet GRAZE not a bullet WOUND** #meanwhile johns like 'hehe knife time while i interrogate you bestie! <3' #wanted to include some stuff from Sparrows fic too but ah well. maybe next time #ok tag spam done SORRY #oc: celeste night #oc: gabriel walker #oc: willa rook

[ballcrusher74]

The way you talk about Twitter makes it sound terrible is it really that bad?

um

At least . In my personal view of the app and with how long I've been on there, it's a little bad .

I'll just say a couple things : Everything moves by really quick on there . It's like being in front of a big audience and alone on stage . There's some really fucking nasty people on there that I've had to deal with, and I am honestly so deathly afraid of how big I've grown on there, but that also just might be because I'm riddled with a lot of personal issues myself that I am NOT talking about . I don't wanna leave the platform though since that's my main place and I do still somewhat enjoy it, but good fucking lord does it test my patience sometimes

Idk . I have a weird love-hate relationship with the site at this point . um

#btw the gross people get fucking bad. like really bad #bad to where people will make an ai chat bot of you and do gross things to it and then mention you in that tweet kind of bad #there's a lot than just that but. it's a little bad. i've just learned to block and move on but yknow you cant just forget shit easily #ah what a beautiful day on twitter! IMMEDIATELY BLASTED WITH A DOC ON MOOT BEING A WEIRDO #comedy just might be my coping mechanism for this all its a little funny to me but also not. oops . #i would never fucking say this shit on there but i do feel more comfortable here and i think this is fine to elaborate on a little. i think #twitter is literally “i love pancakes” “so you hate waffles” #sorry im rambling in my own tags again AAAAGGH

[yellowocaballero]

I just finished your New Wave fic. I’m convinced everything your write is gold. I loved your TMA fics, with the most heartbreaking demon AU imaginable and the hilarity of Fahrenheit 101. I loved your moon knight fics, starting with Steven talking to animals on the reg at work to the system growing closer with a focus on Jake, i- there’s- it’s sooo much packed into it. When I’m on burnout, of art or writing (maybe life in general at times) I revisit your work and am thrown back into a creative headspace.

You are my favorite writer, you cram so much meaning and thought into your work and it shows. The characters are dumbasses and say the most ridiculous shit and turn around the next chapter and say the most thought provoking thing, and I don’t get whiplash from it because these characters just work! They just do, and I… am very much off track!

Anyways I just got into Batman and reading your fic is fueling that flame! I can’t wait to see what you have in store next, and I shall now stalk your blog for writing tips! I hope you have a nice day broski 💙

Thank you!! This is so sweet thank you so much! This ask is so nice!

Trust me, if there's meaning then it's because I get obsessive over these fics and I massively overthink them. I honestly wish I was better at making simpler, more elegant stories. I feel like nothing I do is truly going to be good until I can find that simplicity.

"Dipshit who says stupid stuff and then turns around and spouts ridiculous philosophy" is just how I talk. But I habitually approach my life from a standpoint of finding humor in everything, if only to soften the blow. I was once told that it's really hard to tell when I'm joking, because everything I say is always half-joking and always half-serious. I feel like that's pretty evident from my narration too...

As for writing advice...um, I was just speaking about this with somebody. When you're plotting a story, the first thing I like to figure out is what I'm trying to say. Everything else should be built around that. The joy of writing is that I think we all have something we want to say, or something we want people to know, or that we have an aspect of ourselves and our lives that we want to express. Most of the time, trying to convey those things verbally just results in a frustrating approximation of your true feelings. I find that when I manage a successful story, the depth and scale of what I'm trying to impart is fully understood and felt. It's rewarding. I think if people aren't understood on some level, by somebody, they kind of die.

Thanks for the sweet ask!!

#dungeon meshi is the peak of storytelling and im not joking #my asks #my writing #(my writing tag is a good place to find my dumb essays!) #i dont consider myself a creative and i barely consider myself a writer #so i professionally have no fucking opinions on art or whatever #also im not sure you can call what i do art in like any meaningful way #but i know a lot of musicians and everything #and so much art is just a person trying to convey something that can't be conveyed through words alone #so much stuff is lost in translation between our brains and our mouths - its like translating english to a foreign language #the meaning can be conveyed but inherently it'll never capture the original meaning exactly in every way #i think art can help you achieve a more perfect translation more than anything else can #you just have to feel like that poor schmuck in j alfred prufrock all the time #'that's not what i meant at all; that is not it - not at all' #JASLKDF sorry for the pretentious tags and also pretentious essay #all i do is write fanfic i dont know shit about this tbh #i just think that idk. there's things in this world that only we know #things that only we can say or understand #and sometimes we have to say them ourselves in our own words #sometimes ppl focus too hard on making their writing sound pretty or correct or 'good' #and they dont focus as much on how pretty writing is a tool to say what youre trying to say more effectively #idk! im sorry for quoting ts eliot some things can't be forgiven etc

[batz]

neurologist says my optic nerves are fine/same as last few appointments but still tells me to start taking 12 diamox a day and tells me to get out before i can ask why . also diamox like. cannot fix an issue involving my veins. but idk im not doctor so whatever

im 100% not taking 12 pills a day tho thatd hurt me. past few appointments hes just been rlly wanting me to have more diamox even tho he keeps saying im in remission but he wont answer when i ask why i need the meds then

#frank.txt #diamox doesnt even fix venous stenosis . its a diuretic that fixes like. pressure and water distribution n stuff #my jugular vein is too small and the blood flow sounds are simply Too Loud. its not effecting anything long term #but its causing migraines and nausea which is why ive been sleeping 24/7 . like my life has been sleeping. smoke. make coffee. read news #also i have never heard of someone taking 12 diamox a day. especially when im IN REMISSION #unfortunately its fatphobia. my neurologist is less concerned with my brain now and more concerned with making me smaller #which diamox already did and it was hell. #anyway im not going on 12 pills a day . that will just make me more sick. sticking with 4 and just seeing if it helps w Everything #the big thing is my optic nerves r still good at least. and my brain is too. its just my damn veins #theyre simply too small for my big blood... #fatphobia m #idk tagging that just in case #sorry minor venting abt medical shit. this disease is just annoying bc i do not feel like im in remission and i feel like they just #say that without knowing what it means #like theres no more damage and im basically all good but i still FEEL sick. like . idk its just Annoying #idk annoying is an understatement its distressing but i am learning 2 cope with it #just in a bad flare up or Sick Moment idk #long post #kinda idk #im FINE just mad

[monachopism]

being jewish with zero affiliation to israel and rather a generational line of activists for palestine is a hard line to walk and sometimes i wish i could just fall off

#i hate zionist jews i hate i stand with israel signs in my neighborhood i hate leftists who write and speak and act like theyve never met an #actual jewish person in their life and believe that were all genocidal monsters (in spite of our own genocide which i assume will eventuall #flip around to leftist holocaust denial) i hate that people are blaming israeli civilians for the faults of their deeply corrupt government #i hate that i cant say zionism is inherently antsemitic without getting fucking maimed i fucking hate it here the world is on fire just #fucking let me burn #anyways #sorry #free palestine #any other #jumblr #girlies (gn) relating to my vent #bc im started to feel ashamed of myself my culture and my people #and its such a fucking shitty feeling #like i can barely look in palestine / gaza / etc. tag without seeing blindingly blatant antisemitism coming from left right and center #like just say you hate jews and fuck off #i cant look at this shit anymore fuck #idk why im so worked up about this rn i just. btwn weeding out all the zionist blogs i didnt know i followed and just being so fucking- #and weeding out all the antisemitic leftist blogs i didnt know i was supporting its all just crashing down #im so fucking tired #and im so fucking tired of having to defend myself any time i talk about the jewish experience in any of this #and im so fucking tired of people equating judaism with religion only #and im so fucking tired of the double standard of also equating with only one race #like there arent jews of every race #the reason you cant see any of this shit is because nearly a century later were still dealing with the aftermath of the 6mil person murder #were always at the cross roads of some ridiculous double standard or the scapegoat for when things are going badly #like fuck i just #dont want to have this fucking identity anymore it makes me a walking talking breathing living fucking target #idk what to do I'm just #desolate

[welcometoteyvat]

pet peeves: drawing people yellow

#advanced sorry as a non artist who doesnt really understand all that lighting shit #but even with weird lighting: #you can make their skin tone different from the pale shown in canon without it being like lemon colored T_T_T_T_T_T #similarly it's so possible to draw darker skin tones without making them gray or all have the same undertone #also i swear if it's for the palette/color theory you can also make palettes and color well without making it... yellow #ramblings! #this has happened in both my fandoms (honestly more frequently than i like but whatever) #& it just annoys me sm lmfaoooofnjksdhgkj #partially blaming one very popular drawing tutorial abt how to draw easian (the tutorial said asian but its rlly just easian......) faces & #im sorry the faces look like lemons #it just................... annoys me #mfw get u a face that looks like 🟡 #this has been in the queue for a really long time bc im . v on the fence abt posting like #i feel like half the time it's not on purpose but it also drives me up the wall also i feel like if people simply paid more attention it #wouldn't happen! well. anyways #whatever this is one of those insane rants that i just need to get out #this is what happens when i occasionally search tags it's just. (sees art) (sideeyes you) (moves on) . whatever lol #not genshin #to be clear this is abt easian coded/easian characters like if a char specifically is described as 'sallow skin' or smth #then it's whatever but it just makes me slightly go 'hmm' if nothing about the character indicates unhealthy skin coloration but u go: 🟡

[barnabybrainrot]

—-

#mod posts #idk dude i am so conflicted abt this ‘barnaby is overrated’ shit #on one hand im like… wow another person who feels he’s overrated. daring today are we? #on the other im like… i understand what its like when the character you like isnt the popular one in the community #like i normally tend to hyperfixate on the side characters so i absolutely know how frustrating it is #i also know from personal experience that a lot of it can just be hating it solely BECAUSE its popular #when i was like 14 and undertale came out i hated it just bc it was popular. and then i played it myself and yknow what? i enjoyed it #like… its okay not to like something!! everyone has unique tastes #and i also understand the concern abt barnaby being treated like snatcher (i know NOTHING abt snatcher so dont. quote me on that) #like theres a chance the ‘fanon’ version of barnaby will be given precedence over ‘canon’ #the same shit happened with sans. remember all those sans/reader fics where sans was this edgy mysterious guy? #yet in fanon hes just a funni little skeleton who likes bad jokes? #yet in *canon jesus christ i cant spell today #but like. can we just let people enjoy things if they arent hurting anyone? #like i get it its annoying sometimes. like i had to mute the oc tag bc i was tired of seeing RP stuff #but im not like. going into their inboxes and telling them theyre bad ppl for enjoying a popular character yknow? #sorry this is making like. no sense. and im sorry to put it in tags but i do NOT want this spreading #anyways. those are my thoughts for today.

[murdaughter]

@goodjobsport said: "look at us, back where we started."

a sad, crooked smile crosses emily's lips. "we don't have to go in if you don't want to." the pizzeria looms over them, holding a different meaning to her now than she ever could have imagined. it had once been an oasis, then a place of decrepit memories, of fear and family and wistfulness and guilt. but now this is the place that she died. the place where her father killed her. she's alive, sure, but she hadn't been, for a few moments. that counts, she thinks. horribly, it makes her feel better. makes her one of his victims in a way that feels more real. like dying is a rite of passage, like she owes it to the kids, the other victims. and she does. when emily looks inside herself, she knows she does. "i just don't want to bring abby there if..." a deep breath shudders out of her. "if the kids are gone. and if--" she chokes back a wounded sound. when she speaks again, her voice is impossibly small. "if he's there."

it's a fear she rarely acknowledges. with the kids, it's a little easier. the thought of losing them had been painful, but with the pizzeria so completely out of reach, she'd had no hope of seeing them. emily has elected to believe they've been able to move on, to rest. she hopes so dearly that that's true, that they haven't had to be without her, that they aren't in pain. but if her father is there... her only hope is that he went with the suit. that his unfinished business is died to that damned thing and not the place itself.

the police–– the real police–– had been involved while she was comatose. mike had been the one to explain most of it to her; how with the revelations she'd provided about afton's crimes, a more thorough investigation had been carried out. the place was mostly cleared out, but the building still stood and technically belonged to her now. it's been months since the trial, all of which is a blur. it almost feels like everything must have happened to someone else–– not her, not emily, but vanessa. like someone she was in a past life.

standing here, though, it's all too real. back where we started. he isn't kidding.

#for reference! vanessa starts going by emily Officially once she's awake from the coma #she's been kind of crafting the identity around emily for a long time? like it's just her #but it started when she was like in her teens/tweens as like a way to be like this is who i am without my father #if that makes sense? but she will still be okay with mike and abby calling her vanessa #tho they will be among a privileged few #oh god and also rebgurb vanessa is not a real cop in my canon #i just... do not think it scans lmao! #im also just gonna uh. skate over her criminal involvement regbuire. based on some googling im gonna go ahead and say she like? was? let of #which realistically would i think never ever happen bc of the severity of the crimes? but idk idk #this is also tumblr rp so we're just gonna run with it #also im sorry for all this shit in the tags i just feel like its helpful context! #child abuse / #abuse / #dissociation / #just to cover my bases #child death mention / #child death ment / #god sorry for this NOVEL rip #ptsd / #goodjobsport

[steelycunt]

aus where r/s have a kid are a little strange to me sorry. because well s okay i sort of get it but r? what about that man makes you think he would a) want a child b) be a good father to one. be real

#when i say aus i also mean the child she made him father in the canon material. which never shouldve happened #teddy lupin means nothing to me. those are just words. there is no residual fondness left over from my affection for his father #sorry but even if they got married. i dont think theyre having kids. that seems like such a strange next move for them i cannot imagine the #wanting that #r endangered every child in hogwarts incuding his dead best friends son so as not to damage his reputation with the big boss. and now you #have to understand i dont see that as any sort of crime because i dont give a shit about any of those kids if it was up to me #he wouldve eaten harry when he got the chance. but the principle of it does not scream to me 'man who should have a child :-(' #as much as i HATE to acknowledge the existence of hjp. he was kid enough for s i think and i grant you he was a good parental figure to him #but like. for him and his loser boyfriend to go out of their way to have a child. feels unlikely ill level with you. but this might all jus #be my disinterest in kidfic showing. i think im right though #like its one thing to take h in as the orphan son of ur dead friend in canon. but like in aus...hm. #its the same as i feel about them proposing to each other. said it b4 but i cannot imagine either of them planning some big heavily #orchestrated candles and roses down on one knee proposal. that is not them its just not. if they DO get married its because they are #brushing their teeth together and one of them goes we should get married and the other one goes what? and the first one says we should #get married again and the other one goes take your toothbrush out of your mouth i cant understand what youre saying like that. and the #first one takes their toothbrush out and repeats i SAID we should get MARRIED and the other one goes oh okay. if you'd like #anyway. this post got away from me no one is reading these tags are they jeez #r/s

[lunar-years]

Sending you hugs from the absolutely terrible to be in "parents dying from cancer club" that I wish no one was joining.

yeah. yeah. thank you and right back at you. ❤️ sending you lots of love.

#i graduated college couldn't get myself employed finally got employed only for covid to forlough me #only for my sole remaining grandparent to pass from cancer only for mom to get diagnosed with terminal cancer 2 months after #only for mom to now be on hospice 2 years later like its just been a whirlwind #and then the whole world is such shit and people are dying in much ~worse~ ways that it makes me feel bad for even feeling like shit #anyway #sorry to trauma dump in the tags #i really am doing surprisingly well despite all that and im proud of myself for that. its just also #the horrors #asks #ktp #tw cancer #FUCK cancer!!! #tw grief

[giratina-plushie]

what this is teaching me is that im funnier and more correct and i should make more posts

#i dont original post anymore cause i used to liveblog my college lessons on here and like..... look im all for internet preservation but if #its from 2020 and i find it again im deleting that shit sorry #but yeah doing that for like a year and a half and then experiencing the clarity of march-may 2021 made me go Jesus Christ #I Do Not Want To Live Like This #and proceeded to just not make original posts that weren't 'art' or 'silly image i made' #also all the posts of mine that have got a lot of notes in a short amount of time in the past couple years have been shit i thought of #between the hours of 12 and 4am #good lord a tag rant havent done one of these in a while #i feel the need to be presentable on here when i make original posts because of the above and also people follow me on here? #but i'm trying to adopt the whole You're In My House; Bitch thing